#and a lot of the burden from that team is falling on me as a division lead

[eightmakesonebraincell]

our leaves must fall before our flowers can bloom (teaser)

genre: poly hockey team!ateez x coach fem!reader, enemies/strangers to lovers, athlete!au, slow burn, fluff, angst

length: 1.0k (teaser) + approx. 38k (full fic)

c/w: sweaty ateez (warning well deserved), lots of hurt/comfort, one of the slowest slow burns to slow burn, remaining tags to be revealed with full fic

synopsis: you become the new coach of the elite men's ice hockey team, the red devils. but with both yourself and the team carrying burdens of the past, you all find it difficult to see eye to eye. as you lead them to the championships in the korean ice hockey league, you discover that teamwork and trust is not as straightforward as it seems.

a/n: when i started writing this i really thought it wouldn't exceed 25k but here we are :D full fic will be released in about a week and i am so ready

“she’s the new coach?” yunho frowns in confusion. “no offence, but we’re not a bunch of kids for her to practise being a soccer mum to.”

“she was the assistant coach for the grey eagles,” coach cho discloses.

“the grey eagles? the under-21 men’s championship team?” yeosang looks incredulous.

mingi sceptically comments, “the fact that we’ve never seen or heard of her before probably tells us enough.”

hongjoong’s lips purse sourly as he tries his hardest to analyse the situation with the professionalism of the team’s captain. but with the sudden change in coaches and the same critiquing doubts as mingi, hongjoong cannot help but feel his personal judgement webbing over his mind. over the team’s entire career as an elite ice hockey team thus far–five years, now well into their sixth–the red devils have only ever had two coaches. coach cho has been with them for the longest and whilst it took the team a while to eventually warm up to him, he has been with them for almost quadruple the amount of time it took to trust him.

the team’s alternate captain, seonghwa, speaks to you directly, “if you don’t mind me asking, why are you not playing as an athlete yourself? you’re clearly our age–nowhere near retiring.”

you knew from the very start that your age would make your credibility as a coach much lower, and your answer to seonghwa will not help your case either. “i stopped playing.”

“how come?”

the trigger of memories fills your nose with a sharp stinging smell. you blankly reveal, “i chose to stop playing.” you know exactly how it sounds like to somebody else, even more so to professional athletes. coach cho has also told you of the team’s hardheadedness and strong will when it comes to the passions of their career, so you are expecting the cold receptiveness that you are met with.

your response strikes the wrong chord within wooyoung. there was a point in his career not too long ago when the choice of continuing to play or not was at risk of becoming a forced decision. the way you answer so callously with those very words that had threatened to tear his world apart has his jaw grinding and eyes darkening, and he is not the only athlete in the arena who feels similarly.

“i would rather choose to die before i choose to stop playing. ice hockey is my entire life and without it, i am not living either,” hongjoong jabs and you cannot help but clench your fists because you know exactly what he means. still, you stay quiet as he continues, “sorry, but i can’t respect a ‘coach’ who chose to stop playing.”

at the captain’s words and subsequent move to leave for the changerooms, the rest of the team also gather their equipment and follow his steps. san’s feet falter in front of you, expression hesitant until he decides to voice, “our team needs a bit of time. it’s hard for us to warm up to…outsiders, and i know it might not mean much to say this but we have our reasons. don’t expect us to blindly trust you just because you’re a coach.”

the use of the word ‘outsider’ does not go unnoticed as you nod, “of course.”

san jogs off to rejoin the others and coach cho hums, “guess some things haven’t changed. they were just as prickly to me when i first became their coach.”

you raise an eyebrow, “prickly? to you?”

“yes, believe it or not,” he chuckles nostalgically. “we’ve come a long way because i’ve been their coach for years now. but it took me a while before i was able to break down their walls.”

you briefly mull over the information, then ask out of curiosity, “what would you have done if i didn’t sign the contract?”

“begged you to rethink your decision,” he jokes with a pleased chortle. “i would have to start looking for a different coach, i suppose. you were my only pick.”

“but why me, of all people? there are so many other experienced coaches that you can choose from.”

he looks at you, eyes glinting with intuition and confidence as he simply says, “you’re familiar with their playing style. they play just like you used to.” at your silent processing, coach cho probes, “why didn’t you tell them the real reason?”

you smile wistfully, “i didn't tell them because i’m not here to gain their pity.”

some of the boys’ voices grow louder as they emerge from the changerooms, changed into fresh clothes and their kit bags slung over their shoulders. you hear one of them ask, “captain, is she really going to be our new coach?”

they step out from the facility’s corridor and you accidentally make eye contact with hongjoong, yet neither of you look away. maintaining a steady gaze directly at you, he responds with a slight glower, “maybe, but she’s only the coach by title. i’m still the captain of the team, so let’s see who everyone listens to.”

as they exit the rink’s arena, you feel a fire of determination growing inside of you. you have won over your own demons and you have won the championships before–this is nothing in comparison. whether your next words are for coach cho or for yourself to hear, it does not matter.

“i may not play anymore but i was still once an athlete and no athlete has ever, in their career, wanted pity. i’m here to earn the team’s respect and i will win over them, especially their captain.”

you watch the swing of the glass door as it shuts behind the players, catching a brief glimpse of the trees lining the arena’s perimeter. it is the first day of autumn when you meet the red devils for the first time and outside, the leaves are beginning to change their colours.

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[veeaziel]

currently that time of the month and im starting to feel every sad, angry, irritated, icky feeling from the past 2 months all at once but also not?? and also a tiktok popped up with the song "it's time" by imagine dragons and i just immediately teared up and now i wanna cry of nostalgia

[jjkamochoso]

Imagine… Soshiro Hoshina Finding You on the Brink of Death

Angst, Hurt/No Comfort

Soshiro Hoshina x gn!reader

Warnings: mentions of injuries, ivs, death

Part two with fluff can be found here!

It looked to be the end of the line for you. Your Defense Force suit had long overheated, leaving you exhausted and vulnerable in your solo fight against the kaiju. The oversized monster saw how weak you were, becoming even more excited at the prospect of devouring yet another human. You kept shooting its snarling face in your desperation, round after round bouncing off its armored body since you wielded no extra power. The kaiju’s tail whipped around in a flash, hitting your slow moving body in the abdomen and making your gun fly from your grip. You were now splayed on the ground, unable to run and barely able to breathe. You didn’t want to give up but things were utterly hopeless. Your communications had been down the entire time of your 1 on 1 skirmish and your team had no idea where you were, you having been separated from them for far too long at that point. The kaiju strolled over to you, an aura of bloodlust surrounding it as it snatched you up in its jaw. You had no fight left in you—you just hoped your head would go first before all your bones were snapped.

“No more dinner for you tonight, you ugly shit.”

Was that… Soshiro? He came for you? You heard the faint unsheathing of swords as your eyes closed, ready to pass out. In its anger at being disrupted, the kaiju dropped you from its mouth and you tumbled onto the asphalt. The last thing you saw was a blur of violet hair and a whole lot of kaiju blood.

It was almost totally quiet when you came to again, save for the wheezing of your labored breaths. The sun was hanging high in the hazy sky and the weather was perfect--not too hot, not chilly at all. You wondered what Soshiro was up to. Was he still fighting the kaiju? You smiled at the thought. He was always so brave, the first one to jump into action. The relief you felt when he showed up to save you was insurmountable, though you probably weren't going to survive with your extensive injuries if you didn't see a doctor soon. What you wouldn't give to see his face again for the last time. No matter, the memories that you had together were more than enough for you. Maybe it was better this way. You couldn't imagine him setting eyes on your condition right now, you didn't want to burden him with your death. You prayed to whatever spiritual guide to let you pass before someone found your body; there was no way you'd let him lecture you about being more careful as you died.

"Vice Captain! They're still alive!"

You sighed as much as your broken body would allow. With Kafka around, your peaceful death plans would have to wait.

"Y/n, stay with us. Don't fall asleep, okay?"

His kind voice, though loud, was a welcome sound. Even still, your eyes were struggling to stay open as your head lolled around, but now your body was being maneuvered by someone whose touch had become a familiar comfort--

"Soshiro," you muttered, opening your eyes to find bright purple irises boring into your own. "Did you kill it?"

"Kill it? He obliterated that thing!" exclaimed Kafka, excitedly gesticulating. "He was all, swoosh with the swords and the honju was like, ahhh! Don't dice me up! But Vice Captain was like too bad, you should've thought of that before putting your hands on my y/n-"

"That's enough, Hibino."

"Yes, sir. I'll just, uh... stand over there."

Kafka ran off without another word, leaving you in the arms of the man you loved most.

"You’re my knight in shining kaiju armor," you choked out, trying to get a laugh from Soshiro, but he wasn't having any of it as he patched up your external injuries the best he could with his field first aid kit.

"I almost lost you, y/n. You almost died because I was too slow."

"Soshiro, that's not..." The blood you coughed up mixed with the blood on Soshiro's uniform.

"I know this might be selfish of me, but I can't let you die because I can't live without you. I don't want to live a life that doesn't have you in it. I would do anything for you." He placed a large bandage on a cut on your face, letting his fingertips rest there for longer than necessary before getting back to the task at hand. "I remember you said all those years ago you would do anything for me, too. Would you please hang in there and survive this? For me? For… us?”

He was right, you did say that. It was about a year after you both joined the Defense Force. You were both underdogs and no one seemed to believe in you and your abilities, except for each other. You had bonded over being underestimated and swore to each other that you’d never leave one another behind, in anything. He very obviously made good on that promise today.

You coughed up more blood and you could see the worry and pain in Soshiro’s gaze as he looked upon you, lying in his arms like a broken doll. He so gently wiped away the tears that were falling down your cheeks.

“It-everything hurts,” you whimpered.

“I know, I know it does. But we’re gonna get you the help you need, okay?”

You didn’t respond, causing Soshiro’s heart to plummet.

“Y/n. No, no, no, you gotta wake up. C’mon, this isn’t funny,” he pleaded, tapping your face, but getting no response.

“Shit! Hibino!” he yelled, trying his best to stay composed. “We need medic right now! Y/n won’t wake up!”

“Coming right now, Vice Captain!”

Sure enough, a doctor came rushing over, immediately placing down a stretcher. Soshiro loaded your unmoving body onto the hard plastic and he couldn’t help but think of how fragile you looked. Normally you were such a bright light in his life and a formidable ally not easily defeated, but right now, you looked one step from death’s door. He and Kafka dropped you off in an ambulance, ivs immediately being pumped into your veins. As those doors closed, Soshiro getting one last look of the love of his life, he prayed to whoever would listen that the door hadn’t closed on the opportunity to tell you how he truly felt.

PART TWO

[letstalkaboutshtufff]

Never a Burden

Neteyam x Reader Mate

Summary: You don’t want to bother Neteyam with your issues but things keep getting worse with another clan member won’t leave you alone…

Warning: Mentions of injury, cursing.

***************************************************

“Don’t cause trouble” was a line Neteyam constantly said to his younger brother over the years, and now that mantle of troublemaker had been passed over to you, his mate.

Neteyam loved you more than life but by god you were a handful and then some. You were like a magnet for sticky situations and more often than not Neteyam had to come to your rescue.

Like the time some visiting Navi from a neighboring clan were bullying a harmless forest creature so you “intervened”. He yelled at you for being careless and putting yourself in danger.

Or the time your necklace flew off during a flying session so you promptly dived and searched the waters for hours until you found it. You came back soaked and shivering late into the night with the beads in your hand.

“What were you thinking!?” He scolded quickly wrapping you up in a warm blanket.

“B-b-but it’s the necklace you gifted me…” you chattered and he let out an exasperated sigh.

These situations were a frequent occurrence since he met you however he realized soon on that that was a package deal with being your mate. He’d take that deal any day.

Your husband had been endlessly busy on raids the past few months, only coming home to regroup and head back out. He was beyond exhausted most of the time, coming into your tent and falling asleep in your arms almost instantly

Usually Neteyam had patience and a level head but these past months proved to be a heavy challenge. Which made sense since so much was riding on his shoulders.

You felt bad for him which Is why you didn’t want to bother him with your troubles. Even if this situation wasn’t exactly your fault…

Recently a nearby clan had teamed up with yours to battle the sky people. This clan was different than yours, hard headed, brutal, our clans didn’t usually get along but they had a common enemy which made them a strong ally.

However some of the clans males had been targeting you. It started off small at first, taunts here and there. You weren’t a warrior which is why they criticized you as the oleyektens mate. But lately they’ve been getting more bold, one male in particular, Tu’Mey, their ring leader had been degrading you, commenting on your body and how neteyam must hate rutting with such a skinny female.

Today was when he finally crossed the line, you were gathering herbs in the forest with Kiri when she left early because of a headache.

You didn’t think anything of being alone until a familiar voice had you cursing.

“What are you doing out here all alone huh?” Tu’Mey emerged from behind a tree with a grin. He was alone which you didn’t know was better or worse.

“None of your business.” You snatched your basket up and threw him a glare as you went to move past him back to camp, you let out a little gasp when he grabbed your arm instead. That was the first time he had touched you.

“Let go of me!” You hissed and pulled but he didn’t relent.

“Heh so weak, what does a great warrior like your husband see in you huh?”

His grip was strong and you felt a moment of panic.

“Enough, let go asshole!” You punched at him with your other hand but it was like hitting a boulder. He easily grabbed your other hand and pulled you closer. Your eyes widened as he brought his face closer to yours.

“Hmm you may be no warrior, but you do have a pleasant enough face I suppose.”

“Let go before I-“

“Before you what? Hurt me?” He laughed and pulled your arms up high pulling you up right to his body.

You panicked a lot more now feeling his skin touching yours.

You start kicking at him and he clicks his tongue in annoyance, and backs you up into a tree roughly. The bark digging into your skin painfully.

