#Lack of Whole Grains

[mykashg]

HANNAH EINBINDER & PAUL W. DOWNS as AVA DANIELS & JIMMY LUSAQUE JR in HACKS 3.09 "Bulletproof" (2024)

[novy2sirius]

THE VENUS DEGREES

based on numerology

ෆ tw: trauma, food/eating

ෆ this is based on the numerical meanings (numerology) of these numbers not degree theory

ෆ the whole chart matters. take this with a grain of salt

VENUS AT 1°/10°/19°/28°: people with these venus degrees will be attracted to/date people that have more dominant and masculine energy. their beauty will be similar to aries beauty. defined features, thick brows, an intimidating stare, etc. these people can sometimes struggle with relationships and attract lots of conflict in their relationships or people that. these degrees can be good for wealth (especially 28°)

VENUS AT 2°: people with these venus degrees will be attracted to/date people that are more feminine or less aggressive. their beauty is very feminine and they often have beautiful body’s. they tend to have softer features rather than sharp ones. these people often end up marrying their soulmate. this is a great degree to have your venus at when it comes to romance and beauty. sometimes this can manifest as someone being a hoe

VENUS AT 3°/12°/21°: people with these venus degrees are attracted to/date people that are funny, outgoing, and that have a fun child-like energy to them. these people tend to have a youthful beauty and possibly a baby face. a lot also have bunny teeth. this degree is great for romance when it comes to communicating, but can indicate being cheated on a lot or being with people who lack responsibility before getting married and finding someone good for you

VENUS AT 4°/13°: people with these venus degrees are attracted to/date hard working people that can be stable on their own and don’t need to rely on anyone else for anything. they will not be with someone who brings a ton of chaos into their life long term. when it comes to their career they’re huge workhorses and actually enjoy working or usually have careers that they really love. these degrees in your venus are major wealth indicators as well

VENUS AT 5°/14°/23°: people with these venus degrees are attracted to people/date people that are on the more attractive side physically. they want someone who makes them feel like a free spirit and wants to travel the world with them and just go on lots of adventures and have fun. if someone tries to tie them down too much or rush into commitment it will be a huge turn off for them. physically these people tend to be very attractive to society. these people tend to be great entertainers as well

VENUS AT 6°/15°/24°: people with these venus degrees are often attracted to/date people that are homebody’s and want to chill with them all the time. they like people who are very caring, nurturing, and should ideally be with someone more family oriented. these people are really good in bed and know how to please their sexual partners. random, but these people tend to really love food and animals too. at times these people can struggle to find someone because they’re at home too much

VENUS AT 7°/16°/25°: people with these venus degrees are often attracted to/date intelligent people. you have to have something special about you for these people to like you. they are very picky. sometimes people with these degrees in their venus can be players since one of 7’s challenging traits is “falling weak to perversions”. physically these people tend to have glow ups when they’re older and don’t peak when they’re younger/in school. these degrees can be the hardest to have your venus in since 7 is a very challenging number for love in numerology. at very worst these degrees in your venus could indicate divorce occurring at least twice, but not that you’ll never be happy with your love life

VENUS AT 8°/17°/26°: people with these venus degrees are often attracted to people/date people that are powerful and confident. at times these people can be a bit controlling in relationships, but they are usually only this way because of past traumas. physically these people tend to be very beautiful unless they have a lot of unresolved negative karma which can show up in their appearance (especially with these degrees in venus). these people will experience lots of karmic lessons (more so than most) surrounding romance and may have a more challenging love life than most. they tend to end up in a happy marriage as long as they’re good people and don’t cheat

VENUS AT 0°/9°/18°/27°: people with these venus degrees are often attracted to people/date people that are introverted/shy, compassionate, charming, intelligent, and very attractive. they themselves also tend to very attractive to society. these people can make great models and become beauty symbols. they may have a challenging love life though (especially 27° venus’). a challenge these people often face in relationships is that they struggle to let go of grudges and can be dramatic at times. at worst because of their adaptive persona they will stay with people who aren’t good for them because they’re comfortable. career wise these people can become very famous though and are very artistically talented

VENUS AT 11°/20°/29°: people with these venus degrees are attracted to/date people that are emotional, intuitive, charismatic, athletic, or masculine. these people can make a lot of money from things related to expressing emotions such as acting or from their athletic abilities. besides 2° these are the best degrees you can have your venus at for romance and this indicates having a happy marriage

VENUS AT 22°: people with these venus degrees are very attracted to/date wise, confident, powerful, and hardworking people. they tend to come off as very old souls and also may date older souls too. spiritually these people are amazing manifestors and have the ability to manifest lots of material wealth in this life. random, but these people can make lots of money from being any type of builder (examples: body builder, architect, etc)

comment your venus degree and what content you want to see next!!

[seat-safety-switch]

Most people you meet have never committed a murder. I'd hazard a guess that they're incapable of it, too. Sure, Hollywood movies have programmed the average suburbanite into thinking they're one bad day away from being an almighty, unstoppable death-dealer, but why get such a negative vibe going in the first place? It's better to just hang out and blow up car engines instead.

Cats, on the other hand? Every single one of those cute little fuzzy-wuzzums harbours the heart of a true, stone-cold killer. Even the most incapable fluffy doofus could lay waste to untold scores of mice. You'll leave the house to go to work, and come back to a cat that has known what it is to take a life. That's why we like them. They remind us of how cruel and vicious nature is, even when they're incompetently chasing a housefly around your kitchen and keep jumping into the middle of your Aunt Martha's elderberry pie in the process.

We're not intimidated by it, either. You might think it's because they're small. I don't think so, though: lots of folks are terrified of the hunting prowess of the humble house spider. Cats aren't, as they consider this fearsome death dealer to be its own eight-legged protein boost. I think it's because we know the cats are working for us. Our vicious employees, ripping through the rodent problem in order to protect our grains.

As awful as it sounds, humanity was born to be middle management (cats are both workers, and also upper management.) Don't get your hands dirty. Put your feet up. Watch a television program where someone whacks a whole bunch of gangsters. Your cat might even watch, and gently scoff at the lack of realism on display.

[hyperlexichypatia]

The thing about "lack of third spaces in the U.S." that doesn't get mentioned enough is that it's not just "Capitalists and corporations bought up the commons, privatized public resources, and made people pay to access them."

That's a big part of it. But it's not the only part.

The other part is that middle-class people -- particularly middle-class white, abled people -- willingly forked over money to set up private spaces rather than share public spaces with people of color, disabled people, neurodivergent people, poor people, religious minorities, and other "undesirable" people.

When you look at any article or picture from some point in the 20th century about third spaces that are less common now, consider that depending on exactly where and when in the 20th century U.S. this was, people of color might have been banned from that space by either law or threat of violence or both (or, at minimum, made to feel unwelcome). Physically disabled people probably could not access those spaces (or were institutionalized or kept at home). Visibly non-passing neurodivergent people probably could not access those spaces, because they were institutionalized or kept at home. Two women kissing, a man in a dress, any type of visibly queer or gender nonconforming person would not have been tolerated in that space.

And my point is, these things are not unrelated. The decline of third spaces is not unrelated to civil rights gains.

I'm not saying "Stop talking about the good things of the mid-20th century, don't you know that era also had racism and sexism and ableism and queerphobia?"

I'm saying they're not unrelated -- it's not "This time period was better in some ways, like more third spaces, but worse in some ways, like more racism and ableism." It's "Those good things, those third spaces, those labor unions, those safe neighborhoods, that sense of community, relied upon the systemic exclusion of a dehumanized underclass, and as soon as any civil rights pressure was put on that systemic exclusion, the sense of community crumbled."

The pattern is clear and recurring: Privileged people build a public space for "the community", marginalized people start using it (sometimes after a court case or two), the public place gets a reputation for being "full of" marginalized people, privileged people build a private space they can exclude people from, privileged people abandon the public space, the public space gets neglected and deprioritized because "nobody (who matters) uses it anymore," the public place goes to shit from neglect and possibly closes, the private space gets expensive, privileged people lament the loss of the public space.

Privileged people killed public pools rather than share them with Black people. Mortally wounded public schools rather than share them with people of color and religious minorities. Are trying to kill public libraries rather than share them with queer people and unhoused people and neurodivergent people. Can't revive public transportation for fear of sitting next to poor people. It's white flight all the way down.

The whole "Social democracy is the left wing of fascism" claim is tankie ridiculousness, but like most tankie ridiculousness, there's an underlying grain of truth. In this case, the underlying grain of truth is that widespread support for public services is a much easier sell when people don't think they'll have to share resources or public space with people they consider inferior. It's not a coincidence that some of the countries that provide the highest quality of life for their abled citizens are some of the worst to noncitizens and disabled people.

