#also can i just point out something that's honestly hilarious to me

[misty--nights]

I had to pause the rewatch to work on my fics for the appreciation week, but now that that's done with, I'm back. And so, onto episode 4, my beloved. This is my absolute favorite episode of the season so I'm ridiculously excited to watch it again.

Niko's rent envelope has cat and flower stickers, and little dollar signs and hearts drawn on it. I love this girl so much

Jenny's nails are painted like metallic purple. I don't know why, but this brings me a lot of joy. I like the idea of her and Niko eventually doing their nails together, since they both keep pretty nails. It would be a bonding activity

I always thought Dagfinn was wearing suspenders, but it looks like he's wearing coveralls over his sweater

Even if there are no bodies to be found, does no one realize the people who jumped into the sea are missing?

Dagfinn says the magic eight ball tells you exactly when you're going to die, but that is not true. Like, yest, it says outlook not so good before Niko dies, but by her reaction after the explosion we know that the ball isn't exact. It predicts that she might not make it out alive from that whole thing, but it isn't exact. Basically what I'm saying is that I don't think that magic eight ball is as special as he makes it sound

Also, Dagfinn specifically says that the ghosts are jumping towards the sound, so does that mean he can hear Angie too? Of the kids, only Crystal hears it, and the others only notice something in the water because they see Angie's light

Honestly, with the way the police acted towards the girls reporting the leaper and the doctor that "treated" Niko after her collapse in episode 2, I'm starting to think there is something more going on with the people of Port Townsend. Dagfinn says the police won't do anything because there are no bodies, but are you seriously telling me that no one noticed the leapers going missing? Is it part of Angie's powers or something? I feel like a conspiracy theorist here, but you can't tell me there's nothing weird with the way the people in this town act about odd occurrences (and I know I'm skipping ahead, but with Brad and Hunter, are you seriously telling me there was no autopsy or anything after they died? The police just found these kids dead after a party, looked at them and said "yep, must have drank too much, no need to investigate further"? I don't know, there's just something weird about the way the town acts sometimes)

After the Cat King put the spell on him, Edwin physically tries to keep the words from coming out You can see him swallow them before he is forced to say them. I'm a sucker for this kind of trope tbh, so I'm living for it

I wish we got to find out more about Asha. Like, she can't just be a regular human right? Her portrait of Lilith is perfect, and she had the way to contact the Washer Woman written in one of her drawings. I know she said she was on drugs when she did those, but there has to be more to her, right?

Crystal's boots have flowers painted on them???? That's so cute! I love her. Do they come like that or do you think she painted them herself? Cause that would be amazing

Love the fact that the characters can ask the Washer Woman all they want, but the moment they ask for a non-riddle answer they are sent back. Like, Crystal gets to say "I don't know what that means" and "I don't understand" after hearing her riddle, but the second she starts asking for a direct answer she is thrown out of that realm thingy. Hilarious. I love the Washer Woman so much and the idea of her pettily sending people away because they won't accept the riddle is so funny to me

Edwin is still holding the red sea glass after they return from the Washer Woman, so theoretically they could have given Tragic Mick that very same sea glass. It might no have worked, but still, point is that they still had it

Jenny has a tattoo of a meat cleaver on her hand. That is the most Jenny thing that I have ever seen. I can't really see what the rest of that tattoo is, though, but regardless. Love her dedication to her brand

Have to love Edwin leaving Crystal to rummage through the garbage with Charles when ghosts wouldn't get dirty like she does. Monty is one hell of a distraction. On that same note, why is Niko the one putting the meat on the music box when either boy could have done it without getting their hands dirty?

Niko just puts on gloves after handling the meat huh? She dusts her hands a little and then puts on gloves, like her hands weren't fully red from the blood a second before

Niko's pants have a white flower embroidered (?) on the side. A little detail, but I always thought her whole outfit was plain color with no added things besides the mushrooms on her hat

The Night Nurse has like a reading light clipped to her book that she uses to dramatically light her face when she's telling Charles that the world sucks and he should move onto his afterlife

Love that after Charles' flashback is done the Night Nurse asks Edwin what trauma he'd like to relieve. What do you think his worse trauma is? His time in hell maybe? Why the fuck would he want to leave the world? I get why she would ask Charles and why she would show him his trauma from his time alive, but Edwin? It would have made no sense for her to try to convince him to go with her by showing him his trauma

I mentioned on the episode 3 details that Edwin doesn't flinch much in the Devlin house, but he's the first to flinch when Charles hits the Night Nurse, and actually gasps and calls Charles' name after the second hit. It must be a terrible shock for him, seeing good, smiley Charles like this, so angry and vicious against someone. Even if Charles calls himself the brawn, this is different, worse. He's probably never seen his friend like that, which only lends more credibility to what Crystal has been telling him. Maybe he doesn't know Charles as well as he's always thought

After Charles falls down crying, the other three share a look in the background, like they're trying to decide who should go comfort him

[riddlerosehearts]

anyway my "why i don't think idia is (usually) stinky" post from earlier today did remind me of a wider issue i have with how people in the fandom treat idia sometimes: i've been engaging with this fandom since march 2023 and since then i've seen all kinds of headcanons and fics and such where he's characterized not just as smelly and sweaty and gross 24/7--but also as "the token straight", homophobic, an incel and a perv. and people always seem to automatically do this when they see a gamer/otaku character, no matter what the character's other traits may be, and i hate it. idia is a genius engineer and needs to clean up before he works with machines at the very least. idia very freely calls characters like vil, silver, and malleus gorgeous and handsome and attractive. idia's canon favorite anime is not some battle shonen series that's likely to have an abundance of oversexualized women and fanservice, but a wholesome and heartwarming sports anime about the friendship between a team of young women. idia is a wonderful character who's just as complex as anyone else in twst.

[dreamsy990]

my thoughts on ddd basically boil down to "great game! kill the story with fire and sticks." which i think is about the coldest take ever. do not get me started on how nobodies having hearts is a dumbfuck plot twist i am so full of rage over that.

[cockquette]

i forgot the simple joys of lying i should just start spouting bullshit until my other half bega me to stop

[lacrimosathedark]

Bat-Family Nicknames and Insults

So I went off the other day because fans keep having people who aren't Roy Harper call Jason Todd "Jaybird" and now I'm thinking about all the other nickname misconceptions so here's a probably non-comprehensive list of nicknames among the Bat Fam.

(Special thanks to @sohotthateveryonedied for a bunch of my data, she made a whole powerpoint with actual comic panels! Go check that out! Also got some info from @kiragecko who was writing some lists with more specific references.)

This list is an active document and will be edited in the event I find more nicknames or have more to say

Addendum note: I'm more than willing to add something I forgot, but you must have receipts. I'm not just going off of memory. Nothing will be added to this list without proof. If you don't have a source, please don't make a suggestion.

This is aside from assorted common insults and nicknames like jerk, ass, shorty, dude, idiot, etc.. Sidenote, every not-Steph Robin has been called “Little Bird”, “Birdboy” and/or “Wonder Boy” at some point. It’s kinda part of the job lol Secondary side-note, the only ones who REALLY use nicknames for people are Barbara and Jason. And Tim specifically in reference to Damian. Everyone else pretty much uses their names 98% of the time. Final note (sorryyyyyy) generally unless they're funny to me, I'm not including things used only once unless I have gotten vibes that it's a trend. This is an attempt to compile recurring nicknames. So ones noted to be used once are either I can only confirm it happened once but could happen multiple times, or I think it's hilarious.

Alfred Pennyworth

Al/Alf Seems to be a common nickname among the boys.

Alfie Dick, Tim, and Jason have all called him this.

Alfredo Jason called him this at least once and I think that’s funny. Not sure it’s exclusive though.

Mom Dick seems to have referred to him as such once…I’m sorry but that’s so funny.

Alfred also has specific ways of referring to everyone: Bruce: Master Bruce, Mister Wayne, Lad, Bruce, My Son Barbara: Mistress Barbara, Miss Barbara, Miss Gordon, Miss Oracle Dick: Master Dick, Master Richard, Master Grayson, Dear Boy, Young Sir, Young Man, Richard, Dick Cassandra: Miss Cassandra, Young Cassandra, My Dear Jason: Master Jason, Young Sir, Lad, Jason Tim: Master Tim, Master Timothy, Young Master Tim, Lad, Young Sir, Young Man, Timothy, Tim Damian: Master Damian, Young Master Damian, Young Sir, Young Man, Son, Damian

Bruce Wayne

Spooky Oliver Queen calls him this, others might as well but I legitimately have no idea.

Batsy Everyone and their goddamn dog, but Joker uses this notably a lot.

Detective RA'S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I think? But this is how Ra's generally refers to Bruce.

B-Man HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE...I think. She calls him this a lot though.

While Dick and Jason will internally think of Bruce as their father, Dick rarely says so and extremely rarely calls him “Dad”. Jason would only say so mockingly or under pain of a second death. Tim rarely even thinks of Bruce as his father (he didn’t become Robin to be Bruce’s kid, and he doesn’t want to replace his own father—much the same way Dana didn’t replace Janet) and never refers to him as such outside of WE work (where he very much uses that to his advantage). Damian almost exclusively refers to Bruce as “Father” but has called him "Dad". Steph sometimes calls him “Boss”. Everyone usually calls him "Bruce".

He refers to ALL of the boys as “chum” and “lad” at some point. It’s just how he used to talk honestly. He DOES NOT call them “sweetie” or “honey” or anything like that. He DOES, however, speak to small children this way. There are multiple instances of him using "sweetheart" and similar terms when dealing with young children. This differentiation I think is for two reasons. One, Bruce is emotionally stunted and being open with anyone outside of actively comforting is difficult for him, and two, the youngest child he has ever had himself was 9 years old so he's never had a small child he'd be likely more inclined to be extra super soft with.

Barbara Gordon

Babs Most people call her this. Bruce doesn’t seem to though, oddly enough.

Babsy/Babsie Both Dick and Jim Gordon have called her this. Very cute.

Barb/Barbie Nearly exclusive to Jason Todd, actually. I think her dad calls her this once in a while, but specifically Jason calls her this.

Babes A few of her friends call her this, but mostly Luke Fox when they were dating.

Red A few people call her this, but mostly Jason and not real often. Probably cuz we already have a red-head often referred to as “Red” (Pam Isely by Harley) and as to not be confused with the other two Reds in the family (Red Hood and Red Robin).

The High Priestess of Tech More of a reference than a nickname, but I think it’s funny. Dick referred to her as such.

O For Oracle!

Dick Grayson Exclusives because Boyfriend Baby Love Beautiful

Richard Grayson

Dick Everyone calls him this. Almost no one calls him Richard.

