#Sims Crackfic

[nikkeisimmer]

Narrator: But we do have to give them a campfire so that they can cook whatever they catch. And they are going to have to go hunting, or designate someone as the main hunter.

Meg: I’ll go tend the garden.

Phil: And I’ll go pet the fish…

Keeter: Good for you, Phil.

Narrator: so...Meg would harvest the apple tree and the lettuce plant and hopefully the deer wouldn’t go after the lettuce plant while they were asleep because if they lose that lettuce plant, life is really going to suck for them.

The rest of them would go and fish for their dinner. It’s now 12:08 PM in Hidden Springs and Meg will make her way to the bookstore to get 7 copies of the handiness skill book as well as the same number of the inventing skill book. Mainly because they all have to get those skills up before they can do anything regarding putting up any form of shelter.

Meg: Y’know, it would be a lot easier for me to just take a taxi.

Narrator: Look at it this way, you’re saving money.

Meg: With §17,500,000...we have to save MONEY?

Narrator: And you see, when everyone is forced to walk or run, you get to meet people that way. See how many people are getting out and getting some exercise?

Meg: You’re a sadist.

Narrator: You say that like it’s a bad thing. Now Meg ran back and had to fish for her dinner that night so she didn’t waste any time. Keeter now has two anchovy and two sea sludges and a red herring. He’s also got a opportunity to sell three fish for money. If he sells the anchovy and the red herring, he’s gonna really have fun because last I knew, sea sludges aren’t edible. Even if they were, they eat from garbage left on the bottom of the sea bed.

Keeter: Ugh...really?

Narrator: Yeah, really. You mean you weren’t paying attention in Gr. 10 Biology class?

Keeter: No, not really...you see there were a lot of hot babes in high-school.

Meg (fishing): OMG...this is absolutely boring.

Narrator: It’s 3:29 in the afternoon, I would have thought you’d caught something by now.

Meg (sarcastically): ...other than an extremely fatal case of boredom?

Harm (trying to be helpful): I’ll share my fish with you, Meg. I’ve got plenty.

Meg: You don’t have to, Harm.

Mac (sarcastically): Yeah, I’m sure that’s not the ONLY thing you want to share with her.

Narrator (pulls up a chair and eats popcorn): Oooh, this is going to get interesting.

[mrpuzzlessimp420]

Mario Simulator (Joke Fic)

Chapter 1

Ships: Marware, BatteryAcid (Mr Puzzles x Orange Juice), SMG34 (minor)

Mushroom Akademi was your normal pseudo-japanese highschool and Mario was a normal student.

He had... awful as shit grades because he didn't concentrate in class (god I wish I was that carefree ) and had a decent enough reputation, expect for that one incident where he was caught... you don't want to know what he was caught doing.

Anyway, Mario was normal.

He awoke to his loud two trucks alarm and started to get ready for the day. Putting on his highschool girl uniform that definitely did not look like the sailor scout uniform, not brushing his teeth and grabbing a plate of spaghetti to eat.

He quickly checked his phone to see that it was... 8 a'clock??? He was going to be late and get told of by SMG4 because of it!

Spaghetti plate still in hand, he rushed out the door, trying his best not to trip and be a clutz like he always is.

He eventually arrived at the school, only 2 minutes late and ran to his class, before realising he had no clue where he was going and had to check his timetable, which he also realised he lost like 5 months ago.

After 10 minutes of searching for his class, he finally found it and sat down in his seat, absolutely exhausted, spaghetti plate still in hand.

"Mario? You're late again? This is the 20th time this week! You know what I don't care, just don't be a nuisance like yesterday." Karen stated, not giving a crap about Mario because she is a girlboss, a legend and the moment.

The lesson went surprisingly quickly as the entire time Mario was finishing of his spaghetti or talking to SMG4 about memes or some cringey shit like that.

When the lesson and 2nd period was over, it was finally break.

Mario ran to say hello to his friends before a figure caught his eye.

The figure was a tall, handsome TV head giving out audition leaflets for a school play, rather dramatically you could say... and pathetically as he was literally on his hands and knees begging one student to join, a crying baby face replacing his normal emotes on his TV head.

Mario's heart skipped a beat. Oh how he had fallen for this TV head for the past couple of months. Yeah he tried to mind-control his friends to force them to preform in a everlasting play but that was ages ago. Honestly, Mario was down bad for him, his patheticness, his passion for the arts, his dramatic nature. I mean he was even good to look at, I mean look at those cables and wires (bro 😭) .

"Mario? MARIO!"

Mario finally snapped out of his god damn solioquy and lovestruck pinning just to be faced with a very annoyed SMG4.

"Where you even listening to anything I said?" SMG4 asked, pissed that Mario hadn't been listening for the 100th time this week.

"Uhhhh..." Mario said before saying the most, disgusting, revolting thing you ever have seen that had to be censored for the sake of EVERYONE'S sanity.

"What? No??? I was explaining the entire FNAF lore." SMG4 explained like the cringe pathetic loser he is.

