#after the last painting this was a milk run so you get 2 paintings in 24h

[e-nonsense]

Request for batfam x estranged daughter who looks like Batdad's mom Martha💔 she's more independent and has been raised by her mother's family who she is extremely close with, but when it comes to Bruce’s side of her fam she gets awkward and shy cuz she never really interacted with them and doesn't know how to approach them which leads to misunderstandings and angsty setbacks in bonding time. But for whatever reason, she gets along great with Damian and Stephanie as if they've been friends for years. Which causes everyone else to feel left out and a bit jealous when they see the trio hanging out having a good time.

𝗚𝗛𝗢𝗦𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗔 𝗟𝗢𝗡𝗚 𝗚𝗢𝗡𝗘 𝗪𝗢𝗠𝗔𝗡

pairing. Batfamily x batsis!reader, slight Dick Grayson x reader

summary. Reader looks startling alike to Bruce’s deceased mother, Martha Wayne.

warnings. swearing, platonic jealousy, mentions of death, horrible parenting (its Bruce), reader is like crazy rich, reader is also 22 and dick is 26. NOT PROOFREAD

authors notes. hope this is what you envisioned. no part 2 so don’t ask

wc. 1.4k

It was Alfred who made the mistake first. Accidently calling you Martha first. He couldn’t help it, you just look so much like her.

Of course he apologised right after and then nearly had a heart attack when you smiled reassuringly, “its fine Alfred.”

A kind heart to match the face of a woman long gone. The elderly man just nodded in response, deciding too keep his mouth shut from then on.

Then it was Bruce. He completely froze the day he met you, froze and stared like a creep. “Holy shit—“ He was immediately cut off by your mother’s glare at him swearing in front of you. “Sorry.”

That day went on with you being shy and awkward around him and Dick —his newly adopted son— who didn’t seem to have any interest in you at all.

“Bruce Wayne,” the man kneels in the get to eye level with a twelve year old you.

“Uh—“ you found yourself string at your mother nervously, only deciding to utter your name after she nods.

Bruce tries to smile —could you see the way his smile didn’t reach his eyes?— at you, “pretty name.”

That was the first time he had seen you, and the last — unless you count the little run ins you’ve had over the years— until ten years later. You were twenty-two, and looked even more like his deceased mother than before.

Bruce found himself watching as you gave Damian tips on the perfect brush stroke to get a texture that would look more like a cloud on canvas.

You nod and smile —one of those encouraging smiles his mother (Martha) used to give him when he got something right— “that’s it. Just try to get lighter towards the end, gives it that fluffy feeling.”

When you had decided to contact Bruce yourself ten years later it had caught him off guard but he agreed. He watched as Damian took to you immediately, the ten year old boy milking you for that motherly affection he never got from his own mother.

The validation when you pat his head and smile at him proudly at his minor achievements, something was child's play to him and yet you were so proud because of it.

The warmth you gave when you smiled in encouragement, or when you’d chuckle softly at his annoyance about one of his brothers. His brothers, not yours as well. You didn’t Bruce’s other wards as siblings, they hadn’t tried to reach out to you so you decided not to bother them with trying as well.

You were nice not stupid.

Stephanie walked into the art room you and Damian had filled with art pieces. You chuckled when the younger girl groaned and draped her arms around you, whining about some inconvenience she had been victim to earlier in the day.

You patted her head and chuckled when Damian scowled at the blonde girl, “get off her you mongrel.”

“Damian,” you say sternly and the young boy huffs before going back to painting clouds. You dragged both yourself and Stephanie towards the couch in the corner of the art filled room and listened as she whined about her day. How Bruce had scolded her about a mistake she made on the field, a minor mistake that even who would make from time to time.

You saw the tears of frustration brimming in the girls eyes and you sigh. “It’s alright Steph,” you hum softly as the girl presses her face into your shoulder.

If Damian hears the blondes sniffles he ignores it, leaving the comforting to you.

None of you speak of Stephanie’s breakdown after it happened. Opting to ignore it afterwards and move on.

Dinner later is chattier than usual, both Damian and Stephanie sitting on either side of you, giving the other member of the family zero chance to gain your attention.

Across from you sat Dick Grayson, who tried to gain your attention but continuously failed so decided to annoy his other brothers. You’re attention is finally somewhere else when Jason growls in annoyance at something Bruce had said.

“It’s for kids Bruce,” Jason seems to be seething. “Children who don’t have the luxury of getting a meal everyday.”

“I can’t trust that the money will actually go into that cause Jason,” Bruce simply sighs. You frown at that, for the first time you speak up.

“Sorry to intrude, but what are you arguing about?” Your voice isn’t timid or soft, it’s stern and had an authority quality that has Jason looking at you in shock before replying.

“Charity thing I’m tryna do,” he begins to explain. “Wanted some money to buy an empty warehouse and build a place that serves food on a daily basis to homeless people.”

You hum in response, “it’s a good idea.”

Jason beams at the praise, “thank you.” And you smile in response, “how much do you need?”

The question catches everyone off guard, “sorry?”

“How much, it’s a good idea and I’d like to help.” You ask and Jason nods.

“Well i wanted it in a good area in Gotham, might help relocate people and stuff.” You nod taking in his words. “$300,000. I need that much.”

Jason shrugs nervously as you think it through, “done.” You smile slightly, “call me if you need anymore though. I’d be happy to help.”

Jason stares at you like you’re some kind of saint, “where are you going to even get that kind of money?” He asks nervously, surely this was too good to be true. You barely knew him, why would you give up that much money so easily.

You chuckle in response, “my dad’s rich.” You pause before adding, “the man my Ma married I mean.”

“So is my Ma,” you shrug. “I inherited it all when they retired.” Jason blinks a few times, as if trying to determine if you’re actually real.

“So would you say you’re richer than Bruce?” Tim asks and you glance over at him before shrugging. “Maybe? I dunno.”

Bruce watches from the head of the table, “she is.”

You raise a brow at that, “stalking my bank account or something?”

Bruce chuckles and shakes his head, “no. But I know your father and he’s been years ahead of me for a long time.” You snort in response, “sounds like him alright.”

The rest of dinner passes and you go back to talking to Damian and Stephanie. Jason watches you three from his seat beside Dick. “Why does she only talk to them?”

Dick pauses to look at Jason and puts his fork back down onto the plate, before glancing over at you who seemed to be nodding along to whatever Damian was saying.

“Dunno,” he shrugged. “To be fair we haven’t tried to exactly reach out to her as much either.”

Jason hummed in response, “demon brats a bit attached to her though.. don’t you think?”

“Guess so, pretty sure he looks up to her.” Dick says to Jason before moving his fork towards his mouth. “Like a motherly figure or something.”

Jason snorts and Tim looks over at them, “funny. He’s got two of his siblings substituting as parental figures.”

Tim chokes on his food before laughing, “now that you’ve said it.”

Dick rolls his eyes and chuckles, “leave the kid alone. He got a shitty deal of parents.” Jason snickers but he doesn’t deny it.

Dinner finishes quickly after that, and they watch as you let Damian drag you away, Stephanie following closely behind. “You must meet batcow.” Damian says before leaning in closer to you, to whisper in your ear, “Don’t tell father but there are ducks in my room.”

You wink at him and nod, “our secret then.”

The rest of the night passes and Damian is asleep by the end of it. You find yourself back at the front door, slipping your coat on deciding to go home. “Leaving?”

You turn around quickly to see Dick Grayson, an amused look on his face and a small smile playing on his lips. “I am too,” he shrugs approaching you and reaching for his jacket. “I’ll walk you,” he offers and when you nod he grins outstretching his hand.

Nervously you take his hand in yours and let him pull you along towards the front door, “I know a great view.. I could take you?”

You smile and shrug, leaving the decision to him, “guess we’re going then. I’ll warn you though it high up and its Gotham so don’t expect it to be too pretty.”

You chuckle and he keens at the sound, he finds himself wanting to hear it again, and again, and again.

“I won’t get my hopes up then,” you smile up at him.

He grins and leads you out of the manor and onto the streets of Gotham, that coincidently happened to quite peaceful that night. He silently thanked Bruce for fucking up again, he wouldn’t get this chance if he hadn’t.

© hells-escapees. do no copy/steal/translate. do it and I’ll bite your toes off

[natashaslesbian]

Sleepy Bear

Summary: Natasha finds an unusual way to help you sleep

Word Count: 1.1k

Parings (Natasha Romanoff x Reader)

Warnings: none I believe :))

————

You had no idea how long your girlfriend had been doing this for you. Sleep had never come easy to you, only did you get a rest when your exhaustion would force your body to shut down. Your thoughts leave you restless each night, the anxiety had always been there. Your mom started you in therapy when you were 7, the nightmares should have stopped by then. She tired everything, your mother, each week was a new medication. Your dad on the other hand, he couldn’t have cared less. It was him who marched you into the hospital demanding they scanned your ‘daft brain’ as he put it. There was nothing to be found. Years of therapy only brought the diagnosis of anxiety, much to the disappointment of your father. Dr Grey was a nice lady, but she couldn’t quite solve your problems. You were too young to put your anxiety into words, you just knew it made you too scared to sleep. You stopped therapy after your mom died and your dad refused to pay, you were left to your own devices.

You met Natasha 2 years ago at the coffee shop you work at. She fell head over heels the second she laid her eyes on you, not that she’d ever tell you that. You had your eyes on her too, it took you months to realise that she was purposely going out of her way to visit the shop multiple times a week. It started with lasting looks and then lingering touches when you passed the redhead her iced caramel oat milk latte. Soon you were slipping her extra cookies and then one day she slipped you her number, you never looked back after that day. After a few months you finally let Natasha come over to your apartment, she was horrified at the state you were living in, sleep was the last of your worries. Your dad kicked you out after you told him you were gay, you took what you could and found the cheapest little studio available. The paint was chipped all over, the cooker didn’t work and you were on the verge of eviction. The widow was desperate to move you into the compound, despite your discomfort at the idea. Eventually you agreed to take residence in one of the spare rooms, and surprisingly you settled in straight away. Your life fell back on track after that and you and Natasha had grown closer and stronger than ever, you even shared a room now, Natasha had to move the ring in her bedside draw to Clint’s room.

A slightly sharp corner had you stirring slightly, the assassin quick to flash you a worried glance. You settled again straight away, rolling your face into the cold window. The day you had finally told Natasha about your anxiety was a relief, you cried for hours that wednesday. Since your mother, no one had been so kind. You were so afraid she would run a mile, but she sat with you for all those hours, just holding you. Nat promised to spend every sleepless night with you, lord knows she had her own problems when it came to sleep, but you somehow found comfort in each others restless nights. Often you would take turns in reading to each other, some nights you would go for a stroll around the grounds of the compound. But your favourite form of medicine was the car. Natasha would wrap you up in her fluffy blanket and strap you snug into the passenger seat, the gentle hum and sway of the motor would eventually lull you into a slumber. It took months for your girlfriend to convince you to even try the idea, you hated it at first, what did she think you were, a baby? “I know you’re not an actual baby, but your my baby” she would say “let me take care of you” how she even thought of the plan was a mystery to you and you definitely didn’t want to admit it was working.

Natasha pulled into the 24 hour gas station, the car coming to a scratchy stop. “Mm, Tasha?” You mumbled, half asleep still. “I’m here sweetheart, I just need to get some gas” she said “would you like some snacks? Or do you wanna sleep a little longer?” Your belly rumbled right on cue “choccy biscuit” maybe you were still a baby at heart, “one pack of chocolate biscuits coming right up” the beautiful red head said, oh how you thought her locks were just gorgeous. “You’re so pretty” you whispered, eyes only half open “thank you baby” Natasha laid a kiss on your warm lips and you couldn’t stop the little squeal that escaped you. She wasn’t gone long enough for you to miss her, considering you continued to doze in her absence. You heard the familiar commotion of your girlfriend climbing back into the drivers seat, you peeled your eyes open to give her a sleepy smile “here you go sleepy bear” your favourite biscuits were deposited into your lap and you whispered a small thanks.

You contently nibbled for the 45 minute journey back to the compound, while Natasha quietly sang along to whatever trash was on the late night radio, you always thought they played the worse songs during the early hours of the morning. A quick glance at the clock told you it was 2:36am, Natasha had been driving you to sleep for over an hour, there was nothing she wouldn’t do for you. “I love you” you said, breaking the silence “I love you too y/n” Natasha replied, a bit unsure at why you were suddenly all mushy. “No” you continued “I really love you” a red light gave Nat the chance to flash you another worried look, she softened when you saw your eyes glistening back at her, and the smile engraved on your face “you’re welcome baby girl” you swear she could read your mind. With the conversation at a happy standstill you decided to close your eyes again, just for a little nap until you were home.

When you stirred again, the rough car seat had become your plush mattress and your head was laying comfortably on your pillow. It quickly became Natasha’s as she climbed into bed with you “can I have my own pillow sleepy?” She giggled “no” you sighed, carrying the sound to the end of your breath “it smells like you” you mumbled “but I’m right here?” The widow kindly shot back “oh yeah” you said, eyes still tightly shut, you still failed to roll back over though. “You’re not gonna move are you?” Natasha said, you shook your head against her arm and she didn’t hesitate to haul you up into lap, her arms wrapped tightly around your waist and your head perfectly slotted into the crook of her neck. “Sweet dreams y/n” Natasha wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep that ring locked away.

