#and I listened to their music as a coping mechanism when I was fighting to survive and now I get to joyfully listen to it and enjoy my

[madigoround]

I’m screaming I bought the ticket for the Raleigh show I’ll be going to see my favorite band for the first time in two days 😱😍

[sonego]

.

[happilykrispypirate]

The Mistake

Pairings: Mattheo Riddle x fem! Nott! reader

Warnings: Swearing, fighting, mentions of sex, every detail of a probably awkward looking makeout shesh and my shitty writing.

Summary: Pansy invited Y/n out to a local bar with Blaise, Pansy then decided it would be a good idea to invite her brother and his best friend.

A/n: This is based off of true events that have recently happened to me and I am unsure how I should process it or how I really should be feeling about it. I know how I should feel about it, but I don't. So, writing fanfic is my only coping mechanism at this point.

-

"Alright, everyone got everything?" Pansy asked as she and Blaise walked hand in hand with Y/n right next to her into the bar.

"Yeah, my brother said they would save us a table so long," Y/n said as she searched for her brother. She saw them, finally, at the way back near the bathrooms.

Good, she thought, I'm going to be spending my whole evening in there listening to Pansy rant about how annoyed she is with Blaise and how in love she is with Mattheo.

"What's up, fuckers," Y/n greeted.

"What's up, you little shit," Theo smiled as he hugged his sister.

"Hey Matt," Y/n greeted as she gave him a hug.

As soon as everyone greeted everyone, they all sat down. Y/n knew it would be awkward if she was third wheeling with Pansy and Blaise, so she's thankful her brother and Mattheo decided to join.

"So, how pissed are you two?" Y/n asked as she looked between the two boys.

"I'm good, but he's gone," Theo said pointing at Mattheo. He was staring at Pansy.

The two of them met a while back on Y/n's birthday. Even then she and Blaise were a thing, she knew it was a disaster waiting to happen.

Blaise, of course, doesn't know anything.

"As always," Y/n said laughing, and shifting uncomfortably as the seat she was sat on had to be shared by two other people.

"Y/n, I need to go to the bathroom, come with me," Pansy said as she suddenly pulled her away.

Here we go...

"I can't do this," Pansy said once they entered one of the bathroom stalls.

"I knew this would be difficult for you," Y/n said as she slid down the door whilst Pansy sat on the toilet.

"I don't want Blaise, I want Mattheo. I mean, we've been talking for hours almost every night, he makes me feel, I don't know, special?" Pansy said as she sighed and held her head in her hands.

"Maybe you should just leave Blaise, if Mattheo makes you happy then go for it," Y/n said.

"At this point, I think he might like you more than he likes me, and I'm totally fine with that, if you want to go for him, do it. As long as you're happy," She said.

"Dude, I don't even know the guy, and he doesn't know me either. Besides, I highly doubt that he'd ever want to do anything with a chubby girl who hasn't even had her first kiss yet," Y/n said, trying to make her best friend feel better, when she only made herself upset.

"You're beautiful, stop saying those things," Pansy said, "I do think I need to talk to him though."

"I'll try to get him over to the bar inside, whilst Theo keeps Blaise distracted," Y/n said, "I just hope you're sober enough to talk to him, I know you've been drinking long before you even got here."

"I'm severely tipsy," She said giggling as she headed out the bathroom.

Pansy quickly told Blaise that she was going to go pay for the drinks they'd bought so far. Y/n just disappeared to find Mattheo, he was talking to someone else.

When she finally got him away, she told him to follow her into the bar, and that Pansy wanted to talk to him.

She stood off at the side, looking at the two talking, not hearing a thing they're saying because of the music. She looked away when he grabbed her face and kissed her. Making sure that Blaise couldn't see them, and also not wanting to feel the lonely feeling that she feels whenever her friends tell her they've kissed someone.

After a few minutes, she walked back to them, "Listen, as cute as this is, we need to head back to the table, Blaise will get suspicious," She said.

"Right, Matt, you head out first, we'll come after you," Pansy said. Mattheo smiled at her lovingly before walking out.

Pansy hooked her arm around Y/n's, "Holy shit, that was the best fucking kiss I've ever had," Pansy said excitedly, only earning a light hearted chuckle from Y/n.

When they got back to the table, Y/n saw that the space where she had previous sat had grown smaller. Leaving her no choice but to sit next to Mattheo who had the whole seat to himself.

His jacket was on the table, and without thinking she laid with her head on top of her arms on the jacket.

"Oi, wake up," Theo said once he saw his sister laying on her arms.

"I'm awake you fucking dickhead," She said rolling her eyes. She noticed from the corner of her eyes that Mattheo was looking at her.

"Hey, leave her alone," Pansy said, and she just chuckled as she saw the two starting to argue.

"Wow," She heard Mattheo say when he was looking at her.

"What?" She asked confused.

"You're really beautiful," He said.

"You're really drunk," She said shaking her head.

"If you say so," He said causing her to roll her eyes.

"Focus on one girl, please, I'm not worth it. Focus on Pansy," She said.

"I'm trying to but, Blaise is getting in the way. I mean look at her, she's beautiful, but it's a big turn off that Blaise is with her," He said rather loudly.

Blaise heard this and he glared at Mattheo.

"Shush, he might hear you," Y/n whispered turning to him, she didn't fail to notice how his eyes kept trailing down to her lips.

She instead turned her head to lay on his shoulder so it looked a bit less suspicious.

Mattheo then put a hand on her leg and rubbed circle's on her thighs. She didn't do anything. She knew she needed to, but she couldn't.

She then moved away from him, noticing Pansy's look.

After a while of them drinking, Y/n had moved back to her previous spot. She was talking to her brother when she saw that Mattheo was trying to tell her something. She couldn't hear him over the music so she got up and moved over to their side to sit between her brother and Mattheo.

"You okay?" She asked once she sat down.

"Yeah," he said nodded.

"Alright," She said, before yawning, "Jeez, I'm going to fall asleep."

"Now, sleep here," Mattheo said patting his shoulder.

Y/n knew she shouldn't but she remembered what Pansy had said earlier: if you want to go for him, do it.

So, she laid her head on his shoulder and he placed a hand on her thigh while he laced his other hand with hers.

"I think we're going to go and sober her up before we head home," Blaise said referring to Pansy who was way past drunk.

"Alright, I'll see you in a bit," Y/n said, pulling away from Mattheo completely, before they walked off.

"Hey, Theo, please go talk to Pansy for me," Mattheo said.

"Alright," Theo said before getting up and leaving them alone.

Y/n laid her head on his shoulder again and he rested his head against hers.

Next thing she knew Mattheo tilted his head and placed his lips on hers whilst holding her face.

What the fuck are you doing! She internally screamed at herself as she continued to let Mattheo makeout with her.

She didn't expect the tongue at first but before she knew it he swirled his tongue around hers. She didn't move her lips, unsure that if she did that she'd be doing it right.

The position he held her in was awkward and painful for her, so she pulled away from the kiss and sat up straight.

"Holy fuck," She said, "You were my first kiss."

"Let me be your next one as well," He said before attacking her lips again. The same happened this time, just as it had before.

Only this time when she pulled away he hugged her tight, he moved her hair away from her neck and started kissing her on the neck, making sure to leave a hickey.

She then quickly realised what was happening so she pulled away again.

"I can't do this to Pansy," She said as she held her face in her hands.

Mattheo put an arm around her and pulled her close. He kissed the side of her head, her cheek, her nose.

Before she knew it, he was leaning in to kiss her again. When their lips met she, for some odd reason, glanced to the side and saw Pansy looking at them.

"Fuck," She said as she saw Pansy run away. She immediately stood up, "This was a mistake."

"What happened?" Mattheo asked.

"Pansy saw us," She said.

"Shit," He said.

-The next part I wished would've happened because it would've made this whole situation a whole lot better-

Y/n quickly ran after Pansy.

"Wait!" Y/n said grabbing her arm.

"How could you?" Pansy yelled, tears running down her face.

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake," Y/n said, tears threatening to fall.

"I don't ever want to speak to you again," She spat before walking away.

Y/n took deep breaths, trying to contain the tears, when her brother walked up to her, "What happened?" He asked.

"Mattheo kissed me and Pansy saw," She said, Theo had known about Pansy and Mattheo ever since it happened, "And now I have no ride home. And my best friend hates me."

"No, you know what fuck her," Theo said, as he took the crying Y/n into his arms, "You're single, Mattheo's single and Pansy is technically in a relationship with Blaise, because they've slept together, more than once and they're always together. You're not wrong, she is."

She knew he was trying to make her feel better but she, in some way, regretted Mattheo's being her first kiss. She knew it was a mistake.

Mattheo came running to them, "What happened?" He asked.

"Pansy saw you two, and told Y/n she never wants to speak to her again," Theo said.

"Fuck, Y/n I'm so sorry," Mattheo said.

Y/n looked at him and slowly shook her head, "It's not your fault," She said, before she looked at Theo, "Can I maybe get a ride home?"

"Sure, you're just going to have to sit on Mattheo's lap," Theo said.

"Oh fuck," Y/n groaned causing Theo to chuckle.

"You're never going to live this down," Theo chuckled.

-

Y/n sat on Mattheo's lap looking out of the window. She hated the fact that her brother's car only has 2 seats. Yet she didn't mind it one bit.

Mattheo kept staring at the bruise on her neck, he felt proud of himself when he knew he shouldn't be.

He wasn't going to lie, he's liked Y/n since he met her. Pansy was a distraction, and it obviously didn't work.

When they arrived at Y/n's apartment Mattheo followed her up the stairs to her front door.

"I don't think it was a mistake," Mattheo said, catching her attention, "I've been wanted to do that, ever since I met you."

"Really?"

Mattheo nodded.

"Took you long enough," She said.

Mattheo rolled her eyes and leaned in and kissed her again.

It was a mistake at first, but mistakes make good stories, and good stories, have a happy ending.

[deprivedofbraincellsandsleep]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊Get to know me⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

(this will suck so be prepared lol)

-> general knowledge:

i have nothing in my brain: she/her: penname is zia: I can't shut up: ambivert??: new swiftie: love olivia: cancer (dont believe in zodiac signs tho): love cats: ISTP-T: lazy as hell: have the 24/7 urge to yeet myself off my balcony

-> my aesthetic(mentally):

(credits to @daydream-of-a-wallflower for the moodboard)

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊ FANDOMS⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

-> books:

harry potter/marauders era: all for the game: pjo: folk of the air: a good girls guide to murder: the inheritance games: keeper of the lost cities: six of crows: the naturals: diary of a wimpy kid (I forgot everything else I've read+I don't join the fandom of every book/series I read sooo yeah)

-> movies/TV shows:

the umbrella academy: OBX: shadow and bone: gilmore girls: jurassic franchise/camp cretaceous (no I'm not one of those fanatics that knows everything abt the dinosaurs): carmen sandiego: do all my childhood movies, shows and cartoons count?? (I rarely watch movies and shows+I've forgotten everything I have watched)

-> music:

olivia rodrigo: gracie abrams + i listen to songs from other artists but I don't listen to them enough to be a fan (++ I also listen to random songs from random artists and my playlist is a mess)

-> artists I listen to but not in a fandom: sabrina carpenter: conan gray: chase atlantic: arctic monkeys: the neighborhood: one direction: my chemical romance

the rest is all a jumble of random songs from random artists

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊MUTUALS⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

-> @alexandriasonly Ria<3 (my fanfic and cat pookie)

-> @iburntmybrotherwithdeodorant Aryaaa<3 (she's a baby😹)

-> @sophiesonlinediary Lady Sophie<3 (my honorary sister yall)

-> @lost-in-reveriie Addy<3 (my loser)

