#In my mind you're the freak and yet I'm the one that has to explain myself

[zmaragdos]

.

[unclewaynemunson]

Yall voted for the sober version of this premise so here ya go:

Steve doesn't know exactly what he had expected kissing Eddie would be like, but it sure as hell wasn't this. He would've expected something rough and raw, bared teeth and maybe fingers pulling at his hair. But what he gets instead is something infinitely soft, something resembling tenderness... It makes it all the more difficult for him to pull back.

“What's wrong, Stevie?” Eddie asks after one look at Steve's face.

“I need to tell you something,” Steve manages to choke out.

And Eddie wraps his arms all around him, pulling him closer until his head is lying right against Eddie's beating heart. That heartbeat, steady and reassuring, is all he focuses on while he talks.

“Remember last summer? The mall fire that wasn't really a mall fire?”

“You finally gonna tell me what happened there?” Eddie says. It doesn't sound accusatory, just curious and a little confused as to where this is headed.

“I don't really like to talk about it,” Steve confesses. He closes his eyes, flashes of what happened back then floating to the surface of his mind again.

“We – Robin and I – we were captured by Russian soldiers. They tied us up and interrogated us for hours. They thought we were spies, so they tried to get us to give up information. They hit me.” He pauses to take a breath. “They hurt me real bad, Eddie. Until I was bleeding all over. Until I lost consciousness and Robin thought I was dead. The only reason we survived is because they thought we would have useful information for them.”

“Jesus Christ, Steve...”

Eddie's grip around him tightens, but Steve lifts his head up and makes a half-hearted attempt to crawl away from him. The hardest part has yet to come.

“I really, really like you, Eddie,” he says. “But I can't do this with you.”

Confusion flashes over Eddie's features: his eyes widen and the lines around his lips become deeper. But he still doesn't loosen his grip.

“What do you mean?”

“It's the –“ Steve clears his throat. “I know what it means, the – your hanky. I got a cousin in New York who knows all about that shit, they send me magazines sometimes when my parents aren't home. I'm sorry, Eddie, but I can't do that, like, ever. It's only gonna make me relive that shit from last year. There's no way I can ever give you what you need, so it wouldn't be fair to...” He trails off, not quite knowing how to finish that sentence.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Eddie still looks as confused as ever.

“Your hanky,” Steve uselessly repeats. “You're flagging, aren't you? You're into, like, hurting people, right?”

Steve watches how Eddie's jaw drops, almost in slow motion.

“This?” he asks, grabbing behind him and taking the black piece of fabric, covered in skulls, out of his back pocket.

Steve nods.

Eddie laughs, but it sounds fake and on edge, quickly dying out again. “Steve. This is a metal thing. It looks badass, y'know. I literally have no idea what you're – flagging?”

A gasp escapes Steve's lips and he feels his heartbeat speed up with something that must be hope.

“Are you serious?”

Eddie nods, his brows still furrowed and that endearingly confused look of I-have-no-clue-what-the-hell-is-going-on not leaving his eyes.

It feels like Steve's heart is starting to run laps in his chest, now. He can barely suppress the laughter that's bubbling up inside of him.

“What the hell are you trying to tell me, Steve?”

He grabs the hanky that's still in Eddie's hand.

“I thought you were flagging,” he weakly explains. “It's like a code. To signal what you like to do, y'know, in the bedroom. The black, it means – I thought you were into, like, BDSM shit. Things I can't do: being tied down, getting hurt...”

“Why the hell would I get off on hurting you, Stevie?”

It sounds so ridiculously innocent and horrified: Eddie the freak, Eddie the scary metalhead – Eddie who is genuinely shocked at the suggestion that he had in any way created an image for himself in which it made sense that he'd be into pain.

“I mean, if you would, I wouldn't wanna judge you or whatever,” Steve is quick to say. “You'd be surprised how many people are into that shit, I'm not here to shame anyone. But if you aren't... I'm really fucking relieved, man.”

He still vividly remembers what happened when he was dating Daphne, who had once taken his wrists in her hands and pinned them down on the mattress above his head while she was on top of him. Or when he was with Melissa, who had half-jokingly slapped his ass one time when things were getting heated between them. Anything restricting his movements, anything unexpected, could make him lose his shit now, as he had had to find out the hard way. It had made him believe that he could never actually have Eddie, that that would be asking too big of a sacrifice of either one of them, an impossible kind of compromise, no matter how much they liked one another. But instead, here he is, with Eddie looking at him with the softest look in his eyes, actually having talked about his shit before they even got up to anything more than kissing.

So he tells him, stumbling his way through the words, about his experiences with Daphne and with Melissa. And Eddie listens to him patiently, his big eyes never once leaving Steve's, nodding as if he's mentally taking notes of what to do and what not to do.

“We can take it as slow as you need to,” Eddie tells him when he's finished, his voice sincere and reassuring.

“It's not about taking it slow,” Steve assures him. “It isn't about not being ready. It's more about...” He pauses to think. “It's about trust. I trust you.”

Eddie's hands, that are still wrapped around Steve's torso, tighten for a moment and he blinks rapidly a few times. He looks overwhelmed by Steve's words.

“Okay,” he finally says, a little bit more hoarse than before. “So if it's about trust, can I trust you to tell me whenever something I do is bringing back unwanted memories?”

Steve nods. “Yeah, I can do that.”

It's always been difficult for him to talk about what happened that day underneath the mall. But he realizes he has already done the difficult part: Eddie already knows about the memories he is carrying with him. That must make it easier to talk about it in case it will ever be necessary.

Soft lips press against his temple and he drops his head back on Eddie's chest.

“Good,” says Eddie. The sound of his voice vibrates through Steve's whole body; he doesn't think there's anything more comforting than being completely wrapped up in Eddie like this.

A hand lands in his hair and starts stroking through it softly.

“Thank you for telling me this,” Eddie mumbles. “That couldn't have been easy.”

In return, Steve wants to thank Eddie for being as sweet and understanding as he has been, but the exhaustion of having this talk is washing over him in big, heavy waves. So he merely hums and lets his eyes fall shut.

“You wanna stay the night?” Eddie asks. “We don't have to do anything right now – we can go straight to sleep, how does that sound?”

Steve nuzzles his head further into Eddie's chest. “Sounds good,” he murmurs. He can't imagine ever wanting to sleep on his own again.

[st-danger]

Saint my dear, dear friend - would you please bless us all with the tale of the first time Aeon pops his knot? I'm sure it's quite the experience...

Dew feels it between huffs of breath, the beginnings of it. The telltale little bump, ever more present. He debates saying something but with his legs on Aeon's shoulders, his chest has very little room to spare oxygen for words right now. Does he know? He's not sure he does, not sure he's experienced it yet, and frankly, the flattery that comes with being the one to trigger it, that he's the reason Aeon's not going to be able to control it, hold it back... he'll be preening about that for a long while. A point of pride that he'll try to keep to himself, but will mention in passing to the others. To brag. To gloat. He can't help it. Aeon hits something just right and Dew moans. Above him, Aeon echoes, hips slowing.

"Something feels funny," he breathes and Dew has to close his eyes at the confusion threading his voice, the wave of arousal it washes him with. He clenches around him involuntarily. Aeon's about to learn something about himself and Dew is going to be the one to witness that little loss of innocence. "Dew, hang on," Aeon mumbles, "something feels different."

"Does it really," Dew says, barely biting back the glee as he stares up at Aeon's perplexed, flushed face. "Go on and show me. Pull it out."

He lets his legs drop and sighs as Aeon slides out, leaning back on his legs, hands resting on his thighs. His cock, red and wet and standing up so straight with how hard he is, on full display like this. Dew pushes himself up to sitting and takes in Aeon's expression as he looks down at it.

Sees the little swell that's starting to form at the base.

"Um," Aeon says, "that's new." Dew reaches out and brushes his fingertips down the length, which throbs in response, makes Aeon sigh.

"Is it?" Dew asks lightly, as if he doesn't know, continuing to pet it to watch it wag around. His balls are already drawn up small and tight, and Dew is going to lose his mind when he gets it inside himself, he knows. They both have a really good cum in their near future, and his balls are already aching for it.

"Why's it...big?"

"It's gonna get bigger," Dew says, and wraps his hand around it to give it a nice firm squeeze, and the noise it tears from Aeon, the way his stomach clenches- Dew comes close to putting his fang through his lip with how hard he bites it.

"Shit," Aeon gasps, hips stuttering up as his hands plant behind him, holding him upright. Dew repeats it, starts working him there and Aeon makes another beautifully stupid sound. "What-"

"Called a knot," Dew says, light and pleasant. He presses his other hand into his lap, holds himself because there's no way he cannot right now. "You'll learn to control it, eventually."

"What," Aeon repeats, and it's swelling up nicely in his hand now, as he focuses on pleasuring it.

"Swells up, you pop it inside," Dew explains, "it gets a little bigger."

"Why?" Aeon grits out, thrusting up mindlessly, thighs working. Dew lets him go, and it bounces around. He settles back, pulls his knees up, and gives Aeon a perfect view of his hole.

"Not doing twenty questions," he says. "Promise you're in for a treat."

How Aeon scrambles to fit himself back inside. How he looms over and shoves himself back in with little grace now that the pudgy bump at the base is larger, more sensitive. Needy, deliciously desperate in a virginal sort of way. Dew holds his own knees and drifts, perfectly content to let him hump away while he enjoys the threat that comes with every bump against his rim, the way Aeon instinctively presses harder against him, and for a a touch longer each time. Pulls at his cock in time with the rolls of Aeon's hips and can't believe his luck, feels almost sick with joy that Aeon's gonna dissolve and Dew gets to be the first to witness the way he'll freak out over how good it feels. He'd like to cum the moment Aeon shoves it in, and he speeds up, but-

"Cum, gonna cum, unholy shit," Aeon babbles, faster than Dew expected. Much faster. Starts jackhammering, clearly unable to help himself, and the loss of control? Dew can only find endearing. "How's it gonna fit, oh, fuck, oh, Dew, Dew-"

He reaches up and grabs Aeon's face.

"You gotta shove it in," Dew growls. "You can do it, I know you can." Aeon looks at him through half-lidded eyes, mouth open, looking so fucking brainless. "You gotta get it in nice and deep." Words are hard, with how cruelly Aeon is fucking him. "C'mon, do it, fuckin' do it."

Aeon dribbles a little drool, too dumb to remember to swallow, sliding out over his lip and Dew pulls his head down to lick it off. That's enough. That's the trigger that does it; Aeon's eyes roll and he shoves forward and with a nice slick pop, Dew gets everything he wants, everything he could possibly want and then some with the high, reedy sound that forces itself from Aeon's throat. He curls in on himself like a overturned bug, and Dew's hand flies to his cock, jerking himself furiously while Aeon keeps squirting and throbbing and growing a touch bigger just like Dew had promised him, just enough to help keep him there, hold him in, like Dew isn't squeezing around him, like he isn't about to spasm and cum and prevent him from going anywhere all on his own. He's pressing exactly where Dew needs him to, and for a moment, Dew forgets about Aeon the person, and focuses solely on Aeon the sex toy, the knot he's going to use for his pleasure and cum around, the first knot his naive darling has ever popped.

It doesn't take much longer when Aeon begins whining, shaking uncontrollably while he cries something about too much sensation even as Dew still feels him throbbing inside. He howls when Dew finally cums, too, and collapses on top of him and begs for him to stop, and then for him to squeeze it some more.

Dew runs gentle nails up Aeon's sweaty back and can't help but laugh. A bit. He's held back the elation long enough.

[niningtori]

to know him is to love him, and i do | chapter one: do you not love me? like at all?

pairing(s): choi beomgyu x you, kang taehyun x you

summary: you love beomgyu more than anything. you just wish he loved you, too. or you finally break up with beomgyu and move on, but as for him? maybe he's starting to realize too little too late.

genre: romance, angst, angst with a happy ending (?)

word count: 2.1k

notes: hi friends! ... r u mad at me? be honest (*´ｪ｀*) i'm sorry i've been gone for so long, but i've had the worst writer's block with my other story. i decided to just post this because i couldn't get the idea of toxic!beomgyu out of my head. don't worry, he will suffer. anyway, i hope you like it!! if not, please don't hurt my feelings i beg.

"i told you it was nothing. why are you freaking out?"

"she was fucking you with her eyes, beomgyu!" you exclaim in frustration.

"and that's my fault how?"

"it's not your fault, but i'm sick of you entertaining women, let alone your actual fucking ex, while i'm standing right next to you!" his ex is just another fish in the barrel, or at least that's what he says, but the thought that they were intimate together at one point still makes you feel sick. truthfully, your boyfriend is handsome, so you've spent the better part of the past 10 months warding off the women who circle him like vultures. you wouldn't mind as much as you do if he seemed at all interested in helping you do so, especially when faced with his ex that you suspect he still has feelings for, but he does not. quite the opposite, actually. it's like he thrives off of the attention and god it hurts.

"i'm not entertaining anybody. i told her i have a girlfriend now," he, well, you would say argues, but it's said so nonchalantly it doesn't warrant the term.

"a girlfriend you proceeded to ignore while she hung off of your shoulders and laughed all night! i just don't understand how you don't understand how much it hurts my feelings. i'm a human too! how would you feel if my ex, who was very clearly interested in me, hung around me right in front of you?" and it's like you're explaining empathy to a child.

"me? i wouldn't give a fuck because it's not that serious," he replies with a slightly irritated shake of his head.

it's always like this. always. you're always the one who cares more between the two of you. you were the one who asked him out in the first place. you were the one who initiated your first kiss. your first fight. hell, even your first reconciliation. you're not stupid, you know he doesn't feel quite the same way you do, but he has to feel something, right? otherwise, why would he say yes to you when he's rejected so many other women? your brain hurts trying to wrap your head around it all.

"you're missing the point! if you were me, you would—" you begin frustratedly, but you cut yourself off. "you know what? i don't even have the energy to explain this to you. i don't understand why i have to explain basic human emotion to you and i really don't understand why i have to beg and plead for you to care about how i feel!" you all but shriek.

"you don't have to do shit, just leave if you're that fucking unhappy," he spits out angrily, which is the first real emotion — besides mild annoyance — you've seen out of him this entire conversation. he gets impatient when you're like this, which usually results in you relenting, but not tonight. you're far too hurt to let go so easily.

"you're right! i am unhappy! i just — why don't you care that i'm unhappy? what can i do to make you give a fuck about me?" you have a brave face on but you can feel your eyes getting hot and your voice trembling ever so slightly.

"you could try not being so damn needy, maybe that'd help."

your eyes redden even further and your lips unintentionally twist themselves into a sour frown. you hate it when he calls you needy because you do need a lot from him, it feels like. his time. his care. his attention and affection. yet you never seem to get it.

"do you not love me? like at all?" you ask. all of the venom in your tone has been sucked out mercilessly and you sound more helpless than angry.

"do you not realize how fucking crazy you sound?" he scoffs as if he can't fathom why you'd be upset. as if he's not watching you break down in real time.

