#LIKE. ALSO. HELLO? ARE WE JUST NEVER GOING TO TALK ABOUT THE UPSIDE DOWN STATUE EVER AGAIN?!?!?!?

[romaritimeharbor]

me when venti has like 50 million death flags

[synonymroll648]

Do you have anything that is consuming your brain more than normal that you want to info dump or talk about?

Also hi

hi :)

YOOOOOO INFODUMP INVITE LETS GOOOOOOO

okay so i don’t really talk about this au a lot but i think about it a lot- gisela mandating keefe get a bodyguard pre-foxfire-age because she leaves the lost cities to make sure keefe has little to no anti-neverseen influence and wants to take up the role of lodestar. and the bodyguard, of course, being ro.

like hello can you imagine-

keefe being like 9 and genuinely calling ro “aunt ro” because she was like no i’m not your second mom but I’m like emotionally your wine aunt or something. after he’s forced to stop calling her “wine aunt ro”

piggyback rides in ravagog. like he’s been walking for too long and he’s like “aunt ro i want uppies :(” which later turns into “rooooooo will you carry meeeeeee”

keefe accidentally becoming a microbiology nerd because ro showed him a weird amoeba once when he was bored and he wanted to know about more weird colorful blobs and she’s eventually told him everything he knows by the time he’s a teen

him trying to draw his family but it’s just him holding his mom’s hand and ro’s hand and maybe alvar’s there in a neverseen cloak

snowball fights outside his mom’s nightfall facility. after ro’s bandaged his thumb and made a silent note to self to go “hey man are we sure cutting a child is the best way to open a door, gisela”

ro holding him on a kid’s harness or something while he’s fawning over the gorgodons and trying to insist they’re his best friends and they’d never hurt him. ro trying her best to not crush his dreams and blatantly tell him they’d kill him if they could but also trying to keep him safe

literally the stupidest games of truth or dare ever that would destroy ro’s dignity and reputation if her kingdom found out. “no dad i didn’t get stuck in a tree upside down hanging by one leg to make a kid from sparkle town smile that’s a RUMOR”

even stupider bets. of course

ro drawing ogreish runes on him in marker to make him feel like he fits in more. or to make him feel better about himself. like drawing things that mean “brave” or “important”. on days when the childhood depression sure is depressioning (mostly after things his mom does that are Fucked Up but he thinks it’s normal but he feels down about it anyway)

keefe manually learning ogreish through ro. cannot growl for the life of him without losing the sound of the word he was going for and she thinks it’s the funniest thing on the planet. unfortunately for her keefe gets the hang of it after a few years

he wants to be a mercadir so bad dude. starts training earlier than his mom planned because of it. super tough for an elf (esp one as young as him) but when he’s like fifteen or sixteen he has a major whiplash moment where ro’s like yeah i had you doing the regiment for our ogre children that are up to 2yrs old. do you wanna try the elementary track now instead of the pre-elementary track? and then puts him through the most brutal workout known to elvin kind

she gives him all kinds of ogre treats after workouts. slowly teaches him how to make them over time. he reaches a point where he hears her dad is visiting his mom for a status update on a neverseen project he’s collaborating with them on and he makes the weird green tea thing cadence had in book 6 without anyone asking. ro tries and fails not to grin

they go back and forth about making up the stupidest stories possible for different constellations. after his mom teaches him how the neverseen hideout star map works and they’re on similar knowledge levels of astronomy

they do each other’s nails. she got him sharp acrylics before a mission once so he could pretend he had claws too

nobody told her that elves can hold their breath for an absurdly long time if they want to so keefe went swimming once and was like “i’m gonna see how many fish i can find” and she was like sure buddy why not (thinking he’d resurface after a minute or two) and then it’s like ten to fifteen minutes later when he finally comes back up after she’s panicked and used multiple devices to figure out where he either got attacked or hit his head on a rock or got caught in the undertow he shouldn’t be able to reach. and he’s completely oblivious to how badly he’s freaked her out and he’s like “[gasp] i found [bigger gasp] 42 FISH :D [gasp] [coughing fit]” and tries to infodump about how he somehow found a nesting ground in the mouth of a cave system 12ft deep but he’s like waaaayyyy too exhausted and she’s dragging him out and throwing him over his shoulders anyway. he still has the dumbest looking pair of goggles ro could find on btw

anyway swimming is a coping mechanism for him. he can’t outrun anyone when he’s upset and he can’t outfight them either but he wins for What the Fuck Are You Secretly A Fish among all the species he’s met so far. ro doesn’t let him go below the surface though because she’s like um you are too mentally ill to be allowed to go underwater during a depressive episode. feel free to do five laps across a lake though <3

keefe learns how to mimic right before he hits his angsty-strictly-because-puberty phase and arguments with him become the most infuriating experience ever because he’ll quote her in her voice to prove a point. or just make shit up in her voice which is even worse

they rough house a lot. but ro never lets him win easily and is always pulling some anatomy/combat info into her taunting. so when keefe rough houses with other elves they’re like what the fuck why do you know which nerve to press on to make someone’s arm go numb you’re literally 12

somewhere there is definitely a height chart that’s keefe’s height at different ages scrawled into the wall. of course it’s always ro-given nicknames instead of his name after the first mark

everyone calls keefe something along the lines of tiny in ravagog. no it doesn’t matter that he’s tall for his age he’s gonna be a foot shorter than every full grown ogre at best. tiny scrawny boy

i could go on about how they consume me but yeah. fucked up found family <3

[theblacktiecacti]

can you walk us through ur thought process for each sow character design? im actually genuinely so intrigued

OH MY GOSH MY SECOND ASK! Hello hi yes I would love to talk about my thought process in why I draw them the way I do.

I’m gonna put this all under a cut in sections though cause. I kinda wrote/drew a lot.

General Stuff

So generally, when I’m coming up with how I want a character to look, Pinterest is probably one of my biggest tools. I usually just look up “aesthetic [item of clothing they said the character had]” to find ideas and get solid visual reference for a lot of the clothes that I picture the character wearing. I also have a Pinterest board that’s just called “interesting faces” which I scroll through to find the face that I think matches what I picture the character like the most, then hop between suggested pins until I find the right one. I’ve also got one just saved with different body types to do the same thing with. I feel like I still struggle a bit with same face/body type syndrome, but doing this has helped a bit.

Most of the time, the ideas for character appearances come from other characters who have similar vibes or from whatever aesthetic a character associates with. Also, I try to incorporate shape language to indicate character personality in their designs!

Zephrael

I really wanted to lean into the spindly spider theme for him! I tried to keep his limbs pretty thin and his outfit with a lot of protrusions like spider limbs. I might have overdone it on the spider webs a little bit lmaOooo.

Alongside that, I wanted to make him very pointy and sharp. Cause he’s always. on edge. ba dum crash.

I wanted to make sure he had a white cane to assist his blindness! Alongside that as an accessibility device, when I pictured him at first, I imagined him with crutches, but when I was drawing, I couldn’t quite figure out how to get those to meld. My thoughts were either to combine a crutch with a cane, which would cause even more stress on the wrist by having to twist the crutch to feel with the cane, or to have him in a wheelchair with the cane, which IDK how well those could combine if you move with your arms and are holding something. Though he could probably have a powered one with his status. I think if I add the wheelchair at some point, I’d want to make sure it’s still creepy crawly like the wheelchair that Sun Spider had in Across the Spiderverse.

Zeph was actually the only one whose reference photo I saw beforehand, Shout out to the bimbofication Grizzly character chart.

Argentum

When I imagined Argentum, I pictured a cross between Raine from The Owl House and Venti from Genshin Impact who I’ve seen a bunch of times but never actually knew their name until I just looked it up.

When they got described with gray hair, my mind just went “Okay, so they’re older.” Not to mention, if they’ve written a bunch of books, they have to have taken the time to do it.

I wanted to add a bunch of book shapes in their design just to show off their Writerness.

Still don’t know how to add hints to the little grimbly in their head that I do not know much about yet.

The Wall

Oh The Wall, how you challenge me to draw armor.

I wanted to go heavy on the blocky, big shapes, but I wanted to make sure he still felt comforting rather than scary. He’s a knight and a protector, but he’s on our side.

Senshi from Dungeon Meshi is all I could picture while listening to the show. Like if Senshi and Sans from Undertale had a huge knight baby.

I still need to figure out ways to hint more at his heritage rather than just having his connection to Zeph as a forefront.

Phoenix

His name is Phoenix. We have to give him wings; it's the only option.

All I could picture after the hair was described was Casey from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Who is surprisingly similar.

Scarf! I love it when characters have scarves.

He’s so upside down triangle. Just the way he says things without thinking and is kinda snooty and is very kid-ish and immature. Only placed in a position of power because his mentor is busy. He’s very imbalanced but by god is he doing stuff.

Sunder

I had the hardest time with Sunder and it’s definitely pretty obvious.

I originally pictured him more like his actual image which I've now searched.

But after listening to him talk a bit, because I’m bad at placing accents, I just went “Is he Scottish?” and from then on, Sunder was just David Tennant in the baftas, even after I was like hmmm the accent isn’t Scottish, is it.

I also gave him a hat cause his head looked boring. Probably would not have done this if I heard he had horns. Audio listener moment

[heliza24]

Hello!

I'd like to hear your thoughts about August's letter to himself. I was very surprised by it and frankly couldn't believe that his status could have been so low in Hillerska (since he's so close to the royal family) and then turn upside down in a short amount of time. Then again the focus of my attention has never been so keenly on August. I'd appreciate hearing your thoughts.

Also, sorry, if you have already posted about this. In that case, could you point me in the right direction?

Hello! Thank you for this question. I haven’t written about it yet, so let’s talk about it! (Also, I consulted @bluedalahorse on this one as my favorite August expert so you are getting both of us for the price of one.)

I think it’s worth remembering that the Hillerska initiation and prefect system is designed to emotionally isolate first years and make them dependent on third years. August went through a really abusive initiation first thing when he arrived at Hillerska. He was basically sexually assaulted, and part of that assault was the third years laughing at anyone who displayed difference or vulnerability (ie anyone who got turned on from the porn video, or presumably anyone who tried to protest or back out from the “test”). The initiation puts him in competition with his peers right away, and teaches him that the third years hold the key to him either being accepted or laughed at until he himself is a third year and holds the power they do now. The insidious thing about these types of initiations is that they often effectively pull people in to an abusive system. They create a trauma bond between the older and the younger students, and they create a sense of survivors bias— we survived this, it’s just the way it is, and now we must do it (at least to an extent) to the new students under us. So the initiation August went through was effective in creating a sense of inferiority within him. It was also effective in fostering competitive relationships between the Forest Hill boys that don’t have a lot of emotional intimacy. I think you can see that in August, Nils, and Vincent’s relationship as third years.

So that’s one element of it. Another is where August was coming from when he landed in this abusive system. His father had just died by suicide. That means he would’ve been in the pits of grief, but also potentially full of guilt. I don’t think it’s a huge stretch to imagine that he might have felt in someway responsible for letting his father down or felt like he had a duty to be stoic and support his mother (in the same way that Wilhelm did) instead of healthily processing his grief. All those emotions, combined with an environment where he cannot share those emotions, contributed to August feeling lonely and broken in someway.

I think it’s likely that August, Nils, and Vincent became friends early on, but August’s own insecurities kept him from realizing that those friends really liked him, and the Hillerska culture kept him from being really open with them. There’s also the fact that his closeness to the royal family might make him question the genuineness of friendships even more- do they really like me as a person or do they just like me because of my preassigned status? And that could make him more insecure.

So of course he’s going to look at Erik, who has all the power of a third year plus the absolute security of knowing that he belongs and is very valued by his family, and envy what he has. He’s going to see that Erik is well respected at school and he’s going to do everything he can to be close to Erik, in order to emulate him and also to feel like someone is filling that empty father-shaped hole in his life. I think August is clearly a very adept leader and builder of community when he puts in an effort. I think you can see that when he calls the whole room to silence during the sit in. So it’s not super surprising to me that August accomplished his goal and became a powerful player in the Hillerska system quite quickly. 

So those are my thoughts on August’s rocky early years at Hillerska. I hope it was useful!

[bush-viper-cutie]

New Student, New Friend

Pairing: Young Snape x french!reader

Word Count: 2,751

Request: #1 “Hi! Can I request a young!Snape x french!reader where the reader's transferred from beauxbatons and isn't fluent in english/has a thick accent? Love your work!!”

#2 “Hi hi! Love your work! Can I request Young Snape x French reader? Sorry if I dont speak well, english is not my first language <3”

Warnings: none

A/N: Hello everyone again! :D I combined both requests because they are pretty similar so enjoy!

Posted: 9/10/21

Masterlist

---

~*~*~ = time skip

(Y/n) = first name

(L/n) = last name

~*~*~

~*~*~ = POV change

---

~*~*~*~*~ *~

There was a strange static in the air this morning, one Severus couldn't quite place. He brushed his long hair back behind his ear and listened in to the hushed whispers of passing classmates.

"...Beauxbaton, can you believe it?"

"Nice to not know someone for a change - "

Beauxbaton? Severus gathered they were talking about a new teacher perhaps? Although it wasn't that odd to get new professors in the middle of the school year. Just last year the Dark Arts professor was promptly replaced when he went mad after a spell backfired on him; In fact, every year there was a new one.

It was strange that the new teacher should be a transfer from another school such as Beauxbaton... Maybe they were fired and no one else wanted them, must be down on their luck. And if that is the case, how very fitting for Hogwarts, home of inadequacy.

Severus, still deep in his bitter thoughts, almost tripped over the shoe that had extended out in front of him. He caught himself and whirled around angrily. "Watch it!" he growled, straightening.

James Potter smirked. "Oh, Snivellus. Didn't see you there.” His Gryffindor friends snickered behind him, bolstering his ego. "I'd get along to class if I were you. Wouldn't want to be late on your first day back."

Severus grit his teeth and did everything he could to not growl his displeasure of being in so close proximity to the pinnacle of mediocrity that was Potter. It had been a week after winter holidays had ended but after another nearly fatal encounter with Black, he’d been forced to stay in the Hospital Wing un-zippering his mouth and a couple of fingers before being allowed back.

The memory of the experience made his knees weak, making keeping his riled demeanor that much harder. He was lucky he'd had the foresight to cover his nose before Black unleashed his hex. It wasn’t a quick run from the lake to the nurse, and he certainly wouldn't have made it with his nostrils zippered together as well.

"Mind your own business, Potter." Severus spat out his name like rotten apples, furrowing his brows in an attempt to seem more threatening however he could not help but notice the hallways getting emptier by the second. He knew better than to get caught alone with Potter.

He laughed and turned to catch up with his friends. Severus watched him go, only relaxing his shoulders after Potter had rounded the corner and disappeared out of sight. The hall was empty.

He turned and continued down the corridor when his hearing perked at the scuff of loud footsteps. He whirled around, hand plunging into his robes, but it was too late.

"Levipeds!"

