#also february is almost over and I'm scared

[ministarfruit]

day 24: “got into your nerd activity because I love you” ♡

(prompt list for femslashfeb)

[insanermin]

Hey i just read your fanfic "and still i answer your call when she doesn't answer at all". and i loved it, i wonder if you could maybe make a part 2 if you have time, And if you want too. And ofcourse, you dont have to do it or rush it

hi! thank you sm <3 yes ofc i can, haven't written in a hot minute so;

and still i answer your call when she doesn't answer at all, part 2

pairing: ellie x fem!reader

warnings: toxic relationship, cheating, nsfw, curse words, soft?? ellie but highkey salty, not proofread yet again, lesbian sex <3, and also first time writing smut plsplspls have mercy on me, xoxo

word count: 3,9k

summary: you visit ellie again to thank her for comforting and taking care of you, but things take a different course when your 'girlfriend' texts you. or; ellie eats you out.

as warm tones start to set into the blue sky, february doesn't seem so cold anymore.

all your worries were washed away, all thanks to ellie. after you stormed to her place at the most vile hour, ellie took good care of you, the two of you watched your favourite movies until you fell asleep and she prepared you some breakfast before you had to leave for work. guilt resides in the pits of your gut, your gratefulness has never left the four walls of your mind, it is time you finally thank ellie for everything she has done for you these past few days.

you spent the whole day in bed, sulking away while thoughts of your girlfriend cross your mind. you reach for your phone, no message from her.

as you take steady steps to your closet you realise that there's no turning back now. you've made up your mind, it is over. but you needed good advice from a very good friend, surely ellie would have all the answers to your questions. flicking through all the clothes in your closet, memories of your girlfriend start to occupy your mind. the dress you wore on your first date, the hoodie she bought you on a rainy november day, the graphic tee you wore the first time she made you cry, and all the other clothes that witnessed you being miserable because of her. it had to end, now.

all dressed up now, you wash your face, washing the smudged mascara from yesterday's crying away. lately your emotions have been all over the place but you told yourself it is better to feel them rather than bottling everything up.

ready to leave, you text ellie a simple 'i'm gonna stop by your place' shortly regretting that you didn't text her earlier. but to your luck she replies almost immediately.

'sure, have you eaten?' the words circle your mind. you don't know whether you're impressed by the fact that she answered so quickly or that she potentially knew you haven't eaten a single thing yet.

'no' you reply, slipping your phone into your pocket while fishing out your keys that you mindlessly put in your pockets before locking the door.

you step outside and cold wind is blowing your way. the sky has already lost itself in complete darkness, but the clouds haven't shied away, surrounding the moons light.

ellie is just as nervous as the last time you were here, although now she had something to keep herself busy with: cooking.

keeping it simple, because she's too scared to mess up, but not too boring, ellie doesn't want you to think that she can't cook.

a dilemma she might never escape, because she knows you don't overthink any of your actions towards her. but should she really be thinking about this right now? ellie tries her best to feel somewhat content that you're coming over. however, knowing that she is one-sidedly overthinking her actions, caring for your needs and, well, liking you, she can't help but feel like burning this entire kitchen down instead of cooking a nice meal for the two of you.

"shit," ellie groans as she feels the blade digging into her fingertip. this for sure wasn't part of the cute scenarios she just made up nor was it part of her plan to burn this kitchen down. ellie rushes to find a plaster, a bandage, anything to put on her finger.

the door rings, ellie rushes to the door, heavy footsteps echo and bounce off the stairwell walls. the sound of you felt like a mixture of butterflies and sour lemons in her guts.

and there you stand, right in front of her. something in the fresh evening air must've altered your brain chemistry, because why do you feel her eyes linger? and why do you want them to? your emotional imbalance is surely to blame, you most definitely lack attentiveness and consideration. ellie lightly clearing her throat interrupts your almost driving you to insanity monologue, your eyes now drawn to her body.

has your friend's arms always looked this big? she's just wearing a plain white t-shirt, but you can't seem to stop yourself from tracing the strokes of her tattoo with your eyes. soft hello's were exchanged before ellie offered to take off your jacket. the outfit you picked out today and deemed too light for your own comfort suddenly became ridiculously warm.

"how have you been?" ellie asks, making her way to the kitchen as you awkwardly stand in the hallway trying to cool down.

"better? uh, do you mind if i change?" your voice breaks a little, you lightly chuckle to cover your discomfort.

ellie shakes her head, her whole attention directed towards the plates she's trying to decorate nicely with the food she has just made. truth is, she's trying her hardest not to think about you changing, about your bare, soft skin, about—

"oh my god," it emerges from ellie's bedroom, ripping ellie out of her mildly inappropriate thoughts. she was so sure that she cleaned her room well, even checked multiple times and every corner, what on earth did you find? she fiddles with her hands as she walks towards her bedroom, door slightly open. the auburn haired woman doesn't believe in god, but on this very day, she is making all kinds of prayers, hoping for the best. ellie opens the door and seeing you sit on her bed with your phone in your hand is surprisingly disappointing.

you watch her stand at the doorframe, her arms crossed, flexing her buff arms. you can't ignore her furrowed eyebrows, but when ellie notices the concern written all over your face she mouths a low 'what happened?'

you turn around your phone for ellie to read the text message your girlfriend just sent you.

'hey baby, can we talk? i'm really sorry' ellie reads in her head. she definitely prayed for all the wrong reasons, because this is exponentially worse than anything she feared just a minute ago.

"why are you showing me this?" she asks, her voice low. she's still standing in front of you, looking down on you. her gaze on you makes you feel things you haven't felt in a long time. but your girlfriend just texted you and is apologising for her actions, you need to focus. but something about the way her eyes are locking you in is making it a little harder to breathe.

you take a deep breath, you need oxygen to clear your head.

"well, i came here because i needed advice—" you carefully watch ellie approaching you slowly.

"—i wanted to end things with her but—" you thought you were attentive enough but you're taken aback by ellie's big hands resting on your thighs, her face dangerously close to yours. you steal a small glimpse at her tired eyes piercing you through before continuing. her being so close causes your breath to shorten, you're hoping your all that she can't see your chest lifting.

"—she apologised now, so we're good," you say. ellie's eyes widen in disbelief, slightly tilting her head.

"are you serious?" she scoffs, her eyes shut close before searching for answers in yours. you nod and watch ellie drop her head in disappointment, followed by several scoffs and sighs.

"no you're not," she says under her breath, disappointment slowly spiralling into exasperation. ellie can't tolerate this any longer. whether it is your dumb decisions or your inability to see your worth, she won't take this anymore. and it might be selfish to get angry at you for not seeing her more than just a friend, but she did decide on a whim while cooking that this is the day where she finally tells you. however the manner things are progressing for now seem to be reaching a dead end.

"i have to reply though," you mumble, but ellie's furrowed eyebrows insinuate you to feel insecure about your decision.

"you don't," ellie says, as an auburn hair strand looses itself from her split ponytail. her arm reaches for your phone, but you hold it up by reflex, you didn't expect her to grab for your phone. however, you forget that you're the one sitting and she'd just have to stand up straight to get your phone, so you rapidly throw your back onto the mattress, arms far away, she surely won't be able to get your phone now.

"fuck, you can't be—" ellie hesitates, and you smile triumphantly, until you feel something weighting you down. your eyes widen in realisation, did ellie just climb on top of you? your body's brush now and then against each other while she's trying to reach for your phone. you're about to turn to the side when you feel ellie's strong hands hold your wrist down, making it impossible for you to move. for a minute, you forget why you wanted to turn away as you loose yourself in her sage green eyes. and that's when realisation hits you, you're under her, at the mercy of her big, strong arms. ellie doesn't keep eye contact for long, her eyes are fixated on stealing your phone, your eyes are focused on her jaw line. you're being held down, her knees restricting your upper body from the sides, her chest alarmingly close to your face. your grip around your phone softens, your too distracted by her presence pressing and holding you down.

you hear ellie whisper a 'finally' before you're eye to eye again. ellie was too busy taking your phone away and only notices now how close the two of you are. your chests lightly brush against each other, ellie still pinning you down to the bed. her grip tightens around your wrist as she thinks about the way you're still so caught up with your girlfriend, but the fact that she has your full attention for once overrides all the anger she bottled up. you gulp down and break away from her gaze, looking to the side, where she's holding you down.

"what happened to your finger?" you finally break the silence, earning a low chuckle from ellie. she's breathing right onto your neck, sending shivers down your spine.

you watch ellie's lip move, form words, pressing against each other softly.

"you sure you wanna text your girlfriend?" the last words pull you out of the daze her lips put you in, she surely must've said something important. you need to focus. you have to ignore that your body is screaming to be held, to be touched.

the thought of ellie touching you has never crossed your mind until... now. this very thought makes you want to adjust your lower body, arching your back slightly.

ellie can't help but notice all the movement happening below her. she's never been this close to you. and knowing she has your undivided attention all to herself, she can't hold back any longer.

her chest bumps against yours as she slightly moves up, her hand reaching for your chin, holding it in between her thumb and bandaged index finger. you're forced to hold eye contact with her, her breath tickling your face. your chest doesn't even rise anymore, only falling lower and lower until the movement travels to your lower back.

it's hard to breathe and it's hard to think, you feel your eyes wander from her green eyes to her lips.

"do i have something on my lips?" ellie asks, while looking down on you.