"why won't you give me a straight answer?" you question, voice softer than it was before.

he does nothing but scowl and you know beomgyu well enough to know that he's avoiding your question. that's enough of an answer as it stands, really. he doesn't care. never has. probably never will.

"then why'd you even say yes to dating me?" you truly don't understand. you thought you were different. you thought he saw something in you he didn't see in his harem of other suitors, and trust that there were many.

"i dunno. i was just bored, i guess," he answers with a shrug and your world as you know it collapses. the man you love sees you as nothing more than a way to kill time. he's picking you up right now just to toss you away when the next shiny toy presents itself. and so far, you've let him drag you around because you love him. that's how much you love him. but looking at him now, at how unbothered he is, you wonder if you've even got anything left to give.

"i really do love you," you manage to squeeze out with a bitter smile. your poor heart is on display for the naked eye to see and it seems like he really couldn't care less, but that won't stop you from asking. "does that mean anything at all to you?"

"well, i'm sorry you feel that way," he says simply, "but that's not my fucking problem."

your heart sinks to your stomach and you feel like you're going to throw up. in this moment, as you watch the love of your life dismiss you like you're a fucking dog begging for scraps of food, you feel an overwhelming sense of clarity as you realize he doesn't love you. he doesn't even like you. he probably hates you, actually. like a mental montage, every moment in which he showed you that exact sentiment plays all at once in your head.

all those times you let him choose everything from movies to dinner because the idea of a compromise was inconceivable. all of those occasions, special and otherwise, where you were supposed to go out on a date, but he'd bail without a word and you'd forgive him with no apology. when you'd offer him your share of dessert because he ate all of his and you knew he wanted more, and he'd take it without so much as a thank you. how you'd sit and listen to him tell stories about how amazing his friends were, but he'd never even ask about your day. when those same friends would jokingly call you the perfect girlfriend and you thought it was an indication of how good your relationship was, but in reality, it was a way to tease him because the thought of actually being with you was so abhorrent and ridiculous that it must be a joke. all those times you told him you loved him and he'd just smile and kiss you deeper. memories like these flood your brain with a vengeance so cruel it makes your head ache, and in a way, you realize it's ridiculous to be surprised when there was so much proof of his feelings in the first place.

"oh. okay," you say with what you hope is a soft and unbothered laugh, but comes out more as a choked one. "i guess there's nothing left to say. i'll get my shit and go."

you hesitate for a few excruciatingly awkward moments before collecting yourself enough to start gathering your things, which are scattered haphazardly around his apartment from his bedroom to his bathroom. it's like a walk of shame, almost, and you feel even shittier when he plops down on the couch with a long suffering sigh as he begins to massage the bridge of his nose. you feel so small in this moment — like a petulant child who just got done throwing an unsuccessful tantrum — and you're now soaking in the sobering aftermath and sitting with the thought that he just watched you have a meltdown like he was watching a monkey putting on a show. how much more is he going to humiliate you? enough is enough, you think, so before you can actually finish collecting all of your belongings, you're scurrying out of the apartment. before you go, you glance back at him one last time. "beomgyu?" you ask tentatively, tears clouding your eyes.

"yeah?" he replies with a sigh. this is it, you think.

"i don't want to see you ever again," you say firmly. before he can reply, if he ever intended to in the first place, you slam the door.

-

there's a lot to love about beomgyu. for one, he's handsome, which is obvious, but he has a certain allure you could never help but be drawn in by. he's always been a charming man, but even more so when he's talking to a woman he's interested in. as interested as he could be, that is. he's funny and comically pompous when he wants to be, but still somehow down to earth despite it all.

he's been described as a mood-maker, and while he grew to resent that term, you thought it was at least partially true, if only in the context of your relationship. when he's sad, you're devastated. when he's happy, you're over the fucking moon. his feelings are your whole world. or were, you guess, since all that's over now.

it wasn't all bad all the time, you think. there were times where you thought he really might reciprocate even a fraction of what you felt for him, and most of the time, that was enough. you could work with that. love looks different for everyone, you would reason. maybe he just had a funny way of showing it.

there were days where you'd laugh together and end the night lying in each other's arms while you'd cradle him like he was the most precious thing in the whole world because, to you, he really was. he was normally so boisterous when with his friends, but while he would never admit it to anyone else, he'd tell you about some of his insecurities while you gently combed your fingers through his long, silky hair. he'd speak of regrets and longing for people to take him more seriously. he'd never say it, but he wanted people to see you like you saw him. the real him. you'd let him cry while your hands cupped his cheeks and you'd shush him while he fiddled mindlessly with your hair like a child. you'd kiss his the tip of his reddened nose until he laughed instead of cried. times like those, you'd really think you were someone special to him. but now you realize you were wrong. you were just an outlet for him, and anyone willing to be an emotional dumping ground would do the trick too.

after a few weeks of moping, your sadness has begun to morph into anger and resentment. you spent nearly a year of your life trying to make an emotionally stunted man care about you, and that's not even counting the years of pining over him before you finally worked up the courage to ask him out. it was difficult to see it in the moment, but after being away from him for so long, it's crystal clear that he was honestly just an asshole who didn't really like you. nothing more, nothing less. maybe he'd find someone to change for someday, maybe he'd even work things out with his ex, but for whatever reason, you weren't her. that's just the way it goes, you guess. what really bothers you are the "what if's" of the situation. what if you were prettier, or smarter, or kinder. would he have seen you for who you really are? would he have grown to appreciate you if you had given him more to appreciate?

either way, there's no use crying over spilled milk now. you won't be going back to him any time soon and he certainly won't come crawling back to you. you'll continue to think of him less and less until your time together fades into a distant (and unpleasant) memory. you smile at the thought.

[ccsainzleclerc5516]

This Is Where You Stand With Me (part 2)

Pairing: Charles Leclerc x reader

Warnings: none

Part 1 here

Y/N's POV

"Hola madre!" I say jokingly as my mother answered the phone.

"Too much influence from Sophie's boyfriend or what?" She chuckles.

"Yeah, something like that." I laugh adjusting myself on the couch. "How are you? What's new?" I ask.

"Nothing much, I'm just going back home from work. What's up with you?"

"I'm enjoying my day off from work." I say biting my lip not sure how's she going to react to my new "job" which I haven't told her about yet. But I'm certain she's not going to be thrilled about it.

"What do you mean y/n? What work?" As soon as she says "Y/N" I know there's no joking anymore.

"Well," I take a deep breath before I continue. "First of all, don't freak out, it's only my temporary job, you know while I'm here in Monaco with Sophie. And second of all, I started working for Ferrari practically. I'm managing their social media."

"Explain it a bit better, please. What does that mean?" She asks confused.

"Basically, I'm spending a lot of time with their drivers. I'm filming them for social media, like when they're getting ready for the race, asking them some questions, filming behind the scenes like what happens before the race, filming them training and stuff like that you know. And I edit those videos and then post them." I try to explain to her as simply as possible. but my mom, like most others, is not on the internet, she is not interested in the world of social media and probably still does not understand why anyone would be interested in any of this.

"So who are you filming then? Sophie's boyfriend and?"

"Carlos and Charles." As I say his name my mind wanders briefly to Charles and the grand prix from last weekend. I wonder how he is, and if he talked to Ava. and what happened between them afterwards. I also wonder if he has already thrown somewhere the bracelet I gave him. As I've already said, you just never know with him.

"Y/n?" My mom's voice snaps me out of my thoughts. "Are you even listening to me?"

"Sorry my thoughts wandered for a moment. What did you ask?"

"I asked if you are satisfied with that job? Are you treated well? What are those boys like?" Like any mother, she worriedly asks a million questions and I, like any other daughter, of course, will not tell her everything in detail.

I have always been close to my mother, but I never liked to share every detail of my life with her, even though she wanted to know it. But I just wasn't comfortable with her knowing all my private things. I believe that you can be close to your mother, without her being involved in all your decisions, attitudes and thoughts. We talk more or less about everything, but I have set some boundaries for myself about what I want to share with her and I think that's exactly why we have a relatively good and healthy relationship.

"Yeah, I mean it's not something I'll do forever, it's just a temporary type of thing, so while I'm here I might as well earn some money." I say. "And everybody's nice to me, of course, I already told you that Carlos is a wonderful person and boyfriend to Sophie, and Charles..He's not so bad either."

"You don't sound so convincing with the other one." She says referring to Charles.

"Don't worry really, both of them are very nice, it's just that I don't know Charles very well yet and I haven't spent much time with him so I can't say much about him." I say honestly.

While talking to her on the phone, I get up and head to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. While walking to the kitchen, I pass by the mirror and almost get scared when I see what I look like. Shaggy hair in a bun, without a hint of makeup, braless in an extra-large t-shirt with a print of Los Pollos Hermanos that also serves as my nightgown and house slippers on my feet. I guess I'm not one of those ex girlfriends that has a glow up after a breakup, but oh well.

"Well, as long as you're happy and safe, I'm fine with it." My mom says. "And besides, I think it's good for you that you left Manchester for a bit. Stay as long as you want."

"Really?" I am a bit taken aback and surprised by her words. "How come you think so?" I ask while waiting for coffee to be poured from the machine into the cup.

"I-I.." Just as she was about to say something the doorbell rings. Sophie went to lunch with Carlos, I doubt they forgot their keys.

"Mom, there's someone at the door, I'll have to call you a little later, okay?"

"Okay, we'll talk later, bye." She says and I hung up the phone.

I leave my phone on the kitchen counter and just as I'm about to go into the hallway to open the door, I accidentally pull the cup with my hand and spill hot coffee on my right thigh.

"Ouchh!" I almost scream in pain while the hot coffee continues to pour down my leg. "Fuck!!" My eyes get watery from the pain and stinging. Cursing my clumsiness I grab a cloth and wipe my thigh which is burning more and more and the doorbell keeps ringing. I go and open the front door when none other than Charles is standing leaning against the door frame.

"Charles, what are you doing here?" I ask with a sniff. I don't open the door all the way, but just peek out with my head. The last thing I needed is him here while I'm crying over my coffee burn and looking like I got mowed by a tornado.

"Y/n, are you alright? Why are you crying?" He asks, his expression immediately turned serious as he tries to enter.

"I just spilled hot coffee on myself. Please don't come in.." I really don't want him to see me like this.

"Let me help you." He says ignoring me and coming in anyway closing the door behind him.

"No, Charles..I-I'll be fine." I say pulling my t-shirt down with one hand and still holding the cloth with the other one.

"Let me see." He bends down and removes my hand with which I'm holding the cloth. "You got burned well." He says.

"Yeah, I can feel it. It hurts pretty bad."

"Come here." He waves his hand for me to follow him into the bathroom. It seems like he has already been in this apartment before. They probably had some gathering at Sophie's, so he knows where everything is.

"Sit there." He says pointing to the tub as he takes a small towel from the shelf under the sink and soaks it in cold water. I briefly feel a sense of relief as he kneels down in front of me and places a wet towel over my burn.

"You know, I really appreciate your help, but I feel terribly uncomfortable-"

"Yeah, I already saw that you don't have a bra on." He cuts me off and my cheeks instantly get as red as the burn on my thigh.

"You don't have to point it out like that.." I can't help but chuckle a little at his nonchalant response.

"You really do have to stop embarrassing yourself in front of me." He laughs.

"Why did you come here in the first place?" I ask shaking my head.

"I'm here to pick up Carlos. We agreed to go to the gym together, and he said he would be at Sophie's." He says taking the towel off my thigh and soaking it again. "So here I am. Where are the two of them anyway?"

"They went out for lunch. I think they should be back any minute now since they've been gone for a while." As he comes back with the cold towel I notice that he's wearing the red bracelet I gave him last weekend. He puts the towel over my thigh again and gently presses it.

"And what are you doing alone in the apartment, except destroying it?" I really like this funny side of Charles. For I moment I wished he could be like this all the time.

"Certainly not waiting for you." I playfully answer back.

"Yeah, sure you aren't." He says confidently and I roll my eyes at him. "I'm going to clean up that coffee you spilled on the floor." You can see the kitchen from the bathroom, so he definitely made sure I knew that he saw the mess I made.

While Charles is cleaning up in the kitchen, I quickly go to my room and put on shorts and a bra under my t shirt. Since he's already seen me at my worst, I decide not to fix my hair but to leave it messy like this. It's already too late now to look presentable anyway.

"Have you put on a bra yet?" He asks shamelessly as I enter the kitchen.

"Has anyone ever told you that you can be very inappropriate?" I honestly ask him.

"Quite rude thing to say to someone who just helped you."

"Thank you. Charles. For your generous help." I say slightly sarcastically through gritted teeth. "Do you want me to check when they're coming back?"

"Why? Can't wait to get rid of me?"

"No." I roll my eyes. "I'm just asking if you're in a hurry."

"I'm not. I'll wait for him. I hope they'll be back soon." He says taking a seat on the high chair at the kitchen island.

"Do you want something to drink while you wait?"

"A glass of water will do."

I reach for a glass from the top kitchen unit and in the process I scratch the injured thigh on the handle of the lower element. I wince in pain and curse under my breath.

"Be careful, where is your towel?" Charles asks me getting up from the chair. Before I can say I left it on the tub, he's already back from the bathroom with it. "Sit there." He almost orders me and I do it obediently while he soaks the towel again in the kitchen sink. He moves my hand from my thigh and puts the wet towel over it.

I don't know why, but I decide not to tell him that I can do it myself. And he doesn't say it either but proceeds to hold his hand a little longer over the cold compress looking down at it and gently pressing on it. I lift up my head to look up at him and for a second we lock our eyes together without saying a word.

"I-I.." In a moment of nervousness I wanted to say something just to break the silence, but luckily I hear the front door open. Charles quickly moves his hand away and goes to the opposite side of the kitchen island clearing his throat.

"Hello..guys..?" Sophie says as Carlos and her enter the kitchen looking very confused at the scene before them.

part 3

[starlight-bread-blog]

Katara is More Patient Then We Give Her Credit for

Katara has been getting a lot of flak for supposedly being hot headed and getting angry at very minor things. Even those who love Katara seem to accept this as the truth. But it's not. In reality, Katara is simply a female character who owns her rage. And I feel like there are two main components that debunk this notion.

Warning: Long, long post.

1. In the instances where Katara is angry it's either justified or makes sense in context.

The Waterbending Scroll

Katara stole, wouldn't you know it, a waterbending scroll. She practices before giving it to Aang, and fails hard. Then Aang who she's supposed to be teaching, gets it right and explains how to do it. Katara has an outburst.

Katara: Will you please shut your air-hole! Believe it or not your infunite wisdom gets a little old sometimes. Why don't we just throw the scroll away since you're so naturally gifted!

Why is Katara that mad here? Why did she have an outburst? Because she was carrying the burden of being the last waterbender of the Southern Water Tribe her whole life. Because her waterbending is the reason Kya died. Because she have been independently studying waterbending her whole life. And now her student is having it all easy and is trying to teach her.

And wouldn't you know it, she realized what she did immediatly. Literally, a second later.

Katara: Oh my gosh Aang. I am so sorry. I don't know what came over me. But you know what, it won't happen again. Here [the scroll] is yours. I don't wanna have anything to do with it anymore.

