#Maybe Pocket camp does have balloons

[killuaisaprincess]

WHY ARENT THERE ANY BALLOONS IN POCKET CAMP OMG I NEED KI TO HAVE A PINK BUNNY ONE

[sohotthateveryonedied]

Gender? In THIS Economy?

Read here on AO3!

Summary:

Duke is questioning stuff and goes to Tim for advice. (feat. trans!Tim and nonbinary!Duke)

“Here you go. One Batburger with extra pickles, extra onions, and extra extra mayonnaise.” Duke drops the paper takeout bag unceremoniously into Tim’s lap. “Your taste buds need a tune-up, bro.”

Tim unwraps his burger and takes a bite. Batburger may be questionable when it comes to copyright laws, but damn if they don’t pile on the condiments better than any fast food restaurant in Gotham. “Sounds to me like you simply haven’t reached the sky-scraping level of enlightenment that I have, grasshopper.”

“Enlightenment would have been going to Red Robin and using your uniform to get a discount,” Duke says. He sits beside Tim on the rooftop’s edge, their legs dangling side by side a hundred feet above Gotham’s plunging gray streets. He digs into his own burger and makes a face. “Enlightenment would also be getting the Robin Nuggets next time. This tastes like dried leather.”

“I like it,” Tim says with a shrug. “It has personality.”

“So does raw sewage, but you don’t see me eating that.”

Tim concedes the point. His communicator buzzes in his belt. He checks the screen and discovers an alert from Cass composed entirely of clown emojis and red harlequin diamonds.

Duke notices. “Should we get that?”

Tim pockets the communicator. “Nah, Spoiler’s got it. We have time to relax.” And he’s not about to pass up quality time with the one little brother who doesn’t hate him. It’s hard enough as it is for Tim and Duke to find the time, what with them being on opposite sleeping schedules and work snatching their attention away with grabby, toddler-sized hands.

“Don’t get a lot of that during the day shift,” Duke says. “Every time an alarm goes off, it’s my business.”

Tim knocks him in the side with his elbow. “That’s what you get for turning to the light side instead of kicking it in the shadows with us. More employees to go around.” He sips his soda for a moment. “Why did you come out tonight, anyway? I thought you stayed in on weeknights.”

“Right. I actually wanted to talk to you about something.” Duke says it carefully, like he’s testing the waters. “I need advice.”

Tim has to admit that his chest puffs out a little at that. It’s not often people come to him for advice when Dick and Barbara are right there, all full of adult wisdom that Tim is too pitifully shrimpy to possess. “What’s up?”

“It’s kind of...personal.”

“Yes, Bruce does have special powder for suit-chafing. It’s in the cabinet under the first-aid supplies.”

“It’s not that,” Duke says, though he snorts in half-hearted laughter. He looks down at his hands like he’s dreading the words lodged in his throat. “What was it like, realizing you were a dude?”

One of Tim’s eyebrows shoots up. “Oh.”

“You don’t have to tell me if you don’t want to. It’s an invasive question.”

“No, no, it’s fine. You just caught me off guard, is all.” It’s not like this is the first time someone has asked. Tim used to be uncomfortable talking about it, but he’s grown up since then. Talking about his trans journey is as normal as talking about what he did yesterday. He eats a fry. “What do you want to know?”

Duke searches Tim’s face for a sign that he’s lying, that he should back off. When he doesn’t find one, he asks, “How old were you when you figured it out?”

Tim thinks back. “Nine, I think? But even before that, it’s not like I ever really felt like a girl. I knew there was something wrong, but I didn’t know what. When I first heard about what being transgender meant, everything I’d been feeling until then clicked into place.”

“What was it like?” Duke asks, “growing up the way you did? Presenting as a girl when you knew you weren’t?”

Tim shrugs. “I don’t know. It was life at the time. I dealt with it.”

“Was it hard? Pretending to be something you weren’t?”

Tim doesn’t know what answer Duke is looking for, or why he’s so interested, but he won’t ask. “My parents always had this idea of me being the perfect daughter, all obedient and graceful and crap. I’m pretty sure their hope was to eventually marry me off to the highest bidder so they could reap the business benefits.”

“That sounds awful.”

Tim shrugs again. “I didn’t start feeling any different than I should have until around six or seven. I was always a tomboy. I liked doing boy stuff and playing sports, but my parents thought it was a phase I would grow out of. They’d make me wear dresses and go to fancy parties with them, all the while I just wanted to claw my skin off and go home.”

He remembers the nights he would lie awake in bed, imagining what it must be like to have been born someone else. Anyone else. To grow up as a little boy who was allowed to run around, to get dirty, to be himself instead of following some arbitrary guidelines someone else drew up the day he was born. He imagined what it would feel like to answer to a different name than the one he’d been given, which grated on his ears the longer time went on, like an itchy sweater he couldn’t shed. It was hell.

He gives Duke a sly grin. “But the upside of having absent parents is that there aren’t as many people watching you. No one cared if I went to school in the boy’s uniform instead of the girl’s. No one was there to stop me from cutting my hair short the way I wanted it.”

Duke's eyes widen. “You cut your own hair?”

“It went exactly the way you’re thinking. I had to go to the barber the next day and have them fix it because it was so uneven. But by the end of the day, it was the way I always imagined it. I was finally starting to look like the person I wanted to be.”

Duke stares intently at the remains of his burger as if the universe’s answers to an unspoken question were written in sesame seeds. “Did it get better after that? Did you feel...at peace?”

“‘Course not. The world wasn’t magically fixed just because I took a step in the right direction. My problems didn’t go away.” When he says that, Duke looks almost...disappointed? “But,” Tim adds, “it was better than it was before. I still had to act for my parents and the rest of the world, but I didn’t have to hide from myself anymore.”

“How did your parents react when they found out?”

Tim grimaces. “They...didn’t take it well.” He can still hear his father’s voice in his memories, bringing up therapy and camps and whatever places he could think of that would “fix” his little girl.

“But, after a while,” Tim continues, “it was clear that I wasn’t going to change my mind anytime soon. I guess they figured it would be easier to go along with it than fight me every step of the way. They still didn’t like it, but they tolerated it.”

Duke is quiet.

“Why do you ask?” Tim prods.

Duke’s expression doesn’t give anything away. It’s nights like this when Tim can see how perfectly Duke fits into this mental institution they call a family. For all that Duke thrives in the light, he keeps his cards just as close to his chest as the rest of them. He gives Tim a half-smile. “Just wondering.”

“Okay.”

They fall into weighted silence, the scales tipping on either side of their post, but never settling. Tim waits. He finishes his burger and busies himself with reorganizing the pouches in his belt, giving Duke the privacy to think.

“I don’t know,” Duke starts after several minutes, “if I’m a boy.” He looks at Tim. “I think I might be something else.”

“Okay,” Tim says calmly. “What do you feel like?”

“I’m not sure. I’ve always felt different, y’know? When I was a kid, it was because I was smarter than everyone in my class. And it was fine, because I knew what it was and how it worked and why it was a good thing, being the smart one. It made sense. Time went on, the other kids started catching up, but that mismatched feeling never went away. I never felt right in my skin.”

Duke’s face rises to the dark clouds, the Batsignal shining from the top of the police station like a holy beacon. “Then I met Batman. My powers started to come in and everything clicked into place, all at once. That was why I never felt like I fit in with everyone else, because I was different. I had powers. That must have been it.”

“But it wasn’t,” Tim guesses.

Duke shakes his head. “I thought it would be. I mean, what else could it have been, you know? It should have explained why I never felt at home in my identity. But time goes on, I learn how to use my powers, and it fixes some of it, but not everything. There’s still part of me that looks in the mirror and sees something off. Some detail out of place.”

“Do you feel like a girl?” Tim ventures to ask.

Duke folds over the corner of his straw wrapper again and again in tiny triangles. “Nah, I doubt it. I like some feminine things, but I don’t think I’m a girl. Or a guy. I think...I might be nonbinary?”

Tim does his best to channel Bruce’s “supportive dad” energy and smiles. “Okay. What pronouns do you want to use?”

“They/them, maybe? For a while?”

“Duly noted.” He puts a hand on Duke’s shoulder. “I really do appreciate you telling me.”

Duke rubs the back of their neck, their cheeks flushing. “It feels good to say out loud. Not just in my head.”

“Do you think you’re going to tell anyone else? You don’t have to if you’re not ready, but our whole family will support you.”

“Yeah.” Duke picks at their nails, nodding absently. “I know they will. I’m not worried about that.”

“Then what are you worried about?”

Duke takes a deep breath in, and Tim is reminded of a balloon close to bursting. “My parents aren’t dead. I’m going to get them back. And when I do...what are they going to think when they wake up after half a decade and find out that their son isn’t their son anymore? What if they don’t like the person they see?”

Tim can’t say that he hadn’t swum with the same thoughts years ago, back when the person who is Tim Drake was still on the drawing board. But there’s a difference between his situation and Duke’s. “Your parents love you, Duke. They’re not going to stop loving you just because you’ve grown up since they last saw you.”

“What if it’s too much? The superpowers and the crime-fighting and the new gender...it’s a lot to take in.”

“Well, sure,” Tim says. “It might take some time for them to get used to it, but this is who you are. They’re going to love it just as much as they love the rest of you.”

Duke smiles, and if their eyes are a little misty, Tim pretends not to notice.

“Besides,” he says. “If I were you, I’d just lead with the superpowers thing. Anything after that sounds perfectly acceptable.”

[crystaljins]

River lead me home | 08

Characters: Kim Seokjin x reader

Word count: 8.5k

Synopsis:  Ever since coming to the human realm when you were child, nothing seems to fit, and this was just supposed to be a simple roadtrip to help you find yourself.

Is that too much to ask for?

Spin-off to A long journey home

Rating: Teens

Genre: Adventure, fluff, angst

Notes: WOw. Second last chapter! Who knew we’d get this far....  I said last chapter was the emotional climax and now I’m looking at the word count of this chapter and I’m a bit like... wow... ok... you had a lot to say, didn’t you?

Anyway, please enjoy!!

Tags: @blue1928​ @veeparkersstuff 

Masterlist

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 FINAL

The three of you decide to make camp in the ravine that night with only minor hiccups. The Psittanurans had kindly provided you with two extra bedrolls, both far more comfortable than your own, and since the three of you hadn’t anticipated the addition of a third human-sized traveller, you had foolishly left your old bedroll behind in favour of travelling lighter. Of course, Jungkook, used to the comfort of sleeping curled up in your pocket, refuses to sleep without a bedroll. You cheerfully offer to just sleep on the soft, slightly damp sand that comprises the riverbank, but you’re quickly met with protests from both of your male companions. 

“Just share with me.” Jin mutters, only slightly grumbly. The two of you had shared the single bedroll multiple times throughout this journey, and he doesn’t enjoy the idea of you attempting to rest uncomfortably with the state you’re in. Particularly because you’re only in that state because of him. 

You’re about to nod your agreement when you are yanked back several steps into Jungkook’s torso. He throws a heavy arm across your shoulders and grins at Jin in a way that lets Jin know that Jungkook is fishing for a reaction. 

“Oh no, no, no, loverboy.” Jungkook scolds. “We can’t have you taking advantage of our dear, naive (Y/N). She can share with me!”

You yank at his forearm more out of annoyance than an attempt to dislodge his arm. 

“It’s not taking advantage.” Jin grits out between clenched teeth. He’s not even sure why Jungkook’s insinuation irritates him so much, but it does. And with the way Jungkook’s grin widens, Jin realises it was the exact reaction Jungkook was hoping for. 

“If you insist.” Jungkook gives in. But then his expression turns faux-innocent. He drops his gaze to the top of your head and you tilt your chin back so you can gaze back up at him. “I can only assume that means that (Y/N) wants to share with you as much as you do with her and well, no judgement but I-“ 

“I’ll share with you!” You cut in, and Jin doesn’t need good lighting to know your cheeks are aflame. 

Jin’s jaw drops. Jungkook just completely played the two of you. And he knows it- he shoots Jin a smug look as you clamber into the luxurious Psittanuran bedroll alongside him. 

Jin is utterly floored by the red-hot flash of irritation he feels at the sight. He glares for a moment longer, as if it will change the outcome of the situation, but when it becomes clear that it won’t, he sighs and resigns himself to attempting to sleep for the night. It doesn’t take long for you and Jungkook to settle into a slow, steady rhythm of breathing that tells Jin you are both asleep. 

Unsurprisingly, sleep doesn’t come easily to him that night. It’s not even that you’re lying a metre away wrapped in Jungkook’s annoyingly bulky arms, something Jin didn’t even know was irritating until now. No, what keeps him awake is the way his mind absolutely refuses to stop replaying the way you had looked at him when the arrow had hit you. 

It was easy, in the adrenaline rush that had pushed him through the events of today, to ignore any pesky emotions. He didn’t have time to process or understand his emotions in the onslaught of disasters. But now he has nothing but time as the night slowly passes and he’s lost. He’s so, so lost.

It’s been a common topic on this journey- how you make him feel. Initially the answer was easy. You’re annoying and pesky, like an untrained Labrador puppy, but you’re also family, like an untrained Labrador puppy. Someone he cares for greatly, but is also annoyed by beyond belief. 

But for some reason, the longer this trip has gone on, the harder the answer has become. Does he still care for you? Absolutely. Do you still annoy him? Beyond belief. So if that hasn’t changed, why does that answer feel so incomplete? 

He sits up with a groan, realising he’s not going to get any sleep any time soon. The shore of the riverbank is cold and damp and the sand gives way beneath his bare feet. On the edge of the river like this, he can gaze straight upwards and glimpse the jagged strip of starlight visible between the imposing walls of the ravine. The stars in this realm really are something else- bright, sparkling pinpricks on an indigo canvas, high overhead. So much brighter and more intense than the muted, dusky black of the sky in the human realm. When he’d first moved, he’d actually missed the brilliant glow of the stars above, and he’d bought little glow in the dark stickers to attach to his ceiling. It had been during the time where you used spend a lot of time with him and his parents because your mother was working a late shift. He’d come home, overjoyed at the little stickers he brandished, and then he’d noticed the way you’d eyed them. You’ve never been very good at voicing your thoughts- every admission of yours has to be coaxed out of you. But he’d known straight away that you wanted the stars. He hadn’t hesitated, that night, to grab a ladder and spend the evening attaching the stars to your bedroom ceiling in a pathetic imitation of the constellations of Magregnum. 

The young teenager who had cheerfully attached glow-in-the-dark stickers to the ceiling of his friend’s room seems so distant and far away now. So much has happened since then- so much has gone wrong and so much has gone right. Briefly, he wonders if you’d liked him back then as well. Maybe he’d mistaken the longing glow in your eyes as being for the stickers when it had actually been for him. Jungkook had made fun of him for never noticing your feelings until now, but it’s not like anything has ever changed between the two of you. You’ve always gazed at him like he’s someone amazing and special. He’s always given up everything for you without a moment’s hesitation. If anything, the only difference between then and now is that you keep drifting further and further away no matter what efforts he does or doesn’t make. What can he do? How can he solve the problem of you slipping through his fingers like water?

“Can’t sleep?” A voice sounds, and to Jin’s credit, he doesn’t scream. He does start so violently that he nearly tumbles forward into the water lapping at his feet, though. 

Jungkook settles beside him, hugging his knees to his chest and gazing up at the stars above. 

“Something like that.” Jin manages, when his heart rate finally settles back into something that is conducive to life. Jungkook snorts and folds his arms across his knees, resting his cheek on his folded arms so he can peer sleepily at Jin. 

“I can’t either.” Jungkook admits. “The bedding isn’t as comfortable as I thought it’d be.” Jin glances at Jungkook, arching an eyebrow at him. 

“Not as fun sharing as you thought?” Jin questions, unable to keep the slight sneer from his voice. Jungkook grins, a flash of white in the darkness. 

“On the contrary, I’m very comfortable.” He asserts, and something about the way Jungkook says it has Jin bristling in irritation. He’s about to snap a retort, when Jungkook drops the cheeky front he has on, quite rapidly. Like a balloon deflating. “It’s just... I thought that as a human, everything would seem smaller. Less big and threatening. Everything was huge to me as a pixie. But for some reason...” he trails away before swallowing.  It’s the most vulnerable Jin has ever seen him- he actually looks like a young boy, lost and afraid. “Instead everything seems bigger.”

Jin is silent for a moment, mostly shocked by this side of Jungkook. He should know better than to be surprised that Jungkook is more than a pesky troublemaker, after all the revelations of this journey. There’s always more to Jungkook. 

The thought makes him smile for whatever reason. Jungkook, fearless, pesky Jungkook, is afraid of the future. Who’d have thought it? In response to the sudden fond feeling in his chest, Jin reaches out a hand to affectionately ruffle Jungkook’s hair. 

Jungkook makes a noise of protest, pushing Jin’s hair away. 

“Hey!” He cries. “I open up to you and this is how you treat me?”

“I can’t help it.” Jin teases. “You’re surprisingly cute.”

Jungkook huffs for a moment, clearly outraged at the sentiment, before the fight slowly drains out of him. 

“I’m serious.” He mutters. Jin shakes his head and mirror’s Jungkook’s pose, hugging his knees in close to his chest. 

“That’s how everyone feels.” He informs the former pixie. “The world is surprisingly big and huge, and life can sometimes feel like a puddle and sometimes like an ocean. Welcome to being a human.” 

Jungkook is silent for a moment, contemplating what Jin is saying. 

“I... never imagined this would happen. There are all these things I wanted to do, if I were human, but I never thought I’d actually get to do them. And now, I finally have everything I wanted, right at my fingertips and I’m... I’m scared.” Jungkook confesses. 

“I get that.” Jin offers in sympathy. “I was scared when we first came to the human realm too. And then I was scared when I first got into med school. And I was scared when I first got to this realm again. The things we don’t know are scary.” He confesses. “But hey. Sometimes the best things to happen to us are the scariest things to start. Look at you- if you’d never overcome your fear of granting the wish, you’d never have become human, right?”

That silences Jungkook for so long that Jin begins to think he’s fallen asleep. But when he glances at Jungkook, he’s wide awake. The stars overhead reflect in his round eyes as he gazes thoughtfully upwards. 

“The best things... are the scariest things to start.” Jungkook echoes at last. He frowns and squints at Jin. “I think you’re a hypocrite.” He accuses suddenly. For a moment, Jin merely smiles stupidly, not fully comprehending the sudden turnaround. But gradually Jungkook’s words register and his jaw drops. 

“I’m sorry?” Jin answers in offence. Jungkook stares evenly back at Jin and even tilts his chin defiantly upwards. 

“You heard me. You talk all big and wise like that, and yet you’re too scared to start the most important thing to you.” He reminds Jin. “Why else are you sitting out here, glaring at the sky instead of sleeping?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Jin mutters, digging his fingers into the sand. It’s kind of satisfying, the way it gives way and crumbles beneath his palm. 

“I’m talking about her.” Jungkook says, jerking a thumb over his shoulder to where you are currently snoozing peacefully. “And how you’re in love with her but you’re too scared to tell her.”

The words seem oddly loud and booming around Jin. For a second, he can’t seem to form words- like his tongue has frozen to the roof of his mouth. 

“I...” he tries, but he doesn’t really have any follow up. “I...” he tries again. The air suddenly feels warm and his shirt feels uncomfortably tight around his throat. 

“Ok, wow.” Jungkook says, releasing a low whistle for good measure. “So, you’re still doing the whole “in denial” thing? Really? Even after that whole desperate “what would I be supposed to do?” anguished kdrama lead monologue you had in that burrow?” Jungkook tsk’s and shakes his head and Jin feels his face flush with heat when he realises Jungkook had been eavesdropping on that particular conversation. “Girl takes an arrow for you and you’re still gonna deny you love her? Dang.”

Jin swallows past the dryness in his throat. But Jungkook cuts him off before he can offer any words. 

“Save your denial for someone who might believe you. I’m not even going to force you to say it out loud because it sounds like (Y/N) is going to have to do something more impressive than taking an arrow for you and jumping into a ravine with you to finally admit it out loud. I’m just going to say that I get it. I didn’t before, but now I do.” He offers Jin a weak smile. “The things we don’t know are scary. And starting anything with her is probably terrifying given all your history. But maybe when you start to believe the whole “the best things are the scariest things to start” spiel, then I’ll follow your lead. But for now, I’m cold and tired.” 

He gets to his feet and dusts sand off the back of his trousers, before padding over to where you’re fast asleep. 

Jin is rarely speechless. He prides himself on often having lots to say- to some of his friends he’s famous for the speed at which he can spit out words. He’s even heard you refer to them as “jants” when you think he isn’t listening. 

But he’s speechless now. Jungkook’s good at that- taking impossible, scary, confusing feelings and making them seem so simple that Jin feels like a fool. 

The best things in life are the scariest to start.

The words echo in his head as Jin comes to a realisation, in that moment. Why he’s been feeling so lost... why every moment with you feels like sand slipping through an hourglass...

It’s because he’s absolutely terrified. Terrified of what you mean to him, of the risks he would have to take to keep you in his life... and terrified of the cost if he doesn’t take those risks. 

But at the same time... the best things in life are the scariest to start. And Jin is more scared than he’s ever been. 

