#and I try to keep the way that made me feel in mind every time I see a real-life crime case hit the news

[tiredmamaissy]

Oh nothing, just thinking about an accidental creampie with Simon Riley and him turning into a forceful breeding. 😇 mdni!!

Your thighs are on fire but it doesn’t stop you from riding his fat cock. Your pussy is so wet and sloppy it stains his thighs every time you ram him back inside. Your mind is cloudy and you’re high on hormones. It’s the first you’ve felt this way in months.

“‘m ovulating, lieutenant.” You confess through a desperate whisper when you feel him twitch inside you.

His eyes widen as they search yours with haste, trying to find your bluff. Bluff that you didn’t actually have the balls to come off the pill and fuck him raw. He made you swear to take your pill everyday. And he knows you can’t ovulate when you’re on it.

“Fuck. Get off.” He grunts gruffly, glancing down at the slimy, sticky mess you're making on him.

“But ‘m gonna cum—gonna cum. Gonna c-cum on your cock, ghost.”

Your pouting, pushing hard enough to shove the crown of his cock past your cervix. You grind into him in a frenzy, chasing your orgasm like you need it to breathe. He feels you tighten around him and your little fingers dig into his shoulders.

“I said get off, private.” He growls deep, fighting hard to keep himself composed.

But the feeling of your fertile little pussy pulsing on his cock makes him to lose control. You go to lift yourself off him once you finish, only for him to grab your hips and force you back down onto his cock, hard.

“Fuckin’ hell—” He groans gutturally, flooding your cunt with his hot seed.

“Simon…fuck!” You whimper from how deep he is, trying to wriggle out his unrelenting grasp.

“Is that what you wanted? Wanted me to breed you?” He rasps, driving his throbbing cock even deeper inside. “Then you better take it, love.”

[authorhjk1]

Hello! Been loving your previous and current works and enjoyed reading them, plus this new idea of yours is kinda intriguing. I have yet to see someone make a masterpiece of Seulgi in this iconic outfit. I wish you all the best and stay safe.

Dark Red

(Kang Seulgi X Male Reader)

You both knew that one would eventually falter. While Irene placed her bet on Joy, you expected Yeri to be the first one.

But to your surprise it is Seulgi, who is know standing in front of your door. Her whole body is covered by a long brown coat. You can see the light flush of her cheeks and the slight smell of alcohol invades your nostrils. Seulgi has definitely been drinking.

"What do you mean by 'me too'?"

You pretend to be slow in catching on, wanting to hear the words from Seulgi herself.

"I-I I can't... It's just been so long since I've been with someone."

She looks up at you, her big eyes tempting you to give her a comforting hug.

"I can't keep watching the two of you."

"Well, if that makes you uncomfortable, we can always stop-"

"No!"

The color of her cheeks turns even darker in embarrassment.

"It-It did help me a little. Some material for... You know?"

"Seulgi, I don't know if I should have a conversation with you about these kind of things. You are my girlfriend's friend."

"I-I know."

Seulgi glances at her feet, a defeated look on her face.

"M-Maybe you c-could help me out this one time?"

You can tell that Seulgi is trying to gather all of her confidence. And you know it must be hard for her to ask her friend's boyfriend to cheat on her. But she seems to be really desperate.

And it's not like you are gonna cheat. Why would Seulgi think that Irene wouldn't like you to fuck her friends? She already makes them watch, when you fuck her. Irene made it very clear to you that, if this exact situation occurs, you can do whatever you want.

"I don't know, Seulgi."

You still pretend to be innocent, wanting to see how far she would go. Seulgi is unaware of Irene's kinks. So in her mind, she is actually asking you to cheat on her leader.

"I can make it worth your while, you know?"

She seems to have mustered all of her courage now.

You watch as she slowly starts to unbutton her coat. It reveals a short red dress with all sorts of different patterns. It seems like it's made out of red strings and dark flowers, which are attached to some fabric underneath.

You know for a fact that Seulgi has way more seductive outfits than this one. But she probably didn't plan on asking you for sex, when she put it on and left the house. Wait, what exactly is she asking for? She answers your question by herself.

"After I had to watch you so often, I now need the same. I want to feel it."

Seulgi steps closer. You are still very aware that you're standing in the doorframe as she wraps her arms around your neck.

"I want to know what it feels like."

She gets on her tiptoes and whispers into your ear.

"To get used."

Every man's patience has a limit. And your are no exception. Of course you could toy with her a little longer, but where would be the point?

"Get in."

You try to look as guilty as possible, hoping to keep up the act of you, cheating on Irene. Already planing on revealing it to Seulgi in the future, you walk after her. Maybe while you fuck her hard over the kitchen counter in their dorm and Irene walks in? You would love to see Seulgi's face in that moment.

She is now looking around your living room.

"You have a really nice h-"

"No talking."

You spin her around, pressing your lips on hers.

Seulgi immediately whimpers as she finally feels you touching her. Her tongue starts to invade your mouth, trying to fight yours. As she deepens the kiss, you bend your knee a little, forcing it forward, right between her thighs.

A moan escapes her mouth as you push upwards. Even without orders, Seulgi starts rubbing herself on your knee. After only a couple of moments, you feel something wet form on your jeans. You break the kiss off, pushing Seulgi off of you.

"You really are needy."

She gives you a pleading look as she nods.

"Just do with me what you want. I just need to feel you."

You reach forward, grabbing both her arms with your hands and pull her towards you again. Seulgi stumbles forward. You catch her by grabbing her naked thighs. Lifting her up, her face is now right above yours. She instinctively captures your lips with hers again. Your hands glide along her thighs as you marvel at their fullness. Hundreds of hours of dancing. All packed into these thighs of hers.

A couple of steps forward and you push Seulgi against your wall.

"Le me feel how tight your pussy is."

Seulgi gasps at your words, feeling how your hand reaches underneath her dress. No panties. They're probably stuffed into her coat. Dipping a finger inside, you hear her moan loudly.

"Damn, Seulgi. You must be way tighter than her."

You want to make Seulgi feel guilty for making you "cheat" by mentioning Irene.

Seulgi's eyes drip with lust as she bites her lip. She herself can't tell how she got herself in this kind of situation. What a bad friend she is! A bad bandmate! A bad person!

And yet, as you quickly open your pants with your free hand, Seulgi can only drool for your cock.

You don't even give her enough time to take a good look at it. It disappears underneath her dress as you take both her butt cheeks into your hands.

"Oh, god!"

Seulgi lets out a loud moan as you penetrate her. Her head falls back against the wall as you pull her onto your cock.

"Y-You are way bigger than-than I thought."

She manages to say during her up and downs as you move her body along your shaft.

"And you really are tight, Seulgi."

You start to complement her whole body while you nail her against the wall. Like an expensive painting, you admire her beauty.

"Oh, yes! Please!"

Seulgi definitely went too long without any intimacy. It only takes her a couple of seconds more and she quickly cums on your cock. Her pussy clamps down on you as you keep lifting her body up and down.

"I-I need your cum! I saw y-you filling her up."

You are aware that Seulgi avoided calling Irene by her name. Kissing her neck, you hold Seulgi in place and start trusting into her from below.

She quickly turns into a stuttering mess, while you mark her neck. It'd be fun to see Seulgi trying to hide it from Irene, despite the older one "not knowing" where it came from.

"Yes! Yes! Yes!"

Seulgi buries her head in your shoulder as she climaxes for a second time. Her pussy feels tighter now. And wetter. You feel her juices drip down your cock as you chase your own high.

Her back rubs against the wall as you keep pounding into her from underneath. Her nails start to scratch at your back as Seulgi tries to let go of the pleasure, which is overwhelming her.

"Fuck, Seulgi."

With your final thrust upwards, you simultaneously pull her down.

"Holy-!"

Seulgi's cry is interrupted by a gasp as she feels your cum flooding her insides. Her pussy is filled within a matter of seconds. Your warm cum starts to leak out of your connection, slowly dripping onto the floor.

"That was..."

Seulgi's heavy breathing stops her from finishing her sentence. You wonder if the fact that you are "cheating" is getting Seulgi off.

----------

Hi, everyone!

Hope you liked this one. I honestly did go over the limit by a couple of minutes, because I wasn't finished, since the intro got longer than I expected. But that's not a big problem, gonna try to keep it a little shorter from now on.

Stay healthy!

[ham1lton]

semi charmed kinda life!

pairings: jenson button x driver!reader.

warnings: smut at the end. please don’t say i didn’t warn you.

summary: simple story. girl meets boy. boy is her older brother’s best friend. boy is off limits. then boy sees her all sweaty post race. you know the rest.

author’s note: quick request! i combined two requests into one :) wrote this on the train and i’m home now! hope u all enjoy <3 it’s very long :(

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jenson didn’t consider himself to be easily distracted. when he was younger, absolutely. if a pretty girl winked at him or he saw a gorgeous vintage car, it could easily turn his head. yet, now he was in his forties, he liked to think he was pretty indestructible.

jenson knew you, of course he did. he was best friends with your older brother. they had met as they both karted when they were younger and when your brother had decided he wanted to go to university and have a normal job, they had kept the friendship going.

however, he didn’t interact with you a lot. he only knew you as the determined kid who drove circles around your brother.

that was all he knew, that you were really good and really busy. you lived up to your hype as you eventually became the first female f1 driver to win a championship. you didn’t race at the same time as jenson did, as there was a noticeable age gap between the two of you, and now as you’re nearing your late twenties, you’re also reaching your peak.

you easily land first place as you take off your helmet and shake your hair free. you smile and hug your team as they all encircle you as best they can. you looked radiant, winning looked natural on you.

jenson couldn’t stop looking at you. it was like a switch set off in his brain. y/n was hot? had you always looked like that?

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────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

as the crowd began to disperse, you caught sight of jenson standing off to the side. your smile widened and you made your way over to him. “jenson, hey! it’s been a while,” you said, pulling him into a friendly hug.

“y/n, congrats. that was an incredible race,” he replied, trying to keep his tone cool and casual.

“thanks. it feels surreal, honestly,” you said, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear. “i never thought i’d get here.”

“you’ve earned it,” jenson said, meaning every word. “you’ve always been talented.”

“coming from you, that means a lot.” you said, your eyes sparkling with gratitude and … something else? but before he can think too hard, it’s gone and your assistant is by your shoulder. you look apologetic as you turn to go.

“say hi to your family for me.” jenson calls out after you. desperate for another second of your attention. you turn around and give him a wink.

“course i will. you’re practically a l/n now jenson.” you laugh, as you head into the garage, leaving him grinning after you like a little kid again.

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later that evening, jenson found himself at the hotel bar, nursing a drink. it wasn’t as strong as he’d usually like it but it was enough.

the place was buzzing with post-race energy, filled with drivers, team members, and fans celebrating the day's events. he glanced around, half-expecting to see you among the revellers. just as he took another sip, you walked in, and he nearly choked on his drink.

you looked incredible. gone was the racing suit, replaced by a sleek dress that hugged your curves perfectly. your hair was styled effortlessly, and the confidence you exuded was even more noticeable now. you scanned the room, your eyes landing on jenson. a smile spread across your face as you made your way over.

"jenson, hi. mind if i join you?" you asked, your voice carrying over the noise of the bar.

"sure, please," he replied, hoping he sounded more composed than he felt.

you took the seat next to him, ordering a drink. he noticed you didn’t get an alcoholic one. "crazy day, huh?"

"definitely. you were amazing out there," jenson said, unable to keep the admiration out of his voice.

"thanks. it still feels like a dream," you said, your eyes meeting his.

for a moment, there was a comfortable silence between you, the kind that speaks volumes. jenson felt a rush of nerves, something he hadn't experienced in a long time. he was used to being in control, but you had a way of making him feel like a teenager with a crush.

"so, what's next for you?" he asked, trying to keep the conversation going. he turns towards you.

"celebrate tonight, then back to training tomorrow," you replied, laughing softly. "no rest for the wicked."

“i don’t miss that part.” he laughs, taking another sip and not ignoring the way your eyes watch him.

“what about you? mr button.” you say, crossing your legs. “what’s next for you?”

“now my racing days are behind me?” you nod. “commentating, business, mentoring and a bunch of other things. trying a bit of everything before i die.”

“sounds like you have your hands full.” you raise an eyebrow. “still, i bet you miss the track.”

“every day,” he admitted. “but it’s also nice to watch the next generation take over. like you.”

“you like watching me?”

“who doesn’t?” jenson smiles ruefully, like a kid who just got caught with his hand in the cookie jar.

you finished your drink quickly, and looked at your watch. you sigh. jenson’s heart sank slightly, wanting to keep the conversation going.

“i suppose i should get some rest. early day tomorrow.”

“oh, yeah, of course. don’t want to keep you up.”

“unless, would you like to join me?”

his pulse quickened as you looked at him. he smiled.

“i’d like that.”

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you kissed as well as you drove. firmly, and in control. weird analogy but jenson’s brain was always in driving mode, even as you slid your hand into his pants. okay, maybe not then.

you grin into the kiss as he holds you tighter. he runs a hand through your hair as your hands encircle him. he breaks the kiss as he stands back for a second and wipes off your smeared lipgloss, he kisses you again enthusiastically as your grip on him tightens.

“god, you’re fucking gorgeous.” he moans as you stroke him.

“yeah?” you break the kiss to help him get undressed and for a moment, you enjoy the contrast of your clothed self versus his nakedness. “you thought about this?”

“maybe.” he has the audacity to look slightly sheepish as if that isn’t the hottest thing he could have said to you. your childhood crush is in front of you, admitting that he thinks you’re hot and that he’s fantasised about you. you drop to your knees as he gently puts your hair in a makeshift ponytail with his hand. the response he gives as you go down on him is more than enough to have your legs pressing together.

