#So it’s very interesting to see explanations as to why they wanted him gone

[sopuu]

Imma be real for a second and say I love the way Jesse has scars on your art??? Love it when someone gives a character who's been through a lot of physical (and mental) trauma some kind of scar. It just emphasizes to me that they went through that. And the effects of that stay with them.

Sorry I'm rambling

Tldr mmm scar art prettyyyy

exactly!! jesse’s gone through so much that i’d be surprised if he didn’t have any scars. and i like to think he’s confident enough to show them off not as injuries to his body but as a part of who he is, like a collection of experiences and battles he’s overcome. hence why i have his sleeves rolled up most of the time (and also rolled sleeves…so gender…)

he’s got a bunch of other scars i never get to show off so here’s some scar headcanons as a treat! i wanted to give each major one a backstory so it’s not just there for aesthetics. the others are normal battle scars tho

ramblings about the f-bomb scar and the face scar under the cut bc there’s a lot oops. ty for the ask!

can we talk about the damage the f-bomb did to him in game. or the lack of damage even. because there’s no way this man got out of a close explosion from the strongest bomb with ONLY ringing ears for a few seconds?? not that im complaining i’m glad he’s okay bfjkfh

either the order’s armour is made of impressively strong cloth and metal or minecraft block people are very tolerant to damage. although the logical explanation would probably be the damage can’t be shown realistically within the limitations of a minecraft game (not just on the pg side of things but also they are. made of a few pixels) idk it’s something interesting to think about lore/game development wise

if it weren’t for canon depictions i’d probably have the scar cover half of his body,, but i like keeping designs close to canon depictions so a big shoulder scar it is! i had it cover more of his back since he turns when being fished down to try and shield himself

as for the face scar! i’ve debated for a long time whether to have that as the origin bc i thought it was too cruel but it stayed in the end- it’s probably the hardest one he’s had to overcome despite it being the smallest major scar. every time he looks in the mirror he’s reminded of how he failed reuben. how can it be that he only gets a small scrape while his best friend loses his life? all because of jesse’s mistakes?

some OLD art incoming so shield your eyes but these are a few doodles exploring that! i was also testing the f-bomb scar on the face for funsies

eventually though, as he learns to accept his many scars he comes to see this one as a mark of the turning point of his life, both the good and the bad, and how much reuben and jesse meant to each other that they faced the world’s end together, knowing full well of the consequences. in a sense he carries reuben’s memory through that scar :]

anyways this is so long i’ll shut up now LOL

[red-writes]

crushing on taiju shiba is so hard because you can never truly get a read on his mood. he’s grown up now and learned how to dial back his personality so not everything he feels is shown on his face but it’s hard to tell wether he likes you back or not, his poker face for romance is incredible. you guys have gone out together a few times you and he has yet to kiss you, even though you’ve dropped multiple hints that you were ready, but when other men try and approach you on the street he makes it clear that “she’s with me.” and they can’t help but back off after being face to face with a man looming at 6′5 and is nothing but thick muscle. crushing on taiju is very difficult because you've watched the sunset together and he’s always whispered “beautiful” and you were never sure if he meant you or the view. he doesn’t compliment you directly and every night before you see you him you doll yourself up hoping that tonight he’d comment on it but every night he looks you up and down, devouring your appearance with his eyes and proceeds to ask you if you’re ready to go. furthermore he only calls you ‘kid’ and sure there was an age difference but the nickname made you seem almost like a little sister and not a love interest. but with taiju there were those sweet times where you'd hear him call you by your name and the sound would have you floating on air.

 crushing on taiju is dangerous because he’s such a gentleman to you. he pulls out your chair, tucks loose hairs for you, covers you with his figure while you adjust your dress and yet he has yet to let you know if his heart is beating just as fast as yours or if he's just being kind to you. and you're getting to the end of your rope- you couldn’t keep sitting in limbo like this, what were you supposed to do it was like torture waiting for him to confess to you and you decided that waiting was no longer an option but you soon discovered that crushing on taiju was actually impossible because as you entered his apartment using the key he gifted you a while back you discovered a girl in his bed while he rested half dressed on the love seat across the room in front of the bed and you froze before mumbling an apology and quickly leaving and shutting the door behind you. you could hear his shuffling behind you, calling your name and the sound of your own sniffles and cries drowned out that sound. once you make it home your phone is blowing up with calls that you know are from him. it just all made sense now, the reason he never actually made a move on you...was she prettier than you? did she have something you didn’t? what made her special to taiju and not you? your own insecurities bubbling to the surface as a result of his actions. you jumped as you heard several rough knocks at your front door. you opened it only to be met with the very man you were trying to avoid. he was out of breath, looking as though he came here on foot. he was breathless as he explained the situation to you. a childhood friend of his just needed a place to stay for the night and that she was moving to another city the next day. there wasn't anything happening between them he explained and the weight of doubt is lifted off your shoulders but his explanation didn't quite answer every single question you had.

“if this is true then why haven't you told me you liked me? or...or that I'm pretty and you enjoy having me around? and you always call me kid- I just..” you felt tears brim your eyes and you didn't want to cry, you didn’t plan on this you just wanted him to like you as much as you liked him. he pulled you into a hug and you began to softly sob into his chest as you hugged him back. he squeezed you tight, his heart hurting- he really didn’t mean to make you cry, hated seeing you sad.

“i do like you..” he sort of whispers out and you freeze for a moment as you hear him out.

“i like you so much and i think that you’re stunning and i love having you around more than anything i..want you around all the time, you’re so special to me” he confesses and you lift your head from his chest and he moves his hands to cup your cheeks. you smiled up at him, cheeks smothered in tears and nose full of snot. taiju didn't care, he thought you looked gorgeous. he leaned down and pressed a kiss on your forehead which made you pout. he noticed your reaction and used his thumbs to wipe your eyes dry.

“don’t want our first kiss to be after i made my girl cry” he says and you giggle at the nickname. 

maybe dating taiju shiba would be even better than you hoped. 

[certifieddilfenjoyer]

Astral Prism, Orpheus & Raphael Theory

So you know how most people in Baldur's Gate 3 fandom make the Raphael joke?

I'm here to tell you that it's extremely hurtful, because his character has a lot more depth than some of you are willing to see.

Behold, my Baldur's Gate 3 theory:

Right before we enter Act 3, we are jumped by githyanki who want to retrieve our Astral Prism. We are summoned to the Dream Visitor - The Emperor, to help him in the fight.

We find out then that our supposed ally is an illithid but there is one more guy, The Gith, the Orpheus, The Prince of the Comet.

You can ask the Emperor what the heck is a githyanki doing there and he will tell you the brief story about the War of The Comet*.

He is going to mention, that he is bound by INFERNAL chains. Hold on? How come?

After we are done with the Royal Guard, we can go to the upper left side from Orpheus's prison and find an ancient Githyanki disc. It will tell us, that Vlaakith had some infernal business conducted with a devil with wry charm. Of course Raphael isn't the only devil capable of being charming, but it feels natural for it to be him when he is already a very important character in game.

Baldur's Gate 3 Wiki says that it is indeed Vlaakith and Raphael.

OK, but why would they exchange the Astral Prism and is it Vlaakith getting it or Raphael receiving the relic?

He is giving it to Vlaakith. But how would he be in possession of such an artifact?

My theory: He is the one who had it created for that trade. (Commissioned from someone else)

Explanation:

If you look at Hope's and Orpheus's prison, you will notice a striking resemblance at the crystals that can be only shattered by the Orphic Hammer. A Hammer, that Raphael is in possession of! How convenient!

(Even Hope's and Orpheus' eyes are glowing in the same way when they are enslaved.**)

The runes and the design of both Astral Prism and Orpheus' shackles are also strikingly similar. It does not look like anything of Githyanki creation, it screams infernal.

But that still doesn't really add up, does it? Who would possibly create such a powerful object which plays such a major role in the plot?

Here, we have to familiarise ourselves with the wonderful post by Bearhugsandshrugs

Em explains above who the people visiting House of Hope are***.

One of them is a crazy, extremely knowledgeable wizard who specialises in creating copies of himself which prevents him from dying in battle.

When we kill Raphael, we kill him in HoH, in his own domain. He should be gone, for good! But yet, upon interacting with the Orb of Infernal Envisioning, we see that he is soon to be devoured by his father. Hells do not split into separate planes - so either Mephisto snatched his soul somehow (which seems impossible because his body is still there and devil's souls are their bodies) or Raphael respawned and his father took one of his clones or something like that. (He's just so cool I had to put it in here, but let me return to my theory now)

Another name on the list points out to Raphael's interest in different planes (even the ones which don't seem to be reachable) but also, magical puzzle boxes capable of holding items inside. As you can see, the name on the list is under the uninvited visitors section, which most likely means that they either fuel his soul pillars or have been turned into a soul coin. So it didn't have to be that particular person helping Raphael with the creation of the Astral Prism, but it points out to his interest in that topic.

Now, when would that even happen?

Karsus Folly took place in -339 DR, BG3 takes place in 1492 DR, around 2000 years later.

The enslavement of Orpheus - so also the Vlaakith trade - happened at around -4000 DR.

It is not impossible that Raphael was already around and scheming at that time. Why? Because Mephistopheles gifted Haarlep to Raphael most likely when Raphael was about to get the Crown before his father snatched it. Comparing their visual age, it seems that Raphael was already a young adult cambion at around the War of The Comet age.

Another thing is the fact that, Kith'rak Voss, the badass Githyanki Red Dragon rider, the sword of Vlaakith, found out about Raphael and contacted him and told us to get our ass inside Sharess Caress. Raphael doesn't mention him having an 'office' there, it's Voss who does it. Only upon entering the place, we can interact with Korrilla who's like, hey girl go upstairs Raphael rented a room hoping you'd drop by. HE KNOWS WE SPOKE TO VOSS, he has to! And also, Voss was around when Orpheus got enslaved! According to Wiki he was inside the Astral Plane when that happened. And Raphael has absolutely 0 interest in trading with Voss, yet the githyanki managed to reach him somehow. In my opinion, when he finally realised the lies of Vlaakith, he was looking for a specific devil, for Raphael, because he might remember him from back then.

(* Justice to my poor Githyanki, the most based and cool race in BG3. Imagine how painful it has to be to realize over centuries of time that you helped the self-proclaimed queen establish her tyranny over your own people because you've been brainwashed to believe that Orpheus is a traitor and Vlaakith the rightful heir of the throne)

(** The eyes, the chains, the crystals. The top of the Orphic Hammer is literally partially built from that same gem/crystal and on top of that, if you use Examine on it, it clearly states that it has been built in Infernal forges.)

(*** headcanon warning: The Amulet of Vigor that is present in the Archive is actually proven to have some... Other invigorating capabilities ☠️☠️☠️ and the old, ancient, crazy wizard has the boudoir privileges. Coincidence? ☠️☠️)

Anyways, to sum up:

• Githyanki disc shows us a deal between Vlaakith and Raphael where the devil gives her the Astral Prism.

