#and Little White Lie is from like 2009

[butterfly-pond]

I know this is a Starkid deepcut, but

npmd's "The Best of You" has strong Little White Lie energy.

[darknight3904]

The preview to the next part of my Gojo x reader fic.

December 2009

"Do you honestly think he'll like that?" You ask eyeing the expensive coat Gojo has just purchased.

"Tsumiki liked hers. Besides, Megumi needs a nicer one, the one he has is too small on his arms." He dismisses you

"Sure but..."

You glance down at all the many bags the white-haired man had accumulated over the past few hours. You had ended up at the mall with him after finding out how little the kids had in way of clothes and just possessions in general. You were all for Christmas shopping but Satoru was taking things pretty far.

"Alrighty...I think we went to every store." He says as the two of you step into a crowded elevator.

"You think?" You smile

"Are you mocking me?" He asks

"I'd never." You lie

You shuffle closer to him as people shift around to get out on their stop, but suddenly a sour smell fills the elevator. You look up at the sun-glass-wearing idiot to see a smirk on his face. He must've been the cause.

"Ah sorry about that everyone. She's feeling a bit gassy. Must've been the broccoli we had from Panda Express!" He announces

You're positively mortified as a man in a stylish suit shoots you a glare and steps away from you.

Gojo's cackling is so loud, you could probably hear it all the way back at the school where Nananmi was watching the kids.

"Don't you ever do that again, idiot!" You scold as your voice carries through the parking deck

"It's not my fault you let it out in an elevator of all places!" He laughs

"You're a liar!" You say, shoving his shoulder

"Careful! What if I dropped these bags? What would you tell the kids then?" He asks

"I'd tell them you're a man with a fancy credit card who can't hold his farts in when he's in public." You say

"And if I held it in? What if it builds up and explodes inside me?" He asks, totally serious

"Good, one less freak in the world." You huff

Gojo dramatically gasps and pretends to faint by leaning onto you.

"Get off! Your fat ass is crushing me! All those sweets must be adding up!"

It's not until you're back in the car that Gojo stops laughing about the elevator, even now, his giggles are breaking the silence.

"Do you actually think my ass has gotten fat?" He asks, "All the squats I've been doing must be paying off."

The nerve of this man.

Out now. Check it out here.

ꜱᴇʀɪᴇꜱ ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ

[dq-avenquire]

Omg hi aven I hope you are doing so so so well grrrrr!! I saw your DQIX boss tier list and I just wanted to ask since I am so curious like! I know you gave some thoughts about the bosses in the tags but your thoughts on tarantula in specific got me thinking because them being interesting yet weak as a boss fight is like. So real ?? Literally huh?? And it's a SHAME because the Bloomingdale story is one of my favorites from the main game! So I just wanted to ask like, what standout bosses felt narratively gripping but weak as a boss fight? Did any feel kinda eh for you storywise but actually got your blood pumping a little?? I am just so curious lmao. Everytime I see you gush about DQIX it feels like I am a starry (hehe) eyed kid who got transported back to 2009 waakwkwajjansnssns

P.s I hope your party/parties are questing well!!!

this is so shameful i did not see this i am so sorry scuffle my friend sniffle....i will ramble so much just for you. (i hope you can feel me beaming astral gratitude at you, you are very kind to me) OKAY SO. spoilers for most of dqix ahead tread carefully questers!!! the post our dear friend scuffle is speaking of is this one here where im tiering boss's based on very arbitrary and specific criteria, and im gonna go into more depth rn: disjointed rambles lie ahead beware!!!

i spoke a bit about tyrantula already but - while i dont know if i just happen to be overlevelled everytime i get to bloomingdale or if its just scaled weirdly - shes always absurdly easy for me to beat. ive never felt like im chipping away at her, its always more. okay well theres like 3 turns left moving on. and then shes gone! and thats such a shame given my already long standing feelings on tyrantula. there is something to be said in regards to her being weak potentially fitting nicely into the story if we see it as a sort of "marion(ette) wouldve been easy to save, but no one ever did" kind of concept, but thats almost definitely not what was intended so it feels a little. unearned, i suppose. especially given that the reward is the massive boat and no true happy ending for marion(ette)

story wise i'll admit i was actually kinda :/ about leviathan and porth llaffan - i was really attached to jona because i thought her accent and design was really cute, but the actual build up itself was not particularly interesting to me for whatever reason (felt a little generic? not sure, i found a good chunk of newid isle to be a bit "going through the motions-y", even if i really enjoyed the tower of trades itself*) (my issue lay more with the cave than the story). the boss fight however? i struggled with that SO MUCH as a kid. something about the waves he summoned DESTROYED my team repeatedly and i remember getting so incredibly invested in trying to JUST barely pull through. repeated heart racing and wishing that there was a health bar so i could at least tell if i was even remotely NEAR close to beating it. finally seeing that flash of white with the last hit really got me, and the following scene with jona and her father kinda pulled the whole thing together for me! i really liked going back to porth llafan to talk to jona every once in a while, even if her dialogue didnt change. my friend :) * want to clarify. i definitely didn't Dislike anything, i think i was just so enamoured and curious about the whole whale summoning thing the ghost was talking about, and then having the focus be turned on "youre going through a cave now" without much extrapolation on this village's non celestrian based worship made me a little disappointed, so by contrast 9 year old me was WAY more excited by going on to bigger places. perhaps also part of my conflict was that i actually beat the porth llafan section BEFORE alltrades. im not even sure if i went to alltrades abbey at all before beating the whale. probably didnt help some of it feeling a little jumbled!

that being said, i think the boss ive come around on most is either goreham hogg and/or the master of nu'un! i ranked goreham hogg pretty low but feel the need to clarify that part of that is just that hes REALLY fun to hate. hes this awful, opulent beast of a boss who destroyed me age 9 and ran/runs that sincerely horrific slave camp/prison so its easy to dislike him! thats good! hes a villain! im MEANT to not like him, and given how much i ADORE goresby purrvis (for being so cool) and hootingham gore (for his sick design) its probably important that i want to sincerely kill at least one of them. there is very little i truly dislike about dq9, since i tend to have Fun getting mad about things in a cathartic sort of way.

re: master of nu'un - he was a boss i never found particularly standout, and found weirdly anti climactic when put in contrast of this weird and mysterious tower (that has no clear purpose btw i need to talk about that in depth sometime what the fuck is the tower of trades actually there for from a worldbuilding perspective im so intrigued) and then this strange glowing room (which is literally referred to as the ??? room in the wiki btw. isnt that sick) where this priest weve been looking for is just. transformed. and that transition is really cool honestly!! i imagine it wouldve been more monumental to me if id done things in order, since i wouldnt have seen the fyggs in action yet, and in theory it also makes a really interesting narrative precursor to corvus (see my previous notes on jack abott and his parralels to the player) but i feel like his abilities and attacks were just a bit...eh? no super standout animations, which is a shame given that he does a quirky little "hehe what should my new evil name be....high jack....jackrilege maybe ....." before the fight and implies some sick mischief in him that doesnt really get communicated further. i think some of my feelings on this got sorta cemented when (over a decade later) i finally fought yore, and his design and fight felt a good bit more fitting to him. sure, it makes sense for a priest to get a fucked up evil demon form, but it just doesnt quite hit the nail on the head! its not terrible, just not the coolest thing in the series!

[half-moonshine-full-eclipse]

considering BDILH again, because it seems I’m forever considering it anymore -

I said last year that I suspected that Taylor just… doesn’t Google what people are saying about her current circle/boyfriend/etc, because 2016 taught her all the wrong lessons when it came to criticism.

(my personal opinion of that fiasco is that it came on the heels of a very needed but very unfortunately timed trend in conversations about the ways white women weaponize whiteness and womanhood to victimize black men, one where her actions in 2009 were already getting revisited for potential racism, and while it’s not her fault that she blew the whistle on Kanye at the point where people were least likely to be sympathetic to her it is her fault that she doesn’t seem to understand why this happened and why it’s bigger than “the whole world decided for no reason that I was horrible with no proof except the accusations of scummy people who had every reason to lie”)

but I think what she decided after that was “any criticism that’s being leveled at anyone by the general public is unfounded and invalid, because nobody in the wider world knows the truth/the subtleties and intricacies of a public figure’s private life”, and so when her fanbase exploded in rage at her dating MH she just assumed we were turning on him for superficial reasons like “he’s an addict” or “he’s edgy” or “he’s not the clear-cut good boy they want to see me dating”. I would be very surprised if she understood that quite a lot of us were angry at her dating a racist, and even more surprised if she understood that him being a leftist (even nominally) doesn’t automatically mean he’s not a racist. And this isn’t defending her - being unintelligent about this makes her look stupid, and reveals how little she has to think about racism and prejudice. She has the freedom to date dirtbag white boys and look at their actions through the lens of “how do they impact my public image / how do they treat me and my friends/family personally”. She doesn’t have to worry about dating a racist who hates her, or sees her as a fetish, or is only using her for some kind of clout or credit. I don’t really expect activism or allyship from her at this point but it is really frustrating to suspect that not only does she not understand why we were angry she won’t understand unless someone holds her hand and explains to her what we were all seeing over and over again.

[ralphiesaces]

hi again, its engineer seb anon!

this au is getting bigger and better every day bcz including hanna? chefs kiss!!

seb validating jenson like babe you are smart, you should voice things you think because you are really really great at this stuff!!! supportive husbands for the win

also sebson dating without actually officially starting dating?? gimme please

welcome back engineer seb anon!! 🫶 (i was sorta hoping to summon you w that post lol! i love talking about this w you)

this au has taken over my brain i can’t lie

seb’s so supportive of jenson but jenson also knows when to keep his mouth shut lol

he’s not going to tell seb how to do his job, but he will make suggestions if he’s stuck, bc jenson has a different perspective

who knows who wins this season 🤷‍♀️

but i imagine that over summer break, they’re already dating-but-not-dating and thrown off when they’re not seeing each other almost every day

hanna gets sad texts from jenson, wondering if seb is bothering her about him too

but seb is offline whenever he can so there’s radio silence on his end (even if he is feeling the same privately)

so when hanna tells jenson he’s said nothing, secretly jenson thinks he should stop pursuing him, that he’s making him uncomfortable

so when the break is over, jenson still hovers around and stuff, but he’s a little off, spending more time in his own garage or with the other drivers instead