-> @pathologicalpeoplepleaser22 Hazel<3 (I'm calling u that sue me)

-> @mqstermindswift Nicky<3 (my emotional motivator and absolute sweetheart)

-> @urbanflorals Emma<3 (the one who screams lyrics with me)

-> @skeelly Kristen<3 (my baguette)

-> @art-of-fools Steph<3 (my yap twin)

-> @that-multi-fandom-hijabi Nova Artino<3 (READ RENEGADES RN IF U HAVENT CUZ THE MC HAS THE SAME NAME AS U)

Other special moots: @daydream-of-a-wallflower (Kit kat<3) @silence-between-seconds (Hey Siri™&lt;3) @urapocolypticcrush (Rose<3) @imthatweirdratinthecorner (Remy from ratatouille<3) @foaming-sea (Deep<3) @the0nlyallison (Ally cat<3)

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊OTHER⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊

-> there's literally nothing interesting abt me

-> why r u still here

-> I hate sports, very much prefer to stay inside

-> I read too much fanfiction, scroll too much on tumblr and pinterest

-> team jameson but I love Grayson, he is my pookie

-> I hate phone girl (sorry pooks)

-> I'm the biggest procrastinator in history and I have a very short attention span and reading is my coping mechanism and my comfort thing

-> I also know how to crochet but I barely do it

-> I rarely have motivation to do anything

-> I love taking sky pics

-> I LOVE stars

-> I wanna learn how to skateboard

-> I fight on here with @maxhastingsno1hater so ignore it if u see me being mean to her, shes my irl friend

-> @jamesonhawthorneisw is my irl (and only) bsf so I might be mean to her too

-> free Palestine, if u support Israel then get off my page

《 this is it for now so um I hope we have common interests and I'll try to update this when I remember more stuff or join more fandoms 》

[oleander-nin]

Hihi! I love your writing for the yan!rise turtles! I'm not sure if you take requests, but, may I request a post about the yandere turtles reacting to or interacting with a s/o who copes with the stress of their kidnapping by singing? The songs I think of would be like musical style songs like ballads that really convict emotions.

If you don't take requests that's totally fine! I hope you're having a great day/afternoon/night!

A/N, not important: This isn't as Yan as I wanted it to be, but this would literally be like, the optimal situation for all of them. If it sucks majorly, just send me another ask, and I'll edit it to make it more dark. Thank you for requesting, you literally requested like a minute before I closed them you lucky duck. If you're ever curious about requesting, you can check my pinned post which has my requesting rules linked. I recommend you always check that before requesting. I'm trying to push out as many as I can because I want to clean out my inbox before I post the 100/200 follower special. It's impressive how fast these can go once I stop being such a lazy prick. Posts are probbles gonna be a bit shorter for a while, my apologies. Any criticism is welcome, constructive or not. This is supposed to be a gender neutral reader, so if I screwed up somewhere, please tell me.

-Ollie

Tw: Themes of being kidnapped, obsessive behavior, isolation(Donnie), yandere themes, coping mechanisms

Words: 639

Summary: The Yan! ROTTMNT turtles deal with a S/O that sings to cope with being kidnapped.

Mikey:

Is intrigued.

Will usually try and hang around while you’re singing, finding your voice soothing. Even if you sound like a screaming goat, he still loves it. You’re perfect, and so is your voice.

Encourages it as well.

Not only does he love to hear you sing, but he also recognizes it as a healthier coping mechanism.

When you’re singing, even if it’s a really sad song, you’re not really fighting him or using some destructive coping mechanism. 

Has you sing while he draws. Feels it brings you both closer together, the both of you making a form of art. Yours just happens to be intangible.

Records it when he can and shows off your singing to his brothers.

Is very proud of you and your talent

Pretends it’s not a trauma response/a coping mechanism.

He is well aware that it is, but he likes to pretend it isn’t

Donnie:

Either sits you in his lab with him, or records you while you sing in his room.

Since those are the two main places you’re going to be, he’s able to almost always listen.

Plays the tapes of you singing when you are either refusing to speak to him, or he’s punishing you via isolation and is unable to listen to you in person.

If you sing more musical style songs, he will 100% try to duet with you, especially if it’s a love song.

Will just tell you to sing sometimes. If he gets overwhelmed, and needs some form of stimulation, he goes to you and just sits in front of you and demands you to sing.

Gets incredibly huffy if you refuse.

On the flip side, he can also get extremely irritated if you’re singing for too long or if it’s distracting him or something.

Will demand you either shut up or make you go into your little isolation room to sing since it’s soundproof.

Raph:

Just a friendly reminder for Raph’s before I get yelled at. You might not actually be smaller than him, or weaker than him, but he very much sees you that way.

Anyways, he finds it cute that you sing to deal with your stress.

You’re already so fragile and weak, but you sing to cope too?

Now that’s just plain adorable.

It’s just proof that you need him. Your mind is too feeble to deal with the stress head on.

You need him to take care of you, and he’s happy to listen to your little performances.

Will scoop you into his arms(or drag you towards him if you’re bigger) and hold you tight, having you sing away while you're stuck with him.

Doesn’t understand why you stopped singing after he grabbed you.

He’s only helping after all.

Leo:

Sits criss-cross applesauce in front of you as you sing.

Very much appreciates and likes it.

Mikey mentioned offhandedly it being your coping mechanism, and Leo thought it was a really pretty one.

Begs Donnie to figure out how to cleanly record your voice without you knowing.

He wanted to listen to you sing while he’s on patrol or in battle.

Like Donnie, would try his best to sing along.

Or hum along since he doesn't want to disrupt you too much.

Usually drops what he’s doing to come listen to you, gives you all his attention.

It’s unnerving, but he doesn't want to miss a single moment with you.

Especially not when he finds your voice such a gift.

Has you sing before you both go to sleep, likes to pull you close to his chest and bury his face into your neck as you do so.

Is incredibly conflicted, he wants to show off your voice to his brothers, but at the same time, he wants to be the only one to be able to hear you.

[crimxonwrites]

Billy’s girl | Eddie Munson x fem!reader part 2 - ❝ Why are you always so sad, pretty girl?❞

A/N: Part 3 coming soon-ish. Hope y’all enjoy!  !! English is not my first language!! feel free to point out any spelling/grammar mistakes. Thanks ♥

☇ summary: You are trying to get over your ex-boyfriend’s death by getting high out of your mind. Your plans fail as you realize that you don’t need drugs to forget Billy, you need someone to make you forget.

☇ warnings: drugs, sexual innuendos, sexual tension, alcohol, mentions of death, TRAUMA, bad coping mechanisms, season 3 spoilers

☇ pairings: eddie munson x fem!reader 

დPart 3

დMasterlist

As the music dies out, you feel yourself coming down from the high. The rest of the evening was spent in Steve’s car, listening to Robin and Eddie’s high conversations about everything and nothing at the same time. You lost track. Eddie kept rambling about how much he wishes his D&D games were real. If only he knew about what actually goes on in Hawkins.

Both you and Steve were quiet throughout the evening and you knew exactly what Steve was thinking about.

You and Steve bonded when you started your job at Scoops Ahoy. Sure, both of you went to the same high school, but your high school years were lonely. The only friend you had was Billy, but when he disappeared from your life, you found yourself wanting to form other connections. Platonic connections, preferably. Steve “the hair” Harrington was a good candidate, but only after you made it clear that you were not interested in dating him. You wanted to tell him about Billy, and how much you missed him that summer, but you were afraid of losing Steve.

Your summer turned upside down. Literally.

After chasing clues and Russians, you, Steve and Robin were inseparable. Trauma bonding is strong, and your summer was awfully traumatic.

“Oh, shit… the cops.” Steve’s voice brought you back to reality as he quickly turns the car engine on.

You look through the back window and spot a police car. You feel the paranoia creeping through your whole body. “Son of a bitch…” you manage to mumble.

“Oh, no, no, no!” Eddie exclaims and opens the door.

Caught in the heat of the moment, you open the car door and get out. “What are you doing?” you ask as the police sirens get louder.

“My van is close; I can’t leave it here!” he answers and takes a look at the watch around his wrist. “Are you coming?”

“Y/N, come back!” Steve rolls the car window down.

“Come on, beautiful!” Eddie’s voice echoes through your head.

Your fight or flight instincts kick in when you see the red and blue colors as the police car gets closer to Steve’s car. Of course, you follow Eddie. Eddie wouldn’t ask about Billy and he would spare the big sob story. You take his hand as you start running through the dark forest. The cold air sends a shiver down your spine, but you keep running. You run, and run, and run, until the police sirens begin to fade away.

Eddie lets go of your hand and you open the van door, hopping in the passenger’s seat.

“What’s up? First time running from the police?” Eddie asks and starts the car engine.

“Yes!” you cry and give him a concerned look. He winks in return and you let out a long sigh. “Where are we going?”

“My castle, princess.” As your heart skips a beat, you find yourself staring at Eddie, still in disbelief that you chose to follow him instead of sticking with your friends.  

Grief is a big part of the healing process. That’s what your mother kept saying. She said it after your father passed away, she said it after your dog passed away and she said it after Billy passed away but you’ve always wondered how much you have to grief in order to heal. As you got colder and colder after Billy’s death, you found yourself unable to talk about him. The idea of facing your best friends tomorrow, and explaining to them what you’ve been through is terrifying.

You’re used to mourning alone. That’s how it was and that’s how it is now.

“So, Billy’s girl?” Eddie asks as he takes a right turn, entering a trailer park.

“I really don’t want to talk about it.” You shut him down. After he stops the car, you take a look around the trailer park and finally realize why it looks familiar. Max lives here. Billy’s step sister, Max.

“Welcome to the Munson Castle!” Eddie opens the trailer’s door. “After you, princess.”

---

“So why did you choose to come with me?” Eddie rests his head on his hand, looking at you.

Eddie’s bedroom is nothing like you expected it to be. It has a lot of personality and you find it weirdly cozy. His bed is comfortable and you’re starting to get used to the tobacco smell.

“Why did you ask me to come with you?” you ask switching positions, now laying on your back on his oddly comfortable bed. You turn your head to face him, and you just know he would do anything to lay besides you. Instead, Eddie shifts in his desk chair and takes another drink from his can of beer.

Maybe not.

Maybe he doesn’t like you.

“Because you fascinate me.” He shrugs. “You’re so quiet and mysterious.”

“What?” you can’t help but laugh. “You’ve known me for half a day, Munson.” You add as you break eye contact and let your eyes wonder around the room.

“Then tell me about yourself, Y/L/N.” Eddie gets up from his chair and lays down besides you. You can’t get yourself to look at him. His body being so close makes you nervous. Fuck.

“I don’t do that.” Your answer is followed by a nervous chuckle.

“Would you like something to help you with that?” he asks as he waves a joint through the air. You try to get it from his hand. “No.” Eddie gets up and lights the joint. He takes a puff and places himself on top of you. “Open.” Speechless, you obey him just as you did a couple of hours ago, in Steve’s car. The smoke swiftly invading your lungs.

Unable to take your eyes off of him, you wonder if he will kiss you. He doesn’t. Instead, Eddie collapses besides you on the bed and sighs. “Okay!” you give up. “What do you want to know?” You lift your upper body and lean against his bedframe.

“Anything.” Your heart skips a beat when Eddie places his head on your lap. “Is this okay, princess?”

“Yes, and… can you stop calling me princess? My name is Y/N.”

“Y/N…” the way Eddie says your name makes you melt.

It makes you melt, but it also turns you on.

Eddie hands you the joint and you take a big puff. “Okay… my name is Y/N, I enjoy long walks on the beach and writing.”

“And Billy.” Eddie adds and you feel your body tense. “I’m sorry. You like writing? Really?”

“Yes.” You blow the smoke on his face and he laughs. “I like writing about things and people that don’t exist.”