She even apologized to Momo. Katara had an isecurity rooted in trauma and pressure. When Aang try to teach her she hit a breaking point and lashed out. And not one second later she's already apologizing.

The Waterbending Master

Katara and Aang are going to see Pakku, the waterbending master. But when Pakku sees she's a girl, he says he won't teach her. This is why Katara gets angry. She flew across seas just to get rejected due Pakku is being a sexist freak. I think we can all agree that being denied something because of sexism is a good reason to get angry. And when Katara realized Pakku won't teach Aang if she'll keep insisting, she drops it abd tells Aang to drop it too.

However, that doesn't mean she won't study in secret. She deserved to learn waterbending and she knew it. She took the consequences into consideration and decided to not make a fuss.

But of course, they both get caught. Pakku says he will no longer teach Aang, the Avatar who absolutly needs to study and still refuses to teach Katara because he's still sexist. Only then Katara challenges him to a duel. Only when they have nothing to lose. She challenged a sexist prick to a duel, one who shamelessly denied her oppretunity because of her gender.

The Chase

At the start of the episode Katara gently hints Toph to help unpack a camp for the night. This is when she's not tired yet, and shows patience.

Katara: So Toph, usually when setting up camp, we try to divide up the work.

Toph: Hey, don't worry about me. I'm good to go.

Katara (still calmly): Well, actually, what I'm trying to say is, some of us might fetch water while someone else might set up the fire pit or put up the tent. *smiles* Even Momo does his fair share.

Toph (slightly irritated): Katara, I'm fine. I can carry my own weight. I don't need a fire. I've already collected my own food. And look. *earth bends a tent* My tent's all set up.

Katara: Well, that's great for you but we still need to finish-

Toph (loudly): I don't understand. What's the problem here??

Katara: Never mind.

Katara then goes to apologize. While also attempting to make sure her and Toph are on good terms by having her acknoledge that she wasn't 100 absolutly in the right.

Katara: Hey Toph, I wanted to apologize for earlier. I think we're all just a little tired and getting on each other's nerves.

Toph: Yeah, you do seem pretty tired.

Katara (slightly irrutated): I meant all of us.

Toph: Well, good night.

Katara: Good night.

By all means, Toph is in the wrong for the sheer refusal for communication. At first Katara calmly explained to her what was needed without even spelling it out. Toph was being passive, so she dropped it. And then she apologizes after doing nothing wrong just so they could be on good terms. Toph was the one being passive agressive. And Katara pretty much let it slide.

This is Katara. The patience she showed right here is her natural, normal self. The rest of the episode is under the context of sleep deprivation and how it's making them all hostile to each other. Including the pacifist Aang. Who's outburst leads Toph to leave. After she does, both Aang and Katara express remorse.

(Side note: I heard people take issue with the line "The stars sure are beautiful tonight, too bad you can't see them, Toph". It's been interpreted as Katara making fun of Toph for being blind, but it's just another instance in the recurring joke of the Gaang forgetting Toph is blind, and listed as such in the official A:TLA Youtube channel).

The Runaway

Update: This section, especially, is majorly outdated.

The episode has a silly opening where Aang is trained by Toph and Katara. Toph misses and accidently hits Katara with a big rock. After Toph doesn't apologize, it leads into a fight which is absolutly not to be taken seriously, that ends with Aang pointing out that it was supposed to be training.

It doesn't work as an exapmle for supposed hot-headedness because the reason this whole thing started because Toph hit Katara with a rock and refused to apologize.

But moving on to the real conflict of these episode, Toph scammed someone and Katara makes it clear that they shouldn't do it again, it'll draw attention to them. Aang promises her it won't happen again but.. um.. you know what happened.

Katara, being responsible, told them to quit because they'd potentially get exposed. Toph didn't reach well, telling her to lighten up. Katara rightfully gets angry, because they really might get exposed and Toph is dismissing her like her concerns are nothing. They have a short argument and Toph storms out.

This is why Katara was angry this episode. Her reasoning for being upset is the Gaang potentially exposing themselves for easy money. That's the conflict.

The Painted Lady

In this episode Katara sees a starving Fire Nation village but Sokka won't allow them to stay due to time limits. So she faked a disease for Appa so they could. Sokka confronts her. At first, she gives up and packs to leave. But since she destroyed the factory that's been polluting the villages water and taking their medicine, the people in charge assumed it was the civilians, and were coming to attack. Sokka and Katara get into a small but intense argument. Important to note, that she doesn't react intensively until Sokka does.

Katara: Well, what was I supposed to do?

Sokka: Leave! Do nothing.

Katara: No! I will never, ever turn my back on people who need me.

Her anger here doesn't highlight hot-headedness, it highlights compassion. Compassion is one of Katara's core traits. She's angry because she's being angrily demanded to see people suffer and stand by. And she will not tolerate it. She will never, ever turn her back on people who need her.

2. In reality, Katara is defined by her patience and compassion.

What I did here was listing off times where Katara did get angry. But Katara is generally a caring, kind person. Rather if it's cheering up Sokka, going shopping with him after he admitted to feeling useless; if it's pulling Aang out of the Avatar state, putting herself at risk when he's out of control; if it's helping deliver a baby of a stranger; or if it's freeing prisoners of the Fire Nation. She demonstrates impressive patience throughout the show.

The Deserter

In this episode Aang was asked to just control fire. Aang gets irrutated himself at this, but Katara assured him that it's probably for a good reaso. But when his master left, he firebent. He was being extremely careless with his new found Fire Bending and burned Katara's hands.

Did she...

A. splashed some water at him.

B. Yelled at him.

C. Ran away crying.

Yeah, she didn't express anger at all. Sokka was who's angry at Aang.

The Desert

The sand benders stole Appa and the Gaang is suck in a desert. Katara demonstrates her patience a lot this episode.

Toph and Aang are arguing about Toph not stopping them.

Aang: You just didn't care! You never liked Appa! You wanted him gone.

Katara: Aang, stop it. You know Toph did all she could. She saved our lives.

Sokka: Who's gonna save our lives now? We'll never make itout of here.

Aang: That's all any of you guys care about, yourselves. You don't care whether Appa is okay or not.

Katara: We're all concerned, but we can't afford to be fighting now.

Aang accused the Gaang of something horrible. Katara told him to stop, but still understood his anger and calmly explained to him that it's important not to fight in a life threatening situation.

Aang then storms out to look for Appa. Katara's response?

Katara: We'd better start walking. We're the only people who know about the solar eclipse. We have to get that information to Ba Sing Se.

She didn't get angry, she was rational and thought about the greater good.

After Aang comes back, Katara suggest they should try sleeping, gives the Gaang all of her bending water without drinking herself. And then finds a way to get to Ba Sing Se using the locations of star systems.

The Gaang spots a cloud and mistakes it for Appa. But Katara realizes the potential in a cloud. She tells Aang to fly and bend the water from the cloud so they could drink.

Katara (disappoibted): Wow, there's hardly any in here.

Aang (intensively): I'm sorry, okay? It's a desert cloud, I did all I could. What's anyone else doing? *Points at Katara* What are you doing?

After dealing with everyone's tireness, Sokka's high nonsense and Aang's attitude, carrying everyone, thinking of possible solutions to ensure they'd all survive, how did she react to Aang accusing her of not doing enough?

Katara: Trying to keep everyone together. Let's just get moving. We need to head this direction.

And after everything she did for everyone, she pulls Aang out of the Avatar state when he's raging, out of control.

Katara is not so hot headed.

She's sweet, nurturing and caring. She demonstrated incredible patience and perhaps even saved the Gang's life in The Desert with her resilience. Katara's compassion is her defining trait.

But that doesn't mean she's not a human being – she's allowed to be flawed, and in the moments where she does, she's very remorseful. And in the moments where she doesn't, people will still hold her accoutable for simply feeling a justified emotion.

Does it make you oh-so-hot headed to stand up to a sexist denying her opportunity? To make sure your friends don't destroy your chances to win a war? To not tolerate being told to see people in need and do nothing in a middle if an argument she didn't start? Of course it doesn't.

And other characters are allowed to express anger, to be flawed, in ways that are way worse than Katara without being labelled annoying hot headed by the fandom.

Katara is widly known to be irrational, letting her anger get the better of her, but it's simply not true.

[silver-itallics]

My Favorite Inside Source pt 2

Part 1!

Pairing: Leon Kennedy x Reader

Warnings: smut, masturbation, toxic behavior, mentions of rape, heavy choking, Leon being a grumpy old man, p in v, light mentions oral and fingering (f receiving), guilt (kinda)

!! Contains dark content !!

"do it and do it again..."

Leon is silent for a few moments. You're looking at him like he hung the stars. Really all he did was hang your knees over his shoulders last night.

"What?" He blurts.

He never was the type to think before he speaks. But this doesn't throw off your rhythm, though. Maybe there's more cotton in your head than there is a brain.

"I wanted to say thank you." You repeat, holding up the pan of bacon. "I had a good time last night."

You didn't seem like you had a good time. Leon looks down, confirming that you're still not wearing panties. That's because he stuffed them in his drawer, and your blood is still on his sheets.

For once, you're not the one looking stupid. Leon knows he looks like an idiot, but he can't stop staring at you like you're in one of those old carnival freak shows. But this just makes you laugh. You turn back to the stove, finish off the bacon and put it on a plate.

"I actually wanted you to do that. Sorry I freaked you out. No one has ever tried to do something like that to me before," you're grinning, despite the fact that your words could send you to a psychiatric ward.

Leon just stares wide eyed at you, as you sit him down on his ripped couch, putting a plate of food on his lap. First, you're his rape victim, and now you're his housewife? He's not sure if he should be thankful or not. Definitely not.

He pokes at the plate as you set a cup of orange juice near him. "You shouldn't be thanking me," Leon mutters. His voice is cold, shaggy bangs hanging in his eyes. He can't see, but that's the point. He just wishes you'd disappear.

"I know it's messed up, but…" you blabber on about the fantasy, and Leon tunes you out. You're just like him, in a way; you're both stupid, and neither of you know when to shut up. But at least you're not a monster. If anything, you seem like a sweet kid.

Kid.

Fuck.

"How old are you?" Leon asks, completely interrupting you. Slowly, you blink at him a few times. You look like you're going to say something to him about interrupting you, but instead you just answer.

You explain how you're in college, only a semester in. A smile crosses your face again as you chatter on.

Leon groans, covering his face. The plate in his lap tips, but you catch it before the scrambled eggs splatter on the floor. You take it from him gently, setting it on a cluttered table nearby.

"Did I do something wrong?" You ask, kneeling at his side. Your smaller fingers massage the muscles in his knees, and Leon has to try to push your hands away as politely as possible. He's so touch starved he might get hard just from the innocent gesture.

"No. You didn't do anything wrong," Leon sighs. He's the one that's gone and fucked up, yet you can't seem to understand that. The only thing you've done is started to follow him around like a baby duck does to its mother.

You look at him with big, watery eyes and he bites his lip to stop from groaning in annoyance. Before you can say anything, he cuts you off again.

"Don't you have school today?" He asks, trying to get you to take the hint to leave.

"It's Saturday," you reply, squeezing Leon's knee.

"Go buy me a six pack of beer from the gas station, then," he suggests. Please, please leave, Leon pleads in his mind.

"I'm not twenty-one yet," is what you reply. Leon should've known. God abandoned him years ago.

He doesn't want to yell at you, but he does. "Christ, kid!" Leon finally lifts his head up, grabbing his wallet on the crowded table. He shoves a twenty in your hands, the force pushing you back and startling you.

"Go buy some candy or something. Knock yourself out." He stands up, hoping that'll force you to leave. Maybe he'll take an angry shower. Sometimes that helps.

You clasp the dollar bill in your hands, looking like a deer in headlights. "Do you want anything?" You ask cautiously.

Leon turns, giving you a glare. "Go." With that, you scurry out the door to find the nearest gas station.

As soon as you're out of the door, Leon needs a fucking drink. You've definitely got the same type of parasite that he has, but yours is a more obnoxious, loud one, while his is a silent killer.

He's not sure if he'd rather go at the hands of this parasite or his own.

In his room, Leon yanks open one of the drawers in his nightstand. The one that has the "emergency whiskey" as he calls it. Instead, he finds your stupid panties that he shoved in there on a whim.

He reaches forward, hooking a finger in the lacy fabric. Underneath is a flask of whiskey, which Leon downs in a few seconds. As he does, Leon unfolds your panties from the ball he crumpled them into.

They're pretty. He never really looked at them last night. The panties are white lace, with a small bow at the front.

Leon blames the parasite when he lifts them to his nose. He inhales the same sweet musk from the night before. You.

Your pussy is probably your best feature, in look, feel, and now smell.

The drawer snaps closed, the contents disappearing along with the panties he'd thrown back in.

He needs a shower.

The warm water soothes his muscles, but comfort isn't something Leon is used to. Warm reminds him of you. Your cunt, your tits, you sleeping on his chest.

He switches the water to cold.

That's better. The water makes him feel a little more awake, more coherent. Things stopped making sense the moment he slipped those pills in your drink.

As Leon washes himself, he starts to think that the shower is helping with the thoughts of you. Then he gets to his crotch. He's not gross, most of the time, and actually washes his dick.

But the moment he takes it in his hand, he's imagining your smaller hands around it, the teary eyes you were giving him earlier. Which reminds him of the way you sobbed around his cock, and makes everything worse.

Leon can feel himself getting hard in his own hand. He's literally remembering raping you and getting hard?! Well, you did squeeze him tighter than any chokehold he's gotten put in, but that's not the point.

He slams his head against the wall of the shower, causing one of the three shower bottles to clatter to the floor. Your knuckles tap on the door, startling him even more than his own thoughts. You must be back from your trip to the gas station.

"Are you okay, Leon?" You yell over the running water.

The way you say his name reminds him of when you said it before, hands on his chest to try to push him off. He stiffens even more.

"Fine," he yells back. Nothing about this is fine. Why are you still here? And why is he getting hard to the thought of you again? That was supposed to be a one time thing. Or a never thing, really.

Hearing your footsteps recede, he takes his cock in a firm hand, stroking like he's done so many times before. His hand isn't as tight as you. For a moment he wonders how wet he can get you next time.

His fist squeezes hard on his dick, causing Leon to wince. What the hell's gotten into him? Reluctantly, his hand starts moving again, loosening his grip. He cums with a low groan to the thought of your tits.

Panting, Leon watches his cum wash down the drain. He wishes he could wash you away.

Apparently that won't be happening, as when he gets out of the shower and dresses himself, you're in the living room. You're eating gummy bears, sorting them into piles by color. One of the stupid toys out of a kinder egg is on the floor nearby. God, you're really a child. Not really, but you act like one. Can't believe he stuck his dick in you, now he's watching you make Frankenstein gummy bears.

You look up when Leon enters, immediately looking away because he's only wearing sweatpants. He rolls his eyes, but tries to ignore the way your shyness makes his heart thump.

"Why are you still here?" He really needs to work on watching his mouth. And not raping girls he found in bars, but that's a personal issue.

