#IF I DONT GET MUCH BETTER THIS MONTH I WILL BE IMPROVING EVENTUALLY. i PROMISE

[qiekzart]

Kaiba in casual clothing or school uniform

its october the 12th you know what that means (day 12 of drawing kaiba every day of october) 12/10/2023

this gave me an idea. so have kaiba in oversized hoodie!!!!!! :333 .. skrunkly...

[plz reblog]

[slutshamethesquirrels]

Shamesy's Declassified Fanfic Writing Survival Guide - Part 3

Help! The world is burning and everything sucks!

hi hi friends!!! welcome back to the fanfic writing survival guide!

today i'm gonna cover a bit of a "no-no" topic, if you will. its something i've been struggling a lot with here recently and something i'm witnessing other authors go through as well: writer's block... or, at least, what you might think is writers block.

today, we'll be talking about what to do when you lose interest in your fic. and, respectively (possibly more importantly), what not to do.

1) Beat yourself up

Look, I know, I know. Theres a chance right now you're kicking yourself and loosing ur marbs because your little writer peanut brain has convinced you that you are satan's incarnate and everyone hates you and wants you to die.

this is, undeniably, untrue. i implore you to do whatever it takes to get out of this headspace before you do anything at all. go outside, touch some grass, maybe eat a bug, just really get in touch with the real breathing world with no fictional dick n balls for a while. however long it takes to realize your intrinsic value is not tied to the fictional dick n balls. there are no fictional dick n balls out there, friends. only real ones.

here u go, look at this:

feel better yet? if not, keep staring until you do. it'll get funny eventually, i swear.

2) Force yourself to write the damn thing anyway

this is only gonna result in a sub-par product, and your readers can tell. no, they can, i promise. it's always evident to me when an author has lost steam.

i dont want ur poo poo writing, and neither does anyone else. i would rather you abandon it entirely than ruin it-- AHT AHT! TAKE UR FINGERS OFF THE KEYBOARD RN!!! NO!!! BAD FIC AUTHOR!! BAD!!

3) Think you owe your readers anything

another controversial statement but what am i good for if not being a big ole bitch??

look, we love our readers. we ALL do but you simply cannot pour from an empty cup for them. you come first, your mental health and general health comes first. your interests come first and your wants and needs come first. if they want superhot!chad!alphamale!jimmy neutron x reader or whatever that fucking badly, they can write it themselves.

1) Write other things!

Yep yep!!! Write a one shot, a drabble, a personal self indulgent story, some poetry, whatever floats your boat!!

Remember, this is supposed to be fun! You are allowed to indulge in whatever you want to, shocker, I know!!! the world is your oyster baby! branch out to other fandoms, re-visit old dead writings you've re-gained interest in, write a character you don't usually write, jump on a roleplay forum and just chill, my dude. kick back and remember why you enjoyed it!

2) Put it on hiatus!

"NOOOOOO!" the readers shout and then immediately explode. "YEEEESSSSSS!" I respond just as violently. Seriously, push it away from your nog for a bit. Let it rest. I would rather see a good chapter from you in six months from now then to get something soulless. If you just cant rn, thats fine!!

3) Grab a buddy and have them critique you

god, i will forever be in debt to @vallification for having this type of friendship with me.

we often think of critique and feedback as a negative, but it can often breathe a new life into your work!! message your most down to earth and honest bud, send the draft over and just say "hey i fucking hate this why do i hate this" and chances are a pair of fresh eyes will be able to point out things to you you didn't see before. nut up and quit being a baby, we all have shit we can improve on. who are you, jesus christ? if yes, could you PLEASE answer my prayers and send me a hot n' spicy mcchicken to my door via drone and/or angelic delivery?? im not asking for much, dude its the best fast food sandwich.

"but shamesy, im super hermit basement dweller core and don't have a friend thats kind of a bitch that would--" yes the fart you do. im right fucking here, rude ass <3 my dm's and asks are always open.

3A) Bounce ideas off said homie

again, val could absolutely sit on my face for this. we throw ideas back and forth constantly. you have no idea how absolutely megamind brain your dogs can be until you ask them.

4) Just start virtually sharting onto a page

this is how suguru blue AND a first time for everything were created!!

just start typing and see what happens! sometimes it doesn't work out (#shamesy's failed ficlets ) but no matter the case it'll help you loosen up a little

5) Take your writing on the go!!

ooooo I LOVE THIS ONE!! Take your laptop or phone to the park, the beach, a coffee shop or cafe and just make it feel less like work and more like play! this can do WONDERS for your creativity! the library is also a great place, because you have so much literary inspiration to quickly reference!

hope this helps!! you can check out my masterlist to find the other two survival guides as well as all my writings! stay cooch!!!

[despite-everything]

im sitting outside my partners apartment in my car and honestly i shouldnt have come. im pretty upset (with both of them, but one in particular) because of some shit and id been debating not coming down to see them (i live an hour away... i have a thing in this town tomorrow night, so rather than just driving down for that i was coming today so i could spend the night with my partners and enjoy time with them) and i convinced myself to visit anyway and i shouldnt have. if i didnt have to be in this town tomorrow id actually just turn around and drive back home. i thought itd be best if i still came because id be embarrassed to tell my dad (who i live with) why plans changed and im tired of lying about shit like this. i need to talk to my partners aboutthis because if nothing changes i will break up with them - i understand that these problems that are arising are due in part to mental illness, but its not fair to expect me to just have to adapt to shitty treatment because of it. we're all fucking mentally ill and if they can't improve their behavior after months of promising to them im just fucking done. this has happened to me so many times before in friendships and relationships and its fucking embarrassing!! if i was anyone else i'd be saying to break up immediately but i don't want to.

im just fucking venting here but i dont know who to even talk to about this other than my partners and while that's going to happen eventually im just like... im fucking upset. every few weeks, i drive for more than an hour each way to visit people who live in a town i used to live in. they rarely come see me. i spend money on food and gas when i do this and have to account for it in my monthly budgeting. i stay with people who say they have no plans and want to prioritize us spending time together, but when i get there, they almost always have made separate plans while i'm there that i am not part of, and rarely give me a warning so that i can adjust my schedule or make other plans of my own. i mention that this is an issue, they promise to do better, then they dont. i adjust to texting a few days in advance to check their schedule, and despite doing so,they consistently make or have "forgotten" other scheduling conflicts that they bring up either the night before i drive to visit or when i arrive. thats the scenario, right? this has happened to me before. last time, it was with my high school friends who continued to string me along until i decided that it hurt too much and i slowly backed out of the friendships. no one has reached out since. this time, it's my fucking partners. the main difference is that i have a key to my partners apartment, meaning im not stuck in my car/in parks when they're busy. but thats just so fucked up. especially since my partners used to encourage me to step back from my old friends who were hurting me this way.

im just venting so i can get some of this shit off my chest before i go inside. to my knowledge, one of my partners is inside napping, while the other is in some meeting they didnt tell me about until last night. i dont even know what the fucking meeting is about or where it is.

i dont want to go inside because... what? am i supposed to pretend everything is fine and hide my feelings so they dont feel guilty? thats not fucking fair. if i let my upset show, they're going to act like kicked puppies and im going to feel fucking awkward because i dont want excuses and i dont want groveling or a hundred "im sorrys". i dont want that. i want their fucking behavior to change.

[luciusspriggss]

trauma dumping on main some more (this is purely to rant. that's it)

i get im hard to be with. but i am constantly trying to better myself. i am constantly trying to do good. and i always support whoever im with no matter what. because i love them and dont care if they need my help getting out of bed, taking their shoes and socks off for them, or consoling them while they are having a hard time. that doesnt make a difference for me.

it's just hard when nobody is willing to do the same for me. and i get it, im difficult. i have meltdowns, i have low self esteem, i have trouble socializing with people and understanding social cues, i sometimes struggle with severe executive dysfunction, but i always try to make up for it in other ways.

after six months with Jes, they told me, after seeing me at my worse, that if that is all there is then they would want to spend the rest of their life with me. even if i was always at my worst and never got better. regardless, i tried so hard to never get back to that point and really improve myself. eventually they gave me a promise ring and told me they wanted to spend the rest of their life with me and marry me someday. that they never believed in love, or even knew what love really was, until they met me.

which is why it hurt when they told me they dont think they can handle my problems forever. that they dont believe in marriage or deep love anymore (with anyone). despite having a new partner who they have admitted that they may be in love with already. i get it, i really get it. im "too much" or "a lot".

it's just...the only people who really get me and love all of me, are my dad and step-mom. im scared im going to be alone the rest of my life. i understand i need to know how to be on my own (which i feel like i already do, considering my past situations where I was living by myself). I just, want to meet someone who gets me, and i get them, and we love and support one another.

i dont want to be scared, that if i have a meltdown they will want to break up with me. i want someone who is cool with me trying to figure out what is going to happen in a show/movie/storyline. i'm tired of people telling me to stop because "what is the point in even watching with you, when you are going to figure everything out and tell us what is going to happen. why watch anything at that point if you just figure it out all the time". i dont always figure it out though, and im never confident, i just see that shit as like a puzzle and it excites me. i just want for someone to try with me as much as i try with them. i want someone i can have fun with. i want someone who sees me and loves me for me.

i feel like people get to know me and create this idealized version of me (a manic pixie dream girl. one of my nicknames from someone was Summer Finn, from 500 days of summer). they put me on this pedestal, and then see the rest of me. not the fun me. not the quirky me. the real me. and realize they dont want to deal with "all of that". im tired of every romantic interest ive ever had, telling me "im not good enough for you, you deserve better than me. you deserve someone who can take care of you just as much as you take care of me"

i just feel unlovable. it doesnt help that my first ex ingrained in me that "nobody is good enough for you. you will never be happy with anyone. you are probably best off on your own". 😞. i dunno. i also dont know how the hell im supposed to meet someone, if i am terrified of talking to people. i am on the dating apps, but have never had any luck with them (probably because someone i would really get along with isnt even on them).

i just feel so lonely. it hurts that i found someone who i loved deeply, that ultimately realized they dont even want to try supporting me. which isnt that hard!!! just do what my dad does, which is make spaghetti (or buy it), have me do some task while spaghetti is cooking (usually chopping wood or something), and then watch a show/movie while eating spaghetti!!! like thats it. he lets me cry and freak out, leaves me be, reassure me he loves me, and make spaghetti. im not saying im expecting someone to do exactly what my dad does, but i just mean, someone who is willing to figure out how they can show they care in their own way.

Jes didnt want to do that. when i had meltdowns or shutdowns or ocd episodes, they would just leave me alone and go off doing fuck off whatever they wanted, come back and be like, "are you okay now?". my first ex would leave me alone too, come back and be like "why are you still crying. get over it.". and ive become accustomed to having to deal with moments on my own. which is really fucking hard. but i can do it. i know i can. it would just be nice to have someone who would be willing to try at least some of the time.

i just want to feel wanted. i want someone who loves all of me. just like i want to give someone all of my love. im tired of always feeling like im going to be alone the rest of my life. that nobody will ever want me. that i am unlovable. that i am nobody.

-siiiigggghhhhh- im fine. i will be fine. there is nothing wrong with being alone. i just need to come to terms with that.

[rek1s-headband]

Oh oh! Can we get some hedcanons about cherry adopting a girl who is around miya's age. Like how close would they be and how would others feel about her being his daughter now. Bonus points if uncel Joe and little missy mess with daddy blossom

Xoxo love your work so far, keep it up💙

➯ A/N: This was such an amazing request, I had so much fun writing it! Hope you enjoy :)

Also, i started watching Your Lie in April today, and its AMAZING! So much more than what I was expecting

➯ With a daughter

➯ Characters: Kaoru Sakurayashiki with a young daughter. Reki, Langa and co. are mentioned throughout!

➯ Warnings: none:)

Having a child had never crossed Kaoru’s mind before, but when Joe had teased him about how “you treat Carla better than you would a child!”, the idea kind of stuck with him. And so, he’d spent countless nights awake, wondering to himself if it was something he truly wanted?

He’d pass parks, seeing parents with spewing babies and toddlers throwing tantrums, wondering if he could actually put up with that? But as he passed the shops, he came across a mother and her daughter, who looked around 12. He watched them pass, a grin on the child’s face as she looked into her shopping bag, examining her haul for that day. And so it was settled

He wanted a baby girl he could spoil absolutely rotten

And the search for a child carried on, and this time instead of baby shops and websites, he was browsing the shelves of Claires and other tween clothing stores. It had only occurred to him over a bottle of wine with Joe, as they were discussing if Kaoru was truly ready for something like this. Instead of a crying baby or a messy toddler, he could simply adopt someone a bit older!

