#also don't just hug people having a panic attack without warning please that just makes it worse

[vampirtulpe]

How do you even draw hugs

Wanted to draw Kaiser, I feel so bad for him in his first fight. But then made myself sad, so I drew Joe trying to help him (he always gets a little emotional himself when Kaiser is in such a state

[logansdoll]

thank you

you never thought you'd be murdered in the middle of an alley... but you also never thought you'd be saved by a man with knives in his fists so... yeah.

CW: suggestive, profanity, the dude that attacks you is clinically insane, Logan's a little socially awkward, your power is kinda bad but kinda good, etc.

It was amazing how quick your day could go from fantastic, to an absolute, fucking shit storm.

Waking up that morning, as you went through your morning routine, something in the air just told you that everything was going to go right.

Your curls turned out perfect after your nightly twist, your makeup flawless, accentuating your natural beauty, and your breakfast sandwich tasted especially delicious.

That, along with the relatively quiet day at the hospital, left you leaving work with a certain pep in your step that made you feel like you could take on anything.

So not once did you plan to end up in the middle of a dark alleyway, and not once did you plan to stand off with a shady, seemingly dangerous, man because of it.

You were too lost in the music of your earphones to notice you had taken a wrong turn, a rookie mistake to make so late at night.

A mistake you were currently cursing yourself for.

"Look," you started, hands up and voice calm in an attempt to placate the irritated man. "I didn't mean to walk over here. I'm just trying to get home."

Slowly, he stalked closer, stance low and beady eyes staring at you in a way that made your stomach drop, and blood run cold.

'Shit.'

"Please... I don't want any trouble," you continued, taking a few steps back, "Just let me pass."

He tutted in response, wagging his finger as a sadistic grin slowly rose to his lips, "People who trespass on my territory gotta pay a toll, sweetheart," he licked his teeth, words slurring together, "and I can see you got more than enough..."

Shamelessly, his eyes dragged over your body, the surface of your skin erupting with a feel of grime and dirt.

You'd need a serious shower when you got home.

If you made it home...

As he drew closer, your hand discreetly slid into your jean jacket pocket, latching onto the cool, metal handle of your switchblade.

You were hoping to de-escalate the situation, but with the way things were looking, you knew you'd probably have to fight your way out.

"I'm only gonna ask one more time," you warned, your tone curt as your expression sharpened into a glare. "Let me go."

Without warning, he let out a manic shout, charging for you at full force.

You let out a shriek of surprise, quickly moving out the way before he could tackle you, whipping your blade out your pocket and flicking it open in one fluid motion.

Quickly, he turned around, expression furious as he ran again, hands out in an attempt to grab you.

And as you tried to dodge, he managed to latch onto the back of your scrub, roughly throwing you to the ground with a grunt.

"Fuck!" you spat, head throbbing as you attempted to sit up, your chest pounding as he grabbed your ankles and dragged you closer.

Fear struck your heart like a freight train, and in a bout of panic, you swung your knife, plunging it into the closest thing you could reach.

He let out a roar of pain, dropping your ankles as he nursed his injured foot, and the handle sticking out of it would've been funny were it not for the dire situation.

Quickly, you scrambled to your feet, stumbling towards your purse which laid on the ground not too far away.

But the man took notice, his foot becoming a thing of the past as he chased you again, scooping up a large shard of broken glass as he ran.

"Get away!" you cried, hugging your purse into your chest as his charge backed you into a corner, your legs giving out as you slid down the wall.

Horrible visions of your fate flashed through your mind as he approached, images of your lifeless body plastered on the nightly news, or your smiling picture on a missing persons poster.

What a fabulous time for your power to chime in...

You squeezed your eyes shut, bracing yourself for whatever was to come, when a loud shink and a pained grunt cut through the air.

Forcing your eyes back open, they landed on a figure, who stood over the dead body of your attacker.

The way the man laid, and the way he was injured, made it look as if he was mauled by some sort of animal.

'Holy shit...'

Pulling yourself back to reality, you realized the figure was now standing right in front of you.

He held his hand out for you to take, sharp, brown eyes flicking between you expectantly.

Finally having the chance to get a good look at him, you took in his appearance.

With his broad chest and strong jaw, you'd think he'd be on the cover of Sexy Bikers weekly, arms and legs thick with muscle under his leather jacket and blue jeans.

Your eyes met in an instant, an electric buzz shooting up your spine at his features.

From what you could see through the darkness, they were sharp, but strong and hard, handsome in their own rugged way.

His lips pulled taut in a line as he stared back, brows furrowing while his eyes flicked around you, almost like he was trying to gauge your reaction.

Slowly, you placed your hand in his allowing him to pull you up to your feet.

"Thank you," you exhaled, shoulders dropping as relief finally sank in your shoulders. "I don't know what I would've done if you didn't come when you did..."

His arms came back to his sides, tiredly, as he awkwardly cleared his throat.

As if he didn't expect you to actually talk to him...

"What're you doin' walkin' by yourself so late?" he asked, his voice a deep rumble. "You got a death wish?"

The sound ignited something in you, a sudden flood of warmth rushing to your stomach, your reply nearly dying in your throat.

"I just got off from work... I wasn't paying attention and turned the wrong corner," you explained, choppily, the embarrassment of your mistake setting in.

It was a stupid one.

Especially for someone who's mutation gave her the ability to see the future.

Or variations of it, at least.

"You got a way to get home?" he asked, resting a hand on his hips.

His arms flexed with the motion, his bicep straining against the jacket sleeve, your eyes drawn to it almost instantly.

You'd never seen a man as handsome as him before, and while you felt bad for gawking, you were more concerned by the flurry of feelings swirling in your chest.

"Cab," you blurted, snapping yourself out of it, "I can hail a cab."

He nodded, smoothly and, to your surprise, silently, stepping to the side and out of your way.

You were ready to head back toward the street, when you suddenly remembered something.

"My purse—" Jittery, the man nervously shoved it into your arms, averting his eyes from your thankful expression.

Your gorgeous, thankful expression.

God, he didn't understand what such a beautiful woman like you was doing in a place like this.

"I found it on the ground over there," he cleared his throat once again, shifting his weight on his feet, "I put your knife back in, too. You might wanna wash it—"

Without warning, you pulled him into a hug, nearly sending his heart into a frenzy.

He kept his hands up, quite confused and unsure of what to do, especially since your impossibly soft cheek was pressed against his chest.

"Thank you... really," you smiled, warmly, as you looked up at him.

God, he was handsome.

Though, you pushed that thought to the back of your mind.

"It was nothin'," he assured, awkwardly, as you backed out.

"I don't suppose I could learn your name, could I?" you asked, a small smile rising to your lips at his social graces.

It was adorable.

Someone so big and strong being so nervous.

Instantly, he tensed, completely taken aback by your bold comment.

Maybe he was imagining things, but he could've sworn your tone made it sound like you were flirting with—

"Logan," he blurted, stiffly.

You grinned, tucking a stray hair behind your ear, "(y/n)."

Slowly, you started toward the mouth of the alleyway, his eyes following you intently, "Well, Logan, I hope we meet again... Then I'll pay you back."

"Not necessary," he assured, shaking his head.

You paused your walk for a moment, turning to glance at him with a devilish glint in your eye.

"We meet again... I'll have something for you," you promised, crossing your fingers.

A shiver rolled down his spine at your words, and you continued on your merry way, exiting the alley and hailing a nearby cab.

Once he was sure you were gone, he let out a loud sigh, allowing his shoulders to sink and a tired hand to run through his hair.

You were something...

One conversation and he already knew you were going to be trouble, the smell of your perfume and the warmth of your smile already plaguing his mind.

He shook his head, taking a deep breath before turning to walk out the alley.

But just as he stepped forward, he felt something under his foot, lifting it to reveal a necklace.

You must've lost it in the melee...

Carefully, he picked it up off the ground, placing it in his pocket before walking out the backstreet.

The next time he saw you... he'd have something for you, too.

[thezombieprostitute]

Tech Tuesday: Ransom Drysdale

Summary: New Years Day starts with you realizing you fell asleep on top of Ransom.

Warnings: Angst, Miscommunication, Panic attack. Please let me know if I missed any.

Previous

You're slow to wake up. Your bed is way less comfy than usual. You try to reach for a blanket or pillow. Your hand finds something soft, maybe your afghan blanket, but when you pull, it doesn't move much.

That's when you hear the gentle snoring, making your eyes shoot open. It registers that you've been pulling on Ransom's sweater as he was laying under you.

That can't be comfortable, you think.

Gently you start trying to get off of him without waking him up but you're stopped when, with a sleepy grumble, Ransom wraps his arms around you and squeezes you tight. it feels nice and you're still sleepy enough your brain can't fight the urge to lean into it. As much as you've enjoyed when Ransom lets you hug him, being on the receiving end feels even better.

Wait! No! Ransom doesn't like touch!, you reprimand yourself.

Not wanting to continue taking advantage of his sleepy state you start struggling to escape his grasp. He wakes up and panics at seeing you in his arms. He pushes you off of him and you land on the floor, thankfully on your back.

"I'm so sorry," you quickly move away from the couch. "I didn't mean to fall asleep on you. I know you don't like to be touched."

"What?" Ransom gasps. "I...I'm..." Ransom practically runs to his bathroom and slams the door shut. He's mortified. No, he's scared. He was soft, vulnerable just now. And last night, he thinks, as the memories return.

He looks at his reflection and his breathing goes ragged. He spent so much of his life being a privileged asshole. Now he's hugging people. Being friendly. The old him would've relished taking your first kiss for himself and maybe pushed even further. Instead he talked you down to just doing a toast. And then that got interrupted by---

"Ransom?" your voice squeaked through the door. "I...are you...I'm sorry. I didn't...Are you going to be okay?"

He splashes water on his face, his breathing still hasn't slowed. He wants to respond, tell you something, anything but he can't get his brain to work. Someone found him. All he can do is go over the snipes, the criticisms, the fake concern, the toxicity he knows he'll get when his family pulls him back into their clutches.

He sits on the floor, face in his hands. He can't do it. He refuses to go back to them. He won't let them hurt him again! He was proud of himself for surviving on his own. He was learning what real happiness was. What friendship really could be. He doesn't want to be the cold, ruthless asshole he used to be.

But was he really better off like this? One person he doesn't know calls him "Hugh" and suddenly he's a pitiful mess. He's never felt so weak. At least with his family he knew how to survive. This situation is too new. He can't...he doesn't know how to keep going. A sob escapes him.

"Ransom?" your voice is more urgent at the sound. "Ransom? Please talk to me? Open the door? Something?"

He can't. He can't let you see him like this. All of his instincts are telling him that only pain will come from being seen like this. Tears start pouring and he can't stop them. He can't catch his breath. He wants to call out for help, ask you to hold him, but his brain knows that if he does that you'll only hurt him.

"Ransom?" you sound like you're on the verge of a panic attack. "Ransom I'm not going to open the door, but I'm also not leaving until I know you're okay."

He sobs again. Why can't you leave him alone to be miserable in peace? Why do you insist on being there for him? He's pathetic. He can't even have a simple encounter without flying off into a panic! He knows you're just going to make fun of him. Maybe that's why you're still here. It's not that you care, it's that you need to be better than someone!

"Leave me alone," he sputters between breaths.

His words cut deep and you sniffle. You know he doesn't like being touched but you threw yourself on top of him last night! You even reached under his sweater to warm your hands! Sure he'd commented you could if you just got into the cab but still, that wasn't proper consent, was it?

"I'm so sorry, Ransom," you gulp. "I shouldn't have had so much to drink. I should have been in better control of myself. I didn't...I didn't mean to upset you. Even drunk me should know to respect your personal space."

"That's not what upset me!" he yells through the door, startling you. You've never heard him so angry.

"I'm sorry I brought that guy over the table," you mumble just loud enough for him to hear. "I was just trying to help you make some new friends."

"Because you enjoy seeing me flounder? Because you thrive on watching me make an idiot of myself? Because you need to prove you're better than me?!"

His words pierce your heart and the tears flow even more. You want to run away and hide like you used to but you can't. You can't leave Ransom in this state. You remember being there. Believing the worst in people. You know how lonely it is.

"Because I was drunk and thought you'd like more friends than just me," you explain. "You've made so much progress and I know I'm not your favorite kind of person. Nick looked on the richer side, like he had good taste or something. He looked like someone you could talk to that wouldn't annoy you with his...his bubbly personality."

Ransom goes quiet as he tries to process your words. He tries to think up something to say but all he can blurt out is, "what?"

Between sniffles you explain, "you're always so well dressed, so clean and tidy, so put together. I know the only reason you hang out with me is because you don't have experience making friends. I knew, going into this friendship, that you wouldn't want me around for long once you got some friends you could actually relate to. Friends to talk to about expensive cars, fine wines, stuff like that."

Ransom's breathing slows down as he continues listening to your voice.

"I know I'm a silly kind of person," you continue. "I see your eyes roll because of me. I hear your exasperated sighs. I know you're only friends with me because you need someone to be. I thought Nick might be that better friend for you."

"You want to get rid of me?" Ransom whines.

"No!" you're quick to assert. "I just know that you find me annoying. Friends shouldn't annoy friends every time they talk. Like I annoy you."

"I don't..." Ransom stops himself. He does roll his eyes at you a lot, but he thought you saw it as part of his being playful with you. Was this part of your own baggage? Do you believe yourself to be annoying as much as he believes himself to be a cold-hearted bastard? "You're not annoying," he finally says. There's so much more he wants to say, but his brain isn't working right.

"I'm still sorry I brought him over to the table," you mutter. "We were doing so good, having so much fun and I ruined it."

Ransom's breathing picks up again at the reminder of being called "Hugh". At the warning that his family was still looking for him, and had succeeded.

"It's not your fault," he chokes out. "He was an asshole seeking to ruin our night." He takes a few moments to regulate his breathing before he continues. "He knew who I was, he didn't need to get any closer. He chose to. He took advantage of you. It's not your fault."

"I trust you, Ransom."

Those four words spark more tears from Ransom because he knows you mean them. No one's ever told him anything like that before. He never knew how much responsibility came with not being a toxic asshole and he's not sure he'll ever be cut out for it.

"You deserve a better friend," he sighs. "Someone who's better at...communicating."

He hears you scoff. "Ransom, you know languages other than English, right?"

"Kinda," he replies, confusion lacing his tone.

"Were you fluent in any of them when you first started?"

"Of course not. It takes practice."

"So do things like this. And even then...even then you can still have times where your brain jumbles the languages and nothing comes out. Or where you can't think of the word and you default to your native language." You hear some sniffles from Ransom's side of the door. "It takes practice and being around others who speak the language. But eventually you get it."

There's silence for a few minutes and you worry you've overshared. But the you hear him.

"Can you get me the Sweater Pusheen?"

"On it!"

You rush to the living/dining area and grab the stuffed animal. Outside the bathroom, you gently knock on the door and it opens just enough for you to pass the plushie to him. Respecting that you haven't been invited in, you close the door for him and sit back down.

Ransom squeezes the Pusheen like a lifeline. He's learned that it helps his breathing, helps him calm down. He even started keeping it in his car for rough days at work. But while it is helping, he's realizing it's not enough. No. That was when he was hugging on you before he was fully awake. That was whenever you hugged him, allowing him to hug you back. The plushie is helpful, but it's no substitute for the real thing.

He lets out a frustrated sigh. "Hey, are you still there?"

"Yes."

"Can I hug you?"

"Of course!"

Next

Tech Tuesdays Masterlist

Tagging: @alicedopey; @delicatebarness; @ellethespaceunicorn; @icefrozendeadlyqueen; @jaqui-has-a-conspiracy-theory; @late-to-the-party-81; @lokislady82; @ozwriterchick; @ronearoundblindly; @lokislady82; @thiquefunlover63

[maruiin]

description: everyone knew that Y/n was Kaz girl

Warning: jealous Kaz

It was funny because any possible 'suitors' for Y/n magically disappeared but no one said anything. Of course, they didn't, if they wanted to keep their lives then they wouldn't dare.

That was fine, everyone just kept to themselves and prayed to the saints that they weren't a possible threat to Dirtyhands. What frustrated the Crows is that neither Y/n nor Kaz would admit their feelings towards each other.

The Crows (for once) were all down in the crow club not planing one of their evil heists that usually mess up the world, today they were just relaxing.

Well, maybe not Kaz. Kaz never really fully relaxed, at least not with so many people around.

He saw Y/n laugh with Inej and Nina and he couldn't help the way his eyes travelled down her body or the way that he wanted to keep hearing that laugh on repeat for the rest of his life.

He also couldn't help the fact that he wanted to be the one to make her laugh like that.

Kaz sighed internally, even he knew, the bastard of the fucking barrel is head over heels for Y/n L/n. The girl who would make him dance in the rain with her, the girl who he would gladly kiss if it wasn't for his touch aversion.

She perched her head up a bit and scanned the crowd seemingly looking for something.

Or someone.

Kaz felt something boiling bubble up in his gut but he couldn't quite put his finger on it. Why would Y/n be looking for someone? It better not be for a date...

Okay, maybe he did know what he was feeling at the moment because he felt it almost every day when another person was around Y/n that wasn't him.

And fuck, he knew it was because he was no good. She deserved so much more than someone who couldn't even brush his hand up against someone without getting near to a panic attack. But he couldn't, he really couldn't get out of the mood he was in now till the situation was over. Trust him he tried.

A man who was fairly good-looking comes up behind Y/n and tackle's her into a hug. He nearly goes up to stand but she starts laughing and embracing the boy like they haven't seen each other in years.

He grips onto his cane harder than he ever has in his life. Don't make a scene, don't make a scene. Please, don't make a scene.

Y/n giggles and kiss's the boy on his cheek and all his self will goes out and dies in the harbour.

He shoots up out of his seat and walks faster to Y/n and the terrible man than he should with his bad leg and slams his cane in between the two. He glares his worst glare basically seeing red when he looks at the man and all of him wants to bash his head in as an example to everyone. His mind doesn't even think it's a bad plan but he knows Y/n would not like whoever this was to die like that so he would have to somehow come up with another plan.

"If you dare look at her again you won't ever see again," Kaz says lowly and icily calm contrasting to what he's really feeling inside. Red hot rage burst's inside him becoming an ugly green that grows and infects him.

"Kaz!" Y/n semi-yells trying not to make a scene, but he was sure eyes were already on him. He was Dirtyhands after all.

He turns to her sharply knowing his expression isn't one that even a spider would want to see but it sits on his face all the same.

"What." He growls out trying so hard to not snap at the angel before him.

Without thinking his gloved hand goes to lightly touch her neck and he doesn't feel nausea and sickness. He only feels the warmth of the girl that he loves even with the gloves on. Fuck he loves her, and he had to admit it to himself right now?

She visibly shivers at his touch like she enjoyed it but her face quickly turns back to the angry one that she was wearing before.

"He's my brother!"

Now that he thinks about it he did look similar to Y/n, and the context of everything looked more sibling-like more than anything. How the hell did he not see it? He groaned on the inside, he was never doing anything without thinking it through first again. He guessed that plan was shit though because he could barely think around Y/n.

Speaking of Y/n...

The young woman growl and he feels his eyebrows raise. Oh shit. She balls her hands into fits and stomps off. He tries not to run after her but because of his leg,he can't go nearly as fast as she can and he quickly falls behind.

"Y/n!"