You look a little sad for a moment, but smile as you pick up some coins and a dollar off the table. Leon stares at you with a look of disapproval.

"I gave you a twenty," he scolds, like you're a child. Mentally, you probably are. Physically, you've got some nice tits.

"I know. Inflation is really bad nowadays," you bite the head off a green gummy bear and stick it to the body of a red one.

"What the hell did you even buy?" This is getting ridiculous.

"Uh, a bag of gummy bears, a kinder egg, and a soda. Oh, I also got you this!" You smile, taking a coke and two chocolate bars from behind your back. They're both different kinds because you didn't know what he liked. Leon watches as you set the items on the table.

"I told you not to get me anything," he's standing over you like he's trying to intimidate you, but you don't seem to notice. When he's not angry with you, you think he is. But when he is, you don't care. You're even worse than a child.

"I know," you chirp. "But I didn't want you to be sad while watching me eat."

Leon goes quiet. Really, it's a nice gesture. Even if it's his own money. He sits next to you on the couch, doing his best to put as much space between the two of you. You eat until you feel like you're on the cusp of a stomach ache, and fold up the bag of candy, then put it on the table.

Then you're lying your head on his shoulder, melting into him. Leon wants to push you away, but he's more shocked when you speak. You seem to do that a lot. Surprise him. He never liked surprises.

"Do you know where my underwear went? I accidentally went out without them," you chuckle, like it's funny. It's not. You're stupid, parading your pussy around in a tiny skirt. Don't you know that gets the wrong kind of attention? But Leon isn't the greatest person to give that type of advice, considering he's the one that gave you the wrong kind of attention in the first place.

"I lost 'em," he lies. Leon doesn't even know why he does. Maybe he wants to keep them, or just wants to get a glimpse of your ass when you walk around his house. He used to take an hour to get it up, but now he's popping a boner at the sight of you. Why don't you just kill him already? Y'know, you probably are already. Slowly, and quietly. He won't know he's done for until his eyes fall out of his skull. Maybe you'd finally leave if that happened.

But like that parasite, he can't seem to get rid of you. Like you're a tumor on his frontal lobe, he can't get rid of you without it killing him or changing him permanently. Seems like you've already done the second one, though. He never thought about taking someone unconscious or even without consent before you. You're like the forbidden fruit, but full of maggots and rot.

What the hell are you even doing to him? He's screwed. But probably more screwed up than anything.

But the worst part is: you won't leave.

The sun set a long time ago, leaving you two in the near dark with some cowboy movie playing on the TV. There's a take out box in your lap from a cheap Chinese restaurant that Leon ordered from. He's not really sure why he did it. You were complaining that you were hungry, and he wanted to shut you up like a baby with a pacifier. Did the trick for about fifteen minutes, but now you've got that look on your face that means you're thinking. Leon didn't know you could do that.

"Leon, what are we?" You ask, clicking your chopsticks together after shoving an ungodly amount of noodles into your mouth.

Leon almost powers down at the question.

His silence makes you start to ramble.

"Well, I was just wondering… because I've never really had sex with anyone. We hit it off last night and I-"

Sex. You think that was sex? Good God, he's really messed up. Or just chose the wrong victim. Leon isn't sure if he'd rather you go to the police or do what you're doing now. Honestly, he'd rather you try to lock him up. Maybe that'll control him. He wouldn't get out of his job either way.

"That wasn't sex," he snaps at you.

You wilt like a dying flower. Leon can't look at you when you make a face like that. He feels too guilty.

"I never said you had to have feelings for me. There's like, friends with benefits," you're trying to convince him to put a label to you. Leon wishes he didn't even know your name. That way he wouldn't have any reminder of you. But you're like a tick, digging your fangs into him so you stay stuck to his skin.

Leon remembers some shitty therapy session he had after a mission. They told him to take deep breaths when he's upset. Ground himself. But Leon isn't a man of therapy. He believes he can't really be fixed. So he yells at you. Again.

"Why can't you get it through your thick skull? You're a victim!" He sets his food down. His appetite disappeared a long time ago. Standing up, he tries to get away from you. But there's really nowhere to go. Especially with the way you draw him in like a magnetic force field.

You stir your food a few times, not sure how to feel. On one hand, you're angry that Leon doesn't seem to get your intentions. But mostly, his words hurt.

"I told you: I wanted it. I don't really mind it… whatever you call it," you sigh, setting your food down as well. When you start to clean up after him is what makes Leon's heart ache.

He's so mean to you, but you come back like a dog playing fetch. Each time, you drop the ball by his feet, a smile on your face. You run and go get the ball no matter how loud he yells or how hard he hits you. You remind him a little bit of himself in that sense. He wants you surgically removed.

"We can even do it again if you want. I'll let you," you try to plead with your eyes, doing everything in your power to get Leon to like you. He doesn't really like anything, especially himself.

Your words make him feel sick, leaving the older man to ignore you most of the night. But without a verbal cue to leave, you stay. You're not sure why you do it, but the next thing you know is you're fast asleep on Leon's ratty couch. At least you're smart enough not to sleep in bed with him.

Reluctantly, you sleep on Leon's couch. The springs dig into your back and you can barely get comfortable. Leon didn't give you a blanket either, so you're cold. The only one you found isn't even big enough to cover you.

Leon can't sleep. Your words repeat in his head, over and over. You're like an itch- the more he thinks about you, the more it bothers him. But he can't force himself to stop thinking about you either.

With a groan, he pushes up out of bed. He needs a beer. His emergency whiskey is gone, since he drank it this morning, also because of you.

Past his bedroom is the living room, then the kitchen. You left the light on in the kitchen as a night light, illuminating your form on the couch. You're an obstacle blocking his way from greatness. Technically, a cold beer. Same thing.

He inches forward, and you shift when a floorboard creaks under Leon's weight. Why is he even so scared or cautious? You're just a kid, couldn't do a thing if you woke up. The thought goes directly to his cock, reminding Leon exactly why he's been so guarded around you.

While he's caught in his thoughts, you move onto your stomach, that tiny blanket doing nothing to cover your ass. God, he wishes now that he gave you some clothes, since your puffy lips are poking out from underneath your skirt.

His mission is immediately forgotten.

Leon beelines for you instead, moving faster than he has in ten years. Pushing your legs wider, he kneels between them, hovering over you. Were you always this pretty? Or maybe he just likes you when you're sleeping. Fucking creep.

One hand holding himself up on the arm of the couch, he reaches around you to toy with your nipples. Last time, he was just searching for an object of pleasure, anything would do. But now he's got this little attachment to you.

This relationship, if it can even be called that, is closer to folie a deux than love. The madness of two. You've got this shared sickness between you both and only the other one can quench it.

Which is a very eloquent way to explain that Leon doesn't know why he wants to fuck you. Or why he's gently rubbing his bare knee over your core.

He's rough still, but he pays more attention to you this time. In his mind, you're almost a person. Almost.

Leaning down, Leon pulls his hands away from your tits, prying your thighs open instead. Slowly he licks you open, tasting the sweet slick you produce. It's not like candy, as Leon's a pessimist. He doesn't like to sugar coat things. But he can't stop his tongue from dipping in your slit and down to your clit until you're squirming and whining.

He wants you awake this time.

Maybe you'll fight like last time, maybe you won't. He isn't sure which he likes better. You're sweet, and it almost seems like you'd do anything for him. He wants to earn that privilege. Even if he's nowhere near worthy of your trust.

You moan softly, struggling to break through the barrier of sleep. Leon's tongue moves faster, holding your ass cheeks apart so he can watch the way you clench around nothing. When you cry out is when he knows you're awake. Your hips shift much more, he's not sure if you're fighting or if his tongue just feels good.

"Leon..?" You mumble, looking over your shoulder with glassy eyes. All you can register is the tingly feeling you've got between your legs. Then he stops.

You're flipped over on your back, Leon above you. He didn't know he still had strength like that. Guess being horny gives you superpowers.

This time he actually undresses you. He's treating you better than garbage, but only slightly. Leon's callused hands are still rough as he pulls and pinches your nipples.

Once you're conscious, you seem to be into it. Leon's not used to that. He's used to being pushed away, ridiculed for his taste and constantly manipulated. Maybe that's why he keeps you around: because you treat him nicely. Or just because you don't leave.

But what Leon is good at is self sabotage. He's excellent at it, actually. Once your skirt is off, he pushes two fingers in your hole without bothering to trim his nails earlier. You can feel him scratch your insides as he stretches you out.

He watches you squirm and cry in pleasure and discomfort, ultimately deciding it's not enough for him. Leon pulls himself out of his boxers, spitting on his hand before pumping a few times.

"You said you wanted this, yeah?" He asks, but it's a little late for asking permission. Before you can nod, his bulky hands wrap around your throat. At the same time, Leon pushes his dick inside all the way to the hilt. You feel like you're being torn in half and twisted like a pretzel at the same time.

"Thought you wanted this," he says again, taunting you. He pushes all the way inside just to pull almost all the way out at a slow pace.

You'd scream if his hands weren't blocking your airway.

Leon knows the difference between choking for pleasure and choking to kill. He's knocked his fair share of people out using the same method he's using on you. You can barely focus on the feeling of him moving inside you when you're worried he's going to kill you.

You trust Leon to an extent, but you know he's unpredictable. Which is why you squirm, thrash, and kick as much as you can.

"What, can you not handle it? Can you not handle me?" He lifts you up by the neck just to bring your body back down to the couch as he speaks. Leon feels like he's losing it as his hands clamp down on your fragile windpipe.

If he was choking you for your pleasure, he'd just squeeze the sides of your neck to cut off your blood flow. Make you a little dizzy. But right now, you can't breathe.

After having no oxygen for a few seconds, you start to run on instinct, panic flooding your body. Leon can feel your walls tighten around him as you weakly thrash in his grasp. For a few seconds, he likes it. But your nails are clawing at his arms, eyes wide and mouth open.

You're terrified. Of him.

The same person that refused to leave his apartment all day is looking up at him in pure terror. Leon slows his thrusts when he realizes all the usual pigment in your face is gone. He doesn't choke you for more than a minute, but it feels like eternity.

You gasp, hands flying to your own throat as soon as Leon lets go. Tears flood your eyes in relief. As much as you talk about wanting to be raped, for some reason, Leon's brain is hellbent on making you hate it. Teach you a lesson, maybe.

He means to say he's sorry. He wants to. But the only words that come out of Leon's mouth are: "you're an idiot for staying."

Part of the sentence is an apology in itself, but he's too much of a coward to come to terms with his feelings. In his job, he was always told he was too emotional. But everywhere else, he's too cold.

Leon shallowly thrusts in and out of you, looking at your tits instead of your terror-stricken face. You're still moaning, but the sound is strained and scratchy, not sweet and soft like usual. Turns out toys aren't as fun if you break them.

You don't cum, even if you tighten around him. Your brain is still too fearful to fully relax enough to orgasm. But Leon does. Maybe he gets off to the fear in your eyes. Just a little.

But really, he likes the power he has over you. Nobody else listens to him, but you do. Why do you do that? You're really unlike everyone else. You treat him differently. Which is why he has to treat you differently too.

He has to break you, but not completely. Just enough for you to understand that he's no good. He's a rotten old perverted man that only has a good ten years left. Only if he doesn't get snapped in half on his next mission.

Leon pulls out, groaning quietly as he busts on your stomach. Your skin is painted in white, like he's claiming his territory. You don't speak and he knows that's a bad sign.

He tucks himself back into his boxers, standing up. You expect him to leave and Leon plans to. At first, he did. But you're looking at him with those big, sad eyes of yours. Leon thinks you look like a trembling baby bunny. Seems like his attempts to push you away don't work. You just rely on him more.

"Stay right there," he mumbles before disappearing for a few minutes. Leon comes back with a washcloth and a glass of water. There's also a bag of frozen peas wrapped in a towel tucked under his arm.

The bruises in the shape of his own hands are starting to form on your neck. Why can't he just leave hickies like a normal person?! This job has fucked him up so bad that all he does is destroy.

Leon sits across from you, a guilty look in his eyes. You can tell he's sorry, but he refuses to say it. He sets the glass of water near you, wiping the cum off your stomach with the wet washcloth. The action is the closest thing to aftercare he's ever done. Mostly because he doesn't get treated very nicely after sex either.

He reaches out for your neck again, causing you to flinch. Leon curses under his breath, wishing he could be better. For himself mostly, but now for you.

"Why do you stick around?" He asks in a strained voice. Leon almost sounds like the one that got choked with how he's struggling not to cry. He picks up the bag of peas and unwraps the towel to show you what's underneath.

"Ice pack," he explains, trying to get you to lie down so he can place it on your neck. You take a few seconds, but eventually you relax enough to lie down. Leon adjusts the ice on your throat, hoping it'll help with the bruising and the pain.

"I'm not a very good person to stick around," Leon says, speaking more than he has before. He's also being more vulnerable than usual.

"It's okay, I'm used to it," you explain, trying to comfort him. But your confession just makes everything ache more. You're worse than any concussion or cut he's ever gotten.

You make him deal with his emotions.

Leon gives you a look that you can't decipher. His expression holds so many things that he wants to say, that he wants to do. But he doesn't let them out. He just needs to drink himself to sleep and bottle up his feelings to make himself feel better.

"Night, kid," he pats your knee before rising with a soft grunt.

Leon disappears for a few seconds before returning with a few things in his arms. He throws them at you, landing on the couch in a heap.

Then he turns and leaves.

You reach out, touching the soft fabric he's given you. When you hold it up, you realize what it is.

Clothes and a blanket.

Maybe he isn't so bad after all.

[ewingstan]

Halloween and cringetober may be behind us, yet I remain, coughing this up onto your back porch. Alec Lisa and Aisha were the only ones who enjoyed the costume party. Individuals and costume explanations below the cut:

Aisha and Brian: Power and Aki Hayakawa Chainsaw Man

This one goes out to the nine-year old I work with who wore a Denji costume for the school Halloween parade. Shoutout to you guy I don't know how you're allowed to watch that its the blood and sexual fantasies show.

I feel like miss suiciding-baiting-people-on-4chan would like Power. Aki works for Brian as they carry the "supposedly normal responsible one of their batshit group who very clearly has something wrong with him" niche of their series.

I feel like CSM is something that Brian and Alec would put on in the background when they were hanging out together. It's not really either of their thing, but it good pizza night fodder. Brian freaks out when Aisha mentions watching it.

Brian agreed to be Aki after he learned he could just wear a suit instead of making a real costume. Brian obviously likes objectively ridiculous costumes but it has to be something strained through 5 layers of machismo and a 17-year-old's idea of professionalism. He'll dress like something that gets painted onto a van but if there's too much whimsy or fun he'll start to freak. So halloween costumes would be weird for him. Aki just wearing a suit and a sword seemed like a good solution for this right up until the point where he had to explain what it was. Its from, hm, y'know, uhhhh this anime that my sister likes I'm just here to match with her.

Whenever he pulls the "I'm just in costume for my sister" thing Aisha makes everyone forget she exists. No escaping the weeb allegations for you Brian.