"no?" you're confused, finally pulled out of trance. she tilts your head to the side, at which you sharply inhale.

"you're staring," ellie whispers into your neck, the sensation insinuates you to hold your breath. you see a smile creep up her face from the corner of your eye, your heartbeat must've dropped to your abdomen at this very sight. all your morals and values must have left you on this night, because you want nothing more than ellie. she always directs you to make the right decision, so you want to believe that she will stop you from pursuing your inappropriate thoughts. with your free hand you reach for the hem of ellie's t-shirt, holding onto it desperately.

"ellie," you say out of breath. something about the way you called for her name made her lose it all, the breathlessness, your voice, the feeling of your body under hers.

her narrowed eyes fill with desperation, hunger, and lust. the sight of you underneath her tingles on her fingertips, ready to roam your body.

ellie takes a deep breath, lifting your face by your chin. she observe your lips carefully as she traces the outlines with her thumb.

"can i?" ellie finally asks, her eyes nervously looking for a place to rest on. you look up to her through your lashes, your grip tightening on her t-shirt. she makes you feel so needed, so incredibly wanted. your mind tells you to put an end to this but the feeling growing in between your thighs can't be ignored any longer. you shut your eyes close, then take one more look at ellie.

her arms could hold you up without struggling, her hands look so sturdy, she could touch you just the way you need her to.

sharply inhaling, you nod, and a smile creeps up her face. and you still feel said smile as she presses her lips against yours.

you didn't know that such a gentle kiss left you eager for more, and you find your hands entangled in her hair, frantically holding onto ellie.

the way your hands speak for what's going on on your mind makes ellie's blood rush through her veins, the soft fabric of your top rubbing up against her arm drives her insane as your skin is exposed every now and then.

ellie's hands glide over your body as her lips devour you impatiently. the sensation of her fingertips linger and you can't keep up any longer. she wants more of you, sloppy kisses emphasise that her attention has shifted from your lips to your body.

you can't help but notice her t-shirt riding up every so often, abdomen exposed.

"fuck," ellie groans, your bottom lip tugged in between her teeth. her hands finally have found a place to rest, a little under your chest, cupping your breasts. her gentle eyes meet yours, pressing her lips to a thin line before speaking.

"can i take your shirt off?" ellie's voice is slightly raspy and it's just enough to worsen the pressure in between your thighs. you squeeze them tightly, earning raised eyebrows from ellie.

"only if you take yours off too," you shoot back, because you can't be doing the wrong thing one-sidedly. however, didn't you want to end things with your girlfriend? she was practically an ex by now, you would've told her soon enough.

ellie sits up, her inner thighs pressing against your waist.

"oh? then, take your bra off too," ellie says, as she trails kisses on your neck, hot, slow and wet. you slightly arch your neck while biting down a moan. this is getting too heated for your own comfort and you can see yourself making noises only a few instances away, this needs to stop.

but ellie keeps on sucking, biting and licking your neck, making it impossible to keep quiet. and to make matters worse, she pushes her thigh all the way up against your aching spot, resulting you to softly moan.

"shit, didn't know texting your girlfriend back included moaning for me," ellie spits, the bitter taste of her fury still hasn't left her tongue. you're taken aback by her words but the sensation on your neck is keeping you in a trance you can't break away from. ellie's had enough of waiting, so she switches position with you, making you sit on top of her lap. she lifts your t-shirt, every inch of exposed skin is followed by hungry kisses until the shirt is off of you. you don't necessarily like sitting on top, too many vulnerable spots to be explored. ellie's rough hands glide down the sides of your upper body until they comfortably rest above your hips. her fingers graze over your body making breathing impossible, you feel it all the way down your lower abdomen.

and as if her big sturdy hands roaming over your body wasn't enough, she reaches for your back, undoing your bra with one hand.

you watch her smirk cockily as the straps of your bra fall to the sides, exposing your shoulders, and more importantly your chest. ellie bites down her lip as she cups your breasts, giving them a good, firm squeeze before locking eyes with you.

"you're tits look so fucking perfect," she groans, letting the palm of her hand brush against your hard nipples while ellie feels your hips tilt to the back at the touch of your skin, back arched for a moment only. she then pinches them and teases you even more, so you try to stop her and you reach out for her hand. however, you mistakenly grab her tattooed forearm, grasping it firmly to push her away from you. ellie chuckles at your unfortunate attempt to break away from her.

"you want them inside of you?" she teases, while breathing hot air onto your nipples. your eyes widen in surprise, when have you implied that? you suddenly feel heat creep up your neck, panic written all over your face. in response, ellie points to the forearm you've been digging your nails into.

"oh," you say, rapidly drawing your hands in.

"no, it's fine," she says while putting your arms around her, lifting you slightly up to lay you on her bed. her fingers are hooked on your waistband while taking your pants off. you've never seen anyone look this hot taking pants off, loose hair strands covering her face, you can't tell her facial expression.

all you see is her muscular shoulders and arms flexing while she undresses you.

you realise that wearing grey underwear will be the death of you as you hear ellie laugh lowly. you sense her blowing hot air against your clit, oh god is she a tease, you think to yourself.

"so fucking wet and i haven't even touched you? would love to hear your girlfriend's opinion on this," ellie scoffs, while observing the hot mess you are.

"ellie, for fucks sake i'm—"

"you're what?" eyebrows raised, hands resting on your thighs. you take a deep breath. talking about this while you're about to do it is not just incredibly anticlimactic but also immensely nerve wrecking. her eyes are like a ticking bomb, the longer you keep her waiting the more the disappointment grows, her gentle eyes turning tired.

"i'm ending things with her," you finally say.

"you surely will after today," ellie responds, her fingertip firmly pressing on your clit, only fabric separating her from your skin.

you gasp and your stomach rises almost immediately at the pressure you feel, causing you to squeeze your thighs tightly together. however, ellie slips her rough hand in between them, mouthing an 'open' towards your direction which you deemed useless since ellie opened your legs forcibly on her own. she holds one of your thighs down while pulling your underwear to the side, exposing your throbbing, wet clit. she holds two fingers out, gliding them over you to moisturise them before sliding them inside of you. the sensation of her fingers inside of you causes you to arch your back, throw back your head and dig your nails into her scalp.

"easy, love," she whispers, her fingers curved inside of you. ellie starts off slow, with every thrust you exhale shortly, until they turn into soft moans. her unexpectedly breathing against your clit makes you go insane, you feel the sensation give you goosebumps all over you body.

your body leaves ellie mesmerised, the way you move at her touch worsens her need to keep you all to herself, to devour you. she never imagined you to be this gorgeous, this attractive. she wants more of you and desperately wants the taste of you on her tongue. and not a second later, ellie made up her mind, she adjusts herself and pulls your panties further to the side, having full view of you.

"gorgeous," she mutters before crashing onto your clit, letting her tongue slowly slide to the top before making her way back down again. you pull at her hair in reaction, your other hand gripping her bed sheets. ellie moves the tip of her tongue up and down before tugging your clit in between her lips softly, sucking it in.

your moans become shaky and her sucking becomes more intense. you feel your whole body tense up as she presses her parted lips lightly around you, her tongue slowly flicking your clit inside of her mouth. she then lets go of you, you hold your breath.

you're numbed by the sensation and can't tell what's going on, you either feel her fingers pump inside of you or her tongue absolutely devouring you. you can't keep up any longer and ellie doesn't even leave space for a moment to breathe or think, you only feel, and that deeply.

all you hear are the wet noises you make against ellie's tongue and her grunts that unexpectedly turn you on. nails digging into her hair, back arched to the ceiling and your mind so far gone that all your responses to ellie's teasing questions are mindless moans, you feel her push even harder inside of you, causing you to jolt. ellie grins onto your clit as she notices your throbbing take on a slow, rhythmic pace, your insides clasping around her fingers in said rhythm. your hips move in circles, you desperately want to come, you've never felt this good.

and ellie keeps her thrusts consistent, just as the movement of her tongue, only increasing the speed of it. the taste of you sends her to another dimension, she already knows that this will leave her hungry for more. and so your back shoots up, forcing your hip all the way down and clutching around ellie's fingers, a sharp, but loud moan escaping your mouth. content with her work, ellie plants a kiss on your clit, your body shuddering in response. she slowly removes her fingers, your body shivers once more.

you're still in a haze, but ellie hovering over you pulls you out of it, her glistening lips are mesmerising. you see her lose strands sticking to her forehead, a few pearls of sweat on her well built arms. ellie observes your eyes, the way you look so gorgeous in the dimmed light worries her that she might do more.

"good job," she whispers into your neck, goosebumps spreading across your skin. you mutter a 'thank you' which makes you realise you're thanking her for all the wrong reasons. she lays down beside you and holds her right arm out, suggesting you to rest your head on it. you scoot closer, watching her chest rise and fall as she breathes.

"thank you for... the past few days," you say quietly into her chest. ellie scoffs shortly, raises her right arm to the back of your head and pats you. only now you notice that she has taken her shirt off, you don't recall that happening but you surely don't mind the view. you then feel ellie reach out for something, your phone in her hand.

