#all i want to do is drink coffee until i get a fucking heart attack because at least it feels like anything other than the above three

[apocalyptic-dancehall]

fuuuck man it feels like whenever i vent i'm probably over it 20 seconds mid-writing and then i feel like an attention-seeking loon

[criminalamnesia]

so after comparing price/simon to tolerate it, I’ve been wondering what song to compare gaz/johnny to

may I present: Johnny and Gaz giving lover vibes

(also I am working on ending 2 for tolerate it!)

he’s obsessed with you. the first time he saw you, in some dingy little bar he couldn’t believe someone as beautiful as you would be in— he was hooked. hopelessly in love, already throwing back a shot and sauntering over.

you’re alone at the bar, and he thinks that’s a damn shame. tells you that in those words. you laugh, and he cracks a smile— and the conversation starts to flow.

has he known you twenty seconds, or twenty years? there’s a natural spark between the two of you, something that makes it feel as though you hadn’t just met.

he buys you a drink, and before you know it, the two of you are on the dance floor. a slow song is playing, and you smile as his hands find your waist. his grip is gentle, reassuring.

he spins you around and you laugh, throwing your head back as he nearly drops you. by the time the song ends, the two of you are flushed and laughing like newlyweds.

an older woman comes up to you and tells you that you two are the cutest couple she’d ever seen. you play into it, giggling and pressing a chaste kiss to his cheek while he slings an arm around your shoulders.

needless to say, he goes home with you that night.

and when you wake up in the morning, he’s still there. standing in his boxers in your tiny apartment kitchen, cooking eggs and brewing coffee.

you swear you fall in love right then and there.

the two of you eat, and the conversation is easy. you almost don’t want him to leave— you have to fight the urge to ask him to stay.

you think it’s a little ridiculous— you don’t know him! but it feels like you do. and you think he feels the same way, because he taps his number into your phone and tells you to call him later to talk about a proper date.

you’re fucking done for.

the first date is perfect. he brings you flowers when he comes to pick you up, and you roll your eyes but can’t hide the blush that rushes to your cheeks.

you swear you’ve never met a man this nice. never gone on a date with someone so kind, so charming. sure, he’s a flirt— but it’s not distasteful. he’s a people person, that’s what he tells you. you believe him.

he pays for dinner, of course, even when you try to pay for your half. he walks you home afterwards, and gives you a kiss goodnight, and you feel like you’re living in a fucking movie.

all your friends think you’re crazy. they start to talk some sense into you— he’s just luring you in! just trying to get in your pants! he’s hiding something!

their words creep into your brain, and the next date you have with him, you’re quieter. more detached, more calculating. and fuck, if your friends weren’t completely wrong.

you go on date after date, and before you know it, you’ve been with him for a year. you’re moving into his flat, and although you know you’ll be home more often than he will, you don’t mind.

when he gets deployed for the first time during your relationship, the honeymoon phase starts to crack. you try to cope with the loneliness; with the boredom that his being away brings. you didn’t realize how much time you spent together until he left.

you call when you can— but it’s not often. he’s somewhere he can’t say, and the cell reception isn’t exactly spectacular. you send letters, and receive a few back, but communication is few and far between.

and then he surprises you one day by bursting through the door, nearly giving you a heart attack as you jumped off the couch.

you scold him as you jump into his arms, complaining “I thought you were a robber! I was prepared to kill you!”

and he just laughed and gave you a kiss.

your life together isn’t perfect. you have fights and disagreements. you refuse to let him meet your friends for the longest time because “they still think you’re playing the long game of deception.”

but you make up because you can never stay mad at each other for long. you finally get your friends to come around to the idea of him, and they instantly hit it off with him once you force them into the same room.

he wrangles his squad into meeting you, and they make sure to embarrass him. (they also love you, and when you excuse yourself to the bathroom, they tell him how happy they are for him.)

“so, you’re the one he never shuts up about, aye?”

he proposes after three years. it seems short to some, but you don’t care. you’ve loved him three summers now, and you sure as hell want all the rest of them, too.

so you get married and it’s nothing huge. an intimate ceremony with family and close friends. his teammates are his groomsmen. they each takes turns spinning you around the dance floor later that night, and they tell you that if he ever breaks your heart, they’ll kick his ass. you throw your head back and laugh.

at the end of the night, after all the guests have gone, he asks you for one last dance.

it’s to the slow song you’d danced to the first night you met so long ago, in that dingy little bar. he spins you around, and you step on his toes because of all the wine, but neither of you care. all you care about is each other.

he’s deployed a week after your wedding, and you hate to see him go, but you’d never put yourself between him and his work. his team promises you they’ll get him back to you safely. you trust them with all your heart.

when he returns months later, he’s sporting new scars and stitches. he’s the most beat up you’d ever seen him, and you hold back tears as you patch him up. only when he’s soundly asleep do you let the tears fall.

but life continues. you make the most of his time on leave, and anxiously await his return on deployment.

and although you would never dare utter the words, you know that the day he doesn’t come back to you is the day a piece of you dies, too.

you didn’t believe in soulmates until you met him.

[fatesmono]

carmen berzatto hcs

✮⋆˙ warnings : language

✮⋆˙ readers gender is female :3

✮⋆˙ a.n : this is my first post so pls go easy on me, just some headcannons + little lines i think he would say if you two were dating

✮⋆˙ enjoy loves !! <33333

✩ only drinks black coffee , saw what your order was one time and almost had a heart attack

✩“you’re just drinking caramel…why?”

✩ loves going thrifting with you, you helped him find vintage jeans one time and he almost fell in love with you then and there

✩ the eye contact ??? mans will hold eye contact with you for minutes and not understand why you’re getting flustered over it

✩bonus : he was taught to always keep eye contact with those he respected and doesn’t want you to think he doesn’t respect you

✩ loves when you try his food, you genuinely just love to eat and won’t pick out random bullshit to criticize abt his food

✩ “can you try this for me ?”

✩ hates when you call him chef after dating, will let you be the only one to call him “carmy” in the kitchen (besides richie), loves when you call him "carm" 

✩ using any pet names will land you in his office for a make out session, you called him “baby” one time by habit and spent the next hour on his desk making out until tina had to collect you two

✩ “can you make a shopping list for me ?”

✩ will gladly teach you and specifically asks you before he cooks if you want to watch him and will explain every little step and smiles at your blatant confusion on what “blanching” is

✩ he stopped smoking specifically for you, you two kissed one time and you slightly cringed at the taste and he immediately went out and bought nicotine patches along with gum and rolled his eyes at richie comments 

✩ will not let ANYONE comment on you, will not hesitate to beat the living shit out of someone for a slick comment on your presence 

✩ “i don’t give a fuck what they think of you, my love. you’re my girlfriend and that's all that matters”

✩ “i could make that for you”

✩ never thought about starting a family until he met you, you helped him with a kid’s party gig and he saw how easily you handled the kids (“little shits” as richie called them) and he knew then and there you would be the perfect mother

✩ you cut yourself one time during prep and he immediately ran over to check on you once he heard your little wince.

✩ “idc if its little, i need to make sure you're okay”

✩ loves the smell of your perfume and keeps going out to buy that specific one whenever he wants to get you a gift.

✩ secretly loves physical contact; you wrapped your arms around him while he cooked one time and now he can’t cook without you touching him in some way

✩ only cries around you, hearing you tell him that it’s going to be alright makes him melt every time

✩ you told him once that you could bartend/worked as a foh a year ago and immediately put you on the staff (couldn’t care what anyone had to say about it)

✩ loves hugging you, there's something about how soft your skin is that he can’t help but just embrace you the second he sees you

✩ rarely uses your real name, stopped using it the day after you two began dating

✩ “baby i can do the dishes tonight”

[pupyuj]

→ “the most pleasant surprise.” || ahn yujin x reader fic.

— yujin cuts her hair short, and you don't know what to do with yourself...

word count: 2.4k.

dynamic: sub!ahn yujin x (soft) dom!reader.

content warnings: smut, praise kink, fingering.

requested? : nope.

a/n: i'm still obsessed with her short hair so this plot is very relevant!! 😤😤 HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY GIRLFRIEND, MY BOYFRIEND, MY WIFE, THE WORLD'S BEST PUPPY AND MOST IMPORTANTLY, MY LITTLE LEWSER 🥺🥺🥺 i love her sosososo much guys i—

"do you guys think (y/n) will like it...?"

"if she doesn't, break up with her." gaeul says, patting yujin's shoulders as the girl stared at her reflection in the mirror.

wonyoung sighs deeply, "please don't say that."

"i'm kidding... for the most part."

"unnie."

the front door clicks open and the three girls whipped their heads towards the direction of the living room. an unsettling feeling settles in yujin's stomach when she hears the familiar shuffling of you taking off your coat amd dropping your bags, along with your gentle humming and random mumbles. what if you don't like her new look?

"hi, (y/n)! how was your day? anything interesting happen at work?" gaeul called out, pulling yujin up to her feet and nudging her out of her room. yujin shakes her head, too afraid to move a step out the door. the eldest rolled her eyes and attempted to drag yujin out herself, but of course, the girl was too tall and strong to budge.

"it was okay! there was one customer that kind of annoyed me to the point i almost spit in his coffee but other than that," the girls hears you yawn cutely. yujin's heart skips a beat, and she leans on wonyoung for the dramatic effect. the youngest of the three snickered, while gaeul grimaced. "it was a very fulfilling day."

"that's good. your girlfriend's here, by the way." gaeul says, once again pushing yujin out of the room.

"yujinnie?" they could hear the joy in your voice. "yujinnie!" the girl in question could cry. she loved you so much.

"unnie, just go. she'll love it, i promise." wonyoung whispered, now joining gaeul in nearly shoving yujin out the room. it was only a matter of time until yujin gave in and when she did, she stumbled out the door and into the hallway where you stood. fortunately enough, yujin didn't have to deal with your reaction just yet because you just turned around, staring at the kitchen.

gaeul groans, burying her face on her hands, frustrated at the two of you. wonyoung stifles a laugh at yujin awkwardly standing, not knowing what to do with herself at all.

"hm. i kind of want something warm to drink..." you mumbled, scratching your head.

fuck it. yujin huffed and mustering all the courage she had in her body, she stomps over to where you were and hugged you from behind. "hi." she said, planting a kiss on the back of your head.

"hey, baby! i was just wondering where—"

you paused. no, you froze.

slowly, you turned around and yujin takes a step back, letting you look at her entire face. saying that she was nervous was an understatement. she felt like she was going to have a heart attack... but the look on your face eases her mind just a bit. you looked at her in awe, rather than distaste.

despite everything that clouded yujin's head, you smiled at her, "wow." you breathed out.

(gaeul nods proudly at the scene, "yujin is so getting laid."

"unnie!"

but wonyoung knew the older girl was right.)

"i was afraid you wouldn't like it... i've never been more happy in being wrong." yujin says shyly.

"what? why wouldn't i like it? i love it," you ran your hand down her short brown locks, grinning. you then cupped her cheeks in your hands and pulled her in for a quick kiss, but it turns into you just peppering yujin's entire face with kisses while she giggles cutely. "i love you."

yujin's heart has never felt fuller.

"okay, break it up. let's have dinner." gaeul says, patting your back as she passed by with wonyoung following close behind. yujin gives you a brief kiss on the cheek before taking your arm and pulling you to the kitchen. jiwon, rei, and hyunseo had already eaten dinner and chose to retreat to the second dorm to play around. fortunately.

throughout the entire dinner, you couldn't keep your eyes off of your girlfriend. you looked at her with a dumb smile on your face because she looked so happy with her new hair, and every time she catches your stares, you would shyly look away. it was as if you were crushing on her for the first time all over again. not that you ever stopped. you still pined for her even though you've been dating for god knows how long.

it's just that... something about her new look felt so refreshing for your entire relationship.

you volunteered to wash the dishes, even though wonyoung and gaeul pleaded for you to just sit down and rest. well, wonyoung pleaded, gaeul tried to argue with you about it. but you felt... rather shy to be around yujin now. the thought of being alone with her, well, it makes your face heat up way too much. she just looked too good!!

well, it wasn't like you could avoid her, anyway. because you were halfway through rinsing the plates when she hugged you from behind, "do you need help?"

you beamed at her, and shook your head. "just a kiss." you puckered your lips towards her, and she laughs before giving you what you wanted.

yujin didn't leave after that. she stayed behind you, chatting with you about her day, telling you about all the funny things that happened when she first showed her hair to the younger ones. and in return, you told her about the good things that happened at work. yujin was staring at you with what gaeul called 'heart eyes' the entire time you were talking, and she could not stop kissing you every minute.

"so we're gonna go now," gaeul says suddenly. wonyoung stands behind her, smiling sweetly at the two of you. you were her favorite couple. "have fun. don't be too loud... save some for tomorrow?"

"what—"

"bye-bye!" wonyoung pulls gaeul out of the dorm and closes the door behind her. you and yujin hear the two of them snickering before they entered the other dorm. you turned your head back to the sink, knowing exactly what gaeul meant.

was it so obvious that you wanted to fuck yujin because her new look turned you on like crazy? perhaps you did stare too much...

you started feeling hot. yujin's breath tickled your neck and her lips just barely ghosted over your skin, giving you goosebumps and shivers down your spine. feeling her chest on your back, her groin against your ass, and her arms around your waist, hands just barely lingering near your private parts... it was all too much.

and it didn't help that when you looked back at her, her eyes were dark. so inviting and captivating.

"baby," she tugs at the waistband of your skirt. "can... can you—"

"i-i, um... i have to wash up." you gently wriggled yourself out of her hold and rushed into her bedroom. you quickly took some clothes from her drawer and retreated into the bathroom, pressing your back against the door with your face all red and sweaty. you wondered if this was the right time. sure, yujin looked like she was asking for it, but... was she really?

yes, yujin had quite a bit of a track record of 'asking for it' during special times. but did this count as a special time? it was all you were thinking about while you were in the shower. uh, no, not fucking yujin in the shower—although that can be done in the future... wait, what were you talking about?

nevertheless, you left the bathroom the same as you entered it; with a bright red blush on your cheeks that got significantly worse when you saw your girlfriend sitting crossed-legged on her bed, pouting at you. but her eyes softened at the sight of you wearing one of her shirts, you looked adorable in them.

"s-shower's available... if you want to go in there..." you timidly walked to the left side of the bed and sat there stiffly. yujin watched as you awkwardly started scrolling through... your calendar on your phone? okay, she has to clear the air now.

"(y/n), is it my hair? did you change your mind about it?"

you gasped, offended that she would think such a thing. "no! you look beautiful, love! w-what do you even mean by that...?"

yujin toys with the hem of her sweater—your sweater. "well, you've been kind of weird since wonyoung and gaeul-unnie left. made me think that you just pretended to like my hair to avoid a fight with them or something..." she was mumbling by the end of her sentence. immediately, you put your phone on the bedside table and scooted closer to your girlfriend.

"honey, i would never do that kind of thing," you pulled her back slightly so she could look at you. the short hair really did look amazing on her. you were falling in love all over again. "ugh, i did this... i'm sorry, yujin. it was a misunderstanding."

yujin touches the ends of her hair, blushing just a bit. "you really like it...?"

you cupped her cheek with one hand, pulling her closer and closer by the second. "i told you before," you tucked a piece of hair behind her ear, smiling brightly. "i love it. and i love you." then yujin closed her eyes, tilting her head slightly and hoping that you get her message. and of course you do. you gave her a quick peck on the lips, making her flutter her eyes open and stare you down.

she wanted more, so you give her more.

you finally kissed her with passion this time, tasting mint and her lip gloss on your tongue. both of you moved back on the bed so yujin was against the headrest and you were on top of her, your hands under her sweater and hers combing through your damp hair. it was easy to pull off her shorts, as well as her panties, but you decided to keep her sweater—your sweater, again—on.

"touch me, please, (y/n)..." yujin whispered while you busied your lips on her collarbone. not feeling like being a tease, your hand trails up from her knee to her inner thighs and finally, to her pussy. she was soaked, why wouldn't she? she has been waiting for this the entire night. she wouldn't stop squirming in her seat earlier during dinner. thoughts of you doing things to her invading her head while she watched you laugh and chat with her members. her heart jumping whenever she found you staring at her... yujin needed you so badly.

yujin gasps as you slowly inserted two fingers inside her at the same time. she covers her mouth, but ultimately finds her hands clutching onto your shirt once you pulled your fingers out again. she was already clenching around your fingers, her walls just sucking you in out of pure desperation to have you stimulate her and make her feel good. you thrusted inside her again, a little harder this time, and she moans.

perhaps your pace was a little too slow for her liking, because yujin had started bucking her hips upward whenever you pulled you retreated your fingers. "faster?" you asked. yujin nodded and tightened her hold on your shirt as you obliged.

"mhmm.. ah— (y/n).. right there... feels s-so good... please.."

yujin secures one leg around your waist as if you were planning on going anywhere. you curled your fingers inside her, making her arch her back and moan loudly.

"you're doing so good, baby..." you kissed her cheek and increased your speed. her moans, her breathing, and the lewd sounds of her slick pumping back into her cunt whenever your fingers pounded into her... god, it was all such a turn on. not to mention that it was easier to see her pretty face now that her hair didn't stick to her skin.

"my love? are you feeling alright?" you asked, seeing that yujin had her teary eyes completely glued to the ceiling. she blinks and looks back at you, nodding and pulling you in for a kiss. she could be so cute when she was under you like this. being the leader, yujin didn't always get the attention and care she needed from her members. mostly because the care and attention in question could only be given by you, her girlfriend, but it wasn't like you were around all the time to give her all that.

so, yujin just completely melts when she's intimate with you like this.

yujin's breathing gets quicker, and she was holding onto you for dear life— moaning on your shoulder, nails digging into the fabric of your shirt, and biting her lip near to the point of wounding herself. she has completely stilled on the bed, letting you fuck her in that moderately fast pace that she liked so much. you were hitting all the right spots inside of her, all the spots that tied that knot in her stomach tighter and tighter the longer you went on.

