#Promoting Positive Outcomes

[fosteringinsc]

SC Out of Home Abuse and Neglect (OHAN)

In your foster care training you may have heard about OHAN. Over the years I have always been told it isn’t IF, but WHEN you get investigated by OHAN. That is why documentation is extremely important for foster parents and social workers alike. You can read the importance of documentation in one of my other articles, but here is what OHAN is. Sounds scary doesn’t it? The Out of Home Abuse and…

[bwere]

SUKUNA R. LITTLE MISS SECRETARY

wc: 5.4k

DO YOU HAVE AN APPOINTMENT MASTERLIST

sukuna ryomen. notorious for firing his secretaries left and right—and despite the constant doting from your peers’ of this, you apply for an interview. if he wont take assurance in your words, what better way than to prove them—right?

warnings: modern!au, ceo!au, creampię, pssy eating, slight spnking, degradation, seduction, mentions of bawls, raw-doggin’, semi-exhibitionism, deęp-throating, filthy smut. not proofread entirely, may seem repetitive until updated.

[11:00am]

Ryomen Sukuna, infamous for firing his secretaries without regard for their backgrounds or talents. Their appearance—whether pretty or plain—held no sway; if Sukuna disagreed, they were promptly shown the door. 

Gojo leaned back in his chair. Shoes kicked up on the table, rocking his weight to make the chair aloft above the floor in the slightest - before it clunks back down. "Are you sure you're up for this? You do know his secretaries don't even last a week before they're fired, right?"

"Or quit." Geto chimed in with an obnoxious slurp of his drink.

Gojo shrugged. "Exactly my point, even if he does hire you—I'd give it like a week tops."

It wasn’t as if you didn’t know–you were more than aware. And still, you chose to ignore their crude remarks. 

Shoko, who had been silently observing the interaction, finally interjected. Her voice, a soothing balm, countered the mounting concern. "Gentlemen," she asserted, "I think our friend has had her fill of the negativity you keep putting in her head." 

"Thank you, Shoko." You retorted, emphasizing her name with a sigh that mingled thankfulness with a teasing nuance.

"But I'm- you knoww, juust curious," Shoko persisted, her eyes searching yours for an answer. “What makes you want to take up the role of a secretary for him?”

Your friends' questioning looks prompted a brief moment of reflection. Why indeed? The challenge, the thrill, the chance to prove yourself? You knew the answer, but articulating it seemed more discouraging than facing the notorious Ryomen Sukuna himself.

Ryomen Sukuna, a name that sent tremors down spines, loomed large in the headlines. And here you were, recommended for a position under him. Why did you persist, knowing the outcome was likely to remain unchanged?

Your reputation as an efficient secretary preceded you, effortlessly navigating past employers. Your serious organization and unwavering commitment to schedules impressed every employer you’ve worked for. 

Much like any employer, they clung to their stubbornness, refusing to acknowledge your skills or consider promoting you. 

Why? Pure greed.

To make matters worse, you were never compensated fairly for keeping their businesses afloat. Instead, your hard work was consistently overlooked, and someone else often claimed credit for your accomplishments.

You begin to speak, recounting your past experiences, your friends gather around, hanging on every word. "Well, each of my previous bosses had their quirks. Mr. Tanaka was all about efficiency. He'd have me schedule his meetings back-to-back, with no breaks. Taught me how to manage a tight calendar."

Shoko sighed. "Sounds exhausting."

You continued, "Yup. Then there was Ms. Sato. Brilliant mind, but her focus skills were...lacking.”

Geto chuckled, “That’s a bit brutal, isn’t it? No mercy from you, I see.” 

Gojo’s infectious barks of laughter echoes through the coffee shop, turning heads as patrons look over in frowns. “Ouch!” he cries out, feigning injury as Shoko’s elbow connects with a harsh nudge.

“Welll…it’s just that, I practically ran the office for her. It's pretty much where I learned to foresee everyone's needs and you know, take initiative."

"And Oh! Let's not forget Mr. Yamada," you spoke up with a huff. 

“Uh Oh, not Mr. Yamada…” Gojo mocks teasingly, faking a dramatic gasp as he throws his hands in the air.

“Ah, yes Mr. Yamada,” you play along with Gojo’s theatrics, your voice laced with mock solemnity. “He was such a stickler for details. I’m talking—everything had to be perfect from reports to the scuffs on my shoes... So much that perfection became my middle name, if I must add.”

Gojo laughed. "He sounds more controlling than anything."

"More or less," you affirmed. "Though, each one taught me something valuable. That's why I think I can handle Mr. Ryomen. He's just another challenge to overcome." 

Your friends shared glances, their expressions a blend of respect and worry. They understood the futility of doubting your capabilities. Your reputation for transforming challenges into triumphs was well-established.

“T’ah, Indeed, it would be a poor decision on his part to let you go,” Geto concurred, not once doubting your value.

“More like he’d be a serious idiot if he did.” Gojo said, his eyes rolling comically in a show of hatred for the entire idea.

“Besides,” you added with a smirk, “I’ve always enjoyed a good challenge. And Mr. Ryomen? He’s the Everest of bosses. Conquering that peak would be quite the resume highlight, don’t you think?”

Shoko’s giggles joined the chorus of agreement. “Truly, if there’s someone who can manage the notorious Sukuna, it’s you.” 

Eventually, the conversation dove through a tapestry of topics, the cafe becoming a cocoon of your shared jokes and light-hearted banter. 

Time, on the other hand—had places to be. 

As your eyes landed on the plastic clock perched near the register. The benign ticking was a stark reminder that the afternoon’s grace period had expired, stabbing you back as remembrance of your planned afternoon kicked in.

“Oh my gosh- that clock right? Is it 11:30 already?” Your drink almost tipping over as you leaped to your feet.

Shoko’s eyes mirrored your alarm. “Isn’t your interview scheduled for 12?” 

“Yes! How could it slip my mind?” A rush of urgency overtook you as you snatched up your belongings, the voices of your friends merging into a symphony of encouragement and last-minute tips as you dashed through the door and made a beeline for your car.

“Knock em’ dead!!"

[11:35am]

The name ‘COMPANY REP’ plastered on your phone’s lock screen, peering over as your phone flashed through your peripheral view. Feeling a wave of pressure as you read the name, it was Uraume, the representative for Ryomen. 

Shit—you were still a good distance from the company’s location, about an exit to be precise. 

Grabbing your phone from the cup holder, you tapped the green icon to answer. Uraume’s voice crackling through the speaker. “Hello, I’m just checking in about your interview for the secretary role at noon.”

You rose back from the steering wheel, as if it's inscribed in your memory to adopt a more formal posture as the cacophony of honking horns invaded the air around you. “Hello,” you responded, keeping your voice cheerful and composed.

“I’m on my way right now; I got caught up in a lunch rush.” You chuckled, hoping to ease the tension. “But I promise, I’ll be there.”

“Very well,” the representative said, their voice smooth. “I’ll be waiting by the elevator on the top floor when you arrive.” 

Soon after, the line went dead, leaving you with an itching sense of anxiety. 

For a moment, the thought of 'accidentally' skipping the next exit crossed your mind and boy did it sound good right about now.

But could you honestly deny the interest that lit within you? What might lay beyond those translucent doors—an opportunity for a fresh start, perhaps? Or was it the hand of destiny at play? Regardless, you stood ready for whatever awaited you.

[11:57am]

The clock in your head seemed to tick impatiently as you rushed toward the imposing glass doors of the corporation. Your interview was scheduled for noon, and you were already cutting it dangerously close.

You dashed through the revolving doors, the sound of your heels punctuating the quiet of the marble lobby. Approaching the front desk, as you requested a temporary ID pass. “Good afternoon, I’m here for the secretary position interview at 12 p.m.”

“Oh yeah! Uraume mentioned your appointment. Here’s your guest pass. The elevator to your left will take you straight to the top floor,” the receptionist replied. 

“Thank you kindly,” you responded with a gracious smile. 

“No problem, I’ll inform Uraume that you’re on your way up.” she added.

Pass in hand, you pivoted toward the elevator. The cool marble underfoot seemed to resonate with the flutter of nerves within you. The rhythmic click of your heels on the stone served as a metronome to your thoughts, each step a beat closer to a potentially life-changing interview. 

The elevator was a sleek, modern contraption, its steel doors reflecting your anxious expression. You pressed the button for the top floor, and as the doors slid shut, you were enclosed in a small, quiet world. The only sound was the tinny melody of the elevator, a constant drone that mirrored your heart's unkempt thump. 

As the elevator climbed, thoughts tumbled through your mind. Was stepping into this role the correct move? With the odds stacked against success, what made you different? Doubts swirled in your mind, each one more insistent than the last.

Soon, the elevator came to a lurching stop, and you were pulled from your thoughts. As doors slid open, you were greeted by the sight of Uraume, whose presence was like a beacon, cutting through the fog of your doubts. 

Well shit, no turning back now.

Emerging from the elevator your eyes met with Uraume’s. Their face gave nothing away, yet their voice carried a note of caution. "I’d advise you to mind your words with Mr. Ryomen. He has little patience for ignorance."

You hummed with a tentative nod, you seemed to be endlessly made aware of Mr. Ryomen's reputation. Especially since your friends found out you were going to this interview—not a second went by where they didn’t bring it up. You felt as if you understood more than anyone how some barely lasted a day.

With a determined pep in your step, you proceeded down the dimly lit corridor, Uraume's silent presence a step behind.

Mr. Ryomen or rather—Sukuna, was a man of striking features, no doubt. His salmon-colored hair was always impeccably styled, and his piercing eyes held an intensity that could make anyone’s heart prone to failure. His sharp jawline was accentuated by a usually neatly shaven face, and his tailored suits always seemed too tight around his muscular build. He carried an air of authority and charisma that was both intimidating and captivating.

His allure extended beyond mere aesthetics. As one of the nation's elite CEOs, his reputation was built on groundbreaking tactics and bold leadership. His guidance propelled the company to new heights of prosperity and influence, cementing its status as a powerhouse in the business world.

Sukuna’s popularity was not just about his charisma either; it was his professional acumen that had everyone vying for his attention. Aspiring candidates flocked, eager for the chance to bask in his aura and absorb his energy. Expectably, they fell short. Sukuna’s expectations seemed to soar to stratospheric levels, ones that even NASA would find daunting to align with.

And you’d be lying if you didn’t find yourself wondering what it could be like by his side. Waking up everyday with a pool in your panties—because you’d get to see your attractive boss calling your name by his side with need. 

As Sukuna’s success and influence grew, so did his reluctance to admit the need for support. The absence of a secretary began to take its toll on the productivity of his team, especially his representative’s. 

Snapping you out of your thoughts as Uraume halted just before Sukuna’s office door. “Good luck,” they offered, before making their way back to the elevator. You adjusted your form-fitting dress, a mix of poise and nerves. Taking a deep breath to steady yourself, you knocked with a dense one, two - three on the door.

"You may enter."

[12:02pm]

As you step into his office, the reality of the situation settles in. 

Here was the man who had graced countless headlines, a visionary whose name was synonymous with success. Though, as terrifyingly lurking as the prospect was, you were determined to not just be another face in the crowd.

This was your chance, the moment of truth. Most of which people never got.

As your gaze met his, there was an undeniable pull towards the depth of his eyes, a fierce intensity that held a world of ambition and insight.

It's as if his gaze was trying to unravel you, like pieces of a puzzle, but you don't let it.

Sukuna sat there, the very picture of corporate elegance, his presence commanding the space around him. His scent, bespoke and expensive, filled the room with an air of dominance, while his hair, a striking shade of muted pink with whispers of black, framing his face perfectly.

Your heart races, but not out of fear – no, it's exhilaration. This is what you’ve prepared for, all those late nights, every challenging task, every impossible deadline you’ve made possible.

He caught you in the act of admiring him, a knowing smirk proud on his lips. "Enjoyin’ the view?" he tugs, before his expression shifted to one of business-like seriousness. "Uraume has mentioned your potential. It’d be best not to waste that." 

The challenge was set, and the interview began.

“Thank you,” you replied, trying to keep your nerves in check. “I’ve always believed in simplicity.”

His eyebrow arched. “Simplicity?”

“Yes,” you said, leaning forward. “Complexity often masks inefficiency. A straightforward approach can yield remarkable results.”

He leaned back, intrigued. “Most people stumble over their words when they meet me.”

“You’ll find…” you begin, holding his gaze with unwavering poise, “that I’m not one to follow the common trend.”

Tilting his head to the side, his eyes narrow. “That remains to be seen.”

For the next few minutes, the interview wove through a conversation of intellect and subtlety. You navigated his inquiries with finesse, sidestepped the snares he laid, and even managed to steal a laugh from him. As time ticked on, a frisson of worry tinged your nerves, Uraume's cautionary words a distant murmur.

Sukuna's voice, a resonant timbre, stirred the air. His incisive gaze seemed to dissect your very thoughts. "Enlighten me, what makes you believe you deserve the job of working for me?"

You inhaled deeply, your reply sulking in assurance, "Mr. Ryomen, my expertise aligns perfectly with your needs. And when it comes to managing your expectations," you trailed, a sly smile plastering on your lips, "I have a knack for exceeding them in the most unexpected ways."

His eyes locked with yours, unwavering. "You're confident you're the one?"

"Without a doubt," you affirmed. "It's often the unassuming key that unlocks the door to brilliance."

He reclined, a contemplative shadow crossing his features. His stare never faltered. "You have a way with words," he observed, a trace of vindication in his voice.

"However, words alone are commonplace. Tell me, how will you demonstrate that you're more than just a woman with commendable references?"

You collected your thoughts, your confidence unshaken. "Mr. Ryomen," you began, your tone imbued with conviction, "I'm a believer in the showance of action. Grant me the chance, and I assure you, my performance will not only meet but eclipse your…high standards."

Wonder sparked in his eyes, a subtle smile embarking at the corners of his mouth. "Oh?" he intoned, the word hanging in the air, ripe with expectation. "Well then, I await the proof of your claims, Miss…?" His tone dipped, a whisper of question in the quiet space between you.

"Think of me as your right hand, Mr. Ryomen," you replied softly, your voice steady despite the intensity of the moment. "I'm here to ensure that your every need is met, with precision and a personal touch."

His gaze was unyielding, tracking your every movement, a longing in the depths of his eyes. He observed you closely, a silent notice of your boldness. The air between you was charged, a palpable tension that spoke volumes more than words ever could. 

Without waiting for a response, you motion around the desk. Circling the desk with calculated steps, you maintained eye contact, now before him. Mere inches away from his face—the moment was ripe with possibility, the beginning of a partnership that could redefine the very essence of collaboration. 

And slowly, you begin to unbutton your dress, exposing a bra with lace details that drew attention to your tender breasts. 

"I'll be your right hand in the office," you murmur, letting your dress slide off your shoulders, just barely baring your smooth, supple skin. "And your left hand..." You trace his strong jawline with your fingers, savoring the slight stubble. "...whenever you crave a touch of pleasure."

Sukuna's eyes darken in covetous as he sinks in your intentions. "Impressive initiative, but it'll take more than that to convince me, beautiful. I have very specific requirements and expectations that need to be met."

Unpersuaded, you choose to escalate your lure on him. Feeling the firmness of his growing erection pressing against your thighs, you straddle his lap. Your grin - sluggish, your folds damp with elation in your panties as you hush, "I plan to take care of all of your needs, Mr. Ryomen. Actually—I intend to surpass them."

[12:30pm]

His breath retracted, as you pressed your soft breasts against his pecs and began to undo his suit jacket, exposing his toned, muscular chest. 

Your fingers trailed down his warm skin, sending goosebumps through his body as you explicitly avoided the growing bulge in his slacks.

“Mmm, Mr. Ryomenn—I know you’re aching," you murmur, your fingertips tantalizingly weaving over his torso. "And I have just the perfect remedy to alleviate that stress. Shall I show you?"

Sukuna nods in agreement, his eyes broadening, feeling a surge of lust that leaves him thirsty. The curiosity about your limits conquering over his mind.

You slip off his lap, your body slithering to the floor on your knees, your lips forming up into an enticing grin. With slow, careful manuvers, you undo his belt and unzip his fly, peeling the material back to release his thick, hard cock. A soft moan escapes your lips as you take in the sight of his length, throbbing with urgent need.

You take the tip into your comforting, wet mouth, swirling your tongue around the sensitive head, tasting the sweet dribbles of pre-cum. Humming with delight, sending vibrations through his core as you take in more of him, sucking gently.

Sukuna's eyes just want to roll back in pure pleasure—a deep groan escaping his lips. "Mnh, is that tha’ best you can do?" His right hand rests atop your head, ghostingly guiding you as to respect your pace.

It’s all just motivation, as you suck harder, taking him deeper until your eyes start to water from the intensity. You hollow your cheeks; as you take him the deepest you can go with a gag. Your head bobs up and down, your hands gently cupping his heavy balls.

"That's ittt—suck me, show me how bad y’wanna be m’ lil secretary," he grunts, his hips thrusting in rhythm with your mouth. "That fuckin’ mouth s’gon’ be the death of me."

Your actions are fueled by his words, whining in return as your thighs rub together nothing but static—yearning for some attention. You slip a hand through your panties, slipping a finger in your aching cunt, feening for your own release.

He observes the scene below him, almost studying as you multitask your way through the pleasure. Ensuring not a single strand of his clothing gets into contact with the filthy mix of your saliva and his pre-cum. Admiring the way you finger your dependent pussy, all the while taking him so deep down your throat, managing to slobber down to the base of his cock and swallow everything back up like it never existed. 

You take pride in your work, and he was now experiencing it. In fact, if anything it turned him on more. He might even have to make you his toy if you kept on. 

Sensing you're close to the edge, Sukuna suddenly pulls his cock out of your throat with a disgusting pop. His cock now drenched in fluids from your lovely torment. “Aht aht, Strip.”

You obey his orders without hesitation, his eyes roaming your body as you strip. Visibly tracing every curve in your silhouette. Fantasizing the things you might have in store for him, his dick twitches against his skin, swelling more and more each second. 

“There y’go, stick that ass out f’me.” He stares at you - appetizingly, becoming ravenous at the way you're already hunched over his handcrafted mahogany desk. 

In a matter of seconds, purely to provide him a better view.

You braced your weight on the edges of the cold surface. Pressed palms onto the glossy wood—hypnotizing him as you began to squirm your ass in his direction. 

"Like this, Mr. Ryomen?" you spoke as if you were completely innocent, your lashes moving in a way that made it appear like you weren't attempting to play coy.

Maybe in another universe he’d fall for it—but not in this one. He delivers a sharp slap to your ass cheek, leaving a stinging sensation that only makes your pussy wetter. "You jus’ keep gettin’ sluttier and sluttier, huh?" 

He snakes his veiny hand between your legs, thanks to the pad of his thumb, he prods at your delicate clit, reaching a soft whimper out of your throat. You attempt to clamp your legs together, but his big hands keep them apart as he proceeds to drive two of his fingers deep in you—instantaneously, without any delay.

"You’r so fuckin’ wet f’me." He taunts, his breath hot against your ear. "You like that, don' you?" His fingers slide in and out, his thumb continuously twisting at your burning clit.

"Y-Yes Sir…" you cry out, your body becoming weaker under his touch. 

"Sukuna." He cuts off with a sinister chuckle, "Call me Sukuna."