"I honestly still don't get it." Meggy stated

"I do." SMG3 stated, with lovestruck eyes that told everyone in the room that he did not understand anything SMG4 just said and just liked to hear SMG4's voice

"Ha ha Gayyyyyy!" Mario shouted before being punched in the face by SMG3

"Shut Up! You like Mr Puzzles!!!" SMG3 declared, deflecting Mario's accusation back onto Mario.

"That's because he's-" Mario was once again censored by the Great Fanfic Writer in the sky who didn't want to write out the disgusting thing Mario just said about Mr Puzzles

"We.. didn't need to know that but anyway what was I on about again?" SMG4 asked, forgetting his entire lore dump he just did a few minutes before hand.

"You were on about the lore of FNAF?" SMG3 stated, looking back at SMG4 with eyes that were screaming with 'I love you so much, I want to hear your voice all the time, we are friends, we are literally soulmates made for each other, I would literally die and kill for you.'

"Oh yeah!" SMG4 was a oblivious idiot and didn't notice SMG3's obvious pinning "Anyway Foxy Bro killed his own brother or some shit and got really depressed ig, couldn't be me"

SMG4 went on to ramble about FNAF again but Mario got bored immediately. Why would anyone care about a Purple Guy and some dead children? The lore was way to complex for Mario's stupid little brain anyway, he couldn't even count to 10 let alone remember all of that.

Mario's focus went back to the pathetic Vox look-alike and sighed lovely.

He was perfect to Mario. Absolutely perfect. Though he was a bumbling idiot and still not fully redeemed, he was harmless and Mario knew he could fix him.

Mr Puzzles was now acting like that desperate clinging to a student to get them to join didn't happen and was still handing out leaflets for the audition.

Maybe Mario could audition? It's not like he had anything better to do with his life other than eat spaghetti and annoy SMG4 24/7. And it gave him the excuse to hang out with the handsome TV head.

Before Mario could think any longer, a new character appeared on screen and jokely spooked Mr Puzzles, which caused Mr Puzzles to jump and move his hands dramatically like a primary schooler trying way to hard in a poorly done school play.

Mario immediately didn't like this new figure. How dare they spook their one and only true love? And be friendly with him? (Damn Mario just let him have friends, he needs them desperately)

The figure was tall, taller than Mr Puzzles in fact which was a surprise, and extremely buff, looking like that one yaoi art base (you know the one). His head was replaced with a glass of orange juice which for some reasons had eyes on it, like working eyes. Mario didn't question it though as the canonical SMG4 universe was already lacking of lore on how the fuck Mr Puzzles is alive after he cut his head off.

"Awww, did I scare you pookie bear? I'm sorry~!" the figure said, kissing his lover on the check loving.

"I-It's okay OJ-Kun! You just scared me a little that's all." Mr Puzzles said, extremely flustered and shy now out of no where, acting like a uwu soft twink.

Mario was seething with anger. Mr Puzzles had a lover? A boyfriend? This was not okay. Only Mario could be his boyfriend and if he couldn't, then no one could.

An idea popped into Mario's head, quite surprising as he probably didn't have any braincells left.

A very... unique idea.

You see, there was something actually... unnormal about Mario.

He was what you would call...

A yandere.

(part 2 when??? Lol)

[scattered-dreamers]

Just posted Chapter 3 of Second Chances (Don’t fuck it up) and I’ve been listening to the Mechanisms. I’ve been trying so hard not to make any crossovers in this fic, except Aziraphale because he’s canonically a bookshop owner and it just makes sense that he’d have Leitner’s.

I want to revamp my “TMA Meets…” series—I only have 2 fics in it. Not that hard to do. I want to give it a semblance of an underlying plot and incorporate Jonny D’Ville and the Mechs into it as well.

Really incorporate my headcanon of Jon and Jonny looking identical to the point that if they did their makeup and hair the same nobody would be able to physically tell them apart until they opened their mouths to speak.

Their personalities are vastly different. Besides the fact that Jonny can’t compel anybody to talk unless they’re staring down the barrel of his gun.

[nerdypixel]

I do:

Put sad guy in an alternate reality and let him live through different horrors (acknowledging feelings™)

Let him work through stuff. Let him get some rest. Let him face new horrors and let him get to be a different/better person.

2 genres of fanfiction:

1) put that guy into situations

2) take that guy OUT of situations for the love of GOD let them REST 

[myownwholewildworld]

wicked whims — a javier peña oneshot

pairing: javier peña x f!reader (same couple as pretty nails, can be read as a standalone) summary: javi catches you playing wicked whims in the sims and decides to make your fantasies a reality. a/n: I AM NOT OKAY, OKAY? this is the definition of a crackfic. muchísimas gracias a @gothcsz for the inspiration and for convincing me to play this mod, i'll be eternally grateful 😭 i'm loving the levels of freak we're reaching <3 ANYWAY please enjoy this delusion! warnings: 18+, mdni. filthy smut. f! solo masturbation. rough anal sex. creampie. no use of y/n. javi and reader speak spanish. no description of reader other than hair that can be yanked, but i do imagine her as a latina. w/c: ~1.6k

You unglued your eyes from the screen for a second to look at your phone.