“wait! wait.” he says, breathlessly. you stop and look up at him with curious eyes. “i’m gonna cum if you continue. don’t have the same refractory period as i did when i was younger sweetheart. let me return the favour, yeah?”

you smile, all innocence, as your brother’s best friend peels the dress that you were wearing off your body. thank god you had prepared for this opportunity, you had worn your sexiest lingerie in the chance that this happened tonight. jenson kisses you harder, and you know he likes it.

after a moment, he’s between your legs and what’s left of your makeup is smudged. you’re at least seventy percent sure that your mascara has left your eyelashes and moved all over your cheeks. he’s gently pressing kisses to your clit through your panties, which are already wet with your arousal. he starts to lick at you slowly, through the material. he continues for a while, tongue pressed against you as you languidly grind your hips against his face. but it isn’t enough.

“jenson, please do something.” you cry out.

“i am doing something.” he smiles, faux innocence plastered all over his handsome face. he presses a finger against you, and removes it covered in your arousal. “she clearly likes it.”

“do it properly.”

“say the magic word, miss race winner.”

“please.” you sob. “please, please, please! is that good enough for you?”

“i was going to get you off regardless sweetheart.” jenson grins and you want to smack him, but then he peels off your panties and breathes in your arousal. before his face dives into your cunt, pressing his nose against your clit as he gathers your juices with his tongue. he enters a finger to stretch you open as you dig your hands into his greying hair to pull him closer between your thighs.

he adds a second finger, and then a third, and the stretch is delicious. he focuses his tongue on your clit as he pumps his fingers in and out of you. you knew you were close as you could feel the orgasm building in the pit of your stomach. almost like he knew, he started curling his fingers inside of you and letting you grind down even harder on his face.

when you came, you swore you could see stars.

jenson lets you ride his face through the aftershocks, and then he looks up at you, grinning, his chin still wet with your arousal.

“told you you’d cum.”

“yeah, yeah.” you wave him off breathlessly. “let me get you off.”

“i’m an easy man.” jenson shrugs as he moves up on top of you. “anyway you’ll let me have you, i’ll enjoy it.”

“i want you in me.”

the burn of him entering you is a welcome one. you thank god he prepped you well, it had been a while since you’d had sex and you needed the extra wetness. you can’t even focus on what he’s saying as he fucks into you. everything blurs as you watch him, you’re more focused on how sexy he looks and how good it feels. he kisses all over your neck and your lips.

“look at you.” he groans as he fucks into you harder. your back arches as he takes a nipple in his mouth. your heels dig into his lower back.

you can feel your oncoming orgasm as jenson presses a lazy thumb against your clit and when he looks down in wonder at his cock fucking into your messy cunt, your world goes white as you gush all over him. he fucks you through the aftershocks until he finds his own orgasm, body collapsing onto yours as you hold him close, stroking his sweaty hair.

“you okay? was that good for you?” you ask after a moment. he laughs breathlessly.

“you couldn’t be bad for me. i could have gotten off just lookin’ at you.” he turns to grin at you. “you were great. 10/10.”

“thanks,” you smile and press a kiss against his lips. “coming from you, that means a lot.”

his laughter rumbles through his chest and you can feel the vibrations. you can’t help but laugh too.

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liked by bestie, ynswifey and 1,293,902 others.

yourusername: what’s better than one world champion? two.

view all 234,937 comments

user1: WHAT THE FUCK

user2: I CALLED IT

user3: mommy and daddy.

-> user7: all these bitches are their sons fr

user4: threesome perhaps? :)

-> user9: i need them both carnally.

user12: omggggg bagging her childhood crush AND another championship. yn ur MY goat.

────── ⋆⋅☼⋅⋆ ──────

taglist: @23victoria @c-losur3 @imsiriuslyreal @f1withleire @kamabokogonpachro @sya-skies @dark-night-sky-99 @handsupforamiracle @lichterfee @namgification

[ramonathinks]

tags: older reader x younger satoru gojo, squirting, slight overstimulation, oral (f), smut | gojo satoru

note: i actually don’t like this fr but lol

you’ve never had a real orgasm. not at all in your almost 33 years. no man has ever even almost got you there. but you didn’t know that, you thought you had one before. feeling a bit good and then the feeling disappeared. you were… satisfied maybe? but it was always like this with guys your age.

so you knew why it was different with satoru. but man, it was different. really different.

he was 6’7, had a pretty long and girthy cock between his legs and always had a goofy smile on his face. he was 25 and for some reason… he was interested in you, instead of the younger and presumably prettier girls in the office.

from the moment he transferred to your department, he was in your face and trying to get your attention. it was always something with him — picking up some coffee for you, walking you to your car, and flirting.

it was always something small… a whisper in the ear to praise you for the good job on your presentation or a hand on your lower back.

it was supposed to only be dinner. yet here you are, with him in your bed and his mouth on your cunt.

“you’re delicious.” he mutters, lapping at your folds, stretching your lips open so he can get every bit of wetness spilling out of you. he was avoiding your flit, getting closer and closer before he moved away to focus elsewhere. kissing the trail of wetness on your thighs or dipping his tongue back inside of you. your stomach clenched and you could feel more wetness spilling out and that’s when his lips met your clit — a tiny kiss before he rubbed his face into you and sucked hard enough to make your toes curl.

he can barely wait anymore, he climbs off the bed before removing the last layer of his clothing and rubbing his aching leaking cock against your folds. pushing in, you both moan.

“you’re so fucking tight,” he hisses, moving his hips back and forth, inching himself in. he’s holding back, seeing your face twist between pain and pleasure.

“please i—” your brain is fuzzy and feels like mush, you can barely think. he’s so big and just from what’s inside, he’s close to digging you out.

“shhh… you don’t have to beg senpai. i’ll give it to you right now,” his face is still wet with your juices as he speaks and he releases a short moan feeling you around him. “feels so good already—” he says.

pulling himself al the way out just to slam back inside of you, before he slows down so you can feel every inch of him. speeding his pace so his tip can just almost touch a spot that you never had touched before… a spot you didn’t know existed, but knowing that he was close to something and feeling it .. did something to you

“sator—ahh!” your thighs are shaking and you feels big pressure in your insides that make you try to move him off of you. “i feel like ‘m going to…” he’s slamming into you with one hand on your clit as if he knows what you’re going to say.

a squirt of wetness flows as he keeps moving inside of you and you can see that wetness on his lower half but he doesn’t seem to mind it; his face is in pure bliss as he stares back into your eyes. he pushes on your stomach more, more wetness leaking onto your sheets. your eyes are rolled back but he grips your thighs and forces you to sit on top of him.

“can’t-”

“but you will, right… for me, senpai?” and it was something about him calling you senpai again that made you squirt more uncontrollably, splashing more than just a stream. he grabs your ass and grips it hard, pulling you up and down his cock. your insides tightened around him and you unconsciously rolled your hips a few times.

you could feel a wave of everything washing over you, his cock hitting a different part deep inside you, which made your back snap and you wrap your legs around him even more, cumming in his lap with a big moan; a mixture of both cream and squirt soaking his lap.

“i’ll make sure you never forget who made you cum this hard.” he kisses you, grabbing your jaw so that you can open your mouth before he spits in your mouth and you groan, sinking your nails into his back.

you wake up late, almost in the middle of the afternoon, wrapped in your sheets and satoru gone. you aren’t so surprised but you put your robe on and walk down the stairs.

you hear talking or a bit of arguing.

“listen kid, im not leaving my daughters with you. now tell me—” you freeze at the voice of your ex and you see a fuming satoru.

“no you listen—”

holding the robe even more tightly together, you walk towards the two men to make your presence known. “c’mon girls, there’s food on the table.” your daughters race to the kitchen.

“wait babe, i made that for us—” you shoot him a stare and satoru shuts his mouth.

“thanks for dropping them off, have a good day.” you shut the door and sigh. “why didn’t you wake me?”

“i tried but you were so worn out. i guess i overdone it…”

“you guess? i never came in my life and you…” you whispered, feeling dizzy thinking about last night.

“let’s get you something to eat.”

[jadewritesficshere]

Slow and Steady

Steve Harrington x female!reader

Summary: You're ready for your first time with your boyfriend but are nervous based on past experiences. Steve is determined to make you feel good (3-5k words my computer broke around 1500 so I finished this on Tumblr dont know exact word count)

Contains: pure smut, reader has vaginismus (not explicitly named in the fic), talks of anxiety/nerves/doubt, fingering, cumplay, p in v, no condoms please wrap it up, creampie, pet names (Steve calls you Baby)

please note I am not a doctor. This is based on how sex is for me, not every two experiences are the same

18+ only

You sigh in pleasure. Steve is kissing your jaw, sucking lightly at your pulse that's beating wildly for him. You can feel a rush of tingling warmth spread from your spine to your lower stomach. Your hands roaming up and down his shoulders, trying to memorize the contours of his muscles. The way his hand squeezes your hip as if you would drift away if he let go.

Steve sighs, pressing his forehead into your cheek before giving you a final kiss and starting to pull back. You whine, gripping his biceps. "Steve don't! Plea- keep going!" You aren't sure you're fully making sense as your thoughts are only Steve Steve Steve. "Baby, I don't want to get carried away without talking first," Steve cups the side of your face with his hand, thumb lightly moving back and forth over your cheekbone.

"I want to make sure you're ready," Steve says looking deep into your eyes. You look away, feeling ashamed. You shouldn't be, you know this. But that doesn't stop that feeling from welling up.

You remember the first time you had sex, how much it hurt. But people told you that was normal, that it's better the next time because you weren't a virgin anymore. But that time hurt like hell too. And the next. And the next. Like you were being ripped apart, like there was something wrong.

And then your doctor told you the name of it and how some women had it. Said there were ways to work around it and work through it, but it was like cotton in your ears. All you heard was there was something wrong with you. You know there isn't, but your deceitful mind tells you there is. And now you tense up as things start to progress, making things worse unintentionally. All you could think was, 'well no one would want to work through it since no one else has before.'

But then Steve came in and tore all your defenses down. Weasled his way in with stupid pickup lines and free car rides. Rolled his eyes and gave you a 'are you seeing this?' look as he bickered with the kids before sighing dramatically and giving them what they wanted. Would wear a stupid apron when he cooked and would sneak food off his plate onto yours to make sure you had enough. You didn't stand a chance.

When Steve made out with you for the first time you wanted to cry. Thought "well this is it. He's going to leave like the rest after this." But when you stopped him, he didn't pout. He didn't roll his eyes or gripe at you, claim you led him on. Didn't try to force the issue. Steve took your no as a no and asked no questions, just pulled back smiled at you with a bulge in his pants and asked if you wanted to choose the movie now.

You broke down in tears as he tried to comfort you. And you told him everything. About how it hurt and had never been enjoyable for you. How you were scared it would hurt again. How you really liked Steve and wanted to do it with him but didn't want to disappoint him like the others. How you didn't want him to leave like the others.

And Steve let you cry into his shirt. And Steve calmed you and told you, "I'm sorry they never took care of you the way you deserve to be taken care of. If you never want to have sex, we don't have to. I love you regardless of sex, I mean yeah it would be fun and I'd like to, but like- if you aren't having a good time I don't want to do it. If you do want to try, Baby, we can take it really slow. Slow and steady. But I don't want you to feel pressured to have sex, we don't need it. If you want it we can and if you never want it we don't have to."

It was like a balm to your soul. Aloe vera on a burn you didn't realize still stung. Just knowing Steve cared enough to not call it quits made you feel desired. But that little lying voice in your head said he'd get upset and move on.

But months passed and Steve stayed. Lovely, caring Steve. Steve who held your hand and proclaimed it was a perfect fit. Steve who kissed you so sweetly, following your lead. Steve who never protested or became frustrated when you stopped things from furthering on. Steve who would help you slip your shirt back on and hold you close after making out. Steve who never once complained about "leading him on" like others have.

Steve who was the first to say," I love you," and never pushed you to say it back. Steve who bought your favorite books and tried to read them so he could have another bond with you. Steve who always knew what to say to brighten your day. The Steve who showed he loved you in every little way he cared for you.

A hand on your face snaps you back to the moment. Steve frowns slightly," You okay? You went somewhere for a minute." You shrug," Got lost in my thoughts." Steve's eyes bore into your own, as if trying to see into your mind. "If you want to stop here, we can-" "No!" You interrupt, running a hand from his shoulder to the back of his neck.

Steve pauses, waiting on you. "I want to continue. I'm just...nervous? They say relax, but then how do they expect me to relax when I know how its been in the past? And then I get tense because I'm nervous and then I'm nervous because I'm tense and then-" Steve cuts you off with a kiss. Your eyes flutter shut as he gently kisses you. It's so tender and sweet, you can practically feel the cavities forming from how sweet it is.

Steve pulls back enough to say," If anything is uncomfortable or hurts you tell me okay? If you want to stop then you say it." You nod but Steve clicks his tongue," I need your words Baby." "Yeah, okay."

Steve kisses your forehead, murmuring an "I love you". He leans back enough to help you pull your dress off and over your head. "Fuck me," he whispers, mouth falling open. Any thoughts of cowering or hiding yourself melt away as his eyes further light up with lust. "Planning to," You grin.

Steve snorts as he laughs, shaking his head slightly before ripping his shirt off. You bite your lip as you look at Steve unabashedly. Usually you try to sneak peeks, like when he lifts his shirt to wipe sweat off his forehead after a run. But now you can just look. You tentatively run a hand through his chest hair, causing him to shiver.

"Now here's what we're gonna do," Steve lightly palms himself over his jeans, groaning before speaking with a raspier tone," I'm going to take such good care of you. You're gonna take your underwear off and-"

You push your underwear down, kicking them off. Steve's jaw goes slack as he stares at your glistening cunt. "That all for me?" Steve asks. "All for you. I want you," You reach a hand out and press against his bulge, causing him to let out a whine before he grips your wrist. "Get comfortable Baby."

You lay back against the bed, relaxing into the pillows. "Now, you're gonna finger yourself." Steve instructs. You scoff," Didn't you just say you were gonna take care of me?" Steve smirks as he grabs your hand," Oh I will, but look," He holds his palm against yours," My fingers are so much bigger then yours."