This time when he settles into sleep, the soft, steady sound of your breathing and the gentle lap of the river against the sandy banks is enough to lull his stormy mind into a surprisingly restful sleep.

++

When you awaken the next morning, it isn’t hard to tell that there is something bothering your two travel companions. There’s a multitude of things that could be the reason behind their stormy moods. The three of you are still trapped in a ravine together. There is still the long journey back home. The Saishtas likely think you are dead, but they still linger out there and if you aren’t careful, you could expose your presence to them. So, you don’t blame them for being quiet and a little standoffish, but you wish you knew the exact reason for it. After all, you had kind of expected a more festive atmosphere after Jungkook became human. You certainly feel lighter and more joyous- why do your companions not mirror the sentiment?

“Is everything ok?” You finally ask Jin as he assists you with packing up the bedrolls. He looks at you, a little startled like he has been lost in thought. 

“Yeah.” He says, just a beat too quickly. “Everything’s... fine.”

Funnily enough, you aren’t convinced. But you decide you won’t push your luck. After all, there’s a long walk back to the portal, if you can even escape this ravine. They’ll come to you when they’re ready. There’s lots for you to sort through yourself, anyway. You still have to work things out with your mother, and you’re still unemployed, and now you know you’re in love with Jin as an added bonus. If they’re feeling even a quarter of the nerves you are, then it’s no wonder that they’re subdued. 

It takes most of the morning to find a path out of the ravine. Jungkook is confident there is definitely one, but he’s just unaware of where. When he had been born here, he had just flown up and out. But since guardians used to come in and out for these journeys, there must be something. 

It’s Jin who finds it, albeit accidentally. He’s lost in a haze, thinking deeply about whatever it is that’s bothering him, and the sand crumbles beneath his feet. He cries out, grabbing your and Jungkook’s attention from where you had been scrutinising the various carvings from past guardians. 

It all happens so quickly- Jin flails, stumbling a few steps. He reaches out, grabbing onto the side of the ravine to stabilise himself. 

But he just keeps going. He crumples into the wall. And it folds around him. And just like that, he’s gone from view. 

It takes a moment of you and Jungkook staring stupidly at each other before you both realise what has happened. Crying out in horror, you stumble over to the section of cliff where he vanished. You reach out your hand to press against the wall and find that rather than firm rock, it has an unusual spongy texture that gives way. 

You wave Jungkook over, who mirrors your action and digs his hand into the wall. It seems to suck his arm in slightly, and you both nod at each other before pressing your way through the odd, spongey section of rock wall. It spreads around you and clings like quicksand. For a moment you feel a flash of fear, but then the rock springs away from you like an elastic snapping back into place and you and Jungkook are standing in a darkened, open cavern. You can still make out the darkened path, but you doubt a human would be able to make out a thing. 

“Ow!” You hear a voice cry when something warm but firm catches your leg and you lurch forward, landing flat on the cavern ground. Whipping your gaze over your shoulder, you find Jin sprawled across the ground. 

“Well...” Jungkook observes, gazing around the tunnel. His new, human body did not have the enhanced abilities that you and Jin do (as they had arm wrestled the night before to check) and so likely he is completely blind in this tunnel. “I’m just going to assume this is the way out. Are you gonna get a torch out, (Y/N) or are we going to hold hands the whole time?”

“She’s getting the torch out!” Jin snaps, scrambling over to you and snatching the bag off your uninjured shoulder before you can do anything. 

He plunges his arm all the way in and pulls out the familiar yellow torch. It lights up the tunnel, highlighting the long, winding route ahead of you. 

And then the light stutters and blinks out, leaving you in the once more in darkness. Jin whacks the bottom of the torch a few more times and plays with the switch, but no light returns. The three of you remain silent for a moment, perhaps a shared moment of memory for your torch, who had fought long and hard for you on this journey. And then Jungkook breaks it. 

“Well, hope your hands aren’t sweaty.” He sighs, and his fingers barely brush yours before he’s yanked away with surprising force. 

“I have better eyesight.” Jin explains, perhaps a little too sweetly. It’s in contrast with the way he squeezes Jungkook’s hand perhaps a bit too tightly. “I’ll make sure you don’t fall over, Jungkook.”

Jungkook whines in protest. 

“You’re hurting me!” He complains. 

Jin doesn’t dignify him with a response, and instead sets a rapid pace forward, strolling confidently through the cavern despite the meagre lighting. 

It doesn’t take long for the sombre mood that had plagued them that morning to return. This time, you’re a little less willing to let it slide- Jin has proven himself prone to these strange, moody fits on this journey and you know he’s eventually forced to admit what’s bothering him, but for Jungkook to be just as quiet has you stressing. What’s wrong? Why are they like this? You’d gone to bed joyous and content and had awoken ready to face the world and the multitude of challenges ahead. But for some reason, Jin and Jungkook don’t share in your eagerness, and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t hurt a little. 

It’s not like you expected things to be easy, or simple after reaching the river. You hadn’t even known that message from your dad existed prior to this, so it’s not like everything would just click into place and you’d ride off into the sunset. It’s just... you’d thought you were all on the same page, after everything. You and Jin had plummeted off a bridge together, for goodness’ sake! And it’s stupid, but the way he’d held you, cradled your head protectively as you fell, you’d thought...

Well, you hadn’t thought he was in love with you, or anything. You’d just thought it was something, at least. Yet here you are- for every step forward you take with Jin, there seems to be another three steps you take backwards. And now Jungkook is joining in on the whole brooding-confusing act too. 

You haven’t even realised you’ve stopped walking until Jin stops to look at you over his shoulder. Jungkook, still completely blind in the dark tunnel, stops when Jin tugs on his hand. 

“What’s wrong?” Jin questions, gently. As if he hasn’t been ignoring you all morning. 

“That’s what I want to ask you.” You’re surprised at the soft, tentative way the words come out. They echo slightly in the cabin, and there’s a clear, confused waver in your voice. “What’s going on? Why are you...” you trail away, searching for the words, but you come up empty. “Like this?” is what you finally settle on. “Why aren’t you telling me what’s the matter? Why the silence and the brooding? Haven’t we had enough of that?”

Even though your eyesight is better than Jungkook’s, it’s still difficult to make out Jin’s silhouette. It’s impossible to make out his expression, which makes the tense silence that follows all the more nerve-wracking.

“There’s nothing wrong.” Jin finally says. “It’s just something stupid.”

His words aren’t meant to be hurtful. He’s trying to be dismissive so that you don’t worry. You know this, and understand his reasoning perfectly, but it still feels like a slap in the face after everything the two of you have been together. You’re so sick of this endless, perpetual cycle. If it’s not him, it’s you- someone is always holding back, too afraid to say the truth. To crush the fragile eggshells that you’re tip-toeing on. 

“Friends are supposed to share the stupid things.” You say softly. You can’t see his expression, but you watch the way his shoulders stiffen. “Did you know that Jungkook’s biggest fear is the washing machine? He’s afraid he’ll be asleep in one of my pockets and my mum will throw my clothes for the wash.” 

“That was private information-“ Jungkook protests, but you cut him off. 

“I know that sort of thing about him.” You tell Jin. “Because Jungkook and I are friends.  When I went through that phase where I wanted to be a warrior and started enrolling in all those different self-defence class, I told Jungkook. It was a stupid phase, but I still told him. Do you know why? Because I trusted him. Yeah, we make fun of each other, and we fight, and we call each other names, but I still tell him everything because that’s what friendship is. It’s trusting each other to stick it out through the ugly.” You don’t know where all this is coming from. All you know is this- you just trusted Jin enough to follow him over the edge of a bridge, but he doesn’t reciprocate. And that’s been the problem from the start. It’s always been uneven between you. You shared all your ugly, all your insecurities. You went to him when things were hard. But he hid it- he masked his insecurities and he held back the things he wanted to say and now the two of you are here. Two strangers in a dark cave.

“I trust you-“ Jin protests but the words are empty and ugly. 

“You don’t.” You finally say. “And I can-” you voice cracks, so you clear your throat and try again. “I can try until I’m blue in the face to be the sort of person who never needs you and never makes you worry and it still won’t fix whatever this is between us because the truth is, you don’t want me.”

Your words hang in the darkness between the three of you. You’re pretty sure Jungkook is even holding his breath. 

“You don’t want me, Jin.” You say again. “You just feel like you’re obligated to be with me. And I... I don’t want that. I don’t want you doing anything out of obligation for me. Not anymore.”

Despite the fact that your throat feels raw and painful after your tirade, you feel oddly lighter. You take a deep breath and move to push past Jin, but a hand shoots out and grabs your wrist. 

“That’s not true.” Jin protests, and his voice wobbles. “Don’t... You’re not an obligation.” He asserts. 

And you want to believe him. You do. But you just can’t. You’ve had a whole trip- no, a whole friendship of him treating you like the most inconvenient creature in existence.

“I sure feel like one.” You say softly, and Jin’s grip on you goes lax enough that you’re able to start walking forward. “It’s fine. Let’s just get out of here already. The sooner we get back home, the sooner I’ll be out of your hair.”

The sun stings your eyes when you finally reach the end of the tunnel- a similar spongey wall conceals the exit. You tell yourself it’s the sudden influx of light that causes your eyes seem to water as you enter the last phase of your long journey. 

++

Jin has an ugly, gurgly sensation in his chest. It’s close to guilt, but worse- darker, and more painful. He watches your back from where you walk, maybe ten metres in front of him. Jungkook walks close to you, clearly mumbling something. But since it’s Jungkook, it’s just as likely that he is comforting you as it is that he’s pointing at random lumps of dirt and noting the resemblance to your face. 

You haven’t spoken a word to him since stepping out of the tunnel. The exit had brought the three of you out at the northern edge of the Golden Plains- a direct walk east through the forest would bring you to a village where you could stock up on supplies for the journey home since the Psittanurans hadn’t given you enough for three human-sized beings, and buy a third bedroll for Jungkook. 

It’s an easy fix, really. All Jin has to do is apologise. Assert that you are not an obligation to him and that he does trust you. But every time he plucks up the courage to cross the few metres you walk ahead of him, something stops him. Because, if he tells you that, that you’re not an obligation, then that begs the question: what are you? As much as he loathes to admit it, he’s beginning to see the truth in Jungkook’s words; he’s a hypocrite. A cowardly, pathetic hypocrite who isn’t even brave enough to admit to himself what he’s feeling. 

An unholy screech interrupts his commiserating and he has just enough time to think here we go again to himself before he is greeted by the sight of a terrified Jungkook held bridal style in your arms. You look equally shocked, as if you hadn’t expected Jungkook to leap into your arms like that. Jin rushes forward, ready to offer aid should disaster come but he cannot locate any immediate threats.

It is only once Jungkook stops screeching and cowering in your arms like a distressed puppy that Jin is able to see what has him so terrified- a small group of mice, standing up on their hindlimbs and wielding tiny little swords. 

It takes a few incredulous blinks and a good rub of his eyes to convince himself that the scene before him is real and not something’s he’s hallucinating after watching too much Ratatouille. 

The little grey mouse, whose tiny nose twitches in fear as he edges forward, is the first to speak. 

“You are guardians, are you not?” The little mouse demands. You and Jin exchange a concerned glance across Jungkook’s hulking figure. It’s the first time you’ve acknowledged him for hours. 

“Not!” Jungkook squeaks, still terrified. You, to your credit, have not dropped him, but you are starting to look impatient with having to carry him. “Just leave us in peace!”

“Jungkook!” You snap. “You could literally squash them with your boots please stop being ridiculous.”

“You know I have a phobia! They always bully me back home!” Jungkook grumbles, but reluctantly drops from your arms onto the ground. Only for one of the mice to brandish its sword. Jungkook screams and leaps onto Jin’s back. 

With a resigned sigh, Jin doesn’t even bother to throw Jungkook off. He just lets him hang there, like a terrified koala. 

“You fit the legends! Hulking beasts with terrifying aura!” A little soft brown mouse declares, though the tip of its sword shakes as it squeaks. “Giants who offer aid to all who demand it of them!” 

Jin closes his eyes and inhales deeply, willing himself to be calm. 

“I think you have the wrong-“ Jin begins, ready to brush aside the little troupe of mice and continue with the seven day hike home, but the smallest mouse, a little grey and white one with a soft pink nose, stumbles forward. 

“Please!” It begs. “You are our last hope! You must help us! Forgive us if we startled you- we have been following you since you came to this realm and we are running out of time.”

This gives Jin pause. He’s not sure why- it’s not like he knows how to read the expressions on their tiny faces but something about the desperation in the little mouse’s words makes him unable to leave them.

“Our people are suffering from a plague.” It admits. “And there is only one cure for the illness.”

“A good mousetrap?” Jungkook suggests from over Jin’s shoulder. Jin glares at him just to make sure he knows the comment is unwelcome. 

The little grey and white mouse ignores Jungkook and focuses its attention on Jin. 

“The starshine fungus.” It explains. “It grows in abundance on the riverbanks just on the other side of this forest. But few of our people are well enough to gather and transport it back home. We need as many as we can gather, and yet we were the only ones healthy enough to make the journey. But the demand for it far outweighs the ability of just the four of us to transport it alone. We are too small, and too weak.” 

Jungkook has gone eerily quiet at those last words- even his breathing has seemed to cease. That almost never bodes well.

“I’m really sorry, but we-“ you begin, on the verge of rejecting them. 

“We’ll help.” Jungkook says, cutting you off. He pushes his way off Jin’s back and drops back onto the ground. He crouches before the four little mice and smiles. The expression on his face is almost gentle. “You guys don’t know what it’s like, to be small and helpless. We can’t leave a whole colony to die just because Jin wants to make it back in time for his dinner date with that cool engineer guy.” He says to Jin and you. Jin bites his lip, and you look momentarily guilty. But then your expression clears, and you nod your head. Jungkook’s expression brightens and he shifts his gaze to Jin, clearly waiting for approval. 

With a sigh, Jin offers a nod. Why did he become a doctor if he’s just going to let an entire village die? As much as he loathes to admit it, Jungkook is right. 

“So, you’ll help?” The grey and white mouse asks. Jungkook nods. 

“Show us the way and we’ll carry the fungus back for you.” Jungkook promises. 

On cue, all four of the mice bow deeply. 

“You have our deepest gratitude.” The largest mouse, the grey one that had spoken first, says. 

Jin swallows deeply. He has no interest on yet another detour on this ridiculous journey. He just wants to go home. At home, he can fix his Apple watch. He can have dinner with Joon. Maybe, in the safety of home and what he knows, he can even work things out with you, and himself. Here, in this realm, there is nothing but danger and the choked knot around his heart that he can’t seem to untangle in your presence. 

Still, it’s a pleasant walk. You let the little mice perch on your shoulders since Jungkook hasn’t fully shaken off his fear of them. They direct the three of you on a march southwest, towards the seaside. It takes nearly the whole day to get there. The lazy afternoon is warm but not sweltering although the air is heavy with the promise of rain later on. 

You all reach the river before the rain comes. The forest opens up into a wide river. Northwards, the river extends towards impressive cliffsides where the fabled dragon kingdom is said to be, and southwards it rushes out to meet the sea on the southern coastline. Here, though, it is a lazy flow. Dragonflies dance on the banks and the river reflects the silvery clouds back up into the sky. 

“They grow along the banks.” The oldest of the mice, the soft brown one, explains. Her name is Phrosia, and she has lost all her children to the plague. She has no family and the only thing keeping her going is the thought that she can’t let anyone else face what she had. She points at where the bank meets the river edge. Small plants and reeds grow along the edges. “They are bright blue and quite large. They’ll grow just inside the water. They should be easy to spot.” 

“Well,” Jungkook says, sighing as he sheds his jacket. “Let’s get looking.” He rolls up the edges of his jeans and sheds his shoes and socks before wading into the mouth of the river and sifting through the grassy tufts on the banks. 

Jin meets your gaze, which is a surprise because he didn’t realise you were looking at him. He offers you a tentative, awkward smile which has you looking away quickly. The action has that ugly, gurgly sensation from earlier returning. He sighs to himself before rolling up his sleeves and following Jungkook’s lead, wading into the river. 

Sure enough, as the afternoon settles into a thick, muggy heat that signifies an oncoming storm, Jin begins to spot patches of bright blue amongst the reeds that line the riverbank. It’s mindless work- sort of soothing against his stormy mind. At least while he’s focused on adding to his growing pile of fungus, he’s not thinking about you, a few metres away, and the weird ache in his chest. 

He’s so engrossed in his task that when he feels the delicate tap on his shoulder, he nearly has a heart attack. The handful of mushrooms in his hand goes flying, catching the current and zooming away. He stares in horror at his lost fungus, before turning to the perpetrator. 

He’s expecting Jungkook to be standing there, looking smug from a prank well done, so when he sees you before him, looking uncomfortable and strangely guilty, he’s reduced to staring dumbly. The silence draws out for an uncomfortably long moment before you clear your throat awkwardly. 

“Can... can we talk?” You ask hesitantly. “Jungkook offered to keep looking for more.” You gesture down the river to where Jungkook and the mice are working together- He plucks a mushroom and they carry it over to his pile for him. 

Jin feels a nervous and uncomfortable sensation clog the back of his throat, but he nods nonetheless. You smile weakly and lead him away from the riverbank and back past the tree line. When you’re out of earshot but still within sight of Jungkook, you stop and turn. 

This is it- the moment Jin had been waiting for. A chance to set things straight, to clear things up, to make it right. 

“I’m sorry.” He blurts, at the same moment that you blurt the exact same words as him. 

For a moment, the two of you stare blankly at each other in the ringing silence that follows. 

You’re quicker to recover. 

“I went overboard.” You explain. “You don’t owe me an explanation for when you’re upset. I shouldn’t get mad over that. And even... even if you see me as just an obligation, I’m grateful you’re in my life at all. So, I’m sorry for getting upset and I don’t want to ruin the rest of this trip home.”

It’s certainly a heartfelt apology. You wring your hands in distress and you won’t meet his gaze. He can tell you’re genuinely sorry for what happened. 

Maybe that’s why he’s so angry in response to your words. Because, even if he lets this happen, accepts your ridiculous apology, the original problem still remains.

“Obligation?” Jin tests the word and even just the shape of the word in his mouth is annoying. “Obligation?” He tries again and he feels his blood pressure skyrocket. 

“You serious think after all this time that you’re just an ‘obligation’ to me?” Even Jin is surprised by the volume of his own voice. The area around you is deadly silent in response to his outburst, but now that it’s out in the open, he can’t help but keep going. “What kind of idiot would risk his life on a ridiculous trip like this, just because of an obligation? Why would I give up dinner dates and drive to your place late at night to make sure you’ve eaten? What, you think your mother slips me a little allowance for babysitting you? Newsflash, (Y/N), I’m a literal doctor!!! I don’t need an allowance! I own my own apartment! I’m thinking of buying a maserati! You don’t have anything I need and I don’t have any obligation towards you! You’re minimising everything I’ve done for you and for what? So that you can play poor pathetic victim? How dare you belittle my feelings like that!” He’s out of breath by the time he finishes his rant and to be honest he’s not one hundred percent sure of the furious words which had poured out. 

“Well what am I supposed to think?! It’s not like you ever explain yourself! You just sit there, and stew and I have to find out how you really feel by overhearing conversations you have with friends behind my back!” You explode in response. If Jin weren’t so angry himself, perhaps he would have felt alarmed by the vehemence of your answer. Instead, he just sees red, because here you go again! Making assumptions about him and not letting him get a word in edgewise! 

“When have I ever done that?” He demands. He doesn’t think he’s ever been so angry in his life, not even when Jungkook filled his shoes with pudding because he had nothing better to do.

“You always do that!” You cry. “I know how all your friends speak about me! There goes (Y/N), the leech! And you just agree with them- after all, aren’t I just like an untrained Labrador puppy?”

Jin falls silent at that. He doesn’t have a comeback for that. After all, for the longest time, that is what you were to him. He doesn’t even know why he’s so upset that you would think otherwise.

“No answer?” You accuse. “If I’m not an obligation to you, what am I supposed to think?”

“You’re supposed to think about how I feel!” He shouts back. His throat feels raw with the shout. 

You fall silent. You stare at him like’s he’s grown a second head. 

And then, in the ringing silence that bears down on the two of you, you ask softly “How do you feel?”

There’s that question. That terrifying, loaded question. The one that makes him feel like he’s dangling on the edge of a cliff by his fingertips. He feels the fight drain out of him as he opens his mouth to struggle through a half-assed excuse. Anything to escape that question. 

This realm apparently reciprocates his feelings of hatred, however, for he never gets the chance to respond. The muggy heat that had plagued the afternoon transitions into stormy humidity; overhead the stormy clouds that had gathered burst and immediately rain begins to pour down. 

The two of you flinch in the sudden onslaught, and a loud peal of thunder has you both skittering for shelter. 

There’s a small, hill like structure where the soil between the roots of an imposing tree has been flushed away; what remains in a shallow alcove that has just enough room for you and Jin to squeeze beneath the roots and shelter from the rain. He doesn’t know what Jungkook or the mice have done but hopefully the large pile of starshine fungus is being managed and not washed away in the onslaught of rain.