8:37 PM.

“¡Mierda! (shit),” you muttered under your breath, checking the time one more time.

No, your eyes hadn’t betrayed you. You really had been playing Sims for the last four hours, completely losing track of time. You were supposed to do laundry today, clothes piling up in the hamper behind you. Damn, you had even planned to run to the shop too for a few ingredients missing from your cupboard.

But this new mod you had just discovered, Wicked Whims, had you on a fucking chokehold, unable to refrain yourself from having your simself perform all the depravities your mind could come up with. You had created yourself and Javi in the game, spending a ridiculuous amount of time on getting the shape of his aquiline nose right. Then spent countless hours looking for the right animations and custom content to live your best life.

In the darkness of your shared room, you unpaused the game again, deciding it was too late for laundry or food shopping.

Your simself and Javi were awaiting further instructions.

Wicked > Sex > Oraljob > Rough deep-throating.

You watched eagerly as your simself choked on Javi’s cock. The slapping of his balls against your chin, along with the lewd noises, was so realistic it soon replaced your smirk with a gentle bite on your plush bottom lip. Saliva and precum overflowed from your lips the moment Javi grabbed your head and began jackhammering into your mouth.

You were gagging loud.

This was too good. So much so, you felt your pussy wetting, your clit pulsing softly. Pressing your knees together, you immersed yourself in the gameplay, your imagination running wild. It even got to a point where you slid your hand under your panties, your fingerpads tracing the slick seam of your cunt.

Leaning back on the chair, one leg propped up over the armrest, you pressed slow, lazy circles on your bundle of nerves, a soft sigh leaving your lips with half-lidded eyes. How was this mod getting you all messy? No idea, but you were horny as fuck.

Stalking your gushing hole, you tentatively sank one finger in your pussy, eyes glued on Javi cumming on the face of your simself.

“Ah, sí, mi Javi haría exactamente eso… (Ah, yes, my Javi would do exactly same),” you hummed in approval, adding a second finger, curling them to reach that precise spot of pleasure.

“¿Qué es lo que yo haría, reina? (What is it that I would do, queen?)”

His actual, real voice interrupted you.

Startled, you jumped to your feet, pushing the chair to one side and switching off the screen of the computer as fast as you could. Turning around, you saw him right behind you.

“¿Cuánto tiempo llevas ahí parado? (How long have you been standing there?)” you asked rather nervously. You really hadn’t heard him come home.

The real question you wanted to ask though was how much had he seen. But you didn’t want to betray yourself in case he hadn’t paid much attention to your gameplay.

“El suficiente (Enough),” he replied with a smirk, closing the distance between you.

His warm hands landed on your naked hips. You were only wearing a tee shirt and underwear, always making yourself comfortable the moment you crossed the frontdoor. Javi leaned in, a knowing smile curling his mouth as his moustache prickled the curve of your neck.

“¿Un día duro en el trabajo? (Hard day at work?)” you attempted to divert the conversation, biting down your lip as Javi left a trail of wet kisses on your sensitive skin.

“Lo único duro que tengo es mi verga después de ver lo que estabas jugando (the only hard thing I have is my cock after watching you play),” he husked as you craned your neck a bit more. Javi groped your ass and pressed your clothed pussy against his growing bulge. “¿Somos nosotros? (Is that us?)”

Well, there was no point in denying the truth, so you nodded.

“Eso es lo que pensaba. Te gusta que te la meta hasta el fondo de la garganta, ¿cierto? (That’s what I thought. You like it when I shove it down your throat, right?)” he questioned, one hand replacing his lips, wrapping it gently around your throat.

You gasped. Your pussy gushed.

This man was a menace to your senses, both in game and in real life. Although virtual Javi could never compare to the real one.

“Javi—”

“Nuh-uh,” he tutted at you. “Odiaría interrupir. Por favor, sigue jugando (I’d hate to interrupt. Please, keep playing),” he ordered, because there was no room for discussion after that.

Javier turned you around, pushing you towards the desk and switching the screen back on. You had forgotten to pause the game, so your sims had decided not to wait for your commands any longer.

Javi and your simself were going at it on the bed, you laying down on your belly as Javi fucked your ass, his chest flush with your back.

“Me gusta lo que veo (I like what I see),” he groaned behind you, his fingers hooking around the bottom part of your panties to push them aside. “No me hagas caso, encanto. Tú juega tranquila (Don’t mind me, darling. Take your time playing).”

Easier said than done. It was hard to focus on the game when you heard Javi unzip his jeans behind you and ramming his throbbing cock between your inner thighs. Gripping the edge of the desk, you stuck your ass out for him. Javi humped your damp slit, his angry cockhead kissing your clit every time he pushed forward.

