#adhd makes more sense to me for my traits than autism

[artstar1997]

Blurred Lines

Ever since I watched Trolls Band Together, I had a lot of questions sticking in my brain like gum under the tables or bleachers that can’t be removed. If you ask me, I treat these plotholes like a crime scene investigation or a science experiment in the laboratory. Sorry if there is too much information and scientific facts added to it because I found out that people with ASD like me prefer logic, accuracy, and clarity to guide my judgement because they’re consistent.

With Queen Poppy and Viva, they look semi-identical based on their designs, which makes me see that they’re fraternal or identical twins. Identical twins, are meant to have identical DNA but they differ somewhat in appearance and are not the same in terms of height, physical features, and many more so yeah, that might make sense.

Maybe they were isolated from one another in the troll tree for their safety and Viva remembers Poppy more than her because she would sneak around to be with her. There wasn’t any evidence about who is older and younger but what I know is that Viva wasn’t targeted by Chef, it was Poppy instead. It might be due to Poppy’s status as the heir because I discovered that in a legal system based on primogeniture, which favors the inheritance claims of an eldest child or his or her children over the claims of other relatives, an heir apparent is generally the eldest child, who is entitled to claim the property and titles of his or her parent. While rewatching the first Trolls movie, I noticed that King Peppy, Poppy and the other trolls escaped in the morning of the Last Trollstice so Viva and the others might escaped late at the night when Chef was exiled and there were other Bergens living outside Bergen Town so Viva’s escape might’ve happened at that time. Come to think of it, some trolls are up and running when they hatched out of their eggs like ducks and horse foals (cough* cough* Tiny Diamond) and compared to us humans, troll brains absorb memories and instincts fast or faster like sponges.

Maybe Poppy doesn't remember much about Viva because she kinda looks like she has Autism and ADHD. I read that children with autism have memory challenges that hinder not only their memory for faces but also their ability to remember other kinds of information. That's the same thing I struggled with as well.

I also based this theory on my life experiences because as an eldest child myself, I experienced the things Poppy had been through as I grew older and I am shorter while Viva kinda reminds me of my younger, taller sister.

I also read about sibling psychology and discovered that Poppy has more oldest sibling traits than Viva, who has younger sibling traits. I noticed in the movies and the animated series that Poppy exhibited the traits I listed, but she only has two youngest sibling traits, evidently mischievous and risk taker while Viva has two oldest sibling traits, usually cautious and conscientious. They both share the traits of fun loving and creative so I didn’t add them in my chart.

With the BroZone, it’s obvious to see the details about who is older and younger among them because of the features I noticed. It was evident that John Dory spent his years alone in the wilderness, Spruce established a business and had a family in Vacay Island, and Clay escaped with Viva and the others on the night when Chef was exiled and lived in the abandoned mini golf. Floyd on the other hand, he must’ve wandered around on his own until he was found by Velvet and captured him to fulfill her plan to become a popstar, alongside Veneer.

With Velvet and Veneer, they must’ve ended up that way because the Mount Rageon lifestyle is focused on partying and hedonism that they become victims of neglect and favoritism. Velvet was spoiled rotten by their parents, who were dentists while Veneer was often pushed to the side, causing him to lack willpower and only be a doormat for her when she cooks up schemes. Veneer possibly got Sparkles the goldfish as by the parents to shut him up while they spoil Velvet as if she was a treasure they can cherish and maintain. This had gotten worse possibly if the two experience bullying in school for being talentless.

Whatever my mind was thinking, all I know is that there are blurred lines in there.

[zememerr]

Mini analysis of Amity from an autistic perspective

Amity is a character in the Owl House that I was fairly neutral towards when first watching the show. I quite enjoyed scenes whenever she showed up, but that was mainly because I got to see her dynamic with Luz, who is my favorite character. Being neurodivergent myself (autistic and potentially/undiagnosed ADHD) I suppose I had some tiny worries that Luz dating a supposed neurotypical person could be conflicting in a real-world setting. But, that of course begs the question:

Couldn’t Amity be neurodivergent too?

And to that, I’ll simply say yes, I believe she is. The most popular headcanon on this seems to be her being on the autism spectrum, which I personally headcanon. Autistic Amity as a headcanon sees some backlash, but I mainly attribute that to people preferring to stick to strict canon information. Admittedly, when first hearing of the headcanon myself, I didn’t fully agree with it either, but it’s definitely grown on me a lot.

Amity stands out as an autistic rep for me because of her less appealing traits, from a traditional sense. The cultural perspective on autistic people has seen a sudden shift to this near fetishization of “quirkiness,” where traits like stimming and hyperfixations have been uncomfortably romanticized to some degree. I think a good example of this sort of “quirky autistic” archetype is Marcy Wu from Amphibia; she’s a classic adorkable character who wears her eccentricities proudly, almost seeming too good to be true (which obviously Amphibia leverages later to show us Marcy’s… True Colors.) I by no means think Marcy is a bad character, she’s easily my favorite character from Amphibia and I prefer her to Amity as an autistic rep. Nonetheless, I do appreciate what Amity represents as an autistic character a lot in how she differs from someone like Marcy presentation-wise.

Amity starts off as a bold, arrogant top-student with a rigid academic lifestyle. She’s not great at recognizing other’s emotions or communicating her own. She pushes past all of her inner worries to maintain her classic Little Miss Perfect persona for a time. These are not desirable/romanticizable character traits, but they’re among common autistic symptoms. Given her collected, “conforming” attitude most of the time, most viewers, myself included, wouldn’t suspect Amity is autistic on a first watch. In short, early season 1 Amity represents a masking autistic individual. We see Amity slowly deconstruct the toxic lifestyle her family has forced upon her, and make new connections and start to rebuild a broken one (with Willow.) In her own words from Escaping Expulsion, she’s becoming the person she really wants to be.

The same sentiment is also why trans Amity works so well as a headcanon, but maybe I’ll talk about that another time

Amity’s journey throughout the show is about unmasking her own autistic traits through the support of people like Luz. We get to see her become more sensitive (and I use this word as a compliment,) throughout the course of the show to her own benefit and as a boon to those she cares about. The Owl House is a show about celebrating nonconformity, and I’m glad they allow Amity to push away from her restrictive way of living to become her true self, an autistic girl who trips after getting scared in a library.

A common criticism of Amity’s character is that the Lumity dynamic linearizes her character down to the role of “Luz’s girlfriend” and 180s her entire identity. I do believe the show depicts Amity’s development away from her season 1 self more gradually than some fans give her credit for. The power dynamic between her and Willow has an uncomfortable imbalance to it still, and she’ll occasionally make regretful remarks like “I was top student once,” she’s still changing, at times not the most elegantly, and didn’t spontaneously decide to become a new person for the heck of it. On the topic of her focus on Luz, as someone on the spectrum itself, I do think it’s perfectly reasonable. I’m guilty myself of hyperfixating on romantic interests in the past to the point where they’ll become the entire focus of months of my life, I can’t say I blame Amity for having so much attention on Luz. The show does an amazing job at making their relationship healthy and not surplussing angst for easy story conflict (call me boring but I’m a big fan of unproblematic relationships who actually work through things.) Case in point, I think Amity’s common writing concerns work to her benefit from an autistic perspective, it’s allowed me to enjoy her character a lot more, at least.

One last point before I wrap up, I wanted to bring up one of my favorite lines from Amity and how it gives me major autistic vibes, being from Eclipse Lake:

You know, you were right. We do have a lot in common. I grew up thinking everything was an opportunity to justify… existing! But there are people out there who won't make you feel worthless. You just have to let yourself meet them.

I’m mainly interested in one specific word here: existing. The emphasis on “existing” is important given the general profoundness of the rest of her statement. Amity wanted this message to be super inspirational and meaningful to Hunter, but she gets flustered in the middle of it, she’s worried about Luz after all, and gives a superficial choppy ending to one of her sentences. No “opportunity to justify my parents loving me/being content with who I am etc…” just one word, existing. I appreciate this line because a lot of autistic people, myself included, have incredibly vivid, articulately-crafted dialogues within their heads, and when it comes time to actually say things out loud, it sounds a lot less eloquent to our own dismay. This line for me highlights why I enjoy Amity as an autistic character so much, being flawed in a realistic, relatable way that isn’t traditionally appealing, and that’s ok.