Dickie His parents also called him this, along with other people who knew him from Haly’s Circus, but otherwise it’s mostly just Jason.

Dickster I…hate that this is canon lmao. Dick has thought this one in his inner monologue, but Jason has also said it at least once. It’s…Something.

Circus Boy Common insult, Jason uses it a few times.

Tight Ass No comment.

Rob Kinda rare for him and more a Tim thing, but his Titans team call him this sometimes. I specifically remember Wally doing so, and Roy too I think.

Boy Wonderful Not marking this as exclusive because Babs probably used it at one point but, shockingly (or not) this comes from Wally West! Wally has also called his Titans team as a group “Dear Hearts” at least once which is just so fucking cute. Neeeeeerd.

Kid Not exclusive to him, but consistently called this by Slade Wilson/Deathstroke over most anything else.

Marcia TIM DRAKE EXCLUSIVE. A joke between him and Tim, assigning each Bat-boy a Brady Bunch member.

Little Robin MARY GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. This is where the hero name Robin came from; Dick’s mom used to call him this.

Dickie-Bird JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Jason calls Dick this a lot during his weird appearances in Nightwing that I pretend never happened because it was weird and dumb. But it is a canonical nickname. And it’s funny.

Amy Rohrbach Exclusives because Partner Rookie Stud Cowboy Sherlock Mr. Confident

Barbara Gordon Exclusives because Girlfriend (and because she’s funny) Flatterer Boyfriend The Brightest, Sweetest, Most Handsome, Wealthiest Young Bachelor on the Entire East Coast Buckaroo Bucko Candy-Gram Darling Lover Love Hunk Wonder Man Wonder Hound Wonder Former Teen Wonder Twenty Something Wonder Blue Wonder Poor Lovable Naïve Dope Pixie Boots

Cassandra Cain

Cass Pretty much everyone calls her this.

Cassie Some people call her this, specifically the people closest to her; Stephanie, Tim, Barbara, Bruce, and Duke. It’s generally used sparingly, especially considering Tim is close to ANOTHER Cassandra who goes by “Cassie” almost exclusively, so Cass is generally preferred to avoid confusion. But Cassie is tossed around.

Batghoul Possibly Stephanie Brown exclusive, though easy enough that I wouldn’t be surprised if others called her that. She is notoriously spooky.

Bat-Babe KON-EL/CONNER KENT EXCLUSIVE. These two are actually good friends and dated for a short time. They’re very cute. And they met at the time Kon was just…Like That.

Jason Todd

Jay Literally everyone calls him this sometimes. It’s a common nickname.

Jace/Jase Also pretty common, but seems to mostly be among family. Dick and Bruce have at least both called him this.

The Toddster Was called such by Danny Chase, implying they were friends somehow? (Jason didn't have many Titans missions so idk how they were close enough for him to call him that). He calls him that when he discovers Jason’s status in the system is “unknown”, leading him to find out he’s dead.

Rojo Referred to himself as this once while he was still a crime boss, so presumably some of his gang called him this too. Obviously Spanish for red because Red Hood.

Little Bird Possibly exclusive to Barbara Gordon, she called him this in a flashback.

Jan That Dick and Tim Brady Bunch joke. Just imagine one of them looking Jason dead in the eye and saying “Sure, Jan.”

Little Wing DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. Called Robin Jason this in Nightwing Year 1 and it’s very cute.

Jaybird ROY HARPER EXCLUSIVE. The reason I’m making this post because no one seems to remember that Roy and only Roy has ever called Jason this. But any time these two appear together, it’s usually said at least once.

Stephanie Brown

Steph Pretty much everyone calls her this at one point.

Stephie A few people if I recall, but I know Tim’s called her that.

Blondie Pretty sure a few people call her this, but notably Harper Row.

Damian Wayne Exclusives because He Was A Brat Wench Fatgirl Girl Blunder

Timothy Drake

Tim Everyone to the point where it’s just his name.

Timmy A lot of people call him this pretty teasingly. Dick, Jason, and Babs do it consistently, but that’s older siblings for ya. Bernard has done it too.

Timbo Dick and Jason as well as his friend Ives have called Tim this at the very least. Tim notably doesn't seem to like it, though he has used it himself in a derogatory way in his inner monologue.

Timbers I’ve only ever seen Jason call him this, but I could be missing things. Would not be surprised if Dick did too, but it’s very Jason.

Rob Most of Young Justice called him that up until he revealed his name (which took a while because Bruce was being controlling and overprotective, as he does). Short for “Robin”, obviously, which is all they knew him as.

My Robin I’m pretty sure each member of Young Justice has said this about Tim, though Conner does it the most and has the biggest negative reaction to literally anyone but Tim being Robin.

Cindy DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. It’s that Brady Bunch joke again!

Little Brother DICK GRAYSON EXCLUSIVE. I didn't originally include it because it had the same vibes as like "dude" or "jerk"; something that's easily tossed around, y'know? And it feels like a descriptor, but it is actually used as a title/nickname several times, especially when Dick is messing with Tim.

Pretender JASON TODD EXCLUSIVE. Though it should be noted, he only directly called him this one time. Aside from that, he more refers to Tim as A pretender, not as like a nickname or title. It’s a description. (like “replacement” was but fandom made that a nickname yes I am in fact bitter)

Duckboy HARLEY QUINN EXCLUSIVE. She says this once, but it’s hilarious so I’m keeping it.

Detective RA’S AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. Ra’s is very particular about titles. The only other person he refers to as “Detective” is Bruce, and Dick one time in his internal monologue, so he is acknowledging Tim’s competence. And then proceeds to get a large portion of his resources obliterated by Tim <3

Stephanie Brown Exclusives because Girlfriend Sweetie Muffin Boy Virgin

Duke Thomas

Narrows Almost Jason exclusively, though I think Harper has called him this once or twice. In reference to the neighborhood he grew up in, as opposed to Jason and Harper's Park Row aka Crime Alley upbringing.

Newbie Jason calls him this frequently, though it's likely the others have too.

Baby Bird ELAINE THOMAS EXCLUSIVE. Yeah, surprisingly Duke is actually called this by his mom.

Damian Wayne

Gremlin Mostly exclusive to Tim, but Jason has called him this too. This also seems to be Tim’s go-to for Damian when not using his name or codename.

Dami Used by Jon Kent and Talia al Ghul, so presumably those closest to him.

Little D I think Barbara Gordon exclusive but I’m not sure.

Cousin Oliver Not said to his face to my knowledge, but the Brady Bunch in-joke between Dick and Tim.

Prince/Your Highness (other royal variations) A common way to mock Damian for his haughty air and stuck-up attitude. More common in the past because Damian was The Worst and never shut up about being the heir to Batman and the Demon's Head. He's grown a lot since then and this kind of joke is used less. He is still pretty snooty though.

D JON KENT EXCLUSIVE. I have yet to see anyone else call him this at least, and this is how Jon almost always refers to him.

Baby Bird TALIA AL GHUL EXCLUSIVE. I’ve seen her call him this once, and I don’t recall ever seeing anyone else call him this. Just wanted it known that Talia is the only one to call Damian this.

Tim Drake Exclusives because Tim is Petty and Damian was a Brat Little Monster Hobbit Homunculus Little snot Spoiled, vicious and homicidal little punk Heir to the Kingdom of the Damned

Note on how Damian refers to others: Damian usually uses full first names or surnames, depending on circumstance and closeness. He occasionally calls Dick “Dick” or “Richard”, but often calls him “Grayson”. He almost always refers to Tim as “Drake”, but occasionally as “Timothy”.

Fanon names that I dislike

Replacement Jason never once calls Tim this, and refers to Tim as A replacement about as much as Dick did about Jason (Yes Dick has at least once when talking to Bruce referred to Jason as his replacement). How common it is in this fandom to call Tim "Replacement" (with a capital R like it's a name or title!!!) drives me absolutely insane. It's not canon and tbh you can do better. Hell, "pretender" is right there! And Jason's a nerd, he would do better.

Baby Bird Like…it’s cute, but given it’s used in fanon almost exclusively for Tim, and POST DAMIAN, it just feels infantalizing. Especially when the only canon uses are mothers towards their kids. I see this a lot with Dick and Jason using it, which is...just no. Like, Dick, I get it, but he's more likely to call Tim "Little Brother". Jason would never allow himself to be seen as this soft to Tim. If he were trying to be gentle with him, he'd probably call him "kid". He's done that before.

Baby Bat(s) I have seen this used literally twice. Once where a goon mockingly called Tim that, and once in an AU where Harley said it to Damian. "Baby Bat" isn't a thing. Sorry.

Big Bird More amusing than anything but a little annoying. No one ever calls Dick that in canon and whenever I read it all I can think of is Sesame Street so unless a giant yellow muppet bird is what you're going for, maybe don't do that lol

Demon Brat/Demon Spawn Not the most egregious thing, especially considering the numerous nicknames Tim comes up with, but the consistency of its usage in fanon is a little frustrating. This is never used in-canon, and if you want to use it in your fanworks, just maybe intersperse it with other more creative nicknames, yeah? It's just unoriginal at this point.

Jaylad I don’t hate this one, but it’s such a huge misconception that it’s canon. Bruce has said “Jay, lad” a couple times because he calls like every boy he meets “lad” and people made up “Jaylad”. Not the worst thing ever, but it's not canon.

Golden Boy I don't actually have a problem with this one, but I may as well clear up that this is canon as a descriptor but not as a nickname for Dick. Like calling Jason "the dead Robin". Like, people have said that about him in-canon, but they haven't called him that. The common derivative "Goldie" is entirely fanon.

Non-canon nicknames I think are funny

Dick-face/Dickhead I’m sorry, I find it hilarious whenever someone (usually Jason) in fanfic calls him this. It’s also to me just a silly exaggeration of the obvious joke that has been made at least once (but probably several times by now) in canon about someone being about to call Nightwing a dick and someone else reminding them not to use names in the field. I think it’s hilarious.

Timberly I can’t tell you why this specific deviation of Tim is funny to me but it is. And I'm surprised I haven't seen Jason call Tim this in canon.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

I’m so sorry for this guys but

AITA for telling someone their horse was masturbating?

Basically does what it says on the tin. For those of you who don’t know horses can masturbate. It’s most common in male horses under the age of three who have not had their testicles removed and who are confined to a stall or small pen and get really bored. They typically grow out of the behaviour once they’re older or given more freedom. Some owners try to train them to stop it from happening but most just ignore it because it’s better than other boredom behaviours like cribbing and wind-sucking (both are SFW to Google btw).