He gets to her room and she slams the door in his face.

Great.

He picks the lock of the door for a few minutes as he curses himself for letting her use one of the harder locks to get into. But after just under a minute he hears the familiar click and he slides open the door.

Luckily the girl is in her room and he's happy that she didn't run off right away. Though her arms are crossed around her chest and even someone standing two buildings away could tell this girl was pissed beyond hell.

"What the fuck were you thinking?" She says lowly trying not to yell at him.

He wasn't thinking, all he could see were his arms around her and her lips on his cheek. Kaz was surprised he managed a sentence when he decided to make a 'scene'

"I haven't seen him in years! Kaz, years! All I wanted was a happy reunion but you had to screw that up too!" She throws her hands in the air in exasperation.

Kaz knew that she wasn't planning on staying in Ketterdam at first and he didn't even know why she did stay, but his friends (or the closest people he could call friends) told him it was because of him. Brushing off that topic before was easy, but now look where it got them.

"I wasn't thinking." He finally finds the right words and breaks the silence that was washing over them both.

Don't screw this up Brekker.

"I didn't think he was your brother."

"So what? I was just another investment you had to protect because you thought I was stupid." It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He swallowed trying to find the right words. But he couldn't, there were just no words how he could describe how he feels for her.

So show her dumbass.

Slowly taking off his gloves he place's a hand on her cheek. It's feather-light and barely there, but he doesn't feel the cold or the waves and he doesn't feel like he's drowning. Her skin feels warm and it makes him feel alive, he hasn't felt like that in what seems like forever.

"Oh." Is the only thing that comes out of her mouth and she smiles a bit?

He rolls his eyes at her and takes his hand away. "Ya, oh." He rasps.

Y/n reaches out and carefully takes his left hand in hers and slowly but surely they intertwine their hands together.

Her smile slowly fades away as she looks at their hands.

"What are we?" The question hangs in the air creating more space in between them than ever before. Kaz close's his eyes for a second and lets that hungry feeling wash over him. The feeling of jealousy and the feeling of possessiveness when he thought she was with another man.

But then he lets the little moments warp him in their warm embrace. The moments when she offhandedly mentioned that what her favourite flower was, so then those flowers would just appear in her room. Or when she saved him and he couldn't think of any moment where she looked more beautiful, more saint-like, more like herself than ever. He sucks in those moments never letting them go.

"You are mine." His other hand goes to her neck again. "And I am yours." He lets his eyes rake her body committing every single little detail to memory and he sees her blush faintly a bit as he drinks her in.

They stand there in silence just enjoying each other's presence till Y/n looks un at looked more beautiful, more saint-like, more like herself than ever. He sucks in those moments never letting them go.

"You are mine." His other hand goes to her neck again. "And I am yours." He lets his eyes rake her body committing every single little detail to memory and he sees her blush faintly a bit as he drinks her in.

They stand there in silence just enjoying each other's presence till Y/n looks up at him an oh shit look in her eyes.

"How the hell are we going to explain this to my brother!?"

[dirtylittlefairytales]

Don't play with fire | - Part 2 - |

Autors Note: I recommend to read Part 1 first. This is going to be a rollercoaster, but I hope you like it. I liked writing it and I'm really happy I started writing again. Now I try writing smut too. If you like the song 'Unholy from Sam Smith' listening to it later on, made the scene better. At least I listened to it while I wrote the scene.

Also as before, english is not my first language, I hope I corrected most mistakes.

Summary: After having a panic attack and realizing that Cooper could be the Butcher., you tried living your life normally again, until you got a text from an unknown number. Should you go to the police? Half a year later everything is normal again, at least you think it is.

-> Writing in 'italic' is supposed to be the your thoughts

Warnings: Dark!Fic, Describing of a Panic attack, Age Gap! (Legal), Swearing! Praise! Alcohol consumption!, drugs!, bit of Smut, Angst!, Arguing

Rating: R

Word count: 7,4k

Tagging: @a-movie-that-youve-never-seen, @amethystblackkchaos, @hereforthehitsbaby, @waywardtigersandwich

That was your first panic attack you had in your life. You spend that day at the hospital, your mom picking you up in the evening. She didn’t pry for information, although she was very worried. When you got back to her house and sat in the living room over a hot tea, you told her everything– Though more like everything she could know.

You told her about the concert, how you weren’t feeling well because of the crowd of people. So you went home early, then your bike got stolen and your boss fired you after some nasty words. You said you didn’t know how you ended up at the hospital, you were just aimlessly walking and then woke up in the hospital. Remembering a lot of concerned voices around you but nothing more. 

Seeing that you were near tears again your mom started to hug you for several minutes. You let it all out. All those bottle up emotions of the day. You just didn’t know what to do with all these emotions. It was too much, like you weren’t in control anymore.

“You know sweety, you should move closer again. Ah no disagreeing! Think about it. You know my grandparents also had their apartment. Please consider it, I worry about you.” she said, squeezing your shoulders. “You could save so much money!”

“Okay mom. I promise I’ll think about it, but not today. Let me find a new job first.” you tried avoiding the situation. She nodded

“Well, come one you can sleep in your old room today. Tomorrow I'll drive you to the mechanic so you can get your car back.”

“Thanks mom.”, she kissed the top of your head and pushed you towards the stairs. Shaking your head, you went up towards your old room. You could barely say no to anything, when it came to your mom. However, moving back was the one thing you didn’t want. It was stupid. You wanted to live independent and not in your moms apartment, where she probably wouldn’t even allow you to pay rent.

Stepping inside your room, everything looked as you last remembered it. Your mom tried to make it look like your old room. The big double bed near the window, with the one teddy bear on it. A small wooden closet near the wall. You closed the curtains on the window and went to bed. 

On the bathroom mirror you could see a bruise starting to form on your shoulder, where Cooper had gripped it. Clearly you couldn’t wear something without sleeves the next few weeks. 

Before going to sleep you checked your phone. You nearly forgot about it. There was nothing. No new contact, no number saved anywhere, everything was the same. You remember it clearly, he told you he had saved his number, but nothing. You checked your phone completely. Looked through everything, photos, deleted messages, deleted contacts. Still nothing.

‘Had he just been toying with you? Playing into your anxiety?’ After checking your phone for a second time you gave up. Maybe you imagined it, maybe you should just call it a day. As soon as you put your phone down and your head hit your pillow you were out. The events of that day were finally catching up with you. 

Waking up the next day, you still felt exhausted but overall better. True to her word, your mom drove you to the mechanic, and reminded you to visit her once a week like you promised her on her last birthday. No more work excuses. 

You promised, she was getting older and you did want to spend more time with her. She turned 59 this year. You loved her, she always did her best. Recently your grandfather passed away, leaving everything to your mom. Your grandparents had an estranged relationship with your mom, but seeing as she was their only child… she inherited it all. Now your mom could live without worries. She had a house and had a spare apartment. Seeing as they did have a bit of money.

Over the next week you wrote more job applications and went to a couple of interviews. Until you finally found yourself a new job. The company and boss seemed nice and you even got to work from home 10 days a month. Big plus and the pay was decent. You stayed in your apartment most of the time after the concert, fearing you might run into Cooper somewhere. You were quite paranoid. Fearing what he would do to you. Were you going to be next, if he was the Butcher? 

With the new job, came new energy and you started to live again. Step by step you were going outside, to the office, meeting your friends or going out for drinks. Still sometimes, you looked around you. Feeling like someone was staring holes in your back.

The second panic attack came when on a day you were working from home. A few weeks had passed and overall it started like a totally normal day, just a few calls. Not much work to do that day and around lunch time you still wore your pajamas. When you went into the kitchen to cook, you suddenly got a text message from an unknown number. First you thought it was someone from work. Though, the number didn’t seem familiar, so maybe it was a customer? However, none had your private number. You opened the message and instantly knew who sent that text.

–You should watch the news. Unfortunately I must tell you that Spencer didn't seem to be very grateful. Sorry to disappoint you sweetheart. –

You dropped your phone, heart pounding in your chest. ‘Sweetheart– Was that Cooper? So he did have your number… Why should you watch the news?’ Slowly you crept down, picking up your phone from the floor and almost dropping it again. Your hands trembled so much. 

After releasing a shuddering breath, you put your phone in your pocket and stepped towards your living room. One step at time, fearing you might fall if you walked too fast. Holding on to your sofa for dear life, you reached for the remote. 

Turning on the TV, unsure of what you would find, you switched programs until you found the news channel. Your hands still trembling, you took deep breaths trying to calm yourself.

‘Maybe you should sit down?’ – Letting yourself fall onto the sofa you turned up the volume. You saw a lot of police in the background then view switched to the reporter, who started speaking

“Yesterday in the early hours, two hikers found something horrible on their daily hiking trail. We waited for further information from the police and we can now announce that the Butcher has found yet another victim. This marks the 13th victim of the Butcher.”

Your knuckles around the remote turned white from anticipation, your fingernails digging in your own palm. ‘Maybe you should stop with the acrylic nails’ You held your breath. They showed a photo of a young man on the screen. It wasn’t someone you knew.

“The victim seems to be a young man named Spencer–” Spencer.. That was the name he told you that day. You didn’t even listen to the rest of the news. Completely blending everything out, thoughts racing in your head. A sob escaped you, your whole body shook uncontrollably. Gasping for air, crying, you had your second panic attack. It felt even stronger then the first one, but maybe it was only because you were more aware now. 

A part of you felt like you killed Spencer. You had thought he was just playing with your fear. It was your fault. ‘What have you done… you were right all along. Your sixth sense didn’t leave you. Why haven't you gone to the police? Were you an accomplice now? Why haven’t you told somebody? You could have saved him…’ The answer was simple. You hadn’t been 100% sure. Hell until now you thought you imagined most of his weird behavior, were overthinking it, writing it off as anxiety.

Helplessly you wandered around towards your kitchen in the search for a bag. When you finally found one, you sank down against your cupboard. Taking deep breaths with the plastic bag to calm your breathing. After calming down and just sitting silently in your kitchen for 20 minutes, you got up and shut down the TV.

‘You couldn’t go to the police, could you? What if they held you responsible for it because you didn’t say anything until now. You didn’t even know his last name or where he lived.’ 

A dry and humorless laugh escaped you. Putting your face in your hand, trying to come to terms with reality. Finally you pushed your hair back and grabbed your phone.

Pondering if you should write back? Try to get information from him and go to the police? Could you get burned even more? Thinking for another minute you decided against it. Panic and anxiety controlled your actions. Your course of action was going in the complete opposite direction. Simply deleting the message. Deleting the evidence, deleting a small part of your guilt– ‘out of sight out of mind’

You didn’t continue work that day, called in sick, went to bed and just stared aimlessly at the ceiling. Thinking about everything. About the concert, about every small detail you remembered. All the strange things you thought he did, but in the end you thought it was just your imagination. 

This was so fucked up, why were you still alive and not locked up in some basement? Why were you still alive? He knew that you knew. By sending you that text, it almost seemed like he wanted you to know. It hardly made any sense to you. After hours and hours of thinking and getting a headache from it, you fell asleep rather exhausted.

Not even a day after you even changed your number, telling your friends and mom another lie. The excuse, you got too many spam calls on it, seemed to be good enough. You were that anxious that you were one step away from moving back into your mom's house. However you didn't want to exaggerate.

Everything you did, to feel secure didn’t help. The anxiety remained. Whenever you went outside you felt like a scared mouse, always looking around, getting in your car and inside the office building as quickly as possible. At first you looked for a black van, then you remembered that stupid little you had the great idea to reveal to him what the profiler said. Of course he was not driving that van anymore. Perhaps now he drove around in a girly pink car.

‘How could you have been so stupid?’, you wanted to bang your head against the table. You even judged Lady Raven for her naivety and here you were telling the Butcher what car to not drive. What to look out for. You helped him even further, by not going to the police. He must have been laughing at you in his head. What a fucking joke. He also must have realized what effect he had on you, using that for his advantage. That for one you found him attractive, on the other hand you were intimidated by him. You were glad you were still alive, but it also made you nervous.

A month later and nothing new from the Butcher and no strange occurrences you finally started to relax again. Cooper and all that happened was slowly being pushed to the back of your head. 

Furthermore, you moved out of your apartment. You felt spooked and unsafe in it. Living near your mom again gave you a small aspect of security back. Fortunately your workplace had a second office 20 min from your mom's apartment. You rented some transporter and with the help of your friends you moved your stuff into your new apartment within a day. Moving out helped your anxiety a lot.

Another month later, you started to go out with your friends again, didn’t look around every time you left your apartment and became more yourself. Feeling confident. You were slowly going after your hobbies again. Running outside, Swimming, visiting your favorite coffee shop or reading in the park on a good day. All without turning around every few seconds. 

Before you knew it about half a year had passed and it all was a mere memory. You hadn’t had another panic attack in months. Your job was great, you met your friends a lot, also visited your mom every week and you could even listen to music with noise canceling headphones again. It felt normal. Back to how it was before. There was no news from the Butcher. No new Butcher victims, just some mom in a horrible car crash, but aside from that there was just the usual news. 

It was around January, a Saturday, your birthday to be exact, where it began to get strange again. Even though it started out as every other birthday since you were 21. First brunch with your mum, having some good quality time in your favorite restaurant. After that, you went home again and around the evening your friends should arrive to go out. You should be around 10 people later. Normally you would just celebrate at home, but your best friend Simon wanted to party. Who were you to deny his wishes?

You had been Besties for ages, growing up with the same situation of a cheating parent, pushed you even closer together. It was only after high school where you went in different directions. Simon wanted to study, whereas you started working. There he met his better half Sebastian, they’ve been together ever since and when the three of you did something together they treated you like their child. Which you found hilarious. You loved them.

So a couple of friends were coming over and around midnight you would go dancing. When you arrived back at your apartment you noticed something strange. There was a small gift in front of your door. You looked around if you saw any of your neighbors before picking it up and unlocking your door. 

It didn’t seem to have a name anywhere. ’Strange. Maybe it was from that elderly woman on the first floor?’, you wondered. You put it on your kitchen counter, saving it for later. Seeing as you had only a couple of hours left to clean and dress up. Also you needed your makeup done before simon came, or he would go way overboard with his ideas. You already agreed to let him do your hair and change your outfit, if it was “too boring”. 

That was another reason he wanted you to go out. Maybe you would finally find prince charming and you could go on cute double dates.  In his opinion, your ‘no dating’ phase had been going on too long. Looking at yourself in the mirror you felt good. You decided to go with some short black pants, and a glittery black top with an open back. 

By the time the others arrived you totally forgot about the present still laying wrapped on the kitchen counter. Friend after friend arrived, all of them overly punctual. Except for two individuals, as always. You didn’t mind, it was only Lucas, a friend of Sebastian, with his girlfriend Mary. You didn’t particularly like her, Mary needed to be in the spotlight, sometimes you felt like she tried to replace you in your friend group. None of the others saw this most of the time though. She was ‘little miss perfect’. Well, except for Simon and Lizzy, they did see her other side sometimes.  

Putting on some music after everybody sat down in the living room, you went back to the kitchen to help Simon with the last drinks. As Simon was putting away the cake he brought on the kitchen counter he saw the small present laying around. “Who is this from?”

You walked towards him to see what he ment. “Oh, I actually don’t know. I think one of my neighbors left it for me.” shrugging you picked it up.

“Do you know what's inside?”, You shook your head, now you’ve done it. Simon loved a good mystery, something to solve, something thrilling.

“Well then, open it! I’ll get the rest of the drinks.”, he ushered you towards the living room where the others sat around your coffee table. Climbing over the back rest of your couch, you made yourself comfortable in the corner. Simon brought your drinks while you started to open the present. “What is it?”

“It’s…” you frowned. Pulling out a simple small teddy bear, with something silver on top. It was made out of plastic, nothing overly special. It was a Keychain.

“I think that’s something I could put on my keychain? Wait there's more…” There was something shiny at the bottom of the present. 

“A bracelet– Oh, it’s really pretty.” You held it towards the light, it sparkled brightly. It was a simple silver bracelet, with a little charm in the center. A cute colorful flower. 

“Aww how cute. But it seems like it was more for a child? Are you sure your neighbors know your age?” Lizzy laughed and poked you. She was what you would consider your girl bestfriend.

“Or maybe they know that you still have stuffed animals in your bed”,joked Simon and threw a pillow at him. “Hey, be careful, my drink!”, he exclaimed with a feigned outrage. You flipped him off. It wasn’t your fault that you could only go to sleep, while holding something in your arm.

“Don’t pout, come I’ll put the bracelet on. Then we get you a tiara and you’ll be a Disney princess.”Lizzy grabbed the bracelet of your hand and put it on you.

“And put the keychain thing to your keychain–”, Marcus said as they all laughed at your embarrassment. You gave them a look. 

“Really guys, do I have to?”, you whined. 

“Yes, give it to me, I’ll do it. You open the rest of our presents. I promise you’ll like them”, winked Simon and held out his hand. Reluctantly you gave him the key chain and started to open the other presents.

The other presents were way better. You got some games, wine and everybody plus your mom pitched in to buy you a new bike. They hid it in front of your door before. You had tears in your eyes as you thanked each of them. ‘You had the best friends’ 

After eating the cake there was nothing to stop you guys from going all out. Drinking games, Beer pong, dancing or just talking. Later on, Lucas and his girlfriend arrived around 10. At this point everybody was in a good mood and slightly drunk. On seeing the bike, Mary was offended that they hadn’t waited for them to give me my present. 

You were about to tell her that it was your birthday, when some of the others already apologized to her. Telling her they didn’t know when they would show up.Annoyed, you refilled your drink, and went back to the friends playing beer pong. You needed to get drunk more to be nice to her. She wasn’t even here for 5 minutes and everything had to resolve around her.

The party got louder and better, all having a good time. Half an hour before you wanted to leave Mary came to you while dancing, grabbing your arm. “Is that the bracelet you got from your neighbor? The others told me about it. It's so cute. Can I try it on? I always wanted something like this…”, Mary asked you with her stupid baby voice. She immediately tried grabbing it off your arm.

“Ehm, hey wait a second. Here, but I want back before we go.”, You didn’t want any drama today. She nodded her head, waved you off and reassured you that you would get it back in a second.

You did, in fact, not get it back within a second and when you were standing in the queue to the club, you realized that she still had it on. Now it was too late.

Inside the club your friends surprised you, they booked a small area to sit with a table in the middle. Some drinks and bottles, waiting for you in the middle. 

“Guys! You shouldn’t have!”, you exclaimed happily. 

“Only the best for you Birthday girl!” Simon cheered! Hugging you tightly. Celebrating your birthday never felt better. You did a few shots and then most of you went off dancing to the dancefloor for the next hour.

Coming back from the dance floor you sat back down exhausted. Every time you went out you asked yourself the same question. ‘Why did you even decide to wear heels today?’ All of you started to get new drinks and someone suggested to spice things up and play an old fashioned “Truth or Dare”. Without truth of course, because it was way too loud.

You loved these games, it was always fun to watch. Though you didn’t like doing dares yourself, always feeling a bit shy and easily embarrassed. Now with the alcohol you did feel more comfortable. Maybe you would be up to do a dare. As if reading your thoughts Simon yelled at you over the table “Y/N”. 

You looked at him with pleading eyes, your confidence dwindling. “Noo.. Please…”

“No! I’ve waited enough. I dare you to go out there and make out with a stranger!” he exclaimed, pointing to the dance floor. Some of your friends whistled at that. 