You nod frantically, your hips doing all the talking as you mindlessly drag onto the lengths of his fingers. Grinning wolfishly, he moves his thumb in slow circles, working your clit. "Well, aren't you just a sight for sore fuckin’ eyes?"

"Oh my fuck- it feels so good nmmh!" you breathe out, panting heavily.

“Yeah? I bet.” he laughs, adding a third finger, stretching you out deliciously.

He drove his fingers sickeningly deep into you, your pussy canal squeezing around them, seeking for more.

His persistent botherence made you gasp for air as you fought to keep your composure. Sukuna leaned in, his lips coming into contact with your neck, delivering a forceful bite.

“Mngh–Kuna’ ts’ hurts! P-please I wan’uh cuhm..!-” You cried out, arching your back—grinding your ass further against him in advance.

His fingers gradually came to a quit as he withdrew from your neck.

Your expression crumbling at his actions, “Please- don’ stop.” 

But Sukuna doesn't let you have it. He pulls his fingers out of you completely—just as you're prepared to dive over the edge, leaving you empty and writhing in dissatisfaction. 

He then raised them to his mouth, never breaking eye contact with you. He savored the taste with an exaggerated moan, letting out a contented sigh.

“You’re so fucking mmhn- delicious.” he murmured.

“Please…”

Sukuna's lips formed a sadistic smile as he lowly chuckled, a mischievous glint in his eyes. "Please what?"

You picked at your bottom lip with your teeth, your thighs rubbing together like two wet sticks trying to starting a fire. Your pussy begged for more. "Please...fuck me.." you pleaded, your voice trembling.

"Not yet," Sukuna shook his head. "Get on the desk."

You hastily climb onto the desk, heeding to his instructions to avoid wasting any more unnecessary time. Relishing the brash feeling of the cold wood fatally against your back. 

You’re embarrassingly exposed now—wide open for the man in front of you. The same man who’s about to search for your soul with his mouth. The same man who doesn’t plan on quitting until your dignities on his tongue–that is, if you had any left. 

"Goood girl." He smirks, kneeling down between your legs. Forcefully restricting you from closing your legs as he peels them apart. You can feel the cool air of the room on your wet pussy. Shivering in anticipation as he darts his tongue out. Exploring every inch of your folds as he sucks them apart with hunger. 

You possess handfuls of his hair—overflowing around your fingers, moaning as you draw him in suffocatingly. Fleeing your fingers through his strands rougher—when he hits - that spot.

"Mnghm–you’re sh’o fuckin tasty aren’tcha?" he whispers against your clit.

“Hnn…!” Unable to speak or barely catch your breath, you can feel your orgasm building again so easily, except this time you're not going to let him stop you. 

He runs his tongue over your clit—your fingertips tightening in his hair as you hold him in place. 

You feel his stubble graze your inner thighs, his hot breath fanning over your slick folds, making you needier. He provokes your desperate shouts for more - laughing at how the octaves in your voice only seem to keep raising. But you can't help the moan that escapes your lips when his tongue flicks over your clit.

"Fuck, Sukuna…s’too m-much..!" you breathe. 

He’s good—too good at this. 

He chuckles against your cunt. His fingers digging snug into your thighs, holding you down as he continues to entice you, not once letting up for air.

“Yeah? Mgnh, s’that why r’you grippin’ m’ hair so fuckin’ mmhnguh tight?—” He licks and sucks on your puffy clit—sliding two of his fingers back inside you, fucking quicker than he did before. He's devouring everything he can like a vacuum - drowning in your folds as he does so.

You're so close, so fucking close, but he still won't let you cum. You can feel the orgasm burning inside you, your whole body tensing up as you try to hold back. But it's no use, you can't fight it any longer.

Sukuna knows it too, and he redoubles his efforts, his tongue and fingers working in tandem to bring you to the edge. You can feel your breath shortening as you gradually get closer, until you can't take it anymore, your orgasm preparing to rip through you like a freight train. 

"Please, Suh-S-Sukuna, can’ h-hold it gon’a…cumnnh!" 

He looks up at you, a carnivorous desire in his tone. "Beg for it," he growls, his tongue melting over your clit again.

“Please, Kuna’, I'm begging you. P-Please let me cum…!”

He smirks, the taste buds on his tongue roaming faster over your cunt. "Go on baby, cuhm f’me like a lil slut," he murmurs, his fingers digging into your thighs brutally.

“Ahhnn–S’Kuna n’ cummin’..!” Your whole body quivers as you succumb to his charm, your orgasm overwhelmingly taking you. His tongue sucks on your pussy—gulping down your substances.

Descending from your euphoria, he begins to stand up. His hands, his face, his entire body—now saturated in your concoction.

[1:02PM]

Disregarding his shirt over his head and tossing it to the side. His pants follow quickly after, leaving him standing in front of you with nothing but his boxers. You can see the outline of his hard cock through the fabric, and you can't wait to get your hands on it.

Sukuna hooked his thumbs into the waistband of his boxers and timelessly pulled them down. You licked your lips in conviction.

He reached out and cupped your chin in his palm, his thumb smoothing over your jaw. "You want this job don't you?," he whispered, his voice clouded in vanity. 

You looked up at him, and nodded—your eyes following his lips. 

“Use your words.” 

“Yes, Mr—S-Sukuna, I do.” He leaned down and kissed you, his tongue delving deep into your mouth. His lips were on yours, his tongue messily racing through your mouth. 

You could feel the heaviness of his cock brushing past your leg, prompting you—of what was coming next.

“Y’gonna keep it all inside like a good girl right? Not g’nna spill any of it?.”

“Mhm! Gonna be a good girl, ‘Kuna..—” He placed his hands on the sides of your head as you laid back—the hard wooden desk becoming your only security. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, the scent of his cologne, and sex - becoming intoxicating. 

Sukuna moaned into your mouth as you brought a hand below you and started to stroke him, his hips thrusting forward in time with your strokes. Dissolving into your touch before he broke the kiss, he looked down at you.

"Need’ t’be inside you," he seethed.

“M’ all yours, Mr. ‘Kuna…” You wanted him inside you just as much as he wanted to be there. 

Sukuna grabbed your calves—hauling you towards the edge of the desk, positioning you so that his cock was aimed methodically at your oh, so—more than ready cunt. 

He made a single, resentful, forceful thrust that went deep into you. You inhaled sharply at the newfound fullness, getting used to the feeling of his thick cock surging through your walls.

“Ahnn!..f-fuck-” you hiccuped as he started to fuck you harder. Inevitably slamming himself into you while lowering down to get hold of your hips—using them as leverage. 

"Ts’like she’s made f’me," he grunted, his brows are pinched, the sight of sweat accumulating around his eyes, irritably blurring his line of sight. "Tight, wet, ‘nd fuck…perfect for my cock." 

Sukuna began to roughly pound into you, each of his thrusts making you scream his name—resembling that of a prayer. His fingers now bruising into the flesh of your hips.

He was relentless, each stroke more forceful than the last. He made your legs weaken as he fucked you soulfully, the desk beneath you visibly quaking with each impact. Creaking with complaints as the legs of the table shook violently.

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper into you with each thrust. You could feel another orgasm ready to burst through, the pleasure coiling within your belly as Sukuna's cock drilled into your guts. You pathetically clung to him, clawing at his back for some sort of stability other than the shaking table underneath you.

The sound of your bodies filled the room as the noise of his balls smashing into your ass reverberated. With every thrust that brought you closer to the brink, you could feel the heat of your own need enveloping inside of you.

"Ahn…! Don't stop, don't stop, p-please..!-" you cried out, your voice hardly audible anymore. 

So, of course Sukuna’s only response was to fuck you harder, his hips ramming into yours with a force that made you see stars. 

“F-Fuck…y’r cunts gonna squeeze me f-fuckin dry..”

“G-Give it t’me ‘K-Kunauh…!-” You chanted in desperation. His thrusts became more erratic at your vowels, his hips bucking wildly as he approached his own release. You could feel his cock cruelly plowing inside you, assaulting everything in its way, leaving no room for pity. 

“Hughn- fuck..fuck…fuck..” He reiterated, guttural moans dropping from his throat as his cock probed inside you, signaling his impending release. 

You tightened your muscles around him, you could feel his cum filling you up, each second his cock rested in you, was another second that caused your walls to pulse tight around him, confirming—he didn’t finish until the very last drop. As he subsided you into your own climax, the nubs of your feet kept him still. Milking his cock of anything he had to give as you both came.

[1:29pm]

BRRING BRRING BRRING

Being brought into consciousness, the noise of his office phone pulls you out of your lucidity—your naked bodies sweaty and worn yet, still exuding warmth from one another. 

"Fuck," he grunted, pulling away from you and reaching for the phone.

"Ryomen here," he sighs into the receiver, his expression glum as he listens to his receptionist's next words.

Whilst you hurriedly put your clothes back on, you maintain your eyes on him, your body still stiff from the unnerving orgasms he had just tore from you. Sore from the constant torment he had inflicted upon your insides like a curse. 

A curse you hoped for.

"Yes, I know, but I'm in the middle of something right now," Sukuna said, his eyes flicking over to you.

With a smile on your face, you gestured to him to continue. 

"I want it to be canceled," Sukuna kept on, his eyes never leaving yours.

The voice on the other end of the line stuttered, “But s-sir, it’s an important meet-”

Sukuna cut her off, his tone firm. “I said cancel it. I’m busy.”

“But Mr. Ryomen, the client…-”

“I don’t care.” Sukuna interrupted again, his gaze still locked with yours. His eyes were soft, a stark contrast to the harsh tone he was using on the phone. “You scheduled it, so cancel it.”

He hung up and tossed the phone back onto his desk without any thought. He smiled softly as he turned back to face you. 

“Now…where were we?” 

You couldn’t help but giggle, the tension from the phone call dissipating. “I think…we were at the part where you tell me if I got the job or not.” 

Sukuna erupted with laughter, amused. He grins "Is that right?"

“Tsk–well, in that case...” he paused, calamity radiating in his charming smile. “Better start memorizin' the way I like my tea.”

You laughed against his words, your voice resonating through his office. “And how is that?” you asked.

“Two sugars, dash of milk, brewed strong. Don’t forget.”

“Two sugars, a dash of milk, anddd brewed strong,” you repeated, a cheeky smile on your lips. “Got it.”

“Good.” 

TAGLIST (if tag isn’t grey, i could not tag. also if you keep getting tagging notifications the taglist keeps glitching so I apologise): @jotarohat @lxchlaouch @izuuzuxuzuzu @nyamocka @deepenthevoid @shitpostathon-nbpw @yaygurist @sadityb230 @qlorin @partr1dge @mikyapixie @ventila98 @aydene @kizzyxren @tananaxx @tojideckmuncher @httpstoyosi @is-belluvism @shinrjj @sephraee @c4rm1son @theiridescentdragon @spindyl @guacam011y @brianmaysclog @sexicherri3 @kukigirli @puran-poli @ilivefortheleague @freakquencys @6demonize6me6 @mmeharuno @domainexpansionmypants @mermaidian02 @no-regrets-just-confusion @qv4nx11 @seelevoellerei @iloveboysinred @hoesbeforebros101 @glossygreene @kivrumi @distinguishedlove @ssetsuka @thisuserdrinkslavendertea @love-me-satoru @tyke2219 @paprikaquinn @skunkfeet @suguruswiifey @oidloid

[dandelionsresilience]

Good News - May 15-21

Like these weekly compilations? Support me on Ko-fi! Also, if you tip me on Ko-fi, at the end of the month I'll send you a link to all of the articles I found but didn't use each week - almost double the content!

1. Translocation of 2,000 rhinos in Africa gets underway in “one of the most audacious conservation efforts of modern times”

“The 2,000 rhinos - more than are currently found in any single wild location in Africa - represent around 12-15% of the continent’s remaining white rhino population. […] “Rhinos perform an important ecological function in the environment as a large grazing herbivore,” says Dale Wepener[….] “The protection of rhino is far more than just looking after rhino; other species that occur in the protected areas will benefit from the protection,” explains Jooste. “This will lead to an increase in diversity and result in much healthier ecosystems.”

2. Florida Corridor Buffers Effects of Climate Change on Wildlife — And People

“A massive multi-partner effort that has conserved 10 million acres for wildlife in Florida over past decades will help buffer wildlife—and people—from the effects of climate change, a new report says. […] Protecting these corridors is important for wildlife genetics, demography and connectivity […], conducting prescribed fires in the corridor can reduce the risk of more intense wildfires [… and] they can provide buffers against hurricanes and seasonal thunderstorms.”

3. Global life expectancy to increase by nearly 5 years by 2050 despite geopolitical, metabolic, and environmental threats

“Increases are expected to be largest in countries where life expectancy is lower, contributing to a convergence of increased life expectancy across geographies. The trend is largely driven by public health measures that have prevented and improved survival rates from cardiovascular diseases, COVID-19, and a range of communicable, maternal, neonatal, and nutritional diseases (CMNNs).”

4. Valencia has Spain’s longest urban park

“Jardin del Turia (Turia Garden) is the green spine of the City of Valencia and Spain’s (and possibly Europe’s) longest urban park stretching for a length of 8.5 kilometres [… and] the current administration plans to make Jardin del Turia Europe’s largest city green space by extending it to the sea[….] Almost all Valencia residents (97 per cent) live within 300 metres of an urban green space. […] Jardin del Turia is a true urban oasis that provides exceptional thermal comfort, with a temperature difference of up to three degrees compared to other areas of the city.”

5. This Paint Could Clean Both Itself and the Air

“When an artificial ultraviolet light source shines on [photocatalytic] paint, the nanoparticles react with pollutants to make them break down—theoretically removing them from the nearby air and preventing a discoloring buildup. [… R]esearchers developed a new photocatalytic paint that they claim works using UV rays from ordinary sunlight, making its self-cleaning properties easier to activate. They’ve also shown that they can effectively produce this paint from recycled materials [including fallen leaves].”

6. Planting Seedlings for a Cooler Rockingham

“A dedicated group of volunteers recently planted over a thousand native seedlings in Lewington Reserve [… and] re-established canopy cover to areas of the reserve to create cooling shade for the local community and provide homes for native wildlife. […] Planting lots of trees and shrubs in urban areas can help create shade and cool cities, mitigating the impacts of climate change, contributing to biodiversity conservation and building greener, more resilient communities.”

7. Sydney’s first dedicated affordable housing for trans women designed to deliver ‘positive outcomes’

“Community housing provider and charity Common Equity NSW, […] which is for people on very low to moderate incomes, prides itself on creating inclusive living and promotes the independence and well-being of people and communities […, and] will deliver the first-of-its-kind social housing in a bid to provide a safe place to live for transgender women seeking an affordable home.”

8. Rewilding: How a herd of bison reintroduced to Romania is helping ‘supercharge’ carbon removal

“170 European Bison reintroduced to Romania’s Țarcu mountains could help capture and store the carbon released by up to 84,000 average US petrol cars each year. […] By grazing a 48 square kilometre area of grassland in a wider landscape of 300 kilometres squared, they helped to capture an additional 54,000 tonnes of carbon each year. That is around 10 times the amount that would be captured by the ecosystem without the bison.”

9. World’s biggest grids could be powered by renewables, with little or no storage

“[…] 100% renewable supply can then match the load by putting surplus electricity into two kinds of distributed storage worth that [an energy expert] says are worth buying anyway – ice-storage air-conditioning and smart bidirectional charging of electric cars, and recover that energy when needed, filling the last gaps with unobtrusively flexible demand.”

10. Supporting the Long-Term Survival of Copper River Salmon and Alaska Native Traditions

“With $4.3 million in NOAA funds, the Copper River Watershed Project and The Eyak Corporation will remove fish passage barriers, opening more streams for salmon spawning and subsistence fishing. [… As part of this effort, o]ld narrow culverts that constrict water flow will be replaced with “stream simulation” culverts wide enough to fit the full stream, including its banks. They are also deep to allow contractors to place stones and other material inside to mimic a natural stream bottom.”

May 8-14 news here | (all credit for images and written material can be found at the source linked; I don’t claim credit for anything but curating.)

[heauxvibez]

Gentle

warning: angst, mentions of depression/anxiety, fluff. Enjoy!

It had been days since Joe lost his match. It meant he could finally be home, taking a break from the WWE's busy schedule. You were thrilled to have him home, just the two of you for a while. Joe was excited too, or so he thought.

He released a huge sigh of relief when he was told prematurely about the outcome of his match with Cody. He loved work but also missed being home with you, and the flexibility to do what he wanted without having to make huge shifts around his work schedule. The guilt that constantly ate at him for missing milestones in your life would finally be put to ease. Your promotion at your job, your birthday, buying your first brand new car with your hard-earned money, all things he missed out on celebrating due to his work.

But as time went by, you noticed a change in him. His energy shifted dramatically. He became quieter, answering with short sentences and avoiding conversations. He barely ate, only managing to do so when taking his medication.

You had to decline many invitations because he wasn't up for crowds; they made him anxious. The bedroom became his refuge, all he wanted to do was lay in bed and rot. It was starting to worry you.

Joe himself didn't understand what was happening. He wanted to shake off this feeling, but it clung to him stubbornly. It was like he'd forgotten his place in life, his roles as your husband, friend, and son. He felt worthless. As the Tribal Chief he knew everything, life was in his control, he was in control. Nothing could phase him when he was his alternative self. His bronze skin was as thick as ever.

But as Joe, he was vulnerable and soft, his hands could barely grasp the concept of life outside of the arena. He believed that he'd let everyone down by missing important moments, especially you. Despite your support and pride in him, he couldn't shake the feeling of being resented. His anxiety whispered that you all hated him, leading him to isolate himself in the room. He thought that by avoiding interaction, he'd be less of a burden.

You were left in the dark, unsure of what was happening with him. You didn't want to jump to conclusions, but you couldn't ignore the signs of either depression or anxiety. It was a delicate situation; you didn't want to say or ask the wrong thing and risk pushing him away. You were at a loss for how to approach him without causing further distress.

"Babe..", you called out as you cracked open the door. Your head peaked in to reveal him bundled under the sheets.

"Hmm?" he hummed back, avoiding looking in your direction.

The room matched his mood—dark and cold. You approached him cautiously, arms crossed before quickly relaxing them, not wanting to convey that you were mad or upset in any way. Squatting beside the bed, you met his gaze. His hair was tousled, covering his face like cobwebs, his eyes red, lips downturned. He looked miserable.

He almost melted at the feel of your fingers feathering through the knots of his tangled beard. He hadn't groomed himself in days, so he looked a mess. But to you he still looked like perfection, just needed a little love. You searched his face, to him it felt like judgment, but for you...you were just looking for any sign of your loving husband.

"You okay?"

That question alone almost unraveled him. His eyes shut tightly, becoming a dam for the flood of tears that threatened to fall from his eyes. He covered his face with his hand when he could no longer contain the wave of emotions. He shook his head, answering your question.

"Oh baby, I'm sorry. I'm sorry", you pleaded. You didn't know what to expect. You thought it would take a while to break through his tough exterior.

Not wanting to overwhelm him, you hadn't moved. You stayed squatted in your position, stroking the side of his face that wasn't covered by his huge hand.

"Talk to me, baby. I can't help if I don't know what's wrong," your voice, soft and gentle, began to ease the tension. It seemed to pull him back from the brink of a panic attack.