Anyway, I’m a groom and stable hand, mid-twenties now but been working at my job since I was fifteen (part-time then, now full-time). The stable I work at boards horses and gives lessons but also offers training for young horses, so we get a lot of OTTB here – that is “off-the-track Thoroughbreds”, so ex-racing horses that people typically buy cheap and then retrain to be show jumpers or dressage horses or whatever. One such horse is Bert, who is the horse in question in this situation.

Bert has excellent bloodlines but he sucked as a racing horse so he was sold OTT. The man who bought him, I’ll just call him John, knows nothing about horses – he’s a total beginner in every way, has never ridden and pays other people (including me) to take care of Bert, but claims to be an expert in everything equine because Bert cost him so much money (I don’t know the actual amount but he’s in the section of the stable where the $20,000 Warmbloods are boarded so I’m assuming around that amount which is a lot yes but also not the most expensive horse we’ve had here).

Anyway the actual story – I’m at work cleaning out stalls when John walks past, he completely ignores me as he always does so I do the same and get back to work. A few minutes later he goes sprinting back in the opposite direction which I thought was weird but whatever, I kept mucking, until I heard him shouting for help. I went out into the aisle and he’s there shouting at another groom and demanding to know the emergency vets number (it was a weekday morning btw, so he didn’t need the emergency vet, he just needed the regular vet but that’s meaningless anyway). I went over to see what was happening and he tells me his horse (Bert) is ‘acting weird’ and needs a vet immediately, so I offer to go see Bert for myself and then call the vet if necessary.

So basically yeah Bert was masturbating. Had an erection, was rocking about rubbing it on his tummy, and did NOT want anyone going in his stall or touching him. John points at Bert and says something like “see, he’s sick!” and then tells me Bert tried to attack him when he entered the stall and I just, I dunno, I cough and say that Bert is fine and just wants some privacy right now, figuring that the obvious erection might be a giveaway as to what’s happening? But John turned to me and blurts out word for word “are you an actual retard” and then starts cursing at me and telling me I know nothing and Bert needs a vet etc and so on. I kind of blanked on everything else he said after he called me a retard to be honest because WTF? I don’t really know what went on in my brain in the next few seconds but I ended up shouting – yes, shouting, extremely loudly, it fucking echoed in the stable – “he doesn’t need a vet because HE’S JUST MASTURBATING” in John’s face and then walking back to the stall I’d been mucking.

As I got back to the stall I heard laughter from a couple of aisles over. Apparently my co-workers and some riders who were there had all heard me shout and found it hilarious, and that made me laugh too because it was so freaking ridiculous. I honestly kind of forgot the entire encounter afterwards because we had a horse who actually needed a vet a little while later and yeah, John and Bert just slipped my mind.

I didn’t remember until that afternoon when my boss came to see me and said he’d had a complaint from John who wanted me fired. I did not get fired but I did get ‘warned’ (just a formality, my boss didn’t actually punish me but wanted me to act like I had been if John questioned me later, which he never did). John complained that I’d treated him like an idiot, spoken down to him, and “acted above my position” (those were the exact words he used) causing people to laugh at him. I explained the entire situation to my boss, who also laughed, and that was that, nothing else ever came of it aside from my co-workers telling the story of me shouting HE’S MASTURBATING so loudly it scared a pony into jumping so suddenly that it farted to everyone they possibly could.

Since then John has ignored me even more than before which I honestly consider a blessing, and I would leave this situation thinking I’m NTA except that one of my co-workers brought their boyfriend to the stable recently and when they introduced us the boyfriend said something like ‘oh right, you’re the asshole who talks down to people who don’t know everything about horses’ and yeah. My co-worker was blindsided by that as well and we basically both said you don’t have to know everything about horses to know what an erection means, but since then I’ve been wondering if I am TA in this situation? Like, clearly there were better ways to tell John what his horse was doing, but he called me a retard and also I get paid to take care of horses not to teach the birds and the bees to fifty year olds so I don’t know. I’ll let Tumblr decide.

So, AITA for telling John his horse was masturbating?

Additional info: I'm on a rota with other stable hands so I sometimes groom Bert, muck his stall, attend to his vet/farrier appointments, give him worming paste, etc and so on. I am not his trainer and have no input into when he gets to leave his stall. I've mentioned to my boss a couple of times that he boredom stims and should be in a paddock with other young horses, but John refuses to agree to that for reasons I don't know. My boss has since spoken to Bert's trainer who is now trying to convince John to let Bert have more time outdoors.

What are these acronyms?

[malarign]

hi can i get an enhypen when you are jealous ? also can you tag @chmberfve that’s my account but i’m not logged in at the moment 🩷

invidia

contains: ot7 x fem!reader | genre: angst, fluff | tw! mention of nam joohyuk and stray kids’ bangchan and felix, honestly idk what else i have no energy to read that sorry | wc: 1,6k

author’s note: sorry it took so long @chmberfve!! hope you like it though!

Lee Heeseung | 이희승

heeseung really loved it whenever you came backstage with them during promotions

it wasn’t something unusual though, since you were one of their stylists

but apart from preparing his makeup, you had to sometimes take care of the others

which well, he didn’t really enjoy watching

no matter how many times it happened he just couldn’t get used to it, especially today when you had to do pretty detailed makeup for jay

“Can you hold your head straight? I’m begging you Heeseung,” one of the stylists sighed countless time and just forcefully made him face the mirror and not the two of you.

He huffed and tried to watch you in the reflection of the mirror but to his dissatisfaction, you were completely out of sight.

“Open your eyes now for me,” you asked Jay, completely unaware of the simmering with jealousy boyfriend who maybe didn’t see everything, but he could hear everything.

His stylist went to grab another brush was his cue to grab a chance and take a look at the situation to his left. The view made him open his mouth slightly and furrowed his brows.

“Maybe just sit on his lap, wouldn’t it be easier that way?” he blundered out, making you stop and finally realize what your boyfriend has been going through.

You covered your mouth, in an attempt to suppress your laugh.

“You think that’s funny?” he mumbled under his nose, not completely aware of two hair rollers on his bangs that made him look rather hilarious.

“Kinda, yeah.” Your voice came out muffled.

He wanted to argue more, but he got interrupted, by his poor stylist, who now didn’t waste time to ask him, but just forcefully moved his head, saving you from another nag.

Park Jongseong | 박종성

let’s just say you shouldn’t have covered heeseung when you spotted him napping

poor boy got woken up by jay snatching it from his body

too confused to ask questions he thankfully just got on his side and continued sleeping

while jay stood still with the said blanket in his hand

giving you one of those disappointed looks

“How about you cover your boyfriend when he’s taking his nap?” he asked, tilting his head to the side.

“Babe, you’re going to wake him up,” you reasoned and brought your pointer finger to your lips.

“I don’t care, why do you do?” he said even a bit louder and quicker.

He would look intimidating with the way his jaw got tense and palms squeezed in fists, if not for the pout on his lips. You couldn’t help but smile while taking a few steps to get closer to him.

“You’re so cute when you’re jealous,” you mumbled against his lips before planting a soft peck on them.

His brows raised. “Me? Jealous?” He pointed at his chest with his pointer finger. Nodding you noticed a pair of eyes watching you from the couch.

“That was so disgusting,” said Heeseung, clearly awake now and disgusted from your mushy moment.

Sim Jaeyun | 심재윤

the moment he saw you talk with felix and chan he was so happy

he really wanted you to meet them and get along

but ig he didn’t expect you to get so close in just one gathering??

unfortunately for you (and him) he’s a pouty jelly bf

so the moment it was just the two of you he asked you an unreasonable amount of questions

“Do you like Felix more than me?” You could swear he was just on the other side of your living room yet he somehow teleported next to you causing a mini heart attack.

“What? No, of course not,” you said confused, scanning his sad eyes and pouty lips.

“How about Chan? Do you think I should work out more?” he continued his interrogation with you.

A smile crept to your lips watching his manic state, but you finally had to stop this madness. Cupping his cheeks managed to make him shut his mouth and finally look at you after minutes of him avoiding your gaze.

“I’m overreacting, right?” He bit his lower lip and smiled sheepishly.

“Maybe a little,” you chuckled and gave him a quick peck. “You have nothing to worry about, though. I don’t want them, because they’re not you.”

Park Sunghoon | 박성훈

now you would definitely know when his feeling jealous by his unusual silence at home

not even your lame jokes would make him utter a word

and today you completely crossed the line by borrowing a hoodie from sunoo

tbh you knew that he would react like this but c’mon

at least you had an excuse to cling to him even more, as an apology

Sunghoon brushed past you coolly for the nth time that evening, this time nonchalantly taking a juice from the fridge you were currently rummaging through. You followed with your eyes his silhouette and scanned his features — nose raised high and adamant look typical for his jealousy now decorated his whole demeanor.

“So you’re really jealous about that hoodie.” You closed the fridge and leaned on the kitchen island.

He slowly turned his head to face you, still unimpressed. “No,” he answered shortly.

“So you are!” You poked his side and he glared at you. Before he could say something you already climbed on your toes to plant multiple kisses on his jaw, cheeks, and finally lips. “Nah, you’re not going to bribe me with kisses,” he shook his head after you were done.

“You didn’t oppose it though.” You smiled triumphantly, making him roll his eyes.

“I just don’t understand why you didn’t ask me, your boyfriend, to lend you a hoodie. You know I have plenty of them since you’re constantly cold, yet you asked none other but him…”

Kim Sunoo | 김선우

he really rarely gets jealous, though there are times he just breaks

massages his temples and sighs, doesn’t matter if you do this on purpose

unfortunately (for him) you manage to make him lose his cool with a huge success

“what about me???”

It wasn’t the first time Sunoo recommended a drama, but your excitement and investment in new episodes were definitely higher than usual. And he couldn’t blame you, who wouldn’t fall for Nam Joo-hyuk? However, your obsession started to concern him, leading to his jealousy. But you skipping edits of your own boyfriend only to watch edits of your new favourite actor was the complete crossing of boundaries.

“What are you watching?” Sunoo said snatching your phone and throwing it on the other side of the couch. You opened your eyes wide in shock and somehow managed to not throw hands at him.

“Sun, that was very important!” You tried to get it back but he stopped you.

“You must’ve lost your mind to think he is more important than your boyfriend! Hello? I’m right here!” He argued, holding your phone as far away as he could, while you fought for your life and wellbeing.

“If you saw that edit you would understand!” You tried to bribe him.

“I’m sure engenes edits are much better. Or my fancams. Anything!”

