#WHY DID YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT?!?!!! | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

she-x-wolf · 2 years

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I hate him 😩

#WHY DID YOU HURT ME LIKE THAT?!?!!!#richy rogers #duskwood richy #richy duskwood #duskwood #ep. 06

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giantkillerjack · 1 year

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Today my therapist introduced me to a concept surrounding disability that she called "hLep".

Which is when you - in this case, you are a disabled person - ask someone for help ("I can't drink almond milk so can you get me some whole milk?", or "Please call Donna and ask her to pick up the car for me."), and they say yes, and then they do something that is not what you asked for but is what they think you should have asked for ("I know you said you wanted whole, but I got you skim milk because it's better for you!", "I didn't want to ruin Donna's day by asking her that, so I spent your money on an expensive towing service!") And then if you get annoyed at them for ignoring what you actually asked for - and often it has already happened repeatedly - they get angry because they "were just helping you! You should be grateful!!"

And my therapist pointed out that this is not "help", it's "hLep".

Sure, it looks like help; it kind of sounds like help too; and if it was adjusted just a little bit, it could be help. But it's not help. It's hLep.

At its best, it is patronizing and makes a person feel unvalued and un-listened-to. Always, it reinforces the false idea that disabled people can't be trusted with our own care. And at its worst, it results in disabled people losing our freedom and control over our lives, and also being unable to actually access what we need to survive.

So please, when a disabled person asks you for help on something, don't be a hLeper, be a helper! In other words: they know better than you what they need, and the best way you can honor the trust they've put in you is to believe that!

Also, I want to be very clear that the "getting angry at a disabled person's attempts to point out harmful behavior" part of this makes the whole thing WAY worse. Like it'd be one thing if my roommate bought me some passive-aggressive skim milk, but then they heard what I had to say, and they apologized and did better in the future - our relationship could bounce back from that. But it is very much another thing to have a crying shouting match with someone who is furious at you for saying something they did was ableist. Like, Christ, Jessica, remind me to never ask for your support ever again! You make me feel like if I asked you to call 911, you'd order a pizza because you know I'll feel better once I eat something!!

Edit: crediting my therapist by name with her permission - this term was coined by Nahime Aguirre Mtanous!

Edit again: I made an optional follow-up to this post after seeing the responses. Might help somebody. CW for me frankly talking about how dangerous hLep really is.

#hlep #original #mental health #my sympathies and empathies to anyone who has to rely on this kind of hlep to get what they need.#the people in my life who most need to see this post are my family but even if they did I sincerely doubt they would internalize it #i've tried to break thru to them so many times it makes my head hurt. so i am focusing on boundaries and on finding other forms of support #and this thing i learned today helps me validate those boundaries. the example with the milk was from my therapist.#the example with the towing company was a real thing that happened with my parents a few months ago while I was age 28. 28!#a full adult age! it is so infantilizing as a disabled adult to seek assistance and support from ableist parents.#they were real mad i was mad tho. and the spoons i spent trying to explain it were only the latest in a long line of #huge family-related spoon expenditures. distance and the ability to enforce boundaries helps. haven't talked to sisters for literally the #longest period of my whole life. people really believe that if they love you and try to help you they can do no wrong.#and those people are NOT great allies to the chronically sick folks in their lives.#you can adore someone and still fuck up and hurt them so bad. will your pride refuse to accept what you've done and lash out instead?#or will you have courage and be kind? will you learn and grow? all of us have prejudices and practices we are not yet aware of.#no one is pure. but will you be kind? will you be a good friend? will you grow? i hope i grow. i hope i always make the choice to grow.#i hope with every year i age i get better and better at making people feel the opposite of how my family's ableism has made me feel #i will see them seen and hear them heard and smile at their smiles. make them feel smart and held and strong.#just like i do now but even better! i am always learning better ways to be kind so i don't see why i would stop

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xxplastic-cubexx · 14 days

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oh noooo or whatever

bonus aka The Real Motive Behind This:

SURPRISE double bonus. textless ver of the first pic under the cut

#xmen #xmen comics #cherik #professor x #magneto #charles xavier #erik lehnsherr #erik magnus lehnsherr #max eisenhardt #snap sketches #guys i drew cherik after walking to the comic shop to see official cherik omg .....#context if needed: in like. issue 17-18 of the og run magneto hijacks the x mansion and sets up The Mental Wave Distorter trap #and unfortunately the second i saw it i knew what i had to do because I Cannot Be Salvaged #tbh this was suppoesd to be moooorrreee 2011 Yaoi Doujin Core but clakjkl i like it like this way i fear #i was gonna put dialogue bubbles for the first pic but like that a lot. even tho i did post a textless ver Bro My Head Hurts #this was also supposed to be quick and thats why its in a limbo of Effort Was Made and I Held Back #because after the sketch i realized i wanted to lock in. sort of 💀 still like it tho !!!!!!#more importantly dont take me to comic shops all ima do is think of ship art to make later !!!!!#on that note tho i did have a silly giggle to myself when i saw the resurrection of magneto #like it was the silliest reaction i felt like a dog jlvkjavlka #i also found another magneto-centered run im excited bout ...... both sets were missing One book so im gonna scream but moving on #uhhhh ok im done here. my heads been hurting all day i hope its nothing serious #whats funny is that i actually planned to draw movie cherik today but alas. plans were changed #theres always tomorrow !!!!!!!!! i love you tomorrow .....#bye bye im going to bed

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lazylittledragon · 2 months

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ok i swear i'm not going to talk about my breakup forever but the thing that just keeps bothering me:

i know that not getting what you need in a relationship is a COMPLETELY valid reason to end it but also. i feel like having a very vulnerable moment where i opened up about my struggles with intimacy and being relieved that i didn't have to keep doing things i wasn't comfortable with, then being dumped a YEAR later because of my lack of intimacy. is something i should be allowed to be very hurt by???

#ramble #sorry i'm currently in a phase of 'of course this happened' and 'oh i deserve this because i didn't give him what he wanted'#like he knew i was grey ace since the start. and he let it go on for SO long after i said i might be vaguely aro as well #if that's a dealbreaker for you bc of your love language then FINE but NIP IT IN THE BUD #he said he put it off because he didn't want to hurt my feelings but it only hurt me MORE #like you're an adult. grow the fuck up and communicate like one #holding your negative feelings in hoping somebody notices you're hiding them is what TEENAGERS do #and also i told him VERBATIM: i didn't think anyone would ever love me because i'm not comfortable with xyz. and he just confirmed that #idk i still feel like i'm being selfish because how could i expect someone to be in a relationship with me when i can't give them anything #also tmi but it's not like we did NOTHING. we still held hands/cuddled/were close. he just didn't have his tongue down my throat anymore #so obviously i'm assuming by 'missing affection' he just meant sex and as an ace person that just fucking sucks #also oh my god i HATED how much he would imply we were going to have sex. i would have to keep SAYING 'i don't like doing this'#he always spoke like it was inevitably going to happen and it didn't click how GROSS i felt about it until recently #also ALSO not to go there but i never told him WHY i struggle with it (it's sensory issues)#and like. what if something had happened to me that made it hard for me and i just wasn't ready to tell him. and then he did this #again sorry to overshare this is still just a lot for me and i have no idea if i'm being unreasonable #if you're ace and in a relationship please let me know bc i'm starting to think it'll end this way every single time

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thesmokinpossum · 1 month

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#connie corleone #carmela corleone #the godfather #web weaving #this is...quite negative towards carmela i guess #so i just want to make it clear that i actually really love her as a character and i actually can understand how she became who she was #she was a woman born in the late 19th century raised not just in a patriarchal society but a CATHOLIC patriarchal society #who therefore grew up learning that she was primarly defined by her relationship to her husband and her capacity to be a 'good wife'#so i totally understand why she would take some type of sick pride in knowing that her husband never 'had' to hit her #but like...that entire part of the book was legit hard to read and Carmela was really not that much better than Vito there #so it's kinda hard for me not side eyed the shit out of her when she blame Connie for being a neglectful mom #like geez Carmela I wonder why your daugther might be struggling I'm sure it has nothing to do with anything you did or refused to do...#i'll say that she did end up being concerned for Connie and trying to help so she definitely deserves some points here #unlike Vito's dumbass who was just like 'it really hurts me to know that my daughter is being hit all the time but i can't do anything :('#'I'll tell her it's all her fault and that she deserves to be hit that will surely help somehow'#Vito really spent the entirety of this book being like 'nothing and I mean NOTHING matters more than blood (conditions very much applies)'#domestic violence mention

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bruhstation · 6 months

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you never change, do you

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whump-is-love-whump-is-life · 9 months

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Screaming.

Please do not do this but I just screamed for 30 minutes so here’s what you should know.

