#Kayleigh's weird idea

[emo-batboy]

Battinson and Food

He’s vegetarian and I will hear none of your crap

Depression meals, so many depression meals

I already made a post of his greatest hits here but here's three more:

A whole tub of apple sauce

Instant grits mixed with a hot chocolate packet

And a bowl of croutons

Some meals have actually graduated from the “Depression Meal” category to “Whenever I Can Sneak It Out of the Kitchen” status (because Alfred is appalled every time)

Dick, with the invincible, titanium-lined stomach of a 9yo, doesn’t know why Bruce makes them, but he loves taking bites of Bruce’s weird concoctions.

His favorites so far are:

Cream cheese and jelly sandwich

Spoonfuls of peanut butter (with chocolate chips, that was his idea)

And frozen garlic bread

Diner Food is King. (This is New Jersey. What did you expect?) His go-to order is two eggs over easy, well-done rye toast, grits with syrup and butter, and a fruit cup with no melons from the 24-hour place two blocks east. Hasn’t changed since he was five. Never will.

Bruce can cook food that is edible. Edible.

Like if he tries to make Italian, he can successfully cook the pasta. He can make a basic sauce. He can even plate it.

The tomato sauce is crunchy in some places, yes, but it’s fine :) and it is edible

but Bruce has NEVER succeeded in a baking endeavor, and it positively devastates him every single time

“Baking is science! I love science! I’m great at science. So why didn’t the cake rise when I did everything on the recipe?!” “You need to make it with love-“ “That wasn’t on the ingredients list, Alfred!”

He can handle spice surprisingly well. It’s not like he could avoid it while training all over the world, so he ended up building a tolerance, but his eyes still go unbelievably red every time.

He really fucks with bagels (I mean, what self-respecting Gothamite doesn’t) and he has a very specific bagel order for every possible mood from the great place downtown

The workers at Bagel Kingdom know which moods correspond with which order, and they have a designated spreadsheet taped to the back of the counter so they can work accordingly.

They know he’s barely hanging in there when he gets a toasted blueberry bagel with no butter.

He’s having a good day when he gets a plain bagel sandwich with tomato, provolone, two fried eggs, and hot sauce. In that order. That’s the shit

When he’s stressed, he gets a pumpernickel bagel with strawberry cream cheese to cheer himself up.

The workers of Bagel Kingdom will NOT let you disrespect his bagel.

Bruce almost burnt the tower down when he tried to cook a toaster waffle in the microwave while running on 40 hours without sleep, and he just kept cooking it because it wasn’t crisping for some reason

Alfred needs to force him to eat all the time

(It is definitely because Bruce suffers from disordered eating.)

There was one period of time in which Bruce went days without food, and Alfred (lovingly) threatened to send him to in-patient if he didn’t eat

Bruce said that those gross, mushy, lukewarm blueberries were the only thing he’d tolerate when he was struggling, so blueberries became their indicator: if Bruce can’t stomach blueberries, he goes to in-patient.

He’s gone twice, and Bruce was very mad each time, but he still uses healing methods that he was taught in there so it couldn’t have been that bad.

(He’s also friends with some of the nurses now. He, Denise, and Kayleigh have a group chat.)

Dick once convinced him to test taste different kinds of olive oil to learn the difference between regular and extra virgin. It was absolutely disgusting, and he ended up puking an hour later. Alfred now puts child locks on the kitchen cabinets.

The first time Bruce ever makes a meal that doesn’t look horrid is when he spends two weeks practicing Romani dishes for Dick the month after he adopts him.

He has since perfected three different recipes:

Stuffed peppers

Goulash

Cabbage rolls

(Keep in mind Dick is not vegetarian like Bruce.)

He tried making almond cake like 80 times (which is more like a biscuit but still a baked good) but could never do it right so Alfred makes them instead.

At dinner time, Dick always eats off Bruce’s plate more than his own. Alfred has chastised him several times, but Bruce only encourages him more. He thinks it’s cute. And so does the general public when they attend dinner parties.

One of Bruce's favorite memories of his parents is when he had a bad dream in the middle of the night so Thomas and Martha drove him out to the nearest diner to have a chocolate milkshake at 3 am.

Now, after patrol, if Bruce saw something traumatic or something that reminded him of his parents’ death, he’ll go to that same 24-hour diner and sit for a bit with a chocolate milkshake.

He continues this tradition after Dick becomes Robin. (Even if it took months for Bruce to even consider the idea of letting Dick near harm’s way.)

No matter how hard he tries to keep Dick away from the gruesome stuff, he can’t stop everything. They get milkshakes a lot more than Bruce would like.

But eventually, it turns into a treat whenever Dick does well in school or needs a pick-me-up.

And when they add Jason to the mix, they introduce him to the tradition as well.

They know everything will be okay when they have chocolate milkshakes together.

[dayurno]

omg reverse riko au is making me feel so ill..... please let us know if you have any more thoughts abt riko kayleigh and kevin legend.....

I DO my idea is that its around the same age kevin and riko met in canon so tetsuji kicks the bucket when riko is 7/8 and riko is (very forcibly) removed from the nest and sidelined to kayleigh as a new moriyama asset from the main branch takes over the nest. riko struggles a lot with the change because he is very young and very scared and he’s used to horrible things at tetsuji’s hand, which means that he doesn’t trust kayleigh and finds kevin entirely too weird. it’s honestly really cute because i think at this point obviously 7 year old kevin wants to befriend him but riko is such an anxious ball of anger that most of their interactions are like

baby riko: what do you WANT from me. go AWAY!!!! NOW

baby kevin: (heavy irish accent) nothing i think. do you want a bite of my sandwich?

anyway i think riko and kayleigh do get along but he never really considers her his mother or even godmother, for a long time he thinks of her as his Benefactor until the child therapy starts hitting and she becomes Aunt Kayleigh and then after a few more years he can be loosely convinced to refer to her as auntie once or twice a year. his second son syndrome never really leaves him; in the upcoming years riko struggles with the idea that he’s anything But an add-on to the days and still overworks himself to death trying to be acknowledged by kengo, but it’s leaps better just from being outside the nest and having people to look out for him

riko and kevin have some rough patches, especially during riko’s first years with the days. because kevin is an easy target and riko is afraid of kayleigh he ends up letting a lot of that anger out on kevin, though obviously at this point they are children and riko’s anger manifests in some mild bullying and name calling. i think kevin doesn’t even understand it most of the time 😭 riko has been around grown ups his entire life so his adult level insults make no sense to kevin’s seven year old mind. nevertheless after kayleigh tells him to stop picking on kevin riko does respect it (first out of fear, then later because they actually get along) and they go on to become brothers with only a slight tendency towards antagonism. riko’s jealousy of kevin is still a big part of their relationship and i think even more so when college applications roll around, and he’s even more worried when wymack comes into the picture, but it never culminates into anything as horrible as hand breaking because riko has an actual outlet and a support system :) it’s mostly a yelling match that eventually turns to getting scolded by kayleigh for acting like barbarians

[moondal514]

📓👀

(Aftg?)

Hiii!

So this is an idea I had for a soft-ish high school au where the Foxes are all still traumatized, but have been adopted into stable homelife situations and are finally in a position where they can start to heal.

The families are as follows:

Wymack adopts Dan, Seth, and Nicky.

Abby adopts Kevin.

Betsy adopts Andrew.

Randy gains sole custody of Matt and adopts Aaron.

Stephanie adopts Renee.

Allison lives with her grandpa.

And Neil lives with Stuart.

Wymack adopts Seth 1st when Seth’s mom dies. Seth is ~11 (his dad has already walked out by then) when he is adopted. Unfortunately the rest of Seth’s siblings get divided up by the foster system but Wymack is able to help Seth track them down and arrange visits them when Seth wants to.

Wymack adopts Dan next when Dan is thrown into the foster system instead of the care of her aunt cuz her aunt refuses to take custody of her. Dan is ~9 when this happens.

Nicky comes last, when he gets taken away from Luther by CPS for sending Nicky to conversion camp at 13. He is put into and adopted by Wymack.

Abby adopts Kevin after Kayleigh dies cuz as much as Wymack would love to adopt Kevin, at this point he already has 3 kids and can’t really take anymore. Abby volunteers and since Wymack and Abby are moreorless married, for Kevin it’s basically just like as if he’s living with Wymack.

Instead of the Spears, luck of the draw the foster system puts Andrew with Betsy and it’s all pretty straight forward from there.

When Matt is 8, his dad dies, so Randy gets custody of Matt by default. Some years later, Matt wants a younger brother and Randy wants to foster. Luck of the draw and they adopt Aaron. Tilda dies when Aaron is ~9. Luther and Maria are deemed unfit for children (hence Nicky being taken away and ending up with Wymack) so he gets put into the system. Randy adopts him.

Stephanie and Renee is basically the same as canon except Renee is aged down a bit.

When Allison is ~13 and developing her eating disorder, her grandpa takes her out of her parents custody and helps her out.

Neil is living with Stuart because Stuart decides to make his move against Nathan super early, when Neil was about to be given to the Moriyamas. He kills Nathan, but Mary dies in the process. Stuart takes custody of Neil as a result.

Everyone is in the same city and goes to the same high school.

That was a very long set-up explanation lol. The main story would be just general high school shenanigans. Here are some snippets:

Dan crosses her arms. “What do you want then.”

The boy, Matthew Boyd she thinks his name is, holds up a flower, cheeks red. “I—I wanted to give this to you.”

-

Andrew definitely doesn’t have strong feelings about Neil Josten’s lips. Not at all. Because Andrew hates Neil Josten.

-

Andrew pokes Aaron’s cheek. “Stop making my face look weird.”

Aaron scoffs. “Stop being a little bitch then.”

“We are the exact same height.”

-

“I’m not talking to you unless you take off your shirt or something.”

Kevin shrugs, easily pulling his shirt over his head, abs flexing attractively. Andrew glares at his physically toned perfection. Absolutely disgusting.

“Now will you talk to me?” Kevin puts his hands on his hips like a disapproving mother. It’s awfully reminiscent of Wymack and shirtless Wymack is absolutely not an image Andrew wants in his head.

“No,” Andrew says. “Put your shirt back on. No one wants to see that.”

“You literally just said—“

“Andrew!” Bee calls from the house. Kevin scrambles to put his shirt back on just as Bee steps out onto the porch.

Send me a “📓” emoji and I’ll tell you about a fic idea I have that I’ll never write

[changingplumbob]

Foster Household: Chapter 8, Part 4

Harvey begins a midlife crisis, Carson has a difficult school day where most of the faculty are jerks, and Keira discusses her future home with Kayleigh.

With a midlife crisis threatening to over power him Harvey does his best to do the things he loves. He hasn’t fished at night for quite some time so he goes out to his boat and casts a line. Normally he sails to deeper water but tonight he is content to search the shallows.

Keira: Hey mum, is this right

Kayleigh: What do you mean honey

Keira: I’ve seen you do this figure painting like a billion times but I’m not sure I have the proportions right

Kayleigh: You do, I promise

Kayleigh (level 10 in painting) mentors Keira while she paints and in the end we have Keira’s second masterpiece!

Kayleigh: Harv, where have you been

Harvey: Fishing, and thinking

Kayleigh: Penny for your thoughts

Harvey: I just… I’m feeling old. Like life is getting away from me. I don’t think I’m going to reach the top of my career before retirement

Kayleigh: I know you’ve always been ambitious. While I can’t magically promote you, I do have an idea of something that could help you feel young

PILLOW FIGHT

Kayleigh: Take that scoundrel

Harvey: I shall never yield villain

Kayleigh: Is that so? A pillow to the face should change your mind

Harvey: Ouch

Kayleigh: Are you okay

Harvey: Sneak attack!

After a passionate battle Kayleigh emerges victorious, and the pair have some woohoo making Harvey feel young, at least for the night.

In the morning the midlife crisis hits, and leaves Harvey yearning for creativity. He gets up early to watch the sky change colour and get inspired.

Keira: Are you still hugging trash

Carson: For good luck

Harvey: I thought your first day at high school went okay

Carson: Yeah but this is the first active day. How did you find Mr Amarinth

Keira: Who

Carson: The principal

Keira: Sorry, it was Mr Booth when I was there

Harvey: Just be polite and show respect, he shouldn’t have any reason for complaint

Mrs Hensley: CARSON

Carson: Woah, woah, what?

Mrs H: Being at school and not in class? You should be ashamed of yourself

Carson: But it’s only 8am, there must be a mod problem, no classes are even on right now

Mrs H: I care not for your nonsense! I’ll let you off without detention this once but I still find you suspicious

Carson: Don’t worry, I’ll get to my classes

And he does! He’s first in with Mrs Tinker for art.

Carson as an art lover is excited to see what he’ll learn today.

Mrs T: Alright everyone, let’s get our books and- William?

William: Yes Mrs Tinker, sorry, I’m just putting it on silent

Mrs T: Make sure you do. Today we will be introducing your young minds to the idea of negative space. While many works of art focus on the clear image, the space surrounding the focal point can be used to show a design all of its own. Let me illustrate, I assume you’ve all seen the FedEx logo? I’ll draw it. Notice how the design has an arrow here. While it is not the flashy part of the logo it is used in conjunction to show the brand as a delivery service

Carson takes some time to think about this. Stuff that isn’t there being part of a bigger picture? Weird.

Mr Amarinth: Another Foster

Carson: Oh hi Principal Amarinth, how are you today

Mr A: It appears you will not be following the example of your siblings. Mrs Hensley told me you almost got detention this morning, you are on warning

Carson: But it-

Mr A: No buts! I’m observing Mrs Tinker’s class this afternoon and I expect to see you all involved in the curriculum

Mr Amarinth gets up and most of the student exchange confused looks.

Mrs T: Don’t worry, it’s a routine check. I’m sure you won’t let me down

Darwin: I’m sure I will

Carson: So how do you work this again Onyx

Onyx: Oh social bunny? It’s not too complex. You send people friend requests right? And then you can check out what they’ve been up to

Carson: What happened to catching up in the real world

Onyx: I don’t know, I guess it’s not a teen thing anymore. You settling in okay?

Carson fills Onyx in on the bizarre encounter from this morning and Onyx assures him that Mrs Hensley is simply a hard ass who enjoys scowling at the students more than teaching them.

Carson: I thought high school was meant to be full of attractive people

Onyx: What do you mean

Carson: I’ve glanced around and honestly… not finding anyone that makes my heart flutter

Onyx: I mean I’ve spotted some okay ones but we must have different tastes

Carson: Yeah. I just figured I’d be swept over by some hot senior you know

Onyx: Dude, we’re only 13, we got plenty of time to chase relationships later. Right now I’m chasing cheerleading and hopefully a horse

Carson: Right. I guess I do have scouts to keep me occupied

The warning bell sounds and the teens head off to computer science.

The class starts and sure enough Principal Amarinth is in there watching like a hawk.

Mr A: Paola! Why don’t you have your exercise book out

Paola: I can’t hold it and blow my nose

Mr A: You’re on warning! Get to work. Amie! Is that a phone

Amie: I’m sorry Mr A, my mum’s just got some surgery scheduled for now and I wanted to-

Mr A: You’re on warning!

Carson: Mr A is that-

Mr A: My name is Amarinth Carson, use it, anything less shows disrespect

Carson: I didn’t mean-

Mr A: Enough! You can think on it in detention. Don’t think I missed you doodling back there Miss Bjergsen. If you refuse to write properly I’m sure the office has some jobs you can do

Angel: *sighs* Yes Mr Amarinth

Mr A: Pancakes!

Onyx: Yes sir?

Mr A: Can you tell me the last thing Mrs Tinker said

Onyx: umm… remember to make sure it’s plugged in?

Mr A: Wrong! Tell you what, stay in detention with Carson. Perhaps sitting and thinking will do you wonders

The bell for end of day rings, most of the students head off except for Carson, Onyx and Christen.

Mrs T: I’m sorry about that everyone

Christen: Mr A clearly did not take his chill pills today

Mrs T: Christen dear let’s not stigmatise mental illness. Onyx, cheer practice will start soon. Mr Amarinth is bound to be buried in paperwork, you go and I’ll mark you as present

Onyx: *already running off* Thanks Mrs T, you’re the best

Mrs T: I’m not sure what he expects us to do with all this time

(but seriously what do you do? At my New Zealand high school detention was done during lunch breaks, no one had after school or weekend detention)

Christen: Oh we should play hangman

Carson: Actually Mrs T I was wondering if I could talk to you some more about what you were saying in art this morning

When Carson finally gets home Harvey is busy cooking and Kayleigh is stuck in her art headspace.

Carson: I’m back

Harvey: Did you have fun after school

Carson: Not exactly, I had detention

Harvey: Did you have to scrape gum off desks

Carson: No, we just talked about art. I guess it was kind of fun if I think about it

Harvey: That’s the spirit kid. With the right attitude, you’ll get through anything

Marta: Doing homework already

Carson: Yeah. Mr Amarinth basically thinks I’m a step away from getting expelled (yes I, the watcher, actually got a pop up saying this)

The homework doesn’t take too long though and Carson ends the day playing some games with Onyx, Darwin and William through the wonder of the internet. Kayleigh does more painting, Harvey does more stargazing, and Marta and Keira spend the time kissing and taking romantic selfies.

The next day Harvey starts tending his garden, which is one of the activities that will help curb his midlife crisis. The bees don’t even attack him today!

Carson: Mum

Kayleigh: Yes Carson

Carson: I‘ve been thinking, I’m basically an adult now. I should be able to go wherever and do whatever, just like my siblings did as teens

Kayleigh: Well I’ve no objection. Get out there if you want to, teenage years are for trying things

Carson: So I can go to a nightclub (flashback to this nonsense)

Kayleigh: If you think you can get in, sure, go for it

Harvey has elected to stay in Sulani for his fishing shift today. While there’s a nice, secluded cove nearby Harvey decides to try out the spot in the bay. He gets some familiar fish and snags a rare bluefin tuna. Of course Bluefin Tuna are endangered so he quickly throws it back.

Kayleigh: How is the house hunt going

Keira: Slow. We’re not sure if we want a small solo place or an apartment

Kayleigh: I can see benefits for both

Keira: Exactly! We’ve got enough for a small place but an apartment could be more discreet

Kayleigh: Well yes and no. In apartments you always have nosy neighbours. Plus there’s the problems of noise

Keira: I guess. I just don’t know if I’m adult enough to handle leaky pipes or fried electronics by myself

Marta: You won’t be by yourself carino, I’ll be there

Keira: Yeah but not all the time, you’ll have work to

Kayleigh: Oh I have an idea. Your dad and I will take Carson out for dinner, and you two can practice being the only ones in the house. I suspect you’ll handle it better than you think.

