#Two-way interactive messages
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All this aroace character shipcourse has proven to me that a majority of people that interact in fandom cannot actually interact with characters and media outside of shipping and genuinely I believe you need to learn how to interact with media outside of shipping.
#text#fandom#aro#ace#aroace#aromantic#asexual#this became extremely obvious with Encanto - where the main message of the movie was ignored#and people were so desperate for shipping they started shipping background characters or even the family members....eugh#like at some point you must understand your inability to interact with media outside of a narrow romantic scope is an actual problem#at some point you need to accept you don't ACTUALLY like the media you're interacting with#like genuinely can you say anything else that you like about a piece of media besides the fact you want two characters to kiss?#genuinely i do believe the way some of you interact with things needs to change because it's made fandom spaces literally unbearable#also it has severely limited some of your guy's critical thinking skills#if you want content based around shipping then look at the romance genre it's literally right there for this very reason#shipping just needs to stop dominating fandom discussions and interactions. shipping should not be the main focus of every genre ever ffs#that or y'all need to literally start tagging your shit so that people can actually block it out and find the posts that they want to see
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The unmistakable sound of footsteps approaching begins to fill the air. Whoever is coming seems to have brought some company along…
They are getting closer… and closer… and closer…
…and closer…
……until..................
"Goooooood evenin'!!" Comes the loud greeting from a certain blond man. A big smile on his face and all.
"We beg your pardon for our prolonged absence. It was completely beyond our control..." Then adds the gentleman standing by his side, apologizing on behalf of both, offering a genuine smile along with the apology.
"...BUT! We're back!" And hopefully for good this time…
#[HI HIIIIIII~~ HOW'S EVERYONE DOING?? 8)]#[IDK IF ANYONE REMEMBERS ME OR MY MUSES ANYMORE?? BUT HELLOOO]#[one million years later but we're backkkkkk]#[i'd like to start by apologizing for completely disappearing for months without any announcement]#[life has been far from kind all this year so far and this has greatly and negatively impacted me emotionally]#[like..very VERY badly (harmful stuff and etc)]#[all to a point where i've had to take some time off from most social media]#[and which is also why i haven't checked or replied to any messages anywhere in a while]#[not that i'm the most social and most active person ever but you get what i mean here ;v;]#[the original plan was to come back here like a month or so ago but as you can guess i was unable to due to the same irl issues]#[i'm not gonna lie i'm still not doing well]#[but i wanted to come back or at least try to]#[since writing for these two and the ogre street guys always brings me joy and i also missed everyone here!]#[i'm still unsure if dropping threads will be the way to go for now or not#because i have no idea if my partners are still interested in any threads we had prior my unannounced hiatus]#[or if anyone's still interested in interacting with me and my muses again ;v;]#[so if we have ongoing threads i'll likely be jumping into your IMs over the course of the days to ask about it]#[i just need to check my thread tracker first because i can't remember what i owed last time ;;;;;;]#[as always: we can start new stuff any time in case you're no longer feeling whatever threads we had]#[and we can also start from scratch if that's best too]#[so no worries there!]#[enough blablah from me for now]#[i missed you all so much!]#[and to the new followers this blog somehow earned in my absence: Hi!! Thank you for following and I hope we can interact soon!!]#[hope everyone has been doing great during my absence!! <3]#;speedwagon says (( ic ))#;jonathan says (( ic ))#;ic#(??#;speedwagon withdraws coolly
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Re: harry potter shit ,,, I understand growing up with it, really loving it, resonating with it a lot at one point... to the point that it legitimately could've been a means through which you discovered friends, met people from all over, had tons of fun to escape a bad environment, discovered more about yourself, inspired your own path in life.... it can be meaningful i acknowledge but like. Can we at least acknowledge at that point you've integrated it into your personality. And at that point though, you still have an obligation to excise out of you that which ended up being shitty. I sympathize with the idea of having profoundly genuine love there but guys. We're not *that age* anymore, the age you were when you found it. Life has gotten infinitely more complicated and nuanced and sometimes even ppl who are capable of great creativity, imagination, world-building, and fantasy can simultaneously have views as an adult about the people around them they live in this world with that are incredibly bigoted. I get that we associate levels of depravity on jkr's level with some kind of creative bankrupcy toward an artistic imagination of that which we also associate with deep friendship, love, or connection but like... Hence one facet of the insidiousness of bigotry.
The lesson to take from this is the adult moral responsibility we have and if you have to re-frame that as taking what you truly believed to your core as harry potter's message of unconditional love and friendship over fear, then follow that to its natural conclusion with your re-frame that allows you to say, "yeah no, i really wholeheartedly loved indulging in what i viewed as something that brought so many people together in our respective cozy houses, and silly games, and abiding love for all who enjoyed such a fun, comforting story - but jkr's behavior as a human being completely contradicts the message she tried to sell. I can't stand by the product of something made by somebody who clearly didn't see in it what i did, which was an imperative to fight beside the people you call friends, and trans people are unequivocally my friend." Bro the magic of the stories was always in YOU, my homie.
If you made something part of your personality, ofc calls to excise that would feel painful. No one said you can't ever grieve something like that, its potential ties to someone who used to be in your life, or the way life looked back then experiencing it, unforgettable memories, etc. Fandom is a really cool community.
But understand that the well has been poisoned NOT because of the supposed contradictory -multifaceted- nuance of how jkr is simultaneously the author of an incredibly successful, hard-hitting, and beloved series that many, many of us grew up with and yet she also has hosted and fed directly-hp-condemning tribalistic, purist, exclusionary, reactionary transphobia deliberately chosen over a period of years with resistance from others to legitimatize away any goodwill toward trans ppl and in fact actually is emboldened to humiliate them and use her money proudly and vocally to support whatever will make their lives harder and outright deny and erase their existence.... Understand that the well is poisoned because of how deep the cognitive dissonance is for *you*. Because of how interwoven with your past, present, and at one time a future you believed in it is. Because of how conflicted you feel ethically just knowing trans ppl in your life and in her country who will be affected so unfairly, unnecessarily, and painfully by her desires.
A desire to continue latching onto what hp meant to you, fueling the desire for hp, indulging in it, etc is directly supporting her efforts in a way that is different than any dead artist you could say you love the art of but hate their politics. She has deliberately made it clear that attention, time, money, proceeds, downloads, clicks, views, merchandise, and the way it has gone down in history as such an untouchable piece of fiction are supporting what she genuinely feels is her mission. Supported at the same time by her belief that she is under a "witch-hunt"... meanwhile actual trans people are getting singled out for this and will suffer insane consequences in their material day-to-day life. Figure out what you need to and find a different way to be a different person who embodies what you used to like about it.
There are other fandoms, other books. You want classically beloved children's books from the early 2000's? There are lists everywhere and lots of hidden gems. It doesn't have to be a part of your life forever where you put your head between your knees to distract from the fact that ofc you don't support anti-transness.... you just support this thing made by somebody who made it very clear that devotion to harry potter is devotion to her and her causes. You can say all you want that it means what you want, that still loving harry potter and maybe being vocally against her and being pro-trans causes is helping, but you don't get her little women's center plans smashed if you keep giving it attention.
It's fine to still have love in your heart for it..and that it can be legitimately grief to consider abandoning it and moving onward with your life. It's possible to acknowledge the ppl involved who clearly had good intentions in the piece of children's media they were contributing to. And the many, many lives touched by it. But when you keep it sacred to you, you're keeping her sacred too.
You're keeping her on a pedestal of untouchability bc of her great work as she continues to make it clear that she has obviously moved on from whatever pro-acceptance views were part of it, and intends to use generations of loyalty to harry potter to further her vision of the future. Not your vision of the future? Cool. Consider that maybe with jkr you don't have that home for yourself to be the most loving version of you that those first dives into fantasy initially taught you existed in you and were important.
There are so many other things you can resonate with, I implore you not to let your pedestal of significance be mistaken as an altar for continued devotion or loyalty lest you betray it. She betrayed you, not the other way around. Be angry about it, man. Put the magical fantasy aside for a second just to be angry that there is a part of you that never thought a creator who felt as magical and wise as the characters in her books that guided you growing up could harbor such vitriol for a part of the living, breathing world and people who want happy lives as themselves, comfortably reading their own beloved books in a life that feels safe, affirmative, and protected.
The books made you feel that, no? Turn around and give the same support to trans people, pick up some of the other awesome reads out there, mourn your little mourn for your inner child, and teach that inner child how to be an adult who knows in reality, the way jkr clearly fucking refuses, that nobody deserves to be the target of such profound hate - especially from someone so concentradidly, willing-to-sacrifice-others, powerful on the basis of who they are. That was kinda the lesson from hp, right? That's what we call in deconstruction circles "graduating". You took it to heart.
