#Pepsi shields

[amberraymond]

Mrs.brown’s boys Wins NTA for best comedy

[pepsiiwho]

PEPSI… i caved and watched the gameplay for the one frame he’s in..

do you have any thoughts on the little garden they have set up for him…….

Short answer:

He is loved. To grow flowers so diligently, to have shades at his side should he ever need them, to keep pillars surrounding him, the erected marble standing strong and adorned with moss and vine, to shield from sun and sleet and storm?

He is loved. Where he was once a greeter, a passing face in a sea full of them, he is now merely himself. He was no more then a fixture in the hall, an accommodation, a door mat. Now he is relegated to the back, away from prying eyes of compatriots and Olympians alike. To get to Sleep, you pass the greatest their army has to offer. Who would dare risk themselves for such a humble god? And yet,

He is loved. His chair, plush and lavish, is an eye sore compared to the mild hammock but he is adored in his alter onto himself. With shades to keep watch, holding him safe and steady through any nightmare, or scare.

He is loved. The princess of hell and the last of her kin and kind visits him, hands clasped in prayer and want. Willing sleep to wake, to look at her and to be well. She promises him respite outside his rest, in the waking world even as war rages on.

He is loved, and he doesn't even know it.

Long answer: fic dropping soon.

[impishcupid]

{BEGIN ID)

A video with the caption “Wow that was powerful! Never thought a ‘boycott Israel’ advert would move me to tears”

The video starts with a man grabbing a can of Pepsi from a cooler in a store, and placing it on the counter. He asks the price, to which the cashier tells him it costs two dinar. The shot then shows 13 versions of this interaction at once, where he hands over the 2 dinar and takes the can of pepsi, equalling 26 dinar.

After the product is scanned, we return to one shot and the cashier is counting his money. It then switches to show the pepsi delivery driver being handed the wad of money while delivering the stores supplies. This part of the video features many rapid transitions. The first transition is to the pepsi driver using a money counting machine to count his money, then we see many rapid cuts that interchange close up shots of the “100” on hundred dollar bills and images of stock market prices rising and falling, likely representative of that money changing between economies and countries.

It then transitions to a businessman counting money, which he places in a briefcase and leaves his office. He presents the briefcase to a colleague, which transitions as the case is opened to the colleague opening the case to show a weapons manufacturer. The weapons manufacturer then begins building with a variety of hammering, sawing, and ends with spray painting. He then presents his creation: a bomb. The person being presented to comments that it’s perfect.

It cuts to a plane flying through the rain on a darkened night, to which someone says to the pilot “do you have eyes on the target?”

The pilot responds “yes, i have visuals.”

The pilot then says “Sir, are you sure about the coordinates? I see civilians nearby.”

The camera then pans to a little girl, looking between 10 and 13, walking with an older man, either her brother or father. He is trailing behind her, and as she turns to look at him, she also looks up to see the plane.

While she is looking at the plane, an audio overlay of the pilot being told “do it.”

The shot then shows a close up of the bomb being dropped and it’s trajectory through the air, as it gets closer and closer to the ground. As we reach the ground, the camera actually zooms in on the innocent child’s eye, the tip of the bomb still in frame and clearly about to land on her face.

The moment in time freezes as the older man hugs her tightly, and she stares at the bomb. The shot cuts between a full body of her being embraced, the man hugging her with his back attempting to shield her from the bomb, and her face close up, staring at it. The moment in time resumes in extreme slow motion, as a pulsating ring is heard getting louder and louder as the nose of the bomb gets closer to impact. Right before the bomb lands, the screen cuts to black, with white text saying “Boycott.”

{END ID}

I posted this under ten minutes ago (it’s 4:29 EST 03-02-2024) and i’ve already gotten more notes then most posts I post.

That’s good.

Be vocal, be loud, never stand down

[seeingstarks]

weight of two souls

summary : it's thanksgiving and neither you or phil want to leave each others arms to go and meet the family. does it even happen? pairing : cm punk x afab!reader cw : pure fluff, cuddling, kissing, hip/thigh squeezing, cursing, nose nuzzling, babygirl/good girl & king/queen nicknames, innuendos "sound proof walls" / "taking his scepter" a/n : can you tell how much i've been missing the old man? x) i've been working on this for about a week or so and put my entire heart & soul into it. please reblog!! keep rude comments to yourself. <33 there may be a few spelling/grammar errors. word count : 1,291 words tag list : @harmshake gif credit : @adamjf

once the leaves started to fall your mood did the opposite, haunting month passing by in an instant.

calender flipping to november, the days went by agonizingly slow, this being one of your least favorite months of the season.

thanksgiving was soon approaching and your family always wanted to make it this huge get together. no being anti-social and locking yourself away, wishing you could every year. atleast they allowed you to bring a friend from work, if you could call him that.

the chicago native was more than a friend to you, he stayed up with you through your worst nights, steeping you both fresh cups of tea and/or coffee even if it meant catching up on sleep the next day, as long as he knew you were okay.

ever since he laid eyes on you, he made a best friend with just a simple hello and allowing you to pet his dog, larry. restless nights sharing deep dish pizza and mindy's eventually lead to cuddling, his inked arms wrapped around you, placing a kiss to his scruffy cheek.

the alarm clock chirping as sun peaked through your blackout curtains, neither of you wanted to get up for the morning - well afternoon.

you were the first to wake up, groggy eyed with phil having his arms snug around your waist, sleeping soundly except for his snoring which could wake up the entire neighborhood. larry decided to seek slumber at the foot of your bed, his head propped up on the chicago native's leg.

managing to shift away from his grasp, you hit the alarm clock with a clenched hand in hopes it would stop the commotion.

"rise and shine sleeping beauty, one hour 'til we meet my family. much as i don't wanna' go.. you promised to tag along for the torture."

phil didn't budge until you deciding to smack him with a pillow, "i'm up! i'm up!" he half-yelled, removing his hands from under the warm covers in an attempt to shield his face.

"a simple g'mornin' kiss would've woken me up too, y'know."

yawning and stretching his arms out, phil took his sweet old time getting ready while you on the other hand began to brush your hair out. bristles making contact with the h/c strands, they untangled after a few more brushes, setting it to the side and entering your closet.

luckily, you prepared your ensemble a night beforehand, slipping out of your clothing from the previous evening and stepping into a pair of black underwear with white polka-dots.

lifting your arms up to put on a shirt, you were met with a firm pair of arms which wrapped around your curvy frame, his lips placing gentle kisses along your neckline.

"mm, phil- could stay like this forever but we gotta' finish getting ready." you informed and looked up into his light brown hues with a playful smile.