————

I wrote this when I couldn’t sleep and I almost cried

-Astara

[rendy-a]

if requests are still open, and if it's okay for me to ask for a follow-up; Can I ask how thankful the boys would be for the time-breaker S/O's UM during their daily lives ? slice of life, fluff, goofy "moments before disaster" saved by S/Os UM, all those good things :D I've been thinking about a few highlights, like... Slowing time around the table area during an unbirthday party because Ace ALMOST crashed into the table; S/O uses their unique magic to get up and hold him by the back of his jacket in time to yank him back onto his feet; S/O is now a mandatory attendant to all unbirthday parties as result... (On the bright side, Riddle looks a whole lot more relaxed now) Cheka tries to ambush S/O and Leona when he takes them home to meet the family. S/O turns around in slow motion during Cheka's leap; now S/O is gently holding the young boy by the back of his shirt, nonchalantly smug, "To be fair, i think was a good attempt?" (Leona knows he must not laugh but what the fuckLMFAO- ) Jamil's list of daily "Almost-s" is no longer a threat to his heart with S/O around, but the way his S/O delivers news to him by throwing letters Kaiba-style only to freeze them in place almost does it; but its the good news that make his heart jump this time (the news itself is up to you but i'm imagining smth along the lines of "Kalim's older siblings came back from buying milk and made some new friends who decided to be guards lmfao you can just work halftime now, congrats" written in a royal way) ...these boys better give their S/O a hug and some kisses for all that effort, honestly

(you don't have to choose from the ones i wrote or do any of 'em!! i'm just very happy to read your writing at all and I wanted to share whats in my mind in case it gave you any ideas too ^^ thank you for writing twst, and I'm so sorry for the long asks!! I like to hope it makes writing easier rather than harder for you x( <3333 )

Goodness, I thought this would be fast to right since I'd just finished the last one but it took me the same amount of time. Anyway, here is a part 2 for this story.

Making a Moment Last Afterwards

Life as a magical prefect has its perks.  How do things change between you and your sweetheart after your confession?

Riddle had always saw his future as that of a magical doctor, fixing people who were injured or broken.  Maybe that is why the way you use your ability to prevent injury so catches his attention.  One morning, you came to meet him at Heartslabyul so you could walk to class together.  You give him a warm smile as way of a greeting.  “Right on time dear,” he says with a smile.  Just then, a student lets his mind wander too much on the iconic eye-bending staircases and stumbles.  “Ack!” he yelps as he starts a tumble down the stair, hand just missing the railing.  Riddle reaches for his pen but you are faster.  Before he hits the ground, you have him frozen in place.  You hold him there, suspended in time, until Trey and Cater are able to grab him by his jacket.  Then you release your magic and the upperclassmen yank their junior back onto his feet, thus preventing a horrible accident. 

“Why do these stairs need to be designed so crazy!” the shaken student complains.  You feel like that was not a well-timed complaint and, glancing at your boyfriend’s face slowly turning into an angry scowl, you know you were correct.  “Because that is tradition!” you say with forced humor, patting your bristling boyfriend on the arm.  Riddle calms down and gives a sharp nod, as if to say ‘Exactly! So there!’  Then he turns to you and offers his arm with a satisfied smile.  His dearest always knows just what to do.

The next incident was during preparations for the upcoming Unbirthday Party.  A freshman was up on a ladder to paint the highest roses red when a certain grey fire gremlin runs wildly past, knocking the ladder and sending the student flying.  You fling out your magic, catching the first year in time to save him a bad fall but not fast enough to prevent a wrenched wrist.  Luckily, you know enough first aid to help him wrap it tight before sending him to the school infirmary.  Riddle looks at you, wrapping the student’s wrist, and gets a thought; you are just like a nurse.  “What’s that?” Deuce asks him.  Riddle blushes, did he say that out loud?

When the day of the Unbirthday party arrives, you sit happily on the right side of Riddle.  He smiles with such satisfaction to have you seated in a place of honor by his side.  “Urgh!”  You hear a student cry out as he trips, flinging a pot of hot tea toward a group of students.  Thankfully, you manage to catch the hot tea before it hits anyone.  You still rush over to the group to check them over (better safe than sorry!) while also scolding the stumbling student to be more careful on the uneven ground. 

You finish looking over the last student and give him a pat, “I think you are good.”  He smiles sheepishly at you and replies, “Thank you, Nurse Rosehearts.”  Your eyes widen and your mouth makes a little O shape.  That is nothing compared to the levels of embarrassment your boyfriend is experiencing.  “What did you say?” he asks menacingly.  “Ah, well you see…um Deuce told us you call the Prefect your nurse and we all thought it was fitting so…”  Riddle is now a shade of red you hadn’t realized it was possible for a human to turn, “Deuce.  If you have nothing better to do with your head than spread rumors, I take it you have no objections to me claiming it.  OFF WITH YOUR HEAD!”  You mouth ‘sorry’ to your collared friend as Riddle continues to scold him.

Later that night, Riddle muses as he brushes his teeth.  Nurse Rosehearts.  That has a nice sound to it.

Your life with Leona could be summarized in one word, restful.  How could it not be, the lazy second prince insisted you nap with him whenever he could get a moment of your time.  Some of the students from Savanahclaw think it’s cute, the proud Leona wanting to cuddle his sweet little herbivore like his own personal teddy.  Those who spent the most time around him knew better.  It was for your special skills. 

Leona’s guide to napping Part 1, prepare the environment.  The botanical garden was a favorite date spot for you and your boyfriend.  The temperature was temperate, the plants were colorful background and, during classes, it was nice and quiet.  Usually. 

Leona’s ears flicker irritably.  Drip. Drip. Drip.  A huffing sound escapes from your boyfriend’s lips as he pulls you closer, attempting to drown his awareness of the sound with your comforting presence.  Drip, drip, drip.  He grips you and rolls over to his other side, bringing you along for the ride.  “Woah, come on; warn a person before you do something like that!” you scold.  He opens a single eye to glare out from, a “Tck” sound slipping out irritably when he sucks is teeth in annoyance.  “Fine, fine.  Want me to get up and see if I can tighten the faucet?” 

When he rumbles deep in his chest and grips you even tighter, you know that is a no.  ‘Fine,’ you think, ‘time for a last resort measure.’  Moments later the sound stops.  Leona’s eyes open at the cessation of the sound, instincts pulling him to alertness at the change in atmosphere.  After a moment, his gaze falls on your amused expression, of course you’d stopped it with your magic.  “Five minutes tops.  You better fall asleep fast.”  He smiles, drawing your head into his chest.  “Won’t even take two, Herbivore.”

 Leona’s guide to napping Part 2, avoid pests at all costs.  You could hear the screeching from down the hall.  Children just operated at their own frequency.  The look on Leona’s face said he found the joyful chirrups more like you’d take nails on a chalkboard.  His face visibly annoyed as the young Checka clutched at his hand exclaiming, “Unka Leona, look! Unka Leona, see that!” at every little point of interest.  You feared, if he didn’t get a break soon, Leona would snap.

“Hey Checka, want to see a cool field where you can catch butterflies?”  you suggest.  The bright face of the child turns to you, “Yeah!”  Leona smiles at you gratefully and attempts to shake Checka’s hand off.  “No, you come too, Unka Leona!” Checka insists.  Leona’s smile falls into a stern frown quickly.  You quickly move to catch his eye and give him a conspiratorial wink.  Leona looks at you for a long moment and then sighs. “Lead the way, Herbivore.”

When you get to the fields near Ramshackle, there were indeed an assortment of moths and butterflies that flitted between the grasses and blooms.  “Come on Checka, I’m a pro at this!  Let’s go!” you shout and grab the little cub’s hand to urge him to join you.  And he does, allowing Leona to slip into the tall grass for a short reprieve from his noisy charge. 

Only the peace doesn’t last.  What seems like a brief moment later, Checka pounces upon his hapless uncle.  “Ooph!” Leona huffs, giving the boy a disapproving look.  “Checka, where did you go?” you call out helplessly.  “Unka Leona, are you sleepy?” the little cub asks Leona curiously.  Leona rolls his eyes and looks at you with a look that reads, ‘rescue me.’  You rack your brain for another distraction.

Finally, even you must admit you’ve reached your limit and give up.  “Hey kid, want to do something fun?  Come here and I’ll teach you to fly.”  The young lion bounds eagerly to his feet and runs to your side.  You grip him by each underarm and toss him into the air.  “Whooa!” you both yell.  When he lands, he shouts “Again!”  So you oblige him.  Only this time, when he lands in your arms, you freeze him in time.  “Herbivore, you are horrible.” Leona teases you.  “Shush, you.  Let’s get some rest in while we still can.” 

Leona holds out an arm, inviting you to join him where he lays.  You snuggle up and fall into an exhausted slumber.  It lasted fifteen minutes, until your magic wore off.  The best fifteen minutes of your day.

Jamil worked harder than anyone else you knew.  Although you hadn’t officially gotten together after that magical night, you still somehow seemed to always be at his side.  From that vantage, you’d been introduced to the grueling schedule that Jamil kept as both a student and servant to Kalim.  You were fortunate that Scarabia had so many spare rooms.  If not for the fact that you often slept over at the dorm, you might not see Jamil for days at a time. 

The sun was barely risen when a sharp knock came at the door of your guest room suite.  You mumbled to yourself before rolling over to look at the time.  It was so early… A few minutes later, another knock sounds on your door.  You know by this that Jamil has passed your room first to light the oven, getting it warm for breakfast, and again on his way to get Kalim out of bed.  You’d like to stay and sleep longer but, with Jamil working so hard already, how could you?

A short time later, you are joined in the kitchen by Jamil.  He gives you a warm smile in welcome and you both get to cooking.  When you had first started cooking with Jamil, he barely trusted you to boil water but now, well, it’s not much but you’ve graduated to chopping veggies.  When he has time, which is rare, he tries to help you improve your cooking skills.  Each time you manage to master a new skill to his satisfaction, you earn a pat on the back and a small, “Well done.”  The praise was more precious to you than jewels.

You finish off a carrot and slide the chopped offering down to Jamil, who adds it to a skillet of simmering spices and gravy.  “What would you like next?” you ask him.  “In a moment, Prefect.  This part is tricky, so I need to concentrate.” Jamil answers.  You don’t mind at all, enjoying the sight of Jamil skillfully flipping the contents of the skillet. 

“Eeek!” came a cry from the lounge.  You both recognized that voice, it was Kalim.  You make eye contact and both simultaneously look at the sizzling skillet.  “Go,” you say, “I’ve got this.”  Jamil is starting to freak out, “I haven’t approved you to make rice yet, let alone this!”  You roll your eyes at him and gesture, freezing the contents of the skillet mid-flip.  “Ahhh,” Jamil mumbles, the beginnings of embarrassment showing on his face.  You’d like to tease him more but there is still Kalim yelling in the lounge, so you suppose that can wait until this new disaster was dealt with. (It was a spider.)

Parties were so frequent an occasion in Scarabia that you’d rather become numb to them.  You were helping Jamil set up for the latest party for…you weren’t even sure anymore.  It may have been Riddle’s horse’s birthday or something.  Anyway, you were hanging banners from the many railings of the balconies in the Scarabia lounge to prepare for the event. 

Plus, you had a secret duty assigned by Jamil.  From the corner of your eye, you kept Kalim in your sight.  Since Jamil must be away at Basketball Club for the moment, he has entrusted you with keeping Kalim in order.  This mostly amounts to stopping Kalim before he lets his wild ideas run away with him.  Speaking of which, you notice Kalim is excitedly gesturing as he speaks to (honestly you don’t remember his name, you’ve been calling him Scarabia B in your head).  An over-excited Kalim; that’s not a good sign.

“And elephants too!” you were just in time to hear.  Oh no, this had gotten out of hand.  You walk faster towards the pair but Kalim excitedly jumps up and runs off towards his treasure room.  You quickly follow.  “Kalim! Kalim! Where are you going?” you shout.  “Ah, Prefect!” Kalim smiles at you widely, clutching a rolled-up carpet.  “I’m going to take the magic carpet out to herd up some elephants for the party. Aha ha ha!”  Before he can fly off, you grab onto the magic carpet with your magic, freezing it in place.  “Hold it!” you shout.  “We can’t bring elephants to the party or…it will scare the horses!”  Kalim looks at you, his mouth going into a wide O.  Then, just as fast, it shifts into a beaming grin.  “Of course, why didn’t I think of that!  I’m so glad we have you here to help with the party, Prefect!  Aha ha ha!”  Disaster averted.

Parties were fun but they were also exhausting, especially for Jamil.  You followed him around, helping as best you could.  Sweeping up, tearing down party decorations, putting leftover food away to repurpose for tomorrow’s lunch; anything to take a small portion of the burden off your hard-working beau.  Finally, you had had enough.

“Jamil, you need to stop and rest.  This can all wait until tomorrow,” you gently admonish him.  He sets down the empty platter he is carrying and sighs.  “Prefect, I wish your magic could freeze time for the whole world, so I’d finally be able to finish everything.”  You consider this and respond, “Maybe my unique magic can’t do that but that’s not the only magic I have.” Jamil chuckles softly and gives you a look that says, ‘go on.’  You smile at him mischievously, “I’m like the fabled genie of the lamp, ready to grant your every wish.  For your first wish, I’m sending you off to bed for some rest.”  Then you drop the humor, “Even you need a break sometimes Jamil.” 