Now lay it to rest. And move forward - with the fullest "fuck jkr and fuck hp" you can - to let her hbo shit die, and her next cash grab, and the next one after that.
#abby op ed#fuck jkr#fuck harry potter#hope this helps somebody make that switch and be at peace with it#with time and stuff one can grow to comprehend the messaging even within hp that has issues#but for so many it's lowkey ingrained in them as a person so i feel like key to helping that is helping them understand at this point#that you it can still hold a place of importance for you for what it used to be to you#the point is to grow up and begin to scrutinize your sense of cognitive dissonance as originating from a place wherein you clearly#perceive value but not from jkr herself yet the two are inseparable and divorcing from what hp was to you to embrace your values now#is critical to ensuring that you have integrity behind what you say when you say you dont stand behind jkr#i tried to be good faith here but the sad reality is that at this point ppl prolly dont care much if theyve seen all jkr's shit and still#choose sentimentality and nostalgia#but i cant help but feel like ppls reluctance is due to lowkey enmeshment of it w their personality#how many of them say “we grew up w the books so it's part of us”? lowkey formative influence. & now they prioritize comfort i suppose#seen ppl argue they dont spend money on it either tho but the point is the devotion and loyalty#ppl spend time arguing in circles abt how they way they engage with hp isnt promoting harm as if they#aren't literally carrying water for her & emboldening other ppl's excuses for as to why it might be ok for THEM to still indulge it#the time spent justifying continued interaction w hp reads as supportive no matter how many times you say “but f jkr tho”#bc in her literal fucking words that's the shit she sees as intrinsic loyalty & that image is what's being capitalized on.#cool you didnt buy the books great. you're still supporting the flame of loyalty burning on that she uses to burn down trans ppl
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it's amazing how almost all of my friendships (and by almost all i mean Every save like three) are ruined by my own self essentially swerving into a wall and crashing on purpose due to my inability to believe my company could ever be even slightly desirable to anyone and i'd rather just burn it all and die than see myself as someone who intrudes and abuses people's kindness out of my own selfish desire to want companionship.
#i was going to post something similar the other night but i fell asleep instead#but i was thinking about how truly all cases for me boil down to#>i talk with someone and we have a great time >they express a level of joy in interaction >i get weirdly attached too quickly#>i am comfortable enough to openly be myself which inevitably ends on a weird interaction >i talk too much and am too clingy#>i convince myself that that was actually awful and annoying and not something anybody wanted to hear#>i decide to leave and never be seen again because i don't want to be hated more than i already am in my head#>i am miserable because i really wanted to keep talking to that person#i just had a random two day-long chat with someone who messaged me and we had a good time talking about chainsaw man#and it truly took not much time for me to start going off about other shit until i noticed replies got so much shorter and alienated#and i just stopped altogether. because yeah man you're not here for this and you're probably too polite to tell me to go fuck myself so#i'll just do it for you.#and I KNOW that that's a me problem.#I KNOW that that's my own brain convincing itself that i am worse than i actually am in the eyes of others#and i am AWARE of how unfair that is to anyone else. it speaks to a clear lack of trust that is also my fault#but there's also a reality that i'm just. Not someone that people are particularly Excited to talk to#and i feel like i've wanted nothing more than that ever since i lost it when i was 15 years old#i am Tolerable at usual and a Cartoon Clown at best. and none of those serve as particularly deep connections.#and i know that that's once again a me problem. and i shouldn't ever place that expectation on anyone. that is not fair. and i try not to.#but like. is it bad for me to want that to begin with?#should i just abandon the idea altogether and accept that yeah i am just destined to be a crazy hermit murmuring ramblings by themselves#is that the Morally correct thing to do? to just be alone? that's for sure what it feels like to me#that yeah that's what my life is always going to be. no joy in connection or sharing. just an endless stream of thoughts by myself.#that way at least my life won't get in the way of anyone else's lives.#and like. i am always hoping that someone would make a deliberate attempt to reach out to me even if i'm hell bent on isolating myself.#because that would be a proof that someone cares enough you know? that I Am an active choice that someone makes.#but that never comes. and that's not something that would be fair for me to expect or ask for either. would it?#might as well hope for a unicorn while i'm at it.
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hello should i read radio silence
YES ‼️
#was going to expand on this but i found it funnier if i didn't#here is me expanding on it#it's very soul-fulfilling#would you like a synopsis? you're about to get one.#frances (protag) is a long time gifted kid.. straight As.. set to go to cambridge.. academically thriving#aled (protag) is the anonymous creator of podcast 'universe city'#radio silence is their two worlds colliding#it's very british very warm very validating for anyone who has Experienced the education system#alice oseman writes in a way that just. really fucking resonates#it feels like an easy teen read. but then. it sticks with you for life.#idk if that convinced you but i love it absolutely#as someone who is going to uni in a few months it feels very relevant#hope that is enough of an answer#also HI ive been seeing you around lots but have not interacted in ages sorry 😔#always always welcome to message me abt a) the book b) anything#aaaa hope this was helpful im very honoured you seem to trust my opinion#lots of love and if you read it i hope you enjoy it!!!#<3#WAIT I FORGOT#its also queer fr and in a very warm accepting comforting way#it also has carys. who is a badass
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begging all yall twitter artists to post whatever you post on twitter to here as well (so i can properly comment in the tags)
#the two things tumblr has over twt are the tags (number 1 feature fr) and the ask box#twt is so eugh. i have to REPLY??? to things to show support? RTing feels so impersonal sorry#if i want to talk to someone whose interp i admire i have to message them???? screeching in tags whenever they post isn't enough??#would prefer to crawl into a hole for the next year thank you#twt also feels so closed off like the only people in the replies are op's mutuals and that's it.. everyone's in their own little friendgrou#no communal enclosure and a lot less interaction between people who make 'content' and people who consume it it's aaaaaaaaa#it just feels a little impersonal and divided idk OTL i much prefer tumblr where i can see the Thoughts tm of rebloggers#it's cute that way . i'm sure everyone looking at a piece of art or writing has thoughts and it's nice seeing what peoples reactions are#not just a one way street yknow?#anyways.#ramblings!#genshin impact#yes this is primarily because all the genshin artists are on twt the semi bane of my existence
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ykw actually I am angry + disappointed w them. I've been pushing how I feel aside and trying to make it my own fault so it's all contained but I think theyve just been mean. and they really should know me better ik I try to pretend I don't expect more from them so I feel less hurt when they do things that upset me but we've been friends for years by this point. like come on.
