#amuse writes stuff

[captainadwen]

Damian Wayne vs the World

Sixteen year old Damian Wayne is on the hunt for a younger sibling. Being more discerning than Bruce 'child collector' Wayne, Damian's firm criteria for Batman's latest adoption problem includes but is not limited to: black haired, blue-eyed, tolerable humor, not evil, and most importantly - younger than Damian.

Lucky for him, fourteen year old newbie vigilante Danny Fenton is the perfect fit. Now, to fulfill his end of their deal, Damian must defeat the evil government organization hunting Danny in order to gain a baby brother.

Or, @livinghalfway your post made my brain go !! but in such a different way I figured it was better to make a separate post, hope you don't mind/enjoy still

~~

Damian Wayne re-entered Tim Drake's life like a gnat revealing itself in a closed bedroom space. Tim was in t-shirt and a boxers, maneuvering ramen into his mouth with one hand and scribbling out an epiphany on a murder case with another, when Damian's demonic dulcet voice echoed down from the ceiling. "Drake," said Damian, judgemental, "You live like this?"

Tim nearly choked on his ramen, because the day Damian doesn't attempt to murder him - however doubtfully accidental this incident might be - is the day Darkseid decides to be friends with the Justice League. "Fucking knock," Tim coughed out. "And get out. No one invited you in."

"Put better traps if you don't want me here," said Damian, dropping from the ceiling where he'd crawled in on wall-clamps.

"This is my apartment," said Tim. "It's called courtesy."

Damian sniffed. He padded around to Tim's desk and frowns at his cases, then said, with no further lead up, "I need your assistance."

"No," said Tim.

"You did not even listen to my request."

"Don't need to," said Tim. "Answer's still no. Door is that way. Bye."

"Father says mutually assisting each other is beneficial," said Damian.

"Father," said Tim sarcastically, "blamed me for you exploding a glitter bomb in the batcave two weeks ago."

"That is your fault for not being able to provide evidence to the contrary in an appropriately efficient manner," said Damian. He squinted down at Tim. "And he apologized. Eventually."

"I would not have glittered the batcomputer," said Tim. "Do you know how much of a pain in the ass it is to backup those servers? No, because you don't like tech work, you just profit off it."

"Blaming me for Father's mistake," said Damian, "Most mature of you. But we must put our differences aside. I have selected a new family member and I need you to dismantle a government organization."

That drew Tim up short. He blinked down at his ramen as though it might explain Damian's words to him, but the ramen remained disappointingly uninformative. "Repeat that," said Tim, gesturing with his chopsticks. "Slower, and with more detail."

Damian pulled out his phone and sent him an email. Silence surrounded them in the brief moment it took Tim to set aside his chopsticks and open the email. The subject line was titled 'New Baby Brother', which birthed all sorts of horrifying nightmares of Damian Part 2: Demon Child Boogaloo. The teen in the inserted picture, however, was reassuringly not in possession of Damian's bone structure.

He did have black hair and blue eyes. "Who am I looking at?" asked Tim.

"Daniel Fenton," said Damian. "He is fourteen years old, enjoys puns, and has recently awakened 'ghost powers' that allow him to transform into the vigilante Phantom to fight other ghosts."

"Is he also an orphan with a tragic backstory?"

"No," said Damian, and Tim relaxed. "But that will not be an issue. We can share custody if they cannot be removed from the picture."

"Jesus H, kid."

"I am joking, of course," said Damian blandly. "Murder is wrong."

"Ha ha," said Tim. "If he has parents already he's not joining our menagerie."

"He will," said Damian, with a smug upwards tilt of his lips. "He and I have a deal."

"So you're coercing him in addition to stalking him. Anything else you want to share with the class?"

Damian considered this query with a serious frown, which was how Tim knew this was not a flight of fancy or a very early midlife crisis (although with their lifestyle and Damian already having died before...).

"He has," said Damian after a moment, "a rogue that calls himself 'The Master of all Technology' and is a technopath." This was clearly meant to be of interest to Tim, and not to be a stereotype, but it kind of was.

"Great." Tim turned his attention back to the email the demon child sent him. He scanned through it quickly. There was apparently a secret and evil government organization dedicated to the investigation and extermination of 'ghosts' and other paranormal creatures in the world. Their latest efforts were focused on the town of Amity Park, Illinois, which was 'infested with ectoplasmic pests'. Their words, not Damian's. (It was specified in the email.)

"Okay," Tim drummed his fingers against his desk. "Before I help you defeat this secret evil government organization so that," he opened the email attachment with a contract on it and squinted at the legalese, "this poor newbie teen you've harassed into signing this joins the family in exchange."

"I did not harass him," Damian huffed. "It was a gentleman's agreement."

"Does he know that?"

"I am not a politician, Drake. I thoroughly explained the terms and legalities before presenting any contract. Now ask your question."

"Why are you doing this?"

"Because," said Damian, tone implying 'you are stupid and haven't noticed something obvious, idiot'. "Father has begun saying he misses the noise around the manor and looking wistfully at old pictures."

"We still live there though?" said Tim. Damian looked flatly at him. "Sometimes."

"If you lived there frequently enough," said Damian, "you would already know Father is having...empty nest syndrome." Damian sounded disgusted. "I refuse to tolerate whatever inadequate and incompetent child he will find."

"So instead you found an incompetent and inadequate child for him?"

"Don't be stupid, Drake," said Damian. "I would not have chosen someone inadequate. Daniel is merely lacking formal training. Father can rectify this. It will keep him occupied for at least the next two to four years, which gives me enough time to find another black-haired, blue-eyed, tolerable child I approve of to be his successor and my second younger sibling." Damian paused. "Or until one of you procreates and gives him a grandchild."

"You're really serious about this," Tim whispered in horrified awe.

"I am serious about everything I do," said Damian. "Now, you will help me defeat this evil government organization so that our new sibling joins us."

"Okay," said Tim, but his mind snagged on a minor, throwaway detail, so utterly in odds with Damian 'Demonic Jealous Child' Al Ghul it surely came from another person - "Did you just call this kid your successor?"

[ri-writes-if]

working on the first draft. wrote "you won't need to fight or kill" like a liar I am

[leapdayowo]

I am learning that writing my own story is akin to unraveling a ball of yarn. I find one end, unravel it and it’s satisfying and fun, then BOOM massive clump of knots! But no worries! I’ll just- if I can get this loop over this bit- oh for the love of- how did that happen??? And then most of the knots are out of that section (ignoring the ones I just tighten so much I cannot get them out). And then more unraveling fun! Yippee! until the mother of all tangles and knots appears from the center somehow like a writhing king rat and there’s yarn everywhere :’) some piles are meticulously folded or laid out nice and neat on the floor while other parts are a Mess. And I’m sitting there, looking at this creation/project at 2am realizing, I can’t put it back. Maybe I could have at the first hiccup, but Oh No. I have to finish this now because look at how much progress I’ve made! And made if I. Just. Keep. Chipping. Away. At. It-

nope.