And it's not like Weird Queer Left-Leaning Types have a great track record of sharing public space with people different from yourselves, either. Y'all can't be normal about someone wearing a yarmulke at Pride. Y'all can't be normal about adults playing board games with kids. There's no way you'd be okay with unsupervised, uncontrolled, unmedicated-by-choice schizophrenic people hanging out and talking to themselves. You cannot handle public third spaces.

Yes, blame corporations and advertisers for privatizing public spaces, but also blame the social prejudice that willingly forks over money to avoid sharing public space with Those People.

[thegnomelord]

Shark Merperson reader is real gud.

- 🦈

(HOLY FUCK. THANK YOU TO WHICH EVER ANON REQUESTED THAT BECAUSE I FUCKIN LOVE SHARKS.

Now Im thinking of a Price x Reader, because shars are the oldest species known to exist. Obviously sharks arent immortal, they've just been on this earth way b4 tress bloody existed.

So Im thinking the readers an eldritch creature, they represent sharks as a whole, as long sharks exsist they exsist. Heck they mights of even of been Prices mentor when he was in his draconic 100s? (Late 20s?).

Imagine Price missing his friend calls him up to see hows hes doing. Reader elated to meet an old friend, accepts the invitation to meets up with him. Reader definitely scolds him for lossing a wing, honestly is pertrified Price lost a piece of himself and thought he was retiring due to it. Cut ahort to him smacking him slap dab on the head when he learns he's lost it a long time ago and didnt tell him.

Cue wholesome interactions th 141 and etc. Heck maybe some romance with Price.

Just a blurb i had yo tell you abt)

Okay, this tickles my eldrich abomination trying to act human itch

CW:SFW, eldritch reader, kissing

Price knows you're there the second he steps onto the old wooden pier, able to smell seaweed and brine and something in the air — what he thinks the bottom of the ocean smells like, old rot of decaying whales and older heat of geothermal vents — the soft wind billowing his hair like the breathing of an elderly beast.

He knows you're watching him, passively at least, washed up mermaid purses dotting the beach to give you a glimpse of the world above the waves through the yolks vital for the pup's survival, able to dream of the warm sun and course sand while you slumber beneath the waves.

"Oi, ser, yer look like a wee lass waiting for her sailor." Soap's sharp voice cuts through the air, the werewolf far too energized for his own good, the sand in his fur not dampening his mood when he can just shake himself off and flick the grains on Simon.

"Hah," Price snorts, "Maybe I am." He tilts his head back to the sea, sharp eyes watching the breaking waves. "Time to wake up old friend." He mutters your mangled name under his breath, mortal lips and vocal cords unable to replicate your own voice.

The young ones in his team lack the sight needed to notice your form slowly rise from the sea like a submarine breaking through the ice, only the visible flicker of air and the receding water keying them in. Price old enough to see you without needing the inner surface of his skull to be dotted with eyes. Though even he sees your real form like a man having a stroke — vaguely familiar at first yet the details are undefinable — flesh and sea melding together without rhyme or reason, long strings of seaweed bearing miniature eyes with pups wriggling inside, cookie cutter sharks boring holes through finless corpses so long eel sharks may form ever reforming sinews, fossilized bone and old rock giving giving support to the massive insult to reality's laws; birth and life wrapped up in death.

You're an affront to logic. And with one sneeze from existence itself you're human standing in front of him.

Eerily human.

Perfectly human.

Almost.

"What the fuck?" He can faintly hear Gaz's voice, all of them only now noticing you stand where you weren't previously.

Your hand touches his back before he even registers you move, always slightly damp, "When did this happen?" You ask as you trace the spot where his wing used to be. "What did this?"

"And a 'hello' to you too sweetheart." He clasps a hand around your waist, purring softly in greeting as he pulls you closer to his chest. Even if he sees you once every few centuries, even if you don't possess the ability to reciprocate, his love for you is as youthful as it was when he was but a wyrm.

Your facial features remain neutral like the ones of sunken statues, but you blink, and for a few seconds he can see that yawning abyss in your eyes. "Hi." You say, your hand still tracing the bump created by atrophied flight muscles, trying to judge how fresh it is. "Explain."

Your tone sounds like a predator baring it's teeth, but he knows you wouldn't harm him. "In a lil' bit." He snorts, puts pressure on your back until he forces your legs to move. "Come, want you to meet my boys."

The introductions are odd on both ends considering you hadn't spoken with people other than Price since that Icarus of a passenger ship mistook your fin for an iceberg and they've never met an old one like you. But you like them, they compliment Price just like the small scale he gave you makes the pearls and gold offered to you through the ages shine more.

Even if your face is unreadable, somehow they can figure out you're not too amused when you hear he'd lost his wing during a mission. "I told you arrogance would cost you." You at least you can mimic a sigh as you rub your head, "At least you retired." You say,

"We wish!" Soap snorts before he can help it, and the next thing they hear is a horrific crack that has them jumping out of their skin.

Your head had whipped 180 degrees with the rest of your body remained in place, the laws of nature nothing more but blurry guidelines. "You. . .did retire?" You ask, voice like the roar of a whirlpool.

"About that," Price starts, unable to finish his thought as you slap him upside the head as if he's still the whelp who thought he could brave an ocean storm.

"You'll put me in the grave." You growl, holding him by the ear, words spilling from your mouth like seawater filling the empty bowels of a ship. "I swear your scaly hide hasn't learned a single thing-"

"Should we help?" Gaz wonders as they watch you chastise their captain like he's a boy.

"No, this is great entertainment." Ghost chuckles.

"Want me ta grab the popcorn?" Johnny ads, already snacking, tail thumping against Simon's leg and growling playfully when Gaz reaches for the snacks.

Eventually your anger relents, mood changing as swiftly as the tide. You spend the time they have left learning about the men he's chosen as his hoard. Kyle's a bit weary of you just due to his harpy nature, but soon enough you two can be found sitting on the pier and fishing, and if you purposely make the waves flow so a big fish snags on Kyle's line, Price never says anything about it, not when his boy has a smile as big as the sun when he looks at the gigantic fish flopping on his hook.

You attempting to help Soap cook the barbeque, but you're fine motor skills are rusty after all these years of slumber, so the food is slightly burnt but Price loves when his food's basically charcoal and eats it with a smile, especially as it keeps you from telling all the embarrassing stories you have of him, from when he got his ass bit by a squid to when he was so horny he ended up rutting against an extra curvy piece of rock, though the rest have already heard enough dirt to bury him for the next several decades.

Unfortunately for Price, you and Ghost hit it off like a house on fire, and Ghost ends up learning far too many ways to hurt people without killing them that most definitely are against the Geneva conventions but you pull seniority on it. Simon in turn, teaches you how to play cards, which, when you're literally a god that can see almost everything including your opponent's cards, means the shmucks Simon ropes into playing you and Simon end up with empty pockets.

As the sun stars to dip behind the horizon you wind up sitting next to Price by the fire, the others splashing in the water.

You feel his wing spread behind your back to pull you closer to him, "I missed this." He says, knowing you won't comment on the 'I missed you' hidden behind his vellum words.

"Last time we met like this Napoleon was still emperor." You hum, a small yawn escaping you, sharp tips of shark teeth peeking from human gums. "And you had two wings." You can't help but point out, making it clear you've not forgiven him about not informing you.

Price pointedly ignores your later comment, his hand tentatively, almost shyly, reaching down to sit on top of yours. "Afraid I'll forget about you?"

His pulse picks up when you shift your hand to hold his, fingers lacing together when you don't have a tail as a human. "You wait for me." You shrug, holding your free arm up, reality wheezing for a few moments before his scale is suddenly in your hand, shiny and unharmed just as it was when he'd given it to you all those years ago. "And I dream of you."

His eyes widen and heart melts, a purr rumbling in his chest "C'mere sweetheart," He rumbles and pulls you into a kiss, free hand holding your chin stable.

You taste of salt and blood, of chilling cold and boiling heat, of something ancient and familiar and Price drinks it all down like a babe, tongue licking in your mouth and fangs nibbling on your lip, feeling you respond, the touch of hungering god as soft as silk, just to him.

But he knows this won't last.

A shark has no reason to stay on land, and a dragon can't survive underwater regardless of how much he wants. Soon you'll return to slumber, and Price won't know when he'll see you again, if he'll see you again, or if you'll learn of his passing when your waves swallow up his ashes.

He doesn't notice the prickling in his eyes but you do, wiping a stray tear with the pad of your thumb, your other hand still wrapped around his. "Don't worry John," You say, statue features finally cracking into a small smile, "I'll stay for a little while." You say and lead him into another kiss, the other members of TF141 leaving you two to catch up on lost time...

[genericpuff]

What do you think about Reachel's new redraw?

I feel like the characters look good but the background is too gray compared to the original one 😕

It's pretty rough, ngl. Not even necessarily because of the art itself, but because it's not a panel she should have ever redrawn to begin with.

