#Pining Sirius Black

[engie-ivy]

(Fic I didn't know I wanted to write! So thank you for the inspiration, @wolfstarmicrofic!)

28th: Dogwalker AU

673 words

Some good old mutual pining between a dogwalker and his client!

Date My Hooman?

“Has he been a good boy?” Sirius is sitting on his knees, scratching Padfoot’s ears (and making quite the sight while doing so).

Remus crosses his arms over his chest. “Now you're just fishing for compliments. You know damn well Padfoot’s always a good boy.”

Sirius grins up at him. “Guilty as charged.” He looks back at Padfoot who's thoroughly enjoying his ear scratches. “I know my dog is great, but I love hearing other people tell me that my dog is great also.”

“Right you are,” Remus chuckles. “How was your day at the office?”

“Dreadfully dull,” Sirius replies instantly. “Really, Remus, you made some good career choices that you now get to play with dogs all day.”

“Well, I don't get to live in a house like that.” Remus nods towards Sirius’ three-story mansion with the sprawling garden around it.

Sirius winks at him as he gets up to his feet. “Maybe if you play your cards right.”

Remus can feel his cheeks heating up.

Before, he was just amused by Sirius’ flirtatious banter, and he actually gave it as good as he got. But now, he suddenly feels flustered, at a loss for words, and wholly out of his depth whenever Sirius makes a comment like that.

After long conversations, with Sirius being the last stop on Remus’ afternoon route, and being subjected to Sirius’ sharp mind and disarming sense of humour, things have changed for Remus.

He used to think that the best part of his day would always be seeing the excitement on a dog’s face when he reaches out to unclip their leash to let them run around the park and play with their friends, but now, it's like nothing compares to seeing the excitement on Sirius’ face at the end of the day as he crouches down to greet his beloved dog after long hours the office. Remus’ days have started to revolve around the moments he brings Padfoot home, and it's becoming A Problem.

“And that's not even taking into account cold, rain, new regulations, demanding clients,” Remus continues, as if he didn't hear Sirius’ last comment.

Then Remus’ own dog, Moony, dashes forward and starts licking a tail-wagging Padfoot’s face, like he knows he has to say goodbye to his friend for now, and Remus’ heart just melts. “Oh, who am I kidding? It's bloody amazing.”

When the dogs have said their goodbyes, it's time for their owners to do so as well.

“See you tomorrow?” Sirius asks.

“Of course.”

“Great.” Sirius beams at him. “Looking forward to it.”

Remus’ heart skips a beat at those words. Yes, definitely A Problem.

Sirius has given Remus the key to the annex besides the main house, so he can pick up Padfoot, take him for a long walk, and then, by the time they return, Sirius will be back from the office and usually already waiting on them.

Sirius has actually turned the annex into a space especially for Padfoot, with water and food, several dog beds, toys, and a dog door, so he can go in and out to the yard whenever he wants. Sirius has even hung framed pictures on the walls of him and Padfoot together. A fuzzy feeling spreads across Remus’ chest upon seeing those pictures. A Problem indeed.

Padfoot immediately comes running, happily wagging his tail, brimming with excitement to go on his walk.

“Calm down, Pads,” Remus laughs, as the dog keeps circling his legs and jumping up and down. “Come on, I need to attach your leash, otherwise we can't go. Hey, what you've got there, buddy?” He spots a piece of paper neatly tucked underneath Padfoot’s collar and he plucks it out. As he unfolds it, he realizes it's a note.

And as he reads, a huge smile starts to spread across Remus’ face.

Dear Remus,

You might have noticed that my hooman has quite a crush on you.

Will you please save me from his desperate pining, and let my hooman take you out on a date?

[wolfstarshipping]

everybody else looks like they’ve figured it out (15.015 words) by spellingmynamewrong

university AU

Summary:

Of course Sirius remembers Remus. Of course he remembers when they first met, three months ago at some wine night hosted by Dorcas, and Remus had been brought along as a potential set-up opportunity for Lily, and once James figured that out, Sirius had been delegated to running interference and making small talk with Remus for the duration of the night, at which point he discovered, rather unfortunately, that Remus was not only unbearably gorgeous and interesting and certainly Lily’s type, but also his own type, and Sirius made the mistake of giving Remus his number and saying they should hang out, and then Remus pocketed his phone, smiled, and said, “Great, I’m always looking to make more friends!”

Or: a week in the life of Sirius Black, struggling Oxford student and (reluctant) hopeless romantic.

Comment:

I'm always a sucker for a good university AU and this one didn't disappoint, I really enjoyed all of Sirius's pining and Remus's obliviousness!

