#also yeah being trans i love that y'all are down with all the gender and body stuff i draw

[fobnsfwdoodlesbackup]

the other anon that mentioned your genderswap designs reminded me that i'm so deeply obsessed w them as well...i esp love your girl patrick omg everything you draw w her is so good! even just the design in general i love, i always come back to that one doodle page you did w a couple different girltricks and i love them all sm, and your art of her w girl pete + that one of her gettin railed...whoof i am a girl lover thank you for feeding me🙏🙏

Hello why are y'all so nice 🥺🥺🥺

The owner of this blog is ✨pansexual✨ so I really appreciate that y'all follow me through drawing different genders and sexualities!!

[orionicchaos]

Iris Bleue | trans!ftm!reader x tartaglia

× trans, ftm, m!reader with he/him pronouns (you are referred as "you" tho)

× headcanons

× character : childe/tartaglia/ajax (he is referred to as ajax)

× this is part of the "LGBTQ+ PROTECTORS" series.

🌺💮

TW : transphobia, gender dysphoria (voice, height, chest, genitals, periods), your family "accepts" you but they have a REALLY "hard time" refering you as your name and not your deadname, they misgender you a lot, they also are inconsiderate of your feelings, reader is not on T, didn't have any surgery and doesn't have a binder, mention of arguments (with your family), mention of sex (that part is red), nicknames (baby, darling..), no proofread ! (it's 1 am)

other warnings : modern!au, fluff, hurt/comfort, pre-established relationship (ajax is your bf), ajax is literally your protector, ajax is so so sweet

| resume : Basically, a bunch of headcanons and scenarios? of ajax being the boyfriend you deserve |

a.n. : this is clearly me trying to cope with my gender dysphoria and the way my family acts. this is based on my experience, insecurities and feelings, and it may not match yours. i certainly don't want y'all to feel bad guys. i thought about writing it for myself and keep it private but maybe it could comfort some of you if your struggles are similar to mine! trans people's experiences are all different! i tried to make the "tw" as precise as possible so you could be warned. ily guys <3

it's my first time writing something like that and im not proud but that's a first time!

navi.

♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

Coming out

-When you came out to him, you two were already dating. You were quite scared to tell him that you were actually a man

-But everything went well. He was just like "Oh okay?", and when he noticed your widened eyes, he took your hand in his and told you he was happy that you trusted him enough to come out, that he was bisexual so it wasn't a problem for him to date a guy, and that after all, you remained the person he loved and cherished so he would always support you and be by your side

-you cried because you expected a break-up, so he pulled you into a hug, kissing your face, rubbing your back, and reassuring you

-you both spent the whole night cuddling in his bed and he offered you to pick a sweater from his wardrobe to wear, he asked for your pronouns and if you would like to start a medical transition (insisted that if you didn't or wasn't ready it was fine and that it was your choice)

-yes he has some knowledges about transidentity, since his siblings have trans friends! They often came to play with teucer and sonia so he learned few things to make them comfortable in the house (he's a trans kids protector, fight me if you think otherwise)

-forgot for a whole week to ask for your name since he only uses petnames like "baby" or "darling" and went "damn i didn't ask him if he has a new name" when he was about to say your birthname in a conversation

-nervously, he asked you if you had a new name and you let out a chuckle, answering that you actually did

"my new name is (Name), thanks for asking, baby"

"woah, that's a pretty nice name darling, it does suit an handsome man like you"

-yeah that man takes every chance he gets to compliment you (and awkwardly flirt)

-he never, and i mean never, misgendered you. at first, it wasn't natural for him (for the first three days), because he was used to your former pronouns, so he had to think before speaking, but it quickly became completely normal for him to call you his boyfriend and use he/him!

-overall, your coming out went very, very well <3

Gender dysphoria

-he can't understand how if feels like to have gender dysphoria, but seeing you sad and crying because of that let him know that's it's not the best thing ever

-he feels so bad whenever you look upset about the way you look in the mirror, trying to hide your chest with weird posture, tears rolling down your cheeks

-when he sees you in these moments, he compliments you more than usual, pulls you into hugs, calls you his handsome boyfriend and kisses your lips, trying to make you think about something else. he will often lay you on the bed next to him, deciding that a nap would be great because you needed to rest

-he's willing to buy you a binder whenever you ask, and if he feels like it, he would even bring the idea to you

-also offers you to go buy new clothes and chooses shops with a lot of men brands

-when you feel dysphoric about your voice, he doesn't know what to do

-he tries to cheer you up but he feels like shit for not being able to make you feel better and allow yourself to talk more

-when you go silent because you heard how high pitched your voice is once more, he has no idea of what to do exept pulling you into a hug and giving you kisses

-same for when you feel dysphoric about your height. he knows that him being a tall ass ginger doesn't help and feels kinda guilty

-expect a lot of kisses whenever you feel dysphoric about anything. he tries his very best to cheer you up and make you comfortable, and he hopes he's doing a decent job about it

-you feel so thankful to have him as you boyfriend, he is so considerate of your feelings

-when you feel dysphoric about your genitals, he always tells you that he doesn't care about them, and that it doesn't make you less a man than him because of how it looks down there

/mention of sex/ -if you're comfortable enough, he would gladly show you how it doesn't matter that you don't have a penis! would also allow you to dom him to boost your self-confidence (will never admit that he's a switch)

-11/10, the best when you have period cramps, will buy you gender neutral pads/tampons, bring medicines and will give you even more kisses. + bonus point because his body is so warm, it eases your cramps, so he is your hot pillow most of the time

-he's just very supportive and words/physical touch are how he mainly comfort you, but it's not so rare for him to bring snacks and start a cozy netflix date!

-remember, he's hella rich. he could and is willing to pay for any surgery that crosses your mind, any binder you want, your hormones treatment, and your clothes. And if you want to buy them by yourself/don't want them, he will support you and help you to make your like easier

When someone misgenders you/is being transphobic

-oh man, that boy is not chill with people just casually misgendering you or using your deadname

-you've been out for months, and hearing some people just ignoring the fact that you corrected them for the hundred time makes him wonder if they want him to punch their face

-seeing you losing your smile is enough for him to almost jump on the person

-he would probably insult them and tell them to shut the hell up, yelling that you passed very well and that they were assholes

-you have to hold him back from punching them

-he corrects everyone who misgenders you : people in the street, in the train, when buying groceries, the doctor... it's always "sorry but my boyfriend, (Name), is a man" and he doesn't give a hell if he has to say it ten times a day

-he'll get very, very upset everytime people disrespect you like this. if he had the occasion he would probably tell them his thoughts and not it the polite way

-with people just being transphobic on purpose... Well, nothing good will happen to them

-if you're here, he would keep his composure because he knows that you don't want to "make a scene", telling them that their little "opinion" about you is not needed at all

-some lines like "who asked?" or "hmm handsome, do you mind if we go back to the house now? Talking with stupid people is irritating" are very frequent

-sometimes mutters a little "shit i wish i could slice his nasty tongue", with a fake angry smile directed to the man

-when you're not here... he will find a way to beat the shit out of them

-sometimes using words, roasting them to the bone and making sure their disgusting mouth will not be used to insult you again

-sometimes using venus and mars, his two hands, making sure they lose enough teeth to not be able to speak anymore

-big problems need big solutions

-he will never tell you this of course, not wanting you to feel bad or to scold him becaude violence is not the answer

-he always smiles a little when you rant about how that guy who was acting as a transphobic asshole to you some days ago became silent, not daring to look at you

-he makes sure all your colleagues treat you fine and use your right pronouns and name

-and he comforts you the best he can when you're feeling bad because of transphobia and being misgendered

-the boyfriend you deserve!!

With you family

-you're not out to all of your family, and the ones you're out to..

-ajax doesn't like them. like at all

-like, the first time he went to your parents' house, he was quite nervous because he wanted to be accepted as your boyfriend

-you both arrived, and for 15 minutes straight, he was just confused because they kept using your deadname and she/her

-didn't you told them four or five months ago??

-he tried to teach them that what they were doing hurt you, that your name is (Name) and that you're a man

-he put it in very simple terms that even a toddler would understand

-but they kept refusing to acknowledge it

-because they said that they accepted you, but on the other hand, they misgendered you and used your deadname

-and it became clear

-they didn't accepted you

-and ajax has nothing to do with people who don't accept you

-he managed to make you leave the dinner sooner, insisting for two whole hours that you were his amazing boyfriend (Name) when talking about you, and at your house, he told you that he had nothing to do with your family anymore and that you should break the contact

-you both had a fight that night, and when he apologized the next day, he told you that you should do what you wanted but that he would never get along with your family, and he thought that they didn't deserve you

-for months, you decided to keep a bond with your family, trying not to cry everytime they said that you were just being selfish, that it was more difficult for them, that if you wanted them to understand you, you had to understand them first, that you were still the "little girl that grew up in the belly of your mother" who wore pretty dresses and had long hair

-ajax was starting to lose his mind

-finally, you decided that you should do something

-you gave them a last chance, and seeing that they didnt wanted it, you said "see you never", okay not actually like that but that's the spirit

-that was hard but you managed to go through it with ajax's support

-by the way, he has a very supportive family who loves you, and his friends are also your friends so you feel better about not having your family in you life anymore

Random

-he goes to pride walks with you! making sure you bring enough water an sun cream

-he makes you sit on his shoulders as you wave the trans flag

-he buys you plushies with the trans flag colours

-overall, he's just an amazing boyfriend!!

credit : @orionicchaos

[elegybeatty]

Got tagged by @zoroarkthief for a "9 people you'd like to get to know better" game, so, here I go!

Three Ships:

MariHilda (Fire Emblem Three Houses) - Got tagged by a FE fan, so I'm starting with a FE ship, lol. Anyway, IntSys are cowards for not giving Marianne a can9n monster form and I owe every artist who gives her one my life. UPBEAT POWERFUL WARRIOR × TIMID MONSTER GIRL MY BELOVED!!!

Pearlina (Splatoon 2) - I have very generic feelings about this ship, but they're basically my OTP, so I couldn't not include them. They're just...SO damn cute 😭😭😭

Ninten × Lloyd (Mother 1) - OKAY, this one's gonna take some explaining, fjsbbsbsbdbshsh. This is kind of a crackship I started thinking about for a really random reason. I thought up this idea of Lloyd being a trans woman when he gets older and that eventually evolved into a whole ass AU in my head about the Mother gang as adults and Ninten and Lloyd catching up and falling in love and yeah hfvdgdgvdhsbshshd. Idk if this ship counts since I don't really ship the canon ones, just the versions of them I imagined in my head, but, yeag, gender affirming childhood friends to lovers slowburn fic coming...never, but just imagine it, okay?

First ship ever: Depends on what you count as a ship. First time I shipped two characters genuinely knowing what shipping is was prooooobably Lapidot? But my memory's real bad, so maybe not. If we're counting dumb childhood stuff, it was probs, like, Mario and Peach, lmao.

Last Song: Eternal Nausea by Black Dresses. Weirdly enough, that song calms me down when I'm feeling anxious.

Currently Reading: Just finished a book I picked up back in highschool and never read for whatever reason, Dreadnought by April Daniels. It was really good, though got way more intense than I was expecting, but in a good way! Not sure what to read next, I'm not much of a bookworm. If y'all have recommendations, lemme know!

Currently Watching: Uhhhh, nothing, haven't watched tv much at all lately. Just watched an hour long youtube video on Steven Universe: The Movie earlier today, that was nice.

Currently consuming: Lemonade, yummy :3

Currently craving: MORE LEMONADE

I'll tag @transmasckirby @quaintpanic @florrrfauna @metroid-fusion @baconator-deluxe @malicious-face @swagtomomo @thethirdstrongestsylvi aaaaaaand anyone else who wants to join in. Also, apologies if any of y'all don't like being tagged and also no pressure to join in, wawawaw

[winterwerewolf]

Coming to terms with being a man.

I am certainly not the first to bring it up and I will not be the last but: The hardest part for me personally as a trans man is not the fact that I experience severe gender dysphoria, it's the fact that being male/masc or a man has been so severely demonized by queer people that were supposed to be my friends, my found family, that it steered me right back into an even bigger closet for 8 years. Yeah. 8 fucking years. I knew I was a man when I was 12 years old and aside from the obvious hostility I faced because of garbage cishet people it was even worse through non-cis, non-het and non-cishet people.

I see others like me trying to raise awareness for this issue only to be shut down as someone who "whines and bitches" or even "tries to separate and divide the community". Every time an issue is brought up by trans men we are accused of "looking for issues where there are none", we are accused of "attempting separatism" and accused of "stealing other peoples spotlight" by OTHER queer people no less and all of this gets sort of covered up. As if queer people cannot be evil. As if being queer and specifically being trans somehow absolves you from being a massive bitch and asshole towards other trans people.

You do not have to punch me in the face to make clear you want me to face/experience violence. You don't have to say "I hate trans men in particular" for me to know that you do. When I found the Hashtag Transmisandry and Transandrophobia I cried tears of joy because there was finally a group of other men and mascs who have very similar experiences to mine. I am thanking y'all on my knees and kissing your hands for being brave enough to share these awful experiences even when faced with hostility and scrutiny and even though retelling also means reliving them to some extent. My point here is: Queer people who are hostile towards me have always had this weird victimhood complex of "I was affected by the patriarchy therefore it is my right to hate men." When I dared to point out that I also have experiences with the patriarchy (as does every member of society btw, there are no people unaffected, they are just affected in different ways) I was told to shut up and sit down because I could not possibly understand what it feels like to be raised in a misogynistic society. As if I am not viewed as a woman by transphobes and alike. As if I was not raised "like a girl". As if I had no fucking first hand experience and still do because I do not "pass".