The whole point of that scene was to showcase Persephone bringing life into the Underworld, a place where only death existed, but in this redraw it completely lacks that messaging, resulting in a scene of Persephone and Hades simply hugging each other in the dark with very dead-looking foliage surrounding them.

On a structural level, the composition has gone from vertical to horizontal, giving us way too much empty space around them which, again, is failed by the background being so dull and lifeless; Persephone's somehow become even smaller; and worst of all (though I'm sure some people will think I'm overreacting) her hair isn't tucked up in Hades' arms anymore, it's just sort of falling perfectly over his shoulder as one solid goop of pink, strangely changing shape as if it's resting on something but there's clearly nothing there.

That said, my opinions should be taken with grains of salt because I also have a lot of personal beef with a redraw like this - that original panel was my phone background for like, 2 years, and the episode it came from is still one of my favorites of all time in spite of all the criticisms I now have of the series, with art that originally inspired me to want to learn how to draw like Rachel.

There's been a lot of evidence over the past year or so to suggest that Rachel has "fallen out of touch" with her own work and these redraws that she's been making lately feel like tangible proof of that. The context in which she created those original panels no longer exists so to try and redraw them fundamentally misses the point of why they were so iconic to begin with.

I can understand that feeling of falling out of touch with your own work, to the point of not even seeing the appeal of it yourself anymore, but that's all the more reason to keep moving forward, not back. The fact that she's still just muddling around with LO stuff despite announcing two more projects and seemingly not making any progress with either the TV show or Rachel Smythe Presents... it really does seem like she's stuck in limbo. The deadlines and contractual obligations aren't there to motivate her anymore, and while that may now have freed her from the burden of creating LO in such a cramped and unhealthy space - now being able to create it simply for herself - I think the years of working on it have definitely taken its toll on her ability to create the way she used to and so we're seeing those growing pains now.

The real bummer about it is that it's being celebrated as "growth" but it's about as much growth as the illustrated environment above - dead and bleak.

[luvrinne]

╰ tips for eating healthy ও

remember that eating healthy is based on long-terms habits, it’s about making balanced choices to nourish ur body in the best possible way

don’t skip breakfast - breakfast gives u energy to start the day and that’s why it’s the most important meal of the day. choose healthy options sush eggs, fruits and yogurt.

includes a variety of foods - be sure to include fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins and healthy fats in your daily diet. the more variety of foods you consume, the more different nutrients you will get.

control portions - pay attention to the size of the portions to avoid overeating. use smaller plates and serve suitable portions. listen to your body and eat until you feel satisfied, not until you are completely full.

limit the consumption of processed foods - highly processed foods are usually rich in trans fats, sugars and sodium, and lack essential nutrients. try to limit its consumption and opt for fresh and natural food.

drink enough water - water is essential to keep your body hydrated and for the proper functioning of all systems. replaces sugary and carbonated drinks with water to reduce the consumption of empty calories.

cooking at home - preparing your own meals gives you control over the ingredients and the way you cook. avoid eating out frequently, as restaurants usually serve large portions and contain less healthy ingredients.

reduces salt and sugar intake - many processed foods contain excessive amounts of salt and sugar. read food labels and look for healthier options with low salt and sugar content.

plan your meals - organize your meals in advance to avoid resorting to quick and unhealthy options when you are hungry. prepare healthy meals and snacks and have them on hand to avoid falling into unhealthy temptations.

chew slowly and enjoy the food - take your time to eat and chew slowly. this will help you enjoy the food, feel satisfied faster and avoid overeating.

increase the consumption of fruits and vegetables - fruits and vegetables are rich sources of vitamins, minerals and fiber. try to include a portion in each meal and as a snack between meals.

remember there are no tricks for a healthy diet. all you need is desire and will 🫶🏻

@ luvrinne

[who-is-page]

I've seen (typically older) therians talking about how they feel that their subculture as animal-people and nonhumans is slowly disappearing. This is a point that, in all honesty, I'm inclined to agree with-- although I think I'd perhaps frame it less as "disappearing" and more as just "changing."

Because let's be honest with ourselves here: is the subculture actually vanishing, or is it just evolving into radical new dimensions as excited newbies join and find different focal points for their nonhumanity? As they express themselves in whole new dimensions and ways, as they explore a digital landscape that didn't exist ten, twenty years ago? As the older members lose touch with the newer members, and no one bridges that gap between the two?

I think I'm also extra frustrated because when I see these discussions go down, a lot of the time they're either 1) self-pitying, or 2) finger-pointing.

It's not bad or wrong to look around and realize that the community you found comfort in has changed in ways you could have never predicted and which leave you feeling off-kilter. But approaching these changes with a complete lack of curiosity, with an absolute woe-is-me sort of perspective, where you drag your feet and glare bitter daggers at everyone else, isn't the way to do anything.

And going around trying to pin blame on whoever happens to be at hand is an even worse way to approach it. "It's the furry fandom's faults!" "It's the alterhumans' faults!" "It's the humans' faults!" Who does this approach realistically help? What does this do, beyond ostracize people and make whoever is saying it feel temporarily vindicated in their solitude, in a vicious cycle where they never step out of their ivory tower and always use how alone they are as "proof" that they're right?

I think having discussions about the ways the subculture has changed is extremely worthwhile. But I think that they're at their best when enthusiasm over sharing takes a main, central point. When you see people excitedly telling others about Werecards for the first time, or when you get to introduce someone to the concept of personal websites and webrings, or when you link someone who's only just starting to learn that there's others like them to old and new groups and forums alike. These are the ways you keep those traditions alive, these are they ways you get people both informed of and really excited about them.

And like, maybe I'm just cheesy and optimistic, but building bridges is way more fun than building walls! And more than that, I also think it's fundamentally something that's significantly more helpful and productive. I'm always so hype when I see community projects taking off that involve connecting many different people, especially if they're centered on a specific group or identity, but I also think that those sorts of things are how we keep a community healthy and moving, how we avoid things getting stagnant and rotting away.

I've said it before in past essays I've published and I'll say it again: alterhuman communities survive through their internal momentum. We're still around and kicking because we're a bunch of opinionated, passionate animals and objects and entities and people and concepts and and and-- this is what we are! This is how we all, both together and individually as separate groups, continue to be around. We write. We argue. We dance. We leave tracks. And then others see all those things, months or years down the line, and they know they're not alone. They know that it's okay to join in around the campfire, and they end up leaving their own tracks, and the cycle repeats.

So I guess what I'm saying here is that I'm not just beseeching people to create, but I'm asking you to create with others. To extend that paw towards the people around you in your immediate community spaces and wider, and to realize that yeah, the digital grains of sand and time might erode and change the landscapes we're all in, but we can still have a damn good time exploring the new nooks and crannies around us and showing others our old hidey-holes and favorite spots to watch the sun set.

[sugawhaaa]

💄Ateez smut headcanons💄

🌸Cock sizes/description🌸

A/N:: this is all for shits and giggles and should be taken with a grain of salt. Also these are just my opinions and if u disagree that's okay 🥰 u let ur little delulu mind go wild pookems <3 don't ask why Sans is a whole ahh essay compared to the other members idk...he's not even my bias...

Ateez smut h/c links:: here

Hongjoong

I think we need to praise this man more tbh. He probably doesn't have a very thick cock but I know that thing is long as hell. If you're the typa person who likes deep throating you should fear this man because there will be a bulge in your throat. It twitches a lot when he's about to cum and if you pull back you can physically see it inch back and forth in desperation. He may not have all the attributes to be associated with a "Good cock" but the main point is he knows how to fucking use it ;)

Seonghwa

Veiny as fuck. Similar to hongjoong, it's not very girthy per se but it is long. His main strength though is the texture on it. His veins are always bulging out like they're about to explode and his tip is very defined, the rim around it adding good texture. Another strong point he has is if you're doing reverse cowgirl or doggy style he has massive balls. I don't care how weird you call me I can just tell he does and they'd feel like heaven slapping against your clit.

Yunho

We got another long boy up in here but he's definitely thicker than the other two. His shaft would be so smooth, like silk omg I'm going insane. And his tip even more so. I feel like he's generally a pretty sensitive guy but that makes it all the more fun. When he first pushes past your tight walls just hugging his cock for dear life it'd somehow make him even harder. Also the rim to his tip has to be the thickest thing to face this earth dear lord.

Yeosang

Okay, this might be a hot take...I've seen other people headcanons for this prompt and everyone's like "he's a little baby!" No. Have you seen this man's body? Sure his dick might not be the longest of the group but it's thick and veiny as hell. Pair that with his massive and sensitive balls and you have better penetration than any of those 10-foot-long cocks.

