#TW Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified

[inevitablemoment]

“can you hear me?”

Word Count: 400

Warnings: Starvation, overworking, exhaustion, fainting

Fandom: Who’s The Boss?

Pairings: Tony Micelli x Angela Bower

I know, I know. I really dropped the ball. I got a little overambitious, thinking that I could do each prompt every day, but I was wrong. I should’ve learned my lessons from previous challenges that I’ve done.

But, I’m finally writing for Who’s The Boss? It quickly became one of my favorite shows in quarantine, and I’m so excited to finally get content out for it.

Enjoy!

————————

Despite the fact that she had sequestered herself in her bedroom and her back was beginning to hurt, Angela resisted the urge to lay down. It felt like an Olympian feat to keep her eyes open and she thought that she could feel the bags under her eyes.

She didn’t even look up when she heard a knock at the door. “It’s open.”

She heard the door open, keeping her eyes on the papers until she heard the person entering speak up.

“Dinner’s gonna be ready in five,” Tony told her.

“Just put some leftovers aside,” Angela waved off, despite the hollow cramping that was building up in her stomach.

“You said the same thing yesterday,” Tony reminded.

Angela sighed. “Tony, I’ve been stuck on this pitch for days, and I’m finally close to a breakthrough.”

Tony leaned over the side of the bed to look at the mess of papers scattered across it. “The convenience store account? I thought Mona...”

“Well, it turns out that she had a good excuse for not coming into work this week-- the flu,” Angela muttered.

“Angela, you still need a break,” Tony tried to convince her.

Angela shook her head. “No, I’m gonna lose my-- I’m not even hungry right now.”

She was quickly proven to be lying when her stomach growled. Her entire face flushed red.

“Ignore that,” she said.

“Kinda hard to,” he sounded like he was trying to sound teasing, but his concern was more prominent.

He took hold of her hands and tried to help her to her feet.

“C’mon...”

“No, Tony, I’m fine,” Angela tried to argue. “I swear, I’m fine--”

Her words came to a halt as her eyes closed, feeling herself falling forward without any volition of her own. Tony caught her in his arms, his chest tightening up. He could feel her ribs poking through her clothes and the vibrations of her rumbling stomach against him.

“Ange? Can... can ya hear me?” he asked, gently patting her face. “Angela?”

He began to pull her closer into his arms, carrying her bridal-style back towards the bed. She began to come to once her back was to the mattress. She looked up at him, her eyes suddenly looking so big and so small at the same time.

“T-- Tony?” she murmured.

Tony sighed, relieved. “I’ll bring some food up to you. That sound okay?”

Angela nodded. “Yeah.”

[cheeseplatypusandiceskates]

TW: Eating Disorder. “I’m Hungry, Can I Buy You Food?” (misnomer title)

So, I have a habit of restricting until the latest possible moment and then flipping out and binging on whatever is on sight. But sometimes when I restrict, I need help eating food after and need to be with someone and buy them food for it to feel ok for me to eat something. Lately, however, I’ve been tight on money and that’s not been as possible. But due to more recent trauma, I’ve been bingeing or just simply overeating a lot. A lot. And it’s been really, really difficult keeping myself balanced, especially with food. My current binge foods have been ice cream, chili, and trufru fruit bags. I wish I was restricting. I wish I had enough money to buy people food. I know food is just food and that food itself has no emotions, no sentience. But I hate my relationship with food and changing it is so hard???? I’ve known this for years, I’ve been working on this for years, but I’m so damn exhausted fighting (or not fighting and then feeling guilty instead) this every single damn day. I’m so tired of fighting for myself, fighting for recovery, or feeling guilty when I give into impulses. I just want to rest for a bit.

[kawaakari-orchestra]

Pinned post ✨

Hello! This is Jay, and I've decided to make a separate blog for my fan proseka unit, Kawaakari Orchestra of KWKO for short. The reason for this is mostly my brain demanding for organisation, but also the reaction to them was incredible and I definitely want to talk about them more.

KWKO introductory post is here! More info under the cut.

What this blog will post:

- Area Conversations

- Self-introsuctions

- Welcome lines [probably]

- Memes

- Other curious tidbits of information

What this blog will post sometime in the future:

- Birthday/Anniversary Menu lines

- Seasonal/Holiday Menu lines

- Event summaries

- Card story summaries

- KWKO Kizunas

What this blog will not post:

- Full events [link only]

- Full card side stories [link only]

- Any song associations/headcanons (unless I suddenly learn to produce songs)

Please note that this blog will sometimes post content touching on or discussing several potentially upsetting or triggering topics, including the following:

- Child Abuse;

- Bullying;

- Mild violence and injuries, including discussions of eye injury;

- Suicidal ideation, including suicidal behaviour and past suicide attempts;

- Self-harm;

- Eating disorders;

- Substance abuse;

- Near death experiences;

- Chronic Illness, Medical Trauma and internalised, as well as external, ableism.

The aforementioned topics are unlikely to be portrayed in detailed or particularly descriptive manner. Nevertheless, reader discretion is advised.

All of the aforementioned topics will be tagged. The standard format for tagging will be [tw: "insert trigger"], as well as other formats to insure maximum coverage. The topics listed above will also be tagged at the beginning of each card story/event episode/etc when that time comes around.

Please contact me either on this blog or @shiraishi-kanade if you need additional trigger warnings.

Character symbols!

Saitsu Maki - 🦋

Kozaki Karin - 🦊

Shimizu Kairi - 🐚

Ekuro Suzuka - 🪁

Kaedehara Akari - 🍁

Fujisaki Reishi - 🌸

How can I interact with this blog?

- I will answer any asks to the best of my ability, unless the question is an explicit spoiler that will be answered later in the story!

- You can also submit an ask directed to a character (using their assigned emoji), and they will also answer to the best of their ability; however, you have to keep in mind that they would perceive you as a fan/viewer and can avoid your question or answer dishonestly.

- You can also send me your assumptions/theories/otherwise thoughts on plot development or future events; however, those will not be answered. You can specify if you want them posted or not and if yes I will answer with ✨ to say that I see and appreciate your thoughts but am unable to answer in a meaningful way due to inherently spoiler-y nature of the interaction.

- Feel free to send just about any questions, artwork (oh my god??), headcanons, memes, what have you. I greatly appreciate literally everything. Keep in mind that all KWKO characters are minors.

Main story/events when?

- Somewhere after I've done with my finals this year! I don't have the brain capacity to juggle this many things at once.

[ post dividers by @/cafekitsune! ]

[detentiontrack]

okay, I'm interested in your thoughts on sasha developing an ed

OKAY *huge inhale*

(Also TW for mentions of eating disorders, self harm, trauma, and me torturing the blorbos. I’ll put a tw in the tags and I’ll try to not be too graphic but. Just a warning)

SO Sasha Waybright. When you look in the DSM-5-TR, there are sets of symptoms that relate to different eating disorders. Currently the ones documented in the DSM-5-TR are anorexia nervosa, bulimia nervosa, binge eating disorder, PICA, rumination disorder, avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder, other specified feeding or eating disorder, and unspecified feeding and eating disorder. (Fun fact, those last 2 were originally referred to as EDNOS, eating disorder not otherwise specified, but they changed it into OSFED and UFED.) (obviously there are other eating disorders NOT classified in the DSM at this point in time, such as orthorexia but today we’re only talking about a few of the ones in the DSM-5-TR, published in 2022.)

When talking about eating disorders, it’s inevitable to talk about the CAUSES. So eating disorders are SOMETIMES genetic. This doesn’t mean that if your mom has anorexia, you’ll automatically develop anorexia. You might develop bulimia or BED, or you might not develop an ED at all. The second main cause of eating disorders is TRAUMA. this could mean childhood trauma, or trauma that occurs when you’re an adult. Your personality also is a factor, as well as the eating habits you grew up with or stick to as an adult. (For example, chronic dieting may result in BED, bulimia, or orthorexia. Just like growing up with food insecurity has shown to be a huge factor in the development of BED.)