You whimpered, eyes half closed, watching the faces your simself put on as Javi destroyed her ass.

“Estás bien mojada. ¿Te estuviste tocando mientras jugagas? (You’re so wet. Were you touching yourself while playing?),” his voice hitched in the back of his throat, his mushroom head intruding in your clenching opening.

“Sí. No me pude resistir… Me estabas cogiendo bien duro (Yes, I couldn’t resist… You were fucking me so rough),” you whispered, eyes fully shut and mouth agape, eager for him to impale you from behind.

But instead of doing that, his hips slanted back, your pussy crying, craving him.

“Los ojos en la pantalla, reina (Eyes on the screen, queen),” he retorted, clicking his tongue.

You rapidly obliged.

Wicked > Sex > Anal > Rectal Jackhammer.

Javi snickered behind you, getting the hint.

You felt his hard cock drag along your sticky pussy lips and tapped his glans on your clit a few times, until your knees were trembling with pleasure. Then slid his cock backwards, going past your leaking entrance, until it caught on your rimmed hole.

Slowly he fed his thudding cock into your ass, parting your soft walls as he inched forward. You squirmed and hiccuped, fighting to keep your eyes open and focused on the game whilst the stinging feeling blossomed into something else.

Your sphincter hugged him tight once he was fully seated inside you and Javier grumbled with satisfaction.

Javi pumped out, then back in, testing your resolution. When he was satisfied that you were ready, he grabbed your hair in a fistful and started jackhammering into you—the thrusts hard and unforgiving. Your moans soon followed, the cacophony of your bodies meeting each other filling the room as Javi yanked at your hair, your back arching.

You could feel him in your fucking guts, and that was what made it all even more enjoyable. But what had you tripping over was Javi’s hand going over the swell of your buttocks, down your belly and finding your clit.

“¡Dios, sí, justo ahí! (God, yes, right there!),” you wailed with tears brimming and running down your cheeks, messing up your eyeliner. “¡Más fuerte, Peña! (Harder, Peña!)”

Javi grumbled behind you, fucking into you in a frenzy, like a man possessed by his worst demons.

“Te voy a destrozar el culo, muñeca (I’m gonna destroy your ass, babydoll),” he snarled, rutting into you so hard your knees almost gave way.

You collapsed onto the desk, resting your forehead on the keyboard. Your mind was too fuzzy to focus on the game anymore. Javi was blasting your entrails so hard, he’d wiped out any thought in your brain. You couldn’t think, only feel.

Grabbing your hair one more time and pulling, your face lifted off the keyboard, just in time to see how sim Javi cummed in your simself’s ass.

His fingers rubbed your clit desperately, the coil inside you finally snapping, releasing the tension building inside your body. You came hard, your poor pussy clutching around nothing as your juices leaked through your panties and down your inner thighs. It felt like a motherfucking tsunami had washed over you.

Javi picked up his pace, your ass sheathing him just right, and after one last harsh jerk at your hair, he finally found peace in your puckered, fucked out hole. You felt his warm cum filling you up, sticking to your inner walls and clinging onto them.

A heavy sigh later, Javi let go of your hair and pulled out, spanking your round globe with a sly grin and wiping the sweat off his forehead.

You were still sprawled across the desk, trying to tame your heaving.

“Mira, están cogiendo otra vez. No podemos dejar que nos ganen, reina (Look, they are fucking again. We can’t let them win, queen),” he said, tapping the screen to direct your wavering attention there.

Fuck.

[smahell]

i miss otaku fm with all my heart and soul and i've been patiently waiting for satoshi kada (leviathan's va) to get back into the studio, and interview everyone all over again. i miss the live drama recordings, the stupidly funny plots, the realistic slip-ups and quirks from each of the cast members. i miss a toast in hell's kitchen and genuinely learning and listening about the talents behind the game, and people's amiable messages and questions towards them in Tell Me!

honestly i'm on my knees begging for a third season where maybe he interviews the vas for thirteen, mephisto and raphael since i haven't seen/heard much from them too in terms of personal messages to fans.

satoshi kada, with his radio, acting and tv experience is such a sweet and soothing personality who brings such warmth to every single project he works on, including obey me. i just wish solmare really really recognized how impactful these podcasts were, no matter long or short, and the abilities of this main cast because goddamit..in such a time where nightbringer is being scrutinized and obey me itself is falling in popularity, absolutely none of the voice actors have forgotten or even brushed aside obey me.

