#In my canon tho he did actually die there

[joejhang]

i read die free or die a failure.

spoilers ahead !!! these are my thoughts and i'm a yapper.

THINGS I LIKED (in no particular order)

andrew. (i feel like i really enjoyed his characterisation even tho it wasn't accurate. like it still felt sort of like him just like he was more vocal??? more expressive??? idk like his real personality was all there. i feel like he didn't really do anything that canon andrew wouldn't do, he just did it more openly. i love the way he handled neil and i love his smartass comments he genuinely made me laugh. and yeah protective andrew is near and dear to my heart)

kevin-neil dynamic (i would include jean in this but i hate to say it i feel like jean didn't quite fit in the narrative. like he was just there. but he didn't have a LOT of personality. it's fine tho we have tsc and that's enough for me. anyway. i loved kevin and neil's sibling dynamic it was SO funny i think they deserve to have more silly brotherhood moments in canon. i also liked how the author rlly deepened their relationship and there were a lot of layers to their bond)

SETH (i'll say it till the day i die seth deserved better. i feel like dfodaf perfectly illustrates how seth could've been if he had been allowed more time and a redemption arc. maybe it was a little rushed but i LOVED the way he became like a protective older brother to neil and actually learned about his mistakes and was willing to own up to them. GOD he had so much potential)

martyr!neil (IDK I KNOW IT'S TOXIC IT WAS JUST REALLY REALLY WELL DONE. it's not completely in line w canon neil's personality tbh but i feel like the author just got one of neil's key personality traits (a penchant for self-sacrifice and getting into near death situations) and just exaggerated for narrative purposes. which i can respect. and i just genuinely think neil is the bestest boy and this is probably very similar to what he could've been like if he had grown up in the nest)

andreil build up (i say build up bc that's the part i loved most abt their relationship in this fic. like it just felt very right for them to be together romantically after everything they went thru in this fic together. and i feel like andreil is a difficult ship to rewrite and make good bc of how well nora developed the intimacy and trust between them but this fic did it right. like the amount of trust they had in each other rlly warmed my heart!!! and i'm honestly a bit of a traditionalist and i like to stick to the canon but i think within the context of this fic their relationship was developed perfectly and paced perfectly. it just felt like the final piece in the puzzle slipped into place when they actually officially got together. like it just made sense. bc they already had that pre-existing foundation of trust and consent and they already knew each other really well. and their banter!!! it was so well written and funny. they had GREAT chemistry. they cooked w this one)

THINGS I KINDA DIDN'T LIKE (no hate!!! i'm just a natural hater and these r just some criticisms)

neil. (SORRYYYY i just can't stand when they mischaracterise my boy!!!! i feel like it kind of is a personal preference but reading this fic didn't really feel like i was reading neil. i think in the first half it was fine and i wasn't bothered by it too much but by the second half it kind of took me out of the narrative. like the neil i know and love isn't this vocal or this open about like...anything. like i just felt like neil in this fic was just very like out there and a lot louder and more...talkative??? than neil in canon. and i think it bothered me a lot bc one of the things i love most abt neil is his quiet (until he's not) personality. like he's really chill and just isn't as like vocal as he was in this fic. again it's probably just me, but i just feel like the neil characterisation in this fic didn't feel quite right to me)

the dialogue (not all of it but a lot of it i remember being like oh ok. like it felt a little too...like blunt??? like the dialogue felt kind of jarring bc i feel like real ppl wouldn't speak like that. a lot of the conversations felt kind of awkward (this isn't me imposing my own like preferences onto this fic even within the narrative it didn't feel right) and i feel like a lot of what aftg does right in terms of writing is showing not telling the characters' thoughts and feelings whether thru actions or expressions. but in this fic it kind of felt like the characters were all just saying exactly what they were thinking and feeling and experiencing at all times and it kinda took me out of the story)

ok that's it. the things i liked outnumbered the things i disliked but the things i disliked were some pretty big things. STILL. i digress. i think writing such a long and complicated fic abt such a well-loved piece of writing is such a skill and i think the author did great even if there were things i personally didn't love about it. go read it PLEASE so i can discuss this w ppl. CHECK TW!!! there are a lot and this fic is very dark and very heavy and difficult to read at times. anyway. props to the author i had a great time.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/31265498/chapters/77287217

[kakusu-shipping]

The year is 2022 and I am a little guy legally married to Makarov Dreyar of the Fairy Tail Guild, as 13 year old me would have wanted.

Self Insert and just straight up Making Things Up about Fairy Tail Lore beneath the cut

So, in the world of Fairy Tail I am a Vampire, pushing 600 years old. I’m lifting a lot of this from young mes original self insert which pushed the Immortal Loli/Shota trope, so I am Makarov’s 3′nothing size.

The rest of this is more origonal

In his 600 years, Emile became the (to his knowledge) last living pure blooded vampire, as much like Dragons, Vampires were eventually hunted to near extinction by humans after catting and feeding of them for so long.

Emile survived due to his small stature and young appearance, keeping humans from believing him to be the immortal creature of the night that had been feeding from their village for years.

Now alone, Emile travels the continent, avoiding staying in one place for too long, inventing Magic Items such as The Magicmobile to assist humans, and gather a growing wealth deposited in banks across the land.

To gain access to these springs of wealth, however, he has to be a legal citizen of the country he is currently staying it. As he can’t exactly claim to be the 100+ year old original opener of the account, he instead has to play the decedent. Starting first with forged documents, he puts himself in schools, moving every other grade to avoid suspicion as he doesn’t age or grow, and ending with a big of Marriage Fraud to solidify his residency, and gain access to his accounts.

This is how he ended up with Makarov Dreyar, after all the Fairy Tail guild seems to rack up a lot of repair bills, would be rather nice to have someone with plenty of spare wealth to pay it all off.

Emile, as an ancient being, has a lot of deeper understanding of magic than most in the guild. In his time he’s had the space and practice to master most types of magics, only Celestial Magic still eludes him.

He’s more than happy to spread this magic onto others, teaching Cana card magic, Erza her requip spells, helping Mira and Elfman perfect Take Overs, he even implanted the Lighting Dragon Lacrima in Laxus when he was a mere toddler.

Early in Emile’s life in the guild he saw no problem teaching such young children dangerous magics. So long as he’d lived, he knew of human’s short life spans. Keeping the Guild strong mattered more than keeping the kids safe. Sending them on jobs alone, charging them jewel for food or rent around the guild seemed fair. They’re old enough to be part of a guild they’re old enough to work and pay for their rights to stay.

Until Lisanna died.

He hadn’t really thought himself attached to this kids, Makarov’s kids, until he stood beside him at Lisanna’s funeral, staring at a tombstone with such a young age on it.

He did that.

He let a child go on an S class quest. He taught a child dangerous magics. He told Makarov they’d be fine on their own.

Rules changed soon after. Minors were no longer allowed on S Class Quests at all. Minors also were not allowed to take monster hunting jobs without an adult in the party. S Class Quests were moved upstairs and fewer of them were accepted.

Emile started making magic items for everyone in the guild on top of making Erza’s armor and weapons. Just something to help them on quests, a little something to lean on, to keep them safe, to hold on to.

He tries not to be too protective over the kids, he knows they’re goo wizards and can handle themselves. But they’re also just so squishy, humans with such short life spans always running head first into trouble.

He understands why Makarov went bald so quickly now.

[vargaslovinghours]

Y’all are being subjected to my Sims 2 tests, so there

The other set of Vargases came over for a visit and Scriabin picked up Shmee and started talking to Scriabin through him. Very normal, very usual

I downloaded some circle-glasses recolours and hghghh they look so good! Closer every day to his final details! Getting ever closer!

Edgar too! I made him a custom hair with a lighter undercut - I’m mostly happy with it, probably could’ve shifted it a shade closer to his skintone but the texturing was weird no matter what :P And his stripey shirt! I wish Body Shop didn’t have that hands-on-hips pose lol, it looks so much better in-game, but that’s all the better :)

I got some new clothes for Todd as well! As soon as I saw this ‘fit I was like “Oh that’s 100% Todd there he is.” Scriadad hug ♥ So cute

Foot-dancing together stopp it’s so cute!!

The way he looks at them stoppp <3 <3 They kept doing this right up til they left for home haha, Todd’s giggles are the cutest

Used SimPE to save him to the Body Shop, I now have infinite copies of The Boyyyy ♪

Moved him in with his “parents” as just shadow people basically, they’re not gonna matter in a bit as long as I remember how to get the Social Worker/Adoption process to work properly. Get her Todd!!

Wanna play? :D

Menacing :(

Look, Todd, your new dads are here! Initially I wasn’t sure who I wanted to adopt him, got lots of options; the first passes, the married couple with their own Todd, Johnny?? He definitely doesn’t have the facilities for a child lol But these are the ones that showed up on their own, so the married Vargases are the winners!

