#InRecovery

[liy4hsx0s]

fuck being inrecovery i want my sick body back

[saintincarnate]

Serious (non cute/romanticised) tips for dealing with depression, from someone with persistent depressive disorder, (6 years and counting).

1. If you only have enough energy to complete one self care / hygienic task, prioritize brushing your teeth. Greasy hair and dirty laundry can be fixed easily, but finding out down the line that you have numerous cavities from periods of neglecting oral hygiene is much harder. Fillings are expensive and need to be routinely replaced throughout your life. If you can do only one thing, just brush your teeth.

2. When grocery shopping (or getting takeout), force yourself to pick stuff that actually has decent nutritional value. When you’re stumbling to the kitchen to eat your first meal in 3 days, filling yourself with empty calories will only make you feel more tired, helpless and lethargic down the line, but if your only available options are things like fruit or vegetables, it’ll give you that little boost of energy to feel that much more capable.

3. If you have long hair, I suggest keeping it in a braid, especially if you’re the type of person who finds their focus hindered by feeling unclean or unhygienic. Having loose, knotted hair in my face makes me feel gross, which in turn makes me feel like I can’t get anything done, or like trying isn’t worth it. It’s a personal note/preference, but I find that it helps.

4. I have battery-operated lights hanging in my room that turn on with a timer every night. They were cheap fairy lights that I bought about a year ago but I find they help to reorient me when everything feels like one long day. If I can depend on their on/off schedule, I feel a little more grounded, and more able to reattach to reality and my surroundings.

5. Give yourself a “placebo”. That doesn’t mean medication necessarily, but more like a placebo responsibility or ritual that helps you to separate time periods. Try make it something that involves one or more of your senses, such as looking out your window at a certain time, as if you were in charge of checking on an elderly neighbour across from you every day, or dusting down a particular furniture surface, as if caring for that furniture for a friend who is out of town and loves that furniture immensely. These sound like silly examples but they really help to give you a sense of initiative each day.

I’ll put up more of these when I’m able to remember and articulate the things that help me to cope and take care of myself each day

[sensitive1soul]

I'll get better I promise

Just don't leave me and give me some time because..

Healing takes time ☁️ ❤️‍🩹 ☁️

[tinkalicious08]

“Repsond; don’t react. Listen; don’t talk. Think; don’t assume.” - Raji Lukkoor #auraapp #aura #aurahealth #aurahealthapp #positivequotes #positiveaffirmations #rajilukkoor #rajilukkoorquotes #positivevibes #positivity #mysobrietyrocks #inrecovery #sobercurious #sobermom https://www.instagram.com/p/CVQXSEpFNnn/?utm_medium=tumblr

[mylonelygrl]

Well damn I haven’t been on here in literally 4 years. A lot has changed since then. I find myself coming back only because I need a place to archive my thoughts. My written journals, as nice as they are to have, aren’t an effective place anymore to really get all of my thoughts down as efficiently as I’d like. When the urge comes over me to write an entry I have more thoughts than my hands can keep up with, and even in this format I have a hard time keeping up but I have a better chance at getting the meat of it out if I’m typing. So here we are. 

First, I suppose I should give an introduction to anyone that may stumble upon this blog. (It should be noted right out of the gate that everything written here will ABSOLUTELY be in the style of stream of consciousness, so while it may make sense to me to read through, it may not make sense to you. And that’s ok. I hope at the very least it may be entertaining, and at the very best, helpful for anyone else who may have similar thoughts to my own.)  Anyway, I don’t care too much about anonymity so I’ll tell you that my name is Mallory. I’m 29 years old and live in Denver,CO. I’m an industrial design student that loves art, dogs, tattoos (if any old followers are still here, you knew that already), my family, and Seinfeld reruns. Above all else however, I am an addict. I’ll just leave it at that. No one needs to know what it is exactly I’m addicted to, just that I’m an addict. I tend to think that all addicts in some way shape or form are the same, or at least, we all share a very similar burden, so for that reason I don’t feel as though it’s necessary to discern what my drug of choice is. If it’s not one thing, it will undoubtedly become another if I don’t do something about it. 

I guess you can say I’ve never really hit a rock bottom. Maybe I have, but it’s not like the type of rock bottom you see on tv. I’ve never been homeless, I’ve never been disowned by my family, I’ve never contracted a disease, I’ve never over dosed. On the contrary, most people on the outside looking in may think I have my shit very much together. I manage a full time work and school schedule (yes, even post covid), maintain social obligations (safely, of course), am in fairly good shape and am well spoken. I have however, allowed my addiction to drive wedges between those I love and have recently been dumped by the person I assumed to be the one, my person. It’s a long story, and I should’ve seen the writing on the wall but in short: I made decisions and acted in a way that hurt this person very much. I was unable to see beyond my own mental illness and insecurities in order to take care of them and protect them and in turn, pushed them so far away that there is, I believe, no possibility for reparation of that relationship. The damage is irreparable. We don’t even speak as friends. It is to date, the biggest regret of my life. 