"oh it's because they're working for the game, they'd get fired if they criticized it"

//NB: ik this video is sort of old but i have plenty more proof that the vas still play the game, I thought this was just the best example.//

fuck, most (if not ALL) of the vas play the game??? they get the exact same experience as you and i!! and every boys in the house clip i see them happy to be there together, praising and celebrating the game and just having fun man. it's honestly so touching.

i miss the anime episodes: the ideas shared between the vas and the writers, and every episode seven with the va's analysing their performances and characters makes me laugh till my stomach hurts. you *should* consider how entertaining the anime is; it's obviously rather low budget but you can really tell ( even though this wasn't the obey me universe we know and love) it still kept people on their feet and entertained me like some twisted ao3 crackfic istg. you can tell that the anime was made with fans in mind, and that's where the writers for it really flourished. to this day I still see people talking and sharing screenshots from it..

basically.. let's try not focus on the fact that "obey me is getting worse", let's all look to a future and try and be positive about things, yeah? because behind this silly little demon dating sim are talented writers, artists, coders, ambassadors and fans that have kept the game alive for 5+ years.

i wish obm does flourish more in the future, and the devs focus on creating a game(s) and content that inspire, enlighten and make everyone smile.

please, as a ty, take my silly photos of my favs. I must spread the word..

[butterflyprompts]

Crackfic Prompt Ideas ಠ_ಠ

(a mix of romantic, platonic, and solo crackfic ideas! as always these are free to use whenever, wherever, credit not even necessary. but, if you do write with these, do feel free to share it with me! i would love to see it! :D as a reminder, i also take prompt requests!)

Character A steals Character B's snacks, and now they must suffer the consequences.

Character A has ran out of money. Now they must find a job, preferably minimum wage.

Bonus: They discover that Character B also ran out of money, and is their new manager.

Character A is sold to One Direction (Or, if the series you're writing for has a fictional band, have them be sold to it instead!)

Character A gets isekai'd. Are they the overpowered protagonist? The self-insert mary sue character? The series' new punching bag? Great for crossovers!

Write your favorite bitterly divorced couple after the first alimony payment. What does Character A do with it? What does Character B think about the situation? Make it funny, make it angsty, up to you! Crack and angst is a tag on AO3, after all. Use it!!!

Character A hosting a post-divorce party, only to have to sheepishly announce during the festivities that they actually have gotten back together with B.

Writing exercise: Stretch out your blorbo struggling to open a bag of chips for as long as you can. I'm talking 2k, 5k, 10k words if you can. Nothing else happens, they just buy, struggle to open, and rant to themselves as they fight with the chips.

Bonus points if the bag explodes on them once they do get it open, and it spills everywhere. Just absolutely ruin their day for me, please.

That, or let someone they despise walk into the room and casually open it for them.

Character A is in a sudden, intense amount of pain with no known cause or cure. The truth is, someone from our world is projecting their period cramps onto them.

Write Character A doing something completely mundane. Get as boring and pathetic as possible, if you can.

Character A wakes up in the middle of the night after a horrific nightmare. However, when they try to describe the horrors they just went through in their sleep to Character B, they can't help but cry laughing. Sorry Character A, but your biggest fear is absolutely ridiculous.

Recreate your favorite characters in The Sims. Then, rewrite whatever happens as a fic. Bonus points if you try your hardest to make it canon compliant! (I personally enjoy the addition of the Basemental Drugs mod for this one. Sure, let's get my favorite eldritch deity addicted to ketamine, I don't care.)

Character A cannot hide it any longer. They have a dark and horrible secret, one they can no longer in good faith hide from Character B. Character B is, of course, stressed at Character A's dramatics. What could they have done that's so bad? The truth is, nothing. The secret is completely mundane and normal.

For fluff and crack, consider cuteness aggression! "The truth is, whenever you do that thing where you sneeze and then say bless you to yourself, I want to squeeze you and bite your head off!" "...That's it?" "I'm a monster, B! I'm so sorry!"

Alternatively, have Character B completely overreact to this completely mundane secret. "What do you mean you don't like (Character B's favorite thing)?! How could you!?"

[thereisnoplan]

I haven't posted about it here so I'm going to do a bit of shameless self promo for one of my fics:

Cunk on the Magnus Institute

A silly little crackfic I posted to ao3 last month. Philomena Cunk interviews Jonathan Sims. It goes as well as you'd expect.

3.5k words | Rating: general audiences

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

Where the Wind Knows Your Name

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/IfBToiz by Serious_goose_the_third Jonathan Sims has a new job at The Magnus Institute in Cheyanne Wyoming in 1873. his memory is faulty, and he suspects something is up. First, he recognized the Sheriff, then his coworkers, then his boss. he's never met any of them before. OR TMA but wild west crackfic because i thought it would be silly. Updates Weekly Words: 1628, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M Characters: Martin Blackwood, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James, Not-Them Sasha James, Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Basira Hussain, Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Georgie Barker, Melanie King, Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus, Peter Lukas, Michael | The Distortion (The Magnus Archives) Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Sasha James/Tim Stoker, Basira Hussain/Alice "Daisy" Tonner, Georgie Barker/Melanie King, Elias Bouchard | Jonah Magnus/Peter Lukas Additional Tags: Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Alternate Universe - Western, Country & Western, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Slow Burn, eventually everyone is gay, Temporary Amnesia, Drinking, Cowboy Activities, Daisy Tonner Forms a Posse, Cowboy Hats, cowboy boots, Cheesy Western Colloquialisms, Michael is a Little Shit read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/IfBToiz

[nikkeisimmer]

Narrator: Here’s a 64x63 lot out in the middle of nowhere on the outskirts of Hidden Springs.