[plantsonplutoart]

here’s Wolfstar being a couple of menaces and driving James up the wall while he’s trying to study (he’s only “studying” in the library in attempt to impress lily, so no harm done)

I’ve been hoarding a bunch of Marauders scribbles I’ll probably never clean up so expect more incoherent chaos

[maiiefizz]

I just realised

James for Wolfstar

is the same as

Regulus for Rosekiller

The best friend who has to watch his best friends pine for each other.

And... Pandora??

...

Pandora is Pete.

Trying to help, to fix things, but it blew up.

[my-castles-crumbling]

Sirius Black, who would jokingly suggest that Remus date some girl, then have no idea why he's so mad when Remus follows his advice.

Remus Lupin, who would date whatever girl Sirius's suggested, but be looking at Sirius the whole time.

James Potter. who would bang his head against the wall watching this occur.

[sourgreenlupin]

sirius: remus? (holding remus as tight as possible)

remus: sirius?

sirius: do friends normally do this?

remus: well-

james: (somewhere in the distance) NO! NO THEY DO NOT!

[imjustherefortheshipping]

Sirius is so obvious with his feelings, he’s wearing his heart on his sleeve and is constantly glancing at Remus with the most besotted expression

Everyone can see it - except Remus because his brain immediately goes static as soon as he looks at Sirius and all he can think is “pretty pretty pretty”

[orangemuffinss]

I don’t want to read slow burns, I WANT THEM TO FALL IN LOVE THE MOMENT THEY SEE EACH OTHER, I WANT THEM TO PINE OVER EACH OTHER, I WANT EVERYONE EXCEPT THEM TO KNOW THAT THEYRE IN LOVE WITH EACH OTHER

[cornishpixiez]

lazy skate co, part 2

here's part 1

part 3 ;)

[engie-ivy]

(I don't write from Sirius' perspective often, mostly prefer writing Remus being smitten with Sirius😋, but I couldn't resist some Padfoot & Prongs friendship! Of course Sirius and Remus are still smitten with each other😉)

1675 words.

Sirius hates waking up early. Sirius definitely hates being woken up early to talk about Remus' bloody ex. But the tea James brings might just be worth getting up early for...

Morning Tea

Sirius is still half asleep when he opens the door, wearing the old sweater he threw on when he heard the knocking, bleary eyed and his hair sticking up in all directions.

“Morning!” James says cheerfully, wearing a crisp button-down and big sunglasses, carrying two paper cups with steam coming from them. He looks fresh and awake, and much, much too cheerful, because of course James Potter is a Morning Person.

“Wha-?” Sirius says groggily.

James is already walking past him into Sirius’ apartment, shoving one of the cups in Sirius’ hand in the process. “I’ve got some tea for you that needs to be served while it’s hot!”

Sirius sniffs the cup. “This is coffee.”

James turns back around in the hallway and looks at Sirius from over the top of his sunglasses. “Metaphorical tea, Padfoot, metaphorical tea.”

When Sirius steps into his kitchen, James is already sitting at the table.

“So,” James begins the moment Sirius sits down. “Lily came over for dinner yesterday-”

“Right. How was she? Has she-”

“Not important right now,” James cuts him off. “Come on, Padfoot, focus!”

Deciding that staying silent is probably the best approach, Sirius takes a careful sip from his coffee.

“So, Lily came over, and she told me she had spent the day at Marlene’s,” James continues. “And as she was there, Mary dropped by to return some shirt she had borrowed from Marlene, and Lily said that Mary then had quite the story to tell them!”

James’ eyes sparkle with excitement, and Sirius begins to feel something approaching curiosity through the fog of sleepiness.

“Mary had a Pilates class the other day, and afterwards, she and Amelia- you know that Mary takes Pilates classes with Amelia, right?- well, she and Amelia went to get coffee afterwards.”

Sirius does his best to keep track of it all. Lily, who was at Marlene’s with Mary, who had Pilates class, and then coffee, with Amelia, and- who the hell even is Amelia? The name sounds vaguely familiar, but as James does not seem to appreciate questions interrupting his story, Sirius decides to just wait to see where he’s going with it.

“Now Amelia was meeting her brother later, so while Mary was having coffee with her, at some point Edgar actually joined them.”

Edgar.

Of course, that’s how they know Amelia. She’s Edgar’s sister. And Sirius definitely remembers Edgar. Remus’ ex.

“Edgar,” Sirius says in a slightly-trying-too-hard-to-be-casual voice. “How is he?”

The look James gives him lets Sirius know he’s not fooled. James doesn’t comment on it, though. “He’s good,” he replies. “Mary mentioned to him that she actually hadn’t talked to him since the break-up.”

That seems obvious to Sirius. And perfectly fine. Remus was their only connection to Edgar. The last thing he needs is Edgar coming back into their lives. Coming back into Remus’ life.

“So Mary asked him why they broke up, you know, because we’ve never heard his side of the story.”

“Who cares about his side of the story?” Sirius snaps. “We’re Remus’ friends, not Edgar’s. Remus’ side is our side.”

