#Tusk Restaurant

[thestarfishdancer]

The Eras Adventure: Entry # 3

Good morning, readers! My time in Paris is sunsetting, but I’ve still got a little holiday left to go and a few things planned yet! I also have a few more things under my belt in terms of adventuring! I’d been scrolling through tour apps like Get Your Guide and Viator, looking for low key activities to do. I’d found a make your own perfume workshop, so bought myself a place in that Monday. It’s…

[fiddlehead-soup]

this is Raphael

[hometoursandotherstuff]

Another opportunity to own Frontier Town, b/c it's on the market again. This is a former old west town theme park attraction built in 1948, but it's been a residence since 2001 and is being sold as a home. Located in Helena, Montana, it has 4bds, 6ba, plus lots of stone and wood. $1.7M.

Imagine driving thru the gates of your fortress town and the first thing you see is your jail.

Continue down the the road past the old souvenir stands.

And, arrive at your log cabin style residence.

You've got some pretty serious stone walls in the living room. Is that a wooly mammoth tusk in the wall?

The kitchen. The property is being sold "as is" and the owner will go over with the buyer the things that will be staying.

Look at the fireplace in the kitchen.

The dining room is very rustic.

This is the primary bedroom and en-suite. I don't know what I would do with this house, it does need so much updating.

The property has a total of 42 rooms. This floor has a huge crack.

This looks like it was part of the attraction with a restaurant area and seating.

Here's a miniature town display. Everything is so dusty, and these were photos from when it was last on the market, so I wonder if it's deteriorated further.

Remember, before it was a home, it was a business. This looks like a dance floor. Look at all the things!

It's like a museum.

The old commercial kitchen stuff is back here all rusty. There're even some old spices on the shelf above the stove. There's a lot of clean up needed here.

The old game room. The owners really let this stuff deteriorate.

Looks like some wagons back here. Even if I didn't want to use the place as an attraction, I'd still want this stuff in good shape.

This looks like part of the Pioneer Town, also, there's a display kiosk with souvenirs.

There're some great things here, and they should've been kept clean and preserved.

Since it's a town, it has a church, too.

There are so many buildings that need attention.

There are 41 acres of land and, we don't know how much it's deteriorated since these photos were taken. Currently, it's been on the market 110 days already.

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/8610-W-Us-Highway-12-Helena-MT-59601/116348895_zpid/?

[writers-potion]

Fantastical Asian Monsters (Part I)

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I Fly Undead, Gangsi (殭屍)

Nationality: China Form: Human-type Size: 1.5~1.7m

Gangsi first appeared in the late Ming Dynasty, but it was most common during the Qing dynasty. Thus, Gangsis often appear in Qing attire.

When people died in battle, they attached an amulet to the body which helped them to return to their hometown.

if the amulet falls in the middle, they become Gangsi and wander. It is said that the whole body has already hardened and cannot walk like a human, but they can fly / jump around.

When attacked by Gangsi, the attacked person also turns into Gangsi, but if they hold their breath or run over a tree, Gangsi cannot find them.

I’m So Hungry, Go-su-yeo-chil (고수여칠)

Nationality: Korea Form: Human-type Size: 1.6m

It is a monster in the form of a dried-up man.

It has thin bone-like leg with a paper skirt around it, and it is hard to see the upper body. It is said to make an old woman's voice and imitate the voice of a dead family member or relative

They enter a house to eat food, tear window paper, and throw tiles or stones to cause damage.

Will You Marry Me? Gumiho (구미호)

Nationality: Korea/China/Japan Form: Animal-type Size: 1.6m

It is a fox monster with nine tails.

Foxes appear in various countries and are said to have the ability to attract people. Foxes do not have nine tails from birth, andhen they develop a tail every few hundred years and have all nine tails, they become an immortal monster.

Although it is a fox, it can be turned into a beautiful person, and it is said that it gets energy from humans or eats human liver through fox beads.

It is said that people who are deprived of energy may not die if they are lucky, but all people who are deprived of their livers will die.

There is a story that if a Gumiho eats 100 livers, marry a human, and don't get identified for 100 days, a Gumiho will turn human.

Droppings of Doom, Gwicha (鬼車)

Nationality: China Form: Bird-type Size: 1.5~2m

It is a monster in the form of a bird with nine heads. It is also called a 'tune' because it has nine heads on one body. The ear car looks similar to an owl as a whole, but it is said that the nine faces sometimes look similar to the human figure. It is said to be about 3m in size when both wings are unfolded. Blood keeps dripping from one of the nine heads, and if a person gets hit with it, not only the person but also the person

Even Nira's family suffers from misfortune. However, even if your car is not hit by blood, it enters people's homes on its own to spread misfortune or take away people's souls.

It is said that the car is blind during the day, so they usually go around only at night, and at this time, they become blind immediately just by looking at a small fire debt and fall even when they fly. So people say that when a car comes in the middle of the night, they immediately light a candle or make the dog bark and drive it away.

The ultimate oval face, Nopperabo (のっぺらぼう)

Nationality: Japan Form: Human-type Size: 2m

This is a monster with a human face but no eyes, nose, or mouth.

It is said to appear both as a woman and a man, and show his face to a person who stands still and talks to him on a dark night road.

They surprise humans to mak them run away, or surprise customers who come after being in a cart bar or noodle restaurant.

It is said that there are several strands of hair attached to the clothes of a person who meets Nopperabo.

Known as an "egg ghost" in Korea.

Forfeit Your Firstborn! Langda

Nationality: Indonesia Form: Human-type Size: 1.5~1.7m

It is a monster in the form of a human woman, with eyes that are likely to protrude from the red face, a tongue that stretches to the waist, and four tusks protruding out of the mouth, and its head is always loose and worn.

Langda is a wicked creature that preys on infants and uses black magic, with the ability to control low-ranking demons and other monsters, and the ability to freely transform into other creatures. It is said that by swearing at people or spreading diseases, they lose their lives and damage crops. However, they also use magic to heal people's suffering and diseases by whimpering, which is why some areas open Langda

It is said to be worshipped as a god and regarded as the guardian deity of the village.

No Ordinary Leech, Bes Kemwar

Nationality: Malaysia Form: Worm-type Size: 0.1~0.2m

It is a monster in the form of a furry earthworm. Beth Kemwer always bites her tail and curls its body into a round shape.

It eats crops such as rice and vegetables as a staple food, and it is usually hard to see, but in February, it appears near the river.

If a person drinks water from a river containing Baskemwor or from a river where Baskemwor's hair has fallen, the body swells up, hives rise, coughs and even bleeds. If you get treatment early after bleeding, you can recover quickly, but over time, the pain gets worse and you lose your life because you can't eat or drink.

It is said to live mostly at the end of branches, and people who pass by trees near it also develop hives and swell up all over their bodies. The swelling does not go until two or three months later.

Mongolian Death, Olgoi-Khorkhoi

Nationality: Mongol Form: Worm-type Size:0.6~14m

It is a huge, fat worm-shaped monster. It is also called the 'Mongolian Death Will'.

Each individual has a various size, and his whole body has a bright red color. There are several pointed tentacles on one side of his body, not a head. He can't see because he has no eyes, but he has excellent touch and hearing.

Olgoi corcoi only live in the desert and roam freely in the sand, and when a person or camel appears, it appears on the sand, eats and disappears in an instant. It is said that it emits a strong acidic poison a little away from the prey, which melts the prey, and when it feels dangerous, it releases electricity to make the other person electrocute.

Look Me in the Face, Inmyeonsu

Nationality: East Asia Form: Hybrid Size: 0.7~1m

It is a monster in the form of a bird.

Human turkeys have human faces and arms on their bodies, or their entire upper bodies are shaped like humans. They exist all over the world, and they have very different looks and characteristics from time to time and country.

They are considered sacred beings that prevent bad luck for people, and they are also considered ominous beings that eat people and harm villages.

The mere appearance of human turkeys caused natural disasters and wars in the world.

They make beautiful sounds and bless people with their own unique sounds, but as soon as they hear human turkeys, damage may occur and people and livestock may be killed

Living on Your Scent, Gandharva

Nationality: India Form: Human-type Size: 1.7m

A humanoid monster that hunts down scents.

Sometimes called "Gundalba"; or "Shimhyang."

Gandharba is not an individual, but a race, which protects children and the weak from evil. Gandharba was born in water, but he is able to roam freely in the sky and on earth. With a horse tail on his human body, golden wings and birds.

Gandharba eats fragrant scents as their main food, and they always have a scent around them. They are mostly masculine and like beautiful women so much that they sometimes form relationships with humans.

They generally enjoy freewheeling life, but they are said to be extremely jealous.

References:

The monster profiles have been adapted from <동양 문화 속 괴물들의 이야기 괴물도감 (동양편)> written and illustrated by 고고학자(강석민). All image credits in this post goes to 강석민. Translation from Korean to English by me. 

Feel free to ask me questions, if any :)

[monster-disaster]

[orc] Rakar Iron - 1/3

orc!Rakar Iron x human!Reader - 1/3 Good to know: there will be no smut in Rakar's story

Summary: You move back to Ironridge, and Rakar is there to help you.

The sun is bright and warm at the top of the clear blue sky. White clouds linger above the forest surrounding Ironridge. Lush trees and dark evergreens bask under the sunlight. Your hometown barely changed since you packed your things and moved to the city. The tall mountains welcome you with familiarity and comfort. The main street is as loud and busy with the park and market in the center as every Saturday. You recognize the bakery at the corner and your favorite coffee shop on the other side of the park. Your mind fills with memories, and you can't help but smile. Even after finding a job in the city and almost marrying the wrong guy, Ironridge still feels like home.

Rakar is already waiting for you when you arrive. He stands tall and broad on the terrace of his house. The black jeans he wears stretch on his muscular legs, and the matching shirt barely hide the tattoos all over his light green skin. The sides of his head are shaved with a long braid in the middle. His smile is crooked and boyish because of the one tusk that broke in half when he first got his motorcycle. The other one glints with a gold hoop around the base.

You met the orc when you were kids, and he cried after his mother on the first day in kindergarten. You comforted him, and he has been a part of your life ever since. You were there when he was a clingy little boy with a high voice and too much mischief. You watched him go through his lanky teenage years when his limbs were too long, and his heart was too vulnerable. You supported him when he found his passion for bikes and cars and got his first job in a mechanic shop.