“Oh I’m sorry did that hurt?” He asked mockingly.

“Go on cry for me little forest girl”

You refused to shed tears but you were definitely afraid.

Suddenly you heard a rustling up ahead followed by several Navi voices.

Tu’Mey pulled you deeper in the forest away from prying eyes, his mistake was leaving one hand open.

As he pulled you away you caught a glint of a knife at his waist, it was probably a bad idea but you didn’t really have a choice.

In moments you grabbed at the knife and swiped at the arm holding you.

You were successful but the moment Tu’Mey realized what you done his eyes were full of fury.

You turned to run but were abruptly yanked back by your braid.

“Oh now you wanna fight little girl? Cmon then let’s fight.” He used your hair to propel you forward roughly. You rolled several times before hitting a tree. You gasped in pain.

Suddenly he was above you again and you saw his leg go out and in straight to your stomach. You cried out in pain. Great mother help me.

He kicked the same place again and then roughly pulled you up by your arms.

You slumped in his hold but still managed a hiss. Not that it really did anything.

He opened his mouth to say something but the voices were nearing again. He cursed and threw you back down.

“This isn’t over”. And just as fast as he came he disappeared in the trees.

You coughed a couple times on the ground clutching your stomach. With much pain you stood up and limped into the trees away from the scene, you didn’t want anyone to see you and say anything to Neteyam.

The truth was most Navi could hold their own but you were different. You healed, not hurt, you didn’t even like to hunt because of your sweet nature. Neteyam was drawn to your heart he said, but your weakness was becoming an issue now that war had come. You didn’t realize just how useless you really were.

After much struggle you managed to sneak back into your tent unsuspected.

You collapsed on the ground next to your sleeping mat. The tears flowed freely now that you were alone. You missed Neteyam now more than ever, wanting nothing more than for him to hold you in his arms.

With tears still running down your face you moved your netted top out of the way to see the damage. A large nasty bruise had formed along with a couple cuts. Your back ached too so you could only imagine the scratches there as well.

Sniffling you applied some salve.

Good thing Neteyam wouldn’t be back for a few days, you didn’t know what you would do if he saw your state. He would probably kill him and start another war.

Little did you know the war party had returned while you were gone..

“Yawne? There you are, I didn’t see you when I landed.”

Your eyes widened hearing Neteyams voice and the familiar flapping of the tent beads.

Quickly you wiped at your eyes and slid the salve under the blanket.

“N-Neteyam, welcome back my love.” You thank Ewya that the tent is darkened by the night.

He rushes to you and you embrace him.

“I missed you so much, couldn’t wait to get back..” he held you tightly and you did your best not to wince.

“Me too..” you released from each other and he gave you a loving kiss.

“Come, change and I’ll prepare you something to eat.” He nodded and went to remove his armor. Luckily he hadn’t seemed to notice anything was off.

He ate and talked about the successful raid, you nodded along but your mind was on the blossoming pain all over your body but especially your stomach.

“Are you alright? You’ve hardly said a word..”

“Yes, just tired is all, I was collecting herbs and other things for most of the day.”

He nodded and smiled, “then come let us sleep, I am exhausted as well.”

You nodded and followed him to the mat. You grabbed a longer top and threw it on. Come morning, you would not be able to hide it in the light so you needed to cover up, at least until he left again for the next raid.

Sleep came easy for the both of you, despite your pain, being in Neteyams arms always lulled you quickly. You hoped the morning would go smoothly. Although you rarely ever got what you wanted these days..

***************************************************

“-at is this?” Mm your dreams were beginning to fade away at the familiar voice calling out to you and bringing you back to reality.

“Y/n!” Your eyes abruptly flicked open hearing Neteyams urgent voice.

Oh great mother help me..

Your gaze focused on Neteyam who was sitting up beside you with a hand on your waist and another pulling aside your netted top.

You were an idiot to think that flimsy material could hide anything.

“What is this, what happened??” He asked again voice full of concern and seriousness.

Your eyes followed down to wear a nasty bruise had doubled In its darkening since last night.

“I-I It’s nothing teyam, I fell from a tree in a bad way is all.. I didn’t realize it had caused such a bruise..” you sat up and tried to cover up again but he wouldn’t let you.

“This looks bad, what did you fall on?” He grimaced tracing the cuts with his fingers.

“Some large rocks..” you hoped he would buy that. You never really lied to him before, you hated the feeling..

He looked you over now from head to toe and caught sight of your back.

“Your back is scratched up too… come let’s see Grandmother-“

He moves to gently pull you but you refuse, “It’s fine my love, I can apply medicine here, your grandmother is no doubt busy with warriors from yesterday…”

He looked reluctant, “but..”

“Really I’m alright” you pulled him back down and hugged him. You were actually in a lot of pain but Moat was smart and would see through your lie easily so you couldn’t go.

Neteyam pulled away and moved to grab your basket that held all your medicinal supplies.

He pulled the cover off and frowned, “I thought you picked herbs yesterday, there’s barely anything here..”

You idiot- you left your basket in the forest!

“Ah I can’t believe it, I forgot my basket in the forest..”

He raised a brow then furrrowed it, “you didn’t hit your head did you?” Suddenly he was near you again inspecting your face.

“N-no I didn’t I must’ve been just a little flustered is all”

Neteyam pulled back and looked you in the eye, “Yawne…is everything ok? You seem…strange”

“I-I” what should you say?

Luckily a familiar voice outside the tent called interrupting you.

“Bro you in there? We need to talk about the next mission, everyone’s waiting” Neteyam reluctantly pulled away giving you a wary look. You smiled hoping to ease his worries.

“I’ll be back later , go to Kiri for help at least ok?”

You nodded not meaning it and watched him leave the tent.

You let out a sigh once you were alone. Perhaps you could sneak into your mother in laws tent since everyone would be at the meeting. She would have herbs. At least that way Neteyam would assume you went to Kiri.

Slowly you stood up and readjusted your clothing, not that it really covered anything..

Luckily when you exited the tent, everyone was either at the meeting or busy preparing for the next raid.

You went behind the tents as swiftly as you could and finally arrived at your destination.

You called out but just as you suspected they were gone.

You felt guilty basically stealing but you didn’t really have many options.

You gathered what you needed and left, you nearly let out a scream when you bumped into the large body of your father in law.

“Woah easy- y/n?” You quickly schooled your shock with an uneasy smile. “I came to ask to borrow some herbs but no one was here.. I hope you don’t mind?”

Jake shook his head, “of course not, go crazy” he reached beside the door grabbing a map before moving to leave again when he happened to catch sight of the bruise.

“What happened?” He asked concerned.

“O-oh nothing really, I just had a bad fall..”

He eyed your face for a moment before nodding

“That looks bad, make sure you get that looked at ok?”

“I will” you smiled and sighed as he left the tent.

Luckily on your way back you didn’t run into anyone.

***************************************************

“Alright dismissed” warriors turned to prepare for the next raid and Neteyam was about to follow them when his father held him back.

“Wait there’s something I wanted to talk to you about.”

“What is it?”

Jake looked a bit uneasy but continued on, “it’s about y/n.”

Neteyam perked up at this, “Why? did something happen?”

“I saw her just now in our tent getting herbs, she was…skittish and I saw really nasty looking bruise.”

Neteyam nodded, “She fell in the forest…on some rocks she said...”

“She’s one of the best climbers in the clan Neteyam”

“I know this…do…do you think she was lying?” He furrowed his brows. His mate never lied to him before. Even saying it out loud sounded weird.

Jake tilted his head, “I’m not saying that but…” Neteyam nodded as if coming to a decision.

“Yeah ok… I’ll talk to her”. He thanked his father and went about his duties. He was definitely going to have a talk when he got home.

****************************************************

You had been resting in your tent for most of the day when you realized you had nothing prepared for dinner. Neteyam mentioned he would stay a couple nights so it was only right he had a nice hot meal while he was here.

Sighing you stood up and exited the tent. You could at least catch a couple fish for the both of you.

You grabbed your fishing net and made your way towards the river.

It was evening time but there were a few Navi around.

Good, you didn’t want to be alone..

Throughout the next hour you kept glancing around but luckily you hadn’t seen him so far.

It was dark now everyone had mostly gone so you decided to call it quits as well. you managed to catch a couple small fish but just needed to check your last net tied to the tree.

Slowly so not to aggravate your wounds you climbed ontop of a giant rock. This net was along the river edge but from higher up.

Due to the weather getting colder it was better not to get into the water.

You kneeled on the rock and bent down to pull up your net.

The sudden screech of an Ikran roared behind you. It happened within seconds, you turned only to have a wing smack into you propelling you forward.

You gasped then were suddenly choking and spluttering on freezing water.

You whipped your head around to face the Ikran. You mentally screamed realizing it was HIS Ikran. And the devil in question laughter heartily from the tree line. He whistled and his Ikran flew towards him.

You didn’t wait to see what he would do next, you scrambled out of the river shivering and ran back as fast as you could.

Cold so cold, the night wind only made it that much worse.

Your teeth chattered violently. Hot tears pouring down your cheeks.

You slammed the tent flap open and clambered inside.

“Y/n?” Neteyam sprung up from his sitting position and practically sprinted to you.

Oh great mother not now! You thought he would be out still with the warriors!

“Y/n?! What happened?? why are you soaking wet?!” Neteyam grabbed your shoulders looking you up and down.

“I-I” your voice came out in a cold stutter. The temperature settling in deep into your body.

Neteyam pulled you closer to the fire and helped you remove your wet things before handing you a woven blanket.

“Yawne please, tell me what happened” Neteyam pulled you closer to him, hoping his body heat would help.

He wiped away your tears but they flowed like an endless river.

“I-I....I fell in the river.” Neteyam tensed, he could see your hesitation and how you wouldn’t meet your eyes.

“And how did that happen hm? What aren’t you telling me?” His voice was more firm now.

Should you tell him? But you didn’t want to cause trouble and disturb the alliance. It was your fault you were weak…

“Y/n!” You gasped, Neteyam hardly if ever raised his voice at you.

You couldn’t even answer as your sobs and distress grew louder. Now the love of your life was angry with you. Why could you never do anything right?!

Neteyam softened completely seeing your distress, “Alright alright, mawye my love, it’s alright, mawye…I’m sorry, please don’t cry” he hugged you tightly, bringing your head to his chest. He held you like that soothingly stroking your back until your sobs quieted down.

You slowly pulled away still not meeting his eyes.

Neteyam brought a finger to your chin and slowly pushed it up.

His heart broke seeing the puffiness. He followed the finger to your cheek and splayed them out. You leaned into his warmth.

“Whatever it is, you know I am with you my love.”

You let out a shakey breathe. “I know…” you whispered brokingly.

“And I will always be there for you… no matter what it is but I can’t help if I don’t know what is wrong.”

You reached up to hold the hand caressing your face. “I am always causing you trouble Neteyam.”

He blinked at this, “what?”

“I’m always causing you trouble…I don’t want to burden you…”

Neteyams brows furrowed, “Yes you are trouble but you are never a burden to me- where is this coming from?” He asked still confused.

“I’m weak Neteyam..”

“Y/n you’re not-“

You gulped and said it again, “I am weak. You shouldn’t have to protect me, I should be able to defend myself like everyone else but I just…I’m not a fighter Neteyam.. it’s never been an issue but now…” you sniffled trying not to break down again. “I-I didn’t want to bother you with this… you have way more important matters- I just- it’s getting worse and he isn’t stopping I-“ you were babbling out what you could, your mate trying to piece everything together but once he heard the word “he” he froze.

The wheels started turning in Neteyams mind, he didn’t know what he thought actually happened to you but the second he realized it was another person who hurt you a hot surge of anger coursed through him.

The grip on your face tightened but not painfully. “Someone did this to you? His eyes motioned to your bruises, voice dangerously calm but brimming with unleashed rage. He kept calm for your sake.

You nodded looking away in shame. Well you tried but he brought your face back to his glowing eyes.

“Tell me”

You bit your lip nervously.

“Tell me who dared to lay a hand on my mate…”

You hesitated, “I… I’m afraid it will damage war relations…”

Neteyam held back a snarl. So it was one of the other clans men then..

“Tell me”

You were about to protest again but Neteyams eyes made you pause. They held so much emotion. Love, anger, but most importantly in this moment they promised you safety.

With a deep breathe you closed your eyes then opened them again, “…Tu’Mey…”

Neteyam clenched his fist to keep himself from bursting just quite yet.

“Listen carefully y/n” you nodded.

“You will tell me everything and leave nothing out do you understand?” His tone left no room for arguing.

So you listened and told him everything.

And when you finally finished, you were taken aback at the speed Neteyam removed his hand from you. In all of 3 seconds he had grabbed his knife and ax and stormed to the door.

“N-Neteyam!”

“Stay here Mate” before you could protest he was gone.

You slumped down in a heap. Oh great mother what would happen now?!

Part 2

************************************************

Thanks for reading! Part 2 is up now🥰

[bekolxeram]

I'm usually very block happy, but sometimes a couple of hot takes from the opposite side of the fandom manage to slip through. I'm no saint, I admit I do get quite worked up at first, but after some time, I realize they give me new perspectives to scenes I've watched countless times and discover things I didn't pick up before. So this one is for all of you, staunch Tommy haters, thank you for enriching my viewing experience.

In 7x04, when Tommy goes to Buck's loft to talk things out, this line gives some people the ick, because it echoes what Taylor said in 5x05. In that episode, Buck thought his team was off because they blamed him for Chimney leaving. He talked to Taylor about it, she shared her own experience with her boss being sulky around her, and it turned out her boss was just in a lot of physical pain, she ended the conversation with "maybe not everything is about you". While what she said was absolutely right, and she made an effort to make Buck feel appreciated at the end of the episode, but I can also see Buck not feeling supported emotionally at the time the conversation occurred. In a fashion true to her profession, Taylor delivered it in a very blunt, direct and advisory way. Her being right did not cancel out Buck feeling insecure about everyone acting weird around him and him not knowing why.

