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ineffable-romantics · 1 year

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Some thoughts on why and how I believe Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship would incorporate sex/why I do not read them as wholly asexual:

This is something I've seen the most discourse about in this fandom, and I've had a few thoughts of my own that I really wanted to expand upon in a full meta/character analysis post. I do understand that this can be a contentious topic, so first, let me clarify a few things:

First of all, this is going to be long. Tbh it probably won't be that organized either. I ramble and I'm not very good at editing, so just... you know. Be warned. (*Hi, it's me from 2 days after writing this; I'm really not kidding, it's LONG)

These are all my own thoughts. They might not be hot takes, because recently I've seen more than a few people come to the same conclusions on a lot of these points as I have. But I've also had these notes in my drafts for about a week and a half now, and have been continuously adding to it as things have occurred to me. This post is essentially just somewhere for me to collect the separate but related meta I've been kicking around in my head.

I fully respect anyone who does see and prefer an asexual reading of this relationship. These are my own thoughts and interpretations as someone who is not asexual. I am in the LGBT+ community, so while I do know a few things about the asexuality spectrum, I am by no means an expert.

This is NOT something I expect, need, or even necessarily want the show (or, God forbid, Neil's tumblr ask box) to address. Tonally, it's just not that kind of show. Newt and Anathema's sex scene was very much played for laughs, and it worked for that reason. If the show found a way to address it in a way that was both appropriate for the tone of the show and ultimately satisfying, then great! But there is so much more to this relationship than sex, and I didn't need a kiss to confirm their love, so I certainly don't need a sex scene. As immortal beings (as I assume they'll stay) there is so much of the rest of their lives we'll never get to see. You can headcanon them as asexual and potentially be right. I can headcanon them as not and be equally potentially right. Again, these are just a collection of my own thoughts, because I think the question of sexuality (or lack thereof) is just as interesting a facet of these characters as any other.

Note: Tbh I've been second-guessing this whole post and debated deleting the whole thing several times for being silly or unnecessary, bc I don't want anyone to think that this is the only thing I care about when it comes to this story/characters. But if nothing else, it's inspired me to write in a way that nothing has in a very long time, so I've decided it's worth continuing, if for no other reason than that.

This is going to be a mixed bag of textual reading, subtextual reading, and a full-on reach or two. It's been a while since I've been in an English class, but if my teachers expected me to find a deeper meaning behind blue curtains, you can expect me to read too deeply into the symbolism of a loaded rifle or an ox rib. (This is probably not what my professors had in mind when grading my literary analysis papers but oh well) My point is, if it feels like a reach, I'm as aware of it as you are. I am in no way saying that all (or even any) of my points made were deliberate on the part of Neil or the actors or the writers or the directors. I am no longer the delulu Apple Tree Yard child of my youth, I promise.

If anything said here is in any way offensive or hurtful to anyone in the asexual community, please do not hesitate to message me or comment and let me know exactly what it was. I promise you it is not my intention to do so, and am happy to clarify or outright edit anything that reads that way.

With all that being said, let's talk about why I think Crowley and Aziraphale would absolutely fuck nasty incorporate sex into their relationship.

Note: I am out of practice with essay writing, so I think I'll just go down the bullet points of notes I have been making, and expand on each as best I can

Food

Where better to start than with Aziraphale's introduction to Pleasures Of The Flesh? (Just a heads up, this entire post may feel very Aziraphale-heavy, and with good reason).

This might be the least hot take here. We've all seen the Job minisode. We've all seen That Scene.

Whether this was intentional or not, the symbolism here is off the charts. Eve was tempted by an apple. So why not go a similar route and tempt Aziraphale with another fruit, or cheese, or bread, or literally anything else for his first experience with food? Instead, we go with a huge, glistening slab of fresh meat that he proceeds to absolutely go feral upon, moaning and gasping into his meal while Crowley watches with what definitely doesn't look to be disgust or even satisfaction with a good temptation. There's surprise at the ferocity of Aziraphale's appetite, certainly. But ultimately he looks to be intensely fascinated by it, while the thunder crashes, the music crescendos, and the earth literally shakes around them.

(It's also interesting to note how very little it takes for Crowley to tempt him with the ox rib. One murmured suggestion, a bit of unwavering eye contact, and vavoom Aziraphale immediately meets him in the middle.)

Cut to Aziraphale devouring the rest of the meat with Crowley splayed back on a makeshift bed, drinking wine and continuing to watch him indulge through half-lidded eyes. Outside a thunderstorm rages while they're learning secrets about each other in warm flickering firelight. It's cosy, it's intimate, and if they'd thrown in a bearskin throw blanket, it might as well be a post-coital scene straight out of Game of Thrones.

The next time (chronologically) we see them discuss food is when Aziraphale "tempts" Crowley with oysters in Rome. So Crowley first tempts Aziraphale with meat and then Aziraphale tempts Crowley with what is widely regarded to be an aphrodisiac. Interesting.

And then chronologically after that, the Arrangement begins to form, which has always reeked of a friends with benefits situation. Just to throw that in there.

It's What Humans Do

In the very first episode, we're shown Gabriel's obvious disgust and bewilderment towards Aziraphale eating sushi, calling it "gross matter" and being proud of the fact that he does not sully his body with it. Aziraphale initially tries to defend his own enjoyment in it, before passing it off as something that humans do, as something he simply has to do in order to blend in (which we know very well is not the case).

He does this again in season 2, passing off Nina and Maggie being in love as "something humans do". But it isn't, is it? Angels are beings of love, and can sense it, and understand very well what it is... up to a point. Even romantic love is obviously within their wheelhouse, given what we now know happened between Gabriel and Beelzebub (we'll come back to them).

What the "humans do" that angels wouldn't understand is messy, physical forms of love.

But here's the thing: Aziraphale and Crowley love doing what the humans do. They love drinking, they (or at least Aziraphale) love eating. They love music. Crowley loves driving and sleeping and watching rom-coms and sitcoms. Aziraphale loves reading and doing magic and earning little licenses and certificates for achievement in his various hobbies. They love to playact at being human so much that they've stopped playacting and started building a genuinely human lifestyle for themselves and with each other.

Once together in an unambiguously romantic sense, why do we think they wouldn't also want to explore one of the most prominent, intimate, powerful human expressions of love and desire with each other?

Angels, Demons, & Asexuality

Here's where I really want to clarify that in no way do I mean that sex is necessary for a healthy, fulfilling, and loving romantic relationship, or that the lack of desire for sex makes you any less human. Asexuality is a sexuality as valid and human as any. What I would say is that it is definitely in the human minority compared to allosexuality.

Angels and demons, on the other hand, are predominately asexual. Sexless/genderless unless Making An Effort. (Which, btw, is a concept introduced as early as the original book; why even bring it up as a possibility? Why not keep angels/demons being sexless/asexual as a hard and fast rule, if not to open up the potential for later use? Chekhov's Effort, if you will. And isn't that something that Aziraphale in particular is shown to do time and time again? He makes an effort in French and driving and magic, doesn't he?)

And this is why I don't believe Aziraphale and Crowley necessarily need to be asexual, narratively. There is already a huge amount of ace rep within the angels and demons (and no, not just the horrible ones. Muriel also doesn't "drink the tea" and has no reason or desire thus far to Make An Effort, and there are certainly other angels and demons who aren't horrible like the archangels seem to be who likely wouldn't Make An Effort either).

The central conflict for Aziraphale and Crowley is that they are on their own side, the ones who went native, the ones who are so different in so many ways from their respective hives. It would make sense for them to also break away from traditional angel/demon asexuality.

I say "traditional angel/demon asexuality", because I would also like to note that I would absolutely not rule out demisexuality for either of them. This post is being written to as a response to people who specifically believe that they (like the rest of the angels/demons seem to be) would be sex-averse in a relationship, and that it wouldn't be a factor in their relationship. I could easily read them as demisexual, but I do think there would be no real way of verifying this, because they've never been able to form as close an emotional relationship with anyone else but each other. Certainly not in heaven, and I can't imagine they would be able to form that kind of attachment with any of the humans, who they love and emulate but ultimately regard as the separate species they are. So yes, they could either be allosexual or demisexual, in my opinion.

Then again, now that I think about it, Making An Effort itself could be a great metaphor for demisexuality, since they would be entirely sexless/asexual until they have enough of an emotional connection with someone to consciously manifest otherwise. Since the other angels and demons don't generally form those types of emotional connections with anyone, there hasn't been a precedent for it.

Except...

Brielzebub

We do have a precedent for it now, don't we? Gabriel and Beelzebub fell in love. They are a direct foil for Crowley and Aziraphale's relationship, speedrunning right through their courtship and finding their happily ever after on the other side of things.

For being such a 1 to 1 comparison, it feels deliberate that they did not kiss. They held hands, they were gooey with each other, but they did not kiss. That feels like such a deliberate thing to omit when you know what's to come at the end of the episode between Crowley and Aziraphale.

And going back to the food = sex metaphor for a moment, let's notice how even as they fell in love over the years, even when pints and crisps were there on the table in front of them, they never felt the desire to reach out for them. They didn't need to. It's a date (love story) even if you aren't eating dinner (sleeping together).

Yes, I know Jim liked hot chocolate. No, I am not counting it because I don't consider Jim and Gabriel to be the same person with the same proclivities, and Jim was highly suggestible at the time anyway.

Gabriel and Brielzebub's big happily ever after moment (as of now) was one between two asexual supernatural beings. They did not need to kiss to drive the point home. They showed what Crowley and Aziraphale could have, if they would only acknowledge it.

Crowley & Aziraphale's Dissatisfaction

But they do have that already, don't they? If you really think about it, what do Gabriel and Beelzebub do with each other that Crowley and Aziraphale don't already? They hold hands, they spend time together, they create little rituals, they give gifts, they're visibly and verbally affectionate with each other, etc. They are more or less already in a romantic asexual marriage relationship with each other, aren't they?

And it doesn't seem to be enough for either of them.

At the beginning of the season, Crowley is immediately shown to be unsatisfied with the way things are. Obviously part of it comes from living in his car, but it seems to be more than that (especially since Aziraphale makes it clear that the bookshop is just as much Crowley's as his, implying that he could have been living there the whole time and is choosing not to, for some reason?). You could argue he's feeling unmoored without Hell telling him what to do, but isn't that what he wanted? Isn't that what he still wants, by the end of the season? All season long, he's never indicated the desire for a new job, or a new project. He stopped the apocalypse because he wanted the freedom to openly spend time with Aziraphale, to spend his time on Earth however he sees fit. Until Gabriel arrives, he has exactly that (minus a flat).

So where does the dissatisfaction come from? And if it represents anything to do with his relationship, what does he want out of it that he isn't getting already?

I think Crowley only really comes to the realisation of what he's missing when Nina names it for him, not only putting them in the category of romantic, but physical (outright asking if they are sleeping together). These two posts [1], [2] go into more detail about what I mean, but I think it really pushes him into acknowledging that their relationship is more human than either of them have stopped to consider, and what that might mean as far as everything a human relationship can entail.

After all, Nina and Maggie only advised that he should talk to Aziraphale, make clear his feelings. The decision to kiss him, to tip them over the edge from nonphysical to physical, that was all him. And no, kissing isn't sex, but I wonder how taboo even that might be in the kind of all-encompassing asexuality most angels seem to identify with. (If they're disgusted by food and drink, I can only imagine what they think of snogging, much less sex.)

Aziraphale doesn't have this moment of someone observing their relationship from the outside. He loves Crowley, and as of 1941 probably even knows he's in love with him in a way that Crowley doesn't understand yet. Which makes sense, since love is technically his job, he'd be more likely to recognise it for what it is.

However, Aziraphale's reference for romance and relationships is Jane Austen. It's chaste. It's dancing and dinner and doing sweet things for each other and roses and candles and handholding. He contextualises his love for Crowley in that soft fantasy sort of way, where it's there, it's obviously there, but it's neat and easy and unspoken. Not to quote Glee in this, the year of our lord 2023, but it's all very "the touch of the fingertips is as sexy as it gets".

Someone should tell that to Aziraphale's face, then.

I'm not going to pretend I know what Michael Sheen's script notes were, but there were definitely some Choices™ made. Because yes, there were plenty of moments in both seasons with Aziraphale looking at Crowley in a sweet, loving, smitten way. And then there were moments that were yearning.

But yearning for what, exactly? All of those sappy Jane Austen tropes already apply to the two of them. So why are there moments where Aziraphale is looking Crowley up and down like the last eclair in the window and licking his lips and visibly exhaling like he's trying to get in control of himself (see: Bastille scene + Crowley telling Muriel to ask him if they have any other questions about love)? Why is Aziraphale not only unconcerned when Crowley shoves him bodily up against a wall in s1, but staring at his lips and a beat too late in noticing Sister Mary's arrival? Why are some of his lines so suggestive? I'm sorry, but the car ride after the church explosion might as well have been the beginning of a Pizza Man porn with a really weird Blitz theme. If even my mother picked up on that vibe, I can't imagine it wasn't intentional on part of both the dialogue and the delivery.

(This section may feel like more of a reach/joke, but I'm really only 20% joking. These are writers and actors who are EXTREMELY good at their jobs; they know what they were doing here.)

More importantly, I don't think Aziraphale is even aware that there is more to what he wants. He lives in the Jane Austen fantasy and it never even occurs to him that he might be interested in anything further. It never even occurs to him that, as an angel, there is anything further to be interested in in the first place. Until Crowley forces it to occur to him. Just like I believe Nina forced Crowley to confront the idea that romantic love is what he's been feeling all along, I believe Crowley forced Aziraphale to confront the idea that physical intimacy is something he's been wanting, without even realising.

Aziraphale's Hedonism

Expanding on Aziraphale for a moment. We talked about his relationship with food, but we all know that Aziraphale is defined by his love of things that Feel Good.

It isn't just that he and Crowley love human things. Aziraphale loves the best of the best, or at least his version of it. He doesn't just love food, he loves going to fancy restaurants. He doesn't just love clothes, he loves soft, cosy, warm, plush clothes, or shiny, flashy, bougie fashion. He loves the warmth of tea and cocoa, loves getting drunk, and sitting in a comfy chair in the sunlight. He doesn't just experience, he indulges.

