#SORRY TO RAMBLE

[aquiescentmoon]

I was born in spring, where flowers, bees and every crow you see has a twig in their beak, you didn't even realise for these 10 years, you didn't look up at the sky and look for the brightest sun but chasing the shadows at your footsteps. Last year, when you got me a scrapbook of flowers you saw on the sidewalk, you said, 'I just realised you were born in spring'. I left you, ten days after that birthday. No closure, No last fight, just plain breakup text of 'This is over' you begged me to take your call, you wanted me to hear you out once, saying all over again, 'This was my fault, I can fix this, don't leave me, I say spiky words like my dad, it's not my fault that I got his genes and I behave like him, I can't change that but believe me, this will be the last time, if you gonna leave me what about, what we built for 10yrs, it's something no one can do, what we have ourselves is us, you said, you will love forever yet you abandon me now, where will I find someone like you. You aren't giving me the opportunity to grieve over at the wake of our relationship'. A wake? Where were you, when our relationship was bleeding dry with a million paper cuts? After a few days, you sent me the last message, 'If that's your conclusion, I'm okay with it, I'm always here for you to come back and I love you no matter what my feelings towards you never change, I'm sorry if that I've hurt you, you've shown me what love is and I'm always greatful for you my whole life, Still remember that I would blindly do anything you say, you are my first love, take care'. Textbook goodbye with lots of emojis, You can love me better when I want to leave? Even after all this, finally when I am about to move on from you, your dad comes to talk to my dad on your birthday, urging to reconcile us both, my dad didn't have a f*cking clue what your dad was talking about, he doesn't. I don't talk to my dad. I don't tell my heartbreaks, as he was the one who gave me the first hand experience. Your Dad, maybe, you were crying or he wanted to be the best dad - who wants to give you his child, the best birthday present, 'to get your best friend back'. But I had the worst panic attack in my whole life, when my dad told me about this. I kept thinking, 'maybe what I did was wrong or I shouldn't have left someone whom I know for 10yrs or you said to take care in your last text, but this wasn't it or why my heart yearns you, when my nervous system hates you or you seemed fine, last time, I checked your insta, enjoying the best of life, also you easily forgot things, memories, ppl, even me, this is all new or am I a sinner now?' But as a best friend, I still want to share this advice with you, if you want to forget me (I know, you already did but still for my own guilt) playing Tetris really helped me to move from this self-loathing loop. Now, I am guilt free, no matter who throws your name out casually, I can handle myself without crying. I ran multiple scenarios in my head about what to do, if I met you accidentally on a busy street or at the mall or at Trader's joes, no matter, how many times, I got the same outcome, I would just faint from a panic attack. Isn't it odd? when I was the one who left you, but you are doing fine, I would crash out. Till now, we never met anywhere despite living in the same neighborhood, I hope that someday, when I am healed from all my papercuts, I will say (our inside joke), 'Thank you for the heartbreak, I needed for my art'

[pinkcowprintsocool]

OK was it my favorite episode of the season no (and I do think it's a bit silly to just completely pause Eddie's big arc for an ep) but the best part of 20 episode Seasons are the filler episodes!! Not every single moment has to be big, I think it's when the best characterization is done. Maybe it's hard for people watching it as it comes out maybe it'll hit different a year from now when we binge watch because hottake buck and Eddie fell in love in the filler moments!!! The small things that just show characters being together and having fun, filler episodes are truly underrated and honestly this episode made me really pumped for when they do get together because they are best friends!!! They will be silly!!! They are gonna get to have stupid one off moments that mean nothing that actually mean everything thank you.