"not complaining but i'm more ready than you are- atleast i have pants." shaking your head at the chicago native who indeed had pants on, but no shirt.

you raised an arm up to trace his pepsi tattoo, almost lost in a trance - simply enjoying the moment and his warm embrace as you remained standing still, being held close.

glancing over at your alarm clock, ten minutes seemed to pass by swiftly. spending all day in with your love would usually be no issue, but today you both had plans.

pouting softly and burying your head into the crook of his neck, you debated staying in and bailing on family dinner.

"so cozy.. don't wanna' move." you peeked up at phil, removing your head from his shoulder as he kept his arms securely around your waist, giving your hips a slight squeeze.

tongue darting out between his lips, the chicago native licked them, "i know babygirl... but think of all the cuddles we can get in afterwards. you're my favorite little spoon."

"i better be your only-" before having the chance to finish your sentence, phil captured your lips in a deep kiss one which you returned happily, "you're the only person i want to wake up next to every morning, binge watch horror movies with and much more. i'm so fuckin' lucky to have you in my life, y/n - but we truly should get goin' soon if we don't want to be late." he spoke sincerely although a half-chuckle escaped his lips, a few noticeable smile lines showing.

nodding, you captured his gaze only looking away when blinking - "you mean so much to me, phil. i felt as if there was a missing puzzle piece in my life.. and no matter how hard i tried nothing seemed to fit until you came along. we're the perfect match." placing your forehead against his, the two of you nuzzled noses briefly prior to pulling away from one another.

phil finished getting ready by throwing on his t-shirt which read i'm a collision girl in white letters across the back, tying up his sneakers. you did the same, sporting combat boots and a pair of black pants.

it was a miracle you and phil managed to make it out of the door in time, grabbing your keys and starting the engine up as larry sat buckled in the backseat pampered with dog treats.

"first time i'm officially meeting your family. do they know what to expect?" the chicago native asked, you had told your family about phil countless times.

the fact he was your boyfriend going on six months now and how he treated you perfectly. his queen who could hold a throne all on her own, independent but yearning for a partner. someone to feel safe with - who wouldn't hurt you like past partners. phil was your king - protecting you from harm, trying his best to keep the dark thoughts at bay, you doing the same for him.

"haven't shut up about you ever since we met. if my father heard the words cm punk or phil leave my mouth one more time they may have tried to disown me." you laughed, keeping your eyes on the road.

"ah, well it's a good thing we have sound proof walls - ever since the neighbors complained and when my babygirl gets needy, isn't that right?" you nodded, cheeks a bit flustered as phil placed a hand to your thigh, giving yet another squeeze, while you reached a stop light letting out a whine.

"what's the matter?" phil asked with a smug smirk along his face, causing you to roll your eyes over at him.

"best behavior, daddy-" words betrayed you while squirming under his touch, desperate for more. a loud horn halted you from any obscene thoughts running through your mind, the light turning from red to green as you began to drive again.

the ride wasn't too much longer, a brisk breeze going throughout the car as you cracked the window open for larry, he would let out the occasional bark when stopping by his favorite restaurants, one bakery in particular catching your own eye.

"want to make a quick stop for some sweets?" you asked already entering the parking lot.

"hell yeah, but won't be be late?"

"exactly my point." phil took your suggestion, wishing to spend the rest of the holiday with him only and not your family.

bell dinging as you two entered the bakery hand in hand with fingers linking together, a variety of treats on display behind glass.

"let's get some muffins to go. 'wanna spoil my queen," he leaned closer and whispered against your ear, "while you take my scepter like the good girl you are."

mr. and mrs. best in the world has a nice ring to it, don't ya think?

[queermatcha]

The sound of his frantic footsteps echoed from the walls, but all he heard was his own rapid heartbeat. Finally, he found the room he was looking for, yanked open the door and stumbled inside.

A doctor was standing in front of the hospital bed and looked up at him, frowning. "Who are you?" he asked. Buck didn't trust his own voice, but he still managed to choke out "I'm his boyfriend".

The frown on the doctor's face made Buck's heart sink. "Wait outside. I'm not done here yet." He raised his hands in a gesture trying to appease the physician. "But I just want-" The doctor frowned harder, still standing in front of the bed so Buck couldn't even get a glimpse of him. "Out! Or I will let you be escorted out of the hospital!" A moment later, Buck was back in the hallway again. Trying to fight back the tears, he leaned his forehead against the wall and cursed softly. "Buckley! I was wondering when you'd show - hey, are you okay?" Lucy was walking down the corridor and she stepped closer to Buck, placing a hand on his shoulder. Buck exhaled, frustrated, and quickly wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "The doctor threw me out of the room before I could even take a look at him," he told her and Lucy gently squeezed his shoulder.

"What are you still doing here?" Buck then asked. Lucy shrugged. "I'm the one that pulled him out of that rubble. Nobody told me to leave, so I stayed. You want a drink?" She held out a can of Pepsi and Buck just grabbed it without even being thirsty, really. "He'll be fine. Your man's a fucking badass. And built like a damn brick wall, he's not one to be taken down that easily," Lucy said, nudging her shoulder against Buck's. Buck just turned around and leaned his back against the wall before opening the can and taking a sip.

"What happened?" he asked after a few seconds of silence. "There was a huge fire. Down in south LA. We were sent out to help and soon decided that we'd be more helpful down on the ground with the other firefighters than up in the air. Tommy went into one of the houses and it collapsed on top of him. He shielded a young woman with his body and saved her life. Fortunately, me and a few others were able to get them both out of there, but Tommy was injured. The medics said he has a concussion, a fractured shoulder and at least two broken ribs."

Buck bit down on his bottom lip. His chest felt too tight. Again, Lucy nudged him gently. "Hey. He'll be fine, I promise. He's a damn hero, your boyfriend." Buck nodded. "He definitely is," he said before taking another gulp of the cool Pepsi, trying to concentrate on the cold liquid running down his throat.

"So, now that I saved your man, I'll be getting an invitation to the wedding, right?" Lucy asked and Buck couldn't help but chuckle. He even felt himself blush a little, just at the thought of marrying Tommy one day. Maybe. Hopefully. "Of course you do," he answered. It was nice to have Lucy at his side right at this moment. She definitely helped him calm down a little. When Buck glanced at her, there was a big smile on her face and she looked quite pleased with herself. "Good," she said. "Because I think you guys are disgustingly adorable together." Buck blushed even harder. "Yeah?" he asked and she nodded without missing a beat. "Yeah. Tommy's never been this happy. You're definitely good for him," she said, making Buck's heart skip a beat. "He's good for me too," Buck answered and they smiled at each other. The expression on Lucy's face right at this moment was so different from the cocky, self-confident one Buck was so familiar with. Her eyes were warm and affectionate, soft even. "I'm really happy for you two," she said and Buck grabbed one of her hands to gently squeeze her fingers. "Thank you," he answered, touched by his friend's words.