Given the emphasis put on things that Aziraphale loves just because they Feel Good, it feels narratively strange to assume that he wouldn't enjoy the feeling of being touched, or that he wouldn't be willing to try it, at least once, with someone he cared very deeply for. And just like the ox rib, I think that once he gets the first taste of things, he would absolutely tip over into complete and utter self-indulgence.

Dancing

I also think that dancing could be construed as a huge metaphor here. After all, we're told flat-out that angels don't Dance. Except one.

I would argue that Aziraphale, in fact, Made An Effort to learn how to Dance. He threw himself into the gavotte with delight (at a Victorian gay club; noted) and worked hard to be good at it. He's chomping at the bit to Dance with Crowley, working up the nerve to ask him with undeniably romantic intent and eagerness. So, angels don't Dance... unless they Make An Effort to do so.

We are told that demons, on the other hand, do Dance, but not well. Makes sense, since they're the ones who would want to encourage a deadly sin like lust, but have as little understanding of human love and physical intimacy as the angels. Crowley, however, is shown to be an excellent dancer at the ball, especially in his compatibility with Aziraphale.

(But Aziraphale WandaVisioned the ball so everyone knew how to dance! Yes, he did. However, the rest of the brainwashing doesn't seem to affect Crowley in any way, and they did actually live through the time period where this sort of dancing was a social norm; I'd be surprised if he never needed to learn. After all, the demons can't spell either, and Crowley is at least functionally literate, as far as we know.)

As of today, it's also been confirmed that when Aziraphale asked Crowley to dance, Crowley replied with "you don't dance." Not "WE don't dance". So going along with the metaphor, Crowley is just now discovering that Dancing is something Aziraphale is interested in at all, much less with him, and not denying that he himself is interested in Dancing. In his defense, I believe he was asleep for a few years while Aziraphale was learning the gavotte, so he wasn't exactly aware of Aziraphale's hot girl summer.

Love Languages

I want to expand on that; Crowley and Aziraphale's compatibility. Specifically in regards to their individual love languages.

We all know Crowley's love language is Acts of Service. I don't think there's any debate there. He loves it, Aziraphale loves it, they're both aware of it, we're all aware of it, God and Satan are aware of it, no surprise there.

You may disagree with me, but I believe Aziraphale's love language is Physical Touch, for a number of reasons. One of which being his aforementioned hedonism. Aziraphale likes things that Feel Good, remember? He likes soft clothes, and well-worn books. Neil himself has said that they like holding hands. And any time he is taken by surprise (Brielzebub getting together, the wave of love in Tadfield, etc.) what is the first thing he does? Reaches out for Crowley. He stops him with a hand to the chest in the pub. He leads him by the hand to the dance floor. He guides him by the waist in the graveyard. He reaches out during the entire Brielzebub scene, whether he can reach Crowley or not. Despite his own turmoil, he grasps at Crowley's back during the kiss.

The one time Crowley reaches out for him (not counting the kiss yet; we'll get there), he is aggressively pushed against a wall (by someone he loves and trusts) with a complete and utter lack of concern (and perhaps some interest, depending on how you read it).

And when he isn't reaching out for anyone, or there isn't anyone to reach out to? Well, he's wringing his own hands together, squeezing his own fingers, as if to find that physical comfort in himself.

So. With that theory in mind, we have Aziraphale (Physical Touch) + Crowley (Acts of Service). Throw in 6000+ years of deep love, cherished companionship, and forcibly repressed longing, and there is a very real potential of this combination resulting in fierce sexual compatibility. Where Aziraphale would want to touch and be touched, to indulge in physical pleasure with someone he adores, in the same the way he indulges in every other fine thing in his life. And where Crowley would want to indulge him in return, to give him everything he wants, and to take pleasure in Aziraphale's pleasure, in the same way he enjoys watching him take joy in food everything else.

So Aziraphale is an angel who is insecure about his own less-than-holy desires, who would want to treat Crowley like a luxury to be touched and cherished and adored. And Crowley is a demon who has, over the millennia, been unhappy about how they've been forced to deny even their friendship with each other, who would want Aziraphale to feel comfortable and safe and encouraged to indulge in earthly delights. That sounds like a stunning recipe for sexual compatibility to me.

"You said 'trust me'" / "And you did"

Just like the Job minisode, the Blitz is RIFE with symbolism (intentional or otherwise). This one will be quick, but I did want to touch on it because I thought it was interesting. Maybe I'm reaching at this point, but I'm assuming you read the tin.

First of all, Crowley not wanting to admit to never firing a gun before; comes off as someone who very much does not want to admit to their crush that they're a virgin ("You must have done this lots of times!" / "Umm.... yyyyyeah.")

(You could make the argument that Aziraphale having a firearms license and a Derringer in a hollowed-out book is symbolic of him not being a virgin while Crowley is. I disagree, for reasons I'll go into later, but it's a valid reading. However, I see it more like keeping a condom in your wallet; it's there in case you need it, but the opportunity has not yet risen no pun intended.)

More importantly, the theme of this entire minisode is trust. We already know they trust each other with their lives against the rest of Heaven, Hell, and the world. But specifically, this is about the importance of having complete trust in your partner in a charged, physically vulnerable, intimate moment, where the only danger is between the two of you.

Aziraphale needs to believe Crowley would never hurt him if he can help it. Crowley needs to trust Aziraphale's unwavering blind faith in him. Frankly, it all feels very symbolic of two people deeply in love losing their respective virginities with each other.

The trick is a success, and they share an intimate candlelit dinner in which they reaffirm their faith in each other. Aziraphale also begins to voice his agreement with Crowley, that maybe Heaven's rules shouldn't have to be as black and white as they are, and that there are benefits to... blurring the lines, shades of grey, wink wink (at which point even my mom was like, whoa guys, this is a family show).

Btw also: Can we all agree how much it looked like Crowley was getting ready to get a lapdance in that one scene? You know the one.

Also also: "Aim for my mouth"? Come on.

The Birds & The Bees

Now that I think of it, there's also something to be said for the fact that Crowley and Aziraphale are both obviously familiar with where babies come from (how they're made and how they're born) while the other angels aren't.

Something something Aziraphale and Crowley fundamentally understand sex and reproduction in a way the other angels (and probably demons) very much do not, nor have any desire to.

Probably not important. Just thought it was worth mentioning.

The Kiss™ & Religious Trauma

The Kiss. Where to even begin?

This has definitely been the hardest one to start, because there is so much going on here that I definitely won't be able to cover it all, and will certainly miss a few things here and there.

Aziraphale's reaction to the kiss afterwards is the most interesting to me. And I don't mean directly after, I don't mean the "I forgive you" part. I mean the way he touches his lips when Crowley is no longer in the room and he no longer needs to save face, when he is completely alone. Had it been directly after the kiss, it would have been rightfully read as horror, or disgust, a shield to discourage further action.

It's not. It isn't just a touch, it's a press. As desperate and angry and unexpected and imperfect as the kiss had been, Aziraphale is pressing it into himself, recreating the feeling as best he can. Beneath all the poor timing and shock and hurt from their fight and fallout, I think it's fair to say that it was something he enjoyed. Something he doesn't think he should enjoy, something that Feels Good that he only allows himself to indulge in when completely alone.

Remember, Aziraphale's idea of love is Jane Austen and gentleness and courtship and fantasy. If he'd ever even considered kissing an option, it might have been gentle pecks, cheek kisses, forehead kiss, hand kisses. Soft, safe, chaste affection.

Crowley's kiss turns all of that on its head. He introduces physical intimacy in a very real, very messy, very human way that I don't think Aziraphale ever even considered could apply to them. Considering what other angels are like and what they look down on, even Aziraphale's Jane Austen fantasies probably would have been considered taboo.

So for their first kiss to be rough and desperate and passionate in the way it was, of course he was confused and in shock. It was deeply physical, and as overwhelming and awful as it was in the moment, it Felt Good. Enough that he grasped at Crowley and kissed back, if only just for a moment, before stopping himself. Enough that he actively pressed it into his lips afterwards, in private, to remember.

I adore how Neil has decided to evolve these characters past the first book/season. More so in this season, Aziraphale and Crowley have both become such interesting allegories for queer people on either side of the spectrum of toxic religion. Aziraphale in particular obviously, because he is the side that so desperately wants to believe, to make a difference, and to unlearn all of the propaganda he's been fed over such a long time. Just like so much of organised religion, there is so much that he is told, time and time again, that he should not want, that he is silly or stupid or outright wrong for wanting. It reminds me so much of the severe Catholic guilt one might feel for wanting/engaging in sex for the first time, and the stigma of being queer layered on top of that.

What is so critical to Aziraphale's character is that he goes on wanting, and more than that, actively pursues. He was convinced to go up against Heaven and Hell and stop all of Armageddon because he wanted to go on listening to music and eating lunch and reading books and enjoying the simple company of the person he cares most deeply for, even if that person is supposed to be the enemy.

All this to say that if angels are as generally asexual/sex-averse as I believe them to be, narratively speaking, it would make sense for Aziraphale to be singular in that regard as well. Mirroring his first experience with food, it would make sense for Crowley to be the one to first introduce this new messy, physical, human dynamic between them, for Aziraphale to hesitate (obviously we are at the Hesitation phase at the moment), and then (eventually) for him to dive in wholeheartedly, to absolutely glut himself on this new thing that Feels Good. It would make sense for his character development to show him overcoming his metaphorical Catholic guilt and pursuing the sexual intimacy most (if not all) of the other angels would scorn.

(I can't help but remember that plot idea Neil described from the unwritten sequel, with Aziraphale in a hotel room trying to watch a full porno by way of the free 2-minute teaser clips so he wasn't technically sinning by paying for it. I so hope this is used in season 3, because gosh, I wonder why Aziraphale would suddenly be so interested in observing human physical intimacy after 6,000 years. Lonely and doing a little surreptitious research there, angel?)

Crowley, on the other hand, is the queer person who has broken free from his toxic religion. He prides himself on being his own person, on their his own side. He doesn't have the hang-ups Aziraphale does. He doesn't worry that he's going to be judged or cast aside for wanting things he's not supposed to. So it only makes sense for him to be the first one to suggest/initiate physical intimacy. It makes sense for him to be the one who "goes too fast" (another fantastic example of this dynamic beginning as early as s1; what is that conversation in the car meant to represent, if not Aziraphale being overwhelmed by the intensity of their relationship, and his fear of succumbing to it when he believes he shouldn't? It's also interesting that this is the first conversation to take place in Soho, just after watching Aziraphale realise he's caught feelings for a demon, with the red glow of lust serving as the backdrop).

Do I think the kiss in and of itself was sexual? No. I think it was a passionate and devastating last-ditch effort on Crowley's part to convey the way he feels for Aziraphale. Not just that he loves him, but that he loves him in the most human way possible. But I do think that the kiss represents how they can move forward from here, and what they might want to explore with each other once they feel free enough to do so.

In Conclusion

I am sure, deep in my bones (unless we are explicitly told otherwise), that this was both of their first kisses no, I'm not counting the gavotte, and that neither of them have ever thought to do anything else physical with the humans while they have been on Earth. Like I said before, they adore the human race and lifestyle in general, but ultimately view them as a separate species altogether, and they seem mostly happy to keep to themselves and each other, unless otherwise necessary. I just can't see either of them being drawn enough to a human to pursue anything close to sex. If Crowley in particular has had anything to do with sex in the context of temptations, I'm positive he would be inciting lust amongst the humans themselves, not involving himself directly. At least not that directly.

So, like every other human experience they've had on Earth, sex is something new that they could explore together, just the two of them, on their own side. A deeply intimate, tangible declaration of their love and everything they've gone through to earn it. A visceral finger to give both Heaven and Hell. A renewed appreciation for their corporations and for each other's. A enjoyable method for immortal beings to simply pass the time in each other's company. A new and exciting way to Feel Good, and all the variations that come with it.

You might agree with this post, or you might not. Whether this is something that is ever addressed or not, it doesn't matter to me. This is a brilliant love story either way, and I genuinely feel so privileged to witness it.

But I just can't find it in myself to imagine, given everything we know about these two characters, that sex isn't an experience they would both consume with wholehearted enthusiasm, curiosity, and profound, ineffable adoration.

___________________________________

Bonus feature: the very silly notes I made to myself that inspired this post

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cepheustarot · 8 months

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Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: Firstly, people are attracted to your appearance and your image, in general, the way you present yourself in society. Your appearance is quite cute, perhaps you have childish facial features or you are short, you may have a simple character, slightly naive, but you are always optimistic and cheerful. You can also prefer bright colors in clothes, wear "plush" things with cute prints (like jackets, hoodies), use a lot of accessories. People are also attracted to you by the fact that you are easy-going, you are very active and agree to any adventure, you are attracted to everything new and unexplored, so it is very comfortable and cozy to study something new with you, you share interest with people. Your vivid facial expressions, emotionality also attracts people, you have many interesting stories from life, you like to share any details, and at the same time you tell it so fascinatingly and interestingly that others listen to you attentively, strongly immersing themselves in the topic of conversation; time passes very quickly and imperceptibly while talking with you. In addition, you create an aura of comfort, coziness, for people you are associated with home, with something warm and very cozy. You can also be perceived as a native person and you can often be compared to the sun, because you always feel warm and your mood rises next to you, wanting to stay with you as long as possible.

Pile 2: You give off an aura of mystery and this attracts people, because they want to get to know you better, to solve you as a riddle. You can generally be a person who prefers to spend time alone with yourself or you are detached from other people, immersed more in your own thoughts. You can also tell some things about yourself, but not completely, without telling some facts, thereby leaving some mystery about your life, personality. This arouses people's interest, they begin to sort through many options, making up image about you according to puzzles — this is an exciting process for them. Many people also see you as a very confident person, you are one of those who respects yourself and your opinion, your priorities, so you will never let others offend or hurt yourself, many people really appreciate this side of you. You can also have a very attractive, to some extent sexy, charming appearance and many people believe that your appearance is the ideal type of appearance.

