PAC (Gif) Tarot Reading :
🔮 Your Connection With Your Specific Person 🔮
This reading includes what you both currently are in your connection, your challenges, & your unifying force.
Take a moment to ask yourself & sense which gif calls out to you. If more than one does, there are multiple messages for you. If one calls out to you instantly/significantly more, then this message is specifically meant for you & will resonate the most.
Piles are 1-4 & are in order.
💖 I offer a more detailed & accurate version of this Connection spread for $20. The rest of my services are pinned & start at $5. You get a FREE one question reading & reiki session when you follow & reblog my pinned post 👇. 💖
Pile One :
My abilities have been getting stronger & as a consequence, this message is a bit longer than my usual pick-a-card readings. If long formats aren't your thing, feel free to skim or take a look at my other PACs!
There's been something or someone trying to get in-between you two to disrupt your union. This attempt hasn't truly been successful. This 3rd party is in the picture but not in a union with your SP. You & your SP are truly in a union energy. You truly know eachother, are connected, & share a bond.
This 3rd party may have been a sex addiction, porn addiction, or some kind of fling. I'm not really getting cheating/betrayal vibes. The energy is more fitting of a situation where you've been dating someone & they haven't been forthcoming that they're dating/hooking up with others. If this is the case, it doesn't have anything to do with a lack of interest in you - it stems from insecurity and consequently an urge to have a back up plan.
This union may be triggering other unhealthy traits/traumas because of how scared they are of the amount of interest they have in you. They haven't been the type of person to put their all into someone for fear of getting hurt. But now that they've met you, for the 1st time or the 1st time in a while, they actually want to overcome these challenges for you & them. This is why they've been acting up/their behavior has changed.
For a significant amount of you, your SP literally has commitment issues. This has become apparent due to you either waiting to get engaged or them getting cold feet after your engagement.
There may be back & forth, hot & cold, in & out energy. Alot of you have an on & off again relationship with them. They have an avoidant attachment type.
I'm seeing someone who's had a difficult life & isn't well off financially as a consequence. I'm seeing someone with a low quality car being frustrated because they don't have enough gas money.
Criticism of self & others are a main theme with them. Try not to take it personally as best you can. They only do this because they don't have much hope for their life/relationships. They have a tendency to keep people at arm's length in general. It's for self-protection as they've had several experiences that have told them it's abundantly necessary.
With that being said, just because you shouldn't take it personally doesn't mean you should just deal with it. Your challenge is to love yourself first & set boundaries.
I feel like you're afraid that if you do that, that will only motivate them to distance themselves further. That may or may not be the case. That wouldn't be your fault. At all. Dont allow others to blame you for their own shortcomings.
There's still hope for this connection because, as I said, they're actually motivated to better themself for you. Despite them being a little embarrassed & not too forthcoming about how passionate & excited they are about you. You're not like anyone they've met before.
Weird note: I saw the letter "P" in this reading as a synchronicity a handful of times. Maybe you or them have a name that starts with P? Maybe their "PP" is a main theme in your connection? 😂
You've been seeking knowledge about this connection. Someone/something (article, youtube vids, this very reading, etc.) has been mentoring you. I'm seeing that someone(s) doesn't approve of your SP & are urging you to dump their ass for good.
I can't say I blame them too much because for some of you they don't treat you very well. They aren't as they appear to be & these people don't know them like you do. You're a little lost & in the dark about this situation. It's recommended you start thinking for yourself.
You have some learning & growth to do, especially in the mental, logic, & communication realm.
You both have 7 of Swords in your Unifying Force so I'm seeing that because of their lack of transparency with their feelings & what they're going through (even outright lying for some), you've been motivated to do the same. You've been looking at tarot readings hoping to find the answer instead of going to the direct source.
I'm seeing that you should find a balance with this. Check in with your own intuition to see if they're telling the truth & only *consider* others' opinions. Open your heart & feelings to them to potentially inspire them to do the same. Make an attempt to end the cycle. Initiate a heart-to-heart conversation.