#just got home and went to put my shit away but my flatmate was in the kitchen and i got suddenly so mad i had to walk back out#not going to do or say anything while im this upset. i need to be a lot calmer before i can even be in the same room as her#like okay. so originally it was just the two of them getting drinks and theyd rather it was just them bc i dont drink. thats cool#it wouldve been difficult for me to join them after work bc travel. and ik theyd done this before just the 2 of them and had fun#i can fully respect that its why i said no and stuck by that decision when she asked again#but to not mention she was taking the day off work and btw i just found out that BOTH of our other old flatmates joined in too#to not mention that they were travelling that entire distance and that it wasnt just drinks it was a whole day out together#thats just mean. why wouldnt you tell me that why did none of them say anything.#and the fact they did the exact same fucking thing last weekend too i didnt know about that at all#like i need to stop trying to justify it. im allowed to feel unwanted and excluded bc thats exactly what theyre doing.#im tired of feeling like other people dont want me around. i know i can be difficult and annoying sometimes. but im really not that bad#and we're meant to be friends!!!!!! like youre supposed to like your friends. and want to spend time with them. or at least i do#and yeah everyones annoying sometimes thats just part of being alive ur supposed to tolerate it if ur friends#im allowed to want to feel like im wanted. im allowed to want ppl to care abt me. that shouldnt be too much to ask for#but the overwhelming message im getting at the moment is they dont want me around. and when i am around them i feel like they dont listen#to me and that they dont really care how i feel unless it directly involves them or theyre responsible for it#i feel like they dont see me as a real person that exists. only a version they have in their heads and they base all their assumptions and#decisions off that version instead of directly communicating with me. and constantly avoid me under the guise of 'giving me space'#when im upset or having a difficult time and most need support from other people. i just feel really unseen#and ik that part of how i feel IS exacerbated by insecurity and depression. like they do care to some degree#but also a lot of it is evidenced in the way they act towards me. mainly my roommate bc shes the person i interact with most#and personally i find the most direct ways of showing u care abt someone are showing up for them. and making them feel seen#and maybe not everyone feels the same way. but thats how it works for me anyway#so to repeatedly exclude me and avoid acknowledging that ive been having a difficult time is the opposite of that to me#which is the point im trying to arrive at... sorry ik ive probably said similar things repeatedly the last few weeks but i feel like its#crystallising a bit like this is the core reason why im so sensitive and reactive atm and why i got so upset by it#idk. not tonight bc im still very emotionally raw but maybe tomorrow if im calmer i should explain that i was upset + why to her#i avoid doing that so often when im upset bc i dont think theres much point in having a conversation abt it unless u expect some kind of#resolution from it. or if you want an apology but idrc abt being apologised to the crucial thing is what theyre going to do different#and i love her but shes very resistant to changing her behaviour bc of other ppl being upset by it. and like i said before she has
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the problem with being an artist online is that people will sometimes start to treat you like you're a thing to demand content from instead of a person, which is the main reason I don't want to have a 'personal identity' on an art blog, like I'm so disinterested in letting people feel too comfy about being even ruder than they are in my inbox on my history blog. I also singled out my history blog here, but I also keep getting anons demanding more musketeers are and it's pissing me off. you are not exempt from the I Dont Take Requests statement in my pinned. either give me a book about french architecture and room interiors from the relevant century or begone
thankfully. that is a very small drop of water in a very large ocean. like, if it was exceedingly annoying, I would not be rewatching the show. the agrippa/octavian people were so fucking rude that they're banned from my blog unless it's as a thank you piece for someone
#like i fully feel way more casual about interactions on my main art blog#or even on twitter! i reply to DMs on twitter semi regularly!! usually it's just other artists but the casual nature of twitter is like#yeah okay i'm cool with this. anons on tumblr assuming a demanding tone as a joke is Not Cool and I Dislike It Immensely#it only EVER happens on my history blog tho like what is in the water that brings that attitude out#it could also be that the fandom i draw most art for on my main art blog#is mostly inhabited by people in their 30s or have long established fandoms#like the jsamn fandom has been SO nice and i am having a very good time so far#but the three musketeers fandom keeps sending rude messages demanding more art from me. i usually delete it#my favorite tho is the tomb robbers one. i like it there#ANYWAY. i spent too much time navel gazing abt how i feel in two different spaces#but this is in fact why i originally split those two blogs up. i KNEW that history tumblr was going to annoy me
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hey not to sound rude or anything it’s just a critic that i would like to share with you bc i feel like you write too much detail about other things that aren’t really how do i say it not important to the storyline. for example you wrote almost a whole chapter of jk and his friends doing absolutely nothing other than bicker for 30mins while drinking beer and what not so while it’s cool and very important for us readers to know about some details and information about the characters in the story it’s just too much and you did it again in chapter 7 too it’s like we never get to see him interact with oc more than 5 mins and the next moment he’s with his friends or idk she has to work on this and that like i get it she has to work but i don’t need to know the equipments. again im not trying to be rude or discredit you i love your story it’s very interesting i just want to let you know what you might do better next time if you would allow us to criticize you :)
hii, thank you so much for your insight!! i really appreciate it, although i am sorry those scenes felt excessive for you. they're meant to visualise the atmosphere, introduce you to the characters, build on their personalities, and strengthen the storyline, so it isn't just two-dimensional cardboard cut-outs interacting with each other in a vacuum. i'm hoping for full immersion into this universe with the way i write, but i understand if you're mainly interested in the two main characters interacting -- that's obviously totally fine! thank you for reading so far, anyway! 🥰❤️
#ask#anonymous#taexual; sleepwalking#ah i guess i'm striving more for literary fiction rather than just romance with this one?#so the pace stays as realistic as possible and the characters think A LOT.......#and most of the facts are supported by examples#so you won't have to just take my word for it later when i claim that the OC has a good relationship with the rest of the staff#or when JK claims to have something in common with his friends that isn't just Being Male (even though that's basically it tbh lmao)#you won't have to assume these things because you've read about them before#me and flimsy comments to push the plot don't get along#most of what happens is Substantial and it is Explained & Explored in the perspective of the characters#yeah idk i like to write#i like to imagine#i like to think#that's why it's long and that's why it's slow burn#so i am really very sorry if you were looking for something different!:(#but again i thank you for this message! i will still take your words into consideration regardless 🥰#there will obviously be a lot more of direct interactions between the two main characters#if you're willing to stick around for it!!#i'm grateful either way!
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anessa and v being friends since childhood and her following v down whatever path they choose only for her to be a twist villain is so messed up by the way. who did that
#walks away#she works under joseph (other oc).. i think he put some nasty ideas in her mind in hopes of turning her into an assistant of sorts#only for her to turn around and shoot him in the back. which is funny. because in her true ending.#v shoots her in the back of the head. LOL.#this is what happens when you have a dangerous girlfriend who's an ai in a human-like body#by the way joseph is like her creator/father. he upgraded her parts as she and v grew older.#v also saw him as a pseudo father figure (nomad/streetkid) and a fixer (corpo)#joseph#since he's mentioned#(shakes head smugly) i've also thought about v romancing the other characters. br1de always thought they'd get together but she's not upset#however since she lives with V whenever dates happen you have to message her like heyyyyy dont come home im trynna get it.#some times she'll reply back other times she won't#she also has a spawn chance of interacting with v's partner when v goes to their apartment(s)#you can hear them talking from the front door and when V enters she's like okay you two dont have too much fun without me i'll get jealous😏#also you can only get her true ending if she's romanced LOL#(walks away cause i got shy about how much i'm talking)#anessa
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first year!gojo who avoided you for the longest time when he first came to jujutsu high.
first year!gojo who would not-so-discreetly straight up stare steal glances at you
first year!gojo who would stutter and stumble over his words whenever you tried to talk to him. it was to be expected, seeing as he hadn't been allowed to interact with anyone outside of his clan before.
first year!gojo who tried so hard to flirt with you. his only help were two very amused classmates.
“Are you…uh..are you a domain expansion?” he asked, eyes wide and hopeful.
You stared at him. “What?”
He cleared his throat. “Because…being around you makes me feel like I accidentally activated mine…or something like that,” his voice lowered with each word.
Geto was choking on his drink in the background. Shoko was muttering something about losing brain cells.
first year!gojo who had awkwardly begged yaga to assign you both missions together. yaga was too done with everything to refuse.
first year!gojo who would save you from a curse and then trip over his own feet after. it was not as charming as it seemed.
first year!gojo who learned after 13 failed attempts that perhaps suguru wasn't the best dating coach and turned to google instead.
which is why you found him staring at a vending machine with the intensity of a man pondering the universe.
“What are you doing?” you asked.
He turned dramatically, eyes wide and eyebrows dampened with sweat as if he got caught in the act of a crime.
“I was..uh.. deciding what snack to get. For you. For… romantic purposes.”
You blinked. “For me? Why? I don't get it?” Because teenagers were very oblivious back in 2013 or whenever this happened.
“I read online that the fastest way to a woman's heart is through her stomach. Or was it a man's heart?”
first year!gojo who didn't really look you in the eye for two weeks after that.
eventually, because first year!gojo was so weird around you, you had to ask,
“Why are you so weird around me?”
He opened his mouth. Then closed it. Then did it again.
His cheeks turned pink. “B-Because you're like… cool. And pretty. And fun. And when I talk to you, my brain turns into Windows XP error noises.”
You smiled, because this was W rizz back then. “...That's actually kinda cute,” you muttered.
Gojo.exe stopped working. Geto kept shouting at Shoko for system reboots.
first year!gojo was a boy who didn't know the true extent of his cursed technique, but was still just as deadly because of his access to wifi and confidence.
a/n:- thanks to @jeonwiixard for listening to me brainstorm and spam her with messages. is this worthy as the first fic after a break?
@/strangergraphics for divs
#in print#gojou satoru x reader#jujutsu kaisen gojo#gojou x reader#satoru gojo#gojo satoru#gojo x reader#satoru gojo x reader#jjk gojo#jujutsu gojo#jjk#jjk x you#jjk x reader#jjk fluff#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo satoru x reader fluff#gojo satoru x reader#gojo satoru x you#gojo fluff#satoru x reader#jjk satoru#jujutsu satoru
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𝐂𝐀𝐓𝐂𝐇 𝐌𝐄 𝐈𝐅 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐂𝐀𝐍
- sylus x reader
when your husband went away without so much as a proper notice, you thought you wouldn't forgive him so easily. but he tries everything to capture your heart back: spoiling and indulging you… little do you know that he expects a reward in return
genre/warnings: 18+ suggestive content—minors do not interact!—rotten fluff, domestic bliss, explicit smut, cunnilingus, fingering, mating press, taking elements from sylus' card night of secrecy, secret times approaching dusk and spoilers! from myth beyond cloudfall
note: my first sylus x mc fic! with this i'm spreading the soft!sylus agenda and that spicy 4-star approaching dusk has destroyed me :') loosely based on this post
Sometimes, you do wonder... does Sylus really think you're that easy to placate?