Pile 3: Most likely you are an empath, a person who knows how to sympathize, empathize with others and get into their story. People are attracted to this trait in you, because you sincerely show your interest in them, you know how to maintain a dialogue and you can always give those tips that really help people or you always say the words that they want to hear. In general, you can engage the dialogue in such a way that it is interesting for everyone to communicate, including you! People are also attracted to your wisdom, you are very smart, you have a lot of experience, I would generally call you a spiritually developed person who understands the meaning of life, what he wants from life. You can calmly relate to any difficulties, problems in life because you understand that everything is temporary and everything is solvable, sooner or later everything will get better and there will be a white stripe in life. This is your calmness attracts people, forcing them to relax as well and not think too much about problems at least for a while.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

#tarot #tarot cards #pick a card #pick a card reading #pick a pile #pick a pile reading #pac

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meraki-sunset · 3 months

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This is a long letter of gratitude. Embrace my endless words of pure gratefulness.

Dear Autor of the most amazing thing I've ever read.

I was writing this letter from the moment I reached the middle of your Crow Strider AU fanfiction. There is so many things I want to say and I'm so happy that I can say it to you all here without words limit. Forgive me for exuberance, I'm squeezing out all my abilities to express what I feel in this foreign language that's not of us first language.

Let me list all the things I'm grateful for, because I'm autistic and I love listing:

1. Crow Strider

The arc of Davesprite you created is masterpiece of writing. The process of deconstructing his personality, forgiving and letting his part behind as well as embracing his new identity and new body is written so thoughtfully with such a care of details. I love how you made him so different from Dave as well as still kept his Daveness in full glory of Striderness. You made him happy and more emotional available and open, at the same time it felt so natural for him to be that way because of the proper build up you gave him. Thank you so much for creating Crow Strider and letting us read his well written arc.

2. There's a Dave for everyone

THERE'S LITERALLY DAVE FOR EVERYONE. You have no idea what struggles I went through trying to understand what person Dave ended up with in canon, and then being sad of what happened in epilogues. I wanted Dave for Karkat. I wanted Dave for Jade. I wanted them to be happy. And you did it. You made it possible. You made them all happy. I love it so much. Thank you so much for making them happy. You even gave Teresi one Dave for her. I can't believe it. It's so beautiful it's unreal.

3. More Davepeta

This part is simple, I simply love Davepeta and you gave me a lot of good Davepeta content. Thank you for that.

4. You made me like characters I didn't like

I wasn't big fan of Tavros. I got tired of Vrisca by the end of Homestuck. I didn't really see Hal as an interesting character. I honestly hated Gamzee. And Jasprosesprite squared was so annoying for me

Well, not anymore! You somehow managed to write these characters more compelling for me than Hussie did. Now I love Tavros and Hal, I mean, cat Hal? Is there anything more cute and cool at the same time?

And NGL I genuinely wanted Gamzee to die and I can't believe that now I'm not, because I just read a very good redemption arc of this clown. I also love the way you dealt with Vrisca. Heck I love all characters written by you!

5. God tier Karkat

I've dreamt of seeing a good piece of god tier Karkat. I was so curious how does it even work to be Knight of Blood, we didn't see any version of Blood god tier in canon. I'm big fan of your version, it fits the character and the aspect so well, and the execution of his arc as he is chosen to open the door... Honestly? I prefer that over canon, though it wouldnt make as much sense as in your fanfiction. It just feels like you took a much better care of Karkat than official ending of Homestuck. Don't get me wrong, I love Homestuck an it's ending, your fanfiction wouldn't exist without it. I honestly think that Hussie didn't really have as much time and space to give his characters as extended arcs as you gave them without losing the dynamic of his story. But you could. And you did. Thank you so much.

6. So many people got better, more extended arcs

Like above. You made Jas much better. You gave Nanna much better, more compelling arc than she had in canon. You made Hal and Tavros much more relatable and gave them very well character development plot, even if short. You took your time to write very needed and wanted dialogues between characters than didn't have their time to interact in canon. Like Jake and Dirk (ESPECIALLY THEM OMG). Like Erisol and Feferi. Like Jas and Rose. And I didn't even know that I needed the last one. Thank you so much.

7. You made ships that I didn't know where even possible and I like them????

Seriously, Tavros and Jane?? Erisol and Arquius??? Josh and Dirk??? I love how your brain works

8. You absolutely nailed the delicate topic of transgender

I used to not be a big fan of June, because there were no realistic signs of John having any kind of thoughts or doubts about his gender in canon. You made a very much needed and really great thoughtfully written arc from June and Josh, even caring about the topic of transition and executing it really great. Thank you so much for yet again being so good at writing arcs.

9. Eridan and Sollux

I love them both and their weird toxic rivalty, and I absolutely love that you gave them some attention and let Eridan grow and try to redeem himself while also helping Sollux with hii2 p2iioniic problem2. I download almost every single frame of it.

10. YOUR ARTSTYLE

You're artstyle. I don't know where to begin with that. It's so amazing. Expressive, dynamic, cute, beautiful, colorful. I love every line of your comics. Your style is the way I always wanted to draw. It's just perfect. And also perfect for Homestuck fanfiction. It's just so similar, yet gives it a bit of softness as well as the kind of expressiveness I love, that makes every single shot more appealing. Warm scene are so warm, sad scene are so sad, dynamic scenes are so epic, it's like so delicious. Yes, I just ran out of words. Let me grab a dictionary...

Your style is outstanding. It gives me this feeling of familiarity, it's similar of Homestuck style, yet so different, its fresh and new while also feels like home.

I wish you have a printed version of your fanfiction (but I probably can't afford it sadly). There is something so soothing in this simple colors, it's not too loud, not too many colors, yet so many and smooth colorful lines. I will learn to draw like you, I'm sorry for adapting your style, but I really want to draw like that and you even posted some tutorials how to draw like you.

Thank you so so much that you put so much time and effort into making this wonderful comic and then share with all of us completely for free. You drew so many expressive pages, sometimes even 10 pages per static dialogue, which means you officially outbested the master of overdoing Andrew Hussie himself, that did maximum of 3 pages per 1 static dialogue scene. I noticed you slowed down a bit at the end and drew much more simplified panels as well as you started using same panels many times. Good. It's okay to go the easier way. No one wants you to overwork yourself and burnout. No one wants you to have trauma with drawing and not wanting to draw comic ever again. It's extremely generous of you that you posted for absolutely free such a wonderful and huge piece of art. I'm endlessly grateful.

11. The plot

I love how you started from one simple idea of giving Crow more arc, and then gradually extended it into a whole huge fixfiction. It went so smoothly it looked like really one different decision of one person can change the whole timeline. It went so naturally, it felt so realistic as if I read something that Andrew Hussie wrote as a coexisting canon.

I have to admit, the whole idea of not doomed and not canon timeline is pretty ridiculous, and I love every bit of it. Paradoxally, it sounds so much like something that could actually exist in Homestuck canon. I love it

A few little things I didn't like that much

I wouldnt be myself if I didn't comment on some stuff that wasn't perfect. I'll be bery brief with that, because these things didn't really bothered me that much, I just want to share a little bit of criticism I have.

I hope it won't sound rude when I say that I didn't really felt like you understand the character of Nepeta very well? She didn't felt that like Nepeta in your fanfiction, at least for me. I felt like some stuff were explained a bit too many times. I know that characters needed that, yet we as viewers already know some stuff and didn't need to read it again. Also, I really missed the type styles of characters. I know how hard it is to keep it through entire fanfiction, especially writing some of the characters with quite complicated type style. I just missed it a bit. On the other hand it made a few characters much more comprehensive.

I hope I didn't hurt you with this few words of critics. Now I want to share a few of my favorite pages, I hope you don't mind if I end this letter with fangirling over your drawings. I actually wanted to do a lot of comments during reading your fanfiction, but the website didn't let comments. Sadly. That's why I'm writing here. And now is time I will do what I wanted to do back then:

This scene, my fav scene in Homestuck, got so extended in your fanfiction, I felt so gifted and it wasn't even my birthday

I cried.

This. Made me laugh so hard. And it's even funnier without context.

I just reached photos limit. Sadly. I'm so grateful for your comic. I love it so much. Thank you again for making it. You're a wonderful person

Hey there! Thank you so much for the letter, and for taking your time translating it to English for me to understand. Since it’s in a list format, I guess I’ll answer as list as well! So:

Crow strider

It was challenging writing Crow because I needed to basically write Dave but with a twist in his personality due to living with the Harley-Egberts and their grandma, in a very cozy and caring environment.

Honestly I don’t think I managed to portray enough Daveness, his personality is very particular and difficult for me to replicate, but I did the best I could and my friend and editor will help me reach the right amount of striderness in the epilogue

2. A Dave for everyone

Indeed, there’s Dave for everyone. The homestuck epilogues made me realize how lonely Jade ended up, and I always loved Davesprite and jade, but with one being human and the other one a Sprite the relationship was bound to fail, and even tho I wasn’t fond of JadexDavepeta, still i would’ve prefered it to jade being all alone and Davepeta dying fighting Lord English. So now, not only Jade has Crow, and they’re happy, but the Karezi – davekat – daverezi mess all got fused into one, because I love them and their trip was a Little different from in canon. And also Davepeta is around, I don’t think they’ll end up with anyone, but they’ll vibe on EarthC.

3. More Davepeta

They’re alive, and I like showing the craziness that comes from them knowing all timelines but being above them and detached from them.

4. The characters you didn’t use like

I like exploding underused characters. Because with them, you’ve only seen the Surface, but at the same time you have info about them that can be used to make them more profound. If Tavros got revived, why isn’t he mad at Vriska? What was he doing those 3 years in the bubbles? If Jasprose is a seer and has knowledge of all timelines due to being ultimate self, doesn’t that make her the ultimate clairvoyant? Doesn’t that mean she’s the key to winning? Does she miss the mother like rose does? If there’a already an Arquius, why make another? Why not have just Hal as a Sprite and have him figure out what being alive is actually like?. You get the Surface of the characters and knowing what you know about them, you dig deeper, until you find their humanity and write about it.

5. Godtier Karkat

I love Karkat on Homestuck, but I feel like the character lost weight towards the end of the story, he stopped being the leader and while everyone went and fought someone important like the Condesce, the jacks, the dogjack, or Lord English, he was just somewhere else doing whatever. I wanted to give him his hero moment that closes his development.

As for the door, I feel like in canon john was the right choice to open the door, he’s the hero and the leader, not to mention it’s a human session, it makes total sense and I wouldn’t change it

Every story has things that don’t get to be explored, because that would make them too long and cut the flow, making it unreadable. That why we love fan fictions and AUs so much, they take the pieces and reassemble them into something new, filling the empty spaces.

What makes the events on AUs fun is that they didn’t happen in canon. So if John opened the door in canon, and it was right, then Karkat can open this one, and it can be right on this specific timeline. He gets closure from the door he never got to open, and takes back his role as a leader, even if it’s just for a moment, since the battle is over by now. He’s the leader once again, but this time he understands the weight of it in a way he couldn’t grasp when he was 13, claimed he was in charge and let everyone down. He now understands it’s not just something you ask for, it’s something you earn, he’s now the Knight of blood, god of bonds, he took down the Condesce in the name of his species, and will open the door for his peers to enter the new universe they created together where they’ll create a free society, he became what the signless predicted, his rightful successor. His arc is completed.

6. Extended arcs

Jas was planned since the beginning to close crow’s arc about his rose and his regrets about leaving her behind. It’s only when he’s made peace with losing her, has left his old self behind and is ready to face the battle and his future, that he gets his reward. He gets her back, in the strangest way

With Nanna, i just though nobody ever focused that there was an actual adult around during the whole adventure, Nanna would’ve spent a lot of time around john and jade, them being each others remaining family. So I tried to give her the role of a guardian, breaking a Little with this “orphaned children on their own” that all characters have.

Honestly I tried to make it as interesting as I could, sometimes I would take characters that didn’t have any screen time and think, what can they do? What’s in their mind at this moment that they could tackle in conversation? And with whom? Who else needs screen time?. And that’s how you get, Jake and Tavros bonding, Nepeta, Fefeta, Davepeta and Feferi ship-chat, Arquius telling Terezi and Karkat about Erisol, Hal comforting Eridan, ect.

It’s actually a really cool writing exercise I do sometimes. I grab two characters that have nothing in common, and write a conversation between them. What’s the common ground? Are their stories alike in some way? Do they have a common hobby or worry? It’s really cool because you find stuff about the characters you never paid attention to before

7. Unlikely ships

Tavros and Jane came from me wanting Tavros to be more assertive. In canon Vriska instructed him to not interact with the Alpha kids during those 6 months, but since this Tavros doesn’t listen to her because he took self-esteem lessons from Rufioh, I felt like he probably spent that time actually being a guide to Jane and then becoming Friends while solving puzzles, Jane being a fan of mysteries and Tavros probably missing his flarp days. Also theres a funny thing about Tavros and Jane, and it’s Tavros is supposed to represent Peter pan, while Vriska is supposed to represent both Tinkerbell (she dressed up like a fairy for him and later became an actual fairy) being attracted to him but being short fused when rejected, and also represent Captain Hook, Peter pan’s enemy (with her flarp persona and her ancestor being a pirate), but she’s not Wendy in any way, and I feel like Jane is, she’s the homeschooled girl, with blue eyes who looked through her window waiting to be free because her father wouldn’t let her out (also Wendy’s brother was named john who used big glasses). She’s a normal girl coming in contact with this fairy boy from a world of only children. Idk, makes sense to me. (besides, Wendy darling’s daughter, who Peter pan later takes on adventures too was named Jane, who also has blue eyes)

Erisol and Arquius was a crack ship that suddenly made sense, because it’s one-sided, and I feel like arquius is a caring person, he just has a difficult time socializing like a normal person. He’s just really happy to be a sprite and is pissed by Erisol’s insistence on wanting to explode.

Also, Arquius promising Fefeta that he wouldn’t break Erisol’s neck unless he had a good reason ( he kinda wanted to) and eventually having to break his neck for the good reason of god tiering him (he now doesn't want to and feels bad about it) was something I planned for months

Josh and dirk, i think it’s funny. Dirk wouldn’t have dated jade because she’s a girl, but Josh is a boy so it’s good, AND, he’s like a more direct, version of Jake who takes no bullshit.