You rummage in your tattered hello kitty bag and produce a small, dry towel. Who knows what enchantments are cast on that stupid bag that the towel is still dry, but Jin isn’t complaining when you wordlessly hand it to him.  

He towels off his hair, and an almost comfortable silence follows, in stark contrast to the prior conversation. Only the background of rain falling and the occasional rumble of thunder hangs between you. In the silence, Jin registers your proximity. You crouch beside him, with your thighs pressed to his. The dampness of the rain makes hairs along your hairline curl and droplets of water cling to your lashes. His eyes catch the movement of one droplet as it traces a line down your cheek, across your jawline and down your throat until it vanishes beneath the collar of your shirt. Glancing away quickly, he’s suddenly aware of the muggy heat in the air and the way the space beside you just seems to radiate warmth. 

“You didn’t answer my question.” You comment. It’s so soft that the words are almost lost to the steady sound of rain breaking through the canopy overhead. “How do you feel?”

But he hears the words, and he knows in that moment that this is it. There’s no time or room for running or pushing it down. He can’t keep avoiding that question forever. 

“I feel overwhelmed. When you look at me.” He admits. You turn to look at him, awaiting an explanation. Something about the look in your eyes makes that weird gurgly sensation from earlier return. But this time, it’s less ugly- it’s actually almost pleasant. Like the fizz of champagne in the back of his throat or the tickle of butterfly wings against his skin. New, delicate, effervescent. His heart swells as he finally gathers his courage. “Did you know you always look at me in a certain way?”

He turns to look at you, and he doesn’t see that look now, but it’s not hard to recall. Eyes, sparkling with admiration and hope. In spite of all the ways you’ve changed over the years, that look has never changed. 

“How?” You question. When you’re facing him like this, the tail end of your breath catches against his skin. The fizzy feeling escalates to a nervous rumble in his chest. 

“Like I’m your hero.” He admits. “It’s a little scary- it’s so much to live up to. But it’s kind of exhilarating too. It makes me want to be the person you think I am.” 

You stare at him in confusion. 

“But you are-“ you protest. 

“I’m not. I’m no hero. I’m a coward.” He admits. “I mess things up all the time and I always say the wrong thing when it comes to you. And I’ve been trying so hard to be that guy. The one who has it all together and knows exactly what to say when you’re upset and can fix problems with a flick of his fingers.” It’s weird to finally be voicing this all aloud. He’s thought it a lot- that the real him doesn’t live up to expectations. But he doesn’t think he’s ever had the courage to tell you. Perhaps this is what you meant- if you are his friend, he should have told you all of this long ago. “But I’m not that guy. No matter how hard I try I can’t seem to be that guy. And if I open up… If I tell you all those things… don’t I seem so much less than that cool hero?” He confesses. “And I guess this whole trip has made it worse. Every time I think I have a handle on things, we get kidnapped or shot at or have to jump off a bridge. I haven’t had a spare moment to even pretend to be that guy.” He looks at you. “And then you come along, and you’re sneaking into enemy camps and taking arrows to the shoulder and defeating evil forest spirits. How am I even supposed to compare? And if you can do all of that on your own, what am I meant to be? What am I supposed to be to you? How can I be your hero?” He wonders. 

You stare at him in confusion. The rain starts to clear and a blade of sunlight cuts through the forest, catching the side of your face. It highlights the slope of your nose, the line of your cheekbones, the brightness of your eyes. In that moment, you aren’t his friend. You’re some ethereal, mystic being that feels a thousand miles out of reach. 

“I... I don’t want any of that from you, Jin. I don’t want or need a hero.” You finally confess. Your gaze softens as you shuffle forward, and the mood between the two of you shifts a little bit. Something intangible thickens the air and Jin feels strangely short of breath. “I just want... I just want...” you trail away, breaking your gaze but the tension in the air doesn’t dissipate. Instead, it seems to thicken when Jin realises that he desperately wants to know what you’re going to say. What do you want from him? What is he to you? What do you want him to be to you?

“You.” The word is barely above a breath and Jin feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. 

“M-me?” He stutters and he feels like a teenager with a crush with the way the tips of his ears go red and his face flushes hot. 

“Yeah.” You say, nodding shyly, before meeting his gaze with determination. “I want my friend back, Jin. I like the guy who stuck glow in the dark stickers on my ceiling when I was homesick but I also like the guy who gets scared of bugs and can fit an entire slice of cake in his mouth in one go. That guy is better than any hero because he’s here with me. And that’s what you do, Jin. You’re always here with me, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted from you.” You admit. 

The space between you is minuscule now- if Jin tilted his head just slightly forward, your noses would brush. This close, he can make out each individual lash framing your eyes. Every contour of your face is both familiar and unfamiliar; the air is electric. He recalls the way you had looked at him what feels like a lifetime ago, when he had realised your feelings. Are they still the same? Do you still like him even after seeing the pathetic person he is throughout this trip? If he tilted in and up and closed the gap between your lips, would you pull away or press forward? “I don’t want the guy who can fix things with a flick of his fingers. And I don’t want a hero. I want Kim Seokjin. It’s more fun to work things out together anyway.” You promise. 

It’s weird that those words are so liberating. Like a huge weight he didn’t know he’s been carrying all these years has been lifted. He’s fought and run and panicked for so long. Perhaps even longer than this trip. Long before you started avoiding him. Because all this time, he’s been trying to live up to an image he doesn’t fit into. He thought that’s what he had to be, for your sake. If you were struggling, he’d have to be strong enough to pull you out. But, with the words that hover between you, he realises he doesn’t have to be all that. He just has to be himself. Here the two of you are, after facing every imaginable danger, and yet you think no less of him. You’re looking at him with that same, admiring look. The brightness has not dimmed despite your awareness of his vulnerability, of his weakness.

And in that moment, Jin knows. There’s no more denying or running. He can’t keep it up- you’ve meticulously dismantled every stone in the fortress he built against you. He stands alone in the battlefield of his heart- you’ve conquered and won. He remembers earlier, when he’d tried to assert that he’d only ever see you as family, and the thought is laughable now. A pathetic, desperate excuse to avoid admitting the very thing that terrifies him to the bone. But, now he’s ready to admit it- ready to acknowledge what you are to him.

“You’re not an obligation to me.” He blurts. “You’re not a duty and you’re not just some un-trained puppy. You’re so much more than that, (Y/N), and everything I do is because I care about you so much. I’m sorry if it didn’t come across that way. I’m just..” He pauses and swallows. “I.. I lo-“

“There you are!” Jungkook’s voice sings out, and Jin winces. “I was starting to think you’d left me! Don’t worry guys, I’ve saved the fungus.”

You blink over Jin’s shoulder to where Jungkook has gathered the small little mushrooms into his jacket, which he’s folded into a little makeshift sack, the mice trailing behind. And then your gaze shifts back to Jin and you smile. 

“Guess it’s back to work.” You say, and your words are awfully cheerful considering Jin is currently considering murder. Jungkook doesn’t have a human identity yet- he could bury him in this realm, and no one would ever know. “Shall we work together?” 

It’s a loaded question, Jin knows, and despite everything, he finds himself smiling as well. 

“What other choice do I have?” He grumbles. “Let’s get home already.” 

[honeypirate]

Hi Honey!💖✨ For your 4/20 event (which I love so so much I love your brain) I’d like to request Koshi Sugawara with a stargazing date and a soulmate au please 🥺

! I hope you like this! I always go hard with soulmate aus because they’re one of my favs haha.

Event Masterlist

Suga x reader + stargazing + soulmates

I love Suga!

For the soulmate part of the au I chose to combine

Each soulmate pair has a constellation, the constellation that you perceive to be the brightest is one you share with your soulmate.

Andddd

Special pens where if both soulmates are holding their special pen, they can both write/draw the same thing. (Like sharing one pen in different locations.) but with this one it’s like a man made thing that not everyone uses.

Okay here we gooooo

“You’re a genius!” You say to Michimiya and she laughs, cheeks flushing a little from your excited outburst “we should have a party tonight with the both clubs and we can hang out in my backyard and project a movie and relax for our day off of school!”

“Thank you y/n! I thought it would be really fun too” you elbow her and waggle your brows “and then you can see if Daichi shares your constellation” you say and she covers her face. Not even trying to deny it.

You didn’t rely on the stars as much as she did, you thought your soulmate constellation was beautiful but you didn’t think it would be so easy to use it to find your soulmate.

You relied more on the soulmate pen. A new invention that connects to your nervous system and then connects to the cloud. If your soulmate also has their own connection then it’s like you’re using one pen at the same time. If you shake it, it’ll vibrate the other to let you know they’re gonna write. You’ve had yours for a few months and use it for everything, your soulmate didn’t have one it seemed, but it was a really good pen anyway and you liked using it.

You took your pen and notebook out, giving it a shake before you begin to write, checking the connection was a habit that you didn’t realize you had because of how often you did it and how often it was never responded to.

You wrote out a grocery list and titled it ‘friends night!’ With little doodles of you and Michimiya and balloons. Using her help to list what you might need for snacks and drinks and what you could ask others to bring.

When the night came your parents promised they’d stay away and you and your friends would have the downstairs and the whole backyard to yourselves. You put up the projector as well as blow up camping beds and chairs and all the blankets and pillows you owned. You strung out some string lights and hung up streamers and other things as well making stuff for nachos and having snacks and sodas at the ready.

As you were writing out a different list to calm your nerves from waiting for people to show up, your pen vibrates and you scream, throwing it across the room.

“What’s up?” Michimiya asks and you grin and laugh “it vibrated! They have a pen!”

Yui laughs and hands your pen back to you “then talk to them dummy”

You turn over the page and write “hi” at the top, with a little smile.

You wait a few minutes and then you feel a pull in the pen that brings it to the page and you follow the lead as it writes out “this is so weird”

You laugh and nod writing out “I know! I can’t get used to it”

Yui watches with jealousy and awe, wishing she had a pen as she watches this unfold.

Your soulmate writes out “where are you from?” You respond with your prefecture and high school but get sad when it doesn’t vibrate or write again. “Maybe they’re busy! Maybe their mom told them it’s time for dinner”

You slip your pen in your back pocket and nod, the doorbell ringing taking your attention for the time being.

“Suga let’s go” Daichi called out from the doorway but got a little nervous when he got no response. He made his way up the stairs to his room and found him pen in hand and giggling??

“So your soulmate had a pen huh?” He says but before Suga can respond Daichi is dragging him up “bring it with you I don’t wanna be late”

“Daichi is here!” Yui whispers excitedly and grabs your hand. You look to the front of the kitchen and find him saying hello to the others, Sugawara right beside him.

You’ve always liked Suga. He was easy to talk to and you always felt drawn to him. But you knew he didn’t have a soulmate pen and since yours did now, it couldn’t be him.

“He’s coming this way” you say and elbow her gently when you watch him catch sight of her.

When you can, you slip away to give them some space, excusing yourself to the bathroom for a moment

Your pen sat against the marble sink as you washed your hands as it vibrated a few times it made your heart skip and you jumped in a little fear before scrambling to dry your hands and grab a tissue to write on.

As you brought the oen down to the sheet gently, the pull of his drawing making a smaller rendition of your constellation.

“We’re written in the stars” he writes and then waits for you.

“That’s so cheesy” you respond and chuckles

“Am I wrong in guessing that you love it?”

You leave the bathroom to find michimiya to tell her and as you round the corner you spy her talking to Suga who has a paper plate against the table and a pen in his hand.

“Hey that’s y/n’s constellation ” you heard her say and you feel your soul fill with panic. Suga is your soulmate??!?! You turn and run, trying to find a place to hide.

You end up outside, hiding behind the giant sheets you hung up for the projector, end of the pen in your teeth as you wondered if he was looking for you.

The pen buzzed and you gasped, looking at it before holding it up to your forearm

“Y/n Where are you?”

Your hands shake and your worry is slowly drown out by excitement

“Projector sheets” you wrote on the back of your hand and then shoved the pen in your pocket and waited.

“Hey” you said, your cheeks feeling warm and your cheeks hurting from the smile that you can’t control

“Hey there” he says and stands in front of you “What are you doing out here?”

You chuckle and scratch your neck “oh ya know, prepping for the movie. Definitely not hiding from you”

He laughs and tucks your hair behind your ear “hiding from me?”

You take a step closer to him, your toes touching “I heard Yui tell you about the drawing and I was just a little overwhelmed. I always liked you and now you’re soulmate?!” You raise your hands and signal your mind blown, making the sound quietly with your mouth and he laughs

“I’ve always liked you too. I always felt relieved when you kept saying no one had responded to your pen.” He admits, his hands wrapping around your waist as you gravitate together. “I just got mine today”

“So you’re not disappointed it’s me?” You ask, hands resting on his chest

“Not in the slightest. I’m overjoyed” he admits, cheeks flushing as he starts to lean down

“Can we start this movie or what?!” Daichi shouts and you hear everyone start to come outside

“Guess that’s my cue” you say and lean up, kissing his cheek before taking his hand in yours and walking back out from behind the sheet.

“I was thinking we could watch Thor Ragnarok” you say and most of the responses were good so you just queued it up and turned on the projector.

You take one of the spots in the back of the group on a big bean bag you brought down from your room, pulling Suga down beside you. “Is this okay?” You ask as you cuddle into him and he laughs happily with a smile “more than okay”

You’re glad you’ve seen this movie a hundred times because you’re not paying attention at all. You’re completely cuddled up with Suga, looking up at his profile and getting distracted with how pretty he is and how he’s all yours now.

He's listening to the movie but he’s paying attention to you. How you smile when his fingers trace patterns against your back, how you smell and how you hum when he kisses the top of your head.

You’re not sure when the movie ends, everyone was talking and doing their own thing but your eyes were on Suga and on the sky. Your movie night turning into an impromptu stargazing date with your soulmate.

“Does it look even brighter now?” You ask and his eyes find the sky and your constellation “I think so. But it’s still not a bright as you” he says and looks back down to you with a smirk

“Again, cheesy” you say and meet his eye with warming cheeks

“Again, you love it” he says and you laugh, nodding

“I really do”

Across the yard you hear Michimiya describe the constellation she sees followed by Daichi’s voice “no way?! That’s mine too!”

[madame-brioche]

CAMP TOCCOA SERIES HEADCANON

Part 1: Meet the Counselors 🦋

Winters — The Nutritional Counselor:

-teaches math during the off-season

-affectionately calls his campers "little chicken nuggets"

-gets up at 5 in the morning for a quiet hike

-makes sure you take your required medication and vitamins and use your inhaler, whatever you need

-goes around to let everyone know it's time for light's out

-will comfort campers with ice cream if they're feeling homesick

-secretly planning a fun last day of camp prank with Counselor Nixon

-lots of pastels in his uniform

-rescues injured birds and squirrels, and nurses them back to health

-knows every camper's name, hobbies, favorite color, allergies

-pinkie promises on everything

-makes the best ice tea and coffee in the cafeteria

-“I love all of you equally”

Nixon — The Chaotic Functional Counselor

-used to pull legendary pranks before becoming a head counselor but now just does mostly paperwork

-tells nightmare-fuel scary stories and then abruptly says "well goodnight" afterwards & leaves

-carries a secret flask and gets wasted at the campfire

-hungover af at breakfast the next morning

-pets every dog he comes across, and even lets his campers sneak one into the bunks to keep

-wears baggy shorts, a baseball cap backwards and rocks sunglasses indoors

-gets hyped for taco Tuesday's in the cafeteria

-hosts wine Wednesday's in the counselors' lounge

-takes spiders outside rather than killing them

-oddly competitive during icebreaker games

-talks shit about other counselors to his campers

-“can I get a double shot americano with bourbon?”

Lipton — The Mom Counselor

-ray of fucking sunshine

-keeps in touch with his campers after they leave

-has been working there for an insanely long time

-arts and crafts leader, orchestrating friendship bracelet making

-gets along with all the other counselors, never has beef with anyone

-gives the best advice, even if you don't want to hear it

-the best bear hugs omfg just makes you feel so safe and protected

-smells like campfire and s'mores

-literally made out of happiness and gummy worms

-surprises everyone with a pajama pizza party

-makes sure you're staying hydrated and getting enough sleep, applying sunscreen/bug spray, and having a good time

-come to him with any injuries, aches, or pains

-“What do you mean you’re not having fun?”

Speirs — The Varsity Wilderness Survival Counselor

-how did this guy get to be a counselor?

-hides contraband in a shallow hole by the obstacle course

-breaks all the rules but upholds them for his campers

-will come in and scare the living shit out of you if you don't listen to Counselor Winters' lights out warning

-only one who hits Counselor Sobel with a water balloon

-gets up at 4am to lift and run around the campgrounds

-only wears tank tops, even in the cold

-will test his campers by leaving them in the woods at night and expect them to find their way back

-maybe sheds one tear on the last day, maybe

-really high stakes trust exercises

-will suck the venom out of a snake bite to save your life

-moves through the forest without making a sound

-“I will throw you to the mountain lions”

Welsh — The Hip Counselor

-plays Wonderwall on his acoustic guitar during campfire performances

-hasn't showered in a week and it's noticeable

-grows a goatee and runs around barefoot

-is banned from helping out in the kitchen

-will set up your tent for you in exchange for drugs

-reigning tie-dye shirt making champ

-recycling king™️

-makes sure there's vegetarian options in the cafeteria

-smells like mother nature's armpit

-wears a bandana around his head

-can be found avoiding duties and playing ultimate frisbee with his campers

-“tbh, I’ve had five existential crises since we’ve been here!”

Compton — The Cool Friend Counselor

-wears a different flannel everyday

-calls you out for your bullshit during cabin meetings

-gives the best pep talks before games of capture the flag

-somehow manages to read 4+ books over the course of camp

-knows how to sew/patch up clothes

-leads most of the cheers and rallying songs

-hangs out with campers instead of other counselors in his free time

-always down for darts, archery, swimming, sailing, kayaking, you name it

-overshares personal life details during campfire sharing time

-will totally help you TP Counselor Sobel’s cabin

-once ate a bee on a dare

-“guys, I’m not mad but who put weed killer in my shampoo?”

Martin — The Don’t F With Me Counselor

-resting bitch face during camp cheers

-aggressively salutes the flag during morning assembly

-inexplicably good at memorizing everyone’s name on the first day

-openly drinks gin and tonic in the cafeteria

-the reason a few campers wanted to go home

-somehow ends up being one of your favorite counselors by the last day

-is not subtle about playing favorites

-cooks most of the food for the camp and will be insulted if you don’t eat what’s on your plate

-can do that loud whistle with his fingers to get everyone’s attention

-low key freaks out if one of his campers is missing and will not rest until they’re found

-mood can go from 0 to 100 over the pettiest things

-“Yeah I’m gonna need you to kindly pipe the fuck down with the crazy glue for the rest of craft time”

Randleman — The Boy Scout Counselor

-wears a lot of camo at all times

-scary good at poker

-smokes on the premises even though it’s forbidden

-talks fast and direct, commands your attention

-makes a mean s’more and prefers the marshmallow to be burnt

-will let his campers get away with the most shenanigans so long as it’s not hurting anyone

-actually cries the last day of camp

-kickball and flag football champion

-has wrestled a grizzly bear and won

-collects pocket knives and random critters

-bff’s with Counselor Martin and sometimes takes charge of Martin’s campers and vice versa

-has never gotten bit by a mosquito

-snores loudly and will sleep through anything

-has been granted camp counselor tenure because he’s been there so dang long

-“y’all wanna go sink a canoe?”

Peacock — The Cute But Clueless Counselor

-wears a lot of band t-shirts merch

-has song lyrics tattooed on various body parts

-rocks an intentional mullet

-constantly getting lost when leading hikes but great at improvising

-has a tan even if the sun hasn’t been out

-blood smells like cologne

-instructs canoeing and determines whether you pass the swim test or not

-has a way with animals and manages the small camp petting zoo

-got six stitches last year from doing a flip off the dock

-gets scared from the scary stories Counselor Nixon tells

-“la la la la if I can’t hear the ghosts they can’t hurt me”

Dike — The Absentee Counselor

-says “oof” after any minor inconvenience

-oversleeps and misses morning assembly

-a camper may die on his watch, you never know

-gives sub par motivational speeches

-tries to comfort homesick campers but ends up crying himself

-has a fear of swimming without water wings

-might get mauled by a bear later

-given up on learning his campers’ names

-calls other counselors for help

-has one facial expression at all times

-spits when he talks

-constantly stressed during outdoor camping

-passive aggressiveness af during cabin meetings

-sleeps with a night light

-“wait am I responsible for all of you?”

Sobel — The Narc Counselor

-literally no one likes him

-mission is to make sure everyone follows his rules

-carries around a bullhorn and a backup whistle

-failed the swim test

-says “fight me” but would get his ass kicked

-misspells everything

-will give you latrine duty if you leave your bunk bed unmade or the dishes aren’t in alphabetical order

-doesn’t participate in campfire games or sing alongs

-got left behind on a trail for 9 hours once

-confiscates any and all contraband camp items including non regulated shoes

-likes noodles with ketchup

-perpetual disappointed glare

-has a cold like once a week

-only allows one s’more per camper

-“and you will know my name is the lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee, now put this can of peaches back where it belongs!”