“Of course, of course,” James says, holding up a hand placatingly. “But Remus hasn’t been telling us much, now has he? He doesn’t really talk about the break-up.”

“He said they wanted different things,” Sirius replies curtly. Good enough an explanation for him. He’s fine with not talking about it further. He’s fine with pretending the whole Edgar-saga didn’t happen.

“That can mean a lot of things,” James says, and then he seems to suddenly remember something. “And do you know what Marlene said Dorcas told her? The other week, the Art History group organised some beginning-of-the-semester drinks that she and Remus both went to, and you know what Dorcas is like when she gets tipsy, the girl has no filter. She kept pestering Remus about what exactly had happened between him and Edgar, wouldn’t let it go, and eventually, Remus told her to drop it, because it was something he did not want to talk about!”

James looks at Sirius expectantly, like he’s supposed to be baffled by this revelation.

Sirius just blinks at him.

James sighs. “Don’t you see, Padfoot? That proves there’s more to the story than what Remus has been telling us!”

“Fine,” Sirius says, rolling his eyes. “Let’s hear it then. What did Edgar have to say?”

“Well, having heard this story from Dorcas, Mary wanted-”

“I thought she heard the story from Marlene?”

“Lily told me that Marlene told her about the party while Mary was there, yes,” James says, sounding like a parent explaining something to their child for the tenth time and trying, unsuccessfully, to hide their exasperation. “But Mary had already heard about it before from Dorcas, so she already knew about Remus’ evasiveness while she was talking to Edgar, while Lily didn’t hear about Dorcas’ chat with Remus until Marlene told the story, which she only did because Mary was telling her story about her chat with Edgar.”

Sirius isn’t even gonna try. It’s too damn early for this, especially before he’s even finished his first cup of coffee.

“So like I said,” James continues. “Mary knew there’s something about the break-up Remus has been keeping from us, and she wanted to know what Edgar had to say,” James leans forward over the kitchen table with a big smile on his face. “And guess what Edgar said about why he broke up with Remus?”

“He finally realized Remus is much too good for him and he doesn’t deserve him?” Sirius offers.

James’ smile just grows. “Even better. He said they broke up because... Remus was clearly already in love with his friend!” James sits back on his chair crossing his arms over his chest and looking at Sirius with a triumphant grin.

Sirius tries his best to keep his face neutral and ignore the somersaults his stomach is making. “Remus has a lot of friends,” he says, in what he hopes is a calm voice, not meeting James’ gaze, choosing instead to focus on pulling at a loose thread at the sleeve of his sweater.

James rolls his eyes. “Okay, okay. I’ll play along and I’ll give you that one. Remus does have a lot of friends. But lucky for us, Mary is like a dog with a bone, and she wasn’t just going to drop it. So she asked Edgar what made him think that, to which Edgar replied, and I quote,” James thinks about it for a moment, and then corrects “Well, I quote Lily, who quoted Mary, who quoted Edgar, but still, I quote ‘when we went to his friend’s piano recital, Remus was looking at him with so much fondness, he never looked at me like that, and at Remus’ dissertation, Remus met his gaze every time he got nervous and he was the first person Remus ran up to and hugged after he got his doctorate, and at Lily’s party, from the moment he got there, it was like Remus didn’t notice anyone else in the room anymore’. So,” James says smugly. “Tell me, how many friends does Remus have who play piano recitals, were the first one to hug Dr Lupin, and arrived a bit late at Lily’s party?”

“One,” Sirius mumbles, still focused on the loose thread hanging from his sleeve, feeling his cheeks heat up.

“And that is...”

“Me,” Sirius replies, then he lifts his head to look at James. “But still Prongs! That’s just Edgar’s perception! Maybe he’s overly jealous, or completely paranoid, and seeing things that aren’t there. Those things don’t have to be true!”

“But they are true!” James counters. He shakes his head. “I never really thought about it before, maybe because I’m used to it, but you are the only one Remus looks at like you’re the centre of the bloody universe, you are the face Remus always searches in the crowd, and you are the only person Remus sees whenever you enter a room!”

Sirius bites his lip. “None of that stopped him from dating Edgar in the first place.” Because Sirius hasn’t forgotten how he once before allowed himself to believe that maybe Remus felt the same way about him as he feels about Remus, and how it lead to him being completely blind-sighted when Remus started dating Edgar.

James sighs. “Maybe Remus didn’t realise his feelings before.”

“Before?”

The grin returns on James’ face. “Yes, after Edgar told Mary his story, Mary said she was sorry,-”

Sirius can understand that. He can’t think of anything worse ever happening to anyone than losing Remus.

“-but Edgar told her it’s fine,” James says eagerly. “He said they had a good break-up. He confronted Remus with his suspicions, and then Remus opened up to him, they had a good talk, and parted as friends.”