Severus' head snapped back as his feet whipped out from under him. He hung limp in the air, watching his wand roll away on the stone floor. His hair nearly touched the dirty ground.

James laughed. "Welcome back, Snivellus!"

He closed his eyes as his boiling blood rushed to his head. He was hanging upside down in the air, alone in the empty corridor. He couldn't scream for help, he'd just get yelled at for disturbing lessons, and he couldn't reach his wand - as long as his limbs might be, his wand might as well have rolled down into the dungeons. He'd have to hang there until classes were over or one of the portraits decided to help him out for once.

"Eh... Excuse moi?" A quiet voice wrapped in a thick French accent broke the silence.

His eyes flew open and stared straight into the face of a beautiful but completely unfamiliar student. She bent down low to meet his eyes. She must be the mystery person from Beauxbaton, the new student as it turned out.

This was worse, so much worse than being caught by anyone else in the school - except for a very select few. Severus looked around in search of anything that might make this all less embarrassing.

"You need help, no?" Her voice was more confident this time, laced with a hint of friendly amusement.

"Uhh..." He met her eyes and hoped this new student would excuse his red face to be due to all his blood rushing down.

She straightened and pointed behind him. "This is your wand? I'll give to you?" His wand was in his hand with one quick flick of her own.

His eyebrows automatically shot up at her use of nonverbal spells. "Thanks," he tried swallowing but ended up coughing. He covered his mouth and performed the counter-hex, dropping to the floor with a grunt.

She rushed forward, looping her arm through his and helping him up to his feet. She laughed and dusted the dirt off his back while he stood paralyzed.

"Better, no?" she smiled, facing him a foot from his stiff figure. "I'm new seventh-year transfer... And you?"

For a moment his mouth opened but no words flew out, and then all at once words poured out as fast as if under a curse. "I'm - oh - yes you're from Beauxbaton, right? Yeah - er - yes, seventh-year as well."

Her hands flew up and she waved them in front of herself with a laugh. "Slow please!" she laughed again. "One more time?"

Severus gave an awkward laugh that matched hers and nodded. "I'm also a seventh-year."

"Oh!" she held out a paper and pointed down to the class he was late for. "I am so lost! You help me now? Oui?"

She smiled up at him and his heart nearly leaped out of his mouth. He nodded quickly, "Yes - er - oui, I'll help you... Actually, that's my class too..."

"Oh!" Her smile widened, "I need partner for the class! You have one?"

For once Severus thanked his unlucky past self. His time in the hospital wing all week meant everyone would be already partnered up. "No, I don't..." his face flushed red again and he cleared his throat, looking away. "We could be partners?"

"Bon! Lead the way, partner," she motioned for him to lead, keeping a very close pace next to him as they walked. "I am lucky to find you, did not know anyone yet. You are only third person met!"

He gave her a small smile as they walked together, but he knew it wouldn't take long for her to find out his status at the school. Being a new student, he was sure she’d make all the friends she could ever want by the end of the day. Then she'd reconsider her luck after everyone tells her all about her lab partner, 'Snivellus'.

~*~*~

They made it to class late. The professor looked up and frowned, ready to tell them off when Severus' new ‘friend’ spoke up.

"Excuse us, Professor, I am new and got lost."

The professor sighed and waved his hand, giving her a pass. "And I see you're back Mr. Snape. Get to your seats, you'll both be working together - get moving."

The two back seats were empty and Severus was glad to be away from the front for once. His new partner set down her things, and as she bent to pick up her books Severus caught a glimpse of Sirius Black glaring at him from the front, a seat behind where Severus had been sitting the last term. Black had anticipated his return and was obviously annoyed with the change in seating.

"What may I call you, Mr. Snape?" The new student whispered, giving him her full attention despite the lesson continuing.

"S-Severus." He looked around to make sure no one was paying attention to him. He'd die of embarrassment if they started teasing him in front of her for daring to open his mouth. "And you?"

She smiled. "Severus Snape? That's a beautiful name." She looked back up to make sure their conversation was still private and turned back. She reached up and gripped his tie, pulling him towards her. She leaned and held a hand to his ear, moving her lips inches from his ear. "(Y/n) (L/n)."

Severus’ heart beat faster than it ever had before. The immense drumming in his ears almost made it impossible to hear her whispers. When she released him, he turned to look at her, feeling his face heat up either from proximity or from her warm breath flowing over his face. "(Y/n)... Good to know." He swallowed and realized he had not moved since she had pulled him towards her. He would have felt like an idiot if she wasn’t looking at him so playfully.

"You gonna kiss her, Snivellus?"

Severus pulled back quickly and clenched his jaw at Black.

The professor smacked Sirius' head with a roll of parchment. "Mr. Black, disturb my class again and I'll assign you an essay for every night this week." Severus smirked. "And you, Mr. Snape," the Professor smacked the board, creating a puff of chalk, "- will hand me your notes tomorrow before class - legible notes, might I add."

Severus nodded as the class snickered and turned away from (Y/n). The rest of the lesson went by agonizingly slow. Severus counted the seconds until he could run away to the library, away from taunting eyes. He hated himself for turning so red, but he hated Black even more for making him the fool.

~*~*~

~*~*~

You could tell the boy, 'Mr. Black', had embarrassed Severus greatly. He was hunched over his parchment, focused completely on the professor's words, and never once looking back up at you.

You read the words on the board but soon your eyes ventured down to look at the tall lanky boy currently trying to visibly shrink in his seat. The moment shared between you both still played on your mind. He had beautiful long lashes and deep dark eyes to match. It had been fun to see him so flustered over you, but the guilt of what you'd caused sat heavily on your chest. That boy had noted Severus had been in the perfect position to kiss her, which... did she kind of wish he had?... Just to see - for just a curious taste.

You didn't know what specifically was so alluring about Severus, but you could imagine yourself wrapped in his arms, pulling on his long hair, biting his lips, and hearing that deep voice of his purring for more. Something about him - or maybe everything about him - made you wonder how gentle those hands of his could be.

The bells rang in the distance, marking the end of the lesson. You packed your things and sat waiting for Severus to do the same. He was slow at first and then after a quick flick of his eyes up to you hurried along.

You stood at the same time and motioned for the door, scrambling to translate your thoughts into English. "Lunch now? We can sit together?"

People filed out of the class, which Severus watched closely before turning back to her and answering. "Look, this isn't the only time… I'm not someone to hang out with unless you like hexes and spells to be thrown in your direction."

You could see the hurt in his eyes, the way his brows furrowed, and his down-turned eyes filled with tears that wouldn't fall. Before you could bring yourself to respond, he sighed shakily, giving you pause.

"It's not your fault... I'll show you down and then I suggest you forget about being friends." He pulled open the door and held it open for you without meeting your eyes.

What could you say to him? You stepped out into the corridor, contemplating how to phrase what you were thinking when laughter pulled your focus.

"I see you've met our Snivellus." The stupid boy, Black, came forward talking to you but keeping his attention on Severus. He had long curly hair nearly as long as Severus' and was taller, with proud shoulders held in a loose demeanor that still made him seem important in some way. His eyes shifted to you, "Hope he didn't drip any snot on you while he tried for a kiss."

You scoffed, “You do not understand what you saw. Please leave us alone.”

“Love, maybe you’re not understanding me. For your own safety I insist YOU leave this sniffling slime alone.” Black took a step closer.

Severus pulled out his wand but held it low, at the ready in an instant. "I’m done with your games. Unlike you, you nitwitted tower troll, I have places to be." He finally glanced your way, "Excuse me," and made to leave.

Black blocked his way, laughing at the now pointed wand in Severus’ hand. "Go ahead, I’ll be glad if you finally get expelled for using wands in the corridors. Mine's not even on me."

You eyed the smirk on his face and the tiny shift of his hand towards his trousers pocket. Was that a lie then? Whatever the case, you had enough of this game too. "My friend, Severus, is showing me to lunch. We are going now." You stepped between Severus and Black, giving the taller boy an annoyed look.

"I’m telling you, be careful," Black chuckled. "He might try to kiss you again if you’re too nice."

You paused and stepped back, looking up at Severus, whose eyes were fixed on Black, staring daggers into him. You bit your lip and chuckled the same way Black had, finding a different kind of amusement than him in this situation. "I hope he will."

Severus' head snapped to you, his cheeks slowly going a light shade of pink all over.

Black made a disgusted sound and a show of his fake nausea. “Darling, I don’t think I understood you correctly. Check your dictionary and if that’s not the problem maybe your eyes.”

This boy was really getting on your nerves now. If you’d been back at Beauxbaton you’d’ve already hexed him into a soggy pile of starter yeast, baked him into the perfect Pain au Levain, and chucked him out the tallest tower window. “Move it,” you made sure your French accent coated the word heavily.

Severus’ hand wrapped around your arm, pulling you back. He kept his wand and eyes trained on Black but spoke to you. “Go down to lunch. I’ll stay here to have the chat Black so desperately wants to have with me.” He looked up again, “Let her leave.”

Black smiled, “That’s fine. Been meaning to ask how your winter holiday was after I last saw you.”

You turned to Severus, ready to protest when the door to the classroom opened, cutting Black off. You all stood very still and awkward, hoping to hide the atmospheric hostility that had been created.

The Professor locked the door with a flick of his wand and looked at everyone with concern. "Off to lunch, no need wandering the corridors. Now." He ushered everyone down the stairs, walking close behind in equal silence.

You reached the floor second to last, after Black and then Severus, and pulled on Severus' arm the second your Professor had turned towards the staff room. You kept your hand on him to make sure he didn’t decide to leave before you could talk to him. Before Black could step towards you to continue the ‘conversation’, other Gryffindor students pulled him towards a small crowd gathering across the floor. Whatever it was seemed to be of higher interest and he left with only single backwards glance.

You both watched him go dissolve into the rowdy group and suddenly the air around you shifted. Severus turned instantly, searching your eyes with an intensity you could almost feel. You blushed and slid your hand down his sleeve and lingered on his bare hand. Neither of you said a word but the electricity connecting your eyes and the comfortable silence that enveloped you both spoke volumes. "We could eat together, no?"

His eyes settled on your hand still on his until you let go. "Oui," he whispered with a smile pulling at his lips. “Lunch then.”

As you both walked on, he slowly crept closer with every step, making your shoulders brush against his arm. His pinky tickled the skin on your wrist, making you cough to hide a giggle as you entered the Great Hall. Your eyes flickered up at his and you smiled, seeing a gentle blush and an even gentler smile on his face.

~*~*~*~*~ *~

Masterlist

—-

General taglist:

@setsuna-meiou31

@severuslovebot

@bionic-otp

—–

[inukag-archive]

Hello! I’m looking for recommendations for a particular trope/genre: Feudal Era AU as @superpixie42 would say. Fics that are Canon-era (Inuyasha-world without Inuyasha plot) but are not quite canon-divergent or fix-it? I’m thinking along the lines of Out of The Woods (Miss_Dyana), Kintsugi, If We Fall Anyway (both Evilillusions), for example. Any other genre/rating is good. Thank you! 💓

Hey @anisaanisa, it's no secret this is one of Mod Pixie's favorite AUs, so thank you for the chance to put this one together!

Shelter by @lavendertwilight89 (E)

Summary: Song fic inspired Stuck with You and Shelter. Inuyasha has been alone most of his life and one moonless night he gets caught up with a young priestess. She saves him and he, in return, helps her. What he doesn't realize is, this priestess holds a lot of secrets which may or may not cost both of them their lives... 

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Demon Nature by @shardetector (E)

Summary: He spoke low and gently, although his voice was gruff with his demon still so close to the surface, “You saved me wench, now I’ll repay the favor.” With that, his muscles bunched in his legs as he sprung up and out of the well, a red blur in the night as he made his way through the forest to his destination. His precious cargo held safely to his chest, as he raced to save her with his demonic speed. 

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there's no place (for us/like home) by guardianKarenterrier (G)

Summary: Slowly, excruciatingly slowly, Inuyasha starts to creep closer to the fire at night. Now that he's not so injured, he's begun to vanish into the woods and come back to throw down rabbits and once a badger at the side of the hut, and Kagome hasn't had to worry about finding enough to eat as the air starts to turn colder. He hardly ever talks to them, or at all, and he won't come close enough to touch- he never comes as close as he had that first day again, but he stays. She's not sure why he stays, but she's glad that he does. 

--

Comfort Food by @splendentgoddess (E)

Summary: Feudal AU one-shot. An ex-miko-in-training stumbles upon a seemingly human man alone in the woods during the moonless night. He seems all alone in the world - just like her. Goodness, when was the last time he had a decent meal? 

--

Half-Breed’s Wife by @gypsin (M)

Summary: On the night of the new moon, a runaway girl stumbles into Inuyasha's life. Little did he realize then what he would be undertaking by saving her. But when Kagome has nowhere else to go will he leave her to her fate Or will he rise to the occasion? And what will the humans think? 

--

Your Lying Smile by @dawnrider (M)

Summary: A beautiful day by the river quickly takes a turn, taking control of her life completely out of Kagome's hands. Her "rescuer" becomes something else entirely before she can get a word in edgewise. A Feudal-esue AU 

--

We Are Family by @theladyofthewest (T)

Summary: Imagine a world in which the Inu No Taisho lived to raise his sons together, as brothers. Inuyasha never had to learn to survive on his own, he never met Kikyo, never heard of the Shikon Jewel. Now imagine if Kagome fell into this world instead of the one she did in canon. Imagine if she and Inuyasha had ... parental supervision. 

--

Oblivion @meggz0rz (M)

Summary: Feudal-era Japan. A war to the death between youkai and humankind. Kagome, rebellious daughter of a noble family, is not about to let her grandfather sacrifice himself in battle. So she takes his place, dressed as a boy and ready to fight to survive. But in love and war, things are rarely as they seem, and there is a spy in the army ranks who just might be Kagome's downfall... 

--

Everybody Wants To Be An Inuyoukai by @superpixie42 (T)

Summary: A birthday one-shot for kstewdeux very vaguely based on the plot of the Aristocats. When Kagome, newly widowed with a newborn son, is named the heir of her mother-in-law's enormous estate things suddenly go from bad to worse. She's drugged, kidnaped, and left for dead on the side of the road. With the help of some unexpected new friends, Kagome finds herself questioning: does she even want to make it back home? 

--

The Shogun’s Daughter by @shnuggletea (E)

Summary: Kagome's father passed away when she was just a child but his Shogun status still makes her a valuable bride to a Lord of lands that border their village. Lord Inuyasha Tashio is pushed by the council into marriage, assured his new bride was an excellent choice. All their fears and anxiety are amplified when they meet. 