(mark thinks seb rejected him or smt, so he doesn’t push, but he can tell something is off w jenson, just offering him his presence so he doesn’t have to be alone)

and you know, crashes are inevitable

after 2009, jenson was a lot better at compartmentalizing and keeping his personal life and emotions out of the car, so he swears up and down to seb that it wasn’t his fault when they finally talk it out

it’s nothing bad, just crashed into a barrier, but for a second, on the tv, it did not look good

the view of his head was obstructed and he lost his front wheels

on top of that, he was winded enough that he couldn’t reply to hanna right away

so seb is focusing on kimi, telling him there’s a red flag, when he hears hanna yelling at jenson to come in a few seats down

and seb knows the risk of driving. he knows what it’s like to hold his breath and hope is friends are okay, but seb had to grip his seat so hard that his knuckles turned white

when jenson finally replied, out of breath and chest tight, seb felt sm relief and he couldn’t explain why (ofc he could, he’s not dumb just trying to suppress it)

so jenson comes in, gets checked by medical, the races finishes w kimi on the podium (not quite p1, bc ofc susie has it, but close enough that he’s still a contender for the championship)

after everything is all finished for the day, seb wants to talk to him

but bc jenson’s race ended early, he’s already gone

so seb stomps his way up to jenson’s hotel room and knocks on his door

the first thing jenson sees is seb’s angry face and he knows he messed up lol

seb’s yelling at him, trying to understand why he’s been avoiding him (bc deep down he worried that if jenson had died today, he would’ve never known why) and maybe jenson braked too early, and seb is technical. so he’s like “how could you have been so reckless”

and at this point seb is just yelling to get all of his pent up frustration out, even if he’s not saying what he really wants to

but then he notices jenson wincing

and seb, the man with no concept of personal space when it comes to jenson, steps forward and pulls his shirt up

and jenson’s bruised, bc he only crashed a few hours ago

and automatically seb calms down, fingers running gently over the bruises, and just stares silently

jenson reaches out to grab his wrist, just to have an excuse to touch him and tells him “they’re not as bad as they look”

seb just rolls his eyes “well, they look horrible so they must hurt a bit”

and just to antagonize him, he lightly pokes at one of them to watch jenson wince

so seb spends a couple of hours helping jenson take care of the bruises and jenson’s just like “i was cleared by medical” and seb replies “just let me help you”

they fall asleep curled up on jenson’s bed after talking for hours

even if they didn’t get to talking about why jenson was avoiding him, or about their feelings—

everything was gonna be okay

[official-impravidus]

this last few weeks of writing fic has been so funny to me bc it’s like:

a second chapter about sebastian smythe (glee) being triplets with barry allen (the flash) and chris stewart (from lifetime movie “a mothers nightmare”)

a ficlet about spirited, a christmas movie musical that came out two years ago

a fix it fic for dr horrible, a music web series from 2008

updates to Five (5) of my most popular wips

a post canon fix it about little white lie, a musical web series that came out in 2009 where i made the villain the main character and bi AND trans

a fic about a movie almost everyone hates that had come up the day before (madame web)

a new batman fic

[novumtimes]

Bluets review: Ben Whishaw and Emma DArcy lead slow demanding Royal Court production

For free real time breaking news alerts sent straight to your inbox sign up to our breaking news emails Sign up to our free breaking news emails It’s a bold move for the Royal Court’s new artistic director David Byrne to programme this show as the first on the main stage under his tenure: an adaptation of Maggie Nelson’s 2009 memoir-cum-philosophical-tract-cum-poetic treatise Bluets, which plants us in the mind of a heartbroken woman who falls in love with the colour blue. It’s dense and demanding, esoteric and plotless, full of references to Goethe and Catherine Millet and Derek Jarman and Heraclitus. Then again, with Emma D’Arcy and Ben Whishaw in the cast and Katie Mitchell at the helm, it suddenly becomes a much more appealing proposition. Mitchell uses the Live Cinema approach she’s been developing for the past 20 years or so: actors stand in front of screens with moving backgrounds on them, and cameras film the actor plus background to make a kind of merged live film on an even bigger screen above. So here we’ve got Whishaw, D’Arcy and Kayla Meikle standing in a line, each with a screen behind, each with a desk in front. Margaret Perry, adapting the book, has split the lines into shards shared between the three. When one speaks, another grabs a prop or changes clothes and sets themselves up in front of their small screen, and the big screen makes it look like they’re driving or at the Sainsbury’s checkout. They’re lightning fast as they strip off jackets, lie on pillows, swig whiskey. We can choose whether to watch the shards or the composite. It’s so technically spectacular, this blend of setup and final shot, while the wash of nice words rolls over you. It needs the skill of these three actors to carry it, but it’s not really about their acting skills individually. Yes Whishaw is a bit nervy, D’Arcy gloomy and inward, Meikle blank and bewildered, occasionally comically so. But we’re not getting to see how great they are as actors. It’s much more about the totality: the way they keep this complicated show moving with split-second precision, being in exactly the right place at exactly the right time for each other’s next scene, the way they share the lines, coming together to become this one woman who’s desperately unhappy and obsessed with blue. We’re watching three actors create one character, three sets of actions mediated into one image on the big screen, like a prism being fed different colours and instead of merging into white light it merges into blue. Far more surface level than in the book is the intense loneliness of the central character. You’d think that might be watered down by the fact there’s three of them on stage sharing the lines and the space. But no, it’s more so: when one actor speaks a little fragment of disconsolate thought – they’re all disconsolate, these thoughts – another is up there on the screen in a car or on a tube train, often with headphones, often with the blue light of their phone up against their eyes, looking terribly lonely. No one else in their life gets to be seen. Perry’s adaptation necessarily sacrifices a lot from the book, but keeps many of its most beautiful lines, and having the added textures of the film, plus a fantastic ever-present score from Paul Clark and Munotida Chinyanga, creates something very different from the book, a theatrical piece unlike much else in London at the moment – a far remove, even, from the many other shows using live cameras on stage. I suspect this will hit a lot harder for fans of the book. Anyone going in cold might find it all a bit slow, frustrating and alienating. Although there’s this technical mastershow going on, which is properly stunning, that doesn’t automatically make it a good show. Because, look, there’s no story, and an obliqueness and opacity that makes it hard to stay ‘in’ it, and spending that much time in that person’s head with all those ponderous purple thoughts – it’s a slog, even at 80 mins. But my goodness it’s a beautiful slog. Source link via The Novum Times

[blazenka]

Forthcoming

Returning to Mystic Falls for a visit, Elena awakes to find she's been sent unwillingly into the past. Not only does she have to avoid changing past events; she must also deal with a cold and detached Damon who is the only one who knows she's there.

Original source: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7073903/1/Forthcoming

Chapters: 17

Published: June 12, 2011 - December 31, 2011

Words: 41434

Rated: Fiction M - Language: English - Genre: Romance/Supernatural - Characters: Elena G., Damon S. - Reviews: 117 - Favs: 132 - Follows: 95

Exported with the assistance of FicHub.net

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Epilogue

Chapter 7

~Ѱ~

2014

After entering the Gilbert home, Katherine glanced around as Stefan stood silently stiff near the front door. "Huh, it hasn't changed a bit in all these years…" she mused, still curling her dark curls.

"Do you sense trouble or is it just an app on your phone now?" Damon remarked, not bothering to look up at Katherine or Stefan from the book in his lap.

"Ooh, someone's a little on edge. Where's little Elena? She's missing from this happy reunion… along with blond-ie and her wolf boy." Katherine replied as she tapped one of her nails against her plump red lips.

"Wouldn't you like to know…" Damon rolled his eyes as he set the grimoire down before turning towards the pair, "Why are you two here?"

This time Stefan spoke up to answered his brother, "We heard through the proverbially grape vine Jenna and Ric were getting married. We thought we pay our respects and support."

"Stefan just wanted to mail a gift," Katherine added with her usual disappointed expression, Stefan just shrugged at her input.

"It's been delayed," Jenna informed them, once again taking a position by Alaric.

When Katherine just raised an eye brow in obvious questioning. Damon finally decided to include them on their current situation, "Bonnie found out Elena and I are together now, got upset, and decided to send her back to either 2009 or 2010 - she isn't quite sure."

"Wow, you two finally decided to hook up together. Called it," Katherine smirked before grabbing a glass of white wine, "Cheers to you two."

"Katherine," Stefan warned before turning to his brother, "I'm happy you two finally worked things out… just can't believe Bonnie would do something like that to Elena once you guys were happy."

"That's what I said!" Jenna interrupted rashly, raising her hands wide in exclamation. "Well, it was," she defended herself after everyone just stared.

Alaric just smiled and patted her on the back, "I think you've had enough to drink, Jenna."

Bonnie bowed her head at Stefan's statement, trying to hide her guilt and shame from the group but it didn't go unnoticed by Damon and Jeremy as the young Gilbert once again took a position by his girlfriend to offer comfort.

"Anyway… ," Damon paused as he waited for the attention of the group, "We're trying to find a way to get her back here… so maybe if you guys could… I dunno, lend a hand?" Damon asked slyly before tossing Katherine a grimoire.

"Of course," Stefan smiled courteously, picking up a grimoire himself.

"Actually, could I talk to you outside instead?" Damon asked, motioning to the front door.

Stefan hesitated for a moment as he turned to Katherine as if to see she would behave herself or possibly asking for permission.

Katherine rolled her eyes as she spared a small smile in his direction before she cracked open the musty old book.

"Sure," Stefan simply stated as he followed his brother onto the front porch.

The brothers stayed in silence for a while - reflecting, pondering, and figuring out their words so nothing would be misunderstood between each other.

"Are you really here for the wedding?" Damon spoke up first.

Stefan just nodded, knowing his brother would see he had no reason to lie - though the reunion was still awkward for both of them.

"You're happy with her?" Damon asked next, thinking that would be a better direction to go.

Stefan smiled before resting his forearms on the railing, "Yea… we seem to complement each other quite well…"

Damon smirked as he quirked his eyebrow in both humor and disbelief, "Really?"

Stefan nodded after a having a slight laugh about it himself, "Really. After I was able to forgive her and we both moved on from the past, it was pretty obvious we balanced each other out."

Damon nodded, "Yea… you're sounding like some crappy romance movies Elena would never succeed in getting me to watch,"

"If you've never seen one, how do you know what the dialogue would sound like?" Stefan laughed as his brother pulled a face.

"And you and Elena also balance each other out… I guess that's where I got Elena and me wrong."

"What are you talking about, Stefan?"

"Elena and I were too similar, and yet didn't understand the other at all."

"And you understand Katherine?" Damon asked, eye brows rose in suspicion.

"As much as one person can understand another, yes - I do. Don't tell me you don't understand Elena?"

"What? Of course I don't. I just try my best not to screw up again like killing Jeremy again and I seem to be okay, most of the time."

"Damon…" Stefan sighed, knowing his brother had grown more than he was letting on.

"Not sure about Bonnie though," Damon remarked nonchalantly.

"Damon."

"I might kill her after this or find away to limit her powers…"

"Damon!"

"Like bandwidth… just so she's more careful with what stupid spells she does… maybe include blocking that aneurism spell she does too."

"Damon…" Stefan groaned; there was no winning with him. 'Poor Elena.'

"If you two are done bonding and catching up, I think we've found something," Katherine interrupted the two before she disappeared back into the living room.

The brothers shared glances of understanding and slight annoyance on Damon's part towards Katherine before the two rejoined the group.

Only a couple minutes had passed even though it felt like an eternity, one Damon wouldn't mind spending if he could continue holding Elena in his arms. Yet, the moment had to come to an end as the owner still standing in the door frame cleared her throat.

"If you are alright now, dears, I need to get back to my chores…" she faded off before leaving the couple to their problems, closing the door on her way out.

Elena was pulled fully into the waking realm and realized where she truly was. She was in the bed & breakfast in the past instead of in her own time with her own Damon like she originally thought. With her illusion and hopes crushed, Elena pulled away from Damon and walked away to gain distance from him.

Damon nodded, trying to hide the disappointed look upon his face. While he waited for her to respond or even speak, a thought crossed his mind.

"Elena?"

She turned around, still slightly dazed, "Yes?"

"Who's Klaus?"

Elena's eyes widened as she resisted a face palm at her stupidity, "Damon…"

"I know there is a lot… about the future… you don't want to tell me. But… it's obvious there is something bothering you… I," Damon stopped, taking a moment to collect his words and thoughts, "I want to be able help you while you're here."

Elena took a deep breath before she took a seat on the bed, motioning Damon to do the same. "If I tell you what happened… you might try to change what has happened… and I can't take that chance. I appreciate that you dislike seeing me in discomfort but Damon- if you change things that are supposed to happen then… I might not have a home to go back to or I might just disappear all together."

Damon stared at her for a moment, "Elena… where would you get an idea like that?"

"One of my college classes I took…" she answered with a weak smile as she studied her hands in her lap.

