#Idk how I'm gonna post it here... I'll figure it out. Maybe I can put it on AO3 and link it??

[factorydefaultlu]

Me on my way to draw Cooper fucking Lucy all nasty style:

[outmakingmoonshine]

I was just writing a post about the Carmy/Faks scene & how it's really just Carmy talking to himself. For this scene the two Faks represent his inner voices/subconscious (which might only apply to this scene idk), but then I decided to see what all these scenes looked like together and wow am I glad I did!! Seeing these 4 scenes side by side is very interesting.

The first two scenes in 3x05 & 3x07 mirror each other, the last two scenes in 3x09 mirror each other and all 4 of them tell their own story together. The first scene is Carmy's talking to himself but shouting & aiming it at anyone who's listening. The 2nd is Syd talking to herself but mostly mumbling so only she can hear. In the Faks scene Carmy's having an "imaginary" conversation out loud with two people, just like Syd's doing in the last scene rehearsing what she might say to both Adam Shapiro and Carmy.

And if you rearrange these scenes & put the first 2 after the Faks scene, if we saw/heard those sarcastic "that makes sense" comments after we saw the "Claire is peace" scene in that exact same location, it would've been a lot easier to figure out what they're really referring to!

There are lots of layers to unpack here but I'm gonna talk about the main things that jump out at me. This is probably gonna be a bit chaotic with different ideas and breakdowns of what things could mean so I hope it's not too confusing. Anyone else feel free to jump in with your thoughts.

Below the cut

Notice how in all these scenes, except one, Carmy and Syd are alone talking out loud to themselves, vocalizing their inner thoughts. Mute the video and just read the subtitles if you need to. The scene with the Faks reads like a conversation with imaginary friends or like the two funny inner voices of a character in a comedy movie. All these scenes are like they're from a comedy movie tbh.

In the first two scenes Carmy & Syd act the same way they both deal with their problems (Carmy shouting about it to anyone who'll listen and Syd pissed but mostly keeping it quiet/to herself). They're the only ones actually inside the dumpster in all the scenes which makes me think it represents their minds and the boxes are the mental chaos & thoughts they're trying to sort through. The Faks are technically outside Carmy's mind/the dumpster so they don't speak from the mind or for the mind but they're close to it, communicating with it & "helping" sort through the chaos. Maybe the dumpster represents the conscious mind and the Faks are Carmy's subconscious. It sounds like The Faks are encouraging Carmy to fall back into his base programming, which people often tend to do when they're lost and don't know what to do. They're trying to convince him to call Claire bc Carmy's base programming from his family is "Claire is good". That's what safe to him bc it's a "truth" he's always known & believed. Idk there's many possibilities. It's also Interesting how later this episode The Faks go to Claire and speak directly for Carmy like they know for sure what he's thinking & feeling.

Lets get into the dialogue of the first two scenes:

"[Carmy] That makes sense. [box clatters] Boxes full of bullshit. Put it on the f*cking list. Oh, it's good. I'll do it. I got it. I got it."

Just a side note: The next line in the script is "I don't know wha-what I'm supposed to do with all this stuff" from Marcus in the next scene where he's clearing out all his mum's stuff with Syd.

"[Syd] 'Cause why would you do it? I mean, you're supposed to do it. This is-- This is fine. This is good. This makes sense. This is f*cking… F*ck. F*ck. [pants] [muttering] F*ck. [growls] fcking-- Where are the fcking Faks? F*ck!"

I don't even know where to start, there's so many ways to read this!

Carmy said one specific thing in the Faks scene that very clearly "didn't make sense"...Claire is peace. He knows that's not true but I think the point is he's been avoiding thinking about who his peace actually is all S3*. Carmy & Syd are both sarcastically saying "that makes sense" like it's subtly referring to that scene later in the same place. Was the panic attack scene by the same dumpsters? Idk someone let me know please.

*Carmy said in 3x07 he tries to avoid thinking about legacy. The only legacy we know of is the one he's trying to build with Syd both professionally and personally. His realization that Syd's brings him peace in the panic attack in 2x09 is the reality of his legacy that he's been trying to avoid all S3. He's working to get her his star and creating dishes inspired by her so Syd's cearly on his mind but the one thing he should be thinking about and talking to her about, he's avoiding.

There are many different layers of possible meaning and/or foreshadowing in this dialogue, but one layer it can be read is how they're both thinking/feeling about the Claire situation bc even tho Syd didn't mention it all season it's still there between them. Maybe none of this is about Claire, but if it was:

Carmy: "[sarcastically] that makes sense"...claire is "peace". "Boxes full of bullsh*t"...he's full of bullshit that Claire's his peace?!! Or maybe Claire is in the boxes of bullshit aka his baggage and past trauma he needs to sort through? "Put it on the "f*cking list"...put Claire on the list of his stress & baggage? And a very sarcastic "Oh it's good. I'll do it. I got it. I got it." He'll do what he's "supposed to do" with Claire & call her/apologize/maybe even be with her even tho it clearly sounds like he doesn't want to..?? He's "got it"...even though he clearly doesn't. "It's good" but she's clearly not The Good Thing™.

Syd: "Cause why wouldn't you do it? I mean you're supposed to do it"...why won't carmy just sort himself out? why wont he just call claire/be with claire since Syd thinks that's what he wants & she acts in front of him like "it's not her place to be [beside him on a personal level]" almost direct quote from her in 3x09. She's probabaly confused why Carm just wont be with Claire. From Syd's perspective he changed his mind about her and chose Claire in S2, so the next logical step is he'd be with Claire. "This is fine. This is good. This makes sense."...carmy saying claire is peace & also probably how she'll react out loud if carmy/claire get back together. "This is f*cking… F*ck. F*ck. [pants] [muttering] F*ck. [growls] fcking--"...this is how she really feels about the whole Claire situation & Carmy just ditching her & "changing shit" (that came up a lot this season), which ultimately led to him not treating her like a partner in their professional relationship. "Where are the fcking Faks? F*ck!"...a direct lead in to Carmy's scene in the exact same place 2 episodes later.

Sydney's dialogue in 3x07 scene also reads like a run-on of Carmy's dialogue in 3x05, continuing his thoughts trying to convince himself of what he should do with Claire but he's panicking so he calls for the Fak's, his imaginary friends/inner voices, who are there with him the next time we see him in that spot. From the dialogue it makes sense but idk if we've ever seen the show do that with Syd before so idk. Sydney is clearly definied as her own character but she is definied as a mirror of Carmy too so it's a possibility.

Of course this is all interpretation, some or none of this could be directly about Claire but idk. The location (esp if it's in the same place he had the 2x09 panic attack), all the "coincidental" dialogue, the way all these scenes tie together...and with the panic attack scene and the opposing realizations Carmy comes to about Syd & Claire in 2x09 & 3x09. It wasn't a "realization" about Claire in 3x09, he didn't even look like he believed what he was saying tbh. It looked like he just made it up on the spot.

It's also interesting that these scenes by the dumpsters are the quivalent of S1 & 2's walk in scenes where both Syd & Carmy go for a moment of peace to clear their thoughts and "cool off". We don't see those this season but we do get these which is more like them sorting out all the chaotic thoughts & feelings inside them, separating the "trash" from the good stuff, "the bad from the good" like Carmy said he wanted/needed to do to achieve his legacy in 3x07.

In the Faks scene listen to all the "we" and "us" talk;

"If we did it when it was scheduled. We do though. We do it, Carm. All we do is break down boxes. We break 'em down and we have to do it again. Who would wanna haunt us? Who's pissed at us? Sammy's pissed at us."