--

Timeless and Forbidden Love by lunalibro (M)

Summary: Once, a long long time ago in Japan, demons and other horrid monsters out of nightmares roamed the lands. Wars were never-ending, famine, death and bloodshed abound. Admist this chaos, there lived a great priestess named Midoriko who was renowned throughout for not only her incredible power and fighting prowess, but also for ethereal beauty. She defeated countless demons and staved off many dark evils as the protector of humankind. Eventually, Midoriko fell in love and birthed twin daughters. The eldest was named Kikyo and the youngest was named Kagome, While alike in looks, the sisters were complete opposites. Naturally, these girls inherited their mother’s immense powers. From a young age, Midoriko trained them in combat and in the spiritual arts. The sisters grew in strength and looks. However, Kikyo’s powers had matured far greater than that of her sister’s. Midoriko decided Kikyo shall be the one to take her place as the new protector of Musashi. From then on, Kagome would find herself living in her sister’s shadow. Maybe with the help of a young half-demon named InuYasha, Kagome could realize her worth and possibly fall in love in the process. A forbidden love that will last throughout time. 

--

Beauty and the Hanyou by mishelledor23 (M)

Summary: Inspired by Beauty and the Beast, but Inuyasha style! The terrible half-demon prince Inuyasha is under a fifty-year old curse that keeps him trapped inside his castle. Can Kagome, the reluctant miko-in-training become his friend? Maybe even his love? InuXKag, MirXSan. Lemons and language in later chapters! 

--

For Better or Worse by Anime Wildfire

Summary: Kagome, priestess in training, turns her life upside down when she saves the life of the half demon Inuyasha… and accidentally finds herself bound to him via pesky subjugation beads. This is not how she thought her day- or her life- was going to go.

--

By the Match, Not the Flame by @goshinote (M)

Summary:  Inuyasha is a hellbent hanyo on a mission for revenge. Kagome is a wanted miko on the run. Their intentions align in more ways than one, but secrets abound between them as they partner up during their travels. With an inevitable and impending betrayal looming over them, the pressure rises with every day they spend moving closer to the enemy’s clutches.

--

A Private Affair by JeremyMarsh (T)

Summary:  During a simple patrol operation, Inuyasha, a general in a war between demons and humans that has been going on for two years now, goes all the way across enemy territory to reach the village where his betrothed lived before the conflict broke out. Here he is discovered by her younger sister who intentionally reveals something to him that she shouldn't have.

Shocked, Inuyasha decides to embark on a new and dangerous mission that could cost him his life or worse.

--

Koi no Yokan by @keichanz (E)

Summary: Koi no Yokan: The feeling when you meet someone that you’re bound to fall in love.

A prince discovering a deeper meaning to seemingly random hordes of bloodthirsty demons. A young woman unwillingly sold to a brothel by uncaring relatives, frightened and alone. How could these two circumstances possibly be related?

We are also including the works Anisa mentioned in the ask for those who are unfamiliar

Out of the Woods by @dyaz-stories

Summary: After the murder of Kikyo, the local priestess, the villagers start leaving offerings to the forest's god, who they think they've angered. Kagome, called to the village to replace her cousin, finds out, too late, just how far they're willing to go when they use her as the month's sacrifice. She decides not to go down without a fight — except that, instead of an angry god, she finds herself faced with a hungry half-demon, who's very annoyed he won't be getting a food offering for the month. “What the fuck are you doing here? Where’s my food?” “Oh I’m sorry, am I not a sacrifice satisfying enough?” 

--

Kinstugi by @soliska

Summary: AU. Failing to be chosen as her village's miko, Kagome had resigned herself to a humble life. An unexpected summons returns her to the city where she's forced to reconcile the taught virtues and the spiralling, warped reality created by those that abuse their power. She holds the key to repairing the fracture between humans and youkai, and the freedom of her new hanyou friend.

--

If We Fall Anyway by @soliska

Summary: What if the shikon jewel didn’t exist and Naraku never came to be? What if Kagome fell down the well anyway and met a gruff, young inu-hanyou. Would they still become friends? What would be their story? A tale told in snippets. 

[hematomes]

So I've seen your post about prime Barbatos and (I don't subscribe to either I am open to both interpretations until proven wrong since we stil don't have his pt2 story quest and because of the latest events he is very sus with all mentions of wind and time)

Anyway I take prime Barbatos as him at his strongest and I think the reason so many people think of him being the strongest is because we actually know the least about him from the 3 archons we know, it is insinuated that he kinda is weird about time since his line for hello is like we've met before while everyone else is just introducing themselves as if we've never met plus that line in his story quest "let's meet at the usual spot" everyone took as the Vanessa tree while it was the statue's hands(where we've never been to until this point) so it's almost as if he knows the future/ other worlds or something, there is also the theory that he has never gone all out and always acted as a support (from the revolution to Decabrain to the revolution in the aristocracy which he literally ended with a false signature from morax instead of fighting, to meeting Dvalin for the first time and instead of fighting him in time where dragons were considered monsters he befriended him and so on) as for the construction of Mond the main point people are making about it is that while every archon has done something like that to their nation the only specified places that are constructed in that way of teraforming have been way smaller. Morax and Ei both have done it to a Island each (as far as we know from lore for now) but Barbatos has done it to the whole of Mond with breaking off the tallest mountain. Also if you look at the prolog it seems like he is able to actually show people the past through his songs since both the traveler's and Diluc 's reactions to his songs was "what was that/what did I just see" after the player is shown a clip of the past

But again that can be interpreted in different ways. The people you talk about have interpreted them as him holding back but many also see it as him needing someone else instead of doing it himself(if you look at one of his trailers the 4 winds basically tell him to finally do his job instead of telling others to do it)

So yeah again in kinda in the middle because there is a lot of mystery behind him still so I can't rule out him at his strongest being well the strongest of the archons while I also can't rule out him not being the strongest simply because we have wayyyy too little information about him

Anyway sorry for the rant but I've been obsessing over lore for the past week and when I saw the post I couldn't help it😅

OKAY SO TWO POINTS TO MAKE FIRST

1. thank you so much for providing that much info omg that's very interesting and!!! it does answer some questions

2. don't APOLOGIZE I LITERALLY ASKED WHAT PRIME BARBATOS WAS SUPPOSED TO BE AND YOU ANSWERED THOROUGHLY so once again thank you

now onto the actual subject

i did take into account that barbatos/venti was really secretive, which is interesting bc with mondstadt obvious links to both celestia and the abyss (the gateway to celestia on the statue + the upside down statue)(and that's not taking into account the fact that we start at mond and we meet dainsleif there), i do wonder how they're going to give us more info on barbatos

my main... "problem" with this theory is that it's backed up with very little solid evidence - as you said, it can be interpreted in two ways, and the issue with these theories is that people take it for granted (= my frustration towards the consensus on tiktok that barbatos is the strongest archon in his prime when according to actual, current lore he's in fact said to be the weakest)

the part about him seeing the future etc is also very interesting, because iirc he does know every song ever written? so that's a nice theory! and there's another link with time, what with him being a part of the thousand winds (i can't remember the name BUT i do remember that said 'thousand winds' was one of the primordial one's shades so... yeah)

anyway it does make it clearer!! i like this theory, don't get me wrong (WELL i know you won't but), as i said my real problem is the fact that it's taken for granted when, at the end of the day, it's just a theory that could be debunked bc it's so easy to interpret it in another way. but this perspective is really cool, so!!! once again, thank you for your time <3

[peanut-butter-parkerxx]

non-navigational maps

y/n's new to the giant busy crowds of new york so she wanted to ask someone for help

pairing: peter x fem!reader

status: strangerz

Warning: shy reader (idk if this is a warning but just in case)

y/n's POV

new york sure is loud, like really really loud. but thankfully i found a park or something so i can relax a bit and really look at my map. i couldnt understand a thing. seriously how do people use a thousand subways just to get to one place?

after a few minutes i gave up and tried to ask someone for help which isn't very fun for me considering i barely talk to strangers...too shy for all of that but my familly will murder me if i wasnt home by 6 and most importantly im STARVING. hmm lets see, a mom and her toddler? nah shes probably busy as it is trying to stop her little boys tantrum, the old man in the bench infront of me? yeah why not- nope his ice cream just spilled on his shirt poor thing. i wanted to help him out but someone already did, a boy i think wait no he looks older maybe my age?  i dont know, i can only see his back, his hair looked cute though soft, brown, light, did I mention soft?- ok y/n stop it.

"Damn it!" The old man cursed "should've gon for the vanilla" he shook his head, I laughed his comment, he 'should've' gotten vanilla coz his t-shirt was white and it wouldn't stain that much *laughing* ugh so wholesome

I heard another voice, a much younger voice. I looked up from my god damn map to meet the back of the boy who's helping the guy out, laughing at what he said. His laugh is cute too

"But chocolate tastes better sir, I think you made a great choice" he wiped the excess now I know chocolate ice cream off the old mans shirt

"I always make the right choices kid, the names Stan" the once grumbled old man, smiled just from an act of kindness by a boy my age, he held his hand for him to shake

"Peter, Peter Parker sir" he shook his hand and smiled he said something to Stan which made him laugh. I giggled from their interaction just happy from what I've witnessed. for some reason I find guys my age helping others attractive it really shows me how good of a person this guy is, it makes me feel like not all boys my age are bad, I don't know hopefully I'll see him soon

*A/N: YES IM PUTTING A STAN LEE CAMEO IN HERE, if you didn't ask...The old guy I'm talking abt is Stan lee ;)*

After looking at my map a billion more times to try and not talk to people I gave up again and kept looking around, since there wasn't anyone else in this side of the park I decided to walk, if I'm staying for a while might as well get some exercise am I right?

I walked for a few minutes until I found a group of benches again so I looked for someone unoccupied, not sketchy, and hopefully is in a good mood, till i found a beautiful woman probably in her 40s or something ( but she looked amazing though)

she seemed nice as well, she just had that vibe to her so i decided to ask her, yayy can you feel the sarcasm?? I'm TERRIFIED

she was sitting on the bench, lifting her glasses every once in a while to read the book she had in her hand. i slowly walked up to her, nervous. what should i tell her? that im new to the area and if i couldnt find a Mcdonalds soon ill turn into the next hulk? the nerves seemend to fade away once we we locked eyes, she had brown welcoming eyes, a smile ill probably never forget plastered on her face.

"hello sweetie, what can i do for you?" her voice was like honey sweet, and calming as well.

"oh uhm sorry to bother you but i- i am kinda lost and i-i cant find a burger place kind near the are-" i was a stuttering mess! But thankfully i got interrupted from humiliating myself...by the- who is this guy? Oh wait! That's the guy that helped the old man! Peter? Yeah Peter, Peter Parker

"sorry i took a while aunt may, theres this old guy named stan, he spilled his ice cream all over his shirt so i decided to help him and i bought him a new one! should we go..." the boy trailed off, he looked cute not gonna lie, he had the same features as the woman infront of me, brown eyes, soft brown hair, and a kind spirit definitely. "s-sorry was i interrupting something?" he rubbed the back of his neck embarrassed

"no its okay peter, this lovely lady right here is just lost would you be a doll and help her? im bad at maps as it is" she laughed pointing at me. the second he looked at me blood rushed to my cheeks, he really was cute. i gave him a small wave and a barely audible 'hi' but luckily he picked it up and replied with a 'hey'

"i-im"

"Peter, yeah I know. Kinda heard saw helping the guy out. That's really sweet of you...what you did" I blushed "a-a-anyways I'm y/n" I wiped my clammy hands on my jeans to take the sweat off quickly before he shook them.

"Uh nice to meet you too?" he fiddled with his hands his smile growing bigger with every second he looked at me "y-you needed help?" He asked blushing and also eyeing may like he's frustrated from her or something, I laughed at his face and opened the map in my hands

"Uhm, well i-I'm supposed to go to the 21st street 3rd Avenue or somethig by 6 coz my parents will kill me if I was late since were new here, but I think there's enough time to go find some burger place or something since I'm starving and there should be a Macdonalds around the corner right? Oh my god I'm so sorry I'm rambling...I do that a lot when I'm frustrated.....and hungry haha" I nervously laughed mentally kicking myself for being such an idiot to a boy I potentially liked

"Oh no no, I don't mind. So uh you live in queens?" He started off smiling a bit, I was scared for a second since i didn't tell him about that part how would he know that?

"Oh uhm, I'm from queens and the 21st street 3rd Avenue is in queens" he probably got nervous since he saw my slightly frightened face, but it softened once I knew that he wasn't a creepy stalker or some shit

"Y-yeah yeah queens, sorry" why the the fuck am I apologizing?

"No it's fine, you don't need to worry. You probably couldn't find the 21st because you held the map upside down?" he chuckled flipping the map and I just died in embarrassment like can the floor eat me or something?

"I'm such an idiot oh my god" I face palmed and laughed a little the world has something against me I am sure of it

"No you're not, you're new to the busy subways and noisy streets it's fine" he assured me and continued on chuckling, can this day get any worse? "well ironically there isn't a burger place near this area" well great "but t-theres this deli sandwich shop that I always g-go to, uhm I don't know if you'd like that but it's uh really good" he squeaked red swarming to his cheeks and the tip of his ears

"He can show you, if you want? Since you're new and everything he'll be happy to help" the woman buts in smirking, turns out she's been listening to our conversation than reading her book. She sent Peter a wink and packed her stuff

"But what about the library may, you said you wante-"

"It's ok Peter, just come home before 7 and be safe!" She patted his shoulder and gave me a smile. It all happened so fast but I smiled back. Guess I'm gonna go eat with a handsome stranger?

"Well uhm sorry about my aunt" he cleared his throat "wanna g-go grab a sandwich? It's like 10 minutes away and uh we have like" he checked his watch " 3 hours before it turns 6 so plenty of time..." he trailed off, I could either decline and not explore with a cute boy and get lost again? Or risk it and potentially get kidnapped....yeah the answer is pretty obvious

"..uhm yeah sure, let's go" I ushered him taking the map and stuffing it in my bag "well, after you"

I'm thinking of doing a part 2 idk 🤷🏻‍♀️

Have a wonderful morning/afternoon/evening/night!

-quacksonlover

[mooglesorts]

man. it's weird, because there's a lot of things about me that are Very Badger Primary, to the point where i would probably pick it with a strong bird model over anything else at this point... except that i hate dehumanization. i saw primaries described recently as 'things you wouldn't be you anymore if you went against,' and more than just about anything else that's it. even when i think people are monsters, i can't see them as not human; i'd be hard put to define exactly what i consider a 'monster,' but it's more about like. good faith than personhood, i suppose?

it's not necessarily a permanent status to be one--people can change--but my deeply held instinct is that once you have done something monstrous you will always be a person who has been a monster by your own choices, and that it's your duty to learn how to accept that while still living your life, and act accordingly from thereon out. you have to reconcile that you are a person with the fact that some doors are closed to you now, and it's up to you to decide what you do from there.

just. like. even when i hate someone and as far as i'm concerned they can go fuck themself, even in the multiple Heavily Badger social environments i've been in over the course of my life--church, progressive circles, the way the structure of the internet kind of just affects you in general--even on occasions where i've gotten swept away and given in to the pressure to dehumanize (or perform it) for a minute, there's always, always been a voice in the back of my head saying this is a person. this is a person. this is a person. this isn't right.

unintentional dehumanization sets off my '...should we really be doing this? we are getting into not good territory here, it's time to pull up and start questioning' alarms. explicit, intentional, purposeful dehumanization sets off the whole ass tornado sirens. if people on my side are doing it it's enough to throw me into a system-destabilizing crisis, because NO NO NO I WANT TO GET OFF THIS RIDE, I WANT NO PART OF THESE PEOPLE'S MORAL SYSTEM, I FEEL UNCLEAN. it's a good way to make sure i will never, ever, ever trust someone again.

things that are Really Really Badger, off the top of my head (after the cut because Long and trauma talk):

[[MORE]]

---

-i've always loved playing adoptable games, pet simulators, etc? any game with randomly generated characters that are Yours Now and a Community, in a deeply badgery way. including games where they can die (the satisfying part is making sure they don't). except that, no matter how much fun the gameplay is, if it gets to the point where they start feeling disposable, and the only way to really keep playing is to stop humanizing them, i lose interest. it's super fucking depressing. it feels like part of me dying inside a little. i don't like it at all.