"you're gonna come now, okay? i got you." you kissed her forehead, and all it took was one rub on her clit before she came, screaming your name as she did so. yujin's juices spurted out of her pussy and into your palm, wetting the bedsheets underneath as well as a bit of your shirt.

you pulled out of her cunt and embraced her tightly, "good job, angel. you did so well. my baby..." yujin was slowly succumbing to a deep sleep as she came down from her high, but hearing your words still made her smile a little. with what little strength she has left, she pulled away from your hug slightly and kissed you.

"i love you so much..." yujin whispered, lightly running her thumb across your bottom lip before hiding her face on the crook of your neck. if she wasn't all over you right now, you would have been rolling around the bed and kicking your feet in the air. yes, it was you who fucked the hell out of yujin tonight but she will always, always have your heart in a chokehold. she will always make you feel like everything is a first time.

falling in love with her was the greatest gift you have ever received.

at the end of the night, when you've turned off all of the lights and pulled the blanket over yujin and yourself, you could only say the words you will never get tired of telling her, and the only words she deserves to hear forever.

"i love you, ahn yujin."

[radiant-reid]

How about one where Spencers insecure about gaining some weight so the reader makes sure he knows how much she loves his body? Tummy kisses?

no bc he's so fucking hot

You know something is a little wrong with Spencer when he walks into your apartment with a frown that he's trying to hide. Usually, he's smiling, but when he's having a bad day, he doesn't hide it from you.

Tonight he is, though, and you're immediately concerned, walking over to take his stuff. "What's up?" You ask, pulling him further into the warm house.

He's still not happy, pouting as he falls down onto the couch, defeated. He lays flat against the material, looking up at you in an attempt to make a normal amount of eye contact. "Nothing." He claims. He kind of hates that you can read him how he reads people.

"Baby, something's bothering you." You coo, swinging your leg over his hip so you can straddle his waist. You push his curls out of the way of his eye, keeping your hands on his forehead.

"Sweetheart." He warns you not to push it, but it comes off too weakly.

You shake your head. "Tell me."

"No." He refuses. "It's dumb."

"I doubt you've ever thought anything dumb in your life." You remind him, leaning down to kiss his cheeks.

Spencer turns to deny you the kiss. "It's vain then."

You pull back, raising your eyebrows at him. "Please tell me, baby." You beg, cupping his cheeks again.

He huffs, barely getting the sentence out in a whisper. "I've gained weight, and I've never thought I was good-looking, but I feel horrible about how I look."

"Thank you for telling me." You say, gently running your finger over his nose. He expects your following words to agree with him, but they're very far from it. "Spencer, I need you to look at me and listen to me." When he does so, your heart breaks from the tears diluting the warm brown of his eyes. "I think you are the most attractive person in the world. I've adored how you looked since you were 29, and I'm enamored with how you look now. You've been to hell, through hell, and back, and yeah, you've gained weight, but it only makes you more attractive and healthier."

Spencer scoffs. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not." You tell him sternly. "I love how you fill out your shirt and pants now. Seriously, looking at your ass is a blessing every day." He chuckles slightly. Precisely what you've been looking for. "You're eating three meals daily instead of drinking heart-attack-inducing amounts of coffee. You're the hottest you've ever been because you're healthy."

"You're sweet." He says. "But I think you're a liar."

If words aren't enough, you figure actions will be, and you shuffle down before untucking his shirt from his pants and kissing his stomach.

"What are you doing?" He asks, squirming a little because of how ticklish he is.

"I'm going to kiss the insecurity away." You tell him. "This one and any others." You pause to kiss him again. "Until you believe you're the most gorgeous man in the world." You don't hesitate to go back to your job, continuing to kiss him until he pulls you away. "Believe me now?"

"Maybe." He answers sheepishly. "I'm sorry for dumping this all on you first thing."

You shake your head, leaning back up so you can kiss him properly on the lips. "I'm always here to tell you how good-looking you are." You assure him. "I'll never let anyone be mean to you, and that includes you, so be careful because you don't want to make me mad."

He chuckles at you. "Oh, I know that." He reminds you. "I love you."

You grin at him, leaning down to kiss his perfect nose. "I know that. And you better know that you're attractive."

"I do." He finally agrees, smiling his beautiful smile. It was a 180 from the expression he'd been wearing when he walked through the door, and you knew your work was done.

[xiubaek-13]

Definitely, Maybe

Genre: Fluff.

Pairing: Hoshi x Reader

Word Count: 1,851

Warnings: Swearing, mentions of sex, mostly fluff honestly, kissing, mentions of alcohol but no one is drunk.

A/N: I hope you enjoy this. Just a little something my brain word vomited onto a page in the last hour. Not even remotely edited.

The thumping bass from the party was deafening. You could feel your bones vibrating along to the music as you danced your heart out. You needed this night to unwind, silently thanking Cheol for managing to have his party on the same day that the universe seemed to have it out for you. You managed to wake up late, get a flat tyre, have coffee spilt on you less than five minutes after arriving at work and then you got chewed out by your boss because someone else in your team had fucked up. By the time you got your lunch, you were already venting to your friends in your group chat about your bad, no good, terrible day. 

[12:45pm] Hannie: Wow, who did you piss off in a past life?

[12:45pm] You: Someone who wants vengeance apparently.

[12:45pm] Shua: This is all because you refuse to sleep with your boss.

[12:45pm] You: Not happening. Really wish you’d stop suggesting it.

[12:45pm] Hannie: Shua might have a point…

[12:45pm] You: Why am I even friends with the two of you? 

[12:46pm] Gyu: Shua, are you trying to get her fired?

[12:46pm] Shua: Uh, no? Clearly I’m trying to get her promoted. 

[12:46pm] Cheol: 9pm. My place. Drinks, probably not much food, dancing and poor decisions. Guaranteed to make you feel better.

[12:46pm] Dino: Awesome! Party at Cheol’s. Tell everyone!

[12:46pm] Vernon: Have you guys seen this cat pic?

[12:46pm] Shua: Subtle change of subject there.

[12:46pm] Cheol: I’m busy with reports and am not on team peer pressure our friend into fucking their boss. 

[12:47pm] DK: Party! See everyone tonight.

[12:47pm] Jun: Is your boss hot?

[12:47pm] Woozi: Isn’t Kihyun your boss?

[12:47pm] You: Yes.

[12:48pm] Hannie: So you admit that your boss is hot.

[12:48pm] You: No! I was answering Woozi. 

[12:48pm] Shua: Sure Jan.

[12:48pm] Wonwoo: *popcorn*

[12:48pm] Woozi: Yeah I’m on team don’t fuck your boss if you were wondering.

[12:49pm] You: Someone else in this group is sane. Thank you.

[12:49pm] Woozi: np

[12:49pm] Vernon: So that’s a no on the cat pic then.

[12:49pm] Seungkwan: It’s not really a question of if you should do it. You CAN’T do it. 

[12:49pm] You: Not sure if this is helpful or an attack…

[12:49pm] Seungkwan: I’m on your side ffs! I’ll disown you if you fuck him.

[12:50pm] Hao: Still sounds a bit judgemental ngl.

[12:50pm] Wonwoo: *popcorn*

[12:50pm] Gyu: Yeah, sounds a bit like if she did do it, you’re going to slut shame her out of the friendship.

[12:50pm] Hoshi: I didn’t know Kihyun was your boss!  

[12:50pm] Hoshi: Can I send his gift to your office for you to pass on? Please?! 

[12:50pm] You: Hoshi, why are you sending my boss a gift?

[12:50pm] Hoshi: I was at his wedding a few weeks ago and forgot to drop my gift off.

[12:51pm] Shua: Ok maybe don’t fuck your boss.

[12:51pm] You: Finally you speak some sense!

[12:51pm] Shua: At least not until he’s out of the honeymoon phase.

Cheol removed Shua from the group

[12:51pm] Dino: I approve.

Hannie added Shua to the group

[12:52pm] Shua: Wow. The audacity Cheol.

[12:52pm] Cheol: Fight me.

[12:53pm] Vernon: thislilfloofyguystoebeans.jpeg sent.

[12:53pm] Wonwoo: Cute.

Cut to 11pm, you’ve been dancing with your friends and drinking whatever strange concoctions Jun keeps bringing you. You only finished the ones that tasted good, disposing of the less palatable ones when he wasn’t looking. Water and fresh air began to call to your soul so you excused yourself from the hyper and tipsy group who were currently having a dance off to Psy’s ‘Gentleman’. Cheol let you go after you promised that you weren’t leaving to go home.

You made your way into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of water then made a beeline for the verandah. The cool air was a welcome change to the makeshift dance floor downstairs. You could still hear the bass from the music but it was muted now that bricks, mortar and semi soundproof glass separated you from it. It had been awhile since you’d gotten to unwind like this with your friends. It was a pleasant change to the monotony of work, eat ,sleep, repeat.  You leant on the balcony and let yourself zone out as you looked at the view from Cheol’s apartment. You wished you could see the stars more clearly but that was one of the compromises city living required. 

A hand lands on your shoulder, giving it a soft squeeze. The gesture was innocent but because your mind had been elsewhere you nearly jumped out of your skin from shock. A soft laugh came from behind you and you immediately knew who it was. Hoshi. “Sorry! I didn't mean to scare you.” 

You wave your hand to calm him down. “It’s ok Hoshi, I must have really let my mind wander while I was looking at the view. I didn’t even hear you come out here.”

He smiles at you, moving to stand next to you so he can look out at the view as well. “Yeah, it is something isn’t it?”

“Mmmhmm.” You hum in agreement.

“You should see it at sunset. Sometimes it looks like the entire city is ablaze… which sounds much worse than it is.” He laughs awkwardly. “I’m trying to say that it’s pretty.” His hand grazes your arm as he leans on the balcony, the action sending a fluttering feeling to your stomach. Weird. That wasn’t a feeling you ever associated with him and he was an affectionate person so it wasn’t rare for him to touch you.

You weren’t sure what was different about this touch. You wanted him to do it again, to see if that feeling was a fluke or if it would happen again. You were staring at his arm, not noticing how his gaze softened as he watched you. He decides to throw caution to the wind and call you out on it. “Hey, my eyes are up here y’know.” 

You felt your face heat up in embarrassment as you realise you’ve been blatantly staring at him. You didn’t know what had come over you but you felt like you were seeing him for the first time. Hoshi had always been in your friend group, and the two of you had always gotten along but you had never felt some type of way about him. Until now apparently. Obviously you were going to have to play it cool since he’s always treated you like family so there’s no way he would look at you and feel any type of way but familial. Which was ok. 

“Cute.” He smiles at you, poking your cheek when your eyes don’t meet his. “Hey, why are you embarrassed?”

“I’m not okay?” You huff, which only causes his smile to grow. “Shut up.” 

“I didn’t even say anything!” He grabs your chin and lifts your head, forcing you to look up at him. “But you are very cute when you’re embarrassed.” You stare into his eyes, unable to look away. He waits to see if you’ll look away but you don’t. You stare at him like you’re seeing him clearly for the first time in your life. You see the shift in his gaze as it moves from confused to curious to something more. “If you keep looking at me like that I’m going to kiss you.” Before you can begin to process his words, you feel the soft press of his lips on yours, the moment sending electricity throughout your body. You were too surprised by the action to kiss him back, and you feel him begin to pull back. Your brain finally snapped out of its daze and your lips chased his, not wanting the kiss to end. You press your lips into his, reciprocating the kiss. You feel him smile into the kiss as he realises that you want this, that you want him. 

He pulls you closer, causing a small gasp to escape your lips, and deepens the kiss as he allows himself to let go. His lips were soft and comforting but you could feel the desire that was there as well. His hand caressed your cheek before moving through your hair, down the back of your neck and settled on your waist as he pulled you closer. Your hands grip the front of his shirt, pulling him closer to you as you feel his tongue swipe across your bottom lip and you allow him access, wanting to feel more of him. You could taste one of those awful cocktails that he must have had earlier but you didn’t care.

The two of you broke apart to catch your breaths, the tension between you thick and heady. “I’m definitely not your boss, but would you like to get out of here?” He murmured as his fingers rubbed circles into your side.

“Only if you don’t mention my boss again.” You whisper.

He can’t stop himself from laughing which only sets you off as well. The palpable tension between you momentarily dissipates. “How does ramen at a late night diner followed by making out and some light groping sound?” He winks at you as he makes his proposition.

“Has that line ever worked for you?” Because you think it’s working on you. Because you think Hoshi might just charm the pants off you tonight if he’s lucky. Because you want him to keep kissing you. Because you want to see what else that mouth of his can do.

He shrugs as he waits for you to make a decision. “You tell me, this is the first time I’ve used it.”

“It shouldn’t work,” Except that he’s somehow perfected that dichotomy of silly and sexy. How had you never noticed before? What planet have you been living on to never notice before tonight? You could kick yourself.

“But…?” He asks, a hopeful smile on his face. How the fuck are you supposed to deny that face? From those warm and inviting eyes to those pinchable cheeks and that endearing smile. You couldn’t say no. Hoshi has always been someone who you found inviting but until very recently you hadn’t realised that the guy was actually hot. He’d always been the cute guy with a heart of gold but something had shifted for you in the past ten minutes. You were sober at this point so you couldn’t blame a haze of liquor for this epiphany. 

You grab his hand and smile. For some reason his cheesy pick up line has worked on you. Maybe you’re hungry, maybe his lips are just too inviting, maybe the warmth of your bodies is something you’re now thinking of exploring. “Let’s go.” You say. 

Maybe the truth is that you just have a crush on Hoshi and you’ve only just realised it.

A/N: Happy Birthday Hoshi. I had no plans on writing for him today but apparently my brain had other ideas so I hope you like it.

[armpirate]

The Only One || JJK || Ch. 4

Pairings: mafia!jk x fem!reader

Genre: smut, angst, mafia, contract relationship

Warnings: Prostitution, torture, blood, use of drugs and weapons

Summary: You've always wished for a better life. Every single day at work, you were hoping something would change. Although you didn't think that change would come in the form of one mysterious man and a contract.

His controlling and selfish behaviour only wanted to keep you away from any other man that wasn't him, and you only had to wait for him.

Too bad you really thought you'd be smarter than Jeon Jungkook.

Previous || Next

MASTERLIST

Y/n woke up that morning as she usually did. Cleaned her room, got a shower and prepared breakfast for Jorge and Carla -who were getting ready for their respectives day as well.

—How was work last night? —Jorge casually asked, while he sipped on his coffee.

Memories from a few hours back kept replaying in her head. His possessive gaze, his safe grip on her wrists as he fucked her however he wanted... and how he left her wanting more. Even more than what he gave her.

—Nothing interesting —she shrugged, drawing the conversation back to the little lie she formed to protect herself and them—. Rich mommy kids acting entitled because they think they own everything.

Of course Jorge didn't know about her job. She wasn't sure whether he'd judged her for her decision of working in that club, but she for sure didn't want to risk it. Not to mention his poor heart condition and the consequences that information could have. Jorge was better off thinking she was working at a club serving drinks.

—Fucking pricks —Carla shook her head.

—Language —Jorge scolded her, smacking her forehead with the rolled newspaper he had in his hand.

Obviously he didn't hit her hard, but it still made his daughter pucker her lips annoyed, knowing she's heard worse words on TV during lunch time. But probably she wouldn't be getting scolded now if she hadn't insulted someone from her advanced math support class.

—You better apologize today —Y/n warned her—, with your classmate and your teacher. Using someone's dead family members to curse them isn't right. And even less because he got one answer right.

—He stole my answer.

—I don't care —she stopped her—. Just admit you did something wrong and move on.

When Jorge welcomed Y/n into the family, she was eighteen and Carla was only ten. She was still just a kid. With time, she grew out to be an older sister for her, with all the responsibilities that came with it. She picked her up from school, went to school meetings because Jorge wasn't able to attend while being hospitalized, helped her to study... That's why it wasn't surprising Carla listened to her and simply nodded when Y/n was planning to have the last word to set the discussion to an end.

After finishing breakfast, the youngest one left for school while they were left picking up everything on the table. At least it was like that until Y/n basically forced Jorge to sit down and let her do everything.

—Thank you —he said, not moving his eyes away from her.

—It's the least I can do —she pointed out, still doing the dishes.

—No, it's not —he sighed—. You help Carla with everything, you worry about my medicine and doctor appointments, bring money to the house...

They had that same conversation way too many times through the weeks. It's been that exact same discussion ever since she settled in his house and started working to help him pay the rent. And the conversation got a more serious note after he came back home after the heart attack.

—And you saved my life —she smiled, sitting next to him—. I still owe a lot to you.

—I did what anyone else would've done —he pinched her chin fondly.

Not really though. Her parents didn't, so why would she think it was normal for a stranger to pick her up from the streets and help her to this day?

It made no sense at all. But whatever it was, she had clear she'd be forever thankful to everything he has done for her.

Later in the morning, Y/n found herself buying food she never thought she'd be buying if it weren't for that tip she got last night. Shellfish, veal, fresh vegetables and fruits... And she still had some more money left. Actually, she still had more than half of the money that client gave her.

And she was so close to leaving the superstore, until she saw the technology department and she remembered Carla ranting about needing a new laptop, because hers would get lagged every five minutes -not a surprise though, she got that from a friend in the club that didn't need it anymore. Actually, she was lucky enough to actually get it to work.

Y/n didn't know how many times she'd be given that amount of money again, or how many times she'd be given the chance to make them two happy with a good lunch and a new laptop -that actually was new.

She left the store with two bags full of food and a small laptop box, and knowing she wouldn't be able to get on a bus with all that stuff, she called a cab with the remaining amount she managed to keep.

Whoever that client was, gave her the fuck of her life and the best amount of money to spend on the people she cared for the most.

Too bad he was one of those rare cases and she wouldn't see him again.

✸ ✸ ✸

Jungkook was sitting on the balcony of his hotel room, trying hard to focus on something else that wasn't the girl from last night. He'd tried to keep his mind busy with business, but his hard cock always reminded him his mind was still on what happened the previous night. And those new pics of her, taken from a safe distance, weren't of help. She was wearing a simple outfit: black jeans, white t-shirt and a denim jacket; but he could swear seeing her in those clothes and with her real hair on display, made him want her even more.

—She lives with a man and a girl —Yejun pointed out—. Guess they're her uncle and cousin, by what her neighbors told us.

—Anything that could be harmful?

