#LESBIAN HARD LAUNCH

[herwideeyedgays]

they’re about to start singing cool about it

[incorrect-hs-quotes]

ERIDAN: i lovve you…

FEFERI: Swordfis)( slas)( to the c)(est. And you’re on fire.

[ilovebuckers5]

¸.♡.¸so high school ¸.♡.¸

chapter 1 - sparks fly

｡･:*pairing˚:✧｡ - hs!paige x fem!oc!lydia

ˏˋ°•summary*⁀➷ - Paige could never see herself going so crazy over a girl that it distracted her from basketball but here she was. while Lydia could never imagine getting off track of school for just another girl but then again here she was.

⋆.ೃword count࿔*:･ - 3.2k

-ˋˏ ༻themes༺ ˎˊ-

-fluff

-love at first sight

⋆ ˚｡warnings⋆୨୧˚

-none

I walked through the doors of my homeroom. There is no way I'm doing this. My first day as a junior felt like walking on clouds. My feet felt so right against the carpet of my classroom.

Most people wouldn't be that excited to be a junior for the first day after summer but my brain couldn't get the thought of high school out of itself.

My seat was right next to a window that perfectly showcased the basketball hoops that were next to the outside lunch tables.

It took me a second to breathe in the new classroom scent that was filled with what seemed like sweaty, tired, bad breath, auras but the scent of all my friend's body mists canceled it out. I waved to a couple of the girls that surrounded my desk. I felt lucky to have friends who waited for me.

I rushed myself to the corner of the room and sat down next to the friends who weren't late, hugging every one of them. Then my best friend, Lily. I wrapped my arms around Lily's waist which was covered by a custom Taylor Swift cardigan that was purple to match the Speak Now album.

"Holy shit you got it!?" I tugged on the very bottom of the softly knitted cardigan in awe.

"Yup!" Lily spun around with her hands spread out like a princess in her very first wedding dress.

You could probably see hearts of jealousy forming in my eyes. I've always wanted one of those cardigans. Looks like I'd just have to steal it from Lily sometime sooner or later.

The seat was hard with a dip in the middle which was familiar and normal but still got me all excited. This is the seat I'd be in for the next whole year (probably a couple of weeks before someone claims I'm creeping them out, forcing the teacher to move my seat.)

------------------------------------------------------------

I had in one airpod while the rest of the class walked in the doors. Sulking and dragging their feet across the floor. How could anyone not be excited about a day like this? Beats me.

I took no time to pull out a notebook and pens and pencils, writing down almost every word that my teacher said about how this year would go. My focus was nowhere but between my paper and my teacher's face.

Until I accidentally slipped an eye out of the window. My eyes were met with a blonde ponytail rushing across the blacktop. The girl was looking back and forth between the floor in front of her and the basketball hoops. I could feel her stress through the glass window.

Soon enough, the door of my classroom swung open to reveal the same blonde girl, still painted with the same stress but now that I could see her face it seemed cuter that she was in such a rush. A couple of balls of sweat fell down her face while the teacher gave her a 'how are you late on the first day' kind of look.

She had on a pair of gray sweatpants and a dark red hoodie that almost perfectly matched her shoes. As I looked her up and down, the teacher sent her my way. That's when our eyes met for the first time. It felt like I was looking at the sky. Her face was still flushed with a light pink hue and was identical to her lips. She looked like she did not want to be here, let alone be seated next to a 16-year-old swiftie.

She sat down with a huge huff and let her legs naturally separate. I couldn't keep my eyes off of her so to not seem creepy I had to talk to her. I'm almost positive that the teacher just thought I was filling her in on what had been said earlier but I was not. For the first time in a while, I wasn't focusing on what my teacher was saying. I wasn't taking down everything she said and putting it in my notebook. Instead, I was looking into the eyes of who was now my biggest crush.

"Hey! I promise you from what I've heard, this class is not as bad as it seems. I heard they'll be a shit ton of group projects maybe we could do some of them together?"

I was always told that I was a chatterbox and I needed to stop being so open and welcoming to people. that didn't stop me ever. I could tell that she was trying to ignore me but eventually, she gave in and looked me in the eye again. Her face was pretty blank but I could see right behind her dull-looking eyes that she wanted someone kind in this class. Maybe I'm just obsessed with reading people but it feels pretty accurate to me

"Thank you but I'm good," she said, quickly shutting down my excitement of the conversation.

I let out a sharp breath and looked back at my desk. At least I tried.