• Raphael orders creation of the Orphic Hammer (the name itself, come on, it's such a mockery just like House of Hope) to make sure that he has the means to free him if it will benefit him in any way.

• In exchange for the Hammer, he receives some kind of knowledge of ascension to godhood. (Lae'Zel tells us during the game that ascension is the githyanki's greatest honour but it turns out it is nothing else but ensuring that Vlaakith remains alive and a god, because she just consumes the life force of her greatest warriors)

• Hope's and Orpheus's chains are strikingly similar and the part of the Orphic Hammer is built from the same gem/crystal that seems to be enslaving both of them.

So yea, my humble request is that you start fully appreciating the incredible writing of the game, instead of just focusing on the shallow 'haha bottom' jokes. I could make another post about that itself, but it's pointless. I hope you enjoyed!

[plutoslvr]

Okay so in my last Kevin post, I mentioned I have analysis' on how Kevin isn't a coward and how his trauma still affects him and you guys wanted to read it so here!

Why Kevin Day Isn’t a Coward: 

Essentially this comes down to 3 specific points in the fandom and even in the books since people are very adamant about the whole coward thing. The two things that people (in book and fandom-wise) use to argue that Kevin is a coward are: 

Kevin is still afraid/ doesn’t stand up to Riko 

That he left Jean behind in the nest.

Starting off with the first point. Kevin is still afraid and doesn’t stand up to Riko for the majority of the books. Firstly, we need to understand that Kevin has been abused from an extremely young age in the Nest and was conditioned into thinking that kind of behaviour was normal. And by that I mean specifically Riko’s abuse but before that, it was Coach Moriyama that abused both of them. 

He was stuck in the Nest for over a decade where his only role was “property” the entire time. That was all he would ever be to them and additionally to that, he wasn’t even allowed to be better than Riko. His entire life from the very start has been about exy but it was only after his mothers death where it became life or death. 

During tfc when Neil finds out how Kevin’s hand really broke Wymack says “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it."

He wasn’t raised to have anything else, exy is quite literally his everything, and without it, he has nothing and nobody. In this same scene, Wymack says, “Kevin doesn't talk about his time at Evermore, but I could tell it wasn't the first time Riko or Moriyama laid a hand on him. It was just the first time Kevin was smart enough to pack his bags and walk away.”

We never find out in detail what exactly happened to Kevin in the Nest but in TRK when Neil goes there we can see how deluded and obsessed Riko is with Kevin.

Neil moved up alongside him and regretted it almost immediately. Postcards of faraway cities both foreign and domestic were taped to the walls. Beneath each one were scraps of paper. Kevin's now-familiar scrawl listed dates and explanations for the travels. Most of them were games. Some indicated photo shoots and interviews. Books lined the shelves built into the headboard and Neil knew from skimming the spines they were Kevin's. Kevin was majoring in history for reasons Neil couldn't understand; these dry titles were the sorts of things he would find fascinating. It gave Neil chills to see his space preserved like this. It was like Kevin had gone out on an errand, not that he'd transferred to another team entirely.

Riko is so sure that Kevin is going to come back to him because he’s instituted such fear into him, he doesn’t think Kevin has the strength to stand up to him. Which he does, but people don’t seem to realise you can’t undo over a decade's worth of trauma overnight. 

Anyway, during Neil’s time in the Nest, he’s treated very similarly to how Kevin would be considering he was in his place but also not as harsh because they had to send Neil back to the Foxes inevitably.

"I am going to love hurting you," Riko said, "like I loved hurting Kevin."

What follows this is Riko tying Neil down and torturing him with a switchblade. By the time Neil leaves the Nest he doesn’t remember anything from the experience- he was so traumatised by it that he doesn’t remember it at all. (It also kinda sucks how Neil gets more sympathy for being in the nest for 2 weeks than Kev did for being there for over a decade.)

Putting this into perspective, Kevin went through that for so much longer and doesn’t get nearly enough of the same sympathy Neil did. Neil returned and Kevin got punched for letting him go even though he tried persuading Neil not to. Kevin has always had Neil’s best interest at heart. 

Kevin shook his head and bulled on when Neil started to argue. "The master wants to salvage you. He's going to sign you to the Raven lineup in spring. So long as you keep quiet and keep your head down he won't tell the main family he's found you." "I'm not a Raven," Neil said. "I never will be." "Then run," Kevin insisted, low and frantic. "It's the only way you'll survive."

Kevin was willing to sacrifice the only chance he had to prove his autonomy to the Moriyamas if it meant Neil would be safe. Without Neil, they wouldn’t have enough players to qualify and they wouldn’t be able to play at all. (Again: “But the day Kevin stops playing forever is the day he dies. He has nothing else. He wasn't raised to have anything else. Do you understand? We cannot lose to the Ravens this year. Kevin won't survive it.")

Not to mention the whole “Kevin was silent for an endless minute, then said, "You should be Court." It was barely a whisper, but it cut Neil to the bone. It was a resentful goodbye to the bright future Kevin had wanted for Neil. Kevin recruited Neil because he believed in Neil's potential. He brought him to the Foxes intending to make a star athlete out of him. Despite his condescending attitude and his dismissals of Neil's best efforts Kevin honestly expected Neil to make the national team after graduation.

And even after that, he promised to teach Neil, because at the end of the day, Neil was still Neil and he never gave up on him once.

And Neil understood that being on the run for 8 years was more preferable to the Nest. 

“But all Neil had to do was look at Kevin to know he would have hated that life 

too.”

Sorry I kinda went off track there anyway we can also see how much Riko’s presence still affects Kevin especially in scenes like the Kathy Ferdinand show. 

“Any animosity Neil felt toward Kevin for forcing him onto this show evaporated. He couldn't be angry when Riko was here, not when Riko was to Kevin what Neil's father was to him. Petty anger had nothing on this full-fledged terror.”

Obviously, we all know what a dickhead Neil’s dad was to him so Neil comparing the fear of his father being similar to Kevin’s fear of Riko is so important because it just puts into perspective how afraid Kevin is here face-to-face with his abuser the first time since said abuser permanently disabled him.

But what I don’t think is that Kevin has been standing upto Riko since the start because right after this when they were backstage, Kevin physically stopped Riko from hurting Neil even if it meant getting hurt by Riko again.

A black look twisted Riko's expression into something ugly and unrecognizable. He reached for Neil, but Kevin caught his arm to stop him. Riko slammed his elbow back into Kevin's face without missing a beat.

This scene is probably the best to describe how downright afraid Kevin is of Riko but there are others when Kevin has multiple panic attacks at just the thought of Riko or being in the same vicinity as him and rightfully so! Riko abused him, manipulated him and then took away the only thing he had. And Kevin was just forced to think this was okay. 

And a lot of characters and fans see his fear as cowardice instead of a normal trauma response. This is also because Neil tends to speak out more against Riko than Kevin (You know I get it…) but unlike Neil, Kevin has had direct repercussions towards him for the “mistake” of talking back to Riko which of course makes him hesitant. 

He knows the Moriyamas could drag him back at any moment and he's terrified of that happening.

Which leads to the second bit of “Kevin doesn’t stand up to Riko.” when many times, he has.

The most prominent example is in TRK, just after the foxes lost their first match to the ravens.

“You have fallen so far, Kevin. You should have stayed down and saved us the trouble of forcing you back to your knees." "I'm satisfied," Kevin said. It was the last response any of the Foxes expected from him. They forgot about Riko in favor of gaping at Kevin. "Not with their score or performance, but with their spirit. I was right. There's more than enough here for me to work with."

Kevin chose the foxes over the ravens- over Riko. He doesn’t allow their loss to become something Riko can use against him but instead something to affirm his current standing with them. This is also the first game Andrew played without his meds meaning he’s crashed by the end of it.

Kevin distracted the Ravens from Andrew's unsteadiness by facing them.

Kevin willingly turned to talk to his ex-abuser and his team if it meant Andrew wouldn’t be under fire. Most people only see Kevin and Andrew as Andrew protecting Kevin but Kevin protected Andrew just as much.

And of course we have the whole tattoo removal and the last exy match against the foxes but I need everyone to understand that those are so so so important. Kevin spent the entire series save the last quarter of the last book viewing himself as Riko’s property. Riko refers to him as such and even without Riko near him, his control is still strong over Kevin.

So Kevin removing his tattoo and replacing it with something with a higher hierarchical structure than Riko’s status as king is so detrimental, it’s a turning point for him because he’s viewing himself as his own person now. And Kevin scoring the winning goal brings us full circle because the last time he did that with Riko, he ended up disabled and shunned.

This brings me to my second point about Kevin running away from the nest. Alot of people see Kevin escpaing from the nest and leaving behind Jean as an act of cowardice. This bit gets a bit complicated because in no way shape or form am I trying to compare trauma’s or anything like that.

But to continue on. The ravens had a very strict policy that we got to see during Neil's experience one of which being that no matter how injured they were, they were still expected to show up to practice. The more mistakes they made the more punishment they'd find themselves in. Not showing was practically a death wish.

Now Kevin having his hand fucking broken would mean thay either he doesn't practise and get punished or practise with his fucked up hand and further damage it. If he stayed I wholeheartedly believe he would've died.

He ran away to save his life and that will never be cowardice not once. He didn't go to Wymack immediately when he found out because he knew what kind of target he'd paint on Wymacks back.

"He was trying to protect him," Neil said. "If Coach knew Kevin was his son, he'd have tried to take him from Edgar Allan." Nicky grimaced. "They'd have never let Kevin go." 

He only left when he had no other option. He had nothing left, the one thing he did have was taken away from him, he had no purpose and for once Riko didn't care enough about him to pay attention. And he used that to run.

Leaving Jean behind was something he always regretted, but it was a game of survival. Jean was a gift to the Moriyamas, he was also property to them and couldn't leave. And if the roles were reversed I strongly believe Jean would've done the same thing.

Also Kevin finds a place for him layer with the trojans because he knew that being a fox wouldn't be good for him.

"He isn't safe with us," Kevin said. "I won't give him false hope."

Staying in the nest would've been suicide for Kevin. He's one of the biggest victims in the series but nobody talks about it enough I fear and there's so much to learn about him via context clues etc.

And the saddest thing in my opinion is that Kevin knew was it was like to be loved, he was raised by his mother for a few years before going to the Moriyamas. 

ANYWAY to conclude, I suck at essays and I hope I've worded everything well and what I'm trying to say gets across. Kevin is not a coward, never has been a coward and never will be. He's survived through such a damaging and abusive environment only to get moved to a separate environment where everyone just ridicules his defense tactics and he has no real sense of support. 

His reasons for what he does always stems from the fact the he doesn't want to go back to being under Riko and Coach Moriyamas "care" and that he's afraid. And most of the time it's things he can't shake from the nest.