"Oh, look, a stranger!" He is at your door with a few long steps. His arms curl around your torso the moment you step out of the car. His embrace is warm and steady. "You saw me at my family's Christmas party," you roll your eyes. Your words are muffled by his shoulder. "When you had a fiancé and a job." A grimace contorts your face as you step back from his hug. "Don't even remind me." "Well, I'm happy you are home again. I missed you." "Thank you again for letting me stay," you say while watching him take out your things from the backseat. "Moving back to my parents would be too awkward." Rakar laughs. "Yeah, your mother teaches yoga in your room." "I know. I had to sleep on the mats when I came home to visit." The young orc's laugh gets louder. His voice booms in the quiet neighborhood. "They must be happy you are back." "They don't even try to hide it." Your dad didn't even try to hide his happiness when you told him about your breakup. They always imagined you would end up with Rakar.

Ridiculous. Right?

Right?

In your mind, your best friend is still a too-tall, too-clumsy teenager, so whenever you see him as a young man, he is now a shock to your system. He is not as broad as his brothers but tall and lean with muscles and strength.

He takes your bags inside the house with ease while you follow him upstairs to the guest room. "This is your room," he says, dropping everything on the bed. "You can do whatever you want with it." "You know I don't plan to stay for long," you tell him, looking over the white walls and matching furniture. Rakar shrugs. "You stay as long as you want to." The orc missed you much more than you think. When you told him you planned to move back to town after your breakup, he was too happy. "Thank you." "I will let you rest a bit," he says. "I thought we could watch a movie and eat pizza later? Like we used to." "It sounds great, Rakar."

Moving back to your hometown is easier than you thought it would. Your parents are happy you are close to them again, and the others welcome you with open arms. You get your job back in the restaurant where you worked as a teenager. It's a huge step back in your career, but you don't feel so bad about it. You liked working there back then, and surprisingly, you still enjoy it.

"What can I get you?" You ask the tall orc sitting next to the window. He looks almost comical at the small table in his motorbike gear with the pretty, vintage decorations around him. "What do you have?" He grins. "I have a menu," you roll your eyes in answer, pushing the thin book in front of him. The corners of your lips twitch at his obvious amusement. "Charlie!" Rakar shouts after you before you can disappear into the kitchen. When you turn back, his grin widens. "What about drinks?"

Seeing you in the dark jeans and the bright pink shirt with the restaurant's logo on it reminds him of the days when your hair was dyed purple and your braces matched in color, and he came in to eat every day just to spend some time with you.

You and Rakar fall into a comfortable rhythm as you learn how to live with each other.

"So, it's like a gang?" You ask, smirking. You already know the answer. His cheeks darken. "Not in a bad way, you know? We just like bikes and…" He shrugs. Of course, it's not a gang. Rakar is a good boy. Always have been. You can't imagine him going around town and causing trouble. His brothers would kill him so their ma wouldn't have to. "I'm happy you found friends," you tell him. "They sound great."

You sit on the ground in the mechanic shop where he works. The garage door is wide open, letting in the warm summer breeze. It mixes with the scent of oil and metal that linger all around the place.

"Thanks for bringing dinner," he says, lifting the empty plastic container off his lap. He sits in front of you. His back is against the car he is currently working on. You wave him off. "This is the least I can do." Rakar wants to argue but decides against it. You have to do nothing to show your gratitude.

Rakar is just happy you are back.

The poor man has been in love with you since you left for the city, and he had to face the fact that he missed you much more than a best friend. Then, he had to watch you build your life without him. You found a job in an office and fell in love with another man. When you told him about your engagement, he was brokenhearted. He wanted to be the reason for your happiness but kept quiet instead.

And he is still quiet about it.

He has no idea what you would say, and he can't risk your friendship because of his feelings. Maybe it would be too soon. Or maybe, you don't see more in him than a friend.

"What are we watching?" You ask him one night. Rakar is already on the couch with a bowl of popcorn on his lap. The orc shakes his head. "Something about robots ruling the world." "It sounds… surprisingly boring." Rakar laughs and lets you adjust yourself in the free space next to him. His body is warm and hard next to you. "It is."

A comfortable silence falls over you, and soon, the sound of the TV turns into a background noise while both of you fall asleep in the dark living room.

When you wake up, you are lying on the couch with Rakar on top of you. A new movie plays on the TV, and the scent of popcorn still lingers in the air. You need a few seconds to recognize the weight on you as your friend. His arms are at your sides, gripping the soft fabric of your shirt. His head rests on your chest, nuzzling deeper into your cleavage. His warm breath fans over your nipple, and his thick hair tickles the curve of your neck.

Heat creeps up on your cheeks, and a shiver runs through your body as your nipples harden into small peaks under your shirt.

O-oh.

For long minutes, you are not sure what you should do. Wake him up? Let him sleep? Get up somehow? The last option is impossible. You can barely move with his weight on top of you.

You can feel Rakar moving and snuggling closer, making you forget how to breathe while you think through your options again. You could act like you are asleep. Maybe it would be the best. Just avoid the awkwardness. But before you can decide and close your eyes, the orc lifts his head and stare into your eyes silently. His dark eyes glint in the light of the TV. Your heart thuds against your ribs, and you are sure he can feel it too. "Rakar?" You find your voice after a while, but his name is barely louder than a weak whisper.

He says nothing. He just leans closer and presses his lips to yours.

- Masterlist Ironridge Masterlist Patreon

[autistic-fool-with-ideas]

Uncle Lion AU rambles

This AU was fully just created because I really like cats and Azure is literally just a giant cat. Also MK called him Uncy Lion that one time and I got REALLY attached really quickly

The basis of the AU hinges on two things: Wukong never placed Azure in the scroll of memories (Peng and Yellow Tusk are still in there tho. Wukong just hesitated at Azure and spared him), and Wukong witness MKs hatching and after a few days he ends up giving him up to Pigsy and Tang which Azure sees and decides “alright, I’ll help those two out with that.” Because Y’know. Probably super powered baby.

Azure is actually incredibly emotionally stable and intelligent compared to his canon counterpart. He had seventeen centuries worth of self reflections and wandering, so he’s figured a lot of stuff out.

Azure does NOT know that Macaque is alive at first. He never talked to Wukong after the whole scroll of memories thing up until he saw MK being given up and when he talked to Wukong about that, Wukong didn’t see any reason to bring up Macaque.

So it takes until season one episode nine for Azure to even learn that Macaque’s alive, and that Macaque has KIDS

Rumble and Savage are also here, mitosis babyyyy

Azure also didn’t even know about Red Son like at all. He’s very out of the loop with the amount of nephews he has in season one. He does try his best to bond with all of them.

Azure works as a Waiter a Pigsys Noodles. Not even to get paid or anything. He just wants to. He has a good time with it.

He DOES steal from the restaurants freezer a bunch tho, he really likes eating raw meat. He will not cook it. Azure does not like it cooked. According to him: “it’s too crispy.” Pigsy wants to fistfight Azure over this (non seriously)

Azure takes over MKs training in season two

He ALSO knows Wukong isn’t on vacation in season two, but because he doesn’t want to wreck his barely remade friendship with Wukong he doesn’t say anything about it. He promised it.

[shitpostingkats]

What are your Twewy reaper headcanons?

NORMAL, I HAVE A NORMAL AMOUNT OF REAPER HEADCANONS THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING

Okay so if you count Def March (which I absolutely do) there's twelve named Shibuya reapers. Which fits with the fact that every reaper corresponds to an animal of the chinese zodiac.

I'm just guessing with BJ and Tenho, according to Nomura every reaper has a hidden kanji in their names representing their animal, but I can't read japanese so I took a shot in the dark. Also, fun fact, Minamimoto can't rearrange the radicals in his name to spell boar, like he can with lion, his true noise form. But he's got a lot of boar symbolism, being found in Pork City, and his Leo Cantus Armo form having tusks, which ties into the fact that the Shinjuku reapers all have motifs based on hanafuda suits. MORE ON THAT LATER I AM VERY NORMAL ABOUT HIM.

Ahem. So awhile back I was considering writing a fic on all the Shibuya reapers and how they came to have their current jobs, what their games were like, etc. (Might still write this. I've been busy)

So I sat down to try and come up with headcanons for EVERY named Shibuya reaper, and now I hold every one of them near and dear to my heart.

Kariya is mentioned in game as the oldest reaper, probably having been around for longer than anyone else. I like to imagine there's a huge gap between him and any other current reaper, which drives Mitsuki CRAZY, this chill dude just hangs around and eats candy but also has seniority???? Also he's more powerful than any other reaper save maybe the composer?

The thing that did him in was lung cancer. The lollipop's a replacement cigarette, in much the same way people recommend chewing on hard candy if you're trying to quite smoking. Why did he decide to quit after he died, and he no longer had anything to worry about? Listen the Game's all about growth, and Kariya is possibly the strongest because he is so capable of change, of going with the flow, and learning from his mistakes.

Like every ex-Player, he had a partner when he won his game, and I don't have a whole lot of headcanons for them except 1) they chose to return to life, and 2) Uzuki reminds him of them a lot.

Mitsuki was a woman working her ass off to try and make it in male-led office, until she literally worked herself to death. As you might expect, this royally pissed her off. She was desperate to return to life, but unfortunately, her entry fee came as a pair. What her partner, a simple farmwoman from out of town, valued most was the ability to go unnoticed and unremarked on, while Mitsuki deeply coveted every scrap and morsel of recognition she could get.

So their partnership was cursed so no matter what they did, people's eyes would skate over Mitsuki, dismiss her, and Mitsuki's partner would be lauded with the credit. Mitsuki became almost invisible, while her partner was forced to step up and do most of the talking.

This led her partner feeling more comfortable with being seen, with taking up space, so when the chance came to return to life, she took it with grace. Mitsuki, on the other hand, came to realize she liked working from the shadows. And besides, she could have more power as a reaper than anything a stupid company of the living could offer her...

Higashizawa is pretty simple, both in the game and in my headcanons. He's a cook. Maybe an army cook, but the point is he values food as a part of life, and had to cope with entry fee in the game being unable to eat, despite all the other players, including his partner, being able to.