------------------------------------------------------------

The rest of the class was calm for me. Probably miserable for the blonde. Just as I was getting up to leave the classroom after our bell rang, I realized that I didn't even know her name. And of course, I was far too nervous to go talk to her again so I had to suffer the feeling of not knowing my own crush's name.

Then I was saved.

She walked out of the room right in front of me and was greeted by another girl, she looked like her best friend.

"Paige!" the girl squealed wrapping her arm around Paige's shoulder.

Paige.

I decided that I had been walking behind the two girls for long enough. To the point where my blood started to boil and the sight of the two being so exhilarated to see each other. I know I had just "met" Paige but I wanted that to be me. I wanted to be close to her.

I slowly slipped past the two girls and walked up to Lily, hugging her again. As hard as I tried, my face was still red from thinking about Paige. and Lily could tell.

"What's up with you?" She said nudging my shoulder.

My eyes widened once I realized that my face was burning up.

"Oh uh, nothing! it was just really hot in that classroom. That's why I'm hot no other reason. I mean it is August, and late summer is always the hottest here I mean when I tell you I was sweating so much in that class it was crazy. You're lucky you didn't have to be put through that heat heh." That was when I realized I was rambling. Only getting redder by the second.

"That's why I'm red." I rubbed the back of my neck while hiding my face.

Lily's eyebrows furrowed in. She saw right through me.

She shook whatever lie I was pushing out of my mouth and kept on walking toward her next class. passing period was around 7 minutes so once she went into her next class I took the time to go to the bathroom and touch up my lipgloss. I had a feeling that that would happen every passing period now.

------------------------------------------------------------

Paige's pov

It was lunch now and I still couldn't get that girl out of my head. I barely even remembered how she looked I just remembered her voice. soft and welcoming. I honestly loved it. her words rang through my head all day and I wish I was a bit more nice in class. I was secretly hoping that we would have at least two classes together because she seemed like the nicest person to come up to me.

It only took me a couple of minutes to finish the lunch I had made earlier this morning. The only reason I finished eating so quickly was to get to the outside basketball court before any of the cocky and annoying guys did.

There was already a ball laying out on the floor so I picked it up and called over Azzi to practice with me because playing basketball with yourself had to be the strongest guy magnet to exist.

We were just practicing layups and rebounds for what felt like a very short amount of time before my eyes latched onto the same girl. I missed that shot I was in the middle of making once I saw her walking to the tables.

I've never actually let a girl distract me from basketball but I couldn't help myself. Azzi quickly noticed and part of me felt like she was jealous.

Azzi tapped my shoulder, causing me to lose focus on the girl. It seemed like she was in slow motion as she walked past me without even looking.

Everything was back at a normal speed when Azzi gathered my attention.

"Dude, are you good?" She lifted her hands in the air.

By the time I could come up with an answer, she was gone. and I still didn't know her name.

"Yeah, I'm g-good." I was not.

My mind kept going back to that moment and replaying it over and over. I had just noticed that she had freckles. Perfectly and evenly distributed over her tanned skin. Her hair was long and it draped over her shoulders like a shawl. She wasn't short but she wasn't tall. 5'7 maybe? I kept on trying to remember her features as detailed as I could. I mean I only looked at her for a couple of seconds, there wasn't much to work with.

------------------------------------------------------------

When I got home it was harder than usual to focus on anything. My dad started explaining what I'd do for basketball this year as if I hadn't been thinking about it all summer. My brain made its choice of blocking out everything and only focusing on this mystery girl.

I was never one to ignore my parents, even if they were talking about something boring, unlike basketball. Yet here I was zoning out while my dad tried to get my attention multiple times.

I finally snapped out of whatever haze I was in and looked my dad in the eye. "What huh? Sorry."

He rolled his eyes at me and stood up to get another plate of food, along with one for me.

"I said, you'll want to try and get closer with other teammates and not just Azzi. There is a chance you'll play with them in the future."

He handed me a plate of food with a couple of utensils before sitting back down and finishing his food.

I ate my food quickly and tried to get outside before it got too dark.

Usually, I'd go outside and practice shooting a ball around but when I stepped outside I saw the one person I had been thinking about all day.

The same girl from school had just walked into what I was guessing was her home. My heart sank a little when I saw the door shut behind her. There was no way that this girl was living right across from me.

Part of me wanted to keep playing with my basketball until it got dark but another part of me (the one that took control) wanted to be bold. So I did

I walked across the street between me and the girl's house and stepped onto her porch. I hesitated knocking but slowly knocked on her blue wooden door three times.

At first, there was no answer so I turned myself around, convincing myself that it was a bad idea even though I really wanted someone to answer the door.