"Breathe, just talk," you urged. He took a deep breath, his exhale brushing against your face. His hand fell away from his face, revealing tear-streaked cheeks and watery eyes. You met his gaze, your own eyes welling up with empathy. You fought back your tears, wanting him to feel safe expressing himself.

Joe tried to speak but faltered, closing his lips and shaking his head. He was at a loss for words, unsure of how to begin.

You let out a gentle sigh as you brushed his greasy hair away from his face. He hadn't bothered to wash it in days, neglecting self-care. As your fingers ran through his strands, an idea dawned on you. With a small smile, you met his sad eyes.

"It's been a while since you washed your hair, huh?" you remarked.

He nodded, still focused on you.

"How about we have a little wash day? I just got some new hair care stuff," you suggested.

There was a moment of silence as he considered it. He didn't want to leave the safety of the room, but he was also bothered by his oily, limp hair.

"Yeah, that sounds nice," he replied softly.

"Yeah? Let's go," you said, standing up and offering your hand. He slowly rose from the bed, taking your hand and letting you lead him to the kitchen.

Since childhood, your family had always washed hair in the kitchen sink. Moms, aunts, and cousins would have you lay flat on the counter, and it was always your favorite part of hair care, like a special ritual.

Your hair care routine had evolved. With the right products and tools, you felt like a pro, especially during tasks like washing your hair. Now, wash days were more enjoyable, and you loved washing your husband's hair too. It was a favorite bonding activity.

"Okay, lay down on the counter," you instructed.

One perk was your spacious kitchen, allowing you to recreate the wash days you cherished from childhood. He hopped onto the counter, and a bit of excitement gleamed through his eyes. It had been a while since you shared an intimate moment like this. With his travels and recent struggles, there had been little room for such simple things.

You stepped away briefly to fetch your hair care items. Your favorite line was created by Taraji P. Henson, who understood the needs of tight coils like yours. Today, you opted for the Honey Fresh clarifying shampoo to remove oils from his locs and the Make It Rain conditioner for moisture.

Returning to the kitchen, you laid out the items on the sink: shampoo, conditioner, Denman brush, wide-tooth comb, and a shower cap—everything needed to care for his hair.

You couldn't help but watch as he lay with his eyes closed, fingers intertwined on his belly. Though he didn't show it, he was eager for this wash day, just like you.

Turning on the sink, you tested the water temperature with your fingers, ensuring it was just right for his scalp.

"Okay, let me know if it's too hot or cold." you instructed. With his eyes still closed he nodded.

The water hit his scalp and you watched as his brows furrowed then relaxed.

"Is that okay?", he nodded once again,

"That's perfect."

The warm water felt like a soothing touch on his scalp, the best sensation he'd felt in days.

"Good," you smiled, running your fingers through his hair. It took a moment for the water to penetrate his hair, the oils causing it to bead off into the sink. The touch of your nails on the back of his neck sent shivers down his spine as you worked the water through his hair.

"Alright," you murmured to yourself as his hair drank in the flowing water. With a twist, you shut off the tap, the room now silent. You placed the detachable head back in its place, and your fingers found the shampoo bottle, releasing a dollop into your hand. With a soft sigh, you worked the dollop into a nice lather with your palms.

You started at his hairline, the pads of your fingers tenderly grazing his scalp. Purposefully avoiding using your acrylic nails, your touch was feather-light. You wanted to cocoon him in bliss and make sure that he was as relaxed as possible.

Your fingers trailed to the hair behind his ears, a familiar path that never failed to make him weak. His ears, his sweet spot, where the slightest touch made his toes curl. Each time your wrist brushed against his ear, he moaned softly, bringing a slight blush to your cheeks.

"Feel good?" the soft words left your lips.

"Feels great." he confessed with a contented sigh.

His response brought warmth to your heart as you continued your movements, moving towards the center of his scalp where he was often tender-headed. With gentle strokes, you massaged the area, mindful of his comfort. In this moment, you found joy in this simple act of caring for your husband.

Though you wanted to get into deeper conversations about his well-being, you hesitated, not wanting to disrupt the peace of the moment. Instead, you chose to stay silent, allowing your gentle touch to speak volumes. But Joe had other ideas.

"I'm sorry," he mumbled

"Don't be, you haven't done anything wrong," you assured. Although you knew what he meant. He felt remorseful for acting distant and pushing everyone away, but you knew it wasn't his fault. He was grappling with emotions beyond his control, and you gave him space to work through them.

"But I have, I haven't been the best husband lately. Well really in the past few years if we're going to be honest."

"Joe-"

"No, listen.." his eyes were flooding with tears again.

"I have not been the best husband in years. I thought with this time off I'd be able to make up for lost time but the more I sit with myself, I'm wondering am I capable of being a good husband? I don't even know who I am outside of Roman Reigns."

Tears were now flowing freely down the side of his eyes and into his hair. For the past 4 years, he had been an alternative version of himself. He completely immersed himself into a character and with the time he had to actually sit with himself, he realized he wasn't really sure who Joe was.

Tears were now rolling down your face. It hurt to see him doubt himself like this. You knew who he was—Joe and Roman were completely different. It was hard to believe he couldn't see it; he was struggling with imposter syndrome.

You wiped your tears away with your wrist, trying to steady yourself. You needed him to know that you didn't share his negative feelings about himself.

"Well, your feelings are valid, baby, and I never want you to feel otherwise. But just because they're valid doesn't mean they're right."

You rinsed the shampoo out of his hair with the detachable head of the sink.

"You might not see the difference between Roman and Joe, but I do. I'm not in love with Roman; I'm in love with Joe. I didn't marry Roman; I married Joe. Roman is manipulative, selfish, cold-hearted—wicked, even," you chuckled softly. Joe wiped away his tears, mirroring your laughter.

You began to wring the excess water from his hair. It was finally clean. Now, you just needed to condition and detangle.

You reached for the condition and squeezed a quarter-sized amount into your hand. Then you gently spread it through his clean hair.

"But Joe.. Joe is sweet, he's vulnerable, and he would give the shirt off of his back to anyone in need. We all love Joe and we understand that just because you're away it doesn't mean you're neglectful, you're doing what you have to do to support your family. Joe is a husband, he's a son, he's a family man, he's a sweetheart, he's you."

Using the Denman brush, you carefully distributed the conditioner and untangled his hair, avoiding any painful pulls.

"You are not Roman, you are Joe. Do you understand?", you asked, pausing to catch his gaze. He kept staring ahead.

"Look at me," you said softly, but firmly. His eyes met yours, resembling those of a puppy.

"Do you understand?"

His lips curved into a soft smile and he nodded.

"Yes, I understand, baby," he affirmed. Leaning in, you tenderly brushed your lips against his forehead, savoring the warmth of his skin beneath yours. Then, with a gentle passion, you pressed your lips to his, sparking a feeling that had been dormant for too long.

As you pulled away, you couldn't help but shower him with one last sweet kiss on the tip of his nose before getting back to his hair.

"I know it's going to take time for you to adjust, and I understand it won't be easy. But I want you to know, I'll be here every step of the way. I promise," your voice was filled with unwavering support.

Carefully, you lifted his head to secure the shower cap, ensuring his hair received the deep conditioning treatment it deserved for the next 10 minutes.

"Thank you, for everything...I love you," he whispered, his words carrying deep gratitude and love.

"I love you too, handsome," you said, your heart brimming with excitement as you anticipated having your husband return to his true self.

---------------------------

Hope yall enjoyed!

Tags: @harmshake @southerngirl41 @spritelucozade @empressdede @alichesmi @msbigredmachine @blacst4r @sassginamillls @wrestlingprincess80 @saintmagx @theninthwonder

[foreversandalways]

unpopular synastry opinions

as someone who studies ancient hellenistic astrology and as someone who’s been genuinely enthused by astrology/synastry for a long time now.

- there is no perfect synastry. synastry is relative to the people involved; it informs us about a dynamic, but doesn’t in and of itself make a statement about the longevity, success, or even health of a relationship. you’re much better off asking a horary astrologer a specific outcome based questions about a certain relationship to get a definitive answer. a “successful” (using that word relatively, because what constitutes success differs greatly between people) relationship largely depends on two people and their karma. synastry just informs a dynamic.

- conjunctions are not positive aspects to have. ancient astrologers didn’t even consider the conjunction an aspect. it’s a blending of energy, and the “goodness” you get from it depends on the planets involved.

for example, moon conjunct mercury can be nice for telepathy but I’ve seen it play out where the moon person doesn’t let the mercury person get a word in where they’re talking.

if venus is conjunct mercury, that’s positive because venus is a benefic, not because the the conjunction itself is positive. even venus/mercury squares can make for a pleasant dynamic because VENUS as a planetary archetype promotes harmony no matter what aspect she’s in. conversely, venus conjunct saturn would be more difficult because Venus’s pleasantness is inextricably tied to Saturn’s cold, dry nature, which over time can weight her down. especially if the Saturn person is a night chart. which leads me to my next point.

- SECT MATTERS. whether one person is a day chart or a night chart matters tremendously. For people with day charts (you were born during the day, or your sun falls in houses 7-12 in the whole sign house system) your most positive planets are the sun, jupiter, and saturn. for people with night charts (you were born during the night, or your sun falls in houses 1-6 in the whole signs house system) the moon, venus, and mars are your most positive planets. mars is more troublesome in a day chart, saturn is less troublesome and more helpful. saturn is more troublesome in a night chart, mars is less troublesome and more productive.

venus conjunct saturn in the synastry where the saturn person is a night chart is going to be way more difficult than if it was a day chart. venus trine jupiter in a chart where the jupiter person is a day chart is going to be felt more positively than if they were a night chart.

- which leads me to my next point. i like venus/mars aspects waaay better when the two people are both night charts, because venus and mars are both part of the night sect. i find them hotter, there’s less bickering and more passion. yes, even the squares and oppositions. in fact i prefer them.

- a bunch of trines and sextiles in synastry are boring, and i’d even go as far as saying those are the real synastry red flags. oppositions and squares bring tension, but tension is a part of growth and life. tension sparks creativity. think about the sexual tension it takes for two people to have sex and create a child. think about how the moon cycle is brought to manifestation via squares and oppositions. we have our new moon (conjunction) first quarter moon (square) so on and so forth until we reach the full moon (opposition) where things come to fruition.

trines and sextiles are nice and do have their value and place, but they’re just that. nice. not dynamic. i barely felt it when pluto trined my sun, but when it squared my mars it spurred me to action for the better. souls need growth and that’s what the hard aspects provide.

- someone’s planet conjunct your angles isn’t necessarily good, just loud.

lemme say it again: SOMEONE’S PLANET CONJUNCTING YOUR ANGLES ISN’T NECESSARILY GOOD, JUST LOUD. that goes for the degrees of the AC, IC, DC, and MC. it can signify them being an important figure in your life, but important doesn’t always mean good, or lasting. just prominent. the angular houses (1, 4, 7, 10) are the anchors of the chart with the most important life themes, so planets here are LOUD, but loud doesn’t mean GOOD.

case in point: sophie turner and joe jonas. her venus sits right on his descendant. you’d think that would mean soulmate, true love, and it very well was for them at some point, but now it’s nasty divorce in the press (the descendant also being the place of opposition, and things seen in the public)

- synastry also isn’t static. what worked and was lovely one day could suffocate you tomorrow depending on your own souls growth. venus conjunct saturn can mean lovely stability and dependability between you two one day, and then three years later it means you feel like your partner gets colder and colder towards you, dampening your spark.

- saturn square venus in synastry does not work. spare yourself the heartache, it’s the most blatant omen of cosmic NO I’ve ever seen and experienced. the universe does not want y’all together.

- the 8th house is not about sex. I see this so much on tumblr and it makes me want to SCREAM. the 8th house is NOT. ABOUT. SEX. it is about the consequences of merging with someone. in the 8th house you take on their benefits and their baggage. the 8th house in the ancient tradition was associated with the esteem of others, i.e being beholden to what other people have and can provide you with. speaking as an 8th house venus myself, that isn’t always fun. it’s also a place associated with death, anxiety, and avoiding the inevitable. the 5th and even 7th house are much better places to look for sex. modern astrology has such a misconstrued view of the 8th house as some deep, intense sexy soul bearing place and that’s not what it is at all. i PROMISE you that if you become competent enough you’ll find intensity in some other aspect or placement in your synastry.

- 12th HOUSE SYNASTRY IS NOT SOULMATE SYNASTRY. I don’t even like speaking in absolute terms, I know a happily married couple where her aries stellium falls into his 12th (trining his leo venus, but i digress) but it’s more so the romanticizing of the 12th that drives me crazy. the 12th house is a place of mental anguish, suffering, isolation, and losing yourself. it is called the joy of Saturn, the greater evil-doer. it is a place of hidden enemies, and people who secretly sabotage you. if the ruler of the 7th is in the 12th, the partner can undermine you in some way. if the fourth house ruler is in the 12th, your parents or family could keep some secret from you. it is considered a bad house. the ancients called it “bad spirit” for a reason. tread carefully.

- sign affinity works! when all else fails keep it simple! you’re going to get along with people whose moon sign is in the same element as yours. if you’re a taurus venus, you just “get” other taurus placements, regardless of the house it falls in in your natal chart.

- 11th house synastry is good, and it’s not just cause you’d feel friendly feelings towards each other or whatever. the 11th house is called “good spirit” in ancient astrology, it’s the joy of jupiter. planets here are uplifting and supportive, so someone else’s planets falling here would have a similar effect. it’s warm. i especially like the moon here in synastry.

- nothing beats 7th house synastry. I don’t care, it’s the true house of merging and intimacy and closeness. the seventh house is where you find close bonds. 1st and 5th house are close second and thirds.

- don’t sleep on love asteroids! don’t make them the end all be all, planets will always tell the story best, but i’m currently obsessed with them at the moment. i could make a whole separate post on them.

- juno trines/squares/oppositions >>> juno conjunctions. i’ve seen the trines function much better than the conjunctions. goes back to my point about conjunctions being neutral. i have literally seen venus conjunct juno and saturn conjunct juno relationships fall apart while saturn trine juno, or jupiter square juno relationships thrive over years.

- the asteroid person is the one who feels it in synastry. they play out the myth/meaning through the planet person. this is what i’ve seen on an overarching level. if someone’s cupido conjuncts one of your planets, they have a crush/infatuation and you feel it, and may or may not reciprocate.

i think i’ll cap it here!

[thesunisatangerine]

playing for keeps – chapter three

alexia putellas x barçakeeper!childhoodfriend!reader

warnings: coarse language, light angst

(a/n in the tags) [chapters: one, two, three]

word count: 8.8k

[1]

Just before you turned thirteen your body, finally, began to change. 

While Alexia’d gone ahead of you a year prior—with her limbs now lanky and sinewy, and her muscles stretched close to the newly grown bones—you were left behind. She’d grown taller, yes; not by much but the two-inch difference (two and a half, as Alexia was always inclined to remind you) felt like a foot to you. So the change was welcome when it finally started, and more importantly, it happened to coincide with something that completely altered the trajectory of your life.

During the spring after your birthday, your father got a promotion at work. To celebrate this milestone, he took you and your mother for a trip around Europe. And as a gift for your hard work and for getting into La Masia with Alexia just a few months before, your parents surprised you with tickets to at least one game in the country, or area, you were visiting. 

In Gelsenkirchen, Germany, you found your destiny. 

Or at least that was how you liked to look at it. 

Before seeing the match between Schalke 04 against Stuttgart, the idea of keeping never entered your mind; you’d played forward your whole life, and you thought that would be the position you’d play in professionally. But as you saw Manuel Neuer controlling the outcome of the game with his hands, a spark ignited within you—this overwhelming surge—and right there and then, you were enlightened to the art of keeping. That spark returned home with you and, playing into the hands of fate, your journey to keeping began.

[2]

The crescendo of the cicadas’ song was this close to lulling you to sleep. It didn’t help that Alexia’d curled herself up beside you in your bed, her head on your lap while her math notebook laid forgotten at the foot of the bed, and her eyes already closed. It was a rare occurrence for the both of you and even more so for Alexia to ‘slack off’—if you were to put it as Alexia had—but this afternoon was a particularly hot one. Summer had practically bled into spring, and even someone like Alexia clearly wasn’t immune to its soporific effect. 

The numbers from the homework you were working on began to blur when you heard a knock downstairs. Out of curiosity or just surprise, you snapped awake. And so did Alexia, apparently.

“You expecting someone?” Alexia yawned, stretching out her long limbs before settling over to her other side. The movement made a lock of hair fall to her cheek which you brushed away with the back of your finger.

“No, it’s probably Mamá’s.” You hummed in answer, relaxing down on your pillow to finally chase that nap that continued to tempt you.

But then came your mother’s voice, “Guille! Hello, my boy! How are you?”

Alexia let out a startled yelp when you jumped out of the bed, now fully awake, tripping on the rug as you rushed into the closet. 

“What the hell? What are you doing?!” Alexia hissed with annoyance but you were too busy trying to get changed to address it. 

You snatched the closest pair of shorts and jersey shirt, and began to shed the ones you had on before you slipped the fresh ones on in quick succession. 

As you did, you began to explain, “I completely forgot! I was supposed to meet up with Guille today!”

When your head popped out of your shirt, you found a deep crease between Alexia’s brows. She was sitting in the middle of your bed, cross-legged, looking very much like a disgruntled cat woken from a nap with the way her hair stuck out in odd places. 

She looked adorable. 

You bit your tongue before you could say it.

Crossing her arms, Alexia retorted, “Why? It’s Saturday.” 

The tone she used made it seem that today being a Saturday was a valid enough reason for you to not go. 

“And it is because it’s Saturday—and no training, Alexia—that I can go with him.” 

At that, her frown only seemed to deepen. You had half a mind to tease her but you knew that’d probably just piss her off even more, although if you were being honest, you didn’t understand just why this seemed to bother Alexia so much.  So instead of teasing, you tried a placating tone, “You could come with if you want?”

Alexia opened her mouth, “I—”

Your mother’s shout cut through the air. 

“Honey? Guille is here for you!” 

You sent Alexia one last apologetic glance. 

“I’m really sorry! Please stay for dinner! I’ll be quick!” 

And with a quick hug goodbye, you rushed out of your room and practically flew down the stairs. At the bottom, you found Guille leaning against the bannister, hands in his short pockets, with a small rucksack on his back who, upon seeing you, gave you a bright smile.

“Hey! You look—” He began but then suddenly, his eyes darkened and the quirk of his lips turned upside down, his tone flattening, “Oh. You’re here.”

In the same second you noticed Alexia beside you, Alexia’d slung an arm over your shoulders.

“Lovely to see you as always, Guille. And I could say the same about you.” Alexia deadpanned, flashing Guille a smile full of teeth, her eyes void of any warmth as she stared at him down her nose. Then she turned to you, her face lighting up as she asked with a little too much excitement, “So, are we going or not?”

“Wait, she’s coming with us?” Guille blurted out, but before you could even answer, Alexia left your side and ran down the steps. 

“Of course, Guille! Come on, keep up!” Alexia exclaimed on her way out of the door, tapping Guille’s stomach as she did—not without force apparently with the way Guille expelled air out harshly. 

When you got to him, you placed a comforting hand on his shoulder. 

“Are you okay?”

He let out a strained, “Yes.”

You gave Guille an apologetic look, grabbing your ball bag. 

“I’m really sorry for the last minute change. I’ll make it up to you.”

Still clutching his stomach, he said, “Don’t worry about it.”