Like when he pushes the foxes its so they're always at their best and so none of them get hurt or punished for mistakes. He pushed himself the hardest because he doesn't want to directly affect his teammates. 

Or the celebrity persona he was forced to develop.

Or how he makes sure everyone is staying healthy and that they don't force themselves to play when sick or injured because he knows what it's like to be forced to play like that day after day. 

AND IVE GONE OFF COURSE AGAIN yeah I kinda mashed together both analysis' of how Kevin's trauma from the nest affects him and how he's not a coward into one thing AND THIS IS SUPER LONG so if ur still here thank you very much for reading I really hope this makes sense

[electraslight]

people often complain about how Ben seems to have gotten weaker and clumsier from uaf to omniverse, and I get that's an annoying writing decision, but id like to posit a theory.

Ben used to be an athlete, a star one at that, and he used to be a pretty physically fit and healthy guy, visibly being muscular while still having a smaller build. in omniverse, it seems all that muscle is pretty much gone, as he seems to have trouble carrying things, being balanced, and even doing routine workouts that he supposedly regularly did when he was younger. he's even kind of shrunk.

but the thing is: this is proven to extend to his aliens too.

back when Ben was physically fit, wildvine's entire power set was based on grip and strength, using his vines to swing on things or bring enemies or objects closer to him, which required strength.and now he just can't. just like Ben.

which kind of brings us to the question of why Ben is deteriorating in this fashion? he still leads a very active lifestyle, doesn't seem to have any diseases. why's he going so downhill? (the answer to this question writing wise is a different thing, I am trying to rationalize the world he lives in instead of the world the writers do). the answer probably lies in food. in ogs and uaf, Ben had a pretty diverse diet, at least by kid standards. he ate a lot of junk in ogs, but that's just because what else are you gonna eat on a road trip, and as previously stated, af/uaf Ben is an athlete, who seems to actually like a lot of vegetables, eats dinner with his family, only has fast food on patrol. around the time Gwen and Kevin left, though, things changed.

Ben has kind of an obsession with smoothies in omniverse. they're usually the only thing he's seen consuming besides the occasional chili fries, he thinks about them all the time, the comtumellia literally take the form of them. which, yes, flanderization, haha aketchi pancake think blah blah blah, but the thing is, that flanderization kind of recharacterizes his degredation.

Ben had to drop out in uaf, so now his full time job is working for the plumbers, in am environment where everyone expects him to be an ubermensch who never shows a single flaw, and when he messes up in a normal way, he's the stupidest motherfucker alive, even though he's got more experience than anyone combined. plus, he's got to go on patrol all day long, fight a universe ending threat, and then conk out at 3 and wake up at 5 to do it all again. no family dinners, no time to cram an apple in his bag for later, and the only quick easy and cheap thing for him is smoothies. junk food. quick energy boosts. and it seems like he can't stop thinking about them (although I acknowledge what a copout that was lol), can't stop thinking about food. and consuming only liquid processed baby food for all your meals and getting zero hours of sleep isn't good for your body, and the aliens you inhabit are reflections of your person, so you degrade,they degrade, making b grade villains a slog and lifting over 30 pounds even more of one.

not particularly going in an eating disorder direction with this? still tagged it that though just in case. just wanted to share something I don't rlly see people try to come up w an in universe explanation for. I'm personally leaning more toward an ARFID angle, but I'd be interested to see other's takes

[yuri-is-online]

I'm the anon 🙋🏻‍♀️https://www.tumblr.com/yuri-is-online/746778432131694592/so-you-just-threw-this-beautiful-idea-of?source=share

The lore is very interesting! Angst my beloved. Thanks for the explanation 🐢♥️ Should've asked you much earlier.

One of the reasons why I like this AU is because it reminds me of my parents a little bit. I used to talk to my dad about anything and everything, he explained a lot of things about the world. I also love yapping to my mom when she comes back from work. She calls me a radio🥰

Just imagine it with Yutu! His most favourite person is right here! Sure, he has to watch what he says sometimes, but other than that now he gets to finally spend some time with the younger version of his parent 🥺 just sitting on some surface, talking about something, having the cleaning supplies shoved in the face, being forced to help with cleaning 🥺

Man, I have SO many questions. I'll ask them bit by bit to slowly make you brainrot as much as I do MUAHAHA😈

Oh your mother calling you radio is so cute (ㅠ﹏ㅠ) I also used to talk to my dad a lot about things, he had a very interesting life and I enjoy learning about different people. When those people are your parents it's especially interesting.

And head up high annon, your ask got a lot of people talking about Fyuuture kid AU, so even if you trickle in your asks I guarantee my brainrot is about to get so much worse (●´ω｀●)ゞ

Yutu was always curious about what Yuu's life was like when they were younger, but he never really expected to actually see it. It's hard sometimes, he has a whole set of shared memories that you don't have, if he wants to get technical they aren't even with you, he remembers a version of you and a life he is actively trying to prevent from existing.

But that doesn't change the familiarity, your habits and organization aren't much different than he remembers, you still make some of the same jokes. And when he accidentally cracks an old inside one of yours you still laugh, like some small part of you has an instinct that this is something that belongs to you too. What I think Yutu treasures most is just the ability to talk to you and get your advice on things again. He's always wanted to know what your opinion on Crewel's teaching was, what was your favorite class? Did it take you time to get used to cooking here, or did you just take all the new brands and prices in stride? Do you understand the rules of magishift? He never really got a handle on them, were you a part of any clubs? He wants the joy of being able to tell you about his day again and listen to you tell him he did a good job. And when he gets told to clean things he can't even bring himself to be mad. You forget all the little things you miss about a person when they're gone, not that Yutu missed chores or getting bossed around, but getting to see you look relived when he doesn't complain like Grim. Getting to hear you say "thank you" for his help, it means the whole world to him.

When he's forced to tell you who he is, when he sees you reach out and hold him, tell him you are proud of him and sorry he's suffered so much. He's going to break down, I don't think it really hits him how much he need to hear you say "I won't let anything happen to you ever again" until he does. It took time but you're together again, you can protect each other now ♡

also take a yutu coded song heheh

[ghouljams]

Heyyy so I’m obsessed with your cos cowboys au. I’m wondering if we can have some more los vaqueros cowboys either together or separate. Like maybe they have their own farm and breed their animals with prices animals? And maybe they meet a vet tech or boutique owner, or even an employee at Murphy’s

Los Vaqueros operate in a very interesting spot in the Cowboy au where I don't see them having a real drive to move out of Mexico, but they do come to each of the boys weddings. It feels like a very... pop over the border for holidays now that they're closer by situation. The 141 obviously wants to see the Las Almas crew, and they make trips back and forth. (I actually have a Ghost/Goose and Los vaqueros fic I was noodling on for a while)

I think if Alejandro and Rudy were to move up to Texas with the rest of the crew they probably get a major kick out of being cattle ranchers, really sticking true to their name. They'd joke about how the town must be cursed to be tying down ever military man that comes through, seeing as the 141 all got married to sweethearts they found there. Thank God they have each other and don't have to worry about that. Until the local vet makes an appearance and Alejandro and Rudy find themselves seriously questioning if moving here -knowing that the town married off all their friends- was a good idea. Is there something in the water here the just churns out gorgeous darlings? What the hell.

Rudy is a favorite at Murphy's would get haggling down to a science immediately. Uses his charm every time, got Murphy blushing once and they don't speak of it. Alejandro would be good at roping cattle, I don't have an explanation for that except that I want to see him do it. You'd get called to the farm to do a wellness exam on one of their cows after she got out and they'd both hover closer than they should. They keep finding other animals for you to check and by the time you leave the sun has gone down. Alejandro and Rudy try to invite you for dinner but you're starting to get a weird vibe so you politely excuse yourself.

Both of them sit at their kitchen table with a stiff drink(and....) and stare at the wood grain. There has to be something in the water out here. What the hell were they doing all day? Why the fuck do you look like their dreams on a platter? Holy shit they need to get you back to the farm, or find you in town, something.

The other option is they'd meet their darling while on holiday visiting the 141 and just... take you back to Las Almas.... it's fine, they're normal about it.

[nikethestatue]

Chaotic Reading of the Azriel Bonus Chapter

So I meant to do this a while back, but just never got to it. Made my BF read Azriel's bonus chapter and the HOFAS bonus chapter.

(He knows names of characters--Elain, Azriel, Cassian and Nesta. He doesn't know who Gwyn is. He is generally only interested in Cassian, because 'he is strong and handsome' and looks like him. Doesn't exactly know who Rhys is, but knows the name and knows that he is in charge. Also he calls Rhys 'the main wizard'. For some reason he thinks that Fae are wizards. So here you go.)

Recorded reactions:

Oh, he depressed. Why? He didn't like his Solstice gifts?

Cassian is pounding Nesta, isn't he?

Oh, there she is! Who is she? Oh Elain! Hi pretty girl! Emo boi is into her for sure.

Is she into him? Because why? He is kind of boring. Is Cassian a one woman man?

Ohhh, he wants to tap that!

Oh, he really wants to tap that!

What the hell kinda weird gift is this? Babe (this is directed at me), don't give me ear plugs for Christmas.

Eat that pussy bruh!

Is he gonna bite her? he should bite her!

It's a cute gift. He could've gone a little flashier though. Maybe throw in a diamond and a ruby.

Oh, look, she is offering it on a silver platter!

Wait, why is this guy here?

Wait? he is not gonna eat that pussy?

Where. Is. The. Smut?

Bruh is a cock blocker on steroids. Wait, who is Lucien?

Why do we care about Lucien? (I explain briefly)

Blood Duel sounds rad.

Elain is stepping out with the emo Azriel on her mate. (laughs) They sound Australian! (proceeds to say 'mate' a lot in an Australian accent)

Is there gonna be a blood duel?

I feel like there is a lot of teasing in this chapter.

Oh, he is cold. He just went 'this was a mistake?!!" Yea, girls love hearing that.

Who is Mor? An ex? Oh, it's that chick you don't like. I feel you.

Babe (addressing me), this Azriel of yours has no game. This Rhys guy the Grand Wizard just told him to back off and he backed off? Who does that?! That pussy isn't gonna lick itself. Poor Elain. I hope she throws that necklace back in his face. Can I blood duel the shit out of him?

Don't like him at all!

(I correct him and tell him that Rhys is a High Lord not a Grand Wizard (that would be the KKK))

*mutters under his breath* He is acting like a Grand Wizard!

Yeah, be depressed emo boi! Who leaves a lady hanging like that?

Yeah, well, she is better off with Cassian anyway.

Does Elain have special powers? Can she burn him or something? Or Rhys? Rhys needs to mind his own business. Wait, back up. Lucien is in the same house? She doesn't like Lucien, does she? (laughs)

So if they kissed, they'd just do it in the living room for everyone to see? That's bold of them.