—No —he shrugged—. But it's not like a morning could give away enough who she actually is. To get real answers, I need to do a follow up for a bit longer.

—It's alright —he looked at every picture carefully.

It amazed him how, although he did everything he could to her, he still found himself thinking about all the things he wanted to do to her body. He found himself imagining how her breathless voice would sound while moaning his name, at least once.

Pedro wasn't lying when he said she was one of his best girls. Tasted her, and he didn't want to be with anyone else.

Which actually made him think...

How many men would have the privilege to have what he experienced last night? To be looked at the same way she looked at him, to sink in her and feel her walls wrapping perfectly around them... It was messing with his brain to think about the possibility of somebody else being able to fully have her. And not only once, or twice...

—Yejun, postpone my flight.

—Postpone? —he almost stepped outside the balcony, but remained behind the window frame.

—I need to have one last meeting with Pedro —he informed.

—Should I inform mister Park as well?

—No —Jungkook lifted his hand—. But tell Seongho to call me.

Yejun was confused at those sudden commands from his boss. Postponing the flight was weird -especially coming from someone who only left the country because he was basically forced to. But he thought that maybe he'd want to spend more time with Jimin. But when he mentioned Pedro, and one of his lawyers instead, he showed himself totally lost on what Jungkook could be doing on his own.

Bowing, Yejun got himself deeper in the room to be in contact with both men, and also canceled the flight they were supposed to be taking that night to postpone it to the next evening.

A few hours later, Jungkook was heading to have lunch with Pedro, while Seongho was still working on all the paperwork that he was told to get ready for the night. The bearded man was surprised to see his new partner there, when he was first assured they'd barely see each other after the previous night's meeting.

But there he was.

Jungkook was sitting at one of the tables, placed in the corner of the terrace of the expensive restaurant. One leg crossed over the other, one hand on his lap and the other on the table, playing with the napkin as he focused on the rays of sunshine shining bright on the sea.

—Mister Jeon —Pedro greeted him with a smile, getting his attention—. What a delightful surprise.

Just lifting his hand and pointing to the free chair in front of him, he invited the bearded man to join him for lunch.

—Was there anything left to discuss last night?

—Actually, yes —Jungkook finally shifted his eyes back to the man in front of him.

—I'm all ears.

He thought about how he'd introduce the fact that he was so hooked on Love that he didn't want to share her with anyone else, even if he wasn't going to see her as often. Or probably he would. It depended on how he played his cards.

—I want one of your girls to be included on the deal.

At first, Pedro cackled, thinking Jungkook was kidding or had a better offer to be demanding something like that, but his serious expression just confirmed how serious he was about that.

—I heard she was good, but that good? —he lifted his eyebrows surprised— I know you think your dick is big enough to demand something like that from me, but don't forget who has the upper hand here.

—You made me come here, although the deal was sealed days ago with Jimin —Jungkook squinted his eyes, still showing himself as peaceful as he could be—. You made me waste my time. I showed you how deep into this business I am, and I'll be expanding your distribution route... I think the least I deserve is a souvenir for this trip.

—And Love is that souvenir? —Pedro puckered his lips.

—You can have her working there, you can even use her as a dancer —Jungkook tilted his head—. But she's exclusive, she's mine from now on.

Giving him a challenging look, Pedro just smirked at that idea. He had a lot of girls to rely on anyway, and that girl wasn't even one of the best for him -especially when he started hearing the rumors that she was planning on leaving soon -as soon as she got money to pay for some extra things. Giving Jungkook something that he knew would be temporary, wouldn't only earn more trust but would also tighten the relationship between them.

He'd be the winning party on that.

—Good luck on getting her to agree —he finally pointed, giving a sip to his cup of wine.

—Don't worry about that —he shrugged—. I know she will. You should just worry about not letting anyone else put their hands on her while I'm away. The responsibility will be all yours if that ever happens.

✸ ✸ ✸

Lopes sneaked his head through the door as the girls started getting ready to hunt some men to please. All of them, including Y/n, were ready to move their bodies on the pole and full some dudes' ears with empty promises and flattery.

The dressing room was usually a mess, full of makeup, wigs and women running around half naked or with their costumes unzipped. But that day especially, it was even worse. The arrival of a new girl, who barely spoke their language -like most of them when they came here-, got them all nervous about the situation. At least, this time, the girl seemed of age.

But Y/n still wondered what brought her here. And considering she seemed like someone from the East of Europe, that barely spoke their language -and the few words had a strong russian accent-, she knew that girl wasn't there by choice. And was probably being fooled into believing she'd get all the legal needed documents to live there.

If only she knew there were girls in here, like Anya, that have been reduced to this job for more than six years...

—She'll be taking someone's place —Amira mentioned, making Y/n turn to her—. Apparently one of us will be sold to someone else.

It was the simplicity in which the auburn mentioned that detail that made her turn to her confused.

Yes, Y/n herself was fooled into believing she'd be earning fast money when she was desperate, but that was still her choice. She knew of other girls that were kidnapped and auctioned off so they'd end there. Or, like Anya's case, fooled into believing she'd be getting a better future after working there. The idea of being sold to someone, just being treated as an object or a piece of meat, disgusted her. But it was what they were for all those men.

Trying to comfort her, Amira placed her hands on her shoulders and pressed lightly, trying to recomfort her for what was to come.

At that point, any of them could be the one leaving.

—Love, room eleven.

She looked confused. She didn't have time to expose herself or show the black lace lingerie set she was wearing under the sexy secretary costume she chose for that night. But when she was going to ask about it, Lopes was already gone.

He gave her the information, and now she only had to go there and deal with whatever middle-aged man was waiting for her.

Unconsciously, her high heels rubbed against the floor constantly, as she dragged her body to that room again.

Was that going to be the new place where she would work?

Her heart dropped to her pussy when her eyes laid on that same fine man from last night. The ticklish feeling on her belly every time she remembered the previous night intensified as she closed the door behind her. And mentally she was thanking every possible god, even those who didn't exist, for giving her that experience not once, but twice. When she touched herself last night, she genuinely thought that was going to be the only way to remember vividly everything that happened. But she was wrong.

Jungkook could almost feel his cock tensing in his pants when she showed up wearing a short tight skirt and a vest that put her cleavage on full display.

He'd have fucked her as soon as she crossed the door if it hadn't been for the contract that was waiting on his back. He also thought it was funny how she tried to act with confidence, when her eyes were shining with excitement as soon as she was aware of his presence.

—Coming back for more? —she raised her thin eyebrow, walking to him.

—Coming back for you —he replied with a deep voice.

But before Y/n could walk closer to him, he separated their bodies with a pile of sheets divided into two, full of characters -half in a language she didn't understand, and the other half in Spanish.

"Service agreement" just reading those two words, made her raise the contract and ask with her eyes what was going on. 

Taglist: @kaiparkerwifes @sheylamc

[ahundredtimesover]

The Light of Dead Stars (07) | KSJ

Pairing: Seokjin x (f.) Reader; side Seokjin x (f.) OC; side Reader x Namjoon

Genre/Tags: arranged marriage, fake romance, boss/workmate aus; angst, drama, fluff, smut; slow burn

Chapter Warnings: Foul language (18+)

Chapter Word count: 9.9k

Series Masterlist | Muse Moodboard | Setting Moodboard

Status: Complete

Series summary:  Your unconventional arranged marriage with your company’s President, Kim Seokjin, is necessary, practical, and simple - both your families benefit, and he minds his own business and so do you. But when a slip-up causes his parents to believe that you and he are in love, you have no choice but to pretend you are, especially with the trip to France for his brother’s wedding coming up. When you get back to Seoul, things start to change, and Seokjin is faced with the most difficult decision he has to make.  

“Do you want some tea?”

It definitely wasn’t what Jin was expecting after telling Seri that they have to end things, but it’s cold and he’s having a mini-heart attack so maybe something calming might help.

“Sure. Chamomile would be great,” he replies.

He sits on the three-person couch in her living room that opens to the kitchen and her bedroom and watches her prepare his drink. Seri’s quaint apartment used to make him feel comfortable and cozy; now, it’s just suffocating.

She places the cup on the coffee table then pulls a chair from the kitchen counter to sit in front of him. She watches him blow the steam away before sipping. He always has this little smile that he makes after the first sip; it’s one of the details she’s noticed over the years and it’s definitely something that she’s going to miss.

“I’m sorry that this is hard for you, but you don’t have to worry,” Seri says, catching Jin by surprise. “I, uh, I guess I should’ve seen it coming.”

“Hey, why are you apologizing to me?” He exclaims. “This is on me, it always was. I always thought everything was okay between us, that things were easy because they just were, without realizing that you always had to compromise, that you always had to adjust and understand.”

“And I had to because we were each other’s secrets, Jin. That’s how it worked; it’s how it always worked. And I used to think it was okay - that you kept me around as long as you did because something was just pulling you back to me, that there was something keeping you around. And I realized it’s because I let you,” Seri explains. “You say you haven’t been fair to me and yes, that’s partly true, but I haven’t been fair to me, too.”

Jin looks at Seri in shock, unwilling to believe that this is how it’s going. He didn’t expect her to fight back, but he expected her to ask more, to demand answers. “Fuck, what’s happening,” is what he manages to say.

“What, you didn’t expect it’d be easy up until the end, huh?” She teases. 

“It isn’t easy, Seri. I’ve been unfair to you all this time and you don’t deserve the way I’ve been treating you.”

“Why, how are you treating me? A secret? Of course, that’s what we are, and I agreed to it. You think I would’ve managed if word got out about us, about the mere assistant cozying it up with the Chairman’s son?” She presses. “Sure, I was a 25-year old when it all started but I wasn’t naive, and I’m not naive now. At the end of the day, you treated me well, way better than anyone I could think of who wouldn’t keep me a secret. You’re a good man, Jin. I hope what happened to us doesn’t take that away from you.”

“Am I, though? I couldn’t.. I couldn’t do anything for you, for us. I took 5 years of your life and–”

“I took 5 years of yours, too,” Seri interjects. “We were on-and-off for a time but we just always found our way back to each other and I used to think that meant something but I never demanded more and I never expected you to do more, and that says something, too, doesn’t it?” 

“I love you, Jin, and I know for a fact that at one point, you loved me, too,” she continues. “But if it was really enough and you wanted a future life together, then you would’ve introduced me to your parents and gone public about us but you never did. And that’s on me - loving you so much that I chose to be blind to all the signs. I knew what I was to you, and I wasn’t someone you were going to fight for.”

“But that doesn’t change anything, does it? Hearing what you wanted from me and not being able to do that… I’m sorry that I wasn’t better to you, that I let this continue on,” he mutters, the guilt multiplying at hearing what she’d been thinking.

“I took what I could get,” she manages a smile. “You’re a hard man to forget, Kim Seokjin. Anything from you was already much more than I could ever dream of. You take care of me in a lot of ways and I just… I knew the dream was gonna end at some point. I’m lucky it even lasted this long.”

Jin covers his face with his hands. It would’ve been easier if Seri was angry or even more hurt, but he realizes that would just serve him so he’d feel vindicated somehow, that she could express her anger towards him and he’d feel he’s paid his dues. The fact that she’s as understanding as this - which in hindsight is how she naturally is - somewhat makes it harder for him. Now he has to hate himself even more.

“You don’t have to hate yourself, you know? I know that’s what you’re feeling,” Seri pulls him out of his thoughts. “In all the years that I’ve listened to you talk, I noticed you always do that, and you don’t have to. You’re the last person who deserves that kind of hate. I don’t, so why would you?”

“I feel like I deserve it because I screwed up.”

“Because you agreed to a marriage with a woman who let you keep me, right? And then you fell for her.” She catches Jin off guard, his wide eyes telling her so, but she keeps going. “That's why it’s so hard for you, isn’t it? Because it’s your wife who’s made you realize what’s been missing with me all this time.”

“How… how did you know?”

“You never cooked for me, did you know that?”

“I, uh… I never did?”

“No,” Seri giggles. “And that’s fine; I probably wouldn’t have appreciated it as much since everything tastes good to me and food is just… food. But it’s more than that to you. And ___ appreciates that. I don’t know if you noticed but you’ve mentioned it a few times, cooking for her. I guess that’s one way I knew.”

“See, I didn’t even realize it. I’m so–”

“I told you once I love the fried chicken from the stall near the office and you used to buy it for me every week until I found a new favorite. I told you that I’m allergic to seafood so every time we used to go out then, you always made sure with the chef that the food was safe for me to eat. Whenever I was craving for something, you always got it for me,” she narrates. “We never had enough time, that's why everything was quick and simple, but that doesn’t mean you never cared. You always did, it’s just different with her, is what I’m saying. You feel like yourself with her; you get to be yourself with her for more reasons than just me being a rank and file staff in your company. You laugh more freely, you get to express your care in more intimate ways than just buying food from the nearby restaurant. She lets you do that, and I’d be the selfish one if I said that doesn’t make me happy.”

Seri takes his hand, knowing he’ll need more convincing that things are okay, that he doesn’t have to blame himself for things he doesn’t have control over. She couldn’t control her feelings for him, that’s why she kept coming back, that’s why she kept letting him pull her along for 5 whole years. It’s the same way with him and how he couldn’t control his feelings when it came to you.

“I honestly didn’t know how much longer we would’ve gone on with the arrangement, and I don’t mean just you and me being a secret, but going on with this affair when your wife is so difficult not to like,” she continues. “I hate to think that this might be hard for her, too.”

“She, uh, she doesn’t know how I feel, actually,” Jin sighs. “There’s this man she’s loved for years and I think she’s waiting on him and I honestly don’t know where that leaves me.”

“Well, that kinda makes me feel better,” she chuckles, immediately correcting herself. “Not in the way you think; I want you to be happy, Jin, more than you know,” she takes his hand again. “But it’s different if she was already waiting on you, you know? I feel like letting me go makes you more free to explore what you truly feel about her, and that means you could be more sure.”

It’s what appeases Jin somehow, and he didn’t expect that Seri would be the one to make him feel a tad bit better about the situation. And she’s able to make it even more sense for him. He wants to be free enough to know just how much he feels for you, and that would allow him to do more, be more for you, and give you the leeway to make whatever decision you have to make. It’s not a sure shot, this whole thing with you and him. But he feels it’s more genuine than anything.

“I guess I’ll have to thank you, too, then,” he finally smiles. “Come to think of it, you know me just as much as Yoongi and my brother do.”

“That’s a badge of honor I’d gladly wear,” she giggles. “But that also means that I know you didn’t mean for things to happen like this. You’re a lot of things, Kim Seokjin. An asshole isn’t one of them.”

The words sound familiar, and it’s a breath of fresh air to hear it from Seri this time.

“Thanks. That’s actually a compliment.” 

He breathes a sigh of relief, and Seri takes the opportunity to tell him something, too.

“Since I was sort of expecting this at some point, I’ve also decided on resigning from the company,” she says, catching Jin by surprise again.

“What?! Seri, this shouldn’t keep you from working there and–”

“It just isn’t for me,” she cuts in. “I haven’t been happy professionally because doing support work doesn’t allow for the creativity that I’m craving. I really just stayed because it was the only way I could see you everyday, even if it was just at the lobby or the elevator. Pretty silly, isn’t it?” She chuckles. “So in a way, this is freeing, too. I chose to hold off on other things and that’s on me, so you don’t have to feel sorry at all. And this isn’t a swipe at your company, okay? So don’t stress about that, too.”

“I’ll try.”

“You will, and that’s the only thing I’ll ask of you.”

“So you’re really leaving, huh?” He says as he turns over his phone once you start ringing him. Seri sees it and smiles.

“There are a few places I’m eyeing around Seoul so yes, I’ve really thought about it.”

“What do I tell her?” Jin asks, as his phone rings again.

“I’m afraid that’s all on you now,” she smiles. “Just don’t screw it up, okay?”

“I hope I won’t,” he smiles back. “Thank you again and I’m going to miss you.”

“I’ll miss you, too. Maybe I’ll see you around? And happily with your wife, yes?”

“I hope so.” He returns her hug and looks at her one last time before he runs to his car, the biggest sigh of relief escaping his mouth. 

His smile grows when he sees your text messages, asking if he’s okay since the rain is pretty bad and Mrs. Kang had said he’s out. The feeling of being able to feel for you with no guilt is different, and he can’t deny the feeling of excitement of finally being able to imagine what life could truly be like with you; he just hopes that in your heart, there’s a space for him somewhere.

And on a rainy Saturday evening, at least there’s one heart that’s soaring. 

Back in the apartment that Jin had just left is a heart that’s breaking. But things need to break sometimes, Seri thinks, otherwise the cracks would be left unnoticed, and that’s not a way to love and be loved. At least in breaking, she gets to rebuild; at least in breaking, there’s a chance for her to feel whole once again.

“Shit!” You yelp, caressing the toe that you stubbed on the table after the almost-shock of your life.

“Are you okay?” Jin asks worriedly on the other end of the line. He decided to call you to answer your multiple texts asking if he’s okay since the rain had worried you and he might be out driving.

“Yeah, just a little accident but I’m in one piece,” you chuckle. “But you, are you okay?” You wonder. “I can imagine it must’ve been hard for both of you.”

“I feel better than I imagined,” he sighs. “Yeah, well, things came up on her end and I’ve been too busy, too. We decided to just end things than let it drag on.”

He hates lying, especially to you, but he doesn’t know what to say that doesn’t involve telling you how he feels. 

“Oh, okay then. I’m sorry I’m not there for you right now,” you say, and he can already imagine your pouty face.

“Don’t worry about it. You’re with your family and that’s what matters so just enjoy there, okay?” He says. “I’ll message you when I get home.”

“Okay, be careful!” You yell before hanging up.

“Is your face always that miserable after a phone call with your husband?” Hoseok asks with an arched brow, the bitterness from the situation no doubt still making him a little cold towards Jin; you wonder how he’ll react with the news.

“No, I never am,” you say, giving him room next to you on the couch. “He and his girlfriend broke up, actually. So I’m just more sad for him.”

“Are you really?” your brother turns to you with unbelieving eyes. 

“Uh, why wouldn’t I be?” You furrow your eyebrows. “She’s a woman he cares about and who makes him happy.”