It made sense too. For a single parent, an older child seemed much more doable. Of course, he wouldn’t be alone. Joe was always telling him how he’d help out, yknow, if he actually went through with the damn thing.

Not to mention, the older you get, the more difficult it is to get adopted. Babies and young children will get adopted left right and centre, whereas the child he will take home will have been there for a while. Finally, they will have a place to call a home

He spent months trying to get the approval for adoption, and one fateful day he finally got the letter that yes he could go ahead and take one home. He was ecstatic, spending the next few days finding out the location of every orphanage around his area of Japan. He messaged every single one, asking when their next visiting day was

And so it was set: Kaoru would not rest until he had found his perfect little girl

He went through orphanage after orphanage, searching for someone he could call his own. However, none of the children were lighting that paternal flame inside him. It wasn’t their fault of course, they just didn’t click with him, staring at him any time he tried to talk to them. Visit after visit, he’d go to Joe’s, ready to tell him about his recent fail.

It wasn’t until Joe came up to him with a phone number, asking if he’d been to this particular orphanage yet. Apparently they had a few children aged 12 and up, and were available for visit that Saturday. And so there he was, packing a bag and getting ready to travel to the house. This time felt different, somehow. He could feel his palms sweat, as if he could sense he would take one of them home

When he finally made it to the house, he was a nervous wreck. The lady of the house let him in with a smile, telling him the children were in the backyard playing while she bounced a baby on her hip. Cherry winced as the baby gurgled at him, glad he opted for an older child

She led him outside, gesturing at the children who were sprinting around in the vast field, hiding behind trees and bushes. It was clear they were playing a game of hide and seek. He smiled as he scanned over them, but it quickly disappeared when he noticed one little girl sitting on the step, head in her lap while her shoulders gently shook with tears

He walked over to her, bending down with a soft smile. He didn’t know where this sudden calmness came from, but that was his last priority right now. A little gash sat on the girls knee, caked with blood as it trickled down her shin. He frowned, pulling out a tissue to gently wipe it. She jumped, wincing with shock from the fresh wave of pain, and surprise. Kaoru gently wiped at her knee once more before looking up at her to attempt a conversation

“Hello, is your knee alright?” She shook her head frantically, wiping a tear away from her face. A small breathy laugh escaped him as he watched the child stand, gesturing to her leg

“Nope, not at all. I think its broken, if you ask me. All cause of that stupid thing!” She threw her arm out, gesturing to a pink board Kaoru hadn’t noticed before. A skateboard.

That’s when Kaoru realised it: I want this one

Suddenly he felt a new sense of importance, like he had to make a good impression. He walked over to the board, tutting as he looked down at it. “This is what hurt you?” He looked at it with disdain as the little girl nodded her head violently. Kaoru could see how she hurt herself, the thing was massive, especially for someone her age. It looked around the size of a board he would use.

Grinning, he picked up the board. “Well, want to see something cool?” She watched in wonder as kaoru stood on it, pushing off and turning quickly, popping an ollie over a stray toy. The little girl jumped, throwing her arms up as she cheered Kaoru on. He finished with a flourish, coming back to stand beside her. “What did you think?” She was speechless, simply moving her hands, saying scattered “wows” and making various sound effects. Kaoru smiled, certain that he could teach her more.

When he realized visiting time was coming to a close, he proposed the idea to the girl, who’s name he had come to know was Lily: he’d come back next week, and he’d bring his board. He even promised to find her a smaller boar perfect for her to learn on, saying he knew a friend who could make her one. From there he would teach her the basics of skateboarding, even a couple of tricks once she got that down. She was delighted, bouncing up and down and declaring she couldn’t wait, all the energy of someone much younger than her. Kaoru found he couldn’t stop smiling himself either

He made his way back through the house, Lily skipping alongside him. He explained the plan to the Lady, that he would come back next week for another visit. Just as he was about to leave, he turned to the lady to request one final thing from her

“Make sure no one snatches her up from me while I’m gone, yeah?”

Needless to say a bottle of wine was opened at Joe’s that night in celebration of Lily, the potential daughter

And so the weeks turned into months, and Kaoru returned each week with his board and some sweets for her and the other children, teaching her everything she needed to know about skateboarding. After a month or so she could confidently ollie without bailing, and next time he visited she displayed it with delight, watching Kaoru’s face light up with pride.

She had taken a real liking to Kaoru, according to the Lady. She refused to pay any other visitors any notice, declaring they “simply weren’t Kaoru.” This is what finally made him realise that maybe it was time to ask if she’d like to live with him from now on, where she could practice with him every day.

When he asked her, Kaoru could’ve sworn he actually saw stars in her eyes. She simply lit up, throwing herself at Kaoru, tears streaming down her face as she shouted yes, of course she would. she wasn’t the only one crying, Kaoru could barely see from the tears in his own eyes, the lady dabbing at hers with a tissue

Once the paperwork was complete and Lily was his, he felt a weight had been taken off his shoulders. He had packed her a new change of clothes the day he went to collect her, bringing Joe along with him for emotional support. Lily came flying at him the second he got out of his car, wrinkling her nose at Joe

“You never told me you had a boyfriend, Kaoru” she stuck her tongue out at him from over his shoulder while they both tried to convince her that no, they weren’t a couple, before she ran upstairs to get changed. Joe turned to Kaoru, an almost offended look on his face

“Why were you so adamant that we weren’t together??” “I dont need her worrying she’s going home to a Gorrila” “HEY”

Once they all got home, they threw a little party at Joe’s who had closed a little early specially for it. Kaoru didn’t let her out of his sight, making sure she wasn’t uncomfortable with all the new people. Of course, it was only Joe, Shadow, Reki, Langa and Miya, all of whom she would meet eventually, but he still worried in case she got overwhelmed.

She made quick friends with Reki, who was ecstatic from the moment he realised she could skate. The two bonded over it, talking about tricks they’d learned, Reki shouting over at Kaoru because why hadn’t he taught him anything??

Miya was a bit standoffish at first, but when she saw the switch in his hand, the two were instantly bonding over who had better villagers in Animal Crossing, and who had passed more levels in Mario with three stars

As the months went on, Lily really settled into her new life in Okinawa, starting at school in Miyas class. The two were joined at the hip, Miya often coming home to Kaoru’s so they could practice together, or simply study and watch some movies. Reki constantly teased the shit out of the two, talking about how he heard “wedding bells”. This comment earned him a swift whack into the skull from Kaoru, warning him not to tease his little girl

Soon enough Kaoru was making her own skateboard with built-in Carla, who helped her skating improve insanely. As Kaoru said, she was definitely a chip off the old block. Langa and Reki would take her to the skate park with them, helping her land new tricks and would take videos of her to send to Kaoru

Shadow was like a chill uncle to her, bringing her flowers for her room and taking her out to get some clothes and ice cream. Joe was like an uncle too, but a much more untrustworthy one. Would he take her to the park, or would he take her to parts of downtown she definitely shouldn’t have been? Who knows, certainly not Kaoru...

Poor Kaoru can never get a minutes peace. Every second of the day she’s plotting something, waiting for him to let his guard down so she can pounce, scaring the shit out of him. When the others are around its 10x worse, all of them ganging up on him to pull pranks

As well as skateboarding, Kaoru tried to teach her how to do calligraphy. She ended up being awful, blotting the ink and smearing it with her hand. But hey, it was a fun art project that made it onto the fridge

At S, she was watched like a hawk. When Kaoru was competing,the others would be like her bodyguard, making sure no one got within 5 feet of her. She’d watch her dad with wonder, the look of awe never leaving her face since the first day she saw him skate. She can’t wait for the day she can compete, maybe even beating her own dad

The first time Lily called Kaoru “dad” was when he won a race, showing off some amazing skills and winning the insanely close match by a hair. He picked up his board, looking around for Lily. He saw her in the crowd, throwing her arms up and cheering “THATS MY DAD!! LOOK, RIGHT THERE, THATS MY DAD!” When she spotted him, a large grin spread across her face. “Nice job out there dad! You did amazing!! D’you think I can do that one day?”

Everyone was staring at her, she hadn’t even realised she had said anything out of the ordinary. Soon enough Kaoru was lunging at her, picking her up in a hug so she didn’t see the tears quickly forming on his face. With a smile he pulled away, his voice dripping with pride

“Of course you could. You’re my daughter, aren’t you?”

[raveneira]

Since Yashahime is such a dumpster fire Im just gonna rewrite the sequel to what I THINK would have been the better alternative to the whole SessRin situation and also some story elements that could really be improved and would make this series alot better.

For starters, if we HAD to go the SessRin route then I would make it take place 21 years after the end of final act, Kagome was 18 when she returned to the feudal era and 3 years had passed at the end of the final act which made her 21, Rin should have been about 11-12 at that point, if we count 21 years from then, Kagome would be 42 while Rin would be 32-33, meaning when the twins were born Rin was 18-19, I know that might make ppl a bit uncomfortable still but atleast she would be a legitimate adult where you can atleast say "alright...Im KIND of ok with this, I still dont like it but atleast she is technically an adult capable of consenting and not a literal child being taken advantage of"

Thats if they HAD to go the SessRin route, then I would atleast make it done tastefully where it doesnt promote pedophilia, plus the old gang being in their 40s wouldnt be that big a deal because they'd still be capable of fighting.

Now for my PERSONAL take on how the sequel should have taken place, SessRin wouldnt happen at all, because the beauty of their relationship stemmed from this ruthless cold hearted demon who hated humans, learned to love and care for a small child to the point of nearly crying when he thought he lost her for good, there are all different kinds of love and the love Sesshomaru had for Rin was pure and innocent. He was someone she adored as her savior and caretaker and she was someone he cared for and wanted to protect, to me that bond was far more impactful and meaningful than anything romantic or sexual building up between them, but simply two people whom the other simply cannot live without because they mean THAT much to eachother. Such a pure and sweet relationship did NOT need to be twisted into a romantic and sexual light. Rin could have continued to adore Sesshomaru and he could have continued to check up on her and bring her gifts as he did in the final act until Rin decided she wanted to travel with him again.

Now onto the rewrite, as I stated SessRin WOULDNT happen and their bond would remain as it was in the OG series, so who would be the twins mother? well if we HAD to go the half demon route to show Sesshomaru's development full circle, and we didnt wanna undo Kagura's death because it was a critical moment for Sesshomaru's development, there were several other routes that could have been taken.

1 Create a new character and develop her over the course of Yashahime through a series of flashbacks as we unravel the mystery of what happened to everyone through the girls travels. If you want to go the angsty route you could have her die giving birth and have Rin raise them as a sort of surrogate mother figure, kind of like Clementine with AJ.

2 Use an already established character, one possibility being Nazuna, a human girl that debuted back in the early OG series, she had black hair and black eyes but as we see from Yashahime, the girls clearly didnt inherit their mothers looks as in the OG series Rin's hair was black and her eyes are brown while Setsuna's hair is brown and she has blue/purple eyes while Towa has red eyes, features that neither of their parents have. They also have a random red streak in their hair for some reason. 

So based on this, Nazuna would be a good possible candidate as she was a teenager in the OG series and would be an adult by the end of the series when she would give birth. [Correct me if Im wrong about her age but she looks like a teenager, but if Im wrong then I would just adjust the timeline to where she would be an adult at the time she gives birth]

Another potential candidate would be Momiji, true she may have been anime only but since this is an anime only sequel she is a plausible candidate. She has red/auburn hair which would explain the strange red streak in the twins hair. Like Nazuna, she was a teenager in the OG series so she would also be an adult by the time she'd conceive and give birth.

Another candidate would be Kaname Kururugi, a game exclusive character, but the fact that they went through the trouble of creating a complete OC and fleshed out her backstory to such a degree and allowed her to build relationships with established characters, including Sesshomaru, its safe to say they could have incorperated her into the anime canon considering they already had an established foundation they could have just built off of and meshed it into the anime. Plus she has brown hair and blue/purple eyes just like Setsuna.

Now that we have all the potential candidates, who's the one that seems the most plausible? In my opinion, I would personally go the Kaname route because she has such a deep and fleshed out backstory and they actually took the time to even animate scenes specifically for this game, so she does TECHNICALLY make an appearance in the anime, just not in an actual episode. And just like Kagome, she could have grown fond of the feudal era as well and wished to go back and somehow found a way to do so at the end of the Final act or maybe a month or year later after Kagome returned.

So going with the Kaname route, I'll begin my rewrite.

Being as Sesshomaru hasnt seen her since she was 15 like Kagome and vanished for several years, when he finally sees her again she will now be 18-19 when they reunite and a relationship would start to build and ensue.