Can’t do it continuously for very long, have to stop to breathe (amount of time and breaths it takes to recover depends on how long you hold it)

It is EXHAUSTING. Seriously, if your whumpee has been screaming for more than thirty seconds multiple times, they won’t have ANY energy to fight back against the whumper. My head was hanging down for a bit because I was just so tired. The exhaustion also caused dizziness when I stood up. Also it’s been around five minutes and my throat still hurts super bad.

Oddly, I could still talk, maybe a bit of rasp in my voice but still effectively and fairly easily. (Again, about thirty minutes with tiny breaks)

Seriously when the exhaustion hits, it hits H A R D

Mouth kinda hurts too tbh

Heart beats pretty rapidly during and shortly after

My head hurts

Both hurts and helps to cough

Update an hour later: slightly hurts throat to talk

Moral of the story:

Don’t scream so much that you exhaust yourself,

Make your whumpee scream to the whumpers content

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dvnieldraws · 1 year

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dandelions

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charmac · 1 month

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Do you think Mac has jacked off while reading the Bible? Or is he too ashamed? Or does the shame just turn him on more? Are the pages of his Bible all stuck together?

Oh, I don't think; we know:

(Pages stuck together, thanks for the confirmation, Charlie)

I think the shame definitely turns him on more, considering Mac Day:

And, the connected punishment, lest we forget The Gang Goes to Hell... (and the script here... whew)

While he was repressed then, he wasn't as of Charlie's Home Alone, so I think it's clear to claim that a part of his "homosexual awakening" was connected to the fact that he was gradually getting more and more into the idea of being punished (gone sexual) for his sins, to a point where he was just genuinely jerking off to the "evils of homosexuality"

I do wanna continue here though and say Season 15 is pretty interesting because we see Mac battle between being Catholic and proudly gay. He seemingly has no issue bragging to a Priest in the middle of a church that he's into triple penetration, but it is his sex life that is the driving "reasoning" for why he thinks he should become a Catholic Priest:

He's been "S-ing&F-ing" his way though life for too long and now he thinks God has taken away one of his identities (Irish) as a result. Mac's idea of being punished by/for God continues, but it's now through the form of revocation (as opposed to shame or flagellation). I think there's a clear "connect the dots" idea that depriving himself of sex (via becoming a Priest) is an "evolved" form of allowing God to punish him for being gay.

Obviously Mac learns he was lied to, as he actually is Irish, so his "journey" here is a bit of a wash, but the fact that his rationale jumped to God punishing him for having gay sex still stands. As he grows to accept himself, he's still looking for ways to feel shame (which, as we've seen, gets him off)...

But is the constant seeking for some form of punishment still there? We didn't see much of his Catholicism in Season 16 (I think the only mention of God from Mac was in The Gang Gets Cursed), but we did continue to see his sex life and—well, that was pretty heavy on Mac, openly gay dating, somehow managing to be neglected and deprived of actual gay sex, wasn't it?

#by the golden god no less..#mac mcdonald #iasip #main tagging it why not this is analysis to me #mac meta #ask #also i rewatching sinks in a bog while answering this and #damn the little 'thats what he said' jokes between mac and gus were cute... give him a boyfriend RCG meahesrshhhh #only for an episode tho so dennis can get jealous #ah im seeing myself in my own shitpost #thanks for the ask i doubt this went the way you thought but oh well lol #also.. idk how much of mac's gayness is like. rob avoiding being gay on screen tbh #but this is simply analysis of the character and my interpretation #idk if this is rob's actual intent.#but i like to think he does care about mac's struggle between enjoying being gay while feeling like he HAS to be punished for being gay #ok deep in the tags now cos i cant stfu #hohc kinda hurts this idea that mac gets off to being called a fag lol #but i do have to wonder if there was a point where he did #like prior to his actual gay acceptance and awakening #idk.. lol whatever.. interesting interesting

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cowboy-kidd · 3 months

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Caregiver!Alfred Pennyworth

x - x - x

(hc's always in tags 🦇💕)

// pt - dni: nsfw accounts //

#how much i struggled with this? a despicable amount that shall not be said.#i still dunno how to feel abt this template - also why is alfred screen caps so hard to find.#anyways.#moodboard tag #batman agere #agere batman #dc agere #fandome agere #he buttons up your little suits for you n ties your shoes n makes sure you're all put together #he allows you to get hurt n explore n always patches up your ouchies before planting a kiss to your forehead or wherever your hurt #n reassuring you that its alright n he's right here #learns cute hairstyles so that you always go out looking presentable #hes very lenient with rules - always doting on you with headpats or forehead kisses before you go to bed #you like to brush your teeth with him - its fun for you n his way of making sure you brush your teeth and wash your face the right way #this means you get up extremely early n go to bed at a decent time as well so plus #you never actually get a full nights sleep alone in bed- its either you crawling into his bed bc you had a bad dream #or him crawling into your bed because although he knows how to handle himself when things like flashbacks n stuff plague him #its nice to know someones there in his corner who he can rely on to ground him #magically knows when parties get too overwhelming and swiftly takes you out of there - consequently leaving bruce to deal with the elite #do i hate this? no - did it take me 3 tries n multiple switch ups until it felt “right?” yes - does it feel “right?” i have no idea.