With a final long-suffering sigh, Jamil relents and lets you walk with him toward his room and well-earned slumber.  “You know, Prefect,” Jamil quietly states, “I believe the genie granted three wishes.”  You pause under the gentle illumination of a lantern set in an alcove.  “Why so he did,” you reply pensively.  Then, stepping close to Jamil, you place a hand on his cheek before drawing him down into a kiss.  His lips are warm against yours in the rapidly cooling night.  When you part, you lay your other hand on his chest and lean into his comforting warmth.  “I guess now you’ll just have to head to your room and think about what you want as your third wish.”

With one last gentle look, Jamil turns and continues alone to his room and rest.  Truly though, he has no need to consider a third wish.  What more could he desire when he already has you?

[sergeantxrogers]

| denouement|

“Rogers, I swear to God, if you do anything to hurt her-”

“I won’t.”

“I know you won’t. It’s still my job as her father to warn you. But, for what it’s worth, I’m glad it’s you.”

Pairing: Steve Rogers x Barton!reader

Word count: 1.7k

Warnings: This is mainly just fluff

Note: This is part four of a mini-series (part 1, part 2, part 3)

__________

Gucci Guilty Pour Homme.

That’s what your shared apartment smelled like, every day, for the past year, ever since Tony introduced Steve to the world of designer cologne. 

The bed sheets always smelled like lavender and patchouli, and the scent of citrus and wood lingered in his wake in the bathroom. It quickly became one of the only scents to bring you immediate comfort, caressing your mind and soothing your nerves with the promise that Steve was somewhere nearby. 

You smiled to yourself as you closed the door after him, sending him off to the facility and staying behind to do some cleaning. A soft burst of air wafted over you, filling your senses with all things Steve, and you sighed.

You couldn’t keep your fingers still. They were practically vibrating at your sides as you strode through the compound, going head first straight towards the living area. You knew that was where he would be; where they would all be.

You heard your father calling your name behind you, but it was like he was miles away. Your only focus was getting to Steve after a month without him - a month that felt like a century. 

You burst through the automatic doors, FRIDAY announcing you and your father’s arrivals, but your ears were ringing far too much to focus on the AI’s voice. Instead, your eyes scanned over the group of Avengers staring back at you with slight concern painting their features. Movement caught your eye, a tall figure and a head of blond hair jumping up off the couch and turning towards you. 

“Y/N,” you heard someone say - it might have been Nat. You weren’t sure, because the second you made eye contact with him, it was like someone reached into the cavity of your chest and pulled out all the air from your lungs. 

Your breath got caught in your throat, and you felt the familiar sting of tears prickling your sinuses and behind your eyes. 

You watched Steve’s lips. They moved in slow motion, mouthing your name softly as he outstretched his hands towards you. The movement triggered you to move, taking large, quick steps toward him, almost running, until you reached him, and threw yourself into his arms. He exhaled roughly with the power of your hug, then inhaled shakily as he wrapped his arms around you. You buried your face in his neck, wetting it with tears you hadn’t even noticed were falling. 

You were so close, you could feel his heart pounding against your chest, heavy and full. It wasn’t close enough. You whispered his name, and he only nodded into your hair. 

Inhaling deeply, you almost laughed. The familiar scent of Steve Rogers was something you could never forget, yet it felt new and invigorating every single time. 

“Y/N.”

You swallowed heavily, and reluctantly peeled yourself away from Steve. You made eye contact with your father, a stoic expression on his face. You began to step away, deciding any more PDA with Steve in front of your dad wouldn’t help your case, when you felt his warm fingers interlock with yours. 

You looked up at him, and he gave you a soft smile, giving your hand a squeeze. It was his way of letting you know everything was alright. 

You sang softly to yourself as you worked, enjoying the quiet 40s tune bleeding through the little radio you kept in the kitchen. 

Emptying the rest of the grocery bags, you began setting everything away where it belonged: cereal boxes in the pantry, milk and juice in the fridge, chocolate chip cookies in Steve’s favorite cookie jar he had made for you when he decided to try something new by taking up pottery (it didn’t work out, but you insisted on keeping the jar, with yours and Steve’s initials painted on the bottom). 

Putting the last of the dairy in the fridge, you closed it, and only then noticed the neon sticky note on the door. Your smile grew when you read the note in Steve’s neat handwriting. 

Be ready at 7 pm. Wear something nice, I have a surprise for you - Stevie

Even when he wasn’t with you, he managed to make you blush.

_____

“Clint, I still don’t understand why you’re so against this,” Nat’s voice carried through the air, and you heard your father sigh heavily. 

“It’s just- I never thought- I knew she’d start dating eventually, it’s just that Rogers was the last person I expected.”

“Why, though? Capsicle is, like, the perfect choice.”

“Tony-”

“No, seriously - he isn’t America’s Golden Boy for nothing. He’s the literal picture of everything good and great and wonderful and blah blah blah,” Tony said, and you swore you could here the way he rolled his eyes as he spoke. You bit back a laugh, not wanting to expose yourself. 

You had asked FRIDAY where Steve was, and the AI had informed you that he was in an important meeting with your father and the rest of the team. With a bit of coaxing and begging, you had managed to find out the subject of the meeting was actually you, and with a bit more pleading, FRIDAY had told you which meeting room they were in. Which was how you found yourself in your current situation, standing as still as a statue in the hallway, careful not to move and risk being seen through the glass doors that did little to block out sound. 

Really, you’d think someone as rich as Tony Stark would have soundproof doors to his meeting rooms. 

Little to your knowledge, Steve’s superhearing had let him know exactly when you had come and hid on the other side of the doors. If he focused hard enough he could hear your steady heartbeat, and the inhale and exhale of your breathing. Even without his enhanced senses, he was so in tune with your body, he’d be able to feel the worry and anxiety radiating off of you even behind the wall. 

Vision’s deep, steady voice was what you heard next. 

“Although I wouldn’t quite use Mr. Stark’s exact... terminology, I do agree that Captain Rogers is a textbook example of what a good man should be, therefore there should be no reason for you to... ban this relationship of theirs.”

You heard your dad sigh, and you could picture him in your mind pinching the bridge of his nose as he mulled over Vision’s words. 

“Rogers... Rogers, I swear to God, if you do anything to hurt her-”

“I won’t.”

“I know you won’t. It’s still my job as her father to warn you. But, for what it’s worth, I’m glad it’s you.”

You heard a soft thud, and you guessed Steve clapped a hand on your father’s shoulder. 

“Clint...” Steve began with a lowered voice. “I promise you, with every fiber of my being... I want nothing but the best for her.”

Your father sighed. “I know. So do I. Which is why I’m allowing... this. As much as I hate to admit it, you’re good for her. I see how much you affect her, positively. And I hate seeing her upset.”

You couldn’t help the smile from growing on your lips, nor the happy tears forming in your eyes. 

“Alright,” Tony’s voice cut through the silence. “Now can someone tell the pipsqueak to stop eavesdropping and come in already?”

_____

Gucci Guilty. Lavender Downy fabric softener. The color blue. Bing Crosby and Billie Holiday. Peach rings and chocolate chip cookies. The American flag. 

Over the span of a little over a year, your brain had accumulated a list of things that it always associated with Steve Rogers. Your entire life was stained with the essence of Captain America and everything that made him him. 

And of course, everywhere you looked, without even realizing, there were signs of him infiltrating your life and making a home in your heart. To anybody else, these things were unimportant, practically nonexistent. But to you, they were everything. 

His running sneakers always haphazardly resting by the door. His toothbrush next to yours on the bathroom sink, and his body wash in the shower. The scratches on the hardwood floor from all the times he pulled his chair out and pushed it back in when you’d have dinner together. Cookie crumbs always on the kitchen counter by the cookie jar no matter how many times you told him to wipe them away. The picture of him and Bucky, framed, sitting right next to a picture of you and him, underneath the TV. His shirts and hoodies hanging in his half of the closet, behind a sliding door. His cologne on the vanity. 

Signs of your shared life were all around you, surrounding you to the point where you felt uncomfortable if something of Steve’s was out of place.

You felt lucky.

“What’re you so smiley about, babydoll?”

His voice pulled you out of your thoughts, and you looked up from the bathroom sink, meeting his eyes in the mirror. You hadn’t even realized he had come in. Steve wrapped his arms around you from behind, securing you in his grip, resting his chin on your shoulder. You gave him a small shrug and a shake of your head. 

“Nothing specific, just...”

“Just...?”

You shrugged again, then turned in his arms to face him. Your hands rested on the back of his neck, scratching at it softly as you scanned his face. 

“Just?” he repeated, and you smiled again. 

“Just thinkin’ about you, that’s all,” you said in a voice hardly above a whisper. Steve tilted his head, expression softening. Bringing a hand up, he ran a knuckle softly against your jaw.

“You have no idea how glad I am Clint had a secret family he never told us about.”

That elicited a laugh from you, bubbling in your throat and spilling over your lips. Steve almost wanted to drink it. 

He smiled in soft amusement, then pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“You’re everything to me,” he mumbled against your skin, and you melted deeper into his arms, body molding against his like it always did. 

You only nodded, burying your head into his chest, focusing on his heart beating against your ear.

“I’m glad the universe sent you to me,” you whispered, and he inhaled deeply. 

“Me too.”

__________

TAGLIST:

@a-ngeli-que @maatsim @agirlinherhead @s-katergorl @ace-27749 @leyannrae @tailsoflightning @acidwidow @angelofthorr @gallysonegoodlung @creatingjana​ @seitmai​ @i-loveyoubutyourenotmine @inlovewfictionalmen826 @multinci @peaches1958 @loaksmuntxa @rosedpetal @spookyparadisesheep @talesofadragon @wbyss @wintasssoldier @onelemonoat @buckybarnesandmarvel @epiphany-of-a-madwoman @shortnloud @saltedcoffeescotch @emturtles @little-blue-fishie 

[ikoarts]

October 2023 Art

for some reason i wrote a novel under the cut, for those of u actually reading, thank u for being so patient x

vvv dates + info under the cut vvv

1 - 03/10/2023 : another of my faves of last year, was trying to get better at drawing trainz, so just Edward and Toby hanging out, displaying the duality of old men x

2 - 04/10/2023 : got a new puter! one of the first things i set to doing after getting set up was to draw a Ru, of course, it was also just me trying to get used to the new MS paint..... it feels very odd

3, 4, 5 - 06/10/2023 : part 1 of redrawing random pics i have of Edward on my phone with my human version of him, this was really fun tbh, and the third here is one of my fave drawings of the year probs.. like sir.. those look heavy... what big uhh.. Glasses.. you have

6, 7, 8 - 07/10/2023 : part 2! i think i just like drawing his face... dare i say this train is cunty or will that get me exiled

9 - 08/10/2023 : something stupid i thought of and couldn't get out of my head for days so had to draw it..... little johnny from oingo boingo's only a lad, doing what he does best, fantasising about radios he wants oh so bad and running people down with a boyish craving for blood.. based on that 1 meme of the guy driving and thinking of a thing then making that insane face

10 - 09/10/2023 : based on that 1 silly vargskelethor song (that could not be less specific), had Shed 17 on the brain and was reminded of the milk song where the skeleton comes out.. thomarse dank 2 much milk and died..

11, 12 - 10/10/2023 : chooshada again :333 first a little doodle on my phone bc i was wondering about her livery, i do think she'd have originally been NER apple green but then painted NWR colours, butttt with a twist... coz i can do whatever i like... the twist is just that she's painted dark blue rather than a sky blue, coz its more her colour x

ALSO MS paint shada, wanted to draw her more uh, idk, detailed ig, idk i love this one, it also served as more train practice

13 - 13/10/2023 : previous one, but with COLOUR!! not much 2 say other than that shes very cute

14 - 18/10/2023 : saw a tweet abt old photos of engine crews posing with their crashed locos and how the NWR crews would do that, made me think of how, if Toni was (choo)shada's driver, she'd do that.. probably x .. very like her to slay in the midst of a terrible accident

15 - 22/10/2023 : predictably, i have some playlists for the ttte engines, one for Diesel which is notable here, so uhh, i have the scrapped song from the lorax "biggering" in there, bc i see it as like a Duck vs Diesel song, ik im surpassing several layers of cringe here but hear me out ok... i drew this at 2am coz i couldn't stop thinking of Duck lecturing Diesel

16, 17, 18 - 25/10/2023 : speaking of playlists, think i was listening to my Robin one here, and felt like drawing him, i have "the land of make believe" in there, which ive always found to be an oddly haunting song, so this is semi based on that, though that wouldn't be apparent if i hadn't just told u x .. this looks like vent art but tis not i was just having fun

also tiny chooshada, i was in the middle of writing something which i have literally Just remembered now and i was writing a scene where Ru is stuck between some characters who shes not looking forward to working with bc they're about to bicker the whole fuckin time and one of them thinks shes a dick, so i drew her being sad that shes forced to work with morons..... and speak of the devil, 3rd drawing is here with 2 of the aforementioned morons :D i think D+D take a liking to her, they're just a little obnoxious (love them for that)

19 - 27/10/2023 : a quick(ish) digital thing of Chooshada again that i did on the side of another project, more engine drawing practice he he, she'll be out of proportion and lacking detail but really it was just to not be too hard on myself about that, it did help i think to understand how to draw her more, plus just look at her lil face... also she has a number here, doesn't mean much other than 8 being her lucky number, other than 11, like those are just her numbers, suppose i could have it be 1188 to ref her bday, idfk x

[overobsessedfanboy23]

The Easter Egg War

Description: Kuaidul convinces Yudias that Easter is about throwing eggs at people. So the two go to ambush the MIK.