I’m sleepy

so I carefully scoop everything up and place it in a basket until six months later when I have more important things to do that I really don’t want to do, I find that basket and dump its contents back out and start retracing my steps and progress I made on the yarn. I ‘tsk’ at the tight knots beyond help and resolve to take it slower. There is no rush with this particular ball of yarn to unravel it and get it ready to be used. So this end goes over here, then over here, put this piece in my mouth to create tension over here, pull this through then under- AHA!

and so it goes :)

[mollysunder]

Idk why people set up Ezreal and Jinx as rivals, I feel like Jinx would find this dude hilarious.

Everytime Ezreal's in Piltover, he literally causes havoc all over the place and never apologizes for it. Ezreal has such hater energy to any normal ass person in Piltover. He tries to lawyer his way out of crimes he's committed to Caitlyn.

He thinks Piltovans are conceited... as a culture. Ezreal spent most of his school days playing pranks and playing truant. He regularly ruins other people's plans good or bad. This dude a slightly more mundane Piltie version of Jinx and he doesn't even like Piltover.

Ezreal's rightfully wary of Jinx, but I can't see any version of Jinx intimidated or even annoyed by a guy like this. He is a clown. He can be her clown.

[gabelew]

i draw enough pre-calamity and pre-botw zora art that creating a timeline spreadsheet was necessary for my sanity (not posting full size versions bc its still very much a messy wip, just wanted to show you guys the scope)

[ionesyapping]

[spotaus]

New Age AU (Obtaining Killer)

Hey guys! Through with a bot of stuff for the day and I have a sneaking suspicion that this stress headache will not leave me until I finish some projects for work, so I *may* be m.i.a. for a hot second until they stop.

In the meantime, I want to drop this! (Unedited, unrefined, raw off the slab style)

Andddd @ancha-aus and @papiliovolens ! Hello! (Mutzelputz if u see this, the tags weren't working for some reason, I apologize.)

Hope y'all enjoy!

Ccino had convinced him to leave the castle. After nearly a year had passed since his last true public appearance. Since he'd stolen the apple from his brother. Nine months had passed since he'd sent Dream away. He tried not to think about it.

Nightmare had been finding out a lot about his magic. How it made him jittery, and how he felt like he understood so much more. How it made him deeply paranoid, quick to react.

How it made people listen to him.

He figured it was because he was scary now. The negative magic condensed over every inch of his bone wasn't exactly appealing, and the extra limbs which had sprouted from his spine now acted like his own personal weapons. If someone didn't listen, didn't give him an answer he liked, the limbs moved without him even thinking.

It had taken time to learn to better control them. Even now, they writhed in his wake. His nerves expressed through their lashing and twitching as they hovered just above the ground.

The streets weren't exactly crowded.

Upon word of the King's arrival to this small providence, Nightmare had found that many people fled from his path. His travel party of several soldiers, and himself on horseback. He'd always wanted to ride horses. The traitor twin was someone that every citizen wished to avoid.

Ccino had coaxed him outside with promises of fresh air. Apparently there were promising young members of the city guard that Ccino swore would be wonderful future knights. Young warriors for him to bring up loyally under his name, no fear of betrayal.

It had made sense, at the time, but Nightmare hadn't chosen to recruit any of them.

It wasn't to say he didn't want to. Several of the humans and monsters were very talented, and he did his best to give them praise, but he could tell. None of them wanted to work under him. They didn't like him. Rejection and hatred that had pierced him immediately, he could practically taste it.

Ultimately, they would do better here in their hometown. A place they were passionate about protecting, and with people they cared for. Night would not try to mold promising soldiers into his perfect guard. No matter how smart of an idea it may have been.

And so he'd moved on.

Night had visited several smaller shops, onces which couldn't afford to refuse him, and he bought some fabrics, a trinket, some small thing from each place he stopped by. He payed exactly the price he needed for each thing. He wouldn't bribe his people, either. The best he could do would be to remain neutral.

He did discover, against all odds, that he was enjoying this day out. Ccino was, in fact, usually correct about this sort of thing.

The travel had been enriching. Almost exciting. He'd never gotten out of the castle much at all, this was all new and excitingly mundane.

Good things do not last forever.

It was almost sunset when he noticed it. Torches being set up, a platform prepared. A crowd gathering.

An execution, came the mutter from one of his soldiers. Though he recognized the set-up, Night had never been in attendance to an execution. He was morbidly curious. The crowd held such a contempt. A broiling hunger for blood.

He wished he'd wheeled his horse away when a few people were ushered out of a nearby building.

The prison, maybe?

There weren't many of them. Nightmare dismounted his steed, and much to the dismay of the soldiers at his side, he found himself sinking. Into the growing shadows cast by the dying sun.

He re-emerged beside the stage, where the few people were lined up. Ready for death by hanging.

That trick wasn't one that Nightmare quite understood yet, but he was always drawn to feelings of intense negativity. He knew that, now. Something about these prisoners were bothering him, even at a distance, and he found himself more curious as he stood before them.

His guards, at the back of the crowd, hadn't seemed to figure out where he had gone. He had the time, now, to loom over the small group of prisoners.

The city guards, the trained ones, had likely seen him earlier at their headquarters. They did not speak even a word against him as he stared.

Nightmare stared at these faces.

A dog monster, scrappy and scarred, black fur clashing against a few patches of white. One of her ears was missing.

A pair of humans, both men, one with long, curly red hair and another with short-cropped red hair and the beginnings of a beard. Maybe they were brothers?

A skeleton. His sockets dripped with black magic, and his soul was a piercing crimson, just infront of his chest.

A flame monster, small and stout. Their flames a flickering green and purple. One of their eyes had a patch over it.

Nightmare was not great at determining emotions yet. He was hardly versed in his own feelings, but there had been improvement recently. Understanding new emotions had been coming more naturally to him.

Sometimes it hurt, but he was learning.

Now, past the blossoms of a headache, he felt a bit baffled as he subconsciously picked through the negativity these monsters exuded. Their fear. Their pain. Their loss, and their anger.

Oh.

"Only one of you is guilty."

He'd said it without thinking, practically announcing it with a voice that still felt unnaturally deep. A voice which rattled his ribcage and seemed to force past the barrier of darkness around him.

The group before him seemed startled. Confused.

Well, all but the skeleton, who seemed to only raise his skull slightly. As though just noticing Nightmare was there.

"How could you have possibly been jailed in the first place?" He muttered a bit quieter to himself.

He knew, deep down, that there were many, many rules in place for situations like this. Laws which he could challenge. People he could speak to. He could appoint members of his court to each of these people and try to earn their innocence through the rites of the law.

Then again, he remembered the rage of the crowd. The frustration of the people waiting to see these killings take place.

He didn't know what to do.

Now the prisoners, especially the two humans, were staring at him hopefully. He'd managed to shatter the negativity a bit. He believed them. He knew this was wrong.

"I don't know..."

The mutter came again unprompted.

These people would not have the means to repay him for his help. He couldn't just waive fees, or risk his court turning against him. He couldn't afford enemies being made so close to his inner circle.

He couldn't just leave them, though. Not after he'd seen the injustice of it all.

Stuck in his own thoughts, he was drawn out of it by a snickering laugh.

"Just set them free." A voice followed, "You are our King, aren't you?"

Nightmare then found his eyes drawn to the skeleton.

The others had eased themselves away from him. He stood, now, almost alone. He seemed unbothered by speaking up, his sockets held in an almost lazy posture. Tension going completely un-held.