What Tommy says here though, is in a a completely different context.

Before all of this, Tommy has already reassured Buck that he's not trying to replace him, that his place in Eddie and Christopher's life is irreplaceable.

Look at Buck's smile, he's apparently in a better mood than before. It's like a weight has been lifted off his shoulders.

So going in this next part, Buck is more receptive to what he frankly needs to hear: Eddie isn't hanging out with Tommy because Buck did something wrong, he just enjoys Tommy's company.

We've witnessed Buck's growth over 7 seasons, now he can recognize that getting jealous easily is one of his character flaws, he tends to overthink and make other's action personal when he's feeling insecure in a relationship. He's telling Tommy this probably to signal that he understands he messed up and he understands what he did wrong. He never expected Tommy to validate his feelings.

But Tommy does empathize with his predicament.

Buck doesn't understand what Tommy, the cool, confident (and hot) pilot would be jealous over. And he almost can't believe Tommy gets what he's been feeling.

Tommy tells Buck that he's envious of the ride-or-die familial bonds within the 118 nowadays, as if he didn't also put his career and life in danger just to save Athena and Bobby (probably Hen's career as well), after one phone call from Chimney.

Now it's Buck's turn to reassure Tommy.

Another hot take I've seen from the other side goes like "if Tommy was nicer to Hen and Chimney back in the days, he wouldn't have to be jealous over what the 118 has now". You know what? Judging by Tommy's face here, he probably would agree. This is not the face of a man who is proud of what he did. This is the face of a man who is burdened by guilt and regret, this is a man haunted by his past, this is a man who doesn't think he deserves the praise.

Buck even cites fake mouth static as an example of Tommy's effort in aiding the 118's clandestine rescue mission, and they naturally fall into a flirty dynamic. I have no explanation for that, except, your honor, this is exhibit A against the "no chemistry" allegation.

Buck then spells it all out for Tommy that he also put everything on the line just for the 118, without hesitation. Tommy looks like he still has a hard time accepting it as an act worthy of redemption for his past behavior.

We've all made mistakes, and we all know we can't go back to the past and change what we did, so the best way forward is to change ourselves and be better. Judging by Tommy's "and [Gerrard] didn't make me a better person" line in 7x10, he quite possibly reflected on this a lot. Yet, sometimes you still can't help but doubt yourself over if you've learned enough from your past, if you're a good enough person now. I can't imagine how good it feels hearing Buck say out loud that he actually likes the person Tommy is now.

Apparently Buck likes Tommy so much that he came up with excuses just to hang out with him and get to know him.

Tommy is pleasantly surprised, because he did tell Buck to call him when he wants to go up. In fact, Buck can call him for whatever reason, Tommy accepted the Harbor tour request, there's nothing indicating that he would feel weird just hanging out with Buck. Tommy just doesn't know how much of a overthinker and bi disaster Buck truly is yet, but that's the story for another time.

Buck and Tommy really don't know much, if anything, about each other at this stage, as you can see in 7x05, but they're already validating each other's feelings. We've seen Buck get his feelings ignored, hurt, dismissed and kind of fetishized for 6 seasons, now this is something he's been looking for the whole time, for someone to understand what he's going through. At the same time, this interaction must also be quite freeing for Tommy, who's been haunted by demons from his own past.

[mama2bears]

Starting Over Again - Chapter 2

Pairings: Tyler Owens/F. Reader

Warnings: Mentions of abuse, a few cuss words, fear

Back to Chapter 1

Chapter Two

“What's the plan for today?” Lily asked as she joined Tyler and Boone at the table, waiting to order their breakfast.

“I am going down to Wichita Falls to pick up the new recruit,” Tyler said. “Dexter and Dani are coming in today. Dexter said it looks like we might be getting a big outbreak tomorrow about three hours north of here, outside of Oklahoma City.”

“Are we packing up and moving north then?” Boone asked.

Tyler nodded, “Why don't you and Lily get us packed up and meet Dexter and Dani at the hotel outside of El Reno. I'll head down to the bus station and meet you there tonight with the new recruit.”

Lily and Boone agreed to the plan and the group finished their breakfast and prepared for their day.

* * * * *

You stared out of the bus window as it neared Wichita Falls. A million thoughts were running though your head. Did Lee file charges against you? Was he looking for you? Could he find you here?

“Next stop, Wichita Falls, Texas.” The driver announced as the bus turned into the station.

You picked up the small grocery sized bag next to you that had two shirts and two pants in it, a gift from the librarian's daughter as she dropped you off at the Knoxville bus station. It was only yesterday, but it seemed like forever.

As the bus stopped and the doors opened you stood slowly, your body still sore from the many beatings, the last was only three days ago. You put your hand to your face and feel your swollen check and split lip. You know you look a mess and for a brief moment, you wonder what your new boss was going to say. You only hoped he didn't ask too many questions.

You step off the bus to a bright sunny day. A few people got on, but you were the only one getting off on this stop. You scan the parking lot, wondering if this Tyler Owens would remember to come pick you up. Maybe he figured you were going to be too much of a burden and went with someone else instead.

Then you spotted it.

A red Dodge Ram that was obviously customized to withstand a tornado. Next to it stood a man in a white cowboy hat, flannel shirt, jeans and boots. He looked more cowboy then storm chaser.

You take a deep breath and force a smile on your face as you head towards him.

“Hey, you must be Y/N.” He smiled brightly and extended his hand. His smile faded when he noticed the bruises.

“Hi, Tyler?” You shook his hand.

“That would be me. I am glad we are done with the Mr. Owens stuff.” He offered her a smile but concern was etched on his face, “What happened?” he asked softly.

You looked at him fearful for a moment before responding, “The reason I left Tennessee.”

He eyed you and the small bag of clothes in your hand, “Is that all you brought with you?” he asked.

You nodded, “Not much, but I am here and ready to work.”

Tyler opened the door of the truck and held it for you. You smiled softly and carefully got in, unable to hide the grimace of pain as you pulled yourself into the truck.

Tyler closed the door and got in the drivers side. He sat there for a moment, looking at you with a clenched jaw. “He know where you are now?”

You shook your head, “No, and I don't want him to. Is that a problem?”

“Nope,” Tyler shook his head and starting the truck, “If he shows up here it won't be a warm welcome for him.”

You smile gratefully and settle down for the ride.

“It's about two hours drive to the hotel.” he told you, “Looks like a big outbreak is possible tomorrow near Oklahoma City, the team is meeting up there and settling into a hotel for the night. You hungry?” he asked.

“Kinda.” You shrug. Truth was, you were starved, but you didn't want to be any more of a burden then you already were.

He smiled at you and nodded, turning on the radio. He had a million questions, but for now, he figured you weren't ready to answer them.

* * * * *

Lee was furious. He stomped in front of the police station. “Why the hell can't you arrest her for theft!” He yelled! “She took my wallet, my truck and $500 from my bank account!”

“Sir, she is your wife. She has a right to half of everything. Even if her name isn't on it. She has the right to use your truck, which we found safe in a parking lot along with your wallet and everything in it. She has a right to at least some of the money in the account. Legally, we can't do anything about it.”

“Well, can't I at least report her missing? She is missing after all!” Lee stated.

“We will look into it, but if she left on her own free will, there is nothing we can do.” the officer stated. “I'll take down some information and we will let you know if we find out anything different.”

“I'll find her myself!” Lee sputtered before storming away. He would find her, and she would pay, along with whoever was helping her.

* * * * *

Tyler pulled into a small roadside diner, “This place has some really great food.” He smiled at you.

“Good,” you give him a small smile back as you both exit the truck. Like a true gentleman, he holds the door for you entering the diner.

As you take a seat in a corner booth you pick up a menu from the table. “They have amazing meatloaf! Burgers are really good too,” he stated, “The team stops here often when we are chasing out this way.”

“Good afternoon. What can I get you two to drink?” The waitress asks, eyeing your bruises and Tyler suspiciously. She was familiar with Tyler and the Tornado Wranglers and was certain they had nothing to do with how you looked, but she was curious as to what the story was.

“Sweet Tea.” Tyler said.

“Same.” You give her a smile.

“Coming right up.” The waitress stated.

“So, I was thinking, “ Tyler stated, “Let's stop at the store and get you a few things, first of all, a phone.”

“I can't afford a phone right now. I think I have enough for the hotel room though, if not, maybe I can just crash in the truck?”

“Don't worry about the room. The team handles our hotel rooms when we are chasing. We get double bed rooms and bunk up.” he told her, “but you have to have a phone, it's just, not safe without one. It's your connection to the team and ours to you. It's your warning system when a tornado is near.”

You nod, “I understand, I just don't know if a phone is affordable right now., but I do need to pick up a few items.”

Tyler looks down at your flip flops and grins, “Yes, like a decent pair of shoes.”

You offer him a small smile as your eyes meet his. You didn't trust him, but you wanted to. His voice was kind and gentle, his smile lit up the room, and those sea green eyes of his were full of kindness. He had a way of making you feel comfortable.

“What is the pay like?” you asked, something you probably should have done before accepting the job, but all that mattered at the moment was that you got out of Tennessee.

“Pay?” Tyler asked, “Um..what pay?” he cracked a grin at your horrified face. “I am just kidding...” he paused as the waitress approached the table with your drinks.

“Ready to order?” she asked.

Tyler gave you a look, “Ready?”

“Meatloaf with mash potatoes and green beans.” You looked at Tyler, half expecting him to be angry. It had been several years since you were able to order for yourself.

He smiled, “I'll have the meatloaf too, but with baked potato and pintos.”

The waitress wrote down the order and headed back to the kitchen.

“Now, where were we?” he questioned, “oh yes, the pay.” he flashed you a smile. “Like I said, rooms are part of the pay. Food, we sometimes pay for our self and sometimes we just pick up meals for the team. When we are chasing Dani normally handles all the food. She is head of our merchandise.”

“Merchandise?” you question.

“Yeah, we get paid when we submit footage to a weather station. National Weather Service also pays us for the time we are out chasing. Dani and Dexter, he's one of our scientists on the team, they sell merchandise out of the RV and we use those funds to help feed the storm chasers and people effected by the tornadoes.”

“Oh, that's really nice that you guys help each other out and the victims.”

Tyler smiled, “That's what we do. We're a family here.”

“So is the pay we get from chasing split or a set amount?” you question.

“We split it. With the funds we get from the YouTube channel along with the National Weather Service and any footage we sell, you are probably looking at around $2500 a month each.”

“Wait..YouTube channel?” you question, fear gripping you.

“Yeah, The Tornado Wranglers! Have you seen us?”

“Um, no.” you shake your head, “Listen, I don't want my name and face out there...”

Tyler looked at you full of concern. “I understand,” he said softly, “It won't be a problem. Boone is our tech guy and is in charge of the YouTube channel. I'll make sure he knows not to get you in any of the content we load, okay?”

“Thank you.” you give him your best smile.

“Now, that we got the pay and hotel business out of the way,” Tyler said, “Let's talk about getting you a phone and some clothes and things.”

“I'll get what I can...” you started, but Tyler reached for your hand. You jumped out of instinct and quickly pulled away.

“Sorry,” he pulled his hands back, “Let me help you, Y/N.” he said softly. “We are a family now. We are here for you, the whole team, okay?”

You nod, “Thank you. I really appreciate that. I am sorry, it's just...well I am not used to this. For the last five years I have had to walk on egg shells and ask permission for everything. It's going to take some getting used to, being free again.”

Tyler gazed at you with his green eyes. 'God, she is beautiful he thought. Even with the bruises, he saw your beauty. The way your hair fell around your face, the kindness and sense of adventure hidden in your eyes, the soft smile that dared to spread across your lips.'

His eyes locked on yours and you saw worry and concern flash across his face, “Y/N, let me help you, okay?” he said gently. “You need the phone for the job. We got to have a way to communicate if we get separated. We got to be able to get weather warnings.”

“Okay.” you nod nervously, suddenly feeling uncomfortable with the eye to eye contact.“Can I...I mean..I...um, I am going to the bathroom, okay?” You ask nervously. You knew it was okay, but it was just a habit you had gotten into. With Lee, you couldn't move without permission.

Tyler gave you a soft smile, “You're safe here, you know.” he said softly.

You gave him a small smile and headed off towards the restrooms.

He watched you walk away, vowing to beat the shit out of whoever hurt you if he got the chance. Taking out his phone he called Lily.

“Yo, what's up, Ty?” she answered.

“Listen, I picked up Y/N. She...um....well, she has had it rough. Someone was beating her. I don't know who, I don't want to press.”

“Poor girl,” Lily said softly, “No wonder she was in such a hurry for this job.”

“Did you guys get the hotel rooms yet?” he asked.

“Yeah, Dani and I just finished putting our stuff in. Dexter and Boone are bunking together...I guess that leaves you and the new girl.”

“No,” Tyler shook his head, “I don't think she'd feel comfortable with that, and I can't say that I blame her. Can you get a fourth room?”

“Sure, Boss. I'll go add a room on for us.”

“Thanks,” Tyler said, “We'll be there in a few hours. I am stopping by Walmart and picking up a phone for her and letting her get some things she needs.”

“See you soon,” Lily ended the call.

* * * * *

You stood in the bathroom just staring at yourself in the mirror. No wonder people looked at you. Some of the older bruises were faded, but your lip was swollen as was your cheek. You had a dark bruise across your neck and some down your arms. Your hair looked a mess. And that was just what people could see.