Not waiting for you to think about it Simon stood up. “Do you trust me? We go dancing and I promise I won’t let some creep near you. Only handsome guys?” He held out his hand. You thought about it. If not now, when would you ever do it? You needed to get over your own shadow. Quickly you emptied your glass. For the extra bit of confidence.

“Pinky promise?” you asked, feeling bold suddenly and holding out your pinky. He looked surprised and instantly linked your pinky with his. “Promisee.” happily he dragged you to the dance floor. 

“What's your age range? Still someone around your age?” Simon asked, wiggling his eyebrows. 

You rolled your eyes at his behavior. “I don’t know. He can be older… but not above 50!!” Simon pretended to be shocked at your revelation, holding his hand above his heart. 

“Older men! How scandalous!”, you jabbed his side. 

“Let's go before I change my mind.”, you threatened. As you made your way on the dance floor they started to play one of your favorite songs ‘Unholy’.

“As information, I’m going back as soon as I see you enjoy yourself. I’m not watching a full make out session from you.”, he shouted in your ear. Laughing, you nodded. Fair enough, you wouldn’t want to watch him make out with Sebastian either. Both of you started dancing to the music, stealing glances at the people around you. 

More like Simon was looking around, whereas you tried not to think about the dare too much. 

You felt the people dancing all around you. Swinging your hips and moving your arms around your body, you felt yourself getting lost in the music. 

Simon and you danced yourself further into the crowd. Someone bumped against your ass, touching it. Before you could even react somebody else pushed that person away. It was not Simon, seeing as he was still dancing right before you. He raised a brow gesturing behind you. Mouthing the simple word ‘Hot’.

While dancing you turned your head slightly to look behind. You couldn’t see much, all the flickering colorful lights made it hard to recognize anything. He was tall, broad shoulders and his hair seemed to be a bit longer. You continued dancing, Simon nodding at you. ‘Fuck it. Simon better not be wrong’ You trusted his judgment. In the rhythm of the music, you danced backwards until you found yourself practically grinding your ass on him. He didn't move away, dancing in sync with you.

One of his hands placed itself on your hip, pulling you even more against him. You felt a sudden rush of confidence, as you continued swaying your ass against him and felt something hardened in his pants. It felt huge. 

Using this confidence boost and as a confirmation you spun around, still dancing. ‘Could you do it?’ Looking up at his face, sadly, the flashing lights still barely illuminated his face. Looking closer you could make out a few facial features. He also had a slight beard. Even without knowing his exact looks, you felt a certain pull towards him. ‘I bet he is handsome’ You were not one to make the first move, but you were going to fulfill your dare. 

‘You could do it. You looked fucking hot  and you wouldn't see him ever again.’ Dancing against him, his slight erection pressing against you, you took the initiative, steadying yourself with one hand at his shirt. 'Why wouldn’t he take the first step? Why did the women need to take control in this situation?' Until now you were always the more experienced partner, so it was nothing new for you. Even though you would like some change. Him taking control, getting rough or just doing what he wants… Maybe you read too many dark romance books.

Slowly wandering with the other hand up his chest, resting it at his neck. Slightly you pulled his head towards you to push your lips onto him. His lips were rough. At first it was just you moving your mouth against his. You felt him putting away his drink on the high table next to you. 

As he still did not reciprocate the kiss and for a second you thought that you read the signs wrong. At least you fulfilled your dare. However as soon as you broke the kiss and stepped back, he roughly grabbed your face, pulling you back into him. Surprised by the sudden force of his grip, a small yelp escaped you, before he silenced it with a kiss. The action instantly sent a warm fuzzy feeling down to your core. 

Kissing you hard, your mouths moved in sync. His large hand on the side of your face kept your head in place. You winced slightly when he bit your lip, but he hardly seemed to notice. He tried to slip his tongue between your lips, but you denied it. 

Trying to gain control of the kiss and situation. You heard a low grumble from him, he seemed discontented with your attitude. You smirked against his lips, which seemed to annoy him further. Moving his hands down your body, he grabbed your ass, hard. The pain going straight into your core, making you moan into his mouth. He seized the opportunity to slip his tongue inside your mouth. 

This time you didn’t even try to get the upper hand, you liked that he was in control. Finally someone who was more dominant in these things. Giving you the time to explore this new, more submissive side. Letting go of your face he moved his hand down your body. Over your chest, stomach and finally resting at your hips, pulling you against him. Goosebumps traveled all over your body, where his hands touched you. Your brain felt dazed, this was the hottest makeout session you ever had. You didn’t care about his roughness or the biting, you rather liked it.

When he broke the kiss you were both panting heavily. Slowly, almost teasing, he traced his fingers up your spine before grabbing you by your hair and tilting your head upwards to look at him. Your mouth parted slightly, a small moan escaped your lips. It stung where he had his grip on your hair, but the slight pain turned you on even more. Sure you knew you liked reading about these kinds of things, but experiencing them made you feel even more aroused.  

For a split second, you thought you saw his panting expression change into a smirk. Before you could think twice, he kissed you again. Your mind instantly went blank, his kiss was like a drug. This kiss was slower, still rough but he set the tone. Moving his lips against yours, pushing his hand between your legs. You felt hot, everything felt way too hot to bear, never had you been kissed with such passion. You needed to be closer to him. You tried running your hands down his body. 

He removed his hands in an instant, grabbing yours and pushing them back to your sides. You let out a small whine. ‘What was going on with you? You never whined. You felt like a schoolgirl, making out for the first time’ Shaking his head disapprovingly, he turned away to grab his drink. Taking a sip, he held it near your lips, offering it to you. “It’s just water.”

You knew you shouldn’t drink from strangers, though you were way too drunk to think straight or even logically. ‘You wanted to keep making out and if that helped?’ Looking up at him you tilted your head forward against the glass and emptied the whole glass. You didn’t even realize how thirsty you were, and a glass of water seemed like a good option.

“Good girl.”, you heard his deep voice beside your ear. The loud music was making it hard to hear him clearly. The praise went straight to your core. He put his drink away and you began dancing to the music. More like grinding on each other. 

He still didn’t allow you to touch him much and you wanted nothing more than to travel your hands up and down on his body, or under his shirt. He leaned down, grabbing your hips to press you against him. Pressing his hard crotch against your lower stomach, making you inhale a sharp breath.  

“Can I get your number?” his deep voice mumbled against your ear. You pondered. It felt like he was growling. Slowly he began caressing your ear, gently kissing his way to your neck, making you close your eyes, leaning your head back to give him better access. Your legs were feeling weak. Running his thumb along your jawline, he sucked and bit in your neck, as he kissed his way back to your ear. 

“Please?” his voice was a low growl against your ear. Your eyes fluttered open again as you nodded, desire filled your body. You would do anything, if he kept going on like this. 

He kissed you softly this time and you bit his lip as he tried ending the kiss. You wanted to kiss him longer. You missed his warmth already, and also missed the dark look flashing up in his eyes. He pulled his phone out, tipping something before handing it to you. As you grabbed his phone, you felt yourself wobble to the side. Luckily he grabbed you in time and stadied you against his body. Now your back was pressed against his front.

You thought about grinding your butt against him, but as if sensing your thoughts he nudged you towards his phone. Looking at the screen, it was truly hard to concentrate for you. He kept sidetracking you by placing soft kisses on your neck.

Blinking rapidly you slowly made out the numbers. Your vision seemed a bit blurry, your eyes feeling so heavy. ‘You didn’t even drink that much’ After what felt like hours you successfully put in your number. As soon as you were done, he grabbed his phone back.

You were so drunk that you didn’t notice the contact already had a name. - Sweetheart - Turning back to him you nearly lost your balance, falling against his chest. His arm wrapped around your side, steadying you as he began walking you through the crowd of dancing people. You found it so difficult to keep your balance, you felt funny. You couldn’t seem to focus, everything stayed a bit blurred. You didn’t even know where he took you. Was he taking you home?

“Hey, sorry to bother you guys.”, he loudly said to someone over the music as he came to a stop. You leaned your face against his shoulder. You were really tired.

“You are her friends, right? I think someone put something in her drink, one minute she was fine and the next she could barely stand.” Your brows furrowed, ‘drugged? You were fine… when should that have happened? Didn’t those drugs work way quicker?’ Shocked gasps filled the air. 

“I thought I would bring her back to you, so you can get her home.” He had such a calming and sympathetic voice. ‘Why would he bring you back? You were having fun.’ You playfully bit him in his chest, making him tighten his grip on your hip. His lips pressed in a firm line.

“Yes, yes she is our friend. Oh fuck. Thank you so much man!” Four hands grabbed you off the stranger you were leaning onto. You pouted.

“No-o I don’t wa- want to”, your voice slurred, you sounded like a brat. Struggling against their grip, not wanting to leave his side, but they were stronger than you. Also your fight wasn't really that much of a fight as you thought, you could hardly stand straight. You didn’t even knew his name. His jaw clenched as he looked towards you and the two holding you, his eyes lingered on the arm of the girl.

“Yes yes, hopefully you got his number.”, said a high pitched female voice near your ear. It sounded like Mary. You looked around, it was Lucas and Mary who supported you. ‘Why those two?’

 “Why didn’t you tell me you liked older men?” Giggling, you shrugged your shoulders.

“He is so fine, maybe I should talk to him too.” Mary whispered in your ear. ‘What about her boyfriend?’

“Well, thanks again man, I’m Simon, her best friend. We’re taking her home asap, before something happens…” he began, as Lucas and Mary led you away. He gestured for them to stop, but they didn’t look back. Thus you couldn’t hear the rest of the conversation play out. It was a good thing. Drugged or not, your subconsciousness would have freaked out sooner or later.

“No problem Simon. It is what everybody would have done. Call me Cooper.”, he held his hand out for him to shake, which Simon gladly accepted.

“Nah, I don’t think so. Some sick fuck, may have taken advantage of her in a state like that. So thank you Cooper.. Shit, I just wanted her to have a good time on her birthday.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself Simon. I was glad I could help. Wish her a happy birthday from me, I hope she feels better in the morning.” Simon nodded, turning around to talk with the others and Cooper soon vanished in the crowd. Slowly your friends started to follow the three of you back to the entrance of the club. 

“Hey, Y/N you stay here and wait. Lucas and I get the jackets. Just hold onto the handrail of the stairs or sit down. You can stand on your own for a bit, can’t you? ”she asked, concerned and something different in her voice. You gave her a thumbs up before holding onto the railing again. 

“We will hurry as best as we can, the others should be here soon.” She came closer, whispering in your ear. 

“Also you can stop your show now. Yes it’s your birthday, but do you need that much attention?”, with that she and lucas made her way to the coat check waiting line. 

You let your head fall back as you take deep breaths. ‘Show? What show?’ Deeply breathing in the fresh air that was coming from the entrance. Few people were walking past you either coming in or leaving the club. Still it was hard concentrating on anything, but you were doing okay.

Until you weren’t. All of a sudden you felt something against your back and in the next moment you lost your footing and along with the grip on the handrail and flew down the stairs. Instinctively your body tried not to hit the ground face first. For that you turned around to face the top of the stairs. ‘Was there a man?’ you thought. Blinking once whoever you thought you saw was gone, just panicked bystanders. Did you hear Simon?

Your side painfully crashed first into the stairs, then continuing falling further down the stairs. You tried your best to stop or push yourself up, but failed. Someone behind you grabbed your arm to stop you. The only thing it brought you was, that you landed on your foot, with your butt while also twisting it in a painful way. 

(A/N: You know, I thought about it, Leaving you hanging right here. However a)  I should not end all my chapters the same, you could get bored and b) I’m not evil.)

Pain shot up from your foot, as your tears began to form in your eyes. “Fuck, Y/N.” Simon and Sebastian seemed next to you in mere seconds. Carefully they lifted you off the ground and gently removed your foot from under you. It hurt like hell.

“Is she alright?”, one of the bouncers came towards you from the entrance, having heard the commotion. 

“Hey, can you move your foot?” Simon asked. You gave it a try, whining instantly. Crying even more you shook your head, your brain was way too foggy to come up with a smart ass reply. 

“Where were you?” yelled an otherwise rather quiet Simon. 

“Getting our jackets...” began Mary.

“She was drugged and you left her alone? Are you serious Mary?” Lizzy yelled too, her face enraged.

“How do we know she really was drugged? Maybe she just played it to get away from that man?” Mary suggested in an annoyed tone. 

“What the fuck? Did you look at her? Does she seem like a normal drunk to you? You have seen her drunk before, but never like this!”, came Lizzy's angry reply.

“Also from what I saw in the beginning, she sucked his fucking face off! Didn’t seem like she hated it.” Simon countered. 

“Why did you even leave her alone in the first place? None of this would have happened! Lucas you have no brain of your own anymore?”, Sebastian joined their yelling. The statement made Lucas' face turn the darkest shade of red. 

“Fucking pathetic. Lets get her to the emergency room, someone order an uber?”Simon turned around angrily, and he and Lizzy helped you up. Each of them supported you as you hobbled down towards the streets. The way from the Club to the ER was gone in a blur. You couldn’t remember most of it. One minute you were leaving the club and in the next you laid on a bed in the ER. ‘How did you get here?’

You looked around for your friends, but the room was empty besides Simon who was sitting next to your bed with a worried expression. Your head felt clearer, you cleared your throat.

“So what did the doctor say, Simon? What's the damage?”, better get it over with.

“Well.. bad news first. You have a bruised foot and a hyperextended ligament. As a consequence you have to wear a bandage and walk on crutches for the next month at least.”

You sighed. It seemed like he wasn’t even finished with the bad news yet.  

“You also got a few bruises on your arms, legs and back. Buut the Good news– they've given you something to counteract the effects of the drugs, but you'll probably still have to sleep it off, to fully feel better.”

“Better?” you laughed “I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck. Anything is better than this..”

“I know..” he said as he patted your head. “Listen, they want to keep you here overnight, but just call me in the morning and we will pick you up and drive you home, ok?”

Defeated, you nodded, he squeezed your hand and left soon after. Leaving you alone in the empty room. The rest of the night was uneventful. The nurses checking up on you from time to time, bringing you more water. Sadly they also woke you up at 6 to check your vitals again and give you painkillers. After one final talk with the doctor, getting instructions from him for the next weeks and your crutches, you were ready to go home. 

As promised Simon picked you up, he even cleaned your apartment from you and forbade you from helping. He was too kind. He even made Sebastian shop some groceries for you, which he brought over. So you didn’t need to stress about that for the next couple of days. About two hours later they left, telling you to call if you needed something. 

You never had a wild birthday like that before, but somehow trouble seemed to find you. It was just a small consolation that nothing had happened to you the last months.

Still exhausted, you laid back on the couch, still in your yesterday's outfit. Closing your eyes as you enjoyed the silence. The ping of your phone ringing loud through the quietness of your apartment. You grabbed your phone and held it above your face. It was from Simon, he left not even a minute ago. Did he forget something? You opened your Phone.

– I totally forgot to tell you something. I meant to wish you a happy birthday from the man from the club last night. He also wished for you to get well soon. –

A second message followed.

– You remember? The one you made out with? He said his name was Cooper. –

Cooper…You knew that name. There was only one person that came to your mind with that exact name. Alarm Bells were going off in your head, but whatever they gave you in the hospital was working. You weren’t shaking or panicking, you were rather calm, what confused you. 

That couldn’t be true, no. Surely you would have recognized him, even in the dim light of the club. It wasn’t that dark, was it? You rested your phone on your chest and began thinking about last night. Trying to remember, you realized that reconstructing the evening would be way harder than you thought. There were a lot of gaps in your memories and many were quite foggy. Perhaps it was because of the drugs mixed in your drink.

Sighing you closed your eyes, attempting to recollect what the stranger looked like. He was tall, had a small beard, you didn’t remember his eye or hair color, but his hair was a bit longer? You were unsure. You remembered his large hands on your body, holding your head in place while kissing you. He was strong for sure. 

‘Think straight!’ you warned yourself, already starting to feel hot again. Just thinking about it still turned you on. ‘If that was Cooper, the man from that concert. You were fucked.’ 

You tried to arrange your thoughts. Yes, you made out with him, a serial killer, and you liked it, you felt disgusted. ‘You didn’t know it was him. Why would he even be there? The possibility was close to zero’ Suddenly you remembered something. 

Didn’t you drink from his drink? Of course you were drunk before, but after that everything went downhill. Recalling how super drunk and tired you felt soon afterwards. It would all make sense.

Except… Why did he bring you back to your friends then? Perhaps it was a weird coincidence? 

Maybe you should ask Simon if his name was really Cooper. Maybe he misunderstood? That looked like a good option. Opening your phone, you started to answer Simon as a new message came in. 

It was from an unknown number. A simple: – Happy Birthday Sweetheart. –

It couldn’t be, you changed your number. Not many people called you that and you faintly remember Cooper calling you like that. Before you could wonder about it more, a second message from the same number appeared. What you read then made your heart freeze in fear, your pulse increased and hands started shaking, which made reading the message harder.

– You know, you were always nervous and so easily startled, like a cute little doe. Constantly on alert and looking around, to run away, at the slightest noise. Though if there were a little accident to happen. Where will you go now little doe, if you can’t even run? –

(A/N: nvm i am evil)

[pekejscatbed]

Please Don't Leave (i need you more than you need me) | Jason Todd & Tim Drake

info/warnings: Tim Drake Angst, Tim Drake Has Issues, Tim Drake is Not Okay, Tim Drake Needs a Hug, Tim Drake Gets a Hug, Tim Drake is Red Robin, Good Sibling Jason Todd, Protective Jason Todd, Jason Todd is Red Hood, Angst, Light Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Crying, Men Crying, Panic Attacks, Hugs, Platonic Cuddling

batman masterlist

------

It's weird, Tim and Jason's relationship. 

When they'd first met, Tim had been looking up to him for years, long before ever taking up the mantle of Robin himself, but as the new Robin, Jason hated him. Jason saw Tim as nothing but his replacement, just some kid who took his place after he died- after Joker murdered him- and he was forgotten. So, Jason tried to kill him. Jason beat the kid to a bloody pulp and Tim's infatuation turned to hated as the trauma set in.

A few years have passed since then, and while the two aren't constantly at each other throats and can actually have a civil conversation and crack trauma jokes that would make anyone else uncomfortable, the scars are still there. Neither of them has forgotten their first encounter and Tim will never forget the pain.

So, this is definitely a surprise. 'This' being Tim, still in his Red Robin gear, curled up on the old, ratty couch in Jason's safe house when the latter gets back after a long night of anti-heroism.

"The fuck are you doing here, Tim?" Jason takes off his helmet and domino mask, setting them both on the small, wooden table in the center of the room. He isn't mad, not really. For all he knows, Tim could be injured, and the safe house could've been closer than the Batcave- it's happened before (it amazes Jason how the younger always gets in without setting off any of the multiple traps, and also worry's him- should he set more, should he blow this place up and start over?). "You hurt?"

Tim doesn't respond, not verbally, and Jason almost misses the small shake of his head. 

Okay, the kid doesn't wanna talk. That's fine. Jason thinks to himself as he takes off his boots, setting them next to the table. "I'm gonna go to bed, then."