I realized even before the relationship ended that I was forming destructive habits and had been for quite some time. I convinced myself, however, that everything was fine because I had none of the markers of a life in shambles. I had (and have) everything I need. I always figure it out. That’s my super power, ever since I was a kid who was largely neglected. I figure my shit out and get through no matter how the cards are stacked against me. The problem with that  is that I’ve never allowed others to help me. I would rather suffer on my own and figure it out than ask for help, and in turn relied heavily on chemical sedation to make it through each day. (This behavior, by the way, started as far back as 15 years old. It really ramped up in my late 20′s.) I could hear and see how I was treating this person that I loved so much, and all the ways that I failed to be there for them when they needed me the most. I could. All the scenarios that I could’ve handled differently keep me awake at night when I, inevitably, find myself self medicating. The relationship could’ve survived had I gotten a handle on my mental wellness and helped them through their grief. I just... couldn’t. I couldn’t see beyond myself as much as I wanted to. Again, I’m not sure I’ve ever regretted anything more in my entire life. I often think about if I’ll fall in love again and I just don’t see that happening. The qualities this person possessed were and are unparalleled. They’ll never ever know that I thought the sun shined out of their ass and just how much I loved them, because I had my head shoved so far up my own. 

So now I’m stuck with me. And my thoughts. And my anxiety. And my depression. And my crippling fear of never amounting to anything. And my insecurities. And my guilt. And my fears. And so on. I find sobriety for maybe a week at a time and then, usually at night, I have a good memory of...we’ll call him... Eric, and I don’t even know what to do with myself. I try so hard just to be happy that we ever had that time together. I try so hard just to be thankful that we DID have so many good times and that he DID make me feel so good. Within seconds though I’m overcome with guilt. I could’ve kept that if only I did XYZ. I could be sleeping next to him now if only I had done this, or that. If I were sober. 

The fucked up thing about addiction is that I absolutely KNOW without a doubt my life will be better if I just don’t medicate. If I face my feelings head on and work through them like a normal person, I will make it to the other side of that feeling stronger and happier and healthier. I knew that in my relationship with Eric but I medicated anyway. I know it now when I feel these emotions in the middle of the night. And I medicate anyway. 

And while I’ve said this a thousand times before, and wouldn’t blame anyone if they heard me say it again now and choose to not believe me, I’ll say it anyway: I’m done for good this time. I’m tired of this pattern of reckless behavior and hanging by a thread. I know it’s scary and I know there will be long sleepless nights and days that feel fucking impossible. And I know I’ll probably feel sick. I know I’ll be irritable and I’ll feel scared. I’ll feel alone. I’ll feel all of these things for the first time, like FOR REAL, in nearly 15 years. For all of those reasons, I find myself coming back here again. 

My hope is that there are other people like me to connect with on Tumblr who may also be looking for a community like I am. There is something very appealing about finding a community of strangers to talk to and mutually comfort without fear of judgement or ostracism. If you are a someone who is dealing with something similar or at the precipice of a similar predicament and don’t even want to engage but want to read about my story and how I got here, please follow me. If you want to talk, talk. If you don’t, just listen. I am by far the role model anyone needs but I am choosing recovery and choosing life. Any and all are welcome to join along. 

[jemo630]

Working from home today to help nurse Chuckie Puppy back to health and make sure he doesn’t rip his sutures and maintain his comfort. He was back to his rambunctious self even while hobbling on three paws when I hopped out of bed, so had to crate for a bit while I did my morning routine. #ChuckiePuppy #recovering #getwellsoon #speedyrecovery #onpainmeds #injuredpup #sickpup #medicated #inrecovery #sickpuppy #injuredpuppy #cockerspaniel #cockerspanielsofinstagram #cockerspanielpuppy #cockerpuppy (at Chicago metropolitan area) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf_vxG_uvIL/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[sexybrilliant]

#Devina #Kaur #Sexy #Brilliant #Teaching - True #healing happens when we #forgive ourselves for our own #errors !💖 Everyday I allow self-compassion to flow through and #mindfully practice self-forgiveness for my #FoodAddictions for me being a #Workaholic for my #Learning and #dating addiction (I share more in my books - details on SexyBrilliant.com). It may take me a life time but I am proudly #InRecovery and work with many professionals to be a better me. You too are worthy of self-love, self-compassion and self-forgiveness. 😘 Please be mindful in self-talk. The #SexyBrilliant videos will help you towards empowerment, please like and subscribe- https://tinyurl.com/yddrxlkd Thanks @thedevinakaur https://www.instagram.com/p/Bep9Ox5BHIH/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=qvm5n3fgqybl

[pbbg]

Recovering #inrecovery #suitical #spay #astra #🦡❤️‍🩹💝🐾💉💊 (at Astoria) https://www.instagram.com/p/CRMRkbMsyrJuT3tn7GBKUWZeBDsGKuCLv9NcCk0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[casualcloudchaos]

NotOK

I’m not okay

I’m not, okay.

