#also while i was in there i decided to get a cheap costume aka

[misqnon]

cat snowglobe.....

[nanenna]

Today I remembered that my favorite thing about having so many AUs is to pick up 2 AUs like Barbie dolls and clack their faces together while making smooching noises.

Behold my beloved DCxDP AU amalgamation monster: DeamonTwinAU and PhantomThiefAU (aka: Selina gives Danny a slutty slutty cat suit, good times)

The story vaguely goeth thusly: Danny is a halfa, the Balance, the Bridge Between Worlds, he is....... the Observants' glorified gofer. You see, there are a lot of cursed/enchanted/ghostly artefacts floating around loose in the living Realm and they need Danny to go retrieve them. Danny would rather not, but they just won't leave him alone about it. Can't a guy just live? At least let him poop in peace! Ancients! Fine, he'll do it if it'll get them to shut up. (Spoiler: it does, in fact, not get them to shut up.)

But you see, Danny has a secret: he was raised in an assassin ninja cult (at least for the early years) before getting adopted by the Fentons. Now the killing? Not a fan, no thanks, he's working on not increasing his kill count, thx. But the sneaking? He could use that. Sneaky ninjas are also good thieves, right? So he cobbles together a knock off League of Assassins outfit, buys a cheap portable lock picking set, and decides to make a game of how far can he get without using his powers (much. He's new at this okay?)

Batman is not having fun. There's some (possible?) League assassin running around stealing verified cursed/magical artefacts! Is Talia planning something? Is Ra's planning something? (Isn't he for real dead? Silly reader, no one is ever for real dead in DC.)

Robin is super frustrated. For all the same reasons Batman is but also because he just knows this new rogue is taunting him. Personally. Because he's Damian al Ghul Wayne and the whole world revolves around him, obviously. (And also because he once pointed at Robin and laughed before jumping out a window.)

Selina is intrigued. Who is this kid? How does he know what to go after? How does he keep evading the bats? Luckily she runs into him mid heist (fortunately they had different targets, she's intrigued but not enough to hand over her shinies to him) and oh he's adorable! She has to train him, it would drive Brucie up the wall. But then she sees his face and oh, she knows exactly who he is, even if he seems oblivious.

Because Danny? He's in Gotham for the ecto, for the Thomas Wayne full ride scholarship he managed to snag, and also because for some reason Gotham is full of so many cursed/ghost artefacts. (Lady Gotham is seething, she worked hard to collect all those curses! But this is her beloved dark knight's kid and she kinda wants him home. But she also doesn't want to give up her curses!) Back to the point: Danny doesn't care about ANY of the rich bougie people. The Waynes give out a lot of scholarships? Cool, that's nice and all. They probably also rub elbows with Vlad or Sam's parents. No thanks. Doesn't care. He's got better things to worry about.

Selina has got a plan though! She's gonna teach this boy how to thief properly, starting with better tools (including the slutty, slutty cat burglar outfit). She also knows that she can't let any of the Waynes (in or out of costume) meet Danny (out of costume). So does Lady Gotham. So does the universe apparently (or just Clockwork maybe), because all kinds of unlikely things keep happening to prevent it.

Danny is having so much fun though! He's learning new skills. Selina is giving him an allowance so he's not living off ramen and peanut butter sandwiches, he's doing well in school, he gets to stretch his ghost powers regularly to go above the smog cover and star gaze in peace. Everything's coming up Danny.

Selina decides it's time to flaunt her find in front of Brucie and makes Danny go to a gala as her date, she spends the entire time clinging to his arm and introducing him around to everyone. Including Bruce himself (who just so happens to have Damian in tow). Danny may not recognize Bruce, but he sure recognizes Damian, and Damian recognizes him if his utterly flabbergasted face is anything to go by. But Danny remembers what it was like living in the League. And so far as he knows Damian is still in it, he was the Demon Head's heir after all. Damian made sure of it.

Oh it. Is. ON! Now Danny is on a mission! A sibling rivalry mission! He is going to make Damian's/Robin's a living hell. Selina going on a heist that has no magical artefacts? Danny's there anyway, always have back up. That necklace in the museum has barely any powers and he wasn't even going to bother with it? Too bad, it's back on the list. He has no reason to be out at all but the bats are on patrol? Well so is Danny. Catch him if you can, suckers!

It's good for Danny, it's enrichment!

[whatthefishh]

Happy Halloween, Steven

Steven Grant x F!Reader

Summary: this was supposed to be a fluff piece and then I thought about how Steven would look in his costume and how I'd probably react to it so. You guys get light smut.

Warnings: 18+, smut, heavy petting, handjob, jealous coworkers lol

Author's note: Thanks to @villainvindicator and @kittyofalltrades for helping me decide how to go about certain parts of this story :) xo

Jake is written in bold, Marc in italics, sorry if its OOC I was just having the best time writing this LOL

Word count: 2.5k

This wasn’t really how Steven imagined the annual Halloween party the National Gallery threw for its staff to go, but let’s just say he was over the moon with how his night was going.

The entire staff was being forced to go. Steven didn’t necessarily dislike parties but he wasn’t the best in social settings either. He felt a little better going to outings with Marc and Jake around now, it felt like he wasn’t going entirely alone. Plus, he did really enjoy Halloween. 

Although Marc grumbled the whole week leading up to the party about having to dress up and how lame he thinks it all is, Jake was quietly supportive of Steven putting himself out there more and more. Especially since he picked up on his little crush on you.

Jake noticed that every time you’d rush by the gift shop, piles of paperwork haphazardly collected in your arms, heels clicking on the floors trying to make it to your destination without bumping into anyone, Steven would stop whatever he was doing and just blankly follow your movements with his eyes until you were gone. This happened maybe a handful of times per day, and every time it was the same: Steven would longfully gaze after you, sigh dramatically and then return his attention back to the task at hand. Marc usually mentally clocked out when Steven literally clocked in, so only Jake really knew about this little reaction Steven had towards you aka dopey heart eyes anytime you were in the vicinity. 

Tonight’s party was a Halloween costume party, being held in the gallery’s dining hall, but it was supposed to be decked out by the party planning committee. Steven was slightly bitter towards the committee, led by Donna, since they didn’t let him help when he offered. You were on it, too, which was honestly part of the reason why he offered to help to begin with, hoping to get a word in with you, but Donna quickly interrupted your conversation to shut him down as rudely as she always does. 

Steven had his costume picked out for a while, thinking it made him look bloody handsome, if he did say so himself. Jake helped him style his hair into a neater, slicked back look instead of his usual unruly curls to better match the outfit. Marc teased Steven saying that he was trying too hard for a bunch of coworkers that didn’t give a shit if he showed or not. Needless to say, Steven did not like that. 

“Oi! Just because Donna’s insufferable, doesn’t mean they all are! There are some people I actually like at work.” 

Yeah you’re a real social butterfly.

Marc, stop being such a culo. Steven, you better talk to her tonight.

Oh? This whole getup is for a girl?

Steven has to admit when he purchased his Captain Hook costume, the idea of you and what you would possibly dress up as dipped into his daydreams enough times. The shopkeeper looked entirely too thrilled when Steven tried on the black pleather pants, maroon vest and long black overcoat complete with gold hardware detailing and a fake sword for his belt. He also pressured him into buying some cheap eyeliner to drive the pirate look home. It was definitely not Steven’s first choice (initially he’d asked for Prince Charming) but upon looking at himself in the tri-fold mirror and seeing how the tight pleather pants made his thighs and rear look, he readily agreed, secretly hoping it would catch your attention. 

If we’re gonna be here, at least we look good. 

Deep breath, hermano. Look, there she is. 

Again, WHO?

As soon as Steven walked in, it was almost magnetic how his eyes zeroed in on you; animatedly describing something with your hands to the angel with bright white, oversized wings next to you over the blaring dance music. His eyes widened and mouth dropped open slightly once he took in the sight of you, in a tiny, tiny sparkly, green number, hem cut in a zigzag pattern, clear high heels to give the illusion that you were floating, with petite green wings to match. The dress was much shorter than he expected to see you in, especially for a work party, but he was guessing you probably didn’t realize the effect it was having on those around you and honestly? He’s not complaining because where the hell have you been hiding those legs this whole time?! 

He was beginning to attract attention just standing at the door of the hall, yet again caught staring at you with a dopey look on his face. It didn’t occur to Steven that he could be attracting attention because of how damn fine he looked tonight, pleasantly surprising some of the staff with his defined muscles on display with his costume choice - the pleather didn’t leave much up to imagination. He quickly made his way over to the food table, as one does with anxiety at a party, and scoured the table for vegan friendly options with shaking hands. Why did he come to this party again? What if nobody talked to him? What if he made a fool out of himself? Why did he think this costume was a good idea? They probably think he looks ridiculous, that's why they’re all staring…

Fighting the urge to nervously run his hands through his gelled hair, Steven stood fidgeting with his jacket and finally looked around the room to catch a handful of the more forward women blatantly staring at him bent over the table stacking his plate sky high, promptly choking on his food at the numerous eyes on him. Rushing to the punch bowl in an attempt to wash his food down before he further embarrassed himself, he didn’t notice you also approaching and narrowly avoided bumping into you. 

“Are you…alright? Steven, right?” you asked just as he managed to gulp down half his cup of punch, nearly causing him to choke again as he swiveled around to face you. 

“Uh hiya, yeah I’m Steven, Steven is me,” he tried to laugh at the end of that horrible, horrible introduction. He already knew your name, but pretended to ask anyway so as not to seem like a creep, which you confirmed with an easy smile. He tried so desperately not to look away from your face while you were talking but it was proving to be challenging, especially now that Marc perked up at your presence. 

This is her? He playfully laughed. Steven, where have you been hiding this little nymph?

Steven wasn’t that guy, he would not be the guy caught staring at your breasts while you were showing him kindness and striking up a conversation by the punch bowl, like the nice girl he was sure you were, he would not, could not blow this chance with you. But God was it making him break a sweat at the effort. He tried to focus on some part of your face so that his gaze wouldn’t stray but then he got caught up in your eyes and the meticulous makeup you applied that accentuated the soft glow of your skin, trailing down to the perfect pink pout you wore tonight and-

She’s asking you a question, cabrón.

Ah, shit, he was not listening. Did you know he wasn’t listening? He thinks he’s ruined it now, for sure. His eyes betrayed his inner turmoil and panic, quickly making his whole demeanor tense which you picked up on with concern and asked again, “You sure you’re alright?” You ask as you move closer to him. He’s tall enough to see down your dress now and he quickly closes his eyes and inhales deeply. 

This is torture. There’s a promising pink flush gracing your cheeks when he opens his eyes to look down at you. The track changes, something with a heavier bass starting up.

Do not. Fuck. This up, Steven. She’s hot, and likes what she sees.

Sí, parece que le gustas, this might work. 

“Y-yeah, m’alright, more than actually,” he says, schooling his features into what he thinks is a coy smile but on Steven’s open and honest face just screams ‘I really like how close you’re standing next to me’. 

You’re perceptive, he will soon learn. You’ve actually noticed him gaping at you a few times you rush past the gift shop in your hurry to get to your meetings on time, but you never get the chance to stop and chat with the cute, tousled-looking man behind the counter. You’ve taken notice though, especially tonight, with his tight black pants about to bust at the seams. 

You’re smiling at him encouragingly, hoping Steven will catch on to your advances as you slowly lift your hand to finger at the lapels of his jacket, eyes slowly blinking up at him, looking over his face for a reaction. “I was just saying how it's a shame we don’t get to talk more at work,” you supply him with bits of your previous conversation. The other women who were watching this play out are scoffing at how obvious you’re laying it on for him, muttering bitterly amongst each other as they shift their attention elsewhere for the night. You have faith he’ll catch on, eventually. Hopefully. 

“Me, too, I-I know you must be busy though, Donna definitely would ‘ave my head if she saw me bein’ friendly with anyone on the clock. Bit crazy, that one.” He manages to get out even with your close proximity and finger touching him through his clothes. Steven was going to slowly lose his mind if you kept dragging your finger on his clothes, your nail pressing into the fabric scandalously. There’s no way he could be misinterpreting this anymore. 

Dude she wants you, stop fucking around. 

And then you’re leaning up to whisper to him and he can feel the heat of your breath hit the shell of his ear and your breasts graze his arm, hair slightly brushing against his face in your movement; he can feel his dick twitch in his too tight pants, and it sounds like you’re smiling around your words as you say, “I could use some air, care to join me, Captain Hook?” Pulling back to look at him with eyes he couldn’t say no to let alone form words around. Steven thinks he agreed to join you because the next thing he knew he was being led out the doors to the main gallery by his hand, trailing after you like a puppy. Maybe Marc jumped in for a second back there. He’d have to thank him later.

You don’t stop pulling him behind you, occasionally looking back to giggle at his expression, until you reach the bathrooms on the other side of the gallery. He didn’t notice how long you two were walking, taking the opportunity to zone out at your legs effortlessly floating in those damn clear heels and the gentle sway of your hips as you brazenly walked in front of him. 

Marc must have fronted again because he suddenly finds himself caging you in against the bathroom counter, standing in between your legs, hands spreading them as wide as they can in your obscenely short dress, as you sit between the sinks and you’re pulling him closer, closer, closer, until your lips meet in a hot, open mouth kiss. Steven’s hands are roving over your body, nonstop, from gripping your hips to squeezing your waist to ever so softly cupping your breast, and you moan into his mouth when he hesitantly swipes his thumb across your nipple through your dress. Your hands are in his hair, meeting slight resistance due to the product he’s used to tame his curls, his matching groans of desire echoing off the bathroom walls. You’re smiling into the kiss now, pulling back for air as you lean your head back giving Steven access to your neck which he happily attacks with his mouth, lightly nipping you in the process. 

So - you didn’t think you were gonna end up with your hand down Steven’s pants - or rather Steven’s pants hanging around his knees - but you’re okay with it, more than okay with it considering you unzipped them to begin with even though he had to pull back to look at you to make sure he wasn’t making a fool of himself. 

“O-oh, please, love,” he stutters out as you massage the head of his cock, thumb swiping over the slit. There was nothing you wanted more than to make Steven lose control in his stupid hot costume in the work bathrooms. He’s already breathing shakily, eyes rolling back as you work your fist up and down his cock, as you watch mesmerized, cataloging his face to memory. 

Ahh, is this how every work event is gonna go from now on? You guys hiring, Steven? 

Marc, we shouldn’t be here for this… As gorgeous as this little tinkerbell is

Steven tries to ignore the voices of his headmates as you continue to work him up, leaning forward to lick into your mouth partially to muffle his sounds and partially to not blow his load right there at the way you’re looking at him. He starts thrusting his hips into your hand, making you wetter just by watching him give in to his baser instincts.

“God, I’m not gonna last, love,” he whines out for you. 

“Good,” you purr against his mouth. 

His brow starts to furrow, and he looks up at you with a needy gaze as you pump your fist tighter, faster, your other hand reaching up to tug his hair back and he comes with a shout, eyes clenched tightly together and chest heaving. 