Damon rolled his eyes before countering her notions, "I get where you're coming from… I guess. But Elena, if I don't know what has happened then how can we figure out a way to send you back? Do you even know how you got to the boarding house to begin with?"

Elena just stared at her hands, twisting them while an uneasy feeling rose up from her stomach, "Last thing I remember… which I think I've already told you… was going to sleep in your bed after I got back from Bonnie's. We came back to Mystic Falls for Jenna and Alaric's wedding, that's all."

Damon tried to ignore the feeling forming in his chest as he thought about Elena and him living together, being together - Elena willing to not only be in his bed but in his bed with him all night.

"Could this Klaus guy… could he be someone who could have sent you here?" Damon asked, looking directly at Elena with a strange intensity.

"Maybe… but he can't, he's dead now. At least he's supposed to be…"

"Elena, you're either dead or you're alive, its one way or the other," Damon pointed out her flaw in logic.

Elena gave short laugh, "You would think…"

"Well, if this guy is dead then why is his memory still bothering you?"

Elena sighed, typically Damon - never dropping anything till he was satisfied with an answer. "You don't know what type of person Klaus was… What he did…" Elena's voice faded off, not wanting to have those memories reemerge.

"Then tell me." Damon stated bluntly.

"I can't…"

"God Elena, you ask me to trust you but give me nothing buy scraps like some dog! You didn't even warn me about Isobel being your mother… or Pearl - threatening me today about the device… or the tomb vampires…" Damon began to yell as he stood up from the bed, running his hand through his hair in frustration.

"I told you I can't…"

"You know what, I hope you do disappear. It would make my life a hell of a lot easier."

"Damon…" Elena gasped, forgetting how harsh and cruel he could be.

"Everything has gone to hell since you've arrived. How do I know it's not because of you that Katherine wasn't in the tomb like she was suppose to be?"

Elena's eyes went cold after hearing his accusation, "Why do you keep going back to Katherine?"

"Well, it's been about Katherine for a hundred and fifty years, and I want her back… like how it's always about Stefan with you…"

Elena stopped as her eyes widened as his choice of words, "What…"

"You know what, Elena; figure it out on your own. I have better places to be," Damon concluded as he exited through the window once again.

Elena sat there for a moment, letting the tears run freely before wiping them away. She knew the only reason Damon had such an effect on her now was because she had a relationship with him in the future.

"Watch out for two tomb vampires attacking Stefan and you in the boarding house living room later tonight," she called out the window in clear rebellion before turning back to her thoughts.

Who was she kidding? He always had an effect on her. She knew now though, Damon just wanted to be emotionless and feel nothing in return. Katherine always seemed to make him react that way, especially after she returned to the small town.

Elena changed, thinking she might as well go to bed even though she felt like she once again would not be able to sleep. As she exited the bathroom, she past the arm chair and the pad of paper she had started on the night before with some events jotted down on the page.

Grabbing the pad, Elena climbed back to bed figuring she could write down what she knew. Forget trying to preserve the time line she knew, people got hurt and worse - died. Maybe this time around things could be different, for the better. It still made Elena uncomfortable to think about 'her' Damon not being there when she got back, if she even did. Yet, Elena knew she needed to focus on the present - even if it was really her past.

~Ѱ~

Hope you've enjoyed this chapter and if you didn't thank you for reading anyway!  

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[wardenparker]

Broken Road - part 5

Javier Peña x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

When Javier’s high school sweetheart turns up at the Embassy, it shakes him right to his foundation. How will he cope when he learns that everything he thought he knew about his first heartbreak was a lie?

Rating: Mature Word Count: 6.5k Warnings: Javi with feelings deserves his own warning. Cursing, family drama/sexism, arguing, dad!Javi, pregnancy, Steve and Connie will always be adorable to me.  Summary: Javi and Gacelita’s daughter is growing up much too fast for his taste. Notes: The absolute outpouring of love and support for this story has been so completely overwhelming and I just want to say thank you from the bottom of my very, very sappy heart. 💖 This journey was an absolute joy to write, and thank you to everyone who came along for the ride!

Part 1 ~ Part 2 ~ Part 3 ~ Part 4 ~ Part 5

July 11, 2009: Laredo, TX

There’s a buzz in the hotel ballroom that accompanies every Peña family event. Javi’s numerous cousins and tíos and tías mill around as everyone begins to arrive from the church, and even Vanessa and her family have been chatting politely with extended family and friends that they haven’t seen since Julián’s christening. Your sister doesn’t really make it down to Texas for much of anything, but for her only niece’s quinceañera, she has made the effort. The whole place is decked out in reds, pinks, and glistening white just like your daughter wanted, and the last time you saw her she was shooing you out of the dressing area at the back of the ballroom that the staff had curtained off for her and her court. Now that she’s fifteen, she’s officially too cool to hang out with her Mom anymore, so you just smiled and retreated like you were asked. Her grand entrance and waltz have been perfectly choreographed, the court is full of all her school friends, and her little brother hasn’t tried to sabotage anything in at least three days. It’s actually shaping up to be a fun afternoon.

"Well, it seems like this is going to go off without a hitch." Javier comes up behind you and wraps his arms around your waist. It doesn't matter that it's been two kids and seventeen years of marriage, one hand definitely had squeezed your ass before coming around your body. "Although I confiscated the Super Soakers from your son." He snickers. "Little bastard had red food coloring in the water."

“I knew he was being too well-behaved.” You groan slightly and wrap your arms around his over your waist. “Are you ready for your little girl to become a young woman, mi amor?” He’s been struggling with this, you know that. Not because he’s not excited for Ruby, but because she is his little girl. From the second she was born, and the nurse deposited her in his arms, he’s been wrapped around her little finger. Seeing her grow up has been nothing but proud for him. “She’s now the same age I was when we met.”

"God, don't remind me." He huffs with a pout on his face and buries his nose against your pulse. The faint scent of Vera Wang Princess is an amusing choice and makes him take a deep breath while he tightens his hold on you. "I know that she's going to date soon and it's going to take everything not to kill the boy." He knows that she's been sweet on the Morales boy and it's killing him, even if Francisco is a good kid. Even if he's a few years older.

“The best thing we can do is give them a safe place to exist,” you remind him, turning your head to plant a kiss on his jaw. “Like your parents did for us. We got into plenty of trouble but never actually got into trouble. That’s just part of being a teen.”

"I heard he wants to join the Army." He mutters against your throat. "Eliah said he's talking to the recruiter. Wants to be a pilot."

“Then all the more reason for me to be nice to him.” Ruby’s almost-boyfriend is a sweet boy and he’s even been to the house a few times. Today, though, you’re very glad to see that he’s stepped up to being her escort and helped her keep her head on straight during all the prep. “Is his family here yet?”

"Yeah, they just got here." It had been the reason he had come over to you, but he couldn't resist this moment with you. "I wish we could keep her a little girl just a little longer." He sighs, kissing your cheek and pulling away. "Although I know we can't."

“I was loving that she still wanted to spend time with me after thirteen and fourteen,” you admit, sliding your hand into his when he straightens up. “I’ve finally become an embarrassing mom, not just the embarrassing Sheriff.”

He hums and squeezes your hand gently. "We have a few years of you knowing nothing and then by her sophomore year of college you will be best friends." The DJ that Ruby had insisted on is starting to play music and Javier looks around the large room, double checking to make sure everything is perfect.

“Yeah, I guess.” You turn a little, tucking yourself into his arms. “I mean that’s how it was with me and my—” In an instant, your jaw drops against his shoulder and your eyes blow wide as you watch the figure of a once-tall older man in an impeccably tailored suit walk through the door. “Dad?” The invitation had been sent, but you never thought he would actually show up.

Javier inhales and turns around to face his father-in-law. His hand slides around your waist, both as an anchor and a support. He's fifty years old, his need for approval from this man has long since dissipated, but he will be as mature and as gracious as he can be for both yours and his daughter's sake. "General." He offers, nodding his head slightly. "Ruby will be glad that you could make it."

“It’s not every day your granddaughter turns fifteen.” His slightly open arms are aimed at you, and you can’t really remember the last time you actually hugged him. It’s been cards and presents in the mail for years now. “Thank you for inviting me, Sheriff.”

He clears his throat a little at the last word, but you could swear there is a ghost of a proud smile there. “Well, we always have room for a guest…if you ever wanted to see the kids more.” The basement was converted into a guest room years ago, after Julián was born and the upstairs guest room needed to come his room.

"I doubt your husband would appreciate your invite." His eyes drift over to Javi with something like reluctant acceptance. As if the past seventeen years of marriage to his daughter was something that had passed in the blink of an eye.

“Don’t do that.” You didn’t expect to have to scold a seventy-three-year-old man today, but you should have known better. “If we can’t all be nice and accepting, then let’s just stick to polite and be happy for Ruby. This is her day.” The fact that he can’t just let it go and accept that you’re happy is what bothers you most. You have the family you always wanted and a meaningful career that you love. Life is good. But you won’t waste your daughter’s quinces wondering why he can’t wrap his head around that.

"Anyone my wife invites into our home is welcome." Javier tells him. "Especially if it's the last grandfather our children have." His father's death three years ago still stung, both of his kids only having one grandparent left. His only consolation was that his father was laid to rest next to his mother and despite his own disillusionment with religion, part of him like to imagine his parents reunited in death.

You squeeze Javi’s waist gently at the mention of his father and force yourself to smile. “Why don’t you find your seat, Dad. Things are going to start soon, and we should say hello to the Morales’s.” Semi-awkward small talk with your daughter’s boyfriend’s parents is vastly preferable to the tension between the three of you - at least to you.

"I'm sorry, Gacelita." Javi murmurs as the two of you walk off. He hadn't wanted it to turn that way, but it honestly seems as though the two of you couldn't talk to one another without there being some kind of tension. "Want to go back and rethink that idea of letting him know you are expecting?" He jokes, as if you could go back in time and change things.

“He’s never been anything but kind to the kids.” Direct interactions between Ruby, Julián, and their grandfather have always been happy ones. The tension and awkwardness are only reserved for the adults. “After today we probably won’t see him again until Rubes graduates high school.”

"I'm serious." Javi tells you quietly as you both make your way over to where Eliah and Esmeralda Morales are standing. "If you want your father to come to visit, I will keep my mouth shut and limit my time in the barn."

“I only want him to visit if he actually wants to.” You mumble back. A minute later you’re reaching to embrace Esmeralda like a dear friend. Truth be told, you do like her very much - and you’ve worked with her a lot on community events since she was elected to the City Council.

Esmeralda hugs you back and pulls away as Eliah and Javier slap each other on the shoulder and shake hands as men do. The couple had been a few years younger than Javier and yet still has older children. "Francisco has been pacing nervously all morning." She tells you, pride in her voice as she looks over at her oldest son. "He is proud that Ruby asked him to be with her today."

“We’re glad she picked him. They’re very sweet together.” That’s an easy admission, considering some of the more unsavory boys in her grade. “Javier says Francisco’s looking at the Army?”

Eliah sighs. "I've been trying to convince him that he wants to go to college first. Pilots have to be officers, right?"

You nod, seeing the reluctance on Eliah’s face. “There are some great programs. I—um, I was in for twelve years. ROTC up to Captain. I’d be happy to help him look through his options and make a more educated decision. The recruiters tend to push overly hard. I mean, it’s their job, but being a pilot is a great goal.”

"He'll listen to you." Eliah shoots you a relieved look. "He thinks very highly of you, since he knows you were in the Army."