Just as I was about to walk down the four steps of her porch, the door opened. My head snapped around to see her standing in the doorway.

"Hey?" She said.

Her voice was just as soft as I could remember from this morning. She was so confused though.

I waved at her with my back slightly turned in her direction before switching angles and walking right back up to her porch.

"Hi! Uh, I'm sorry but I saw you walking in and I wanted to apologize for being so blunt this morning. It was rude." I tried to cover my face once I felt it growing with heat.

But when I looked up, she was still smiling. She was smiling as if I didn't totally treat her like shit in first period. She smiled as if she was glad that I was on her porch.

"Oh don't worry about that. First days of school aren't everyone's thing like they are for me so I don't blame you." She began to walk towards me while shutting the door behind her.

"I'm Lydia!"

Lydia. It fit her so well.

"I'm Paige." I shook her hand which was standing still in the air right in front of me.

"Well, It's nice to meet you, Paige. I guess I'll see you around."

"I'd hope so, we live right next to each other so if we didn't I'd get pretty worried."

"Would you now?"

Lydia then turned around and walked back into her house.

My feet felt like they weren't even attached to the ground. My hands tingled and I could still feel her touch against my palm. I must have stood there for at least 3 minutes before running back into my own house and sprinting up the stairs.

I threw myself on my bed with my arms and legs spread out.

"Shit!"

My head fell into my hands attempting to cover my now red face, even though I didn't have anyone to hide it from.

---------------------------------------------------------

Lydia's pov 

The minute I got back inside, I was quite literally jumping for joy. I was squealing and running around my house as if I just got into my dream college.

I actually lived right next to the one girl I wanted to. Paige.

I ran up to my room and continued to jump up and down. I took no time to get out my record player and put on my Lover record. I had it at the max volume.

I began to sing along to the lyrics of Cornelia Street as loud as I could. After screaming the lyrics to every Lover song, I calmed myself down and flopped my body onto my bed. The covers slid around while I squirmed about my bed. I then took a pillow into my hands and screamed as loud as I could into it.

By now my face was blazing red and I couldn't feel anything on my body.

Some would say that I was overreacting but they obviously didn't know how much this meant to me.

First of all, my nice personality actually showed and Paige didn't think I was just being annoying and perky. Second of all, she didn't mean to have an off-putting reaction to my nice personality. Third of all, she actually gave enough of a fuck to apologize for having an attitude this morning. and fourth of all, she lived right. Next. To Me.

I felt my heart flutter out of my chest the more I thought about it. and just as I was getting caught in a daydream of what the future could hold for me and Paige, my brother walked in.

"Can you turn that music down? My ears are fucking bleeding."

Of course, I wasn't going to turn the music down or let my brother ruin my lovely daydreaming moment, so I picked up a different pillow of mine and chucked it at his face.

"Put on some headphones then!"

I yelled over my music. Was it maybe a little too loud? Yes. Did I care? Nope.

My brother slammed my door and left to storm down the hallway and complain to my mom. Next thing you know she was interrupting me and stood in the doorway with a hand on her hip.

I was now forced to turn down my amazing musical taste and listen to my mom's lecture.

"What is going on? Why on earth are you so smiley?"

My face was serious and stern until she asked what was up with me. Then I began to let my smile right back out and crept up to my mom. I wrapped my arms around her, still not being able to control my excitement.

"Mom the best thing happened today. Sit down sit down." I sat in my desk chair after patting on the bed for my mom to sit on. A long sigh left her mouth while she shut the door and sat down next to me.

"So basically, I was in my homeroom ready for everything when I looked out the window and this random blonde girl was rushing through campus, and then next thing I knew she was in my class. Mom she has the prettiest blue eyes and her hair looks so shiny and long and oh my god." I dipped my head into my hands to shade the absolutely humongous smile that was on my lips.

"She sat next to me and I was like 'blah blah blah school is difficult on the first day blah blah blah this class is going to be fun blah blah blah' I was being nice like how I usually am and boom she has a bland ass reaction- language I know I'm sorry. then I get home and the next thing I know she's at my door! she starts apologizing for her reaction and is being so nice and I find out that her name is Paige! Paige Paige Paige oh my God!"

I was now spinning around in my chair with my knees huddled close to my chest and when I looked up my mom had the most admiring smile on.

My mom always cared for me and my love life. She had to be the sweetest and most supporting and caring mom ever.

She then pulled her hand up to my back and began rubbing back and forth, slowly calming me down.

"That's amazing honey. So she lives near us?"

My face lit up just thinking about that fact.

"Yes! Right across the street!"

My mom laughed again at my excitement.