Marta: How about it carino? Date night at home

Keira: If you’re there it sounds perfect

Previous ... Next

[kaluxsims]

Joining Mesh Edges - Pt. 1

...or something? I've been struggling with what to call this tutorial. "How To Make The Visible Body Parts Line Up With The Clothes So They Don't Clip Or Gap" would be way too long.

I've been meaning to do a tutorial on this for ages, but when I saw @kayleigh-83's frustration in this post, I offered to help. I wanted to have this tutorial up a few days ago, but wound up "needing" to do this other one first. Finding a simple shirt or dress with a lower neckline that wasn't painted on and hadn't already been converted was basically impossible.

The previous tutorial was kind of an "in case this comes up" situation. This one is more of a "best practices" level. You don't _have to_ do this, but it will give better results than leaving a big piece of the body floating around under the clothes. I learned how to do this by looking at meshes by @deedee-sims and seeing how her meshes fitted the body neatly to the clothes. I'm not sure if this is exactly how she does it, but it's what I figured out to get a similar result.

To put it in visual terms, this is a before and after:

This tutorial will not teach you how to convert clothes 4t2. It assumes you have basic Milkshape knowledge. This is probably also an intermediate level tutorial, but I think it's a fairly important thing to learn how to do.

This is usually a neckline thing, but I've done it for other parts too. I'm using a neckline as my example here.

I'm picking up the same maushasi shirt conversion from the Painted-On tutorial, after reshaping it to fit the TS2 body.

It looks a little weird because I shaped it to fit extraextrasuperclose at the waist...for reasons. If it works, you'll see, when it's up for download someday. Disregard that for now.

I start this process by regrouping the body mesh parts that show outside the clothes. I select all faces that have any part of them showing.

After regrouping, I hide the rest of the body. I try not to delete it until I'm sure I don't need to grab any faces I missed.

I could call that close enough, adjust some bone weights, and leave it like this. Plenty of creators do (or used to). I want the best result possible though, so I do some additional work. (With practice, this joining method is faster and easier anyway.)

Because I selected from the front, I grabbed a few faces of the back which I don't need. Selecting them, I can double check that I don't need them. If the red highlight doesn't show above the shirt's neckline, I know I don't need these faces and can delete them.

Know how I said I try not to delete the rest of the body until I know I didn't miss any faces I need? Guess who forgot and deleted it too soon this time!

See what I missed?

Oops. Happens. Not too hard to import the body again and get those missing faces. This is why it's important to check all around though. Dammit.

The back is simpler than the front, so I'm starting there again. I like to get "inside" the mesh when I do this process. It's easier to see what vertices I'm selecting and make sure I don't merge anything extra this way.

The only problem with viewing it from inside is it's harder to tell what's what in wireframe only. (I could right click and select "Draw Backfaces" but I prefer to leave it off.) Highlighting the body group gives me an idea of what I'm working with.

I wind up highlighting the body group like this at various points in the process, to make sure I'm matching edge with edge.

It's important that the clothing group (temporarily named "shirt" in this case) is above the body group in the list. I mess this up on the first vertices so often. Not a big deal to undo and fix the list order, but still. I want the body piece to move to where the clothes piece is, not the other way around.

I usually start in the middle, selecting the center vertex from the clothing piece and the center one from the body.

Using "Vertex Data Merge", I join the body vertex to the clothing vertex. This moves the vertex from the lower listed group to meet the vertex from the one higher up the list. (It also matches bone weights to the upper group's vertex.)

For some reason, I didn't take a screenshot until I'd merged the next few vertices. (Maybe I hit the wrong button? I was tired.) So I drew a few arrows onto the screenshot to show what I've merged.

If you see a gap, don't worry, I'll fix that soon.

I keep selecting and merging vertices until I've matched up all of the back's body edge vertices with the nearest clothing edge vertices.

Those gaps you might have noticed? Now I'll deal with those.

Going back "outside" of the mesh and seeing the work I've done on the back, the gaps are much more obvious.

This happens a lot with 4t2 conversions, because TS4 clothes will almost always be higher poly than the TS2 body. This part of the TS2 AF body mesh has three vertices on either side of the center vertex and this particular shirt has four on either side. I fix this by adding new vertices to the body.

First, I select the vertices on either side of the gap. Then, I hide the clothing group. This leaves just the body vertices on either side of the gap selected.

With ONLY these two vertices selected, I use "Vertex > Divide Edge" to make a new vertex between them.

Dividing the edge also divides the face, so the poly count goes up by one each time this is done. And, as you can see, it makes the new face dark. I'll fix that in a moment. I'm focusing on the gap first.

The new vertex is already selected, I select the nearby clothing vertex, and use Vertex Data Merge.

No more gap on that side!

I repeat this on the other side, to close the other gap.

Now to fix those new faces, I first select the vertices all around them. (Zoom in.)

"Align Normals" fixes the dark areas. (This close to the top of the neck, you have to be ABSOLUTELY sure you DON'T align normals on any of the neck edge vertices.)

Looking at it like this, you can see the body group is already taking the shape of the neckline.

This seems like a good place to end part one. Part two coming soon!

[not-the-apple-pie-please]

Headcanons for Utah

Whoop!!! I'm back again. Headcanons for the Best Snow on Earth, Utah (their words not mine)

(below the cut because it's longer and I feel bad for people's dash.)

Utah was born in the summer of 1850, a month or so before he became an actual territory. He was called Deseret at the time and was nonreligious, lived on a small cattle ranch.

I have a personal headcanon that the LDS church has had a separate personification since the 1830s when they started preaching full time.

LDS himself is the white pressed shirt man with the elder tag and the hate for using "The Lords name in vain". Utah picked it up from him. (LDS lived in New York, Ohio, Illinois, and Missouri before going to Utah.)

Utah was brought up by the LDS church, and as such joined the church when he was still a new being.

He attempted to go on missions to outposts within the state but was shot down because he wasn't "good enough". Basing this completely on the team spirit idea that a personification can't be away from their people for too long, and that they didn't know quite the reach of said territory. (Cred to @icestarphoenix)

During the Utah war and following conflicts with polygamy, Utah himself was not part of the decision. The LDS church had an iron grip on the guy and was calling shots for him.

Utah met The Army in fall of 1857 when he joined the Nauvoo Legion to meet them

Between the 1850s and 1890s was when I HC Utah as taking most of his mission trips.

Utah met his first wife in 1869 after the completion of the transcontinental railroad, a woman named Emma Bradshaw.

Not making a headcanon for her, but Utah was always monogamous. He only had about 3 kids with this union, 1 of which died shortly after being born.

Utah drinks his respect women juice sometimes (has had women's suffrage since the 1870s) (but outlaws abortion so he's been slacking)

Utah became a state in 1896 and his first meeting with the other states was held that same year. I'm inclined to think he was probably excluded from meetings before then because a lot of Mormon policy was seen as Un-American and I have a feeling Gov didn't like the religion controlled territory all too much.

Utah and the National Park Service became good friends in the 30s during the depression, with the creation of the Mighty Five parks.

Utah is a big outdoors person, and likes snowboarding, hiking, rock climbing, and skiing.

During WW2 he managed to join the army and stormed Normandy. Frequently had to go back to his state because of Team spirit stuff.

In the 70s Utah got in trouble with Gov about his racist policies concerning the church, and that is when I headcanon Utah to start to fall away from the church.

Utah never really liked computers all that much when they were being created, but loves the GPS. He doesn't really need it thanks to the grid system, but he holds a certain fondness for the automated voice.

Utah met his second wife, Ilithiya, in November of 2006 and were married in May of 2007. The states were all invited and only like 20-ish came.

All of my headcanons on Ilithiya come from @firsttraintovictoriaville 's work Worth Praying For because she is beautiful and I love that work

Utah's six kids were born as follows: Jaxon(March 21st, 2008) Kayleigh(March 21st, 2008 +3 minutes) Kingsley (September 9th, 2011) Kayden (December 2nd, 2013) Jayden (August 16th, 2015) Brayden (July 30th, 2016)

Utah and the LDS church have weird strained relationship. The LDS (not typing out church every time) has a lot of say in what does and doesn't happen in the state. I see their relationship as a teacher and a student, LDS being the teacher and Utah being the student.

Utah has a lot of issues with church doctrine, mainly on the books of Abraham and JST.

When Utah approached LDS with these issues in the early 70s. LDS was quick to come up with excuses and reasons as to why those concerns were silly and Utah was just being a bad Mormon.

From then on Utah was more of a laid back Mormon, obvi didn't quit the church because he still has the suit and tie, but he doesn't follow every guideline to a T now.

Personally, I don't see Utah as the super ultra "Do you know Jesus loves you?" Guy, but more of a guy who was raised with really strict parents and struggles to venture outside their standards very often because that was how he was raised.

He has a no alcohol policy because Florida, as well as a no coffee policy because Georgia. No tobacco because Mississippi, and no weed because Colorado.

Utah is a big tea person. Not early gray, but herbal teas? All of about them. As a collection of different fruit teas and caffeine free beverages.

He cannot watch movies with any sort of romance or sexy stuff. Turns away from the screen during kissing scenes because it "feels like a violation of privacy".

The kind of person to say "Hate is a strong word 😃" and proceed to complain about a single person for 2 ½ hours.

Utah strikes me as a big dog person. I think he'd have a good dog for kids, like a golden retriever or an Australian shepherd. Just a dog that would be okay to go on adventures but also sit by the kids when they pass out from playing.

Has a Google phone because he hates Apple.

Yeah! Those are all the headcanons I have stored in my noggin. Would love to hear if any one else has any thoughts, or if I wrote something that is just Straight Up Wrong.

Also apologies to anyone offended by the Mormon stuff, I'm an exmo myself and it's kinda venting on my part with that. Totally willing to edit!

[coffee-n-bagels-comic-universe]

Major Updates to My Weird Idea (that includes my Nightside OCs)

Go check my previous post on this - HERE

This is mainly an update for @schizoauthoress , @the--blackdahlia , @spacelizardtrashboys , @enigmaticandunstable and @piratewithvigor and I personally think @nattinngrst might like this.

I went on a trip to the beach yesterday with my parents and my older brother (who I bored and annoyed with this idea and you'll see some of his influence in this here post)

Anything written in italics is meant to be taken as a joke as you read through this wall of text, sending good vibes as always, hope y'all are doing well.

The show is set in Canadian, Texas (real place: Wikipedia). I'm thinking of this show starting in the mid-to-late 90s (1996/1997).

I've managed to do several things with that weird sitcom idea, so, where to start, how about with the three potential titles:

1 - Neighbourhood Watch

2 - First Call

3 - First Round (Which my brother likes)

Here are some options for bar names, starting with the Cop bar:

1 - The Donut Hole

2 - The Roasted Hog (which my big bro suggested)

3 - The Sherriff's Outpost

And the Biker Bar:

1 - The Handlebar Inn

2 - The Steel Horse Saloon

3 - The Rebel Room

Next on the list of updates: Cast additions, character roles and (Finally after 2 days) Names for Everyone!!

I'll start with the Cop Bar's owner & staff:

Rosalina Asturias 'Rosa' (Played by Billie Martinez) an employee of the local cop bar. Didn't grow up in the town, moved here for work.

Violet Croft (Played by Eli Herne) an employee. Grew up in town, never left, has the hots for one of the guys in the local police.

Sunshine Crawford 'Sunny' (Played by Holly Di Antonio) an employee. Grew up in town, left for college and came back.

Roscoe Power 'Ross' (Played by Jimmy Hart) the loudmouth who owns the bar, grew up in town, used to be a car salesman.

Olesya Pavlovsky 'Olivia' (Played by Penelope Voronin) an employee who grew up in town and has immigrant parents, goes by 'Olivia' because she would rather you don't f*** up her actual name.

Winona Vance (Played by Sam Griffin Silver) an employee who moved here from New York, for unknown reasons, and doesn't really understand the small town, everyone knows everyone lifestyle.

Lavender Whittemore (Played by Victoria Lucifarian) an employee who grew up in England but moved to live in America, settled in Canadian, Texas due to her love of westerns.

Next: The Local Police Squad:

Sergeant Valentine Gautier 'Val' (Played by Bret Hart) recently promoted before the series begins but still on patrol duty, watches over his younger brother.

Corporal Buck Morris 'Buckshot' (Played by Davey Boy Smith) the gun loving corporal of the squad and the only one to have both 'work' and 'home' guns.

Captain Napoleon Cooper 'Crazy Cooper' / 'Captain Crazy' (Played by Jim Neidhart) the police captain, recently reassigned to Canadian, Texas as there were rumours abut him which interfered with his work in his previous location.

Officer Duke Gautier (Played by Owen Hart) the young, recently recruited brother of Sgt Gautier, often put on patrol alone to ensure less arguments, but always checked on by his brother.

Next: The Biker Bar's Staff:

Ozzy Rains (Played by Charles Wright) A biker and member of the staff who grew up just outside of town but loves his fellow staff members like family.

Brock Martel (Played by Henry Godwin) a biker and member of the staff who grew up on a local ranch and loves beer, football and the current Mayor's down-to-Earth style.

Vincent Gore 'Vinnie' (Played by Kane) the owner's son and a known fire loving 'freak' often protected by his surrogate family, the bar staff, Vinnie knows no better than 'ooh, cool looking fire' and must be restrained or have his hands swatted away to stop him burning himself trying to touch campfires.

Raven Knight (Played by Kirby Roussimoff) the only female staff member, but also the girl who does all the tough jobs when needed, has a side business of making and selling artwork, such as portraits to locals, has designed some of the bar staff's tattoos.

Harlow Gore (Played by Paul Bearer) the owner of the bar and a loving father to his son, took Murphy (Undertaker) under his wing when they first met and also treats him, and the rest of staff, like family.

Hunter King (Played by Phineas Godwin) Brock's cousin and a member of staff, taught Raven how to shoot a shotgun and his father owns a local tattoo parlour.

Sequoia Reed (Played by Rikishi) an employee and Frankie's (Yokozuna) cousin, also a surrogate cousin to Raven, having been best friends since childhood. Reed loves his job and his staff family and will defend both at any cost.

Lupe Zapatero (Played by Savio Vega) an employee at the bar and possibly the shortest member of staff, towered over by the tallest staff members but is not any less of a fighter because of his size, a former mechanic who loves nothing more than taking things apart and putting them back together while listening to metal / rock.

Murphy Graves (Played By The Undertaker) Manager of the biker bar and an excellent member of staff, has an outlaw rules vibe, as in he would say to the police "Your jurisdiction ends when you walk in my bar." Very protective of the staff, and the owner.

Frankie Wolf (Played by Yokozuna) the most relaxed and laid-back of the staff, Frankie would prefer to be in the kitchen making potential 'Culinary Masterpieces' as he would call them. Sequoia and Raven's (surrogate) cousin, views his staff mates as family.

Next: The Local Band (Named: Exoskeleton Samurai)/College Students

Quinn Thorn (Played by Jeff Hardy) the bassist to Ros' (Lita) vocals / lead Guitar and older brother Garth's (Matt) Drums, a face paint enthusiast and an English major in college who never seems to find time to study, but always has time to date somehow.

Roz Jerome (Played by Lita) the vocals and lead guitar for the band and an art major who actually studies, dating Garth (Matt) and met Quinn through him. Roz also studies Spanish and French.

Garth Thorn (Played by Matt Hardy) Quinn's older brother and the band's drummer, a major in psychology and a horror movie lover, Roz' boyfriend and almost totally devoted to her, even at the cost of his college work.

Next: The Local Townsfolk of Note:

Mayor Robert Sweet (Played by Jim Duggan) rarely seen, but apparently a good man with good ideas, helps out in volunteer projects and absolutely loves the town. Trying his hardest and people know this, and they love him. (did I meme correctly?)

Rusty Jarvis (Played by Mick Foley) the local hippie who has never left town, somehow managing to know both everything and nothing at the same town. (Very Dude Love with hints of Cactus Jack and Mankind) Does know how to fight when he needs to.

Redd Wayne (Played by 'Sycho' Sid Vicious/Justice) the local baseball/softball star, helps out at the local school/college teaching sports and likes Raven's artwork, he watches her draw when he can, runs the local little league & minor league baseball/softball games.

Earl Black (Played by Steve Austin) the most often seen regular at the biker bar, absolutely loves both the bar and the town, a hardworking guy who has befriended the entire staff (including Harlow and Vinnie) of the biker bar.

Lex Aston (Played by The Rock) a local struggling actor, teaching an acting class to pay the bills and an absolute ladies man, and for that reason he goes to the cop bar, to try and pick up one of the bartenders who works there, often favouring Rosa as she will jokingly flirt back.

Finally (for this section): The Degenerates and Their Benefactors:

Reign Yates (Played by Billy Gunn) Leon's (Road Dogg) best friend, often the getaway driver for the group and a scout for locations, often getting all the info on a place before telling Matty (H.H.H) and Dell (HBK). Often leaves town with Leon to get the heat off them. (and make out in secret)

Zelda Hooper (Played by Chyna) the only female degenerate but possibly the toughest, has a rap sheet as big as her arms, not to be trusted when around the other degenerates as she is usually the actual brains of the operation.

Matty Battle (Played by Hunter Hearst Helmsley) the co-leader of the degenerates, often protected by Zelda or Mark (Kevin Nash). does most of the talking but has the piss taken of him for his looks often by either other degenerates or locals who don't care for the degenerates.

Romeo Colombera (Played by Mike Rotundo/I.R.S) the right hand man of the mysterious benefactor, and often the lawyer for the degenerates as well as a taskmaster for them, telling them what the boss wants done and by what date.

Mark Rake (Played by Kevin Nash/Diesel) the tallest degenerate with a rap sheet as long as his leg, a former bouncer at a now closed nightclub, alongside best friend (and possibly boyfriend) Galo (Scott Hall) and now a bodyguard (when needed) for Matty and Dell (HBK, also boyfriends).

Leon Rose (Played by Road Dogg) best friend of Reign and a scout for the group alongside him. Has found every possible way to piss off other townsfolk and often in the most fights because of it, always on the police's radar for one thing or another and constantly leaving town because of it.

Galo Villalobos (Played by Scott Hall/Razor Ramon) the only (supposedly) Latino degenerate, raised in Canadian, Texas but his parents are from Cuba, Galo is a former nightclub bouncer (alongside Mark) Galo is known (for his ability to give minus fucks) as the most relaxed member of the group.

Dell Pain (Played by Shawn Michaels/HBK) the co-leader alongside Matty, a known flirt with people regardless of gender or sexuality, just to piss them off on some occasions. Dell grew up in town, knowing it like the back of his hand.