You’re still slowly gripping his limp dick as you both look down to see his spend all over your thighs, leaking from his tip, dripping down your hand. He shyly meets your eyes as he hums happily and reaches for the paper towel stack behind where you’re perched to clean up his mess. When he comes back to wipe the white ropes off your thighs, you’re already tasting him and his jaw drops open at the sight of you smiling mischievously around your finger. You end up taking the paper towel from his hand and cleaning yourself up because Steven’s brain seems to have short circuited - something you’re very smug about at the moment. He has to shake himself out of his stupor to properly tuck himself away, and voices his concern about you not getting your own happy ending. 

“Oh, we’re not done for the night, Hook,” you grin before pecking him and then gracefully hopping off the counter to stand pressed up against him. 

“You’re so bloody gorgeous,” he mutters in amazement.

Told you it would work, hermano.

Steven, I swear to God if you don’t take care of her, I will. 

Marc didn’t need to front anymore that night. 

Taglist: @dameronscopilot @unspokenmoon @romanarose @milkymoon2483 @soonknight @lucianadraven32 @xbellaxcarolinax @raven-rk @twwcs @bit-dodgy-innit @einno-arko @my-secret-shame-but-fanfiction @sadsatsumahead

[charlesandmiranda]

Kyoto to Tokyo: Staying in Kawasaki

We left at checkout from Kyoto (2/11) and took the shinkansen (aka the bullet train) to Tokyo. We initially had two plans: visit a temple we like that has a flea market on Sundays, and visit Yoyogi Park where the rockabilly guys perform on Sundays. We were staying in Kawasaki where our friend was taking us to a restaurant, which is about 45 minutes from Shinjuku, and closer to Kyoto.

Our only mistake was not stopping in Kawasaki to drop off our bags. We thought we could take them to Shinjuku and put them in a coin locker while we were doing things. The coin lockers, while plentiful, were all in use, so we dragged our bags 15 (normal) minutes to the shrine, poked around the market, and decided to skip Yoyogi to get back and drop off our bags. Carrying bags and switching hotels often was the negative of our travel, taking a lot of energy and time we could have put elsewhere.

The name of this shrine is Hanazono shrine, we've visited it at some point on nearly all our trips to Japan!

After Hanazono shrine, we rubber banded back to Kawasaki, where we were staying for the night. Our hotel was pretty old style, somewhere between a love hotel and a business hotel, in a quiet and older part of the city, but about 10 minutes from the station where the restaurant we would be visiting was. We ate lunch, relaxed, and charged up before meeting our friend. Shops like this that sell rice or noodle sets are plentiful and cheap.

The restaurant we went to for dinner is called Kaiju Sakaba, a bar and restaurant owned by Tsubaraya, the tokusatsu (think Power Rangers as an example) company that created and produces Ultraman, an extremely popular Japanese superhero. There is a new Ultraman show every year, so costumes are always being produced and maintained for broadcast and live events. Every Sunday, the restaurant has a costumed actor come and visit the patrons. When you enter the restaurant, you have to be scanned to see if you are capable of becoming an Ultraman. If not, you are allowed to dine among the villains. It's cute, the monster themed food and drinks are very good. We got our photo taken with the Alien Pitt, a reoccuring monster that was originally made in the 70s and has been used in the last few seasons. This is almost certainly a screen used costume.

Every dish and drink is themed, for example the salad plate asks a quote from a villain character from the original Ultraman series, who tries to bargain with a child to get permission to take ownership of the world. When you finish eating, you use the utensil on the dish to indicate your answer. I said no, the employees threatened me.

The walls are lined with signatures from actors, writers, and voice actors from Ultraman shows. There are also a lot of high end toys and decorations. Videos of monsters eating at the restaurant play and a loop of episodes where the Ultraman of a given series gets beat up by monsters plays.

We had our photo taken with the Alien Pitt, and one with our friend. She said she visits the restaurant often with her family. It was a very cute experience.

After we parted ways with our friend, we checked out a Taito game center nearby; which is a chain of arcades we've seen all over. We played a bit of House of the Dead (A zombie shooting game; this appeared to be an updated remake of one I remember seeing in movie theater lobbies and arcades back in the day), raced each other in Mario Kart, tried our luck at more claw machines, and used a Purimania machine, which is like a photo booth on steroids; it has tons of options for stickers and makeup and automatically applies tons of filters to warp your face into an "ideal" anime-ized version of yourself. They are a little off putting at first but at the same time, I do think they're kinda cute! haha

[marzipanandminutiae]

Boozerton 2020 (long post)

DISCLAIMER: I AM A HISTORICAL COSTUMER/FASHION HISTORY NERD. I KNOW BR*DGERT*N IS NOT MEANT TO BE HISTORICALLY ACCURATE . THIS IS ALL PURELY SUBJECTIVE, SELF-INDULGENT SNARK. I DO NOT ACTUALLY HOLD THE SHOW TO ANY KIND OF ACCURACY STANDARDS. ALSO I APPRECIATE THE DECISION TO CAST ACTORS OF COLOR IN LEAD ROLES AND HOPE IT LEADS TO MORE OF THE SAME. THEIR COSTUMING CHOICES ARE ENTIRELY VALID EVEN IF THEY ARE NOT CHOICES I LIKE. I AM ALSO A LITTLE BIT DRUNK STILL

PROCEED AT YOUR OWN RISK

so one of my other historical costuming friends and I decided to watch the first episode of Br*dgert*n together on Zoom. with wine. we’ve both mostly been ignoring it in “don’t like; don’t watch” vein, but this seemed like a fun exercise we could do even during our COVID-enforced separation

I took notes. I transcribe and augment them here still slightly under the influence of cheap-ass pink moscato. best read while watching the episode yourself

that is so very not how Regency stays work. you can’t tightlace in them, and even if you could, nobody’s going to see her waist in those empire dresses anyway. ESPECIALLY not Redhead’s waist, since the designers put most of her waistlines like at or just below her bust apex (fullest point) and as a consequence she looks 12

why is nobody wearing chemises? are they not Sexy enough? do the designers not know chemises exist? I’m going to start a free Zoom course for designers called Chemises Are A Thing, just in case. it’s just me shouting “CHEMISES ARE A THING” over and over

I actually kind of like Redhead’s court gown. it looks pretty good. it looks like a French court gown instead of the godsawful English ones with empire-waist hoop skirts, but I don’t have any major issues with it. nice train. nice feathers. the head-feathers were actually required court-wear; court-wear had Rules. so clearly research was done

WHY ARE THEY TELLING PLUMP GIRL TO USE “ARSENIC AND LEAD” FOR HER COMPLEXION. first of all, lead makeup was pretty much not a Thing anymore by 1813. second of all, the arsenic thing comes from a travelogue written in like the 1850s, about a bunch of people in Austria who ate tiny amounts of arsenic and supposedly had great skin as a result. it was not a known practice in most of the world- including England -during the 1810s.

Upstart Nouveau Riche Mom and her friend taking tea post-presentation give me big Mother-of-the-Bride At A Boston Public Library Tearoom Bachelorette Party vibes. it’s a very specific energy. just trust me on this

mostly this vibe comes from the feather fascinator on Mom’s friend

is. is the opera singer wearing a black lace negligee as she shags Redhead’s brother, AKA Jonas Brother

I think she is

I just wrote “shit-tiaras” and I think that sums up my reaction to all the tiaras after the presentation scene nicely

however. that IS one aspect I totally get re: this whole affair being fun and Romantic and aspirational for viewers who are less history-nitpicky

they’re only shit-tiaras to me because they’re not Regency tiaras

man these dress waistlines are all over the place, and it’s not doing the actresses any favors

Redhead continues to look 12, between the waistlines, the loose hair, the baby bangs, and her generally Young face

Plump Girl is supposed to be tacky and I get that (assuming her mother picked her dresses or something?) but the tit-butterfly is so unfortunate. poor thing, given that the actress is so pretty and could potentially look gorgeous in Regency

I like Broody Duke’s ball outfit with that red velvet coat

WHO HAD “MEN WEARING BOOTS ALWAYS” ON THEIR BINGO CARD. paging @vinceaddams​- they did it again!

there’s just. a lot of bangs. it’s a bangs party and everyone is invited

I’m sorry is the maid TWEEZING BACK THAT ONE TACKY SISTER’S HAIRLINE? is this like 1590???

history would be a lot funnier if afternoon calls actually worked like a reverse harem anime

I would actively pay to take a blowtorch to Redhead’s riding outfit. it’s not historical but moreover it’s not even appealing

her hair is finally up but her hat is literally just a hat brim with a hole in the middle for her bun and like some netting

there could have been a Cute Little Top Hat. even modern audiences like Cute Little Top Hats

also the riding habit looks Star Trek, but in a bad way

Lady Badass Pelisses is my everything. I actually like 95% of her Looks so far. it’s all burgundy pelisses with some Renaissance revival standing collars and gold embroidery. this pleases me so much. I’m not really paying attention to the plot so I have no clue who she is, but I would kill for her and her many excellent pelisses

...except the sheer organza one. because what even is a sheer organza pelisse good for?! pelisses are outerwear!

this whole show is sponsored by sheer organza

this is exactly why small children didn’t attend formal dinner parties. someone needs to shoo the babbies upstairs to the nursery and send them up plates via dumbwaiter, per usual

I devolved into calling all the white men “Jonas Brother” at this point because they all look like Jonas Brothers. unable to tell if Regency men’s hairstyles just look more Jonas Brother than I’ve previously realized or if the actors have JB-ish faces

my male friends never look like Jonas Brothers in Regency. so maybe it’s the actors

the infamous stay-induced scabs on Redhead are, in fact, accurate...if you doN’T WEAR A DAMN SHIFT

YES CORRECT THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT SHIFTS ARE FOR

O IF ONLY THERE WAS A GARMENT TO PREVENT EXACTLY THIS PROBLEM

NOPE WOMEN JUST GOT CHAFED AND BLED ALL OVER EVERYTHING FOREVER UNTIL BRAS WERE INVENTED. SO SAD. SO TRAGIC. SUCH PATRIARCHY

one time I wore insufficient liner under a corset and my armpits got chafed places that took like two weeks to fully heal. and that was only after four hours. wear your chemise/combinations/liner folks

wait so hold on. not only are the household staff apparently checking Sad Cousin’s sheets for period blood, but it’s just...ASSUMED that she’d bleed on them? wouldn’t she like. wear her T-bandage or clout or homemade tampon or whatever to bed to avoid exactly that?

oh. oh no

they think people who menstruated just free-bled don’t they?

how exactly you’d keep the expensive bedazzled white gowns clean under those circumstances is obviously not addressed

everybody loves a fake dating AU

honestly I don’t get why you’d miss the chance to do this one very specific Regency waltz hand-holding position

(that, but  you’re facing each other with your raised hands above both your heads, palm-to-palm. your faces are of necessity REALLY close to each other. it’s super-romantic)

anyway, my final sobering-up takeaway was just...is this even aspirational? do people who aren’t into historical clothing read romance novels and imagine this sort of thing? do they imagine looking approx. 12 and having support garment-induced scabs and wearing clothes that don’t flatter their bodies at all? 

everyone who’s into it is saying they love the costumes and the show, so I guess none of that’s an issue for them. but like. it doesn’t seem like the way I would have imagined attending a glittering, romantic ball even when I knew less about dress history. I swooned over the ball scenes in My Fair Lady and Phantom of the Opera (2004), which weren’t accurate at all but still seemed at least Ye Olde Timey

this just feels very modern. the ball scene reminded me of a prom more than anything. and isn’t the point of period romance to get lost in another world that looks alien to your own in beauty and elegance? to imagine yourself in gowns of the sort that you CAN’T see in today’s fashion shows?

maybe fantasies have changed. and I know a lot of care, money, and work went into making the Br*dgert*n costumes. I just. don’t see the appeal for a lot of it, even apart from the accuracy or lack thereof

also I should bedazzle more of my ball gowns

Marzi out

[psychedelic-ink]

A/N: This is a gift for the amazing @lirulee she asked for a self insert with Mihawk and a bit spice to it! I hope you enjoy it and merry early christmas love ! also I listened to the nutcracker so many times while writing this uwu

Summary: Mihawk wants to do something truly special on christmas for Liru, he comes up with an idea...hopefully Liru likes it. 

Genre: Romance/Lemon (aka ns.fw) 

Word Count: 1718 k

Warnings: Mihawk wearing something unfashionable. 

Prompt: The Nutcracker 

With a sigh, Mihawk brushed away the strand of hair that had fallen upon Liru’s face. She was sleeping peacefully, her head right on top of his lap. His hawk like gaze shifted from her to the christmas three that was across from the couch, thanks to Liru the tree was heavily decorated with colorful bulbs and shimmering rainbow like fairy lights. It was quite beautiful, and even if he hadn’t admitted it decorating the tree with her was quite fun and amusing. 

He wanted to do something special for her, something that would make tomorrow night memorable. 

Mihawk’s mind wandered for a while, he was sure that Liru would be happy with any surprise but he truly wanted it to be something that would make her truly happy. He thought about the day they decorated the three together, she had mentioned something about a nutcracker...what was it? A ballet? Liru mentioned to him that she would dance to it on her wedding day, of course Mihawk had found the idea absurd. The nutcracker had nothing do with a wedding but then again if it was special for her it was special to him too. 

He would have to make a visit to Perona tomorrow. 

“What do you mean they sold out?” 

His voice was normal but Perona could tell that Mihawk was furious, his eyes always gave it away. Perona sighed as she placed a cup of black coffee infront of her usual customer. 

“The ballet is today.” she said, did he really think he could find tickets at the last minute? “Of course they’re sold out, it's like the most famous ballet shows out there.” 

“I guess you’re right.” he grumbled, staring at his coffee. 

“This was for Liru right?”

Mihawk nodded, his gaze still fixated on the cup. Perona couldn’t believe he was so down about not being able to go to a ballet. She placed her fingers ever so delicitely on her shin, thoughtful, she stood in silence only for a second when an idea shaped. 

“Liru is out until dinner time right?” her enthusiastic voice managed to make Mihawk snap out of it and look at her. “Why don’t you turn the living room into the nutcracker? I’ve seen the house, you two have plenty of room.” 

“That...might work. What did you had in mind exactly?”

“You could buy costumes,” Perona said, losing herself in the romantic fantasy. “Decorate the room with white fairy light, and light candles, then put the song on so you could offer her to dance with you,” she sighed. “I wish I had someone to do that for me, you two are so lucky.” 

Mihawk looked thoughtful for a moment before smiling at his usual waitress. 

“That’s actually a great idea, thank you so much Perona.” he quickly got up and placed a handful of bills on the table. “I’ll take my leave now, keep the change.” 

Mihawk was a perfectionist, so him checking the preparations he had made a million times wasn’t out of the question. He took a step back to look at it all, like Perona had said, he had bought white fairy lights, candles that smelled of marshmallows and delicious christmas baked goods. He had truly transformed the living room into an icy paradise. The laptop’s screen showed the nutcracker, ready to play the music as soon as Liru entered the living room. 