[ferrarisbabygirl]

i just read edition zero of senninha - the children's comic created by ayrton in 1994 - and it got me so emotional so here's a bit of info about the comic:

the edition number zero was around half the number of the pages of the editions that would follow and it served to introduce the characters and story to children around Brazil, having been distributed for free in schools at the time.

it follows senninha from his birth to when he moves to a new neighborhood and becomes friends with a group of kids who love to race but are currently being defeated by braço duro.

it's a bit hard to translate the names of many characters in these early senninha comics because they are little puns or expressions related to driving. the literal translation of braço duro would be "hard arms", but in the context can be understood as a guy with stiff driving, not very smooth in the drivers seat, etc.

braço duro and his friends care more about winning than anything and constantly sabotage senninha's new friends, making them need a driver who can take the great car they have and amplify it with their natural talent.

at the end of the number zero edition of the comic, senninha is set to compete against braço duro for the first time when it suddenly starts to rain, and the story ends abruptly to leave readers curious and be picked up in the next edition.

the small nod to senna being so skilled in the rain was so sweet, and it made me smile much more than it probably should! it really got me thinking about how much i wish senna had gotten the opportunity to see this idea of his grow into what it has become and help make it even bigger.

in four years, senninha will be the same age as senna when he died. In five, he will be older than senna ever got to be. but i bet he's out there somewhere a bit proud every time a kid opens a senninha magazine and learns to respect their opponents or picks up a senninha pit stop toy and becomes a bit more skilled in putting their tiny car back together.

tldr: from time to time i remember i love senninha and get emotional thinking about him, senna, and the good times back when i was a kid and my grandma took me to drive a little car in circles at her favorite mall.

[exyrpf]

Ya know. I'm getting real tired off this shit.

I never started my own conversion while we were still married. I was pretty much the opposite of a non practicing religious person - I was practicing, for the sake of my family, but I never reached out to a rabbi to sponsor me.

But now, literal YEARS after we divorced, I recognized a part of myself felt like it was...missing.

It wasn't until I started practicing and educating myself so I knew enough to start the education of a then 6 year old child, that I truly realized what it was. So I found a rabbi to sponsor me.

Do you think converting is easy? Do you think you wake up one day and say "hmm, I'm going to take a dip in the mikvah today" and that's all it takes?

It is a process that takes years. I'd never do that for anyone but myself, let alone my ex.

I hope you can find some compassion in your heart as well, as it seems you don't have much for converts.

[misc-obeyme]

I'm back with some more biblical lore >:'D

I've been thinking lately and noticed how similar Mc is to a Nephilim. In case you didn't know; Nephilim are the spawn from a union between a Human and an Angel. If lilith somehow kept her Angel DNA after being reincarnated as a human and MC being their distant descendant, chances are Mc is more Nephilim than human.

Another thing i would like to point out is; How powerful Mc is! The game even mentions that Mc is probably more powerful than Solomon (Twice mind you). In Lesson 62-19, Lucifer states that there are probably only a few demons who could pose a threat to MC due to how powerful they have become. And if i remember correctly in Lesson 76-19, Simeon stole the ring of light from the Celestial Realm without permission for Mc cuz they couldn't control their power. Now where am i getting with this? You see, a Nephilim is considered one of the most powerful entities in the universe due to being able to become stronger than its angelic parents. Nephilim are greater in power because not only do they possess the power of the Angelic parentage but a Human soul to enhance it, creating a supremely powerful being. Nephilim were also stated to have been quite destructive with their powers especially if they couldn't control said powers.

MC could be so powerful it could pose a threat everyone. Basically, Mc is capable to be more powerful than any demon or angel. Maybe this could be why the Celestial Realm (or Michael for that matter) kepts a close eye on Mc on all times.

Actually, i have more thoughts to do this but i don't want to spam you full with text. Until next time ✌🏻

-Angsty Anon.

Ah yes, nephilim, I am indeed familiar with this concept! I can't remember where I first heard about it. I'm pretty sure I knew about them before Supernatural had one in the later seasons... but I can't remember where I first heard it.

Anyway, I think a lot of this depends on how the ancestry works in the OM world. They don't tell us this information, of course, so it's hard to say. But Lilith is one of MC's distant ancestors, so her angel DNA by normal human standards would be extremely diluted at this point. Not gone entirely, but certainly not the same amount that MC would have if they had had one full angelic parent.