Until Claire is mentioned (a sobering thought for Carmy) and it's suddenly "Not us. Just you. Not us." Reality hit for a moment and the imaginary friends want to separate themselves from him because they're not "real" & they didn't upset Claire so she can't be mad at them. I think Carmy is the only "real" one in this scene. The Faks are the imaginary friends/inner voices that seem like they're helping the main character but they're really just causing more chaos and leading him down the wrong path because they're misunderstanding what he wants based on what he's forcing himself to think about; Claire. (I lowkey think Carmy's forcing memories of Claire to stop himself from thinking about Sydney.)

The transition of Carmy talking to himself with The Fak's representing two parts of his mind aka "two minds" going straight into Syd talking to herself & voicing out loud what she'd say to both Shapiro and Carmy like she's having a mental conversation with two different people and that she's in "two minds". "I wanted to start off by saying I'm grateful" sounds formal and directed at Adam Shapiro. "Ok so I wanted to talk to you..." sounds more personal and directed at Carmy. It's a similar concept of being in two minds used in a slightly different context but in this show and the writing specifically, context is all over the place anyway.

Also the transition into the Syd scene is to drive home the point that Carmy was just having a conversation with himself, trying to convince himself that Claire is peace, she's "good" etc. For this scene (and possibly this scene only) Theodore is the stubborn part of Carmy that doesn't like to be pushed around who thinks stuff like "Yeah but I'd see his ass" about Sammy Fak. And you know there's a part of Carmy that would have that attitude but the conscious part of him is smarter than that. Neil is the more sweet, anxious side of Carmy that is kind of "away with the fairies" a little bit, in his own head a lot. Carmy is the regular, conscious, "real" Carmy trying to figure out the mental mess he's in.

I think transitioning into that Syd scene was also to callback to the only other times Syd or Carmy spoke aloud to themselves. I might be forgetting something but I think all these scenes are the only times we see either of them have full conversations with themselves out loud in S3..? Someone let me know if that's wrong please.

Side note- From one perscpective: Carmy's reaction to Theodore calling Claire "a piece of ass" was so...unaffected??! Could you imagine if someone said that about Syd?? He bit Richie's head off for calling her "sweetheart" in 1x01 and physically put himself between them so I can't imagine he'd take it that lightly if it was about Syd...From another perpective, if this scene is all about Carmy's inner thoughts, is he asking himself if that's how he sees Claire? I don't think he does intentionally but it's a valid question considering the show seems to use physical intimacy as a substitute for any real connection between them. If Claire & Carmy never kissed or had sex, would anyone see that relationship as a romance?? I really don't think so tbh, the physical initmacy is the only thing about their scenes that confirms it's supposed to be seen as a romance. Meanwhile SydCarmy are drowning in real connection before any physical intimacy.

Anyone please feel free to jump in and add your thoughts, I'd love to know your perspectives on seeing all these scenes together @thoughtfulchaos773 @sydcarmyfan @yannaryartside @currymanganese @vacationship @afrofairysblog @greekyogurttragedy @tvfantic87 @moodyeucalyptus @gingergofastboatsmojito @ambeauty @whenmemorydies @brokenwinebox and anyone else who wants to jump in is welcome to.

[unb1nding-t-b0y]

Transphobia/ micro aggression idk story cuz I see a lot of posts talking about transandrophobia but not as many stories about experiencing it. (Maybe it's just my Tumblr algorithm but regardless posting will hopefully help that too)

Anyways I'm 21 recently started transitioning and I've been performing at a drag place for a little bit. This elder queen (I don't even remember her name I think she was trans but with drag queens that have spent their lives In Drag it can be difficult to tell even when you hear them talk about themselves because many of these people kinda use male and female names pronouns etc interchangeably etc. I'll use she -her pronouns in the story because I'd rather not accidentally misgender a trans women and ik she doesn't care about being she/hered even if she is a cis gay) Anyways she asks bout me and I tell her my name, pronouns, and identity as one does in queer spaces. Upon hearing I was a trans masc she immediately feels the need to tell me the story of the time she *gasp* almost slept with a trans man. The story goes like this.

Shes at a drag night in some bar and a drag king approaches her and they hit it off. Shes into him and vice versa. They ditch the bar and make out in a car somewhere and when it's getting hot and heavy the dude pulls his strap out and tells her he wants to fuck her. All standard shit. But she goes on and on about how surprised and disgusted she was at both the fact that she's been fooling round with a "woman" and how off-putting it was to even suggest a BOTTOM get fucked with a dildo. She picks up. A. Drag. King. And gets surprised when he's trans. If a lesbian went to a drag night and picked up a trans woman and reacted in the same way people would call her an idiot for not bothering to have the critical thinking skills to consider that maybe that person performing gender up there is performing a different gender than they were assigned at birth. (Side note if you're gonna pick someone up without knowing anything about them you can't be mad about surprises. I swing both ways so a surprise is just fine for me but if you have a severe genital preference maybe fucking ask people before you're making out with them and wanting to fuck. Sorry you hate dildos but you should have checked, and honestly even if it's a cis dude you should at least try to verify that they get tested + use protection etc

Unfortunately the majority of drag kings I've run into have been CIS men. The place I'm in is very supportive and kind to cis men doing bare minimum performances (no choreography, no makeup, usually the dude just takes his shirt off at some point and that alone is enough to be praiseworthy. Or he wears a suit stands around and barely lip-syncs ) whereas drag kings that aren't cis or arent men are more often than not treated as outsiders.

The story also cemented what I was afraid of that ultimately I was viewed as an invader of the space. That for some reason cis queens and cis kings are more acceptable in a space that was pioneered by trans women and drag queens. The trans drag shows Ive gone to haven't had any trans men in them unless they are open call. It's hurtful it's alienating and it's frustrating. I AM STILL TRANS. IF YOUR TRANS INCLUSIVE SPACE ISNT INCLUSIVE OF ME ITS NOT INCLUSIVE. It's frustrating that as a trans man when I enter "trans friendly gay bars" I'm often treated like an annoying presence getting in the way of everyone else's dicks only zone. Sorry I don't have a cock but that shouldn't be a requirement to occupy these spaces and you can't call yourself trans inclusive when you really mean just cis gays and trans girls. At the time I couldn't really articulate how fucked up what she said was so I just kinda said some non offensive topic change and moved on but like most of the other queens ignored or avoided me and that moment I figured out why I always felt like the odd one out. Because I was.

[wikiangela]

fuck it friday

tagged by @tizniz @bidisasterbuckdiaz @honestlydarkprincess 💖💖

still on my bucktommy bs, I'll be back to buddie but i'm too obsessed with tommy/lou to think about anything else rn lol

so here's a bit of something short I'm wiriting for 7x05 from tommy's pov, idk what this is, what it's gonna be, but I wanna finish it tonight or maybe by the end of the weekend so posting it here to motivate myself and also tell me what y'all think bc the more i reread all of it the more i doubt myself lol

___

It took him some time, plus a lot of self-reflection and just taking it one step at a time, letting himself look at other men, this time consciously and sometimes deliberately, noticing how hot they are, how they make him feel. He let himself feel how they make him feel. It took a minute to stop feeling guilty and ashamed, and to rework all those internalized prejudices that had been ingrained in him his whole life.

He gave himself time, a lot of time, started with just chatting with guys on dating apps, later got the courage for some casual dates, and when he met the man who would be his first actual boyfriend, his first gay relationship, that he genuinely liked, he felt ready to pursue that. It didn’t work out then, that’s just life, but it was a good relationship, because he was ready for it. Now he feels settled and comfortable with himself, feels confident, and knows what he wants. And he wants- he wants love. He doesn’t want to put any pressure on any relationship he might start, but ultimately, that’s the goal. Love. 