Just a moment later, Buck and Lucy looked up when the door to Tommy's hospital room was opened and the doctor stepped out. "He's awake. You can go see him now," he just mumbled and walked away without any other word. "Wait, what-" Buck said, raising his hand to stop the doctor, but the man didn't even listen. "What is wrong with him," Buck mumbled. Lucy snorted. "Who cares. Come on, Tommy can tell us himself what's up," she said and grabbed Buck's hand to pull him into Tommy's room.

Tommy looked incredibly tired and also really high on pain meds. His blue eyes were glassy and he was incredibly pale, but there was a smile on his lips when Buck and Lucy entered the room. Within seconds, Buck was at his side, grabbing the hand Tommy was slowly lifting in his direction. "Hey, baby," Tommy said, voice raspy and strained, and within seconds, Buck was crying again. "Hey, how are you feeling?" he asked his boyfriend and gently pressed Tommy's hand to his chest, sitting down in a chair next to his bed. Lucy was standing at the foot of Tommy's bed, watching them with a smile on her lips.

"Very tired. And very drugged," Tommy said with a chuckle before his expression turned into a grimace. "Fuck. Laughing hurts," he then added and Buck leaned in to press a soft kiss to his cheek. "You'll be fine." Buck's voice was trembling and Tommy looked at him with a little frown on his face. "I'm sorry I made you worry." Tommy raised his hand from where it was resting against Buck's chest and really gently wiped a few tears off his face. His movements were a little erratic and his fingers trembling, but his touch was so gentle it made Buck's heart flutter in his chest.

"I'm just glad you're still with me," Buck answered and with a smile on his lips, he leaned more into Tommy's touch. "I will never leave your side, Evan." Tommy sounded so serious about this. Buck believed him.

"Oh, you definitely can't because I made Buckley promise to invite me to your wedding," Lucy suddenly said with a wide grin on her face. Tommy blinked a little and looked up at her, a little bit of confusion on his face as if he had already forgotten that Lucy was in the room as well. Then, he smiled, an expression so beautiful it was almost blinding and even though Tommy looked so exhausted and beat up, Buck couldn't help but think that he was the most gorgeous man in existence.

"You're so damn invited," Tommy said and he made Buck and Lucy chuckle with his words. His expression softened a little more. "Thank you, Donato. For saving my life." Lucy beamed at him. "You're very welcome, Kinard."

[raatart]

a complete boycott list in alphabetical order

a complete list of companies / brands / franchises to boycott in support of palestine that i have been working on putting together for a while now.

remember to support your local businesses

stand with palestine against genocide

(Food & Beverages)

A

Activia

Acqua Panna

Akmina

Absolute Vodka

Algida

A&W

Aquafina

Alpro

Actimel

B

Burger King

Baskin Robbins

Ben & Jerry's

Bugles

Betty Crocker

Badoit

Becel

C

Coca Cola

Costa Coffee

Cadbury

Cheerios

Cheetos

Campbells

Calve

Cappy

Chiquita

D

Dominos

Dasani

Dunkin' Donuts

Doritos

Dr Pepper

Danone

Dolcela

Damla

Dogadan

E

Evian

Eden

F

Fanta

Frito-lay

Fruit by the Foot Roll Ups

Falim

Fresca

G

Gatorade

Greggs

H

Hardees

Haagen Dazs

Heinz Ketchup

Hershey's

Hard Rock Cafe

Heinz

I

Innocent

Israeli Fruits & Vegetables

J

Jacob's

Jaffa

K

KitKat

KFC

Kbueno

Kraft Mac & Cheese

Kellogg's

Kraft

L

Lipton

Lays

M

McDonald's

Mars

Marks & Spencers

Maggi

Marila

Monster

Mountain Dew

Mehadrin

Minute Maid

Milk Bar

M&M's

Magnum Ice Cream

Milka Chocolates

N

Nestle

Nestle Cereals

Nescafe

Nesquik

Nespresso

Nido

Nutella

Nature Valley

Nestle Milo

Nestle Carnation

Nestle Coffee Mate

Nestle Nestum

Nimbooz

Nestea

O

Orea

Original Shredded Wheat

P

Papa John's

Pepsi

Pringles

Pizza Hut

Perrier

Pillsbury

Popeyes

Pretty a Manager

Pure Life

Powerade

Popup Bagels

Q

Quality Street

Quaker

R

Redbull

Ruffles

S

Starbucks

Subway

Smartwater

Sweetgreen

Snickers

Sprite

Sabra

Sunkist

Strauss

Smarties

S.pellegrino

Schweppes

Sana

Sirma

Sara Lee

T

Toblerone

Tang

Twix

Tesco

Tropicana

U

V

Vittle

Volvic

W

Wall's

Walmart

Walkers

Wrigley's

X

Y

Z

7Up

(Clothing)

A

America Eagle

Adidas

Alo

Adina Eden Jewelry

B

C

Converse

Calvin Klein

Cat

Castro

D

Drew

Diesel

E

F

G

Good American

GAP

H

H&M

I

J

K

Kamili

L

Levi's

Lumberjack

M

Mango

N

Nike

O

Oasis

P

Puma

Q

R

River Island

S

Skims

Skinny Dip

St. Mark

Style Nadia

T

Timberland

U

V

Victoria's Secret

Vakko

W

We Wore That

Wyeth

X

Y

Z

Zara

(Beauty)

A

Aveda

Amika

Avon

Aussie

Aveeno

Always

Aesop

Ahava

B

Bobbi Brown

Blistex

Bath & Body Works

Britney Spears Fragrance

Becca

Biotherm

Beauty Blender

C

Clinique

Covergirl

Colgate

Calgon

Camay

CeraVe

Christina Aguilera Perfumes

Clean & Clear

Crest

CND

Cacharel

D

Dr. Jart+

Dove

Dettol

Darphin Paris

Dark & Lovely

E

Essie

Elidor

F

Fenty Beauty

Fair & Lovely

G

Garnier

Gillette

Glam Glow

H

Honest Beauty

Haci Sakir

Herbal Essences

Head & Shoulders

Hugo Boss

I

J

Jo Malone

Johnson & Johnsom

K

Kerastase

Kiehl's

Kylie Cosmetics

Kylie Skin

Kotex

L

L'Oreal

Lacome

La Roche-Posey

Lifebuoy

Lux

Lubiderm

M

Maybelline

MAC

Moroccan Oil

Maui

Matrix

Max Factor

N

Nyx

Neutrogena

Nivea

Nature's Beauty

Niely

O

Olay

Origins

Orkid

Oral-B

Oax

P

Pepsodent

Pantene

Q

R

Revlon

Rimmel

Rexona

Rhode

S

Summer Fridays

Schick

Smashbox

Sephora

Sensodyne

Skinceuticals

Skin Better Science

T

The Body Shop

Too Faced Cosmetics

The Ordinary

Tom Ford Beauty

Tampax

Takami

U

Urban Decay

Ulta Beauty

V

Vichy

Vaseline

Veet

W

X

Y

Yes to

Yuesai

Z

(Luxury)

A

B

C

Chanel

D

E

Estee Lauder

F

G

Georgio Armani

H

I

J

K

L

LVMH

Louis Vuitton

La Mer

Lavs

Le Labo

M

Mugler

Maison Margiela

N

O

P

Prada

Q

R

Raplh Lauren

S

T

Tiffany & Co.