“You know… Dungeons and Dragons is about things and people that don’t exist. You should join our campaign.” He smiles.

“I will consider it, just because I like your face.” You smile back.

“Ouch!” he exclaims. “Just my face? What about my personality? My company? What about all the things that I have to offer, Y/N?” Eddie asks with a very dramatic tone.

“What do you have to offer, Eddie?” you laugh.

“I cannot believe this!” he exclaims and suddenly gets up. “Lets dance.” After starting his cassette player, Eddie places the joint between his lips and grabs you by the hand.

You can’t help but laugh and join him. Your body quickly gets used to his body’s movements. As he spins and pulls you close to him, you find yourself enjoying the rock music, and most importantly, enjoying his company. You allow his hands to explore your waist and he allows yours to explore his biceps. Both of you get lost in the smoke, the music, the moment. Eddie pulls you closer to him and you rest your head on his shoulder when the songs gradually become slower. You don’t want this embrace to end. You don’t want this night to end.

“Why are you always so sad, pretty girl?” he asks. “Happiness looks so good on you.”

Why does he always know what to say? Your grip becomes stronger when you feel tears running down your cheeks. “Billy. Loss. Loneliness. Everything.” Taking a few seconds before answering, you finally spill it out.

“Oh, no, don’t cry.” Eddie mutters. Feeling his distress, you let go of the beautiful boy and pull yourself away from him. “I’m sorry, if it isn’t a good time, I-“

“It’s fine, Eddie.” You cut him off and sit on the edge of his bed. “I just… have not talked to anyone about him.” Eddie sits down beside you. “I don’t know how to.”

“You don’t have to.” He cups your face with his hands and wipes your tears.

“Senior year.” He lets go of your face. “Billy had just moved in Hawkins and I was painfully lonely.” You pause, looking at a very concerned Eddie. “My dad passed away two years prior to that, and my social skills were not the best. But that’s what Billy liked about me. I was quiet, pretty and smart. But he did not want to date me. He would take me on dates, he would take me to parties, he would drive me around…” your voice breaks as you start missing the feeling of being with Billy. “But he never made it official.”

“What?” Eddie asks with a tremendously confused look on his face.

“Billy wanted to be with me, but didn’t want to world to find out.” You continue. “Now that I say it out loud, it sounds stupid.” You force a smile. “But I loved him. I think.” You whisper the last part, hoping that Eddie did not hear it.

“Billy sounds like a bitch!” Eddie exclaims. “What man in his right mind would not want the world to find out you are his girlfriend?”

You smile. A genuine smile. You lean your head on his shoulder and smile. “Satisfied now?” you ask him.

Eddie lifts your face with his finger. “Yes.” He smiles.

You wonder for a second if he can hear your heart beat. It’s beating so fast, and you swear that your legs would give up if you weren’t sitting down. His touch is gentle and his smile is contagious. Eddie clears his throat and removes his hand, breaking the eye contact.

“Eddie…” you grab his hand, forcing him to face you. “Why don’t you kiss me?” you find yourself talking, faster than your brain can process. “You never kiss me, when you want to.”

[the-cookie-of-doom]

KimChay still happens despite Kim sleeping with Porsche. As much as they care for each other, there are no deeper feelings. This isn’t a forever relationship. It’s sex in exchange for protection that morphs into fond companionship, but that’s as far as it ever gets. 

Chay is ~14/15 when Kim joins the family. Kim is ~18. This means that while Kim is acting out being rebellious and thinking he’s more mature than he is, Chay falls into the Annoying Little BrotherTM category. And he really… doesn’t leave that mental image Kim has of him until they’re both much older, and Kim realizes oh no, he’s hot. 

But until then! Some canon KimChay things happen, like the guitar tutoring! Kim doesn’t get the chance to become Wik in this AU, but he still has his love of music. It’s his primary coping mechanism for *gestures at everything*. He nearly cries when Porsche rewards him with a guitar a few months into their arrangement. Then at some point Chay catches him playing, likes what he hears, and pesters Kim into teaching him until he finally gives in. 

Chay is also a naughty little gremlin with a cute crush on his brother’s sex slave, and maybe kind of wondering if they’re like. Exclusive? Or if it’s more of a “Kim sold himself to the family, for anyone to use” kind of deal? And if maybe he has a chance? (He doesn’t. He’s too young, he’s been firmly little-brothered by Kim, and Porsche would kill him for trying. But a guy can dream, okay? It doesn’t help that he’s seen Kim in compromising positions way too many times not to fantasize about being the one to put him in those positions.) 

Anyway. There’s the context for this scene. 

-

Chay is still turning his guitar while Kim idly strums on his own. He has a little monitor sitting on the table in front of them, flashing red and green lights to let him know when he gets it right. Kim hasn’t managed to teach him how to tune by ear yet. He hates the monitor; Kim vows to break Chay of that filthy habit eventually. 

“Who taught you how to play guitar, P’Kim?” Chay asks, in that sweet voice of his. He’s staring down at his guitar with a little furrow between his brows, carefully twisting the frets in miniscule increments. Kim’s getting frustrated just listening to it. He wants to tell the boy he’s at least two full turns off, and the glacial pace he’s taking is excruciating. 

“My brother,” Kim answers, and doesn’t say anything more, even when Chay gives a curious little hum. Of course, Chay is never one to exist in silence. 

“Do you ever miss him?”

Only when he let himself. 

“No.”

“Aow, really?” Kim nods once, tightening his grip on the neck of his guitar. He isn’t strumming anymore. “I don’t know what I would do if I left hia. I think I’d miss him so much I would die.”

“My brother and I weren’t close.” 

“You came here because of him, right? To protect him? You wouldn’t do that if you didn’t love him.” 

“You’re right, Kinn is the reason I’m here. Because of his stupid decisions. I don’t want to be here.” Kim fights to keep his voice even. He isn’t going to snap at Chay. He isn’t going to encourage this line of conversation, either. 

Chay stopped trying to tune his guitar.

“Do you hate it here?” 

Does he? 

Kim isn’t mistreated. Porsche has never once forced himself on him, and didn’t punish Kim when he killed three guards for attempting to. Porsche has held up his end of the bargain to shelter Kim from his father’s wrath. He never leaves the compound, but not because it’s forbidden; he has more freedom than he expected to, when he first offered himself to Porsche’s mercy. 

“No,” Kim eventually answers. He takes Chay’s guitar from him and begins to tune it. 

“Do you want to leave?”

“I don’t have anywhere else to go.” 

“But if you did, would you?”

“Maybe. I don’t know. I haven’t thought about it.” Kim doesn’t see the point of perseverating over something that won’t happen. These are his circumstances. They aren’t going to change. It doesn’t matter what he would do if things were different, because they aren’t. 

Chay takes back his guitar, now tuned, and stares down at his hands on the strings. 

“I’m sorry, P’Kim,” he says, standing. “That sounds like a very sad way to live.” 

Kim watches Chay leave without another word. He feels like he should call the boy back. He doesn’t. 

[system-of-a-feather]

Re-establishing Baseline Plan

Since moving, I've (completely understandably and expectedly) had my baseline kinda fucked (did not help by with financial stress + job incompatibility + ear infection + really bad post ear infection cold + probable norovirus in literally one month) and so I've been really overloaded, stressed, and just in a place of mostly survival mode where most of my energy is focused on maintaining my mental and physical state in the easiest manners possible

I have been holding up well all things considered and have set up for a probably more compatible job + my fiance has managed to get a job again that he feels will probably work out well for him and I have at least like a week off between jobs to reorientate myself

So to take a good and active effort to make the best of this time, I want to make a plan to set myself up for success. I actually do this every so often when I really need to pick myself up (historically Lucille would usually do it but pros of being basically fully integrated is that I am Lucille as well as me) and I figured it would be a neat thing to display and demonstrate here cause I'd end up making it *anyways* so why not share with the class

If anyone likes this, yall can borrow it ^^

-----

Question One: What current coping skills and hobbies am I currently doing and trying with my time? Are they affective and would I like to change them?

Art, Drawing, Character Design, Art Fight Prep, Story Planning and Writing

This is one of the easiest and most reliable positive coping mechanisms and has gotten me through the majority of the month mostly on it's own. Compared to other coping mechanisms, this one is almost always something I can drag myself to do or at least ask someone to supervise me to make sure I do it when I feel I need some sort of self care. It serves greatly as an alternative when I find that I am doing maladaptive coping that I would rather not do and when in doubt, it has access to some level of social engagement should I feel I need that. With that being said, having relied largely on this for a month, this is suffering diminishing returns and starting to lead to general lack of inspiration and so diversification from this coping mechanism would be ideal

Weekend Gym Trips

This is actually a really good way for me to release energy, give myself space and time to think, and just feel better moving and existing in my body. It also mandates time for me to listen to music and serves a meditative purpose. That said, I have only been doing this on Saturdays and only once on Sunday and I would like to expand that to be at least 3 times a week or at least more spaced out.

Reading Semi Regularly

This is a new habit and coping I picked up and its actually really good! It provides a unique sense of calm when I need it. Unfortunately I've started to drop off the past week due to general stress and illness, so I think its important to return to this. Perhaps set a general goal of "every other day" rather than every day to lessen the pressure.

Video Games

This was helpful but lately I have been not motivated to play anything and I believe its been burnt out. I think it would be good to resume this but it is currently impractical to force at the moment until overall wellness has returned.

TV with Boy

This is helpful but unforunately nothing seems to interest either of us to watch right now. (cri life is hard /lh)

Board Games with Boy

This is a new one and has actually been very nice. That said, it isn't always available and dependent on my fiance's ability to have the energy, time and interest to play them, particularly since I know he is less interested in board games than me. It is good to maintain the interest and offer, but not a coping skill to become reliant on.

Question Two: What sorts of things that I am currently not doing do I know tend to define behaviors, habits, hobbies, and interests that are done when I am out of survival mode and genuinely enjoying life?

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

Engagement in Exploration and just independent travels without individuals

Engagement and interest in occasionally reaching out to Buddhist environments

Producing art work for the story that is more developed and inspired rather than "quick" or "reference" focused - actually focusing on the creative and artistic expression rather than the practical expression

Increased social circle communication irl beyond my online bestie, fiance, and online friend group chat; reaching out to individuals and developing new irl friendships

Question Three: Which of those hobbies do I think could be the most reasonable and easy to meet sooner than later (even better if I can make steps to start that right now / today)? In what ways could I make steps to make those first changes and help set myself up for success on expanding my engagement with life beyond survival mode?

Interest in watching anything on my own, youtube, TV shows, etc

While I am not extensively motivated in any manner to watch anything in particular, I am starting to randomly get a lot of bleach related stuff on my youtube and I have been meaning to watch TYBW arc. I have been postponing it because of arbitrary "I wanna read the manga first" and just general other excuses, but realistically those are putting up barriers that I may not get to at this rate and currently I could just use something I'm somewhat interested in to give me some independent relaxing engagement. I think I can set the goal of actually watching Bleach TYBW at least an episode a day starting either today or tomorrow and see if that can bring a momentum and habit into actually being able to watch things that interest me on my own.

Engagement in Music, Particularly my Musical Instruments

I can probably actually take my violin back out. The guitar would probably be better but for whatever reason I feel that my brain thinks that would require more - for a lack of better word - work, so I think I can at least try to find time this week to at least play a little bit of my violin.

Regular Birding, Particularly with Peers + "increased social irl connection [...]"

I can reach out and text my new irl birding connections to see if they are interested; if not I can at least plan to take a birding trip later

Engagement in Buddhist Stuff

I know there is an area I've been thinking of visiting that has free english services on Tuesday, I can make plans to go there that day, particularly since my Fiance should be working for the first day then anyways.