He really doesn’t mind being this first to Evan. He likes Evan. He has those bright blue eyes that seem to shine their own light, and that wide, excited smile that makes it impossible not to smile back, with that adorable dimple accompanying it, that makes Tommy melt a little every time he sees it. Plus, those perfect, kissable lips he can’t wait to taste again, and the distinctive birthmark just adding to the charm. And he’s big and strong and so hot, too. And he’s just so nice, and so adorable and endearing, and he’s so easy to talk to. Tommy just wants to keep getting to know him, spend time with him, develop this relationship and see where it can go. And with any luck, maybe this one could last, could be something real.

The thing is, Tommy is ready for serious. He can take it slow, give Evan time to figure everything out, but he’d also like to know where he stands. He would never want to pressure him to come out before he’s ready, but he also knows he doesn’t want to be anyone’s dirty little secret. Been there, done that.

Still, he would be fine with keeping it just to him and Evan for now, for as long as Evan needs. But then���

___

no pressure tags: @elvensorceress @thebravebitch @shortsighted-owl @eddiebabygirldiaz @watchyourbuck @eowon @loserdiaz @evanbegins @ladydorian05 @wildlife4life @diazpatcher @lover-of-mine @monsterrae1 @thewolvesof1998 @neverevan @weewootruck @loveyouanyway @spagheddiediaz @rainbow-nerdss @epicbuddieficrecs @pirrusstuff @spotsandsocks @alliaskisthepossibilityoflove @nmcggg @rogerzsteven @giddyupbuck @sunshinediaz @underwater-ninja-13 @exhuastedpigeon @911-on-abc @jesuisici33 @steadfastsaturnsrings @theotherbuckley @buddieswhvre @dangerpronebuddie @diazsdimples @fortheloveofbuddie @hoodie-buck @your-catfish-friend @hippolotamus @daffi-990

[scummy-writes]

Ikemen Tier List

whoaaa two posts together whoaaa (you guys didn't witness me doing this first to see if I had the energy to post a finished drabble today)

I've had trouble with the tier lists for a while because I feel like it didn't explain how I felt about these dudes half of the time, but I figured out a better way to mark the tiers and I feel like this sums it up great. And now you too can have a handy dandy 'How does Scum feel about X?' list! If Roderic had a sprite, I would put him in the daily thing, or maybe the top one? hm

Anyway, I'm gonna explain the tiers under the cut for extra clarifications.

[*Wants to write fanfics for 24/7*] : The Current Main Blorbo. All tremble before him - for he holds the writing braincell and he's all anyone hears about forever and ever - until another blorbo takes his spot (usually takes a few years). You'll see him as icons and photos and and and--------

On my mind daily, in some form: Sometimes these characters will be paired with the #1 chara, and so by extension they're thought about often. Sometimes they're not paired with them, but still thought about often. Despite my posting habits, I do enjoy these guys still. A lot, actually.

Think about a few times a week, offhandedly: Rubs chin. I think of Chev and Elbert as a rare comfort. A type of quiet one that is a plesant encouragement in some way or another. Or I get perplexed thinking about how they'd look ordering shitty coffee. Not much of an inbetween. But really I sometimes just enjoy the quiet comfort thoughts when i need them with those two.

Think about a few times a month: They used to be higher up in the faves, but I either got enough of them at some point (in a good way), friends love them with such glee that i just enjoy watching them simp for them, or they just got naturally shifted down in the line as more characters came into view. I won't talk about them much but I do like em in multiple ways.

Scared to think about (for my wallet): legally not allowed to like because I cannot max out my credit card (a joke). I really really really like Alfons and Victor but I am terrified they'll shoot the ranks in a couple of months, and that my wallet will be screaming to be spared (darius is still up for debate)

Want to like but (and/or for reasons cannot): hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Random simping once a blue moon (idk why): I read a translated story of roger once when sitting in my car on a lunch break. I was reading as I was getting out, and nearly fell into the horn when reading about his cock. It tormented me for a week. This happens ocassionally with the others... maybe not a translated story, but i'll have a random thought that hits me like a bullet train and suddenly I'm stumbling and struggling to think about anything else for a bit. (Leonardo is here as punishment, he knows what he did)

Was Favorite when playing but ghosted game: Ikerev was the first(?) cybird game I played, followed very very closely by ikesen. I don't see a lot of stuff for them naturally on my dash, and bluntly ikerev just could not hold my attention especially after I lost my data and got cockblocked by shitty gacha pulls, but I hardcore simped for these dudes when I played. Well, jonah did get pushed to the bottom of that tier fairly quickly, but Shingen is still #1 there. Anju (oc) was originally made for him, and I suspect that when his...eternal(?) is released in eng, I'll be feral for a little bit and then go back to gil simping.

No opinion really: I just.....shrug. They're neither bad nor good. These are characters who I was either SUPER excited for and then sorely disappointed, characters I haven't felt drawn to, or characters I just....never....felt anything towards...even after reading their route... I'm assuming they're just not my type and that's why they're here.

No: I hold negative opinions due to XYZ personal reason. Or their vibes are just rancid to me. I don't care if others like them or not, I don't judge others for liking them.

[innitmarvellous]

Part 2 of my ace contemplations - Part 1 can be found here - or more like: more whining, haha. Sorry.

First off something more general: I'm happy about the responses I got on the original post, but I think it's a bit sad that there isn't a hashtag or something for people who want and need the support of the aspec community here on Tumblr (without having to join a special forum or sth). Because it seems that while the community is quite active, it's mostly for sharing memes and snappy textposts and stuff, and less about more helpful things and discussions. I'm not saying the memes etc are wrong and shouldn't be a part of it too, but idk, I just wish there would be more of an actual community bond, if that makes sense? To help the people who aren't yet at the stage where they can view their identity as something great, people who are still struggling and are reliant on online communities for that kind of help.

Because for all the talk about the very active Tumblr aspec community...I personally haven't seen and benefitted much of it, apart from the memes etc. And I hope I'm not the only person who don't just want to agree with meme posts and would wish for more. Or am I just unfortunate? Looking in the wrong places? (In short, where are the nice supportive ace people of Tumblr? I'm desperate here...well, kind of.)

---

Something related to the books I mentioned in the original post:

these books are all written from such an US-centric, university-educated and creative business viewpoint. And that's just not my world at all, as an mostly unemployed European with crappy education.

Like, one time it was mentioned that aces always look out for each other and how great that is. And yeah, sure. It is. It would be great, but what about the people who aren't part of that lucky network or community? People who possibly haven't met another aspec person in real life? They are missing that kind of support, and maybe it would be the one thing that would make everything easier.

---

Another thing: I found the probably supposed to be inspirational stories from other aces in the books rather disheartening. Yeah, fine, so person XY found their perfect partner by luck, despite whatever made them think it would never work out, yadda yadda. Good for them, but that's not gonna happen to me, right? I'm not gonna strike that jackpot and will find someone who accepts me as I am. Maybe I'm just a really, really spiteful person, but stories like that don't inspire me or show me what's possible for me personally in any way.

---

Well, yeah, I never encountered that. Like, truly never. That's one thing where I'm very ace: I don't get what's supposed to be sexy about a (mostly) naked body. I understand a appeal of a open top button and bit of chest being visible or something like that (lol that sounded so stupid), but the body being in full view? Nah man, put on your shirt again before you catch a cold, lol. (And it's not just guys actually, but people of all genders, if I'm honest.) I should probably add that I absolutely don't mind seeing anything like that, it just doesn't do anything for me.