Tom Ford

Tommy Hilfiger

U

V

Valentino

W

X

Y

Yves Saint Laurent

Z

(Tech & Entertainment)

A

Aol

Amazon

AirBnB

Apple

B

BBC

Buxton

Barbie

Booking.com

C

CNN

D

Disney+

Dell

E

Energizer

F

Ford

Fiverr

G

Galaxy

H

HP

Hyundai

Hulu

I

IBM

Intel

J

K

L

Lego

M

Motorola

Movenpick

Mattel

Microsoft

N

National Geographic

Nokia

Netflix

O

Oracle

Oxi

P

Philips

Q

R

Rolls Royce

S

Siemens

Sodastream

T

Toys R Us

U

V

Volvo

Valvoline

W

Wix

X

Y

Z

(Other)

A

Axa

Ariel

Aero

Ambi Pur

Airwick

Aroma

AVC

Amway

Ace Hardware

Andrex

American Express

B

Bounty

Black & Decker

Bonux

Bref

Braun

Benadryl

Band-aid

Barclays

Blue Cross Blue Shield

Better Help

C

Caltex

Chevron

Culligan

Citi Bank

Chicco

Cravola

Clearblue

Capital One

D

Dash

Drynites

Dosmestos

Doona

E

Expedia

F

Finish

Febreeze

Fixodent

Fairy

G

Goop

Gerber

Gys

H

HSBC

Huggies

Hayat

I

Imodium

J

JCB

K

Kimberly-Clark

Kleenex

L

Lion

Little Swimmers

Lenor

M

Mr Muscle

Minidou

Monsanto

N

Nicorette

O

Omo

P

Pampers

Purina Felix

Payoneer

Palmolive

Protex

Pull-ups

P&G

Prima

Pril

Paramount Pictures

Q

R

Rejoice

Rinso

Rogaine

S

Signal

Sensus

Sudafed

T

Tide

U

Unilever

Us Cellular

V

Vim

Vanish

Vicks

W

X

Y

Yumus

Z

(Places)

A

B

C

D

Disney

E

F

G

H

I

J

K

L

M

N

O

P

Q

R

S

T

U

V

W

X

Y

Z

(People)

A

Ashley Tisdale

Amy Schumer

Andy Beshear

B

Bono

Ben Savage

Bella Thorne

Beyonce

C

Chris Evans

Claire Holt

Ciara

Chris Rock

Chris Pine

D

Demi Lovato

Dwayne Johnson

DJ Khaled

E

Eva Longoria

F

G

Gal Gadot

H

I

Ian Somerhalder

J

Jamie Lee Curtis

James Maslow

Justin Bieber

Jennifer Aniston

Jaclyn Hill

Jack Harlow

Jordan Peele

Joseph Quinn

Jack Black

K

Kylie Jenner

Kim Kardashian

Kris Jenner

Kerry Washington

Katie Perry

Karlie Kloss

Khloe Kardashian

Kat Graham

Kendall Jenner

Kourtney Kardashian

L

Lebron James

Lana Condor

Lana Del Rey

M

Millie Bobby Brown

Malala

Mindy Kaling

Mark Hamill

Madonna

N

NFL

Nina Dobrev

Natalie Portman

Nabela

Nicole Richie

Noah Schnapp

O

Octovia Spencer

P

Perez Hilton

Paul Wesley

Phoebe Tonkin

Pia Mia

P!nk

Q

R

Ronaldinho

Rihanna

S

Sofia Richie

Shaquir O'neal

Selena Gomez

T

Tara Strong

Taika Waititi

Taylor Swift

Tyler Perry

U

Usher

U2

V

Vanessa Hudgens

Viola Davis

W

X

Y

Z

[repent-reflection]

Love you even if crazy

okay fine i don't care anymore

that i have in my mind a war

i just want to listen to lizzy grant

and get new bows and plants

tell me you love me, boy, do it

it's just like i thought it, i just knew it

i want to twirl around in a pretty dress

forget the worries, let go of stress

im not a jealous girl or a stalker

its just the way i love, a bit bolder

imagining being your girl is so sweet

come on you know you like girls younger

with that spark and mind that still wonder

lemme be your secret, your wild desire

come on admit it don't pretend

im sure we will make the rules bend

come on you know you like girls younger

i'll be the one to make your heartbeat faster

you say you wanna start a company with me

that you see a long bright future with me

you know it feels so good

when you talk to me like this, as you should

together we'll conquer, we'll weave them tight

we'll build our world, make it right

carry me to your bed, hold me tight

tell me about the things

you and i will never do, shield me from harm

do you really consider me cute

or more than just a tease, huh?

you just say there is still mystery to unfold

am i just crazy or there are stories untold

boy, maybe you just want my pepsi cola

or you just like in my hair bows tied?

anyways please treat me right

just like a man should do

"i cant stop myself

'cause i like them crazy

i know it's wrong

but nobody can save me"

no, i won't fix you, baby

[thisiswhereikeepdcthings]

What do each of the bats get in their easter baskets? Wrong answers only

(They celebrate Passover ofc but Dick really wanted an easter basket when he was little and Bruce hadn't yet learned how to say no to that face)

Alfred: Tactical Combat Casualty Care and Wound Treatment, Ceylon cinnamon sticks, John Wayne Legacy Collection

Bruce: Computers for Seniors for Dummies, a stress ball shaped like the Superman shield, dinosaur socks

Dick: Balloons for making balloon animals, Meditation for Beginners, Hot Tamale scented markers

Barbara: Pepsi x Peeps soda, Cthulhu Phantom Labyrinth Cube, an air horn

Jason: Electric carving knife, High School Musical 3-movie collection, Neapolitan Oreos

Cass: Smencils, Giant Gummy Rattlesnake Candy, Oversized Easter Bunny Sweatshirt, glow in the dark juggling balls

Steph: Glitter gel pens, sweatshirt that just says “I’m Cold” on the front, Koala stuffed animal plushie

Tim: Nerf Dungeons & Dragons Themberchaud Dart Crossbow, Teen Titans Coloring Book, 12” chocolate bunny

Duke: Solar powered flashlight with USB phone charger, Birthday Cake KitKats, long range walkie talkies

Damian: 30” Foam Pirate Sword, “Most Likely to Bring Home a Cat” sweatshirt, Nerds Very Berry Gummy Clusters

[applejuicefruit]

hey, could you do one of Oliver giroud, with an age difference ( reader 23/24 ) where the reader feels insecure about her relationship with Oliver, and thinks he is only with her for sex, one day she will leave and go get drunk, and when she comes home Oliver will try to take care of her and she will say she feels/or thinks he is only with her for sex, that when he gets tired of her he will leave her for someone else and other things, and then Oliver will comforting her and making sure she's the only one for him and that he's not just with her for sex, and they'll talk about it and in the end, everything works out (sorry if it's confusing)

I love Olivier please send me more requests!