Word Count: 2879

AO3 link if you prefer: https://archiveofourown.org/works/54862255

Some season 2 spoilers mentioned in this thing but nothing recent, just Phaser and Kuaidul stuff.

When Yuhi woke up that day, the last thing he expected was to get a mouthful of egg yolk and paint launched at his mouth as he took a bite of cereal.

He spat it out, looking around wildly. “Who did that?!” He demanded.

“Kuaidul Velgear!” A voice boomed through the house.

“And Yudias Velgear!”

Yuhi turned to the two Velgearian brothers in question. Kuaidul held a basket of eggs, seemingly freshly painted as the paint on each one was bleeding all over every other egg around it, making it look like just a mass of rainbow tie dyed chaos.

“Happy Easter, Yuhi!” Kuaidul and Yudias exclaimed in unison. However, while Yudias’s voice was pure joy, Kuaidul’s had a sinister edge to it.

Yuhi glanced at his cereal. Purple and green paint had dripped into the milk.

“Why would you throw that at me?” Yuhi grunted, glaring specifically at Kuaidul.

“Because it’s what this holiday is all about!” Kuaidul exclaimed, grinning wildly.

Yuhi flinched. “What?!”

“Indeed!” Yudias was nodding eagerly. “Kuaidul told me all about it! Today is called ‘Easter’ and it is a day that humans engage in battle using coloured eggs such as these as projectiles!”

“We stayed up all night painting them.” Kuaidul turned to Yudias. “And now, my brother, we shall go engage in colourful egg warfare with the celebrating humans!”

He cast a glance at Yuhi, his smile going from the friendly ‘innocent’ one he gave Yudias to a far more sinister one.

“Yes!” Yudias was beaming obliviously.

“No!” Yuhi shot to his feet.

Kuaidul grabbed Yudias by the arm, swiftly leading him out the door. “Remember, our main targets shall be the MIK! They love Easter warfare!”

“Got it, Kuaidul!” Yudias took an egg out of the basket. The red paint instantly stained his fingertips but he remained unfazed by it.

“Yudias, no!” Yuhi cried out. “This isn’t a normal part of Easter!”

He was chasing after the two but even his full speed run felt sluggish compared to a simple speed-walking Kuaidul and from this distance, Yudias couldn’t hear Yuhi’s cries of protest.

“Hm…” Yudias placed his hand on his chin. “Big brother, do you agree that the smartest tactic would be to take out the leader first?”

“Absolutely!” Kuaidul couldn’t hold back a chuckle at the idea. “Let’s pelt Phaser with all we’ve got!”

“Not all!” Yudias protested, his eyes huge. “We must save some for the rest of the MIK! They will have a counterattack ready for us that we must be prepared for!”

Kuaidul smiled and nodded. “Right, of course. My bad.” He handed the Yudias the egg basket. “I know a way to get into Phaser’s office undetected. Just follow my lead, brother. We shall sneak attack him before ambushing the rest of the MIK.”

Yudias nodded vigorously. “And what will we do if they manage to hit us with their eggs?”

“We will keep fighting, of course!” Kuaidul held his arms out excitedly. “These mere eggs cannot faze us, Yudias! We are Velgearian warriors! Even if the humans exceed us in numbers, we will defeat them at this ‘Easter’ with our combined strategy and strength!”

“Ah! Yes!” Yudias perked up. “You are correct! We will win the ‘Easter’, brother!”

As the two Velgearians snuck into the MIK, slipping out of Yuhi’s field of view, he ran to seek help from the only source he could think to reach in time.

“Yuamu, help!” Yuhi ran up to his sister, who was sitting with Asaka and Yuna. “Kuaidul told Yudias that Easter is about egging people and now they’re sneaking into the MIK with a basket of eggs!”

Yuamu spat out her drink. “They’re doing what?!”

Yuna let out a gasp, her eyes glowing. “No way! I want in on that!”

“Yuna!” Yuhi and Yuamu exclaimed, staring at the blonde girl in horror.

“You would side with Kuaidul over the MIK, Yuna?!” Asaka sounded completely baffled.

“Absolutely!” Yuna hopped to her feet. “I never got a chance to get revenge on Phaser for that carding thing! And today would be the perfect day to get away with it! I'm gonna help Yudias and Kuaidul fight the good fight!”

Asaka rose to her feet, her head dipped low. “Then I’m right behind you, Yuna.”

“Asaka?!” Yuhi’s jaw was practically dropped to the floor.

“Great!” Yuna grabbed Asaka’s hand and took off in a run, with the white-haired girl gasping at the way she was dragged behind her.

“W-what have I done?!” Yuhi was trembling in horror.

“I… didn’t see that coming either.” Yuamu was stunned. “But… It’s just eggs. They’re not going to hurt anyone.”

“Still, the MIK will be enraged! We have to stop them!”

“Maybe not…” Yuamu looked away, her finger on her chin. “Considering…”

“Well, I’m not taking any chances!” Yuhi didn’t let Yuamu finish her thought as he raced in the direction of the MIK building.

Inside said building, Yudias and Kuaidul had taken to the ventilation system as their path inside, each taking another vent that both led to different sides of Phaser’s office.

“On my signal,” Kuaidul muttered into the walkie talkie Yudias had given him.

He made it to the end of the vent. However, inside the office, was a sight he didn’t expect: not Phaser, but Tremolo, sitting at Phaser’s desk looking through his cards.

“Huh?” Kuaidul muttered to himself. “Tremolo? But where is Phaser?”

“Phaser!” Yudias’s voice chirped through the walkie talkie. “That’s the signal!”

Kuaidul stiffened. “Wait, no-!”

Yudias burst from the opposite vent, back at full size and pelting an already screaming Tremolo with eggs.

“Yudias!” Kuaidul burst out of the vent as well.

He got to his brother’s side, glaring down the cowering Tremolo utterly covered in egg yolk and paint of all colours.

“Ceasefire! Ceasefire!” Tremolo was exclaiming as he shielded his head.

Yudias ceased.

Kuaidul held up an egg from the basket. “Where is Phaser?” he demanded, his voice dark.

Tremolo hopped to his feet. “I’ll never tell!” He flung the door open and raced down the hall, exclaiming, “Egg attack! Egg attack I’ve been attacked by eggers!”

“Coward!” Kuaidul snapped in a rage.

“Why didn’t he throw eggs back at us?” Yudias asked, turning to Kuaidul.

“We clearly caught him off guard.” Kuaidul was calm again as he explained, “He is gathering reinforcements.”

“Let’s follow him then!” Yudias booked it for the door. “He may lead us straight to Phaser!”

“Yes!” Kuaidul charged out as well, quickly getting to his brother’s side. “Good thinking, Yudias!”

The two Velgearians raced down the empty hallways of the MIK side by side, smiling and laughing all the way. That is until the hallways were no longer empty.

“Freeze!” A mob of about six MIK guards surrounded Yudias and Kuaidul in seconds, pointing non-egg weapons at the two.

“You freeze, you scum of humanity!” Kuaidul was chucking eggs at them in seconds.

Taking advantage of the brief moments they were stunned, Kuaidul grabbed Yudias by the wrist and charged past them.

“Detain the eggers!” A guard yelled.

The mob were after the fleeing Velgearians in seconds.

“Kuaidul!” Yudias sounded outraged as he ran beside him. “Those guards were not using eggs!”

“I noticed!” Kuaidul let out an offended huff. “How dishonourable of them! We cannot allow such cheaters to win the ‘Easter’ battle!”

“Indeed not!” Yudias nodded, his eyes narrowed.

“There they are!” Another voice echoed down the hall, making Kuaidul and Yudias skid to a halt.

More MIK guards blocked their way. At the front, stood Ranran and Manabu, with Nyandestar on his shoulders, pointing what could only be ‘kid friendly’ weapons at Yudias and Kuaidul. The guards behind them meanwhile were closing in.

“Nowhere to run, Kuaidul and Yudias!” Ranran was exclaiming excitedly.

“Your egg attacks end here!” Manabu added, his eyes narrowed.

“Kuaidul, what do we do?!” Yudias exclaimed, clutching the basket of eggs 

“You’re asking ME?!” Kuaidul couldn’t keep the slight panic out of his voice.

This wasn’t going to plan at all: they were supposed to egg Phaser first and escape, not get surrounded by guards!

There was a splattering sound, followed by gasps from Manabu and Ranran.

“Huh?!” Yudias and Kuaidul exclaimed in unison.

Manabu and Ranran had fallen to the ground, covered in yellow egg yolk and pink paint, as more flashes of pink were flung through the air. Nyandestar meanwhile was meowing in alarm as she dodged the eggs.

“Where are those eggs coming from?!” Yudias gasped, his eyes wide.

“Who cares?!” Kuaidul flung a flurry of eggs from the basket, nailing several of the guards behind them in the face.

Yudias grabbed a couple eggs and chucked them as well.

“Ha! Take that MIK scum!” A new voice was exclaiming.

Yuna and Asaka stood at the other end of the hall, looming over the fallen MIK guards with pink stained hands.

“Yuna! Asaka!” Yudias gasped, rushing toward them excitedly. “You have joined forces with Kuaidul and I in the Easter egg war?!”

“Of course!” Yuna nodded, her smile crazed. “Anything to stick it to the MIK for the hell they put us through those two years!”

“Even being on the same team as Kuaidul apparently,” Asaka commented, clearly a bit baffled.

“He was only the bane of our existence for like a week at most,” Yuna replied, flicking her hand dismissively at him. Her gaze shifted to the Velgearian in question. “But yes, he is next.”

Kuaidul laughed at that. “We’ll see about that, human!”

“But for now!” Yudias hopped excitedly. “You will help us ambush, Phaser?”

“Yes!” Yuna threw her hand up in the air. Asaka simply nodded.

“Wait, your target is Phaser?” Manabu was groaning on the floor, spitting out eggshell fragments as Nyandestar licked the yolk off his face. The group looked down at him.

“Don’t try and stop us, catboy!” Kuaidul exclaimed, holding up another egg.

“Stop you?” Manabu rose to his feet. “No! I want to help you!”

“Really?” The four eggers asked in unison.

“Yes!” Ranran hopped to her feet beside him, flinging off her painted glasses. “We want revenge on Phaser as well for what he forced us to do those two years!”

Manabu was nodding eagerly. “We can lead you right to him! He and Tremolo switched offices for the day so Tremolo could hide from his girlfriends’ pranks!”

“Ah! I see!” Yudias nodded eagerly. “Then of course you can help us Ranran and Manabu!”

“Don’t forget me!” Nyandestar exclaimed, hopping back onto Manabu’s shoulders.

“Hell yeah!” Yuna threw her hand up in the air.

“Do… this many people really hate Phaser more than me?” Kuaidul could barely believe his own words.

Manabu shrugged. “Well you know what they say: the enemy of my enemy is my friend.”

“So, let’s go get him!” Ranran called, pointing down the hallway.

“UTS!” The group exclaimed in unison, taking off down the hallway with only egg baskets and vengeance in tow.

It didn’t take them long to reach the office. Manabu took the doorknob and dramatically swung the door open, throwing the first egg into the room. It scored Phaser in the forehead. He grunted, looking up from his paperwork.

“GET HIM!” Yuna shoved her way into the room, flinging several pink eggs all at once.

A couple flopped to the floor. The rest flew right at Phaser, one zipping past but still staining his hair while two more smacked his face and chest. He flinched at the hits.

“What is the meaning of this?!” Phaser snapped, shooting to his feet.

Kuaidul and Yudias burst into the room next, chucking their multi-coloured eggs right at the disguised space dragon.

Phaser attempted to dodge them. However, his swerve to the side only put him right in the path of shots from Yuna’s pure pink eggs, which Ranran and Yuna were hucking at him with almost deranged giggles.

Even Asaka got in on it, grabbing both a multi-colour egg and a pink egg and throwing them both at once.

“Take that!” she laughed competitively.

“Manabu, partner! Pass me an egg!” Nyandestar was exclaiming.

“Gladly, partner!” Manabu held a pink egg in front of her, which she managed to take in her paw and chuck at Phaser, scoring him in the nose.

Kuaidul broke into the most malicious laughter of the bunch. “Yes! Yes! Get him!”

Phaser wasn’t even trying to run anymore, just kneeling on the ground attempting to block the shots with his arm.

“Yudias, pass me the basket!” Kuaidul suddenly ordered, holding his hand out expectantly.

“Huh? Sure?” Yudias handed him their half empty basket of eggs.

“Kuaidul!” Yuna exclaimed impatiently. “That’s our only ammo! I didn’t have enough eggs on such short notice!”

No more eggs were being thrown now. Kuaidul smiled as he made his way across the room toward the already egg and paint covered Phaser kneeling on the floor. He lowered his arm, eyes narrowed up at Kuaidul.

Stopping a few paces away, Kuaidul swung the basket, flinging every last egg at Phaser, the man foolish enough to drop his guard. Cheers erupted from the egg throwing army.

“Yes! Take that Phaser!” Yuna exclaimed.

“That’s what you get for making me go off the deep end!” Manabu snapped, pointing at Phaser.

“And making us work such long hours!” Ranran added, stomping her foot.