It's shocking how big his hands are compared to yours. His fingers are longer and thicker then yours. You can feel yourself get wetter at the thought, but also a hint of nerves come back.

As if Steve has a glimpse into your mind, he slowly runs a hand up your shoulder to cup your face," There's no rush. I can do this all night. Slow and steady, remember?" Steve leans in and kisses you softly. You sigh into the kiss, slowly melding your mouth against his. The tip of his tongue traces your lip, leaving you begging for more.

Steve pulls back enough to whisper," Touch yourself," before trailing kisses to your jaw and neck. You can't suppress the shiver that runs through you as he hits that one spot. Steve lightly sucks on your neck as you slowly trail a hand down.

Your trembling (from nerves, excitement, or pleasure you can't tell) fingers slowly part your lips. You can feel how wet you are, starting to drip onto your thighs and under you. You slowly circle your clit, relaxing at the feeling of pleasure taking over. You moan softly as Steve continues to pepper your neck with kisses.

You lower your hand further, fingers tracing your entrance. You coat your fingers with your slick before slowly pushing your middle finger in. It doesn't hurt at the moment, but feels uncomfortable. Your brow furrows slightly, concern starting to come back. Steve is there though, kissing your forehead until you relax and using one of his large fingers to deftly circle your clit.

You pump your finger in and out, discomfort dissipating each time until you're reveling in the feeling. "There ya go," Steve murmurs reverently as your mouth falls open at how good it feels. Steve wraps his hand around your wrist, causing you to whine as he pulls your hand away.

Steve maneuvers your hand so only two fingers remain up before guiding them back to your pussy. "There you go Baby. Doing so well," Steve praises as you slowly insert the two fingers. It takes a second to adjust, to get used to the feeling.

But Steve distracts you by kissing down your chest. He reaches behind you and unsnaps your bra with one hand, the other grabbing your wrist and guiding you into a faster pace.

You let the bra straps fall down your arms, laying loosely. Steve peels your bra down and groans as your breasts sway slightly. "So fucking gorgeous," Steve groans," Doing so good." You don't even have a chance to warn him as you tumble over the edge of pleasure. You moan and gasp as you writhe against your hand. His tongue feels electrifying as he circles it around your nipple, finger circling your clit again.

You can barely hear Steve saying," That's my girl. Doing so well Baby." Your mouth is hanging open as you take in deep breaths. Warmth, euphoria, and ecstasy flow through your body freely. You come back to your body slowly, aware of Steve holding you hand, his thumb moving back and forth caressing your hand.

"My turn to touch you Baby," Steve growls out. You blink up at him a few times, still coming back down to earth. You nod as you remove your fingers. They glisten in the light from your wetness. Steve inhales sharply before darting forward, licking your fingers. You aren't sure if it was you or him who gasps, but Steve's mouth is suddenly surrounding your fingers.

Steve sucks and licks the wetness off your fingers. His eyes flutter shut as he moans. You can feel yourself getting more turned on as you watch Steve. Steve blearily opens his eyes, still sucking on your fingers. His eyes heavy with lust.

You gasp as Steve trails a finger through your folds, coating them in your release. Steve pulls off your fingers with a sudden pop, lips glistening from spit and cum. "You taste so fucking good Baby. Can't wait until I can bury my face in your pussy," Steve slowly inserts a finger as he speaks," But we'll save that for next time okay?"

His finger is definitely bigger then yours. It is slightly uncomfortable, but not painful. Steve redirects your attention by circling your nipple with his tongue again. With his free hand, he caresses and pulls the nipple he is currently not kissing and sucking on.

Steve adds a second finger once he's felt you fully relax against him. Once he's seen the unconscious tension in your shoulders go away. When he sees the clench of your jaw and your furrowed brow relax. Steve knows you have no clue you are doing this, but he is attentive and sees the signs.

When Steve adds a third finger is when you sharply inhale. Steve immediately pauses," Too much? What do you need?" "Just give me a minute," You try to steady your breathing. It doesn't hurt but it doesn't not hurt. It's a pressure and a pinch and pain but not the worst pain you've ever felt.

"I'm sorry," you whisper, looking away. "For what?" Steve frowns and grasps your chin, forcing you to look at him," Baby, it's okay! I can spend all day here with you- i want to spend all day with you. It doesn't bother me that this takes time. I love you. You're worth it. You're like everything to me. You should enjoy this too, not just me."

You can feel the tears start to form but you blink them away. You lean forward and kiss Steve again. He hums slightly against you before deepening the kiss. His tongue sweeps into your mouth, pulling moans and gasps from you. You barely notice Steve moving his hand again, pumping his fingers in and out of you.

When Steve pulls back, his lips are swollen and his face flushed," Do you think you are ready or do you want me to add another finger?" You pause for a moment to think before whispering," I'm ready, just...go slow?" Steve smiles and kisses your forehead," I can do that. That's my middle name." You giggle as Steve blinks at you," That was dumb forget i said that."

He removes his fingers and you can feel yourself clench at the loss. But your heart beat picks up in anticipation as Steve finally sheds his boxers.

Steve can't help but smirk as your jaw drops. Steve is big. Bigger then you expected him to be. There's a prominent vein you want to lick, follow all the way up to the flushed tip. There is pre-cum leaking from the top. You can see at least one freckle near the base, and another on one of his balls.

Steve crawls over you, hovering above. "You ready?" He asks, eyes staring into yours. You nod. "Want to hear your pretty voice Baby," Steve threads his hand in yours. "Ready as I'll ever be," You grin shakily.

Steve positions himself at your entrance. "Hold onto me, okay?" Steve inhales and slowly exhales. You run your hands up his shoulders to the column of his neck before threading a hand through his hair.

You squeeze his hand tight as the tip of his penis enters you. "I got you, I'm sorry," Steve murmurs as he squeezes his eyes closed. "Don't be," you gasp. It isn't painful like it has been in the past. It's a stretch, slightly uncomfortable, but not painful.

Steve murmurs praises once he's seated fully in you. You exhale slowly as you get used to the feeling. Any further nerves and tension slowly goes away. You feel so good. Full. You lean forward barely touching Steve's lips with yours. Steve chases you, enveloping your mouth with his.

"Please move Steve," you whisper in between kisses. He nods. Steve slowly moves out, it makes you want to weep at the loss, but he's suddenly filling you again.

You gasp in pleasure. It's never been like this. Felt so good. "Fuck," you gasp out, nails scratching against Steve's shoulder. He grabs your leg and positions it around his hip, driving deeper into you," Yeah, we are."

You would chuckle, but you can barely think straight. Warmth spreads throughout your limbs. Pleasure. Ecstasy. You moan wantonly as you writhe against Steve as your orgasm overtakes you. Steve squeezes your hand in his, grounding you into this moment, as he presses his forehead to yours.

Every breath you exhale, Steve inhales, and vice versa. His weight pressed against you, holding you close. His hips stutter against yours, you feel his warm wet seed paint the inside of your walls. You are wholly consumed by Steve.

You slowly come back to your senses, to Steve kissing your neck. You hum slightly, pulling back to look at him. "That was...amazing," you smile at him. Steve grins back before kissing you once more," Let me get something to clean you up, I'll be right back."

You feel empty as Steve pulls out, a slight sting at the loss that dissipates quickly. Your combined release spills out of you as Steve stands up. Steve's jaw drops slightly at the sight, stomach muscles twitching as his cock kicks back up in interest.

Steve shakes his head and returns to the task at hand. He heads into the attached bathroom, grabbing a washcloth and running it through warm water. When he returns, he carefully cleans you. You shift uncomfortably from the unexpected texture against your sensitive skin.

As soon as Steve is done, he tosses the washcloth towards the hamper. He scowls as he misses, causing you to laugh. He crawls into bed next to you," Foul play, I was distracted." "Oh?" "Mmhmm" Steve covers you with a blanket and pulls you into his side.

You curl into Steve, hand resting against his chest. You can hear his steady heart beat. You absent-mindedly trace letters on his skin. "I love you," you murmur. You pause, waiting for a response.

Your brow furrows and you lift your head to look at Steve, who remains silent. You snort out a laugh. Steve's eyes are closed and his jaw slack as he breathes through his mouth. Dead asleep as you confess your love for him. You grin as you kiss his pec, laying your head back down.

You'll tell him again when he wakes. And again that evening. And again. And again. And-

[dixons-sunshine]

Pull Through | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader

Summary: While you were injured with no way of knowing if you'd make it or not, Daryl let the group in on his feelings. He shares some of his memories with you, as well as some of his worries.

Genre: Angst.

Era: Prison, post season three, pre season four.

Part of the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU, but can be read as a standalone. However, some call backs are made to previous parts in this.

Warnings: Mentions of injuries.

Word count: 1.2k.

A/n: I've had this idea in my mind for another part to the Shopping Spree, Hangout Dreams AU for a while now, but I just don't know how to put it into a proper fic. This is more of a filler than an actual fic, but anyways. Hope you like this!

“Ya know, Shane wasn't the first person to tell me tha' I dun' deserve her.”

Rick looked up from his daughter to look at the archer, Daryl holding his own five month old baby girl in his arms. Rick's heart broke at the sight of his found brother's clear distress evident on his face. He was staring off at nothing in particular, thankfully lucid enough to keep Hazel in place on his lap. It was clear that your recent injury had taken its toll on Daryl, and Rick knew that if you didn't wake up from your little coma, Daryl would be a mess; he would be a bigger mess than Rick was when he lost Lori.

“My whole life, even 'fore I grew the balls to confess to her, people were tellin' me tha' I dun' deserve her, tha' I ain't good 'nough fer her, tha' she'll see it herself and leave me.” Daryl stopped for a moment, his attention temporarily being diverted to his daughter who was starting to fuss a little. He whispered sweet nothings to her in the hopes of calming her down, slightly bouncing his leg and successfully coaxing a giggle from her. “But she never left. Even when things weren't all sunshines and rainbows, she stayed. She loved me regardless of all of my flaws, and god knows I have a shit ton of 'em. She ain't ever even thought 'bout walkin' outta the door, even when she could'a, and I wouldn't have blamed her.”

By now, a few people in the group has stopped to listen to the usually quiet archer. Beth, Maggie, Glenn, Sasha, Tyreese, Hershel, Michonne, Carl and Carol stopped to listen to him. It was extremely rare to hear Daryl talk about anything outside of the usual “formal” work talk—who would go on runs, who'd work on the fence, etc.—so everyone was intrigued to hear the brooding huntsman speak his mind.

“She deserved so much better than me, and I know tha', but she didn't think so. She stuck with me through everythin'. Through most'a my childhood, through highschool, through Merle and his bullshit, everythin'.” Daryl inhaled sharply and let out a shaky exhale, trying to keep his emotions under control. “She always managed to make the most outta everythin'. When I saw a glass tha' was half empty, she saw a glass tha' was half full. Ya know, our first apartment we lived in after movin' outta her mom's trailer was so shitty.”

“Yeah?” Rick replied, just letting Daryl know that he was listening.

“Yeah,” Daryl confirmed with a broken chuckle, nodding his head and allowing Hazel to play with his fingers. “Hot water didn't work most'a the time, the oven only worked when it wanted to, the pipes made this weird screeching sound whenever it was cold, and the window to our bedroom was jammed shut. It never opened, so it was hella hot in the summer.” He sighed again and shook his head. “We lived in tha' crappy place fer years 'fore either of us had 'nough money to move into a better place. But she never complained, never threatened to leave me if I didn't find a better apartment, never once blamed me when she had to take a cold shower in the winter. Hell, she even planned on proposin' to me 'cause I was takin' too long.” For added emphasis, he lifted his left hand to show off the silver band he proudly wore every day of his life since that day in your apartment. “I beat her to it, though. She's jus' so amazin'. I love her. I can't lose her. I'll die without her.” And with that last sentence, a sob finally broke out of the archer's chest.

Within seconds, Rick had gently grabbed Hazel from Daryl's arms and passed her over to Carol—who had been on her way to offer her own support to the huntsman—before wrapping his arms around his unofficial brother. Judith had been passed over to Beth during Daryl's speech to be put down for the night, so it made it easier for the former sheriff to jump up and hug Daryl. The archer never once displayed any forms of sadness in front of the group that had to do with crying. His sadness was usually handled through anger, but this wasn't a usual situation. You—the love of his life and the mother of his baby girl—were clinging on for dear life in your weakened state. The attackers that ambushed the group of people who went on the run the previous day made you suffer the worst of the attack. Hershel did his best with the supplies he had, but there was no telling if you'd recover until you woke up, if you ever woke up. And that scared Daryl beyond belief.

Rick didn't hold Daryl long, maybe two minutes at most, until he pulled away. Daryl furiously wiped at the tears in his eyes, mad at himself for displaying such weakness in front of everybody. However, nobody made any sort of comment towards him, their own understanding and worry towards you preventing them from doing so.

“If there's one thing I know,” Rick began, standing up and allowing Daryl to have some space. “It's that you Dixons are fucking stubborn. She'll pull through, I know it.”

Daryl sniffed and nodded, wiping his eyes one more time before getting up and gently taking his daughter from Carol. “She needs to be put to bed soon. She, uh, needs to see her mama 'fore it, though, jus' in case...”

Just in case you didn't make it.

Rick nodded sympathetically, and with that, Daryl walked away from everyone's empathetic gazes. He walked up the stairs and made his way to the makeshift medical cell, expecting to see you asleep, like you had been for over twenty-four hours at that point. However, he was instead met with the sight of you sat up and crouched over to the side, heaving and clutching at your chest, awake and alert, and he didn't hesitate to call for help.

“Hershel!”