As Sirius stays silent, James exclaims “Remus opened up to him, Padfoot! Not Remus denied it, not Remus said he was being ridiculous, no, Remus opened up to him! That’s basically Remus admitting it’s true!”

The smile on James’ face is contagious and Sirius can feel one beginning to spread over his own face. He covers his face with his hands, but can’t hide the smile. “Prongs...”

“I know, Padfoot, I know!”

Sirius lowers his hands, grinning like an idiot. “What do I do, Prongs?”

James leans forward over the table and strokes his chin in thought. “Well, I’ve thought about it long and hard, and I’ve come up with an ingenious plan that, if executed correctly, might prove successful...”

“What’s that?” Sirius asks.

James smacks him on the head. “Ask him out, you plonker!”

“Sirius Black awake before ten?” Remus gasps in pretend-shock the moment he answers the phone. “Should I be worried?”

Sirius just loves hearing the laughter in Remus’ voice. A warm feeling spreads across his chest simply upon hearing that voice. God, he’s really got it bad, doesn’t he?

“Well, Rem,” Sirius says. “As it turns out, some things are worth waking up early for.”

[moon-saturn-and-everything-else]

oh tragic siblings. oh grief and resentment. oh old memories that taste bitter and like bubble gum. oh siblings that feel closer to strangers. oh memories that can’t be forgotten. oh i would not be me if i had not been raised with you. oh tragic siblings.

[perpetuallydaydreaming]

will you marry me?

5 times remus has asked you to marry him and 1 extra.

tags: remus lupin x f!reader,, fluff,, angst,, no mention of the word y/n,, childhood friends to lovers,, mutual pining,, character death

first time at 5 years old;

your eldest sister was off to marry in spring and so naturally the whole house was buzzing with excitement and terror. and you, like any impressionable child, felt the tingles of something exciting happening before your very eyes.

lulu, your best ultimate mate as you so graciously dubbed him, felt this energy too.

or at least the many flowers and coloured envelopes scattered on the table, seem to ring some alarms for him.

“this table is too small,” he frowns, stopping his pretend chopping of the leaves, and looking longingly at the dinner table, filled with scattered wedding paraphernalia.

you shrugged, ponytail swishing as you move around him.

“we have to make room, my sister is to be mary.” you confidently repeated what your mum said to you in the morning. when you had whined at the lack of play space.

now you’re humming like it’s obvious, why you were given a child’s table and now have to play kitchen with one pot instead of four because of the lack of space. the confident pretence of a child to show they’re mature enough not to complain.

“why does she have to be mary?” he asks, his shoulder bumping into you, “i thought she likes her name hilda?”

you scoff, clearly lulu does not know of the way of being mary. so naturally, you being older (by a few months) needs to teach him. or else, however is he going to be a proper grown up?

“because she wants to be a wife. so she has to be mary first.”

“a wife?” he asks intrigued, “like mummy and daddy?”

you laugh, patting his head, “only mummies can be a wife, silly. daddies are hus-butts.” you stood straighter, having this conversation with your mum before. “mother says, you have to love first and then be a mary. so you can play with them even after dinner and eat chocolates and make children.”

he seems to perk up even more, looking at you. his eyes as usual, gleaming with obvious awe, “to make children? with what?”

you pout, having no answer.

you haven’t asked your mum this question yet. too busy thinking of how many mary’s there are in your town.

still, you try to think of an answer.

you don’t want to let lulu down, you are after all his only hope for knowing things.

luckily, you’ve overheard this one conversation last week, your sister moving after she becomes mary so they can begin making a family.

you raise your head, hand on your hip and your other pointed as if in a lecture.

you said in your most confident voice. “you enter specific rooms in the house, and always make sure it’s locked. and then you wait until you can come out with children. but you must only do this if you love them. that is the ultimate rule. or else it won’t work.”

“wow,” he breathed, he clenched his fists then, looking utmost determined. before screaming in glee and confidence, the only way a naive child could. “then let’s make children! be mary and then we can play all night!”

you clicked your tongue, disappointed he hadn’t comprehended. “but you should love me first.”

his cheeks heated pink, indignant, “but i do. i love you a whole lot! and i wanna play here all the time.”

you shook your head, grim. “we can’t.” sounding so heartbroken, as much as any five year old could sound.

because you’ve already asked your mum if you could make children with lulu and she said, you’re only suppose to do that if you’re a grown up in love.

you asked, what’s the difference? you were plenty grown. 5 is one hand after all.

and your sister said to you, amusement lacing her words, a grown up to take care of you and cherish you. someone able to help you and grow with you.

you look at lulu. his thin arms and his lack of knowledge.

certainly not a grown up. not a proper man who can be with you, at all.