You both want to take this relationship to the next level & are motivated to overcome these challenges in order to do so. The question is how much are you both willing to sacrifice & do you have enough knowledge/experience in order to have a healthy relationship. You may have to have more individual experiences first. You may not reunite at all, which is ok. What's meant to be is. And everything is for your highest interest, regardless of if you're currently aware of that or not.
For most of you, you've been given the "Very Soon" card so as long as you get your mind clear, it's very likely to inspire them to do the same. There's a high possibility of a reunion coming soon.
Pile Two :
There's no current equal give & take in this connection. Your focus is too outside yourself & their focus is too inside themself.
They've disconnected from you while you're still trying to force the connection, whether energetically or through action. For alot of you I'm seeing the type of energy where you're double texting despite them not responding the first time. You may actually be doing this, have sent a flurry of uninvited texts, & have sent angry ones.
Life goes on & it has to change one way or the other. I'm seeing there's a *major* change in this connection. Like, you're starting a whole new life with them. It won't be *smooth* sailing, as your SP has some turbulence to deal with, but you will indeed be making this huge transition. I'm actually seeing air travel so perhaps you'll be going on a vacation/road trip to several locations or moving far away.
You're holding on too tightly to this connection, for fear that it'll slip away if you don't. Focus on other areas of your life & know that you're abundant regardless. Make a conscious effort to take note of all the things you do have & be grateful for it. Accept what you can't change & change what you can. You'll be feeling alot lighter, grounded, calm, stable, & satisfied when you do.
When you focus more on yourself & find what brings you joy, this more aligned state of being attracts more of your desires in your highest interest.
Your SP desires the childlike playfulness & passion you've shared. They're currently struggling with inaction because they're overcompensating for the times they've not set boundaries with others.
They're currently mistaking self-love for over-protection & needless isolation. Be patient with this process as they're still learning. Respect their boundaries. Pushing them & trying to force things only makes their wall higher & stronger.
It reinforces their belief & you're giving them every right to. So, honestly, most of them aren't mistaking self-love for over-protection at all. You've had within you the ability to establish a respectful, equal give & take relationship more so than their past encounters. But by trying to force them out of their shell, you've forced their hand in not only maintaining their boundaries but enforcing them & making them more firm as well.
They need you to be calm & patient. Once you've given them the space they need, you've become more established in life & independent, & they've gained stability & clarity over this situation, they'll be coming towards you faster than you expected.
Trust in this process & allow yourself & them to heal. Specifically, both of your childhood traumas, past events, & inner children. Allow your inner child to come out & play. Life isn't as scary as it can seem.
Pile Three :
Your SP is some type of buisness partner. Whether that be a co-founder, boss, coworker, etc. For alot of you, they held a higher position of power than you in some sense. You may have just met at work. They may have just been too bossy & controlling. Refarding sexual dynamics, they were dominant.
Although they appeared to be more adult-like than you, you're being reminded that we all started as innocent children & still carry that innocence inside of us.
Your criticisms of this person were born from your ego's programming to defend itself. You got hurt & as a consequence your perception of them shifted in a way that motivated you to avoid/be wary of them. This is a false reality. Yes, you discovered flaws they have. But that doesn't change who they are at their core. They're still that person that attracted you to them.
You're being encouraged to view people almost as if they were children. We're all unconditionally loved children of the Universe - learning, growing, & experiencing. Learn from the mistakes that have happened & work to grow from them with your SP.
I'm also seeing codependency. Perhaps you lived with them rent-free/relied on them for resources & as your source of happiness & love. You're being encouraged to be more independent materially & regarding your relationship dynamics.
We all carry an inner child but we also have to grow along side it. Take care of yourself. We're the ones we're alone with at the end of the day. Make your inner experience enjoyable so you can enjoy your own company. Keep this balanced & allow support along this healing process.
You're currently too thought-based & in your head. Open your heart, let your emotions flow, & let your inner child out to have fun!
For some of you, your SP is from your past in this current lifetime. For most of you, your SP is in a karmic cycle with you. You've lived more lifetimes than this one with them. You're tied together in order to resolve this conflict.