Scriabin cares more about him than his actual parents ;; A stranger off the street shows him more care! Not that it’s a high watermark

Look at him being a good dad!

Weh, he just wants friends ;; Poor baby

Best timeline, thank you

While we wait for CPS, let’s get some other interactions in! Nny is mean so he tended to prank the other two with a nose flick - mostly Edgar lol ♪ Now kiss

“Oh please don’t break all my bones~ :3” I love Todd looking up at them haha <3

Pffft, I think he was talking about the other Scriabin and just how attractive he is. Classic Scriabin. Alternatively, also funny to imagine him bragging himself up about how he’s just so handsome that Edgar can’t help but love him hahaha ♪

Allow me to tickle you with my KNIFE! >:D

Get a load of this guy lol

He ended up passing out at one point - I forgot which motives make CPS show up >.> - and completely 0%’d his comfort, but for some reason stargazing increased it?? It’s the same ground wh

Is two not enough to satisfy your butterfly bloodlust child?? He ended up with three, I had him release them before he was picked up by the Social Worker - success!

He rolled a new Want as soon as Todd was taken away - “Wants to see Ghost of Todd” Woah, dark! :0

And here he is on the married Vargases’ lot!! Success!! I did it right!! Heck yeah! :D Unfortunately they were uh, indisposed at the time. Good job guys pft

Goes right for Shmee, he really is Todd <3

[lecliss]

I've still been fucked up ever since I found out that(according to an actually plausible timeline), Konoha has only existed for like 90-something or whatever years??? It's not like. Fucking 200 years old or whatever. And that Madara died when he was 74 but he had himself hooked up to, fuckin what was it??? The Gedo statue?? A tree?? Whatever. In order to keep himself alive and you look at him all old and crusty and think he's like. Over a hundred at least. But no, that man's 74. He's just an average fucking grandpa!!! And Hashirama had been dead for a LONG while, so he actually died pretty young all things considered. And that also means Mito died like. Fuckin. I'm guesstimating here but in her 60s I guess???? But it's a significant thing that the Uzumakis have longer than average lifespans so like. What the fuck is the average life expectancy in Naruto for this bullshit to make sense???

[sunderwight]

Much as I love the idea of PIDW being rife with terrible porn tropes and interesting (if contrived) erotic writing conventions, all actual evidence in canon would seem to indicate that apart from some sex pollen and "uh oh, the protagonist has gone into a fugue state, whatever shall calm him down?" type stuff, it was fairly vanilla.

Like, that's part of both Shen Yuan and Airplane's frustration with it, I think. It's full of sex and it's not even sex either of them enjoy the concept of. Airplane was fully just trying to pander to an audience he felt he knew and could manipulate, but not one either he nor his ultra mega hate reader were actually part of.

Not that they understood that themselves at the time.

I mean I know fandom likes to make Airplane less closeted than Shen Yuan (for a lot of reasons), which I support, but I feel like in canon at least... he didn't cotton on to Luo Binghe's change in interests at first either. It wasn't until he was watching his protagonist obsess over resurrecting Shen Qingqiu at any cost that the light started to dawn. For Shang Qinghua, also, many more years have passed since he was back in their original world. He's had more time to reconcile himself to certain ideas.

What glimpses we get of the person he was before he died, was reborn, and lived a whole other life well into adulthood, would seem to indicate that he probably wasn't much better than Shen Yuan back when he was writing.

I mean he probably was still BETTER (the bar is on the floor), like I bet he could have a fantasy featuring Mobei Jun without having an existential crisis or pretending it didn't happen, but he would have probably been like "wow I guess I've been writing so much m/f porn that I can't even enjoy it anymore and my brain had to come up with something else, anyway Mobei would make a hot chick tho, I'm gonna write one of his cousins as Binghe's next wife" and gotten on with things.

Basically I guess what I'm driving at is that it would be funny if SQQ and SQH figured they had a solid handle on the kinds of sex pollen-y porn tropes to expect from the world (mostly just the occasional fuck-or-die that missionary can cure), only for the rug to get ripped out from under them because the system incorporated a bunch of stuff from Airplane's subconscious to fill out the gaps. Not even his notes. His daydreams and fantasies.

SQQ: what the hell?! PIDW didn't even have werewolves or tentacle porn monsters!

SQH, suddenly reminded of some very specific fap sessions: right?! this is definitely weird and in no way my fault! it must be because of the genre switch!

SQQ: *suspicious*

SQH: which is your fault! you made the protagonist gay! in fact it's probably your fault that I'm gay too now!

SQQ: bullshit. what did you do. was this in a draft?!

SQH: *sweating* I can say with absolute confidence that it was not! I never wrote anything like this!

SQQ: *having a crisis now because maybe he DID accidentally cause the monsterfucker stuff and he desperately doesn't want anyone to realize that he's actually into it*

SQH: *continuing to sweat because the world is consistently manifesting content from his personal spank bank and if cucumber ever figures that out he's a dead man*

[chuuyasheaven]

bsd men as tits ass or thighs pls :3?? (specifically meursault boys)

“Tits, Ass or Thighs— What do they prefer?”

“—Everybody’s got certain preferences, don’t they? So, what are theirs?”

Tags: Dazai Osamu, Fyodor Dostoevsky, Nikolai Gogol, Chuuya Nakahara, Sigma / afab! Reader, Nipple play?, ooc! Sigma, praising kink, degrading kink, overstimulation, pet names?, hdc format ig, thigh riding?, hickeys, mentioned lingerie?, spanking, mild brat taming, atp everyone may be ooc, face sitting, oral sex (afab! and m! recieving), titty job, messes of their milk, might contain grammar errors, this is a lot holy shit, etc.

Notes: Maybe u just meant Dazai, Fyodor and Chuuya but I added Nikolai and Sigma for funsies— hope this is okay tho!! And I never wrote for Sigma before so sorry if he’s so ooc. . Maybe he’s gonna be added to my list lol.

Dazai Osamu ;

💙 Thighs 💙

💙 I just know that he loves your thighs!! In my opinion, DAZAI lives for seeing you in thigh highs, especially if you have thick thighs. What do you mean you don’t wanna crush him with them??? What else are they made for then— oh, right, hickeys. It’s obvious that he’ll leave some marks here and there for fun, but another thing he lives about them is face sitting. This is literally the best way to die?!!? But also he lives to grab your thighs when he eats you out!!!

💙 Scenario;

He’s been at it for too long, you don’t even remember how many times you came already. . “Dazai, p–please. . S–sensitive!”, you tried to beg, but Dazai was way into this— Once you sit on this mans face, he won’t let go until your too sensitive, Dazai also always leave hickeys while he’s at it. Chanting how he would love to die this way, being crushed by your massive thighs. “—Why should I? You’re still talking properly, I won’t stop until you’re only able to moan my name. Now be a good girl, alright, ‘donna?”

Fyodor Dostoevsky ;

💙 Thighs 💙

💙 In all honesty, this man is a mystery for me– but if I would have to chose, thighs. FYODOR is kinda religious and stuff, meaning he’s definitely gonna be kinda traditional. (i do not know wtf I’m talking abt.) Fyodor doesn’t know what it is, but something about you in white lingerie and white thigh highs sets him off completely. Looking all innocent but being the complete opposite? Yes, absolute approval from him. But being the busy man he is, he’ll let you sit on his lap while he caresses your thighs!! :3

💙 Scenario ;

Seriously, how desperate are you? Walking up to Fyodor in white lingerie and white thigh highs while he’s obviously working? He finds it quite amusing how you think he’ll stop immediately to fuck you, no he won’t, yet. Fyodor just commands you to sit on his lap, now you’re getting off on his own thighs. But you’re still wearing panties, though he doesn’t care, you wanted this, didn’t you? As you keep grinding against it, he slapped your pussy through the fabric multiple times before. The small whines and whimpers are cute, but won’t change his mind to take you right now. “—I don’t really know what you expected me to do. . Well, actually, i did. It’s quite adorable how you think just because you’re desperate I’ll feed into your desires. Anyway, you seem to be getting off pretty easily, slut.”

Nikolai Gogol ;

💙 Tits 💙

Come on, this is so NIKOLAI, seriously. He's so silly, he would literally call them his personal stressballs. (Do not even try to deny it, it's canon.) Nonetheless, he likes to cum on them, Nikolai will make a mess out of them every time whenever you're giving him head. Another thing their useful for, in his opinion, is tit fucking!! It's a nice feeling for him when his dick's inside of your tits. Not to forget, your nipples are pretty fun to play with, but there's one last thing about them. .