Stay tuned for Part 2: The Campers

[caitlinsnicket]

Heroic entrance

Request: Lee Scoresby imagine w/fem!reader please! You're an explorer, and married to Lee (and an old friend of Iorek's), you've been up north for some time when Lee is travelling to see Iorek and after Lee and the Gyptians run into some TarTars, you swoop in and kick some serious ass, and reunite with Lee! + How he introduces you to the Gyptians / meeting Iorek again ? Basically proud hubby Lee!

Characters: Lee Scoresby, Y/N, John Faa, Lyra Belaqua, Iorek Byrnison.

Warnings: Canonical violence. I think that’s all.

Pairing: Lee Scoresby x Y/N.

A/N: I’M SO SORRY IT TOOK ME SO LONG TO FINISH THIS! But a lot of things have happened these days, and I’m going to be even more busy in th beginging of this month, but I promise I’ll do all requests I’ve gotten. Feel free to like, reblog or leave a comment! Also, requests are (still) open (even though I take some time to do them)!

While they walked through the ice, snow, and wind, Lee took a picture out of his coat pocket. In the picture, he, Hester, you and D/N hugged each other, smiling at the camera with winter clothes. He missed you like hell, as it had been a couple of months since you had seen each other. When he sent you a letter telling you about his plan to rescue Iorek, you had been pretty positive about it, encouraging him to go there and help the bear. After all, you and Iorek were good friends too.

“Who’s the pretty woman in the picture?” Noticing the little girl beside him, Lee hands the piece of paper to Lyra, who looks at it curiously as if analyzing them.

“Y/N Scoresby. My wife. She would’ve come with me on this trip, but she was already in the North when I left. It’s been two months, and we miss her. You would like her, you two have a very similar personality” He takes the picture away from the hands of a very stunned Lyra.

Not that she imagined Lee alone in the balloon all his life, but having a wife was something she didn’t expect from him. And you were breathtaking, and Lyra dared to compare you to Mrs. Coulter. Though,, your beauty was kinda different: a more wild, savage, free, as if it had time and space to grow as it pleased. Mrs. Coulter's beauty was a cold one, that could trick anyone into trusting her. A more composed, perfect, hard beauty.

The moment Lyra was going to ask more questions about you to Lee, who still had a lovesick look in his face (probably remembering the day you two took that picture), a gunshot was heard ahead of them, and everybody got alert. Lee took his gun from his belt and pulled Lyra behind me, Hester moving her ears around trying to catch any movements. Then, men started to show from afar and from the snowdrifts. Not just any men: tartars.

“Lee! Protect Lyra, and get behind me” Iorek yelled, quickly putting his helmet on again, running in the direction of the men with their wolf daemons. The gyptians fought too, with guns, swords, and short knives. Slowly but effectively the tartars started to back down or to fall in the ground, their daemons vanishing into an explosion of dust, mixing themselves with the snow that started to fall. 

Lyra was glued to Lee’s back, and Pantalaimon hid into her neck, taking the form of a small mouse. Lee shot sometimes, and soon everything went silent again, people looking for any harm on each other. Lee rushed to check on Lyra, and when she seemed alright, he relaxed, but it didn’t last long, as three Tartars emerged out of nowhere pointing their swords to Lee.

It was the end, he thought. He would die there, without looking at your face one last time, not getting to say goodbye. At least he was going to be able to protect Lyra. It would be the end. His life would have ended right there, at that exact moment.

If it wasn’t for one person. A figure knocked off one of them right way, with one punch, the second following soon after with a hit from a piece of wood. The figure’s daemon jumped on the last tartar’s daemon, sticking it to the ground, giving the figure time to knock him in the ground and suffocate him ‘till unconsciousness. At the end of the fight, the figure pushed a strand of H/C hair out of their face.  

Lee, for one second, didn’t process what just happened. Then, when your figure turned to him, D/N sniffing the air looking for more tartars, Lee let out an exclamation that made your stomach ache with butterflies and happiness. Your smile was so big, he could have sworn all the snow around him melted. Like it was the sun itself. Like you were a goddess, sent from the Authority to bless his life. He got off the ground and ran to you, spinning you around while you giggled. You two spent far too much time without each other for your own goods.

“I read your last letter on time and figured out where you would be. Thank god I arrived in time” you say gently, cupping his cheeks and resting your forehead against his “I’m going to stay with you now. You visibly need some assistance”.

Lee smiled his arms around your waist, holding you tightly against him. With a silent agreement, he locked his lips to yours. Massaging your lips slowly, taking it all in, your hands burying themselves into his hair. His tongue passed through your bottom lip, and you let him assert his dominance into your mouth. But before you two could deepen the kiss, a cough is heard.

"I'm glad you are safe Y/N. It's good to see you again. You as well, D/N" Iorek's deep voice said, getting closer and taking off his helmet so you could see him better. Without a second thought, you launched yourself into the bear's neck, hugging him tightly. He breathed heavily into your hair but leaned into your embrace anyway. You two had gone through some things together just like he and Lee, so your bond with him was as strong as his bond with Lee.

“I’m sorry to interrupt this… heated reunion, but care to tell who is this, aeronaut?” John Faa asked, still in his defensive mode, standing between you two and the rest of the group.

Reluctantly, Lee let you go but took a look at your necklace with your marriage ring ranging on it. Then, he knew everything would be alright.

“This is Y/N. She’s an explorer, aeronaut, intelligent, beautiful woman. Oh yeah, she’s also my wife. Don’t worry, we can trust her” You smile firmly at the man, extending your hand for him to shake. When he does, he lets Lee tell you all the details of their mission, and in the meantime you two exchange pecks here and there.

At the moment your group settles a camp for the night, you two are around a fire, and Lee has presented you to everybody there. You were starting to get embarrassed by all the attention, and when he left to pick something from the balloon, you sit alone in front of the said fire. D/N by your side, almost sleeping, didn’t notice the approach of someone else.

“You are the woman in the picture Mr. Scoresby showed me. His… wife” a little girl asked you, her daemon sniffing D/N silently, trying to earn a reaction from him “My name is Lyra”.

“Yeah, I’m his wife. So you are the famous Lyra. Lee wrote about you in his letters. He said I would like you. That you were smart and witty, that we were alike. He also said you liked to cause trouble” you whisper the last part, playing with her “In that, we are very alike”.

Lyra smiles at you and looks into the fire, uncertain of what to say. You were nothing like Mrs… Like her mother. You were sat with your legs spread wide, your hair messed up and freely flying in the soft wind, a playful smile in your lips. Your daemon looked relaxed as well, wild and dangerous but gentle at the same time. Lyra knew it wasn’t smart, but she already felt like she could trust you.

“I never thought I would get so far up in the north” She, shyly, tried to start a conversation “It is certainly colder than we thought”.

You smile at her lightly flushed cheeks. Then, you decide to tell her the story of the first time you went north, just you and your father. Then you proceeded to tell her how you and Lee met, how it was when D/N settled, how you almost got killed once while traveling to Madagascar. Her eyes were shining with wonder, and she admired you. Without realizing, Lee sat by your side, watching you with lovesick eyes as you told her stories.

“What is it, love?” You ask, your grin growing wider as you looked at him. Love and adoration, all over his face.

“Nothing. I just missed you. And, to be honest, your heroic entrance was kinda hot”.

The three of you laughed, and you two kept telling Lyra stories until she fell asleep and you had to bring her inside your tent. She fell asleep dreaming about traveling the world, maybe with you two by her side. And Lee couldn’t be prouder.

[dragon-kazansky]

Going North - Chapter nine

Chapter 9 - A boy returns

Lee kept to his word and managed to get to stop worrying over Lyra. When you first met her you never expected to become so attached to her, but here you were. Lee told you he understood. Lyra had made an impact on both him and Iorek. He hoped they both came back safely too.

The only time you had thought about Lyra again was when Lord Faa had come over to talk to you about her, but you told him you had faith in her. The alethiometer doesn't lie, so it wasn't leading her astray. Ma Costa wasn't too happy about the situation, and you dared not go talk to her about it. Though she did give Lyra some food to take with her.

You remained by Lee's side the entire day.

During lunch the pair of you had a wonderful conversation, getting to know each other some more.

"You said you made trinkets, didn't you?" He asked at one point.

"Yeah, why do you ask?"

"Well, we're not going any where for a while, thought maybe I could see you at work." He smiled.

"I suppose.... on one condition." You told him.

"Name your price."

"You promise me, promise, that you will give me a ride in your balloon." You smiled. "I know you said maybe, but I want you to promise. The thought is just too exciting and I want to be up there in the sky." You gazed up briefly. The sky wasn't very clear here, but Lee understood your meaning.

"Well, that does sound fair." He thought about it. "Deal. What do you need?"

"Scrap will do. I can make things out of the tiniest bits of metal, if I want to." You told him.

"I think I have a few spare parts somewhere." He went over to one of the sleds and dug around. Most of what he brought was for his balloon, but he figured he could spare some to see you at work. You interested him and he wanted to see you skills in action. A ride in his balloon seemed like a fair price for you. "Here you go." He came back with a few things. "Don't you need tools?"

You took the parts from him and smiled.

"Not a problem." You set them down and dug into your pocket, taking out a tin no bigger than your hand. You opened it up to reveal a small tool kit.

"You came prepared I see." He chuckled, sitting down next to you.

"It's in my nature to always be prepared with my work. You never know when something might need fixing.... or taking apart." You chuckled. You organised the parts and thought about what to make. Hester hopped up next to you, curious to see you at work, also. You smiled.

You're not sure how long you were both sat there, chatting like you had known each other for years, but eventually you were done.

"I think that's it." You held up your finished product. A small metal rabbit.

Lee looked at it, taking it from you when you offered it to him. He turned it slowly in his hands as he admired your hard work. It was amazing. There was so much detail laced into it, despite how few parts you had to work with.

"This is incredible."

"I try my best." You shrugged.

"Y/N can work with anything." Oliver said, flying over to Lee. "She just needs a little inspiration."

Hester looked at you with bright eyes.

"Now I have two Hester's." Lee chuckled. "Looks just like you." He held it close to her.

"I like it." She said. "You're very talented."

"It's what I do." You smiled.

Lee couldn't get over how awesome this little thing was. You were amazing. The entire time you were making it, he couldn't look away. It was like he was hypnotised into watching your hands work.

"I'm holding you to your promise." You told him.

Lee snapped back into reality and looked at you.

"A ride in my balloon, I haven't forgotten. When the times comes." He smiled at you.

"I look forward to it."

You cleaned up the mess you had made and came back to talk some more with Lee. He was so easy to talk to. When you met him, you never expected to get on with him so well. The pair of you clicked.

"So, do you and Hester travel alone?" You asked, noticing he hadn't mentioned anyone else.

"Just the two of us and the open sky."

"Isn't that lonely?" You asked.

Lee shrugged. "I'm used to it. What about you? Do you work with others?"

"No. Just Oliver and I." You realised that you had more in common with him than you thought. "I don't get lonely though, I have plenty of people pass through my shop. The Gyptians never travel too far away, either."

"You do seem to get on really well them." He pointed out.

"They're friends of mine. If you get on their good side, they can be your friends too." You smiled. "They are pretty wonderful people to know."

The rest of the afternoon passed by quickly. You and Lee spent hours talking to one another about anything. You asked about some of the places he had been to, he spared no detail. He asked about some of your projects, you happily discussed those. You told him about your fascination with vehicles. He told you about him and Iorek.

No one else bothered the pair of you as you sat there talking away.

Your mind was free from worry of Lyra for the time being.

It was dark when things began to stir. Serafina's daemon screeched out upon their arrival. Lee and yourself had retired to the tent at the time, but when you heard the fuss, neither one of you wasted time in coming out to see what was happening.

Lyra had returned with Iorek.

And someone else.

"Billy! Is that my Billy?" Ma called out, hurrying over.

"Oh my God." You sprinted over, hurrying over to Iorek. Lee watched you go, following you quickly.

The boy was helped down, though he did not move at all. You looked up at Lyra. There was something about the expression on her face that didn't sit right with you. You knew something bad had happened. It was right of her to follow the alethiometer, though.

"Where's Ratter? Where's his daemon?" Ma asked.

They put Billy down.

"Is that my Billy?" She asked again.

Billy couldn't hold himself up and toppled over. Something was very wrong here. Ma held onto him.

"Maggie, let me help you." John said, coming to her aid. "Take him inside. Get him warm." He helped lift the boy into her arms, she cried as she carried him away.

Lyra tried to follow, but Lee pulled her back gently.

"Best leave them to it." He said. "Trust me when I tell you that they love you, but this... they won't want you there for." He told her.

"He was... He was... without his daemon. Like a ghost." She said, sounding broken.

You put your arm around her, no longer wishing to look at the sight. Seeing Billy like that, it hurt.

"The alethiometer was right. It was like... like he wasn't there. Like he couldn't even hear me." She looked at you.

"This must be what they do. This is what they take." Lee said, sharing a sad look with you.

"It's horrible." Lyra leaned into your side a little, looking for some comfort. You would give what you could. "It's worse than anything." She said, her voice a little stronger this time. "Why would they take someone's daemon?"

Hester lowered her ears, dreading the thought. Oliver lowered his head, keeping his beak close to his feathers. He would never want to be separated from you.

"It's about control, isn't it? Because if you can remove someone's soul, you can do anything." Lee said, speaking softly.

Iorek growled. You turned to face him as he turned away.

"Yeah, our furry friend here doesn't deal too well with emotion. Never has. He'll be back at first light." Lee explained. "Hey, you did a brave thing, kid. A good thing." He said, seeing the look on Lyra's face. You gave her a squeeze. Lee placed a hand on her back and gave her a small pat. You were both very proud of her.

"You trusted your instincts. You found Billy." You said. "Come on." You and Lee took her back to your tent. You guided her to the fire where she could get warm. You gave her something to drink, but she didn't touch it.

Lee came over to where you were sitting.

"You OK?" He asked softly. He had noticed how unsettled you had been when you realised it was Billy.

"No." You replied quietly. "Poor Billy. I can't... Why would they do that? He's just.... a shell." You looked at him with tear filled eyes. "It was horrible to look at." You went to wipe the tear that begun to fall, Lee hushed you softly and pulled you into a one armed hug. What happened to Billy was awful.

"Hey, now. Shh. It's going to be OK. We're going to be OK." He spoke so sweetly, so kindly. "We won't let this happen to anyone else."

It seemed that Lee had that faith you did.

Without his daemon, Billy was no longer that same boy who used to follow his brother around, or play with the toys you used to make for him. He won't ask any more curious questions, hug his mother, be the wonderful boy he was.

They had taken that from him.

Eventually you all moved into the tent. Ma and Tony had been quiet after taking Billy into one of the tents further down. You wanted Lyra to get some rest after what had happened, but even you didn't feel like resting.

It wasn't until a little while later that you had to wake her up. News had travelled through camp.

"Lyra." Lee gave her a little nudge. "Lyra."

"He died." She understood just by the looks on your faces. You nodded softly.

"He must have been wandering around for days - frozen, exhausted."

"Can I see him?" She asked quietly.

"Of course you can." You said.

Lyra got up. You and Lee followed. The atmosphere outside was quiet, sad. Lyra walked over to where Billy lay. They were preparing to burn his body. No one said anything as she neared him.

Lee remained close to you.

Ma was kneeling over her boy. She looked up when Lyra came over.

Lyra silently pulled the tarp from over his face, only his face. That's when it became hard for her to hold back her feelings. She began to cry softly. She covered him back up.

Ma had stood up, coming to her side. Lyra wrapped her arms around her and cried into her shoulder, Ma holding her close.

You couldn't back your own tears.

"Now we know what terrible wickedness these people are capable of." John Faa said to Ma. "Now we can see our duty plainer than ever. We have to fight."

"We have to kill." Ma said, her voice strong, but her eyes still glistened with tears.

Lyra let go of Ma, looked at her and silently turned around. She rushed towards you and you pulled her into a hug, letting her cry. You cried with her. Lee hated this. He hated what had happened. He wrapped an arm around you and gave you the comfort you needed, while you comforted Lyra.

Ma lit the fire and stood back as she watched the flames consume her son. She began to break down, unable to handle her strong facade any longer. Her son had been taken from her.

Tony went over to comfort her.

Lyra turned in your arms to look. Lee kept an arm around you. No one said anything as you just watched.

This was the worst thing you had ever seen.

The Gyptians began to sing, letting his soul set free.

Billy could rest now.

Oliver stood next to Hester, who glanced at Pan. Their thoughts with Ratter, wherever he may be.

You pressed a kiss to Lyra's head, squeezing her softly.

No other child should have to go through this.

The mission was clear.

It was a sad night for you all.

When the hour grew too late, and it was all over, everyone was exhausted. It was difficult to accept that he was gone. You guided Lyra back to the tent you and Lee were staying in, there was enough room for a little one, and you all got ready for bed. You lay awake with Lyra for a while, not saying anything, but holding her hand when she reached for you.

Lee sat silently, looking at you both.

You waited for Lyra to fall asleep, she was too tired to remain awake any longer.

Lee offered you a tiny smile when you looked at him.

"Just wake me if you need me." He told you.

You nodded, rolled over, and closed your eyes. Your heart was heavy, but you needed sleep.

Tags:

@awyr @fandombeehive @charmed-asylum  @sigynbandraoi-blog @procrastinatingmurder  @beebofrank13 @gemellath @eagleandthebutterfly  @kpopgirlbtssvt @raeofstarshine @melancholicsthings @ettorah @iaintnofurry @thatkindofgurl @curse-brekker @sitkafay @flashettewrites @lucienjynix 

[mtraki]

Cor Week Day 7

Day 7: Cake | Cor doesn’t celebrate his birthday | Cor gets thrown a surprise birthday party   (Happy Birthday, Cor!)

It was a strange morning.  For whatever reason Cor’s body was plagued with a dragging lethargy, despite getting plenty of sleep-- more, in fact, than he’d grown accustomed to.  Maybe that was the issue…

Maybe that also explained the quiet, but insistent nagging in the back of his mind that he was forgetting something.

It didn’t explain the other strange things about the morning: like how instead of gathered around for breakfast, the others were scattered in disparate activity.  Or how Prompto was avoiding him.  Again.  Or as well as any of them could avoid one another without leaving the confines of the camp.  It was in the way he refused to meet his look-- turning another direction or ducking to the side, busying himself with nothing.

But here was Ariel, bringing him a steaming mug and a smile, pressing the metal and ceramic into his hands before leaning up to kiss him on the cheek, “Good morning.  Hungry?”

“Mm,” He agreed into the lip of the mug, welcoming the bitter taste and warmth of coffee only barely sweetened.  It wasn’t burnt, so she must have made it.  Prompto didn’t drink it, and Nyx claimed to like it long over the coals.  Before the young woman could continue on, he caught her wrist, and her dark eyes returned to his face, “What’s wrong with Prompto?”

Cor watched confusion flicker over her expression before she gave the blond an inquisitive look herself, “Nothing…?  What’s wrong with Prompto?”

“He’s avoiding me.”

“Really?” She frowned, lips pursing slightly, “Do you want me to ask him about it?”

“... No.” And Cor sipped again, releasing his companion, deciding he could ask himself.

“Hey Prompto.”

The blond nearly jolted out of his boots and turned to stare wide-eyed, “Y-y-y-yess-sir?”

“What’s wrong?”

“N-nothing’s wrong!” Was the reply with the most unconvincing delivery possible, secrecy and guilt flashing through every line in his face and body.

“Nothing besides how we’re suddenly out of fire-starters and potions,” snarked Nyx as he came back from where he’d been rummaging through their supplies, “Seemed somebody shorted the two we had out…”

“That wasn’t--”

“--Oh no?  You’re the only one who uses them for stuff other than lighting fires for cooking, kid.”  Ulric had mastered the technique of delivering an effective guilt-trip with an incredibly cheerful tone.  The blond’s mouth worked uselessly while his face went from bleached bone to bright red.

“So now I gotta go get another one.  And an endless match like I said in the first place…” The Galahdian went on, just as cheerfully.

Furrowing his brow, thinking of their very light wallet, Cor countered, “... Do we really need replacements?  We have magic.” “Yeah most of the time we have magic.” Nyx shrugged, “If we’re all together, and Ariel and I are good to go.  If that checklist isn’t filled out, are we just gonna stay in the dark and eat cold food?  Come on…”

It was a strange morning when Nyx was thinking further ahead than he was… Cor shrugged, “You going now?”

“Yeah.  You coming?”

“... Sure.  Let me eat first.”

“I’ll get you a plate, old man.”

They were just crossing under the stone arches leading to Lestallum when Nyx looked at him, bemused, “Okay, what are you doing?”

Frowning back at him, Cor answered, “What.”

“You keep messing with your pockets.  Are you looking for something or just fondling yourself?”

“Funny.” Sighing, the Marshal withdrew his hands after verifying once again that he did have all his personal effects on his person and hadn’t misplaced one “... I can’t shake the feeling that I’ve forgotten something is all.”

“Really?  Like what?” The amusement on Nyx’s scarred face split into a full grin.

It was strange, suspicious almost, so Cor slowed his pace and spoke with more consideration, “... I don’t know.”