“I’ll help him find something that will work for him. Instead of just the first thing that will send him into combat.” These days you’re glad you resigned your commission in the 90s. You would have been overseas and in combat again while your kids were doing so much growing up. You would have missed so much, and asking Javi to risk losing you like that would have been too much. “Truthfully, if Ruby has to be thinking about boys, I’m glad it’s someone like Frankie. He’s a good kid.”

"Honestly? I'm proud that he's found Ruby." Eliah tells you frankly. "You and Jav have raised a wonderful young woman. She's good for him." He knows that part of the reason Francisco was looking at the Army was because he wanted to future for him and Ruby. Even at seventeen - just turned - he was planning a future.

“We were about their age when we met.” Eliah and Esmeralda moved to Laredo just a few years ago the way your family had moved to town years ago, so they didn’t know your whole saga the way most of the other people here did. “And Javi’s parents were teens, too. I guess it sort of runs in the family.”

"As long as they grow up before making us grandparents." Esmeralda huffs, voicing the same worry that Javi had.

He nods in agreement. "It's going to sound overly cautious, but we put Ruby on birth control after she hit puberty. We know what teenagers are like. We are kidding ourselves if we pretend otherwise." He tells her.

“They’ll be okay as long as they have support.” Eliah echoes your earlier statement, and his ears perk up when the DJ comes over the speakers announcing the entrance of the quinces court.

“Here they come.” You grin madly, so proud of your little girl even if she isn’t so little anymore. “We’ll talk after the dances.” You murmur before nudging Javi toward the small table reserved for your family.

He's not crying when Ruby comes into the ballroom on Frankie's arm. He's not. Okay, he is, but with good goddamn reason. His little girl is all grown up. She looks so beautiful in the dress that she had obsessed over for months, and her hair and makeup make her look a hell of a lot older than fifteen. His hand grips yours and he bites his lip, so he doesn't sob like an idiot in the middle of her moment.

******

December 10, 1993:

When people finally start pouring out of the arrivals gate, you practically deflate with relief. Javier’s flight is a full forty-five minutes late landing because of the thunderstorm currently raging outside and you’re so anxious to see him that you’re practically vibrating. A week in DC for his hearing is the longest you’ve been apart since getting back to the States and you miss him. But there’s something much more important than that buzzing under the surface.

Javi impatiently waits for the rows ahead of him to disembark. He knows you will be waiting for him; it's expected. What he doesn't know is how you will react to his news. He thinks about the files that are in his carry on and he finally can stand up to pull the bag from the overhead bin. Shuffling off the plane behind a little old lady, he scans the crowd and is relieved when he sees you eagerly scanning the passengers for him.

“Javi!” You practically pounce on him, throwing your arms around his shoulders to kiss him for the first time in eight days. “Te extrañé, mi amor.” (I missed you, my love.)

"Desearía que hubieras venido conmigo." (I wish you had come with me.) Javi returns the kiss and sighs as he pulls back to look into your eyes. "Did you bring the truck or the car?" He asks, wondering if his bag needs to be stowed in the cab so it doesn't get soaked.

“The car.” You don’t like navigating the big truck on slick roads, so your compact little Toyota was vastly preferable for the drive. “Are you hungry? I have some carne asada marinating at home, but we can pick something else up on the way if you want.” It’s the dessert that you’re anxious for - the special little cake that you had ordered from his favourite bakery with its very important message scrawled lovingly on top.

"I can wait." Javi shuffles his bag higher up on his shoulder and takes your hand. "I just want to get home. Out of this weather."

“Pops is playing poker with his buddies tonight. I told him to just stay at Berto Rodriguez’s rather than trying to drive home.” And since your father-in-law is currently one of three people who knows your secret, he had readily agreed.

"Good." He hums. "We will have the house to ourselves." He doesn't mention about the fact that it might be a good thing because you might be yelling at him. "He always plays too late and drinks too much Bud anyway."

Tugging him toward the parking structure attached to the airport, you slip your arm around his waist and tuck it into the back pocket of his jeans while you walk together. “Everything went okay?” He called you every night while he was gone, but it’s much easier to be thorough in person.

"Yeah." He gives a small shrug and wonders if the airport is honestly the best place to have this conversation. "It was okay. Happy to be the fuck out of DC."

“You’re not a bureaucracy kind of guy.” He never has been, and you remember him watching you shift through piles of paperwork and policies when you were working for the ambassador.

"Yeahhhh." He really isn't but he better learn quick. Especially considering he had already accepted the position. "It's a pain in the ass."

******

It’s your turn to hold back tears when Javier gets up for his father/daughter dance with Ruby. Julián is sitting on your other side and Francisco has taken up his offered seat at the family table while this incredibly important dance is happening. You know he’ll be on his feet with Ruby most of the night, but right now is Javier’s time with his little-girl-turned-young-woman.

"You are beautiful, mi joya." Javier murmurs as he guides her through the dance. "I have loved you from the moment your mamá told me you were in her belly, and I am proud of the woman you have become."

“Papí,” Ruby’s mumbled voice is complaining even though she loves to be doted on by her father. “You’re gonna make me cry and my makeup is perfect.”

"Yes, it is, mi joya." He's older now, grey flecked through his dark hair and more than a little silver in his mustache but his eyes shine with pride and his feet are steady as he spins his daughter around gently. "You look like a woman, and it makes you papí want to cry. You should still fit in my arms like you did when you were a bebé.”

“Did—” She looks around a little, trying unsuccessfully to peer over his shoulder but she’s still a little too short to be able to do that stealthily. “Did I see Grandpa before?” He hardly ever comes around, and she hadn’t expected to see her mother’s father today even though he was invited. Grandpa always seems to prefer spending time with Julián on the rare occasion he comes to visit, so this is doubly special.

"He's here." Javier confirms with a nod, turning her around and pointing out the man. While he might have his issues with him because the past and the way that he treats you, Ruby loves the old man. "He came to see you, Ruby."

“I didn’t think he would,” she admits softly, though the joy is evident in her voice. Spinning again in her father’s arms, she practically stops mid-turn to wave frantically in the opposite of the direction of the room where two blondes sit with two teen girls who are also grinning madly. “Tío Steve and tía Connie are here!” She could spin right off the dance floor right now to hug them, but this dance is too important to her.

"Of course, they were always going to come." Javi chuckles and nods at his old partner. "Your tío drove me nuts reconfirming the date six hundred times." He exaggerates playfully.

“Everything’s perfect.” Ruby clings to her dad a little harder and sighs happily. “Thank you so much, papí.”

"That's all I want, mi joya." He leans in and presses a kiss to her forehead. The music fades out and he smiles at her. "Te amo." His eyes slide past you to where Francisco is waiting on the edge of the floor. "I think your boyfriend is waiting to dance with you."

The smile on Ruby’s face is so wide it could span the room. “He asked me last night.” She admits, giving her father one more hug before she pulls away. “To be his girlfriend. Officially.” After going out with friends for months and spending secret nights out stargazing and doing things all of their parents would disapprove of up in the hayloft, it is finally official and she’s so obviously over the moon about it. “He…he told me he loves me.”

Javier's heart catches in his throat and he swallows hard, reminding himself of you and him and at that age. "He would be a fool not to, mi joya." He murmurs, looking at Francisco before he looks back at his daughter. "Just be safe, bebita. You don't have to hide anything from me or your mamá." He tells her. "You come to your papí if you need him."

“Okay, awkward.” She rolls her eyes at him despite secretly appreciating the support, and prances away across the floor to grab Frankie’s hands to drag him out onto to dance floor.

Javi practically staggers over to you and sits down. "I need a fucking drink." He huffs, snatching up your drink and tossing it back.

“Qué pasó?” (What happened?) You raise an eyebrow at him as he sits down and barely nod at Julián as he runs off to join his friends on the dance floor.

“They are officially dating.” Javier closes his eyes, brows pinched in pain. “I know that sex will be happening soon. I just fucking know it.” He cracks an eye open. “Schedule a doctor’s appointment and triple check her birth control.” He’s being dramatic, he knows that, but goddamn does the idea of his little girl having sex scare him. He’s been more levelheaded staring down the barrel of a gun.

“Ooooookay.” Immediately, your hand is rubbing gentle circles on his back. “She just turned fifteen, and Francisco is smart enough to understand age of consent when dating the sheriff’s daughter.” It’s not that you’re not swallowing down a fair amount of bile and maternal panic, but Javi is definitely the one who gets to freak out first.

Javier rolls his eyes at you. “Yes sheriff.” He huffs. “But they also fall within the Romeo and Juliet statute.” He reminds you. Both of them are over fourteen and there’s less than three years between them. “Age of consent is for adults.” His fingers itch for a cigarette between them although he hasn’t smoked in fourteen years.

“Which won’t stop me from wearing my badge around the house to remind him that actions have consequences.” Truth be told, you know that Ruby is a smart girl, and you can just hope that she trusts you enough to talk to you if and when things happen. “Just relax and try to enjoy the party, mi esposo. Just because they’re official doesn’t mean everything’s going to happen all at once.”

“I know that.” He grumbles, wishing he had another drink. “I just— when did she fucking grow up?” He shakes his head. “You told me you were pregnant two years ago it seems like.”

******

“You what?” There is horror and worry and anger written on your face as you sit at the kitchen table with Javier - dinner spread out in front of you but your appetite completely ruined. You feel like you’re going to be sick and you’re trying not to scream, but it’s hard. “How could you say yes without talking to me?!”

“They needed an answer.” Javier shuffles in his seat and crosses his arms over his chest. He knew you wouldn’t be happy but he’s defensive now. “I tried calling the house, but you didn’t answer and it’s not like I can tell the fucking DEA I need to check with my wife first.”

“You fucking should have.” You know it doesn’t work like that. Logically. But there is nothing logical about how you’re feeling right now as your stomach rolls, and your heart hammers in your chest, and you feel like you’re going to start crying. Shoving back from the table, you march into the kitchen, grab the box from the bakery out of the refrigerator, and bring it back to the table only to carelessly toss it down in front of him, still closed. You want to beg him to take it back. To change his mind. Please don’t leave. Not now. But you’re too proud and too angry for that. “You want to know why I was out a bunch this week instead of waiting home by the phone? Open the damn box.”

Javier eyes the box and almost pushes it away. Not wanting to fucking argue with you. He clenches his jaw and shakes his head. “I got a chance to fucking make things right, do things different and you want me to say no because of a fucking cake?” He huffs.

“Not because of a fucking cake.” You can’t help the growl in your voice. It’s covering the sound of how hurt you are. Tearing back the lid, he is faced with a beautifully professional little dulce de leche cake like the one you ate at lunch after your wedding. We’re Going to be Parents! the careful white icing words proclaim, but you’re no longer excited. You’re now facing an entire pregnancy and who knows how much longer of your first child’s life without him there - because another Colombian drug war is no place for an infant. “Because of that.”

Javier freezes, staring at the words on the cake with a slack jawed expression. “I— you’re— you’re pregnant?” He asks, eyes finding yours and he hates the tears in your orbs.

“Yeah, Jav.” You sniffle back a wave of tears and lean on the back of the chair across from him, trying not to scream or sob or make a scene. “I’ve been in and out of the doctor’s all week. That’s…that’s why I haven’t been home as much.”

“Fuck Gacelita.” His chair scrapes the floor as he stands up and takes the two short steps to pull you into his arms. “I’m sorry, don’t cry baby.” He murmurs, guiding your head to his shoulder and his own eyes tear up. “We’re gonna have a baby?”

“I am.” You mumble, tears soaking his shirt despite his protest. “You’re gonna have another fucking cartel.”