💙 Scenario ;

There are many reasons why Nikolai adores you riding him! He loves how he barely has to do anything, hearing the adorable sounds leaving your mouth while you get off on his cock and most importantly, the way your tits bounce with you. All he's doing is laying back and enjoying the view of your tits almost bouncing out of your bra, he would love if they were to actually jump out. “—Hm, would you look at that! Your tits are seconds away to spill out of your bra, dove. I wouldn't mind if they did, maybe you just need to ride my dick faster. . Just like the needy whore you are.”

Sigma ;

💙 Tits 💙

I’m not really sure if it’s accurate, but running an casino ain’t easy. So what’s better than having you and your comfort. .—able tits? SIGMA would never admit it, but he loves them, dearly at that. If he ever needs an break, his head would probably rest on them. On the spicy side, he loves a good tit job. You mentioned this once and Sigma wasn’t against it, sure he was blushing over your suggestion but after he tried it, he loved it!!!

💙 Scenario ;

It felt good, really, Sigma loved your suggestion! He never thought of something like this, he never thought about recieving a tit job, but it felt heavenly. Just the way your tits were rubbing against his cock so good, it felt unreal. . The most beautiful whimpers left his lips, with his flushed expression on his face too, you assumed Sigma was enjoying himself, very. Soon he reached his climax, letting his cum leak on your tits. “—F–fuck. . You did s–so good, darling. Now, lay back and let me return the favor, yeah?”

Chuuya Nakahara ;

💙 Ass 💙

Ah, yes. CHUUYA is, in my opinion, an ass man. I saw a few people say that, and I agree. Like, he’s literally proud of that. He would slap your ass unexpected, respectfully though. He wouldn’t care if you’re carrying a bakery or not, he still slapping it!! Chuuya loves to spend money on matching bras and panties for you, but on your in general. Sometimes it gets to your head or something and you start to act out, which our ginger won’t let slide.

💙 Scenario ;

Lately, you’ve gotten on Chuuya’s nerves. Yeah, he loves to spend money on you and you, but he won’t stand you being bratty. As to right now, he’s ‘punishing’ you for it. The reference for ‘punishing’ is quite just fucking you until it’s stuck in your pretty little brain not to act out again. This time though, Chuuya added something to your punishment. . “Ch–chuuya. . ‘m sorry, I–i didn’t mean to—”, you tried to apologize, only to be silenced by another spank. “—Really? Too bad, you’re gonna take this if you want me to fuck you, baby. Just keep on taking f’me and I’ll fuck you soon enough, m‘kay?”

OH EM GEE YOU GUYS IT TOOK ME THREE DAYS TO FINISH

[mothmanssweetsucculentass]

ZZZ Headcanons

Help this game has taken over my free time I love these characters sm <3 Billy Soukaku and Ellen my beloved

Nicole: has a not so secret hobby of bedazzling anything and everything. It’s a real problem in the Cunning Hares apartment, nothing is safe from pink rhinestones and stickers

Anby: cracked at rhythm games to an alarming degree. Can do a 2 person extremely hard DDR song all by herself

Billy: I don’t know how they did it but they programmed an android with autism. Has his own version of a skincare routine which is basically just maintenance on all of his tiny mechanical parts. Can also gain power multiple ways, including solar power. The apartment complex where the Cunning Hares live had a blackout once and everyone used Billy as a personal charging port. Nicole promised to pay him in Starlight Knight merch.

Nekomata: cuts her own hair and offers to do it for other people. DO NOT trust her when she says she’s good at it

Grace: did gymnastics as a kid which is why she’s able to pull off a ton of backflips and flexible maneuvers in battle

Anton: uses actual cement to keep his hair spikes in shape. Koleda caught him in the act once and instead of chewing him out, she decided to apply some to her own hair and now they’re cement combover gang

Ben: is completely vegan and loves chilling at hot springs a lot. Still sleeps with stuffed animals btw

Koleda: I’m making it canon right now Koleda is trans and you can’t do shit about it. Also has welding as a hobby and made most of her accessories from scratch

Corin: when not in Victoria Housekeeping Co uniform, is a Jfashion junkie. I’m talking super dedicated Lolita fits, menhera inspired clothing, the whole shebang. She ofc designs a lot of her own stuff like her bear backpack and is also responsible for a lot of the accessories Victoria Housekeeping Co wears (Rina’s bows, Ellen’s shark jaw head and neckpieces, Lycaon’s eyepatch and tail straps). She also has a massive crush on Ellen and is too scared to admit it

Rina: has a fur allergy and can’t keep animals around. Which also means she’s allergic to Lycaon. She has to take so much Zyrtec before clocking in but has such a good poker face that Lycaon has no idea. Ellen knows tho

Lycaon: specifically wears the heeled boots and has his odd posture because he’s self conscious about his digitigrade legs, he thinks they’re unsightly for a butler of his standing to have. He also tries to encourage Ellen to wear a long maid dress like Rina does to hide her tail.

Ellen: coincidentally falls into a lot of shark stereotypes. She loves seafood, has to constantly be fidgeting or she feels like she’ll go mad, and the kicker, she gets frenzied around blood, or if the thing she’s fighting puts up a struggle. Corin accidentally cut her hand while repairing her saw blade once and both Lycaon and Rina could barely hold Ellen back once Corin began bleeding. Ellen feels awful for scaring the already timid girl. Corin secretly thought it was hot and would die on the spot if anyone knew that

Soukaku: despite being a huge foodie this girl cannot cook for shit. Is also physically cold to the touch and during the summer her coworkers will ask her to hold their drinks because they’ll stay cold. Soukaku always secretly sneaks sips every time they do this to her.

Miyabi: has the worst sleep schedule known to man. Sometimes you’ll find her awake at 3AM and conked out by 4PM, other times she goes to bed at 8PM and wakes up at 4AM. It’s inconsistent and irregular and a gamble trying to contact her outside of work because she might not even be awake

Harumasa: GAY GAY HOMOSEXUAL GAY. Also pretty cracked at chess and other strategy games. Is also a major old fashioned guy and doesn’t own a lot of modern technology. He’s not into retro or old stuff, he just doesn’t like new stuff

Yanagi: her glasses are fake. When she was younger she needed them, but her vision had naturally gotten better over the years, so she now wears contacts, but for some reason still insists on wearing her glasses. Loses them constantly during battle.

Lucy: even though she was forced to play piano as a kid, she really wanted to be a sporty girl and play stuff like soccer and baseball. Now she has the freedom to take part in the sports she likes and watch them surrounded by the people she likes

Piper: insanely picky eater to the point it drives Lucy up a wall. Is also picky about a lot of other things, like how different fabrics feel, different comfort levels of chairs and beds, girl is a complainer and will always find something to complain about

Lighter: has a side gig as a tattoo artist, has really stable hands too

Soldier 11: has 5 younger brothers, a younger sister, and 2 older siblings who she doesn’t see super often. Has divorced parents who also liked to adopt, which is why she has such a huge family. Her younger brothers love it when she comes home and plays secret agent military with them

Seth: can’t drive. That’s it send tweet.

Qingyi: is outwardly dismissive of meditation tricks and hacks and tips but utilizes that shit in private ALL the time.

Zhu Yuan: shares the vegetables she grows in her garden with all her neighbors. Is also a REALLY good cook to the point people have encouraged her to potentially consider a different career path

Jane Doe: the rat girl has pet rats go figure. But in all seriousness she’d die for her little guys. She has a white one named Cocaine and a brown one named Tobacco and a gray one named Crystal Meth. She thinks the names are hilarious and every time she introduces the rats to other people their facial expressions are priceless

[lubrumalis]

konig headcanons! (realistic)

tw: nsfw

all of these are realistic hc! dont expect a normal konig

hes NOT a shy awkward pushover, just because he has social anxiety??? we can see through his voice lines hes a very cocky person and speaks rather agressively

“lets be honest, its better off in my hands.”

i hc that just because konig has social anxiety, he doesn’t express this through bring soft and shy, he expresses it through his bluntness

konig wanted to be a sniper but did not because he couldn’t stand still, has social anxiety, i hc he has some form of adhd

his very cocky and blunt shouting isn’t because hes mean, but he just doesnt wanna be seen as that bullied kid he once was

hes doesnt have horrible EQ, but the kind of guy to be incredibly unfiltered

also, this guy was literally assigned as a human battering ram, you think hes all soft and sweet???😅😅😅

no he won’t get angry or cry if his mask is taken off. just annoyed.

its not actually canon that konig is a colonel (correct me if im wrong, i couldnt find anything on the official wiki) but lets assume hes one anyway

even if he isnt, gets paid well. really well.

private military companies that deploy soldiers in areas of active conflict can pay up to hundreds of thousands for one soldier

considering konigs age (late 30s at least) and skills, probably 400-500k a year.