On one chilly morning, you woke up only to discover your hunk of a husband gone... and in his side of the bed, a sticky note.
Your eyebrow twitched as you read the audacious message scrawled on it:
Hey, kitten. I need to leave for a few days. There are things I have to handle on my own. Take care of yourself while I’m away. I’ll come back soon.
That was it. No clear explanation, no further details. Just those vague words in such short notice. The day before, he’d seemed like his usual self, not a hint of this sudden departure in sight.
It irked you. It made your heart clench at the same time. Because even after marrying you, Sylus remained elusive, playing his cryptic games. It was beyond you how he didn't even stop to consider how you were left worrying about him while he drifted in and out of his dangerous world without a second thought.
You understood the reality of your lives—that you were a hunter and he was the Onychinus leader, and that to be with him meant you had to walk that fine gray line between light and dark.
And you'd already made your choice. You had accepted it—accepted him—wholly. Even when your marriage had been a rushed affair and registered under false names to protect both your identities.
Things couldn't go on like this. You had to teach him a lesson too.
As your irritation simmered into determination, a devious plan began to take shape in your mind—a way to spite him just enough to make your point crystal clear.
Two days later
Sylus was done with his dirty business faster than he thought, and to appease you, he had come bearing gifts.
The precious little thing that is now his wife, of course he missed you too. But your safety was a price he wasn’t willing to gamble. If going away to take care of those pests meant your peace would be unperturbed, then he would leave without hesitation.
However, as he stepped inside the base, his relief quickly turned to unease. The space was eerily empty, the usual hum of activity conspicuously absent.
Normally, you’d be at the center of some commotion, locked in a spat with either Mephisto, or Luke and Kieran. But now—
“What do we do?! She’s gone!”
Sylus immediately rushed to the source of the ruckus, thinking something bad had happened to you. He found his henchmen standing in a tight, anxious circle around the coffee table.
“What happened?” he demanded.
Without a word, they stepped aside, revealing the object of their concern: a single note lying on the table.
He snatched it up, scanning the words. Then, he let out a sharp exhale of relief, a smirk began tugging at the corners of his lips.
Catch me if you can.
Typical. Absolutely typical. And maddeningly you.
. . .
That night, you had a very strange dream, it felt almost felt like stepping into the pages of an ancient tale.
You were a fallen princess wrongfully accused as a sorceress, who began consorting with the fearsome fiend from the Abyss.
The sorceress and her dragon. Together, you were an infamous pair, a dark legend whispered across generations. Your union had ignited Doomsday itself... and yet, amidst the turmoil and destruction, the sorceress fell in love with the dragon... deeply and irrevocably.
The dragon, in turn, was utterly bewitched by his little witch. He indulged your every whim, no matter how mischievous or perilous, and though he rarely spoke of his true feelings, he always found ways to show his affection.
The lucid dream felt as though it might go on forever, but you were pulled from it by the soft brush of lips against your forehead. The warmth lingered, blurring the lines between dream and reality, until your eyes fluttered open.
“Sylus...?” His features, fresh from your dream, now materialized in your reality. It took you a few seconds to realize that he had come here—
“Morning, sweetie.” His voice was rich and smooth, with that familiar, mischievous edge. A smirk curled on his devilishly handsome face as he leaned in, garnet eyes gleaming with playful intent. “Caught you now, hmm?”
The haze of sleep vanished in an instant, and you were suddenly wide awake. In a flurry, you shoved him away and turned your back on him, trying to regain some semblance of control.
You’d left the N109 Zone for one of his safehouses in suburban Chansia City, thinking it would take him some effort to track you down. Clearly, you’d underestimated him.
“Oh. The kitten is in a bad mood, it seems.” Sylus’ gaze lingered on you, amusement flickering in his eyes. “Well, what do I owe the ire for?”
“...”
“Silent treatment, huh? The lady of the house is getting better at our little games while I was away.”
“...”
“Remember, sweetie, there’s no divorce in our relationship, hmm? If you’re tired of me, keep taking naps.”
You felt the weight shift as he rose from the bed and stalked away. The door clicked shut, leaving you in the silence of the room.
You wanted to resent him for coming and going on his terms, for never offering even an apology. Yet, no matter how much you tried, a part of you remained hopelessly tethered to him. The part that couldn’t ignore the reminder of the dragon from your dream—captivating, powerful, and infuriatingly hard to resist.
You love him, really you do.
. . .
When you didn’t come down for breakfast some time later, Sylus barged into the room once again, and this time he came up with a different approach.
“My lady,” he began, his voice sickeningly low and sweet, but his eyes gleamed with a touch of mischief. “You haven’t had breakfast yet. Please come down.”
You shot him a look, unamused, and decided to play his game as you crossed your arms together. “What if I don't want to?”
His smirk only grew, his tone dripping with mock formality. “And what must I do to change your mind?”
Despite yourself, you couldn’t help but notice his persistence. He had chased you here, given you more time to sleep in, and now stood before you to get you to eat. You felt your resolve beginning to soften—maybe just a little.
“Carry me there,” you said with a hint of defiance, lifting your chin high, daring him to follow through.
Sylus tilted his head, failing to restrain his snort. “As you wish, my lady.”
He placed his arms around you effortlessly, one hand beneath your knees and the other supporting your back, lifting you into a flawless princess carry. You instinctively put your arms around his neck, and he turned to you.
You opened your mouth, ready to fire off a sharp retort, but before you could, he dived in—
Smooch!
—and planted a bold, wet kiss on your lips. You, wide-eyed, punched his chest in retaliation. “Sylus!”
He chuckled, entirely unfazed. “Careful now, sweetie. Wiggle too much, and you’ll fall.”
He carried you downstairs, effortlessly navigating each step with you still in his arms. Once there, he gently set you down onto the dining chair, and that was when you noticed the table.
Salad, slightly burnt toast, scrambled eggs, milk—simple dishes by all means, but the thought the big, bad Sylus making them?
Wait. When you arrived last night, this place was a dusty shell, and the refrigerator had practically nothing—
“You cleaned the place?” you asked, your tone laced with surprise as your turned from the spotless room to him.
He shrugged nonchalantly. “Why is that so surprising? I can cook and clean just like everyone else.”
It sent a wave of warmth through your chest. He’d prepared food and cleaned the place knowing you’d be hungry and uncomfortable with dust all around.
You huffed, trying to hide how your heart fluttered. “No, your cooking skills are questionable at best.”
As if to prove you wrong, Sylus disappeared into the pantry and reemerged with a tray of warm, freshly baked dough that filled the room with a heavenly aroma.
“You are... baking?” You approached him, mystified at the sight of your husband, who usually at the scene of crime, behind the counter and started frosting the cupcakes.
He set the frosting bag down and picked up a cupcake, holding it to your lips with a teasing smile. “Here. Open up.”
Dutifully, you nibbled on the cupcake, and the sweetness immediately spread into your mouth. “It's tasty,” you mumbled, blinking at him. His eyes crinkled with satisfaction as he gestured toward the tray.
“Go have some more.”
Grinning, you grabbed another cupcake and eagerly took a bite. Munching away, you missed how Sylus’ gaze softened, his bright red eyes focused solely on you.
He couldn't resist pinching your full cheeks at that moment.
“Sy-wus!” you protested, glaring at him. His laughter broke free that instant, warm and unrestrained.
Utterly funny, utterly precious—that’s what you were to him.
Indignant, you scooped up some icing from the cupcake and smeared it right across his face. The stunned look he gave you was priceless, and before he could react, you burst into a fit of giggles and bolted out of the kitchen.
But as you reached the base of the stairs, a strong arm caught your waist from behind, halting your escape. You squealed in surprise, “Noooo!”
Sylus leaned closer and pressed you to his chest, his voice rumbling in your ear. “Ha. Did you really think you could get away that easily?”
He lifted you up with one arm and brought you back to the kitchen, setting you down on the counter and trapping you in place with his arms braced on either side. His eyes sparkled with mirth as he leaned in, and with a grin, he bumped his frosting-smeared nose against yours, leaving a sticky smudge.
“This is unfair!” you protested, still caught in a fit of giggles as you looped your arms around his neck for balance. Sylus chuckled along with you, his gaze steady and warm, never leaving yours.
Being with Sylus in the kitchen like this, savoring simple meals and smearing each other with frosting, it made you realize that you craved this domestic bliss more than you thought.
As the laughter subsided and you both settled into the quiet, your expression softened, all your previous grievances forgotten. The tenderness in your eyes said everything you didn’t need words for, and Sylus could see it clearly—you adored him, just as much as he adored you.
The one who gazed into his jewel-like eyes, embraced his burning soul and sang to him in the night wind... is once again in his arms. A part of him was almost sentimental at the thought.