"now text your girlfriend back and make sure to let her know that i'm here."

a/n: hello sorry for taking so long to update, was busy with exams, i was on renee rapp's concert as well (she's so attractive oh god) and yes. enjoy my first attempt at smut :)

[barelyahumanbeing]

The Strange Night at the Convenience Store

Pairing Humanoid monster x reader

Plot You moved to that place recently and already had a favorite convenience store. There was nothing special about, until you had to go there at night and cross into a peculiar version of it... with also a peculiar attendant

Warnings: None

N. A. So this is my first story for this blog, and I'm so excited with this new project! I have plans of bringing other formats besides lists like this one, so please tell me what type of content you feel more comfortable with 🥰 I'll also create a masterlist with all my content separated by creature, title and other categories in the future, so everything will be kept in order. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this little story and feel free to share your thoughts!

🥀 You moved to that city a few weeks ago and were still adapting to your new routine. It was the first time you were going to live alone, so you were excited and scared at the same time

🥀 Among all the things you had to manage by yourself now, it was discovering the supermarkets and shops that existed near your place, and which of them had the best products and prices. One day, you found a convenience store on a gas station located on a block behind the one where your building was, which sold snacks and essential items at a good price. It quickly became your favorite store, and you went there on every opportunity you had

🥀 Thing is that you always went there by day, so you never needed to leave your apartment by night when you wanted a good treat

🥀 However, there was this time when you forgot to shop at day, so you only found out your pantry was empty when it was almost 21pm

🥀 You sighed. Your movie night would have to start later than you planned

🥀 You left home promising you were going back to its comfort soon

🥀 You used to cross an alley right behind your building to shorten the way to the store, but you didn’t want to use it at night, so you took an entire walk around the block.

🥀 When you were about to cross the street, you noticed a change in your surroundings. The street, the buildings and cars were... different. Old. It was like you were in the same place, but in a past version of it. Even the few people you saw on the sidewalks wore strange clothes: they weren’t retro clothes like the ones you used to see in popular shops, but real, old clothes, though they were in good conditions, as if they were bought recently. The people were strange as well, but you weren’t sure about why you thought that

🥀 You didn’t understand what was going on, but you decided to pretend everything was alright and enter the convenience store. It was better than making a scene and attract unwanted attention

🥀 It was like entering another dimension: it was the perfect scenario of those convenience store of the movies produced in the 1980s, but realistic… and with an unsettling aura. Maybe it was the green neon lights that came out of nowhere, casting a sinister glow over the objects and colored walls. You saw a calendar and went there to see the date. You held your breath: the sheet was new, but it was from February 1984

🥀 So not only you traveled to a different universe, you also traveled back in time

🥀 The store was empty, but this didn’t bring you the relief you were expecting: the idea of being alone at night in a distorted reality was far too scary

🥀 As you walked through the corridors, you observed the racks and found the strangest things, from weird foods with even weider flavors, objects which use you couldn’t imagine and other things you were unable to identify.

🥀 Well, unlike you imagined, you weren’t really alone in that place: a voice called from the bottom of the place. It was a male, duplicated voice that spoke polite words in human language, but little it had to do with humanity

🥀 “Good evening, Miss. What can I do for you?”

🥀 You froze in your spot. The voice was talking to you. The person – or whatever was that – already saw you. What should you do next?

🥀 Since you didn’t give any verbal response, the voice spoke again

🥀 “Hey, it looks like you’re lost. Do you need help?”

🥀 In fact, you needed help, but you weren’t sure if you could seek for any help in there with an unknown being... Still, you decided to risk it. It wasn’t like you had many choices

🥀 “I do... I think I ended up in the wrong address, and I’d like to know how I get out of here”

🥀 You said those things while approaching the counter. When you realized what you were doing, you were already standing before it, staring at the voice’s owner

🥀 He was a man, or something like that: a humanoid individual dressed in the same style of the people you saw outside, but in his case it was the typical attendant uniform of the movies; he was taller than any human you’ve seen in your life, being able to touch the ceiling in case he raised his arms; his skin was of a dark shade of green, and most of the visible skin was covered in a discreet layer of even darker hair, and the same color was seen in the thick strands on his head. His eyes, resembling gold and contrasting with the green of his body, glowed under the neon lights when he laid them on you. You comforted yourself thinking it was just a gleam of curiosity

🥀 To be honest, you were curious about him too. First, it was obvious that he wasn’t wearing a costume: the green, the gold and all that hair were too real to deceive one’s eyes. Second, there was no way one could fake that height: you barely reached his chest. Besides, in the middle of that extraordinary situation, you realized you weren’t sensing any threat coming from him; you felt like you were in the presence of a common person, which only difference lied in his appearance. It was like a weird dream, except that you knew you were awake

🥀 He spoke for the third time, and you confirmed the origin of the voice. It vibrated inside you now that you heard it closer

🥀 “Yeah, I see you don’t belong here. I’d be scared if was you, too”

🥀 That was said in a playful tone, and you saw the long fangs on his mouth when he opened it to smile. You let out a nervous laugh

🥀 “I don’t understand what’s going on... I went to a convenience store near my place, but tonight things went... differently. And now I’m here”

🥀 The creature made a "Hm" and thought of this for a moment. The absence of confusion in his traits showed you that, apparently, the case wasn't as unusual to him as it was to you. And, in fact, his reply let it clear

🥀 "It used to happen more often in the past. It's been a while since the last person from your side ended up here, but it's no big deal. We don't know why or how exactly it happens, but sometimes you just cross the door without noticing. Usually they get scared when they realize they're lost, but you don't seem scared at all"

🥀 He approached the wooden board as to observe you from close. You were apprehensive, but didn't step back

🥀 "Still, I'm sure it's your first time here", he continued, "I don't remember seeing your face before"

🥀 You crossed your arms in front of your chest. That was your time to smile

🥀 "You always remember people's faces?"

🥀 “Not always, but the most interesting ones never escape my sight”

🥀 You spent a considerable time staring at him, measuring those words. Was that his way to say you were pretty or, at least, peculiar? What was even considered pretty in that place? Whatever the answer, the whole thing was unbelievable: a non human individual was flirting with you?

🥀 "Well, I think you haven't seen much people from my side, then", you commented, "I'm pretty common among my people. I don't think you'd remember me anyway"

🥀 The glow in his eyes came back, stronger as he leaned over the board. The fangs seemed to glow in his smile

🥀 "I work at a convenience store, dear. I've seen more people than you could count, and I'm telling you: my eyes and my memory work well together"

🥀 Your smile faded a bit, less because you didn’t know how to respond than by embarrassment. Your hand brushed your hair behind your war before you could stop it

🥀 "If you say so..."

🥀 Fortunately for you, he made you a favor and changed the conversation's direction

🥀 "So, since you're my only client at the moment, guess you can have my undivided attention. What do you need for tonight? Coke? Snacks? Something else?"

🥀 You laughed at the casual tone after such an intense dialogue about remembering faces

🥀 "I need something for a movie night. What do you have for me?"

🥀 "Tell me what you want"

🥀 "I want you to surprise me"

Tell me if you want Part 2!

[sirfrogsworth]

Actually, I might have too many reasons.

I'm afraid it has been a really difficult few years for me and my family.

Our beloved corgi, Otis, developed a terrible condition (degenerative myelopathy) that made him lose the function of his back legs. Once his quality of life diminished passed the point where he could no longer experience joy as a dog and only had hardship and suffering to look forward to, we had to put him to sleep.

In February, despite taking painstaking measures to stay safe, my entire family contracted COVID and I also developed a kidney stone at the same time. Unfortunately, my mother was on medication that made her immune system pretty much useless. She died a horribly lonely death in the ICU. The last time I got to speak to her was over the telephone, with a nurse holding the phone up to her face. She was confused and scared and could not breathe despite being on two different breathing aids. All she could do was ask if my dad and I were okay. She was more worried about us than herself. Then they had to put her mask back on and she kept trying to talk even though I couldn't understand her. All I could hear was the fear in her voice. I tried to tell her how much I loved her one last time, but I have no idea if she could hear me.

She lost consciousness soon after and never woke up. Eventually her heart gave up and she passed. I only got to see her once briefly through a glass door. Her body was still alive, but she was already gone at that point. Just an unconscious vessel attached to machines.

My father has kidney failure and heart failure. He is being kept alive by dialysis 3 times per week. He hates going and it wipes him out every time. We hope he has a year or two left, but it's impossible to know for sure.

I am his caretaker even though I am also disabled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Narcolepsy. I do my best to make sure his needs are met. My brother has been almost no help at all. A few friends and my aunt come by every once in a while to help with chores, but it's pretty much just me alone taking care of the both of us.

I have no idea where I am going to live if my dad passes away. I have no plan. I have no energy to make a plan. And that fear makes it hard to sleep many nights.

Then I was having these horrible stomach issues and lost nearly 30 pounds (in a bad way). The discomfort got so bad at one point I became suicidal. My dad feared for my life and so he called the police and EMTs. They admitted me into the hospital. After 2 days in the ER, being stuck in a small room because they had no other place to put me during COVID, I was finally admitted to a psychiatric ward for observation. Weirdly my stomach issues started improving and my suicidal thoughts passed.

I'm honestly not sure if I would have taken my own life if I had not been admitted. But I will say those two days in a tiny ER room did not do much to improve my mental health. It is sad that in this country with all its resources, there is no such thing as urgent mental healthcare. They just stick you in a room and make sure you can't hurt yourself as you wait in line to get the actual help you need.

Thankfully I was able to adjust some medication I was taking and resolve my stomach issues. That seemed to relieve me of my dangerous thoughts and I have been okay in that regard ever since.