You washed your face off with cool water and ran your hand though your hair. So much had happened in the past twenty four hours. It all seemed like a whirlwind and you didn't know what was going to happen next. What you did know, was that there was something about Tyler. He was the first man in a long time that you almost felt comfortable around. His voice was kind and gentle when he spoke to you. His eyes were full of kindness and concern. You almost felt safe with him. Almost.

It was true, you felt more at peace here, being far away from Lee, however, fear still held a grip on you. Would he be able to find you? Would Tyler and the team accept you? Where were you going to stay when the job was over and everyone went back home?

“One thing at a time,” you told yourself before heading back to the table.

You arrived just as Tyler was putting the phone down.

“You okay?” he asked as you sat down.

“I will be.” You offered him a smile.

Just then the waitress arrived with your food. You thank her and begin to eat.

“The team has rooms for us,” Tyler said between bites, “Like I said, we normally bunk together, but as it pans out, it would have left you and me sharing a room.”

You look at him a bit uneasy.

“Don't worry,” he added, “I asked Lily to get us an extra room. Our team has a total of six members, including you.” he stated.

You nod, thankful to not have to be sharing a room with him, or anyone else for that matter. Not right now. Not yet.

“There's Lily, she's our drone operator. Then Boone, he's the tech guy I told you about. Dani is the one I told you about that sells our merch and Dexter is the scientist. This is probably going to be Dexter's last year with us, he is looking to move to a nice sunny beach somewhere.” Tyler smiled, “That's another reason I was looking for someone else. Kate and Javi were two other members and they are starting a family, so you won't see much of them. Javi might pop in from time to time, but it's just the six of us right now.”

You nod, knowing there would be no way you were going to remember all of this, but you would do your best to remember everyone's names and positions. You only hoped that they liked you and you like them. You hoped this was the brand new start you were hoping for.

* * * * *

An hour later Tyler was standing in front of the store working on setting up a phone he had brought for you. You were quickly making your way though the aisles picking up only what was needed for the first few days...toothbrush and paste, brush, deodorant, bubble bath, socks, shoes, underwear and bra, a pair of pajamas, and a few more changes of clothes.

“Hey, Ty, we have a slight problem,” a text came across Tyler's phone from Lily.

He dialed her number, “What's up Lily?” he asked.

“I tried to get another room, but they are booked. I even asked some of the other chasers if they were willing to bunk up and free up a room. None are, their rooms are already packed as it is and no one wants to bunk with another team.”

Tyler sighed, “Well, I can't say that I blame them. Okay, it's no problem. I'll just sleep in the truck for a few nights.”

“You sure, I mean, maybe Dani and I could double up in a bed and give the second bed to Y/N?” Lily asked.

“No, there's no need for that. Tomorrow looks to be an action packed day and we all need our best nights rest. I've slept in the truck just fine before. Let everyone have their own bed.”

“Your choice,” Lily gave in, “I am sorry, Boss. I tried. I wasn't thinking about the new member being a woman. I should have asked about the fourth room before.”

Tyler smiled seeing you approaching the check out. He was glad to be getting ready to hit the road again. He was never one for shopping, in fact, he hated it. He would rather face an EF5 tornado then to go shopping.

“It's okay Lily. No worries. We're getting ready to leave the store now and will be there soon.”

“Hey, is that all you need right now?” Tyler asked from behind you, making you jump.

“Yeah, this will do at least for a few days. Really, all I want is to get cleaned up and be in a soft bed.”

“Well, let's get going then.” Tyler stuck his card in the machine before you could pull any cash out of your pocket.

“What are you doing?” you asked as he finished paying for the stuff you picked out.

He smiled softly at her, “Making sure my newest team member is taken care of.” he handed you the phone. “It's all set up, I've added my number in there and the number of everyone on the team. I've set it up to issue weather alerts for our current location and I've sent your number to the team member's phones.

“Thanks Tyler,” you smile at him as he picks up your bags and carries them towards the truck.

Why does this feel so different with him? You were actually beginning to feel comfortable around him, at ease even. It was as if you had known him your whole life and didn't just met him a few hours ago.

Tyler Owens kinda felt like home to you. A home that you hadn't known in a very very long time.

********

Chapter 3

*********

Tag List

@itsdesiree86 @sarah-bear706318 @darksparklesficrecs

[mysterycitrus]

This is so stupid but I was wondering if you might have any Dick and Roy meta? I've always loved your meta posts about the relationships between the Fab Five and different characters and lately, I've been seeing a lot of those posts where people splice certain comic pannels with poems/sayings/inspirational quotes and things that match and I've been wanting to have more in-depth ideas of the relationship between Dick and Roy because they're just so interesting but I don't have the brains to come up with anything myself

when i think about dick grayson and roy harper i think about the trope king + lionheart — a burdened hero, and their loyal protector — and how they switch roles with each other. like two standout dickroy books are probably old friends, new enemies and outsiders (2003), and while they’re both initiated with roy reaching out to dick for help, his motivations are very different. i think that dynamic, and how they don’t fit solely into one role, is part of why i enjoy reading about them so much.

in old friends, roy is the king — he’s trying to track down chesire and find lian, and isn’t initially honest about his intentions. he’s struggling with his decisions, and his faith in himself. dick acts as the moral support, his backup, and also calls him out on his actions.

but their relationship is still loving. there’s a solid foundation of trust that makes dick want to support roy and protect his daughter, to the point that he and jade nguyen show a (very) begrudging respect to each other.

in outsiders, dick is the king — donna has just died, bludhaven is going to shit, and roy knows that he’s spiralling. roy is the solid support who convinces dick to lead a new team because he knows dick hurts himself through isolation. they’re both grieving donna and the loss of their team, but roy forces dick to reconnect again. he forces dick to care.

despite being the leader of the outsiders, dick is uncompromising in his loyalty in roy. he tells people to leave if they don’t accept roy’s authority in the team. after roy is shot, dick takes the same action as roy in the first issue — he brute forces his way into getting roy out of the spiral. he holds a gun to roy’s head and tells him to take it.

im a huge sucker for friends to lovers, but what i really love is two competent people with absolute faith in each other. i dislike the idea that bat-characters are like….. absurdly op and everyone is just in awe of them all the time, but dick’s reputation means that trusting someone the way he trusts roy is important. he watched his teammates die, he watched his sister die to save his life, and he still trusts roy to be there. roy historically has a bit of an inferiority complex about working with dick, but dick does not reciprocate. dick knows roy will be there when it counts.

there’s a particular kind of love that comes from mourning the same person during one of the worst times of your life.

the fact that the early tragedies in their lives are so similar, that they lost family and an idea of place at similar ages, were mentored by mortal men who wanted to do good, but still ended up so close but so different is really really interesting to me. u get to outsiders, and they really know each other in a really intense way.

truly like…. i would fall on ur sword because i trust u not to land the killing blow. to finish — something something gay people

[megalony]

A Burden On You

This is an Evan Buckley imagine, based on an anon request. I hope you will all like it, any feedback is always lovely.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii  @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme

911 Masterlist

Summary: (Y/n) has a chronic illness and begins to worry that she may be relying on Evan too much. When she has an accident at home, she's too nervous to tell him or ask for help.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Happy birthday," A soft grin lit up (Y/n)'s face and she held out the navy blue and silver striped bag in her hand towards Eddie.

She could feel Evan's arms curve around her waist and a shiver flooded down her spine when he tilted his head to the side and kissed her temple. His fingertips ran up and down her hips and his chest pressed down into her back and shoulders, keeping her pinned against his front.

They both watched Eddie spin on his heels and a glimmer of shock fluttered in his eyes while he formed a bright smile. He happily took the present and leaned to the left to place it down on the table before he reached out for them both. He was careful. He always was when he was around (Y/n), just like the rest of the team. Eddie wanted to hug her but he never knew if he might hurt her or cause her some discomfort.

(Y/n) looped her arms around his shoulders, grinning wider when she became wedged in between them both like they were sardines squashed into a tin.

"You made it. How are you?"

"Good, we're good. I've missed you all, and Chris." (Y/n) patted his shoulder before she sank back into Evan's chest and reached down to hold his wrists that were around her waist.

She hadn't seen anyone from the station in weeks and it always made (Y/n) feel bad when she didn't get to see them or have a catch up.

"He's missed you too."

(Y/n) didn't always like socialising. It wasn't easy to be around people whenever she was in the middle of a flare up. She had fibromyalgia. Chronic pains that affected her in hundreds of different ways; little pains that Evan would barely bat an eyelid at, crippled (Y/n) down in agony. Illnesses flared up her pains and made her feel faint. Cold weather sank into her bones and made her stiff muscles even worse. Headaches felt like hammers tapping away at her head until she was sure her skull was caved in.

When her condition flared, it worsened (Y/n)'s sleep and she had a lot of trouble sleeping. She couldn't usually stay asleep for too long which led her to be tired during the days and if she slept for too long, her muscles seized up and it made walking or bending or any general movement almost impossible.

She had been all ready and lined up to attend the station Christmas party until she has a fall. She had been dosed up on painkillers and on the day of the party, (Y/n) could barely walk. Her leg had shooting pains radiating from her hip to her foot and her leg had seized up for days.

"Where is he?" Evan glanced his eyes around the station while he rested his chin on top of (Y/n)'s head and began swaying them from side to side.

He wanted to see Chris but he couldn't spot him anywhere in the station so far.

They had all decided that since Hen and Bobby were on shift today, they would throw Eddie a big party here at the station. Then at least everyone could be here to celebrate and it was a relaxed atmosphere and there was much more space to party.

"Helping Bobby put the candles on the cake. Which reminds me, I've got a bone to pick with you." Eddie pointed his finger at Evan who was trying his best not to grin.

He squeezed (Y/n)'s hip lightly when she leaned her cheek against his neck. He didn't have to look down to know she was grinning because she knew exactly what Evan had done to wind Eddie up. He couldn't simply turn up to the party and give Eddie a present, Evan had to play some sort of trick on him or mess him about in some way. He had had a quiet word with Chris yesterday ready to wind Eddie up.

"Oh?"

"Thanks for telling him I've just turned forty- which I haven't and you know it. He's been running round telling everyone he can't fit enough candles on my cake."

Eddie hadn't been best pleased this morning when Chris woke him up to wish him a happy birthday and suddenly exclaimed that he was forty. It didn't take long for Eddie to work out where Chris had learned that from. But once they arrived here, Chris gave a handful of candles to Bobby and began telling people he didn't have enough candles for how old his dad was. Eddie wasn't near forty yet, he had a decade to go before he would be forty.

"You're welcome old man."

"Buck we're the same age." The smile slipped from Eddie's face as he planted his hands down on his hips and shook his head.

"I'll go grab us some drinks," Evan kept his voice quiet and hovered his lips over the shell of (Y/n)'s ear. He grinned, brushing his nose against her skin as his grin morphed into a smirk when he knew he had riled Eddie up. He let his lips wander down to (Y/n)'s cheek where he pressed another kiss before he unravelled himself from around her and moved towards the stairs.

"He's just trying to wind you up, don't listen to him." (Y/n) patted Eddie's shoulder before she left him to look through his presents that were steadily piling up on the table.

(Y/n) fluttered around the station floor for a little while and had a quick chat with Hen before she moved towards the stairs. She knew Chris would be up there somewhere and she wanted to see and talk to him. It had been two weeks since Chris had been round to stay with her and Evan and (Y/n) was starting to miss him. He was like their nephew, they were his main babysitters and he regarded them as his aunt and uncle.

It took a while to get herself up the stairs. It didn't matter that her pain was on a very good level today, she still felt stiff today and her legs were barely under her control.

Exercise was one of the main things that helped her condition.

And with Evan being hooked on his training and exercise to help with his job, it was something they did together. Evan would go on runs and do hard training in the morning, but when he wasn't at work, he would train in the afternoon with (Y/n) for a while. They went on a lot of walks as well.

(Y/n) needed to keep moving, if she sat or laid down for too long, her muscles would start to seize up and her pain scale would increase. She was usually on the go from the moment she got up until the moment she went to bed. It didn't matter how slow (Y/n) moved or how little she managed to get done in a day, she was always up and about.

Her eyes found Evan before they scouted round and found Chris. While Chris was trying to fit as many candles on the chocolate cake Bobby made as possible, Evan was stood over near the pool table close by the fire pole.

He had two drinks in hand and his hips were slouched back against the pool table that wasn't being used.

A smile pulled at (Y/n)'s lips as she advanced towards him, she could draw Evan into a game of pool while Chris was busy in the kitchen. He loved a game and whenever he lost, especially to (Y/n), he would get fired up and they would keep going until he won at least one round. And (Y/n) was feeling good tonight, she was having a good day and felt able to try and beat Evan in a game or two.

She advanced towards him and tried to see who he was with. (Y/n) didn't recognise her. She was probably one of the new recruits, Evan said they'd had quite a few new recruits in and out of the station in the last week or so.

Evan tried to force himself to smile as he leaned his hips a little further back into the pool table until he was almost sitting on it.

This was the part of parties he didn't like; getting dragged into conversations with people he'd rather not talk to. And Evan was programmed to be kind and polite, it was in his nature so he didn't find it easy to walk away or find excuses to leave.

He didn't want to be talking to Lucy.

She wasn't someone Evan was very fond of, she was very full of herself and she didn't fit well with the team. She seemed to want to do things her own way and work on her own rather than work with them all as a team. And the last time they had all been out to a club after work, Lucy had tried to kiss him.

That night had been forgotten. Evan had politely declined and hurried away as fast as he could, and from then onwards, Evan did his best to avoid Lucy. They both tried to be polite and pretend it didn't happen but he didn't want to be around her when she always tried to get a bit too close to him and she didn't understand he didn't want to be around her like this.

"So, you've brought you're girlfriend this time?" Lucy took a long sip of her beer and leaned her right arm out on the balcony rail. The way she tilted her head to the side and smiled made Evan shiver uneasily.