This chapter is very frustrating.

Emo boi needs self-esteem classes.

Who the hell is she?

Is he into her too?

Noooo, he is not into her! What bloody memory? Did they fight?

Why is she cutting the ribbon on Christmas?

Is she like a nun?

Wait, he lives in a convent with nuns?

Oh she is a priestess? Of what? Is she a nun?

(Explain to him that she is not a nun)

But he lives with a bunch of nuns?

(Explain the layout of the House of Wind)

He is into Elain, so I guess he doesn't care. Also, this setup is weird. Does he not have an apartment? Wait, he lives with Nesta and Cassian? Like roommates? Or is this a menage? No, it's not a menage, right? Because he wants to eat Elain out--and DIDN'T (kind of yelling at this point)

(Explain it's not a menage. But Nesta wouldn't mind if it were)

Okay, this conversation is boring.

He sings? Like in a band?

Oh, this is like "Kill Bill". Emo Azriel is Pi Mei. He is teaching her to kill people. I can respect that.

...This chapter is weird. Why is this part even here? Is she gonna cut the ribbon?

All I am imagining right now is Gwyneth Paltrow cutting a ribbon with a sword. (laughs)

Nope, she did not cut the ribbon.

(proceeds to offer a lengthy explanation on how difficult it is to cut a ribbon like this. I am forced to listen.)

Azriel can cut a ribbon! I think SJM legit stole this whole training idea from 'Kill Bill'. Didn't the Bride have to cut a ribbon too?

(He is not wrong)

Okay, so..........now he just leaves? What was the point of this whole part with her? I don't get it.

Ahhhhh, my girl! She left that necklace for him to find! Yeah, you go girl, feminist queen!

Not even gonna ask about this snowball fight. Is this like a cutsey thing they do?

Ohh, who is Clotho? Is she like Fate? Why are the seven bells singled out? Does it mean something? She can't talk? Aww she feels bad for him. Well, she shouldn't! (said aggressively)

I feel like this necklace is more than just a necklace. Do they explain it later?

(No)

Okay, so he just gives it away? Oh god. Please don't say Clotho is going to give it to Gwyn!! No. No. That's weird.

So wait, that's it?

This is what you guys have been fighting over for three years? (laughs) That's stupid (he is not wrong) But what are you fighting over? That he should've beaten Rhys's ass?

(no, some say that he is into Gwyn because of the last line)

Like romantically? (asks incredulously) What are you fucking stupid?

(decisively)

As a man, I can tell you he is not into her. If you are gonna give a woman a gift, you don't go through others. You want to see her reaction. You want to see her smile. You want to put it on her. The first part did it right. Not sure what the purpose of the second part was, but I hope he and Elain get some kind of a resolution, but he needs to ask for forgiveness. And so does Rhys. Does Gwyn cut the ribbon at some point?

(Yes)

Good for her. Now she can go and start avenging shit, like the Bride.

Final question, does he eat Elain's pussy at some point?

(No)

She should ask Cassian. He'd do it. And do it well.

The End

[lakesbian]

it's the moment like 4 of you have been waiting for:

i finally rotated pact creature design in my brain enough to post about it. to all the people who sent me asks wanting to hear my thoughts explaining Why Pact Creatures Are So Good this ones for you.

the core of pact's monster design boils down to one very good fact about pact's worldbuilding: in the world of pact, the universe canonically loves a good story. magic literally runs on themes and ideas. subsequently, strong themes aren't the end result of pact's monster design so much as they are the most fundamental aspect of it--meaningful themes and narratives are such a textually important part of how pact monsters work that one bogeyman outright tries to start a conversation with blake by, upon noticing the birdhouse in his soul (tm), asking if birds are important to him.

what really seals the deal on this being fascinating is that pact monsters aren't invented wholesale--a lot of the book hinges on offering its own explanations for preexisting folklore or urban legend. pact takes a variety of common threads in the way cultural myths & monsters are presented, picks out the conceptions with compelling implications, and distills them into one design so thematically coherent and clarifying that it makes you go "ohhh, why aren't All ghosts/dragons/fae like this? this is Exactly What They're Supposed To Be."

like, we all know that ghosts are dead people, and oftentimes the appearance and/or behavior they're written as having is either implicitly or explicitly based on reenactments of their past life/how they died, and sometimes they're depicted as lucid but more often than not they're depicted more like broken or warped remnants of a person, and sometimes they make things colder/give off Bad Emotional Vibes/etc. those are generally true assertions about how ghosts are often culturally presented.

pact takes that and explicitly declares that ghosts are what happens when something so bad happens that an imprint of the resultant misery is left on the fabric of the universe. some ghosts appear horrifying because their appearance is warped and exaggerated beyond what's realistically possible to match how awful whatever happened to them felt. some ghosts are more lucid because their imprint is more recent, or has been strengthened and fed by human attention instead of left to decay. some ghosts are less lucid because they were forgotten. when ghosts make the atmosphere feel awful to be in, that's because the ghost isn't just the imprint of the person, it's an imprint of the awful thing itself. incredibly interesting! it feels so very much like the absolute heart of what ghost stories are about--about the grief and horror of being impacted by the ever-present echo of something terrible, about something so viscerally wretched happening that reality itself cannot forget it, about the emotionally powerful interactions between someone still-living and the memory of someone already long gone.

(pact also gives an aside that, in very rare scenarios, neutral or arguably even positive occasions which leave a sufficiently strong enough impression can also become ghosts. genuinely fascinating expansion.)

& the thing here is that pact does this for creatures like ghosts that are already richly thematic and iconic, but it Also does it for creatures with less obvious theming. how do dragons work? what's pact's underlying explanation for their position as immortal, powerful, regal, fire-breathing* fantasy monsters?

*&, depending on the media, sometimes ice-breathing or poisonous or whatever else

well, you see, dragons are recursive loops. "dragons are recursive loops" is perhaps one of the Top All Time sentences in the entire book, and the delightful thing is that, in addition to sounding excellent, it makes sense.

that's how they generate and spit out so much of whatever their element is. they're snarls. they're ouroboroses. they're something feeding into itself, self-sustaining for thousands of years, drowning anything which threatens it in torrents of whatever the self-feeding element is--fire, sometimes, but it could be poison, or ice, or whatever else, and that's why you've probably heard of ice dragons in addition to classic fire dragons. Dragons Are Recursive Loops. recursiveness is, after all, a form of immortality.

or, like, fae? we all know that faeries are incomprehensibly old/outright immortal Tricky Little Bitches who like to manipulate people while posing in an inhumanly/horrifically beautiful fashion and going "teehee." pact takes that to a fantastically surreal level of extreme artifice, one that's almost grotesque in its dreamlike nature--they have all lived for so very long that, to them, boredom is worse than death, and so they have complicated social games spanning centuries, and speak in the most practiced of misleading wordplay, and perfectly curate their forests so that even the smallest pebble is an intentionally-chosen setpiece for their play. they graduated from handjobs a couple dozens of millennia ago--now they're more into erotic-poetic descriptions of full-body degloving. you will not notice when a faerie steals and replaces your child, because you are very young and stupid compared to them, and playing-pretend at being your child is only the briefest of trifles in their unfathomably long lifespan.

the other good bit is that pact explicitly acknowledges that faeries run on what is colloquially deemed Bullshit--the universe likes a good story, and faeries have gotten very good at telling it a moving story. if a faerie tells a good enough story about having a sword that breaks the laws of physics, then that is what their sword will do. and so the way to combat faeries is not to out-bullshit them--because no one is out-bullshitting a being with thousands of years of bullshitting practice--but to say "no, that's fucking stupid and made up" until their implausibly long sword acts like a sword of that size actually should and shatters on the spot.

& all of these writing decisions feel so naturally truthful to what these creatures are Supposed to be--they're really not wholly new takes, they're a presentation of preexisting ideas in a way that gets why those ideas appeal to people and goes full-throttle on all the most thematically rich or otherwise narratively interesting parts. It's Good Writing. I Like It. you could spend an entire essay breaking down the presentation of literally any single one of pact's creatures, it's that compelling in its reflection and organization of Ideas About Creatures.

[yandereorg]

𝐁𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐜𝐨𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐞

Day one: yan!Bruce Wayne gets rejected on valentine's day

warnings: choking (non-sexual)

"February is nearly always melancholy."

Through the fog of yearning that clouded his brain, bruce saw you, your aura cut through the crowds like a knife, you had captured his attention as you always do, he stalked you throughout the evening, as he did most evenings and mornings and nights. His tie was a perfect match to the stunning pink that clothed your immaculate skin. The rumours would swirl, he even made Damian match, a photo would be published and the three of you looked like a picture perfect family.

Bruce had intended to smooth talk you, letting the rest of the gala become a faint soundtrack, lonely echoes while he enjoyed the honey like sweetness of your conversation, your little quips and eyes rolls, his perfect partner, though not yet. you didn't belong to him quite yet but he had plans. the date was set and you had agreed after a long game of cat and mouse, or bat and bug, it went like this, he invited you to galas, you came, he invited you on a date, you said no.

However, it seemed sweet aphrodite had smiled down upon him or it was the fact you were scrabbling for a valentine's date but it seemed every man you had shown interest in was quickly busted by batman, you knew you had poor taste in men yet this was unreal. So you give into Wayne's offer, though you didn't see it going anywhere, the two of you were in very different places, he had a kid and you weren't ready for that, he also didn't seem like your type but it was a bad look, spending valentines alone, the papers would mock, though they would either way so it truly didn't matter but it felt like it did.

Those prying eyes at the back of your head, bruce, his eyes were so sharp, piercing you like a knife, you were about to turn around, until one large hand blocked your vision entirely, bruce. it felt so unnatural when he was playful and you couldn't help but shudder when you felt him press his lips against the top of your head. when the world was once again seen, Damian was there, a smile born from awkwardness took over your features, and it stayed there, bruce had not come empty handed, he was armed with a necklace which could pay for a year worth of rent in Gotham and the prettiest flowers you had ever seen, Bruce even looked less predatory in the February frosted light of the morning. the date goes well, lots of photos and the laughter will be written about, the uncomfortable feelings quickly melted away as you eased into the moment. Your smile no longer felt awkward, moving with him rather than against, finally you had stopped running.

Eventually, the date ended. and Bruce of course took you to your door, he used these few minutes to discuss a second date but you quickly shut him down, crushing bruce's perfect valentines day, his blood boils, he wishes he could just bring you to the manor and prove he's the man for you, he can give you the world right now but you turn your nose at him. He asks why, trying to keep his composure but your explanation just furthers the fury, you weren't good with kids? Damian believed you had fit in the family perfectly and bruce saw how you had shifted into the role so perfectly yet you still reject him? Hid eyes had gone to those of a beast. Thankfully he left, his anger evident in his walk.