He was quite proud to be honest, the only issue he had was with the outfit he was wearing. Of course since it was last minute all the good outfits were gone, so the only thing left was a cheap, bright red nutcracker costume. To be fair he didn’t think he looked that bad, but the feeling of cheap fabric against his skin made him feel highly uncomfortable. The worst part was that he also had a hat that came with the costume, a comedically tall nutcracker hat. It was atrocious. 

Mihawk took his place next to the three, at least Liru’s dress was quite beautiful. It would make her shine even further. His eyes landed on the clock up on the wall, she should be here any minute now. 

And just as faith would have it he heard keys going into a lock. 

“I’m baack,” Liru shouted as she entered. “You won’t believe what I got, a dozen of gingerbread cookies. They were on sale too!” 

Mihawk said nothing and patiently waited for Liru to come to him. Finally her soft steps became closer and she appeared at the door frame. Not knowing how to stand, Mihawk just placed his hands on his hips. 

Liru’s eyes scanned the living room, her mouth agape, her green eyes widened. The bag she was holding fell to the ground and she took a step inside, entering the winter wonderland. Then her eyes landed on Mihawk, seeing the cheap costume on him made her burst out in laughter. Clutching her stomach, Liru bent over as a laughing fit took over her. 

“What the hell are you wearing?” Liru asked between giggles, she straightened up and wiped a tear from her eye. 

A small smile formed on Mihawk’s lips, her laughter was music to his ears. 

“Can’t you tell?” he asked, amused. “I’m the nutcracker.” 

“The...nutcracker?” 

Before Liru could comprehend what was going on Mihawk closed the distance and took her hand into his. He placed a gentle kiss on top of her hand, his mustache tickling her skin. Then he placed her hand on his chest, right on top of his heart, which was frantically beating in his chest. A faint blush covered Liru’s cheeks as she saw two golden eyes bore into her. 

“Will you have this dance with me?”

“D-Dance?”

“You have to get dressed first, of course.”

“Dressed?!” 

Mihawk’s lips spread out into a devilish smile. 

“Of course, did you think I would suffer alone?” 

When Liru stood in front of Mihawk she was as red as a tomato. The dress was pretty decent compared to Mihawk’s outfit, it was a cliche ballerina dress with a puffy skirt. The skirt was made out of faint blue and pink tulles. It was a strapless dress and the chest area pressed her breasts together, the more that she thought about it the more she liked the dress Mihawk had picked out for her. 

When she found the courage to witness his reaction, she was left in awe. Mihawk was uncharastically red and his eyes were wide. Liru noticed him swallow right before walking up to the laptop and clicking the song to play. He quickly made his way towards her and extended his hand. 

“May I?”

“You may.” Liru answered, giggling. 

Mihawk swiftly pulled Liru closer to him, their chests flushed against each other. He gently took her hand and he led her into a slow dance following the rhythm of the song Liru had listened to so many times.  

“This is nice.” Liru said, still speechless. 

“I’m glad you think so,” Mihawk twirled her around with one hand. “I really wanted to make tonight special.” 

“Well mission accomplished.” she replied with a bright smile. “I’m very pleased with where I am right now.” 

Their eyes were locked onto each other as they swayed with the music, that is until Mihawk decided to do something unscripted and leaned down to kiss her. 

Not expecting a kiss so early in the night Liru gasped as he placed his lips over hers, the kiss was gentle and passionate at the same time. It felt like Mihawk had poured all of his emotion into the simple gesture, he loved her as simple as that and Liru could feel it all. 

Their dancing comes to a halt as the tone of the kiss shifts into one of hunger. Mihawk slid his tongue between her lips and explored every inch of her warm cavern. Liru moaned into the kiss and pressed further against him, Mihawk broke the kiss and left open mouthed kisses from her jaw to her neck. She shivered at the feeling.

Mihawk licked, sucked and bit into her flushed skin. Liru’s legs were already trembling with the stimulation, quickly he grabbed her and laid her on the couch. The music still playing in the background Mihawk was quick to rip off the cheap costume off of him, hovering over her with mere boxers. He lifted her skirt up and slid her underwear to the side, he was pleased to see that she was already soaking wet. 

Lifting his gaze up from her core, Mihawk fixated his gaze onto her. 

“I don’t think I can wait any longer, can I?”

Liru quickly nodded, her mind feeling hazy, she couldn’t even form words. Mihawk pulled out his throbbing cock out of his boxer shorts and aligned himself against her pussy. With one swift motion he buried himself deep inside of her, Liru’s back arched as her walls fluttered around his impressive length. 

Starting out slow, Mihawk started to thrust in and out of her, as her moans gradually became louder his thrusts became faster. With a growl he pulled down the upper part of her dress and grabbed her breasts. The lewd noises of him penetrating her mixed with the soft melodies of the nutcracker. Liru continuously shouted out Mihawk’s name as his movements became harder, she shut her eyes, the pleasure of it all becoming too much for her. 

“Liru,” Mihawk groaned. “I’m...ahh...close.” 

“Me too,” she replied. “Let’s cum together.”

Hearing those words Mihawk let go of one of her breasts and went to rub her clit. She screamed with pleasure and all of the sensations combined was enough to send Liru over the edge. Her walls clamped around Mihawk’s cock as her toes curled. Her whole body spasmed as she came, it was enough to push Mihawk over the edge as well. 

He quickly pulled out and with a loud moan he came all over Liru’s breasts and the newly bought dress. She looked so beautiful covered with his essence, Mihawk leaned in and placed a kiss on her forehead. 

“Are you okay?” he asked. 

“Yeah,” Liru replied, still breathless. “This is the best christmas ever.” 

Mihawk chuckled at the words and took a mental note to thank Perona later. 

[ailelie]

a nohorcrux!au in which Dudley decides to be decent sooner; aka, how Dudley got a boyfriend

Hermione became friends with Dudley by dint of being the only one of Harry’s friends who could use a telephone and Dudley being allowed on the phone when Harry was not.

Harry traded Mrs. Weasley’s sweets for a recap of Dudley’s conversations with Hermione. 

The arrangement had started thanks to a confluence of circumstances that had led Harry to requesting Hermione’s phone number in the first place and buying extra cauldron cakes on the train.

When Hermione visited Number Four, she did so as Dudley’s friend. Harry and Dudley did not mention she had magic. Hermione brought toothbrushes for the whole family--a move Harry thought was a bit much, but somehow solidified her worth in his aunt and uncle’s eyes.

After that, Hermione became “just a friend, Mum, seriously” and welcome at the house whenever she liked.

Harry and Hermione spent hours at the local park--with Dudley, of course, who was their excuse and who loomed awkwardly keeping his old friends away. 

Hermione didn’t mean to draw Dudley into the conversation, but she talked to him for a half hour every other night of the week. Not everything was about Harry. He was a bully, Dudley that is, but he’d confessed once to wanting to be better and, well, Hermione liked a project. 

And he did want to be better, but only because Hermione was a proper girl and decent and Dudley wanted to be worthy of her friendship.

Ron remained in the loop via letters to Hermione, which she passed on to Harry through her conversations with Dudley.

The whole matter was a tangle, but the practical effect was that, when school resumed, she discovered she rather missed the frequent chats. Dudley had a very direct way of thinking that cut through her own snarls sometimes.

For his part, Dudley had never resented Harry Hogwarts until befriending Hermione.

During the school year, Dudley wrote letters and Hermione returned novels. He took to carrying his letters around and adding on throughout the week until he had a respectable enough length to send. The practical effect of this was that each letter became a diary. He didn’t realize how much he opened himself to her.

He told her about his black eye earned defending a first year from upperclassmen.

She congratulated him and sent a packet of sugar quills.

Which is how Dudley learned one of his classmates also had family at Hogwarts. Apparently sucking on a Wizarding sweet where anyone could see was not the smartest of things to do. The classmate had always been a strange one, but he informed Dudley that was because he was a Squib--someone without magic born into a magical family.

Dudley got plenty of opportunities to put his new altruism to the test defending the squib--Christopher Clearwater--from their classmates. Piers thought him mad, but followed along with the new regime with merely a roll of his eyes. The rest thought they could now challenge ‘Big D’ since he’d clearly gone soft.

Dudley disabused them of that notion, but did not resume his friendships, contenting himself with weird Christopher and ever-loyal Piers. Christopher was okay, but he was relieved to have kept Piers.

When the school year ended, the Clearwaters invited Dudley to visit and thus he received his first foray into the magical world. 

He didn’t tell Harry. Matters between the cousins remained purely business. Dudley was Harry’s personal telephone and Harry was Dudley provider of sweets. The arrangement worked. They had too much history to mess with the arrangement.

The point is, Dudley and Christopher went to Diagon Alley and Hermione was there with her parents. 

If Hermione’s parents were surprised by the appearance of the young man Hermione had been calling for a half hour every other night for the past couple years, they did not show it. Hermione knew their calm demeanor was a mask, though. She had endured too much teasing for her regular phone calls for it to be anything but. It did not matter how many times she explained she was really calling Harry. 

The Grangers invited Dudley and Christopher for ice cream. Hermione ran damage control. Her parents’ comments flew over Dudley’s head, she was sure, but his friend looked cannier. Then again, judging by Dudley’s flushed face and the amount of attention he was paying his bowl, maybe the comments were hitting exactly as intended.

“Sorry about them,” she said later all in a rush. “It isn’t that I don’t like you. As a friend. But. I don’t--”

“Like me,” Dudley finished, forcing a smile. “I get it.”

And he did. And, to be honest, he didn’t want her to like him. Not really. He just wanted to be worth her liking him.

When school resumed, he appointed himself the defender of the first years, instructing them all to find him if any upperclassmen did anything to them. 

Piers responded with the sarcastic gift of a cheap costume cape. 

“Did you get one for yourself too?” Dudley asked.

Piers smirked. “Naturally. You don’t mind being my sidekick, do you?”

“Sidekick?” Dudley’s brows raised. “I’ll show you ‘sidekick.’“

They scuffled and Piers laughed against Dudley’s neck before yielding.

Dudley included the moment in his weekly letter to Hermione. He did not realize how much detail he had placed into describing the exact sparkle in Piers’ eyes until five or six letters later when Hermione returned that section, with others, to him all neatly cut his letters.

In this reply, though, she only asked him to tell her more about his friend.

Five or six letters later, she asked if he liked him.

Dudley had not planned on having a sexuality crisis as a teenager. He did not thank Hermione for foisting one onto him.

Piers and Christopher both noticed something was wrong, because of course they did. When Piers finally confronted him, demanding, “What’s wrong?”

Dudley said the first thing to come to mind. “You’re fit.”

“What’s that got to--oh.” Piers shifted from foot to foot. “Do you want me to stay, or should I--?”

“Just go.” And Piers left.

Dudley still liked girls. Still thought Hermione was beautiful. He just really, really liked his best friend.

Everything went mostly back to normal, but Piers did not tease him quite as much and Dudley missed that.

He deliberately missed the whole first week of phone calls in retaliation. When he finally accepted one, he and Hermione spent the whole conversation arguing. The gist of his position being, “I didn’t need to know I fancied him!”

Harry later asked for a recap and Dudley had nothing to tell him. For once, his conversation with Hermione hadn’t been about Harry at all.

Hermione, for her part, organized every piece of information she could find on bisexuality and coming out until her parents bought a little rainbow decal for their car and told her they loved her no matter what. She felt a bit guilty for forcing a revelation Dudley hadn’t been ready to have yet, but if her Hogwarts experience had taught her anything it was that boys were impossible when it came to feelings.

Long story short, Piers visited later that summer and locked himself and Dudley in Dudley’s bedroom and said, “I think we should try it. Kissing.”

“And then?” Dudley asked, faint at the idea of kissing Piers.

“And then we decide what’s next.”

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Dudley asked, approaching Piers.

Piers gave him a familiar smirk. “Hey, who’s the brains of this operation?” But his voice shook. His hand, when it fell on Dudley’s shoulder, did not.

They kissed. It wasn’t fireworks, but it wasn’t a disaster either. And when Piers pulled back and said, “All right. I could stand doing that again” before pulling Dudley back to his lips, well, it was perfect.

The point of this all being--Dudley got a boyfriend because Hermione was the only one of Harry’s friends who could use a telephone and Dudley was allowed to accept calls while Harry was not.

[gotreactions]

Ateez Reaction: Disney Movie Theme Date (Fluff Series) 2/8

Part Two: Seonghwa

Movie: Beauty & The Beast

A little theatre by your place is playing old disney movies for a cheap price this weekend. Seonghwa already bought your tickets, knowing you would want to go, but he also wants to make the date more interesting and memorable for you.

A couple days before your date, Seonghwa went online & made a list of all the movies that were being played this Saturday (disney edition). He then printed out pictures to represent each of the movies; Lady & the Tramp, Cinderella, Pocahontas, ect. He then took a cork board and sticky taped all the pictures to it in a way where they were all close together, assuring one would get picked. He hung the board chest level, or really eye level for you, on the wall behind your supper table.

Taking the three darts from your dart board, he held them in his pocket as he hid behind the front door and waited for you to get home. He smiled plenty & eagerly awaited your arrival, feeling impatient and as though you were taking longer than usual. He was about to grab his phone, call you, ask where you are, but just as he was about to walk away from his spot, he heard your keys jangle.

Stiffening up behind the door, he bit his lip in anticipation. As the door opened slowly he blocked his face out of reflexes and waited for it to close behind you just so he could jump at you and give you a hug from behind. He leaned down slightly as he wrapped his arms around your waist and rested his chin on your shoulder.

"Welcome home princess."

He kissed your cheek as he slid his hands up your waist, taking them and placing them over your eyes, blacking your vision.

"I have a surprise for you!"

He lead you into your dining room, still covering your eyes as you asked a billion questions and let out that little laugh/giggle that he loves so much!

With you standing at the opposite side of the table away from the 'disney board', Seonghwa finally removed his hands from your eyes and pulled a single dart from his pocket, leaning down and whispering in your ear.

"Whatever movie you hit, with me covering your eyes, is the movie we're going to go see Saturday."

He took your dominate hand and put the dart in it as you scanned the board one last time, locking your eyes on your favorite movie and hoping to hit that one. At last, he covered your eyes with his hands once again as you raised your arm and got ready to throw the dart.

When the dart bounced off the board in failure, Seonghwa laughed a bit before grabbing the second dart and placing it in your hand like before.

"That was good, just maybe try using a bit more force this time."

He reassured you before covering your eyes for the third time and allowing you to do your thing. As your threw the dart, you ended up subconsciously bouncing on your toes and letting out a little grunt, in the cutest way possible. (According to your lover.)

Once again, the dart missed it's mark, hitting the frame of the board instead of one of the pictures. Taking the last dart from his pocket, Seonghwa placed it in your hand between your fingers before he held your hand at the same time.

"Maybe if we work together we'll be able to see a movie this weekend."