I was there in the boat with you and you decided that, no, actually I never fucking was because what, it challenges your narrative about trans men experiencing zero oppression?

Anyways, this is long and ramble-y enough as it is so to finalize this emotional mess: Fuck TERFs, TIRFs and Baeddals or whatever y'all decide to name your cute little hateful-group next for making me feel like I have no voice, no right to love myself, like I am somehow rotten through and through. Fuck you so hard.

[thedancingcockroach134]

Human Tito x Human Ozzie pt. 9

(Yeah, yeah....)

"Woah! Aren't y'all together? A lot of people were talking about y'all last month!" A random patient had came up to Tito and Ozzie, everyone was at the cafeteria. "Sí...Why?" Tito looked confused, he held Ozzie's hand tightly for his safety. "Well, there's a new couple here! I mean, both of you are popular for being together, but did you here about the new ones? They broke up a month ago and now they came back together!" Sara joined in the conversation, "Hey! How about we just continue eating our food and not worry about any other popular relationships here! Ozzie, eat your burrito!" Ozzie nodded and started eating. Tito looked at the random patient, looking at him like if he was pissed, "Do I know you or some shit? Can you leave? I really don't have time." The random patient was confused, "But, we were just talking- Y'know, I-I'll go." The patient walks away and sits on his table seat. Ozzie randomly started shaking and started looking like if he was choking. Tito and the others panicked. "Holy fuck! Ozzie!" Just as Tito tried to help him, Ozzie puked. "Shit! Does this food have something in it? It made me puke the last time! " Tito helped him up as Sara and Cammy decided to help take him to the nurse. As soon as they walked in, nurse Mitzy smiled, "Hello, my dears! Welcome again, or not! I recognize 2 of my patients, Elías and Oswald! Or do you prefer Olivia, my favorite girly one!" Cammy and Sara played along, acting like they didn't even know out Ozzie being transgendered. "Olivia? U-Uhm..." Sara tried to pretend. Tito looked confused and pissed, "First of all, don't use my real name! Second of all, what do you mean by 'My favorite girly one'?" He looked at Ozzie. Nurse Mitzy took a deep breath, "Well, 'Ozzie' is transgender! She wants to be a girl and I accept that!" Ozzie shaked, "I-I..." Now, 'she' couldn't process a word. She was stuck trying to come up with an explanation. Nurse Mitzy had a nervous smile, "Now, let's figure out what happened! So, uh...." Tito looked at Ozzie, very pissed, "Are you hiding something from me? Is that the damn reason why you wore earrings the last time? Ozzie, be honest with me!" Ozzie started tearing up, "I-I..." Nurse Mitzy felt horrible, not letting Ozzie come out by herself. "Ozzie! Are you trans? Are you fucking trans!?" Nurse Mitzy tried to calm Tito down, "Well, uh, in the past, she was never accepted. Being here made her feel like she could be anything! Can you accept that for me-" Tito shaked his head, "You should've told me a long time ago so we could've worked this out! A-And you wanna be a girl? Are you fucking serious? Wow, you are a sissy! I can't believe you-" Cammy yelled at Tito, "Tito, are you fucking serious?! That's the love of your life you're talking bad too! Why the fuck are you being such a dick and accept the fact that Ozzie just wants to be herself? Why are talking to her like that?!" Nurse Mitzy was everywhere, trying to calm everyone down, "Now, now, dears. Let's just figure out what's wrong with the patient and we can sort this out after-" Ozzie had a very strong potention to yell, and for the first time ever, it was the best words she's ever processed, "I-I'm...sorry! Ozzie w-will...never be a-accepted b-by...you!" Tito was shocked and realized what he did, "W-Wait-" Before he could say anything, Ozzie ran out the room. "Guys, are we gonna check a patient or-" Sara cutted out Nurse Mitzy's sentece and also decided to yell, "I-I've seen a lot of damm people get heartbroken for their personalities, hobbies, genders, sexualities. Y-You...You just...You just can't even accept the fact that your own boyfriend wants to be a girl now! Cammy is right, you're being such a dick and a transphobic w*tb*ck! I can't believe you! I thought I knew you, but I was wrong! You're a slut, an idiot, a transphobic bitch, and a lust sinner! You just want sexual desire, but you just can't accept Ozzie's choice!" She looks at Cammy and nurse Mitzy, "We accept him becoming a her, why can't you? Especially to Ozzie, why?" Tito felt like he was becoming like his own father.

He was acting like how his father used to act. Transphobic, sexually desiring, unaccepting his own partner. He felt horrible. "A-Am I started to become like my papá?... He was transphobic, he told me that I would grow up to just be a pornstar and I grew up acting like one, he was unaccepting towards my mamá... I-I'm sorry-" Cammy cutted Tito out from his sentence, "Sorry isn't gonna fix anything, Tito! The fact that Ozzie's autistic, and you wanna act like someone that's about to hop on a dick!" Nurse Mitzy was surprised and shocked about what everything happened, "We should just handle this situation later and deal with whatever health or sickness- whatever happened! Are y'all just here to argue, then get out! Not in my office- well, room!" A few hours later, Ozzie was in her room. She was crying on the bed, thinking about everything she's been through her whole life. She had remembered the day her dad shot himself, the time she was bullied for wanting to be a girl at school, the hits and yelling her mother did, the sexual abuse and rape. It's like she remembered hearing her mother, "Why the hell did I ever bring you to this world?! You're such a hellhole!" She remembered the exact words her mother said as she got slapped in the face. "I-I'm sorry! O-Oswald...won't do it...again!" She could hear herself. She cried a lot more with the horrible memories. Today's memories from earlier made her cry even more. She got out of her bed when she heard the door knock. "N-No come...in!" She had said when she processed. The door was unlocked, so the person behind it opened it. "Ozzie, we're so sorry for what he did!" Cammy and Sara walked in and sat down with her. "How did it make you feel? Are you okay?" Cammy had asked Ozzie, "N-No..." Ozzie thought of what to say. "Would you like it if both of you talked in private?" Ozzie nodded. Tito had walked in, "Look, I'm really sorry for...what I did. It was unexpected for myself. I feel so horrible for calling you a sissy." Cammy and Sara had walked out, "Get us if you need anything, we'll be in the Super Happy Fun Room." Sara had said as they both walked out. Ozzie had looked at Tito, "I-I..." Tito sat down next to Ozzie, "You don't have to say anything, it was all my fault. I should've never did all that. Do you still feel sick? Nurse Mitzy didn't get to check you." Ozzie shook her head. Tito scooched closer to Ozzie and touched his hand. "I accept you now. Be whoever you wanna be, it won't matter to me anymore. Be you. I know that you probably won't accept my apology. I'm such a ¡pendejo! I'm suicidal, kinda, I self-harm myself, I was raped by my papá. T-The only thing I have left to cheer me up is you. Please, forgive me for everything that happened." Ozzie put her head on Tito's shoulder, showing a sign of forgiveness. It wasn't expected since it was such a huge thing to forgive, but eventually you have to forgive someone. Ozzie processed a sentence, "I-I...love you!" Tito teared up and the tears in his eyes went out, "¡T-Te amo, tambien!" Ozzie smiled and processed a sentence, "I...be girl?" Tito smiled, "Sí..."

(Pt. 10 coming soon! 😍🙏) (This fucking cringy goofy ass story tf 😭)

Sneak peek of pt. 10: Escaped, the crazy 8 must learn to stay together, while 2 plan to have a child of their own...

[acearohippo]

I dunno if you've talked about this but what do you think about LiXuan being parents? Would they want kids? :3c

What do I think?? WHAT DO I THINK??? You do not know the can of worms you've just dashed onto the concrete.

Umm... Hmm... I guess there can be an mpreg warning?? *wavey hands* and, perhaps, a mild case of body dysphoria??? you'll see when you get to Tang Xuan's section.

But for now:

Li Ling ABSOLUTELY wants kids. He thought he didn't, then he was forced to volunteer at an elementary school after school program and was suddenly gripped with the intense desire to see a bunch of mini hims running around. He wants an ARMY'S WORTH of his own children.

Not babies though, man's terrified of babies. He's the type of parent that really excels at parenting once their kid enters school. Before that? Lost™, Confused™, Perpetually-in-an-Extistential-Crisis™™™. And once the kid hits the teenage years, they're practically ready and solid enough to tussle and throw hands with, so he goes from stern but nurturing and doting to "these hands rated e for everyone who don't CATCH THEY ATTITUDE". He gets along SO WELL with children, too, that while people are shocked at first on how enthusiasticly he wants to be a father, they realised rather quickly that it makes a lot of sense given how into it he gets when playing with children and how he has a permanent spot as a substitute teacher (which he did the work to get credentials for) at several local elementary schools.

As for Tang Xuan, I guess we have unlocked a Personal Backstory Headcannon. Many of you know that I have Tang Xuan's gender as intersex. What y'all don't know is I don't headcannon him as trans. It's a very long and drawn out backstory, but the gist is that Tang Xuan was raised a little boy, hit puberty, grew boobs and started getting (sporadicly) periods, which had people around him trying to "be progressive" and call him by feminine pronouns and Mei, and that caused a bit of an identity crisis. It's less that he transitioned and more that he had to really hammer it down to his folks and peers (at the time) that he wasn't a girl and the new additions didn't change his perception. And then he became an esper and that took way more precedence over trying to define who he was to others. This leaves our boy in a very strange sort of limbo. He loves his body and takes care of it. Sometimes he wears compression clothes to mask most of the curves, but that's mostly due to his active lifestyle, rather than any dysphoria or discomfort. But, growing up after reaching puberty, there were a lot of... Let's say dated remarks on his changes. Lots of "oh good, you can have babies!" And "now you'll be able to be a real woman". You know, nothing inherently wrong nor demeaning, just misplaced platitudes that didn't factor in how he might feel.

Does he want kids? Yeah, sure, it'd be nice in a decade or so. But does he want to have them? He's not sure. The idea doesn't entirely ick him, but he also doesn't feel comfortable "playing into the role" that others assigned for him. He could adopt but he knows he'd want a child or two that came from half of his genes.

All this to say, that LiXuan will be having their own kids, but not after some heavy discussion and planning. It helps that, once Tang Xuan gets pregnant, he is forced into solitude to be doted on by Li Ling and their families and closest friends. So when they do emerge in society, it causes mass confusion and the focus is more on "WHERE DID THIS BABY COME FROM???" rather than "TANG XUAN WAS PREGNANT???"

And, yes, they're both solid parents. Definitely awkward and young, making very common and- usually non life-threatening- mistakes. Yes they were those parents that shipped their toddlers off to daycare just so they can get a break from them. No shame there, they need it. Li Ling is that parent educators wish took disciplining more seriously (if no one ends up in the hospital, s'all good yeah?) and Tang Xuan is that parent educators think isn't invested enough in their kid (he's still a model, on top of being a high ranking union officer. hours are wild and free time is sporadic).

They both have to take up family counseling once their kids become teenagers because oh boy, karma is a b#tch and their kids- of course- have the worst of both of their personalities x10 due to raging teenage hormones.

But you know what? Their kids grow up well enough, knowing they are loved and will always have a safe space within their dads' arms (and extra arms) and once the hormones settle as they become adults and go through uni and enter the workforce, Li Ling and Tang Xuan are pleased to see that their kids still talk to them and seek them out for advice or randomly drop by to hang out (and steal their leftovers and tupperware). All that hard work pays off.

They, later on, decide to become foster parents so they can still impact a child's life without needing to relive the horrors of raising them from birth to graduation.

[helenaheissner]

Love During Robot Fighting Time: Chapter 13

Hello, lovelies! Hope y'all are doing well :)

Don't forget you can read three chapters ahead on this story, twenty chapters ahead on "A Dream of Summer Rain", and two chapters ahead on "Magical Girl Exorcist Squad", by becoming a paid subscriber on my Substack or my Patreon!

***

Kate

“So, you’re going by Kate now, and say that you’re trans?” Dr. Chopra, my general practitioner, said. She was a stout middle-aged with a happy face and black hair threaded with gray and worn in a long braid. I’d called to make an appointment as soon as I’d gotten home from the fight on Friday, and miraculously, an opening was there for Monday morning. 

“Yes, ma’am, that’s right,” I said, nodding happily. I wore a short-sleeved light blue blouse and a knee-length red skirt and a face full of makeup, my strappy-sandal clad feet dangling on the side of the patient platform. 

“Would you like me to refer you to an endocrinologist, then? We have one here at the clinic who specializes in gender affirming care. Should be covered by your insurance.”

“Yes please!”

“Sounds good! Let’s get your bloodwork done today, make sure everything is on the up and up, and the endocrinologist should be able to prescribe you Estradiol and Spironolactone so long as everything comes back okay. You should also give some thought to freezing some sperm, if you want to have biological kids someday.”

“Hm, alright then,” I said. “Makes sense.”

“Anything else I can do for you today?”

“No, that’s everything. Thank you so much!” 

With the easy appointment done, it was time to move onto the hard one: the meeting with my sponsor. 

 Mr. Gaines did a double-take when I walked into his office an hour later. “What’s, uh, what’s going on here, Calloway?”

“I’m trans,” I said simply. 

“Hm.”