Now, what does this have to do with Sasha Waybright?

First point: Well from the information we got in the Marcy journal, Sasha’s early years were most likely associated with her parents divorce. Her parents most likely had fights and arguments in front of her. And then they divorced when she was still young, and both of them got into committed relationships, leaving Sasha feeling “lost at sea” in her own family (a direct quote from the Marcy journal in Anne’s words). This obviously, is traumatic. So even before amphibia, she still had trauma and insecurity and likely self esteem issues that she covered up with her “tough guy” attitude. She views herself as “the strong one” who needs to never show emotion or let others know she’s struggling. Repressed feelings like this can absolutely cause an ED.

Second point: Amphibia was traumatic. There is no argument about that. Even if the war had never happened, even if Marcy never got killed in front of her and brought back as Darcy, even if she never fell out with Anne, even if she didn’t fall from toad tower, being suddenly trapped in a hostile unfamiliar world, and immediately being arrested and thrown in a cell for a long time, IS trauma. But all that other stuff DID happen, so that’s a whole truck load of trauma.

Third point: Sasha blames herself for everything. She betrayed Anne multiple times, she encouraged Anne to steal the music box, she manipulated and bossed her friends around for years, her betrayal ultimately led to Marcy being killed (which wasn’t her fault, but from her perspective and from what she’s canonically said in the show (see: turning point) it seems like she blames herself. Patients with eating disorders who harbor a lot of self blame, often use ED behaviors as a way to punish themselves, because they believe they deserve it. Sometimes it’s a form of self harm, sometimes it’s the belief that they can redeem themselves if they stay under their calorie goal or achieve that perfect goal weight that’s always moving lower, they can make up for their actions. Sasha already shows signs of punishing herself (like in toad catcher when she works herself into exhaustion after toad tower, completely ignoring her own needs) (or in turning point where she puts herself in danger and just. Accepts her death by the robot instead of fighting it). It’s passive suicidal behavior (or sometimes active in the case of toad tower), but it can also be viewed as self harm and punishing herself.

Fourth point: Sasha Waybright NEEDS control. She feels unstable, unsure, insecure, and distressed when she isn’t in control at all times (re: when she told toadie that she needs to be in control of everything at all times or she’ll “go crazy”). Eating disorders THRIVE on the need for control. Sasha may not be able to control drifting apart from Anne in high school, or facing the weight of what she did in amphibia, or Marcy moving away, or the fact that everything is different and the trio will never be the same, but she CAN control how much she eats, how many calories she consumes, how much she exercises, whether the food stays down, her weight, etc. Sasha needs control so desperately, that she would harm herself and her body just to feel that sense of calm that is associated with being “”good”” at your eating disorder. Some may say that she left that need for control back in amphibia, but I believe that it’s still there. She just doesn’t feel as much of a need to control OTHERS. She could still very well feel the need to control her life, her body, and her eating behaviors.

Fifth point: This is more of a headcanon, but it’s backed up enough in the show that I feel comfortable including it. Sasha feels the need to be “perfect”. She needs to be the strongest person who protects her friends. Before amphiba, she was a skinny blonde cheerleader who was super popular, threw parties, and had control over the whole school (see: point 4). In amphibia, she had to be the best soldier, the strongest and fastest, the best strategist, the winner of everything. Even after her redemption arc, before Anne arrived back in amphibia, she had to be the BEST commander. When you grow up and go through puberty, you gain weight. It’s inevitable. I think when she got home from amphibia, especially because she probably wasn’t exercising as much due to her injuries and not needing to lead a whole army, she gained weight. This caused her to break down completely, and feel like she needed to “fix” the “problem” (I’m not saying gaining weight is a problem to fix, it’s completely natural, especially as a teenager. I’m just saying what I think SHE was thinking) because due to her need for perfectionism, she felt like she needed to have the perfect body and control over everything she could possibly have control over (point 4).

Sixth point: this is entirely a headcanon, but I wanted to include it. Despite the obvious PTSD/CPTSD, I think Sasha also meets the criteria for another mental illness. It’s hard to tell with the limited screen time we had in s3 and because she’s only 13, but if I had to guess, I would say she has a lot of warning signs for borderline personality disorder (I also have a lot of thoughts about this so let me know if y’all want another post about her borderline traits). Criterian 6 in the borderline section of the DSM5-TR is “impulsivity in at least two areas that are potentially self damaging (e.g. spending, sex, substance abuse, reckless driving, and binge eating”. Binge eating is a major factor in bulimia, BED, and sometimes OSFED. Criterian 7 is “chronic feelings of emptiness”. This can also be caused by repetitive trauma, but regardless of its source, chronic feelings of emptiness can absolutely cause binge eating or restricting to get that “thrill” to keep the emptiness at bay.

Soooo what does this all mean? What eating disorder does she have?

So in conclusion, Sasha Waybright has all the perfect factors in the development of an eating disorders. Eating disorders can start at any age, however they most commonly develop in your teen years, so she’s right at the age where you’re most at risk. What eating disorder she specifically has is difficult to tell, because she didn’t show any signs of disturbed eating patterns in the show. The 3 Ds of abnormal psychology, and what makes disordered behavior an actual disorder, are “dysfunction, distress, and deviance” (deviance used here means “abnormal from cultural norms”). She didn’t develop any of those in regards to eating throughout the show, but I’m mainly talking about after amphibia when she’s home again. It would be easy to assume that she would develop anorexia nervosa, I think that’s what most people think when they headcanon her as having an ED, but in my personal opinion, I think she’s more at risk of developing bulimia nervosa. Sasha needs control, yes, but she also frequently LOSES control. She is in control for a while, but then she loses her grip and does something impulsive or dangerous (such as her behavior in barrels warhammer). I think she would start off by restricting food and over exercising, but then she would break and end up binge eating. After the binge eating, she would feel guilt and the need to get rid of the calories she ate, which would lead to purging behaviors. Which would eventually lead into a purging addiction and a nasty binge/purge cycle.

Thank you for reading this far!

(Remember: I am NOT a licensed mental health professional. I’m just insane about Sasha Waybright and use my psychology degree for evil. This is all just my opinion and my perception of Sasha’s character.)

[team-apostasy-agent-jack]

My name is Jack. I am employed in Team Apostasy, run by Eris. I will end Darkrai someday for my suffering. I will end my nightmares.

My Pokémon, in order of left to right, are Hyp, Lumiére, Shiitake, Cumulus, Mimic and Wannacry. I also live with an eevee I’ve had since I was little, but I don’t battle with her. Her name is Anna.

Send me asks if you must. I do not care.

Out of character below cut! Including backstory

Pelipper mail is on, Musharna Mail is OFF, but Musharna MALICE is ON. Unless specified otherwise, magic anon is off.

Backstory details since they don’t fit in character!

Tw death, parental abuse, murder, cult-like structure in team apostasy, alcohol, disordered eating, if I missed any let me know

Jack is a nineteen year old member of Team Apostasy who was cursed by darkrai when he was thirteen for taking offerings intended for it. He has horrible nightmares whenever he sleeps that he can feel pain in and usually end with his death. He’s gained somnophobia from this and requires the help of his Pokémon to sleep. He’s paranoid, sleep deprived and doesn’t eat enough food.

His father wasn’t a very good man, and would yell and hit at everyone else in his household. He ultimately killed Jack’s mother, but the case went unsolved and forgotten. Jack knows who did it but has no proof.

Jack ran away at fifteen. Anna technically belongs to his father, but Jack refused to leave her behind and took her with him.

He lost friends by rambling and raving about the beast that is darkrai constantly, becoming isolated and vulnerable to indoctrination into team apostasy.

He used to drink his worries away until he lost his musharna, lucky.