He grinned up as the King, and seemed to watch contentedly as the thought settled in Nightmare's skull.

He could do that. Simply waive their charges. Pardon them. He could do that, surely. Many royals had done it before him for less certain terms. His mother had plenty of times.

"And you are guilty. You'll still be hanged. You know this, don't you?" Nightmare asked.

That was when the Skeleton's lazy sockets seemed to tighten with a sort of glee. Some hidden joke Nightmare wasn't privy to.

"Hmm." This was a poor choice. This was a bad decision. "Tell me, quickly, how you came to be here. Before I proceed?"

Nightmare didn't know why he was asking. He was... curious. Just like he had always been.

Very few people would ever speak straight to his face. Ccino, that was the only one who'd done it since his change. Since the prophecy. This skeleton had done it. He'd spoken when no one else could muster even a plea.

The silence he seemed to bring to every room. Broken, just briefly.

The skeleton stared at him a moment.

"Name's Killer, your majesty." The tone was mocking. "A while back a buddy of mine got into hot water, and I decided to help them out. Now, plenty of bodies later, I'm the one stuck on death row."

Simple. An admission of guilt.

Nightmare stared at him some more.

Finally, it seemed his frantic guards had noticed him. Found him. They rushed to his side, though not as fast as he would've liked. He could feel the frustration seeping from each armored body around him.

"You don't have an aversion to it," Nightmare voiced, "Killing, I mean."

Killer nodded. Unashamed.

It felt strangely calm, still. Perhaps it was because the crowd was still chattering. They likely hadn't noticed Nightmare at all.

The king turned to the city guard, still stood on the steps. "Free these four people. My judgement decrees them as not-guilty."

And, before any time could pass in the slightest. "Killer, I would like you to accompany me, before you abscond."

He'd noticed it. Killer had undone his cuffs before their conversation. Completely freeing himself from his weak imprisonment.

Killer seemed amused at the concept of sticking around to chat.

"If you would, I would like to recruit your services at my castle. I need a man who is willing to kill. And kill swiftly." Ccino said to establish an image. It was obvious now that his reputation would remain in the gutter, no matter what choices he made. He was not Dream.

Killer's sockets narrowed.

"And what would I get for being your little hunting dog?" Again, it was bold. It was new.

Nightmare was sure his expression hadn't changed since he'd come before the group. That same angry glare that sat permanently along his skull. The magic had an image to project.

His tendrils flicked, slightly.

"Payment, room, Fresh meals, and any other amenities you may like, so long as it does not break our treasury." He replied, "All I ask is that you simply obey me. And Me alone."

Not true. He'd probably ask for him to listen to Ccino as well. Once he knew for certain he'd stay.

Killer seemed to be thinking. He eyed they king, up and down. He looked to each of the guard around the king. The ones who were back in position now, though Nightmare could feel their annoyance. Their confusion.

Then Killer turned.

Then he turned back.

"Mm. Can't be worse than the ol' noose." Killer replied. "Funny way to run a country, my king. Hiring the first murderer you spot?"

Nightmare didn't humor that with a response. He was honestly shocked the skeleton had even agreed.

Though, all of that negativity had been swapped out for a glee. Something deep in Killer had changed during their brief interaction. A hope. Night could barely grasp the edges of its existence with his subconscious. But it was there.

.

He ignored the crowds as they grew confused. He ignored the worry pouring from the criminals as he had them released and informed them of their pardon.

He did not ignore when his guards told someone to keep their distance. He glanced up. Killer was standing beyond the guards, looking bored.

Nightmare, trusting fool he was, didn't even ask a guard to watch him to ensure he stayed put.

"Stand down." He ordered the guard, who begrudgingly allowed the skeleton to smugly slip past.

His tendrils kept the monster at a distance Night preferred all on their own. He seemed to take the hint.

"They're all gonna be dead by morning, you know." Killer voiced easily.

Nightmare turned to him, confused. What did he mean by that? He'd pardoned them?

"Are you deaf? The crowd wanted us dead, especially me." He chuckled, "Leaving them here is definitely going to get them killed. If the crowd doesn't rip them apart the second you leave, then it'll happen at night. There will be no witnesses."

Oh... Night hadn't fathomed that these people could turn on the innocent once declared. It hadn't even crossed his mind. Did they have a home to return to? A family they put at risk?

The noose was a fast death, but being murdered? That would've been so much worse.

He could tell, by the way they evaded looking at Killer, that he was right. Nightmare would be sentencing them to a new sort of death if he did it like this.

But he didn't have time for a trial. Or several. The sun was going down, abd Ccino expected him back. The castle needed him present, or they might revolt.

Someone might hurt Ccino.

Oh, he was such a poor ruler. He did not know his people well enough. How he lamented the lessons Dream had taken about crowds and current issues abd how to be likeable.

Night didn't know how to handle this. He was still learning!

A trembled in his hand. He tucked the limb quickly away from where it had been lightly clutching his tunics thick fabric, now hiding it beneath his cloak.

"Killer is right. It won't be safe here, for any of you." He spoke. Thank the gods it didn't sound as shaken as he felt. "I extend an offer to you all. You may stay here, or you may come take up positions among my staff back at the castle. Unlike Killer, I do not expect any crime from you, but you will be paid and housed."

The offer was met with a roar of frustration from the crowd, Nightmare chose to allow his guards to handle it. He watched, carefully, as the four looked between eachother.

The brothers agreed first. (They introduced themselves as brothers as they knelt in thanks.) Then the Dog. She said she had no family left to watch over, starting a new life would be for the best.

The flame refused, saying they would leave town by morning, and try to stay safe.

And so, Nightmare left the town with four new party members. Each had been provided a horse, each tied to one of the guards. Aside from Killer, whose steed was held personally by Nightmare.

He figured Ccino would chew him out for this, for bringing criminals into the castle when he was sent to collect soldiers, but Nightmare had a good feeling about these ones.

They did not hate him. Or fear him. He was helping them. And it felt good.

[wordfather]

thank god i suck ass at my hobby and no one give a shit. creating things is so fun when you suck so much at it and no one is watching

[walkingstackofbooks]

Trying to clear out my drafts and have come across multiple barely-started thoughts that I'd forgotten about but also do want to finish 😅

this one's so devastating it needs to be a fic you don't understand no I can't elaborate

hell if I can connect these thoughts but it'll come to me someday probably I hope

I think this might have been the one that ended up with them sounding Julian and sucking him off at the same time but I actually can't remember ¯⁠\⁠_⁠(⁠ツ⁠)⁠_⁠/⁠¯

This sounds just SO familiar, did I actually end up finishing this post elsewhere or have I just imagined many variations on a theme? Idk

Finally, one I can delete! Yeah I have no idea what this meant either XD

[27dragons]

So the amazing and wonderful @zillac beta'ed my next fic last night, and I thought I'd just tease some of their comments...

This covers a span of roughly 550 words. In a fic that's just about 20k.

So. You know. Everything is very cool and normal here.

This will start posting sometime this week, after I'm done editing.