The Kingsglaive hadn’t slowed, and was continuing on ahead, casual and confident as ever, “Must be your age catching up with you.”

Oh.

Oh shit.

Cor stopped, “... My age.”

“It happens to the best of us, Marshal.  No reason to be dramatic about it.”

“... So that’s what was going on…”

Now Nyx turned and looked at him, back to the quirking eyebrow and lazy smirk, “Oh?”

Cor didn’t answer, he was too busy remembering how he’d strangely been the last one out of the tent, and how the others hadn’t been eating together but doing separate tasks around the camp.  How Ariel had come immediately to monopolize his attention.  How Prompto had been acting so strange and evasive.  Nyx’s sudden accusations…

“Ulric,” He snarled, pinning the younger man with a glare, “you’re in on this.”

“In on what?”

“The three of you are planning something for today.  For my birthday.” Irritation throbbed through his guts, “... This is entirely unnecessary.”

“Some of us don’t agree.” Nyx shrugged.

“We don’t have resources or time to waste on celebrating a middle-aged has-been getting one year older.  You know I don’t want a fuss made over me.  At all.”

The amusement left Nyx’s face and he folded his arms, “Okay, I could agree with your sentiment until you called yourself a ‘has-been’.  If you’re a has-been, what does that make me?  Your self-depreciation has no place in this conversation, Cor.”

“What are they planning?”

“Nothing expensive.”

Irritation threatened to flare into anger, something cold etching along his bones.  Cor swallowed it back. “... I don’t want to waste time and energy with this.”

“Can I ask why?”

It was a reasonable request.  More reasonable than Cor was feeling, but he sighed slowly and pinched between his eyes, “Bad memories.  Birthdays were never a good time growing up.  Then… Re--His Majesty found out about it, and tried to make… kind gestures.  A crown prince’s kindness looked a lot like pity back then.  He and the others learned to… tone it down… over the years.  Now they’re gone, and I’m growing older without them.”

He wasn’t sure if Nyx would get it.  What he’d learned of Galahdian culture had reinforced their clannish, survival-focused customs-- birthday celebrations were private affairs within close social circles.  Nyx might be left wondering if he and the others were somehow outside Cor’s closest social circles.  But that wasn’t the case at all. It was just… the tradition.  Regis had re-framed the birthday tradition for Cor from what his childhood had made, and now that Regis and Clarus were gone, and Weskham and Cid far away… He just didn’t have the wherewithal to try and establish a new tradition without them.  It just didn’t matter that much to him...

Nyx was looking at him, then he shrugged and dropped his arms to his sides, “Okay, sure.  I can get behind that.” “Thank you.” “It wasn’t ever me you needed to convince.” Nyx’s smile was apologetic, “Come on, we still have shit to buy.”

Shit…

Altissians had altogether much different and dramatic views on the cultural significance of birthdays and the commemoration of them.

“Please don’t.” Was all he said when he saw the camp.  It wasn’t, he admitted, as bad as Cor had dreaded.  No balloons or streamers.  No crowd of people.  Only Cid and Cindy, a small round cake, and a few small gifts wrapped in scrap paper and string.

And his two other companions who were thinking themselves very clever-- though he thought Ariel looked a bit distressed, as if keenly aware that unwritten rules from her childhood demanded that if she really cared, she’d have arranged for so much more.

Prompto was happily preparing to snap photos.

“Happy birthday!” They all cried.

“Thank you.” He was suddenly glad that Nyx had insisted on a bottle of whiskey-- which Ariel was coming over to take from him, along with the other supplies he and the Galahdian had carried.

“--I know.” She interjected before he could tell her, “You’re mad at me.  That’s fine.  It’s just a little cake and a few small gifts and your friends and then some shots of whiskey, okay?”

“Just so we’re clear.”

“Are ya still on about all that, kid?” Cid groused at him, a scowl on his face but a grin hidden in the creases of his eyes, “When are you gonna grow outta bein’ such a brat?”

“Maybe after you do, you old coot.”

It was, after all, a nice little respite from the usual routine of their days of hard travel broken up by frantic battle, and when they settled down around the campfire with shots of whiskey, Cor could quietly admit to himself that it hadn’t been a waste of a day after all.  The cake, now gone, had been tasty and enjoyable-- especially the satisfaction of smashing the remainder of a slice into the side of Nyx’s head so that frosting was still in bits of his hair and probably in his ear after the Kingsglaive had thought himself quick, clever, and ballsy enough to bump Cor’s forkful into his nose.  Prompto had graciously taken a slew of shots despite his laughter.

If either Hammerhead mechanic thought anything of how casually the four of them leaned and lounged on each other, they didn’t voice it.  Cor figured they knew-- Cid most certainly understood what he was looking at, even if he didn’t understand how it had happened.  Cid knew what kind of trust was needed to be able to casually touch Cor.

Honestly, he wasn’t sure how it had happened either.  It just had.  This was his family now, after Insomnia.  These were the people he wanted to go through the end of the world with.  Even if it took more than one birthday to get there.

[wherethestoryhasimagination]

As a Pallet cleanser...

I’ve posted a bit to much Meat. And so before I dive on in to Candy, which, from the impressions I’ve gathered, contains terrors greater than those found in meat, I’ll be providing some ‘Candy’ of my own, hopefully in a form reminiscent of thin mint cookies.

I’ll be making as wholesome, happy, and generally carefree a post as I can possibly make.

I’m going to be BluHing out my thoughts and ideas for things I would Hope for, dream of, and expect to possibly see in various percentages of those three of-

Animal Crossing.

As Animal Crossing has progressed through the Years, more and more chances for Player agency to influence the world have come to be. even going so far as to give you an official government job where you help to plan/fund Public infrastructure & The Arts. An update was even added at one point that would let you have more control over what Villagers were in your town; something practically impossible in past games, & in the pre-update New-Leaf.

I expect this trend to continue, though how it continues may vary; my Hopes for the hypothetically possible, & Dreams for the incredibly unlikely as follows.

Furniture Creation; it can be tricky getting that last piece of a set that just never seems to be in stock. but if you had a way to get furniture pieces that are not in your catalog, such randomness would be relieved… There’s even already ways to change some pre-existing pieces of furniture by bringing it and a set of gems to an npc in retail… severely limited in that form, but… a definite precursor to being able to get the furniture you want by using resources you have. and while it is a spin off I know little about, I believe Pocket Camp actually Does have a more tangible form of ‘crafting’. it even has an official Quarry to dig in.

extensions on the new ‘burst collection’ mechanic introduced in Pocket Camp; Pocket camp introduced items such as fishing nets and honey for gathering fish and bugs faster than one could with a rod or bug net. in a new game without micro transactions, a number of things could be done to balance the effectiveness, cost, and availability of items that help make it easier to get things; like rotted turnips & candy attracting ants, but elaborated upon.

improved mail system; just a little thing here. maybe a Villager you had been best friends with, but who had to move away, could send you a postcard inviting you to visit, should you ever wish to do so, with a Picture of their new town on it.

Food options; even if they are as useless as eating has always been, more options would be nice. like actually getting to partake in the displays that appear on some holidays, or being able to actually eat some pudding, like what some Villagers claim to have accidentally eaten 23 servings of from time to time… And hey, if some villagers have favorite foods, getting it for them could be a nice thing to do. maybe going to Brewsters could serve a purpose other than buying coffee till you’re given access to Gyroid storage, or working a small, part-time job.

semi-open world feel; even if it’s just an illusion, it would be groundbreaking for The Flanking Cliffs to finally give way to nature. even if the Cliffs are just sometimes replaced by massive clusters of impassible, unchopable trees that serve the same purpose. a tiny bit of variety in world wall could help. but full, low restriction openness is the dream… maybe have rivers a little bit wider than most, that you could eventually make crossable with foot-Bridges…(trains and such have their own bridges already of course, so you can still take the train to new places) … you know what? yea… Building Bridges… uniting the World… I like that. from now on, my hypothetical Animal Crossing game will be called ‘Animal Crossing Bridge Builders’.

Wood?/new tree mechanics?; the Ax is one of the least used tools. and once you’ve got the trees you want exactly where you want them, it begins to feel like Time slows down… The World only changing when you or villagers make it change, or with the seasons. a bit more of a purpose to trees could be an incentive to experiment, or to pay more attention to The World, as you watch new saplings grow far more frequently than you ever did when planting new trees was a one-off aesthetic setup. Plus, if furniture crafting does become a thing, you got to get materials somewhere.

‘More’; exactly as it says on the tin. More fruit types, more tree types, more Villagers… a simple expectation, but one worth note.

extend on the mining thing from pocket camp?; I’m mostly thinking of this for the sake of a single gag… The mining place underground is randomly generated once a week or so… And poor Mr. Resetti… Another job change has resulted in them being tasked with helping facilitate the process that… Resets, the underground so that you’ll always have fresh access to the resources you need.

(huh… food, crafting, fishing, foraging, mining… this is starting to become more and more like Stardew Valley, only without an official farmland)

Balloon Presents; you ever wonder where those balloons come from? maybe you could give something back. Perhaps you could release things up into the air, where someone, somewhere will eventually get it. 

‘Island Search’; an excuse for the ability to Design, shape and all, your very own island. after all, the Ocean is so big, that of course you’ll end up finding an island that matches what you want. The ultimate in Player agency over control over their environment; such as also being able to send invitations, or approve applications for Villagers so that they can come and live on your island. and, depending on how ‘north or south’ your island is, the seasons may pass normally, seem to always be summer, or so on.

non-real-time option; this is likely a dream that would be divisive. Real-time has always been a staple of the series. a mechanic that always has been. Well, like what was done with Breath of The Wild, even the most fundamental core aspects of the series should be open to revision and review, to see if it really is the best possible option. What if sleeping in your Bed could actually pass time? what if you didn’t have to be caught in a cycle of only being able play for however long it takes you to find the ore & money rocks, the new buried objects, and such, before the majority of everything new in the world that day has been expended, leaving the chance for you to stale the remaining time you play by running through pre-treaded ground, or for you to simply skip time anyway and change the date to, for example, see if what you want in the store or such shows up. (the ability for the gameplay loop to avoid turning stale could also be avoided with any other number of changes that could be implemented) this is just a possibility worth keeping in mind. also, next, as a possible middle ground that could help branch the two different time options…

Live events; like how Splatoon has Splatfests, and Smash has select Spirit events, there could be special happenings that follow a Real-realtime structure. like, ‘all furniture you’ll find by shaking trees will match your favorite Color this week!’ or, ‘manta-ray migration! the Villagers are going to be celebrating this event as they would a holiday sometime this week’(perhaps on the first available in-game day you play that week, so that it isn’t restricted to only a 24 hour window that some people would be more likely to miss)

more Amiibo Villagers; this might fall under ‘more’, but wouldn’t it be amazing if a majority of the amiibo released had villagers associated with them? I for one, would love to have an Octopus Guardian Villager Friend.

better character creation; the game has partially approached this, with things like beak accessories, but, what if you could be an animal like the other Villagers? And, perhaps, if you opt-in to this, The game could eventually Generate an Npc version of your Animal based on various actions and interactions the game slowly gathers as you play. An Npc that could then be found by other Players in their Worlds. so that there is always a new face to meet… there is a lot of variables here, and naturally, it would need to be monitored to prevent those with unkind intent from tainting the world, but if the game could Generate new Villagers, rather than being limited to a set of pre-made Villagers that would seem to be a drop in the bucket by comparison… and for you to know that the character you’ve met, who is kind and friendly to some degree, was created based off of a Person in the real World who is not all that different from you? To have a Worldwide Community of People able to see that no matter who you are, or where you come from, that you can be kind? That we can learn to love eachother, both despite and because of our differences? …

I’m not going to say it could lead to World Peace, but I won’t say that it won’t lead to World Peace.

Sable; ‘oh Hello! How are you doing today? My sisters can help you if you wanted to buy something, but if you wanted to make something yourself, I could help you figure it out’

Years of countless Players sharing their Love and support for Sable has grown into a warm feeling she will always have with her in her Heart… She will Never doubt herself or her value as a person ever again… And if you still choose to talk to her every day, She will still want to be your Friend.

Permanence vs drifting; It is nice to work hard, and make something of the town you live in… Developing bonds with your Villagers… Till you know every bump, crack, and turn in it… till it becomes Home… But, more and more traveler elements have been introduced… Campers, and mobile homes. even the towns of other players accessed through your dreams. Perhaps you could explore the world, like the Villagers who visit your town are, ready to see who you might meet, and what you might see… and who knows… maybe one day, you’ll stop. You’ll look around. You’ll feel the cool air against your skin. You’ll see the sun start to set beyond the mountaintop. You’ll sit by the campfire, and see smiles on faces… and just maybe… After how long it has taken you to reach this moment… You might decide…

That you are, right now, exactly where you want to be…

That you’ve finally made it Home.

[ramblinganthropologist]

Early morning surprise

Summary: Alistair Shepard forgot again. Luckily, he has a great family to remind him. Happy Birthday. retired Commander Shepard.

Setting: Post ME3. Al is loving his retirement and his kids. 

---

Fuck, he did not want to get out of bed that morning.

“Oww…”

Alistair Shepard groaned as he opened his eyes and stared up at the ceiling. What was left of his left thigh ache and it felt like fire below what used to be his right elbow. Normally they acted up in the morning, but this was just insult to injury.

Slowly, he raised himself into a sitting position, back twinging a little from a sore muscle he needed to work out later. Outside his window it was a lovely spring day, or as lovely as the Citadel could make it seem like.  After all, they were kind of on a space station – seasons were out of the question.

In the back of his mind, he knew there was a reason he wasn’t up an hour earlier and limping out the door. But it didn’t come to him as he pulled himself out of bed and walked out of his bedroom. It wasn’t a Saturday – those he knew. But it was something…

“What the hell am I forgetting?”

Maybe he was finally getting old. Even though he was in his 40’s, technically he was like… 11. It was hard to count when he had technically died and came back. Most days Alistair liked to joke he was getting ready for middle school now, but that day it ran hollow. He was feeling every day of those years running around in armor and then some.

There was low levels of noise coming from the living room – sounded like people moving. While he no longer carried an Avenger, he still had the senses to know something was up. His artificial leg helped him crouch behind the wall so he could use his better eye to take a peek. At least his old boot camp instructors could die happy he hadn’t forgotten anything.

That is if they weren’t dead. 2185 wasn’t a great year for anyone.

“Does this look ok, Dad?”

“I think so.”

Garrus and their daughter Dania – his Danny girl – were hanging something up on the wall. On the other side of the room, their son Marc was in the process of scrutinizing a balloon someone much taller than he was had tacked to the wall. It was a violent shade of blue, so that put Danny in the running.

The boy must’ve felt his footsteps, because he turned. One gray eye and an electronic blue one turned to face him. Then both widened and he waved to get his family’s attention. His hands were soon moving in what had to be their sign – the jig was up, red dad was awake.

Red dad was very much awake and wondering what was going on.

“Go back in your room, Pops. We’re not done yet!” Danny nudged Marc towards him. Her hands moved as she spoke. “Keep an eye on him, big guy. The metal one. You know he’s sneaky.”

With his human escort, Alistair had no choice but to walk back to the room he shared with his husband, son on his heels. Marc even closed the door once he entered, signifying how seriously the young man was taking his duties. He was a Vakarian alright – duty and precision.

Hopefully in 15 years he wouldn’t pick a name as ridiculous as Archangel when he became a vigilante of justice. Alistair had raised him better than that.

“Guess you’re not going to tell me what’s up then?” Alistair asked as he watched his son for a sign. The boy shook his head, then stuck his hands in his pockets. “Well, then. That settles that.”

So, he sat back on the bed. Marc took a seat in his desk, short legs swinging with the distance between the chair and the floor. Both his large eyes were pinned squarely on his father, reminding the redhead of a cybernetic owl. He was a very cute cybernetic owl, mind you.

Ok, Alistair may have been a little biased there.

“Can I at least have a hint?” The hands said no, as did the enthusiastic shake of the boy's head that made his neck hurt just looking at it. Ah, to be  young and not pieced back together by modern medicine two separate times. “Darn. You're pretty good at this secret keeping thing, son.”

Being kept in the dark was worth it to see Marc smile like that. Alistair had to chuckle as he leaned back to wait for when he was all clear. Since he hadn't been all that awake to begin with when he had lumbered out of bed, his eyes felt heavy. Then they closed.

The next thing he knew, somebody was poking him in the side. It wasn’t a human finger – talon tipped and too bony. Wasn’t Garrus’ either – too small. That left only a few people it could be.

“Danny?”

“Wake up, Pops. We got something to show you.”

He cracked one eye open to check if he was within bumping range of his daughter. She cleared out of the way as he swung out of bed, yawning. He hadn’t meant to fall back asleep, but… well, he wasn’t 29 anymore?

That was his excuse anyway.

Danny chuckled as she watched him. “First human Spectre, huh?”

“You know I did shoot a Reaper in the face once.”

“Way Aunt Bo tells it, even you could’ve hit that one, Pops.”

Ok, yeah, true. But still, ouch. He was definitely going to need to talk to his sister about old war stories the next time he saw her. She could at least leave out his terrible aim a wee bit around the kids...

Unaware of his comically bruised ego, Danny chuckled and held out her hand. When Alistair took it, Danny pulled him forward. She had a spring in her step that made him pick up his pace, sore limbs and all. Her cheer was infectious in a way he didn’t mind catching.

And then she covered his eyes.

“Is this an ambush?” He asked, trying hard not to laugh. “Because if it is, I’m kind of biotic.”

“So are Marc and I, Pops.” Danny nudged him forward one more step. “Just keep walking.”

Last time he heard that, someone tried to shoot him in the head. Alistair didn’t miss that much. Still, he didn’t get the feeling someone had a rifle on him. So, he allowed himself to be led by the eager hands of his daughter. At least her long, quick strides worked out some tension in his leg.

They stopped in what he assumed was the living room. There was no noise anymore – someone had shut up. Dull anticipation built in the base of his stomach, but he didn’t fight it like he would have before in years past. Hooray for therapy.

Then Danny let go of his eyes.

“Happy Birthday!”

Oh… so that was what he forgot.

Alistair blinked back surprise as he looked around the room. His family had apparently been hard at work decorating for his birthday. Everything was the obnoxious shade of blue he loved so much, and someone had printed out cartoon hamsters in party hats. One even looked like his dear Saren, to the point it made his throat tight. He missed that little guy, but his successor Udina was handling things just fine back in his room.

Bo had a knack for naming animals.

“Were you surprised, Al?” Garrus was chuckling as he came up and gently kissed him on the forehead – much to the consternation of their children. “Oh, shh. I can do that, I’m married to him.”

Marc’s answer came a fraction before Danny’s did – we know.

“It’s not like you still act like newlyweds. Gross.” Danny stuck out her tongue. “Anyway, come on! There’s cake!”

Indeed – there was cake. Or rather two halves of two different cakes clearly marked for turian and human consumption so nobody wound up throwing up until Alistair’s next birthday. He got the one that smelled like food, which was alright by him.

Garrus had the not-food. “Is this the part where we sing?”

When he saw the look on his husband’s face, he held up his free talon. “Don’t blame me, Marc told me about it.”

The small human answered back, hands flying. Archangel sold me out.

That he did. Yet Alistair chuckled as he watched his family playfully argue with each other. Just watching them made his heart feel full and light at the same time. It was a paradox he had grown used to over the years, and one he wouldn't trade for the world.

“Less arguing, more cake.” was the final word from Danny as she grabbed a particularly large slice. After all, she was a growing girl. “Better hurry up before I eat it all, Dad.”

And so Garrus did hurry, scooping up cake as well as quick kiss to the top of his daughter's head. Alistair smiled as he watched the scene, once more feeling the sensation that he was glad to be alive. He doubted that feeling would ever change.

At least as long as nobody shoved his face in the cake. Man, he was glad that tradition had died out when he turned 30.

[countjason]

Jason’s 8th Annual Post/Pre-Year Review/Goal

Last year, I didn’t do this so is this 8 or is this one again?  Maybe’s it’s 7?  Idk…let’s assume it’s 8.

I forget why I didn’t do this since I’ve been pretty good over the course of the decade in both setting goals and reflecting, both good and bad on the outcome of those goals.  I couldn't give you an answer why 2018 was so different than the previous 6 years.  For good or bad, these entries are the only ones I do and maybe the last on Tumblr now that the platform may be dying due to porn.  Either way, I will reflect in the best I can given I didn’t set goals for 2018 and start anew with goals for 2019.

2018 Reflection

Work

2018 was hard.  It started strong with the new position at my new job as a scheduler.  I soon realized, however, I made an ill-made choice.  I can't say it was a "bad" decision because, at the time, I wasn't happy on what became of me being a configuration, change, release manager and the prospect of me being a project manager was slim with the ongoing fight between our contract prime and my company at the time.  The decision to leave seemed easy since my current company had a pay increase so, hey, follow the money right?

Well, six months in and I began to grow tired of the sheer boredom of the job.  Here I go from running a major project, flying to Germany to work with the customer, addressing changes and being active (though be it not what I wanted  to do) NOW basically perform statuses once a month and learning nothing new.  It’s almost to the point where I think I’m forgetting some skills like my SharePoint knowledge since they don’t use that tool at all and caught in their own ways (and anytime you try to change or show them a better way, you’re immediately dismissed).  