“i don’t love you, so we can’t.” you say this huffing, now turning completely to your make shift pot and stirring the water and leaves.

lulu cried loud that day, wailing like a little kid.

and nodding to yourself knowing you’ve made the right choice. he is so not a grown up. even if his pinched face made you feel queasy.

your mum rushing over and asking what was wrong. when you told her, she laughed out loud, and hugged you both, brushing remus’ hair out of his tear streaked face.

and you wonder what was so funny when he looked so sad.

second time at 11 years old;

remy was horrified.

you realize this as he stares at you in a crazed panic. and as always, it was up to you to be strong.

“what do you mean by that?” puffing your chest out and stood to cover remy from potter.

“didn’t you know? kissing makes girls pregnant.” he whispered, loudly in the empty halls, scandalized as he went to look at your stomach as if it will inflate this instant.

you fight the urge to cover that area with your robes. willing yourself to be brave for the both of you.

“surely… that isn’t true.”

potter scoffs, offended to have been doubted, “yes it is, i heard a prefect say so.”

you feel remy grab the back of your robes in panic. the reference enough to persuade him. you almost roll your eyes, but instead sighed to calm yourself down.

“i ought to tell you lot to be careful.” potter looked at the both of you meaningfully, and inhaling sharply as a flash of embarrassment burns into your brain.

you weren’t able to will the heat of your cheeks to dissipate, before it showed on your cheeks. your face and neck warmed red. mortified that potter knows the secret kiss shared between you and your friend, currently pulling at your robes.

it was both of your first kiss, deciding to just get it all over with, so you both can know what was so special about it.

it wasn’t much.

it felt soft, and quick.

nothing at all sparkling or romantic, like others said.

“alert your parents immediately, else you might be kicked out. and i’ve grown quite fond of the two of you, you know.” potter nodded at you, looking as if he pitied you both before crossing his arms as he strutted away.

you look at remy fully now. he was standing too close and still holding unto your robes like a lifeline.

“did you really have to tell potter of all people what we did?” you scoff, crossing your arms and tapping your feet like how your mother used to do it when she was cross with something.

he seemed to shrink into himself more, “i’m sorry, he said he saw it, and pestered me into confessing.” he bit his lips to bleed. “i didn’t know you were gonna be in trouble.” he sniffled.

and you immediately cooled, reaching forward and pulling at his chin to stop his assault and softly rubbing at his bleeding lips with your robes with another click of your tongue.

“it’s fine, he already saw, nothing else we can do.”

“so, what are we going to do now?” he asked softly, he looked at you, eyes filling with worry and sadness. “what if you are? we’ll get in trouble, won’t we?”

you bring down your arm now, before breathing out deeply.

you try to think of why it wouldn’t be true, but the tone of his voice was making you worry endlessly too.

even though you know it wasn’t all true, because your sister kissed her husband plenty of times in the house and they don’t have kids.

and you were about to point that out to him. to reassure your ever warm, too soft friend, that james potter was full of it and to relax.

but remy stood straighter, his cold hands gripping yours tightly, so much that it hurts. now standing a bit taller than you. pink lips pulled into a straight line and eyes looking straight at you. soft brown eyes no longer holding any worry, instead with resolute determination.

“marry me,” he said, “i promise to look after our children and work.” he nodded at you, as if urging you to say yes. to trust him.

a look entirely different from what you remembered from way before, yet feeling all the same regardless.

the reason of proposal was ridiculous in of itself that you couldn’t help but laugh.

“i’m not pregnant you dolt, pregnancy doesn’t work that way. i assure you.” rolling your eyes in amusement. “so don’t you go proposing like some weirdo.”

he stopped for a second, as if startled as he kept looking at you. before leaving a shaky sigh, head hanging low.

“okay,” his lips in a wobbly smile, looking weird. “good.”

third time at 17 years old;

sirius had managed to sneak in a case of firewhisky in one winning after-party in the common room.

it was safe to assume that everyone was positively sloshed. if judging from the slurring exclaims from james and a red face peter barely able to stand and sirius laughing maniacally at something marlene has said to him.

and remus being the self-appointed responsible one, had taken it upon himself to maintain sobriety the entire night. to look after the three of them in the aftermath.

resolutely sitting next to you the whole night, engaging in a missed conversation about gossip and literature.

“still feeling confident you can handle these three blokes up in your room?”

he grimaced, already rubbing his temples, probably from regret and the james’ incessant off-key singing. “i don’t really have much of a choice now, do i?”

you laugh easy, “with the way james is attempting to strip, i think not. you did volunteer, taking responsibility and what not.”

he sighed rather audibly, over the soft music of the party that was already dying down. most of the attendees already settling into their respective rooms.

and you look at remus, slumped into the chair, and laugh to yourself.

still so helpless, you think. you guess you had to step up again. pick up the slack a little bit.

you try to trick yourself into thinking you were tired and miffed about it, but you find you quite like feeling needed. especially by remus.

whom of which seems to be way into being responsible now and being a proper grown up. one that follows curfew and plans his day.

he barely looks at you for help anymore.

he always has an answer to questions now.

as the boys depend on him for being the responsible one in their little foursome.

off to late night adventures and pranks. no longer the crying, awe struck, nervous kid you grew up knowing. makes you feel kind of sad.