Within seconds, the old man had hobbled himself over to the cell and was by your side in an instant. He was helping you put an oxygen mask over your mouth to help you breath, and once you weren't struggling to breathe anymore, he sent a frightened looking Daryl a reassuring smile. He beckoned him closer, and with Hazel still in his arms, he walked over to you and sat down on the bed, hugging you gently and quickly before pulling back—there would be time to crush you to him and never let you go when you weren't sat with a recently shot stomach and a few broken ribs. Hershel patted his back reassuringly, and he sent a very awake, lucid you a warm smile.

“Welcome back.” He turned to Daryl and nodded. “She pulled through.”

“S'a good sign, righ'?”

For the first time in twenty four hours, Hershel gave the archer good news. “It's a damn good sign.”

You were grunting and reaching out to Daryl, and your husband instantly knew what you were requesting. With a nod from Hershel, Daryl slowly transfered Hazel into your arms, and your little one instantly recognized her mama's touch. Her mood instantly brightened, right alongside her father's.

You were okay. However, the same definitely wouldn't be said for the son of a bitch held prisoner as soon as Daryl was done with him later—he was going to pay for hurting you, and Daryl wasn't going to go easy on him, either.

[ibetonlosinghuskies]

patience and pleasure pt 2

summary: paige and azzi struggle with their unspoken feelings towards each other leading up to their last game.

warnings: slight angst, suggestive language.

disclaimer: everything i write is a work of fiction, any and all similarities to real life is not intentional!

word count: 1.6k +

author’s note: thank you for all the love on pt 1, i love y’all sm!! 💕

paige's pov:

of course i had my makeup bag. it never leaves my backpack actually.

azzi had only done my makeup a few times before, and it really does look better when she does it. but that's not the reason i asked her.

i've known azzi's signature lip gloss since we were sixteen. i've lost count of how many tubes i've gone through myself, telling myself it was just because i liked the flavor. but deep down, i knew.

the shade, the shine, the scent, it all belonged to her.

i guess i just wanted her on my lips.

something about the way she put it on me made my stomach flip.

azzi always gets this really serious look on her face when she was focused. it's especially apparent when she's on the court. once i see her put that face on, god bless anyone who comes in her way.

her consistency followed her off the court also. her fixed gaze on my lips when she applied my makeup. immersed in her own concentration, i took the time to study her.

i knew pretending to "forget" my makeup bag would give me time to admire her. as this being our last game, i don't know how many of these moments we have left.

and just when i had my opportunity...i froze. being with azzi sometimes made it feel like time was standing still. but this, this was different.

i'm still not over it. her lips meeting my skin, her soft breath against my face, the smell of her perfume.

i could melt in her arms if she let me.

following her out of tunnel, i licked a bit of her lip gloss off the side of my mouth.

that's one way to taste her.

lazily, i let my eyes outline her body as she walked with a swift confidence.

i can't believe i left her clueless. my sweet, shy girl finally made a move and i gave her nothing??

i need to say something to her, but my mind is blank, tongue-tied by the weight of her kiss.

azzi's pov:

i sped out of the tunnel trying not to think about how awkward i was. paige trails behind me, walking a bit faster to try to keep my pace. 

i can't believe myself. i've gone years without acting on these types of thoughts. and now, on our last game and i went and made it awkward. what if i made her uncomfortable? and here i was calling her the softie...

just then, i get that familiar feeling—the same one i get when paige is about to pass to me on the court. even when she's not looking, i can feel her burn for me. i know she’s about to say something, i can almost feel the words form on her lips.

i reach the end of the tunnel, where fans scream and whistle. finally catching up, paige walks shoulder to shoulder with me.

the sound of shoe soles on the court, chirping like morning birds. booming chants and whistles blend together in an overwhelming mass. herds of fans reach for her, arms outstretched in longing. the amount of times they chant her name, it starts to feel like it's not even a real word anymore. their rhythmic chorus engulfing everything around us.

my gaze shifts to her face. and just like that—everything stops.

the same noise that was pulsing through me just moments ago quiets to a soft hum. but with the look on paige's face, you'd think she couldn’t even hear them at all. a slight smile across her lips, the kind of smile you’d miss if you blinked. her eyes flicker across my face as if searching for something.

paige's pov:

every time i look at azzi it's like seeing her for the first time.

my ribs cave in like a dying star, heartbeat pounding. my body sings for her.

her beauty is devastating. it wrecks me every time.

she parts her lips slightly when she catches me staring. all i can hear is the stillness in her breath. soothing like a lullaby, she inhales sharply pulling me in with just a breath.

i quickly shift my gaze the crowd before she can meet my eyes. 

“PAIGE, OVER HERE. I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN,” a college aged girl shouts. 

i look up to see a girl decked out in head-to-toe uconn merch. my jersey across her chest as she leans down to me.

i absolutely adore my fans, it gets exhausting at times but i’d never let them see it.

i reach up to sign the girl's jersey. she’s rambling about something but i’m only thinking about how azzi is standing right behind us. i feel bad for being inattentive but i don’t want to waste a minute tonight not looking at her.

especially not when she looks this good.

as an apology, i shoot the girl a wink as i hand the marker back. “thanks for coming, ‘preciate it,” i say to her.

eagerly, i turn to find azzi, but she’s already at the bench.

god, i hope she isn’t still worried about what happened in the locker room. why didn't i say anything to her?

once i reach the bench, i quickly scan her face. i’ve studied her for years, i could recall every dimple, every scar, every freckle. our teammates think azzi is hard to read, but i think she pretty transparent if you know her well enough.

her discipline shows in her demeanor, with a stoic expression.

this time, though, it’s different. this isn’t her normal look, something’s bothering her. she's blinking faster than normal, her eyes darting from viewpoint to viewpoint, unsure where to land. i'm desperate to soothe her, to fix this.

i take a seat next to her on the bench as geno goes over plays. luckily, he’s facing one of my teammates to explain something so i take the opportunity to inch my hand closer to hers. hyperfocused on the small space between us, i finally meet her skin. the muscles in my hand go slack when i feel her.

i give in so easily to her, my god.

my pinky traces the familiar ridges of her knuckles. i can draw the lines on her hands from memory. a heat builds in my fingertips, i need more.

i brush my pinky finger against hers to attempt to soothe whatever she’s thinking about.

c'mon azzi, look at me. get out of your head.

her finger twitches slightly underneath mine.

was that intentional?

i search her expression like it will give me the answer. i look closely for a small smile, a furrowing of her eyebrows, a slower blink.

something, azzi, give me something.

i feel inebriated by my own desperation, but i swear i see her eyes soften for a moment. but still, she’s not here. whatever she’s thinking about, she’s in it deep.

i feel the muscles in her hand relax, and she lets me sink further, slightly interlacing our fingers. finally giving me an inch of surrender. before i can get a grip on her hand, geno turns around. with a swiftness that stings, azzi snaps her hand back into her lap.

i have to take a moment to adjust from her absence. her warmth slowly leaves my hand and i swear i feel my bones ache for her.

azzi’s pov:

paige reaches up to sign her jersey, resting a hand respectfully atop the girls chest. 

a jealousy submerges my mind as i watch, flooding my veins. it's instinctive and all-consuming. i hate the way i want to pull them apart. knees locked, i'm paralyzed by my own envy, choking on words i have no right to say.

you’d think i’d be accustomed to this by now but i’m not. paige is so deserving of all the love she gets from her fans. they see a small part of what i’ve seen in her since we were fifteen. but that’s the part of her i don’t want to share.

sometimes i just wish i could have her all to myself. i know she’s not even mine to keep.

i take a deep breath and try to control my expressions but i break when i see her wink at the girl. my brow creases slightly and i feel my breath stop. my face must have reflected my anger because the girl looks at me confused.

i snap my eyes to the floor and speed walk towards the bench.

i was so stupid for thinking that i could have her. i’ll always have to share her with the world. there’s so much of her to love, i was foolish to think i could handle the weight of fully knowing her.

when she meets me at the bench, i feel her eyes draw patterns around my face.

i need to get these silly thoughts out of my mind. i’ve been able to control myself for years when i thought about her like this. i know better…i just need to-

my thoughts cease when i feel her pinky finger brush over my knuckles. her delicate touch. she's cautious with me like she's approaching a wild animal.

my first instinct is to grab her hand entirely, to plead for more. i freeze caught between wanting to pull away or never let go. my body betrays me and my finger twitches underneath hers.

i can’t let myself get attached to her. i’ll be playing this game forever. i can’t handle the pressure of sharing her with everyone.

i feel her fingers sway across my knuckles like tree branches in the wind. i fight the urge to let her kind touch sedate me. but despite my best efforts, muscles start to relax.

is this girl trying to kill me? she’s playing with me. really, i know how she is. i can’t let myself get my hopes up.

when i see geno turn back to face us, i snap my hand back into my lap.

no attachments, i need to keep it casual.

[ghostkennedy]

I'm a Loser, Baby

~loser, creep, disgusting, vile! König x fem! Reader~

Word count: 1103

Content warnings: harassment, cyber-bullying (digs at reader's personality, appearance, dead loved ones, and telling her to kill herself), stalking, nonconsensual touching(while sleeping), gross stuff (involving a toothbrush, silverware, and menstrual blood), male masturbation, fantasies about period sex, defiling corpse mention

!!!!!!STRICTLY 18+ BLOG! MINORS DNI!!!!!!!!

He’s obsessed with you and you never really pay attention to him. At first, you were intrigued by the giant masked man, but he’s so awkward and says the most unsettling things that you’re completely put off.  And it irritates the shit out of him.

It’s his personal mission to knock you down a few pegs. He starts anonymously bullying and harassing you. So many mean messages from random numbers and throwaway emails. You block every single one, but he always has more at the ready and makes more as needed. Apps such as TextNow have made this so much easier for him.

Fucking stupid. Useless woman. No one wants you around.

Ugliest thing I’ve ever seen.

No wonder you have no friends. Bet your family hates you too. 

Your laugh makes me gag and your teeth are disgusting. Cover your mouth, tramp.

I hope you hate yourself everyday, and if you ever forget, I’ll always be here to remind you. 

Ever thought of just killing yourself? Doing the world a fucking favor.

Your body is the most hideous thing I’ve ever seen. Seen whales built better than you.

If you blew your face off, you’d be a lot more attractive. 

If you hung yourself in front of everyone, they’d just watch. Wouldn’t even try to save you. Worthless.

Personality is about as good as unseasoned chicken. Waste of space.

You ever stared at your side profile? Obviously not since you haven’t killed yourself yet.

He finds people online to send you messages and even call you too. All he has to do is send a little money their way and your contact info, they do all the rest. 

He watches the light slowly fade from your eyes as the messages get more and more elaborate. People online can get really creative. When you change your number and make a second email, he chuckles to himself and immediately forwards them along. 

You’re in your head a lot more now. Not paying attention much to everyone around you, fucking up in training which only makes you feel worse. Gives him extra time to go through your things and watch you in your oblivious state.

You don’t notice the little chew marks on your toothbrush. Him sneaking into your bathroom at least twice a week to suck on the object while he jerks himself off into your skin. You set your dirty spoon in the sink and the second you’re gone, he’s sucking and licking on that too. Groaning knowing your saliva is inside of him.

It continues to escalate until he finds himself going through your things. All of your things. He rummages through your trash casually. Your bathroom trash isn’t safe from his dirty hands either. 

Your monthly cycle is his favorite. He’s always enjoyed the sight of blood and yours makes him fucking feral. He keeps himself from outright touching or tasting the blood, but when he finds a pair of blood stained panties that you couldn’t be bothered with trying to clean or keeping for another cycle, he loses his mind.

It’s probably one of his favorite keepsakes of all time. Using the piece of fabric as a fidget toy of sorts. Whenever he’s alone in his room, he has them in his hands just rubbing them between his large fingers. Jerking himself off with the blood stained fabric numerous times. Always wondering what it’d feel like to fuck you while you’re bleeding–how much blood would coat your thighs and his cock.

In a locked drawer in his own room, he has almost a shrine dedicated to you. Little things he’s stolen from you and so many pictures of you. All taken when you’re unaware of them. An obscene amount of them from when you’re sleeping. Of him touching you when you’re sleeping. Of his cock touching your face and hands when you’re sleeping.

One day he’s leaned back in a kitchen chair, arms crossed over his chest while he thinks of what to do to torment you next, when you walk in eyes bloodshot. Like you’d just been crying. Which you had been thanks to a really nice message getting under your skin. One about defiling your dead relative’s corpse because it’d be more desirable than you. 

König stares at you, not moving a muscle or making a sound. You avoid eye contact as you aimlessly stare in the fridge.

He finally speaks up. “Okay. What’s wrong?” You try to brush it off, telling him it’s nothing, but he keeps pressing. And soon tears are falling from your eyes again and it has his cock hardening in his pants. 

You spill your guts. The harassment. The constant texts and emails. The bullying. The threats. The thing about your loved ones corpse. And König silently listens until your sobs finally stop. 

“You know, I know some people who can deal with this sort of thing. Could make a couple calls and make this disappear.” He fails to mention it’s because he’d call off his specialized force of internet dickheads. 

“Oh,” you speak quietly. “You don’t have to do that. Just feeling sensitive today. I’m sure I’ll feel fine again tomorrow.” Right. Your period should be here within a couple of days. PMS will do that to you–it always does. Best time to pay his people a little extra to be extra mean and consistent. 

“No. I insist. You’re being harassed and that is unacceptable.”

Your eyes soften, your lip continuing to tremble as you finally meet his eyes. “You’d–why would you do that for me? You’re willing to do that for me?”

König just barely nods his head. “Of course.”

You let out a sigh and wipe your tears, smiling widely at him. It has him completely rethinking his motives. You’re the cutest thing he’s ever seen when smiling up at him like that. 

Before he can process it, you’re wrapping your arms tightly around his waist and nuzzling your face against his chest. “Thank you, König!” You say happily, having full faith in him that he’ll accomplish this for you. 

That’s when you feel it. His fully hard cock. Pressing into you. Not a weapon, not a phone. His erection. You slowly take a few steps back from him, a look of disgust on your face. You stare at him for a fat minute before turning on your heels, storming out of the room. But not before yelling, “Pig!”