I picture his partner on the younger side, maybe a cadet, maybe not. They had a very sweet dynamic, very paternal. Even though he couldn't eat, Higashizawa would break into restaurants that didn't have a reaper decal, and "commandeer" their kitchens to make dishes, which, despite only one of them eating them, saved them enough yen and gave enough stat boosts for them to win the game. And led to a spiked increase in reports in "haunted kitchens" for the week they were playing.

Kitanji is TRANS. I know this for a fact. Mr. Square Enix himself told me.

"Megumi" is technically a unisex name but much more commonly a feminine one, something that is actually brought up in the manga, when my dumb cat son tries to nickname Kitanji and Kitanji snaps back that he's very sensitive about his name and was bullied as a kid. This is a trans guy.

He ran a record store in life that unfortunately fell victim to an armed robbery, and Kitanji was killed. His most important thing, his name, was taken from him as his entry fee. This further parallels him to Neku, who woke up in the game knowing nothing but his name. It could also explain why he's so distrusting of Shibuya and thinks the world would simply be better if everyone conformed; after being on the end of transphobic bullying in life, the idea of standing out and embracing the chaos of being a unique soul terrifies him.

MINAMIMOTO is my dumb stupid goth catboy son and I am INSUFFERABLE about him. I have SO many headcanons it's insane.

First off, he died of general exposure, as he was homeless for most of his life. This nicely ties into his habit of collecting garbage, making trash into something brash and artistic, and his general attitude of making himself heard and assertive, while still being so in tune with the flow of the city and people that he has powers unseen in any other reaper. Minamimoto was ignored by the city in life so in death HE IS GOING TO KILL GOD AND TAKE HIS PLACE. WHILE BEING EXTREMELY LOUD ABOUT IT.

So it stands to reason that his entry fee, upon entering the game, was his voice. For the entire game, he was completely mute.

(One of the first things he did as a reaper, was get his megaphone.)

His partner was a diver from the coast who's entry fee was her memories of her home. She knew she had one, she just couldn't remember where, and who was waiting for her in the living world. They developed a series of hand signs for Sho to communicate with, both having a rough grasp of JSL, Sho from some fellow homeless people who were deaf and her from her experience as a diver.

My other big, big headcanon for him is, about 3/4s of the way through the week, she died. Sho, knowing about the seven minutes rule because he picks things up quickly, knew he didn't have long to live if he let her soul energy dissipate and that she would never find out where he home was, but it was MOSTLY about his own survival, shut up, collected up her soul data and tried balancing her equation and a bunch of other Minamimoto nonsense I am not smart enough to write. x = acos(t) and y = asin(t) over root 2 and all that.

He turned her into a noise.

After all, transformation is kinda his thing, and he's notably skilled at manipulating Soul and giving it new forms. He was the one who discovered the loophole that Beat would use to save his sister in week 1. It's what originally put him on Hanekoma's radar as someone to keep an eye on. Hanekoma also made note of the process in case he ever needed it.

After that, Minamimoto went on to win the game, have his partner restored to life, and was now far too curious about studying Soul and Noise to even think of doing anything else but staying in the UG.

His noise form, while originally a boar, he managed to by complete force of will shape into a lion, just because he wanted to be a lion.

He had a short tenure as a wall reaper, where he would ask impossibly long math questions of the "A train leaves Philadelphia at 8:00am traveling 90 mph" variety. This caused him to be promoted to an Officer just to stop him from being a Harrier, and some rules to be laid down regarding what can and can't be a viable quiz for the wall questions.

Def March was a real band before they died, probably in some hilarious way, that killed all three of them. Being Shibuya's only instance of a rare three person pact, their collective entry fee was their memories of knowing each other in life, but they decided to stick together anyways despite having no idea who these random two other guys they woke up in the afterlife with were. Cue clown music as they proceed to become best friends and vow to start a band together once they win the game.

They decided to stay as reapers once they won because none of them could think of anything cooler than a metal band that was actually dead.

Although still very passionate about music, most of their memories of being a band getting erased meant they had some space to explore new hobbies. BJ and Tenho decided to combine their newfound loves of bar trivia and local history into a new method of Harrying, known as the Reaper Review.

Coco wasn't able to see much of the city when she was alive, being hospital bound for most of her life before losing the fight to a chronic illness at a young age. So she took to being a reaper with gusto, diving in to the local trends and culture like she was starving for it. Her entry fee might be considered a paltry thing to most, the ability to see color, but it truly was the thing about herself she valued most. After a life of drab grey walls and sterile surfaces, color was deeply important to her, none moreso than the colors she chose for herself.

She's also the most adventurous of the Shibuya reapers, being the one to actually leave the district and travel to other places in the city, which is how she and Tsugumi became friends.

Uzuki is the second newest reaper, having died recently of a heart attack (see the sprites where she clutches her chest when taken off guard) Like Mitsuki, she was originally deeply annoyed by her life being cut short, but adapted quickly to the new structure of the reapers and is aiming high after realizing how much more being a reaper can offer her. I genuinely have no idea what her entry fee might have been so I am currently in the market for a good headcanon there.

Joshua is the most recent addition to the Shibuya reapers

Okay, hear me out.

First off, I am obsessed with the fanon that Joshua and Fret knew each other in life. Joshua is heavily implied in the first game to have taken his own life, while Fret speaks in the second about losing a friend to what is heavily implied to be suicide. The idea that the loss that set Fret down the path of repression and insincerity was Joshua scratches my brain in such a satisfying way.

Second, he's a prodigy in all things UG related, but has the general attitude and personality of someone actually the age he appears to be. Boy is chronically 15. I think it's much more likely he died a little more than a year or two ago before the start of twewy and rose through the ranks quickly, rather than being some eternally 15 twerp whose been around for years.

It is mentioned he knew Hanekoma in life, and would visit CAT street frequently to talk about the UG, which is something he could see even before he died. He killed himself knowing where he would go, and how he was special.

So I think his entry fee is he got to the UG and couldn't see anything.

No noise, no reapers, no players. Hanekoma was waiting for him, being just enough of a non-game-related entity to at least give him a heads up and see he got a Pact. Joshua himself doesn't know much about his partner, being unable to see them for the entire game. But he did rely on them. Trust your partner. In Josh's case, he had to.

Also, think about the blood vessel Uzuki would pop if she learned that the all powerful composer who wields the power of the entire city with a mysterious anonymity had actually been with the UG shorter than she has.

[respectthepetty]

*I'm going to be completely normal about Moonlight Chicken. I'm just going to watch and enjoy it. I'm not going to look deeper. I'm not going to think about..*

Moonlight Chicken's Symbolism and Background Noise

The series has several Chinese influences and begins on September 10, 2022, which an actual full moon fell on that day. It is the Moon Festival also known as Harvest Moon, Mid-Autumn Moon, or Mooncake. It is meant to be spent with others. In the lunar calendar, it's the mid-point of the year. We know this date from Jim's beer.

The brand of the beer is Full Moon, and he and Wen drink it throughout the first episode.

Jim and Wen discuss what is normally seen in the moon. Jim sees a woman (which there is legend about a woman and the moon, but it's too much for this space), but Wen states it's a rabbit. A rabbit normally represents the full moon because both symbolize longevity, peace, and prosperity.

That's why mooncakes are given during this time. They represent well wishes to the receiver and those shared with a long peaceful and prosperous life.

Ginger, which Wen shared with Jim, also symbolizes longevity as well as passion and strength.

Jim's green truck's license plate states frog in Thai. Frogs are a symbol of prosperity and good luck.

Li Ming, whose name means (bright) dawn, wears an Ohio State Buckeyes Football Shirt. Buckeyes are a type of nut and symbolize good luck (thanks college football for that nugget of info!).

However, this show is doing well with subtle foreshadowing, so Li Ming might run into some bad luck with driving (Heart around) without a license.

We get some foreshadowing with the DVD Wen picks up at Jim's. This movie is about two lovers who meet in Hong Kong after relocating there from other parts of China. Their lives take them on separate paths, only for them to reunite ten years later in America. The ending shows that they actually sat back-to-back on the train ride into Hong Kong over a decade ago. Aka, they were fated lovers.

Jim has an Idiot's Guide to Starting a Home-Based Business and Reader's Digest collection of books - Dick Francis' Comeback (about a man who gets entangled with a stranger on his route to his new job), Frederick Forsyth's The Deceiver (about a British agent who is set to retire, but one of the main plots is an affair), and Alexandria Ripley's Scarlett (which continues the story of Scarlett and Rhett from Gone with the Wind, who are estranged, but at the end, reunite). *Also, the condom package is amazing. The C of "condom" is actually the condom. I just think it's neat!

Wen has Eric Hall's Monster (which is about famous sport agent Eric Hall who was known for being a money monster). This is likely to be Alan's book because the apartment is filled with art, which is due to Wen being an art director. He was also drinking because of his job but didn't state anything specific about the reason.

Wen and Alan's apartment is more modern, while Jim's is more traditional.

When Jim and Wen met at the restaurant, it is Saturday going into Sunday. In Thailand, Sunday's color is red, and its unlucky color is blue. However, In China, red represents good luck, and blue represents longevity. We see these colors often around Jim and Wen (scroll back up).

Jim was shown mostly in or highlighted by red the first episode with Wen in or highlighted by blue.

Even Jim's aprons are red. They say Hungry? with a little chicken peaking out of the pockets.

We also see the blues and reds around Heart and Li Ming. *peep the elephant tusks which are encasing the family and symbolize power*

The bottle Heart drops is Snake Bite Whiskey, and a snakebite shot simply consists of whiskey and lime juice aka it hurts like an actual snakebite.

Modern Thai Sign Language was influenced by American Sign Language (which was greatly influenced by French Sign Language). It seems as if Heart is telling Li Ming his face scared him, but I'm unsure of the last sign since that is not the ASL sign for surprise, scared, or angry. The second portion seems to consist of Heart saying YOUR MISTAKE, but once again, the second sign is different than ASL's mistake because of the breadth of the movement. *I love that this wasn't captioned because it allows the audience to feel Li Ming's confusion and Heart's frustration.

We end the episode back at night with another shot of the moon. As others have pointed out, the colors at night are more crisp and vibrant compared to the day.

But based on Li Ming's name, and the symbols, I think Moonlight Chicken is attempting a similar theme as Big Dragon - The Moon and the Sun have to meet at Dawn. These lovers won't work in their current situations. They have to compromise and find balance, which is why they met in the middle of the year. They have to meet in the in-between.