“alright then,” you exhaled, “i’ll lend you a hand for dealing with the demons.” you stood up whilst downing your drink, a sweet concoction by dorcas.

he looks up at you, eyes looking bloodshot and tired. he softly shook his head, “you don’t have to.”

you frown, clicking your tongue and placing a hand on each of your hips. “i said i’ll do it, so i’m going to. now stand up and let’s go.”

he looked at you just a second longer and sighs looking away, a soft smile etched on lips before looking at you again. looking won over.

standing up, dusting the invisible dirt on his trousers and nodding.

he towers over you now, seemingly out of no where.

you realize this as your neck strain looking up at him. as you gather the rowdy, intoxicated boys back to the dorms.

something sirius was extremely grateful for and the others echoed.

“thanks for— for taking care of me darling,” sirius breathed hot into your face before pecking you on the cheek.

“yes, you’re very welcome,” you hummed amused, tucking his covers into his sides, making sure he couldn’t move out of bed.

sirius giggles, “it feels like being tucked in by a mum,” before looking at you serious, eyes wide and looking more sober than he actually was, as if realizing something.

“you’re the mum in the group!” he exclaimed.

“im the what?”

james overhears this and exclaims his agreements.

“oh you are! you’re the perfect mum size!” james said.

you turn to him, “and what’s that supposed to mean?” you ask hotly.

“you’re very caring and mum-like, and you scold like a mum too, sometimes you even talk like one,” peter mumbled.

you look at remus, giving you an amused look, lips stretching like close to laughing.

“this is going to be the last time i’m helping you lot, if you call me mum one more time.” you threatened lightly.

sirius hums loud like he doesn’t believe you, “it’s not all bad, not like you’re gonna be a single-mum. remus is gonna be the dad after all.” he said like he was so sure.

and james, of ourse, echoed his agreements.

“obviously,” james tutted from his bed, tucked in tight by remus.

“yesh,” peter slurred, “he looks like—remus looks like he knows how to read maps.” he breathes out, like on a verge of sleeping.

james gasps, “he does! remus is a map reading dad, nothing has made more sense than this moment right here. you are meant to hold a map in your hands remus, you’re a daddy compass.”

remus looks perturbed, eyebrows scrunched and lips into a tight frown. he shakes his head then, before closing each of their curtains, not even bothering to justify james’ quip. “night lads,”

“night dad,” sirius teased from his bed, before shuddering excessively, “never thought i’d say that again.”

you snort out a laugh before you could help it. “good night everyone.”

you look at remus, and see him gesture to come outside.

quietly walking out of their room and closing the door behind you.

“come, i’ll walk you out.” grabbing your hand softly and pulling you down the corridor to the stairs. dropping his hold just as quick as if he hadn’t meant to hold it in the first place.

“sorry about the lads, the lack of filter is unfortunately not the effect of alcohol but is just them naturally.”

you chuckle softly, rubbing your tingling palms on the side of your skirt.

as if you didn’t know that already. those three have already been a staple into your everyday life for majority of the year. they, quite frankly, grow on you like some persistent vine on a house.

“it’s fine, it was quite tame compared to the usual rubbish they spew most of the time.”

remus looks at you, barely able to hide the smirk emerging from his lips.

“don’t tell me you liked them calling you mum?” the teasing lilt in his voice impossible to miss.

you lightly push on his shoulders. “don’t be disgusting, being called their mum is weird enough. and you implying i like it just makes it even weirder.”

“well imagine being called daddy compass by one of your mates, it’s gonna be hard looking at james tomorrow morning i’ll tell you that.”

you laugh excessively loud at this, before covering your mouth sheepish as you remember the time.

you look over at him, up and down as if assessing, “but you do look like a dad who knows how to read maps. wears khakis all the time and has a moustache.”

he rolls his eyes at you, as you grin in mirth, “well does that mean you’ll do me the honours of marrying me to avoid the life of a single parent to three demon boys?”

you laugh, shaking your head, “not exactly selling your case to me, are you?”

“won’t you reconsider though?” he moans, like he’s pained but you see the glint in his eyes even in the dark dorm room stairs. “it is after all for the children.”

you know he’s joking, hardly a night of partying counts as anything like a proper proposal.

but your brain can’t help but supply the thought that he looked quite fuller now. arms looking sturdier, and harder. he is acting more responsibly, all the professors trust him.

he was almost like a proper grown up now.

and you remember the echo of the ultimate rule in your childhood.

you shake your head, and an easy smile spread on your lips. stopping at the stairs for your dorms, “over my dead body,”

and he laughs, the sound echoing in the trashed common room, “well alright, good night, beautiful.”