8. The topic of transgender

Originally the second spaceship post retcon was supposed to arrive empty, or with only Davesprite, but I saw an opportunity to solve a division in the audience. Some people were interested in John remaining as he was, while others wanted to see June. Since John never showed any doubts about his gender in canon, it wasn’t in my original plans for June to make an appearance during CSAU, because the comic only covered the same period of time as canon. But when it came time to write the retcon I realized I had an opportunity to make them both coexist, making a shift in the timeline, but said shift being there both since the beginning and for the purpose of surviving the recon. Making June and Josh a reality since the beginning, so the timeline would survive the consequences of the two Egberts crossing paths post retcon.

It’s nice to hear you liked it, I know not everyone did. I tried to be respectful but at the same time be true to the nonsensical nature of canon Homestuck that makes timelines twist and change to the story’s convenience, making the events real but chaotic. Also since i knew John’s dad wasn’t coming back and Jane’s dad wouldn’t make it, June would be the last remaining conection to John’s old home and so John would be June's, relying on eachother for comfort when it comes to the loss of their father and home.

9. Eridan and Sollux

I want to cover Eridan’s redemption in the epilogue, since all we know is he grew as a person during his time in the bubbles, leading to his change of heart interacting with Sollux and Kanaya

10. Art style

Thank you! I like to give the characters a full range of emotions and for the surroundings to accompany that

No need to be sorry for learning through my art, in the end my style, like everyone else’s, is bits and pieces from other artists we’ve seen, admired and/or learned from. Just make sure to add your personal touch to make your artstyle trully yours

It’s true that by the end I reused more static panels for dialogue, both because there was a lot for the characters to say, not that much action left, and my battery was running low haha

11. The plot

I tried my best for the story to be a big butterfly effect steaming from crow’s decision to ascend, working towards the most possible outcomes like Crow getting grimdarked by the Condesce too, the sprites surviving because of Nanna and so on

I wanted this timeline to coexist with canon because I don’t like the idea of overwriting it, canon happened and was important, CSAU just happened to be taking place close by

12. Things you didn’t like

I do in fact not understand the character of Nepeta very well, I reread Homestuck in order to get the original troll's personality better, but Nepeta is a character I don’t get. On top of that, she doesn’t appear much in CSAU so didn’t have much time to develop her.

I do struggle with over explaining, I think is stems from not wanting the reader to be confused (it has happened on discord that people come and ask me what was going on in the story when i thought I had written it in a way people could understand with no problems), which leads to me explaining everything too bluntly sometimes, so the characters sometimes ramble TOO much, and I wish I could go back and reduce the dialogs, but that would involve going back to the page’s codes to delete certain pages and replace others, and also changing the programming for the page’s backgrounds, not to mention my computer crashes when I try to modify pages too far back, since they’re 4000 of them. It’s one of those things I can only learn from and try to do better in the next project

The character’s typing was a core part of Homestuck because it was mostly portrayed as blocks of texts and the quirks made it easy to know who was talking even with people having the same typing color. The reason I didn’t use them it’s simply because I could barely write good enough in English, let alone add quirks. My friend offered me to add the quirks at some point when we were revising the dialogs, but I declined because some people found it easier to read without them and I didn’t want to add another step to the render of the pages.

13. Favorite pages

I also cried with that Gamzee panel, I planned it for months and i waited a long time to draw those last panels, I’m glad they made people laugh

Haha, also yeah, the Strider reunion got really extended with so many extra striders. Davepeta, Crow and Hal making the reunion complete

Thank you for this message! i'll do my best to write a good epilogue (which by now is actually a secuel) and i hope you have a great day🌻🌻🌻

#csau extra #homestuck #homestuck au #meraki

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piratecaptainscaptainpirates · 9 months

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Need more positivity on my dash, so I wanna talk a bit more about how fucking amazing OFMD's writing for its characters of color is!

Now, I'm a professional historian (phd student 😔🤘🏾) and I read and watch a lot of historical fiction because I love it, right? And I have literally never seen a piece of historical fiction that is so respectful to its characters of color.

Usually, in works of historical fiction that actually bother to include characters of color, they fall into two big camps. The most common one is trauma porn, where poc only exist so White characters can save them, feel sorry about them, or so White audiences can pat themselves on the back for feeling sorry about them. Also popular are works that include characters of color but don't bother thinking about how race impacts their experiences in historical settings (shows like Bridgerton come to mind; they want to include poc but handwave racism). And in general I prefer the latter but it still takes me out of the story.

But OFMD hits just this amazing balance. There are many characters of color, and the racism of the world they live in impacts their experiences and perspectives in realistic ways. Ed remembering how his mom told him that fine things weren't meant for people like him has me by the fucking throat, it's so tied up in race and class and it's the root of so many of Ed's self-image issues into adulthood. But the real kicker for me - poc always get the last laugh in OFMD. Yes, the racism in this show is often very realistic, but this isn't a realistic show at its core and it is so, so comforting to know a character who starts acting like a racist dickhead is a dead man walking.

It's so carefully written, and for me it's such a huge comfort: race in OFMD is never hand-waved away, and it's thought-provoking and realistic and relatable. But the show always feels so safe because we know racism in the show is never excused. They tell us in the pilot that if you start being a racist asshole, someone's gonna stab you. Even Stede, our main character - when he makes a racist assumption in the second episode of the show, the narrative encourages us to call him out for it and has a character directly call him a fuckin' racist! He's held accountable and he fucking grows, because unlearning racist biases is important and he doesn't get a pass because he's the main character!

It's not just that OFMD has a lot of characters of color. It's not just that one of our main romantic leads is an indigenous Jewish man. It's not just that characters of color are consistently depicted as smart, clean, competent, and respected. It's that the show respects them enough to think about how racism realistically shapes the world of OFMD, while at the same time providing viewers with a wonderful fantasy of racists getting what they deserve. In the genre of historical fiction, it stands out because it completely avoids the trauma porn and hand-wavey angles, and I can't articulate strongly enough how much I appreciate that.

#ofmd #our flag means death

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natalyarose · 5 months

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𝓒𝓱𝓪𝓴𝓻𝓪𝓼 & 𝓑𝓸𝓭𝔂 𝓛𝓪𝓷𝓰𝓾𝓪𝓰𝓮

Many moons 🌝 ago, I used to offer online readings. Chart readings, tarot readings, and drawings lol- but my favourite type of readings to do, were intuitive chakra readings. I loved doing these the most, because it felt like the insight I could offer was a very direct, hands on way of helping others. Astrological readings can be incredibly helpful and even life/perception altering, but chakra readings are just so- personal, hands on. I love the calm and simplicity of: 'okay, here's the problem energetically and here's how to fix it.' No need to get too philosophical or thoughts-y about it, your body knows what's up too. Which brings me to what I set out to write about!

Aside from intuition, one of the glaringly clear ways I've gone about reading people's chakras and identifying blockages, is through body language and tension. Every human being has a unique story, a delicious buffet of personal experiences spanning throughout lifetimes that informs the way they conduct themselves. In my eyes, there's no one rulebook on how energy (chakras in particular) behave, but I can talk about things I've noticed.

There's a lot talked about in the way of Chakras & the energetic body directly correlating to forms of illness, but not as much conversation relating to everyday noticeable ways in which people carry themselves. I love to bridge Spiritual information directly into the physical realm. Connecting esoterica with scientifically known truths in our world, and directly understanding Chakras through body language seen and interpreted with the naked eye feels so natural to me.

So generally, when a chakra is blocked, we're going to see body language and tensions conveying that: clear signs of muscle tension in that area, a look of being closed off or uncomfortable on that part of their body, sometimes body language and conversational hand gestures that seem as if they are trying to distract someone from seeing that area of their body. As humans, we really prefer not to draw attention to our vulnerabilities & wounds. Some people might portray a sense of 'shrinking into themself' in that area. Posture issues. Then of course we're going to see health issues relating to those areas. We're going to see external life experiences and events manifested by that blockage- but that's another story.

I'm going to go through each of the primary 7 chakras and detail physically observable body language signs of blockage:

DISCLAIMER: some of these things alone of course do not immediately point to a chakra blockage, use discernment. Also, you don't need to relate to these things to still have a significant blockage. These are just observations.

Root Chakra ~ Muladhara

This is a difficult chakra for me to keep balanced in my own energetic body, so I'm very familiar with the signs here.

restless legs- someone who's very fidgety, seems a little flighty in their movements, can't seem to sit still or get comfortable.

leaning against walls and feeling a need to sit down a lot - when the Root Chakra is struggling, it can feel like an uphill battle just holding your own physical weight as the Root is meant to be the energetic pillar.

when sitting in chairs, rarely having both feet on the ground- someone with a blocked Root Chakra is quite literally going to struggle to keep their feet still and calm on the physical ground. They're going to be swinging their legs around, sitting on one foot, etc. just things that signify they're not feeling totally grounded and connected to the Earth.

Sacral Chakra ~ Svadhisthana

You know how you get those dudes, usually teenage/early 20s boys who walk around with their pelvic area kinda jutted out? Think of the rappers back in the day who would wear the super baggy pants lol. It sounds odd to explain, but like their core area is sunken in and there is an emphasis on the hip area. That's a sign of an overactive Sacral Chakra to me- or more accurately, an underactive Solar Plexus Chakra & the Sacral energetically compensating (ie. a lack of purpose, will, drive and instead indulging in sex, intimacy, and other pleasures in an addictive manner). A blockage in the Sacral Chakra is going to look like the opposite of this.

withdrawn pelvic area posture-wise. Sometimes the Solar Plexus might overcompensate, so the posture will be strong and even overbearing in the core area, giving a very controlled look visually.

physically standing very seperate distance-wise from others even in intimate conversation.

very rigid, controlled movements. Robotic movements. someone who is struggling to get into a calm, flow state emotionally is going to reflect that in the way they conduct themselves.

often the Throat Chakra is also affected when the Sacral is blocked since the disconnection from flow state will often make a person very restricted with what they say and how they express themselves. So often these people will hang their necks low or hold tension in that area.

Solar Plexus Chakra - Manipura

The Solar Plexus Chakra is the seat of our will, known as the 'seat of the soul'. Manipura relates to the words manipulate, manifest. The Solar Plexus is responsible for animating our being, enlivening us with the energy and drive required to fulfil our chosen purpose. In general, as you can imagine, someone with a blocked Solar Plexus is going to look tired, very sad and dejected, like the energy has been sapped out of them. More specifically, we're looking at:

as mentioned earlier, sunken in core area and sometimes an over emphasised hip area in body language-wise as sometimes when a chakra is blocked, the chakra(s) on either side will become more active or at least seem more active since the system is out of balance.

sunken shoulders- our core area is largely responsible for all of our upper body strength, so when the Solar Plexus Chakra is blocked the shoulders can be very sunken and the arms can look very flimsy, sort of like puppet. It kinda makes sense- if we are lacking the strength in Manipura (connected to the words manipulate, manifest) required to effectively manipulate our own energy and direction, we become like a puppet, easily manipulated.

Heart Chakra ~ Anahata

When the Heart Chakra is blocked, we see a person who has become somehow jaded in their perception of love. I always love using the word 'jaded' to describe a blocked Heart Chakra, because a healthy Heart Chakra is a vibrant, vivacious green.

closed off heart-space physically- bunching the shoulders around the chest area. It always gives me this visual of almost like creating an energetic cave.

tense shoulders and upper back

not meeting people halfway in conversation (like leaning closer to hear better, conversational body language mirroring).

not a lot of use of hand gestures in conversation or if there is, the gestures are punchy and unpleasant rather than gently and graceful.

often with a blocked Heart Chakra, I see the Throat chakra overcompensating, so the posture might look like the head/neck area is jutted out. The neck area may look very red like it's hot (too much energy in the one place). Socially we're going to see a person who is fairly over-opinionated, not very willing to listen to others, callous in their opinions.

Throat Chakra - Vishuddha

The Throat Chakra is the energetic centre correlating to self expression and communication. When this is blocked we're going to see a person who is having a difficult time communicating their truths, needs & desires. We're often going to see:

neck hung low, sometimes shoulders by extension too

hearing issues and frequent miscommunications in conversation

TMJ (jaw tension). Teeth grinding can also be a sign. Just any signs of lack of balance in the whole neck/mouth/jaw area.

classic social anxiety signs such as nervousness maintaining eye contact.

stuttering, forgetting what you were saying in the middle of saying it.

Third Eye Chakra - Ajna

This one gets a little more elusive because of where the Third Eye Chakra is situated, but like with others; often I can sense a blockage when there is a sense of overactivity in surrounding chakras. We'll see issues with the physical eyes sometimes. The third eye is all about perception, perceiving the 'space in-between'. A person who is open to all possibilities and free from bias is naturally going to be fed a consistent stream of intuitive information. Often blockages in the Third Eye actually have more to do with blockages in lower Chakras... eg. someone with a blocked Root may perceive the world as a scary place and lack trust, so they may misread situations, be impatient and skittish and close themselves off to seeing possibilities beyond their fears. You can have a very open Third Eye but tainted perception from other Chakra blockages. Some physical signs of disturbance in this area:

blurry vision, tunnel vision

holding a lot of tension in the brow area, constant furrowing the brow- this however can also be a sign that the Third Eye is overactive (compensating).

Similarly to the Heart Chakra, the energy in the Throat Chakra can sometimes compensate for a blockage in the Third Eye so again we may see someone who physically, posture-wise, etc. puts a lot of emphasis on their Throat area.

Alternatively, the Crown Chakra can overcompensate and we can see someone who bypasses seeing/perceiving their own raw authentic experiences by laying it all down to a higher power.

Crown Chakra - Sahasrara

The Crown Chakra represents our overall connection to the divine on Earth, higher realms, spirit, etc. While the Third Eye is our ability to perceive these things as well as Earthly things, the Crown is our overall connection to the Universe, to God. The Crown Chakra is deemed to sit at the Crown of the head, some say it kinda hovers above the head (I personally feel it to be affecting the entire area). So here are some clues in body language pertaining to a potential blockage:

hanging the literal crown of one's head down low is the main physical body language/postural symptom I can think of right now - I'll edit to add more if I think of it, but like the Third Eye Chakra, the Crown Chakra is more 'elusive' and mental/spiritual in nature.