-i've always been drawn to fandoms and roleplaying communities. i was fiercely loyal to, and proud of, my first rp community on dragoncave as a 13-year-old. when my abusive mom found out about it and completely isolated me for half a year, the promise of being able to make it back to them--just sneakier this time--kept me going; when i finally got back and the group had drifted apart in my absence, it.... was absolutely devastating. i never really recovered from it. even then, i spent years trying to get the group back together every now and then, until i finally gave up.

-i am always keenly, painfully aware of the life cycle of a community. every time i hear the sentiment 'you guys are all great and i love this group' my stomach drops, because i know it's only a matter of time before things go sour or the group dissolves. rp groups, skype chats/discord servers, fandoms, you name it, i am always bracing myself or staying away entirely to avoid the inevitable and it hurts. and it hurts to see people taking part in a community i don't dare be part of, which makes lurking in fandoms... really rough. frankly, it takes me a lot of courage every time i express my appreciation for the shc community because i've been burned so many times.

-on that note: i went through some really traumatic stuff at the end of 2020 that completely turned my life upside down, and i was doing bad until i stumbled across the shc community. the moment i started engaging, it was a huge boost to my mental health, and my ability to cope with circumstances under which i was about to break down spectacularly. and it has been ever since! contributing to The Group Project and seeing other folks being friendly with each other gives me the happy feelings.

-i used to go out of my way to build and run spaces, mainly fandom and rp spaces, and took a lot of pride in engineering them so that they Functioned Well. unfortunately it wore me the hell down over the years for Burnt Badger Reasons, and now i'm too jaded, bitter, and exhausted to give a shit about being a mod/community leader anymore because of it lmao

-among those burnt badger things i relate HARD to the Red Ledger narrative. hoo boy.

-i wish i could find it again, but there was an mlp comic i saw once which went into luna's observations of what each element of harmony Means. with the element of friendship, she says that twilight has a massive amount of love to give; right now it's all focused on celestia, but when she learns to expand it outward she'll have grown into her full potential as a person, and she'll change the world. that struck a chord with how i used to feel, hard, and it's really stuck with me ever since. (hello, unhealthy snake model)

-emphasis on 'used to feel,' lmao

-got super invested in a really toxic '''mental health''' community at a low point in my life; exploded HARD trying to help everyone i could; got into vicious, protracted fights with the shitty mods for years about the harmful way they ran their community until i finally managed to go 'fuck this it's not getting better' and leave.

-had to numb myself emotionally to the people around me for a long time once i really started learning about mental health and trauma stuff, because now i was seeing signs of their pain and baggage everywhere i looked, and i couldn't handle not being able to help.

-the imagery with which i think about my bird primary is overwhelmingly negative. whether it's my actual primary or a model, i uh. i feel like a healthy relationship to one's primary doesn't involve associating it with gore.

-i saw a conversation recently about how birds think of morality in terms of 'if you can, you should,' and how that's scary for badgers because their definition of 'can' involves destroying yourself for the sake of that 'should,' and... yeah, that's a mood. that's a BIG mood. thinking about bird primary stuff is hard--and i had to pick up my lion model to deal with it--because it's so easy for me to spiral into a self-shredding spiral of other people are counting on you to do the right thing, how dare you pull back for your own health and sanity. how dare you turn your back for even a minute. how dare you rest. the work is never done.

which is... a very exploded badger approach to exploded bird morality. whoops.

-fix-it and time travel fiction in which Everything Went Right This Time and It's Going to Be Okay are one of my very favorite self-indulgent fantasies. i will enjoy putting characters through the wringer in all kinds of creatively horrific ways which may or may not end on a downer note, certainly, i love that shit, but i will also 90% of the time have a backup version of the arc or dynamic that's softer and lighter and Actually Healthy This Time. it's the dichotomy there that really gets me tbh, a story where Everything Ends Happily by default will mmmaybe pull me in? but stories where there's the constant shadow of this could end horribly, it's supposed to end horribly, and we got a happy fucking ending anyway are just... that shit will make me cry, man.

it's also why i kind of really hate stable time loop stories where it initially looks like this is going to be The Good Timeline this time around, but OOPSIE everything went to shit anyway! we're right back where we started, just like it was meant to be all along! it's a tired cliche by this point and an unsatisfying one for me, and it makes me roll my eyes every time.

-this is relevant to the bird vs. badger because like... my gut instinct is to prioritize people over systems. when shit hits the fan, when someone's fallen into the machinery and is about to get hurt, i don't feel right about it if i just let it happen. i'll break the machinery if i have to to keep it away from them; i won't feel great about that, and it might cause problems, but fuck it, we'll figure it out later. throwing people into the gears of a system when i'm convinced it's the only option makes me feel Awful.

-related to the above, another trope that really speaks to me in fiction is when a character defies the rules of reality through sheer force of will. no, this is not happening, i don't give a shit what the limits are supposed to be. i refuse to let this be the way things are. (there's that lion model.)

-i've just kind of... always wanted to be an Everyone Badger. it makes me sad how much of that i've lost over the years as i've gotten more cynical, but it's what i wish i could be.

---

doubtless i'll think of more the moment i hit send, and there are just as many things about me that are Super Bird Primary, but like... mamma mia that's some spicy badger. the main thing stopping me is the Can't and Refuse to Dehumanize bit. i also... hm. i think i can function okay without a community? they just help a lot, and it sucks when i'm confronted with one i don't have a (stable) place in. any thoughts? is it possible for a bird system's foundation to run so deep that eventually it overrides the bird?

[emiken-070907]

A Different Kind Of Story - Some Tea And Chess

Now that everyone had gathered in the Ramshackle dorm and have met the unexpected guest, Yuko, she decided that it would be time to fulfil her promise; Showing her world to the others.

A Different Kind of Story: Chapter 2

The mirror started to glow again, the figure of the female disappeared. Instead of Yuko, the Main Street of NRC with the statues of the Great Seven. Along the path walked Yuko with a gremlin following her.

"Yukoooo~ It's Saturday! Why do we have to go Heartslabyul~? " The cat-like monster asked, mostly complained, in an annoyed voice while climbing on the girl's shoulder. "Oh, come now, Grim, cheer up! Rosehearts-senpai was kind enough to prepare a little tea party for us. Only our friends from Heartslabyul and us," they explained to the creature on her shoulder.

An unmotivated 'Nyaaa~' was the only answer she got, though.

They both stepped through the mirror leading to Heartslabyul and headed straight towards the dorm.

"Hello? Why is nobody here?" The Prefect of Ramshackle said out loud as she entered the building. She looked around the twisted floors but saw no one. Abruptly, a giggle echoed through the deformed floor. They quickly looked around, seeing nothing again. In the next moment, she felt two hands on her shoulders and could hear the giggles right next to their ear.

"YOU ACTUALLY CAME!"

Yuko and Grim both froze in place. The one who surprised them had her hair in a high, messy ponytail and had cherry red eyes with a red heart painted on her left.

It took a moment for the Ramshackle students to gain their composure again. Yuko then laughed a bit at her friends 'joke'. "Of course, Ace. First of all, I wanted to come. Second, I don't want my head taken." Yuko joked. The other one, on the other hand, answered completely serious. "Yuko-chi, you know god damn well this could've happened. By the way, don't you mean 'Our'? We aaaaalllll would've lost our heads!" The student gestured dramatically. Yuko just shook her head with a sigh, which got her a happy laugh from their friend.

"No, I mea-"

"I hate to admit it, yet Ace is right, you know?"

A second girl with long, navy hair and a spade on her right eye suddenly appeared behind the Ramshackle dorm leader. Yuko and Grim scream in fear, the scream echoing through the halls of Heartslabyul. Why does everyone here scare them or popped out of nowhere? "Deuce, you dumbass, don't scare us like that!" Grim fussed.

-

Together, the four of them walked to the dorm lounge.

As they open the door that leads to the lounge, welcoming came from two students. One had leaf green eyes, orange, long hair -with the top portion tied back into a ponytail while the rest hung straight- and a diamond painted under her right eye. The second one had golden eyes, with her green hair was in a side braid, with a clover painted onto her left cheek. It was pretty easy to tell that they were Trey and Cater.

"Yuko-chan! Grim-chan! Rosehearts-san already awaits you two!" The orange-haired schoolgirl cheerfully said and walked over to the first-years while taking her cellphone out. "Say Cheese~," She said and took a selfie with her underclassmen. "Greetings to you too, Cate-senpai. Also to you, Trey-senpai."

A fifth figure joined the talking girls.

A small girl.

She had long, wine red pigtails, those formed two open flowers, along two strands of hair making a heart on top of her head and slate-grey eyes. Her big gown made her look even more petit.---

She looked adorable.

-

The girls have moved to the dorm lounge to have tea. But the odd thing was they were upside down.

Meaning the table, everything on the table, and the girls themselves were on the ceiling, without falling. As if physics didn't exist.

-

It was so unexpected that Vil even cut in.

"How is this possible? Even the tea doesn't fall!"

Yuko, unfazed, answered the Pomifiore leader in mere seconds.

"Oh, trust me, I would like to know myself. So I can't really explain it to you. I apologize."

"Yuko-san, not to be rude or anything, but you do know the laws of physics and many more things should prevent occasions like this from happening, right?" Azul tried to explain.

The girl knew that Azul didn't mean it in a mean way. Everyone would question what they were saying.

"Fufufu, of course, I do. When I first saw this, I thought I was mad! It turned out they were the mad ones. But this is a topic for a later time. Let's get back on track," Yuko waved the conversation off. A few complaints came with this decision.

-

By the time Yuko managed to convince them that they'll find out what she means, later on, the girls themselves finished their tea. "Thank you very much for the invitation, Rosehearts-san. But Grim and I have to go now. I have promised, Kingscholar-senpai a round of chess yesterday."

"It's quite alright Yuko-san, I hope you'll have a pleasant day", the dorm leader of Heartslabyul dismissed the two visitors. Grim and Yuko said their goodbyes to the others and left off to Savannaclaw.

-

On the way to the second dorm, the boys met another friend of Yuko, Jackie. The beastman (woman?) Already awaited her at the mirror leading to the Savannaclaw dormitory. She looked pretty much exactly like Jack. The only significant change was that her hair was in a low ponytail. The wolf-girl accompanied the two visitors on their way to the dorm leader in an appreciated silence.

-

Currently, Yuko was in the middle of a chess match against her senior.

Grim laid asleep beside Yuko on the enormous bed of her upperclassman, not caring a bit about the chess game.

And in all honesty, they were only waiting until their opponent fell asleep as well, who already was halfway there.

"C'mon, Leona~ Don't fall asleep yet. You don't want to lose against a magicless first-year, don't cha?" As a response, Leona just grumbled something inaudible and flicked her tail.

The Prefect didn't take the magicless part too hard. They knew Ruggie only said that to rail Leona up.

Yuko silently smiled at themselves at the thought.

"You're head is up in the clouds again, herbivore." She quickly snapped back into reality and placed her figure.

"What the hell are you doing? Did you hit your head or what?"

"What do you mean, Kingscholar-senpai?"

Irritated, the lion motioned towards to playboard.

"This. You play like shit today. You're just lucky that you've always realized when I was able to defend you and stopped me." The only thing the third year got was a laugh.

"You may see it like that, I admit. Still, sometimes you have to take a step back and look at the whole picture in front of you."

Leona said nothing at this and decided to drop the conversation at that.

"Ugh, it pains me sometimes to know that you just leave stuff like that on the ground without fearing that somebody steals it!"

Both turned around to Ruggie holding an emerald bracelet. It was absolutely gorgeous. And expensive.

"Why should I? Nobody dares to enter my chambers, and if I'd find out that you've been stealing from me, I would force you to pay me all of that stuff, and you'd have to find a new job."

Ruggie just rolled her eyes.

"First of; That is the sad part: That you can threaten me by firing me and not pay me. Second; As of you'd care so much. I bet you wouldn't even notice if one of your accessories would disappear. You'd solely buy a new one. Enough money for you to do that is providing."

The two continued to argue as if Yuko wasn't even there.

She also didn't even try to do something against it since they knew it would do nothing.

The argument ended by Leona being annoyed and just telling Ruggie of and bringing her attention back to the chess game.

"Wow, I've been arguing and didn't pay complete attention, yet you still suck," the lion said with a smug smile.

"You only look onto the surface of things, don't you? Ignorance isn't a good look on you. Checkmate," Yuko said as she placed her chess piece back onto the board.

Leona's smug smile fell immediately.

"W-what? How?!"

Yuko only smiled while she explained her strategy.

"In conclusion, you've lost your chance at winning after I've made my first move." The second princess eyed them intensely. The Prefect's smile never more falling during the process.

After a minute of staring, the third-year broke the eye contact, rolled on her side and closed her eyes.

"Tch. Don't you herbivores have some other things to do? If yes, leave. Just make sure to put the board aside, and that quietly, got it?"

Yuko gave a recognition hum before moving off the bed, putting the board aside, taking Grim into their hands and making their way towards the door.

"Oh, before I leave." They turn around to their senior to face her. "I find it quite funny that this is one of your ways to handle failure. Just ignoring it. I may respect you, yes, yet you are a sour loser."

After that, she left without another word.

First

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[A/n: Sorry for any grammatical or spelling errors, English is not my first language!]

[btxtreads]

the world ends with you | choi yeonjun (7)

How can someone fall in love at the most incovenient time?

➴ Pairing: Choi Yeonjun x Reader ➴ Rating: R-13 ➴ Word Count: 1.4k ➴ Genre: Multiverse!AU, Fluff, Angst, My usual taehyun is the smartest out of everybody trope

October 2005.

Choi Daniel - Subject KR99-1 Korean Descent; September 13, 1999 6 years old. Powers: Telekinesis; Reality Manipulation Current Status: Not hostile. Family escaped laboratories—left boy abandoned. Tests ongoing.

The small brown-haired boy with sparkling eyes full of wonder gasped as the man donned in a white doctor’s coat sat down on the chair in front of him.

“Hi, Dr. Song!” he greeted brightly, eyes almost disappearing with how much he smiled.

“Hello, Daniel. How have you been doing in Montauk so far?” Dr. Song asked as the boy fidgeted in his chair—ever the over-excited child.