Continuing where the game left off, Kaname would continue on with her normal life as Kagome did and eventually graduate when she is 18. She would still often think about her time in the feudal era and miss all the people she spent time with and bonded with there, one person specifically being Sesshomaru.

^ A refresher for those who forgot the Sesshomaru ending.

As she comes home from graduation, another Doll Festival of Wishes is being held and it reminds her of Sesshomaru whom she wishes to see again, she goes and buys one of the dolls and writes his name on it as she did when she first returned home, thinking to herself that its no use and is probably a waste of time, but with what little hope she has left, she does the ritual anyway.

Afterwards she goes over to her father to help him with the festival, who like last time asks her to go get something from the storehouse. As she enters the storehouse, the hole in which she fell through before has been patched up, as she walks through the storehouse, she walks on the patched up floor which caves in when she walks on it and she is once again transported to the feudal era.

She once again lands in a forest not far from where Kaede lives, as she wakes up, she is greeted by Sesshomaru, who had saw her unconscious on his way to visit Rin and watched over her till she woke up. Overjoyed and also in disbelief, she hugs him which surprises Sesshomaru who isnt used to recieving this type of affection but he doesnt push her away, nor does he reciprocate by hugging her back.

As she lets go she tells him how much she missed him and everyone there, then, noticing Rin wasnt with him, asks him where she was, worried that something might have happened to her. He reassures her that Rin is fine and that he was just on his way to visit her at Kaede's village which relieves Kaname. She goes with Sesshomaru back to Kaede's village where she reunites with everyone much to their surprise but they are all very happy to see her again.

Anyway Im not gonna do a play by play step by step storytelling so Im just gonna mention the main story beats and you guys can fill in the blanks for yourself.

Anyway after the happy reunion and catching up, Sesshomaru prepares to leave back on his travels which saddens Kaname who had longed to see him again and only got to be reunited with him a short time. Reluctant to be apart from him again, she asks, or rather insists he allows her to come with him on his travels. He tells her that if she comes with him it'll be a dangerous journey for her, she replies confidently that she can take care of herself and promises to not be a burden to him. Reluctant but not willing to argue, he tells her to do as she wishes and flies off. Kaname hops on A-Un and soon follows, and the two begin their travels together.

Thats pretty much how'd we leave off the final act, atleast a month or two after, you can decide your own timeline.

As for what happened on their journey and how their relationship developed will be shown through a series of flashbacks over the course of Yashahime as we solve more of the mysteries.

In episode 15, we'd get the same flashback but with Kaname being the one to give birth to the twins with Rin, Kagome, Sango, and Kaede there for her as support. It is said that when Sesshomaru and Kaname found out she was pregnant, he brought her back to the village where she could have a safe pregnancy and birth. Of course Sesshomaru isnt the mushy type to stay there with her through her pregnancy, but he does visit from time to time when giving gifts to Rin but also goes to check on her and see how she’s doing, although he doesnt admit thats what he’s doing.

After the twins were born, everything plays out relatively the same, but instead of just taking the twins without a word to her, he atleast reassures her that he's taking them someplace safe from harm, although he cant explain to her right now what that harm is, Kaname says she trusts him.

As I said, things play out relatively the same after that.

As for Rin, what exactly happens with her? well if we MUST pair her off with someone, it should be Kohaku, someone she has an established relationship and bond with that is closer to her age. Whether or not they have kids I'll leave up to you to decide, but I like the idea of Kohaku having a little demon slayer son to carry on their legacy. It would be interesting seeing his bond with Setsuna since Rin would essentially be like a sister figure for the twins although they dont remember her, it would be interesting and sweet to see Setsuna develop a bond with their son who for the sake of simplifying things, we'll call him Korin.

Korin, if we want Rin to be an adult at the time she gives birth, would be 4 years after Kaname gives birth to the twins when Rin is 18-19, making Korin 10 in the present. Like the twins, Korin has no memories of his mother since she was sealed away in a tree for whatever reason, so the only mother figure he's ever had has been Setsuna, which would be an interesting dynamic to explore since it would be similar to how Sesshomaru filled a parental role for Rin who didnt have anyone at the time.

Moroha would NOT be this uncaring about her parents, infact she would be insanely curious, maybe even furious wanting to figure out why they abandoned her and vanished without a word since nobody seems to have told her anything that happened. She would want answers and wouldnt stop until she gets them. The OG crew if we MUST have this mystery drawn out, would tell her that it would be better if she found out the truth for herself and that any answers they give her wouldnt be the answers she wants. So Moroha's driving force in the story wouldnt be about some stupid bounty hunting debt, although she could still be a bounty hunter, but her main motivation would be trying to discover the truth about her parents and why they abandoned her.

Also this BS with Koga giving her up would NOT happen, it just wouldnt, that is BEYOND OOC for him to do and I will not be having it. Instead, Koga would be IN character and not let Moroha out of his sight, he would treat her like kin like the rest of the wolf demon tribe, maybe even give her special treatment because of her connection to Kagome. Koga would train Moroha himself, not going easy on her because he wants her to be strong enough to fend for herself, concerned because of her being a quater demon and having her demon powers sealed, he’s hard on her to toughen her up to not have to rely on it. 

If we must include Yawaragi, then she would be sort of a bodyguard assigned to watch over Moroha by Koga for when he cant. The storyline of the rat armor would still relatively be the same but instead of selling Moroha off to some shady bounty hunter which Koga would never allow or forgive her for doing, she simply introduces him to her as a long time friend, Moroha would take interest in the bounty hunting business as an opporunity for training, and potentially finding info on her parents since Jyubei seems to have alot of connections and intel that’ll be useful in her journey. Yawaragi instead of pursuing the key alone would bring Moroha with her when they are approached by the shady demon whos name I cant be bothered to remember, he blackmails her with the key telling her to fight Moroha if she wants it, Moroha scoffs at this telling him that she wouldnt do that and that they’ll both fight him together to get the key instead, but to her surprise Yawaragi attacks her.

Everything plays out relatively the same, Moroha is hurt at her betrayal and lashes out at her. Yawaragi, like in the episode uses this fight as one final lesson for Moroha, with full intention on dying by the end of it. Moroha is hesitant to fight her because she still cares about her as she was like a second mentor and somewhat mother figure to her. So to get Moroha to fight seriously she lies to her by saying that everything was a lie and that she never cared about her etc I wont go into a ton of detail, Moroha is reluctant to believe her but is eventually convinced when she attacks her full power, seemingly with the intent to kill her. This pushes Moroha to fight seriously as well, remembering what she taught her about using her clever thinking and successfully strikes her down. 

After this she goes over to her and Yawaragi admits to lying to her so that she would fight because she knew chances are the shady demon wouldnt have given her the key and since the rat armor was close to killing her anyway she decided she would rather die by Moroha’s hands rather than being crushed to death by the armor. Moroha would be devestated and guiltridden since she is the reason she was in the cursed armor to begin with, but Yawaragi reassures her that it isnt her fault and that it was her own negligence to see through the trap that resulted in this outcome. As a reward for defeating her, she gives Moroha her sword [yes Moroha wouldnt have her sword until now] and tells her to get stronger with it so that she wouldnt have to rely on her rouge, but win using her own strength. Moroha promises her that she will and Yawaragi passes away shortly after that. Everything plays out relatively the same after that.

As for the twins their motivations can mostly stay the same, but they also wouldnt be so uncaring about their parents, or specifically Towa wouldnt. Towa would be furious at her father and want to find him and maybe even kill him for abandoning them and causing them to be separated with seemingly no regard for their safety. Setsuna can maintain her non caring attitude, but given Towa's upbringing in the modern era, it makes sense for her to be furious at her birth father's neglect after experiencing what a loving home and father feels like.

As for what happened to Kaname, like I said you could go the angsty route where she died giving birth, or you could have her be kidnapped and used as a bargaining chip to blackmail Sesshomaru into doing the enemies bidding. You could have it where Sesshomaru was able to prevent Rin from falling into the enemies hands but not Kaname. Or maybe Kaname sacrificed herself for Rin, agreeing to go with the enemy in exchange for them sparing Rin, which is what leads Sesshomaru to sealing Rin in the tree to prevent them from potentially coming back for her. You guys can come up with your own conclusions there, these are just some scenerios off the top of my head. But for the sake of the rewrite we'll go with Kaname being kidnapped and used to blackmail Sesshomaru.

I’ll make an actual rewrite in a separate post with how I would PERSONALLY make the sequel, this post is just me tweaking and making slight alterations to the way Sunrise chose to write the sequel, the separate post would be how I feel the sequel could have played out instead for the better.

[fungusqueen]

Here it is! The promised car-buying tips from my amateur and frugal experience! My general tips are to be prepared, do your homework, and don’t get caught off guard by not doing research and agreeing to things/paying for things you didn’t plan on. 

Car salesmen are not your friends and they’re trying to lead you down the path that’s most profitable for them, which is never going to be the best situation for you. It’s their job to try to sell you on a bunch of stuff you don’t need, so be prepared for their tricks and understand the process so you’re not blindsided. Something specific to the coronavirus pandemic is that dealerships will be very desperate to sell (because no one is buying cars right now) and dealerships are willing to take a loss on a sale! BUT! If you go unprepared, it may also leave you vulnerable to dealerships attempting to do unethical shit BECAUSE they are so desperate to sell. They might try to make profits in places you may not suspect. A lot of aspects of buying a car (especially in financing car) sound good up front, but you might find out you’re getting screwed over. 

I’m not going to discuss what makes a good car, or what you should buy etc. because I really don’t know and that’s your business! I’m mainly going to talk about the steps before and during the car-buying process (inside of a dealership and over the phone inquiring prices etc). I did my car search and car-buying alone (due to the global pandemic and my own desire to have minimal contact with others) and for my first time ever! So I’m only going to share my experience and offer resources.

I recommend this podcast episode from NPR’s Life Kit, “How to Buy a Car Without Being Taken for a Ride” as a simple starting point for car buying advice. It’s 23 min long. I know not everyone will listen to the podcast episode (and you don’t have to) so I summarized some of those episode tips below and elaborated on certain points.

1) Don’t appear too excited (at the dealership); they will try to build your excitement as high as possible. Playing on your emotions and creating a fantasy of a new life in a new car puts you in a position to make irrational decisions. When I was in the dealership, they actually asked me “Are you excited?” and I said “No.” I was also wearing a face mask, so with half my face covered, concealing my excitement was pretty easy! Their attempts may also appear as them trying to get you to talk shit about your old car to get you complaining, and further idealizing your future car. Overall, appearing too eager will not make them fight over you to get a sale. Make them beg!

2) Get pre-approved for a loan before going to a dealership. Know what kind of interest rate you can get and what kind of monthly payment you can afford. Your credit score will inform this; the better your score, the better your rate will be (so if you have time to improve your score, try to build it as high as possible). Your bank/credit union should have rates listed easily online. You don’t have to be a member of a credit union to get a loan with them, but there may be a discounts if you’re already a member. PLEASE KNOW that after applying for a loan, your bank/credit union will give you a time limit on how long you have to find a car/use the loan. My credit union gave me 20 days from the time I applied, but it can vary. You can also call to increase or decrease the loan if the car you initially wanted is no longer available or you choose a different one. When you apply for a loan, you have to supply the VIN (Vehicle Identification Number), but obviously car shopping can change so make sure you supply your bank/credit union with the new VIN number of the car you decide to go with. Your bank/credit union may not approve you for a car that is too old. This happened to me (I first applied for a 2013 car in my budget) and they let me know they typically dont approve loans for cars older than 2014, which was a blessing in disguise because I found a newer model of the same car for around the same price. I ended up changing the car VIN/loan amount 3 times overall from the time I first got pre-approved for my car loan. Just keep your bank/credit union updated. Also! It’s not necessary but it helps if they can send a written (emailed) confirmation of the loan amount with APR listed, as the dealership will need it later in the finance office. 

3) Definitely TEST DRIVE a car you see online before considering purchasing it. It might feel different than you thought! I test drove an older model of the car I wanted before test driving a slightly newer model and I’m really glad I test drove the older one so I had something to compare it too. There was only a two year difference between the models but the upgrades made a difference in ways I wouldn’t have thought before sitting in the driver’s seat!

4) Beware the 7 year car loan. It’s probably not the right car for you if you need 84 months to pay off. Car loans are not like home loans; cars are always depreciating in value. Interest on car loans is also always front-loaded, so the money you put in your first few years will mostly go towards your interest, not the principal of your car loan, and you could be spending way more than you thought. If the car does not last you 7 years, you may owe more than the car ends up being worth if you want to or have to sell it. At this point, it might be a smarter decision to lease a car, if for whatever reason, you insist on getting a specific car. 