Thankyou for reading, and I hope this has been interesting or even helpful to someone out there! <3 Energy work & other spiritual matters don't have to be super 'up in the air' and like I said, I love grounding the knowledge. Heaven and Earth aren't as seperate as we think!

#chakras #energy #spirituality #nakshatras #astrology #vedic astrology #chakra healing

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venomous-qwille · 1 year

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Ghost in the Machine

This is the master post for Ghost in the Machine links, character refs and FAQs.

I will try my best to keep this post as up to date as possible.

What is Ghost in The Machine?

GITM is a DCA AU and a fic set in the retrofuture (2055ish) long after Fazco has shut down. An eccentric collector has been acquiring versions of the Daycare Attendant animatronic from closed locations around the world. The story involves a reader character who has been brought into repair the original post-Ruin DCA from the games, and hijinks ensue. There are also ghosts.

Where can I read the fic?

GITM is currently being posted on Ao3, and is updated every three weeks on Saturdays. The fic is being beta'd by the tremendously talented @bubbiethesaur. You can read GITM here!

There is also a podfic, which you can find here:

Updates to the podfic will be sporadic, so please be patient <3

Where can I see the art?

On this blog I use the #gitm au and #ghost in the machine au tags for GITM related content. If you are looking for art of a specific character, they also have their own tags: #misuta moon #nova #soleil #clip.exe #sunspot mk1 #fool eclipse #ruin eclipse #sombra #sunflower #mr sandman

FAQ~

Why haven't you answered my GITM ask?

One of three reasons: 1) your ask was too spoilery* 2) I'm waiting to answer it with art 3) ADHD

*spoilery includes but is not limited to: any questions about dual-AI or XYZ character's sun/moon variant; questions about character backstories and lore; questions about characters that have not featured in the fic yet (e.g Nova, Sanii, Harvest, Sunflower, Sandman etc); asks speculating about potential future scenarios (don't get me wrong, I love these asks, but I can't answer them!)

Where are all the Moons?

Read and find out. Seriously. There are at least 5 Moons who are core to the plot but I'm not going to talk about them, no matter how nicely you ask!

Does XYZ character have a Sun/Moon counterpart?

Some of them do, some of them don't. The dual-AI stuff is majorly plot related. If I'm not talking about someone's Sun/Moon counterpart, rest assured you will find out eventually. I won't be spoiling any of it on tumblr though :)

Can I create fanart of GITM?

Yes yes yes please do and please tag me when you post it so I can see it/reblog! If you are unsure if something is ok, please ask.

Can I create fanfic of GITM?

Super flattered about this. I have a longform answer to this question which you can read here. But tl;dr yes you can, please tag/credit me, do not spoil/try to write the lore, and please do not write GITM au (e.g mafia, mer, medieval). I have my own plans for this stuff and I would prefer to release the designs/stories in my own time. If you are unsure if something is ok, please ask.

Can I create NSFW GITM content?

Until recently I had blanket perms that allowed NSFW GITM content. I'm updating this to let you guys know I'm no longer comfortable with people making this content. Back when the community was small, I felt differently, but as time has passed a lot has changed and I've found myself becoming increasingly anxious about it. If this boundary changes again in the future, I will update this FAQ.

Do you have character refs I can use?

There is a collection of art 'refs' for each character on the Misutamojis discord. Latest link here.

There are no proper call-out sheets/refs currently, but I have a huge body of art for the characters on this blog which should give you more than enough info for most of them. I will get around to creating proper refs eventually, in which case I will link them here.

Where can I find the playlist?

I update the spotify playlist fairly regularly, if you have any music recs you can send them over in an ask! You can listen to the playlist here!

I've heard there are secret GITM drabbles, where can I find them?

I used to post frequent drabbles from future chapters in the DCA Palooza discord, I have recently deleted the majority of them as people were going back and binging them which hadn't been the intended reading experience. Anywho, this question probably refers more to the spicy drabbles (which people have very kindly made a lot of delicious art for). These are still around! You just need to access the spicy channel and do some digging.

Is there a GITM discord?

Nope! There is a server for GITM emotes and a busy thread in the DCA Palooza, but currently I don't have any plans to make a GITM-centric discord community. If that does happen in the future it's likely I will simply convert the emotes server (Misutamojis).

It finally happened, I converted Misutamojis. You can join the GITM discord here.

Can I smooch the robots?

Yes.

All of them?

All of them.

#master post #ghost in the machine #ghost in the machine au #gitm au #soleil #clip.exe #sanii drop #misuta moon #sunspot mk1 #harvest moon #sunflower and the sandman #fool eclipse #ruin eclipse #nova #gitm yn #sombra #SoundCloud

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jjaysontodd · 3 months

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The only reason people keep saying “Jason fanon copies Helena canon” is because they mad their fav isn’t well known.

Most of Jason fanon traits is based on his robin days. He’s been written as an anti hero and villain and has a lot of characterisation. His writing is inconsistent. So what’s wrong if people write him based on how they view him. It’s called fanon for a reason and expecting people to pick up your fav while you are hating Jason is ludicrous. The morale superiority some people have just because their fav is not well known or a woman is ridiculous.

I used to nod my head to this take because I felt like “hey Jason is a guy and Helena/Mia are women whose stories been stolen” like I wanted to be politically correct and I thought this was right. But fuck this. Why do they get to have those traits only? Is it a crime if someone thinks it’s rationale for Jason’s character to take this trope. Fanon is meant to write wtv fuck u the want that isn’t in canon and half the time they aren’t far- fetched.

Jason has always looked out for women and children during his robin days and even as red hood sometimes. Sure it’s inconsistent but it’s without a doubt people do that simply because they know his character. He is from the crime alley and his mother was a drug addict. People hc him being an English teacher simply because he has shown to be interested in literature. He was from the streets so it isn’t far fetched and even implied in a comic (during Mia’s interaction in arrow) that he might have done child prostitution to get by. It’s fanon people are allowed to explore possibilities. How does him having such experiences invalidate your fav’s experiences? Is it wrong that such a strong and big guy had such experiences? Maybe people write that so they can cope with such experiences since they relate to him more. Are these experiences only for your favs? That’s ridiculous.

I don’t get why people are mad at a fanon characterisation that has its roots in comics. The guy hasn’t been written well at all and people in fanon write their take on him. One you have never read Jason as Robin or redhood. 2 you think you’re justified to hate Jason simply because “poor Helena, Jason takes her place”.

Dc has so many characters and some characters are bound to be similar in some ways.

Helena is already an amazing character so why does hating Jason your way of promoting her? She doesn’t need to be compared tf. Some people just hate on Jason and read zero comics on her. Somehow people have made themselves believe Jason is the reason why Helena isn’t popular. Jason is popular because he’s a bad victim not a model one and people relate to that. A lot of people DO NOT WANT HIM to be Helena. They prefer him as a villain. I’m deadass done w anyone who tries to pretend he can’t have any of these traits. It’s not about the traits, it’s about who and why they have it. So comparing gets you nowhere.

Lastly, let’s be honest Jason fans don’t read any other comics or works besides Jason. So how would they copy a character they don’t know exist?

#jason todd #batman #batfam #dc comics #dc #redhood #robin #batfamily #red hood #helena bertinelli #huntress #I’m fucking done cuz it’s a horrible take #fucking horrible take #anti Jason Todd #Jason Todd anti #pro Jason Todd

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if-whats-new · 1 month

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What's New In IF? Issue 18 (2024)

By Erika, Marjorie, Axelle, and Noi

Now Available!

Itch.io. - Keep Reading below

If you read the zine, consider liking the post: it helps us see how many people sees it! And sharing is caring! <3

~ EDITORIAL ~

Another weekend, another zine!

Unfortunately, the end of summer is approaching. For many of us, it will mean a slow down in the time spent in the IF spaces, playing or creating.

But the IF machine never sleeps! No matter the time or season, there's still something happening!

Whether it is events or releases, we'll continue to do our best to report on it!

On to the zine!!

This week, we “sat down” with Drew Cook, author of the award-winning Repeat the Ending and retro-IF enthusiast at the head of the Gold Machine.

We had a lot of questions for Drew, and learned a lot about IF and meanings in the process!

So don't forget to check out our interview with Drew Cook on Small Talk…

We hope you enjoy this extra long issue!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, AND NOI

~ BE PART OF THE ZINE ~

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? HAS EXPANDED!

Since the release of issue #14, we've enacted some changes with the zine. It is now expanded with interviews of creators from all around the IF world, as well as direct contributions from you, our readers!

THIS ZINE ONLY HAPPENS WITH YOU!

Want to write 1-2 pages about a neat topic, or deep-dive into a game and review it in details? Share personal experiences or get all academic?

WRITE FOR THE COLUMN!

Prefer to be more low-key but still have something to share? Send us a Zine Letter or share a game title for Highlight on…!

WE WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU!

Excited as we are about next week's interview and have questions for our guest? Or want to see a certain author answer questions next? Message us!

SMALL TALK... IS WAITING!

Came across something interesting? Know a release or an update announced? Saw an event happening? Whether it's a game, an article, a podcast… Add any IF-related content to our mini-database!

EVERY LITTLE BIT COUNTS!

~ EVENT SPOTLIGHT : SuNoFes Jam ~

Have yourself a project during the summer…

Hosted every summer since 2015 on itch, the Summer Novel Festival is an unranked narrative game jam with a focus on visual novels and story-based games.

From July 1st to August 31st, participants are welcome to submit a single narrative entry. From a simple demo to completing previously unfinished project, the goal of SuNoFes is to create a game during the summer.

Hosted every summer since 2015 on itch, the Summer Novel Festival is an unranked narrative game jam with a focus on visual novels and story-based games.

As for restrictions, there aren't really any. You do not have to wait for the start of the jam to start working on something, and there aren't any restrictions or themes to abide to. Only depictions of sex and gore are prohibited.

With over two weeks left to go, there is still a bit of time left to whip up a short game and be part of the biggest SunNoFes cohort yet!

~ ENDED ~

Over 30 entries were submitted to the Single Choice Jam! If you are looking for a quick read or despair over (the lack of) choices, check them out!

About a dozen bitsy entries can be found at the last bitsy Jam #82. It's intentionally bad... or is it?

~ ONGOING (VOTING) ~

You can now check out the entries submitted to the IntroComp and vote for your favorite demo!

~ ONGOING (SUBMITTING) ~

Just this weekend is left to submit for the Velox Fabula. If you are looking for a challenge, join this ranked VN jam, with a theme.

If you still want thrills but in a chiller way, the Tales to Thrill Jam also just started. Take your pick from the three themes and try your best at emulating the creepy campfire vibes!

For those who created an intent to participate at the IFComp, you have until the end of the month to submit a full game… or wait for next year! (Or you can look our for beta-openings, create an account to vote when the games are released, or offer prizes!) @ifcomp

For the francophones, the French IF community is organizing a summer-long camp to create parsers. Join the Confiture de Parser if you're interested!

Do you have WIPs on indefinite hiatus? Projects you've started forced to be set aside? Bring Out Your Ghost is a jam to show off your ghosts (and maybe even spruce them up and finish them)! @neointeractives

On the CoG Forum, Halloween is already there! Until Oct 31st, submit to the Halloween Jam - it has funky themes!

Looking for motivation to try your hands at Visual Novels? The Phantasia Jam just started, and will run until Halloween! Three months to create a fantasy VN, with the theme of “Hidden Magic”.

Do you understand or write Ukrainian? Until the end of the year, the Ukrainian IF Festival is happening on itch.io!

~ OTHER ~

Over on the IntFiction Forum, the Review-a-thon is continuing its initiative to get more reviews for games. Check out this post by Tabitha if you want to participate! It ends on the 30th. This is also a sponsored event, aiming to raise funds for one of the Forum members.

The Interactive Fiction Showcase is still running! If you have completed an IF piece this year, consider submitting it! It is happening only on itch!

~ SMALL TALK… ~

WITH DREW COOK (@golmac)

Joining us today is award-winning author, retro IF enthusiast: Drew Cook ~ Author of Repeat the Ending and creator of Gold Machine

This interview contains links that were not included due to the Tumblr links limits. Please download the itch.io version!

⟶ Hi Drew! Thank you for joining us this week!

Thanks for having me! I love the positive vibe of What’s New in IF and was glad to hear from you.

⟶ Please tell us a bit more about yourself and how you got into IF.

I first got into interactive fiction as an 80s kid, and my most treasured possession was a Commodore 64 microcomputer. The “C64” was one of the more popular and affordable home computers in America at the time. Text adventure games (today we say “parser”) were very popular. I was a nerdy, lonely child who spent a lot of time playing games like that. Adventure games were a huge part of my childhood and were a good way for me to get lost for a few hours. I was also into sci-fi, fantasy, and collecting tabletop RPG rulebooks.

My childhood was not great, and imagination was what sustained me. Adventure games helped to sustain me.

There was a whole, non-IF life after that. I went to college and got a grown-up job. Unfortunately, I had a very serious and escalatory diagnosis of Bipolar I with psychotic features. There were some other problems as well. That complex of issues changed the course of my life drastically. When it became clear that I couldn't continue working in my career, I tried to find something else to do. I earned an MFA (Master of Fine Arts) degree in creative writing. I enjoyed that work, but I could not complete further study because teaching was too difficult for me. I had hoped to find a new career after becoming disabled, but I hit a wall. I was devastated at the time.

My partner and I agreed that I had to find something challenging and fulfilling to do, and I tried a few things without any luck. Out of nowhere, I thought: “What if I wrote some literary-style criticism of those old 80s games?” That turned out to be the answer. I've been writing about games and making games ever since! I feel very lucky to have found my way into this scene. I have two blogs, a podcast, and three works in progress all churning, so I stay busy with IF content.

⟶ And this is how Gold Machine started, then? Could you tell us about this project?