"I'm happy for you love." She removed her hand from my back and stood up with a grunt.

Once she left the room I was finally calmed down. I let out a huge breath and laid back down on my bed, staring at the ceiling.

I could almost feel my heartbeat in my mouth as I panted. All that jumping and screaming was getting to me.

Without even taking off my jeans or my sweater, I fell asleep on top of my covers. I was curled up in the corner of my bed now.

Of course, all I could think and dream about was Paige. My head began jumping from scenario to scenario. Ones where me and Paige were together. A first date. And all of those thoughts slowly led me to sleep.

for the first time in a while, I actually felt like this would work. Like maybe I had found a crush that won't fuck me over silently by ignoring me.

[whimlen]

I Wanna Dance with Somebody (Who Loves Me)

[April 6 ‘24]

[airsignss]

Local lesbian faces tragedy when they have to wash their hair when its slaying; more at 11

[archivesofnostalgia]

reneé using the label lesbian in a positive way makes me happy 🥹

[astuteobservations]

girls with she/her in their bios always end up being lesbians

[sunkissed-zegras]

𝐒𝐎𝐅𝐓/𝐇𝐀𝐑𝐃 𝐋𝐀𝐔𝐍𝐂𝐇 ─ PB⁵

౨ৎ ─ summary | pretty self explanatory LOL, paige soft launches you!!!! yippee! this was requested -> "HARD OR SOFT LAUNCH WITH PAIGE PLEASE 🙏"

─ warnings | pretty short, JUST CUTE FLUFF!! obvs some banter, playful arguing, idk just some pretty funny stuff nothing too insane!

─ taglist | my wcbb taglist is linked in my navigation, fill it out if you wanna be tagged!

─ ev's notes | YALL!!!!!!! send in some requests if yall would like! requests are open for rn

paigebueckers

Liked by nika.muhel, kamoreaarnold, uconnwbb and 239,674 more

paigebueckers | no bad days ☀️ june 15th, 2023

View all 10,382 comments

yourusername [PINNED] | i wonder who that is?? 😛

↳ paigebueckers my best friend duhhh 😘🤞🏼

↳ yourusername don't play with me like that.

↳ paigebueckers i'm sorry no it's my beautiful girl 💁🏻‍♀️💅🏻

user003 | THE GIRLS WON!!!!!!!!!!!!! BEST PRIDE MONTH EVAAA✌🏼✌🏼

user662 | PAIGE???? HARD LAUNCH????

↳ user882 would not expect any less from our drama queen

↳ user129 people need to learn the difference between hard and soft launch🫠

user005 | fucking KNEW ITTTTTTT.

kamoreaarnold | where is the photo creds??? a tag woulda been nice 🙄🙄

↳ paigebueckers which pic

↳ kamoreaarnold the last one? 😑

↳ paigebueckers then people would've thought i'm dating YOU

↳ kamoreaarnold wait THATS supposed to be a hard launch?? 🤣🤣🤣

↳ paigebueckers NO a soft launch

↳ yourusername guys r you forgetting that ur arguing on social media? like everyone can see .... 😶

kamoreaarnold | HAPPY PRIDE MONTH

↳ paigebueckers wait a second i just realized that😭😭

↳ kamoreaarnold SO THAT WAS NOT ON PURPOSE? 😭

azzi35 | how many letters in LESBIAN?

↳ paigebueckers seven but I SEE WHAT U TRIED TO DO THERE 😭🩷

↳ yourusername ATEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

↳ azz35 LETS GOOOOOOO🥳🥳

user987 | knew she played on the same team

↳ user871 wdym she plays for uconn?

↳ user790 GIRL😭😭

nika.muhel | my fav girls 🥹🫶🏼

↳ paigebueckers love you twin🥰🥲

uconnwbb | paige is finally LOCKED IN🫡

↳ paigebueckers DON'T TALK TO ME IM MARRIED💍💍💍💍

↳ yourusername mrs bueckers sounds perf 🥹

↳ paigebueckers WHEN SHE TAKES YOUR LAST NAME🤗🥰🫶🏼

user121 GOOD😭😭😭 FOR😭😭😭 HER😭😭😭

↳ make sure to check out my navigation or masterlist if you enjoyed! any interaction is greatly appreciated !