This is the first time I’ve done a Tumblr analysis like this before, let me know what you’ve thought of it, or share it around if it was of interest to you. I have a lot to say about other Owl House characters (and also Marcy,) so I may make extra analyses in the future

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Hey 👋

I’ve been thinking for a while about the potential of me having autism or Asperger’s—

But I’m having the awkward feeling that I’m wrong, and I’m only saying it because I want to be part of it.

stupid, I know.

Im trying not to contradict myself to claim that I have something like this— And k feel like if I do have it, people would be dissatisfied and expect higher things.

…yeah.

Hi there,

It sounds like you are dealing with something called imposter syndrome.

I found an article talking about it.

Why do we have autistic impostor syndrome?

1. We spend our whole lives adapting to what people think we should be. We are human chameleons. In essence, we are empathic metamorphs (a being from an episode entitled The Perfect Mate, from Star Trek: Next Generation), a being that can sense what people around her desire and react accordingly. It is telling that at age 22, I identified heavily with this character. An often misunderstood trait of autism is internal empathic accuracy. This means we make superb social psychologists or are astute in predicting another person’s thoughts and feelings. We are agile in these insights because of our pattern recognition. When we find out we have the traits of autism, we then wonder if this is just another one of our adaptations.

2. We are lateral thinkers. Our superior lateral abilities generate multiple relevant possibilities for any problem. So we hypothesize what we might actually be and come up with many alternatives. Even if autism perfectly describes us, we may still have doubts because some of our behaviors can be attributed to other conditions.

3. Medical professionals do not recognize adult autism, especially late-diagnosed adult autism. Many people I assess describe being turned away by assessors, mocked by health care practitioners when they propose the possibility of autism. There is an acute absence of understanding that our preferred job choices tend to be actors, healthcare workers.

4. Some conditions often co-occur with autism, such as ADHD and alexithymia. This can cause confusion and feelings of being an impostor post-diagnosis since we may not neatly fit the description of autism. Quite possibly, it’s more than just autism that will comprehensively account for our behaviours and feelings. Until we find out what that is, we can still have doubts about our diagnosis.

5. We don’t fit the stereotypes. Sheldon Cooper, Spock, and The Good Doctor are popular TV characters that have greatly influenced the public perception of autism. Yet we often don’t fit these stereotypes. I identified with Deanna Troi, an empath from Star Trek, more than anyone else. Her job was to inform the captain of what other people were feeling and predicting their actions. Research shows that we excel at that. Yet most people will choose Spock—not Deanna Troi—as the most likely autistic on Star Trek.

6. With 90% of funding and websites focusing on autism in children, people do not know our traits. We are not children. People don’t understand how we make it to adulthood without being identified. I can tell you. We act and simulate neurotypical behaviour. We learn from the looks on people’s faces, and we alter our behaviour.

7. Our loved ones tell us that we cannot be autistic. In my journey of processing and understanding, I failed to understand that everyone close to me was also reevaluating their perceptions. They, too, were going back in time and having similar revelations. While we often turn to our loved ones for validation, this is an impossible thing to ask of them. More beneficial is to talk to other autistics or an autistic therapist.

8. Until recently, autistic females without an intellectual disability were often misdiagnosed or overlooked. Irrespective of gender, autistic people without high support needs or who otherwise defy the public or even clinical perception of autism are frequently misdiagnosed. It can obviously create a lot of doubt when medical professionals you assume understand these conditions, tell you that you are something you are not.

The full article will be below:

I hope this helps. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[summery-captain]

AuDHD traits Dirk Gently Displays - S1E5: Very Erectus

- You may follow the google docs file I'm writing everything down in, also! If you haven't read them yet, links to the first four episodes:

S1E1 - Horizons / S1E2 - Lost and Found / S1E3 - Rogue Wall Enthusiasts / S1E4 - Watkin

Click read more to read the analysis of the fifth episode! Tagging: @clockworkcheetah @urlocallesbiab @generalized-incompetence @amber-angel @goatygoat @frenchfriedgiraffe

> In the scene in the dinner, after they start driving to go look for the 'treasure' based on the map, Todd starts insisting that Dirk has a power and he immediately deflects and shuts down, avoiding eye contact completely, looking around. > The second Todd says "It's you. It's something about you", he goes "I'm not psychic, drop it." - of course this enters the parallel of the whole show being about the holistics having their ties to the universe in different ways, but I've had moments where people know I'm autistic and they start insisting on either me being actually "normal" and it being a superpower, trying to single me or sus me out, and I react similarly to Dirk in this scene > "No!! We are having this conversation", discomfort, "Here, let's do an experiment" EXTREME discomfort - sometimes you're just existing and people want a) an explanation of your whole life and b) for you to prove to be what you say you are > "Look, I can't explain it, ok? I learned a long time ago things don't always make sense the way people want them to" - AuDhd to its barest components– > "You're going to have to accept that too. To. Too. To. Too? Two?" - very common to lose a bit of sense of words both in autism (overwhelmed) and plus ADHD having the common comorbidity of dyslexia 

> Trading the Corvette for the beat down jeep, and when Todd goes "???" he says "It's just a rental!" - he makes decisions and when people express concern assumes it's based on something else, even if it doesn't make sense. So he just says it. I usually know for a fact I won't figure out what they're ACTUALLY judging me for - general inaptitude to read between the lines or figure out social situations 

> Martin tells Amanda, about Dirk, "He's got gourmet panic!" - he just like us, he just like us fr 

> "Don't start with the zen master thing, ok? It worked out a lot better before I figured out you were a mess, too" - people tend to assume we're more put together than they are because we showcase emotions differently 

> When Todd says he's gonna give up on digging, he just goes "Wouldn't this be just one more thing you walked away from, though" - not the sincerautistic murder-- Sometimes I also blurt out things and accidentally read people to filth without fully realizing. 

> He puts clues together and recognizes patterns then blurts it out, classic AuDHD style

 > "(...) I think life is like that too, just an endless series of room with puzzles and eventually one of them kills you" / "That's dark and depressing" - my fellow AuDHD ambassador just drops bombs and doesn't even realize 

> "What is it?" / "A thing" - stating the obvious shouldn't be as funny as it is but it never gets old 

> "You brought the cat?" / "Of course I did" - just. Very cute honestly but also, I too make decisions without fully realizing what it would entail, like bringing a kitten around with you while digging shit up 

> Todd starts venting to him and he's like. Confused - but yet again he tries his very best to support him, saying "When I look behind me, I can't see ahead of me" / "Are you saying dwelling on my past is holding me back?" / "No. I mean I literally can't see what's back there when I'm looking forward" - general literal thinking

> "You know what I was thinking about? When I was staring down at the barrel of that gun?" "...bullets?" - literal thinking part 321 electric boogaloo

> “Everything is connected. But only I can see it… I’m not.. Psychic. But I am something” yeah. Autistic-

> “The hunches don’t help me, ever” - we tend to figure stuff out based on our general understanding of them, trying to consciously clock things others don’t have to think twice about, but the same is true in reverse, where things that may seem impossible for neurotypicals to figure out, we see immediately. Although we may know these things, we’re usually not taken seriously enough or don’t have the bandwidth to actually prevent some things from happening to us or around us.

> “I don’t have any friends, I am always surrounded by bizarre and frightening states of disaster, and I am always alone” - sad part hours, but it’s unfortunately true: we’re always overwhelmed, surrounded by input we can’t filter out, and it is extremely hard to make and maintain friends. But Dirk has found his people and so will all of us, eventually!!

> When Todd says “And Dirk? I am your friend.” - immediate hope, bright red eyes, furrowed eyebrows, then IMMEDIATELY he schools his expression out to nonchalant, so yet again his big reactions don’t push people around him away (both true for Dirk and in our general experience, having had to tone yourself down your whole life does NUMBERS on you)

[drdemonprince]

Hey Devon,

I've been thinking a lot lately about the idea of there being a hard line between "autistic" and "not autistic". Do you think that there exists some kind of innate Truth about each person, that they are either autistic or not? I guess I'm referring to the concept of a neurotype, where differences run deep, and are bridged only at a surface level, by masking/compensation. Something which, if we could measure it well enough, would clearly and unfailingly differentiate between autistic and non-autistic people.