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casualavocados · 2 months

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Why did you do it? I don't know what you're talking about. I was drunk that night, and you told me you would always look at me— You want to get back at me, right?

KISEKI: DEAR TO ME Ep. 09

#kiseki: dear to me #kisekiedit #kdtm #kiseki dear to me #ai di x chen yi #chen yi x ai di #louis chiang #chaing tien #jiang dian #nat chen #chen bowen #userspring #userrain #uservid #userspicy #userjjessi #pdribs #*cajedit #*gif #WE LOVE WHEN AI DI IS A BITCH. 10/10 NO NOTES. just. be a freak about it why dont you i love this for him #its actually insane how good of a liar he is. like........he really truly seems so unbothered by everything #but no matter what he says the idea of something casual is the last thing he could ever want. its so painful for him #and he only pushes the idea because he doesnt think chen yi will ever ever love him seriously OR casually #as if the idea of being with him could anger chen yi. SHOULD anger chen yi. because of how preposterous it is #but he also feels like he owes chen yi. like. ai di literally thought that after prison chen yi would never seek him out #would never want to speak to him ever again and he thinks thats BETTER for them too bc he cant take back what he did AND #he cant take back his own vulnerability. but he cant take anything casual with chen yi so he hides behind this facade of being uncaring #that chen yi KNOWS is FALSE and that BREAKS ME. his face as ai di pushes past him.......ow.#a more openly expressive version of 'i know he's lying to me but i dont understand whats going on and that HURTS me' but Extra Painful #because ai di is all chen yi wants. and - 'an explanation'... he wants ai di to want him too

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thelolarahaii · 3 months

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If it was dangerous, would you want to know? If it involved my kids or was a threat to my life, then, yeah, absolutely.

CRIMINAL MINDS 17.03 | "Homesick"

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thedreadvampy · 3 months

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sometimes I forget that my experience has been. um. not 'your experiences are not universal' vibes but more like 'your experiences are EXTREMELY atypical'

#red said #recent events have reminded me that my life has involved like. a LOT of other people's psychosis #like not in a way where i have been Beset By Terrifying Crazies bc that's not like. a thing.#but a lot of people in my life have had a lot of really severe psychotic episodes #and i FORGET sometimes. that actually that is an Unusual Amount Of Experience With Psychosis for someone who's not #for somebody who has not really personally ever had psychotic episodes (unless severe PTSD flashbacks count)#actually i tell a lie i have maybe had One psychotic episode but because it was very situational and i knew what was happening #i was able to ride it out. because i am literally only psychotic Inside Hospitals and so that's all fine #as long as i LITERALLY NEVER HAVE TO HAVE INPATIENT CARE. Very important to me to never ever ever require surgery i think.#i can handle the amount of psychosis i get from a 1-4 hour stopoff in hospital #as long as i know I'm leaving soon then i can just Cope with the fact that the walls are moving and reality is thin #ANYWAY that's not the point the point is i forget! that most ppl i know have experience of at most a handful of severe psychotic episodes #some people i know have experienced more for sure. especially if the episodes were mostly theirs.#but people really seem to expect me to be more freaked out by their symptoms of psychosis than i am #bc i don't think i really register it as frightening unless they're in actual danger or Currently Aggressing Actually At Me #like i WORRY about them bc it can super suck but it's not SHOCKING or WEIRD #there have definitely been times ive been frightened. one time i woke up in the night and my friend was standing over me with a knife #but also like he was still HIM he was just having a moment. and as soon as i got the knife off him he just came back and broke down.#and we were fine and he was safe and i learnt the valuable lesson that even when people seem like they wanna kill you they probably don't #tbf now I'm thinking about it it's honestly a tossup whether he was there to threaten or because he felt a need to guard us #like to be clear probably don't try and take a knife off someone having a psychotic break. i was 17 and it was 3am and i knew him very well #i probably did not make the smartest call but nobody got hurt is the point #anyway you know there's that kind of psychotic episode and my granny got very violently angry a few times. buuuut you know there's also #been plenty of other times I've been with somebody having an episode and it's been chill as hell.#my ex saw and heard monsters so much that eventually she just got sick of being scared. we used to watch TV with them #i would sometimes have to sit on a bit of sofa that wasn't haunted and we might not be able to watch certain things bc they didn't like it #most of the time she was hallucinating there was absolutely nothing to worry about we just had a few extra variables #honestly of everyone i know who's had psychotic episodes or schizophrenia the amount of times it's been a material risk #is like. low single figures? maybe low double if you include self harm but idk what the cause and effect is there.#idk why you would need to be frightened like 99.99% of the time it truly is usually just Oh No That Seems Distressing For You I'm Sorry