Olivier Giroud x reader

Daddy issues

Doubts started filling your mind when you read all the comments on your recent post with Olivier. It was a simple selfie with a simple heart in the caption, nothing wrong you thought. But all the mean comments made you feel insecure of your relationship.

“He’s dating her only for the sex, he doesn’t really love her” someone said.

“I bet she’s good in bed” someone else said.

“Poor thing, she really thinks he loves her?” another one said. You’ve been only dating for a year and you remember when you started dating you both were on the cover of every gossip magazine in Italy. Mostly because you were only 23 and he was 36 so people assumed you were dating him just or fame and money but you really loved him, with all of your heart but of course, they don’t care about that.

So now you were contemplating whether staying at home and waiting for Olivier to come back home from training or texting your friends and asking them to go out and drink.

You opted for the second one, of course. So you called them and asking them to meet at your favorite club in one hour while you started getting ready and sent a quick text to Olivier telling him that you were out with your friends and that you will come home later in the night.

Once you got ready you called a taxi, knowing that probably you would be too drunk to come back home by yourself and waited for it to arrive.

You were wearing a short but not too short black silk dress with a pair of heels and your black leather jacket finishing your look. Nothing to eccessive but you wanted to feel comfortable with yourself, trying to shield away all the negative comments you’ve been reading all day that made you feel uncomfortable and insecure.

The taxi arrived and drove you to the club where you saw your friends waiting for you. Back into the club you all ordered a cocktail first, then a second one, then a third one, ending with your best friend buying a bottle of champagne for all of you and you offering two rounds of tequila shots. Three hours later and you were all completely waisted except one of your friends just because she didn’t like alcohol so she only got some pepsi for her. Olivier texted you how the night was going and if you needed him to pick you up but you simply sent him a “no, see u at home”. Before leaving the club you wanted to drink a little more so you got yourself a beer and got more that waisted. Your mind was spinning and if it wasn’t for your friend holding you up you would have collapsed.

“Okay y/n it’s time for you to get home…I’m gonna take you home okay? Let’s go” your friend said helping you in the car.

“No I don’t want Olivier to see me…he doesn’t love me, he will think I’m childish” you mumbled in your drunk state.

“What are you talking about? He loves you very much y/n…yeah maybe you’re a bit childish but that makes you, you…don’t worry about it okay? Let’s get you home so you’ll be with your lover” she joked about it but you were too drunk to even understand her words.

Once back home she helped you get in, Olivier hearing a car sound knew this was you so he opened the door and thanked your best friend for bringing you back home.

“Thank you” he smiled at her once you were sat on the couch.

“She’s drunk” your best friend said “and talking nonsense…take care of her please”.

“Of course…thank you for bringing her home, she sounded mad when I texted her earlier…” he told your best friend.

“No, not mad, just heavily drunk” she smiled at him and he laughed looking at your drunk figure sat on the couch.

“But really, thank you” he thanked her again and helped her out.

He came back sitting on the couch but you shoved him away.

“Baby are you okay?” he asked you softly.

“No. Why are you with me Olivier?” you asked him, not being able to control your emotions and letting the tears fall.

“What are you talking about y/n? I’m with you because I love you…why this question?” he softly asked you, hating to see you cry. He knelt in front of you while you were sat on the couch.

“Just admit you’re with me just for the sex…In the end you will leave me for a more mature woman, a woman who can give you children and a family because I’m too young for you and-and one day you will realise that I’m not the one you want and…” you mumbled in a very drink voice “…and you will look for someone else and that day will break my heart but I know it will happen, I mean…we have - I don’t remember right now” you started counting with your fingers “a thirteen year age gap and that’s a lot you know? I’m scared you’ll find someone better because it’s not that hard finding someone better than me…” you whispered the last part, telling him all of your doubts and fears. He smiled a bit watching how you mumbled those words mostly because you were drunk as hell but he couldn’t help but feel a little bit guilty because he was the reason you were feeling that way.

“Y/n, mon amour…listen to me, I love you, and you are the only woman I want to have in my life okay? I don’t care if we have more than a ten year gap, I don’t care if you don’t want to have kids right now, I couldn’t care less, the only thing I care about is you…I love you, je t’aime…not for the sex, not because you’re young but because you’re you and I love you so much…” he said holding your hands and kissing the palm of them softly. He put one of his hands on your chin gently lifting it up so you could watch him in the eyes and see that he was telling you the truth.

“Princess why don’t we go to bed uh?” he asked you softly.

“Are you telling the truth?” you shyly asked him.

“Of course baby” he smiled at you “I would never lie to you, never…”

“Okay” you smiled back at him.

“Let me take care of you baby…” he helped removing your heels and gently carried you in your shared bedroom. He removed your leather jacket and your dress. You felt a bit vulnerable standing in front of him almost naked, not that he’s never seen you naked but in your drunken state you felt more exposed.

“You’re beautiful mon amour” he smiled at you kissing your cheek.

“Thank you” you mumbled.

He removed your bra and dressed you up in one of his clothes. Just a comfy sweater that was too big for you so you used it as a pajamas.

“Oli…” you whispered.

“Mh?” he looked at you.

“I think I have to throw up…” you rushed yourself to the toilet just in time before you let all your alcohol out.

Olivier held your hair and gently massaged your back, comforting you.

After you were done you washed your teeth while Olivier got you a glass of water.

“I’m sorry…” you said sitting on the bed.

“For what baby?” he apprehensively asked.

“For causing a scene…again…” you sobbed a little.

“You’re drunk baby, it’s fine, really, plus I don’t mind taking care of you mon amour, it’s my way to show you how much you mean to me…” he kissed your lips softly and helped you laying in bed.

Your head on his chest while his arms were wrapped around you and one of his hand was back on your hair gently stroking it. You fell asleep in a minute, too tired to even say goodnight.