Taylor and Lisa: Madoka Kaname and Homura Akemi, Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Don't know if I need to explain this one, Worm/Madoka comparisons are almost cliche at this point

The costumes were Lisa's idea. Obviously.

The costumes were also Lisa's purchases, and enough was spent on them to make a veteran cosplayer weep. Her refusal to die her hair black would also make them weep but for different reasons.

After taking a look at herself Taylor enveloped herself in a particularly dense bug swarm for the whole night.

She eventually retreated to some side-room she found Brian hiding in and chatted with him for the rest of the party. On the condition that he make a darkness cloud for her.

She started choking on a prawn half an hour in after remembering he could see through his darkness clouds.

Rachel and Alec: Jade Harley and Dirk Strider, Homestuck

They are not going as a matching pair. Rachel does not know that she and Alec are wearing costumes from the same comic. She does not know what Homestuck is. This is one of the many ways she's better than us.

Rachel thinks she should've just been able to wear her usual dog mask for this party. Its a costume. What do you mean it doesn't count.

And why is her usual mask not enough, but the dog ears Cassie was really excited to loan her are fine? Aren't ears less costume than a full mask?

Admittedly apart from the pseudo-mind-control Alec and Dirk don't have a lot in common. Alec probably thinks he's more like Dirk than he actually is.

Dirk is if the concept of being in your own head was a guy, nay several guys, while Alec literally has to outsource getting in touch with his emotions to other bodies. Honestly the closest worm character to Dirk would probably be Krouse, considering the whole "chessmaster-manipulator who puts everything on himself and overmanages all his relationships while self-identifying as the person who can handle being the bad guy" thing, which Alec doesn't have going on at all. However:

It let me put Alec in a silly little fancylad outfit.

(Also they're both SB&HJ fans, so honestly I think its the perfect choice).

[these-emo-thoughts]

Last Twilight Episode 11 thoughts

A lot of people are hating on Day right now but I get him. I do. And if you haven't watched episode 11 yet, maybe skip this post as it revolves around a major part of the plot. If you've watched the ep, you probably know what I'm talking about. More detail is under the cut.

Warning, this is a long one, lol. Apologies for any mistakes, I'm a bit sick and didn't read over it 🤣

If you've seen it already, I'm going to explain why I think Mhok and Day's break-up had to happen and why it is the best thing for them right now.

Mhok's fear of losing another person because he isn't there to help or pick up the phone is absolutely valid (and so real and relatable that I feel personally attacked). He doesn't stay with Day out of pity, which has been established multiple times throughout the series - but the trauma of what he went through with Rung and the fear of possibly repeating that again with Day has made his anxiety cloud his judgement and his heart. It's not a healthy way to live - constantly worrying about your partner, to the extent where you cannot live for yourself, is not sustainable for a relationship (I also find this quite ironic because up until this point Mhok has been on his own for a long time now). We saw the manifestation of this fear in episode 11 multiple times too, with Mhok leaving in the middle of the shift to check that the guest that was hit by a car wasn't Day, and then when he was freaking out when Day wasn't answering his phone. Imagine going through all of that, but this time, your partner is 15 hours away by plane.

Day choosing to break up with him is, in my opinion, more complex than just "he lied to me and pitied me". That's part of it (and will come back at the end of this post), yes, and he does have the right to be upset that Mhok lied to him. Again, it's not healthy for the both of them if they are going to continue a relationship. I also want to point out that Day is at a disadvantage here because while he is capable of living his life independently as a blind man, he can't actually see the emotions on people's faces when he talks to them and that's can be important for picking up what others are putting down. Day can't see the changes in Mhok's expression when his smile fades, he has to rely on the other to talk to him when something is up, so lying is a BIG no-no here (as it would be for any relationship). So far, they've done a great job at communicating, so this is presented as new issue - but, it's a big one. So yes, the lying is part of it, but it's not ALL of it.

"But what IS all of it!?" I hear you scream into the Tumblr void. Well, by now, OF COURSE Day knows that Mhok truly loves him and KNOWS that the other doesn't pity him - he's said so many times. So, Day must realise at this point - of which the timeline is probably at a year of them knowing each other, give or take - that Mhok is deliberately holding himself back from good opportunities because of that love. It must hurt like hell, knowing that you're the reason your partner is self-sabotaging, but there's nothing you can do to change their mind because everything is out of your control. It's so much easier for Day to say "Mhok pities me and lied to me and that's why I want to break up" instead of "I'm the reason Mhok won't go".

It's heartbreaking, but what's the solution here? Long distance? Sure, maybe - but that's not going to stop Mhok from worrying about Day and being distracted from his job. It's not going to stop Day from feeling like he's a burden to Mhok. Not only that, with timezones and such a huge distance, there are even more complications to worry about. Plus, let's say something DID happen to Day while Mhok was in Hawaii - it goes back to exactly the problem that Mhok had which is what can he do about it? Long distance is a solution, but how long will they last living like that?

"Okay emo, so why doesn't Day just go to Hawaii with Mhok? Then they can be together and Mhok can fulfil his promise to take him there and they don't have to break up and they'll live happily ever after." I see you!! But... that's a BIG decision. Mhok and Day's trip to Songkhla may have been a test to see how they weather the storm of living together as boyfriends, but it was only for a few days. And Day - for most of it - was alone in the room while Mhok was working. That's not a way for Day to live, and it still won't stop Mhok from being worried, probably even MORESO now because they're in a whole other country.

So... what's left?

Day's decision to break up with Mhok is heartbreaking, but is probably the only solution that makes sense to me. Mhok CANNOT live a life like this. He can't. It's already debilitating him and it'll get even worse if he's constantly prioritising Day over himself in every aspect of life. Of course a person should think about their partner, but not to the point where it becomes unhealthy self-sabotage. Day also cannot live happily like this. He's come to terms living with a disability and already is aware of how different his daily life is to that of a sighted person - but the little voice in the back of his mind, the one reminding him that he's the reason Mhok is not living his life to the fullest, is making the entire process more difficult for him (and the lying really doesn't help).

So... yeah. A necessary evil that unfortunately to many will be written off simply as the "episode 11 curse". An evil that has people already saying that Day is stupid and immature, when I really believe this is the most rational he's been. I know even the actors have said it's about the lying but this is P'Aof we're talking about here - he's a brilliant story-teller, and there's always more to his art than what we see on the surface. It's happened in other shows he's directed, which is why they rate so highly. Last Twilight is no exception, and the complexity of the love story between Mhok and Day is nothing short of a masterpiece. That's how I see it, anyway.

Would love to hear other thoughts and perspectives!

[selineram3421]

I have a request :) Can you make some headcanons for demon Alastor in human world who was accidentaly summoned by reader and he started developing feelings for them?

Reader haven't made a deal with Alastor yet and knows Alastor from show itself but they dont want to tell him about it. Thank you <3

Heck yeah.

Headcanons of Alastor Falling for Human S/O

Alastor X Reader

.

First of all, it was not intentional.

You were trying to do your first spell.

Who's gonna stop you? Not your cat, that's for sure.

And then just ☁poof☁ deer man appears

"THE FUCK!?", you shout and scramble back, tripping over your feet and falling.

Alastor is equally surprised, because he was in the middle of a good book and there was a strange shift in the air.

You lie on your back for a while, just trying to piece together HOW THE FUCK YOU DID A SUMMONING SPELL!

Deciding not to wait for you to process everything, Alastor speaks. "Excuse me, did you want something?"

Lol

Sitting up, you rub the back of your head with your eyes closed. "No? Sorry, I didn't mean to summon you-or any demon. It was not my intention tonight."

Then you open your eyes and get a good look at the demon you've accidentally summoned.

Holy shit that's Alastor!?

Now your brain is having a whole moment.

Never mind the summoning, how the fuck did I open up a portal and bring a fictional character into the 3rd dimension!?

"Um, who are you?", you ask, just wanting to make sure your brain wasn't making any of this up.

"Oh, how rude of me! My apologies, I am Alastor!"

It could be a demon with the same name?

"Radio Demon, Hell's finest radio host."

Nope, it's your animated crush. You freak out on the inside.

Honestly I'd be freaking out too.

"Um ok, nice to meet you.", you say awkwardly.

You stand up and notice he hasn't left the circle of crystals.

"Charmed, I'm sure."

"Sorry again, but can you go back home?", you ask, looking down at the crystals. "I want to try to do my spell again."

"Why of course!", he does a snap of his fingers but doesn't move. "That's odd."

"What's odd?"

"It seems that I can't leave."

And now you're stuck with a very tall demon. Good thing you live alone.

Your cat hides away from Alastor, the deer demon didn't even know you had a cat until you began searching for them.

"Where are you? Pspspspspspspsps.", you call, looking under your couch.

"What are you doing?", he asks.

"Calling for my cat."

"Hmm.. I'll have to try that with Husker."

You want to laugh so bad.

Alastor pokes at the crystal barrier, getting zapped as he does so. "Could you perhaps move one of these? I'd like to get out."

"Will you respect the house rules?", you ask.

He better.

He thinks it over for a moment or two. "Yes."

You tell him the house rules before letting him out.

Now you have a demon roommate. That is until you can figure out a way to get him back home.

The next day comes, and when you wake you find your cat sitting on your bed, staring through door.

"Glad you're back.", you mumble and pet them.

Stepping out of the room, you almost forgot about Alastor. Almost.

"Good morning!", he says with a wide smile. "I hope you had a proper rest."

"Am I still sleeping?", you ask, looking for something in the room that felt out of place.

"You're very much awake! Come sit, I've made you breakfast."

Your brain can't really grasp him in such a domestic moment, but you do as told and sit at your two person table.

~✨

You hide all the fanart and merchandise that has to do with Vivzie's work. You have to change a lot of your devices backgrounds.

Alastor and your cat do start to get along.

He asks about your radio. "What are all of these extra bits?"

"It's a record player, and a radio. It can also play CDs and cassettes.", you explain and demonstrate how to properly use it.

"Fascinating."

Sometimes when a good song is playing, he'll pull you into a dance.

He takes over the cooking most of the time.

Working on a spell? He'll help you out with it.

Unwanted house guests? Oh no, they've been spooked into leaving.

Coffee is made every morning. Tea as well if you prefer that.

One day you decide to help with the cooking.

"It's no trouble at all.", he says. "Just wait for the food."

"I'm gonna be stuck with not knowing how to make food when you leave, let me at least learn by helping."

He can't really argue with that, so he lets you help.

Let's get cookin'

Both of you end up cooking together more often and trade recipes.

Then you go grocery shopping after making sure he won't kill anyone unless its absolutely necessary.

"What if you encounter a thief?"

"Depends on what they take. I don't really care about money."

"What if someone assaults you?"

"I can take care of myself, they just have to throw the first hit."

"What about a rapist trying to lay a hand on you?"

"That one you can kill without a second thought."

You finally get to see his human disguise. Yes, he looks handsome as hell. A lot of heads turn in the grocery store when you both pass by.

There was almost a grab-by with an old woman. Thankfully you were able to move him away before she could pinch his bottom.

"Ew.", you said scrunching your nose. "Let's get the last thing and leave."

Falling in love?

I'd like to think that he'd fall for the little things.

Like when you sing, thinking you're alone. Or when you get a random spark of inspiration.

When you laugh at a corrupt person's death. And I mean laugh like it was the funniest joke you've heard. Crab rave

Your weirdness.

And the way you talk to your cat.

"I know you like fire but we can't do arson."

"Mroow.."

"I know its dumb but we live here. You can cause a fire at someone else's house."

I feel like he would wonder what you mean by that and test it out by teleporting your cat to someone's house.

"That's crazy."

"Hm?"

"On the news, someone's house caught on fire."

Cat is brought back and waltzes around the house like nothing ever happened.

"How did you get soot on your paws?", you ask after noticing the little trail your cat left behind.

You look around to see if the cat did cause a fire.

This is if you do buy merch occasionally/regularly/ or when you get the chance.

You forgot that you bought a few new pins and almost opened the package out in the open. "Oh f-", you grab the package and run to your room.

~

Did anyone see the Hazbin Hotel news?

~Seline, the person.

ML for Alastor🎙

Wanna see more of Arson Cat? Look no further!

➡ 🔥click here🔥

[cybertroniannugget]

Pangea and mt Vesuvius

Not what I originally intended to post here, as I'm writing some spice at the moment but THIS is what my mind was occupied with all freaking day... The whole desaster takes place somewhere in the first movie or between 1 and two. Some details are changed up Which I did on purpose. I know all the movies from start to finish because the hyperfixations are hyperfixating real hard right now.

This is just a random story of how I get idk let's say teleported into the bayverse movies and how I'd probably handle that.

While I sprinkled in a bit more confidence than I actually got, I think it's an accurate representation of what kind of person I am: always cracking jokes, overthinking EVERYTHING, random useless knowledge that turns out to be somewhat useful.

About this fic: sfw, implied romance with OP, trans ftm character, no reader just Alex, confused Autobots they still need to learn so much about earth and everything, I also don't know okay?

This is just me struggling while simping hard for Optimus.

But we still ain't know what fucked up big M's navigation system when he crashed. Infact, why are all of our navigation systems useless here?! ", Jazz adressed, arms crossed over his chassis. "We all be getting lost all the time.

"I think I know why"

Oh please, why did I speak up just now...

All optics and eyes were fixed on me as I said that, making me immediately regret opening my mouth in the first place but here we are now.

"What? Maybe your systems think you're on Pangea.", I said, taking in the same position as Jazz by crossing my arms over my chest.

Optimus leaned closer, one servo on the railing, blue optics studying me thoroughly as to look for any signs of lie in my attitude.

"Pangea? May you elaborate?"

Hearing this deep voice so full of interest made me feel things honestly.

"The supercontinent. Wait, Imma show you."

I take out my phone, careful not to reveal the background, because I couldn't find the time to change it yet.

"Here, this is earth today. You see everything, Europe, Asia, South and North America, Autralia, Greenland and all the islands in the oceans."

"And this is Pangea, it broke apart into the continents as we know them today about 200 million years ago. This is probably what Megatron had in mind. See? When you look at a map of earth today you might think, if you turn south America around and snug it up to north America, they fit like a puzzle. It's because they were together as part of the supercontinent. Or push it up to Africa, same thing. Just squish it all together"

"That human is incredibly well educated.", Ratchet chimed in.

"That human has a name and thank you."

"But why did that happen? It makes no sense.", Ironhide complained, lifting one servo as to show his frustration in what I just said.

"If I may...", I look at Lennox, awaiting some kind of approval to continue. He nods and so I proceed with my explanation.

"Well, I don't know how to explain it scientifically, but I'll try to make it understandable."

Optimus nods, listening carefully. How do these highly educated space robots not know about that? But who am I to judge, they aren't from here so I can't expect them to know everything about earth.

"I think it probably started because of something called mantle convection. That means the heat from earth's interior rises up to the hardened crust. That caused it to break open, creating a volcanic rift zone. The cracks went further, the tectonic plates drifted apart. The rifts filled with water over time and while the plates drifted farther away, the oceans were formed. Or something like that I don't know but today we've got 6 continents."