[insomnya777]

do you guys know that youtube dating show called the button. because i was watching it with my friend the other day bc we were bored and we were like this seems funny and i somehow got a boat boys fic idea based off of it. so if i make a fic about the button dating show will people underdtand or is it too niche

[mj-iza-writer]

Whumptober Day 11

Seeing Double - Convenience store - Loneliness - "leave no trace behind, like you don't even exist" (Taylor Swift, Illicit Affairs)

"Whumpee, you can't run forever", Whumper, a police officer who picked on homeless people, yelled after them.

Whumpee rounded a corner, 'just a little farther.'

Whumper was catching up as Whumpee started to bang on a familiar door.

"Sanctuary please", Whumpee cried out, near tears, "please."

The door opened just as Whumper grabbed Whumpee from behind.

A figure stood by the door and glared at Whumper.

"How can I be of assistance", the figure stated coldly.

"Go back inside Villain, do not interfere", Whumper stated as they fought with Whumpee.

"I don't take orders from you", Villain crossed their arms, "Whumpee, what's going on?"

"Ow", Whumpee sobbed, and looked back at Whumper.

"You can let them go, they won't run", Villain stated.

"They'll run inside, and you'll slam the door", Whumper glared, "you did that last time."

Whumpee struggled, "I was trying to get food, then he showed up and yelled at me. Then, as I left the store, he started to chase me."

"You were stealing", Whumper stated.

"No, I had money, I kind lady gave me a few bucks, I was going to get food and a drink", Whumpee reached for their pocket, and pulled out some cash.

"I was called by the owner, they said you were being shady. They're tired of your kind stealing from them", Whumper argued.

"I was trying to read the different labels and prices", Whumpee sighed and looked at Villain, "I just wanted food, honest."

Villain's heart sunk when they heard those words.

"Clearly, there has been a misunderstanding", Villain frowned, "they haven't done anything wrong. I suggest you let them go."

Whumper sighed, but relented and released Whumpee.

Whumpee fell forward mid struggle.

"I'll get them. There will be a moment they won't get to you before I get them", Whumper grinned, "I swear it, even if I have to bother hero."

"Hero won't help you. They can't stand you. Hero runs charities for these people you pick at", Villain stated, "that is one thing me and Hero agree on, and I donate often to their organizations."

Whumpee had backed away from Whumper by now and was rubbing the area Whumper had grabbed.

"Whumpee, come inside", Villain ordered, and stepped outside to let Whumpee through the door.

Whumper frowned.

"Get off my property", Villain stated coldly, "you're not needed here."

"I'll get them, I'll get all of them and rid this city of pest", Whumper grinned evilly, and pointed at Whumpee who was only partially visible behind Villain, "and I'll start with that one."

Chills ran down Whumpee's spine.

Villain glared at Whumper, "and I will make sure you pay for it.... get off my property", Villain closed the door.

"I'm sorry Villain", Whumpee shook, "I didn't know what else....", Whumpee wiped their face.

"Hey its okay, as I always say, you are welcome here anytime", Villain led them down the hall, "how about you stay here for a few days, or honestly however long you need and want. I'll take care of you, you know that."

"I know, but I feel like I bother you", Whumpee hugged themself and looked at the ground while they walked, "I don't want to be in the way. I also feel bad for the others in my situation who don't have you to turn to. They have to deal with Whumper, especially if I'm not on the street to keep him off of them."

"As honorable as that sounds, you being a decoy for the others is not a good thing to do", Villain stopped as they had gotten farther into the house part of their headquarters, "there could be a chance you don't make it to me, and that's dangerous for you."

Whumpee nodded knowingly.

"Of course I refuse to tell you what to do as it's your life, but my advice is, stay here. You'll be safe and taken care of", Villain smiled, "you'll be part of my family."

"But what about the others? Whumper will just pick someone else", Whumpee sighed, "they aren't safe."

"That's for us to worry about", Villain grinned, "go into the living room, let's get you some food."

"Okay", Whumpee smiled weakly, "wait, you said us?"

Villain walked away, but pointed at the living room.

Whumpee poked their head into the room.

"Hero?", they gasped.

"Hey Whumpee", Hero laughed with a sheepish grin.

"What? Why are you here?", Whumpee walked farther into the room, "aren't you two enemies."

"Well yes, except for the subject of our troubled citizens. We both work together and try to help all of you as much as we can", Hero sat back, "I'm glad you got away from Whumper, I can't stand him, and I'm working on getting him removed and taken care of."

Villain walked in carrying a plate and cup, "here you go Whumpee.

"Thankyou", Whumpee took the things, and sat down.

Hero and Villain talked about a few more things before looking at Whumpee.

"What was the name of the shop you were at?", Hero frowned.

"Kay's Mini Mart, the convenient store on twelfth", Whumpee looked down, "I never went there before today, and I don't think I'll go back near it."

"I know that place", Hero nodded, "I always thought the owner was nice. I understand they were trying to protect their property, but they didn't give you a fair chance."

Whumpee nodded, "I'm not mad at them, I understand, but not all of us out there.... they just don't understand how the streets are... it's, it's hard. We don't want to steal, that's a last resort for most of us, but we also don't want to starve. It hurts to starve sir. Not everyone has someone to turn to either. We appreciate your shelters, but there's honestly not enough of them, no offence."

Hero nodded, "none taken, and I know. I promise more are coming as I get the funds."

Villain turned to Whumpee, "you would probably know. Where should the next one go, that's why Hero is here. We were talking about this when you knocked", Villain pointed at a map, "this is our city map, everywhere marked has a shelter either from Hero or a different organization."

Whumpee pointed right at a spot with out even thinking, "there", Whumpee sighed, "there is a heavy suicide rate in this area, and there is no hope for anyone there, or so it feels", Whumpee looked at Hero, "everyone in that area is pleading to whoever they believe in for a shelter. It's a tough place though, that's why there isn't one yet."

Hero smiled at Whumpee, "I promise that will change."

Whumpee yawned, then nodded tiredly at Hero, "they will be so happy to have you there."

Villain pulled a blanket from the back of the couch and covered Whumpee.

"I'm sorry, I'm tir....", Whumpee sighed and dozed off.

"I see Whumpee occasionally in the shelter, then they disappear for a while, and I get concerned", Hero looked at Villain, "is this a normal occurrence for them to run right to you like this?"

"A few years ago, I was wandering through town getting a few things. I rounded a corner just in time for Whumpee to run into me" Villain sat back, "I still remember their face, both apologetic and scared."

"What happened?", Hero listened with interest.

"They were new to the streets, and had gotten in a bit of trouble", Villain grinned, "law enforcement had chased them down the street for a few minutes before I showed up. Long story short, I claimed responsibility for them. The officer believed me and let them go with a warning."

Hero glanced over at Whumpee, who was snuggled into the blanket, happily snoring.

"They stay on the streets because of Whumper, they know they can run to me for shelter, and I will put Whumper in his place. Whumpee says it keeps Whumper off of the others", Villain frowned, "they stay here from time to time. They know full well, that day, I did indeed take full responsibility for them. I only wish they would stay here fully so I know they're safe."

Hero smiled, "so Villain does have a soft spot?"

"I always have a soft spot for homeless and struggling people", Villain sighed, "but yes, Whumpee has earned a special place in my heart."

Whumpee opened their eyes a bit later and looked around, Villain had turned on the television and was watching the news.