↳ thank you for reading all the way through, as always ♡

[sl-ut]

streamer!ellie hcs

been thinking about gamer!ellie williams x fem!reader a little too much lately so here are some random ass hcs

she's a pretty big streamer on twitch, plays a lot of different games but she particularly likes rpgs bc she thinks they're the most fun kinds of streams to watch

she plays gta online (on nopixel ofc) A LOT

her rp character is definitely like a druglord or something lol

speaking of, total stoner

she usually smokes right before her streams to help her settle down (she gets kinda nervous before her streams)

she's up front about her drug use (just weed don't worry) w her fans, but definitely doesn't wanna smoke on stream bc she knows there are younger viewers watching

she streams at night, probably around 8:30-9pm AT THE EARLIEST

has a boss set up. she has an extra room in her apartment for streaming, has lots of fun little figurines and posters of her fav games/movies/artists, led lights (always set to either blue or red), and custom display, keyboard, and headset

off-topic, but she'd also an astrophysics major and is on the DEANS LIST??? our girl is so casually smart and doesn't even try that hard like

she's such a nerd, always been a big star wars, harry potter, and lotr fan since she was a kid

she casually drops the gf bomb on stream one day and the internet just about blows up

lesbian twitter died a little that day

she's kinda secretive about it tho, didn't even really mean to mention her gf (she hadn't even asked her to be her gf yet and she already publicly announced that she was off the market)

for plot purposes, i've always really liked the idea that y/n is also a public figure? maybe she's a small actor/singer or an influencer or something

y/n texted her during the stream saying "u got something u wanna ask me???"

ellie was trying so hard to not turn red and end the stream

a few days later, everyone's fav lowkey singer/actor/influencer happens to soft launch her new gf (everyone was a little sus but no one really assumed that it was ellie bc why would it be??? they've literally never interacted on the internet before?)

except what they don't know is that ellie had been really high one night and decided to shoot her shot, sending a risky dm on insta and almost pissing herself when she saw that she had actually responded

begins talking about the relationship more on stream

doesn't reveal who her gf is for a while tho, but when she gets a text from y/n asking for her help for a sec she'll just tell her chat that she'll be back bc she needs to "go help the missus"

such a loser fr

finally hard launches on y/n's bday, posting a photodump from the past few months that they've been together

lesbian twitter died again

two of the hottest internet gays off the market? oh no

but everyone really loves it

ellie likes when she brings her snacks or a drink during the stream, inviting her to sit on her lap and chat for a bit while they're waiting to join a server or something

she bought an additional gaming laptop so y/n could stream with her sometimes

ellie does random super loser stuff when this happens, like if they're playing gta she's taking her on a long car ride around the city bc she's roleplaying as y/n's sugar daddy

loves using her platform to hype up her gf's work

always reposting new songs or casting announcements that her gf is involved in, and loves being her date to big press events

omg i might have to make a little modern!ellie fic bc i love this smmmm

[lorelaiblair]

addams family headcanons

- we’ve all seen the headcanon that gomez is allergic to roses and that’s why morticia cuts their petals off?? yeah??? it extends to wednesday, she’s allergic to them too, enid brings her thorns or just simply black viola’s

-why that instead of black dahlias? they’re wednesday’s favorite in the show? trauma. thornhill gifted them to her, thornhill tried to kill her and the people she loves. she’s not open about it, she likes to seem like she’s not effected, but enid always knows.

-werewolves, canines i might add, cannot consume chocolate. this includes enid. she hates it. she absolutely hates it.

-wednesday goes back for the snood

-enid has angsty poems and short stories in her notes app, they are directed towards her mother

-the lesbian flag sweater enid owns was a gift from yoko, when enid realized her sexuality she gave the vampire girl an earful and asked “why didn’t you tell me!??”

-enid is an avid clothes thief, she has a few tank tops and flannels from ajax, shorts and jeans and blouses from yoko and divina, a sweater or two from eugene, a dress from bianca, and she wears wednesday’s clothing as she pleases (at this point they share wednesday’s closet)

-enid makes wednesday jewelry out of animal bones

-wednesday makes enid jewelry too, she breaks into the metal shop classroom to do it (she also makes them weapons)

-after enid wolfs out for the first time her hair starts growing super fast, it’s pretty hard to keep up with her roots but wednesday always helps her blend them in

- enid thinks it’s sad that wednesday doesn’t have any stuffed animals, on a trip to jericho with her girls she sees a stuffed scorpion and knows that it was meant to be

-the stuffed scorpion has a permanent spot on wednesday’s bed, and sometimes in wednesday’s bag when she knows her day will be tedious (she also has a picture of enid in her bag that she looks at when she feels down)

-wednesday doesn’t mind showing affection, enid and their friends assumed that she would, but after the two started dating she nearly became the more affectionate one (enid cannot get enough of it), this still does not extend to their friends and family, enid is the only one allowed to touch her

-enid learns spanish to flirt with wednesday, it goes much better than expected (and she’s really good at learning other languages, who would have thought?)