Giles Rennell (Played by Ted DiBiase) the mysterious benefactor of the group, bailing them out if needed, he stumbled across the group after seeing a police bulletin and decided to use them to cause enough chaos to guarantee a chance in the next mayoral election.

Zac Noel (Played by X-Pac) the shortest and youngest degenerate, Zac is often treated as the child of the group, being taught how to get away with crimes and trick the police into just letting him go by clerical error and tomfoolery.

Next on my list of updates: Season 1's episode list, episode titles, episode synopses, some spoilers, and the revolving door idea a bit further explained.

Series running order:

Biker bar episode

Cops on Patrol episode

Band/College Students episode

Cop bar episode (yes these are different)

Degenerates episode

(last episode of each season/series only) town meeting/town get-together (E.X: town hall meetings, the town getting together for a sports game or barbeque or restaurant opening)

1x01: Insert Coin to Start: The pilot episode of the series sees the local biker bar of Canadian, Texas installing two, brand new, arcade machines. After leaving for the night, the team finds the bar broken into and both machines missing with no evidence or possible suspects to the robbery. The team finds the machines relatively undamaged in an alleyway nearby. By the end of the episode there's still no suspects. B plot includes an argument between father and son, Harlow and Vincent which ends when Murphy gets involved.

1x02: Hot Pursuit: Newly instated chief of police Chief Cooper [Neidhart] makes changes to the patrol teams before tasking them with looking for any persons involved with (1x01)'s robbery and break-in, leading to a high speed chase later in the episode. B plot includes the squad coming to grips with the new, and much crazier, police chief.

1x03: Making Noise: Local band Exoskeleton Samurai [Team Extreme] are writing new music late at night while Roz [Lita] tries to study for a class the following day but, during a moment of quiet, they hear a break in a couple of doors down and attempt to see who it is. The group get a glimpse of Zac Noel [X-Pac] and Mark Rake [Nash] but not a full glimpse. Now aware of the local degenerates, the band try and forget about it and focus on their own lives until their apartment gets broken into when they're not there.

1x04: Donuts & Beer: The new cop bar opens on the other side of town, serving mainly (both savoury and sweet) bagels and donuts as well as beer (on tap and bottled), the fact it's slightly more risqué gets (both good and bad) attention on the place. Winona Vance [Sam] gets in a fight with Zac Noel [X-Pac] as she's locking up. Winona [Sam] being put in the hospital with a broken arm makes the rest of [Cop Bar]'s staff double down on getting justice for the near break-in.

1x05: Dirty Work: The first episode from the degenerates perspective. The degenerates are just causing general problems for the town without reason because it's fun' but it's quickly losing their interest as the heat on them rises. The end of the episode has Matty Battle [Triple H] receiving a call from 'Mister R' [DiBiase] offering him a deal.

1x06: Blue & Black: A brawl breaks out at [Biker Bar] following whispers that the people who broke in are in the building. The bikers who work at the bar threaten to hurt anyone who works for the rival bar if they try and mess with business while in the biker bar.

1x07: Captain Crazy: A rumour that the current captain was moved location and promoted to smooth over allegations that he may not be fully sane, Officer Duke Gautier [Owen] is determined to find the truth while Sergeant Valentine Gautier [Bret] and Corporal Buck Morris [Davey Boy] are determined to keep the peace and catch the local degenerates.

1x08: Broken Strings: following an argument with an ex girlfriend Quinn Thorn [Jeff] finds his guitar smashed and has to work odd jobs to buy another one (starting a potential series c plot). Garth Thorn [Matt] ends up in a fight with Galo Villalobos [Hall] which ends when Roz Jerome [Lita] smashes a table leg over the back of Galo's [Scott's] head, knocking him out and giving him over to the police.

1x09: Badges & Bottle Tops: Captain Cooper [Neidhart] stops by [cop bar] to talk with owner Roscoe Power [Jimmy Hart]. Meanwhile the Gautier boys [Owen & Bret] interrogate Galo Villalobos [Scott Hall] about what the degenerates are doing and why, getting no information about the mysterious benefactor over than he pays them a lot of money depending on what they do.

1x10: Paid off: The mysterious benefactor 'Mister R' [DiBiase] pays Galo's [Scott's] bail, getting him free for a while but side-lining him too. The benefactor remains hidden in shadow but Matty & Dell [Triple H & HBK] have a meeting with him to discuss money and the next job.

1x11: Written in Ink: the tattooed bikers on the staff encourage regular customer Earl Black [Austin] to get a skull tattoo on his back and even take him with them to the tattoo parlour they frequent, finding it to be burned to the ground with a 'freaks get lost' sign planted in the wreckage. Murphy Graves [Undertaker] dismisses the rumours that the arsonist is the fire fascinated Vincent Gore [Kane] and even gives him an alibi when the cops come looking for answers, putting blame on someone in town who knows about Vinnie's [Kane's] love of fire, which is nearly every person in town.

1x12: Sergeant Heartbreaker: Sergeant Gautier [Bret] is accused of flirting with the staff at [Cop bar] leading to a paid two day leave to get heat off of him while he's ordered to remain at home. Officer Gautier [Owen] and Corporal Morris [Davey Boy] are put on patrol together, leading to a high speed chase of Reign Yates, Leon Rose & Zelda Hooper [Gunn, Road Dogg & Chyna] after witnessing a mugging, assault and graffiti from the trio, the cops eventually lose them down a back road on private Giles Rennell's [DiBiase's] land they would need a warrant for.

1x13: Failing Grade: Quinn's [Jeff's] lack of sleep leads to him getting a fail on an test forcing him to do the semester again. Enraged by this Quinn [Jeff] considers leaving the school but is encouraged to continue following Garth [Matt] ending up in hospital following [1x12]'s assault and mugging on Garth & Roz [Matt & Lita].

1x14: Microphones & Megaphones: [cop bar]'s owner Roscoe Power [Jimmy Hart] installs a stage for local acts in the bar, leading to Violet Croft [Eli] performing later that episode (the closing of the episode into the credits) and the night before the first performance the bar is covered in graffiti, leading to a massive clean up effort from the staff and local volunteers (like Mick Foley & The Rock).

1x15: Trench Warfare: Romeo Colombera [IRS] the benefactor's [DiBiase's] right hand man and go-to lawyer gives the degenerates an list of jobs, run the police chief out of town by the end of the year, run the bikers out of town, and ensure that 'Mister R' [DiBiase] the benefactor wins the next mayoral election.

1x16: Fuelling Up: after closing up [biker bar] Raven Knight [Kirby] narrowly avoids being burned by her motorbike exploding in a ball of fire. Her boss, Harlow Gore [Bearer] tells her to take the week off, leading to her coming into the bar and sitting at the back of the bar, sketching the regular customers and having a long conversation with local sports star Redd Wayne [Sid].

1x17: Brothers in Arms: Together: the Gautier brothers [Bret & Owen] are put on patrol together leading to the arrest of Zelda, Matty & Dell [Chyna, Triple H & HBK] before the trio are bailed out, the brothers interrogate Dell Pain [HBK] (leading to a very 'basic instinct'-esque scene with Shawn in assless chaps and boxer briefs) who gives them no information on their behaviour and why they are doing the things they've done.

1x18: Night Time Fun: the band attends a college party, unknowingly with Zac Noel [X-Pac] also in attendance, leading to the trio being high and drunk and the Thorn brothers [Matt & Jeff] end up in a fight, almost being thrown out of college entirely for their actions the next morning.

1x19: Head or Hart: Violet Croft [Eli] and (officer) Duke Gautier [Owen] meet properly for the first time on a blind date, leading to them walking through the streets of Canadian, Texas at night. The date is quickly ended after Duke [Owen] spots Leon Rose [Road Dogg] spray painting [cop bar] and gives chase after handing Violet [Eli] his number.

1x20: Grunt Work: The degenerates have a group meeting about how to sabotage the town meeting, leading to Rennell [DiBiase] coming out of the shadows to lead the degenerates in a coordinated attack on the town hall. Leading to the degenerates waiting until the town meeting to begin the next day.

1x21: Town Meeting: Mayor Robert Sweet [Duggan] conducts a town meeting, leading to everyone airing their grievances with the degenerates recent spree of activity. At the end of the meeting, paint bombs hidden above the townsfolk go off all at once, covering everyone in bright, almost neon, green paint.

[abraxos-is-toothless]

white lights and tiny blonde angels

This is my @aftgexchange Fall 2021 piece for @lyndiscealin

I’ve been at work all week so I had to wait to post this today and then tumblr wouldn’t let me. This is all from an edit in my drafts, but a moment ago, tumblr let me post half of the fic. This is a new post with that first half and then the second will hopefully go up sometime tomorrow.

I am so sorry for this delay but work is work I’m afraid. I loved your long prompt so I’ve made a note of that one to fingers crossed, try and write as a gift for you. I went with this time Neil getting hurt though you won’t have a proper ending yet. Hope you like it!!!

Neil thought going for his run an hour or so before sunset on Halloween was a brilliant idea.

How wrong he was.

The streets were clear of kids at this time of the day, the sky not yet dark enough to create that added fear factor of walking around in creepy costumes and asking strangers for sweets. Neil frowned as he slowed his pace to side step an old lady walking her yappy dog. She gave him a little smile which he returned politely before picking back up some speed. He and Kevin, his adoptive brother, had not long moved to Palmetto and he was still unsure of the areas surrounding their apartment. Their dad, David Wymack, had moved out here years ago after they had both finished high school and were going to college in Boston. He’d only stayed out near Baltimore to not upend either Kevin or Neil’s lives, but once his boys were no longer at home, he took up a coaching position at PSU. Neil couldn’t blame him for wanting to move away; he suspected living in a place that no longer housed his deceased wife was hard. But he’d done it for them. Because he loved them.

He was happier out here now, loving his job, his new house with quiet neighbours, and he was in a new relationship with his team’s nurse, Abigail Winfield. They’d been together for a few years now, but Neil hadn't been able to meet her in person until they'd moved here. He remembered the video call coming through while he was in his college dorm room one day, his roommate Matt Boyd had not been in the room at the time. His dad had looked nervous, and it was weird for Neil not to see him,as his usual stoic self. When he’d asked Neil if it was okay for him to start seeing another woman, he had been confused. He and Kayleigh had only adopted a year before cancer had quickly taken his adoptive mother away from him. Still, his dad refused to let Abby into their lives unless both he and Kevin were fine with it. Neil had laughed as if someone had told him a joke, because of course it was fine. Since then, the woman would call them every week, fretting and fussing as any mother would. She was very excited to have them living so close now, and Neil smiled at the memory of her excitement a month or so back when he and Kevin said they were moving out to Palmetto. Kevin to work alongside their dad as an assistant coach, and Neil to join PSU as one on one Math tutor.

He was brought out of his reverie to the loud scuffling of shoes over gravel, loud enough to be heard over the music coming through his ear phones. He halted to a stop, pulling them out. Getting lost in his own head had caused him to go off of his usual route around the block. It was down a slightly darker, more rougher looking street, a few shifty looking people making their way into a run down apartment building. He suspected it was one of the small drug outlets for a town like this. The scuffling happened again but louder this time, and more importantly, it was closer. He turned on his heel looking behind him but he couldn’t see anything other than the flicker of street lights kicking in. He pulled out his phone, intent on calling Kevin, seeing as his brother was going to be on his way home from their dad’s place when he felt hot breath at his neck, and words whispered in his ear that he had not heard since he was a child.

“Hello there Junior.”

Neil spun away only to be gripped tightly on his biceps by strong hands and pushed further into a dark alley between two buildings, stumbling over his own feet and falling face first, He barely had time to use his hands to break the fall, pain spiking as the ground tore at the skin of his palms. “Now Nathaniel, is that any way to greet old friends? By trying to run away?” Romero Malcom’s low drawl made him freeze up, twisting to face both of his attackers slowly. The other man’s face was an angry sneer, seeming satisfied with the sight of Neil laying at his feet. Lola, however, was manic and almost feral looking. There was a knife in one of her hands, the fingers of her other running across the blade.

“You helped put Nathan in that hell hole, and a few days ago, someone from the inside did him in. They killed him and now you’re going to pay for a life that shouldn’t have been taken so soon.”

Neil laughed at that information, that Nathan was dead and gone, finally, and he didn’t stop laughing even as the two advanced on him.

He stuttered, when a cold blade met the skin of his cheek, cutting deep but he still laughed.

He laughed still when they dragged him deeper into the alley by his hair.

And he laughed through broken screams when Lola took a lighter to his face and arms, and Romero buried a knife in his abdomen.

He laughed and laughed and laughed as the world went dark.

oOoOo

Neil came around again, lying flat on his back and staring at the stars, stones digging into his sling. His body was on fire, pain radiating everywhere. He lifted a shaking and brutalised hand, pressing it to his lower stomach. Blood seeped through between his fingers, and his shirt was soaked through from more than just sweat. He was pretty sure he’d been lying in a pool of his own blood for a while.

He turned his head, finding his phone smashed to pieces a few feet away. Neil cursed under his breath. He tried opening his mouth to call out for help, but stopped instantly when he pulled at the wounds on his face, feeling blood run down his cheeks. His other hand shifted, fingers twitching against something rough. When Neil managed to look down again, there was a much larger rock next to him. He grabbed at it, ignoring the way the burns on his knuckles screamed in protest. With all the strength he could muster, he banged that rock against a trash can that had fallen over to his left.

He didn’t stop even when his eyes started to close.

He was just so tired.

oOoOo

There was a murmuring of voices, calling out to him. He told his dad that he just wanted five more minutes. He didn’t have school, it was the weekend.

“Come on, open your eyes dude. I’m not your dad, you’ve been hurt. Can you tell me your name?” Neil blinked slowly against a bright light. Oh, he knew this light, that light you saw right at the end. He didn’t want to die yet.

“You’re not going to die. An ambulance is on the way, but you gotta keep those eyes open.” He blinked again and realised he was seeing double. Two tiny blonde people hovering over him. The light gave them halos. How lovely. “Your vision is fine, and we’re not your angels. My brother is currently keeping pressure on that stab wound.”

Right. Lola. Romero.

Oh god Kevin was probably losing his damn mind. His dad and Abby too. He always called at the same time every day, always. “My dad, he…” he tried to move but screamed in agony. Neil relented to the hand pushing him back down. “I want my dad. Phone broke.”

He heard sirens getting closer, and the tiny blonde bear his head disappeared. The one with his hands on Neil’s stomach shifted so Neil could see him. “Whoever did this, they did quite the number in your face.” Neil flinched, because he just knew Abby was going to have a meltdown when she saw him. “Hey. You’re still attractive there, under all this grime. If I’d met you under different circumstances, I might have tried to bring you home with me.” Neil coughed, it wet and made him ache so much worse.

“I’m not, not…”

“Don’t talk anymore. You’ll hurt yourself. You can shut me down later. Name is Andrew. Do you want to tell me yours now, so I can give something to the paramedics who are coming over?”

“Neil. Is Neil.” His head spun and there were the heavy sounds of people running towards him.

And then he was out again.

oOoOo

Everything was white. Oh so very white. Machines were beeping and there was something attached to his hand. It was itchy. Out. He should take it out and the bad itchy itch would go away. Before he could pull on the offending item, a warm strong hand wrapped around his own. “That’s there for a reason, you know.”

He wanted to explain to the stranger about the big bad itch, but his mouth was as dry as a goddamn desert. “Wa…” the words cut off when bandages pulled at sore skin and he hissed.

“You can have ice chips.” Neil tried to force himself to sit up at the other voice, eyes running around the room. “Stop that, you’ll pull your stitches. Do you want to start bleeding out again?”

“Aaron, stop. Go see if his family has turned up yet.” The tiny blonde by the door, Aaron, huffed and disappeared from the room. Neil looked around again, realising he was in a hospital room. He turned his head to the other tiny blonde who had come closer, gently trying to feed him a tiny piece of ice. After one or two pieces, he waved one of his hands about, and the other man retreated. He sat in a chair by Neil’s bed.

“Wha’ ‘appened?” His words were a little slurred, but at least his tongue was no longer stuck to the roof of his mouth.

“My brother and I were on our way to meet our cousin when we could hear banging. Thought it was just some kids messing around for Halloween, but it was a constant sound, a repetitive tone. We followed it and found you lying there nearly dead.”

Ah yes. It was assaulted with an onslaught of images then. Lola and her lighter, Romero breaking his phone so he couldn’t call for help. They’d intended to let him bleed out and die, right there in that alley, alone. Neil’s breath hitched and one of the monitors started beeping rapidly. Kevin and his dad and Abby, they wouldn’t have known. They would have had some cop knock on the door to say he wasn’t coming home. The blonde man beside him, who Neil remembered had said his name was Andrew, went to press a button by his bed when a group of people stormed into the room.

His panic dissipated at the sight of his family standing there, looking haggard but so full of relief. “Jesus Christ. What the hell have they done to you?” It was Kevin who spoke but his dad was the first to the side of his bed. David Wymack was not a man who liked when his kids were put into harm's way.

“You didn’t call. You scared the hell out of us, kiddo.”

Neil smiled as much as he could. “I’m okay.” There was some more shuffling and Neil could see the two blondes who’d helped him trying to slip out of the room as his family crowded around him. “Wait.” The two meant stopped, both a mirror of the other with the way they had their hands in their pockets, and Neil also realised they were in blue scrubs. Probably Neil’s fault from all the blood he’d lost. They turned, Aaron flicking his eyes between everyone in the room but Andrew, the one who thought him attractive for some reason, only had eyes for Neil. “Thanks for saving my life.” Aaron simply nodded and turned to walk out of the door but Andrew didn’t follow immediately. He smiled at Neil, just a little one but a smile nonetheless.

“You can thank me with coffee when you’re all healed up. Number is on the table. You never did get to shut me down.” He winked and gave a two finger salute before disappearing to follow his brother.

“Only you, son, could say you had your first dating experience by almost dying.”

“What?”

Abby came over to run her fingers through his hair checking him over. “Ignore your father. You don’t need to worry about anything right now. We’ll talk about the birds and the bees later.”

Kevin laughed, but not as loud and hearty as he would usually, when Neil frowned. He gripped Neil’s knee under his blankets tightly, the only part of him that didn’t feel like it was on fire. “So oblivious, baby bro. It’ll make sense soon enough.”

Underneath all of their relief and happiness, Neil felt like they were all a bit too smug. As if they knew some secret that he didn’t.

He pushed it all aside to figure it out at a later date.

Right now, he was just glad to be alive and kicking.

