#Smeagoll

[silmarillion-ways-to-die]

[the-eclectic-penguin]

[gandalf-the-fool]

[spectrum-color]

The fandom jokes about Gandalfs love of and absolute faith in hobbits, but like he’s a maiar so he’s seen some shit with the other races. Is there a hobbit Feanor? How about a hobbit Ar-Pharazon? Even a hobbit Sauron? The worst we get from hobbits is Smeagol killing a guy in a mugging (admittedly not great) and then spending a few centuries minding his own business in a cave eating raw fish. They are unproblematic kings.

[bookaddiction14]

Someone’s prob caught this long before me, but:

In Lord of the rings (fellowship) we see the ring leaving Gollum and bouncing and rolling down the rocks:

The ring wanted to leave Gollum and therefore did.

It’s then picked up by Bilbo unwillingly; has an ‘unexpected journey’; and stays with him.

But when Bilbo is leaving, he decides to leave the ring with Frodo. The ring however, wants to stay and keep wielding its power and influence over him.

And when, at Gandalf’s insistence, Bilbo drops the ring, it still doesn’t want to leave him:

Which is why it falls flat, no bouncing or rolling away. It thuds to the floor like a child might stomp its foot when not getting its way.

I dunno how i’ve never caught this b4, and I may just be stupid and ppl have spoken bout this b4 but i’m a nerd and can’t help but mention it unprompted.

[markosep2001-blog]

I had this joke in my mind since 2015 after watching Hobbit 1 on TV. Gollum thought of breasts and asked himself how to remove bikini. Chainsaw wasn't really in my mind, but I thought it would be funny none the less.

[homoqueerjewhobbit]

Warner Brothers just announced the upcoming film Lord of the Rings: The Hunt for Gollum coming in 2026.

I've gotten a peek at the rest of the upcoming release schedule as well:

2028: Lord of the Rings: The Gay Adventures of Glorfindel

2030: Lord of the Rings: The Fatty Bolger Story

2033: Lord of the Rings: Beregond, You Remember Him, Right?

2035: Lord of the Rings: Golf Across Middle Earth

2036: The Silmarillion: Everything We Remembered From Before We Got Bored and Gave Up Reading

2038: The Silmarillion: The Rest of the Book, As Mansplained By Three Redditors

2040: Lord of the Rings: Shadowfax and Bill the Pony: A Tale of Forbidden Love

2043: Lord of the Rings: Endgame

[no-one-can-save-you-now12]

lotr bts

He looks so done

Omygosh frodo you're an amazing artist

THAT IS NOT SEAN BEAN I REPETE THAT IS NOT SEAN BEAN (ik it's a double but whatever)

Honestly my favorite eowyn look

Moments before disaster

Yea you've probably seen this one before but I freaking love it

You can't be in lotr without sunglasses

Pippin and frodo my darlings

*screeching* wheresss my umbrellaaaa

And yes I know it's not lotr but I just thought "Martin is so weird and I love him for it"

[grouper]

bless us and splash us

[captaincanonly]

so… i finally got into this bullshit…… sobs in a corner

part 2 part 3

[transhuman-priestess]

you know i'm thinking about how few teeth gollum has and like do you think frodo ever got a good sloppy bj from him

[kottekonst]

Time for another coffee painting post 🥳 This time, it's none other than the one and only Gollum.

As always, painted with instant coffee on smooth, heavyweight paper.

I made it specifically for my good friend, whom I used to work with during conventions and shows. It's also been one of my most popular prints 😊

[animentality]

I forced my friend who hates epic fantasy to watch Lord of the Rings with me, and I mean that legitimately, like she literally said I'm not watching that, and I said while you're in my goddamn house, you're watching it. There's no negotiation.

Anyway, she spent the first half of the Two Towers bitching and complaining and saying everyone was boring and no one was pretty - she also called Aragorn mid, which honestly, to be honest, to be truthful, if I killed her, I'm pretty sure a judge and a jury would side with me for that one.

But I digress.

She spent the first half of the movie saying the movie sucked- and then she shut her goddamn mouth for the second half.

Because even the biggest epic fantasy haters in the world shut their whining mouths when they see the battle of helm's deep.

There is literally TOO MUCH cool shit happening for even the most normie of normies to hate on it.

Seriously. Elves showing up when the humans need them most, elven archers with the amazing long range volleys, orcs with ladders, orcs with HOOKS, bombing the wall down, Legolas riding down a shield as he shoots arrows, Aragorn throwing Gimli's ass at the bridge...

Gandalf arriving on his white horse with the Rohirrim to save the damn day...and yes, elsewhere, the Ents being awesome and fucking shit up...

Doesn't matter if you're a hater of all things epic fantasy.

This shit too fire for even you to resist the burn.

[velvet4510]

One of the most fascinating details about Gollum for me is that even though it is said that the Ring warps its user’s intentions and makes them commit acts of evil, Gollum never once uses the Ring for any power-seeking purposes. He doesn’t try to assemble an army or rule over anyone. He doesn’t try to conquer lands or replace Sauron. He never uses it with the intent of dominating others. All he ever wants to do with it is hold it, look at it, sometimes wear it, and keep it with him in dark little caves where he can eat anything edible he can find. It’s even mentioned somewhere that the Ring’s temptation in his mind is merely visions of him having enough fish to keep himself fed forever. But he never tries to use the Ring’s power to actually become powerful…the very thing that Gandalf and Galadriel were afraid they would do if they had the Ring. I think that goes to show how Gollum still was shaped by his hobbit nature; it’s just an inherent trait for hobbits to be completely uninterested in any kind of absolute power or dominion of others.

[jellyfish-perspective]

I'm sorry, but other than the egg one, all of Bilbo's riddles suck so bad. Gollum is coming prepared with five lovely, deeply disturbing little riddle-poems. They're guessable. They rhyme. They've got clear well-defined answers like 'time' and 'fish' and 'darkness'. The answer to one of Bilbo's riddles is literally "Fish on a little one-legged table, man at table sitting on a three-legged stool, the cat gets the bones" which is outrageous. That's not a thing. And then the actual winning riddle of the contest (albeit accidentally) is 'what does Bilbo have in his pocket?' which is obviously unfair. So I'm sorry, I know he's disgusting and a creature of the dark but Gollum should have won that contest fair and square and the story should have ended there and that is why you need an impartial referee to uphold a minimum quality level for your riddle contest lest you be robbed and ultimately die in a fiery death because of it.