It’s nice sunny day and Admiral Tosh Nakamura is standing in the middle of the lot wearing a flightsuit and chaps (a g-suit).

Hopefully it makes sense to somebody, because it sure as hell doesn’t to me. Having finished up their term of service in the United States Navy, he’s decided that he’s going to settle down here and earn some money in order to live comfortably for the rest of his existence. Considering the fact that he’s done his forty years of service, he pretty much can’t get called up again.

Evidently he won’t be alone either.

Vice-Admiral Meg Austin, former Judge Advocate General is now retired after thirty years of naval service and she’s decided that she’s going to take some time and spend it with friends while she figures out what she’s going to do with the rest of her life. Does nobody figure this stuff out while they’re in the service?

Accompanying her are Captain Kimber Benton with twenty years in (who is still subject to call-up), Lieutenant Colonel Sarah “Mac” Mackenzie, Captain Harmon Rabb Jr. Lieutenant Commander Jack Keeter and Commander Phil Burrows. Yes, it’s an odd-numbered situation, but well, Phil’s nuts. That pretty much explains everything he does.

It should be fine as long as he’s not haranguing the commode. But one thing I still want to know is: Who the hell decided to let him in the cockpit of an F-14 Tomcat?

The Watcher has given them pretty much nothing other than five apple trees and a lettuce plant. Yeah, that’s going to really help them out. And they’d better nurse that lettuce plant because if it gets eaten by deer, they’re not getting another one.

But thank goodness for the Navy and their pension. They will receive the equivalent of §2.5M each for their separation and they will receive §18,500 a month for the rest of their lives, which means §55,500 a season. That should be enough to get them started. But the only thing is that they can’t build their house without getting good at being handy around the house. Frankly gaining the handyman and inventing skills is the only way they can start building and the inventing work table. That means that for every wall section they create they have to have at least a Level 2 skill level and unfortunately it would have to be one section a day, no matter how much money they have. If they have mastered the handyman and inventing skills, then they will be able to complete a room in a week, which means that they will have to all work together at getting this done. Each of them will have to learn how to become handy and invent things. Nope, it’s not going to be easy. But where will they sleep? How will they eat? I guess they’re going to have to pick a spot on the ground...and if it rains, it’s going to be miserable. C’est la vie.

ADM Nakamura: My back is going to hate me in the mornings.

Watcher: Looks like he finally got out of that flight gear. That's half your problem, Admiral, 50 pounds of flight gear on your torso's bound to make your back ache.

CAPT Benton: What exactly did I get myself into?

LCOL Mackenzie: I don’t know how I’m going to work this around, but I know Harm’s to blame for this.

CAPT Rabb: I’m so dead.

CDR Burrows: Oooh...I can go fishing, and biking and…

LCDR Keeter: Oh, man, I stepped in it...now. This is not going to be comfortable even with Meg around.

VADM Austin: Texans are supposed to be tough, but camping out in a temperate rainforest isn’t one of them. The temp is going to get down to 42 at night. This is going to be miserable.

Narrator: Should we give them sleeping bags?

NAAAAAAAAAAAH! 😝

[asplendere]

omg hiiii arte from capistas brasileiros tumblr !!!!! 🦋✨️

(Sempre uma grande felicidade reencontrar o seu blog, hehe 💝)

Eu me fiz a mesma pergunta, esses tempos, e achei um exercício de pensamento bem interessante, então: nos próximos cinco anos, quais seriam as dez metas que você tem pro seu hobbie de escrever fanfics? ☝️🧐

Não precisa ser dez metas que você realmente tenha pros próximos cinco anos, mas se você tivesse que listar dez metas (talvez hipotéticas), quais seriam?

omg hiiiiii mira!!! sempre um prazer te ver por aqui, volte mais vezes

interessantíssimo você me perguntar isso, Mira, pq eu parei de escrevinhar por enquanto 🙃 massss como a sua proposta é muito boa e me fez refletir, aqui vão:

Voltar a escrever, obviamente 🫠

Concluir as minhas fics já iniciadas, pois 1) sou muito sem vergonha e 2) alguém aí que não direi o nome já mandou caçar minha cabeça por causa do OAN e ver as pessoas favorita do TKD dói meu kokoro, então é, eu preciso terminar

Escrever com o Hoshina. Amigos, o Chaos todo está rendido por ele (e por Kaiju inteiro né, mas deixa baixo), mas minha obsessão está tão tão---que eu tive que mudar meu user por um tempo (e agora ele tá salvo lá na secundária) por causa desse rapaz. Ele é um dos meus irmões entp preferidos de todos os tempos, então preciso dar um jeito de sair com uma fanfic dele.