---

I guess my takeaway from all the reading I did isn't like for other people who don't feel wrong or broken anymore when they find out there are other aces out there. Even after knowing a lot about it I still feel like some crucial part of me is missing, and I could be more than what I am if that were possible. But then again, there isn't really a possibility for change, so I need to do my best to accept this. I just wish I had it easy one single time...why is basically everything about me so hard to accept? lol

Idk, but if I ever manage to convince myself that inevitably dying alone one day (and spending the time until then alone too) is a good thing, then I'm sure I'll be able to do anything. Now I only need to figure out how to convince myself and that's where it gets difficult, lol.

Being both aspec and too dumb/awkward to make friends is such a curse tbh 😓 And I can't even become a crazy cat lady because I'm bad with animals too, ugh...

---

In connection with the previous bit, I'm kinda envious of that way of thinking. Would make things much easier, I assume. And it's great if it worked for her, but I on the contrary would find it quite painful if I look back at my in a sense similar life.

---

And to counter all the hopelessness a little bit - we're supposed to do that kind of thing, I guess - I tried my best to come up with some positive points, although I take them with a grain of salt myself.

- Well, it does give me an explanation for whatever is going on with me. (Although I only need that explanation for myself, since I seem to give off so much sad loser energy that no one ever bothered to ask me whether I want a boyfriend or kids. They just look at me and think "nah, that's obviously impossible for her". Which is oddly funny yet a little bit hurtful... ^^')

- I'm kind of glad that I never actually have to hug people or cuddle with them since I hate physical contact so much, lol. Doesn't matter if it's platonic or not. Remember when everyone missed being hugged during the pandemic? Couldn't be me :D

- I guess someone who is a rather bad person with way too many negative traits like me shouldn't be on the dating market anyway, so it's a plus that I'm no relationship material. Although that's more of a plus for others, not so much for me, lol. But it is a plus in the sense that everyone I would fall in love with would be unattainable for me anyway, so it's good not to be tempted in the first place.

- Idk, that's about it, I think? Maybe I forgot something, but I believe that's the gist of it. Kind of sad, but I tried, haha.

[fandoomrants]

Sooo, just a small comment on some of the things I loved in the finale of PJO.

There are obviously gonna be spoilers here soo...

-The fight between Percy and Ares!!! I loved the wave and now it was a subtle way of showing Poseidon was indeed beside him.

-The scenes between Percy and Luke!!! "Look, you didn't want to be a half-blood...". I loved the addition of these flashbacks of Luke teaching Percy to fight.

-Olympus! Omg, it was so pretty!!!

-Percy immediately being a total little shit with Zeus, I loved that!

-Poseidon showing up to protect Percy!

-Percy understanding only the word for "father" in Ancient Greek. He knows it because of Sally!

-"Ares is a moron."

-Overall the whole exchange between Percy and Poseidon. It really is a big step from him being all bitter and it was a bit corny but I liked it still.

-When Percy reveals Luke is the Lightning thief!

-Luke not fighting Percy at first. I have thoughts about the whole thing but I'll put them later on.

-Luke snapping for a moment and attacking Percy only after he mentions his father.

-Annabeth and her dagger!

-"Wait, your name is Percy!" And later "I don't think so", This was sooo hilarious. Especially when you think about how he initially tried to lie to him he's his dad. I'm pretty sure Dionysus knows his and everyone's name very well, he just likes being a jerk.

-"Some place called Disneyland", tbh, I feel like Annabeth won't be thrilled. I certainly wasn't and I was still am pretty childish as a kid.

-Grover's license!

-Their pact! That was so cute!

-"What did you dream of?" "Grandpa.". For a moment there I was like "What!? Are they tring to make it look like it was all a dream or that they're trying to make it as if Sally doesn't remember!?" but a moment later I was like "Nope, that's Percy Jackson, of course he'd refer to Kronos as his grandpa even tho he's his biggest enemy rn"

-Blue pancakes!

-When Percy and Sally were leaving the apartment, Percy's last narrative and the rain outside!

-The devastating moment when I thought we're not seeing Gabe turned into a statue but juuuust in case skipping the credits (call it a feeling or sth) and...

-GABE TURNING INTO A STATUE!!!! I'm honestly so happy! I'm not even mad Sally didn't do it as it was implied in the books. But she was divorcing him! I know he wasn't portrayed as bad as he was in the books in the TV show but I still believe he was emotionally abusing and he was still a jerk even tho it was toned down. Also, he was such an annoying, whiny bit-$(#..

...

That's all I can think of rn, even tho I believe there were other things too.

Now, I gotta admit I've read the book a looong time ago so I don't remember everything in great details but I noticed lots of the changes in the episode and throughout the whole season. I still enjoyed the show a lot, tho. Most of the changes made sense and like... Come on, it's an adaptation! And Rick Riordan was involved in the process so I believe he knew what he was doing with all these changes.

Tbh, I liked the first two episodes a lot, then idk, the third, maybe fourth too, were a tiiny bit meh to me but overall, I loved it and loved the last couple of episodes! I have mixed feelings for some things like them knowing about Medusa, the Lotus casino and other stuff but again, I trusted the process and it worked! It's only 8 episodes and there was a lot to happen there so I can see why these changes were needed. Figuring all out would have taken them a lot of time. Also, it was as much for new fans as it was for new ones so of course some things had to be made differently. For example, how the whole thing about who would betray Percy was done.

I've been watching lots of videos and posts of new fans who haven't read the books and I was cackling like an old hag at their assumptions how it was gonna be Grover or sth. And you just can't convince me that episode 7 and Annabeth getting caught by one of the roots wasn't with the exact purpose of making people think "Oh, they are friends now, what if it's her?" It was really well-played. And let's not forget how everyone was like "Luke! Babyboy, so precious." Can't wait to see everyone's reactions now... (Luke is still these things, even though he is "bad guy")

Speaking of Luke, again, haven't read the books in a while but I somewhat don't remember him and Percy being that close and being such good buddies. Idk, might need to read them again but even though I didn't mind that dynamic too much, I really thought this is more like how Luke and Annabeth should have been. I feel like we needed more interactions between them. Also, Luke speaks randomly about her twice, first telling Percy about her and calling her "my little sister" and then last episode giving that example with the spiders (nopee, I don't believe itt, she won't crush it, she'll scream and run unless it's a huge spider, then she'll fight it because of her bf) but she barely (if not ever) mentioned him? Yeah, she mentioned Thalia but almost nothing of Luke?? How are you gonna convince me that was her hero!? She should have been broken by his betrayal much more than Percy! Also, they kinda made Luke somewhat of a big softie, I thought it was because then his betrayal would have been more devastating but nope, there wasn't some kind of a 180° turn in his behaviour. Wonder why, to make him more relatable or? I want to see how his further actions are going to play out in this scenario...

Anywayy, all in all, I enjoyed the show a lot and I hope there is a next season. I want to see how the story will proceed on the screen (and I hope the changes we keep getting aren't anything too essential).