“Is that something he said or you just assumed because he’s been sneaking around with her for the past 5 years with no real intention of actually getting together?”

“I shall rephrase by saying that yes, I would assume because they’ve been a pair for 5 years and that means something. I can’t imagine what having to let her go feels like for him.”

“You would if you’d actually do it yourself, you know? Since there’s a man you’ve been waiting around for for 5 years yet it’s only left you with a broken heart.”

“You really don’t like any of the men in my life, don’t you?” You pout.

“Aish, come here,” Hoseok pulls you into a hug that you immediately drown in. “Jimin and Jungkook are the only men I trust to not break your heart. I trusted Namjoon, too, but every time I feel like he’ll come around, he just always puts something else above you. And I hate seeing you second to his dreams all the time.”

“You know I’d never ask him to give that up for me,” you reason.

“I know, and he knows that. And maybe he’s subconsciously taking advantage of that, knowing he’s disappointing you but never enough for you to let him go. And that’s not fair to either of you - your love for each other is holding you both back. That’s kind of sad, isn’t it?”

“When you put it that way, it does,” you sigh. “I just don’t know a life that isn’t me loving him, you know? I’ve loved him for years and I feel like it’s all I know.”

“Correction - what you know is loving him from afar; there’s a difference. Sure, it’s still love, but it’s not the kind that can sustain you; it’s not the love that makes you happy, that makes you free,” Hoseok, your ever-wise brother says. “Love should make you feel free, not bound to a promise that you don’t know when will be fulfilled, or if it even will be.”

“He said we’ll talk about it though, when we meet again.”

“Didn’t he say that the last time, too? And then what happened? He asked you to run to Italy with him on a whim just because?” Hoseok reminds you.

“We didn’t expect to see each other. I mean, I wasn’t sure it was right to see him on a trip that my husband’s family paid for,” you shrug. 

“Things still should’ve been clear for both of you then. Did you still want him when you saw him? Did he still want you when he saw you? What did you get out of seeing him then? Another promise?”

Your mind is going hazy and suddenly you’re unable to properly think. You know your brother means well; it just hurts a little bit, but he also makes so much sense. 

Your sullen face tells him that there’s more on your mind but it’s all too much right now. Hoseok knows how much Namjoon means to you, and you have all the reasons to love the man; no one else has sacrificed as much as he has for you, and that will always mean the world to you, to your friends, and to your family.

But love’s intensity changes over time, so does its meaning. It doesn’t mean it stops being love, though, but it could diminish, and for fear of the unknown, people tend to hold onto what they believed was the best of that love, even if it was once upon a time ago. 

“Letting him go doesn’t make you weak or unworthy, okay?” Hoseok says as he hugs you tighter. “It just means you’re choosing yourself, and you always, always come first.”

For the first time in a while, you couldn’t wait to get back to Seoul from your parents’ house in Gwangju. After your quick conversation with Jin last night, you haven’t spoken much to him. You wanted to give him today to iron out his feelings or to give him space if he needs it, while assuring him that you’re just there if he needs you. 

Hoseok takes the train back to the capital with you before doing last minute errands and then heading to the airport for his evening flight back to Tokyo. As the creative director for a fashion magazine based there, he’s always busy and rarely has time to visit your parents, so he does as much as he can whenever he’s here. 

You appreciate his wisdom; he’s always been the headstrong and emotionally mature one among the 3 of you growing up, and you and your younger sister, Miyeon, are incredibly lucky to have Hoseok on your side all the time. 

But he’s honestly making you think too much, asking questions you’re not yet ready to face, such as what Jin breaking up Seri would mean to you and to your grand plan of separation after some time. You did say that the divorce was a way for him to be rid of you so he could be with his girlfriend, but now they’re over, it’s not like he could actively look for anyone. You’re his wife, after all, the only woman he spends a substantial amount of time with.

And what about Jin’s healing process? How does he get over something like this? Where does that leave you? 

There was also, of course, the question that shook you a little, although you tried to not let it show. 

“Shot in the dark question,” Hoseok had asked. “Do you, by any chance, feel something more for your husband?”

No was the safest and immediate response, and you wouldn’t be completely lying. Jin is a lot of great things - handsome, brilliant and hardworking, funny in his own ways, adorably annoying sometimes, and incredibly caring. He’s comfortable and freeing, and it’s those two words that scare you a little because of how you’ve never really felt it before. 

This is a man who happens to be your boss and the President of your company yet it’s comfortable to be with him. Clearly, all the times you’d talked about food and every other mundane and deep thing in the world, all the times you’d done things out of habit with and for him, tell you exactly that. 

This is a man you were arranged to marry yet it’s freeing to be with him. Because in between all the moments that you share, the trust and honesty and safety let you feel that you can do anything, that you can be anything, and he just makes it extra fun and worthwhile.

But these are questions you aren’t ready to face yet. You don’t know the whole story of Jin and Seri and even if you did, that’s 5 years of memories to get over, and you can imagine just how hard that must be. You don’t want to confuse him, nor be confused yourself, so you’ll let him heal and move on however he likes and give him as much time as he needs.

Wanting to give him a bit of comfort, you make him dinner - mul naengmyeon and some boiled pork belly. You got some hotteok on the way back, too, and you hope it would cheer him up a little. 

He messaged earlier about spending the day with his family. Geonhoo and Ji-hoo wanted to watch a movie and then go to the arcades so he, Taehyung, and Hyun-a played games to get them their stuffed toys. 

Jin had said that he’s too tired to stay over at his sister’s place and wanted to go home instead and when he opens the door and smells the broth, his face lights up, even more when you look up at him with a bright smile on your face. 

“Hi,” you say, walking up to him.

“Hey,” he replies, mindlessly pulling you in for a hug. 

You’re quite surprised but you hug him back. He’s not really an affectionate person as far as you know, so this might mean that he really needs care and support right now. You caress his back and hear a satisfied sigh leave his lips before he turns to look at you.

“Sorry, that was so sudden. I should’ve asked,” he chuckles shyly.

“It’s fine. I can imagine that it’s been a tough 2 days, and no need to ask, okay?” You say shyly this time.

“Okay,” he pinches your cheeks and then looks over you. “Did you make me dinner?”

“Yes,” you say excitedly, pulling his hand towards the kitchen counter. “I made your favorite and bought hotteok, too. What do you want to drink? We’ve got some soju, whiskey, wine?”

“Just juice is fine,” he smiles. 

You nod and serve him. You both start dinner and talk about your respective weekends with your families. You don’t want to ask about Seri, not wanting to sound intrusive, but during a long beat of silence, he feels you constantly glance at him and he brings it up himself.

“So, uh, Seri and I decided to end things,” he says, thinking of just letting this idea stay and linger. 

“I’m so sorry. You said something came up on her end. Is she okay?”

“Yeah, just… things. But she said she’ll be fine.”

“Will you be?” You ask, wanting nothing more than for him to feel better already, even if you know that’s not possible right now.

He nods in response. “I’ll be okay so don’t worry about me.”

“I’m here if you want to talk though,” you place your hand on top of his. “I can make your favorite food or buy you some. Maybe watch sports on mute with you or maybe, uh, go golfing or fishing with you or something.”

He laughs at the last bit, given how much you complain that his hobbies are so boring and take too much patience that you just don’t have. You used to tease him that he’s a “rich man” who can find other “rich men” to do those “rich people shit” with and he was always amused at how you said it.

“Nah, I don’t want to bore you with my hobbies,” he teases. 

“Yeah, I’ll probably be a terrible companion so you can ask Yoongi or Taehyung for those,” you chuckle. “But really, anything else is fine with me. I’m your wife and your friend and I’ll be here for you.”

“Hmm, we’ve come such a long way, huh?” He says.

“Yeah, and to think we used to not mind each other much,” you respond, recalling your ‘more like housemates than spouses’ status for a time. “But you deserve to be happy more than anyone I know, so do what you need to move forward, okay?”

The irony isn’t lost on him and it actually hurts Jin more than anything. Seeing you try to be his friend is what he needs and doesn’t need at the same time. He wants you to hold him but he can’t tell you he’s breaking because of you and not because of the woman he left behind. He didn’t think that all the wrong decisions he made months ago would catch up to him this soon.

“How about you, are you feeling better? Physically and otherwise?”

You’re quite unsure how to answer. On one hand, there’s the looming thought of Namjoon that you’ve been questioning again since your brother brought it up last night. And then there’s him, the man you’re married to, and where it would leave you now that he’s no longer with Seri. 

What about the plans of divorcing? Who would you both run to now when he’s single and you’re not quite sure where you stand in Namjoon’s life? Do you even want to divorce with Jin? Are you mistaking this feeling of comfort and freedom for something that’s natural, or something that really isn’t? You have a habit of seeing something that isn’t there anyway, according to Hoseok. What makes this any different? 

“A little,” you settle for that. “My brother and I were just talking about Namjoon and stuff and he agrees that I do need to talk with him soon and see how things will be for us moving forward.”

“Do you think you two would work out?” Jin nervously asks. 

“There’s a kind of love that you just can’t shake off,” you sigh. “It’s consuming in a way and sometimes all you need is that one moment when you’re given a choice and then the decision is clear as day, like a coin flip - you know what you want the moment it’s up in the air. Like sometimes I think back to him asking me to run away with him was his moment of telling me he still wanted me, you know? But that’s what I choose to believe even if my brother or Jungkook thinks otherwise. There could still be a chance for me and Namjoon, I think; it just depends on what and how.”

You hope you’re being vague enough. You’re not in the business of dumping all your feelings and emotions about him to Jin when he’s the one in pain right now.

Jin, on the other hand, breaks even more. But he manages a smile that seems enough to assure you. And you both leave it at that. There’s him, hoping for you, and there’s you, hoping for someone else.

You remove your coat and hang it in the locker room of the lab where one of the teams is finalizing the recipes for the company’s new line of plant-based “meatballs” to cater to a wider market. You’ve been working on this with them, as Kim Foods Inc. aims to expand its clientele through various ways - one is through the fusion of other flavors, and another is through healthier options. 

There’s even a collaboration project with a vegan vlogger coming up, something you and Seokjin worked on after that one night you were on social media for fun, and your teams have been in contact with her for a while. There are lots of things happening and there’s that giddy feeling of how food just excites you. You could even say that the trip to France intensified that feeling, as you and Jin found yourselves exploring alleys and still being surprised with the new flavors and presentations of the dishes you discovered.

You’ve got a lot on your mind, as you have to go through the reports and presentations of the different teams when Jimin spams your group chat and asks to meet everyone for lunch in an hour. 

“Work gossip,” he says, “and I need all of you there.”

You meet him in a nearby cafe with Jungkook, who literally just got out of bed, and Dara, who truly looks like a different person because the research institute she works at has a strict dress code. 

“So what’s the gossip that Kook and I, who do not work in your company, somehow may be interested in?” She asks.

“Seri turned in her resignation today,” Jimin says. 

“What!” All 3 of you whisper-yell.

“And she’s using her leaves so she’ll be at the office for just a couple of days until she’s gone for good,” Jimin continues then turns to you. “What happened? Did you scare her off or something?”

“Yah!” You smack his arm, frowning at his accusation. “Of course not! But uh, maybe it has something to do with their breakup.”

“They broke up?!” The 3 of them whisper-yell this time, and you flick each of their foreheads for being too loud. 

“Yeah, uh, just last Saturday,” you sigh. “I didn’t wanna say anything yet since Jin was a little vague about it but I didn’t think it would lead to her resigning. She’s been in the company for over 5 years.”

“So? People her age don’t usually stay in one place for that long anyway,” Dara says, turning to Jimin now. “But do you know why? Does it have anything to do with the breakup? Do you think it has anything to do with the breakup?”

“I would assume yes?” Jimin shrugs. “ l mean, I’m sure it was hard to see her boyfriend with his wife, especially after VP Kim’s wedding. Our friend over here and Mr. President looked like a happy couple. I’d be intimidated if I were her.”

“Thanks for acting like I’m not here,” you frown. “But wait, how did you even know?”

“___, it’s like you and Jimin didn’t become best friends because he’s the company flirt,” Jungkook laughs, and you nod because it’s true. 

“Correction, I’m the company flirt and company matchmaker and company best friend. Everybody goes to me for anything and everything. That's why I initially doubted that Jin-Seri thing because nobody knew, including me,” he explains. “But anyway, Aecha’s from their team and we’re buddies whenever Sales has its monthly meeting with the VP’s management support and she told me. But she doesn’t know why. Apparently, all Seri said was that it was ‘time to move on.’”

“Well, if they broke up then that’s probably why,” Dara says. “What did Jin say?”

“He just said something came up on her end and that he’s been busy but shit, I hope it’s not because of me,” you groan, covering your face with your hands. “I tried to be so careful during the wedding but she’d like, just be there. There was even a time when someone was saying how good Jin and I looked together and for sure, Seri heard it.”

“Hey, why are you the one stressing about it?” Jungkook nudges your knee. “Of course you had to be all couple-y with him. There were hundreds of guests there; it’d look shady if you weren’t. And did you ever think that maybe she’s the one going after you both that night? Like, taking the knife herself and stabbing her heart! Sometimes people want it to hurt all at once rather than slowly, you know?”

“I don’t know her enough for that,” you sigh. “What if I talk to her and ask? Just to make sure it wasn’t because of me.”

“No, that’s the second stupid decision you’re making if you really do it,” Jimin scolds. “The first was letting him keep her, obviously. ___, just stay out of it, that’s their issue. It’d just be sus since you and Seri never interacted like, the VP’s office doesn’t have much to do with product development.”

Obviously, he makes a lot of sense. You just want to clarify things with her just in case, although you’re also not quite sure what that would do. 

“Also, if you do talk to her and she says it has something to do with you, what would you do?” Dara counters. “It’s not like you can do anything. Plus, Jimin’s right, we were all there. You and Jin looked like the happy couple you’re supposed to be. I’d have a hard time believing you were faking it, if you even were.”

Your friends are right. It’s not your place. It would just cause more drama if you spoke to her, so you do the most sound thing - ask your husband instead. 

You’re jittery all throughout the afternoon after lunch. Jin has multiple meetings and you learn he’d be free by 5PM, so you enter his room and not mind that Yoongi is there, too. You know that your husband has been confiding in him and if anything, he might even know.

“Hey, do you want to grab dinner tonight? I’m suddenly craving some—”

“Is it because of me? Why she’s resigning?” You interject, wanting to know right away. “Did I make her feel uncomfortable during the wedding? Was it something I did? Maybe I said something that—”

“___, where is this coming from? Why are you worrying about this?” Jin frowns. 

“Because it can’t be a coincidence that you both break up and then she resigns right away, unless it was a bad breakup and in that case, you were probably hurting more than you led on and are probably hurting more now and—”

“___, look at me,” he says, cupping your cheeks so you’d calm down. “That was her decision, okay? No one made her do it.”

“Then why did she? I hate to think it was because of me, I mean—”

“It was her parents,” Jin blurts, and Yoongi’s eyes widen in shock and anger behind you where you don’t see. “I mean, she had to go home to Ulsan and take care of them, that’s why she had to resign.”

It’s one of the biggest lies he’s ever made and he’s making it to you. 

“Is that why you had to break up?”

“Uh, partly. I mean,” he glances at Yoongi who’s already shaking his head to not make things worse but Jin can’t turn back from this, so he continues. “It’s been hard either way since I’ve been busier and, yeah. We can’t really do long-distance with our situation so… that’s why.”

“Ah, shit. I was so worried. I didn’t want her to feel bad after the wedding because of how we looked,” you breathe a sigh of relief. “I kept thinking when I found out from Jimin that she resigned because of me, that you guys broke up because of me and I can’t have that, I won’t be able to stomach that.”

Jin can’t hate himself any more than he does right now, but one thing he realized that he can’t stomach is seeing you stressed and anxious about it. He doesn’t want you to blame yourself; he realizes it’s how he always felt. His initial reaction when it comes to you is to calm you down, to make sure you breathe, to make sure you’re able to just live and enjoy without worries. That’s what he wants for you. That’s what he wants with you, and if he needs to burden himself right now so you don’t, then he will.

“You’re okay, it’s okay,” he assures you, hugging you because he needs the comfort, too, especially with Yoongi’s look of disapproval that’s burning him to the core.

But you hug back, tightly even, completely forgetting that his secretary is there witnessing this display of affection, that is, until he clears his throat.

“Oops, sorry. This hugging thing is new,” you try to explain, although you’re unsure why. 

“Are you embarrassed?!” Jin makes light of it. 

“I’m embarrassed for Yoongi, actually,” you chuckle, but don’t think much of his stoic expression. “Anyway, I just wanted to make sure. So, uh, are we still good for dinner? What did you say you’re craving?”

“Curry,” Jin responds. “And, yeah. We can head out at 7, is that okay?”

“Sure! I’ll see you here, then. Bye!”

You leave a completely flustered Jin in your wake who collapses on his seat when the door closes.

“You fucking messed up,” Yoongi says, and it’s the curse word that he rarerly says that lets Jin know he’s done the worst possible thing - lie to you, and brush this whole thing under the rug only because he’s scared of what he feels, of what wanting you means, and not being with you at the end of the day because of it. 

It’s on the way home later that evening after dinner when Jin tells you that he’ll be heading to Japan for a few days. 

“Work?” You turn to him, confused. 

You checked your shared calendar earlier, which has actually been very helpful, and he didn’t seem to have any trips coming up.

“Partly. I’ll get some work done but it’s more of a leisure thing” he says. “I like to do that on my own, remember?”

“Right, and just walk around and eat whatever you see. It’s a relaxing thing, you said,” you smile. “Golfing and fishing not doing it for you?”

“Nah, I… I just need to be away for a bit.”

He hopes you don’t think he’s pushing you away. He doesn’t want to, but after you left his office earlier, he shared the most intimidating and most silent 5 minutes of his life with Yoongi, who basically expressed his sheer disappointment with a burning look. 

“I just told you not to screw it up, and what the fuck did you do?” His friend had said. “What if the lie comes back to bite you? You kept saying that you haven’t been fair to Seri, and now lying about why she resigned is fair? Make it make sense, Jin. You’ve never been this messed up.”

