#alcohol and drug problems

[joeey-dee]

Do you have any Oliver headcannons? /gen

Yes, so many… don’t even know where to start, lol. 

Most are pre-Gambit, and who he was before. The show gave us very little information and what they did give us was a bit contradictory or the sources weren’t that reliable; the press, Oliver himself. And I know this statement probably seems a bit strange, how can Oliver not be a reliable source about his past? Well, it’s very simple, Oliver has a very negative view of himself, he also has the tendency to shoulder the blame for everything and twist and turn events around in his mind until he found a version of events that would make him the bad guy and solely responsible for all the bad that happened to people he cared about. 

This is shown very well during that scene by the fire with Sara on Lian Yu, when he apologizes to her and he pretty much tells her if it weren’t for him, she wouldn’t be there. This scene also brings something else with it that makes me appreciate it and Sara a lot, because different than most people in his life, Sara points out how ridiculous the notion that he is responsible for her being on Lian Yu with him is, that he did not force her, and that he wasn’t even the main reason why she joined him on the Gambit. That she is responsible for her own choices and the consequences that came with them. 

And even though, she „absolves“ him of his guilt, Oliver never stopped blaming himself and feeling responsible for what happened to Sara. Coming home and having people put all the blame back on him again didn’t help the situation.

So, the way Oliver sees the person he was pre-Gambit is not objective because the people in his life act as if he had been horrible, but the few flashbacks we got, some of the stories we got, show something different. Sure he made some serious mistakes, he was pretty much out of control (might not have been had his parents parented more instead of letting him get away with anything and everything and made things go away by throwing money at the situation instead of trying to find out why Oliver was acting the way he was. It worked with Thea, once Moira stepped up, Thea acted out less.) 

If you asked me, and this is one of my major head canons which pretty much bleeds into all of my stories, Oliver was already having serious mental issues before the Gambit. Mentally stable, and healthy people who literally have the world at their feet and all the opportunities there are, do not get drunk to the point of punching a paparazzo or peeing on a cop regularly. They do not sabotage a seemingly perfect relationship by cheating repeatedly. They do not throw their life away and waste their potential, and Oliver had a lot, he is highly intelligent.

I think the partying and drinking was both an escape and a cry for help.

I personally think Oliver was the poster child of the upper echelon that we see so often in the magazines or on TV. The ones most people are envious of because they believe simply by having been born into such a privileged world their lives are perfect. Yet, what most of us never see or consider is the pressure and expectations that come with that privilege or in Oliver’s case last name. To me it appeared he had no say or control over his life and future, he didn’t want to work for QC, but it was clear to his parents that he would. He didn’t seem to enjoy school or actually want to get a college education, he dropped out of four, yet he was forced to get one. It’s a juxtaposition he was in, on the one hand the sky was the limit, there was nothing he couldn’t do, because he owned more money than most people can even wrap their heads around and money can open a lot of doors that otherwise would stay shut, Oliver also seems to be a thrill seeker and that is a dangerous combination. I’d say, it is a pretty fair assessment that Oliver didn’t just drink a lot but also used drugs. Again, going by what I know about that societal class, it’s not difficult to believe that drugs were easy to come by at those parties. On the other hand, he was trapped in a life and a future he didn’t want; going to college, taking over QC. I think that can really mess with you. 

Oliver is also a bit of a people pleaser and he hates to hurt people and he also really doesn’t like confrontation or talking about his feelings. Which I think played a huge part in the issues he and Laurel ended up having. Plus when he did actually share his feelings, she didn’t take them seriously. 

What always bothers me is the way people act as if Oliver is a horrible person, which just shows me they obviously haven’t tried to see his side of the story, which just boggles my mind since the show is supposedly his story. Oliver is such a troubled and misunderstood person, but like Raisa said, he was a good boy, with a good heart, and that never changed. Oliver has a heart of gold and he just wants to see the people he loves happy and to help where he can. 

I trust Raisa and Thea’s view on pre-Gambit Oliver a lot more than Oliver’s. And yes, Thea’s might have to be taken with a small grain of salt too, because she was so young, he was her big bro and she idolized him, but would she have idolized him if he had been a bad big brother? I doubt it, and I think the way he treated Thea, made her a priority in his life even with their almost ten year age difference says a lot about the kind of person and older brother he was. 

Thank you so much for that question, I hope I answered it, not sure since I feel I got a little off track and it turned more into a ramble, sorry about that. If not, don’t hesitate to send another question, or if you want specifics, just ask and I try to answer them as well as I can. But one of my major head canons is that Oliver has always been a good guy, even before the Gambit, he was just troubled and struggling.