"(Y/n) always comes with me to the station parties." Evan's lips quirked into a dazed, slightly confused smile.

Why was she so surprised? This was a party and families and partners were always invited to tag along. And this party was for Eddie. He was Evan's best friend and therefore he was close to (Y/n). Of course she would be here to see Eddie and celebrate with everyone.

"You didn't bring her to the Christmas party, did you?"

"No, she wasn't very well."

Evan bit the corner of his lip and looked down at his feet. Why was she doing this? Where was she going with this conversation?

Christmas had been difficult for everyone. They had numerous emergencies, all of them had been called in for extra shifts at one point or another. Chris hadn't been very well, he had a bad chest infection which meant Eddie was stressed. And then (Y/n)'s condition had flared up and she could barely walk so Evan had been anxious and desperate to stay home with her to look after her.

He turned up for an hour at the Christmas party, then he went home to stay with (Y/n). It felt better to be at home than trying to party and have a good time when he wasn't feeling the festive mood.

"Oh, Hen mentioned she has fibromyalgia. Isn't that a bit, annoying, for you?"

"I beg your pardon?"

Something dangerous burned in Evan's eyes and his smile turned into a broken grimace as he looked down at her. Whatever she was thinking, she best not say it to Evan because he wasn't going to hold his tongue or mince his words here if she went down this road. He wasn't in the mood for someone to start disrespecting his partner.

And the way Lucy leaned back and shrugged her shoulders gave off such a casual vibe that made Evan feel worse. She was openly being rude and stood so normal as if she wasn't doing anything wrong.

"I just mean that you're always looking after her, you're not meant to be her carer Buck, you have a life. It makes her quite a burden on you."

A tremor rattled through (Y/n) and she turned around quickly before Evan realised she had been close enough to hear. Tears burned in her eyes but she pushed them away and coiled her arms around her waist. She needed to move; quickly. Before Evan turned or looked over his shoulder and noticed she was here. (Y/n) couldn't deal with the conversation that would follow if he knew she had just heard that.

Her eyes locked on Chris who had finished adding all the candles he had onto the chocolate cake. She made a beeline towards the kitchen and stood next to him and Bobby, leaning down to kiss his temple when he looked up at her with a grin that made her heart swell.

A single tear traced down her cheek but (Y/n) quickly swiped it away and tried to take a steady breath to control herself.

"Dad's cake."

"He's gonna love it… although I don't know how long it will take him to blow out all those candles." Her voice came out oddly steady considering how uneasy and wobbly she felt.

Was she truly a burden on Evan? (Y/n) did her best not to call him if he was at work and she wasn't well or had a problem. She always told him to go out with the guys from work or his friends even if she didn't feel well enough to join. (Y/n) pushed Evan to do things and live his life and not stop or hang around for her.

At least, that's what she thought she did.

Did she hold Evan back? Did she burden him and make him care for her too much? Was he becoming her carer instead of her partner?

Evan was a busy man, he had a very demanding job and (Y/n) would hate to be a demanding girlfriend who stole his attention and all of his free time. Maybe she needed to try and make sure she didn't rely on him as much. Maybe, if she had another flare up, it would be best to keep it from Evan and try to look after herself. He couldn't always be there to help her and do things for her or look after her; (Y/n) needed to look after herself and put less strain on Evan.

"Listen to me," Evan pushed himself up off the pool table and took a step closer until he was towering over Lucy with a menacing look and a fire burning deep within his eyes. "I don't know who gave you the right to judge, but you need to stop. Now. I'm her partner, so whether or not I look after her- which is something I have every right to do- that's none of your business."

How could she stand there and talk to him like that when she didn't know anything about him and (Y/n)?

If Evan wanted to look after (Y/n) and help her when she was ill, he had every reason and right to do that. (Y/n) never asked, Evan didn't even offer, he just looked after her because he loved her and he wanted to. Evan had a deep rooted sense of wanting to be needed and if he felt needed, he would do everything he could to look out for his family and do anything for them.

He loved (Y/n), he loved looking after her and making sure she was alright and Evan would never want (Y/n) to think she had to cope alone when he was right here.

"Don't talk about my girlfriend like that again."

Evan glared down at Lucy until she held her hands up in surrender and looked down at his chest to avoid his furious gaze.

He turned around and left her standing there before he ripped into her even further and caused a scene. The fire burning in his chest simmered down when he looked across at the kitchen and caught sight of (Y/n). She was stood with one arm around Chris in front of a cake with the most amount of candles on that Evan had ever seen.

Evan leaned over and placed the two cups down on the counter beside the cake before he wrapped an arm around (Y/n)'s waist. His arm curved around her middle so his hand could curl over her hip and he tucked his face into her neck.

He felt the way she shivered when he kissed her neck but when he looked down, his brows furrowed. She was tapping her fingers against the counter and he could see her biting down on her lower lip so much she was almost drawing blood. She was anxious about something.

His head tilted up and he pecked her jaw, nuzzling his nose against her cheek.

"Everything okay?"

"Hmm. I'm gonna record you all, Chris wants you to help him give Eddie the cake."

He muttered a quiet 'sounds good' against her jaw and began smoothing his thumb over her hip. He wasn't entirely satisfied that she was alright, it was almost as if Evan could feel the unease radiating off of her and through to him and Evan hated not knowing if something was wrong or upsetting her.

But if she told him everything was alright, Evan wouldn't push the matter. He would take her word for it.

***

Tears streaked down (Y/n)'s face as she raked her hands up and down her thighs and down over her knees. Her eyes were starting to become puffy and sore and it only made her feel worse when she couldn't seem to stop herself from sniffing and letting herself wallow and weep.

Today wasn't a good day.

She had been tired enough to oversleep this morning and while the extra sleep had done her some good, it didn't help her legs. She had woken with knees so stiff they started to throb when she tried to walk about. Pins and needles had raked up and down her left leg from her hip to her knee and had lasted until mid-afternoon.

Everything hurt. (Y/n) didn't know why today she was having a flare up, but everything ached and burned and felt like she was being cut to pieces. Banging her shin on the corner of the couch had left her a crying mess even though it was a light bash. Small pains felt like the end of the world when her fibromyalgia was playing up.

Every hour, (Y/n) had forced herself to get up and move about, just to walk around the apartment and get some movement back. She didn't go on her usual walk outside because she didn't feel up to doing it alone.

Evan was at work until lunchtime tomorrow and when he was at work, (Y/n) usually skipped her daily walk because she hated to go out alone. She knew she wasn't burdening Evan by their daily walk because he loved his exercise so it benefited both of them.

Reaching up, (Y/n) dragged her hands down her face and wiped away the tears as she tried to take a deep breath. She had been laid in bed for just over an hour and she needed to move about. She would be going to sleep soon and sleeping made her stiffness worse so she had to do another lap around the apartment before she settled for the night. (Y/n) already knew she wouldn't be sleeping well tonight, both because she was in too much pain and because Evan wouldn't be here with her.

A silent string of curse words muttered beneath her breath when she started to walk away from the bed.

Her legs were barely moving.

Her left leg had gone back to being numb and useless and her right thigh was shaking when she tried to walk. She was going to have to keep moving for a while now to reduce the pain as much as she could before she went to sleep.

(Y/n)'s left hand grabbed the handrail and her right hand glided down the wall to help ease herself down the stairs.

Sometimes she felt like a little old woman when her legs barely moved and her fingers didn't want to curl or bend or move the right way. She felt like she needed to go up and down the stairs on her bum or her hands and knees. It was utterly humiliating if she was ever at someone else's house during a flare up. Walking and hobbling around like this was bad enough when she had to do this in front of Evan.

It had taken (Y/n) a while to let Evan see her like this, she didn't want him to pity her or look at her any differently.

And he didn't. If she wasn't feeling well, he would walk behind her and hold her hands or her hips and help her up and down the stairs. He would carry her if she asked or if she just gave him that certain look. He loved carrying her around, it was his favourite thing to do.

"No-"

A gasp burned in the back of (Y/n)'s throat when her foot slipped. She barely felt her heel scrape against the lower step but she couldn't hold onto the bannister and hold her weight up to stop her from falling. The pain of her back hitting the stairs blinded her and stopped her breathing but when she slid down to the left and smashed the left side of her chest against three steps, a scream tumbled past her lips.

Her body turned into a trembling, shaking mess on the floor when she finally stopped falling and landed with a horrid slap at the bottom of the stairs.

Her arms shakily coiled into her chest but her breaths burned into another scream and she stretched her arms back out.

Her chest was on fire. It felt like she was laid on hot coals. The pain was horrendous, like a knife stabbing into her ribs. Tingling sensations shot down the base of her spine. She could barely feel her legs except for the spiking pins and needles tearing through her muscles that went right down to her heels which were thudding and felt like pins were prodding at her heels.

Tears began to pour down her face and her wet lips wobbled and bubbled as she tried to breathe but ended up gasping and crying out loudly.

Her fingers were curled into her palms and (Y/n) didn't have enough control or will power to straighten them out. She shuffled her trembling hand around to the right side of her chest beneath her bra strap.

She had broken her ribs.

(Y/n) knew they were broken without having to touch them. She had broken a few bones in her life and she knew her pain levels. Her pain was more concentrated and a lot worse than what other people experienced. Small things were amplified and things like broken bones or torn muscles felt like she had been shredded to pieces.

Inching forwards, (Y/n) tried to slide until her back was no longer wedged against the bottom step.

Moving wasn't going to be easy. She doubted it was even going to be an option right now.

(Y/n) didn't have the energy to drag herself back up the stairs that had now become her enemy.

She wasn't going to crawl into the bathroom around the corner because she couldn't be bothered to dwell in there and cry. There was no energy to try and bandage herself up and patch herself back together.

The sofa was too far away to crawl to and her phone was upstairs on the bed so she couldn't call for help.

No!

No. (Y/n) was not going to call anyone for help. She didn't want paramedics coming round to take her to hospital. She wasn't waiting all through the night in A&E only to have an X-ray and be told she could be bandaged up and sent home with stupid painkillers that never worked to take the edge off. And (Y/n) wasn't calling Maddie and having her friend and sister see her like this. It wouldn't be fair to ruin her night like that.

She couldn't call Evan.

No way could (Y/n) call Evan when he was at work. She wasn't going to panic him and drag him home and make him care for her. He would have to help her back up the stairs and patch her up and console her and (Y/n) was not going to be the burden everyone seemed to think she was. She had to look after herself, Evan wasn't here and he couldn't always come home to look after her.

It didn't matter how much she wanted Evan to come home and hug her right now, she was on her own and that was how things had to stay.

A groan tumbled past her lips when she flopped onto her right ride and heaved herself to lay facing the stairs. Her arms stretched out in front of her so they weren't cocooned to her chest and causing her anymore unnecessary pain. She did what she could to straighten her legs out and stop them from throbbing and aching as much.

Her chin tucked down into her chest and she closed her eyes, despite the tears pouring down her face that would surely flood the apartment soon.

No, (Y/n) would stay here until she felt recovered enough to get herself back upstairs into bed.

***

It took (Y/n) well over fifteen minutes to heave herself up the stairs. It seemed pointless and futile to try getting up during the night when she was throbbing and aching and still drenched in tears. (Y/n) spent the night on the floor. She knew either way she wouldn't be sleeping and she had no effort to climb up the stairs just to lay and cry in bed.

Staying on the floor was easier and let her recover her energy. It was well into the morning by the time she managed to find the will power to start her ascent up the stairs. Her knees bashed and twanged against the steps and it made her whole body shudder each time. Her fingers dug into the steps and she leaned her weight onto the wall as she sat and shuffled up.

When she was up the stairs, She crawled over to the bed and spent another five minutes trying to heave herself up.

It was surprising how quickly sleep overtook (Y/n) once she flopped onto her stomach on the bed. Her body was exhausted. Her chest was in immense agony. Her brain was on last reserves. She had spent the night laid on the floor, unable to sleep and unable to move.

She didn't know what time she managed to get into bed, just that it was late into the morning. And she didn't know how long she slept for, just that it had to of been for a while because she managed to hear the front door opening.

If (Y/n) was more herself and less drained, she would of tried to get up and meet Evan at the door or at the very least, meet him at the top of the stairs. She wanted to get up and move about and stop him from realising something had happened for her to now be in bed at lunchtime. But she was aching and broken and felt too defeated to care.

Her arms curled around Evan's shirt that had been left on the bed and she burrowed her face into his pillow, breathing in his scent to try and stay calm and drowsy. She shuffled down a little until the cover was over her shoulder and mostly hiding her whole body and head from view.

Why couldn't she just disappear?

Why was Evan with her? Why did he love her when she truly was a burden? She was to much effort. Too much hassle. Demanding. In pain. Needy. Everything was wrong with her-

"Babe… baby, where are you?" Evan's sing-song voice rang out through the apartment as he dumped his bag down by the front door and moved towards the living room.

His lips pulled into a frown when he realised the tv wasn't on and (Y/n) wasn't downstairs. He knew her shoes and keys were still by the door along with her bag so she hadn't gone out anywhere. He knew the bathroom and kitchen were empty so he headed up the stairs.

He could feel his heart racing in his chest when he looked around the bedroom. The curtains were still closed; (Y/n) always opened them as soon as she woke up. She loved to look out at the view in the morning, especially on a sunny day like this. The tv was on but it was showing the news. (Y/n) didn't watch the news; she hated it. There was a glass on the floor and juice soaked into the carpet. Clothes and pillows were thrown onto the floor.

What had she been doing?

"Sweetheart, what are you doing? What's up?" Shockwaves rattled through Evan as he moved to kneel down in front of the bed.

He laid his arms out on the bed and carefully peeled back the cover while his chin propped up on his exposed arm. He brushed his finger across (Y/n)'s cheek and swiped his thumb across her lower lip, pulling it gently until she finally opened her eyes to blearily look over at him.