He teased you a bit as he swung your hands back and forth in the air gently, preparing to release the dart as he counted to three with you. On three, just before you let the dart go, he cupped your cheek in his free hand and turned it to him all at once, hitting your lips with his making contact just as the dart went flying out of your hands finally hitting a picture.

"Third times a charm..."

You whispered as a slight blush hit your cheeks. Agreeing with you, Seonghwa took your hands and walked you over to the board to see what your weekend plans are.

"Beauty & the Beast!"

You both say in sync. It may not have been your choice (or maybe it was), but at the end of the day, the best part of all this, was getting to spend time with your partner and see him. It's not easy between busy schedules, but he always makes the most of your time when y'all are together!

Thursday came around and Seonghwa wanted to get a few last minute things ready before your date. Late at night after practice, despite being tired, he drove to a boutique, or three, in order to get you guys the perfect outfits. He thought if you guys dressed up as the characters, everything would be more fun! So, he bought you a yellow gown just like Belles with an inclusive rose sewed onto the bust area. He made sure to have it fitted to your size perfectly, and even got 'My beauty. Love, your Beast' sewn onto the tag in memory. Of course, he got himself a formal blue tux matching the Beasts suit from the iconic dancing scene. After paying for everything, he left planning on coming back after practice tomorrow to pick up the outfits and to buy a few accessories.

Saturday morning, 9am, a few hours before the movie, Seonghwa showed up at your front door holding the outfits on their hangers and holding a single red rose. He knocked three times in a row, depsite having his own key, in hopes to surprise you.

When you opened the door with your bed head still a mess, casual clothes thrown on and makeup free, Seoghwas heart melted! You looked stunning, you first thing in the morning before getting ready for the day, was when you looked the best he felt. (Though, you always look perfect, and always will!)

"Good morning madmoiselle."

He bowed a little and pulled the rose out from behind his back, holding it out in front of himself and waiting for you to take it in your hands before he stood back up.

Following you back inside, he let you finish your breakfast as he went to your room/bathroom to set everything up and get it ready for when you were ready to get ready.

He hung the clothes on the towel rack/closet door, pulled up a tutorial on how to do hair and makeup like Belles so he could possibly help you get ready, he placed the jewelry on your table/counter top, ect.

Once you got to the room he waited for you to do whatever prep you need to do; brush your teeth, shower, whatever you do in the morning before getting dressed, as he fixed and styled his own hair and got himself ready for the date.

Once you were done, he sat you down and helped you do your hair while you did your own makeup. Seonghwa did his best to follow along with the tutorial but his confusion was showing on his face as his eyes traveled between the supplies he pulled out and the video. His hands fumbled some as he brushed/pulled your hair up and twisted it around. He got the small bun made, but it was a bit loose. In conclusion, despite him doing his best, your hair just looked a mess & you could barely tell that it was even inspired by Belle.

You felt a little bad for laughing at the mess on top of your head, but Seonghwa was glad you could find at least some ammusment out of his mess up. However, this stubborn man was refusing to give up. So, as you finished your makeup he took down your hair and brushed it out once more/deknotted & unwrapped it all before starting the video over and taking his time with it as you gave extra little tips.

After a few trial and errors, he managed to get youe hair looking right - with your help of course. With your hair and makeup now done, Seonghwa pulled out your dress and took it out of it's protective bag. Your face when you saw it was priceless! It felt like his soul was smiling seeing your face like this.

Soon enough, you were off changing your clothes and getting ready. Clothes, shoes, whatever accessories you decide to wear. Seonghwa waited patiently today, cleaning up the mess that was made as you got ready. He felt content and happy.

When you came back into the bath/room his jaw dropped and quickly turned into a smile. A 'wow'subtly fell from his mouth as you put on a little runway show and did a slow 360 for him. Seonghwa bent down on one knee, bowing like a knight before you.

"I am honored to he able to take you out my fair lady."

He shyly said half playfully before he took your dominate hand in his and gave the back of it a kiss.

At the theatre a short while before the movie, you two were standing in line buying snacks and drinks when people came up complimenting your outfits and how cute you guys are. Seonghwa would be lying if he said he didn't feel shy even in the slightest, but he was glad you got complimented and noticed. He squeezed your hand silently as he smiled and stared at you. The two of you made eye contact for a short minute before the lady behind the counter slid your snacks towards you both. He carried the food and let you take the drink, as he led you to the theatre room, guiding you to your favorite seats.

During the movie, you whispered some of the lines, not really realising you were doing it, but he found it very... You. At the same time, he licked his lips and bit them during all the 'intense' scenes as well as tapped his foot to the beat of the music. He had fun feeding you teasingly, holding your hand, and watching you as you stared at the screen. While the movie is fun to watch, you seemed like the award winning one here.

After the movie, he kissed your temple and helped you stand up as he went over how much fun he had. That's when a little kid came up and asked to take a picture with her 'idol' AKA you! The little girl was also in a Belle costume, her dad and mom behind her with a phone camera trying hard to not loud too loud. Seonghwa picked the little girl up and held her as the three of you pose 'Disney Style' in a cute position with happy faces. After taking a few pictures, the parents offered to take a picture of you two together as well. He let you decide what you wanted to do about that.

Afterwards, Seonghwa walked you out and listened to you as you laughed and talked about your favorite scenes, favorite memories, ect. Seeing you this happy, he didn't want to take you straight home, which is why you guys ended up going out to lunch at your favorite restraunt.

Overall, this date would be one that he remembers for a long time! Or possibly forever. He had fun surprising you and spending the day with you getting ready, taking you out, showing you off. This would be happening again soon for sure!

[ljones41]

"SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME" (2019) Review

"SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME" (2019) Review The Marvel Cinematic Universe finally ended its third phase with the release of its second Spider-man movie called "SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME". Released after the franchise's mega hit, "THE AVENGERS: ENDGAME", this second Spider-man movie is regarded as a follow-up to the previous film.

Set in June 2024, eight months after "ENDGAME", former S.H.I.E.L.D. director Nicholas Fury and his top aide, Maria Hill, investigate an unnatural sandstorm and discover it was created by a creature known as an Earth Elemental. A super-powered man from an alternate universe named Quentin Beck arrives to help them fight the creature. In New York City, those students who had been killed by Thanos' Snap and revived by the Hulk's "Blip" prepare to finish out the school year they had been forced to repeat. Among them are Peter Parker aka Spider-man and his fellow members of the school's academic decathlon team, who the school rewards with a two-week European vacation. Still grieving over the death of Tony Stark aka Iron Man, Peter anticipates enjoying the trip and using it as an opportunity to confess his growing feelings for fellow classmate, Michelle "MJ" Jones. However, while the Midtown students are in Venice, Italy; Peter is contacted by Fury, who delivers a pair of glasses equipped with an Artificial Intelligence (A.I.) called E.D.I.T.H. that had been given to him via Stark's will. E.D.I.T.H. was an augmented reality security, defense and artificial tactical intelligence system. Fury also asks Peter to help him, Hill and Beck to deal with a new threat to Earth, the Elementals. Longing to spend time with MJ, Peter rejects Fury's request. But when a Water Elemental threatens to overwhelm Venice, Peter dons a new Spider-man suit given to him by Fury and Hill and helps Beck deal with this new threat. I might as well be frank. I was not a fan of 2017's "SPIDER-MAN: HOMECOMING". I simply thought it was a badly written film with very little imagination. I also consider it to be one of the worst films within the MCU franchise. I never had a problem with Tom Holland as Peter Parker aka Spider-man. But with Jon Watts back as director, I had doubts that my feelings for "SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME" would be the same . . . or similar. I did not think that this sequel to "HOMECOMING" would be a vast improvement over the 2017 movie. And this is why a family member literally had to drag my ass . . . wait a minute. I should be more honest. I had every intention to see "FAR FROM HOME". It was the only major film that was being released around the Fourth of July holiday and I needed something to do. So, was the movie worth a trip to the theaters? One of the joys I had managed to derive from "SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME" were its European locations. I have not been that impressed by the photography featured in many of the MCU films. But I could not help but be impressed by cinematographer Matthew J. Lloyd's work in this film. I found it unusually sharp and colorful for this franchise. And it did help that he had utilized his talent for scenes shot in Venice, Prague and London. I also felt that Leigh Folsom Boyd and Dan Lebental's special effects had enhanced Lloyd's work. Another aspect of "FAR FROM HOME" that impressed me were the special effects created for the Elementals. Another aspect of the film that I enjoyed were the performances. Tom Holland gave his usual excellent performance as Peter Parker aka Spider-man. Samuel L. Jackson's portrayal of Nick Fury proved to be a bit more skillful than usual, deliberately conveying the idea that Fury seemed to be a bit off in this story. This was due to the fact that his old Skrull friend from "CAPTAIN MARVEL", Talos, was impersonating him. I thought Jake Gyllenhaal gave the best performance as the costumed vigilante Quentin Beck aka Mysterio, whose sincere and warm manner hid a possibly sinister agenda. I was pleasantly surprised by Zendaya, who gave a more nuanced performance as Peter's new love interest Michelle "M.J." Jones than she did in "HOMECOMING". However, I remained unimpressed by her screen chemistry with Holland. There was another screen pair that proved to be surprisingly impressive was Jacob Batalon and Angourie Rice, who portrayed Ned Leeds and Betty Brandt, Peter's roommates. Thanks to their performances, I really enjoyed Ned and Betty's summer romance that took everyone by surprise. The movie also featured funny performances from Tony Revolori, J.B. Smoove, Martin Starr, Marisa Tomei, Jon Favreau and a surprising cameo from J.K. Simmons as J. Jonah Jameson. The only real disappointing performance came from Cobie Smulders as Maria Hill. She seemed to be used as background, instead of a supporting character. I blame the writers. Thanks to the European locations, Matthew J. Lloyd's cinematography and the cast's performances, I can honestly say that I enjoyed "SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME" . . . more than I did 2017's "HOMECOMING". But despite the above, I was still disappointed with the film. There was simply too much about this movie that rubbed me the wrong way. And I find this sad, considering that Spider-man has always been my favorite Marvel Comics character for years. The main aspect about this movie that irritated me was the main villain's goal. The Disney/Marvel publicity machine had hinted for months that "FAR FROM HOME" would explore the aspects of an alternate universe. In fact, the Mysterio character was supposed to be from an alternate universe who had arrived in this one to defend Earth against the Elementals. Instead, this all proved to be cheap plot twist that originated from revenge. The main villain, Quentin Beck, was a former Stark Interprises employee, who had been fired by the late Tony Stark for his unstable personality. Stark had also stolen Beck's holographic technology for his own private use, embittering the latter even further. With Tony dead, Beck settled with deceiving Peter Parker into handing over E.D.I.T.H. to him. I could not believe what this story had been reduced to . . . another Spider-man movie in which the main villain had a grudge against Tony Stark. Then again, I should have known better. For some reason, the movie's narrative seemed unwilling to touch upon or explore any grief that Peter may have experience over Tony's death. I take that back. The movie featured one scene in which Peter and Tony's former security chief, Happy Hogan, did discuss the dead Avenger. But there were no other scenes in which Peter dealt with the emotional consequences of Tony's death. Instead, he spent most of the movie being torn between plotting to win M.J.'s love and "helping" Beck and Fury deal with the Elementals. Which would have been fine with me, considering my dislike of Tony Stark. But instead of allowing Peter to face the emotional consequences of Tony's death, the movie included scenes of Robert Downey Jr.'s mug being plastered on a wall or a billboard or in a dream. After I saw Downey Jr.'s face for the fourth time, I had to fight the urge to throw something at the movie screen. It was sooooo fucking annoying. What I found even more annoying is that for the second time, the main antagonist's villainy sprung from some past action of Tony Stark's. The Marvel Cinematic Universe has managed to make two of Spider-man's well-known villains more about Iron Man, instead of him. I still find it ridiculous that the MCU seems hellbent upon making Spider-man's villains more about Iron Man, instead of Spider-man. And then there was the matter of E.D.I.T.H. Why on earth would any responsible adult will a dangerous piece of technology like E.D.I.T.H. to an adolescent? Why? Why did the screenwriters treat this dangerous and irresponsible action on Tony's part as a source of comedy? Come to think of it . . . when did Tony make this decision to bequeath the glasses to Peter? During the last five years of his life, Peter had been dead, thanks to Thanos' snap in "THE AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR". He had been resurrected at less than two hours before Tony's death. So, when did Tony decide to bequeath E.D.I.T.H. to Peter? Had he included this legacy in his will before the events of "INFINITY WAR"? If so, why did he fail to change his will following Peter's death? Especially, since he and Pepper Potts managed to get marry and conceive a daughter? Or did he create a new will, while building a time machine (MASSIVE EYE ROLL) for the Avengers? I have never heard of anything so stupid in my life . . . even for a comic book movie. One more thing - how did Quentin Beck and his co-conspirators discover that Tony had bequeathed E.D.I.T.H. to Peter? Was Tony stupid enough to post his will electronically? And why in God's name would the MCU allow Tony to create something so dangerous and not treat it so seriously? What was the franchise thinking? I had assumed that "SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME" would explore the aftereffects of both Thanos' snap and the Blip that had resurrected Peter and others who had been killed by the former. It barely did. The movie revealed that Peter and his aunt, May Parker, were helping other resurrected victims of the Snap in Queens, New York; who had had returned to life to find themselves homeless by staging some kind of fundraiser with Spider-man. I had learned via the MCU Wiki page that May Parker had also been killed by the Snap. I find this odd, considering that the same website had made it clear that she had survived the Snap back in 2018. And if both Peter and May had been killed by the Snap, why did they NOT end up homeless after being resurrected? How did May resume her profession (whatever it is) after five years? How did she get her money back? Did her bank refund her money following her resurrection? The more I think about Peter and May's situation regarding the Snap and the Blip, the more I find myself disgusted with the MCU's handling of its overall narrative. Audiences never saw May deal with the discovery that her nephew was Spider-man. Audiences never saw Peter and May struggle after their resurrection. It seemed as if the screenwriters of this movie had become emotional cowards. Or perhaps I should simply label Kevin Feige as an emotional coward? I have noticed that in past movies, he has never allowed the franchise to deal with the aftermath of serious events. At least not in the movies. "AGENTS OF S.H.I.E.L.D." had to deal with the aftermath of the agency's fall back in 2014. The series had to deal with the rise of Inhumans - something that the movies never touched upon since the topic first came up back in 2014/2015. And now, it seemed apparent that the MCU seems unwilling to deal the aftermath of both the Snap and the Blip. Looking back, "SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME" was the wrong movie to follow "THE AVENGERS: ENDGAME". It was willing to be some ham-fisted ode to Tony Stark, but it was obviously unwilling to explore how people like Peter and May Parker dealt with their deaths and their resurrections. Speaking of the Snap . . . guess who else got killed? All of Peter's friends from his school's Academic Decathalon Team. ALL OF THEM - Michelle M.J. Jones, Ned Leeds, "Flash" Thompson and Betty Brandt. All of them. All of them had been killed by Thanos' Snap and resurrected by the Blip. All of them. You cannot imagine how much I found this incredibly contrived. According to the movie's narrative, those students who had been killed and resurrected were given a two-week trip to Europe during the summer. So . . . Peter, his four remaining companions from the last film, and a handful of other students were the only ones from Midtown School of Science and Technology who had undergone the Snap and the Blip? Just them? How convieeeennent. By the way, this was a shoddily planned trip. The movie never featured them visiting any place of academic interest. No one discussed or brought up the possible trauma of being killed and resurrected. No one. And when did Peter become interested in Michelle "M.J." Jones? Audiences last saw her casually conversing with Peter at the end of "HOMECOMING", while he was mourning the end of his relationship with Liz, Adrian Toomes aka the Vulture's daughter. Sometime between the 2017 movie and this one, he became attracted to M.J. My God, how frustrating! It almost reminds me of the rushed development of Princess Leia Organa and Han Solo's relationship in the STAR WARS Original Trilogy. At least in that franchise, "STAR WARS: EPISODE IV - A NEW HOPE" revealed hints of Han finding Leia attractive. I saw no such hints in Peter's feelings for M.J. by the end of "HOMECOMING". So . . . when did he fall for her? I was also surprised about how Nick Fury aka Talos managed to change the group's itinerary at short notice in order to get Peter to continue with the so-called "Elemental threat". How did he achieve this without alerting the school board or the travel agency? This made no sense to me. Speaking of the fake Nick Fury and Maria Hill . . . why? Why on earth would Fury allow two aliens (even if they were friendly) to impersonate him and Hill? Why? If he was on vacation, he should have immediately cancelled it when the so-called "Elemental threat" first appeared. But he did not. Why? This is not how someone as paranoid as Fury would behave. Was he really on vacation? This whole scenario regarding his identity was simply a joke to me. After the joke about his eye in "CAPTAIN MARVEL", it seems as if the MCU is hell bent upon making him the franchise's punch line. Has Kevin Feige recently developed a grudge against Samuel L. Jackson or something? It was worse for Hill/Soren since she/he barely said a fucking word. By the way, what has Fury been doing since the breakup of the Avengers? Which government agency was he working for when the Snap happened? Or was he operating his own security firm? How did the Snap and Blip affect his livelihood? I get the feeling that the MCU will never explain anything. I would discuss the movie's ending, which featured Peter's identity as Spider-man being exposed by Beck or one of his colleagues. But I was too disgusted with the film to overall care. I am certain - or I hope - that this issue will be addressed in what I HOPE will be the final MCU Spider-man movie. Granted, I enjoyed the film's photography and the European locations. I enjoyed the performances of the cast led by Tom Holland. I especially enjoyed Jake Gyllenhaal's performance. And I enjoyed the romance between the Ned Leeds and Betty Brant characters (they eventually got married in Marvel Comics). Unfortunately, the sloppiness and laziness of the film's writing, the narrative's unwillingness to address issues from the last two Avengers films, the heavy-handed ode to Tony Stark and Jon Watts' mediocre direction has led me to regard "SPIDER-MAN: FAR FROM HOME" as a complete bust. This is the second time that a MCU Spider-man movie has completely disappointed me. I really wish that Sony Pictures would resume producing Spider-man movies without any output from the MCU. I really do.