I had the initial idea of writing literary criticism for games by a company called Infocom in 2020, but it wasn't fully baked. Initially, I started a forum thread where I planned to narrate a playthrough of the entire company's catalogue, but that didn't really take off. It was the wrong venue, and I didn't have my voice yet. I tried again with a blogging site, but I hated the way everything looked and engagement was very poor. Nobody was reading any of it!

This was all during COVID, late 2020 into mid 2021. Somewhere in there, my mother died, and my father was in another state, taking things very poorly. I was driving a lot, missing my own little family, and just trying to do whatever it is that good sons do. It's a recurring thing in my story: interaction fiction was a part of getting through that. I was playing old games in hotel rooms and making notes, and the time went by. Things settled down.

I thought: I should spend a little money on this, get the look I want. I took a few months to plan things out. I put myself in the frame: there are several posts about my childhood relationship with classic adventure games. While those pieces aren't confessional, I am honest about my memories of childhood. I've realized that I can't see those games outside of those memories. I can't transcend them or get beyond them. Anytime I look at something, I'm there. What would my experience of art be without me? I can't imagine it.

That was a new and growing focus for what became Gold Machine. I wanted to talk about these games as art, yes, but also as experiences that real people have. That I have. Perspective was the piece missing from earlier efforts, and I've put it this way in the past: authors have intent, while audiences find meaning. The blog is about me finding meaning in interactive fiction. The mix has been good; the blog has done pretty well for a niche subject like 1980s parser games.

My goal with Gold Machine is to write about every single Infocom game. My general approach is to make three posts: a critical introduction, a plot analysis, and a game-specific craft topic. Most games have more posts, though. I'm proud of the work there, and I especially enjoy bringing in philosophical concepts or talking about mental illness.

I'm halfway through the catalog, though writing games has been making a lot of demands for my time. Things were moving more quickly before I started learning Inform 7! I always have more than one Inform 7 thing going.

⟶ So you are halfway through that catalogue now. How does it feel being in the middle point of your journey?

It feels really good! I've gotten past halfway, now that I think of it. Trinity is 21 out of 36, I believe. I'm proud of the work. Several pieces that I've written have been mentioned at Critical Distance, and I've

always loved their weekly roundup posts. Very few essays about classic interactive fiction get mentioned in those spaces, so those acknowledgements made me feel like I'd really accomplished something as a critic. I wasn't sure, early on, if Gold Machine would find an audience, but it seems to have caught on with people. Every once in a while, I'll see somebody mention something I've written and it feels great. I never take that for granted.

I'm most proud of my series on A Mind Forever Voyaging. It is more special to me than it might be to other notable critics, so I wanted to lift it up and explore that: why was it so special? I took my time getting there, and I think it was worth it. I hope it was.

Other things along the way have been very satisfying to write about. To name a few examples: gender in The Witness, Mental Illness in Deadline, modular narrative design in parser IF generally, and the failed database system Cornerstone (“Adults Are Not to Be Trusted”). It's been a great ride!

I have to admit, though, that things have slowed down. Trinity, along with Spellbreaker, Plundered Hearts, and A Mind Forever Voyaging, is probably one of the biggest Infocom games in terms of critical reception. To many players, it is Infocom's best work, their peak. I'm midway through it right now, and I feel I need to be thorough and careful in a way that is unique when compared with Infocom's other games. Its author, Brian Moriarty, writes thoughtful and textured prose, so that deserves a more deliberate pace. Because of this, I've often found myself tempted by other activities with Top Expert and game development. I will finish, though. I've played all of the other games recently, so once I get through this slow patch I should be able to make progress.

By the time this is over, I may have written more about Infocom than anyone else. If not, I think I'll be a close second. I'd be proud of that, as I think those works deserve that kind of treatment.

With that said, it is and has been a big project and a long road. I'd love to write about other games someday, as I have a lot of post-Infocom interests! I wonder what Gold Machine will do next? I haven't decided.

⟶ What has been your favorite game to play so far for Gold Machine?

My favorite game to play for GM was A Mind Forever Voyaging [review], and I hope I raised awareness about its important place in the history of narrative games. I got mentioned at Critical Distance for “The Year In Video Game Blogging” for this specific one, and I am very proud of it.

⟶ Out of the Infocom games left, which game are you most looking forward to?

As for what lies ahead, my answer is easy to come by: Amy Briggs's Plundered Hearts, which I feel was overlooked for many years. That tide has shifted, and it is listed on the most recent “Top 50 of All Time” list! It's an unusually narrative-focused Infocom game, and it feels ahead of its time for that reason. I'm very excited about it.

⟶ Next to Gold Machine, you also have the Gold Microphone podcast, which came back this year with Trinity. What was your goal with the podcast, running along your blog and also discussing the Infocom-era games?

People had been asking for more podcast episodes. By some measurements, the podcast was probably more successful than the blog. It had fallen off because a) my partner/collaborator Callie got busy with her doctoral dissertation and b) she started doing art for my game projects! We are still working together a lot, but we're doing something else now. Still, as I've said, I don't take it for granted when people talk about my work. It's very motivating, in fact. I wondered: how can I keep this going? If there was interest, I wanted to do it.

People like getting information in different ways, because we experience life differently. I just said this over at Top Expert, I think! Some listeners told me they enjoyed the less formal nature of the podcast. I like it too. I can unwind a bit and talk about Graham Nelson. Or I can say, “I want to think about challenges differently” and try to map that out. Gold Machine is a little too rigid for that kind of conversation. I like being able to loosen up a little, and some listeners seem to prefer me that way, too.

Thinking about Trinity specifically, the podcast is a way to bring in more outside content and zoom out the camera a bit. What about this or that kind of critical writing? What about modern adventure games? What do I consider “good” and “bad” types of friction? I like it because it enables different kinds of analysis and observation. I'm really looking forward to talking about VTM: Swansong. That's something Gold Machine can't do right now, but it's interesting, right? My basic idea is that some design challenges are constant: there are similar problems confronted by Trinity and VTM, two games released nearly forty years apart. I like being able to show that, despite changes in tech and presentation, those old games engage with fundamental elements of narrative game design.

⟶ If you could have any guest on Gold Microphone, who would you like to talk to for an episode?

Wow! That's very hard to answer. I want to pick someone actively making content right now. Possibly Brian Rushton (mathbrush)? Brian is the Spring Thing organizer, a successful author, knows a ton of IF history, and a prolific reviewer. I interviewed him once about a single game, but he has a lot more to say, I'm sure. My other answer might be Mike Russo because he knows a ton of not-IF stuff that informs his reviews, so they're very textually rich and insightful. Other thoughts: Manonamora, Kastel. There are so many smart people doing IF these days, so this is not an exhaustive list!

⟶ Moving on to Top Expert, your other side project focusing more on making IF rather than playing IF, started about 2 years after your first Gold Machine post. What prompted the creation of this website?

I've talked about the difficulties of being a beginner. We all come to IF with different skill sets and capabilities. I was not a programmer when I began Repeat the Ending. Sometimes, when asking for help, I felt a little... incapable. Like, there are beginners and then there are beginners. Sometimes I might have been a little embarrassed, as in “Why am I not getting this?” After I got a ‘Best in Show’ ribbon at Spring Thing, I wanted to tell people new to Inform 7 that you don't have to be a brilliant programmer to do well. Sort of, “If I can make stuff, you can too”.

My first step was making a new tag on Tumblr and just making posts with code tips and tutorials. People responded well to these, and I was glad! That's when I started using the status messages “let's make IF” and “IF is for everyone”. I really believe that; it isn't just marketing. I started Top Expert maybe five months later, as a place to move that forward. My intent was to write mostly about making IF. The initial goal was to live-blog making a game for Spring Thing, but life got in the way. I am hoping to get after that again, maybe after if/when I wrap up my IF Comp entry.

In the meantime, I've done a soft reboot there to get new readers up to speed with the basics. I've also written my first essay about the writing, less technical side of my process. People really seemed to enjoy that, so I plan to do more in the future.

“Top Expert” is meant to be ironic, which.. maybe I never explain? I don't see myself as an expert, and my whole message there is that you don't have to be an expert to be a part of this scene. It's for everyone.

⟶ Let's Make IF is your main series in the Top Expert blog. Before starting it, did you have a plan on what you would cover? Or you just shared what you thought was interesting?

The earliest plan was very general, but there was a specific goal and format: write a small game based on a story for young people about a boy and a cat having an adventure. I'd make posts as I made progress. I had some topics that I wanted to learn about, so I thought I'd write as I learned. I paused that effort because I had to pause work on the game.

A challenge I haven't completely solved is that difficulty climbs as a project goes on. I want to manage that curve so that the blog remains approachable. For the foreseeable future, I want to combine writing and coding advice, which will slow things down and hopefully make the advice more practical. What do I do when I make a room, for instance, or write object descriptions? And so forth.

If/when I return to Marbles, D, and the Sinister Spotlight (the live blog game), things will get more challenging, tech-wise. Still, the nice thing about that one is that I'm sharing new source code as I write it. People can read the code in progress. I'm not sure anyone has done that before? Perhaps not to that extent. I do want to complete that effort, since it could be a good reference for people.

My vague answer about planning is that I have things I want to accomplish, but there is never a step-by-step plan. I like finding my way. I like doing this, so my own fulfillment guides a lot of my decisions. I think: maybe if I'm having a good time, my readers will, too.

⟶ Which post for Top Expert did you particularly enjoy writing, and why? Was there a hurdle you wish you had known before starting with Inform?

The recent post about “Let's WRITE IF” was very well-received! Text hasn't been a huge focus for me,

but I think I should integrate more discussion of it. In terms of tech, I discovered a ton of cool stuff in the Marbles and D series. I made my first ‘relation’, which is a subject that feels intimidating to people. When you relate things in Inform 7, you are able to make custom sentences in your code. It's very powerful because it allows you to make really readable code.

For instance, in that project it's possible to write code like “the stage is visible from the audience” because of a relation. This was a huge ‘ah-ha’ moment for me!

I've enjoyed all of it, though. The more I write about Inform 7, the more I learn. I really see myself and readers learning together. “Let's Make IF” is more than a name. It's how I feel about the blog.

⟶ For our readers who don't know the project yet, can you tell us a bit more about Marbles, D, and the Sinister Spotlight?

Marbles, D, and the Sinister Spotlight is part of the RTEverse: a much more gentle and lighthearted corner of that universe. The main character is a young boy, D, on an adventure with his best friend, a cat named Marbles. They find out they are trapped in a mysterious theater and must discover the secrets of the space, hopefully escaping in time for lunch with the Guildmaster of the local Enchanter's guild and his pet lemur, Loretta (I'm serious!). From a tech point of view, it is a way for me to explore “scenes”, a powerful feature of Inform 7 that can be used to create a sense of dramatic movement.

I discussed my plan for the project with Brian Rushton, the organizer of Spring Thing. He agreed that I could enter the project as a Back Garden entry (i.e., not compete for Best in Show) while sharing source code, as long as I didn't distribute a compiled game. That's what I've done! There is no binary out there, but anyone can compile the source

themselves. There are fifteen posts so far. The latest version – from the last post in the series – compiles if you delete the last two lines about filename and date. Anybody can look at it right now! Here are all the posts with the ‘marbles and d’ tag.

It's an exciting game for me. Callie and I are big time into cats, so we've enjoyed talking about the story and characters. I'll continue to publish new source code when the project resumes.

⟶ Repeat the Ending is your actual debut in IF authorship, which was pretty successful, winning both the SpringThing and a bunch of Awards (which is pretty rare!). How did you (and Callie) get to work on it?

Things just kind of happen, sometimes. Gold Machine was linked on the IntFiction Forum, so I wandered over there and joined. People discuss Inform 7 over there a lot, and I would sometimes lurk. After a while, I realized: I could understand some of it! That's all thanks to Inform 7's unusual syntax, which just clicked in my brain somehow. I recall that Amanda Walker, who has made some good games, was very open about not being a super technical person, which I thought was very cool. Maybe I could try, too. Before long, I had downloaded the Inform 7 IDE and tinkered in secret.

What everybody knows as Repeat the Ending didn't exist yet. I had pictured a kind of light adventure with a depressive young man and a quippy demon. Pretty light fare. I built the magic system for that. A scene with the demon, the orange-eyed woman, followed. I discovered shortly thereafter that I couldn't write what I wanted, a kind of magic buddy movie. Emotionally, I just wasn't in the right place for that, and I needed to do something darker. It was a healthy dark, as I had been through a lot during COVID and was trying to make sense of it all. Perhaps I wanted to explain myself to myself, if that makes sense, or maybe I just wanted everything to mean something. I wasn't being a shrewd artist. Everything was intuitive.

Early testing was kind of rough. My code was messy. I guess a lot of it was messy. Eventually, things stabilized, and I found some solid, committed testers.

There was a long way to go. After those first tests, I think I had the opening scene with the orange-eyed woman and part of the trailer. That was a lot! I could really start thinking about things like narrative voice, tone, and all the writerly things that interest me. More important than that: a couple of people told me that they thought my project was worthwhile. They encouraged me. Without them, and I'm not exaggerating, I might not have continued. I wasn't sure at all about the project or my skill level.

I learned a lot while making RTE. Design, yes. Code, yes. I also came away from that experience wanting to be nicer to people about their work. I don't write negative reviews anymore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not knocking people who do, but it all hits differently for me now.

At that stage, Callie was my confidant, editor, advisor. I showed her everything. She doesn't want that kind of credit, but it's the truth. When she showed up with a drawing of the orange-eyed-woman just out of nowhere, I was floored. I never told her what to draw. All of the art is hers and hers alone. I wouldn't have had it any other way.

⟶ Can you tell us a bit more about the premise of the game?

The basic idea of Repeat the Ending is that a young man wrote a game for the 1996 IF Competition. It was very buggy and came in second to last. Years later, some new media types are looking for an IF game to revive as a “lost classic”, so they hunt down the author, “Drew Cook”, and ask him to work with them on a new “critical edition” of that game. He agrees.

The playable game is that critical edition. There is also a PDF “transcript” of the buggy 1990s version. In both versions, a mentally ill young man named “D” must travel to the hospital because his mother is dying. On the way, he uses magical powers to help people and a cat. This new “edition” contains footnotes, essays, archival reviews about the game.