“Hm?”

“Hm. You’re trans. So you didn’t lose a bet?”

“... No,” I said, an ugly, icy feeling coating my esophagus. 

“This isn’t a bit?”

“No,” I said, redirecting my eyes to the floor as I sat down on the uncomfortable plastic chair. 

“You’re trans?”

“I’m trans,” I said, trying to swallow the guilt and shame that was saturating my being. 

“Hm.”

“What… What does that mean? In this context, what does ‘hm’ mean?”

“Well, to be blunt, it means I’m ambivalent about all this.”

“Oh?” I said, my voice dropping into a lower octave. I had to stop myself from clamping my hand over my mouth. 

“On the one hand, supporting you will be seen as supporting trans rights, which may alienate some of my clientele,” Gaines said flatly. 

“Oh.”

“On the other hand,” Gaines continued, “It could open up new markets for me with more socially progressive types. Given I’m hoping to expand into NorCal, that might not be a bad thing.”

“Oh,” I said. Where was he going with this…?

“Hm, well, I suppose the only way out is through,” Gaines said.

“Meaning?”

“Meaning I’ll need your help to sell this.”

“What is ‘this?’”

He gestured at all of me and said, “This. This whole… Gimmick.”

“It’s not a gimmick, it’s my identity,” I said, eyes narrowing.

“Right, yeah,” Gaines said. “How would you feel about becoming our spokesperson, maybe doing a photoshoot for our social media page?”

“Uh… I…,” did not like where this was going.

“I would also need you to write up a mission statement for all this that I can use to promote you as my client, make it clear that I stand with you, that my gym/garage doesn’t tolerate discrimination on the basis of sex, yada yada yada, all that touchy-feely woke bullshit. The hippies in this town will eat it up.”

I blinked. “What?”

“Just something to think about,” he said. “Look, I’m taking a risk by holding onto you as a client. I need you to work with me.”

“That… That makes sense,” I said, ignoring the weird feeling of being treated like an object. Was this gonna be a thing from now on? 

“I’m gonna put you in touch with my social media guru, Nadine; she’ll help you with this whole… Image adjustment you’re going through.”

“You know you can just say ‘transition’, right?” I said, groaning internally as it slipped out. 

“Yeah, but that’s personal- right now we’re talking business, kid,” Gaines said. 

“Right,” I said in monotone. 

The meeting wrapped up, and I left the place with an uncomfortable feeling of being used sitting in my gut like a rock. He wasn’t wrong per se, I did have my career to consider, and as a businessman, he had a right to view things that way. And he was my sponsor, not my friend- it made sense for him to think about what our professional relationship would be going forward. 

Still. He didn’t have to be so damn blunt about it. 

I hopped in my truck and drove myself home for my final appointment of the day. When I pulled into the driveway, Faith was already there leaning against her SUV, an old antique of a car painted red and blue with white stars on the doors. It had a bumper sticker on it labeled ‘Star Rocket Racer.’ She leaned against the hood, wearing a plaid miniskirt, wedge-heeled black boots, and a v-neck light blue t-shirt with the comic book character Stargirl on it. Her long black hair was worn loosely about her shoulders, her makeup immaculate, silver hoop earrings dangling from her ears. A necklace dangled above her cleavage, which… Oh wow, cleavage. 

It was, uh… 

I’d been so busy fawning over Zeke lately I’d barely noticed how pretty Faith had gotten. And she’d gotten really freaking pretty- the kind of pretty I wished (probably in vain) that I might be after a year on HRT. 

“Hey, girl,” she said. It made my heart sing, just hearing that. She was a girl and I was a girl- we were both trans girls and that was lovely. It was like she was telling me personally ‘you’re valid and you’re trans and you’re not a pervert with a fetish.’ Honestly, after that business meeting, I needed it. 

“Hey,” I smiled, going in for the hug. She stiffened briefly, but then patted my back and returned the hug. 

“How’d the appointment go?” she asked as I led her into the back door and up the stairs to my family’s apartment.  

“It was good! I’ll hopefully be able to start on E and Spiro by the end of the week!”

“Fantastic!”

“Did it go this fast for you?”

“Eh, sorta? My parents are in the Army… Kinda, anyway. So I had to go through the government. The waitlist was a couple months but once I actually got in for the appointment they gave me the pills that day.”

“Hm, interesting. I didn’t know that about you,” I said as we walked into the kitchen, a small alcove in the apartment, wooden floors and a round wooden table punctuating the end of the cramped space where the stove and the refrigerator were all bunched together. The fridge was a mass of family photos, or at least it used to be- Mom had taken down the ones with the old me in them after Friday night, and then attached a picture of me en femme with a clip-magnet. ‘The first of many’ as she’d put it. Right now it was just Mom and Dad’s wedding photos and a few baby pictures of me group around the thus-far only physical snapshot of Kate, but given how many selfies I’d taken in the past week, that was sure to change rapidly. “Are you an Army brat then?”

“Like I said, kinda,” Faith answered. “They’re in the Engineering Corps- my dad is enlisted but my mom is technically a civilian contractor- so we moved around a lot when I was growing up. But when I was in high school they both got steady positions teaching at Westpoint, so I wound up mostly just living there. I didn’t come to LA until college- my parents seemed kinda upset I didn’t wanna go to Westpoint, but they were still glad I wanted to be an engineer.”

“I see, I see,” I said, reaching into the fridge and pulling out a pitcher of ice water and putting it on the table. I retrieved two cylindrical glasses from the cupboard and set them down too, then poured us each a tall glass of water. “Clink,” I said, tapping my glass against hers. 

She chuckled, then clinked me back and took a long sip. “So you and your folks live and work here? Like in Bob’s Burgers?”

“Lol, I guess,” I said, tucking an errant strand of hair behind my ears. “My folks started this shop together using the money they got from their wedding. I came around a year later, so this is just all I’ve ever known.”

“Huh, interesting. There’s a lot we don’t know about each other, huh?”

I shrugged, then sipped my water. 

“Anyway,” Faith said, “You ready?”

I smiled, then nodded eagerly. 

Faith said, “Okay, so the key is to talk using the top of your throat. Start by saying something, draw out the syllables, and concentrate on making it so you’re speaking from your mouth instead of your chest. Don’t try to just pitch up, but focus on where the intonation is coming from. Try to hold it in your mouth and then release the words. If it helps, try speaking as you breathe out. Start slow, get the basics down, then work on speaking at a rate that’s more natural to you.”

I nodded, then drew in a deep breath and hummed a low note. I let it work its way up into my throat, and tried to make it come from my mouth instead of my chest. 

“Good,” Faith said, sitting down in her chair. “Now try saying ‘who are you?’ Remember to go slowly.”

“Whoooo… Are… Youuuu?” I said, the words coming out breathy and a bit higher than they had before. I smiled, my eyes going wide as I shimmied in my seat. 

Faith chuckled again. “Not bad. So. Who are you?”

“I’m… Katherine… Miranda… Calloway,” I said, liking the way it sounded. “Kate for short.” My words dipped lower again at the last sentence, and I realized I said it too quickly after inhaling, not letting it flow out with my breath like last time. My face scrunched up, and my hands bunched together.

“Hey, it’s okay,” Faith said, putting a hand on my elbow, her palm soft and her fingers delicate and beautifully manicured. “Just keep going, it’s okay.”

I nodded, feeling warmer at her touch, uncurling my fingers and opening my eyes. “Kate for shooorrttt,” I said, drawing out the final word so I could appreciate how it sounded. 

“Not Katie?” Faith asked.

“I… Like… Being called Katie… By people who I love, and who love me. Like my… Parents,” I said, slowly and carefully speaking as I exhaled and then giving myself time to draw in a new breath. 

“I’ve noticed Zeke call you that too,” Faith said, withdrawing her hand from my arm and breaking off eye contact. “Does that mean you love him?”

I felt myself blush as a mental image of Zeke bridal-carrying me while I wore a white gown echoed through my mind. A dreamy sigh escaped my lips, and I smiled, but I shook my head. Best not to get ahead of myself. “I… Wouldn’t… Go that far.”

“But you do like him, right?” Faith asked. 

“I… I do,” I said, my voice going extra high as I said it, the proverbial butterflies in my stomach flapping their wings once again.  

“I’m guessing that was what you two were talking about the other night,” Faith said, looking at the floor. “Good for you guys, though. Seriously.”

“What do… You mean?”

“... You’re dating now, right?”

“No, no, nothing like that,” I said hurriedly, waving my hands about, my voice dropping lower again. Faith looked at me again, and gestured for me to keep going. I drew in a deep breath, let it sit in my chest a moment, and focused on keeping my words at the top of my throat. “I… We just cuddled in the back of my truck. I told him I’m starting to crush on him. That’s it.”

“And what did he say?” Faith said, leaning forward expectantly. 

“He said… He’s starting to catch feelings too,” I replied. “That’s it. Nothing else has… Has come of it yet. We’re still talking a lot and texting a lot, but yeah.”

“That’s it?” Faith said. “Hold up, hold up, hold up- a handsome, intelligent, charming, thoughtful, gentlemanly guy who likes basically all the same nerdy shit as you told you that he’s crushing on you, and you haven’t locked it down yet?”

I squinted. That was a lot of adjectives she’d used just now. A questionable amount of adjectives for someone to use when describing a platonic friend. “I mean… I wanted to kiss him, but he said it wouldn’t be appropriate because I’d just been having a panic attack.”

“God, that’s just like him,” Faith said, rolling her eyes. “He’s just so freaking… Upstanding and polite about everything.”

“He really is,” I said, smiling. “He’s always thinking about what will make me comfortable and happy- it’s like he never spares a thought for himself.”

“Accommodating to a fault, that’s definitely him,” she said. 

“Has he always been like that?”

“Always,” Faith nodded. “He’s always been a gentleman.”

“Has he always been a foxy nerd?”

“Oh, absolutely. Though, uh, that’s definitely been amplified of late. He’s  started working out more in the past year- he’s got these sweet abs now, and a really cute butt-”

“Oh, I’ve noticed his butt. And his smile. And the-”

“The gun show?” Faith giggled. “He’s got those big, broad, hunky shoulders now. Makes for a great viewing experience, lemme tell you.”

I tilted my head to the side. I’d already figured out that Zeke was into Faith- it was honestly part of my reluctance to treat what he and I had as anything serious- I didn’t wanna feel like a replacement for the girl he couldn’t have. But that had been me assuming that Faith was a lesbian. If she wasn’t… Then why the hell weren’t they together? What was stopping it? Me? 

On the other hand, if I was what was stopping it, did that mean that Zeke didn’t see me as the second-choice? That he actually liked me… For me?

I had to know. What did Zeke actually look for in a partner? And if it was just ‘Faith, or someone like Faith’, and she liked him back, then why was he even bothering with me? And hell, if she liked him back, why was she tolerating any of this in the first place?

“Hey, uh,” I started, “Historically, what kinda girls has Zeke gone for?”

“Oh, uh, back during college it was just any girl who gave him the time of day,” Faith said. “Led to him getting stood up a lot, honestly. And getting into some toxic relationships. He’s into all types of girls- tomboys, girly girls, tall girls, short girls, whatever you can imagine. Nothing ever worked out, though… It was kinda hard to watch, you know? This sweet, intelligent, talented, witty guy-”

“With a hot body,” I said. 

“With a very hot body,” Faith purred in agreement. Then she paused, her eyes bulging wider than dinner plates. “Uh… Objectively speaking, as a friend of his. I can say that.”

“Uh-huh,” I said, letting my voice go flat and masculine again for maximum effect. This certainly… Complicated things. “Sure, sure, sure.”

“I… Um…”

I stared at her while taking a long sip of my water. 

“It’s not what you think,” Faith said. 

“I didn’t say anything,” I said with a wry grin and half-opened eyes. 

Faith drew in a deep breath through her nose. “So anyway, back to your lessons-”

I grabbed her hand. I heard her gulp. “You like him.”

Faith opened her mouth. All that came out was a high-pitched squeak. 

“Ohhh, wowwww,” I said, turning it into a vocal exercise. “You REALLY like him.”

“I-I-I-”

“I mean… It makes sense. He’s hot, nerdy, polite, funny-”

“He’s a great engineer, too,” Faith finally added. 

“Indeed,” I said. “Does he know?”

“No,” Faith answered, drinking a large gulp of water. 

“I see,” I said. A sinking feeling went through me. “Well, I should probably back off then.”

“What? Why?”

“Because you two clearly like each other, and I’m just a janie-come-lately,” I said, offering a sad smile. 

“No, no, he… I mean-”

“I’ve seen how he looks at you,” I said. “I’m just the silver medal in this competition.” Same as always. 

“And I’ve seen the way he looks at you,” Faith said. “Trust me, you’re nobody’s second prize. He’s into you. He’s a romantic type- he’s probably gotten really swept up in the whole thing, just like you have. And I… Waited too long. I had a million opportunities to tell him how I felt, and I just didn’t capitalize on any of them because my stupid pride wanted to be on the receiving end of the courtship.”

“What are you saying?” I asked, putting my hands on her shoulders.

She gulped, then blushed. It made her look even cuter, which I didn’t think was possible. “You’re… So close right now.”

“Oh, sorry,” I said, pulling back. 

“It’s, uh, it’s fine,” she said, tossing her hair back. 

“So… Where does this leave us?”

“I think it’s pretty obvious,” Faith said. “I’m gonna back off. Zeke and I shouldn’t be compromising our professional relationship with romantic feelings anyway. And besides, you went for it, and he likes you back. I won’t get in the way.”