König does a full 180. Goes from smirking under his mask, to rage filled eyes. Have it your way. His efforts will now double in fucking with you. Self-righteous little bitch. 

~masterlist~

consider supporting me on ko-fi

[k0juki]

Good things take time

Joost Klein x fem!reader

English is not my first language, so feel free to point out any mistakes or errors! Also the pictures is not mine! Credit goes to owner! Not edited!

Summary: If you promise something, you have to keep it. But even Joost makes a promise and doesn't keep it, just like you.

Warnings: alcohol, both sad y/n and Joost, mentions of sex but nothing is here!

A/n: I have mixed feelings about this xdd. Idk if it's happy ending...

Wc: 2.8k

---

Joost. Joost fucking Klein. That man was always very charming and he didn't even have to try. He was always the center of attention whereas you were just somewhere back, trying to fit in. Looking for your kind of people that lay back just like you. And if a year back someone would have said to you, that you're going to be in love with this man, you wouldn't believe them. Probably laugh in their face. You and Joost? Ha, you could never... could you?

He was the god of the party. Whenever he walked into a room, it was like the atmosphere shifted. People gravitated towards him, drawn by his effortless charm and infectious energy. He had this way of making everyone feel like they were the most important person in the world, even if just for a moment. Yeah, you know, Joost.

You and him met pretty easily, not in some grand, starstruck way, but through friends. It was at one of those low-key gatherings that start with a few people and end up with the entire social circle crammed into a living room. Joost was in his element, entertaining the crowd with stories and jokes. You watched him, intrigued by how natural it all seemed to him.

As the night went on, you and him somehow ended up in the same conversation circle. It wasn't long before you were chatting like old friends that have always known each other. He asked about your interests, your thoughts on music, movies, and life in general that night. And you found yourself opening up more than you usually did, his genuine interest made it easy.

Then, you started seeing each other more frequently. Your encounters were never planned, but always felt serendipitous. You ran into each other at the shop center, at friends' houses, and even at the grocery store. Each meeting felt natural, unforced, but then it wasn't just for talking and sharing stories. Now, you and Joost were friends, but with benefits. Of course you didn't mind at all at first. But after some time you wasn't so sure anymore. At first it was just because of some release. But after some time, you started to feel some...things.

Then came the night of this unforgettable party. You didn't want to come here at all, but your friend, f/n, she promised it's going to be just for a few hours and that Joost is going to be here as well. Maybe, that's why you actually agreed to go here. She knew about you and Joost, and how you actually felt about him. But she promise to not say anything.

Joost was, as usual, the center of attention. But this time, at this party, it felt different. Every time your eyes met across the room, there was a spark, a silent understanding that something was shifting between you and him. You watched him laugh, dance, and engage with everyone, yet somehow, it felt like he was always aware of where you were and what you were doing, of who you were speaking with and when you looked at him.

It was like sixth sense.

It started to get hot here, or maybe it was just the alcohol that flowed through your blood. Either way, you needed some fresh air, so you excused yourself from your friend that was just as tipsy as you and you made your way out by the back door that went to the garden. There wasn't anyone, but it wasn't so surprising. Whole party was thrown inside because of the cooler weather.

Enjoying the muffled sounds of a party in the house behind you, you were startled when you felt someone's hand on your hip.

"Hey, hey, easy here. It's just me."

Joost.

"You scared me for life." Turning your head to look at him, you notice how his pupils were big.

"I'm sorry princess, I will try not to scare you away from me." You laughed it off. He was definitely a teaser. It was in his nature, to make people laugh, to forget everything, to enjoy their time with him.

"What are you doing here so alone, hm?" He whispered in the cold night and ran his hand that he had on your hip up and down. To warm you a bit. "It's cold out here."

"I know, but I needed some fresh air. I couldn't breathe in there." You said and pointed back at the house. Leaning your head on his shoulder you closed your eyes, but the drinks that your friend made you drink with her were a little bit stronger for your liking, so whenever you closed your eyes you felt the whole world spin, just like right now.

"Yeah, you're right." Joost put his chin on the top of your head after he kissed it, just as you relaxed in his hold. You always enjoyed his presence, but it wasn't just because of his personality, it was because he made you feel things that you believed that were never there. He was different, he made you feel different. Like no-one else before had. He lifted his hand from your hip and placed it on your arm, "You're cold." he said and raised his head for yours.

"It's nothing." You chuckled, "I will manage." you tried to assure him, but your skin was really ice cold.

"Yeah, in bed with a fever tomorrow morning. Come on, let's get inside." He took your hand in his and together you made your way to the house. He let you go in first, holding the door open for you like a true gentleman he is with a smile on his face. "Lady's first."

You returned his smile, never letting go of his hand. It wasn't strange for you to hold his hand and kiss here and there, but you weren't together, it made some people questioned your real relationship. But what they didn't know was that you and Joost have been sleeping with each other from time to time. And you had to admit, you were totally scared of your future with him.

He doesn't feel love. He never felt that way. You knew it because before you and him started to sleep together, you and him made a promise to not catch feelings, it's just gonna be about a sex. Nothing more, nothing less. And you knew you had crossed that line, but you couldn't tell him anything. That would ruin everything, it would have ruined you. So you swallowed your feelings and told yourself to not, ever, let or somehow show your feelings for him. Even though it hurts you.

"I need to find f/n. She's somewhere here and I need to stop her from doing something stupid." You told Joost and he actually laughed at that because he knew her and what she was capable of.

"That sounds like a good idea. I will be in the living room if you want to look for me after you find her." Joost winked at you with smug on his pretty face and left you here standing with red cheeks. No matter how many times he had flirted with you, you always gave in and let his charm affect you.

---

It took you some time to find f/n, but you also have found some other friends that were looking after her as well. They were leaving and told you they are taking f/n home too.

"Noo, Y/n I don't wanna go home." f/n pouted and hugged you before others basically dragged her off of you.

"You have to. I will text you in the morning, okay?"

She protested, but eventually gave in. Leaving the party and looking forward to your text when you will be leaving.

You went to the kitchen and poured yourself a drink, not so strong this time and then you started looking for another person, Joost. But he already told you where he's going to be. Making your way through bodies to the living room, you greeted some faces you recognised. Sending friendly smiles and little waves. But just as you stepped to the living room, you couldn't help the shock that went thru you.

He was sitting here with some girl. No, the girl was sitting on his lap and what was even worse, they were making out. How his left hand was running through her hair and how his other hand was on her waist, keeping her closer, just like he did before with you. All you could do was watch the scene before you.

"Y/n?" Joost's voice was barely making any sense, but he knew that was you who he was kissing right now. He was so sure of it.

"Actually I'm Mila."

"You're not Y/n? My Y/n?"

"I can be her, if that's what you want."

"You're not her?" Joost asked the girl that he assumed was you, but she pulled him back to kiss her. He wasn't complaining, but he was hoping that was you who he was kissing right now and not some random chick.

When they pulled away to breathe, Joost looked around the room and saw you standing in the back with a shocked face and how it, in a matter of seconds, turned into a pained expression. That was the real you. You weren't sitting in his lap right now.

What were you thinking?

It hurt. It all hurt so much. You really thought he felt something for you, just like you did for him. But you were wrong, so, so wrong. "Y/n?" His words were slurred. "C'mon it was just for fun, you know that right?"

Drunk words are sober thoughts.

You heard him say somewhere towards you in his now drunk state, you couldn't even properly look at him, all you could do in that moment was to turn around and leave. On your way out of the house, you passed by people that gave you this kind of sympathy look. Did they think you and him were together too? You weren't, and he made that crystal clear.

"Y/N!" He was calling for you to stop, but you didn't. "Y/n! Can you stop for a second?!"

"What!? What is it Joost!?" You turned to him, stopping in your tracks. Barely holding tears in your eyes.

"What's wrong with you?!" Joost almost shouted, but held himself back because of other people near you two.

"What is wrong with me?" You had to ask. "With me?"

"Yeah, you're acting like I fucked that girl right infront of you, and even if I did, we're not together so it doesn't matter."

"I can't believe this." You avoided eye contact with him. "I'm such an idiot." Whispering, you looked down, letting the tears freely fall.

"What? So it's mine fault?"

"No it's mine."

An awkward silence was between you two.

Joost sighed looking down and put his hands on his hips. "Look Y/n, let's just get inside, get some drinks and forget about it. It wasn't that big of a deal anyway." He insisted and took a few steps towards you, trying to reach for you, but you backed down. You turned back around and said.

"Yeah, you're right, it's not that big of a deal anyway."

With that, you made your way home.

---

That was two days ago, and from that time you felt like shit. You barely slept and eating food was bad too. F/n was worried about you, she insisted on talking to him, herself or you. But everytime she threatened, you told her to stop. That you're going to deal with it by yourself. She stopped after that.

Two fucking days.

Your phone was blowing with missed calls and hundreds of unread texts from Joost, but you didn't want to talk to him. Not right now. His words still hurt you. "It's not that big of deal anyway." Yes, you promised something to each other, but his words hunt you.

As you laid in your bed and re-thinking every detail of that night, soft knocking brought you out of your head. At first you didn't want to get up and answer, if it's important then they will try it later.

But the soft knocking was getting louder and more annoying. You slowly got up and made your way to the door. Ready to scream on anyone that was behind them.

"Y/n?"

That made you stop in your tracks. Joost? What was he doing here? You didn't want him near you at all. That's why you distanced everyone.

"Y/n, open the door."

His knocking stopped and you saw his shadow under the door and how he was stepping from one side to another.

"Open the door. Please."

Joost begged. And that's something you never heard from him before. Part of you wanted to let him in and hug him, but the other not at all.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for what I said that night." You heard him say behind the door. Him still waiting for you to open to him.

"You didn't say anything wrong. Only truth." You muttered on the other side.

"Yeah, but..." He sighed and leaned his head on the door. Closing his eyes for a moment before speaking again. "You didn't deserve that."

That made you cry. He was right, you didn't deserve it like that.

"I hear you cry." He lifted his head from the door and tried to open them again. "Please don't cry."

"You made me look so fucking stupid." You cried more. "I thought...I thought that we-"

"I'm sorry."

You took the handle and slowly opened the door, letting that awkward silence spread all around you and him.

"What do you want from me?" You finally asked as your eyes were red and swollen from crying for the past two days. Just like his.

"I don't know." He admitted. "Probably everything..."

"That's a lot."

"I know I want you in my life." He began. "I'm scared that if I told you how I feel, you're going to leave me like everyone else."

"And why would I do that?"

He didn't say anything to that. Like you had caught him off of guard. But that didn't mean that you felt any better. You wouldn't admit it, but you didn't feel better.

"My heart always seems to be disappointed." You admitted quietly, letting it sink in. "Maybe it was made just to be shattered into thousands pieces."

"No, no, don't say that. It's not the truth, you don't believe that." His eyes were pleasing yours to say otherwise, but he didn't find what he was looking for in them. "Do you?"

"What if I believe in that?"

Now you were more scared of his silence than your damaged heart. Is this it? Is this the very end of yours and Joosts path?

"Are you going to say something?"

"I'm sorry." He stepped closer and opened the door fully. "I'm sorry that I hurt you, I don't know what I was doing...I was drunk a-and I know that it doesn't change anything, but I'm still so sorry and I need you to know it." He kneeled before you and hugged your waist. Trapping you in his hold.

"Joost." You didn't know what to say. Or what to do at that moment.

"I love you." He breathed out. "I don't want you to disappear from my world, because you are my world."

You stopped breathing for a moment. He loves you? Joost loves you? From all of the people he knows and ever met, he loves you?

"I need you to know how I feel." Joost admitted and held your legs tighter. "I should have said that sooner."

---

A/n: I could do better.

Don't copy or translate my work!

[darkficsyouneveraskedfor]

Mise en Place 10

Warnings: noncon, coercion, manipulation. Proceed with caution.

Thanks all for reading and I hope you’re excited for this one. All feedback is more than welcome and loved and appreciated. Reblogs are most helpful.

Part of The Club AU

The walk back to the club is silent. You have a knapsack hooked over your shoulder as you keep your head down. You hurt bad as Thor shows you to a large red truck.  

You hug yourself with one arm as he opens the door. He stands back, waiting for you to climb up. You grit back as you reach for the interior of the door and lift a foot. You shake as you try to lift yourself and he catches you, hiking you up the foot of the ascent. You quickly wriggle away and drop into the seat. 

You clear your throat and keep your eyes aimed away from him, “thank you.” 

“Not at all, fawn, no effort at all,” he assures, “everything in?” 

You nod and curl your shoulders inward, making yourself as small as you can. He gentle shuts the door and you stare at the dashboard. He strolls around the hood, his size made even more obvious compared to the truck. Where the vehicle feels gargantuan to you, he seems to match it. 

He gets in the drivers seat, his weight shifting the axle, and he buckles in, reminding you to do the same. You grumble and click the belt into place. He asks if you need anything, you shake your head. You just want to sleep. 

He turns the engine, a loud rumble that mellows out to a hum, and he steers out of the lot. You turn your head to the window and watch the street lights pass. You bend your neck to hide a yawn as the silence persists. You wish he’d just left you at your apartment. 

Twenty minutes, maybe more, time smears with the streaks of coloured lights along the way. He pulls into the driveway of a walk-up and reaches above the rear view, tapping the button to open the garage door. He rolls into it and flips on the compartment light as the metal door shuts behind the truck. 

He kills the engine, the yellow light still shining in the cramped space. He glances over before he gets out, “still awake, fawn?” 

“Yep,” you reply as you undo your seat belt. “Thanks.” 

“Not at all,” he gets out on his side and leaves his door open. He shuffles around and flips on the overhead light in the garage. He turns back and reaches in to flip off the compartment light. He lingers and reaches across the seat. “Shall I carry your bag?” 

“I’m fine,” you insist and lean into the door as you push it open.  