[roleplayfinder]

Hi, everyone! My name is Kayleigh. I am a literate 18+ RPer looking for fellow literate 18+ RPers in order to( you guessed it )RP over Discord. Triggers and NSFW topics will be discussed immediately after we start interacting so that boundaries are in place. I’m based in the Eastern Timezone, not picky about much of the general stuff, have 7( ? ) years of experience in RP altogether, am not comfortable with doing doubles from the first interaction( though we can potentially have multiple RPs in one server after getting comfortable with one another ), will only play females, and the fandoms that I am looking for at the moment-though most of them might be long shots-include...

One Tree Hill: I am DYING for someone to play Nathan Scott against my Haley James-Scott. I have about 4 years of experience playing Haley altogether and am looking for someone who is just as passionate about Naley, both as individuals and as a couple, as I am. I also have an OC for Nathan and one for Lucas, so, if anyone would like to try those out, just lmk.

This is Us: I have an OC that I’ve come up with for the show. This OC, without giving too much away, had a complicated home life in her youth and, therefore, spent most of her time with the Pearsons. As a result, she has really interesting dynamics with each of them. There is much more to her backstory and going forward if you’re interested, but I am looking to ship her with Kevin and, so, anyone playing him would be great. Though I’m literally begging for anyone to RP this show with at all, tbh XD

Newsies: I’m mostly referring to the 1992 movie here. That’s really where my comfort zone is, tbh. I have two OCs, one for Jack and one for David, or can play Sarah if I give her a bit more personality. We can discuss all of that when we actually start talking, I believe.

Disney/Nickelodeon: So, I understand that this one is slightly weird, but it’s honestly more of a comfort RP than anything. And I want to go a bit deeper than just a show or movie on Disney; like the characters will be allowed to cuss and go through ‘ real life ‘ shit and stuff. That’s actually the only way I’m willing to play it, as it’s the most creatively-freeing for me, personally. But it won’t be too bad; it all just depends on what we’re both comfortable with. Anyway, I’m mostly an early 2000s girl, so, approach me with anything from that era and we might be able to work something out, but I really wanna play Layla Williams against Warren Peace from Sky High because I just recently rewatched that movie with more mature eyes and it’s occurred to me that they should’ve been endgame all along. I’m also open to playing Gabriella Montez from HSM, though. Anyway… 

 Bonnie and Clyde Musical: So, for this, I am looking to play Bonnie Parker and am searching for a Clyde Barrow. Jeremy Jordan and Laura Osnes is just probably my favorite combination in the whole world, tbh. I’ve had a few weird dreams lately that have inspired me to break back into the fandom. Obviously, I’m mostly taking from the musical with this, but you can sprinkle in some irl things if you wish. I may or may not.

I think that’s it? Basically? I love fluff( ESPECIALLY domestic fluff ), angst, and AUs. Being open to NSFW would be preferred, but is not required. I love hearing your ideas, coming up with some together, and chatting OOC. I want this to be a comfortable, chill, and fun experience for both of us, and will respect anything that will make it that way for you. I think that’s it. My discord is Haley#8989. You can either message me on there or like/interact with this post and I will get back to you ASAP.

[cracknoir]

headcanons: 

there were A LOT more members of The Gang back in the day. Most of them are dead. Kind of why so many of my characters are dead in canon, lbr this really is the Jimmy Show and the rest are just side-characters

little jake’s probably depressed, doesn’t realize

on the same note, jack has a lot of trouble sleeping

,jimmy liked fucking other peoples wives, if you asked him why he did this he’s tell you it was psychological warfare but really it was a power thing. also i said “liked” cos that would be pre zoe dying. when he comes back to new york, he sees sex as a waste of time, he has sex three times over the course of two years in the test-run novel thing i did. 

that said, as a part two to the above, when he came back to new york after a while he did actually get into a pretty healthy relationship, right up until he ended up killing her dad

this isn’t really a headcanon, more just me relaying the characters history bc i don’t think it’s actually on this blog, but alex served in iraq

bruce goes on 4chan

not really a headcanon but i was watching this youtube video were they read out reviews of strip clubs or something and one of them said something like “and the bartender always has her derelict boyfriend hanging around” and how fucking good is derelict for a descriptor of a person. im deffo gonna use that at some point and u should too. it would make me very happy

jack and little jake play fifa on ps4 regularly 

jack’s apartment is tiny, one bedroom, “spider”, his elusive room-mate, is meant to have the bedroom - hence why jack has a sofa-bed, but since Spider’s never around jack keeps all his clothes in there, in a big rumpled pile 

molly has a lot of fairy lights in her bedroom 

why have i never been interested in aus??? because everything is always canon forever. like, my marvel verse is just jimmy sometimes gets beat up by daredevil and that’s about the only difference

molly preferred weapon is an uzi, she also carries knuckle dusters

little jake bites his fingernails

jack regularly goes to the beach just to skim rocks. he also loves fishing but rarely gets a chance to do it. the americans don’t think twice about driving two hours but jack sure as hell does. he has tried fishing the hudson but it only served to depress him 

oliver was a cowboy before he turned into a skinwalker. he was lost to the madness in the mountains. i’ll probs flesh this out a bit further if i ever write that spooky cowboy thing i’ve been wanting to 

if u want jimmy to do something for u, money ain’t the way to get him to do it. he’ll usually ask for a favor

kayleigh’s killed a few people, but she never killed anyone before she moved to america, and she’s only ever done it in self defense/self preservation -- she has also killed to save the lives of members of the gang

satan can be killed, but a person couldn’t do it

jimmy will smoke meth don’t test him 

brad really fooled dmitri into thinking he was an ally. took him fucking years to gain his trust. rasputin saw straight through him and tried to choke him to death. 

jimmy’s default ringtone is sex noises, but he usually has his phone on vibrate 

mollys apartment is shitty on the outside but really nice inside. she’s never moved, but always put her money into doing up her apartment. 

im heavy regretting calling molly molly because she loves molly and it feels weird having american characters say ecstasy instead of molly so that the sentences dont read like molly loves molly. like i called her molly cos she loves molly. i fucked it.  

its been so fucking hot here the past couple days why am i melting 

buck has a boxing name but idk what it is. was thinking buck the bruiser but that’s kinda shit 

all my characters have a severe case of swamp ass 

bruce talks to himself a lot. 

bruce loves the cheesecake donuts from dunkin donuts. spends a lot of time down there with crooked cops 

been thinkin a lot about space lately and how big things are. been thinkin a lot about trees 

i have no idea how im gonna do it but i have a swamp monster character called flower and i really want to rp her but like it’s annoying cos i can see what she looks like and there’s nothing i could icon that would even come close. could maybe icon the swamp-thing tv series but like,,,, it ain’t right 

[callmeblake]

Frank Iero, New York, NY, June 2019 (X)

Aug 29, 2019, 09:10am

Frank Iero May Just Be His Own Puppet Master

Photo Credit: Audrey Lew

Interview below the cut

Derek Scancarelli

Contributor

Hollywood & Entertainment

I am a music journalist living in New York City.

Frank Iero is breathing deeply and fighting off nausea. This isn’t uncommon for the 37-year-old guitarist and vocalist, given his predilection for debilitating anxiety. But on this occasion, it isn’t pre-show jitters.

“Oh my god, I hate this f*cking boat,” Iero says, as the docked vessel on which he sits knocks against a pier in the Lower East Side of Manhattan. Iero and his band, The Future Violents, just finished an intimate Saturday matinee show as fans sweat, sang and caught a glimpse of the Statue of Liberty.

It had been about 16 years since Iero and his now defunct band, My Chemical Romance (the band broke up in 2013), first performed on water. In July of 2002, the band released its debut album, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. In October of 2003, the soon-to-be emo heroes performed alongside New York Hardcore legends Sick Of It All at an aquatic gig booked by New Jersey college radio station WSOU. And in June of 2004, My Chemical Romance released Three Cheers for Sweet Revenge, the band’s platinum-selling breakthrough record. In a matter of two years, Iero’s life changed dramatically.

In 2019, Iero still hasn’t found his sea legs, but a lot more has changed. He’s fathered three children, released three full-length solo records (including 2019’s Barriers), and survived a near-death experience. And as he gets older, he finds truth in life’s greatest clichés.

“Time flies, it just screams by,” Iero says. “You think you’re appreciating the time, but it’s easy to take it for granted. It’s a shame.”

But Iero is trying his hardest to pay attention to the little things, especially when it comes to family. He and his wife, Jamia, have three children together: nine-year-old twin daughters, Cherry and Lily, and a seven-year-old son named Miles.

“It’s wonderful to see them evolve and come into their own,” Iero says. “But it’s funny how personalities are innate. We shape the way they experience things or teach them the ropes, but for the most part, I’ve found that we are who we are when we’re born.”

From the start, Iero has seen an even split in the twins’ personalities. Cherry, he says, most behaves like her mother, whereas Lily possesses her father’s attitude.

“Some of the sh*t I hear coming out of my daughter's mouth,” Iero says laughing. “My God! It’s stuff I think but never say — they don't know to be ashamed yet! It's amazing and honest and pure. And I know exactly where she's coming from because I feel the same way.”

As part of fostering a relationship of trust and honesty, Iero has been age-appropriately transparent with his kids about the 2016 accident that almost killed him, his brother-in-law and guitarist Evan Nestor and his manager Paul Clegg.

While unloading gear from their van in Sydney, Australia, a city bus crashed into the group and their vehicle. In a 2017 interview with MTV, Iero recounted, in vivid detail, the moment he was dragged underneath the bumper of the bus, the screams of his brother-in-law, and the blood pooling from his manager.

Although Iero was able to walk into an ambulance carrying one of his friends, the scene was a spectacle overrun with emergency personnel — they even landed a rescue helicopter in nearby Hyde Park. Despite serious injuries, amazingly, there were no fatalities.

When Iero returned home from the hospital, he explained to his children that he was in a car accident, but that it was a singular freak incident.

“You don't want to lie,” he says. “They're getting older. Their friends and their parents are on the internet. They're asking questions. It does get back to them.”

Iero was as honest as possible, but avoided any gory details. He was also conscious that it wouldn’t be long before he would travel for work again — and he didn’t want to scare his kids any further.

Almost four years later, residual damage from the crash is impossible to ignore. Nestor has nerve damage in his leg that may never be corrected. Clegg’s leg and knee have undergone multiple surgeries, but are in poor shape. And Iero still has a tear in his shoulder that hurts every time he plays the guitar. Despite the pain, he’s afraid to undergo surgery.

“I was lucky enough to walk away and still play,” Iero says. “If I were to test fate again and go under the knife, if something were to go wrong… to let that be taken from me … no, I can't.”

On some days, the emotional toll of surviving such a traumatic accident weighs more heavily. Iero describes his recovery as non-linear: some days he feels collected and in control, other days the memory rushes back into his mind.

After his new band finished recording Barriers, Iero and his team went back to Australia for appointments pertaining to the accident and corresponding litigation. As soon as he exited the plane, Iero felt like he’d returned to the horrific scene. For the following week, he was barraged by an unending state of panic.

“You go through these instances of PTSD,” he says. “You never know what's going to trigger and send you all the way back to the beginning with recovery.”

Iero greatly underestimated how difficult his return to Australia would be. When navigating to a doctor’s office near where the accident occurred, he couldn’t bring himself to walk down the street. And suddenly, he felt surrounded by buses.

“I don't know if this is true,” he says. “But it felt like every other car on the street was one of these f*cking buses. They were everywhere. It was frightening. I couldn't do anything. I was shaking like a leaf.”

Despite the traumatic flashbacks, Iero continues to reflect on that day. In the promotional run for Barriers, he discussed the accident at length. And on the record itself, he addresses the complicated ripple effect it’s had on his entire sense of self.

“I don't think it needs to define me,” Iero says. “But it was something I needed to talk about on this record. It's not something I could sweep under the rug. But do I want to dwell on it every day and relive it? No. But I think about it constantly. I feel the pain constantly. It's on my mind.”

In recent interviews, Iero has tended to frame a few philosophical takeaways from his ordeal. In simple terms, the first idea is that he’s found a new lease on life — that everything happens for a reason and he’s been given an opportunity to seize the day. The second philosophy is much darker, a sort of survivor’s guilt compounded with fear and existential dread. The third and most abstract consideration is closest to Simulation Theory — where Iero has the ability to control his own artificial timeline.

Sometimes, Iero questions if actually died that day. He wonders: Is this all real?

“It’s hard. No one can tell you what to believe,” he says. “But you come to this realization, ‘Well, this is real to me, the hand I was dealt, so I have to make the best of it!’”

Through the acceptance of uncertainty, Iero surmises that he just may be his own puppet master.

“If this is a figment of my imagination,” Iero says. “If this is all in my head, then I am the master of my own destiny. If I want to do something, I can manufacture it. And if it's not the case, then at least it's a self-fulfilling prophecy. Maybe putting positive vibes out into the universe is beneficial. If we didn't make it and we're just going through this weird labyrinth in my mind, I can do anything I want.”

And lately, he’s been doing just that. Call it sorcery or the power of positive thinking, but Iero is motivated. For Barriers, he was able to assemble a dream band, The Future Violents (different lineups of his backing band have previously gone by The Cellabration and The Patience), featuring his brother-in-law Nestor on guitar, Thursday’s Tucker Rule on drums, Murder by Death’s Matt Armstrong on bass, and Kayleigh Goldsworthy on keyboard.

The theme of the album — and his own internal dialogue — mostly relates to tragedy and timing. Did the universe have a course set out for him? Or was he just some random victim?

“The crazy thing is that you didn't do anything wrong,” Iero says of the accident. “Yet, all of this stuff was taken from you and you have to make these decisions. You get angry a lot.”

He continues: “These random, abrupt, violent actions. Do they happen to us? Or for us? I wouldn't have been able to make this record if it didn't happen. And it made me realize a lot of things about myself. Am I happy it happened? No. But I'm happy where I am right now.”

Iero views Barriers as an exercise in vulnerability. If the aftermath of his accident taught him anything, it’s that success was meaningless to his character, but adversity helped him grow. For the first time, addressing childhood trauma helped Iero expose himself in a way that felt freeing.

“When you put something to song, it gives that memory weight,” Iero explains. “If you never talk about it, it's almost like it didn't happen. There's a fine line between relinquishing that power to this memory, situation or trauma, or holding that power over it and creating your own narrative from it.”

Barriers also intertwines Iero’s childhood experiences with his current perspective as a father. This go around, he felt comfortable writing about his parents’ divorce — the couple split when he was three and divorced when he was seven.

He looks back on the unpleasantness of the process and his consequential understanding of his mother’s issues with addiction, depression and mental illness. On his 2016 record, Parachutes, Iero first referenced his mother’s struggles and his own liability to inherit her traits. He’s still horrified by the idea of predeterminism.

“When you're a young kid being surrounded with it, it doesn't feel right,” Iero says. “You're not happy. You're scared. You're constantly concerned for your parent. It’s almost as if you become the caregiver.”

He continues: “Then you see yourself falling into these patterns that you were witness to and maybe in a roundabout way were taught. That addiction, that depression, runs through you. It's easy to fall off that cliff. I don't want that for my kids and I need to stop this cycle. Like this sh*t stops with me. Whether it be I get okay, or I f*cking turn my lights out.”

It’s this sort of tongue-in-cheek use of concerning language that keeps Iero’s fanbase enthralled, yet somewhat on edge. Take for example, in the comment section for his video “Young & Doomed,” some diehard fans are troubled by his repeated use of the words “hurt myself again.” While he’s surprised to hear about the response, he counters that the record is ultimately meant to feel uplifting and positive, even if addressing dark topics.

“I don't think that we should strive for perfection,” Iero says. “This idea that we should all have this perfect life and be pretty and purse our lips to post a picture on social media is bullsh*t. The things that make us unique are important.”

He continues: “Sometimes we're our own worst enemies and we hurt ourselves. Those scars, though, are important. They're beautiful. ‘Young And Doomed’ is a call to arms to celebrate the things people think are wrong with us.”

Now, Iero just hopes his story and music inspire fans to try, fail and try again.

“You don't find out who you are unless you get a scar and get hurt,” Iero says. “You should be hurt, hurt other people, and learn that it feels terrible to hurt someone else. You should feel sorry for it and make amends for it. These are important lessons to be a better person. You find out who you truly are by attacking things that scare you the most.”

Frank Iero is currently touring Europe with Laura Jane Grace & The Devouring Mothers.

[sanderssides-springfling]

for @jadelikestodraw

Synopsis

Roman is a ballerina, and an advanced one at that. One day a teacher pushes him too hard during cheer practise and he is left to pick up the pieces of a potentially career ruining injury with only the help of his twin Remus.

Story

“One, two, three four, five, six, seven, eight. Point your toes Roman! Really lift that back foot Jessica! …two, three, four, Get ready, and finish!” Roman stood, posed and panting, but not letting his face drop before Ms Alex said. “Alright guys, great last runthrough, this is really coming together.” He let his arm drop, and sat on the floor for a minute with his head in between his knees before getting up off the floor. Everyone else was filing out of the studio, saying their farewells to Ms Alex, and promising to practice. Roman pulled some sweatpants on over his tights, and a coat over his t-shirt. He knew Remus would be waiting for him, and they didn’t like waiting. 

“Thanks Ms Alex, see you tomorrow.” Roman waved as he left, still red in the face from the night’s hard work. 

“Good night Roman, make sure you practise your pirouettes en pointe, I want full turns, not three quarters.” Roman smiled at the critique as he walked out the door, starting to scan the half full car park for Remus. Not yet having seen them, he heard a car honk its horn at him, and instinctively turned to see Remus pulling out of a parking space, ready to take him home. 

“Hey.” Roman jumped in the passenger seat, trying to ignore the cheshire grin on Remus’s face. “What are you smiling at?” He shoved them in the arm when they didn’t stop grinning.

“Oh you know, nothing much.” Their smile widened as they pulled away from the car park. Roman shuffled in his seat. “Nope, you can’t hit me anymore, I’m the driver.” His plans foiled, Roman flipped them off instead. 

“Hey Ree, my favourite twin on the face of the planet?”

“Mcdonalds or KFC?” Remus rolled their eyes.

“Why do you assume that I want you to take me through the drive through, why can’t I just be saying that I love you?” Roman pouted.

“Oh, I’m sorry, I’ll just take you home to the leftover lamb and mushroom stew mum made.”

“Okay I’m sorry, you were right, please take me to Mcdonalds! I can’t eat more of mum’s cooking.” Remus smirked in success.

“Alright, but since I’m your favourite twin, you can buy my food as well.” Roman nodded eagerly, glad to be getting edible food.

“All joking apart though Ree, you really are the best twin ever.”

***

“And what if you don’t get into this school Roman, what will you do then? Because you don’t sound like you have a real plan?” 

“It doesn’t matter what I would do if I didn’t get in, because I am going to get in.” Roman retorted. He hated how his parents would ambush him. Everything about his future was certain, it was planned to a tee, why did they need to continually remind him that they thought he would fail?