4.5) To add to this last point, you’ve probably seen dealership ads on TV or in print that say “0% APR for 84 months!” This is kind of a scam (at least imo) because it’s very seductive in a way that can distract you from other ways you can save. These advertisements serve the purpose of getting people into showrooms. This is because interest rate is only ONE SMALL FACTOR into finding what’s right for your budget. An APR offer is minimal compared to your monthly payment...if the monthly payment is too high (overall car price too high), are you really saving $$? These offers might even be for a shorter payment term, (ex. 36 month instead of 60 month), your monthly payment could be too high for your budget because you didn’t have the flexibility outside of this offer! If your term payment is longer (ex. 84 months), while your car depreciates in value, you may end up owing more than it’s worth by time you pay it off. 7 years is a long time! As well, these offers are usually only for NEW cars (again, more expensive than necessary) and buying used might be a better option. As well, they are not transparent about the minimum credit score required to qualify for 0% APR, so you may not even qualify...even with great credit! The 0% offer is also usually offered along with other incentives, like a manufacturer rebate (thousand $ and above). You’ll often have to chose between one incentive or the other...you could be turning down a multi-thousand dollar rebate because that 0% is very seductive...but if you did the math, it might not be the best option for your budget. ALSO! If you’re going to buy new anyway, banks/credit unions offer better APR rates for new cars rather than used so compare. If you can get a super low APR from your credit union on a new car, why get stuck with a higher monthly payment on a too long/too short loan term you otherwise wouldn’t have chosen just to get that 0%?

5) To continue with the point above ^^ When you are with the salesman, start with price of the car and don’t talk about ANYTHING else until later. THIS IS WHERE THEY GET YOU! They will try to get you to talk about financing, how much money you want to put down etc. BEFORE promising you a juicy competitive price on the car. SO! APR rates shouldn’t even be discussed until you can agree to the price of the car! Sort of another way they GET YA! So distracting! Can prevent you from getting your lowest overall price possible! 

6) IT IS SO FRICKEN IMPORTANT AND I CANNOT STRESS THIS ENOUGH, BECAUSE THIS HAS HELPED ME THE MOST OF ANY TIP I’VE HEARD FROM FRIENDS: ASK FOR OTD (Out the door) price. The prices you see listed online or on a sticker on the car window are not the prices you’ll end up paying. OTD price includes everything, tax, fees etc. A few dealerships nearby had the same car I wanted (only varying slightly in color, mileage etc. but exact same year and model) so I called a few and said “HI I saw your car online, could you give me the OTD (out the door) price?” Ask them to break it down for you, what’s the price of the car, what’s tax, document fee, dmv fee, etc. If the OTD price is very high above the car price plus tax, beware! You should not be paying thousands of dollars in additional mystery fees. If a handful of dealerships have basically the same car, see which one can give you the best price. If a dealership cannot be up-front about their OTD price, and break it down for you so you know how all the money is adding up, RUN AWAY! You can ask for this information over the phone, some fees are often not necessary and are negotiable.

With this coronavirus pandemic, you should not be paying this full OTD price on the car, ask for at least 10% off and see what they say. In my situation, I called, got the OTD price at two different dealerships, one dealership asked me what they could do to get my business and I said, “I might come in today if you can give me 10% off the OTD price.” (I was cackling behind my phone tbh! it seemed ridiculous to me but whatevs). The salesman I was speaking to calculated it, said he’d call me back after asking his manager. When he called me back, they offered me just under 10% off...which sounded pretty sweet to me because the car was already being sold below it’s Kelly Blue Book value and that was the dealership I eventually went with. So u never know if you don’t ask! I asked the same of another dealership and they basically said no. So call around! This guy, Kevin Hunter, on youtube, gave me this idea! His channel is full of car buying wisdom so I highly recommend! 

He has a great recent video specifically about the car buying market in during this coronavirus pandemic. He has videos on topics like, honest car salesman techniques, are certified preowned vehicles worth it, fake fees you shouldn’t pay for, etc. 

7) Something I experienced that Kevin Hunter ^ also explains, (in this video titled, CAR SALESMAN TRICKS YOU into buying a car! DEALERSHIP Rip off: The SET UP) is this weird 4 square setup they did to me...and they do to everyone at a dealership. It’s another distraction tactic, that they will use to distract you from getting a good price on the car. It will look like this:

So the salesman will bring this informal piece of paper out. It’s not a contract, it’s not official, but they’re going to use this paper to pull information from you THAT YOU SHOULD NEVER GIVE THEM! At the point they bring this out, you should only be talking about car sales price. So this piece of paper has spaces to write trade in value (if you’re bringing in your old car to trade in), down payment, monthly payment, and car price. Anything that is not the car sales price will be used against you to try and get you to pay more. They’re trying to create the best profit for the dealership. 

When I was at the dealership, the salesman kept pushing me to say how much cash I wanted to put down, what kind of monthly payment I wanted (ie. how much money can I spend), (and in my situation, I didn’t have a trade-in car, so discussion about that wasn’t brought up). Practice refusing to answer these questions...I kept saying I did not want to discuss financing or cash down until we could agree to the price of the car. You can also say you prefer to discuss this with the finance manager. He tried to get me to sign this 4-Square paper with a higher price on it than I was given on the phone. Do not sign this, it’s weird. I brought out a paper with a much lower price and asked him to sign off on that price instead. Bring the focus back to the car price. Be prepared to walk out and TELL THEM you will leave if you don’t get the price you want! 

which leads me to my next point...

8) DO NOT SAY YOU ARE PAYING CASH. Do not say how much cash you have, do not discuss HOW you are paying at any point with the salesman. After you can agree to a favorable price on the car, you’ll be handed to a finance manager in another room. The salesman is NOT the finance officer. You should not tell your salesman your financial details. If anything, you only have to give the salesman VERY BASIC details so they can run a credit check before handing you to the finance manager.

and below....here is a WHY YOU SHOULDN’T DISCUSS HOW YOU’RE PAYING WITH THE SALESMAN. 

9) Dealers can make a lot of money off a car loan...if you finance through them. Make them believe in the possibility that you might finance through them. They might give you a lower price on the car because they might assume they can get ya with a high APR or long term payment...which will bring them money in the long term. Don’t tell them you’re financing through your bank/credit union before you settle on the car price! In some cases though, a dealership might be able to give you a better deal thank your bank. You can say, “Why don’t you run my credit and see what you can offer me” and then see if it’s better than what your bank/credit union can give you. They also might test you with a high APR, even if you qualify for a lower APR (just to see if you’ll take it), and might even use details of your credit report against you...

10) If you have a trade in, they will also try to make a profit from not giving you enough $$ for your old car. Get a price quote from Carmax and check the Kelly Blue Book value beforehand to see if they’re giving you a good price. If it’s not good enough, you might want to consider walking away from the dealership and just selling to Carmax. Because of online transparency and easy access to prices of cars, they will try to make money in other areas OTHER THAN the car price, and this is one of them. 

11) After you’ve settled on the price of the car and they’ve run your credit, you’ll be moved from the salesman to the finance office...where you’ll be signing contracts and discussing other add-ons, (warranties, insurances, protections etc.) When you’re in the finance office, DONT BUY ANY ADD ONS THE DAY YOU BUY YOUR CAR. If you decide to, research a good price for what they offer you. You can call the dealership and ask to speak to the finance manager ahead of time and ask what additional items you may be offered. These might be paint protection, tire protection, extended warranties, gap insurance etc. When they offer these things to you, they are often overpriced. You can also get these later, or get these elsewhere for a better price. Research ahead of time to see what’s right for you and don’t try to figure it out unprepared because they will try to convince you. 

That concludes my numbered dealership tips! I probably left some stuff out, so please continue to do your research.

This podcast episode from This American Life, 129 Cars, illustrates the importance of using timing and desperation on the part of salespeople to your advantage. This is a longer listen, over an hour long, but it follows salespeople during their work day as they try to meet their monthly quota in order to reach their sales bonus. Towards the end of the month can be an ideal buying time because dealerships may be willing to take a loss or make no commission from a sale because if they’re able to reach their quota, they will either...not be fired, or they may receive a sizeable bonus. Overall, TIMING can be key in getting a good deal. Dealerships also have yearly sales quotas, so if you can wait, you may be able to get a better deal on a car towards the end of the year. 

As well, I recommend a Monday/weekday since dealerships are least busy during this time. AND! If you need to contact your bank, it might be impossible on the weekend. Because of coronavirus, operating hours for banks/credit unions have been shortened so if you need to finalize some financing details or ask your bank/credit union questions, make sure you’re able to do so when needed! I ran into this problem and was delayed because my credit union was closing early. 

One last tip! You also will also need to insure this new car so call your car insurance carrier and let them know you’re car shopping and they can help you add the new car to your current policy, or change your current insurance. You car insurance might increase or decrease with the addition of a new car. And if you’re getting a car with a higher value, you might want to consider adding more coverage to your current coverage. The dealership might give you free temporary insurance so you can drive the car off the lot with coverage. When I called my insurance carrier to add this new car onto my policy, it didn’t take effect until midnight that night so the dealership gave me temporary insurance just in case something happened on the drive home. You legally do need insurance to drive it off the lot or if you’ve never been insured before. So if you’re currently on somebody else’s policy, get some quotes from different insurance carriers and try to get an idea of the future cost.

Those are all my tips! This took a lot longer than I thought, heh heh, but I seriously hope this helps someone because buying a car is a HUGE DEAL and there’s so much potential to get taken advantage of due to the lack of transparency!!! There’s a lot more I could have covered so I encourage you to take more time to do more research! And good luck if you plan on buying a car soon!

[writr4luvrs]

[♡]

Request: Rhys and reader reunite years after break up

Note: This is just part one, I really enjoyed writing this btw.

Look what your doing to me - BANKS, Francis and the Lights

Rhys Strongfork/Reader

Part |

After Helios fell from the sky, you and other refugee Hyperion employees were left on Pandora to become a community, bandits, or end up being some wild creatures meal. You didn't know Rhys until you found out he was the cause for Helios' fall and some no name that managed and help plan to fight a vault guardian and collect the treasures it protected. Easily, you were impressed and with confidence, you were able to talk to him. He spoke about rebuilding the Atlas brand, helping Hyperion refugees, and get the hell off Pandora, that was enough for you.

While Rhys rebuilt Atlas, you took the time to learn to use various weaponry, hunt the ruthless bandits and creatures of Pandora, and despite losing some of its citizens, the Hyperion refugee camp was improving. And with busy schedules and months passing, you and the business man got to spend what quiet moments you could with each other. "Y'know..." you begin, strolling to sit by Rhys one night as he cautiously poked a low fire. "All the big talk of Atlas and all, I hadn't thought a pair of business slacks would be able to build a community like this."

"Thanks, you know, I didnt think even Hyperion workers would last this long, usually caring about the dust on their snake skin shoes or worried about the lack of gel in their hair. But its good." You laughed at him, he was a complete dork. "What?" he scowls at you, small smile on his face. "What's funny?"

"Usually Hyperion are big talkers with lack of strategy and more and of fucking over their friends." You air quote 'friends.'

"Did you doubt me?"

"I did, ambition is nice until the person doesnt know what they're doing."

"I- haha, know everything, I know what I'm doing. Everything...that I'm...doing, I mean." You snicker at him.

"There's the Hyperion cockiness."

"Seriously, Hyperion was the worst,"

"Absolutely."

"But they," he referred to the refugees. "Are better than they let on and has great potential that Hyperion didnt let them explore and show. Atlas is gonna be bigger than that." You nod, yeah, he was much cuter than you initially thought.

"Deep."

"Yeah." he chuckles.

"You're exactly what they need, a chance is all anyone ask... don't let that get to your head."

"Pfft...it's not like I'm Jack...or...whatever. "

"You've got the handsome bit down."

"Haha, yeah..." he smiles. "Oh!" he blinks, his smile becoming shy in realization. "And you've got the killing skills and attractiveness and good looking and I dont...know how to flirt, wow, is it, um... Yeah. I'll stop talking."

"Yeah," you peck him on the cheek before standing to leave. "Keep at it, Handsome Rhys."

"Oh, god. Don't call me that."

In time, Rhys had actually done it. He was able to influence sponsors to help the manufacturer, to help get a ship built and was able to blast off Pandora. You accompanied him to various Eden planets, Atlas was gainingtraction and workers, and best of all customers. Rhys was getting more paperwork than he could handle, becoming more busy and eventually sent a request for a vault hunter Zer0 to aid him. He was becoming an influencer himself, working his ass off. The sweet messages he'd send you, the dates the two of you would go on, the rants you two would have had almost seen to vanished. You missed being around him and having chats instead of being told that he had to talk later, which was understandable the first few weeks only for it to be routine and soon ending up with no reply. He spoke highly of you and you were flattered but it soon felt like nothing when you rarely had the chance to see him. You felt years of commiting to him were being thrown away.