-they also talk shit (gossip) about people in other languages, enid thinks it is hilarious and wednesday loves seeing an evil side to her girlfriend

-when enid is having a hard day wednesday will play the cello for her, she has learned way too many pop songs just to make the other girl happy. enid will make a pallet of blankets out on their balcony and watch wednesday play for hours

-they roughhouse often, at this point nevermore students are used to seeing knifes flying straight for enid sinclair’s throat, enid catches them easily with a scary ass smile and then launches them back full force

[onyrica]

Carmilla & Laura - [ Book Cover ]

I am so incredibly proud to finally reveal my cover design for the Deluxe Hardcover edition of Carmilla & Laura, the classic lesbian vampire novella retelling by bestselling author SD Simper!

First, and most importantly, please make sure you sign up to be notified when the project launches (even if you don't plan to pledge) as all interest/sharing will help a great deal: Kickstarter Page 

Secondly, I'm honestly so excited to be part of this project. I've always wanted to design book covers - or book art in general - and to see my work finally make it to people's shelves will definitely be one of my life's highlights.

I worked incredibly hard on this piece (which will extend to the full dustjacket in the hardcover edition) - from the characters, whose faces and tones were a huge challenge to align in a way that felt right, to well... the flowers. Of course it had to have flowers. Nobody even asked for the flowers - it just had to have flowers.

Someone save me from myself.

The kickstarter will feature several tiers with many bonus add-ons - one of which will be limited edition prints of the cover art hand-signed by yours truly - as well as art by other wonderful artists and annotated copies by the author, so please make sure that you come back for the launch and consider supporting the project and/or telling everyone you know about it.

As always, your thoughts are loved and if you have any questions about the Kickstarter make sure you drop them in the comments!

[shaunamilfman]

It’s been so long since I’ve sent an ask in, i fear the kids will think we’re in a divorce. So today I came to offer up a situation I believe in 1000%.

Jackie Taylor in college not knowing how to flirt with women, so whenever she meets you for the first time she doesn’t know how to talk to you. She ends up buying those stupid men’s pickup artist CDs, the like late 2000s type. She believes it completely and thinks that this is how you get girls and buys like the whole box set. It comes with douche clothes, a small notebook of pickup lines and a huge textbook along with like 10 CDs. Literally any normal person would know these lines and tactics would absolutely not work, but she’s convinced herself. So she tries approaching you in a bar and when you don’t follow the script that the pickup artist said you’d respond with, she gets nervous. She pulls out and skims through the pages of a huge book that in VERY bold letters on the front reads, ‘HOW TO GET WOMEN’

She eventually gives up on the textbook after she sees the weird look you gave her upon seeing it. Just ends up taking a bar napkin and writing “Do you like me?” With 2 options below that read “Yes” and “YES”. She’s looking at you like she’s so proud of herself that you cant help but circle the option in all caps. (She thinks that means you’re dating, immediately)

excellent ask as always bro. feels like we haven't spoken in soooo long. waiting by the window for my husband to come home from war. checking the post office every day for one mere letter from the front lines 😔

the way that little book is the only thing jackie's taking notes on before she got to college. she bombed her first exam and is like "omg how do you study in college???" and then looked at her 10 pages of notes from "chicks 101" and a lightbulb lit up

jackie has the best pickup lines written down and her phone and keeps checking the notes app as shes walking towards you (walks into a pole). forgets them immediately the second she starts talking to you (you talked first and she forgot what she crammed) but refuses to admit it and tries it anyways. completely flips the line around. like "you're the only ten i see, are you from tennessee?" and immediately winces.

screams into her pillow atleast once a week. did not realize that flirting with girls would be so fucking hard. no one tells you this thing. she almost misses when she thought she was straight. the shit was soooo easy. she's so good at flirting with boys that she's still pulling them without even trying.

also jackie for fucking sure memorizes how she wants conversations to go in general when she's nervous about something i feel and the second someone goes off script she's like "hold on now". has to schedule a doctors appointment for the first time and they ask her a question she didn't have written down and she hangs up (they needed her middle name. she makes shauna call them from rhode island lmaoo.).

peering over jackie's shoulder and she's got 20 tabs open all along the lines of "how to kiss", "how to tell her i like her", "how to flirt with women when you look straight", "how to be her friend in a gay way", "lesbian. girl pretty. help"

jackie does NOT believe in situationships. what do you mean you're not in love with her??? you went on three dates?? she secretly sprayed her perfume on your pillow when you were in the bathroom and everything. yahoo answers swore it would make you fall in love with her

side note jackie immediately hard launches you after one date. queen. writing mrs jackie taylor in all her notebooks for sure. calling shauna up like "i found the one" and shaunas like "...where is she from?". "unimportant. anyways so on our date..."

you see a no faintly written under a shit ton of eraser marks before she changed her mind and wrote another yes. (was nervous about giving you the option lmaooo)

[foldingfittedsheets]

An FAQ!