The three of you got to the field near your place—which you were glad to find empty—without any more incidents. You were faced with another problem as it was only after you’d begun warming up that you realized that in your haste to leave, you forgot to bring water with you. When you told Alexia, she offered to go to the nearest corner store to buy some.

You stretched as you waited for Alexia’s return when Guille suddenly said behind you.

“Here.”

Turning, you found him holding a paper parcel bag. You considered his outstretched hand with curiosity before you met his eyes, taking the bag from him slowly. “What’s this?”

“Just a little something to get you started,” he answered, scratching the back of his head. “You said you wanted to keep, so I thought you’d need them.”

Peering into the bag, you gasped at what you found inside. 

A new pair of keeper gloves.

“Guille, you didn’t have to!”

He shrugged, smiling, “Yeah, but I wanted to anyway.”

“Thank you! Come here, you big baby!” You laughed, throwing your arms around him. Unlike Alexia, Guille was only taller than you by mere centimeters so it was relatively easy to ruffle his hair as you pulled away. 

“Mess up my hair again and I won’t teach you anything,” He threatened with a faux glare as he swept his fingers through his curling locks in an attempt to tame them. 

You rolled your eyes, grinning at him. “Okay, Antonio Banderas. So, what are the basics?”

He imitated you, rolling his eyes before he shook his head slightly, his smile never leaving his lips. Then he pointed to a spot by the goal line. “Put your gloves on and stand right there.”

You did, noting the way your new gloves fit perfectly over your hands and fingers. It felt different—stuffy—and you could already feel your palms beginning to sweat from the trapped heat. When you stood where Guille pointed, he walked around you all the while he instructed you to correct your posture: he told you keep your feet shoulder-width apart, to bend your legs slightly so that your chest was just past your knees, and to hold your palms facing out. 

“The main thing to worry about starting out is your stance. It will take time to get the balance right but once you get it down, you’re set.”

“Is this alright?” 

Guille took a step back and he gripped his chin as he hummed. After a moment of scrutiny, he nudged you back suddenly. It wasn’t quite forceful but it made you tumble down on your rear all the same. 

You smiled at him sheepishly, getting up. “I guess that’s a no?”

“Yep. It looks like you keep your weight on your heels too much.” He crouched down at your feet, drawing a square over the front half of your foot. “Keep your weight spread out around here and you should—”

Guille scrambled back suddenly, yelping as a football went flying past where he was just a second ago and into the net. Turning to the direction where the ball came from with your mouth agape, you found Alexia there with water bottles clasped to her chest, an eyebrow raised, while one corner of her mouth was set in a bemused droop, another ball rolling beneath her left foot.

“What the hell was that for, asshole?!” Guille shouted as he stormed his way over to Alexia. He was in front of her now, looking up at her with flame in his eyes but Alexia remained unfazed. She put the water bottles down before she settled her hands on her hips, cocking her head slightly to the side. 

“I’m sorry, Guille. I didn’t see you.” Alexia said flatly, “And aren’t you supposed to be playing keeper?”

“Really. You didn’t see me? Besides—”

“Ale, I asked Guille to teach me.” You huffed, running in between them and separating them with your arms before things got out of hand—again. 

This wasn’t the first time this… row between them happened. In fact, you noticed it’s been occurring more frequently lately. For all their similarities—the main one being their short tempers—the two never got on well together for reasons you never really understood and the only thread that tied them together was you. 

They weren’t always like this though; they were nice with each other the first time they’d met. Guille transferred to your school not long after you’d joined Sabadell, and if you and Alexia were inseparable there, it was always you and Guille at school. And when an opportunity arose for your two favorite persons to meet, you took it. It went well; they were friendly with each other. You only noticed things had changed after you and Guille’s school team started playing against Alexia’s so you were never sure when this all started, and by that point, the friction between them was too great to smoothen out which both saddened and disappointed you.

And it wasn’t like you never tried to get to the bottom of it. You’d asked them what happened, they both gave similar answers. By that, you meant completely avoiding answering. 

Guille’d assured you, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, we’re friends? Don’t worry.” 

While Alexia’d said with a confused frown, “What do you mean? Nothing happened.” 

And when you pestered her, asked her if the reason was because she liked Guille as a joke, she looked at you without reply, and when next practice came, she made a nuisance of herself enough to let you know the answer to your question and more. 

And here you were again, with them acting like this–always at each other’s throats. 

At your answer, Alexia looked at you, confused. “Why would you ask him to teach you how to keep?”

Your gaze lanced away as you bit your lip.

Maybe you should’ve told her after all… 

Mustering up the courage to meet her eye again, you replied, low and serious. “I want to start playing keeper, Alexia.” 

Alexia blinked, and then she crossed her arms before she eyed Guille who was scowling at her in return. She looked at you again. 

“Have you told Alejandro about this?”

“Yes.” 

“Oh.” A pause. “What did he say?”

“I’ll still start as a forward. But he said he’ll put in some extra technical sessions for me starting next week which was why I asked Guille to help me get started. Alejandro said if I get good enough, he’ll see if I can start as keeper for the team.”

An uncomfortable silence settled over you three. 

You caught Guille’s eyes darting from you to Alexia and back again from the corner of your eyes but you remained focused on Alexia’s face. At a glance, Alexia might seem calm—impassive with the way all of her features remained flat. But her eyelids drooped just so they hid more than half of her pupils, how her lower lip was slightly concealed beneath the upper one; she was pissed and even worse, she was hurt. And knowing that you’d hurt her was enough to compel you to reach out and touch her arm, apologetic.

Alexia regarded you for a moment longer. Another word of apology was on the tip of your tongue when she finally sighed, the corner of her lips tilting up to a half-smile as she spoke softly. “Okay. How can I help?”

You couldn’t help yourself. You threw your arms around her and it felt like a weight was lifted from your chest upon hearing the chuckle she let out.

The next couple of hours were spent with the three of you working together: Guille by the goal who continuously gave you notes and instructions, while Alexia—upon Guille’s signal—would send some shots to the net so you could try and stop them. The first… fifty or so shots went right past you—going easy was never exactly Alexia’s strong suit—but the more you focused on getting the timing right and reading the language of Alexia’s body to anticipate the direction of the ball, you ended the session with a few decent saves. 

It was a rough start but you were satisfied with it.

You’d left to use the restroom but upon coming back, the two of them were bickering once more.

Oh, no. What was it now?

You heard more of their words the closer you got, but you didn’t have to move too close with the way they were shouting.

“Come on, dude! Please, don’t tell me you’re still pissed off about that? It was a fair match!”

“How was that fair, Alexia? The two of you playing together is never fair! You’re both in La Masia for crying out loud! And even more importantly, she was supposed to be on my team! That was the original plan, but you went ahead and took her away!”

“What made you think I took her away?” Alexia crossed her arms, scoffing. “Let’s face it. She likes to play with me more than you.”

“You don’t know that!”

That was the moment Alexia spotted you and before you could even get a word in, she said, “Why don’t we just ask her who she’d rather play with?”

Two sets of intense eyes looked your way and without meaning to, you gulped, taking a step back.

“So? Who would you rather play with: me or her?” Guille asked, eyes wide and pleading. 

Suddenly feeling like you were backed into a corner, you stammered in your panic, “Umm, I—”

[3]

Alexia stayed over for dinner that night. That was normal; what was unusual was she left you alone to do the dishes. You had a feeling where she might be, especially since she’d been mostly quiet throughout the whole evening.

After you put away the last dish in the cupboard, and when your arms were finally free from suds, you took a peek into the living room. She wasn’t there—a confirmation of her whereabouts.

Putting on your flip flops, you headed out of the back door. 

The light from the living room casted a faint glow that dissipated the darkness around the garden when you opened the door that led out to it, aiding you just enough to see Alexia on the swing, sitting still with her back hunched forward. Once you were just a few paces behind her, you saw the contours of her headset, but even with them on, there was no way she didn’t know you were there—the fact that your shadow stretched to reach her before you did was a dead give away. Yet still, she made no move to acknowledge your presence.

Okay. That was fair.

“Ale,” you said softly. 

She gave you a glance before she went back to looking down at her clasped hands. 

“Alexia, come on.” 

Still no response. You fiddled with your thumbs as the moment dragged on. 

You sighed, sitting down on your heels next to her.

“I should’ve told you about the keeper thing,” you muttered. “I wanted to get a feel for it first, to get a bit better at it before I told you. But I didn’t consider how that would make you feel… and I’m sorry. I’m sorry for making you feel that I didn’t want or need you by my side, Alexia. I wanted you to think I was good enough for this.” 

Finally, Alexia turned to you, taking her headset off, the movement barely above a whisper. And softly, she spoke, “What made you think that I’ll think you’re not good enough for anything?”

“I don’t know.” You admitted, pulling at the grass in front of you. Your mother would probably see the hole you’d made on the lawn and berate you for it in the morning but you needed something to keep your hands busy. “I just wanted to go through this without too many expectations. And it’s not like I don’t want to keep our dynamic going. I love playing forward with you, Alexia, but I think keeping is my calling, just like midfield is to you.”

“You don’t have to apologize. I completely understand. You didn’t want any added pressure. I’m not going to hold that against you.” 

“Thank you,” you smiled at her. Then, “So, tell me why are you sulking?”

“I’m not sulking!” Alexia huffed with indignation. Then she looked away again, working her lower lip between her teeth.

You put a hand on her knee. “Alexia, what is it?”

“I…” Alexia sighed, brushing the bridge of her nose with her thumb. You gave her another moment. She heaved another breath before she began.

“That thing you said… Did you really mean it when you said you’d rather play with him than me?”

Oh. So that was what this was about.

“Of course not. We both know it’s always going to be you, Alexia.”

“Then why did you tell him that?”

“I feel like if I didn’t, I’d lose him as a friend.”

“And you’re not worried about losing me?” Alexia cried out, her tone inflected while her eyes reflected her hurt.

You blinked at her. 

There were moments—just like now—where you’d feel a sudden urge to shake Alexia. For all her sharpness and unmatched awareness, she sometimes failed to see even the most obvious of things. Couldn’t she see that you loved her and that you’d follow her to the edge of the earth if she asked you to?

At the absurdity of her question, you really couldn’t help but laugh. You stood up and shuffled behind her before you threw your arms around Alexia’s neck, draping yourself over her broad back, which made the swing move forward. The dampness of her hair felt cool against your cheek, the scent of your shampoo that clung to them filled your senses as you chuckled into her ear. 

“Why are you laughing? I’m serious!”

“Because, Alexia, do you hear yourself? I love you, you idiot!” You giggled again. “I know our friendship isn’t that shallow that I’d lose you over this. Or am I wrong?”

Alexia turned her head and you saw a hint of a smile on her lips. “No, I suppose not.”

A pleasant silence blanketed you both. And then Alexia hummed.

“But if there was something that could break us, what do you think it would be?”

You stopped to ponder, twirling a lock of Alexia’s hair with your finger, noting her hair was nearly dry now. When your mind drew blank, you replied nonchalantly, “Honestly, I have no idea.”

“Good.” Alexia leaned away so she could give you a lopsided smile—an earnest one. “Because me neither.”

[4]

“—you okay?”

You blinked and turned to Alexia. “Hmm?”

She glanced at you for a moment before she turned back to what she was doing, sleeves rolled up as she scrubbed a plate in the soapy water in the sink.

“I said, are you okay? Is there something wrong? You’ve been out of it since practice.” When a moment of silence lapsed, Alexia added, “And don’t think I didn’t notice you on your swing the past few days, too, because I did.”

You looked out the window and watched how the rain sluiced down the glass pane. In the darkness behind the window, you saw glimpses of soaked, curly locks and heard the hasty confession all over again.

You sighed, blinking the memory away.

“Guille asked me out.”

The sound of glass shattering and metal clanging made you jump, and you watched as a casserole pot twirled like a top on the hard, kitchen floor, while fragments of a broken plate skittered out to different directions. 

“Oh, shit!” Alexia cursed, looking down at the mess, while a voice called out from the living room. 

“Alexia, is everything alright in there?'' Came Eli’s voice. A few seconds later, Jaume’s head popped into the kitchen. He glanced at you then his eyes settled on Alexia who was crouched down, looking up guiltily at her father.

“Are you okay, girls?”

“Yes, Papá. I just… dropped some stuff.” Alexia said. You crouched down, too, about to pick up a fragment when Jaume spoke.

“Don’t pick that up, love, you might cut yourself. I’ll do it.” 

Jaume shooed the two of you to a corner he deemed safe and the both of you watched as he picked up the pieces, throwing them in the bin by the back door. Afterwards, he gave Alexia a kiss on her temple, and you a hug and a ruffle to your hair, as he retired for the evening, leaving the two of you again in your own company. Alexia went back to the sink to finish up whatever was left, and you returned to your place on the counter beside her. 

The silence that intruded was cut short by Alexia when she cleared her throat, “So… what did you say?” 

“I haven’t said anything, yet,” you sighed again, looking back out the window, the questions coming back full force. In the eight years you’d known Guille, how long had he harbored those feelings for you? When did it happen? What did you do to make him feel that way?

“Do you like him?” Alexia’s question brought you back to the present.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you want him?”

“Isn’t that the same thing?” You laughed slightly, glancing back at Alexia who shrugged her shoulders in answer.

“No, I don’t think so. Desire is a drive, like it makes you want to act. Attraction is just… I don’t know how to explain it, but it’s a weaker feeling. And they complement each other but they’re not the same.”

“And you know this how exactly?” You asked her teasingly, a brow raised.

Alexia averted her eyes, and shrugged your question off with a laugh.

In the moment of silence that followed, you traced Alexia’s profile, and your gaze ended at the elegant curve of the bow of her lips. She looked so pretty casted in the candescent glow of the kitchen light that it made your chest ache just by looking at her. You dropped your eyes to your feet as your mind ran faster than before this entire conversation happened.

Clutching your arms tightly across your chest, you muttered, “I don’t know what I want.” 

[5]

Maybe hoping it would all turn out fine was a bit naive because naturally, Guille didn’t take your rejection well. It was your fault really for expecting otherwise but nevertheless, the inevitable discomfort of disappointment settled like lead in your gut. 

The thing was, you were ready to give Guille the space he needed to accept your boundaries—friends, or nothing at all—and to heal. But accusing Alexia of making you turn against him? Now, that was something you couldn’t let pass. 

He knew he’d crossed a line, too, with the way he kept avoiding you. At first, the silence didn’t bother you; he was hurt, after all. But when the apology never came, you understood that you’d be going through your last year of high school without your closest friend there by your side.

A fortnight passed without any word from him so it surprised you when he showed up at the local meetup that the three of you used to go to. He refused to meet your eyes but he had no problem leveling with the glares Alexia kept giving him. And when you ended up in Alexia’s team, the only sign of his distaste about it was the way his lips flattened to a line. He looked like he was about to say something, but with a slight shake of his head, he turned around and made his way to his teammates.

With one last look at Guille’s retreating back, you tuned back in your team’s conversation.

“—doesn’t need to play keeper. We need her more in the offensive.” Alexia said evenly but when you met her eyes, there was a clear question in them. 

You gave her a slight nod to let her know you were okay. 

She nodded back.

“How will that work? She’s the better keeper.” And then Marco added, “No offense, Julia.” 

Julia only shrugged carelessly, a gesture of nonchalance.

“Julia is perfectly fine and besides, with you, Benji, and Carmen, our backline is already strong. The four of you together lessens our chance of conceding.” Alexia paused, looking over her shoulder to the other team before she faced you all again, continuing, “Our priority is the offensive. What good is a strong backline if we can’t counterattack? That’s why I’m suggesting she play as forward in the meantime, while Martina and I will play as interiors. Does that make sense?”

A collective nodding occurred.

“So just to clarify, we’re playing three–two–one?” Benji asked.

Alexia hummed, nodding her head. “Mostly. If we find the space and some opportunities, we can easily do three–one–two.”

“No pressure on us defenders, right?” Carmen said with a laugh, if not with a hint of nerve. 

Everyone laughed but at the end of it, Alexia placed a hand on Carmen’s shoulder. “No pressure because you guys, as I said, are very strong. You got this.”

Carmen smiled at Alexia at that, nodding before she finally moved to her spot. As you and Alexia moved towards the middle of the pitch, Guille was introduced to your line of sight, and a weight pressed in your gut. Disappointment? Perhaps. Or maybe you just actually missed talking and hanging out with him.

Alexia’s teasing tone pulled away your attention from Guille.  “I hope you haven’t forgotten how to play forward from all the keeping you’ve been doing.”

“Four years of keeping against the five years of playing forward? You need to brush up on your math ‘cause I think you’ve forgotten how to count.” You said dryly, giving her a look so dirty that had her throwing her head back in laughter.

Alexia leveled you with an unimpressed look but her tone remained playful. “You are such a bitch sometimes. You know that, right?”

“Thank you. I do try, you know. It’s my only defense against your smart-mouth.”

“Stop denying you don’t like my teasing.” Alexia waggled her brows as she smirked. The way she looked just then—with both hands on her hips, the ball beneath her left boot—your throat dried, heart racing; a sensation that’d familiarized itself to you during its recurrent visits over the past few weeks. Your mind blanked out, clear as the white of Alexia’s shirt, and when no words came to you to retort back, you shook your head and just laughed. By the time the game started—or maybe it was because it started—the feeling finally went away, replaced by the adrenaline that shot through your veins the moment Alexia kicked the ball to you.

It proved to be a tight game. The main strategy of the opposition seemed to be to mark and shut you and Alexia down whenever the ball so much turned your way. Alexia was right to trust your backline: any counterattack from the other team was dealt with immediately, and Julia only needed to save a handful of shots that passed through your defense, which she handled well.

At last, your team finally made a breakthrough.

Alexia cut a diagonal through the box, taking two of the defenders as she did, freeing up the space just behind her. You knew what she was doing so you faked a sidestep, turning quickly to lose your marker, before you sprinted in towards the middle of the box. And as you anticipated, Alexia sent the ball back to you with a flick of her heel. Now, if you could just—

The ground tilted, and there was a moment where the whole world suspended. It lasted for less than a breath before everything—the sensations and sounds—came rushing back in.

You slammed to the ground. 

Air was squeezed out of your lungs from the impact, while your skull and teeth rattled within the confines of your skin; the taste of green, earth, and copper spread on your tongue. Muffled shouts and grunts filtered past the ringing in your ear but when you cupped a hand over your tender ribs, your resulting groan was all you could hear.

When you finally came to, Alexia’s face was over you, the doubled image of her finally merging into one. Her wide, hazel eyes looked on you with worry and you felt the warmth of her fingers as they grazed over your face: from your temples down to your cheeks which she took in a gentle cradle.

“Alexia?” You let out another groan as you turned on your back while Alexia helped you.

“Tell me where it hurts.”

There was a tension that constricted around the front part of your head, but you could feel the blood pulsing most on the side that collided with the ground. “My head… it hurts.”

“Okay, okay. Just lay down for now, I’ll get you…”

You seemed to have passed out after that because one moment you were lying on the fields, and the next you were beside Alexia on her living room couch. You had a vague recollection of being carried on Alexia’s back, but the feel of the strong plane of her shoulder against your cheek remained there, warm and comforting. 

And only then, after Eli gave you ice for your head, did you see the bruise that bloomed deep in the skin of Alexia’s jaw, just below her left cheek, and the scuffed knuckles of her right hand which were splotched with deep reds and purples.