My dad had a serious infection in July that placed him in the hospital. He lost the ability to walk, his heart stopped briefly, and he started having horrible hallucinations. At one point I wasn't sure if he would ever return to reality. Nothing he said made any sense. Thankfully once they treated the infection and he got decent sleep he returned to lucidity. But he had to go through brutal rehab in order to walk again (with a walker and only short distances).

He was in hospital and rehab for over a month. After what happened to my mom, I promised myself that my dad would not be alone in the hospital. So, no matter how bad I physically felt, I pushed myself to visit him and be at his bedside every day and all day until they kicked me out. It was grueling for both of us, but I don't know if he would have recovered if I hadn't been there. Partly because I kept his spirits up, but also because I was able to get him better care as an advocate. I had to push to make sure he got the tests and medication he needed and saw the doctors that could help him. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

The only bright side of his hospital stay is that we rediscovered our love for St. Louis Cardinals baseball. We bonded over it and ended up watching every game. We were very sad when they were quickly eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. But it was a magical season as two fan-favorite players were playing their final season and they had amazing and emotional sendoffs. (Albert Pujols and Yadier Molina) It is my hope that my dad has at least one more baseball season left in him.

My health took a serious downturn earlier this year. It happened on the very same day that my best friend Katrina came to visit from Florida. I got so sick I could barely appreciate her presence when she was here. I had been looking forward to seeing her for a very long time and my stupid chronic illness ruined it. I was counting on that visit to give me a mental health boost.

I recovered a few weeks later, but my health has never been the same. I had to adjust to a new normal and adapt and find ways to take care of my father despite being further impaired.

I also lost my last creative outlet--writing. I enjoy researching and writing long and humorous political essays, but since my health declined further, I have not been able to write like that ever since. I'm really hoping I can regain that ability, but I'm unsure if that will happen.

One of my best friends is trans and I have many trans friends and followers and I am just really scared for them right now. The laws that are being proposed and passed are unjust and cruel. I have never witnessed such an effective campaign of hatred in my lifetime. I mean, I know there has always been hatred of the marginalized in every era of modern human existence, but this seems to go beyond just the conservative hate-mongers. It is not couched in subtext and dog whistles. It is overt and very "out loud." And I'm seeing people who claim to be progressive join in this hatred.

They are suddenly super worried about sports they never used to pay attention to. They think bathrooms are suddenly dens of danger despite trans people existing long before this concentrated hate became popular and bathrooms being perfectly safe beforehand. And now people believe that helping trans kids with proper healthcare is akin to child abuse. They think accepting trans kids is "grooming."

I see Twitter and Reddit threads filled with transphobia and it often brings me to tears to see people openly and comfortably hate the people I love so much. They hate people who have no tangible effect on their lives. People who just want to exist and be respected.

I just don't know how people can hate my friends so much without even knowing them.

Also, I'm just... really really lonely. All the time. It feels like a constant punch in the gut. I miss seeing and hugging my friends. I miss romantic companionship. And I've got a 20+ year streak of being sexually frustrated and am completely unsure how in the world to address that.

And finally, I decided to watch The Handmaid's Tale which is just full of rape and sadness. I figured I'm already horribly depressed, so a show probably isn't going to do much more damage. But it is still a tough watch.

That's the major headlines of my depression.

I'm just trying to survive and find little ways to cope. Mostly I am leaning on my support system and amazing best friends to keep me propped up and functioning.

Best I can do right now.

[foxlar13]

i’m back with assigning songs to aftg.

picture this: Exit - Conan Gray and angsty kevaaron

February, and the flowers haven't even wilted

It's crazy how fast you tilted

The world that we were busy buildin'

kev and aaron have broken up because aaron gets scared the closer their futures come and he just can’t do it so he ends things

Mid-November, and I'm sippin' on a half-cold coffee

Starin' at a girl who's not me

On your arm, a carbon copy

the foxes have a big reunion and everyone brings their respective partners. including aaron and his new girlfriend. who is almost the spitting image of kevin. and kevin all of a sudden can’t wait until they go out tonight and he can have something stronger than coffee.

Feels like we had matching wounds

But mine's still black and bruised

And yours is perfectly fine now

kevin can’t understand. he’s here and he looks happy and he’s laughing with her. he doesn’t laugh with anyone but kevin. at least he used to. he feels like aaron’s stabbing a wound that hasn’t even had time to scab over. aaron doesn’t even have a scar to show for it.

Feels like we buried alive

Something that never died

So, God, it hurt when I found out

it’s still alive. he can feel it between them. in the way aaron still glances over on the way that he’s here and with someone that looks like kevin. they buried something alive and it’s crawling out and ripping at their throats to get out again. but god kevin aches. aches with the pain of being replaced so soon.

i could do the whole song but i am getting carried away but god just this song and angsty feelings for kevaaron 😩 i also picture this like they break up at the end of collage then it’s like, a few years in the future that they have their reunion.

[calmasyoghurt]

The joker out pride project.

One last chapter, in the form of letters. Also on ao3.

Chapter 30, prompt 27. Future/growing old.

January 4th 2023

My dear Nace. One month ago today I asked you to be my boyfriend. You said yes. It’s one of the best yes’s I’ve heard in my life. It got me the blessing of getting to stay over at your place, the blessing of kissing you good morning and good night, and the blessing of getting your mighty D. Sorry for that last part, but it had to be said. But that yes also got me a new years kiss. A new years kiss sweeter than any I’ve had before. When you pulled away, you didn’t wish me a happy new year, but a happy birthday instead. None of the other new year kisses I’ve had have even known my birthday. But you do, and you made sure to make that the subject of the first words you spoke this year.

One day I might let you know how special you make me feel. One day I might let you read this letter. One day I might tell you that I love you more than anyone I’ve ever loved before. Because I do. Maybe I’m a lovesick idiot, or maybe I’m a sick idiot in love. Either way, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you.

With love, from Jan.

***

February 3rd 2023

My dear Nace. Yesterday you officially met my parents for the first time. They absolutely loved you. It doesn’t surprise me, it’s quite difficult not to love you. Or maybe that’s just my opinion, seeing how I’m madly in love with you. I told you that yesterday too. Maybe I didn’t use those exact words, but as we were on our way to my parents house I told you that I love you for the first time. Your smile got so big, showing of those adorable dimples. Then you said you love me too and it made my heart melt. You make me so happy. Once again, I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 1st 2023

My dear Nace. Today is the first day of pride month. Today we told the rest of the band that we’re together. Of course, Kris already knew. You knew that Kris knew. I tell him everything about me the second it happens. But he’s a really good secret keeper, he didn’t even tell Bojan. But today we told Bojan and Jure too. They were nothing but happy for us. It would have been weird otherwise, seeing how they’re also in gay relationships with people in the band/crew. I'm so happy for us too. I'm happy that I finally found a guy that I can see a future with. Because I can, I see a future with you Nace. I can see us moving in together, growing old together, maybe even getting married. If we do get married, then I'll give you these letters then. I'll continue to write to you until that day.

With love, from Jan.

***

December 4th 2023

My dear Nace. One year ago today, you woke up and decided that after fucking me three times, you were finally sure that you were gay. You woke me up and told me so before fucking me once more. Just as we were coming down from our orgasms, I asked you to be my boyfriend. I was nervous for no reason, because you said yes. Now we've been together for a year, one of the best ones of my life. Not only because of you, but for the things we've achieved with the band. When we get back home, this time we'll come home to our home for the first time. You've moved in with me, and I couldn't be happier. You weren't spending that much time in your own place anyways. You're now officially my live in partner. I like that.

With love, from Jan.

***

Febuary 19th 2024

My dear Nace. We almost went public with our relationship. Damon took pictures of us, ones of us kissing. We almost posted them, but I got scared. I realised I'm not brave enough to have the entire world know. We're going on tour, and if we would have made it public, everyone would have asked questions I'm not comfortable answering. I hope you understand that. You said you do. I love you so much for always understanding. I love you so much for all the other things too. I want you in my life for as long as you’ll let me have you. Maybe I'll ask you to marry me sometime.

With love, from Jan.

***

December 4th 2024

My dear Nace. I haven’t written a letter like this for a long time. Instead I’ve spend time with the version of you I have right now. The best version of you, the one I’ve had, have, and will have right in front of me. It doesn’t matter if you change, the way you are when we’re alone, together, will always be my favorite version of you. Right now, you’re sleeping in my bed, our bed, and you’re as beautiful as usual. It’s almost weird to think how for the past year, my bed has also been your bed. You, who have been my love for the past two years. I’m looking forward to so many more. Now I'll try to go to bed so that you can wake me up with anniversary-breakfast-in-bed in the morning.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 2nd 2025

My dear Nace. We met your parents yesterday. You were so nervous. I was too, to be honest, but I tried not to let it show. I thought it would be akward, you were scared that they'd change their mind about being in contact. But everything went alright. Maybe they won't be walking a pride parade anytime soon, but at least they want you in their life again. They don't even seem to dislike me, so I'm satisfied with the visit. When we got home you were so happy. I was happy for you. Your family is not only made up of the band anymore, but your parents as well.

With love, from Jan

***

June 20th 2025

My dear Nace. It's been a weird couple of days. We've finally come out publicly. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. We all did it together, the entire band. It feels better that way. I wrote in my Instagram post that I've found a boy I'm willing to marry. It's a true statement. For the first time ever I'm sure about wanting to get married. Yesterday I told you me and Kris were going out for coffee. In reality, we went to a jewler so that we both could buy engagement rings. I'll ask you to marry me when we go on vacation in August. I'm ready to spend the rest of my life with you.