And it was true. Jin isn’t used to this. He had one serious girlfriend who left him and he never dared to try again. The dating scene isn’t his thing; he’s somewhat lucky that Seri even took an interest way beyond his looks and his money. In fact, if he didn’t have those, he doesn’t think he’d even get a conversation going that isn’t about business or the stock market. 

But more than the socializing, it’s the basic management of emotions and issues that he seems to suck the most at. He tried and failed at those things; now, he’s a 35-year old man who can’t seem to say the right things and who can’t seem to make the right decisions. You both lied to his family, and now he’s lying to you, when it’s his feelings for you that got him deeper in this web of lies he finds himself in. 

“What are you gonna do?” Yoongi had asked.

“I don’t know. I need space to figure it out,” Jin replied. “I need time to lessen the anger I have for myself. Maybe if I leave for a bit, I won’t be so tempted to tell ___ everything.”

“But isn’t that what you need to do? Tell her everything? How do you think you’re going to resolve this? By staying away?”

“She doesn’t want me, Yoongi,” Jin almost banged his head on his desk. “She’s still in love with Namjoon; she’s waiting for him to come back. Or ask her to run away again, I don’t know. But she doesn’t want me and I want to be with her. So where does that leave me?”

“I don’t know, but definitely not where you are right now, because where you are is a mess, Jin.”

He’d never agreed with his friend more, but honestly, Jin doesn’t know what else to do but to just stay away for a bit. All he wants is to hold you, to be held by you, but he can’t ask that of you without making you feel like some rebound. He knows you’d comfort him however you think you need to, and he wants that, but he can’t fall into it knowing that you don’t want the same thing, that it wouldn’t mean the same as it would mean to him. 

“I understand.” Your voice takes him out of his thoughts. “I’m sure you need time to just get away and get over things, move on from them and all.”

“I’ll be back better,” he smiles at you. “I know I had a lot of baggage coming from that relationship and I don’t want to keep carrying it anymore.”

There’s something about the way Jin speaks that’s different, like there’s certainty but something more that you can’t quite pinpoint, even with the tinge of sadness in it, as if he’d wronged you in some way even if you think there’s nothing he should feel sorry about. But he’s been through a break up. Anyone who does is bound to feel all kinds of different emotions that they may not yet fully understand. And you’ll support him in whatever way, even if he’ll be a few hundred miles away. 

“So that’s what this trip will be about? Ridding yourself of that baggage?” You ask.

“Yeah, pretty much. I know it’s still an unconventional marriage and you’re still waiting on someone,” he says, his heart aching at the words, especially as you look at him and take it as fact, “but I’m still your husband, and I have a feeling I haven’t been a particularly good one.”

“Don’t be silly,” you scoot closer to him. “You made sure I had an amazing time in France and not once made me feel uncomfortable, especially during the wedding the other week. And you took care of me when I was sick, even if you may have overreacted just a tiny bit,” you chuckle. “I don’t know what your standard of a good husband is, but you’re my standard, all things considered, at least. I mean, you’re my first and only one so far but that still counts.”

“You know, you’re actually pretty good at comforting me,” he teases.

“Oh, please. I make you smile, I make you laugh,” you wink at him. “I make you happy. I’m fucking amazing, Jin.”

You’re both laughing now as you tease and tickle each other until the car stops and you’re back home. He opens the door and helps you out. You both walk up the stairs and stand by your doors, almost unwilling to say good night and separate.

But you do it first. 

“You have an early flight. Rest well, and then message me when you get there, okay?”

“I will. You’ll be bombarded with voice messages, that’s for sure.”

You giggle, but he doesn’t miss the sparkle in your eyes. “I’ll be looking forward to them. Good night, Jin.”

He smiles, stopping himself from walking over and hugging you. “Good night, ___.”

It’s been 4 days since Jin left for Japan and he seems to be having fun. He’s been treating your message thread like his personal food blog because of all the photos he’s been sending, complete with restaurant or street market or stall details, description of the plating and the taste, and his rating. Those are pretty much all he’s been sending, as well as voice messages every night just narrating how his day was, as if all he wants to do is talk while you listen and you like it; you like hearing his voice, even if sometimes you can hear him chewing and it’s probably a midnight snack he’s munching on. 

It makes you feel close to him and somehow, that saddens you a little because while he talks a lot about his trip, he doesn’t talk about how he’s feeling, and you think that he’s trying to mask or cover up whatever it is that’s underneath with all these food explorations and fun experiences because he doesn’t want to talk about it. 

And now he’s away and it’s today when Jimin finally gets you to admit that you’re missing your husband a lot more than you expected you would.

“I don’t know, maybe because I know he’s sad and I’m not there to make him happy or something, you know? That’s normal, right?” You ask your best friend over lunch at a nearby restaurant. 

“Hmm, seems like a romantic type of thing,” he shrugs. 

“No, it isn’t,” you argue.

“Is it different from how you miss Namjoon?”

You think a little. “Sort of. I mean, Joon isn’t here and he’s not here. Jin isn’t here but he’s here, that sort of thing.”

“Wow, how poetic, ___. Keep that up, you’re becoming like the man who left you and I don’t like it,” Jimin rolls his eyes.

“Yah!” You smack him. “Take me seriously!”

“I am! You’re the one who’s like, I miss my husband but no, it isn’t a romantic thing,” he mocks you. “I actually have the answer. You miss him differently from how you miss Namjoon because you’ve accepted that man being away; it’s become a fact of life at this point. He belongs out there in the world, in the wild, but you’re here. And you’re missing Jin, your husband, because whether you want to admit it or not, you’ve come to like him being next to you, like, that’s where he belongs.”

You sigh, knowing that Jimin’s right. You hate that all your best friends always make sense. And as per their consensus, you’re supposed to be the smartest one of the bunch.

“Is it so hard to admit that? Why are you being so dramatic?” 

“I don’t know. I don’t want him to misinterpret anything,” you pout.

“Is that really it? Or are you afraid that if you do so much as show affection that isn’t for show anymore, it might actually feel right? And that somehow scares you because why? That’s what I don’t understand. He’s not with Seri anymore. There’s no other person to worry about.”

“Me! I’m who I should be worried about,” you state. “He just got over a breakup.”

“And you think you’ll be a rebound?” Jimin arches his brow. “Now why would that affect you so much if you don’t care that much?”

“Duh, self-respect,” you roll your eyes.

“Okay then. Don’t tell him you miss him, be casual when he gets back, don’t comfort him by hugging him and shit. Easy,” Jimin challenges.

“But I want to hug him! We’re on that level already!” You whine. “And I want to make him his favorite food and maybe watch him play golf or something if it’s gonna relax him.” 

“Ugh, where’s Dara to smack you when we need her?”

“Hey!” You pout. “I’m… I don’t know. I don’t think I like him but I miss him, I’m happy when he’s around, I enjoy myself when I’m with him.”

“Maybe you don’t like him yet, or don’t want to admit it or whatever, but you’re at least on that track. And let yourself continue on, why not?” Jimin turns to you, holding your hands this time. “I know you’ll say Namjoon but he’s a distant star at this point, and you don’t know when or if he’ll come back. You have a husband who clearly cares about you. Whatever it is Jin feels, I don’t know, but I don’t think it’d be a long shot to say that he’s on that track, too,” Jimin continues. “And if he isn’t, he’s bound to. He’s free now, ___. Don’t be the one to hold him back from you this time.”

Osaka has always been Jin’s favorite place to go to in Japan. Even if his meetings are mostly in Tokyo, he makes sure to spend at least a day in the port city. He’s been here so many times yet there’s always something new to discover. On this trip alone, he’s gone bar hopping, on market eating sprees, and restaurant tours, allowing his time to absorb and appreciate the dishes to give him the peace he needs. 

Merely sending you photos of all he’s been devouring has worked. The nightly voice messages help him process his day without hearing much from you because he knows that hearing you respond to him will make him want to just pack up and go back home. 

That’s what he realized he likes the most - not just you, but how you are to him and how he is with you. 

When he was still the Vice President, he barely interacted with you; the VP’s office is tasked more with externals after all. As President, he has more involvement with the products, and that means more direct interactions with product research and development, your department. It wasn’t until then when he’d taken notice of you - how you were whenever you engaged with him, and that brilliance and competence, of course. There was always an air of confidence and playfulness, which he thinks is natural to you, and this showed even more when you got married. 

You have such passion for life but you also don’t take it too seriously. And that’s how you are with him - you care, but you like to tease him, to make fun of him, to rile him up and make him laugh, and you let him do the same with you. It’s what he misses the most - your jokes, your silly comments, and your reminders for him to eat and to rest well. 

And so not giving you a chance to actually talk with him has worked for the most part. It’s the fourth day since he’s been away, and while he’s survived all this time, he still can’t get rid of that crushing feeling of missing you. Being away has helped somehow. He’s becoming a little more forgiving of himself; his conversations with strangers bring to light important things, and there’s Yoongi too, surprisingly.

“Is the trip serving its purpose?” His friend asks over the phone, the only person Jin actually converses with due to work matters.

“I guess. Well, I hate myself less,” Jin admits.

“Yeah, I hate you less, too.”

“Gee, how comforting, Yoongi. I really don’t miss you right now.”

“I do. And I’m sorry for being harsh,” the younger man sighs. “I just hate seeing you like this. I should’ve said something when you and ___ decided on this arrangement and then lied to your family about it. It just didn’t seem right, like, something not good was bound to happen and now you’re here.”

“Why didn’t you say anything then?”

“It wasn’t my place.”

“And now it is?” Jin chuckles.

“It still isn't. But I also kind of don’t care because whether I acknowledge it or not, you are my friend, and I don’t want to see you lose ___. I know she makes you happy, and it’s something you haven’t been for a long time.”

“That’s incredibly validating but also incredibly scary,” Jin sighs. “I miss her so much. I keep thinking about her the whole time I’m here. Have you seen her? Is she doing okay?”

“Well, you asked me to pick her up from work everyday so yes, I do. And she’s fine. She asks about you a lot. Kinda weird for your wife to be asking me, your secretary, how you’re doing. Don’t you talk to her?”

“I send her voice messages but I don’t talk with her,” Jin explains. “A stupid part of me thought that maybe out here, I could sort of feel less for her but no, I don’t. And speaking with her will just make all the feelings even more real.”

“Well, are you gonna come home soon, at least? I doubt that feeling less for her is going to work.”

“I’ll probably be here for another few days,” Jin says. I–” 

Jin checks his phone to see you calling. It’s the first time you even tried, as you’ve been quite busy at work, too, and you aren't even the texting and calling type. 

“Wait, she’s calling. I’ll call you back.”

Jin picks up the phone after a few rings. “___, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, it is. How about you? You good?” You answer.

“Everything’s okay and yes, I’m good. I’m full every day and I’m really enjoying just going around.”

“You’re coming back, right?” 

There’s a tremble in your voice that makes him worry, especially as you ask the question again. There’s fear in there, and nervousness. You’ve been waiting for a man to come back to you and now Jin is the one who’s away, not calling, not bothering to talk with you, and he hates that in his desire to make sense of his feelings so he won’t make any more mistakes, he does just that.

“Of course, I am,” he says, trying his best to assure you, but his panic sets in, as he doesn't want you to think that there’s a reason why he doesn’t want to be next to you.

“Okay, good,” you sigh in relief. “I just wanted to make sure. And uh, imissyoukbye!”

You hang up and Jin suddenly feels dizzy. Did you just… say you miss him and then hang up?

He feels his ears heat up and a smile graces his face. He calls Yoongi right after.

“I’m leaving tonight. I’ll send you my flight details. Have me picked up at the airport. Bye!”

It’s 1AM by the time Jin arrives home. He’s quite exhausted; he woke up early today for a trek and went from one market to another. The earliest flight tonight only had economy seats and he took it, and it felt so uncomfortable for his long legs that he barely got to sleep. 

But whatever he had to do, he did, because he wanted to get home to you right away. He couldn’t get that sound of your voice off his head, as if you were worried that he wasn’t going to go back, even if that was impossible. 

But he gets it. He’s been left behind before and that feeling stayed with him. It’s why he never took anyone after his ex seriously because he was scared he’d be left again so he’s usually the one who leaves, and that’s similar to what you’re feeling with Namjoon, and Jin hates to think that even for the briefest moment, you thought that he wasn’t gonna come back, too.

He’s here now, though, and he gathers the confidence to knock on your door and gently open it to see if you’re still awake. 

He’s surprised to see that you still are, tucked under the covers while a baseball game is playing on mute. That’s his thing, but he supposes at some point, you’d be taking up each other’s habits, too.

You’re alerted by his presence when you hear him calling you, and you turn to him with surprised yet questioning eyes at his arrival.

“You didn’t tell me you were coming home tonight,” you say, sitting up. “How was your flight?”

“Good, and well, I wasn’t supposed to come home until this weekend but uh, I just decided a few hours ago that I should.”

“What? Why?”

He thinks if he couldn’t be honest then, then he should be now.

“You said you missed me and I did, too,” he says shyly, looking away. 

You think it’s absolutely adorable; you just want to squish his bread cheeks until you’ve milked the cuteness out of them.

“So, uh, all you needed was my embarrassing declaration, huh?” You nudge his knee, as he’s now seated on the edge of your bed. “You should’ve told me, I should’ve said it sooner.”

Jin laughs and covers your face with his large hand, trying to keep you from seeing him flustered. 

“Anyway, why are you still awake? And watching baseball on mute?”

You shrug. “Couldn’t really sleep. And I was waiting for your voice message.”

“Well I’m here now,” he smiles. “What if I wash up first and then stay with you until you fall asleep?”

You nod and smile. “Sounds good.”

Jin takes a shower and returns to your room with an empty space next to you. He lies down and turns to his side to face you, smiling and looking satisfied.

“I’ve been away for days before. Why are you missing me now?” He asks.

“Yah, don’t let it get to your head,” you playfully smack his arm. “Also, do remember that the last time you were away, which wasn’t long ago, you came back to me being confined in the hospital so…”

“So it means that you kinda lose your shit when I’m not around? Is that what you’re trying to say?” He chuckles.

“You’re annoying, you know?” You flick his forehead. “But it’s just different, I guess. This wasn’t for some work thing. You left because you were sad. And that made me worry a lot about how you’re feeling, if you’re less sad than the day before, if you’re able to find what you’re looking for, so that uh, I’ll know if you’ll be staying longer or not.”

There’s that sadness again, and the more he knows about you and Namjoon, the more it makes sense to him. That fear of being left behind, of hoping and being disappointed - that doesn’t go away. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t calling,” he sighs, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“It’s okay, you’re more bearable when you send voice messages because then I can just pause you.”

“Yah!” He whines, lightly pulling that same strand of hair. “I was about to say you’re being sweet for worrying about me.”

“I’m kidding,” you laugh again. “You don’t have to apologize since I don’t like calls either. But the voice messages are fun since I can play them over and over again and just laugh at how dramatic you are sometimes.”

“I’m glad I get to make you laugh, then.”

“You do, and I know I make you laugh, too, so I’ll go ahead and believe that you missed me as well, otherwise you wouldn’t be home right now,” you say, your heart surprisingly beating hard.

“Okay, Ms. Know-It-All,” he grins. “I missed you, too. So can we sleep now?”

You nod and pull the covers over both of you. The space in between is still there, but it also seems like there isn’t any. With your hand over his, you wish that the littlest of comfort you can give him will be enough.

Series Masterlist  

Permanent Taglist: @sherlynxx​ @di0rgguk​ @thequeen-kat​ @mwitsmejk @fan-ati--c​ @cravingforhotchocolate​ @adoraminie​ @helenazbmrskai​ @weasleyswizarding-wheezes​ @preciouschimine​ @gukssunshine​ @nch327​ @kookxin​ @petuliii​ @yoursthv​ @libra04​ @fancycollectormoon​ @twixxxpie​ @ignoretheskies​ @ohmydarlin-g​ @bids97​ @minyoongiboongi​ @main-bangtansmauyeondan​

Series Taglist: @iwishselena​ @neverthefirstchoice​ @jungoomoles​ @yoontaethings​ @scuzmunkie​ @aerastus​ @seanachais​ @rjsmochii​ @shesaysweirdthings​ @xiaonismo​

[vivaamor]

steve notices your social anxiety

warnings: anxiety, swearing

relationships: steve harrington/ female reader

summary: steve helps you deal with your social anxiety

the chatter of young adults, the loud music erupting from the speakers, the splashing of drinks. those were the three noises that paraded your ears that night. your boyfriend steve had begged you to come along, knowing very well you had no intent on going to chrissy cunningham's twenty-second birthday party. you knew chrissy, liked her enough, but you hadn't been feeling it.

your new anxiety prescription hadn't been taking to an effect. you expected it since you were still trying to find the right prescription for you. you only began hiking on this journey of pharmacy for about three months, since your anxiety had grown tenfold and nancy's relentless nagging finally got you to see a doctor about it.

you went to parties in high school. you had fun back then. but the past year had been one full of crippling anxiety and panic attacks, and you hadn't been up for going anywhere packed full of people recently.

"come on, babe, we didn't go to eddie's birthday party, so i promised the gang we'd make it to chrissy's!" he frowned, puling at your hand, a pout on display. "you never go with me... pretty please?"

steve had always been the sweetest when it came to staying home. you always had some excuse like i'm not really feeling it tonight, or i have things to do. he always understood, but you knew it disappointed him to go to hangouts by himself, without his favorite girl. so you agreed. you got all dressed up-- hair, makeup, dress, and all. you felt good, you liked looking in the mirror when you looked like this. and you decided-- tonight is going to be a good night.

that didn't last long.

once you were surrounded in a crowd of people, you could feel that familiar feeling in your stomach and your chest, your brain running on overdrive. it was like a ticking time bomb located in your chest.

you hadn't been out in a while and everyone missed as they tried to all have the chance to catch up with you. you appreciated it but it was too much for you to handle. your hands grew clammy as you sipped from the beer robin grabbed you, knowing you needed it.

"y/n!" chrissy grabbed your arm and you jumped, turning to face the birthday girl. "you made it!" she smiled, pulling you in for a hug. she pulled away, eyeing your drink of choice. "let's get you a real drink, come on."

you shook your head quickly, "no, no, i'm fine, really." you assured her by taking another drink from the bottle.