Instinctively, he closed the distance between you, his lips hovering just a breath away from yours. But as they were about to meet, he paused, as if hesitating, leaving you puzzled.
Then, without a second thought—
To hell with it.
You chose to abandon all senses. You seized the moment—yanking him to you and capturing his lips, claiming him for yourself.
“…!” Suck, suck, bite, suck— You were relentless, and you didn't really know why. At first, even he was taken aback, but then his hand slipped behind your head, fingers threading through your hair as he deepened the kiss, his tongue tangling with yours in an intoxicating rhythm.
“Mmm...” You sneakily began to undo the buttons of his shirt one by one, your fingertips grazing his warm skin with each deliberate motion. Feeling it, Sylus broke the kiss just enough to smirk, his voice husky. “Getting bold, aren’t we?”
But before you could respond, his hands trailed down your sides, firmly pulling you closer, leaving no space between the two of you. His gaze burned with desire, as if daring you to keep going.
Then, without warning, his lips began their descent, grazing your jaw softly before trailing down to your neck and chest, leaving a trail of warmth and shivers across your skin. The feeling was intoxicating, even as his hair tickled you, making it hard to focus on anything but him.
“Ahh,” you couldn’t help but sigh, pressing him closer.
His lips left wet marks on your neck, and he whispered, “Now tell me... what made you so upset that you left home?”
When you didn't answer right away, one of his hand slid beneath your blouse, unhooking your bra and grazed your skin—
“You... keep coming and going as you please...” you stammered, feeling him begin to cup and squeeze your breasts, your breath growing erratic.
Sylus bit down on the skin at the nape of your neck, and you almost gasped.
“It's almost as if— Mmm—” The way he fondled your chest made the space between your legs grow warmer. “—you wouldn’t... miss m-me at all...”
How untrue. He stopped his ministrations, and the steel behind those eyes you loved so much met your gaze once again.
His wife was a mess of sweat already. He swiftly hooked your thighs around his waist and claimed your lips once more. With effortless movement, Sylus guided you to the long recliner in the room, laying you down there, still lost in the heat of the kiss. His hand intertwined with yours, pinning you to the soft surface.
“So...” he rasped, breathless against your lips, “You’re upset that I didn't miss you when I was away...”
His other hand worked to unzip your skirt. “But don’t you know? I... was worried about my wife getting into trouble when I wasn’t with her too... That’s why I was in a hurry to go home...”
Sylus pulled away, both of you panting for air, and he took a moment to savor the sight of your glazed eyes.
“But then I couldn't find her anywhere.” His voice was low and taunting, trailing his fingers on your belly. “I made it back as soon as I could, just like I told you and you are the one who misbehaved... Don’t you think I deserve something as a compensation?”
It took you three solid seconds to realize that the lower half of your body was now exposed. Your husband parted your legs and settled his face between them, pressing a kiss on your knee.
“So I believe at the very least... I deserve this.”
He dived straight for your clit then and you let out a loud gasp.
“Ngh! Aaah...!” You let out incoherent moans as he devoured your folds, lost in the cloudy haze of pleasure. It didn’t take long to unravel you at all.
“Mmnh—!” Your eyes almost rolled to the back of your head. Ticklish, hot, wet— all in all, it felt like a sin, but you just had to get this heavenly taste. “…a-ah!”
Sylus felt how you were this close to get your orgasm, so he moved faster, licking and sucking your clit, while adding a couple of fingers to bring you to the peak faster. You unconsciously moved your hips against his face— too far gone to be thinking anything else, grasping the leather of the sofa and pulling his hair—
“Ahh— S-Sylus!” And then you came hard, screaming his name, feeling how much it was— were you squirting?
You didn't know, didn't care either, as it was the sight of his ruby eyes that grounded you. You were spent, spread on the sofa (most probably ruined it, even), your chest heaving to catch your breath.
Sylus let out a low rumble as he wiped your juices off his lips with a thumb and tasted it, looking so sinfully sexy like a forbidden fruit while at it.
“You said... I wouldn't miss you.” He traced one finger on your face with such tenderness. “Now, I'm going to show you, and you'll be judge of it. Are you sure you don't want me to stop?”
If you said no, he would comply. That was the kind of person he was and you knew it. Sylus had always looked out for you since the very beginning, no matter how nonchalant he made himself to be.
“No.” You met his eyes, your voice steady. “Show me.”
It was the only affirmation he needed. He began unbuckling his belt and pants, keeping his unclouded gaze on yours, and soon he too was bare before you.
He was thick and long, and while you had taken him many times, it was never fully easy to ease the intrusion. His tip was already slick with precum, and he spread it along his length.
“You know the rule,” he murmured with a meaningful smile. “If it becomes too much, you scream, and I'll stop.”
He positioned himself at your entrance, sliding in slowly. The sharpness of the stretch seeped into you bit by bit, and you couldn't help but groan.
“—!” A sharp hiss escaped you as he fully sheathed himself inside, hitting that sensitive spot. Had your eyes deceived you, or was there a slightly noticeable bulge in your belly from where he was?
Sylus seemed to notice it too, but he folded your knees, spreading you further. His gaze intense and filled with something deep, something possessive. The room seemed to narrow, your entire focus consumed by him as he settled in close.
“Eyes on me, kitten.” He gave you a smile, and with that, he started pounding you—
“Ah, hah, ahhh!” You couldn't stop moaning beneath him as he thrusted into you. The feeling of him so deep inside, coupled with the way you tightened around him, sent waves of blind pleasure through you.
Sylus’ eyes darkened, his jaw clenched as he watched you squirm under him. Your skin glistened with the heat of the moment, and the sound of your breaths, frantic and needy, filled the room. His control slipped, just a little, as he pushed deeper, his movements faster, chasing the release that quickly building within both of you.
A pretty mess, his wife is. Your face contorted in a mix of pleasure and pain as he bred you, and he swore, of everything he had gone through, this look in your face was always worth it.
“Sylus—!” you almost wailed, nails digging into his back, and he growled, knowing full-well that he was finally losing it.
Just like that he shot his cum straight to your womb, his own body shuddering, thoroughly rutting into you. You cried, tears falling from your lashes as you too reached your climax.
Full, too full... Yet you knew that you wouldn't have it another way.
. . .
It felt warm and comforting.
Your eyes fluttered open hours later, and the first thing you noticed was Sylus' sleeping face, and that you were now in the bedroom.
He looked so vulnerable like this. You couldn’t help but be drawn to how serene and unguarded he was, a side of him that only you got to see. Even in his sleep, his arms were wrapped around your waist, as if to protect you from anything that might disturb your rest.
Your lover... and then husband. He was rough around the edges, sometimes didn't make any sense at all, and often reckless enough to burn himself playing with fire.
“You sly crow…” You gazed at his profile, still in awe that this elusive man was your husband.
Sylus was easy to read sometimes, and you couldn’t help but smile at your earlier doubts about him. How could you not see just how deeply he was attached to you?
Just like the inseparable pair of dragon and sorceress in your dream, you knew you’d stay by his side until the very end.
Out of a playful surge of affection, you tapped his nose, and he grunted softly but didn’t wake, instead nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck, seeking more of your warmth. It was cute, how he was so worn out that he sought comfort in your embrace.
You pressed a soft kiss to his forehead then, vowing with everything you had that you’d never let him go, and that with him by your side, you would definitely made this life you shared a happy one.
Several weeks later...
“Thank you, miss!”
The boy bowed his head with a wide grin as soon as you handed him the red pocket money for Linkon New Year. You waved at him, smiling warmly as he skipped away, clutching the envelope in his hands.
The festive occasion inspired you to pay a visit to a nearby orphanage, driven by a desire to share more of the joy and blessings. You brought small gifts and red envelopes, hoping to bring a little light to the children’s lives and make the celebration even more meaningful for them.
Of course, Sylus tagged along too. He was the benefactor, after all.
“Sir, thank you for your generosity.” The headmistress approached Sylus, who looked effortlessly sharp in his red suit, and gave his hand a shake. “The children are really happy with the cupcakes and pocket money.”
He merely chuckled and pointed at you with his chin. “Thank her, my wife is the one with the idea.”
You joined the conversation shortly after, and it didn’t take long for the topic to shift from the orphanage to your personal lives.
“So, do the two of you have plans to start a family soon?” the headmistress asked, her tone warm and curious. “Both of you are still young, and you're so good with kids. Having children of your own might bring even more joy into your lives.”
You mustered a polite laugh, the words to gracefully deflect her comment forming on your lips, when—
“Soon,” Sylus interjected smoothly, his arm slipping around your waist, pulling you closer. “Very soon, in fact.”