(By bed, Jason really means the futon hidden away in the only room in this place other than the bathroom and the weapons vault, though that's hidden (everything else is just one big open space))

"No!" Tim jumps off the couch so fast, the movement startles Jason more than the kids broken down yelling. The kids' cowl is off, and his own domino mask is dropped to the floor when he stands, falling from his lap, and his eyes are rimmed red and wet with tears. Jason only now realizes that Tim is shaking, violent shudders wracking through his whole body. He's in front of the older in an instant, shaky hands gripping onto Jason's jacket, and he looks up at his adoptive brother with a desperate plea in his watery eyes.

Jason fights back the urge to shove Tim off of him, maybe flip him over his shoulder, the sudden touch activating his fight or flight response- he has to stop himself from leaving too, because the situation is awkward and Jason's never been all that good at comforting people, but his little brother (when had he started thinking of Tim as family?) needs him so he stays, slowly wrapping his arms around Tim. 

Tim slumps against Jason's body, who easily supports his weight, and sobs into his chest. Pleas of "don't leave me" and the like slip through Tim's sobs, but Jason gives no response, instead just holding his brother close and letting him cry himself out.

They stand there for a while until Tim's sobs die down and his body stops tremoring so violently, though he's still somewhat shaky, and he's taking deep breaths against Jason's chest. With Tim finally calming down, Jason starts to pull away, but Tim's grip on him tightens and his breathing quickens up; Jason holds him close once more, rubbing small circles into his back, and takes deep inhales, followed by slow exhales for Tim to match. 

As Tim copies Jason's breathing, Jason starts whispering, voice quiet as so not to startle the younger. "Are you okay?" He pauses. "Never mind. Wanna stay the night?"

Truthfully, Jason doesn't think Tim is in any state to go back to the manor and considering the whole "please don't leave me" thing, he probably doesn't want to. Not now, at least. A nod against Jason's chest proves him right.

"You gotta let go, Timmy, so we can get to the bedroom, okay?" Tim whines in response, making no move to let go. "Alright. Want me to carry you, then?"

A small nod, and Jason is telling Tim to jump, then he's picking up Tim like he weighs nothing, his hands under the others' legs, which are now wrapped around his waist. Slowly, Jason walks them both to the small room he calls a bedroom, filled with his futon, a small dresser/nightstand, and a radio plugged into the wall. 

When the older leans over to carefully drop Tim onto the futon, he's met with some resistance, though Tim (reluctantly) lets go when Jason promises he's just going to change them both out of their… 'work' uniforms and then Tim can cling onto him all he wants. 

The younger curls up on the bed as Jason peels off his armor and lets it fall to the floor, then grabs a pair of sweats and a tank to change into, grabbing another pair of sweats and a t-shirt for Tim. Speaking of, when Jason tells Tim to sit up so he can slip off his suit, Tim actually listens, making Jason's job here much, much easier. The older then shimmies the sweatpants up Tim's legs, holding back a snort at how loose they are on him, then pulls the shirt over Tim’s head, this time openly snorting at how small Tim looks in it compared to Jason himself; Tim gives him a half assed glare as he lies back down, though the glare is quickly forgotten as Jason tells him to scoot over, then lies down next to him.

Tim is immediately clinging to his older brother again, head on his chest and arm around his waist, and Jason wraps his arms around Tim's back in return. And really, the cuddling (Jason will deny it's cuddling) is making it easier for both men to actually fit on the small futon that definitely is not meant for a fully grown man and his nineteen-year-old brother.

Both of them fall asleep in the comfort of each other's arms, and Jason is happy to not have any nightmares plague his rest for once.

------

When Jason wakes up the next morning, Tim is gone, though the space next to him is still warm, and there's a note on his dresser/nightstand: invest in a bed for fucks sake.

[mioyeo]

8 makes 1 team

No matter how different, without one of us there is no 8 makes 1 Team

Synopsis : In which 8 boys build a friendship despise of their differences with the help of a psychiatrist

Pairing : psychiatrist! Reader x Ateez (for now )

Warnings : this chapter includes mentions of , abuse towards hongjoong , crying , harsh insults , slight bonding time , minor panic attack, Slight violence, yelling , mentioning’s of suicide, San and Yeosang arguing, please tell me if I forget something , and I’m not romanticizing disorders in anyway and this is pure fiction meaning this doesn’t represent Ateez in any type of way

For every new chapter I’ll place this (🟢) beside it in the masterlist so you guys know that the chapter is new and was posted recently

Tag list : @veneziamadness , @hcyaa , @sadcoffeecritic , @aapplepii , @lavishloving , @dogsongy , @acciocriativity , @k33vad3la , @seonghwifey , @hanjihyun23 , @yunhoswrld123 , @cqndiedcherries ,

Also if you want to be added to the tagging list for the next chapter comment so I can add you

Word count: 2,5k

She had put the bottles away to dry after bringing the boys to the recess room , everyone in individual rooms because she couldn't have them together for now after just meeting once

And the breakfast room was cleaned and everything was replaced

Y/n went out and locked the door before making her way towards Hongjoong's room

The guard looked irritated as he stood in front of the door doing his morning shift

" Did he sleep well ? "

" That kid has been screaming for the past hour  and throwing a tantrum "

She frowned and looked inside the room seeing the boy on his bed playing with the sheets

" What did you do to him ? "

" I set him straight, I don't get paid enough for this  anyways "

She chuckled and went closer to the guard and patted his chest while reading his name tag

" Do you have kids ? "

" Yeah I do "

Y/n went closer to his face and pushed his forehead back forcefully

"  Do you also hit them ? like you hit other peoples children come on tell me "

" N-No ma'am "

The guard started shaking from the fierce stare she gave him

" Don't you think your being a hypocrite? "

" I-I-I I'm sorry forgive me "

He rubbed his hands together in a pleading way as he looked down

" Why should I take you seriously if your not even looking at me "

She scoffed and grabbed his chin to look at her

" Just so you know I don't treat people this way but since you put your hands on a child that didn't hurt you in anyway you should experience the same mistreatment, and let this be the last time I see you or hear you've done something to any of the patients here I'll have you fired without further words being spoken "

The guard nodded and kept his head down as she went inside the room

" Good morning Hongjoong "

She approached the boy and kneeled down in front of him

" Y/n y-you came "

He teared up and hugged her

" I know Joongie , I promise you he won't put his hands on you again "

The boy sobbed on her shoulder and pinched her clothes

" We are gonna have breakfast today with our other friends "

" F-Friends? Hongjoong has no friends "

" I'm also your friend don't worry "

She caressed his head and rubbed his back

" I brought something for you so we can keep the bad away "

She opened his antipsychotic meds and held it out to him

" Really? "

" Yes , we want them to leave you alone right ?"

He nodded and gulped it down with a cup of water

" We are gonna start taking these everyday so we can see if it really helps "

He stared at her and smiled before standing up

" Breakfast time ! "

" Yes but before that we will go and pick up someone else to join us "

She smiled and extended her hand to which he grabbed immediately

" Hongjoong is meeting his friends? "

" Yes , We will meet the other boys for breakfast "

" Ahhh "

She locked his room and saw that another guard stood in front of his door

"I'm the new guard assigned to him they switched the other guard since he asked I don't know why he would but well here we are "

He smiled brightly unlike the other guards and genuinely seemed exited

" You seem strangely exited to work today "

She looked at him carefully as he scratched the back of his head nervously

" It was really hard to get this job , and I've been training for this too "

" Really? your devoting your youth to these children here are you sure "

He chuckled and smiled at Hongjoong that stared at him with a tedious facial expression

" I also had a brother that worked here but he was moved to one of the calmer area's and I was really amazed by this job so I decided to try this and I also love kids "

" Well please treat them well and I wish you luck from now on "

She smiled at him and walked away with Hongjoong who looked back at the young guard that waved at him sweetly

" Looks like our next friend is asleep still "

She looked inside and checked in with Hongjoong trailing behind her

" We need to be quiet ok ? "

" No need I was already awake "

San rose up and Hongjoong screamed loudly scared holding onto Y/n's back

" Hongjoong what happened? "

" I know I probably look scary because of my eye bags but I'm not I promise "

He yawned and stood up walking towards his sink sloppily

" How do you feel San ? and this is Hongjoong one of the boys in your group for breakfast "

" I feel like shit not gonna lie , and nice to see who I'll see everyday at breakfast "

The boy groaned tiredly as he grabbed his brush and started brushing his teeth

" I have something for you , since the meds you had before where not working "

She waved his antidepressants in the air

" W-Why does he have a sad look on his face "

Hongjoong looked at Y/n and played with the hem of his pajamas

" Well buddy I don't actually wanna be here I wish I'd been never born to begin with "

San replied and brushed his black hair with mint green strands back so he looked neat

" Why are you still here ? "

The elder stared at San who just chuckled

" I wish I'd known a answer to that "

" One day you'll get to know why San "

She opened the door and waited for him to follow both her and Hongjoong who kept staring at things

" How many people are we ? "

"Without counting me it's just four of you guys"

San hummed and continued walking as he watched Hongjoong try and pull off his bandage

" Your not supposed to take that off , it's there for a reason so don't take it off "

Hongjoong let go of his wrist after he was stopped  and nodded

" Well looks like he is already awake and waiting "

She looked inside Yunho's room and saw that  the boy looked like he was about to cry so she rushed inside

" Hey Yunho what's the matter ? "

" Duri send me away and tore up my apology letter we are no more friends "

His lips quivered and he bursted out crying

" That's ok if he doesn't want to be friends with you anymore, you will be friends with San and Hongjoong for sure "

" Honestly that is a terrible thing anyone could have ever done to someone that's supposed to be their friend so don't feel bad that person just didn't deserve you "

" Joongie your friend now "

Hongjoong smiled and hugged Y/n jumping up and down making her chuckle and San smile genuinely for the first time that week

" See you just gained a friend "

" But he wont hurt me right ? "

" He will not hurt you Hongjoong don't worry "

Yunho looked at them and wiped his tears with a tiny smile before screaming breakfast making Hongjoong cover his ears as the other two chuckled

" Yes Yunho we will have breakfast as soon as we pick up our next friend "

She held Hongjoong's hand as they all went out

" Who is the eldest here ? "

" Hongjoong is sixteen and San is fifteen "

" I'm also fifteen "

The boy smiled and held his hand out to San for a high five which was returned immediately

" What did you guys pick for breakfast? "

" I took Chocolate cereal "

" I took Apple jam ! It's so tasty on bread "

Hongjoong wasn't really trying to interact into the conversation he was busy playing with

Y/n's ring on her finger

" Your hair looks cool I like it can I touch?"

Yunho looked at San's hair amazed which made the younger smile and lower his head

" You know I want to sign up for the salon they will dye our hair again "

" Really? What color would you pick? "

" I always wanted to try having Black hair with red strands of hair ! "

" That's what I was actually going for "

Yunho gasped and clapped his hands

"Can we match please ? That would be so cool "

" Sure just sign me beside your name and than we can go together "

They all came to an stop in front on the door before Y/n checked in warning them that the next one tended to be a little mean

" Good Morning Yeosang I see you dyed your hair a new color your blonde now "

Y/n smiled at the boy that had a scowl on his face

" Who are they and why are they in here ? "

He stood up and fixed his shirt rolling his eyes

" This is the group you'll be having breakfast with from now on and lunch plus dinner "

" Hello I'm Yunho ! "

" I'm San and that's Hongjoong "

Yeosang furrowed his eyebrows and stared at Yunho

" Did you already had a circus for breakfast? Your so loud like shut up "

Yunho scratched the back of his head and apologized

" I'm happy because me and San are going to match hair colors! "

He couldn't help but get loud again

" Ok and ? Just be quiet your making me regret waking up again "

" Let him be happy "

San rubbed his eyes and looked at Yeosang with a unimpressed expression

" I wasn't talking to you , you crackie looking moldy hair boy "

" Yeosang please remember what I told you "

The boy scoffed and walked towards the  door

" That's the most lamest insult I have ever had directed towards me and I've been called worse by better people "

San snorted and looked at Yeosang unbothered

" Your so funny "

The blonde scoffed and turned towards Y/n with a painful smile

" Can we go eat ? I'm trying to control myself from destroying this boys whole live "

" Yeosang we will have breakfast now and please both of you stop with the insults "

Yunho looked at San and patted his back

" Your so mean "

"And  I'm jealous of all the people who haven't met you what a privilege "

" Yeosang I said stop "

She looked at him before unlocking the door and letting everyone inside the breakfast room

" Woah look there is all types of cereal "

Hongjoong gasped and ran towards it

" Well you may all sit beside anyone you want to sit with and than you can start having breakfast "

She went closer to Yeosang and nodded at him as she saw the boy hesitate to sit and get himself something to eat

" San I'll give you these before you eat ok ? "

He filled himself a cup of water and took the antidepressants out of her hands before gulping everything down

"Aww the big mouth is a depressed cry baby "

San eyed him and decided not to respond for Y/n's sake and started to talk to Yunho who was heads over heals for the amount of delicious food there was

" Don't be offended I'm not insulting you I'm just describing you "

" You are clearly bored in life "

" Sounds so rich coming from the one who tried so many times to end his lif- "

Everything went silent and watched Yeosang close his eyes in disbelief as he was soaking wet

" Hongjoong , don't do that "

Y/n widened her eyes and grabbed tissues to started wiping Yeosang's face who pushed her off and grabbed the elder by his collar

" You fucking freak what is your problem! "

He yelled at Hongjoong and shook the boy

"Stop bein-ng mean t-to Hongjoong's friends! "

The elder yelled back and pushed Yeosangs hands off him

" Isn't it enough that you killed people? "

San stood up and pulled Hongjoong away from the scene

" Want to join them ? I'll gladly help "

"I may not be able to control my emotions and whatsoever but you should definitely be able to control your mouth ! "

The elder was pushed by San's angry state

" Stop it this instant "

She raised her voice and held Yeosang back

" This is unnecessary, y'all are supposed to have a calm breakfast and not this "

" B-But Y/n he was attacking San ! "

Yunho yelled and backed San up who shed angry tears

" I know which are completely out of line , but Yeosang has problems controlling himself and what he says , im not trying to cover up for what he does but if you try your best to ignore or reprehend him it will help you both "

" How is it gonna help me that he's fucked up in the head "

San  scoffed and rolled his eyes

" Insulting will never bring us far in anything , it may feel good but it's a temporary thing "

She sighed and took some fresh blue pajamas out of the box and handed it to Yeosang

" Go change and go back "

The boy grabbed the clothes and went inside the rooms bathroom after glaring at San

" San it was not ok of you to push and agitate him more just like what he did and said was unacceptable , and Hongjoong I don't want to see you splash water at anyone again am I clear boys ? "

Hongjoong nodded and hugged her side

" I'm sorry for throwing water at Yeosang "

" And  I'll try to ignore his comments even though they hurt a lot and I really wish I could help him stop being like this "

" Why does he even do this Y/n "

Yunho looked at her curious as he continued to rub San's back

" Well Yeosang had a pretty bad history with bullying and negligence during his childhood which leads us to why he is this way "

"P-Poor Yeosang ,why would someone do this "

" That I will never know why but I just know that he will recover and you guys are also a part of his therapy process "

" I'll try to not let myself down by his words "

" Me too ! "

San wiped his eyes and sighed as Yunho hugged him softly for comfort

" You both are such bright and sweet boys don't let a single thing bother you "

" What about me ?! I'm also sweet and bright "

Yunho exclaimed and furrowed his brows making everyone smile

" Of course you are Yunho how could I forget "

She ushered everyone to finish eating as she cleaned the wet floor

" What is inside that box ? "

" I have some things for you guys to do in some minutes , let me go and check up on Sangie "

She went towards the bathroom and knocked but the door wasn't even locked so she peaked inside seeing the boy standing in front of the mirror  with his eyes closed and his head hung down

" Yeosang everything good in here ?  "

Y/n stepped inside and walked closer to him

“ Is he ok ? ”

“ You mean San ? ”

He nodded and looked up with a scowl

“ Yes he’s doing good now , you that-”

“ I know it hurt him and I don’t know if I feel bad but I’m having this certain pain on my chest area and I don’t know what it is ”

Yeosang finally looked at her and held confusion in his eyes

“ Yeosang your feeling bad for what you did to San and that’s good that your developing some kind of feelings for your actions just like when you laughed that one time when I told you a story and you stopped after saying it didn’t sound funny to you anymore ”

She smiled and crossed her arms together

“ I-I don’t feel bad for him ”

He scoffed but wasn’t sure himself

“ If you finish sorting out your thoughts come out and finish eating ”

She ruffled his hair and this time he didn’t protest

[optimist-pine]

Hey there, today I got stress tested and, long story short, I have an extreme case of burnout. I’ve been having panic attacks, dissociating, puking a lot, and have been struggling with a chronic illness, deaths in the family, etc. I really hope this doesn’t sound too much like I’m just complaining. I would really appreciate it if you could do the rise boys with someone dealing with… that whole situation. Leo and Donnie are my favorite btw. Thanks!

A/n: That really sucks, Anon. Thanks for opening up and requesting this. I hope this meets your expectations, and I really hope it helps even the tiniest bit. Please let me know how you're doing. (Here's a hug from me to you (⁠⊃⁠｡⁠•́⁠‿⁠•̀⁠｡⁠)⁠⊃)

Word Count: 1,230

Warnings: Severe burnout and related symptoms

---

Leo:

• He's acutely aware of the buildup leading to your burnout

• If you don't come to him by a certain point he's going to gently - but firmly - make you talk things out and tell him what's going on

• Some of these things he already knows about of course, but there are still things he hadn't realized were weighing so heavily on you

• He helps you to establish and maintain a better routine while still giving you space to accomplish things on your own

• Be prepared for lots of non-verbal reminders including:

• Him setting out personal care items to have a "spa time" every evening to unwind

• The smell of freshly steeped tea coming from an area that's already set up for morning meditation/yoga

• Recruiting Mikey to make healthy family meals where the group conversations are filled with laughter and hope

• Maybe the two of you will even find a project to invest in together that benefits others within the city

• Ninjitsu is an exceptional way to relieve some stress so be prepared for a lot of training

• You'll go up and practice on the rooftops where you can feel the breeze across your skin and hear the people and cars go past

• He'll guide you throughout the movements and encourage you to go without shoes to really feel the cement ground you through your feet

• He hopes, with time, that he can help you to slow down and process things in a way that doesn't allow the stress to overtake and overwhelm you because he hates seeing you so severely burnt out

• He will always be there to listen and he really values communication so please tell him what helps and what doesn't

Donnie:

• Donnie's been there once or twice before, though maybe not nearly as severe as what you're dealing with

• If you tend to withdraw, he's not going to let you go it alone

• He may not be the best talker or listener or all that great with even his own emotions, but he knows something is wrong and he wants to help

• He'll make sure you go and actually do things and get out of your head

• Maybe that means testing out new inventions or going around the city to study the engineering and architecture of the buildings

• Anything to just do something while simultaneously not doing much of anything

• He may also egg you on to play the dance machine they have in the arcade since the physical exertion is good for clearing the head

• He lets you in on his next big secret project, allowing you to not only name but customize its design and final look since that can be the most exciting part of the creation process

• And even though he doesn't feel very confident doing it, he'll try to get you to talk things out because it would really help him understand what's draining you if you outright told him

• He'll make sure you get to bed and get a good amount of sleep, but he also won't let you avoid getting up in the morning since he knows it won't help

• He starts beginning the day with you in conversation about what each of you is looking forward to, and ending the day with what made your day good/better

• Even though he feels like he's the worst at helping you through this, he understands how you feel more than any of his brothers do

Raph:

• Look, it doesn't matter if the issue is physical, mental, or emotional, but this guy's number one solution is cuddles

• Obviously they won't fix things on their own, but it's a good start

• Being in charge of his younger brothers, he understands what it's like to feel like so many things are out of your control that you just can't keep up

• He's going to encourage you to remove yourself from as many responsibilities as possible and take a break - a long one

• He's the best listener if you'll tell him what's going on, although he'll probably ask lots of questions to really understand

• He does a good job of subtly (and sometimes not so subtly) reminding you how valuable you are to himself and the others

• How just your presence is so vital in him keeping his head on straight, so he's going to be right by your side through the thick of it

• This guy's default setting is protective so he may tend to lean towards being overbearing

• He knows this so he'll really try his best not to be - if he seems really awkward or unsure of himself it's not because of you

• He'll probably convince you to box with him for the connection between mental focus and physical coordination and reflexes

• He'll encourage you to really feel the connection between your body and your soul, how each movement connects your physical posture with your mental posture

• Out of all of them, Raph has the most difficult time watching you go through this

• He tends to take everyone's burdens upon himself, and this time he can't, so you can be sure he's going to be doing a lot of little things for you

Mikey:

• Mikey is pretty in-tune emotionally and mentally, so he noticed the progression of things going from bad to worse before they were even bad

• He really, really wants to help and he wears his heart on his sleeve so you can see it in his face constantly

• He doesn't really understand what you're going through, and listening and talking through things isn't his strong suit, but he's a master distractor

• Everything you eat, everything you wear, and everything you do is going to have some added razzmatazz courtesy of Mikey

• He'll drag you out to tag buildings late at night, scour thrift stores for crazy outfits, or serve food at a homeless shelter

• His plans may not have a lot of rhyme or reason but he really wants you to step away from everything and just feel alive and connect with other people

• Laughter is the best medicine, right?