[valfeathers]

OMG YOUR ART IS SO GOOD! Gonna go on a reblog spree tomorrow or something <3<3<3

Anywho, care to share some (more) of your opinions on Wammy's House? Saw a few text posts and they caught my interest 👀

Like, how do you think L feels about his successors or something. Or just rant about why you hate Watari and Roger (omg or more BB talk LOVE that). I dunno I can just ell your opinions/takes are *chef's kiss*

i'm so sorry this took so long but!! i had no idea where to start lmao

i spend so much time just thinking about L in any capacity,, i mean it, he occupies a scary amount of my waking thoughts (blame the autism)

so for starters, as much as i shit on wammy's and its terrible negligence, i find myself putting L & the successors into little found family scenarios & i often draw them all together

(eg. here's some older sketches of L & the kids)

now i know that canonically they probably (definitely) weren't like this but,, i want them all to be loved

i can understand why/how other people would have a different interpretation of their dynamic, but portraying L as a mentor/brother/father figure is very near & dear to my heart :'))

(this is also partly projection as i'm an eldest son who loves their sibling & wants the best for them, who also deeply relates to L so do with that what you will haha)

most of my wammy family art is for comfort! and maybe it can comfort other people too :')))

maybe one day i'll come back & explain the extent of my hcs about this dynamic but i'm not confident in my ability to like. word my thoughts coherently yet so !! for now u get art & some surface level stuff :)

but anyways, sometimes i question what being at the centre of a program like that must feel like. i try not to overanalyse L's backstory and dictate what he must have thought because i know that he's a complicated character and a lot of his morality/actions are up for debate but like,,,

having your guardians look for a replacement for you while you're still alive? that's like saying 'we're just waiting for you to die/mess up/become useless to us and then when that happens, we can instantly replace you with a new & improved version'

even if they were trying to do a classic 'heir' system where a person inherits L's position and this wasn't meant to send that kind of message,, the environment that was produced is still incredibly toxic. that still isn't good. they used children. malleable, vulnerable orphans. that's no coincidence.

and idk that's a little messed up to me.

i don't really know how else to word my thoughts on this situation rn? i just acknowledge that that's no way to treat a person and move on bc,, what else can i say? :'/ it's a terrible situation for everybody involved and watari (& roger) are fucked up for creating a cycle of abuse and putting L right in the centre of it.

and a prime example of how damaging this system was is B. he wasn't born hateful and vindictive and violent, something made him that way. we are all products of our environments, and his was inhumane by definition.

this post is getting long as fuck, jesus,,, okok i'll wrap this up by saying that i'll expand on B at a later date

and reminding u that this is my interpretation and you're free to disagree! we all read into characters & their relationships differently

but yeah a lot of my thoughts about them tend to be really sad so i pad it out with sweeter stuff like above!

[yrrtyrrtwhenihrrthrrt]

Am asking abou the movie/comic crossover >:>

Omg hi! What would you like to know??

So I've got a lot more ideas about this since I made the initial post. As I put in the tags, I'm not really good at staying on top of long-form stuff so idk if I'll be able to ever put the whole thing together, but here's a bunch more ideas I had for this~

-I've been wondering how exactly Ambrosius would go about stopping the joust and have explored a few different options, but currently my favorite of which is that he gets to the joust too late to stop his younger self from starting with the weaponized lance. He gets there right after younger him gets knocked off the horse, and he kicks/stomps the lance, breaking it before it can be used on Ballister. Young him gets confused as to why the broken lance is sparking so much (I hc that even though he knew it was weaponized, he didn't know exactly how much), reaches for it, and then in a fucked up little twist, gets his hand blown off. Future Ambrosius, the mysterious stranger, is blamed and viewed as a villain. He and Nimona fly off to Ballister's old lair.

Now he has to try to get in contact with him and Ballister's younger selves, but they kind of see him as their enemy. His mission was to get them away from the Institution, but he has accidentally driven Blackheart straight into them because now he wants to catch the villain who blew up his boyfriend not knowing that that villain was trying to save him the same fate

- I imagine that he wouldn't have told her that she (or a version of herself) was the one who caused his scars and disability. Plus a very emo scene where Nimona turns into a dragon/monster/beast of some kind for combat reason and reaches for him and he screams or recoils in fear, at which point she realizes that it had been her. He tells the whole story, about how she'd massacred innocent people, how he tried to kill her, how Ballister tried to save her, how much both of them wish it had ended differently. It's a lot of angst

-I also imagine that at one point (maybe once they've recruited younger Ambrosius and Ballister) Ambrosius and Nimona decide they're gonna find Nimona (his universe's Nimona) and save her somehow, so she doesn't turn into a monster or hurt anyone/herself again. I haven't quite figured out how yet.

Anyway I'm so glad you liked my idea and hoped you like these additional details!

[glacierruler]

Sides and Neurodivergency results!

This, this is gonna be a long post!

Taglist: @cutebisexualmess @oatmeal-stans-the-trash-rat @nebulous-astronaut @pandagobrr @awitchbravestheverge

First I'm gonna look at all the general responses, and then screenshot some of the replies/extra info that was given in these!

Everyone who responded was really nice, so I'm definitely down to do these again, just maybe not for a little bit! Gonna do a read more, and put everything below that!

First, the overarching responses to the questions!

Every person who responded to it said Yes, they think it's okay to write the sides as neurodivergent. One person went on to say:

Which is a fair assumption of what I'm trying to ask, considering the phrasing of the question. However, I do want to clear up, that I asked this question to know your opinions on it, not to ascribe morality to it. I get that the wording is kind of confusing, but I'm unsure of how else to word it.

Next question is this one. I'm asking if they make the sides neurodivergent, which neurodivergencies does the individual give them? There was an other option for any that I didn't list.

As you can see there is a long list, a good chunk of the answers were put in by the people who responded by filling out the other answer box. Here's the ones that were cut off:

To the first one, yeah, that's completely fair. I'm also hesitant to delve into neurodivergencies if I don't feel like I've done enough research or have personal experience with it(and even with personal experience I get scared to do it still).

To the second one, thank you so much for this long list! I didn't know a good chunk of these existed, and this will be so helpful in any future polls about this subject that I do! /gen

The next two questions were optional, and I'll be sharing my favorite answers. The first one:

Why do you/don't you make the sides neurodivergent? And why that/those specific neurodivergency(ies) if you do?

I'll be putting the Image ID here, because some of these screenshots are too small for me to put it in the alt text.

Image ID: 5 screenshots of 5 different replies to the answer above. Screenshot 1 says: I make the Sides neurodivergent because it's mostly me projecting as a neurodivergent person. This includes me leaving things implied as I slowly figure myself out.

Screenshot 2 says: I don't usually focus on that part of the story, it might be implied, but not explicitly said. despite being a neurodivergent myself. Idk I guess I'm just more interested in fun fantasy world than real world problems that kinda stress me out. But I would totally read a fic that focuses on any sort of neurodivergencies!

Screenshot 3 says: I like to because i tend to project my own neurodivergencies onto them, and i use my fic writing as a way to cope with my own internal issues sometimes. Expressing them with problems similar or reminiscent of my own, even if not explicitly so, allows me to figure out and work through my own issues. I have diagnosed ADHD and self diagnosed ASD and C-PTSD, so i find myself able to write about my own experiences through them.

Screenshot 4 says: When I write them this way, it's for the same reason I write them with a handful of physical disabilities. I want to explore the sides struggling with things I struggle with in my life. Because it's cathartic for me and also it falls under the "write what you know" adage. I also find it comforting or cathartic to read about the sides struggling with these or similar things. I think it's important for people without any neurodivergencies to do a lot of research before writing fanfic (or original fiction) with neurodivergent characters. I would do the same for a neurodivergency that I didn't personally have. But people everywhere *are* neurodivergent, there's no good reason *not* to explore these topics in fanfic.

Screenshot 5 says: If it's all the sides with the same diagnosis, that's another thing entirely. Part of it being that it's applying a diagnosis onto a, albeit fictional, version of a real person. I understand that the *Character* Thomas is different from *Real* Thomas, but it still feels weird and icky to do so to me. I won't judge anyone who does so, because that's a me thing rather than a problem thing, but it's just not for me to diagnose someone via fanfiction.