“But how can you be sure? What if you got injured? Or you just didn’t make it? There’s a lot of talented dancers out there Roman, dancers who are stronger, more athletic, have better stamina, or better technique than you, and you have no idea how many of the dancers that are better than you are going to be applying to this school when applications open. Get your head out of your ass and realise that life doesn’t dance to your tune.”

“I can’t stand it when you do this! Why can’t you just be encouraging for once in my life? Why do you always have to remind me that you don’t think I’m good enough?” Roman stormed out of the sitting room, and ran up the stairs into Remus’s room.

“What the hell Roman?!” Remus turned around as Roman’s guard fell. “Roman?” Their parents were such dicks.

***

Cheer practise was Roman’s favourite part of the school day. It was the only time he got to spend with Remus, as it was their only shared interest. Luckily, a practice rarely went smoothly, so there was always some sort of gossip to chew on.

That day, the gossip was going to be how Roman would not hold this stunt. It was his fifth attempt in a row that he dropped Kayleigh, and it was starting to get dangerous to her. Not that she ever said that; she was so supportive, encouraging him every time he messed up to try again, and giving him pointers on how he could support her better. After all, it was his job to support her and keep her in the air. On their sixth repetition of the lift, the first half went well. Roman would go as far as to say it went really well. But then, he turned, just as he had the other five times he had done that stunt on that day, and the countless other times he had done that stunt on other days. But unlike all the other days and attempts, something went wrong. He didn’t know what, because in his mind, the timeline went like this: really good first half, turn, blinding pain, he was on the floor and Kayleigh had been caught by the spotter.

He tried to curl into a ball, but pulling his knee to his chest hurt like hell, so he did the next best thing; he got up. Remus was there to support him, but as soon as he was off the mat, Remus sat him back down, not listening to Roman’s arguments. Then the coach was there, inspecting his knee, bending it much farther than was comfortable, but Roman’s head was so consumed with the pain that he couldn’t form the words “ouch that hurts”. Maybe the look on his face told coach and Remus the amount of pain he was in, but Remus disappeared, and came back with painkillers and water. Holding Roman’s hand, they helped him take the pills, before making sure that he took a long drink. 

“Aww, you even got my water bottle!” Roman cooed, eyes wide and teary from the pain.

“You bet I did, no way in hell am I letting your mouth anywhere near my bottle. That’s like indirectly kissing you.” They huffed a small laugh, but the joke seemed to fly over Roman’s head. “I’m gonna have to go bro, we’ve got some practicing to do, but I’ll be back soon, I promise.” They patted Roman on the head before running back onto the mat. Watching the team, his team, do a full out without him made Roman’s heart shatter, and by the time Remus was walking off the mat back towards him, he was pulling himself up on the wall, ready to get back into the routine.

“Ro, where are you going?” Remus joked warily.

“The mat.” Roman gritted his teeth, putting a little pressure on his right leg to see if he could walk on it. 

“Oh no you’re not.” Remus grabbed Roman around the waist, not letting him move, and caught the attention of the coach, who saw Roman standing up and came running over.

“I can do the routine!” Roman half yelled when he saw the coach coming over. “Remus, let go of me!”

“Roman Sanders where the hell do you think you’re going?” The coach barked.

“To the mat. It’s only a sprained ankle, I can still perform.” Both Remus and the coach looked bewildered as they processed Roman calling his injured knee (which was by then the size of a considerable melon) a sprained ankle. 

“Remus?” The coach turned to Remus, who still had their arms wrapped around Roman’s waist. “Take him to the ER.” Remus nodded, and maneuvered his arm under Roman’s shoulders to help him walk.

“Please coach, I’ll be fine, I can still do the routine!” Roman protested, but Remus shushed him as they collected both of their belongings. 

“Ro, please stop fighting this. Something is wrong. Your knee is literally the size of a melon, and you need to go to the emergency room.” Hearing Remus plead with him indicated to Roman how serious they were, as well as how worried, and he hung his head.

“Fine, I’ll go to the emergency room.”

***

“From the MRI scan, it would seem like you have a radial tear in your meniscus.” The doctor said. “This will require physiotherapy, and due to the nature of the tear is also likely to need surgery in the future. In the meantime, Mr Sanders, a nurse will be down soon to bandage your leg, and give you a knee brace, and you will be discharged tonight with some crutches and a prescription for codeine.”

“So, um, this is kind of weird, but will I be able to dance on it?” Roman’s face fell as the doctor shook her head.

“I am terribly sorry, Mr Sanders, but you really should take it easy until you have your surgery, and any sports should be avoided, which sadly includes dancing and cheerleading.” Roman couldn’t speak, so Remus thanked the doctor as she left, before turning to Roman.

“Hey bro, it’s gonna be okay.” They placed a hand on Roman’s and squeezed, letting Roman cry at them until the nurse came to bandage his leg.

When he was discharged, Remus told Roman to wait inside until he brought the car closer to the door, but Roman insisted on going with them, as a chance to get used to using the crutches. “After all,” he joked, “School isn’t the most forgiving place to learn how to walk again.”

In the car on the drive home, Roman was silent. Remus wasn’t feeling ecstatic themselves, but they tried to cheer Roman up, until it became clear that that wasn’t going to happen, at which point they put on the radio and drove the rest of the way home in silence.

Their parents didn’t say anything when they got home from work to see Roman on crutches and a little high on residual morphine from the hospital, but Remus could tell that they were dying to make a quip about how they warned Roman to have a backup for when he failed at dance. They didn’t think that Roman could take being broken down again after everything that had already happened that day. The other thing Remus knew was that Roman still had dance at 7, and that Roman wouldn’t miss it for the world, even though he had been told in no uncertain terms that he wasn’t to dance on his knee. When Remus went to ask if Roman still needed a ride, they found him curled up, or as curled up as one can be with a knee brace, on his bed, crying into the bear they had got him when he first got the lead role in a recital nearly three years ago. 

“So,” Roman looked up, wiping the tears from his cheeks before seeing Remus, and dropping his head back to the pillow. “Do you want to tell Ms Alex in person or over the phone?” Remus sat on the bed next to Roman, and placed their hand on his back before Roman rolled over, looking at them in contemplative silence for a minute.

“What do you think I should do?”

“Do you want honesty, or do you want me to tell you what you want to hear?” 

“Honesty.” Roman muttered, inviting Remus to share their honest opinion. 

“Well then, honestly, I think you owe it to her to tell her in person. Not that it’s your fault, but knowing you, I think you’ll chicken out over the phone. You’ll think you’re a failure and you have to protect the school from your fault.” Roman stayed silent, not knowing how to respond to the brutal honesty. “Now come on, I’ll give you a lift.”

***

When Roman walked into the dance studio still in his cheer uniform, nobody’s heads turned. But when Jessica whispered the word “crutches”, it rippled round the room and everyone was jumping to their feet. In less than a minute, Roman was surrounded by everyone, asking him what had happened, when can he dance again, can he still do the recital. It was almost too much, and Roman was oh so close to turning around and running out the door as fast as he could before Ms Alex saw the commotion. So when he felt the familiar, heavy hand of Remus on his shoulder, there no longer only in spirit to support him, he asked his question:

“Is Ms Alex here?”

Surely enough, the group parted and gestured to the office, with mumbles of “she’s having tea” and “she’s in there”. And as Roman and Remus made their way across the studio, everyone returned to their warm ups, despite their eyes remaining on their injured lead.

Roman’s hand hovered above the door for too long, and he gave a pleading glance to Remus, who acknowledged it with a light knock on the office door. They entered together, and Roman sat in the chair opposite his teacher, whose cheery disposition had turned cold the minute she had seen Roman’s crutches.

“What happened Roman?” Her voice was caring despite the coldness in the room.

“I- It was cheer. I was lifting Kayleigh, and I…” He trailed off, knowing that the story had been conveyed. Ms Alex took a sip of her tea, assessing what question she could ask.

“And what’s the damage?”

“A torn meniscus. No dancing, no cheer, no application for college, and probably surgery, depending on how the physio goes.” He took a deep breath, but it was shaky, and he knew his nerve was failing him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, I should’ve been more careful, the recital is only a month away, and I’ve messed it up for everyone. I’m so sorry.” 

“Remus, would you give me a moment alone with your brother please?” Remus obliged, shutting the office door behind them.

“Now you listen to me Roman, there is absolutely nothing that could have been done to prevent this. Is it unfortunate? Yes! Do I wish it hadn’t happened? You bet your backside! But do I blame you, even in the slightest? Never. This injury is way out of your control, and I would be a bad teacher if I let you continue to blame it on yourself. Oh, and one more thing! Don’t you dare think that you’ve gone and let us down by getting injured. We’re a team, and you have an understudy. You need to focus all of this energy that you’re putting into blaming yourself, and focus it on getting that knee better for next year.” She smiled, letting Roman process everything she had just said. “But, if you ever need something to fill your time in with, the studio door is always open as long as there’s a class on, and the younger pupils would love you to come and help teach.” Roman wiped at his eyes. “You inspire them, y’know. All of you do, but especially you Roman. Do you know how many boys I have in my junior class this year? Eight, and do you know how many of them said they want to be as good of a dancer as you? Every single one of them. You inspire young boys Roman, and even through this hardship, you will continue to be an inspiration to them as you peel yourself up off the ground and continue to fight for your passion.” Roman had no response, but every bone in his body was telling him to get out of that room before he let something slip out and he revealed how scared he was.

“Thank you, Ms Alex. I’ll see you around.” And he left.

As soon as he was out of the studio, he shut down. His muscles were shaking, tears were rolling from his eyes at an alarming rate, and he felt like he needed to hit something. So he punched the wall. Again and again until his knuckles were bloody and his emotions were gone.

“You quite finished? Only I wouldn’t mind getting some food.” Hearing Remus’s voice behind him, so carefree and normal, reignited all of the anger that Roman had managed to extinguish on the wall.

“How dare you? How dare you talk down to me like that? I would give anything to be in your shoes right now! You have no idea how easy you have it, you’re the best on the team in cheer, and mum and dad love you more because you’re the special one that uses they/them pronouns and doesn’t have a gender anymore! You make my life a living hell! I wish I hadn’t been born a twin!” Roman was shaking on his crutches.

“Ro…” Remus’s face had fallen, and their eyes were sheened and ready to burst.

“I don’t want your sympathy! Just leave me alone.” He stormed off. It was the only thing he could think of to stop himself from causing more damage. When he heard the sobs from Remus, he forced himself to keep looking forwards, not to turn back, because if he turned back he would be reminded of how angry he was, and he didn’t want to hurt Remus. He never wanted to hurt Remus. Ever. And now he had, and they would never forgive him. 

***

Remus was frozen. They were hurt, that was definitely a fact, but they didn’t know what to do. Ever since they had started to come out, a process which had taken nearly five years in total, they had faced backlash from nearly everyone. Roman was the one person who never batted an eyelid when a new identity was presented to him.

Remus was gay: cool, probably same?

Remus was asexual: didn’t see that one coming, but I’m glad you trust me enough to tell me.

Remus was questioning: I’m here to support you every step of the way, whatever you need, whatever the outcome.

Remus was non-binary: cool, I have a sibling now! what are your pronouns? Would you explain a little more so I can understand your use of the label? 

Remus was agender: no idea what that one means, but I trust you to explain to me so that I can support you even more. I’m proud of you for coming out.

Remus was demisexual: I’m glad you found a label that you think fits, but I am really running out of ways to encourage my support and love for you every time you come out, so if there’s a next time you may just get a “yay!” but it holds all of my love and support for you as much as any other speech I’ve given you.

But now: now he was saying that through all of their time questioning, through all of the insults and abuse they had faced, and through the rejection from their parents, that they were the lucky one, just because he had a knee injury. Roman never had a problem getting on the cheer squad, because he was male, and he took a male role. But Remus had to fight, when their parents told the school out of spite, they had to fight tooth and nail to get onto that squad, because there’s never been a trans cheerleader before, what role do we give them?

But despite the hurt, Remus knew Roman didn’t mean what he said, and though they were going to seriously go off at him, they hoped that everything would be alright. But, before they could do that, they had to find him. 

***

Roman luckily still had his headphones with him, but that didn’t stop him from hearing the car pulling up beside him. When he looked across to see Remus in the driver’s seat, he didn’t stop, not wanting to hear how much he had upset them. 

“Get in.” Remus called.

“I’d rather walk.” Roman continued along the path, but it was another three miles until he would be home, and that seemed like an awfully long way on crutches that he still wasn’t very good at using.

“You seem to think I’m asking. Get in the fucking car.” Roman knew he owed them, so he stopped and climbed in the passenger seat.

“Before I start driving again, I want you to know that right now I am really fucking mad at you, and I am going to shout at you.” Remus pulled away from the curb.

“That’s understandable.”

“But before I do that, we’re going through the drive through because I’m hungry, and you’re paying.” Roman grumbled something in return, but didn’t dare repeat it when Remus asked him to.

***

Over their food, Roman started to apologise, but Remus stopped him.

“Nope, you don’t get to apologise without knowing how much you’re apologising for. You were the only one who ever supported me. Mum and dad hate me, they’re only letting me stay under their roof until I’m eighteen, then I have to be gone. You stood up for me, and I trusted you, but you acted just the same as every other person who has, both metaphorically and physically, tried to beat me with a stick for being different. And I earned my spot in the cheer squad. I fought ten times as hard as anyone else did to get onto the squad, not least to get a mat position. I don’t expect you to understand, I never have, but just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you get to pull that bullshit on me and go nuclear.” Remus took a drink of their milkshake. “Now you may apologise.”

“Okay. I’m sorry. I know I went nuclear on you, and I have no excuse, and I’m not even going to try and make one. But, I need to tell you that everything I said was a lie, I wasn’t thinking and I used whatever weapons I had to cause destruction, and I accidentally destroyed you instead of me. I am so sorry, and I would completely understand if you wanted to punch me, or maybe beat me with a stick, or…” Remus smiled, and soon they were both laughing. 

“Thank you.” Remus said, causing Roman to calm down.

“What for?” 

“For being supportive. You’re a pretty great brother, even though you can go a bit ‘I will destroy myself and anyone that gets in the way is a casualty’ sometimes.” They both started laughing again, but more subdued. The kind of quiet, calm laughter that can end a conversation into a comfortable silence.

“Let’s go home Ree.”

“Okay Ro. Let’s go home.”

[imagine-that-100]

Drunk | Part 1 |

Description of Part 1: Matty Healy x Reader (Female) | When you come back home to Manchester from University, you get invited to a house party filled with your old friends from high school. You hadn’t seen most of them for 4 years and the house brings back some old memories of the parties you once attended. Getting drunk with old friends ends up being better than you imagined.

Word Count: 11.8k

Warnings: Drug use

A/N: So I sort of just saw this picture of Matty and got the inspiration to write about it. I had no idea where I wanted it to go when I started but I really hope you all enjoy it. I’m sorry ive starved you of Matty content for so long but with the start of Notes I thought everyone deserved a treat. If you all enjoy please let me know if you want a part 2 and if so, let me know if you want to be tagged. Hope you all enjoy, love you x

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| MASTERLIST IN BIO |

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Going to house parties was always fun. Throughout high school they were fun and at Uni the flat parties were on a different level. What was even better, was getting to have house parties with your school friends again once you were all actually old enough to drink.  

Since leaving high school, you had only stayed in close contact with about 3 friends out of a group of 25. These three were Alisha, Caroline and your best friend, Y/B/F. You didn’t mind only being in immediate contact with them. When you saw the rest of them now and again, you got on like a house on fire. It was like you never left.

And of course, you replied to them in the group chat when someone made you laugh. You often kept a close eye on all the banter that was going on and they rarely failed to make you laugh. They were a crazy bunch and even you couldn’t deny that.

It was your third and final Christmas coming home from University and your school friends that you left behind couldn’t wait to see you again. You don’t know how they had managed it but apparently they had persuaded your old friend Steve to have another one of his famous house parties.

Throughout high school, Steve’s mum and dad were chill about having a whole house of underage kids drinking, which was great for you and your friends. If you were anyone in your school year, you would be invited to his party. Thankfully you always had been, and you got to witness all of the shenanigans that your peers got up to.

You had seen some crazy shit. You remember at one party in particular that you couldn’t go anywhere without something ridiculous happening. One particular party when you were in Year 10, you found yourself not believing your 15-year-old eyes.  

At first it was a normal night, you’d all been drinking and having a blast. The odd behaviour started when you were searching for your best friend. You remember walking into the back room to get more alcohol and seeing Tim, Steve’s older brother do coke. Which was not something you ever expected to see.

After that you went upstairs still in search for your friend, when you walked into Steve’s bedroom. In there was a group of about 10 people smoking weed. 

That behaviour was quite common at these parties though. What was odd was that they were all intently watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas on TV.

It was weird considering it was mid-July but you brushed past it. You asked the group if they had seen your best friend and the people who paid attention shook their head.

George waved you over and as you stood next to him, he put his arm around your back and hugged you into his side. As he was sat on Steve’s bed, he was the perfect height to rest your arm on his shoulder. That was, of course, after you ran your fingers through his messy dirty blonde hair.

“You want some?” George offers you his joint and you shook your head. 

The last time you smoked weed was with Y/B/F and you ended up having a bit too much. You didn’t want that happening again anytime soon especially in front of other people.

“Fairs” George says before taking a drag. George had been protective over you for a while now and always took care of you at these parties and in school.

He had been like that since Year 8. It originated when he found you practically being pushed down the stairs at school.

Throughout Years 7 and 8, you were bullied by the people in your class almost daily. But after George pushed the kid down the stairs instead of you, people started leaving you alone.

He didn’t let anyone give you shit from that day on and you would be eternally grateful that he did that.

George always looked out for you and when he needed help you looked out for him. For example, since then you had always supported him and his band Drive Like I Do and went to every gig that you could.

They were actually decent which was surprising to a lot of people and you could see them having a future if they all put their minds to it. You actually loved going to their gigs anyway, partly because all of your friends went and partly because you thought that Matty was fit as fuck.

You don’t know why. You knew that he was the class clown in high school from the Art class that you shared with him. But when you were in school, you never really thought of him that way. Not until he was up on stage and became the guy with 0 fucks to give.

That somehow made you think he was really attractive. You don’t know why that became a trait that was attractive to you, but it definitely was.

Matty had always been someone you were sort of envious of. He seemed very carefree and intelligent and you struggled with both of these things. You had to revise really hard for all of your exams in high school and you worried about almost every aspect of it.

Which made the parties a lot nicer for you because you just let all your worries go for the night.