I can pinpoint the exact day that started the ongoing job hunt. It was not after I graduated - no, it in September 2018 when my company posted a position for a project manager and I immediately inquired to my boss for which I was told I don't have enough experience for the role.  Not enough experience?  How the heck am I supposed to get experience when I’m not mentored, spinning in my chair picking my nose half the month and told there’s nothing else I need to do or I’m not physically doing any aspect of the job to gain said experience you want in a project manager here?  Do you really think I would leave you hung out to dry or wouldn't know where to ask for help should I needed it (which was likely)? Are you so concerned with your company image that the slightest ignorance in any area is a death sentence?  Here I was familiar with the protocol the company did for financials, scheduling, and other areas that I learned over the course of nine months but because I wasn't an engineer, I was told they wanted to more likely recruit talent from a competitor and more engineering minded despite the fact all the previous PMs had little to no engineering experience at all.  Mind you this was after graduating with my master’s degree in Project Management, have more certifications that are gold standards for my line of work, and just having a background in previous project management type functions and keep in mind folks - a PM is not necessarily the subject matter expert, they are what keeps the project rolling so you really don’t need to know every aspect of a program, just who to talk to and where to look.  

They made me a “Deputy Program Manager” after this conversation but the bulk of my job has been the same as I started...  

It didn’t help they screwed over one of my only friends I barely made at my company and he quit. I’m horrible at making friends and I respected this guy because he was one of the few people that valued my input and didn’t treat me like a high-school intern (“ok children, today we’ll learn what a work breakdown structure is…”).  

Now to continue and conclude with the job topic because this horse is beat’in to death (Sorry, Not Sorry PETA), I will say that the outlook VERY recently is looking good. I have a few more interviews between a couple more companies and hopefully, I can land where my talent is useful.

School

I graduated college in 2018 the 3rd time.  

This time with a master’s degree in project management as I previously mentioned.  It was never my desire after graduating in 2011 to go back to school but in 2015, after watching Caitlin struggle with part-time work and full-time school, I wanted to set somewhat of an example in that you can work full-time work and school and get done with things.  Fast forward to 2018 and I’m done with that and Caitlin is still in school.  I am proud of this accomplishment since the 21-year-old Jason would have never believed I’d have a master’s degree.  

There's some internal vindication for all those Navy Officers that were "better than me since they were Officers" or Chief’s that said “leaving the Navy would be the worst decision I ever made” that I now have a higher education than over half of them a decade later.  They say revenge doesn't feel good – they are full a shit or I'm messed up.   I got to fly my parents to Maryland to witness the graduation in person so at least I know they got to see that.  I did enroll at Columbia Southern University in 2018 to work toward my DBA.  I finished all my prerequisite classes but had to put my school on hold due to the expense of Caitlin's school doubling on me. More on this in 2019 goals.  I’m looking to start that back up in the summer if all aligns properly.

Entertainment

If there’s one thing that I like to do these days is follow NASCAR.  I turned into my father but don’t hate it really.  Here’s me running at New Smyra Speedway this past past weekend.

Unfortunately, when it came to going to NASCAR races this year, we bet and lost on rain occurring in Atlanta (we ended up getting a cat named “Rain De’Lay” as a result and I watched the race happen on TV even though every weatherman said it was going to pour!) and Dad got sick this year and he couldn’t come to the Roval race we planned as well. We did plan the Bristol night race in 2019 so hopefully, I can have that.  Caitlin was a trooper for going to the Charlotte race with me which I know she didn’t overly like which was expected...

BUT…she did go camping and see the north which leads to later this month in us going to the Asheville area of North Carolina for Christmas vacation. If there’s one time in my life I want snow to happen it’s coming up here soon.

Also in entertainment, we had mini-adventures that’s needed – I went to St. Augustine overnight hunting ghosts (or talking to a lamp) at the British Pub’s upstairs apartment.  

Worth noting but technically out-of-bounds for this topic is Caitlin and I went to New Orleans LATE December 2017 (so almost 2018). I also rode in a boat during the Gasperilla festival which is a whole new level of experience.  I am curious to know how many water balloons we will have this year?

We went to Daytona several times this year including our annual family stay at the timeshare and mini-getaways as recent as last week.  We also explored Washington DC and Baltimore during my graduation trip.

Okay – now planning/goals out 2019…

Get a new job – This one is important since 90% of my waking existence is at a job.  If I’m not happy there, it’s too my core and I’m not happy in general.  I wish I was better in this area since Caitlin works in the funeral business and has a better appreciation toward the little things but it’s still a thing since it is 90% of my waking life and I’ve worked since I was 16 yrs old.   I would obviously like to get paid what I feel I’m deserved too – not just get a job to get away from another job.  

Vacations – I have a cruise planned in May which is almost paid for and I would like to eventually go to Las Vegas.  I wouldn’t want to go to Vegas without a little money in my pocket, but we’ll see.  I also have the Bristol night race in August which represents the final bucket list race I could want to do with my Dad.  Does that mean I’m done after Bristol? Probably not but I could certainly wish my Dad off should he die knowing I got him there, Talledega, Daytona, Homestead, and Atlanta.

School – I got a long way to go for a DBA but I’d like to get the main classes started in 2019.  I gotta wait until money isn't so tight or there are options like tuition assistance but I'd like to get started in that.

Find more friends – A lot of my friends 8 years ago I don't really relate to now.  I'm simply not the same person. Those people, in most cases, are the EXACT same people and we don't relate.  Going back to 90% of my day with work, I need to find work friends but certainly not at my current job where everyone I work with me is 20 years older than me or are unsociable.  I mean it can't get any worse than now where I have a co-worker literally 5 feet behind me and insist to communicate primarily through email.  Even if it's not "work" friends, I need friends that have the same goals, likes, and what not.  That's why I like people like Eric or James– they have ambition in areas I like today. I still need to find a NASCAR buddy too but that’s surprisingly hard.

Health – Anyone that says getting older doesn’t suck can blow me.  I know less than 5 years ago, I could run in the morning and had gym buddies which motivated me.  Granted I was walking around like I was crippled half the time afterward, but it was fun.  I really don't have that same motivation these days.  I still go to the gym periodically but not as I used too.  I joke about my fat head so maybe in 2019, I'll find that extra gas in the tank and while I've accepted not being 180 lbs again, maybe just looking better which will make me feel better as well.  

Financially working in the right direction – To get my house, I had to use retirement money.  To fix the carpet that got destroyed in Caitlin’s library, I had to use more.  I have quite a bit of old debt and new debt that is higher than I like but there’s always been this assumption that I’m just waiting for the right job to pay me what I deserve, AND Caitlin will finally pull her weight since I support her. Once one or both those things happen, we will be able to work off that debt and maybe see the chances of retirement….eventually.  

Potentially Move? – Given the job prospects, I’ve been looking at opportunities to leave Florida. I am so over “hot, humid, high of 100” every-freakin-day.  Part of the upcoming North Carolina trip is to expose Caitlin to the cold. If she tolerates it, the option to move up north is more present. I mean hell, our house is an igloo anyway.  Even still talking about moving north, moving east in Florida has the same possibilities. I know 2019 may be too soon given the dependency I have with Caitlin but given the right situation, it’s entirely possible.  

Help Caitlin – I could jokingly say “well this is a huge project” but I don’t mean it like that.  She’s been fighting her demons and I’ve been helping.  I would also foresee myself assisting in her passing her classes and exams she needs to take but that’s really all on her and if she asks for it. In all, I just hope to continue to be a good(ish) role-model and help when I can.

Iracing – 2 more to 10…geez, we’re hitting the bottom of the barrel now.  This is just a hobby, be it an expensive hobby I built up, but I hope to continue doing well in the game and not get bored with it lol.  It’s just too expensive to not.

House Upgrades – I would like to upgrade the floors in the man cave and the bedroom in 2019.  This is a lot of work and shifting of things since I have the master bed which is huge in one room and the racing rig and desk in the other.  I have the supplies sitting in the corner collecting dust waiting to be done, but I would need to shift so much around to do it, I’ve told myself it can only be done if we move.  We’ll see, not putting a lot of hope in this one but it’s number 10 on the list.

Well that’s 2019′s plans for you and some reflection on 2018.  Talk to you next year Jason (and anyone else that reads my rhetoric). 

[daniactuallysnuffledthatpopcorn]

Painting Flowers (Chapter 6)

[A/N] My camp Nano project from April 2014. Heavily edited.

Summary: Dan has come to accept that his psychotic episodes and hallucinations are here to stay, when he meets Phil Lester. Although Phil can’t fix Dan, he does give him something to fight for. Something to try for, one last time.

WARNINGS: Mentions of self harm and suicide. Deals with mental illness, hallucinations and psychotic episodes.

Word count: 2.1K (16.4K total)

<-previous chapter -- next chapter->

Start at the beginning

When Dan got home from school three weeks later and walked into his room he found his mother standing in the doorway of his bathroom. He couldn’t see what she was holding in her hand at first, but when he stepped closer she raised the object a bit and he recognised it; that was his box of blades. “I can explain.” He said before he realised that he really couldn’t.

“Try me.” His mum said. She pointed at the bed and sat down herself.

Dan was quiet. He didn’t sit down, but he stayed near the door, as if he was planning on running away. She wouldn’t let him get away with this, he knew that. He wasn’t really going try to flee, even though he would love to do just that.

“Where?” She asked him quietly after about a minute.

Dan slowly rolled up his sleeves and turned his wrists away from himself for his mum to see. He was standing quite far away, but she didn’t ask him to come closer. She nodded slowly. “I expect you at the backdoor in ten minutes. No excuses.”

“Where are we going?”

“We’re going to see Michelle.”

Dan groaned. He knew Michelle would give him hell over this. Well, not actually verbally, she was always careful with her words around him, but her facial expressions would say enough. They always did.

He watched his mother leave the room with his box in her hands and he didn’t turn away from the door until he could no longer see her. He then closed the door and dumped his backpack next to his desk. He still had his sleeves rolled up and he looked at the endless number of red lines covering the skin on the inside of his arms. They had caused him enough shit already, and all that was about to get worse.

The Captain chose that moment to walk out of the bathroom and gesture back to that room, “Someone took your blades.”

Dan didn’t hesitate to grab a book from his desk and launch it at the cat. “I am not in for any of your bullshit right now.” He announced. “Where is Oasis?”

“Anywhere you want her to be. She’s in your head, remember?” He walked towards the door and disappeared as soon as the tip of his nose touched it.

Dan ran a hand through his dark hair and pulled his sleeves back down. They were going to ask him to take medication again, and he would tell them he didn’t want them again. He knew the drill. This time they would probably not let him get away with it that easily; there were the cuts on his arms now to prove to them that he really needed the meds. He sprayed on some deodorant and grabbed his phone. ‘Back to the hospital’, he messaged Phil.

The reply came two minutes later, when Dan was on his way down on the lift.

‘What for?’

‘Long story short, I did some things to myself that I regret and my mum found out.’

‘Self harm?’

‘Exactly. My psychiatrist will ask me about medication and I will decline and that will probably be it. Don’t think it’ll get in the way of our pizza appointment tomorrow night’

‘If it does I can always come over to bring you pizza at the hospital’

Dan walked over to the Staff area, waved at Callum and the interns and sat down on a chair by the backdoor.

‘Sounds great. I hate hospitals, pizza with you would certainly make it better.’

He heard the door at the end of the hall open, indicating that his mum had walked in, and he got up from his chair.

‘Message me what’s happening, alright? Don’t get me worried again ;)’

‘I’ll try to. We’re leaving now but if they feel like restraining me or whatever I’ll message you first..’

His mum opened the backdoor of their SUV for him and he climbed in the backseat. The fact that she didn’t have him sit next to her said enough; she was very upset with him. She probably wasn’t angry, but she was definitely disappointed in him, which was arguably even worse.

They drove in silence and Dan counted down the minutes till they reached the hospital.

“Are you alright?” His mum asked him when he got out of the car.

At least she was concerned about him. Maybe things were going to turn out alright after all.

The huge white hall they stepped into didn’t faze Dan anymore. He’d been here so many times that he didn’t even flinch when he saw the people with their little cards rolling after them and the IVs going into their hands and arms.

As his mum spoke to one of the people behind the information desk Dan leaned on the counter and looked around. He liked the little store in the back of the hall a lot, next to the cafeteria. That was were they sold the magazines, stuffed animals and colourful balloons. When he was younger his mum would take him there and let him pick something every time they came here, but she hadn’t done that in years. He didn’t miss the things he would pick out, but he definitely missed the experience of going in there and having this entire paradise of toys and magazines to choose from. They were mostly kids’ things and flowers, but Dan would still love to go there and buy something again sometime.

He didn’t get time to bring it up, as his mum nudged his arm and took him upstairs. Dan knew where Michelle’s office was by now: she’d been his psychiatrist for about two years. Before that he’d had a psychiatrist called Dale, but he’d retired. Dan had only been a little upset by that; he didn’t like Dale that much. The only reason he was annoyed by it was that he would have to get used to a new psychiatrist and he hadn’t looked forward to the change.

“Come in.” Dan sighed when he heard Michelle’s voice coming from the other side of the door. The anticipated talk was coming closer and closer now.

His mum opened the door and gave him a soft push to make him start walking. “Hi.” He mumbled, not making eye contact with Michelle.

“Hello Dan. How have you been since the last time I saw you?”

“Fine.” Dan shrugged.

“Your mother told me something on the phone which I was sad to hear about. Do you know what I’m talking about?”

Dan shot an uneasy glance in the direction of his mum, who was still standing in the doorway.

Michelle looked over too and gave his mother a polite look, “Maybe it’s better if you wait outside, Karen. I’ll handle it in here, is that alright?”

His mum nodded, “Yes, of course it is.” She left the room and closed the door behind him. Michelle turned back to Dan as soon as the door had closed completely. “Do you know what your mother told me about?”

“About the box of blades, I assume.” Dan was careful not to use the terms ‘cutting’ or ‘self harm’.

“Indeed. Can you tell me, in your own words, why those were in your bathroom?”

“I think you know why.” Dan replied.

“I want to hear why from you, Dan. I don’t want to just assume.”

Dan rolled up his sleeves and places his arms on the desk. As if it made some kind of strange statement. Michelle didn’t seem shocked though, so apparently his attempt had failed.

“You use those blades to hurt yourself?”

“Yes.”

“Can you tell me why?”

“No.”

“Do you not know why you do this?”

Dan shrugged again, “I have to, every now and again.”

She nodded sympathetically, “I see. Can you tell me more?”

“I can only take so much negativity before I have to let it all bleed out.” Dan said.

“Right. And where does all this negativity come from, you think?”

“School, The Captain, sometimes Oasis, my own thoughts, basically everything.”

“I understand. But I heard from your mother that a new source of positivity has come into your life recently, is that true?”

Dan immediately broke into a smile, “Yes.”

“Can you tell me about this?”

“I met Phil at my favourite bookstore. He bought me a book and we went out for drinks. Then we texted a lot and he came by the day I was released from the hospital and we listened to music together. Then the past three weeks we have been texting a lot again and we went on, like, dates, I think, a few times. It was fantastic.”

Michelle smiled, “Does Phil know why you were in the hospital three weeks ago?”

“Yeah,” Dan nodded, “I texted him during, you know, my episode, and I told him about my schizophrenia. He knows I’m here right now.”

“That’s good, Dan, that’s very good. I can tell that you really like him. Does he know about what you did with those blades?”

“He does now. I messaged him just before I came here to tell him I was going to the hospital and he asked why, so I told him about it.”

“How did he react?” Michelle asked.

“He didn’t seem fazed, to be honest. About the same reaction I got when I told him I’m schizophrenic. He just doesn’t seem to think that any of this has to get in the way of, like, us, I guess.”

She nodded and put her hands together on the desk in front of her, leaning in a bit, “Now Dan, I think you’re expecting this question already, but have you thought about taking medication again?”

“I have thought about it, but I don’t want them.”

“Are you completely sure? You can always give me a call if you change your mind, you know that right?”

“Yeah, I know.” Dan said.

Michelle nodded. “Alright. I’m going to give you an alternative for the blades, okay?”

“Okay.”

She opened a drawer and handed Dan a handful of rubber bands. “You can wear them around your wrists, and when you feel like hurting yourself you can snap them against your wrist.”

“My mum isn’t giving back my blades, is she?” Dan asked as he took the rubber bands and shoved them in the pocket of his jacket.

“No.” Michelle confirmed. “We’re going to try to help you stop hurting yourself together, okay?”

And Dan just shrugged.

 After his conversation with Michelle, his mum got called into her office and Dan was the one who had to wait outside for a bit. He walked out of the mental ward and into one of the halls with the regular patients. He peeked into each room as he walked past them and heard a few words from some conversations. Over the years Dan had realised that people in hospitals either spoke a lot about why they were in the hospital, or they tried to avoid that subject at all costs.

At the end of the hall Dan got out his phone and checked his messages. Phil had messaged him about half an hour ago.

‘Everything okay there?’

Dan hesitated for a second, but then tapped the call button and put the phone to his ear. He quickly walked over to an empty waiting area so that he wouldn’t disturb anyone and he sat down in one of the squeaky plastic chairs just in time to hear Phil pick up.

“Phil.”

“Hi Phil, it’s Dan.”

“Hey Dan, is something wrong?”

“Nope, everything is fine. But my mum is in the office with my psychiatrist right now, so I don’t have anything to do.”

“I appreciate that you thought of me in this moment of boredom.” Dan laughed, “You were the first person on my mind.” He confirmed.

 A few minutes into their call, Dan’s phone vibrated to indicate that he’d received a text.

“Was that an earthquake? I had a heart attack.” Phil commented.

“No, I got a text.” Dan laughed. He pulled the phone away from his ear and checked his texts. It was from his mother.

‘Where are you love?’

‘Some waiting room. I’ll come down to the cafeteria.’ Dan texted back, and put the phone back to his ear. “Done.” He announced.

“Who was it?”

“My mum. She’s done talking so I’m now going downstairs to meet up with her.”

“Hang up the phone.” The Captain seemed to appear out of nowhere.

Dan didn’t get time to argue, so he quickly said goodbye to Phil and hung up the phone. “What do you want?” He whispered.

“I want you to look at your arms. You can’t stop, you need it, remember?”

“I’m not up for that right now.” Dan replied. And for the first time in his life he started walking faster and he completely ignored The Captain while the latter was throwing a tantrum.

[nothesc]

can you maybe write sana and the balloon squad going camping together? and yousef/sana being madly in love but not telling each other? and yousef trying to impress sana so when for example she's listening to her favourite song by tupac, yousef starts to rap along knowing all the words and is like damn this is my fave song, you know it too? and also a bit of mikadam wouldnt hurt

Hiii!

Thank you so much for the prompt!

I hope you don’t mind that I added more couples to it!

I hope I don’t disappoint you and that you like it!!

Also I’m sorry if this is too long, I got really carried away

—————x——————-

“We’re here!!” Eva yelled as she got out of the bus.

After atwo hours trip they had finally arrived to the cabins.

Sana, Vilde, Noora, Chris, Eva along withYousef, Elias, Mutta, Adam and Mikael had agreed to spend the last weekendbefore the girls had to go back to class at a camping in the countryside. Sincethey were so many people, instead of tents they had decided to rent two cabins,one for the boys and one for the girls. It was Saturday morning when theyarrived and, even though they had to leave the following day they were allexcited about this trip.

“Ahh I’m so excited for this, it’s going to beepic!!” Vildesquealed as she hugged Sana who hugged her back with a smile

“So, what should we do first?” Adam asked

“We should probably leave the stuff in thecabins and then we can decide” Noora said

“Always so efficient” Elias teased her “Okayboys, the one on the left is ours”

He started to walk towards the cabin with theboys following behind him

“We’ll meet you here in half an hour” he told the girls before enteringthe cabin

 -x-

“Wow, this is such a nice cabin” Vilde said once inside their cabin

“Wait until you see the lake” Sana, who had been there before,said

“I’m liking the idea of the lake” Chris said

“That’s because you want to see Muttashirtless” Evateased her

“And I’m not denying it” Chris winked at her making all thegirls laugh

“So what about you Sana Bakkoush, will this beTHE trip for you and you know who?” Noora asked raising an eyebrow at her

“I don’t know what you’re talking about” Sana said shrugging

“Oh come on Sana, you two have been talkingduring the whole way here” Eva said

“Are you finally going to tell Yousef you likehim?” Vildeasked excited

“That’s the thing though” Noora explained “Theyboth know they like each other, they’re just too shy to do something about it”

“Says the girls who’s been making eyes at mybrother for a month now” Sana said smirking

“I have not”

All the girls stared at Noora with theireyebrows raised

“Whatever, we should get ready” Noora said rolling her eyes

-x-

Half an hour later they were all enjoyingthemselves down by the lake. Vilde and Eva were taking some pictures for theirinstagram accounts, Mikael and Mutta were doing some back flips while Adamfilmed it and Chris cheered them. Elias and Noora were by the shore, hethreatening her to throw her in the water and her acting like she was offendingwhen she was clearly enjoying the situation too much.

