#LISTEN. i got some of it done

[bmpmp3]

ignoring my homework again

[spielzeugkaiser]

Being on the nostalgia train this week really helped stretching my artistic legs again. So here, have some old things and some new! For now I'm done with this.

[fox-guardian]

I can't get over that last scene from this episode. that long pause where sam was quietly grabbing a drink and you could barely hear celia talking to jack as she put him to bed in the other room. nothing was happening in that moment that needed to be recorded. no terrible events no big revelations. just sam and celia quietly going about their lives, sharing a domestic moment.

as something watched and listened. and we don't know why it's listening.

[sysig]

You're still standing off to the side. Somehow, center stage has shifted from under your feet without you realizing, and you're standing in the wings, performing to no one.

Starring Role (Patreon)

[scificrows]

i like to make fun of murderbot for being all "i hate everyone, i don't care about anything or anyone, fuck off" while simultaneously caring very much about the people around it and the situations it finds itself in. i love how it "accidentally" ends up caring quite a lot about the friends it makes along the way. but i think something that i tend to forget is that murderbot actively decides to care - at least at some point in its story.

idk, as a person that struggles with depression, this paragraph from artificial condition really resonates with me. prior to all systems red, murderbot had contracts. it had routine and it had protocols. it knew what it had to do to just get by, how to perform so no one would notice it had disabled its governor module. it was deeply depressed, yes, but it was functioning (for lack of a better word). in artificial condition, murderbot's routine is gone. it cannot go on in that state of numbly going-from-contract-to-contract, putting in as little effort as possible, consuming media to cope. that option is gone because it escaped (and note that escaping the company was not an active choice, it kinda happened to it). murderbot has two options now: it can either gather all its energy; actively do something new and difficult and distressing; change something in its life and try. or it can let the numbness and the emptiness take over and stop trying. if murderbot wants to survive as a rogue secunit, it has to try. no matter how difficult that is. the wording in that paragraph really hits home for me. the way the non-caring sees an opportunity to slip in and to take over. does murderbot even care? does anything really matter? is anything really worth the hassle? wouldn't it be so much easier to just let your mind slip away a little, to go numb, to be passive, to watch media and wait for things to happen to you? wouldn't it be nice to stop thinking and struggling and feeling complicated things? to stop making an effort? you've been dealing with a lot lately and maybe it's time to just shut down. maybe you'll just take a little break. just slip deeper into this chair and start the show. time flies when you're not paying attention. trying is exhausting. who cares if you don't do the things you wanted to do, you were supposed to do. it'll be fine. let's just ignore those things for now. just let the non-caring take over. just stop thinking. you can deal with the aftermath later. just watch your shows. who cares. but murderbot cares. it decides to care. it decides to fight with all it has and i think that is so brave. and i think in the later books caring is less of an active decision for murderbot. once you start caring, it's easier to keep going than to stop; and murderbot, for all its "i'm a grumpy rogue secunit, leave me alone" behavior, knows just how important caring is. so it's not that it doesn't know what's happening; rather, it lets itself care. tl;dr: caring is not the default for murderbot, it's just the more difficult of two options. and it decides not to take the soft option. it decides to struggle. it decides to care. and so it does.

[ricky-mortis]

A portrait of Sir John Herschel because I‘m normal about Pulp Musicals

[chase-ing-shadows]

AU where Atreus gets stuck as a bear and him and Sindri have to go on a brother bear style adventure to make him human again.

also open to the idea that this happens after Ragnarok and this is the story of how Atreus and Sindri reconnect

[farfallasims]

Anastasia Brownstone | Updated❄️

[snowaftermidnight]

brian doodle from class :3 idk which one i like more so im posting both

lyrics are from wine red by the hush sound (transcribed under cut) ignore that i wrote some of them wrong lmao

repeating in pencil: Who shot that arrow in your throat? Who missed the crimson apple? It hung heavy on the tree above your head.

border: This chaos, this calamity. This garden once was perfect. Give your immortality to me, I'll set you up against the stars.

[themasterpupil]

When I listen to Drake: 😐🤨😒

When I listen to Kendrick: 🤯😱🫨

[chaoticlandworlder]

What is with the practically psychotic hate for Lance Stroll? I'm not even his fan- more indifferent- but the hate he gets is sickening. Like just see the recent 'Never have I ever' vid- so many top comments on youtube, instagram etc. are just spouting shit about him (attacking his looks, calling him window licker wtf etc.) based off the 'Never have I ever stood up someone question' (and of course they conveniently ignore all the other drivers that also said they have because it's trendy to hate on Stroll).