San

This man...have any of yall seen that photo that was trending on Twitter where he was showing off the tattoo on his waist and there's a bunch of veins leading down his pants? FUCK BRO. (If you haven't I will post it for all eyes to see bc I literally busted on the spot) San is similar to Yunho in a lot of ways except more textured. He's got this perfectly shaped cock with a slight curl to it when he's hard, veins trailing right to the tip, a rosie red tip that's oh so sensitive to the touch, but he doesn't know how to use his beautiful cock 💔 not to say he's a complete dumbass when it comes to sex bc...let's be real but he's just not as skilled as he'd like to be 💔

Mingi

I have a simple statement to start off Mingi. Long and strong. Mingi has everything but his main strong point is his length. He's probably the longest in the group and God he loves abusing the power that comes with it. He loves to tease you with his tip, just barely putting it in and making you beg for him, making sure you include something all the lines of "put your long cock inside me" I feel like Mingi also has silky soft skin on his shaft like AH-sorry.

Wooyoung

Once again I feel like we need to praise Wooyoungs cock a bit more. He's very similar to Mingi. Definitely the second longest but his setback is he's quite thin and that's why he abuses circular motions in your pussy/ass. He'd sit you on top of him and roll his rough tip around every inch of your little hole, occasionally thrusting up into the sensitive spots. His lack of girth sounds like a big loss but he loves it, being able to tease to such an extent.

Jongho

Similar to Yeosang in a few ways. He may not be as long as a light post but he's got the girth and the veins. Once again he'd have heavy balls too, eager to slap against your ass or clit and it'd drive him WILD. He absolutely adores making you ride him in cowgirl and making you grind on his balls.

[janearts]

okay but what is the state of astarion's kidneys? what has roisia observed in regards to astarion's kidneys? i must now know!

[Anon is referencing this post.]

¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Who knows? Roisia's observations below the read-more.

[Just a wee reminder that I'm not a medical professional. Take everything I say below with a grain of salt as I am just as likely to be flat out wrong. I also want to acknowledge that I'm mixing in some stereotypical vampire traits with what we can figure out about vampires in BG3.]

Roisia believes that Astarion has a partially functioning cardiovascular system. That is to say, he certainly contains blood. He bruises and he bleeds. He can even perish from exsanguination himself. He can experience erections (presumably, anyway). Why he doesn't have a heartbeat is beyond her. Does his blood just sit stagnant in his arteries and veins? What the hell is going on in there?

In the living, kidneys form a pivotal function: they filter the waste (urea) in your blood and create urine to be expelled from the body via the bladder. They also perform a critical function by regulating the blood in your body (volume, pressure, acidity, etc.).

So Roisia knows, for example, that the average medium-sized humanoid has roughly 5 litres of blood in them. The kidneys make sure you stay at whatever level is natural for you, because excessive fluid will increase the pressure on your arterial walls. So the question for Roisia becomes: if Astarion drinks blood to excess, would he experience hypertension or bloating? Or perhaps both? Or maybe neither?

In some form or fashion, the waste that Astarion intakes (e.g., if you're into the vampire version of menstruation sexy times, if he drinks from Roisia's external jugular, etc.) or generates through his own bodily functions needs to be expelled. Does he piss it out? Does he sweat it out? Does he vomit it out? Does it misty escape out of his body while he rests?

The answer could simply be: the waste is magicked out of his body and that's that. If Roisia knew that Astarion urinates, then she would assume his kidney is probably functioning to some degree. If his urinary system is non-functioning, then she would be curious as to how the critical functions mentioned above are managed or if they're even necessary at all for the undead.

TL;DR: Roisia would likely have some sort of idea, but I (IRL) don't have the information I feel I need to even hazard a guess. And I must say questions like this would make Roisia want so very, very badly to take a peek at his insides or at the insides of any vampire or vampire spawn. She is not a Dark Urge character, but that is her dark urge born from an insatiable curiosity to figure out how people—living, dead, or undead—work.

Bonus Points:

Roisia would answer her own questions above with the following theories:

Digestive system could be partially functional if the blood that is consumed is sent to the stomach and then absorbed in whole or in part through the digestive process.

Respiratory system is also likely partially functional. I.e., Astarion can use his lungs (to speak or sigh, for example), but neither a vampire nor a vampire spawn requires air.

Endocrine system is likely no longer functional. (This is my own headcanon so Roisia doesn't have to worry about an unwanted pregnancy.) She knows that the endocrine systems of a Vampire lord are likely somewhat functional due to the existence of Dhampyr. His colder body temperature could be the result of the lack of function of the hypothalamus.

Integumentary system is likely functional to a certain degree. E.g., vampires and vampire spawn are naturally regenerative, but if you were to shave Astarion bald, would his hair grow back to the way it was prior to his death? Skin also helps with temperature regulation and provides a barrier from UV radiation, so it may not be fully functional if his body is a colder temperature and is extremely sensitive to sunlight. (Are his melanocytes dysfunctional or dead?)

Lymphatic system is likely functional to some degree. This would assist the blood consumption + waste removal processes, presumably. It's a bit of a stretch, but since Astarion can experience a diseased condition type (e.g., Flesh Rot, Contagion), perhaps surviving that (after 25 turns) could be spun as an indication of a non-magical immune response?

[najia-cooks]

[ID: One puffy circle of bread, and three which have been halved to show an internal pocket, on a striped blue and white kitchen towel. End ID]

خبز الكماج / Khubiz al-kmaj (Palestinian flatbread)

Khubiz al-kmaj is a thin flatbread with an internal pocket. It is commonly eaten with breakfast to scoop up dips such as hummus, used to eat stews, served alongside main dishes, and used to make sandwiches and to wrap falafel. "خُبْز," pronounced "khubz" or (in Levantine varieties of Arabic) "khubiz," comes from the root خ ب ز (kh-b-z), which also produces the word "خَبَزَ" "khabaza" (Levantine: "خَبَز" "khabaz"), "to bake."‎

This bread is eaten across the Levant and in Greece, with slight differences in terminology and style. It is variously called "خُبْز العَرَبِيّ" (khubz al-'arabiyy; Arabian bread), "خُبْز "البَلَدِيّ (khubz al-baladiyy; bread from my country), or (occasionally) "خُبْز البيتة" or "البيتا" (khubz al-bita), a borrowing from "pita." ("Pita" itself is perhaps from Greek "πίτα" "pita," or the modern Hebrew "פיתה.") The bread is referred to as "khubiz al-kmaj" in Palestine, from the Turkic "kömeç" / كُمَجْ‎ ("bread baked in ashes"). The collective term for the bread in general is كماج (kmāj); each individual piece of bread is referred to with the singulative "كماجة‎" (kmāja).

Today, kmaj is frequently made with white flour; some people add olive oil or milk powder to ensure a very soft dough. Leila el-Haddad writes that a more traditional method omits milk and uses whole white spring wheat, a whiteish wheat grain harvested in late spring and ground without removing the bran.

Since the late 20th century, many Palestinian households have used an electric cooker (طنجرة الكهرباء; ṭanjara al-kahrabā') to cook kmaj, placing one kmaja inside of the chamber and one on top and allowing both to bake at the same time. These aluminum and tin cookers, which were invented in Gaza and became popular there during the first intifada in the late 1980s, are designed to route electricity through a metal pipe or spiral wire on the underside of their lids, heating both the top and the inside of the cooker simultaneously.

The cookers' popularity can be attributed in part to a curfew that Israel imposed on Gazan refugee camps during the intifada, supposedly in an attempt to restrict the movements of resistance fighters. Refugees in the Jabalia camp in the north, for example, unable to afford home stoves, and without the necessary outdoor space to make familial clay ovens, would have to wait in line for hours every day to get bread from shared ovens, risking curfew violations; household electric cookers were far more convenient. The success of local industry and innovation in the form of Gazan-manufactured technology was also symbolically and strategically important during the first intifada, in which Palestinians employed strikes and boycotts (largely organized by women) of Israeli companies and goods as a strategy of resistance to occupation.

An electric cooker is still today considered a very important tool, as it spares families the need to purchase kmaj (the price of which was soaring compared to the cost of flour in the 2010s, and which was often of inferior quality compared to what could be made at home). They are frequently given as wedding or housewarming presents. Lack of access to electricity, though, imposes a limiting condition on the usage of these cookers, as Israel has for over a decade strangled the flow of power to Gaza: Abier Almasri wrote in 2017 that tasks such as cooking and laundry had to be rushed during the four or so hours a day when electricity was available. In this environment, electric cookers are useful in that they can prepare a lot of bread in a short period of time. Fathia Radwan said in 2022 that she would wake up early, after the nightly power outage, to prepare more than 100 loaves of bread at a time for her family of nine.