“Hm, nothing!” He replied, letting his feet kick. “I just miss mommy and daddy. I haven’t seen them for two years, you know!”

“You’ll be with them soon, Daniel, but for now you can behave right?”

“Yes.”

“What a nice boy, you deserve a treat!” The doctor replied, pulling out a small bag of cookies. “Just for you, Daniel.”

The boy giggled and took a small bite of the cookie, opening his mouth to gasp—letting cookie crumbs fall out as he snapped his head over to the doctor.

“You know what would be nice, Dr. Song?”

“What?”

“A planet made out of candy!” Daniel cheered, throwing his hands up, “Imagine how cool would that be?”

The boy then launched into a lengthy narration of all the details regarding his makeshift candy universe.

“You know, that candy world is so unhealthy—you’ll have cavities and have all your teeth fall off. Would you like that to happen?” Dr. Song started.

The boy hummed, tilting his head.

“Hm, I guess not,” the boy shrugged.

“Dr. Song, please proceed to the control room. This is an urgent matter.”

As soon as he bid another farewell to the boy and closed the door, Dr. Song booked it to the laboratories to see a large image on a satellite.

It was a giant pink planet with white swirls.

“What is this?”

“Sir, it was a planet that suddenly popped up on our GPS a few minutes ago. It was tracked around the Andromeda Galaxy, so we immediately got our nearest satellites to pick up a footage. Should we forward this to NASA?” A correspondent asked.

“Do we have a feed? Show me a live,” Dr. Song asked, holding back a wince as the correspondent pulled up the live footage from the satellite.

“Is-Is that a giant lollipop?” Dr. Song gasped in horror as the camera zoomed in.

He gaped in surprised as clouds of blue cotton-candy looking haze flew by.

“Daniel,” The doctor gasped, holding a hand to his mouth as he backed away.

Before he could do anything else, there was a large blast on screen—then there was no more footage.

“What happened?”

“I think the planet exploded, sir? The GPS is picking up no traces of the planet,” The correspondent replied, typing in various codes of command to the satellites. “We can’t contact the satellite either. We’ll be sending a new one to this course,”

Dr. Song nodded firmly, making his way out and back to Daniel’s room where the child lay in bed—nibbling on his cookies and letting a book float in front of his face, automatically flipping as his eyes moved.

Choi Daniel was too powerful for his own good.

Choi Daniel has to go before he endangers the world.

Fortunately for him, he was Choi Yeonjun—but he wouldn’t know that.

He didn’t even know Choi Daniel.

All he could remember that he was in a big accident—he went on coma for two years before waking up surrounded by people with no memories.

He was eleven years old at the time, and he was told that his name was Choi Yeonjun.

He never got those memories back—no one bothered to tell him about it and he just didn’t find the interest in remembering all that stuff.

He lived New York with his grandfather, got in an accident, got into a coma and woke up in Korea.

That was all he needed to know, honestly.

However, the day he woke up in Korea was also the day he got all the ugly nightmares.

He’s been living with constant pain, paranoia and anxiety as he wakes up each and every night out of breath and clutching his neck, swearing up and down that he could almost feel a knife slicing through his neck.

All these thoughts muddled inside his brain as he hung upside down on the sofa, his phone stuck on his ears as Soobin surfed the television channels on a proper sitting position beside him.

“Grandpa,” Yeonjun sighed. “Why am I not allowed to go visit you in New York again?”

“It’s safer there in Korea, Yeonjun—I will visit you instead.”

“But I kinda want to see New York too, you know? Maybe a familiar sight can jumpstart my long-lost memories,” Yeonjun huffed.

“Stay where they can’t find you!”

Yeonjun blinked in confusion and Soobin turned to him with a weirded out gaze.

“I heard that, what’s that about?” Soobin whispered.

"No idea, honestly,” Yeonjun shrugged, sighing before he turned back to the call. “Okay, okay. I have to go grandpa. I love you,”

Soobin rolled his eyes and continued to click and click and click on the remote.

Yeonjun hung up and groaned, letting his body fall down on the couch sadly.

“What?”

“I miss my girlfriend!” Yeonjun whined, making Soobin groan.

“You are actually so disgusting,” Soobin said, fake gagging as he switched the channel on the TV once more—stopping at a news channel.

“We advise citizens to stay at home as the thunderstorm approaches Seoul. In another news, three tornadoes simultaneously hit three different locations in South Korea. There are reports of casualties and damages worth millions of dollars. Here’s Chae Sun Jae with a report live from one of the locations.”

Yeonjun gasped as Soobin winced.

“Holy shit, it’s like the world is ending,” Soobin said, flinching as thunder cracked outside the apartment and the heavy pitter-patter of the rain started. “Is that the storm?”

“I guess,” Yeonjun said distractedly, gazing up at the ceiling.

Soobin frowned, turning back to the television and continuing his channel surfing.

“Are you okay, hyung? You seem distracted,” Soobin asked.

“I’m fine, I guess. It’s just confusing me why my grandpa wouldn’t let me back to New York,” Yeonjun sighed.

“I mean, you did get into a coma there,” Soobin shrugged.

“Well, yeah, but it’s not like I’m gonna die when I get back there,” Yeonjun snorted, straightening up on the couch.

Soobin shrugged.

“Whatever,” Yeonjun sighed. “I wonder how Y/N is doing—“

“If you could, like, stop being obsessed for your girlfriend for a second, that’d be great—“ Soobin whined, stopping shirt when the doorbell sounded. “Not it,”

“You always do this!” Yeonjun complained.

He got up anyways, presenting Soobin with a wide smile and a middle finger when the boy chuckled in victory.

He trudged over to open the door, grumbling.

“Hi, we didn’t order anything—“

“Yeonjun.”

Yeonjun looked up at the visitor, gasping when he saw Y/N standing on their doorway—dripping wet from the rain as she panted.

“Y/N,” He gasped.

Immediately, the girl launched herself on him with hands grasping on his cheeks.

Her were screwed shut as she pressed her lips on his.

Yeonjun’s hands wrapped around her waist as he melted into the kiss.

“Baby, I missed you,” Yeonjun said, pulling away and leaning his forehead on hers. “You were gone for three days, and Taehyun said you had an emergency. I couldn’t contact you—I thought you didn’t want to talk to me anymore,”

“Of course not, I would never,” Y/N shook her head, planting another soft kiss on his lips.

Yeonjun smiled, tilting his head.

“Why are you wet?” Soobin asked, appearing behind Yeonjun.

“Yeah, let me explain. Sorry for getting your clothes wet, Junie,” Y/N said, entering the apartment and closing the door.

Yeonjun shrugged, crossing his arms.

“What’s wrong, Y/N?”

Y/N pursed her lips, leaning on the kitchen counter as she narrowed her eyes at Yeonjun.

“Montauk, New York.”

Soobin’s eyes widened as he pointed at the older.

“Montauk! That’s where he grew up and got an accident in,”

Yeonjun frowned, eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

“What?” He asked. “How—Babe, I never told you about New York,”

“That’s because you don’t remember anything. You aren’t supposed to,” Y/N ran a hand through her hair. “Yeonjun, you’re a patient from Montauk, New York, and frankly—you’re not supposed to be alive,”

[leverage-ot3]

notable moments from The Homecoming Job

leverage 1.02

Dr. LeRoque: Pardon me, Mr. uh?

Nate: Oh, uh, Nathan Ford. You’re Dr. LeRoque?

Dr. LeRoque: Can I talk to you outside?

Perry: Doc, he’s cool, I found him on the internet.

Dr. LeRoque: Yes, that never goes badly. (to Nate) With me.

Nate: Uh… I’ll be in touch.

(Perry hands him the flash drive and Nate follows the doctor out of the room)

okay but big mood “I found him on the Internet” “that never goes badly”

but also,,, bruh we NEED to know how their clients found them,,, like ??? H O W

- - - - -

Dr. LeRoque: You can’t just come in here and get his hopes up!

Nate: I’m just here to provide options.

Dr. LeRoque: There are no options.

Nate: The Veteran’s hospital …

Dr. LeRoque: Is 400 miles away and has a five month waiting list. Everybody in that rehab room is a reservist. When reservists get out they get sent home no matter where home is or how far it is from the treatment they need. Nobody thought this through. We’re not a rich hospital, I cashed in every favor I had to take care of these kids for as long as I could but I have to go back in there and tell Perry we can’t treat him anymore. I have to do that. Run your scam on somebody with money.

Nate: It’s not a scam. I’m here to help.

Dr. LeRoque: People don’t just show up to help. That’s not the way the world works.

leverage really called out the us government’s negligence and neglect for veterans in episode TWO and we stan them so hard for it

leverage said “go big or go home” from the VERY beginning

- - - - -

[Audition Room]

Sophie: Why? Why? I can’t live like this anymore. With the lies and the filth. No. Help me. I want to be clean. I want to be clean.

(two directors watching are overwhelmed by just how awful Sophie is)

Rogers: Yeah, you understand this is a soap commercial, right?

Sophie: Uh huh. When I thought about Peggy I came up with this idea that the dirt was really this giant metaphor, for sin.

(Sophie’s cell rings, she glances at her purse)

Rogers: You should take that. No, no you should take that.

Sophie: Oh. (answers phone) Hello? When? (hangs up) Peggy killed her first husband.

Rogers: Thank you

I literally scream every time I LOVE SOPHIE S O MUCH WHAT THE FUCK

- - - - -

[Parking Lot]

(one man is laying on the hood of a car and another falls on top of him. Eliot turns away from the car as the last man pulls a gun on him. They stare at each other for a moment, then a phone rings)

Eliot: That you or me?

(man seems unsure as the phone continues to ring)

Eliot: Could be important. Does your mama have your number?

(man looks down and Eliot grabs the gun, punching the man in the neck. The man goes down, choking. Eliot unloads the gun and tosses it away before pulling out his phone and answering it)

Eliot: Yeah? Nothing, why?

“nothing”? I’m-

- - - - -

(guard walks by a painting hanging in a museum gallery. He looks away for a moment, and when he looks back a rope is dangling where the painting had been. A cell phone rings)

Parker: Parker. Shh. No, I wasn’t shushing you.

I love her, your honor

- - - - -

(Parker, Eliot and Sophie come around the corner and head down the hall)

Parker: From the first job?

Eliot: Yeah.

Parker: I put all that money in a Swiss bank account.

Eliot: Millions of dollars and you didn’t buy anything?

Parker: I don’t like stuff, I like money.

Sophie: I bought a little retirement home, an island.

Eliot: Nice.

Sophie: In Dubai. And Tokyo.

Parker: What about you?

(they reach the door which has a small envelope with Sophie’s name written on it. Sophie takes it off the door and opens it)

Eliot: Yeah, I’m not about to tell two known thieves what I did with a multi-million dollar payout.

Sophie: Don’t you trust us?

(Eliot doesn’t answer.)

- - - - -

Hardison: This is our new cover story. Welcome to Leverage Consulting and Associates, founded in 1913 by the great Harland Leverage the Third.

(Hardison points to a painting on the wall of an older man that greatly resembles Nate)

Sophie: I’m sorry. Nate is going to kill you.

Eliot: Did you paint that?

Hardison: I’m gifted.

Eliot: That’s weird

HARLAND LEVERAGE THE THIRD

- - - - -

Hardison: Now Leverage Consulting Inc. is squeaky clean, all corporate taxes on record as being paid for the last ninety years. (He gives them each a cell and a folder) All your identities as partners, your payroll taxes are paid, you guys have pension plans and dental, those are employment records, case files and company newsletters.

(the group walks the halls of the Leverage offices as they discuss the files)

Parker: In 1998 I won the sack race at the 4th of July picnic. Cool.

Hardison: Now these, these are your offices. Now you can bring something like a photo, you know what, a plant! I’m a big supporter of dandelions.

hardison goes hardcore when coming up with backstories

- - - - -

(Hardison opens doors to a conference room that holds a long table with many chairs around it. One wall is dedicated to large TV screens)

Sophie: Nice.

Eliot: My man.

Hardison: Long version or the short version?

Sophie: Short.

Eliot: Short version.

Parker: Shortest.

(Hardison hits a remote the TV screens illustrate his explanation)

Hardison: Photo and video forensics programs, back doors into every electronic banking system in the world, running heuristic data crawls all over the news sites to find our clients, oh also!

Parker: This is the short version?

Hardison: Facial recognition database tied into CIA, NSA and the FBI. But, the real pièce de résistance (changes screens to sports games) DirectTV HD Total Sports Package. NFL, NBA and I threw in a little bit of hockey ‘cause I know you people like that.

Eliot: Hockey.

hardison nests SO HARD

like, bring in all the highest tech into your cozy new office you designed for you and your fellow adopted criminals? heck yeah

- - - - -

Nate: Our client is the cameraman. Corporal Robert Perry. He says that the Castleman contractors spooked and started firing.

Eliot: 5.56 NATO rounds mixed in with some 9 mils from the sub-machine guns. Insurgents would have used AK-47s with 7.62 ammo. It has more of a... (hits the back of his hand to his palm) crack. Contractors shot 'em up all right.

Parker: You ID’d the weapon from the gunshot sound?

Eliot: It has a very distinctive sound

D I S T I N C T I V E

- - - - -

Nate: Yes, and lobbyists in every office in Washington, DC. The problem with a cover-up is all the paperwork it takes to keep the lies straight.

Hardison: Internal emails, memos.

Nate: Exactly.

- - - - -

[Roof]

[Hardison and Parker are wearing black and connected to repelling gear)

Hardison: I gotta go back to the office I just remembered something.

Parker (adjusting Hardison’s harness): What?

Hardison: I just remembered gravity and the squishiness of all my manly bits.

Parker: I designed this rig myself. The line is carbon fiber. Five point harness. Weight support here, here, and here. Auto-breaking resistance on the main pulley back here.

Hardison: Okay cool, so it’s tested?

Parker: Not yet.

Hardison: Not yet? When the hell was you gonna test it?

(Parker pushes Hardison off the roof. She smiles, he screams)

Parker: Big baby.

(she jumps after him. Hardison screams until he stops upside down. Parker lowers herself to his side)

Hardison: Seriously? Seriously

hardison’s first time rappelling decidedly Did Not Go Well

- - - - -

Sophie: My company’s focused on meeting senators, but I’m thinking congressmen.

DuFort: You know the great thing about congressmen? Fifty, a hundred grand well spent will get one elected, but then once they’re in the incumbency rate is over 95 percent so you can get an average 18, 20 years’ use out of one of them. In these uncertain times buying a United States congressman is one of the best investments a corporation can make.

[DuFort’s Office]

Hardison: Oh I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. I’m a professional criminal and I find that disturbing

they’re going at america’s THROAT in this one and I love it. thank you john rogers

- - - - -

(while DuFort is distracted Sophie pulls out his wallet and removes the RFID card with her teeth. DuFort takes off his coat to look at the stain)

I am but a simple gay and this was Hot™

- - - - -

the phones hardison gave the team have six main buttons: internet, text, files, to-do, id scan, and mail

- - - - -

Nate: Parker, what’s the status of the voicelock?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Uh, I’ve been sampling DuFort’s speech but I still need a few more sounds.