chose to join the military because he had an obsession with tanks and guns as a kid

a lot of hc’s say hes 6’10. i disagree, simply based off of chances and the fact thats wayyyy too tall for the military

but he was described as a mountain, so id say his height is around 6’5-6’8

very very intimidating. hes tall big and has the mask of an executioner in the 15th century. who wouldn’t be scared?

definitely will say some random german word in a situation where no one else there knows german. he doesn’t give a damn lol

hates americans (thinks theyre all obese, mannerless, and bad at geography)

brings up the most random topics. again i really think konig has adhd.

konig was not good at school and hated it, mainly due to the anxiety and how he couldn’t pay attention

also why he chose the path of a soldier

drinks lots of beer, high alcohol tolerance, this guys a true european.

loves austrian or german food. loves schnitzel and pies.

konigs breakfast is literally sausages, toast, eggs, and sometimes beer

BIG APPETITE. he could eat for 3 people.

a little insecure about his appearance, not confident in his looks :( also why he hid his face

but as he grew older he uses the mask for actual purposes of concealing his identity, he is a special ops soldier after all

kind of a cheapskate. he chose to hide his face with what, polyester? chose a piece of cloth over everything else.

has very conservative beliefs. not to the point where he hates abortion and votes far right, konig is just a little confused about some things certain liberals believe in

pretty political person lmao

not enough info to conclude whether or not konig was abused as a kid tbh

he was definitely miserable for a period in his life. hes in the military living a monotone life, barely any contact with others, and constantly living in fear he’d die

i dont think hes as traumatized as ghost tho🙂🙂

konig appreciates his dna and how it makes him big and tall, but sometimes gets incredibly annoyed at it

mainly because well, he got bullied for itas a kid

because he specializes in hostage rescue a lot of hostages (especially kids) are scared of him and refuse to leave the area with him

takes a lot of convincing 🥲🥲

has a lot of intrusive thoughts

cannot use social media properly

also texts like an old grandpa. uses 😂 and 🤣 unironically.

“Can we have burgers 🍔 tonight🌃?”

probably uses a blackberry or reallyyyyy old iphone

relationship hcs:

konigs voice actor (jim boeven) stated in a livestream that konigs wife would ideally be a mix between maria pedraza (actress) and rachael from blade runner (character from movie).

both are 170cm ish and brunettes

i can actually see that—konig is massive and he probably prefers someone on the tall side

first thing you did that led to your relationship with him? you tolerated him that is. listened to him ranting😃

i can see him with a civilian or someone whos in the military tbh

finds you pretty at first

enjoys bickering, he needs someone to simulate his mind

you know those stories where his s/o is 5’2, clingy, soft af, and neeeeeeeds konig? haha you won’t be getting that from me.

unlike ghost, who really takes his time to get to know someone and opens up slowly, scared to have his trust broken again

konig charges in like the human battering ram he is😁

if he has a feeling you’re trustworthy you are trustworthy.

horrible at flirting. he doesn’t know how to talk to women smoothly

needs someone equally as weird and funny

s/o needs to be someone with very firm boundaries and can stand their ground, i think konigs a really stubborn person, so for a healthy relationship to work, s/o can’t be the generic bimbo

konig wears the pants in the relationship

doesn’t let you pay. he has a enough money and believes men should always pay

(im sorry to break your delusions) konig does not strike to me as someone who likes a docile homebody. thats ghost (if you remove the word docile).

he doesn’t like extremely dominant partners either

imagine someone who is a listener, accepting yet blunt, shares his quirks, and has a very elegant feel to them

also someone very independent

also gonna get killed for this but konig would realistically not go for a girl in her early twenties. he prefers elegance and sophistication over being cute and jumpy

hates one night stands.

values relationships more than you think. he can come off as strong at first, but hes trying his best

ecstatic when you tell him you wanna learn german (hes not a good teacher)

doesn’t like play fighting, he thinks he’s gonna accidentally hurt you

admires you a lot. he knows hes not the best looking person and doesn’t understand the makeup skincare dress up thing.

isn’t paranoid, but definitely doesn’t say he has an s/o

if you ever get mad at him, konig will tighten all jars in the kitchen so you have to ask him for help :)

extremely unfiltered. he hates your cooking? he will say it. that dress looks better than the other? he will say it.

[ronance4everbrainrot]

EEEEEEven more incorrect quotes! Merlin Academy Gang! AND MORE. Kinda long? Idk

(and ships)

Hook: Okay, who's turn is it to give the pep talk?

Uliana: It's Hades's turn.

Hades: Don't die.

Uliana, wiping a tear away: Truly inspirational.

(so beautiful 😭 I don't know how to explain, but this is canon now)

---

Maleficent : Now it's time for some witty back and forth banter. You go first.

Fay: *sobbing*

Maleficent : Look, I'm not sure where to go with that.

(She's used to her and Hades banter and fights. Fay still needs to get used to that)

---

Fay: What the hell is wrong with you?

Hades: I have this weird self-esteem issue where I hate myself but still think I’m better than everyone else.

(mm. Yeah.)

---

Hook: Goodnight to the love of my life, Morgie, and fuck the rest of y'all.

(just a normal day)

---

Morgie: *is throwing stones at Ella's window*

Ella: You have a phone for a reason, Morgie!

*THUD*

Ella: DID YOU JUST THROW YOUR PHONE AT MY WINDOW?!

(Love my little chaos goblin. He absolutely knew what he was doing)

---

Ella: Hey, I was wondering, have any of you guys ever seen Morgie’s bedroom?

Bridget: No, they refuse to let any of us visit. You know what that means.

Maleficent, nodding: Dungeon.

Hades, nodding: Rich.

Uliana , nodding: Homeless.

Ella, nodding: Secretly in the mafia.

Bridget: What? No, I meant they’re messy. What the hell is wrong with all of you?

(Hook not being there because he's in Morgie's bedroom right now. they are cuddling)

---

Ella: I apologize for saying 'fuck' in front of Bridget.

Fay: You just said it again.

Bridget:

Ella: I am not a role model.

(don't worry Ella. She knows worse. She just doesn't use them)

---

Bridget: Accidentally indulged in too much ‘free time’, turns out I’ve been reported missing for over six months and presumed dead by most local and national authorities.

(once she went back to wonderland and didn't text anyone anything. Just sulking in her feelings for Ella)

---

Hades: How do you do that?

Charming: I'm fearless.

Hook: I saw you run from bees yesterday. You flailed around and tripped over a chair. It was both hysterical and sad.

Charming: I'm mostly fearless.

(Mhm. But fair)

---

Bridget, on the phone: I better go…kay, call me later… byeeee!

Hook: Friend of Yours?

Bridget: Nope, wrong number.

Hook: ???

(Hey. She's not gonna pass on making new friends 🤷)

---

(add some glassheart)

Chloe: What do you call quantums of electromagnetic radiation that don’t get along?

Red: What did you just say-

Chloe: Foetons! *Laughs*

Red: Wh-what?

(love how Red is just confused. Chloe making puns/dad jokes. Canon, actually)

---

Ella: Please pray for Chloe.

Bridget: What happened to them?

Ella: Nothing, they’re just very stupid.

(not her own mother saying that (he doesn't know tho lol). But honestly that's after the vase incident.)

---

Red: Chloe, you're my best friend.

Chloe: Best friend? BEST friend?! Bitch, I'm your only friend.

Chloe: I'M THE ONLY ONE CAPABLE OF TOLERATING YOUR DUMB ASS!

(oop- true)

---

*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*

Morgie/Fay: Would never stab anyone.

Ella/Charming: Would stab someone in retaliation.

Hook/Maleficent: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.

Hades: Would stab without warning.

Uliana/Bridget: Would stab as a warning.

(I wanted to put Bridget in the last one lol. Like if someone went too far and hurt one of her friends she'd be like *stab* don't do it again or next time it will be worse)

---

Uliana: You know you've made it when you see your picture everywhere you go.

Bridget: Those are wanted posters!

(yeah. Still)

---

Maleficent: *looks at Hades*

Maleficent: Baby boy. Bad Boy.

Maleficent: *looks at Fay*

Maleficent: goody two shoes

(changed it a bit lol. Also Me just randomly shipped Maleficent and Fay because gay. Just a crack ship lol)

---

Red: I got an idea!

Chloe: Does it involve breaking the law?

Red: By now don’t you think that’s a given?

Chloe: I was just trying to be optimistic.

Red: Don’t bother.

(GOTTA GET YOUR HANDS DIRTY! UwU)

---

Chloe: You're not my friend anymore.

Red: I was your friend?

(Red. You just called her your best friend a few seconds ago! She's just trying to play it cool. She's screaming on the inside.)

---

Red: Sometimes I talk to myself for no reason.