The alternative, I suppose, is that there are grey areas, people who are in between. In that case, I struggle to understand what autism is - a category that's defined by society more than by physical reality? In that case, can you be sort-of-autistic or almost-autistic or barely-autistic? I have the sense that this is the more common situation when it comes to psychology, but it doesn't really line up with how we talk about autism.

I already went through all this with gender some years ago, and I got the answers I needed there by slowly transitioning, but I'm not sure if there's a similarly satisfying path to closure when it comes to autism. I mean, I'm both self- and formally-diagnosed anyway, but it does niggle at me. I feel like I'm in that grey area if it exists.

Keen to hear your thoughts!

I think this article about sums up my thoughts!

There is no blood test for Autism, or brain scan, or single gene we can look for, or objective measure that gives a definitive answer. All we have are flawed assessments created by non-Autistic mental health professionals, and the observations and critiques written by Autistic people themselves.

When someone comes to me wondering if they are Autistic, I always have the same advice: read writing by Autistics. Watch videos by Autistic people. Try out resources designed for Autistics, like Ear Defenders, stim toys, and weighted blankets. Join an Autistic community space, whether that’s a virtual meeting, an in-person one, or a social media hub. Explore the possibilities, and focus less on discovering objective “truth,” and more on finding what helps you feel more happy, connected, and whole.

I don’t believe in drawing an arbitrary line in the sand and saying a sufficient number of traits (or intensity of traits) makes someone categorically Autistic, especially considering that many undiagnosed Autistics have been forced to hide their more obvious traits for decades. If you have some Autistic traits but not others, it’s possible you have generalized anxiety, PTSD, OCD, social anxiety, or ADHD. Look into those disorders and their communities too. See if there are resources that are useful to you there. You can be promiscuous — we won’t get jealous. A lot of us have multiple conditions anyway. Or feel at home in multiple mental health communities, if you prefer.

As your question acknowledges, Autism is a spectrum. Or as others have written, a sundae bar with a variety of toppings. If you are somewhere on the spectrum, you’re on the spectrum; you don’t have to be the most intensely Autistic person around to count. Even if you actually have a “sister condition” like ADHD, you might still feel at home among Autistic folks, and if that’s the case, you belong too.

I have said this many times, but people need the reassurance very often: if you feel at home in the community, if you benefit from resources designed by and for Autistic people, if you recognize you share common interests with us and you want to fight alongside us for greater disability justice, you belong in the neurodiverse community. Full stop. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

You can use whatever words for yourself you feel most comfortable with, Anon, or you can just enter neurodiverse community spaces without claiming a label. You don’t owe anyone proof, and you don’t have to be “Autistic enough” to matter and belong here. We are stronger together. We’re a big, diverse rainbow, and you are welcome inside it.

In other words, I think the conclusion is very much the same one we arrive at re: queerness. The real question is never "is this individual person Autistic", it's "are all people harmed by the social mandate that we all be neurotypical" and the answer to that one is always yes. How we personally reconcile that fact wrt our own lives and how we choose to identify is up to us. we can really answer that personal question however we like.

[blood-and-pizza]

maybe worth mentioning since you mentioned how funfred is super neurodivergent coded is that psychosis and schizospectrum disorders have a lot in common with autism!!

👆🏻 small graph i found... you may notice also that psychosis is listed as moreso of a symptom/trait than its own Thing-- bc that's the case!! psychosis is moreso of a smaller part of a larger disorder or mental illness or a temporary thing brought on by stress than its own thing.

graph... 2!!

just sort of based on the very surface-level understanding i have of your funfred i don't Think i read anywhere he experiences hallucinations? but that is not necessarily a dealbreaker!!

hallucinations also don't have to be especially debilitating either-- just speaking from personal experience, i experience near constant auditory hallucinations but it's nothing like, horror movie level shit, my mind basically just repeats sounds back at me constantly forever. examples of that being i'll hear birds tweeting at night or hear a car alarm for like an hour after it goes off; i barely ever have visual hallucinations 🤷🏻 delusions don't necessarily have to be crazy either-- for example my worst one i can never seem to get past is a delusion that i can "jinx" things where if i hope for something to happen if i say it will for sure that's just a fun way to jinx it and make it not happen and all is horrible now GLDMFMDMD

i'm totally rambling in your inbox which is going to bring me to my last point before i go on for a century which is that schizospec disorders and autism/adhd are a common comorbidity-- nearly every person ik on the schizospectrum or who experiences psychosis in some form also has autism 💀 so they tend to come hand in hand; it would make sense for funfred to have signs of both! 🤷🏻

My eyes are sparkling anime-style at this information... FUNFRED AUTISTIC FOR REAL!

I need to read all this over a few more times to fully understand it all, but thank you so much for infodumping! This is super-fascinating stuff!

[arecaceae175]

Autistic LU chain headcannons!

Including some gender and sexuality bc for me those are very tied to my autism. Most of this is rooted in their personalities, but some of this just appeared in my mind and didn't go away XD. Infodump incoming!!! :D

Time

Time uses they/them pronouns bc they literally have no idea what gender is

Has a lot of verbal shutdown episodes. They're able to communicate with sign language most of the time

Almost completely nonverbal as a child (Mask era)

When they do speak it's very monotone

More shutdowns than meltdowns

Time does really prolonged eye contact (to the point of awkward for allistics) bc it's all or nothing for them

Favorite stims: humming, playing ocarina, tapping their chest/collarbone

Lots of verbal stims, so nonverbal episodes and shutdowns can be hard to recover from since they can't do their favorite stims

If given the opportunity, they will only drink milk. No other sustenance.

Must be reminded to eat, can't interpret their bodies' internal cues very well

Very confrontational - will absolutely throw hands at ableists

So incredibly loyal. Once they think you're family, they will never, ever, ever let you go or let anything happen to you

Special interests: cows, masks (as a child, not as prominent anymore), and Time has memorized every single "dad joke" they've ever heard and LOVE telling jokes to break tension or cheer the others up

Asexual, biromantic, sex-positive

Warriors

Highest masking because of his time as a soldier

Hard for allistics to identify as autistic bc he's so good at masking

He has a lot of anxiety surrounding unmasking and showing his autistic traits, so he simply does not

That obviously doesn't work, so during the war he was constantly stressed and had meltdowns or shutdowns very frequently

Zelda and Impa tried to help, but there was so much going on that they couldn't do much

Mask and Wind helped a LOT during the war. Warriors wanted to make sure they were taken care of and could show their autistic traits, so he became a lot more comfortable with his own and created a more accepting environment

SO good at people reading, because he just memorized everything and watched everyone's every move

That gets quite overwhelming and causes shutdowns a lot

Doesn't have verbal shutdown episodes super often, but when he did in the war Proxi would copy his voice and speak for him. He's able to communicate with sign

Scarf is comfort item

The most ritualistic of the whole chain. Wars has very specific routines for most things that he does, and breaking routine is the biggest reason he has meltdowns

His meltdowns are very internalized, and he just likes to be left alone

He is now very confrontational about ableism

Also very very very loyal

He also has a lot of black and white thinking, and a strong sense of justice

Favorite stims: swaying while standing, shifting weight from foot to foot, spinning

When he's really happy he'll bring his arms up and like shake them back and forth in front of himself? Like his hands are flapping/shaking back and forth, but in fists, and his elbows are bent to his hands are almost in front of his face (I can see it in my mind but I'm having trouble explaining it)

Special interests: battle strategizing (could tell you very specific facts about any battle from any point in time that he's studied), loves to sew

Asexual, aromantic, sex-neutral

Wind

He has never once sat still in his entire life

Has never finished anything in a timely manner, ever

Always asks a lot of clarification questions, and he gets confused when allistic people get offended by his questions

Also has ADHD

Little to no voice volume control

That becomes an issue with the Links that are more sound sensitive, so it's something they're all trying to work on finding a compromise for

Favorite stims: rocking, chewing

He has a chewy stim toy that he wears around his neck. Grandma made it for him so he would stop putting things in his mouth