End Image ID

All of these are fair, personal reasons as to why they make the sides neurodivergent or they don't make the sides neurodivergent. (I did not ask if they did or didn't, which was an error on my part imho).

I will say, that in fandom and fanfiction, giving characters neurodivergencies is not the same thing as armchair diagnosing a real person with a neurodivergency, but I totally get how it can feel similar to that. I think for most people, the reason they give the sides neurodivergencies is to feel more connected to these characters that they know and love, or even to explore the characters more.

As for not exploring neurodivergencies in fanfic, there might not be a good reason for it, but there are definitely valid reasons for it. Honestly, even though I hc Remus and Patton as being bipolar(like me), I'm always hesitant to write about it. Mainly because of my own internal anxiety of what if I get this wrong, what if this isn't true for everyone, what if etc... So I completely understand people being hesitant to write the sides as neurodivergent even when they have said neurodivergencies. It's not necessarily a fear that will go away with time, it just becomes easier to overcome some days(at least for me). And to anyone who is unsure about something when attempting to start writing neurodivergencies in fanfic, research and ask questions. There will be those who are willing to answer.

I asked if there were any comments or questions for me, and I'll share these two answers!

Image ID: 2 screenshots, the first one reads: I would love another form like this but specifically for what neurodivergencies people give each side, I’d love to see the data on that

The second one reads: you can do anything you want with characters, they aren’t real, and it isn’t unethical to portray them how you want! in the same way people draw the sides to look physically different from irl thomas, people are going to headcanon their internal lives differently too

End Image ID.

To the first person! That's such a great idea, and I'd love to do it when I have the time/energy for it, maybe sometime this summer?

To everyone who took the time to respond, thank you so much! Your answers have been very insightful, and it was really enjoyable doing this! I hope you all have a wonderful day!

[siriuslysatorusimping]

Kiko I hope you had a great first day at your new job!!!! And I hope the shit weather we're getting in Louisiana isn't hitting your part of your state cuz boy am I not having fun anymore lol. I have 2 things to bug you with on this Tuesday morning- I do have a teeny tiny lil Goinko ask: I am so curious to hear Gojo's inner dialogue when he's watching Rinko fight. Like the genuine sorta oh shit she's tough, oh shit she aint weak, Jesus what a badass... I'm gonna fuck her xD The second- I have been toying with the idea of writing my own fanfic with my own OC and um... I can't seem to start. I have a decent idea of the general plot, no clue how it will end, but I open up Word, type two words, and then close the program. Idk if I need advice or encouragement lol but I look up to you a lot as a writer so I decided to make it your problem too 😅

RAI, HELLO! 💕

I did have a great first day! It was long and exhausting, but in a good way! 😊

The weather has just been kinda cold and foggy. Like, my drive home today was very foggy. Could barely see at all. But other than that, it. hasn't been too bad!!

YOU ARE NOT BUGGING ME BUT I WILL PLAY ALONG 😂

My answers are below the cut!!

Gojo's inner monologue when he sees Rinko fighting? 🤔🤔

In a few situations, he's super smug that she's doing so well because he knows she doesn't even realize or acknowledge how strong she actually is. So when she's just destroying something, he's all cocky and proud of her. It reminds him how much he loves her because she can take care of herself. One of the things he's always appreciated about her is that she doesn't let her insecurities or pride get her into situations that are too much for her to take. She's not arrogant. She doesn't show off. She's just there to get the job done. But that's what makes it so sexy to him.

So when he sees Rinko fighting, he's literally just like, 'That's my girl. So sexy and strong. I love her so much. Ass looks incredible, too. And she needs to hurry because as soon as she wraps this up, she's mine. Wonder how pissed she'll be if I just take her here-' because he's a horny boi who always wants to be inside her 😂😂

Advice for how to start with your fic?

Don't try to start from the beginning. Start somewhere in the middle, and work from there. The ending doesn't have to be established right away, either. That can develop as you figure out the story! But as for how and where to start, anywhere. Have a random bit of dialogue? Start with that. It doesn't have to stay in the end, but having something there will really help you. Write nonsense. Write ideas. Concepts. Anything to get those juices flowing. Because nothing is more daunting than a blank page.

Two things I saw recently made me realize that I already did these things most of the time:

Writing choppy, maybe cheesy or dumb dialogue. You can fill in the rest later, or not at all. You can change it up or edit it, but cutting and editing, or even re-writing, is easier than getting yourself to write the initial draft.

"You look like shit." "Sure know how to charm a girl, huh?" "You'd be more pissed if I lied to you." "True." "Still look awful, though." "Fuck off."

You don't have to put markers or indicators because it's a first draft. First draft and final draft are rarely going to match, and that's okay. Preferred most of the time, actually. But yeah, just toss that dialogue down to help you get started and then go from there!

Start with notes or random shit about what you want to happen. Some people put it in brackets to describe the setting, scene, or character's actions so that they can continue writing without being bogged down by the pressure to figure out the rest perfectly.

I'll provide an example or two from a WIP of the lockout key idea dump I posted a while ago. (I make no promises that I'll ever finish or post this, but it's the best example I could find that doesn't spoil a bunch of stuff for the other stories)

[he comes to ask for a key even though he's already maxed out his number of lockout keys. he ends up trying to lean in closer and she shoves a cookie in his mouth instead] - this one is a general idea and one thing I definitely want to happen in that scene/snippet

[fire drill in the middle of the night forcing everyone outside until the alarm stops going off. he forgets his key because he had to rush out while he was half-asleep.] - this one is describing the primary setting for the scene/snippet: they're outside, he's very sleepy, and he forgot his key.

All in all, don't be afraid of being random and choppy for your first draft!

I hope this advice helped, Rai! I'm afraid I might have babbled a bit... 🙃

IT WAS GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU. I HOPE YOU'RE WELL!! 💕💕💕💕

[illegiblehandwriting1]

lowkey in the middle of planning an angst Sky fic (sky and warriors centric, ghirahim involved) any advice for writing?

*SCREAMS* that sounds AWESOME my dude!!!

um. uhhhhhhhh shit. writing advice??? i can try????? idk what sort of advice you want or need

what i do is i say "ok heres what i want in this chapter. this is the Big Idea." maybe there's two Big Ideas. maybe there's more. but if i know where i'm going, and i know how the fic ends, then it's easier to figure out how i want to get there. you don't even need a clear-cut ending!! you don't need specifics, you can just say "this is generally how i want these guys to be" but you can't start mapping without a destination, in both a chapter and the fic as a whole. that's pretty much what i've learned

if you want character advice, what i do is break them down into their parts and show myself "this is what happened to them, this is how they reacted, which means that they have this kind of mentality and these attributes" idk also just look at how other people portray them lol. if you don't like that, go hog wild, i guess!

if you're writing a character in pain, i reblogged a post a bit ago about it that i actually found really helpful (it honestly might still be in the queue hold on a sec, yes it was in the queue here ya go) i also have the messiest fucking tagging system, but i might have some stuff in #writing things

and just in general, have fun with it!! don't think that you need to check any specific boxes. say "fuck it" out loud, with a giant smile on your face, and let yourself write. imagine what you want to explain, and then put that feeling, or that place or person or thought into words (just make sure you take care of yourself, especially when writing angst lmao). Seriously!! there is no obligations, it's just you and what you want to create

and don't beat yourself up. chances are, it will be better than you give yourself credit for.