Red: Me too!

(oh no. She's mad. PSST. I HAVE THREE ACCOUNTS ON DISCORD AND ACTED LIKE TWO OF THEM WEREN'T ME. I HAD CONVERSATIONS WITH MYSELF, BECAUSE NO ONE ELSE WAS ONLINE AND I WAS BORED 😭 I was very invested in my own dramas that I created. It also started with only two accounts 🫠)

---

Queen of Hearts, to Red: You're starting to forget your Spanish. You don't practice.

Red: Lo siento. Estoy embarazada.

Queen of Hearts: You just told me you're pregnant.

Maddox: Congratulations Red, you're glowing!

(Red can speak Italian and Spanish and also has a hidden British accent. There, my new headcanon)

---

(a little surprise)

Mal, staring lovingly at Evie: I would die for you.

Evie, doing their own thing: Then perish.

(Mal, you know not to interrupt Evie while she's working)

---

Mal: As a responsible adult-

Evie: *chuckles*

Mal: … As a responsible adult—

(Eeeviee, don't do Mal dirty like that. Even if you aren't wrong)

---

Evie: What do I get?

Mal: A night of fashion, mischief, mayhem, and possible death.

Evie: Ooh, check, check, and check; not sure about that last one.

Mal: It won't be you.

Evie: I'll get my coat.

(what are they planning o~o)

---

Cinderella: What’s your greatest weakness?

Red: Interpreting the semantics of a question, but ignoring the pragmatics.

Cinderella: Could you give an example?

Red: Yes, I could.

(why does it feel relatable even tho I don't remember actually having done that)

---

Red: I don’t care what anyone thinks about me.

Chloe: Ok.

Red: Wait, why such a muted reaction? Did that not sound cool?

(Same Red, same Qvq)

---

Red, digging their grave: Long story short, this is ma grave.......Want me to make you one too?

(Omg Hunter! Is that you? ✨ love the owl house 😭😭😭. This is making me think Red fucked up a mission from her Mom. Like Hunter did.)

---

Red: I’m going to get so much done today.

Queen of Hearts: I’ll hold you to that.

*8 hours later*

Queen of Hearts: So how much did you get done?

Red: One thing.

Queen of Hearts:

Queen of Hearts: Well, that’s one more than usual.

(QvQ me TvT)

---

Mal, at Evie: You're my significant other.

Evie: Yeah I am!

Mal, at Celia: You're my child.

Celia: Yes boss.

Mal, at Uma: You're my bitch.

Uma: Yeah I am- wait, what?

Mal, at Carlos: My bestie.

Carlos: Naturally.

Mal, Jay: HA, GAY!

Jay: Fuck you.

(Jay x Gil 🤸)

---

Chloe: Wow! Celia made you cry?

Red, holding back tears: Yes, and they said some really mean things that are only partly true.

(Daaamn. She can do that tho. Wow fr)

---

*at an awards show*

Chloe: Can I carry you on my back like Mal did?

Red: I don't think Evie would like that.

Chloe: *pouts*

*Later*

Chloe: *carrying Red on their back*

Evie: What the hell??

Red: What was I supposed to do? Say no?

(Evie was panicking over Chloe's suit/dress because she made it for her. Do not ruin her designs. She will not take responsibility for what happens after that)

---

This was gonna be longer but I shall post it now anyway.

Hope you liked it.

Byeee

[oh-no-its-bird]

Normal 'Izuna survives' au but he gets isekaid into canon founders era and doesn't notice for a week (everyone is convinced he's a ghost)

He literally lives in the same house as Madara but Madara acts like this is normal bc hes been hallucinating so this is clearly just another hallucination

He only realizes smthn is wrong with Tobirama sees him and immediatley goes "what the FUCK" and suddenly everyone is going "oh god you can see him too????"

Izuna is on a quest to convince people he's not a hallucination (it's a losing battle)

Realistically tho, in that era, wouldn't it be more believable that Izuna is a ghost / somehow came back to life than fucking dimension travel?

Cearly the ghost of Izuna just doesn't realize hes died (common enough in ghost lore)

Tobirama is the only one who believes Izuna bc he has the brain cells to think ab dimension travel / time and space jutsu

POV Madara starts to convince Izuna he's actually a ghost. Maybe... he did die? And he just doesn't remember?? Oh god is he a ghost??? Is he dead????

Tobirama is standing by watching this shit happen with a look of disgust on his face (I'm sorry Tobi the stupidity is genetic)

Madara really said gaslight gatekeep girlboss, starting with yourself first

@beatriceportinari :

hashirama is trying to be compassionate and get him to move on and izuna just. stays there (bc he's not a ghost)

hsrm so desolate abt it

tbrm he won't move on 😦 what if he's stuck forever 😦

SORRY IM JUST PICTURING LIKE HASHIRAMA AND MADARA DOING A FULL EXORCISM LIKE OUTFITS AND SAGE BURNING AND HITTING THE DRUMS AND ALL AS IZUNA STANDS IN THE MIDDLE OF THEM LIKE 🧍‍♂️

Tobirama is standing nearby watching this shit happen fully aware Izuna isn't dead but no one will listen to him so !!! Might as well watch the show

@fashionredalert :

Izuna standing there like

Tweak it slightly to turn it into a happy ending where they get to keep him bc he eventually has to go back home: there was no dimension travel, for some reason he survived or was revived (zetsu interference gone wrong?? Or right ig, for Izuna)

IT LOOKS LIKE HES WAITING PATIENTLY FOR IT TO WORK PLS

@mengfm :

He fr came back to life/survived but everyone's convinced he's a ghost and are trying to lay him back to rest

The idea of people trying to re bury him is so funny. Left and right he’s trying to avoid having funeral rights just said to him

@beatriceportinari :

PLS YESS

montage where they make him lay down in a coffin and he's just laying there fidgeting like "this feels weird is it working yet"

noooo asdfghjh he's letting them do it'

maybe i should be dead yeah' izuna!!!

@mengfm :

"No I saw you die"

"Ok convincing argument I guess" -Izuna, apparently

@fashionredalert :

I know there’s that trope about the Uchiha burning the bodies with funeral rites could you image…Bro having to run away from Madara trying to burn him alive to lay him to rest again

@mengfm :

IZUNA GET ON THE FUNERAL PYRE

ITS TIME TO BURN!!!

@fashionredalert :

Izuna running through the village with rope ties around his hands as he runs

ZUNA STOP SCREAMING AND LET THE FIRE DO ITS JOB

"IZUNA COME BACK!!"

THEY TRY TO DO IT BUT IZUNA GETS TWITCHY AS THE FLAMES DRAW CLOSER THEN JUMPS OFF THE PIRE

"NO I CHANGED MY MIND"

"THIS IS FOR YOUR OWN GOOD"

Madara is chasing Izuna through the streets with a lit torch as Izuna screams about wanting to try a different way and Madara screams about how it'll work if he just STAYS STILL

@instant-bull :

(Hashirama looks out his window and asks Tobirama if he just saw Izuna running through the streets and Tobirama tells him to stop making shit up to get out of work)

@mengfm :

JSDNJNFSDJNSDFKSNDJF HASHIRAMA THIS WON'T SAVE YOU FROM THE PAPERWORK

That’s just a lack of sleep hallucination back to work!!!

@instant-bull :

Madara trying to burn his brother alive isn’t real!

"You'll get used to them" Tobirama waved his hand, the years of insomnia experience making him sound particularly knowledgable

@mengfm

Hashirama’s already moukoton scrambled brain is going to feel even more insane. This is not helping his sanity

@instant-bull

Hashirama starts to believe he sees into some alternate timeline or the past or whatever that shit was

HASHIRAMA ON HIS OWN INSANITY KICK BELIEVING HE CAN SEE INTO ALTERNATE TIMELINES

The ending is literally just Tobirama hitting everyone over the head with a rolled up newspaper and yelling that they're all stupid, going "HES alive. YOURE not hallucinating. and YOU can not see into other dimensions!"