My head was spinning. This was almost too perfect- she was literally giving me everything I wanted out of a conversation I hadn’t even been planning to have. But at the same time… Faith’s slumped shoulders and downtrodden glance and practiced air of contentment told a story, and it was hard not to feel sad about that. “But that’s not fair to you,” I said. 

She sighed again. “Kate… We’re already rivals at the tournament. Do you really wanna be romantic rivals, too? Because that feels like it could get ugly real fast.”

“I…,” I trailed off. What did I want? Well, I wanted to date Zeke, or at least go on a date with him and see where it led us. But I also didn’t want to do anything to hurt Faith; she’d been through enough already, and I’d been responsible for some of that. She was accustomed to me being a jerk, and what could be a bigger jerk move then stealing the boy she liked? “I mean, I’d be dating the competition if Zeke and I went out.”

“Yeah. So?” Faith asked. “We aren’t Olympic athletes or anything- the stakes aren’t actually that high. If anything, there’s a greater risk of us getting toxic again if we’re competing over Zeke while competing in the tournament, and I… I like not hating you.”

A swell of emotion, equal parts happy and sad, pulsed through me. “I like not hating you too.”

She smiled again. “Good. So like I said- I’m gonna let whatever happens with you and Zeke happen without my interfering with it. It’s gonna hurt to watch, I’ll be totally honest with you, but… I want to be the bigger woman here. Genuinely, I do. And I want him to be happy. If you make him happy, then that’s… That’s good enough for me.”

I didn’t entirely believe her, but… I found myself nodding along. She was amazing, willing to just… Accept a situation like this while still wanting to be around me, still wanting to help me. Warm affection flowed through me with each beat of my fragile heart as I looked deep into her kind brown eyes. “Thank you. Seriously, thank you. That’s very mature of you, and I really appreciate it a lot.”

 “Of course,” Faith said. “Anything for a friend.”

“Friends?” I said, leaning forward and smiling with my teeth.

“Friends,” she smiled back. 

“Friends!” I said, fist-pumping. Then I leaned forward and wrapped my arms around her, shimmying more as I hugged her. 

She gave a tired laugh as she hugged me back. 

“Hey there, girls,” my dad said as he wandered up the stairs and pulled half a pastrami sandwich on a plate out of the fridge. “Whatcha up to?”

“Oh, you know, girl talk,” I said happily. “Boys, robots, that kinda thing.”

“Glad to hear it,” Dad said. “Katie, your mom and I are going out tonight with some friends of ours from college, so I trust you can take care of your own dinner?”

“Not a problem!” I said. 

“If you wanna have Zeke over, that’s fine, just no drinking any of my beer- this house believes in bringing your own booze.”

I laughed. “Sure thing, Dad.”

“Good. Glad we could have this talk. You look lovely, by the way,” he said, giving me an affectionate pat on the head. 

“Hmmm,” I intoned jovially. 

Dad stepped out with his sandwich in hand. 

That was when my phone went off, the gleeful twang of Kacey Musgraves emanating from the speakers. “Speak of the devil,” I said as I saw Zeke’s name on the caller ID. I answered the phone and said, “Hey, you.”

“Hey, Katie,” he said. I loved it when he called me that. “You busy tonight?”

“No, no plans at the moment,” I said. Faith watched with fascination, and mouthed, ‘go for it.’ “Why? Are you asking me on a date, Mr. Underhill?”

“That is, in fact, exactly what I’m doing, Ms. Calloway,” he said. 

The butterflies flapping their wings in my stomach conjured a tornado. “Oh?”

“Dinner sound good?”

“Yeah, yeah that sounds amazing,” I said, hoping my smile conveyed through the phone, working extra hard to talk in a feminine register. 

Faith gave me the thumbs-up. 

“7 PM good?” he asked. 

“Perfect.”

“Awesome! Would you mind picking me up? Faith has the car today and she never remembers to fill the tank back up on her way home.”

“Heh, yeah, I can do that. I’ll see you at seven.”

“Looking forward to it. See you then, pretty lady.”

I hung up, and I giggled and bounced up and down in my chair. “Eeeeeee!!!!”

Faith stood up and sighed wistfully. “Good for you, Katie.”

“Hey, watch it with the ‘Katie’ or I’ll think you’re in love with me as well,” I poked her cheek.  

“Pfft, don’t flatter yourself, you’ll get a swell head,” she said, pushing my finger away. “Come on, let’s pick an outfit for your date.”

 “Faith… You don’t have to do that. I appreciate you being chill about all this, but-”

“I want to,” Faith said. “Like I said, I want him to be happy, and that means you need to look as hot as humanly possible for tonight. And besides, I’d prefer you stay like this then go back to being all grumpy and hammy- you’re much cuter this way.”

She extended me a hand up, and I took it, rising and looking this wonderful, mature, helpful, pretty girl in her big brown eyes as she led me into my room to help me coordinate an outfit from the handful of dresses my mom had gifted me, wondering if she noticed I was blushing because of her initiating the physical contact for the first time in our brief friendship. 

All of this was a lot, everything that had happened today was a lot, and it still wasn’t over, but… I was okay with that. I could navigate the rest of the day happily knowing I had people in my corner. 

[tirfpikachu]

another vent abt my ex lol

even tho we're so incompatible in so many ways, and deep down i know i'd probably be happier w someone who identifies as a woman anyway, and even tho it's 100% fair of them to have that preference and not be into cis women... it still hurts that just bc i didn't end up living as male and i started embracing being female means my nonbinary ex stopped being into me. going as far as saying they were never actually into me and they just tried to makeout w me while drunk bc i identified as transmasc at the time and they thought i'd cut off my tits and go on hrt so we could pass as gay boys. saying they were never even that into me, or into me at all, they just knew i had a crush on them and made moves on me to please me... even though i wasn't making any moves on them i had just made lewd gay jokes a few times bc i like raunchy humor, and yeah i thought they were cute, but not much else!!! i was doing things w other people and moving on, i don't get hung up on crushes i have on friends. but whatever. what fucking ever. i know it's on me that we started dating bc they kept trying to drunk makeout in our first month living together as roommates and i sat them tf down and told them to either stop doing that or date me, and they agreed to date me. but i still feel like i was pulled onto a fucked up rollercoaster. it was my FIRST RELATIONSHIP!!!!! my first everything. it somehow hurts worse that they're dating a trans guy now. it's almost triggering my old dysphoria bc i'm such a people pleaser and i keep blaming myself for not transitioning bc maybe if i transitioned they would've stayed w me, and maybe my life would be better if i was a trans femboy or whatever, maybe i'd feel more interesting, maybe i'd be cooler, maybe gender stuff would be my hobby again and i'd be ~authentic~ and not a boring run-of-the-mill cis dyke, which is wayyy less ~qweer~

idk. it just brings back old complicated feelings. it's like watching another version of me date the enby i thought i'd live with forever. i know all their flaws tho lol so good luck with that, new boytoy. though maybe they will do better this time, maybe i was the problem all along. it's so bittersweet. like i'm happy for them, i still love them as a close friend, but i'm def also bitter bc i wasted so many years on trying to salvage smtg that was doomed from the start. i wish i hadn't wavered when they laughed that they're not into women, i wish i didn't lean into nonbinary/trans stuff again mostly just to bond with them over it and bc i thought it was cooler than "just" being gay. i wish i told them i was a woman and stuck w it. i wonder if they would've still tried to drunk makeout, idk. they can't stand the thought of dating a woman or passing as a lesbian lmao. i wish i had stayed strong and said nah i'm just a lesbian butch girl. at the time i had been questioning just being a dyke too... which only makes this sadder ugh. i could've just had a cool platonic bestie as a roommate and dated so many cute girls and maybe found the love of my life by now!!! now i just wasted 5 years, half a decade spent trying to salvage what we had, avoiding what i was. alternating between nonbinary stuff and being a hyperfem cis girl bc i was terrified of admitting i was just a masc lesbian woman. i could feel them pulling away for years. they were distant from day 1 honestly and were always emotionally constipated and a doormat, they stuck w it even tho they said they wanted to breakup for years but thought i would fall apart during a breakup and wouldn't survive without them bc i'm broke and disabled... ugh. this whole thing has just been such a heartache y'all. i have SUUUCH bad trust issues now. like i Do Not Trust that people are genuinely attracted to me and will stay attracted to me now, more so than before, and i already had body image issues before & cptsd. this sucks but i don't trust that the masc women i go on dates with won't end up wanting to transition and be gay boys in the end. i don't trust that the girls i'm seeing wouldn't be better off dating someone passing as male. and i feel like a fucking dumbass all the time for having dated them that long, pathetically trying to regain their attention, getting more submissive and insecure over the years, denying myself my natural love for women, feeling dead inside knowing we passed as straight, but too scared to transition as male. like wow. i was a fucking idiot. how did i stick w it for so long??? i've wasted soooo much time, so much of my youth... #cringe

[thatlowiqbabe]

Hi! I was wondering if you could write something for HoO boys being your boy friend? Also, do you think it’s possible for you to do a trans (ftm) hispanic demiboy? Thanks!

Oh yeah sure! As a Demi-Boy it's my duty!

This is over 900 words so there's gonna be a part two (sorry bout that)

HOO Boys with A Hispanic!Demi-Boy! S/O

Frank Zhang

"Wait your a demi-boy? Like cause you're a demi-god orr"

"Oh okay, totally unrelated gotcha."

You probably came out to Frank after the Son of neptune, scared you'd never get the chance to tell him.

He asked some silly questions but obviously accepted you! He would do more research via internet but demi-gods and phones don't mix

(What do you mean he's been asking other trans demi-gods how to better understand, you obviously got the wrong chinese-canadian shape-shifting son of mars)

Anyway he loves you, and tries to switch pronouns often ❤️ (if you use multiple)

If you're ever feeling dysphoric, he'll turn into an cuddly animal of your choice to make you feel better.

Will turn into a bear and (threaten to)  eat a transphobe

(They probably taste funny lol)

(If you're bilingual) You, him and Jason sit in a circle and speak in spanish, canadian french, and latin, knowing damn well y'all don't understand each other.

Y'all be looking like this

Don't even try having Thanksgiving with him

"Happy Thanksgiving!"

".... I'm canadian."

"Oh, uhhh happy thursday then??"

Like sir, do you want some turkey or not?

Jason Grace

"So wait, if you're a demi-god and a demi-boy do they like cancel each other out?"

"I- baby no—"

"Can I call you God-Boy?"

Y'all give him a minute, boy brain ain't right after getting knocked out so many times 🤣

Being called God-Boy does make you feel powerful ngl

You probably "dated" during hoo, and after you started dating for real came out to him.

Uses both pronouns, like every other paragraph. (If you use multiple)

If you're a greek demi-god, he loves to take you over to Camp Jupiter, and take you on tours around the parthenon and go on dates

If you're roman, he takes you out to Camp half-blood and maybe even tour manhattan!

(Gotta be a group date though, he's been at Camp Jupiter since he was 3 and only left on quests, he don't know where he going)

(If your bilingual) He'll teach you latin if you teach him spanish! It's always cool to know another language, especially if you're partner speaks it.

If you're dysphoric, y'all take naps together.

You don't have to stress, whatever's outside can wait a while, right now it's just you and him ❤️

You're his little God-Boy, he loves you

What do you mean he specifically asked to do whatever chores you had that day? Uh-huh couldn't be him 🛑🖐️ stop playing

Don't let him meet your mortal parent

Boy be so nervous he don't know what to do

"Jason, dear could you pass me the (fav. Food) "

"Yes  (Mr./Mrs/Mx.) L/n, I will have a ham sandwich "

"..."

"..."

"..."

He left with a ham sandwich and a red face

He got invited back over, so it wasn't too bad tho lol

Leo Valdez

He already knew you were a demi-boy!

You probably came out to Leo before y'all started dating, and maybe before y'all knew you were demi-gods, he just has that "yes I'd beat a bitch's ass and lose, and what about it?" Energy y'know??

Obviously you could trust him.

Will try to to use both pronouns, but might stick with one for a while before switching it up and then sticking to one again

Y'all probably talk shit about people together honestly.

Let's be honest, if you were bilingual, with a boyfriend who was also bilingual, and y'all didn't like this one person you'd talk shit right in front of them.

If you're really petty you'd make it obvious too.

If you're ever feeling some dysphoria, don't worry cause Leo got dis-for-ya!

Iamsosorry

But seriously he'll build you tiny trinkets and stuff to help you feel better

Greatifyoureahoarderlikemelol

If you want, you could help him with building, or even build something yourself!

(You: somehow builds a bomb or something equally dangerous

Leo:

)

Y'all like to make smores, and probably sing the campfire song from spongebob while doing it

(Whether it's on Leo or an actual campfire depends on y'all mood)

"OUR C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E  S-O-N-G SONG"

"Hey, you did it without stuttering this time!"

Nico di Angelo

"So you trans your gender??"

"Uh no, I'm transgender, it doesn't work like that—"

"How do you trans your gender?? Is it a like a process to get your gender trans or does it happen all at once?"

This boy a whole boomer, lord have mercy 😭🖐️

Growing up in early 1900's he doesn't really understand, but he'll try.

If he feels like he's bothering you with too many with questions, he'll go bother Annabeth instead.

Uses both pronouns, despite not knowing how you can have more than one. (If you use multiple)

Will do his best to get rid of any internalized transphobia he might have. Even if he grew up around Bianca, it was a hateful time back then and he might have biases.