Yang Jungwon | 양정원

now it’s not easy to either make jungwon lose his patience or get jealous

but when he is he rather communicates it with you

telling you he didn’t appreciate the way you ignored him and just talked to heeseung

or how you showed your soft spot for riki and not him (honestly how could you?)

though he has one (1) weak spot which is sleeping on the shoulder of somebody who isn’t him

Jungwon tried really hard not to glare at Sunoo, though it was much harder said than done. You were peacefully sleeping, and after eight long hours of running errands, you just dozed off on his shoulder.

Why couldn’t you just wait a second for him to come back from the bathroom? He left you for not even 5 minutes yet you managed to drift away.

“Are you comfortable?” he suddenly asked, a little too loud.

Sunoo frowned and held his pointer finger against his lips. “You’re going to wake them up. And yes, I am. Thank you for your concern,” he replied and continued scrolling social media.

Jungwon pursed his lips in a thin line, knowing there was only one last thing he could do. “You know she’s sometimes drooling in her sleep, right?”

His question made Sunoo look up, first, he glanced at Jungwon then at you. “Y/n? You can now lean on your boyfriend.” Poor boy got scared of a pool of saliva potentialy forming on his jacket and quickly woke you up.

Confused you looked around and smiled at the view of Jungwon, unaware of his blatant lie continued to slumber now on his shoulder.

Nishimura Riki | 西村力

THIS BABEYY

pouts, sulking and crossing his arms were the main indicators of his jealousy usually caused by you daring to laugh at sunghoon’s jokes

they’re not even that funny? his jokes are way funnier than any of them

multiple sighs and clearing throat interrupted his every word now, all of this accompanied by his intense glares

talk about being petty and sassy

He knew what awaited him the moment he heard your laughter through the door to their dance practice room. Rolling his eyes he walked in nonchalantly, lowkey expecting you to stop but you dared to continue to be in convulsions. Tears ran down your cheeks as your hands grabbed your stomach.

“I can’t!” you managed to utter through giggles, unable to catch your breath properly.

Riki watched you carefully, waiting for you to finally acknowledge his presence. Finally, he cleared his throat, gaining your and the rest of his members’ attention.

“Hi baby,” you said, leaning on his shoulder. He usually would lay his head on top of yours yet he didn’t, making you sit straight. What hit you instantly was his visible pout. “Oh, you’re sulking?”

“I’m not,” he mumbled, but his pout sold him out.

“Ohh, somebody’s jelly!” Jake pointed to him causing a fit of laughter and the teasing began.

thank you for reading! back to the masterlist

[the-cat-and-the-birdie]

I think Hobie brown is the one character I've seen written completely out of character the most

Like, he would NOT say that

He definitely is. I see people write Miles and Gwen as spot on (pun unintended). Miguel and Pavitr are usually butchered for linguistics reasons

But with Hobie, him being a punk - one from a very specific time - adds a whole new layer of difficultly and honestly. At this point, I can't even blame people.

I think Hobie's mischaracterization is caused by two primary things, one purposeful, and one not. Please allow me to rant.

Hobie Brown, Mischaracterization, and the Sanitization of Punk Culture

I think Hobie's characterization is the perfect example of the way media purposely deminished and trivialized the punk identity in order to erase it's political connotations.

In other words, people misunderstanding Hobie shows how the media warped and censored the definition of 'punk' in the last 50 years.

And that's on purpose.

Let's take the hippies for an example. When you think of them, what beliefs comes to mind?

Peacefulness, usually. Pot smoking. Music loving. And Anti-war. They love peace. The phrase 'Make Love, Not War' make come to mind.

But it's easier for the media to historically display hippies as people who were opposed to war - rather than people who were openly oppossed to the Vietnamese War.

As in, they weren't just opposed to war - which they were. They were also specifically opposed to the United States government crossing borders in order to push a capitalist agenda in Vietnam.

It's easy to say hippes loved communes - then to say 'Hippies were Communist'. With a couple words switched around - sanitization.

Punk is just like that.

It's easier to focus on the response rather than the source. It's easier to look at Hobie singing than to consider what he'd be singing about in those songs.

I feel like in the past 50 years the media has purposely centered the outrage of punk around music - as a targeted distraction, and a method of silencing. This goes from the outward hatred of Sex Pistols - to a President's wife literally taking a metal band to court in order to get the 'Explicit Content label' instated for the first time.(crazyyyy long story- crazy interesting. Google 'Mary Gore vs Twister Sister' - the videos of the band in court is hilarious)

But anyway the outrage of punk music in specific and the silencing of the message behind it kinda changed the way people viewed punks.

Media very much wanted to make punk something about senseless rebellion towards everything, the same way they tried to turn anarchy into 'unending chaos that never stops', when neither of those things are true.

Basically saying 'Oh, those people over there? They aren't angry oppressed people screaming and forming a community based around resilience, those are teeennagerrs. theyre just screaming cause theyre mad at their dads or something PLEASE dont look at them PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT CHECK IF WE'RE TELLING THE TRUTH'

And so people are presented with someone like Hobie, they see the loud music, but not picking up what he's saying if you get my drift.

And the other thing I'll try to keep short.

It's not purposeful, but I think it matters.

The Internet - Subculture vs Aesthetic

I don't think this is something that's been talked about yet.

But I feel like a lot of people misunderstand what a subculture is. So when they see Hobie, they see fashion, and music taste, and attitude. They instead perceive him as an aesthetic. Not someone who participates in subculture.

Subculture is a way of life. It encompasses not only your fashion and music tastes, but it can and usually extends to things like your morals, your behaviors, the spaces you exist in, etc.

Goth, Punk, Vegans, hell - even Nudists - are all subcultures. Because they effects the persons lifestyle. Subcultures are lifestyles.

Aesthetics are not.

An aesthetic is a (usually) visual ambience that is meant to evoke a specific emotion.

Aesthetics can extend to fashion, decor, and music taste - but not your morality or behavior.

E-girls, Emos, Hipsters, what have you - all aesthetics as they do not encompass morals, or behaviors.

And because of that - there are things that do or don't make you a punk. But there aren't really things that do or don't 'make you emo'.

Aesthetics don't have conditions, but subcultures do.

You have to be anti-government to be punk. You don't have to hate your life to be emo.

(Which is why when people bring this up, people are quick to call 'gatekeeping!' Because in the context of aethetics gatekeeping is seen as unneccesary, whereas in subcultures 'gatekeping' is more so protecting the underlying beliefs and motivations of the movement. People who see Hobie as an aesthetic will find these conditions odd because they're not seeing his punkness as a subculture.)

Today on the internet, it's a lot more common and easy to engage in an aesthetic. It's not uncommon for someone to purposefully pick an aesthetic - and go all out - simply because they like it. It's great. I engage with an aesthetic all the time.

But because of that, when people see Hobie it's easy to immediately be like 'oh okay hes doing it out of fashion hes doing it because he vibes with it cool.'

They look at Hobie the way they would look at an eboy (do those still exist).

______________________________________________

Sooo mixing the censored image of a punk along with the modern-day instinct to perceive something as an aesthetic rather than a way of life kinda causes.....this.

A Hobie tag were a lot of people completely misunderstand who he is as a person and his motivations as a superhero outside of 'I hate the establishment'.

Plus add in a dash of people just being totally blank on 70's politics. The Vietnam War, Margaret Thatcher coming to power, the IRA, etc. - all of those things I think tells us a lot about Hobie. I'm currently on a piece about that and an explainer of most of those events. Or if you want a brief rundown please feel free to ask, I'll do my best.

If you wanna know Hobie more - don't listen to punk music. Go read the lyrics, if you get what I mean. They truly do have something to say.

Hope this made some sense, thanks for reading if you made it this far :) also no proofread we die like kings but ill most likely do it later and delete this note.

[genshingorlsrevengeance]

Reacting and taking care of their S/O who, due to some accident, ended up shrinking in size, to the point where they can carry them with the palm of their hands.

Genshin Girls: Beidou, Noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Ganyu, Shogun Ei and Yae Miko.

(Genshin Impact) Beidou, Noelle, Eula, Shenhe, Ganyu, Ei, and Yae's S/O getting shrunk down

(Beidou) "How did you...? Bah, it doesn't matter. I'll get ya fixed up in no time, S/O!"

Beidou has no idea what caused S/O to become so tiny, but she won't rest until they're back to normal!

Though truth be told, Beidou just thought that S/O being tiny was a result of her being drunk off her ass.

While she does find it cute that she can carry them in her palm, she doesn't actually do so due to how much she talks with her hands, or in general just moves them.

She's afraid she's going to crush them based on pure muscle movement.

Instead, S/O rests comfortably on the back of her coat, near her neck, at least when they're moving.

Beidou has a bird cage in her room that she bought and adorned it with soft feathers.

(S/O) "...This makes me feel like a pet."

(Beidou) "Do you wanna be on the wooden floors of the Crux instead?"

At least this was temporary. Her first order of business is to get Ningguang to help out with this problem.

(Noelle) "My goodness, what happened to you?!"

Noelle is terribly confused, but she immediately sets off to find help, S/O safely in her palms all the while.

She becomes hyper aware of her grip strength and where S/O is, afraid that they would get hurt, crushed, stepped on, or all sorts of dangerous things!

Noelle goes to find Sucrose, Albedo, or Lisa, preferably all three so they could explain what happened!

She also becomes hyper defensive of anyone holding S/O, her palms shielding them as she turns her entire body away from said person.

(Noelle) "Ah, please do not touch S/O! They are in a very precarious state!"

(S/O) "Uh, Noelle? I still need to be able to see-"

(Noelle) "Please bear with me, it would give me peace of mind if you are wholly incapable of being harmed!"

(S/O) "If I were in anyone else's hands, I would've doubted that."

That comment makes Noelle beam with pride.

(Eula) "When I said that my vengeance would dwarf your entire being...I did not mean it literally."

(S/O) "Yes yes, very funny Eula. Now can you put me down? You holding me with two fingers just feels like I'm a grape or something."

Honestly? Eula finds the situation hilarious. Her teasing goes up tenfold when S/O is extremely tiny like this.

If they try to give her any lip, she'll just pull the-

(Eula) "How can you make such threats when you are the size of my thumb, S/O?"

-card.

Eula will ask Amber or the Traveler for help, and while she is concerned for S/O, there is a smile on her face whenever she looked at them.

A pocket S/O was very cute to her.

(Eula) "Would you like to go to Dragonspine with me in this state, S/O?"

(S/O) "What, you planning on turning me into a popsicle?"

(Eula) "That is an excellent idea!"

(Shenhe) "...You are tiny."

(S/O) "Really? I haven't noticed, Shenhe..."