Only sane person in Konoha

(Then in the epilogue he goes home and has his own regular hallucinations of his dead brothers)

Parts of todays AU are brought to u with the help of @instant-bull @mengfm @fashionredalert and @beatriceportinari, everyone say thank you to them

[striveattemptfail]

in prime earth canon, jason todd (NOT red hood) was* publicly known to be alive

red hood: outlaw (2018) #32 (ID in alt text)

considering that jason todd was the official owner of the iceberg lounge during this time, it's likely he acquired the lounge legally and thus can be inferred that he had to be declared legally alive to do so

which brings me to my point:

i've seen a lot of people writing/speculating the difficulties and limitations jason experiences bc he was declared legally dead after ethiopia, which is all well and good, and is fantastic fodder for angst

but i've been wondering if this was bc people are actively ignoring canon (valid) or simply didn't know that at one point* jason was publicly alive (also valid, bc following comics is a shitshow lol)

please reblog to increase visibility! the whole point of this poll is to gauge how many people know this, so i'd love to see this post reach as many people as possible. thank you~! 😅🙏

(* big disclaimer under the cut!)

note: all of this info is as of may 2023. i am only one human so it's impossible for me to read every comic jason has been in since rhato (2016) and remember every single thing that happened. if anything i said above the cut is incorrect now, i apologize! /o\

for reference, as of creating this poll i've read:

red hood and the outlaws (2016) #1-26

red hood: outlaw (2018) #27-52

task force z (2021) #1-12

batman: urban legends (2021) #1-6 – cheer pt.1-6

the joker: the man who stopped laughing (2022) #3-5

i haven't read a lot of other important runs like death metal (2020), three jokers (2020), robins (2021), etc. if jason (NOT red hood) was declared dead once again in any of those, that is the reason why i used "was" in the very first sentence of this post and reiterate that he was alive at least for a limited period

my bad that i missed his second legal death tho LOLLL

i'm also aware that red hood (NOT jason) was known as "dead" by others after task force z (even though he clearly didn't die). that said, in the little i've read of tj:tmwsl, it seems that 1) not everyone knows red hood is actually alive, and/or that 2) red hood died at all. again, if red hood is generally known to be alive after tfz, that's on me

if there's anything else i've missed, let me know!! i'll update/reblog this post for as long as the poll is up (-u-)b

[obey-me-disaster]

A/N: I'm reposting this cause the tags didn't work the first time <3

Demon brothers x gn!MC

Demon brothers x MC that info-dumps about their familiars

Lucifer

Whenever he feels like the two of you haven't spent enough time together due to his work, he invites you into his office to hang out. He enjoys hearing you talk excitedly about your passions while he does paperwork.

He can't say he has too much of an interest in peacocks, but he loves hearing you talk about the things you love, so he'll let you talk until you've had your fill.

"So peacocks apparently peacocks feathers are covered in tiny crystal-like structures that reflect different wavelengths of light depending on how they're spaced."

"Also, since only male peacocks have the large train of feathers, do you think it played a role in them being your familiars? Since you're the avatar of pride and all of that."

"That's quite the theory you've got there, but I'm afraid I don't know how true it actually is."

"Still, I would love to hear more facts that you have, I can see from the expression on your face that you're dying to do so"

"And before you ask, yes, my feathers have the crystal-like structures, you can have a closer look if you would like"

His ego does grow quite a bit every time you go into one or your rants since he can tell you're talking so much about peacock cause they are his familiars.

He will probably buy you something peacock inspired to give you during one of your info-dumps.

God forbid you start gushing about his familiars in front of Diavolo. The prince will see it as a way to talk even more about Lucifer, and the former isn't sure how much he can deal with that.

Mammon

He has a pretty good base knowledge about crows. Out of all of his brothers, he probably works with his familiars the most. It's canon that he literally uses them to spy on people and gather information.

Still, there are a lot of things he might not know. And even if he knew, he would die before telling you to stop talking.

"Your crows are so cute, did you know that they are considered some of the world's smartest birds?"

"Of course they are! They're the Great Mammon's familiars after all"

"They are also known to gossip with their peers and hold grudges"

"I am well aware of that fact, more often than not they tell me the latest gossip in Devildom"

He would let you hang out with his crows in order to learn more about them.

I also have the headcanon that he can talk with them, so he would literally be a translator for you and the crows

"Feel free to ask them anything, I will translate whatever they say!"

Is pretty smug about the fact that you are so interested in his familiars, even so when you interact with them. He might even give you some accessories made out of his familiars' feathers(of course, feathers that have fallen on their own)

Leviathan

Bold of you to assume he doesn't know already everything there is about snakes already, he is literally one!

"Levi, did you know that snakes can smell with their tongues and a good amount of them have shit eyesight?"

"Henry the 1st used to have a bad eyesight!! They also don't really stop growing. This is more obvious with Devildom snakes tho"

He would honestly be really touched by your eagerness to learn and tell him about snakes since he is pretty much one. He sees it as you being interested in him on a whole new level and gets really excited when you info-dump about them.

Leviathan, on the verge of crying internally "They actually care about me!"

NB! Levi would actually really appreciate it tho. His demon form is that of a snake and he also got a pet snake, so any new info is more than welcome. Especially about how to deal with shedding.

"MC, you've got to help me! You know a lot about snakes, so could you tell me why my tail feels so itchy???"

Satan

Your info-dump session about unicorns is pretty much a 'is it true that they actually do that??' kind of thing

He still touched about you wanting to learn more about his familiars so he is always willing to answear any and all of your questions. He might even take you to see some of them.

"Is it true that unicorns can use magic with their horn?"

"Saying they can cast magic is far stretched. They have some abilities specific to their kind that can be used with or without the horn."

Cats on the other hand? Doesn't matter if he already know whatever fact you want to tell him, he is always more than happy to discuss about them.

Hell, he might be the one info-dumping about cats before you get the chance to do so.

"Did you know that cats can have up to 100 different vocalizations? Dogs only have like 10"

"They are also believed to be the only mammal who doesn't taste sweetness, which I find unfortunate. Still, they truly are amazing creatures"

More often than not Solomon is dragged in the conversations too due to the 'Cat' group chat that three of you have. Not like he minds, he loves cats too.

Asmodeus

He lets you info-dump about scorpions while he does your hair/nails/helps you with you skin care.

"Is you info-dumping about my familiars your way of telling me that you love me~"

Your self care sessions are also info-dump sessions, so you kill two birds with one stone.

"Did you know that scorpions are capable of dissolving their pray from the inside out. They also glow under ultraviolet light??"

"It's only natural that my familiars would be able to do this, they are my familiars after all ♡. Maybe I should use some make up the glows in the dark"

Since you've started to info-dump about his familiars to him, his outfits/nails/accessories have started to have a scorpion motif to them quite often

He also tells you one of the facts you've told him before while he shows off his scorpion inspired accesories. It's his way of showing that he listens to your rants.

"Scorpions can do that, can't they? Remember when you told me this last night?"

Beelzebub

He doesn't really know a lot about his familiars but he has an odd fondness about them. He can't really bring himself to kill them, tho flies tend to leave him alone anyway.

He thinks is really sweet that you know so much about those little guys, so he is always happy to sit and listen to you.

If you feel like info-dumping about flies, feel free to do it whenever you like. He is raiding the fridge? You can help him carry some of the food while you tell him more about his familiars. He is working out? He can hear loud and clear. He might not be the most responsive during some of those moments but he is always listening to you.

He is aware that out of all of his brothers, his familiar is not the cutest or the coolest one, so when you start talking about it, he can't help but feel really loved.

"Beel, did you know that flies can taste food using their feet?"

"It would be pretty usefull to know how food would taste just by touching, not like I would care if the food would taste bad, I would still eat it"

"Also, due to their eyes being compound they can also see behind their back. They actually have a 360° field of view"

"I also have that in my demon form, it came in handy a lot of times"

"YOU HAVE WHAT?!"

Belphegor

Lying on the attic bed while facing the ceiling "Shouldn't your familiar be a bull instead of a cow, since you're a guy and all of that?"

"Just shut up and cuddle me.."

While he thinks cows look comfy enough to take a nap, he does not care about them. But he care about you, so he is more than willing to cuddle up with you while you info-dump.

"Cows are actually pretty nice, they can spend about 10 hours a day lying down and they can also sleep while standing...are you even listening to me...?"

Belphegor, looking on the verge of falling asleep "hmm? Yeah I'm listening.."

Despite looking like he is one second from falling asleep or even downright sleeping, he actually listens to you. He can pay attention to things even in his sleep, how do you think he has really high grades at RAD? so he is listening to all of the cow facts you're telling him.

Anytime you doubt that he has been listening, he will tell you a fact that you've told him in the past to show that he was in fact listening.

"Cows can sleep while standing, right? You're the one who told me, so you should know. Now get closer, I want to use your lap as a pillow."

If you dare to do any kind of jokes about him being a cowboy, he will kick out of the bed.

[almightygremlinblob]

Sukuna Ryomen HCs - Canon & Fanon!

CONTENT WARNINGS: Unbeta'd. None, for the first part - which may as well be a part character analysis of sorts along with hcs. Under the cut is when stuff gets weird. So minors and those uncomfy with anything remotely sexual don't click the "Keep Reading" and just scroll past! Will put another warning, tho, just in case.

Personally I LOVE Sukuna's true form, but these can be read as any of his forms (except for the tummy mouth stuff, haha).