Today, the taxes that Israel levies on imports of raw materials into Gaza makes the cost of new electric cookers, which sometimes exceeds 120 shekels (37 USD), too expensive for some families to afford. The difficulty and expense of importing materials, and the impossibility of exporting goods to foreign markets with the advent of the 2007 siege, also limit the number of factories in Gaza that are able to manufacture these cooking pots. The aluminum industry, introduced to Gaza in the 1960s and once the basis of a manufacturing and economic renaissance in the region, deteriorated as a result of the siege, as factories were no longer able to export goods to the West Bank and were newly reliant on imports of raw materials from Egypt. Even parts to repair electric cookers are expensive, due to a tax levied on items judged by Israel to have a "dual," i.e. a possible civilian and military, use.

Still, repairman Iyad Faraj estimates that over half the homes in Gaza have and use an electric cooker, as maintaining, repairing, and operating one is cheaper than having a gas pipe installed (at 68 shekels, 20 USD) and purchasing gas. Electric pots thus stand in many homes as both a utilitarian item, and a symbol of Palestinian ingenuity and resistance to Israel's attempts at impoverishment and starvation.

Support Palestinian resistance by contributing to Palestine Action’s bail fund or to Palestine Legal’s defence fund, by attending court or making a sign to support the Elbit Eight, or by buying an e-sim for distribution in Gaza.

Ingredients:

500g (4 cups + 3 Tbsp) white whole wheat (spring) flour

1/2 Tbsp (5g) active dry yeast

1/2 Tbsp (6.25g) vegetarian granulated sugar

1/2 Tbsp (7.25g) kosher salt

About 2 1/4 cups (530mL) room-temperature water, divided

Olive oil

White whole wheat flour is flour that has a white color once ground, despite the fact that it includes both the bran and the germ of the wheatberry. It is milled from white spring wheat (so named because it is harvested in late spring).

You may instead mix white all-purpose flour and brown whole wheat flour in your desired proportion. Keep in mind that whole wheat flour will need more water and more kneading than white flour. If you’re using all white flour, you will need about 1 1/4 cup (300mL) water.

Instructions:

1. Mix flour, yeast, sugar, and salt in a large mixing bowl. Add water gradually until dry ingredients come together into a sticky dough.

2. Knead the dough on the countertop or in a wide, shallow bowl until smooth, about 5 minutes. (If using whole wheat or white whole wheat flour) continue incorporating water into the dough as you knead to maintain a tacky texture.

3. Fold the dough into a ball and return to the bowl, seam-side down. Pat the top of the dough with some olive oil, cover the bowl, and let rise for an hour.

4. Pinch the dough into about 8 balls of equal size (about 110g each). Cover and let rest for 10 minutes.

5. On a lightly floured surface, roll out each ball of dough into a circle about 1/4" (1/2cm) in thickness. Set dough circles on a surface prepared with parchment paper and cover closely with a kitchen towel or plastic wrap. Let rest and ferment for at least 1 and up to 10 hours.

An overnight rest is traditional in Palestine and will create a more complex flavor in the bread (see note below).

6. Remove each circle of dough from its resting place with a metal spatula and roll it out to a 1/4” thickness again. Preheat a baking stone or sheet in the top third of an oven at 500 °F (260 °C), and then cook breads in the oven for three minutes, until large bubbles have begun to form.

7. Flip bread over and cook for another 3 minutes on the other side, until golden brown and puffed up completely.

8. Wrap breads in a kitchen towel or tea towel and allow to steam for a few minutes while the others cook.

Notes

The climate where I live is dry enough that I have discovered a risk of my breads becoming crackers if I leave them out overnight. The dried-out flatbread does puff up in the oven, but the resulting product is not as nice and fluffy as it should be.

Through experimentation, I have found the best method of both preventing drying out and guaranteeing that the flatbreads will puff up during cooking the next day is:

1. Roll out the dough and place dough circles on a lightly oiled surface. Cover them closely with lightly oiled plastic wrap.

2. The next day, fold dough circles back into balls. Place seam-side down and roll out again on a lightly floured surface.

3. Bake as described above.

If you live in a humid environment, the first instructions given in the recipe above should work for you.

[takusan-no-ai]

Let’s take a break

PAIRING: Lycaon x Female Reader (Romantic) (Angst)

SUMMARY: (Y/N) is a workaholic; and while Lycaon can relate to always having work to do, he also understands the importance of rest.

Lycaon loves his job dearly, always going above and beyond to achieve the best. And just as much as he loves his job, he loves his girlfriend. (Y/N), she’s a proxy of few words; not out of shyness, but simply a lack of time to speak. She works so much her inter-knot level maxed out in a month.

It was on one such days that Lycaon was lucky enough to have the day off. While the couple often worked together, actually spending quality time wasn’t as often as Lycaon would like. So anytime he could, he made it a goal to perfect every opportunity.

“Clean environment? Check. Flowers? Check. Favorite snacks? Check.” He mulled over every last detail. “She should be here soon,” he said while fixing his tie and brushing his fur. He sat on the couch, looking at the clock as time ticked by.

An hour late. Lycaon had already discussed with (Y/N) the meetup time. “She’s always been hard working, but it seems that has long gone past a healthy amount.” With his mind set in stone, Lycaon made his way to (Y/N)’s home.

“The number you are trying to reach is either turned off or in a hollow.” Lycaon tried to call (Y/N) for the fifth time; at first he thought she might’ve been away from her phone, but now his worry was growing stronger. He finally made it to her door and knocked multiple times, only to get no reply.

Lycaon leaned on the door and listened for anything. A sudden thud rung in his ears as he kicked in the door. “(Y/N)!” He screamed out.

The room was dark, windows covered with no light seeping through. Electronic equipment, takeout, and paperwork dirtied the living space. Lycaon sighed deeply, understanding the situation. He looked around until he found (Y/N), on the floor, having passed out and falling off her chair.

He moved her to the bed so she could sleep and proceeded to clean the entire house. Everything was spotless by the time he was done, and it was at that point he heard the floorboards creaking from the bedroom.

(Y/N) opened her door, having just woken up. There was a small bruise on her forehead from the bang, but it wasn’t anything permanent. She looked around aimlessly, noticing the clean interior (and probably exterior) of her home. She immediately knew what had happened. Her head hung low as she walked towards her couch and sat down.

Lycaon placed a platter of sliced fruits, veggies, and whole grains on the table. “They help relieve stress,” he said. (Y/N) covered her face.

“I’m so sorry–”

“It’s okay.”

“If I had finished the work faster–”

“That wouldn’t have fixed anything.” He quickly shuts her down. (Y/N) grabbed an apple slice and ate it. Lycaon sat next to her, placing his tail in her lap. “You can pet it if you wish.”

(Y/N) petted his tail, the stress evaporating from her, but it was still too much. She began to cry, no amount of strength to hold back her tears. Lycaon pet her hair as she leaned on him.

“Why do you torture yourself like this?”

(Y/N) didn’t say anything for a while, not until she stopped crying.

“Ever since I was little, I grew up in a house where if you couldn’t do everything yourself after being taught once, you weren’t good enough. It was like a war zone, a never ending one.” Lycaon’s ears began to droop as she continued on.

“I was ostracized in my family, but the teachers, and my employers always praised me. So I guess I clung to that feeling. And sometimes…,” she started tearing up again.

“What is it?” Lycaon asked her.

“Sometimes…I feel like maybe I don’t really love you. Like maybe I’m self consciously clinging to you because of your praise, just like everyone else. And it hurts! Because I really do love you, but I’m afraid that I’ve just convinced myself to believe that.”

Lycaon caressed (Y/N)’s cheek, making eye contact with her. “If you know that you love me, then you love me. The way your heart beats, mine is in sync with. I feel your pain and you feel mine. That’s not fake. And it never will be. I love you too, (Y/N).”

She smiled, hugging him so tight it will likely bruise. “For starters, I’m going to cut back on the workload.”

“And I will be of service to you, my love. As always and forever.”

- Fin

[creative-caramel-coffee]

I think I expressed my self terribly wrong sorry!

So basically reader is sick but maybe the team doesn’t realise and they do things unintentionally that make reader even more sick (like leaving the windows open, telling her to go buy something or I don’t know) until Wanda and Nat have enough and realise that reader is sick and tell the team to stop

-🦜

Stubborn and Sick

Pairings: Wandanat x R

Word count: 1K

Summary: Your sick and stubborn, but you also can’t back down from a challenge. What happens when Tony gets involved?

TW: sickness, fever, almost kinda fainting? (Idk), bread slander, fever induced vertigo, headache etc.

A/n Hehehe bread slander. Grains and seeds sucks so bad. I don’t care if its healthy it tastes like chunky cardboard. White bread and whole meal all the way peeps.

You were stubborn. It was a fact, and everyone knew it. So, when you got sick after falling in a frozen lake on the last mission Wanda and Nat decided to wait until you came to them for help instead of trying everything to convince you to let them help you.