I’m not okay, okay.

After a lifetime of asserting 

Fine.

I’m fine.

I can tell you that

I’m 

not okay.

Not okay.

I’m not okay.

[nanathephoxx]

That moment when I am craving a substance and it’s constantly in my head. I remember all the bad times I had when I was messed up and how many people I’ve hurt. I turn it around and tell myself... “I can’t ever do that again, I can’t ever hurt the ones I love. Remember how disgusted you felt after.” That’s my motivation. Being sober is my life and I love it. #inrecovery #believeinyourself #cedarcitytemple #utah #lds #mormon #loveyourself (at St. George, Utah)

[mermaidgirl1990]

𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚊𝚙. 𝚂𝚑𝚎'𝚜 𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚛𝚎𝚌𝚘𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚢. 𝙰𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝙸 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚎 𝚔𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐, 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚙𝚞𝚝 𝚊 𝚋𝚕𝚊𝚗𝚔𝚎𝚝 𝚘𝚗 𝙼𝚊𝚍𝚒𝚜𝚘𝚗. 𝙳𝚎𝚊𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚝𝚝𝚕𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐. •ℋ𝒶𝓃ℊ𝒾𝓃 𝓉𝒽ℯ𝓇ℯ• 🐶💗 #mynewfurryfriend #shorkie #mixedbreed #inrecovery #spaysurgery https://www.instagram.com/p/CHYXTANh7QlfqBfVoONoR-_eqHOaTfsSCmnP-M0/?igshid=1hew61isnqxvz

[distelart]

•In recovery• •part1• It took me almost a year to get better with my mental health. To understand my brain and habits again and stop being mad at myself. I had many ups and downs, tears and staying in bed and staying there for some time. But I haven’t had a panic attack where I get complete lost in anxiety and helplessness for months now, my mindset becomes stronger and my anxiety is less then it was for such a long time. The last time I felt good in my skin and better with myself was back in 2016. I think I’m almost there again and I’m very happy that I’m surrounded by people who are there, giving me advice, calling me when they notice I’m in a bad mood or show up and try to deflect from my thoughts. Thankyou.(B.,C.,F.,S.,A.,P.,L.)<3 I don’t want my brain to erase all the habits I appropriated or feelings I get. It will always be a part and that’s ok. __________________________________________ #illustration #ballpointpenart #sketchbook #sketchbookdrawing #drawing #portraitdrawing #lotus #inrecovery #artistsoninstagram #mentalhealth #cyberpunkart #robo #sketchbookpage #thankyou #mom #brother #boyfriend #friends (hier: Germany) https://www.instagram.com/p/CE9c-VfBqk2/?igshid=1i3gq55r1r2lw

[thesquarechick]

Square Chick Convos Take 64🎬 There's nothing wrong with gentle reminders...if that doesn't work..... separate yourself from those who constantly try to change you for their sake. There are certain things we must remain adamant about....for starters, Who We Are!! ~The Square Chick #stoppretending #genuine #imdifferent #SQUARECHICKINC #strengthquotes #notperfect #life #perfection #MINDOVERMATTER #4SQUARECHICKS #dialouge #SQUAREISTHENEWSEXY #youcansayno #COMFORTZONE #embraceyourflaws #inrecovery #SQUARECHICKSWIN #IWRITE #IMASQUARECHICK #lifelessons #THESQUARECHICK #igwriters #SELFLOVE #sacrifice #inspiration https://www.instagram.com/p/B6KongQnklV/?igshid=1q0tnuo4jkk5i

[tinkalicious08]

Eating lunch with mom at #chopstixgainesville 🥰💜 Thank you, sister!! Also, thank you to @chopstick_asian_bistro for our amazing meal and wonderful customer service!! Plus, the view and weather was so beautiful 🌤☀️ #thaiicedtea #greentea #padthai #teriyakibeef #garlicchickenwings #glutenfree #vegan #vegetarian #goodeats #gainesvilleflorida #gainesville #momdaughtertime #daughtermomlunch #inrecovery #mysobrietyrocks #sobermom #sobermomsquad #chopstix #chopstixgainesvillefl #chopstixbistro #asianfusion #asianfood #thaifoodstagram #chinesefood #shrimppadthai #chickenpadthai (at Gainesville, Florida) https://www.instagram.com/p/CVEhavYIbJU/?utm_medium=tumblr

[farasue]

#bofuvem 💯 #inrecovery 🙏🏽 https://www.instagram.com/p/B4wOQHFFSzi/?igshid=qq6huauoc8xq

[jemo630]

ChuckiePuppy is getting discharged. A harrowing incident at the park this afternoon involving a vehicle. Luckily he’s strong willed and resilient. #ChuckiePuppy #bravepuppy #livestrong #aftervetvisit #bravedog #resilient #strongwill #inrecovery #recovering #injuredpup #livetofightanotherday #fighter #getwellsoon #injuredpuppy (at BluePearl Veterinary Partners - Skokie) https://www.instagram.com/p/Cf-iAyKO2Bf/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=