Fazer e TERMINAR uma long-fic com mais de 30 capítulos. Meu sonho de consumo ter uma long-fic grande assim terminada, pra mim perfil que tem é elite viu?

Tentar novos fandoms. A maior parte das coisas que eu gosto tem só 3 pessoas que lêem/conhecem? Sim! Masss morro de vontade de explorar e escrever histórias com outros fandons de que gosto.

Postar uma fanfic que eu tenha feito tudo. Sim, pois ando muito preguiçosa e só não terceirizo o corpo do capítulo, de resto é eu enchendo o saco da Raiy, da Juh e da Harae até pra saber qual título eu vou botar sem nem ter uma sinopse (baseado em fatos reais).

Escrever uma crackfic. Todo mundo sabe que eu sou uma tiozona do pavê, então eu realmente queria tentar escrever uma fic só besteirol bem duvidosa pra ver o que vai sair. Só ladeira a baixo, provavelmente.

Tentar gêneros novos. Nas fics, eu fiquei até agora no romance, comédia e, no máximo do máximo, uma pitadinha de ação e aventura. Então queria tentar algum gênero diferente em algum momento no futuro.

Ler e comentar em mais fanfics. Faz tempo que eu não faço uma maratona digna de leitura e surtos nos comentários, e não é por falta de história boa, pq minha biblioteca tá cheissima! Preciso só de tempo e vergonha na cara pra, quando ele surgir, não procrastinar, mas essa definitivamente é uma meta.

Fazer uma collab. Já enchi muito o saco das pessoas, mas depois eu dou pra trás ✊😔 tô no erro, tô no erro. Mas realmente quero fazer uma fic com alguém.

É issooo!! façam vcs tbm que leram pq agora fiquei curiosa pra saber! valeu por lembrar de mim, Mira, responda minha encheção de saco que deixarei na sua ask tbm assim que terminar de escrever isso aqui hehe bjooo

(P. S.: 11. minha última meta é ver a Mira escrevendo com um fandom que eu conheço pra eu poder ler, capar e surtar no pv dela.)

[sparkyblizz]

cursed ass crackfic in which Loki Beaker's genetically engineered daughter, Ceres, falls in love with Pascal Curious's alien son, Tycho, possibly one of the weirdest Romeo and Juliet-esque stories ever

completely necessary elaboration under the cut

EDIT: fic is now out lads let's go

Ceres (and her brother Atom) are only seen in TS3 (as sims from the future for the Into The Future pack) and in TS4, where they live alongside Nervous Subject, Loki and Circe Beaker, and are only Loki's children, having been made from his DNA and not actually being Circe's children

in this story though I'd have it be like... Nervous ran away to live with the Curiouses shortly after Tycho was born, he falls in love with and marries Pascal and they raise Tycho together

meanwhile, after Nervous escapes, Loki engineers Atom and Ceres, and then fast forward like 15 years and Ceres and Tycho meet in high school and fall in love

the sheer stupidity of it all, Pascal and Loki being enemies and of course after what the Beakers did to Nervous he's not a fan of them either, then their kids are like dating... insane

[nuyhado3o]

Masterlist (recs open)

Moodboards

Kpop:

BigBang

-,Here with me', Gtop

Le Sserafim

-,EPatBw', lesserafim

(~request more kpop moodboards~)

Jpop

-none yet !!

Kdrama

-none yet !!

Jdrama

-none yet !!

Fics

Kpop:

Bigbang

- Lost in the lights, GD x fem!reader, fluff

Stray kids

- Bermuda Triangle, Hwang Hyunjin

-My tempo, Bang Chan, SMUT!!

- Untitled #1, Hwang Hyuniin, vanilla smut

- Trouble dressed in velvet, spicy

Enhypen

- Bite me, Park Sunghoon, fluff??

- closer than ever, Sim Jake, fluff

- Pillowtalk, Jay, slightly angst

-- Trouble dressed in velvet, spicy

-Spoiled with love, fluff Jay

Nct

- My girl, Mark Lee, fluff valentines special

- Make you mine, Jaehyun valentines and bday special

- Trouble dressed in velvet, spicy

Txt

- Breathe, Soobin, hurt/comfort

- Trouble dressed in velvet, spicy

Jpop:

-&team

-10:10, Maki fluff

Kdrama:

-Squid game

Thanos squad as breakfast club, crackfic

Brooklyn baby, player 380/se-mi, fluff wlw

Thanos squad as your Uber driver, crackfic

Y/n confessing their love to jungbae in the midst of the games , fluff/angst

Actors

풀어, Gong Yoo x reader

Jdrama:

Alice in borderland

-AIB characters as your doordash drivers, crackfic

Anime:

-none yet !!