“You’re coming with me.” Javier decides. “Baby, Cali isn’t like Escobar. They run the cartel like a business. No killing cops.” He rubs your back. “We will have a secure apartment with me being station chief. They won’t touch you. Or me. It’s not going to be like the hunt for Pablo. They call themselves ‘the gentleman of Cali’.”

“You can’t know that, Javi.” Being angry and scared and feeling guilty for being angry and scared is too much all at once. You throw your arms around him and hold on tight, burying your face in his chest. “It’s going to be dangerous.”

He sighs, the weight that had been lifted off his shoulders, his conscious, since accepting the assignment settles back over him. “I’ll quit.” He murmurs softly. “I’ll call them tomorrow and tell them I’ve changed my mind.” You are too important and if it comes down between you or proving to himself that he’s capable of doing things right, you win. Hands down. “I’m sorry, baby. Don’t cry, I’ll fix it.”

“Don’t be stupid.” It only takes about thirty seconds after the words are out of your mouth to realize that what you’re doing is selfish. He had the hunt for Escobar ripped away from him and he’s right - this is his chance to be able to do things right and set the record on him straight. And if it weren’t for the fact that you are pregnant, you would be telling him to pack up and digging up the number for the Embassy to rejoin the civilian staff there. “You earned this. And you deserve this.” You sigh heavily, hating the muted sob at the end as you finally get the tears to stop. “The second we get a whiff of somebody coming after you or me, I’m coming home.”

He pulls back, cupping your cheeks and staring into your eyes for a long moment. Reading you. “I’m going to be different baby; I’m going to do things by the book.” He promises you. “None of the shit like before. You get me at night, coming home to you and our baby.” His eyes slide down to your stomach. “Are you sure? I’ll quit; I promise you.” He vows softly. “You are more important than anything else.”

“Split the difference?” You know he’ll just call and quit if you say you want him to. That’s the man he is - continuously true and loyal to you. Now as much as ever. “What if you retire after Cali? We can do the Academy like we talked about and join the sheriff’s department.” You’ve held off on pursuing that path while you waited for whatever the DEA would decide about his indiscretion and have been working at City Hall for the last few months. This is nothing like what you expected, but nothing in life really has been. “I’ll see if I can get a job at the Embassy again.” Connie’s voice from years ago floats through your head and you actually smile. “Maybe you’ll get to have a secretary.”

“You don’t have to work, baby.” He protests, relieved that you aren’t still crying. He hates your tears. “You can take up painting or pottery or whatever the fuck stay-at-home wives do.”

The look you give him could turn flesh to stone. “I’m terrible at doing nothing.” You remind him. “Maybe they’ll just let me join the typing pool until the baby is born, then I can focus on being a mom. But I’m not just going to sit and twiddle my thumbs or spend all day at the beach.” That’s fine for some people, but it’s never been who you are.

“No fucking way.” He shakes his head. “You’ll be my secretary then.” He’s not going to have you in the typing pool and have some asshole not let you have a piss break.

“We’ll figure it out.” The breath you blow out is heavy and loaded. “I’m sorry.” You motion lamely toward the cake. “That was supposed to be a big, exciting surprise…”

“I fucked it up.” He immediately takes the blame for that. It is his fault. “You don’t need to be sorry, Gacelita. I am the one who should be sorry. And I am.” His hand slides down to your stomach and his sigh is soft. “A baby.”

“A baby.” You nod, barely taking one hand off of him to wipe your wet cheeks. His hand between you is a warm anchor of comfort despite being upset. You’ve wanted this for years - him, this life, this baby - and it’s finally happening.

“We will be okay.” Javier promises. “I’m not going to let anything happen to you. To our baby.” He leans in and nudges his nose against yours. “I’m going to protect you both.”

“I know you will, mi amor.” You lean your forehead against his and sigh, letting your eyes slip closed while you try to collect yourself. “I know.”

******

"I wish I had told you about Cali differently." It was still a regret of his, making you cry when you should have been overjoyed. Javi's thumb rubs the back of your hand and brushes against the engagement ring you still wear, the flower that you smile down at often. "Although I will never regret having you and Ruby there with me." He lifts your hand to his mouth and kisses the back of it, before he grins at you. "Waddling around the Embassy. Even the ambassador was scared of you."

“I had to keep all you guys in line somehow. The cranky pregnant lady persona worked pretty well.” Your laugh is practically a bark, kept short by Connie’s arms roping around your shoulders in a hug. The flash of blonde and white hair beside you is a welcome sight - it’s been far too long since you saw the Murphys.

"Hey." Javi stands up and grins, wrapping his arms around Steve and slapping his back in the way that men do. "Glad you two could make it."

“We wouldn’t have missed it.” Steve promises, looking out onto the dance floor where the kids are all dancing. “When did she get so grown up?”

"When my back was turned." Javi huffs, leaning in and hugging Connie when you and she break apart. "How are the girls? Did they come?" He asks, looking around the room for the Murphy girls.

“Already dancing.” Connie laughs, pointing out on the floor where Olivia and Hannah are fully coordinated in whatever popular Internet dance it is that they’re doing. Despite several years difference in age, the two girls have nearly always been inseparable.

"God, that's them?" Javi demands, shaking his head. "I remember when we found Olivia."

“She doesn’t.” Steve could not be happier about that fact, though he and Connie have never kept it a secret from her that she was adopted in Colombia. “She just turned eighteen.”

“Which reminds me.” You squeeze Steve in a tight hug. “I have her birthday present at the house. You guys are coming over tomorrow right? Party detox over brunch?”

“We wouldn’t miss it.” Javier shakes his head again as Connie answers. “We’ve gotten old Jav. Colombia was a lifetime ago.”

“Her whole lifetime.” You gesture to Ruby, swaying and laughing in Francisco’s arms. “Don’t forget, both of our oldest kids were born in Colombia.”

“Yeah.” Steve huffs and shakes his head, sending Javier a look of faux disappointment. “Couldn’t even bring back your partner for Cali.”

A hand smacks Steve playfully on the shoulder and you roll your eyes at him. “He was Station Chief, not a field agent.” You remind him proudly. “It’s the only reason I was okay with us going back.”

"It was good what you did." Steve might still be with DEA, but he had agreed with Javier's interview with the reporter that had blown the lid off the corruption. "But I know you enjoy retirement more."

“It’s hardly retirement.” Javier huffs and throws his former partner a scowl at the same time you laugh. “We run the sheriff’s department now. It’s not sicarios on rooftops but we keep busy.”

"She runs the sheriff's department." Steve teases. "You take your orders from her."

“He’s my favorite deputy.” You joke, leaning over to kiss your husband’s cheek.

Javi snorts and shakes his head. "Don't let her fool you." He jokes. "I'm her gopher. Making up for when she was my secretary in Colombia."

Placing another kiss on Javier’s cheek, you grin and shrug. “And you’re very good at it, baby.”

He rolls his eyes and huffs at you before turning his attention back to the Murphy’s. "Let's have a drink and catch up." He suggests, wanting to talk to the couple face to face instead of on the phone.

“We’ll get the whiskey.” Connie grins, snagging your arm and dragging you off toward the bar on the other side of the ballroom.

******

August 20, 2016: Fort Benning, GA

“I’ve been out for twenty-four years and I still feel like I should be saluting everybody.” The sea of uniforms surrounding you is nearly a nostalgic sight. Georgia in August is murderously hot, though, and you’re exceptionally glad to be able to wear something comfortable to Francisco’s graduation from Officer Candidate School.

Ruby is practically vibrating beside you, trying to spy where her boyfriend will emerge from the crowd of other newly minted officers, and it makes you smile a little to see her so proud. The two kids are still going strong after seven years together, and Julián is now the manager of Eliah Morales’s book shop while he works on his business degree. Your families have become intertwined, and despite Javi moaning about how it makes him feel old, you have loved watched the Morales kids grow up right alongside your own.

"You could always put on your uniform when we get home." Javi leans into murmur in your ear with a grin. "I'll salute you." Just because the kids growing up and becoming adults made him feel older than the Texas dirt doesn't mean that he doesn't feel like a randy teenager around you to this day.

You hum, turning in to his side, and return his grin full force. “That’s a deal, mi amor.”

"Where is he?" Ruby moans, neck craning and her eyes are racing over the field of soldiers, officers, as they stand at Parade Rest.

“There’s a lot of people, mija. Give him a little time to—” But the sentence isn’t even all the way out of your mouth when you hear Francisco’s familiar voice shouting your daughter’s name as he races through the crowd to find her. “Never mind,” you grin at Javier and step away to give them some privacy.

Javier watches as the young man swings his daughter up into his arms. As much as he wanted to hate the idea of it, Francisco was a good man and he loves Ruby with everything he has. "Kids." He scoffs, even as his arm winds around you and he wonders if it wouldn't have been the exact same if you and he had been together while you had gone through Officer Candidate School. "Look at them." He murmurs in your ear as he tugs you against his chest.

“Hard not to.” They’re fully-fledged adults now, in their twenties and leading fully independent lives, but that’s still your little girl and her first crush right there in front of you.

“You did it!” Ruby is practically squealing when she jumps up to hug her newly graduated boyfriend. “I’m so proud of you, mi vida. So proud.”

Eventually, the two of them manage to pull away from each other but only after kissing for so long that Javier clears his throat. Francisco, still holding Ruby's hand with his left so he can salute, holds his hand out to him to shake. "Mr. Peña." There is a question in his eyes, one that the younger man had come to him a few days before he left for Benning to ask.

His emotions high, Javi reaches into his pocket and palms the small item and extends his hand towards 2nd Lt. Francisco Morales. "Damn proud of you, son." He tells him gruffly with a nod, transferring it to him discreetly.

"We're both proud of you." It's pure maternal instinct, the way you reach forward to hug Francisco tight and pat him on the back. As far as you're concerned, he became a part of your family a long time ago - he's your son by affection if nothing else. And from what Javi said, it's only a matter of time before it's more than that.

Frankie swallows, murmuring a quiet 'thanks' to you before he gives Ruby his full attention. He's nervous and excited but the object that his love's father had given him bolstered his resolve to do this right now. Taking Ruby's left hand, Francisco doesn’t hesitate for a second before he kneels down in the grass in front of her. "Mi estreallas, mi sol." He looks up at her with wide hopeful eyes as he holds up her nana Maria's engagement ring. When he had come to Javier to ask him for permission, telling him his intentions to propose to the man's daughter when he graduated boot camp, he had been surprised when he offered his mother's ring to him.

"Frankie—" Ruby is already in tears, and you can't say you blame her as you tuck into Javier's side just a few steps away. His own parents and siblings and Julián all present and accounted for to be witness to a proposal nearly a decade in the making. You squeeze Javi's side, beaming at them as Ruby practically screams an ecstatic "YES!" and the promise is sealed with a kiss.

Grandparents, parents, and now the next generation - apparently marrying your high school sweetheart really does run in the Peña family.

______

Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt  @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics

Broken Road: @shakespeareanwannabe @pascalesque @hnt-escape @xaestheticalien @supernaturalgirl20 @samzie @blub-senpai @dobbyjen @vanered15​ @vanemando15​

My Masterlist!

[starkid-heritage-posts]

I know this isn’t a tumblr post (so feel free to ignore) but I’m submitting it here because it is such a heritage moment

After AVPM and little white lie this was literally the 3rd video the starkid youtube account uploaded. There is a really weird alternate timeline when they just became a shitpost channel.

(Also how good is Nick(I think?)’s voice acting in this like I truly didn’t get that that dialogue wasn’t just lifted from the movie until my second time watching it)

__________________________________________________________

Starkid Heritage.....video (Date of Origin: September 4, 2009)

Imagine the universe where they kept putting out shit like this. I’m curious about that timeline.