There wasn’t an inch of the man in question visible that wasn’t soaked in egg yolk and several colours of paint.

“Manabu, Ranran…” Phaser rose to his feet, wiping his eyes off with an equally colour drenched sleeve. “You know, you could’ve just filed complaints for those things.”

“Like you would’ve listened to them!” Nyandestar hissed, her tail bristling.

“Kuaidul! Yudias!” A new voice was exclaiming, far far too late.

At the door of the office stood Yuamu and a mortified Yuhi.

“Oh crap! We’re too late!”

Tremolo appeared behind the twins, letting out a shrill gasp of horror.

“Big brother!” He shoved Yuhi and Yuamu out of the way to make a mad dash across the room.

“I’m fine, Tremolo,” Phaser insisted, even smiling a bit. “These six just got carried away with a prank.”

“Seven!” Nyandestar hissed, curling around Manabu’s shoulders.

“Prank?” Yudias sounded confused. “What do you mean?”

Everyone turned to Yudias, completely confused, all but one.

“What do you mean, Yudias?” Manabu asked, tilting his head to the side. “Was this not a prank?”

“Yudias…” Kuaidul’s tone was suddenly serious and his head was bowed to Yudias, his hair obscuring his expression. “My brother and comrade, I have something to admit about today.”

Yudias stared at him in concern. “What is it, Kuaidul?”

Kuaidul lifted his head, his face adorned with a huge smile. “APRIL FOOLS!”

Yudias blinked. “Huh?”

“Augh!” Yuhi facepalmed. “I forgot that was also today!”

“I tried to tell you earlier,” Yuamu grumbled to him. “Why do you think no one’s getting arrested or fired right now?”

“Wait, you didn’t know today was April Fools, Yudias?” Yuna asked, turning to him. “I thought that’s what this was!”

“No! Today is not April Fools!” Yudias seemed utterly baffled. “Today is Easter! Kuaidul told me so!”

“It’s both, Yudias.” Kuaidul was chuckling as he explained, “But Easter isn’t a day for throwing eggs at people! I made that up for an ‘April Fools’ prank. And you, my brother, were the fool.”

Yudias’s eyes filled with horror. “You tricked me?!”

Kuaidul burst into laughter.

“You mean roping Yudias into this egg attack was an elaborate prank?!” Tremolo exploded in rage.

“All of it was a prank! You were all fools to let your guards down today!” Kuaidul was beaming as he held his arms out. “You really thought Kuaidul Velgear, great and powerful prototype of the Velgearians, would not know of and have a plan for such a wonderful human holiday?! You are all fools!”

Kuaidul broke into another cackle, only to be cut short when an egg was launched right at his face. It splattered into green and yellow pieces on his cheek. He wiped it off, looking around.

“Kuaidul… my brother…” Yudias’s eyes were obscured by his hair and his tone was dark. Everyone stared at him with baited breath.

“You shouldn’t have let YOUR guard down.” Yudias lifted his head, revealing a prideful smirk on his face.

Kuaidul seemed stunned. After a moment, he huffed with laughter, a smile gracing his lips as he held up some eggs of his own.

“Are you really sure you want to do this, brother?”

“Positive!” Yudias threw another egg.

Kuaidul hopped to the side to dodge it, chucking an egg straight at Yudias. It hit his Gavil Charger. His wings popped out and Yudias jumped into flight.

“EGG BEAM!” He shouted, hucking more and more spare eggs at Kuaidul from above.

Kuaidul was giggling as he dodged the shots. “Fine, Yudias! I’ll play this game!”

He activated his Gavil Charger as well, the two circling each other in the egg filled air of the cramped room. The others watched the quarrelling brothers with varying expressions.

“Well… there goes my office.” Tremolo deadpanned, his eyes narrowed.

“Should we… get more eggs?” Yuhi asked, trying to force a smile.

“Nah.” Yuamu shrugged. “Let them fight it out.”

“Get him, Yudias!” Asaka cheered, throwing her hand up.

[nokingsonlyfooles]

Look! A Thing!

New Instalment this week! It's a web serial about broken people by a broken author on a broken website! I'm just yelling about it as hard as I can while everything burns down around me!

And the site itself!

You like obscure and indie? Just lookit these numbers!

Current known readers: 3 (hi!), 1st Goalpost: 10?

Current supporters: 2 (hi Kith and 5th!), 1st Goalpost: 5?

If you click this and you like it, you have the power to bring two of your friends and double my admitted readership! Hurry! Before success spoils me!

And I'm super distracted, so let me just snip an excerpt from today's thrilling chapter for your feed-friendly perusal!

Ann put up a hand. She drew Hyacinth farther from the door and lowered her voice, “John kidnapped Erik because they needed help and they knew we wouldn’t let him do this. Erik has been helping the Rainbow Alliance save coloured people and get them the hell out of this fucked up country, because Prokovia wants them dead, or… or worse…”

“De-magicked,” Maggie said. She took a sheet of paper off the bed. “It’s an apograph. Most of ‘em are, but you can read ‘em in the mirror. This is the important part. This is what Prokovia wants to do.” She held up the paper so both of them could see. It was divided into four equal parts, all of them moving and displaying text and images at once. “This is what happens when you try to take the magic out of an immie.”

In each quadrant there was a brief, animated snapshot, five seconds at most, followed by backwards text and further still images. They cycled endlessly, somewhat out of sync, as if whoever set them in motion had activated them one after the other, going clockwise from the top left.

The figure at the top left was a milk-white young man with threads of blond in his matching white hair. His complexion had the look of a broken mirror, with cracks running in every direction, except they weren’t open or bleeding. They were what Hyacinth couldn’t help thinking of as a normal human skin tone, but pale tan certainly wasn’t normal for this guy. He was smiling vaguely, almost vacantly, and holding politely still while the person with the camera moved to photograph him from either side. There was a round scar on each temple, just below the hairline.

The scowling blue woman to the right of him had a similar pattern across her face and bare shoulders, just a bit more fair. Her mirror had shattered more violently — there were patches of fair skin between some of the cracks, as if some of the glass had fallen out. She had a set of yellow hands holding her, and she was turning her head from side to side, not quite struggling but clearly uncomfortable. The five-second image ended with her swatting the camera and a split-second shot of a tile floor.

The orange child at the bottom left had no cracks at all, only patches, and much larger ones. The close-cropped hair suggested a boy, but it could have been either. Tears were welling in their eyes as they clutched a stuffed toy, curling their whole body around it and wincing from the camera’s flash. In the last two seconds, a brown hand intruded and gently nudged their head up, allowing a brief three-quarter profile view of a face with an olive-toned patch that included one dark eyebrow.

The final figure, another young man, did not seem to be coloured at all. His hair was dark, his eyes were blue, and his skin was fair. His hands were bandaged and bound to the chair he was sitting in. He was smiling, not unlike the other man, but his brief image also ended with the camera falling or being knocked over, for reasons unseen.

Honestly, the first thing Hyacinth thought was someone had painted up a bunch of coloured people for a weird theme party — except for the guy in the lower right. But then, as the image reset once more, she caught a thread of purple drifting across his face like smoke. It was gone so fast she wasn’t sure she’d seen it at all.

“What the fuck…?” She tried to pause the image and rack it back, dragging her finger from right to left, but it didn’t respond.

Maggie sighed. “It’s an apograph.”

“Smart paper has a backlight,” said the General. “It makes excellent apographs. Mr. Green-Tara seems to have figured that out at some point and copied a great deal of information he was certainly not supposed to keep, or share.”

“He did it for us,” Ann said. She touched the pile with the cardboard on top, but left it where Maggie had abandoned it on the bed. “It’s not much to read, it looks like he wrote it in a hurry, but he knew we’d come for Erik. He’s been trying to put things together for us, the whole time. The Rainbows haven’t told anybody because they don’t know who’s safe to tell…”

“I am the lone holdout,” said the General, “in insisting our government would not be complicit in an attempted genocide…”

“But they must know something is happening,” Maggie said. “They have intel. They’re not stupid. At the very least they’ve seen the ads, and they must know they’re not getting a bunch of coloured Prokovian tourists. It could be they don’t know because they don’t want to know. If they find out, there’s no guarantee they’ll help, and all this evidence is enough to blow the whole rescue operation out of the water if they take Prokovia’s side. The Rainbows aren’t wrong about that.”

“I am willing to admit,” said the General, “that it would be difficult to sell another war at this point, especially one with Prokovia, politically speaking.” She lowered her voice to a snarl, “Although it would be the only appropriate response.”

[Read More on my Disintegrating Website!]

[Or Read Soldier On from the Beginning, that's probably a more sensible place to start!]

[mmvalentine]

Lover Like Me pt 5 | Feysand

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 ** Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11 Part 12 Part 13 Part 14

Tarquin makes good on his word and starts messaging me over the next couple of weeks about getting paintings into his gallery. He wants six, says I can pick four but he must have these two specific ones from my Instagram. I agree to it of course, it’s my first gallery. I’d agree to almost anything. Problem is, I don’t have them. They’re at Tamlin’s.

“Do you want me to drive you over?” Rhys says. We’re all at his place, the movie’s queued up but we’re waiting for Mor. Apparently, the last time they started without her she threw a fit and made them play it from the beginning even though they were a half hour in. I'm telling them about the painting situation, but I haven't shown them the photos yet because I want the first time they see them to be in person, in a gallery. Maybe some of Mor's dramaticism is rubbing off on me.

“No,” I tell him. Rhys’s voice is casual, but there’s something about the set of his jaw when he thinks about taking me back to Tamlin’s house, and I know he doesn’t really want to do it. “I can just do something similar.”

“Okay.” Rhys eats his pizza, letting me pick the olives off my pieces and put them on his. It's a symbiotic system we have. I'm sitting in my what has become my usual spot, in between Mor and Rhys, with his pizza box balanced on my outstretched legs and warm on my shins. He says nothing more about the paintings for the rest of the evening.

When we’re all going back to our own beds, I find Azriel leaning against my door.

It's unusal that I speak to Azriel alone, but Rhys has passed out on the couch and only grunted at us when we tried to wake him.

Last week, I stayed back to help him clean up because I got startled by a jump-scare in the movie and kicked the bowl of popcorn clean out of Rhys's lap. We discussed Beyoncé's input to the new Lion King in parallel with Elton John's in the original while Rhys washed, sleeves pushed up and hands sudsy, and I dried, perched on his kitchen bench beside him. He gave me his silver rings to take care of while he worked, and they were huge on my fingers.

The week before that, Rhys got a new armchair and let me have his old one. He helped me carry it back to my place after the movie and we got into an argument about the best order to watch Star Wars in. We ended up playing about an hour's worth of YouTube content to back up our claims. Perched on the edge of my bed, crowding the small screen of my ancient laptop.

Today thought, it's just me and Azriel, and he has a question for me.

“Can you really do another two paintings before next weekend?”

“Sure,” I say, wondering why he’s asking.

“The four you’re bringing. They’re all new ones, right?” His hands are in the pockets of his jacket.

“Yeah,” I confirm. “I didn’t bring any with me when I moved, they’re too bulky.”

“Do you find it easy to produce artwork on demand?”

“No,” I say slowly. “This is probably the fastest I’ve ever made anything.”

“And do you get as much satisfaction with the end result?”

“I guess not.” I peer at him searchingly, still not understanding.

There’s a long pause, and I’m about to ask what exactly he’s doing outside my door grilling me when Azriel says, “I could get them for you, you know.”

I just stare.

“Get… what, Azriel?”

“Your paintings. I can get them from Tamlin’s house without him knowing.” He says it like he’s offering to pick up some milk since he’s doing a grocery run anyway.

My first instinct is to say no. Is to say definitely not, bad idea, we are not poking the hornet’s nest.

"Azriel, I can't ask you to do that..."

Not to mention it appears that I'd being helped out again and so far have still not brought anything to the table for these people.

"I don't mind. It'd be fun, I need to stretch my legs. So to speak."

Problem is, he’s right. I don’t have two more paintings in me. And I just cannot disappoint Tarquin.

“Okay,” I say. Slightly breathless. Unbelieving. Azriel nods, and pushes off the door.

“Do you want to stay here or come with?”

I blanche. “What, now?”

He shrugs. “You got someplace else to be?” I have no answer to that. “Come on then,” he says, and doesn’t wait for me before strolling off. I shoot a desperate glance towards Rhys’s closed door, praying he’ll never find out about this, and follow Azriel into the night.

Azriel’s car is old but in excellent condition. I can easily imagine him working on it, quiet and meticulous, with scarred but loving hands. It purrs quietly through the streets, and I chew on my fingernails as streetlights stroke the hood. I've never asked about the scars and I'm not sure there's an appropriate way of doing so, so I don't.

“Thanks for doing this,” I say. “I know Rhys offered but…”

“But Rhys isn’t exactly cool, calm and collected when it comes to Tamlin.”

“Exactly,” I agree. There’s a brief silence. “Should we… go over the plan?”

Azriel looks over at me then, curiosity sparking in his dark eyes.

“Sure,” he says. “Where are the paintings?”

“In the garage,” I tell him. “Leaning against the wall on the right-hand side.”

“Okay.” That’s all he says.

“Is that it?”

“Yeah, I can visualise the area.”

“You’ve been in there before?”

“I have.”

I don’t say anything, imagining what reasons Azriel could possibly have for being in Tamlin’s garage. Wondering if Tamlin knew he was there at the time.

