#Zero being a thing was so relieving in a way

[morganski-19]

Chills Right to the Marrow part 36

ao3 link| part 1 . . . part 33, part 34, part 35

Steve opens the door for them before they even have a chance to ring the bell. With a large smile meant just for Eddie. They make their way through the door, Eddie immediately in awe about the height of the ceilings, for some reason. They two of them talking, if that’s all they’re doing, instead of making their way to the welcome party.

Wayne gets it. Eddie’s out of the hospital, it’s big news. But there are other people here waiting to see him.

Like the boy standing in the middle the hallway with tears forming in his eyes. Who’s waited for this day since the moment Eddie got hurt. To know that he is really alive. And will continue to be alive.

“Aw, taking pity on me, are you, Steve?” Eddie teases, making Wayne want to groan.

“Shut up.” A great retort, really.

Wayne clears his throat. Breaking the two of them out of the little bubble they’ve formed. He nods his head down the hall, making Eddie finally see Dustin.

No matter how much Wayne is happy to see his boy out of the hospital. Walking. This moment isn’t for him. It’s for Dustin.

“Hey, Henderson,” Eddie breaths out, relieved.

“You’re here,” Dustin says so softly Wayne can barely hear it. But it’s enough that his own tears find their way to his eyes.

Eddie makes his way over to Dustin. Just barely wincing with the pain, but not complaining about it. He’s got other things on his mind in this moment. He balances himself on his crutches just enough to pull Dustin into a hug. Careful to not put all of his weight on the kid.

“Yeah,” Eddie whispers. “I’m here.”

Wayne blinks away the tear that wants to fall down his cheek. Sparing a look at Steve and seeing he’s in the same boat. Somehow in agreement that this moment isn’t for them to ruin. They could hold off for the time being.

“Where’s the rest of the crew?” Eddie asks when Dustin pulls back. “And a seat, I can only stand for so long.”

Dustin snorts, wiping his cheeks. “In the living room. They’re really happy to see you.”

Eddie motions for Dustin to lead the way. Following him down the hall and into the living room. Steve and Wayne hang back. Letting their moment be their moment.

Someone knocks on the door, Steve turning around to go answer it.

“Sorry, are we too late?” Nancy asks before stepping in. Robin close behind her.

“No, you’re fine. He just got here.” He looks behind them looking for someone else. “I thought you said Jonathan was going to come?”

Nancy makes a pained face. Starting to say something but Robin beating her to the punch. “He’s avoiding her.”

“It’s not like I blame him,” Nancy defends. “I did break up with him. We’re not going to be friends again that fast. How long did it take up to be friends after we broke up?” she asks in Steve’s direction.

“Almost two years,” he deadpans.

Nancy gets a partially defeated look. “See, we’ll get there eventually.” She turns toward Wayne, hiding the shock that he was standing there the whole time. “Hi, Mr. Munson. It’s great to see you again.”

“Please, just call me Wayne.”

“How did things go at the hospital? Was it all taken care of?”

Wayne nods. “Yes. They came around in the end.”

It was a relief, really, to see the bill come out with zero. All Wayne had to do was sign the papers and set up Eddie’s follow up appointments. His twice a week physical therapy appointment. Get the prescription for his pain killers. Then, they were one their way.

“Good.”

Someone calls Steve from the living room. All of them migrating to the living room. There’re so many voices in that room, Wayne doesn’t know which conversation to pay attention too. What he ends with, though, is the one that Eddie’s in. Talking about the game he loves with the kids. One of them there he doesn’t recognize, but that’s not really surprising.

Sometime later, the bell rings and Steve comes back with an armful of pizza. Setting them along the kitchen island with sodas. Yelling at the kids to use a plate and to eat in the kitchen instead of the living room.

Wayne can’t stop looking at the smile on Eddie’s face. It’s like he looks alive again. Out of the hospital and back to himself. Goofing around with the kids and making jokes. Trying to make it look like he isn’t tripping over his crutches. Still getting used to walking with them.

A smile forms on Wayne’s face. The muscles straining just a bit. Like he forgot how.

Eddie catches his eye. Brows furrowed before he realizes why Wayne’s smiling. For a second, their smiles match before Eddie’s attention is brought away again.

“Steve,” Dustin asks as the rest of the kids migrate back to the living room. An argument about movie choices ensuing. “Do you think I could stay over tonight?”

Steve thinks about it for a second before shrugging. “I guess so. Just check with your mom first.”

“She already said it was ok,” Dustin smirks. Going back to the living room with the rest of his friends.

“Of course she did,” Steve sighs. Going back to cleaning up the dinner.

Robin, Nancy, and Wayne hang back in the kitchen to help clean up. The leftovers get consolidated to one box and placed in the fridge. The plates get washed and put away. They make no move to leave the kitchen. Staying in the quiet instead of the chaos in the other room.

Steve pulls out four beers and hands one to everyone. They fall into casual conversation. Or, the three of them do. Wayne just holds back. Not much of a talker right now.

Eddie comes in from the living room a half hour later. Sitting next to Wayne at the island.

“Can I get one of those?” he asks.

“Depends,” Steve answers before Wayne can outright refuse. “How much and what pain medications are you on right now?”

Eddie rolls his eyes. “I hate you.”

“Sorry for trying to keep you alive.” He gives Eddie a once over. “You alright?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “I love them, don’t get me wrong, but they can be a lot all at once.”

“You have no idea,” Robin adds. Leaning halfway across the counter.

Nancy tosses her empty bottle into the recycling. “They’ve always been that way. And then they kept adding more people to the group. I can sometimes here them from my room. When they’re in the basement.”

Eddie winces. “Jesus.”

“No one would judge you if you wanted to turn in early. You’ve had a long day.” Steve hands Eddie a coke since he can’t have any alcohol.

“I might. The doctors woke me up at, like, six this morning for some test to make sure they could discharge me. Been up since then.”

“That’s not that early,” Nancy says.

Wayne snorts. “Maybe for you. Ed will sleep forever if you let him.”

“Like you’re not the same way.” Eddie jabs his elbow into Wayne’s arm.

“Have you seen your room yet,” Robin asks. “Dustin was micromanaging like crazy to make sure it was to your liking.”

“Really?” Eddie has a soft look on his face. “I can’t wait to see it then.”

“He’s staying the night, by the way. If that’s ok with you.”

Eddie yawns. “Yeah, that’s fine. Mind showing me where this room is. I’m beat.”

Steve sets his beer bottle on the counter, waiting for Eddie to stand. Leading him to his room with Wayne in tow.

“This is it. And the bathroom is the door right across from that.”

Eddie turns the handle, stepping in before looking at the posters on the wall. He stops for a moment, looking around. A breath of relief escaping when he finally steps all the way in. Looking like he’s back in a space that’s him.

“They did a good job.”

“Yeah, they did. Ask Dustin about it tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll tell you all about it.”

Eddie nods. “I will.”

There’s an awkward silence for a second before Steve starts talking again. “Just a few things I forgot to mention. If you’re going to smoke in the house, do it near a window, but I’d appreciate it if you took it outside. And don’t play music too loud, it triggers my migraines.”

“That all?” Eddie takes a step toward Steve. A playful tone lilting his voice.

Wayne is already getting sick of this.

“Yes,” Steve stutters out. “Just, uh, let me know if you need anything.”

Eddie nods. Reaching out and pulling Steve into a hug. “Thank you for this,” he whispers. “You really have no clue what it means to me.”

Steve returns the hug, tentatively.  “It was the least I could do.”

“That is an understatement, and you know it.” Eddie pulls back, clapping Steve’s shoulder gently before letting go.

“Have a good night,” Steve says on his way out.

Robin is in the hallway now, giving Steve a look. He sighs. “Not now.”

Wayne goes into Eddie’s room to ignore whatever that was going to be. “You going to be alright in here?”

Eddie sits down on the bed. Sighing in relief that he’s not putting weight on his legs. “Yeah. I’ll be fine.”

“Well, my room right above yours. So, if you need anything, yell or something. I might hear it.”

“I will.”

Wayne nods. Just standing in the room. Not quite knowing if he’s ready to leave it. Eddie rolls his eyes, extending his arms.

“Come on, old man.”

With a chuckle, Wayne leans down and hugs his son. They were never huggers, the two of them. Never needed to be. They knew they loved each other and showed it in their own ways. But Eddie is finally home after almost dying. He’s finally getting back to himself again. Everything is returning back to the way it should be.

“You better not be crying,” Eddie jokes. “I won’t be far behind if you are.”

Wayne lets out a wet laugh. Pulling back and just looking at Eddie. “I love you, kid.”

“Yeah, yeah.” Eddie tries to brush it off, but tears gloss over his eyes. “Love you too.”

“Have a good night, I’ll see you in the morning.”

He walks out of the room, shutting the door behind him. Heading back to a party that’s dying down. Feeling part of something much larger than he was expecting. A giant family that he’s now roped into.

Who would have guessed that?

tag list (closed): @the-they-who-nerded, @insteviewetrust, @croatoan-like-its-hot, @jettestar,

@tinyplanet95, @steddie-as-they-go, @slv-333, @littlecelestialmoth, @thatonebadideapanda,

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@here4thetrama, @goodolefashionedloverboi, @jaytriesstuff, @cryptid-system, @manda-panda-monium,

@resident-gay-bitch, @anaibis, @xxsutherlandxx, @forevermineliv, @mugloversonly,

@gregre369, @n0-1-important, @different-tale-student, @spectrum-spectre, @tartarusknight,

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@papergrenade, @waelkyring, @sweetheartprincess28, @katouasobj, @astercomoasflores

[miqojak]

From the OC creation ask set: How do you want other people to view or react to your OC?

Little OC Creation Ask List

Gosh, I...really haven't thought about it in this light. I want people to enjoy reading about her, but I don't have in mind how I want them to feel about her - she's a controversial little person. Does her awful past in a concentration camp give her the right to be how she is? Does she have a mental illness that's causing her to act this way (undoubtedly) - does that excuse her behavior? A large part of her, to me, is the awful truth that... she became a lot like the Garleans she despises with every bone in her body, and every fiber of her being. The way they treated her molded her... a lot like Zenos was molded, in a way! She was barely a teen, really, when she ended up in Garlean hands, and the things they did and the ways they treated her (and the ways in which her aether was altered) permanently changed the genuinely kind, and loyal person she once was into... something else entirely.

I used to sympathize a lot with Zenos, but now that we have Zero, I'd ask people to look to how Zero acts, and think about Jak - Jak was socialized among her tribe for a time, and then ripped away and grew up in a concentration camp, as a victim to many war crimes. Her emotions simply do not function like a normal person's any longer - she was a lot like Zero, and is still on a similar journey as Zero... learning what emotions are, really! What's that feeling in her chest? It's confusing, and disturbing...and frightening. She's known fear and loathing most of her life, and she's had...maybe 5-8 years at most in the 'real world', and only one person has really had the patience to help socialize her, and be patient with her while she learns about emotions... both her own, and everyone else's... mostly against her will, lol! (Learning to trust has been a huge journey for her, and still is, so it's beautiful to see a character so like my own in the story - emotionally stunted, and focused on what she gets out of things - and has really dragged me back to the game.)

She thinks a lot like Zero, as well - in bargains. In deals that she takes very seriously. Equitable exchange, or else. (Unless, of course, you let her take advantage of you in said deal, because if you're not as clever as her, she will. xD) Her life has been one of constant mistrust and betrayal, and much like Zero... she's having to learn that there is a world beyond that, whether she likes it or not, and she has to learn how to operate in it. (Apparently, people like it when you say 'please' and 'thank you'?? Ugh, if she must.)

All this said - it's not up to me how people feel about her. Hate her! Love her! Sympathize with her! Hate to love her, love to hate her! Or all of the above, and then some! As long as people are feeling something, that's the goal! She's not perfect, and she's meant to evoke mixed feelings - no one person is any one thing. We are all a mixed bag of good and bad... some more than others. I tried to make her 'human' in that aspect; there's reasons for why she is how she is, but they're not excuses - even when she'd like to think they are.

[saltpepperbeard]

Better alive than dead.

[ikarakie]

mike has a panic attack.

it's sudden and it's terrifying and eddie has no idea what to do. one minute they're all yelling and laughing and just playing d&d, and the next, mike is collapsing to the floor struggling to breathe. gasping out the same two names over and over again. the panic attacks eddie's had before were never, never this bad. for a fucking awful moment he thinks he's about to watch wheeler die.

lucas stays with him, crouched by his side and talking in gentle tones. murmuring words of assurance that, while good, don't seem to reach his friend. dustin had sprinted out of the room yelling into a walkie talkie as soon as mike went down, so eddie has no fucking idea what he's up to. not that he's able to focus on much other than the kid (because, god, he's so young, what the hell has happened to him?) trying and failing to just breathe.

he tries the shit that worked for him, trying to get him to breathe in time with his counts, but it's like mike's ears are full of cotton. there's not even a hint of recognition in his eyes as either him or lucas speak.

dustin returns exactly three minutes later, trailed by the last guy eddie would've ever expected to walk through the doors of hellfire club. steve harrington zeroes in on mike like a hawk, crosses the room quickly and crouches in front of him. lucas scoots away, visibly relieved to see steve, so eddie reluctantly does the same. mike's knees are to his chest and he's heaving sobs so powerful they wrack his entire body. for about thirty infuriating seconds, steve just watches.

"oh god- oh fuck- fuck- will, will-" mike is saying, through stilted breaths. "will, el- el- i can't- they're-"

"mike." steve's voice is like honey, low and soothing in a way lucas' can't be yet. mike snaps his gaze up, finally proving his ears work. "where are you right now?"

"hawkins lab-" mike chokes, and eddie just listens, dumbfounded. "hawkins- starcourt- fuck-"

"no," steve says gently. mike stares at him, slightly less glazed. "where are you?" he asks again, a little more pointed. a few seconds pass. mike's eyes dart around the room.

"hellfire." he whispers, barely audible. steve nods, asks if he can come closer, if he can touch mike. the kid nods frantically, and then his hands are being peeled from where they were curled protectively against his chest. they're placed against steve's instead, and they spend the next few minutes breathing in tandem. harrington demonstrating and mike doing his best to follow.

his breathing eventually evens out, thank god, and the heart-wrenching sobs simmer down into quiet tears. mike all but throws himself into the embrace steve offers, tucking his head under the guy's chin and seemingly making himself as small as possible.

"it's okay, you're okay." steve promises, speaking into mike's hair as he gently rocks them back and forth. "they're okay. they're just fine, both of them. you looked after them so well, bud." he keeps whispering reassurances and sweet, kind words into the little cocoon he's crafted. mike stays curled up there for a while, making a wet patch on steve's shoulder.

then finally sounding more like himself, grumbles, "just 'cos we're hugging doesn't mean i like you." after maybe four or five minutes have passed. steve just huffs a laugh, because despite his words, mike is still clutching steve's arms as he pulls back.

"of course not." steve agrees. mike smiles as his hair is carefully ruffled. turns and reaches for dustin and lucas, who waste no time in piling themselves onto their friend. steve doesn't go far though, keeping a hand in the hair at the nape of mike's neck.

it's only then that he finally makes eye contact with eddie, who's watched the whole thing go down with a sick curiosity. because... who was this guy? this was not king steve, or the asshole, cookie-cutter jock steve harrington that eddie knew of. eddie had thought dustin's nickname for him of 'number one babysitter' had been an exaggeration; that maybe he'd watched them a grand total of three times back when he and nancy wheeler dated, and dustin had developed some fixation on him.

but... no, here he was. having brought hard ass michael wheeler down from easily the worst panic attack eddie had ever seen with the ease of someone who's done it a million times. (and wasn't that a harrowing thought?)

"you mind cutting it a bit early tonight, man?" he asks, softly, and it takes eddie a second to register that he's speaking to him. "i know you've still got, like, 20 minutes, but-"

"no, no," eddie cuts him off, kind of desperate for wheeler to get home and rest. "shit, man. that was... yeah, of course, take him." steve smiles appreciatively (an annoyingly pretty expression eddie never imagined him capable of, let alone directing at him), and turns back to the kiddie hug pile.

"hey, boys? mike?" he calls, all gentle and warm. it makes eddie's heart ache; even more so when all three turn to steve with big, shiny eyes. mike's peek out from dustin's arms. "how about we head off now, and stop at that payphone on the corner of glenview on the way home? give the byers a call in california?"

mike nods, hinging on desperate. dustin and lucas give him one more good squeeze before agreeeing themselves. steve corrals them all up, bids a fucking goodnight to the present company, (plus an extra one for eddie specfically), and shuffles them out of the room. eddie, and the rest of hellfire, are left stunned in the wake of babysitter harrington.

(when mike tries to apologise the next day, eddie absolutely refuses to accept it- and, at lucas' timid request, writes the mind flayer he'd introduced out of the campaign entirely. the next session, it's like the thing never existed.)

[gay-dorito-dust]

( ´∀`) I am possibly missing where it says your requests are open or not. I apologize if it is.

If it interests you (your batfam posts bring me joy) how would the boys Jay, Dick, Damian (whoever else) would react to only being able to tell the truth for a day? Like they confess all the things they like about their crush, compliment their family, admit to disliking a dish Alfred made (GASP <(｀^´)> ).

Thank youuuuu~

Jason wore his heart on his sleeve, he lets anyone knows what’s on his mind with zero filter, so him being forced to be truthful was no different to how Jason actually was on a day to day basis.

So at first he doesn’t think anything was out of the ordinary until you asked him a question one day regarding your love life;

‘I don’t think I’ll be able to find anyone here Jay, I mean what do I have to do to find somebody.’

‘You don’t have to do anything because everyone else is the problem, not you.’ Jason found himself answering before his mind could find an appropriate response without crossing the boundary of your friendship. ‘They obviously don’t see perfection when they see it because they weren’t looking at you and I find that insulting because who wouldn’t look into your eyes and see forever within them?.’ He finishes and was quick to cover his mouth with his hand, worried that he might’ve said too much for you.

‘And do you see forever in my eyes jay birdie?’ You asked softly, leaning towards him.

Jason drops his hand from his mouth. ‘Hell yeah I do, amongst many other things because you’re worth every heartbreak I’ve ever had in the past because being with you would be my life’s greatest dream come true.’

The next time Jason spoke truthfully was when Dick came to visit and it was after a long, long night of patrol and sleep was at the forefront of his mind, causing it to fog as he let it slip on what he truly thought of Dick.

‘You’re my brother, we may not be related by blood but no one has stood in my corner and was so prepared to be in the wrong then you Richard, and for that I thank you. You really are the best of us.’

Needless to say when he found out that Dick had the whole thing recorded, he wanted to strangle the fucker and make his death look like an accident. Sibling things.

Now, Jason -much like any other- loved Alfred’s food and would never raise an issue over it as he’d pretty much eat anything with his bottomless stomach. So even if he didn’t like one of Alfred’s recipes more self then others, he would say it in the most politest way possible. He loved that kindhearted man too much to ever say anything in regards of the food he’s made him since he was a young lad.