[alphinias]

I watched TSITP in one sitting and immediately devoured the first book (about to start the second one).

I can totally see now why people were saying the show was even better than the book which took me by surprise 'cause that's a bold statement I had never heard in my life before.

They fixed a lot of things in the series that were probably ok in 2009 when the books first came out but wouldn't stand a chance today, especially if the target audience is young women in 2022.

13 years isn't THAT much but sure things have moved and progressed fast in the last decade, so many nuances of the story would have been slaughtered if they sticked to the book step by step. I'm glad they smoothed Conrad's character and watered down some of the possessive ways he acted and same for Belly being 10 times more "I act for myself first" and less obsessed over him. Watching the show I'm 100% team Conrad but I'm not gonna lie a lot of moments reading the book I was like "mmmmh boy, no" (for example when he kept grabbing her by the arm at the bonfire dragging her away from Cam or how forbidding some of his statements sounded) and they sure fixed it in the script, show Conrad is definitely jealous but not possessive. Same thing goes for a lot of the female characters like Taylor and Nicole, in the books it's almost like Belly projects her insecurities despising other girls, none of her relationships with other girls her age seemed to matter or to be real and I'm glad in the show they actually said "no, this isn't happening 'cause in real life girls don't go around catfighting 24\7. They maybe won't be the best of pals but they'll be cool and respectful with each other" which added A LOT to Belly as character. I love how they also toned down a little the bitterness between Jeremiah and Conrad, it is definitely there on screen but it isn't as snappish as in the book (like Jeremiah showing off is new body to Belly and Conrad calling him out at the dinner table).

Overall they tried to make everything a little more healthy and easy for the people following the story to like the characters and empathize with them, I feel like in the show you can easily struggle with "it's so hard to pick a side 'cause I love them all, they're all great" while with the books you can easily think "it's so hard to pick a side 'cause they're all messy" (not gonna lie borderline toxic, ALL of them). With the show you pick your favorite, with the book you pick who you despise less.

This makes me hopeful about the next seasons, I yet have to read the next two books but I roughly know what's gonna happen in the story since it's been impossible to avoid spoilers and I have this belief they won't go there with the marriage proposal, it's too much and it probably would divert the audience from the empathy towards both ships and they'll probably scratch that replacing it with another big deal but not as drastic (maybe moving in together) 'cause considering how much of a big deal the ball was in the show and her already having to choose between one of the two brothers but not at all in the book I have the feeling they kind of used it as symbolism for the wedding storyline (I picked Jeremiah, I'm there in the white dress with him but SYKE it's Conrad in the end always been him) and letting it happen now while they're all teen and it's not so serious, I don't know maybe that's just my wishful thinking but I can see them fixing this as well and making it more acceptable.

Never thought I'd be saying these words in my life but so far season 1 vs. book 1? The score is Book 0 - TV show 1.

Like I’ve said, it’s been years and years since I read the books, but yeah. Definitely thought a lot of it would have aged poorly from what I do remember. It’s definitely a product of its time.

Hats off to Jenny Han and everyone who worked on the show, truly. They improved all the areas that needed it and made the good things as good or even better.

I am also hopeful than they will translate some of what’s coming better after what they changed in S1.

[you-cant-spell-subtext-without]

so get this. I was gonna roll around in Tombstone related fluff today - but no, no - this post came across my dash so Now We Are Gonna Discuss the Carnal Consumption of Meat as it appears on That Show Supernatural.  YEAH BUDDIES!

(also my sincere apologies to OP of the inspiration post who innocently tagged it with “lunch date!”  because I am about to go Elsewhere, cursedly).

Let’s all go meat man, after the cut!

This analysis centers primarily on 5x14 Bloody Valentine.  The title of course is a semi-homage to a 3D Slasher Film Jensen starred in circa 2009. 

Which I will be renting soon I guess.  ,[<- parasocial panda GET BACK IN YOUR ENCLOSURE]

Also Its Really Fun that the trailer for Said Cinema ends with “nothing says date movie like a 3-D ride to hell” [are you also thinking of Cas pulling Dean out of hell, or are you normal?]  ***unironically the teaser for 5x14 is -

EXT. SIDEWALK - IN FRONT OF ALICE'S APARTMENT BUILDING

RUSSEL 

First date.

They then eat each other.  Literally they eat each others flesh.  They also do it while dirty talking about it.  SPN IS A SHOW 

ALICE Ugh! I've been so alone. So empty...

RUSSEL I know. Me too.

ALICE I want you, Russel---All of you... inside me...

[they both take bites out of each other, Alice chewing on a piece of Russel's flesh]

****Remember this detail, as it is important.

ANYWAY, it’s truly Cursed that not only are we doing an homage to this 3-D Jensen Horror Date Flick but also this episode is specifically centered on Valentine’s Day.  The day honoring romance and love Now Coopted by Hallmark, everyone, that is the day spn writers chose to introduce us to 

Sir Horseman of THE Biblical Apocalypse Famine. 

Canonically, we are aware that the show is drawing from the book of Revelations in its depiction of the Four Horsemen.  Here’s what it says about Famine -

"When He broke the third seal, I heard the third living creature saying, "Come." I looked, and behold, a black horse; and he who sat on it had a pair of scales in his hand.”

-Revelations 6:5

Famine holds scales (used to weigh out grain in times of food scarcity).  Spn’s depiction is represented as hunger, a bottomless pit of need.  It consumes souls (demon and human alike).  

Cas describes Famine a little more poetically:

CASTIEL 

"And then will come Famine riding on a black steed. He will ride into the land of plenty... "

"... and great will be the Horseman's hunger, for he is hunger. "

"His hunger will seep out and poison the air. "

***Consider a prior season in which we are introduced to the Seven Deadly Sins.  Which are the sins associated with hunger?

Gluttony

and Lust.

***this is also important

Back to the episode.  Case cold open, and we find out that Alice was a Nice Girl.  In that she didnt drink, smoke or

have premarital sex.

***So Alice’s hunger for the sin of Lust caused her to succumb to it; and her demise was presented as Gluttony (literally eating her partner’s flesh). HMM

Famine’s presence is affecting the town, and Cas is not immune.

DEAN 

And when did you start eating?

CASTIEL 

Exactly. My hunger-- it's a clue, actually.

***They lay it out a little more in case you missed it ->

SAM 

I thought famine meant starvation, like as in, you know, food.

CASTIEL 

Yes. Absolutely. But not just food. I mean, everyone seems to be starving for something--Sex, attention, drugs, love...

***this is so important.  but of course because its spn and our textual narrators are generally unreliable (even in a Ben Edlund episode, yes I know)

we get a red herring

CASTIEL 

Right. The cherub made them crave love, and then Famine came, and made them rabid for it.

***but that’s not accurate.  they didn’t get married or become obsessed with each other (remember the cursed coin in 4x08 Wishful Thinking and the unconditional love wish? not what happened here). they had premarital sex.  they did the thing Alice considers wrong, and dark, and sinful.  and then they ate each others’ flesh.

DEAN 

Okay, but what about you? I mean, since when do angels secretly hunger for White Castle?

CASTIEL 

It's my vessel-- Jimmy. His, uh, appetite for red meat has been touched by Famine's effect

***mad lad Jimmy Novak’s hunger is for...red meat?  He is starving for red meat?  You are telling me that the Novaks, red blooded conservative religious midwestern Novaks, ate RED MEAT SO SPARINGLY that Jimmy Novak was LITERALLY starving for it?!?!  No way.  Absolutely no way.  This is a man who was such a religious zealot he STUCK HIS HAND IN BOILING WATER and accepted an angel of the lord into his own body but his secret hunger was for fucking ground beef?

give me a damn break.

to me this is an absolute coverup.  Because Cas’s burger consumption is not related one iota to his vessel Jimmy Novak.

it is a representation of Cas falling.  Cas’s cravings for meat represent his growing (and very much prohibited) feelings for...humanity (Dean Winchester), and they are presenting as Gluttony in the form of his downing more and more copious amounts of red meat.  

SERIOUSLY, consider this - at one point the depiction is so desperately carnal that he is eating raw ground beef with his bare hands. It is fucking uncomfortable.  and it is SUPPOSED to be.  Famine stirs up hunger for the prohibited.  For the sinful. That which we are starving for but do not believe we can ever have, so we lust and we lust and we LUST after it, but should we allow ourselves even just a taste of what we have been ravenously craving, we binge it until we ourselves disappear into the oblivion of our own sinful, dark desires.

Since You Want More Examples of why this cant possibly be hunger for Cheeseburgers and Cheeseburgers alone, Consider Famine’s effect on Dean.  Remember his doctor kink?

**when its revealed that Doctor Corman has succumbed to Famine’s poison by drinking himself to death, Dean - very uncharacteristically by the way - reacts by saying out loud

DEAN Thanks. Crap! I really kind of liked this guy.

***please note that Doctor Corman says the following to Dean in the prior scene they have together -

DR. CORMAN [to Dean]

Agent Marley, you just can't stay away.

****was that a flirtation?

***Also, Dean doesn’t want to go out and chase tail for Valentines Day.   

SAM

I mean, what do you always call it-- Uh, unattached drifter Christmas?

DEAN 

Oh, yeah. Well... be that as it may...I don't know. Guess I'm not feeling it this year.

SAM 

So you're not into bars full of lonely women?

DEAN 

Nah, I guess not. [takes a sip of his beer] Ahh. What?

SAM 

That's when a dog doesn't eat-- That's when you know something's really wrong.

***oh look we are relating things to eating again.  sex/lust to gluttony.  hmmm hmmm hmmm

ANYHOW -  *takes deep breath*

 this is also the Episode Where This Scene Lives

****JACKTING JOICES

oh and speaking of jacting joices, this is also the Dean Notices Cupids Crotch Episode.

frAckles, I am once again asking why you only permit celestial beings to hug you from behi-[gunshots]

but Dean isn’t hungry.  Why? Famine has the explanation, and we get it after Dean immediately runs inside after Cas heads in to complete his portion of their plan barely giving him any time to do so because he misses him that much.

FAMINE 

I disagree. [Famine moves closer to Dean and touches him] Yes. I see. That's one deep, dark nothing you got there, Dean. Can't fill it, can you? Not with food or drink. Not even with sex.

DEAN 

Oh, you're so full of crap.

FAMINE 

Oh, you can smirk and joke and lie to your brother, lie to yourself, but not to me! 

***not Dean making all of those homophobic/homoerotic jokes every time he’s in danger or feeing uncomfortable; not that, that can’t possibly be what Famine is referencing, right?

I can see inside you, Dean. I can see how broken you are, how defeated. 

***not THIS parallel:

AMARA:

You're a mystery. I can see inside your heart. Feel the love you feel, except… It's cloaked in shame

You can't win, and you know it. But you just keep fighting. Just... keep going through the motions. 

***not the motions of performative heterosexuality!!

***Dean’s not hungry because in his heart he truly believes that he can’t actually have what he hungers for.  That Thing Which This Episode Overtly but Also Very Clearly Made Obvious.  It’s an angel riding shotgun [I did Do That and I am Not Sorry], eating a burger in the front seat of the impala.  But, I’ve deviated from the meat of this essay [gunshots] [this time just for the bad joke].

BONUS

there’s Exists another episode in which a man ravenously consumes red meat; eventually succumbing to eating raw beef with his bare hands in the season prior to this one.  

Yes Supernatural the Show That Brought Us Not One But Two Scenes of Persons Carnally Consuming Red Meat With Their Bare Hands.  