You're dysphoric, but how??

He understands how dysphoria works, as much as it pains him to know that you're hurting, he didn't understand how it could effect someone like you.

You were much braver than he was, not being outed and actually coming out on your own. You were the man you said you were and more.

Sometimes y'all just lay down outside under a tree and he'll sing to you.

(Y'all know I'm talking about Soldatino don't even play)

Those days can go from bad to okay to great, depending on what y'all do afterward.

Sometimes y'all go out to eat at McDonald's via shadow travel, and I hope you got cash cause the seven gonna want some too lol (this includes Rachel and Will btw)

"So you're ordering (big af order) to go, for just the two of you?"

"We're eating for nine."

"No baby we're eating for eleven remember?"

Cashier, who's just trying to earn they minimum wage:

I don't know how to end this lol

Um part 2 will be out soon, maybe like a day from now if I don't forget lol

Thank you for requesting! I hope it was up to your standards, if not then I hope you enjoyed it anyway, cause I enjoyed writing it!

If you're interested in my writing pls request, I only have one other to do so it might be done soon!

Also, I hope Leo's bilingual hc isn't offensive in anyway. I'm just realizing how rude that may sound. If it is I'll write a new one. I'm not bilingual but if I was that's what I'd do. Again, I hope I didn't come off as ignorant on that hc.

[im-like-if-a-girl]

*THE* mean-girl-dean-girl's Supernatural reboot MEGAPOST!

I'm gonna stick a little "keeping reading" here because hoooooo boy, this is a very long post.

Let's start with

Plot

Season 1

Dean kills John while they are out on a hunt in a crime of passion, but Dean doesn't remember because he blacked out. Cue Dean going to Stanford to get Sam and tell him "Dad's on a hunting trip... and he hasn't been home in a couple days."

The audience doesn't know what happened to John, but slowly figures it out with Dean and Sam as Dean slowly remembers what happened that night.

The entire first season, the boys are following the trail John left and fighting monsters as well. They find out Dean was with John, Sam realizes Dean has an unreliable memory, they have heart to hearts about their childhood and the fire, they find John's body, "how could you kill Dad?" but maybe Dean didn't kill dad, whooaaaaaa, misdirection.

It was actually good ole yeller eyes (Azazel) and he made it look like Dean killed John.

Okay, now let's move on to the first episode

Not sure how the opening would work, I would like the story of the fire to be revealed over the course of the first season, but maybe the opening scene could be a little bit of an establishing character relationships and backstory, idk, I haven't thought that far yet.

I'm thinking maybe it's like, Dean gets back to a motel room covered in blood and he listens to a voicemail on his phone from John saying he was on a hunt or something, I don't really know lol.

HOWEVER

I do know that after the intro rolls, we get a scene of Sam waking up to his alarm and "Nine to Five" by Dolly Parton starts playing.

Y'all know where this is going.

Cue a montage of Sam's normal Stanford college life (him sitting through lectures, walking through the campus with friends) spliced with scenes of Dean absolutely slaughtering a nest of vampires (or some other monsters, whatever works best.)

But

Now onto

Characters!!! (And descriptions)

Dean Winchester

Some lovely person on this site made edits of Dean with platinum blond hair and it made me feel some kind of way so we're doing that, homie's gonna have platinum blond hair

Side note about the hair, later when the brothers are running from the FBI he dyes it a dirty blond/light brown (insert jackles hair color controversy here) as a disguise.

He also gets tattoos because we were robbed.

Speaking of tattoos, concept: when Dean comes back from Hell, all of his tattoos are gone. His body is a clean slate, devoid of tattoos, scars, etc. So he gets his tattoos done all over again, which he doesn't mind because he made some bad, drunk tattoo decisions in his youth.

(And before you ask, yes, he does get one for Cas, either a bee or Cas's name in enochian, something cute.)

Dean goes to therapy after Sam gets sent to the Cage.

It's actually court mandated because he got in trouble, lol, he would never go to therapy on his own.

Along with the hair, Dean gets to be the grade A twunk we all know he is.

Sam Winchester

His hair gets longer in every scene he's in

No jk, but imagine

King of Microaggressions

Sam starts off like the sweetheart he is in season 1 but in later seasons he starts enjoying killing a little too much...

It's that demon blood, ba-by!!!

He brings up issues of morality to Dean, i.e. killing monsters who aren't hurting anyone. (Yes I know this is contradictory to my previous statement, but these two facets of Sam can and will coexist.)

Sam and Jess's relationship is explored further, meaning we'll need to start with a different inciting incident, but that's fine, I think everyone can agree fridgings are *(thumbs down)*

Sam doesn't truly know what happened the night of the fire until later, and then he understands why Dean is so protective of him.

Jess

She gets to live beyond the first episode

She is also trans

No, I don't feel like I have to explain myself and I won't 💜

She urges Sam to join Dean in a search for their brother, kind of gets pulled into the hunter lifestyle by association lol.

She dies on a rusty nail after fighting vampires on a routine hunt with Sam

No jk!!!

But imagine....

She's amazing and I love her and Lucifer also uses her as leverage against Sam and possesses her because I think that'd be cool.

She supports Sam 100% and also she and Dean are buddies, pals if you will.

She meets Cas Thee El and immediately she Knows, that is a homosexual.

She dies still so that we can have a Saileen Endgame but she's not dying the first episode or in a fridging. Not on my watch.

Castiel

He gets to keep his raw, light-fixture-exploding power.

I want more of that "I pulled you out of hell, I can throw you back in" energy except over dumb shit like Dean not cleaning up after himself.

He looks like a Dilf in every scene he's in, yeah, that's right, dilf with a capital D for *(GUNSHOTS)* *(gets sent to horny jail)*

Claire

She gets pink hair

And more time with Cas

And maybe a nose piercing

Feel like she should be able to kill a couple angels onscreen, punch a couple homophobes

She gets to meet Jack and teaches him swears and fun slang words.

She deserves it.

Jack

I says "that's my baby and I'm proud."

Jack starts off as a baby, but like Amara he grows up super quickly.

Like, baby to 11 year old in a couple days or less.

This is because Jack's emotional age on the show is on par with that of a 5th grader.

It's at this point when he's a young kid that he runs away from the Bunker and shenanigans ensue.

It's also at this point that Dean threatens to k*ll him.

(Still not sure if I want that in my Supernatural (threatened infanticide? In my Supernatural? It's more likely than you think) but we'll see. We'll see.)

Throughout a majority of season 13, Jack is like an 11 y.o. kid

Season 14 he's like a 16 y.o. teenager

Season 15 he's 21, you get the picture.

Listen, I love Alex Calvert a lot. He's great.

But Jack is a child and should be a child.

Kelly Kline

Kelly, baby, stay right where you are, you're perfect.

Eileen

SHE DOESN'T DIE

SHE GETS TO BE IN THE FINALE BECAUSE SHE'S AMAZING AND I LOVE HER.

BLURRY WIFE WHO? I ONLY KNOW SAILEEN ENDGAME!

She teaches Claire and Jack swears in sign-language. Castiel is not impressed.

John

J*hn W*nchester stans, DNI.

He's dead.

We only see him in flashbacks and only sometimes hear his voice in voice overs.

He's not "down the road" from Dean in Heaven, in fact he instead gets to wander around in some Purgatory like Hell for the rest of his time :)

People who get to say "fuck" on the show:

Cas (but only Once)

Jody

Bobby

Now onto other things

I want more of

Ghostfacers

(they need more screentime because I love them)

Dean/Benny

We know they had a thing.

They definitely had a thing.

Demon Dean

Again, I feel like more should've been done with this. All that build up for what, 2 episodes? was not utilized well at all.

Dean's Bisexuality

Straight Dean truthers DNI, my Supernatural is a show about love and being true to yourself

You think Supernatural is a show about 2 straight brothers fighting monsters?

Naw bitch, this is a show about the Gay Experience

He will get to have relations with men on this show.

Of course, only after John dies does he, y'know, display it. Maybe he kisses Cas on his dad's grave just to fuck John over, make him roll in grave.

We all agree John would be/is a homophobe piece of shit, right?

Okay, glad we're on the same page.

Dads

3 men and a baby with Jack is what I'm saying.

I love it when the Trio are father-figures to younger troubled characters they see themselves in, even better if it's like reluctant-but-loving father figure, oh, that trope gets me every time :'^)

Dadstiel and DadDean are my favorites, but I like it when Sam plays "Uncle Sam" to kids too lol.

"Fellas, is it gay to want a tight knit family with your husband, his son, his vessel's daughter, your brother, his wife, your cop mother figure and her wife and their adopted daughters? Asking for a friend."

Garth

Biggest flaw of Supernatural was underutilizing Garth.

I will never not be bitter that Garth was only in like, 7 episodes out of the whole 15 season series.

Every episode with Garth gets immediately 5 times better.

I love Garth.

Follow ups on characters who had entire episodes featured around them and then just... vanished???

This is mostly about Jesse, the magic kid whose imagination ruled an entire town like, his daddy was a demon and nothing came of that kid??? Only one episode about him?? No follow up???

KID CAN MANIPULATE REALITY AND WE'RE NOT GONNA GET A FOLLOW UP ON THAT?????

Uh, there was that one episode with Ennis the guy whose girlfriend was killed by a monster? I think?? Who we never see again, that was weird.

Tamara from season 3, episode 1.

And of course-

Cassie

She was so cool, and then we never saw her again :////

She gets to be a badass.

Religious imagery

As a former Catholic school student who has become for the most part, disillusioned with religion, religious imagery in TV shows like Supernatural make my brain go "brrrrrr."

Fun episodes!!!

Like, after season 6 or so, there's a drop in funny episodes

I'm talking Changing Channels, The French Mistake type stuff. (Scoobynatural is an outlier and should not be counted.)

So anyway

In my version we would have more fun episodes

I'm thinking

GENDER-SWAP EPISODE, BABY!!

(why they didn't do that in the original, we'll never know.)

An episode where Dean gets to wear eyeliner

That's it, end of post.

I want less

Racism

Yeah I feel like this is self explanatory, nearly every reoccurring character in SPN is white, and black side characters normally die in the episode they first appear in, or they'll be featured as a villain (Uriel, Raphael, Billie, etc)

Also there's a lot of... uh... asian fetishism featured in the show (what with "Busty Asian Beauties) that's really gross, also Kevin was a bit of a stereotype...

Also also it's super yucky how they kill the gods from other religions like???? Uh??? That's super disrespectful, let's not do that????

I know Supernatural is like, inherently racist because monsters are a separate race that are seen as some dangerous "other" that must be eradicated by hunters in a form of genocide-

Okay we won't get into that but

Still

Stop killing all your POC

Fridgings/Unecessary murders of female characters

I know Supernatural starts with a fridging, so this will be a hard thing to remedy, but

One death that really pissed me off was the death of Charlie

Yeah, that was pointless and we're not doing that. Charlie gets to live and be an awesome aunt to Jack.

And also Claire

Charlie Bradbury Superiority

Charlie and Garth get to meet because they're nerd/geek solidarity.

British Men of Letters

I fucking hate these guys

They're "litcherally" the worst.

The worst part is that the actors they have playing the British AREN'T. EVEN. BRITISH.

And you can tell

Uh, and that's all for now, I'll add more later.

tag list for people who liked my "if this post gets one like I'll post my SPN reboot masterpost" post.

@darianyunidi @sarasidlesaid @crazybananaalpaca @playfulpanthress @ultfreakme @fififeelsmellow @heller-char @luna8eaton @princessmeganfire @insanebot109 @queenofnightsnow @mongoose-underthehouse

Thank you for the support, hope the wait was worth it.

[yggdrasil-mith0s]

I need some serious psychological help: Confessions from the blog owner.

Okay, so feel free to ignore this but I feel like I need to get some things off my chest and seriously talk about some things. This blog has been my lifeline over the past few years with my followers becoming my only friends. My best friends. People that genuinely care about me and listen to me. So I feel the need to say some things, let you all know where I am currently at in life, and possibly receive some advice if anyone reads this.

First, let me say I think I have gone through life with undiagnosed AD(H)D. Everytime I am genuinely interested in something career related or getting back into school, I start to get things together. Before I know it, I lose all interest and completely leave it behind, never to follow through. I have a bad problem with this in almost everything I do. It's also why I have 10 different save files in different games and none of which ever get beaten except maybe 1 or 2. I haven't made any significant strides or moved forward in life at all.

Another thing I have come to realize is I hate who I am. No, I don't mean my morals or how I am genuinely empathetic. I mean I have believed I was a straight cisgender male for 3/4s of my life. Being in quarantine has helped me figure out a few things. Mainly that I am Nonbinary and I am Pansexual. I am sure of that now. It's lead to quite the mental breakdown and uncovering bottled emotions and traumas. Others had me convinced I was cisgender male by hateful words, cunning deciet, and manipulating tactics and twisting my mindset into thinking I was wrong for considering anything other than cisgender male. @prideknights had a beautiful submission that basically opened my eyes to how hateful words have caused me to hate myself, for I was forcing an identity that didn't belong to me to satisfy those that wanted to give identities or take them to fit their agenda/beliefs. I fell for it. And it's no wonder I have been dealing with depression, dysphoria (though I didn't understand what it was till someone recently told me "yeah, that's gender dysphoria notbro (They say notbro instead of bro because they are nonbinary and use notbro as a NB way of saying bro lol). So I have dropped he/him pronounces and go by they/them. Still, I am unpacking a lot of trauma and beliefs that aren't my own mixed with those that are mine. I haven't gone completely public with my revelation because of fear and anxiety. I'm not ready to announce it on FB and have family I hardly talk to and other people know. I'm not ready for that in case I receive hate in any way because that's what caused me to suppress myself to begin with.