It features a “story mode”, which allows people to experience the game even if they're not really into parser gameplay.

It took maybe 18 months, and I put out revisions for months after release. It's big for an Inform 7 game: 150k words of text and code, I think. I didn't target a specific competition for releasing it, so I had an “it's done when it's done” mindset. The story was written from the center out. That is, there were core concepts and themes: mental illness, entropy, grief. I had the characters of D and the Orange-Eyed-Woman. From there, writing happened along multiple arcs. There was the basic story, which came first, and the critical stuff, which followed behind. I wrote the story in episodes, perhaps like issues of a comic book. Each is self-contained, but builds on what came before. As I recently said over at Top Expert, I sincerely didn't know the ending before I got there. I wrote my way to it, if that makes sense.

A note about process: testers were always bouncing ideas off of me, and I really took their experiences to heart. I'm glad I was able to be open in that way, because the game is better because of it.

⟶ Mental illness and emotional distress is a pretty major aspect of the story in Repeat the Ending. Was it something you've drawn from your own experience? What inspired you to include this in the game?

It was never my original intent to include mental illness in Repeat the Ending, but mental illness had other ideas. People have told me specifically that the portrayal of mental illness holds a lot of meaning for them, so I want to just let them have that without saying too much as the author.

Taking RTE out of it: mental illness is a huge presence in my life. I spend a lot of time and money managing it. Energy. And that's just the logistical side of it. The symptoms, the feelings, that's more, that's on top of everything else. My diagnosis is never far from my mind.

⟶ Was there a particular scene of Repeat the Ending that you found challenging?

I think that there were some challenges for me, tech-wise, with getting D and Brad from the trailer park to the house on Lakeshore Drive. There were some narrative challenges, too. Brad went through a lot of versions. He was a victim of violence, but I didn't want that to be all that he was. I didn't want him to be just a sad moment in D's journey. So far as combining programming and writing challenges, I think it's Brad's scene. I'm happy with it, too! That's another one people have commented on, so it must have come across for them.

Emotionally, the scene in the drug store is rough for me. Which is good, I think.

⟶ What was your favorite moment of Repeat the Ending?

My favorite is either the ending or the beginning. I love the Orange-Eyed Woman as a character, and she turns up in both places! In terms of my own fulfillment, though, it has to be the ending. Even now, I have an emotional response to it. In terms of the art, I think Callie's portrayal of the scene outside the hospital might be my favorite, though it's hard to pick just one.

⟶ Let's focus on the “story mode”. What brought on this feature, and was it difficult to implement?

A general concept of built-in walkthrough for parser games was bubbling up in a few places last year, but I first encountered the idea in John Ziegler's How Prince Quisborne the Feckless Shook His Title. He wanted to give his friends and family who weren't into parser games a way to experience the work. That was very relatable to me! I was impressed with the concept, but didn't have any time to think about it with Spring Thing coming up.

A couple of months later, during Disability Pride month, I was talking to author Wade Clarke about accessibility in IF. We were both interested in some research that the Interactive Fiction Technology Foundation had done on accessibility, and we both explored ways to build walkthroughs into games. I think we finished around the same time. Wade wound up giving me some tips about saving game data, so my tool [Story Mode Extension for i7] is much better thanks to him. Writing it was challenging for me technically, so I'm proud of it.

It's my hope that people can use it for different things. An author could use it to make their parser game into a kinetic experience. It could be used as a training or tutorial tool. One thing that I hear again and again is that new players worry about messing things up or making the wrong decision, so it has a sandbox mode that lets people experiment without consequences. Ultimately, it's an accessibility tool that can make parser games more approachable. It's portable and can scale to accommodate very large games.

I'm not sure how widely used it is, because people who don't like parser games probably aren't expecting a feature like that! But I know some people who wouldn't have played RTE otherwise, so that alone makes it worthwhile for me.

⟶ Having created a whole system yourself, do you have any advice for someone looking to make their parser accessible to players?

I think considering screen reader experience is important, and a little work can have a big payoff for players. For instance, there are two extensions for menus in Inform 7. I use Wade Clarke's because it supports screen readers. One thing I've realized while writing my current WIP is that my image descriptions in Repeat the Ending aren't good enough, so I need to go back. I'm still finding things to improve there!

Going back to IFTF's accessibility report, I think having a strategy for presenting and recalling in-game information can make a huge difference to players. What information does the player need to know to succeed? How easily can they get to it? What if they need to access it later? I probably went overboard in RTE, as there are many commands for reviewing footnotes, discovered sources, and even “deaths”, but I'm really convinced that information management can be an accessibility problem. Is the player performing multiple steps to see information they've already discovered? What for? And so on.

My best advice is to talk to the community! In my games, words that players can type verbatim as commands are bracketed with asterisks, as in *READ NOTE*. I do this because a screen reader user told me that it would help them. Almost everything I've done to make my work accessible has come from research and conversation. I'm not an expert, so I try to understand what people with experience are saying.

⟶ Another form of accessibility with parsers is the inclusion of Tutorials at the start of the game, which is also included in RTE through C.A. Smythe notes. To you, what should be the goal of a tutorial, and how do you achieve that?

Tutorials are really hard to write. I think at a basic level, the goal of the tutorial is to teach the player something, but there are the questions of “what?” and “how much?” Repeat the Ending isn't meant to be an introduction to parser games, so its tutorial started as a way to introduce unique commands for the magic system and various bits of paratext (guide, footnotes, etc). From a design point of view, my earliest priority was walking the player through completing the basic gameplay loop: find magic, get magic, use magic. If a work has a unique mechanic, players have to know about it.

People writing tutorials for players brand new to parser games have a much bigger challenge to take on: what does a person who has never played a parser game need to know? That's something that comes up in discussion a lot. I don't think there's a perfect answer yet, but it probably involves not just command entry but presentation and information management.

The other aspect of the tutorial is narrative voice. Who is giving these instructions? Does that work with or against the in-game narrator? My initial tutorial involved a generic, omniscient persona, but a tester suggested making it a distinct speaker instead. Things really took off from there! Smythe also teaches the player about the "meta" aspect of the game, since the player sees a lot of her comments early on.

In everything I'm working on now, having a solid answer for the question “who is explaining the game to the player” is a priority.

For a new player, I think I'd recommend Lonely Troll by Amanda Walker. That's got a lot of strong tutorial content.

⟶ With the heavy meta aspect of the game, we couldn't help but notice a link to your other project Gold Machine and how people find meaning in IF. Was this done on purpose, or were you simply influenced by your player-first-perspective on the medium?

I'm always careful about discussing my intent, since I don't want to influence the player's experience. However, I have discussed my writing process: I discovered Repeat the Ending while writing it, beginning with only a small idea. In that sense, I was its first player. I experienced its loops, saw its text as it went from head to screen. In other words: I had my own experience with it, too.

That experience involved finding meaning. It definitely led me to ask if players could have that same sense of discovering and interpreting. I also wondered: is this what people want out of IF? Out of my work? Ultimately, I had to put it in front of people and find out.

I'll be honest. I was completely unprepared for the reaction to RTE. I thought it would have fans, but it would ultimately wind up an obscure curiosity. I'm very grateful that people engaged with all of the text and discussed it. That meant a lot to me.

⟶ And a great reaction it got! You not only won Best in Show at the SpringThing, you also received a handful of IFDB Awards, and was ranked in the TOP 50 IF of All Time... all as your debut game. This is pretty unusual. How did it feel getting this reaction? And does it put any pressure on you, for any future project you are thinking of releasing?

It's strange, I entered Spring Thing feeling very competitive. I wanted to prove myself, and that was always on my mind. I felt vulnerable because I was putting myself out there with a game that felt personal, and I didn't want to fail. That was a lot of pressure that I was putting on myself. I think that I'll be able to go easier on myself next time I enter Spring Thing. I'll also do a Back Garden entry next time whether it's Marbles and D or something else.

That will remove concerns about winning altogether!

There's another kind of pressure, though, which is what you're asking about. People liked Repeat the Ending so much, and I really want to give them a good experience. I think that one way around or past the pressure is to do something completely different! My IF Comp game has nearly nothing to do with RTE, though I think my writing style might come across. It will hopefully be a good palate cleanser before the other RTEverse games hit next year.

⟶ After a large competition, we've seen some authors blow off steam by entering small game jams (especially more recently). Is that kind of event something you'd participate in the future as well?

I've always seen myself as a “big game” person, mainly because my writing style leads me down side roads and discursions. I like to tinker, and that takes time, code, and text. I'm not very efficient!

I've wanted to challenge that, though. Marbles, D, and the Sinister Spotlight began as an ECTOCOMP game. First as La Petite Mort, and later, when things got out of hand, Le Grand Guignol. I still couldn't keep it under control, so it became the Let's Make IF idea. That's what it will stay, sharing code and tutorials will be its final form.

⟶ With the IFComp upon us, can you give us some details about your entry?

It is another answer to your jam question. I hang out on the Neo Interactives (@neointeractives) discord and I'm always curious about their events. Single Choice Jam in particular sounds like an interesting challenge from a narrative POV, and I've wanted to write something single choice for a while. But! My attempt for this year's jam turned out to have more choices, so I'm hurrying to finish it up in time for IF Comp. Callie is making art, too. I don't want to spoil any surprises. It describes itself as a “fun fortune telling game with a gimmick”! The title, emoticons included, is “Portrait With Wolf ^_^”

So, single choice-inspired, fortune telling. It's very choice friendly, for people who prefer that to parser gameplay. I hope your readers will try it out!

⟶ So you have Top Expert, Gold Machine and Gold Microphone, and working on your own lengthy parser projects, how do you manage balancing all that?

Honestly, I don't balance it very well. These are all things I got into out of love, so they are each pulling at me all of the time. Right now, hitting the IF Comp deadline is the priority, so everything has to get out of the way for that. I have this feeling that Top Expert should update weekly. Honestly, Gold Machine and the podcast have much bigger audiences, but if somebody can use my stuff to meet a jam or comp deadline, I want it to be there.

I don't know if that ever happens, but I'm listening to that impulse for now.

I need to get serious about Gold Machine once the game is done, though. I've let Trinity go on too long and it's starting to feel weird.

However, I've learned to be nice to myself about this stuff. I lost three months to depression earlier in the year. I just couldn't make anything for three months. That's why I didn't hit the Spring Thing deadline for the Marbles, D, and the Sinister Spotlight project. It's possible to get stuck there, thinking “I can't believe all that work is down the drain”. I wanted to write those posts, and be part of that event. People were following along and taking part. It's disappointing, but I can't beat myself up whenever that happens.

My core philosophy is that I want to do what I love when I can. Some good things have come out of that!

⟶ You've reviewed quite a few games since you joined the IF scene. Do you have any recommendations for our readers?

I have reviewed a lot of games, though there are a ton more that I hope to talk about someday. A lot of my favorites are outliers, usually because I'm attracted to certain themes or mechanics.

Thinking of parser games: my favorite Andrew Plotkin game is Shade, and I've never seen anyone say that before. My favorite Amanda Walker game is The Spectators. I love Brian Rushton's The Impossible Stairs! Something by Chandler Groover: Eat Me, probably. I think A Mind Forever Voyaging is Infocom's best game, though my sentimental favorites are Enchanter and Zork III. Gestures Toward Divinity by Charm Cochran. One more: Sting by Mike Russo.

I seem to be drawn to choice-based works these days, mostly because choice games are often better at driving their narratives forward. I enjoy that sort of storytelling momentum and also want to learn from it as a writer. I don't think many would agree, but my favorite Emily Short game is Bee, and it's not very close! I love Brendan Patrick Hennessy's stuff (@brendanpatrickhennessy). Spy Intrigue by Furkle. Computerfriend by Kit Riemer (@adz). My opinion on this varies, but, for today's interview, my favorite Autumn Chen game is A Paradox Between Worlds [Drew interviewed Autumn]. Vampire: The Masquerade - Night Road by Kyle Marquis is my favorite Choice of Games title.

There's so much great IF out there. I could probably spend days making a comprehensive list of favorites!

⟶ What is on the horizon for Drew Cook, and where can we follow it all?

Currently, I have three Inform 7 works in progress. The IF Comp game is going to some testers this week. I'd love to get Marbles, D, and the Sinister Spotlight in next year's Spring Thing! As I've mentioned, I'd like to make some headway with Trinity. I've wanted to write an essay about Victor Gijsbers's The Game Formerly Known as Hidden N*zi Mode for quite a while. We'll see! I always have a bunch of stuff bouncing around in my head.

I always announce new content on mastodon and tumblr (@golmac). It's ok to contact me at either of those places. I'm always happy to hear from nice people!

Less formally, I follow Neo Interactives (@neointeractives). They have cool jams and a nice discord. That's a good place to just run into me. You can check out their tumblr for more info.

I'm very open to questions about Inform 7 or anything else. Don't be afraid to get in touch!

WARMEST THANKS TO DREW COOK FOR BEING SO CANDID WITH US ABOUT HIS INTERACTIVE FICTION PROJECTS!

~ NEW RELEASE ~

~ We didn't find new complete releases outside of events ~

As always, don't forget to check out the submitted entries to the events mentioned in the previous pages. They deserve some love too!

~ NEW RELEASE (WIP) ~

To Taste Sweet Silver (Twine) is a dark gaslamp fantasy, where survival is not really your end goal. @sweetsilver-if

The Sun Coven (CScript) is a fantasy project where you play a fleeing witch trying to survive and maybe rebuild the old coven. @the-sunhold-coven

Knight of Greenhaven (CScript) is a high-fantasy project, where you play a newly-made knight looking to compete in a royal tourney.

Weeping Gods (CScript) is a historical fantasy set in Ancient Egypt, where you goal is to recover powerful artifacts, or risk death. @jcollinswrites

Freak: Falling Awake (CScript) is a reimagining of the Freak story, following your journey as a nigh indestructible superhuman.

At the mercy of hatred (CScript) is a superhero story, where you play a vigilante seeking revenge. @darkrose-thewriter

Heart of the Mountain (CScript) is a fantasy romance project, set 5 years after Heart of Battle, with a completely new cast.