Question Four: What are additional goals and check points that we would like to try to bring us closer to the life style that we know tends to support a thriving mental state and life satisfaction rather than one of survival?

Independent Travels

During the time I have, I can keep in mind this goal and if I have down time think of potentially interesting and alternative places to go to explore; additionally I can plan birding trips to places I have not yet checked out.

Increased Social IRL Connection

It is dependent on if my now-ex-coworker still is interested, but I can follow up and see if we want to still play board games; if not I think potential more ways to reach out will be more viable to plan once a higher level of baseline is established; potentially see if there are any in person DnD groups around that I could make a habit of going to or any martial art dojos that we can afford

More Inspired Art

I think this is something that will come with time between lessening the burn out of my current art-as-a-coping mechanism goal as well as actually engaging in more media and independent interests as to gain more inspiration.

Question Five: Summarize the Key Points and Plans Discussed in This into a Bullet Points of Take Aways

Modifying Current Coping:

Diversify and lean off of using art as a main coping mechanism; give that one a break

Attempt to go to the gym more frequently or at least space it out more throughout the week

Continue reading; lessen the ideal to every other day in case demand pressure is adversely affecting it

Keep an open interest in playing board games with fiance

Changes I Want To Make Soon:

Start watching Bleach TYBW w/ at least one episode a day

Bring out my violin and try to at least play with it for one hour this week

Reach out to new bird peers to see if they want to plan a birding trip sometime, if not then plan one independently

Make plans to go to that place on Tuesday for the open Buddhist service

Changes to Keep an Eye Out For:

Opportunities to go somewhere new randomly for no particular reason or goal in mind other than to just see whats around us

Spoons and time availability to see out places to expand our irl social circles

Inspiration for art in general

Question Six: Set for Regular Follow Ups to Check Progress

Isn't tumblr's queue / schedule function super neat for this

[sinon36]

Ghost x undercover!reader (HC) Part III

warnings: violence, blood, mistakes, badly written British speech, smooth Ghost

P.S. I loved Frenchie from The Boys and I just couldn’t help myself. Apologies 😊

Part I Part II Part III Part IV Part V Part VI

- the third time you meet is in the small briefing room, you sit next to one another, in silence, eyes forward waiting for your MI6 handler begin his presentation

- the plan is similar but this time you’ll have a gun on you, that thought brings a little more than a smidge of comfort; when you make contact with the supplier and confirm that the merchandise is legit you give the sign: three nods, as natural as possible; at that alpha team and bravo team will breach

- you stand up for everyone to see what you’re wearing, cream coloured jacket and light blue jeans, you picked it yourself and you explain that you’ll be more visible to them among the black clothed guards

- when contact is made your job is to get out of dodge, because everyone expects a fight and you aren’t dressed in protective gear to survive being caught in the middle; you’ll make yourself scarce thus not even giving the impression of association with the black ops teams; just a coward that runs away at the first signs of a fight desperately trying to save their skin; this will save the work you’ve done in creating this fake persona for later use

- the hours before the mission gives you a déja-vu feeling: you read, he listens to rock music; you raise your head from the notebook and motion for him to take of the headphones; he obliges

- ‘Why rock?’ you seek the useless information, not from curiosity but a weird need of talking to him

- ‘Pumps me up…’ that’s what you expected of him, you know heavy metal is used in boot camp training to simulate the chaos of battle, when hearing is no longer a dependable sense and one must rely on his vision, gut feelings and training; it’s something he’s familiar with you conclude

- you ask permission to listen for a bit and he allows it, handing you the headphones; you place them on your head and listen to the disharmonic sounds emanated straight into your eardrums; you close your eyes and bob your head to the rhythm getting lost in the screams of the vocalist

- a hand firm on your bicep startles you; Ghost is tilting his head towards the door; you turn and see a general; in a swift move you are up, headphones thrown on the couch where you just sat; you don’t salute as you are not part of the army but you are straight as a plank in utmost respect to the new comer

- the general to you about your achievements so far and that keeping up with the work we’ll get you very far very quickly in the hierarchical structure; you reply that you like your work and wouldn’t give it up for a boring desk job; he chuckles and with a ‘Have it your way, agent’ he turns and leaves you two to your pre-mission coping mechanisms         

- Ghost smirks even more ‘A woman of action this one’ he comments, you turn eyes glinting in mischief, smirk unknowingly mirroring his ‘Bloody right’ your answer is met with a small chuckle

- ‘Would murder for a cuppa…’ you utter with a sigh

- ‘Understood’ he disappears out the door without missing a bit and you are left smiling to yourself like little schoolgirl

- in the car, you go over the plan one more time, you check the gun and the two magazine Ghost gives you; the Glock feels comfortable in your hand but its weight does little to ease your mind; you’ll be alone, surrounded by tangos, and now there is a new variable: the supplier and his men; they might open fire at the slightest misinterpretation of words, or worse, they might try to cross you over an try to kill your party and get away with the money

- everything is accounted for as much as not knowing the rendezvous location allows

- he makes sure to reassure you insisting on his position in relation to yours, in your made-up chess board scenario ‘I’ll look for yer’ you nod

- everything you’ve been through repeats like clockwork, this time the drive is longer; your gun is taken from you, and you feel your legs numbing from disuse where you sit on the hard van floor

- at your destination you get shoved around and put in the back seat of a limo; in front of you the buyer; you ask for your gun, motivating you won’t go win ‘without proppa protection this time ‘round’; he promises to give it to you when you get there

- he asks about you and your motivations behind switching sides; you tell him the fabricated story, how you got fucked twice, once by your commander and once by the government, when they threw you out without any means of survival while your commander got a pat on the shoulder and a laugh at another ‘young score’

- he understands a tells you a little bit by his motivations; you’ve heard this kind of talk and your sick of it, but you empathize with his hate for the British Government; he discloses to you that soon he’ll hit them hard, and all thanks to you, like being in league with him is something to be proud of; human filth

- after a short ride you get there, wherever that is, you don’t care; it’s just another job; your handgun is returned to you ‘a sign of good faith’ and you check that not even a single bullet is missing not as inclined to trust

- you are led to another warehouse this one filled with crates and random things strewn around; you are met with a gang of thugs, definitely not trained to properly hold a gun, or fight for that matter; you regard them with the superiority of an expert in guns and explosives, which is not an idle affirmation; you do in fact know what you’re doing not just faking it; the only thing that’s fake is the story behind it, the skill is there

- the supplier introduces himself as ‘Frenchie’ his French accent quite obvious; you request to se the merchandise; he comments to his thugs about the lack of manners in the British Isle; you stare him down unphased; he laughs;

- the buyer backs you up, voice demanding, reasoning along the lines of ‘pressing matter’ and ‘time sensitive issues’; Frenchie takes you to the back where crates full of C4 and more professional equipment, far superior than what you had to work with; everyone awaits your verdict in silence; you approach the crates to take a better look, and scrutinizing everything, though there is no need

- this is the real deal, military grade equipment, syphoned from somewhere where command is lax or corrupt; everything is brand new, though there is no flag, no insignia to indicate their origin

- you prepare yourself for the incoming breach; the signal this time a loud whistle of appreciation followed by a ‘got some hell of a gear ‘ere, huh?!’; Frenchie does not get the chance to brag about it as windows shutter, tear gas canisters fizzle, doors burst, shouts are heard, bullets start flying

- you duck and move to the side away from the crowd of thugs that try to return fire in vain as they fall like flies in a cacophony of screams and shouts of pain and terror

- you find the nearest door and burst out coughing having inhaled the bloody tear gas yourself; devilish contraptions you hated with a passion from your days in the academy when you first had tasted it; but as you struggle to regain your breath and get as far away without seeing where you are going a shadow follows close to you

- as your breath settles to a more manageable pace you hear a gun click and you slowly raise your hands in surrender; you turn around slowly as per the buyer’s demands; he clicks his tongue and wonders what a coincidence that black ops bust the deal right after you confirm the merchandise to be legitimate; you don’t deny it and he takes a step closer putting the gun to your head; but he takes to long to shoot you feeling more preoccupied with the villain discourse

- a gun shot is heard and he drops dead; wide eyed you watch as Ghost struts to you rifle shouldered in a professional manner and his figure the epitome of a perfect stance; he gives you a look over checking for any stray bullets you might have caught in your hasty exit

- and with a nonchalance at corpse that paints red the asphalt at your feet he calls in the kill over the radio

- the rest is a flash, you get checked by a combat medic for any signs of wounds, he dismisses you when he finds none, and your escorted away from the scene and to a black SUV to take you away to HQ now that your job on the field is done

- Ghost finds you again right as you climb in the back; he holds the door with one hand and the other is casually placed on the hood right above your head as he leans his tall frame to talk to you; but you beat him to it and a quick and sincere ‘Thank you’ escapes your lips

- ‘We even then, love’ he says quickly slamming the door shut; the first thing that catches your attention is the pet-name he used that makes the tip of your ears feel hot; and then his words hit you; you’re confused and a ‘What did ‘e mean by that’ escapes your mouth without volition

- ‘Huh’ the driver turns to you ‘You ok ma’am?’ he asks in mild concern; you didn’t even notice him, a young pale blond blue-eyed private regards you in confusion; your meagre answer comes in the form of ‘Yeah…, peachy. Just drive.’ A far away look takes over your face ‘Yes. Ma’am’

- you smile in thought; you’ll have to seek him out to ask for clarification; smooth bastard.

Previous part here.

Next part here.

[fantasy-mixtapes]

Kristen Applebees S3 Playlist: Side A

Here's Part 1 of Kristen's Junior Year Playlist, I am obsessed with it so far and will probably continue to be. Descriptions and key lyrics below. Spoilers for Episodes 1-10

Genres include: Pop-Punk, Alternative, Punk, Folk

1. Lavender Bones, Stand Atlantic

I know I'm out of my depth, but I just float in it I try to do my best, stop picking fights with it I wanna be upset, you're not alright with it I can cover it up, I can cover it Try to speak my mind, wish it was by design But I can only confess to having doubts with it Don't wanna feel regret, I'm not alright with it I can cover it up, I can cover it

So this is a perfect background music for the start of a movie about Kristen's life right now and I LOVE finding those songs. It's perfect on so many layers, it talks about feeling trapped, wanting to fix empty habits, and not to mention how "lavender bones" really hits home to my queer little heart. This entire playlist is really a game of guessing when the "you" in songs chosen mean Tracker and when they mean Cassandra, level: impossible

2. Starchild, Sweet Pill

What do you want from me? I am not a charity Work hard at everything Do it all for free What do you want from me? I am not a guarantee Go all or nothing Lose your money ... Set up to win Wind up disappointing everyone In the end I am disappointing mostly myself In the end Hang your Head

I AM SO NOT NORMAL ABOUT THIS SONG Guys its like it was written for this very specific situation. AND THE TITLE???? FOR A CLERIC OF THE GODDESS OF MYSTERY, DOUBT, THE NIGHT, AND STARS???????

anyways just please please listen to it its so great like even without the connection to Kristen, go support Sweet Pill they have a new album being released tomorrow (March 15th)

3. Uneeda, Deady

What about the bones The bones have no problem Turn them into ash And this never happened Your ashes big asses Your brains on the pavement Oh no! I can feel myself rot Unless I take your hand

Ok so this is kind of a genre outlier on the playlist since it is very very alt punk but for me it represents the rage at the mall, Kristen's relationship to Cassandra, and both of their respective reactions to what happened. It's very chaotic, but it was a very chaotic situation and I stand by it plus I love adding modern bands to things

4. Bite the Hand, boygenius

I can't hear you You're too far away I can't see you The light is in my face I can't touch you I wouldn't if I could I can't love you how you want me to I can't love you how you want me to

Yeah, sorry had to whip out the queer break-up big guns. I don't feel sorry I feel right.