“Goodnight mon amour” he whispered in your ear while he turned off the lights and held you close to his body so you could feel safe and protected.

[gondwana]

SUN WORSHIP LIST OF BURGER RESTAURANTS KOMODO DRAGON SHIELD VOLCANO BASALT GEOLOGY OF VENUS AMBROSIA RADIUM HILL PEPSI FIFTH WORLD HAMMERHEAD SHARK U.S. ROUTE 10

[amberraymond]

Mrs. Brown’s boys having their Irish tour next year

[crusherthedoctor]

Not a hot take, a general question

What are levels that most hate that you enjoy, and levels that most enjoy that you hate? :>

Sorry this took a few days, but I've been trying to stick with examples that are near-unanimously loved or hated rather than being simply divisive. I also excluded examples of the "this game in general has weird physics, etc" variety… with one exception that won't surprise you.

I Give It a Gex/10:

Marble - The level design is blocky, though I can forgive that more than most since it was the first game, but the aesthetic is really unique for a lava stage, let alone the first one in the series.

Labyrinth - This one is cheating because I'm mainly including it for various mods that have given it a serious glow up, such as the Mania Misfits Pack. As such, I can't bring myself to hate the original, because I always think of those versions now.

Sky Base - Autoscrolling doesn't work so well for Sonic, but conceptually it's a climactic zone.

Wacky Workbench - Growing up is when you realise it's not a tragedy, but a comedy. Whereas other people jeer at it, I jeer with it. Also, the Good Future is beautiful, and so is the Past.

Marble Garden - Slightly downplayed since few outright hate it, but it's often considered the weakest zone in S3&K. I don't know how this can be, given the music, the spinning tops, the boss encounter with Tails helping you out, and the gratuitous pools of Pepsi.

Sandopolis - Act 1 is perfectly fine in my book, and I will not sit here while fans continue to slander it. Act 2 may involve a lot of stopping and waiting, but even so, I find it less tedious than other examples.

Egg Rocket - I really love the concept here, and while it kicked my shit in as a young'un, I don't think it's that bad as an adult.

Mania's Oil Ocean - I saw frequent complaints about why they included this zone, to which I say "Did you forget about the Fire Shield? Did you forget about the remixes?"

This Is Like Underselling Eggman At Crusher's House:

Prison hallway levels in SA2 - Overly cramped grey hallways are not particularly fun. And before someone points out the small graphical details, yes, those are nice and all, but ultimately they can't change how I feel about these stages overall. While I'm not keen on the mech shooting in SA2 in general, the other stages at least give you some room to breathe.

Lost Impact - I feel like this one stage has received the '06 treatment where it was once hated, but is now hailed as a 2deep4u masterpiece because of vibes and interpretation. This is not the case with me. I don't care what your intention is, I don't care what infinite IQ stunt you're pulling with your method of gameplay and story integration: if it's not fun, you've lost me. "But Crusher, this is perfect because it compliments the context of the story, it makes you feel just like Shadow in his situation, muh deep layers would be lost if it was actually enjoyable-" Call me basic, but if the only way you can paint a narrative is by making it shite, I don't think I can trust you with anything. And remember, this is Sonic the Hedgehog, not some indie RPG that most people watch other people's playthroughs of rather than play it themselves.

'06 Crisis City - Generic dilapidated city is not too interesting, despite the tornado carrying a car's best efforts. The Generations version is thankfully salvaged by having fun level design, even if it's the same aesthetically.

All the islands in Frontiers - The Cyber Space stages don't count since they're just Non-Specific Highway and reused Generations assets. Otherwise… well, as you might have guessed by now, bland atmosphere is my Kryptonite. I can put up with some questionable design choices if it's at least memorable in other areas, as that can soften the blow for me to an extent, but if it can't even provide the latter, it makes the former so much more excruciating for me. Needless to say, I do not have much nice things to say about Grass Simulator, Sand Simulator, Rock Simulator, Grass Simulator 2: The Return of Jafar, or Grass Simulator 3: This Is Why Eggman's In Mario Land Now.

[spraypaintstainonawhitewall]

Cherripoison headcanons because they are taking over my life

it's long as shit and i am not putting a tldr deal with it

Poison loves holding hands with Cherri

their most frequent spot is this one bar-slash-restaurant in Zone 2 where they are regulars at this point. the waiters are almost always expecting them and have a table on the ready

Their favorite spot, however, is this large rock on the border of Zones 5 and 6. It's a great spot to watch the sunset, not a lot of Dracs or people come there and it's well shielded. Cherri discovered it by accident, and not even his closest friends know it exists.

He took Party there on their first official date because he was desperate and didn't know what they'd like. Party, of course, didn't care where they went, as long as they were together (their words)

long drives to nowhere is their favorite couple activity. Party is usually always the one who drives, since Cherri can't help but stare at them the whole time. he once nearly ran over some killjoy because he was too busy staring at them in the passenger seat

Party steals his clothes. A lot. More than once, they have stumbled into the diner in the dead of night with one of Cherri's shirts. They argue that it's because it's comfortable, but the real reason is because it smells like him

if u ever see them hanging out together, do not ask them if they are together. you will never receive a proper answer.

popular answers for 'are you two together?' include: 'I accidentally sold my soul to them so now i have no choice but to hang out with them' 'he fed me once and i am now his forever' 'the Witch told me if we didnt hold hands this instant the world would explode. you're welcome.' 'me and who?' (said when Party was in Cherri's lap, his arms practically squeezing them)

the reason is bcoz they just dont wanna put a more complicated label to them other than 'a poet and a killjoy who really like each other'. 'lovers' doesnt cut it, and neither does 'drifters'.

one that they did like was christened by the girl- engaged to be engaged. they thought it was cute, so sometimes, if theyre not snappy enough, they'll say they're 'pre-fiances'

they didnt tell anyone they were a thing, just waited til people figured it out. Pony was the last to find out- Kobra was the first.

they often go on double dates with Newsie and Chimp, but Chimp and Party just end up talking the whole time, so its just Cherri and Newsie staring at each other and eating the whole time

when Party died, Cherri disappeared for a full month. No one except Cherri knows where he was, and no matter what, he absolutely never told anyone.

Cherri's the only person other than Kobra Party will allow to lace them up.

It's a good thing too, because Cherri loves playing with Party's hair

Even after they start dating, Party calls him Pepsi, mainly because they know it annoys him. Cherri tried to clap back with a stupid nickname of his own, but it backfired horribly and Party ended up loving it

the only time Cherri ever cried in his entire life was when Pony told him that Party's mask was missing and couldn't be put in the mailbox.