Dick would find peoples expressions to him being honest and truthful funny, but at the same time would be somewhat relieved with this turn out, as he wouldn’t have to force himself to be truthful just to get people to stop asking whether he was alright or not.

He knew he wasn’t always open and honest with his innermost thoughts and feelings at the best and worst of times, knowing all too well of how that would cause lead to the occasional argument of two down the line for himself, but he was never really given the space to figure it out himself on his own time.

So when he found himself speaking the truth to just about anyone, it was as though his heart was exposed for all to see it beating and all. It was as though all of his innermost thoughts regarding everyone in his life was being broadcasted to anyone and everyone with ears and the ability to hear it.

‘You’re so good with Hayley you know.’ Dick blurted once when you were playing with Hayley, stoping as soon as you heard him say this, allowing for Hayley to snatch the toy from your limp hand and lie down elsewhere to amuse herself with the squeaks that the toy would make every time she bite down on it.

‘What?’ You asked.

‘I mean it, you’re really good with Hayley and you’ve been nothing but an amazing person with a pretty smile and addicting laugh.’ Dick adds as he held his head in his hands as he looked at you with a soft look upon his face. Dick wasn’t still that bothered that you knew how he felt, it was bound to come out sooner or later and would take it in stride, even if he didn’t have control over what had just came out of his mouth just now.

The next time Dick finds himself being truthful was when he visited Jason after a long night of patrol and in the midst of a silent period Dick then said;

‘You’re amazing Jason. Bruce doesn’t know what he’s talking about, he never did when it came to us Robins, using one of us as a frame of reference for everyone else isn’t fair but you are my friend, my brother and I am so proud of you. You are not a failure, you’re anything but one.’ Jason sat silent the entire time and after Dick had finished he made a noise from the back of his throat, a small smile gracing his face as he looked out over the streets of Gotham, reaching out to pat Dick on the shoulder and said. ‘Thanks man.’

Dick always cared deeply for Jason, seeing him as his little brother and would gladly stand in his corner no matter what, even if he was wrong because that was what older siblings did. Dick never shied away from how deeply he felt agonising pain when he though he had lost his little brother and confronted Bruce about the entire thing, enraged and grieving simultaneously. Now whenever he caught wind of what Jason was doing as red hood, he can’t help but smile knowing his brother was doing just fine, but would always make it known that he was just a phone call away.

Dick knew Alfred wasn’t going to bite his head off for saying that he didn’t like something but would instead ask how he could better it for his taste. So even if Dick did say anything about one of Alfred’s recipe, he knows Alfred would be more than understanding. However it was an unspoken rule amongst him and his siblings that they’d eat anything and everything Alfred made them without a single complaint unless it was necessary.

They all love that man too much to ever say anything negative about his cooking.

Damian would hate being forced to speak nothing but the truth.

He’d really hate it as being blunt and opinionated was how he always was and so being open and honest wasn’t his forte and it felt wrong in a sense due to it feeling as though he was put in a position of vulnerability.

He hates it even more when he finds himself confessing to all the things that he liked and or found remotely interesting about you whenever you were near, it felt as though someone was pupating him to say these things when deep down he knew they were how he genuinely felt but was too deep in denial to admit this to himself.

‘How do I look?’ You innocently asked.

‘Breathtaking like you always do so seamlessly.’ Damian replied without hesitation before looking up from his sketchbook once realisation hit him, only to see that you were already looking at him with wide eyes.

‘You mean that?’ You said, wanting to know whether or not you heard him properly.

‘Of course.’ Damian said and when he felt his mouth open, he tried to close it but it seemed as though his body had a mind of his own as he found himself continuing to speak. ‘On many occasions have I spent thinking you were naturally breathtaking and have thought so for many more on top of that to the point you are my one sole muse.’ He finished and it wasn’t long before you were planning your first date together.

Damian knew this wouldn’t be the first time he was going to be forced to speak the truth and the second time came in him actually complimenting Tim on his smarts and combat prowess, something that he’d rather drink pure poison before ever admitting out of pride.

‘Tt. Don’t sell yourself short Drake, you’re a competent Robin and an exceptional detective.’ He’d say when it was just him and Tim in the Batcave and immediately regrets it and makes him swear to secrecy, obviously this doesn’t last long after the period of speaking truthfully wears off and Damian goes back to being his blunt, straightforward, unapologetic self.

Damian loves Alfred’s cooking, but all of his cooking weren’t Damian’s favourite and while he wouldn’t hesitate to tell others how he felt, he didn’t feel the same when it came to Alfred’s cooking despite the man being nothing but kind and open minded.

So if he ever were to speak about his least favourite food Alfred had ever made and even when Alfred was more then accepting of his opinion, Damian would try to help Alfred however he could in return for his comments about his cooking. Alfred was probably one person he’d never want to hurt with his words.

[hannieween]

wanderer | heartbreaker series | c.sc

You were far from the girl that Seungcheol use to love. Because, time has a funny way of changing things and it sure as hell changed you.

✧ pairing: choi seungcheol x afab!reader ✧ genre: smut (18+) ✧ aus: boss seungcheol, exes to lovers ✧ word count: 18.5k

↣ part i | other fics | taglist | ko-fi

₊🎧: blame – i.m ♡ | bad – so!yoon

₊ nsfw tags under the cut

✧ warnings: hurt/comfort harassment: gross interactions with men, kinda ? slow burn—it takes them a while to get down to business, foul language, smut with plot, daddy kink, dom seungcheol, reader is really subby, big dick seungcheol, pussy drunk seungcheol, oral sex (f, m), multiple orgasms, unprotected p in v sex, manhandling, rough doggy style, creampies, dirty talk, pet names: love, angel, baby, newb, newbie (hers) daddy (his) ✧ please if you see mistakes, cont. errors no u didn't i'm very sleep deprived

✧ disclaimer: minors dni this post is intended for 18+ readers. please have your age stated in your description and try not to look like a bot please 🙂.

part ii

A streak of bad luck has been following you around lately, so it seems.

The past few days you have been stuck with a decision, one apparently easy to make, but something held you back. And the dilemma had settled a feeling of deep regret in the pit of your stomach, from the moment you wake up, to the moment you laid your head in your pillows.

You were used to late nights. In fact, for the past two years you've been staying up late, dealing with the stressful pace of academic life and it slowly made you lose the need for sleep at night.

It was only 2 AM. And you were tired enough to force yourself to sleep, but the dilemma had you feeling alarmed and anxious to the point that it shook your body, impulsing you to take action, to do something, anything.

You sighed, trying to relieve the tumultuous pressure crushing you from the inside.

In a sudden movement, you swung your legs over the edge of your bed, sitting up and saw your feet hanging.

You remembered the times you wished you could just pick up the phone and call your ex boyfriend and tell him how much you missed him, and how deeply remorseful you were of breaking up with him.

It haunted you for weeks, which turned into months and now you were faced with the possibility of going back together, after two years of zero contact.

But, even if it seemed impossible, going back to Choi Seungcheol was not the most urgent of your decisions to make.

Bad luck, it seems.

First, you had to get a job quick in a local bar due to your bills piling up and your stipend not being sufficient to live on. Then, you had the surprise to find that your ex is the owner of said bar. Not only that, things had ended up bad with him. So the only solution was to have sex with him on his office, obviously.

And now, your roommate is giving you the very late notice that you have been mandated to vacate the apartment you've been renting for a year. Apparently you got the notice a month ago, but your roommate just forgot to tell you until it was evidently too late.

You packed your things, which luckily for you, were not many. So you only occupied a few boxes for your clothes and stuff that fit perfectly on the trunk of your car and the backseat.

Now, you just needed a new place.

And it was in the following morning that you decided to leave your apartment. You knew that this situation could be solved through some legal counsel, but for months, you and your roommate have been at odds and you suspected that was why they 'forgot' to tell you about it all.

It was tuesday and also the day that you had to vacate your place. Returning to the bar after a day off was not as fulfilling in the sense that you had little to no rest. Packing things, disposing of some others.

And now, you needed to sleep.

But the memory of fucking your ex occupied your head, it needed your attention. His hands all over your body, his soft moans in your ear, the very familiar touch of his lips. The memory itself felt like a fever dream.

A dream which you dragged onto your subconscious long enough to also haunt you in your sleep, when it finally came. You dreamed of him, you saw flashes of the night you met him and experienced again all the awful things you made him go through.

The sensible thing was to let your boss know that you had run into trouble and needed to find a place soon. But being so that would mean talking to Seungcheol, you decided not to tell anyone just yet. You could manage, you could get crafty.

Sleeping in your battered Hyundai was a whole new adventure for you. And you were pretty much all for it. You made it feel cozy for you: throwing a bunch of pillows and blankets on the co-pilot seat, leaned back and you even found a way to change into your pyjamas inside the car.

But that would come after your shift.

Tuesdays, according to Wonwoo, were really slow. To the point that he was leaning on the countertop, each elbow propped to hold a book in his hands.

"Where's Mingyu?" you asked when the bar opened for business and were one bartender short.

"He's not coming today," Wonwoo, his roommate replied shortly.

"Is he okay?"

"He'll be alright," he cooed and lowered his book, pushing the rim of his glasses up the bridge of his nose. "His girl broke up with him yesterday morning."

"Huh? Why?" you gasped. "I thought–"

"Yeah, me too," Wonwoo said and scrunched up his nose in discomfort. "It caught him by surprise too, destroyed him. Boss told him he could take the day off."

You faltered for a second. "God, he must be feeling terrible," you said and thought of the happy-go-lucky guy, heartbroken.

"Mmm-mph," Wonwoo hummed and clasped his hands together on the countertop. "Well, there's not much to do for today, I think. Boss will come by later tonight so maybe we could do the little boring tasks."

And by that, Wonwoo meant doing the things you did not have the opportunity to get done during the weekend shifts, tasks ranged from the usual to deep cleaning.

"You have a thing for cleanliness," you pointed after an hour of deep cleaning all the utensils for the bar, the blenders, the mixers. He even emptied the ice machine and gave it a thorough sweep.

"It clears my mind off things," he mentioned quietly beside you.

"Mm, I see what you mean," you nodded. It had been an hour of pure silence between you, except for the low humming of the speakers that played something of your request and you noticed that Wonwoo was silently vibing to it.

Wonwoo could be a friend, you thought.

"What does your mind need clearing of?" you pried while you cleaned all of the napkin holders thoroughly.

"A few things that have been occupying it for a few days," he replied with a soft tone to his voice.

"I assume as much," you quipped with a grin, which he did not see. Wonwoo's back was turned to you as he seemed to be finishing the tedious task.

"That's bartender talk," Wonwoo said, turning around as he dried his hands from the little bits of ice with a cloth rag.

"Or friend talk?" you suggested with a shy smile.

One thing you were certain of these past few days of drowning in your own thoughts in silence was that you needed friends. It was a truth you've been ignoring for your own sake.

After the breakup, your closest friends seemed to fade quietly into the background, evidently siding with Seungcheol. Since most of your friends were his friends too, it was obvious whose side they had taken, but you did not resent them for their choices.

"It's nothing, newbie," Wonwoo sighed and nodded to the task you were in the process of. "Almost done with that?"

"Yeah, why?" you said, trying not to convey that Wonwoo just refused your invitation of being friends.

"Boss is coming," he said, and he sent an inquisitive glance your way and nodded to the front door of the bar.

You jolted and turned with a gasp to face the door before you could even take control of your body.

Only to find that the door stood still, and no one was approaching it.

"What?"

Wonwoo coughed and you turned to see him, a weak attempt to hide a chuckle. "I see," he said in a nonchalant manner.

"What? What do you see?" your eyes narrowed.

He mumbled with a very tiny voice an unconvincing 'nothing', pretending to busy himself with another task.

"Tell me," you insisted, glaring at him.

Wonwoo looked over the thick paste of his glasses and grinned at your seething expression. "Fine, okay," he said and stood up right facing you. "Do you... have a crush on him?"

"A crush?" your voice raised an octave higher. "A crush?!"

Wonwoo pursed his lips and cocked his head to the side. "Yeah, like a minor infatuation–"

"I know what a crush is, Wonwoo," you stopped him with a laugh.

"Ah, yeah. Well, do you?" he pushed his eyebrows.

"Why would I have a crush on him? I met him last week," you muttered unconvincingly and looked away from his curious eyes.

"And? I'm only asking because you act weird around him, even when he's not being a pissy asshole," he put in and you raised your gaze to find him scratching his chin.

"I don't think he's a pissy asshole," you interjected, and then shook your head. "I mean, he can be sometimes, but he has given me no reason to think that."

Wonwoo chuckled. "Right. Wait 'til something really pisses him off," he muttered. "But that's not what I wanted to say! You're really calm and collected and the minute he steps in, you're weird and shifty."

You looked at him in disbelief.

Wonwoo and Mingyu have been every step of the way with you since you started working at Seungcheol's bar. And you saw a potential of starting a friendship with both of them. It felt good to finally have a talk with someone in such a way.

"You are quite the detective," you pointed with a huff. "I just feel unnerved by him, Wonwoo. What can I say, you really helped pushing the asshole narrative around him."

"Around who?"

A gasp left your mouth again, but now it sent real shivers down your spine. You turned around to find Seungcheol standing behind you, quirking up an eyebrow at you.

"No one," you stuttered.

He wore what he usually did to work, just a plain white t-shirt, black jeans and boots. A pair of sunglasses pushed his pale blond hair back, it was still humid from what you assumed was a recently taken shower.

"Why are you chatting during work?" he asked with a low tone and looked at Wonwoo.

"I–we, we were working!" you blurted and dropped your gaze to your feet. "And talking... for a bit."

"What about?"

"A-bout something," you muttered nervously.

"Boss, she's terrified," Wonwoo chuckled and you lifted your gaze to see Seungcheol grinning from ear to ear.

And then he winked at you.

Your stomach dropped and you turned to see that Wonwoo was not watching your interaction with your ex turned boss.

"It's a slow day today," Seungcheol said with a commanding aura. "But don't relax too much, we're one staff short out here and I have a meeting later today so I can't be around much. It'll be just you two."

"Got it boss," Wonwoo nodded.

You nodded too, unable to speak a word under the nervousness tying a knot in your throat.

Wonwoo left the countertop and entered the kitchen, promptly leaving you and Seungcheol alone.

"How are you?" Seungcheol asked, his gaze had softened and started reading your face.

"I'm fine, Cheol," you put in unconvincingly. "Just a bit tired."

"We're just starting the week," he pointed, his eyebrow lifting slightly.

"I don't get rest," you said and added: "PhD stuff," you shrugged.

A restless feeling made your insides twist. Seungcheol knew you better than anyone on the planet. He knew your every mannerism when you lied and the shrug was a dead giveaway.

And he was also one of the smartest men you've ever met in your life.

"You better get around managing your time with that," he advised. "Don't want you to be overworked one week into this job."

You noticed his tone was not condescending, he looked a bit worried, even. His big brown eyes went over your worn expression, the dark circles under your eyes, chapped lips. And probably it did not help that you decided to forgo makeup that day.

"Okay... boss," you muttered softly.

But he was turning away from you already, effectively finishing your conversation when he pushed the 'STAFF ONLY' door and disappeared.

Deeply obfuscated, you meekly rubbed your hands in your jeans to wipe the sweat from them and returned to your seemingly pointless task, wanting nothing more but your shift to be over.

Seungcheol had been distant, keeping interactions with you at minimum. You understood he was giving you space, but you could not help but thing that he was probably taking your silence for a rejection to his proposal of going back together.

That night you had sex with him in his 'office', Seungcheol told you to think about his proposal, and give him an answer whenever and if you're ready.

"You don't have to give me an answer right now," he had whispered, leaning down to plant a kiss on your cheek. "But please think about it, will you?"

You saw his brows knit together and you could've swore something stabbed you in the heart. "I will. I'll think about it," you assured him.

From that moment on, there was not a single day when you did not think about him. He plagued your mind, every day and every hour. The feeling of Seungcheol being in your waking thought resembled the time you were freshly broken up, and there was not a day that went by that you didn't think of him.

But of course, this time it was different.

After your shift, you pretended to drive away in your car, only to get back after driving a good fifteen minutes around the block and parking on the small parking lot of the bar.

Sleeping in your old Hyundai was a whole new adventure for you. And you were pretty much all for it. You made it feel cozy for you: throwing a bunch of pillows and blankets on the co-pilot seat, leaned back and you even found a way to change into your pyjamas inside the car.

You rested your head and propped up your feet on the deck while you tried to sleep. First night sleeping in your car was not bad, even as a voice in the back of your mind told you this was supposed to be hitting rock bottom.

But in reality, it wasn't. It was temporary, you told yourself. Shit happens. And you got yourself in this mess, so you would get yourself out.

Now, another one of the worries in your head was something that you feared so much you tried not to pay attention to: Seungcheol.

Being the one that broke up with him, you certainly had a lot of guilt to carry. And you still needed to have that conversation with Seungcheol, even if he was apparently avoiding it.

Said guilt manifested itself as a painful jolt in your heart every single time you thought about him. You knew you still loved him, probably never stopped. But you also broke his heart.

If you were even thinking of going back to him, you needed to have that conversation. And you weren't sure if you were equipped to face what he had to say.

Last time you checked the clock before finally falling asleep it read 5 AM. Which would mean that you had about three hours to sleep if you wanted to get important stuff done the following day.

On the following morning, you woke up at 11 AM. You quickly changed into normal clothes inside your car. It was so cold outside that your windows were thankfully condensed. You couldn't see out and probably and hopefully no one saw you change clothes.

You drove to your university campus. One of the perks of the campus was the gym, which had showers and hot water, everything you needed to freshen up. You tended to your needs and quickly moved to the library to do some apartment scouting.

Being in a PhD meant that you had to do a lot of research, mostly. Your tasks were reading, writing and presenting weekly results. But due to the time crunch you were in, you had to make do and search for a new place to live and send out some emails pertaining to your research.

So you had about six hours to maybe find a place to move in as soon as possible. It was a difficult feat, though, to find something affordable, in a close proximity to where you used to live and leasing immediately.

Hours flew by, your stomach jolting from anxiousness and hunger when you had to leave the library and drive to the bar.

You bit the inside of your lower lip. The mere idea of seeing Seungcheol had you sighing and muffling a small yelp of pure anxiety and your forehead hit the steering wheel, and you did it again, and again.

Three taps on your window made you jump in your seat and look up to find Wonwoo standing outside of your car, looking to the interior with a concerned face.

"Are you okay, newbie?" he asked, standing back as you opened the door of your car and stepped out.

"I'm fine, just hungry," you partially lied. You were hungry, but that was not the reason why you were banging your head against the wheel.

"You know that you have a meal, right? Boss didn't tell you?" he said slowly, pointing to the bar with his thumb.

"Nope," you shook your head once.

His eyes focused on the backseat of your car, which was stuffed with boxes, then he spotted your blankets and pillows huddled in the passenger's seat.