"come on, it's my birthday! turn off your brain and let's get fucked up." you knew she didn't mean to guilt you, she only missed you and wanted to party.

you wave your hand in front of her, "i don't know, i-"

"y/n! hey bud." eddie exclaimed, waving to you from across the room as he crept through the crowd of young adults. "what do you say to-" the rest of his sentence isn't registered by you, the sound of heart thumping a hundred miles an hour being your main focus.

steve was watching you from across the house as he spoke to jonathan, a red solo cup in hand. he watched your faux smile, how your hands shakily fidgeted with the material of your dress, and how you continued to take deep breaths, you smile slowly fading until it was almost absent. "hold that thought." he apologized to jonathan, putting his cup down on the coffee table and hurriedly making his way to you. he wraps his arms around your waist, whispering, "hey, sweetheart," into your ear when you tense. your clammy hand rests over his arm, trying to relax into him.

"harrington!" eddie yells, noticing your boyfriend stood behind you. "i was just telling y/n that you guys should come by wheeler's house tomorrow night, promised dustin i'd hang with 'em."

steve chuckles and nods, he knew that if the two of you showed up, you'd immediately be invited to other social gatherings. he rubbed along your waist, replying, "i'll have to let you know, munson. but for now, mind if i steal my girl from you crows?" eddie laughs, shooing you away.

steve grasps your hand in his and you can't help but feel extremely guilty. he could read you so well and you hated it. he knew when you were excited, angry, sad, delighted, and most unfortunately, anxious. he leads you outside, where it's quieter except for the light tune of the music traveling outside of the cunningham house. "steve-" you whined, following him into the yard.

he sits on the lawn, legs spread, pulling you along with him until your situated between his legs, your back pressed against his chest. he holds both your hands in his, squeezing them lightly, his chin leaned on your shoulder. "breathe, baby." he takes a deep breath, urging you to follow him suit.

you inhale deeply and hold it for a few seconds, before exhaling, the heavy weight on your slowly becoming lighter. "five things you can see, name them."

you look around, "your hands," he squeezes them again. you tilt your chin up, "the sky," you look to your right, "jason passed out," he chuckles, his chest vibrating against your back. "chrissy's house," he nods, pressing a kiss to your temple. "and that bird." you nudge to the bird that's inhabiting a nearby tree.

"good girl, good job." he praises, pressing another kiss behind your ear. "do you feel any better?" he asks, moving his arms back around your waist so you feel secure.

you nod your head, leaning back into him, letting him support your weight. "i'm sorry."

"what for?" he knits his eyebrows together, thinking to himself, what would this girl do that she would ever have to apologize for?

you shrug your shoulders, turning your body so your legs rest over his and you're able to turn your head to look at him. "i ruined your night."

"oh, sweetheart," he cups your cheeks, pressing a kiss to the tip of your nose, grinning when you finally smile. "tell me, what am i doing right now?"

"dealing with your psychotic girlfriend."

he shakes his head, "holding my beautiful girlfriend. couldn't get any better that this." he tells your, brushing a strand of stray hair behind your ear. "i do have one request, though." you look up at him. "tell me when it gets bad. don't put yourself through something even when you're miserable. talk to me."

you take another deep breath, "okay, promise." you hold your pinky out and he can't help the shit eating grin on his face as he loops his pinky with yours.

"you want to go home?" he asks, smoothing his hands down your shoulders. "okay, let's go home, yeah?" he stands, helping you up.

you stand to your feet, smoothing out your dress with your hands. "thank you."

"don't thank me. it's what you do when you're in love with someone. i don't care what we do, i just want to be with you."

you pout your bottom lip out, looking up at him while you stand between his legs. "you're in love with me?"

"sweetheart, i tell you i love you all the time."

"yeah, i know, but that doesn't mean you're in love with me. it just means you love me. there's a difference, stevie."

he dips his head, his face a mere few inches from yours. "well, whatever the difference, i know i'm in love with you. is that okay?"

"i'm in love with you, too." you lean on your toes, pressing a soft and gentle kiss to his lips. he smiles against you, rubbing your lower back with his hand.

he pulls away before pecking your lips one more time. "now let's go home." he takes your hand, leading you to his car he parked on the side of the street. your heart eyes never leave from watching your intertwined hands, thinking to yourself...

he's the one.

[magniloquent-raven]

Dig that prompt list. Super worried for the new episodes tho so maybe some Harringrove with feeling your partners pulse??? 🖤🖤🖤

ough i hope ur alright after vol 2 lol 💕💕💕 here's a lil fluff, cuz we all deserve some rn

**

“Would you stop squirming, I’m supposed to be checking your resting heart rate.”

“I’m plenty restful,” Billy mutters, shifting in his seat again, eyes downcast and pouting like a petulant toddler. 

Steve huffs, adjusting his loose grip on Billy’s wrist. His pulse jumps under Steve’s fingers, and the muscles in his forearm twitch. “Right.”

It’s like this every time. Every goddamn day since Billy got out of the hospital. It should be getting under Steve’s skin by now, but it’s weirdly getting easier to deal with. Like Billy’s growing on him or something. 

It was rocky at first. He knew it would be when he volunteered to take Billy in, but Max wouldn’t stop fretting over what was going to happen to her brother and Steve couldn’t stand the sad eyes anymore. It took some convincing, for some goddamn reason Steve couldn’t stop the words from falling out of his face when she told him no, like he actually wanted to do this. But he argued for in favor for so long he almost convinced himself as much as he convinced her. 

And so here he is. Responsible for Billy Hargrove’s stubborn ass. Making sure he takes his meds and does his exercises, inspecting his shiny new scars for any signs of complications—whatever that means, half the shit the doctor told him went right over his head—and checking his stupid pulse because his stupid heart got fucked up by the stupid Mind Flayer, and now… And now Steve has to worry about him. Him and his damaged heart.

“It’s too high again,” Steve sighs.

“I’m tellin’ you, I feel fine. It’s fine.”

“Yeah my Uncle was fine too. Right up until he died of a heart attack when he was, like, fourty.”

“Jesus, Harrington.”

“I’m just saying.”

“Well, stop saying.” Billy pulls his arm away, tucking it close to his side, away from Steve. 

Steve flexes his fingers, trying to subtly shake the weird feeling of loss. His palm is cold. Empty. He’s suddenly too aware of his own pulse thrumming, a poor replacement for the heady warmth of Billy’s skin.

Christ, he needs to stop. He really needs to stop. Billy took a risk trusting Steve with his care—something that still shocks Steve if he thinks about it too long—and Steve can’t fuck that up by perving on him while he’s supposed to be helping.

He’s not sure how to stop though. Billy started muscling his way into Steve’s space the second he got to Hawkins, but it was never like this. Quiet. Back when he was being annoying Steve was focused on that. Distracted by Billy being an asshole. Not sitting on their beat-up old couch holding his hand and his heart and trying desperately to keep the numbers in his brain when all his brain wants to do is remind him that Billy’s knee is touching his and he could be counting the freckles on Billy’s nose instead of his heartbeats. 

Steve lets his head fall back against the cushions and stares at the ceiling. There’s a stain in the corner that looks like a whale.

“Fine. D’you wanna watch a movie or something?” 

~~

The next day is, to nobody’s surprise, no different. 

Steve checks and double-checks the pamphlets he was given, just to make sure he isn’t misremembering what a healthy heart is supposed to sound like. 

He wasn’t. Billy’s heartbeat is definitely racing. Again. Still? Maybe it’s been like this the whole time, thundering under the metal plate keeping Billy’s ribs in place, thumping so hard Steve doesn’t need to touch Billy to know how fast it is because he can see it. 

He touches him anyways.

“Are you drinking buckets of coffee while I’m not looking? Jesus Christ, Hargrove.” 

“Yes. Obviously. I’m surprised you haven’t caught me yet.”

Billy picks at a thread hanging loose from the bottom of his cutoff shorts. His other hand hangs limply in Steve’s grip. He stares at his own wrist with a furrowed brow. 

“Very funny, smartass. I think I might have to call the doc, this isn’t—”

“I don’t need another fucking check-up.”

“Your BPM says you do.”

“Oh excuse me, Nurse Harrington.” 

Steve blows out a breath. “C’mon, man. It could be something serious, don’t you wanna know?”

“I do know. I know that an appointment would be a waste of everyone’s goddamn time.”

“You—” Steve gestures helplessly with his free hand, fingers tuat and curled with frustration. “This isn’t normal, Billy!”

“It’s—”

“No, no, shut the fuck up, just—” Before he can actually think it through he pulls Billy’s hand towards him and holds it to his chest, wrangling him into position while Billy stares at him in blank shock. “This is what a normal heartbeat is supposed to feel like, alright?” 

Billy’s palm is flat against his sternum, a warm weight between his chest and his hands, ragged, bitten down thumbnail catching on the material of Steve’s shirt. Crystal blue eyes bore into him, wide and unblinking. 

He really should have thought this through.

No matter how much he tries to will his heart to stay steady, the longer Billy looks at him the more it trips over itself. The longer he stays, touching Steve’s chest, letting him hold his hand, the more anticipation threads itself around his lungs, taut and hopelessly tangled.

“...Is it?” Billy raises his eyebrows.

“Um.”

He should definitely probably be panicking right now. And he is, a little, except Billy’s sitting so close and he’s not moving away, and the look on his face is curiosity more than anything else. There’s something tickling Steve’s brain that he can’t quite pin down. It’s distracting enough to keep him from hitting solid ground, keep him looking up at least, ignoring the weird, awkward reality that he’s pushed a boundary that he told himself he wouldn’t.

Except Billy isn’t pulling away.

He’s…

Oh, wait.

Wait a second.

“Oh my god.”

Billy blinks at him. “What.”

“Do I make you nervous?”

“What?” 

There’s an unmistakable pink tinge spreading under Billy’s freckles, and Steve grins. “Holy shit, that’s why, isn’t it?”

“Fuck off, Harrington.” There’s no heat to it.

“All this time I was worried about your health and it turns out you just have a crush on me, oh my god.”

“I—”

“Dude, that’s adorable.”

Billy lets out an embarrassed huff, “Shut up.” His gaze drops to his hand, still trapped against Steve’s chest. When he glances back up there’s something tentative about the way he does it. He opens his mouth. A beat passes. He closes it again. 

“The answer is yes,” Steve says gently.

“You…”

“Yeah.”

“Huh.”

“So…do you think you and your heart can handle doing something about this, or—”

Billy’s nails dig in as he lunges forward, crashing his mouth into Steve’s. It’s messy and enthusiastic, as much an oh god finally as a yes I can, Harrington, shut the fuck up. By the time they come up for air Billy is straddling Steve’s thighs, gripping the front of his shirt like his life depends on it. 

And it turns out Billy’s heart is just fine. Especially when he has Steve taking care of it.

~~tag list ppls @growup-thatbeautiful @spreckle 💕💕

[bemyawakening]

HAYLOFT; chapter three

fandom: Simon "Ghost" Riley x Original Female Character

short summary: Marzia Moretti, known as Siren, is one of the secret agents of the CIA, meant to deal with missions quietly and gather information. Not only did she work on her biggest mission for seven years, digging for information about the Sicilian Mafia which was running the most secretive human trafficking business, but she also did this to get revenge. Recently, she gets assigned to Task Force 141 in order to finish the mission once and for all.

translation of Italian can be found at the end. You can also read this book on ao3

previous chapters: chapter 1 chapter 2

warnings: curse words, mentions of trauma and death

           “What?!” Siren’s voice raised as she was looking at the cackling figure of the Scottish Sergeant, who couldn’t properly breathe in from how much he was laughing. Tiny tears were welling in the corner of his eyes as he was wheezing for air. “You did not just say that!”

            Gaz was barely holding the cup of tea in his hand, trying to not have such a horrible laughter attack as Soap was having. Siren, on the other hand, took her attention away from the stove for one second and she felt the burning smell of coffee enter her lungs, making her quickly turn the stove off, taking off the Moka pot with a grunt.

            “Vaffanculo, what the fuck,” she grumbled in pure annoyance, placing the Moka pot in the sink as she took a towel, moving it so the burnt smell would fade away faster. “This-” she turned to Soap, “is your fault.”

            The man was laughing even louder after seeing the coffee spill over the stove. The look on her face—he was going to cherish this moment until the day he dies. Now, the whole reason why he was basically on the floor from laughing, was that he shared his thoughts about her alias Siren. In his opinion, he believes that she is called Siren because she has a loud voice and attracts everyone as a passing ambulance.

            With the sharp turn of her head, he understood that he was way off and that he just compared her to an ambulance.

            “What’s that smell?” A sudden voice appeared in the little kitchen as she almost hit herself with the towel from the fear, feeling like a kid who got busted by someone older.

            The masked man was standing in the kitchen, leaning to the doorway, hands crossed over his chest, giving not them, but her the stare that was giving her the chills. After the first conversation yesterday, both of them didn’t interact more apart from being in the same group and reviewing the information they knew.

            “Did you just burn coffee?” Lieutenant gazed at the dirty stove and she gifted him her famous glare as well.

            “I’d like to hear a little bit less resentment in your voice, Lieutenant,” she placed the towel on the counter, taking some paper towels. “Because of that man,” she gave a weird look to Soap, who was biting the inside of his cheeks trying to not laugh, “I won’t have my morning coffee.”

            Ghost didn’t budge in his place, watching every of her move. “There is coffee on the countertop.”

            Wiping the hot liquid around the stone of the stove, she slightly hissed from the heat: “I don’t drink that coffee. Sono Italiana, Tenente.”

            “How many languages do you speak?” Soap asked, his cheeks still slightly flustered from the laughter.

            Throwing the paper towels in the bin, she gave him a look: “Want to guess again? I wouldn’t be surprised if you’d say a negative number.”

            Soap snorted grabbing his cup with coffee in it, “That’s rude, lass. Breakin’ my heart over here.” He hit his chest with his free hand.

            “You made me spill my espresso. Expect wrath,” she threatened with a smooth tone, her expression calm.

            “Alright, enough of this,” Ghost reminded them all about his presence even if it was hard to miss the figure blocking the entrance. “All of you, with me.”

            Puckering her lips, she wanted to say no to him because she wasn’t used to getting orders from someone else than Laswell or Shepherd. In here, she was with a lower rank than Ghost was, so she shut her lips tight and without saying anything, followed him out of the kitchen.

            “There are some matters to be looked over,” he explained and all of them soon ended up in a small room, where most of the leads about their mission were splattered around.

            Captain Price was inside of that room, with crossed hands over his chest and a bored expression: “Prepare yourself, kid,” he mumbled as soon as she stepped it.

            “What’s the problem?” Siren asked, leaning to the wall, watching her superior cover the biggest part of the room, his eyes boring into her. She couldn’t stand the way he was able to hold eye contact for so long.

            “Your leads in Tuscany. Why there?” Ghost went straight to the point.

            “Toscana is famous for Chianti. All of the men I—interrogated, told me they like Chianti.”

            Siren was sure that underneath that mask he raised his eyebrows and scoffed silently. Yet his eyes stayed calm, no emotion visible in them. “That’s your lead? Chianti?”

            Chianti sounded like a curse word with his accent and she slightly scrunched her nose—yes, she was one of those people who couldn’t handle horrible pronunciation of Italian words.

            “All of them lie that they are from Southern Italy. Chianti is made in Toscana.” She shrugged as if it was obvious, coming closer to the map hung on the wall of Italy. Taking a marker, she crossed three places on the map in the region of Toscana. “Biggest Chianti producers. All legitimate business. However, they all have weird transactions with ghost companies or companies that existed. The CIA wasn’t able to track the origin where those transactions were supposed to end up.”

            “And you got this information from your intuition?” There was bitterness in his voice that made her chuckle.

            “I trust my gut.” She motioned at her stomach.

            “I told you,” Price mumbled in the corner, not really paying attention to the conversation.

            “You trust your gut?” Ghost repeated as if he has heard the biggest nonsense. “We work with leads. Names. Places. The source has to be clear.”

            “There’s a source,” she disagreed.

            “Who?”

            “Me.”

            His fingers twitched and she noticed that. A man of facts as it seemed. Yes, Siren was a little insane to trust her gut, but she has been on this mission for seven years. She has searched all over Europe for obvious dirt on the trafficking business that would lead her to Luca Torro. There are none. She wasn’t getting this Chianti out of anywhere. It made sense for them to put something dirty on a legitimate business which was far enough from Sicily.

            “You,” he repeated, his voice dropping. “The source is you.”

            “My gut is telling me that you’re sceptical.”

            “I am sceptical. I think that’s pretty clear without your gut. ”

            “Alright,” she crossed her hands over her chest, coming closer to him. “What would you do?”

            “Find a man and get an actual lead.”

            “Oh, by torturing? These men would rather die than tell you shit. Chop their dicks off and they won’t tell you anything. You don’t understand the hierarchy in there—those men actually think they owe everything they have to Luca Torro.”

            Ghost squinted his eyes as he couldn’t believe that the whole mission depended on her intuition. A fucking intuition. “And everyone’s okay with this?”

            Price shifted in his seat, suppressing a yawn, “I think she’s been on this mission longer than us. The last lead Caswell has found out was a transfer from one of those companies to North America where Siren has taken care of one of their men. That’s the only lead we have.”

            A victorious smile sat on her lips: “Hey, if I’m wrong – I’ll buy you a drink,” she shrugged. But in reality, she knew that she won’t be buying that drink – she was right about this. She had to be.

            “How did you get the whole Chianti stuff from those men?” Soap asked, making her turn around and face.

            A small, cheeky smile sat on her lips: “For the exact same reason why I’m called Siren.”

            The Sergeant snorted out a laugh, shaking his head, remembering that he called her an ambulance.

            “Should’ve seen her file, Sergeant,” Price tapped his shoulder before leaving the room.

            “That’s classified,” she mumbled and rolled her eyes, before turning to her Lieutenant. “Did I ease your worries?”

            “You’re getting me that drink, Sergeant. I like bourbon.” Ghost informed before he left the room, making Siren and Soap share a look.

            “What is on your file?” The Scottish man pried, confused.

            Siren puckered her lips: “Different ways to cut someone’s limbs without them screaming—why? Want a demonstration?”