5. Untitled God Song, Haley Heynderickx

When you're drunk near a sunset, look straight in her eyes She's a quick glimpse of heaven, forgetting her headlights are on When you misread her fortune, don't misread the joke She's the note on your lampshade, the honeycomb holdin' you And she spins me around like a marionette Oh, my web is still spinnin' My web is still spinnin', you can't see it yet

Immediately going from having total contact with a divinity figure to having to grasp for straws once again to a memory you hold onto, literally holding onto the shards of your faith. Having to both embrace doubt and faith at the same time. Girlies, I'm ruined

6. C'est Comme Ça, Paramore

In a single year I've aged one hundred My social life a chiropractic appointment Sit still long enough to listen to yourself Or maybe just long enough for you to atrophy to hell ... I know that regression is rarely rewarded I still need a certain degree of disorder I hate to admit, getting better is boring But the high cost of chaos Who can afford it?

I love Kristen, and I think her arc this season is extremely relatable; currently, 90% of what she does are bits, and I KNOW it's a coping mechanism, but STILL, WHY ARE YOU SO MESSY. I love you; keep being 17, but god, keep your clothes on and stop going to the steel plants girlie you're gonna give Riz a heart attack

[justsomeoneintoomanyfandoms]

Hello! May I get some headcanons for Honkai Star Rail (Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt, Jing Yuan, and Blade) for a shy!s/o who when they sing can manipulate the environment around them?

Usually, in combat, they hum very quietly as a boost, but when their alone and singing with their heart its as if the universe itself bends to their will? (Like if they're singing a song while feeling bittersweet and reminiscing on memories, projections of said memories will appear.) Essentially, the more that the song matches with the passion reader has with their performance ((humming -> singing (while still) -> full on preforming)) , the stronger the effect is, enough to influence (on a subconscious and concious level) and power boost an entire army to their desires.

The power comes at a cost of a decline in mental stability becoming depressively manic (think like no-self preservation, unhealthy-coping mechanisms, and crying while laughing hysterically) due to the exhaustion resulting from its strain. Due to its effects and the fact that the reader genuinely enjoys singing, they have extremely good control over these powers and only sing in front of people they trust or as a last resort to sway the tides in battle.

Thank you! :)

-🪷

Hi 🪷Anon! Thank you for your request! This was a really cool concept! I haven't written for Blade before so hopefully I got his character right. I hope you like your headcanons!

Fandom: Honkai Star Rail

Characters: Caelus, Dan Heng, Welt Yang, Jing Yuan, Blade

Caelus loves listening to his s/o sing. He knows the effect it can have on them so whenever they sing for him, he always makes sure to listen carefully and appreciate every second.

He also loves watching the projections that appear when his s/o is singing and reminiscing. At first, he was worried it was an invasion of privacy, especially if the memories are painful or deeply personal.

But his s/o has reassured him that if they’re singing those sort of songs with him around, they don’t mind him seeing those memories.

I see Caelus as someone who has a pretty decent voice so he’d love it if his s/o would teach him how to fine tune his singing so he can join in if he knows the tune.

Gets very concerned when his s/o is fighting and opens their mouth. Of course he’ll be there for them if they need to sing and their mental health takes a downhill turn as a result, but he would much prefer it if that didn’t happen.

He’ll do whatever he can in the moment to protect his s/o so they don’t need to sing in battle.

Really good at supporting his s/o during moments of bad mental health. He hates how helpless it makes him feel when they’re crying and laughing hysterically but he’ll sit beside them and provide them with whatever comfort he can.

Dan Heng is a lot more cautious about his s/o using their power at all. He hates seeing his s/o's mental health drop after they exert a lot of power while singing so he has the mindset of it's better if they keep their singing to a minimum.

However, he won't force his s/o to stop singing. He knows they enjoy it and, as long as it doesn't hurt them, he likes listening to the hum while they're working.

Dan Heng can't deny that the archives feel more homely when his s/o is there with him, singing softly to themselves.

When in battle, Dan Heng will do his best to sway the tide before his s/o feels backed into a corner.

If his s/o does sing and their mental health drops as a result, he will take them somewhere quiet and stay with them as long as they need.

It hurts to see his s/o so depressively manic but he’ll stay by them. The last thing he wants is to make things worse but not giving them the support they need.

Welt likes music. He’s got a lot of records and is always on the look for more. So he loves listening to his s/o sing.

He probably won’t join in, even though he probably has a decent voice. He much prefers listening to music than making it. He might be persuaded to dance with his s/o though…

However, as soon as it comes to battle, Welt is doing his best to make sure no singing comes out of his s/o.

He struggles to help people when they’re emotionally unstable so no matter how much he cares about his s/o, he finds it hard to be around them. And that makes him feel infinitely worse.

So to avoid the emotional pain it causes both Welt and his s/o, it’s easier if he just helps prevent his s/o from needing to use their powers.

If it’s unavoidable and his s/o’s mental health does take a sharp downhill turn, Welt will be there for them of course but he needs to sneak out sometimes under the pretence of making sure the Star Rail is still on course.

He needs a moment to compose himself.

Jing Yuan can't help but think about the many ways his s/o's ability could be beneficial in battle the moment he finds out about it.

As soon as he finds out about the side effects though, he's going to do everything in his power to prevent them from putting themselves in that position again.

Another one who loves listening to his s/o sing. He'll probably fall asleep if it's a relaxing tune. If he doesn’t immediately fall asleep and he knows the song, he might hum along. He’s always careful not to drown out his s/o’s singing though.

Those are the best sleeps he's had in years.

In battle, Jing Yuan trusts him s/o to do what they think is right in the moment. Unlike the others, he won’t go out of his way to prevent them from using their powers.

That’s not to say he doesn’t care! Certainly not. When his s/o is suffering the negative effects of their powers, Jing Yuan is there for them every step of the way. He just trusts them to make their own decisions.

Blade seems indifferent about his s/o’s singing and he’s showing no signs of changing that tendency any time soon.

But deep down, he can’t imagine anything he likes more than their voice. The underlying understanding of trust and comfort is just as beautiful as the music itself.

To even be in a relationship, Blade would have to have a very deep and strong connection with the other person. So he’s glad those feelings are reciprocated.

He also finds the projections captivating. If his s/o looks away from the projections and spares him a glance, they’ll see that he’s completely absorbed in the images. If he gets called out though, he’ll deny it.

In battle, Blade trusts his s/o. Whether they use their powers or not, he believes they will do whatever they need to in the moment to make sure they survive.

In moments of bad mental health, Blade will just keep his s/o company. He’s not great with emotions, especially soft ones. But he’ll do what he can for the person he loves.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[jasmyluv]

Call you mine! - 5wirl you away!

previous :: masterlist :: next

Scaramouche - Dance Major. Broke ass college student, on full scholarship. Very talented in dancing, he’s entrancing when he dances. hoodies galore?!?!?!? Joji enthusiast. You will never see him listen to anyone other than Joji. He’s a mystery & action >> romance kind of guy. Will just probably ignore fans. Main dancer of 5wirl.

Kaedehara Kazuha - Creative Writing Major. Is in a band!! Always speaks in flowery language, like those words really inside your head?? Really?? seems composed but when he’s on twitter and messaging your friend group, yikes. Vows to remain single for the rest of his lonely life. What. [Name]’s brother figure but they fight like twins. Has a very soft aura, you could sleep being around him. Main vocalist.

Aether - Bachelor's in Tourism and Hospitality Management. Founder of famous boyband 5wirl. Is that one guy who you become friends with for his sister. The nicest guy on this god-forsaken planet. Loves his sister to bits, you can’t even cringe at their relationship. Anbody else << family. LUCKY THERE’S A FAMILY GU- Leader, main visual.

Shikanoin Heizou - Criminology Major. F-L-I-R-T-Y MF. WOULD tease you if you get flustered. Very easy to get along with, you’ll always feel at ease around this guy. SMART smart, can get to the bottom of anything. Overachiever, overthinker, straightforward asf. “free bird”, never wants to follow a set of rules. PICKY anything. picky person, picky eater, picky projects. Main rapper.

Venti - Bachelor’s of Art in Music. Also on scholarship. When he turned 21, you best believe he is drinking ‘til the sun’s down. Co-founder of 5wirl. CLINGY. LIKE VERY CLINGY. Music and humour = coping mechanism. Assumed to be “dumb”, his grades prove otherwise. That one friend who, if he could, he would. Co-leader, all-rounder. Famous for his talent in musical instruments.

Tag list;

@r4nd0mwe1rdo @layla240 @nanakusastuff @cqntarella @himoutolikesjojo @kunikuzushisbeloved @vvasant @xiaosonlybeloved @eunchaeluvr @sammybeefangirls @xiaomybeloved @loveyaemiko @sakiimeo @erosdevil @raideneiari @d4y-dr3am3r @potabletable @k33vad3la @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @crucnhice @kichiyoshi @hutaomarryme @rvoulte @neigesprincess @aemiko @meowmeowmau @doumalove @kunikuzushiit @toobytub @ynverse @yukii-1 @lumpywolf

A/n: hi :)

[vampyrrhik]

burnout has been beating my ass fr but yaaaay i have cobbled together some form of reference for angel after a tragic incident w my ipad 🎉🎉 ill probably make a big proper sheet and post at some other point but im sleepy as hell

playlist for him here

playlist for general. band vibes

playlist for um. men who scream and cry and throw up about exes who hate them

☆ BONUS ☆

- PASS THE AUX

- his emo playlist he listens to whenever literally anyone mentions seven ever

a lotta hyperlinks going forward so u can give the bands i mention a listen!! :]

♡ his name is angel caine (he/they) and he's the lead singer of TEENAGE HOMICIDE.

♡ the general vibe of TH is new age riotghoul/ queercore / punk / indie rock, think dazey and the scouts meets måneskin. musical influences on angel themselves have been bands like system of a down/ bikini kill / propaghandi / cheap perfume and radiohead (and misfits alley obviously).

♡ his voice is androgynous bordering on a husky, feminine note, with prominent vocal fry at times. (i cant give u references for this, ill just have to project his voice in my mind directly into ur brain)

♡ his presentation on stage and off stage are pretty much the same, with the only differences being how dramatic the makeup is. generally the vibe they go for is riotgrrrl/ kat bjelland/ courtney love esque outfits (or kinderwhore, i suppose). off stage, they also wear a lot of baggy cardigans and band tshirts, though none of which are usually theirs.

♡ he can play piano and the lyre harp!

♡ he has a self-destructive streak and an unwillingness to compromise when he feels like hes been wronged. while he never initially harboured negative emotions about seven after their fight, the perceived sudden scathing hatred immediately following hurt a lot (eventually becoming bitterness and anger).

♡ he is incredibly sentimental and prefers to incorporate symbolism in the things he does. sevens initials are tattooed on his left ring finger, which is simultaneously a blessing and a curse. the tattoo is easily hidden considering his abundance of rings, however, finger tattoos require frequent upkeep which... angel still does. he claims its because its cheaper to get it touched up than to get it removed.

♡ he bakes when hes super pissed off which... good coping mechanism. but theres only so many cookies rowan can eat before it starts to get excessive.

♡ do not let this man near a magnet

♡ would literally sell all his limbs to meet g reign, he is down so fucking bad (respectfully).

♡

♡ he is... a very big fan of soft violence. nobody outside of the band knows this and he insists on keeping it that way. despite how he feels about seven, deep down, hes really proud of them and it makes him happy seeing them succeed. getting to hear their voice is just a bonus.

when the @infamous-if demo drops its all over for me, forever and ever 🫶🫶

[streets-in-paradise]

Where Are All the Gods? - Thor x (Fem) Quill!Reader/ Loki x (Fem) Quill!Reader

Word Count 1.7 K

Warnings: MCU styled standard pop culture references ( the reader is Star-Lord’s twin so...) 