The rest of the team however was more than a little blind when it came to other people's needs, not for lack of trying but more so because they were dense, and not just in terms of muscles.

You stood in the kitchen, the fever you had managed to develop this morning was throwing you for a loop. You were making some toast, hoping you would be able to deal with that at least. Your throat hurt so bad and there was a dull headache settling in for the long run it seemed.

You probably shouldn’t have stayed up all night trying to finish the mission report for fury. But tony had bed you a hundred bucks he would finish his before you did, and you weren’t one to back down from easy money.

You finished buttering the toast and patted the cash in your pocket and smiled to yourself. Turning to put the knife in the sink to clean later the world spun. You staggered a bit and held onto the bench with both hands leaning against it heavily.

“Damn this stupid fever” you muttered. When you vision cleared you deposited the knife and went back to the plate. Picking it up and setting out for your room. Your muscles hurt and your head hurt more. You had barely made it three feet down the hall when you heard a voice from the kitchen.

“Who ate all the bread?” It was Clint so you hightailed it out of there, knowing if he found it was you, he would send you to buy more. And you were pretty sure a trip to the shops would kill you at this point. Alas, fate was not on your side today. Being sick you were clumsy and slow due to the fever. Needless to say, Clint caught you easily. He scowled at the toast you were holding.

“I wanted a sandwich.” He grumbled. At this point tony walked past.

“Whats up Legolas?” Tony chirped probably hyped up on coffee and energy drinks.

“L/n here ate all the bread.” He said still scowling at the toast.

“Then it seemed fair she goes to buy more.” Tony grinned, “I know she has the money for it.” You glared at him.

“Fine.” You growled. So, despite the pounding headache and sore muscles, the fever and growing ache in your knees and back you submitted.

You huffed and nibbled on the toast before leaving it on the desk. As you left the room you shot the delicious toast a mournful longing look. It simple sat and waited.

The shops were awful to say the least. The lights hummed which hurt your head and the brightness hurt your eyes. Parts of you hurt that you didn’t know existed let alone could feel. You slouched and shuffled down the bread aisle. There were so many different types. You grabbed the first one you saw when a sudden wave of vertigo hit, and you stumbled like you had in the kitchen. Leaning against the shelf and closing your eyes.

Yelena was in town and so her and Nat were having a movie night, and as all good movie nights need, they were out getting snacks. So, you can imagine Natasha’s surprise when she saw you looking just about ready to pass out in the bread aisle. She wasted no time rushing to your side and steadying you with her hands on your shoulders.

“Y/n? Y/n!” She said patting you lightly on the cheek. You were very pale and seemed only mildly lucid at best.

Nat took the bread from your hands and shoved it in Yelena’s direction who took it and inspected it.

“Grains and seeds?” She mumbled. “Gross.” She shoved it back on the shelf and picked up a loaf of white bread.

“Y/n/n i need you to open your eyes for me sweetheart.” She said and you mumbled something incoherent.

“What was that love?” Nat asked feeling your forehead with the back of her hand. You were way too hot and defiantly running a high fever.

“I said m sick natty. ‘N i don’ feel good.” You slurred and Natasha looked around to Yelena before realising she had gone to buy the bread for you. She didn’t know why you wanted it but if it was worth almost dying for, she would buy it for you. After all you were dating her sister.

Nat scanned you up and down deciding that this had gone on for too long. In a gentle movement she scooped you into her arms and you tiredly rested your head on her chest eyes still shut and muttering nonsense. Yelena and Nat met at the register and the three of you headed back to the compound. Being an avenger Nat did receive too many odd looks for carrying her very pale and sick looking girlfriend through the shopping centre.

On the way back Yelena done with you in the back on Nat’s lap. She was fanning you with her hands in a fruitless attempt to cool you down. She had dialled Wanda who was going to meet them in your shared room with supplies and a wet cloth for you.

Nat easily carried you out of the car and back to the room. Wanda took your temperature and Yelena went to put the bread in the kitchen slightly thrown off by her sister being so domestic all of a sudden.

Your temperature as expected was far too high and so they went about cooling you down with a cloth and fever reducers. After a bit you were asleep with Wanda and Natasha laid beside you careful not to add too much extra heat to your already furnace-like temperature.

You rested and it was simple to say that Nat’s movie night gained an extra two people. Well … one witch and a half dead, half sick and fully asleep avenger.

MASTERLIST

[nightmanatee]

But almost completely absent from the upfront festivities was Doctor Who, the iconic British sci-fi series that Disney+ now co-produces with the BBC following what was undoubtedly one of the biggest global TV show deals of the past decade. Doctor Who was handed a minor bit of real estate at the North Javits, but its lack of front-and-center placement may spin a yarn about the series’ position in the Disney priority log nearly three years on from the deal being struck.

Noises that it may not last beyond its initial two seasons are already reverberating around international TV circles, and one source close to the production tells us that they feel its future hangs in the balance already. Disney, the BBC, and co-producers BBC Studios and Bad Wolf all declined Deadline’s interview requests for this article.

“I thought it was a mixed bag,” says Tony Jordan, Society Co-ordinator of the 30,000-strong Doctor Who Appreciation Society, who says this feeling broadly reflects that of the mega fans he speaks with regularly. “When Russell’s return was announced I thought, ‘That’s fantastic’ but maybe I remembered the good stuff and chose to forget the not so good stuff. His track record of ending seasons with two parters has been widely varying in success, for example.”

When consolidated seven-day viewing figures were taken into account, the entire series averaged an audience down almost 1.5 million per episode compared to Whittaker’s last in 2021, according to Barb data supplied by overnights.tv, while it failed to light up Barb’s daily seven-day streaming rankings, which were at the time dominated by the likes of Baby Reindeer and Clarkson’s Farm, and evergreens such as EastEnders.

One of our sources close to the production believes Disney will “need to make a decision” on its future relationship with the show soon after The War Between the Land and the Sea wraps, and this could have a bearing on how long the in-demand Gatwa ... this source predicts the final episode has been left open-ended, with the possibility remaining that Gatwa could regenerate into his successor if he chooses to exit. Gatwa’s agents hadn’t responded to Deadline’s request for comment by press time.

take it with a grain of salt but not only is gatwa not sure if he wants to stay in the show, not only the ratings keep dropping down (i hate talking about them but maybe disney isn't), not only is disney now in doubt but the whole "lets bring back old showrunner old actors old writers etc etc and make a deal with a big mouse" is not a... good idea???

wow who (me) could've thought.

[hatsukeii]

i think i’m gonna pick up a 🎸 with a few 🎵 decorations including a ‘rivals to lovers’ guitar pick and a ‘cooking class au’ strap. and lately i’ve heard that osamu is my biggest fan ;)

got it! the band you’ve joined is…

hell’s kitchen / timeskip!osamu miya x reader

genre(s): fluff, slight crack, rivals to possible? lovers, culinary class au! food!

warning(s): nothing!! im worried that osamu might be ooc here or it's not rivalry enough but i hope it works out!>!!>!

wc: ~1.7k

your first gig is at…a culinary class?!

setlist:

🎵girlfriend, hemlocke springs

🎵comedy, gen hoshino

🎵get him back!,olivia rodrigo

How many things can someone possibly put in a rice ball? To slurp, or not to slurp? Better yet, is slapping somebody with a whole head of pickled cabbage a viable course of action?

It's humiliating, almost, paired with Osamu Miya in every culinary class. Not because of his lack of skill- he's good, too good even. But he smacks his tongue audibly against the roof of his mouth every time he digs into your cooking, slurps until showers of broth come spitting from the bowl, wipes his hands on his apron, slathering emulsifications of aioli and hollandaise onto rough canvas fabric, then grabs your waist to walk behind you. Every quirk of his is incomplete without his signature, shit-eating smirk. Every class has you considering swinging whatever tool you have in hand into his face.

Unfortunately, that day is not today. Onigiri only requires hands, and seeing that Osamu has formed six seemingly perfect balls of seaweed wrapped rice, he is clearly much better at using them than you are. Handiwork training is what today's chef called this atrocity. To move beyond being a cook to a chef, you must learn the first tool of cooking- your hands, he said. From the corner of your eye, you catch Osamu's amused glances towards the two funky looking shapes on your plate, and the panicked pulses of your palms against a handful of slippery, seasoned rice. He picks up one of the six onigiri of his own, the rounded tip of the triangle disappearing into his mouth as he chews, agonisingly slowly, smacking his tongue the way he knows you hate. A grumble elicits from your throat, your hands squeezing tighter against the sticky grains in your grasp, only for more chunks to fall apart.

"Let me help."

"No."

"Whatever you say."

He walks over now, biting a second corner off his onigiri as his hips lean against your side of the counter. His lips smack together obnoxiously, teeth squelching and grinding at rice and salmon. You irk your brows when the rice in your grasp seems to stop sticking to each other. It takes one look at your now opaque bowl of water for you to realise that you've washed all the starch off in your attempts to release the grains from your palms. Osamu figured it out when you dipped your hand into the bowl for the seventh time.