"Are you–," his eyes snapped back to yours. "Are you living in your car?"

You closed your eyes in defeat, sighing. "Yes," you replied flatly.

"Why?" he looked alarmed, but then he quickly added: "Are you okay? Do you want a place to crash?"

"I'm fine, Wonwoo," you tried to reassure him, but the tone in your voice betrayed you. "I... like it."

He blinked in bewilderment. "You're telling me that this is your choice?"

Wonwoo was so tall that you had to angle your face up to see him, your eyes squinted because of the daylight hitting your eyes.

"Yeah, it is," you weren't lying, but telling the whole story didn't seem like something you were equipped to do at the moment.

"I'd ask if you have someone you can stay with but if you did you'd be doing that already," he put in simply and then crunched his nose instantly. "Crap, sorry. Please ignore I said that."

You laughed awkwardly. "What was that?"

"I tend to have Freudian slips when I'm really really tired," he brought a hand to the nape of his neck to rub embarrassedly.

"What–Freudian slips," you huffed. "Well don't let me be around you every time you don't get enough sleep," you laughed.

"Just smack me in the head if I say something like that again," he looked embarrassed and it was a cute sight from the ever reserved Wonwoo.

"Noted," your eyebrows quirked up. "But I'm fine, you don't have to worry."

"You're not convincing me," he stated. "You can crash in our place, I promise Mingyu won't have an issue with it," he offered kindly.

Your heart swelled a little to the idea of someone worrying about you. Even if that someone you didn't completely know yet.

"And we're also not like, creepy or whatever. We'll give you space," he added, seeing your hesitation over it.

"I'll think about it over food, alright?" you gave him a weak smile. "Thank you, though. I really appreciate it."

That made him smile sweetly at you and nodded towards the bar with his head. "Alright, let's go inside."

"Hey, can I ask you a favour?" you walked by his side through the small parking lot behind the bar.

"Sure, anything," he nodded again with his head.

"Can you... not mention this to anyone? Specially Se-seungcheol?" you stuttered a bit.

He paused and looked at you. "You got it," he replied with a hint of intrigue in his eyes.

"Thanks," you muttered before going through the back door of the bar.

The dark hallway smelled faintly of floor detergent like it did before your shift. All of the doors were closed, so you didn't know yet where Seungcheol was yet as you walked through the door that led to the interior of the bar.

"No problem," he muttered softly and opened the door that led to the bar. "The reason why I approached you was because I have something I forgot to tell you last night."

You smiled. "You're being weird," you pointed. "Tell me."

He scoffed and rolled his eyes, to then toss his backpack in the last booth at the back of the bar. "I'm tired, leave me alone," he muttered shyly. "I'm recruiting an extra pair of hands to help you during the weekends. I'm actually interviewing someone in a few minutes."

"Oh?" your eyebrows arched up. "That's nice! Do you want any pointers for your jerk persona now?"

He laughed shyly, his nose wrinkling a bit. "It's okay, Newbie. I'm not doing that this time."

"Why?" you frowned.

"Cheol is going to listen to the interview. And I don't want to see what his reaction would be," he muttered, looking around the bar for any signs of his boss. Your boss.

"Yeah, I wouldn't either," you mumbled with a smile.

"Go get your meal and I'll cover you if necessary, got it?" he nodded to the kitchen.

Wonwoo could be a friend, you thought. You had friends, yes. Some people you met in university that are in your life.

After the breakup, your closest friends seemed to fade quietly into the background, siding with Seungcheol. Since most of your friends were his friends too, it was obvious whose side they had taken, but you didn't resent them for their choice.

The menu for today was chicken hamburgers.

Mingyu sat with you in the kitchen, keeping each other company as you both ate in silence. Mingyu ate his food at a slow pace and heavy reluctance. You noticed he was hungry enough to keep eating, but had little to no energy to do so.

It broke your heart to see him like this, his puppy eyes dimmed, the heaviness of his movements, barely talking. You gently patted his shoulder once and he almost jolted awake from his thoughts.

Mingyu patted the back of your hand and nodded in understanding.

You briefly thought of Seungcheol and that made your heart lurch even harder. Who stood by him when you left?

When you came out of the kitchen, some ten minutes later you started with your tasks, which mainly consisted in arranging cutlery, napkins, etc.

You could hear over the music Wonwoo's low voice speak with another person. So you assumed that he perhaps was in his interview, and you knew Seungcheol would be close, so you stuck to the other side of the bar, pretending to be busy.

The day before, during your shift, you took the same tactic: pretending to be busy to avoid even looking in the direction of your ex.

So you were restocking bottles of ketchup in the bartop where Mingyu was also busy himself, and didn't looked as glum when he had something to do.

His eyes lifted up and toward the bar's entrance.

"Oh, hi there Jeonghan-hyung," he called with a lazy smile. "Are you here to see Cheol?"

The exchange was quick, so the moment you looked up from Mingyu to the person he was talking to, you saw your former best friend walk into the bar, but stopping dead in his tracks when he saw your face.

"Jeonghan?" you blurted, your voice quivered with emotion, picking up a higher pitched tone.

His eyes widened and he approached cautiously as if he had seen a ghost. You identified with the feeling; your heart was pounding a mile a minute as you struggled to maintain your composure.

Despite your best efforts, tears welled up in your eyes, overwhelmed by the emotion of seeing your best friend after years of no contact.

"Oh, you two guys know each other?" Mingyu's voice sounded faint in the buzz in your ears.

His brow furrowed. "Uh, yeah, she's-"

You made a motion to shook your head ever so slightly, as if saying stop right now, abort mission, and he, knowing you like the palm of his hand understood in a second.

"She's an old friend," he pressed his lips in an empty smile. He closed the distance between you and him.

You flinched a little when he pulled you into a hesitant hug, seemingly playing his part in the old friends thing; a situation you hadn't entirely processed yet. At least he understood your silent message and stopped himself from mentioning you were Seungcheol's ex.

"You got some explaining to do," he muttered in your ear so quickly that you had to take a second to process what he'd said.

"I know," you whispered and pulled away.

Jeonghan was the first friend Seungcheol introduced you to when you started dating, almost six years ago. The two of you hit it off instantly and formed a strong bond that ended rather tragically when you left.

So it could probably come as a shock to find the person who broke his best friend's heart after two years of zero contact.

And you didn't blame him.

"Uh, yeah. We're old friends," you muttered shakily, turning away from the still pale looking Jeonghan.

"Are you working here?" he asked in a low tone, and looked around.

You followed his gaze, understanding that he was looking for Seungcheol.

"Yeah," you replied with a shaky breath. "I've only been here for two weeks."

"What?" he whispered bewilderedly. "Where is he?"

"If you're looking for Cheol, he's interviewing someone right now," Mingyu interjected, still paying close attention to the conversation between you and your former friend.

Your eyes could not stop looking at him. Unchanging, never aging Jeonghan. Once your best friend, your brother and confidant. The ache in your heart was so sharp that it made your breathing quicken, swelling in your chest.

Jeonghan nodded. "Mingoo, can you tell him that I'm here, please?"

"Of course," the taller man turned to carry out the favour.

It was evident to you that Jeonghan wanted to get a minute alone with you. If Mingyu noticed it too, he didn't look the part.

"What the fuck?" Jeonghan whispered, dragging you to a corner and far from the ears of anyone else. "I thought you were in the other side of the planet. The fuck are you doing here? In Cheol's bar?"

"I came ba-back a year ago," you muttered, the internal turmoil had your in the brink of shaking.

"And?" his hand was still on your shoulder from where he dragged you out of earshot, he was leaning slightly toward you, still looking deeply confused and alarmed.

"I'm cut off from my family–,"

"Again? Fuck," he run his hand through his short black hair irately.

"This time is definite," you repeated the same thing you did to your ex. "And I needed a job so I got here but I swear I had no idea this was Seungcheol's. I promise I didn't know and Wonwoo hired me and–"

"Stop, stop," he whispered hurriedly, looking over at the bartop.

Wonwoo was returning from the interview, looking over at you and Jeonghan with his analytic eyes, the expression on his face didn't give away anything else.

"Han," Mingyu called from behind the bartop. "Boss says to meet him in his office."

Jeonghan nodded and turned to look at you. "They don't know, right?" he muttered through tight lips.

"Seungcheol doesn't want them to know."

"Fucking hell," he said under a breath. "I'll be back in a bit, okay?"

You nodded, feeling like you could cry. Which Jeonghan noticed, and quickly snuck a hand on the back of your head to pull you in a warm embrace, your face landed on his shoulder and you stifled back a sob.

"Come on, don't cry. Everything's fine," he muttered softly. "Bar's almost about to open and you don't want to be all puffy and red for that now, do ya?"

"Shuddup, Han," you giggled.

"I'm just saying. Now, I have to get going. But I'll call you okay?"

The hand on the back of your head ruffled your hair before pulling away, and you watched him walk away and disappear through the door that led to your ex's office.

You stood there contemplating the nothingness for a second before you felt someone's eyes looking fixedly at you. Wonwoo was working, but keeping an inquisitive eye on you.

Taking a deep breath, you decided to ignore his scrutiny by continuing to get the bar ready for open hours.

When the bar finally opened, you were eager to immerse yourself carrying orders out and basically doing anything that could distance yourself mentally from your ex.

After an hour, Jeonghan came back to the bar, looking the way he did when he needed to speak his mind. But he just pulled you aside after making sure you were free enough to do so.

"I'm still confused about all this shit," he muttered briefly. "Look, I only came here to drop something off and I need to go, but I want to catch up with you," then he hugged you again.

You returned the hug, closing your eyes to savour the moment as best as you could.

"I'll see you soon," he reassured you and pulled away once again, leaving the bar at once.

In a few words, your day was a bit shitty so far. It was the first time in two years you saw Jeonghan, who in all fairness, had all the right to not even acknowledge you after leaving his best friend heartbroken.

But to your surprise, he was open to have a conversation with you.

Something you were looking forward to.

The bar was starting to really pack up by 9 PM. And you understood what Wonwoo said about having a helping hand soon, because you could barely manage. Being a wednesday night, the bar was reasonably packed and you were growing more and more tired.

So you had to deal with a number of problems: despite being quick and efficient, you were only one person to cover most of the tables. Most of your orders got delivered on time, but you couldn't always be as fast enough and a couple of customers were starting to get annoyed.

Feeling stressed, you let out a heavy breath while you looked at the machine, preparing the bill for a table.

"Do you want some help?" you heard Seungcheol ask.

You turned abruptly with a start, a hand flying to your chest. "You scared me," you explained but it was evident enough.

His eyebrow arched and his lips pressed in a line. "I have to stop doing that," he muttered with a nod.

"Yeah," you sighed, straightening your t-shirt. "I'll appreciate that—some help, I mean. Thanks," you tried giving him a smile.

But you just couldn't. You looked up at his dark eyes, adorned by his beautiful eyebrows that frowned at seeing your face.

"Something wrong?" he muttered, reading your face.

"Can we-," you started, but you got distracted by someone on the tables waving for your attention. "Sorry, I have to get this," you got the bill and grabbed the pin pad and left to continue working.

You walked over to the table that was occupied by two older men. The one that had waved you down had that look on his face that made your skin crawl and put your guard up.

"There you are, sweetcheeks," he said in a gruff voice, raw from alcohol. "What took you so goddamn long?"

In your experience, you've had many people call you things. It certainly doesn't matter in those times you notice the names mean no harm. But this time, it was different.

The hair on the back of your neck stood up, and something told you to finish the interaction and ask for backup immediately.

"Are you ready to order?" you put in flatly, trying to maintain your expression blank.

"Oof," the other one interjected. "Aren't you nice," he spat with an obvious tone of sarcasm.

You sighed heavily and clicked your pen and pretended to wait for them to order.

"Are we boring you?" one of them spat.

At that, you knew you had to finish the interaction.

"Well, let me know when you're ready to order," you retorted and turned away from the table.

But a rough, calloused hand caught your wrist before you could walk away properly.

"Don't go yet, kitten," one of the two gross men whinged, you didn't care to look who it was.

In a split second, you thought of responding verbally to back off. But every cell in your body just wanted to walk away from the situation. Dealing with gross men was not something you wanted to do in that moment, you just wanted to walk away.

With a clean move, you yanked your wrist away from their grasp, turning to give the deadliest stare you could muster to the guy that dared to touch you and walked away hurriedly.

Neither of Wonwoo or Mingyu appeared to have witnessed the crude exchange. But in your hurry, you stumbled against Seungcheol who was just walking past you.

"What's wrong?" he stopped you, looking at your face carefully.

You probably looked disturbed, and rightfully so—you felt deeply unnerved. It was not your first time dealing with gross men, it wasn't even your first interaction with someone rude in the bar, but it was the first time someone dared to touch you.

"Nothing—those guys are fucking rude," you muttered offhandedly, but you knew there was no deterring from Seungcheol's scrutiny.

"What did they say? What did they do?" he asked darkly.

"Cheol, I'm fine, just–," you looked up, his gaze had hardened completely. You faltered. "They grabbed me and called me gross names," you blurted and held your wrist, trying not to convulse in utter repulsion.

"Who?"

His eyes were devoid of all liveliness, jaw clenched, nostrils flaring. That was the real angry Seungcheol you knew.

You pointed meekly towards the table you just walked away from.

"Go to my office," he muttered before approaching the table.

The last thing you saw was Seungcheol make a sign with his hand at Wonwoo, who just nodded and left his post in a heartbeat before you walked to the door and into the hallway.

You made a stop at the bathroom to frantically wash your hands and attempt to calm yourself down. The attempt was futile, though, because you felt like you had been shaken to your core.

When you opened the door to Seungcheol's office, you half expected to find the dark room lively and packed with gamblers. But it was completely vacant, it made you feel uneasy. You desired to hear the bustle of the active gambling tables.

Instead, you sat at a chair near the entrance. Not wanting to go to Seungcheol's large desk in the corner of the room for obvious reasons.

The door was pushed open some ten minutes later, which to you felt like an eternity.

"Are you alright?" Seungcheol closed the door behind him, but he didn't approach.

You nodded with your head. "I'm fine," you muttered. "What happened?"

He made a dismissive gesture with his hand. "It's taken care of," he replied simply.

But you knew he was acting controlled—probably still containing his anger.

"I'm sorry," you mumbled, feeling ashamed. "I could've handled the situation–"

"You don't have to apologize," he cut in, lifting a hand to stop you.

He closed the distance between you and him and crouched in front of you, so now, you were looking down to find his dark gaze.

"Nobody lays a finger on you. You know that, right?" he said as he reached for your hand, giving it a squeeze.

The many times you've heard Seungcheol say that in the past. Oh god, the mental whiplash it gave you to see him like this again, to hear him say the same things he used to when you were together.

You bit your quivering lower lip and nodded. "I know," you replied.

"I can't prevent something like that from happening again. But never apologize for stuff like this. It's not your fault."

You sighed heavily because of the emotions swelling your chest. "Alright," you whispered.

His dark eyes studied your face again, noticing how shaken you still were because he stood up, not letting go of your hand to pull your body gently to his own.

"Come here," he muttered.

You stood up from the chair, being pulled to a warm embrace by Seungcheol. You buried your head in his hard chest and at that, you let yourself crumble under the swell of emotions that plagued your whole day.

"It's okay, baby. It's okay," he whispered, bringing a hand to caress your hair.

God, you could die in his arms. It surely felt like that. So many times had he lent a shoulder for you to air out your emotions, but this time felt like being born again. You stayed in his arms for quite some time until you felt like you were okay and slowly pulled away.

"Are you feeling better now?" he asked in a soft tone.

You nodded, avoiding his eyes. "'m fine. I have to go back," you muttered.

"You don't need to if you don't want to," he suggested.

"That's not fair for the guys," you pointed. "I'll go back. Thank you for... everything," you darted a look.

At seeing his serene eyes, your insides jolted uneasily. You urged to kiss him, to listen to his voice and laugh, it had been so long since you've heard his bursts of laughter you ached for it.

Seungcheol was looking at you attentively, his eyebrows nudged slightly. "You were going to tell me something before."

You sighed, nothing ever escapes him. "Can we talk?"

His gaze softened. "Of course," his lips pursed in a downturned smile.

"After work?" you suggested in a small voice.

"Whenever you want," he replied.

Your heart hurt from how eager he looked for a second.

You nodded and whispered, "Okay," before exiting his office and returning to the bar.

It was the last hours of your shift, so most tables were leaving before the closing hour. The table where the incident happened stood vacant until you closed the bar for the night.

"Guys," Seungcheol called once the place had emptied of customers and everyone was good to go home.

Wonwoo and Mingyu stopped what they were doing in the moment to look at their boss.

"We need to talk about what happened tonight," he sighed heavily and ran a hand through his pale blond hair—a dead giveaway that he was getting heated again.

"Yeah, what happened, boss?" Mingyu frowned. "One minute, Newb was managing the tables just fine and the next you were kicking out two dudes on your own."

Your cheeks flushed and your gaze dropped to the floor.

"Two idiots thought it was okay to lay hands on her," Seungcheol put in darkly, and sighed again. "I apologize for the way I acted but–"

"It's okay," Wonwoo intervened calmly. "We understand."

Your eyes narrowed and you found Wonwoo offering a quick knowing look to you.

"It was... kinda epic boss," Mingyu looked exhilarated at the memory. "I mean, no offence but the way you handled those guys?"

Mingyu made a brief reenactment by using Wonwoo's body as a prop; grabbing him by the nape of his neck and twisting his arm behind his back.

Wonwoo snorted and broke away with a small smile on his lips.

You muffled a groan in sheer embarrassment. "I'm sorry for any inconvenience I caused guys. The least I wanted to do is cause a sce–,"

"What?" Mingyu blurted. "Newb, don't apologize for that. The minute you feel someone is disrespecting you, tell us."

"And if anyone oversteps again, they will be kicked out. By any means necessary. Don't even get their bill. I don't care," Seungcheol instructed.

"Got it boss," Mingyu nodded.

"Also, a new hire is coming in tomorrow, to lift some weight off your shoulders," Wonwoo told you directly.

"Wait, so Newb will need a new nickname? I kind of got used to calling you that."

"How about you call her by her name?" Seungcheol retorted with a huff.

"What's your name again?" he asked you, and burst in a goofy giggle. "I'm kidding, 'm kidding."

You rolled your eyes, but seeing Mingyu laugh easily made you smile and laugh with him.

Seungcheol caught that, a small glint of contentment appeared in his eyes and you could see that the corners of his lips twitched before he pretended to cough and walk away and into his office.

"Freakin' weird," you heard someone whisper and raised your eyes to see Wonwoo shaking his head.

"What is?" you dared ask, seeing that Mingyu had busied himself in other stuff so it was just the two of you.

"Cheol is been acting weird all week," he shrugged and looked over his shoulder to make sure no one was listening, but you two were alone. "And I'd never seen him this upset."

Well, I have, you wanted to reply but that would be a lot to explain. Not towards you though, he never got irked at you. Arguments with him could get heated, but never in the way that would get anywhere near that intimidating.