Evan knew her like the back of his hand. Her sleep pattern was always troubled because like Evan struggled to switch off or stay asleep due to his hyperactiveness and his job, (Y/n) struggled due to her fibromyalgia. They had routines to stop her from being in so much pain. She never slept in, especially not this late. She was always up and moving about to keep her muscles loose and working and from seizing up.

"Tired," (Y/n) tilted her head and kissed the palm of Evan's hand which she knew tickled him because his finger twitched against her cheek.

"Couldn't you sleep?" When she shook her head, Evan moved his hand and slowly carded his fingers through her hair. "Well, do you want to get up with me? Maybe a walk will make you feel better?"

They usually had a walk after dinner. Evan knew if (Y/n) stayed in bed for much longer she would feel worse when she eventually tried to get up and he hated to see her in pain. They could have lunch and go for a walk and try to stay busy for the afternoon so she could feel better and sleep well tonight. Evan would be here tonight anyway and she slept better when he was with her, he always knew that.

"Hm."

"Well I'll go grab a shower then we can head out, sound good?" He leaned across to kiss her before he got up and started to rummage around for some fresh clothes.

(Y/n) didn't dare look at her chest when she tried to get changed. Her fingers felt a little less tense than earlier so it was easier to change her shirt but lifting her arms high had her wincing and gasping in pain. She dragged her fingers through her hair and put it up into a loose ponytail but when she dragged her numb feet towards the stairs, shudders ran through her.

What if she fell again? What if she couldn't walk down properly?

(Y/n) didn't want to go downstairs. She didn't want to take the risk and hurt herself again. She didn't want Evan to see her be so stupid and silly and fall like she did last night.

Shivers rolled through her aching muscles and her chest twinged in agony when she looked at the stairs again. Tears welled in her eyes and she suddenly moved to sit down at the top of the stairs. Shuffling down would have to do for now.

She shuffled down one step before she cried out and leaned nearer to the wall. The thumping vibration made her chest jolt and stole the air from her lungs. Her forehead slumped onto the wall and her nails dug into her knees until she was sure she was drawing blood beneath her leggings.

"Baby, you alright up there?" Evan leaned against the bottom of the bannister but his smile faded again when he realised (Y/n) was in tears.

He joggd up the stairs until he was close enough to kneel down in front of her with her knees pressed up into his chest. He smoothed his hands up and down her thighs and kissed her thigh.

"You're really having a bad day, hm? Come on, let's get you down."

(Y/n) didn't want him to help. She didn't want to ask Evan for help, but she wasn't truly asking and he wasn't being put out. The last thing she wanted was to be a burden, but was she being a burden if Evan was only offering to help her down the stairs? He helped her all the time, did that count as being annoying to him?

And she didn't want to go down the stairs on her own. Not after last night. Her body was shaking just at the thought.

(Y/n) momentairely forgot about her damaged ribs until Evan tried to slip his arms around her waist. When he helped her he usually lifted her up and sat her on his hips so he could carry her on his front. He would squeeze her thighs and kiss her neck and tell her he wasn't putting her down until she had kissed him at least a hundred times.

The moment Evan pressed his arms into her sides and placed his hands down on her back, (Y/n) cried out. It was hard not to scream and she choked on a gurgling cry when Evan tensed and froze in front of her.

"What? What did I do?" Panic surged through Evan's voice and he tried to pull back to look down at her but she wouldn't let him.

Her face tucked into his neck and her trembling arms curled around his neck to stop him from trying to move away from her. Evan gulped when he felt (Y/n) begin to whimper into his neck and her shaking broke through into him and made him rock back and forth on the stairs.

"Baby, you're scaring me."

"J-just a bad day… my chest hurts t-that's all."

He didn't believe that, but Evan wasn't going to push the subject here on the stairs. He tried to think how to get her down without touching or hurting her chest.

"Let's try get you down, tell me to stop if you need to." He moved his hands down beneath her bum and cupped the top of her thighs. He leaned his weight backwards and very slowly straightened up to keep his balance so he didn't topple them both backwards down the stairs. Once he was stood up, Evan kept his hands on her bum and turned around to start walking down.

He could still feel the way she was shaking against him and her breaths were fast and shallow against his neck. She wasn't well today and it was worrying him to no end.

(Y/n) braced her hands on his shoulders and slowly uncurled her legs from Evan's hips until she was stood on her feet again.

Her head started to spin and her breaths started to run away without her. Each breath was starting to hurt. It was like taking a proper breath made her ribs splinter and break all over again and the thought had more tears rushing down her face. But she wiped them away and turned towards the door. She needed to put her shoes on and grab her jacket.

A walk would do her some good and hopefully take some of the pain away and make it more bearable. She would grab some painkillers when they came back and dose up so she could breathe and speak and move without worrying Evan. She wasn't going to panic him any more than this.

"We're not going if you're in this much pain. What did you do, bump into the door or something, baby?"

Evan braced his hands on his hips and cocked a hip to the side when (Y/n) looked down at his arm. He knew she tended to focus on his tattoos to distract herself when she couldn't look him in the eye.

"I'm okay. I need to keep moving, let's go on a walk." (Y/n) swiped the remaining tears from her face and tried to take proper breaths to calm herself down.

Anger tore through Evan when he watched (Y/n) turn her back on him and move towards the door. She wasn't well, he could see it. He could see the way she was still breathing fast and shallow and she was shuffling rather than walking. Her legs must be stiff and him touching her chest made her cry. Something wasn't right and she wasn't telling him.

When (Y/n) leaned down to pick up her shoe, Evan saw the way she winced and moved a hand to cradle her side but even her light touch seemed to burn her and make her whimper.

He wasn't playing this game.

Evan kept his steps light and agile and the moment he stood behind (Y/n), he didn't give her chance to argue or try and ward him away.

"Evan-"

A shriek tore past (Y/n)'s lips and she leaned forward to brace her hand on the wall when she felt Evan behind her. He grabbed the hem of her shirt and yanked it up before she could stop him. He pulled it up to her shoulders and let the hem of her shirt fold over her shoulders and neck so he could see what she was trying to hide from him.

"Evan, I- I-"

"What the fuck happened to you?!" His hands hovered over her sides but he didn't dare touch her. He let her turn around in front of him and it let him see the damage more clearly. Bruising had bloomed all along her back and around the left side of her chest. Various colours ranging from black to purple to splotches of red and brown. She was a canvas that had been splattered with paint.

What had she done? What happened while he had been at work? Why on Earth didn't she call him?

A small knock to any part of (Y/n)'s body caused her immense pain so Evan couldn't imagine the agony she was going through with these kinds of bruises.

"What. Happened?" Evan held (Y/n)'s chin between his thumb and finger and tilted her head up so she had no choice but to look him in the eye. He could feel his resolve crumbling when tears started to drench down her face but he wasn't budging until she told him what had gone on here.

"I fell."

"You fell? Fell into what, baby? This is bad… Christ baby girl this is real bad." Evan crouched down in front of her and moved his hands to hold her hips. He kissed her stomach and felt a shiver tear through her abdomen before he looked around her chest. He tried to dance his fingertips along her chest as delicately as he could. Evan knew she was sensitive at the best of times but even more so when she was hurt.

He didn't want to touch her and add any more pain, but he wanted to see the extent of her damage. The way she cringed and cried out and grabbed his shoulders made Evan feel tears welling up in his own eyes.

"I think you've definitely broken a few… come on, talk to me."

(Y/n) stayed silent, rolling her lips together as she moved one hand to point towards the stairs.

"What… oh- fuck no. You fell down the stairs?" Evan pulled back up and dragged his fingers through his hair. "Why the Hell didn't you call me? Baby you've broken your ribs, you could have broken your neck why wouldn't you call me to come home? Why didn't you tell me when I came in?"

Tears traced down (Y/n)'s face before she could stop herself and her hands moved up to cover her face. She could feel each shallow breath panting into the palm of her hands and her tears soaked into her fingers. She didn't want to be doing this. She didn't want to be crying her eyes out in front of Evan like this, but she couldn't stop herself.

She couldn't seem to do anything right. All she did seemed to go wrong or make things worse and now she had panicked and upset Evan when that was the last thing she wanted to do.

"Baby why didn't you call me-"

"Because I'm not being a burden to you!"

(Y/n) dropped her hands back down before she smoothed them up and down her thighs to try and stop them from shaking and sweating. She could feel herself hiccupping through her words and her chest felt like it was shredded to pieces with each fast breath she panted.

But it was the look in Evan's eyes that made her heart drop down to the pit of her stomach.

His blue eyes seemed to turn five shades darker until they were navy blue, bordering on black. Redness swelled beneath his eyes and a sheet of crimson burned along his neck and flushed his face.

His brows furrowed and he seemed to straighten up and become taller at the same time as he took a step back.

Evan didn't understand. What had he done to give her that impression? What did he say to her out of context or in passing or without thinking that made (Y/n) wonder if she had become a burden to him? Whatever he had done, he didn't mean it. Evan never wanted her to have that kind of impression and he thought he had done everything right so she wouldn't ever think like that.

"Why would you say that?" The utter defeat in Evan's voice made a sob burn at the back of (Y/n)'s throat and she tilted her head back as if it would somehow push all the tears to the back of her head.

"Because I am."

"What did I do?" His question left her stumped. Their conversations had shifted, he was on a different track completely. "What did I say to make you think that?"

(Y/n) moved her hands and tangled her trembling fingers together, shaking her hands out to try and release some nervous energy but it only made her fingers ache. Why was Evan on that track? He had never done anything that made her feel like she was a burden to him and she had never said something like this to him before. (Y/n) would never want Evan to think that way because there was nothing he could do that would make her think bad of him. Ever.

"Evan…" Her wrist swiped beneath her eye and collected a fresh stream of tears. "Everyone sees it. T-they see how I burden you… I can't rely on you for everything and keep doing this to you."

"Who the fuck told you that?"

Her teeth clamped down on her lower lip deep enough to draw specks of blood that pooled around her tongue and made her cringe. She could barely see Evan due to the tears cascading down her face and she wasn't sure she wanted to see his reaction either.

Her head tilted back to look up at the high ceiling above them when she whispered "Eddie's party."

A gasp tumbled past her swollen lips when Evan's hands suddenly cupped her face. She didn't hear or see him move. He stood directly in front of her, close enough that (Y/n) could feel each turbulent breath that fanned past his lips and mingled with her own. She could feel his rough chest rising and falling less than a centimetre away from her own and she couldn't look anywhere but at his eyes when he tilted her head back.

His thumbs glided across her burning face just beneath her eyes and he brushed the tip of his nose against hers until her breathing hitched and her nose twitched and tickled.

"That was one person who knows nothing about us. Baby, no one else thinks like that, no one else is that warped and stupid. What she came out with doesn't matter-"

"It does! Evan you… you shouldn't have to be my carer-"

"The only thing that matters here is us. If I tell you I wanna look after you then I will and no one can say shit about it. You're not making me do anything. If I wanna carry you up and down those stairs for the rest of my life, I'll do it. If I wanna stay home and help you when you're having a rough day, that's my choice. No one is forcing me to do anything, I look after my girl because I love you."

There was nothing anyone could say that would make Evan feel differently about this or make him see things differently.

Lucy had no right to say what she did and he wished to God that (Y/n) hadn't heard, or that she had at least listened to what he said in retaliation.

It didn't matter what anyone said because they weren't in this relationship. Evan wanted to look after (Y/n) when she was ill, he wanted to stay home and make sure she was resting and had her meds and he wanted to help her go on walks and exercise to feel better. He wanted to pick her up when she couldn't climb the stairs herself. Evan wanted to stay home with her rather than go out alone and have a boring time he would regret.

Evan was never going to regret staying home with (Y/n) or helping her or looking after her because he loved her and he saw caring for her as a sign of his love. It wasn't a habit or a ritual or a job he had to do.

Nothing would make him see this situation any differently.

"You should have called me."

"And say what? Evan you're a fireman, I c- I can't make you come home when you're at work and your job is important-"

"(Y/n) you're important too!" His tone and pitch took (Y/n) by surprise and she shuddered when his thumbs pressed into her cheekbones so he could get her to look at him again. "If you have a fall and you're hurt, then I expect you to call me. I don't want you hiding things like this from me. My job is just that, it's a job and it doesn't mean more to me than my family."

If she got hurt, Evan wanted to know. He wanted her to call him whether she was crying or screaming or half passed out on the floor. Evan wanted her to ring him and tell him she was injured and she needed help. He wanted to be the one to help her and if he couldn't come home right away, he would make sure someone was there with her.

He didn't want to sit at work being none the wiser that she was hurt. It ground Evan down and made him angry beyond reason that he had been thinking everything was fine when (Y/n) had clearly been in agony, home alone.

She should have called him.

"Promise me you won't try and hide things like this from me."

"I promise," Her voice was quiet, barely more than a whisper carried away on the wind, but it was enough for Evan. It was enough to calm the storm raging through his soul and make him finally take a proper, deep breath.

He leaned down and closed the distance between them. Tasting her lips, stealing her breath, swiping his tongue across the little flecks of blood welling up on her lower lip. He let his fingers slide down to curl across the side of her neck while his nose brushed hers and his lips stayed hovering over hers even after they pulled back.

"Now please, let me take you to get checked out."

[mauvecherie-writes]

Meritorious.

pairing: lewis hamilton x f!black reader

summary: lewis drove his ass off and just wanted to appreciate that. takes place after the Hungarian GP 2023.

themes/warning: 18+ nsfw, minors dni, pwp, oral sex (male receiving), humping.

word count: 3.36K

note: as you can tell, I’ve not been in the writing spirit. Just lost a lot of motivation for writing lately and it’s been hard getting back into that mindset but I’m trying. Sorry for the inactivity and I hope you like this.