• He'll scrounge up a bunch of art supplies and recruit you to help him spruce up some dingy part of the lair because he's convinced it needs your personal touch

• He'll ask you to come hang on the rooftops for an evening and watch the stars - even if you can't see them in the city

• Moments like this he can actually slow down and focus, so he'll encourage you to talk and tell him what's up

• It scares him that you're not acting like yourself, but he also knows it's something out of your control so he doesn't want you to feel guilty

• He'll grab you and his boombox and go bust some moves on street corners in hopes you'll be filled with the buzz of a group of strangers all hitting a certain groove together

• Mikey cares deeply for you and he'll do whatever he can to help you heal

• He wants to see the sunshine come back into your life

[sumire-bride]

𖧷ɤ———ɤ𖧷

Sumire as a mother.

𖧷ɤ———ɤ𖧷

(( For the person that asked this :) ))

TW: POSSIBLE WARNING FOR PANIC ATTACKS, FORMS OF GENERATIONAL TRAUMA, IF ANYTHING ELSE PLEASE TELL ME SO I CAN ADD THEM :) enjoy

𖧷ɤ———ɤ𖧷

𖧷ɤ— Sumire's motherly by nature, it is no surprise her children would experience her loving and affectionate nature. Filling her children with so much kisses, hugs, and love they could taste it on their tongues.

𖧷ɤ— Her having children would give her the proper ability to change, be a better person and come to terms with her past, she'd sleep more, could get less scared of the dark and people approaching her from behind.

𖧷ɤ— She would sing to her children, easily putting them to sleep. Gently petting their hair as they fall into a hopefully peaceful sleep. She'd like to assume her precious babies aren't forced to deal with haunted memories or creepy unwanted creatures in their time of resting, if so.. Their darling mother will have her sword ready! Come straight into her arms and you'll be fine.

𖧷ɤ—Outside. Outside don't care what they say she will make sure they go outside at least twice a day. Under proper watch of course. She'll teach her children the beauty of things, even as ugly those bugs and dirt are, they're pretty.

𖧷ɤ— She'll teach them many things. Chinese, piano, how to read. It's important after all.

𖧷ɤ— She's no perfect picture mother though, or person. She has her flaws a lot of them loaded with a large amount of baggage. She may have learned to be more comfortable with her child creeping up behind her, but that didn't stop the unwanted quiet whispers, the loud banging foot steps creeping behind her. That feeling can't just magically go away. Child or not, if she's not in the proper mood or mind set and her child hugs her from behind, grabbing her pale legs, she'll scream like a victim being murdered, she might mistake her childs voice for Anzu's.. Or Koukai's, maybe the her twin brothers. She won't want to touch or have anything to do with her child until she's in a better head space.

𖧷ɤ— As they are babies she won't be able to deal with the crying, the constant crying from either waking up from a nap, nightmare, or maybe they hurt themselves, it might make her freak out, as she's rocking them back to sleep if you don't guide her properly she might hold the baby too tight, you as her partner will have to calm her down sooth her until her heavy breathing stops. Don't touch her or the baby, use your words.

𖧷ɤ— The child is going to suffer a form of what Sumire was raised with. Keeping your emotions inside, "crying is bad... He's going to get mad at us..." She won't do what Xaing did to her to her children nor react that same, but she will tell her children what their doing is bad without any explanation why it's 'bad' just that it's bad. She might also tell her children it makes HER upset when their upset. This is saying if she wasn't able to completely get over her fathers doings, she may still tell her child it's bad, but if the ending is she's realized it's okay to cry and be angry, she could be a little bit of comfort to her child. Maybe physically wise.

𖧷ɤ— Sumire will have to soon realize children grow up, her kids get into their teens becoming less dependant on her that will scare her, so much so she'll have a lot of questions, because she never got to experience a proper teenage life she'll be too afraid of letting her teenagers do certain things that aren't bad for teenagers to do. You will need to remind her that they aren't toddlers anymore. She has a hard time letting them go.

SUMIRE- "..But that is too dangerous for a child your age..."

CHILD- "...I'm 16."

SUMIRE- "..It is too late to be outside... Look how bright (dark) it is... Uu... You can fathom how much it would wound me to see you hurt.. Or even worse... Dead...!!"

𖧷ɤ— Losing her child, or god no don't even mention it. Her child dying or leaving for a long period of time will have her all over the place. In the case her child dies, she'll blame her carelessness, and will refuse to stop crying, it will take forever for her to accept her child's death.

𖧷ɤ— If the child perhaps goes off to college she'll just be anxious and overly worried and over flow them with messages asking if their okay and staying out of trouble. She'll need her partner to help her relax. She might also end up tearing up watching them fly out of the nest.

𖧷ɤ— All together, she won't like having maids or anyone unless her partner holding or going near her child. It's something she just has a hard time allowing. Overly protective.

𖧷ɤ— This isn't to say Sumire will be a horrible mother, no not at all. She'd be a god damn amazing mother and will try her hardest to give her child a lot of freedom, she will try not to become like her parents or siblings, and will only want to treat her child with love. She may not realize the slip ups she makes, you'll have to make her realize.

𖧷ɤ— Just help her guide her blind eyes into the right direction, you'll have to help her a bit. She'd 93% be a great AMAZING mother, but her trauma pulls her back. Pull her out of the little hole she was forced to please.

𖧷ɤ———ɤ𖧷

[themoonmunchkin]

Don't look!

Pairing : Bakugo katsuki x gn!reader, Midoriya Izuku x gn!reader, Todoroki Shoto x gn!reader.

Genre : fluff

Warnings : insecure reader, cussing, savage deku?, kinda angsty but overall super fluffy ^3^

Synopsis : you're insecure about your side profile but they're having none of it.

Not gonna lie, he probably wouldn't even have known that this was an insecurity that people had.

So when you first start dating he wouldn't think much of it when you cover your nose while laughing or when you contour your jawline extra hard.

Until one day you start letting your thoughts get to you again, you think about how everyone around you have such a beautiful side profile.

You start wondering why Katsuki even bothers to be with someone as "ugly" as yourself, I mean has he seen his face.

But anyways you start distancing yourself from the world again, start hiding your face with your hair, have mental break downs in the night, refuse to take pictures and completely shut him out while thinking you're being subtle.

But no, no, no- my mans noticed...and he's currently having a full blown panic attack on the inside.

He's really worried at this point and starts thinking about what he's done wrong, he tries to talk to you but you're always making excuses and running away from him.

Now, he's had enough and so he quite literally barges into your dorm room and demands an explanation as he keeps shouting at you until....

.....he takes in your tear stained face with fresh tears forming at the corner of your eyes.

You were seated on the floor with a hand mirror clutched to your chest, the same one that you use to point out all your insecurities in, your phone is on the ground next to you with a picture of a model, her perfect side profile on display...the same one that you always compare yourself to.

Cue in a confused, angry and sad boom boom boy 😔.

Who the fuck had the audacity to make his baby cry hmm 🤬.

But then his anger vanishes just as it comes and before you knew it, he's shut the door behind him, quickly walks upto you, swoops you into his arms and cradles you in his lap.

"Ssshhh....its ok baby, I'm right here". Bakugo softly coos in your ear while running his fingers through your hair and letting his other hand rub your back. "Talk to me honey, what's wrong?"

You pull back a little and look up at him into his pain filled eyes that still hold so much love for you and that's when you tell him everything.

You tell him about how you've always hated your nose, how you've always wished you'd had a more chiseled jawline, how you've been bullied about your side profile by your peers and how you've never felt good enough.

He still doesn't get it because you're genuinely the most stunning person he's ever laid his eyes on, but understands how this is something that seriously bothers you and so he's gonna do everything in his powers to yeet those insecurities out.

Now Bakugo isn't one to lie or sugarcoat something, but he's also not someone who'll let you sit and hurt yourself like that.

He takes a deep breath, cups your cheeks in his hands and looks at you with the most earnest look on his face.

"Listen here baby, you're right maybe you don't have the most chiseled jawline or the sharpest nose out there-"

You winced at that a little but he was quick to speak again.

"I'm not done yet-" he closes his eyes and thinks for a second, words have never been his thing as he's someone who prefers actions instead but right now you needed more than just a kiss or a hug, you needed security and reassurance, so he takes in another deep breath and opens his eyes to look at you again.

"-just because you don't have those doesn't mean you're any less beautiful." He said with a smile as you curiously looked at him. You looked so damn cute to him all he wanted to do was pounce on you right then and there, but he held himself back for your sake and the next things he said made you fall in love with him even more.

"What you have suits your gorgeous fucking face, you don't have to change for any stupid extra and no one's opinion, not even yours is going to make me view you any differently or make me love you any less." He leaned in and gave you a chaste kiss on your lips that pretty much took your breath away and then he pulled back with a cute blush on his face.

"So from now on only listen to me okay and no matter what-" he kisses you again and pulls back a second time "-I will make you look at yourself the way I and so many other people look at you".

Now he's had his fair share of insecurities and he's had a lot of people call him "plain looking" (which I still don't understand how when he's got some of the rarest and most beautiful features) even then those words about his looks have never really got to him.

But when it comes to you, he immediately knows something's up with all those self-deprecating jokes you apparently find to be funny.

Doesn't question you cause he doesn't want to scare you away, also because he trusts you to come to him if something is wrong.

But alas you and your stubborn ass refused to seek help from anyone and instead you chose to cope with yourself by putting yourself down in the form of those awful "jokes".

You've always tried to get yourself to stop this, but it soon became more than a coping mechanism, it was the only way you could hold yourself up without wanting breaking into peices.

That was dangerous.

But it's ok! It's still all fine and dandy until one day everything changes and you realise that all that self-deprecation didn't do shit.

Its Sunday today and you and your boyfriend Izuku have been walking around the shopping plaza for a while now.

The two of you were on a date, but you were also on a hunt for the new all might merch that your boyfriend has been fangirling about since forever. So far there was no luck on your end but y'all weren't about to give up just yet.

"OMG! I think I see it in there!" Izuku squeals cutely while pointing at what looks like a moderately big comic store that had an emo cyber punk looking aesthetic to it.

*Gasp*..."OMG! I think I see it too!! Let's go!!" and with that you grabbed his hand and were dragging your blushy stuttering mess of a boyfriend towards the store. It was adorable how easily he got flustered even after how the two of you were almost half a year into dating.

The two of you finally reached the store and stepped in, there it was the brand new neon tinted holographic Allmight figuring with working layers. Izuku's eyes sparkled as he ran towards it and immediately snatched it off the shelf.

"Yay we finally got it!" You cheered as you walked over to him and gave him a high five. The two of you had bright smiles on your faces as you talked about the figuring and walked towards the counter to pay for it.

You looked towards the counter where a young girl who looked about your age was working as a cashier, she had this bored expression on her face until she saw your boyfriend and it immediately changed into something you could only call as a flirty expression.

"Hey there handsome~ what can I help you with today~" she said in a sultry tone and gave him a wink. You and izuku were both puzzled at the fact that she not only just openly flirted with your boyfriend but also completely ignored your existence.

"U-um....er....we just need this figuring please". Izuku placed the box covered figuring on the counter and was about to pull his hands back when she quickly grabbed them and cupped them with her own hands.

"You sure, how about I give you my number and we ditch this place to go get coffee."

"Um -uh no thank you, I have a s/o!"

"Hmm...I don't see them."

"Well I'm right here and maybe you'd have seen me if you'd stop flirting with your customers and did your job properly." You said and at this point you were seething because even though she knew you were right there, she hadn't spared you a glance and pretend like you were completely invisible.

"Oh, so that's who you are....I was wondering why such an ugly person would be hanging out with someone like him-" she pauses and looks into Izuku's eyes with a bored expression "-you need to raise your standards, I mean have you looked at how hideous their nose is or how ugly their face is."

The two of you froze. Sure You've always made fun of yourself before but this was the exact reason why. You've always told yourself that if you'd make fun of yourself, you'd be desensitized to what others say to you but it's only now you realize that no amount of preparation would ever be enough to handle the real thing.

Shame. Humiliation. Pain. Fear.....This is what you felt at the momen-

"How. Dare. You." You turned towards Izuku and for the first time ever you were met with the most terrifying expression on his face. His eyes were dark and he looked...mad....like really really mad and you froze, the cashier looked like she was about to cry with the look he was giving her.

"I don't know who you think you are but you had no need to say whatever you just said and you are wrong because they have the most gorgeous facial features ever." at this he turned to you and softened his eyes a bit, he reached for your hand and gave you a gentle squeeze.

"I promise you sweetheart, you will always be the most beautiful person in my life and no one can tell you otherwise-" he looked at the slack jawed cashier with disgust and pointed towards her "-not stupid people like her-" he looked back into your eyes like you were the only two people in the store and pointed towards himself "-not me and lastly never will you ever tell yourself those kinds of words again even as a joke, got it."

Always openly staring at you in the most respectful way ✨.

Even before y'all started dating he would always stare at you in secret, but hey! it's not his fault you were so irresistibly attractive all the time.

Uhm...so moving on, he is observant as heck especially when it comes to you but unfortunately he's just as oblivious T_T.

He's always noticed how you'd get shy and walk away whenever he'd stare at you for too long and genuinely thinks it's adorable at how bashful you get.

But truthfully.....you're mortified, paranoid even at how much he stares at you.

I mean yeah it's adorable to see him so whipped for you but you're always wondering if he's secretly bashing your side profile in his head and the thought makes you wince ever single time.

But you always tell yourself to not let your insecurities define Shoto or effect your relationship and besides Shoto isn't a cruel person, he'd never think of you that way.....right...?

Oh God, he's doing it again, he's staring at you and this time it truly is terrible because he is seated right beside you. The two of you are seated wooden chairs, side by side in the U.A. library.

Your textbooks and notebooks are spread out on the table in front of you. You're in a more secluded part of the library opting to study in a more private area and boy oh boy did Shoto take advantage of that.

"Shoto, could you please stop staring at me like that". You held your textbook upto your face and looked the other way.

"But I want to look at you". Shoto pouted slightly and furrowed his brows at your actions, he reached for your wrists and tried to pull them down and to much to your inconvenience, he succeeded.

You see, while you still had a bunch of work left to do, Shoto had finished about 15 minutes ago. You told him to go back to the dorms but instead of listening to you, he denied your offer and has been staring at you with the most unreadable expression on his face.

"Why can't I admire the one that I love the most". He slightly tilted his head towards the side and flashed you the most genuine smile. Damn him for being so adorable but that's not enough for your insecurities to go away.

"Because I'm ugly". You finally said softly with your head hung low and tears threatening to fall. You wanted to shrivel up in a corner and fade away for sounding so vulnerable but at the same time it felt so good to let your thoughts out.

"You're....what..." His eyes were wide and his jaw was set a slack. Now this took him by surprise, he had expected a lot of things but never once had he expected....that. He gently grabbed your chin and tilted your face to meet his. "Love, you're the most beautiful person I've ever met, why would you ever say that."

"Because I'm not beautiful, everyone has such a gorgeous face especially from their side. I don't and you don't have to lie to me to make feel better about myself. I know I'm ugly and I'll always be that....just let me accept that and be Shoto." You said with your voice slightly raised and shaky from the lump in your throat.

Shoto's eyes darkened a little and his grip on you tightened a little but not enough to hurt you. To even think that someone as precious as yourself could ever have such awful thoughts about yourself- how long have you been silently suffering like this all by yourself.

He cupped your cheeks with his hands and met your eyes with the most determined look on his face. "Darling, I don't know who said that to you or even if that's an inside voice but, I will absolutely never let you accept yourself this way."

"Everything about you is perfect, from those gorgeous eyes that i always get lost in," he kisses your eyes.

"-to that perfect nose that helps you breath so you could live by my side another," he kisses your nose.

"-to those delicate beckoning lips that I wish to kiss forever." he finally captures your lips in a breath taking kiss just to slowly release them and look at you.

"And besides, you know better than to call me a liar baby, you know that I would never lie when it comes to you so let's pack up for today and let me show you how much I love you and how utterly enticing you are."

[avungerthatgotaway]

The Soldier of the Night

heyyyy guys!! this is my first ever request fic and im so excited to do iiiit. please tell me what you think of it in the comments🥰

it's made for this request

summary: y/n finally takes matters into her own hands and escapes hydra. but it won't be as easy as she tought...

warnings: mentions of blood and child neglect

pairings: avengers x teen!reader (platonic)

genre: angst-ish, fluff at the end

Sorry for grammar mistakes.

If you have request feel free to ask🥰

----------------------------

Y/N Y/LN, but no one calls you by that name. To the world you are known as The Soldier of the Night, the merciless murderer. Mothers all over the world use you to teach their kids about most dreadful dangers. People gather around campfire in woods and share scary stories of your cold heart and homicides you don't feel guilty about. You are the biggest fear of each and every government there is in world.

And you always wonder what all those people would say if they knew how old you were. Or that you never kill willingly. Or that you silently pray every night for the victims you harmed or killed in your brainwashed state.

Or that hydra has no control over you anymore. You are currently running, without exact destination, just to get as far from hydra as you can. They are probably alerted of your absence by this point, but you are already in New York, so you can maybe find a hiding spot before they find you.

-

-Avengers pov

-

Nick Fury hurried to the avengers tower, where he called a sudden meeting this morning.

When he came in Steve and Sam were sweaty, probably just came from their morning jog. Bucky was still fighting sleep in his pyjamas, hair sticking out in different directions. Wanda was starring daggers at him for waking her up so early. Tony and Bruce were in lab coats, probably didn't sleep at all. All other avengers were at their respective missions.