[fawnfictions]

Hello I just found your account and read some the x reader posts (specifically wukong and macaque) and like your work and wanna request something

I barely see any azure x reader or peng x reader

So could you do a poly azure and peng x reader romantically of course I don’t really know what it should be about but I hope it won’t be to much of a problem

Please and thank you and have a good day! 👍

reservations

— azure lion & peng x gn!reader

thanku!!! tbh, i dislike azure and peng djdhjdbf so i wasn't sure how to write them—my bad if they're ooc, but i wanted to write this anyways ^^

y'all need to be fed tbh, i've noticed that no one writes for these two—so i wrote headcanons and a scenario <3

;; romantic, polyamorous relationship, fluff.

POLY!AZURE LION & PENG

- the dynamic between these two is calm, unbothered dog versus feisty, hot-headed cat.

- you'll be chilling on the couch, and Azure will be letting you cuddle up to him while watching the television and Peng will be starting up a playful banter with you, or complaining about someone.

- honestly, they balance each other out REAL well.

- Azure definitely knows how to make Peng calm down, in order to avoid a street fight on what was SUPPOSED to be a nice night out in the town.

- but, the minute that a stranger makes a comment about you, the both of them are jumping the person.

- and there is quite literally no way for you to stop them.

- ..anyways......

- threeway spooning, anyone?

- just between you and me; Peng is totally a little spoon. Azure would be the big spoon though, and you'd be snuggled up between the two of them <3

- don't you dare tease Peng for it, you'll never hear the end of it, and you won't be getting cuddles for a WEEK.

- they probably wouldn't even last a week, to be honest; a few days in, and they'd be crawling back to you, asking for cuddles despite their pride.

- Peng teases you a lot, and as much as it is meant to be playful, they take it too far sometimes—Azure has to sit down and talk with them, and force Peng to apologise to you.

- after a while, though, they learn where the line is, and not to cross it.

- now, according to their wiki page, Peng likes wine and violence (im not joking, those are his two 'likes'—me too, dude).

- and as it was seen in flashbacks to the brotherhood in the show, the two of them often relax with a glass of wine and talk; so i can imagine they'd do the same with you.

- evenings after a gruelling day of work, the three of you come home, pop open a bottle of wine, and revel in each others presence.

- personally, to me, Azure seems like the type to enjoy philosophical conversations, leading to the two of you getting into a deep talk on various moral topics.

- otherwise, he and Peng would probably recall the adventures they've gone on in their lifetime as the brotherhood.

- they'd focus on the happy times, for the most part, laughing at the antics they'd get up to with Macaque, Wukong, and Yellow Tusk.

- but sometimes, particularly when they've had a little too much to drink, or if they've had a bad day, they'd open up a bit more on the sadder times they've shared; reminiscing on their losses and failures.

- you're always there to pick them up again, though—reminding them of the present times, where they've got you, and you've got them.

- Azure's love language is probably words of affirmation and quality time, cherishing his time with you (especially as a mortal and immortal).

- Peng's love language would be acts of service, and perhaps gift giving? hence their willingness to kill a man for you.

- take this as you will, but they'd cherish any form of love you'd show them, unbiased to a particular way.

- dates with them would be a little over-the-top, they'd feel the need to take you to some 'fancy, high-end' restaurant that you don't even wanna GLANCE at the prices of.

- rest assured, they'd pay the bill in full. you've got no clue where they get the money, but they sure as hell have it.

- they want only the best for their loved one <3

Staring into the full-length mirror delicately hung on the wall inside your bedroom, you gave a once-over of your outfit. Patting down the minimal creases left on it, you hastily adjusted your hair one last time and nodded to yourself.

Azure and Peng had, yet again, reserved a date between the three of you at a newly-opened buffet down the road. Despite the establishment being public for no more than a month, countless reviews had surfaced online with various praises and 5-star ratings. This, of course, grabbed both the demon's attention, leading to tonight's scheduled dinner.

You entered the lounge room, meeting the gazes of two waiting members of the Brotherhood.

"Ready to go, love?" Azure called out, a smile lifting his cheeks.

You responded with your confirmation, only to be immediately interrupted by Peng, "Took you long enough!"

They stalked over to you and, despite the negativity of their previous comment that received your eye roll, lifted your hand to their beak to imitate a kiss to your hand, "But you look... Lovely, tonight."

The redness that bloomed on your cheeks was almost instant, furrowing your eyebrows with a shy grin. The two demons cherished your bashful expression, enjoying your flustered state whenever they slipped in a compliment towards you.

Not wishing to waste any more time, though, Peng kept their grip on your hand and followed Azure out the door. The restaurant was all but a few blocks away, an acceptable distance for walking. And walk you did; drifting into conversation and lighthearted banter as your freehand slipped into Azure's.

"And before he could get another word out, the man slipped in front of the Jade Emperor himself!" Peng exclaimed, earning a guffaw from Azure as he, too, recalled the memory fondly.

"If I remember correctly, he was too ashamed to show his face to the Celestial Realm ever again..." The lion demon added, earning a chuckle from you.

At this, you began to slow your pace, sighting your destination a few feet ahead. You relaxed your arms, having unconsciously begun to slightly swing your hands in the grasps of the demons beside.

Azure gave your fingers a soft squeeze as Peng nudged your shoulder playfully, both releasing their holds. The former turned to you, "I believe that we're a few minutes early... Would you be alright waiting here? We won't be but a moment."

At this promise, you nodded and they disappeared into the restaurant, cutting past the line due to their waiting reservation. Taking a step off to the side, away from the main pathway, you glanced up towards the sky.

Orange hues blurred together in the sky, a few stars littered amongst the clouds before the sun had fully set. A breeze drifted by, lifting a shiver from your body. You inhaled.

Hopefully they wouldn't take too long, whilst it wasn't winter, yet, the time was bordering on night, meaning the temperature would shortly drop. You weren't exactly dressed for such conditions, expecting to have been in the restaurant by now, surrounded by classy waiters with indoor heating.

A low whistle caught your attention.

"Looking pretty good tonight, babe," a gruff voice spoke out, belonging to a stranger with tousled hair, "You're seem pretty cold at the moment..."

Not wanting to assume the worst in people, you gave the man a strained smile and offered him small talk, "Uh, yeah—I am a little, but it'll be quite warm in the building, I presume."

"Psh, with a line like that? Sweets, you're gonna freeze out here!" He motioned to the queue of at least 30 people (you vaguely recalled the few online reviews that complained about the horrible lines—well, now you knew why...), "Wha'ddya say, I help you warm up, hey?"

Your heart dropped at the strangers flirtatious tone, fully comprehending that this was not just small talk, "O-Oh! Uh, actually, I'm just... Uhm, w-waiting for my partners..."

In a flash, his face dropped to a scowl. The emotions stirring on his face proved that he absolutely didn't believe that; you took a step back.

"Oh, yeah, sure," He took a step forward, "Reject the guy trying to be nice with some half-assed excuse. I'll never understand assholes like you."

That escalated... to quickly. A sense of fear stabbed through your chest, attempting to further move backwards, but instead hitting the brick wall of the restaurant behind you with a huff.

"H-Hey, chill! I just wasn't interested, man—" You attempted to neutralise the situation, unwilling to let your night take a turn for the worst, before you were interrupted.

"Don't tell me to chill." He sneered, "Bitches like you need to learn your place."

A whimper escaped you, eyes widening as the stranger in front of you raised a hand, palm flat as to hit you. A violent flinch left you bracing yourself.

"What's happening here?"

The familiar voice brought you more relief than it ever had before. Standing between you and your conflict was Azure, posture tall and threatening as Peng waited behind the stranger, having caught his hand in their grasp mid-air.

A visible gulp travelled down the strangers throat, "L-Listen, man; it was all them! You gotta learn to control your partner—."

His nervous laughter was cut off as Peng landed a swift kick to the back of his knees, landing him on the dirty ground and rendering him unable to fight back. Azure glanced back at you.

"Dear, our reservation is ready. You can go inside, we won't take long."

You meekly nodded, kissing him on the cheek before scurrying past the ever-growing queue, following a waitress that guided you to a free table. You weren't certain on the consequences that stranger was earning, but you knew Azure and Peng wouldn't let him leave peacefully. It warmed your heart to know they cared.

[xoivy]

I watched tusk recently and i'm so pissed about the fact that it's supposed to be a horror comedy. It would've been such a good movie without most of the comedy bits and i'm so mad that they thought it'd be a good idea to make it silly and funny so often throughout the movie. One minute you're seeing a madman mutilating another man to fulfill his walrus obsession and the next you see a silly quirky PI speaking in a french accent and ordering the whole menu in a restaurant while trying to very seriously solve the mystery of the walrus loving "doctor". And i feel like the horror aspects really had something going on, like the movie could immerse you in this story it's presenting about the weird old man who seems innocent and cool at first but then is revealed to be a nutjob, but then it'd take you out of the narrative and atmosphere immediately when something silly would happen with wallace's friend and his girlfriend while they're trying to look for him

[bump1nthen1ght]

Hi hi!! I saw that you are taking headcanon requests. I would just like to ask if you could please write about a fem orc (whatever agab) and an ftm boyfriend. I think the switchy things that could happen are just 🫠🫠🫠

Sure thing anon! My first piece for this blog was for a female orc, so it's always fun to come back to them!

Fem!Orc x FtM!Reader: NSFW and SFW headcanons under the cut

SFW

Your girlfriend is a total romantic. She’s showing up to dates with a bouquet of flowers, your favorite dessert, and dressed like a whole SNACK

Her two favorite dates are an extra-fancy upscale restaurant where you can split the lobster mac and cheese and a casual beach date that ends at a dime a dozen crab shack; There is no inbetween

Absolute fiend at the beach; She’s picking you up and throwing you in the water, smacking your ass and helping you burying you in the sand. She didn’t have many beaches growing up, so it brings out her mischievous little kid side

Will definitrlt wiggle her eyebrows and make a dirty joke if you ask her to rub sunscreen on her back, giggling like a highschooler.

But her jokester persona aside, she’s also the worlds best guard. If anyone harasses you too (or, god forbid, flights with you in FRONT of her) expect a strong grip on their shoulder and an intimidating glare.

“I’m sorry, what were you saying to my boyfriend?”

(Yes she is a little possessive, but your her babe! No one elses!!!)