(also btw your fic sounds really really really cool, if you could tag me or send me a link if you publish it, i would be forever indebted to you because that is SUCH a cool story idea and i'm gonna go feral over it, i love that SO MUCH)

if you have any other questions, or you want advice on something else more specific that i didn't talk about, don't hesitate to ask!! idk how valuable my advice is, but i'll try my best if you really want it. a lot of this is just stuff i do, i don't really know if it makes sense or if it's useful or anything, but i like helping, so if this helps, then awesome!

hope you're doing well!!!

[blocksruinedme]

Okay so this is what I decided not to post on an ask about Jimmy's namemc skin spoiler

but then left some of the text there!!!!! Incredibly embarassing! so now that i've accidentally put part of this out... here you go.

Scar loves Buff Scar, right? We all love Buff Scar. But I get emotional about the buff scar skin, for bummer reasons??? I would up talking about Buff Scar on the ask post and it turned into me finally writing out thoughts I've been having about myself and my health and... what I feel when I think about Scar? I say I "have health issues" and I have no looked up any definitions of "disabled" and idk that I do... physically it's mostly chronic pain and bad GI stuff (seeing a new specialist next week!)

But this personal and it's kinda heavy and I wasn't sure if I was going to post this, and it's... talking about another person's health while talking about my own, so I'm going to put this behind a cut. I don't want this thrown in anyone's face, and I think it's the most vulnerable thing I've posted on this account. And the first time I've ever turned off reblog.

I often get weirdly emotional about buff Scar, cause that image? That is something he must have have and lost. From hearing about his swimming career as a kid/teen, fuck. My dude would have been BUFF in the chest and arms and also shirtless a ton.

He was only 16 when he first got sick, I had thought it was 18 for some reason. It's nothing compared to Scar's situation, but I have a lot of health issues and... I don't think I project, I emphasize but it's more, idk that it's representation but maybe a little, honestly I don't know what it is, but I expected hearing him talk about his stuff hits different for me than most people who are fully able bodied. It just does stuff to me.

I watched part 2 of his imp & skizz podcast recently, and it's the most I've ever heard Scar talk about himself. People can get really weird when talking/thinking about other people's health, and I don't want to be doing that, but it was very emotional to listen to him talk about his dreams and plans that his health got in the way of. It's not like I'm in a wheelchair, but there's a really major thing in my life I can't do because of my health and I'm grieving it still. It's only been two years, and I'm doing my fucking best to not dwell and live the life I can have instead, but fuck. It's genuinely a really big deal (that I am not at all ready to talk about outside close friends.)

mood shift! i wrote this out of order and i'll cry if i keep dwelling on it.

A friend told a little anecdote about people (lovingly) commenting on Scar's choices about health and his creative work, and I did not react as they expected. I go (internally) ballistic when people say that kind of thing to me, like how I shouldn't write if I have a bad pain day?? Do not tell me how to manage my pain! This is my life and my body and you can never understand it, I barely can. I do not want to be infantilized, ever, but especially when it comes to managing the parts of my life that suck the most. Sometimes we take risks with our health because we decide it's worth it, because you have to have joy in life, not just life. Every time I get in the car I'm risking my life, y'know? If writing gets me through pain, that's what it does! And that's not even risky. (I spent 6 hours in the ER working on "whatcha gonna do?" because i was going to go insane sitting there waiting to find out if I had a stroke (i didn't)).

So we people with ill health have to figure out how to balance things. There's no "I'll wait till I'm healthy to do that", it's not like we're got a stomach virus. Everything is a compromise. If someone wants to finish uploading a video before they go to the hospital, maybe it's because of an skewed life/work balance, or maybe they're putting their self worth in places-some-people-would-call-wrong, or maybe they just don't want to worry about the fucking video and get the joy of "i've just put up a thing" while going off into a shit situation. I don't know! You don't know! "Put your health first" is pretty complicated, actually, when your health is *never* going to be "good" and there's too many options and you can't know what might work. People will sometimes hear something that's going on and say "are you going to go to the doctor?" and it's like... I can't go to my pcp everytime something like this happens cause then I'll be in all the damn time. It's not worth it. I am getting some kind of medical care every week.

When I went to the ER... so I had a really weird episode that might have been a migraine but the symptoms didn't quite match up with the general list and were concerning. All the symptoms went away after I laid down. I eventually got convinced to go to the ER to get checked out - and then, do I run out the fucking door in my workout clothes? Do I pack up stuff I want to have? Do I do that but also take ten minutes to eat something? What's the right choice? In the end everything was fine, but I'm always happy to get some clean imaging to have in my file. (in this case, brain mri and brain ct scan, w/ & w/o contact. the mri tech said i should get a frequent customer punch card when i said it was my 5th time in that mri. lost my shit. it's been <1/year but still.)

Scar talked about how early on they were chasing the cure and then you get to the point where... doesn't look like there's going to be a cure, this is fucking forever, and it fucking sucks. A friend just got that yesterday with a chronic fatigue syndrome diagnosis, and... now they know this is it. I'm still chasing a cure, or a way to keep things in remission, with my god damn gut biome. My current GI MD said "this is all i can do" and for some reason I let that stay? I never would have let a friend just give up - but I wasn't thinking of it that way. It is SO HARD to go and advocate for more medical care when you have so many things going on.

To be super clear i 100% think of myself as "barely in chronic pain" and "not really chronically ill" and "definitely not disabled".

Anything can become normal. For good, for ill, for weird.

Anything can become normal.

[unreadpoppy]

Poppy's handy guide to fic commenting - by a fic author who struggles with IRL social anxiety

If you follow me, you've probably seen me talking about people leaving comments on fics.

I try not to sound like a broken record about it so to keep it simple: me like comments. Comments help my self depricating ass believe i'm actually good at this. Comments give me dopamine boost. Dopamine boost gives me enough energy to write more fic.

And also, the reason I like leaving and receiving comments it's because it gives me a real sense of connection. A sense of builduing community with other people.

But, I know that commenting can be very intimidating for a lot of folks. There's a lot of people that talk about 'idk what to say' 'what if the author doesn't like it' and I decided to write this little post to help people who maybe want to leave more comments but are apprehensive about it.

And trust me, I know that it can be hard. I got social anxiety and it took me a long time to figure out commenting, but the truth is, most authors will appreciate your comments, regardless of what you say (as long as you're not been an asshat).

So, here's some stuff to help you put organize your thoughts into a nice little comment. Also, I'm gonna type some examples that are slighlty based on real comments I've left on fic, but remember, you can write stuff however you like.

Method 1: Specifics.

Many times when I'm reading a fic, I'll like a very specific scene, or how the author handled a certain subject. Maybe it's the characters dynamic, or maybe just one phrase that completely broke me. Regardless, this is a type of comment where you're gonna focus on that one specific thing you really liked.

If it's a line that you liked, you could quote that line again and add how it made you feel.

Ex.: "In a world where you wouldn't choose me, i'd still choose you" OOF that line BROKE ME/ made me cry

If it's a scene, you could lightly described it.

Ex.: Oh my god, the part where he took her hand and comforted her??? amazing

You could even just copy paste the whole scene you liked and add your own little commentary on it, giving your insight on to what you interpreted (which is something that i've received as comments in the past!)

I like these types of comments because you can go in depth on something you particularly enjoyed a lot, or you can just easily and in a very short manner show a detail you liked. To me, it shows me that whoever wrote the comment was paying attention to the fic and I can see what they really liked about it.

Method 2: Overall

So this is the opposite of the specifics. Maybe the whole fic was just so good, you struggle with poiting out just one thing you loved. In my opinion, the best way to tackle this looks something like this:

Ex.: I love this fic/chapter! The character dynamic, the descriptions, the dialogue, everything was just soooo good!