[Private Party]

Nate: How many?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Well I only need the sounds puh, tuh, oo, ah, eh, oh, ah, ke, a, ef.

[Private Party]

Nate: Ah, only those. Eliot.

(Eliot walks by carrying two trays of appetizers)

Eliot: I’m on it. Pardon. (approaches Sophie and DuFort) Hello.

Sophie: Ooh. Mmm.

Eliot: (to DuFort) Appetizer, sir?

DuFort: Sure, what do you got?

Eliot: I’ve got the pâté d’escargot avec bière d'Argentine and (looks at second tray and grimaces) what looks like old duck, kind of greasy.

DuFort: I guess I’ll have the first one.

Eliot: Of course.

(Eliot offers him the second tray and Dufort looks at him expectantly)

DuFort: Well? May I have some?

Eliot: The greasy duck?

Sophie: Oh, no, no, no, I wouldn’t have the greasy duck.

Eliot: No I wouldn’t suggest it.

DuFort: No, the other one.

(Eliot pretends confusion)

DuFort: The the pâté d’escargot with the bière d'Argentine!

Eliot: Excellent choice sir (gives DuFort the first tray).

DuFort: (takes food) Who is this clown?

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Pretty good. Got most of them. Okay, now all I need is ef, uh and kuh.

[Private Party]

(DuFort spits out the appetizer he has taken)

DuFort: This is shrimp!

Eliot: Very good then. (walks away)

DuFort: It’s shrimp you stupid F----!

[DuFort’s Office]

Parker: Oh, there they are. Really loud too

parker being so competent and knowledgeable about voice activation codes? amazing. iconic.

and the whole scene with eliot and the food? hilarious.

also there already another meta post about this but this scene shows just how SMART eliot is,,, like coming up with that on spot??? don’t get me wrong, hardison is “the smartest man [any of them know]” but damn

- - - - -

continuing list of non-weapon objects eliot uses as weapons:

an IV stand

+ bonus

nate: the defibrillator/AED

- - - - -

Perry: Mr. Ford!

(Perry pushes a defibrillator towards Nate, who grabs the paddles. The first man runs toward Eliot with a knife, but Eliot grabs his arm and pushes him toward Nate)

Nate: Hello.

(Nate hits the man in the chest with the defibrillator paddles and he flies backward, unconscious)

eliot looking Impressed™ at nate for that

- - - - -

Eliot: Play time’s over Nate, it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. The tall one, the way he used a knife, ex-Marine, probably Force Recon.

Hardison: You ID’d a guy off his knife-fighting style?

Eliot: It’s a very distinctive style.

two distinctives in one episode

- - - - -

Hardison: I didn’t sign up for any of this. What I did before, nobody got hurt.

Sophie: I stole paintings for a living.

Parker: I never hurt anybody.

Eliot: I actually hurt people, so…

LMFAO eliot but also- notice that sophie never said that she never hurt people, she just said she stole paintings for a living

- - - - -

Sophie: Nate, if anything had happened to this kid--

Nate: You know you guys called on me. You remember? You begged me to run the crew, agreed to play by my rules. Now walk out if you have a problem with that. Walk out any day if you have a problem with that. It’s simple.

(everyone looks hesitant)

Eliot: We finish this one.

Parker: Just one

PSH like any of y’all believe that

- - - - -

Hardison: How do we hit ‘em?

Sophie: Congressman Jenkins, he’s our in. Looked me straight in the eye and told me he’d never even heard of the shooting.

Parker: So?

Sophie: Looked me in the eye? When men are telling me the truth they’re not looking me in the eye. A man only ever looks a woman in the eye when he’s making the effort to lie to her.

Eliot: ...Well you can’t argue with that.

Hardison: Noted and filed

LMFAO

- - - - -

Nate: All right, Jenkins is DuFort’s pet congressman, let’s see if we can get him to bite. The best way to get two people to reveal a secret, get ‘em to turn on each other.

- - - - -

Sophie: You should look out for the signs congressman. Missed phone calls, no more little favors.

Jenkins: Those are the same signs that your wife is cheating on you.

Sophie: That’s right.

Jenkins: What am I supposed to do when that happens?

Sophie (hands him her card): Play the field

- - - - -

Hardison: Congressman Jenkins is very careful. No direct bribes but he’s renovating his house and so far he’s received over $600,000 worth of work for a little over fifty grand.

(Hardison brings up pictures of Jenkins’ house on the screens)

Eliot: Castleman owns the contracting company, huh?

Hardison: I mean, he’s going through like three shell companies but yeah. And this man loves his house. Just check out his web browsing habits.

(Hardison changes the image to a website for wood panels)

Hardison: Look here, see the man spent three weeks picking out the perfect mahogany wood panels. This site is like wood porn.

Eliot: Is his house finished?

Hardison: Not even close.

Eliot: Can I borrow your phone?

Hardison takes out his phone, dials for Eliot and hands it to him.

Eliot (on phone): Hello? Yes, I’d like to cancel delivery on some mahogany wood paneling. Please.

(Hardison tries to help, Eliot walks away)

Eliot: The Jenkins house. Yeah, you know what, do me a favor man, just go ahead and cancel the whole order. Yes sir.

(Eliot leaves the room as Nate enters with a bowl of popcorn and two beers)

Nate: What’s he doing?

Hardison: Yanking the congressman’s chain

I love chaotic (pre)boyfriends

plus at one point it high hey looked like they were holding hands

and eliot’s SMILE at hardison ,,, you soft man, you never stood a chance

- - - - -

Hardison: A woo--whoa, whoa! A wood-- a wooden box?

Nate: A wooden box.

Hardison: Wood? Well, we can put a man on the moon but all our laws go into a wooden box.

- - - - -

Hardison: I mean, break a law, everybody’s done that, my mama’s done that but steal a law. Oh, she’s gonna be a legend baby.

(on screen, C-SPAN news shows the Senate floor where Parker is walking to “The Hopper”. She waves at the camera and puts the fake bill into box.

Parker: The eagle has landed.

Nate: It’s in!

Hardison: Uhn! Go ahead girl! Sexyness! Unh. Rrrnnn.

Nate: Might want to ease up on that a little bit.

Hardison: Just saying.

Nate: Yeah.

Hardison: Between me and you. Between me and you.

Nate: Never leaves the room.

adorable “the eagle has landed” parker + already-gone-for-her hardison ,,, I love it here

- - - - -

(also, again I am reminded that there is a 250 text block limit so imma have to make a part two and apparently this is my life now)

[yoimeta]

Hi everyone! I noticed recently that the "KAZAKHSTAN 101 OR HOW TO OTABEK" post seems to have been taken off of tumblr? The author's whole blog seems to have been wiped. Do you know if this is archived anywhere? Is there a mirror, say, on Ao3?

Hello!

Thankfully, I managed to find what I believe is the original post. Here it is! The post is archived in plain text under the cut.

Hope this helps!

- Ji

Source: @sawyer-aik

KAZAKHSTAN 101 OR HOW TO OTABEK

THERE YOU GO YURI ON ICE FANDOM.

Disclaimer: this is in no way a fully comprehensive guide. This is just me trying to put together basics for people who are unfamiliar with Kazakhstan/Kazakhs to start their writing/research.

I am an ethnic Kazakh female, citizen of Kazakhstan, Almaty, bisexual, upper middle class, currently in college in the US. My experience is in no way representative of all kazakhs and Kazakhstan citizens. However, I think it’s pretty close to Otabek’s.

This is really, really long and kinda convoluted, but if you can bear it –– welcome!

Name: Many people have talked about Otabek’s name. This is how you shorten it –– “Bek”, “Beka”, or “Beks” if you wanna be really familiar and laid back.

Kazakhs don’t have middle names, we have patronymics. They are formed like this: the father’s name + ‘uly’ if the child is a boy or ‘kyzy’ is the child is a girl. For example, Otabek’s childrens’ patronymics would be Otabekuly and Otabekkyzy.

About Almaty and almatinians: Ok I’m so happy Otabek is from Almaty, I really don’t know much about life in other cities or rural areas. Almatinians rarely do. Comparing Almaty lifestyle to the rest of Kazakhstan is the same as comparing NYC to the rest of America –– it’s not representative of the quality of life in the country, like, at all.

Almaty has 2.5+ million population, and it grows every year. It’s a cultural and economic centre of the country. Apples originate from Almaty (!!!), hence the name from “Alma” –– apple. Almatinians are usually stereotyped as fast, brash and snobby –– kinda like New Yorkers, right? Almaty is much more tolerant and progressive, and also more ‘Western’ than the rest of the country in terms of mindset. Almatinians kinda look down on non-Almatinians, and really dislike the capital Astana because of all the funding and attention it gets.

Almaty has a great ethnic diversity –– main groups are Kazakhs, Russians, Uygur, Koreans, Germans, Jews, Uzbek, and many more. Though stereotypical jokes are generally acceptable, outright hate and discrimination against an ethnic group is not tolerated. Many foreigners visit here for business –– mostly Americans, Western Europeans and Chinese.

Almatinians love: coffeeshops, mall sales, cool cars (Hello Otabek’s motorcycle), smoking hukkah and vaping. They are usually concerned with status and try to show off their wealth. You can see people of all kind of different style and background in Almaty, fashion shows are held there, contemporary art and indie-music congregates there, along with all kinds of fancy ass crowd. It is a really interesting and kinda exhausting scene, especially if you are young and wanna have fun.

Language, culture, food, etc.

As an Almatinian Kazakh, Otabek is definitely fluent in both Russian and Kazakh, and probably has a very good grasp on English. He is a master of shala kazakh. Shala kazakh is a magic language that only city Kazakhs are privy to. It’s basically a wild mix of kazakh, russian and some fashionable english slang thrown in there. It’s usual for me to start a conversation with “OMG bro” and then kinda pull my speech together, substituting kazakh and russian words with each other and pepper it with “cool”, “ok” and other english exclamations. It’s not grammatically correct and is kinda lowbrow, but we all do it. Yes, even our parents. This is how Otabek sounds when he is talking to someone from home. Terrifying.

Nuclear family: City Kazakhs usually have two or three kids. That’s less than people have in rural areas. Children are important in Kazakh culture because they carry the family’s bloodline and history, especially boys. If you headcanon Otabek as having brothers and sisters, you are probably right! His family should be at least sort of wealthy to afford all the expenses of having a professional athlete for a child. Otabek has an expensive bike and his clothes look high-end –– he is definitely not poor.

Family in general. Kazakhs are close, VERY CLOSE to their family. Mind you, family is not just parents and siblings but also your grandparents, aunts and uncles and like all 173 cousins and nieces and nephews. Everyone is ridiculously involved in your life, always there with advice and complaints. You stay connected to your parents when you move out, when you get married, when you have kids, when you DIE. When Otabek misses the weekly skype dates or check-in phone calls, HE IS SHAMED SO HARD. Do you know grandma is worried about you, think about how old she is! Otabek’s relatives brag about his achievements like they moved him up the career ladder personally, with their own two hands. There’s nothing Otabek can really do about it tho he gets annoyed

Food: city Kazakhs have a very diverse cuisine. Traditional kazakh food is like 50% batter and 50% meat and takes long ass time to prepare so we reserve it for the holidays. My family loves fish, russian dishes such as borsht and blini, Uzbek lagman, Korean kimchi tho we try to avoid pork. And it’s not like we choose one day as a “Russian cuisine day”, we just kinda??? Deside to have some borsht today?? Almaty has lots of different restaurants, almatinians love sushi, pizza and pasta, shashlyk, all kinds of experimental foods and trying new things. Kumys –– mare’s milk –– is one of the things you should try in Kazakhstan as a turist, but I know many kazakhs who have never had it or don’t like it. They say it’s really good for you tho.

Holidays: ethnic Kazakhs in Kazakhstan celebrate: birthdays, New Years, Eid al-Adha which we call Kurban Bairam, Independence Day on December 16th and Nauryz on March 22nd. Young people kinda have get togethers on Halloween because it’s fun and a reason to hang out. Nauryz is one of my faves, it’s a pagan holiday of coming of spring and new life. On Nauryz, Almaty is adorned with flowers, yurts and giant swings are set on the city square, people wear traditional clothing and dance and play and eat a lot. My family also ended up celebrating Eastern Orthdox Christmas and Easter because each year our Russian friends invite us to hang out and celebrate with them, lol.

LGBTQIA+

Main principle is “Don’t ask, don’t tell”. General conflict avoidance protocols are in place. I personally know like 3 LGBT friendly hubs/clubs in Almaty. Nobody explicitly says “gay clubs” but people just kinda know what and where those are. There are get togethers and meetings you can attend to meet people, you can hang out with your significant other in public, hug, hold hands and no one would probably say anything. Colleges and universities are generally safe places, many of my friends are out in their college and don’t face any trouble. PDA will be frowned upon, but all PDA is generally frowned upon in Kazakhstan, even hetero. Feminist and sex-positive initiatives try to educate the populace and break the status quo, and are doing really well but the government’s disposition is homophobic. If your family is religious or traditional, they probably wouldn’t go as far as disowning you, but will probably pressure and guilt-trip you. LGBT+ youth generally plan to move somewhere else or just not settle. All of this is Almaty situation tho. Being LGBT in rural area is much more dangerous.

THE BEST PART: VOCABULARY

Ok this is what I find to be the easiest way to explain Kazakh to English speakers: think Turkish but written in cyrillic, with words borrowed from Arabic and Russian.

Endearments:

zhanym, жаным: my soul. Zhanym is everything to a Kazakh. You can use it for your family, friends, SO, I called my laptop zhanym today. It can be flirty, it can be serious. If you need Otabek to be affectionate with someone, use zhanym.

ainalaiyn, айналайын: really hard to translate but something like my precious?? Usually used towards small kids, but also if a Kazakh finds something really cute.

altynym, my golden baby. I love this one for obvious reasons, lol, hi, Otabek.

Mahabbatym, махаббатым, my love +

Suiktim, сүйіктім. my love, my dear. Kinda old fashioned but really romantic. I can see Otabek using this, but he will be teased and called an old sap if he does.

Kazakh have a lot more endearments, but most of them are for children.

Basic interaction and exclamations:

Iya. Ия. Yes.

Zhok. Жоқ. No

Rakhmet. Рахмет. Thank you.

Keshir. Кешір. Sorry.

Salem, Сәлем. Hello. A familiar greeting.

Sau bol, Сау бол. Literally “Be well” but actually means goodbye. Pretty familiar too.

O Kudai, О Құдай/O Allah, О Алла! Oh my god, obviously. Used in all kinds of different situations.

Oibai, Ойбай! How does one explain oibai. When a friend jump scares you, when you receive bad news, when you check your bank account –– oibai!

Abai bol, Абай бол. Be careful, is what your mom tells you when you go out.

Expletives and Swear Words. Yeeaaah the juicy stuff.