Which isn't to say that they aren't still a powerful nephilim. Since this is all made up, it just depends on whatever worldbuilding the game decides to go with. (If they bring this up at all, which they might not.) I mean in that they could say in order to be considered a nephilim, one has to have a fully angelic parent. But they could also say, it doesn't matter. The angelic DNA could be so strong and powerful enough that it manifests in MC just as strongly as it would if MC had a fully angelic parent. If they did go with that, though, I think there'd need to be some kind of special exception for MC specifically. Because otherwise every human in MC's lineage would also have had that same amount of power, possibly more.

I think it'd be interesting if MC's reason was honestly just... they came to the Devildom! That power was always latent in them (and iirc this is kinda how they describe it in the game too), but it isn't brought out until they start making pacts and befriending angels and so forth.

They definitely already have destructive levels of power. MC needed the Ring of Light in order to contain that power because it was fucking with the worlds without MC even doing anything. That's why it was like a matter of desperation that they sever their pacts and blah blah.

I think MC is currently a threat to the stability of the worlds, but because they have the Ring of Light, that keeps their power stable instead of going haywire all the time.

Anyway, MC is OP and whether that's due to just their life circumstances or because of their angel DNA, the game hasn't specified. Which means you get to make up whatever you want, which is always fun!

I was also under the impression that nephilim are often so dangerous that regular angels won't even suffer them to live. Like if they find out about it, they're gonna hunt that nephilim down because nobody that powerful should exist. Most stories seem to go this route with it. But here we got Michael bein like... I gotta watch this one, but I'm not gonna kill 'em. LOL. And I think that's an interesting aspect. They don't really interfere much at all, even when MC was an active threat.

In fact, they straight up punished Simeon for doing the one thing that would save the worlds from MC's power without anyone having to die.

I'm still mad about it.

Anyway, I will tag this as spoilers just in case, I know not everybody is caught up on all the seasons in OG.

But I like this concept! It's certainly interesting to think about and to consider all the different things that could go into it!

[mayabrazton]

Being alone to start the new year, no friends or family in sight, when I’m at such a low point is a sick reflection of how how my year has been and what the next year will be. I always try to be optimistic and look for the best in life but it has become a chore to do so, it’s exhausting. With all that, I am grateful for the few I do have and the love and patience they have given. I hope next year I am fortunate enough to still have that. Wishing everyone love, success, happiness and good health for the new year.

[radioroxx]

Do you think since loop has experienced the same day over and over and over and overx100 again they struggle with the idea of their birthday? like, it feels like any other day, there is no longer any feeling of "this is my day", its just a "day"? (random idea I had)

I THINK. i think i think i think. it would still feel weird but,, maybe for ? the opposite reason?

they spent so so so long repeating the same day and doing the same things and saying the same stuff and then suddenly, they get caught up in a different timeloop. they get to have new dialogues with siffrin ofc, but otherwise they are just… hanging out at the tree now. which also becomes repetitive of course.

then, assuming a… hypothetical post-canon where the loops are broken, and loop gets to live, they would eventually reach their birthday. and they would remember that of course- i think most people agree about that. BUT. being out of the loops, experiencing the world. whether it be with the party, or on their own, or with completely new people, who knows. point is everyday out of the loops is already different, therefore is already special.

that is to say. i dont think theyd have much room to, care for their birthday. unless (as if seen many birthday posts of it) siffrin were to remind them/celebrate for them….. yknow yknow

then again i have my doubts even siffrin knows their own birthday. my moneys on my hc that sept 1 is just the first day he could think of to tell the others, maybe after somebody had asked and they all went around in a circle sharing their birth dates. being a lone traveller for so long probably makes it hard to remember stuff like that,, plus. yknow. the . island stuff. forgetting . you get the idea

[d1rtypuppy]

yesterday was my 5 months on t!!! omfg. crazy that it’s already been that long, honestly.

man. hrt is literally one of the best things to happen to me ever. tonight i watched the video of my voice after my first t-shot and holy shit!!! my voice is SOO much deeper in comparison. i was like oh my god that was ME?