You blinked at him, startled by his bold declaration, while the headmistress’s face lit up with approval. You nudged him discreetly.
As soon as the headmistress went on her way, you turned to him with a frown. “Why would you tell her that?”
Your gaze met his, clear and utterly clueless. Sylus snorted, so tempted to pinch your cheeks, but settling instead for a tender pat on your head.
“You'll see soon enough, sweetie,” he replied, his tone laced with playful mystery.
Epilogue
It was the dead of night when a sudden wave of nausea overtook you. Stumbling out of bed, you rushed to the bathroom, barely making it to the toilet before retching up the contents of your stomach.
Your body trembled as you stood, dizziness threatening to topple you. Leaning heavily on the sink for support, you rinsed your mouth, trying to steady yourself. The effort left you shivering, your legs almost buckling beneath you.
Before you could even comprehend the blur in your vision, a pair of strong arms got a hold over you. “S-Sylus...?” you murmured faintly.
Without hesitation, he lifted you into his arms securely as he carried you back to the bedroom, his expression shadowed with concern.
As he settled you onto the bed, he held you close, pressing your face against his bare chest that peeked from his unbuttoned shirt. “Take deep breaths,” he urged softly, his voice grounding you.
You inhaled shakily, letting the familiar warmth of his scent calm your frayed nerves. Slowly, your breathing steadied, though the nausea still lingered in the back of your throat.
“Is it the first time?” he questioned, smoothing your hair. “Have you thrown up before?”
You shook your head. “No... I get dizzy spells but that's it... This is the first time.”
Nausea, dizziness, vomiting. It wasn't hard to piece together what it was. Amidst your dazed thoughts, the realization hit you, and you turned to your husband almost in wonder. “Sylus... a-am I...?”
Sylus broke into a smirk, ruffling your hair. “Told you. I know your period is late.”
Your heart skipped a beat—and it was the only thing you could hear in that moment. The thought that a baby would enter your lives left you briefly speechless.
“Yeah, at the rate we're going, it’s like we’re bunnies,” you quipped sullenly, trying to regain a sense of control as you leaned into his broad chest.
You really thought he would poke fun at you for your highly possible pregnancy, but instead you were taken aback when he pressed a fond, lingering kiss to the side of your head. His arms tightened around you, his soft chuckle reverberating through his chest.
And when you found his gaze again, his jewel-like eyes softened into such an extent that made your heart soar.
“Well, aren’t I the luckiest man— having this fair lady be the mother of my child?”
#sylus x reader#love and deepspace#lads sylus x reader#love and deepspace x reader#l&ds x reader#l&ds fluff#lads fluff#lads smut#l&ds smut#sylus fluff#sylus smut#lads sylus#sylus x mc#l&ds sylus x reader#love and deepspace sylus#love and deepspace x you#l&ds x you#lnds
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cw: mentions of oral sex, first date with Simon Riley, Simon is very awkward, drabble

Simon Riley being such an awkward and blunt individual when it comes to dating- it freaks you out because you don't know where you stand. In the SAS, Simon was a cold-hearted bugger, even to his own team. There was little they knew about him and he liked to keep it that way because when things were private they were easier to deal with. What would the point even be filling his teammates, co-workers, in on private matters?
He was impassive. Socially awkward but not in the shy, anxious way people would assume. He could never read the room or bring himself to give a shit, he did what he wanted and took little to no notice of what others though. It sounded fine, and for the most part it was.
But dating was fucking hard- being paired up with real whiny, bitchy women who would just complain over every minuscule thing- fucking hell, he wasn't a goddamn therapist. He didn't have time for people like that- his job showed him how short and vague life can be and he wasn't letting anyone waste his valuable minutes. He hated dating, hated putting himself out there just to come back home and sight in relief at the emptiness- he hated everything about it until he went out with you.
Your first online interaction was a mess of you trying to use some god-awful pick-up line that everyone aside from Simon could comprehend. 'What that mean?' and 'Ok.' Being your only two responses and what the hell, you were intrigued. He was just so- cutting? So rambunctiously dull in a careless manner, you couldn't help but wonder what he was life in real life. And after a few more messages back and fourth, there was no need to wonder anymore.
You drove to the restaurant you were meeting at yourself as he didn't even offer to come pick you up. His overwhelming chivalry and charm, clearly seeping in through his actions already! But honestly you were glad that he didn't. It gave you an exit just in case the date was bad and you just had to leave. Driving there yourself on the first date wasn't anything out of the norm anyway but you were used to men offering most of the time.
You greeted each other at the entrance and you were not expecting from a few blurry selfies of him to be so tall and jacked. Muscles only just squeezing out the armholes of his shirt as he nodded to you and walked inside. Not opening the door for your or even bothering to hold it after himself- nope. Just walking inside as casual as he can be; you couldn't contain your laugh.
He ordered what he wanted to eat, letting you order what you liked as well and the two of you finally got to talking. You shared things about yourself, listened to his deep, gruffly voice share things about him and honestly- it was probably the weirdest yet the best date you had ever been on.
You weren't used to people being like this and it made you surprisingly comfortable and not so on edge as usual. There had been dates that you had gone on that you thought were great; you felt a connection, they said they reciprocated but after it was over ghosted and blocked you for some reason. It hurt you every time and with Simon, you felt like that wouldn't be the case. He seemed like the kind of person that wouldn't mess about and wouldn't still be at the table if he felt nothing.
The food came and Simon dug straight into his steak. Your cheeks warming slightly at all the people sat around the two of you, eating softly, chuckling and sipping on red wine meanwhile Simon just enjoyed himself. His chin was dripping from the juice, fingers messy because despite the knife and fork he made an attempt to use- it was just easier with his hands. Deep brown eyes catching your own and blinking in confusion. His chest fluttered at the sound of your chuckle, a small smirk inching onto his face and he hadn't felt this relaxed with someone in months. He hadn't felt able to be himself.
The dinner went on as you swallowed and picked at your food, not wanting to scare him away or embarrass yourself which was stupid given how messily and carelessly he ate. You knew he probably wouldn't care at all but still- you did it anyway. Looking up at him as you placed your fork in your mouth, catching him sucking his fingers clean. Fucking hot. The lighting was so warm- and suddenly the room felt burning hot. The electricity between the two of you, high voltage and you bit your bashful smile down. Stomach aching in arousal as he sat back in his chair watching the way your lips chewed and swallowed.
"I want to eat you out."
And you almost choked. It was so calm, so nonchalant as it practically just leaked from his mouth. No awareness, no worry for who else might have heard him say that- simply just placing his cards upon the table and informing you of what he was thinking about. Horror coating his face as he saw you splutter and choke on your words, mouth agape in shock. He didn't mean to say anything wrong- he thought that was how it was supposed to go, was it not?
Handing you a napkin and sitting forward a little more as he apologised with a guilty smile. You shook your head, mind still spinning from his words and body boiling with a newfound sexual desire. Sipping on the glass of your drink to calm yourself as you assured him it was fine, telling him it was no big deal.
But, holy fuck.
#call of duty#cod mw2#cod x reader#cod smut#simon riley x reader#ghost x reader#simon ghost riley x reader#simon ghost riley#ghost simon riley#simon ghost x reader#simon riley#simon ghost riley x you#simon riley smut#simon riley x you#modern warfare#ghost cod#cod x reader smut#cod#call of duty modern warfare#cod modern warfare#cod mwii#kismetlotts.work#ghost smut#ghost call of duty#ghost mw2#mw2 ghost#ghost#cod mw#mw2#first date
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sometimes im sad that i dont have actual irl friends and then i remember. i want to kms after every private message i send. props better this way.
#ok.#again. about people i know irl. NOT on social medias. love it here <33#i dont know what it is man...#the friends from yesterday are still from our group in high school which is kinda epic but. i dont talk with any of them 1 to 1 etc.#i count them as friends but theyre not MY friends yaknow. idk#and that is fine!#sillyposting#its just. i feel like a failure because im so on my own. even though its better for myself this way.#this problem isnt even just if theyre NEW people. i was private messaging frequently with three irl friends like. two years ago.#and with all of them i was a nervous wreck any time (most of the time anyway) i saw a notif.#one of em was a bit more special bc we were like. kissing if i was over at her house. but still that anxiety came back horribly sometimes.#oh well#nothing to do about it now =w=bb#i think if i have my tumblr ill be gucci with human interaction yayy#ofc theres work aswell that gives me people to talk to so =3=b
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@reevc liked this for a short starter
The WRO, though grown from the ground up for a justly cause, could be a royal pain in Cloud's ass. Favours for favours was never the best way to run a business - and this being Cloud's first he found the demands of one Reeve Tuesti could be a touch overwhelming during busy seasons.