Shenhe figured this is something that the Adepti can help her with.

In all her life, she had never encountered a situation as bizarre as her current predicament.

If Noelle was possessive of tiny S/O, then Shenhe is borderline yandere.

Those who seem to mean harm to her tiny significant other will be met with a violent and bloody end.

One which S/O's voice can be frantically heard coming out of her palms, begging her to stand down.

Hopefully her master, Cloud Retainer, can bring S/O back to normal.

(Shenhe) "Are you resting comfortably?"

(S/O) "I am but...resting on your chest is kind of...strange."

(Shenhe) "But you do so all the time."

(S/O) "It's one thing for me to rest my head on it, Shenhe, and an entirely different situation for me to literally sit on it!"

(Ganyu) "S-S/O! Are you okay, how did this happen? Don't worry, we'll get some help right away!"

Ganyu immediately defers to Cloud Retainer for bringing S/O back to normal.

But when she's told it'd take a few days before the rite would happen, Ganyu takes S/O with her at all times.

At work, S/O is sitting at her desk while she catches up on her neverending paperwork.

S/O has a plate with flowers to sit on as they watch her work.

In some strange fashion...Ganyu quite liked this.

It allowed S/O to be with her during work so she didn't feel entirely stressed.

Though the threat of S/O being blown away or crushed gave her a whole new level of stress.

(S/O) "Careful, Ganyu. You're sweating enough that it's threatening to splash on me."

(Ganyu) "R-REALLY?!"

(S/O) "A-ah, it was just a joke! Though, I guess not anymore with how you shot straight up like that...!"

(Ei) "...You did not tell me you were capable of this, S/O."

(S/O) "It's because I'm not!"

Ei decides to find out what happened to S/O herself, and leaves them in the most capable hands.

Also herself.

The Raiden Shogun stands unflinchingly on guard, meditating until Ei's return as S/O is sitting in her palm.

(S/O) "...Can I get something to eat?"

(Raiden) "Sara. Retrieve a bowl of rice at once."

(Sara) "Yes, Almighty Shogun!"

S/O awkwardly fidgets with their hands.

(S/O) "Can I move?-"

(Raiden) "No."

Meanwhile, Ei lets S/O sit on her finger like a bird, though they have a much harder time balancing themselves.

(Ei) "What a curious situation you have found yourself in."

(S/O) "Y-You don't have to stare at me that intensely, you know!"

(Yae) "Oh, how adorable you have become, S/O! I could just eat you up-"

(S/O) "Try it and I'm pulling out the fur on your ears!"

Yae has to try her best not to hurt herself laughing at S/O's situation.

Now this was worth writing down!

Though, S/O clearly disagreed.

(Yae) "Come now, S/O. I wouldn't be distressed, think of all the interesting new friends you can make!"

(S/O) "Yeah, plenty of bugs and birds would like to meet and eat me, Yae."

(Yae) "Do you want to test that out?"

(S/O) "Absolutely not!"

Surprisingly, she's seen this kind of situation happen throughout her long life.

And she knows that S/O will go back to normal in a few days.

But that's all the more reason for her to enjoy the time she has!

Who knows when the next time she'll be able to laugh this hard?

[lowkeycasanova]

hiii, just finished watching vinnie and fannita podcast, if your requests are open, could write something where his gf either in the background of that podcast or also as a guest with vinnie?

like that podcast was so funny and i want it so bad incorporated into a fic lol

thank uuuu💜

BOTTOMS UP

Lmao I love this idea. But I wrote it as bullet points. Sorry if it’s not what you expected.

*Vinnie's comments are bolded*

masterlist

——————————————————————————-

You’ve known of Fannita and her humor from her tik tok videos so you were excited to see how this played out.

As soon as Vinnie sat down in the chair, the flirty banter was on full display. Which you were well aware that was gonna happen beforehand.

The segment begins and Fannita teases him about the attention he gets from girls, being a pretty boy, and their "relationship".

You stand in the background, already laughing while watching their exchange.

"Your outfit reminds me of the movie Footloose" she told him. Fannita just be saying anything. And you love her for that.

She pokes fun at him just like you do and it's hilarious. But you also love how she asks the real questions. Doing the Lord's work.

"Why did you take a shot of that like it was vodka? That's blue gatorade." You are a victim of the sassy man apocalypse.

"Foot play, toe sucking- no." "He loves that! Why are you lying?" "No I don't!" "Why you lying?" "Bro-" "I heard through the grapevine that you looovvvee sucking toes." "What grapevine???" "The one that's...over there." she subtly points in your direction. Your eyes widen as you laugh. No way is she bringing you into this mess.

"Forehead kisses. Turn on." "Turn on." he smiles, looking up and making eye contact with you.

You love how more comfortable he became as the podcast went on.

And Vinnie is a good sport, responding with witty comebacks and sharing the playful anecdotes, all in the spirit of the show.

You don't feel any type of way about the sexual nature of the banter. Who wouldn't flirt with him when given the chance? You get to do it everyday.

"Do you curve slightly to the right or left?" She asked. He answered with a laugh, his face beet red. "You know, if you don't want to answer, there's someone else in the studio who can. And I'm sure you already know who it is." You fucking lost it. She definitely takes being a dicktective seriously. "Shut. Up." he responded with as much seriousness as he could muster. "My fault. I'll be quiet."

You meet up with Fannita afterwards and you're trying to calm down from laughing so much. She told you that she hoped nothing she said made you uncomfortable. You thanked her for that, but honestly, you knew it was all in good fun. You share the same sense of humor and you laughed the whole time. To you, it was playful teasing and her energetic/animated personality made it better. It was a genuine moment of appreciation from Fannita who praised you two as a couple.

[a-dumb-sarcastic-bisexual]

More headcanons of the Nimona trio being domestic dorks

Whenever the trio gets sick of each other they’ll ask the person in the trio they’re not pissed at to handle them

It always goes something like this “Ambrosius come get your kid they won’t leave me alone-“ “No Nemesis come get your husband he’s being a stick in the mud”

Or “Bal go get your son from prison he got arrested again” “Oh so he’s my son today?” “Yes when he’s stupid enough to get caught he’s your son” 

If you're wondering why Nimona doesn't just escape its cause they find it hilarious when Bal has to come to bail them out at random points in the day

There are also times when they’re proud or happy and they’ll say things like “I’m gonna go get my daughter ice cream” “Since when is she just your daughter?” “Since right now when she helped me fix my prosthetic” 

“Hey boss where’s my Nemesis I heard he got in a fight today” “I thought he was my Nemesis” “Not when he puts three guys in the hospital he’s not” 

Bal is one of those people who sees something and says “Why would I buy that when I can just make it” AND HE DOES

Nimona has a bad habit of fucking up speakers so Bal just set up a sound system throughout the house 

If the trio weren’t such antisocial losers with three friends combined their parties would be amazing

He made Ambrosius a skincare cabinet just so he could put actual medicine in the medicine cabinet 

When Nimona moved in he asked them what their ideal room would look like 

She gave him a rough draft and he did all of it

They spend a week tearing that room apart so they could soundproof it so she could rock out without disturbing the boys

She has sick ass LED lights and she’ll change the colors depending on her mood 

Ambrosius and Bal helped her paint the walls the most obnoxious shade of neon pink And then they didn’t complain when she spray painted over said walls 

It’s worth it to see her visibly relax when she enters her room

This man has gutted and put back together and rearranged their little house so many times it’s unrecognizable 

I also feel like everyone in the trio is a crafty bitch

They all have a million little hobbies that have produced even more trinkets that fill up their whole house 

Their house is this weird combination of comfy yet chaotic and it's a minimalists nightmare 

Cleaning is also a nightmare but they wouldn't change it for anything 

Back when they were in the institute Ambrosius was a terrible cook -♾️/10 his cooking would put people in the hospital 

After the knighting ceremony was the first time he was living by himself and didn’t have access to free food so he taught himself how to cook

Honestly most people would think he would give up

I mean there are only so many times you set water on fire before you throw in the towel

But he's a stubborn brat and cooking took his mind off of everything so he stuck with it

One day Bal came home to the smell of cooking and he assumed it was Nimona 

He swears to this day he had a heart attack when he saw Ambrosius in front of the stove and Nimona comfortably sitting at the dinner table not helping at all

He promptly dragged Nimona out of there like a bomb just went off and warned him not to touch Ambrosius’ food

He told Bal “The more you call it a biohazard the more I want to eat it” 

So Bal used him like a test dummy 

When Nimona finally did try it they turned to Bal and complained that he lied 

Bal thought he was being pranked until he was forced by Nimona to try the food 

And it was good 

More than good I was fucking amazing 

He asked Ambrosius quite frankly “Who are you and what have you done with my husband” 

Ambrosius just rolled his eyes and told him to eat the food

Bal never gave up on finding out how and slowly but surely he started asking like a normal person

And Ambrosius never answered like a normal person

His answers would range from “A chef never reveals his secrets” (“that’s a magician love” “just zip it and eat your food”) to “I’m never telling you so suffer and finish this meal I lovingly cooked” (“is it still considered love if you knew I was gonna suffer?” “Yes” “…. Makes sense”)

[biceratops7]

Hmm, any one notice this?

So a while ago I wrote a meta about how Stede isn’t actually oblivious to his feelings towards Ed, but I was really thinking about it at work today and honestly… Ed kind of is.

I know the running joke of Stede effortlessly being the most objectively romantic human on planet earth by sheer accident is hilarious. But did you ever notice that when Stede is actually trying to be loving on purpose, Ed Doesn’t Get it?

We can assume Stede started the ritual of them eating breakfast together cause it’s his quarters, and the intimacy of that clearly went right over Ed’s head cause he let Jack invade it without a second thought. Like Ed, honey, did the implications of a man wanting to eat breakfast with you and only you every single day seriously never register to you??

Stede plans a whole day together “treasure hunting” when he wants Ed to stay. The whole “you wear fine things well” business was pure oblivion on Stede’s part, this is him flirting. And he’s trying so hilariously hard to make this ridiculous idea work, but Ed still doesn’t get the gist. Luckily Lucius I-need-a-fucking-raise- Spriggs is here to save the day and clue Ed in to what at least this particular situation means.

…Which makes the gears clearly turning in Ed’s head during this moment absolutely precious and hilarious. Now he knows what’s going on. He sees that Stede’s excited to spend time with him in particular just like Saint Augustine, I mean a bunch more people will be also there this time, but still! And I’m sorry but the brief look of pure “Ed Exe has stopped working” when apparently the first thing Stede could think of was swimming is criminally underrated.