You had forced him, you could have been happy yet you choose to run from the perfect man. He couldn't punish you in conventional ways, but he could freeze you out, blacklist you from the Gotham social scene, stopped inviting you to the galas. Through this had backfired horrifically when he found out you were planning to move. He had to do something now, it would be suspicious but this is Gotham and everyone has a price.

You hated everything, how were you supposed to socialite when everyone wanted nothing to do with you? even you could smell the desperation from the messages you would send. It had been incurably lonely, and you were going to message bruce, knowing his social power had done this but pulling him along would only put off the inevitable, you had to move, a new city would serve you well. the packing you had been doing was interrupted by a knock which had rippled through the house. Gifts; chocolates, teddies, jewellery and a note.

To my dearest doe,

This was never supposed to happen, I'm so sorry to hear of the treatment people have thrown your way. My poor little dove, rumours state that the torment has driven you away from Gotham, this is your home? you mustn't listen to them, you bring a sweetness to the bitterness which Gotham fills up with, I think we should discuss this move and if there is anything I can do to stop this madness.

~Bruce Wayne

You weren't calling. He had been waiting, overridden with smugness, yet you had been stubborn, and Bruce got to hear your pretty voice curse his name, blaming him, the anger clear, he had done this, he was the bitterness which haunted Gotham, even calling him a "bitter old bitch".

He would change your mind. It would be the hard way but it had to been done. so he stood looming over his doe, he lowered himself down and before his hot shaky breath could wake you his had did, wrapping around your neck, your hands began to crawl at the hand pinning you down your eyes open, batman? your voice was broken but he imagined you were asking why and he answered, he loves you, it had been repeated until you had been swept away, his voice had given it away. You knew where you would wake up, to play house with Bruce and you would complete his entirely fucked delusions.

[mimisempai]

We no longer need to hold back

Summary

As Crowley enthusiastically recounts one of his sessions at the planetarium, he is amused to see that Aziraphale isn't listening at all and is staring at his lips.

Notes

50 Types of Kisses - Writing Prompts

Kiss #2: A small, fleeting kiss - which is immediately followed by a passionate, hungry kiss.

On Ao3

Rating G -  951 words

"I have to admit, Angel, even after all these years, humans still manage to surprise me. This afternoon in the planetarium, there was a little boy who couldn't have been more than five years old, and he knew an incredible amount about stars and planets, especially Alpha Centauri! Can you believe it, Alpha Centauri, Angel!"

Crowley was telling the story of his last session in the planetarium, but it didn't take him long to notice that Aziraphale was behaving strangely. Usually when Crowley talked about his 'job', he was all ears, commenting, reacting to the demon's story, but today the angel looked completely distracted, his eyes constantly lingering on the demon's lips.

Crowley had decided to ignore him for a while and had gone on with his story, pretending not to notice.

"You know the planet where his royal smugness and my ex-boss are having their honeymoon."

This time, when he saw that Aziraphale didn't react, he asked, "Angel! Are you listening to me?"

The angel gasped in surprise, then pulled himself together and quickly replied, "Of course I'm listening to you, my dear, you know very well I hang on your every word."

Crowley turned fully to face him and said with amusement, "I rather got the impression that you were more interested in my lips than the words that came out of them."

The Angel blushed slightly and began to stammer, trying to find an explanation.

"Um... I... actually..."

As the angel searched for words, the demon brought his face close and planted a light, quick kiss on the angel's lips, then pulled away before asking cheekily, "Now that I have your undivided attention, do you think..."

He didn't have time to finish his sentence because Aziraphale had cupped his face in his hands and whispered against his lips, "You absolutely have my undivided attention. "

Then he captured the demon's lips in a kiss that was neither light nor quick. He kissed Crowley like someone who had been deprived of food for days and was finally getting his fill. Crowley, though initially surprised by the angel's eagerness, was not to be outdone and wrapped his arms around the angel's neck, returning the kiss with the same passion.

Much later, when they parted to catch their breath, Crowley asked him softly, panting, "Although I find this extremely pleasurable, will you explain to me what was going through your mind, Angel?"

Aziraphale, looking embarrassed, lowered his head and mumbled something unintelligible. 

The demon grabbed the angel's chin and lifted it as he said gently, "Angel, I didn't understand, you'll have to say it again." 

Aziraphale sighed before saying, "It's because of Nina."

Crowley raised an eyebrow.

"Nina?"

"Yes, she told me she preferred it when we were pining for each other, because now we're so glued to each other that she doesn't dare come to the bookshop for fear of running into us kissing between the shelves. It seems Muriel has been talking a bit too much."

Crowley couldn't help but chuckle, but Aziraphale shook his head, "It's not funny, Crowley."

"I think it's pretty funny, actually, but it still doesn't tell me why you were so fixated on my lips that you wouldn't listen to me."

Aziraphale, still a little embarrassed, said, "Well, when you forbid yourself something, it's usually the thing you want most. It's all you can think about. That was the case with... with your lips."

Crowley laughed softly and replied, "At least you see how I've felt all these millennia..."

Aziraphale immediately replied, "You're not the only one who's felt that way, I'll have you know!"

Crowley's expression became serious again as he brushed Aziraphale's hair back, his hand lingering on the angel's cheek. He said softly, "All the more reason why we shouldn't hold back another minute. No matter what others say."

Aziraphale thought for a moment before nodding.

"You're right, I'm sorry, that was really silly."

Crowley shook his head and replied, "No, not silly, just a little too self aware, and then I admit it was cute to see you distracted like that."

Aziraphale replied, "It's all right now, you can get on with your session at the planetarium."

Crowley shook his head again and, moving his face closer to the angel's, replied, "I don't feel like it now, I've found a much more interesting activity."

He closed the distance between them and pressed his lips to the angel's for another kiss, Alpha Centauri and the planetarium far from their minds as it lingered.

"Aziraphale! Crowley! Are you in there? I think so if the door is open!"

Both startled, they separated at Nina's voice and both stood up, quickly putting their clothes back in order before going to meet her.

The owner of the coffee shop wasn't fooled though, and pointing to the coffees and cakes in her hands she exclaimed, "I thought I'd come to make amends because Maggie pointed out that I'd been insensitive earlier, but it turns out I was right!"

Crowley put his arm around Aziraphale's neck and cheekily replied, "Do you have a problem with that? If you're jealous, do the same with Maggie!"

"Idiot, that's called self-control."

Crowley replied, "When you've held back as long as we have, we'll talk again about self-control."

Then, ignoring Nina, he pressed his lips to Aziraphale's for another kiss.

Nina, surprised that for once she hadn't had the last word, placed the coffees and cakes on a piece of furniture, then turned on her heels and gently closed the door behind her as the angel and the demon continued to kiss.

One thing was for sure: life on Whickber Street had never been dull since these two had been together.

_________

Still not beta'd

Still not my native language

Still hoping you'll enjoy this story  🥰

Still thanking you for bearing with me 😝

Ineffable kisses series : here

Ineffable Husbands masterlist : here

[gloryy-vs]

Neteyam x reader or Jake x reader with anxiety???

idk what to title it so i titled it as the medication i used to take idk 😭😭

Xanax

characters: jake x na’vi reader

ratings: soft, concerned jake, soft jake, nice boy jake

||

Antsy, restless, impatient, unsociable were only a few words used to describe you by your parents a fellow Na’vi. Ever since you were a teenager, large social events and stressful situations made you indescribably afraid. It was like an impending doom or weight constantly sat on your back and shoulders when around other people. Which made socializing very difficult.

You we’re continuing your rambling to Jake, trying to explain why you never wanted to go to community meals and hunts, as the stares and numbers of people usually scared you off after only a few minutes. Your mate Jake was in awe, realization slapping him in the face. No wonder when he first arrived you seem to avoid him at all times or just look indescribably restless, cracking your knocks or pulling at your fingers.

“Baby girl, anxiety. That restless feeling?” Jake wrapped an arm around your shoulders.

Your ears went flat, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. “What do you mean? Is that what that is?” Jake grimaced, nodding his head.

“It’s like you feel like you constantly have to do something or…like you’re worried, always looking behind your shoulder.” He explained, fingers caressing your shoulder gently.

It was still a lot to wrap your head around. Na’vi people didn’t really have s good explanation for this as they’re very sociable people who enjoy large families and get together. So to find the odd one out is very astounding.

“We can work it out together. Find better ways to cope, you don’t need to hide from everyone all the time.” Jake said, kissing your forehead.

He was a very comforting figure in your life, always looking for signs of your anxiousness. It even brought those habits to your attention. How you’d bounce your leg impatiently, crack your knuckles and absurd amount of times and play with your hands consistently. Like when it came time to finally go out to your first communal meal in a long time, he could tel you were hesitant about getting any closer to the group. Your breath was erratic, and fingers balled up tensely.

“You got it, baby. Just breathe, just breathe. I’m right here, you tell me when it’s enough. Okay?” He said, his hand resting on your lower back to guide you closer. Your feet moved on their own, instantly finding an empty spot towards the very back, but Jakes hand pushed you in the opposite direction, towards the center.

You whined softly, unwillingly following. He sat you both down, and the Na’vi on either side of you and Jake were surprised to see you out and about. As you squatted down on the log, your leg began to shake, distracting you with its quick movement. Jake was being handed two bowl of season fruits, one for him and one for you. His yellow eyes darted over to you, seeing your habits began again. Your face looked distressed. He placed his free hand on your knee, massaging it harshly to calm you down.

“I’m right here. You’re gonna be okay.” Jake said, his hand remaining on your leg to stop the shaking from starting again. He handed you your share of food, placing his in his lap while he wrapped another arm around you, pulling you closer so your leg pressed against his.

“Let’s eat. Keep your mind off it.” He said, taking a berry out of your bowl and plopping it in his mouth. Letting out a shaking breath, you nodded quickly.

Your hands grabbed at an apple like fruit, sinking your teeth into it while your eyes darted around the room to see if anyone was staring. Nobody seemed interested in you, which calmed your nerves more than anything. The only eyes you could tell were on you was your mates. He smiled softly, “See baby? Calm already.” He joked. He knew better than to assume your anxiety had magically gone away. Jake knew this would be a long process but he’d be there to help you each step.

You laughed, wiping your mouth from all the fruit juices. “Got a laugh out of me in a place like this.” You said pretty confidently.

“I know, it’s my specialty.” He said, ruffling and messing up your braided and beaded hair.

[starlightshadowsworld]

Jackson Jekyll who's very much the mad scientist.

He tests all of his experiments on himself.

Jackson explains it all to Holt. He doesn't even have to simplify his explanation because Holt is just as smart as he is.

And Holt listens, he finds it morbidly fascinating and wants to see what happens.

Sometimes Ghoulia joins them if she's interested.

Jackson always asks and explains the process to Holt because there's always a chance it could affect him.

Jackson doesn't mind using himself for science but he doesn't want to subject Holt to anything he doesn't want to.