It's hard to love yourself while hiding the real you deep inside because of what others have said and done. What society does is create a world where people live in their own bubbles and anyone who enters that bubble is expected to follow their rules and beliefs. Eventually, entering enough of other people's bubbles, mostly toxic ones, will shrink yours to the point where nothing belongs to you, not even your gender or lack there of.

My sister's boyfriend recently moved in. He is great to my sister but incredibly abusive to me. I have left hints but my sister hasn't noticed. He is mentally abusive and recently he shoved me really hard. I can't outright tell my sister because she loves him and I'm kind of scared of what he might do if she breaks up with him because of me tbh. So I am trying to move out but have no money or anything to do so. I have found somewhere I can stay but I need a $250 down payment. I have $70. So I still need $180. The abuse is getting worse and worse and I think he knows I am NB now and I believe he is secretly a bigot. Again, I can't say anything and I am scared for both my sister and I. Though he does treat her really great. I think he just might have issues with me. I'm not sure why, though. Maybe he just hates LGBTQ+ people and knows. My sister knows I am Pansexual and I have brought a trans guy I had a crush on over... So yeah. I need to get out while she is dating him.

If anyone wants to help with my downpayment of $180 then you can donate to PayPal.me/yggdrasilmithos

My email for that PP is cc12991@yahoo.com.

That isn't necessary, though. I am also in search of a true therapist because I seem to have a lot of issues and things bottled up that I haven't unpacked. I want to know what's wrong with me and why I always lose interest, why I constantly find myself in traumatic experiences even though I try to avoid it. I want to find out what trauma I continue to hide while it still hurts me.

It might help my depression and anxiety to see a good therapist and truly talk to someone and open up completely without holding a single thing back.

Im trying y'all. I truly am. Please hang in there. Soon I will regain my full interest and post a bunch of content again. One thing that has held my interest is this blog, the people involved on this blog that are friends now, and the Tales of series. Though it fluctuates in how often or how much interests I'm currently holding.

Anyways, if anyone has any questions, feel free to ask. Feel free to message me as well. I could use some friends, tbh. I don't have anyone in real life to talk to which is why I confide in this blog.

Also, if anyone donates and would like a post dedicated to you, gifs of some videos or gameplay made then just message me and let me know. I will make content for anyone that wants me to and donates, even if it is a dollar! I will make everyone gifs if their choosing or random Tales content gifs. My Paypal and email is 5 paragraphs up lol.

But it's 100% okay if not. I posted this just to let y'all know where I'm at in life right now.

Edit: I'm hanging on by a thread and had a good cry moments ago which is why I felt the need to post this and share with you all (my friends).

[solarcitymelodies]

Wowza sorry y'all about the random massive Rockafire spam, I'm pretty sure ??most?? People on here? know me for just Knight Rider because that's the only thing I've ever REALLY posted about--

but I Do Not Care it's RAE hours right now so uhhh here's some headcannons that probably aren't Canon compliant very much because I just got into RAE like last week

So like. I feel like Mitzi is a Good Amount younger than the rest of the band like she was in highschool when she joined, the rest of em were all Adults™ and she was a little bit nervous about it because...... ADULTS™

She was just lookin for a place to get her singing voice out there, because ya girl REALLY wanted to perform, and showbiz happened to have a slot open, but she did not expect all of the members to be older than her (although looking back, she realized she probably should have expected that)

It was intimidating at first but Billy Bob and Fatz were just the absolute sweetest and they introduced her properly to the rest of the band because she was like "oh I barely talk to them because I get nervous :(" and the resident dads p much said "aight we can do all the talking for you then, how about that?" And badabing badaboom she's now attached to these two and like honestly who isn't or maybe that's just me but ANYWAYS I feel like the band would become a second home/safe space for her

Yeah fr some reason I have BIG long headcannon for her joining the band but the rest of them? Nobody knows how they got there for all I know they just Showed Up One Day

Also I came across this

https://youtu.be/UU7BeUWQBDI

Which got me thinkin about what my headcannons were as far as sexuality/gender stuff

And I find the concept of Billy Bob being Very Much Straight And Ignorant but trying his hardest to be a good ally SO funny like if someone came out to him he'd probably be like "oh!! I don't understand why you would choose that lifestyle but I respect you!!" not realizing how incredibly stupid he sounds sjkrjh like I don't think he can very easily wrap his head around how people are just. not cishet. so he's like "OH then it must be a choice, right? like you can choose to be gay but you're born straight. Right?" and everyone just shakes their heads in the background but he does earnestly try his best and my man would rather DIE than disrespect someone's pronouns I know this for sure

Fatz is pretty similar, straight ally and a lil confused but he's got the spirit, you know? He still least knows being gay (as well as,,, m o s t sexualities that aren't straight, although some he doesn't get/know about at all) isn't a choice but he hasn't quite grasped that being trans is also not a choice. He will respect your pronouns to hell and back but by god he doesn't get it,,, he's trying though and he feels very accomplished in himself that he's starting to get the hang of using they/them even though he slips up a lot

The rest of the band encourages the HELL out of these two because they're. Trying their best and making an honest effort which is more than a pretty good chunk of people would give

Rolfe, Earl, and Dook are the reasons Billy Bob and Fatz are trying so hard to understand it lmao

Rolfe took it upon himself to hang up a MASSIVE gay pride flag backstage, being the flaming homosexual that he is, and the rest of the squad quickly realized "oh he's GAY gay he wasn't kidding" because at first they literally thought he was joking as he was actually just being openly and obnoxiously a raging mlm (and like I mean no shade to him this isn't me tryna to make fun of it because my dumb sapphic ass almost crashed my car once because I saw a pretty girl walk down the street. And by "once" I mean. Yesterday.) Anyways yeah that's when the rest of em Realized and were like "OH" but after the massive pride flag was hung up that prompted Dook to come out and they were all like "???? YOU TOO????"

Dook is a non-binary ICON he's a demiboy and goes by both he/him and they/them and probably would have a bunch of pride pins I think,,, I'm not really sure of his sexuality though!! honestly he kinda gives me bisexual vibes but Who Knows . Not me. He has a HELL of a time trying to explain his gender to the rest of the band (except for Rolfe because like. He's a part of the community so he knows) and basically he was met with "so you're just a dude but ✨spicy✨?" and it was like, "no, but I have no idea how to explain it in a way that will make sense to you, so. yes?" And that explanation seemed to suffice for most of them

Mitzi went in knowing NOTHING about what being non-binary was so she asked a l o t of questions about it, which Dook just kinda dealt with answering (he's heard most of it before, and it gets tiring after a while. if you're nb or trans or honestly any part of LGBTQ+ you know what I mean) but he thought it was really sweet of her to be so determined to learn about it and eventually she did get a grasp on it ish, so she was able to understand why it wasn't just ✨spicy male✨ (the conversation pretty much went "well if i was just male, don't you think I would label myself that way instead?" "....oH TRUE!!!") and she ended up a VERY passionate ally, and she'll ask occasionally about how to be better at it, bein a queen as she is 👉👉 also definitely started questioning her sexuality after a while and just went with "maybe bicurious" and Rolfe, Dook, and Earl were all like "ONE OF US, ONE OF US"

Earl has never once spoken about his sexuality in his life, because 1. He's very aware that's an awkward conversation to have with a puppet, and 2. He's aroace anyways, which is basically what people assume even if they don't realize it just for their own peace of mind, because seriously, puppets and any identity that ISN'T aroace creates a really uncomfortable mental image for... Most people, pretty much. So it's not like he ever needed to say anything about it, which is convenient for him because he wouldn't want to say anything either way. not worth the risk of embarrassing himself and making everyone feel awkward

(side note ish though Rolfe 100% came out to Earl first and was met with "I already knew that but okay." Rolfe was mildly offended)

And spEAKING OF EARL he's VERY much sentient but he can't say he's particularly enthusiastic about it because Rolfe has to carry him around everywhere

He can move on his own but it's limited and generally annoying to maneuver around with his tiny body so he just says screw it half the time and stays on Rolfe's arm or hitch a ride on Random Object, but like... Yeah, the majority of the time Rolfe just has to deal with only having one arm available and a puppet directly next to him making fun of him at every possible chance

They high-key have chaotic and unorganized college roommate vibes (like they're actually roommates because... Where tf is Earl supposed to go?? So Rolfe took him in) and idk if this is really like a part of my headcannons or if I just think it's funny so I keep entertaining the idea of it but I think it would be Fantastic if Rolfe had no idea how to cook but Earl somehow did so this idiot is trying to take instructions from a puppet, who can't physically show him what to do, and it's like Hell's Kitchen live featuring a furry and a sentient stuffed animal

Aaaaamd going off of my Rolfe and Earl headcannons still Rolfe for SURE has some sort of executive dysfunction issue. ADD or ADHD I'm not sure (probably ADHD) but he definitely has it also this totally isn't just me projecting how dare you accuse me of that

And!!! More about Dook!!!! I don't know how or why I thought up of this but I cannot possibly imagine him any other way now-- he's autistic and space is his Big Huge special interest, and if you ever ask him about it you have to be prepared to get infodumped or possibly even shown a PowerPoint presentation, because GOD he loves space!!! He wants everyone to know all about it!! He knows not everyone thinks it's as cool as he does so he tries to keep his mouth shut but when someone asks about it he can't help himself and will infodump a LOT, also haha drumming stims go brrrr, playing the drums isn't really a stim but he likes to just take his drumsticks and whack em around in the air and get that good ol Wavy Arm Action (wavy arms is best stim change my mind you can't it's GOOD)

Also i bbbbelieve earlier I reposted somethin about someone else headcannoning that he has echolalia, which I don't really know enough about to say anything on it?? But even if he doesn't have echolalia he'd probably repeat phrases over and over until he gets tired of them (which is,,, something I do lmao, it's either memes I get stuck in my head or things I've heard from various medias I like the inflections in (like one tiktokker I saw was talking about their tourettes and their vocal tics and one of them was "uh oh! How unfortunate!" and now I CAN'T STOP SAYING IT)) but like uhhh yeah :))) repeating phrases that get stuck in your head for various reasons for the win

This is already really long so I'm just gonna vibe out thanks for coming to my Ted talk feel free to ask questions I probably won't be able to answer a lot of em though because my headcannons are a Mess hehe >:)

[rpbetter]

Hi Vespertine. Sorry to add to the pile, I promise I will send in some writing related things to compensate later. I also misgendered that user in a comment by accident with she/her. I blocked them, but they still looked at my blog, and they made a post that said by using the wrong pronouns, which they thought was intentional and meant to hurt them, I purposefully called them a hysterical woman stereotype. Obviously that wasn't true. I was just going off a comment someone else made on my blog where they used she/her, and I thought I had to correct myself. It was a case where good intentions, even if I was not happy with the user's behavior or expected to talk to them again, I was still going to use the right pronouns, but my intentions were warped by someone with an agenda. I'm sorry to hear you're getting the same heat. I didn't use my rp blog to interact with the user or talk about them because I was sure something like this would happen, either by them or other people like that callout blog, and I think other people had the same idea. I dodged a bullet there, but I'm still paranoid. I'm paranoid I'll hear a notif and see my rp blog in a callout for this, because someone hunted it down, or a callout for trying to talk to the person who started all the drama. Nobody should be scared to talk about someone on their own blog. Nobody should be scared to talk openly, in general. Nobody should be called out for trying to talk with someone either. This culture of fear is so disturbing to me.

Hey there, Anon!

Oh, I would love that, but you totally don't have to, of course. Don't feel bad for adding on, I'm here for anything at all, and honestly, with the job I'm doing IRL right now, it's really hard for me to concentrate well enough on finishing any of the advice posts (at least, to be the quality y'all deserve). It's a hot topic, it's included so, so, terribly many people in the RPC. It's also one that's generating some great, needed conversations. So, it isn't like you're adding to anything bad, annoying or distracting me, or contributing to the inflammatory side of this.

Hell, it's got to be really nice for some of the people in messages I've received to see proof that they weren't alone in this experience. I can keep publishing the hate anons for exactly that reason, and I can promise people they aren't the only ones (in this or in any such horrible behavior), but it's different to see it coming from a third party! So, thank you for that.

Though, I am deeply sorry that you were treated to more than a ringside seat in this debacle.

It's not very encouraging to be thoughtful and respectful of other people when literally nothing you can say or do will result in anything other than more twisting of your words, and that's a big problem I have with this shit. Things like actual transphobia, intentional misgendering, actual infantalization and shit treatment of ND people, actual harassment, etc. etc. etc. matter. It's just more trivializing of real problems for the sake of blowing nonexistent bullshit up, and that is immensely disgusting to me. The fact that you damn well know someone out there has had the reaction to this behavior of, well, fuck you then, fuck trans people is really upsetting.