And look at that fond little smile it turns into, Ed knows full well that man has some cute little swim costume squirreled away somewhere ready to go after pulling an entire safari outfit out of his ass last episode 😂

Ok ok enough teasing Ed, back to the point.

We know Ed’s love language is physical touch. Stede’s is less talked about but I firmly believe his is quality time. Just like Ed is touch starved, Stede is shown to desperately want someone to spend time with. But that’s not just the way he receives love, it’s how he gives love too.

His way of saying I love you is to say “That’s me.” He’s the one who breaks the lock on his own bathroom door. He’ll be the one to show up at Ed’s restaurant and look at all the little Knick knacks in his gift shop on a slow day. Stede wants to be the one who’s there, who makes sure Ed doesn’t have to cry by himself, or feel silly about something he loves and put a lot of work into. He doesn’t ever want someone so deeply precious to him feeling as unwanted and isolated as he did back in Barabados.

And Ed ends up missing so many of these intentional gestures. Which isn’t a BAD thing, I just love all the little intricacies of two people with completely different love languages somehow making it work anyway. I think that’s part of why the bathtub scene felt so profoundly intimate, because their love languages work seamlessly together and they end up emotionally on the same page.

[vidavalor]

Odegra and The Language of The Dark Priesthood of Ancient Mu

Let's decode Disco Tony's hilarious work presentation. On the known history of The Dark Priesthood of Ancient Mu under the cut.

Right, so, a few of you have requested word nerdery on the Odegra scene so here we go... For a refresher, here's the dialogue with the wordplay-significant bits that we'll look at bolded:

Crowley: So, thanks to three computer hacks, selected bribery, and me moving some markers across a field one night, the M25 London Orbital Motorway, which was supposed to look like this, will, when it opens in 1986, actually look like this [shows a terrible picture of, more or less, the same thing lol] and represent the dread sigil 'Odegra' in the language of The Dark Priesthood of Ancient Mu. 'Odegra' means 'Hail the Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds.' Can I hear a wahoo?

[Some of the demons have enough energy to half-boo; most just continue to sit there looking miserable. Of all of them, only Beez looks like they might be getting how bullshit this all is and, either way, they still have no idea what Crowley is actually saying and really couldn't care less.]

Crowley: Once it's built, the millions of motorists who grumble their way around it are going to be like water on a prayer wheel grinding out an endless fog of low-grade evil that will encircle the whole of London. [Hastur raises his hand with a question.] Yes, Duke Hastur?

Hastur: What's a computer?

---

A lot of the humor of the scene comes from the fact that, unlike the demons, we know that a word as short as 'Odegra' cannot possibly mean something as long as 'Hail The Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds'... and 'Odegra' isn't a word familiar to many of us in the first place, adding to the feeling that Crowley is b.s.-ing the demons. The scene ending with Hastur asking for a definition of 'computer'-- basically, the first word Crowley said in what we see of the presentation lol-- exists as the punchline to the presentation and the scene as a whole, showing us that Crowley is correct in believing that there is no one in the room who can really tell that he's playing them.

Still, we know that language is a big thing on Good Omens (and that's an understatement) and Crowley is saying something... so, can we use the rules of Ineffable Husbands Speak that we've been looking at to figure out what, exactly, Crowley might be saying? Seems we can and, as you'll see, when we do, it becomes apparent very quickly that this presentation to Hell about the highway that Crowley describes as a demonically evil masterpiece exhibiting reverence to Satan and all things satanic is actually about Aziraphale and their world together and Crowley is getting a kick out of watching that fly over the heads of his audience. Crowley definitely performed this presentation for Aziraphale at some point, though (maybe rehearsed it a la Aziraphale's magic show?). Aziraphale enjoyed it a great deal more than the demons of Hell did, since it was written to amuse him.

Odegra: Odegra, a word that doesn't exactly exist in this form... but that Crowley didn't entirely make up either. Professional midwife that he is, Crowley used rules of human language to birth it into existence from a pre-existing word. If odegra did exist (and, honestly, Crowley using it and it being in Good Omens means it now does exist in both his and our worlds), it would be derived from the only word like it that does exist-- the Polish odegrac. What's hilarious is that odegrac means... to get one over on someone (not kidding lol)... as well as: to put on a performance and to play act a role.

So, the word Crowley is claiming means something in an ancient human language that doesn't exist is actually a word he made up that is of a word that does exist... and that word means to fool someone, to put on a performance, and to act a part. That is both how Crowley performs "demonicness"-- with the Odegra scene itself a perfect example-- and also how Crowley and Aziraphale behave performatively together in public to fool Heaven and Hell and hide their relationship.

Additionally, performance and act are words that can be, on another level, sexually euphemistic, and Crowley and Aziraphale both use act in that way in the Chateauneuf-de-Pape scene of The Blitz, Part 2. It somehow gets even better, though, because hiding their relationship is not the only reason why they have a secret language. Another way Odegra can also be defined gets into that and that's when we take into account how their wordplay is big on the words contained within words-- something used not just in their language but in the show itself, beginning with, as we've looked at in other metas, its opening shot of the word 'war' within the word 'warning'.

Odegra contains ode and gra. An ode is a lyrical poem and a poem is wordplay. Odes are specifically written in tribute to someone or something. That is what they're doing when they use their secret birdsong and why they use it when alone in addition to in public; its born both out of the need to be able to speak to one another in a coded way when they might be overheard and out of flirtation and combines the two. One of the most famous odes in existence is Keats' "Ode to a Nightingale," which is also a word that we have seen that they use as shorthand for their language and for how they feel about each other.

As for the gra part of Odegra? It's a Polish word for game (as in, to play a game... like, say, a wordplay game.) But, also...

...gra is an Irish word for love.

Odegra, in Ineffable Husbands Speak, actually means secret love language.

Some demons torture and murder-- Crowley hijacks plans for Freeways of Love out of transportation-related innuendo amusement, remakes them into a soppy apple-heart-looking thing for his boyfriend, and passes them off as an evil work assignment, ok? 😂

The M25 in image forms "the dread (a subtle suggestion for the demons in there *snicker*) sigil Odegra in the language of The Dark Priesthood of Ancient Mu" aka Nightingale Speak/Odegra/Whatever They Actually Call It, if they call it anything at all... what we've been calling Ineffable Husbands Speak. For why Crowley is jokingly referring to their secret language in this way, let's start with Mu...

If, in the GO universe, dinosaurs basically don't exist and The Earth is only a little over 6,000 years old, it's doubtful that there's anything to the Lost Continent of Atlantis, sometimes referred to as Mu or Lemuria. Crowley would know, since he's been on Earth since The Beginning and, since he's trolling the demons with this presentation, he's likely pretending that Mu existed, knowing that the demons won't know the difference.

When referring to The Lost Continent idea, Mu comes from Lemuria, which is what the theorized continent was named because it derived as a way of trying to explain fossils of lemurs that were found in spots people didn't think fit with what they knew of history at the time. All of this was discredited scientifically prior to when Crowley is making the presentation but Lemuria is popular with occultists. It sounded satanic to reference it in the presentation, which is probably how Crowley arrived at using it-- but it seems he really did for the demonicness on the surface but for its other meaning on a hidden language level. Mu/Lemuria/Atlantis is not the only definition of Mu and it's really the other one that Crowley is referencing. The Ancient Mu to whom Crowley is really referring is him and Aziraphale-- extremely old beings with a fondness for the other Mu-- the Greek letter that became what we now call today the letter M.

Mu evolved from the ancient Egyptian hieroglyph meaning water and, then, the Phoenician word for water. Anything related to water/the sea/fish, etc.., as we've looked at before, is a sexual metaphor and related to orgasm in Ineffable Husbands Speak, rooted in Aziraphale using oysters euphemistically to ask Crowley to bed for the first time in ancient Rome. The ancient Greeks eventually turned Mu into the letter M, which Crowley and Aziraphale use often and with a lot of intentionality as a word that has existed in basically all languages since the beginning of time: mmm, the sound of human pleasure and satiation, as we looked at in the Crowley & Plosives meta. The Ancient Mu = Crowley and Aziraphale, who are really old, longtime sailors together on The Sea of Mmm.🐟

[An aside but M is also the name of James Bond's boss. Crowley is a big Bond fan and, we speculate, was likely an allied spy during WW2 so maybe there's something in here as well to add to the idea that Crowley influenced Bond a bit.]

Mu has had different pronunciations but the most common one is homophonic for moo, which is the sound of the milk-producing cow. I don't think further detail is really needed on that one...

Mu can also be pronounced at times like the French moue, which comes from an early meaning of lips and evolved into meaning someone pouting. Crowley busts out a moue a lot-- sometimes genuinely, sometimes in jest.

Finally, mu is the Greek root of the word for something Crowley and Aziraphale both enjoy (and both like to speak about euphemistically at times): music.

The Dark Priesthood bit is pure blasphemy. Crowley and Aziraphale are, technically, members of opposing religious orders. Aziraphale is an angel of God, which is more or less akin to a human priest, while Crowley is, technically, a dark priest/diabolical minister. Religious trauma and conflicts for days aside, they're both more pagans of the good times, as Irish God Hozier would call it, with a yen for equating the sexual with the spiritual in their wordplay.

In S2, we have a parallel to the Odegra scene and others like it with entries shown to us in a publication of Hell--'Demon's Guide to Angelic Beings Who Walk the Earth'-- in which Crowley and Aziraphale wrote each other spicy love letters in their language and published them under the noses of Heaven & Hell without anyone ever catching on. In those entries, they both refer to each other using different religious terms (guru, different ancient gods, a particularly 'hot priest' turn through the etymology of bishop...). There's also, of course, that priests in many religions take a vow of celibacy, which then makes it more amusing to refer to themselves as a priesthood in wordplay referring to themselves as lovers.

Etymologically, the word priest comes from the Greek presbyteros, which means elder/old/venerable so, like their use of ancient, it's also something of a play on how they are quite literally older than dirt and also that they've been a thing for awhile now.

In addition to signifying a group, a hood is also both clothing that shields one from the rain and what we call the canopy covering of a car.

Crowley is making it sound in his presentation to the demons that Odegra means something evil and demonic in an ancient language of satanic priests when, really, it's a word he made up for his and Aziraphale's spicy and romantic little language and they're not devil-worshippers but devout members of The Church of The Vavoom.

The Dark Priesthood... Dark is a fun word by their rules because it's a word they could probably say a lot in public since it sounds all demonic but we have seen that their language is built, in part, around words within other words and also uses a lot of French so Dark = Dark and D'Ark. It actually refers to The Ark or is Of The Ark, which we can take as a reference to the events of The Flood. Since The Flood is referenced in S2 in the Job minisode and keeps coming up in other places (and since we've seen precious little of it so far), it's potentially another hint that all that rain-sheltering canopy vavooming Crowley was going on about in S2 was he and Aziraphale during The Flood and that we might see that in S3.