After chatting with George for a bit, he again made sure you were okay which was adorable, and you went back on your search. You don’t know where your best friend had gone which you weren’t surprised by. She always had a habit of disappearing.  

The next thing you did was when you made the biggest mistake of the evening. You noticed that Tim’s bedroom door was open, and you thought that people might be gathered inside. 

However, you walked in to find Matty shagging a girl in your year called Kayleigh.

You were completely gobsmacked at the sight in front of you and you hastily turned around and closed the door behind you. You couldn’t believe they didn’t even shut, let alone lock, the fucking door. 

No one needed to see that.

You were thankful that they didn’t see you as they were both very occupied and you removed yourself from the room very quickly.

You found yourself laughing at the situation and then you really wanted your best friend so you could tell her what you’d just seen. You were surprised that you didn’t feel hurt by seeing that, you just felt the tiniest bit jealous.

When you went back downstairs and moved your way into the garden, you thankfully found your best friend sat by the fire pit. There were a few other people around listening to Adam and Ross play their guitars softly.

You sat yourself down between your best friend and Adam and you found yourself unable to remove the grin off your face. It was just bizarre; you definitely hadn’t expected to see that.

You best friend could tell that something was up straight away. 

“What’s so funny?” She asked and you found yourself unable to stop smiling.

You turned to Adam who was just strumming random chords, “I think you need to tell Matty to lock the door when he’s shagging someone”

Adam immediately stopped playing and looked at you with a shocked expression. Both he and your best friend called out, “What?” extremely loud.

Adam got Ross’ attention and he came closer to you as well. All three of them obviously wanting to hear the story. Not that there was much to tell. 

You remember telling them and Adam and Ross started creasing with laughter.

They said that they were going to bully him for it, but you made them promise not to say that it was you who told them. Thankfully they did promise, and you thought nothing of it until later when Matty came down and they started laying into him.

He was so confused as to how they knew, and you found it extremely difficult to keep a straight face. After about 5 minutes everyone seemed to know and Matty didn’t even seem to care.

This was not the reaction that Kayleigh was looking for from him though. She looked fuming at him joking around about it. 

She went home with her friends about 20 minutes later and Matty didn’t even say bye. Fucking savage.

As the night went on, you remember a group of around 10 of you moving inside to the now empty lounge and you all partook in a game of spin the bottle. It was fairly common at these parties and Steve had just made up a new rule that whatever number that the dice landed on was the time that you had to kiss for.

Everyone jumped on board with the new rule fairly quickly and no one complained about it until George had to kiss you for 3 seconds. He kissed you on your cheek which you thought was cute considering your dynamic. 

He clarified to the group, “She’s literally like my sister” which you couldn’t help but smile at because you thought of him as your protective brother.

When it got around to your go, you span the bottle not really caring about who you got. You just hoped it wouldn’t be George. 

You started chatting with your best friend after you span it to ease the nerves you felt.You averted your eyes from the bottle as you looked back outside to Caroline who was now asleep. 

You both let out a laugh as you saw Alisha trying to get her up. However, your laugher died down when you saw that the bottle had stopped on Matty. You felt your stomach flip. 

As someone passed you the dice, George said, “Careful Y/N, you don’t know where he’s been”

The group around you laughed and you let out a chuckle.

Ross then added “Well actually we do” and nudged Matty making the whole group laugh again.

Matty joked, “Don’t worry Y/N/N, I’ve had some mouthwash” which made you shake your head chuckling at him.

You rolled the dice and of course you rolled a 5 which you were unsure if it was a blessing or a curse. But you couldn’t even deny that you were excited about it. After all, you did fancy the boy.  

But before you could even prepare yourself, the moment was upon you. Matty had already shuffled across the circle and was in front of you, ready to go.

After raising yourself on your knees to match his height, Matty quickly moved the hair that was in front of your face out of the way and grabbed you by the back of your neck and pulled you into him. When your lips met, he wasted no time at all.

His kiss was soft but you could also sense that he knew exactly what he wanted out of the act. There was no hesitation in the gesture, it was just you that he wanted and you were feeling the exact same way.

Matty didn’t even hesitate to open your mouth further and let his tongue tease yours. Your hand came up and cupped one side of his face before your fingers laced themselves in the hair on the back of his neck.

He wasn’t even joking when he said he’d had the mouthwash; You could taste the peppermint on his tongue. You could hear everyone around you counting slowly up to five like they had been doing for everyone and when it got to 5 you were surprised to find that Matty didn’t stop.

You were obviously both too invested, Matty’s other hand coming up to hold your side to pull you closer to him more. You never quite imagined that you would fully pull him in front of everyone and he would keep it going as if it was only you two.

You really really weren’t complaining though. His fingers were pulling on your hair and everything that he was doing made you get a bit braver. You pulled a little harder on his hair which made him groan slightly and that made you smile into the kiss.

You were thankful only you heard it because of the commotion around you. Everyone was obviously shook that you were still kissing and they were screaming, “Ohhh” around you.

After a few more seconds, Matty finished the kiss leaving you wanting more. He definitely knew what he was doing and was trying to show off to everyone around him. Not that you were opposed to that, being on the receiving end of it.

When you turned back to your best friend, she had the biggest grin on her face which caused you to smile back at her. You didn’t want it to seem like it was a big deal though, so you just shrugged your shoulders and watched as the game went on.

You remember purposely diverting your eyes from Matty’s as you didn’t want to make it obvious that what just happened was the best moment of your life.

When you did catch his eye though, he would send you a little smirk which made your heart beat faster. You smiled and shook your head back at him and the night went on.

Since then he always made slightly more effort with you in school and you would chat to him more often than you used to. When you passed each other in the corridor he would ask, “You alright?” whereas in the past you would just share a smile.

That was the craziest party you had been to until you got to uni. Uni was great and you did love it, but it made your old parties look like child’s play. Sometimes you just found yourself wanting your friends from back in Manchester to enjoy the mischief with you.

Over the years, George had messaged you a few times to ask you how you were getting on in Leeds. However, the rest of the band you just spoke to when you saw them, and you didn’t see them often.

In fact, today was the first time you would be seeing all of your old group of friends all together since you left school. You don’t know how but Steve had managed to get most of your big group of friends back together for a Christmas house party.

The party started at 7 but you obviously didn’t get there until 9. At that point you went in and were greeted with a bunch of smiling faces of people that had apparently missed you.

Before you knew it, you’d found Steve and he picked you up and twirled you around in a big hug. 

“Oh my god, I’ve missed you so much” He grins when he puts you down.

“Aw I’ve missed you too” You tell him and give him another hug. After the tight squeeze he put you at an arms width away from him. 

“You look amazing” Steve told you, his eyes glancing down your body. 

You looked down at yourself and smiled. You were wearing skinny black jeans and a transparent purple button up blouse. You could see your lacy black bra through it but it wasn’t a big deal.

You also had your black Doc Marten heels on too and you felt pretty. A lot prettier than the last time you had stepped into this house.

Since you last saw Steve you had grown a lot and lost quite a bit of weight. This was thanks to the gym at your college and your Uni.

You weren’t surprised by his reaction to you looking different. You hadn’t seen him in person since the end of summer 4 years ago, the year you all left high school.

You made Steve laugh because you’d brought your bag full of alcohol like old times. Everyone used to bring their own alcohol and keep it in his back room.

Apparently, you didn’t get the memo that Steve would be providing the alcohol this time around, but you put your bag in there anyway. You took out a bottle of cider and started roaming the house you once knew like the back of your hand.

You knew your best friend was here somewhere, but you saw her earlier on for pre drinks, so you were in no rush to find her just yet.

You had to go back home from hers because you needed the things you’d left at your house. You were going to stay at hers tonight and you forgot to bring your stuff. So, you had a change of clothes and a night shirt stuffed underneath your alcohol.

You went around the house and mingled with the people that you once knew. You asked what they had been up to and you told them. You forgot how much you actually missed these people.

You were in the middle of a conversation with a guy called Ben that you used to sit next to in history, when you heard your name being screamed through the room. 

“Y/N” They yelled, and you whipped your head around.

You saw George walk in from the back door and you jumped up saying, “Hey”

You quite literally ran over to him and jumped in him arms. He was so tall and muscly now. He had completely changed. 

“I’ve missed you sooooo much!” You grinned as you wrapped your legs around his waist, and he held you to him.

You had really really missed him. 

You hadn’t seen him in over a year and the last time you saw him it was only a brief encounter. You remember passing each other in the street and George stopping asking if it was you.

It was and you couldn’t believe how different he looked. Of course, you had seen his pictures on Facebook, but other than that you hadn’t seen him in person since you left school. 

He was massive and ripped now.

Unfortunately, that day he was in a rush to go somewhere but you carried on your conversation over Facebook messenger. You did have a lovely catch up with him that lasted for hours of texting back and forth. 

And nothing had changed when he messaged you earlier on today to ask if you were coming to Steve’s tonight.

“I’ve missed you too” He chuckled squeezing you tightly. After a few seconds he puts you down and you start chatting properly. 

“So how are you doing?” He asks you.

“I’m great, home for two months now before I’ve gotta head back to Leeds” You inform him before taking another sip of your drink.

“That’s awesome, what are you doing again?” George asks with a curious look on his face.

“Psychology”

“Ah so you can read my mind” He jokes, and you roll your eyes at him. 

“Oh yeah” You play along sarcastically.

“So, how’s it all going?” He asks you with a smile on his face.

“Yeah really well thank you, how are you doing?” You ask, returning the smile. You glance down at him and nod with a teasing, “You look great” 

And he really did. He was wearing black skinny jeans too but with rips in them with a white top. His dirty blond hair was up in a bun and he looked so cute. Just like you remembered.

“Thanks,” He chuckles at you giving him a knowing look. He definitely appreciated the compliment, so he gave you your own with a cheeky smile, “Says you though, you look fantastic” 

“Oh shush,” You laugh, returning his smile before it you asked him, “How’s the band? How are the boys?”

George chuckled and said, “Yeah they’re good thanks, Hann and Ross are outside and Matty is around somewhere” He told you and pointed outside to the other boys who were already around the fire pit.

“I have to say hey” You smiled, moving round George to get outside and he followed you back out.

You walked towards the boys that you hadn’t seen in such a long time and when they saw you, their faces brightened. 

Ross got up first end gave you a bug hug saying, “Hey”

You exchanged pleasantries making sure he was good before you moved on to give Adam a hug. You found in school that you were one of the only people to actually call him by his first name.

There was another Adam in your year, but you hated him because he was one of the boys that bullied you. Therefore, you always ignored the others existence and continued to call this wonderful Adam by his first name.

“Adammmm” You dragged out at you gave him a hug. 

God you didn’t realise how much you missed them all.

“Heyyyy” He chuckles returning your hug. 

When you let go of him you looked back towards the three of them and realised how tall they had all gotten. Literal giants, holy shit.

“Jesus Christ, you’re all fucking massive now” You tell them, and they all laugh.

You chatted for a bit about each other and brought up a few memories from high school and of course the band came up quickly.

“How the band doing then? I haven’t seen you post anything on the Facebook page in ages” You asked them.

They all looked confused for a minute until Ross asked, “I’m sure we posted yesterday, right?” And the other boys around him nodded.

You furrowed your eyebrows and got your phone out of your pocket. You went on Facebook and typed ‘Drive Like I Do’ in at the top and brought the page up.

You shook your head and said, “No you haven’t posed since last December” You showed George your phone and when he looked at it, he started laughing.

You were confused for a second until he explained “No Y/N/N, we’re not called that anymore”

You were beyond confused by what he said and how you didn’t know about the change. George then continued to say “Yeah we’re called The 1975 now”

“What? Why did you change it?” You ask.

Adam chuckled, “Since Matty got it tattooed on his arm after one conversation about it”

You shook your head with disappointment. You weren’t even surprised by Matty’s antics, by the end of college he already had loads of tattoos from the pictures you’d seen.

“Have you released anything yet?” You asked.

“Nah not yet, were working on recording a few EP’s soon though because we have had interest from a label” George explained.

“Oh my god, that’s amazing” You grinned. 

You were so happy for them.

“I told you you’d get there” You said wanting the credit for the years of encouragement. 

You carry on to joke, “I’ll be your manager; I can get you loads of gigs in Leeds if you’re up for going that far”

Whilst they pretend to take you up on it, George says, “Might take you up on the gigs in Leeds though” 

After a really nice chat with them all, you excuse yourself to go and get another drink and hopefully find your best friend. You’d been at the party for at least an hour and a half now and you probably should have found her by this point.

You climbed the stairs and checked the rooms that everyone used to be in. When you got into Steve’s room, you found a few people in there who you had to say hi to.

You sat with them for probably another 20 minutes and you found that your old friends Dan and Courtney were together. You never saw that coming, at one point they despised each other.  

They gave you another drink as you were quickly finishing your own and you headed into another room to hopefully find her. You knocked on Tim’s, Steve’s brother, door this time and every time since you had walked in on Matty that day.

Thankfully when you did open the door, no one but Tim was there, so you said a quick hello to him. He asked how you were, and you told him you were great.

Tim was slightly older than Steve and he was lovely. He always looked out for you all before he left school and continued to make his appearance at Steve’s parties once he’d left.

You then moved on to check the bathroom as you remembered that people used to gather in there and drink the night away. Everyone used Steve’s downstairs toilet for their business and this one just became another room to party in. 

As you walked in, you heard laughter that you would recognise anywhere.

Matty’s laugh echoed through the bathroom and you were certain you could hear your best friends giggle too. When you walk around the door, for a second you thought no one was there.

That was until you heard their laughter again. You looked to the side and then see that the shower curtain was pulled across the bath and of course they were both stupidly sat in the empty bath.

You pulled the white curtain back and were met with your best friend and Matty sat opposite ends of the large empty bath. You noticed that your friend had a bottle of cider, like you now had, in her hand and Matty was cradling a bottle of Smirnoff that had a quarter missing from it.

The whole room was littered with glass bottles and it looked like the party had just been in this room let alone the whole house. And you also noted that Matty was shirtless and wearing sunglasses for some reason.

“What you doing in here guys?” You asked, slightly amused at the situation.

“Hey Y/N” Your friend chirped.

Matty didn't bother with the pleasantries, he just answered your question after swallowing a mouthful of vodka, “We were just reminiscing at how people used to just come in here and talk shit getting whilst getting drunk”

“Do you remember?” Your friend asked you and you nodded. 

On a few occasions in the past, people had indeed spent the entire party in the bathroom. It was random and you never understood so just left the people to it.

“Yeah, I never really got why everyone did that” You told them as you were never one to actually do it.

“It’s actually quite fun” Your friend told you and Matty immediately agreed.

You smiled at him and asked, “So how are you Matty, not seen you in a while” 

A while being just over 4 years.

“I’m grand thank you Y/N, how are you?” He asked pleasantly, putting the sunglasses on top of his head. 

You watched as he looked up at you with bright drunk eyes.

You smiled at his dopiness and answered, “I’m great thanks”

“That’s good” Matty said and he went back to his conversation with your best friend. 

You started talking to them about nothing in particular and half way through you get a bit bored of standing at a different level than them. So, you decided to squat down at the side of the bath. It was quite comfy in your heels, so you didn’t mind.

“Y/N, why don’t you just get in the middle?” You best friend said, and you just waved it off saying you were alright.

Matty then started, “Y/N/N just get in the fucking middle and be a part of the conversation properly”

You looked at him with wide questioning eyes in response to being told what to do, and he sent them back at you. After a second of looking and neither of you backing down, you did climb into the empty bath with them.

As you sat down in the middle of them, your back ended up being towards Matty and you faced your best friend. You chuckled silently at the situation. 

You didn’t imagine yourself at the age of 21 being sat in a bath with your best friend and the boy you used to fancy like mad.  

“I can’t see her now” Matty sighs putting a hand on your shoulder and pulling you back towards him with a little force. This caused you to fall back and your head hit his abdomen.

“Well this is comfy now” You dryly said, rolling your eyes. 

Matty just chuckled looking down at you.

“Sit up” He instructed, and you did as you were told. 

The next thing you knew his arm were around your waist and he dragged you back towards him until your back was flat against his chest. As he did this you were trying to suppress a smile. 

You did the common ‘what the fuck is going on’ face to your friend and she was failing to hide her amusement.

“There we go” Matty said in a satisfied tone, before making you lean back against him. 

You put your head to the left of his and you could just about see his jawline out of the corner of your right eye.

“You surely can’t be comfortable with the taps in your back?” You question, turning slightly to look up at him.

“It’s in my neck actually but it’s fine” Matty corrects you, before taking another swig from the bottle of vodka.

You shook your head and focused your attention back on your best friend in front of you. She had a cheeky smile on her face, and you could tell that she wanted to say something slightly risky.

You sent her a questioning look and she just came out and said what she was thinking. She grinned, “You would have freaked out 6 years ago if we were doing this then”

You send her an unamused glance and took a long drink of your cider. Her grin just got wider at your silence when you kept drinking. 

You only stopped when Matty wondered, “What you on about?”

You started to shake your head at her, but she blurted it out anyway, “Y/N used to fancy you in school”

Your jaw dropped with her confession and you actually wanted to tell her where to go. You would never do that to her, you actually couldn’t believe she had just told him.

Bitch.

Not that you still had your crush on him, that died out a very long time ago. Yes he was still good looking now but you didn’t think about him all the time like you did in high school.

“Really?” Matty asked and you couldn’t tell whether his amusement was from the shock of the confession or just general amusement at the situation.

“Really.” Your friend confirmed before pulling out her phone.

You took another long sip of your drink and found that it was very nearly empty. How you wish you had more alcohol.

You sighed when Matty nudged you saying, “That’s fun to know Y/N” 

You felt him start running lines up and down your left arm with the tips of his fingers. You didn’t hate the sensation, but you were hyperaware of it and you didn’t appreciate the teasing. 

It was usually you doing that, not the other way around.

“Is it?” You questioned, really not amused at your friend. 

You looked around the bathroom for anything that stood out, so you didn’t have to look at her. It had really annoyed you. 

“Yeah, I think it is” Matty admits before taking another swig of vodka. 

The smell of it hung in the air and you really didn’t know how he was stomaching it. Yet you found yourself wanting some to escape your situation.

It was silent for a second or two, not that you minded. You could hear the music from downstairs travelling up through the house and you actually loved the song that was playing.

“So, was this before or after spin the bottle?” You heard Matty ask.

You turn your head back around to look at him and you did so with a confused expression.

“How the hell do you even remember that?” You asked him.

He was completely fucked that night, in both senses of the world. You never thought he remembered.

“Probably the same way you do” He shot back looking down at you. 

Being this close to him you could literally see every little detail of his face you once hoped to. 15 year old you really would be having a heart attack right about now.