Does your ask tag stand for "Folding Fitted Sheets" or "For Fuck's Sake"?

Both! I had been using the handle Foldingfittedsheets for a long time and someone shortened it to FFS and I immediately realized that it was hilarious. All ways of reading it are valid.

Can you actually fold a fitted sheet?

No. I thought it was a funny handle that was easy to say and hard to do. A metaphor for life being messy and complicated. A task that you can only ever try your best at although failure in inevitable.

When I moved in with my beloved I packed the linen closet and told them that I didn't know if we'd have enough room. They spent a day refolding everything beautifully and it took up a third of the closet. So some people are just built different.

Have you seen this guide on how to fold them??? It's easy!

I am content at my current levels of adequacy and would prefer to spend my time on other pursuits. Thank you for thinking of me, but I'm good.

Will you put a read more on comics?

No. I have tried to put out comics under read more cuts and they do not get the same traction. It's also unfair to ask me to change how I present my work. No one will ever have to scroll through them as much as me and I promise it's never more than 30 seconds which does not feel unreasonable.

Tumblr has a setting that will automatically shorten long posts, and I have provided a tag "do you love the color of the comic" so that you can take initiative to reduce the space they take up. You can also block the new individual comic tag after you’ve read it to stop seeing repeats.

Comics take months of my time to produce and I reblog them a lot when they first launch because I'm excited to share something that I worked really hard on.

I won't be offended if you unfollow me, but I will if you ask me to cater to your sensibilities on how long my art should be.

Will you reblog my mutual aid post?

I’m sorry, but no. If I don’t know you I don’t have the time to check for scams and Tumblr just really isn’t the best platform to ask for help if you’re in dire straits.

Why don’t you have lesbian flags?

I prefer the rainbow and I have very negative connotations with it, which I talk about more here.

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

reading roundup: April 2024

oh my god you guys I've read SO MUCH this month!!! I got BIG into reread N.K. Jemisin's tremendous Broken Earth trilogy and it's been jaw-dropping, and I have been reading a HEAP of comics and manga a

on the extremely off chance there's anyone following me who doesn't think comics, manga, graphic novels, etc don't count as "real reading" lmao lol get out of here??? you're on the Reading 1000s of Pages of Old Batman Comics blog. go feel the whimsy of reading a whole graphic novel in one afternoon and maybe you'll calm down.

ANYWAY!!! what have we been reading?

Earthdivers Vol. 1: Kill Columbus (Stephen Graham Jones, Davide Gianfelice, Joana Lafuente, 2023) - Stephen Graham Jones is one of my all-time favorite authors, and I was super excited to check out his first comic series. Earthdivers takes place in the wasteland of the 22nd century, where four Native survivors have hatched a plan to try to stop the disasters that are killing the world: use a time-travelling cave to send one of their number back in time to kill Columbus before he can launch the colonization of North America. it's a one-way trip, and the time traveler will have to be ruthless to achieve their goal. beyond the attention-grabbing hook of killing Columbus, this story dives (you see what I did there) deep into an exploration of what it means to sacrifice everything for a cause and find the will to be ruthless in pursuit of the greater good. I'm not 100% sure I tracked all of the twisting threads of time travel in this first volume, but the hook is compelling and Gianfelice's art is beautiful, so I'm really looking forward to seeing the series progress!

Spoiler Alert (Olivia Dade, 2020) - at this point I've written 8000+ words about this book on my patreon and it's becoming difficult to figure out what else to say or how to say it briefly. this book ties itself up in knots with its contrivances and makes both of its protagonists look dumb in the process. I don't like either of these people but - spoiler alert! - I still think April can and should do better. Olivia Dade please call me I just want to talk.

Delicious in Dungeon Vol. 1-3 (Ryoko Kui, trans. Yen Press, 2017) - I don't need to explain Dungeon Meshi. surely you've seen the gifs of Dungeon Meshi. all that matters is that I fucking love Dungeon Meshi, this shit rules and it's going to be so hard to hold off on reading Volume 4 while I try to prioritize some other books first. this world is great, the characters are a delight and a joy, and the way that Kui is so fascinated by the food and biology and exploration of adventurer fantasy tropes in her world makes my brain go wheeeeeeeeee!!! I'm having so much fun.