It’s on those fancy dates when she can bust out the sauve, kissing up your arm and laughing at how flustered you get

(Maybe kiss up her arm as well 👀, She’ll stutter and blush like its the first date)

If you’re forward enough to play footsie under the table she’s totally down, though she will be the most obvious person in the world about it

When desser comes out, expect for her to stick out her tongue and expect you to feed her. If you comply, he’ll make sure to take the most sensual bite, licking her lips as she pulls away.

NSFW

Get ready for your strong orc gf to throw you AROUND. If she can throw you over your shoulder, give a strong slap to your ass, she’s doing it

Also likes to spank you while you’re bent over her knee. Especially when she can call you “Naughty boy” ;)

Oral with tusks is difficult, she’d rather stick to hand jobs and fingering. She’s got those calloused fingers and strong forearms, so she can go for a while.

Sparser on the dirty talk, but will encourage you to make as much noise as possible. (“Tell me how it feels baby.”)

If she’s bottoming she prefers doggy style. Not only is it the most efficient with your size difference ( She’s dummy thicc) but she also loves the way you hold onto her hips when you fuck into her from behind. Dig your nails in, jerk your hips, really make her feel it

Loves having her neck kissed. It’s strong, corded with muscle, but she’ll moan so pretty when you lick at her pulse

Though she’s not especially loud. Mostly groans and grunts and swearing.

“Fuck, that feels food babe. Do that again.”

When you’re bottoming, she likes you to ride her. Now she can hold onto your hips, control the pace, and get to see your cute face scrunch up when she hits deep inside you.

(Her strap skills are obviously immaculate)

Also likes having her hair pulled. It can be when she’s on top as a little defiant tug, or a a degrading yank when’s being subby, it’s all good for her

Can’t really sit on your face (once again, size difference) but her fave position ti get eaten out in is her laid down on the bed and you sitting on your knees, especially if one of her legs is hiked over your shoulder. Her subby side can really come out then (“S-shit, oh my god baby”) but she also knows how to take control if she wants to (“Yeah, you like that pussy?”)

Loves washing you down in the shower after some sex and LOVES when you wash her hair. Nothing like a good scalp massage to end a wonderful night ❤️

[plasticfangtastic]

Can We Be Lonely Together? Ch. 12 3/3

A Homelander X Stalker! Reader fanfic

This is a GN reader but male leaning for crackship reasons. this is also a Supe! reader fic

Author's note: YAY!! thank you for making it to the final part of the final chapter, hope y'all like it... there's an epilogue coming btw but its short thankfully! LONG CHAPTER ahead! warning! thank you for reading and I can't wait to drop the 2 fics I got in the works, one is just HomeAsh smut and the other just pure Homie fluff. previous chapter on #my fic tag and #can we be lonely together? tag in my blog.

R18+ Child death mention, child murder, gore, mild gore, murder, smut, Homie OOC towards Ashley, rape mention.

Chapter 12

Cont.

The morning after was without struggles, a new routine set itself after medication and breakfast now the cats needed your attention.

Homelander was still silent, still far away– but John did his best to look strong without his brother’s guidance, yet unable to stop hoping to see his brother's reflection.

You took to work, he said nothing about you entering the labs to pick up supplies, he even gave you his blessing, ensuring the security cameras were off during your shopping spree, the thought of you killing excited him greatly, pent up arousal still burning his loins as all you could muster after last night spat, was a quick fuck in the shower before bed and some head before breakfast, he had cummed but he wasn’t satiated.

Insufficient by all means, you backed up against his hips, the hot water reddening your sensitive skin, squeezing as he threatened to leave only for his hips to smack yours to reassure you that wasn’t going to happen, pumping a single thick load without leaving a bump, you cleaned him with your tongue, making sure to get every nook as he sheltered you poorly from the shower.

Your tongue flicked him awake, squeezing him with all your might as you pumped him messily, letting him watch as you pleasure your throat with his member, leaving him in awe as your nose got tickled by a small tuft of hair, his hand firm against your head as he groaned and hissed as your teeth rubbed his sides awake, holding hands as he came making sure to swallow every splurt and licked every drop you’ve spilled, before he could return the favor– Ryan woke up, so you cut it short this morning.

And then the cats protested, they complained a lot, demanding things after only being here for a day, but you and the kid seemed too happy to please.

It was to be a long day, he worried.

No calls during lunch break, or smoke break, no messages to remind him to eat and that a glass of milk was not a meal.

He knew you had the day off but he still expected something, you failed to reply to any of his messages.

He could feel something pressing against him.

It would be eight o’clock and you still haven’t called home, it was past nine and your phone kept leading to voicemail.

It was almost ten when Ryan asked about you, as he prepared to go to bed, Homelander reassured him that you were at work at Dolores’s restaurant, ordered him to keep the fort and headed out.

He hadn’t want to think about it but his mind betrayed him, did you lie? Were you with somebody else? who the fuck where you with!? his chest puffed the more and more he thought of that nameless woman, you wouldn’t. He was better looking, wealthier, smarter and high specs than some OnlyFans thot– were you trying to get back at him? Even after you forgave him? But the more and more he huffed, the nearest wall cracked deeper under his fist.

He felt that squeeze in his heart.

You've said you liked the difficulty. 

What made this cheap mudperson difficult?

His throat grew an impossible knot, he felt againts the hall wall as he headed away from his apartment, resting his temples as he lost control of his heartbeat.

Boars had tusks to shred you, to impale you, to bleed you with, after all.

There you were lying cold in some rat infested alleyway, the stench of your rotting corpse hidden by putrid piles of rubbish, and wet bitumen.

There was you still crawling, still clinging but too far away, too quiet to catch anybody's attention– not that anybody would care in this city. 

He choked, his mind racing and the ringing in his ear painfully loud at the thought of you calling for him behind red gargles, claws shred his insides.

Heading downstairs to Analytics to find one of your co-workers. Your phone stopped ringing and sent him straight to voicemail.

The man looked up, seeing the alarm in his expression, he was tense and shaky as he took the back of the chair, leaning slightly towards him, the man squeezed his bladder as the back seat cracked under Homelander’s grip.

“Give me the last known location for this cell phone.” He showed his screen to the man– now!”

He jumped and began checking the data, not questioning his motivations or why Homelander had that number saved in his contact as ‘Fiancee’ ; it took a couple of impossibly long minutes before something pop-up.

“It says that is–

“Soho. I know the place…”

Pantingly he looked away, his ears ringing too loud, and each movement felt tight, what could’ve possibly been there left for you? He caught himself as his eyes attempted to squeezed some weakness out of him, as his suit became unberably itchy.

“This phone hasn’t been active since it got there… no tower has picked it up afterwards, sir.”

“Good work. if it moves you call me.”

He was gone before the other man could even muster a response.

In minutes he had crashed on their lavish patio, it’d be another minute until Kent emerged from inside the house.

“I knew you’ve come…” he flashes your phone, the screen cracked– but I can’t help you.”

“Where the fuck is Y/N !?” He growled, illuminating the darkened patio.

“Pusher came by my office around two… by six I was handed this by an old colleague at the Times.” He smacked his lips– I was hurt.”

Untucking a newspaper roll from under his arm, Homelander didn’t care, his eyes glowing brighter than before, illuminating the skin around his eyes giving Kent a glimpse of veins and skullbone.

“God… are you here because you miss that ice queen?”

“My calls keep going to voicemail– even the burner phone.” He muttered– "I can't get ahold of them.”

“Hot damn– I told Pusher to leave you because you were never gonna last… seems I was wrong... you just wouldn’t leave unscathe. You ain’t going to find Y/N, they're gone, probably already got a new name and passport– you think you’re special? Let me guess Pusher said they’ll marry you?”

The light faded slightly, as Homelander shoulders stiffen, watching the arrogant prick get closer.

Thinking of that woman again, your bff would know if you two...

“Before you was a cute aspiring writer, then the librarian, there was a rich baker too, some hot married thing, one who cheated on Pusher so the idiot buried the bitch alive and then had Dolores find them after they clawed their way out, and right before you there was this wannabe self-made trustfund kid– Pusher loves you, cherishes you but the moment you stop acting like the character in the movie they made about you… is goodbye. Unlike them you can’t be killed by traditional means.”

He threw the newspaper at his feet.

“You and Pusher?” John asked, the more this snake spoke the more he wanted to see it choke on its own tail.

“God did you hear anything I just said? Ours was complicated… our relationship is more than… yours, but not at the moment. Altho Pusher did leave you this– took a good chunk of the liquid you had and put in an off shore account, made it seem like an everyday transaction for you, the info its in the note app… something about making sure Vought couldn’t fuck you over. It's not all of your fortune but you and the kid won’t need to think about your grandkids working either.``

Homelander took the phone off his hand.

“I’m not like any of those worthless–

“You’re different? You are not– Good luck finding the idiot… sorry about Vought, tho.”

The way Kent’s body thud against the tiles wasn’t as cathartic as he’d hope for– the slow wind flicked the pages of tomorrow morning’s edition of the New York Times, in big bold letters “The Great American Disgrace.” he crook his head as Kent drowned, as his mind processed the missing half of his body and agonized. 

Glad that this married asshole was away from his pumpkin, he had spent too much time with you… it didn’t seem right, anyhoo. 

He wasn’t like any of those low born mudpeople, he was divinity incarnate, a higher being, you were of the chosen few— so there was no surprise that simpletons did not keep your attention for long– he was better than all those nameless cocksuckers. He was the fucking Homelander but you didn’t answer his calls, this phone who vibrated with a hundred missed connections for some reason had his money, looking around on the device, you also had a few other disturbing things, all of the devices on his name and others close to him were being monitored by you, he ignored it for the moment.

He took the newspaper, seeing a massive photograph of a familiar boy, smaller print in bold highlighted words ‘Operation Patriot and First True American’ the words: inhumane, organized child murders, illegal human experimentations– repeated themselves, but above all… his name… his deadname, the sequence of numbers and placeholders. The entire front page was thousands of letters describing horrific findings… by 7 am the whole country would see this picture of him.

Just a small thing, holding a blue blanket, taken from a security camera, of him alone in a sterile room.

The other images were of his mother sitting alongside two other women, their bellies swollen and their eyes glazed, in drab hospital garbs. Then little kids he had never seen, images of higher quality than those drab 80’s photos.