It sounds like if one of them says dark, they're actually referencing-- at least, in part-- The Vavoom kiss. Like Crowley was, on one level of what he said, in 1941:

In the book, the Odegra stuff is the same but for the word dark-- it's The Black Priesthood of Ancient Mu instead. The word black is also in their wordplay in the show, though, and shows up in the same scene in 1941 as Crowley saying "shades of... dark grey." The word black contains the word lac, the substance secreted by an insect that is used as shellac. Lac is also the French word for lake. One of you asked me to word out The Blitz, Part 2's Chateauneuf-de-Pape scene so we can talk more about how Crowley uses black in that scene in that meta down the line. We're actually not yet done with Odegra, though, because...

Odegra also can be pronounced like "Eau de grah." Eau is French for water-- so, it would be "water of grah"/"grah water" when mixing French in. Grah is a fascinatingly Good Omens-y word... In German, it's a variant word for gray. In Slovenian? It means pea. (Frozen peas!) In Croatian? Beans and bean soup. Peas and beans are both seeds, which occur a lot in their speak and are going to be their own meta at some point, since quite a few of you want me to write about the 'Seeds of Destruction' scene in S1. In Hindi and Nepali, it means planet-- akin to world...

The especially damn one, though, is that, in Albanian, grah means *both* to rattle and to roar. Serpents rattle. Lions roar. Crowley is both. Rather hilariously, he even roared as a lion once while shapeshifted into a snake which.... isn't quite to what this wordplay would be referring lol... but it adds additional humor to that scene.

So you say, Crowley... Anyway, lastly, in Sanskrit, grah also means: to seize, to take, and to hold. Mmm...

Hail The Great Beast, Devourer of Worlds:

Hail: Besides hailing someone in the worshipful way Crowley suggests here, there's hail-- hard rain. Within hail: hai, a kind of keelboat and also the word for shark in several languages (Finnish and Estonian, among them) and ail, homophone: ale aka alcohol. You also used to (pre-Uber/Lyft, etc.)-- and can often still-- hail transportation, like a cab... an extra funny pun since it's used during Crowley's M25 presentation.

Great: The original meanings (some of which obviously still exist now) were big, massive, thick, and coarse. Rooted in ghreu, which meant to rub and to grind.

Great: Contains gre and eat. Gre, in Welsh, means all of these: a stud of horses, a flock and a herd. So, there's the horses, ducks, birds and other animals that show up in their speak and the show itself. In the Old French, gre meant pleasure and goodwill and, in Middle English, it meant kindness, understanding and satisfaction. It's also connected to the word gray in Old Scottish Gaelic. The eat bit is self-evident-- a nod to all the food used euphemistically in their speak (and the real food they do enjoy together as well.)

Crowley also uses great in summary of he and Aziraphale in S2 when he dryly tells Maggie how much he and Aziraphale talk-- but uses their language, which she obviously doesn't understand, to do so because, honestly, Maggie telling Crowley that he doesn't know how communicate in a relationship is about the same thing as it would be if Muriel sat him down and said he needed to listen to them when it comes to their superior knowledge of sexual innuendo. It's ridiculous. ("I say something brilliant and he says something unintentionally funny back. It's great." Rill = a stream; tent = canopy, etc..)

The Great Beast... Beast: Contains be, homophone: bee, and east. Bees, as we learned in S2, are angels. Aziraphale is Crowley's angel and The Angel of the Eastern Gate, whose desk is in the Eastern part of the compass bookshop, which is also the direction of the arrow being pointed by the bookshop's Cupid sculpture in S1. The Great Beast = Aziraphale.

"The beast with two backs" has also been euphemistic for sex since the 1500s and was immortalized by Shakespeare in Othello... and, by that, we mean was probably immortalized by Crowley in Othello lol... A beast has also long been a flirty thing to call someone who uses lewd and lascivious language.

GIF by aftermath-meme

Devourer of Worlds:

Devourer: We know what this is lol but just to fine print it here... Devour comes from the Latin devolare, meaning both to swallow down and to accept eagerly. Earliest forms contain the same meanings we have today for the word: to entirely consume; to eat ravenously.

By the early 1600s, devour evolved to also mean to take in hungrily with the eyes. I suppose here is where it might be funny to also point out that both ravenous and swallow are words that are also related to birds.

World: Often relates to the state of existence of human beings. Sometimes used in religious settings by humans to differentiate between the secular world and Earth versus Heaven and the world of the afterlife-- the "worldly affairs" of Earth. Can sometimes refer to the celestial-- "other worlds." The universe is another name for the world-- a system of created things, one started by Crowley and Aziraphale themselves. Also: homophonic for whirled: a swirling of something-- usually, of a mind or of water, like a whirlpool.

A world, though, can just be a person's own life and the people in it, and a romantic way of referring to your partner. You could, for instance, toast the world of the planet you just helped save and also be toasting one another-- your own, mutual, private world-- at the same time, as many of us suspect was the case here:

Crowley also says that the motorists, as they "grumble" along the highway will be "like water on a prayer wheel, grinding out an endless fog of low-grade evil that will encircle the whole of London." There is a bit of wordplay in here as well.

Grumble: Means to complain in a low voice but also originally had the additional meaning of the word within it that evolved into a separate word-- to rumble, as in to make a low, rumbling sound or murmur. While these hypothetical motorists are rumbling their way around The Freeway of Love, they're doing so like water on a prayer wheel.

Crowley knows that not a soul in the room knows what a Tibetan prayer wheel is or what it is meant to do. It just sounds like stuff the demons would think is an appropriately evil way to feel. The other part of the joke is that the term prayer wheel is actually misleading and a mistranslation of the Tibetan. Mantras, not prayers, are put on paper inside the wheel (which is cylindrical, not really even round-wheel-shaped, though it does go around) while a mantra or two is usually printed on the outside of the wheel. It's more about visualization than prayer-- which goes with how this flashback scene is tied to Crowley literally visualizing and willing himself and the burning Bentley through the M25 ring of fire.

It's the height of irony because the idea is that anytime someone turns a prayer wheel and focuses on the positive energy they are generating from doing so and thinking on or saying the mantras it contains, they're actually sending out positive energy to everyone around them. Crowley is giving a presentation in which he's claiming that these motorists on the M25 would be spreading negative energy because they'd be stuck in an exercise as pointless as spinning a prayer wheel when, in actuality, he's thinking about how the grumps in Hell could use some prayer wheels being spun in their direction.

On an euphemistic level, though, Crowley, is in his happy place being metaphorical water on a metaphorical prayer wheel. More sexuality-as-spirituality blasphemy at play with that and also a nod to how a lot of how he and Aziraphale are living is closer in line with Buddhist teachings than with other religions. S2 highlights that a bit, showing both Crowley and Aziraphale employing mudras (both inside and outside of performing miracles) and the lotus flower mandala rug they have on the floor to cover up The Heavenly Zoom of Discorporation, etc...

These motorists will be grinding out (does not need further explanation lol, other than to point out that you also grind seeds/pulses and coffee)...

...an endless fog (fog in a sense of headspace with relation to sex; etymology ties to damp, in a possible nod to the 597 AD scene; endless potentially hinting loosely at edging, which is in another 32 scenes more directly so not really a reach; also: endless, in the sense of viewing how they are and feel as eternal...)

...of low-grade evil (original definition of evil pertained to "sin" and still does-- "low-grade evil" would be akin to mild "sin"; grade repeats gra and also contains ade: as in, a drink made of fruit, like lemonade. Homophones: aid and aide-- so, care and support)...

....that will encircle the whole (both whole, as in: all of, and hole, as in: yeah, I'm pretty sure ya got this one...)...

...of London. London is wordplay, you ask? Oh, yes, seems to be. It's also in 'Demon's Guide...' as well, likely because...

London: contains lon and don. A don, among other things, is the formal Spanish title for a gentleman. Lon is an Irish word for blackbird and a Norwegian one for a gently-flowing creek. (Yes, they are that specific in the definition on the water movement.) The word London as a whole comes from the Proto-Celtic Londinjon, meaning: place that floods and, for a little ocean-themed destructive sexual metaphor fun, the Proto-Indo-European lendh, meaning: to sink.

So that endless fog of low-grade evil will be encircling the whole of London forevermore, thanks to Crowley's demonic design of the M25 orbital motorway. After all of that, it's clear to see why Crowley dryly thought that a wahoo (a positive yay! response but, also, a kind of fish... so, an orgasm) was in order. Some jolly good wordplay, that. Instead, at the end of Crowley's presentation, Hastur asks a question:

"What's a computer?"

In fairness to Hastur, while computers had existed for awhile by the 1970s, they weren't in everyone's houses yet and he didn't get up to Earth that often. (Good on him, actually, for even asking a question in the first place, when most of them didn't.) While the joke exists to highlight the fact that none of the demons got a single lick of what Crowley just said because Hastur's back with a question on what was only about the fourth word of many that Crowley said, there's also that it highlights that Hastur and the other demons lack the language ability to work out, through language comprehension and/or context, what a computer might be. They can't compute what a computer could be, basically.

Crowley and Aziraphale have been on Earth since the start and have been a part of the evolution of language. They understand how it's a living thing. They know the relationships between root words, which many of us also do just instinctively from living, speaking and reading and they do on a level of being walking, talking etymological dictionaries. The angels and demons technically speak all the languages of the world but, because they don't live in that world, they don't really understand language... and they are definitely miles away from Crowley and Aziraphale's capability of playing with it to the point of having created their own language out of the languages of the world.

Hastur's question is the meta joke of the scene and so we're going to finish up here by looking at it, too, even though it's not part of Crowley's wordplay. Ironically for Hastur, the word computer comes from the Latin putare which means, quite literally, to think, as well as to prune, in a way that means to filter and discern information. The 'com' part of it related to the Latin cum, meaning with and together.

What's funny about the question from a Crowley and Aziraphale's language speak perspective is that the reason why Aziraphale must have lost it laughing when Crowley told him what question Hastur asked is because their approach to the word would be to compute it by taking it apart and remaking it into also having a different layer of meaning within their language.

The first bit of com and its connection to cum and to come is something they already use all over the place, for obvious reasons. As for the rest of it... puter, depending on accent, can pronounced as puta, which is derogatory Spanish slang for a woman who has many sexual encounters and/or is a sex worker.

To compute to Crowley and Aziraphale would mean to think and discern, sure, but in Ineffable Husbands Speak, could be used to mean spending some quality time with a fellow seamstress.