You took her hand onto your lap, gently running over the ice for your head over her knuckles, while you looked at Eli sitting on the opposite couch with Jaume beside her. Eli’s face burnt redder than you’d ever seen before, while Jaume held onto her hand, circling his thumb over the top of it in an attempt to calm her down.

Alexia remained quiet the whole time, eyes casted down as she took her mother’s reprimanding words. There was the unmistakable shine of shame in them, her guilt, but also an unwavering quality that stood for what she did. At the end of it, Eli and Jaume hugged the both of you before letting you retreat into Alexia’s room as you waited for your parents to arrive.

Instead of getting on her bed with you, Alexia plopped down on the floor just by the foot of the bed, her back against the wooden bedframe. You regarded the back of her head, her neck curved downwards, and you suddenly felt the need to be close to her so you shuffled off her sheets, and got down beside her. 

“Thank you, but your mother was right, you know? You shouldn’t have done it, Alexia.” You mumbled, unfurling her fingers to rest on your knee so you could access more of her knuckles that way. Gently, you placed ice over it, but she still hissed in pain. “You shouldn’t have punched him.”

“Why not? He deserved it.” Alexia said evenly as she stared at the far corner of the room. “And before you start defending him, you didn’t see what I saw—what the rest of us saw. He didn’t even touch the ball—it was all feet. He meant to trip you up.” 

Warmth bloomed in your chest at her words—at how her action showed just how much you meant to her—but the discomfort in your gut marred the surge of your affection for her. 

You took a deep breath, sighed it out, and it tasted like disappointment. 

“Alexia, I appreciate the gesture, I do. But you can’t just hurt people just because they did something to me.” 

Alexia puffed her chest and proclaimed, “I can.”

“Stop that nonsense, Alexia. I mean it.” Firmer now, you said, and there was a hint of desperation in the intonation of your words. There was an urgent need to make Alexia understand the gravity of what she did, what future implications it held if what Eli and you told her didn’t sink in now. “Actions like this can jeopardize you, Alexia, and all the things you worked hard for. Do you understand that? What will Alejandro say when he sees you all bruised up next practice? And if I get tackled dirty during a game and I get hurt, would you risk a red card, or suspension, for behaving like this?”

Alexia became silent, the muscle in her jaw working, and when she turned to you with her mouth open and you spotted a defiant crease in her brows, you were quick to stop her.

“If the answer to that question isn’t no, Ale, I don’t want to hear it.” The sound of teeth clattering filled the air. She casted her gaze aside again, her cheeks growing a shade deeper. “Look at me, Alexia.”

When she kept her eyes glued to the floor, you dropped the ice pack to take her face in your hands. She flinched from the coldness of your fingers but as you looked into her eyes, rimmed with redness and framed by drooping eyelids, you found exhaustion and the shine of apology. You brushed away a matted lock of hair from the tail end of her brow.

“You have a good heart, Alexia, but you have to promise me. Please don’t do something like this again. Ever.” 

Alexia looked into your eyes, deeply as if in contemplation, and then she closed them. A moment later, she sighed, sagging into your touch as if a weight had left her shoulders, before she opened them again. 

“I promise.” 

This time, you believed her.

Smiling softly at her, you whispered, while you placed a light kiss on her cheek. “Thank you.”

Settling into the moment, you rested your head against Alexia’s shoulder, her bruised hand in yours. In the brief silence before your father arrived to pick you up, Alexia spoke in an earnest tone that made your stomach flutter.

“I know you can handle yourself, but that won’t stop me from having your back.”

At her words, your heart felt like it would burst your chest open. And you should’ve known that this was where you’d end up—with her, it seemed inevitable anyway—because the years of you’d known Alexia flashed quickly before your eyes, and the memory stopped to this person beside you, haloed golden by the warm glow of her bedside lamp, and you were hit with a realization that took what little breath you had away.

You liked Alexia.

And, even more importantly, you want her.

[6]

When you got on the field in a Barça jersey for the first time after your return, you didn’t expect to be welcomed like you did. Jona subbed you on after the first half and as you left the tunnel, you heard the crowd chanting your name. The cheers made you feel excited, accepted and seen, but you’d be lying if you said that it didn’t pressure you at all.

It was originally intended for you to come on during the last twenty minutes, but seeing as Caro, Patri, and Alexia gave the team a comfortable enough lead, Jona decided to sub you on ahead of schedule. You didn’t see much action on your end though, something that you didn’t mind at all—a quiet defensive-third was the best kind. The midfielders kept the midline high to sustain pressure in the offensive-third, while the defenders maintained such a tight backline that any loose through-balls sent to the opposing runners were called offside. Of course, there were a handful of times when you needed to get out of your box to ping the ball back into the offensive, but other than that, it was quiet. When the match ended, you were satisfied that Barça had another clean sheet and four goals to add to the season tally.

For the celebration, you moved with your teammates around Estadi Johan Cruyff, and during the procession, you spied your parents, Eli, and Alba who was talking to a raven-haired woman you’d never seen before, clapping and cheering. Warmth filled you upon seeing your family in the stands again—such a scene was a luxury when you were in the States because plane tickets weren’t exactly cheap—and when you felt the familiar weight of Alexia’s arm slung over your shoulders, the fabric of her captain armband against the skin of your neck, it felt like a perfect homecoming.

Well, almost.

After you’d showered and changed to your casuals, most of the crowd had gone while some lounged about, one of which was the raven-haired woman Alba was talking to. When Alexia took her hand, you knew instantly, and your heart—damn your heart—dropped.

“This is Diana,” Alexia said after the both of them made their way to you. And if it wasn’t their intertwined hands that revealed what they were to each other, their gaze—saccharine when they met—made it all the more clear the nature of their relationship long before Alexia said the words, “my girlfriend.”

Diana beamed up at Alexia, her cheeks deepening in color before she regarded you again, sticking her hand out towards you to shake. Preceding the intention, you took her hand and when you did, Diana placed her other hand over yours, clasping your hand between her warm palms.

“It’s so nice to finally meet you. Alexia’s talked so much about you.” 

She did? Your eyes flitted to Alexia but when she shied away from that, you focused back on Diana’s face. She was stunning: with her high cheekbones carved to elegance, her brows following the perfect line of her temple, her full lips painted with a terracotta shade made deeper by the bronze of her skin, while her loose, straight, raven hair framed her face in such a way that accentuated the sharpness of her jaws. Her eyes were dark but still light enough to see the outline of her pupils, and they had an amiable shape that reflected her warm nature. And for some reason, her light brown eyes looked really familiar—

“Ah! My favorite cousin made it, after all! Although I’m not sure it was me you went to the game for!” Tori’s playful voice resonated in the near-barren corridor. Diana’s eyes flicked somewhere behind you—to Tori, you supposed.

“Don’t be like that, Tori, of course I came to see you, too!”

“Lies!”

Diana shook her head, laughing, as she took Tori in her arms. “Come here, you!”

In response, Tori said something in Portuguese that made Diana laugh. When they broke apart, Diana said, “Forget you? Never. Especially when I owe you one.”

“Owe her what?” Alexia asked with her brows creased with curiosity.

Diana took Alexia’s hand and squeezed it, looking up at Alexia with a gentle expression. “For giving us the chance to meet.”

“Damn right!” Tori exclaimed, putting both hands on her hips, as she grinned so wide that her dimple showed. Tori must’ve seen your confusion because she leaned in to whisper, “I brought Diana as my plus one for last year’s Ballon D’Or ceremony.”

You allowed your mouth to drop open before you smiled, letting out a small laugh that made your chest ache. “Ah, I see.”

“She kept complaining about going but now, aren’t you grateful I took you away from your precinct, Detective Beauregard?” Tori teased.

“She’s never going to let us live this down, will she?” Diana muttered dryly to Alexia but it was deliberately loud enough for all of you to hear. In response, Alexia threw her head back laughing. 

“You’re a detective? That’s amazing!” You said, impressed.

“Please, Tori’s exaggerating. I work in forensics. DNA analyst is the correct title.” Diana threw Tori a dirty look to which the other woman raised her shoulders in response. “It’s a whole different world compared to yours so—and please don’t let this get to your head, Tori—I am grateful I was able to step into it.”

Her eyes, still locked with Alexia’s, grew all the more soft.

“Get a room, you guys,” Tori said with a mock sound of disgust, and then she continued to mutter, “And to think that you’ve only been going out for four months… I don’t even want to think about how it will be like in another three months.”

At that, Alexia raised a brow and then, “Want to do some extra laps tomorrow?”

You and Tori knew Alexia was joking, but Tori being Tori, she spluttered, “That would be a hard no, Captain. I’ll just—Have a great night!” 

With that, she ran away, arms flailing behind her in an exaggerated manner as she hastily made her exit. The sight drew laughter from the three of you.

“We’re having dinner at Mamá’s, want to come over?” Alexia asked.

You shook your head, flashing a look at Diana, before you told Alexia,“Not tonight. I’m just about to head over to my parents’ as well.”

“Alright. But Alba’s going to ask about you, you know? I think she wants to hang  out with you.”

You laughed. “Tell her to text me. She’ll know what that means.”

“Is that something I should know about?” Alexia smirked.

Flatly, you retorted, “If it’s something that concerns you, I’d be telling you by now, right?” 

“You see what I have to deal with?” Alexia told Diana, almost whining.

Inching backwards, you said as dry as you could manage, “I’ll take that as my queue to leave, Alexia might start crying. She’s a crybaby, you know?” 

“Hey! I’m not—”

“No need to be embarrassed about it, Alexia. Be proud!”

Diana only laughed, saying, “Alright, kids, I think that’s enough for tonight.”

Nodding, you grinned at Alexia while she mouthed the word ‘bitch’ to you. In kind, you mouthed ‘smartmouth’ back. With a shake of her head and a smile, she gave you one last hug, and after a pleasant goodnight from Diana, the three of you parted ways.

You sent them a look over your shoulder, catching a glimpse of the watch around Alexia’s left wrist. It glinted as they walked together down the corridor, hand in hand, looking as in love as any new couple would. 

The sight made you smile, but it felt heavy, and as if the universe wanted to rub salt to the wound, you found Patri outside the locker room when you turned around with a look akin to pity in her eyes.

[7]

The next day, Guille stopped by at your place. He’d given you notice a few days prior but even still, the moment you saw him behind the door, you squealed like you were ten again from your excitement. After you hugged him tight—he made a choking noise when you did to tease you—you held him at arm’s length to see what changes the last few months had done to him.

He looked different. Gone were the long, dark curls; now sheared close to his scalp that left only about an inch of length, his hair retained their luscious shine, their color still as dark as night. 

His scar—the one just by the tail end of his left brow—that used to see little light from the obstruction of his hair, now stood apparent and without meaning to, the day he got it came back to you: the bruised knuckles, ice-cold fingers, and the warm blush of a lamplight.

 And your chest ached a little.

Leading the conversation to the living room, the two of you ended up ordering takeaways—mostly for Guille’s benefit because you weren’t about to subject him to your football diet—and as you ate, the two of you caught up.

Guille was close to finishing his dissertation—the biomechanics of concussion in sport and its neurocognitive implications—and he was both excited and fearful about what would come next. He then talked about his girlfriend, Iris, smittenly if you might add. She was actually with him in the city, but his mother insisted she steal Iris for the day for some quality bonding, and you laughed at the repertoire of stories he’d relayed in great detail about his mother’s teasing of their relationship.

“When am I going to meet Iris?” You asked with a teasing tone.

He rolled his eyes, “Well, since you’re actually staying in Barcelona this time, we can arrange that.”

A pause, and then, “Is Alexia staying here, too, or are you here by yourself?”

“No, it’s just me here.”

“Oh. I thought the two of you’d be rooming again like—” Probably seeing your change in demeanor, Guille cleared his throat as he ate his pasta a bit too eagerly. “Speaking of, how is she?”

The question was casual but you knew it was anything but.

“She’s doing good, if not a little stressed. Our first Champions League game is just around the corner after all and it’s against Chelsea, so.” You shrugged to complete your thought. You knew what he was asking but you’d rather not talk about that.

His eyes could burn a hole on the side of your head by the way he stared at you in the silence that followed. Then he sighed deeply.

“She still doesn’t know.”

Tension filled every inch of your body and you shrank tight as a coiled spring. You stood up as you felt a sudden urge to get away from him, taking the used plates on the coffee table as a pretense to move from the couch to the sink.

“What’s it to you if she doesn’t know, Guille?” You asked flatly, rolling up your sleeves after you turned the tap on.

“I just want you to be happy. Is that so wrong?”

“And who says I’m not?” Your tone was flat and when you glanced at him over your shoulder, Guille only gave you a pointed look.

Then he said softly, “She could make you happier and you know it.”

And there it was again, that look in his eyes that you just couldn’t stand. Gritting your teeth, you gripped the edge of the sink and your voice quaked when you spoke. “Please stop talking like that.”

“Like what?”

“Like,” you tried to find the words but when they evaded you, you huffed and threw your hands up in the air. “Why are you making it sound like I have a chance?”

“Because you do! You’re the one who’s not giving Alexia a chance by not telling her.”

“Give me one good reason why I should.”

“She loves you.”

A pause.

“That’s bullshit.” You shook your head, letting out a small, disbelieving laugh. As much as your heart wanted that to be true, you knew otherwise.

“It’s really fucking not.” Guille countered.

“If she did, she wouldn’t have said what she did.” 

“People say stupid shit when they’re drunk.”

“That can go the other way, too. Alcohol has a way of loosening what’s been bottled.”

“Oh, come on!” Guille scoffed. “You’ve known her since you were eight. You’ve been through thick and thin together! Do you really think she wanted you to leave?”

With the reminder, the memory sprung up on you and you could hear Alexia’s voice, grating and wrenching your heart raw again when you heard the words from her lips. You whirled around to face him, eyes burning.

“You weren’t there when she told me, Guille!” You breathed out sharply and then you continued, in a lower tone filled with resignation, you whispered as you buried your face in your palms. “You didn’t hear the way she said it. You didn’t—”

You choked on your words. 

After all this time, it was still too painful.

Darkness filled your vision but the tears escaped nonetheless, branding tracks down your cheeks. You heard the rustling of clothes followed by soft footsteps. Before you knew it, Guille’s arms wrapped around your shoulders and his familiar, comforting scent made you sink into the embrace.

“You’re right. I wasn’t there. But if you could forgive me for being an asshole and what I did to you, why can’t you do the same with her?”

You didn’t say anything after that, only clutched at his shirt a little tighter.

Guille kept quiet, too.

The both of you knew just the reason why.

[8]

“Did you see the news?” Jona asked as he kept the door open for you to an empty meeting room, closing it as soon as you’d gone in. 

Sitting down on one of the cushioned chairs, you said, “I did.”

You saw it this morning and you’d be lying if you said it didn’t faze you. 

Jona nodded, taking the chair across the table from you. He put his clasped hands on the wooden surface and the way he tapped an erratic rhythm with his thumbs didn’t help your nerves.

“Lyon paid a hefty transfer fee for her and that makes me worried. I don’t know what Bompastor is planning to do with her but her transfer to the European league will be a concern for the club.” With a pensive crease appearing between his brows, he continued. “You probably know why I asked you to come in.”

“You want me to tell you what I know about her.”

He nodded, leaning forward as if to emphasize his point. “She’s a lethal forward and you’re the only one in the club who’s ever played with her. In fact, you two seemed very close during your time in Angel City.”

You crossed your arms, leaning back into your chair, frowning slightly. “I don’t know what you’re trying to say.”

Jona blinked at you.

Then slowly, “Surely you must’ve trained closely together considering she’s a forward and you’re a keeper? Unless training was vastly different in Angel City, then I’m sorry for the assumption.”

“O–Oh, I thought you were implying—” You shook your head, uncrossing your arms as you waved the rest of your sentence away. “Never mind. But yes, that’s right.”

Jona gave you another questioning look before speaking again. 

“She’s going to be a big problem. And that’s why I’m going to change things up a bit. I want to put you in the starting lineup as soon as possible—put as many games with our current team under your belt. We’ll most likely face Lyon in the Quarters and that’s unfortunate but what is great is that you’re here: the best counter to what Lyon acquired. If we could eliminate Lyon early, we have a higher chance of winning this year’s Champions League. The question is, are you ready for it?”

“That’s what I’m here for, Jona.” You said seriously, ignoring the pressure that pressed in the periphery of your mind.

“Use me.”

[ezekiel-krishna]

☘️ 9th Lord in All Houses { Part 1 }

◇◇ Fortune, Prosperity, Higher Learnings & Spirituality ◇◇

⇝ Your Guide to Check Your Placement (Vedic Astrology)

1st Step ⇨ Go to Vedic Astrology Calculator

2nd Step ➚ Enter Your Details & Press { Calculate Sidereal Chart }

3rd Step ⇨ Find the 9th House Ruler as per the {Sign & Symbol}

"Example here , 9th House is Ruled By Aquarius & Its Lord is Saturn which is in 7th House thus Your [ 9th Lord is in the 7th House. ] "

9th Lord in 1st House

When the ninth lord enters the first house, it brings great fortune as you are easily able to gain favor from superiors, your boss, or government authorities. They recognize something special in you, leading to promotions and assistance. Having the ninth lord in the first house often results in local fame or even worldwide recognition due to your past good deeds, putting you in a position where you will be noticed. Additionally, this placement indicates a focus on learning and education, with higher learning, philosophy, and wisdom coming your way. Good education is highlighted here, and you may also possess good looks as the first house represents our physical body.

This combination of the ninth, first, and fifth houses is considered auspicious in Vedic astrology, known as the 'Bringers of prosperity and Good Fortune.' This alignment can lead to increased monetary wealth and good fortune. You may establish connections with people from foreign lands or have business dealings with individuals from faraway places. For the highest level of good fortune, the moon must be well-placed and connected to the ninth house lord. For example, if Jupiter is the ninth lord, you may gain wisdom and knowledge, while if it is Mercury , you could be seen as charming, humorous, and popular.

Prayers and manifestation can truly work wonders in this position, especially when it comes to finding a good spouse or partner. Being able to pray together, share religious beliefs, or have a similar philosophical outlook can bring you and your partner closer, leading to happiness in your marital life. Having the ninth Lord in the first house generally indicates positive relationships with your spouse, children, father, and education.

However, if there are any malefic aspects or conjunctions with the 9th Lord, it's important to perform a remedy to enhance your good fortune. These obstacles may stem from your early childhood environment, home life, or even issues related to inheritance and legacies. For married individuals, it could involve challenges from your partner's relatives, in-laws, or business partners.

Additionally, it's crucial to check if there are any planets in your fourth or eighth house. For example, having Mars in the fourth house could indicate obstacles from siblings, especially brothers. Maintaining ethical standards in your professional life is essential too, as failing to take full responsibility for your actions could lead to fluctuations in your good fortune. Remember, while having the 9th Lord in the 1st house generally brings positive outcomes, it's important to handle relationships and responsibilities with care.

9th Lord in 2nd house

When the ninth lord resides in the second house, it has the potential to enhance your skills and pave the way for direct success through their utilization. This placement also brings about a heightened level of sensuality, as the second house is associated with the senses, consumption, and food. While your skills can contribute to increasing your wealth, it is important to be mindful of the potential consequences of excessive consumption. This may manifest as eating behavior problems, overeating, dietary issues, alcoholism, or other forms of addiction.