Zhyndy, Жынды. Crazy. If someone is being stupid or inappropriate, you call them zhyndy. When you tell a dumb joke at the familty table, mom smacks you upside the head and hisses “Ooooi, zhyndy!” When Jean-Jaques is acting a fool and makes out with his reflection, Otabek rolls his eyes and mutters “Zhyndy”.

Akymak. Ақымақ. Idiot. When someone is just dumb and not worth your time.

Ittin balasy. Иттің баласы. Child of a dog. It can be as harmless as “you pup” and as offensive as “son of a bitch” depending on the situation.

Kotindy kys. Көтіңді қыс. Squeeze you ass. God I love this one. When someone being an obnoxious wannabe, tell them they should squeeze their ass and check themselves.

Jean-Jaques: I am gonna be the King of the Grand Prix!

Otabek: Kotindy kys.

Shygasyn ba?! Шығасың ба?! You wanna go bro?! Ohh, someone is gonna catch these Kazakh fists.

Sigil. Сігіл. Basically go fuck yourself.

Sheshen ahmy/Sheshen sigem. Шешең амы/Шешең сігем. Your mother’s c*nt/Imma fuck your mother. REALLY FUCKING OFFENSIVE. Say this to a Kazakh if you have a death wish.

——————————————————————————————-

AND THEEEEEEERE YOU GO.

Again, this is just the basics. Do more research and talk to as many Kazakhs and Kazakhstani people as you can. We are a different but usually an interesting bunch. Thanks for your attention, Sawyer out!

[visforvengeance]

Exit music (for a film)

Ｂｉｌｌｙ Ｈａｒｇｒｏｖｅ

Requested by: no one ;)

Notes: hello. here is something i’ve been working on since s3. it was originally called we hope that you choke. but i changed it literally 3 minutes ago. it’s going to be in chapters bc i couldn’t figure out how to write everything without making it an 8,000 word fic😬. the upside down doesn’t exist in this. el doesn’t have powers. ahem hopper and billie don’t die. i thought this song would fit perfectly with billy considering his dad is pretty shit. i’m procrastinating on wdywmts. i’m so sorry. i have a justin foley fic. do y’all want that shit?

Warnings: none in this chapter. i mean cursing? and vulgar language. steve being a dick. billy is maybe out of character. slight mentions of death and daddy issues.

word count: 2,072

Y/n’s POV

“Have you seen the new kid? He’s so hot! Ugh! Look at that hair!” My friend, Genesis, gushed as he walked by. He was hot, but he looked like trouble. And it was annoying how every girl swooned over him. Looks like Steve Harrington has some competition this year. “Gen, don’t you have a boyfriend?” I questioned. She rolled her green eyes and scoffed. “Alex and I are on a break, thank you very much.” I laughed at her faux annoyance.

I closed my locker door and leaned against it. “He isn’t even that hot. He’s already flirting with girls and it’s literally his first day.” Genesis hit my arm. “Can you blame him? Look at him. God, his chest is so mint! I’d give anything to get a piece of that.” I shook my head at how much my friend was thirsting over him. “Jesus, Gen. Can you keep it in your pants? You don’t even know his name.” She smirked and looked at me. “Billy Hargrove.” God, even his name sounded like he’d be a womanizer.

“I’m not even going to ask how you know that. And keep your dirty comments to yourself, Genesis.” The red-haired girl slammed her locker shut. And we began walking to first period. “Oh, don’t be such a prude, Y/N! Ever since you broke up with Steve, you’ve been a complete betty!” I rolled my eyes and scoffed. “No, I haven’t! I just don’t care for boys anymore. They’re stupid and gross.”

“Yeah, since you got your heart broken. Come on! It’s time to show him what he’s missing. Have you seen your body recently? Boys have been tripping over their feet staring at you. You just won’t give them the time of day.” Blah blah blah. She just had to bring up repressed memories of a certain tragedy.

Steve had called me over to attend the end of the year party he was having. His parents weren’t home, so he had a shit ton of alcohol for everyone. When I entered the door, I was greeted by loud music and drunken teens. I wove my way through the crowd and stood by Steve. He’d noticed me and pecked my cheek, “Hey, babe. You made it.” He sounded surprised. “I mean, yeah? Why do you sound so surprised?” He was a little drunk, so he tripped over his words a bit.

“U-usually you never come. Too busy doing your homework or whatever excuse you tell me.” Tommy H. appeared and forced his way into the conversation. “Nah, she’s too busy being a prude. Are you a virgin, Y/N? Steve usually tells me about all the girls he’s fucked, but you? He’s never even mentioned.” Before I had a chance to defend myself, Carol butted in.

“No way she’s a virgin. I heard she had a thing going on with that creep, Johnathan Byers. How’d you take it, Y/N? In the ass? Or did he pop your sweet cherry?” Steve laughed as Tommy and Carol taunted me. I scoffed. “None of your business, dipshits. And seriously, Steve? I’ve been to every one of your stupid parties. You just choose to ignore me. Like you do in school, you cast me aside. Am I not popular enough for you? Is that it? Or are you too busy ogling Nancy Wheeler?” His face scrunched in confusion. “Woah, woah, woah. Are you okay? You’re going a bit psycho. It’s not my fault no one likes you.” I scoffed at Steve’s drunken words. Of course, he’d say something like this.

The next day, Steve found out about what he had said. He tried to explain why he said what he said, but never said he was sorry and that it wasn’t true. I broke it off with him.

I shook my head, pushing the thoughts out of my mind. “I’d rather not. And what makes you think he’d go for me anyway? I don’t seem like his type.” Genesis filled the halls with laughter. “He’s been staring at you since he walked into the classroom. And not to mention, he’s coming over to you now!” What? I turned to his direction and followed until he was standing next to the desk beside me.

“Is this seat taken?” I think I underestimated his attractiveness. He was insanely hot. “U-uh no.” I stuttered out an answer. He nodded and smirked. It was science class and my partner had moved to another state. You know what that means? He’ll most likely be my partner. I don’t think I'm stable enough to handle this.

The next 60 minutes were filled with uninterested and forced conversations about physics and whether I was single or not. Thank god for the bell. Before Billy could say another thing, I rushed out of the classroom and stood by my locker, waiting for Genesis. She looked annoyed as she approached me. “Why the hell did you run off? He was obviously into you.”

I rolled my eyes as she lectured me about the blue-eyed boy’s interest in me. “I don’t want to be the first of girls who he has fucked over. I’ve had enough of that with Steve.” She frowned at my tragic outburst. “You never know! He might be different. Looks CAN be deceiving, Y/N. You have to give him a chance. It’s my dying wish!” Genesis dramatically placed her hands on her heart and head. When I deadpanned, she straightened her posture. “Come on. You don’t even have to go all the way. Just be nice to him.”

I sighed an exasperated sigh. “Fine. Fine! I’ll be nice to him. But as soon as he shows signs that he’s up to no good, I am dropping it.” Genesis excitedly jumped up and down, trapping me in a hug. “Yes! That’s all I’m asking. I just know you won’t regret it.” She declared as she wiggled her eyebrows in a suggestive manner.

Billy had shown up in my next class, and also decided to take a seat next to me. Causing a student to angrily walk to the back of the class, while she shot daggers at me as we talked. He looked at me and smiled. While the teacher taught, he started talking to me. “Hey.” Remembering what Genesis said, I turned and smiled at him. “Hi.” His eyes displayed shock, but his body remained cool. “So, you’re talking to me now?” I laughed and nodded. “I’m glad I didn’t give up on you, then.” “Hm, I’m glad too.”

We talked for majority of second period. He was quite interesting and he had a gorgeous smile. I learned that he came from California and had a sister. He made it his job to walk me to my locker and carry on the conversation we had for three periods now. As we were walking, Genesis’ ginger curls came into view as did my locker. She saw us and her eyes went wide with surprise.

I introduced the two people as I opened my locker. “Billy, this is my best friend, Genesis. Genesis, this is my new friend, Billy.” He turned to Gen and greeted her by taking her hand and placing a chaste kiss on the back of it. “Pleasure to meet you, Genesis.” My friend was astonished, as she bowed. “The pleasure is all mine.” I rolled my eyes in annoyment as Genesis continued to be dramatic.

It was now time for lunch and Billy joined us at our table. While we walked, I felt Steve’s eyes on us. Jealousy painted the features that I once adored. I returned my attention back to the two people who were happily chatting about god knows what. “So, Billy. Are you dating anyone?’ Genesis stated as she nudged my knee with her own. I nearly choked at the question as I looked at her. Thank god he didn’t notice my slight panic and carried on with his answer.

“No, not at the moment.” He chuckled at the question. “Interesting. Neither is Y/N.” I felt hot all over as Genesis exposed my relationship status to a person I barely knew. Now, Billy was full-on laughing while I sat in complete embarrassment. “Yes, and it’ll stay that way until further notice,” I said while I kicked the girl’s knee. She winced in pain and decided to back down, for now. Billy’s face faltered in disappointment. But he quickly replaced it with amusement.

“What a bummer, then.” He smiles almost sadly. “Yes. A complete bummer. I’ve been trying to get her to come out of her shell, but Steve really fucked it up for her.” Genesis said, angrily. He pulled a confused look. “Steve Harrington?” He asked. Genesis and I exchanged a look. “Yeah, you know him?” He nodded while taking a sip of his chocolate milk.

“He’s in my gym class. Real asshat, that guy. What happened between you two?” He asked, curiously. Genesis looked at me, expectantly. I sighed and rolled my eyes. “He was just a dick. He always placed his popularity and shithead friends above me.” Billy shook his head in disbelief and slight anger. “He didn’t deserve you.” Genesis perked up at that. “I’ve been saying that for centuries.” I zoned out as they both shared a common ground on how I deserved better.

Lunch was over and we had to go to fourth period. Genesis and I had gym, so Billy didn’t tag along with us. “So, he seems like absolute boyfriend material.” I shook my head. “You’re really pushing for us to date, huh?” Genesis turned to me after stretching her legs. “Uh, yes? You guys would make the perfect couple. He gives me bad boy/protective boyfriend vibes. Potential daddy issues with unconditional love for his girlfriend? Ah-mazing!”

He seemed really sweet and he was definitely the cutest. His hair seems so soft, and don’t even get me started on his smile. It makes hearts generate above my head! And his body, dear god. It seems so perfect. I’d give anything to feel his abs against my-

“You’re thinking about him, aren’t you?” Genesis nearly screamed at me. “What? No, I’m not.” She squinted at me, not believing a word I said. ‘Date. Him.’ She mouthed at me. I shook my head and turned to pay attention to my teacher’s directions.

The school day was over and I was so relieved. Gen’s dad picked her up early, so I was alone for the rest of class. I was putting my things in my locker when Billy approached me. “Did you miss me?” He asked, jokingly. I laughed and closed my locker. “I just about died without you.” I said as I placed my hand on my chest, dramatically. A slight blush creeped up on his cheeks.

He cleared his throat and regained his composure. “Are you doing anything after school?” He asked. I thought about it for a second and shook my head. “Nope. I planned I’m going straight home. Why?” He held the door open for me as we walked outside. “I was wondering if you maybe wanted to hangout?”

I giggled at his uncertainty. “Yeah, i'd like that. We could probably go to the park? And just sit in your car and talk.” He seemed so happy that I agreed. “Ok. Sounds like a plan.”

We arrived at the park and he turned his car off. I turned so I was facing him. “So. Tell me about yourself. How old is your sister?” “She’s actually my stepsister. But she’s 14. My mom died when I was 8.” I grabbed his hand and apologized. “Oh shit. I’m so sorry. That must’ve been hard to deal with.” He looked at our hands and then up at me. I released his hand and placed mine back in my lap. “It was. My dad...he’s really shitty.” Daddy issues? Wow, is my best friend God?

“Sounds fucked up. I’m sorry, again. Do you miss California?” He nodded. “A lot. But I think I’ll like it better here.” He smirked. My eyes went wide for a second and then back to normal. This boy is going to kill me.

“You know. You’re actually not so bad. I think I might take a chance on you.” He leaned back in his seat. “God, I sure hope so. You seem like a doll.” I laughed at his confidence. “Thanks, I guess.”

[hows-it-holed-up]

Perfunctory Photo Recap: The O.C. 2x14

Up until now I’ve only been doing these recaps for pilots, but getting stuck watching only pilots – which are usually the absolute worst episodes – of series I love sounds pretty grim. So as of now, any iconic episodes of any show are fair game. ERGO, despite the fact that The O.C. has what I’m fairly sure is a phenomenal pilot, I’m skipping ahead to the February sweeps episode of the show’s second season: “The Rainy Day Women.” If I remember correctly, it’s extremely emotionally satisfying and I will probably spend the last 15 minutes just pressing my hand to my own sternum and sighing. 

My Disclaimer: None of these posts will be in any way comprehensive, because I’m lazy. All of them are probably going to have spoilers of some sort for the entire series…or at least what I remember of it from when I last watched it an eon ago. Exactly what you want in a recap!

California, Here We Come: Kirsten and Sandy (aka Mom and Dad) have been fighting because the former love of his life needed some PRETTY INTENSE legal help, and he jumped at the chance. Kirsten understandably doesn’t love this! Meanwhile, Summer is about to jet off to Italy for her BF Zach’s sister’s wedding, because somehow we’re still pretending like this is a thing. Plus some other stuff is going on with some other characters blah blah who cares. Welcome to The O.C., bitch!

I read somewhere that Josh Schwartz always hated this title sequence – that he could never find something he was super satisfied with and just kind of acquiesced to this. Meanwhile the rest of us are screaming the words to “California” while we head bang and strum our air guitars, every episode.

In the first big scene, we catch up with Mom and Dad, who have been struggling for a few episodes because an old flame came back into his life asking for help, and he dove in head first. 

Kirsten is not pleased. This Rebecca situation was so heartbreaking. Sandy Cohen’s whole thing is that he always does what’s right. This was one of the only times in the series it felt like he had other viable options and he was obviously misstepping. I’m with Kiki here. 

Oh hello Olivia Wilde! I forgot you were in this show! She’s insanely beautiful, obviously, but those mid-aughts pencil-thin eyebrows didn’t do anyone any favors. Not that I would know anything about this personally, of course.   

And not doing the show itself any favors 15 years out: this “Marissa is a lesbian but it’s definitely just a phase” storyline. I remember thinking it was a little gratuitous and questionable even back in ‘05. 

Speaking of questionable plots: We’ve been strung along for half a season watching Seth trying to win Summer back and her rebuffing him. And Summer’s right – it WAS pretty annoying! Seth’s still at it, heading over to her place as she’s packing for Zach’s sister’s wedding in Italy, but...not really having anything to say! (i.e. still not there to advance the plot.) 

We get a brief interlude to watch Julie Cooper think about how she could snip the tip off her husband’s penis. 

And then we’re back to the real story. Although I’d honestly rather stick with Julie because:

SANDY. NO. THIS IS NOT APPROPRIATE! You cannot spend the night in a hotel room with your ex. You also cannot drink wine on the floor of said hotel room with said ex! Stop it! 