You drop out onto the floor and can’t help but let out a squeak as your injured ankle throbs. You close the door and wrap your arms around your bag as you hobble around the front of the truck. Thor beckons you to a door, unlocking it then stepping back to let you through first. 

You enter and pause on the mat. You sidle out of his way and bend to put your bag down, the effort causing you to shake. You peel off your shoes as he turns on the light and illuminates the broad hallway of the townhouse. You knew by the outside alone how much nicer it was than your back alley apartment. 

You grab your bag and brace the wall as you stand straight. Your eyes dampen from the work of it. Such a simple act and it’s excruciating. You feel him watching you but you refuse to acknowledge that as your stare at the hardwood. 

“Right, let me get you settled,” he says, “how about a tea?” 

“No thanks, I’m tired,” you insists. 

“Of course, you would be, fawn,” he agrees, “come, let me show you the guest room.” 

“Oh... I don’t mind the couch--” 

“The state of you,” he interjects, “I couldn’t let you.” 

He points you up the hallway, “the bathroom is just here,” he intones, “the kitchen behind us, should you want for anything, please help yourself.” You only grumble. “Up stairs,” his voice dwindles, “mm, it’ll be a climb...” 

“I can make it,” you sniff. 

You turn around the banister and take the first step. It aches in every part of you. You hook your bag at your elbow and use your other arm to support yourself against the railing. You climb up a stair at a time, he follows right behind you. You’re staggered pace is embarrassing. 

As you get to the top, he gently touches your lower back and brushes by you. He turns left and you go to follow him. You stop short as he pulls open a closet and takes out a folded waffled blanket. He shuts the door and nods over your head. 

“Behind you, fawn, only want to make sure you have all you need,” he says, “a spare blanket, just in case.” 

You turn back and follow his direction to the door just to the other side of the staircase. He reaches around you to twist the handle and pushes it inward. He flicks the switch next to the door and steps back. 

You pass through the door, your body needy at the sight of the bed. It’s better than your futon, you can tell just by the look of it. Your reticence and pain keeps you from jumping into it. 

You move cautiously to the bench at the foot of the bed and put your bag down. You feel him behind you, lingering. You face him. He fills the whole door frame. Once more, his stature surprises you. It frightens you. 

The man who did this to you, he’s smaller. Average maybe, even if he worked out to access, but look at the damage he’s done. What could a man like Thor do? You repress as shudder and fold your arms, wincing at the tenderness in your ribs. 

“Thanks... again,” you murmur. 

“Not at all, fawn, if there’s anything else you require, simply let me know,” he says, “my door is across from yours, at a diagonal. Just a knock away.” 

“Mm, right,” you grumble, “think I’ll just sleep and be out of your hair in the morning.” 

“You are not trouble, fawn,” he assures you. 

You just nod, “good night.” 

“Yes, good night,” he purrs and stares at you for a moment before he grasps the door handle and backs out, reluctantly closing it from the outside. 

You sit gingerly on the bench and sigh. You don’t get it. Why is doing this? Are you really that pitiful? You close your eyes and rub them.  

You’ll set an alarm so you can head out early and get your apartment sorted—shoot, you still don’t have a phone. Well, that will be the first thing you deal with. You’ll just have to hope you wake up before him. 

[sanguinesky-if]

May I ask what your writing process is like? How do you keep your plotlines and characters organized???? - Sent from a practicing writer😭

Ps: Also, I love your game!

I'm glad you enjoyed the story!

How do you keep your plotlines and characters organized????

I'll try to explain, but I'm not sure if this will be helpful because I think everyone needs to figure out for themselves what works best for them, and there's no right recipe for that.

First, I should point out that I started writing my drafts a long time ago, so I've already written drafts up to Chapter 5, along with several files where the lore and main points of the story are outlined up to the different endings and their conditions.

Aside from the main drafts, I have a special 'trash bin' draft that contains over 43k words of cut content. These are ideas that I thought didn't work or had to abandon for various reasons.

I know it sounds like a lot of wasted time (and it actually is), but I don't regret it or the effort invested, knowing it was worth it because now I have a clear idea of what I want to see in the story and characters.

For me, having an idea is very important because it means having a framework for how story elements should look: I have freedom within this framework, but it also helps me not to get carried away or overdo things.

And considering I already brainstormed different ideas and figured out the main elements I want to include and what I certainly don't want to do, this is what really helps move the story forward.

I write using Google Docs, focusing mostly on events, dialogue, and points where the reader can make choices (I mostly focus on romance dialogues in the drafts and fill in the other choices once the coding has started).

If there are points or places I'm unsure about, I make a note and leave them blank, as about half of the variations and choices will be added directly during coding.

After the main idea has a layout in the draft, I translate everything I've written and paste it into a text file (I use Visual Studio because I prefer this program over others).

Once I have everything in the coding program and not just a blank file, I use a downloadable Visual Studio extension to bookmark places where I need to add more choices or variations because it's easier for me to see these when coding than in the draft.

After that, I start filling the file with more content, adding choices and variations considering different variables (from the appearance of the MC to the choices the reader made earlier).

Despite the fact that I find it very challenging to be consistent in a story where different choices can be made, I still try to approach everything systematically, keeping in mind the variety of choices I want or feel right to offer.

If I feel that I overdo something or something doesn't work, I cut out that content without any regret and keep it separate in case I need it in the future (that's why I keep my 'trash bin' draft).

When everything finally looks the way I want it to, I try to thoroughly check for grammatical errors and try to ensure the code works properly. I reread what I've written over and over again, correcting any errors or moments that seem odd to me, then start from the beginning again.

This is the most time-consuming and stressful part for me because English is not my native language. But I feel like I'm getting better with every update I write, so I try to focus on progress, knowing that fixing errors will help me write faster and better in the future.

Still, this all takes a lot of time, and I keep coming back to the story to reread and correct as necessary up until the update is released and even afterwards.

This is a rough description of the basic steps that I follow. The whole process is not perfect, but it works for me.

I would also like to point out that I'm getting a lot of help from my readers and supporters who help me decide about adding some options I wasn't sure about (a nickname for the MC, choices in the K scene, and another new option I'll tell you about in the next dev log).

I'm very grateful for that and to everyone who helped correct my errors.

Thank you for the question!

[sandyca5tle]

Slime HRT - 22 Months

Slime time again, and the goo keeps gooing.

General update on slime-ification - I’ve only got bones in my head left! All my musculature and squishy bits have dissolved now, so I’ve just got a skull floating in my goo. I noticed that all this dissolving happened way quicker than it had previously, which I’m guessing is due to my acid helping to break things down

I have to say, having your spine dissolve is very painful, turns out all those nerves do not enjoy being eaten away by acid/medicine. Additionally, having all those nerves change caused me to have various movement and coordination issues - I spend quite a bit of time over these past four months as a puddle of goo, just about able to shuffle towards food, which honestly sucked, not having proper control over my body is the exact opposite of what I want. Obviously there were moments when it was fine, and I was able to do things normally, but even then the pain typically persisted in the background.

One benefit has been that, since my spine fully dissolved, I’ve felt more in control of my body than ever, and while that might just be in contrast to having less-to-no control recently, I think I have actually improved. Some of my fine motor skills that I lost in the early stages have returned, and I can perform finer manipulations of and with my slime, and I just feel more connected to my body now, which is very neat.

I’ve been working under the assumption that my brain is still inside my skull, as I’ve heard you know when that goes, plus if I move my skull around I can get a little dizzy, so I’m pretty sure it’s still in there. On that note, yeah, I can move my skull around my body, since it’s the only part that isn’t goo, so there’s nothing really holding it in place. In theory I could take it out of my body, but I don’t wanna try that as I’m honestly afraid that could kill me (I think a lot of the lack of control while my spine was dissolving was due to the lack of connection to my brain to hold myself together while the nervous connections reconfigured to be slime), so for now I’ve got the neat party trick of being able to move my skull around my body.

Of course with all my fleshy bits melting away, I’ve had some interesting experiences with my senses and similar things. The first thing I’ll run through is eyesight - I didn’t have great eyesight before, but I found my eyesight slowly deteriorating which, especially combined with the struggle to remain coalesced from my spine degrading, was pretty terrifying. The only thing that kept me somewhat calm was being fairly certain that, as with my lungs, my body would learn to replicate the function of the organ. Fun fact - slimes don’t naturally have eyes, so when I lost my eyesight, it didn’t naturally come back. I sat for a decent while waiting in blackness, waiting for it to come back, much like I’d started absorbing air through my slime with my lungs, but it simply didn’t. The only reason I can see now is ‘cause I kinda just made it happen. I figured that even if it didn’t automatically happen, my body still had absorbed the organ, so it should be able to replicate its function, so I shaped myself some eyes, playing around with them until eventually I was able to see again. It seems short written out, but I was at this at least a good few hours, trying to work out how to replicate an eye - fortunately, it does seem like there’s at least an instinctive part of my new body that can help fill in gaps, so I didn’t have to consciously replicate every fine detail of an eye. 

I do have to say, it took me a while to fine tune everything, started off with it being all very blurry and desaturated, but I eventually found where I was before, and actually, once I took my glasses off, I was able to correct my eyesight altogether. I do wonder if I can go even further, but with the experience so fresh in my mind, I’d rather my body get used to having eyes again as a default before I mess around more. Despite 20/20 vision being very nice, it is a little sad for me to no longer need my glasses, I’d gotten used to them, and it’s kinda a shame to see them go. 

I do have to add, weird thing about slime eyes, since it’s all really just my slime seeing, I don’t need any depth to my eyes, frankly I don’t even need ‘eyes’ in the traditional sense - any part of my slime can see, I just have to choose to see from there and I can, so my eyes are just kinda indents in my face so that people have a reference point as to where I’m looking from. At some point I’ll mess around with additional eyes, but as before, I wanna make sure I don’t accidentally blind myself again.

Taste and smell are a pair that I’ll group together, since they’re linked in both humans and slimes anyways. Naturally, much like with my sight, I slowly lost both of them as the responsible parts were consumed by my slime, rendering me unable to taste or smell for a while. Honestly, compared to sight, this wasn’t such a bad loss - made meals very uninteresting for a while, but aside from that it was easy enough to work with. Honestly, I’m not sure I ever really got them back properly, despite trying, I was never able to force them back into being like I did with my sense of sight. One day I did begin to taste again I noticed, although I also noticed it had definitely changed. For one, I can kind of switch it on or off, and for another I can now taste anything I eat, regardless of if I put it in my mouth, or just absorb it. It’s neat, and also definitely adds to the lack of distinction between differently shaped parts of my body - my mouth doesn’t do anything special with regards to eating, it’s just habit to eat through there, I can eat, and taste, just as well through any part of my body.

Smell however hasn’t come back, well at least, not really in a human sense - I can ‘smell’ things, but it’s more like tasting the air, rather than actually smelling. I’m guessing it’s because I don’t have to breathe any more, so I’m not inhaling the particles, instead, I simply absorb them passively as I move around. Of course, since this is now tied to my taste, turning that off stops me from smelling, so I’ve been trying to find a middle ground where I don’t taste things all the time/don’t taste things I don’t wanna, but can still smell - haven’t quite found the sweet spot yet.

On the topic of the mouth becoming redundant as a defined part of my body, I also lost my voice once my vocal chords were subsumed. These, fortunately, were the easiest to restore, or at least achieve the same function, simply by vibrating my slime to produce sound. It took me a little while to work out how to do this, but given the amount of time I’ve spent learning how to shape my slime, it wasn’t too hard. I have to concede that at first it was very wet and gurgly sounding, but I spent time working to refine it, and now it sounds much better. The slightly funky part is that it does sound different to my old voice… which I’m not sure how to feel about - I wasn’t overly fond of my voice before but it was familiar, and suddenly having a new voice is weird - I’m still adjusting it to find a voice that’s overall closer to what I had before, but I am having fun playing around with it a little. Oh, and of course, as with tasting, since I can do this from anywhere on my body, again, the ‘speciality’ of my mouth is kind of redundant, it’s just simply a shape on my body which is familiar and a hangover from my time as a human.

Surprisingly, my hearing hasn’t been affected yet, not even sounding like I’m underwater - I’m guessing that since bones go last, my ear bones and all that haven’t gone yet… and that maybe my slime is acting in place of my eardrum, assuming that that has also been absorbed. I’m guessing that that’s gonna go at some point over the next few months.

As for the rest of what’s been going on, I’ve continued to try to practise controlling my acidity, and I’ve gotten a little better, I’m able to make portions of my body neutral pretty easily now, buuut if I stop focusing it immediately returns to acid, not to mention it’s only parts at a time. I did get a suggestion about using air pockets to produce safe areas within myself to store objects - kinda a fly in amber situation (y’know, since I’m literally sap) - which has been useful, although since I don’t breath anymore, providing the air has been a little difficult, but I worked out how to move air around with my slime so I can blow on things now, as well as make the pockets. Still gonna focus on my acidity control, but until I’ve got that down, I’ve got a good work around!

On the shaping front, I've added a few new features to my form. First, I gave myself horns, and made my ears kinda aquatic looking, kinda like fins, but ears, like merpeople are sometimes depicted with. Neither of these particularly do anything, but I like how they look. On the more ‘functional’ side I shaped myself a pair of cat ears, and some big ol’ dragon wings on my back, of course all made from slime. I put the ‘functional’ in quotation marks since neither really work for their intended function, so they’re also only decorative at this time, but I’m hoping I can get them to work eventually. The cat ears don’t work since I’m pretty sure I’m still reliant on my human hearing system which doesn’t connected to cat ears on the top of my head (unlike my fin-ears which just replaced/were reshaped from my old ears) and I haven’t worked out how to fly with the wings yet - and I’m honestly not sure if my slime will let me, gonna have to experiment more with them.