Though the promise to keep Strife Delivery a float with copious levels of clientele, the need to drop everything he had planned at a moments notice to aid the boot camps and drop stations the organisation funded was, in short, undesirable. Still... the promise hadn't been broken yet, so who was Cloud to really complain about the margins of success he'd been having since brokering the deal with the former board director.
That... didn't quite explain this free gift though... a stuffed plush shaped suspiciously like the fortune-teller met way back when in the Gold Saucer. Cloud had the thing right then sat atop a heap of unsigned contracts awaiting approval, and he'd stared at it for the longest time. The thing looked as it was promised; a toy, dead in the eyes and limp in the body, but still, Strife wasn't so sure.
Cait Sith had given him some serious trust issues when it came to black and white cats and their giant pet moogles, it had to be said. After the staring contest - and getting zero response - Cloud took to manhandling it, turning it this way and that, staring into the black fur and poking at it in one space or another, the back of the head, the butt, yanking the tail, and looking for a hidden camera, a speaker of some sort, hell even a power button with all of his efforts, or course, coming up short.
"Helloooo!" he called into it then as though speaking into a receiver holding it to the side of his face, nothing again. Maybe it was like a puzzle box and required certain strategies to get it working. With this thought in mind he began to shake it, watching as its giant head would whip back and forth on that little body.
"C'mon, you ain't fooling nobody here, you dumb cat!"
#reevc#this was supposed to be short#it got away from me as things like this tend to do#I apologise in advance#also I hope something post AC works for you? If not please let me know and I'll come up with something else#I admit I struggled to think of a way to get the two to interact and I guess Cait can be used as an intercom of sorts?#Maybe just a thing to relay a message#idk
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Fandom can do a little gatekeeping. As a treat.
So I finally decided to archive-lock my fics on AO3 last night. I’ve been considering it since the AI scrape last year, but the tipping point was this whole lore.fm debacle, coupled with some thoughts I’ve been thinking regarding Fandom These Days in general and Fandom As A Community in particular. So I wanna explain why I waited so long, why I locked my stuff up now, and why I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m a-okay with making it harder for people to see my stories.
Lurkers really are great, tho
I’m a chronic lurker, and have been since I started hanging out on the internet as a teen in the 00s. These days it’s just cuz I don’t feel a need to socialize very often, but back then it was because I was shy and knew I was socially awkward. Even if I made an account, I’d spend months lurking on message boards or forums or Livejournals, watching other people interact and getting a feel for that particular community’s culture and etiquette before I finally started interacting myself. And y’know, that approach saved me a lot of embarrassment. Over the course of my lurking on any site, there was always some other person who’d clearly joined up five minutes after learning the place existed, barged in without a care for their behavior, and committed so many social faux pas that all the other users were immediately annoyed with them at best. I learned a lot observing those incidents. Lurk More is Rule 33 of the internet for very good reason.
Lurking isn’t bad or weird or creepy. It’s perfectly normal. I love lurking. It’s hard for me to not lurk - socializing takes a lot of energy out of me, even via text. (Heck it took 12 hours for me to write this post, I wish I was kidding--) Occasionally I’ll manage longer bouts of interaction - a few weeks posting here, almost a year chatting in a discord there - but I’m always gonna end up going radio silent for months at some point. I used to feel bad about it, but I’ve long since made peace with the fact that it’s just the way my brain works. I’m a chronic lurker, and in the long term nothing is going to change that.
The thing with being a chronic lurker is that you have to accept that you are not actually seen as part of the community you are lurking in. That’s not to say that lurkers are unimportant - lurkers actually are important, and they make up a large proportion of any online community - but it’s simple cause and effect. You may think of it as “your community”, but if you’ve never said a word, how is the community supposed to know you exist? If I lurked on someone’s LJ, and then that person suddenly friendslocked their blog, I knew that I had two choices: Either accept that I would never be able to read their posts again, or reach out to them and ask if I could be added to their friends list with the full understanding that I was a rando they might not decide to trust. I usually went with the first option, because my invisibility as a lurker was more important to me than talking to strangers on the internet.
Lurking is like sitting on a park bench, quietly people-watching and eavesdropping on the conversations other people are having around you. You’re in the park, but you’re not actively participating in anything happening there. You can see and hear things that you become very interested in! But if you don’t introduce yourself and become part of the conversation, you won’t be able to keep listening to it when those people walk away. When fandom migrated away from Livejournal, people moved to new platforms alongside their friends, but lurkers were often left behind. No one knew they existed, so they weren’t told where everyone else was going. To be seen as part of a fandom community, you need to submit to the mortifying ordeal of being known, etc. etc.
There’s nothing wrong with lurking. There can actually be benefits to lurking, both for the lurkers and the communities they lurk in. It’s just another way to be in a fandom. But if that is how you exist in fandom--and remember, I say this as someone who often does exist that way in fandom--you need to remember that you’re on the outside looking in, and the curtains can always close.
I’ve always been super sympathetic to lurkers, because I am one. I know there’s a lot of people like me who just don’t socialize often. I know there’s plenty of reasons why someone might not make an account on the internet - maybe they’re nervous, maybe they’re young and their parents don’t allow them to, maybe they’re in a bad situation where someone is monitoring their activity, maybe they can only access the internet from public computer terminals. Heck, I’ve never even logged into AO3 on my phone--if I’m away from my computer I just read what’s publicly available.
I know I have people lurking on my fics. I know my fics probably mean a lot to someone I don’t even know exists. I know this because there are plenty of fics I love whose writers don’t know I exist.
I love my commenters personally; I love my lurkers as an abstract concept. I know they’re there and I wish them well, and if they ever de-lurk I love them all the more.
So up until last year I never considered archive-locking my fic, because I get it. The AI scraping was upsetting, but I still hesitated because I was thinking of lurkers and guests and remembering what it felt like to be 15 and wondering if it’d be worth letting a stranger on the internet know I existed and asking to be added to their friends list just so I could reread a funny post they made once.
But the internet has changed a lot since the 00s, and fandom has changed with it. I’ve read some things and been doing some thinking about fandom-as-community over the last few years, and reading through the lore.fm drama made me decide that it’s time for me to set some boundaries.
I still love my lurkers, and I feel bad about leaving any guest commenters behind, especially if they’re in a situation where they can’t make an account for some reason. But from here on out, even my lurkers are going to have to do the bare minimum to read my fics--make an AO3 account.
Should we gatekeep fandom?
I’ve seen a few people ask this question, usually rhetorically, sometimes as a joke, always with a bit of seriousness. And I think…yeah, maybe we should. Except wait, no, not like that--
A decade ago, when people talked about fandom gatekeeping and why it was bad to do, it intersected with a lot of other things, mainly feminism and classism. The prevalent image of fandom gatekeeping was, like, a man learning that a woman likes Star Wars and haughtily demanding, “Oh, yeah? Well if you’re REALLY a fan, name ten EU novels” to belittle and dismiss her, expecting that a “real fan” would have the money and time to be familiar with the EU, and ignoring the fact that male movie-only fans were still considered fans. The thing being gatekept was the very definition of “being a fan” and people’s right to describe themselves as one.
That’s not what I mean when I say maybe fandom should gatekeep more. Anyone can call themselves a fan if they like something, that’s fine. But when it comes to the ability to enjoy the fanworks produced by the fandom community…that might be something worth gatekeeping.
See, back in the 00s, it was perfectly common for people to just…not go on the internet. Surfing the web was a thing, but it was just, like, a fun pastime. Not everyone did it. It wasn’t until the rise of social media that going online became a thing everyone and their grandmother did every day. Back then, going on the internet was just…a hobby.
So one of the first gates online fandom ever had was the simple fact that the entire world wasn’t here yet.
The entire world is here now. That gate has been demolished.
And it’s a lot easier to find us now. Even scattered across platforms, fandom is so centralized these days. It isn’t a network of dedicated webshrines and forums that you can only find via webrings anymore, it’s right there on all the big social media sites. AO3 didn’t set out to be the main fanfic website, but that’s definitely what it’s become. It’s easy for people to find us--and that includes people who don’t care about the community, and just want “content.”
Transformative fandom doesn’t like it when people see our fanworks as “content”. “Content” is a pretty broad term, but when fandom uses it we’re usually referring to creative works that are churned out by content creators to be consumed by an audience as quickly as possible as often as possible so that the content creator can generate revenue. This not-so-new normal has caused a massive shift in how people who are new to fandom view fanworks--instead of seeing fic or art as something a fellow fan made and shared with you, they see fanworks as products to be consumed.
Transformative fandom has, in general, always been a gift economy. We put time and effort into creating fanworks that we share with our fellow fans for free. We do this so we don’t get sued, but fandom as a whole actually gets a lot out of the gift economy. Offer your community a story, and in return you can get comments, build friendships, or inspire other people to write things that you might want to read. Readers are given the gift of free stories to read and enjoy, and while lurking is fine, they have the choice to engage with the writer and other readers by leaving comments or making reclists to help build the community.