You could tell he had shaved earlier on today as there was no stubble in sight. You could see all the little freckles that dotted around his face and you could see the brightness in his stunning brown eyes.

You looked at him for a moment and he just stared back at you as if waiting for something. 

“So?” Matty pries. 

You raised your eyebrows at him, silently asking, ‘what?’

“Was it before or after?” He asked again and you sighed and turned back around to your friend. 

She was on her phone still, so you just took another sip of your drink before saying, “I don’t know, probably after”

You were trying to be as nonchalant as possible. You didn’t need to give this guy an ego boost as it was quite clearly big enough.

You felt like Matty was about to say something else to you until you best friend burst out laughing. You both looked at her confused until she turned her phone around, showing you both an old video of Matty and George messing around on the school field.

It was actually quite funny and both you and Matty started laughing too. 

“I remember that so well” Matty told the both of you, before wanting a little confirmation, “It was the last day of school, right?” 

You nodded, “Yeah because it’s on the park and we all brought alcohol and drank there until like 3am”

“Oh shit, yeah” Matty smiled, remembering the day well. He grins when he continues with, “And I got stuck inside that kids slide for about 20 minutes until Hann found me” which made you start chuckling.

“Shit yeah and it took us all like an hour to get you out” Your best friend said, and you burst out laughing at the memory.

It was so funny, you still remembered it well. It took you all so long because you were all laughing too much, therefore having no strength to get him out.

You went to have another sip of your drink but realised it was all gone. You balanced it on the side of the bath with ease and looked around the room for something else to drink.

All you saw was empty bottles until your eyes settled on the bottle of Smirnoff that was in Matty’s hand. You thought about it for a brief second, wondering if you would actually be able to stomach the vodka by itself. 

You just thought you’d just give it a try. After all, this wasn’t your first time drinking spirits straight anymore.

You grabbed ahold of the bottom of the bottle and pulled it towards you. Matty let go of the bottle and watched as you brought it to your lips. 

You took a mouthful of it and you would be lying if you said that it didn’t make you want to gag. You forced yourself to swallow it down and it burnt as it did.

 You didn’t have spirits straight often. You did it once in your Uni flat with some friends and you were surprisingly okay it just took a while to get used to.

Matty was quite surprised that you didn’t have any reaction to drinking the vodka straight. Even George couldn’t do it straight without having some sort of reaction to it like coughing the first or second time. 

And he was shocked that you took another swig after a few seconds as if it was just another cider.

You offered it back to Matty and he took it back from you to have another drink of it himself. You noticed that he had started trailing his fingers up and down the side of your arm again, which you eventually found oddly soothing.  

At first you were on edge about it because you hadn’t seen him in so long but after a while you didn’t even notice he was doing it anymore. You had become too comfortable.

You’d probably been sat in the bath with them for about 2 hours when your friend finished her collection of ciders that she’d hid in a box on the floor. At the same time, you and Matty had almost polished off the bottle of vodka and you were now really using him as a pillow.

You were lent back against him as you had been all this time, almost as if he was your boyfriend or something. Matty had also started playing with a few strands of your hair that he kept twirling around his fingers. 

You had no idea why, but you were now too drunk to question it.

“I’ll go and get us some more drinks” Your best friend announced which you and Matty both nodded at.

“Grab them outta my bag downstairs, there should be like five, six more ciders in there” You tell her, and she nodded before leaving the room.

After the door slams shut you and Matty don’t say anything to each other for a good few seconds. You end up sighing and then moving awkwardly over to where your best friend was moments before.

Once you lean back against the side of the bath you smile back at Matty. He, however, looked at you grumpily and said, “I’m cold now”

“Put your top back on then” You laugh, pointing towards it hanging off the sink near him.

“No, it’s soaking wet” Matty tells you and lifting it up as proof. It was actually dripping with alcohol like he told you it was when you questioned why he was shirtless.

“Maybe don’t spill drinks down yourself then… You wouldn’t have this problem” You fire back at him.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have moved, then I’d still be warm” Matty counter argues, as he pulls the shower curtain back across, hiding the two of you once more.

“I’m not your hot water bottle” You say, rubbing your tired eyes.

Matty mirrors you and started rubbing his eyes as he murmurs, “You felt like one”

You chuckle a little and roll your eyes. Matty looks at you blankly with a hint of sadness to his features.

“Fine, when she comes back, I’ll move back” You tell him and then a smile brightens his features.

“In the mean time…” Matty trailed off before pulling a box of cigs out of his pocket. 

You notice him pull out a spliff and a lighter and you smile at him. Nothing has really changed.

Matty lit it up and took a long drag of it. He lent back against the wall and blew smoke out of his mouth as he let out a big sigh of relief. When he opened his eyes backup you smiled at him and he offered it to you.

You had smoked weed more than a few times at Uni with your friends so you didn’t mind it anymore. You reached over and took it from him with a gracious smile.

You take a drag of it and breathe in the toxins. As you inhaled it, you could see Matty watching you curiously and you frowned at him a little.

As you stopped inhaling and took it from your lips, you blew out the smoke. You couldn’t help but ask, “Why the fuck do you keep looking at me like that?”

Matty grinned as he took the joint back from you, “You keep surprising me”

“How am I surprising you by getting high?” You asked before getting the bottle of vodka from him. 

You took a swig of it and saw that you were now really nearing the end of the bottle. Jesus, you had no clue how you were still awake after having this much vodka straight.

“You never struck me as the type” Matty told you before taking another drag.

You shook your head at him in disbelief and he laughed at you. He continues to explain, “You always seemed too innocent. Good at school, relatively good at the parties, never got in too much trouble”

“I can’t believe you just called me innocent” You scoffed at him before taking another drink.

He ran a hand through his messy hair and asked, “What? You were”

“Well I’m not anymore” You correct him before taking the spliff back out of his hand and taking another drag.

“Oooo Y/N/N,” Matty said in an amused tone. “What’ve you been up to whilst you were away?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know” You smirked at him before drinking some more vodka.

“I would” Matty sits forwards and reaches for the bottle. He took it out of your hand with ease and you watched as he gulped the clear liquid down.

You started telling him about the different stuff that you had tried out at Uni. It was nothing too extravagant but your stories with your Uni friends were good ones and you loved thinking back over your shenanigans.

Matty in return told you things that he and the other boys had been up to that was similar. Turns out you both got yourselves in sticky situations from time to time. You were passing the weed and the vodka between you as you told each other these stories.

You both found yourselves laughing at each other quite often. That was until you turned the conversation onto the actual band in general.

“So, why did you change the name? Especially to ‘1975’ or whatever it is?” You asked using air quotes.

“It’s ’The 1975’ actually and because I thought it was cool” Matty told you and you held your hands up at your mistake. 

He smiled at your actions but then went on to tell you about the book that he’d found the date in.

“I just thought it was cool how he signed it ’The’ instead of just saying the year. It stuck with me I suppose” Matty explains before finishing off the joint.

You nodded as you drank some more. It did sound different and you were sure they would make it work. 

You followed up with, “George was saying that a label or something was interested? How’s all that going?”

“Yeah, really good. They want us to record some stuff for them and the we can hopefully start putting EP’s out end of next year maybe beginning of 2012” Matty said sounding very positive and enthusiastic about it all.

“That good, I’m happy for you guys” You smiled. “I told you you’d get there in the end”

Matty frowns as he questioned,  “Did you?” 

You chuckled to yourself and corrected yourself, “Well I told George”

“Ah, of course you told George” Matty chuckles, before continuing to say something that makes your jaw drop, “I always thought you liked him” 

“Are you joking?” You asked him, sitting up straight. 

Matty shook his head at you and you watched as his curls swayed from side to side. 

“God no, he was like my fucking brother. Fuck that. The thought makes me feel sick” You tell him honestly. 

You loved George to death, but you never ever thought of him that way. And you don’t think you ever would.

And you were thankful that it seemed like Matty believed what you were telling him. 

You had to ask, “What the fuck made you think that?”

Matty didn’t even have to think about it before saying, “I don’t know, you always came to our gigs and spoke to him afterwards”

“I spoke to you all afterwards” You defend yourself, running a hand through your hair in confusion.

“Well I thought you came to see George” Matty went on to say.

“I came to see you all, you fucking moron. I liked your music and I liked watching you on stage” You told him before getting the vodka back and downing the rest of it.

“Ooo…You liked watching me on stage Y/N/N?” Matty smirked, raising his eyebrows suggestively at you.

“Fuck off, you know I didn’t mean it like that” You shake your head, before playfully throwing the empty bottle back at him.

He caught it with ease, laughing at your actions. 

Matty pressed on, “But you did like watching me on stage, right?”

You didn’t even deny it as your head really wasn’t in the right place to by lying at the moment. You were far too intoxicated. 

“Maybe a little bit” You chuckled and it seemed to impress the brown eyed boy.

“Knew it” Matty grins before sticking his tongue out playfully at you. 

You stuck yours back out at him before remind him, “Only cause I just told you”

Matty laughed at you then, saying, “Whatever” which also made you giggle. 

After a few seconds you both went silent before you let out a big sigh. You and Matty had nothing left to keep you occupied.

The drugs had been smoked and you’d drank the alcohol. And your best friend was certainly nowhere in sight to be bringing you anymore.

“I don’t think she’s coming back with more alcohol Matty” You pout at him honestly and you both sigh again. 

“Yeah, not looking good, is it?” Matty asked and you shook your head.

“I’ll go grab us the drinks and bring a few up so we don’t have to go back down” You told him before stumbling to get up and drawing back the shower curtain. 

You don’t know why Matty insisted on keeping it closed, but you found it easier not to question it.

“I’ll be back in a minute” You announce before leaving the bathroom, making your way down the stairs.

You darted between the groups of people and headed to the back room where you’d left your alcohol. Thankfully it was all still there, and you got out 4 bottles to bring back upstairs with you.

On the way everyone left you alone, which you were thankful for. You were actually having a nice night having a catch up with Matty.

You liked that he really hadn’t changed, and he was still down to earth despite you seeing his Mum and Dad on TV more often. As you were about to climb the stairs again, George spotted you and asked if you had seen Matty.

“Yeah, he’s up here with me” You smile, nodding up the stairs and George started following you. 

You led him up and past the bedrooms, to the bathroom and you heard George say, “Oh shit yeah, I forgot people hung about in here”

“So did I until I found him in here” You chuckled, before kicking the door open gently. 

But then immediately started laughing at what you found inside. George looked inside as well and you both couldn’t contain your laughter.

Inside you found Matty half in the bath and half lying on the ground next to it. He had somehow managed to contort his body, so his legs were still in the bath and head was lying on the ground next to it.

He now somehow had a bottle of beer in his hands that he was keeping upright and he had those stupid sunglasses on again. The shower curtain was drawn half way closed again and you honestly had no idea how he had managed to get himself into that position.

“What the fuck” You practically squeaked in your laughter and had to rest your back against the opposing wall. George was hanging onto the doorframe for support and you both couldn’t stop laughing.

The noise of your laughter tuned Matty back into the world and he looked at the both of you. “Hey guys” He said with a goofy smile on his face.

This made you laugh even more, and you were now sat on the ground laughing dangerously as no noise was now coming out of your mouth. The only noise coming from you was gasps of air as you were in desperate need for more oxygen.

It was too fucking funny to witness, and you honestly didn’t know how you and George were able to calm down. 

When you eventually did and were able to stand up again, you got up and put the bottles from one of your hands under your other arm. You pulled your phone out of your pocket to take a picture of your hilarious view.

That moment couldn’t ever be lost, and you never ever wanted it to be. 

“Send me that” George pleaded, and you promised him you would do.

You walked towards Matty and put the bottles you were awkwardly carrying in the sink so you could try and get him up. You looked back towards George and he was looking down at his best friend and sighed.

“You alright mate?” He asked and Matty nodded extending his arm to give him a thumbs up. 

To George, however, it looked like a thumbs down which made him laugh again and subsequently you.

“Slap his arse” George whispered to you and you did as it was in the air practically right in front of you.

You did it hard to hopefully wake him up a bit and George laughed when Matty practically jumped out of his skin.

“Y/N, you kinky bitch” Matty said after your laughter died down. He makes you giggle when he follows up with, “I like it” 

He looked as drunk as you felt. 

You sighed to yourself when George said, “I’ll leave you to sort that out Y/N” and shut the door behind him.

You looked at Matty below you and said, “Come on, let’s get you back up”

After an ordeal of trying to get him back into the bath you finally did after 5 minutes. You filled up an empty beer bottle with water and made him drink it before you both drank anymore.

You at least wanted him to be awake and conscious whilst you talked to him and when you both eventually joined the rest of them downstairs. The whole ordeal had caused you to sober up slightly which you didn’t mind.

After about 10 minutes of nursing Matty to consciousness, you were back chatting like you were half an hour ago.

Turns out all he really needed was a normal cigarette to wake him back up again. You had just taken those stupid sunglasses off him and hung them on your blouse so he couldn’t put them back on.

Matty shut the curtain again once he had grabbed the drinks that you brought up for you both. He cracked the 4 of them open with his teeth and you shook your head at him. 

You scorn, “You shouldn’t do that”

“Oh, sorry Mum” He joked and handed you 2 bottles. 

You shook your head at his awful joke. 

“Fuck off” You scoffed before taking a sip of cider, “If your Mum knew what you got up to at these parties, she wouldn’t have ever let you come” 

“I was great, I don’t know what you’re on about” Matty told you with an offended look on his face.

“Oh yeah and you shagging Kayleigh Smith in Tim’s bedroom was something your Mum would’ve been proud of?” You ask, amusement clear on your features.

“Ah god, I remember that” Matty said with wide eyes but you could tell he was laughing at the memory. 

“Everyone went crazy about it, didn’t they?” Matty asked and you nodded, taking a drink.

“They did” You confirmed and Matty laughed running a hand through his curls.

“Yeah because it wasn’t even me that told everyone about it. It was Hann” Matty went on. “I never even found out how he knew”

You tried your hardest to not smile or laugh at his statement, but you failed. 

Matty saw that you were holding in laughter and asked, “What?”

You let out a little laugh and admit, “Yeah, that might be my fault”

Matty looked at you with a completely shocked expression. His jaw was practically on the ground for a few seconds before he asked, “What the fuck do you mean it was your fault?”

You giggle as you explain, “I sorta told Adam and Ross about it”

“Are you joking? You cheeky bitch” He said before playfully kicking you. The cheeky smile never leaving his face.  

You let out a whine at his actions and kicked him back, laughing as you did so. “Ow, you twat” He said laughing to himself before you both broke out into a full foot fight.

You were both fully kicking out at each other and you were both squealing as your feet collided. You couldn’t stop yourself from laughing at the situation you were in. Matty was also cackling at your antics and you had again forgot how cute his laugh was.

“You’re not gunna win Matty, I’m wearing heels” You say as you continue to kick out at each other.

Matty laughs again and just continues to kick you. You only stop when you were about to kick his dick but he caught your boot before it managed to do the damage.

“Hell no Y/N/N” He said before shoving your boot to the side. 

You laughed before leaning back against the back of the bath again and putting your knees back up. It was odd how it was comfier it was to put your feet up with your heels on, rather than stretching them out like you had been doing.

You sat back chuckling and took another sip of your drink before you asked the curly haired boy, “Do you hate me now?”

“Why would I hate you?” Matty asked, before downing the rest of his drink and moving on to the next.

“For telling Adam and Ross about Kayleigh and you?” You asked with a small smile. 

You still found the situation funny and thankfully the memory didn’t scar you for life.

“I don’t hate you” Matty promises sincerely before dropping his empty bottle over the side of the bath. 

“But,” He added, leaning forwards towards you,  “How’d you even find out?”

You closed your eyes and smiled at the embarrassment of what you were about to tell him. 

“I may have accidentally walked in on you” You told him reluctantly, before drinking the rest of your first drink.

“Did you actually?” Matty asked completely shocked and you nodded. 

“Yeah, I wouldn’t lie about that” You told him taking a sip of your new drink.

“I was looking for Y/B/F and you had left the door open and I accidentally walked in and obviously immediately left when I saw what was happening” You rambled, remembering how uncomfortable you felt when you walked in.

Matty let out a loud laugh and started clapping his hands. You started laughing as well especially when he said “I can’t believe the first thing you did was sell me out to Hann”

“Well what was I supposed to do? Just sit and rock in a corner because I saw you having a quick shag?” You chuckled. “I was mortified. What did you expect me to do?”

“Aw Y/N, you didn’t need to cry because of it. I know you fancied me but there was no need to get upset. I was snogging you two hours later” Matty told you.

You snorted at that comment because of how truthful it actually was.

You laugh, “Spoken like a true fuckboy”

“I’d have fucked you too if you asked nicely” Matty smirked.

“Gee thanks” You chuckle after drinking most of your drink.

“Were you jealous Y/N/N?” Matty asked you and something about the way he said it made the mood of the conversation slightly more serious. 

Too bad your drunken haziness didn’t recognise it.

“Oh yeah, big time” You confirm, sarcasm thick in your voice.

“I’m being serious” He said but you could hear the humour in his voice. 

You quickly started to see that you were going to get bullied if you told the truth, so you started sinking slowly down the empty bathtub.

“Matty, I was mortified that I’d walked in on you and made Adam promise not to say anything. There’s nothing more to it” You explain before putting your now empty bottle on the side of the bath.

“But you started liking me after that right? So you must have been jealous at some point” Matty pressed on and you just rolled your eyes at him.

“Fuck off Matty” You told him and then he started chuckling.

“What’s so funny now?” You asked, looking over your knees at him.

You face dropped when he commented, “You’re denying what was so obviously true. I can see it on your face” 

You reached to your blouse and picked up his sunglasses. You put them on to hide yourself some more as you said, “Matthew fuck off. I was fifteen years old… Yeah, I did fancy you, big deal. Don’t worry, I don’t anymore”

Matty let out and laugh and said with confidence, “Please, you still fancy me now”

“Believe me, I don’t” You said just as confidently.  

“Well, you think I’m good looking then” Matty continued and you sighed.

You sank further down the bath and hid behind your knees to avoid him. You didn’t like it when you got embarrassed. 

You hated admitting your feelings to people. You liked to keep them guessing.

“Come on Y/N we can go in Tim’s room now, I’m sure he won’t mind” Matty teased and you felt stupid.

“Fuck off” You laugh. 

Your back was now flat on the floor of the tub and your head was only being propped up by the back of the bath. You wished the ground would open up and swallow you whole.

You heard Matty move slightly and start chuckling to himself. You just hoped he would change the subject and you could both move on and the banter between you could resume. You didn’t like feeling embarrassed.