With love, from Jan.

***

August 14th 2025

My dear Nace. It's rather comical how it all turned out. We went on a hike today, and I had planned to propose to you by a waterfall. But when we got there, you got to it before I could. You got down on one knee, and asked me to marry you. Of course I said yes. I decided that you couldn't completely steal my idea, so when you'd put the ring on my finger, I pulled my own ring box out of my pocket. By the time I was down on one knee, we were both laughing so much I could barley ask the question. But when I did, you said yes. So, you're officially not my boyfriend anymore. You're my beautiful fiancé who I'll love and cherish forever. I can't wait until we're husbands.

With love, from Jan.

***

May 3rd 2026

My dear Nace. We've managed to plan a wedding in just eight and a half months. Not that it will be a big one, but it has still been hectic. Tomorrow we'll be walking down the isle, together, to become husbands. We'll be getting ready together too. The guys will be there, but I'll make sure to get a moment alone for just the two of us. It's then that I'll give you these letters. I'll give you all of them, and I'll hope you'll like them. Now, one last sleep before you're mine and I'm yours until death do us apart.

With love, from Jan.

***

June 30th 2089

My dear Nace. It's your birthday today. You would have been 95. But you're not here anymore. I got more than 66 years with you, and I couldn't have enjoyed them more. Your smile and laugh could make my entire day better. Your smile was the last expression I ever saw you do. You said 'we'll meet again, soon'. I took your hand and it made you smile. Then you closed your eyes and suddenly you were just gone. I miss you so much, every day. But we'll meet again, soon. I'm not that young myself either, I won't be staying here for too long. Now I will wrap this letter up. Then our lovely granddaughter Sofia will take me to your grave so that I can leave this for you there. The head stone we got is really nice, just the way we said we would have it. My name and date of birth is already on it. They'll just have to add the day I die when they've put me down next to you. At some point we'll be together again. I still love you, so much.

With love, from Jan.

[creatingnikki]

December 2023

The strawberries are here and the red decor too and now Christmas songs have started to play in cafés.

I want to reflect on this year and "wrap it up" so that when I look back at it, at 2023, at being 26, I have a narrative that feels comprehensive. But a narrative for whom? Myself mostly. But also for those I meet. I'm a storyteller. I like narrating everything. Like I'd probably tell that story about that spontaneous 2:30 am drive out the city in late February or the time I almost booked a flight to Chennai or that April night at the rooftop that felt out of smut booktok would obsess over or that midnight in late July when I felt at peace in the arms of a man for the first time. Would I want to tell them about that September evening at the beach holding a white rose and crying like my heart had floated away never to return? I do not know.

How to look back at these 11 months and counting? I don't feel arrogant enough like when I was younger to make lists that sound poetic and profound about my year and the things I learned when now I know the lessons keep repeating, that this is life of mine is very Sisyphean.

Nor do I feel like I want to be harsh on myself and marinate in feelings of incompentency and regret over wasted time and unmet goals and murdered dreams.

I am excited for 2024 but equally scared. But I'm not there yet. I cannot focus on 2024 until I feel like I've said my farewell to 2023. Time may be an illusion but it is my favourite tool to process life. One year ago this time, three years from now, when I was nineteen, when I turn thirty eight...I like to think in terms of time. It doesn't shackle me, it serves me.

December. What do we do with you this time? I'll eat the strawberries and I'll go to the parties and I'll try to find gratitude and reflect over things. But if I only mostly catch up on sleep and enjoy the cool breeze, will you let me proceed?

[lemonisntreal]

Do you have a Tone Deaf version of Clay Calloway?

(Perfectly fine if you don't. I was just curious, plus I love all your redesigns) 🦁🎸

SORRY THIS TOOK FUCKING FOREVER LMAO [been sitting in my inbox since FEBRUARY THIRTEENTH, HOLY SHIT :D]. YEAH, here he is :pppp a solid draft for you

Lowkey [highkey] gave up on the clothing wrinkles on the arms, but I still like how it turned out I think. I don't have much on him in terms of rewrite, but I do have some, so I'll dump it all here under the cut.

I swear I love asks, please feel free to say/ask whatever, I'm just horrible at answering in a reasonable time-frame because I always want to make it this beautiful masterpiece and end up turning all of them into full-on posts- or, at least I want to ~_~

Headcanonssss-

Ash gave him that button off her jacket [probably needs to be resized I'm realizing lol] [also I totally adopted this headcanon from someone elses post- might've been yours. Whoever came up with it I love it <3]

Born during the reformation that happened after the war- basically, nobody was really fighting anymore during this time, but some big people in power were still being stupid [aka: not letting their prisoners go]

So that would be somewhere around 1947? Which would put his age at 61 in my universe [which is in 2008- the times are pretty much random, nothing really lines up irl. Ignore how they use tech and other things that shouldn't have been invented yet lol]

He grew up when the Skunk Dolls were new and popular and stuff. And he loved them- so much that the band actually kinda inspired his music career

[Skunk Dolls also made loads of protest songs btw. War stuff]

Takes a ridiculous amount of care with his mane, and if he lets you touch it, that's a true sign of trust

So the Piglets always like to play with it, and Ash has given him braids a few times

He's had that scruffy red jacket since his early days

I should draw patches on it-

Ash probably'll give him a quill or two to put in it too with all the patches and repair stitches

He wears a lot of plaid, I just didn't wanna draw it <3

Rough and torn up clothes too

Everything he owns has some sort of smudge or tear in it from motorbiking and/or just being himself <3

His ears are pierced in almost every way imaginable, and when Ash found out, she went CRAZY

Cue her getting him to try on a bunch of stuff

He likes wrought iron jewelry and has never been a fan of anything with gemstones in it

Buster is terrified of him, but Clay is just kinda a blunt person and it doesn't mix well with Buster sometimes. They get along eventually tho. There was also some really bad timing with the circumstances of how they even met in the first place too lol-

Johnny is also. Super terrified.

Buster and him are like "Ahhh.... that guy scares the living daylights out of me." "Ohh, thank god it's not just me-"

He has a strange out-of-pocket interest in astrology.

And in herbology and plants in general, but he picked that up from Ruby. Astrology was all his, and it is the one thing he will "nerd out" over

Also the kind of guy to make fun of you for nerding out too

Making fun of people is his love language

So is giving people food

He's not great with his words and can find it hard to express love by just telling someone. Back to the bluntness thing, you can often find him accidentally offending someone and he doesn't even realize it

The troupe very quickly learned this and it's more of an endearing trait of his to them [and to most people who know him]

REALLY good cook. Fantastic, in fact. Probably one of the best chefs out of any of the characters.

Learned the hard way that enlisting Buster's help in the kitchen is a bad idea. Also Ash isn't great either, but he actually tries to teach her some of his recipes. And she's quickly improving

Buster was just being an idiot and forgot you shouldn't microwave tinfoil

Clay travels a lot, but spends most of his time in Calatonia [he technically still lives at his and Ruby's house, but he's super scared of accidentally closing himself off again, so he only visits to check up on the flowers and maintain the property pretty much]

He's like Ash's second [and very cool] dad. Which- also intimidates Buster quite a bit :D

I feel like their dynamic could be a sitcom. Clay is Ash's awesome dad and Buster is Ash's lame [endearing] and oddly unhinged and anxious dad who feels like he has to be as cool as Clay [and always fails heehee]

Clay is more entertained by Buster's ridiculous criminal record than horrified and I don't know if that's worrying or just a classic Calloway W

He's a very nonchalant person

Ruby's death is the only time I can really think he had a legitimate emotional break that wasn't just him being snappy [which is also pretty rare]

Clay's also like an uncle to the Piglets

He's kinda just taken up the role of "super awesome miscellaneous family member" for everyone at this point

He's back performing again after Sing 2- just not frequently or putting out any new songs [on his own at least- he might do a collaboration or two with Ash]

[hannahhook7744]

Hey Little Hope Fandom!

I'm trying to make a list of hobbies and info about The Clarkes (Plus Vince) and need a bit help.

If I missed anything let me know in the comments down below.

Here's what I got so far.

James:

Born on April 8, 1929.

Died on January 17, 1972.

Factory Worker at Ravenden Textiles Factory.

Worked with Vince.

Married Anne at 19.

He adopted all 4 of the kids.

He likes sports and darts.

May have had a bit of a drinking problem.

His middle name started with T.

42 when he died.

Has a temper.

Didn't approve of Tanya and Vince dating.

Worried about the factory closing alot and thought the kids would be fine, though he did tell Anthony to look out for Megan due to Anne's worrying.

Anne:

Born on February 12, 1931

Died on January 17, 1972.

Married James at 17.

40 when she died.

Was unable to have biological children.

Worried about the kids alot. Megan especially.

Didn't approve of Tanya and Vince dating.

Had a book on parenting.

Was frustrated with James.

Looked to the reverend for help after reaching her wit’s end with Megan. 

Tanya:

Born on August 22, 1949.

Died on January 17, 1972.

22  when she died.

Middle name started with A.

Hated Little Hope and wanted to get away.

Practiced Paganism. 

Dated Vince Barnes.

Yelled at Megan for playing with matches once.

Poured coffee on a handsy guy at work.

Was a waitress. 