He’s become increasingly dependent on his Boss, Eris, and has replaced his father in his mind with him. He looks up to Eris as a role model and refuses any criticism of him, holding him up on a pedestal higher than anyone else before.

Hello! This blog is run by @bl0ckbuilder and follows come from that account. My good pal @pluto-is-a-planettt and their Team Apostasy AU have been plaguing my poor poor brain since they introduced it to me so I made a blog about it. Or more specifically an OC.

Plus, bonus, aforementioned Pluto did the pfp art for this!! Omg I love it so much their art is fuckin’ awesome-

[vampirethin27]

Blog Intro

⚠️TW!!: This Is An ED Blog. I'm Not Here To Be Harmful, Just Finding A Community, Scroll or Block If Uninterested⚠️

Hi! My name is Elliott, I'm 19 (it's my birthday as of posting this 🥳🎂🎉), and I've had disordered eating patterns for about a decade now and have been on ana blogs and things of the sort for like 7 years. I've had the blogs, the journals, the calculators, the screenshots as wallpapers, all the fun stuff

Name: Elliott (Lia/Eli)

Age: 19

Birthday: February 3rd

Gender: Genderfluid

Pronouns: Varies Between She/He/It, Usually Present Semi-Feminine No Matter What Though

Sexuality: Bisexual

Mental Diagnoses: Anorexia, Bipolar, Anxiety, Autism (😎), and probably PTSD, I haven't checked but reputable sources keep telling me to

I also have POTS (Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome), which is a chronic illness that basically spikes me with adrenaline when a positional change happens, like rolling from my left to right side in bed or going from sitting down to stand up, and other stuff like my vision blurs and I run out of breath easily. Look it up, there's so many random fucking things that can be POTS and you'd never know it it's insane

Anywho, now for the actual fun stuff!

My Stats

Weight

Height: 156.6cm

HW: 142lbs

SW: 105lbs

CW: 99lbs

LW: 97lbs

GW: 95lbs

UGW: 90lbs

Measurements

Thigh (R): 52cm (20.4in)

Thigh (L): 51.5cm (20.25in)

Hips: 82cm (32.25in)

Waist: 64cm (25in)

Underbust: 72cm (28in)

Bust: 83.5cm (32.75in)

Overbust: 80cm (31.25in)

Wrist (L): 15cm (5.75in)

Wrist (R): 15cm (5.75in)

Bicep (L): 24.5cm (9.5in)

Bicep (R) 26cm (10in)

My Current Favorite Thinspo

KEY

(for those of you who are maybe new to ED Tumblr and aren't sure what I'm saying)

Ana: Anorexia Nervosa

Mia: Bulimia Nervosa

Coe: Compulsive Over-eating disorder

Ednos: Eating disorder not otherwise specified

BED: Binge eating disorder.

ED: Eating disorder

SI: Self injury

AnaMia: Having both anorexia and bulimia

Pro-ana: This term infers being pro-active in the ED community, usually online. It does not mean promote ED's in any way, shape or form.

Thinspiration: Collection of thin looking peoples pictures, used to inspire those with ana/mia. Can also be text scenarios/imagines

Anorectic/Anarexyc: One who has anorexia. There's a billion variants of it

CW: Current weight.

HW: Highest weight.

LW: Lowest weight.

GW: Goal Weight.

SW: Starting weight.

GW1: First goal weight. (implying a GW2, etc.)

UGW: "Ultimate"/Final goal weight.

IP: In patient.

BMI: Body Mass Index.

And Memes <33

I can't fit more photos than this, but that's the rundown of me!

I'm currently on my way to eat dumplings, sushi, and sashimi for my birthday dinner because I have a sushi obsession.

It has resulted in an adjacent raw fish obsession because... well, here's a list of things that make my POTS symptoms worse (food wise)

• spice

• sugar

• gluten

• dairy

• eating too many carbs in a day

• eating too fast

• eating too much

• not eating often enough

So I avoid most things, specifically bread when it's unnecessary and dairy all the time

Also, last thing I swear, EGGS AREN'T DAIRY

THEY'RE NOT

WHO THE FUCK PUT EGGS IN THE DAIRY SECTION???

Hydrate or Diedrate, have a good my birthday <33

[factorialsotherfandoms]

For the first time I complete a challenge! Specifically @whumpcember Everything in here is a QSMP fic, some of them are in my xcom au. Majority is Tazercraft, there's also some Philza&Missa QPPs, Philza/&Forever (read as you wish), various combos of Brazilians, Foolish&Leo, BBH angst, and even a tiny bit of Pac angst set in Purgatory! Oh and a mini study of Jaiden in purgatory I love that one.

It's not even all the horrible times I wrote this month, just the 31 for this

List below cut. With different summaries to the actual fic ones lol. Do double check TWs on the fic tags, the endings are happy or at least hopeful UNLESS specified otherwise. I've not double checked the links >.<. They're all fun in their own ways, but I bolded some of my favourites.

The Final Day Before The End . Pac looks after the other members of Soulfire on the last day of purgatory. T rated, prompt: fever

Bury Me In Satin . Forever is suffering with the Shadow Virus. He's looked after. M rated, tw: fever vomiting near death experiences. prompt: sickness

Faith and Trust on Torment Island . Forever gets to learn about Philza's birdhouse times. T rated, tw: dissociation & derealisation. prompt: hypothermia

Bloody Fingers . 100 words on the fact BBH is dying and hiding it. M rated, tw: majory character sickness, no happy ending. prompt: hidden injury

Live Like You're Dying . Missa does his best to protect Richarlyson from an errant Code, and uses his body to do so. M rated, tw: temporary character death, major character injury, altered respawn mechanics, mercy killing. prompt: impaled

Monsters in the Bedroom . Ramón, and nightmares. T rated, tw: implied child abuse, character dies but its only a dream. Prompt: nightmares

Mistakes Were Made . Pac goes to bug Forever on Richarlyson's command, and finds him passing out. He and Mike look after him. T rated, tw: disordered eating. Prompt: fainting

Duerme Pequeño . XCOM AU. Trump is alone in the dark, until someone comes for him. (Max and A1 are also here). T rated, tw: child abuse & neglect (not by QSMP characters). Prompt: isolation

Salvation . Quackity drowns and has his memory ripped away. T rated, tw: drowning, torture, memory loss, bad ending. Prompt: brainwashing

The Other Piece Of Me . Mike wakes up in the Order hospital. G rated, tw: hospitals. Prompt: Freezing

Sick Day . FitPac sickfic. The most generic sickfic in the world. There is soup. G rated, no tw, prompt: illness

The Beaten and The Damned . Roier has a horrible time now left alone on the island. Kidnapping is almost pleasant for him. M rated, tw: kidnapping, referenced canon character death, open ending (bad but there's /some/ hope). prompt: Touch Starved

Sensory . Cellbit gets chained up and blindfolded. Experience his time and rescue through his other senses! T rated, tw: kidnapping, injury. Prompt: restraints

Blessed Be The Martyr . Character study of Jaiden in Purgatory. M rated, tw: canonical temporary character death. Prompt: Cornered

Vision, Reality, Diety, Friend . Tallulah and Chayanne wake Fit up because something is wrong with Philza. The visions are proven more terrifying and tangeable than they seemed. T rated, tw: burns, unreality, mindfuckery, vomiting, breathing problems, serious injuries with no access to proper medical care. Prompt: Hallucinations

Remind Me How It Feels To Hear Your Voice. XCOM au. Mike has his mind ripped apart by a Cucurucho with psychic powers. He is rescued, and reunited with people. M rated, tw: kidnapping, torture, psychic violence, actual violence, serious injuries, hospitals, imprisonment, self-sacrifice, self-neglect, memory fuckery. Prompt: Head Injury