Like, yeah, let's be real, if you require social rewards to do the right thing, you have some problems lol but at the same time, you know who does require social rewards to develop themselves? Young people. And the RPC is largely comprised of people in their early twenties who, for a variety of possible reasons, are still at that point

Furthermore, no, it's not anyone's job to be good representation at all times, especially when that performance comes at a cost to themselves, but maybe don't go out of your way to be the person that is the necessary push in the wrong direction of someone's formative experience with people of your community. If it's costing you nothing to not clown on serious issues, but is costing the entire world another bigot for you to clown on serious issues, the choice should be a bit obvious here. Whenever you're in a safe place - physically, emotionally - and capable of that kind of logic, exercise it, damn.

It's definitely a better course of action than playing out skewed activism by vilifying innocent people, more worthy of one's effort than losing their collective shit over a very easy mistake. One that I'd say was even less avoidable in your case. AGAIN, how, exactly is anyone supposed to know this shit when they're blocked? When they aren't subverting the blocks they, themselves, put in place? I know for a fact none of them are looking at the information of the people they choose to try to drive out of the RPC, but everyone else is supposed to make zero reasonable assumptions, check and recheck blogs they have made an effort not to visit for good reason. Sounds absolutely reasonable and sane!

So, you know what? I'm going to be even more offensive here and talk for a moment about why these mistakes are reasonable.

When we see a post and reblog it, it's not unreasonable to assume that the OP had knowledge we didn't. Since we blocked the offending party, but they're discussing them. OP uses the incorrect pronouns, we end using the incorrect pronouns as well. This is not malicious intent. It isn't intentional at all, it's just having a discussion. A discussion that wouldn't have even transpired if they hadn't taken it upon themselves to (what a coincidence) take personal issue with a RPer they repeatedly took out of context and decided to shame for it, before proceeding to get an even bigger stick and pot.

When we decide to block a blog, it's our responsibility to stay off of it. Not go looking at it for any reason. That is now off-limits. When someone blocks us, it's also our responsibility to respect that decision, no matter how outrageous it was, no matter what we might need to verify. That's the issue with blocking when we don't exploit how easy it is to get around blocking on tumblr; we've cut ourselves off from any further meaningful communication, including passive communication like rules and posts. Kind of like how you cannot expect an apology to mean a damn thing when you've blocked everyone you harassed, then made that apology in a post on your blocked blog. Don't put up walls you expect people to see through, then get upset when they can't see through them.

As a community, the RPC is primarily afab. That's never a problem to bring up when someone wants to be angry about their female muse not getting equal attention and so on, but it's a problem to discuss any other time, about any other problem. Dealing with the things that we're socially raised to ascribe to as afab people is that problem. It's reflected in our behaviors, interests, and speech. We may not want to live in a gendered world, we may eschew that, but we were raised in a gendered world and it shows. One which has a lot of complications for being that, like almost everyone feeling safer around afab people by default of the All Men Are Bad, All Women Are Harmless bullshit.

We not only know that the RPC is primarily afab, we tend to assume comfort, especially in hostile situations, by assuming those pronouns in others.

And it so does not matter how much any of us like it, some people have more masculine or feminine tones. Even in text. That means neither that someone's gender identity should be disregarded nor that this text-based presentation is correct, but like every other unfair thing that exists, it's a thing. Like you, Anon, you genuinely come across in tone as primarily neutral, slight lean toward masculine. Even if I wasn't inclined to do so, not knowing you and all, I'd use they/them for you instinctively because that's what your speech is giving me. That isn't any more unreasonable than ascribing another set of pronouns based on the same information.

Oh yeah, I know, lurkers, the difference is that they/them is the appropriate choice when one does not know. I know that logically, but people aren't always operating like robots, weirdly enough. We default to a lot of instinctive behaviors, and we aren't always operating at the top rung of cognition either. Being human works like that, it's really that simple and not malicious if you're not reading that into it.

As we're all aware, it is being read into, and your experience is exactly why; you now feel worried every time you get a notif, you've been outed as a supposed transphobe, and while it is incredibly fortunate you stopped this from transpiring on your RP blog, it still transpired somewhere and has had a negative effect. If they find they correct thing or set of things, they can get so many more people to dogpile you over it. Get enough people to do that, make someone miserable enough, especially people who are already going through a hard enough time already, they'll leave.

It is a terroristic act, and it has the effect of all terroristic acts; people are afraid to exist outside of shifting bounds (that shifting is a part of the terrorism). They can't have an opinion, write any muse/topic they wish, be honest on their own blogs, support the "wrong" topics, muns, or blogs. Attacking people for a mistake, not allowing them to address it either, just furthers all of that. It's showing the community what happens when you aren't on the "right" side, even if that isn't even the case. They certainly turn on their own quickly enough.

So, of course, it's a culture of fear and it is disturbing as hell. No one has any right to make someone feel unsafe over fiction or a hobby or a difference of opinion. Everyone has the right to say whatever they want on their own blogs, to talk openly, and yes, to try to talk to others without feeling at risk.

Even if what someone says is genuinely unpleasant. This isn't the way one handles it. By all means, have a problem with something, have a problem with someone, but grow up and talk to them openly, without bringing everyone you can dredge up to join in. I have no issue with people arguing, I have an issue with bullying. If it's your whole goal to harass people without consequences to the end result of deactivation and lockstep behavior from everyone else, that's what you're doing, folks. Bullying.

If you can't win an argument, especially one your own ass began, in any other way than this, you're not engaging in an argument.

[bi-bobbysoxxers]

Heyy y'all! I was tagged by @meiyanaalexia Thanks for the tag, fam!

Rules: List ten of your fave female characters from your ten fave fandoms and then tag 10 other ppl!

This list is by no means comprehensive or a ranked list, as i think all my fave characters are equally bad betches, in their own right xD alright let's get to it!

-Tamari and Lady Tsunade (Naruto/Naruto Shippuden)

Tamari's one of the more cool, levelheaded female side characters in naruto and idk, she's very much Gaara and Kankuro's rock, and idk, i like that. I view her as a very strong female character, and i think she carries a lot of badass masculine energy. Plus she's a badass fighter as well. (((And she's hot but that's beside the point lol))) I like Lady Tsunade a lot, but i admit, i wasnt a fan of her at first. But now that I'm seeing her character unfold in Shippuden, I like her a lot. I like the concept that she's kiind of a grouchy, reluctant leader of the leaf village, cause that makes her seem like a very reliable leader, in a way. I think she's hella underrated as a strong character, tbh. Plus i like that she's a healing ninja, cause it seems so opposite to her outward personality. The more i watch naruto the more i'm really liking more of their female characters, tbh.

Quotes!

Tamari: "Sharpen your karma at sunset."

Tsunade: "People become stronger because they have things they cannot forget. That's what you call growth."

-Lucy and Kiyoko (Bungou Stray Dogs)

oh wow, uh, not gonna lie, i really like this anime more for most of the male characters, but Lucy and Kiyoko have alswas been in my faves list. I didnt really understand Lucy's character in season one but as the plot thickens, so does her issues with wanting to morally become a better person, but still being fairly new to learning to become selfless. I think a lot of people can relate to her because she can be fairly emotionally erratic, and she struggles with the whole "forgiveness thing." But later on you see that all she really wanted was a true family and friends that value her. And i think that's something we all want, deep down. Also, her powers are highly unnderrated and badass and i love how she is slowly becoming a protector for ppl like Atsushi, which really shows her growth as a character.

I also put Kiyoko on this list because i think she is equally as good of a female character as Lucy is, but for dif reasons. I loveeee the whole concept of "initially bad" characters soon wanting to become good. There's a simplicity in her character that i think models Atsushi's in a way, i mean they're both damaged, but both yearn to do good and make a comeback with the chances they've been given in life. If Lucy was a Tarot Card she would be the Fool. I also love how steadfast she is in her newfound family and how much she believes in everyone in the ADA now. It's very wholesome and pure :3 also i love her and Atsushi's relationship, it kinda reminds me of me and my BFF's ride or die relationship, lol.

Lucy: "Make sure you survive...Then come back for me. I'll be waiting."

Kiyoko: "I saw a bright world. I cannot go back to a time when I didn't know such a thing existed."

-Luna Lovegood (Harry Potter)

Ugh, there's so many things about this character that I have always loved and adored. Her character design, her quiet whimsical weirdness. Her determined loyalty to the people that accept her. Her lovely simple wisdom, at times. Like Harry said, Luna is just "...coooll." She kinda reminds me of me when I was a teenager but way cooler lol.

Luna: "My mum always said things we lose have a way of coming back to us, in the end."

-Lara Croft (Tomb Raider movies and videogames)

Laura is....a simple character by design. If anything, the plotlines and video game design of the Tomb Raider franchise are way more intricate. And yeah...there's her misogynistic character design (Note: the impossibly snatched waist and bOoBiEs in earlier games.)

BUT. I still stan her for a multitude of reasons. Growing up, there were may more princess characters than female warrior characters and ya know, I'm really glad I was exposed to Lara Croft movies and the Tomb Raider: Legend video games as a kid. I think Laura taught me that you can definitely embrace your feminine side and still be a badass and follow your dreams. Even now, after me finally figuring out i'm not cis, i know, that she's still an icon for most kids out there. And for me too. She was a symbol of bravery, intelligence, as well as still being a character of emotional depth, grieving the loss of her parents while vowing to continue to do what she loved, which is exploring. Cultural and moral problems with her character aside, i still find both her and her stories very inspirational, both as a bigender queer person, and as a designer.

Laura Quotes: "The line between our myths and truth is fragile and blurry."

"The extraordinary is in what we do, not who we are."

-Scorpia (She-Ra)

Oh wow, i could go on for days about how much i love thus character. If you're queer or fun in any capacity you've probably watched the final season fo She-Ra by now and spoilers aside, i just love the journey this character went on from start to finish. Scorpia is so genuine and nice, and sometimes that puts her in situations where she has to make hard decisions. And idk, those decisions just made that character so much better for me. On a lighter note, Scorpia is great queer rep, especially for butch lesbians, lesbians, trans ppl, androg ppl, and gender nonconforming ppl. She's always said things that have resonated with me as a queer person and aside from that, she's a very excitable and fun character. She just excudes so much curiosity and joy that you really can't help but like her, lol.

Scorpia: "I am brave, strong, loyal, and i give great hugs!"

-Sypha (Castlevania)

Altho I personally don't view Sypha as a cis woman, (I see her as nonbinary or agender), I think the way characters treat her in the show is indicative that in that period, they view her as a woman. So i figured I could put her on this list as well lol. Anyways, uhhh wow, Sypha is great, there's so much I love about her that it's hard to put into words. I love that she regards herself as a "scholar" of magic, but still views herself as a heretic, I just find it pretty funny and very sexy of her lol. Aside from that, I think Sypha is a great character who always seeks out logic where there usually ends up being none. I love her cheeky remarks to both Alucard and Trevor, and I love her can-do attitude. At the end of the day, she's one of those characters you love just for her great energy she carries for herself within the show. There's really no rhyme or reason to her, she just, is. She subverts many female mage character tropes as well, being a natural badass. Also her god jokes are so damn funny.

Sypha: "See?? God hates me!?

-Aunt Sarah (Derry Girls)

Okay first of all, if you havent seen Derry girls, pleaseeee watch it, holy shit it's the funniest show i've seen in a longass time. Second of all, my friend and I are still going thru the show, but Ajnt Sarah has started to become one of my favorite characters. She's one of those very aloof characters that you kinda ignore at first but then her character just has these amazing one liners and she really grows on you. Also she is very caring about her family and she's cute as hell???? I'm sorry but like her aesthetic is just on fuckin point, like??? Go off babe?? Anyways yeah she's cute.

No quotes for her since that might ruin some of the better punchlines if you end up watching the show lol.

-Marga (Cable Girls)

Yeah, if you want a really good 1920's drama that focuses on women, go give Cable Girls a try! It is very poetic in its direction lol. Anyways, Marga is one of the "new girls" at the beginning of the show and she is just, so earnest, and genuine, and pure. And I love her. She's very nice to the other girls working and she's got some great one liners. She's that timid, cute character that slowy comes out of her shell throughout the show lol.

-Kiki and Sheeta (Studio Ghibli)

I loveee Studio Ghibli films, and one of my two fave films of Miyazaki are Kiki's Delivery Service and my ultimate fave, Castle in the Sky. I adore Kiki as a character because she is your quintessential cute witch, and her journey with finding and grasping her full powers are very relevant to me, and my journey with upholding my creativity as a designer. As well as being a great movie with a great lessom for all artists, Kiki is a very passionate and genuine character, who's resilency has inspired me in hard times. I love her relationship that she has with other ppl as nd creatures, especially with her cat Gigi. She's cute, i love her lots.

Sheeta, I love for different reasons. Sheeta is one of those rare instances where a quiet protagonist, really works. I love her calm and humble, yet powerful energy surrounding her. I love her background, and how there has always beem magic inside of her, even if she's not a practicing witch. She is so very humble and a very introspective character. There's not a lot of female protagonists quite like her. Plus she's adorable as well, lol.

-Aunt Hilda, Zelda, Prudence, and Lilith (CHAOS)

I'm not gonna get into super specifics since i love all these characters equally, but I will say that all these characters absolutely MADE this series for me. I personally found Sabrina's character very annoying and slightly egotistical (i mean she's allowed to be i suppose,lol) but these characters were just so much fun!

I love Aunt Hilda for her soft personality and great revenge comebacks. I love Prudence for her aesthetic, character design, and amazing characrer development throughout the series. I love Lilith, for being both a BAMF and. MILF, lolz. And finally, i absolutely adore Zelda's character, for being so poised, calculating, blunt, and yet so very badass and loveable xD I love everything about her character, tbh.