Summary: Loki has an excentric neigbor in the dungeons of the asgardian palace that quickly catches the attention of Thor during one of his visits. She seems to have a past that resonates with their own experiences and the god of mischief keeps himself skeptical about the veracity of her saids, but his adoptive brother is willing to listen her. 

Notes: For the sake of this, let’s pretend Thor visited Loki at least once before the prision break that happened during the invasion of the dark elves. 

Tags: @nocturnest @spngingerbread21​ 

The prince of Asgard was in the dungeons for an informal visit to his brother. Nothing obliged him to do it, he told himself many times that he was going to give up on him. However, actually putting that idea to practice wasn’t easy because he still cared for Loki despite stumbling with his hate over and over again. Thor only wanted to make him company for a while fearing that the extreme isolation would make him even more deranged and there weren’t many others willing to make the visits. No one else, only him and the queen had some amount of attachment to him. 

It didn’t take long for him to regret coming, as soon as the sarcastical verbal aggressions started. The situation progressively escalated into one more of their classical fights. 

“ You are pathetic, as much of a simplistic sentimentalist as the species you adore so much.” Loki was rambling his hate away. “ Can’t you see that you need of me more than I have ever needed you? You are here for yourself, Thor.” 

The god of thunder wasn’t listening anymore. Not only was the reproach old, but a noise in the background was catching his attention. One that Loki got used to after many days hoping to learn how to ignore it. A mindless environmental inconvenience that didn’t justify the use of magic, but was enough to annoy him pretty frequently. 

You were singing in the cell right in front of his, acting like you would have been ignoring the argument when in fact you have been pendant of every word because you were bored. Extremely bored, and Loki wasn’t a very chatty neighbor. Singing to yourself for hours was a coping mechanism to keep your sanity, but also an easy way to get attention whenever possible. Even if it would start with him yelling at you to shut up, he would have to talk with you. Annoying the two asgardians into paying attention to you seemed more fun than being passively exposed to their family drama. 

“ That the walls were shaking, the Earth was quaking “ You sang as if you would be back  fooling around with Peter. “ My mind was aching and we were making it … “

Thor turned back following the direction of the sound and Loki was even more infuriated than usual when he realized you created a successful distraction midway into his venting. 

“ Mind to give us a minute? I have been FORCED TO HEAR YOU for the ENTIRE DAY!!” 

“ Your song… “ His adoptive brother inquired with unstoppable curiosity. “ I think I have heard it before.” 

“  No way! The son of Odin is into AC/DC? Things are getting crazy!” You answered with excitement. “ … And you shook me all night long …” 

You sang a little bit more into the short chorus and brought to him the needed realization. 

“ STARK! That’s a song he likes,” He cheered the awakening of his musical memory.”  it was hard to decipher without the music. This is outstanding, Loki! I think your companion of imprisonment must be from Midgard.” 

“ Curious detail, it must be part of the punishment. Her constant singing will drive me insane.” 

It was your opportunity to properly engage in their conversation and you didn’t waste it. 

“ Hey, god of thunder and rock and roll! I heard you protect people from Earth. Would your code of honor make you be my lawyer? Spending quality time with your maniac brother has been fun, but I really need a way out of this.” 

“ Excuse me, but even as a prince of Asgard I can’t interfere with a verdict given by the Allfather.” Thor calmly informed you. “ I fail to understand how a human found such an unlucky fate.” 

Loki bursted into laughter. 

“ Wait until you hear it, she has broken all human measurements for stupidity. It’s humiliating to serve sentence close to someone like her.” 

“ You underestimate everyone the same way you overestimate yourself.” The son of Odin recalled. “ Which was your crime, midgardian lady?” 

“ Theft.” You simply explained. “ I tried to take a valuable piece from the asgardian treasure.” 

Loki’s demeanor was intimating you to give a complete confession. 

“ Tell him which of the many artifacts in the palace was the target of your greed.” 

You hesitated, then replied. 

“ Odin’s Gungnir, the only thing this place holds that’s almost as valuable as your untouchable Mjolnir. Nothing personal, I just wanted it for its worth. I’m not planning to use it to destroy a planet like this one did with an Infinity Stone.” 

It wasn’t precisely what Thor expected to hear and it raised even more questions. 

“ The objects you mention are beyond the reach of any mortal, it makes no sense. Not even hearing the name of my hammer angers me because I am aware you would have never accomplished such an impossible heist.” 

“ Did you sincerely think you were going to steal the most heavily guarded weapon in Asgard and walk out harmless?” Loki followed, the airs of superiority in his tone quickly increasing. “ You were imprisoned by your own moronic recklessness. Why did you want it, in the first place? The palace is brimming with treasures that are easier to obtain, heading for the spear of Odin is like screaming to the guards to lock you in a cell for the rest of your life.” 

“ The client I got only pays for unique shit, Loki! He is not interested in a golden statue from your banquet hall.” 

Thor witnessed the altercation with amusement. Insulting people to entertain himself in endless arguments was the closest Loki was to making friends. 

“ If you ask me, that feels to me more like desperation than foolishness. “ He added in your defense. “ Not so long ago I thought myself capable of successfully invading Jotunheim all on my own because desperation to prove myself made me commit a reckless mistake.” 

You showed him a half smile that Loki noticed with annoyance. 

“ Nobody asked you, Thor. You shouldn’t even be here. “ 

The blond ignored him and gave a few steps closer to your cell. 

“ From one desperate fool to another.. May I ask for the motivation behind yours? ” 

Thor was soft spoken and sweet, so you found no problem in opening up just a bit to him. 

“ My brother, I did it for him. For both of us, we want to start over away from the asshole who raised us.” 

“ You have be kidding me!” Loki interrupted with frustration. “ Are you going to believe her? She is clearly trying to manipulate you using what she has learned by listening to us against you.” 

“ I’m not, I swear. This is all a great irony. “ You defended yourself right away. “ Your pity is useless, you can’t get me out, so why would I lie to you? I do have a brother I love, Peter is all I have. It’s always the two of us against the universe, no one else cares for us... Well, Kraglin does, but the point is that we don’t fit in where we are. I wanted to make that sale so we would have enough to make it alone without having to worry. The man who raised us made us thiefs, it’s the only life we know since he stole us from our home as children.” 

“ Is that the addition you make meant to move my emotions?” Loki mocked you with cold skepticism. “ Now is when I’m supposed to empathize with the tragedy of those who suffered from my fate. Let me be the first one telling you that you fail as a liar as you have failed as a criminal, your tale is unrealistic. The stealing of midgardian children serves no useful purpose. “ 

“ Sneaky advantages ideal for stealing.” You corrected him. “ We were smaller than most alien kids and if you would have read The Hobbit, you would know that little people make excellent burglars. Instead of a company of thirteen dwarves at our doorstep asking us to join for an adventure, my brother and I got kidnapped by the forty thieves of Ali Baba.” 

Neither of them understood what you were trying to exemplify, but their confusion was fun to see. 

“ Fate mocking us because Pete and I have the kind of bond you two never had is out of my control. “ Was your honest conclusion. “ How about having a few counseling sessions to pass time? Thor can come once a week and I can help you solve your problems. I failed as a criminal, but I’m good at being a sister for my bro.” 

It was a subtle invalidating point for Loki’s insults that you delivered flawlessly 

“ I refuse, I don’t need advice from an inferior creature. “

“ Then why are you here? If humans are so inferior, why aren’t you ruling us? We are cellblock mates because you failed as a dictator, you are a loser doomed to hear me. “ 

Thor stifled a chuckle to avoid making things worse. 

“ You are not the worst company that can be found in this prison. Loki doesn't appreciate it, but he should.” 

You exaggerated a lovely expression receiving the neutral compliment. 

“ Thank you, Thor! He doesn’t value me in the slightest. Would you keep coming to visit me? I can tell you many awesome things about Earth if you want.” 

Loki rolled his eyes, avoiding looking at you. 

“ Don’t waste your time, he already has a midgardian and she isn’t a constant source of annoyance like you are.” 

To his brother’s disgust,Thor felt comfortable with you. Your ways reminded him a bit of Darcy, quite funny and nice to be around. He was also curious about your story, which you began to tell but didn’t finish. 

“ It would be my pleasure.” He answered directly to you, ignoring the insidious side commentary. “ The eloquent and heartfelt way in which you speak of your brother is a comfort for my troubled mind and I would like to learn more about midgardian traditions to surprise my friends.” 

The agreement was sealed sharing polite smiles, then Thor turned back to face Loki. 

“ See you soon, try to be a nicer companion.” 

As he was heading out he could still hear the usual bickering between prisoners restarting. 

“ Where have all the good men gone and where are all the gods?” You were singing once more.“ Where’s the streetwise Hercules to fight the raisin odds?” 

“ SHUT UP!!” 

“ Don’t you like it? Too bad, it's from Peter’s favorite movie. Do you know how many times he made me watch it? I know it by heart so get ready.” 

[teenagemutantninjatrauma]

*sigh* 2003 turtles should’ve made a radio station

Did anyone see that one video of Raph and Mikey doing a podcast and answering questions? How neat would it be if they just… had a radio station??

Imagine, right, Mikey reads scary stories and he and Donnie are writing an episodic murder mystery story. Leo does mini-lessons in Japanese language and culture. Raph blasts absolutely banger music and gives updates on any new happenings New Yorkers should watch out for - ongoing gang wars, aliens on the loose, but also charity events outside of Oroku Saki’s work because. Fuck Oroku Saki lol

Whenever they get into trouble and can’t get to their radio station or are too busy fighting something, the few New Yorkers that listen to them worry, and as they worry, they talk, and so ironically anytime the station goes quiet, the awareness of it spreads. The turtles keep coming back to new listeners, and they make more stories, more little lessons, they share little censored bits of their life. Mikey does in-depth analysis of superhero comics and shows like Star Trek, and very often reminds his listeners to Be Fuckin Weird!!! Be you be fun be interesting, your interests and hobbies are so cool I promise you, your outfit is banger and your hair is stylish and you deserve to feel confident in yourselves!!

Donatello shares hacks to make putting together machines easier for yourself, especially encouraging women to not feel intimidated or ridiculed by men for never being taught stuff like car mechanics — once you know where to start and what things look like, it’s easy enough! He researches reliable resources both online and offline, and occasionally rambles about new breakthroughs and what they mean in the bigger scope of all things science.

Leo has little episodes about exploring the soul - learning to understand yourself, meditating on who you are and want to be, but also how to cope with dangerous or traumatizing situations (shoutout to the Ancient One). Lots of queer folk lightheartedly agree that they would come out to him without hesitance because he “would be so so nice about it I bet.”

Raph starts setting up interviews, at first with the humans he knows - the kind Mrs. Morrison, talking about the horribly unfair housing policies making her life harder, the Professor, to humanize the homeless, but then he gets a little braver and starts interviewing nonhumans that live in the city — Leatherhead first, and then Sydney and the other people from the Underground City. A stray Utrom that settled down here and opted to stay when their peers left for home. Professor Honeycutt, when he visits - that interview sort of cements that he’s not making these people up, because, well. Everyone had seen and heard the fugitoid during the invasion. He interviews superheroes, both those that work during the day, and those that work during the night (and yes, he does interview the Turtle Titan). He invites the Battle Nexus Daimyo for a visit. But the interview most beloved by the listeners… is one Raphael conducts with his dad.