Book, Blackstone, Blaze Rod, Quartress . Philza's PoV of 15. Another Diety contacts Philza. She proves herself real, but people get hurt. T rated, tw: burns, unreality, mindfuckery, vomiting, breathing problems, serious injuries with no access to proper medical care. Prompt: Fire

Like Any Other Tuesday . Lich!Missa AU. 100 words on Missa and pain. G rated, no tw. prompt: Chronic Pain

Melodies Stuck Inside Your Head . XCOM AU Forever and Cellbit watch as a kidnapped Mike telepathically contacts Pac while in grevious trouble. Alt PoV of part of chapter 1 of 'Remind Me How It Fells To Hear Your Voice'. T rated, tw: assumed character death (he's okay but the grief is heavy). Prompt: Exhaustion

And The World Burns Turqouise . Mike tries to wake up while asleep. T rated, tw: nausea, hallucinations, aftermath of drug use (kelp cocaine). Prompt: drugs

Our Memory Will Be My Lullaby . XCOM AU. Felps get a call at 1am. It's Pac, under attack, with vital information, and having just watched Mike be kidnapped. T rated, tw: Open Ending (proven fine in another fic but this fic ends bad), offscreen kidnapping. Prompt: tears

Oh, Won't You Sing Me To Sleep Now? . XCOM AU. Pac's PoV of 21, plus some after. M rated, tw: Open Ending (proven fine in another fic but this fic ends bad), kidnapping, panic attacks, suicidal thoughts, depression, blood, broken bones. prompt: Sacrifice

On A Bed Of Roses . An alt end to Forever's possession arc, in which he dies but Rose lets him respawn unpossessed. Philza has a horrific time. Read just chapter 1 for a bad ending, 2 as well for a good one. M rated, tw: temporary character death, self-harm, grief. Prompt: Begging

Orange Juice and Cookies. Forever does a silly and gets work. Cellbit looks after him, but is frustrated about it. t rated, TW: blood, gunshot wounds, ill-advised medical techniques, everyone's being a bit of a bitch but domestic too. Prompt: bullet

Hold The Last Burning Ember. XCOM AU. Felps has been rescued but is in a coma after brain surgery, Forever tries to look after him. All of the other Brazilians are missing, and Forever loves them as family but has no idea if they're safe. M rated, tw: heavy grief, mental health issues, depression, major character injury, offscreen torture, linear narrative split by non-linear flashback sequence, unethical military practices, lack of proper medical care due to fic circumstances. Prompt: Coma

You're Okay, You're Alright . Philza gets a new poison which prevents him healing, and fully expects to die. He is saved, however. no respawn au. M rated, tw: blood, needles, major character injury, hospitals (order med bay), implied temporary character death. Prompt: Collapse

Despite All This Waiting Tragedy . XCOM AU. A civilian rescue mission goes horribly wrong. Everyone gets out alive, but it's not pretty. M rated, tw: blood, explosions, nausea, head injuries, major character injury, near death experiences, hospitals, possession, lack of proper medical care due to not having access. Prompt: Bleeding Out

All Ye Who Enter Here . 100 words of purgatory vibes. G rated, no warnings. Prompt: abandoned

29. 'Til Hell Starts To Freeze . XCOM AU. SpiderBit meet cute in which Roier is an assassin and Cellbit is undercover in the (au version of) the Federation who killed his mark. But got a little stabbed in the process. T rated, tw: blood, murder. Prompt: Stabbed

30. Butterfly and Pa . Foolish can't find Leo. Turns out she's sick, and delerious, and her fever made her wander. T rated, tw: sick child. Prompt: delerium

31. Can I Do Anything When I'm Also Missing? . Pac and Mike as homeless teenagers, having just finished picking pockets to get money for the night. Pac is sick, and Mike steals medicine, and mostly just looks after him. T rated, tw: homelessness, sick child, violence to child, theft. Prompt: homelessness

[pekoehoneyncream]

Meeting a Magpie

Price & OC

Can be read as pre-relationship Price/OC

Captain Price isn't pleased by how casual the base's newest Specialist is with her health.

Words: 3400~

Tw: Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified. (sfw)

So, I've already posted this on ao3 under a different name, but I thought I'd also put it here to have all my cod stuff in one place. Fun Fact: The working title for this story in my docs was "an editing disorder".

Enjoy!

Magpie approached who she hoped was Captain Price with a friendly smile. “Hiya, I'm Magpie. I think you guys requisitioned me.”

 

The man crossed his arms, running an impersonal assessing gaze over her, “That we did. You’re the Intel Specialist?”

 

“That's me!” she chirped, “You’re Captain Price?”

 

“I am.” He confirmed, filling Magpie with relief. He’d resembled the photo of him in her transfer documents enough that she’d been almost positive she’d stopped the right man, his beard of choice was pretty distinctive, but it was always better to double check.  

 

Captain Price looked at her with more cordial eyes and noted how worn-down she seemed, “You look more exhausted than me. How long have you been here?”

 

“Total?” glancing up at the sky, she gave it some thought, “Well, I got on base at eight-hundred and it's-” she glanced at her watch, “ten-forty-seven now, so not long at all!” She laughed. The edges of her cheer stained by fatigue.

 

Price raised an eyebrow, then actually processed what she'd said.  “You’ve been out here since eight in the morning?” He exclaimed, “That’s almost three damn hours! Let’s get you inside.”

 

“Do you think we could maybe hit the mess?” She asked as he turned to lead her inside.

 

Scanning his card to get into the building, Price held open the door for Magpie and eyed her as she passed by, “It'll be the first stop, you need to eat. You look like a walking skeleton.”

 

“Me?” Magpie gasped with mock offense. “I am a delight, sir! Dior is busting down my door, Chanel is on their knees.”

 

The door fell shut behind them and he scoffed his disbelief, though he internally found her dramatics amusing, “You’re more skin and bones than a damn cat. You need to eat. Unless you're allergic to food or something?”

 

She tried for a smile, but there was a wince around her eyes that she couldn't hide at the reminder of her strange relationship to food, “No, sir!” 

 

Catching the wince, Price’s lips pressed into a thin line, his gaze sharpening. “Have issues with food, recruit?”

 

Magpie wobbled her head a bit, “Not ‘issues’ per se, no.” She hedged.

 

Eyes narrowing, Price frowned, sensing this might be a bigger problem than she was letting on. “Then why do you look like you've been missing meals?”

 

“I have a... high metabolism?” She excused, flashing a disarming smile up at the Captain.

 

The Captain’s look of skepticism couldn’t get any stronger. “That is absolutely the worst excuse I’ve ever heard.” He deadpanned.

 

“It can't be. You're the Captain of the One-Four-One, I’m sure you’ve heard so much worse.” She tried to deflect with a joke, but Price wasn’t willing to go along with her distractions.

 

He stopped walking and stepped in close, deliberately looming over her. “Why won’t you tell me the truth?”

 

“Oh c'mon, it’s nothing bad.” Magpie tried to wave away the issue, “Nothing for you to worry about.”

 

His voice was gruff and demanding, his eyes locked “I’m your superior. I have the right to know. Spill the damn secret.”

 

“Oh, but it's so dumb. I'm surprised it's not mentioned in my file somewhere, honestly. Damn thing feels like the brass' diary sometimes,” she rambled, her hands waving and her gaze darting.

 

Building aggravation yanked a groan from Price, he was tired and needed her to answer him plainly. “Stop talking around it and tell me the damn issue.”

 

“There's no issue! I eat!” Magpie exclaimed, throwing her hands out to emphasize her claim.

 

“Eating the minimum ain’t enough.” Price flatly informed her, “You look like a breeze could carry you to the next county.”

 

“Ugh, fine. It’s just—” She hesitated and her voice dropped to an awkward mumble. “Food just doesn’t look good to me, okay?” She felt a flush start to rise in her cheeks, she was fully aware this could be seen as a juvenile way of thinking.