[ayellowbirds]

Keshet Rewatches All of Scooby-Doo, Pt. 15: "Spooky Space Kook"

("Scooby-Doo, Where Are You", Season 1 Episode 15)

AKA "The Mystery Machine Is Itself A Mystery of Interior vs. Exterior Dimensions"

I’m breaking from my standard format for these, because holy jinkies, you need to see and hear this villain’s laugh as video. Text and gifs alone will not suffice.

As seen above, the episode opens in the evening on a view of a fairly run-down rural area. An equally wrecked spaceship flies low over the landscape, orange light pulsing from within, and it comes to a stop and lands out of view. A figure walks onto the road, clad in a space suit that also pulses with an eerie “glowing sound” (if you watch enough cartoons, you know what the sound effects for “glowing, pulsing light” are like) that suggests radioactivity, the head within visible only as a skull. The camera closes on it, and the freak starts whooping and laughing as the interior of its helmet flashes the same red-orange as the spaceship.

It’s fantastic. While not the creepiest, it’s definitely the best villain design of the season, if not the best of all of Scooby-Doo: Where Are You. The ruined ghostly spaceship is a design that both makes no sense at all (why does it look tattered?) and fits perfectly.

Meanwhile, the gang are on the road in the Mystery Machine, and Shaggy offers to make sandwiches for anyone who wants. Only Scooby takes him up on it, and the view cuts to Shaggy assembling what Fred calls a “Jaw-Stretcher Special”.

Mind you, this is overtly the back of the Mystery Machine. Exactly how large is that van supposed to be? It reminds me of the camper van my dad used to own, only far more spacious. Definitely more roomy than its exterior would indicate, by far. We’ve seen interior shots before that showed bare walls, as well as the first episode’s collection of questionable and disturbing equipment. Is it like a TARDIS?

Shaggy adds bologna, meatloaf, and “a slug of double Dutch chocolate syrup”... just as the van cuts out. They’re out of gas, and miles from the nearest station!

...so, I’m going to say it here: Fred is a really bad driver. I don’t know why it falls to him to drive, except that he assumes a leadership role, but as we’ve seen, he’s a lousy navigator, and now it’s apparent he doesn’t keep an eye on the fuel indicator, either. Granted, it seems he was intended as the oldest of the gang, so it may be that he’s just the only one who as a license, at this point.

Oh my gods. Is that why they do what Fred says? Because he’s the only one who has a driver’s license? Did we finally figure out what he brings to the group, aside from traps that never work?

Going to the nearest house to see if they can buy some gas from the residents, they’re menaced by its owner, a surly chicken farmer with a long rifle and a conviction that the gang are actually reporters trying to bother him about “it”—the same spaceship from the establishing shot, and “something” that has been creeping around ever since “it” showed up.

Velma spots a trail of bizarre footprints glowing on the ground nearby, which the farmer confirms is the same kind of print he’s been seeing. The gang decide they’ve found a mystery, and seem to smooth things over, because the next scene is the Mystery Machine back on the road, Daphne having mentioned that it was “nice” that he gave them some gas. Fred agrees, because it means they can seek out the “ghost craft”... just before an eerie light passes over the van, and the gang catch sight of the alien ship setting down over the hill.

They wind up at the wrecked boundary fence of an abandoned army airfield, and follow more glowing tracks through the bent and busted gate.

They’ve only been walking for a few seconds when there’s a clattering, crashing sound, and Velma yelps, “I bet it’s the outer-space ghost,” suggesting i may need to reevaluate my ranking of the gang’s credulity vis-à-vis ghosts. Sure enough, the eerie cackling starts up again from off-screen, and the gang are firmly spooked as they follow the tracks to a work shed from which a strange mechanical noise emits. They find an electrical generator that has only just shut down... and then see the spaceship setting down by the opposite building!

Instead of investigating the craft, Fred suggests they split up and look around. The usual antics ensue, with Scooby and Shaggy’s squabbles over a bag of peanuts leading them right to the space-booted feet of the ghost, and a chase scene that leads through the distinctive setting of the airfield. It’s one of the few times the gang are investigating something other than a castle or mansion this season, and it really stands out, though one wonders why the many planes seen on the field were just left to rust.

Fred, Daphne, and Velma discover a machine shop with fresh grease and recently-used machines, and when Fred winds up hooked and hanging from the ceiling due to the ghost’s machinations, Velma protests Freddie’s assumption that she’d know how to even identify the controls for the hook.

Well, there’s characterization that won’t last. It seems as though, in this first season, Velma’s scientific expertise trends much more academic, including some chemistry but mostly being focused on research and analysis instead of the physical science work that would later be a big part of her interests.

Velma and Daphne meet up with Shaggy and Scooby to get help getting Fred down, and Fred and Velma quiz Shaggy on the details of “this thing you saw”. Apparently he was vague about the details of the ghost alien.

The phantom starts its whooping and giggling act again, and the chase continues as the gang flee in opposite directions, with Scooby and Shaggy winding up in the mess hall (”Never heard of a special place to make a mess...”), proving they have some kind of instinctive sixth sense for snacks that drives them towards the nearest kitchen without even intending to do so. Shaggy finds nothing, but Scooby manages to scarf down a small roast ham, an entire chicken on a bed of greens, and most of a jar of olives before Shaggy comes over to check on him. Shaggy realizes the remains of fresh food are a clue—"Like, how come a ghost from space keeps chicken and ham around?"—and they head out to find the others, running into the ghost again.

The girls and Fred, meanwhile, find a copy of yesterday’s Gazette, with glowing fingerprints left on the front page. “Why would a ghost from outer space be reading yesterday’s newspaper?”

This is why it’s important to maintain details in your haunting site. Big Bob understood that, he even went so far as to make monster-specific food labels.

As the chase continues and the gang reunite once more in the motor pool, they find a busted old jeep with four flat tires... that actually conceal another four wheels, found after Scooby notices that the exhaust pipe smells of gasoline.The jeep even starts remotely, driving out past a larger truck, where the “goony ghost” reveals itself behind the canopy covering the truck bed. But before the gang can react, four more ghosts appear!

Noticeably, the extra ghosts don’t move or even glow, they just stand there looking spooky. It’s enough, as Shaggy and Scooby flee up into a control tower and signal the rest of the gang over the still-functioning loudspeakers with the bugle call for noon mess, still apparently the only one they know. So, Scooby and Shaggy have no idea what a mess hall is, but they know the melody to summon you to one by heart?

Unfortunately, the ghost corners the boys in the tower, and they’re forced to jump out with a parachute. The scene fades to a police car: the farmer saw their car parked by the gate, and in spite of his seemingly ornery character, became worried for the gang and called the sheriff. 

They catch sight of the ghost, who flees into a building, which Fred calls “a bad mistake”—because the steel door the ghost shuts behind itself leads to a wind tunnel for testing aerodynamics.

Fred starts up the turbine, and the ghost grabs hold of a steel ladder as the resulting winds blow off its helmet, mask, and eventually the whole dang costume, revealing an ordinary human: the farmer’s next-door neighbor, Henry Bascombe.

Again, note that the culprit gets a whole name, but the innocent man is just “Mister Farmer”, and the cop is just “the Sheriff”. 

Shaggy reveals his discovery from the airfield control tower: a reel-to-reel projector to beam the image of the spaceship onto the night sky, and an audio player sped-up to sound high-pitched and eerie. The gang “wanna bet” that the extra ghosts were stuffed dummies and that the jeep was driven by remote control, but never actually check. It’s also left unclear what exactly Bascombe filmed to make the spaceship footage, or where his improbable mechanical skills originate.

The sheriff explains that Bascombe heard that the Air Force planning to re-open and expand the field—how does he know that Bascombe knew this?—and the farmer deduces that it was a ploy to scare his neighbors off so he could buy their land cheap and resell it to the Air Force for a profit.

Almost, but not quite.

When will our burden be eased? When will we finally hear “meddling kids”?

(like what i’m doing here? It’s not what pays the bills, so i’d really appreciate it if you could send me a bit at my paypal.me or via my ko-fi. Click here to see more entries in this series of posts, or here to go in chronological order)

[blyanten]

THE DUCK AVENGER PK2: #14 THE LAST HUNT

This is a good one! Issue opens with the description of a cat hunting for its bowl of milk. Turns out Lyo is feeding all the stray cats. The Avenger appears, and Lyo is glad he’s back after being missing for two days. The crazy AI from the previous issue claimed it had only been one, so this is either a tiny continuity fail, or Lyo and the AI is counting the hours slightly differently.

The Avenger goes to the roof to get some air, then he plans on heading home. There’s another cat on the roof, and for a second the Avenger wonders what it would be like to see through their eyes. He might see what Everett and Juniper is up to, or maybe find Korinna… but he’s a duck and he has to go to work.

At work, Fitzroy gets on Donald’s case by telling him that he’s late by two days. Donald informs him he’s already talked to the boss, AKA the man that matters, AKA not Fitzroy. Fitzroy claims it’s only a matter of time, especially with Tempest out of the running.

If you’re gonna trap yourself on a roof, get a big one.

Tempest has been overworking herself, getting nervous and fighting with her colleagues, boss included. Bad move, that, as anyone with a job can tell you.

In the security room, Fitzroy decides it’s time to do some spying. 

How this guy gets to work security is beyond me.

On the roof, Tempest hands Donald a delivery note from a catering agency. The agency is a familiar one that often gets supplies from Duckmall.

Tempest flashes back to a few nights ago, when she was talking to one of the guys from the agency, who was bragging about all the important people he met in his job. Cool, huh, babe?

She’s unimpressed, but when the guy mentions that they’re currently working for the multinational corporation Criospher, she gets interested. She asks if he’s ever talked to Ed Morando, the owner of the company, but catering guy says no. Morando has an errand boy deal with them, some guy named “Fog”.

This is nice. She’s having an very emotional moment on the edge of a roof and he’s joking. Can’t really do that with a stranger, you don’t know how they’ll react.

Donald naturally has no clue who that is, but Tempest is feeling more talkative now, so she keeps going. It’s very obvious this has been eating away at her for probably at lot longer than the last few days, the recent events just seems to have brought it to the surface.

Years ago, she signed up to join Seaducks, a private paramilitary force that often acted on behalf of the government.

Bullshit.

One of the people in charge of her training was a man named Elias Fog.

Donald interrupts to make sure it’s the same guy, and Tempest tells him to shut it, this isn’t some movie flashback.

As part of her training, she’d have to pass an operational exam, and Fog decided to team her up with Stevros The Cat, who specialized in incursions and was the best. Man was a loner, and Tempest got the job of making sure he got in and out of the places he needed to go.

Younger, enthusiastic Tempest is cute though. 

After a while the became friends, and Stevros told her he wanted to go back to Greece someday. After his contract was up, I’m guessing.

Of course, this ended badly. When Tempest finally got to the night of her operational exam, they were going to penetrate the research center of Criospher Industries. Ed Morando might be an arms-dealer, and the need to confirm or deny that he’s making weapons in that research center.

This went to hell rather quickly, as something interfered with their communication, and Tempest was attacked in her surveillance van, while Stevros… well, there was a big explosion and he hasn’t been seen since.

Tempest was found miles away the next day and was blamed for what happened. She walked before they could kick her out, and now, now Fog turns out to be Morando’s new best friend, and Tempest is freaking out, with no clue what she should do or what she can do. A single signature is worth very little against that sort of people.

Donald tells her the first thing she should do is get some sleep, and Tempest, coming down from that emotional high, agrees.

Fitzroy, having recorded everything, thinks he can find a use for that story.

Later that night, the Avenger goes on a mission to the catering agency, and we get a pretty funny description of him, done the same way the description of the cat was done earlier. The Avenger’s is much less impressive.