They never mention they’re mutants, but I wonder how many people feel something click in their minds when Raph starts the interview by going “so. Just you and four kids, practically homeless, hiding in the shadows. How did you manage, those first few years when we were really little?” And they talk about being a single dad who was “barely an adult” (read: still learning himself how to be a mutant) and all the folks out there who maybe had to deal with having kids too early or at a time where they couldn’t properly take care of them as much as they wanted to, they all lean in, because this man sounds like he’s about sixty now - surely he’ll have some wise words of advice? And he does, Splinter talks about having to learn what kids are even like, never having had interacted with that many people in general before, he often had to guess at what was a serious ailment and what was simply a byproduct of childhood and later puberty, he talks about how visiting his few friends (the Ancient One, and the Daimyo) helped him remember that he’s not all alone to do this, he talks about how what worked for one of his sons didn’t work for the other three and how a parent should always remain flexible and open minded and accepting of change, as change is natural to life and inevitable especially during the early years. And they talk and talk and I bet a bunch of New Yorkers go “wait a minute.. four guys that live on the streets with a dad they occasionally call a ‘master,’ one of them constantly talks about machinery, they all speak fluent Japanese… could these possibly be the fucked up little guys that saved my ass that one time? Could this be the guy I punched that one time cuz I freaked out?’

Like. Just consider it okay. A turtle radio station.

[nyarlathotep-thecrawlingchaos]

Below you will find the character profile for my One Piece OC (one of them, anyway. I have at least five, but I'll be working the most closely with this one for now).

So, here we go. Only been working on this shit for like...three days. Okay, technically over ten years since I used to write her ages ago when I was on fanfiction.net, but I've redone a lot of things.

I'm already in the process of working on a novel-length Mihawk x AFAB!OC fanfic, so here's the overly extensive character sheet for my OC because I always put way too much effort into character development.

The character history practically devolves into a mini fanfic itself around the middle by total accident, but whatever.

The fanfic(s) will toe the line between Live Action and Manga canon. We'll just call it AU and leave it at that.

Karimi Lionne

Associated fanfics: Hearing Problems (coming soon to an Unknowable Horror near you) and Any Way The Wind Blows (eventually, bear with me)

Age: 24

Occupation: Pirate; Mercenary

Abilities:

Kiku Kiku no Mi: A Paramecia type devil fruit that grants the user the ability to hear...well, everything, all the time. Within a certain range she, can hear the thoughts of people around her. The range varies with her focus; standard, it's anyone within a range of about fifty feet in any direction. She can close that circle down to either listen to one person's thoughts, or expand it to search a city or town for a particular person. Activated (which she hasn't yet), it allows the user the ability to plant thoughts in others' heads, and potentially control their thoughts.

She considers the ability more of a curse than a blessing since she has never managed to hone it quite well enough to shut it off entirely, and can often be found sitting at a dock or on a beach with her feet in the salt water, just to get some peace and quiet in her own head.

Blades: Karimi carries a pair of daggers with ornately carved ivory handles, the head of a lioness carved into the top of each hilt, in sheaths at either side of her belt. They belonged to her grandmother, who raised her from age four to age fourteen, and also taught her most of what she knows in combat. She also keeps a handful of throwing knives in a holster belted to her right calf, a couple inches below her knee.

Her fighting style relies primarily on agility, evasion, and accuracy rather than raw strength due to her relatively small stature of 5'2".

Haki: Not a master by any means at all. Learned from Red-Haired Shanks during her brief stint working with his crew, used largely to assist in suppressing her devil fruit abilities and making them more manageable. Not really proficient enough to use it for any other application.

Music: Karimi was taught to play guitar, fiddle, and piano by her grandmother, but she hasn't touched an instrument since her grandmother died, so she doesn't know how much of the ability she has retained. Karimi also learned several sea shanties from her, and often hums or quietly sings them to herself while out to sea.

Appearance:

Faceclaim: Jane Fonda c. 1960s, facial structure, skin and hair edited via Faceapp

Long, dark green hair, in wild curls that she can't do much of anything with except tie back in a bun or stuff under a hat. Sharp emerald green eyes. Fair-skinned with a handful of freckles.

The Resting Bitch Face is strong with this one.

Slender, petite, 5'2" tall.

Tends toward wearing long-sleeved shirts/dresses to cover the scars on her arms. Almost always wears her grandmother's hat, an old and tattered brown leather tricorne with a patch on the front left brim and a few more in the back.

Personality:

Confident, toeing the line of outright arrogance at times. Humor that ranges from dryly sarcastic to quite silly, depending on who she's around. Guarded. Brooding. Cynical. Empathetic. Gentle. Uses sarcasm as a coping mechanism. Not easily offended. Prominent issues with self-harm and PTSD.

Backstory (prior to beginning of fic)

Karimi has next to no knowledge of her origins. She knows her mother died shortly after giving birth to her, that she was born on her father's ship, and that she got her hands on a devil fruit the crew had found and ate it when she was three or four years old, not knowing what it was. Shortly thereafter she was taken to live with her grandmother on a remote island village called Conch Cove, somewhere on the Grand Line.

Her grandmother, Helena Lionne, had been a pirate captain shortly before Gol D. Roger came around and into his earlyyears of piracy, but Karimi didn't know much about her history. Helena was a powerful haki user, and was able to use the power to dampen Karimi's devil fruit abilities, largely for the sake of the girl's own comfort and sanity. Helena trained her to fight in order to defend herself in the event that she ever left the island, as well as survivalist training. She wasn't shy about telling Karimi that the world could be a dangerous place, particularly for a woman on her own, amd wanted to ensure that her granddaughter had everything she needed to safely make her way in the world.

Karimi found out more about her grandmother a week after her fourteenth birthday.

She discovered that her grandmother had been captain of the Siren Pirates. She discovered her grandmother possessed the abilities of the Mizu Mizu no Mi (logia type, water). She discovered that her bounty was in the billions...and still very much active.

The Marine Admiral who showed up to the island, Admiral Jackson "Volcano" Vesper, brought a large crew with him, with no intention of taking Helena alive. His moniker stemmed not only from his explosive temper, but also from his own devil fruit abilities—the predecessor to Fire Fist Ace, he possessed the power of the Mera Mera no Mi (logia type, fire). He also possessed an intense desire for revenge on the woman that had killed his father.

He didn't bother revealing how he managed to track her down—he simply went in guns blazing. The battle between him and Helena, between his crew and what remained of hers, waged for nearly two entire days, leaving several Marines and villagers dead and the town in total ruin. Karimi stayed hidden the entire time as her grandmother had asked her to, but with Helena's haki focused on defending herself and her allies, Karimi could hear everything with her devil fruit abilities.

She could hear the moment when Admiral Vesper's first mate got the drop on her grandmother, pinned her to the ground with the butt of his rifle, which he had coated in a layer of sea stone, instantly sapping her strength and her devil fruit powers.

Karimi could hear Vesper's thoughts, his intentions to humiliate her, kill her, and return to Marineford with her head.

And Karimi emerged from hiding and managed to toss a throwing a knife into the back of his leg.

She was captured almost immediately. Her physical resemblance to her grandmother in the woman's younger years was noted immediately by Vesper, and he knew in that instant that he had won.

And Karimi knew it too, with the man's bowie knife to her throat.

He agreed to let Karimi go in exchange for Helena's life, and Helena gave in without a second thought when she saw the bowie knife start to cut into her granddaughters neck.

He took the remainder of Helena's old crew as prisoners—the only four other villagers on the island left alive, but not before slitting Helena's throat and sawing her head from her neck with his bowie knife, while Karimi was held captive and forced to watch.

Then he and his men left her there on the remote island, in a ruined village with nothing but the corpses of friends and neighbors and the woman who raised her to keep her company.

She doesn't remember much of the following two weeks. She knows she was able to make a spear out of a throwing knife and a shovel handle to catch fish for food in the shallows around the island. That she had a fresh source of water in the form of a pond. She knows she was nearly through building a raft out of the rubble that was left of the town when another marine ship arrived at the island, captained this time by Vice Admiral Garp the Fist. She was understandably beyond wary of Marines, and she fought tooth and nail, kicking and screaming, when they took her back to their ship.

They took her throwing knives and her grandmother's daggers, and she was forced to stay in the brig because she made very clear that she would gladly gut any marine who came near her. She was still treated with kindness and provided full meals given her situation, and as she bided her time and got her strength back she formed a plan of escape.

She was able to use her devil fruit powers effectively in her escape—by listening around and finding the easiest target. This came in the form of a fifteen year old cadet who would check on her and talk to her during his downtime. He thought she was pretty and couldn't believe she had managed to keep herself alive for two and a half weeks after what she had been through, admired her sheer strength of will. It was incredibly easy to sweet-talk him into getting her weapons back to her, playing on his sympathies by telling him that they were all she had left of her grandmother.

She hid them once she had them, and did a little more sweet-talking...until he agreed to steal the keys and get her out of the cell. Once she was out, she wasted no time in knocking him out, stealing his uniform, stuffing her hair under the hat, and discreetly stealing enough rations to last herself a week and slipping away on a dinghy.

She had no idea where she was or how she was going to get anywhere, but she wasn't exactly of sound mind after the trauma she had endured. Her only thoughts at the time were that she wanted to put as much distance between herself and the Marines as possible.

She was picked up by a merchant vessel after a few days, and they took pity on her story and allowed her to remain on board the ship, assisting in cooking and cleaning in exchange for room and board and safe passage to their next stop. They were bound for Loguetown in the East Blue, and that suited her just fine.

Loguetown was a large city right outside the only passage onto the Grand Line, and it gave her plenty of options for work. She worked odd jobs that provided her with room and board, saving up money over the course of the following two years.

She was working in a tavern and staying at the attached inn when the Red-Hair pirates made port in Loguetown, and she knew she had her ticket back onto the seas, with only one goal in mind—to find her father, and tell him what had become of her grandmother.

Her memories of him were too vague for her to give any decent description, but she wasn't telling anyone her reasons anyway. She waited for her shift to end before approaching Shanks himself and asking, confidently, to join his crew.

That got a tremendous laugh out of the crew at large, but only a little bit of a chuckle from Shanks himself.

"And why would a little slip of a thing like yourself want sail around with a bunch of old men?"

"That's not really important." She sat down at the neighboring table at this. "But what I can provide your crew is."

"And what might that be, love?"

"I've trained with daggers and throwing knives since I was four years old. I also possess the abilities of the Kiku Kiku no Mi."

Yasopp, sitting between Shanks and his first mate Benn Beckman with bis feet propped up on the table, snorted at that, grinning. "So what, it improved your hearing?"

Karimi leveled her eyes with his. "Immensely," she daid. She gave a small smile...and began narrating his thoughts out loud. "'The hell is this girl's deal? Does she have any idea who she's even talking to right now? She can't even be much older than my—Wait. What the hell? What the hell is she—'" His feet slipped off the table, his mouth falling open as he registered what was happening. "'Holy shit, is she in my head? Is—'"

"Okay, you made your point, cut it out!" he half-shouted, staring at her in alarm.

No one was laughing anymore—and she knew she had their full attention now.

"That," Shanks said lightly, the amusement gone from his eyes and replaced with caution—but also intrigue, "is a very dangerous ability for someone as young as yourself to possess."

"I've had it since I was four. I've learned to manage it."

That was, of course, only half true—she could deal with it, yes, but she couldn't fully control it.

After a long, silent moment, in which members of his crew exchanged glances and Shanks quietly studied her, he leaned back in his chair, nodding to himself.

"Let's give you a real test," he said, leaning his arm over the back of his chair. "See how well you can put your abilities to use." Karimi lifted her eyebrows, waiting. "I want you to sneak into the Marine base here in Loguetown. Find where they keep the treasure and money they've confiscated from pirates and thieves they've arrested...and walk out with as much as you can carry." He lifted his bottle of rum from the table. "Undetected."