 

Dumbfounded, Price stared at her, then ran an exhausted hand over his face. “You— you don’t like looking at food?”

 

Twisting away from his scrutiny, Magpie shrugged, “No. It’s not looking at it. Food’s just not... appetizing.”

 

Stepping around, he forced her to engage with him, “Why are you making this so damn difficult? It’s a simple question. If food ain’t appetizing, then what are you even running on?”

 

“I... drink a lot of juice and smoothies and stuff.” She tried to excuse, ducking his gaze.

 

Hooking a guiding finger under her chin, Price nudged her into looking up at him. “And how long have you been doing this?”

 

“Uhhhh, does my enlistment date pop up somewhere in my file?” She gave him a wince of a smile.

 

Incredulity filled his eyes, “So you’re telling me you haven't been eating properly since—” He cut himself off, realization truly dawning. “You’ve been doing this since you joined?”

 

“Thereabouts,” she said with a chirp, trying to make it seem less concerning.

 

Rubbing at his face with both hands, he groaned. He didn’t want to believe what he was hearing. “And you call this nothing? Jesus Christ.” He looked back at her. “So, you haven’t eaten a proper damn meal in who knows how long?”

 

“No, no, no,” she hurried to assure him, bouncing her hands in a belaying gesture, “I eat, I do! It’s just—” she grimaced, looking down and pulling away from him again. “I just gotta kinda... force myself.”

 

Price propped one hand on his hip, leaving the other available to chop through the air and emphasize his words, “You do realize that eating just a few bites of food a day won’t keep your body nourished.” His tone softened slightly with some level of concern, “Why do you have to force yourself into eating?”

 

Magpie took in a long bracing inhale, “I guess it's some kinda psychological something. But when I'm not at home, or I don’t feel at home—” there was a heavy undertone of when I don’t feel safe  in her voice “—food all looks kinda... suspicious to me? I know it doesn’t make sense, but food all looks like it’s- Not dangerous, that’s- I know it’s not dangerous. I just-  Wow. I've never had to explain it like this before. People don’t ask. I dunno how to make this make sense to you.” She pulled fretfully at her fingers, flustered by him watching her struggle at getting her words to cooperate.

 

Watching her fidget, Price kept his gaze calm and his voice firm, “So, you refuse to actually eat a meal because food looks unsafe while you’re out of a familiar environment? Am I understanding this correctly?”

 

“Uhhhh, yeah,” She gave an apologetic smile. “That’s the gist, sir.”

 

Honestly bewildered by her story, Price threaded his free hand through his hair to tug at the back, trying to ground himself, “Love, not being able to eat ain’t something to brush off. At this point, it sounds like a goddamn disorder.”

 

“No, no.” She hastened, “You're not understanding me. I do eat!” 

 

He stared her down, his expression speaking volumes. “You said, it’s practically impossible for you to eat a damn meal while you’re on base or even outside a damn space you consider familiar.”

 

“But I do eat!” Magpie’s voice was practically a pout at this point, “I said so! I'm good at forcing it. I don't even gag it back up anymo—” she cut herself off abruptly. She hadn’t meant to say that. That was private information.

 

Price's eyes widened, then narrowed in realization. “Wait a goddamn minute...” He stepped in close again, backing her up against the wall. “Say that last bit again, love.”

 

She stared at him for a moment, weighing her odds, “No, Sir?” She tried with a smile.

 

During any other conversation, he probably would’ve found that little grin charming. Instead, he stared her dead in the eyes, stern. “Say the last sentence again. You know the exact sentence I mean. Don’t bullshit me.”

 

“Uh, I do eat?” She backtracked.

 

His eye spasmed, “You know damn well that’s not the sentence I’m talkin’ about.” He leaned closer, “It sounded to me like you were saying ‘I don’t even puke it back up anymore’?”

 

“...Well I don’t.” She muttered petulantly. 

 

Crossing both arms over his chest, he raised a brow and leaned back to really stare her down, “So you’re seriously telling me, if I took you to the mess right now, and placed a full plate of mashed potatoes, chicken, and vegetables with a glass of chocolate milk for after, you would not throw it all back up? You could sit there and actually eat all of it, no problem?”

 

“I wouldn’t throw up,” She nods with confidence. Saying nothing of eating all of it with no problems, that was an entirely separate kettle of fish.

 

A deep sigh rocked Price’s chest, “Yeah, that I doubt. You’ve gone too long without eating normally, love. Sounds like you’ve been relying on smoothies and juice to keep you feeling full.” His words were gruff and blunt. “Your body’s not used to actual hard food, it would probably reject regular full meals at this point-”

 

“Sir, please.” Magpie interjected, “You’ve misunderstood me. I had a meal yesterday- Today even. I do eat. I just... have a...” she hesitated, her voice and gaze dropping. She absurdly felt more ashamed to say this than anything else she’d said this whole awful confrontation. “I just have a hard time.” She mumbled, letting her words run together. Keeping her gaze pinned on the Captain’s cleanly laced boots. 

 

Price was silent, the scales weighing and balancing behind his eyes as he assessed her, “Let’s keep going and assume that I believe ya.” There was a short thought filled pause. “You say you have a ‘hard time’ eating? Explain to me again what that means.”

 

Taking a deep breath, she drew her scattered thoughts together, determined to get him to understand this time, “People don’t ask me about this. I dunno how to...” She glanced up, as though the path to making this sound normal would reveal itself from amongst the dingy water-stained ceiling tiles, “When I'm not at home—” she cut herself off to mutter scathingly, “What am I saying? I haven’t had a home in years.” She shook herself free of that thought and spoke up again. “Okay! When I don’t feel… at home?” Her voice lilted up. It would have been more honest to say ‘when I don't feel safe’ but that still felt too babyish to admit. “Food all tends to feel suspicious to me. It doesn’t look edible. So, I have to force myself if I wanna eat. But I do eat! I promise I do. It’s just that drinks are easier. Drinks taste nice.”

 

Though he was listening carefully as she explained, his expression was unreadable. His arms still crossed over his chest as he took her in, determined to give understanding her strange reality his best shot. 

 

"So, food, if it’s not a smoothie or juice, looks inedible to you, and your solution is to force yourself to eat," Price summarized. He sounded to be analyzing the situation. Trying to come up with a strategy. "Do you mean you have to force yourself not to throw it up? Or to actually stomach it?" He tried to clarify.

 

"Uh... both?" Magpie answered. "One after the other usually. Force myself to eat, then force it to stay down." She tried to stretch her awkward grin into a placating smile. This was an odd conversation for her, no one had ever cared to question this. She’d before never felt so warmed by an interrogation.

 

Price wasn’t above admitting to himself that her dimpled smiles were endearing, but he was still horrified by what she was saying, "You- you mean to tell me you force yourself to eat full meals, and when your body rejects them, you force yourself not to throw up by sheer will alone?"

 

"Got it in one, Captain!" Magpie shook pointed fingers at the Captain and bounced a bit on her toes, trying to find an outlet for her flourishing unease.

 

Price looked away, searching the empty hall for someone to sympathize with him, then back at Magpie, feeling baffled. "Your goddamn body’s running on nothing, love. You can’t be fully nourished. You’re running on fumes."

 

"No," Magpie draws the word out with a whine in her voice, "You're taking this out of proportion. I do eat, that's what I've been saying. I just like drinks, whereas I don't like food."

 

A few deep cleansing breaths calmed him enough to continue, "Drinks can be good for ya, yes. But food should still be the main damn part of ya diet, love. But you’re telling me, you do eat? You don’t only rely on drinks?" Price tried to level with her.

 

"Yes, sir!" Magpie chirped her affirmation.

 

"And how long does it take you to force a full meal down? Not a snack. An actual full, proper meal." His expression was steely, he was getting impatient. He just wanted Magpie to be honest with him.