Holt's all for it, gives him a thumbs up, signs the consent form.

Sometimes Holt takes Jackson spot in his classes.

Just a "sorry teach, you see Jackson kinda accidentally drank the posion instead of the antidote. He's fine, but he is down for the count."

Jackson writes careful and consise notes on his laptop.

But he's had occasions when he gets so into his ideas that he ends up with notes all over his bedroom wall and ceiling.

Jackson gets good grades but he's always doing something else in class.

He'll finish the Hexemistry project and than pull out his own little project.

Sometimes the class has been evacuated for it but it was fine.

Jackson is Mr Hackington's favourite student.

Given he's the mad science teacher who's been an assistant to many mad scientists, not hard to see why.

Both of them pour over what ifs, what nots and Jackson has derailed whole lessons with questions.

Furiously taking notes and meeting his teachers enthusiasm.

Mr Hackington is a mentor to Jackson in the fine art of being a mad scientist.

He sees great potential in him and thus is very strict on him.

And Jackson, he's always ready for a challenge and having a teacher like Mr Hackington is a treat.

And few things piss Jackson off like people accusing him of malpractice.

He is very passionate about research and experiment ethics, caring for anyone who wishes to participate in his experiments.

Jackson gone on long rants about how the actions of other mad scientists, who have been caught for such things, making everyone else look bad.

He straight up almost walked out of the normie school when he heard they dissect frogs.

Jackson hid his, created a fake and than set his frog free in a local pond.

Saying that, Jackson has no issue threathing to dissect people who mess with him.

He thinks it's funny watching them run as he pulls a scalpel out of nowhere.

Someone stole his lunch once and ended up in the Horrospital.

Jackson has drank posion and complained about the flavour.

Jackson who might be part normie but is just as much a monster as everyone else.

Some would argue he's worse.

[nunalastor]

Tale of the Snow King, Part 2

Charlie's quest to find Alastor in the eternal winters of Hell wasn't as easy as she hoped. Despite being the princess with the ability to manifest fire, the ice of the kingdom resisted her powers. She had been sheltered by her mother when the storms first came, and she never had much time outside before. All of her experience came from Vaggie or Angel, so she decided to search for the overlords to find out what they knew about the winters.

Rosie was the first approached and took particular interest in the princess, because she wanted to know what happened to Alastor as well. So while she should try to stop Charlie from wandering off into the frigid mountains, love for her best friend and wanting to see him safe overrode the desire to shelter the girl. She was tough, she could handle it. However, Rosie and the cannibals could only tell Charlie that though Alastor disappearing wasn't out of character, they would have found his body if he was gone. Susan has the most interesting development, claiming she saw Alastor around V-tower, and while everyone is certain she didn't, she insists her old eyes don't miss a thing.

Despite Charlie's doubts about Alastor being in the entertainment district at all, she decides to sneak in V-tower and take a look around, and comes to find that Alastor was nowhere to be found, but Vox had a very concerning stockpile of images of Alastor and footage of him. Charlie then encounters the Vees themselves, who are frustrated but take the intrusion with grace given the intruder was the princess. Charlie has some opinions about Vox having stalked Alastor for years, but decides to use it to her advantage because surely that means Vox knows where Alastor is and if he is still alive.

Vox does, in fact, know where Alastor is. He recorded the entire interaction between Alastor and "the Snow King." The overlords have suspected Lucifer to be the cause of the winter, but his appearance was drastically different with his hands coated in blue frost, hair white as the snow around him, and often seen dawning a white fur coat, they could just as easily have been wrong. Hence his title as the Snow King. None of Vox's recordings were able to survive the cold long enough to see where the Snow King had taken Alastor, but it was a safe guess to assume he had been taken to the Snow King's palace in the mountains of pride where nobody could reach. If she wants any chance at braving the journey up the mountain, she needs to see Zestial, who lives in the area surrounding the mountains.

Once she reaches Zestial, that is when Charlie is informed about the mirror shards in Alastor's eyes and heart. When the root of evil had tried to reflect the mirror onto heaven, it instead shattered and the pieces were scattered across Hell. Multiple of those shards struck Alastor, and unless they were removed, he would never come home. Zestial's explanation helped to contextualize a lot of Alastor's odder behaviors, and as she believes in redemption, she asks if the same thing happened to the Snow King. Where did he come from? Was he cursed the same way Alastor was? Zestial confirms that though his heart was frozen, it wasn't the same. He says it is best she sees for herself who the Snow King is, and only once she know that will she know how to approach him. However, she must be prepared for the possibility that the Snow King's heart has been frozen for so long he can no longer be restored to who he once was. That thought may cause her unbearable pain, it may stop her from wanting to continue, but she must come to terms with it now, or she won't have the strength to find Alastor.

Charlie didn't understand what Zestial meant. It was sad to hear that the Snow King's heart had been frozen for so long that he could no longer feel any joy or sadness, but why would it hurt her so deeply?

When she finally found the Snow King's palace, and came face to face with her childhood home instead, she understood.

👀

[creative-caramel-coffee]

The Bear || Chapter 3

Pairings: Wanda x R || avengers (platonic) x R

Word count: 4.2K

TW: concussion, throwing up, non-sexual nudity, medical talk, talks of overstimulation and non-verbalism

Summary: You join your uncle tony in the avengers, it wasn’t your original plan but you never planned for your powers either so here you are. Now your at the avengers tower and falling for the girl of your dreams. With a haunting past and interesting abilities can you navigate your way through the challenges of being a hero? After a mission gone wrong and a cruel twist of fate the team starts digging for answers. Can tony keep them from finding out the truth?

PART 1 || PART 2 || PART 3 || PART 4 || PART 5 || PART 6 || PART 7

A/n this chapter is so much longer than the others lol. its also a bit diffrent to what i normally write so… yeah.

While nat laid with you and wanda that night she couldn’t help but wonder why you had frozen, you had looks petrified of the man. Unable to sleep she glanced at wanda and you on the bed before carefully slipping out, wanda would call her if anything went wrong. Plus she told Jarvis to give her updates on when you did stuff and your bio read outs. Sure she was a bit paranoid but she didn’t know how a concussion could effect you or your power and Bruce only knew so much about you.

She made her way down to the lab and stepped in laughing slightly at Tony’s messy hair and five coffee cups on the table. He was slumped over a set of blueprints for something she couldn’t figure out, snoring softly. That would probably explain why he hadn’t come to see you when the three of you returned. Tony often got lost in his work stopping only when he fell asleep, usually more often in his lab than a real bed. He was much better when pepper was here but she was on a business trip so he had fallen back into old habits. What did surprise nat was peter who was also asleep on the small couch in the lab. Tony was usually very strict on making sure peter got enough sleep, seeing too much of himself in the boy. Assuming tony must have fallen asleep before peter as it was the only plausible explanation she nudged him gently with a finger.

After a few more failed attempts he finally woke with a start. Rubbing his eyes nat went to speak, growing slightly annoyed as he held up a hand to stop her.

“Coffee first Romanoff.” He got up to pour some and noticed peter he cursed softly and decided he was best to just leave him. It was the weekend anyway and may knew he was with him. After a few sips of the lukewarm coffee tony gave nat the go ahead to continue.

“I wanted to know more about y/n” she said noticing as Tony’s shoulders tensed momentarily.

“What about her?” He asked feigning disinterest.

“Stark i know theres more to her than she lets on. She froze today. Got knocked out pretty badly.”

“Is she ok?” Tony said worried

“Shes fine wanda and i are looking after her so shell be ok.” Nat said sighing and running a hand through her hair.

“Good.” He said taking another long sip.

“Tony why is the access to her file restricted?” Nat said looking him up and down.

“Why were you trying to access her file Romanoff?” He said gruffly

“I needed to know medical information for Bruce but all that was available was her blood type and some very basic info. Did she not fill out the forms when she became an agent?” Nat asked

“She predates the system Romanoff.” Tony said with a shrug and nat failed to hide her surprise.

“So she’s from before shield?”

“No Shes from before the avengers. Sheila had files on her but” he hesitated slightly.

“What?” Nat said. “Tony spit it out now.”

“She went by a different name for a while. She was with me doing duo missions when i first became Ironman. Then…” he trailed off before clearing his throat “stuff happened and she went by a different name. Now she’s back and with us thats all that matters got it Romanoff. If you want more ask her yourself.”

Nat nodded despite having a thousand more questions than before. What did he means different name? What stuff happened and why didn’t Sheila know more about you?

After a confusing call to fury where he simply said the same as tony, ‘ask y/n’ nat sighed before going back to your room and after a bit she fell asleep.

It was around 2am when you woke up feeling awful. Your stomach hurt and you let out a small whimper. You were confused. Which was to be expected with a concussion this severity. You heard Jarvis but couldn’t figure out what he was saying. Suddenly a low light was turned on and you saw the worried faces of the redheads in your vision. They were asking you something.

“Y/n?” Nat said carefully “whats wrong?” She asked. Wanda looked concerned.

“Baby your scaring me.” Wanda said as you continued to sit there and whine. “Should i get Bruce?” Wanda asked.

“No. Not until we know what goin-“ nat was cut off by you leaning forward as you began to dry heave.

“Aww bubs.” Wanda said rubbing your back and nat shot toward the bedside table where she left the sick bags earlier. Quickly she grabbed one while wanda continued to rub circled between your shoulder blades. Tears pricked your eyes as wanda held the bag under your chin and used her other hand to give soft reassuring squeezes to your bicep. Nat took Wanda’s placed rubbing your back and soon both redheads heard the sound of you finally bringing something up.

“Aww its ok. Your ok. Get it all up. Im here it’s alright.” You paused for a second gulping big breathes, wanda hesitated to take the sick bag away. Thanking whatever higher power was out there she didn’t as you ducked your head and again and heaved some more. Wanda and nat went back to reassuring you.

“It’ll pass sweets its ok your not alone. Natty and I are here. We’re not going anywhere. Take your time baby girl get it all out.” Wanda said.

When you finally stopped throwing up you had tears rolling down your cheeks as nat came back with a damp washcloth and some mouthwash in a cup with an extra cup as well for you to spit it into. You pressed your face into Wanda’s shoulder as she swapped the sick-bag for the things nat was carrying. Nat took the sick-bag seemingly unbothered by the contents and tied it off before slipping from the room to dispose of it properly. Leaving it in a bin in your room was just cruel.

Wanda wrapped one arm around you and holding you close before using the rag to wipe your mouth. Setting it down the tray on the bedside table she helped you use the mouthwash by guiding both cups respectively to your lips before also putting them down. Once she had cleaned you up and resituated you in the bed she shuffled down as well and held you close. Your small whimpers died down and were soon replaced with soft snores as your breathing evened out. After a few moments of admiring your sleeping form the door opened again and nat returned.

“How is she?” Nat asked.