Today was one of those rare days where Lewis left immediately after all of his duties at the track had been handled. His cheeks had begun to itch from holding up his smile - the mask had slowly begun to slip. He couldn’t expose his true emotions to the team at that moment. The frustrations that he was juggling within him were not theirs to be burdened with, he’d have to talk with Toto and the seniors tomorrow.

All he knew was that he just needed to leave the track as soon as possible. But never without saying goodbye to the fans who had diligently waited for him. However, nearing his awaiting car, he saw you standing by the back doors. Your honey blonde French curl braids framed your face as your sunglasses protected your sweet eyes from the rays of the sun. The cream, linen summer dress fell perfectly on your body - contrasting your beautiful deep brown skin.

Seeing you in all of your ethereal glory, lifted a weight from his chest.

And then you smiled at him.

Lewis could feel his heart begin to beat faster.

As he encroached closer, you began to hop on your feet before rushing to meet him halfway. You opened your arms and he melted into your body. The both of you held onto each other as your fingers soothingly caressed the back of his neck and your lips pressed soft kisses on the side of his head. Your actions brought him much comfort and cocooned him in your warmth.

You slightly pulled away and cupped his face into your hands and the pad of your thumbs softly rubbed his cheeks as you brought him forward to meet your kisses. He breathed you in as you left many pecks on his lips, his hands falling naturally onto the curve of your back - bringing you further into his body.

“One to ten?” You softly asked as you wiped your lipgloss away from his lips.

“Was at a five but seeing you has brought it up to a good seven point five.” He smiled with his head slightly tilted to the side as the wrinkles in the corners of his eyes made an appearance on his face.

You rolled your eyes behind your sunglasses but failed to stop a grin from being drawn on your face. “Ever the flatterer.” You mumbled before kissing him once more. “Let’s get you out of here.” You whispered before taking his hand and turning to walk towards the truck.

Back at the hotel room, Lewis was settled in bed with his back leaning against the headboard as he mindlessly scrolled on his phone as he waited for you to finish freshening up in the bathroom. It wasn’t long after that you entered into the main room with your silk robe tightly secured around your body.

He watched as you stood by the mirror as you fixed your bonnet, making sure that it was secure. A small smile appeared on his face as he observed you fiddling with the material until you were satisfied.

“Did the food come?” You asked as you turned around, facing Lewis.

“Yeah but I’m not hungry.” He mumbled as an answer, putting his phone on the side table and then shifting back into his previous position. You pouted at him before you crawled onto the bed and then onto Lewis’s lap. Both of your thighs were on either side of his body before you leaned backwards to put most of your weight on his legs.

“Talk to me babe.” You urged him. “What’s going on in that head of yours. You’ve been too quiet.”

He played with the hem of your robe, tugging on it softly, exposing more of your flesh for him to trace patterns on.

“I don’t know, it’s been such a crashing reality you know? No matter what I’m doing, how hard I push, that place I was in before is not coming back. Or at least coming back fast enough for me.”

You nodded your head, signalling for him to continue.

“Our car is shit. Like disgustingly terrible and I’m struggling to connect with it. We’ll have good sessions and good races where I’m thinking, ‘okay this is it. We’re finally finding our footing.’ But then we get pushed ten steps back and we’re back to square one.”

“Awe baby,”

“I just.” He sighed. “I wish they had just listened to me. It went in one ear and out the other.”

“You know what Toto and the others are like. They didn’t want to admit they were wrong. It’s a very hard thing to accept defeat when you’ve been winning for so long. They’re not like you babe. Failure is a thing very hard to be gracious about for those folks.” The last part of your statement caused him to chuckle.

“You can say white people you know. You don’t need to sugarcoat it.” He said as he tugged your robe loose, letting the tie fall to the sides of your body.

“They’re like your family. I didn’t want it to come off as an insult more than an observation .” You shrugged, your fingers reaching to his necklace and rubbing on the diamonds encrusted into the chain.

“It’s the truth though.” He chuckled.

“You’re right, you’re right. But! Coming back to this, I need you to hear me right now. The fall was unfortunately and inevitably going to happen. It was an orchestrated attack, yes but it came and you handled it the best ever way that you could in that moment. We’re not going to be back where we need to be immediately with the politics of the game as they currently stand but believe me when I say your time is coming. Like a phoenix, you’re gonna rise up and you’re gonna show everybody why you’re the best to ever do it. Nothing can stop and nothing won’t stop you, why? Because you’re the hungriest you’ve ever been. I can see it in your eyes - that fire is burning within you.”

“It is.” He confirmed. You smiled down at him as you cupped his face and stroked his cheeks.

“I know it sounds repetitive because you’ve probably been telling yourself the same thing but you will be rewarded for your patience. It’s not coming when you want it but it will be coming, I promise you.” You spoke as you looked directly into his eyes before leaning down and pulling his face upwards into a sweet kiss. Lewis hummed softly into your mouth as his hands settled at your waist.

“Thank you, I needed to hear that.” He mumbled as he broke the kiss.

“Always baby.” You pecked his lips.

“Now onto something else ..” Your hands began to trail down his naked chest before settling on the hem of his boxers. At the feel of your touch, Lewis’s stomach contracted as his dick twitched beneath the fabric. He loved and hated how quickly your touch brought a reaction out of him.

“And what’s that?” He questioned as his eyes closed as your lips touched the skin under his chin before moving down his jawline and finally onto his shoulder.

“You were a fucking beast this weekend and I couldn’t help but be turned on by that. That pole qualifying lap? I’ve watched it more than once already.” You whispered into his ear after scrapping your teeth against his lobe.

“Oh that turned you on did it?” He smirked questioning you playfully because he knew just how his driving made you feel.

“Mhm.” You nodded your head as you continued to place your lips on any inch of skin that you could. “Everything you do turns me on.”

“Shit.” Lewis hissed as you licked his nipple. “So what are you gonna do about that? Since you’re so turned on.” He egged you.

You pulled back and looked directly into his eyes before snaking your body down the length of his, inching towards his legs.

“I’m gonna suck your dick so good baby, I’m going to have you counting stars.”

“I like the sound of that.” He licked his lips as he leaned back against the headboard. His eyes trailed across your body as you slid your robe off from your shoulders. The straps of your babydoll had gone down your shoulders along with your robe but neither of you particularly cared especially when you were tagging on his boxer briefs and pulling them down his legs.

You loved when you were able to tease him. Placing the softest kisses onto the sensitive skin around his cock without giving him the attention that he desperately wanted from you.

“You know that watching you drive has always turned me on. But something about this weekend had really riled me up and all I could think about was sucking your dick in your suit. But this will have to do.”

“Fuck.” Lewis sighed as you finally laid your tongue upon the underside of his cock. His eyes closed as the sensation of your tongue tracing the veins of his dick. “I fucking hate it when you tease me darling. I just want to feel your mouth around me.”

You giggled as you cupped his balls in your palm before kissing his weeping tip. “But you love doing it to me. You love teasing and edging me until I lose all my senses but when it’s the other way around, you can’t take it.”

Through your bonnet, Lewis had managed to grasp onto your braids hard enough to pull your head away. You gasped as you looked into his eyes with your mouth slightly parted, saliva pooling on your tongue.

“Any other day, I would have let you tease me but right now I don’t need that, you either suck my dick and go wild or I fuck your mouth until I’m satisfied. You choose.” The last part of his sentence came with a deep rasp and your panties were soaked. Your heavy breathing was in sync with his heaving chest.

“Yes, sir.” You mumbled.

“Good. Now, open wide.”

Holding onto the base of his length, he breached his tip past your lips and then you immediately took over - moving his hand away, you took as much of his dick into your mouth until he hit the back of your throat. The intrusion made you gag but you took it like a champ and slid your tongue alongside his cock.

The move made a low grumble escape from him but you weren’t letting up. You quickly picked up your pace, getting his dick nice and wet with your spit. Lewis averted his eyes back down to you as you expertly moved your mouth. You were so warm and wet - not comparable to your pussy but the way your tongue tickles the underside of his sensitive tip.

Once he sagged back into the bed, did you finally pick up your pace. You utilised your hands, fondling his balls as the other stroked his base as your mouth paid full attention to his tip.

“Oh fuck!” Lewis hissed as his hips jerked. You hummed around him as you positioned your tongue flat against his tip and lapped up at his premium that had been leaking. His cock was swelling and throbbing in your mouth, adding a bit of a stretch to the corners of your lips but you didn’t care if it hurt you. You gripped his base a little tighter as you moved your head a little faster so that he was stimulated a little more. At the sound of his whiny moans, you dug your nails into his thighs as you refused to stop the momentum that you were at.

The rumble from his chest echoed in the hotel room and you couldn’t help but let him slide further down your throat.

“Just like that baby, fuuuuccckkk.” Lewis’s eyes rolled to the back of his head and forgive him but both of his hands slid underneath the confines of your bonnet to sink into the strands of your hair as he planted his feet flat against the bet and began to fuck up into your mouth. The more you choked and struggled to deal with all of him in your mouth, the more it egged him on. As much as you wanted to please him, you loved it more when he took what he wanted from you.

Today was all about him and however he wanted you and you would give him exactly that.

“Always do me so good baby.” Lewis sighed. “Taking this big dick down your throat.” You nodded your head through the tears with your mouth full of his cock without a care. You comfortably shifted yourself in between his legs before pushing yourself to the limit as the pinch of tears behind your eyes became harder to control as you let him abuse your throat.

You loved sucking his dick but it wasn’t often Lewis allowed you to do so because he was always the giver. He loved pleasing you and derived pleasure from doing so but it was times like these where he let you loose on him, where it felt like he was losing all of his senses. He loved the way you just took him fucking up into his throat with no complaints. Your saliva dribbled down his length but you were determined to suck him until he came in your mouth.

“That’s it sweetheart.” He groaned as he let one of his hands fall from your head to grip on the sheets beside him as the muscles in the pit of his stomach began to tighten. You could feel his legs shifting besides you and you knew that his orgasm was approaching so you took him deeper into his mouth until his head was touching the back of your throat.

Your eyes averted from what you were doing to look up at him and your pussy clenched at the sight before you. Lewis’s head was thrown back with his eyes scrunched shut and mouth agape as he breathed deeply through his nose. You loved bringing him to his absolute weakness - it was empowering.

The soft touch of his fingers caressing the back of your head contrasted the hard thrusts of his hips forcing his cock to bruise the back of your throat. “That’s it. That’s it. I’m going to cum in your mouth if you don’t stop.” He moaned.

You whimpered and nodded your head in response and gripped onto his thighs as you braced yourself. Your cheeks stung from the slapping of his hips against your face but your bared it all to feel him push your head further down until your nose was brushed up against his base.

You fought the urge to gag as his cum erupted and slid down your throat. Lewis moaned loudly above you. “Mmmmm fuck! Fuck, fuck, fuck baby.” He moaned loudly above you and it sent your body ablaze and you were highly aware with the effect he was having on you. You could feel your clit throbbing in your panties, begging for attention. You kept your head in place until he had stopped cumming and Lewis was quick to pull out of your mouth.

“Come here.” His voice was hoarse and your body responded to that by your nipples tightening. He pulled you towards him with the back of your neck until your lips were connected. You loved it when he did that. Your ex used to make you feel disgusting when they refused to kiss you after oral but Lewis didn’t care, he’d push his tongue deep into your mouth without a care and it was something that you feel sexy. The lewdness of it all.

You scrambled your body up until you were in his lap as you continued to make out, cupping his face into your hands, you felt his hands slip underneath your dishevelled robe and they roamed until they got to the sides of your soaked underwear.

“Fuuucckk.” Lewis sighed against your lips as his fingers scrunched up the fabric of your underwear beneath. “I can feel how soaked you are. You always get so wet from sucking my dick.”

“Mhm.” You whimpered softly. The sound quickly turning into a gasp as a loud ripping sound rang in the air. Your slightly widened eyes met his that were laced with a playful glint.

“They were in the way.” He smirked as he flung the torn panties onto the floor.

“You’re gonna buy me a new pair.” You said as you placed your hands on his chest and pushed him back down onto the bed.

“I’ll buy the whole fucking shop if you want it.” He licked his lips as he shifted you properly so that your clit laid right on the underside of his cock. He rolled your hips to begin creating a friction. You bit your lip as you looked down at him as you garnered control over the movement of your hips.

The friction and pleasure quickly consumed you and the build up was quick. Already highly aroused from Lewis fucking your mouth, your slickness helped you glide faster and faster against his dick - your orgasm was right around the corner. Lewis began thrusting his hips upwards, bumping the tip of his cock against your clit.

“I want to feel you cum on me.” He softly groaned as he held onto your waist and pressed you down onto him harder with one hand and the free hand came to your breast and pinched your nipple, softly tugging on them. Your eyes rolled to the back of your head as the slight pain rolled down your spine and settled in your abdomen.

“I’m about to cum!” You gasped. Your head fell backwards as you moved your hips faster and faster. Your moans were breathless and heavy as the pressure mounted. Your bonnet was slipping off your head as a sheen layer of sweat covering your forehead and neck. Eyes completely shut with your mouth parted, letting out the most loveliest sounds. You were in bliss.

Your thighs tightened against his waist which made Lewis shoot up to wrap his arms around your body and hold you down as your orgasm erupted. You laid your forehead on his as you tried to regulate your breathing and gain all focus on your senses. Once your ears had stopped ringing and your vision cleared, you felt the trace of his fingers up and down your spine.

“Fucking hell.” You mumbled. “I forgot how intense orgasms from humping can be.” Your comment caused him to chuckle. You slumped into his body letting him hold you as you both ignore the uncomfortable stickiness between you.