It is crucial to pay attention to both your consumption habits and your speech, as the way you communicate can either make or break your fortune. You may have certain weaknesses that prevent you from always being completely honest. However, it is essential to strive for straightforwardness and honesty in your speech, while avoiding excessive self-judgment. If the moon is your ninth lord, or if it aspects or resides in the second house, it further enhances your fortune. With the ninth lord in the second house, you possess a powerful speech that can influence others. Therefore, it is of utmost importance to be honest and cautious with your words.

Your destiny is greatly influenced by the power of your words. Not only can you excel as a writer, media personality, communicator, blogger, or internet personality, but any role that allows you to connect with a wide audience will bring you success. Whether it's through inheritance, a family business, or a joint venture, working with others to increase your income can also lead to financial prosperity. This position holds great potential for you, as long as you stay true to your moral path.

You have the ability to receive blessings from various sources, such as working with non-human beings, the medical field, or even from your subordinates. By being honest, open, and effective in your communication, you can also gain blessings from your superiors and advance in your career. However, be aware that this position may pose challenges to your education or learning experiences. You may encounter difficulties with a child or your father, which could hinder your academic progress.

In relation to your mother or domestic life, you will face numerous trials and circumstances that will test you. It is crucial to maintain your moral compass and always choose the right course of action. You have responsibilities and duties towards your friendships, network circle, and even your elder siblings. It is important to be responsible and supportive towards them, as they may require your assistance at some point. Ultimately, you will find yourself contributing to the wider society and performing good deeds that will enhance your own fortune.

9th Lord in 3rd House

Having the 9th lord in the 3rd house can bring you great fortune through your siblings or cousins. It is quite common for them to play a significant role in your life, bringing you luck in various ways. This placement also indicates that you possess skills or talents in areas such as music, communication, practicality, art, or any other skill that can enhance your good fortune.The 3rd house is associated with communication and writing, so having the 9th lord in this house gives you the confidence to face the public. However, it is important to note that severe afflictions can sometimes hinder this confidence. Nonetheless, overall, this placement empowers you to express yourself effectively and communicate with others.

Since the 9th lord also represents your father, there may be instances of separation or disputes with him. However, it is crucial for you to take the initiative to resolve these issues on your own. By doing so, you not only mend your relationship with your father but also increase your good fortune.Furthermore, following the path of righteousness and staying true to your values can significantly enhance your fortune. It increases the likelihood of finding a devoted and focused life partner who can contribute to your overall well-being.

Your friends will always be there to support and assist you, and owning property and inheriting wealth from your mother's family is a fortunate position to be in. However, there may be obstacles in the form of your subordinates or colleagues at work who could create difficulties for you. To overcome these challenges, it is important to cultivate patience and handle these situations with a sense of righteousness. By doing so, you will be able to eliminate any complications that arise.

Furthermore, it is crucial to exercise patience when dealing with your boss or superiors, even if your chances of promotion seem to be blocked. Consider it as a test of your character. Additionally, your children may also test your patience at times, but it is important to remain calm and virtuous in your approach. Taking responsibility for your debts and avoiding unnecessary spending or speculation will also contribute to increasing your good fortune. Make it a habit to regularly clear your debts, and you will see your fortunes grow.

9th Lord in 4th house

When the ninth lord enters the fourth house, it brings another wonderful blessing to your life. This placement has the potential to increase your overall wealth, especially through property. You will experience great happiness in your domestic life and have the ability to enjoy all the luxuries life has to offer. However, it is important to maintain truthfulness and righteousness in your domestic affairs, especially when dealing with your influential mother. While your good actions have brought you this fortune, it is crucial not to take it for granted or succumb to temptation.

This position generally instills confidence and a deep inner happiness in your life. Property, land, and investments are particularly favorable for you, as they contribute to your prosperity, happiness, and fortune. Some of your prosperity and fortune may be connected to inheritance or business dealings. Additionally, living in a foreign land or purchasing property there can bring favorable outcomes.

However, there may be occasional challenges in terms of promotions or success, which can be frustrating. But with patience, you will undoubtedly achieve your goals. By staying honest, truthful, and righteous, you may receive favors from people, especially your superiors. At times, you may face ill fame, but once again, patience, honesty, and righteous actions will win people over to your side.

Your children will inherit your fortune and receive a good education. You have the freedom to explore creative and artistic projects, as well as engage in speculative games. Despite the positive outlook, there may be obstacles stemming from your spouse. Stay strong and do not let their actions lead you astray. Overcome challenges to maintain happiness and prosperity. Friendships and social circles may also present challenges, with friends potentially interfering in your marriage. Be prepared to face tests from various people in your life, including your partner, friends, subordinates, business partners, and colleagues. Stay patient and kind to overcome these obstacles.

Competitors and enemies will also test you, but it is your responsibility to uphold your good fortune. Maintain high moral standards and stay true to yourself for prosperity to continue flowing.

9th Lord in 5th house

When your ninth house Lords enter the fifth house, it's a straightforward equation: having children equals an increase in fortune. The sooner you tie the knot and start a family, the sooner your luck will soar. While male offspring are traditionally associated with Jupiter, the natural ruler of the ninth house, any child of yours will bring about an increase in fortune.

However, the influence of your fifth house Lord also plays a role. In some cases, your fortune is tied to higher learning, mantras, and the pursuit of truth or following a spiritual guide. Since the fifth house represents education, a solid academic foundation can greatly enhance your luck. You may also have a special connection or responsibility towards young people in general. Whether it's through teaching, working with children, offering guidance, or simply being an exceptional parent, these actions will undoubtedly bring about an increase in fortune. Remember, it's all part of the continuation of your past life journey.

This placement is highly beneficial for international business ventures, academic pursuits, spiritual growth under a mentor, and maintaining a good reputation abroad. Your father's influence may resemble that of a mentor or guide from a past life.Challenges may arise from in-laws, joint business ventures, stock market investments, or inheritance matters. Difficulties with foreign individuals or in foreign countries may also occur, so consulting the fourth house lord is advised for a comprehensive understanding if considering living abroad.

Marriage may present significant tests, particularly in terms of communication with your spouse. Patience and kindness towards your spouse and family members are essential to overcome any obstacles. Neglecting your duties and responsibilities to your family may lead to a decline in your good fortune.

9th Lord in 6th House

The presence of the 9th lord in the 6th house can create numerous obstacles and challenges for your fortune. However, there is one saving grace - your hard work. The more effort you put in, the greater your fortune will grow. This position is definitely suited for a self-made individual. By working diligently, you are effectively purifying your sixth house, paving the way for your fortune to expand. The placement of your 9th lord in the sixth house is a result of your past life karma. It is worth noting that this house also represents enemies, so it is no surprise that some of your adversaries have carried over into this incarnation.

Over time, you will gradually identify these individuals. They could be friends, family members, or even colleagues. You will sense an underlying tension in these relationships, which stems from past life enmity. However, depending on the nature of your 9th lord, you may find satisfaction in confronting these challenges. Legal work, policing, or serving in the army may appeal to you as avenues to continue your battles in some form. This is especially true if your ninth lord is a malefic planet such as Saturn, Rahu (North Node), Ketu (South Node), or Mars.

Remember, fortune favors those who decrease enmity in their lives rather than increasing it. Those with the ninth Lord in the sixth house often find themselves drawn to the medical field, where they can help others fight disease or work with small animals in a medical capacity. Consider entering a business partnership or working closely with someone in business - it could lead to success. Focus on creating partnerships, not animosity, and even marriage could bring good fortune. Strive for career success by competing with your peers, but always maintain your ethical standards. Wealth will come your way, but remember that your ethics will play an important role if compromised,you may have to fight to protect your family members.

Be cautious when dealing with foreign lands or in your education, as there may be competitors who do not share your values. You may face karmic challenges with your father, so approach these situations with patience. Keep an eye on your health, especially if Saturn or Rahu are involved, and make sure to exercise regularly. While business partnerships can be beneficial, be prepared for ups and downs. Your in-laws may present challenges, and you may face ethical tests with your siblings. Fulfill your responsibilities to your siblings to increase your fortune.

9th Lord in 7th House

Your marriage or business partnership has the potential to greatly increase your fortune. However, it is important to consider the influence of the ninth house Lord, especially if it is a malefic planet like Saturn, Rahu (North Node), Ketu (South Node), Mars, or even the Sun at times. Such planetary influences can pose challenges in finding and maintaining a successful marriage or long-term commitment. Nevertheless, as time goes by, you will come to realize how much your fortune has grown since getting married or entering into a committed relationship. The doors of opportunity that were once closed will now open wide, revealing new possibilities that were previously unimaginable.

Having the ninth house Lord in the seventh house grants you special skills or talents that come in handy when you are in a committed relationship. It is often the fortune of others that propels you forward in life. While business partnerships can be fortunate on their own, they are even more beneficial when combined with a committed relationship or business alliance.When you join forces with someone else, whether in a personal or professional capacity, your fortune is bound to rise. This is because the influence of past life karma is at play in the seventh house. Your actions and deeds from previous lifetimes directly impact your first spouse or major relationship, which serves as a continuation of something significant from your past life.

Success in speculation, stock market, inheritance, and foreign business dealings can be highly rewarding. Not only will your in-laws favor you, but you will also attract fortunate friends who will bring positivity into your life. However, it's important to note that malefic influences may occasionally dampen your success, but overall, your friends and siblings will be a source of support and good fortune. The main obstacles you may face will come from your superior or boss, who might create promotion difficulties or career challenges. Remember to always stay true to your principles and values, even if you encounter difficulties in finding the right career or workplace.

It's crucial to be mindful of your words, as they can either work for or against you. Practice ethical and kind communication with others, and never lose your patience. Additionally, be aware that your family members may also pose some obstacles along the way. In such cases, it's important to identify the significator, especially if it is Mars. While siblings are generally beneficial, one brother represented by Mars may cause some issues, so it's essential to analyze your specific birth chart.

Furthermore, be prepared to face tests and challenges in foreign lands, particularly with your teachers, mentors, or gurus. If you have a guru, they will evaluate your progress, and your father may also test you. Therefore, while interacting with these individuals, maintain the highest ethical and moral standards.

You also have karmic responsibility towards your mother, as she may occasionally bring challenges into your life. This burden of karma weighs heavily upon you. It is essential for you to fulfill your responsibilities towards your mother, your home life, and your possessions. Moreover, you might even have an inheritance, as I mentioned earlier. By maintaining a clean and organized home, free from clutter and dirt, you pave the way for good fortune to enter your life.

Stay Tuned For Part 2 !

Remember This is a General Analysis , Whole Chart is to be Analyzed for Accurate Personalized Predictions..

For Paid Personalized Analysis & Reviews ➤ Check Here

Masterlist ➤ Check Here

[seat-safety-switch]

Television loves to tell you all about giant robots. They're cool! They fight in the middle of cities! They're our only hope against alien invaders. Let me tell you that giant robots are not all they're cracked up to be.

First, there's the size. In your life, when has "making something bigger" resulted in a net positive outcome? Giant robots consume a remarkable amount of fuel, they're harder to park, and statistically you will step on about 1.22 people every time you take it out for a ride. Sure, that number is offset every time you save humanity from the Globthorians, but let's be honest with ourselves: you are not driving the giant robot exclusively to wage heroic interstellar war. Sometimes you're heading down to the liquor store and end up pressure-washing a pet salon off your 10-foot-wide boot before the rivets rust.

Beyond the practical concerns, it is a bad look for only the well-heeled depressed teenagers to be piloting these suckers. Children with emotionally distant fathers and a confusing puberty are found in all socioeconomic strata, but a recent study showed that only the super-rich and well-connected are ever "chosen" for their "merit" as potential robot pilots. Maybe someone with a little more empathy would do a better job. We have to raise the question here: are we promoting equal access to giant robots, or is this merely another stage for the rich to get richer?

Last, there are some economic concerns to speak about. Giant robots, owing again to their massive size, cost an absolute shitload of money to build. We can't afford that stuff these days, what with being at war with the Globthorians and all. I suggest instead that we spend the money we would waste on a single giant robot on several hundred regular-sized robots. While the military's own accountability office and the defence contractors' lobbyists will tell you that this just encourages more waste with overhead per robot, let's not forget who are the assholes who decided to build a giant robot and then try to find an alien civilization to provoke in order to "see how it works out." It worked out badly, folks!

[feminist-space]

"Long COVID has destroyed my life

I would love nothing more than to “finally ignore COVID,” as the headline to Dr. Ashish Jha’s July 31 op-ed reads (“With a few basic steps, most of us can finally ignore COVID”). As a healthy, vaccinated, and recently boosted 35-year-old, I did what he said: I ignored COVID-19 on a weekend trip with friends in September 2022. But the infection I got as a result has all but destroyed my life.

A week after my infection, I began to experience intense fatigue, overwhelming headaches, and cognitive challenges that continue to this day. These symptoms are debilitating: I can no longer work, socialize, or travel. My finances are dire. And if I am unable to avoid another infection, my condition may deteriorate even further.

Jha wrote of long COVID “treatments” being promising. Perhaps he could clarify what treatments he is referring to, because my doctors say that there are no approved treatments for long COVID.

A recent study funded by the NIH’s RECOVER initiative showed that 10 percent of adults infected with COVID still have symptoms six months later, even with vaccination. By downplaying the prevalence and debilitating outcomes of even moderate long COVID, Jha is signing thousands of people up to the misery and despair with which I live every day.

Ezra J. Spier

Oakland, Calif.

Another view from infectious disease doctors

As infectious disease doctors, we disagree with Dr. Jha’s contention that it is time to ignore COVID-19.

Yes, being vaccinated and taking Paxlovid thankfully decrease the risk of severe disease. But only 43 percent of people age 65 and over and only 17 percent of all Americans had received an updated COVID vaccination by May 2023, and access to Paxlovid treatment is inequitable by race and insurance status.

Long-term complications of COVID can be devastating, including after second infections.

More than half a million Americans have died since the summer of 2021, when sufficient vaccine doses were available: COVID death rates in the United States continue to be double those of Canada. Termination of free tests and “commercialization” of medications as implemented by the federal government will only widen our country’s grisly COVID-related health disparities.

Inevitably, ignoring COVID leads to ignoring the slow-motion epidemic of long COVID. Standing up against such neglect, leaders like Boston Mayor Michelle Wu and Governor Maura Healey can promote meaningful measures to protect our communities: air purification in all schools and public spaces; free COVID-preventive masks (KN95 or N95, not surgical masks); tests, vaccines, and Paxlovid for all who cannot afford to buy them; and concern for and support of long COVID victims.

Dr. Julia Koehler

Boston

Dr. Regina LaRocque

Wellesley

We remain vulnerable to long COVID

Ashish Jha’s position as former White House COVID-19 Response Coordinator is a conflict of interest masquerading as a qualification for his op-ed. Researchers who study long COVID stated in a recent paper in Nature Reviews Immunology that “the oncoming burden of long COVID faced by patients, health-care providers, governments and economies is so large as to be unfathomable.” Rapid tests, which are less accurate with recent strains while PCR tests are less available, and low death rates give a false sense of security.

I agree that despite progress, more buildings need the air filtration and ventilation that would make public life safer. But Jha omits our vulnerability to long COVID after even mild infections, its devastating effects, and higher death rates for hospital-acquired COVID-19, combined with a lack of collective protection in health care settings with unmasked, untested people who prefer to ignore COVID-19.

Aside from advocating vaccines, he describes an everyone-for-themselves approach, not mentioning responsibility to protect others or access to essentials.

Jha dines in a restaurant with his friends while patients even in leading cancer hospitals are forced into Russian roulette, thanks to this approach.

Kathryn Nichols

Cambridge

Vigilance is necessary to prevent long COVID

While I understand the desire to promote optimism amid the ongoing pandemic, I am deeply concerned about the potential consequences of downplaying the importance of COVID precautions and the significant risk of long COVID. As a person living with long COVID for the last 16 months despite being vaccinated and boosted, I have experienced post-exertional malaise, fatigue, headaches, joint and muscle pain, cognitive dysfunction, and more symptoms that have continued to today. I have tried numerous medicines, supplements, and even participated in a clinical trial, only to find limited relief from the persistent effects of this virus.

Such a stance overlooks the reality that millions more people could end up with long COVID if we fail to remain vigilant in our efforts to combat the virus. Long COVID is a devastating consequence of this virus, and we cannot rely solely on vaccinations to end the pandemic. Even with widespread vaccination, the risk of contracting long COVID remains high. A recent study funded by the NIH’s RECOVER initiative showed that 10 percent of adults infected with COVID still have symptoms six months later. Minimizing the significance of long COVID not only neglects the suffering of long-haulers but also risks undermining public health efforts to control the spread of the virus.

By raising awareness about the risk of long COVID, media outlets can play a pivotal role in educating the public and promoting continued vigilance. Responsible reporting on the enduring impact of long COVID can serve as a reminder that the pandemic is far from over and that we must remain committed to taking necessary precautions to protect ourselves and others. Highlighting the struggles of long COVID survivors and the lack of proven treatments can spur further research and medical advancements in addressing this condition. Empathy and support for those living with long COVID are essential in paving the way for better understanding, compassionate care, and better health outcomes for everyone as COVID rates increase again this summer.

Travis Hardy

Norwalk, Conn.

Link https://www.bostonglobe.com/2023/08/05/opinion/cant-ignore-long-covid-jha/

[k-s-morgan]

This is a belated post where I wanted to briefly address the outcomes of 2023!

While Ukraine mostly faded from the stage of world's news, unfortunately, the situation didn't get better for my people. Every day Russia kills, maims, and ruins everything it can touch. Every day civilians die from its imprecise missiles, random shootings and artillery, and outright executions. I often see that those living in other countries call this Putin's war, but it really isn't. This is the war sponsored by Putin and his regime, true, but first and foremost, this is the war of Russian people. It's hundreds of thousands of Russian people who arm themselves and go kill our defenders and our civilians. It's Russian people who fire from tanks and other deadly weapons to ruin the Ukrainians' homes, to scorch our land, to leave nothing but destruction instead of cities and villages. It's Russian people who build the missiles, load their bombers, and fly for 5+ hours to direct them at our cities, homes, factories, and even empty fields.

This is me during one of the latest massive attack that took place on January 2. At first, at night, 35+ Russian-Iranian drones bombed us. Then Russian people sent about 100 missiles at us, mainly at my city Kyiv.

Our air defense system managed to intercept the majority of them, but while it sounds like interception is an entirely positive thing, it might have terrible consequences. Because the parts of the missiles fall down randomly. They can kill any human or creature walking down the street; they can collapse on top of a residential building. There is no escape, no way to feel safe even with the best air defense systems surrounding the city. Here's one of many disastrous results of this attack.

Dead and injured people and animals. Damaged and lost apartments.

On December 29, another attack killed over 30 people in Kyiv alone. You can see their faces below. They deserve to be seen and remembered.

This is a short story of just two latest attacks that took place just within one week, just in one city. Imagine how many of them me and my people lived through during the entire year? How many more we will have to experience?

Actually, we lived through another one before I finished writing this post. It happened on January 8, and it killed even more civilians.