“Better. Still very out of it. Hasn’t said a word. I cleaned her up and she settled back to sleep almost straight away.” Wanda ran her hands thorough your hair tucking stray pieces behind your ear. “Poor things exhausted. Im sorry you have to deal with this nat. If you want i can look after her.”

Nat smiled softly “No way. Shes a two person job right now and someone has to be the adult.” She joked slipping into the bed on your other side. She silently thanked tony for sparing no expenses when it came to the rooms. Which also meant bigger beds. It made sense seeings what she walked in on a week prior to your arrival at the compound.

A week earlier…

Nat wanted to fine tony. Actually nat needed to find tony. Yelena thought it would be funny to dye her suit pink so now she needed a new suit before their next mission which was in a couple days. There as no way she would be seen out in public in a pink suit. She would never live it down. After checking the lab just to find it empty she took the lift to the penthouse. Or the stark master floor as tony annoyingly dubbed it.

She knew he would be here if he wasn’t in the lab or on a mission or in the kitchen getting more coffee. Walking to the bedroom she cracked the door open slightly and had to stifle a chuckle. It was barely mid-afternoon and here in the master bedroom was the mighty tony stark, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist cuddled in bed with pepper, morgan and even peter curled up taking a nap together in the bed. Tonys head rested on peters shoulder as peter laid on his back with an arms around tony. Morgan was pressed into Tony’s back with peppers arms around her daughter as they spooned. Nat took a quick selfie with the cuddle pile before slipping out quietly.

Later that afternoon she tried again to find tony, walking into the lab she asked him in a coy manner what he had been up to earlier. The billionaire went a deep red and shrugged as if it was nothing. Nat texted him the selfie and shrugged as well.

“I’d check that if i was you” she said when his phone buzzed in his pocket. Tony narrowed his eyes and took out his phone.

“Cant lie to me.” She said when his face dropped. He huffed.

“I didn’t lie i just didn’t tell you what i was doing.”

“Sure” nat said “anyways i need a new suit but i wanna know why peter was in bed with you. I get your wife and child … but peter?”

“Nat we were going to tell everyone at the party later but I guess… pepper won’t be too mad if i tell you now.” He took a deep breath and began to speak again “may has been doing more work lately so she and i came to the agreement to make me peters other legal guardian. Pepper was ok with it i mean … come on she loves the kid like her own son. Peters been struggling with may being gone more and he hasn’t had a father figure in a long time. N-not like i see myself a his dad or anything b-but i hope he will one day.” Tony said and nat clapped a hand on his back.

“Tony thats wonderful. My lips are sealed and I’ll let you in on a little secret. I walk quiet as the dead so peter doesn’t know i heard him but he accidentally called you dad when he was on the phone with MJ. He already sees you as his father tony. The boy is just like you and I’m so happy for all of you.” She said. And tony had tears forming in his eyes. He quickly brushed them away making a mental note to address titles with peter later. He wanted Pete to know he was ok if he decided to call him dad. Nat smiled at the man in-front of her once more before patting his back again and leaving. She knew tony liked to process emotions on his own or with his family. And despite the avengers being everyone’s second and sometimes first family, she knew he would appreciate the privacy.

Modern gay … I mean … day … again…

The girls were happy when they woke at about 6am to find you still sleeping. They were glad you were ok and slept some more with out being sick again. Bruce had told them to expect you to be sick more if you had thrown up, although different for everyone it was known that concussions may make you sick, confused, nauseous and so much more.

After a short discussion with nat about a plan for the morning they decided nat would stay with you while wanda went to make you all breakfast. Nat gave Jarvis instructions on lighting settings for the room, telling him to make sure it was bright enough to see but not hurt your head more. She saved the settings under “migraine protocol 1” so that if needed it could be used again in future for yourself or others. After you remained asleep for a while you began to squirm. Nat was sat against the headboard reading a book from her room when she froze. Feeling you nuzzle into her leg seemingly seeking out skin to skin contact. Now you had found it you settled again and went back to being still and quiet. Nat smiled and relaxed. She knew you trusted her and loved her in the same odd motherly way she loved you but it melted her heart to know you sought her out even when asleep.

After a moment of loving gazes at your sleeping form wanda came back. She had two stacks of pancakes and toppings for herself and Natasha and a bowl of chicken broth, an old family recipe from sokovia, for you. Wanda set herself up on the bed and nat scratched your head lightly to bring you around.

“Y/n/n” wanda said softly waking you up. She resisted the urge to coo as you rubbed at your eyes like a child. “Baby you need to eat something.” She said and helped you sit up. You looked confused. You nodded and allowed them to feed you. As you were in no place to be doing much that required any form of brain activity. Wanda brought spoon after spoon to your mouth, blowing on it softly for you each time while nat watched amused and ate her pancakes with syrup. Once you had had enough you stopped letting wanda feed you and she sighed.

“You did such a good job baby girl, I’m proud of you. I’ll save the rest for later ok?” She said and stood to put away the dish on your desk to clean up later as the bedside currently housed her own breakfast. You shuffled on the bed and stood up. Wanda was quickly by your side and nat even stopped eating to check on you.

“Y/n? What are you doing?” Wanda asked concerned.

“Bathroom.” You muttered and wanda led you by the arm to the ensuite.

“Leave the door ajar baby.” She said wanting to be able to make sure you were ok. Normally you would have said no, nowhere near comfortable enough to allow such a thing with a girl who you weren’t even officially with yet and the women who had basically become your mother, but you simply nodded to exhausted to argue and too confused to fully register that the two women would hear you pee.

Wanda guided the door shut and slightly ajar and went to sit with nat on the bed. A couple minutes later she knocked on the wall next to the door.

“You ok in there y/n/n?” She asked, hearing you hum in agreement.

a couple seconds later you came out your hands dripping from washing them at the sink. Wanda chucked and darted inside to grab a small towel. She carefully dried your hands giving each a mini massage while she did and then helped you back to the bed.

“Better?” Nat asked, you nodded slightly more aware. “Good. Because the only reasons you are to leave this bed until we say so are to go to the bathroom and to have a bath.

“Bath?” You asked. Still feeling kind of gross from the mission. Wanda had used her magic to change your clothes but that did nothing for the feeling on your sensitive skin.

“Yes Detka, natty and I are happy to help you bathe. Don’t worry we wont judge and i can use my magic to help you feel comfortable.”

“Ok” you said eyes drooping “can i have a bath after a nap.” You said quietly.

“Sure thing baby girl.” Wanda said planting a kiss on the top of your head.

After a short nap in Wanda’s arms after she had finished eating nat went to run a warm bath. She put in plenty of bubble bath liquid she found hidden in a cupboard in the bathroom. She smiled at the avengers themed bubble bath stuff thinking it was cute. She poured a generous amount in. She knew how to help you feel comfy. The bubbles hid naked skin and she knew this from all the times she herself had needed assistance after missions gone wrong. Heck she had even given wanda the same treatment a few months ago. Wanda and nat had a special relationship. Wanda looked up to nat and nat wanted nothing more than to care for wanda the same as she cared for you.

A moment later wanda walked in with you in her arms. You were still half asleep and nat thought you looked adorable snuggled in her arms. With Wanda’s magic your clothes were replaced with a fluffy red towel and you sighed slightly.

“Baby time to wake up sweets.” Wanda said brushing the hair from your eyes as she situated you in the lukewarm water. The towel was placed by the bath for later as the two women washed your hair. Wanda used a cup to pour the water over your head and used her hand to shield it from your face.

You still looked awfully tired but told them it was ok if they saw you naked. Nat laughed and wanda flushed slightly.

“I trust you and i cant really do much myself.” You said and nat and wanda looked at each other then at you.

“Are you sure?” Nat asked and you nodded with your eyes closed.

“Ok then.” Wanda said. After drying you off and dressing you in fresh pjs, wanda used her magic to change the sheets to something more fresh and the three of you snuggled up again.

You were just about to fall asleep again and wanda was dozing lightly when you felt the nausea return. You pushed it away mentally and fell asleep. In hindsight that was a bad idea. A very bad idea. For no more than ten minutes later did nat look up from her book to see you start gagging still lying down. Nat was quick and precise with her movements. She helped you into an upright position and nudged wanda awake before going to grab you another sick bag. Wanda sat up quickly and began to reassure you as nat wasn’t quick enough with the sick bag. You heaved and half ended up on the sheets and half in the sick-bag as wanda rubbed your back. Tears of shame and embarrassment formed in your eyes as you became more aware. Choking back sobs you apologised between heaves.

“Shh baby no. Its not your fault. Focus on getting it all out. You can do it. We’re here and we love you so much.” The tears began to stop as after another round of gagging and a small amount of bile coming up you finally drew a deep breath and stopped. Repeating the same process form earlier. Nat got rid of the sick bag and you were cleaned up along with the sheets. Wanda had used her magic to clean the sheets making sure you knew it wasn’t a big deal. She told you she would rather you throw up on the bed than hold it back and make yourself worse. She could clean sheets but she couldn’t fix your health if you started to make things worse.

When nat retuned she took up her place on the bed again eying the spot where you had thrown up and wanda explained her magic fixed it.

Settling back into a deep sleep wanda and nat conversed in hushed voiced.

“You know if she keeps throwing up we might have to take her to Bruce.”

“Bruce said it was normal though didn’t he?” Wanda replied

“Yes but …” nat ran a hand through her hair “I’m worried about her. Sure she seems more awake than before but i don’t like seeing her this sick.” Wanda reached over an placed a warm hand on Nat’s arm.

“She’ll be ok natty she’s tough and in a couple days to a couple weeks she’ll be good again.” Wanda reassured and nat smiled softly but still concerned. She had seen her fair share of concussions but yours was particularly bad and despite her training she was worried. As the week wore on you got better and better with their help. You only threw up a few more times, each time worrying the girls more until you finally stopped. Your headache died down and slowly they let you do more and more. Their initial worry about your lack of talking was dismissed by a simple conversation where you explained that when things were too much you reacted in two ways usually. The first you went semi non verbal. Not in the sense you couldn’t speak at all but more that words were too hard and despite being able to say somethings you preferred to speak less or not at all in order to let your brain reboot. It was during these times you explained that sign language was useful and nat was happy because clint had taught her and wanda due to him being deaf. The second was your sketchbook. Drawing helped organise the thoughts in your mind. The mindless activity simulating enough fir you to engage with but not too much to overload your ability to recover. Nat had been sure ever since to make sure your sketchbook was within reach of the bed at all times. Even going as far as to bring some of your art supplies over and put them in the drawers within reach.

So here you were sitting and drawing. The girls knew aside from helping you think you liked to draw for fun as well. It was a hobby and a safe practise you had kept for many years.

Wanda returned to the room to find you drawing while nat snuck glances at the paper. Wanda sat beside you and frowned slightly as you angled the book away from her. There was a simple explanation. Since you met her you had made it your mission to capture her in your art. And despite wanting her approval on the drawings the fear of her hating it or seeing it as creepy was too much. Wanda pouted.