He doesn’t find much, until the people who work there conveniently arrives, and lets him follow them and their truck straight to Fog. After an hour, the Avenger is starting to wonder if the catering guy knows where he’s going, but decides to keep following him anyway. He needs to confirm Tempest’s story. In fact, he was in such a hurry to do that, he ended up bringing the Star Corp uniform along.

The finally arrive at what is essentially a small fortress, a large house surrounded by forest with a big wall surrounding that again. Fog steps out to welcome the truck, along with people with guns. Someone’s feeling paranoid, and the Avenger decides to park the Duckmobile in the treetops and hope nobody notices.

Someone does notice, and a single eye opens, hidden in a tree.

The Avenger realizes that using the shield will make to much noise, and uses the Star Corp uniform to make a rope, climbing down form the car to the trees. He jumps from there to the roof of the house and goes unnoticed, except for the tree-eye, which turns out to be a floating metal eye.

The more I look at this, the more grossed out I get. It looks like it has eyelids! Which might be useful for cleaning the camera lens, but ewww.

At the roof, the Avenger takes a look in through the attic window, and finds an operation center, but with no operators. He also sees himself on one screen, from the back.

At least they’re sticking to the theme.

The floating eyes don’t set off any alarms, which makes alarms go off for the Avenger. It’s like they’re keeping him in place until…

Judging by what he did to the roof, he should just have landed on the Avenger. Squish, no more Avenger.

The robot cat, who is definitely Stervros, that’s not even open for debate at any point, just stands there staring, until the Avenger summons the shield. Then kitty uses its shoulder canons to shoot him. The Avenger blocks with the shield, then runs.

On the ground, Fog tells his men to hold back. He can tell from the sound of the shots that the predator is hunting.

The Avenger makes straight for the Duckmobile, barely avoiding the cat’s literal claws, but the Star Corp uniform is torn as it was still hanging there on the outside of the Duckmobile since he used it as a rope.

Surely that won’t be a problem, unless of course the part the cat tore of was the one with the Star Corp logo on it.

Oh, come on, you have cameras if you need evidence. That’s taking the cat theme a bit too far. 

Fog has a minion bring him a list of names of everyone who works for Star Corp, and predictably finds Tempest’s name. Since she’s the one with an actual reason (that he knows if) to come after him, Tempest doesn’t show up for work the next day.

I feel sorry for Bloom sometimes. Donald is generally a good worker, but might up and vanish for days, Fitzroy shows up, but is an untrustworthy dick, Rupert spends hours sighing over Stella, and now Tempest has apparently lost it too.

This morning, Bloom can’t find Tempest, Donald has ruined his uniform and Fitzroy is trying to be sneaky about sharing something with him. Bloom tells him he doesn’t care, so Fitzroy tries to use the recording he made of Tempest to make Donald withdraw from the race to become to new boss.

Donald, unimpressed, steals the tape, hides it in his hat, mocks him, and shoves Fitzroy away by literally sticking his foot in his face.  He won’t use his skills over chips, but for a friend?  No hesitation.

Though considering that his hat is soft fabric, I have no idea how a double bottom is going to help anything, since a cassette is big and you can easily feel that by grabbing the hat. Assuming someone gets their hand on the hat, which is a whole job on its own.

Unfortunately, Fitzroy doesn’t seem too upset by this.

Bloom tells Donald that, since he’s ruined his uniform and his partner isn’t at work, Bloom will take over for him, and Donald will go and check on Tempest.

So Donald finds himself at the docks, and confused about where Tempest lives. There’s only boats there!

I’ve been told that, assuming you somehow gets your hands on a boat, this is actually a pretty cheap way to live. No idea if it’s true.

Tempest’s neighbor tells Donald she does live there, but that he wishes he hadn’t sold her to boat. She always makes so much noise, like the incredibly loud screaming last night.

And this is why bystanders aren’t to be relied upon. 

Inside, the boat is pretty much turned upside down. Like it was ransacked, or as if there’s been one hell of a fight.

Donald goes directly to Century and changes into the Avenger costume, telling Lyo only a small army could take down Tempest, and that it has to be Fog. He tries to find something useful equipment that Astrongman left behind, and Lyo takes him to the secret room behind the library, where the good stuff is.

Or he would, if he could remember how to get in there. Good thing he marked the key to open it with “secret passage”. They find some broken stuff, and the Avenger asks Lyo for a favor.

At his mansion, Ed Morando is entertaining guests.

Or as he likes to call them, potential buyers. He has a new weapon to show them, a revolutionary prototype: The Predator.

Obvious joke is obvious.

I like that he seems to still have duck feet, despite everything. It’s a nice detail, considering who he really is.

The predator has two flying eyes, is 80% bionic and masters 16 types of unconventional weapons.

The prey has traditional weapons, good training and can’t escape.

The most dangerous game is on.

Tempest recognizes some elements of the set up from her Seaduck exercises, and decides to get out of there as quickly as possible.

Morando and his buyers are all watching from the party room, while Morando cheerfully explains that after Tempest is dead, they’ll get to buy the tech and also the cat.

In the attic, the operators are complaining that they don’t have anything to do, except watch and listen to Tempest get murdered. The Avenger arrives and knocks them out, and starts looking for a way to actually find Tempest. The estate is too big to just go looking.

Fog arrives, helpfully directing him to a small screen where a satellite follows their every move.

“In weapons and bones” is a very cool line. Also, the guy on the right looks like a plague doctor.

Outside, Tempest is now dodging weapons fire. Morando quickly explains to the buyers that the cat is just playing with her, she’ll be dead soon.

Upstairs, the Avenger uses the equipment he got from Astrongman’s storage to bluff Fog into standing down by threatening to blow them all up. And Fog thinks he tricked the Avenger in to thinking he’s standing down, while the Avenger is well aware of the snipers positioning themselves on the roof.

The Avenger decides to start at the beginning, with Stevros. Fog happily explains that Stevros is busy pursuing Tempest as they speak.

Turns out that the explosion Tempest saw years ago when it all went to hell was caused by Stevros, who was trying to void capture. Obviously, he failed, and was transformed into the bionic cat now hunting Tempest. Of course, in order to make Stevros actually work for them, they needed to get inside his head, and used Tempest to do that, convincing him that she had betrayed him.

After the sheer trauma of nearly dying, and then being forcefully transformed into something that’s mostly a robot, this was still surprisingly difficult, but after years of trying, Fog succeeded.

This is probably the worst thing a normal human has done in this series. They just took him apart and rebuilt him and then went out of their way to break him. 

And now, even if Tempest figures things out and try to explain, Stevros is in no place to actually understand it.

Fog asks if the Avenger wants to ask why he did it, or should he just show him his paycheck?

The Avenger says no thanks, and throws Astrongman’s not-bomb on the floor, then shoots it to make it blow up anyway.

Downstairs, all the illegal arms-dealers freak out, thinking the police has arrived.  You’d think professional arms-dealers would have cooler heads, but no.

Tempest, meanwhile, has gathered her wits, and is preparing to fight.

Lots of cool visuals in this one.

Unfortunately, she doesn’t know what she’s up against.

I love this page. First panel: Tempest running. She looks serious, and her pose makes her look really solid. Panel two: Realization, but more “there you are” than “Oh shit”. Panel three and four: She shoots while turning around and hits a moving target about the size of a head. Damn. Also, oh shit. 

Panel five: The cat hovering over her like a monster from a horror movie and Tempest looking tiny in comparison, and she’s clearly scared now, but the focus isn’t really on her fear, it’s on the sheer difference between them. Size, weapons... Tempest was never meant to win this, and it shows. Which also highlights how cool it is that she’s lasted this long.

And it’s also fucking tragic, because Stevros isn’t the monster here, it’s all based on lies and he’s seconds away from doing something he’d regret forever if he knew.

The cat knocks her down, but it seems like Morando was almost right, though this isn’t about playing with his prey, as he hesitates long enough for Tempest to ask why he’s attacking her. Stevros then puts on his old Seaducks hat, letting Tempest know who he is, and from his perspective, explaining why he’s trying to kill her.

At the mansion, the Avenger has barricaded himself in the operations center. Fog tells someone to get a bazooka so they can get in, but the Avenger can’t worry about that now. Tempest is about to die and he needs to do something.

Then he remembers. The two operators from earlier mentioned something about having audio-video contact with the predator, and the Avenger has an ace in his hat.

Another page I really like. This seems like a point where someone might have added images of Tempest’s flashback, which would be fine. But instead the smalles “screens” are of Tempest telling the story, and how she’s reacting to both what happened back then and also how she’s reacting to Fog being in league with Morando. I get the impression that while the story she’s telling is important when it comes to convincing Stevros, so is how strongly she reacted to it, especially the new details about Fog and Morando.

Getting Tempest’s side of the story directly into his brain, the cat stops. He brushes her hair aside, and then leaves.

Back at the house, Fog has managed to break into the operations center, but the Avenger is gone. Morando is also there, losing it as someone seems to have called the PBI, and they’re bursting into the estate, finding all kinds of interesting, highly illegal things.

One of the cat’s mechanical eyes float in and focus on Morando and Fog. Morando keeps panicking, but Fog calmly accepts that Stevros knows what really happened and has picked a new, more deserving prey.

Well, can’t say he’s not reacting like a pro.

Lyo asks if that was it, but the Avenger explains that Fog and Morando surrendered to the PBI to escape Stevros. Lyo notes that the anonymous call the Avenger asked him to make was helpful, and the Avenger agrees. Certainly for Fog and Morando. Fog was so sure Stevros wouldn’t listen to the truth, and yet. Lyo says that some bad guys just don’t get human nature.

Speaking of bad guys, at Duckmall, Fitzroy just finished showing the copy of the recording he made of Tempest to Bloom, who sees right through his bullshit. Bloom also has the same rosy view of the Seaducks as Tempest does, telling Fitzroy that if Tempest was good enough for them to consider hiring, then she’s certainly good enough to have Bloom’s job.

The Avenger is back on the roof, talking to the cat from the beginning of the issue. He’s got the same questions as before, what are the Ducklairs doing, but now he’s also got a new one. Where did Stevros go?

Hopefully, he found a way back home.

Yeah, we all do. 

I normally think that these issues are exactly as long as they need to be, but I’d love for this one to have been a double or something, so we could include Stevros viewpoint and more about Tempest friendship with him. 

I do like the kind of ambigous ending. Is Stevros fine now? Mentally, obviously, physically, he’ll never be the same. Will he be okay when he gets home? What is he going to do then?

Same with Tempest. She’ll be fine, but if this were to get a follow up of some kind, I wouldn’t be surprised if it turned out to be another thing that kept gnawing on her, or that it’d be revealed she’d been trying to find him again.

[gmtpluseight]

Blowing bubbles

SEPTEMBER

Well here we are. 

Knee-deep in Standard Operating Procedures, post-summer hols back at school, but at least back at school, rather than confined to a wardrobe (admittedly, a large wardrobe) trying to teach virtually, locked-down, doubled down, terrorised by my own children. The horror, the horror. 

Briefly, the Virtual School Experience flickered back to life this week as a local water contamination that affected the entire Klang Valley dragged its heels. The taps in the classrooms sputtered. Talk was we wouldn’t be able to flush the loos. Giant water tankers delivered so much, but not possibly enough. 

The last thing you need during a pandemic: a lack of means of washing hands. 

Thankfully, it lasted a day before it was resolved.

What a summer it was, though. Not the one we expected, although we can’t be alone in that. Instead of returning home, we made a new home, moving from one enormous condo unit to another. Less than 100m as the crow flies. 

Still a job to pack up. 

JULY

We trolley boxes across the basement carparks, dodging speed bumps and squealing slow-moving cars. 

We buy enormous plants at ridiculously cheap prices to pad out the space a bit. 

I spend close to two hours with the owner of our previous condo unit and the housing agents, arguing over imagined damage to the property. 

In the end I win. But everyone also loses. It’s a compromise.

I meet one of the agents later that afternoon out front, jumping into a cab. I need a drink she says. I know the feeling.

In between before and after packing up and down, we master short hops to impossibly beautiful destinations. 

JULY-AUGUST--ISH

We spend several hundred ringgos in Decathlon in preparation. We visit a dive shop in a mall beside a purpose built Scuba diving-training-swimming pool. Two men, one bare-chested, sit at a table beside, swigging from a bottle of whisky. I guess lockdown affected some businesses more than others.

First up, Perhentian Besar, where friends John and Christine make friends with everyone. 

Where the kids take telly breaks inside, sheltered from the lapis blue skies. We use dive mask boxes as crisp buckets. 

I take trips to the peer to eyeball the local triggerfish as it nibbles at barnacles. 

We take a boat trip to neighbouring Perhentian Kecil and walk past one of our neighbours from KL. A storm creeps over the hill as we sip cocktails and attempt to distract the children from their boredom. We nearly get stranded but our boatman basically decides to roll the dice with our lives and before long we’re bouncing off the waves with hair-shredding winds whipping across and sea spray more like shower spray dousing us. No more boats travel that evening as the waves grow even bigger.

THE THIRD TRIP - PENANG

We check in to a lovely hotel with hands-down the most comfortable bed I have ever slept in. Several other friends and their children from KL are all in the same hotel. 

By day we take in local sites along and about the Batu Ferringhi stretch. Penang Butterfly Farm is vast, and predictably, it is filled with butterflies.

It’s also filled with other things.

Spiders, scorpions and a toad, I kid yeeeee not, as big as a melon. Not quite a watermelon, but a very decently sized cantaloupe.

Most of the spiders are behind glass. Amazingly, one enclosure has no glass. Just a big empty space. Couple wispy bits of spiderweb reach right out into the corridor. I practically walk through them as I approach to see what’s inside. Nothing, apparently.

That spider could be anywhere in the entire Butterfly Farm. 

I spend the rest of the visit with that thought on my mind.

By late afternoon/evening, we hit the beach bars. 

The beach keeps the kids happy. 

The bar keeps the adults happy. Everyone’s a winn-

KIT GET OUT OF THE SEA! KIT! KI- 

He’s deliberately ignoring me. He’s started doing this loads.

KIT! KIT! KI-IIIIIT!

Now his shorts and t-shirt are soaking. Great. Soon his nappy will be hanging round his knees, soaked with seawater.

One night, we witness a proposal at the beach bar.

The eagle-eyed can tell something is afoot from the moment we arrive- there’s pink balloons, fake flower petals and candles set out in front of the VIP booth bit. No future groom no bride to speak of yet though. 

Clearly, balloons are interesting to small children.

It’s a job keeping them away from the flower petals too. Let alone the candles. Eventually they start splashing about in the water instead. 

Inside, there’s at least three photographers circling. 

There’s a change in music. 

Someone Has Arrived. 

There’s a general movement towards the balloons and flower petals and candles at which point the children regain an interest in it all. They gambol over in the end-of-the-day, anything could happen, I’m-on-holiday-too and if-you’re-not-going-to-provide-entertainment-I’ll-make-my-own sort of way.

One photographer shoots me a look of sheer, unbridled terror. 

I do my best cat-herding, distract and befuddle the children with a mixture of unfulfilled offers, bribes and bird noise imitation. It works.