Loves the sensory aspects of being underwater

Always walking on his toes. As a child he was always toe walking, but his Grandma didn't know to correct that, so now Wind physically can't stand flat footed for long periods of time

He has a lot of trouble with routine. The autistic part of him wants the routine, but the ADHD wants spontaneity and usually wins

Has a lot of trouble keeping his things tidy and with personal hygiene (Wars helps with hygiene bc he is excellent at it due to his routines)

He doesn't really have shutdowns, just meltdowns

They involve a lot of loud screaming and self-injurious behavior

Biggest sensory issues: FOOD (bc he wasn't introduced to a lot of different foods and textures on Outset Island), under-stimulation

Special interests: sailing, pirates, also characters from a storybook his Grandma used to read to him and Ayrll every single night (at Wind's insistence)

Hyperverbal

Most likely to infodump

Asexual, aromantic, sex-repulsed

Wild

No gender. What's gender. Genderfluid, changes pronouns based on mood, and usually sticks with one set for long periods of time

Lost the ability to mask when they lost their memories

So they're the easiest for allistics to identify as autistic

Most people in their world don't care, but they have experienced some ableism since they can't mask

Entirely nonverbal. They use the sheikah slate as an AAC device

Cloak is comfort item

Favorite stims: hand flapping and bouncing on their toes

They walk almost exclusively on their toes and always have the dinosaur hands

Even mix of meltdowns and shutdowns

SO so so bad at understanding body language, sarcasm, etc.

They have a lot of trouble existing in a group. Like they'll wander off or do something dangerous and then not really understand why what they did was wrong (BUT they still love the chain of course)

Biggest sensory issues: crowds, lots of voices talking at once

LOVE deep pressure

Special interest: cooking, horses, cataloguing plants in the sheikah slate

Pre-calamity one of their special interests was sheikah tech, so they secretly LOVED going around with Flora researching sheikah tech

Asexual, panromantic, sex-repulsed

(Despite these being my autistic wild headcannons, I use almost none of these in Authenticity lol. Wild's autistic traits in that fic are primarily based on my own)

Legend

Gender?? Who's she?? Genderfluid, similar to Wild, but pronouns change more frequently

Not very good at accommodating themself

They often push themself WAY past their limits and then have long burnout periods

But they've gotta save the world, so it's fine, right? (Answer is no. It is very bad)

Must be reminded to sleep, and they have a lot of issues with sleeping

They often come across as rude to allistics, but that is generally not their intention, they're just bad at (allistic) communication

When they intend to be rude you'll KNOW

They have a really hard time communicating feelings and emotions, which frustrates them a lot and is hard for people trying to help them

This is especially an issue for the chain bc most of the time none of them can "read between the lines" and figure out what Legend is trying to say

Has never once gotten rid of anything because what if they need it? And also it is a part of their stuff and it has it's very specific place, so if it was gone then that place would be empty and then what would they do??????

Everything has a Place and they HATE when people touch or move their stuff

Biggest sensory issues: clothing, textures

Pants are a battle. People have given up.

Pants make Legend's legs THROB and feel like thousands of tiny knives are stabbing their skin. So they simply do not wear pants

Favorite stims: twirling their rings and other jewelry, rubbing good textures, humming (Marin's song)

Harmful stims: hitting things or themself (usually hitting their thighs)

Special interests: magical items, jewelry (jewelry with magical properties are the COOLEST SHIT)

Pansexual, polyamorous

Hyrule

There is no gender here. Gender makes no sense. They/them

They also have ADHD

Love asking questions because they want to understand every single detail of all these new exciting eras

Absolutely can't tell what tone they speak in

Really bad at paying attention to their surroundings

Attention span is practically nonexistent

They often wander off without even meaning to and don't realize until they're completely lost

Sometimes need to be reminded to do self care tasks

Have frequent verbal shutdown episodes that last for a long time. They can communicate with sign, and they also sometimes stick close to Wild and use Wild's AAC slate function

Favorite stim: running their hands through their hair (their hair is almost always dirty bc of this), shaking/twisting their hands

Harmful stim: skin picking

The skin picking is an ISSUE because it sometimes causes blood, and the blood curse is a thing

Biggest sensory issues: crowds and voices and also bright lights

Tendency to freeze and shut down when overwhelmed (this was an issue a lot during their adventures, but not so much now that the chain has their back)

Special interests: biology/anatomy, and there's a series of books they once found in an abandoned town that they LOVE. Books are hard to come by in their era so those are their absolute most prized possession

Asexual, aromantic, sex-repulsed

Sky

Bi-gender, he/she

Comfort items: sailcloth, Loftwing plush toy from Zelda, Master Sword

He carries around the loftwing plush absolutely everywhere he goes. She has a special protected pocket in his bag for when it isn't safe to carry her in his hands. Her name is Brenda (because my favorite stuffed animal friend is named Brenda and I'm in charge XD)

Favorite stims: jumping/bouncing in place, flapping his arms like a loftwing, humming, moving his fingers in the motions of playing his harp

Harmful stims: pulling her hair, hitting his ears when overstimulated

Eye contact???? Absolutely not. She will look everywhere except the person speaking to her

His biggest sensory sensitivity is sound

There was never much going on in Skyloft (other than things he was used to) and it's pretty small, so he got VERY easily overwhelmed on the Surface when he first started his adventure. Fi often had to guide her to a safe spot where he could get through a meltdown or shutdown

She still gets really easily overwhelmed and usually is nonverbal for the first bit of time after a portal shift while he adjusts to his surroundings

He's not great at communicating at all during his verbal shutdown episodes

When she gets overwhelmed she freezes and shuts down. He's more likely to have a meltdown once he's in a safe place

Since he gets overwhelmed so easily, Sky needs a LOT of sleep. More so than the other Links. Sky is banned from taking middle watch

She loves doing tasks that require intricate detail, like woodcarving and embroidery

Special interests: loftwings of course

As a child Sky related much more to her loftwing than he did any people, so his relationship with his loftwing is one of the most important things in her life

Bisexual, polyamorous

Got SO confused when people say he isn't supposed to have more than one partner

Like why??? He likes them both??? The more the merrier???? Makes no sense, does not comprehend

Twilight

Very good at routines. He loves routines. They're so great

Also, similarly, patterns. Twilight can pick out patterns in anything

He gets really irritated when something breaks pattern or is slightly uneven

He loves being on a farm and doing morning routines of feeding the animals

He's always always always related more to animals than people

Animals make sense, people don't

He's still not very good at allistic "social standards," so he's among the easiest for allistics to identify as autistic

Hyper-empathetic

But he doesn’t always know how to help. Wolfie is great for this

He has trouble with the sensory changes that come with shifting to/from his wolf form. Wolves and Hylians have very different sensory experiences, so adjusting between the two takes him a while. Once he's adjusted it's fine, it's just the adjusting itself that's hard

Has verbal shutdown episodes after meltdowns. They don't last super long, and he can usually talk again after a good night's sleep. He can communicate with sign during the episodes

Wolf pelt is comfort item

Favorite stims: touching good textures, rocking, humming

Harmful stims: biting his knuckles

Absolute favorite stim is rubbing his soft wolf pelt on his face, specifically over his mouth and on his upper lip

Special interests: goats, wolves. He knows every. Single. Fact.

Second most likely to infodump

Asexual, biromantic, sex-positive

Four

Too much gender to pick just one. They/them

Comfort item: a little wooden action figure toy thing their grandpa made for them. Four's had it their whole life and never ever goes anywhere without it. It's usually in a special pocket on the inside of their tunic

Most black and white thinker of the group

Four can't grasp or comprehend any nuance or sarcasm or anything in the abstract

They ask SO MANY questions, bc that is their way of understanding the world

They don't really understand most of Time's dad jokes, but they like it when the others laugh

Must be reminded to eat and drink water

Does not like touching other people or being touched by other people

Has more meltdowns than shutdowns

Their little body can't contain all the big feelings and the feelings have to come out somehow

Like Legend they also have a lot of trouble communicating feelings and needs

Biggest sensory issue: sensory symmetry. Everything must be even!!! Also big feelings ^

Favorite stims: they really like the smell of metal, bouncing on toes, spinning, love stim toys

Four never really stops stimming, but they've learned to do it discreetly (bc masking)

They love tinkering, and they love stim toys, so they've made themself a LOT of stim toys. They also love making stim toys for the rest of the chain. (They made a perfectly silent and very discreet one for Wars bc he has the most trouble unmasking)

Harmful stims: head banging

Special interest: tools. Four wants collect every tool in existence, and wants to know exactly what it does. Especially blacksmithing tools, bc Four also really likes blacksmithing

Demisexual, biromantic

Disclaimer: every autistic person has a different way of experiencing the world. I am only one person, so my experience is largely limited to myself. I tried to have links be very diverse in their experiences :)

Feel free to add some of your own autistic or otherwise neurodivergent headcannons!!!!!