Sana sat on the grass a few meters from themobserving all of them with a smile on her face.

“Can I sit?”

She looked up protecting her eyes from the sunwith her hand. Yousef was standing there, hands in his pockets, smiling.

“Of course” she said nodding

He sat down next to her leaving enough spacebetween them for her to be comfortable.

“Are you enjoying yourself?” he asked

“I actually am” she said looking at him “You?”

“I am now” he answered biting his lip

Sana smiled at him and blushed slightly. Shelooked at her brother and her friend down by the shore.

“How long till they finally admit that theylike each other?”Sana asked

“I’d say that they’re going to end up togetherthis weekend, but again, both of them are so stubborn” Yousef said

“Yeah, like it’s clear they like each other”

“Exactly, why don’t they just stop walking incircles and start dating?”

“Yeah…”

She looked at him, he already had his eyes onher. They both pressed their lips together and burst into laughs. They clearlyweren’t the most indicated to talk about not admitting feelings and they bothwere aware of that.

“Wanna take a walk and explore the place?” he asked as he stood up and offeredher his hand

“Thought you’d never ask” she said taking his hand andstanding up

 -x-

“You really know your way through this place” Yousef said impressed as they hadbeen walking for awhile

“Yeah, we used to come here as kids. I nevergot this far through the woods though”

“You used to come here?” Yousef asked

“The cabin where you’re staying used to be oursactually” Sanasaid as she stopped walking to face him

“Really?”

“Yeah, we used to come here every summer butthen we had to sell it and the ones that own the cabin where we’re stayingbought it. They’re friends of my parents”

“Wow, I didn’t know that”

“I actually haven’t been in that cabin since Iwas like 12 or something”

“Why aren’t you guys sleeping there then?”

“Elias got dibs” she said shrugging “Youwant to know a secret?”

“Of course”

“Every time we stayed there I always slept inthe room that is in the attic because I loved the views”

“That’s where I’m staying!” Yousef exclaimed

“Really?”

“Yeah, I can’t say no to an attic”

Sana smiled, it felt good knowing that they hadone more thing in common.

“So, what’s the secret?”

“Oh, yeah, my parents used to measure my heightin the door frame and when I found out we were selling the cabin I wanted totake the frame with me” she laughed a little bit embarrassed “You should’ve seen me cryingbecause I couldn’t understand that I can’t take a door frame with me”

“Aww, I’m sure you were such a cute littlegirl”

“Yeah, but don’t tell anyone” she said pointing at him

“My lips are sealed” he promised placing his hand on hisheart

Sana shook her head and laughed. They restartedtheir walk only stopping when they got to a place full of flowers

“Wow…this is…” Yousef started

“It’s so beautiful…It’s like that film…”

“Avatar”

And in fact it looked like a scene taken out ofthat film. In front of them there were hundreds of blue and purple and pinkflowers surrounded by trees.

Yousef took a few steps into the glade and bentdown to take some flowers. He then turned around and offered them to Sana.

“They’re not bluebells but I hope it’s enough” he said shrugging with smile

“They’re perfect, thank you” she said taking them and smilingfondly at him

 -x-

“Stop it, stop it Elias!” Noora said laughing as Elias keptsplashing water to her

“Huh? Are you saying something? I can’t hearyou over the sound of the water”

“Fine!” She said as she imitated his moves and startedto throw water at him too

“Hey! That’s cheating”

Elias walked over to her and took her hands onhis trying to stop her but instead they both lost balance and fell into thewater with their clothes on.

“I can’t believe you did that!” Noora told him as she felt herclothes being soaked

“Me? You’re the one who made me fall” he said

“Whatever” she rolled her eyes and started to swim awayfrom him

“Wait”

He followed her worried that she might beangry.

“Hey Noora wait, I’m sorry” he said placing his hand on hershoulder to stop her

Noora turned around with a smirk on her faceand before Elias could react she placed her hands on his shoulders and pushedhim down to the water.

“Oh game on” Elias said once he came back to the surface

He swam over to Noora and took her by thewaist, lifting her over his shoulder upside down. He then started to walkfurther into the lake.

“No, no, no don’t you dare Elias”

“You started it” he said

“Fine but if I’m going down you’re going downwith me” shesaid as she wrapped her arms around his waist

“Okay, I have nothing to lose” Elias said shrugging

He took a deep breath and went underwatertaking Noora with him. They were both laughing once they came to the surface.

“Thank you” Noora said between laughs

“For what?” Elias asked confused

“For making me laugh, it’s been awhile and youalways find a way to make me laugh”

“Noora, you deserve to be happy, you deservesomeone who treats you right and who makes you smile”

“Someone like you?” she asked raising her eyebrows

“Well…yeah” he said biting his lip

Noora blinked several times trying to processhis words, she wasn’t expecting him to actually admit it. She bit her lip asshe got closer to him. She looked straight into his eyes and leaned in for akiss wrapping her arms around his neck. Elias reacted right away and placed hishands on her waist bringing her closer.

“Woooohooo!!” they heard someone saying.

They pulled apart and looked at the shore.Vilde and Eva were dancing and jumping while Mutta, Chris, Mikael and Adam wereclapping

 -x-

“About time guys!!!” Mutta exclaimed before turning backto Adam, Mikael and Chris.

“Yeah, talking about couples that finally gettogether…”Chris giving him her flirting look™

Mutta looked back at her confused. He didn’tknow what she was trying to tell him. He liked Chris, he had liked her sincethe first time they met but now he wasn’t sure if she was trying to tell himthat she liked him back or if she was angry about something.

“I don’t…I don’t really know what you…” he stuttered making Adam andMikael, who were watching the scene, laugh

Chris rolled her eyes, it was clear that wordsweren’t going to work with the boy, she needed actions. She grabbed him by thecollar of his shirt and pulled him in for a kiss.

“Wow…” Mutta whispered once they pulled apart “Doesthis mean that you like me?”

Chris tilted her head and glared at him, howslow could this boy be?

“Yes, I like you…do you like me?” she asked getting self-conscious suddenly

“Of course, of course I like you, have you seenyou?” Muttasaid like it was the most obvious thing in the world “You’re like perfect!”

Chris smiled feeling her heart making a backflip like the ones Mikael and Mutta had been doing a few minutes ago. She mayact like she was the most confident girl in the world but when it came to realfeelings, like the ones she had for Mutta, she could became the most shy personin the world.

“Can I kiss you again?” Mutta asked blushing

“You don’t have to ask”

 -x-

“I’m telling you, I’m the best rapper of thesquad” Yousefsaid as they reached the cabins

“Prove it” Sana challenged him

“What? Like right now?”

“Prove it”

“Fine…uhm…I don’t quite remember how it started but…” he took a deep breath before hestarted singing “You gotta be able to smile through all this bullshit. Remember that.Mmm, yeah. Keep ya head up. Yeah.”

Sana wasalready laughing, he looked so focused on the song.

“Shh, I’m trying to concentrate” he said before continuing “Our lifestyles be close captionedaddicted to fatal attractions, pictures of actions be played back in the midstof…the midst of… mashin?”

“Yeah, it’s mashin’” Sana laughed “Best rapper of the squad huh?”

“I know the lyrics, I just can’t concentrate with you laughing at me”“Andwhy do you think I’m laughing?” Sana said

“Wow, thanks, okay fine…I’ll see you…here I am trying to impress youwith your favorite rapper and you treat me this way…cool Sana, just cool” he said as he took a few stepsbackwards towards

“Aw you were trying to impress me?”

“Don’t aww at me” he said pointing at her “I get awkward”

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry” she said raising her hands

Hesquinted at her but then he laughed.

“See you later Sana”

“See you later Tupac”-x-

Thegirls were sitting the couches when Sana entered the cabin. They were alltalking about something very excited.

“What is going on here?” Sana asked

“Omg Sana! Where were you?! You’ve missed it!” Vilde said excited

Sanafrowned and sat next to Chris.

“I was going for a walk with Yousef” Sana explained

“You too?! Everyone is getting together!” Eva exclaimed

“What? I’m not with Yousef…wait, what do you mean everyone is gettingtogether? What happened?”

“Noora kissed Elias!” Vilde said

“And Chris kissed Mutta”

Sanawidened her eyes and looked from one girl to another

“You are with my brother?!” she asked Noora first

“Well…yeah…kind of…I mean we kissed and then we held hands and he’s sosweet and…”

“Oh my god yes, finally!!” Sana stood up and hugged her friend, then sheturned to look at Chris “And you, you go girl! Mutta is such a greatguy! I’m so happy for you”

Thistime she went back to her place and hugged Chris

“What can I say? The boy couldn’t resist the temptation” Chris said winking at her

“Okay so what about you and Yousef?” Noora asked

“Nothing, we just went for a walk, that’s all.”

“Oh come on Sana! When are you going to take the final step”

“It’s not that easy…I just I get super awkward when I’m around him” Sana said

“You? You get super awkward? Have you seen him around you?” Noora laughed

“Hey, he’s not awkward he’s…cute” Sana said biting her lip

“Aw, everyone is finding their someone special except me” Vilde said with a sad face

“Don’t worry Vilde, we don’t need a man” Eva said placing her arm around her

Sanalooked at them and smirked, there was so much truth in those words.

 -x-

The sunhad already set and they had already had dinner. Now they were all sittingaround a campfire. The boys had spent 15 minutes trying to light up the flame,eventually Sana was the one that managed to make it work.

“Let’s play a game!” Vilde suggested “Let’s play Never have I ever”

“Vilde, we don’t drink” Elias said

“Me neither” Noora added

“And you know I don’t either” Sana said

“Well, you don’t have to drink drink, you can drink juice or water orsomething, the rest of us will drink. Come on it’s just for the fun” Vilde insisted

“Okay, fine, guys?” Sana asked the boys

“Game on”Elias said

“Everyone knows the rules right? Someone says never have I ever and saysomething and if any of you have done that you have to take a sip from yourdrink” Evaexplained just in case

“Let’s play, let’s play!” Vilde said excited

“I’ll start…never have I ever…cheated on an exam” Noora said

Everyoneexcept Yousef and Sana, who were sitting next to each other, drank.

“Oh boring!” Elias shouted at them

“Smart, not boring” Sana corrected him

“Okay my turn” Eva said “Never have I ever…been in love with my best friend’s sister”

Evalooked straight at Yousef while she said it, she really was rooting for him andSana and well, it was kind of fun too.

Yousefchuckled and shook his head. He looked at Sana who was looking at himexpectantly. He hit his cup against Sana’s and took a sip while looking at herfrom the corner of his eyes. Sana bit her lip and blushed looking at the floor.

“Never have I ever…” Adam started “been in love with my brother’s best friend”

Sanaglared at him, were they all trying to set them up or what?

Thistime Sana was the one that hit her cup against Yousef’s before taking a sip ashe grinned at her.

“Never have I ever liked someone from here” Elias said looking straight atNoora who was sitting in front of him

Everyonedrank laugh and drank for their cups.

“Wait, who do you like?” Eva asked Vilde

“And you?”  Vilde asked her

Sana,who was hearing their conversation took it as an opportunity to talk, maybe itwas her time to push them together

“Never have I ever…” she started “been in love with my best friend”

Theywere all expecting Vilde or Eva to drink, instead, it was Mikael the one whotook a sip from his cup.

“Wait, who?” Chris asked

“Isn’t it obvious? It was Even right?” Vilde asked

As issomeone had called him, Adam stood up instantly catching everyone’s attention.

“I’m not feeling really good, I think I may have eaten too much,  I’m just going to go back inside” he said

“Wait, want me to go with you?” Mikael offered

“No” hesimply said and left

After anawkward silence the game continued.

EventuallyNoora and Elias left to take a walk together and so did Chris and Mutta afterawhile. Only Mikael, who had been extremely quiet since Adam left, Sana,Yousef, Vilde and Eva were left. The two latter were now pretty drunk, dancingand sporadically kissing.

Sanaobserved them as Yousef looked at his friend.

It wasgetting cold and Sana hadn’t thought of bringing a jacket so she started toshiver.

“Are you cold?” Yousef asked her once he noticed

“Yeah, kind of…but it’s fine”

“Here”he said taking his jacket off

“No, no Yousef, you’ll get sick”

“I’ll be fine, seriously, take it”

Heplaced it around her shoulders and rubbed her arms a little bit trying to makeher feel warmer.

“Thanks” she said with a smile

“Hey Sana, can I ask you something about Vilde and Eva?” Yousef asked

“You’re going to ask me if they’re together?”

“Well…yeah”

“Ahh, I wish they were” she sighed “They clearly have a crush on each other, actually I’m pretty sure it’smore than a crush. They’re perfect for each other but they’re too scared toadmit their feelings and…come out”

“Yeah…I get what you mean” he said looking at Mikael

“Adam and him?” she asked

Youseflooked at her and nodded

“We know there’s something between them but I don’t even know if theyknow what that is”

“Guys, I think I’m going to sleep” Mikael said as he stood up

Sana andYousef nodded and watched him leave.

“It’s so frustrating…I want them to be happy but I can’t really doanything about it, you know?” Yousef said

“I know, it’s the same with me and Vilde and Eva”

Yousefnodded and looked at the fire. Then he remembered something

“Come with me, I need to show you something” he said standing up

“Okay?”

 -x-

Mikaelkept turning in his bed, unable to sleep. He shouldn’t have drunk from thatstupid cup when Sana made that stupid question. He was just trying to be trueto himself and all he had managed was to make Adam leave. He opened his eyesand looked at the ceiling, it was too dark to see anything but there were somefluorescent stars stickers there that were slightly shining. He was focusing onthem when he heard a knock on the door.

“Are you awake? It’s me, Adam”

Mikael’sheart skipped a beat when he heard his voice. He sat on the bed and took a deepbreath.

“Come in”he said

He heardthe door opening and a steps getting closer.

Adamstood next to Mikael’s bed, he couldn’t really see him but he knew he wassitting.

“I can’t sleep…mind if I join you? It always makes me calmer” Adam said kind of embarrassed

Mikaelnodded, then he realized that Adam couldn’t see him so he mumbled a yes andmade space for Adam in the bed.

Adamclimbed in and lay down on the left side of the bed. Mikael lay next to him. Theyboth were facing the ceiling.

“Those stars…was this Sana’s bedroom?” Adam asked

“Probably…” Mikael said

Thenthey both laughed and said at the same time

“Definitely Elias’”

Adammoved closer to Mikael, their arms brushing.

“I’m sorry I left like that” Adam whispered

“Why did you?”

“I was…I am scared”

“Scared of what?” Mikael asked confused

“Mikael…now that Even is back in the squad…I’m scared you and I…Imean…you two were the best of friends, the closest ones, you were alwaystogether. After he left you and me got closer and now that he’s back…I’m afraidI’m going to be replaced”

“Adam…Even and I were best friends and eventually we’ll probably be thatagain…but you , you’re different, you’re special”

Adam puthis arm around Mikael’s shoulder bringing him close. Mikael rested his hand onAdam’s chest and buried his face on his neck

“That question…Sana’s question…” Adam said hesitantly “I should’ve drunk…because I amin love with my best friend”

He feltMikael chuckle against his neck

“Good, ‘cause I am too” Mikael whispered in his ear pressing a soft kiss on his jaw.

Adamsighed in relief and hugged Mikael tighter, kissing the top of his head beforeresting his chin there.

-x-

“Eva,I think I’m super drunk” Vilde said as she laid on the grass next toEva.

“I’m drunk too” Eva laughed

Vildeturned to face her and so did Eva. The blonde smiled and leaned in to kiss herfriend like she had done so many times.

“Why does it feel nicer when I kiss you than when I kiss boys?” Vilde wondered

“Because I’m a super good kisser” Eva joked

“Eva…I’m serious…or I’m trying to be serious”

“Vilde…I don’t really know” Eva whispered as she brushed Vilde’s hair ofher face “All I know is that I feel so good when I’m with you and I don’t wantit to change”

“And what if it changed for the better?” Vilde asked

“You really think so?”

“I don’t know…maybe I’m just too drunk…”

“Maybe…”

“Or maybe not…”

“Come here” Eva said as she wrapped her arm around Vilde bringing her close “Idon’t want to ruin our friendship”

“Me neither” Vilde said

“You’re the prettiest girl I know, you know that?” Eva said “And not only on the outside”

“I love you Eva” Vilde said as she planted a kiss on Eva’s lips.

“And I love you Vilde”

“Someday?”Vilde asked

“Someday”Eva agreed

 -x-

“Wow, this certainly has changed” Sana said as they entered the guys’ cabin

“Yeah, but not everything is changed, come with me” Yousef said as he guided herupstairs until they reached the attic “Ready to see your old bedroom?”

“Yes”Sana nodded

Yousefopened the door and turned the lights on. Sana looked around, everything waschanged. The walls were painted in a different color, the furniture wasdefinitely new, even the curtains were different. She couldn’t help but feelingdisappointed

“Everything’s changed” Sana sighed

“Again, not everything”  Yousef said with a smile as heleaned against the door “Look here”

Sanafrowned at him but approached him. He pointed with his finger at the doorframe. It took Sana a moment to realize what he was showing her.

“As soon as I came back from our walk I checked it, they’re still hereSana, the evolution of your height along the years” he said smiling “I have to say that you werequite a short girl”

“Shut up”she said slapping him in the arm playfully

“Let’s see how much you’ve grown up”

“Huh?”

Heshowed her a pencil he had on his hand and raised an eyebrow at her

“You want to measure me?”

“Why not?”

She bither lip and thought about it for a moment.

“Okay, let’s do it”

Shestood against the door frame as he approached her. He leaned in and draw a lineon the wood right above her head. Sana looked up at him, his face was only afew inches apart from her. Once the mark was made Yousef looked down at Sanaand saw her staring back at him. He wetted his lips and swallowed

“Sana”he whispered “Can I ask you something?”

She justnodded

“That question…about being in love with your brother’s friend…who didyou mean? And please don’t say Stephen Curry”

“You really need to ask?”

“I want to hear it from you”

“It was you, Yousef” she said biting her lip “I’m in love with you”

Yousef’sface lit up with her words.

“I’d ask you who did you mean when you drank but I don’t think Mutta,Adam or Mikael have a sister…” she said playfully

“I’m in love with you” he simply said

“Good”she said smiling widely

“Now what?” he asked

“Now…how about we take our own advice and take a step forward?” she said reaching his hand andintertwining their fingers

“You mean I can take you out on a date?” he squeezed her hand slightly

“I mean you better take me out on a date”

 -x-

It wastime to leave.

They werewaiting for the bus to arrive, their stuff already packed. Sana stood on thegrass once again observing their friends.

Eliasand Noora were kissing leaning against one of the cabin. They would stop fromtime to time to look at each other and just smile. It had been awhile sinceSana had seen both Noora and Elias so happy.

Chrisand Mutta were sitting on the stairs of the cabin’s entrance talking andlaughing about whatever random thing. Sana adored the way Mutta looked atChris, he really seemed to care about her and Chris, she deserved the best ofthe world.

Vildeand Eva were sitting on the grass, Eva’s arm around Vilde’s shoulder, talkingto Mikael who was also sitting on the grass holding Adam’s hand. Those twocouples may not be that, a couple, yet, but they were going in the rightdirection. They’d make it work, she was sure of that.

 “Best trip ever” Yousef whispered in her ear startling her a bit

Sheturned around and looked at him. He was smiling from ear to ear and she couldn’thelp but do the same.

“Best trip ever” she agreed.

———————–x———————

This is it!!

I really hope you’ve liked it!!

Thank you so much for reading!!♥♥

(The song Yousef tried to sing is Smile by Tupac)

[bibliosexxual]

I don’t even know. I was taking a walk today and this idea popped into my head. I swear I’m still writing the bookstore AU, too. Also, *pops confetti*, I hit 2k followers today! Who ARE all you guys? Anyway, this fluff/ridiculousness is for you. ~1.6k words, rated G. Sterek, of course.

now also on AO3

The whole thing starts with Stiles really, really craving a meatball sub from the place across the street.

"God, someone shut him up," Erica groans. They're all kind of at their breaking point by now; they've been camped out in this meeting room all day, brainstorming. “He’s been talking about the same goddamn sandwich for seven and a half minutes now, and it’s making me hungry.”

“If only our ad campaign were about sandwiches, Stilinski would have it in the bag and we could all go home,” Isaac sighs.

From across the table, Derek rises abruptly to his feet and storms out. (Or maybe it's just that Stiles always interprets everything Derek does as stormy. With those eyebrows, it's hard not to.)

Stiles assumes he's just gotten so fed up with them all that it's either storm out or kill someone, and he's just grateful Derek chose Door Number 1. It's a good day not to get killed by Derek Hale.

Only, fifteen minutes later he comes back in. With a paper bag from the deli.

As soon as he gets within grabbing distance, Stiles practically collapses across the table in his haste to reach for it. "Oh my god, is that what I think it is?"

Derek holds it up over his head. "Who says this is for you? Maybe all your talk inspired me to go get a meatball sub of my own."

"Oh, please. Like anyone with your abs eats meatball subs." Stiles leaps to his feet on his swivel chair—because screw safety, Derek will catch him if he starts to topple over—and snatches the bag out of Derek's grip. Derek doesn’t fight him for it very hard.