            “Wouldn’t want to get on your bad side now,” he chuckled.

            “Smart boy. I like that.”

  · ─────── ·𖥸· ─────── · ·

             The distant shot and the blood splattering on her face made her gasp for air. It felt as if an unknown force was trying to choke her, watching the way his stare got stuck in her mind until the day he dies. His body fell, and so did hers. She was screaming, she was shouting for someone to help her, to help him, but the ringing in her ears made it sound as if nothing came out of her mouth.

            The gurgling sound of her sobs, the metallic taste of his blood in her mouth—his blood—was making her choke for air. She knew that’s how heartbreak felt like, she knew what it meant for her. Yet she could do nothing more than scream.

            Within the same image, she gasped for air, opening her eyes. The cold sweat drenched her body and it felt as if she has been glued to her bunk bed. The snoring from above only soothed her enough that she didn’t wake up screaming.

            Her hands were already clutching the dog tags, feeling the cold metal of the ring as she bit her lips. She wouldn’t dare to make a sound. She wouldn’t dare to cry. She wouldn’t dare to get back to the way it was.

            However, the familiar void on her chest was always there. The metallic taste of his blood in her mouth seemed so real that she could feel it right now. Forcing herself to stand up, she quickly walked into the bathroom and washed her face with cold water. Didn’t even look into the mirror because she wouldn’t be able to stand to see herself right now. There was a high possibility she would see something that wasn’t real.

            The watch on her wrist showed that it was after three. She won’t be able to fall asleep again. Whenever the same nightmare would visit her, she’d know that it was all she will get from the night. Now, it was up to her to find out how to put her mind out of the suffering and do something that wouldn’t lead her into crying.

            She silently made her way out of the little room with bunk beds, a little bag squeezed between her ribs and her arm. She strolled her way beside it, where a little table was, near a small kitchen, but there was already someone sitting there.

            By the cloud of smoke, she quickly realised that it was Price, so she without any hesitations made her way to the table where he was sitting and took a seat on the other end of the table.

            Puffing out the smoke, he gave her a brief look: “Can’t sleep?”

            Shaking her head. It felt like all of the horror was haunting her again, not that it has ever left her alone. However, in the morning, they are all leaving for Italy, their mission is beginning and she felt sicker than she expected to. She didn’t like going back to her homeland.

            “What about you?” She asked.

            “Was up for a smoke,” he admitted, watching the way she took her knives out of the bag and a whetstone, getting ready to sharpen them.

            After a few moments of silence and the sharp sounds of her knives being sharpened, he spoke up again: “If it’s too hard for you to come back—“

            Siren shook her head, her hands slightly trembling as the taste of the blood was stuck on her tongue. “I can do it. I have to.”

            Price looked at her, wanting to offer her comfort, but he knew better, so he did it quietly, without pushing her too much. He knew why this mission was important to her and he knew why she was so determined to finish this once and for all. He knew her nightmares. She has told him what has happened, but after so many years, it was eating her from within.

            “You’re torturing yourself, kid.”

            A sad chuckle tugged on the corner of her lips and hummed: “That’s what soldiers do, Price. There isn’t anyone in here without a reason that doesn’t let them sleep at night.”

            Everyone had their inner demons. There was always a reason why soldiers chose to do this. And the reasons were never pretty.

            Siren placed the knife on the table, leaning back on the chair as she watched him. Price noticed her look and he knitted his eyebrows together: “What?”

            “The beard is making you look older than you are,” she admitted out of nowhere.

            The poor man choked on the smoke he just inhaled and he wheezed out in pain: “Always been the one with the kindest words…”

            “I speak the truth, Captain. You look like you’re seventy. Also, what’s with that beard? Why is the chin barely with hair—what are you doing to it?”

            “Alright, that’s it,” he grumbled like a wet cat, giving her the look. “I preferred your long hair, but I don’t shove it in your face every time I see you.”

            She ran her hand over her short hair. “Long hair was too much of a nuisance for me. Yet you, somehow manage to take care of your beard. Wait till I show everyone the pictures of you without your beard.”

            “You wouldn’t dare,” he gave her a glare, inhaling the smoke again.

            “Remember the Polaroid we took in ’15?” Siren slightly smiled, remembering the excruciating mission Price has recruited her to perform. Not only was it a master plan to take a terrorist organisation down, but it took a good amount of acting skills and Price had to shave off his beard.  

            The man chuckled, shaking his head: “Still have it?”

            “We looked great.”

            They did. She remembers holding out the Polaroid in front of him, hearing that man protest. Price wasn’t really a man for taking pictures. But both of them were just about to get on with a plan that took them two months to prepare and they both looked like idiots. Her hair was the longest she has ever had, reaching below her butt. The dress she was wearing was modest, covering the scars on her body well, but the best thing about that picture was Price.

            He was wearing a tuxedo. It took so long for her to convince him to let the plan go her way. Without the military vests, without the assault rifles. Heard a lot of whines from him, but she knew it boosted his ego a little bit.

            “Took your Polaroid here as well?” Price asked.

            Nodding, she leaned back on her chair crossing her arms: “You were the one who told me about making memories. Just using your advice.”

            “Well, well,” he pushed the bud of the cigar into the table, “Listening to my advice? Can’t believe what I’m hearin’.”

            “Don’t get attached. That was one time.”

            Rolling his eyes, he looked in the other direction: “How’s my team?” He changed the topic.

            Shrugging, she replied: “They do have brains.”

            “They’ll grow on ya,” he promised.

            That’s what she was afraid of. Growing attached to them all and then seeing them die. But she said nothing. She knew the risk of her job very well. Death was inevitable, just a matter of time.

Translations:

“Vaffanculo” - what the fuck in Italian

“Sono Italiana, Tenente,” - I’m Italian, Lieutenant in Italian

[howlingday]

wizard jaune au) jaune's not exactly an expert in necromancy, as close as shamanism is to it as a practice they're noticeably different. but he's pretty sure dead corpses aren't supposed to be forced to plow fields.

apparently, the witch salem has a new apprentice named cinder and ozpin needs jaune to go tell her to reign in her student. jaune: why don't you do it?" ozma: "I dare not approach her" jaune: "because her powers put her outside of time and she's too powerful?" ozma: "no because we were on again off again and then got married and after our daughters moved out to go to magical girl collage we got a divorce and the entire situation was FUCKED!"

jaune: "well that sounds like a proble-" ozma: "SHE TOOK MY FAVORITE FUCKING MUG! SHE DRINKS HER DISGUSTING TEA OUT OF IT JUST TO FUCKING MOCK ME SHE KNOWS THAT THE TASTE BUILDS UP, OH SHE SAYS IT'S ALL IN MY HEAD BUT I KNOW THE FUCKING TRUTH!"

so now neo ruby and jaune venture out of the forest to handle the situation (and give ozma some time to cool off)

Ozpin was a man of many secrets. When asked his favorite color, he would tell you deep cave blue, which Jaune couldn't even begin to imagine what that looked like. This made it all the more surprising to learn Ozpin had an ex. An ex who can also perform magic.

Jaune wasn't an expert on magic, but even he knew of the Black Queen, Salem. The most powerful necromancer in all the kingdoms, rumored to be seeking a way to slip this mortal coil and become undead. With necromancy, she was on the right path.

Necromancy is an interesting case, as it falls under what is known as "gray magic". Gray magic is any magical practice that is used with malicious intent more than half of the time. Other magics were also considered gray, mostly offensive magic, like pyromancy and other elemental magic.

However, what separates necromancy from the rest was the inversion of it's malice. Where cryomancy destroys a building by freezing it until it shatters, necromancy creates life by bringing the dead to the mortal realm by imparting a piece of the user's magical reserve to reawaken the corpse.

Which brings Jaune here, to the edge of the Black Wood Forest, named for it's sturdy tarwood trees. He and Ruby were sent by Ozpin on a quest to retrieve his chalice of love. Or as Ruby put it, his coffee mug. Jaune drew his hand across the black bark of the tarwood, admiring the black sheen it had.

Tarwood was sturdy and made for the hardest woodwork, if you can get enough to craft anything. Thick and black to it's core, tarwood was strong enough to deflect common steel, withstand most elemental attacks, and when used for firewood, gives off a heat ten times that of pinewood.

Which made the claw marks he felt all the more intimidating. Sturdy tree made for a sturdy environment, and if you're strong enough to cut into the tarwood of the Black Wood Forest, you're strong enough to live in Black Wood Forest.

The claw marks dragged across the tree repeatedly, signaling this was the territory of the large creature who made it. It was hard to tell for Jaune, because there was so many, until Ruby pointed out to him it was two claw marks with each scratch.

They needed to be alert, if whatever made this mark was out there, patrolling it's territory. Jaune would rather stay as far awayas possible, but they needed to cut through, if they wanted to reach the heart of the forest, where Salem lived.

Jaune had heard many stories about the Hag of Black Wood. They said she was ancient, as old as the forest itself. And powerful; the most powerful witch in all of Remnant. The most terrifying story he heard, the one his sister told to scare him on Hollow's Eve, was how Salem would send a dark minion to snatch people so she could do awful, terrible things to make them scream. And they are never heard from again.

He gulped. "Uh, d-do we have to?"

"Not really." Ruby shrugged. "We could always tell Ozpin to get his mug himself."

Jaune sighed. "So we have to." He trudged forward, through the dead leaves covering the damp undergrowth and mud beneath. He glanced around as Ruby hovered over his shoulder. "Have you ever been here?"

"No." Ruby answered. "My sister told me to stay away from this place if I can. Something about monsters touching me."

"Yeah, I can imagine a single swipe from whatever lives here would be enough to... Uh..."

"Kill me?"

"Y-Yeah."

Ruby shrugged. "If I die, I die. If I'm going to die, I at least want to die a cool way."

"Like what?"

"Like..." Ruby put a finger to her chin in thought. "Like making a last stand against an evil army, or saving someone from a vicious monster!"

"A hero's death, huh?" Jaune chuckled. "I like that." He sighed contently.

"What about you?" Ruby moved to in front of his face, blocking his view. "How would you want to die?"

"Me?" Jaune looked past her and moved forward, trying not to be blinded. "Well, it's kind of lame."

"What is it?" Ruby asked, flying around his head. "What is it? What is it?"

"Well..." Jaune mulled the idea in his head, then gave a soft smile. "In bed."

Ruby stopped. "...Wow, that is lame."

"See?" Jaune continued smiling. "Maybe that's how a warrior should die. Comfortable in his own bed."

"So, when you say in bed, do you mean stabbed or poisoned?"

"Sleeping." Jaune replied. "I don't want to feel any of it when I die."

"Ugh! So boring!" Ruby groaned. "Why not die a heroic death, fighting a monster or an evil king, or something?"

"Well, if I died like that, I wouldn't see how my story ended." Jaune walked aimlessly as his eyes casted skyward, through the empty branches. "I'd rather die in a comfy bed, surrounded by the people I love, knowing that I've left this world in safe hands."

"Wow," Ruby sniffed, "that was really sweet."

"And foolish." The two turned to see a black figure with a pale face approach from the trees, towering over the two. Red irises sat in black pools of cold emotion. Her hair was tied back in outward rolls. "As you will both die here, in agony."

[queen-scribbles]

Also if you have more thoughts on the AJ/Adam AU now that you've gotten them through book 3 I'm very 👀👀👀

HOOOO BOY DO I (behind a cut for spoilers and screaming and length. bc i have. So Many Feelings)

The overall thought is

bc I've never taken so much emotional damage in so short a time in my LIFE. Fucking Glintshore wasn't this bad.

So AJ running Adam's route is so different than Mallory running Adam's route bc she's much gentler, more accepting of help, but also more open about her feelings, and I love it. She's not dragging her feet and trying to protect her heart and it led to some incredibly tender moments. Also means it cuts deeper for her when he pulls back from romantic moments bc she's trying :)))) Mallory's sort of in a holding pattern/testing the waters, so she can use that as an excuse, but AJ has her heart on her sleeve and it HURTS every time Adam acts interested than steps back. But she keeps trying bc she's in too deep to stop.

She cares so much and she's so genuine. when she says things like this you believe her. Unless you're a 900 year old vampire with thirty foot thick walls around your heart, apparently.

The research session on Adam's route, OH MY GOODDDDDD. It's so good and it made her so happy. "I notice the important people. More than you might think."?????? Significant looks????? Him getting grumpy bc she isn't eating/drinking enough and being so domestic as to make her more???? She protests she could drink the cold coffee and he counters with "I remember the taste of hot drinks gone cold" while wrinkling his nose????ADORABLE MAN.

ALSO. ALSO ALSO ALSO THIS

flamingelmo.gif GOD ADAM YOU IDIOT(AFFECTIONATE) JUST GO FOR IT YOU'RE IN SO DEEP ALREADY YOU MIGHT AS WELL

And AJ, with her caring nature and borderline savior complex absolutely broke down about all the missing people before calling Adam in hopes hearing his voice would make her feel better

and she starts cry-laughing just off him being HIM so clearly it works and then

HE WANTS TO BE THERE FOR HER. HE WANTS IT SO BAD I CAN'T. I CANNOT with this man.

And she suggests splitting the team for the trio of attempted kidnapping and he says he'll follow her lead wherever she wishes to go and I had to get up and pace for a minute bc he's so GENTLE about it, and so casual about letting her be in charge and it's killing meeeeeeeeee

She's also the most traumatized of my girls from what happened with Murphy(this AU she got bit on the neck but he was captured, so that's better than her canon where he's still loose at least), so she had a panic attack at the warehouse and he's right there for her. "Are you alright?"//"I am now" AAAAAAHHHHHHH but the real gut punch, tbh one of my favorite scenes from his route just bc of how much the mental image is my jam is this right here

It's exquisite. Reaching out, pulling back when he realizes how much his hand is shaking, how much he cares about her and HE CAN'T STOP HIMSELF and ofc the aftermath scene!! is my favorite from his route, at least for AJ bc

MADE ME FERAL. I had to go lay on the couch and stare at the ceiling. Her admitting to weakness, trying to hold it together after Sin took someone practically OUT OF HER ARMS. Someone begging her for help, for saving. She failed, she feels like she's not doing her job, she's a wreck both physically and emotionally, and he just so swiftly soothes her doubts by promising to lend her his strength until she believes in her own just GAH. The implication that a) he's here for her and b) firmly believe in her own strength no matter how much she doubts it akflajebfjsdbvjsdkssjdja

The car drive date, her showing him a tranquil spot where they can relax. Involving things both of them care about(the car and Wayhaven) in this rare chance to relax and spend time together. I love that they got a moment of peace before everything that's about to slam down on them. "It seems you know me better than I know myself" Both feeling responsible for the lives of their people as well as those they protect, needing a break no matter how fulfilling they find those jobs.

And how he doesn't want her to go to auction, doesn't want her to risk herself and when she tries to point out he'd risk himself in a heartbeat(/cough SANJA), he's so quick to dismiss as "not the same thing" bc she's worth more than the attempt to save these ("already lost") people just bc she's her and ofc she goes anyway bc she has to help people and he's terrified for her the whole time. His later confession that losing her would ruin him. Not destroy. Not break. RUIN. There's such a specific visual to that word choice, aside from it fitting his speech pattern, that it made me *distressed squeaking noises* Like, it conjures images of something strong, something impregnable and long-lived being so utterly wrecked that there's nothing left of it save a few corners of vine-covered, half-eroded rubble to remind future generations something used to be here.

AND THEN we get to the big one.

I really need to scream about this bc AJ and Mallory did different things and both of them mean so much for their individual characters and I'm not sure which one I love/am hurt by more. Mallory did the "Too late" confession and kiss and god, the image of her finally, FINALLY just allowing herself to be vulnerable and open with him in a moment she already knew as she made the choice was going to hurt her after so long keeping her own walls up was just exquisitely painful and wonderful and I CANNOT WAIT TO SEE WHERE THAT GOES. IT'S DELICIOUS. (she chooses to let him hurt her and I will never be over that. Never.) But AJ. Poor, genuine, heart-on-sleeve AJ, ever the optimist, stubbornly the optimist, determined to Always TRY went this route

and OH MY HEART. She's an ugly crier; so her eyes are red, her face is all blotchy behind the freckles, she's so utterly desperate to convince him to at least try. "What if we don't break." What if there's hope, what if this wouldn't end badly, what if you got to keep me and I got to keep you and everything was as amazing as we know it could be instead? But "I cannot risk it" and he's crying too and she didn't even get a kiss.

It's okay, man, I didn't need my heart anyway /sobs leave me alone to die etc etc

At least her bestie Felix has her back.

Just the fact he;'d take her side over Adam and Adam's just like "Good, she'll deserve your support more than me on such a day"

It was start to finish so so so so so good and destroyed me but in a good way and I'm so glad I actually ran this AU, it's amazing.

(If you wanna see me scream more, someone ask me about Mason's route. If I do another of the romance mix-ups, I'm pretty sure Janine/Mason will be next)

[the-writing-mobster]

Hello dear friend and author, may I request some headcanons for The Boys ™ + Frisk on a camping trip perhaps?

| Baby Face Boys & Babes HCs! | Camping Trip! 🏕️

Yessss! Thank you for the suggestion dear heart! 🫶 This was quite the hilarious scenario to imagine. Especially with all these city boys 😭

Again, if any of y'all have little head canon requests for the BF! boys, drop an ask in my inbox! Let me know if you want any for a specific character ;)

.

.

.

Sans: I Wasn't Built For This™

Why did he let Nick convince him this would be fun? Go camping they said. It'll be fun they said.

He refuses to sleep in a tent. He just puts the seats down in his car, all the pillows and blankets he needs, and sleeps there. He's above sleeping on the ground tbh.

“Hiking? That... That sounds exhausting. How long is the trail? FIVE MILES!? Nah. No thanks. you guys go ahead, I'll protect the site from bears or something.”

Day drinks like a mother fucker. Also is the one who usually grills the food considering he's the best cook in the group. Naps all the time.

Once he's a bit more tipsy he's a lot more open to the adventure. Found a rope swing over a lake and went for it without hesitation.

Is the only one who's actually able to start a fire. He watches Nick and Jonas try to do the stick trick and just, “Oh my God, that's so stupid. Just use a lighter. Fuck.”