I know that there are good, sane, compassionate Russians. I have some relatives among them. One of them, my aunt, can't keep herself entirely silent: she's deeply religious, and a few weeks ago, in a church, she risked saying that killing Ukrainians is bad. Another man told her that she's scum and that if she dares to open her mouth again, he will report her to authorities. The headmaster of a school where my aunt teaches was imprisoned for 7 years for refusing to hold a Z-event among students. Living there must be a torture of another kind, where you are surrounded by zombies who openly promote terrorism and bless missiles sent to kill other human beings. The problem is that sane and compassionate Russians are the minority - the vast majority is happy to either kill us or they support those who kill us. Or they simply don't care, trying to claim that everything is complicated when in reality, there is nothing complicated about it at all. Russia is a terrorist state and the world allows its people and its government to keep being monsters.

Seeing the indifference and impotence of seemingly powerful countries makes me increasingly concerned and depressed. At this point, I don't think I'm simply affected by my experiences: the world is rapidly going to hell, with terrorist countries like Russia being allowed to revel in their blood-thirstiness and the other terrorist countries, like North Korea, or potential offenders like China, observing and taking notes. When a criminal sees that no one is punished for a crime, they escalate. More criminals appear. This is what I feel is going to start happening more and more, until half of the planet is plunged into death and destruction. I'll be so very glad to be wrong.

On a personal note, I lost my most beloved pet pigeon Daikiria in 2023. I love her and miss her so much that I still cry whenever I think of her. In turn, I acquired a red nightmare of a rabbit who eats everything, including my feet, and two more pigeons. Taking care of them brings me joy - I only hope that my effort will actually benefit them.

Here's a pigeon that I named Noveria the day I found her, in a video I made for my vet. Attacked by a cat, bleeding all over, with broken ribs and a missing piece of her wing, with no tail:

Here is she now. She is feeling much better, although unfortunately, she got sick because of her weakened immune system.

My kitties continue to be adorable dorks. Here's me sleeping with my cat Tom after one of the attacks - he's really scared of loud sounds, so he sleeps like a rock afterward, just like me.

My family stays strong, and I hope we will remain to be so.

Writing stories remains a huge source of relief and distraction to me, and your support, love, and care give me strength even when I feel like I'm about to run out of it.

Thank you to those who support me on Patreon and give me a chance to have a safety net shielding me from some of the horrors and insecurities - thanks to you, I can rest sometimes when I would have to work instead; I can afford some more distractions and to write more as a result. Thank you to those who leave comments, kudos, asks; thank you to my friends who never fail to message me with questions about my well-being. I love and I appreciate you tremendously, and despite all my fears and worries, I hope that we will get to see a better future still.

[brielledoesastrology]

asteroids of KARMA / JUSTICE in astrology 😈⚖️

By : Brielledoesastrology (tumblr)

.

Justitia (269) - Justitia, often known as Lady Justice, is a symbol of justice in roman mythology. Depicted with a blindfold, scales, and a sword, she represents impartiality, fairness, and the power of the law. The blindfold signifies objective judgment, the scales represent the weighing of evidence, and the sword symbolizes the enforcement of justice. This iconic figure is commonly associated with legal systems worldwide.

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Themis (24) - Themis is a Titaness associated with divine order, law, and custom. Often depicted holding scales and a sword, she represents justice and fairness. Themis is also considered an oracle, providing wise counsel. As a Titaness, she predates the Olympian gods and is a symbol of natural law and the proper order of things in the cosmos.

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Karma (3811) - Karma, from Hinduism and Buddhism, is the concept that your actions influence your future experiences. Positive actions lead to positive outcomes, while negative actions result in negative consequences. It's a fundamental principle of cause and effect, emphasizing personal responsibility and the idea that your deeds shape your destiny.

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Nemesis (128) - Nemesis is the goddess of retribution and vengeance. She ensures that individuals face consequences for their hubris or excessive pride. Nemesis is often depicted with a measuring rod or scales, symbolizing the idea that one's actions will be weighed and balanced. Her role is to maintain cosmic order by delivering justice to those who display arrogance or commit acts of injustice.

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Eunomia (15) - Eunomia is the goddess of good order and governance. She is one of the Horae, the daughters of Zeus and Themis. Eunomia is associated with maintaining social harmony and upholding law and order. Her name translates to "good order" or "good governance," highlighting her role in promoting a just and well-organized society.

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Irene (14) - Irene is one of the Horae, the goddesses of the seasons and natural cycles. Irene specifically represents peace and the concept of a "peaceful season." She is associated with the idea of harmony and tranquility, symbolizing the serene moments that come with a well-balanced and peaceful existence.

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Dike (99) - Dike is the goddess of justice. She is the daughter of Zeus and Themis, making her a sister to Eunomia (good order) and irene (peace). Dike is often depicted holding scales, representing the weighing of moral choices, and a sword, symbolizing the enforcement of justice. Her role emphasizes the importance of righteous judgment and maintaining a sense of fairness in human affairs.

.

Copy paste : 269,24,3811,128,15,14,99

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⚠️ Warning : i consider this asteroid as prominent and brings the most effect if it conjuncts ur personal planets (sun,moon,venus,mercury,mars) and if it conjuncts ur personal points (ac,dc,ic,mc), i use 0 - 2.5 orbs (for conjunctions). For sextile, trine, opposite and square aspects to asteroids i usually use 0 - 2 orbs. Yes tight conjunctions of planet / personal points to asteroids tends to give the most effect, but other aspects (sextile,trine,square,opposite, etc) still exist, even they produce effects. If it doesn't aspect any of your planets or personal points, check the house placement of the asteroid, maybe some stuff/topics relating to this asteroid could affect some topics/stuff relating to the house placement . ⚠️

[nenelonomh]

get addicted to real dopamine

TW: mention of self-harm

dopamine is a neurotransmitter that plays a significant role in our brain's reward system, associated with feelings of pleasure and satisfaction. it is released during enjoyable activities like eating, exercise, and social interactions, reinforcing behaviours that are essential for survival. however, the term "addiction" typically refers to compulsive engagement in rewarding stimuli despite adverse consequences.

some examples of these consequential behaviours include substance abuse, reckless driving, unsafe sex, self-harm, neglecting health, overeating, and poor financial decisions.

the best way to break free from such harmful behaviours is to replace your negative habits with positive ones. finding healthy alternatives that fulfil the same needs as harmful behaviour, and seeking professional help if needed

for further reading, click the links below. ray family therapy, breaking bad habits reimagine, understanding harmful habits: the psychology behind our actions

but that's not what this post is about. i just felt the need to touch on it, since it is a huge positive of being addicted to real dopamine.

to experience the positive effects of dopamine naturally, you can engage in activities that promote its healthy levels, such as:

regular exercise: physical activity is known to boost dopamine levels and improve mood. during exercise, especially when it's challenging yet achievable, the brain's reward centre, particularly the nucleus accumbens, releases dopamine. this release is part of the brain's reward system, which is being activated during pleasurable activities, reinforcing behaviours that are beneficial for survival and well-being.

the release of dopamine during exercise contributes to feelings of happiness and accomplishment (improved mood). it also contributes to enhanced memory, attention and problem-solving skills, stress reduction, and better motor performance.

balanced diet: dopamine is produced from amino acids, particularly tyrosine and phenylalanine, which are found in protein-rich foods. consuming a diet that includes adequate protein ensures that your body has the necessary building blocks to produce dopamine.

benefits of dopamine from a balanced diet include enhanced mood, improved cognitive function, increased motivation, and regulation of movement. dopamine is involved in the brain's reward system, which motivates us to repeat behaviours that are pleasurable or beneficial (increased motivation). it is important for motor control, so proper levels can help with coordination and movement.

adequate sleep: quality sleep is crucial for regulating neurotransmitter levels, including dopamine. it helps to maintain the sensitivity and function of dopamine receptors. sleep deprivation can lead to a decrease in dopamine D2 receptors, which are associated with arousal and reward.

dopamine is involved in regulating the circadian rhythm, our internal body clock that dictates when we feel awake and when we feel sleepy. adequate sleep helps keep this rhythm consistent, which in turn supports healthy dopamine levels.

adequate dopamine levels contribute to a state of alertness and wakefulness during the day. sufficient sleep can help regulate the stress response, which is partly mediated by dopamine.

mindfulness and meditation: these practices can increase dopamine levels and improve focus and concentration. additionally, they can enhance the efficiency of brain pathways that process sensory information, which may lead to increased dopamine release.

higher dopamine levels can lead to feelings of calmness and contentment, improving overall mood. regular mindfulness practice can help maintain a positive balance of neurotransmitters, including dopamine, which can reduce stress. by increasing dopamine, meditation can help regulate emotions, leading to better mental health outcomes.

learning new skills: the process of learning can increase dopamine production, as it's associated with reward and motivation. this reward system encourages the continuation of learning and skill development.

new experiences, such as learning new skills, can reset key brain circuits, enhancing the ability to learn and adapt to new situations. activating dopamine receipts through learning can lead to improved cognitive flexibility and the ability to switch between tasks or thoughts more easily.

also, releasing dopamine due to learning new skills contributes to a positive mood, making learning an enjoyable way to regulate emotions.

in summary, these operations can stimulate healthy dopamine release, which has so many positive benefits. it's a natural and rewarding way to promote personal growth and mental health.

for further reading on the topic of healthy dopamine release, see the links below: medical news today, how does dopamine affect the body? healthline, how does dopamine affect the body? very well health, what is dopamine? cdc, about adverse childhood experiences healthline, 10 best ways to increase dopamine levels naturally bbc, learn something new to boost your brain psychology today, dopamine's role in learning and memory

i hope today's post was helpful. ❤️ nene

(photo credit: pinterest)

[religion-is-a-mental-illness]

By: SEGM

Published: Aug 13, 2023

Near-zero regret” findings among adults suffer from a critical risk of bias and have low applicability to youth

Recent research published in JAMA Surgery evaluated satisfaction and regret among individuals who had undergone chest masculinizing mastectomy at the University of Michigan hospital. The average patient age at the time of mastectomy was 27 years; no patients who were under age 18 were allowed to participate in the study.

The participants reported high levels of satisfaction and low levels of regret at an average of 3.6 years following mastectomy. The study authors lauded the “overwhelmingly low levels of regret following gender-affirming surgery,” and framed their findings as in conflict with the “increasing legislative interest in regulating gender-affirming surgery,” referring to current legislative attempts to restrict or ban “gender-affirming” procedures for minors. Another group of authors provided an invited commentary on the paper, reinforcing the view held by the study authors, and asserting the presence of a “double standard:” “gender-affirming” mastectomies have come under undue scrutiny by states’ legislators, while other surgical procedures with higher regret rates do not appear to concern legislative bodies.

The study suffers from serious methodological limitations, which render the findings of high levels of long-term satisfaction with mastectomy among adults at a "critical risk of bias"—the lowest rating according to the Risk of Bias (ROBINS-I) analysis. ROBINS-I is used to assess non-randomized studies for methodological bias. The "critical risk of bias" rating signals that the results reported by the study may substantially deviate from the truth. The results also suffer from low applicability to the central issue the study and the invited commentary sought to address, which was whether legislative attempts to regulate “gender-affirming” surgeries are warranted in minors. Unfortunately, these highly questionable findings are misrepresented as certain and highly positive by both the study authors and the invited commentators, several of whom have significant conflicts of interest.

Below, we provide a detailed explanation of the key methodological issues in the study which render its claims untrustworthy and not applicable to the patient population at the center of the debate: youth undergoing gender reassignment. We also comment on the alarming trend: several prestigious scientific journals appear to have deviated from their previously high standards for scholarly work and instead have become vehicles for promoting poor-quality research, seemingly to influence judicial policy decisions rather than advance scientific understanding. We conclude with recommendations about how journal editors can restore the integrity of scientific debate and raise the bar on the quality of published studies in the field of gender medicine.

[ For in-depth analysis, see: https://segm.org/long-term-regret-satisfaction-mastectomy-critical-appraisal ]

SEGM Take-Aways

Although this study reports extremely high rates of satisfaction and low regret, the timeframe in which these outcomes were assessed is insufficient—just 3.6 years post-mastectomy on average. The sample is also highly skewed: 50% of the participants had mastectomies in the last 3.6 of the 30 years. This skewing of the length of time since surgery is expected, given the sharp rise in the number of people (especially adolescents and young adults) identifying as transgender and undergoing chest masculinization mastectomy. It is also a short time in which to assess regret, particularly since one quarter of study participants were younger than age 23 at time of surgery and the median age of first birth in the US is 30 years.

The conclusion of high satisfaction/low regret suffers from a critical risk of bias due to the high non-participation rate, important differences between participants and non-participants, and lack of control group. Problematically, the authors misuse the (critically-biased) results from adults to argue against regulations for irreversible body alternations for minors and do so with a decidedly politicized spin.

The only intellectually honest commentary is that we do not have good knowledge of the likely rates of detransition and regret following chest masculinization mastectomy, nor do we know how many people experience regret but remain transitioned. There is an urgent need for quality research in this area. Previously, detransition and regret rates were considered to be low: they may have indeed been low due to the much more rigorous screenings, or the results may have been biased by the notoriously high dropout rates that plague “regret” research. Regardless, there is now growing evidence of much higher rates of medical detransition.

A recent study from a comprehensive U.S. dataset with no loss to follow-up revealed a 36% medical detransition rate among females within just 4 years of starting hormonal transition. At least two recent studies suggest that average time to regret among recently-transitioned females is about 3-5 years, but there is a wide range. Much less is known about detransition among those who undergo surgery. A growing number of detransitioners now express regret associated with the loss of breastfeeding ability, with one case study detailing breastfeeding grief experienced some 15 years post-mastectomy.

The study and invited commentary exemplify three problematic trends that plague studies emerging from the gender clinics: problematic conflicts of interest of the authors; leveraging scientific journals to disguise politically-motivated pieces as quality research; and a conflicted stance by the gender medicine establishment on surgery for minors. We expand on each briefly below.

Conflicts of interest of study authors and commentators 

The significant conflicts of interest of the gender clinicians who study and report on the outcomes of “gender-affirming” interventions cannot be overlooked. These clinicians are conflicted financially, since their practices specialize in “gender-affirming” interventions, as well as intellectually. While conflicts of interest among experts are common, such experts should still attempt to be balanced in their discussions and should acknowledge and reflect on their conflicts of interest.

The interpretations of the data in the study is neither rigorous nor balanced, and both the study and the invited commentary have a decidedly political spin. Further, the invited politicized commentary does not disclose that at least one of the authors is a key expert witness opposing states’ efforts to regulate “gender-affirming” surgeries for minors. This role alone precludes the ability to provide a balanced commentary.

There is a fundamental problem with research emerging from gender clinic settings. The same clinicians provide gender-transitioning treatments to individual patients in their practice; serve as primary investigators and custodians of data used in research informing population health policies; and increasingly, provide paid expert witness testimony in courts defending the unrestricted availability of hormonal and surgical interventions for minors.

As a result, such clinicians cannot express nuanced perspectives. Since any balanced statements may be used against them in a court of law when they serve as expert witnesses, they must resort to the lowest common denominator of the "winner-takes-all" adversarial approach. Such an approach does not tolerate nuance. Unfortunately, this approach contributes to the erosion of the quality of the published work in the arena of gender medicine and accelerates loss of trust about the integrity of the scientific process.

Misuse of scientific publications to promote politically-motivated articles disguised as scientific research

That prestigious medical journals now serve as platforms for promoting misleading, politically motivated research that aims to apply a veneer of misplaced confidence in  highly invasive, irreversible treatment should worry everyone committed to evidence-based medicine and the integrity of science. Moreover, it impairs our ability to accurately assess and improve the long-term health outcomes of the rapidly growing numbers of gender-diverse and gender-distressed youths.

This is not the first time that a JAMA has been used as a platform for positioning advocacy for “gender-affirming” care as scientific research. In 2022, JAMA Pediatrics published a study that assessed bodily happiness in a group of subjects aged 14-24 three months after chest masculinization mastectomy. Despite the very short follow up and dropout rate of 13%, the authors argued that their findings supported the premise that there was no evidence to suggest that young age should delay surgery. They also asserted that their research would help dispel the misconception that such surgeries are experimental. The editorial commissioned to bolster the authors claims was descriptively titled, “Top surgery in adolescents and young adults-effective and medically necessary.”

Another troubling trend is the misuse of statistical tools to reframe research findings that contradict the author's own position. For example, a well-known study that claimed that access to puberty blockers reduce the risk of suicide disregarded the fact that individuals reporting use of puberty blockers use had twice as many recent serious suicide attempts as their peers who did not use puberty blockers. Like the finding cited above, the doubling of suicide attempts was not statistically significant due to a small underpowered sample—but the magnitude of the effect was striking and should have tempered the authors’ enthusiastic conclusion that puberty blockers prevent suicides. Another recent gender clinic study, widely and positively covered by major media outlets, claimed that puberty blockers and cross-sex hormones led to plummeting rate of depression—even though the rate of depression among youth taking those medications remained demonstrably unchanged. More information about problems with research originating from gender clinics is detailed in this recent analysis.

Gender medicine’s stance on pediatric surgery

More generally, the gender medicine establishment is in a curious state of internal conflict about its stance on “gender-affirming” surgeries for minors.  On the one hand, it has become common for advocates of “gender-affirmation” of minors to insist that surgeries for minors are not performed and anyone who suggests otherwise is spreading “scientific misinformation” and “science denialism.”  On the other hand, gender clinicians publish mastectomy outcomes for minors in major medical journals, and laud surgeries for minors as “effective and medically necessary.” It is not uncommon for these opposing claims to be made by the same group of researchers and clinicians, as they test various arguments, searching for the "angle" that is most likely to convince judges and juries--and public at large--that scrutiny of the practice of pediatric transitions, which is increasingly occurring in European countries, is not warranted in the United States.

Notably, none of the European countries that are enacting severe restrictions on the use of puberty blockers or cross-sex hormones for minors have ever allowed surgeries for youth under 18. That the U.S. gender affirmation professionals continue to fight regulation of these problematic procedures speaks volumes about how far the U.S. healthcare has drifted when it comes to "gender affirmation" of minors.

Final thoughts

While it is challenging to determine how best to reduce the temperature of the highly politicized nature of the debate in gender medicine, the editors of scientific journals can begin to restore balance by recognizing how far the field has drifted from the standards of quality scientific research, and begin to expand their circle of peer-reviewers to those with diverse views. Inviting those concerned with the state of gender medicine (and not just the practices’ advocates) into the peer-review and commentary process is the first essential step to improve the quality of research published in the field of gender medicine.

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==

The activists are predictably - and consistent with the superficiality of their own ideology - upset that anyone should look below the surface. It seems to be more troubling that anyone would notice the shoddiness of the research, than that the research is shoddy.

If this is supposed to be "healthcare," you would think that they would want the best healthcare, and be more alarmed at the misrepresentations of the study, than by people finding those misrepresentations.

Could it be that this is ideological rather than medical? 🤔

The conflicts of interest and funding sources alone are remarkable.