Always undermining everything I say, great job on trying to act confident...

"And Greenland, I don't discriminate.", I added as some people eyed me.

"But I don't know if Pangea is what your systems used as the base to calculate. There were other tectonic combinations even before that, but it's a wild guess I'd say. I am certain it was one of them."

As I was explaining, Optimus' gaze changed to a warmer tone and I could feel my pulse rise to my ears. He was just so beautiful, and seeing him for the first time in person made my heart flutter uncontrollably. I wish I could tell him how I feel,

But this is real. No scenarios, no daydreaming or fanfiction. It was as real as it could get. Damn it, I wanted to shift here, not get teleported or whatever caused me to end up here with all of them. I hope we can atleast become friends. No need to get my hopes up though.

"Alexander?"

The baritone voice of the Prime pulled me out of my thoughts about him.

"Hm?"

"What kind of heat were you talking about?"

"Oh that. Well, starting at earth's core, it's liquid magma. It's really hot, like 5.200 Celsius hot. 9.000 something Fahrenheit for the Americans here..."

This was met with laughter and I continued with my lesson or whatever you might wanna call it I don't care, I'm struggling here okay?

"The further you go up, the 'cooler' it gets.", I say, underlining the word cooler with my hands in a joking matter.

"They probably got fancy scientific names but don't ask me which. Anyways shit's really hot. And it's what shoots up from volcanoes.", I finish as I look into a round of confused optics and a few tilted helms.

"Volcanoes? When tectonic plates crush against each other, or built up pressure is released, no?"

They all look at eachother, chuckling coming from my fellow humans around me.

"Okay here, that's mt vesuvius, big ass volcano."

"Sometimes these mfs shoot lava from this hole up there, pretty fascinating and scary at the same time.. It looks like this.", I add as they look at the pictures, not knowing whether to be amazed or afraid.

"The glowing stuff you see here is the lava. When it's still underneath the crust it's called magma."

"Are there many on earth?"

"Yup, don't get too close."

Optimus' optics widen at that statement of mine

"Don't worry bossbot, not on this island. The closest from here is next to Madagascar, Africa. Unless you decide to swim a few rounds up there there's no need to get worried."

The Prime relaxes, shoulders dropping while optics still focused on me.

Why is he looking at me like that? I mean I ain't complaining but if he continues like that Imma internally combust.

"You explain everything so well Alexander."

"Please, call me Alex. Alexander seems so long."

The Prime nods understandingly. "Very well then, Alex."

Oh god make it stop. I love you so much Optimus please...!

"His heart rate just shot up exponentially.", Ratchet mentioned and it was right then and there that I wanted to vanish, dissappear, sink into the ground, never to be seen again.

"Haha yeah, chronic Tachycardia, no need to worry."

That was a lie. Yes, my pulse is through the roof right now, but I've got no heart disease.

As I was met with confusion from every bot except Ratchet I explained before any questions could be asked.

"It's a general term to describe an elevated heartrate. You know, the thing in a human's chest that pumps blood through our body."

"Blood?"

"Oh come on. Okay, well then I can explain that to you guys later. And answer any questions you have as it seems no one else here cares about your education on earth and it's inhabitants.", I say grumpily, looking at Lennox, who raised his hands in defeat.

"I can see us becoming friends Alex.", Jazz laughed.

"Looking forward to it!", I said, pointing fingerguns at the silver bot, which is met with more laughter.

"Okay, class is over, what are we gonna do now?", Ironhide asks into the round of bots and humans.

I just shrug, looking at Optimus, who was still looking at me. But when I looked at him, he quickly looked away to Ironhide.

Cutie~

"Alex seems to know so much, why not ask her?."

That statement of a bystanding soldier was met with a glare from Optimus.

"Alex is a he, you better make sure to remember that!"

They went to protest, but Optimus wouldn't let them. "Unless you wish to get what humans call fired."

Oh shit he's really mad...

"I will make sure of that if you continue your unreasonable behavior."

As he said that I could swear I saw the soldier shrink right then and there infront of my own two eyes.

He looks at everyone. "This counts for everyone here. You will respect Alex."

Oh god, he's standing up for me I can't please marry me Optimus, like right now!

"Okay, lessons aside.", Epps put a hand on my shoulder, smiling. "You were great by the way. I think we can use that for good."

He looked between everyone, a stern expression replacing the warm smile, hand leaving my shoulder. "As much as of a crucial hint this is, we can't know for sure what's exactly causing the malfunction. Better dig people."

True honestly, but HOW is anyone supposed to figure it out without cutting someone open? Megs maybe...?!

"Something's on your mind again, I can see that.", Bumblebee said with snippets over the radio.

"What, me?! It's nothing."

"Nothing?!", Jazz protested. "You just gave us the best clue we could ask for. I'm no Optimus Prime but I can say that I wanna hear ya out my man."

He looks up at Optimus, who was looking at me again after listening to his lieutenant.

"I must say, that you have given us great insight on your mental capabilities Alex."

He leans closer and it took everything of the mental capabilities he just mentioned to not kiss him right here right now.

"Well uh, it's just some kind of impulsive thought. You know, the ones you can't really control...",I said nervously, one hand behind my neck, avoiding everyone's gaze.

But he didn't budge, only blinking once while awaiting an answer.

"Okay, you're not budging I see. Fine."

Taking a deep breath and regretting every life choice I had made up until that point, I went on. "Look, I don't know anything about Cybertronian culture and how things are handled. Especially this right here. Us humans, we always wanna know what exactly caused certain events. For example death here. So we came up with analyzing the body of the dead by cutting them open and stuff, it's called autopsy. Maybe, just maybe we could find something. I know Megatron ain't dead but he's in some sort of... Stasis? Someone could check his navigation system and maybe find the cause for the disruption."

I lower my shoulders, trying to be as small as I possibly could infront of Optimus, who's gaze I couldn't quite interpret.

"On Cybertron, there is quite a similar practise."

"So you're saying it's worth a shot, Prime?", Ironhide asks, unsure of what to think of the situation. "But he's not dead, as Alexander pointed out correctly.", Ratchet added.

Optimus turned around to face his Autobots.

"This may be our only chance. We must take it. For the sake of both worlds. This war has been going on for so long, we cannot let this hold us down. And now it seems there is a way to find out why this is happening. We will fix it, together."

Now it was on Lennox to speak up again.

"So we gon' dissect Megatron? I'm all in honestly. That fucker did enough damage."

My eyes widen at that. "They're not gonna kill him!" Unsure of the righteousness of what I just said I looked at Optimus, who nodded.

"See? They're just gonna take out the navigation system and leave."

"Ooh, big M is gonna be SO mad when he finds out."

"He won't.", Optimus retorted with an absolute certainty in his voice.

"Alright then, it's settled. Prepare people and gather as much information as possible for this mission and await any orders from Big O!"

And with that final order of Lennox the soldiers scattered around, leaving immediately.

Okay great, I'm gonna go be useless again wohoo.

"Alex?"

I look toward the sound of the voice I already grew to cherish. "I know, I know. I ain't accompanying you. I'd die if I did, already know that."

The Prime nods.

"I am glad you understand."

I love you so much I wish I could tell you...

As he remained standing there I grew nervous, fidgeting with the strings of my hoodie.

"Is there something you need?"

"Wha- me? No! Just... go be a hero.

You know you're good at it."

I clear my throat, pretty sure Optimus could hear my pulse. "But remember to take a break sometimes. I always see you up and about."

Did I overstep? I knew it. Chance blown. Goodbye earth. No romance.

"I highly appreciate your concern Alex."

He's always saying my name help. Is he just being polite or what does this mean?!

"There is this human saying. What was it again? I grab it with my heart...?"

Please he's so cute I can't~

"I'll take it to heart was it probably. It means to honor someone's wishes as you see them important."

He tilts his helm in question. "The person or the wish?"

That is when I think all the 5 liters of blood inside my body went up to my face.

Keep calm, stay cool Alex. Don't embarrass yourself.

"It's up to the person saying that."

Whatever higher power there is, please help me!

"You deem my wellbeing as important and so do I"

Phew, that was close...

"Can it be both?"

WHAT

"Eh, sure. There's always room for interpretation."

I guess...?

What has my life come to? They probably think I'm a know it all person. I gotta keep my damn mouth shut from now on.

"Very well then Alex, I look forward to working with you."

I only nod, trying not to get lost in those beautiful blue optics.

"I'm sure it's gonna be great Optimus!"

Unless I unsubscribe from life because a Deception squishes me...

[buckys-little-belle]

Hellfire Babysitting Club : The Sequel (Part Two)

Cafeteria Conversions

Gareth Emerson x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns used) / The Hellfire club x Little!Reader (They/Them Pronouns used)

Warnings - Mentions of eating, Mentions of bullying, Gareth being soft, the entire Hellfire Club being adorable in regards to their newest member

Notes Prequal - Please let me know what you want to see in this series! This one has a much more Introverted!Reader than the first instalment, so keep that in mind!

Notes - I know this took a longggg time to come out, I'm dealing with a lot right now, but really wanted to write some more and interact a little again, thank you to those of you who haven't left, and haven't stopped supporting me. I see your messages and asks, and I appreciate them, thank you <3 (THIS IS NOT MY BEST WORK, AND I AM AWARE OF THAT FACT.)

Notes Epilogue - Just to clear some things up for a few people, my idea is that last school year, Little Terror, Eddie, Gareth, Jeff, and Jason Carver were all in their senior year. This year Gare is taking his senior year again, and 'The Party' are now in the eleventh grade! Little Bunny is also in their senior year, this allows me space to make a third part with characters from 'The Party' be the leader of Hellfireclub and co, and another little set in the next year, if I chose to do so. (I am aware this isn't canon, but I'm making it my stories cannon!)

SFW - Please keep all interactions with this post, and this blog, SFW

+ + + + + +

Gareth walked Bunny to their first class, taking note of which room they'd be in just before lunch, promising to pick them up, but ever since then he'd been freaking out. He was excited, sure, but worry creeped in not long after, the reality of him being the lead of the group, not just leading them in D&D but now in babysitting was scary.

'I'm just a phone call away.' Eddie's words filled his mind, though they made him more mad than reassured, he could do this, he didn't want to seem weak to Eddie, to everyone else, especially not to Little Bunny.

When the bell for lunch rang the english class grew busy, Dustin running to Gare's desk. "Same lunch table?" He asked, his books spilling out of his bag, hair disheveled.

"No." Gareth nodded his head, trying to seem confident in his decision. "Gather the others and meet me in Game room." Gareth stood up quickly, getting ready to run to Bunny's classroom, leaving a confused, yet intrigued, Dustin behind.

+ + + + + +

"Y/n!" Gareth whisper yelled, Bunny turning their head to look at him, their nose scrunching in excitement. "Are you ready for lunch?" He panted, brushing a hand through his hair, trying to stay cool as sweat threatened to drip.

"Mhm." They smiled, following as Gareth led them to the Game room, swinging their arms back and forth.

"Good." Gareth cleared his throat before continuing. "Um, my friends and I meet for lunch, is that okay?" He asked anxiously, hoping his plan would work out.

"Are dey nice?" Y/n looked to him, a worried expression replacing their previously content one.

"Oh yeah, plus I'm sure they'll treat you like royalty." He added.

"Why?"

"Right." He chuckled, struggling to come up with the words to explain their situation. "We play Dungeons and Dragons, but we also babysat a little last year." Y/n nodded their head. "I don't have to tell the group that you're a little, but they're pretty good at knowing." He admitted, hoping that what he was saying was okay.

Y/n stopped walking, eyes trained on the ground, fingers playing with the hem of their shirt. "Are dey gonna make fun of me?"

Gareth's heart broke a little, he hoped that one day he could meet a little who hadn't been made fun of, but clearly a group of accepting and willing people was still unheard of. "No, no Bunny, they won't." He smiled, placing his hand on their shoulder, his thumb rubbing soothing circles. "They'll play games with you, they'll talk about toys with you, watch fun movies with you, hold your hand if you're scared, and babysit you when I can't take care of you, they're all very nice, and won't me mean at all." He reassured them, Y/n's eyes meeting his, not a sense of doubt found in his expression.

"You're gonna take care of me?" They asked, trying their best to hide back an excited smile.

"Of course, I found you, so I get dibs." He laughed, Y/n giggling back at his joke. "Anything you need, you can come to me, anything, okay?" The two of them nodded their heads. "And if you can't find me, you can find one of the group members, and they'll help you anyway they can."

"I don' wanna bother anyone though." Y/n admitted nervously.

"Bunny, you're not a bother! I was super stressed this morning, I don't like school very much." Gareth laughed. "But when I ran into you my day got better, you aren't a bother, if anything we will bother you."

"Okay." Y/n smiled. "Okay, 'm excited."

"Me too."

+ + + + + +

"Thank god!" Dustin called out as Gareth entered the room, Y/n behind him, not ready to truly meet the group. "Can you tell me why we're in here? I'm hungry!" Dustin's voice was loud, making Y/n instinctively reach for Gareth's hand, their head peaking past him to see who was yelling so loudly.

"Calm down." Mike whispered, more aware than Dustin that clearly something was happening.

"Who here actually likes eating in the cafeteria?" Gareth asked, the group looking to one another in confusion. "Lucas you hate the basketball guys, Mike you gave me a thirty minute talk in math today about how El struggles with loud noises, Dustin you talk about how your legs fall asleep on the benches, and I hate a whole room of people just looking at us, laughing at us." The room was silent, a few people nodding their heads. "So we're going to be eating in here, everyone pick a seat, and calm down." He smiled, walking into the room further, Y/n blindly following behind him.

"Who is that?" El loudly asked, the newbie not in Mike's Hellfire rundown.

Gareth ignored the groups whispers for a few seconds, setting his bad on the DM chair, his DM chair, and pulling a smaller seat next to his for Y/n. "This is Y/n." He said, still shielding them from the group slightly, not sure if they wished to be introduced fully to the chaos just yet. "They're new to the school, and needed a buddy this morning."

Mike and Lucas seemed to know what Gareth meant right away, that Y/n was a little, and that's why they were here, but Will and El looked very confused, and Dustin didn't seem to be on the same page as anyone. "So another player?" He asked, Mike and Lucas rolling their eyes as Gareth let his face fall into his hand.

"No, Y/n is a little, I'm not only changing where we eat lunch, but I'm starting back up Hellfire Babysitting Club." Gareth proudly said. "And this time we're going to have rules, and a schedule, I don't need Y/n eating soap, or getting into trouble like Little Terror."

Y/n giggled and the group smiled, El and Will still confused, waiting for a better explanation. "I don't get it." Will admitted.

"You guys." Gareth gestured to everyone but Y/n. "Explain what this all is, and what went down last year, and tomorrow we'll reconvene and talk about how things will work here on out." Gareth hoped that the group would respond well to some structure, Eddie liking to just hope things work out fine while winging it. Gareth hoped that making some rules, and implementing new things would let the group stay strong, and would alleviate the stress from his shoulders.

"Can we say hi to the baby?" El asked, taking her seat at the table, trying to peek past Gareth at them.