"Well, sleepyhead finally wakes up", Villain chuckled.

*Yawn*, "H-how long have I been out?", Whumpee looked around, "where's hero."

"You've been sleeping for a few hours", Villain grinned, "Hero had to leave, he had some work to do. He told me to behave tonight so he can do something."

Whumpee grinned.

"So I'm being good", Villain sat back, "he said to watch the news."

They both turned when Hero suddenly appeared on the screen. He was in an interview.

From the news:

Interviewer: "So why did you make this arrest?"

Background video showed Whumper being arrested and led by police and hero.

Hero: "I've been watching this officer, Whumper, for a while now. He has been a big terror to our homeless citizens since he received his badge. I just witnessed him threaten one of their lives. I do not feel safe and trust the safety of all of our citizens to this power hungry individual."

Interviewer: "Speaking of the homeless situation, did we hear you will be starting another shelter in a tough side of town?"

Hero: "Yes, I am very excited to start this one. I hear that this is a bad side of town, and no other shelters have been able to go in there. I hope to change that."

Interviewer: turns to the camera. "Hero is going to need help. Here is a link if you want to donate to his work with the homeless and others struggling. We will report more on Officer Whumper once we have more information. Goodnight."

Whumpee's jaw dropped the moment Whumper was being arrested, then stayed open through the entire interview.

"Well I guess I'm glad I stayed home", Villain chuckled, "I would have missed that, plus, it may not of happened."

Whumpee nodded.

"So with that then, Whumper is hopefully going to prison. Can you please just stay here?", Villain pleaded, "you will not be in my way at all, and I'd be happy if you stayed. I'd know you were safe. You keep giving me gray hair."

"Are you sure you want me to stay here?", Whumpee giggled.

"Yes", Villain groaned dramatically, "yes yes a hundred times yes."

"Okay, I will be happy to stay with you", Whumpee continued to laugh.

"Finally", Villain through their hands up in celebration.

"I have a home", Whumpee whispered as they realized more of what that meant.

"A home. A family", Villain smiled, "I am so happy you finally said yes."

Whumpee smiled, "thankyou so much."

"You're welcome", Villain smiled wider, "thankyou."

Taglist. As always please let me know if you want to be added or taken off of the list. It's not a problem at all.

@villainsandheroes @the-beasts-have-arrived

@sacredwrath @porschethemermaid

@monarchthefirst @generic-whumperz

@bloodyandfrightened @freefallingup13

@notpeppermint @cyborg0109

@idontreallyexistyet @painfulplots

@whumpbump @everythingsscary

@skittles-the-whumpee @expressionless-fr

@theforeverdyingperson @legendarydelusiongoatee

@candleshopmenace @whumpanthems

@lavndvrr @ivymyers

@starfields08000 @a-living-canvas

@lumpofsand @watermeezer

@indigoviolet311 @whumpy-mountains

@3-2-whump @risk606

@electrons2006 @paperprinxe

@whumprince @kaz-of-crows

@mis-graves @decaffeinatedtimetraveler94

@sausages-things @ragin-cajun-fangirl

@isikedmyself878 @daffyduckcommittedtaxfraud

@valravnthefrenchie @glennemerald

@jasperthecapser @does-directions

@deafeninglittlecrown @jumpywhumpywriter

[chiropteracupola]

a wee dormouse perkins for @aranov!

[blackjackkent]

Some more Lighthouse conversations to set up for our last set of companion recruitments!

-----

First, checking in with Harding about our dragon hunter.

Harding seems to have done some nice things with her little room; she has a tent area set up and most of the plants are alive now!

"So I put the word out for dragon hunters," she says as Helena walks in. "And I've heard back about someone who might work."

Helena comes to a halt in front of her with a questioning look.

"It's a woman named Taash from a group of Rivaini treasure hunters called the Lords of Fortune," Harding goes on.

Helena purses her lips. She's never been to Rivain, nor does she know much about it; she wonders how much occasion its treasure hunters have to fight dragons. "Sounds... promising," she says slowly.

Harding nods. "An agent for the Lords said that Taash is working on a mission for them along the Rivain coast. If we help her, she'll be free to join us and fight any blighted dragons the gods throw our way."

"What do you know about what's going on in Rivain right now?" Helena asks while she chews on this.

Harding shrugs. "Not much more than you do," she says. "Varric and I never went there while hunting Solas. The Qunari were on pretty good terms with Rivain, but that was before the Antaam military broke away from the rest of the Qun. I wouldn't be surprised if the Antaam invaded Rivain like they did Treviso and eastern Tevinter."

Helena nods slowly. "All right. Guess we'll be ready." Hopefully none of them have gotten the tentacle treatment we saw in Treviso yet... "I hope someone can," she adds in a lower voice. "We don't want to fight another dragon without help."

"Time to find out if the crossroads can get us to an eluvian in that area," Harding says. "We'll head out whenever you're ready."

-----

Next over to Davrin who has a new side quest for us!

First, though, an INCREDIBLY IMPORTANT DEVELOPMENT directly outside his room, which is that WE CAN PET ASSAN!

There are several different petting animations, all of which are adorable.

Best griffon puppy.

OK, Davrin, let's chat.

"Rook - I was thinking of taking Assan for a walk. He could use the exercise, a chance to stretch his wings. Thought you'd like to come along."

Aw. :D I love that even though Davrin totally did not sign up for this job he is all over doing it to the absolute best of his ability.

We'll pick up this side quest after the last two recruitments.

-----

Last stop - Bellara, who has been looking into Fade experts.

"Okay, Bellara!" Helena says brightly, striding into the room with a smile. "What's your lead on getting us a Fade..."

She trails off and falls into bemused silence, staring between the three figures looking at her - Bellara and her two guests. One is a tall and elegant-looking human woman in burgundy and green robes. The other...is a seven-foot-tell thing in much heavier robes of the same color; though its hands look humanoid, there is nothing but dark shadow visible under its hood or within the folds of cloth around its torso, and Helena sees moving there something that looks distinctly like smoke.

"...expert... for the... team..." she finishes lamely.

"Good evening," the woman says, sounding perfectly pleasant.

"GREETINGS," intones the behemoth, in a rumbling voice that sounds like a rockslide.

"Rook!" Bellara smiles from ear to ear, clearly pleased with her networking job. "So - we need a Fade expert. I've been writing to a senior mage who fits the part. But right now he's on an expedition, so I reached out to his colleagues to find him." She gestures to her side, indicating for the woman, and then the giant. "This is Lady Myrna and Vorgoth. They're necromancers. Mourn Watch ones, I mean."

Myrna nods gravely at Helena. "Your friend's request for a Fade expert was urgent. How darksome are things outside Nevarra?"

Helena blinks. Then blinks again. She glances at Bellara, then at Myrna, then at the giant hulking shape of Vorgoth, then back at Myrna again.

"About... a six?" she quips, offering the necromancer her best cheesy grin.

"I see," says Myrna, her face not betraying the slightest hint of amusement. "Bellara's correspondent is Professor Emmrich Volkarin. A Fade expert and powerful psychagogue."

"YOU WILL NEED HIM," rumbles Vorgoth, his voice rattling the floorboards.