"Have you lost your goddamned mind?" Shanks glanced across the table at Benn when he spoke up.

"That's been gone for years, but go on."

Benn gave a growl of annoyance at his captain. "She's a kid. You're talking about sending a kid into a damned Marine base to steal from them. That's a suicide mission."

"The girl wants a chance to prove herself," he said simply, shrugging a shoulder. He looked back at her. "That's my offer, love. We're setting out no later than noon tomorrow. You bring your haul to the ship, you can come with us."

Karimi nodded, and stood from her chair. "Then I will see you all no later than noon tomorrow."

A few hours later, when the tavern closed for the night and the crew returned to the ship, they were met with the sight of Karimi, wearing a Marine uniform and sitting on a sizable burlap sack right in the middle of the deck. She stood from it and kicked it over, spilling gold bricks, jewels, and piles of Berry notes and coins across the deck.

Sneaking into the base had honestly been a piece of cake—she found a half-drunk Marine a couple years older than her at another tavern, did a little sweet-talking and got him back to her inn room. Suggested some rather kinky activities that would involve him stripping down and being tied to the bed and he jumped on it. Once he was securely tied, she gathered her few belongings, put on his uniform, put a do-not-disturb sign on the door, and slipped out the window.

It had taken longer to find and get into the rooms where they kept any seized contraband, but it had been as simple as keeping her head down and listening. Hiding and ducking down empty halls when she heard anyone drawing too close. The entire ordeal had taken just under three hours.

After a long stretch of silence, it was Benn Beckman that voiced what everyone was thinking.

"Holy shit."

Shanks grinned over at him. "Suicide mission, aye?"

She was officially welcomed aboard the ship at this, as promised, but there was some deal of commotion when she told them her name.

Particularly her surname.

She learned very quickly that both Shanks and his first mate were familiar with her father—and that Benn utterly despised him. To the point that he, however briefly, threatened to throw Karimi off the ship himself against his captain's will if necessary. The brief altercation ended in Benn storming off to the gun deck on his own, leaving Karimi wondering if she had made the right choice of crew.

Shanks was far more personable.

He told her about her father—Lyon D. Rollo.

He described her father as having been like "the annoying little brother he never wanted." Told her about their time spent as deckhands aboard the Oro Jackson. About his devil fruit abilities that had caused absolutely nothing but trouble for years because they were incredibly difficult to master without massive repercussions: the Kaze Kaze no Mi (logia type: wind).

Told her how they met Benn not long after Roger's execution after setting out on their own—Benn and his younger sister, Sedna, who he had looked after on his own since he was around sixteen and she was six, when their parents had been killed by raiding pirates.

Who Karimi's father had apparently fallen inmediately head over heels for. Said he refused to leave town without her, and did exactly as he set out to. Benn had refused to leave her side, and came with them despite his hatred of pirates at the time.

It was a year later that Shanks and her father had gone their separate ways. It had always been the plan, as they were both too stubborn to accept being anything but captains. Once they gathered enough of their own crew members and got their own ships, they parted as friends. Benn stayed with Shanks, and Sedna remained with Lyon.

It wasn't long after that they recieved word that Sedna had been killed during a firefight with the Marines.

"He never mentioned a child," said Shanks, shaking his head and looking at Karimi like he was looking at a ghost as he leaned forward against the railing around the bow. "I imagine he couldn't have been much older than seventeen." He shook his head a little, still in disbelief. "I don't think I need devil fruit abilities to know what you're doing here."

Karimi nodded shortly. "Do you know where—?"

"No, unfortunately."

No one knew where Lyon was—it had been five years since Shanks actually last saw him, and he and his entire crew seemed to have just vanished into thin air around a year ago, despite still holding active bounties.

Karimi didn't tell him anything else, not why she was looking for him—only that she was, and that she had no intention of remaining with the Red Hair crew for the long term. Just long enough to get a bit of money together and purchase her own ship, something small like a sloop that she could handle by herself.

She ended up sailing with the Red Hair Pirates for around two years, give or take few months. Shanks became something of a mentor to her over that period of time, taking time to train her in Busoshoku Haki, the same type of Haki that her grandmother had used to repress Karimi's Devil Fruit abilities, so Karimi could use it herself when she wished to. It wasn't fool-proof, but it at least helped lessen the mental load.

Once on her own, Karimi ultimately began working as a mercenary; taking on jobs with various pirate crews that required stealth or a subtle touch, avoiding Marines as much as possible, and attempting to gather any information she could about her father, but to no avail on the latter front—it really seemed like he and his crew had just vanished into thin air. His bounty was still active, along with those of his first mate and officers, but no one had heard hide nor hair of them in literaly years.

Nothing much changed for her until Karimi took a job from the Buggy Pirates a few years later, at twenty-four years old. Buggy was searching for a map of the Grand Line, and he needed someone to steal it for him, since he and his crew more or less stood out like sore thumbs and couldn't very discreetly sneak into the naval base in Shells Town where it was being kept. She was reluctant to accept—she usually avoided jobs that had anything at all to do with the Marines, but Buggy made an offer she couldn't refuse.

He claimed to have information about her father that he would gladly trade for the map.

She kept her ship anchored next to Buggy's overnight to set to preparing, planning to make way for Shells Town first thing the following morning...but news came down the grapevine that night that the map had been stolen during a break-in by another pirate crew into the Marine base.

In his rage that his plans were foiled after spending months gathering information, Buggy laid the blame on the hired hand—that she had left immediately, she could have beaten the other crew to the base and gotten the map first. He ultimately sunk her sloop, nearly with her on it before she managed to gather her most valuable items and get herself onto Buggy's ship, where he informed her she would be working for him until her debt at failing to get him the map was paid off—now she was going to have to steal it from the pirates that had taken it.

Karimi had little choice but to agree—being a devil fruit user, it would be far too risky for her to steal a dinghy and take her chances with thr open oceans.

They found the crew on a schooner and took them prisoner easily enough, given that there were only three of them. Karimi recognized one of them from a description Shanks had mentioned during her time with the Red Hair Pirates of the boy he had lost his arm to a sea monster saving (a story that she had honestly thought had to be an exaggeration), who claimed to be their captain and insisted he was going to be king of the pirates...while the other two claimed they weren't even a crew.

Whatever the case, Karimi knew they were her ticket out of servitude to the Buggy Pirates, and mutinied against them the second that the odds shifted in favor of Luffy, Zoro, and Nami.

Luffy was more than happy to welcome her aboard their tiny ship, especially on learning that she knew Shanks. She didn't tell them of her devil fruit abilities, still keeping them suppressed with Haki, a mistake she would regret in the next island they made port at due largely to their schooner springing a leak. They lucked out on landing in a town with a shipyard, but none of them really had a Berry to spare between them to actually purchase a new ship—the vast majority of the money that Karimi had saved herself had sunk to the bottom of the ocean with her own ship amd most of her worldly possessions.

On meeting and quickly befriending Usopp at the shipyard and learning the owner of the place was his "best friend," they had something of a plan, if a bit of a ridiculous one—Luffy was convinced that if he just talked to Kaya and explained their situation, she would just give him a ship and they could be off and on their way.

Both Karimi and Zoro recognized the butler Klahador, but couldn't quite put their finger on why. This was Karimi's mistake—she didn't think enough of it to release her haki and just listen in on his thoughts. It wasn't until everything later fell apart in Kaya's mansion that she did release her haki and quickly learn he was Captain Kuro, a cutthroat captain who had been believed dead for years, that he had been poisoning Kaya for years, and that he planned to murder Kaya and take over the estate himself that night.

She also learned while her abilities were active that Nami had every intention of stealing the Grand Line map and taking it to the pirate crew she was serving against her will. By this point Karimi had developed a soft spot for all three members of the Strawhat Crew (even if two of them still claimed not to be a crew), but she decided not to confront Nami about it—yet.

Kaya was more than happy to gift them a ship after they helped defeat Kuro and freed her from his suppression. She offered Karimi one as well, but she declined, stating that she would prefer to purchase one herself once she had the means to do so—but that she would happily return to Syrup Village and purchase one from Kaya's family's shipyard. In truth, she was honestly enjoying her time with the ragtag little crew, and wanted to stick around with them just a bit longer to see how far Luffy's ambitions could take them.

Usopp joined them at this point as the crew's sharpshooter. They were intercepted not far from Syrup Village by a Marine ship, and Karimi recognized Vice Admiral Garp almost immediately—as did Luffy, to her and the others' astonishment on finding our that Garp was his grandfather. Luffy was able to use his devil fruit abilities to deflect a cannonball thrown at their ship by Garp, and damage Garp's ship enough for them to slip away into a dense fog and lose their pursuers.

They happened by pure luck upon the restaurant ship Baratie, where our story begins in earnest, following Luffy's idiocy at trying to pass off a very expensive bill with an I.O.U. and getting stuck washing dishes in the kitchen to pay it off.

Relationships

Helena Lionne (OC): Grandmother, deceased. A powerful pirate captain in her heyday, Helena disappeared from the seas without a word one day and no one really knew where she had gone. Helena raised Karimi from age four to fourteen, when she was tragically murdered by a revenge-crazed marine admiral whose father Helena had killed years earlier when she was still pirating. Karimi looked up to her immensely and loved her to death, and thinking about her still hurts.

Lyon D. Rollo (OC): A active pirate captain on the grand line, though no one has heard hide nor hair of him or his crew (the Hurricane Pirates) in years. She's been trying to find him for the past ten years, to tell him what happened to her grandmother/his mother, since Karimi was the only witness left alive and no one else would be able to tell him exactly what happened. It doesn't help that she last saw him at four years old, and remembers next to nothing about him. He's actually the one who gave her the hat—he took it when he left home at thirteen to become a pirate himself, and left it with her when he took her to her grandmother. (A/N, if and when I ever get to working on Any Way The Wind Blows, it will be about his history.)

Red-Haired Shanks: Working with the Red-Hair pirates for two years led to her becoming fairly close with Shanks. He had known her father over two decades and became quite protective of her as a direct result, with her looking at him almost as a father figure as well as a mentor.

Benn Beckman: The first mate of Red-Haired Shanks, Karimi learned from Shanks that her mother had been Benn's younger sister, Sedna, and that Benn absolutely despised her father and blamed him for his younger sibling's untimely death. As a result, Benn spent a while both wary and untrusting of Karimi and treating her with indifference that bordered on hostility; but he eventually let it go, accepting that she was capable (and, in his own words, "a hell of a lot smarter than Lyon D. Dipshit"),

The Marines: Karimi positively despises Marines, with the sole exception of Garp since has come to recognize that she wouldn't be alive if not for him, though good luck getting her to admit it.

Luffy: For her short spell traveling with Luffy and his "crew," she bonded with Luffy pretty quickly, coming to see him like a goofy little brother. He absolutely reveled in hearing stories about her time on the ocean, especially any that involved her time on Shanks's crew. She's quick to scold him for his naivety and questionable decisions, but it's mostly out of care; his ambition is definitely infectious, and she wants to see him achieve everything he's set out to do.

Nami: As the only other girl on the Going Merry, Karimi did her best to get close to Nami, especially on learning about her tragic situation with the Arlong Pirates via her devil fruit abilities, but Nami makes herself intentionally distant.

Zoro: She butted heads a fair bit with Zoro, largely due to both of them being exceedingly sarcastic, but she doesn't hate him by any means. Quite the contrary, she admires his abilities as a fighter and passes time sparring with him on the deck. They're about evenly matched in fighting ability, as his style relies largely on strength and her own on evasion and agility.

Usopp: Usopp is always quick to pipe in with his own epic stories of his supposed adventures when Karimi mentions any of her own past ventures. Not unlike Luffy, she looks at him almost like a younger sibling, though honestly he annoys her a little more than Luffy.