You began show up to his office on Promethea. "I have a call to take." "I have to go to a meeting." "Too much work to do."

"Are you even listening to me, Rhys?" you accidentally raised your voice, Zer0, of course, his best bro couldn't even give you two alone time.

"Look, I'm sorry, I really am-"

"But I just don't have time!" You finished for him. "I have to go to the Eos solar system and blah blah blah Greek names of whatever bullshit business deals. You never make time, let alone a echo, Rhys! I know work is important but I have been patient- and for hell sake Zer0 can you please get out?!" Understandably, Zer0 did leave.

Rhys shut down the holograms and placed his echo away. "You dont even make time for me anymore, do you even see what you're doing to me?" You sit yourself in a chair.

"No, I- I know." He walks from behind his desk to be closer to you. He wanted to hug and hold you but it's almost like he didnt know anymore, instead he kneels on the floor. "I'm sorry, I should've realized what I was doing, I'm sorry. I want us to work, I really do."

"I've tried so much, Rhys."

"Yes, I know. And I'm sorry. I love you okay, I'm going to be better and put more effort into us. I promise... I-"

"Rhys..." You knew he meant it, he wasn't a liar. "That's why this is so hard..." You were trying so hard not cry but your voice only became raspy and your face more heated.

"What?" You paused.

"We're done." You simply say before standing, the stood with you, trying to protest but you already had escaped into the elevator.

[greg-the-goose]

Merthur Fanfic Idea

Okay so I'm writing out this fanfic idea here cos to be perfectly honest I'll probably never get around to actually writing it.

So the idea is that after the "Servant of Two Masters" episode Leon approaches Merlin and offers to help him learn some basic fighting and weapons handling. Leon came up with the idea after seeing Merlin in the armory with the cross bow. (I really need some more Leon and Merlin friendship in my life) After almost losing Merlin and more importantly seeing what almost losing Merlin did to Arthur, Leon felt that it would be good to teach Merlin some way of defense.

At first Merlin totally brushes him off saying hes fine (after the initial shock of learning he tried to kill Arthur with a crossbow) but that he'll keep the offer in mind. The more that Merlin thinks of it though the more he thinks that learning some form of defense would be good. After all he could've better escaped Morgana or not have been injured in the first place had he a better way to defend himself openly. If he knew more basics he could also use his magic in closer situations and be able to better excuse it away. At the very least help with his reaction time and battle sense.

Merlin informs Gauis (who agrees) and approaches Leon privately to take him up on his offer, but asks that Leon not inform Arthur or anyone else of what they're doing. Reason being Merlin doesnt want his training and soon to be improved skills to be common knowledge. (He also doesnt want Arthur to know until he has at least some skills and he'd rather not be beat down too hard before learning anything) Leon reluctantly agrees but asks what they should tell Arthur should he ask where the both of them are going. Merlin's answer is to tell Arthur that hes teaching Leon poetry. Leon is very confused and tries to delicately suggest that they wouldn't want Arthur to think they're "learning poetry" (Leon of course thinking that poetry is some kind of euphemism) besides if Arthur should ask, Leon has no knowledge of poetry and he suggests that Merlin doesn't actually either. Merlin then proves him wrong and recites several heartfelt, well worded poems (his own) by memory to Leon. That's enough for Leon to agree to the plan, amending that they inform Arthur once Merlin feels comfortable enough for Arthur to take over his training.

From there it's a ridiculous balancing act for Merlin doing chores for Gauis and Arthur, saving the day and training with Leon. Merlin is constantly exhausted but is making some basic improvements though they've yet to find a weapon that suits him and won't take him years to get a handle on. Arthur becomes extremely suspicious and jealous of Merlin's divided attention and adds to his chores. Arthur also tries to call Merlin out on the poetry cover one morning while Merlin is serving him and Gwen breakfast. This ends in Merlin reciting a well written, heart wrenching poem (again that he wrote) and essentially stuns Arthur into silence. (Merlin does teach Leon some of the basics of poetry to keep up the ruse)

Their private lessons dont stay that way for long as each of the knights slowly discover Merlin's secret training. Each one deciding to help keep up the ruse and help train Merlin. Soon almost all of Arthur's closest knights are taking "poetry lessons" from Merlin. Merlin is still having problems finding a weapon that's a good fit for him. Eventually the knights settle on two long dueling daggers and a set of throwing knives. These fit well with Merlin's agility and speed and help to make up for what he lacks in strength and bulk. (They also provide Merlin with a weapon that he can easily aid with magic without notice)

After that Merlin's training progresses well but it comes to a point where the knights cannot further his training as none of them are that well practiced with daggers. The only person who could train Merlin now is Arthur. Arthur however is in a bit of a mood. After having been ignored by his manservant and abandoned by his knights for "poetry" hes in a less than agreeable mood. Arthur feels hurt and more than a little jealous that Merlin has seemingly turned away from him in favor of his knights. After being so worried that he'd lost Merlin to the bandits he feels that hes maybe lost Merlin after all and hes not quite sure what hes done to deserve it. Arthur starts to unintentionally distance himself from Gwen but when confronted he confides in her his feelings. Gwen sees what's up and starts gently trying to help Arthur realize what his feelings are and where his true affection lies. (Arthur is thick though and doesnt get it) Gwen realizing where all of this is headed (knowing already how Merlin feels based on his poems) breaks things off with Arthur, promising to be his friend and always support him but ending their romantic relationship. This however pushes Arthur farther into emotional distress and confusion. Merlin for his part is so focused on balancing his chaotic life and now keeping yet another secret that he fails to see Arthur's mood declining.

Arthur does find out though, whether by accident or from his knights and this is his breaking point. Arthur is furious with his knights and Merlin (but mostly Merlin) that they kept this from him. Much of Arthur's anger though comes from the thought that Merlin didnt trust him enough to come to him for training and even more than that that Merlin felt the need to seek out training, as if he didnt trust Arthur to protect him. Arthur starts training Merlin but uses the training as an outlet for frustration. Eventually the tension builds enough that they start hashing it out through arguing. Arthur expresses that Merlin obviously didnt trust him enough to protect him and that this is because Arthur failed to bring him home safely from the bandit attack. Merlin in turn tells Arthur that that's not the case at all. That Merlin had to learn to protect himself so that he can keep Arthur safe. He tells Arthur that the only reason Arthur was almost caught by the bandits was because Merlin let himself get injured. He tells Arthur that hes doing this not so that he can protect himself but so he can keep Arthur from getting hurt for his sake. So that he can make sure that he can keep Arthur safe in anyway he can because when it comes down to it he cant lose Arthur especially not because he couldn't keep himself from getting injured. After essentially confessing that he believes all of this to be his fault and that he is only learning to defend himself not because he doesnt trust Arthur to protect him or because hes worried about his own well being but because he wants to keep Arthur safe above anything else Merlin leaves essentially ending the argument. Arthur has a little pouty moment and then thinks over everything. Almost losing Merlin. The feeling he felt when they found him. The jealousy and hurt when Merlin seemed to be confiding in his knights above him. The emotions evoked by hearing Merlin's poetry. Gwen's prodding and gentle suggestions that there was someone else who held more of his heart and affections. He has a giant aha moment and then remembers that hes an emotionally stunted rock and he has no idea where to go from here or if Merlin feels the same. (spoiler he does) Things remain awkward and tense between the two of them and the knights become very worried. They eventually confront Arthur and soon discover what really is causing this tension and trouble between the two. After each one of them talks Arthur through his feelings and how and why he feels the way he does and where things have gone wonky Arthur starts to accept and better understand what he now feels for his manservant and what hes probably felt for his manservant all along. He still has the social skills of a burnt potato though so things remain tense between him and Merlin.

Things change when they are out on a patrol and are attacked by bandits (surprise) After his realization Arthur is even more worried and aware of Merlin during the battle. Merlin however has been trained well and keeps on fighting off bandits only to turn around and save Arthur or yell at him for being distracted. Arthur still cant seem to focus and ends up almost being killed. Merlin of course had managed to jump in the way just in time and gets injured. They win the battle and Arthur freaks out having indirectly caused Merlin's injury by focusing on protecting him too much. They return to Camelot and rush Merlin to Gauis who bandages him up and orders he rest. The wound is non fatal but there is chance of fever and infection not to mention it's just generally pretty painful.

Arthur stays with Merlin and they finally have a real talk like the adults that they're supposed to be. Arthur apologizes for not trusting Merlin to take care of himself in a fight and Merlin apologizes for keeping this from him. They both also apologize for what they feel was "letting the other down". Arthur asks to hear the poem that Merlin recited for him at breakfast those months ago again. Merlin complies and Arthur asks who it is that Merlin loves so dearly. Because love is written so deeply into every word that theres really nothing else it could be. Merlin essentially implies that its obvious and honestly after their talk and everything that has happened there should be no way that Arthur cant know who it is that it's about. Arthur takes a leap of faith and lightly and carefully holds and then kisses Merlin. And ta da! Happy ending!

That's essentially it other than some minor moments where Merlin kicks serious butt with his newly acquired knife skills. I dont know if I would add a magic reveal in this one but I would definitely want one before they became an actual couple.

If I did write this (which we've already established probably wont happen) I would want to write a short sequel where Merlin and Arthur have essentially confessed to each other but Merlin for some reason unknown to Arthur doesnt want to start a relationship. Merlin tells Arthur that there are some things that Arthur doesnt know about him yet and that he can't yet reveal to him. He makes it clear that he loves Arthur and wants to be with him more than anything else but he won't do it while he still has parts of his life hidden from Arthur. There would of course be a cool scene added where theres an assassin who comes to kill Arthur at a banquet only to be taken down by one of Merlin's throwing knives before anyone else has a chance to react. The assassin though is part of a bigger plot to kill Arthur and take over Camelot (using magic cos honestly what else) Merlin saves the day and establishes that hes a ridiculously powerful warlock who is just as ridiculously loyal to his king and willing lives in the shadows underappreciated and looked down on. Which is all pretty standard except these days Arthur is (and let's himself be) more aware of Merlin and what hes doing and he ends up witnessing everything. They have a huge argument/ confrontation that ends with Arthur in awe of Merlin's love and loyalty. (Everything from no credit and no reward to looking like and being assumed an idiot to lowering himself to mastering a manner of defense on top of everything else he already does just to make sure Arthur remains safe) Then they get their happy ending and finally get together-together.

[yeetwinchester2]

Little Sister

Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x sister!reader(no incest), mention of Sam x sister!reader(no incest)

Summary: The Winchesters’ little sister feels like a burden and Dean comforts her.

Warnings: Crying(should that be considered a warning???), sadness, a bit of angst , thought of being a burden, i think thats it (let me know if there’s anything else I should include in the warnings)

Requested: yes/no

A/n: This is the first fic I’ve written, so bare with me if its a bit cringe worthy. It would also be a tremendous help if you were able to give me a little bit of feedback on how I can improve. Also, check out the bottom of the post and send requests!!! Thanks and ily! 🖤💚🖤

Tears flowed down your cheeks as you walked into the old, dirty motel you and your brothers were staying in. The three of you usually try to make the sleeping situation work. The boys usually get the beds and you have to sleep in the dirty, smelly, stained couch. But you don’t always mind. In fact, you almost never care. As long as your brothers are somewhat content, you are too.

Like you expected, they weren’t there. You know they weren’t at a bar because its only 3:27pm, so you assumed they were doing their usual routine. Dean questions the victim(s) and witness(es) while Sam is either with Dean or doing research in a nearby library.

You sat at the table and pulled out your binder and textbook to start on some of the homework your science teacher assigned. You started to work, but also started to struggle. You couldn’t focus. Your mind was blank. No thoughts, no feelings, no emotions, nothing. Just emptiness. You knew what this was, but your brothers didn’t. You knew you had some kind of depression and anxiety, not as bad as it could be, but its not something that you think will just pass in a few days, or even weeks. No… this has been with you for probably about 6 months and your brothers don’t suspect a thing. You want to keep it that way too. You don’t want to have to be even more of a burden and have your brothers worry even more, so you kept quiet. You wiped away your tears and sat up straight, and attempted to finish your work.

“Oh hey, y/n.” Dean said, walking into the motel room in his FBI suit.

“Hey” you mumbled back, not wanted to talk.

“You okay, bug?” He said with concern in his voice.

“Yeah, just tired.” You used the lie that everyone uses, not putting in any effort to make up a different lie.