"Where can I find him?" Helena tries to mimic the woman's sober demeanor, desperately battling the urge for a nervous, strangled giggle.

"The professor is currently delving the Shrouded Halls in the Grand Necropolis," Myrna says gravely. "We will grant you passage to look for him." Her eyes narrow soberly. "Ware the dead. Lately, they grow restless."

Oh, thinks Helena. Good. As if we didn't already have enough to worry about.

-----

"What... exactly was that?" she asks Bellara weakly, when the two necromancers have walked out into the courtyard.

"I know, right?" Bellara says enthusiastically, turning to fiddle with a small magical whatsit near her cot. "So few people are willing to be helpful for us like that!"

"Not quite what I meant," Helena says dryly. "The giant smoke man."

"Ohhhhh." Bellara pauses, thinking about that, and then shrugs cheerfully. "No idea! But I'm sure he's quite nice when we get to know him!"

Helena laughs softly. "Oh, I've no doubt of it."

[heloflor]

So like I said in a previous post I’ve been kind of obsessed with Cosmo being op as all hell, and after the baby ban stuff it got me thinking about the different types of magic fairies have and how not all magic is accessible for all fairies and also how powerful each fairy we know is.

So here are my ideas for how fairy magic works + how powerful the fairies we know in the og show are, since I’ll be honest I didn’t really think much about the ones introduced in New Wish (4.5k words below):

Ok so first off, all fairies naturally produce magic which then courses through their bodies. This magic is used by their bodies to just function in their everyday lives, maybe being what allows them to float, teleport and shapeshift without using their wands (yes I know in the show when the Big Wand is off fairies can’t do any of those things anymore but shhh).

However while all fairies need about the same amount of magic to function, not all of them produce that amount of magic. As a result, those who produce more than average end up being more powerful due to having some “leftover” magic to use, while those who produce less end up weaker than average. More on that when explaining the types of magic.

This is also why baby fairies are so powerful. A fairy would produce the same amount of magic their entire life, but since babies are smaller their metabolism would require less magic to function, thus leaving the baby with a lot of leftover magic to use.

On that note, I could see all fairy babies being born powerful up until their terrible two, which for the vast majority of fairies is their last large outburst of raw magic. After the terrible two, as the baby fairy’s body grows, their magic starts to reduce.

Now I guess technically it would mean that they’re still stronger than average by the time they’re 8-9 years old, but I actually prefer to think that a fairy considerably loses their power between 3 and 6 years old, so by the time they’re a preteen you can gauge pretty well how powerful they’ll end up being.

This probably makes less sense when taking into account the idea of their body needing less magic when smaller, but screw it I prefer to think children fairies are already almost at the same level of power as their adult selves. Heck maybe that loss comes from their body transitioning from ball-shaped to regular-shaped.

Oh and a fairy’s power is due to genetics with a hint of randomness to it. Usually a child’s power will be either based on one’s parent or a middle ground between both, but you get some rare exceptions with a fairy being born particularly powerful/weak. Though you could argue that last possibility might come from a grandparent or more distant family member.

Now for the magic itself, I see four different types:

1. Wand Magic. This one is the most straightforwards and the one every single fairy can use. A fairy is given a wand powered not by them but by the Big Wand, and as a result they can use it regardless of their own magic. That being said, I could see fairies with more magic ending up having some of it mixing with their wand, thus causing them to do more powerful spells with ease. Also why fairy babies are powerful.

On that note, since we see in the show Cosmo and Wanda getting tired at the same time when doing a lot of wishes, I could see it as either Cosmo using more magic than Wanda thus making them exhausted at the same time, or doing X amount of spells/wishes will make you tired regardless of your amount of magic. I think I like the former more.

And as to why fairies get tired when using Wand Magic despite said wand holding the magic used, I could see casting a spell as still requiring some effort from the fairy, the wand doesn’t do all the work. Adding this in case it needs to be said.

2. Emotion Magic. For this one I like to think that there are two types, depending of the fairy’s strength. The first type, which everyone except fairies with below-average magic can do, it to have their emotions influence their spells. If a fairy is angry when trying to conjure something dangerous, it will make the spell easier. But if they’re sad, it will make the spell harder. Stuff like that. This is also what we see in “Battle of The Dimsonnian” from New Wish with Peri making a giant cupcake when angry. I could see the “giant” part being an accident due to him letting his emotions go to his head (notice the purple glow around his wand when making the giant cupcake).

The second type is what we see Poof do in “Fairly Oddbaby”, with him having the ability to make things appear and disappear depending on his mood. I could see this type of emotion magic as something only fairies stronger than average can do. And the stronger they are the easier it is to use, which also means the strongest fairies need to be careful with their emotions sometimes.

Then again I could see them capable of feeling a strong emotion all the while blocking the part of them wanting to tie that emotion to their magic. So unless they really lose control or don’t have a good grasp on that separation between magic and emotion, it’s not that big of a deal.

3. Inner Magic. This one was originally based on Poof’s terrible two but this is actually something the Fairy Council does as well. But yeah basically in the show you see some rare instances of characters using magic without a wand, with their hands having a glow around them. I like to think that this is basically a fairy tapping into their own “leftover” magic, being able to do everything a wand could do without needing one.

This would be by far the strongest type of magic but also the most rare, as only about 50-100 fairies would have enough “leftover” magic to use it effectively (the number of fairies capable of doing it depends on how many citizens Fairy World actually has. If it’s like a thousand, then only like 15 fairies can use it if not less. If it’s a million, about 100 or less can. It would be really, really rare). Well I guess every single fairy has access to it during their early years, but once they get past their terrible two, it’s gone.

And because it’s so rare, and also because I see the Fairy Council as self-centered who care more about their own self-preservation than the safety of the fairies and as a result feel threatened by the fairies stronger than them, Inner Magic wouldn’t actually be taught. The fairies capable of it would simply be told that it’s very dangerous “especially since you never learned how to master it!” and that they need to never use it. Only wand magic for your overpowered freaks that we definitely would not want to kill if we had the ability to do so without losing support or causing a riot that would make us lose our stand as leaders of Fairy World!

And fun fact, this and the next type of magic are the reason why I went with the idea of “fairies produce magic and the more they produce the stronger they are”.

4. Residual Magic. This one is based on “Nectar Of the Odds” and “Crocker Shocker” (ignore the Crocker lore for this one it sucks) in which Cosmo specifically has particles of magic being taken out of him which can then be used to infuse other stuff with magic. Then I saw “Mooooving Day” in which yet again Cosmo specifically is able to put magic in a drink. Also after watching “Abra-catastrophe” I couldn’t help but compare the cupcake to Cosmo’s socks nectar and sparkling drink.

(If I had a nickel for every Fairly Oddparents episode revolving around a drink spiked with Cosmo’s magic which also featured an underground slave cave and Doug Dimmadome is there for some reason, I’d have two nickels, which isn’t a lot but it’s weird that it happened twice, right?)

So yeah long story short the idea is that, when a fairy is particularly powerful, their body has so much “leftover” magic that you can basically scrap it off of them without hurting them. And that magic could be used to create magical artifacts such as the cupcake from “Abra-catastrophe” (and while this isn’t how it would actually happen it’s kind of cute to imagine Cosmo helping craft Timmy’s cupcake with his own magic).