[ink-the-artist]

truly not trying to detract from the very russian art of the generational trauma wolves, and i know the colors are from the ussr + russia flags, but it also spoke to me as a hispanic person. especially w respect to misogyny and how machismo tears families apart, and how trauma that comes from outside the family units gets repeated/expressed within the family unit. idk.

absolutely it applies to more than just russians, im glad it speaks to other ppl :)

[dylanconrique]

"it's like penguins. penguins, in nature, when one is sick, or when one is very injured, the other penguins surround it and prop it up. they walk around it until that penguin can walk on it's own. that's kind of what the cast did for me." — matthew perry about his fellow friends.

[straightlightyagami]

my partner thinks alcohol is not a drug but caffeine and sugar are ?? two of those are drugs and he is wrong about which ones

[cerise-on-top]

Hello, how was your week? I hope you’re doing well! And it’s completely okay if not because it is a sensitive topic, but could you please write ghost with a S/O who has a drug addiction?

Hey there! I had an interesting week, to say the least! Not bad, though! It's been very freeing! Thank you!

Ghost with a Drug Addict S/O

If we go off of canon, then Ghost has had a drug addict in his life before, his brother Tommy. Canonically speaking, he did help his brother out and did support him, so why wouldn’t he do the same for you? Sure, he won’t be particularly happy about it, but he’ll support you. He’ll calmly talk to you about it, ask you what you want to do and where you see yourself in the future. If you’re already aware you have a problem? Good, then that doesn’t need to be addressed. Ghost is patient, if he needs to talk to you about it several times to make you realize you have a problem, he will. He won’t judge you in the slightest, he won’t give you unsolicited advice either, but he will make the suggestion that you might want to try rehab. You’re probably aware that drugs aren’t good for you and he’ll support you through it. Yes, he’ll even fund your rehab, but he’s going to be sort of controlling about it to make sure he’s not funding your addiction. However, he will make his boundaries clear: He’s likely not going to cover for you too many times if you miss work or school. If he did then he’d be shielding you from the consequences, making you feel as though there aren’t any. You’re more than welcome to ask him for help, he’ll do what he can to be of use to you, but he’ll also be firm. He’s well aware that your addiction likely stems from something. Maybe a mental health problem or maybe you were around the wrong crowd. Either way, he’ll be addressing those problems alongside your drug addiction. If he didn’t then you’d likely just fall back into old, bad habits. He won’t be mad at you or be disappointed if you relapse, it’s not that unlikely, after all, but he’ll try his best to get back on track. The most important part is that you need to talk to him. You need to want to get better or else he can’t help you. He’s not going to abandon you because he loves you and knows that an addiction is always hard to overcome, but please take his hand. He just wants to help you. Please communicate with him whatever it is you may need him to do. Another thing he’s going to do is find a bunch of new hobbies for you. You wanna go to the gym with him? You wanna take up knitting? You wanna get into baking? He’s gonna be with you during those times as well. He’s well aware you need something non-triggering to distract yourself with, and he’s more than happy to find something nice and calming for you to engage in. And I do also believe that he would try to reinforce positive behavior by rewarding you as well. Overall, he’d be a very supportive partner to have.

[d3athanddecay1]

Why is it such a big deal for me to just stab myself through the heart

[yuri-for-businesswomen]

some of yall should consider unlearning your superiority complex regarding drugs for real. you can talk about the issues with drugs from production to trade, addiction and social consequences without demonising individual drug users. if you want to be supportive of homeless, mentally ill, prostituted, traumatised and otherwise marginalised women - who obviously are not all on drugs but might be at a higher risk - you cant go around and scream about how evil they are for struggling with addiction and substance abuse.

a lot of people with substance abuse issues have started young and often have a family history of drug and alcohol abuse. and if this is the case for you and you didnt develop addiction - congratulations, good for you. if you could just turn addiction on and off, a lot of people would be a lot happier, but fact is that most people with addiction will relapse even if they try going sober, and guilt just makes it more difficult to stop.

if i have to see one more feminist comparing drug use to watching porn i will go feral. porn is harmful to the people in it and women as a group, drugs are primarily self harm. which is an issue but not a moral failure. a lot of porn consumption is literally getting off on violence, the product is the harm done to others, meanwhile buying drugs - like many other products under capitalism - is supporting a system that sadly exploits the most vulnerable without enacting or even engaging with violence yourself. and additionally, a lot of women exploited by the sex industry are on drugs. now what? they are the same as porn consumers? fuck off.

of course it is unethical to buy drugs when it directly supports gang violence, and i understand that someone whose home and people they know have been destroyed by drug use or the drug trade doesnt have the patience for drug users, but its also extremely oversimplified to think these issues will be solved if people just stopped buying drugs. 