"I called this meeting because my resources told me infamous Soldier of the Night is out of hydra HQ. We don't know why, but it's probably another killing mission for hydra. He is currently laying low, somewhere around south entrance to the city. Your mission is to stop him from harming anyone and bring him here. Alive if possible, it would benefit us to know what are hydra's plans at the moment." he finished.

"Alright." said Steve dutifully. "Any information we can get on him before we go?"

"Not much. Only that he is dangerous, and doesn't spare anyone. He is a ghost story. We don't even know if it's a he, that's just a guess."

"Very well. Everyone suit up, I expect you in front of tower in 10." Steve said and left, other avengers following behind.

-

They came back that evening, exhausted of their unsuccessful search. There was no trace of the soldier. But they had to keep looking as long as there's hope to get rid of the monster.

-

-2nd person pov

-

Your heart was racing a hundred miles. You were well aware of the possibility of hydra finding you. But you didn't expect it to be this soon. You were in hiding for only 2 months and they already tracked you down.

Windows broke on your left side and hydra agents started piling in. At the same time on your right side the door broke down revealing whole avengers team, with few additions. You faintly remember one of them as The Winter Soldier, but what was he doing with avengers? Your toughts were cut short by a punch in your face delivered by one of hydra agents.

That's when it snapped: you had to fight for your life. And you probably had to fight both sides.

You started fighting hydra agents, harming them as much as you can without killing.

The avengers stand at the doorstep, and you faintly hear one of them saying "What the actual fuck?". They seemed belivered.

But they soon join the fight knocking out hydra agents. A fist connected with the back of your head, knocking you out into pool of darkness.

-

Light clacking of bottles was the first thing you hear when you wake up. You squint your eyes open, panic finnaly kicking in to where you are. Your first tought was that you were back in hydra HQ, but the room was way too light for that, and hydra wanted you dead.

You started panicking and franatically got out of the bed, trying to escape. Whoever this is, they nean no good. Even avengers want to kill you. But as soon as you got up, black dots invaded your vision, causing you to fall. But before you hit the groung a pair of arms caught you, leading you to sit back in bed.

"Hey, hey sweetie calm down. No one will harm you here. Don't make any sudden movements, your head is still not completely healed." a man told you.

You just layed back and watched him bandage your wrist.

"I am Bruce Banner, by the way. What is your name?" he asked kindly.

"Y/N Y/LN" you whispered, almost inaudibly but he heard it.

"Alright, Y/N. I think I bandaged all your bruises. Rest of the team is waiting out, do you maybe want to meet them?"

By 'team' he probably meant rest of the avengers. You saw a big 'A' painted on the wasll, so that had to be it, right? You immediately shook your head no, eyes widening in fear. You still weren't sure they won't harm you, and meeting them seemed overwhelming in your current state.

"It's okay, calm down. You can meet them later. I will stay with you a little. We could talk if you want?"

You just shrugged your shoulders, not particularly fond of talking with anyone, but not wanting to seem rude because he did help you.

"Okay. How old are you Y/N?" he asked slowly.

"(your age)" you quietly said.

"Dear lord, you really are just a kid. I'm so sorry for everything you've gone through."

You just zoned out, thinking about everything that happened, when something poped up in your mind.

"Mr. Banner?" you asked shyly.

"Call me Bruce kiddo. What is it?"

"I tought I saw The Winter Soldier at the door when you guys came to get me?"

"Oh yes. Bucky. He was also in hydra, as you probably know. He was brainwashed. I suppose you were too?"

"I was, every time I killed somebody. Sometimes I went to missions with other agents and they didn't brainwash me, but I never killed anyone when I was in my senses." You started thinking about your victims as teers pooled in your eyes.

"We supposed so. Do you want me to bring Bucky in a little? Maybe he can help you feel better, because he knows what you're going through."

You slowly nodded, not wanting to reject meeting avengers the second time.

"Alright, he'll be here in a minute." Bruce gave you a gentle smile and patted your shoulder.

A minute after he exited, in came Bucky. He looked better than when you saw him last, but you doubted he's seen you. You were sneaking out, tryna find some food, when you heard and saw agents torturing him. That's about only memory you have of him, along with stories you've heard from other people.

"Hello there doll. How are you? Bruce told me you remember me." he said gently, sitting at the edge of your bed.

"I-I am alright, i guess. Th-thanks. And yes, I do. A little. I was passing by door, when I saw them torturing y-yo-you." you started sobbing a little, the memory bringing back others. Memories of them torturing you. And you torturing other people in your brainwashed state.

"Hey don't cry. It's okay, shhh. Come here." he opened his arms, and you hesitantly scooted closer, not exactly sure what he wanted. He circled his arms around you, and you flinched, thinking he's gonna attack you. But he just gently kept his arms wrapped around you, soothingly rubbing you back. after some time you wraoed your arms around his middle, still not sure what's going on.

But it was a nice feeling. You never felt something like it before. You felt so safe, like nothing could harm you as long as you two stay like that. You wanted to know what was all this about.

"Wha-at are you do-oing?" you asked after you stopped sobbing, but still hiccuping a little.

"Oh, I'm hugging you. Are you uncomfortable? I will stop if you are. Sorry." he said starting to draw back.

"No!" you quickly said, clutching onto him like koala. You were afraid the sense of comfort will leave you as soon as he withdraws from you.

"Shhh, doll. I won't let go. Never. Nothing will ever harm you here kiddo. We will take care of you. You can live normal life, like all other kids. Maybe go to school after you adapt to your surroundings. Here is a kid Peter he is about your age. You can make friends your age. And of course we will be your friends. For as long as you want it."

"Wait, I can live here? I'm not a burden?"

"No, of course not. Don't ever think that, please."

"B-Bu-Bru" you struggled to remember what Bruce told you his name was.

"Bucky. Or James, whichever you prefer kid."

"Oh okay. What are hugs Bucky?"

"Well I'm hugging you right now. You hug people ti show your emotions. Like comfort, thankfulness, happiness, love. It's what friends do."

"Wait wait wait. You never had a hug before?? Like ever????" a new voice boomed. It sounded genuine but way too loud. You flinched instinctively and hid your face in Bucky's shoulder. He tightened his hold on you for comfort.

"Can you be any louder Thor? And no she was practically raised in hydra, they don't exactly hug around." Bucky said.

"I am sorry, lady Y/N. For frightening you, and for my inappropriate question. I am Thor Odinson." he said coming closer to you.

"It's okay Mr. Thor. I'm Y/N Y/LN, nice to meet you." you said shyly.

"Oh it's lovely meeting you too. I came here because brother Stark asked me to ask you if our presence is wished upon now."

"Huh, what do you think, doll? Ready to meet 'em now? No pressure." Bucky quietly asked, only for you to hear.

You tought about it for a second, but if everyone is nice as three you already met, you'd like to meet them all. And with quiet "okay", Bucky nodded to Thor and he left to call the others in.

-

That night you layed in your bed, thinking of that day's events. You met everyone, since no one had missions assigned. They were all really nice to you. Even Loki, which surprised every avenger. You were not sure why tho, Loki was nice, and his voice was comforting. The Maximoff twins were really funny, and Tony already started making you your own room! Everyone else you've met was aweosme: Natasha, Clint, Steve, Sam and Rhodey. Peter was shy but nice, he promised to show you some good movies and he was belivered when you said you don't know what those are.

Bucky was still you favorite. He stayed the longest, promising to come and visit you first thing in the morning. You hoped he'll hug you again, you were quite fond of hugs now.

-

Few months passed since avengers saved you. Life couldn't be better at this point. You were home schooling, or rather preparing to go to real school next year. Peter already introduced you to his friends from school you are going to attend. You were training to become an avenger, and it was so exciting.

You were currently having breakfast tho, sitting in between Sam and Bucky who were bickering about one thing or other. Tony was dancing funnily while making pancakes, while Nat was trying to throw as many blueberries as possible at him. You heard Clint somewhere in wents above you, probably setting up a prank. You smiled to yourself. Even though you never knew love, or had a family until two months prior, avengers accepted you. They were slowly becoming your family, and you couldn't imagine your life without them. ;)

[alwaysfangirlingish]

Title: I’m a monster

Word count: 936

Pairing: Elijah Mikaelson x Fem!Reader

Prompt: “I’m going to take care of you, okay?”

Summary: You were Elijah's partner, you used to be a witch, but recently you were turned into a vampire by him. The truth is, you never liked the way the hybrid treated your boyfriend, so one day you faced Klaus and that ended in him wanting to take revenge for the hurtful things you said to him: He compelled you to make you turn off your humanity and forced you to murder your witch friends, who were conveniently people he wanted to get rid of.

Warnings: Mentions of death, violence, blood, panic attack.

PD: Si alguno de ustedes es de Argentina y les gustó el fic, y quieren apoyarme un poco, acá les dejo mi cafecito link: kolwithaheart <3 gracias¡!

A/N: This is my #February2021promptchallenge!! (Challenge created by my lovely mutual @hellotvshowtrash ) This was supposed to be a fluffy prompt and I made this more angsty than I expected lmao.

I also wanna thank my beautiful @mikaelson-emma for being my beta reader, for all her support and kind words 💖

Tag list: @theseuscmander​

(this gif isn’t mine)

The hot water fell on my skin, sliding down my body until it finally fell to the floor stained red, only to be swallowed down the drain. My hands slowly moved up my neck, arms, and torso under the shower. The silence in the bathroom was tearing me up inside, making me want to scream and throw everything around me. However, I was crying silently, cleansing my body of the blood that had stained it, while my heart seemed to want to leave my chest. My eyes remained closed, although the tears kept coming from them, knowing that if I opened them, I would not be able to stand another second.

The metallic smell filled the place, or so it seemed to me. I felt like I was drowning in it, no matter how much soap I put on my cheeks or all over my body, it just wouldn't go away. Suddenly breathing wasn't that easy when I remembered what happened, despite having been avoiding it all this time.

 My eyes snapped open, feeling like I was going to pass out any second. I turned my head so fast trying to get out of the shower that I lost my balance and fell to the floor. I tried to get up, but my legs didn't help me, so I finally took them in my arms and released all the terrible sobs that I had been holding on to all this time.

I was devastated. I was scared. I felt dirty. I felt I was going to die, just like they did. And I knew I deserved it. My arms were no longer stained with blood, but I had blood on my hands, anyway. My heart felt so heavy in my chest, and my eyes couldn't fixate on any specific place. I squeezed my eyelids shut, trying to focus on the sound of the water, but it stopped and arms wrapped around me.

I wanted to scream. I wanted to scream for him to let me go. I tried to scream to let him know I was a monster. I tried to scream for him to get away from me, believing I wasn't worthy of any comfort. Yet, I just hugged him back, not wanting to be alone, wanting him to save me from my sins.

“I’m a monster,” I said minutes after when I felt I could open my mouth and speak without fear of vomiting within the second of making a sound, “I’m a monster.”

“Please don't say that,” He whispered, stroking my hair, “You need to know this isn’t your fault,” He said in a sweet tone of voice, separating us and grabbing my head between his hands to look at me in the eyes, but I kept them closed.

“They’re dead because of me,” I said, slowly shaking my head, “I killed them with my own hands,” I sobbed, “And the worst part is that it felt... When I…”

“Y/N, this is Niklaus’ fault, not yours,” He said in a more serious tone of voice, caressing my cheek with his thumb.

“They begged me to let them live,” I said, feeling the tears falling down my cheeks, “And I didn’t care at all... I killed them as if they were nothing.”

“You didn’t have your humanity on, my dear,” He said, trying to make me feel better, but it didn’t work at all.

“You weren’t there, Elijah!” I exclaimed, now looking at his worried eyes and bringing my hands to my hair, tousling it, “They were my friends, my family, and I just ripped their bodies apart!”

I repeated the moment of their deaths over and over again inside my head without wanting to. Every part of the body that I tore, every drop of blood that I drank, every scream that I heard… Everything was there, including the disgusting feeling of pleasure doing all that, and it didn't seem to go away no matter how much I closed my eyes, how much soap I used, how much I hugged him, or how much I sobbed.

After a few minutes, he took me in his arms, carrying me to bed, wrapping a towel around my naked, still wet body to cover me. I sat on the edge of the bed, staring at the floor, feeling I was going to throw up. Elijah just sat behind me and dried my hair with another towel, to then gently pass the brush over it to untangle it.

“I don't have enough words to express how sorry I am that this happened,” He apologised from behind, “I hope you can forgive me, Y/N,” He said, getting up from his seat to find me comfortable clothes, “I love you, and I give you my word that I will help you through this,” He said when he knelt in front of me, grabbing my hand and kissed it gently, before helping me get dressed.

“I also give you my word that I will not let my brother get away with this,” He said, walking towards the door.

“Please don’t leave me alone tonight,” I said before he crossed the door, “I don’t deserve this, but I really need you right now,” I said, licking my lips, without looking at him.

“You deserve much more than my complete attention, my dear,” He said in a sigh, “I'm not going anywhere then,” He said, sitting next to me, “I’m going to take care of you, okay?” He said, leaving a kiss on my forehead.

The rest of the night we just cuddled in silence until I fell asleep in his arms.

[ilove-cedricdiggory]

Collide

George x Hufflepuff Reader

Summary - You and George have a few years difference, but have been dating sense your second year at Hogwarts. But, after he leaves during his 7th year without telling you and his letters stop coming, you assume a break up. After the war, you collide.

Trigger Warnings - Angst to fluff, cussing, panic attack.

Your hand burned with pain, drops of blood still seeping past your bandage and onto the floor as you sat in the Great Hall. You were sitting at your house table, not being allowed to sit with your boyfriend now that Umbridge was around. Not that you wanted to right now anyway. George was the absolute love of your life, your relationship two years strong now. The only problem is that George is overly protective of you.

It never bothered you, you actually loved it. He would make sure the stuck up students in the houses didn't pick on you, that you are properly, and, just recently, you didn't have to endure a punishment with the toad. He couldn't control this one though, seeing as how you had passed out some of your homemade cookies and she assumed they were Weasley products, meaning you broke one of the many new school rules.

You had tried to explain to her that they were normal, warm, homemade snickerdoodles, but you found yourself sitting at her desk writing 'I will not break rules' until it "sunk in". You knew George would just about hate himself if he was an extension of why you were punished - seeing as how she wouldn't have assumed they were prank cookies if you weren't dating George, but you didn't care either way. You loved him, more than anyone or anything (don't tell that to your muggle succulent sitting next to your bed).

George had been eyeing you all throughout dinner, getting Fred and Lee to trying to get your attention. Your hand was hidden under the table, and you waited until the three turned to discuss your mood to jump out of your seat and leave for the common room. You assumed they heard the door open, because right as the door began to close, you heard your boyfriend yell out for you, "Y/N!"

Your speed picked up, moving to the hufflepuff entrance, but his feet were more determined and his hand gripped your wrist, only, the bandaged on.

You hissed out in pain, pulling your hand from his as you eyed him. "When? When did she get you?" His questions were quick and to the point. "Right after you left to rush to potions. I was handing Laurence his batch of cookies and she thought they were..." you trailed off, not wanting to direct tell your boyfriend why you got punished. "She thought they were Weasley products. Shit, y/n, I'm so sorry."

You shrugged it off, not wanting to make it a bigger deal. "It's fine, love. It was bound to happen sooner or later." you reached up to kiss his cheek, but he took a step back. "Bub, it's really okay. Lindsey has some healing potion left over from when she brewed it last and she told me at dinner she's more than happy to give me some. I'll be all fixed up before bed." You reached for his hand, but he brought it to his pockets, nodding.

"Okay, well, get inside and get all fixed up please. I told Fred I'd let him know exactly what was going on with you, and he'll be worried if I don't go tell him." your eyebrows furrowed in confusion. "You usually wait until tomorrow to tell him, what's going on?" You were offended he wasn't going to come in and help you apply the potion, having done the same for him quite a few times.

"I really should get going. I'll talk to you soon." he left a very quick kiss on your hairline, moving to step back. "Okay? I love you." you stated firmly, but watched as he turned around and left you standing next to the entrance to Hufflepuff.

The next day, you found yourself running into the hallway with Ginny, watching as Fred and George tossed their fireworks up in the air and fly around the loose papers, laughing brightly. Fred's eyes met yours momentarily, but looked away quite quickly and moving with George to leave hogwarts in their dust, flying far away from you and all their classmates.

"What. The. Hell?" you turned to Ginny, your best friend, feeling your heart begin to rip. "Y/n, I have no idea. I don't know what just happened." Your breath was shakey as you nodded, moving to your room quickly to send him an owl.

Weeks past and you heard nothing from your boyfriend. Owls upon owls were sent his way, but nothing ever returned from him. You received one letter from Fred, but didn't open it. You didn't want to hear his version of his brothers excuse, you wanted it straight from your love. You wrote to Molly in confusion, but got a letter back with her own. She had no idea you and George had ended, confused with her son's actions.

During that summer, you still got nothing from him. You come to accept that the two of you were over, not even heading to the Burrow until the last week of summer, but your heart broke even more every time one of them looked at you with their sensitive eyes.

You found yourself fighting alongside everyone during the war, having seen their flashes of red hair once or twice. The only moment you had that was noteworthy, was the moment you stood behind the rubble, hearing Fred cry out, and quickly levitating the rubble off of him, conforming he was okay. As soon as you saw people coming to his assistance, you fled the scene, not wanting to speak with George about it.

You watched from across the room as the Weasley's hugged his body, crying tears of joy. Fred was still your brother, no matter if you talked to him or not. The last thing you would ever want was for the world to be without him. After the war was officially over, Voldemort long gone, you found yourself lost again. You wouldn't go to the Weasley's, you didn't know if Fred saw you help him and didn't want to speak to George about it.

You didn't go home, not wanting to try to explain to your muggle parents exactly what happened. Your feet lead you to the hufflepuff room, smiling as you entered it, feeling the warmth still seeping through it's walls.

You stayed behind, helping to rebuild the school. You still had a year left of schooling and you wanted to get as much time in Hogwarts as you could. But, sooner than you expected, you were officially graduated from Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Your grades immaculate and you quickly found a job in Herbology.

Your office was in Diagon Alley, working in one of the shops. Your job description being to assist students in their search for specific ingredients for potions, but also keeping the ones in the store to their best condition. After about a month, you were surprised that you still hadn't run into either of the Weasley twins, but you weren't complaining about it.

You had met with Ginny a few times for lunch, loving seeing her more than anything. You both were out, catching up on your week with each other. Listening to her go on and on about her love with Harry filled your heart. You were never upset with her for finding her true love when yours slipped through your fingers.

"Were thinking about getting a place of our own, y/n. Harry has been staying with us for the most part, having done it so often before we were together. Now, we might as well." You smiled widely at your best friend, loving how happy she was.

"Ginny, what are you doing here?" Your heart squeezed in your chest, hearing his voice. "Fred?" Ginny looked behind you at her older brother, smiling and standing to hug him. "I'm eating lunch with-" she cut herself off, not wanting to make you uncomfortable. She was the only one who knew about what you did for Fred and how you still felt about George, but never pushed you about it. She had been livid with her brother for leaving you the way he did.

"Uh, with me." You stood, turning to look at Fred. He had a few scars from the rubble that fell on him, but looked just like himself. "Y/N." he breathed out, his face lighting up with happiness. "Holy shit! I've missed you!" His arms wrapped around you quickly, pulling you to him and kissing your head. "Thank you." he whispered in your ear, holding you tighter.