“good night remus.”

fourth time at 19 years old;

you knew james was serious about lily when you lot had graduated from hogwarts. but you didn’t know the extent of the seriousness until he said this after one of the order meetings.

“i’m going to ask lily to marry me.”

james had said this with such conviction, so sure and full of affection. you can’t help but feel awed.

he suddenly seemed mature. not like the doofus you’ve come to know and consider a confidant through these trying times.

but a proper adult, one who does taxes and knows how to set up an appointment for medical check ups and fights in wars.

james suddenly feeling very far away from you.

you feel remus shift, his leg pressing into yours. you look at him to see what he wanted, but saw he was just looking at james, eyes set hard.

you shook yourself out of your stupor. standing up abruptly, not meaning to leave the familiar press of remus’ leg against your thigh.

“that’s—that’s great news james, i would have never guessed you—oh you’re all grown up!” you wrap your arms around his shoulders, and him wrapping his around your middle with a giddy smile.

“thank you, mum.” he laughs, the on going joke still running strong. you squeeze him extra tight and pinching his arm for extra measure. before pulling away. “i never thought you had it in you to propose. i’d have half a mind to propose to lily on your behalf.”

he laughs, a bashful blush resting on his cheeks. “i figured, why wait, you know? tomorrow isn’t promised, and—i think spending every moment together is we all can do. i don’t want to die with regrets. i love her.”

you breathed in deep.

sirius coming forward too and slapping james in the back before giving his own congratulations and then peter and then remus too.

you were happy for them both, truly, having found one another even in these difficult times was awe-inspiring.

and then you start to wretchedly wonder if you could have that too. if only the circumstances were a bit different. would you have been given enough time to find another? enough to love? enough to marry?

you find your gaze sliding to remus, how strained his smile looked and wonder if he’s thinking the same.

he looked back at you, as he always does, and smiles gently. less strained now. like he was resigned.

you try to imagine if the circumstances were a bit different and he would find someone to love. someone to marry.

you feel your navel, coil in a bundle of nerves. a tension in your neck making you almost irate.

he gestured for you to follow him out.

like being compelled and weak, you follow without a question.

the night air was chilly, and feeling some sort of static on your skin, like building an unnerving suspense.

remus just sat and gestured for you to sit beside him.

the seat was cold, and you sat rigid like ice.

it’s been a while since you’ve last sat with remus like this. the order keeping all your hours occupied, mission after mission. surviving by the skin of your teeth.

all the world has gone fucked now, it didn’t feel quite real some time—like some sort of veil has just been pulled over your head making you see things clearer for the horrors awaiting your fates.

and in your mind loud with noise and worry, you almost didn’t hear him.

“why don’t we do it?”

“what?” you turn to him, hoping his face show an inkling, a clue as to what he had said.

he looked at you then, eyes still so warm even with the atrocities he’s faced and eyes still so bright in the night. a twinkling light reflecting in his eyes making him look younger. prettier.

“why don’t we get married?”

you lean back slightly in shock, “what?” you repeated, because you didn’t understand. this came so suddenly, words weirdly familiar but the intent wildly different than from all the others you’ve heard before.

you looked at his eyes. searching, still, for a clue or something that might make sense because what?

he laughs, the warm, soft sounding one you can barely hear. but it was just the two of you outside and it was quiet and you were sitting so close, so you hear it—loud and clear. the sound making you feel warm. “is that so crazy?”

he looked like a boy, happy and hopeful. his leg was pressing into your thighs again. the pressure grounding you.

his hands fidgeting deep within his pockets.

“i think we work well enough.” he added, with a small smile.

you feel something in your heart stutter, “work well enough,” you repeated. “glad to know i reach your standards for a bride, sir lupin.” you almost scoff. masking the bitter simmer of disappointment of his reason. and the coiling nerves still tightly wound in your navel, feeling heavy, making it harder to breathe.

he shrugs, “well you know, a lot of applicants have been killing themselves to be chosen. i reckon you ought to feel honoured.” he grinned over to you, still joking.

you rolled your eyes, “of course,”

“yeah?” he perked up, suddenly sitting straighter, his knees bumping into yours in his haste to look at you properly. “you want to?” he seemed shocked, overtly so, that it makes you laugh. a heat blooming on your face at his apparent willingness to marry you before shaking your head to avoid any confusion.

“no to the proposal but yes, that it is indeed an honour.”

he deflates, “ah,” he said softly, before laughing like he was embarrassed. “i just—i kept thinking what james said, about tomorrow not being promised—and, i, well i thought—“ he clears his throat before continuing. “i thought i might see what the fuss was about,”

you nodded, “‘m afraid marriage isn’t so simple. you have to love one another for a start.” you added somewhat bitterly, looking away.