 

Oh, fuck. Panic blared through Magpie's mind. “Uhm…” She scrambled to estimate how long a normal person took to finish a meal. She had no real clue, but she was certain it had to be less than her hour average. She decided to lowball it, just in case. “Twenty minutes,” She declared with all the confidence she could muster, lifting her chin.

 

A doubtful brow crept towards Price’s hairline, "Twenty minutes… and how long does it take for your body to actually accept a meal and stop trying to reject the damn thing?" Price waved an aggravated hand around, the other finding its home on his hip again, "You seem to have a hard time understanding that what's going on with you is a problem. A big goddamned problem."

 

"Well, I know that,” Magpie allowed, “but I'm handling it. I’ve got it handled, in fact."

 

Price tousled hair that he could feel rapidly greying, exasperated. "No, you damn don’t. How in the hell is force-feedin’ yourself, and forcing your body to not throw it back up, because you think food’s ‘suspicious’ or ‘not edible,’ handling it?"

 

"Well, yeah, but it’s not like I can help it.” Magpie was starting to feel a bit annoyed by the Captains persistence, “And pills make it worse."

 

The hard shake of his head belied the fact that Price felt that he was on the verge of losing patience, or possibly bursting from frustration, “Explain to me, how in the bloody hell pills could possibly make it worse?”

 

“Well I went to the medics, right? Back in Basic when this all started-.” Magpie looked to Price to make sure he was following, continuing at his nod, “and they gave me 'appetite stimulating' pills or whatever,” She added an impressively scathing flare to her finger-quotes, “but they just made it worse. It made me hungrier, yeah, but I still couldn't actually stomach food, so they switched to food additives, but actually having something added to my food just like... validated my suspicions, I guess, and made my body reject the food faster.” Magpie spread her hands in a helpless ‘There it is’ gesture, looking to Price for his judgment.

 

Unreacting for a moment, Price stood, stunned to silence.  He was now seriously wondering how in the hell she'd even survived this long. He rubbed at his temples, feeling a headache coming on.

 

"So you mean to tell me,” He bit out, “The medics actually gave you something to help you eat, and the only damn progress it did was make you hungrier?!"

 

"Well, they did stimulate my appetite." Magpie joked.

 

Beyond frustration. Price’s groan flattened out into a sigh. He'd almost hit acceptance at this point. "Of course they did. So, nothing's helped with your actual problem?"

 

"Nope." Magpie pops the 'P', staring up at the ceiling and rocking on her feet. Ready to be done with this conversation.

 

Covering his eyes again, he felt the curtains on his frustration lifting as his headache cheered it on for an encore. "Love… you do realize this isn’t normal, right? This is beyond someone bein’ a picky eater. I get that it’s not somethin’ you wanna be doin’ at all. But how, in Jesus’ name, did you even survive boot camp?"

 

"Uh, painfully, sir.” Magpie winces at the memory. A phantom ache stinging her knees, the cold hours they spent pressed against her platoon’s concrete bathroom floors haunting her, “I drank a lot of smoothies back then."

 

Price's eyes snapped open and he jerked his head up to stare at her, "That’s not what I mean.” He felt something like desperation growing in his chest, he needed her to understand what he was saying, “I’m askin’ how the hell did you get through the physical aspect of it, especially with the running and all the damn training? Your body didn’t have the nourishment of any solid food. You must’ve felt awful."

 

"Oh, for sure." Magpie nodded. "But I found my niche pretty quick and by the time I’d become valuable enough that they specialized my training I’d learned that if I got tired enough I could eat on autopilot and pass out before my body could overthink its way into me gagging it back up. Eventually I learned how to Mind-Over-Matter it and not throw up at all  and now-" She did some cheery jazz hands, "-here I am!"

 

Captain Price stared at her, hands slack, eyes wide. He was seriously trying to comprehend what in the hell he’d just heard. His mouth silently opened and closed as he tried to find any way to respond to the pile of bullshit she’d planted in front of him.

 

"So you survived by pushing yourself to exhaustion, and eating on autopilot to not throw it back up." Price overflowed with concern. "How in the hell did no one notice?"

 

Solemn eyes looked up at him. "I think somebody must have noticed,” Her voice had an apologetic edge, sorry that the Captain seemed to be taking this so hard, “especially after I went to medical for help, but... I'm really good at what I do? So I guess as long as I can keep doing it…" She trailed off with a shrug.

 

A tinge of anger grew in Price, but it was mixed with a wash of genuine and growing concern as well. "I seriously cannot believe that nobody bothered to get you help. They should’ve. You absolutely shouldn't have to force yourself to goddamn eat food."

 

The beat of silence held and grew as Magpie looked back at him without responding, there was nothing more she could say. Price sighed for the nth time this conversation and muttered. "No one else, besides the medics, knew about this?"

 

"I don't know, Sir.” Magpie’s tone took on a formal cadence, “I only told the medics, I’m not aware if they told anyone else, Sir."

 

"So, there is a possibility of someone knowing about all this. But you don’t know?" Price gazed at her with tired eyes.

 

"Yes, sir." She nodded.

 

Price backed away, but stopped her from moving forward with an aim of his finger, "Just because it’s normal to you doesn’t mean you should be this okay with it. It’s concerning, love. I can’t even begin to tell you how concerning this all is."

 

"I mean, it was pretty scary in boot camp." She tried to sympathize.

 

He shook his head, and his tone now entirely coloured by gentle concern. "Love, it’s still concerning now. You, living your life like this.” He caught the look in her eye and tilted his head up to the heavens in a faux plea for guidance, or perhaps deliverance, “Hell, you’re not even worried about it, are you?"

 

Magpie gave a guilty smile. "No, sir."

 

"Yeah, I figured as much." He grumbled, closing his eyes. Keeping his head turned away from her as he tried to think rationally. "Love, I'm trying to get you to understand how serious this is. How goddamn dangerous it is."

 

"Could we maybe... just go to the mess hall?” Magpie asked. “I didn't mean for this to become such a thing for you." 

 

Price had been able to see how uncomfortable she had been throughout their discussion and with a final sigh decided to let her off the hook, "Yeah, sure, love. We can head out."

 

“Yay!” Magpie cheered with a happy little wiggle, "Lead on, Captain!"

Thank You For Reading!

Some context if you want it: Magpie is an expert at espionage, intel extraction, and stealth. She has no permanent post, instead getting bounced around and transferred from base to base and team to team, there's actually a waiting list for her, hence why she jokes that she gets requisitioned, like a tool. This means that she is rather desperate to make a good first impression, as she most likely won't have time to make any other kind of impression before she has to move on. Thereby why she was so determined to smooth over what is honestly a rather concerning issue, she knows that she (probably) won't be around long enough for Price to actually make any difference. That, and everything that Price is saying is something that she's already thought (or had a crisis) about. She actually had a medic write her up a few diet plans that specify how many calories and nutrients she needs to be healthy for various levels of activity, and she follows them religiously. Having a tangible end goal makes it easier for her to power through meals. She's aware that this isn't a healthy way of living, but it's how she has to live.

Let me know if you want more Magpie stuff! She's the only cod oc I have right now and I love getting to put her scenarios.