They're waiting for you while you're living in the past & being resistant to change & the flow of life. Your advice is to move forward with what you've learned & to leave the burdens & pain behind.
Both of you wish for clarity, communication, & new ways of communicating. I feel that they were the one who hurt you. The clarity you're after is where this behavior came from, whether or not they can be trusted, & if this connection is salvageable. You both desire to work on your relationship & you're mostly the one wondering if that's even possible.
The clarity they're after is when, how, & whether or not to approach you. They know they hurt you & messed things up. They don't want to hurt & anger you further by reaching out when you're the one who ended things for good reason. But they very much want to express their feelings & desire to move on with you.
Another struggle they have is not really understanding where their & your behavior came from & why. They're internalizing it instead of taking a step back & looking at things objectively. I see that they're taking your exit as a personal rejection rather than what it was ; you protecting & respecting yourself.
They're also interpreting their behavior inaccurately. They don't truly feel that they're a bad person but it's like they feel that's the only conclusion they can come to regarding their behavior.
I feel that this very reaction is what they needed to work on. This situation happened to bring your traumas to light. To be forced to be face-to-face with them & work through them. Your SP is rejection sensitive, insecure, & takes things personally.
If you want to work through this relationship, you may have to be the one who makes the first move. Take your time & only do so if/when you feel called to.
Pile Four
What I'm noticing right away is weariness & questioning if the work you've put in this connection will produce the results you're after. If this connection were a seed, the soil you're planting it in is fertile. Gather your strength & perserverance to cross the finish line you're almost at. Take note of what you've accomplished so far.
You've gone through a spiritual awakening that has caused you to change your direction in this connection. I feel that your SP is manifesting you at a more physical/practical sense & you're manifesting them more with energy & spiritual practices.
Although you're both experiencing this strong desire to be with eachother, your SP isn't as in tune with their intuition. They have conflicting thoughts in their mind & aren't sure where to go from here. They may also have too much divided attention & aren't putting in the appropriate amount of time & effort. They seem to be taking on most of the doubt & weariness in this connection.
You're both experiencing challenges with codependency but especially you. It may have already been hard enforcing your boundaries & focusing on yourself, but with this activation in your awareness, it's made it more difficult to do this. You've been experiencing their energy & the energy of this connection - even if they're at a physical distance.
With this increased accuracy in your awareness has come increased optimism. The downside of your newfound sensitivity is, again, focusing on yourself & other areas of your life. You're being advised to bring your energy into your body & ground it. Look up methods of grounding. I'm seeing that a particularly beneficial one for you is basking in nature & physically familiarizing yourself with the ground - in whatever ways that come to mind.
I'm seeing that for some of you, you haven't even met this person yet. You're manifesting a soulmate in general. There's limitless potential with this. You're not receiving the results as soon as you've hoped for but there's just one more step you have to take before their arrival. One of those steps is letting go of the results & timing. Work on yourself & self-love in the meantime.
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For Trans Awareness Week: My experience/timeline of my gender & sexuality
(from straight cis girl, bisexual cis girl, pansexual trans man, to pansexual nonbinary transmasculine)
In middle school, when I was 11/12. I realized I was bisexual during this time and still thought I was a cis girl. Who just happened to be ok with the thought of getting a sex change if their crush turned out to be gay 🤷♂️
I realized I was bisexual (I had romantic experiences with girls before) when I thought a girl's eyes were pretty & developed somewhat of a crush. I printed out the bisexual flag and accidentally left a copy. My mom found it & questioned me. I casually told her that I was bisexual and was confused by her resistance and doubt to the idea. What was wrong with liking girls? I didn't see anything wrong with it.
She laid out alot of the cliches. "How do you know you like girls, are you sure?" ("I know I like them just like how I know I like guys", I told her 🙄) "It was just that Tila Tequila show that made you think that." "You're too young to know that."