Seriously. You know what could happen. 

Anyway, Seth thinks he’s figured out how he might actually be able to move the needle with Summer. He’s bought his boat back and is going to take her...sailing in the pool? Sure! Foolproof!

I had a literature professor in college who would bring this show up in class every week, linking it to whatever we were reading at the time. He didn’t do this because he thought he was bridging some kind of gap between us and the material – only about 1/4 of the class even watched this show. He just did it because it made him happy. This “objective correlative” reference really made me think about him and chuckle.  

At the airport on her way to Italy, Summer sees a little boy playing with a horse on top of some comic books. I guess she’s like, “Even though I’m only supposed to be 17 my biological clock is already ticking,” and she ditches Zach and heads to Seth’s. 

Checking in with our other couple, Sandy has finally (sort of) come to his senses and headed home – after Rebecca straight up ran away from him because she was about to get caught by the cops. Helps when the universe just makes decisions for you, I guess!

Ehhhhh I mean it started a little! 

Anyway, they kiss, and it’s very sweet. And we’re all breathing a sigh of relief.  And we won’t sic Julie on him just yet.

Meanwhile, their son is on the roof attempting to adjust the satellite. He’s put on a Spiderman mask because it’s all he’s got to protect his head from the rain, somehow, and he’s decided the only safety precaution he needs is A ROPE TIED AROUND HIS MIDSECTION. Things, predictably, go awry. 

HOW did Seth not get literally sliced in half by this? He must have slid like 30-40 feet from the top of the roof to where he’s dangling. I have no interest in doing the calculations to verify this statement, but I’m pretty sure we’re at least looking at some internal bleeding here.  

Anyway, Summer arrives, finds Seth dangling in the back, and:

The emotional payoff for this arc, now that it’s FINALLY concluded, is excellent. And what a delightful way to anchor it for this character. 

It’s hard not to love this scene – it’s heartwarming. But with the benefit of 15 years and a rewatch, it also seems like this must have been VERY uncomfortable to film. Like apart from having to hang upside down for who knows how long, how was there not water dripping down Adam Brody’s (or more likely, this stunt person’s) nose the entire time?? Somebody call OSHA!

Musings from the Poolhouse:

- This show is disguised as a teen soap, but it’s so much more than that. Between its overarching commentary on privilege and the status quo and its own self-awareness (exemplified by winks at the audience like show-within-a-show-cum-commentary-on-itself-AND-reality-television, The Valley), The O.C. is one of the cleverest series ever to grace network television. Despite a few things not aging particularly well, it’s still a really fun experience to watch it. Except for season 3. Skip season 3. 

- Julie. Cooper. JUST. YES. YES YES YES.  

- Marissa’s face when Alex is talking to her about having to do things like take out garbage and pay rent made me LOL. 

- I may have been projecting a little bit about the kid with the horse at the airport. He was very cute. And I think my own ovaries have kicked into high gear.   

- There was an entire (C? D? E?) plot in this episode about Lindsay’s paternity and moving to Chicago and some other stuff I can’t bring myself to care about. Ben McKenzie and Shannon Lucio had like negative chemistry, so despite the show’s best efforts to make us invested in that relationship, it just wasn’t landing. I remember caring way more about her storyline with her mom, Caleb, Kirsten, even Seth. So, shrug, she’s moving to Chicago I guess! 

- Josh Schwartz is so good at music! Apart from Phantom Planet (obviously), I clocked Blind Melon, Louis XIV, Boyz II Men, Bell X1 and Matt Pond PA (covering Oasis) in this episode. A real auditory journey down memory lane. Did I miss any?

[cartoonfangirl1218]

Winner’s Curse Ch.17

Note: We’re back to sweet sweet Gil and surprisingly enough, Jade became such an interesting character to write that she sprung into her own. Which means the next chapter is a Jade chapter, and totally disrupting my outline for it but that’s what people mean by the characters write themselves. Anyway, I hope you enjoy! Also tw:mentions of abuse.  “Are you sure this is the right room?” Gil asked the minion again, trying in vain to read the map Uma had given him to navigate the castle. It kept crumpling up and going upside down. 

The goon just grunted and shoved him through the door. Gil caught himself on the door handle just in time to see the sparkle of a dozen bejeweled drapes and Jade reclining on an ottoman, bringing sweet relief of knowing he hadn’t messed up.

“Hello Gil!” Jade cheerfully waved before abruptly yelping. Her head whipped to glare at the boy bent at her feet, “Come on slave boy, have you not given a foot massage before? It’s supposed to be gentle.” “Not my fault if you have a lot of tension there, Princess.” The guy sarcastically shot back.  Gil recognized the boy despite his tattered clothing, he was that Prince from Agrabah!

“What? He’s a prince! Why is he your slave?” Gil asked, completely forgetting what he had come here for. 

“The only way we could get him from being killed in the dungeon was to find a way to use him. And what better use that having the son of my mom’s enemy be our slave boy.” Jade grinned. 

“But um I don’t if that’s..” Gil paused, unsure how to word what he wanted to say without offending Jade. But he was pretty sure that being part of the Anti Villain Club meant not using another person as a slave. Even if it kept him from being killed. But then again Yen Sid that being an anti hero was a complicated thing and they didn’t always do good things. He wasn’t sure. He got so confused during the explanation. 

Luckily, Jade seemed to sense Gil’s hesitance and put a gentle hand on his bicep. “He’s not actually my slave. It’s just pretend so Mom and Uncle Jafar don’t freak out that I’m becoming soft or something. I’m still helping to stop all this.” 

“Yes, she’s just enjoying this all too much.” Aziz added wryly, pressing a little too roughly on her instep so she kicked at his head. 

“When you’re done with Jade, how about you get started on me. I’ve never had a massage before.” Gil jumped at the addition of this other voice and saw that white haired girl peel away from the window balcony and walk to a pile of pillows. He couldn’t remember her name, but she looked very different from before. She was dressed all fancy and bejeweled like Jade and she had a tentative smile that looked like she was baring her teeth.

Jade held her hand up for a first bump but the white haired girl ignored, “Slave boy, you’re dismissed.” 

“Come on slave boy.” Lala patted to a spot beside her on the pillows. 

“Not you too.” Aziz groaned. 

“Shush, just do it.” She commanded as Aziz got to work on her shoulders. 

“Sorry for the distraction. What is that you need to tell me?” Jade asked, focusing her full attention on him. 

“Harry and I went to the Anti Villain Club like Uma told us too and they agreed to help us. It was so easy, we didn’t even have to threaten them. Which made Harry mad because he really wanted to threaten them with his hook. Anyway, Yzla has been giving me messages to give to Uma like how they got most of the sober lackeys on our side and they’re starting to work on convincing merchants like Madam Medusa and Ivy De’Vil.” 

“Good, good.” Jade’s eyes lit up with excitement.

“And that’s all we have so far since Uma hasn’t sent any orders about attacking yet. But Yzla wanted to send me a special message to you that she’s working on a potion to unhypnotize Jay and she can’t wait to see you this afternoon after the Coven meeting.” 

“Aww that girl.” Jade mused contentedly for a moment before her smile faded away and her eyes glazed over to look at the far side of the room. Gil’s eyes followed hers and he almost jumped to see the frozen statue of Jay standing sentinel next to an opulent queen sized bed. 

It was weird to see him that way. So still like he wasn’t even breathing. Dressed in the robes of a prince, hair slicked back in a man bun but his face was blank like a puppet’s. And with a constant red glaze on his eyes. 

“That’s creepy.” Gil shuddered. Jade sighed without much emotion. A valuable skill that he wished he could have. Mother always warned him not to be so expressive with his emotions because that just made him a target. 

“It’s so strange to see him not fidgeting or talking or anything.” Jade shook her head.

“I think it’s an improvemmffengtf” The other girl began to say but Aziz covered her mouth. Then she bit him, “Don’t do that!” 

“Is he going to stay that way forever?” Gil asked, turning his attention back to Jade. 

“I don’t know. Probably. Uncle Jafar wants that since he turned traitor. Him being hypnotized will keep him in line, and he’ll obey the rules and he’ll act like a prince but he just won’t be himself.” Jade said, “Then again, I don’t think Jay would ever be able to act like himself if he was a prince. Or me as a princess.”

“Don’t you want to be a princess?” Gil asked. He had been wondering about that since Yzla informed him that Jade was a new member of the Anti Villain Club. Jade was a thief like Jay, always attracted to shiny gold objects. He had thought she would love to be a princess and get all the riches in the world. Why would she join the Anti Villain Club and work against the Coven then?

Jade looked hesitant to explain but she looked at him and a rare soft smile broke on her face. She inhaled and began to explain. “I wanted to be rich and powerful but not like this. I can’t do anything fun anymore. No more fighting or drinking contests because I’ll get dirty. No more flirting because I have to marry someone else who is just as rich and powerful. It’s too much pressure. And Mom is having me do magic lessons all the time and I’m just not good at it. I can’t cast spells or shapeshift or do anything my mom wants and then Mom starts…” she trailed off, seeming to sink lower in her seat before Gil’s eyes. 

He understood that feeling. Even when Father wasn’t around, just thinking about his meaty hands colliding with his stomach, the phantom agony of it, he wanted to hide too.

Unbidden and very unwelcome, his mind flashbacked to the thought of Lars and his sadistically gleeful face. Gil squinched his eyes and forced himself not to think about that. 

He was good at that. Forgetting. Forgetting was so much easier than thinking and he certainly didn’t want to think about what kind of pain Lars had wanted for him. 

He knew Nasira hit Jade but he didn’t know how bad it was. No one did. After all Jade was the unofficial makeup expert on the Isle, able to cover any unsightly bruise while giving perfect winged eyeliner so she always looked good. 

Besides, you just don’t talk about it on the Isle. Being hit and getting into fights was supposed to make you tough. Complaining or losing one made you weak.

 But it wasn’t that way all the time Gil had learned. He found a good place with Uma’s Crew. They wrestled and got into bar brawls, he had several stitches from when Gonzo smashed a chair over him, but it was safe. They never crossed the line and left him bleeding and half unconscious on the floor. 

“You know, you could join Uma’s crew if you want. For protection if you need it.” Gil suggested.

“No. I don’t need anyone!” Jade snapped, her emerald eyes flashing so similarly to her mother from the few times he saw Nasira venture the streets.

“I mean um,” Jade paused. Frozen like a deer in headlights at her small outburst but snapped back to her usual breezy smile with a finger-snap quickness that gave Gil mood whiplash. “I mean, no thanks. I don’t think Uma would want me after I stole that chest full of pearls from the Jolly Roger.”

“That was you!” 

“Yeah.” Jade smiled proudly, “Besides I don’t like ships. It’s so cold and wet and rocks too much and it’s on the sea. Ugh.”  

“Still you could come over sometime, you don’t have to join or anything but you can join our wrestling nights.” Gil cheerfully said.

“I would like that, LeGume.” Jade gently hit his shoulder and twirled a pocket knife she snatched from his belt. Gil nodded his head again feeling happy with himself. 

Then again, he always felt comfortable around Jade. She was so low maintenance and friendly. As close as you could get to a friendly person while on the Isle. She never made him feel stupid. That’s what she liked most about her. She didn’t refer to him as an idiot in every sentence and when they talked, she listened. She actually listened and looked interested in what he had to say, not dismissive. She didn’t look impatient whenever he was trying to remember something he had forgotten and she flirted with him. That was also rare. 

Girls usually flocked to his brothers since they were more handsome and stronger but she flirted with all of them equally. He had asked her once if they could “get together,” and he had hoped she would say “yes” so his brothers would stop mocking him for not having laid anyone. But she said “no.” She said he was too sweet and eager like a puppy, and he understood that. 

After all, Father had said no girl would sleep with a sissy like him. He needed to be tougher. But that little thing did nothing to shake up their camaraderie. 

Uma warned him that Jade’s friendliness was a ruse, she charmed everyone she pickpocketed. Which was true, after hanging out with Jade, he was always missing several of his belongings, but it was fine with him. They had a good time. Friday Fight Night at the Tavern with her was always a blast even though his brothers and her cousin didn’t get along. 

“Why won’t this stupid door open?” A voice cursed from outside the room and the door knob began jangling. 

Gil leaped to the floor, struggling to hide under the too small space under the ottoman as Jade flung the door open. Gil stopped his vain efforts in relief when he saw the familiar brown leather boots of his captain and stood up and saluted her. 

Jade beside him was making painful choking noises and Gil’s mouth dropped open at the sight of the smoky pink skinned creature next to Uma and Calix.

The creature blew past them all to scoop up Aziz from his place and hug him with an audible bone crack. “Aziz, my son, you’re safe. Thank Allah! I thought you were dead. You’re not dead. Thank you. Thank you! And you’re all healed. This is the happiest day of my life.” 

“Jordan, you called me your son again.” Aziz wheezed. 

“I only do it after you’ve been in mortal danger, it’s fine. It’s not weird. I’m not concerned.” Jordan squeezed him one more time before dropping him gently to his feet on the floor. 

“I’m concerned and your breath smells like vomit.” He commented to her. 

Jordan pouted, popping a mint that came from thin air into her mouth, “Why do you always have to ruin the moment.” 

“You called me your son, I want to make it less weird.” Aziz retorted. “Do you not want me as your substitute mother?” 

“No! I don’t! I want you as my sis- Why are we having this conversation? You don’t even want to be a mom.” 

“So? I still can-“ 

“Guys!” Calix clapped his hands getting their attention, “I know you can do this all day but we have bigger things to worry about.” 

“It’s real. Genies are real. It’s hot and talking and magical.” Jade managed to find her voice, still looking incredibly freaked out. 

“I’m not an “it.” I’m a “she.” Jordan corrected, “Why do you look so scared? I’m normal like the rest of-“ she looked at herself, “Oh right, I’m not in mortal form! Sorry, sorry I forgot.” A cloud of pink smoke changed her to the appearance Gil first saw her in.

“Genie..you’re a genie.” Jade muttered. It was sort of funny to see Jade who was usually so in control of herself and breezy be stunned into stammering.

“While she digests that information. Let’s get started on the plan.” Una took control as she usually did. The white haired girl abruptly stood up from her perch observing the conversation and strode to the balcony. 

Aziz rubbed his neck sheepishly, “Lala’s not helping us anymore. Don’t worry, she’s not going to tattle on us, but she doesn’t want any part of it. You know, deniability if it all fails.” “Fine, it’s better if we have smaller numbers while infiltrating the castle.” Uma said but Gil could tell by the tight line of her mouth that Uma thought Lala was being cowardly. Uma always believed that they should all stand by what they wanted or believed in, no matter the consequences. Not go back and forth. 

Gil leaned in, ready to take his next orders when Uma glanced at him and pointed to the door. “Gil, you’re not part of this mission. Go back to the Crew and tell Harry that I need to meet him at sunset tonight. It’s about his sister.” 

Gil nodded as seriously as he could. If something had to do with CJ and Harry, it was important indeed, and he was not going to fail his captain.“You got it!”