PekoeHoneynCream's Masterlist

[ao3feed-jonmartin]

Sleepy cuddles

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Hg9LsSd by smokey_eyes84 Basically Martin cooks for Jon, then Jon cooks for Martin the next day. One things leads to another, and some secrets are outed. Also they cuddle a lot yep mhm TW: ELIAS BEING A DICK (i made myself cry :D ) Words: 4643, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English Fandoms: The Magnus Archives (Podcast) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Categories: M/M Characters: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Martin Blackwood, Original Elias Bouchard, Sasha James Relationships: Martin Blackwood/Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Additional Tags: Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist Needs a Hug, Tired Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Mentioned Tim Stoker (The Magnus Archives), Protective Martin Blackwood, Sleep Deprivation, Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist is Bad at Feelings, First Kiss, Love Confessions, Set in episode 25, Overworking, Everyone Is Gay, Jon forgets to eat AGAIN, fuck elias all my homies hate elias, elias is a dick to sleep deprived jon :(, Sleepy Cuddles, Martin is a good boyfriend, like seriously im gonna marry this man you have no right to be so amazing, here have some jmart songs, tea-holding (yes that is a real ship name), jmart, why is jmart not a tag wtf, Jon is literally a stick please eat something, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, jon for the love of god martin made you pasta EAT IT!, Martin Blackwood Makes Tea, HOW IS THAT A TAG BUT JMART ISNT HDHDHHD, Author Is Sleep Deprived, Author Projecting onto Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, NO IM NOT WHAT DO YOU ME-, The Author Regrets Nothing, The Author Regrets Everything, no beta we die like gertrude fucking robinson, I Made Myself Cry, Mentioned The Mechanisms Ensemble, WARNING WARNING I MENTIONED THAT ONE REALLY SAD MECHS SONG IYKYK, food is the greatest love language, i’m rambling help, ok im actually done now enjoy the fluff :], OH ACTUALLY I REMEMBERED-, Martin Blackwood Has a Crush on Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, Autistic Jonathan "Jon" Sims | The Archivist, just gotta clarify that- OK IM GOING read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/Hg9LsSd

[dia-souls]

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[inevitablemoment]

Frightober Day 3 - Friendship

Word Count: 626

Warnings: Implied/referenced domestic violence, eating disorder not otherwise specified

Fandom: The Frighteners

Pairings: Frank Bannister x Lucy Lynskey

So, unlike the previous prompts, this is set in the same 'verse as my Teacher AU, Somebody Make Me Feel Alive.

There's a month-long gap between Chapters 6 and 7, so this is set during that time.

————————

Since that night at Excalibur's, Frank could count the times that he had spoken personally to Lucy on one hand.

Sure, they had spoken as co-workers, as a parent and a teacher. But they hadn't talked as friends since that night. Whenever he tried to say hi, she would wave to him, only say a few things, then run off. She hadn't joined him and the others in the teacher's lounge during lunch, either.

A sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach-- the same one that he had about Ray Lynskey before he had even met the bastard-- would shortly follow.

When he saw her at recess, he would find himself trying to examine her from afar for bruises or cuts, even if she had covered them with makeup. Of course, that meant he never saw them, but he knew.

Lunchtime finally rolled around, giving him a window to go check on her. He knocked on the door of her classroom.

"Who is it?" her voice-- sounding much smaller than it once had-- called.

"It's-- it's Frank," he answered.

He usually answered as "Mr. Bannister" in case of a student walking by, but he chose to answer by his first name to try to make her feel more comfortable.

He could sense her hesitation from behind the door, with almost a full minute passing before she finally opened it.

Even with the makeup that she was wearing, he could see that she was exhausted. In addition to overworking herself, she obviously hadn't been sleeping through the night. Her clothes were almost hanging off her body, as if she had lost a significant amount of weight.

"Luce..." he breathed her name. "Are you okay?"

Lucy sighed. "Just come in, then you can do the interrogation."

She ushered him inside the classroom, and he closed the door behind him.

"Luce, I'm not trying to interrogate you," Frank said. "You haven't spoken to me since your anniversary--"

"We've talked, haven't we?" she challenged.

"But not like we did at the beginning of the school year," he told her. "Not like in New York."

Lucy froze and tried to turn away from him. "I-- Frank, I--"

"Luce... you're obviously not okay," he said before she could lie and say that she was. "I just want you and Meg to be safe."

She lowered her head, still not looking back at him.

"You eating regularly?" he tried to ask. "When was the last time you ate anything?"

Lucy winced as if the mention of eating had triggered a horrible hunger pang. "I don't know-- haven't been able to keep much down these days."

Frank walked up to her, taking an apple out of his lunch box and handing it to her.

"Here."

Lucy looked at the red apple in his hand, slowly taking it into her hold.

"I could hear your stomach growling," he told her.

"I know," she acquiesced. "But... can I just stay here for lunch today? I-- I just want to be alone right now."

Every fiber in Frank's body urged him to stay with her in that classroom and never leave her side, as if Ray would burst into the school and try to hurt her. But, he knew that what she might wanted more than anything in that moment was for her to make a choice and for others to respect it.

"Okay," he said. "But if you need me, you'll come get me, right?"

"Yeah."

His gaze lingered on her as he moved towards the door. Lucy took two small bites from the apple before she spoke up.

"Thank you," she said.

"You don't have to thank me, Luce," Frank told her. "You're my friend."

She smiled back at him. "You're my friend, too."

[weltato]

Rating: Teen and Up Category: F/M, Gen Relationships: Paul Matthews/Emma Perkins, Paul Matthews & Ted Spankoffski, Paul Matthews & Peter Spankoffski | Hot Chocolate Boy, Peter Spankoffski | Hot Chocolate Boy & Ted Spankoffski, Paul Matthews & Bill Woodward, Paul Matthews & Alice Woodward Characters: Paul Matthews, Emma Perkins, Peter Spankoffski | Hot Chocolate Boy, Ted Spankoffski, Melissa (The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals), Bill Woodward, Alice Woodward

Additional Tags: round 2 electric boogaloo here we go!, Nightmare Time: Hey Melissa!, Fix-It of Sorts, Paul Matthews Needs a Hug, He needs so many hugs, Paul Matthews Loves Emma Perkins, Emma Perkins Loves Paul Matthews, Paulkins - Freeform, how is that not a tag yet? they're the absolute best for each other, the next two need to be tags too, Dead Ted Spankoffski, Traumatized Paul Matthews, Angst, Post-Canon, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Nightmares, paul's nightmare is the hey melissa ending, POV Alternating, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, he's still having problems with eating but there's a bit of progress, please stay safe everyone!!, Food Issues, Vomiting, mentions of vomiting, Hurt/Comfort, But also, Hurt No Comfort, Mild Gore, (Ish) - Freeform, without the fic this was inspired by this fic wouldn't be as in-depth as it is, so go read that one it's so good!!, Break Up, BUT NOT REALLY. EMMA IS JUST OVERWHELMED AND PAUL IS CATASTROPHIZING, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Sexual Assault, i think i've tagged everything but if not pls let me know and i'll add it :)

Series: Part 1 of 'The 12 Fics of The Holidays (2023)'

Summary: Paul sees Ted's little brother at Beanie's and suddenly he's consumed with thoughts of what Peter knows and if he knows that it's all Paul's fault. Seeing 'Little Petey' ties Paul's stomach up in knots, and nightmares reign supreme.

[A semi-continuation of 'My Home, My Saviour, My Firefighter', but can be read as a standalone.]

PLEASE READ THE TAGS

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For @lilacthebooklover <3 We just keep running into each other :)

INSPIRED IN PART BY LILAC'S FIC 'Punishment' SO GO READ IT IT'S AMAZING!!