Had coworkers named Murray and Jeannie.

Painted stars on a tire swing with her dad when she was ten. 

Liked Jewelry. 

Gets frustrated easily.

Owned a diary.

Was miserable at home.

Calls Megan M and a living hell.

Drunk whiskey before.

Likes bowling and burgers.

Might have shared a room with Megan.

Dennis:

Born on April 29th,1951.

Died on  January 17, 1972.

Was 20 when he died.

His middle name started with F. 

Didn’t trust Vince.

Was a band guitarist.

Had tons of records and was a big fan of music.

He might have been adopted first.

Also may have been a thief based on a one off joke but maybe not.

Calls Megan bigfoot.

His band had posters.

He participated in a concert. 

His band was a rock band.

Played rugby and maybe football.

He won several awards. 

Anthony:

Was born on either 1953 or 1954. Exact date is unknown.

18 at the time of the fire.

Became a bus driver after his family died.

Is depressed and suicidal. 

Tanya calls him ‘Mr. Knight in Shining Armor’.

Was annoyed with his parents’ fighting and his dad’s drinking as well as with how everyone treated Megan.

He resents Megan after their family’s deaths. 

Built a doll in jail to remember Megan by.

Got burnt in the fire.

Was the second youngest of the family.

May have a fear of being left behind and might feel left out by his family.

Is traumatized after the fire.

Was fond of the witch trials.

Has mental health issues.

Was blamed for the fire.

Was helpful to the family.

Got along great with Vince before the fire.

Shared a room with Dennis.

His middle name was not revealed.

Played darts and may have played baseball or basketball.



Megan:

Born on June 16th,1960.

Died on January 27th, 1972.

Was 11, almost 12, when she died.

Her middle name started with R.

She was a problem child.

She had a history of playing with matches.

Was called M and the little princess by Tanya,

She was resented by a lot of people in the family.

Was mentored by the reverend for months.

Was the youngest.

Had a doll.

Became rebellious and felt like her family didn’t care about her.

May have read Tanya’s diary.

Watches tv.

Is called Big foot by Dennis. 

Has mental health issues or may be able to talk to ghosts.

Was scared of the reverend.

Art was her best subject.

Had a C average and had an F in history, writing, science, and physical education.

Was resentful towards her parents.

Vince:

Factory Worker at Ravenden Textiles Factory.

Worked with James.

Has a temper.

Tanya’s boyfriend.

Has a nice car everyone is jealous of.

Likes whiskey, western movies, burgers, and bowling. 

Plays dumb but is actually really smart.

Practiced Paganism. 

Never got over Tanya and drank a lot after her death. 

Got in trouble at work because of it.

Visits little hope after it closed down in 1979.

Wasn’t that much older than Tanya based on his looks.

Became depressed after Tanya died.

Abandoned his car after carving a sun into it and rides a creaky bike.

Took care of Tanya’s grave.

Got along with Anthony before the fire.

He drinks the brand of beer ‘singing nickel’. 

Played pool/darts with Anthony before.

If you can think of any hobbies I missed let me know please. I'm trying to write some fics and want a better feel on the characters and would hate to miss something. Please and thank you. Even if it's just one off things the characters have said when Anthony was hallucinating them.

[ragnarokhound]

30, 31, 36 for the writing ask game pls!

(also adore your ask box line shsjjdjdjf)

:D thank you for the asks! (And hehehe thank you, when I did my avatar rebrand I thought it was time to update that too)

30. Describe a fic that almost happened, but then it didn't.

Ohhh man, haha, this fic has actually been on my mind a lot today, I've explained it to three separate people lmao.

So okay, I have this old WIP from last year. It was going to be the next fic I wrote after my first Jaytim fic, I was going to write it on PURPOSE with a PLOT and PINING and EVERYTHING. The WORKS. It was my first attempt at writing Jason's voice too - he's the POV character - and instead I wrote Hurt/Comfort lmao. This fic was heavily inspired by listening to "This Losing" by the Airborne Toxic Event on repeat during February of 2023, and was going to feature a friends with benefits situationship that quickly spirals into Real Feelings that Jason is having trouble grappling with because he's afraid of scaring Tim with how intensely jealous/possessive he gets. With how much he loves him :')

Eventually I'll write it... someday...

31. What was the most difficult fic for you to write (but in the end you made it)?

Oh, Hurt/Comfort for sure. That fic was SO nerve-wracking because uhhhhh I'd never written BDSM before! Not really! Not a full on, planned out scene! And on top of that, Hurt/Comfort is experimental with it's choose-your-own-adventure style two endings, so once I was done with writing Hurt I had Comfort to write as well, lmao. I'm pleased with it, but in retrospect, imo it's pretty vanilla for what it is (this may be relative lol), and I feel like I've improved as a writer since posting it :)

(I really enjoy writing panic attacks and bad mental spaces tho, and I still really like the small moment in the bathtub when Tim is sucked into his short flashback uwu sorry Tim, but I had to do it to em)

36. How do you come up with fic titles? What's the one you're most proud of?

In the grand tradition of fic authors everywhere, most of my fic titles are song lyrics or other quotes o7 Usually they're taken from the song I'm listening to the most while writing the fic, and usually I use the lyric I feel best captures either the vibe or a specific beat in the story.

That being said, Sit, Stay, Speak is probably my favorite original title, because it's out of context spoilers for the story as well as a funny dog pun :D Jason is going to sit in Tim's apartment, stay put, and speak to Tim without realizing it; and Tim is going to speak to Jason without actually speaking. His apartment, his life does the talking for him - and Jason hears it. I am genuinely quite proud of Sit, Stay, Speak, every aspect of it was agonized over, but it was worth the effort.

[immacaria]

Fluffbruary: February 5 - Aquarium

Tags: Character Death TW; said character come back right after; Merman AU; Hob rescues Dream; Strangers to Friends to Lovers; Fluff; Domestic Fluff; Eventual Fluff

The first time Hob met Dream he was inside a closed aquarium, still like a corpse and eyes closed. There was nothing about him that would tell Hob he was alive, that the being in front of him was breathing and waiting to kill the person who dared to come too close. He was wrong.

As soon as he opened the lid, looking inside, two clawed hands came out and cut his shoulders open. Blood dripped into the water, his head submerging as the thing pulled him down and down and down. A scream came out of his mouth as teeth bite into his neck, tearing it open.

Two stars appeared in the middle of the darkness as Hob bleeded out, getting closer and closer... closer.... closer..... closer......

When Hob opened his eyes once again he was still inside the tank, water surrounding him and bringing the panic back with full force. His feet searched for the bottom, hands coming up and looking for a way out, his mind screaming for him to get out get out getoutgetougetout. Open space appeared and he grabbed the walls of the aquarium, drawing big breaths, trying to get air into his lungs. When he finally calmed down, he was completely alone in the room.

The second time he met Dream, it was his friend's fault.

Hob was waiting for Teleute to come around to their weekly meeting, pen twirling around in his hand while he thought how many wrong questions Theodore could get in a row. All of them, apparently.

The first sign that his friend arrived was the low whispers growing around him and the heavy sound of her boots. The second one was the full and warm laugh that always seemed to accompany her wherever she went. The third was the chair being pulled and someone sitting down by his side.

But this time a third chair was also pulled.

Hob looked up to see the thing that killed him a mere week before staring at him, blue eyes burning into his. His hair still seemed to be flooding around him, just like back in the aquarium, and his expression was just as serious. His eyebrows were furrowed as if he hadn't expected Hob to be alive.

"What do you want to say, little brother, to the man who rescued you?" Teleute said by his side and Hob turned to look at her with a raised eyebrow. He should have guessed this, he should have known, after all, it was her who showed him the way to that basement where he found the aquarium and his death... Again.

"I am sorry and thank you," the man said, every word sounding as if it hurt him to say them. "I didn't know you wanted to help me," he added and looked down for a moment, honest to God pouting and Hob didn't have it in his heart to hate him.

"It's alright. You were scared," Hob said, smiling at him and putting the exams away. "I'm Hob, by the way," an outstretched hand and a smile and they were suddenly friends.

Week after week, Dream started to show up at the New Inn, sometimes with Teleute, but mostly alone. In the beginning, Hob thought he felt guilty for ripping his neck apart, but soon discovered it wasn't exactly like that. He was lonely, Hob thought, yet, didn't say anything.

After spending almost one hundred years imprisoned in a fish tank, he thought that it could feel quite lonely there. So he let Dream stay there, with him at the New Inn. And, eventually, at his loft, and his sofa and, then, his bed.

He could feel Dream's breaths against his neck, one of his legs thrown over Hob's hips and his right arm over his chest. Years passed since their first encounter, since Dream ripped Hob’s neck open and said he was sorry one week later. Teleute had been happy for them, hugging Hob so strongly his back popped.

His fingers worked through Dream's hair, looking for all the insistent knots there and carefully picking them apart. The air was cold around them, snow falling outside the window and painting the streets white and making everyone stay inside for the weekend. Dream's nose was buried against his collarbone, his head pressed against his neck as he kept sleeping.

It should be strange, Hob knew, to sleep aside the creature who killed him in their very first meeting, but he had lived much more than he was supposed to. He knew Death personally, had cheated on the game of cards they played every time they met, he had seen many things, killed many others too. This? This was not strange to him, this was something he never thought he would have.

And one he would never let go of.

[artzzyb00-27]

Fire-Fam kids Teenage Adventures: Spook Squad

Good Ole Halloween one shot in February. Deal with it.