Homelander sat on Kent’s bench, he had forgetten how to breathe until he was done reading the whole front page did his lungs lived again, flicking to the next one, more images, more names, more women he vaguely remembered, faces, smiles, bodies… names.

Only a few meters from him were a bundle of sleeping children but all he had of his were these grainy images– of little girls with his lips and little boys with his hair, some looked nothing like him until he stared just hard enough to see his chin or ears.

A quiet wail escaped his lips, as he cried into his hand, his eyes flowing endlessly, the more awful words he read, the more Homelander ears rang. Wobbly knees lifted him, catching sight of the illuminated 7, refusing to believe all of this… he wouldn’t crumble… not yet… not until he felt safe. 

He had to protect John, that was his purpose but who was there to comfort him.

Now when he wanted to burn it all.

In a large penthouse Stan Edgar laid asleep.

Jumping as he felt the weight of his bed shift, in the dark he saw red, at the edge of the bed, just watching him without breathing, no hiss escaping his lips– just Homelander… or something worse watching at him with the stillness of statues. 

Edgar took his glasses, finding this sight just as unsettling, not that he let it show, a part of him expected this visit sooner than later.

Homelander and him stood like this for a very long minute, until his arm creaked handing him the newspaper.

He turned the gold table lamp on his glass side table, his bed a velvety plush thing, and his sheets disgustingly expensive.

Homelander muttered nothing, no sound, no movement, he was more projection than physical entity, for once Edgar’s heart rate did pick up at the sight of him, this was not his petulant child. Homelander watched his demeanor break as more and more of his idiot brain processes the information.

“I won’t let you kill yourself, nor am I going to kill you. I want you to see your empire and your legacy burn in front of you… and when you finally could feel even an ounce of my pain… then I’ll watch you beg me to kill you.” he whispered.

“Homelander…”

“The CIA is outside your door– you won’t be doing an Epstein on me, either.”

“This has nothing to do–

“ Your name over and over… Madelyn’s, Jonah, the other cunts in the labs… you… all of you… on page 3”

He stood up with freakish smoothness, his hidden hand threw two sticky wet masses towards Edgar.

“I used to think Earth looked beautiful in outer space… but… is so ugly… is just too cold out there. too cold for them, too” his lip barely move, cheeks stained with trails and trails of dried tears– who knows where they are now… just drifting away endlessly in the vastness of the Milky Way– too far for me to even catch them again.”

Edgar looked down at the mass.

Two hunks of hair, still attached to their scalps, little specks of melted red ice puddled on his quilt.

“Maybe Zoe will hit Jupiter by the time you die. She cried so much when I took her hair off… Vicky too… so I made them twinsies.” he chuckled– it was so sweet.”

Oh he had always wanted to see him afraid, crying, anything but his usual self, but now he did not care.

The man tried violence only hurting his hands in return, Homelander just walked out the front door as he screamed words that meant nothing.

Not staying to watch when the CIA operatives entered the house.

Aunt Mallory awaited him in the hall.

“I always wanted to see Vought fall. Never thought I would see it… or that you would help us get this done so quickly– even if it was on a threat. But I still couldn’t touch you. The Government would like you to take part in the trial– by tomorrow afternoon all of Vought who was involved in those operations will be arrested and charged with… fuck… everything.”

“Was somebody named Y/N L/N your whistleblower? You seen them?”

He was glad to have seen Kent, otherwise he wouldn’t be watching Mallorys response so closely.

“Can’t tell you that.”

so stupidly easy, she was being smug.

“Can’t tell me where my own fiancee is… or should I go get it out of Butcher? He’s downstairs in the lobby.” He sounded raspy as his throat had given up– I’ll testify on the trial… you know the things they did to me wouldn’t get these people more than a couple years without my testimony. If you tell me and grant me immunity… say you find something else… I’ll give you my all and maybe something you’ve wanted too–

Mallory could cream herself at the fantasy, sensing his desperation and in response his willingness to harm to soothe it, she bit her lip.

“Too good to be true. We don’t really need you for a trial y’know once we identify the families of the women and children–

“I won’t let you touch Ryan.” He said calmly, taking a step closer with red in his eyes– You think the CIA is better than Vought? Either I burn this fucking country to the ground and force you to nuke your cities just to see if you could even scratch me, or you agree– or do you think Soldier Boy will help you, after you put him back in a fridge? I’ll be nice if you like, I’ll even  stop compound V production until we can see the outcome of Vought... I won’t hand it to your people or mine– if you hand me the paperwork saying I’m just a poor little meow-meow.”

He spoke so softly even his cursing didn’t sound hateful, in this tranquil tone Mallory froze, his hand lifting her chin slighty forcing her to met the bluest eyes she’ve ever seen, to see this calm sea holding back a biblical flood.

“We can be civil. You got my word.” She bit her tongue– how come you haven’t yet.”

“That’ll depends solely on you.”

“This Whistleblower left before Butcher delivered me the files. Don’t think he would know.”

“Useless.” he grumbled– "I want to see that bastard in jail first, anyhoo.”

Homelander headed to the elevator, his mind trying to hold the avalanche that was John inside of him, to hold himself until he could find a place to scream.

William sat on a couch by the opulent lobby of the apartment complex, finding something comforting in seeing him... now it bothered him too much but Homelander ignored it, already on edge, one wrong word and he would collapse.

“When was the last time you spoke with Y/N?” John said.

“Why the fuck woul’ I tell you?” 

“William. I’m afraid my Pusher lied to you… whatever was said about me is not true, it was just a ruse to get you to do the dirty work.”

Dead, cheating or running away. Homelander would play the one that hurt him the least and the most, he needed to see you, to understand what you’ve done.

“Those bruises looked fuckin’ real to me, mate.”

“Pusher is a Supe– A Telepath probably told you what you wanted to hear to get you to do as told. I just want my fiance back… I… I can’t do this alone…” His expression softened and his eyes stung– did it make you happy? To see those videos? To see my kids die before I knew their names? I haven’t even seen them, just what was said on the papers and Mallory told me.”

“Don’t. You don’t wan’ to see it, mate. I Hate you. I fuckin’ hate you but… your kids… they were gonna do that to Ryan. They was gonna make my Becca into a monster! All she did to protect that little boy just to end up killing him! My Becca wouldn’t have lived with herself… none of those kids and their mothers deserved that.”

Butcher spoke, his voice did nothing to hide the pain he felt over what almost had awaited Becca, the pain and guilt he felt as he once considered handling that kid back to Vought to rescue her back then, Becca would’ve killed herself from grief if not by her own hands if she was still here and saw those videos.

Homelander sat beside him, he had died once tonight, he could do it again, Butcher shaken as he sat on top of his flag that he almost seemed so careful with before.

“I need to see them. William… please… I need to know… maybe it’ll make you happy to see me reacting to it.”

He looked so frail next to Butcher, whomever this was they did not recognize him.

“If Pusher won’t be there for me– can I have you instead? After all, we had something different.”

It made him uncomfortable to hear him say that, whoever this man was... was just a wounded stranger, sitting too close, their knees touching, Homelander seeking for any relief and Butcher feeling his skin crawl.

“It won’t make me happy. I’m not sick like you” He took a cigarette out offering Homelander one the man considered for a strange second or two– After this what are you gonna do?”

“I think I’ll move to the mediterranean with Ryan, the two cats and maybe… maybe two more people… Mallorca… or Valletta… You can visit Ryan if you like… before that golf ball in your brain kills you. You should see the beachest down there… so pretty– but after I find my pumpkin.”

He lit the cigarette on Butcher’s lip, this was it. The end. It sucked for them both.

They shared a sorry laugh, Butcher picturing the blonde in tacky Hawaiian shirts and a burnt tan screaming ‘Expat’ he just didn’t seem like the type to pull it off, unlike himself.

“I’ve been to Greece on my honeymoon…it wont be pretty not with you in it. I’ve called your fiance early, that we had met all their demands. They came soon after and dropped the passwords, then asked my Frenchie for tips to deal with a supe. They fashioned some stuff for a bit then your Pusher left around four.”

“What Supe?”

“Firecracker.”

He scoffed.

You had forgiven John but never did you say anything about her, he stayed with Butcher even after Edgar was dragged in front of them, following him to his office to watch the videos that even his worst enemy didn’t want him to see.

The longer he watched the less he wanted to see, he had left Butcher’s office by dawn.

Butcher feeling not victorious as he watched them, the happy recordings of kids being kids, of kids trying to make their mothers happy, until the tears began, until the blood, and the screams, until they became silence.

He opened the front door for the authorities heading a private tour to appear extra cooperative... the company was a mess, a beehive disturbed by ravenous wasps.

An emergency meeting was called and the news were talking non-stop of him, of the others could’ve been Homelanders, of his mother and their mothers. His aunt was already victim to guerilla interviews unable to understand what’ve happened, the stocks were below red, and their competitors were just waiting to start eating their hot juicy remains.

“We will cease all production on V. until further notice… but honestly I’ll just take my severance package, and let you guys take care of this.” His voice soft– This is over. All of it. No point in crying about it– it ain’t you guys who ought to be crying.``

Ashley whimpered regardless.

“Sir… I would’ve never authorized this–

“You are too weak to do these things. You've been a good girl Ashley… the least I can do is make sure you’re taken care of, I’ve put in a good word that you had nothing to do with this– after all this is before our time” He turned to the others in the boardroom– them on the other hand. After all of you get arrested I’m going to kill everybody you love and feed them to my cats… maybe not tomorrow, or next week– but I will… I’ll fucking let your dogs rape your wifes and send you the videos and maybe send them to your kids.” he chortled– All of you can go fuck yourselves. Now me and Ashley are going to get out, and none of you better make a peep.”

It was quite the scene.

“Ten million should be enough to live comfortably for you, right? Or is that like a lowball amount? With inflation is hard to tell.”

“Excuse me?”

“I won’t hurt you Ashley because Ryan likes you. And your name did not appear anywhere…” he petted her head mockingly– you and I are done… but you’ll have to sign an NDA about the things you covered for me, your last job for me is for you to testify in the trial.”

“Are you doing alright, sir?” She was too shocked to ask anything else– I…”

“No.”

“Hmm… sir, I wanted to tell you before the meeting that Firecracker has been missing since this morning. And one of the guys from Analytics gave me this… address. Said you had requested it but you never answered your phone this morning.”

His mouth crook upwards.