You were confused at his thanks, but sharply exhaled when you realized. "You saw." you whispered back, feeling him nod. "Yeah, I looked for you for a year and a half to thank you sooner, but I couldn't find you. Ginny here wouldn't tell me where you were." You nodded, moving yourself from his arms.

"Yeah, I couldn't really bare to be around, you know." you whispered, looking at your feet. "Y/N, that's beside the point. You saved my life. You did. Even after what we did, even after how we both treated you without telling you, you saved me." This caused you to look up at the twin, who looked so much like George. You were always able to tell the difference, from the moment you met them. You didn't know how, but you could.

"Fred, you're my family. I would save you no matter what, just like you would me." You reached to brush some hair from his eyes, smiling.

"You did what?" It was now George's voice that filled your ears, causing you to turn around and look into his own eyes. "Nope, nope, nope, not doing this. Not ready." You felt your breath quicken, moving to grab your purse and kiss Ginny on her cheeks. "I'll owl you about next time. Bye." You put a few coins down for your lunch, seeing as it was your turn to pay, then moved past Fred quickly.

"Y/N!" All three of them called out for you, but you raced through the streets of Diagon Alley. You weren't immediately going back to work, not wanting them to know where it was. Your feet carried you past a building and into it's alleyway, your eyes clutching closed. This time, you outran him.

"Y/N." he whispered, standing in front of you. Or not.

"No, George. No. No, no, no." Your hands went to grip your hair, squeezing it. You had panic attacks before the war, George knew that, but they increased considerably after it. It had been a few days sense your last, but this one was coming on quickly.

"Hey, hey love, it's all right. I'm right here." He slipped your hands from your hair, moving them to your sides then hugged you tightly. One of the things he learned during your relationship was, holding you as tightly as he could, letting your senses fill with him, helped incredibly. While you wished they wouldn't this time, your body found itself calming down like it did each time in school.

"Hey, it's okay. Come on." He grasped your hand softly, knowing how tired panic attacks left you. Your body was still shaking softly, and you knew if you spoke, you'd be a stuttering mess. He lead you back around and into the shop, causing you to laugh at your own misfortune. Of course you'd try to hide behind his own building. He guided you into the foreign store, you not having stepped foot into it once. Before you had time to register the absolute wonder of it all, he had you upstairs into the flat and sitting on their couch. "Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate, I know we have some."

He had left you to walk into the kitchen, searching for their normal candy, not wanting to make you puke or cause your hair to turn orange. "Ah." he quickly moved next to you, protecting you like he used to as kids.

"George." you whispered after you calmed, keeping your eyes from his. "No, let me, please." He took your hand with one of his, the other guiding your head to look into his. "I was so, so, so idiotic. When you told me about your detention, I thought it was my fault. If you weren't dating me, she wouldn't have ever thought you were handing out products. Fred and I had already planned to leave, but I told him to move it up. I don't know how many times I wrote to you, but tore it up before I sent it. Then, during the war, I don't know how I didn't just walk up to you and keep you protected in my arms. It killed me to know something could happen to you and I wouldn't protect you from it. Now, I'm hearing you saved Fred. You protected yourself and him at the same time. I was an idiot to ever think that you couldn't protect yourself. I was an absolute git for leaving you like I did." you had hardly breathed while he spoke, your tears falling just as freely as his.

You nodded, kissed his cheek, stood up, and apparated home without a single word.

You sat in your own living room, breathing treatment done, your hair pulled up in a ridiculous bun, and your face mask sitting on your face. You had cried your eyes out for hours when you arrived home, but you couldn't let yourself be hurt by George Weasley again. You had your legs pulled up, a book in your hand, as you tried not to cry yet again. The whistle of your tea kettle brought you out of your own world. Setting your book down, you moved to your kitchen. After taking it off the heat, a owl flew into your kitchen, looking at you.

"Y/N, come to the burrow quick, it's Ginny." The words were scribbled in the handwriting of Harry, and you immediately apparated into the living room you spent so long in. Only, the lights were dim, the candles lit, and it just about silent. You heard a muggle record playing, and looked around the room.

"Ginny? Harry? Molly?" you called out, moving to the kitchen. Only, you were met with your ex boyfriend, standing there himself. "I don't know. I got a letter from Ginny saying mom was unwell." He spoke, looking around the kitchen. "I got one from Harry about Ginny." you said, but let out a screech of fear as the doors slammed shut.

"You're not getting out until you make up and promise me I get to be the maid of honor at your wedding." Ginny's voice filled the air, causing both of your eyes to widen. "I'm best man!" you heard Fred call out, causing you to let out a light laugh.

"Guys, let us out." George said, moving to the door. "No, make up, make out, make babies." Fred said, a smirk heard through his words.

George turned to you, looking into your eyes. "I know, were stuck." you said, laughing softly. You felt confused with yourself. While you were absolutely heartbroken with the man before you, you felt as comfortable with him as you did before. "I'm sorry I left you like that. You didn't deserve it." You spoke first, looking at him.

"I kinda did." he chuckled, scratching the back of his neck. "Yeah, you did." you said, looking into his eyes. "I'm so sorry love." He said, moving closer to you.

"George Weasley, I am beyond mad at you. I am beyond hurt with you. You broke me into tiny pieces. You were my protector, my best friend, and the love of my life, and you left me. Without a second look, you left me." You said, looking at him, letting your feeling spill from your lips. "You protected me from the one thing you thought I needed protecting from most, yourself. While you are a complete and utter git for it, I understand." you finally voiced your true thoughts to him, biting the inside of your cheek.

"While I will be so absolutely terrified you'll leave me again without a second look, incredibly insecure of myself every single day, the only thing I want more than anything is for you to kiss me again. And while I can't promise you marriage or kids like your family wants right now, I'm giving you a chance. But George, if you break me again, I will hex you so hard." You spoke, looking at the man.

He didn't speak a single word, but wrapped his arms around your face like he did oh so many times, and kissed you like his entire life depended on it. Collided your faces together, your bodies together, just like your souls did so many years ago.

You collided.

[mcyt-amber-tftsmp]

𝐈𝐭'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐅𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭... 𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐖𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐢𝐧 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨𝐥 𝐨𝐟 𝐘𝐨𝐮𝐫𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟... {𝐑𝐚𝐧𝐛𝐨𝐛 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫}

Request?: HeartsYeallow

Character: Ranbob

Side Character(s): Basically the rest of The Lost City of Mizu cast

Story-type: Starts out platonic but it's mainly Angst and a bit of fluff Romance but not too much

Story Length: 3455 words

AU or Not: AU of sorts but Ranbob being in his enderwalk when he went full-murder on the fishermen

Time Period: Future basically

Plot Summary: It the incident where Ranbob killed the fisher men but Y/n tagged along while the four were mostly exploring Y/n actually got to know Ranbob a bit then when Y/n saw he killed Cletus I believe she came to be uh scared but still knows hes not doing it and such, anyway time skip when its just Isaac, Charles and Y/n are the only one left alive and Ranbob trapped them but Y/n rushed her self to Ranbob and snapped him out of his murderous mind— and saving the others and she told the two to go ahead and leave Mizu and she'll catch up with and she talked to him and comforted him in a way

Small Info: Ranbob has the enderstate where he does things he doesn't know he does like the murders- and he didn't open up with anybody til Y/n come and her friends came to mizu also Y/N is like Isaac's little sister who's younger by two years with Isaac being 22 years old and everything else

Keywords:

Y/N = Your Name

Trigger Warning:

- Burning To Death Twice - Slight Blood - Small Panic Attack - Repeated Words - Mentions Of Death

Normal Warning: Cringey as heck-

--------------------------------------------------

Y/N's Point of View~

The only thing I could see outside while walking around the place was just water and the aquatic life going on with it's lives in water. Now people might be wondering, where the heck am I exactly? Well you see we are currently exploring an underwater city called the City of Mizu which happens to be the Underwater City of Beauty and they got the beauty part pretty much right!

Basically what happened is that my older brother, Isaac took me with his three friends to wherever they usually go until I found this book lying on the ground which talked about Mizu. So we basically decided to go over to explore the area and while doing so we met an enderman hybrid named Ranbob.

From what I know about him is that he's pretty socially awkward considering when he met us he was a bit nervous when he introduced himself and Cletus was practically making him uncomfortable by sniffing him or doing something which was annoying him. I would sometimes yell at Cletus to stop it saying that he's making him uncomfortable.

I mostly tagged along with Ranbob while Isaac, Cletus, Charles and Benji were exploring and walking around the place. I was able to get to know him a bit more which actually helped him talk to me freely without getting nervous or something.

He was actually a really nice guy even if he looked pretty intimidating and all. What I liked most was his heterochromatic eyes which on his right side was yellow and on the other it was purple. He was also pretty tall and handsome- okay moving on!

Yeah I may or may not have somehow fallen in love with him too. I don't know what it is but I guess I could say it was just us basically having a conversation together and getting to know each other so well and maybe it's his voice cause it's pretty calming and I like it. His voice is something I could fall asleep to if I wanted.

Right now we were just walking around in the library. My brother and his friends ran off somewhere looking through somethings while i was looking through names of books trying to see which one I could read and that was when a certain book caught my eye.

The cover of the book was black and it look slightly dusty like it hasn't ever been touched by anyone. I slowly took the book out of the shelf carefully so as to not accidentally make the other books drop from the shelf. I then dusted away the small dust particles as I looked at the book.

"The Enderstate?" I said in a small questioning and confused tone.

"I see you found this book." I heard a voice behind me which made me slightly jump as I looked to see it was Ranbob as I left out a huge sigh of relief.

"Oh it's just you and I did I guess? Do you know what's it about?" I asked as he stayed silent for a bit before he spoke.

"Well... How do I put this into words?" He said while looking pretty hesitant.

"The Enderstate or Enderwalk is similar to sleepwalking or dissociation, where endermen hybrids like me have little awareness of surroundings, and it may last for hours at a time. You could say that... we do things we don't intend on doing at times and we don't have control of ourselves in the process. You would have to knock or slap them back to reality... if it's possible." He said explaining as I listened though I did notice the slight nervousness in his voice which I shook off thinking it was nothing.

It was something pretty interesting to know considering I have never known about this. I eventually put the book back in its place as Ranbob continued with the tour. Later Isaac found small lever key which lead to a tree dome.

Isaac handed the key to Ranbob who led us down the hallway to a closed room. I saw Ranbob place the lever key in its place as he pulled it down as the door slowly opened to reveal a glass dome which consisted of a huge tree in the middle.

I stood awed as I looked at the tree. It was really beautiful. Isaac and his friends were just looking around the place as I stood in place but after a while I realized that Ranbob was nowhere near me. I didn't even know where and when he ran off.

I snapped back from my thoughts when I heard my brother yell as he pointed towards the tree saying that there is a chest on top of it. We were all trying to figure out on who would climb the tree to get the chest. We then decided that Cletus should go over to retrieve whatever was inside the chest.

As Cletus was about to go up, I heard Benji say something which made Cletus come back as they argued and Charles was trying to calm them down. I then heard Isaac say if I had seen Ranbob in which I shook my head since I had no clue where he was.

Then after a few minutes Cletus reached the semi-top of the tree saying he found the chest as he slowly opened it. Isaac asked what it said in their but then something caught my eye. I thought it was nothing but then I heard a voice which I recognized very well.

"People don't live after coming here. They die." I heard Ranbob said as he jumped down from God knows where as I noticed the fire on top of the tree.

"Is it on fire?!" I heard Isaac exclaim looking at the tree and looked at Cletus who was cornered at the edge of the tree.

Charles and Benji were telling Cletus to drop the book and to jump down but then I saw how Cletus was set on fire as Ranbob then pushed him back only for Cletus to fall to his death. I stood stunned and scared as I looked at Ranbob with fear but then I realized something.

What if he was in the enderstate? He wouldn't do this in general, right?! I had so many thoughts running through my mind but it was interrupted as Isaac grabbed my arm and ran out of the room. I was about to say something but he already pulled down the lever to trap Ranbob in the tree room.

Isaac read the book as he led us down to wherever we are supposed to go. After a few, we came to a room which had lava but there was something on top of the wall. Benji said that he would be the one to retrieve what was inside the chest as he jumped on the stone platforms as he slowly parkoured his way there.

I was too scared to look considering he was taking a huge risk parkouring over the platforms and if he accidentally missteps he will fall and burn in lava. I looked over at him to see he was doing fine and he was just two steps away from reaching the place.

But I may have spoken too soon cause I don't know what happened but Benji somehow tripped over the last step and fell towards the flowing hot lava. I saw Isaac running after him as he reached out a hand but it was too late. I choked back tears as I saw witnessed Benji burning to death. There was nothing we could do.

Then I saw Isaac give his books and other things he had to Charles saying that he was going to get to the top to retrieve the item in the chest. I widened my eyes. I couldn't lose him. He was the only family I had after our parents died.

"Isaac no! Please I can't lose you!" I said as Isaac gave me a hug.

"I will be okay just hold on for me okay. I promise." he said letting go as he took a deep breath and jumped onto the first platform.

I was shaking as he slowly parkoured over to the platforms. He looked pretty hesitant and scared knowing one wrong step and he will die. By the time I knew it he took the last step and reached the chest. I saw him take out something from the chest which looked like a lever key.

Isaac was saying that it was the final room key which could help us escape. Then he said that he was going to jump down from the slightly huge height as Charles said he would catch him. he took a deep breath as he jumped down and somewhat landed in Charles' arms as he fell backwards.

"Are you okay?" I asked as Isaac stood up only to slightly limp as I looked over at his foot to see that it was slightly bleeding.

"Not really but I will be fine. Are you alright Charles?" He asked looking over at the younger boy who nodded.

"Yeah just a little hurt in the head but overall okay." He said as he gave back Isaac's things as Isaac led us to the new room.

Isaac put the lever in it's place but stepped back a bit. I looked over to see he was looking really light headed as I helped him breathe as Charles helped. I could imagine that was very scary and the fact that we saw both our friends burn to death.

But I was still thinking if Ranbob was in his enderstate cause I don't think he would do something like this. Isaac told Charles to flip the switch but he then suddenly interrupted him form doing so as he said somethings.

"Okay I don't know what is in there but no matter what? We are gonna make it... For Cletus and Benji okay?" He said as Charles and I nodded.

Isaac then pulled down the lever as we entered the final room. The room was very unusual considering the amount of diamond armor was lined up on both sides of the walls along with diamond swords placed behind them.

The room was also decorated with green pillars and obsidian like walls. There were a few barrels and chests placed on the sides but they were all empty according to Isaac. Then he went over towards the white tiled steps which led to a glass window. I followed behind him to see what it was.

Behind the glass room was a marble statue of a man who wore armor and had a sword hung from the sides. The armor design was slightly hidden by the cape and he happened to wear a white mask. Charles then came up behind us to see what we were looking at.

"What the heck is that?!" He said as he looked at the statue.

"What is this...?" Isaac said looking at it.

"That is the weirdest thing I have ever seen..." Charles said.

"Looks like a cave." Isaac said as he looked over at a small opening from across the room which was definitely an exit.

I then heard small footsteps as I looked behind me to see Ranbob coming over with a netherite sword in his hands and he looked slightly dazed but I don't think anyone noticed that. I started to think this was something to do with the enderwalk state.

I looked over to see Isaac and Charles panicking like mad saying things about how he killed Cletus and all the other things that have happened recently. I seriously just stood and watched in shock.

"Everyone here had an idol that they worshipped. That's why the rooms were all themed like one of the idols from the past." He said stopping for a bit as Isaac spoke.

"Is yours Ranboo-" He was saying until he got interrupted.

"And mine was Dream!" He said I looked at him and then back at the window to look at the statue.

"Is that this man?" Isaac said coming towards the glass gesturing towards the statue as I noticed Ranbob coming towards us.

"Yes. Like I said nobody-" Ranbob responded in a monotone voice but was interrupted.

"Was Dream a good man?" Isaac asked slightly scared as he held onto my arm as Ranbob paused taking in his question.

"Yes yes he was a very good man..." He said as Isaac broke the glass as he stepped dragging me with him as he slowly let go but made sure I was near him.

"... Depending on what you think good is..." he said as Charles came in the room backing away from Ranbob who slowly came behind him.

"Nobody- nobody leaves here..." He said as I saw him coming slowly towards Charles.

"What do you mean nobody leaves here...?" he said as I saw Ranbob raising his sword and was about to strike Charles.

I couldn't let this happen so I broke into a sprint as I pushed Charles out of the way. I heard Isaac scream my name as I looked to see the sword about to hit me but I was quick enough to stop him as I grabbed him by the wrist with both my hands to stop him from hitting me but he was pushing back with a greater strength.

"Are you seriously asking for a death wish Y/N?! If so then that's what you will be getting." I heard Ranbob say as I felt my right arm burn in pain as I saw five claw marks as blood started to pool out from the freshly cut skin. I yelped in pain as tears welled up in my eyes but that didn't stop me.

"N-No... But I know the real Ranbob won't do this! Wake up! Just f***ing wake up Ranbob!" I yelled at him as tears streamed down my face as I made out the shocked expression on Ranbob's face.

I quickly kicked him on the knees with my foot as he lost his balance and that gave me the chance to punch him in the jaw as he fell to the ground slightly hitting his head first. I was at this point panting and breathing too hard. I thought I was going to die.

I looked over at Charles and Isaac who were shocked and confused. Then I looked at the sword as I kicked it out of sight. Then I heard a small groan as I looked over to see Ranbob slowly sitting up as he rubbed the side of his head with his right hand.

"W-what happened? Where-" He stopped himself as he had a look of realization as he noticed the netherite sword on the side and the fresh claw marks on front arm.

"D-did I-I... What did I do...?" He said looking pretty scared.

"What do you mean 'what did I do'?! You literally killed Cletus and nearly killed-" I heard Isaac yell as I stopped him.

"Isaac stop! He was enderwalking! He wasn't in control of himself and didn't know what he was doing!" I yelled back which made him stop as he in shock.

Then I heard heavy breathing beside me to see Ranbob looking down on his knees while his hands were over on the side of his head. He looked like he was having a panic attack and this made me worried.

"No no no no no no no. Not again not again not again. Please no I can't..." I heard him whisper repeatedly as he was in tears.

I looked over at Charles and Isaac who seemed to look at him in slight pity and worry. I knelt down to Ranbob's level as I put a gentle hand on his left hand hoping it would clam him down. I then looked at the two.

"Isaac? Take Charles with you and go ahead. I will catch up to you guys later." I said and I could tell Isaac was going to protest but Charles put a hand on Isaac's shoulder as he stopped and went over leaving both me and Ranbob alone in the room.

"Ranbob? Please look at me..." I said as he was still in tears as he slowly looked up but didn't make eye contact with me. He looked so broken that it made me want to cry.

"Ranbob calm down... it's alright." I said trying to reassure him but it seemed to make him upset.

"How is this okay Y/N?! I killed one of your brother's friend and the other died trying to help you guys get out and I nearly killed Isaac and Charles in here! I hurt you and nearly killed you!" He yelled out in frustration as he broke down in tears again.

I gave him a huge hug as he wasted no time to hug me back as he buried his head in my shoulder as i could feel it getting wet due to his tears. How long has this been happening? Was this the reason he was very nervous when he met us? He was scared that he would kill us.