Halloween. A day for stupidity, fun, childhood, partying, and teenagers testing tolerance. Okay so maybe they went a bit farther than intended. All of them are sitting on top of Harry's pickup truck while eating the pizza they ordered around an hour ago. Which meant right now it was 9:30 something PM and they were gonna get whooped back home. They had to hand it to Manny though. The view was worth it. Let's rewind shall we?

-------------------------------------------

Earlier that day, Oct. 31 2027 Manny was walking to Chris' house to pick him up, and head to the park nearby to scout potential candy hot houses till Eddie decided against it.

"Hey, mijo! Come in! We've got breakfast pancakes." Manny was still on edge with Mr.D- Eddie. He hated when Manny called him Mister. Ever since the shooting, Manny felt like he let Chris down. He cared about his friends. Especially Chris. When meeting the rest of their family, Athenatold him he reminded her of someone. Someone named Buck.

Manny didn't see it. A tall, handsome, kind, intelligent in the right ways, brave man was something Manny wasn't at all. Snapping out of his thoughts Manny walked up to the front door and wiped his feet on the doormat. Heading inside past Eddie, he removed his Tío Javier's jacket and hung it on the rack.

"Thank you." He said while heading into the kitchen and sat down at the island to get a view of what Buck was cooking. Hearing the noise, the blonde man looked up and turned around. Smiling he greeted the boy who, in Buck's mind, saved his son's life.

"Hey Manny, how'd you sleep?"

"Alright, thanks for asking. Is Chris still asleep? I could come back later?"

"He woke up a while ago. Besides, even if he wasn't awake, I'd still give you pancakes."

"Despite it not being healthy." Eddie's voice echoed from behind Manny who flinched at the suddenness of the man's presence. "Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

"Oh, hey Manny," Chris said as he neared the island sitting next to his friend. Just as he sat down, Buck placed 3 tier stacked pancakes drizzled in syrup for the boys and had some eggs cooking for him and Eddie. "Thanks, pops."

"Thank you."

"Sure, anytime you wanna come over and join us for food shoot us a text."

"I might just take you up on that. Your food's delicious."

"Kiss ass."

"Hey, that's not very nice," Manny said in response to Chris pretending to be sad. Making the other boy almost spit his food out. After finishing their plates they both walked up to the sink and washed the plates.

"Thanks, boys," Eddie said handing them his and Bucks plates. "What's the plan for Halloween?"

"Probably just hang out at Athena and Bobby's. We were going to take turns playing COD with Harry and Denny. It's funny making weirdos rage on public servers."

"Fair enough."

"So no costumes?"

"Oh, we didn't say that," Manny said smirking at Chris who also had a mischievous smile. The plan was, to go to the house. Wait a while, ask to go to the park with the Halloween carnival, go there for a bit, then take pictures as ghosts with sunglasses. After that, go to the train tracks in the woods and take pictures of ghosts with sunglasses again.

"I don't like that you two have those looks on your faces," Buck said also smiling(hypocrite) while also being slightly terrified. The boys turned around still smiling, making the couple back away into the living room.

"Think they'll be upset?" Manny asked.

"Nah, I'm with you guys. We'll be okay."

-------------------------------------------

When they arrived at the Grant-Nash house, both boys quickly took note of the Wilsons' car and bolted upstairs briefly greeting everyone else. Chimney and Maddie were taking Jee-Yun around the neighborhood with Karen and Hen who were taking Nia. The girls had dressed up as genies with pink and blue hair.

When they entered Harry's room, the two boys were already set up and playing the game. They played for a good two hours before hearing the door open and voices resembling the six people who were missing previously.

Once they knew everyone was settled in, they initiated their plans. Going downstairs they went into the kitchen/dining room area.

"Hey, can we go to the 'Halloween Hangout' at the park? There'll be security guards."

"Like that's gonna make us feel better." Athena retorted her son lovingly. "What do y'all think?" She asked looking at the parents of the other two. Hen and Karen smiled and nodded their heads. Eddie and Buck looked at each other for a bit.

"Why not? It's Halloween. Go have fun mijo." Eddie told him earning a smile. Then he turned to Manny who was busying himself with talking with Nia and Jee-Yun. "Hey Manny, you be careful too okay? Make sure they stay out of trouble."

Feeling under the spotlight, Manny froze for a second but then awkwardly saluted the Latin man.

"Y-yes, sir."

Harry, Denny, and Christopher raised their eyebrows but walked in the direction of the door. Pulling the punk with them. After they walked through the door they heard the adults laughing before shutting the door.

Once at the park, they went to different booths. One where you throw rings on witch hats(Harry won Manny a ghost dog plushie), and multiple snack booths. Once they had enough of popcorn and chocolates, they headed to the swings to take the pictures. After taking the pictures, they went to Little Caesars and went off to the train tracks.

When they found it, they took some random pictures of themselves with and without the costumes. One was Harry and Manny recreating the Max and Chloe train track scene from Life is Strange.

After finishing up the makeshift photoshoot they drove up to the cliffside to eat their pizza. Harry posted the pictures on his Instagram tagging the others. Each of them did the same with their versions and made the trunk comfy for them. Placing the boxes in the middle whilst they sat inside looking out at the city while also watching a Miles Morales Jacksepticeye playthrough from the early 2020s. The dummies ended up falling asleep and woke up to over fifty calls in total from their parents.

The last text message was from Athena saying she found their location and they better bring their asses home within the next hour. They had thirty minutes.

-------------------------------------------

Thank god, for back roads. Manny was shitting himself, squishing Boomy(ghost dog plush) between his arms. Chris was trying to calm him down while Denny told Harry where to go to get back quicker.

When they finally go back, they go back with five minutes to spare. The adults are out on the front porch watching the girls play in the yard and waiting for the quartet. As soon as they got out of the car, Athena got up alongside Eddie and Hen.

"You're lucky we have your locations and your stories. Nice pictures by the way." Semi-smiling, Harry hugged his mom. Denny did the same, apologizing and explaining what happened. When Chris went to hug his dad, Manny stood still and looked down awkwardly. Embarrassed.

Thinking of how badly Eddie probably wanted to punch him. That is til he got pulled into a hug as well.

"Just glad you two are okay." If Manny was holding back tears from spilling out, no he didn't.

[hummingbird-games]

Dev Diaries

February 17, 2024

I almost put 2019 as the year and that's the energy I'm bringing to this update, help.

What Has Gemini Been Up To? -> The Knight Dance

This is around the time that the Black Visual Novel game jam would be in progress. Alas, there hasn't been an official announcement for 2024 so it's more than safe to assume that it's a hiatus year 😞 In my heart of hearts though, I still classify TKD as a jam project.

(Some might remember this idea was originally for the Yuri + Once Upon A Time jams but I had the suddenly good idea to like, chill, and shelve this project. I'm still a bit bothered I had to do that, but coming off of the development of Crushed was...brutal. Almost as if I didn't learn from my first project....huh.)

So late last month I started recruitment for sapphic project aka THE KNIGHT DANCE!! I have been DYING to work on this, but I wanted it to be a jam entry + team effort. I've never been on a team when it comes to game development! Way too anxious to function and for the longest stretch of time, I had zero experience. I have previous writing credits, but I wasn't sure how well my previous skills would translate over. And I was too embarrassed to reach out to a team and be like "hey, I don't know anything but I wanna help!". Maybe someone would have been cool with that, but I was too scared to put myself out there.

Well, Gemini is moving up in the world!! At the time of this post, I've assembled a team of people who are as jazzed as I am to work on this sapphic fairytale and bring it to life. There are a lot of first for me with this project, which means I will be learning a lot and taking copious notes.

Also I think I kind of suck at the leader part? 🤣 Methinks I was not built to be in charge.

This will have voice acting as well, and ohhhh my goodness after all the efforts to do partial VA in Crushed I really sat here and said, "Yes, yes... I shall do it again" 😭🤧💛

I don't anticipate TKD taking as long as Crushed did from start to finish (8 MONTHS Y'ALL, AHHHHHHH--), but I'm also prepared for anything to happen with TKD. I'm trying to extend the same grace to myself as I freely give to my teammates and anyone I work with, and let me say: I prefer bullying myself to being nice sometimes ☠️ I should work on that....

LOL I keep talking about TKD, but have yet to explain the concept! I'm unsure if this game with get the pinned post treatment but we'll cross that bridge later.

The Knight Dance is a sapphic remix not retelling of the original 12 Dancing Princesses story. We focus on the stubborn, youngest daughter of three, Princess Heather, and the knight who's already fallen in love with her, Lady Ezra. Are they meant to be or is love not enough???? 👀🍿

TKD takes a couple of the concepts I wanted but never saw all together.

12 Dancing Princess is one of my favorite fairytales and no one ever adapts this outside of literature.

I've wanted to do a sapphic game for a hot minute (HSDJY is basically yuri if you ask some disgruntled players LOL 🤷🏽‍♀️ Ryan and Langston are chopped liver...)

It's Black History month and I'm Black 365 days of the year and damn if I can't just see Black women falling in love and being loved in return????

The ridiculously stubborn girl trope and the love interest who loves her. I know some people are annoyed by MCs who would rather die than admit their feelings ('immature' comes up a LOT) so I was kind and kept y'all in mind when writing the script😂

So there's the update for the 'in progress' game. Tune in next time where we tackle -> HSD:JY 2...THE SEQUEL!!!!!!!!!!!!