This episode is a MOTW - the man in question is a rougaru - a monster that starts out as human but due to some specific genetic disorder (hmmm hmmm hmm crack in THE chassis hmmm hmmm) soon begins to be extremely hungry - “for everything, but eventually long pig.” AKA human flesh. 

Wanna know the kicker?  

Episode’s called Metamorphosis.

(GIF by jackttwist)

I’ll see myself out.

[DOUBLE BONUS for extra credit:

if you really wanna wild out, go watch the scene of Jack the rougaru looking at himself in the mirror in 4x04 - and then meander on over to 7x01 and check out God!stiel looking in the mirror as the leviathans writhe inside him over there. It’s worth the walk.]

***oh and @lilac-void​ im tagging you in this one because in exchange for your KIND creator content nomination I guess I will respond by cursing you with an Honorary tag in this, a Meat Meta.  you’re welcome slash I'm sorry XO [but seriously thank you again for your kindness and appreciation; it really motivated me to sit down and get moving on making more content <3]

[ingek73]

Why are white elites afraid of Black babies?

What the latest controversial statements by the UK’s Prince William reveal about white angst.

Patrick Gathara

Communications consultant, writer, and award-winning political cartoonist based in Nairobi.

Published On 1 Dec 2021

[Patrick Gathara/Al Jazeera]

The second in line to the British throne, Prince William, has once again caused an uproar by blaming population growth in Africa for the declining fortunes of the continent’s wildlife. Many have pointed out the hypocrisy of a father of three demonising African households for having too many babies.

Others have noted that the United Kingdom is much more densely populated than any part of Africa and that British hunters and colonial settlers have been responsible for the savage decimation of animals. Not to mention the effect of global warming and climate change, majorly caused by William’s ancestors, countrymen and neighbours, which may endanger between 25 and 40 percent of mammal species in national parks in Africa.

However, little has been said about the historic discomfort of white elites with Black fertility and Black babies. It was the second time William was complaining about the continent’s rising population having previously raised the issue in 2017. That same year, French President Emmanuel Macron, who also likes to talk about African birthrates, blamed the continent’s “civilisational” problems on nations that “have seven or eight children per woman”.

And of course, there were the perhaps not entirely surprising allegations last year by William’s own sister-in-law, Meghan, an African American woman, that some in the royal family were concerned about the possibility of her and Prince Harry’s son not being the desired royal colour.

The Western angst about population growth is often presented in absolutist terms: “The fundamental point of The Population Bomb is still self-evidently correct, we believe: the capacity of Earth to produce food and support people is finite” wrote Paul and Anne Ehrlich in 2009 about their influential 1968 book on the dangers of overpopulation. They reiterated their position that “there are only two kinds of solutions to the population problem. One is a ‘birthrate solution’, in which we find ways to lower the birthrate. The other is a ‘death rate solution’, in which ways to raise the death rate – war, famine, pestilence – find us.”

However, if they could collect all the infinity stones and snap their fingers – just like Thanos, the villain of Marvel’s Avengers: Infinity War – it is unlikely they would, like him, erase populations equally across the globe to achieve the optimum number of people Earth could supposedly comfortably hold. It is telling that the troubling, apocalyptic descriptions in The Population Bomb are about teeming misery in non-white countries such as India, not in Europe or North America.

In the same way, the language of environmental and humanitarian concern is employed today to disguise darker fears. In contrast to Africa’s youthful and growing population, and despite William’s personal efforts, the population of Europe is ageing and stagnating. Within a century, the number of Africans could more than triple to 4.5 billion, accounting for two in every five human beings, while Europeans will likely decline by about a hundred million. By 2100, there could well be seven Africans for every European.

With the rise of Asian giants like China and India already supercharging white racist fears (and partly driving the resurgence of right-wing extremism), the prospect of Europeans taking a back seat to Africans as well is undoubtedly adding fuel to the fire.

In truth, as Kenyan ecologist, Dr Mordecai Ogada, co-author of The Big Conservation Lie, which focused on the policy problems and prejudices underlying wildlife conservation in the country, says, “the absolute numbers of people in Africa are far from being a problem for our environment more so because of the very light footprint of the people here”. He points out that many Indigenous communities have little incentive to harm the environment which they directly rely on to fulfil essential needs.

And when it comes to the environment, many Western do-gooders “look at human numbers instead of human behaviour”. It is the same flawed argument that claims African communities that have lived with wildlife for millennia are the real threat, while Westerners who have driven much of their own wildlife to extinction, have the answers.

The talk of overpopulation also feeds into a narrative that seeks to completely exonerate the West from the problems facing Africa. Africa – the tale they would like to tell goes – is poor and starving because it has too many Africans who are very bad at running their own affairs without murdering each other, and incapable of managing the natural resources and wildlife the continent is blessed with. Sound familiar? It was the justification for the “civilising mission” that was the cover for the brutal European plunder of the continent.

The legacy of colonialism and its genocides, displacements and murders; the trade and financial systems that continue to milk the continent for the benefit of outsiders and at the expense of locals; the interventions to prop up murderous, kleptocratic regimes; and the destruction of the global environment all pale into insignificance when compared with the misfortune of actually hosting Africans. Like his ancestors before him, this is what William considers the continent’s – and the planet’s – true tragedy.

The views expressed in this article are the author’s own and do not necessarily reflect Al Jazeera’s editorial stance.

[fanficbitch]

In Another Life // Outburst

Aaron Hotchner x y/n

July 2009

Not that I expected much, but hotels in Buffalo aren’t the most luxurious. My room has two queen beds, a chair off to the side, a night stand, tv stand with tv and a couple of ugly pictures on the wall. There is one in particular that has me transfixed. It is a painting of a woman walking through a field of very tall grass. It is as if she is walking into sun or some far off light. It makes me wish that sometimes I had a simpler life. It makes me wish that I wasn’t always traveling. But that’s just a dream.

I turn back to the tv which has been softly playing in the background of my thoughts. It is so early in the morning that the only thing that is really on is infomercials. The particular one on is about some special blender, but I don’t really care so I turn it off.

It’s our first night on this case so we actually are able to get some sleep. Well, the rest of the team is getting sleep. I’m sitting here awake at 2 in the morning. I’ve found it harder to sleep when we’re on an away case since I realized my feelings for Hotch. It’s just hard when I know he is only a few rooms over. Actually, I think he is in room 413. He said it when we checked in case we needed anything. And selfishly, I need him right now. 

I move my feet so they are dangling off the bed. What’s the harm in going to say hi to a friend? Nothing. Will he even be awake? Of course he will, it’s Hotch.

My feet start moving although I don’t feel in control of them. They drive me to the door then three doors down to 413. Then my hands start moving without my consent. I raise my right hand to the door and give it two knocks. 

It suddenly occurs to me that I might have heard him wrong earlier and this isn’t his room. I could be bothering some random person in the middle of the night. Or even worse, someone on the team. I prepare to sprint back to my room, but the door opens before I get very far.

“Y/N?” Hotch asks with a raised eyebrow. Somehow when he is in his white pajama shirt and checkered pajama pants he still looks amazing. “Can I help you with something?”

My mouth opens, but nothing comes out. “I couldn’t sleep and I thought you might be up.”

He gives me a small smile. “Well you were right,” he says then steps to the side so I can walk in his room. It’s pretty similar to mine, except there is a king bed instead of two queen beds and papers spread over the surface. “I work when I can’t sleep,” he says from behind me.

“I see that. Do you want some help?”

“Of course,” he says then sits on the left side of the bed while I clear some space on the right side and sit next to him. 

I intently read some of the case notes, but don’t get very far. “Was there any particular reason you were up?” Hotch asks nonchalantly.

“Just these hotel beds,” I lie. “Why were you up?”

He just turns and smiles at me. “What?” I ask.

“I have a feeling you know why I was up since you knew I was awake,” he says and my cheek flush red.

Of course I knew why he was up. I know Hotch too well not to know that. I wonder if he really knows why I was up? That I can’t stop thinking about him.

“Okay,” I say, trying to redirect attention back to the case. “We deducted that he has OCD because of the video he sent in. But, was there any finger prints or anything on the video? Maybe he licked the envelope?”

“Nope,” Hotch says. “He must of been using gloves and taped the envelope.”

I bite my lip and look down at the papers. “I love when you do that,” I hear from next to me. I look up slowly, waiting for him to continue. “When you bite your lip and furrow your eyebrows in thought. I always know something brilliant is coming after that look.”

“I don’t think anything brilliant is coming this time,” I say as I throw myself back onto the pillows. 

“I know it’s in there,” he says, not taking his eyes off me but sitting back on the pillows as well. There is a silence between us. I cross my legs so my left knee is brushing against his covered thigh.

“So, how is Jack? I feel like I haven’t seen him in a while,” I ask.

Hotch nods a few times. “He’s good. He’s really gotten into soccer lately and he’s starting to get kinda good.”

“Wow!” I exclaim. 

“Yeah, you’ll have to come to one of his games.”

“Yeah, I would love that!”

“I also hear his coach is pretty cool,” Hotch says.

“Hmm, who happens to be his coach?” I ask with a raised eyebrow.

“Oh, he doesn’t like to brag,” he says. “You’ll just have to come to his game to see him.”

“Interesting, interesting,” I whisper. I lean my head against the headboard so I can look in Hotch’s eyes. 

I don’t really know how it happened, but the silence between us ends when we start kissing. Suddenly, I am on Hotch’s lap and his hands are on my waist. I wrap my arms around his neck so my fingers can play with his hair. 

Wow he is a really good kisser. And his lips taste like mint. Yum. This whole situation is too overwhelming to comprehend. I am making out with my boss who I have secretly had a crush on for months.

Little touches here and there and stolen glances across the room have amounted to this moment.

After a while, our kisses slow and we pull away so our noses are touching. “Why don’t I clean off the bed and you spend the night in here?” Hotch asks. The butterflies in my stomach begin to flutter. All I can do is nod. Hotch moves me off his lap and onto the bed. He quickly gathers the papers then throws them on the chair in the corner of the room.

Hotch pulls back the covers and we both slip under them. We arrange ourselves so Hotch is spooning me. That thought runs chills down my spine. Hotch is spooning me. Chills.

His fingers are drawing circles on my hip. “It’s much easier to sleep like this,” I whisper.

“I know,” he says, feeling his breath on my ear. “These hotels get so lonely.”

We stay silent for the rest of the night. I quickly fall asleep being in the comfort of Hotch’s arms.

It’s even better when I wake up in the morning nuzzled in Hotch’s chest. However, I am woken up by his voice. “Hotchner,” I hear. I stir slightly and look up to see Hotch holding his phone to his ear. “Alright, be there soon,” he says then looks down at me. He hangs up and places his phone on the nightstand. “They need us at the station.”

“I’m not surprised,” I say as I try to sit up, but Hotch pulls me back down. 

“Just five more seconds,” he says and squeezes me tight. I hear him counting down under his breath and he finally releases me on one. We both sit up and stare at each other. 

“I should get back to my room,” I say quietly.

“It was nice having you here,” he says.

“You definitely made it easier to sleep,” I smile. “I’ll see you downstairs,” I say as I climb out of bed. I try to walk away, but he catches my hand and pulls me down for a last kiss. I smile as I pull away, as does he. I scamper to the door and down the hallway to my room. Once I am inside, I can’t control myself. I jump up and down and silently scream. I just slept in the same bed as Aaron Hotchner. Oh my god. 

[cosmic-chelonian]

CLASSIC DOCTOR WHO OPENING THEMES - pros and cons

let's assess the relative merits of wum-in-ne-nums, oo-wee-ooos and much more!