On top of all of these, and combined with having had a lot of issues holding my humanoid form over the past few months, I’ve actually been experimenting with a sort of slime ball form. It’s very nice, small, and definitely adds to my feeling of ‘slimeness’, plus it’s a form that fits my skull pragmatically and aesthetically (main reason i haven’t shrunk my humanoid form is ‘cause i’d have to keep my head approximated the same size to house my skull, which’d lead to weird proportions). Only issue is, while the hopping isn’t exhausting (no need to breathe and no muscles means exertion isn’t as bothersome) it does kinda rattle my skull, and therefore brain, around which makes me a little dizzy. 

Kinda can’t believe I’m saying this, but I can’t wait for my brain to go and leave me fully slime, it’s gonna be so awesome!

See y’all next time! Goobye! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------

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@calliecwrites, @friedsputnik, @now-entering-the-goop-zone, @scrubbinn, @lilacinthefog, @mint-and-authoress, @losttodreams, @redroversendjayover, @ariathelamia, @kanithedemoncat, @copperweave

[skyloftian-nutcase]

For @silvrash-797’s baby shower! :D Congratulations, girl!! ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

Have some Ganondorf + kids, paired with Link + his daughter, paired with bedtime stories and yeah. Anyway, hope you enjoy! ❤️

Ganondorf truly had found that of all his quests and grand plans, the most difficult missions in his life had been to reel in his children.

He loved them dearly, truly. But by the goddesses, they could push him to his limits. Having just tracked down his daughter, who was most certainly the troublemaker of his twin children, he had finally dragged her and her boyfriend back to the capital, keeping his temper evident but silent as he practically deposited them on the ground. Link’s coughing brought him no sympathy from the Gerudo king, though he clearly wasn’t looking for any. Hemisi was completely unapologetic, and it was immediately apparent that the pair’s disappearance had been her idea.

Of course it had. The girl was a menace; she had her father’s tenacity and fiery temper paired with her mother’s mischievousness. The girl was a spitfire and Ganondorf adored her for it.

Except when she snuck off to forbidden places with someone who needed to be resting. Honestly, getting Link to understand the meaning of self preservation was proving to be difficult enough, but pairing it with Hemisi’s seeming lack of concern for either of their well-beings made Ganondorf wonder what the heck he’d done wrong in raising his daughter.

Why did teenagers think they were indestructible? It was beyond frustrating.

Hemisi decided to try and test the waters. “Come on, Father. We’re fine, and it wasn’t even that bad!”

He didn’t have time for this. He couldn’t exactly punish Hemisi too severely since tomorrow’s plans were being set in motion by Nabooru right now, and he needed Hemisi for it. Instead, he just glowered at the girl before directing his ire at Link. The boy looked reasonably apologetic, but offered no feeble words to excuse himself, which was frankly a little surprising as he was the polite, placating one usually.

“Get in bed,” Ganondorf grumbled to the boy. “And stay there this time. I expected more obedience from you. Not to mention you’re risking Hemisi’s health by being near her.”

The way the teenager wilted gave Ganondorf a little satisfaction, but Hemisi immediately jumped to his defense. “Oh, stop it, Dad! He’s not going to get me sick too; he’s feeling better! You should’ve seen him fighting the monsters down there, he’s fine!”

Ganondorf briefly entertained the curiosity in his mind that wanted to see Link fight – he’d seen glimpses of it in sparring matches, but that wasn’t the same. Orik had managed to defeat Merovar in every fight, and he and Hemisi were equals. To see him in a real fight would be interesting. Nevertheless, the boy had sand fever, and though he was doing far better now than he had been the other day, there was still always a risk that he could get sicker again or worse, give it to Hemisi. “I don’t care for your excuses, Hemisi. I expected you to know better. You wish to be treated as an adult, yet you still make decisions like a child.”

Hemisi puffed out her chest, getting riled up. Link dragged himself into bed with some effort to try and appease the situation, and Hemisi hopped on the mattress just beside where he’d settled.

“No,” Ganondorf immediately ordered. “You, daughter, are sleeping in your own room.”

“I will,” she scoffed, rolling her eyes before her anger seemed to settle into something else. “But can’t we all just hang out a bit? Maybe you could tell us a story? We’ll exchange stories! I can tell you about what we saw down there.”

“You disobey my orders and think you can regale your disobedience to me like it’s a tale of legend?” Ganondorf snapped. “You are pushing my patience, Hemisi.”

“Father.” Now she was trying pleading, petitioning to his soft spot for her with her tone. “We were simply curious. And Link was going stir crazy.”

“Link is sick. He needs to rest.”

“With all due respect, my lord—“

“No.” Ganondorf interrupted the boy. “Be silent and go to sleep.”

Link’s mouth snapped shut, and he practically deflated, sinking into the pillows.

“Come on, Dad,” Hemisi petitioned more gently, something genuine in her tone this time. “We… we never get to all really just… hang out anymore, you know? The Festival of Colors has been so nice because we’ve all been together just having fun. Can’t you just tell us a story? I’ll even grab Merovar.”

“You know your brother isn’t interested in my stories anymore,” Ganondorf noted, far less annoyed and perhaps a little… he didn’t know. His chest felt tight at her words. Of course they hadn’t had much time – he’d had planning to do. The Triforce would soon be theirs, and then they’d have all the time in the world for each other. And he wasn’t at all upset in the slightest at Merovar outgrowing such moments like this. He wasn’t.

“That’s because he’s stupid,” Hemisi fired back dully, eliciting a laugh from her father. “Link and I will listen. You haven’t told me any stories in a while, and you’ve never told Link any.”

Ganondorf sighed a little, glancing at Link halfheartedly. He didn’t mind indulging Hemisi, but Link… well, there was little point in not doing so. Life was about to change a great deal for this child as well, and Ganondorf knew he would be lying if he said he didn’t care about him at this point. “Do you care for stories, boy?”

Link’s red eyes sparkled a little, curious. “If… you don’t mind.”

“Dad’s an amazing storyteller,” Hemisi noted supportively, elbowing Link and smiling at her father. Ganondorf felt his chest warm and swell with pride at it, and he finally sighed, letting himself smile a little.

This girl, honestly. He couldn’t stay angry at her. “Very well. I’ll tell you about the Dragon Huntress.”

Hemisi’s eyes widened as she gasped in delight. “Oh, I love this one! Get comfortable, Link, it takes eighty years for him to tell—”

“You just complimented my storytelling abilities.”

“I didn’t say it was bad, it’s just long! And that’s not a bad thing! We can sleep through some of it.”

Ganondorf didn’t bother hiding his unimpressed expression. Children always made for the most difficult audience, but he’d thought it would improve with teenagers. To his credit, Link still seemed eager and interested, so Ganondorf sighed heavily and settled on the edge of the bed.

“Very well. Long ago, in the distant past, there was a fearsome dragon. It dominated the skies, elusive and powerful, with teeth that could snap bones and a mouth that could swallow cities whole. There was a Gerudo warrior at the time who swore to hunt down the dragon and destroy it after it took her parents from her. But the challenge was that she was of the desert, and the beast of the sky – how could she possibly hunt down such a monster and destroy it?

“The challenge was a formidable one, but the warrior decided she would fulfill it. She had to leave the protection and familiarity of her homeland, moving from the oasis into the great sand sea to the south, where the dragon often roamed. At first, it was a long, grueling walk. The sun scorched her during the day, drying her throat so much it felt as if she were swallowing the sand itself. With every step she took she could feel the heat pulling away her energy. But with every dune she crossed, she grew more determined, for she would not let the desert conquer her before she could reach her target.

“After several days’ journey, the warrior crossed yet another dune to find a new curiosity. The desert was different here, with patches of different colors like paint droplets on a canvas. Just to the left was blue, filled with water like an oasis but surrounded by pink and yellow flowers. To the right was green, grass waving in the breeze only to be choked out by more sand just beyond its little borders. Everywhere she looked there was patchwork of nature, magic sparkling in the air like fireflies.

“‘What is this land,’ she wondered curiously, ‘where Farore can piece together every fabric of the world into one place like a quilt?’

“The warrior stepped from one patch to another, one moment feeling a cool evening breeze on her face, relieving her of the dry, hot breath of the desert, and the next, dipping her toes in mud, sloshing in marshland and getting a bitter chill. As she moved forward, she heard a small cry, and she saw a curious-looking little creature. Its tiny paws were dark as the night sky, but its coat was the color of sand, tail small and ears large. It was stomping into the earth with gusto, echoing a phrase over in frustration as it moved, scratching here, pouncing there.

“‘What is the matter?’ The warrior asked the creature.

“‘Why, I lost my marbles!’ The magical fox replied.”

Here, his story was interrupted with an amused snort from Hemisi, who giggled as if she hadn’t heard this tale before, giving Link seeming permission to chuckle a little as well. It had admittedly been a while since he had regaled anyone with the story of the Dragon Huntress, and it was… a nice reprieve to have this moment.

Ganondorf spoke on, telling the pair of the warrior’s journey with the creature to retrieve little magical stones that held pieces of the world within them. With each stone was a new adventure, with each recovery was a new discovery. For one stone, she had to traverse a land of fire, helping Mr. Salamander retrieve his stolen eggs from a local demon who had taken them, including the magical stone the warrior needed. In another adventure, the warrior had to learn how to breathe underwater, in another she sang so beautifully she moved a tree spirit’s weary, heavy heart and it revealed where one of the stones were. This particular tale was so long because it was showing how the warrior lost her way, how she spent so much time getting involved in retrieving these magical stones, and all the misadventures and creatures she had to assist in doing so diverted her from her main goal. The story never really had a true ending – when the warrior finally retrieved all twelve marbles, she simply… stayed with her fox friend in the magical land she’d discovered. It was a cautionary tale, in Ganondorf’s mind, to never lose sight of one’s goal.

He planned to not make the same mistake as the ancient warrior.

Surprisingly, Link stayed awake for the entirety of the folktale, while Hemisi steadily fell asleep on his shoulder. The boy’s body was sagging steadily in exhaustion, but he hung on to every word, a captive audience caught in the wonders of the descriptions Ganondorf was giving him. He smiled and laughed softly in certain parts, looked worried in others, but never interrupted, never faltered despite looking utterly spent from his adventures earlier in the day. When Ganondorf reached the conclusion of the tale, he picked Hemisi up (he knew the girl would wake up from the movement, but she didn’t protest being held on rare occasions) and tucked Link in.

“So she… never got to the dragon?” Link asked quietly.

Ganondorf paused in the doorway, considering it. “I’d like to think she did, someday. When she came to her senses.”

The world changed a few days later. Golden grace split into three, the fires of war scorched the land, and their lives changed forever.

But many years later, the King Consort of Hyrule sat in the nursery, his sweet little princess on his lap and held in his gentle embrace. He’d only just started talking again recently, but he wanted Sonia to hear him speak more, as she’d almost lost her voice due to his own silence. As such, he figured he could tell her stories at night, to help her settle to sleep. He’d gone through a couple Sheikah tales that he knew, but he admittedly didn’t have much repertoire in storytelling.

And then he remembered a Gerudo story from long ago. He remembered the cool desert night, huddled up against Hemisi, body aching from illness and exertion but heart full of peace and joy. He remembered Ganondorf, deep voice low and gentle instead of menacing and terrifying, face soft and eyes welcoming instead of harsh and threatening. He remembered his story of the warrior who hunted a dragon and lost her way in all the little quests to help others.

At first, he didn’t even want to tell this fable. It felt like the words would poison his mouth, like spreading something around that that monster had told him would somehow bring him back. His heart ached at even thinking of a time when he and Hemisi had been together, when he’d almost had a family. But there… there was no harm in regaling his daughter with images of Gerudo folklore. He couldn’t let the past keep hurting him so much. And he had a family now, right here, right in front of him. He wouldn’t let Ganondorf ruin that for him, for his daughter, for anyone. So he started in on the tale of the Dragon Huntress, and oh how Sonia loved it, how she excitedly emphasized points she enjoyed and how she giggled, how she grew peaceful with the rumble of Link’s quiet voice, how she settled in her father’s loving arms.

And as Link told the story to his daughter, he pondered over the message it relayed, how Ganondorf had insisted that it was a cautionary tale about keeping focus on one’s goal. But as Link spoke to Sonia of each new adventure the warrior went on, and all the people she helped, and all the friends she made, and all the new things she discovered, he started to realize the legend’s true meaning. It wasn’t until he got to the adventure of the graveyard of fireflies, where the warrior had to help her newest friend, who was grieving, that it truly struck him.

It had never been about losing one’s way. It had been about closure and learning to live again. The warrior had been risking her life on the chance of revenge, on eliminating a beast that had taken everything from her, but through her quest to retrieve the magical little marbles for her new friend, she’d discovered peace.

Link felt his own eyes sting as he finished up the tale, Sonia sleeping peacefully in his arms.

Years later, the little princess had grown into a young woman, with a family of her own. And she told the tale to her children, just as her father had told her.

Millennia later, in the ruins of a village in the desert, Ganondorf gazed at the fire, the new Hero of Hyrule sitting across from him. The other Gerudo had passed the time telling stories, and it seemed it was now Link’s turn.

“Well, I’m afraid I don’t know much,” the young captain started. “But Zelda had one story she loved a lot. I don’t remember all the details, but I remember the overall plot.”

“Let’s hear it, then,” one of the women prompted.

“It’s called the Dragon Huntress,” Link started, and oh how Ganondorf’s gaze snapped to him. Link didn’t seem to notice, wrapped in the blanket he shared with Lana; he’d captured his audience’s attention and that was all he cared about. It was strange, really, how different he was from…

Ganondorf bit his tongue, pushing away the overwhelming, nauseating pain in his heart.

“Long ago, a Gerudo warrior tried to hunt down a dragon that had taken her parents from her.”

Goddesses, how did the boy know this story? How did he know a Gerudo tale in a land where the Gerudo were seemingly forgotten? And he’d heard it from the queen?