"Mix it into the rest of the rice that you have. That helps."

You hate that he's right, because when you do what he's told you to, the rest of the rice comes around the wet grains and sticks to them like they're supposed to. He pops the rest of his onigiri into his mouth, swiping his hands together before rubbing them over the sides of his rice-decorated apron. You try again, scooping up a lukewarm ball of rice. Flattening it against your palm, you search for the bowl of salmon, eyes landing on an empty bowl adorned with sad, pink flakes of salt-grilled fish. Osamu's already sliding the rest of his salmon over the counter.

"Need extra?" His mouth is still stuffed, a single piece of rice sticks to the corner of his mouth.

"Thanks."

You dump a spoonful of salmon into the centre of your rice pattie, before sticking your free hand into the water and folding your palms into each other. The rice sticks to your fingers when you pull away, and you groan, pushing harder. At that, grains begin to crack away from the ball, bits of salmon beginning to stick out from the bottom. Osamu swallows half of the contents in his mouth, his cheek jutting out like a hamster hoarding sunflower seeds. He watches your inexperienced hands, clawing at and tossing the rice to shape it, and he reaches over to rinse his hands over the sink.

"Just let me help you out."

Grains of jasmine rice stick to his wet palms that come around your hands, squeezing and pushing at a ball of rice that falls apart at each movement. The fuzz of his rolled up sweater sleeves rubs against your forearms as his fingers work their way onto yours. Starchy water trickles down the back of your hand when he forces them to loosen around the mess of grilled salmon and rice, and you sigh in defeat, letting him move you as he pleases.

"Look, I'm not sure why you dislike me so much."

"I don't."

He chuckles, pushing your hands into the rice now. You study the pressure he applies to the ball of rice, learn the shape of his fingers around yours, memorise the cup of his palms around the back of your own.

"Yes, you do. You always look at me like-"

You snap your head around to meet his eyes, and he's so close that for the first time, you have to angle your head to look up at him. He's not smirking anymore, moreso observing. You aren't sure what there is to observe on your face, but it's welcome nevertheless.

"Like what?"

He purses his lips, huffing out a dejected sigh.

"Like that."

He lets go of your hands, stepping backwards, and you hold the perfectly moulded onigiri up to eye level. The rice is glossy in a sheen of vinegar and water, yet pertains its fluffiness in the tack of starch against your fingers. The handiwork of a true chef.

"You're so good at this class that I can't even get annoyed at you openly. It's infuriating."

"What did I ever do to you?"

You laugh sarcastically, waving the newly formed onigiri in Osamu’s face, before taking a bite. He laughs, mouth forming a taunting oh when you smack your lips against each other the way that he does, the flakiness of salmon spreading char and salt across your tastebuds. Then, you place the onigiri aside, rubbing your hands up and down your pristine apron, before grabbing his waist to move him to the side so you can walk past, making sure bits of rice and fish stick to his apron. He chuckles, clapping tantalisingly slowly at your imitation of his habits. You give him a fake bow, and he drops his hands to his hips, shrugging.

"That's it?"

"Yeah, pretty much. Petty rivalry and kitchen hygiene."

"Mind you, I am very hygienic. My shop hasn't been shut down for a reason."

You watch Osamu's hands dig into the remaining portion of your rice, his tongue sticking out as he moulds and shapes it into another perfectly rounded triangle. You scoff at his defensiveness, arms crossed in front of you. He wraps a rectangle of seaweed across the centre of the rice ball, and holds it up to your face. It is swiped from his fingers by your own, and you stuff half of it into your mouth, chewing without a sound and swallowing the mouthful.

"You do not have a shop."

"Where'd you think I learned how to do all this?" His hands shoot out to wave at his perfect collection of hand-made onigiri, and you sigh, rolling your head to the side.

"Okay, sure. You have a shop. It's a surprise you can be this annoying and keep it running."

"Loosen up, I just wipe my hands on my apron and eat loud. It's not like I'm spitting in my food. Besides, being that uptight ends up with your onigiri coming out more like...that." His head nods towards the funky ones on your plate, bits of fish sticking from the crevices between individual grains of rice. You shrug in acceptance, taking another bite from his onigiri. Osamu clicks his tongue, grabbing your wrist to bring the rice ball to his mouth instead, consuming the final corner of the triangle in its entirety. He swallows it with a hum, his fingers still around your wrist. He's not letting go. Now, you're interested.

"Should I pay you a visit? Need to see for myself that you're running it to safety standards."

"Are you flirting with me? Because you should keep going."

You roll your eyes when you see him wink at you from above your hand, but an toothy grin creeps its way onto your face, and Osamu smiles at his tactics.

"Whatever you say, Miya." His last name finally makes it out of your mouth for the first time since the two of you have been put together for this course, and he drops your wrist.

"You know, I could teach you how to make those onigiris properly if you show up to Onigiri Miya. You'd be almost as good as me by the end of it."

You flick a grain of rice at him, and it sticks to his apron unceremoniously. He's even named the shop after his family name. How cute. Despicable.

"Don't try your luck, chef."

"Chef? High praise."

The supervising chef sounds a bell, harsh waves of high pitched ringing echoing throughout the room. And as Osamu scrubs at bowls and lathers soapy water onto plates, he watches you tap at your phone with clean hands. Your sink is already empty, the two bowls and one plate that you used in total sitting on the drying rack already. Your onigiris sit in a takeout container, lined up neatly in two rows. His own are still on their plate, and he reminds himself to grab a takeout box for himself. You look up to Osamu, and he looks back at his wet hands and soapy dishes.

"Found you online. I'll be checking your place out soon." You remark at him, and the corners of his mouth curl up into a grin.

"You sure you're not there to check me out instead?" You snicker at his blatant flirtations, and pretend that he's completely incorrect.

"Let's not get ahead of ourselves now, Miya."

You shove your phone back into your pocket, swipe an onigiri off his plate, and wave at him as you turn your back to leave.

Osamu watches your silhouette push open the door as he slots his dishes into the drying rack. He hopes that you'll become his favourite regular at Onigiri Miya.

author's note:

i just KNOW im gonna have so much fun writing for this event ngl i hope i get more so i can see what people come up with but I HOPE U LIKE THIS!!! rivalry is more like friendly banter here and lovers is more like he's into you and you're slowly getting into the grroove of it but hopefully you enjoyed it regardless my bbs<333 i'd frequent onigiri miya ngl i love onigiri sm also hell's kitchen needs to be the name of a band icl

anyways tags!!

@chuuya-brainrot @staraxiaa @wyrcan @4ngelfries @catsoupki @bailey-reeds @fiannee @kuroppiii @akaakeis @hiraethwa @zzwon

interested in joining a band? come on over to the build-a-band 900 !!

[thekeeperof-thefandoms]

How they react to finding out you're an animal lover

Based on the actual Zoo's worth of pets, I acquired.

Let's assume somehow there's a scenario where the Hazbin Characters are able to see your life on earth, to review what might have gotten you sent to Hell. As far as most of them were concerned, you may have been chaotic, maybe you jumped to violence quickly (it's Hell though so defending yourself is important), maybe you drank or used drugs or slept around, but not to an extent that would warrant Hell.

And it's not that you aren't capable of being friendly or nice, but you're always wary of new people. You seem uncomfortable in large groups and tend to stick to people you know and unfortunately have Resting Bitch Face, so aren't very approachable.

So imagine their reaction to seeing your life and noticing from a young age your obsession with animals. You watched Animal Cops instead of Cartoons as a kid (and boy, your little brain sure got creative when imagining how best to punish [torture] animal abusers. Even Alastor's impressed by the level of violence). You begged and cried for a pet your whole childhood and did your best with the fish you got or the guinea pigs, though poor misinformation from adults and lack of proper husbandry being available in easily accessible media meant that your setups were....lackluster. And boy did you literally sob over that as an adult.

Every animal you met, horse, snake, cat, dog, rabbit, rodent, lizzard, frog, fish, they were all met with the brightest smile, a gentle cooing voice, happy baby talk, you getting on their level to coddle and and pet. The total opposite of your response to people.

Alastor

He's never been a big fan of dogs, especially after his death. But watching you with the numerous dogs you owned, the bond you shared with them, how they weren't perfectly trained but you tried so hard, and they all lived such long happy lives, he thinks he would have tolerated it. Especially your first dog, a small yappy thing that was wonderfully trained to do many tricks using just hand signals. Watching you shut down, breaking into billions of pieces when that dog died is probably the closest his smile has come to dropping.