Of course, standing up someone sucks but first of all we have no context at all, and more importantly, it's clear the commenters don't actl give a shit about that because they're only hating on Stroll. This is literally just one instance of the way these F1 'fans' are so quick to seize any opportunity to put down Lance. Honestly, it's so off-putting, pathetic and sad.

[pearl-kite]

So new Vega audio, right. Heads up this got WAY longer than I meant so uh. Prepare to scroll, I guess ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

In advance, I don't even really know when things get posted to youtube time-of-day-wise, so this is probably technically spoiler material, etc etc, and a bit heavily flavored by particular headcanon for the Warden, especially the details of their job.

You work at the Department, your favorite part is psychology-related casework. Sure, the serenity demons have got that corner covered, but you enjoy helping when they're short-handed in between the times you have to do demon-specific tasks like ward maintenance, etc.

You get this fucking file, red flags ALL over it, but you're good at your job, you know how to keep your personal shit separate and not fall for manipulation tactics, but the guy is good. You're also good enough to see through it all, but oh man is he pat.

Shit happens and suddenly you're kidnapped, sort of? And you can see every time he tries to be subtle and nudge you to think one way or another, but he is actually helping you, which yeah, sure that's a manipulation in and of itself, but he's almost nice? You don't agree with a lot of what he says, but there are some points he has that you've had before, but you'll be damned if you're going to let him know that. You can see what he's doing and you're not going to fall for it (maybe that's the problem though, you think you can see it but does that make you overconfident?)

And then when you're finally better he just. Lets you leave. But he gives you an option, and it sounds not only logical, but nice (ah shit did you start to like him? You know he's manipulating you, remember?). So you stick with him. You can leave anytime.

But you don't leave, because maybe you started to forget that he's manipulating you, you saw through it all at the beginning, after all, and there's plenty of evidence that he's not lying about shit going on with that cult.

One day he says he values you, and you immediately think it's a trick, and you can't read his emotions the way he can read yours, but something feels honest about it, and suddenly you believe it when he says you matter, and you like that, you like it a lot, and you think maybe you're a little fucked because you might do anything he asks you to at this point.

And then not even a half hour later something fucking disintegrates him in front of you, which shouldn't have been possible, and it terrifies you and you run. You forget that you can fucking rift away in an instant and you use your fucking feet and sprint, you're so terrified.

Where the fuck are you supposed to go? You ditched your job, even if you were abducted in the first place, do you even have any friends outside of work?

To make things more confusing, some fucking piece of paper materializes out of nowhere for you, and you read it. It feels like a confession, but it's from that bastard so how are you supposed to believe it, and it tells you to just forget him and move on and what the fuck, man, how?

So you read it again, and another couple times, and maybe you end up back at the safe house you had been abducted to at first and you reread it enough that maybe you start to memorize it. And when you finally put it back down to reconsider what you're supposed to do, the thing that killed him suddenly pops in with him alive next to it like he didn't just disintegrate in front of you hours ago.

And he doesn't remember it. He doesn't remember you. He doesn't address you properly, doesn't remember your name and doesn't call you darling. But he does remember? He remembers you but nothing about you? And he begs you to explain what's going on because his memory is about 2000 years old at this point and he doesn't know if there's anyone else that can catch him up.

He's begging, and you don't think this is a trick anymore. For the first time, you're positive he isn't manipulating you, he's pleading.

He asks what your relationship was (good question). You try to hedge and he calls you out. You tell him it's complicated.

What do you mean complicated.

You don't really know how to say "Well, I was your department-appointed therapist of sorts, you abducted me, but then you offered to have me tag along on your mission to save the world and you've manipulated me so much through the whole thing that I can't really tell what was real and what wasn't and then you died in front of me and left me this note that honestly just made it more unclear what we were," so you stick with "You died and left me this note" and hand him the piece of paper you already memorized to read.

And he doesn't just read it to himself, he reads it out loud, so you get to hear the fucking thing in his voice now, and why does he sound so shaken by the request to forget him, does he hate reading that part as much as you did?

He finishes the letter and doesn't understand why you said it was complicated, that made it sound pretty straightforward, why would he have called you darling and dearest and praised you like that if it hadn't been straightforward?