"It's not your fault... You weren't in control of yourself..." I said as I could feel him lift his head as he looked at me.

"How can it not be my fault when I hurt and nearly killed the one girl I loved the most!?" He exclaimed as I looked at him shocked after hearing what he said.

He... loved me...? I didn't know what to say other than blush at his words. I looked at him to see his head down as he was scared to look at me thinking I was not going to return my feelings. I understood why he might be thinking this considering the things he has done. I hugged him back as he flinched at my sudden action.

"It's okay Ranbob... I love you too. It's okay." I said and I could tell he was in shock from my response not even expecting it.

He then slowly pushed me away form the hug as he made him face me and then he slowly leaned as he connected his lips with mine, kissing me. I slowly kissed back as I used my hands to slowly move away the tears from his face.

We gradually pulled away as he gently pressed his head against mine while I had my hand on the side of his head. I hated seeing anyone sad especially Ranbob. We sat in silence as we stayed in the same position.

"Please don't leave me..." I heard him choke out as I let out a small sigh.

"I promise i won't... I will always come back to you..." I said closing my eyes as we continued to stay the way we were.

"Things will get better for you Ranbob." I finished saying.

I prayed things would get better. I know they would!

I believe in him.

I love him so much for this.

--------------------------------------------------

[katblu42]

Tie Me to the Moon

Installment 4 (of 5) in my Whump Wheel spinning experiment. This spin was for John and gave me Cuddling For Comfort and Cemetery.

It is another Young Tracys fic, but it requires some WARNINGS as it deals with grief/mourning, funerals and of course a cemetery. I'm also tagging for social anxiety, sensory overload and panic attack, although I'm not entirely sure exactly what I'm putting John through. If there's any additional warning or tag I need please let me know (or if these ones don't hit the mark).

Possibly more angst than whump.

The day started early. Scott had spoken with John and Virgil the night before about how much he was relying on them both to help get Alan and Gordon ready, since Grandma and Dad would both have a lot on their plate. So, John had set the alarm for 6am to give them time to wake themselves up before tackling the tinies.

By 9am all five boys were awake and fed and dressed in their Sunday best, shoes shined and hair combed awaiting final inspection before the cars arrived to take them to the church. Normally it would have been Dad who inspected the troops before such an important occasion but, like many other things over the last week or so, today the job was taken on by Scott. He left no stray hair or speck of lint unscrutinised, while their father was barely able to do more than glance at his boys and give Scott a pat on the shoulder as he passed on his way out the front door.

Scott decided it would be best if he went in the lead car with Dad. It was the one that had been fitted with the kiddie seats for Gordon and Alan, and Scott could sit between them and keep them settled. That left John and Virgil to ride in the second car with Grandma. The car trip was mostly silent, but Grandma told them they both looked very smart and did her best to smile despite clear indications she was holding back more tears.

As they neared the church it was impossible not to notice the large number of parked vehicles, some still offloading passengers. John let out a large sigh as their car pulled up in front of the chapel. The soft murmurings and general bustle of the gathering crowd penetrated their insulated little bubble even before the driver opened the door to let Grandma out. Virgil waited until he’d caught John’s eye and received a nod before opening his door so both boys could exit on the same side of the car.

The kindly young driver from the funeral home seemed to be keeping most of the well-meaning mourners at bay as the family gathered and were solemnly led into the church and ushered to the front pew. John tried to focus on the flowers, the quiet organ music, the soft glow of sunlight filtering through stained glass rather than the coffins or even the photos of Mom and Grandpa, and definitely not the endless stream of people filling the rows of seats behind them. It was a slightly tight fit getting all seven of them in the one pew, even with Alan on Dad’s (and later Scott’s) lap, but John was glad of the warm press of Virgil on his left and Gordon on his right.

The service was a simple, no-frills affair with the Minister officiating, but friends and family doing most of the talking. John listened through Dad and Grandma retelling stories he’d heard before, but there were little details revealed that he had never known. The anecdotes shared by the others who stepped up to the pulpit microphone – one of Grandpa’s farming neighbours, and an old friend of Mom’s from school – almost felt like stories about other people. It didn’t feel like they were talking about the people John had lost.

For John losing Grandpa was like a constellation of stars going missing from the night sky. It was Grandpa that had told him people are all made of the same stuff as the stars. He had been a quiet, watchful presence in his life, providing light and joy whenever he looked up and saw that twinkle in Grandpa’s eye. Like Ursa Major and Polaris, Grandpa was always there guiding him, giving direction when needed, but never wanting to overstep or overshadow his parents. Not the brightest light in his orbit, but an important, comforting presence that meant John always knew his place in the world.

Mom had been the sun at the centre of his life, his family, his everything. Without her all the light and warmth was gone from the world. Instead of a regular (though slightly wonky) orbit his world now felt like it was tumbling through space and gravity was constantly shifting. One moment he was too heavy to move and the next he was so light might be flung out into space. Night and day and seasons, years and everything he measured his life by had been connected to his Mom – waking him and tucking him into bed, making sure he dressed warm enough or wore sunscreen or had his raincoat, keeping track of birthdays and holidays and school excursion days were all her.

During the service no one spoke of Mom and Grandpa like that.

There was music. One of Mom’s favourite piano pieces. Virgil had wanted to be able to play it today, but hadn’t been able to bring himself to even sit at the piano, much less play at all since the accident. So a recording had been found and it was played as a backing track to the slideshow that flickered through image after image of happy memories telling part of two life stories.

There were prayers. Reassuring words from the minister about heaven and God’s love, and the love we should all share with each other. John wasn’t sure exactly how he felt about heaven, or God calling Mom and Grandpa home to his kingdom.

There was a poem read out by one of Mom’s work colleagues. It was something about not crying or being sad because they were gone, but being happy because they had lived. Many of the people in the room were obviously ignoring the advice – his immediate family included. There were a good many wet handkerchiefs and tissues in hands, a great deal of suppressed sobs and eye rubbing, and a few sleeves swiped across cheeks before the service was over.

Scott and Dad were among the pall bearers who carried the coffins out of the church and onto the waiting machinery that would take care of their final movements. John and his brothers and Grandma were the first of the mourners to follow in the sombre procession. Only a small number of people were permitted to follow the hovering gurneys across the grass and through the little cemetery to the waiting square-sided pits. Just family and a few close friends to witness the way the machinery slowly and smoothly lowered each coffin down into the earth, hear the minister recite the final ritual words, and each place a flower or a sprinkling of dirt atop the coffins in a last goodbye.

The rest of the large crowd had been encouraged to make their way into the Sunday School hall where the wake was to take place. Refreshments had been generously laid out on the tables inside. More photographs of both lost loved ones were on display throughout the room, along with so many more flowers and a large number of cards. But many of the people in attendance that day were still milling about outside the church buildings when John and his family returned through the cemetery for the wake.

John’s feet dragged as he approached the gentle hubbub of mingling friendly faces with sympathetic expressions. He could pick out people he knew well if he let himself concentrate, but the sheer number of individuals he was heading towards was a little overwhelming. They didn’t make it inside the hall before the onslaught began. Almost everyone wanted to say something, speak of sympathy, tell a story, offer “any help you need.” So many wanted to reach out, hold a hand or squeeze an arm, some came in for full-on hugs, cheek kisses and loud, teary exclamations of how sad it all was.

John lost his Dad and Grandma to the throng faster than he thought possible, but before he could be swept up in it himself he was thrown a lifeline. There was a familiar presence by his side, a brush of hand against hand, or specifically pinky against pinky – a request and an offer. John grabbed hold of Virgil’s hand and held fast, tethering himself to his brother like an anchor.

He wasn’t entirely sure how it had happened or how long it had taken, but eventually they all made it inside the Sunday School hall. John was only aware of Virgil’s hand in his, the rest was a blur of faces, voices, bodies. Virgil dealt with anyone who stopped them to offer their personal condolences, listening to what they had to say and responding politely but managing to keep the interactions brief and shielding John from most of the attention. Somehow they made their way to a cluster of chairs where Grandma and Dad were seated, Alan in his father’s lap, still accepting condolences from well-wisher after well-wisher.

John was aware of sweat beading on his forehead as Virgil told him to take a seat next to Grandma for a bit, and then his brother disappeared into the crowd to go and fetch Grandma a cup of tea. He wiped sweaty palms on his trousers as he tried to look around the room. His eyes fell on Scott standing a few feet away, taking all the sympathetic social interactions in his stride, nodding, smiling, shaking hands, accepting embraces.

John’s mouth was dry and he wondered if he could make it across the room to grab a drink from the trestle table against the wall, but there was a sea of bodies he’d have to negotiate in between. For a moment his vision blurred and the vague images of people swam in a dizzying fashion before he could find something to focus on. Alan had obviously grown tired of the hair ruffling and cheek pinching and wriggled free of his Dad’s grasp, and was now trying to run through the small gaps between grown up pairs of legs. Gordon was keeping an eye on him – in between snaffling more cakes and cookies from the food table. John watched the terrible two until they were obscured by too many featureless figures.

Despite the late-winter-cool of the day, the church hall felt uncomfortably warm. The large space with its vaulted ceiling, tall, wide windows and polished wooden floorboards felt dark and gloomy and so very crowded. And the non-stop undercurrent of murmuring voices appeared to build in an unbearable crescendo John could not shut out. Too many bodies, too many voices, too much, too close . . . he needed space, he needed air, he had to get out!

Virgil saw his brother get up and hurry a little unsteadily to the exit as he came back with Grandma’s tea. He tried to keep an eye on the red-head so he could follow, but he had to excuse himself to Grandma and Dad, make his way over to Scott, politely interrupt the conversation and whisper in his big brother’s ear.

“John’s bolted. I’m going after him.”

Scott acknowledged with a nod as his eyes darted to the door, already closed again after John’s escape. Virgil wasted no more time in following, but once outside it took him a moment to figure out which direction John had taken.

John had no particular destination in mind, he just needed to get away. His feet carried him across the gravel driveway and through the grass without him registering the change of surface. He ran through the little cemetery without seeing the tombstones he passed, slowing only when he approached the boundary marked with a low stone wall before a neat, tall hedge. Unable to go any farther he turned and wobbled dizzily. His vision narrowed leaving dull blurred impressions of light and shadow. He heard nothing but the pounding of his heartbeat in his ears, and he sank down to the ground, sitting heavily, knees bent and pulled up towards his chest. He scrunched his eyes tightly closed and slammed his hands over his ears, trying to block it all out.

Virgil approached slowly, but without trying to hide the sound of his footsteps. He lowered himself to sit facing John, resisting the strong urge to reach out and touch him. Seeing his brother in such distress clawed at his heart. He couldn’t let him struggle through this alone.

“John?” He kept his voice quiet and hoped he could be heard despite the hands staying firmly pressed against ears. “I’m here with you. Just me. No one else is around.”

There was no noticeable response.

“If you can hear me, I need you to try and slow your breathing down a bit, John. Deep breath in,“ and Virgil inhaled, ��and out nice and slow.” Virgil waited for a second, watching John’s shallow, ragged breathing for any change. “In,” another inhaled breath, “and out.”

As Virgil continued repeating the instruction like a mantra John’s breathing gradually began to even out into slower, deeper, more controlled breaths. He wasn’t sure, but he thought John’s vice-like grip over his ears might be relaxing a little too.

“You’re doing great, John. Keep focusing on your breathing. Keep listening. Hear the breeze whispering through the leaves? Did you hear those birds?”

John did hear the cry of a bird overhead, and an answering call a little farther away as his hands drifted away from his head. As he lowered them to limply rest on the ground beside him he heard a gentle gust of wind rustle the hedges, and he registered that it did indeed sound a bit like a whisper.

“The sun’s broken free of the clouds. Can you feel it on your face, John? Can you feel the wind in your hair? You do realise there’s dirt and leaves beneath your fingertips, right?”

John turned his focus where his brother’s voice directed it, feeling the warmth on the left side of his face, and the breeze toying with his hair. There was indeed leaf litter and slightly damp dirt beneath his flexing fingers.

“If you’re ready to open your eyes you’ll see the moon’s out. I like the way the moon looks in the day. Against the blue of the sky the shadows make it look almost see-through.”

Translucent. That would have been a better word for what Virgil was trying to say. The thought flitted through John’s mind as he let his eyes drift open and scan the sky until they latched onto the gibbous moon framed by scattered cumulous clouds. He was also aware there was irony in the way his brother was effectively using the moon to anchor him, to bring him back to earth and ground him in the here and now.

Virgil had stopped talking, leaving the wind and occasional twitters and cries of the birds to fill the silence as John watched the clouds dance around the moon. He could feel his brother’s eyes on him almost as tangibly as he could feel the damp earth he was sitting on and the cool stone of the wall at his back. Now feeling much calmer he took a deep breath and brought his gaze down from the sky to meet the concern and compassion contained in those warm, brown eyes.

“Welcome back.” A hint of a smile played across Virgil’s face as he spoke.

A quiet moment stretched between them. No words spoken, but information passing from brother to brother through eye contact alone.

Content that John was no longer caught in a spiral he couldn’t escape on his own, Virgil glanced over his shoulder towards the Sunday School hall.

“I should go back, but you can stay here if you want. I’ll come and find you when it’s time to go. Just don’t wander off or anything.”

John didn’t speak as he chanced his own glance back toward the ongoing wake. Then, as Virgil made a move to get up and leave, John reached out and grabbed his wrist.

“Stay. Please?”

Virgil stopped and stared first at the fingers digging into his wrist, then into pleading, desperate aquamarine. He simply nodded and adjusted his position so he was sitting next to John, their shoulders touching. John loosened his grip on Virgil’s wrist but didn’t let go, so John’s arm looped around his knees and Virgil’s arm crossed his body to keep the connection. There was an almost imperceptible hesitation, but then simultaneously John leaned in towards his brother and Virgil wrapped his arm around John, pulling them into a secure embrace.

John finally let go of Virgil’s wrist, bringing his arm in close, grabbing a fistful of Virgil’s suit jacket and snuggling closer into his brother’s chest. This enabled Virgil to employ both arms in the hug. John rarely cuddled up like this with anyone, but all the times he could remember doing so were with Mom. His next intake of breath hitched at the realisation, and Virgil held a little tighter. The threat of tears pricked at the corners of his eyes, and he was grateful that, while not the same as a cuddle from Mom, he was still able to find this level of safety and comfort in the arms of someone who loved him.

“I want her back,” he sobbed, letting the tears flow and drip onto Virgil’s jacket.

“Yeah. Me too.”

John heard the tears in Virgil’s voice, but he already knew his brother felt the same absence in their hug.

Neither boy could say how long they stayed out there, huddled together, holding tight while hot tears streaked their cheeks. Time may as well have stood still for all it mattered. Nothing else was important, just the feeling that this moment, however sad, was there’s alone to share until Scott came and found them to tell them it was time to go home.

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

Hello! Forgive me if you already did this and I accidentally skipped it on the masterlist haha. May I request some of the SDR2 cast (I would love if you included Hajime and Akane in it but you don't need to ofc!) with a gender-neutral SHSL Plague Doctor S/O and maybe they surprise them with a Plague Doctor plushie and the Plague Doctor S/O ADORES it? Sorry if I'm being super specific fahhfsi

Wait woah I LOVE PLAGUE DOCTORS. Also I figured that some can give a plushie, while others can give an item that resembles a plague doc in some way!

.........

Hajime

During his free time with you, he was intrigued (tho at the same time grossed out) by all the things plague doctors did to treat their patients.

Even so, you found your way into his heart--despite him being a mere Reserve Course student.

He sees just how scary you are when defending him (especially when Nagito mocked him for being talentless during the Killing School Trip).

He feels like he owed you for standing up for him.

So he commissioned Kazuichi to make you a mechanical bird with the likeness of a plague doctor.

You find it in your mailbox one morning and immediately rush to his cottage to hug him.

Teruteru

“You know if you’re feeling hot and sweaty under all that garb..you can always take it off. I won’t judge~”

Of course he finds you flattering even though you’re always cloaked, complimenting your body.

If he goes too far though, you’ll be sure to jab him with your cane as a warning.

When that first happened, he felt really bad about making you uncomfortable.

So he decided to make you a bento box, with the rice and other ingredients being in the shape of a plague doctor mask.

It’s probably the best bento box you’ve ever eaten in your entire life.

You forgive your chef bf with a kiss, and he’s right back on cloud nine.

Gundham

You’ve become closer to Gundham more than anyone.

Probably bc he sees you’re protected from the “poison” that he apparently had in his flesh.

So he didn’t mind holding hands with you when you two started dating.

You’re both just a perfect match: dark aesthetics, interest in the supernatural, and animal lovers.

You teach him about your old ways of curing illnesses, and he listens with awe and fascination.

He wanted to give you something as a symbol of his eternal gratitude.

So when he came across a plague doctor plushie online, he believed it was the perfect offering for you.

And he was right.

It sits on your shoulder all the time now, just like how one of his Dark Devas do.

Mikan

Despite you two having vastly different ways of treating patients (with her methods more modern and yours more traditional), she still loves you a lot.

She's grateful that you easily scare Hiyoko away whenever she bullies her. All you gotta do is wear your mask and she runs away crying.

Mikan herself finds it scary, too, but..also cute???

She's conflicted.

Though she’s scared of you mentioning any leeches, so you stopped doing that and only threatened to throw some at Hiyoko.

One day Mikan tries surprising you with a plague doctor plushie, just a small token of her endless appreciation for you.

Only to, of course, trip and fall into your arms while the plush ended up in a puddle.

She’s understandably upset and starts crying, but you soothe her and pick up the soaked plushie with a smile.

You let her know you appreciate the gift...then it's happy tears from the timid nurse that follow.

Nagito

"Oh, I understand why you still wear that attire....I'm surprised more people don't when they're around someone as disgusting as me-"

You’re a little irritated he always says that, as you know it’s far from true. But you have a lot of patience.

One day you roll up to class without your mask, and Nagito stares at you like you’re a whole new person.

But he compliments you, though you stop him before he compares your appearance to himself.

You’re always so kind and patient with him--and you’ve had your fair share of people dying around you.

He doesn’t quite know how to thank you for just..being there for him.

So he buys you a plague doctor plush. Even though he keeps doubting you’ll actually want it.

After a series of unfortunate incidences, he finally manages to give it to you.

Seeing the smile on your face was worth all the bad luck he endured.

Impostor

Like them, you never reveal your face often.

They understand why, but one day they decide to make a deal with you: they'll reveal their true self if you do the same.

So you agree.

And wow...you're absolutely stunning beneath the mask. They love you even more now! 

Though if you ever need to put it back on, they won’t judge. They’re just happy you were comfortable with them.

However they had another reason they wanted to see your face...and it was so they could surprise you with a small plague doctor plushie they ordered online.

Seeing your smile made them chuckle.

Adorable indeed.

Kazuichi

Has a panic attack every time he sees you wearing the mask.

Even though he knows it’s you he just freaks out.

You reluctantly leave it off around him.

And of course he’s gonna compliment you every chance he gets.

On your one month anniversary of dating, he makes you a wind-up toy of a plague doctor. 

It’s even got a cane that moves up and down, as well as a lavender-scented air freshener built into the beak!

You love it to death and call it adorable.

Though Kaz only replies,“well not as adorable as the real deal~"

"......w-was that a good line? Please tell me it was-”