There's so many good quotes from each character, so just watch the show, lol.

Andddd i think that's it! Sorry this was super long, I wanted to state my reasoms for why these characters were on the list, lol. Hope you liked some of my character analysis, feel free to screech with me about shows anytime lol. I'd love more good show recs!

You def don't have to go as hard as I did on this but I tag:

@heathen-beast @iquotetheravennevermore @sweet-communist @gardiewithyou @sawayakakuns @shortlady72 @thatonegirluniverse @thatlowkeyhipster @letting-and-living @beauxxxtifullies @catastrafey

Anyone else can participate if they feel like it! Have fun lol. Let's love our great women characters lol.

[glitch200279]

[Before you come at me, I am a bi trans guy]

Idk what exclus needs to hear this but:

-Being a dick to people you don't think belong in the community don't make them suddenly go "omg, you're right!" [This DOES include the "pannie flops" accounts where you basically post pancringe]

-Pan, omni, & poly actually AREN'T biphobic or transphobic & they can coexist with bisexuality! Yes yes, I DID read the bisexual manifesto AND I know how important bi people are to all LGBTQ history! But I still have this opinion so sit down.

-To me, they go like this [and someone can correct me, especially with poly & omni]: Bi is more than one->All genders, pan is inherently all, poly is more than one but never all, omni is inherently all but gender still may be a bigger factor [may have messed up on omnis definition & maybe polys too, but you get the point]

A lot of people [idk if you would consider them inclus or exclus] consider pan, omni, & poly, to be real valid & important, but on a Bi+ spectrum AKA, they're under the bi-umbrella [the umbrella being liking more than one gender]. Like the Nonbinary umbrella for example. The nonbinary umbrella holds all genders that aren't binary, for example agender, demi-boy, demi-girl, ect. But nonbinary is ALSO a label in itself.

So, why don't these people who are "closer" to identifying as binary just identify as a binary gender? Like demi-boys just identify as... Boys. And agender people just say they're nonbinary?

Because that small distinction in definition to THEM is important to explain THEIR relationship with their gender identity, same with pan, omni, & poly. Maybe you're just like "But it's literally just bi with extra steps..." But to them, that smallest definition in meaning is important to them in explaining how they feel & their relationship with their sexuality, and that's honestly none of your business.

-The whole "Pannies DNI" or making fun of micro labels/filling their positivity tags with hate honestly makes the bi community feel unsafe & the whole "exploring your sexuality" not safe either. Before I realized I was bi, I tried to find a Tumblr account where I could ask questions [because I was honestly highkey in denial][I thought I was gay btw this isn't a "former pan here"] and while it wasn't the whole account, there was still so much pan hate on one of the first accounts I found. It didn't feel like a good idea to follow, because what kinda disgusting person just fills positivity tags with negativity & hate? Plus I knew if I said I was questioning I would probably get the whole "You like boys? Like girls? Bi." And it just gave me a horrible IMPRESSION of the bi community [I found lots of cool people & accounts after that thankfully] & that's not what you should want when you're telling people that micro labels hurt you & How important you are to the community...

-You aren't fucking entitled to know why someone identifies the way they do sit down. "Uh if I feel like they're hurting my community-" no, sit down. You can say "Hey, I'm curious as to why" but if you go in with an entitled attitude like "I deserve to know this info" AND "I deserve to know it because you're hurting MY community imo so... Info now :)" like fuck right off.

-Allies deadass don't care that much. "Oh people who don't feel sexual attraction are in that community? Fire. People who don't feel romantic attraction too? Lit! Oh there's Mutiple things for liking more than one gender identity? I'm confused but sounds cool!" Like real allies don't fucking care as much as you're acting, and when "inclus" say you care more about cishets liking you rather than protecting those in your community, we [at least when I say it] mean you care more about the approval of people that won't like you even if Jesus came back and said "I LOVE ALL THE QUEERS!" The people who would spit in his face & call him a false idol for saying that. Of course cishet supporters are important, but it should be all or nothing, not "LG/B/T[maybe nonbinary, but not those weird xenogenders & neopronouns, or those weird ones like "demi boy"]" and you're going with the second one when you choose to fight with your own community over who belongs, what doesn't, what is basically what, etc. Etc. You can have those opinions yes! But you aren't "protecting" the community at all.

-Aces & Aros are inherently in the community, just because you or your ace friend don't think they are, doesn't make it fact. And including them doesn't mean straight people will try & pretend to be in the community? Like they could just say they're bi, pan, poly, omni, or even just say they're trans but very post op. Like first of all there are easier ways to pretend to be in the community, so idk why you're going after aces & aros like they're the cause. Plus how many cishets do you know that know about Asexuality & Aromanticism, but aren't either themselves? Also including them doesn't make less room for everyone else.

-Some of y'all are really quick to be alloallo [not ace & I think that's not aro either] & say something aphobic/arophobic but say you aren't/weren't. Like so you, someone who is neither, knows more than someone who is? Also not some of y'all getting offended at being called allo & mocking it😷

This was really messy & confusing probably, sorry for any grammar & spelling mistakes [and if I got any definitions wrong], but yeah I hope you still got the point.

Basically if you're exclus, have your opinions, I can't change them. But when you're to the point to running accounts mocking those identities [and using real examples], filling their tags with hate & gross shit, and/or you're constantly making fun of them, you are no longer in the right morally, even if you're factually right. Like no one wants to side with an asshole [but I have looked at all your points & I think they're still dumb without you being a dick, but you won't convince anyone who might be a little open like that]

[fivefootab1tch]

allllllrighty~ here’s my tHING~<3 i recognize that i talk pretty fast (and i was also trying to be hushhush so i probably didn’t come out as clear as i wanted to) so i’m including a script under the cut~

Tagged by @momtaku, @laffitine, & @dirtylevi ~ ♡ //thank y'all smmmmm// Tagging @shuuhuu @madcapraccoon @matcha-castella @starry-raven​ & everyone else on here who needs an excuse to do it and wants to. i’ll share the love and peer pressure asdkjfnak

'Aight, so here's my stab at Mamataku's SnK Voice Meme 4.0! I wrote a script to try and keep myself on track, but... the fuck if I ever know how to play right, so here we go~

State your name and username. 『sal, fivefootab-i-tch』 Is there a story behind your user name that you’d like to share? 『it's from an o.g. fandom video called "More Sassy Levi (Ezekieru Outtakes)". this was way before i was more or less tumblr savvy and i've gone through variations of it before settling on this one to mimic Ezekieru's pronunciation of BITCH. i'd wanna have a completely hyphenless version of this url to make my presence easier for the tumblr system to SWALLOW, kkkk but it's taken. the version of it with a 1 instead of the i isn't though... so maybe i'll switch to that one, i dunno. what's a brand?』 Where are you from? 『i'm from the states, southern california, bordertown asscrack of the U.S. you might get that lazy, high as balls, surfer feel from my voice since i've been here all my life』 How long have you been a fan of the series? 『i'm about two years late from the anime release, and i only know this because i immediately started writing fanfiction after binging the series in summer 2015. so... coming on 4 years? damn.』 What is your favorite and least favorite Arc? 『my favorite arc is the uprising arc, a pretty popular opinion, for a lot of reasons: the sudden turn of events, levi's collarbones, levi as a kid, KENNY, the characters all having their own unique identity crisis as their morals are suddenly taking turns, historia reclaiming her identity... (which was something that hits a little too close to home for comfort, but what's a good series that doesn't rip your personal feelings to shreds?)』 『i'm not a big fan of the marley side of things, another pretty popular opinion. for me, suddenly switching to a new cast of characters and setting after so much was accomplished in the uprising arc and return to shiganshina felt like betrayal. i mean... they get to the basement, which was the whole ass goal of the entire series up to that point, then we suddenly screech to a halt to tell someone elses' story. i can understand it... theoretically? i guess? bbut the whole time i was still like "wait a minute, what happened with the main cast?" bits and pieces of it have grown on me since, but i still have a ways to go to invest myself. politically, i just realized... marley really grinds my gears. why did i have to realize this? i'm shook. i can't believe this. i'll process it later.』 Do you have a favorite moment in the story thus far? 『eren screaming "the world outside the walls is my birthright" for... reasons. historia reclaiming her identity for... reasons... i've found myself hyperinvested in this series for immensely personal reasons i hope to eventually see through in my own life. i wanna be free, too. i also liked the moment in the uprising arc when levi thanked armin for saving jean. it was rough, but something he needed to hear. also any moment levi praises people. it's really cute.』 If you could resurrect one dead character who would it be and why? 『kuchel, because not only does levi deserve his mother but i would've loved to see more of her and how she raised levi into the compassionate kind of guy he is now. that side of him survived the tough love kenny put him through, so she must've breathed hella life into her kid and that's something i'd love to have seen more of』 Who is your favorite character and why? 『levi, for a lot of obvious as well as not so obvious reasons.』 『obvious reasons: he's pretty fucking cute. his sass and one liners are hilarious. his sense of humor's a clusterfuck of bad shit jokes and dark takes the people around him don't understand half the time and that's pretty funny in itself. he's o.p. as hell but the way the story makes it not matter when it comes down to it (because the universe is just THAT fucked up) is really something. he's in a league of his own but the depth of his characterization and development shows that's only a small part of who he is. the story demands so much more of him and the ways he rises (and sometimes falls) to the occasion makes me really like him. he's showcased as Humanity's Strongest but he's still human and flawed as fuck.』 『not so obvious reasons: he says fuck gender roles. he's short and makes the trans guy side of me feel pretty good. that particular character trait isn't just a gag for me. he started from the bottom now he's here. he always sides with the powerless, the helpless. he (to his own personal moral code) uses the strength he has for good as opposed to using it to keep people below him, something he could very well do if he uncritically internalized everything kenny spoonfed him, and wanted to. he doesn't sit on a moral high horse. he's open minded and accepting of letting people decide things for themselves. he's humble. if he doesn't understand something, he'll look to other people and he does all that while remaining confident and assertive in his own abilities. he doesn't hold himself above doing the dirty work if he feels he's best suited to do it. he genuinely cares about people and does his best to talk them through their issues when they need it, even if he's clumsy while doing it. it's really inspirational and personally validating .』 Any OTPs? 『erejean hits me a certain way. they're everything "boys will be boys" is SUPPOSED to mean, and i still can't get over jean calling eren cool. they're just so funny and i love their dynamic. hange and petra hits too for a reason i don't really understand yet. i don't get super invested in pairings, but i do like seeing character dynamics being explored in different lights and stuff. **** i bonded with my partner over roleplaying an au ereri thread, so that pairing's pretty special too. i didn't ship it at first, but being open to it has led me to getting to know this amazing person, so... yeah.』 You are able to transport to the SnK Universe for a day. How do you spend it? 『helping out. i don't know what i'd be able to contribute, but i'd want to be doing something to make the lives of the main cast easier. they have it really hard, and so many times i wanted to be able to do something for them. so i write my original characters into fanfiction. on the other hand, if it's a world where i'm independent and free to live whatever life i wanna live, i'd wanna go absolutely apeshit first. see everything there is to see and live all the life there is to live. ****perform a strip tease at a scout party and have the officers stick bills into my boobs.**** THEN commit myself to some sort of social or military work for the scouting legion. ****be their comfort... if yaknoe what i mean. it's good honest work~♡****』 Eren Jaeger did nothing wrong or Eren Jaeger did everything wrong? 『eren jaeger is what eren jaeger does. i can't vouch for whether or not he's right or wrong because there's no way i can really put myself in the situation he's in. mass genocide is very wrong, without a doubt, but something tells me there's something else going on and his real intentions are more complicated. a pivotal point in the series for him was his tribunal, where levi played the role of the arrogant wank to save his life and beat his ass before the whole military court. i think there's something similar going on here. he could be playing a role too, but it still stands that i have no idea. i'm not so invested in condemning or glorifying him, because the things i enjoy about his character aren't really going to be influenced.』 What is your favorite song in the series? Feel free to sing an extract 『i love them all. hiroyuki sawano makes such amazing soundtracks and all the vocals are powerful and chilling as fuckall hell. some favorites i do have are red swan, Vogel im Käfig, Bauklötze, call your name, it's answer song call of silence, youseeBIGGIRL, the spanish version of so ist es immer. so uh... even though i'm not very good at it, i do really love singing, so... i'm gonna try and sing some for y'all. i know a lot more english, japanese, and spanish than i do german so... i'm sorry!』 ****『Like the scarlet night veiling the dark You can hide your fear Can lie, my dear Kono mama yume wo mite Chi darake no tsubasa Hirogete』**** 『Las sillas ya juntas están Charlamos toda la noche  Este lugar no esta nada mal  Y creo que nos llevamos bien ****Solo estamos nosotros  Siempre es nuestra luz  Cantando y bebiendo, puedes estar tu Bajo el cielo azul  Siempre estamos asi  Y largas son las noches aqui』 『Ist das der Zerstörer oder der Schöpfer?』**** 『one of these days, when i feel more bearable to listen to, i'll... try and do some full ass covers, if y'all would be down for that ♡』 Bonus: What would Erwin do? 『about... what? everything going down now? i dunno. all i can offer is a dream daddy reference. he's chilling in Margaritaville somewhere... 』 Say the following: Wall Maria, Jean Kirschstein, Reiner Braun, Ymir, Theo Magath, Onyankopon, Kiyomi Azumabito, Hajime Isayama, Shiganshina Trio, Shingeki no Kyojin, Shinzou wo Sasageyo