Everyone went silent, looking at El confused, Mike sighing before weighing in. "I talked to her about Eddie and Little Terror already." He explained.

"Baby please." She said a little more harshly, Mike sending Gareth a look full of warning, knowing El would move him if he didn't move.

Gareth stepped aside, Y/n's sitting frame, cheese string in one hand, the stuffed bunny in another, coming into view, a sweet smile on display for everyone. "Hi."

"I called them Little Bunny this morning." Gareth admitted, smiling as he watched Y/n look around the room, everyone smiling back at them.

"Little cheese fingers." El said seriously, opening her own lunch box and moving on, the group bursting out laughing at her words, though no one argued the name, just sat down too, pulling out their own lunch boxes and silently welcoming the new member.

[izzyspussy]

fic where Jamie does something that will piss his dad off (not hard to do) and it ends up in the public eye somehow. maybe it started that way and Jamie just wasn't thinking it through at the time - or he was and decided to do it anyway, or maybe somebody was supposed to keep their mouth shut and didn't, or maybe it's another data breach, but whatever it is it gets out and it gets in the news cycle.

and maybe Jamie thought he was handling it okay but then suddenly wasn't, or maybe he found out his laundry was being aired at training like the lads all found out about it happening to Keeley. regardless, he ends up rushing into the managers' office - the closest room with a semblance of privacy, despite being occupied - to have a brief but spectacular panic attack about it.

because it just happens to be something his dad is not going to let slide, something he won't be satisfied yelling at Jamie over the phone about. he's gonna come around to show Jamie by hand exactly how he feels about it.

when the coaches question him, Jamie gives the barest bones explanation he can manage. this is what came out, if you haven't heard, and I'm freaking out because my dad is gonna want to teach me a lesson about it.

"So what you're saying is you need a place to stay," Roy says. Not a question. An offer, actually, if you speak Kentese. But Jamie shakes his head resignedly.

"No," he sighs bitterly. "Probably'll need a day or two off training, though."

There's a long, horrible pause - a pause where Beard gets exactly what Jamie means and Ted and Roy want so bad not to that they don't.

"Let me see if I have this right," Beard says, more to force the issue on the other two than because he himself needs any clarification - or because he has the faintest pipe dream that spelling it out will make Jamie change his mind. "You're planning to take it?"

Bitter, still bitter, Jamie says, "He don't fucking give up more than I do. Let him get it out of his system, then it's over."

There's another pause - Beard doesn't know what to say to that - before Roy asks, "What if he lost?"

"Lost...?" Jamie repeats.

"To you," Roy explains. "You're saying if he shows up your house and you're not there he'll just keep coming round, yeah? What if he shows up and you beat his arse into the fucking ground like he deserves. Would he still come back then?"

"Self-defense," Beard assures no one in particular.

But Jamie shakes his head again, this time quick and jerky. "I can't-" he says. He throws a nervous, furtive look at Ted.

"He can fucking be wrong sometimes, Jamie," Roy snaps - gently, for Roy - catching on quick.

Jamie doesn't answer, but Ted himself nods. He says, calm as a cucumber, "I can't agree with the rest, but that part sure is true."

"You can," Beard tells Jamie. Also gently - for Beard. Jamie's mouth twists miserably.

"Yeah," he finally agrees. "But I fucking won't, will I?"

"You only think that because you haven't yet," Beard insists.

"That actually ain't true," Ted points out, carefully cheerful. "I didn't see much else after," he shifts uncomfortably, a bit guilty, "but you put that man on his back in Wembley."

"...Are you encouraging this?" Jamie asks him, too confused to be aghast. Ted leans forward on his desk to regard Jamie with a serious, slightly self-deprecating smile.

"Well, it's like Roy said, I can be wrong sometimes," he says. "And these two fellas seem to think this is one of those times. Now, they both wouldn't be here if I didn't trust their judgement." He sits back then, softly tosses up his hands, smiles a little wider. "So I'll keep my wrong opinion to myself."

Jamie huffs a small, genuine but still slightly unsure laugh at that. He hesitates for a moment longer, but then he squares up his shoulders and lifts his chin and turns to Roy.

"No," he says. "No, he wouldn't come back if I did that."

[joelslegalwhre]

I told them to

pairing ⁀➷ daniel ricciardo x reader

word count ⁀➷ 916 more or less

summary ⁀➷ You're Daniel's new performance coach, it's your first race with him, and you're allowed to talk to him on the radio before and after the race. Who allowed that though, is something you don't know yet...

warnings ⁀➷ fluff, idek if this needs any warnings

a/n ⁀➷ My “read more” isn’t working at the moment so I can’t add that. Sorry to everyone who’s bothered by that!

As always, if I missed a warning please tell me! I've written this years ago, and I still like it, but it may differ from my more previous works.

Also, what's better than a Daniel os to start posting f1 content on here?

You've met Daniel and the team last week to get to know them, and there was really no reason to be scared. The team has welcomed you with open arms and, even after one meeting, you could feel that they would have your back if something happens.

Nevertheless, your heart was beating faster than usual.

"Y/N!" you heard a familiar voice call your name, belonging to Daniel. He jogged to you and gave you a big smile. "Hey, good morning." you greeted him with a smile in return. You walked to the Renault hospitality and on the way, you and Daniel talked about the upcoming race but he could sense that you were nervous.

"C'mon, l'lI show you around." he said and put his hand on your back to guide you to the garage. "So, I'm sure you know how everything works but you know, new team, new things. So please shut your phone, hand me your ticket and enjoy the tour, ladies and ladies." A chuckle escaped you and Daniel had a broad smile on his face when he looked at you. You knew he tried to calm you down and you felt a tingling feeling in your belly, that hasn't been leaving you since he ran up to you earlier. You liked him from the beginning when he came in with this big smile of his. Yes, you knew him from watching the races and some interviews on TV but meeting him in real life has been something completely different.

You enjoyed his little tour and it actually calmed you down a lot. He showed you everything, from the car to all the computers and buttons. You knew them already but having him explaining everything and fooling around with you was fun and it took your mind off. The crew was giving you amused glances as they knew how Daniel was and you just shrugged your shoulders laughing.

"Thank you, Daniel." you smiled at him when he finished his tour. "Oh no problemo, but call me Dan, alright?" he said. Your smile got even bigger and you nodded.

"Alright. That was a really great tour by the best tour guide I've ever seen, to be honest." You joked and Daniel bowed.

"Sadly we must go now. We have some work to do, haven't we?" You said with a little smile, being much more relaxed as you were this morning. Thanks to Daniel. He smiled and gave you an approving nod.

"You've got this, Dan." you said to him via radio. The race was about to begin and Daniel was starting P5 after a good Qualifying. You were allowed to talk to him before and after the race on the radio. You didn't know why, as you were his performance coach and not his engineer but you liked it. And after the race, you would definitely ask Daniel about it.

"Thanks, Y/N/N." he said. You could feel your cheeks getting warm. Hopefully, no one noticed it, you thought and cupped your face with your hands to make sure no one could see your slightly red cheeks. He only used a nickname for you, nothing to freak out about, you thought.

Daniel had a great start, lost some positions throughout the race but he was able to get them back and finished the race as 4th. One position better than he started. You were proud of how much Daniel got out of his car. "Thank you guys." he said after crossing the finish line. "Great job Daniel, you did really good." his race engineer told him. "You did it! 4th is wonderful!

Congratulations!" you said excitedly. You could hear him chuckle, "Thanks Y/N/N! I had excellent support before the race from my performance coach." he said and you could almost hear his smile through the radio.

You were waiting for Daniel with a towel and a water bottle. As he came to you, you couldn't hold yourself back. You walked towards Daniel and wrapped your arms around him. "You did amazing." you said into his neck. When you realized what you've just done, you quickly stepped back, cleared your throat and gave him his towel and bottle. Daniel didn't seem to mind as he just smiled at you. "Thanks." he said and put his arm around your shoulders. "You were my lucky charm, you know." he grinned. You felt your cheeks getting hot.

Damn it, you thought.

"Hey Dan, how is it that I'm allowed to talk to you on the radio?" you asked him, better now than never. He looked down at you and a smile was forming on his face once again. "I told them to." he said with a grin and guided you back to the garage, his arm still around your shoulders.

This day has been crazy, you thought. And there were many more to come. Many more with crazy races but most importantly, many more with Daniel by your side.

༄ Don't copy, translate or republish any of my works on any app or other platform please. I only post my work on Tumblr and Wattpad.

Reblogs are always appreciated, they really make my day🧡

[giggly-squiggily]

Hi! How are you doing? THANK YOU for opening your requests, your writing is so fricking good! I have two fic requests in mind (you can choose one if you're doing one request per person :3).

platonic Lee! Sigma Ler! Dazai (BSD.). Plot: Sigma is 'air ticklish' and cannot deal with any form of anticipation without becoming a giggly mess and Dazai is a teasing jerk who takes advantage of this. That's it, that's the request XD.

platonic OR romantic Lee! Dazai Ler! Kunikida (BSD.) Plot: Dazai is ticklish but Kunikida is not. So, Kunikida finally has something to hold over Dazai's head and thus can get him back for annoying him. Little did he know, Dazai's ticklish laugh is different (read: CUTER) than his regular laugh and Kunikida accidently makes a comment about it out loud. That comment is now something Dazai can hold over Kunikida's head!

I'm not too sure how far you are in BSD, so feel free to ignore my requests if you don't feel comfortable writing it. Have a nice day and stay safe!

EKJEKJRJKE WAA! Thank you so much, anon! I appreciate the kind words! So- unfortunately I don't know Sigma yet, so I can't do that one; but I can do the Dazai and Kunikida fic! :D It's such a cute plot and I freaking love it akjejrkaejkrjaejrk I hope you like it!

Cloud 9 (Taglist peeps):

@thatbigbisexual29 @dirtpie39 @duckymcdoorknob @cupcake-spice13 @t-wordiiish @rachi-roo

“Oi.” A finger tasered his side, making Dazai shoot up in his seat with a yelp. “Stay focused.”

“I am! I am focused- I just…” Dazai huffed some upon meeting Kunikida’s eyes, turning back to his desk with a small pout. “I’m so boooored~ It’s all paperwork! And you won’t let me have my headphones-”

“Cause you spend the entire day dancing around the office and singing.”

“Hey- I raise the office morale with my incredible performances.”

“If by morale you mean headache risk, then sure.”

“GAH! My heart!” Dazai clutched his chest dramatically before falling against his desk, face down and slightly twitching.

“Paperwork. Now.” Kunikida went behind him, giving his ribs a quick tickle before heading out, leaving Dazai shooting up with a startled laugh.

“Mm…I’ll get you back, Doppo. That’s a promise.”

~~~

Dazai wasn’t kidding around either. He was determined to get Kunikida back.

Since the discovery of his…weakness, Kunikida had been adamant on using it against Dazai everyday. Not doing his paperwork? A poke to the ribs. Explaining his elaborate plan for his newest suicide attempt? Cut off with fingers against his neck. Singing and having a grand ol’ time? A squeeze to the thigh that nearly took him to the pearly gates.

Granted, he really shouldn’t have been dancing on the desk…

The point is- Kunikida was being a tyrant, and Dazai was gonna find a way to break him down!

“Hehehehe, this should work just fine…” The bandaged man grinned as he laid out his trap- like a carrot to the rabbit, he’d lure Kunikida in and attack! “Try to resist this, Kuni. Hehehe~”

~~~ “Where is that moron? First he bails on paperwork, then he has the audacity to dance on my desk-” Kunikida’s mutterings came to a halt when his eyes landed on a particular book lying across the coffee table. “Is that…no way!”

But it was! Upon the table was a brand new notebook! Pristine and shiny- untouched by other’s ideals and just waiting for Kunikida to sink his pen into! It was even by his favorite notebook creator- this had to be for him, yes? Oh how he wanted to touch it…

Just as quickly as it came, his excitement was snuffed out- replaced by suspicion. Was it really for him? Sure- he may be the only one to use notebooks for his ability, but that didn’t mean no one else had purpose for them. He shouldn’t be so bold.

….Surely just admiring it wouldn’t hurt, right?

Giving in to his weakness, he came over to the table, studying the craft with careful eyes. Oh, it was so beautiful! Wrapped in plastic to keep from dirtying and oh so lovely! With that- surely he could touch it? He reached out and…

“HA!” Dazai all but yelled from behind, latching onto Kunikida’s waist and digging in. “Gotcha! Gotcha gotcha gotcha! You can’t escape…me.” The brunette blinked. Why wasn’t Kunikida laughing? He pressed into ribs, wiggled his hands against his belly and sides, even pinched his hip! How…

Looking up slowly, he met Kunikida’s raised eyebrow with a sheepish grin. “H-Hello there. How are you today, Kuni?”

“Fine. Yourself?” Kunikida turned in his arms, gently taking Dazai by the shoulders as he forced him back into the couch. Dazai stiffened some, eyes wide as he leaned away. “You look nervous.”

“Oh no- no, not at ahahhall-” Dazai scrunched some with a giggle as the thumb closest to his collarbone massaged circles into his skin, already ticklish. “Dohohoho you like yoohohohur presehehehnt?”

“Oh, so it is for me? I’d say I appreciate the gift if it weren’t so obviously a trap.” The thumb on his otherside began to swirl, making Dazai scrunch up further, his giggle fits increasing. “Did you really think that would work? I believe I’ve told you before I’m not ticklish.”

“Thahahhahat’s buhuhuhuhuhuhuhull! I sthihihihihihll behehehhet you ahahahhahre- ahhhehehahah wahhahhait whahahahhait!” Dazai leaned back further when fingers began tracing his neck, his shoulders all the way up to his ears as he kicked. “Dohohohohon’t not my neehhehehheck!”

“Is it too ticklish for you, Dazai?” Kunikida smirked as he dropped his hands, giving the other a chance to breathe. “Very well then. I’ll skip your neck.”

“Whahahit reahahahally? Cause I don’t mih-Hhehehehehhehehehehehhehehehend!” Dazai shot up with a proper squeal when his ribs were assaulted from the front, ten fingers finding all the soft spots of his torso as they scratched and scribbled against them. “Aheahhahahhahaha, Kuhuuhuhuhnikihhihihihiihda! Gheahahahhaha, it tiihiihihihihckles!”

“That’s kind of the point.” The poet almost laughed himself, shaking his head as Dazai squirmed and giggled beneath him. Wait- what did he say earlier?

With a curious hand, he swept it up and tickled Dazai’s neck some more.

“AHEHAHAHAHAHHA!” A snort squeal shot out of his lips as Dazai attempted to curl up, falling sideways on the couch as he swatted at Kunikida’s hands. The laugh he let out was startling cute- soft and deep; rich with genuine glee as the brunette turtled up. “KUUHUUHHUNIKIHIIHIIHIDA!”

Oh right- he was still tickling. “Yes?”

“PLEHAHAHAHHHASE!”

“And thank you?”

“YOU KNHOOHOHOW WHAHHAHAHT I MEHAHHAHHAN!”