“You always say that. That’s not true is it? You’re not actually tired, are you?” Crap… he’s catching on…

“Uhh, no, I’m really just tired. I swear.” Now your anxiety was coming into play. You don’t know how he’d act if he found out.

“Don’t lie to me. I know something’s wrong. There’s been something off about you for a while now. You know you can talk to me and Sam, right? We’re here for you.”

“Yeah, I know I can talk to y'all, but it’s hard to sometimes.” I’m just gonna get it over with and tell him. What could go wrong, right?

“I know what you mean. When I got out of Hell, I refused to talk about it. But then Sam reminded me that we’re family and we’re here to take care of each other. So, y/n, please tell me what’s going on.”

“You really want to know what’s upsetting me?”

“Yeah, I really do. I wanna make sure that you’re okay.”

“I think I’m a burden to you and Sammy. I feel like I’m just in the way. You always worry about me and you take care of me and make sure I’m getting good grades and eating and getting sleep but you shouldn’t have to. You shouldn’t have to worry about me. I don’t matter. Not like you two do. You two have saved the world more times than I can count and I know that you’ll continue to do so until you breathe your final breath. But me, I don’t do anything. I sit here, in the motel room doing homework or something that has absolutely nothing to do with the case.” You were almost sobbing by now, while Dean watched you rant with tears in his green eyes.

“Y/n… that’s not true. None of th-” He started to talk, but you cut him off.

“No! Don’t lie to me! Don’t pity me and tell me that it’s not true when you know it is!” You hated being pitied. It made you feel worse about yourself.

“Y/n! Calm down and let me talk.” You knew he only yelled to get you to calm down, so you weren’t worried that he was mad.

“O-okay.” You wiped your tears with your sleeve and and tried to control you breathing as both of you walk over and sit on one of the beds. Dean wraps his arm around, you and you feel of his tears land on the top of your head. He’s crying… because he cares.

“Y/n, you are not a burden. Not even close. I think I can say that you are the best thing that has ever happened to both me and Sam, okay? We worry about you because we want what’s best for you. We make sure you get good grades so that you can go to college and do something with your life. If Sammy was here, I know he’d tell you the same exact thing. And believe it or not, me and Sammy have talked about it. You going to a good school and everything.”

You look up at him when he said this. “Really?”

“Yeah, we both agreed that we want you to get through highschool and go to a good college. We want you to get a good job, find a guy that we approve of, and mabye even have a couple kids. We want you to get out of this life y/n. That’s why we never ask you to go on hunts or help with a case, because we dont want you to get even the slightest bit involved more than you already are. You deserve better than this, y/n.”

You shocked to say the least. You always thought that they didn’t want you around, kr didn’t want your help, but they just wanted better for you. If you were being honest, everything Dean just told sounds like Heaven to most hunters, but you’re a Winchester, so you’re not ‘most hunters.’ You would enjoy being out of this hunting life, but you know it won’t happen. Again, you’re a Winchester, so no matter what you do or where you go, something will follow. Knowing this, you make a sudden decision.

“Dean, we both know that won’t be possible. Trouble follows us wherever we go and no matter what we do, we wouldn’t be able to get them to leave us alone. It sounds lovely, having an apple pie life, but it won’t happen. Instead, I want to help. I want to help save the world with you guys. I want to train, to do research, and to go on hunts with y'all.”

Dean looks at you with sad eyes, knowing tjat you’re right. You won’t be able to have such luxury because of what you do and what your father dragged the three (more like four but they forgot Adam ) of you into.

“You’re right, but we just want what’s best for you. We want to make sure that you stay safe at all times. We want you to be protected.”

“I know, Dean. That’s why you and Sammy can train me, and show to do things. I can start by helping Sam with research and you can teach me how to you a pistol and a rifle, and we’ll start out with the little things. Then, eventually, I’ll be able to go on hunts with y'all.”

“I can’t make any promises, ans don’t get too excited, but I can talk to Sam and see what he thinks about your little plan. I don’t thinks it’s that bad of an idea, but me and Sammy have to agree, okay?”

You don’t have much to say anymore due to the fact that you just let everything that you kept bottled up for a while out, so you simply say “Thank you” and hug him tighter than you have in a while, and bury you face into his neck, feeling safe in your brother’s arms.

THE END

Please send requests!!! thank you for reading and enjoy your day/night!

[thatsenoughforme]

its okay to vent the bad thoughts out sometimes!

I truly try to stay positive about everything. I can hold things in for so long but eventually it just explodes! A person can only take so much! We are all human no one is better than anyone! BUT our actions prove how much we care about others and though words should never hurt us they can make a difference in the actions we make!

For four years i have held in my thoughts, tried to take all the crap thrown at me and turn it into gold haha.... well wake up me! Crap is what it is! its not going to be a brick of gold no matter how much i wish for it!

I am weak. I easily want to cater to my man and do whatever to make him happy. I will do anything to support him, keep my mouth shut, turn into a slave, washing his feet while i suck his dick in the shower. Make him dinner, pour shots all night playing poker online, while he talks crap to everyone and show off my titties whenever he asks me too. Wake up and take him to work, pick him up no matter how far away he is. or what time of night when he has ignored me for months, i get a call at 3 am and there i am! Helping get you out of jail, and pay all your fines and classes for domstic abuse, all while your cheating on me with your kids mother that the classes were for! I can go on and on of the things i have done to prove my love, commitment, loyalty, given up so much to cater to his insecurities. Get yelled at for everything i do. Not to mention the kids thats another story! I am never enough!!!

I admit i have done wrong in life, i had a what i call single lady time when i was with a few more people than i probably should have, i dont consider myself a whore like many say i am! and while i dont care what people say about me that dont know me, it does hurt when the one who claims he loves you repeats this to you daily.

Dirty stinky whore, nasty fish cunt, stupid ass retarded mother fucker, gross dirty bitch, fat ass nasty whore, trashy cunt, rooster bc any cock will do, homey hopper, toilet seat, weirdo, stinky pussy slut, worse than the hookers down on 3rd street, diseased STD clamydia pussy, lying ass sneaky slut whore, stupid bitch! loser, worthless, good for nuthing but sucking dick, easy, weak....i can go on and on...daily...everyday i hear every since one of these things said to me.

We can fall asleep together and if i get up to go to the bathroom, or wake up before him and get out of the bed to do anything, clean, eat, watch tv downstairs so he can sleep, i am a cheating whore! if i shower and dont call him or text him a picture than i only showered bc i was cheating. When we shower i wash his whole body head to toes to butt hole to feet while im sucking his dick. I have asked to shower for 3 days before bc its already been about 3 days since we showered last! sit aorund have sex all day long for 4 days no shower and hello obvioulsy we stink!! not just me!!

There were some good times, sex always good. But other than that we did have a few fun times together. I do like his fun mean side, but there is a limit! NO one likes to be told they are a nasty worthless whore 24/7, 365 days a year! So i cant say i let this go on so long for no reason. In my head i was in love, i wanted to do everything to make both of ourlives better so we could be together. But at the end of the day i always felt like not only have i given up everything and only made myself worse while you are improving, i am also being verbal beat down every day!! made to belive i am not worth anything. i am too stupid to do anything.

Now after four years you have decided to try and be a little nicer. SO i feel bad for wanting to break up...im trying to hold on and see if this can get better. But its not....You may have stopped hitting me as often or as severe, but you quit your job once again, and at the worst time ever! Made sure to beat me down on my birthday, and promise me empty promises to make up for it. and you want me to be the bigger person and let your whole family over for your kids birthday. When i had to meet my mom at the curb so she could give me her present. You broke my phone on my face so i couldnt even see if i do have friends that care about me on my birthday, and i had to embarrisingly text my family to say this is my temporary number so they could even say happy birthday to me! I dont have a job bc you tell me in a whore, and whole i know i am not and i am great at my jb. I worked hard put my self thru school, while it may not have been for a long time, i still had to get my small child to his sgrandmas every morning at 430 to get to school on time, i do have a good family to support me but that doesnt mean i still had to put the work in. Secluded myself for years to work on my mental health and build a career for myself. Making $60 plus an hour. I gave it all up bc you wanted me too. Bc i wanted to be with you and i thought that us fighting about my job everyday and me being told im a whore everyday wasnt going to work. So i gave it up, started doordashing smh and even tho you can potentially make money doing that it was fun, but how depressing to just give up yor carreer to deliver food! and you still told me everyday that i was lying and cheating instead f doordashing.

I can sit here and try and blame you for the everything, but i know that i had a choice to leave this relationship whenever i wanted. I decided to stay and hope that things would get better. I hoped that you would not only see the good i was doing and the endless amount of time i was willing to give to change myself to be who yo uwanted me to be. Neglecting my family that only wanted to be part of ourlives too, meet you and your kids and we all just wanted to care about you. You were unable to see that i am not better than you, i just wanted better for you. You have treated me with endless amounts of disrespect, embarrassed me in public, and tore me back down mentally worse than i was before, when you knew what i have been through in the first place. I also knew who you were and i decided to look past that and see only the you that you showed and gave to me, I turned my head to almost everything you did to me.

Now that i have decided to stand up for myself and call you out everytime you hurt me, mentally physically, emotionally, materially. You not only tell me im wrong to do so and i need to learn my place, You have cowardly tried to be the better person. But letting me speak my mind and then telling me calmly that i am a nasty whore still. Just because you have shut your mouth a little more doesnt mean you have tired to help, or make anything better. Saying im sorry everyday doesnt help me feel better. You make me feel bad for wanting to be treated better. I dont need im sorry everyday, i need you to stop doing the things your saying sorry for. See me for the good like i said and realize my intentions were always true to you yur kids your family your job your friends.

Small things to show me you care. Like a kiss when i get home, a small touch when you pass by me in the kitchen. Tell me in pretty, it might sounds stupid but it matters! I know i didnt touch you or kiss you or treat you the way i wanted to the past few week. But i was tired of being the better person, i was tired of turning my cheek to what you did to me to hug you and kiss your body while you rarely touched me back. Too occupied on your phone to every see me or give me your full attention. Unless of course i was sucking your dick or letting you fuck me in all my holes. smh you know what thats from. throw me off when your done and right back to the dirty worthless whore i am.

I am better than your words, i am better than the way you see me. I am better than what you tell your kids about me, and how confusing for them when they tell me how much fun they have with me. Bc i am nice to them!! Not only am i enough but so is my son. We arent better than anyone but we treat everyone with respect and that doesnt make us a pussy!!!

And while i know this is only a small portion of my side of the story, i am able to admit my flaws and any wrong i did in this relationship. I am not willing to admit that i am the reason it failed! Bc i was willing to trying and save this no matter what it took. I knew that once i put my foot down you would give up on me. You cant hear your flaws and fix them, you hear your flaws and blame them on everyone else and never try to fix it. pointing out every flaw in everyone around you instead of just being happy with yourself and growing and building a loving house like i was trying.

I have had enough, I have given enough, i am enough!!!!!!

[asklynden]

My dad is abusing me part 4

I can’t hardly believe what’s happened in recent events. My dad phoned me, so naturally I pretended to not be here and did not asnwer. He then sent me a txt message asking me to come over so I could sort out my suit. A suit for what? He’d decided I was going to his wedding as an usher. Didn’t even ask first. And he knows I have speaking problems so, an usher? Is he senile already??

Anyway I told him no, I told my sister too who was nosey enough to ask. I told me sis I couldnt go because I am an alcoholic. I’m not, but it felt like a good reason. I couldnt do that with my dad, giving him something to lecture me about? No thanks. So I just said I’d considered it and it wouldn’t work out.

Then my youngest bro who lives with my dad begins chatting with me. We talk and he’s doing well. The wedding comes up and we talk about it. I eventually bring up some issues I have, like how my partner is never invited, which kinda seems like there’s some prejudice going on. Apparantly my dad is just dum and thought my partner was just “a friend”. It doesn’t help that it’s not easy to explain my relationship with them. But we’re family without a doubt, and I love the heck out of them. But that’s enough about that, this post is meant to be about bad people, so back to my dad...

He started to seem less bad, and more stupid as things went along. Eventually the main topic came up. My dad owes me £3000. He’s got spending problems, so even though he has a very good job, he never has any money. I am the opposite of him in so many ways. I’d get money in a card from my grandparents to spend on what I want for my birthday and such. I never spent that money. I saved it. I was a very boring child. I then got a job at an Amazon warehouse. And yes it’s as bad as the rumors say. But not the first week. That first week they make it so easy that it’s actually fun. Then they make it harder and harder until it’s not doable anymore... Yeah you can just look up other people’s stories on that. It was hell. And deserves it’s own post. My dad is only relevant to the day I got fired.