[illnessfaker]

Your recent couple reblogs has me wondering something, that maybe you have more perspective on given your own experiences with gender.

Often times I’ll hear bigender, genderfluid, and various flavors of nonbinary people talk as if they are (in a political sense) both man and woman (also sometimes TME and TMA using the same logic)

I get it in terms of self-identification, but in terms of how society treats us, I’m skeptical that the current oppressively gendered system has room for that kind of nuance.

I think it’s just because I’m a trans woman and at the end of the day I get treated as a fag regardless if people see me as a man or woman, so I don’t get the option anyway lol

But I also kinda feel like I’m just rehashing “there are only 2 genders!!” but from a leftist angle, which also sucks

i mean this is like a really tough question that i don't think there's a good answer to because there's not really any difference btwn "being a man/woman" vs. "being a man/woman politically" and by that i mean when you ask what "being a man/woman" means the only good answer to that question i can come up with is "they're labels that indicates one's relationship to patriarchy" but even that answer isn't especially helpful in this situation because 1. that's basically the function of gender identity labels is to describe one's relationship to gender and indicate how they navigate the system whether they're "binary" or not and 2. there is no litmus test for who "counts" as a man or a woman because if you go around and ask people why they identify this way you'll get a hundred different answers even if the people you ask label themselves in the same way because gender identity at the end of the day not only has to do w/ the gendered messaging you are subject to from society (which includes violence) and then how you personally rationalize and respond to it.

the thing is that there are many different avenues of being gendered so i'd say that yeah, someone can be both a man and a woman if they believe their experiences align w/ that, but the reasons for why someone believes that, like i said, are going to widely vary. someone might be legally considered female but be gendered as male in a bunch of other contexts and they might factor that experience in to their gender identity. someone might be legally considered male but be gendered as female or subject to misogyny in a bunch of other contexts and they might factor that experience in to their gender identity. but it's not as if legally being male = you can wield that simple fact to enact gendered violence (which plenty of transfem and other camab trans ppl are aware of, i'm sure) and access the gendered privileges that one might associate with maleness, and it's not as if legally being female = one is entirely excluded from enacting gendered violence or accessing gendered privileges. it's messy. those are two very simplistic examples that include the word "might" because a the end of the day, there aren't any rules that determine who is "actually" what because the series of "tests" that society subjects us to in order to determine that are incoherent, since gender has no essence to it. it's not nuance, its nonsense.

transmisogynists insist that genitalia or assigned sex determines how you're gendered but a cashier once told me that he thought i was a man because i was wearing flannel. the only assumption i can make as to why other people read me as having been camab (i say that because people often either insist i'm a man or they've told me they thought i was transfem at first) is because i have some physical features that society labels as "male" and some of my autism/ADHD traits are ones that society also labels as "male" (e.g. lack of volume control making me very loud.) those are also very simple examples because ofc much more goes into gendered violence than just how random people w/o institutional power perceive you, but the point is that gender's rules are pretty nonsensical based on how people actually apply them. i have a social experience that one could arguably call "both male and female" but that doesn't feel like at all an accurate assessment of what it's like for me whatsoever (enough that it feels like misgendering) - and i certainly don't see myself as "tma." that being said, i think i'm one of those people who can't be neatly sorted into "socially located as female" vs. "socially located as male." i think i'm socially located as a (tme) marginalized gender subject, but that kind of subjective experience isn't the norm.

that doesn't mean there aren't experiences that are typical of womanhood or experiences that are typical of manhood. if there weren't then the whole framework of patriarchy and misogyny wouldn't hold up very well. but the "typical" part is kinda key because acting as if there is some singular, concrete thing that distinguishes the "male experience" from the "female experience" is conceding the point that men and women are essentially different, which is something that reinforces patriarchy rather than deconstructing it, and "men oppress women" is not a singular, concrete thing to me in this instance because the ways in which that tangibly occurs are incredibly varied and complex, with a myriad of factors always being involved, which is a fact that people like MRAs and transmisogynists will try to exploit for the sake of their (trans)misogynistic views.

so it's like, at the end of the day, yeah - binaries are bullshit, but also we need what some might call vague generalizing/binaristic language for the sake of discussing literally anything at all in a way that is comprehensible. the frameworks/concepts of patriarchy and (trans)misogyny don't suddenly fall apart if we acknowledge the ~nuance~ of how gender works and is affected by different factors because the whole point is that these things are deeply embedded, broader sociocultural trends, not that they're absolute rules with zero exceptions in what some discussion about them might sometimes imply. (trans) men being subjected to violence that is defined by or wrapped up in (trans)misogyny or (trans) women circumstantially also wielding (trans)misogyny against other (trans)women doesn't mean that (trans)misogyny shouldn't be about (trans) women.

the issue here, i think, doesn't have to do w/ how someone identifies (that dog won't hunt) so much as how they actually grapple with that complexity and how they use it to relate to others. to use an example from that one post i rb'd earlier, someone labeling themselves as a "transfemmasc gaybilesbian" and then talking about how oppressive and evil and binaristic both assigned sex labels and the label "tme" is, is - in practice - someone who is against any concise language happening irt discussion of transmisogyny, and - in addition - any concise language that would denote whether they're someone who is capable of enacting gendered violence against trans women in the way only non-trans women can. and then it gets 10x worse when you see that same person reblogging posts about how transmisandry real and trans womanhood is not a gender category that sits beneath trans manhood on a hierarchical scale.

if trans women can't use "transfem" to talk about transmisogyny, can't use "camab/cafab," and can't use "tme/tma," then they can't use anything. this usually happens in the case of trans other trans people who are, in fact, tme, and them being tme is part of what enables them to be able to do this in the first place, because it is apparent to anyone who pays attention that trans women and other camab trans people are typically not afforded the same room to treat gender identity like a playground in the way that tme trans people are, when looking at things from the perspective of transmisogyny.

like, at that point, i can only assume you believe yourself to be incapable of gendered violence in any meaningful sense/are dodging any sense of accountability, and are using the obfuscation of difference and meaning of terms to your advantage as someone who does in fact possess privilege in terms of gender, lol. everyone does to some extent when you include factors that significantly affect one's relationship to the gender binary such as race, disability, etc.

[bandtrees]

🛒 tell me about ur themes ollie

I WOULD LOVE TO DO NOTHING MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! fanfic writer emoji ask!

🛒 What are some common things you incorporate in your fics? Themes, feels, scenes, imagery, etc. - im going to speak these words and you're going to think "HIGURASHI FAN", and you will be correct. generally speaking, a theme i am obsessed with, is perception vs reality. being neurodivergent, in my experience, is like being your own unreliable narrator, not even knowing you're unreliable - so it's a topic that's very near and dear to my heart.

in particular, i love getting into the nitty gritty of it: in particular, outside forces shaping how a person thinks, but they're not aware of it. tttaac mob and crowfic ritsu are biggest examples of this, so is tmtrainer eden, you feel protected isaac, and reanimation technician itadori - the feeling of when you're angry and don't know it's because you're hungry, or depressed but don't know it's because of stress you've been carrying for a long time? that there is my bread and butter.