Orphic Love (CScript) is romance fantasy project inspired by Greek Mythology, where you play as the goddess of nightmares.

~ GAMES UPDATES ~

The Wayhaven Chronicles (CScript) released the second chapter of Book 4 to the public. @seraphinitegames

Incubus (Twine) released its fourth chapter. @sonnet009games

The Bastard of Camelot (Twine) added Chapter 5 to the demo. @llamagirl28

Link Rot (Custom) released a new transmission. @qrowscant

The Lonely Shore (CScript) updated the demo with Chapter 2. @thelonelyshore-if

The In-Between (CScript) added Chapters 7 and 8 to the Patreon demo. @dalekowrites

Zombie Exodus: Stronghold (CScript)'s demo updated with Chapter 4.

Peninsula Campaign (CScript)'s demo is now available to the public.

Dawn of Heroes (CScript) added Chapter 26, its final chapter, to the demo.

A Shriek of Ash and Fire (CScript) updated both the Patreon and public demo with extra content. @krogpile

Before the Incident (CScript) added Chapters 3 and 4 to the demo. @remnant-verse-if

The Bar on the Abyss (CScript) updated the demo with a lot of extra content and improvements. @thebarontheabyss

The Ballad of Devil's Creek (Twine) complete its move from Harlowe to SugarCube. @devilscreekballad

The One Chosen (CScript) updated the public beta with Chapter 31. @parrotwatcher

~ OTHER ~

After a few quiet months, The Rosebush returned with a new essay, “Game Design Lessons Learned Trying to Write a Cento” by Hugo Labrande. @the-rosebush-mag

The new issue of the Amare Fortnightly Bulletin just released! Check out issue 22. @amaregames

Communistsister released a new fork of her engine Videotome, for lightweight stat raising datingsims called VIDEOTOME HEARTBREAK. @communistsister

Honor Bound (CScript) is officially in its Beta Testing Period, and is looking for official testers. @hpowellsmith

As always, we apologize in advance for missing any update or release from the past week. We are only volunteers using their limited free time to find as much as we can - but sometimes things pass through the cracks.

If you think something should have been included in this week's zine but did not appear, please shoot us a message! We'll do our best to add it next week! And if you know oncoming news, add it here!

~ MAYBE YOU NEXT? ~

We did not get a submission this week. But if you have an idea for a short essay, or would like a special space to share your thoughts about IF and the community...

Shoot us an email!

~ HIGHLIGHT ON ~

A couple of games that we thought were cool.

Shepherds of Haven by Lena Nguyen @shepherds-of-haven (CScript - dashingdon)

“An absolute masterpiece, one of the best IFs out there. The world building is so detailed, interesting, the writing style is gorgeous and lush, and the characters are honestly TO DIE FOR. Impeccable found family who have their own personalities and lives and who feel like real people!! Insane branching and freedom of choice!!”

//submitted by anonymous//

Pokemon by Anna Anthropy (Bitsy - itch.io)

“Just play it.”

(ok sorry, here's the real rec:)

Cowgirl Boots by fellerooni (Bitsy - itch.io)

“The coziest and cutest lesbian western piece I've ever played. It's only good vibes all the way down. Cried like 500 times.”

//submitted by hehehehe//

Sobre lo inevitable by paravaariar (Custom - itch.io - IFDB)

A symbolic and surreal escape adventure inside a sandcastle, where one wrong move sends you back to the start (but your progress doesn't completely reset). It is beautfifully retro, and charmingly atmospheric.

While the puzzles are not too complex, one or two does need a bit of remembering info.

Also available in French.

//recommended by Axelle [Team]//

Your favourite game here?

Do you have a favourite game that deserve some highlighting?

A old or recent game that wowed you so much you spam it to everyone?

Tell us about it! And it might appear here!

WE LOVE TO HEAR FROM YOU ALL! WETHER IT'S GOOD OR BAD, OR EVERYTHING IN BETWEEN...

Dang! yall are doing amazing interviews here! I don't know who asks the questions there, but they are really so good and bring such interesting answers from the interviewees! Barbara's interview was fantastic!!! - catsobabel

I don't want to be a huge bummer but I learned that the author of Magium passed away. His game was what got me into IF... this week really sucked... - a sad reader

i'm giving my shoutout to @nothingherebutthefog this week, because i know she's been having some hard time lately. so i hope this will cheer her up a bit! you got this Anna!!!! - anonymous

Have something to say? Send us a message titled: Zine Letter!

As we end this issue, we would like to thank:

a sad reader, catsobabel, hehehehe, and so many helpful anonymous users!

For sending news, interview questions, helpful tips, cool links, filled form, written Sheet line, even emails... all these help us so much to make this Zine possible!

And as always, huge thanks to all you readers to liked, shared, and commented on last week's issue! What might be tiny actions are huge support and motivators to us! Thank you for cheering us on this journey!

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

We also hope you join us again next week, for we have a very special guest on the zine:

Creator of the beloved Stay?, independent author, and podcaster, fanfic writer (@dirgewithoutmusic @ink-splotch) We're talking to E. Jade Lomax next week!

Want to know more about her work? How she found IF? Or learn more about her non-dev projects? Send us all your burning questions!

And see you again next week!

ERIKA, MARJORIE, AXELLE, AND NOI

WHAT'S NEW IN IF? 2024-ISSUE 18

140 notes · View notes

writingwithcolor · 9 months

Text

[Running Commentary] Zombies are Zombies: Cultural Relativism, Folklore, and Foreign Perspectives

She obviously started getting into media in Japan, and (from my research into Japanese media and culture), Japan’s movies about zombies are mostly comedic, since due to traditional funerary practices the idea of zombies bringing down society is ridiculous to a lot of Japanese people.

Rina: OP, this you? https://www.tofugu.com/japan/japanese-zombies/

Marika: Counterpoint: Parasite Eve. Resident Evil. The Evil Within.

Rina: Literally all the grody horror game franchises that people forget were developed and written by Japanese people because the characters have names like “Leon Kennedy” and “Sebastian Castellanos”

~ ~ ~

Based on the reception we received the last time we did one of these, the Japanese moderator team returns with another running commentary. (They’re easier to answer this way) (Several of Marika’s answers may be troll answers)

Our question today pertains to foreign perspectives on folklore—that is, how people view folklore and stories that aren’t a part of their culture. CW: for anything you’d associate with zombies and a zombie apocalypse, really.

Keep reading for necromancy, horror games, debunking the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, Hong Kong jiangshi films, Japanese disaster prep videos, and Vietnamese idol pop...

Essentially, in my story there’s an organization who wants to end the world. They think this one woman in particular, a woman of mixed Vietnamese (irreligious, Kinh) and Japanese descent who spent her formative years in Japan, is the person to do it because she’s (for lack of a better term) a necromancer; powers are semi-normal in this world. She prefers not to use her powers overall, but when she does she mostly talks to ghosts and spirits that are giving people issues. She could technically reanimate a corpse but she wouldn’t because she feels that would be morally wrong, not to mention she couldn’t start a zombie apocalypse in the traditional sense (plague, virus, etc.) in the first place.

(Marika (M): Your local public health officials would like to assure necromancers that reviving the dead will not provoke a zombie apocalypse. This is because necromancy is a reanimation technique, and not a pathogenic vector. Assuming that the technique does not release spores, airborne viruses, gasses, or other related physical matter that can affect neighboring corpses in a similar way, there should be no issue. However, necromancers should comply with local regulations w/r to permitting and only raise the dead with the approval of the local municipality and surviving family.)

M: I think it makes sense for most people of E. Asian descent, including Japanese and Vietnamese people, to find it culturally reprehensible to reanimate the dead. I imagine the religious background of your character matters as well. What religion(s) are her family members from? How do they each regard death and the treatment of human remains? Depending on where she grew up, I’m curious on how she got opportunities to practice outside specialized settings like morgues.

M: It’s true, space in Japan is at a premium, even for the dead. You note that most of Japan cremates, but, surely, it must have occurred to you that if there aren’t that many bodies in Japan to raise…she doesn’t exactly have much opportunity to practice with her powers, does she? I yield to our Vietnamese followers on funerary customs in Vietnam, but you may want to better flesh out your world-building logic on how necromancy operates in your story (And maybe distinguish between necromancy v. channeling v. summoning v. exorcisms).

Rina (R): OP, this you? https://www.tofugu.com/japan/japanese-zombies/

M: Counterpoint: Parasite Eve. Resident Evil. The Evil Within.

R: Literally all the grody horror game franchises that people forget were developed and written by Japanese people because the characters have names like “Leon Kennedy” and “Sebastian Castellanos”

R: And yes, the Tofugu article uses Resident Evil and those games to support its theory, with the reason that they are set in the West. But that only suggests that Japanese people consider zombies a Western thing, not that Japanese people consider zombies nonthreatening if they were to exist.

M: Same with vampires - series like Castlevania also use Western/ European settings and not “Vampires in Japan '' because vampires just aren't part of our folklore.

(M: Also, realistically, these series deal with individuals who quickly perish after their bodies are used as hosts for the pathogen in question, rather than the pathogen reanimating a corpse. Although the victims are initially alive, they soon succumb to the pathogen/ parasite and their organic matter then becomes an infectious vector for the disease. It should be noted, infecting ordinary, living humans with viruses to grant them elevated powers, is not only a major violation of consent and defies all recommendations made by the Belmont Report (in addition to a number of articles in the Hague Convention w/r to the use of WMDs) and is unlikely to be approved by any reputable university’s IRB committee. This is why the Umbrella Corporation are naughty, naughty little children, and honestly, someone should have assassinated Wesker for the grant money.)

R: wwww

From what I know Vietnam didn’t have a zombie movie until 2022.

R: Do you mean a domestically produced zombie movie? Because Vietnamese people have most certainly had access to zombie movies for a long time. The Hong Kong film Mr. Vampire (1985) was a gigantic hit in Southeast Asia; you can find a gazillion copies of this movie online with Viet subs, with people commenting on how nostalgic this movie is or how they loved it as a kid.

M: “Didn’t have a [domestic] zombie movie” is not necessarily the same thing as “Would not have made one if the opportunity had arisen.” None of us here are personifications of the Vietnamese film industry, I think it’s safe to say we couldn’t know. Correlation is not causation. It’s important to do your research thoroughly, and not use minor facts to craft a narrative based on your own assumptions.

(R: …Also, I did find a 2017 music video for “Game Over” by the Vietnamese idol Thanh Duy which features… a zombie apocalypse.)

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(R: The MV has a very campy horror aesthetic and zombie backup dancers (which I love, everyone please watch this lol). But the scenes at the beginning and end where people are biting their fingers watching a threatening news report clearly establish that the zombies are considered a threat.)

So at one point, she laughs about the idea and remarks how ridiculous it is to think zombies could end the world. What I’m struggling with are other ways to show her attitude on the issue because I’d assume most non-Japanese readers wouldn’t get why she thinks like that. Are there any other ways to show why she thinks this way, especially ones that might resonate more with a Japanese reader?

R: The problem is this does not resonate in the first place. Your line of thinking is too Sapir-Whorf-adjacent. The Sapir-Whorf hypothesis, otherwise known as linguistic relativity theory, claims that language shapes cognition—that you can’t conceive of something if you can’t express it in your language. This is a very weak theory that you can easily bring evidence against: think of the last time you felt an emotion you had a hard time putting into words; just because you didn’t have the language for it doesn’t mean that you didn’t feel it, nor does it mean that you won’t be able to understand or recognize it if you feel it again. Similarly, it’s not a sound assumption to say that if some kind of subject matter does not exist in a culture, then people of that culture couldn't possibly conceive of it. This excerpt from linguist Laura Bailey sums it up quite well.

M: Just because ghosts may be more culturally relevant doesn’t mean that zombies (or vampires, or whatever) are nonexistent in a Japanese or Vietnamese person’s imagination when it comes to horror and disaster.

R: Really, if anything, Japanese people are much more attuned to how easily a society’s infrastructure can be destroyed by a disruptive force without adequate preparation. Japan is natural disaster central. A Japanese person would know better than anyone that if you aren’t prepared for a zombie epidemic—yeah it’s gonna be bad.

M: Earthquakes, tsunami, typhoon, floods: Japan has robust disaster infrastructure out of necessity. 防災 or bousai, meaning disaster preparedness is a common part of daily life, including drills at workplaces, schools, and community organizations. Local government and community agencies are always looking for ways to make disaster and pandemic preparedness relevant to the public.

M: Might “zombie apocalypse prep as a proxy for disaster prep” be humorous in an ironic, self-deprecating way? Sure, but it’s not like Japanese people are innately different from non-Japanese people. Rather, by being a relatively well-off country practiced at disaster preparation with more experience than most parts of the world with many different types of disasters (and the accompanying infrastructure), it likely would seem more odd to most Japanese people within Japan to not handle a zombie apocalypse rather like might one handle a combination of a WMD/ chemical disaster+pandemic+civil unrest (all of which at least some part of Japan has experienced). Enjoy this very long, slightly dry video on COVID-19 safety procedures and preparedness using the framing device of surviving a zombie apocalypse.

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M: Living in Los Angeles, I’ve often experienced similar tactics. We do a fair amount of advance and rehearsed disaster prep here as well. In elementary school, the first and last days of class were always for packing and unpacking home-made disaster packs, and “zombie apocalypse” simulations have been around since I was in middle school for all kinds of drills, including active shooter drills, like the one shown in this LAT article. The line between “prepper” and “well prepared” really comes down to degree of anxiety and zeal. So, it wouldn’t be just Japanese people who might not be able to resonate with your scene. The same could be said for anyone who lives somewhere with a robust disaster prevention culture.

M: A zombie apocalypse is not “real” in the sense of being a tangible threat that the majority of the world lives in fear of waking up to (At least, for the mental health of most people, I hope so). Rather, zombie apocalypse narratives are compelling to people because of the feelings of vague, existential dread they provoke: of isolation, paranoia, dwindling resources, and a definite end to everything familiar. I encourage you to stop thinking of the way Japanese people and non-Japanese people think about vague, existential dread as incomprehensible to each other. What would you think about zombies if they actually had a chance of existing in your world? That’s probably how most Japanese people would feel about them, too.

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