That story, to keep it short went like this: I called in sick, because, I was sick. At about noon I got up out of bed to have something to eat and drink, and felt a bit better. My dad sees me and forces me into the car and drives me to my workplace. I don’t have a choice. I get in and walk right into my boss. I have never forgotten the look he gave me. “So you think you can just come and go when you want do you?” he asked me. What kind of person calls in sick and then shows up late instead? It looked to him like I just didn’t want to go in so early. It was because of that moment that my scanner never got upgraded like everyone elses did. I was told not to worry about the extra training session. I didn’t realise how clear it was at the time that this was the moment they decided to fire me. They gave me only a week after that day i think to keep working, all the while talking bad about my performance and how I needed to improve or else.

Sorry for that detour, but my dad got me fired from that job. And he’s never once helped me get a job before or since. But I had earned myself a nice amount of cash over these years. I earned a nice sum. My dad had many moments where he struggled. But I knew he was a bad spending since he bankrupt us back when he was living with my mum. It was cars that did it.

I don’t think he ever asked me for money. Instead it was just an “I’m sorry”. Naturally I said “I can lend you some money”. I don’t know if i fell for the bait, or if he really didn’t expect this. But I lent him money, and he promised he would pay me back. He was very grateful and aksed that I not tell anyone about this, since he’d feel so ashamed to have to borrow from his son. So, I kept it secret.

As time went on more things happened. His car had troubles and needed to be fixed, so I lent more. He couldnt pay the phone bill, so I lent more. He needed eggs for dinner, so I went out and paid for them. With the food I was always the one he sent to go buy it, and I’d often pay for it too, but he was meant to pay me back whatever it ended up being afterwords. I wrote this amount down, and I didn’t mind if a few were forgotten or he didn’t have the money at the time. I just kept the recipt for next time. These began to build up really badly. And before I knew it, he owed me over £3000. He never paid any of it back. Not until I moved out and tried to get him to.

So after I did leave, something I got no help with from him, because... Well I did it in secret. I saw a chance to get away from him and took it. Thank GOD I did. I was deeply depressed and my dad was against me taking anti-depressants. I was already on some, but had been calling them sleeping tablets to stop him from getting angry. Technically, they do make you drowsy, so it wasn’t quite a lie. But they did nothing for my depression. Which was at it’s breaking point. I moved out to a place only 10 minutes drive away. I regret being so scared to move further away. But this was my first time on my own. And I’ve got a few difficulties too that made it scarier.

During this time I struggled with rent far worse than i imagined. I asked my dad to help and he’d pull out £20 or one time £80 to help. I got whatever was in his pocket. And then one month he says “Don’t ask me for anymore money, not until October. I have it already all tied up in other things, sorry.” and so I stopped asked. October came, which was 4 months or more from then. And I forgot totally at this point to bring it up again. And so for another year I didn’t ask. And then another year. And in all that time he never once offered to pay me back. Never since this payment began growing did he ever offer to pay me back. He did offer to take me on holiday and said I could go for free, but, he’d not owe me anything anymore. It was a tempting deal, but I didn’t really like France that much. I said no.

Time went on and I heard abotu him going on holiday more and more, and buying new things, more cars. He had money to spare afterall, but still offered me nothing. Eventually our landlord decided to raise our rent by £100 a month. We were already overpaying for that crappy little place, and it wasn’t a case of “should we?” but “can we?”. And we could not. Oh “we” by the way is my roomate. The “partner” I mentioned earlier. So we had to move, and found a place 2/3 the cost and 3/2 the size much further away. It was a fantastic deal and we moved in.

My dad helped us move, by costing us around £1000. Because he did things cheaply, and told us to do things we werent allowed to do and got us fined. That needs it’s own post too. The damage he cause us is not something I added to the amount he owes though. I chose to just, not bring up that day at all.

So in our new place, doing well. Months of joy, when finally our old landlord tells us he’s not giving us our deposit back, but he also wants MORE money for damages. I didn’t even know this was legal to do. He took the deposit, and then a second amount the same. My mum had to come in and haggle for us because we were pretty much in tears over this. She saved us, and paid a lot of it for me. She expected my dad to do the same and save me, because this shock cost came out of nowhere and we were not ready. I dont have the amount on hand, but I recall I had to pay £800 myself, my mum paying more than that. £1500? £2000?

Anyway I ask my dad. Not to pay back what he owes, but to save me from seriously legal troubles. He did not help.

Over the next YEAR I was able to pay my mum back all that I owed her for bailing me out. And now I’m back on my feet, and could survive a shock payment if one somehow appeared. But I think I’m safe from that happening again. I hadn’t even thought about the money my dad owes me for ages now.

But this wedding, and talking to my little bro (yes finally back to the original topic) it came up. And my bro was like “Oh well I can talk to him and get that sorted. I was chuffed and said I’d go to the wedding. My dad is honestly fun to be around when it comes to parties. Well, as long as he’s not sober to be more precise. He was sober at one party, and was a huge killjoy. But it’s his wedding, he’s not gonna be a downer there! I was getting excited to see my whole family there, and have a great time and-

“Oh hey, your dad says he doesnt owe you that anymore.” What? Yeah what I got was a big load of messages from my bro telling me my dad didn’t think he owed me anymore because of things he’d done for me previously. Like some early holidays we went on. He also claimed to have “helped with rent” which was a very confusing thing to read. As if he was doing it periodically instead of the 3 times he did it.

Sadly this got me into venting a bit at how unreasonable it all was. I lost my cool. But I dont regret what i said. I imagined he’d go back and tell my dad and it’d get straightened out. I explained he did not help with rent nor did I owe him for any holidays, since the one time he asked me to pay, I declined.

I get a reply, my bro calls me entitled. Says so what if I paid for food and phone I used that stuff so I should pay for it. I’m in disbelief. He’s my dad, he provides for me. Besides you don’t tell someone afterwords “Oh you have to pay for those years of me helping you out”. That’s what pimps do. Other people probably do that too but I only saw it with pimps in the shows I watch.

So more ranting back that this was nuts, and that I just want my money back. I also lay into my dad’s spending habits, how he always has cash to burn, but never any for me. Fuck sake this wedding he’s having is costing him a hell of a lot more than £3000! Sadly this stuff I tell him is what he focuses on, saying my dad isn’t a bad spender cause he always buys cheap... yeah don’t I know it. Every birthday and Christmas I get a foreign or second hand phone or computer that breaks not long after. He’s a computer.. something. He gets this stuff dirt cheap thanks to his job. I couldnt really argue againt my bro there, but no way is that a positive.

But in al lthis arguing, it’s clear that my little bro has some bizarre ideas in his head if he thinks you can wave away owed money by being nice enough to someone. And he thinks me living with my dad is him being nice. But uh, that’s called being a parent, and it’s require by law. I wasn’t some friend staying there, I wasn’t a roomate. I was living in my dad’s house as his son. Jesus my lil bro is meant to be smart but what a fucking... Oh. He’s paying rent and food costs and all sorts. My dad’s gotten him paying for everything. He actually thinks this is normal. There is no low my dad wont sink to.

I can’t be mad at my bro, but it’s clear now that my dad plans on not paying me back. That’s theft. So, what should I do? I don’t want revenge, I don’t want to cost him anything, and I don’t want to take this to court because I know that could cost me. I’ll give it more time. But I hope he looks at my empty chair whilst he’s getting married and knows this is his fault I’m not there.

[storyofsass]

dear 13 year old me,

hi love. its you from the future. do you know how much i want to reach over and hold your face in my hands? i wish i could.

you have so much coming for you. its all going to feel like too much at times. but oh, darling, life gets so good sometimes. im so excited for you to see it.

you learn so much about who you are and who you have been. you overcome so much in such a short period of time and you are so proud of yourself.

you find the best friends in the whole wide world. you'll wonder how you were ever living without them. that girl with the striking highlighter and tons of hoodies? pay attention to her, she's very important. and the girl you were paired with for that tap dance when you were 11? shes so special, youll see.

you'll fall out with a few people but thats alright. theres a couple people you swear youll never speak to again that will become some of your closest friends once more. those drives to dunkin donuts will be so worth the times where you're angry with her, i promise.

you're gay! you are a lesbian! youre gonna question yourself so so so much, but oh dear, finally finding an identity that fits will be worth every night you spend crying. mom and dad eventually find out, and youll have a panic attack, but i promise youll survive it. youre not wrong for who you love. even if sometimes it feels like theres no way you'll accept yourself.

on the note of being gay, you dated a girl from school and that was.... a time. but it made you better. you'll see. and youll feel real love a few months later because:

you have a girlfriend! theyre lovely. pink hair and all. you write so many letters and journal entries about them. you're gonna hold hands and youre never gonna be able to squish those butterflies you feel. they have the prettiest eyes youve ever seen and you write hearts around their name in your journal, the 10th journal youve had in 7 years.

you write constantly. you love it. english is your favorite subject and it shows. you fill journals upon journals, and fill boxes full of letters that you dont intend on delivering yet. your handwriting has improved by leaps and bounds all because you decided you wanted it to be pretty when you were in 10th grade. mom compliments it every time she sees it.

you have your license and a car named after one of your favorite songs! you cried when you recieved the car, youve spilled cherry slushies in it, put purple flowers in the dash vents, and screamed along to Dancing Queen by ABBA in it. its yours.

you'll be clara in the nutcracker freshman year, and youll be marzipan lead your senior year. all those hours at the studio pay off in their own ways. dont give up so easily when you get frustrated at dance, okay?

you got braces and you get them off before senior year starts and youve never felt so beautiful. your confidence shoots through the roof when you see yourself without them for the first time.

you cut your hair on your own and it turns out pretty good, even if mom didnt like it. and then you get a real haircut and take it the shortest its ever been. to your chin! woah!

it hasnt all been sunshine and rainbows, obviously. you know that already. march of 2019 is gonna suck, but a funny youtube video shown to you by your best friend will save your life in a mellow mushroom restaurant. you save your friends life because you exist and youll find out a month later and your heart will shatter and also be glued together by it. youll experience a pandemic, for god's sake.

but. all of these happy things ive mentioned will make the bad things youll experience in the next 4 years worth it, even if you think theres no goddamn way you'll be able to heal from some of it. i promise you will, you can, and you have. you do. youre still healing. you never stop healing. youd never have it any other way.

some last bits of advice:

-play around with makeup more

-smile even if you hate your teeth

-let mom take pictures of you

-always take photos of pretty flowers

much love always,

-j

[aro-aizawa]

okay so kind of vent post but update post too bc im kind of stressing and dealing with my stress in the only way i know how: ignoring it. so first off if i’ve promised you anything and haven’t spoken about it then i’m super sorry and either im working on it or im being way too perfectionist with it and it’s actively fighting me no matter what i do. so yeah. it’ll happen.....eventually im sorry. 

second thing i want to talk about is bhaf. i’ve kind of? hit a brick wall? in writing it? like i have the entirety of usj planned, mostly all neatly organised with shiny bullet points and little sentences that i want to include. but...its just not working with me? 