You don't know what else to say, and thank god he drops it, but even though he knows now what he called you he keeps addressing you wrong and you hate it, you're not just an inchoate you're his warden, but he asks if you'll keep helping him and you almost want to say of course you idiot but you just say you will.

Anyway I was very insane about this last night, I don't know if this accurately gets that across, but then again it's about 5 times longer than I meant so maybe that's the insanity.

I've never really been good at putting my reactions into words, it never quite gets across the vibrating flailing aaaaaa feel that my brain goes through, but be assured my brain is vibrating flailing aaaaaa

[bjursta]

no piece of media will make me feel the same way oneshot does

[mars-ipan]

some postgame doodles for pride month

[lokh]

Im gonna need your like, whole musical rec list, bc literally every song you have posted has not flopped once, give me your faves i need to eat them

OUGHHH YOUVE UNLOCKED THE BEAST ARGSHHFHJDF....

in the interest of making this both easily accessible but not stretching the dashboard, im embedding bandcamp links when i can, otherwise linking to youtube when unavailable

in no particular order, inclusion based mostly on what im still actively into LMAO but also just things you should give a go at least once:

list of artist recommendations

zeal and ardor: described as a mix of african-american spirituals and black metal. try devil is fine, you aint coming back, wake of a nation or church burns

bloodywood: indian folk metal, literally nobody is doing it like them. recently featured in monkey man (2024), try chakh le, yaad or dana dan

stromae: if youve never heard any of his songs WHAT ARE YOU DOING..... incredible lyricist, described as a blend of hip hop/electronic. papaoutai made the rounds on tumblr a while back, but you should also try santé and l'enfer

alamat: pinoy pop. a youtube commenter described them as sounding like 2nd gen kpop which probably also explains why i took a shine to them LMAO, notable for the amount of filipino culture on display and the diversity thereof (singing in different languages, themes). first heard them thru kasmala either here or on twitter lmao, try aswang or maharani

andy bull: alt-pop. a lot of poppy and upbeat songs with a melancholic undertone imo. an australian artist, try it's all connected or keep on running

cosmo sheldrake: electronic, wikipedia also lists him as folktronica and baroque pop. you may have heard the song come along on an apple ad - hes known for sampling sounds from nature. pliocene for example features sounds from endangered ecosystems.

if you like cosmo sheldrake, you might like hidden orchestra (electronica, ambient). also making use of field recordings, i really love the archipelago mixtape but its a hard sell at about an hour lmao. if you like the following song then i implore you to give it a go

son lux: experimental, you may have heard from them in the entire soundtrack for everything everywhere all at once (!!!!!). try dangerous, dream state (brighter night) or live another life.

ammar 808: electronic/world fusion, also behind bargou 08 (folk rock you should also listen to). i just cant get ain essouda out of my head, but i also love geeta duniki

miyavi: j-rock, used to be a visual kei artist. these days he might be known more for anime openings like flashback (kokkoku) or other side (id:invaded), or for work like snakes in arcane (or actually inspiring and voicing a character in it), but ive always been partial to his early work like sukkyanen myv or ashita, genki ni naare

songs/albums

'threads' album by now, now (indie rock).

'dream to make believe' or 'what to do when you are dead' by armor for sleep (rock, emo). here's the truth about heaven from the latter album

i already posted about it but denzel curry's 13lood 1n + 13lood out mixx (rap, trap) is extremely good

the guilty gear soundtracks and im so serious im not fucking joking. different kinds of rock and metal and all sorts of influences put in, a genuine labor of love. xrd and earlier games are mainly instrumental with some vocal tracks (try give me a break or big blast sonic), while strive pretty much always includes vocals (of course i need to rec rock parade, but also try requiem. its genuinely hard for me to pick and choose lmao)

not an album and not an artist

coke studio pakistan and coke studio bangla knocking it out of the fucking park, im particularly a fan of harkalay and kotha koiyo na. you could try the other coke studios too (tamil, india, etc)

triple j like a version is when the radio station triple j brings in artists and has them do a cover of a song (artists choice). i liked denzel curry's cover of bulls on parade and flume's shooting stars (video for this one is incredible, man had a vision you just have to stick it out), but you get a lot of interesting interpretations like the wombats' running up that hill, gordi's in the end or, infamously. the wiggles' elephant

ive DEFINITELY missed out some, but thats what my music tag is for LMAO i hope someone discovers something they like here!!!!

[cake-chad]

I only have one episode of OUAW left and then I'll be caught up and waiting with the rest of y'all 😭😭😭