Ex.: Aaaaa this chapter/fic was amazing, I loved every single part of it!

You can point out a few key elements but you dont have to go into much detail, showing that everything was truly stellar, or you can just go the compliment route . I like these comments because they are short and very sweet, and they give me a lil warm feeling. They're like the little boost that comes in handy.

Method 3: The Simple Ones

These are even shorter but just as sweet. Maybe you loved the fic but can't articulate well. Don't let that stop you from commenting! These will make a writer just as happy because you cared enough to leave something. These comments come in various types.

Like the keysmash

Ex.: Ç0ERHMJ´2¢JIOÇRFNJRKJE AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

(which can be interpreted as crying screaming throwing up)

The two words:

Ex.: Lovely chapter!

Ex.: Loved this!

Ex.: Amazing work

These are very good at getting the point across that you liked what you read.

Now, remember that when commenting you can go as long or as short as you want. You can give a page lenght in depth analysis on to why this fic is the best work of fiction you ever read or just a simple heart emoji to show the author that you care.

I think the best way to think about commenting is that it doesn't have to be this big thing. Imagine you're just...texting a friend, about something you liked. You can be a little unhinged. Authors are social animals and we crave connection (and also to be able to talk to otherd about our work) and comments are a great way to do that. Like, I guarantee, I try to reply to most if not all comments I get, because I do genuinly want to talk to people about this thing I poured my heart into writing.

So yeah, I hope this helps you guys, and may we comment even more in 2024.

[mylittlesecrethaven]

I Watched Everything Everywhere All At Once: Pt 3

My goodness are there gonna be a lot of parts to this.

Let's go I guess.

So, this is also kinda a big thing, but Idk if a lot of people got the symbolism. (that makes it sound like I'm calling everybody stupid.... Welp...)

Joy's followers are kind of (imo) a metaphor for people that get pulled into depressive states.

I know that when I'm in an extremely depressed state (for whatever reason), I have a habit of pulling people into it. This, in turn, makes them like me, in a depressive state.

In a way, that's what Joy's followers are. They've been pulled into Joy's feelings and can't escape. Evelyn almost suffered the same fate, and we can see her struggling while she slowly gets pulled into the depression (the bagel) that Joy has.

On a different note, we see Joy trying to bring Evelyn with her "into the bagel," or into the depressive state with her. She's doing this because she wants someone to feel what she feels, so that maybe she won't be alone or so that maybe she'll be able to get some help on how to deal with herself.

That's why she's trying to hunt Evelyn down in all the universes, so that she can finally find the one she can pull down with her so she's not alone, or maybe just finally get someone to help her (although, she won't understand she just wants help).

While I haven't heard this type of tactic from a lot of depressed people I've been around, and I honestly don't try to pull people into a depressed state alongside myself (although, it's happened), I have done things as a call for help.

I should have put a TW before all of this, but it's here for this entire paragraph. Anyway, I used to do a lot of self-harm when I was feeling extremely depressed. I didn't cut myself, mainly because I still lived with my parents, but I'd scratch my arms until they bled and had scars and I'd chew my tongue apart and bite out chunks of it, just so that maybe someone would see my pain and might help me. (It was also a calming method, and I didn't realize it was a cry for help until later in my life)

But basically, (that entire last paragraph was very selfish and I apologize) Joy just wants help and doesn't want to be alone, so she's trying methods to call out for help, even if she doesn't realize it.

Last thing for this post, but in the movie, we can see Joy (and Evelyn I guess) get triggered by very small things.

Now, for context, I watched some of this movie with my dad, and he thought that when Joy and Evelyn were freaking out over the small things, they were overreacting.

And I'd have to say he's wrong on that account.

When you're stuck in your head and/or overwhelmed with the world around you, you are a literal time bomb. The littlest thing can set you off, and it can be devastating for you and those around you.

And we can see this when Joy gets upset or when Evelyn is still trying to figure out the depressive state she's falling into.

So, yeah. That's this part. I talked about myself more than I meant to (or wanted to), so I'll try not to do that in the next part.

I'm almost done with this multi-post series, so soon I'll be able to stop reliving past depressive times just to figure out parts of this movie.

Woohoo I guess.

[tomwambsgans]

man, i like your blog and shit but if you're having ocd meltdowns whenever someone has a different interpretation of the characters, it makes engaging with you kinda impossible. it's a small fandom and is getting smaller each day, don't spend half of your time complaining about other people's fics and posts and then act surprised when the vibe sucks

is this solely in response to that one recent late-night rant i posted? bc i'm getting the sense that this may also be about posts on my main, and if it is, then tbqh i'm gonna say that i need somewhere to vent for venting's sake or else i'll go even more insane. so like, i'll concede that maybe i should just remove my main url from my blog bio or something. but other than that, i try genuinely hard to keep my fr meltdowns to myself and, when i make meta posts on here that are fueled by the motivation to reassure myself, to still cite my sources and whatnot and put real meat in the posts bc it's really important to me to not feel like i'm talking out of my ass. and also to make posts that other people will want to see. my recent more personal posts about it are bc lately i'm not having a good time re: ocd and i genuinely kind of cannot tell how insane i look to other people. like, i want to know so that i can figure out how to get back to semi-normal.

i'm also really never actually Surprised about the vibe sucking btw (and i'm not saying that that's how i would even describe my feelings. just like, if we're calling it that), i'm just frustrated. i do try very hard to avoid seeing things that make me upset and to balance that with trying to maintain passion (by keeping this blog active), and that leaves me with bare bones. i'm well aware that i'm the one with The Problem, and i promise i hate it more than anyone else possibly can. i really don't try to make it anyone else's problem. ntm the vast majority of my ocd shit is kept off of here and stays entirely in my brain, so like, the "meltdowns" you've seen are kinda nothing lol.

on a more intellectual vein, i do wanna say that like half of all succession meta posts i ever see (especially the very good ones) are in some way covert responses, with some amount of disagreement, to other people's takes. it's like how scholars are all constantly arguing with each other. i don't personally feel the need to cultivate a fandom space where no one ever has their feelings hurt and all interpretations are only ever publicly regarded as equally valid in order to avoid it, or anything. fandom is for fun but it's obviously also a minefield of people with hyperfixations/special interests/ocd. it sucks when that seemingly winds up dividing an already small fandom, but my thing is that i am not going to have a good time in fandom if i restrict myself from one of the most beloved human pasttimes that is complaining. man i really don't even drop names when i do, i just describe general takes that i disagree with and give my own, thoroughly backed-up stance. i even admitted in that post that "i'm fighting a mostly imaginary person." if someone feels like it's about them and that really bothers them, they can unfollow/block and then go complain about me if they need to. the world is kind of beautiful that way.

i hope this all doesn't come off as hostile by simple virtue of being a long response, i just wanna hit every possible point and don't wanna risk being misunderstood. it's kinda my thing. and like, obviously i don't want to needlessly alienate people who otherwise like my posts, which you said you do. but also your message feels kinda hostile so if i do sound hostile i hope it's in a way that makes us even. idk who you are, you could easily be someone i've had conversations with and who I'll talk to more in the future, having no idea that you sent me this, and i think that's beautiful too. it's a wonderful thing that you can anonymously say something harsh to me, whoever you are, and not do any damage to whatever relationship we may have. i'm pressing our foreheads together. i forgive you. anyway i'm gonna delete that personal ocd post because it's paranoid and kind of self-destructive and embarrassing in hindsight. but my general nature will not change except incrementally so let's hope for the best ig