"Is it the first time something like this happens?" you asked instead.

"Nothing like this," he shook his head calmly. "We've had a few cases of problematic people but... whatever. Have you decided yet if you want to crash at our place?"

The sudden change in conversation made you snap back to reality. You had almost forgotten that you were sleeping in your car.

"I uh..."

"Newb is staying at ours?" Mingyu came back carrying his backpack on one shoulder.

You both looked at the taller man who was fixedly looking at his phone screen, a small smile appearing on his face.

"No, guys. Thank you but I need to... sort out some things first," you replied hesitantly.

"Oh okay," Wonwoo shrugged. "Are you sure, though? Sleeping in your car doesn't sound pleasant."

"I'm fine," you maintained. "Thank you."

You were barely familiar with Wonwoo and Mingyu, they haven't given you any reason to not trust them but it just didn't feel right to accept their proposal.

Wonwoo nodded. "Let me know if you need anything," was the last thing he said before exiting the bar along with his roommate, essentially leaving you alone with Seungcheol.

He was in the backroom, as you supposed. You glanced first inside the dark room, only to find him sat in the long chair, elbows propped in his desk, his eyes immersed in his phone screen.

You landed a knock on his door, and his eyes snapped to find you by the doorway.

"You don't have to knock," Seungcheol showed you a gummy smile and nodded toward you, the movement making his blond bangs fall on his eyes.

"Sorry, didn't know if you were busy," you explained as you made your way to the desk, using all the strength you had in you to push the memory of him fucking you in this same desk just two nights ago.

His dark eyes were fixed on your face and he stood up so he could level with you.

"Everything okay?" he asked in a low tone, denoting his anxiousness.

"Yeah, just," you swallowed thickly, feeling already very restive. "I wanted to talk about what happened."

An awkward smile rose in his lips. "When?"

You sighed. "Last week," you muttered shyly. "We can't do that again, Cheol."

When you didn't follow up, you could see his features change and break. He nodded in silence and dropped his gaze to the floor.

Then it dawned on you that you weren't being entirely clear. "I mean, I work here now. And the guys are not dumb, they are catching on a few things."

"Why do you say that?" his eyes met your again.

"Wonwoo thinks I have a crush on you," you said while trying not to blush.

"Why?" he frowned. "He told you that?"

"Yeah, he was a little upfront about it. But not only that, I... kind of got emotional when I saw Jeonghan earlier today and Mingyu noticed," you muttered with some embarrassment.

"Oh," he blinked and his eyes appeared to be knowing. "I should've given you the heads up that Jeonghan was stopping by. I'm sorry."

A frustrated sigh fell from your mouth. Suddenly feeling like you could explode from so many emotions under one day. The exasperation in your eyes made Seungcheol frown.

"But that's what I'm supposed to say, Cheol: I am sorry. I'm sorry for everything, I'm sorry for how I ended things," you said, your voice thickening with emotion.

"I'm sorry, too," he whispered, and it broke you how much it still hurt.

"No—please, Cheol listen to me, I could have done things differently, but I was irrational. Trust me, the minute I boarded that plane, I wanted to go back–,"

"You had no choice," he cut off, his frown deepening. "Baby, don't think for a second that I blamed you for that. You were left with no choice. I understand that now, and I moved on."

Your eyes welled up in tears and rolled down your cheeks as soon as the words sunk in. "But I left anyway," you insisted. "I'm sorry for leaving."

His eyes glistened, a hand reaching out and grabbing yours. "I'm sorry for not trying to stop you."

It was like reopening a wound in your heart. The pain from it shook you so hard that you physically recoiled from it. Many times, you wished he had stopped you from leaving, but you had to live for years with the knowledge that he respected your choice to go.

"Cheol, don't be–,"

"But I am, I'm sorry for letting you go that easily when we could've tried and find a way to solve things together," he explained, his voice dropping to a mere murmur and you could tell that he wanted to have this conversation for the longest time.

Then his hands cupped your face, making your chest tighten under so much resentment and pent up emotions from the past two years.

"Look at me," he whispered and you met his dark eyes. "We both made a mistake. But we can fix it together."

You grabbed his wrists, brushing his skin with your thumbs. "I need more time to think, Cheol," you pleaded. "My life is a bit chaotic right now."

His eyes softened as he felt your touch. "Take all the time you need," he replied in a low murmur. "I'm here whenever you're ready."

"Thank you, Cheol," you whispered, mustering a small smile. "I promise I'll sort things out soon."

A soft smile tugged at the corners of his lips. "I'll wait for you. Don't worry," he assured you, squeezing your hand gently.

A deep sigh escaped you, revealing that you had been holding back tears throughout the entire conversation. Your throat tightened, and within moments, tears welled up in your eyes, spilling down as the last image you saw was his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

A second later his arms were wrapped around you again. You instantly hid your face on his shoulder to cry freely, releasing all the guilt you've been bottling up for the past two years.

But hearing him apologize to you too made you discover that you've been wanting this for the same amount of time. You always felt like he let you walk away from his life too easily, even if it took you all the energy you had to do it.

Seungcheol's arms held you close, but you could feel his face snuggling on the crook of your neck, comforting you with his hands rubbing your back.

He let out a shaky sigh. "It's okay, baby. Let it all out. It's okay."

After five minutes of sobbing on his shoulder, you pulled away sniffing and trying to smooth down his ruined t-shirt.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to cry that hard. I just had the shittiest day," you muttered, gathering yourself and wiping your tears.

Seungcheol nodded in understanding. "I know, baby. I know it was hard. Don't let me rob you of more time you could use to be resting."

He motioned towards the door and got the lights of his office before stepping out into the parking lot behind the bar.

"Is working with me horrible?" he wondered, looking at the night sky. "I guess working with your ex must be stressing."

"Is it stressing for you?" you retorted as you made your way to your car.

"A bit," he admitted, showing you a smile to let you know he was joking. "It's not, really. Just the first day, I was losing my shit."

That made you chuckle. "Me too," you coincided. "But to answer your question, no. Having you as my boss is not as terrible as the boys said it'd be."

His thick brows furrowed. "They say that?" he pouted.

"Oh, you didn't know?" you asked alarmed. "Forget I said that."

His face relaxed and he grinned again. "I'm just playing with you. I'm well aware of what they say."

You shrugged and tried to come up with a response but a long yawn got in the way, making you shudder and almost shed a little tear.

"Wow," he laughed. "You need to get some rest, soon."

"Hm, sorry," you mumbled shyly, feeling a blush creep on your cheeks. "It's just that I haven't been getting much sleep and with the research and apartment hunt... 'm just so stressed about it."

"You didn't tell me you were in the middle of moving," he blinked, looking a bit more serious. "Do you need help with searching?"

You bit your tongue. Was that a Freudian slip?

"I uh... actually need a place to stay as soon as possible," you admitted.

"I'm not following," Seungcheol frowned.

The face he made next made your insides twist. He pursed his lower lip upward, pouting slightly. It was so rewarding to see him lose the initial resentment he had just a few days ago.

But deep down you knew that rebuilding your relationship with him would probably result difficult.

So you decided to start with being honest.

"My ex roommate gave me the late notice that we were evicted," you explained slowly: "I've been sleeping in my car for the last few nights."

"What, seriously?" he leaned toward the windows of your car to take a look inside in.

More than appearing to be worried, he looked kind of disappointed.

"Why didn't you–," he started, but then he seemed to remember: "Oh, wait. You were taking your space."

"Sorry about that," you shrugged. "I've been managing just fine but I do need to find a place soon."

You watched him nod with his head and press his lips together, making the dimples on his cheeks show.

"Seems like you're coming with me," he cooed softly.

You arched an eyebrow. "Don't look so unwilling, Cheol. You're making me feel bad," you quipped.

He just sighed and tutted softly, the way he did when he was putting the show of being disappointed. His hand fished the interior of all his pockets and pulled out his car keys.

"You can leave your car here," the locks of his grey wrangler clicked off. "Now let me move your stuff to the trunk."

You reluctantly unlocked the doors of your car and Seungcheol flung the backseat door open to unload the cardboard boxes and put them in the trunk of his car.

"Thank you," you smiled once Seungcheol loaded the trunk of his jeep with your stuff.

"Don't mention it," he muttered as he opened the door for you.

You climbed in his wrangler and looked around. "You got your dream car," you pointed, sinking in the creamy white leather seats that still smelled brand new.

"You remember," he said with a smile that reached his sleepy eyes before starting the engine.

Of course I do, you wanted to say. You wanted to tell him that there wasn't a single day in your two years without contact with him that you didn't remember him.

Seeing Seungcheol at the wheel, driving in the dead of the night brought a slew of memories. The amount of times he would drive to get you back home before dawn, or the times he'd pick you up to take you to dinner.

He would grab the steering wheel with one hand and with the other he would stroke your thigh with his thumb. Sometimes he would tease you a little, dragging his knuckles down your thigh, then down and so on.

"Your thoughts are loud," he muttered and sent a knowing look at you.

Your ex boyfriend was different now. Not the younger, dark haired version that used his brother's car to get you back home before your parents noticed you were gone.

It wasn't just the hair that had changed, or his body that gained more muscle mass.

"I was just... thinking," you mumbled, looking away from him and into the quiet streets.

"Yeah, I just said that," he laughed goofily.

You felt your heart swell hearing his goofy laugh, it made you choke back a sub. "Stop it," you whined, but couldn't resist to laugh with him. "I'm tired. I can't think straight."

He sighed with a smile on his face. "Do you want to grab something to eat or do you want to go straight to bed?"

"Bed," you muttered, dropping your head to the window beside you and letting yourself rest a little.

The car came to a full stop some five minutes later.

You blinked and stretched your arms, unbuckling your belt as Seungcheol opened your door for you. To get out of the car you practically had to jump and that made him smile fondly.

"Do you have all your stuff there?" he asked nodding to the boxes.

"Yup. I don't own much," you explained, searching for a medium sized box labelled 'pjs and stuff' where you put everything you needed for sleeping such as hygiene stuff, pyjamas and undergarments.

"Let me carry that," Seungcheol hurried, taking the box from your hands. "Do you need anything else for tonight?"

"Mmm dunno," you considered to look for the box that had your jeans and most used tops but you were just too tired to do so.

"Let's go up then," he nodded towards a building and you walked towards the back door, you pushed it open, letting Seungcheol through.

"Can you get my keys, please?" he asked before stopping in front of the elevator doors. "They're in my back pocket."

"Which one?" your arm circled on his right side.

"I don't know," he replied with the ghost of a smile, looking down at your face.

You let out a sigh and dug your hand on the back pocket of his black trousers, practically feeling his firm ass to find the pocket empty.

"I'll try the other pocket," you mumbled shyly, and circled your other arm to dig into the other pocket. "It's empty, too."

Your cheeks were growing hotter by the second, because the enjoyment in Seungcheol's eyes was undeniable. You rolled your eyes and palmed the front pockets of his trousers to find the keyring on his right front pocket.

"What, no groping this time?" he chuckled a little.

"Don't push it, Cheol," you sighed and called the elevator and used the fob key on the sensor.

"We're going to one-eight," he nodded to the buttons of the elevator and you followed, pressing the button to the eighteenth floor.

"That's high," you pointed. "Is that the second to last floor?"

"It is," he nodded and rested the back of his head on the wall.

"When did you move here?" you pried.

Seungcheol was standing across from you, so you could see him clearly under the dim lights on the elevator.

"Five–six months ago," he replied, looking upward while he remembered. "I moved out of the other apartment a month after you left, if that's what you're actually wondering."

It was what you actually wanted to know.

Seungcheol didn't use a condescending tone whatsoever. His tone was quiet and his eyes told not resentment but reassurance: he tried to move on. You couldn't reproach him for moving out of there and leaving everything behind.

You nodded silently, wanting to ignore how much it hurt you to know that you'd be facing all the things that he had to do to forget you.

"I can sleep on the couch. You can have the bed," he offered before the doors opened for you and slipped to the shiny floor of the hallway.

But before you could answer that you were okay with sleeping on the couch, you went after him. You actually already felt that he had done so much for you by letting you sleep at his place, you didn't want to take his bed as well.

"This way," he showed you to the door. "Use the number pad."

"Oh, this is really fancy," you muttered.

"As if you've never seen something like this before," he rolled his eyes, but a smile of pure endearment lifted to his eyes. "You know my passcode."

"I don't?" you blinked from him to the lock.

Is it...?

"Yes you do," he muttered beside you.

You entered the only number combination you knew he used to have on his phone's passcode lock.

"Why is our anniversary date still your passcode lock?" you asked when you opened the door to his apartment.

It was disconcerting to see him detach himself from all memory of you while still keeping something as significant as the day he asked you to be his girlfriend as his passcode lock, something that remained a part of his daily life.

"I use it for everything still," he admitted as he set down the box on a table and turned on the lights of the living room.

Though that was not necessary, since the wide windows of the living room stood tall and wide, from floor to ceiling, welcoming the faint glow of the city lights that filtered into the room, illuminating dimly.

"Why?" you asked again, standing by the doorway still.

"Well I didn't want to change everything, it was way too much work. And honestly, I suck at remembering stuff," he shrugged and used his hand to motion you over to him. "Come on in. I'll show you to my bedroom."

"I can crash on the couch, Cheol," you insisted, walking into the interior of the apartment after kicking your shoes and placing them beside his.

The apartment had a sophisticated feel to it, with faux marble floors complementing the countertops in the kitchen open to the living room. In the centre of the living room was a plush cream-colored rug. A long couch and armchair surrounded the coffee table.

Seungcheol always had a good taste, but the paintings on the walls and accents here and there made you think that maybe he had help with a few things.

"You are sleeping on the bed," he concluded, grabbing the box again and showed you to a door that led to the master bedroom.

The bedroom also had tall windows, partly covered by blackout drapes. Seungcheol put the box with your stuff on top of a dresser and turned on the bedside lamp.

"Make yourself comfortable. If you need anything let me know," he smiled fondly and left the room to give you your privacy.

Even though it was not a week that you and Seungcheol had sex in his office, you welcomed the very needed space and privacy he was giving you.

You took the liberty of using the shower and even using his towels after forgetting to bring in yours.

A while later you came out of Seungcheol's bedroom, dressed fully in your fuzzy pyjamas and found your ex lounging on the long couch, looking at his phone until he spotted you waking towards him.

He sat up when you stopped just before him and sent a confused look at you.

"I used your towel. Hope that's okay," you sat beside him with a tired sigh.

"You're free to use all my stuff," he muttered softly and wrapped an arm around your shoulders to pull you closer to him.

"Thank you Cheol," you whispered shyly, toying with the casing of your pyjama bottoms.

"Don't worry," he sighed as you placed your head on his shoulder. "I'm happy to help."

That drew a smile on your face. Seungcheol was someone that always made you feel safe, he used to be the person you trusted the most.

You let out a weary sigh through your nose, your eyes going over the nicely decorated apartment. There were no signs that he actually lived there—everything seemed neat, carefully placed, untouched and barely used.

Knowing him, he probably spent more time at his bar than in his home.

"Are you falling asleep?" you heard his low voice ask.

"'m trying to," you turned your head to find his tired eyes.

"You're not sleeping on the couch," he muttered with a pout. "If you fall asleep here I'll just carry you to bed."

The reaction those words caused inside you was of a fiery excitement. You smiled, feeling yourself flush a little.

"Well don't mind me then," you muttered cheekily before pretending to snuggle his shoulder as if it were a pillow and you closed your eyes.

"If that's what you want, just say so," he muttered with a tone of bemusement.

He promptly stood from the couch and snuck his arms underneath your body that was on the couch and carried you bridal style back to his bedroom.

The joy you felt at being treated this way again was not foreign to you. Even when you were his girlfriend, you felt elated at the princess treatment he gave you.

But reliving it also caused you to feel emotional, nostalgic of having him back into your life like this.

"There you go," he muttered as he carefully placed you on the side that you noticed he used on his bed, since the bedside table was the only of the two that was cluttered.

You quickly grabbed his arm as he was standing back from the bed and pulled him in, using the vulnerability of his stance to fully bring him on top of your body.

"What are you—," he chuckled as he stumbled on top, he was stronger than you so his hands stopped him from fully crushing you with his body, placing them strategically on the bed and at your sides.

You sighed in pure adoration at seeing his gummy smile again. Despite the tired look in his eye, he seemed relaxed, almost content as he pressed a knee on the bed to regain balance when he understood what you wanted.

Your hand slid on his nape to drag him into a needy kiss, which Seungcheol responded to in a split second with a groan that was muffled in your mouth, kissing you as fervently.

"I thought you needed time," he groaned, pressing his lips on yours a couple of times before trailing down to the underside of your chin.

"I need you, Cheol," you whimpered as his wet lips reached your throat, placing an open mouthed kiss to make his way to your collarbones.

Seungcheol stopped and turned his head to face you. "What do you need, baby?" he asked with a weary tone.

You knew that it was a tricky situation and that you still needed time to think if you were ready to go back to him fully.

"Can you lie down with me? And hold me?" you asked in a tiny voice.

His smile was warm. "Of course."

Seungcheol cuddled behind you, hugging your body closely to his own.

Moments passed, silence dragged on and you could sense that Seungcheol was wide awake. He snuggled his face on the back of your head, breathing you in.

It almost broke you to think of the times you needed this. When you were alone and far away in a distant country, you ached for his warmth and care. The simple reassurance of his presence was something you longed for so many nights.

You knew he missed you too. Every now and then he would tighten his arms around you, pulling you closer to his body.

"Why are you not sleeping?" he asked after what felt like an eternity, or so you wished for.

"I can't," you admitted with a sigh of defeat.

"You want me to go now?" he started to move his arms from your body.

"No, don't–," you stopped him from breaking his embrace. "Stay."

"You have to get some rest, baby," he urged.

You turned in his arms to face him and curled up against his body, your hands sneaking past his chest and to the sides of his neck, to angle your face to his and kiss him sweetly on his full lips.

He hummed into the kiss, his hands sliding down your back but stopping before your bum. You smiled, not caring that he'd feel that on his lips and decided to press the full front of your body against his.

At that, he broke away from your lips, his eyebrow twitched. "Someone's needy," he muttered before diving into your mouth again, kissing you hungrily.

You chuckled and wrapped a leg over his hips, understanding what you wanted he pushed your back to the bed, positioning himself between your legs as he continued to kiss you.

"Do you want me to help you sleep, baby, is that it?" he asked, darting a curious look to your eyes.

You only nodded eagerly with your head, feeling a blush creeping in your face.

His mouth pressed into a smile. "You haven't changed in that, love."

A fiery rush of emotions invaded you. Maybe you have changed in some aspects, but he always read you so well, better than anyone. In the four years you were lucky enough to be his girlfriend, he made a big commitment to remember every detail about you.

Seungcheol wasted no time and moved his body back and sat on his heels to hook his fingers on your pyjama bottoms and yank them off your legs swiftly.