“Do I really?” He snuck a hand beneath his armpit, making the brunette wheeze into near silent laughter. “Come on- speak up. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“eheheheheHAHAHAHHAHA!” The sound came back when Kunikida removed his hand, returning it to Dazai’s waist and kneading gently. “STahhahahaap tiihiihihickling mehehehhehe!”

“Heh. Very well. I suppose you’ve learned your lesson.” Kunikida gave him one last scritch against his neck before pulling his hands back, watching Dazai slump. He looked so defeated- it was rather…

“Adorable.” Kunikida found himself saying outloud.

“Huh?” Dazai blinked, face red as he stared up at Kunikida. The poet felt his own flush a rivaling color, stiffening up at what just came out of his mouth. “Wait- Kuni-”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You just called me-”

“No! That was the wind.”

“You think I’m adorable! Is that why you always tickle me?” Dazai didn’t look alarmed anymore. If anything, he was grinning from ear to ear, eyes sparkling. “I knew you loved my antics! I knew it! No wonder you’ve been playing with me more recently!”

“H-Hush your mouth! I most certainly do not!” Kunikida twisted away, willing his face to cool. He was this close to getting away too! “Your antics are ridiculous and your behavior is that of a child! I find you annoying!”

“Say it to my face then, Kuni~”

The poet turned to do just that, but found the words stuck in his throat at the cheshire grin Dazai was wearing. “Oh, you son of a- GAH!” He turned to leave, marching out of the sitting area of the office.

A few seconds later, he came back, collecting the notebook.

“I’m keeping this. It’s my payment for the stress you give me.” He grunted before leaving again, Dazai’s childlike laughter following him out.

Dang…even his laugh is adorable.

Bastard.

Thanks for reading!

[meimi-haneoka]

What are your top 10 favorite scenes in Clear Card manga? (Not counting the anime because it hasn't been finished yet)

Aaaahhh nice question! 🤭 Thank you so much for sending me this ask, since now that the main story is over, with a cool mind, it gave me the opportunity to think about the scenes I loved the most.

It is actually quite hard for me to choose, because there are so many good scenes, and it somehow feels also "unfair" to make a ranking, but I will try to answer with my CURRENT top 10, which is highly depending on my current inclinations and preferences. 😊 (under the cut, with explanations and analysis for each scene)

10. Chapter 1, "We'll be together forever"

I'm not placing this here because it's my least favorite, not at all, but because after more than 7 years, its power to evoke emotions in me has been supplanted by other scenes. 😅 I dunno how to explain it but, while it stays one of the most important and nostalgic scenes in this series, so much more happened in this arc that I feel "in a stronger way" than this scene. Still, it's in my top 10 because I was highly emotional when I've seen it in chapter 1.

9. Chapter 22, "Same goes for you, Syaoran-kun"

Ooooh, this was such a satisfactory moment, I still remember it. Till that moment, Sakura never gave out any hint that she had started to notice that Syaoran had been hiding something from her. This was portrayed differently in the anime, because Sakura confides her doubt with Meiling way before this scene happened in episode 21, but in the manga it was such a "wow" moment for me, because we had been screaming in our heads "how is it possible that Sakura is so oblivious that she doesn't notice anything", but no, she actually had already noticed, it's just that she wanted to take all of us by surprise, Syaoran included! And she was waiting patiently for him to talk to her. I also liked the way she phrased this, because it might be interpreted as slightly slightly calling him out while telling him "please open up to me" with love. Which is exactly what also will happen with another couple later on.

8. Chapter 33, Sakura hugs Syaoran with a resolute face

Another moment that made me scream "QUEEN!!" was this one. Oooh, how much I loved Sakura in this specific panel. Syaoran is prevented from warning her about Kaito and what he knows about him, so he desperately tries to convey to her with that crushing hug that no matter what happens, he's going to protect her. But since Sakura had just found out the truth about the Clear Cards and felt the frustration of not having understood it earlier, causing her loved one to put himself into a dangerous position, her resolute face here always conveyed to me her desire to be more "in touch" with herself, finally "waking up" and do her part to protect Syaoran in turn. That little hand gripping Syaoran's shirt tightly is everything to me. It's so rare to see Sakura depicted with such strong and complex feelings.

7. Chapter 41/42, Syaoran and Kaito's fight

One of my favorite scenes, no doubt. You have no idea how much I'm anticipating to see this scene in the anime. It's not only because my two favorite boys are basically arguing over who's more "I'll save/protect my most important person no matter what" (even if one of them hasn't figured it out yet), but it's also because we have a pretty violent Syaoran here...he attacked Kaito behind his back with a freaking lightning, without notice or anything else, and that made me go "wow Syaoran, you must be quite mad if you're not caring about fair play in this confrontation" 😂 And it's also pretty uncharacteristic of Kaito to be taken by suprise by someone....but this is just because Nadeshiko had distracted him with a topic that really dug deep in his core.

6. Chapter 31, "I'm also mad at you, Syaoran-kun"

And of course, this is another main scene that I can't wait to see animated and that really left an impact on me. I realize that my favorite scenes are those where the characters do something you wouldn't expect from them basing on what's been portrayed of them till that moment. And I think hearing Sakura say "I'm also mad at you, Syaoran-kun" had a major impact on me. And felt very satisfactory. Of course I knew that Sakura would've never lashed out at Syaoran when she would've found out about the Sakura Cards, about lying and omitting things to her...Sakura knows that her Syaoran would never reach such lengths if it weren't for her safety. But still, he didn't fully consider the consequences of his actions, which could've been so much worse than what we've seen, and I think in that moment Sakura fully realized all of that, and it's inevitable that the pain turned also into anger because "how can you be so blind to not realize that you would've killed me if something happened to you?". Sakura's calm and composed anger and pain is very much in character for her, but also something we yet had to see till that moment, so it felt really refreshing. I also remember her next sentence, "Even if it would've made you uncomfortable, I would've cried and cried forever". It's as if she was telling him "in front of something of such gravity, I need to take notice of my own feelings and express them. I WILL react in this way, even if I know that I will make you feel bad about it." It's claiming the right to be angry when your loved one messes up big time with you. (lord, the parallels!) And Syaoran's hug to her head, not even allowing himself to hug her body, felt very humble and respectful from his part, in my opinion. He absolutely felt the need to apologize and comfort her, but not invading her space and comfortable zone too much.

5. Chapter 52, "But you look like you're in pain"

Chapter 52 was a "parallels fest" beginning to end, and more than a scene, I'd daresay I place the entire chapter in this position of the ranking. It was very nice to see, for once, a parallelism between Akiho and Syaoran, rather than the usual Akiho and Sakura. I think CLAMP took care in depicting this scene because they wanted to make sure that the readers understood that, despite being under a "synchronization", the feelings Sakura and Akiho have for their loved ones are absolutely genuine, unique and personal to eachother. In short, Akiho doesn't act in a certain way towards Kaito because she's "mimicking" what Sakura does with Syaoran. If there's one thing in CLAMP manga that always eluded hitsuzen, plotting, scheming, even premonitions, are the feelings the characters have for their important people, and it's not something specific to CCS. Not even magic can change the feelings someone got for someone else, just as magic alone cannot make someone fall in love with someone else. It's always coming from the heart. And so, in this scene we see two kids deeply worried for their loved ones, who look in pain, and CLAMP have shown to us how their situations, although paralleling, had two very different outcomes, not because the feelings at the base were different, but because their circumstances were different. In the Akiho/Kaito half, I was absolutely heartbroken by Kaito's reaction, dictated by fear and isolation. But I was also in awe at Akiho's strength of mind, the way she kept insisting for Kaito to open up to her because she just could feel that something wasn't right, it hadn't been for a while at this point, and the fear to lose him made her stronger and more incisive than ever. Alas, Kaito's stubborness at this point of the story is basically playing a tug of war with her (a game Akiho has no intention to lose), so he had that reaction of running away and shutting the door in her face, another thing I found extremely uncharacteristic of him, because he had always been so respectful and diligent in his "role of the butler". With the progression of the story, this reaction became so much more clear and coherent with his state of mind. To this day, this chapter is so dear to me because of the strong and complex emotions depicted in it (even though at the time it hurt so much).

4. Chapter 80, "Cristaux. That's my true name"

Well yes, it might be because it's just fresh in my mind, or because it was, in a way, the end of the tribulations for me to see this guy finally realizing what Akiho is to him, but I feel this scene in my core. The choice to reveal his true name to her, what it means in a CLAMP manga, the intimacy of the scene without actually depicting anything that any reader (who doesn't know CLAMP well) would consider "regular" for a romantic scene (so much that a good amount of people didn't understand what happened here), makes it so precious and special to me. When I've talked about this scene in the stories of my IG account, I used "Delicate" by Taylor Swift as a background song, because I really feel like CLAMP depicted Kaito's intentions in a very delicate way. Which is how it is supposed to be, how their relationship will develop and transform along the way. They need so much sensitivity, gentleness, time, tenderness, because they both have lots of scars they need to heal from. And just like in the song, Kaito is starting to acknowledge many things and he's moving a tiny step ahead in that direction, with this gesture that means so much (and Akiho is perfectly aware of what it entails). It's like "starting again" for them, this time from a foundation of honesty and trust. Slowly, slowly healing and building their bond back up. It's the evidence that when your heart is in the right place, there's always a second chance and Kaito showed here that he doesn't want to waste it.

3. Chapter 78, Akiho and Kaito's reunion

Well. OF COURSE this would be in my top 3! I cried so much!! 🥲 The emotional tension, Akiho's anger, Kaito's silence that suggested how stunned he was, finally realizing things that we waited for the whole manga for him to see... I think the one aspect that struck me the hardest in this scene was imagining to be in Akiho's shoes in that moment, and feeling all that love and anger pouring out of her, without even fully understanding where those feelings came from, because she still didn't remember anything about him. Like, you have someone in front of you, your heart knows it's the person you love, and yet you can't remember anything about them, not even their name. But you still feel this storm of feelings pouring out of you. So powerful. As powerful was Akiho's assertiveness when she rebuked Kaito not only for deciding her happiness on her behalf, without asking her absolutely anything, but most importantly because he dared to remove himself from her life, thinking "she doesn't need me to be happy, after all", when he was so so so wrong. And in doing that, he committed another horrible thing, he literally threw himself away in the process, like something of no value. I think more than anything else, this was what hurt Akiho the most. And we always go back to that parallelism of chapter 31, how these boys, in their fever of protecting their most important person, completely forget/don't see how fundamental THEY are to that person's happiness. Out of this whole reunion, another scene I love is when Akiho kinda "pulls" Kaito back to her, pressuring him to go along with Sakura's plan to revert him back to his true appearance (from that of a dragon). You can see that his self-loathing makes him hesitate, and resist that plan till the last second, but when he exchanges that long stare with Akiho, he finally caves in. Her hard stare, which shows already the irritation and pain that will overflow afterwards, makes him feel "wanted", necessary to someone. Just for being himself, not because of his powers, like it had been till he met her. That's another moment of this scene that I love deeply.

2. Chapter 48, "The moon is beautiful"

Yeah I'm sorry, I've been debating whether this scene would go to n. 1 or not, then decided otherwise, but I can't lie to myself: the scene that impacted me the most in this entire manga, the one that changed me, is this one. Akiho's covert love confession under the full moon. And until someone explained to me what Akiho actually meant with that "because the moon is really beautiful", I had considered this just a very sweet and cute scene, but nothing more. When someone gave me the correct "reading key" (and it's absolutely intentional because Akiho's speech is placed between quote marks), something changed inside of me towards these two. I already liked them, Akiho in particular, but this scene confirmed to me that Akiho was serious in wanting to grasp her life tightly and change it. From a shy, insecure girl needing validation at every sentence, crushed by the trauma of the past, to someone who actually made the first, concrete steps in conveying her thoughts and feelings to the person most important to her. From stillness, to action. The first steps towards finding her voice, and letting it be heard, louder and louder, throughout the story. This is a very important turning point, as you can literally see her changing, after this scene. Even in this metaphorical way, it must have required for Akiho to muster all of her courage to confess her feelings. Did Kaito understand what she meant, here? To this day, I don't think he did. Otherwise, he wouldn't have said such a foolish thing like "I didn't think you needed me to be happy" in ch. 78. But he still wanted to spend time with her, he was visibly glad to receive that "invitation" from her, even though he never let that transpire from his words, his reply is a line carefully built in Japanese to address what Akiho wanted, not what he wanted. Cause he couldn't allow himself to want anything, aside from that one wish, knowing very well how this would've ended. Chapter 48 and 49 were giving us everything we needed to know to determine not only Akiho's feelings towards Kaito, but also his own feelings for her. It's very clear by the way they look at eachother in their scenes of these two chapters. And yet, the smell of "doom" was looming over them (so much that at the time I thought this would be their last conversation before everything went down the drain; fortunately it wasn't), so this "duality" created the perfect mix to get me definitively invested in these two.

1. Chapter 79, "I can't be on everyone's side"

I chose this scene for the 1st position because I absolutely adored the revolutionary and strong message that Sakura passed in the very culmination of the climax. I felt we really needed it. More than once I had feared, throughout the serialization, that CLAMP would've shown Sakura trying to "befriend" or "compromise" with the Squids & Association, when the "moment of the truth" would've come. Because of the apparent "dogma" that "Sakura is everyone's friend, no one is evil in Sakura's world, Sakura is such a good girl".

But what they had already shown about Akiho's clan and the Association ABSOLUTELY couldn't be justified or compromised with. CLAMP had already shown too much cruelty from them, there couldn't be any "redeeming arc" or anything like that, that wouldn't result in being offensive to the sensitivity and intelligence of the readers. Sometimes it happens that you just can't compromise with cruel people guided only by greed. You shouldn't. Especially if they abused other people ever since they were so little.

In this specific scene, CLAMP have put Sakura in front of a choice, but not only that: they also made her question her own morality. How I adored that! Sakura does realize that what she's about to do might not be good from a moral standpoint, forcing people to forget about something without their consent. Exactly what Kaito did before. But she doesn't care. This is something different, and the difference lies in the intentions. While Kaito acted out of love, those other people were clearly trying to harm her friends. Because of this, she spells out clearly that she can't be on everyone's side. Because at some point a choice needs to be made, and she chose Akiho and Kaito. This scene right here is, perhaps, the one that answers the question that I know many people made themselves throughout the story, and after it was over: did we need Akiho and Kaito in Cardcaptor Sakura?

Yes, we did.

Because they brought Sakura to this moment, and they pushed her to make this decision. The decision to choose her loved ones' happiness over anything else, even her own morality, particularly when cruel intentions were involved towards people with a background much less happier and ideal than hers'. The decision to go on along with them, rather than trying to go back to how things were before. The decision to do whatever in her power to protect them. A series of decisions that brought her an enormous character development. This thematic of "going on" rather than "going back" was so strong in Tsubasa too, and it's not a coincidence that everyone could feel a strong connection to that other CLAMP work, in the final 2 chapters (and not only because of the cameos).

I think this scene defined and changed CCS forever (for the better, in my opinion). I feel like the essence of Clear Card is all here. This feeling of "everything we went through was for this moment" is so strong that made me designate it as my n. 1 scene!✨