They often break into his house at midnight with no explanation. Cherri's gotten used to it at this point

if you listen closely, you can hear them giggling in the background when Cherri does his poetry section. If it's ever too loud, the Fab Four or the WKIL crew will record it

these recordings are the most precious thing in Cherri's life after losing them- it's pretty much all he has left to keep him from forgetting Poison's voice. Pony once accidentally broke one, and ever since then, ae's been banned from his house

Jet, without fail, gives them an anniversary present every year, and so does Dr. D. It's how they find out it's their anniversary, since they don't bother keeping track of that stuff

it doesn't help that they both give it on different days, so they just start making up days until every alternate day is some reason to celebrate

The first time they said I love you, Cherri said it first while drunk, and Party said it back thinking he didn't mean it

they both pretended not to remember it the next day, even though they did

the second time they said I love you was when Party had to go into the city, and Cherri doesn't know if they heard him say it back under his breathe.

Cherri stole a wanted poster of Party from the hearts of Bat City that Newsie doodled hearts all over and wrote 'C+P 4ever' in one of the hearts. it hangs there well past anyone who knows what any of it means has died

they often exchange art pieces- Cherri with poems he wrote, and Poison with drawings they made

[stabbyfoxandrew]

May I also request also a little bit of Vampire Andrew 🙏🤍?

If Neil were to be hit with the racquet again in the first meeting and for some reason fall and get scratched, I can only wish him to have a terrible blood 😅

WIP Wednesday (9/27)  | Vampire Andrew AU

Luckily, the roadkill stench is less obvious in the stands. Andrew can still smell it, but it’s heavily masked by the hundred or so humans crowded around him. The bad part about sitting in the stands though, is that all these small town idiots have at least semi-functioning brains. Andrew’s got a migraine before the game even starts. 

One woman hates that her daughter doesn’t get as much play time, a man considers whether he wants Coke or Pepsi, a couple little kids are playing under the bleachers and thinking about how fun it would be for them to get to play. Andrew inhales his popcorn, sharing with Coach when he reaches for it. The bag is nearly as big as Andrew’s head, so there’s plenty to go around. Until Kevin tries to get a handful. Andrew moves it out of his path and Kevin turns to look at him, looking like dog begging for a bone.

“Can I have some?”

“Yes.” Andrew relents and lets Kevin take as much as he wants. Then the game actually kicks off and Andrew goes back to trying to ignore the onslaught of thoughts around him, but it’s nearly impossible. He much prefers games where he’s on the court. 

Andrew’s brow furrows. Did he really just think that? Thankfully, Kevin isn’t the one with powers. If he'd heard that, he'd never let Andrew hear the end of it.

What Andrew meant is that the fishbowl over the court seems to help shield his mind. Somehow. He doesn’t know how it works, but that’s the part he likes. The dampening effect. Not the game. And certainly not the players.

<- previous | first | next->

[mannytoodope]

Krista: Perhaps we should start with how you’re feeling. Elliott: Not good. Krista: What’s not good right now? Elliott: Everything. Krista: Humor me with some specifics.

Elliot: How do we know if we're in control? That we're not just making the best of what comes at us, and that's it? Trying to constantly pick between two shitty options? Like your two paintings in the waiting room. Or... Coke and Pepsi? McDonald's or Burger King? Hyundai or Honda? Hmm. It's all part of the same blur, right? Just out of focus enough. It's an illusion of choice. Half of us need help picking our cable, gas, or electric. The water we drink, and our health insurance. Even if we did, would it matter? What is the difference if our only option is Blue Cross or Blue Shield? In fact, aren't they... aren't they the same? No, man... our choices were a long time ago.No, man, our options were prepaid for us a long time ago.

Krista: I’m sorry you feel you have no control.

Eliott: I thought I was doing something good. I was part of this project. I thought I was gonna be a part of something special.

[atsadi-shenanigans]

Feeding Alligators 24 - From Druids, With Love

Y'all fight a swamp, Lae'zel is a cornered alley cat, and the group rethinks their life choices.

Rated M for language and violence.

On AO3.

The good news is y’all find a path to that island with the big tree so y’all don’t have to wade through murky, probably leech-infested swamp water.

The bad news is that there’s monsters crawling all over the island once y’all get there.

“Shitfuck!” you holler.

Bunch of flying, gremlin fuckers fucking explode when they die. You been knocked flat on your back with all the air slammed out of you twice, now. And that was before the swamp ents emerged to rip the roots out of the ground and send them writhing around like fucking snakes.

Lae’zel is chopping at one of them roots, yelling something about her queen. Shadowheart snarls between casting spells left and right, trying to either shield y’all from getting hit, or repairing the likely internal bleeding when you (especially you) get hit.

You’d feel better if you got run over by a goddamn bus.

But you still shove yourself back on your feet as another fucking mud gremlin shrieks and comes flapping at you—

The arrow just appears in its skull. Fucking thing drops like a sack of stones. Skids in the mud y’all’ve been slipping and sliding through, and starts fucking twitching at your feet. This one does not explode, thank fuck.

You look up. Astarion catches your eye, another arrow already knocked in the bow he’d found somewhere. Can’t even wave a thanks, because he’s taking aim at the swamp ent charging you. He shoots it where the eye should be.

Fucker doesn’t even slow—

It swats out. The impact crashes through you. Feet leave the ground as something gives in your chest and you go weightless. Until you smack into the water and bounce off the shallow bottom. Surface wheezing, gasping for air through ribs that scream. Fuck, they gotta be broken fuck.

A shout. Lae’zel charges another swamp ent. Her big fuck off sword arcs down. Hits the thing’s arm. And gets stuck partway through. She pauses for a fraction of a second, and then readjusts her grip to yank it free. But those fuckers are way faster than something that big ought to be.

It slams her. Smacks her flying into the big ass tree. She crashes with a clang of metal and, even worse, a cry.

“Ignis!” Gale’s voice reverberates as a bolt of fire roars past.

The swamp ent flinches away. Kicks one tree trunk leg high—

“Shadowheart,” you wheeze.

Brings it down in a rippling wave of torn dirt and roots that take Shadowheart clean off her feet and bury her.

“Fuck fuck!”

This was your idea. You brought everyone here. They followed you for some fucking reason, and they should have known better. You should have known better. You’re incompetent, incapable, and they’re all going to die because of you.

“Ignis!” Not Gale. Astarion lobs a bolt of fire. This one grazes the swamp ent. This time, the motherfucker screeches. It sounds like wood squealing; you hear that in Oklahoma after an ice storm, the branches coated in inches of frozen rain, the weight too much so limbs rip off in the night with that same sound.

Fire hurts it. Not swords or arrows or three, red (phaser) magic blasts Gale chucks.

They’re trees. They’re made of wood.