You felt Matty’s hand on your right knee and you looked up at him through the sunglasses. He had a smile on his face and it only got bigger as he parted your legs and started crawling up between them.

You held your breath as he did so, especially when you could feel him leaving lingering touches across your body. Was he trying to drive you insane? You just kept quiet and stayed deadly still, wondering what he was up to next.

Watching Matty as he slowly crawled up your body, make your heart beat faster. Before you knew it, his face was hovering over yours. 

“Were you jealous of her Y/N/N?” He asked in a deep voice.

When you didn’t reply to him, you saw Matty’s eyes wonder around your features wondering what to do with himself next.

You desperately tried to keep your breathing under control but that often proved difficult when there was a good-looking guy between your legs.

“Did you wanna be under me like this instead of her Y/N?” He purred, his lips brushing your ear before he lent down and started kissing your neck. 

As he did so, your fingers laced into his curly hair and you moved your head to the side, so he had more access to your neck.

Your eyes fluttered closed in pure bliss at the situation you found yourself in and your breath caught in your throat. You could feel your heart beating a thousand miles per hour and you couldn’t believe what he was doing. And how amazing it felt.

You were biting your lip to stop yourself from giving anything away, even though your actions were already giving Matty all the information he needed. He moved his kisses from your collar bone up to under your ear and his hands were roaming your body.

All you could focus on was his lips attacking your neck and you could hear was your ragged breath as his actions continued. The music from downstairs was being drowned out by the rapid beat of your heart that was now all you could focus on. Apart from Matty’s actions.

You pulled on strands of Matty’s hair that you had between your fingers as you felt him focus his attention on one spot in particular. You were surprised when you heard him moan against your skin. 

Your breathing got heavier as his hands ran down the sides of your legs which were around him and continued to leave teasing touches over body. His fingers then began to roam underneath your blouse and at the waistband of your jeans.

It just confirmed to you that he did indeed know what he was doing, and how to drive you insane. You felt like your skin was on fire and there was no way it could be put out. 

As his lips moved to the other side of your neck, you again pulled on his hair wanting more. This time you were greeted with a growl that drove you absolutely crazy. 

The noise was one of the sexiest things you had ever heard, and you wanted to hear it again. You were about to tease him again until you felt he started teasing you back by grinding himself against you. 

The whimper you realised was something Matty heard and it equally drove him just as insane as the action itself did to you. He wanted to hear it again. 

It was no question if he found you attractive or not. He’d been trying his best not to look at your tits that were practically on show for him as that purple top did nothing to hide your gorgeous body. 

He cursed the bar that covered you up. Matty wanted you and there was no denying it. 

And the way you were pulling on his hair made him think that you wanted him just as much. 

You were about to tease him more until he thrusted his body into yours. More friction for both of you there was driving the both of you insane.  

“Fuck” You practically moaned involuntarily at his actions and the everything got a bit more heated.

The friction of the lower halves of your body just increased when Matty brought his head back up too so he could see you flustered below him. But the shades blocking your gorgeous Y/E/C eyes were in the way, so he reached up and took your sunglasses off, throwing them over his shoulder. 

Matty thought you looked heavenly beneath him and he was definitely not letting you out of his sight for a while.

You heard the glasses clatter against the other end of the bath, but you were too focused on the boy hovering over you. Matty’s brown eyes looked darker than normal to you and his curly hair hung over his head and almost tickled your face.

You could see that his eyes were just as hungry as yours probably were and that this was the point you knew there was no turning back from. For a brief second you both just looked at each other until you pulled on the back of his neck and brought his lips down to yours.

The pace didn’t slow down when you kissed him, if anything it got faster. You wished you weren’t in a tiny bathtub that was uncomfortable. 

You wished you were on the bed in the other room like he suggested earlier, and you hated yourself for not agreeing.

Matty tasted like alcohol and the cigarette that he smoked. You could taste your cider on his tongue, and he was addicting. Neither of you could get enough.

You pulled hard on his hair and he groaned like he had done all those years ago. You smirked into the kiss, loving that he was liking what was happening.

After a few minutes of Matty making you completely breathless from his kisses, the way he kept grinding into you, and you probably scaring his back with your fingernails, you changed your positions. 

You wanted more room. 

You needed more room.

“Get up” You practically moaned when he started attacking your neck again, definitely leaving more marks.

Matty got to his knees and you sat up with him. You made him sit where you had been previously sat and he sarcastically lent back against the tub as he watched you crawl over him.

You straddled his hips and you could feel his excitement though the both of your jeans. You pulled his lips back to yours and you both quickly became invested in each other again.

After more making out you found that at certain actions that you did Matty was involuntarily buck his hips up into yours. Especially when you increased the friction this time and ground yourself down against him. You were a tease and you wouldn’t even deny it.  

Each time he did bucked up, it made you gasp for another breath that he just took away because his tongue was inside your mouth. You couldn’t believe you were dry humping Matty Healy in a bathtub at the age of 21. 

What the fuck were the both of you?

Matty didn’t seem to be complaining though because he kept on doing it and you certainly weren’t going to. At this point you would only prefer the real thing. 

But you could tell that your current situation wasn’t going to be changing because neither of you were going to shag in a bath. So enjoying the friction of your lower halves grinding together was as far as you could go here. 

When you weren’t kissing, Matty’s lips were either on your neck or your chest.

You don’t even know when he’d unbuttoned your blouse, but you didn’t even mind when the curly haired brunette was attacking your chest with his lips. If anything, you were surprised he hadn’t taken your bra off yet.

“Fuck” You say a little breathlessly as he left a trail of kisses all over your chest. 

After a few more seconds of letting him bruise your chest, you brought his lips back up to yours. Your stomach felt like it was in knots and your heart was beating extremely fast.

You couldn’t quite believe you what you were doing. 

You’d came out this evening thinking it would just be a quiet, fun night like old times. You never in a million years thought that you would be in this situation.

After a few more minutes you both started making sloppy moves and just opted to stick kissing each other. You didn’t tease him anymore despite wanting to and Matty calmed down a bit.

You don’t really know why but you’d both started talking to each other again in between kisses. 

You assumed it was to distract yourselves because you knew that you couldn’t carry on what you were doing. Someone was bound to walk in sooner or later and demand your presence elsewhere.

“You do this often Matty?” You asked him with humour evident in your voice. 

His lips took yours again for a few more seconds until he rested his forehead against yours and breathed, “The kissing… Yeah”

He pecked you again ,“The dry humping… No” 

The both of you started laughing at that before your lips collided again. Matty’s tongue went back into your mouth and you couldn’t help the little moan that fell from your lips.

“What about you? You seem to be a pro at it” Matty asked when you parted.

However, you bit your lip and raised your eyebrows at him. 

“What? You are” Matty praised and you giggled before kissing him again.

When you pulled away, you felt dizzy and you just spoke without thinking. You moved your hair out of your face and said trying to get your breath back, “I usually just have sex if I’m honest, this is a first”

Matty whined and you were slightly confused as to ask why. Before you could ask, his lips attached to yours again. 

You were now certain you’d never get enough of Matty’s kisses, or the feel of his soft hair between your fingers. You’d definitely never tire of the way he moaned against your lips when you gave it a little tug.

When Matty pulled away, you were breathless again and you looked down at the curly hair boy in front of you as he whined, also breathlessly, “You could have said that earlier Y/N”

You started giggling at that and looked down at him. Matty also started laughing and he tilted his head forward until it hit your chest again. 

Matty Healy, the boy that you had a crush on for the last few years in high school, was laughing into your tits. 

What was going on?

You sort of just looked down at the mess of curls that was in your chest. You started giggling at this, which probably didn’t help Matty’s laughter die out. 

If anything, it just fuelled it.

“Fucking hell” You giggled, pulling on his hair so he would move away from them. He looked up at you and you just again just burst out laughing. 

The alcohol was obviously getting to both of your heads again and you only stopped laughing when you heard the bathroom door open again.

You both shut up immediately and Matty started fumbling with the buttons on your blouse. It wasn’t really working for him and you had to help him button yourself back up again and you were both silently laughing again.

Before the curtain was drawn back, Matty’s fingers ran through your hair from the very up, as if to flatten it down. It must have been a state because you don’t think anyone had ever had to flatten your hair after making out with them.

You also helped him do that again just in time before your best friend drew back the curtain. You were still on Matty’s lap and your arms were again around his neck.

You knew you couldn’t move because she would have seen Matty’s boner and tease the fuck out of you for it. Matty probably wouldn’t be to impressed either, which is why his hands were firmly on your hips, keeping you in place.

“Hey” Both you and Matty smile looking up at her as innocently as you both could. 

It was quite obvious what you had been up to as both of your lips were swollen, and marks probably littered your neck.

She looked down at the both of you with a massive grin on her face “What are you two up to?” 

You had a great poker face and could lie your way through anything so you just said “Nothing” You could come up with a lie later if she actually pressed on.

But she looked plastered, so you didn’t think that you’d have to.

However, Matty said, “I decked it before, so I wanted a hug and she’s only just giving it to me”

“Yeah, he keeps making me laugh though” You try covering your laugh at his excuse. 

You had never heard a worse excuse other than he wanted the hug.

“Well you know, Matty” You best friend said, and you nodded at her. 

You murmured under your breath, “I really do”

Matty heard this and snorted really loudly to try and disguise his laugh. You couldn’t help but start laughing again. Luckily your best friend was headed back to the door and didn’t ask what you were laughing at. 

Matty was laughing into your shoulder and you were just laughing in general at this point. Drunk messes, the both of you.

“Hey, are you two coming downstairs now? We’re all gunna play spin the bottle again like old times” Your best friend asked.

“Yeah, I’ll come down in a minute” You told her as you tried to stop laughing.

She says a little ‘yay’ and you chuckled. Matty lifted his head up from your shoulder, “Yeah I’ll come down as well in a few”

“You never know you two…” She said pointing between both of you. “It could happen againnnn” She cooed and you and Matty had to hold back your laughs.

You swallowed your laughter away and said, “It could” You looked at Matty and told him “That would be something, wouldn’t it?”

Matty also had a good poker face this time when he replied, “It really would” 

You could see the humour in his eyes and he could definitely see it in yours. He definitely still wanted you, you could see it.

“I’ll see you guys down there” She bits farewell, before the door slammed shut again.

You turned back towards Matty then and shook your head at him in disappointment, “A hug, really?”

“I panicked alright” Matty admits half laughing.

You giggled and asked Matty with raised eyebrows, “You gunna be okay?”

“Yeah” He confirms, amusement clear in his voice.

You put your hands on his shoulder and pushed yourself up off of him. Amazingly, you climbed out of the bath steadily despite Matty slapping your arse as you did so.

Giggling, you turn back towards him once both of your feet were firmly back on the ground. You looked back to Matty’s eyes and bit your lip.

“You gunna sort yourself out before you come down?” You smirked as your eyes flickered down to the prominant bulge in his jeans.

Matty looked up at you and teasingly asked, “You could just sort it out for me?” 

He raised his eyebrows at you both hopefully and teasingly, but you shook your head at him with a grin on your lips. You lent over the bath and brought your lips down to his again. 

It was a sweet kiss, not hot like it was before. It was different and you just hoped that it would leave him wanting more.

You managed to trap his bottom lip between your teeth and you pulled at it as you pulled away. You smiled down, quite proud of yourself as you could tell from the look on his face that he definitely wanted more.

When his brown eyes opened, he gave you a knowing look and it caused your smirk to grow. 

You turned around and winked at him before you made your way out, “Lock the door Matty, someone innocent could walk in”

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Taglist: @the-girl-before @friends-dont-lie-asshole

Let me know if I should carry on or if you want to be tagged x

[dreaminginthedeepsouth]

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

November 9, 2020

Heather Cox Richardson

I had hoped that the days when the news came like a firehose were over, but so far, no luck.

This morning, the stock market jumped 1200 points in its first day of trading after the announcement of Biden’s election. Over the course of the day it was up as much as 1600 points, then ended for the day with the Dow Jones Industrial Average up 834.57 points, or 2.95%.

The strong market is at least in part because pharmaceutical company Pfizer and the German drug company BioNTech announced today they have a coronavirus vaccine which appears to be about 90% effective. The Trump administration immediately tried to take credit for the vaccine, only to have Pfizer note that it has not taken federal money under Trump’s Operation Warp Speed for rushing a coronavirus vaccine. Don Jr. promptly suggested that the delay in announcing the potential vaccine until this week was designed to hurt Trump’s reelection, but it seems Pfizer is likely distancing itself from Trump to avoid any suggestion that the vaccine is about politics, rather than science. In the past, the administration has touted a number of treatments for Covid-19 that have turned out to be ineffective, and the pressure for a vaccine before the election threatened to weaken public faith in one.

The pandemic continues to worsen across the country. Today we learned that Ben Carson, the Secretary of Housing and Urban Development, has tested positive for the virus; so has David Bossie, the Trump adviser in charge of the campaign’s legal challenges to the election loss. Both men were at the election night watch party at the White House, along with White House chief of staff Mark Meadows, who was infected at the time and did not wear a mask. Aides told PBS NewsHour reporter Yamiche Alcindor that they were worried the event would be a superspreader, but felt pressured to attend.

President-Elect Joe Biden started his presidential transition today, beginning by announcing the makeup of his coronavirus task force. It’s an impressive group of doctors and scientists, including Dr. Rick Bright, a whistleblower fired by Trump officials. “Please, I implore you, wear a mask," Biden told Americans. "A mask is not a political statement…. The goal is to get back to normal as fast as possible.”

New leadership and the rising infection rates are shifting the conversation. Last night, Utah’s Republican Governor Gary Herbert announced a state of emergency. He has imposed a statewide mask mandate indefinitely and a ban on social gatherings outside of households for the next two weeks. He has limited extracurricular activities at schools. Businesses that don’t follow the mask mandate can be fined; organizers who ignore the social gathering rule can be prosecuted and fined up to $10,000.

Not everyone likes the idea of new leadership, though. In an unprecedented move, Trump is refusing to acknowledge that he has lost the election. He has launched lawsuits challenging the ballot counting in a number of states, and his surrogates—including White House press secretary Kayleigh McEnany—are accusing the Democrats of cheating. Tonight, Attorney General William Barr legitimized the idea of voter fraud by permitting federal prosecutors to investigate such allegations. Barr’s move prompted the head of the Election Crimes Branch of the Department of Justice, Richard Pilger, to resign.

But what’s so weird about this is that they are losing all these lawsuits. Indeed, some of them they’re not even trying to win: they’re not bothering to fill out the correct paperwork. It seems clear that they are simply stoking the narrative of an unfair election, but it is not at all clear to me to what end.

It is certainly possible that Trump and his people are launching a coup, as observers warn. And yet, this would not be an easy task. Biden’s win is not a few votes here or there; it is commanding, and Trump’s aides are telling reporters they think the game is played out. The military has already said it wants no part of getting involved in the election, and the courts so far are siding against the administration entirely. Even key Republican leaders, such as Georgia’s Republican lieutenant governor, are denying there has been any problem with the vote.

Maybe what’s at stake is that last Tuesday’s election left control of the Senate hanging on two runoff elections in Georgia. Today the Republican candidates in those races tagged on to the cries of voter fraud to call for Georgia’s Secretary of State Brad Raffensperger to resign. Raffensberger is the top elections official in the state. He is a Republican. There is no evidence of any irregularity in the 2020 Georgia election, and the two senators did not offer any. But if they can get Democratic votes thrown out, Senators David Perdue and Kelly Loeffler might avoid the runoffs that look like they might well result in Democratic victories.

Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell is determined to keep control of the Senate, and ginning up a conviction that the election was rigged could do that. McConnell defended Trump’s challenging of the election today, although he did not explicitly say he believed the election had been fraudulent. Trump’s attacks are working: new polling shows that 7 out of 10 Republican voters now think that the 2020 election was illegitimate. Barr met with McConnell before he signed onto the idea of voter fraud by announcing that federal prosecutors could go after it.

Still, while control of the Senate is likely driving McConnell, it seems highly unlikely that Trump cares about it. Perhaps the president is simply deep in a narcissistic rage, unable to face the idea of losing.

But there is something else niggling at me.

Trump’s refusal to acknowledge Biden’s win means that the current administration is denying him the right to see the President’s Daily Briefing (the PDB) which explains the biggest security threats facing the country and the latest intelligence information. Trump can keep Biden from seeing other classified information, too.

Today, Trump fired Defense Secretary Mark Esper (by announcing the firing on Twitter), and replaced him with a loyalist, Christopher C. Miller, who will be “acting” only. Trump also selected a loyalist and Republican political operative, Michael Ellis, to become the general counsel at the National Security Agency, our top spy agency, over the wishes of intelligence officials. Ellis was the chief counsel to Representative Devin Nunes (R-CA), a staunch Trump loyalist. Trump is also reportedly considering firing FBI director Christopher Wray and CIA director Gina Haspel. Last week, he quietly fired the leaders of the agencies that oversee our nuclear weapons, international aid, and electricity and natural gas regulation, although the last of those officials was moved to a different spot in the administration.

In other words, Trump is cleaning out the few national security leaders who were not complete lackeys and replacing them with people who are. It’s funny timing for such a shake-up, especially one that will destabilize the country, making us more vulnerable.

Today Washington Post diplomacy and national security reporter John Hudson noted that a source told him that the “Trump administration just gave Congress formal notification for a massive arms transfer to the United Arab Emirates: 50 F-35s, 18 MQ-9 Reapers with munitions; a $10 billion munitions package including thousands of Mk 82 dumb bombs, guided bombs, missiles & more….” This deal comes two months after the administration’s Abraham Accord normalizing relations between Israel and the UAE opened the way for arms sales.

The UAE has wanted the F-35 for years; it is the world’s most advanced fighter jet. They cost about $100 million apiece. The president’s son-in-law, Jared Kushner, has secretly been pushing for the sale of the arms to the UAE in the face of fierce opposition by government agencies and lawmakers.

The administration had announced a much smaller version of this deal at the end of October, in a sale that would amount to about $10 billion, but Congress worried about the weaponry falling into the hands of China or Russia and seemed unlikely to let the sale happen. In 2019, it stopped such a deal. Trump declared a national emergency in order to go around Congress and sell more than $8 billion of weapons to the UAE, Saudi Arabia and Jordan. He later fired Steven Linick, the State Department’s inspector general looking into those sales, but when the IG’s report came out nonetheless, it was scathing, suggesting that they put the U.S. at risk of being prosecuted for war crimes.

When you remember that Trump’s strong suit has always been distraction, and that he has always used the presidency as a money-making venture, I wonder if we need to factor those characteristics in when we think about his unprecedented and dangerous refusal to admit he has lost this election.

—-

LETTERS FROM AN AMERICAN

Heather Cox Richardson