The Fifth Season (N.K. Jemisin, 2015) - historically I've very seldom reread books, but I'm starting to think that I need to change my stance on that. revisiting the Fifth Season years after I first read it, with the time to really enjoy it and also the maturity and perspective to actually appreciate what Jemisin is cooking, has enhanced the experience immeasurably. a thing that really struck me this time was how artfully Jemisin depicts the way orogenes are conditioned and groomed from the jump to be subservient and scared and willing to settle for life at the margins of society; it's not something that I could totally understand the nuances of when I read this book fresh out of my first year of college. this novel and its sequels are so brilliantly devastating, I cannot say enough great things about them.

My Pancreas Broke, But My Life Got Better (Nagata Kabi, trans. Jocelyne Allen 2022) - I did it, I'm officially caught up on all of Nagata's works that have been translated into English! and man, I'm still worried about her. the experience of reading My Lesbian Experience with Loneliness hasn't quite been replicated for me; I think that was a once in a lifetime event, although I've certainly found a lot that I relate to in Nagata's subsequent struggles to sort of out anxiety, independence, art, and figuring out what kind of relationships she event wants to have in her life. at this point I feel like I'm just reading the illustrated life updates from a friend I haven't seen in a long time who stresses me out because her life is a mess. which is still interesting! but god I hope something good happens to this woman soon.

The Obelisk Gate (N.K. Jemisin, 2016) - The Fifth Season is a book about the end of the world and of one woman's personal apocalypses that happened prior to that. its sequel, the Obelisk Gate, is a book that's extremely preoccupied with the tedium of figuring out how to run a halfway-functioning society in the midst of the apocalypse, which is genuinely fascinating stuff. and it's also a book about the fear and desperation and sheer levels of exhaustion that might drive someone to decide that, fuck it, maybe the world should end and we should be done with all of this, actually. it's also a book about devotion and dependence and destruction and devouring people you love in a VERY literal way, which it must be said is pretty sexy. the stuff that pops off between Essun and Hoa in this book makes me think of Octavia Butler in the best way; I think she would have adored them. I'm so excited to get to the final book and see how this all pays off, because the first time I read it I barely understood a single goddamn thing that was happening.

I Hate This Place Vol. 1-2 (Kyle Starks, Artyom Toplin, Lee Loughridge, 2022-2023) - a short and spooky comic series that wraps up in two tight little volumes. I have some gripes with the pacing, but it makes for a fun afternoon read. a mid-tier streaming service is going to adapt this into a live action series within a couple of years, mark my worms. personally I'm fancasting Mackenzie Davis as Gabby and Samira Wiley as Trudy.

[freckliedan]

Does the video have hard launch vibes? Havent watched it yet

i truly cannot think critically past the haze of lust i'm experiencing over dan in that choker and the high of portland lesbian polycule mentions

[ziorite]

me finishing season 1 of 911 and watching everyone’s arcs conclude in a satisfying if not completely final way:

idk do people warn for spoilers six years after the show came out ??? adding the break anyways in case someone’s also watching for the first time and also because it’s a long post whoopsies

I KNOW I KNOW ABBY AND BUCK DON’T END UP TOGETHER but they’re so sweet to each other… and he’s grown so much in their relationship and it’s so healthy… god i’m so invested in this rehabilitated fuckboy :’)))

and karen coming back to live with hen ???? ooooh girl ik she fucked up HARD but i was crying cheering punching the air for her this whole damn season that is MY comfort lesbian character !!!

now bobby and athena i wish i could say didn’t see coming but unfortunately i hopped on the wiki to look up someone’s last name and was immediately spoiled for shit. HOWEVER i will not let that distract me from angela basset’s back muscles dear GOD. bobby better treat her right because that dress had me on the FLOOR.

chimney might take the position of second favorite character purely because of how fucking funny he is. plus between the dating life and the fucking metal rod through the school the man just can’t seem to catch a break. but he’s still rolling with the punches and being such a support for everyone else and i DESPERATELY need the show to go deeper into his character and background !! someone appreciate this national treasure !!! (plus the fact that rebar is apparently an accepted nickname had me crying laughing for a solid two minutes— the way buck launched up those stairs and started in on him with absolutely NO hesitation ??? and chimney didn’t even question it ??? DONE.)

in conclusion i will be devouring the rest of this series with a furious appetite and having a lot of feelings about it. a lot. patricia’s death caught me by surprise and boy did it have me teary. kudos to the showrunners but also they owe me tissues.