“She left her phone at home. We already had a team out looking for her… is she our whistleblower?”

“Did she have any friends? Any brunettes with freckles and a big ass?”

That rang bells for an odd reason, a girl she had seen hovering around her during recordings.

“Yes…? I think her old editor.”

“Get me her address, I’m going to go deal with them”

There you were again in a ditch, your face gone, Firecracker nowhere to be seen.

Mallory and some other high ranking investigators stood watching closely overseeing the arrests. Their suits filling the halls.

“That one had nothing to do with it.” his thumb pointing at Ashley.

“Any more requests, your highness?”

“Not going to give you the formula for Compound V.”

“Vought and you caped bastards going away sounds like a dream to me… but you kept your word… I kept mine, you will be granted complete immunity even if we aren’t investigating but the crimes against you. We are pinning all of this on the old guard.”

“Enjoy it.” Before he left he turned around– thanks to you the whole country gets to live another day.”

Butcher stroked his temples.

“And he is going to get away with it!? All of it!?” Starlight protested, the rest of the gang sharing her sentiment– Butcher!?

“Is out of my hands. The fuckin’ ‘ead of Homeland Security, the CIA and the president rather he retires to fucking Madeira than risk a nuclear apocalypse! They haven't even begun to unravel Soldier Boy’s abilities, and the Russian’s ain’t helping– you think I want this!?” 

“So what are we gonna do?”

“Nuthin’ we won. Besides… Y/N might be a serial killer…” Starlight and company urged him to continue– couple years ago some writer and their friend were found killed… nobody could describe this Beck Nevere partner, as if they never existed, not their age, gender, color nor height, they knew Beck had a partner–  both the victims social media accounts were clinically scrubbed… talking black-ops level completely fucking clean. They suspected a Supe was behind it but it led nowhere. There were another couple corpses here and there with similar lack of witness accounts. Only one gave a vague description and a name... Pusher.``

Hughie pulled up the sketch composite that Butcher was referring to, it wasn’t perfect and some of the details were wrong but there was a familiarity to the image.

“This cunt went here to ‘elp us get rid of Vought. Maybe they’ll get rid of him too.” he thought of that name the cunt had dropped– He called them ‘Pusher’ I bet if we dig far enough we could find about this bastard.”

He thought of Homelander sitting on that leather couch, wondering who was after who.

As he sat in the archives a metal box opened and its contents carefully placed around him, Homelander would cry alone, at pictures of close strangers, the sound of voices he would never hear down his halls, all the families he could’ve had, all the first he could’ve witnessed, John could had been given all that made him weak, all that would render him needless, but all he had wanted, all their stolen timelines… You had given him a mother… had you tried to bare him children but found this graveyard.. leaving you more frail than wet paper... did you shattered? Afraid he would kill you for this after his mother’s fiasco? Had he finally managed to scare you?

Two men awaited to take some for evidence, but gave him space until he was ready.

By the end of the day, the internet was losing its mind, even his biggest detractors and haters had nothing negative to say about him, before the day ended the whole world saw Homelander as a victim, a man brainwashed, a survivor. 

Theories that the entire internal coup that saw Edgar fall from grace were nothing but a machiavellian plot to take over the company that had caused him so much harm-- it was to be the next best biopic, studios already preparing for the upcoming bidding wars, and publisher eager to jump at him with publishing offers for his biography, it would sell out day 1 if it happened, News channels and celebrities already competing to see if they could get him to sit down for the first exclusive interview.

Some still hated him– but as of the first 24 hrs the public was sympathetic. It would become the popular opinion to not hate him, those who did would be silenced, and eventually it would be taboo to voice it openly, or at all.

His strange quirks and violent outburst now blamed on complex PTSD and trauma, he wasn’t hated nor ridiculed to his surprise, while much of the facts had been sanitized, much of the details to be saved for the trial or for government eyes only– enough was out to paint a horrific image; CNN to Joe Rogan had been given a couple of heavily censored clips, graphic enough that its content was undeniable. The families of the mothers, and his ex-lovers already being identified, the missing women had been given potential and confirmed names in massive reddit and 4chan efforts, faster than the FBI had even if there was plenty of misinformation drowning the main feeds.

He had checked  Firecracker’s friend apartment finding nothing, no struggle, or signs of it that’ve been cleaned, her keys missing but her wallet and phone left behind.

A couple of cigarettes left behind, no lipstick marks left on the buds, Firecracker wasn’t a smoker, he grinned.

He could scan the whole city and eventually find you, but it came to him.

A number he didn’t recognize appeared on his screen.

“Found your bitch, aye.”

Seems Butcher wanted some payback, he was better at this than Homelander after all.

“Love you too. How you get my number?”

The other man was silent at the other end of the line, watching the building you were holed up.

“Your bitch used me. Painted you as some victim to be pitied. Made you get away with all the bullshit you’ve done– I want front row seats to the funeral… found some of your bitch past achievements– gnarly little things.”

“You and me both.” He was to let you explain, to tell him everything before he made a decision on you– thanks.”

“This one is good– but I am better. Gather your team is a bit short of funds and all, just so you know I’m gonna get ev’n.”

He hanged, seconds after Homelander received a text message.

Homelander flew, finding you wet, naked and tired. 

You looked more beautiful than ever before, as you throw your back with each swung of a modified machete, sweating profusely as you bathed in her life, your shoulders burn and you hair clump around your temples... you looked breathtaking.

His ire fading as the sight of you assuaged him, the thought of your arms holding him tenderly... the only place he could cry, of your lips telling him all the things nobody had meant and internet voices were too impersonal to mean much for him, left alone for days, worried sick you’ve been hurt by Firecracker and left dead on some dumpsters, you were safe, you could explain yourself, he could grant you one chance to explain yourself.

You did look so beautiful.

But you were here, breathing, thinking of him still.

They would just be a little upset still.

But you could explain it all... maybe it had been a misunderstanding... maybe you didn't meant it.

And then here you two were.

Dawn fast approaching, the cool breeze rustling your hair.

“Why did you ran away?”

“Killing Firecracker was harder than I anticipated. The fugu only paralyzed her… had to get creative with the saws… took me a whole day to find the right blade. Not to mention I had to kill the friend first. I was so tired I overslept quite a bit. I only caught up until you showed up.” You admitted– I kidnapped her friend, drew her to that safe house, and then you showed up.”

Her heart beat honest, it shocked John.

“I did have to find out a few things about you from Butcher, Kent, my team… you’re certainly a character. So why did you kill your exes?”

You looked away, embarrassed and ashamed to say this outloud, not wanting to talk about past lovers.

“They couldn’t handle my devotion.” Your voice is gentle yet pained–  Too intense for them. I suffocated them and made them feel isolated.” trembling lightly you looked up at him– I loved them too much but they couldn’t muster to return an ounce of what I gave them. They didn’t want me anymore.  Didn’t want to give me my refund. They weren't my true love.'

“So you didn’t get bored?”

“All I wanted was to be loved like I always dreamed to be loved. They got bored of me… they hated me… they couldn’t stand me.” Your eyes watered– But you returned my love, so equally.”

He strokes your hair, tucking it behind your ears.

“You won’t fall out of love with me… even after you erase my memories?” John asked.

“Is nice that you think I can do that– you need it for the trial. Or you meant later?”

“Maybe I want you to kill me instead of killing you, and leave my brother in charge.”

You dropped an imaginary plate, all air squeezed out your lungs, your nails digging on his arms.

“No!! I would not!!” You shouted– Absolutely not!!”

“You did all of this to have me all for you, but maybe I don’t want to be all yours. My brother likes you… he only came back for you, he ignored me for you. You love him, not me. Nobody loves me, I’ll cheat on you again– you can’t win me over not after what you did! I have nothing! Vought! Privacy! This fucking suit!!!”

He whispered words laced with anger and pain.

“Then I will kill the next one, and the one after and the one after that one. Fuck I’ll kill the bitch you stared for more than five seconds at the coffee shop queue if I must. As long as you come back to me John is alright… is you, him and me.”

He whimpered, stifling a tear, the way you spoke so softly, your deliverance continuously painfully honest, hard to reconcile your merciless nature with this one who saw him as their everything, genuinely meant it, who saw him as frail and began to cried at the thought of euthanasia.

“I won’t stop until I consume every ounce of doubt you have.” You mumble– I’ll never ever let you leave. I’ll put you in a glass cage if I have to” you stroke his cheek, clinging to him, a strange white swirl floated in your eyes– All I did was to protect you and us. That man– Butcher… was going to destroy you! I was lucky I gave him those files and made sure no matter what– the whole world would never think of you as evil, thanks to me. I got rid of her because I’m yours… so you didn’t need her… you own me.” Your kisses are so soft on his neck, turning him into glass replacing the old marble– I want to crawl inside you to feel your warmth for your touch is not enough. I would consume you if I could and fill my guts 'till it burst, so you might nourish all of me. Just to be closer to you.” 

Homelander mouth dried, your words clawing at his throat, his hand glued to you feeling his body swirl as you pulled his face closer, gasping with every fond stroke of your lips and palms, the red flickering the more you spoke and his heart thumped, as he struggled to breathe, you sucked it out his system.

Your pretty eyes so white.

–You could have me forever and tuck me in the closet until you need me, and I would be fine with it– I’ll be there for you… ‘cuz I love you and you’re very special to me John, so I’ll just make you come back to me– both of you.” You cried, kissing him more intensely, sussurating into his lungs– I prayed and prayed to all gods for traces of you. I gave up hope… but you found me instead.” you kissed him more, and more, bleeding into his tongue. Harking back at the first moment you met, the moment you heard them both, and your eyes met, that first shared heartbeat– Even my ghost won’t leave you. I promise. Now that the gods have brought us together I won’t let go” you sobbed clinging on to him, that pale light brighter– I was born for you.”

There is a perturbing and enthralling manicness to you, your voice will forever haunt him as it spoke so sweetly, your kisses branding him with iron, you were pulling him closer, swallowing him– it frightens him how unbashedly you yearned for him. 

You were a scary thing.

A monster.

His other half.

He let himself be saved in your arms, his legs giving up, pushing you both into the hard ground.

Your declaration makes his wounded heart thump more alive than it had ever been in forty years.

It wouldn’t heal him, it wouldn’t fix anything, it wouldn’t earn you forgiveness.

But Homelander and John needed this. Always had. Both had seeked this.