This type of magic would be less rare than Inner Magic but still pretty rare, at least in order to get a lot from a fairy. Like some fairies who are stronger than average but not part of the “elite” would likely have Residual Magic but to a very small and limited amount. It might also be harder to collect as a result, having to meticulously scrap it off every piece of clothing or scrub the fairy’s body to get it.

On that note, I like to think that every time a fairy with Residual Magic changes clothes, they would wring out their previous ones on top of a container to collect the magic particles and then have it sent to some Fairy manufacturing place that uses it for magical artifacts.

Lastly, given its use here, Residual Magic is capable of granting rule-free wishes. This is why in “Nectar Of the Odds” one kid has their dog show up (from the kid’s phrasing the dog was likely dead and I don’t think you can revive things according to Da Rules?) or why Dale Dimmadome doesn’t get brought back to the nectar stand after Timmy turns 18 (granted this could also be because it technically wasn't one of Timmy’s wishes so it might work independently, but then again it means the wish should’ve come undone after Dale turned 18 so yeah either way it being rule-free works better).

And between the possibility to take it straight from a fairy and it granting rule-free wishes, Residual Magic would be considered the most high-risk type of magic, and powerful fairies who visit the earth need to be careful not to let their clothes hang around or ruffle their hair for too long.

Finally, a word about all the fairies we know in the show and how powerful they are:

- Cosmo: I see him as the third strongest fairy in all of Fairy World. It seems like a ridiculously high ranking but you gotta remember that according to “Fairly Oddbaby” fairy babies are notorious for being incredibly powerful, yet Cosmo was still too much to handle to the point of banning all babies.

So I think it’s fair to say he’s part of the top 5, at least top 10 strongest fairies. And he’s not the n°1 strongest fairy for me because I don’t like “chosen one” type characters ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also someone needed to have enough power to step in during Cosmo’s Terrible Two before he destroyed all of Fairy World if not the entire universe.

Also, after watching “This is Your Wish” I can’t help but see Cosmo as kind of a prodigy magic-wise, because in the kid flashbacks from that episode, Cosmo knew what he was doing. At some point he’s even capable of hitting a moving target with his wand in his mouth! And turn it into a giant dragon! That’s some serious talent!

So with that in mind I like to think he’s a natural at using magic. The issue is that the things he comes up with are dangerous, and since he has the ability to spawn it without issue he ends up causing chaos without meaning to.

Also also I saw one moment from a “Oh Yeah!” short in which Cosmo apparently messes up a wish, Wanda points it out and Cosmo reacts by looking at his wand and saying “I need to get that fixed”. Likewise in the first episode of New Wish when Cosmo struggles to aim at Hazel and turns the whole kitchen into her, he starts hitting his wand while asking “Why can’t I work this thing?!”

With that in mind, I like to think that this is how Cosmo usually reacts when his spell isn’t what he expected. He’s incredibly powerful, is aware of how powerful he is, and again he’s very good at magic. When he casts a spell, he knows exactly what it will create (he just doesn’t realize the consequences of it). So when his spell doesn’t work as intended, he blames the wand.

But anyways, magic-wise Cosmo can do all four, though he almost-exclusively uses Wand Magic with the occasional Residual Magic when he wants to fuck around with Timmy (I mean he’s done it at least twice).

Like all the other overpowered fairies he was told not to use Inner Magic, though I like to think him attacking Crocker at the end of “Abra-catastrophe” was him using it, the muscles did nothing other than boost his confidence. I also like to think he used Inner Magic a lot as a kid and early adult up until the Fairy Council got through to him about not using it. That or he accidentally hurt a lot of people using it at some point and was convinced afterwards seeing how much destruction he caused. That second possibility could explain him never using it unless the situation is that dire all the while having little issue messing around with Residual Magic. 🤔

As for Emotion Magic, he keeps it under control, and I could actually see Cosmo as someone who avoids being angry specifically to avoid making a mess with his magic (I mean while he does get mad at times he’s definitely someone who ends up sad more often than angry, or turns his anger into sadness).

Btw I made a long post exploring the angst side of Cosmo’s magic because as said in the intro I’m obsessed with it.

- Wanda: She’s average strength, meaning she can do Wand Magic easily and has the “first level” of emotion magic (having emotions influence spells) but everything else is blocked off. She doesn’t produce enough magic to use it without a wand or to have residuals that can be collected.

And I like to think that while she’s completely fine with her level of magic, and if anything seeing Peri and especially Cosmo struggle internally because of their powers makes her more than happy to not be powerful, it still pains her to see her family like that and sometimes makes her wish she was the op one so she could be the one carrying that burden instead of them.

On that note I like to think that if some of the strongest fairies were to talk about overthrowing the Fairy Council or at least tell them off for discouraging them from using their full magic, Cosmo might be hesitant to join while Wanda would be all for it. In general Wanda would be pretty tired of the bullshit the Fairy Council imposed on Cosmo and Peri. More on that in the baby ban post.

Lastly I could see Cosmo “sharing” his magic (not sure how exactly it would work) with her when they grant wishes together, with Wanda enjoying the feeling of it if only because it makes wishes much easier to grant compared to on her own. I could also see some cases in which, when granting a wish, Wanda mainly affects how the wish will turn out while Cosmo mostly gives the magic allowing said wish to be made, and Wanda would definitely feel satisfied upon being able to summon exactly what she wants when she otherwise wouldn’t have been able to make the wish so precisely. Meanwhile Cosmo’s more than happy to provide and trusts his wife on how those wishes will turn out.

It might also be possible that them sharing magic allows Wanda to grant wishes she otherwise wouldn’t have the power to do. For example at the end of “Fool’s Day Out” when Timmy wishes for the entire world to be covered in laughing gas, Wanda uses her wand while also lifting Cosmo’s. This moment could be interpreted as either them needing to work together to grant such a wish or Wanda on her own not being able to do it. I also can’t help but wonder if, had she been the one granting the secret wish, time would’ve started back at some point after a few years, while with a fairy like Cosmo granting that wish it was literally going to stay frozen for at least a couple thousand years. Then again in “The Same Game” (when the whole world becomes a gray blob) she’s able to reverse Timmy’s wish on her own.

(Btw this has nothing to do with this post but in “Fool’s Day Out” the April’s Fool fairy has a risk of getting “comedy backup” and now I can’t help but wonder if every fairy profession has that one condition that, if not followed, leads the fairy to explode??? But I’m just going to stay with the idea of every fairy being at risk of magical backup since in New Wish’s “Fairy For a Day” the music fairy makes a comment about “granting each other’s wishes”, implying fairies can avoid backup by granting other fairies’ wishes, it’s not just a godparents thing)

- Poof/Peri: He’s basically a middle ground between his parents, being more powerful than average to a noticeable extent but still far from the strongest. Like he’d basically be in the 20-30% strongest fairies, while Cosmo is in the 1%.

Magic-wise, he uses Wand Magic and is pretty used to both versions of Emotion Magic, though it takes some effort for him to summon things without his wand (aka with his emotions). Other than that he can’t access Inner and Residual Magics. For Residual Magic I’m not even sure if he’d even have a small amount of it.