When I was 14, I realized I was a trans guy! I came to the conclusion that girls didn't "want to be guys". Wanting to be a "guy" in my eyes meant being recognized by society as one, my interpersonal dynamics regarding me as one, & physically wanting a typical amab body (flat chest, deep voice, penis, etc.) I was in my early 20s in this picture.
I still liked feminine fashion and makeup. I figured I was like Jeffree Star in that aspect. But at that time I couldn't wear clothes that weren't masculine because I'd get mistaken for being a girl. Society and those around me trying to box me into this limiting expression and characterization of myself felt alienating, isolating, & lonely.
My dysphoria mostly came from other's perceptions of me - rather than what I would've thought about myself if society didn't put a gender label on every fucking thing. I would've still longed for the body parts I wanted but I don't think the depression and discomfort would've been half as bad.
Consequently, my body made me uncomfortable. I had the parts that people told me I had because I was a woman. There was a direct association.
The term "pansexual" started becoming more well-known and I vibed with the interpretation of "you're attracted to people regardless of gender/your attraction to people doesn't feel different based on gender" so I slapped that label on to me.
This is me at 28, just last year! I started giving fuck all (similar to the expression of my middle finger) to others' perceptions of me. If I like holographic clothes and fishnets with rhinestones, and you don't like that, well then I'm sorry I have better fashion sense than you 🤷♂️💅
I took testosterone for about 5 years at this point so the contrast of masculine & feminine features were like a bow on top of the gift that is me 😎
At this point, instead of just wanting the bumps in my tshirts to be gone regardless of any asthetic consequences (nipples not looking good due to the particular surgeon, etc.), I'd actually want to switch between having a flat chest and having boobies whenever I wanted to. Boobies are fun on me & others, what can I say.
& here's one of my most recent selfies! A couple years ago I came to the conclusion that above all else, I just feel like a person. If I had a gender I'd be a guy so I do still somewhat vibe with the sentiment. But I'm so much more than that. The label that currently fits me best is "gender non-conforming/ non-binary transmasculine". Regardless of whatever label someone may use, I welcome their attraction to me & validate it. If you're a lesbian and you happen to like my features while acknowledging that I'm not a woman & treating me as such, then your feelings are valid & don't invalidate my own identity.
My journey hasn't been easy for several reasons - not just due to my sexuality and gender. My mother & step dad didn't believe me when I came out as trans. Before I came out, and wanted to do things like get a shorter haircut, my mom would say things like "I won't have a dyke for a daughter." And then proceed to say "you know I didn't mean it like that."
One of the more overt instances of transphobia was when her bf randomly shouted "you're a girl!" to me.
A more covert form was when my mom & grandma would "compromise" on my name change. My birth name started with a "K" so I changed it to a more masc version also starting with a "K". They weren't used to my new name and my mom expressed feelings of resentment because she was the one who named me. So the "compromise" was just calling me "K"....a feminine ass sounding name. I asked them to stop and even stopped responding to the name. I eventually changed my name to "Colton" just so they didn't have an excuse to call me K anymore.
There were other instances of abuse and mental health emergencies that I won't go into detail about. I was recently asked what my proudest accomplishment was and I told them that it was not only making it this far but also being able to support myself. I've experienced homelessness so that adds on to what I've overcome.
But now, I'm at a place I couldn't fathom. Things aren't perfect but I have the tools, the want, the belief, and the will to make things better every day. I believe my life story is meant to serve as an example of hope. I've been destroyed & broke down to my atoms so I was forced to rebuild myself stronger and more in alignment with my true self. I have this wisdom to offer and I welcome requests for spiritual guidance.
The High Priestexx Tarot + Reiki Services is a buisness I've founded. It's success & ability to change people's lives for the better is also something I'm profoundly proud of. When you follow my blog & reblog my pinned post, you get a free one question tarot reading & free reiki healing session!
One way of celebrating Trans Awareness Week is by celebrating yourself with this free service & by celebrating me & my journey by increasing my visibility!
So that was my specific experience with my gender & sexuality! I hope that can broaden your mind as to what individual experiences can look like & help you feel less alone. Sending everyone much peace, love, & support! ✌️💖
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