"Why don't I get a meatball sub?" Erica whines, thumping her head down on her notebook. “Doesn’t anyone love me?”

Derek shrugs and takes his seat again. "You didn't ask."

"You just like Stilinski better," she grumbles, and Derek just shrugs again.

Meanwhile, Stiles rips into the bag and takes a huge bite out of the gloriousness that is this sandwich. He can't help throwing in a few theatrical moans just to taunt Erica, and she suitably rewards him with a glare of death across the table.

"Mmm," Stiles says. "Derek, I love you so much, dude. Marry me."

Instead of the grumpy eyebrows he expects, Derek meets his eye, leans back smugly in his chair, and says, "Okay."

Stiles blinks at him, sandwich held halfway to his mouth. "Okay?"

"Okay."

"Okay—"

"God," Erica interrupts, "as riveting as this conversation is, I'm going to get my own meatball sub. See you losers later."

*

Stiles mostly forgets about it. That is, until Derek is surprisingly awesome again, this time with coffee when they have an impromptu team meeting at 8:30 in the fucking morning two weeks later.

“Dude, it’s official, we’re having a June wedding,” Stiles groans between sips of hazelnut latte goodness.

The weirdest, most delightful thing is that Derek fucking goes along with it. “June? How cliché. I vote April or May.”

"Okay, sure,” Stiles smirks. “It's gonna be on April Fool’s Day or not at all.”

Derek clutches his chest. “Why, so everyone will think our love is a joke? I'm wounded, babe.”

“Shut up, both of you,” Isaac groans, stealing the to-go cup right out of Stiles’ hands and taking a huge sip, and Stiles is suitably distracted chasing him around the room and yelling barely-workplace-appropriate insults to tell Derek exactly why they need to have an April wedding.

He tells him later, though. He doesn’t forget. They compromise on mid-April.

It kinda becomes a thing, after that. Seriously. Stiles has a thing with Derek Hale. A gay chicken thing, except with weddings. And it’s awesome.

“It's gonna be a small, intimate gathering—”

“—of all our two thousand one hundred and eighty combined Facebook friends. Perfect. I was thinking the same thing, babe.”

“You’re paying to feed them all, then.”

“I’ll buy two cakes, since we probably aren’t going to agree on cake flavors at all.”

“Mine better be German chocolate with buttercream frosting.”

“Wait, seriously? That’s what I was going to pick. Okay, I’ll make my cake be coconut. Ooh, we could do a tropical theme! We’re gonna have flowers everywhere.”

“Only if you want me to sneeze all over you all day.”

“Derek, it’s a spring wedding, we’ve gotta have flowers. But we can get fake ones. And balloons! I fucking love balloons. Also, who says we’re gonna get married in the daytime? What if I want to get married at night?”

“An evening wedding, then. The reception can be at night.”

“Only if you let me hire the DJ.”

“Absolutely not. You would pick something totally tacky for our first dance, like ‘Cotton Eye Joe’ or the Chicken Dance.”

“While that would be hilarious, I was actually thinking ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love.’”

“That’s… actually not bad. Huh.”

“I do have good taste sometimes, boo.” Stiles even throws in a wink. “After all, I like you enough to marry you.”

It turns out Derek isn’t stormy and grumpy all the time, and he actually has a really nice smile. Especially when he’s blushing.

*

Erica, probably looking for an excuse to party and/or laugh at them, throws them a surprise fake-engagement party one Friday. The whole office shows up, probably lured in by the free food.

It actually ends up being fun. There’s chocolate cake and sparkling grape juice, and Stiles manages to get Derek to take a selfie with him while wearing a flower crown and not looking even a little bit murderous. Stiles immediately sets it as his new phone background just to see Derek pretend (badly) not to like it.

*

“Aw, is that your boyfriend?” a client asks one day, leaning over his shoulder, because Stiles never quite got around to changing out that photo on his phone.

And... Stiles shouldn’t. It’s probably crossing so many lines.

But he does.

He smiles widely and says, “We’re engaged, actually.”

The weird thing is, it's supposed to be a joke, but Stiles actually really likes the sound of it, and before he can second-guess it, he’s off inventing a whole story about their wild office romance and how it all started with an innocent meatball sub.

The client gets actual tears in her eyes by the end of it.

Stiles should be a professional actor. He’s obviously missed his life’s calling.

*

“Stiles,” Derek growls the next morning, “why did Wanda just call me to congratulate me on my engagement to you?”

“Uh, because we are engaged?” Stiles tries. “We’re having a spring wedding with two flavors of cake, or did you forget? By the way, you still need to buy me a ring.”

Deflection successful—Derek crosses his arms and demands, “Why am I the one buying the rings in this scenario? You’re the one who proposed to me.”

“Yeah, but I’m pretty sure you have more money. I make too many impulse decisions regarding video games, and books, and concert tickets, and… yeah. I have no concept of budgeting.”

Derek sighs and shakes his head and totally forgets about the whole “Stiles told someone we were getting hitched” thing.

*

It just keeps going. Stiles gets in the habit of calling Derek “babe” or “boo” sarcastically, just to see Derek flip him off or roll his eyes or blush, and if anyone around the office says something like, “I dunno, ask your boyfriend,” or, “Tell your boyfriend good job on that presentation,” Stiles knows exactly who they’re talking about. 

He’s pretty sure there are a few people around the office who actually think Derek is Stiles’ fiancé at this point, which amuses Stiles to no end. 

One day he even catches Derek actually reading a wedding magazine on his break.

*

It’s not exactly weird when Derek drifts to a stop by Stiles’ desk at the end of the day one evening, grey messenger bag slung over his shoulder and hands in his pockets. They walk out to their cars a lot together, these days.

It’s also not that weird that Derek opens with, “Do you like sushi?”

“I thought we agreed we were just having cake at the reception,” Stiles says absently, chewing on a pen. He’s come up with ten different slogans in the past hour for this brand of dish soap, but they’re all puns, and the client probably isn’t going to go for it.

“Right, we are,” Derek says, and Stiles finally does look up, because Derek sounds nervous. Usually when they talk about the wedding there’s a lot more smirking and fake-outrage involved, and a lot less hand-twisting and lip-biting. “I was just thinking… wondering… if you liked sushi. There’s this new place a couple blocks from here, if, um.”

The pen falls out of Stiles’ mouth and clatters on the floor.

“Forget it,” Derek says, half-turning away.

That’s about as far as he gets before Stiles bursts out of his chair and tries to grab Derek’s arm but ends up with a fistful of his shirt instead. It gets Derek to stop and look at him again, though, so there. “Dude, are you asking me out right now?”

Derek says, “Let go of my shirt, Stiles,” which isn’t a no.

“Please tell me this isn’t a gay marriage chicken thing,” Stiles says, after he lets go of the shirt.

Derek swallows. “It isn’t a gay marriage chicken thing.”

“In that case,” Stiles says, “I love sushi.”

*

When they do get married for real a year later, they’re totally prepared.

[kyberled]

DETAILED APPEARANCE INFO

do not reblog, repost.

HEAD

FACE SHAPE: oval, going off this chart (click) and his real-life face claim CHEEKS: A bit pink, but not to the point where it looks like blushing; Many adults have deemed them pinchable. CHEEKBONES: High and defined, but not sunken; To quote Rodi, ‘I’m in love with [Braig’s] cheekbones.’ LIPS: Bow-shaped, lower lip is fuller than upper; Almost naturally pouty, very pink. Can be a bit dry and cracked after some missions, but doesn’t chew them often, so they’re not too frayed. SKIN COLOR: Olive, light medium; He’s a bit lighter when he’s younger, because he didn’t leave the Temple until he was eight, and that was to go to Ilum, of all places, but he gets more sun when he starts going on regular missions. (Somewhere between III and IV on THIS SCALE (Click); the exact place on the range changes slightly, but yeah. Closer to III) SKIN TYPE: ‘normal’, as far as skin types go. Not especially oily, not especially dry, just somewhere in a neutral ground. (Not combination, though.) Rough and calloused around his palms, fingers, knuckles, and the bottoms of his feet, from training and missions, but relatively soft and smooth everywhere else. Scars brown, would be subject to a bit of hyperpigmentation if the Jedi couldn’t apparently use the Force as sunscreen (the Jedi Path taught me a lot) EYE SHAPE: almond-shaped, hooded, upturned at the outer corners EYE COLOR: Calf brown EYEBROW SHAPE: Full, straight, barely arches, tapers off EYEBROW COLOR: Black EYELASHES: Thick, long, black NOSE SHAPE: According to this chart, it’s a ‘small hero’ nose (which I find hilarious); Slightly hooked; Rounded tip, little bit of a button; Again, adults have reported that it is very boop-able HAIR TEXTURE: Thick, smooth yet unruly, and has a gentle wave to it HAIR COLOR: Jet black HAIR LENGTH: Depending on how old he is, it’s either about to his chin (baby Braig), just over his shoulders (young teenager), just passing his shoulders (older teenager), roughly the middle of his back (adult), or, heck, even down to his hips (Elder/old Braiggos) EARS: Somewhere between rounded and oval, unattached lobe, average size

UPPER BODY

SHOULDERS: A little narrow when he’s tiny, but puberty kicks him in the jaw and he broadens out by his late teens. ARMS: Toned - Muscular, though in the sense that it’s more ‘practical muscle’ and less ‘overly defined’; Buff for use, not for show, if that makes sense. Have you ever swung a sword around for a few hours? Great exercise. This kid uses two on a daily basis. A few noticeable veins, here and there; A couple small scars in various stages of fading.  STOMACH AREA: Toned. His life is 24/7 training. This kid is ridiculously in shape. Probably some scars here, too. LOVEHANDLES?: Friend, if it wasn’t for the fact that he was buff, he’d vanish when he turned sideways. He’s got barely any fat on him. (It’s actually probably a little bit of a health issue.) CHEST/BREASTS: Smooth, also muscular. Taut, but not swollen or ballooned out. He’s lean, I suppose, is the word I’m looking for. Probably still a few scars. NIPPLES: Average size, reddish-brown in colour. BACK: Same as before - lean muscle, little scars here and there. Straight posture, a mixture of confidence, formality, and training. HAND SIZE: A little on the small side, honestly? Broad palms, long, slender fingers. Very calloused, along the palms, pads of fingers, and the knuckles (first two especially). 

LOWER BODY

HIPS: They don’t lie, I’ll tell you that much. Again, muscular - a little wide, though whether this is due to muscle growth or just Braig being naturally a lil curvy, who knows.  BOTTOM: As I said, he doesn’t have a lot of fat on him, so it’s not big, but like the rest of him, pretty toned. Both of his romantic partners in their respective verses have given it five stars. (He’s unsure what to make of this.) THIGHS: Sturdy, muscular, lean. He’s flexible, with great balance, honed through training. He can’t outmatch physical giants in the Jedi Order like Hano, or, to pick a canon character, Krell, in terms of raw strength, so he focuses on agility. He’s got nice legs. Again, probably a few small scars, here and there. CALVES: Proportionate to his legs. Muscular, the calves of a martial artist and a trained warrior. Also, more scars. LEG LENGTH: I suppose long-ish? They’re a bit longer than his head+torso, but not by much, so pretty average. 

OTHER

BODY HAIR: Doesn’t have much. It’s pretty much localised to his underarms, and the nether regions. His arms and legs are bare, and he couldn’t grow facial hair if he tried. (He did, in fact, try, just on a whim. It was disappointing, to say the least.) What he does have is a bit sparse, and very dark - black, like his head-hair.  SCENT: He smells a bit like leather, a bit like old stone, a bit like the air before a lightning strike (I, personally, imagine that lightsaber blades sort of give off that ozone-y energy smell), a bit like heated metal, like tea, and sweat, and battlefield dust, and the fake-not-pineapple scent of bacta and maybe a bit of medical disinfectant, a little like soap and shampoo and laundry detergent, and boot polish, and flowers, and weapons grease, maybe a bit like Obidad’s aftershave or cologne if he’s had a bad day and needs a tight hug. And a few people say he also smells a little like sweets, but that depends on the day. How much of each scent really depends on what he’s been doing recently. HAND NAILS: Very short, usually only a sliver of white over the pinks. Rounded and smooth, good for making a proper fist while also being well-manicured and clean. Sometimes, there’s a bit of dirt, or grit, or blood underneath, and other times there might be a bit of boot polish or weapons grease, but he washes his hands regularly enough that it’s never really a problem. He usually makes sure his hands are clean before leaving the Temple, if he can. TOENAILS: Short and neat, though he’s a bit less meticulous with his toes than with his hands - people don’t see his feet too often, and he doesn’t need his toenails short to make a fist. He keeps ‘em best as he can, but if they get a bit long, he won’t kick himself for it.  VOICE: I think, at least as a teenager, he would in fact sound like his FaceClaim, Boo.Boo Stew.art - A really good clip of him talking (to puppies) is here: (click), though when he’s older, it does deepen; I’ll have to look for a good voice claim for that. One important thing to note is that he does have a Coruscanti accent; ‘English’, in our Earthling terms, though it’s closer to Ewan’s Ob/i-W/an accent, since that’s what Braig grows up with. ACCENT: As I said, an English/Coruscanti accent. It’s not too thick, no more than Obidad’s is. He has it in every verse - his bio father, Eadric, has a very English accent, as well, so he grows up with it no matter who he was initially raised by.

HEIGHT: 5’0” as a young padawan (eg from age 13), 5′7″ as an older padawan (eg from age 17), and 5′9″ is his full height.  WEIGHT: 155.55 lbs is his full weight as an adult, but of course it depends on his age/height.  PIERCINGS: None, though Rogue Braig and modern Braig have seriously considered getting a single earring in his left ear lobe. TATTOOS: None, though he has a few he’s considered. Again, Rogue and Modern Braig are more likely to have these. BRA SIZE: Doesn’t wear one. SHOE SIZE: Apparently it’s 8 in American men’s when he’s fully grown. I barely know my own shoe size, so I’m leaving this. PREFERRED CHOICE OF SHOES: Simple leather boots in canon; In modern, he has a battered pair of old hiking boots, and another set of old comfy sneakers, and those are the ones he loves most. CLOTHING STYLE: He dresses in pretty typical Jedi clothing. Brown tunic, trousers, boots and belt, often wears a red sash under his belt, and, of course, his scarf; He loses the scarf when he gets older, (around 16-17) and adopts more greys, as well as a brown tabbard and grey vambraces, as a Jedi knight, his shirt is grey with two brown stripes on the right sleeve (brown stripes on your sleeve, according to Legends canon, signify having been born in the Coruscant system; These things are completely optional, but he likes them). The brighter colours in his outfit shift away from red and towards purple. As a Sith/Sith apprentice? Black clothes, tunic, maybe a tabbard, red accents, typical stuff. As a Rogue, it’s a lot of thrown-together, whatever he can find type-stuff. He likes things with pockets, since he can hide things there, and he modifies most jackets he wears to have pockets hidden on the inside where he can stash his sabers. He likes leather jackets, and he’d absolutely be willing to shell out the necessary credits for armourweave clothes he can wear around. It’s a way less formal, refined look than he wore when he was younger. He’s still big on neutral/earth tones, but if he needs to buy more opulently coloured stuff to blend in, he will. He also wears a small, woven black ‘bracelet’ around his left wrist - this is his padawan braid that he cut off himself, and he melted the beads down to join the ends together. He fiddles with it when he’s stressed. Modern Verse Braig likes dark/neutral pants, jackets, shoes, etc, but bright and vividly coloured shirts, and accessories can fall on either end of the scale. He likes comfortable, durable clothes that he can move around in, and if he’s gonna get a design or graphic on his clothes, he prefers a simple picture. he’s not above wearing jewellery in this verse (or his Rogue verse, might I add) though, again, prefers a simple necklace or one of those camp-style friendship bracelets to anything else. GENERAL BODYSHAPE: I will say right now that finding accurate body-type name charts for men sucks (though one said Braig’s body-shape is called ‘Adonis’, and I think we’re both giggling). I guess it’s somewhere between inverted triangle and rectangle? Could even get off calling some younger shots hourglass, before he starts filling out and growing into himself. I dunno. He’s Braig-shaped.

TAGGED BY: i stole a meme on free meme day TAGGING: literally all of my mutuals who want to tackle this monster i have been staring at pictures of boostew for like thirty minutes to figure out what shape his EARS are do you think i have the presence of mind to tag people

[themurphyzone]

His World: Monkeys

Requested by @arendalphaeagle! It took me forever to get to this one....

1. Monkey Phase

Milo wasn’t normally this fussy. But now he refused to wear any other pajamas besides the fuzzy monkey onesie, even though it clearly needed a wash. There were crumbs lodged all over the sleeves, and the round tan spot in the middle had a little smudge of drool. “Come on, Milo,” Brigitte cooed. “No monkey pajamas tonight. These are dirty.” 

He crawled to the side of the crib nearest to the wall, tugging the monkey pajamas so that they rested in a crumpled heap next to him. Next he glared angrily at her, though the effect was lost when he also puffed out his cheeks. And also because babies were adorable when they tried to be mad. 

“I’ll give you two bananas for breakfast tomorrow, if you’ll give me your pajamas,” Brigitte offered. “How does that sound?” 

“Ana?” Milo repeated. 

“Ana,” Brigitte confirmed. Milo squealed in delight, and Brigitte scooped him up in her arms, cradling him with one hand and tossing the monkey pajamas in the hamper. “I blame Martin for turning you into a little monkey. Now, do you want the pajamas with the presents or the bees?”

2. Monkey Business

“Blast this infernal attic,” Balthazar muttered, sneezing for the 23rd time. No, he wasn’t so bored that he was counting his sneezes. Who did that? They were camped out in the attic of the Murphy residence, waiting for the family to leave for the day so they could conduct a thorough investigation. Unfortunately, the family kept forgetting the most random things and kept rushing back inside to grab them. 

Maybe there would be information in the attic. 

Balthazar opened a large box, a family of squirrels scolding him for disturbing their nap. “Pardon me. So sorry,” he closed the flaps, leaving the box where it stood. “Dakota, help me find something I can use for proof!” 

Vinnie shoved a bag of chips into his pocket and started poking around at a corner. “Chips kinda taste gross in the attic anyway. You get to take in a mouthful of dust and cobwebs while eating and-oh cool, so this is the time period where they had all those children’s animal magazines! I loved looking at these when I was a kid!” 

“There’s not enough time-oh, never mind,” Balthazar knew it was a lost cause when Vinnie picked up an issue with a photograph of a spider monkey on the front cover, flipping through the pages. 

“Balthy, are you sure you don’t wanna learn about New World monkeys with me?” Vinnie asked. Balthazar continued to rummage through a stamp collection, mentally noting they all seemed to be centered around historical disasters. “What if we were assigned to, I don’t know, Costa Rica and we got lost in the rainforest or something. And we have to learn how to hop from tree to tree because there’s a ferocious jaguar that everybody’s afraid of. And we would have to avoid arrows tipped with dart frog poison. And there’s probably an ancient temple somewhere. There’s usually one in those kinds of settings.”

A practical application. Not likely, but plausible. Setting aside the stamp collection for now, Balthazar leaned against the wall and sighed. “I suppose it’s a possibility,” he mused as Vinnie laid down on the floorboards, his head resting on Balthazar’s stomach. He propped the magazine up on his chest. 

Listening to Vinnie gush about the eating habits of capuchin monkeys was a great stress reliever. 

3. We’re Going to the Zoo and We’re Gonna Get More Than We Bargained For

“And here comes a cart full of kids, monkeys in hats, and a clown on a unicycle barreling through to make a daredevil leap through the shark infested waters that has put at least thirty-four professional stuntmen in the hospital! Huh, what? No way! Sorry folks! Correction, it was thirty-two professional stuntmen and two pharmacists.” 

“What do we do?” Melissa shrieked, clutching a vacuum cleaner as a lifeline as the cart hurtled uncontrollably down the ramp. 

“Well, as soon as this blows over we should really get these monkeys back to their exhibit,” Milo replied, watching the monkeys hoot to each other as the banana perfume the cart was coated in whipped them up into a frenzy. “The zoo staff will be using them for a kid’s birthday party later.”

“Monkeys, stop chasing us! Monkeys, stop chasing us!” Zack shouted. The monkeys ignored him, one latching onto an iron bar of the cart and desperately holding on as he was helplessly pulled along. Milo pulled the hitchhiking monkey up so he didn’t get hit by the wheels. The monkey hugged Milo out of fright instead, covering his face with a long, hairy arm. 

A shark appeared out of the water just as the cart went airborne, jaws wide open. Melissa threw down the vacuum cleaner, smacking the shark in the head. It sunk beneath the surface in pain. 

Milo managed to move the arm so that he could peer out with one eye, turning pale as three more sharks appeared, bumping the bottom of the cart with their noses so that it landed on the other ramp safely. They slowly rolled to a stop, catching their breaths. 

The clown was knocked out on the other side, while the monkeys around him fought over the unicycle. The monkey that was clinging to Milo let go, circling around the walkway to join the others. Workers herded them to the exit.

“On second thought, do you just want to find a balloon vendor?” Milo asked. 

“Okay, but this time, I handle all communication with the woodpeckers,” Zack said.