(^it's also the reason i'm so into um... brain damage? just conceptually? i find it fascinating as someone who, albeit in a neurodivergent sense, has a lot of their perception of the world changed by physical nonsense in their noggin (like autism, adhd, anxiety). it's a specific thing to keep returning to, from my transformers fics to tttaac and beyond, but what can i say. i love the intrigue that comes with someone's entire being being shaped by a physical organ and what happens if you poke at that.)

i also, PREDICTABLY, love gory imagery, i think gore is a constant in my writing, whether it's actually happening or is just used as extended metaphor - cuz, and i tell this story often, i got my start with fanfiction (and writing in general) through grimfics and creepypastas, and one of my biggest fandoms ever, the one i have to thank for a lot both creatively and for the reason i even know my qpp and why i'm on this site at all, was warrior cats - where, to a kid, feeling cool and mature reading about death scenes and gore is awesome. so i'll always gravitate towards some manner of blood and guts, its my favorite

speaking of warriors, in my oc fic, spottedfur's pride... i need to learn to use nature imagery other than going off of what season it is, lol, but for characters living in a forest, it checks out. there's so much season imagery in spottedfur's pride. i put maybe a bit too much emphasis in the first arc on half-melted snow and muddy slush at the tail end of winter, but in my defense, i think it makes for cool visuals, and i'm still kind of struggling to write for characters i cant fall back on human traits, concepts, etc, to describe. so for now, have sooo much season imagery lol.

also i've been told my writing style is very "psychological/out of body introspection -> physical sensation -> psychological/out of body introspection -> so on and so forth" - not as a criticism, just something my friend cyn pointed out to me once, and.. i always notice that lol. it's because i think i'm very good at writing overarching thoughts and broad-strokes feelings and how they change over time (i'm a huge character study guy) but i struggle with scene-by-scene action-by-action Plot Progression(tm), so i cheat my way out of it by using paragraphs of internal monologuing as free timeskips. and granted i think i'm good enough at it lol

tysm!!! i love getting to ramble about my process... if you couldnt tell lolol.

[littleblueberryartist]

Genshin Neurodivergent Headcanons!

Note: Most of the hcs I have are ADHD related! I know that there's a lot more to neurodivergency than just ADHD, however as someone with ADHD myself I tend to base hcs off on my own experiences and projections lol so if you were wondering this is why

Anyway on with the hcs!

Venti: ADHD

He is. So full of love. He loves deeply and wholeheartedly and cares so damn much be it romantic or platonic attraction (adhd making your feelings feel so big they'll burst right out of your chest)

I think they used to be a lot more emotional back when they first became a god (he's far from stoic and still super expressive now, but he keeps his true emotions under lock and key)

the NB and the Old Mond Gang taught him to love and care and fight for freedom, but they weren't used to the sheer intensity of human emotion (emotional disregulation go brrrr)

holds strong to his ideals and beliefs

the wind is constantly blowing and venti is constantly moving

tons of dopamine from music fr

Coming up with sick rhymes is really mentally stimulating

fast paced brain + 2.6k years worth of experience is how he comes up with new songs and rhymes so fast

Good with words but can get rambly and a bit long winded (not as long winded as ZL tho)

He would do the stimming hand flaps he absolutely would

wing flap stims in archon form too

vocal stims this guy thrills like a bird and makes wind chime noises

hates the texture of cheese specifically but I don't think he says much about the actual taste?? kinda like me with tuna so sensory sensitivity???? (I love cheese tho)

despite being my most brainrotted character I don't have too much in game evidence for ADHD Venti lol it's all vibes

also he's my comfort character so they're just like me fr (and that includes the they/them pronouns)

Yoimiya: ADHD

Easily excited and feels deeply and wholeheartedly (adhd dials feelings up to 100 and that includes the positive ones)

She talks a lot, runs on sentences and sometimes doesn't even realise that she's doing it, changes topics a ton

talkativeness is a way that adhd can manifest and it's one of the ways it shows up in me

her vibes and how she talks reminded me a lot of myself and I got attached (she's just like me fr)

hyperfixates on fireworks don't @ me

Man I sure am lucky I hyperfixated on my family business and never stopped

the colourful lights of the fireworks are a visual stim for her

vocal stims and echolalia

the latter happens a lot when she's hanging around kids bc I do it with little sister

She runs all over the place and is just generally super active and lively (see: her dashing around in the genshin lantern rite promotional vid)

Albedo: ADHD + Autism

only puts in effort and excels in shit that interests him

hyperfixates on art and alchemy he's my inattentive adhd bestie

absolutely twice exceptional (gifted + neurodivergent)

this entire link: https://www.reddit.com/r/Genshin_Impact/comments/mehjk5/hypothesis_albedo_has_adhd_inattentive_type/

He doesn't exhibit many outwardly hyperactive traits but his mind is constantly going

I've seen the Autistic Albedo hc much more than I've seen the ADHD one and I agree with both. Co-morbid king

He likes Dragonspine bc the snow absorbs sound and helps with overstimulation

Sucrose: ADHD + Anxiety

lost her friends before. I'm a bit luckier in this aspect I think, but a lot of adhd peeps have a hard time making and keeping friends

Past rejections have affected how she views herself and her relationships

RSD from both the anxiety and ADHD god help her

This sense of guilt for bothering people just by talking to them even though she knows logically that that's not how it works (aqua your projection is showing-)

Particularly prone to overstimulation by noise because of her enhanced hearing

ND to ND communication with Albedo (and honestly Timaeus too)

Alchemy hyperfixation. Specifically bioalchemy and sweet flower modifications

either way she's the genshin ver of my biology special interest so I want to be friends

Hutao: ADHD (This hc was absorbed over from a friend bc I don't actually know her lore that well)

Whismy!!! Sillay gal!!!

she pulled a me when she was younger and decided "Oh I'm weird? Well guess what I think it's cool so now I will be cringe and free"

would rather die than be bored (me too)

loves pranking and poking reactions out of ppl

Some ADHD ppl like to start drama for the thrill/stimulation

This entire chunk of her character story 1

A lot of ppl with ADHD study or read better while moving around or standing

Doing handstands can also be her way of making things more interesting or challenging (gamification to get rid of boredom)

She's very whimsy as a character but takes her job as a funeral director very seriously

Man I sure am lucky I hyperfixated on my family business and never stopped

Kazuha: some flavour of nd but also ???

very in tune with the environment and good with slight sounds and smells

adhd brain taking in all the sudden random changes maybe???? nature is his interest so it catches his eye and keeps his focus perhaps???? idk the adhd "hey look at that bug" meme

particular about how his food is made even tho he may not always get that luxury with his life as a wanderer, food/sensory sensitivities?????

yeah not too sure on this one but putting here anyway bc I like him

[stellaeviventem]

Very sorry to come into your ask box with this (you give off a nice welcoming vibe for the whole 🍉 thing) but I look at her toyhouse since you mentioned it and is her depictions of Pastel with adhd, schizophrenia and autism depicted well? Only asking since you seem to know a lot about those things!

idk if i'm bein a little bit dummy brain right now but i THINK i know what you're trying to ask me LMFAO

let me see if i can get it right

i won't be speaking about schizophrenia in a first person point of view, since i am not diagnosed with schizophrenia and i don't show symptoms as far as i am aware. however i am fully diagnosed with adhd since 2010 and am in the process of getting verifiably diagnosed with autism as of 2023 - i have thought i have had autism since about 2020.

schizophrenia

as far as i am aware, the only signs that pastel has 'schizophrenia' is the fact that she has a demon in her head and a little version of her behind a wall in her head. that's not schizophrenia, and is in fact a very gross stereotype and misrepresentation of schizophrenia in and of itself.

looking at this from a story point of view and giving mel the benefit of the doubt, i understand why she made pastel 'schizophrenic'. a false diagnosis like that makes sense considering what pastel was going through with 3. however, she needs to make the distinction somewhere that this is a false diagnosis because pastel's doctors don't know about what's going on with 3 and they don't understand it.

schizophrenia is not just 'haha im hearing voices and hallucinating teehee!!'. it's so SO much more than that. and even doing a surface level amount of research on the topic shows that because THIS is what pops up on google;

2. autism & adhd

as someone who is going to be diagnosed with autism and has been diagnosed with adhd, literally where is it. where's the autism? where's the adhd! the only autistic traits i can get from pastel is her thousand yard stare and even that can be chocked up to her disassociation. mei shows more autism symptoms than pastel by stimming and shit.

she consistently doesn't know what she's talking about with adhd. adhd is not just 'oh someone's hyperactive and good at stuff'! you clearly do NOT understand the amount of fucking turmoil i went through as a child with adhd trying to make it through primary school without making a fool out of myself.

i'm not here to speculate about what mental illnesses mel has, because it's been done to death already. but what i'm trying to say here is that if she truly has everything she claims she does, she should be better at representing it, not giving a singular google-search's worth of traits to her shitty characters just to get mental illness points.

mental illnesses as a whole are a slippery slope, especially if you don't have the mental illness you're portraying and/or don't have friends who have that illness. research is important. and no, a google search and clicking the first result is not enough and it never will be.

what i personally do is pretend like i'm writing an essay on the mental illness i'm portraying. i get at least 3 confirmed resources and most of all, i LISTEN to the people who have been diagnosed with those illnesses. that's what works for me, personally, so it won't work for everyone. but it's better than a shitty google search.

i think i only scratched the surface since there's people much more qualified than me to talk about this, but thank you for asking my opinion on it. i'm glad i've made my platform so welcoming for people unfortunately involved in the whole situation.