anyway here’s a lot of the changes i’ve noticed. this is probably going to be SOOOOOO long and DEFINITELY so much information about me so be warned.

recently my body hair has also been really growing in and it makes me SOO euphoric. i am shedding a bit more hair from my head now, which is fine, i have THIIICK hair so it’s honestly helping. my beard area is starting to grow in more hair, and my mustache is getting a bit thicker but is still very much teenage boy mustache… however i am too attached to shave and i Hate the feeling of it as it grows back in.

my chest has deflated a bit. i can actually look at it and touch it. i can even go a while without wearing transtape, which before hrt i could NOT do. chest dysphoria has always been a huge problem for me, so this has been a HUUUGE weight off my shoulders.

my back acne was REALLY bad for a while but i have gotten it mostly under control with the help of exfoliation and castile soap. my chest has a bit of acne, and i have gotten a few pimples on my leg ?? and even one on my TOE. which i had no clue was even possible. my face is usually not super super bad luckily.

and i am LOVIINNGG all of it. truly. the only thing is that. guys. i am like a dog in HEAT. holy fuck, for a little bit there, i was getting off like SEVEN times a day, and no. i am not even exaggerating…. i can’t even sleep through the fucking night without waking up once, sometimes TWICE, to jerk off. i’m going a little insane. but that’s okay, i’ve discovered i actually CAN make noise while touching myself. before t i was extremely quiet and i just kind of accepted that’s just the way it was, so i was genuinely so surprised to find that i can make noise now!!! i didn’t know this could happen but i assume it’s just dysphoria/comfort related. my t-dick is also one of my favorite changes and i love it. that’s my little guy.

anyways, i feel way less dysphoric and overall very happy. i’m starting to learn to love myself and like what i see in the mirror. so thanks, gender affirming healthcare :3

ALRIGHT WELL. sorry for the insane rambling. this is probably incomprehensible, i’m just too excited. so, if you made it to the end of this post, i offer you a kiss or a hug or a high five if you choose to accept (air versions of all of these available !) :-)

[aquiescentmoon]

You ask me why I am obsessed with sea otters??

First, Otters hold hands while they sleep to prevent drifting apart in the ocean while floating on their backs is cute and smart. Also they are the only mammals that can use a tool to break open its food like freaking humans. But what I like the most is the fact that in contrast to most other marine mammals, they also drink seawater. The adaptability and their need to prevent the loss of too much salt from their blood. If we are drowning in the ocean, we drown, not in a billion years, our body will be able to drink f*cking seawater, where life originated from!

[undertheorangetree]

lil update under the cut

okay so I feel absolutely TERRIBLE about this but I’m most likely not going to be writing the 12 days of smuff anymore. I’m so so sorry to anyone who was excited, I severely underestimated how badly finals would take it out of me and I’m just so burnt out and exhausted that I don’t think I can keep to a fic per day schedule even if I write it in advance.

Most likely I won’t be posting any fics until the new year unless I get a huge burst of Aemond centric motivation. To be completely honest, I was using writing fic to supplement me through a writer’s block I was having while writing my novel and now that I have motivation to write that, my focus will probably be going there instead. I’ve just had a huge burst of inspiration and I’m really excited about it. This isn’t to say I won’t write fic anymore, I just doubt it’ll be as frequent.

This is all just speculation based on how I’m feeling now and is subject to change obviously, I just wanted to let everyone know. Sorry again if I’m disappointing people but hopefully I’m back on the fic writing train soon💕

[turtle-ier]

Dead people keep donating their craft projects to the shop I work in and it's making me sad.

Well, not dead people. The living relatives of the dead people.

The amount of half finished crafts which are given to us is upsetting, in all honesty. It's good that we don't recieve the finished cardigans someone has knitted or the crochetted hats, or the quilts or the hand-made dolls, because it makes me think that the people who are going through their parent's/parent's sibling's/sibling's/friend's stuff are keeping the completed bits. I do still look at the sleeves, pompoms, mis-matched patchworks and wish that the person had time to complete them.