Word Count: 1694

Sukuna HCs - Canon Sukuna

1.) Aromantic, Asexual and sex repulsed or; Demiromantic, Asexual and sex repulsed. Listen. Has never done anything to Uraume (MY LOVE) - well, that we know of, anyway. Yorozu, beautiful, beautiful Yorozu, hugs him completely nakey; no reaction AT ALL. Kenny sleeps with his brother and it's "Kenjaku does the grosest things." Come on. 2.) Contrary to popular belief, I don't actually think he's super arrogant. He just STRONGLY believes that the weak should eat their suffering at the hands of the strong - and he's at the top of the food chain. All that smirking during the fights, talking down his opponents and just generally toying with them, completely lines up with his worldview. Even when he converses with Yorozu about her conditions for winning, he says that she can do whatever she wants with him because if he loses, that's "akin to death" and she proves herself stronger than him - again with the previous point. His worldview doesn't exclude himself just because he's been given the title of the strongest, unlike a lot of arrogant characters who think they're exempt from the rules they "follow". Sukuna seems to be…like a whole lot of neutral, as long as it lines up with his worldview. When it DOESN'T (ahem-his soul nephew-ahem), then he begin to lose it. 3.) Speaking of, he's obsessed with Jujutsu and honing his craft, having good food and a good fight - it's all he wants. Sukuna doesn't care where he stands at the food chain, he'll accept if there's an opponent stronger than him and die happy, and if it's weaker but puts up a good fight then he'll kill it and still be happy. He's living moment to moment, doing what makes him happy, poking at whatever interests him and living his life according to his values. (Sounds good on paper but ALSO just sounds like he's chasing the next "high" as long as it comes from an opponent that lines up with his beliefs). 4.) Is a wonderful artist and poet and, much like traditional Japanese painting (which is surprisingly close to Chinese painting), he prefers ink for his works and calligraphy, charcoal, too. He would have plenty of it back in the Heian era. 🙃 5.) UNWANTED. As a child he was unwanted, as a sorcerer nobody liked him or working with him (also because he was tricky to work with - essentially using the other sorcerers to get the upper hand in battle), curses tried to stay clear of him, and even when he was worshipped nobody wanted to do it - they only did it to get on his good graces or get something from him. Sukuna may have been a king, but he was an unwanted one, all the same - an unwanted king who sat in his empty temple. 6.) Views Jin as simply part of himself, because by Jujutsu standards that's the case - twins are considered one - and the Jujutsu world is heavily tied to his worldview. However, Jin himself is a completely different person; personality, physique and all. 7.) Hates modern food. Just…hates it. From the meat, to the veggies, to the spices, to the PEOPLE. It tastes SOOO BAD to him. Everything's become more abundant but at WHAT COST??? Quality of the food is out the window completely. Only Uraume can make something decent out of everything (leave it to our favorite chef). Because most animal meat was prohibited from consumption in the Heian era due to the influence of Buddhism (as far as I know), he had a lot of those to choose from back then. One of the dishes he did eat frequently, though, was Hishio with rice and some kind of meat (any he had access to at the time). 8.) Loves fighting because that's when his worldview IS a reality. It's only win or lose, the strong or the weak…AND THEN THERE'S YUUJI- 9.) Given the themes surrounding his character, and Yuuji's, actually, the quote by Alfred Lord Tennyson comes to mind; "Tis better to have loved and lost, than to never have loved at all." 10.) Generally doesn't like to be stared or looked at unless it's in a fight - he's had plenty of staring and hushed whispers back in the Heian era.

Sukuna HCs - Fanon Sukuna x Reader

These are not specified to be romantic or platonic, and can be read however you'd like. Reader's gender or sex is not specified.

1.) Expect stern, gentle and very QUIET comfort from this guy. Sukuna isn't one to coddle, and he might even be annoyed if you're crying. If he isn't wordlessly wiping your tears away, he'll be softly chastising you for crying over "someone so insignificant" or "a situation you can easily handle". He's not trying to belittle your problems, not at all - he recognizes your strong points, where they are, and he just truly KNOWS you can handle whatever it is you're facing. It's less "Stop being so dramatic, it's annoying." and more "What are you upset about? You can handle this easy…" 2.) Doesn't like grandeur displays of affection, it reminds him of all the (frankly fake) worship he recieved in the Heian era. He appreciates small and meaningful gestures SO MUCH more. Likewise, he also gives small and meaningful gestures to his favorite person; a poem, a painting, good food, letting your touch linger, letting you stare at him. Don't talk down on him or about him, though, and keep the teasing to a minimum; he does demand some level of respect. 💜 3.) As stated before, he's obsessed with Jujutsu and honing his craft, having good food and a good fight - it's all he wants. But then you come along and make days without that…somehow bearable? And then somehow he begins to seek out your company. And then somehow, he feels anxious and as if something's missing without it. 4.) The tummy mouth WILL purr, but it's more of a low and content growling than a cat or cheetah's purr. 5.) Sukuna doesn't like to be looked at, although your gaze doesn't bother him as much. However, he does NOT like it when your attention is on someone else when you're with him - even if you can't look - he needs to know your mind is ON HIM, still.

Alright you know the drill. Minors and anyone uncomfy with anything remotely sexual DNI further, and just scroll past this. Don't click the "Keep Reading" if you don't wanna see all the romantic or sex-y stuff, and just go on with your day furendo!

Fanon Sukuna - Romantic & Explicit

⚠️Further Content Warnings:⚠️ Soft Sukuna, Sukuna fluff, Virgin!Sukuna, Whiny Sukuna, as usual Sukuna writings = food metaphors.

1.) Falls first, face first, and falls HARD. Was in complete denial because "love is trash" but this feeling is…actually NICE??? Actually makes his days better??? For once he's not bored out of his mind (and nearly to insanity) when he's not fighting or eating??? 2.) Virgin. Guy is inexperienced with all genders and sexes. Listen, as much as I love King!Sukuna and his favorite concubine trope, I'll have to do the 180 here. The guy probably never touched anyone in his life - cuz he also didn't want to. Why would he, when all the women and men offered to him were sacrifices from families with ulterior motives, and who were, themselves, harboring alterior motives, too? Nobody actually wants to be with him - he was an unwanted king, with followers who only bowed to get on his good graces and GET SOMETHING from him. Why would he want what they were offering? 3.) This guy has never been this close and intimate with anyone in a way that's not TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER, and it takes him quite a bit of time to get used to this. It's all so overwhelming the first few times; the emotions, and the pleasure of it, and the fact that he's being so vulnerable with YOU. However, once he starts to get more comfortable, then he gets more eager and if we've seen anything about him - it's that he's a fast learner. Starts to pick up on what feels good for the both of you. Starts to look forward to it, too. 4.) He'll tease you - of course, but all the same he'll growl and whimper and plead for you, too. Yes, the tummy mouth will also growl and whine. The sweet noises he makes are reserved for you and only you. 5.) He WILL lick and taste your skin, let his teeth dig softly into your flesh but never biting too deep to break it - it's his favorite thing to do. Remember how he can manifest multiple mouths? Yeah, he's absolutely doing that to taste you more. 6.) His kisses, once hesitant and dare you say - shy, become passionate. Way too passionate. It's overwhelming. His tongue tastes every part of your mouth he can, gently biting and suckling and licking your lips (your neck, your shoulders, your wrists, your SKIN in general...) as if to drain the blood from them, hands roaming your body and kneading the soft flesh. Every part of you like a feast he can almost eat. 7.) Slow and intense lovemaking; almost violent in a way that feels like he's trying to literally devour you. 8.) Does NOT like your attention elsewhere and WILL NOT share you during lovemaking. Think about him, not someone or something else. Be with him, not elsewhere. Look at him, and only him.

.

GOD is it difficult to be a Sukuna fan sometimes - especially if you like other characters, too. Especially Gojo and Yuji...coughs awkwardly. Well that'd be just terrible now wouldn't it?

[notadreamurr]

And then an anvil fell on them.

Slasher au by @justwantswafflefries

Some saw saw x tadc below (gore warning, maybe?)

I'm gonna keep working on this over time, and I'll randomly update this. I'll probably draw them in more traps than just the ones their canonically in just for giggles.