“so you keep reminding me,” he says, laughing awkwardly.

fifth time at 38 years old;

you feel as if your life was reaching a crescendo.

the night glooming, brooding like the sky knows to colour it of fear and nerves.

it was going to come down to tonight, so it seems. whether we win or we lose. the end or the beginning. all those families we’ve lost and the families we’ve created. all our hopes and dreams sacrificed into this one night.

“you feeling alright?” remus asked to your left.

the glooming sky somehow illuminating his face all the same.

“as alright as anyone can be when facing a dark wizard.” you smirked, shrugging.

he laughs, still sounding so warm and soft.

you feel his fingers brush yours. you had half a mind to remind him to get ready and hold his wand tight.

you notice how keeps forgetting to do that. opting to hold unto you, just like he did before when he was a child from another time.

he only offers a closed lipped smile, looking at you the same way he has always looked at you. his stare the most familiar thing, it might as well be a part of you.

“i love you.” he breathed. and your heart hammered, your world tilting on its axis. shifting the very fabric of your universe.

and he looked relieved like he couldn’t wait to hold unto it any longer. and then he repeated it. more sure. louder. affectionate. looking straight into you. his brilliant, soft, warm eyes so full.

you wonder when did his gaze start to look at you like that?

and then you see;

his eyes looking as it did when he was five, shining with obvious awe.

his eyes when he was eleven, with resolute determination.

eyes when he was seventeen, glinting with mirth in the dark crevices of the dorms.

the look he gave you when he was nineteen, looking so boyishly happy and hopeful.

and now as he’s thirty-eight, looking at you with so much love, and longing, and pain, and joy.

“when this is all over,” he breathe, “will you marry me?”

so much time has passed by now that you had once thought it was too late for you. too late with him. something you always thought but could never have.

he was now undeniably a man. arms littered with scars and unwavering confidence as he looks at you. but his eyes still glimmer and twinkle all the same.

the undeniable rampage in your chest, your eyes searching for an answer or a clue for what he’s thinking.

“i love you,” he repeats, and gazing at you with that familiar eyes of his.

and you laugh because you found your answer. so you’ll give him his.

“yes.”

extra;

the battle was brutal, bodies piled on top of one another. those too young to know what they even fought for. those for their own ideals. and those caught in cross fires.

but it was over. and the good guys won.

but with so many lost, people thought, how could i possibly cheer?

but there was this type of solace when you’re gone. there was no more pain. all those gone can only do one thing, to let go. at least that’s what harry thinks.

staring down at the family he could’ve had.

your limp cold hand holding remus’ equally cold ones.

he wonders if someone intertwined your hands, or if you simply died holding on to each other. never to let go.

he realized it didn’t really matter. you were both gone. forever, but together.

he thinks of the comforting hugs you’ve given him in the short time you’ve spent with him, and the many stories remus told. and in this fierce pain he wonders if you ever saw the shiny, glinting ring in remus’ dresser hidden away ever since he was eighteen.

[hiddenmoonbeam]

Thinking about teenage Sirius, wickedly smart with top grades, a rich heir to an old pureblood house, tall and handsome and haugty, drawing many admiring and envious looks that he appears to be above acknowledging. Popular, yet sticks to his small and close circle of friends, not really allowing anyone else close.

But even with them he's guarded about his own physical space; the old uncease is hard to shake, and it twists the want into knots. No matter how much he craves this intimicy, he struggles to accept it when it's given, and initiating it himself is even more difficult.

Padfoot makes everything simple, though. And so Sirius starts turning into him whenever he needs to be close - because asking for cuddles is so much easier for the dog than it is for the boy.

[alltoounwellll]

a solar eclipse is such a good metaphor for James feeling like he’s taken a back seat in Sirius’s life after he and Remus get together

anywayyyyyyy

[my-castles-crumbling]

Moonstruck - @wolfstarmicrofic - word count: 138

“So. I heard Angela Martins has a crush on our dear Remus,” James spoke as he settled cross-legged on his bed, beaming at the other three boys.

Sirius felt his head snap up. “What?”

James grinned conspiratorially, completely unaware of the way Sirius’s stomach was doing uncomfortable somersaults. “Yeah. She’s all moonstruck for Moony,” he cooed at Remus, who was smiling politely.

“She’s fit, Remus,” Peter piped up. Sirius resisted the urge to slap him. It wasn’t like he knew. “You should ask her out.”

All eyes turned to Remus as Sirius held back a grimace.

But Remus just shrugged vaguely. “I prefer dark hair,” he muttered, eyes flickering towards Sirius for just a second before looking determinedly down.

It was his heart that was doing gymnastics in his chest now.

What was that supposed to mean?

[deathnguts]

The black brothers variants