So Hastur, who didn't understand much of anything in Crowley's presentation, asked for the everyday English definition of the one word in it that Crowley wasn't using in his sea of wordplay... but which, when used in Ineffable Husbands Speak, would ironically be defined as a short version of exactly what Crowley was on about for the entire presentation.

And this is probably why if you asked Aziraphale in Crowley's presence if he was ever going to get a new computer, he'd likely tell you he prefers to stick with his classic, first gen apple. It's the only one that's ever truly been great.

[hellisharchive]

Can I please request an Adam x Male Reader who way too innocent to the point they HATE sex and cussing(Never cuss in Reader's life) and the fact they squeek like a squeek toy if they get jumped scared

・﹒・ squeaky toy

Warnings: 18+, sexual remarks

Pairing: Adam x innocent!male!reader

Notes: Sorry this is so late and so short! I was struggling with how to write this 😅

Adam had always teased you, throwing sexual remarks your way and always making sure to scare you at any given moment. It always frustrated you and made you upset. But at the same time, you had these weird feelings for him that you couldn't decipher. It couldn't be a crush, it just couldn't! He was so rude to you, yet why did you miss him when he didn't antagonize you one day?

The day was strange- Adam wasn't in your corner at all today. You thought you would enjoy it, but it just felt off. You still tried to remain positive though, hanging with friends and laughing. They asked if you knew where Adam was since he usually would have been here around this time, but you answered honestly and had no idea. You also accidentally admitted that you missed him, which caused them to light up claiming you had a crush on him.

You of course denied it, but you couldn't help feel that they were right. Tomorrow quickly came and you hoped you would see him again, even if you would never admit it. He always tried to get you to swear and you refused every single time. This was Heaven! He may be able to swear but you never have even in your living life. The day was going by eerily quiet without him until the familiar yell startled you, causing you to jump up.

"HAHAHA I got you again Bitch! HA that was hilarious! You never fail to sound like a fucking squeaky toy! Missed me?" He walked out from behind you with his signature smirk as he looked at you. Swallowing, you thought of what to say as you calmed down from his scare.

"And what if I did?" That wasn't what you meant to say, immediately backtracking as you panicked, crap! You tried to save the situation, but it was useless. Your simple mistake had costed you your secret. Dang it!

"YOU missing ME? I thought you hated me! Was that a lie? Oh my God this is too good. You hearing this Lute?" Mr. Perfect over here missed me!" He doubled over laughing as Lute agreed, just staring at him laughing as he finally stood up, wiping tears away.

"I always knew you liked me Bitch. What? You gonna tell me you wanna get fucked by the original dick now?" Why did he say that? You panicked, immediately denying it. You hated sex so much, always hearing him talk about made you uncomfortable, yet you still missed his presence. He also tried to get you to swear before, but you refused.

"NO! NO! I DO NOT STOP!" You were thoroughly flustered to no ends as you put your hands over your face, just imagining doing it gave you the ick. Your hands were moved away as he smirked, he knew how to push your buttons.

"Hey, you meet me at my place tonight. I wanna take ya out" You stared at him wide eyed. Did he just ask you out on a date? You always thought he was only into girls anyways. Why did he ask you out? He was waiting for your answer, so you just stumbled as you said ok.

"That's what I thought, Bitch. Wear something nice" And he walked away, leaving you confused, flustered and anxious. Why did you agree? You friends immediately hounded you, concerned for how you were feeling. You just said you wished he didn't leave you alone again.

[kitkats-and-kittens]

So I know Damian having magic is something that’s more a fun little tease, that is occasionally a minor plot point. Like him using a rituals and stuff to trap villains.

But genuinely I think it would be hilarious if Damian ‘born and raised in a supernatural cult’ Al Ghul just pulled up in Gotham knowing magic.

His arrival was already chaotic as hell, now imagine him using obscure ass spells that have probably fallen out of existence since Ra’s or hell Mother Soul was around.

Even funnier still if it took the Batfam like an embarrassingly long time to figure it out. Like yes they are the greatest detectives on the planet, but they’re also oblivious as hell and Damian getting into various shenanigans trying to keep the magic thing hidden is absolutely hilarious to me.

Dick and Alfred would figure it out first, because they’re living one on one with the kid for about a year.

It was probably some big dramatic moment, where Dick was like dying and Damian who had spent a year with him at this point decided he’d sooner risk being kicked out rather than let his big brother die.

So he brings him back and it takes Dick a moment since he’s still processing the near death experience, but eventually he gets to sit down with Damian and talk about why he didn’t say something sooner. Which leads to a very hurt/comfort moment where he assures Damian he’ll always belong and other sentimental shit.

Stephanie’s next, mostly because she spends the most times with Damian outside of Dick and also cause I love their relationship.

They’re probably arguing over something incredibly stupid and petty that Damian is taking way too seriously and Steph is pushing just for the funnsies and in a moment of vindictive pettiness (and the memory of Mara doing something very similar to him when they were in the league) he just shoots a spell at her.

It isn’t anything harmful. Probably something that gives her a really bad hair day for the next week, but Stephanie is very much stunned. Damian too, because he didn’t really expect this to be the way he revealed the whole magic thing.

But it turns out Steph is just extremely excited. Henceforth Damian is recruited when she needs to get up to some shit or prank the rest of her siblings without their knowledge.

The team was scary before, but with Steph now having unsupervised access to magic and firmly reassuring Damian that when it comes to Bruce all bets are off, things get infinitely worse.

Tim comes after and honestly he’s a little annoyed it took him this long.

He’s suspected for ages, but between cases and hanging out with the his team he’s never been able to lay down the foundations of his research.

However after witnessing Damian perform a move not humanly possible while out on patrol his interest is once again peaked which leads him down a 3 day rabbit hole about the league and magic and a bunch of other bullshit that probably ends with him on the most wanted list in 31 states.

His investigation is brought to a head however when one day completely stumped for answers he just approaches Damian. Exhausted and burned out and is like “do you have magic”.

And Damian who hasn’t been actively hiding his abilities in about a year now is like. “Yes”.

At which point Tim nods, gives him a thumbs up, and proceeds to pass out.

Of course it takes Bruce the longest, because that man is constantly running on 3 hours sleep and several cups of red bull. Damian is now doing nothing to hide his abilities and with his fathers lack of a reaction it seems like everyone’s on board, however unbeknownst to him the rest of the batfam is trying to very gently nudge their father along to the realisation that his son can indeed use magic.

Dick goes on about how strange it is that Damian can just appear from the shadows and why do you suppose that is?

And Bruce nods proudly and is just like “he’s a very talented boy isn’t he”.

Steph pranks him, using very obviously supernatural means and when questioned just says Damian helped her, which Bruce takes as them both acquiring supernatural artefacts via dubious methods.

This leads to him and Damian having a sit down, during which both of them are experiencing two very different conversations as consequence of Bruce’s attempt to gentle parent his way through this. He tries to explain to his son that some things can be very dangerous if not handled with proper care and he doesn’t want him to get hurt and whoever was giving him such dangerous things should be made known and Damian is wondering why his father thinks he’s doing drugs.

Tim pulls out a whiteboard and a pen and gives him a 3 hours rant on why his son could possibly have magic and Bruce, equally as exhausted as his son, but still trying to listen and support his hobbies (however strange they are) just nods, like that’s nice honey.

It all comes to a head one random day when Damian just floats a coffee mug across the table. And Bruce kinda stares between it and his son blinking and his eyes very suddenly widen with realisation.

He later calls Talia asking why she didn’t tell him and also requesting some manuals on how to deal with a child and their weirdly ominous/sentient magical powers.

By the time Duke rolls around it’s common knowledge and he’s pretty happy to bond with Damian over weird superpower stuff. It’s also nice to train against someone who you can’t instantly obliterate via weird light manipulating techniques so that is very much appreciated.

And for anyone wondering Cass and Jason have both lived in the league and were well aware of the Al Ghuls magical practicing tendencies. Jason tutored under Talia for a little while in fact and they’ve both been placing bets on how long it would take the rest of their family to find out.

[tobiasdrake]

Something has always bothered me about the Planet Trade Organizations that Ive always just attributed to Shounen Bad Writing, and it's that if Frieza and his ilk are so stupid powerful that they can literally destroy planets and entire species at will, what possible use could they have for money? And WHO is buying them?? Is there something I missed by never reading the manga?

I've also never liked the Saiyan culture getting conflated with the PTO in the Namek arc, I think it cheapens the world building. But my head canon is that Saiyans were employed by Frieza for long long time, to the extent that the distinction became negligible before he realized he had become dependent on Saiyan labor. Kind of like German auxiliaries for ancient Rome

Nope, you're not missing much. That's something that's rarely been touched on. It's mentioned briefly when Raditz first explains the concept to Goku.

Frieza's customers are "other races looking for living space". What that means never got elaborated on.

The existence of the PTO implies a vast, interconnected galactic civilization and economy that we never get to see or touch on, just... out there offscreen somewhere. It's kind of disappointing that this was never built on in any way. In fact, the only time we see a planet post-gentrification, it's being used for Frieza Planet.

The blurb calls this "Frieza Planet #79" but dialogue always just refers to Frieza Planet or Planet Frieza as a singular location.

Vegeta, during his brief stay at 79, hints at a possible explanation for this discrepancy.

Upon finding out that Frieza's not presently on his planet, Vegeta immediately, with visible irritation, assumes he's off to go pick out a different world in a tone that suggests this is a regular behavior of Frieza's. This implies a habit of every now and then deciding "I like this one; I'm going to make this Planet Frieza from now on" and forcing all of his men to pack up and move.

But that's the most we get of any worldbuilding about the galactic society or economy surrounding the PTO. And even that much is extrapolation off of a single line where Vegeta gets grumpy that Frieza isn't home.

For their part, I think even Toei was confused on this point; The anime seemed uncertain sometimes about whether Frieza's supposed to be the CEO of the real estate industry or the buyer that all these planets are sold to. But by the time of DBS, that Frieza is a captain of industry seems to have been figured out by all involved parties.

Overall, though some kind of galactic society is indicated by Dragon Ball's worldbuilding, the series seems disinterested in exploring it to any real degree. After Goku defeated the Strongest in the Universe, the series washed its hands of space. And that happened on a disconnected backwater planet still recovering from apocalyptic drought.

Which is honestly hilarious if you think about it. Out of nowhere, Frieza dashed off to some backwood little hick planet in the middle of nowhere and then he and every last one of his elite special forces fucking died and then the planet exploded. And nobody knows why or what the hell happened down there.