Had… had that child… after everything…

“On her journey, she met a magical fox. He’d lost little stones, magical marbles, and she promised to help him find them. But each stone was in a different place, and each one required a different problem to solve. I remember a few, like the one where she had to sail across a giant river with an otter who captained a ship, and another one with fireflies, I think? But anyway, the point was that she spent all her time going on these adventures and making new friends, and she realized that she had been obsessing over something that was never going to bring her parents back. So she learned to be happy with what she had, and she learned to move on.”

She… but that wasn’t how the story…

“So she… never got the dragon?”

Goddesses, he hadn’t heard that boy’s voice in so long. He could still feel the weight of his precious daughter resting in his arms, could still see the tired, quiet curiosity in young Link’s eyes.

It had been so long, yet this story lived on. And it had lived on because Link had decided to tell it to his children.

She learned to be happy with what she had, and she learned to move on.

Ganondorf’s gaze drifted upward, following the sparks from the fire until they blended into the stars of the sky. He breathed in slowly, feeling his chest tighten, feeling his eyes sting, and then he let go with a deep, shuddering exhale.

[glass--beach]

hi j!

my highschool band and I played for the first time at a small music fest. we only sang covers and we're not very good lol, but we kinda want to start making some songs ourselves!!

do you have any tips for songwriting? how do you choose themes and melodies, and what's your process with glass beach?

doing covers is a good place to start! i like to learn songs i like and then try to take them apart and try to understand what parts i like the most and why they work. i do most of my songwriting by playing some chords and humming or singing until i find stuff that works. you can even take chords from an existing song to start with, lots of songs reuse chord progressions. lyrics usually come way way later. once you find two sections that feel connected but contrast each other a bit you're golden (verse and chorus is enough, you can figure out bridges later)

i like to structure melodies as a "question" and "answer", so every first phrase ends in an uncertain place (any note other than the 1st note of the scale, the 3rd and 5th note of the scale are usually good options) and every second phrase ends on a resolved note (the 1st note of the scale, OR the 3rd or 5th if the first phrase ended on a note besides those two). this is more of a guideline than a rule though, plenty of great melodies don’t do that but i find that method to be reliable. i hope that makes sense

next bit of advice i have is to just try to write as many songs as possible, and don’t take it too seriously, especially if songwriting is new to you. spending a really long time trying to get one song perfect can be a trap. lots of people will just idly sing little made up songs to themselves, or to their pets or whatever, that’s the kind of stuff i’m talking about, goofy and frivolous. it should be fun! that’ll give you a lot of practice and make writing more “serious” songs a lot more comfortable. lots of my oldest songs were conceived as jokes.

if you’re trying to write with your band i say take a really simple chord progression (like 2 chords even, definitely no more than 4) and just loop it over and over and jam on it and try our different ideas. you really can write a song with just two chords, I - IV is a good progression for that (ie D - G, C - F, E - A).

this was kinda disorganized and stream of consciousness but i hope it helps! i have spent so long honing my songwriting craft but it is very difficult for me to explain how i actually think about it. keep in mind there’s pretty much no rules and the best thing you can do for yourself is make songwriting fun! good luck writing some songs!!

[stuck-in-the-ghost-zone]

@intertexts BEHOLD. NEW HAVEN WARDS: THE WIBBY AND DAVID DYNAMIC ESSAY. this got way too fucking long 2 put in ur inbox so im making a post about it. ENJOY THE STICK FIGURE VIOLENCE <3

okay im just gonna start from the beginnign here and try not to get too sidetracked as i go (<< me when i lie) um. so. still not entirely clear on what williams trigger event would be so that may change how some of this works out logistics wise. but just assuming it would be SOMEWHAT similar to pd- william dies/has his near death experience and is Changed By It. in obvious ways that are impossible to hide. his parents find out because he had been missing for days and presumed dead so when he came back home covered in mud and dried blood and Different, everyone kind of broke down. they know about his powers from the start. william hates them (the powers, not his parents) but his dad especially has always been very supportive of capes and urges william to use them for something good! his mom, who has always grieved the lack of a relationship between her two sons, brings up the suggestion "hey, you know what! yeah! your older brother just so happens to live in a city with a really good cape population, maybe you can go live with him for a bit while you go to school <3" (<< this is also going off the assumption that the general public doesnt really. understand. capes much. his parents dont know theyre signing him up to be a child soldier and die before 40. they love him so much and just want the best for him- if they knew about all that they wouldve never even made the suggestion. but they see how much his powers are hurting him and theyre grieving the death of their youngest son who is still. awake and sitting in his bedroom. and i dont think any of them know how to deal with that)

william, not really having a place to argue from or another option to even consider, reluctantly agrees. hes too caught up in the fear and worry and unpredictability of his powers to even imagine himself as one of the heroes. but he goes anyway. and lives with david. its just as painfully icy as you imagine- david never signed up to be a permanent babysitter, i imagine theres a lot of. phonecalls overheard through the walls of his apartment of david on the phone with their mom asking if this was some sort of punishment. david spends all his time at his office and never takes time to even get to know william. he still takes care of him- he has the money for a penthouse apartment and keeps groceries stocked- but its not like theyre having cozy family meals every night. this does wonderful things for williams mental health obviously. which im sure makes his powers feel so much better (<< this is sarcasm). they dont talk much. obviously. william knows david works for/runs a branch of some tech company but thats about the extent of his knowledge and he never cares to ask further details than that. theres a little bit of resentment there on williams side (william wisp, known jealous petty little bitch- "i thought you were the first good thing to come out of deadwood"). david is someone who's important and has his life together and william is. in his own mind. a freak.

after joining the wards program and meeting dakota and virion and such. william IMMEDIATELY decides he is going to spend less and less and less time at davids place. and so the fucking. chasm between them grows. mutual good riddance. (they dont hate each other. theres just. not a whole lot of care there. but theyre still family, yknow?) and its just like. the BARE MINIMUM amount of contact. william stops by davids place to like. get stuff from his bedroom. uses davids apartment as storage for things he can't keep at the wards base (are teen superheroes allowed to smoke? i imagine that cant be good for their public image). so its not like they totally cut contact theres just. even less of it than there was before.

and then william learns about the SIGNIFICANT importance of keeping your cape and civilian identities separate. any villain who learns who you are behind the mask can be a threat to not only you but also your family. william, who loves his parents very much and knows they love him back, wants to protect them at all costs. conveniently, he doesn't live with his parents anymore. his current guardian just so happened to keep their mom's maiden name. so what does he do! bam. easy fix, change your last name to match with your brother. satisfies the heroes a little bit because its that extra step harder to connect william with people outside the city, AND its not suspicious on the civilian side either because. i mean he still matches surnames with his family. surely this will not come back to bite him (foreshadowing). i think it would be PERFECTLY in character and slimy for david to get a kick out of this name change btw. its been weeks since theyve spoken full sentences to each other but the next time william goes back to the apartment david is there at the kitchen table and just kind of laughs at the paperwork like "aw, little brother, i didn't realize you liked living with me that much. im flattered" etc. etc. eugh

behold! i can call him wibby now. awesome. so cool. anyway.

blahblah whatever whatever. im saying for au convenience david lives in new haven even though in pd canon he technically lives in freedom city. don't worry about it. HOWEVER. this becomes important. new haven wards are like?? vaguely sometimes in contact with the wards of the nearest settlement with a significant cape population- freedom city! this is alan, x, cantrip. I think they probably have like. fun friendly sparring matches sometimes (like the cage matches where they first met but like... legal. and mario kart!) but aren't close enough to be Friend Friends. freedom city wards uncover some shady underground company using illegal research (nhw equivalent of harttawa? dying 2 link this back to mark somehow bc im always thinking abt him but i KNOW u have plans for him already and im dying 2 know them) to give people artificial powers (connected to cauldron in some way but not obvious about it. ill explain this more in a minute) and guess who this gets linked back to. our one and only lovely wicked david bell. freedom city wards don't know williams connection to him since they wouldn't know his civ name. I don't think he would tell them. i also don't think they would actually TALK to David here like they do in canon, i think the heist goes a little more successfully and he's not actually physically THERE so all that happens is that they sneak in and see a bunch of files/papers. and william makes the connection with David's name and maybe picture. but the whole. killing a bunch of guards still happens. "its okay they're villains" etc. i don't know who would run freedom city wards program but they're more. loose about the rules than in new haven. which is why xavier and cantrip are Like That.

anyway on the way back to new haven william is REALLY shaken and dakota and virion obv pick up on that right away (i think they'd also know OF williams brother but not a lot of details bc he never talks about him.) william tells them that that was David and doesn't know what to do etc etc . I think he avoids the apartment for a looooot longer than he usually does because he doesn't want to accidentally run into David there and have to confront this. I think he's probably shell shocked by the idea a little- david is VERY MUCH against the hero program and doesn't like capes at all and is very vocal about that fact (this is pd canon too)!! why the fuck would he be working with the company that gives people powers and Makes More Capes! even though his mystery solving brain is going into overdrive thinking about the reasons and details and minutae of this discovery, william is also chronically avoidant of all his personal problems so i don't think he does any digging into it yet. until. well. the freedom city wards go missing

they on the other hand DID do a lot more digging into this. and david caught on to them and we end up with the scene in the basement . this is where I'm gonna get sidetracked bc there's a lot of information I'm thinking about at the beginning of all this

when william/vyncent/tide get there it's a very similar scene to in pd. x and cantrip are chained up, david has allen cut open on a table. william is. HORRIFIED. maybe even moreso than in pd.

x is even more immediately hostile to william when he and cantrip wake up because part of the information they uncovered in doing their own digging was the fact that david and william are related. and this pisses x off SO BAD because william never told them. and I think he uses wills secret identity against him and that's part of the reason william is SO DESPERATE to stop him. Just imagining that scene in the hallway at the beginning where they're screaming at each other and x just goes "that's your fucking *brother?* you're related to that monster and you never thought to, yknow, share that little bit of information with us?! william bell?????" and as soon as x says his name william just SNAPS and swings the axe at him .

anyway. back to the basement scene. david does his whole manipulative villain monologue with a scalpel to Allen's heart and we learn David is the head of an offshoot branch of cauldron (thinking about like maybe where they sell the vials to people under the guise of experimental medical treatment? for their own research purposes on how the vials affect people. real unethical shit! I feel like I need 2 learn more about cauldrons motivations before I set this in stone though) . anyway. we also learn here that david Has Fucking Powers. I don't know exactly what those would be right now but I think they would be pretty... inconsequential and at a really low power rating, but just that fact alone is enough for him to almost lose william completely.

this whole time william is just full of this icy dread and betrayal, but as SOON as david reveals he has powers that all just snaps to rage. comparable to that feeling where you've been bullied for something for years and then one day everyone decides that same thing is cool now. ("how long. how *long*, david? did you have these powers while you shunned me, sat on the phone with mom in the other room complaining about how much of a freak your little brother is? how *painfully sad* it is for you to share an apartment with the corpse of your baby brother, trying to get mom to pity you enough to take me back and get me out of your hair?")

and ofc david being who he is has some sort of slimy manipulation that saves his ass and gets william back on his side. tide and virion being there they immediately see right the FUCK through it but I think william would be compromised enough at that point that he wouldn't be thinking clearly enough to listen to them. (also side note . like I said I'm VERY undecided on what davids powers would actually be but the two ideas I've been bouncing back and forth are a) some kind of medical Thinker which is how he knows how to put allen back together the right way or b) some kind of Master which makes the manipulation thing worse <3. so maybe wibby is compromised bc davids using his powers on him. if it's the second option. smile!)

anyway wibby goes on his nightmare arc. right. even more fucked up bc of what x says to him about his identity. I actually think a lot of this stays the same but just with the addition of context and also the thing I said yesterday about the guards radioing to each other to evacuate.

everything happens pretty much the same with cantrip and he and virion getting back to the office only to find everything totally wiped clean already. william still does the Nightmare Thing in davids apartment afterward. still undecided in whether or not their parents will be there? I guess it depends on what we do with the trickster. (oh god I haven't even thought about the trickster irt new haven wards. fuck!) . I think actually I'm leaning more toward having them NOT being there? because I think william reigned himself in because he didn't want to scare them too much. and this is worm world i don't WANT wibby to reign himself in at all. I want him to go fucking nightmare apeshit.

btw this whole time? virion stays with him and it scares the SHIT out of him. he's still going to stay because ... this is william. this is his best friend (gay) and he HAS to trust that he knows what he's doing. I think afterward william stands up, david still unconscious on the floor, and there are silent tears streaming down his face and there's this expression of rage and betrayal and grief on his face that virion has NEVER seen on another person. so he reaches out to put a hand on his shoulder or maybe offer a hug (which in my mind is HUGE for him bc I've been imagining virion being SUPER careful and sort of avoidant about physical touch bc of his powers) but then william goes to brush his hand away as he walks out of the room and there's just the briefest moment of skin to skin contact. and it only lasts for maybe a second but virion gets this BURST of williams powers and it's terrifying. he can see and feel and hear and know *exactly* what william just did. it goes away almost immediately but the force of it is enough to throw virion off balance for a second as he processes it and when he comes to again he is just. shaking. and he doesn't say anything to william but he *knows* now and he doesn't know what to do with that information. hes scared out of his fucking mind but he's also. sad. he's REALLY fucking sad his best friend (gay) just had to do something like that. and he's not good with words so he doesn't say anything but he stays there. he stays by williams side despite everything. ughahhvhh

uhhhh final note. pain and suffering. william gets a whole Fucking Complex about sharing a name with david after this. but he still doesn't change it back to wisp because he knows x knows his identity now. which means he doesn't know how many other people could know, how many other people x will tell out of spite as a way to get back at him (<< william wisp paranoia WIN) and it's. LEAGUES better that any potential enemies would come after david and hurt david. (in fact he probably privately wishes for something like that to happen. hed never say that out loud though). using his name as a kind of shield even though it hurts like hell to be connected to his brother like that.

anyway! yeah! wisp-bell brothers torment nexus or whatever!

[puppyeared]

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