He sighed in delight, looking down at you.

"What?" you asked, growing timid under his awe-struck gaze.

He shook his head slightly. "I just–," he pushed his blond hair with his hand. "I never even imagined that-"

Seungcheol was practically stuttering and he smiled in defeat when you laughed at his struggle.

"Come here," you extended your arms to him and he leaned his body towards you.

You cupped his face with your hands to kiss his full lips softly, enjoying the fact that he was just as jittery as you were.

His hands slid beneath the fuzzy material of your top, his thumbs rubbing your nipples in small circles as his tongue dragged your lower lip, eliciting a low whimper from you.

"I missed you so much, baby," he whispered as he broke away from you to get rid of your top.

"I missed you too," you replied to him as soon as he returned to press loving kisses on your face.

Your fingers tangled in his long blond hair, and as he pushed away from your face, you saw his glinting eyes, revelling at the sight of you.

The endearment written on his face made your chest hurt. It was clear what he meant to say but wasn't ready to speak the words yet. You tried smiling but resorted to blink slowly at him once as if saying, 'I know, me too.'

Seungcheol flashed you a smile in response, clearly getting the message.

He kissed your lips once before dipping his head to kiss your collarbones, pressing soft kisses over the dark hickeys on your tits as his thumbs played with your nipples for a second time.

You hummed into his mouth, feeling yourself swept away by the tenderness of his kisses. He slid his hands on the sides of your body, caressing your skin and leaving goosebumps in his wake.

When his fingers grabbed the band of your panties, he broke away from your lips. His hands slowly slid your panties down your legs, looking at you fondly as you lifted your feet from the bed and his fingers dragged your panties from your ankles and set them aside.

"You're so beautiful, baby," he murmured with a soft, smallest sigh, almost as if it were escaping from his mouth: "You've always been the prettiest girl I've ever seen."

You smiled, your chest swelling with pure bliss. "Thank you, daddy," you replied with a small voice.

Then he left a trail of wet kisses toward your belly button, kissing your tummy lovingly before using his hands to angle your thighs open for him.

He placed more kisses around your core, in the soft and sensitive area of your thighs, making you whimper and grab his soft hair with one hand when he ran his tongue flatly on your skin, and again, leaving a tingling sensation on your pussy lips.

A shaky whimper spilled from your lips as he darted a hungry look at your eyes before pressing his tongue flatly on your core, licking a stripe up your folds, savouring you, drinking you in with a satisfied groan.

"Cheollie," you mewled with a sigh, already weak in your legs as your jaw went slack, and your back arched up.

You heard him hum in response, his hands pressed your body down by your lower belly, his thumbs caressing your skin while his tongue gave broad strokes on your pussy lips, placing kisses in between licks, teasing you softly.

"I missed you so fucking bad, daddy, you have no idea," you whimpered, your hand grabbing at his hair and the other clinging to the bed covers.

Seungcheol's mouth was pressed so close to your core that you felt his lips move into a smile. He didn't stop at your words to give you a reply, he continued to eat you out, the tip of his tongue sinking into your core, slurping your sweet juices delightfully.

Lewd whimpers and cries flooded the room. You knew he loved the sounds he got out of you, just as Seungcheol knew what to do to get you crying out in pleasure.

He stopped licking and kissing your cunt and concentrated on your clit, pressing his full lips on your clit before pushing the tip of his tongue on it to then move it side to side, darting the swollen bud with a swift pace.

You cried out loudly, wanting more and more your fingers twisted around his long hair, following the movements that his head started to make, slightly up and down as he continued to suck on your clit.

"I'm close, daddy," you gasped. "Fuck! I'm so close, please, please, daddy," propping yourself on your elbows as your legs began to shake, making one of his hands slide down from your lower belly and force your thighs open for him.

The last thing you saw before your eyes screwed shut was Seungcheol's head buried deep between your thighs, his hands holding you down firmly to his bed as your legs trembled on his sides.

Your head dropped back, crying out loudly as your orgasm washed over your body, the sounds you made left your voice raw until you started panting.

"Oh god—oh my fucking god," you whimpered lewdly as you came all over his mouth. "I missed you so, so much, daddy. Daddy!"

Seungcheol groaned in your cunt, teasing you with his mouth as you came down from your high. But he wasn't stopping. You noticed he moved his mouth from your clit, but he resumed giving broad strokes across your folds, savouring your arousal again.

"Daddy, what are you—oh," you started, but then his hands blindly found yours, lacing your fingers with his and then pulling so that your elbows no longer supported your body.

The back of your head hit the pillows and you heard him let out a low and raw groan. You understood that he wasn't done. Because of course he wasn't.

Seungcheol worked his mouth on your cunt to hear you moaning and whimpering again until he hummed in satisfaction against your folds.

Then the tip of his tongue swirled around your clit a few times before it darted side to side swiftly and continued to do so, knowing that would draw your orgasm out of you again.

"Mmm, 'm gonna cum again, daddy," you mewled, your chest rising and falling heavily as you felt your limbs growing numb. "Daddy, 'm almost there, I'maah-"

The grip you had on his hands tightened as his mouth forced a second orgasm from you, making you moan loudly repeatedly calling out his name until you were completely breathless.

Your limbs went limp just as his hands broke free easily from yours to smooth your legs soothingly. He placed one final kiss on your mound and lied his head on your thigh.

"Tired yet, love?" he asked, pressing the side of his face against your upper thigh, using it as a pillow.

"Mmyeah," you hummed. "I could die right now," you sighed weakly.

He smiled fondly. "I think you mean sleep?"

You nodded and added: "After I make you feel good too."

He raised a hand to stop you from moving. "Shh, let me enjoy this," he muttered lazily, nuzzling the side of your face against your thigh.

"But, I want you to feel good too," you frowned.

He blinked sleepily and shook his head that was still on your thigh. "I'm good, baby."

"Really?"

"Really," he whispered with a small smile, looking elated. "I missed this. I missed you," he smiled lazily.

Seungcheol moved on top of your body to capture your lips with his, kissing you sweetly before climbing down the bed, where you lied languidly watching him get rid of his shirt in one movement and throw it to the side.

"I'll be back in five, angel," he told you before he walked into the bathroom, turning on the shower a minute later.

When he returned, you weren't aware if five minutes passed precisely. Since you were fast asleep already, only to feel his hands move you beneath the covers, and then his warm body pressed behind yours, his arms wrapped around you.

Seungcheol held you closely throughout the night, until somewhere in the distance you heard an alarm go off. And you were barely aware of the kiss he left on your cheek before pulling away from you and leaving the bed.

Some hours later you woke up in his large bed, naked and alone. You searched for your phone but then you remembered that it was probably back in the living room.

After finding your clothes which were scattered on the floor around the bed you got dressed and went to search for your phone. You wanted to know what the time was, and if you needed to tend to any texts.

But luckily, it was still fairly early in the morning and you didn't have any messages or emails.

So you busied yourself as best as you could. Starting by changing into casual clothes and after perusing what the wifi password was—which Seungcheol had in a note stuck to the fridge with a magnet, you then grabbed your laptop and browsed for a place to move in.

You were sitting on the stool in the kitchen countertop working on finding an affordable place when Seungcheol returned. You being the first thing he laid eyes upon entering his apartment.

"Hi there," you hummed with a smile.

"G'morning. Brought you breakfast," he lifted a bag with his hand and placed it beside your laptop and promptly placed a kiss on your cheek.

You noticed his hair looked messy and sweaty, and you noticed he had gone to the gym, his compression t-shirt hugged the muscles of his chest, and the grey sweatpants that hung on his waist just right.

You gulped.

"Thank you," you smiled at him as you pushed your laptop aside and inspected the box containing the food he grabbed for you.

"Any luck yet?" he nodded to the screen on your laptop, where your search has stopped cold at the sight of food.

He leaned on the countertop beside you to look closer to the screen.

"Nope," you replied shortly, stuffing your mouth with food eagerly.

He shrugged. "You'll find something," he said reassuringly and when he looked at your cheeks full he smiled fondly.

"I'll be out of your hair soon, don't worry," you muttered, trying to cover your mouth as you were still chewing up your food.

"You can stay here as long as you need, you know that," he brushed off with a small frown on his face.

You nodded. "Thank you, Cheol."

His eyes lingered on your for a second before he muttered reluctantly: "And if you don't find anything that suits your needs, you can stay here, indefinitely."

You had to take a second to understand what he was saying. And your heart skipped a beat.

"I appreciate that, Cheol. But I think I need to find a place of my own," you muttered and looked down to your food.

Seungcheol shot a brief glance your way, his expressive eyes had dimmed. Upon realizing that he had touched on a sore subject that had caused arguments between you in the past, he turned away from the counter and walked out of the open kitchen, distancing himself from you.

"I'm taking a shower. And then we leave," he announced awkwardly.

"O-okay," you nodded. "Thank you for bringing me food."

"Don't mention it," he nodded before turning his back to you and walking off to his bedroom.

This shift was not as heavy as you initially had prepared for.

It was thursday, and instead of it being a night in which you had a live band playing, it was ladies night, a new concept that Mingyu proposed when Midnight Haze announced they'd be going on tour opening for another big rock band.

The concept to say the least was... interesting.

"Hey newb, you'll be behind the bar tonight for a bit," Wonwoo instructed and nodded to the guy that was in deep conversation with Seungcheol on one of the booths before opening hours.

"Oh, right, the newer newb is here," Mingyu said. "And who's going to help the new kid?"

"You," Wonwoo stated, crossing his arms over his chest.

Mingyu's jaw almost dislocated. "Me?" he pointed to his chest. "Why me?"

"Because you've been distracted. I want you to change tasks for tonight," he explained briefly and then looked at you. "You can handle the bar, right?"

Mingyu rolled his eyes with a snort and came out from behind the countertop and got to work, although fuming.

"Yeah, I can," you shrugged.

And also, you had a license. You don't know how Wonwoo even remembered that but you were glad he did. Because you also were in need to take a break from managing the tables.

"Right," Wonwoo clasped his hands together. "Let's get to work, Newb."

You nodded and followed Wonwoo behind the countertop.

The actual newbie's name was Chan. Who was a dark haired guy with an easygoing personality, you learned that he was an aspiring singer, within the first 60 seconds of you talking he mentioned his SoundCloud with great enthusiasm.

But the real reason he was here was because Wonwoo sort of convinced him to work here under the promise of juicy tips. Which, worked to the favor of the new concept of ladies night, something that you'd also learn soon.

The bar was nicely packed around 9PM. And Mingyu's idea seemed to stick, since the tables and barstools were occupied and most of the customers were, in fact, women.

"Holy shit," you said under a breath, watching with keen eye the looks being thrown at the boys tending the table.

And also to you and the man beside you tending the bar, and you felt slightly nervous whenever you caught someone on the countertop looking your way.

"Indeed," Wonwoo responded with a breathy laugh. "I mean, we get this crowd whenever the Haze boys come around, but not like this."

"Looks like the boys are having fun," you pointed with your nose to Mingyu and Chan, who kicked right off with the right foot and worked with a nice synergy.

"Finally," Wonwoo said with a sigh. "Need Mingyu to get out of his own head."

"Breakups are hard," you muttered as you turned to get the new orders from the machine.

Something caught your eye, Seungcheol's blond hair as he flipped it back with one hand as he strolled his tall body in front of the row of booths, inevitably turning the looks of people he passed by.

A sigh escaped your lips. Seungcheol has always had this effect on people. He is alluring, by the way he walked and stood. He commanded himself with a confidence that you have not seen in anyone else you have ever met.

You bit back a smile.

"Hello?" Wonwoo snapped. "Newbie, gimme that," he said with urgency and yanked the order from your hand.

"Sorry," you said, feeling a hot wave wash over your face.

"Seriously?" Wonwoo tutted and shook his head.

"What?" you said as he handed you another order and you got to work.

"At least try not to be obvious," he flashed you a grin and pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose while the other hand was busy pouring a glass of whiskey and coke.

"God, okay," you widened your eyes in annoyance. "You are snoopy."

"And you are sloppy."

You chuckled. "Maybe. But at least I mind my business."

"Shut up," he hissed with a bright smile.

"Yah! You two," Seungcheol pointed towards you and Wonwoo. "Stop bickering."

Seungcheol had made his way to one side of the countertop, that being the side Wonwoo was mostly in charge of. You nodded with your head and it took you a second to notice that Seungcheol was amused by you.

"Like kids, I swear," he said with a click of his tongue.

"It's all her, boss," Wonwoo pointed teasingly at you. "She has her head over the clouds, god knows why."

"Wonwoo!" you shrieked like a little girl and pushed him by the shoulder.

But he obviously didn't budge. The man towered over you, but he only giggled. "See? She's even blushing, had to clean drool off the counter, you shoulda seen boss."

"Fuckin'stopit, Jeon Wonwoo," you hissed at him.

Seungcheol chuckled goofily, making you stop your feeble pleas to Wonwoo, who also looked somewhat stunned by your boss's reaction.

"Stop it you two, alright," he shook his head once before walking off to the kitchen.

"Huh," Wonwoo huffed. "That went well."

"What?" you gasped. "You just embarrassed me in front of him!"

"And it worked," he shrugged with a sly smile on his face.

"Uh... no it didn't—what worked exactly?" you demanded, your cheeks blazing hot that you had to lower your head a bit so that no one saw your embarrassed expression.

"He got shy."

You stopped and looked at him, quirking an eyebrow. "Yeah, sure."

It was weird to have the need to conceal both your excitement and nervousness. Sort of working in your favour because Wonwoo was so sure that you were jittery because you were crushing on your boss, according to him.

You didn't want to imagine what expression would take on his features if he ever knew that you weren't crushing on your boss, but your ex.

The shift ended quietly and you silently thanked the gods because you still felt embarrassed by the exchange between you and Wonwoo. And he appeared to be knowing of that, because you were trying to turn a blind eye towards Seungcheol, who for some reason kept strolling around the bar, helping with minor tasks here and there.

Wonwoo sent you some smug looks when Seungcheol went around the countertop and started helping you with the close up.

After everyone had exited the bar, you stood around your car for a bit, pretending to be busy responding to texts as Chan, Wonwoo and Mingyu had left, and the rest of your coworkers did too.

Seungcheol crossed the small parking lot behind the bar as he got his car keys from the pocket of his jacket, unlocking the doors of his jeep.

You hopped in the passenger seat of Seungcheol's jeep, feeling your heart almost thumping out of your throat when your ex sighed a smile.

"So," he threw a hand over the steering wheel. "You were caught drooling over someone."

"Not you too," you scoffed but laughed at his smug expression.

"No wonder Wonwoo is catching onto something, you might be a bit obvious," he smirked and ignited the car, driving away from the parking lot.

"I only looked at you once," you mumbled sheepishly.

"What were you looking at?" he inquired with a soft tone.

"I might have been looking at your butt," you laughed out of embarrassment.

"In front of everyone?" Seungcheol chuckled.

You hid your face behind the palms of your hands with a groan. "I couldn't help it."

A hand slid on your thigh, his fingers softly digging into the fabric of your jeans.

"Baby, you can't do that while working, the boys might actually start questions and what are you going to say?" he teased and you looked at him through your fingers, he was smirking while darting a few looks at you.

"I mean I wasn't the only one looking," you muttered shyly, your voice sounding tiny. "You look really good in those pants."

He laughed in response. "Is that what you told Wonwoo, baby?"

"No," you replied quickly. "I told him to stop snooping."

"I could tell him the truth, if that makes you feel better," he suggested with a small smile as the car came to a red light.

"What?" you squealed, dropping your hands to see his face illuminated by the soft red glow.

He shrugged. "I trust the boys. They would have no issue with you being my ex girlfriend."

Somehow the last word made your chest tighten.

"Bu-but I thought you didn't want them to know," you blurted.

"That would be the sensible thing to do, if I didn't trust them. But they've been here with me since I started this, I really trust they will understand," he muttered while he rubbed two fingertips over his plump lips.

"Um, okay," you mumbled, completely unsure.

"Only if you want to," he quickly put in when he saw your hesitation.

"I don't know," you sighed and bit back a yawn.

Seungcheol continued driving with his large hand firmly parked in your thigh, making your body tingle in anticipation.

"Jeonghan asked me for your number, forgot to tell you," he mentioned in passing, as if wanting to drive the conversation elsewhere.

"Oh? Did you give it to him?"

"Yeah, I did," he nodded with a frown. "Thought you'd want him to have it. Was that okay?"

"Totally!" you smiled, eager to finally reconnect with your former best friend. "Thank you, Cheol."

A smile reached his eyes and he sighed.

"What?" you asked.

Seungcheol parked and turned the engine of his car off. "Nothing," he said, unbuckling the belt. "It's nice to see you happy, that's all."

"It's been so long. I never thought I'd see him again," you said with a sigh. "I honestly thought he'd hate me..."

You dropped your gaze to your hands.

"Hey," he muttered, turning on his seat to face you. "Don't think that, baby. He has no reason to hate you, even if he did, he wouldn't."

You mustered a smile and looked at his big dark eyes, then his lips.

"Let's go," he muttered, noticing your wandering gaze.

"'kay," you sighed and followed him out of the car and onto the building.

In the elevator, Seungcheol had his hands behind his back, leaning back against the wall as he eyed the ceiling.

You watched him carefully, every detail of him. He way he stood, the way his t-shirt clung on his lean pecs and the wide shoulders that stretched the fabric down to his biceps.

One eyebrow twitched ever so slightly.

"You're staring again," he muttered without looking at you.

"No, I'm not," you mumbled sheepishly, dropping your gaze.

"Your thoughts are loud, baby," he giggled and you lifted your gaze to find him smirking.

"Tell me what I'm thinking, then," you quipped, returning the smirk.

Your heart fluttered rapidly, sinking with the familiarity of playing around like this with your ex.

Seungcheol pushed himself off the wall with a step forward and stood before you, making your knees wobble.

"I could show you," he said with a confident smirk, the eyebrow twitched slightly again.

The doors of the elevator opened, the small bump when the elevator arrived to the second to last floor left you feeling somewhat dazed. Or perhaps was the man standing in front of you, with a smirk plastered on his face when he knew the effect he had on you.

He walked into the long marbled floor hall and you followed him, noticing a slight urgency on his movements when he opened the door for you.

As soon as he closed the door, his hands slid on your waist from behind, stopping you in your tracks and pulled you closer to his body. You gasped slightly, your hands immediately flying to cover his with a jerk.

"Are you going to tell me what's on your mind, love?" he asked with a low tone, his nose bumping with your ear.

You turned to see him, his eyes had darkened, and was now wearing an expression that you knew too well.

When he saw you falter, he slowly turned you on your feet, his hands firmly parked on your waist. "I know that we still have a pending conversation but," he paused, searching your face. "I really need you right now, baby."

A shiver of pure delight ran throughout your body, earning a soft sigh from you.

"Then take me, Cheollie," you breathed, pressing your body against his.

He drove you against the wall, effectively pinning you with his large frame and not a second later he locked your lips with his own, groaning in your mouth with a sigh.