Canonical traps

I am gonna now go on a saw tangent because I'd like to share this. I hate saw 3D! I think it's the worst saw movie besides Spiral (I don't even consider Spiral to be a Saw movie), which sucks because I think it has some of the best traps in the entire franchise! Like the silent circle! That trap is easily in my top 3! It's still hard for me to watch! Oh, and we finally got to see the reverse bear trap in action! That was so dope!! But the actual movie SUCKED (in my opinion) saw 3D spoilers ig. But I HATED that Jill had to die in this shitty movie. I thought her dead was really good, but she could have died in ANY other movie! And, Mark Hoffman was turned into a shitty slasher like why?! And Gordon! Like it kinda made sense ig but it really felt like it came out of nowhere! He suddenly shows up and is an apprentice?! Even though this movie has amazing traps, it also has the public execution trap, which I believe is the STUPIDEST saw trap in the entire franchise. It is in public for literally NO reason. And why is the girls shirt ripped open?? It's literally just fan service. (same for Jill's dream death. There's a fake boob for no reason. it's just there to be there.) This movie also had that lame lawn mower trap, like how did that couple get there?! Did they just wake up hanging from that chain? Finally, the brazen bull trap SUCKS! And it's not even the trap that sucks I think it's actually pretty cool! I just HATE how Bobby's wife is in the trap! Why?! She had nothing to do with this!! Like at least all the other people that Bobby had tried to save knew he was a liar! She didn't know!! she was just a nice lady who supported her husband! Saw 3D was supposed to be the last movie, and I'm so glad it wasn't. I'm so glad a series that I love so much. Did not end on such a shitty note! I don't want ya'll to think I hate saw, I love it! It holds a special place in my heart. Saw 1 was the first horror movie I ever watched. I just hate saw 3D! It's cool if you like it, tho. I just think it's junk. (Saw 5 is my favorite if you care)

[dianagj-art]

Is there Oneion facts we can know about?

THIS HAS BEEN ON MY DRAFTS FOR SO LONG OMG IM SO SORRY, HERE'S SOME FACTS ABOUT THE BABY BOY

(the baby boy in question is ten years older than me)

I'm gonna go canon stuff first, then some fun crossover stuff:

The version that I'm using is 35-ish years old (a few years before the movie events), he's been the leader of the resistance for around a decade

He still has all his brothers and loves them very much, would kill and die for them

Way more chill than One is right now, still a beast on combat

One can manipulate vines only using the seeds Draxum makes, Oneion can summon them at will from the ground with little issue

In the story he mostly goes by Leo now, very few people call him One (but lets keep calling him Oneion to avoid confusion)

The protesis he uses is an old one from Raph, but he outgrew it and gave it to Oneion when he lost his arm. It was a bit ridiculously big for him at the time, it's still a *little* too big for Oneion, but by the time he's 40-something (movie events) its gonna fit right in

The scarf he has is not the same One has, but as One's it was a gift from Draxum, he has carry the same scarf the whole apocalypse

Still has a lot of gold accents on his clothes

He's still the best fighter out of the four turtles

He loves being around kids but doesn't, he's afraid of hurting them. He knows he didn't had a normal childhood but is not 100% aware of what part was normal and ok and what part is not, and he rathers not take a chance and do something wrong.

He ends up enjoying teaching martial arts, tho he doesn't like being called sensei, and he wont spar with anyone bellow his level (again, being afraid of hurting them)

Casey Jr becomes the exception to these

Crossover stuff!

he can and will beat the shit out of One, he knows how much One can take so he's not really worried about that

when the apocalypse started he basically lost contact with the multiverse, so no fun crossovers for him. Until by the power of "@intotheelliwoods started doing fanart of Oneion before I even had finished his design" he had access to the multiverse again!

First of his "old frieds" he saw was Poptart and Sprout (2al huggy leos) and first thing he did was to hug Sprout<3 (well, he first kinda yelled at him but I'll draw that some day)

I don't think he has met again with the rest of the separated council? I don't remember if I've stick him in any crossover situations

he loves hugging Poptart, he's teddy bear size<3 and he'll never get tired of calling him his friend and loving him "the way he deserves" because he still hasn't forgive himself for the shitty way he treated Poptart (dont worry about it)

he fucking destroyed the attempt of a slau/2al crossover time line

he says he's fine by it but he keeps bringing up the "jawbreaker" incident, I dont think he got over it, actually

he hangs out with Sprout a lot

something something, being with Sprout makes him feel like a kid again, and it makes Sprout feel like a kid again because Oneion reminds him of Big Leo

Sprout and Oneion have a spa day, they deserve it<3 they also go shopping together. Also, they are not exactly good at cooking but they try and they love working together on the kitchen

Oneion got the "Oneion" nickname by Sprout and Poptart

he stronk. he can lift Sprout with no problem, and even Toast

if you wanna have a good time scroll down the besties tag on ell's blog or mine (2)

[marunene]

—· Castiel Head/canons!

(SFW/NSFW)

There are also some angels headcanons too! — Remembering that these are HEADCANONS and even if they don't make sense to you, they make sense to me./LH. Some (many) of them I only kept in a jar in my brain while I was reading fanfics, hehe...

English is not my first language, be patient with me.

SFW!

- Pansexual! I firmly believe that angels don't care about your sex or gender, for them it's practically the same thing besides your body.

- This also means that they don't care if you are a man or a woman, if you do something they don't like you will be beaten, probably die. I see Castiel from the first seasons doing this so— yeah.

- Autism spec. You can't convince me otherwise.

- For petnames, he doesn't use it much, but if he does sometime, he calls you honeybee or love. Probably "human" if you call him "angel".

- He LOVES physical contact, even if it's not apparent, he could cuddle with you for hours and still want more

- His wings are HUGE, dark and blue, when you touch them they feel like silk, they are so soft, completely from another world.

- And to complement, I like to think that they are quite sensitive to touch.

- If he were to choose a favorite color, it would be green because it reminds him of nature. But he also likes blue (sea and sky) and yellow (bees)

- His trenchcoat are his comfort object.

- HE HUGS YOU WITH HIS WINGS WHEN YOU CUDDLE OR ARE JUST SITTING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. Imagine him protecting you with them while you sleep <3

- Gets grumpy when drunk <3

- Legends say that Castiel once tried to make breakfast and Dean forbade him from touching his stove...

- He's almost always watching you, just... Looking at you. Sometimes it's a little creepy, but he loves you too much not to look.

- When you had your first kiss, all the light bulbs in the neighborhood just exploded and he looked at you with a surprised face-- (not because of the light bulbs)

- After seeing how good you are with children, sometimes he imagines what you would be like as a mother and what it would be like if you could have a normal life, without hunting, without dating an angel. He knows what could happen if you two had a child and can't even imagine what he would do knowing that he was the one who did this to you :3

- Physically, what he likes most about you are your eyes. And his favorite part of himself is his wings, even after the fall, it still reminds him of what he really is. Jimmy isn't exactly... Him. He's just a vessel. It wouldn't make much sense for him to choose some part of his body as his favorite.

- You collect his feathers when he's moulting (I love comparing angel wings to bird wings! Sorry...)

- besides tasting molecules, He can literally SEE them... Or at least some of them...

NSFW!

- PRAISE AND DEGRADATION KINK. It depends on the day, although at first if you degraded him he wouldn't understand why you would be doing that... But praise him and this angel will be on his knees for you.

- He's more into slow and sensual sex.

- He doesn't sweat at all, not in the intercourse or out of it. (This is canon actually)

- Something between 7/8 inches, specifically 18/19cm, a bit thick - (Misha messed with my head when said he has 9 inches, so hmm)

- He definitely doesn't shave, just let it grow and wouldn't mind if you didn't shave it too. He is an angel, he saw everything from the beginning, including Eve and Adam. There were no razors at that time.

- LOVES oral sex, give him a blowjob and he would be a pathetic whiny mess. However, he doesn't really like to GIVE bc of the taste of the molecules. (Human Cas would LOVE to taste you tho ;))

- As I said before, his wings are sensitive, he LOVES it when you stroke them when you 2 are having sex, even if it makes him a bit overwhelmed and quite Desesperate

- Usually a dom. He followed rules his whole life, let our little angel have a little control <3 But of course on his first time he would like you to tell him what to do, but over time he would become more confident and you are fucked.

- LET HIM USE HIS GRACE ON(in) YOU. Pin you against the bed, you can't even move properly as he fucks you w his grace, looking into your eyes with a little smirk on his face.

- As an angel, he has much more stamina than you, so you would only stop when you are tired. For him, you 2 could do this all night.

- MY BOY IS A VOYEUR! I'm sure he's watched you touch yourself and stuff when he were invisible, but never had the courage to jerk off to it tho

- He will look you in the eye almost all the time, he just can't help it.

- ALWAYS checking on you, asking if what he's doing is okay (especially the first few times you did this), he doesn't want to hurt you... :(

- Call him a good angel/boy when you're jerking him off and that you're proud of him when he finish, he'll fucking MELT.

- He'll get confused if you say “Oh my God”... Why are you moaning his father's name when he's the one fucking you? (HELP)

There are a lot of nsfw hcs I'm genuinely scared of myself, sorry 😭 I used practically all my headcanons in this post, there probably won't be a pt 2, be glad, mwah mwah mwah

Look at his Dom look HELPP