(also cut bc wow this went on longer than i expected oops - also to the peeps who don’t follow me because of my writing then uhh dont worry abt this i guess lmao)

its kind of feels like convincing a toddler to settle down in bed to read them a bedtime story except the toddler got hopped up on sugar earlier in the day and literally won’t sit still even for a second. so im running about the room frantically trying to catch them and put them in bed so i can read them their story and i can go to sleep. 

i mean its sorta like that but not at all. what im saying is its being unimaginably difficult. 

its been almost three weeks since i last added to chapter 14 and its killing me with stress. because lowkey i have a fear that if i stop updating for long periods of time that i’m going to lose most all my readers. aaaand that kind of stresses me because i don’t want to mess anything up with bhaf. its the first time i’ve had more than five people following the story so yeah i’ve kind of been working hard at it. 

and when i hit a wall like this it makes me angry. because i’ve hit enough walls with projects to know that this is what makes me stop working on a project for months or rather years in my old habits (though honestly my old update schedule was one 1.5k word chapter every six months so). 

one way that i usually try to get around that road block is that i work on new projects. i take an idea i have and run with it like it’s my main project. i throw myself into it and one day when i’m planning out stuff or writing for that new project, i’ll suddenly get hit with an idea for my main and jump ships again to get back to that project. and that was the plan! i was actually going to start up a new project called ad victoriam! which im super excited about!!

but the one thing that’s kind of stopping me with this plan is the fear that i mentioned before. i don’t want to lose any interest. and i dunno, it feels like the only one that truly cares for this fic is me? even if i do get a lot of comments per chapter (like theres 20 on chapter 13 that i havent replied to yet holy--) i dunno. maybe im just way too self-deprecating to really acknowledge that others care about this fic. 

so im kind of in a bind. im so stressed by not updating bhaf, but ive hit a complete road block creatively. the only way to get past that road block is to do other creative stuff away from the road block. but the stress of keeping reader happy its sorta weighing on me and crushing any inspiration i have for another project.

um. i dont....have anything else to say. im not sure what im going to do now, but i think its safe to say that bhaf might be getting a little hiatus? at least until i can find a way to ease up all this stress. i have one other way in mind, but im still not 100% sold on yet i guess. but if i do that’d still mean the hiatus is there but i’d still be working on bhaf but not in any meaningful way? 

okay i’ll stop being vague but im basically considering rewriting the earlier chapters. nothing big, like adding in scenes or anything, but i dunno just improving the general quality and tweaking a few things i missed, smoothing out inconsistencies of any kind. its sorta meaningless but its an old habit that i used to do when i hit a brick wall with any of my projects sometimes. i’d go back and rewrite the entirety sometimes adding in a few thousand words and generally coming out of it the better since i would be rewriting stuff that was a couple years old at that point. 

but im still being hesitant to actually do that because the old projects im thinking of were all under 20k words, unpublished with maybe nine or ten chapters. all of them rushed and mostly just the barebone scraps of stories barely filled with any emotional depth or character. all of them essentially copy and pastes of each other with mild changes depending on the plot.

whereas if you compare the two? well for starters bhaf is in third person and isn’t following an oc. secondly, bhaf is published whereas my old projects were not. thirdly, i only started writing bhaf just over six months ago so even though my writing style as improved due to writing as much as i have, it hasn’t really improved enough for me to justify rewriting all 58k words of it.

so......yeah. honestly if this post makes any sense to any of you then your head is a lot less jumbled than mine is. im unintelligent and when im stressed i cant explain good. 

tdlr: reached a creative block with bhaf, so its going on hiatus for until i can get past it. not sure if im going to rewrite it or work on another project.

((ALSO FUCKING SIDE NOTE: im also incredibly pissed at myself for it hitting now when the last chapter i posted had a fucking cliffhanger, the one thing that i hate with all my being when its not resolved as soon as possible. im half tempted to post this chapter at 3k words just so that i could get rid of the hiatus at cliffhanger. im so sorry guys.))

[inosukeslefttoe]

lmao dont read this im just venting :(

this is just smthn personal for a second bc im so fucking heartbroken right now and i think things r gonna get better but i just,,, need a place to vent for a while. 

it really fucking sucks that people can fall out of love yknow ?? and yeah i know that its happened to me regarding my friends/crushes but its always been bc they majorly fucked up and did something terrible enough to turn all my love into disgust or indifference but even then, i still think about them and hope theyre doing well from time to time. but... ive never just... been so enamored with someone and given them my everything... only for them to suddenly mean nothing to me for no real reason. and i just cant understand how that can happen to anyone bc when you love someone thats ur person yknow ? like yeah ur gonna be so annoyed and angry and tired of them at times and srsly need a break or maybe even need to take a permanent break if things are getting toxic or unhealthy or arent working ,, but even then it still hurts bc you still love that person right ? 

what i cant understand is how two people can be so perfect for each other and their souls can be so connected and so in love,, and yeah sure the situation might suck and they might be fighting a lil more often,, but they still love each other and have something really special that both of them are working rlly hard for .... but then for that to just... mean nothing to one of them. its different than just prioritizing ur own health and realizing things arent working,,, its like... they just decided they arent excited by their partner and they dont find them beautiful anymore and they dont love their smile or their laugh and theyd rather do anything else than talk to them.... they just fell out of love. 

and their partner is left feeling like they did something or everything wrong. at the beginning, their partner warned them that things werent gonna be easy bc of situations on both ends and then things just got harder with the state of the world and with growing stress on each person. their partner warned them that they sometimes get in a rlly bad headspace for months at a time and are prone to hurting themself. their partner warned them it would require a lot of work on both ends to make things work.... but they promised that none of that was a problem and it was something that they could work through as a team because they loved each other and they could get through anything as long as they’re by each others sides. but then that just.... stopped being true

im just.. so mad right now... like yeah i know my mental issues were already too much and now im having physical medical issues and it fucking sucks but just... was that it ? was that what made you stop loving me ? did you realize that im just too sick and too much for your perfect little self to handle ? is it bc you grew tired of me like you grow tired of eventually everything you love and obsess over ?? was i nothing more than an obsession to just grow out of ?? no different than your favorite musicals from last year or your favorite tv show once it stopped airing ? were you maybe jealous of my improving situation while parts of yours remain bleak ? maybe it was just bc you know we have different priorities... mine being you and yours being anything but me... i feel like an absolute piece of shit and cant help but believe that i mean nothing to you anymore and that all the times you belittled me and talked down to me and told me things are all my fault out of anger were true :( i guess i somehow ruined this whole thing too...

i know we were becoming bad for each other and that our needs werent being met and we would leave each other eventually ... but you didnt have to fall out of love with me .... you couldve at least pretended you still love me instead of telling me you dont... things werent good but i thought we still loved each other i thought we still had that andistillloveyouiloveyousomuchandiknowialwayswill.. so how is it just so easy for people to leave me ??

also lmao i cant stop fucking crying which just makes my excruciating stomach pain even worse like damn i already can barely walk and now i can barely breathe haha ... i really hate this ... and im sorry to anyone that had to read this but doing this on my lil private account disconnected from anyone i know rlly helps. i might just go for a nap or smthn now bc i dont wanna end up doing anything stupid that i regret later. 

[pokefanbri]

https://www.facebook.com/104057744428568/posts/156998459134496/?sfnsn=mo&d=n&vh=e

Fucking told him its a huge red flag if someone doesn't get rid of their apps. Multiple apps. Smh 😠 "oh yea i don't use them anymore" proceeds to use fb dating app" for real come on bro!

Some comments of the post:

"If you have to be checking up on your Partner then you shouldn't be with that person.. Idk how people have time for all this .. love yourself and know your worth.."

"If you're in a serious committed exclusive relationship you should not be on tinder. That's how I met my fiance and as soon as we said we are gf and bf and exclusive we both deleted it. Honestly if I was her I would have broken up with him too"

"a person also has a right to trust their gut feeling and check things out if something's not feeling right. Knowledge is power"

I've already discussed this but this news clip further validates my point of the topic, nothing more. I could call him out on hs bs further with detail, but I won't....yet, out of respect even though he probably doesn't deserve it. Til he reaches me & apologizes for everything he's done, i can say whatever tf I want & i could make a whole damn list.

Its the events of this what happened that started our downfall to begin with cuz i didn't trust him & he didn't even try to gain it back just left it as is when I could've turned my back right then & there, no apology either. Didnt apologize much actually, not even when i last saw him. But from then we spiraled & he got bored of me. I wasn't giving him what he wanted in whatever way & he wanted to find more. Closed himself off from the beginning & that created his boredom 😒

Would've had a blast together like a normal fucking couple if he was less closed off, & wouldn't have felt the need to do shit behind my back.

I'll stop talking about it for now, I have the anger & urge to keep going but I wont...actually no Screw it im pissed 😡 but ill keep it light. Its just not fair, I did so much for him but I was disrespected in different aspects of the whole relationship. Fuck! I've talked about the positives alot cuz i do love him..but the negatives are such bs too.

I want a good ass sincere apology for all of it so I can forgive him & move on, ive already apologized myself even though I dont think I should have to 😒. Didnt even give me a straight answer for the breakup, it was always a different excuse when I know he just wanted to pursue other women without me around im not fucking stupid. His own toxicity was too much even for himself & I was in the line of fire, to where i was the toxic one? No fuck that its unacceptable, he always lied when it came to covering his own ass.

For all i know he's watching me squirm & taking pleasure in all the pain I'm going through over him cuz he likes the attention. But no I actually don't think so on that one he's still good & ill give him credit where its due. But I gave him all the attention he wanted/needed & still wanted more from someone else. Really dude fucking really!?

Man up & own up to your mistakes, speak to me where I can actually hear ur voice speaking back to me with sincerity. We'll apologize together. Yea ull be pissed about this, but after u get over it & calm down. Give in & call me, granted when ur ready, & open up for once in your damn reserved life. Itll help us both with more closure & may even take a weight off our shoulders if we just talk it out, no arguing...since we're done there's no point anyway..a friendly non judgment zone cuz idc, i won't think of u any less.

U confused me during & especially after the relationship cuz i didnt know who u really were, i know the good cuz that's what u allowed me to see, ive accepted the bad that I knew already & from what ive learned...i accepted u regardless.

I always forgave u & not cuz im passive, cuz forgiveness is what the Bible teaches.. ive forgiven u & myself the best i could especially with the last things ive showed u, (accept this part cuz im pissed rn & standing up for myself, ill delete eventually maybe if u ask cuz nobody wants to be seen any less of a person. but I can make it alot worse, calling me the mistake was the worst thing u ever said to me & pointing out your faults so u can be better throughout the relationship was my only toxicity to u) we actually never really fought except the 1 time, just argued a tiny bit rarely about little things.

Ive tried using every ounce of my courage to show u how much im sorry for any wrong ive done. but its up to u now to make things right. U know me, ive always said that u can talk to me about anything. I want to be able to trust again & move on whilst staying friends. What else do u have to lose, might even have a great heart to heart convo dude to dudet

Everything ive ever said up to this point lies all my Questions. But here's most of the list, we both were equally in control of the relationship. Maybe u didn't want me to? But doing everything I had to for myself & the household, what u & ur parents wanted of me & just me being me cuz i had to, u had your own part to play & did provide...but did u actually not want me to cater to u if it were a sign u were lazy or something? Like did u not feel worthy of me? What is it u think is my "addicting personality" that isn't fixable on the surface? What is it really that u didnt like about me? This is why i don't have closure, u left me like this, confused as well as wanting more since u held back so much. Was that on purpose to give me even more false hope & want me to pine over u? Did u ever or do u still, love me at all? What did u want from me & out of the relationship, what was the purpose of it from ur perspective & why do u think i couldn't give that to u? What did i lack that u felt compelled to not tell me so I could improve & vise versa so we both could improve? Why wouldn't u allow me to help u become a better man when (I shouldnt have to btw), its exactly what u wanted but maybe didnt see it? Do u realize your own faults even as u do them? Lol. Like i genuinely want to know as much as the good ive seen, cuz to be better the more open of a person u are the more u understand yourself too.

Unless claiming u want to be a better man is part of ur alluring charm in love bombing process to land a caring girl on purpose lol...god I hope not, that would just mean u rinse & repeat like a for real narcissist 🤔 seriously tho look into that im not even kidding, im asking cuz i care. Im pissed now but 1 thing is that im trying to not put ur behavior against u cuz maybe u can't help it, its just the way u are, all ive seen & experienced points to maybe 50% of u lol. Ive always suspected narcissism, a real psych problem that might be worth looking into. But yea 1 of the reasons especially why im so forgiving & trying not to put it against u, why i still care despite u being a dick lol. I chose to look past it, all the time & up to now cuz I understand what its like to have psychological ailments. The worst part about it is most dont realize it, so i encourage u to do some research & self reflection & admitting it to urself are the 1st steps. Okay? There's different kinds & levels to being 1 too, i found that fascinating. bryan is definitely a different type, ur more lighter than that...definitely not the worst which is the physical harm type. Trust me its worth finding out more about yourself, just dont use it to ur advantage in a bad way but i trust u to do right & grow. Not sure a discarded supply (ie me) has ever tried telling a narcy what they might be for the benefit of their own self awareness 🤔,idk if its ever been done, but theres a 1st for everything? U can find alot on it in quora digest alone but Google is also ur friend.

You always were worth every effort of mine to help u in any way to be happy, & i was most happy when u were. U mean alot to me still, its the effect u had on me, I was under ur spell lol its hard to rid myself of it still, not sure when it'll pass. I chose to see it as a gift rather than a curse, that ur effect on me is still so strong when I shouldn't give a damn. If u really are a narcy, then I understand & don't put alot against u cuz its just the way u are & i need to accept it, but if it somehow helps u to help yourself cuz of it, then whats the harm? But, even in doing this or having my socials public for u...maybe just feeds into what u want...i still dont care, I want u to see how bad or good im doing without u in my life, so u know im okay at least. U promised friendship, least I can do is allow u to keep tabs on me too we spoke of, on my end of things.

The 18th of June was the last time i saw u. It'll soon be a month ago in about a week & a 1/2 & your birthday would mark 2 months. Cant believe we couldn't even last through to that 😔

Mark my words playa I will be contacting u on that day lol. Can't ghost your homie forever sweetie