The hands on your waist slowly slid down your ass, grabbing it momentarily before crouching slightly before you and you understood what he wanted and jumped in his arms.

"Good girl," he muttered gruffly, moving his hands firmly on your ass as he carried you in his capable arms to his bedroom.

Seungcheol threw your body on the large comfy covers of the bed, muffling your fall perfectly. You let out a small blissful squeal and focused your eyes on him, feeling so needy already that you might've combust.

Seungcheol stood before you, his darkened eyes roaming all over your fully clothed body impatiently.

"Do you still like it rough, baby?" he asked as he pressed one knee on the bed and crawled on top of you.

"You know I do, daddy," you replied with a honeyed tone.

Seungcheol lowered his elbows, framing your head and pressed his body on top of yours. "Did the guys you fucked treated you the same way I do?"

Your breath hitched and something clicked in your brain instantly. Your eyes read his face frantically, he seemed calm, controlled, just like he always did when he dommed you.

"O-of course not," you whispered, quivering under his darkened gaze. "No one fucks me like you do."

Did he really want to know? He might have assumed that you had other partners when you went away, right? Did he had other partners? Oh fuck, you did not even want to entertain that thought, your heart sank at the mere prospect.

Seungcheol probably did, though. Assuming that he already thinks the same of you.

He smiled playfully, like a cat toying with his food he dipped his head to graze his lips against yours slowly. "Did you think of us when you fucked other people, baby?"

His lips moved to kiss your cheek and you quivered when his hands slid under your shirt, feeling your waist.

Did he think of you? You thought to ask.

"No," you replied sincerely. "But I would when they'd leave and I had to finish alone."

"Mmm," he hummed thoughtfully. "That bad I ruined you, baby?"

"That bad," you nodded. "I tried to convince myself it was good. But it just wasn't the same."

His lips pressed on the shell of your ear before saying: "Of course it wasn't, angel. No one knows you like I do."

You let out a shaky moan when he nipped your earlobe. "No one," you echoed. "Not even close."

You felt him smile on the spot below your ear. "And no one else will, baby."

You let out a pathetic whimper, not even daring to process what his words really implied. "No one," you parroted entrancedly.

Seungcheol groaned softly in your ear and pressed more kisses down the crook of your neck, earning more sweet sounds from your lips, you squirming under him, one hand had made its way on the hard muscles of his back, while the other cupped the back of his head.

"I need you naked, now," he muttered quietly and pulled his body back, kneeling on the bed before you.

Somehow your body silently started synergizing with his, you sat up in the bed just as his hands took the hem of your t-shirt, pulling it over your head with one move and tossing it to the floor. And then you lied back again when his fingers hooked on your jeans after yanking the button and zipper undone.

Lifting your hips for him to yank your jeans down your legs so hard that you heard some seams rip.

He let out a huff with a smirk. "These fucking jeans," he muttered through his teeth. "Can't fucking get you out of my head on a regular basis and then you wear these jeans... fuck baby, it's like you know."

He climbed back on top of you, placing his forearms on each side of your head to kiss you chastely once.

"It's like you know what you do to me," he muttered gruffly. "But you do, you know me better than anyone too."

Your heart lurched at his words, but couldn't help but show him a small smile. "Yeah, I do," you said confidently.

Seungcheol returned the smile. "Yeah, baby?" he whispered on your lips, trapping your lower lip to pull at it softly. "Can you still take me like before?"

Your whole body burned at his question and you nodded with your head slowly. "Ye-yeah I can," you faltered for a second. "I can take it."

"That's my baby," he whispered and swiped a line on your lower lip with the tip of his tongue. "Arch your back for me. I need to see you," he slid a hand beneath you to unclasp your bra and uncovered your breasts for him.

Seungcheol instantly palmed your breasts teasingly rubbing his thumbs over your nipples, making you squirm when he leaned down to wrap his mouth around one of them, sucking lightly and nipping at it with his teeth.

"Fucking perfect," he grunted. "You're the prettiest girl I've ever seen, I swear."

"Daddy," you mewled and grabbed a handful of his soft hair when he decided to pay attention to your other nipple, sucking at it, playing with it and tugging it with his mouth.

"I'm here, love," he replied, darting a look at you. "Daddy's gonna treat you right. Fuck you like you deserve."

You nodded eagerly. "P-please, I need it."

Seungcheol sighed with a smile at your plea, his fingers hooked on the band of your panties, pulling them off to watch the string of arousal that stretched as the fabric separated from your wet core, broke and fell on the covers.

"So fucking wet already," he clicked his tongue.

"All for you, daddy," you sighed, feeling a blush creeping on your cheeks.

"All for me," he echoed, hovering over your body to press a hungry kiss on your lips.

Your hands slid under the white t-shirt to drag it up his body, feeling his muscles tighten and he sighed shakily under your touch, standing upright for you to continue undressing him.

You marvelled at his half-naked body for a second, your hands caressed his shoulders and slid down his chiselled chest and stopped at the belt of his pants.

"You've gotten bulkier," you whispered, darting a look at his eyes.

"Do you like it?" he asked, tilting his head to the side a little.

"Yeah, I do. A lot," you muttered, mustering a smile.

He pinched your chin gently but said nothing more.

"I need you to get up," you mumbled nervously before undoing the button of his pants.

This felt different than the night he fucked in his office. You felt nervous under the pressure of your decision, that and the fact that Seungcheol wanted to have his way with you like before, but that caused another kind of nervousness.

Seungcheol got up from the bed and you followed him, getting him out of his jeans to then bit back a sigh when you saw the huge bulge he store beneath his briefs. You ran a palm over his clothed cock, noticing a small patch of his briefs wet with precum.

A shudder in excitement invaded you when you pushed his briefs down. His cock sprung free and you let out a strangled sigh in pure bliss.

You pushed him with your hands at his sides, earning a soft chuckle from him when he understood what you intended to do. Sitting him down on the edge of his bed and kneeling on the floor between his splayed thighs.

You caressed his supple thighs with a shudder that shook you to your core, almost whimpering pathetically at the sight of him. Naked, hard, leaking and needy.

Seungcheol cupped the side of your face with one hand and your eyes fluttered shut under his warm touch. "Is this what you had in mind, angel?"

"Yeah," you breathed lewdly with a nod to your head. "Can I suck you off, daddy?"

"Fuck, yes," he sighed, the corner of his mouth stretching in a grin as his hand brushed your hair back gently.

You made sure to look in his eyes right before grabbing his girthy cock with your hand, you wanted to see his features dissolve into pleasure as you took him in your mouth. Starting with a broad stroke with your tongue from the base of his cock to its head, tasting the salty precum in his slit and his mouth parted a little, releasing a low guttural moan.

"You don't know how much I missed your mouth, baby," he mumbled faintly.

You pushed your mouth down his cock and hummed around it, swirling your tongue around his pink tip every time you pulled your mouth back.

Seungcheol hissed and his hands started gathering your hair in one tight fist as your mouth started to feel more comfortable on his cock and felt bold enough to take him further, so that his cockhead pushed up your throat.

Your hand stroked what you could not take in your mouth fully, while the other caressed his thigh, making him shudder and swallow a moan in his throat.

"God, baby that feels so good," you sneaked a look towards the man completely trapped under your spell.

You hummed again, making wet sounds with your mouth on is cock loudly to make him shudder. He had his half-lidded eyes trained on you, one hand gathering your hair and the other gripping the covers tightly.

"Fuck, that's it, baby," he whispered. "You're taking me so well," he kept his praise with a low raspy tone.

At that, you picked up the pace, your drool coated hand moving faster on the base of his throbbing cock while you worked your mouth around its head, earning more sweet praises and moans from him.

The overwhelming need to worship his body invaded you. It made your cunt throb and moan around his cock, making slurping sounds as you sucked his big cock and took him further in your mouth.

You gagged a little bit when you tried to push his cock in your throat, and his hand tightened around your hair. "Stop," he instructed.

You pushed your head back and got him out of your mouth, breathing through your nose deeply.

Seungcheol leaned down to kiss your lips chastely, his hand still on your hair. "I want you on all fours," he mumbled in your mouth, but his command was firm.

You complied almost immediately, crawling on all fours to the middle of the large bed. You propped your elbows on the pillows and looked over your shoulder to see him.

Seungcheol pressed one knee on the edge of the mattress, the soft covers dipping around him as he climbed his wholly naked body on the bed. Then you noticed that the curtains of the large windows were drawn still, creating a backdrop behind his frame of the city lights in the middle of the night.

It was not only the sight of his beautiful body that caught your sight. Nor the way that the lights seemed to shimmer behind him. His eyelids were lowered as he looked at your body, you saw his heavy lashes, his full lips.

He leaned his head to one side as one of his hands caressed your skin from the small of your back, down to one of your glutes.

Your tummy fluttered nervously.

"Do you remember our safeword, love?" he asked, pausing for a second.

How could you not remember? You nodded and told him the safeword you established for each other years ago.

Looking at him over your shoulder still, you saw him take one hand to the space between your bodies. A smile appeared on his face when you arched your back for him in anticipation. Then you felt him run the tip of his cock between your pussy lips once, teasing you briefly before easing himself inside you in one go.

But he wasted no time, starting to push his hips against you, giving you no testing or shallow thrusts. His pace was hard and fast, nearly brutal. It had you mewling against the bedcovers instantly, your fingers curling on the pillows for support.

"That's my girl," he gasped each word between his brutal thrusts. "Stretching so nicely for daddy's cock."

You hummed in affirmation and closed your eyes, savouring every inch of his big cock dragging out of your gummy walls and then sinking back in.

"Daddy," you sighed a moan. "Please."

You were not sure why you were begging, or what for. But when Seungcheol picked up the pace a little, slamming his hips against you so hard that your body started to bounce on his bed, you forgot what you wanted to say.

"Fuck, daddy, just like that please," you gasped lewdly, when his cock reached a glorious spot deep inside you, making your mind go blank.

You heard him groan gutturally and looked at him over your shoulder. Seungcheol had thrown his head back a little, his tongue was trapped between his teeth. The hand parked on the small of your back had travelled far up your back a little, while the other held you in place.

"God," he sighed. "You're taking me so well, baby."

"Mm-mmph," you mewled, closing your eyes to lose yourself in the blissful pleasure you got from him hitting that spot with his cock repeatedly.

Seungcheol was practically growling, his raw moans spilling from his lips in a frantic manner as his hips slammed into your ass, making you gasp and moan with every thrust.

"F-fuck, I'm almost there, daddy," you sighed and gulped hard, tasting your sweet release.

His hands gripped you so hard on your hips as he quite literally pummelled you that you knew you'd have bruises on your hips and ass the following day. But he didn't stop, and you internally thanked him.

"You want to come, baby?" he asked, his voice low and raspy.

"Yes please, daddy. I'm so close," you whimpered your eyes brimmed with tears. "Feels so good, so fucking good—"

Hearing you being so needy for your release made him let out a deep groan in pleasure. But he continued with his brutal thrusts on you, his hands firmly grabbing your hips, his fingers digging in your skin so deep you knew you'd have marks in the following morning.

"Come for me baby," he gasped. "Come on daddy's cock," he said in a low guttural tone.

All you could feel was his cock plunging in your clenching walls as your orgasm hit you so hard and good that your ears rung, drowning out your own cries of pleasure.

Then a hand circled your neck, and effortlessly pulled you up so what his hard chest was pressed to your back. Seungcheol's fingers didn't press that hard, but with enough strength to make you gulp abruptly and grab his wrist.

"I love the sounds you make for me," he growled. "You're so fucking good for me."

You whimpered at the sound of his voice so close to your ear, his cock still pumping hard inside you so hard that you could feel your whole body bouncing against his.

"I'm gonna stuff this pretty cunt with my cum. You want that, love?" he asked, gasping softly at your ear.

"Yes, please!" you replied with a whimper, your hand clenching the wrist up your neck. "Fill me up, please. Please, daddy."

A groan left his mouth, sounding so low and guttural that it vibrated on his chest so hard you felt it on your body. His hips slammed against you, his hand tightening in your neck as he came inside you, gasping softly on your shoulder.

Slowly his hand released your neck, his strong muscly arms encircled and pressed your body against him. He held you close to his chest, as he breathed heavily on your neck in a mixture of exhaustion and bliss.

"You're always so good for me," he muttered lazily as he showered you with loving kisses on your neck and shoulder.

You snuggled closer to his warmth, angling your head for more of his kisses and you felt him smile on your cheek.

"Can we cuddle?" you asked when his lips reached your own.

He paused, reading your eyes before nodding with his head. "Whatever you want, baby."

You slowly lied face down on his bed and Seungcheol followed, slumping his naked body beside you.

Then his big arms were wrapped around you, efficiently pulling you on top of his body. You pressed your head on his chest, listening to his heartbeat and the soft hum he released.

Two fingers gingerly took your chin, commanding you to look at him.

"Okay?" he breathed.

You nodded and pressed your lips into a smile. "Okay."

The corner of his mouth stretched slightly in the faintest of smiled. "C'mere," he whispered, reading your eyes before leaning in for a warm, tender kiss.

"Cheol," you breathed in his lips.

"You don't know how much I missed you, baby," he quickly cut in, almost as if he did not want to let the moment be swept away. "So much."

"I missed you too," you echoed with shaky voice. "So, so much."

"Only in my most insane moments I dared to imagine you here with me again," you felt him smile on your lips. "But here you are."

Your heart broke a little, making you close your eyes before you could control yourself. "I'm here, Cheol."

The tip of his nose nudged yours gently before he pressed a soft kiss on your lips. "Don't leave again."

You choked back a sob in his mouth, unable to utter a word.

"Please," he whispered.

"I'm not entirely sure if this is a good idea," you told him sincerely. "I'm a different person now, Cheol. Not the girl you once loved."

It was true. You were far from the girl that Seungcheol loved. Time has a funny way of changing things and it sure as hell did with you.

But he smiled, an endearing glint in his eyes. "I know you've changed, baby," he muttered. "I've changed too. We can get to know each other again."

The idea sounded good. After all Seungcheol was you first love. Your first everything: first (real) kiss, first boyfriend, first sexual partner, first heartbreak. So the prospect of getting to know him all over again after years was exciting.

Something to look forward to.

"I don't think we can go back to what he had," Seungcheol said softly. "And honestly, I don't want to. I want to start over."

"Can we? We can't just turn a blind eye to what we've done for the past few days," you pointed to your naked bodies, alluding to having sex multiple times already.

"Remember when we started dating?" he asked while his fingers brushed your hair from your face. "We moved so fast, we were already having sex within the first month of knowing each other."

You laughed, your cheeks bundled up and forced some tears from your eyes. "I know, I remember. But that's not what I'm saying, Cheol," you playfully pushed his shoulder. "How would this work? You being my boss, and my ex–"

"You're overthinking it," he shook his head once. "We'll take it step by step. I know it's tricky, and it's going to take a lot to figure it out. But I know that I'm ready now."

He was right: you were overthinking everything.

Nothing could ever get you back to what you used to have with Seungcheol. There was no going back to the person you were when you were madly in love with him. Even if you still loved him now, there was a lot you had to rebuild.

His thumb gently brushed away a lonely tear that rolled down your cheek. "What do you say, love?" he whispered so softly that it was barely audible. "Can we start again?"

Seungcheol paused, looking hesitant, but in the brief silence that followed, you understood that no matter what your answer was, one thing was still very evident: you still loved him.

As you nodded with your head, he pulled you into a tender kiss. It was too soft, slow and warm and wet. You melted into the kiss, your whole body shuddered under his touch, making you stifled a sob in his lips.

"Thank you, baby," he whispered in between kisses. "I won't let you down again, I promise—I promise."

✧ a/n: heyyyyoooo (´◡`)

if this has mistakes or continuity errors, please forgive me, i only picked up this draft after i abandoned it since october

thank you for waiting for this part! i really appreciate everyone who engaged with part i and waited for this one. it took me really long to post this because i wasn't feeling it, idk 🥺 pls forgive me

i'll try to update soon!!

if you liked reading this, please let me know? i'd appreciate a comment, reblog, like or an ask! my ask box is always open and i love to know your thoughts on anything pls i'm lonely 🥺

so if any of you guys have read my other fics, you may or may not have noticed that all my fics are connected in one single universe hehe. i might make a masterpost soon. so stay tuned for that and,

✧ PART 3 !!✧

anywhoos, i love you all ⸜(｡˃ ᵕ ˂ )⸝♡

toodles

© RIGHTS RESERVED TO HANNIEWEEN I DO NOT ALLOW TRANSLATIONS, CONTINUATIONS, REIMAGINATIONS OF MY WORKS OR THEIR REPOSTING ON OTHER WEBSITES.

[sinsirellaxx]

In the middle of the night

Theodore Nott x Reader

Warning: Kinda dubcon, smut, Theodor is a perv, step-cest – Theodore walks into your room during the night and ... well, explores.

Thrashing around in his bed, he turned and tossed for the umpteenth time, his long limbs tangled in his cold satin sheets. He hated being back home. Home. That word made him want to scoff, scream, cry or punch a wall – or why not everything? It had not been home ever since his mother had passed. The only thing that did change, however, was you. His beloved new stepsister. You were the reason for his sleepless nights. With your elegant smile and sweet demeanor. He was almost sure that you weren’t as sweet if teased enough.

You had walked into his life months ago, with your sharp heels and beautiful long white milkmaid dress, with your hair tucked behind your ears as you reached out your small hand. When his father had first told him about his marriage, he had been angry. Furious even – how dare his father remarry? How dare he try to fill the void his mother had left. But when he had seen you, he couldn’t help the shudder that went through his body, or the way his stomach clenched. His eyes had briefly lingered on your decolletage beautifully accentuated by the collar of your dress and the gold necklace hanging between your collarbones. He had been taken by surprise, but overwhelmed by his feelings, he had decided to avoid you.

He pressed his face into his pillow, groaning in annoyance as he couldn’t stop thinking about you and that stupid shampoo you used – the shampoo that smelled like heaven to him. The shampoo that dominated all his senses whenever you walked past him, awakening the urge to just stick his nose into the crook of your neck to breathe you in.

Turning onto his back he stared at his ceiling. The thought of you lying in the room across the hall in your pajamas made him grip onto his sheets tightly.

Fuck it. Theodore thought as he kicked the sheets of his body and climbed out of his bed. With his wand in hand he quietly snuck out of his room, taking big steps towards his destination: Your bedroom.

When he was in front of your door, he hesitated for a while, his heart beating like crazy as his head pounded from the nerves – what if you were awake? Pressing his right ear to the closed door he waited.

Nothing.

He slowly pressed the door handle down, relieved that the door was unlocked, before pushing it slightly open – just enough for him to slip inside. When he was finally inside, he waited, willing his heart to calm down, afraid the sound of his erratic heartbeat could wake you. Closing the door as carefully as he could he crept closer to the foot of your bed. His eyes immediately zeroed in on your bare legs wrapped around your blanket as you hugged it to your chest. He feasted on the naked skin, his eyes traveling from your feet up to your thighs until his vision was blocked by the white satin of your pajama shorts.