And in regards to his wand, it is indeed a wand made to limit his magic, making him as powerful as an average fairy. And the reason why he has this wand when there are thousands of fairies just as powerful if not stronger than him is strictly due to his father’s identity. Basically the Fairy Council is punishing him for being Cosmo’s son because they’re paranoid he might become as strong as him and don’t want to deal with another Cosmo.

- Jorgen: While he’s apparently possibly the oldest fairy we know of (the whole thing about an ancient war and how all fairies looked like him back then), the more I watch of the og show the more it seems like Jorgen isn’t actually all that powerful? Like he’s definitely the strongest fairy physically, but magic-wise he’s far from being the top dog.

Ultimately I like to think that he’s stronger than average, likely to a noticeable extent, but still weaker than a fairy like Peri. Which I guess would put Jorgen in the 30-40% stronger range?

Also with him being an ancient fairy and how they were all warriors back then, I could see the fairies of his time being more powerful magic-wise than the current ones (and maybe his wand also has a few differences compared to the smaller wands, like maybe not being fully reliant on the Big Wand and requiring the holder to give some of their own magic to function or something). So Jorgen would be average for a fairy of his time, which equates to stronger than average compared to the smaller fairies.

Oh and abilities-wise he can only do Wand and both Emotions Magics (like Peri basically, just less powerful).

- Mama Cosma and Schnozmo: I like to think both of them are a bit stronger than average (they got it from Mama Cosma’s side of the family, I really like the headcanon that it’s her side that’s related to Jorgen) but not to the most noticeable extent. Like in a fight against an average fairy it’s pretty obvious they’re the more powerful ones (I mean Schnozmo was able to fight off a bunch of fairies pretty easily while Mama Cosma straight up kidnapped a mafia boss like it was nothing), but on a day-to-day basis there really aren’t any particular differences between them and most fairies. They might not even realize that they’re more powerful (they’re basically on the line right above average).

Abilities-wise this means they have the same as average fairies, meaning Wand and first-type Emotion Magics.

And yes this means that Cosmo’s power was partly due to genetics but also mainly a big part of randomness with how crazy powerful he is in comparison to them.

- Big Daddy and Blonda: They have average strength and the abilities that go with it (Wand + first-type Emotion Magics). For some reason I could see Big Daddy being slightly less powerful hence the need to be part of a mob? But also I don’t think it warrants the mafia stuff + from what we see him do with his magic he seems pretty strong (him being technically weaker than Mama Cosma can be chalked up to her being stronger than average).

- Juandissimo, Cupid, Cookie, etc: Basically every other fairy we meet would likely be average strength. Though I could see Cupid being less powerful when using a wand but the same strength as others when using his bow, on account of him being a different type of fairy. But yeah other fairies we see from time to time have average strength unless they do something hinting they might be stronger/weaker. Speaking of which:

- Dr. Studwell: I’m singling him out because after watching some episodes featuring him, he keeps getting his ass beaten and tries to avoid danger, so I could actually see him being much weaker than the average fairy. His obsession with his appearance and desire to be hot is him overcompensating for his lack of magic (note that Juandissimo being obsessed with his looks isn’t insecurity unlike Dr. Studwell, dude just loves himself and honestly good for him).

- I could also see that one fairy Jorgen bullies a lot as being weaker than average, which could be a reason for said bullying (apparently his name is Binky?).

Side note but I could see things be though in general for both very powerful and very weak fairies, the weaker ones because they’re constantly being reminded of what they can’t do which heavily lowers their self-esteem + aren’t able to defend themselves as well if needed which makes bullying easier.

For the strongest fairies, because while many would praise their accomplishments, the second they do something wrong they get deemed as too dangerous with people becoming wary around them + I could see the strongest fairies having an “itch” to use more of their magic. Like imagine if fairies have a “need” to use a certain amount of magic regularly (unrelated to the daily amount their body needs to function), for the strongest fairies that amount would be much higher. But due to the “risk” with how powerful they are, they end up using way less than their body needs them to, thus causing a sense of dissatisfaction.

- The Tooth Fairy: Given she’s taller than most fairies (and her outfit seemingly being based on Wonder Woman means she could have fought in the war) I could see her as one of the oldest fairies around, so it would be a similar case to Jorgen with her being average for her time, aka stronger than average compared to “modern” fairies.

- The Fairy Council: Now while I know they’re just fairies wearing cloaks I like to think they’re a different species altogether, meaning their magic would work differently, but I still wanted to include them since I mentioned earlier that I see them as self-centered who care about their own self-preservation above all else.

Basically, if they were to be ranked magic-wise, they would rank number 12 or 13 strongest fairy when combined, meaning there are about 11-12 fairies stronger than them as a unit. And I like to headcanon that, even with those fairies having no desire to take over Fairy World (because honestly why would they?), the Fairy Council can’t help but feel threatened by those fairies.

So yeah those four magical beings were able to find a species that respect them as their leaders (at least I believe the Fairy Council rules over Fairy World?) and they very much want to keep that position of power at all costs. Which is actually also why they don’t outright attack the strongest fairies because that would cause a riot with every fairy feeling unsafe. Plus if they miss the strongest fairies can take them out.

So with that in mind, while I don’t think they would be outright discriminatory against the strongest fairies, they definitely push that narrative that magic can be dangerous when used too much, especially Inner Magic which should never be used (you know, propaganda). So they basically guilt-trip/stress out the strongest fairies into being careful when using their magic.

On that note, I kinda implied it earlier but I could see the reason why Anti-Cosmo is the leader of the anti-fairies instead of the #1 strongest anti-fairy be that the strongest fairy isn’t all that satisfied with the system, hence why their anti-fairy wouldn’t have the drive to take over Fairy World. Not to say the strongest fairy would straight up want to overthrow the Fairy Council tho (I do have some ideas floating around that concept but I’m likely never going to turn it into a coherent story).

At the very least, I do imagine the strongest fairy having secretly taught themselves how to master Inner Magic, possibly hoping to teach it to the other fairies capable of it. Also they can’t write down their research in fear of the Fairy Council finding it out (I don’t think I mentioned it earlier but discouraging fairies from using it does include not writing anything down about it, so if a fairy has info on Inner Magic, they got it from an unapproved source). And fairies are immortal so they have the time to teach it anyways.

Finally, if I have to talk about the power of the Fairy Council, since I don’t think they’re fairies they actually don’t work on the same power basis as them, but from what we’ve seen they basically have the equivalent of Inner Magic. Which could also explain why they’d be so paranoid over fairies learning to use theirs.

And with the assumption that they came up with Da Book which directly influences the fairies’ ability to cast spells, and with them being able to prevent fairies reproduction, it seems the Council also has the ability to “modify” at least one species to their liking, possibly others. Maybe this ability to change fairies is also how they got in power in the first place if you want to go there. Hell it could even be how fairies are changed to look like the dominant species on earth. Though the Fairy Council can’t touch other species’ magic or else there wouldn’t be op fairies.

[fancyfade]

There is of course also the possibility that Dick tried to do conventionally parental stuff for Damian at first and then got utterly humiliated the first time he grounded Damian* and it had absolutely no effect and Damian snuck out immediately and he was like "NVM I give up"

*in DC holiday Special