“Right. So, what do you want me to do?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?!” I whip my head around to look at him. “Then why did you bring me?”

“Because I thought you might want to come.”

And in fairness, I do. I want to be part of taking back things from Tamlin, and not just sending others in to do it for me.

“Can I be the getaway driver at least?”

Azriel smirks. “Can you drive stick?”

I roll my eyes. "Yes I can drive stick.”

“Then sure.”

I’m mildly surprised; I took Azriel to be the sort to be precious about his car and was ready to argue.

“Is there anything else I can do to help?”

Azriel is quiet for a moment.

“It would be helpful to keep an eye out while I’m in there. Text me if you see Tamlin coming round.” He hands me his phone, glances at it to unlock it, and I use it to call my phone so I have his number.

“Anything else?”

“That’s it. This isn’t exactly a complex mission, you know.”

“Right.” We lapse into silence again. Then I say, “Do you do this a lot, then? Missions?”

Azriel barks a laugh, and I think maybe it’s the first time since I’ve heard it. His laugh.

“Not these days. But when we were younger we used to get into all kinds of trouble.”

“Rhys has told me a few stories…”

“Yeah well, we’re reformed now.” He glances at me. “This is a rescue mission, it doesn’t count.”

I gnaw on my thumb nail. The streets have begun to look familiar, and I’m getting nervous. Azriel looks slidelong at me.

“Not getting cold feet are you?”

“No,” I say quickly. Azriel smirks and turns his eyes back to the road.

And I'm not, not exactly. I don't have any qualms about taking my pantings back, but I'm suprised at how anxious being back in this neighbourhood makes me.

“Did Rhys tell you about the time we broke into the principal’s office at school and he was such a bad actor he almost wrecked the whole mission?”

“No,” I say again. A small smile finds me at the thought.

“Yeah, we were sixteen and Rhys was supposed to distract the front desk lady while me and Cassian snuck into the office. We were looking for a set of keys, see, but when we got in there, there was a whole cabinet of keys and we took ages finding the right one. I just remember trying to turn all the little tags over, and Cassian standing at the window signalling Rhys to stall.

“Anyway, Rhys is starting to sweat, he’s trying to charm this woman right, but she’s like fifty-five and not having it. And then the bloody principal walks around the corner and stops to ask what the problem seems to be.”

This is the most I’ve ever heard Azriel talk, and I’m enthralled.

“So what did he do?” I ask.

“He just starts babbling, I don’t know what he was saying but I’m hearing him chatter and then he knocks a cup of pens off the desk and when the Principal stoops to pick them up Rhys falls to the floor like he’s fainted.”

“Oh my god the drama. Did they buy it?”

“Not at all,” Az grins. “The Principal says, ‘Rhysand I don’t know what you’re playing at but you will get up off the floor this instant.’ And then I find the keys, and we wave madly at Rhys before sneaking out. Cassian strolls right in and offers to help Rhys get to the nurse, and the Principal just sighs and lets them go. Meanwhile, I was halfway down the corridor with they key in my pocket.”

“What was the key for?” I’m hooked, and the image of the three of them as teenagers is darling.

“It was to break Mor out of detention,” he said. “At that point, both me and Cass were trying to get into her pants.”

I laugh. “And did either of you succeed?” I tease.

“That, I will let you ask Morrigan.” He winks at me, and I settle back into my seat with a grin.

“We’re here,” Az says quietly, and my smile fades.

Indeed we are pulling into a street I know well, and Azriel parks the car in the shadows of a leafy tree across from Tamlin’s house. He gets out of the car and I slide into the driver’s seat, adjusting the seat and the mirror to my much shorter legs. When Az knocks on the window, I wind it down and he leans on the frame.

“I really don’t expect anything to go wrong,” he says. “But if you see Tamlin coming out, call my phone and let it ring twice. I’ve got it on vibrate. Lock the car when I’m gone, just remember to unlock it as soon as you see me coming back.”

“Okay. Just remember that there’s a door into the garage from inside the house, so he doesn’t necessarily have to come outside to get in.”

“Right. Thanks.”

“Also, there will be quite a few paintings so maybe just grab them all.” But Azriel shakes his head.

“I don’t want them to be conspicuously gone. No reason for him to come looking for them.”

“Right.” My nails are in my mouth again. “I’m not sure where in the stack they’d be. Do you need to see the photos of the ones we’re looking for?”

“Yeah may as well have another look.”

I show him, and he nods. And then he’s gone, loping off in the dark so I can barely see him even though I’m staring after him. A minute later, I don’t see him but I see the movement of the garage door. I admire how quickly he’s picked the lock.

After that, time drags. My eyes flick between the blue numbers on Azriel’s dashboard, and the shadows in the windows of Tamlin’s house.

My old house.

It’s very strange to be an outsider here. I lived in that house for three years and it was my home, too. Even if I never quite felt comfortable there.

As I’m sitting here, the car is suddenly flooded with light from behind. It goes dark again, and I turn to see Tamlin’s car pulling into the drive way.

I had seen figures in the house and assumed Tamlin was in, but of course there were always staff around. Tamlin wasn’t home- but he is now.

I swear under my breath and fumble with my phone. I dial Azriel’s number and let it ring as instructed, but it doesn’t seem like enough. I suddenly empathise with sixteen-year-old Rhys, dropping to the floor of his Principal’s office.

So I clench my teeth and dial a number I thought I’d never dial again. He picks up on the third ring.

“Feyre?”

“Hi Tamlin,” I say.

“Feyre, where are you?” He cuts the engine, and makes no further movements toward the garage.

“I’m… it doesn’t matter where I am. I’m calling because… because I heard you were looking for me.”

“Of course I’m looking for you, you just disappeared on me. I’ve been worried sick.”

It's chilling how genuinely concerned he sounds. I'm angry that I feel this tug of guilt, and remind myself that concern does not count when on a turn of a dime he could just as easily be throwing things at my head again.

“I didn’t just disappear, though," I remind him. "I told you it was over. It’s not my fault if you didn’t believe me.”

“It can’t be over, Feyre. We were engaged. That doesn’t just go away.”

I swallow, and am very glad to be alone in Azriel’s car. This is a fact I hadn’t mentioned to Rhys or any of the others. I had left the ring on Tamlin’s nightstand with a note.

“Yes, well. We’re not anymore.”

I watch Tamlin get out of the car and pace back and forth. I watch the garage door crack open.

“You’re being ridiculous,” Tamlin says. “This is all just a misunderstanding. Come home, and everything will be okay.”

“No, Tamlin,” I say. “I’m not coming back. It’s over. I’m just calling to tell you not to look for me anymore.”

Tamlin turns on his heel and walks back toward the house. Azriel takes this opportunity to slip out, closing the garage door behind him and folding into the shadows. My heart leaps into my throat.

“I will never stop looking for you,” Tamlin growls. “You belong with me.” He turns again and walks back the other way, but Azriel is nowhere to be seen. I unlock the car doors.

“Good bye, Tamlin,” I say, and although it’s a stall tactic I feel it’s a conversation that needed to be had.

“You’ll never have it so good,” Tamlin snarls. But I hang up before he can get nasty, and when Tamlin spins and throws his phone against the wall, Azriel slips into the back seat. With two canvases tucked under his arm. Tamlin gets back into his car and drives it into the garage, and Azriel and I speed off into the night.

****

See just a little heist.

MASTERLIST

TAGLIST: @ghostlyrose2 @highladysith @stardelia @feysand-loml @tillyrubes10 @ratabrasileira @live-the-fangirl-life @maybekindasortaace @annejulianneh111 @thebonecarver @rowaelinismyotp @loosingdreams @pitrsattabhaadmeinjao @achernarlight @swankii-art-teacher @sjmships @courtofjurdan @teddytdr @positivewitch @thalia-2-rose @darling-archeron @rapunzel1523 @fairchildjace @hopefulacademia @story-scribbler @fandomstalker27 @realbookloverproblems @dealfea @s-tormwitch @cretaceous-therapod @whenyadoesntcutit @scatterbrainedgirl @whoever-you-choose-to-love @endlessdaydream @themoonthestarsthesuriel @rarephloxes @timesconvert @mis-lil-red @alerialumina

[copyrightcreep]

You know the drill, all of the questions >:)

alright you evil critter. time to do the typing.

who is/are your comfort character(s)? Astarion and Karlach from bg3. space core from portal 2. Alex Danvers from supergirl. Luz and Vee from The Owl house.

lighter or matches? matches

do you leave the window open at night? sometimes. but usually, yes.

which cryptyd being do you believe in? werewolves and skinwalkers

what color are your eyes? mixture of green, blue/grey and brown

why did you do that?

hair-ties or scrunchies? hair ties

how many water bottles are in your room right now? 2. one i use for work and one for when i'm at home.

which do you prefer, hot coffee or cold coffee? hot coffee in the morning, ice coffee when relaxing

would you slaughter the rich? with much glee and different ways to do so yes.

favorite extracurricular activity? biking and people watching!

what kind of day is it? murder on the brain, pain in the limbs kinda day

when was the last time you ate? an actual meal? at 10 am. is 2 pm now.

do you love the smell of earth after it rains? yes.

are you a parent? (all answers qualify) of a bunny called Mochi. but not of human kids no.

can you drive? n o p e aha.

are you farsighted or nearsighted? near-sighted

what hair products do you use? shampoo, conditioner and a hair mask.

imagine we’re at a sleepover, would you paint my nails? if you asked. absolutely.

do you say soda or pop? f r i s d r a n k but soda in english

something you’ve kept since childhood? trauma. uh i mean. a stuffed animal i got since birth. his name is Mousey.

what type of person are you? i act very indifferent at 1st but i will flipping do anything if you get my trust. and i will share everything when safe.

how do you feel about chilly weather? love it. i can't feel cold all that well so i thrive in winter months.

if we were together on a rooftop, what would we be doing? i'd bring snacks and a nice fluffy blanket maybe a picknick. talk and eat until night and then stargaze all night

perfume/body spray or lotion? body spray

a scenario that you’ve replayed multiple times? a lotta stuff. but i'll go with my mom's death since it's most recently been on my mind.

about how many hours of sleep did you get? uh. like 6?

do you wear a mask? during covid, yes. regularly? not unless it's required for work.

how do you like your shower water? a lil shy of burning my skin off

is there dishes in your room? yepp. kinda always are

what type of music keeps you grounded? 2 types. emotional stuff i relate to. and vibey music.

do you have a favorite towel? yes, it's a white one with rainbow squares. i love it!!

the last adventure you’ve been on? probs when i was a kid running trough the forest with my siblings.

is there a song you know every word to by heart? oh boy do i. nearly every song from icon for hire, smash into pieces and a bunch from Florence + the machine

what’s your timezone? CE(S)T. the S is for Summertime

how many times have you changed your url? nada on this blog haha

someone in your life, other than a relative, you’ve known for 10+ years? no one i actively speak to. but @stephlastname comes the closest with like 7 years.

a soap bar that smells good? bars of soap elude me.

do you use lip balm? i should. but i don't

did you have any snacks today? had some chocolate snacks.

how do you take your coffee? 2 zoetjes or 1 packet of sugar and 2 milk.

an app you frequently use besides this godforsaken site? whatsapp and discord

what’s your take on spicy foods? occasionally very good. but my childhood makes it rough to enjoy them.

you get a free pass to kill anyone, who is it? Past: Hitler, Present: Putin, Personal: an old teacher who didn't 'believe' in adhd.

can you remember what happened yesterday? sorta, feels like walking trough mud to remember.

favorite holiday film? the 1st home alone

what was the last message you sent? dang right i want to!!

when did you first try an alcohol beverage? oh jeez. i tried wine when i was like 7 or 8. beer around the same time. somebody gave me a bunch of vodka when i was 17. i almost forgot the time where my mom let me drink a whole glass of bacardi cola when i was 9

can you skip rocks? NOPE. i flipping suck haha

can i tag you in random stuff? absolutely and please do!!

thanks for the askkkkkk

[tumblingxelian]

Something that makes Raven extremely fun as a character? Her initial leaving is very much structured as being about Ozpin, and for all that cowardice is an issue of hers - her asking questioning him isn't. We just meet her well after that, after she went Bandit Queen, and our first introductions are from characters who have reasons to dislike her or at least paint her in an unfavorable light even before factoring in Bandit Queen. Qrow and Taiyang for breaking up the team, Yang for leaving. Especially as uh, see previous two not mentioning that there was a large outstanding reason for Raven leaving.

Because there is a difference between not being the primary caretaker and not being part of someone's life. I think it was Raven's distrust of Ozpin and either her not telling the others or her not being listened to that actually cracked things. What made it a case of Yang staying with Taiyang/Summer/Qrow or going with Raven. Because Raven wasn't staying.

Or it actually wasn't deadbeat going to the store for milk and never coming back most likely. Why Raven left in the first place Qrow and Taiyang probably know. It's also tied up in Oz stuff so yeah no one told Yang.

The part they don't get is why Raven stayed away after Summer "died".

Which at this point has a few colorful options.

Raven betrayed Summer - and is staying away out of guilt. The boring option in my opinion.

Summer caught/about to die. Still staying away out of guilt.

Saw Summer get transformed into a Grimm Wolf. (Not incompatible with 2. Especially as breakouts would be something Raven excels at) Mercy kill, succeed fail, attempt no attempt reason to not speak from guilt and "No one will believe me" because this probably all stated with Raven questioning Ozpin and possibly finding stuff that said he was hiding things.