What a tease.

The color of your sleepwear reminded him of the first time he had met you and the strong urge to taint –to ruin– consumed him. Again. He slowly walked to the right side of your bed, his eyes briefly lingering on your slightly parted lips before moving to your chest that was pressed together from hugging your blanket closer, the action causing your bare breasts to almost slip out from underneath the silky material. Theodore swallowed thickly.

Gripping the wand in his hand tightly, he flicked his wrist slightly, watching as the blanket in-between your arms was pulled away slowly – the movement causing you to frown slightly as you turned to lie on your back.

The brief panic the male had felt when you moved was quickly forgotten when the shirt you were wearing rode up, revealing your waist. Biting his lip, he used his wand to push the fabric up – stopping right underneath the swell of your breasts. His breath hitched, as the blood rushed through his body and into his groin. He suddenly felt so hot.

Theodore could have made your clothes disappear with a simple charm, could prevent you from waking up – but he didn’t. He enjoyed the rush of excitement – the thought of you waking up any moment went straight to his cock.

He loved teasing himself.

With his free hand he softly pushed the straps of your top from your shoulders moving to the middle of the top to move the fabric down, down, down – until your nipples popped out from underneath. His eyes immediately fixated on them. Bending down slightly, careful not to touch, he parted his lips breathing hotly onto your right nipple, watching it stiffen in pure bliss.

He bet you tasted just as sweet as you always acted.

Theodore couldn’t help but wonder what you would do if you were to wake up right in that moment. Would you scream? Maybe cry? Would you invite him into your bed and lure him in like a siren?

Probably the first – he was sure you were untouched.

The thought of being the first made him groan softly, his lips still ghosting over your stiff nipple – his head filled with what-ifs.

He forced himself to straighten his back, his fingers ghosting over your right thigh before stopping right above your clothed heat.

He wanted to touch you. To feel you. To undress you.

He couldn’t go too far but would allow himself a small treat. Pressing his thumb against to where he imagined your clit to be he slowly pulled his finger down along your slit, stopping when you moaned softly. His eyes whipped to your face, breathing a sigh of relief when your face relaxed again. A smirk pulled at the corner of his lips as you parted your legs further.

How naughty.

He applied more pressure onto your slit, his thumb slowly moving up again and drawing small circles. You moaned again.

Making sure you were still asleep he slipped his thumb beneath the fabric from the side, smirking at the wetness he found between your bare lips. He slowly pressed his thumb between your lips again, applying pressure onto the swollen pearl and drawing circles around it. His eyes were focused on your contorted face as he continued caressing your clit, his thumb occasionally slipping down to tease your tight hole, gathering the moisture before moving back to stimulate your clitoris.

Your brows pulled up into a small frown, your mouth falling open slightly as soft sounds passed through your lips. Your thighs started trembling from the pleasure as Theo increased his ministrations, drawing sound after sound from you.

However, he stopped his movements, removing his hands from your body and ducking to hide in the darkness. Quickly casting the Disillusionment Charm to blend in with his surroundings as he listened to you jolt up with a gasp.

“W-What the …” You gasped in shock, “That felt so real.” You mumbled before plopping back down, your hands lazily dragging up to adjust your top, pulling your blanket over you before falling back into a deep slumber.

Theodore smirked as you mumbled to yourself. He had been lucky this time. After your breathing evened out, he quietly tip-toed out of your room making his way to his own.

When he finally laid down in his cold bed, he smirked to himself – he couldn’t wait to face you in the morning. But for now, he had other things to take care of. He lazily pushed his hand into his boxers, his long fingers wrapping around his girth before harshly tugging at his member.

His hand would have to do.

[meowmeowmeowmeow4x]

Supersons +1 prompt answer

If you asked Danny, 12 year old half-ghost hero of Amity Park, how half-life was going, he'd tell you things were mixed.

On the one hand, he had just spent the last three or four months in family/scientist/'this house is a death trap waiting to happen' therapy with Jazz, and by some miracle, it worked. He wasn't sure if this was some kind of dream as his parents poured over years upon years of research, crossing out lines, rewriting equations, and reevaulating everything they thought they knew about ghosts.

Was the shudders family therapy worth not going over how they'd like to dissect him? he's still not sure. The horror.

Not to mention the attention. Danny was sure he was going to throw up if his parents drag him away for more bonding time, only for a ghost to attack and for him to run off to transform. What made it worse was when the Fentons came barrelling out, guns blazing, alternating between getting mad that he'd interrupted their family time, and asking him questions about "Your suspicious spook culture, if you even have one you dangerous delusional delinquent!"

At least they were trying, but Danny was very much comfortable not spilling the beans on the whole half-ghost situation, thank you very much.

And that's why, when Dad proposed to take him to Gotham to show off their latest invention, he jumped at the chance. The home city of the Batman, one of the greatest heroes known to man (except for Martian Manhunter and Superman of course) and Dad promised to take him to Gotham Observatory too. Not to mention how much he wanted to get away from Jazz's smug looks of superiority. Gotham here he comes!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Damian Wayne scowled as he scanned the crowed of scientists with more smarts than sense. Really, a flying toilet seat. For what deviant?

"Maybe they're for people who can fly." Kent piped up beside him. Father had let the two of them run off together, and his company was mildly more appealing than being alone with his thoughts.

"Why would Superman ever need to relieve himself mid-air. I do not believe you would appreciate your father's rear end being on display for all the world to see."

"True." Jon hummed. His voice lowered to a whisper. "You think indecent exposure is what your dad meant by "scoping out any potential future villains?"

Damian gave Jon a flat look. The sooner this convention ended, the better.

The crowded shifted, and the mass of visitors pushed toward a certain corner, where a man large enough to rival Superman's build stood upon a podium, with a boy their age off to the side.

"Ladies and gentlemen, let me introduce to you the latest in FentonWorks' innovations, the Fenton Ghost Zone Radar, soon to revolutionise the study of ghosts!"

"I thought ghosts were a magic thing." Jon said. "You know, stuff Constantine and JLD deal with."

"They are."

"Mixing magic and science is like, like, oil and water. No way this guy's serious, is he?"

"His name is Jack Fenton. That's Daniel Fenton, his son." Damian pointed to the boy in question, looking like he'd seen this scene a hundred times before, but with that knowing glint that promised something deeper. "They're normally spotted alongside Jack's wife, Madeline. Widely regarded as quacks by the larger scientific community for chasing paper-thin theories about ghosts, they've nonetheless gained funding from the government. This is the first time they've left their base of operations in Amity Park for years."

"Woah, you know your stuff, Dami!"

Damian glared at the young Superboy in disguise. "I read the briefing files. Didn't you?"

Kent looked uncomfortable and looked away. "Uhh, maybe?"

"Typical."

"Well, if he's so crazy, then why'd your dad even let him in." Upon another scathing glare, Kent relented. "Oh right, the whole supervillain thing."

"Enough chatter. We'll zero in on the younger Fenton. I intend to squeeze him like a grape, and make Father proud."

"Dami maybe you should be a little nicer-" Only for Damian to march off without him.

Honestly, inane niceties were above someone of his status. Those things were Superboy's job, and if Daniel Fenton wouldn't crack, then Damian was itching to try a new torture technique.

@impyssadobsessions

[polarspaz]

Knowing Too Much AU

While Tim was the first of the Bat-family to learn of their eldritch fate, Cassandra was the unfortunate second.

Despite Tim's best efforts to keep his family in the dark, he was unaware that Cassandra had been secretly keeping a close eye on him. She knew something was bothering him, something so heavy that he was unwilling to let anyone ease his burden.

If she wanted to help him she would have to be sneaky about. Sneaking into his room and reading his research has been surprisingly easy, but what found was anything but.

In the beginning, she had zero inkling on what he was researching. The books and papers he collected were way too advanced for her, but she was stubborn. She wanted to prove to him that she could do this, so she studiously studied. While she didn't quite grasp the depth of what she learning, it still affected her, and she learned her purpose.

Tim has no idea that Cassandra is doing this, despite his Eldritch state of being as Cassandra's main power is that of Concealment. If she doesn't want to be found or suspected, she never will be seen or thought of again until she desires it.

So when she comes to him one day and shows him her Eldritch form, he both utterly horrified and confused. She admits to him that she is afraid, that she's not sure what to do, and Tim is devested. He failed her.

However it is not all doom and gloom. With Cassandra's help, Tim is able to hide crazy stuff from the rest of the family. The two also find solace with their current state of being, and Tim can't help but feel relieved that he is not the only one going through this nightmare.

In fact, Cassandra is handling the whole thing WAY better than him and is already way more proficient and skilled with her powers than he is.

[randoimago]

Can I request headcanons for gn crush fell first but Baldur's Gate 3 Gale, Wyll, Halsin, and Astarion fell harder please?

Fandom: Baldur's Gate 3

Character(s): Astarion, Wyll, Halsin

Note(s): This was a lot of fun to write, hope you enjoy!

Edit: Aug 19th, just told that Gale is missing. I'll add his part when I'm able to. Thank you guys for the likes and reblogs on this post ❤️

Astarion

The signs were easy to see. The look in your eyes, the way you held yourself when you spoke to him. It was almost too easy to speak sweet words back and use your love against you. He's done it many times before, it's a twisted routine he's memorized.

You willingly let him feed from you. You listen to him finally talk about Cazador. You agree to let him have his revenge. It doesn't feel right. Manipulating you for his own gain is what he was after, but it doesn't feel right.

Astarion would never admit he's in love, it's something that he's long abandoned. How could a monster like him fall in love when an even greater monster holds his leash? But it happens and he doesn't know how to feel, what to do. There's guilt with seeing the looks you give him, the way you hold yourself. He doesn't deserve it. As much as his long-dead heart yearns for it, he doesn't know if he can ever deserve it.

Halsin

Not one to give his heart over easily. His body, sure, but not his heart. And yet there is something about you. Perhaps it's him being relieved that his trust was placed wisely with you. But hearing your flirtations has him eagerly replying.

He notices the looks you give him, the eagerness as you speak to him. Halsin can't help being amused and flattered that you are so obviously in love with him. He doesn't quite know what he did to deserve it, but he's not going to push you away. There's some things he needs to do first, promises he needs to fulfill, but afterwards he'll be happy to give you his all.

And when he finally does, he can't help how he feels in return. Halsin is old, he's lived and loved many times in the past. And he is happy to live and love with you for as long as you'll have him. And he hopes you'll have him for however long you both have.

Wyll

Honestly the one to start to have a crush on you first, but he has so much going on that he doesn't want to let himself fall in love. Not when he's a hypocrite and fraud.

But even with the Mizara reveal, even as he's forced into the hells to grow horns, even through all of that, you stay with him. You don't treat him differently, you just check on him, making sure he can still be okay despite it all. And it just makes his heart beat faster.

Doesn't even realize that you've already fallen in love with him as he's falling for you too. Inviting you to dance with him took zero effort, holding you close and looking into your eyes just made him so happy. For a moment, he wonders if he deserves this amount of happiness, but he's had so much taken from him. He'll be selfish and fall in love with you.

[tallulah477]

Birthday Gift

Kinkmas Day 2: Titty Fucking

Pairing: Prince!Human!Neteyam x Maid!Human!Reader

Warnings: AgedUp!Neteyam, Tit fucking, Slight dirty talk, Slight possessive/obsessive behavior and language, Cumming on chest/tits

Word Count: 2.3K

A/N: Dedicated to @tsewtx for creating this fantastic AU. Love you, Wren! Catch up on Royalty AU here!

Summary: (Royalty AU) Prince Neteyam receives a lot of fine gifts for his birthday, but the only thing he really wants is you on your knees and your perfect tits around his cock.

Prince Neteyam always receives many gifts for his birthday.

He is recipient to the finest jewelry, made from precious metals and adorned with a multitude of diamonds, emeralds, and sapphires. Amongst the small mountains of gold and silver crafted pieces, hang other pieces of lavish clothing - soft, silk dress shirts in multiple colors, intricate waistcoats that look like they took a lifetime to create.

A new pair of leather riding boots that would look good on him, but that look amazing on you. 

“C’mon, y/n,” He mumbles, dark eyes glittering with desire as they trace along your standing figure. “Show me the new things I own,”

You stand in front of him, clad only in an unbuttoned emerald green silk shirt that falls halfway down your thighs and the leather boots that hug your legs until just below the knee, the little buckles on the sides clanking with each step you take as you walk uncertainty towards him, giving him a small twirl when he silently moves his pointer finger in a circle. 

He grins at your hesitance. So many years of doing this with him, being his good girl, his whore, the perfect little maid for his majesty - and you’re still so shy, like somehow you’re not 100% positive that he's completely and utterly obsessed with you. 

“You don’t have to be bashful,” He says, leaning forwards so he can rest his forearms on his thighs as he gazes at the expanse of soft skin on display, both between the gap of the shirt hem and boots as well as the tempting sliver of smooth, markable canvas shown between the open button down. “You know you’re the most beautiful woman alive.”

The flush on your face and the way you can’t meet his eyes make his cock even harder in his trousers. The hard length pushes at the tight material, threatening to burst the seams. Neteyam stands, eager to be closer to you, to touch you, and relieve some of the pressure. He crosses the room, tall figure towering over yours as he stares down at you, eyes filled with heat as he grips your jaw in his large hand, possessively. 

“You look so pretty in my clothing,” He murmurs, tilting your head up so your plump lips brush against his. 

“Thank you, your highness,” 

Neteyam’s lips are warm against yours as he kisses you, the soft press of his mouth against yours is enough to make your breathing stutter no matter how many times it’s happened before. His lips slide across your cheek, laying gentle kiss after gentle kiss along the heated skin as he makes his way to your ear. His breath is hot against the curve as he breathes, “Are you going to be a good girl for me and give me my present?”

You nod, voice struggling to manifest when he nibbles on the shell of your ear, and you’re just able to force out a squeaky, “Yes, highness,”

He kisses you again, this time a little harder, a little more needy. His free hand moves to brush the soft material of the shirt to the side, revealing one of your breasts to his hungry gaze and brushing his thumb over your hard nipple, before pulling back and biting his bottom lip with a wicked smirk. 

“Undress me then,”

His long fingers tease along the sensitive skin of your thigh as you work carefully on undoing the clasps of his shirt. Your delicate hands push the material off of his broad shoulders, revealing the toned expanse of his chest and your eyes can’t help the way they zero in on the excited rise and fall of his chest and the muscles that shift under his skin. The necklace around his neck shifts in time with his breaths, the small thin golden band he had made for you years ago threaded through the chain lays next to his heart - exactly where it should be, he tells you, until he’s able to put it on your finger officially. 

The metal glistens in the low light of the room, contrasting beautifully against his dark skin, but your eyes are pulled away from the sight when his hand cups your jaw again.

“Going a bit slow, aren’t we?” He chuckles, lips brushing against yours with each word. “You know it’s not fair to tease the birthday boy.”

His hands grip yours, warm palms dragging your own across the strong muscles of his chest and down the flat planes of his stomach until they reach the waistband of his pants. He keeps one of your hands there, and your fingertips gently caress the skin just above the fabric. He guides your other hand down further until you’re cupping his bulge, feeling the thick hardness in your hand.

“Feel how hard I am for you?” He murmurs, hand tightening around yours to make your fingers curl around him through the taut material. “Need you so much.”

“I’ll take good care of you,” You promise. 

Your hands expertly work at the fastenings on his trousers, his length jumping out and slapping against his belly, long and thick and beautiful in its glory. His cock is familiar to you - intimately familiar in the way that every part of your body knows the shape and size of it by memory. Every ridge, vein, and curve - engraved in your brain and heart.

He prefers to fuck you. Is obsessed with the feeling of your tight heat wrapped around his cock like a warm hug he never wants to be released from. He loves to feel the way your pussy clenches around his length, wants to feel your nails raking across his back as he ruts into you, hear your pretty mewls when he pounds your cervix before he floods your insides with his release.

He wants you on your back, or on your stomach, or on your side - it doesn’t matter. He wants you anyway he can have you, just as long as it’s you with him, crying his name as you cream all over his cock.

And he’ll get that. Soon. But for now, he wants this. 

He kicks his pants off, suddenly impatient as he stares down at you. He pulls you towards him, catching you off guard with the force of his tug as he sits on the chaise at the foot of his bed, and you fall onto his lap with a shocked yelp.

“Teyam!” You gasp, and his nickname falls from your lips without you even catching it. 

“Be a good girl and give me what I want, okay?” He grunts, ripping the silk shirt from your body and leaving you entirely bare to his hungry gaze, save for the boots still hugging your legs. “On your knees. Now.”

You rush to comply - the firm, authoritative timbre of his voice sending shivers down your spine as you slide off of his lap and onto the floor. Neteyam leans back against his bed, the weight of his body supported on his forearms as his upper half lounges against the soft covers. His thighs are spread wide to accommodate your position between them and his cock pulses at the view.

It’s not a new sight, but it’s still his favorite sight.

You on your knees, staring up at him with those eyes, batting your long lashes at him with a combined look of shy maiden and sex vixen that makes him want to slide his hand in your hair and push your face into the ground so he can bury himself inside you from behind until the sounds you're making match the expression on your face. But no - he has a plan. He made you promise to give him whatever he wanted for his birthday, and he wants this.

“Come on, y/n,” He says, and he’s trying to be calm, trying to stay the golden, level headed prince that he should be, but even he can hear the whine in his voice. “Put them on me. Want to feel them,”

His breath feels like it's stuck in his lungs when you kneel up, hands cupping the sides of your chest as you lean closer and closer to his throbbing erection. His shirt and boots are not the only thing he’s put you in tonight. The fine jewelry of intricately made necklaces and rings he’s received throughout the day also adorn your perfect body. Three very expensive necklaces of varying lengths hang from your delicate neck, the regal blue stone on the longest one hanging beautifully just above the valley of your breasts. 

The feel of your tits enveloping his length has him reeling, the soft pillowy mounds molding around his cock like they were made to cradle him between them. Your hands hold your breasts together tightly around him, the rings on your fingers shining in the light are a variety of mixed metals and glittering jewels, and he decides then and there that he never wants to wear them himself. He only ever wants to see the beautiful jewels on you. 

It’s good, so good - the feel of your breasts massaging his heated length. But he needs more. 

“Spit on it,” He groans, and it’s taking all he has to not just fuck up into the tight space. There’s already a wet line along the opening of the valley from his precum and he’s obsessed with the way your wet skin glistens in the low light of the room. “Spit on it, y/n. Get it all wet and slippery so I can fuck them.”

The sound that rips out of his throat when you do is almost a whimper. His cock twitches when you let the glob of saliva fall from your tongue and onto the flushed tip, the spit coating the head and running down the sides and into the warm and newly wet embrace of your breasts. 