1963

opening shwoop: alas, absent

wum-in-ne-num: TWANGY GRITTY! FULL OF CHARACTER! The Original Wum-in-ne-num™, you might say.

background: some very nice white-noise shwoopage, gives the thing a bit of texture and the idea of travelling through a time vortex

oo-wee-oo: perfection doesn’t exi-

middle eight: something about the resonance of the tune bugs me, but still gorgeous

VERDICT: there's no other word for it. Iconic. While, as a synth-head, I prefer some later themes, this one was absolutely pioneering for the time and lasted the show a good fifteen years, with some tweaks. The main tune has an eerie quality that all future iterations fail to capture.

1980

opening shwoop: damn, that's the majestic swoop we've all been waiting for. Hits you like a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. Peak shwoopage right here.

wum-in-ne-num: a fruity and distorted sound with a lot of character. Has such a sense of forward momentum, unlike the slightly more laid-back '63 iteration. I don't think there are many synth sounds in the world I love more that this particular wum-in-ne-num. I just *snivels* love it so much

background: nice fluttering noises. Somebody had a lot of fun playing about with their Moog. Gives me Morgenspaziergang vibes.

There's a lot going in in this theme, but I don't mind the thick texture. Special shoutout for the woo-woo-wooooo wooooo woo-wooo that takes over from the tune. Yeah, I heard you. Nyowm, baby.

oo-wee-oo: like an alien screaming through the cosmos about its own weird mix of joie-de-vivre and latent cosmic angst. Translation: bloody gorgeous.

middle eight: WHY, WHY, WHY WOULD YOU GO AND RUIN IT? Suddenly the alien has a Metebelis marsh frog stuck in its throat, and I'm the one with cosmic angst. A very harsh synth sound which doesn't go with the altogether mellow effect of this theme. Hearing it break into the middle 8 is like sunbathing at the Eye of Orion when the planet suddenly plays host to an impromptu Disaster Area gig. Translation: yeurgh.

VERDICT: my personal favourite tune with its killer combo of groovy wum-in-ne-num and killer oo-wee-oo. Plus it's SYNTHY. Yum.

1986

opening shwoop: solid, but a bit harsh in the high tones. Not much between this and 1980 though.

wum-in-ne-num: again, solid bass. A bit more faithful to the 'plucked' sound of the original, but I personally prefer the 1980 variant. It's still a synth bass, though, and it still slaps.

background: magic! space! time! the flutter noises are back, even weirder than before! But wait... this time our alien has been joined by the spectre of a trans-dimensional cat meowling about its own none too paltry share of cosmic angst. Not going to lie, I dig it. It really makes this version of the theme.

oo-wee-oo: ehhhh I mean I kind of like it. It's a bit less characterful that the 1980 one.

whatever the hell happens to the main tune: I mean... it is criminal to change the golden 1963 tune, but actually this gets away with it. It's still very clearly Doctor Who, it has the wum-in-ne-nums to keep that vibe, so it can afford to go into chaos-at-the-cattery mode.

VERDICT: a little out there but still a solid synth track with impeccable sixth doctor energy. Pretty good considering how quickly this one was knocked up.

1987

shwoop: a bit more low-key than previous examples of introductory swoopage, but it's quite a beautiful example imho

wum-in-ne-num: "hahaha what's that? I think you mean t t t-t t-t t-ttt-" Yeah. I'm sorry, 1987, but one does not simply change the Sacred Wum-in-ne-num. Naughty theme. Bad.

background: what did you do with my beautiful flutters? Unfortunately the stuttering bassline and lack of other other background noise means this tune loses some of the necessary momentum. Rather than flying through the time vortex, it feels like we're trying to roller-skate away from Daleks trying to be careful not to lose our balance.

oo-wee-oo: I actually have a secret soft-spot for this. Like most of this theme, it's a touch over-stylised, but I think it sounds kinda spacey. Good job.

Middle eight: Hem, yeah. Nice enough noise.

VERDICT: just groovy enough not to be criminal, but it's a fine line.

Discuss!

[awigglycultist]

Pt 1 of The Guide: Starkid/Team Starkid/Starkid Productions (SK). I can't really think of much to say about them as whole. They make musicals and few webseries. I love them. They got started off in 2009 in college thanks to Harry Potter. I'll get into the more later.

Little White Lie (LWL). This is a webseries not a musical but it has plenty of songs in it. This was actually made before AVPM though it wasn't uploaded until after. It absolutely screams early 2000s. Everything about it is very early 2000s. Will probably give you the same vibes as Zoey101 if you watched that show. Ends on a cliff hanger, they were gonna make a season 2 but never did, tho there is a summary of how it would've gone. Its pretty short. It's good, it was one of the first things they made so not 10/10 but it's certainly not bad. It's Dear Evan Hansen but better.

Summary: Brother and Sister Duder and Sami Reese are a band that suck. After someone else gets into an accident they decide to lie and steal all their music to make it big.

A Very Potter Musical (AVPM). Was the first musical of theirs to go on youtube (bc it was cheaper than making DVDs for their family), and launched Starkid bc it went viral in the Harry Potter fandom, and thanks to this they kept making musicals and putting them on youtube. Made back in college, it's simple, funny, especially if you like Harry Potter, not amazing quality, and that goes for several of their early musicals, but hey it was 2009, it's kinda a mix of a few of the books and doesn't really take place durning a set year of school. Have you that hufflepuffs are particularly good finders? Or heard the audio "did someone say Draco Malfoy!?" both of those come from this. Also btw there's three Very Potter musicals and together their knows as A Very Potter Trilogy (AVPT). Also, Starkid hate JKR so dw about if you'd be supporting ppl who support her.

Summary: Uhm I'm honestly not really sure how to explain the plot to it. Ginny tries to get with Harry, Harry tries to get with Cho Chang, the tri wizard tournament happens, Quirrell has Voldemort attached to him and Voldemort plans on destroying Hogwarts.

Me and My Dick (MAMD). Ppl have anthropomorphic genitals. It's pretty sexual. But also funny and honestly a pretty sweet and cute story when get past the innuendos.

Summary: This dude named Joey is best friends with his dick (named Dick). He has a crush on this hot popular girl. Meanwhile his friend Sally has a crush on him. Joey and Dick get into an argument and quite literally Dick like unattaches himself and runs away.

A Very Potter Sequel (AVPS). Takes place in their first year of school. It's probably the most liked of AVPT, and it's definitely my favorite of AVPT. Warning the depiction of Umbridge in this is a bit transphobic but they've apologized for this.

Summary: Lucius Malfoy wants to get rid of Harry Potter once for all, so he travels back in time to Harry's first year at Hogwarts to do so.

Starship. Quite long. Imagine The Little Mermaid but instead of Mermaids it's a planet of huge bugs and instead of ppl on a boat it's astronauts. Or maybe imagine the Bee Movie but space. It's great. Theres also a subplot romance of a robot and one of the human astronauts. It's hilarious, it's fun, it's a good story, it's a long one, definitely one of my faves. Not gonna explain the plot bc it really is very similar to the plot of The Little Mermaid, but also it has more characters and is better (sorry Little Mermaid, space bugs are better and cooler).

Holy Musical B@man. A Batman parody. It's more like Lego Batman then any other Batman movie. It's a parody, it's not serious, it's just stupid and silly and fun. Lots of puns. It's ridiculous in a good way. My dad likes this one. Have you heard "I wanna be a modern dancer!"

Summary: Batman is sad and lonely. Superman is a jerk. Alfred finds Robin and is like "hey Batman check out this orphan kid!" in an attempt to get him a friend. They ofc become best friends. Sweet Tooth (basically The Joker) wrangles all the villains together to properly take over Gotham for once and for all.

A Very Potter Senior Year (AVPSY). Sorta fan fair, and it's a sweet ending to the trilogy. A lot of ppl are put off by the stage and the fact they're holding scripts, but: they performed this at a convention, and they only had two days to rehearse. So if you can look past that it's good (at least imo). Takes place in their last year. Long.

Summary: Gildroy Lockhart is a new professor at Hogwarts and everyone's lost interest in Harry and only cares about Gildroy and Harry is not happy about it, until he find out that Voldemort has returned.

Twisted: The Untold Story of a Royal Vizier (or just Twisted). It's like Wicked but for Aladdin. It's amazing and awesome and fantastic and the best. An amazing mix of humor and seriousness. Amazing music. Amazing story. Amazing acting. Literally everything is amazing.

Summary: Aladdin but Jafar is the protagonist/hero. Trailer

ANI: A Parody (or just ANI). It's a parody of Star Wars. Also makes Darth Vadar the good guy for the most part but not really inspired by Wicked like Twisted is, in Twisted the point is that Ja'far is the good guy, in this its not the point. A lot of ppl don't like ANI bc they find it not very funny and the way the music is done strange. It's not a typical musical, the actors on stage aren't the ones singing, they still have choreo to the songs tho. Personally it's definitely not my favorite but it has some really funny characters in it though I'm sure it's best enjoyed if you actually know Star Wars.

Summary: Anakin is a little loser man and no one likes him but he used to pod race and he now he's gotta prove that he still has it in him and pod race once again. Trailer

The Trail To Oregon (TTO). It's a parody of the game The Oregon Trail. It's got quite a bit of potty humour, well particularly the ending, but overall it's still very funny. It's, I believe, the shortest SK musical. My dad likes this one a lot too.

Summary: Follows a dysfunctional family and their journey down the Oregon Trail. The dad is an idiot. The mom is overbearing but also the only one with sense. The son is a 7 yr old boy so ofc he's stupid too. The daughter is a typical teen girl. And the grandfather hates the dad (his stepson). The daughter falls in love with this mysterious cool man who then kidnaps her! Oh no he evil! The family breaks apart but then ofc has to bands together to save their daughter. You also get to pick the ending you want, it's all really the same ending you're just changing who sings and getting to hear a couple different jokes. Trailer (skip to 1:23)

Firebringer. The dawn of humanity. Dumb cave people. Dumb gay cave women. Like ANI it's not the funniest as a whole to me or to most people, but it does have one of the funniest characters, it does also have some really cool music. But it is a really fun and great story. Have you ever seen the "I don't really wanna do the work today?" vine/meme? Or heard the "what if I tried something new and it-" "backfired!" audio? Both of those come from this.

Summary: Zazzalil invents the spear but Jemilla is like "no that's dangerous!" the whole thing is kinda about safety vs innovation. Also Jemilla is the leader of the tribe. Then Zazzalil accidentally discovers fire and kicks Jemilla out and becomes the new leader. Turns out fire is very dangerous oopsie! Also there's this big saber toothed tiger thing that everyone's afraid and they decide to go kill, Also the ending is VERY suprising and unexpected (although the writers somehow thought everyone would except it) Trailer

Movies Musicals and Me (MM&M). It's a short webseries wheres there's no real plot exactly. It's just an excuse really to make parody songs for fake musicals. It follows a guy whose been in all of these musicals and is iconic and stuff but he's also super egotistical and the series has him going through singing different songs for the musicals he's been in and talking a bit about them along with others who were in those musicals with him or directed or produced or are a fan or something also taking about him and how Great™ he is. Trailer (which explains the series better than I did I feel like)

VHS Christmas Carol (VHSCC). It's they're shortest musical, being only one act, and unlike their other musicals it's 100% songs. It's easily one of my favorite Starkid shows and I could watch it a million times in a row. It has some the best songs of all their shows, it's so hard to choose a favorite.

It's the classic Charles Dickens tale A Christmas Carol but a musical and in the 80s! Originally it was done in 2020 with everyone in front of greenscreens and edited together to give it an 80's vhs tape vibe. In 2021 they a did a short live run of the show still with an 80's vhs background and 80's clothes, this is the version that's on youtube. Trailers: first, second