[thatadhdmood]

Is it possible for a low supports needs autistic to adapt to have decent enough social skills? Cuz I'm looking into the possibility of me being autistic and a lot of the social deficits symptoms mainly applied when I was a kid, teenager. Some stuff applied even just a few years ago, but working retail has taught me to mask more I think. Basically I have enough of a history of symptoms to fit all the diagnostic criteria that I can tell, but I'm not sure more than a few of the social stuff fits currently. I still have sensory issues, a history of special interests, and stim a ton, but to my understanding those can also come with ADHD.

You should look into high masking autism because masking is what happens when an autistic adapts. Retail makes sense as thats a high stress place where you can be forced to learn a formula for social interaction and masking in order to keep your job.

Most autistics if undiagnosed by the time they reach adulthood will have learned masking techniques which help them blend in making them even harder to diagnose in adulthood.

This is why interviewing people who were close to you growing up is important in order to get an outsiders view of your social skills when you were growing up.

Half of this venn diagram has high masking autism traits on it.

And this paragraph from the dsm explains how masking appears in autistics.

those r some resources i have just off the top of my head

I cannot say whether you have autism but i hope this helps

[ddwcaph-game]

Four New Traits!

Update: I've received some feedback and decided to reconsider adding the new traits. Check out this post for more information!

I'm not completely sure yet how these traits will work, but since this'll probably be the last ones I'll add in Volume 1, I've decided to add them in the next update and get some feedback sooner rather than later. They are:

💫 [Easily Distractable]

⚡ [Hyperactive!]

😳 [Socially Awkward]

🎒 [Super Organized]

A couple of years ago, someone pointed out to me that some of the MC's choices/thoughts have elements of anxiety/autism/ADHD and asked if this was the case. This was mostly unintentional on my part, and since it's an unfamiliar and sensitive subject, I thought it'd be best to not have an explicit choice for it, but fine if people wanted to headcanon it.

I wanted to give it a shot just like I did with the gender stuff (which was enlightening for both me and my characters), especially because having a young MC gives me a unique point of view to explore them. So I thought about it some more, and I think I found a way to make it work without adding a lot of extra workload.

I know that it's a spectrum and there's no strict definition or a single correct way of presenting them, so instead I separated it into different traits that doesn't directly state that the MC is neurodivergent. Writing in first person makes it hard to account for in every variation in every choice, so I'm keeping it somewhat vague and hopefully this gives the flexibility that MC may be either undiagnosed, or just has those traits.

This is a bit long, so I'll go a little bit into detail how I plan to implement the traits below:

⚡ [Hyperactive!]: (+20% Silly, Doubles [Well-Rested] Stat Bonuses)

You can select this trait at the beginning of Chapter 1, where you choose how to react to the bell ringing. The choice is:

Finally! Sitting inside the classroom for hours is torture. Some people say I'm hyperactive—but I don't understand how some people can just sit around all day.

This will probably restrict most passive choices where you decide not to do anything, and add new flavor text when the MC isn't doing much.

💫 [Easily Distractable]: (+10% Bonus EXP, -10% Knowledge)

You can select this trait when looking at the Top 10 Students list while cleaning the classroom. The choice is:

It'd be nice to see my name up there with Wayne sometime. Understanding the lessons isn't that hard, but focusing on exams, assignments, studying—that's what's really hard. Wayne also struggles with not getting distracted, but he always knows how to keep me engaged when there's something more interesting than what we're studying.

This is a permanent version of the [Needs Improvement] Passive, with Wayne being MC's study buddy instead of JM. I hope the comparison with Wayne here is okay—I want to frame it in a positive light but I'm not sure if this is the best way. (The text after the choice mentions that if Wayne can do it, then MC can do it as well.)

In addition, the trait will also provide some unique flavor text and variations in certain scenes (especially long conversations).

😳 [Socially Awkward]: (+30% Introvert, +30% Reserved)

You can select this trait during Roselyna's introduction after she first hugs you. The choice is:

I stutter. What if I say something wrong? What if I misunderstood what she's saying—or she misunderstands me? Am I overthinking again? I don't wanna repeat myself over and over trying to explain.

MC's mostly comfortable around their friends, so I imagine this will mostly manifest in emotional scenes, when you meet a new person, when you discover a secret, interacting with B, or when MC has the choice of not being sure what to say (excluding their twin), and automatically default to that choice (with slightly different dialogue) if it makes sense. It would be exhausting to read if this affected every conversation.

🎒 [Super Organized]

You can select this trait along with the other organizational traits when packing your bag in Chapter 1. The choice is:

...and meticulously arrange my belongings/stuff by proper label and color. My bag is super organized, and it helps me focus this way.

Not much to say here, it's just a slightly different version of the [Organized] Trait.

***

This is very much new to me, so please let me know your thoughts, or if you have any concerns with the trait names, the wording of the choices, or something else. I'm not entirely sure I'm making sense here either. 😅

Anyway, I hope the start of the new year is treating you all nicely!

[fern717]

i know the person who made the above post had good intentions, but the statement they are making here is a harmful one and i want to talk about why that is.

first of all, “neurodivergent” describes anyone who’s brain develops differently from what is considered the norm. this includes not only autistic people and people with adhd, but people with ocd, dyslexia, dyscalculia, dyspraxia, and other conditions. the things that are being called “superpowers” in the above tweet are typically brought up when discussing specifically autism and adhd. using the term “neurodivergency” here reinforces the idea that autism and adhd is all that neurodivergence is. 

now, onto the part that caused me the most irritation: describing traits shown in autistic people and people with adhd as “superpowers.”

earlier today i was in pain because my mom was putting the plates away and the sounds they were making when they touched each other hurt. i can get so overwhelmed in loud places or around large groups of people that i struggle to speak. when i focus too much on the textures of certain foods, i feel sickish. those things are not superpowers. they are all simply things that i have to deal with because i am more sensitive to sensory inputs because of the way my brain is wired.

my sensitivity to sensory inputs also has benefits. i appreciate comfy blankets and nice smells more because i can feel them with more intensity than others. since my senses are heightened, not only is my discomfort from certain sensory inputs heightened, but my appreciation and enjoyment from others is as well!

my deep focus on my interests (among other social difficulties) led to me being a target for bullying for a large portion of my time at school. people found me annoying because i was so enthusiastic about the things i loved, so they would pretend to want to be my friend or to be interested in the things i liked as a joke to amuse their real friends. it was funny to them because they found the idea of someone actually wanting to talk to or spend time with me to be ridiculous. eventually, i began to agree with them. even now, there are times when i still struggle to understand why anyone would want to spend time engaging with me. my self esteem is incredibly low. eventually i learned to not express enthusiasm about or excitement for things that i liked while at school.

my deep focus on my interests also has benefits. when i get really into a piece of media, i often create characters based around it, which helps foster my creativity. my parents often ask me questions about pokémon when they’re playing pokémon go because i was really into pokémon when i was younger and, as such, know a lot about the characters and rules and am able to help them with the game. if it wasn’t for the intense interest i had in homestuck back in 2019, i wouldn’t have met my best friend of four (going on five) years! my intense interest in certain topics has had some negatives consequences, but it has had many positive ones as well.

it’s irritating and hurtful to see people treat autistic people and people with adhd like we’re going through such tragedy because of the struggles that we face due to the way we function. however, putting us on a pedestal and acting as if we’re so impressive and strong due to the benefits our neurodivergence gives us just puts unfair expectations on us and minimizes the difficulties we face. everyone has strengths and difficulties, but when the person who has them is neurodivergent, it seems that neurotypical people don’t know how to acknowledge them in a manner that isn’t over-the-top in one way or another. that gets really tiring. 