blaming drug users for gang members raping and murdering women as a feminist is fucking wild. a woman smoking a joint is responsible for a gang member sexually assaulting another woman? like okay. people also dont need chocolate or coffee which is produced under infamously exploitative conditions with no regard for human rights, should people stop buying that also, or is it more useful to the workers to establish fair trade and urge governments to force corporations to adhere to human and workers rights? what good is it to coca farmers to demonise drug users when gang violence is a result of systemic destabilisation of governments and poverty in production countries as well as the war on drugs, which is directly supported by the demonisation and stigmatisation of addicts?

and dont get me started on gendered aspects of gang violence and how masculinity and machismo play into it. if gangs dont sell drugs, they go more into human and sex trafficking, weapons, and other shit, as long as corruption and poverty are not alleviated. the local drug dealer is also just trying to get by and make cash in a rigged system.

in my humble opinion, legalisation of production, trade and consumption would help both the regions where its produced and the people affected and exploited in the drug trade as well as addicts because a fair trade, workers rights and unions and so on could be established, and money saved on persecuting drug dealers and users could go into rehabilitation programs, and taxes could be used to support everyone involved. resources wasted on the war on drugs could be used to fight remaining gang activity. and so on!

drug use in dedicated places and moderation just like alcohol is not the issue, the issues are one: the production and trade, which is illegalised and criminalised and because of this in the hands of brutal gangs (while other products under capitalism are in the hands of unregulated corporations who care as much about human rights and dignity as gangs do); and two: addiction and other consequences of substance abuse like lowered inhibitions and the link to domestic abuse and other violence, which is also not helped when drug users are stigmatised and buying drugs is criminalised.

i completely understand if you personally take issue and voice criticism of buying drugs especially towards privileged westerners as someone from a country of production, all im asking is some more nuance and as a feminist, compassion with women who have substance abuse issues. no need to coddle anyones feelings, but most addicts - especially women - already feel bad about struggling with addiction and frankly dont need women telling them what a terrible person they are for it, or be told they are just like people who get off on sexual violence.

[envolvenuances]

and I think child modelling should be illegal I'm not even joking

[goodbyemaryjane]

10 things I learned from 10 months of sobriety

(in no particular order)

1. Feelings can't hurt me as long as I don't do anything self destructive to make them go away. They'll pass - like clouds blowing over the sky.

2. Everything good that I thought being drunk and high helped me do - socializing at parties, making art, emotional intimacy - I'm actually better at when I'm sober.

3. Getting intoxicated was a shortcut (a maladaptive coping mechanism) to silence my self-criticism and shame.

4. It caused more problems than it solved.

5. What I really needed was to practice self compassion and let myself be vulnerable with others sober. Scary, but the rewards are great.

6. If I satisfy my loneliness by getting drunk and high, I will be too busy with my addiction to seek out real love or accept it when it comes. I feel lonely for a reason; if I just keep numbing the hunger, I'll starve.

7. I have to take all of the energy I may spend wishing for others to change for me and just change myself.

8. Withdrawals were uncomfortable but my fear of them was much worse. When I look back, I felt more joy and relief in the first few days than pain. Like swimming in the ocean: once I stopped struggling and just let the current pull me under and toss me around, trusting that eventually I would be pushed to the surface, I knew I would be alright no matter how strange and sick I felt. It was such a relief to stop fighting what I knew deep down was right and true: that I had to quit today - not tomorrow, not in a week - or I'd be using for the rest of my life.

9. Denial is a powerful and terrifying thing. Nobody is too smart to be an addict. If anything, it makes you better at coming up with excuses.

10. At some point you will be more afraid of staying the same forever than you are of changing.

[obstinatecondolement]

I think I was the only kid in the universe for whom "Just say no" was effective. And boy was it! I thought the Pringles slogan "Once you pop, you just can't stop" was a government mandated warning and refused to eat them in case I became addicted. My parents encouraged this belief (out of, I guess, a desire for me not to eat processed food) until I saw my mum eating Pringles at a party and had a panic attack.

Kids having my particular flavour of autism and OCD is probably not something you should rely on when creating policy though, Nancy Regan.