Summer betrayed Raven. Take the no one will believe me and dial it up. Extra juice possible in that there are ways for former Spring dying in this option to actually be truthful in it "It was mercy." Especially as in this through line Raven is less liar and more coward for not speaking up and explaining what happened. To not trust anyone to believe her.

Throw in we don't know when Raven became Bandit Queen and this can happen to someone who is more sympathetic than current Raven.

So many options right now hinging on Summer's last mission because of how it colors in the reasons for Raven being on the sidelines looking in on the daughter she bore and Summer raised.

Yeah Raven is very much interwoven with CRWBY's penchant for long form story telling. Introduced as a classic, mysterious enigma missing parent who might be heroic, might be a villain you never know.

Then revealed to seemingly be a small minded, self destructive cowardly bandit whose smart but so desperate and selfish she is always left grasping at straws and running away. (With the Ozpin and leaving stuff being woven in between the two)

Then V9 swerves in and reveals she left because she felt she'd make a bad parent and is still helping with missions and that something seemingly broke her there.

All while leaving us with more questions like said mission, Spring, Summer, bandits and so many others!

Excellent breakdown on the various options there too, kudos and thanks for sharing! (Agreed on the first one being boring too, give us some spice CRWBY :D)

[6m0on6]

Pairing : Steve Harrington x Eddie Munson. just eds and stevie talking (a lot, sorry i really like fics with lots of dialogues) after the event of season 4, and pining ˘͈ᵕ˘͈

i have a whole story on my mind about this fic, but I really don’t know if I’m gonna write it out… I really wanted to share this start tho so !! Hope you like it ♡

I apologize if there’s any mistakes! English is not my native language

≈950 words

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The door was closed. A crumpled paper hung on the glass between the white painted wood of it :”NO LONGER RECRUITING”.

Great, Eddie thought. Seems like the 15 minutes walk to the store and the 30 minutes argument with his uncle behind it was totally worth it.

Not that Wayne didn’t want his nephew to have a job- far from it- but only 2 weeks passed since Eddie’s name has been cleared by the police , and perhaps it wasn’t the brightest idea to work at Family Video, most recognized video store right in the middle of Hawkins.

The metalhead felt his leather and denim jacket combo growing heavy on his already sweated chest, and feeling the results of the 4 hours of sleep he managed to get the night before, he squatted down on his dirty white rebooks. He could feel the sun burning through the top of his exposed head, making it spins. He passed a hand over the warm curls there and sighed.

Maybe it’s for the best.

The stares and the whispers when he passed by was the most bearable, but the insults and attempted assaults weren’t his most cherished experiences.

He remembered that one time his uncle sent him to the grocery store - they were running out of milk - and some green jacket wearing dude he recognized was from the school’s basketball team started making a scene in front of everyone about how he “killed Chrissy” and “deserved to pay for it” before starting to swing, thankfully being stopped soon enough by the salesman who took no time in kicking him out. Not the best memory he has.

“Munson ?”

He hated them all, the people in here. So having to be all nice and polite with them all day working a last resort job ?

“Hey, Munson…”

Yeah no, it’s definitely for the best.

“Eddie !”

frowning in confusion and tiredness, he turned to the familiar voice pulling him out of his thoughts.

“What the hell are you doing down here ?”

“Harrington ?”

“It’s like, 10 in the morning dude”

Before Eddie could say anything, he saw steve pulling out keys from the back pocket of his light blue Levi’s and walked past him to unlock the door. Wait. Huh ?

“Huh ?”

- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -

“Wait so like… since when ?”

“I’ve been working here since before all the Vecna stuff happened man” Eddie listened attentively, legs crossed on one of the chairs in front of the counter where Steve was organizing his tapes. “Rob and me needed a new job after the starcourt mall burned last year. I mean couldn’t sell ice creams for the rest of our lives anyway”.

“Robin too?” The metalhead blinked. “Okay why am I always the uninformed one ?” He put his hand on his chest dramatically . “After everything we’ve been through together you can’t even take the time to tell me even the dumbest shit ?”

Steve sighed, repressing the smirk that started to form on his face. “You’ll recover, now what do you want ?” His hands went to his hips, making him look like a mom grounding her kid.

Eddie snorted at the sudden serious tone and glare. “As much I love to bother you Stevie, you’re not the one I was expecting to see first thing in the morning when I came here”

Stevie.

He rolled his eyes.

“Okay then why are you here ?” The younger man raised his eyebrows in question, bending with his elbows on the counter and his head between his hands. “As you can see, Rob isn’t here yet”

Eddie got up from the couch, making his way towards Steve.

“I’m looking for a job actually. Saw last week that y’all were recruiting but guess you don’t need me anymore” it was his turn to bend over on the counter, now inches away from Steve’s face, who felt uneasy at the proximity. But he didn’t move. He couldn’t.

a wide grin that screamed Eddie was slowly making his way to his face.

“Drugs don’t really pay off anymore huh ?” His voice was low, eyes squinting and eyebrows frowing in fake empathy.

Eddie couldn’t stop the chuckle that escaped his lips “yeah, as surprising as it seems, not many people want to buy from the freak, and now the killer, anymore” he said, pouting for the dramatic effect.

seconds passed. It felt like forever.

Steve found himself gazing over Eddie’s whole face, catching all the little details. Did he always have freckles ? It must be because of the sun.

“Ahem” Eddie coughed, catching Steve off guard, reminding him of where he was and what he was doing. His cheeks heated to form red up his cheekbones and he cringed at himself. Looking away, he said the first thing that came to his mind to break the awkward silence.

“You look tired” he simply said, referencing to the dark circles which hanged from Eddie’s big brown eyes. “You ‘kay ?”

The metalhead, who backed up from the counter and were now looking down at Steve, hesitated.

“nightmares.”

At his word, the younger man’s head snapped back at the older one.

He looked up at him with soft eyes, and Eddie felt the instant understanding trough it. If there was someone out here who would understand what he was going through, it would be Harrington.

Eddie’s eyes left Steve’s face, looking down. Almost ashamed of what he was saying. His voice was above a whisper. “Does it get better ?”

Steve put on his best reassuring smile.

“A little.” he said.

At that moment, the door swung open, Robin appearing at the front door.

When she spotted them together, she grinned instantly

“Hey weirdos” she closed the door behind her. “What are you doing here eds?”

“Sorry, I just couldn’t wait to see you my dear”

She laughed, a wide grin spreading across her face.

[eddieheart]

WORKING

(Part 2)

Fandom: Prodigal Son

Pairings: NONE

Words: 785

Description: After Bright accidentally gets high Dani is tasked with babysitting him. She gets to experience both Bright and Aria’s morning routine.

Part One: little-one

Dani woke up that morning with a crick in her neck and a chip on her shoulder.

She couldn't believe Gil had sent her to babysit Bright. Sure she'd made a mistake going to see Estamé, but she knew he didn't do this.

Dealing with Bright had been a task, to say the least. Getting him to bed had been easy enough, when he was passed out that is.

"Morning, Coffee?" Malcolm asked as she raised her head, stretching.

"I'm good." Dani waved off her coworker and straightened her posture where she sat.

"How'd you sleep?" He asked with a smile.

"On a counter." Dani deadpanned in return. She watched Malcolm use his French press, it was quite soothing.

"Why is my jaw killing me?" Malcolm smirked slightly as he poured himself a cup of coffee.

Dani looked to the ground nervously, glancing between the young man and the floor.

"I punched you." She responded timidly.

"It worked, I slept for five hours. I should have you slug me every night." Malcolm laughed and a weight lifted off of her shoulders. Thank god he wasn't mad at her.

Malcolm was about to say something but the soft pitter patter of footsteps filled the room before he could. A small girl walked into the kitchen, blanket in hand.

As soon as her gaze fell to Malcolm she ran forward. He knelt down so the small girl could run directly into his arms and in one fell swoop he lifted her into the air, spun her around and kissed the top of her head.

"Mamorning daddy!" The little girl called out from in between her father’s arms.

"Good morning Ari." Malcolm chuckled out, face in the young girl’s hair.

"Mamorning Shunshine, Mamorning Ms. Dani. Did you sleep over last night? Daddy was so quiet, I almost forgot to wake up." She asked the question so innocently that Dani couldn't help but chuckle to herself.

"I did." Dani had never been great with kids, but she really was trying.

Malcolm held the small girl in his arms and carried her around the island, sitting her into one of the stools. Walking over to the fridge he pulled out milk and poured Aria a glass.

"Time for pills Daddy!" She cheered at the older man.

Dani cocked her head to the side, she couldn't have been more than five, what pills was she on? She watched Malcolm take a seat beside the young girl, garish bottles lined up in front of each of them.

"I take my pills, she takes her vitamins. She likes to do it together." Malcolm gave her an almost embarrassed smile as Dani watched the two take medication almost in unison.

Aria took a big swig of milk before turning to her dad and painting at a small stack of cards.

"Can Dani pick the card today?" She asked.

"I don't know, Dani do you want to pick the card?" Malcolm asked with small smile.

"Umm... sure." She reached out a hand, grabbed the first card and flipped it over.

"You have to read out loud Ms. Dani, that's how you learn!" She chuckled softly at the young girl's enthusiasm.

"Okay, your perspective is unique. It's important and it counts." She handed the note over to the small girl, she read it aloud Malcolm helping her pronounce words.

Dani watched them do yoga and say goodbye to sunshine before they were all on their way out. When they got to the precinct Malcolm got to work leaving Gil in charge of Aria.

Gil was filing paper work, it was almost lunch time which usually meant Aria was asking about food. Oddly enough today Gil didn't hear anything. He sighed and rubbed his face, looking up he searched for the small girl but she was no where to be seen.

"Shit." Gil bolted up from his chair and began searching around the precinct.

Just when he's lost all hope he heard a faint giggle come from an interrogation room. It couldn’t be... could it? Walking into the adjoining room Gil looked through the two way glass with a sense of irony, of course she was in an interrogation room, like father like daughter.

Aria was sitting in the chair across from a suspect. Her arms crossed over the table, hands folded. She looked into the man's eyes and spoke with all seriousness.

"Murder gets you in time out for twenty five years, that's a really long time. My daddy says to always tell the truth. Maybe if you tell the truth you won't be in timeout for so long." She smiled sweetly at the man.

your perspective is unique. It's important and it counts. -Glenn close

Part 3:

@buggylad thanks for editing

[ergwcava4002]

Placement Day 4: Friday 6th October 2023

On my fourth day of Placement, I was meant to be helping out with the “How to be an Art Critic” workshop. Veronica, the new Events Coordinator and Programmer at Verge had emailed me earlier in the week about what time the workshop starts, but I didn’t know what time to arrive to start my day of placement. So, I arrived 30 minutes prior to the Workshop starting, because I arrived 30 minutes prior to the NAVA Workshop starting, on my 1st day of Placement. Though when I arrived at 11.30am, the gallery was already completely set up for the workshop.

Anthia asked me to assist with getting the tea and coffee table set up. She sent me to Laneway Café to get milk for the event, so I took Tesha’s USU Card to get coffee.

After we got the tea and coffee snack table ready, I looked around the gallery. The “USU Creative Awards 2023” opened on Tuesday 3/10/23, and this was my first time seeing the show fully installed and open to the public. As I waited for the Workshop to start, I looked around at the gallery.

I shadowed Richard as he rewired the electrical for the light work on the shelf on Placement Day 3.

I got the projector on this light work up and running on Placement Day 2.

I originally painted this wall of Placement Day 2 and calked the walls and repainted them on Placement Day 3.

I pained these walls on Placement Day 2.

Just before the Workshop started the facilitators of the How to be an Art Critic panel came into the gallery to prepare. It was so nice to see them both. Simon Harris who is USU’s Pulp Magazine editor was one of them, and they were in my Bachelor of Visual Arts Undergraduate course in 2021. It was really nice catching up with them and hearing what they’ve been up to because I haven’t seen them since before the 2021 lockdown. Simon is doing some really cool and professional stuff as the editor of Pulp Magazine. The other facilitator of the workshop’s panel was Nick Croggon from the University of Sydney’s Power Institute. I worked with him last year at a collaborative writing workshop he (and the Power Institute) facilitated with Honi Soit. The workshop was called “Art In Place: Spine”. The participants in this workshop had to respond to D Harding’s Spine series that is displayed on the University of Sydney’s Camperdown campus. It was such a special workshop for me and my practice, because it was the last time, I got to work with one of my mentors at the University of Sydney, Dr. Stephen Gilchrist, before he left Sydney. Anyway, Nick and I caught up and I heard what he has been up to recently. We also spoke about his baby who is now no longer a newborn (they grow up so fast).

https://honisoit.com/2022/08/art-in-place-1-students-respond-to-d-hardings-spine/

The “How to Write about Art” Workshop/ panel consisted of Arts writers and workers Neha Kale, Mariam Arcilla and Toni Ross. The Workshop was absolutely fantastic and drew a lot of people.