[ao3feed-brucewayne]

The Kidnapping of Bruce Wayne

by Arachnid_Apologist Bruce has been kidnapped by the mysterious Archivist. But what does he want? And why is he so hot? (A short crackfic inspired by Bluejay_Leaf’s TMA/Batman crossover fic Aspicio et Fio. This is intended to be a fanfiction written by a Gothamite in the world of that crossover.) Words: 959, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Bruce Wayne, Batman, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Relationships: Bruce Wayne/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Bruce Wayne/Batman - Relationship Additional Tags: crackfic, Kidnapping, Out of Character, Like. Extremely OOC (for the bit). via https://ift.tt/gtU6ewy

[ihavenohotcocoa]

Never Have I Ever: Specific Service Job AU (Flower shop/Tattoo artist/Coffee Shop/Etc.; you get the Vibes)

I have not written one of these, and if I ever do there’s like. 3 combinations that I think would be funny lol.

1. Phoenix Wright/Miles Edgeworth Coffee Shop AU but it’s one giant crackfic. A murder occurs at the coffee shop Phoenix is working at to pay his way through art school, and he has to help Edgeworth solve the murder in a single weekend because his boss entrusted him with the shop while he was out of town and he really needs this job. Despite there being a literal murder, it’s more of just a hallmark-style rom-com with as many tropes as I can cram into it because I think it’d be funny. Also Phoenix’s boss is played up as this super menacing and cruel person and then he turns up at the end and it’s just Larry

2. Life Series Scott/Jimmy Flower Shop/Soulmate AU. The Soulmate is largely there because the way I write flower husbands is as an inevitable thing that happens in every universe, other than that it’s a pretty run-of-the-mill flower shop AU where Scott runs “The Hobbit Hole”, a little hole-in-the-wall flower shop frequented by Jimmy

3. Jonathan Sims/Martin Blackwood Librarian AU. Martin is a librarian, Jon is a huge nerd who comes to the library on a regular basis, and it’s a sweet little 5+1 fic of all the times Martin saw Jon, and one time Jon saw Martin

Of all of these I’d say the Flower Husbands and Jmart ones are the most likely to actually get written, on account of being one-shots or at least relatively short fics in comparison to the Narumitsu one

[thatforgottenbasilisk]

WIP SPONSORSHIP!!!

My "WIP Sponsorship" option for @/ficsforgaza!!

Please read my information post about my participation first, which can be found here

All listed WIPs are for My Hero Academia and The Magnus Archives. For more options for fandoms, I also have an option to Request a Fic!

My rate is $1 per 100 words on any of the WIPs listed below the cut. Depending on how long this event goes, the list may change!

Closed Doors: A crossover fic for My Hero Academia and The Magnus Archives. Chapter 14 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is at least 3261 words.

fireworks (and their ashes): A fic for The Magnus Archives. Jon x Tim. Post-Unknowing, set right at the start of s4. Chapter 7 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is at least 2618 words.

the gremlin zone: A fic for My Hero Academia. A groupchat crackfic, starring the Todoroki family. Chapter 17 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 1000 words.

how to live with yourself: A fic for My Hero Academia. The premise is that Fuyumi killed a man in self-defense when she was younger, and slowly learns about how to live with herself, as well as how other people close to her have learned to live with themselves for their pasts- some of which she never knew about. Chapter 5 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

in love i've always been a mercenary: A fic for My Hero Academia. Pre-canon AU, from Shimura Nana's POV. Gran Torino suddenly and unexpectedly defects to her side after being All for One's right hand man, but something's fishy about the whole thing. Chapter 3 is currently at 201 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 4000 words.

Jonathan Sims Is Dead In The End: A fic for The Magnus Archives. Time travel AU where Sasha is the Archivist, stuck alone in the apocalypse. She goes back in time to fix things, and is only kind of successful. Chapter 14 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is at least 1584 words.

One Loop at a Time: A fic for My Hero Academia. Time loop crackfic (crack treated seriously, at the moment) where, with every loop, someone else in 1-A (or adjacent) is pulled in. Chapter 3 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 3000 words.

Sins of the Father: A fic for My Hero Academia. Midoriya is the son of All for One and is in line to take it all over, what with his lessons on all of it and being forced to murder his way through anybody his father brings to him for execution. He wants out, but he doesn't know how to even begin. Chapter 5 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

some heroes wear masks (some of those masks are stolen): A fic for My Hero Academia. Midoriya Izuku is quirkless and almost out of options- all that he has left is to defect to villainy or starve. Staying alive doesn't necessarily mean throwing away his conscience. Chapter 5 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

the unofficial adventures of the unofficial archive group chat: A fic for The Magnus Archives. Groupchat Crackfic, currently starring the s1 archival crew. More characters will be added. Chapter 5 is currently at 4 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 1000 words.

Watchers: A fic for The Magnus Archives. Tim is falling to the Beholding, and he and Jon have to try to get along if either of them wants to figure anything out. Pre-Unknowing. Chapter 6 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is roughly 2000 words.

We all fall apart: A fic for My Hero Academia. Touya and Fuyumi are twins, both of whom died in a "training accident" ten years ago. Natsuo and Shouto try to live normal lives, while Dabi seems to be anything but human. Chapter 23 is currently at 0 words. The goal for this chapter is at least 1453 words.