He had wanted something awful it seems.

That god would make somebody just for him.

Who had felt the same suffocating loneliness.

And emerged just as awry.

Who would cling to him shamelessly, like he had yearned since the moment he learned he was born from nothing.

Who for forty years had clung to sweet nothing in search for anything, any crumb of something to fill the abyss.

You here wanted to fill his abyss with your own tragedy.

Every sulken glance, every smile, every tear and every kiss… forcibly if you had to.

He needed to be cuddled and held, laughing maniacally as nothing made sense anymore, he cackled in between hoarse sobs, you kissed him, cradling him and swaying him, kissing his tears as he clung to you. 

Looking up, a dying lamp vaguely illuminated above you two, a flickering halo framed you, you watched him with fervor, your lips lifted into a pained smile, holding him as if the mere thought of him touching the ground was killing you, your heart screaming so loudly. 

Oh there it was… he thought, in the depth of all that was you. He finally really saw what his brother saw– Stormfront didn’t look at him like this… not close, not remotely the same.

You were the comfort of the familiar pain.

In the white ouroboros.

You were the Bad Room made flesh.

He was born there… he would die there…

He was inside that room, city skylines and rusted metal replaced by thick white cement walls, the flickering ligths replaced by cool white halogen.

He was born to keep John alive but John never knew how to be without him.

So he continued to be unsure of where to be.

Until you…

In your muddy disguise, without a hint of sanctity, you who appeared so boorish– you were the white walls that’ve birthed him, still chasing after him, a tulpa or demon from within that place.

What were you?

“Don’t be silly. If I was a demon I would’ve joined William’s side. Or tell you not to do the Oprah interview”

Glimpsin into that uneasy white swirl illuminating pupils, he thought. 

Frozen inside this silent room, the buzzing of the air con drilling into his ear.

If his brother had taken the reins before, ran for days and nights, if he had agreed to lie about you before, if all John knew now was on your words– had you forgotten to tell him something? 

What had you two kept to yourselves?

What had you two done while he wasn’t around? What had you shared for his love to infect him? For you to become like this? In his fracture memory he couldn’t reach the answer easily.

You kissed him as he watched the white swirl fade away like a slithering worm taking that unnatural light away from your irises.

With it the world returned.

He squeezed your hand, trying to calm down the oppressive weight in his chest– Oprah… he had already been offered ten million for exclusive first dibs, he could think of that instead of the unknown, as you pressed him against your chest, he could just let you two care for him as you had promise, let him just get the bliss and the fortune.

“Should I?”

“Well we gotta make sure the public thinks you’re a good boy… and if you want to keep killing we got each other... it will be much more fun if we gotta be sneaky about it. Also is Oprah, baby!”

“She’s so lovely, pumpkin.”

It was too much… how can one man, god or not– handle the last few hours, it was too much,  accepting defeat, he could kill you but solve nothing, now he needed your powers.

He had said, himself… now he was a god made whole.

You held him until even his back grew sore.

He thought of waves, of never ending waves, and golden stone, of the cawing of sea birds and the heat on his back.

“You want to move there?”

“It's far away..."

You pulled him closer, as his head rested perfectly against your chest, kissing his forehead over and over until his toothy smile returned.

“You’ll be there to make everything okay… you'll make it okay.”

“I’ll take care of us forever.” your hand holding his cheek– I was put on this earth to care for you.”

To be held was all he ever wanted.

If his brother could hold him… this is how he imagine he would.

He felt the candor of your love, hotter than his own inhuman heat, he knew these frail chains made of bone and glass will not break, he held your collar and you held his chains.

Both visciously clutching on those chains.

Tangling himself further into the uncertainty, but he didn't fear it, he craved it.

Bleeding into his mouth.

Offering your fealty.

Whatever was to happen, whether the world would be blessed with rebirth or survive another decade, hanged on you.

[the-ren-and-stimpy-fan-club]

This the first chapter of my new fic: Le Babouin Ivre! I'll post the whole thing in a week or two on Ao3!! Enjoy!

“Oh crap, I’m gonna be late for work…” mumbled Ren, his tank top littered with dust and stains.

The chihuahua was in no mood to go to work that day; he knew it would just be the same as everyday. His boss would complain about his resentful attitude towards the customers, he would only be paid at most $5 an hour, maybe a little more if he managed to pickpocket someone or find unclaimed change on the floors of the restaurant. The jaded canine knew all of his hard labor would just be enough to buy a frozen pizza, some Corona, some cans of caffeinated cola, and maybe a package of Kents. Ren sighed as he threw on his work uniform and went out to face the cruel, unforgiving world outside.

After five minutes of endless trudging and exhaustion from the burning sun, Ren made it to Le Babouin Ivre. His bloodshot eyes stared resentfully at the cheesy sign displayed for the whole world to point at and mock with no remorse. The sign depicted a baboon, horny as hell, scratching his ass and surrounded by what Ren thought were trolls. Obviously, they were supposed to be attractive ape women, but Ren cringed as he stared at their stupid grins and hairy armpits. As Ren watched the sign flash in neon colors, he failed to notice his boss, Mr. Walrus, flopping up to him.

“HOEK, YOU’RE LATE AGAIN!!!!” the plump walrus boomed, his voice almost successfully rupturing his fragile eardrums. “THIS IS THE FOURTH TIME THIS WEEK!!”

“S-sir, I can explain, really…” stuttered Ren.

“I DON’T WANNA HEAR ANYTHING! THERE’S CUSTOMERS WAITING FOR YOU TO SERVE THEM!!! GET TO IT!!!” yelled Mr. Walrus, his ivory tusks looking ready to strike Ren.

“Sir, what do I do again?”

Ren’s eyes lingered to the restaurant door, which was opening from the inside. A pudgy cat with red and white fur was walking outside in the scorching heat. A large sun hat adorned his head, and a checkered black and white work apron was tied to his waist.

For some reason, the walrus shed his irritation and replaced it with a calm tone.

“Stimpy, my boy! You are one of the fine cooks here at this wonderful establishment! You will create masterpieces, lad! Masterpieces, works of art, and treasures that will be consumed by grateful customers! Didn’t we go over this yesterday?”

“Sorry, I forgot…” the bloated cat said, regret and embarrassment overcoming him.

His emerald eyes then met Ren’s ruby ones.

“Who’s he?” asked Stimpy curiously.

“This is our waiter, Ren Hoek! You will hand him the food when you’re finished preparing it!” answered Mr. Walrus, eyeing Ren with a hint of disgust.

“Why, hello Ren! I’m Stimpson J. Cat, but you can call me Stimpy!” said Stimpy excitedly.

“Can I call you sometheeng more realeestic, like a fat bloated eediot perhaps?” said Ren, slightly smirking.

“GET TO WORK!!!!!!!!” screamed Mr. Walrus as his face boiled with rage.

[raph-fangirl]

Small snippet from Princess x Ares (Demon x Reader) chapter five!

Chapter five will be coming out soon! In the meantime, enjoy this little snippet I whipped up. You can find chapters 1-4 pinned on my masterpost at the top of my page.

Ares took care of the bill, paying with some strange form of monster currency. You caught a glimpse of one of the coins—it was not rudimentary like you might have imagined it to be, but instead it was shining silver with an orc dressed like a founding father on it. You never could have imagined an orc all dressed up to the nines, but there they were, gleaming and refined. They would have looked practically human if it weren’t for their protruding tusks.

After that, you excused yourself to the little ladies’ room. Ares insisted on accompanying you, to “show you how to work something.” You absolutely refused, adamant that you could handle whatever it was yourself. He smirked. “Alright, go on then.”

You humphed, jumping down from the bar chair. As you made your way around the corner to the back of the restaurant, a glowing door caught your eye. It was right where the restrooms ought to have been, but… why was there only one door? Maybe they only had one bathroom. You gagged, thinking about how nasty this was about to smell.

You braced yourself, latching onto the knob and twisting, but as you did so, the door lit up, turning neon green. And a little sign poofed out of nowhere, latching itself to the top of the door. On it was the outline of an orc, or perhaps an ogre, with a spear in hand. You twisted the knob again, this time an aquamarine color shot back at you. Another sign came up of what appeared to be an outline of a more… full-bodied orc. A female, perhaps. 

Another turn, and this time the door burned bright red, blinding you momentarily. You lurched back, covering your eyes, but through your fingers you saw the outline of a stick figure man, like the public restroom signs back home. But, he had a pitchfork in hand, and horns… and a tail with a little heart on the end. 

Maybe after demons, humans were next? you hoped.

You clicked it again, but to your dismay the door turned hot pink and the outline of a demon wearing a skirt popped up.

You humphed, taking hold of the knob once more, jiggling it with all your might. “Human, I need a human ladies’ room please!”

A dizzying rainbow of colors flashed by until finally, it stopped. The door was plain white, with the outline of a lady stick figure on the sign. No horns, no tails, no pitchforks, or spears. You sighed with relief before pushing the door open.

[bracketsoffear]

Gluttony (Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood) "Based on the concept of gluttony itself, all he’s concerned with is eating, especially people. He has a childlike, borderline animalistic character, often asking his siblings for permission to eat the people they come across. Inside of him is a seemingly endless fleshy domain, filled with the chomped up bodies and blood of the people he’s eaten. Yuck. He also has the ability to make a portal over his body that leads to this flesh domain. The portal’s appearance is very “Flesh;” a black void that extends from his jaw to his stomach, lined with massive tusk-like teeth, with an eyeball in the center."

The Lady (Little Nightmares) "Runs the Maw, a floating restaurant that serves disgustingly tremendous feasts to the gluttonous Guests. The menu includes unfortunate Guests and human children, who are kept in cages at the bottom of the Maw, wrapped up in butcher paper, and sent to the Chefs to cook (representing the fear of industrial farming). The Lady herself has a grotesquely melted face underneath her mask, and inflicts the Flesh on children she catches escaping by turning them into Nomes."

[goatpaste]

Menu at the restaurant that cooks stands be like:

•Peanut butter &pearl jam • Tusk cocktail

• Notorious big steak. • Matte kudosai tendies

• Talking heads calamari. • Goo goo tacos

• Metallica & cheese. • Dark blue moon fishburger

• Stray cat salad. • Gold experience tart

Mmm would eat there

How do we make a cookbook zine but specfically for the idea of cooking jojo stands. I would buy it