You do it again, adding more wetness to the mix to help with the slide as you glide yourself up and down his shaft. Neteyam lets out a punched out moan, hands balling into fists next to him as his head tilts back in pleasure, eyes fluttering closed for just a second before his head snaps back up, intent on not missing a second of the breathtaking image in front of him. 

Your nipples are just peeking out from the cage of your fingers, two hard buds pointed tantalizingly between your pointer and middle fingers and he mourns the fact that he can’t both fuck your tits and suck on your nipples at the same time. His hips kick up, abs flexing as he rocks into the tight space, and the tip of his cock nudges the blue gem of the necklace with each thrust. 

“So good for me,” He moans, reaching out to run his thumb along your bottom lip. He lets out a shuddering breath when your tongue comes out to swipe against the pad of his thumb. “Yeah, do that. Put your tongue to good use,”

Neteyam’s eyes roll back into his head at the first feel of your tongue on his swollen tip. He rocks faster, hips now completely off the chaise as he fucks your tits with vigor, your tongue lolling out to lap against the head every time it reappears back through the cradle of your breasts. 

“Fuck, you’re so perfect,” He grunts. “So perfect for me.” 

The sensation of his cock tapping against the wet muscle is driving him wild, and he can’t help but watch in wicked satisfaction as your own eyes hood in pleasure at the taste of his precum coating your tongue. He knows you, knows you better than anyone else ever will or ever could. He knows that if he were to sink his fingers between your thighs, you would be dripping for him. 

“You were made for me,” He breathes. He can feel his stomach tightening as his orgasm barrels closer and closer. “Made just for me. Mine. My good girl, my whore.”

You hum in agreement, nodding enthusiastically as your responding moan vibrates through your tongue and against his cock. But it’s not enough. He needs the words - needs to hear them confirmed in your sweet, soft voice. 

“Say it,” He demands. His mind is reeling, desperately trying to decide where he wants to cum. He wants to mark you everywhere - wants to cum on your pretty tits, paint them white with his release and watch as it drips down your gorgeous body. He wants to cum on your face, marking your beautiful features as his just so he can have an excuse to take you to the large tub across the room and wash your entire body clean, only to dirty you up again before you’ve even stepped out of it. He wants to lace his fingers in your hair and drag your head down, sheathing his cock in the warm embrace of your throat and mark you from the inside - it would be less messy, and you wouldn’t be able to wash it off afterwards. “Say it, y/n,”

“I’m yours,” You whisper, thighs unconsciously trying to rub together as you desperately try to keep up your pace and the pressure of your chest against his length. “Your whore,”

“F-fuck!” Neteyam whimpers. “Fuck, fuck,”

In the end, he chooses your tits. He stands abruptly, nudging you back slightly so he can stand properly in front of you and finishes himself off, fisting himself furiously as you gaze up at him with those innocent eyes of yours that just make him want to wreck you even more. He cums with a guttural groan, ropes of white shooting from his swollen tip and landing directly on your heaving breasts.

You look stunning - like a beautiful, fucked out goddess brought to Earth just for him to have and cherish. His cock twitches in interest as he continues to stare at you, and your hooded eyes look up at your Prince in awe.

If you thought you were getting any kind of a break, you were wrong.

**Special thanks to @neteyamsyawntu for the prompt!

Taglist: @eywaite @loaksulluyswife @erenjaegerwifee @f-cklife @beautiful-brown-skin-05 @anastasia1777-blog @localjasmine @tsewtx @skywonder @neteyamswillow

[derangedanomaly]

‪‪❤︎‬ AU SANSES HAVING A CRUSH ON YOU ‪❤︎‬

(Classic, Swap, Fell)

CLASSIC:

He would probably push his feelings aside, thinking that it's just some fling of his, until he started to care very deeply for you. Like, highly worried for your well-being. Which was an instant sign for him that this isn't just some fling.

He would play it off cool when the realization hits him though. You wouldn't find out until he would confess to you. He would be acting like he has zero feelings for you, but the moment you turn around...he blushes like crazy and tries to calm himself down. It's really silly from anyone else's perspective though.

He gets really excited whenever anyone mentions your name, it's gotten to the point where he looks like a fanboy of you.

He sometimes rants about you to Grillby. He can go on for hours, talking about you. Grillby's getting real tired of this, he once kicked him out for ranting for so long.

You're sometimes confused about his emotions towards you, he's giving such mixed signals... You asked him about this one time, but all he said, was; "Sorry, gotta get to Grillby's!" And disappears very quickly.

In conclusion, Sans is absolutely enthralled by you, but doesn't let it show.

SWAP:

He's very much aware of his feelings towards you since the start, but values your friendship too much to ruin it.

Since he's the future royal guard, he thinks he wouldn't have time for you if you got together. He's also fully convinced that his feelings are one-sided... :(

After he joined the star sanses, he was even more busy and didn't have as much time for you anymore. He missed you even more because of this outcome.

Don't get it twisted, he was happy to be helping so many people! But he felt so un-happy inside...sure, he was smiling at everyone, being a people-pleaser, but these smiles were very much fake.. he didn't see the purpose of smiling if you weren't the one he's smiling at..

He also felt so guilty that he couldn't tell you about his job as a star sans, feeling awful for lying to you...but one day...it accidentally slipped from his mouth... After your long persuadation, he finally caved in and explained everything to you in great detail, feeling relieved that he finally told you.

In short, Swap loves you, but thinks you don't feel the same way... Give him a hug! >:(

FELL:

When Fell realizes he's got a crush on you, the first thing he does is run away from you. Which was really funny to suddenly see his pupils widen and then him immediately running away.

He feels so weak for that. He believes he could've handled the situation better..oh well.

After that day, Fell was way more nervous around you than normally. He also sweated a ton more...which was kinda... disgusting.

Everyone thinks that Fell would immediately flirt with you, but... When Fell first met you, he would flirt with you just for the fun of it, but after he realizes his feelings towards you...he gets, strangely, shy..? It's actually really cute...from your side. Fell feels weak acting like this. He hates it.

You make him so shy just by your presence that the player sometimes takes advantage of that, to distract him. Just mentioning your name is enough to make his skull flash red.

He literally turned from bad boy persona to simp.

His brother thinks he should already confess to you so he can get rid of his feelings. In his opinion, it makes him weak. Even more weaker than before.

He loves you really, but he just can't admit it.

[thatanimeramenchick]

Yandere Alastor Headcannons

Alastor considers his public persona important. This applies to how you view him, as well as how others would view your relationship. Therefore, he would not want to use direct approaches of intimidation to attain you, rather using more subtle suggestions to worm you into his arms. He would be livid with whoever shatters the illusion he has created for you, which would likely be a caring and attentive friend to lover. This wrath would also be turned on you if you attempted to be spiteful and ruin his public image in some way.

Part of this is that he is quite skilled at verbal manipulation. As a radio host, it should be no surprise that words are his greatest weapon. Whether he uses it to turn you against those in your life and isolate you or convince you to do things that ultimately benefit him, you would have to have an iron will to resist him.

When you inevitably do realize his true nature, he will be able to start being more direct behind closed doors, but even then he would rather not. A gentleman of his time, he prefers not to use aggressive methods with his lover, who he would like to view as dependent, elegant, and delicate. Rivals on the other hand are much less lucky.

On another note, Alastor seems like the kind of person to enjoy the chase just as much as the acquirement of his goal, if not more. Someone who is ultimately less powerful than him and does everything in their power to avoid being in a contract with him or under his thumb, only to be forced to do what he says after a long domino affect of bad happenings, would be the whirlwind “romance” of his dreams and your nightmares.

Along with the gentleman aspect, some more positive things about having Alastor as a partner is that he would willingly perform as the dutiful and romantic lover. There would be dates and gifts, both on a whim and on special holidays. As a gentleman of the 1920's, there is a certain elegance and class in the way he treats you. You're not his "ho" or "bitch."

As an asexual, he has zero interest in performing anything remotely sexual with you. The whole matter is undignified and dirty. As long as you never mention it he won’t either. But he may be willing to “relieve” any tension you have if you nag him enough and if he thinks it will make you more compliant to him. He would prefer to use his magic to do so though rather than do it himself.

[kazzattack]

I Can Be All You Need.

jason todd x fem!reader, poorly proofread (sorry), implied plus sized!reader for like 2 seconds, suggestive for like 2 seconds, mentions of food, regular mall stuff, jason’s a bit of a lover boy (and a foodie) (and a wonder woman fanboy)

a/n — hey! so this is technically my first fluffy fic. short n cute trip to the mall with jay. it’s kinda short but i was excited to share this :) i hope it’s cute and i hope you enjoy, tysm for reading <3

so you dragged jason todd to the mall with you. he’s all grumpy and huffin’ n’ puffin’ but he knows he’d rather be with you than anywhere else without you. he’d go to hell and back for you actually, with or without. jason enjoys keeping you safe, even if there’s no immediate threat. he finds comfort in being your partner for these trips; he likes to think of himself as your bodyguard, even. you’re attached to his arm and he’s right by your side, towering over you, ensuring there’s no room to mistake you as anything other than his- though he prefers to look at himself as yours.

let’s keep it real, you’re definitely there to blow all your money because there’s nothing nicer than dating someone with a connection to bruce wayne. not to be reckless, but it’s a huge weight off your shoulders at the very least. through this you learn that jason’s also not the type to go crazy over buying new stuff. out of habit he easily survives with the same clothes he’s had since his last growth spurt. hence why you’ve forced him to the men’s section of… whatever store you just wandered in to. poor guy doesn’t get much of a say in what gets thrown at him to hold. it is stuff for him, so it only makes sense for him to hold it.

“oh, you’d make these look real good,” you mutter and he arches his brow at you after catching whatever the hell you just tossed at him. “what was that?” he’d feed into your mischief with a grin when you quickly brush off your statement.

once you’re pleased with what you both have, you’re tugging at his leather jacket and point at the dressing rooms. he simply huffs out a laugh, looking at the amount of shit you have. he can’t be too upset over it, though; watching you get dressed is honestly one of his favorite pastimes. it’s abundantly clear, too. he spends the whole time ogling the way your thighs fill out that satin red dress he helped you choose, sports a boyish smirk at the way you fight with a too-small bra, and you’re prying the man off your skin when he grips your hips and kisses at your neck once you try on the one set of lingerie he didn’t catch you grab earlier. a good hour or two later and he begrudgingly walking you out of the store, though he’s relieved he got away with not trying on all the stuff you threw at him.

and despite the demeanor he’s got due to overwhelming height and muscle, jason can’t help the little green twinkle in his eye when you two stop by a shop dedicated to the justice league. he’s not a big nerd or anything, but… a little browse of wonder woman’s merchandise isn’t hurting anyone. he has half a mind to buy poster of batsie, just to dedicate it to throwing darts and knives right at the stupid pointy eared prick for shits and giggles, but the last thing he wants to do is waste money on him when the mug with his favorite’s logo on it is a much better purchase.

for a split second, jason is the cutest. watching your big scary biker boyfriend sport a wide and toothy grin at the idea of waking up to you and a warm cup of coffee, sun shining through streams of steam and making the golden glow of the logo shine even more; the idea makes him all soft, and even though he’s good at hiding it from others, you can all but see the butterflies in his stomach.

“you’ve gotta eat now,” you singsong by his side, tugging him to a map so you can point out where to go. you’re yanked back in the opposite direction, though, with zero effort when he’s simply stopped moving. you’re arm’s hooked around his, pinching at the leather of his jacket. “what-“

“it’s over there,” he states.

“how do you-“

“because i saw it. i’ve got an eye for food, y’know.” right. because he’s your personal bloodhound, practically sniffing out the baked goods before they’re even mentioned. now it’s his turn to drag you around, like the food court is his designated area; he’s telling you about how he’d prefer to make the food himself, even though it’s ‘not that bad.’ they could’ve made the sauce a little better. and christ, he hates when he can tell the stuff’s overcooked, even by a mere few minutes. jason just knows he’d make it better, and you do too. better yet, it’d benefit everyone to hand the recipes over to alfred.

once you two have called alfred, letting him know you’ve had a successful trip, you make your way back to the entrance. you put on a cheery voice as you speak to the old man, all about jason’s good behavior and lack of harm done to anything in the vicinity. you snicker and your man scoffs at you, rolling his eyes.

on the way, though, a jeweler catches jason’s attention- or more so all the pretty jewels. he tells you to go on, he’ll be right out, still eyeballing the jewelry with a stare intense enough to make the seller uneasy. he’s almost reluctant to admit it, but just the sight of the rings on display reminds him of you. it’s got his heart pumping again, face a little tingly, same twinkle in his eyes that you’ve only ever seen a few times. he needs the best band; not the one with the biggest diamond or the shiniest metal- but one that’d speak to you. both of you.

“jason!”

“yeah- coming!”

he needs more time, anyway. more time and real jewelry to choose from, he notes. jason todd feels like he’s waited his whole life for you, and he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get to properly devote himself to you with the best ring he could possibly find. most of all- he’ll be damned if he doesn’t get to be all you’ll ever need, just as you’re all he needs.

[lyneira]

♡ surprise attack! ♡

-> how would the genshin men and obey me guys react when you suddenly hug them from behind?

Is initially worried

Lucifer, Barbatos, Ayato, Zhongli, Cyno, Albedo, Tighnari

You catch them by surprise when they feel your arms wrapped around them all of a sudden. With the way you were holding them so tightly and how you nuzzled your face into their back, they wondered if anything bad had happened to you or whether you were upset and needed comfort.

"Y/n, is something the matter?"

"no...I just wanted to hug you"

They'd let out a relieved chuckle and hold onto your arms wrapped around them, taking one of your hands and pressing a kiss to your palm, appreciative of your affection and glad that you're fine.

Feigns irritation

Satan, Scaramouche, Diluc, Alhaitham, Dainsleif

Their fight or flight mode was activated the moment you embraced them from behind and oh boy were they ready to fight. Though, once they realized that it was you, they eased up.

"Y/n, please", they'd groan. They would try to put up a slightly irritated face, but deep down, they loved it. They loved being held by you, to feel you hold onto them so firmly, full of tenderness and confidence. Your hugs assured them that they were worthy of such love and that, yes, there was someone out there who loved them deeply. You loved them deeply and that meant oh so much.

So really, they just didn't want to admit how much they would melt each time they were in your arms.

Gets flustered

Leviathan, Mammon, Xiao, Gorou, Thoma

They would blush right when they felt your embrace as it would have startled them. Were you trying to give them a heart-attack? Hugging them out of the blue like that.

And if you were to tell them how much you loved them right in their ear, too? Just let them perish already. They can't comprehend how you could be this cute.

If you want to tease them a little, let your hands roam over their torso, pull them in closer towards you, and feel as their body begins to heat up even further. They're glad that you're behind them so they could hide their flustered face from you, hehe

Immediately hugs you back

Diavolo, Belphegor, Asmodeus, Itto, Kazuha, Venti, Childe, Kaveh

They adore that you want to hug them, but they want to hug you too! Will turn around to give you a proper hug and squeeze you tightly, placing multiple kisses on your cheeks while they're at it. If you aren't gonna hold back your affections, then he isn't going to hold back his either! 😌

Would be unfazed

Beelzebub, Solomon, Simeon, Baizhu, Heizou, Kaeya

They wouldn't say a word nor complain. They're very much used to your antics that they would simply let you be. They'll let you cling onto them like a leech while continuing whatever they were doing. Whether it was reading a book, eating, or working on some documents, they'd do it all while you were attached to their back. They weren't going to deny any attention or affection from you even if they were busy.

And if their task ever required them to have you off their back, they'd simply adjust your position while still enabling you to hug them.

But, if you dare to do your best to distract them by leaving kisses up and down their back, then be ready for the events that will follow. They won't hesitate to turn you around and return the favor directly up front 🤭

Bonus:

Ends up giving you a piggyback ride

DIAVOLO, Beelzebub, ITTO

When you suddenly come clinging onto their back, they thought that it could only mean one thing: you wanted a piggyback ride. So they scooped your legs up, held them at their sides, and began to dash around, catching you by surprise. (It would be a fun and pleasant surprise nonetheless)

Now you'd better give them a destination to head towards before they end up getting the both of you lost because they'd be running with zero sense of direction, lost in the fun they're having with you.

a/n: I didn't want to make separate posts for either fandom so I just combined em :D

© 2023 lyneira. PLEASE DO NOT COPY, PLAGIARIZE, OR REPOST MY WRITING ONTO OTHER PLATFORMS

[ko-existing]

the reliance on an AI bot (or on anyone/thing for that matter) seems so counterproductive. a thought appears that says "i don’t understand", you identify with that thought and take it to be true, and then look for ways to resolve that thought because you consider it to be your problem that you now have to deal with. you think you don’t understand, you think you’re not there yet, you think you’re not fully realized and you act accordingly; you go to different sources, asking questions, seeking answers, collecting more useless information. but how do you know you "don’t understand" besides the thought that tells you so?

in reality, there’s nothing to understand because what you are cannot be understood. you can only be that. and you already are it, all the time.

the thought that you do understand, and the thought that you do not, are both equally illusory. the key is to do nothing* about any thought. stand apart from them. leave them alone. you act on the thought "i don’t understand" because you take it to be you, you self-soothe and read more, you think "now i understand" and are relieved momentarily, that thought eventually passes too, and then you’re back to square 1. stuck in a constant loop. thoughts are baseless. meaningless. they appear, then disappear. they are harmless. the only power (reality) they have is that which you give them by taking them to be true. you’re a slave to empty things that you have given authority to. 🫰wake. up. 🫰

there is absolutely zero knowledge to be gained. no more reading to be done, nothing. here and now, you are totally ready. you are at your full potential right this very instant, in every instance. at every moment you are choosing the experience. you are absolutely no-thing right now, dressed up as "this person" in "the world". you have the option to be any person in the world, to go beyond this illusory world to another one for that matter, to be/do/have literally anything… but you keep choosing the same experience out of habit and convincing yourself you’re "stuck" as this. you’ve got so used to what you’re doing that you don’t recognize it anymore, you think it’s forced upon you, that this is the life you were born into, but i promise you it’s all your choosing. investigate it just a little and see.

searching for more and asking more questions is totally useless. you are a dog chasing it’s tail. you can do absolutely nothing to become what you are seeking, because you are already that. act accordingly.

"you need not stop thinking. just cease being interested. it is disinterestedness that liberates. don’t hold on, that is all." —Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj

*in case it’s not obvious, by "do nothing" i do not mean don’t eat/drink/walk/talk etc. you can never do nothing. even the act of doing nothing is doing something. staring at a wall all day is still a doing. continue to tend to your tasks, look after the seeming body, socialize with family and friends — just fix your attitude. don’t get involved. don’t be pulled in any direction by any thought. be like a calm sea, unstirred by whatever happens. know yourself to be beyond it all. when a thought arises, and the impulse comes to act on that thought, study it. inquire about it. peel it back. break down your beliefs. you will soon see how "reality" naturally follows your lead, bends to your will, moulds to fit your ideals, because it is all just you. you have always had total dominion.

Well said, thank you💯🕉️