Two huge boxes of quilting supplies were donated recently, by two different people on two different days. There was a half-finished English Paper Piecing quilt among it, all in pieces no larger than 30x30cm. They all looked like scraps of other, more cohesive quilts. There were blocks made to look like animals, there were blocks which looked like they were for a baby blanket. There was a cotton bag which had nothing in, but probably had someone's money in at some point. There were loads of cloth face masks, all unused but pressed neatly and in little plastic bags with 'handmade with love' stickers on them.

I don't see any reason why someone would donate their half finished project to my charity shop unless they didn't have a say in what happened to it. I think they would like it if someone else finished their project.

We can't sell them. We're not supposed to sell face masks, even if they're new. We can't sell 20 scrap pieces of fabric. We can't sell someone's half finished quilt, not really, unless there is someone else who is willing to buy all the pieces.

I make quilts sometimes, though. I keep thinking about how cool it would be to make and own a dead person's quilt.

[adhd-riddled-crow]

i love the new pfp dude!

Aww thx! 😁🫶✨️

I try to make them based on my avatar (also called Sam. Cause he's me in a way), but some picrews don't have everything I need, or they don't look right with my hair or something else. Usually, it's the horns. So I made one based on what I wish I looked like irl!

Here's a better look:

[kumatora]

honestly pride online gets more and more discouraging every year like. whether or not the people starting it are doing it to make bait posts or are whole heartedly believing it, theres always really egregious discourse that pops up and really upsetting infighting and even with things like merch it's getting really discouraging Especially as a lesbian bc i still see people make merch sets and very much exclude the lesbian pride flag despite it being mainstream and despite the creator of it still financially struggling or i see people blaze their posts on here with trans pride merch and it feels so sour to give this site money to sell merch when they go out of their way to silence trans women on here. it just all sucks and i wish i didnt dread using websites like here more and more each year but here we are.

like. nothing about what i see online with pride says anything about community to me. this does not feel like a community.

[calla-posting]

hey so like. the pikmin are sentient we can agree on that right. like these are little plant people. this absolute death planet has sapient intelligent life. and PLANT BASED sapient life at that. what do you bet that within your lifetime pikmin are gonna be like. an intergalactically recognized sapient civilization like everyone else

That's exactly what makes them so interesting, I'm so glad you asked!

I think... the only thing holding them back, really, in terms of development... is that they're always looking for someone to play follow-the-leader with. If they were autonomous, they could probably do just about anything they felt like... honestly, it's a bit scary how well they adapt, and reproduce... it makes me a little sad that if they got off-world, they'd probably be considered an invasive species...

They're exciting to watch... and not just the pikmin! There are other creatures here too... bulborbs have some basic organisation skills, and mamuta have technically started to figure out agriculture...

... evolution is a slow process though, so I'm not sure if they'll develop to a more starfolk-ish level in my lifetime. But still, so interesting!

[ancientgrain]

Coming to terms with my long-overdue ADHD diagnosis as an adult has been so amazing, because I can retroactively forgive myself for failing at things that I previously had no “excuse” for failing at (like brushing my teeth regularly, procrastinating fun/relaxing activities, having a hard time focusing for long periods of time). This means that with self-forgiveness, I can move on and actually work on being able to do those things. Progress!

[neckromantics]

Heya. So this is probably gonna sound a little odd, but seeing you post again? Genuinely made me happy. Your work from the FFXV days was always a highlight to read (absolutely whack to think its been years since I started following)

Hope you've been keeping well lovely.

!!!!! This is so sweet and not odd at all! Thank you for your kind words. It makes me happy knowing that there are still some lovelies out there from my ffxv rambling days. It's insane to me that I've had this blog for.... six years now? Holy moly.

Anyways, thank you so so much for popping in. This genuinely made my whole week. I hope you're doing well, too! It's really nice hearing from you. <3