Moments later the bride-to-be saunters through with a friend. 

Then, all the bits you’d expect. Hands on mouth. Gasps. Grins. Searching the faces in the crowd for her suitor.

He’s not there.

A band emerges from around the corner. Actually, no, a group of her friends. One has a boom box and they’re all singing terribly, kicking sand playfully and moving slowly. I don’t recognise the tune. But that could be down to their singing.

A few more moments later, and from behind us a horse jerkily walks towards this scene. On top, a man dressed in an oversize Mickey Mouse costume, who clearly has never ridden a horse in his life. 

I’m no Frankie Dettori, but I can tell this guy doesn’t know the front end from the back of a horse.

He struggles to dismount. 

He’s got these giant clown-shoes on and he gets them caught in the stirrups, then his head lolls forward as he tries to look down at the snag. Eventually, he makes it onto one knee. Later the kids squabble over balloons and Kit is beyond inconsolable when they are released to the sky. It’s a clear night, which makes it worse. He watches them sail away for ages.

We while away the rest of the night to the sound of the house band. Two guys. A guitar and a drum set made of old tins, teapots and gas cans. It’s a marvel to behold.

THE FOURTH TRIP - PANGKOR LAUT

Now this place. This place really take the biscuit. 

The last hurrah of the summer holidays before back to work. A private friggin island. When else can I say I have visited a private island.

There’s hornbills everywhere.There’s infinity pools. There’s a massive tree filled with flying foxes that sweep across the sky at night. There’s a little minibus that takes you to the other side of the island, to a secluded bay and another gorgeous beach. It’s simply idyllic.

There’s also a pack of marauding macaques that sniff out the packet of dried apricots that the ants had already sniffed out. Left outside our room door, they come hungry for it. By that point we’d already gone to the beach. The Mutters, next door, hadn’t though. They ended up barricaded in for a while as the macaques descended.

The clientele at the island is not what we’ve experienced so far. Comes with a place like that I guess. Everyone is visibly less patient, less enamoured with and less pleased by our children. I mean. I don’t really blame them.

THE SPUR OF THE MOMENT TRIP / THE THIRD TRIP

Langkawi. Ah, Langkawi. 

West coast beaches are definitely not east coast beaches. But it’s still a giant playground for an under 5. Bliss.

Our hotel has the world’s most incredible swimming pools (yes, pools) with slides and bridges and water spouts and people who give you ginormous towels and a 5 foot monitor lizard, one day, who decided to take a dip.

We watch a parent eagle teaching its young to fly. We watch coconut tree shimmiers machete off coconuts and leaves. We zip off to the other side of the island and Stanley Mutter, aka Crab God, charms the local fauna. Then we go home, unpack, wash everything and start thinking about what to pack for the next trip.

[llampacaeatingguppy]

Aspects of winter life that might not occur to you

Maybe you’re writing a book about someone in The North but you live in The South, maybe you’re moving somewhere cold, and maybe you just want to know. I don’t really care, I’m just a long-time resident of Wisconsin who wants to write a bunch of stuff, so I am. (Please note some of this might be Wisconsin-exclusive)

First of all, let’s talk about that little transition from summer to winter. There are literally maybe two weeks of a stereotypical “not too hot, not too cold” temperature, sometimes not even that. Fall is mostly unpredictable weather hell and it’s hard to be sure when they will truly decide to stop. For example: our last warm day was December 4, and it was almost 60 degrees (15.5 C). On my sisters birthday, December 6, it was 20 degrees  (-6.5 C) and snowing, which was far more normal for that time of year.

Women’s clothes are the dumbest things ever, especially jeans. Your top half gets additional insulation through your coat. Your legs do not, and women’s jeans are thin. Leggings and/or long socks under your pants pretty much every day are a must if you don’t want you legs to turn into icesicles. And if you must either wear leggings or jeans by themselves, I feel warmer in leggings. Sweatpants are the best, but I usually use those as pajamas.

On the topic of women’s clothes and coats, my classmate was cold in class once and I offered her my fall coat (which I wear if it’s about 40+ degrees (4+ C)). It’s a hoodie that I found in the men’s section. You know what she told me? It was warmer than her fall coat. Let me tell you something: that thing wasn’t even marketed as a coat. Don’t get me wrong, I knew it was warm, that’s why I wore it, but I didn’t realize it was that warm. Women’s clothes vs men’s clothes. Yay. And people wonder why men on campus are still walking around in sweaters when women are wearing their winter coats in the fall.

One more thing about clothes to get all the salt out of my system and then I’m done with clothes, I promise. If you want some women’s clothes actually suitable for the weather, your best bet is secondhand stores or small local shops, because those clothes are from people who also actually have to endure this climate. Any sort of chain of stores just don’t have clothes designed for cold weather. Heck, some of the stuff that I’ve seen in Target for “winter” I wouldn’t wear until May or June.

There is a confusing temperature where you’re not sure whether to wear your fall coat or your winter coat. It varies per person, but since my winter coat is literally a cleared for -30 degrees (-34 C) heavy duty stuffed trench coat (that I had to scramble for while it was on sale, cheap coats are not made for Wisconsin-level cold. People do it, but I have no idea how) and my fall coat is a men’s hoodie, the choice between roast and freeze is particularly present because the range of temperature those were made for is so different.

If you go outside and the snot in your nose freezes before you’ve taken two steps, you can safely say that it’s really cold without anyone arguing with you.

Also, “You know it’s cold when your snot is frozen in two seconds” and other variants is kinda a local meme. Probably has been for decades. I’ve lived here 18 years and I don’t remember ever not hearing it.

A lot of people seem to assume that sickness season is in the winter. It’s not. It’s the Times of Horrible Weather (aka spring and fall). People get sick in winter, sure, but it’s spring and fall where over half of the people you know all get sick at once, although it’s milder cold-like things. The exception to this is the explosion of influenza that happens around January, but one month is a small chunk of winter, believe me.

Spring is really similar to fall, just an fyi. I keep saying fall because we’re in the thick of winter now, it’s -17 (-27 C) outside, and spring looks like an impossibility, but they’re really similar in terms of awful temperature fluctuations. Most people are more tolerant of its obnoxiousness because when it ends the weather won’t be trying to kill you. I personally like it less because all that snow melting makes everything wet and muddy and all the litter that the snow hid is now visible and I never know if it’s hot or cold outside and it feels like nothing really grows until the week before summer so it’s just naked and ugly and inconvenient. I hate spring. Can you tell?

I’m just now realizing that it probably sounds like I don’t like winter, but I actually do. Like yeah it’s annoying, but I like it? It’s kinda like that character you love who’s a complete asshole and you’re not even sure why you love them but you do.

The. Car. It gets cold. And it doesn’t warm up right away, either, because of how cold the engine gets. And you might need to jump start it, too, depending on how good your battery is. Also there’s ice and snow and fun stuff that you have to scrape off after it snows. And it’s cold outside while you’re doing it. And you’re probably also late because the world hates you. And the roads are probably bad.

10+ inches (25.4+ cm) of snow = elementary and high schools have to close. -40 degrees (which is the same in Celsius, crazy right?) or lower windchill = elementary and high schools have to close. Both happen a few times a year. College classes don’t have that rule. You walk to class in -50 degree (-45.5 C) windchill anyways and try to ignore the fact that you haven’t been able to feel your face pretty much the whole time.

If you’re on your period, things can get really cold and uncomfortable down there. Changing your pad more frequently than usual helps some. Tampons might also do the trick, but I can’t tell you for sure because I don’t like to use them.

If you’re like me and get chilled easily, winter is kinda nice because nobody will judge you for wearing an ungodly number of layers. Are you still cold when you go outside? Probably, at least some of the time. But you’re comfortable while indoors, which is a nice change of pace.

Folks farther north try to assert their dominance over you, and you do the same to those who live farther south than you. This is achieved by bragging about the bad weather.

Snowing on Halloween is a very real thing. When you’re a young trick-or-treater, it’s beyond frustrating because unless you’re literally going as a scientist living in Antarctica or your parents don’t care if you get sick by running around without a coat, good luck having people see your costume because it’s coat time.

Bugs are small. The largest spider I regularly see is a little bigger than a quarter, and most of that’s legs.

My dad loves to tell the story about how when he lived in Virginia, they got two feet of snow and they still expected him to come to work because he was from the north, despite the fact that the state was essentially in a state of crisis. But we don’t drive in two feet of snow, either, because a crap ton of snow plows go out every time it snows. It’s not perfect, and the roads are bad for a while, but there isn’t literally the total amount of snow accumulation just sitting on the road for us to drive through. So please don’t ask your employee from the north to come in to work when it snowed two feet overnight and there are not nearly enough snowplows, because then there literally is two feet of snow on the road and that’s dangerous for anyone, north or not. (He didn’t go in, by the way.)

When the roads aren’t great, seeing cars in the ditch is normal. People don’t even bat an eye and they’re often used as a measurement for how bad roads are. (ex: “I saw three cars in the ditch on the way here” = roads are bad) This is just normal, car swerved a little bit and ran off the road stuff, though. If it’s more serious (like if the car flipped upside down or hit another car or something), then it gets regarded as a car accident, not as a car in the ditch.

If you’re asthmatic, the cold can induce asthma attacks. It doesn’t always, but when I was diagnosed with asthma a few years ago, the doctor told me to be careful because it’s a very real problem for some folks. The worst it does to me personally is makes me cough a few times if it’s less then 0 degrees and I breathe too deeply through my mouth, and if I cover my face with a scarf it gets rid of the problem altogether.

I have never in my life successfully made an igloo. I don’t think most people have. They always caved in at the top the few times I tried. What I did do all the time as a youngling was dig tunnels under the snow and army-crawl through them.

Later in the winter, when the temperature starts to ease up but it’s still not spring, just the top layer of snow will melt a smidge and then freeze back over, making a hard shell. It’s oftentimes thick enough for kids to walk on without breaking it and I thought it was one of the coolest things ever. Even now, if I find a place that can support my weight as an adult, it gives me this odd sense of giddiness and usually makes my day.

Electronics were not made to handle cold and leaving them out in it can be a nightmare on your battery.

There are quite a few people who eat summer-coded desserts in the winter, especially ice cream. Winter gives enough people negativity without the added sadness of certain sweets being off-limits.

[pearlgirl710]

I’ve been into Yona of the Dawn for the past three years, but its only this year that I’ve decided to cosplay from one of my most favorite series!! I started out with Lili and Yona’s fancy cover art illustrations, and then I decided to crunch three more Yona costumes in a week for an upcoming con. I swear I’m usually better about pacing myself but I got pretty swamped with my friend’s wedding earlier in the month and I was left with a week to finish three Yona cosplays for Colossalcon this year.

Literally the only reason these got finished was thanks to the endless support of @automb @nana-cai and @tomyo!! They helped with ironing and pinning and the simple sewing so I could focus on draping my patterns, crafting, and keeping my wits together.

I know my cosplay compilation posts tend to get really chatty and long so I’ll put the rest under a read more!!

Originally I was only supposed to be Lili for Cait’s big Yona group, but I had a friend who, in the past, I had talked about doing Yona and King Il with. @toyaniisama was also going to Colossalcon and so I dragged him into the group for fun, and he commissioned me to make his robes and accessories. However!!!! I ended up finding the PERFECT fabric to make Yona’s birthday kimono and basically bit off almost more than I could chew. I bought the fabric and made plans with our Hak and Soowon cosplayers ( @thecaitsmeowww and himinty on instagram) to do a little photoshoot together before the large group shoot.

Now, when I had made the underdresses for fancy Lili and Yona, I had made them to fit both me and Nana so we could switch characters when we wanted to. They required a little bit of extra rigging in order to make them work for two different outfits, but in the end I saved a lot of time and money just reusing the underdresses from the cover art designs! Lili’s new top is made from white peachskin and is sewn to the waist of the underdress, leaving the original top hanging on the inside, but still attached. Yona’s dress just needed sleeves, and those were done easily enough.

Lili’s overskirt is a circle skirt that is finished off with a “waistband” and a snap placket for stability, and then fastened just over the bust. The lavender bias tape hides the seam and the hook and bar closures, to make it look like its only being held in place by a flimsy little ribbon.

King Il’s robes and hat were simple to sew since I had done all the time consuming parts a month prior, aka all the cutting and fitting and patterning. I knew exactly how to craft the hat and therefore was able to guide @automb to do the actual handsewing while I focused on the more complicated parts of the cosplays.

The hat base is formed from a spiral braided cloche I bought for cheap. After ripping the brim off, I was left with a simple dome. The bottom was lengthened with some buckram and a back piece, also made of buckram, was attached to create the nested dome look that King Il’s hat had. The whole thing was covered in several layers of black and red mesh, and then bound off in bias tape. The tassels were then strung on chain and attached to two wooden chopsticks, slipped into the hat, and then cemented into place with a piece of thermoplastic.

King Il’s necklace was made with a gold hoop that had tassels already attached, which I covered with more thermoplastic (the kind I use is called Terraflex, which I like since I can pick it up instore at the Tandy’s Leather near where I live) and then primed, painted and sealed, then hooking the beads and chains on.

The robes are made up of an inner kimono held in place with a obi sash, and an outer robe made of this really nice, matte suiting. I was told later by Stephen that the robes were really comfortable to wear and fit perfectly, so I’m really happy with how they came out!!!

Birthday Yona was its own special nightmare in comparison to Lili and King Il. I used up most of the week I had to finish up Lili and King Il, plus a couple of other cosplays I had planned to wear at the con, and ended up with one day to sew the whole damn thing, underdress excluded.

Luckily by the time I had started sewing Yona’s outer robe and her inner kimono, I had already finished making her birthday tiara and the hairpin Soowon had gifted her in episode 1. I used Terraflex for everything except the beads, and cursed Soowon from the day he was born for having such garbage taste in jewelry.

You can see in my WIP photos that I made the flower from individually cut and placed flower petals (37 petals to be exact) on another chopstick base. The leaves  and butterfly I formed and attached once the main flower was done, and the entire hairpin measures to just under 7 inches in length. I think the trickiest part of making this stupid hairpin was that each petal was so small (about 1cm wide per petal) and the flower itself was about 2 inches wide when completed, so trying to control the heat from the heatgun and keep the flower from melting into mush while making sure the plastics had bonded was just. It was like the opposite of fun. It made me wonder why I was putting so much effort into a dinky little prop but my need for hairpin pictures overcame my hatred for evil little petaled flowers.

The tiara had a similar problem as the hairpin did with the melting and the flower shape when I added in new petals and leaves, but it went a lot easier than the hairpin did. The hairpin took like 15 something hours to complete, but the tiara only took like 5 or 6. Both pieces were primed with spray gesso and then painted in acrylics, gilded with gold paint, and then sealed. My hatred for Soowon was once again reignited when I realized I had to gild a tiny line on the edge of every leaf, petal, and butterfly wing on the evil hairpin. I was so happy with how it turned out in the end though, that all the sweat and blood that went into Yona’s accessories was totally worth it!