- Gemini 🖤

[eucidianlyendless]

Okay, how do I do this,

Let's see uh

Okay I have nothing to copy and paste really, so I'm just going to write from scratch. Bear with me.

Hiiiii I'm Edmund Endless. I'm 18, as of last February. Seems important to put out into the world.

I'm a little weirdo. Or, well a tall one according to some people (is 5'8" tall?), But either way, I fully admit that I am in fact rejecting the term normal when it comes to my identity. I'm in fact very eccentric in between the fact that I consider things like slacks to be casual pants and almost always wear some kind of Hawaiian shirt out in public because I like the design of a short sleeve button up with desgny stuff, that definitely counts.

As far as hobbies go, I've had a bit of time to accumulate some, such as being an artist on paper and digitally, a rudimentary writer in the works, and then I look cooking and playing Minecraft (I am most certainly not a gamer but that will hopefully be something I can work on)

I also like to dress super femme [though, also, I see clothing as a thing all should be able to enjoy free of gendered norms, sooo-]. So far not anything huge since I'm working on getting a job as we speak, but once I have money flowing in, I plan to do more. I think skirts, fishnets, and makeup are all amazing things, and that's not even the start of it.

Edit: I've been considering Gothic Victorian attire... I think it's also called Gothic Lolita? Outfits I've found look cute and i wish I had them now-

Anyway, as mentioned in my blurb at the top, I am neurodivergent. As far as I know I Do have an official diagnosis but I don't know where they are because I was not the one who got them- but anyway I have Autism and ADHD. I like to think of them as additional overlays over my brain (I imagine ADHD as like the weird additional RAM space over with my left hemisphere for example) that have a few drawbacks but generally make me who I am. Everyone is a unique individual and I think that's one of the best things ;]

Formerly I was a proud owner of a surprisingly old cockatiel whom I love and cherish- he got to be 31, nearly 32, this year. And throughout the last summer, I also care for two cats- neither of which have any problem with my bird. Usually it's more a concern of if he'll bite them lol

Since my birds passing I've adopted two rescues who needed a new person and while they're not fully tamed yet, we all enjoy each other and I hope to further the bond with time and effort.

Anyway it's a fair warning that because of that I may or may not understand certain social cues, sarcasm, certain jokes, etc. I definitely understand text tones a little better even before people started employing the /srs or whatever stuff, but it's better to put that out there. I can also be a little blunt, but between autism and experiences, I do try to not be harsh if I can.

Anyway I'm running out of long things to list so I'm just going to put some additional facts down here

- I currently have at least one experience working on an alpaca farm, and as a result I have a couple vague understandings of the stuff that goes on there and why they're quite profitable.

- I really really want to dye a bit of my hair hot pink. I think it would be awesome and very outside the box. [Edit: I DID IT! I'M GONNA DO IT AGAIN eventually]

- I like scary stuff and I like silly stuff, and I especially like it when both are involved. Mainly because I see a lot of the same humor nowadays and horror doesn't always phase me (I was one of those kids who got into FNAF when I was younger so a lot of the feeling of being scared over those kind of things desensitized me a little.)

- I at one point wanted to be a YouTuber as a career, but most likely that will not happen due to the ridiculousness of the platform not likely going to mesh very well with my vocabulary at least half the time consisting of Fuck here and there- which is to say I will probably still eventually get back into that because I wanted to post things on there too.

- I've been getting into baking and I really want to try to make creamy jalapeno popper stuffed chocolate donuts from scratch. I also want to make a pizza from scratch :]

- I love Legos and I like making transformers out of them when I can figure out how to do it.

- I like music that is either from the 50s jazz era, older rock, shitposty songs, and then will wood. I/me/myself babyy :D

- I have read the entire Twilight series and shamelessly admit that I used to think it was the coolest thing when I was younger. Not So much Anymore.

- I'm a big fan of books by Rick riordan, James Patterson, and other obscure artists that right strange cool stories- such as The hitchhiker's guide which I also read the entire trilogy of four books.

- for some reason my default thought to looking cooler involves spikes and leather and you know I can't entirely say why. But I think it makes anyone look instantly cooler to be dressed in at least a cool leather jacket and heeled matching boots.

- I am in fact the person behind the two projects R.O.O.T and Enduralt. The former (Root) which I work on more because that's a long-term project and an original project. The other one (Enduralt) was just something me and an old friend kind of jumped back into for fun and I figured I'd keep the ball rolling as long as I can since I felt like it deserved to have its ideas shown in some capacity.

- I have a C shaped spine last I checked. It doesn't affect a whole lot as long as I'm careful, but I think it's an interesting fact to mention.

- through very roundabout means I am related to Johnny Cash, but not by blood.

- at some point I really want to have the space to build the model of an old car but retrofitted for modern road safety stuff since nowadays you need to have at least a partially electric car to drive on the road. I'd like to have mine look nice and cool.

- this probably should have gone upwards by the cake idea but I really like mixing foods together and at some point I intend to create my ultimate burger I've always dreamed of.

- also my favorite color is magenta and I am frustrated that it is hard to find that color in the kind of clothes I like to get because if I could I would have a lot of nice sweaters and skirts and stuff in magenta and it would be amazing-

Anyway, that's all I can think of right now, so unless I something start reblogging and adding more to the list, that's everything relevant. Feel free to ask more about that stuff and I'll tell stories like the weird uncles/dad friend that I am to people.

How the hell do I pin this-

[the-grim-and-sanguine]

February Fanfic Recap

Once again I am LATE but honestly what is new I'm so bad at life lol

So I didn't really read over the month of February - my mental health plummeted so I lost myself in videogames (Genshin, Minecrraft, BG3) instead of fanfic BUT I did read a little.

NOTE: My word count isn't accurate cause I'd make it through like half a chapter of something then get bored (not the authors fault) and just didn't get back to it so I apologize

I read 11,782 words in the month of February, probably more like 15,000 but those words aren't counted hahahaha-

And this number came from 1 fic that I decided to finish since I read most of it in December then got scared of the ending-

But ANYWAY this fic was an original work, male oc/male oc, and rated explicit (shhhh)

While I do like me a good explicit fic let me just say I really liked the story and the dynamic between the two main characters and just the world this author created in general (this fic has a whopping 219,191 words over 34 chapters so of course we have character development and cute fluff)

I did also read a little bit from a Dragon Age: Inquisition fanfic with a Male Lavellan Inquisitor/Dorian Pavus ship but that fic I'm reading through VERY VERY SLOWLY cause its a whopping 657,685 words over 44 chapters and it's not even completed (tho the last update was almost a year ago so idk if the author will continue it but we will see)

But anyway, that's all I have for you for now folks! Hopefully I'll read more over the month of March! (we are over a week in and I haven't read anything so we will see fyghkj)

[hot-take-tournament]

Hi, the one anon with a stalker story here. Basically, it started around February of this year, sort of. I, a cringefail lesbian wasn't exactly going out with a girl, but we mutually like each other, so I was gonna ask her to the Sadie's dance that was soon, but my almost-stalker did, I had a little thing of self-discovery, but the important thing from this was my almost-stalker and I both liked her, but it was a thing of us both wanting her to be happy (tbh I felt like I got led on, but I learned later they went as friends). Anyways, after my almost-stalker also got her heart broken by this girl, we talked for a bit, we shared a class (choir). I heard that she was kind of weird and creepy, but it was a thing of not judging people before I met them. The first red flag was the fact that she knew where most of her friends live, only because of the location feature on snapchat, even having pictures of their houses, a lot of which without the knowledge of the person. A few days later, I was waiting for my friend after school, because they live near me and we go home together (they let their girlfriend drive their car to a clinic nearby because she was going into a medical field and worked there for experience) and my almost-stalker was there, near a rock pit (kind of important, I promise). So, because me and my friend and my almost-stalker are a group of gays, we were looking around the rock pit, picking up pretty rocks. As a small sign of friendship, I gave my almost-stalker a pretty rock I found. Later, she got my number from a friend. That evening, she was texting me, and said that she liked me (specifically, one of the questions of "what would you do if I liked you"), so I replied as kindly as I could, saying I didn't like her back. A half hour later, she was asking where I lived. After two answers of just the town I was in and the area nearby she said "It's OK. I will only watch you through you windows" (actual quote from her). I am a very paranoid person, and I was getting VERY nervous, texting two of my friends about it (the one who gave my phone number to her and another friend mostly unrelated with the incident). The one friend who gave my number (who was apparently high at the time) was joking about giving her my address because "it would be funny". So there I was, crying, hands shaking texting my other friend how scared I was about it. I kind of just didn't reply to my almost-stalker, though she was trying to find out where I lived still, through something I said. I haven't really talked to the girl since, though I tried my best to get a sick day because of how terrified I was of going to school the next day. I'm fine, a little paranoid still, but fine 👍 (sorry this is so long)

i've never had a stalker, so i can't say i know exactly what that's like - but i think i can relate to that feeling of paranoia

over the past couple years i've lived in some dangerous areas, and i've had people jump me in the street, wait for me outside buildings, and follow me home; and sometimes i feel as though i'll spend the rest of my life never being truly safe

it's an awful feeling, and i wouldn't wish it on anyone

i know you sent this months ago now, so i don't know if you'll read this, and i'm really sorry for not responding when you first sent this; but i hope you're still doing okay <3