Cats though, Alastor adored cats and you, despite being allergic, took in every feline in need. Even ones with health issues. You shelled out your hard earned cash left and right and the once ratty, crusty, scrawny, timid, strays blossomed into sleek, healthy, playful cats. He's going to laugh at all the curse words that arise from the various shenanigans that come with owning cats though.

As for your snakes, he's not phased. He isn't particularly fond of them, but he isn't scared either. But he could listen to you gush for hours about genetics, morphs, breeding, and proper set ups. He liked your bearded dragon though. Would get one for you if he could.

His favorite though was your rats. The quartet of rodents that were as smart as human toddlers and as likely to get in trouble. Watching you build and construct cardboard play structures, teach them tricks, feed them all sorts of fruits, veggies, meat, grains, insects. The constant cleaning and remodeling of their cage to entertain them. Oh you clearly adored them. Especially since they lived longer than their average 4 year expectancy by a whole year, with the exception of one rat that had been born ill but he still lived to by nearly 3!

All in all he just thinks you're precious, is amused by your entirely sincere and intensely violent response to abusers, and admires your caring nature and dedication (it reminds him of his ma, working hard to shell out every penny to ensure he thrived). He's probably considering getting you a pet.

Charlie

Heart eyes! You're so soft and cuddly with your pets! So patient with them, even when they're still adjusting, scared and prone to biting. You take every bite, scratch, hiss, growl, and in cases like snakes and turtles musking, in stride. Sure you flinch but your tone stays calm, you relax quickly, adjust your approach.

The way your eyes water and light up when the black cat with a stiff limp and crusted eyes, and swollen cheeks finally approaches you instead of hiding behind the water heater in your basement after you managed to trap it in indoors melts her heart. The way you have to visibly control yourself when you pet it for the first time and then finally lift him into your arms to take upstairs where the heat works and you aren't relying on a space heater and old blankets to warm him.

She's not thrilled about your violent tendencies, but they also remind her of Vaggie. Your protective and have strong feelings about injustice and she admires that.

She's definitely asking you to watch Kiki more often.

Angel Dust

Another proud pet parent! He gets you. Animals are so much easier than people. He loves watching you dress your pets that would tolerate it and take them to get pictures done, sending them to family members like you would send pictures of your kids. And hey, they essentially are! He's gonna ask you to dress up Fat Nuggets with him and do a photo shoot!

He's not a fan of rodents, but you're rats, and the hamsters were cute. He thinks he'd be ok with them if he met them, may even enjoy them.

Really liked watching your fish tank though once you got older and had more understanding and were able to set up a proper one. Even when things went wrong like algae blooms, fish fighting, your $35 betta beaching itself on your crabs basking platform, you were determined, and eventually you get a nice little live planted tank going that's mostly self sufficient and some fish that breed. You never quite mastered the algae issue, but it never overran your tank again, so he considers it a win. It's just cute watching you try so hard and dedicate so much time too it.

Lucifer

You're literally his spirit animal. He would rather be around animals than people, too. And honestly, you're right, animal abusers are the worst and he's probably taking notes from you on fitting punishments. He is trying to be more active as a ruler of Hell now.

He thinks you're incredibly smart for learning and memorizing so much about animals at such a young age and that you learn more as you get older, keeping up with proper care techniques. Kinda shocked you didn't become a vet, but also gets it. He doesn’t think he could handle having to let an animal down either. Or deal with stupid owners.

Gets heart eyes when he sees your obsession with snakes and is genuinely sad for you when your small collection of them dies off. Reptiles are hard, even professional keepers can have snakes die for seemingly no reason, so it's not anything you did, but it still sucks that within a 16 months you lost both your corn snakes and then a 8 or 9 months later your ball python.

He's the Serpent of Eden so anytime you had a snake draped around her neck, coiled around your wrist or arm, anytime they slithered under your shirt or up your pant leg while holding them is giving him inappropriate ideas. If you're someone with sensory stim needs and you loved the feeling of snake scales on your skin he'll offer to be one for a while (he's gonna go in your shirt and probably just coil around your waist or your chest, maybe rest his head on your shoulder peeking out of your shirt, blepping).

He's also sad that you can't see your beloved pets now since you're in Hell and it makes him even more bitter towards Heaven. Your beloved pets deserved to be reunited with an owner who gave them everything they could and you deserved to see the furry little wonders that got you through your darkest times. He can't imagine how much pain you were in when you realized you wouldn't see them again.

Is determined to get you a pet and find a way to reunite you with yours.

Husk

Was never big on pets before, but he thinks yours are cute. He may let you pet his ears more often now and be more comfortable purring around you. If it helps you feel better since it's obvious you miss your little furballs.

The entire time they're watching your life play out your eyes are glued to your pets, eyes misty, and smile adoring. It's more of a highlights reel so you're constantly babbling over it telling story after story. You mention how pissed you were tattoos didn't show up when you died because you had every pet you ever owned's (with the exception of ones you had really young), pawprint tatted on you when you died, staring with the rat tail and feet at your ankle and the top of your foot all the way up your leg, hip, side, so many of them it looked like a zoo walked across your body.

He misses having that kind of enthusiasm and devotion to something and admires you for being able to so deeply love and care for your pets despite what you've been through.

He maybe feels a little inspired himself to open up a bit more.

Vox

He grew up when a wife, two kids, a dog, and a white pickett fence was a standard, but you go beyond that. Animal care has gotten so much more detailed since he was alive. Aside from his sharks, especially Vark, he doesn’t really know much about pets, though.

He loves your commitment to trying to keep a fish tank, but he is going to critique you. He probably will get you one and help you set it up, a nice, moderately sized 50 gallon. It's something you two can bond over.

Watching you step between two dogs about to get into a fight because their owners were drinking at the dog park and didn't pay attention nearly gives him a stroke though. But you effortlessly snag an 80 pound mutt and lift them up and pivot, using your arms and legs to corral that dog back towards the fence and keep yourself between them while someone else snags the other dog. Once both dogs can't see each other anymore and you have effectively redirected their attention to the treats you brought, using a stern, sharp voice to direct it to sit, the dogs settle. He can visibly see you seething as the guy gets up, uncaring, and leashes his dog to leave the park.

Also thinks it adorable when watches you pull over and dart across a highway to get a turtle out of the road. Or to get a baby bird out of the street once it's been pushed from the nest. Watches you circle back to watch dogs you see wandering the neighborhood to see if they're lost. You approaching gently and sweetly, not even remotely upset when they startle and you nearly get bit. You apologized to the dog for spooking it.

Really, he just thinks you're cute and have no self-preservation and doesn't think a dog or cat would do well in the tower, but lizzards and fish are ok, and you two bond over the fish tank.

Valentino

So if that whole thing about him getting one of the little insect dogs and then shooting it within a day thing is still canon, he's probably lowkey afraid for his life right now. There's just something about watching an year old version of you say you might wanna be an animal cop so you can shoot bad people with such a serious face. Listening to teenage you threaten two boys who had joked about pouring chemicals on a cat with jamming an anti-freeze bottle down their throats and water board them with it. Or offer to toss puppy mill breeders in a cage too small, no ac, no heat, no food, no water, naked and in their own filth while walk by them every day. He can't even repeat the threats you made against dog fighters or cock fighters. He's pretty sure Satan, prince of Wrath himself, is scared of you. How does a 13 year old come up with shit that twisted?! Like maybe you're in Hell for a reason you fucking psycho.

But! Assuming that's not true, I think Valentino wants to be a cat person. He thinks they're elegant and fashionable. But watching yours he realizes if you're lucky they're snuggly, mischievous, trouble makers who even without trying can and will fuck shit up. If you're not lucky, their terrorists that get into everything, bite you for attention then run off when you pet them, get hair everywhere, are literally so fucking messy, and somehow are both incredibly smart and incredibly stupid. Like smart enough to open doors and drawers and plastic treat containers, dumb enough to run into a window or jump in the dryer.

Honestly, he is shocked to learn that he's a snake/rodent kinda guy. Literally, the snakes are so pretty, have such smooth textures, and yeah, they can be derpy, but he thinks they're kinda hot. Like the image of you, the four-foot ball python draped around your neck and chest. Or some of your bigger five and six foot snakes. He likes the idea of maybe doing like a naked photo shoot with the snake wrapped around you. (HE AND LUCIFER SHOULD NOT SHARE KINKS BUT HERE WE ARE).

Personality wise, hyper, gets into things he shouldn't, bored easily, needs attention or gets depressed and stressed, too smart for his own good but too dumb to get himself out of trouble. This man is a rat/ferret. Whatever irony made him a moth demon is dumb. He would have adored the little fuckers. Maybe not by himself, he doesn’t have the time or attention span to dedicate to them alone, but with your help caring for them and playing with them, he'd be great.

In general I don't think Val is the kinda of person who would get a pet for himself or should have one, but if you're helping and it makes you happy he'll do it. He got Angel one after all.