[dreamlandcreations]

Burnout recovery (?)

It took me a while to figure out why I was so down all the time. But I didn't take the "good news" that well tbh. Because:

"It takes an average time of three months to a year to recover from burnout. "

And I was like. NOPE. FUCK. THAT!

Well, the first few days after that were even worse because I kept pressuring myself to do something, anything other than lying in bed and staring at the ceiling. But even something as so no energy "task" as listening to music was making me... idk how else to say it other than itchy...

Anyway, eventually I just gave up, let it consume me and slept away like 2 days... AND GUESS WHAT? I felt a tiny bit better.

So I'd say the first step is just LET IT ALL FUCKING GO! Turn the nagging in your head off and stop caring about anything else than getting a good rest!

My work drove me insane for the last 3 years or so and tbh it took over my life far, far sooner than that. It wasn't healthy. Letting that go took like 2-3 weeks ( I had "help" from other tortured colleagues 🫶 talking helps!) and a lots of Youtube shorts about "this is business not personal". Yay to scrolling paralysis.

Yeah, and about that. I realised that with the burnout I really burned all the bridges that kept my autistic/adhd traits in check. I mean, I used to have a good balance, now I'm off the scale with both in the worst way.

I think the second step is just trying to stay in that kind of relaxed, "don't care" space while figuring out the reasons why I felt so terrible. Again, Youtube shorts about autism/adhd and work mentality really helped. It was like talking to someone without actually getting myself together enough to open up about this to a "real person" (it never would have happened, you know).

And this is the part from where this might not help anyone who doesn't have adhd (and autism?) but realising that I've become a shell of adhd behaviour was actually a big step. Especially with the adhd/autism traits comparison vids bc I just understood how I was functioning when I was doing all that stuff at once.

The next step(s) I took was trying to take care of myself. Eat, sleep, wash, clean up to feel better in my skin and in my environment. I made it a challenge (chasing dopamine seems to be the only way adhd brain can do stuff). Like I'll put on this song ( I wasn't really listening to it still) and do .... until it's done. It did not help at first. Just getting into a task without thought doesn't work for me. I needed to take a minute and visualise that I'm going to do this and this and this and I'll be done in 3 minutes. I prepared for the task mentally, I hyped myself up then I did it. And it worked. Then I got too much into it and overworked myself 😅

However cliché it sounds, the key is finding balance.

Now I can listen to music, I've read 14 books this year so far and reading 5 others now, and I'm planning my year and thinking about what I want to do in life.

I still have bad moments/days and that's okay. I am still not okay but I'm getting there.

I figured, I need to occupy (not overwhelm!!!) my senses to stop my mind from wandering (and torturing me) so now when I have to do something like dishes, I just put on an audiobook and try to let everything else go.

I still can't watch movies/shows. Which sucks bc I feel like I need visual stimulation too sometimes so idk what's up with that but it's a no for now.

Writing is still a NO! (that's a screaming no in my head). But I started to write down ideas again (something I didn't really do for months)

What I know would improve my health and most likely my mental state is regular exercise, but I'm not there yet. I still regularly skip/forget to eat more than once a day so that's a priority.

It's also difficult to leave the house tbh. The outside world is overwhelming and I don't go out if I don't have to (which is like once a week now).

What I do know is that if you want to do something DO NOT SIT DOWN! You'll never get it done. There's no "in a minute" or tomorrow. If you want it done, do it now.

I'm working on building a structure/routine in my daily schedule that gives me a guide so I wouldn't waste my days but doesn't limit or outright strangle me with too many limitations by being to crowded.

[aspd-culture]

How can you tell the difference between adhd + autism and aspd?

Plus, I also have NPD so that makes it even harder to know if it’s just a combination of the three vs also being ASPD…cause I feel like I show a bunch of signs/traits for it but I’m like, what if that’s just the three that appear as aspd? I’ve been researching a lot but that still keeps me from fully investing myself in it.

I used to steal a BUNCH in elementary to middle school, I had a lot of emotional outbursts and aggression starting in kindergarten to elementary, which I don’t think could have been autism (as in meltdowns) because it was usually in relation to someone doing something to me/making me angry and just generally not having a good childhood.

Even when I was a teenager and kid I used to lie a bunch, it was a huge problem with me and my dad got pissed off a lot because I just lied constantly to either get out of doing things or because I did something I wasn’t supposed to, plus I also lied as a teenager to people online and basically used people, one situation with lying was particularly bad that I’ve never told literally anyone about because it was a huge lie that lasted for months but…yeah.💀

And the thing that makes me think particularly that this could be aspd that influenced this…is that I don’t really feel bad for any of it? It’s just things that happened. I mean my npd sorta makes me proud of it in a weird way, which I know is not exactly…acceptable, but that’s just npd making me think doing bad shit is cool, because I don’t really care about ‘right or wrong’ in relation to myself.

Anyways, I would appreciate your opinion as you have aspd and it helps me a lot to contextualize the shit I experience.

I'll be real, the reason I can tell the difference between some of my disorders enough to know which symptom is flaring from what is mostly by... vibe I guess? It feels different. It's hard to explain, but ASPD flares feel much, much different than autism symptoms, though I can rarely if ever tell the difference between ADHD and ASPD except the hyperactivity bit.

The DSM-V actually has a whole section dedicated to how ASPD and NPD present when comorbid (as well as some other disorders that can be comorbid, I believe), so that would probably explain it infinitely better than I could being that I don't have NPD afaik.

The aggression symptom you described sounds to me like it is more likely to be associated with ADHD via impulsivity or autism via sense of justice just as easily as it could be ASPD aggression in my opinion being that there was a defined reason for it. ASPD aggression is often disproportionate and/or misaimed. I, for an anecdotal example, did not ever act out towards probably 90% of my aggressors and abusers. Instead I took that frustration and aggression and bottled it up until it accidentally came out at people close to me who I liked. As a child, I was known to yell and scream at adults randomly for literally no reason and go around the room saying the single most hurtful thing I could think of to each and every adult there, and found myself horrified at the idea of doing something as uncomfortable/outright gross feeling as apologizing even though I knew I didn't mean to say/do those things. The only time my abusers received that treatment before I was a teenager was if they happened to be in the room of adults I was screaming at.

So whilst I am definitely not saying pwASPD don't lash out at the people doing something wrong to them, I will say that behavior is equally likely to be ASPD, ADHD, or autism.

The lying and stealing you described both are textbook ASPD, especially if you didn't feel bad for it or possibly even were proud of yourself for it. Believe it or not, it's pretty common to feel that pride in these actions even without NPD. ASPD has an ego/arrogance associated trait as well.

One of the less discussed symptoms of ASPD is its relationship with self-esteem. In ASPD, self-worth is extremely unstable and often based on whatever the most recent accomplishment is. Lying, manipulating, stealing, etc are often very much included in this, and pwASPD will often feel proud of ourselves for the action of lying, stealing, etc and separate it from whatever happens as a consequence to it unless we get caught. Then the opposite tends to be true and our self-esteem may take a huge hit and make us feel entirely worthless for not getting away with it. This is why pwASPD are often accused of being sorry we got caught vs sorry we did it; our self hatred is misread as remorse and they only see it if our brains perceive the situation as us having had "failed".

It sounds very possible to me that you may have ASPD or possibly just a mix of NPD and ADHD or autism, both of which can combine with NPD to reproduce ASPD symptoms. It's somewhat about the mindset and how you view the world. One major thing not mentioned here is your view on relationships and how safe people feel to you, which can help differentiate autistic social awkwardness vs ASPD social avoidance. Just some food for thought! I think reading through the extended info on ASPD presentations in the DSM-V may help bring some light to this for you!

Sorry it took so long to get to this ask.