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welcometogrouchland · 7 months

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[ID: An animatic of Stephanie Brown as Robin set to Tears over Beers by modern baseball. The images are paired with the lyrics. Stephanie as spoiler staring longingly at Bruce, Tim and Cass on a rooftop is paired with "he needed more than me". A compilation of sketches of Steph as robin go with "im friendly and thoughtful and quite awfully pretty". Finally a redraw of Steph's firing as Robin is paired with "but he needed more than me". End ID]

been trying to finish a comic for. Weeks now (just been hitting a lot blocks) and quickly threw this together as a break from it! Do you guys ever think about Stephanie Brown…

#dc comics #stephanie brown #robin #batfamily #read the first issue of her run in the main robin book recently after mostly knowing it via her appearance as robin in the batgirl title #and via snippets of other issues #oughhh bill willingham when i fucking catch you #SHE WAS SO EAGER. THEY LEAVE IT UP TO THR AUDIENCE AS TO WHY BUT SHE WAS SO EAGER #ROBIN WAS JUST HER CONSOLATION PRIZE AND EVEN THEN IT WAS TAINTED BY BRUCES MISTRUST #WHICH ULTIMATELY LED TO HER DEATH #AUGH. THROWING UP EVERYWHERE #^ willingham gets not credit for that as far as im concerned they did not give a rats ass about steph in her robin arc #christ…it makes me wanna read early era timsteph or bg!era steph to just #heal for a minute. I mean those eras are complex in and of themselves w their own pros and cons (i mean i like both tho)#But they dont hurt as much as her robin era knowing whats to come…#sidenote i often see ppl praise the way stephs temper is portrayed in her robin era and while its nice to see her anger factor in #considering its like. A less consistent character trait in the modern era? Its there tho in bits and drabs #im just very cynical of it in her robin era knowing that they’re (partially) using it to set up why shes a doomed robin. Complex feelings #mine

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forget-me-ghost · 7 months

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Okay, so I just found out that mortal souls in heaven don't remember those who went to hell.

What do you mean Molly doesn't remember Angel Dust? WHAT do you mean Alastor's mother doesn't remember him?

Just imagine the complete anguish that these two would go through if they met their family only to find out that they don't remember them.

Molly is Angel's twin sister, they were probably super duper close and now she has no memories of him??? Alastor's mom was most likely the only person he ever truly loved and cared about (he is a mama's boy after all) and now this woman has forgotten him???

I'm heartbroken just by thinking about it ;-;

#hazbin hotel #alastor #hazbin hotel alastor #alastor the radio demon #angel dust #angel dust hazbin hotel #molly hazbin hotel #alastor's mother #WHY DID I FOUND OUT ABOUT THIS JUST NOW #it hurts so much #Charlie doing some great trip to Heaven to visit sir pentious #and Angel Dust and Alastor see their family #and they are like OH MY GOD HI ITS ME #ONLY FOR THEM TO BE LIKE oh who are you???#LIKE THAT'S SO SAD

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matchalovertrait · 5 months

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Noemí and Erick have started to work out a little bit. With their 40s around the corner, they want to make sure they live long, healthy lives!

#edit 4/28: i always talk about them being so young but they just aged up in my game and omg 😭😭 they don't even look that much diff i think #but reality hit me!!!! tell me why it almost physically hurt when i was giving them new hair and outfits too #you hardly see their little fine lines too but i was like 🤧🤧 erick did get a lil more tho cuz he's whiter lmao #erick wade #noemi alegria #tjolc gen 1 #tjol challenge #tjolc #the joy of life challenge #joy of life challenge #matchalovertrait #alegria legacy #ts4 gameplay #ts4 legacy #sims 4 #the sims 4

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