Now, for Yona’s inner kimono!! The tricky bit for her inner kimono was in the way it had been structured. The top half is your classic left over right look on a kimono, but below the obi sash the robe splits into two solid panels at the front and back, with a break in the seams at the side. I dealt with this by having the top half essentially act as a wrap top, and having one side “lengthened” with the front panel and when it was all attached and covered with the obi, I had the illusion of what looked to be Yona’s magic anime inner kimono.

The worst part of Yona’s outer robe was of how little I had of the fabric to work with. I had four yards with a beautiful, complicated design that was similar to a border print, except it wasn’t weighted to the edge, it was weighted to the center of the yardage. Figuring out how to lay my pattern pieces to have all the designs match up at the seams, while making sure the designs were placed at the correct levels of the robe (clustered around the hems and sleeves) and trying to squeeze out enough for a full length robe was like a walking fever dream. Not to mention that the fabric had color gradients mingled in behind the design for extra fun times.

The material was also a weird satin stretch that made it difficult to lay out perfectly. In the end, I made the robe interfaced and lined throughout to help give it a bit of weight, so it could drape nice and smooth on my body. I really couldn’t have finished this particular piece without my friends helping me pin this evil fabric together and ironing each piece for me as I cut it out. I’ll always be eternally grateful to you three for helping me out in my time of need!!!!!!!

I think that’s most of what I wanted to cover in this post! I’m kicking myself because although I made earrings for Yona, I forgot to put them on in the rush of getting ready 😞 My wigs are both from Arda, a styled Nina for Lili and a trimmed Luthien for Yona!! I wish you can see more of Lili’s hair accessory on the back of her head, but you can see pictures of that on my cosplay blog.

If there’s anything else you want me to elaborate on with or any questions you have on anything I’ve done here that I might have missed, please feel free to send an ask!!! 🌸 

Yona // Lili // King Il // Photos by princesspotatobug on insta

[dramaclover]

Justice Bao: The First Year - A Rant

This drama was not a fun ride. AT ALL. I watched it for the cast and by the cast -specifically Nancy Wu & Raymond Cho, along with the case guests Zoie Tam, Roxanne Tong, Katy Kung. This drama took like 5 months to film, with them travelling to China to shoot outdoor scenes. It is by all means considered a big production.... so I was caught off guard by how badly it turned out.

The Bad

The cinematography was beautiful unfortunately, that seems to be the only thing done right. The sets that were filmed in the studio looked very fake. In fact some of the sets looks like they just reused from a 80s ancient drama. There were also times where you can tell they were standing in front of a green screen. CGI effect was waaaay off. The makeup on Justice Bao - the main character was so very blotchy. You could tell that wasn’t his natural colour. I don’t get how they managed to make that error? They should be able to tell just by looking at him, that’s how uneven the make up was. Angles and lighting has nothing to do with that. The clothing for the main characters were boring. Of course it’s not gonna be as pretty and elaborate of other dramas but it’s like they didn’t even try. Especially the case with Fuk Lan played by Grace Chan had the most cheap looking outfit. She literally looks like she’s wearing a dress bought from a Halloween store. It looks like the fabric could be ripped easily. I know she’s a guest star so maybe tvb just didn’t bother making her a good quality costume? I guess I can’t blame them on that end.

The Ugly

Actors & actresses are very crucial. Ranging from acting skills to straight out popularity and of course the dreaded favouritism. And because of TVB choosing who to push, some ended up getting miscast. I think we can all agree Owen Cheung as Chin Chiu was the ultimate miscast over here. His built was very small and that’s not his fault. Unfortunately when he stands or even sits next to Justice Bao played by Shaun Tam & Gong Sun Ce played by Raymond Cho, he just looks tiny. It doesn’t look like he is capable of protecting them. If anything it looks like they need to protect him back. Owen just does not have that ‘hero’ feel, he’s just small. He’s not bad looking, he’s acting isn’t bad but physically he doesn’t suit the role. And I’m pretty sure he garnered more haters due to this. Dumb part on TVBs end considering Matt Yeung was the first choice to play Chin Chiu before they decided to go with Owen instead. Elaine Yiu as Gei Nim Nim, now acting wise she’s good. Elaine has always been stable when it comes to acting, especially her crying scenes. What went wrong here, is that she portrays a young maid. A maid of a princess that is obviously years younger than her - by a lot. With Elaine’s age she should be a nanny to the princess or in charge of some department. It just felt awkward to have her portray someone that’s supposed to be that much younger. It’s even weirder cause she’s supposed to be the personal maid of the princess. (Personal maids tend to be younger or same age as them) I felt uncomfortable and it didn’t help the princess was so young looking.

The Terrible

I start thinking - okay maybe the cases will be so good you look past all the other bad stuff. Well I was wrong. The cases ranged from predictable to boring to straight up confusion. It’s like they thought hmmm “Let’s not make fantasy cases” to “never mind”. All the cases were by all means caused by other humans. Except Fuk Lans case went down the make belief road. Fuk Lan is a princess of a tribe and she can live forever. She also holds a flower that once is eaten, they can never die. She basically experiments with people and have them drink concoctions that turns them into zombies accidentally. This is the part I don’t get. Why all of a sudden add a fiction element to a straight laced drama? And honestly that arc was boring and I’m still hella confused on what happened to Fuk Lan in the end. Like did she see a mirage? Did she die in the end? But how can she die if she’s supposed to live forever? Was that village real? So she experimented on innocent people that caused deaths & she gets away scot free? Like what on earth is going on. I was pissed that its never talked about again. They literally moved onto a different case and pretended all this fantasy stuff never happened. What a waste of my time on that arc. Whatever moving on. Tam Wai Guk played by Susan Tse is a miracle doctor that saved countless lives with her medical skills. What did she do wrong? She helped someone die aka Euthanasia. The one who passed away was bind to a wheel chair and basically became ‘worthless’ & his father is basically torturing him by having him stay alive. The doctor understood and agreed to help him with death. In this case they went around in circles choosing between letting her live or having her die. In the end Justice Bao was fiercely against having her live - to him killing is killing doesn’t matter even if it’s what the other person wanted. So she gets killed off. Okay no problem. Euthanasia has always been a touchy subject and heavily debated upon even today. The problem is Justice Bao is an idiot. His wife Gei Nim Nim turns out to be an assassin sent to be by his side. Throughout the story she has killed countless of people even an innocent little boy. What does he do after he finds out his wife is a cold blooded murderer? He just accepts it. Like ladeedada my wife is a killer BUT she has her reasons. She was threatened. She didn’t mean to hurt those people. WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH YOU. You literally just chopped the doctors head off cause she did a mercy killing. ONE mercy killing where the victim knew what he was getting into. Never mind the doctor has SAVED so many people. Never mind so many people were against the doctors death. She had to die. While your wife killed so many but let’s pretend that didn’t happen. Anyways Justice Bao tries to save her and protect her. Despite him going on a spiel about murder is murder in the previous case. So dumb. And I’m disgusted with Justice Baos actions. I know this was supposed to be a sentimental love story about his undying love for his wife. His wife that he thought was kind and caring. But actually is a ruthless killer. But I was not feeling it. Maybe if the doctor arc never happened I wouldn’t feel this way. Other cases I didn’t mention means it was too predictable or it was so boring I forgot what even happened. I only remembered these 2 so clearly cause it pissed me off and was so ridiculously written.

The Horrible

What kind of stupid ending was that? Pong Zik played by Lee Shing Cheong was a villain. He did a lot of evil deeds and was just not a nice person. He gets accused of killing his wife played by Strawberry Yeung, but that gets resolved. So what, cause he’s not the killer, he’s allowed to go back to being the great chancellor? He doesn’t even like his wife, so with her death - he’s literally roaming free. Like with Fuk Lan the bad person gets away free. He’s still a chancellor so he’s still rich and living a comfortable life in the palace. What happened to punishing those who do wrong? Because that’s not what happened here clearly in 2 DIFFERENT CASES. The Emperor is a literal piece of shit that should be dethroned. He’s a puppet to the Empress Dowager & all he cares about is being the Emperor. Like your consort that you basically begged to marry you, died along with your child. Not only do you not try to get revenge you try to play it out like everything is fine. You are just a horny good for nothing person that only became the Emperor cause of your stupidity. Ugh he’s literally the worst character in the drama. Tong Hui San played by Kelly Fu deserved better than this lustful Emperor. One minute he says he loves her & she’s her one and only, next thing she crowns another concubine behind her back. I know. I know he’s the Emperor. No way is he just gonna have have one wife. Well then don’t make empty promises & then go behind her back. She only entered the palace cause she believed you really loved her. Instead she just suffered there. The last 15 minutes of the last episode made ZERO SENSE. What were the writers smoking when they wrote that? I’m not even exaggerating. I can’t even explain the ending cause I don’t even know what happened. I know what they were trying to do. They were trying to aim for a sequel that will NEVER EVER HAPPEN cause this was a failure of a drama. I gotta give props to them though cause it got people talking. Cause people like us are trying to make sense of what happened. Ugh I don’t even know. I’m wasting my time being so frustrated with this crappy ending. Usually open endings makes me want a sequel just so it can resolve the questions... but for this NOPE. I DONT WANT IT. I’m just gonna pretend I’ve never watched that. I can live not knowing what the eff happened.

The Only Silver Lining

Only interesting case was about Wan Chin Yu played by Nancy Wu, her Father played by KK Cheung and her adopted sister Tong Hui San. But their case unfortunately plays out throughout the drama, so you cannot just skip episodes or you’ll be heavily confused or you just won’t be as invested. I do admit that the last few episodes featuring the 3 of them were very good. It was gripping. When you find out that the Father was evil all along and killed Hui San. It was shocking - I really believed he loved them both despite them being adopted. He was always so attentive and supportive. To find out he was using both of them the whole time and just discarded them when he no longer needed them shocked me. Hui Sans death was so sad. She was so innocent & didn’t even understand what was happening. This arc, the cinematography, stellar acting by KK Cheung & Raymond Cho were the only saving grace in this drama. But even with these good points it’s still a drama not worth watching.

Final Thoughts

DONT EVER WATCH THIS DRAMA. The writers literally stuck up the middle finger to the viewers hoping to see a NORMAL ending. SKIP THIS DRAMA. You are not missing out. Waste of the actresses & actors used in this. Waste of the viewers time. Also tarnished the Justice Bao name. Excuse me while I go bleach my brain.

[pacman-tattoo]

All even? O:

under the cut since it got long

2. Favorite part of writing.

idk. maybe just being able to share a vision while also letting other people imagine things as they want? if that makes sense???

4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?

mmm….. i guess sometimes i’ll play certain songs/albums?

as in i basically listen to bmc on repeat sometimes when i’m stuck

6. Favorite character you ever created.

:0 i love jaden!!! my son!!! a good boy

other than that, i rly loved writing charlotte and joanne when i wrote countdown even tho they weren’t too prominent since they weren’t the main focus

8. Favorite trope to write.

can i count the new kid in school as a trope

thats a trope tho right

that one

i like it.

10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.

can i say i’d write a romance book with literally anyone that i’m mutuals w/ that write????

or any book. romance would be the best option imo but i’d be down for anything

12. How do you deal with self-doubts?

i dont

i technically bottle them up and they they overflow at fuck me up but

uh. alright so.

whenever i start having self-doubts about writing, sometimes i’ll just kinda… leave my writing alone for a while? like, sometimes i’ll end up taking a step back and basically seek some validation somewhere else maybe talk it out with someone else?

other than that, i’ll either push myself to keep writing since it’ll distract me from my doubts.

14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?

i was about to say something else but.

alright.

countdown. that one rich soulmate fic?

i literally found what would have been the hospital rich was at (it wasn’t a hospital, but it shared the name), figured out how long it would take to get there and back by train, looked up train schedules + ticket prices, and basically how to get to the medical center from one of the train stations there

that’s the first thing that came to mind tbh. i’ve probably done more in the past but idk

18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?

nonexistent.

ok no it’s more of me glimpsing over my writing before posting it

20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.

kk. from my poly fic:

       A week later and you’re already buried in your work. The contents of your room have practically been shoved into the closet as you invested all your time into each little detail in each costume. You spent your days either working on small details while in different classes, spray painting shoes during drama, or scribbling in answers to homework due the next period (or day, if you were lucky), courtesy of Christine. If you had a chance, you’d crash on the small, cheap couch in the drama room for a bit, and then you were back home and sewing and (rarely) burning your fingers on hot glue.

       It was hell, but it was worth it.

there u go.

22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?

ok it legit depends. usually my first draft is the draft since almost everything i post on this account is a rough draft tbh (which is also the reason why i get so much writing done tbh)

which sucks because you babes deserve so much better tbh i still dont see why you guys follow me if u want me to be honest

but anyway

i’ll usually rewrite something once or twice if it doesn’t stick the very first time. (aka this is what’s going on with control pt.2)

24. Poetry or prose, and why?

prose. im bad at poetry + im not a huge fan of poetry in general so :/

26. Standalone or series, and why?

probably standalone stuff, but series can be good sometimes. mainly standalone because i don’t have to really consider another part - most of the stuff that i wrote more than one part for i actually didn’t plan for a second part

stuff like Fish Out of Water and Control were things i kinda knew i’d have more than one part once i finished em

30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.

it’s not a single line but the i love you from michael at the end of Third Wheel

i think about it since it’s such a sweet, simple line tbh?

34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?

typed bc my handwriting is b a d

36. A spoiler for story _________.

Control Pt.2:

get ready for some shit to haunt you.

also, being sick can honestly build some bonds between ppl. nothing like texting each other complaining about being sick as fuck.

38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?

i’ve shared my christine fic plans with scott!! he found the idea cute

plus i shared a michael fic idea with lucky and they basically pushed me to write it (since i was kinda :/ about writing it??? they basically made me decide to so

42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.

for my ocs that i don’t rly talk about here: i usually draw their personality, looks, ect. from a single idea. jaden came from me wanting to write a more bookish character. welton came from the idea of me wanting to make a gamer, essentially. sachiyo came from a self insert and evolved from there.

for the ocs that i put in my fics: i don’t really have concrete looks for them - you guys can imagine them however you want! sometimes i might reference them twirling hair around their finger or a tattoo or dimples or something - but for the most part, you guys can legit imagine them however. personality usually draws from what the reader needs, in a sense?

44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.

i dont even know tbh

46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie?

uhhh

i have a Really old project called To Perdition and Back which follows a man named Carson as he and his team basically saves ppl from a sort of purgatory???

it would basically deal with his personal struggle. he had an affair with ivan, a man at his work who died during one of their expeditions - and the fact his wife is basically never there for him or his kids, which causes a bit of a strain on the family itself.

the tv show would basically follow carson + his team tbh? plus there’d be subtle hints leading toward the fact that (spoiler) ivan isn’t dead.

the plan is that the show also has representation tbh??? i’ll talk more about it if anyone’s curious.

48. Favorite genre to write in.

uhhh romantic shit.

52. How did writing change you?

idk it basically helped me develop a coping mechanism in a way???