Here are some notes I took during the panel, when they were asked how they write about art in a review context: TONI ROSS:

how do you enter a space writing for art

is it a group show is it a solo show

political art

how much i know about it and if i don’t know enough about political sphere

work facts measurements type of work

i look v closest at the material dimension the media all the aesthetically dimensions

experiencing art is sensory and conceptual

material details

NEHA KALE:

wander around

want to know if the works are making feel something

not purely intellectual

what’s it trying to say or provoke

is it meeting the parameters around

reading context around

i don’t know if i understand ur

important thing is having something to say

if u have nothing to say it’s not critical writing

MARIAM ARCILLA:

multiple visits. different day time etc

how would this work captivate me if i was someone else

not me to write universally

how does it have a conversation w the public

go into the works world: research w Tv movies etc pop media

Random notes:

completion for visibility

there’s fewer ppl waiting about it in AUS

as an artist if ur art speaks for ur self don’t comment ?

After the panel I waited to assist with the after-panel pack/ clean up.

During this time I spoke to Veronica, who is Verge’s newest team member. I didn’t know this, but she is in her 4th week at Verge and took over Morgan Hogg’s role as Events Programmer and Coordinator. Prior to working at Verge she was a Creative Producer at Utp in Bankstown, for 3 years. Veronica has a Bachelor's degree in Art Theory and Theatre & Performance, which she had to pay for out of pocket when she first started because she was an international student.

As people cleared out, we began to pack up. I had to leave at 2.30pm because I had a doctors appointment, so I didn’t really get any photographs because Anthia, Veronica and myself were rushing so I could get out of there in time. They are honestly so sweet and so kind for this. I was really stressed out because I had to go to the doctors before the weekend to fill my prescription and they were hustling to help me. I am so glad I got a chance to undertake my placement at Verge Gallery, it is such a nuturing and relaxed professional gallery and team. This only photo I did get:

To clean up we had to:

Pack up stools attendees sat on

Wires and tape

Speakers

Sound boards

Snack table and any rubbish

As well as return the chairs the panellists sat on (Image Above)

Anthia and I returned the chairs to the top floor of the Wentworth Building. I got an opportunity to speak to Anthia about what she does at Verge. Anthia studied a Bachelor of Arts in Art History, Criticism and Conservation, which she finished last year. She started at Verge in her first year of university as a volunteer. Eventually becoming a casual employee at Verge. In the past year she has been promoted to Art Collection and Curatorial Assistant, which she does full time.

When we got back to Verge, I assisted Anthia with packing away the wires and electronics into Verge’s storeroom.

Before I left I confirmed with Tesha what time I should be at Verge on my 5th and final day of Placement, which will be Thursday 19/10/23, the awards night of the "USU Creative Awards 2023".

[partnersrelief]

The numbers are in.

Photo: Children outside the mobile hospital you supported in Syria after the earthquake.

1.

132,613

is the number of people you helped in the aftermath of the devastating earthquake in Turkey and Syria, Karah. 46,403 is the number of people you provided food to. 9,994 is the number of people you brought medical assistance to. Numbers alone don’t tell the full story of each individual helped. But they do give us reason to celebrate the collective impact of our community. Thank you for responding rapidly to this crisis with love in action.

2.

Last week

we shared Saw De Htoo’s story. Now meet some of the hero health workers running these clinics. Earlier this year our team ran refresher trainings for 55 health staff as, well as delivering medicine to the clinics they run. So when more kids like Saw De Htoo are sick, they’ll be ready and waiting to help.

Photos: Training and monitoring the village health worker team.

3.

Double

the reasons to support our ongoing response to families affected by Cyclone Mocha. A generous friend of Partners is matching all donations to our emergency relief fund! As a member of our monthly giving community, you already help fuel our relief efforts getting critical food, medicine and shelter to communities in crisis. But if you'd like to reach even more families left extremely vulnerable after losing their homes, livelihoods and loved ones, your additional gift will be matched for twice the impact.

4. 

Water

is life in any community. But when we asked this community in conflict-affected Kachin State, Myanmar what their most immediate problem was, access to clean water was absolutely number one. Watch what they did to solve this.

5.

One graph

speaks volumes. This is the cumulative number of airstrikes recorded since the Myanmar Military coup in February 2021.

This trajectory is why our work is more important than ever.

Source: The Telegraph (warning: contains disturbing content)

6.

Summer

is here (for our northern hemisphere friends) so enjoy this delicious icy Thai treat, Itim Kati, brought to you by The Longest Table.

Ingredients

350ml coconut milk (freshly squeezed if available) 1 teaspoon vanilla ice cream powder 1 tablespoon whipping cream 7 tablespoons sugar Salt Peanuts to garnish

Instructions

Place all ingredients in a blender. Blend until homogeneous. Taste to get the desired sweetness. Reduce and add sugar as needed. Pour into container, close lid and put it in the freezer for 4 hours. After freezing, bring it out to blend until smooth. Then put it back in the freezer for another 6 hours.

We love sharing numbers that paint a picture of your impact. But even more so, imagining the smile on the face of each child your love has reached. Thank you for going above and beyond, month after month, for them to live a free, full life.

Your friends at Partners.

[piooo]

An anti-aging product that I'm willing to pay for! Can't live without them.

I want to say something before we begin!

Did you do your sunscreen today?

I will remind you regularly!! Supervise you!

The 28-year-old aunt continued to chat with everyone about my daily skincare routine

Also a fan wish, she wants to see the anti-aging series!

Then I will make my wish!! I'll do my best to give my sisters what they want

Depends on the products in my house! Enough!

This time there is a little too much, still can't finish! See you next time!

Some of them are my best friends who have been with me for years! Some of them are recent new toys!

Are personal feelings, sisters can do reference!

Here's the lesson:

1. Xu Sanduo Yuewei essence, the cream of the halo submerged by milk, I usually squeeze three pumps as water, painted face and neck, there are a lot of small particles, is wrapped in retinol, but the whole use warm and warm! Punch an empty bottle, say the truth, can feel the naked eye face full, change elastic run! Luster on a lost! Special run, now can not hold, dissuade big oil skin and mixed oil skin! Save it for autumn and winter

2. Expensive but easy to use Repachi Eye Cream! I'm going to keep an eye on it! This is my second can. I remember using it last year and my eyes were in good condition! Full and no lines! The ones that have no wrinkles in their smile! Always be tense! Back for other eye cream, direct rebound!! So I plan to stay with him forever! Use the old! And the texture is lovely, the texture of ice cream, no oil, no eye pulling! The 20ml capacity can be used for half a year! The budget is enough. You won't get lost

3. VIICODE eye Mask to sleep on! At present I have no stripes, should also have its credit! But eliminate dark circles and puffiness I really can! Let's say I have to stay up late tonight and sleep through the night! It won't turn into a blister! Will change a lot of spirit! Although there are dark circles but not obvious, not to face can not see ha! Fit ok! Turn over and over and it won't fall off! Although the habit of staying up late can not be changed, but use it regularly to consolidate, maintain the condition of the eyes at 20 years old! It's expensive, but it's worth it!

4. Spanish sea pearl Inno little golden egg! Few people know! When I used it in nineteen nineteen, it was almost five bottles empty! It was a stressful time to work! The face fell down! It's a long story. When I got to a bottle and a half, I found my whole face lifted up. Tighten! The contours of the face are there! Pulling the face is a tight state! I don't have a decree, but after my mother used one bottle, the decree got lighter! That's why it's recommended to beat Face and the streaked sisters

5. Light line essence suitable for neck lines and hair lines! Apply locally, not all over the face! Paint where there are lines! I don't have a decree, so I don't have a say! But I tried it on my forehead and neck for a month later! The few furrows on the forehead I watched slowly to brace up! Although the forehead will still appear, but usually do not do expression is basically invisible! There was also a small gully on the neck, which is now a small line! What a surprise!

An anti-aging product that I'm willing to pay for! Can't live without them.

I want to say something before we begin!

Did you do your sunscreen today?

I will remind you regularly!! Supervise you!

The 28-year-old aunt continued to chat with everyone about my daily skincare routine

Also a fan wish, she wants to see the anti-aging series!

Then I will make my wish!! I'll do my best to give my sisters what they want

Depends on the products in my house! Enough!

This time there is a little too much, still can't finish! See you next time!

Some of them are my best friends who have been with me for years! Some of them are recent new toys!

Are personal feelings, sisters can do reference!

Here's the lesson:

1. Xu Sanduo Yuewei essence, the cream of the halo submerged by milk, I usually squeeze three pumps as water, painted face and neck, there are a lot of small particles, is wrapped in retinol, but the whole use warm and warm! Punch an empty bottle, say the truth, can feel the naked eye face full, change elastic run! Luster on a lost! Special run, now can not hold, dissuade big oil skin and mixed oil skin! Save it for autumn and winter

2. Expensive but easy to use Repachi Eye Cream! I'm going to keep an eye on it! This is my second can. I remember using it last year and my eyes were in good condition! Full and no lines! The ones that have no wrinkles in their smile! Always be tense! Back for other eye cream, direct rebound!! So I plan to stay with him forever! Use the old! And the texture is lovely, the texture of ice cream, no oil, no eye pulling! The 20ml capacity can be used for half a year! The budget is enough. You won't get lost

3. VIICODE eye Mask to sleep on! At present I have no stripes, should also have its credit! But eliminate dark circles and puffiness I really can! Let's say I have to stay up late tonight and sleep through the night! It won't turn into a blister! Will change a lot of spirit! Although there are dark circles but not obvious, not to face can not see ha! Fit ok! Turn over and over and it won't fall off! Although the habit of staying up late can not be changed, but use it regularly to consolidate, maintain the condition of the eyes at 20 years old! It's expensive, but it's worth it!

4. Spanish sea pearl Inno little golden egg! Few people know! When I used it in nineteen nineteen, it was almost five bottles empty! It was a stressful time to work! The face fell down! It's a long story. When I got to a bottle and a half, I found my whole face lifted up. Tighten! The contours of the face are there! Pulling the face is a tight state! I don't have a decree, but after my mother used one bottle, the decree got lighter! That's why it's recommended to beat Face and the streaked sisters

5. Light line essence suitable for neck lines and hair lines! Apply locally, not all over the face! Paint where there are lines! I don't have a decree, so I don't have a say! But I tried it on my forehead and neck for a month later! The few furrows on the forehead I watched slowly to brace up! Although the forehead will still appear, but usually do not do expression is basically invisible! There was also a small gully on the neck, which is now a small line! What a surprise!

[davidalmeida]

Preparation for Parenthood

(From January 1999, saved from a hilarious multi-forwarded email that was ‘making the rounds.’)

Preparation for parenthood is not just a matter of reading books and decorating the nursery.  Here are 12 simple tests for expectant parents to take to prepare themselves for the real life experience of being a mother or father.

1) (Women) To prepare for maternity, put on a dressing gown and stick a beanbag chair down the front.  Leave it there for nine months. After nine months, remove 10% of the beans.

2) (Men) To prepare for paternity, go to the local drug store, tip the contents of your wallet on the counter, and tell the pharmacist to help himself.  Then go to the supermarket.  Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.  Go home.  Pick up the paper and read it for the last time.

3) Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who are already parents and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, apallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their children to run riot.  Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.  Enjoy it--it's the last time in your life that you will have all of the answers.

4) To discover how the nights feel, walk around the living room from 5pm till 10pm carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds. At 10pm put the bag down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep. Get up at 12am and walk around the living room again with the bag, until 1am. Put the alarm on for 3am.  As you can't go back to sleep, get up at 2am and make a drink. Go to bed at 2:45am. Get up again at 3am when the alarm goes off.  Sing songs in the dark till 4am.  Put the alarm on for 5am. Get up. Make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years.  Look cheerful.

5) Can you stand the mess children make?  To find out, smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.  Hide a fish stick behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.  Stick your fingers in the flower beds then rub them on the clean walls.  Cover the stains with crayons.  There, how does that look?

6) Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.  First buy an octopus and a string bag.  Attempt to put the octopus into the string bag so that none of the arms hang out.  Time allowed for this: all morning.

7) Take an egg carton.  Using a pair of scissors and a can of paint, turn it into an alligator.  Now take a toilet paper tube. Using only scotch tape and a piece of foil, turn it into a Christmas tree. Last, take a milk container, a ping pong ball, and an empty packet of Coco Puffs and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower. Congratulations, you have just qualified for a place on the play group committee.

8) Forget the Miata and buy the minivan.  And don't think you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining.  Family cars don't look like that. Buy a chocolate ice cream bar and put it in the glove compartment.  Leave it there. Get a quarter. Stick it in the cassette player. Take a family-size bag of chocolate cookies. Mash them down the back seats. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There! Perfect!

9) Get ready to go out. Wait outside the toilet for half an hour. Go out the front door. Come in again. Go out. Come back in. Go out again. Walk down the front path. Walk back up it again. Walk down it again. Walk very slowly down the road for 5 minutes. Stop to inspect minutely every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way. Retrace your steps. Scream that you've had as much as you can stand until all of the neighbors come out and stare at you. Give up and go back in the house. You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

10) Always repeat everything you say at least five times. Go to your local supermarket. Take with you the nearest thing you can find to a pre-school child. A fully grown goat is excellent. If you intend to have more than one child, take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goats eat or destroy. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

11) Hollow out a melon. Make a small hole in the side. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side. Now get a bowl of soggy Froot Loops and attempt to spoon it into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane. Continue until half of the Froot Loops are gone. Tip the rest into your lap, making sure that a lot them fall on the floor. You are now ready to feed a 12-month-old child.

12) Learn the names of every character from Barney, Sesame Street, and Power Rangers.  When you find yourself singing, "I love you, you love me" at work, now you finally qualify as a parent!