Tells the best scary stories at the campfire. Leaves the others trembling all night long with his terrifying tales of torment.

Sometimes, no don't tell anyone, he'll get up on the roof of his car and just stargaze... He's glad Nick got him to come. The stars are so clear outside of the city...

Nick: The Environmentalist™

IS THAT A FUCKING BEER CAN!? ON MY HIKING TRAIL!? ABSOLUTELY THE FUCK NOT!

Always looking for the closest trash can and picking up every piece of litter he finds on the trail or near the lake.

Brings little bags with him and gives everyone some to encourage them to also pick up any litter they see.

Always taking candid videos to document their experience. Will do a David Attenborough impression while filming his friends doing stupid shit. No, it's not a good impression, it's the worst British accent you've ever heard.

If he sees a stream he WILL follow it. Even if it goes off the trail. Probably the least responsible thing he does but it's just SO FASCINATING! If he does need help, Jonas can just howl like the wolf he is until Nick makes his way back.

He loves exploring. Always climbing on rocks, and trees.

Always trying to get Sans to participate, no matter how many times Sans says no.

Talks in length about how he wants to set up an off the grid cabin and just "live off the land," in a commune or something. Always talking about how he'd start a big garden, get rain catchers, solar panels, compost toilets... If Ted Kaczynski can do it, why can't he?

"I'm sorry, the fucking Unibomber?” “He had some good points! Don't worry I would never fucking bomb anyone, he was wrong for that.”

Nick always plays the guitar at the campfire and the boys make up random songs to sing with each other, with Nick leading them like the lil lead singer that he is. :,)

Alphys: Having several regrets...

Nope. Sans is right. Sleeping in a tent sucks! Worst sleep ever. She ends up sleeping in the car with Sans.

Chokes down the bitter ass coffee they have to brew themselves to feed her ✨addiction✨

She misses takeout delivery. And video games.

IS THAT A FUCKING SPIDER!?

She absolutely REEKS of bug spray. Mosquitoes don't even go after her, but she still sprays herself down out of paranoia.

Unlike Sans, she actually tries to participate in the "fun" activities cause she doesn't want to feel left out. Is always out of breath and has to be carried by Jonas halfway through because she is literally gonna have an asthma attack. She doesn't even have asthma, but she will after this five mile hike!

Walks into several spider webs, the poor dear.

Loves the campfire and listening to Sans's stories and Nick's songs. Probably the best part of camping is that moment with everyone. She also loves s'mores :)

S'mores are definitely the best part of camping... And also the fact it makes her feel like she's in a studio ghibli movie!

Jonas : The Wilderness Explorer ™

Jonas absolutely loves camping! Being outdoors in general is his jam. Just because he's a grunge skater boy doesn't mean he's above fishing and hiking.

Always trying to impress people with survivalist shit. Can pitch a tent like no one's business and builds little shelters out of sticks, leaves and moss for fun. Still hasn't figured out how to start a fire with sticks but he's persistent.

Really enjoys the fact Sans is out of his element. Constantly making fun of him. "HAH! look at this guy, he can't even pitch a tent."

After Sans decided he was above sleeping on the ground, Jonas thought it would be really funny to tie some hammocks up in the trees. Sans wakes up to the guys sleeping in the canopy and Jonas is just gloating, “WHO'S ABOVE WHO NOW, SANS!?"

When they're hiking, he always climbs up onto big rocks and howls because it's the funnest shit to do ever.

Loves swimming in the lake and when Sans finds the rope, he's overjoyed. Always doing a bunch of flips off of it. Definitely caught a fish with his bare hands.

The fish promptly slapped him in the face as it flailed from his grip to get back in the water.

LOVES s'mores, but can't eat chocolate, so he just eats the marshmallows off the stick. Always talking about how there's a proper way to roast the marshmallow but immediately burns it.

Is the one who can't sleep after Sans's ghost stories.

Midas: the Anti Boy-Scout 😈

Unlike Alphys, Midas isn't afraid of creepy crawlies... In fact, he's the one tormenting people with creepy crawlies >:)

Definitely placed a tarantula on top of Alphys's sleeping bag and is the reason she now refuses to sleep outside.

Finds the biggest bugs imaginable and chases Maeve on the hiking trail. He is a fucking menace to society and MUST be stopped!

He swims under water (with tinted goggles of course) and pretends to be a water snake to freak people out. Will like swim underneath them and his snake hair will definitely slither along their legs. Has been kicked in the face.

When he's not terrorizing his friends, he's binge drinking at the campsite and smoking. Probably knows all the mushroom types and exactly which mushrooms will get people off their shits.

That being said, he has used his powers for good once and caught a big cotton mouth near the campsite so no one would actually get hurt. Carried it away safely and no one was the wiser. An unsung hero, truly.

One time he went out by himself to just enjoy nature, and took his sunglasses off to enjoy the breeze on his face.

Almost turned a hiker into a monument. Thankfully, he was quick to dodge that bullet.

After Sans's ghost stories, Midas will purposefully stay up and fuck with the boys while they're trying to sleep. Like I said, a fucking menace.

Maeve: ✨ Polaroid Princess ✨

“Wow this is so aesthetic.” *📸*

Where Nick is taking stupid candid videos, Maeve is always forcing everyone into fun, cutesy group photos.

Loves watching the sunset, always crooning over the pretty colors.

Basking in a warm patch of sun is one of her favorite activities. Has definitely found a sunny meadow and just laid there to watch the clouds.

She's always put together, outfits are always coordinated. Definitely over packed and now has to wear EVERY outfit she packed for a two day camping trip.

Much like Nick, she's always trying to get Sans to participate but it's to no avail.

She is also the one to keep Alphys the most company and encourage her all the time when they're hiking. “Guys maybe we should turn around, Alphys is getting tired.” “No I'm fine!” -cue Jonas having to give her a piggy back ride back to the camp site, with Maeve tagging along like “I told you.”

Always forcing people to drink water to stay hydrated. “Hydrate or Die-drate."

Hates swimming, but, again, loves basking on the shoreline while the boys are goofing around in the water.

Jonas and Midas have pushed her in the water once and regretted it immediately because she hulked out on them. Went full Lioness on their asses. She is literally the tallest and biggest out of all them, they should've seen this coming 🤦🏼‍♀️ The bugs were one thing, but THAT CROSSED A LINE!

Frisk: Little Miss Sunshine 🌸😚

Absolutely precious. Always asking people if they need help while setting up the campsite. Definitely brought fairy lights and hangs them up in her tent and around their site in the trees. Everyone wants to hang out in her tent because she made it so cozy. Even Sans isn't above hanging out in there.

Is definitely super stoked about camping. Much like Jonas, she absolutely adores the outdoors and spending time in nature, even though she doesn't have any of the survival skills.

Always asking Jonas to show her how to do cool stuff and he is more than happy to teach her how to do things. He definitely shows off for her all the time, and she enjoys the attention.

Keeps the campsite tidy and organized, always agreeing with Nick about keeping the land clean and picking up litter.

When everyone goes off to hike, she stays behind with Sans to hang out with him alone.

She actually manages to convince him to enjoy the outdoors and the two go off on another trail by themselves, and just talk about life and shit. Occasionally they can hear Jonas howling or Maeve's blood curdling screams from being chased by bugs and they start giggling with each other.

Definitely makes little wildflower bouquets for everyone and also flower crowns.

Everyone is always making sure she's having fun.

Hangs out with Maeve because they're pretty similar. They're always taking pictures together and Frisk is always offering to take pictures of the group so Maeve can actually be in said pictures.

Loves swimming. Tried the rope but it unfortunately snapped on her. The boys constantly asked if she's okay after flopping on her back, but she's just giggling about it the whole time.

Is the one who kicked Midas in the face. She feels really bad about it, and he always teases her about it but hey, he shouldn't have been acting like the creature from the black lagoon!

Loves listening to Sans's ghost stories and Nick's songs too. Definitely the boys' biggest cheerleader.

At night, she climbs up on the roof of the car to stargaze with Sans, and the two point out constellations with each other and tell each other stories.

.

.

.

For some reason, these songs gives me Camping vibes so...

[actuallysaiyan]

CONGRATULATIONS TO YOU 🎉

Nickname: Aerith

Pronouns: She/Him

Personality Traits: Religious, friendly, sweet, intelligent, creative, hyper (sometimes), thoughtful, giggly, clumsy, feisty, arrogant, mean-spirited, provocative, foul-mouthed, sarcastic, frightful, sensitive, bold, and savage

Personality Type: INFJ

Star sign: Libra sun, Sagittarius moon, Cancer rising, and Libra venus

Hobbies: Drawing, singing, dancing when nobody's around (I'm very bad at it), sharing nerdy or opinionated thoughts, walking like a model (if I ever feel so confident), sleeping, listening to music (from rock to kpop), chatting or blogging on Tumblr, watching videos on YouTube, making terrible jokes/puns, watching cartoons or beauty pageants [on YouTube], writing, reading interesting things, and conceptualizing my artworks.

Fandom: Naruto

Who do you love most in that fandom: Tenten, Itachi, Kaguya

Who do you hate in that fandom: Fūka

Would you rather be matched with a man or a woman: Man

Smut: Yes

Anyone you don't want to be matched with: Characters with HUGE age gaps (e.g. Madara and co.)

Ideal date: Late night drives + music + coffee or drive thru

My Life In...

Naruto

After some extensive research, we've concluded that you are best matched with... HIDAN! Congrats!

In this universe, you and Hidan are living your lives together, still being mercenaries. Still, the love that grew has become so strong now. Here's you love story...

Matched with: Hidan Skills/career: You’re part of the Akatsuki, and you have a kekkei genkai that allows you to use creative skills to be used as attacks. Song: God Only Knows by The Beach Boys Best Friends: Itachi, Kisame, DeidaraLove at first sight: Not exactly.

How you met:  You were inducted into the Akatsuki due to your village needing some protection. At first, you didn’t really like Hidan. He just rubbed you the wrong way. It became a little more obvious how alike you two could be when Itachi and Kisame pointed it out. Eventually, you found yourself drawn to Hidan. Something about his demeanor just slowly became endearing in a way. And soon you were grouped together with him and Kakuzu.

How you fell in love: It took a long time. But the more time you spent with him, you just couldn’t help falling for the guy. His smile became so infectious. And he showed such compassion whenever he was with you. You couldn’t help but think maybe he would become a little kinder, but it was mostly only to you. Hidan would do his best to finally get your attention. He fell for you hard, and the sweet little gestures he did for you made your heart race. After he started making grand gestures, it didn’t take long for you to finally admit you had a huge crush on him.

Your first date: Hidan waits until everyone is asleep, then he goes to your room. The two of you decide to head out into one of the nearby fields and look up at the stars. It’s a clear night, and he’s hoping everything will turn out perfectly. He has some drinks and a small picnic set up on a blanket. You’re  a little surprised to find how romantic Hidan is, but he confesses his feelings for you. What starts out as chaste kisses develops into some heavy making out. Hidan lets it stop there, and he is a gentleman through the whole date. It’s almost sunrise when the two of you go to bed.

Your first time being intimate: Hidan is used to having casual hookups, but with you, he knew it had to be different. He sets up his bedroom with nice lighting, scented candles and even some rose petals. It's romantic but Hidan still shows you how excited he can get. Still, the pleasure is all for you and Hidan does all he can to make sure you always cum first.

He presses a kiss to your lips, his long cock already deep inside of you. You don’t remember the last time someone fucked you. It was before you joined this little organization. What you do know, is that you’ve never been fucked by someone with as long a cock as Hidan. It reaches your cervix without even trying. He watches your face to make sure you aren’t in pain. Hidan knows he’s long, but he can make it feel good.

“You’re really fuckin’ tight,” Hidan finally breathes. Your silky walls are clamped down so tightly.

You blush, “Well it has been a while since I got laid.”

Hidan chuckles. He presses another kiss to your lips, and then he lets his lips trail down to your neck. He leaves soft lovebites, licking them after he’s done sucking on your tender flesh. The sweet moans you make just for him, it’s just driving him even more crazy. Hidan never wants this moment to end. He knows that he’s fallen for you completely.

“Pussy so good, makes me want to be a better man.”

Where are you now: You and Hidan actually defected from the Akatsuki, and the two of you decided to run away. You live far away from most people, in a small town together. The two of you are much happier this way, spending your days enjoying one another. You’re both still mercenaries, needing the money. But it’s not like the Akatsuki days. It’s just you and Hidan. Loving one another.

General headcanons: 

Hidan is a cuddler. He may not seem it at first, but he enjoys holding you in his arms and just having a few moments of silence. This is very rare, considering he’s always running his mouth.

He will protect you no matter what. Hidan has his faith, but he isn’t opposed to doing what he can to make sure you’re safe. He doesn’t like the idea of going against his beliefs, but for your sake, he would.

Hidan always enjoys making his favorite food with you. He’s not a bad cook, despite what you may think of him. He enjoys food enough to want to learn how to make it good.

He often gets into arguments and fights, so you might need to help him tone back the swearing if you can. Though, it may be fun to watch him get into fights.

Hidan loves spoiling you with gifts whenever he can. He’ll buy you all kinds of stuff. He’s pretty supportive of your hobbies and passions as well.

He still likes to take you out and look at the stars. It’s so beautiful and he can talk about all kinds of stuff whenever you’re together like this. If you draw the night sky, he will be so happy.

Sexy headcanons

The man is kind of a freak in the sheets. He fucks like he’s an animal in heat. It’s just one of his favorite things to do in the world.

He’s mentioned more than once he has a blood kink, but if you aren’t into it, he’ll leave it out of the bedroom. He wants you to be comfortable in the bedroom as well.

Hidan is a big fan of loving, mating press kind of sex too. Something about having you in that position really turns him on. Maybe because you’re so helpless beneath him.

Hidan loves it if you were to tug on his hair while he goes down on you. Clench your thighs around his face. Suffocate him. He can’t die anyway, so he wants to suffocate between your thighs.

He’s not against being tied up, or vice versa. He’s really into both, and he loves it if you were to blindfold him as well and tease him until he is just begging for pleasure.

He needs to cum inside of you. He’s got a huge cum fetish. He doesn’t care about getting you pregnant, it’s all about marking you up as his. It’s the sight of his seed leaking out of you that turns him on.

[megicianniacigem]

Clarkwood Universe: Expressing Doubt

I was delivering coffee to our small town police station. Only five officers were ever in the building and Clarkwood had a total of twelve officers including the chief. I jumped out of my little red Chevy truck and carried the drinks inside.

A low whistle rang out as I approached the front counter.

"Now May you know your little pink apron gets my heart fluttering", Mat chuckled as he took the coffee cups from me and began handing them out.

A murmur of thanks spread throughout the police station.

"Oh Mat you always say the silliest things," I said while rolling my eyes.

Mat got reassigned to Clarkwood a month ago and since day one of stepping into my coffee shop, Miss M's Coffee House, he's been chasing my tail. I can't lie that I'm a bit interested, but I've learned to never show all your cards right away - a lesson I learned from my papa.

The door jingled open and Jeff Cummins walked through the station's threshold. His eyes were rimmed with worry and sunken in from what I'd expect was a bad night's sleep - or lack thereof. He came straight up to Mat and me. On closer inspection, Jeff's black and green plaid shirt was incorrectly buttoned and his boots weren't properly laced. This wasn't normal Jeff behavior - a farmer takes pride in their plaid shirts and boots.

Jeff patted my shoulder and gave me a peck on the cheek. We knew each other from birth and were raised as siblings. Our family's properties bordered each other. When Jeff pulled back I noticed Mat's face was scrunched up with irritation. I hardly ever let Mat hold the door for me, but right under his nose, I let another man kiss my cheek.

"Is the chief around?" Jeff asked Mat.

Mat huffed, "He should be walking in any minute now."

Jeff slowly moved his hand down his face - emotions ready to spill over.

"Jeff... Is everything okay?" I asked. I began to have a sinking feeling in my gut.

"Well... no. Around 2 am Sandra came pounding on my door and when I opened up she was a mess." He took a deep breath and continued, "She ran the whole mile to my farm without shoes and her nightgown was torn...Sandra was attacked last night in her own home".

Silence fell throughout the whole station - all the police officers watched Jeff finish the story. I put my hand over my mouth and then remembered seeing a strange man around town lately. I don't like to prejudge others, but Clarkwood is a small town in the swamps of Louisiana, and most people living here are generational with a few exceptions. Yet, this man made me feel unsettled. He would come into my coffee house order one cup of joe, and stare directly at me for exactly thirty minutes before he would get up and leave. Two nights ago, as I parked my truck I saw him standing in the cotton fields across from my home. We stared at each other until he took a step toward me- I turned and ran indoors. I never locked my doors until that night.

Unfortunately, Sandra was as new as Mat. She was a travel photographer who wanted to finally make a little home of her own - here in Clarkswood. She didn't have the experience like us townsfolk to know something was off.

I turned to Mat and said angrily, "I told you again and again at my shop, but you didn't listen!" tears began to run down my face.

Mat looked ashamed and Jeff was taken aback by my statement.

"May what do you mean?" Jeff asked.

I glared at Mat as I explained, "I told Mat this guy I don't recognize has been staring at me intently for the last few days and that he appeared in the cotton fields across my house." I was shaking.

Mat gasped, "You did not tell me he was at your house May! With the previous information I can't do much when a random dude is just staring at you in public". He was fuming. "I'm going to fucking kill him!" Mat raged.

Too late now - poor Sandra already experienced this man's twisted desires. Jeff pulled me into a hug.

"May why didn't you tell me this? I would have come to the shop and told him to leave for you." Jeff said as he glared at Mat. "I thought you liked May, but you just ignored her." Jeff's rage was increasing.

Mat stood there red-faced. Either from embarrassment, rage, or both. "I do like May, but I can't use my position to play power moves."

Jeff flicked Mat on the forehead and said, "Well I nor May can trust you to protect the young single women of Clarkswood. Let's go May I'll bring you round my place and we can check on Sandra. Boys' let the chief know I was here."

Jeff took my hand and began walking toward the door... I looked over my shoulder at Mat. His eyes were rimmed with tears. "May please stay here with me" Mat called out, but I just shook my head.