“I’m fucking stupid!” you say and slosh back to shore. Fall to your knees. White out for a second as your ribcage jolts and all your internal organs sort of freeze.

Gale and Astarion have taken the high ground on some tiny ass bluff. With the girls down, everything converges on them.

You grab your bag and upend it in the mud. No time for care. Paw through the jumble of your stuff. You know you have one. You’d picked it up at some point, or maybe it just came with the pack, but you know you have one. Bottle about the size of a pepsi. No markings, no—ah!

A plain, brown bottle with a faded, blank label. You’d been peering into it when Gale had sauntered by one time.

You’re not fast. You’re not strong. You can’t swing a sword or utter a lick of magic.

But by god, you can throw a fucking bottle.

It twirls through the air. Clips the shoulder of one swamp ent to burst all over the backside of the other. Grease spatters everywhere.

“Fire!” you say as best you can and then pass out for just a second. It’s not enough for Gale to catch over the cacophony of the fight.

But Astarion, with his stupid vampire elf ears, turns. Spots you. Follow your cringing gesture to the shards of brown glass and the shine coating the swamp ent.

He grins. “Ignis!”

Big, wooden bitch goes up like a christmas tree soaked in kerosene. It goes up so fast and so strong, it catches the other one on fire, too.

Without their big buddies around to protect them, Astarion and Gale make short work of the mud gremlins.

And that’s that. The fight is fucking over.

You can roll onto your back (suck in a gasp at the pain which makes it about eighteen times worse). Spend a few seconds not breathing, not moving as your chest spasms and the pain chews through your brain.

Cool hands touch the side of your neck. Sweat and swamp muck and the vague scent of wet rot. But beneath that, something light and floral.

Shadowheart frowns down at you. Sees you looking and gives a nod. She says her prayer and her hands light up and sweet, sweet relief washes through you like water over a cracked and broken riverbed.

You slump into a boneless sprawl.

“Thank you,” you say.

She starts to stand. Probably to go over and make sure Lae’zel has a pulse—the others call her a cleric, and apparently that means some kind of team medic. She takes that very seriously.

You catch her wrist just long enough to catch her attention. “Gale says we’re low on potions. Please don’t give her one, if you still got magic.”

She arches an eyebrow. “She won’t take that advice from me, you know.”

You close your eyes. Sigh. “God fucking damnit.”

And you roll, slowly, painfully, to your feet.

***

Shadowheart is correct. You’ve had an easier time bathing a cat in water than you do convincing Lae’zel to let Shadowheart heal her. The solution is damn near the same for both.

“Gale, you can paralyze people for a second, right?” you say.

He frowns, lips shaping “paralyze”, and his brows lift. “Hold person. Yes, I very much can.”

Lae’zel’s glare could probably punch through tank armor. “You would not dare.”

You look at her for a full three seconds. Then, “I’m fucking tired. I’m covered in filth, we’re in the middle of a goddamn swamp getting eaten by bugs, and there’s some kinda hag lurking around which sounds very scary. This is the fastest way.”

In the end, after a shit ton of grumbling, she lets Shadowheart lay on the jesus hands. Shadowheart does the job, but wincing and sneering the whole time. You’ve seen alley cats greet each other with better manners.

But it’s done. Y’all loot bodies for parts (mud gremlin pieces can be boiled down and rendered into one of the ingredients for Gale’s dirt potion, so that’s a badly needed win). Astarion finds some kind of thief gloves. Shadowheart and Lae’zel stand as far apart as they can while still, technically, remaining within the group perimeter.

And you find a chest with gold, a ring that glows faintly, and a shirt that has not a single fucking blood stain on it anywhere (you do not tear up). And while you’re totally not swiping your face with your wet, stinking, current shirtsleeve, you notice the crack in the tree.

Within, is another letter. You can’t read it, of course. Which leaves you in a conundrum.

Gale seems the most trustworthy. But you only got this far because of what Astarion found (and eventually shared). He’s also seen you in your least savory moments, and hasn’t appeared to have shared that with any of the others.

You hand the letter to him. And the entire group seems to rethink the life choices that lead to them following after you.

Except for Astarion, who lifts his eyebrows before giving a tiny tilt of his head that isn’t quite a bow. He cracks the seal. Reads silently. Says, “Oh, this is delicious.”

Bitch better not hold this against you again. He’s gonna do it. Gonna blackmail you or tease you or just in general be a dick. So when he looks at you and says, “Looks like you were correct, my dear” you almost think the dirt potion wore off.

Astarion skims the letter again, eyes tracking back and forth in a blur, and then he hands the letter to Shadowheart.

“Someone is helping Kahga with the promise of making her First Druid,” he says. “Should she succeed in finishing whatever that ritual they were all chanting.”

“A coup,” Gale says. He regards you a moment. Gives a nod. “Those was good instincts you had, Eleanor.”

Which isn’t a sentence you hear often. Maybe never.

“What are the shadow druids?” Shadowheart says.

“I’ve no idea. My scholarly pursuits did not veer into that field of study.”

The name sounds ominous. You look to Astarion, who stares back a moment before sighing and repeating the letter in full (the letter itself now in Gale’s hands).

“A power struggle,” you say after he’s done.

“So it would seem,” he says. And there’s something in the way he looks at you.

You pause a moment, thinking. You’ll need to poke around at the grove. See what the political landscape actually is. If too many know about Kahga’s intentions, your best bet might just be getting the tieflings out.

But.

Kahga and the douchecanoe she’s writing to have gone through a lot of trouble to hide this. Which you suspect means her support would be weak if others knew. If her faction is outnumbered, revealing her might just do the trick. At least remove her from the direct reins of power. Jam up her machinations and stall whatever’s going on. Give everyone some needed breathing room.

You need to head back. Do some scouting.

…everyone else is looking at you now, too—though Lae’zel appears to be trying to peel off you skin by glare alone (oh god, she’s going to wreck your shit if she gives you another workout, isn’t she).

“What?” you say.

“Your plan,” Astarion says. “Whatever devious scheme you’ve got flitting about in there.”

That…sounds like some kind of leadership thing. Which you aren’t. Because that would be a terrible idea. Everyone knows that. You can barely lead yourself out of bed every morning back home. You cannot be expected to do…whatever this shit is.

You open your mouth to explain that. Make them see how terrible that will be, both for them and for you. Only Gale interjects something. And you…do not understand a single word.

You look at him with horror sinking through your guts. Watch his lips move, his words rolling and strange, and no magical voiceover or translation pops into your head. You used your last potion last night because Astarion fucking could not resist chomping on your neck like it was a fucking ribeye in the middle of the night.

“Oh fuck me,” you say.

And none of them can make fun that phrase, because none of them speak English.

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