“Will i ever get to see your drawings like nat does?” She asked slightly hurt.

“One day. But not until we become … more …” you trailed off and wanda read your mind as your thoughts were loud not just from overthinking but from the concussion.

“Offical?” She supplied and you groaned.

“Don’t do that.” You whined and wanda smiled apologetically.

“Sorry baby girl cant help it sometimes.” She pressed a kiss to your cheeks which went rosy in the wake of her lips. “If you ask nicely I’m sure i can find a name for what we have.” She said coyly. Nat pretended to be involved in her book but she was watching the budding romance out the corner of her eye.

“W-wands.” You stuttered picking at the hem of your shirt.

“Yes baby girl?” She asked feigning her obviousness to your impending question. You mumbled something she pretended not to hear.

“Speak up baby i cant hear you.” She said in your ear.

“Will you be my girlfriend.” You all but yelled out of frustration. Immedialty you went bright red and buried your face in your hands.

“Aww bubs I’m sorry. Of course i will. Im sorry if i teased you too much.” She said pulling you into her chest as you felt small tears of embarrassment fall down your cheeks. Wanda felt you shaking as you sobbed and she pulled away to hold you at arms length. Carefully she pried your fingers from your face and looked sad at what she sound underneath.

“Love I’m sorry. I know it was too much. But I’m happy my girlfriend is so cute. Even when she cries.” Wanda said kissing your cheek as you hiccuped. “Come here baby.” She said patting your lap as your crawled into her arms. She rocked you slightly as a form of stimming to help you process things. After your soft cries ha stopped she kissed your forehead and pulled you both under the covers. She held you close as you dozed off in her arms.

“Be careful with her wands. She loves you very much but she is still much more fragile than stark.” Nat said with no malice.

“I know. I know and I’m going to do my best to give her everything she could ever want or need.” Wanda said looking at you lovingly.

MASTERLIST

[she-posts-nerdy-stuff]

Analysing my favourite lines from Six of Crows chapter by chapter: Chapter 3

As before, if there are any famous/popular lines missing it’s not because I don’t like them it’s just because I have nothing more to add to the analyses/ideas already present about them in the fandom. And if there are quotes that I haven’t analysed that’s just because I wanted to include it as a favourite quote but didn’t have anything to say explanation-wise.

This is a long chapter, so I’ll see how this goes and maybe split it into two parts.

“It would have been easy to make peace. Kaz could have told Jesper that he knew he wasn’t dirty, reminded him that he'd trusted him enough to make him his only real second in a fight that could have gone badly wrong tonight."

- this is really important for me because it tells us so much about Kaz and Jesper’s relationship in so few words, as well as telling us about the characters individually as well. Kaz trusts Jesper but he can’t tell him that and keeps him at arms length: we understand that Kaz has intimacy and/or commitment issues in both platonic and romantic relationships (since at this point in time the nature of their relationship hasn’t been explored but is presented as platonic, and Kaz had not been specifically stated to have a romantic interest this early on we as the reader make early assumptions). The specificity of the verb “knew” is SO important to me as well, because we have just seen Kaz have Big Bolliger shot in the stomach on the suspicion he was dirty based on a hunch about him going to a different cafe for breakfast but he ‘knows’ with complete certainty that Jesper is absolutely trustworthy. So within barely a paragraph of Kaz’s first POV chapter we understand that Jesper, even if their relationship is complex or rocky, is incredibly important to him and that he has considerable faith in him. The choice to not “make peace”, however, even though “it would have been easy” tells us that Kaz either feels the active need to keep Jesper at a distance or is incapable of expressing the closeness he feels in their friendship. Obviously later we’re able to learn that these are both true in their own way, but the importance of it in this moment is that we are immediately tuned in to Kaz’s fear of emotional connection and invested in understanding why this is, or exactly what he struggled with. Six of Crows is a novel I’d consider to be well balanced between plot-driven and character-driven, but I definitely think that these opening chapters are very character driven so this kind of set up is what pulls us into the book and makes us desperate to keep reading.

“ ‘Another bribe?’

‘I’m a creature of habit’

‘Lucky for you, I am too’ ”

“If you couldn’t walk out by yourself through Ketterdam after dark, then you might as well hang a sign around your neck that read “soft” and lie down for a beating” - I don’t know that I can coherently explain this I just love it; the worldbuilding??? the start of this brilliant presentation of the city as effectively it’s own character, which is one of my favourite things Bardugo does in her descriptions of Ketterdam?? The character implications about Kaz??? The way it ties into his initial judgements of Wylan!???? Perfection

“He realised he felt… Saints, he almost felt hopeful. Maybe he should see a medik” - I just love this so much, it’s so funny and it’s so quintessentially Kaz, I absolutely adore it

“Usually, he liked the quiet. In fact, he would’ve happily sewn most people’s lips shut” - we should talk about this quote more as a fandom, you know, because it’s brilliant and it’s so funny and again it’s just so brilliantly Kaz in the opening pages of his perspective we get so much information about his worldview and understand him to be quite a humorous character despite the initial appearance of him from Inej’s POV. As the novels go on we see the others notice his jokes more often, but in that introductory chapter it was incredibly important that the reader received the same image of Kaz that the Black Tips did, so now we get to be introduced to the closest thing to a real version of Kaz. I think there’s still a prevalent understanding that we’re seeing a mask, but this feels more real than Dirtyhands does… if that makes sense? I could be rambling about nonsense

"He'd heard other members of the gang say she moved like a cat, but he suspected cats would sit attentively at her feet to learn her methods" - this is just such a brilliant description of what Inej can do, it gives us such a clear image without having to overexplain anything and it also introduces us to this idea of Kaz putting her on a pedestal.

' "And what god do you serve, then?"

"Whichever will grant me good fortune"

"I don't think gods work that way,"

"I don't think I care," '

"He didn't see her go, only sensed her absence" - I can't explain it but something about this is so achingly romantic to me.

"But the fact that she could simply erase herself bothered him. She didn't even have a scent. All people carried scents, and those scents told stories -" - It wasn't until someone asked me to make a post about this quote that I really thought about it and realised why it has always stuck out to me. You can see the post on my page if you're interested, but in essence I think it's really important that Kaz struggles with any sense of permanence, so the idea that the one person he cares about more than anything else in the world could vanish so completely, as though she never even existed in the first place, is genuinely frightening - especially to a boy who several times in these novels fears that he has begun to hallucinate. Kaz seems very aware that he's on the edge of something he identifies as going mad, and the concept of visual and auditory hallucinations - Jordie's voice in his head, the panic at thinking he must have hallucinated when he first sees a Tidemaker walk through a wall, the immediate fear of being attacked by a ghost, etc - is something that constantly chases him. Kaz has also spent the last 8 years of his life living in a world that continued on as though his brother never existed, the salt in the wound being that not even Rollins remembers them, so the awareness of that happening to Inej, someone he has come to care for in a way that is entirely new and incredibly overwhelming for him - "there would be no grand funerals for them, no marble markers to remember their names" "What will you leave behind, but corpses to be burned on the Reaper's Barge?" "Out to the Reaper's Barge for burning, like all paupers go" - is a deeply upsetting. This then becomes a parallel with Kaz specifically noting that he can smell soap on her in the Crooked Kingdom Bathroom Scene; in this moment she us cemented so strongly in view and becomes the tether between Kaz and his sanity by continuing to so obstinately exist in a world that doesn't seem to want her to.

"Ghosts, Kaz thought. A boy's fear, but it came with absolute surety. Jordie had come for his vengeance at last" - oh my goodness there's so much to unpack here. I have talked about this a bit before, I think it was in my (very long) post about the potential for Wylan and Kaz to become each other, but it is SO important to look at this quote and remember that when we first read it we haven't the faintest idea who Jordie is or what happened to him. With the ousting of Big Bolliger and all the talk about your gang being your family and that even if you're a liar and a thief, you don't lie to or steal from your own gang, my initial assumption upon reading this was that Jordie had once been in a gang with Kaz, one of them had betrayed the other, and it had ended with Kaz murdering him. But, of course, this is very far from the truth and this tells us so much heart-breaking information about the fact that Kaz blames himself for what happened to them. He wonders later what might have happened to them if he hadn't insisted they go and find the magician that was the first step leading them to Rollins and to Jordie's death, but we never get anything about Kaz blaming himself quite as outrightly as this, the rest of it is usually just implied. So why show us this now? I would argue because this is how Kaz genuinely feels and in the moment he thinks it he is too terrified, confused, and to some extent concerned for his sanity to push the feeling away. Everything we see beyond this point id the construct that he has convinced himself is how he feels: that it's Rollins' fault. Obviously Rollins is at least partially to blame for Jordie's death, but if I may quote myself from a previous post It's the city that kills him, Rollins is just the weapon it chooses. Jordie even says it himself - "The city's winning now, but you'll see who wins in the end". Kaz's genuine belief is that Jordie's death is his fault, but he is in far too fragile a mental state to cope with that truth (and when I say truth I mean the that it's the truth he believes that, not that it;s the truth it's his fualt because he was jsut a nine-year-old who wanted to see a magician that's a more than innocent act and, again, he was nine) so he instead exists within a façade that he has built for himself - even on top of the one he's built for everyone else. We also see a hatred of the feeling towards blaming Jordie later on in the novels, and this is incredibly important. It's almost as if the idea that it's his fault isn't even the truth, but that's a façade to overcome the ultimate horror of seeing Jordie as accountable for it all - "What do you think my forgiveness looks like Jordie?". But ultimately, this is still the warped view of the world instilled in Kaz and so many of the other citizens of Ketterdam, possibly Kerch as a whole, arguably placing the city and its infrastructure as the ultimate villain rather than the tools of it. (Wherein the tools are Rollins and Van Eck).

"The phantom was upon him, and he felt the sharp jab of a needle in his neck. A ghost with a syringe?" - This is just so funny I love it so much I think I've read SOC and CK near to twenty times each now and this still makes me laugh every damn time.

I'm going to split this into two parts from here because this is the splitting point in the chapter and this is already a pretty long post. Thanks so much for reading this, sorry it's been a while for me to post it. I'm loving this line-by-line analysis series already (I know this is only the second post but I'm still excited) but they do take a long time to put together, particularly because at this time I don't currently have an annotated version of either book. Although I am planning to buy fresh copies for the purposes of annotating them when I get the opportunity, I currently don't have my ideas recorded anywhere except this account so whenever I write a post I'm working entirely from memory beyond the actual quotes themselves (and sometimes including them too haha) or even coming up with new ideas as I write. Thanks so much for reading, I hope you enjoyed it, and if you have any questions please keep sending them in I know I haven't responded to any for a little while but I love getting them and I am working through my inbox, if a bit slowly :)