Paul is our traumatized little blorbo and either we heal him or keep him that way >:)

tws/cws also in the Tumblr tags, pls let me know if I've missed any <3

[diviinitatis]

tw // uncensored (because this isn't the clock app) talk of mental illness, addiction, eating disorders, and weight. read at your discretion

i do want to talk a bit about my writing and art and what i want to do with it-- i think it comes as no surprise that i actively want to explore and depict the uglier and darker sides of life, and a lot of it is coming from my own feelings and experiences and problems, but i remain terrified of coming across like i'm romanticizing it or actually romanticizing it, even by accident.

we're taking d'ablo in this example as he's my most outwardly fucked up character. yes there's the obvious drug abuse and alcoholism that i casually sprinkle into our threads and any writing i do with him, but to examine where this tendency is coming from is important to me. more than that, though, i especially want to talk about my depiction of his eating disorder, which, while restrictive, doesn't fall into an*rexia or b*limia (censoring these so they don't end up in tags or search function) but rather an EDNOS, or eating disorder not otherwise specified.

i've not made a post on its manifestation in d'ablo yet but i came to the realization some time ago that i was unintentionally writing him with adhd for years (surprise, i also have adhd), and accompanying that was his EDNOS. in d'ablo it manifests itself as "forgetting" to eat in several ways -- entering hyperfocus and not feeling the hunger cues, simply not getting any hunger cues because his body is used to starving, suppressing his appetite (both intentionally and by accident) with drugs, and not deriving any pleasure from the act of eating and frankly finding it a chore. all of that combines into not eating much-- when he does remember or bother to eat, his body often rejects it entirely and he has to go throw up.

so eating is not a pleasant experience for him, combining adhd and other pysiological factors including a very fast metabolism whose needs are not being met. d'ablo is underweight (at 5'11, weighing ~135 pounds)-- he's always cold, he's easy to throw, and even if he is a very pretty/attractive/whathaveyou man, his bones are visible: ribs, shoulders and shoulder blades, vertebrae. people worry about him, he's cranky, and he's weaker than he should be for a vampire his age and experience.

it's important to me to combine all of this, though, with the fact that d'ablo still lives his life. his eating disorder isn't supposed to be depicted as extreme and debilitating. he still goes to work, goes out, has sex, falls in love, fights, makes bad decisions, laughs. his life is affected, but not consumed by this sickness.

and this is where i get nervous, because to me it's so important to depict these things, but depicting them as a fact of life rather than a debilitating curse with a million disclaimers about how this is a bad thing is, in fandom and online spaces, equated to romanticizing it. that because d'ablo is still capable of happiness despite this sickness, i'm saying that it's totally fine and healthy to have an ednos, actually. people seem to think, or worse, genuinely believe, that if you depict an addict or a sick person not at rock bottom, or managing to cope with their disease (whether well or badly), that you're condoning it. when really, it's just a part of a very rich and multi-faceted life.

d'ablo doesn't need to be skeletal and bedridden and having his hair fall out for this to be a valid depiction of an eating disorder. i shouldn't be afraid that my writing and art will be misconstrued as romanticizing an illness just because i'm not depicting it at its ugliest. it's important to portray things at their extremes, but to me it's even more important to write about them in a more common, everyday setting, where maybe somebody else who is struggling with it may recognize it for what it is.

outside of that deep reason for depiction, though, it's fucked up that writers and artists feel the need to post a million disclaimers whenever they post something. there should be a rapport, sure-- something that's depicted inaccurately should be pointed out and hopefully the creator will be mature enough to take the feedback and fix it. i say innacurately, not "badly," because that is a subjective term-- people's experiences are different, and portraying something differently doesn't mean it's being portrayed badly (or even innacurately). care and research should go into depiction, but sometimes the depiction won't follow the research because people's experiences are individual and sometimes even non-academic, so much so that the creator isn't always held to taking the feedback they're being given.

so i'm going to try to push this. i'm going to try to work on being unapologetic in how i portray these uncomfortable subjects, and the fact that i portray them in the first place. i always have and will welcome feedback and i'll incorporate what i want/can, when i want/can. generally i think we should extend grace and the benefit of the doubt when we see something we don't like being portrayed, or if something is portrayed in a way we don't like. chances are, it's out of ignorance or a thought-out, well-researched, and careful decision that, just because you don't agree with it, didn't come from a place of malice. fandom and online spaces aren't fun when they're so militant, and they're just getting more and more restrictive and aggressive. i really don't know how to finish this post except by saying i'm tired of it

[ao3feed-birdflash]

That's what best pals are for

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/gXOzZtG

by Artsy_gurl

A seventeen yo Dick Grayson shows up at Roy's place after no one heard from him in weeks.

Or : a lost Dick Grayson gets help from his best friends.

Tw: reference to self harm, depression, alcohol abuse and drug use

Words: 1634, Chapters: 1/1, Language: English

Fandoms: DCU, Batman - All Media Types, Nightwing (Comics), The Flash (Comics)

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: M/M

Characters: Dick Grayson, Wally West, Roy Harper

Relationships: Dick Grayson/Wally West, Dick Grayson & Roy Harper, Dick Grayson & Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Bruce Wayne Tries to Be a Good Parent, Dick Grayson Needs a Hug, Dick Grayson Gets a Hug, Dick Grayson Has ADHD, Dick Grayson Has Abandonment Issues, Depression, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Recreational Drug Use, Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/gXOzZtG

[ao3feed-timkon]

The drought was the very worst

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/iN0l3n1

by Clementine103

TW: Graphic descriptions of eating disorder behaviors, DO NOT read if you are struggling.

Tim's first mistake was deciding to do it. Tim's second mistake was believing he would stop. Tim's third mistake was believing he could stop.

Words: 1451, Chapters: 1/?, Language: English

Fandoms: Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics)

Rating: Not Rated

Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply

Categories: F/M, M/M

Characters: Tim Drake, Dick Grayson, Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Bruce Wayne, Leslie Thompkins, Bart Allen, Cassie Sandsmark, Kon-El | Conner Kent

Relationships: Tim Drake/Kon-El | Conner Kent, Tim Drake & Jason Todd, Tim Drake & Dick Grayson, Tim Drake & Damian Wayne, Tim Drake & Bruce Wayne

Additional Tags: Anorexia, Tim Drake-centric, Tim Drake Has Mental Health Issues, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Eating Disorders, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Bruce Wayne is a Bad Parent, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Jason Todd is Bad at Feelings, Damian Wayne is Bad at Feelings, Tim Drake is Not Okay, Protective Dick Grayson, Protective Jason Todd, Protective Damian Wayne, Protective Bruce Wayne, Drug Use, Drug Abuse, drug

read it on the AO3 at https://ift.tt/iN0l3n1

[sskk-ao3feed]

Where darkness goes lights follows

read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/j9KbfSg by Dazaiosamuissuicidal Oda, starts thinking about dazai more deeply, actually understanding how and why he is struggling, and helps Words: 541, Chapters: 1/25, Language: English Fandoms: 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs Rating: Mature Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage Categories: Other Characters: Dazai Osamu (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Kunikida Doppo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fukuzawa Yukichi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo (Bungou Stray Dogs), Oda Sakunosuke (Bungou Stray Dogs), Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou (Bungou Stray Dogs), Izumi Kyouka (Bungou Stray Dogs), Fyodor Dostoyevsky (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu's Mother (Bungou Stray Dogs), Armed Detective Agency and Port Mafia Ensembles (Bungou Stray Dogs) Relationships: Fukuzawa Yukichi/Mori Ougai (Bungou Stray Dogs), Dazai Osamu/Nakahara Chuuya (Bungou Stray Dogs), Akutagawa Ryuunosuke/Nakajima Atsushi (Bungou Stray Dogs), Ozaki Kouyou/Yosano Akiko (Bungou Stray Dogs), Edogawa Ranpo/Edgar Allan Poe (Bungou Stray Dogs) Additional Tags: Dazai-Typical Suicide Mentions (Bungou Stray Dogs), Implied/Referenced Suicide, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Eating Disorder Not Otherwise Specified, Underage Drug Use, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, Underage Smoking, author has super dark humor dont blame me, mental issues, dazai stays in the pm, dazai isnt in the ada, Q and dazai are like siblings, mori is a pedophile, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Canon-Typical Violence, Blood and Gore, major tw for suicide, i have 10k chapters lollll, i have five unfinished books motivation is not on my side fr, so not coquette at all WAHHH, i swear im bipolar not saying that for attentions guys, author is not glorifying anything kk???, author has been though shit for the rights of dark humor, oda doesnt die, oda adopts dazai in the end, mori is a pedo idc what you say, bc mf said ¨i like my women under the age of 12¨ and yall still defending him WHAT? read it on AO3 at https://ift.tt/j9KbfSg