And look, don’t get me wrong. People have never engaged with fanfic as much as fan writers wish they would. There has always been “no one comments anymore” wank. There have always been people who only comment to say “MORE!” or otherwise demand or guilt trip writers into posting the next chapter. But fandom has always agreed that those commenters are rude and annoying, and as those commenters navigate fandom they have the chance to learn proper community etiquette.
However, now it seems that a lot of the people who are consuming fanworks aren’t actually in the community.
I won’t say “they aren’t real fans” because that’s silly; there’s lots of ways to be a fan. But there seem to be a lot of fans now who have no interest in fandom as a community, or in adhering to community etiquette, or in respecting the gift economy. They consume our fics, but they don’t appreciate fan labor. They want our “content”, but they don’t respect our control over our creations.
And even worse--they see us as a resource. We share our work for free, as a gift, but all they see is an open-source content farm waiting to be tapped into. We shared it for free, so clearly they can do whatever they want with it. Why should we care if they feed our work into AI training datasets, or copy/paste our unfinished stories into ChatGPT to get an ending, or charge people for an unnecessary third-party AO3 app, or sell fanbindings on etsy for a profit without the author’s permission, or turn our stories into poor imitations of podfics to be posted on other platforms without giving us credit or asking our consent, while also using it to lure in people they can datascrape for their Forbes 30 Under 30 company?
And sure, people have been doing shady things with other people’s fanworks since forever. Art theft and reposting has always been a big problem. Fanfic is harder to flat-out repost, but I’ve heard of unauthorized fic translations getting posted without crediting the original author. Once in…I think the 2010s? I read a post by a woman who had gone to some sort of local bookselling event, only to find that the man selling “his” novel had actually self-published her fanfic. (Wish I could find that one again, I don’t even remember where I read it.)
But aside from that third example, the thing is…as awful as fanart/writing theft is, back in the day, the main thing a thief would gain from it was clout. Clout that should rightfully go to the creators who gifted their work in the first place, yeah, but still. Just clout. People will do a lot of hurtful things for clout, but fandom clout means nothing outside of fandom. Fandom clout is not enough to incentivize the sort of wide-scale pillaging we’re seeing from community outsiders today.
Money, on the other hand… Well, fandom’s just a giant, untapped content farm, isn’t it? Think of how much revenue all that content could generate.
Lurkers are a normal and even beneficial part of any online community. Maybe one day they’ll de-lurk and easily slide into place beside their fellow fans because they already know the etiquette. Maybe they’re active in another community, and they can spread information from the community they lurk in to the community they’re active in. At the very least, they silently observe, and even if they’re not active community members, they understand the community.
Fans who see fanworks as “content” don’t belong in the same category as lurkers. They’re tourists.
While reading through the initial Reddit thread on the lore.fm situation, I found this comment:
[ID: Reddit User Cabbitowo says: ... So in anime fandoms we have a word called tourist and essentially it means a fan of a few anime and doesn't care about anime tropes and actively criticizes them. This is kind of how fandoms on tiktok feel. They're touring fanfics and fanart and actively criticizes tropes that have been in the fandom since the 60s. They want to be in a fandom but they don't want to engage in fandom
OP totallymandy responds: Just entered back into Reddit after a long day to see this most recent reply. And as a fellow anime fan this making me laugh so much since it’s true! But it sorta hurts too when the reality sets in. Modern fandom is so entitled and bratty and you’d think it’s the minors only but that’s not even true, my age-mates and older seem to be like that. They want to eat their cake and complain all whilst bringing nothing to the potluck… :/ END ID]
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“Tourist” is an apt name for this sort of fan. They don’t want to be part of our community, and they don’t have to be in order to come into our spaces and consume our work. Even if they don’t steal our work themselves, they feel so entitled to it that they’re fine with ignoring our wishes and letting other people take it to make AI “podfics” for them to listen to (there are a lot of comments on lore.fm’s shutdown announcement video from people telling them to just ignore the writers and do it anyway). They’ll use AI to generate an ending to an unfinished fic because they don’t care about seeing “the ending this writer would have given to the story they were telling”, they just want “an ending”. For these tourist fans, the ends justify the means, and their end goal is content for them to consume, with no care for the community that created it for them in the first place.
I don’t think this is confined to a specific age group. This isn’t “13-year-olds on Wattpad” or “Zoomers on TikTok” or whatever pointless generation war we’re in now. This is coming from people who are new to fandom, whose main experience with creative works on the internet is this new content culture and who don’t understand fandom as a community. That description can be true of someone from any age group.
It’s so easy to find fandom these days. It is, in fact, too easy. Newcomers face no hurdles or challenges that would encourage them to lurk and observe a bit before engaging, and it’s easy for people who would otherwise move on and leave us alone to start making trouble. From tourist fans to content entrepreneurs to random people who just want to gawk, it’s so easy for people who don’t care about the fandom community to reap all of its fruits.
So when I say maybe fandom should start gatekeeping a bit, I’m referring to the fact that we barely even have a gate anymore. Everyone is on the internet now; the entire world can find us, and they don’t need to bother learning community etiquette when they do. Before, we were protected by the fact that fandom was considered weird and most people didn’t look at it twice. Now, fandom is pretty mainstream. People who never would’ve bothered with it before are now comfortable strolling in like they own the place. They have no regard for the fandom community, they don’t understand it, and they don’t want to. They want to treat it just like the rest of the content they consume online.
And then they’re surprised when those of us who understand fandom culture get upset. Fanworks have existed far longer than the algorithmic internet’s content. Fanworks existed long before the internet. We’ve lived like this for ages and we like it.
So if someone can’t be bothered to respect fandom as a community, I don’t see why I should give them easy access to my fics.
Think of it like a garden gate
When I interact with commenters on my fic, I have this sense of hospitality.
The comment section is my front porch. The fic is my garden. I created my garden because I really wanted to, and I’m proud of it, and I’m happy to share it with other people.
Lots of people enjoy looking at my garden. Many walk through without saying anything. Some stop to leave kudos. Some recommend my garden to their friends. And some people take the time to stop by my front porch and let me know what a beautiful garden it is and how much they’ve enjoyed it.
Any fic writer can tell you that getting comments is an incredible feeling. I always try to answer all my comments. I don’t always manage it, but my fics’ comment sections are the one place that I manage to consistently socialize in fandom. When I respond to a comment, it feels like I’m pouring out a glass of lemonade to share with this lovely commenter on my front porch, a thank you for their thank you. We take a moment to admire my garden together, and then I see them out. The next time they drop by, I recognize them and am happy to pour another glass of lemonade.
My garden has always been open and easy to access. No fences, no walls. You just have to know where to find it. Fandom in general was once protected by its own obscurity, an out-of-the-way town that showed up on maps but was usually ignored.
But now there’s a highway that makes it easy to get to, and we have all these out-of-towner tourists coming in to gawk and steal our lawn ornaments and wonder if they can use the place to make themselves some money.
I don’t care to have those types trampling over my garden and eating all my vegetables and digging up my flowers to repot and sell, so I’ve put up a wall. It has a gate that visitors can get through if they just take the time to open it.
Admittedly, it’s a small obstacle. But when I share my fics, I share them as a gift with my fellow fans, the ones who understand that fandom is a community, even if they’re lurkers. As for tourist fans and entrepreneurs who see fic as content, who have no qualms ignoring the writer’s wishes, who refuse to respect or understand the fandom community…well, they’re not the people I mean to share my fic with, so I have no issues locking them out. If they want access to my stories, they’ll have to do the bare minimum to become a community member and join the AO3 invite queue.
And y’know, I’ve said a lot about fandom and community here, and I just want to say, I hope it’s not intimidating. When I was younger, talk about The Fandom Community made me feel insecure, and I didn’t think I’d ever manage to be active enough in fandom spaces to be counted as A Member Of The Community. But you don’t have to be a social butterfly to participate in fandom. I’ll always and forever be a chronic lurker, I reblog more than I post, I rarely manage to comment on fic, and I go radio silent for months at a time--but I write and post fanfiction. That’s my contribution.
Do you write, draw, vid, gif, or otherwise create? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you leave comments? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you curate reclists? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you maintain a fandom blog or fuckyeah blog? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you provide a space for other fans to convene in? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you regularly send asks (off anon so people know who you are)? Congrats, you're a community member.
Do you have fandom friends who you interact with? Congrats, you're a community member.
There’s lots of ways to be a fan. Just make sure to respect and appreciate your fellow fans and the work they put in for you to enjoy and the gift economy fandom culture that keeps this community going.
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