[tennessoui]

Have you ever written drug addict/and or alcoholic Obi-Wan? I can see him sinking into addiction during OWK, but it'd be interesting to see him using it to cope before that. After Qui-Gon's death, or during the war

[never have i ever ask game]

hello!! thank you for sending this <3 i have written an obi-wan who has struggled with substance abuse - in salt your fields, win your wars! this fic is not finished and may never be finished, but it's lovingly called the space actors au in my head, and it's rather darker than most of my fics. anakin is an up and coming holo film actor who uses recreationally, and obi-wan is an older actor whose life was pretty much ruined by drug addiction/alcoholism and now he's clean and meeting and falling into bed with anakin really tests him.

i also have been tossing around the idea of writing a fic(let) where same age modern au obi-wan and anakin run into each other at a grocery store after ten or fifteen years of not speaking. but they grew up together and were each other's first loves, only obi-wan was ewan mcgregor in trainspotting and anakin was hayden christensen in life as a house and their relationship sort of ends badly because of drug abuse and teenage angst and probably one or both families relocate away from the other. so in present time, when they're thirty somethings wearing boring business clothes, anakin is surprised to see obi-wan --- because he honestly wasn't sure obi-wan was still alive--- and obi-wan is surprised to see anakin clean cut, piercing free and holding the hand of one of his kids.

but as for canon compliant obi-wan struggling with addiction, i have not written anything like that! but i'm still counting my beloved space actors au <3

[adventures-in-therapy]

[as-frightened-as-you]

I started to write this post almost a month ago, but some bad stuff happened and I was… really not okay. But I'm getting better, kind of, so here are some (a bit angsty) night thoughts for you.

I share the fandom headcanon that Jason's father was not, you know, exactly the "father of the year" type. So, when Jason and Salim start to live together (because, as we all know, that's how the game ended, that's canon, right?), Jason sometimes becomes… overprotective of Zain.

He doesn't even realize that. It's just small things. Taking the blame for the glass that Zain accidentally broke. Trying to convince Salim that in Zain's age it's totally normal to come home late and a bit drunk, even if Salim is understanding and not actually angry. Stressing out when Salim and Zain argue, even if they both mean it as a joke. Stuff like that.

Jason doesn't realize that's the thing. Salim and Zain do.

"You know I love my son, right?" Salim asks one night.

"Yeah, I noticed,” Jason chuckles. “You've said that, like, a million times in the first hour after I met you."

"And you know I will never hurt him."

"Yeah, you'll probably hurt yourself first. Why?"

“You seem to… protect him from me.”

“What?"

Salim can see that Jason genuinely doesn't understand what it's all about. Salim tells him about all those small moments, about his obvious nervousness — and Jason is visibly embarrassed.

"Do you want to… talk about it?" Salim says.

"I'd rather not."

"Okay. And it is fine, you know. It is kind of cute."

"Fuck off," Jason grumbles, rolling his eyes.

Salim just smiles and changes the subject.

It's Jason who brings it up again in a couple of days.

"About… me being overprotective."

"Yes?"

"I wanted to make it clear… it's not about you being a bad dad or anything. It's just…"

There's a long pause as he is trying to find the words. Salim is waiting patiently.

"I had a fucked-up childhood, alright?" Jason says finally. "And my father… I mean, he meant well, I guess, but I do still have a couple of scars. And… well," it gets really hard for him to say that, "I guess, l myself wanted to be… protected. And, I guess, it'll stick with me for the rest of my fucking life."

He stares at his hands as if it's the most interesting thing in the world. Salim doesn't interrupt.

"And about Zain, it's… what's the clever word, projecting or something? I'm projecting this stuff on him, probably. I mean, I don't know shit about psychology, but that's a thing, right? It's just… not easy to stay chill when you two start arguing. Even if I know that it's really alright."

He sighs as if it was physically hard for him to say. He seems relieved that it is finally put into words.

"So, yeah. You're a great dad, and Zain is far better than I was at his age. And I'll try not to do that shit you told me about. Sorry."

It's Salim now who is trying to find the words. Jason never really mentioned his childhood; Salim did not expect this.

Salim could never understand how it is possible for a father not to love his own kid. Salim is not an ideal dad, of course; but it feels impossible for him to hurt Zain. Even to think about hurting him.

"I did not know about your father," he says as calmly as he can, even if something inside him is furious. "I will try not to raise my voice when you are around."

"No, that's… fine." Jason shrugs. "You don't have to. I mean, it's your family, your rules, you are both fine with that, and I'm just intruding."

"Jason."

"Yeah."

"You are a part of the family too. Have you not noticed?"

Jason mumbles something unintelligible and moves closer on the couch. Salim puts his hand around Jason's shoulders.

"I love you," he says. "And Zain thinks of you as the cool dad. Or, at least, the cool big brother."

"Yeah, that's all I lived for," Jason grumbles sarcastically.

He is smiling — he just can't help it.

It's all going to be okay.

[d3athanddecay1]

I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get hammered I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk I wanna get drunk

I want to get fucking wasted right now I don't want to wait another hour >:/

[necrogfie]

(comments on a video about vapping / smoking )

'ppl act like it's hard to quit i swear'

'it's easy they just aren't trying, stop normalising addiction'

'just quit'

'y'all ain't living to 40'

i hate you.

[fucked-up-brain]

Damn, I don't like sober me.