[glow-wine]

I have been thinking about this and ... I don't know? Is Brandon Sanderson ... stupid? I saw him explain on Reddit that he he needs to talk in detail about all his problems with the TV show, because his name is attached to it, so it reflects on him. I mean, seriously, he said this on Reddit, surrounded by comments shitting on the showrunner ... It's been two years, and I think it is fairly obvious that show haters/critics have singled out Rafe Judkins as the villain responsible for everything they dislike about the show. He gets blamed for everything, even the fucking pandemic itself. And Sanderson's role in this narrative is the wronged hero, the defender of True Fandom, sadly defeated by the evil gay manhating villain, who hates the books and the fans and maliciously ignores all of Sanderson's advice because he hates him personally because he is evil! (Rafe being gay is definitely one of the things that make him such a convenient target, and I have seen a ton of homophobia, including quite nasty stuff.) It's hard to believe that Sanderson has not picked up on this at all, that he doesn't know how negative comments from him would be perceived. It's been going on for two years ... It is baffling, irresponsible, and the timing is strange because the second season has been so well received: the finale has a 9.2 rating on IMDb, there are positive articles being written, people like it. Oh no, his name is attached to something people enjoy!?

If he cannot handle his name being on a product he does not 100% control, then he should not be involved in TV production at all, because no one has total control over the outcome. I feel sorry for the writers, who haven't been able to promote the show because of the strike, and are now probably too busy catching up with work on the third season ... And here's a producer spreading negativity and admitting he has not even bothered to watch Season 2! I am sorry but if any retail worker behaved this way, they'd probably get fired. It's unprofessional, not to mention disrespectful. Yes, there is a German word for this: Kollegenschwein.

(Disclaimer: I have not watched the livestream itself. Life is too short! But it's the Reddit comment that I'm complaining about. That I have read. He actually says a lot of reasonable things, but I cannot get over the "my name is on it waaah" part. So self-centered.)

[itselriel]

A hint of Jasmine

Throughout Acotar, the Jasmine flower is mentioned a couple of times. First, in relation to Elain and second, in relation to the Night Court. Today I’m going to be breaking down some facts and a little bit of history about this beautiful flower that blooms at night and how it is both attached to Elain and the Night Court.

Here is a quote from the ACOTAR series that shows Elain smells like Jasmine: “Elain was in the private library. Nesta knew it before she’d cleared the stairs, covered in dust from the library. Her sisters delicate sent of Jasmine and Honey lingered in the red-stoned hall.”

Here is a quote from the ACOTAR series that shows the Night Court / Verlaris smells like Jasmine: “I smelled Jasmine first—then saw stars flickering beyond glowing pillars of moonstone that framed the sweeping view of endless snowcapped mountains. ‘Welcome to the Night Court,’ was all Rhys said.”

Here are two quotes that show the Night Court has Jasmine flowers:

“Nesta ran a finger over her ivory and obsidion place setting, examining the silverware and vines of night-bloomimg Jasmine engraved around the hilts.”

and

“Great scaled black beasts were carved into those gates, all coiled together in a nest of claws and fangs, sleeping and fighting, some locked in an endless cycle of devouring each other. Between them flowed vines of Jasmine and moon flowers.”

What is Jasmine? Jasmine is a rich and flourishing plant and is one of the most beautiful and fragrant flowers in the world.

What does the Jasmine flower represent? Jasmine flowers symbolize love, beauty and sensuality. It’s pure white blossoms also represent purity.

In the ACOTAR series it is said by the Archeron sisters mother that Elain “shall wed for love and beauty.”

What is the language of the Jasmine flower? In the language of flowers, the Jasmine flower is saying “I care deeply” or “I am with you in spirit.”

What is the Biblical meaning of the Jasmine name? The meaning of Jasmine is “Gift from God.”

Reminder: Azriel and Elain’s name meanings in Hebrew both have to do with God and are both connected to each other, like a puzzle piece. Azriel’s name meaning in Hebrew is “God is my help.” Elain’s name meaning in Hebrew is “God has answered me.”

What does Jasmine symbolize in Buddhism? Jasmine holds great importance in Buddhism. It symbolizes compassion, empathy and showing kindness to all living beings of the world.

A quote from Feyre about Elain in ACOWAR: “Elain had always been gentle and sweet—and I had considered it a different sort of strength. A better strength. To look at the hardness of the world and choose, over and over, to love, to be kind.”

Jasmine in Greek Mythology: In Greek Mythology, Jasmine is associated with Aphrodite, the goddess of beauty and love.

What is the emotion of Jasmine flowers? The scent of Jasmine has the abilty to relax and uplift. It is a floral, musky, sweet and sensual scent all at once.

When do Jasmine flowers bloom? Jasmine flowers bloom at night to attract nocturnal pollinators such as moths and bats. Night blooming Jasmine is also known as Lady of the night.

What does it mean to smell Jasmine at night? Smelling Jasmine at night could be a sign that the spirit of a loved one is checking in on you or wants to communicate.

What do the colors of Jasmine represent? White is for innocence. Pink is for new love. Yellow is for joy.

Diving Deeper: In some traditions, Jasmine is believed to attract positive energy, promote happiness and offer protection against negative influences. The Jasmine flower could also symbolize hope, good fortune and positive outcomes. The delicate blossoms of the flower are seen as happiness and prosperity.

[discluded]

MileApo and the rise of Thai soft power

Mile and Apo talking about the Thai period film at the Vogue Thailand Gala on 2022/9/21

I've been meaning to sit down and write about this for a while now, ever since I saw the pattern of Mile and Apo injecting it into their talking points about the 2023 historical film, but it's taken some an effort to actually lay it out. Hopefully the time I sat with it will make the it a more insightful, rich reading experience.

Disclaimers:

(1) I have no formal experience in international relations aside from reading and watching the news, but my strong point is research. Folks with a more formal backgrounds in policsci or IR are welcome to add their input!

(2) Comments about policies or political actions of nations, whether positive, neutral or negative, are not meant to reflect on private individuals of the nationality, even those with a notable amount of social-cultural capital. Private individuals, despite their positions of social influence, most often have little to no individual influence on a policy level**.

So without further ado:

What is soft power? (aka soft power for dummies)

Joseph Nye, a then-Harvard professor, coined the term soft power in the 1980s/early 90s. He described it as:

“A country’s ability to influence the preferences and behaviors of various actors in the international arena (states, corporations, communities, publics etc.) through attraction or persuasion rather than coercion.”

In his book Bound to Lead, Nye established that three prongs of a country's soft power were its culture, its political values, and its policies. Here are two different graphics that further break down what those look like when evaluating soft power in practice.

If you feel like all the above is still vague to the point of unparsable in an applied context, I spent the majority of the time researching how to demystify the term especially in the way MileApo discuss it, and found this great explainer:

A strong nation brand and positive soft power perceptions allow a nation to promote itself as a place for people to visit, invest in, and build a reputation for their quality of goods and services. [...] it is often overlooked that a strong nation brand and soft power can deliver better outcomes at home. Primarily it encourages domestic tourism, the consumption of domestic goods and services (rather than imports). Less tangibly it also just makes people feel better about their country.

Expressed in this context, soft power can be understood as the act of building trust in the cultural products of a nation domestically -- some more abstract in the form of art (music, film) and culture, some more concrete like products including fashion and beauty -- in a manner to appeal to its own citizens while also broadening the appeal of cultural goods abroad in a which can drive international tourism, trade, and commerce.

In other words: yes, our collective desire to actually taste Farmhouse bread.

The Thai government and the push for soft power

While my interest in this topic was originally piqued by MileApo's comments, soft power policy has to originate at the government level. Note again that Nye's definition of soft power is centered around "a country’s ability to influence", therefore soft power policy must always formally be expressed nationally.

Around the time MileApo consistently began promoting soft power in alignment with the period film, I noticed a slew of references in Bangkok Post, one of the reputable English online publications based in Thailand.

Back tracking through some of the articles as a reflection of national conversation, since 2020, there has been a consistent theme in terms of what the government is attempting and how well it's going (or not going):

On Thailand's soft power and positioning in the world, Feb 2020:

According to Kitti Prasirtsuk of Thammasat University, who has carried out extensive research into Thailand's branding and repositioning in the age of interconnectedness and social media, Thailand and its culture, values and foreign policy have charisma and high persuasive power which can attract admiration and cooperation. But the Thai people and bureaucrats must change their mindset and perceptions and appreciate their country in real terms first before they take up new challenges.

Within Asean, Thailand is behind Singapore as No.1 [among SE Asian soft power rankings]. The report stated that Thailand has the potential to rise into the top 30 in the world, if the country can strike the right political balance between the rural poor and urban elite. It went on to say that Thailand's weaknesses are problems related to corruption and inequality. It also said that the Thai government is failing to showcase the full potential of Thailand's rich cultural offerings beyond tourism. One more weak link is its poor performance in public diplomacy and digital infrastructure.

(Mile, Apo, and Bible all attended Thammasat University, which is considered one of the premiere universities in Thailand. Apo later transferred and graduated from a different university.)

On Milli, a Thai rapper who performed at Coachella in Spring 2022:

The presence of the 19-year-old rapper Milli at the Coachella Music Festival in the United States has reinvigorated Thailand's soft power ambitions -- an area the Thai government has not fully explored nor exploited. Milli, whose real name is Danupha Khanatheerakul, is the first solo Thai artist to perform at Coachella, a music festival that draws tens of thousands of fans annually.

[Milli's prescence at Coachella] was able to advance Thailand's soft power [in ways previously stalled]. It is not that the government is clueless about "soft power". For decades, governments have focused on presenting Thailand's soft power to the world. However, that iteration of "soft power" mainly consisted of Thai customs and traditions such as food, costume, classical dance, Buddhism rituals and the wai. These aspects of our cultural heritage, despite being charming to foreign tourists, are not sufficient to catapult Thailand's into a stronger position in the global market. Thai cultural heritage has failed to catch up in the digital age…

Milli's song also includes ideas relevant to international audiences. One of her songs openly discusses sexual consent. Being relevant is one of the keys to increasing the nation's presence among diverse populations. The cultural impact made by a young girl like Milli should make the government rethink its cultural promotion strategy. More support is needed for progressive Thai artists and innovators.

An opinion rebuttable on Milli's performance and the government's blundering of reaching for soft power while not meeting basic domestic requirements:

One of the minister's advisers belted out a long speech that did not seem to address how Thailand will become a "soft power" but used the term multiple times. One can't help but wonder if the ministry knows what it is doing, or what the so-called "soft power" it is espousing is about.

Milli's self-taunting line "I don't ride an elephant" may sound a bit old but her rapping about how "the country is good, people are good, our food is good but the government is bood," seems to have struck a chord. "Bood" means rotten in Thai. It is thus understandable if the government was not too coherent when discussing anything about the phenomenon that Milli created. Indeed, [Thailand's Prime Minister] Gen Prayut should feel awkward discussing the "soft power" of Milli and mango sticky rice when he filed a defamation charge against the teen rapper himself back in June last year.

Talented as Milli is, and extraordinary her achievements both locally and at one of the world's most famous music festivals have been, the teenage rapper really has nothing to do with so-called "soft power" which government figures are talking about. Her success is largely individual. Milli created a sensation and a craze. For Thailand's "soft power" to be built, let alone recognised globally, it takes more than one successful artist…

The whole product must be good if it is to exert influence. As experts argued, it takes a wide range of qualities for a country to say it has "soft power". These include the quality of its political institutions, education, digital development, innovation, cultural appeal, strength in arts or business brands. That is why it is odd for everyone to talk about Thailand's "soft power" now when we don't seem to have ticked any of the basic requirements.

On Bangkok International Fashion Week (BIFW):

BIFW2022 has been [a] major and continuing mission to promote and drive Thai fashion to international levels. The event strategically aligns with the government’s strategy to empower Thai fashion industry as fashion is one of the most influential soft power that stimulate economic growth.

Note that multiple actors in BOC walked BIFW2022 in September, as well as multiple actors from other Thai BL shows that aired in 2022.

On the increasing popularity of Thai BL:

Thai BL is now popular across Southeast and East Asia[, and] has been gaining traction in Japan, the home of BL, since 2020. Posters of famous khu jin were put up in a train station. Magazines that cover Thai drama, including BL, are rolled out for the Japanese audience. The Tourism Authority of Thailand has launched a Twitter account that uses BL to engage Japanese consumers. They are conducting research on these issues in the context of soft power.

Yes you read that correctly. No joke, BL as a facet of Thai soft power is so prevalent now that the government is literally tracking its popularity and Twitter conversation around the topic.

So what does this all mean?

Thailand is a country within Asia and internationally that has a lot of appeal as a tourism destination. However, with many competitor alternatives in both entertainment (particularly film and music) and beauty/fashion, which are major drivers soft power within Asia and internationally, and domestic dissidence of policy and politicians due to social conditions, Thai cultural power is not as prominent as it could be and also suffers at the international level.

While there is appeal of specific Thai cultural products internationally (such as Milli at Coachella or in the case of Kinnporsche the Series) the government has failed to activate these prominent media products as part of a cohesive soft power strategy.

However, the government does seem aware of the potential, specifically in the realm of BL. Thailand has always maintained an image of being LGBTQ-friendly among all the Asian countries, and may now be looking to push LGBTQ-aligned media (BL and GL dramas) specifically as part of its soft power strategy to increase pop culture and media appeal.

MileApo on Soft Power

Part of the reason my ears perked up at MileApo's consistent talking point of soft power is again, because even without a polisci background, I'm aware that soft power is expressed at the country policy level. Thus when both of them started specifically using the term to discuss the film in pre-production phase, it got my brain gears turning.

Mile talking about the film on 2022/9/24 at the D7 Grand Opening (vid/txt)

"Nong Po will act with Hia Mile -- please look forward to this movie next year, please look forward to that a lot. We want to expand Thai culture and soft power..." Apo on the Thai period movie at the KPWT Send off on 2022/9/11

Mile Phakphum's speech on Mother's Day in Kalasin, 2022/8/5

Here's what we do know. Apo's dance training for the film is with a teacher affiliated with the academy that also produces dancers who specifically entertain the royal court.

And here is what they individually said in the Vogue Thailand print interview (completed in late August 2022, published October 2022)

And I would be remiss and dishonest to not point out that Mile's family is prominent in Thailand and his mother is part of the Queen's inner circle. Keep in mind that Thailand is a constitutional monarchy where the monarch has limited powers in practice (think: Japan or UK), and Thailand has a history of cyclical political instability that does not displace the monarchy. So believe him when he says he has limited power compared to Kinn. He travels on a private citizen's passport like all the rest of the cast. (Though my eyes start watering when I'm thinking about baby chaebol CEO Mile and destiny.*)

That being said, what these connections likely did get the production team was access to cultural resources such as the dance expert and most likely credentialed historians to consult on the period film. I would surprised if there aren't ministers' offices who are in the loop about film's production in a way they would not pay to other film or show production teams. I'm sure we will find out more about the interesting and important people involved in the production process around the time the film is released.

Another aspect that stood out to me is the fact that Mile and Apo, neither of whom have policy backgrounds, started iterating the discussion point of soft power in a way you don't see Milli, or Mew Suppassit (who let's not forget was also a RSIFF invitee and the first Thai artist to break into the Billboard World Song Chart), talk about it. Mew actually has talked about soft power a couple of times, but only in the context that he is part of a cultural wave that can increase Thailand's influence globally and never specifically in relation to a project he is promoting. That speaks a lot to the team behind the scenes involved in the writing and consulting (and marketing) process of the 2023 historical film.

The timeline of when these comments popped up is also interesting. While they do coincide with the release of the trailer post KPWT Bangkok, most likely what's happening during this time period is that BOC and more specifically Mile is shopping for sponsors to the project.

Think about Mile speaking about Thailand soft power to an audience of mostly older businesspeople at the mother's day event -- what would the purpose be except an ask for partnership on a project that he is on, which can become a vehicle for Thai products both domestically and globally? Look at the timing of the announcement of the Srichand partnership (end of August), and how successfully that broken the brand into the lucrative Chinese market, moving millions of THB worth of product for a brand that had struggled to get any traction previously. While Srichand's focus is currently on China, working with a Thai beauty brand for a film where the trailer highlighted many historical makeup elements is an actually ideal brand partnership and project alignment.

(Sadly for us, I don't think the film will be the second longest bread commercial in existence. But based on the Farmhouse CEO's comments, I would be unsurprised if they signed on to support the film project too. Ancient Thai bread I guess *jazz hands*)

In Conclusion

MileApo's soft power talking point was an intentional move specifically to shop the film project around for sponsors. The Srichand partnership proved MA-as-a-brand's ability to move product in a lucrative, hard-to-crack foreign market, though Srichand (and Giffarine) as brands aren't necessarily able to stand in the market independently as of yet. Their past brand partnerships' success simultaneously showed how lucrative it is to book MA for a product domestically. I'm sure we'll see a slew of new interesting sponsors and brand partnerships this year. This is only the beginning of MA's power as a cultural brand domestically and internationally.

Mile and Apo have also expressed their pride in the past in being cultural ambassadors of Thailand, both at the RSIFF and when speaking about engaging tourists who are visiting Thailand. Their praise of Thai products (for example, the artistry of Thai silk in the Vogue Th Gala interview) and their active choice to work with mostly Thai brands speaks to their values as businessmen who genuinely want to uplift Thailand's influence in the global market.

That being said, the Thai cultural ministry cannot rely on a single cultural emissary to advance its soft power agenda globally, and as of right now, despite ...some attempts, a cohesive government strategy around soft power does not exist.

MileApo have demostrated their brand has strong impact, and that they can influence purchase behavior internationally (e.g., KPWT ticket sales, Srichand) in ways many Thai media figures have not been able to as of yet. But they are not formally tied to the Thai government, nor should the government intervene and attempt to direct artistic expression.

Culture is one aspect of soft power, and political/humanitarian expression is another major component that advances an international soft power agenda. There are already articles discussing Thailand's problems of political corruption and self/journalistic censorship due to political conditions that prevent full freedom of expression. But that's the government's problem to address that. There is a lot of unharvested potential in multiple realms.

This essay is not about that though. I'm just a fan.

Can it be December 2023 yet 🥺

Additional notes that don't fit into the essay under the cut:

(1) There was a lot of fandom hand-wringing in August and September about Apo publicly having working dinners with Pond over the film project. Let's not forget Mile is someone who cares deeply about the art he makes, and he and Apo both have said multiple times they talk almost nightly about their artistic intent. If Mile talks to Apo and Apo was talking to Pond, why would Mile, a person who cares deeply about art, not be talking to Pond in pre-production? Obviously the answer is a division of labor in the relationship: Mile was working on funding which is just as important, and Mile also needs to sleep and rest and not work. There wouldn't be anyone else he would trust to convey his artistic intent to the director except for Apo. True power couple behavior right there.

(2) * everyday I go feral over baby chaebol CEO Mile. If someone made a kdrama about a handsome chaebol baby who was a CEO but also an actor and model who met his soulmate in university but it was a missed connection and then the soulmate went on to become a famous actor/model who quit because of bullying, but then they met again when the baby chaebol WHO IS STILL A CEO BUT ALSO AN ACTOR met at an audition for a drama... *foams at mouth* I would call this show bizarre, nonsensical and incoherent, and yet HERE WE ARE IN REAL LIFE. The jetsetting supermodel with wealthy CEO part of reality which is now bending around MileApo so they can live their wattpad fanfic life. What the hell am I looking at, I ask myself every day.

(3) ** this statement does not include billionaires like Elon Musk or Jeff Bezos whose net worth exceeds those of small and mid-sized countries. Per today's estimate, ~50 people/families have more wealth than 90 of 190 countries. If your net worth can run the economy of half the countries in the world, then your wealth/resources hoarding behavior can control what the media says and influence otherwise free and fair elections.

Once again, Some of you need some contextualization of how comfortably wealthy vs. billionaire resource-hoarding rich looks like.