“Brings back memories of when we first started dating and that’s all we did.” He spoke softly as he continued tracing patterns into your skin not paired with kisses on your shoulder. You groaned in response to his statement, feeling embarrassed about those days. The both of you had been trying to not act on the sexual chemistry between of you. But it never worked.

“God I can’t believe we used to behave like teenagers with no self-control.” You answered him. And shortly after, you fell into a comfortable silence. You continued embracing each other before moving to the bathroom. Your love for each other was felt in the intimate way you bathed each other’s bodies.

The stress that he had carried throughout whole weekend had been melted away from his body. You always made him feel better - you were his anchor that he could lean on when he needed. He laced his fingers with yours and brought the back of your hand to his lips. The silent acknowledgment and appreciation. You smiled at the gesture before proceeding to do the same to his hand.

_____________________

author’s note: It’s the way this was supposed to be just smutty but then I don’t know what I did here at the end lmao. I was feeling mushy and it probably doesn’t fit the vibes and the drastic tone change is 🥴 but we move. I’ve honestly lost a lot of motivation to write but I’m trying. I feel like I owe it to you guys and to myself to finish the things I’ve started. Maybe me finishing this can spark some writing motivation. We’ll see 💕.

@queenshikongo3 @lostinlewis @hersinsarescarlet @dhlfastestlap @olyvoyl @chaneajoyyy @kindan3rdy951 @ricciardosheart @lewiscrown @sarah-ev @mercedesjpg @playgurlxoxo @scorpiobleue @leilaxaliel @amorestevens @nomnombibblenibble @honey-prinxess @ohkapten @bahatibloom @meganwestan @theonlyblue2 @mangodreamsicle @jayvila0 @royallyprincesslilly @felicity-x0 @melodicheauxxlovesfood @lh44adore @mimihopie @paradisehamilton @riasrecs @weetjy @mochachocolatteyaya @lewisroscoelove @valkryienymph @miyuhpapayuh @write-fromthe-start @stronglikemusic @judelver123 @thickbihhwitdagapp @n0vaj3an @cocobuttersmooches

[lunajay33]

Change Part.2

•🩰🎀🩷•

Summary: Y/n is a loner but loves ballet but her family doesn’t have enough money for her to dance at the studio, Daryl is a redneck who hates people and prefers bikes, until one day these two run into eachother and their lives change drastically, will Daryl toughen her up? Will y/n soften Daryl? Or both? How will things go when people start coming back from the dead

Pairing: Young Daryl Dixon x f!reader

A/n: This is going to be a series, it’s gonna start with how they met eachother and their lives before the apocalypse, eventually it’ll blend with twd story line!!

Part.1

•Masterlist•

It had been a week since Daryl and I’s first time hanging out and things have been nice, if that’s the word that could describe complete peace and acceptance around him, he’s the first person to ever see me for me and treat me normally, like o wasn’t a burden or a weirdo quiet loner

At school we’d help each other throughout class, well mostly me helping him when he didn’t know the answer to a question on our daily biology work book, and he started to sit with me on the bench behind the school bordering the towns woods, same as today

“So what do you have for lunch?” I asked as I sat cross cross facing him

“Just a sandwich, sucks” he said shrugging his shoulders

“Here you can have my chips” I said handing him my little bag of sour cream and onions chips

“Nah it’s yers” he said waving his hand

“You’re having them” I said placing them down next to him so he couldn’t refuse

“I’m not that hungry anyways so it’s fine” I said as I took another bite out of my green apple, I don’t know why but I’ve just lost my appetite lately, maybe it was the stress at work plus home life plus school stacked on top of each other but I tried not to think about it too much

“Ya sure? Ya should eat more” he said squinting at me

“I’ll be fine I’ll just eat when I get home maybe…..maybe if you’re not doing anything would you like to come over?” I asked hesitantly, we haven’t hung out, outside of school since Sunday and now it was Friday and I was just crawling to be alone with him again

“Sure, I ain’t got nothing going on” he said as he ripped open the chips but I swear I saw a faint smile

The bell rang signalling the end of the day, I went to my locker, pulled on my coat and stuff my textbooks into my bag for the homework I had to do over the weekend, I closed my locker jumping when I saw Daryl already there with a smirk

“Jerk you scared me” I said laughing as we started heading for the exit, the gust of fall air felt amazing, fall was always my favorite the leave turning to burnt orange and falling to the ground, the wind with the aroma of wet leaves it was comforting

We got some weird stares from people like the snotty preppy girls but when I looked at the football team all huddled by the car lot by heart dropped, Jackson looked at me with so much hatred and I knew it was because he hated the dixons, I wasn’t embarrassed of Daryl, he’s my friend I was just scared of what Jackson would do

We continued walking towards my house, it was silent most of the way

“So….how much more money do ya gotta save for ballet lessons” he asked his hands stuffed in his baggy cargo pants

“Well the lessons are a hundred dollars a month so for a year it would be twelve hundred a year so I’m really far off, I only get paid 9 dollars an hour at the dinner and i don’t get that many shifts so it’s starting to become just a dream plus I’m probably too old now” I said upset knowing now that doing the math I’d probably never get to be that ballerina I always craved to be, to dance in those pink slippers and tights, to feel the music move me

“I can help ya, I got some extra money” he said with these hopefully eyes I’ve never really seen on him before and it made my heart thump

“Are Daryl I can’t have you do that, it’s your money you worked hard for, it’s okay I’ll just watch Swan lake over and over again” I said laughing pathetically trying to make this situation not as awkward and sad, but wasn’t that just me? Awkward and sad

“But it’s yer dream”

“Ya it’s just a dream but it’s fine Daryl, I’m sure I can find something else to make me happy” I said smiling at him as we finally made it to my house, we went straight to my room dropping our bags and stripping our jackets to flop down on the bed and just look at the ceiling

“Show me this swan lake yer always talkin ‘bout” he said as he laid his arm behind his head looking at me with a smile that warmed my heart, if this is what having friends was like I’m glad I finally had one

“Okay!” I said as I jumped up and put in the vhs into my dingy old tv hearing the tape wind up and appear on screen all grainy but beautiful, I sat back down next to Daryl as we watch the whole dance I knew every move, every turn of music notes it was amazing

The black swan was devastatingly beautiful, and the song change when she appears hits me deep inside and my skin shivers with amazement every after the numerous amount of times I’ve watched this, then it was over and the tape cut off

“So how did you like it?” I asked excited for his impression

“I ain’t one fer this kinda thang but it was…….cool”

“It’s kinda like us, I’m the white swan that everyone runs over and you’re the strong black swan, sad and beautiful” his face turned red as he cleared his throat and looked away

“Nah stop that” it was cute making him embarrased in a sweet way

“Well it’s true maybe you could learn it and dance with me” I said 100% joking knowing that would never happen but would be funny to see

“I ain’t gonna do that, but…..I’ll watch ya dance” he said looking back at me the pink tint still lingering on his cheeks

“I just need slippers first” I said laying back down next to him

We must have fell asleep because we were abruptly woken up to my door slamming open and Jackson and his one jerk friend coming in, we shot up in bed and I instantly felt scared

“Jackson what are you doing?”

“Really a Dixon, I knew you were a slut” he said as his friend laughed

“What no he’s my friend, just leave”

“If you’re gonna sleep with whoever what about my friend here” his friend came up to me grabbing my arm and trying to drag me off the bed but I held on tight to the sheets

“Leave me alone, let go” I said panicking, I felt his grip let go and when I looked Daryl had him on the ground punching his face in, Jackson grabbed him and threw him back

“Get the hell outta here, ya ever touch her again and yer dead, I swear I’ll kill ya” Daryl groaned as they both left shutting the door

Daryl led me back to sitting on the bed, his touch was comforting and warm compared to the harsh cold grip I was just in

“Are ya okay?” He asked making me look at him as he wiped my tears away

“I think I’m gonna be sick” I whined the anxiety so high I didn’t know what to do

“Shhhh yer safe now just breath”

He helped me relax but that thought of not being safe alone scared me, what if Daryl wasn’t here? What would’ve happened?

“Daryl….will you stay with me tonight?”

“I don’t know ya sure ya want me here”

“Please I’m scared to be alone with them here”

“If that’s what ya want” he said getting up and taking some blankets from my closet setting up a makeshift bed on the floor right next to my bed, the adrenaline crush was hitting me hard and I was exhausted, I laid down facing him, seeing him sprawled out just as tired as me

The moonlight from the window was bathing Daryl in a silver hue, he looked almost ethereal and I felt my heart thump again, I’m glad I met Daryl and that we were paired in class, he feels safe, he feels like……like my hope

“Goodnight Daryl”

“Goodnight ballerina” he said huffing a little laugh but my heart filled with joy hearing that, this was my first sleepover ever and it wasn’t how I thought I would start but I’m glad he’s here non the less

Part.3!

Taglist: @pinchofthetwd @bigbaldheadname @strawberrykiwisdogog @h0n3y-l3m0n05 @l0kilaufeys0n7 @welcumetomyescape @severelykinky @tesfayera @daryldixmedown

[the-fo0l]

Spencer Reid x gn!reader hcs

Notes: lotta spencer content has him as an asshole, pregnancy, angst, smut, insecure reader...so here's some classic fluff

Warnings: fluff!, earlier seasons reid +he's kind of a simp (and a bit subby ;))

the way his eyes just absolutely light up whenever he sees you <3

the man's a total genius, but only in the book-smart way, socially, he's a little...stunted

he's very much not used to any proper form of love, so you're gonna have to be a bit patient with him while he gets used to it

but believe me he is trying his very best cause he does not want to dissapoint you

at first he thought your love of his rambles was just a way to make fun of him

but since you seem to actually like listening to him talk, he'll take the opportunity to ramble to you about anything and everything on his mind

which the team appreciates, he has an outlet to rant to, someone to attend his geeky events with, and most importantly, someone reliable to support him

(they are still annoyed when he's constantly on the phone with you, meanwhile there's an active crime scene a few meters away)

before you two started dating he probably already considered you his best friend who he totally neverrrr had a crush on (sarcasm)

he was blushing, stuttering, jittery mess when he asked if he may be your boyfriend

and yes, that's how politely he asked

or at least he tried to, you had to cut off his blabbering with a "yes"

how could you ever say no to such a charming, lovable, polite young man

plus yk...he's cute as hell

the type to go out of his way to wake up early to make your coffee and breakfast just the way you like

wearing matching rings, either with each other's initials or some nerdy inside joke

he absorbedly teases the ring on his finger when he misses you

whenever someone mentions you he gets visibly more engaded in the conversation, and the team teases him like crazy for it

like, sometimes the crew'll pretend to be talking about you and watch how reid immediatly perks up from whatever file he was buried in and turns to look where the he heard your name be spoken. and he falls for it every. fucking. time

gushes to you about any new interesting books, reseach, interesting statistics, facts, events etc

in a similar vein, he'll get caught in gushing to the gang about how cool and smart and funny his partner is

rizzes you up w magic tricks

but can't handle you flirting with him, he's smiling like an idiot and bashfully looking away, with his face all red

a lot of people say he wouldn't like pda, and i get it, but i think if you've been together long enough and he feels comfortable around you he's not shy about expressing it, verbally or physically

i mean yeah, it's not "all up in your face" pda, it's with smaller affectionate gestures

vents all his thoughts, concerns and emotions out to you, and listens attentively and patiently when you have to vent

falls in love with you all over again listening to you get caught up talking about your interests/opinions

man's capable of easily retaining encyclopedias worth of info, so anything and everything you tell him gets commited to his database of a mind

be it the most insignificant gossip or tiniest detail about your childhood, you best belive he's never forgetting that shit

tries his best to not profile you or try to explain your emotions to you, but really he dosen't need to be told twice when it comes to learing the intricacies of realationship ettiquette

he's never dated anyone before and he's about as nervous as he is excited

deeply fears disappointing you, hates the thought of being a burden to you, so hearing affirmations of your love verbally means a lot

more than anything he needs a solid positive presence to help him deal with his emotions

so if he's had a really bad day, or a rough case, he comes to your front door and just totally breaks down and falls into your arms, crying into your shoulder

if anything traumatic were to happen to him, you're the first person he needs to be there

and if he woke up in a hospital bed he'd immediately start asking for you, rather frantically too

and if the event is traumatic enough, he may become a bit codependent, at least for a week during the recovery process

used to get jittery around you from nerves, now it's from the uncontainable happiness he feels being around you

his kisses are so shy and inexpirenced but also so, so needy and desperate

he'd die if you ever custom made a puzzle or quiz with questions about your relationship, like he'd be so overjoyed, literally would never shut up about it

(he'd nail it ofc)

reid usually isn't one for physical affection, like, not at all

but it's completely the opposite with you, he can't seem to keep himself away

and the guy is starved for touch...or really affection of any kind, so whenever he can, he clings onto any part of you he can

sits on your lap facing you, it's like you guys' favorite relaxing position, it's so intimate

follows you around like a puppy, all giddy and stupid with love

always holds your hand or onto your forearm while walking beside you

cuddles very close, tightly intertwined with you

you'll have to squirm and push while he just pulls himself closer into the crook of your neck

or yk just tickle his sides when he least expects it

reads to you, odds are whatever book it is, he's already read it, dozens of times over if it's a classic or scientific. he very well could just recite it but if there wasn't a book to look at, he'd have to look at you which would make him get distracted and trail off

which you'd, of course, playfully tease him for

in conclusion, you're never allowed to break up with him, i don't make the rules, it's the law

[noridoorman]

My reaction to episode 8!

Shh, spoilers below!!

I loved every second of everything that was there.

Nori and Uzi's conversation at the beginning was so sweet, albeit short. Bseeing that little happy face Uzi made at seeing her mom again... Man, she's been through so much and probably already thought she might have lost everyone else. So seeing the one drone she always believed was dead alive and ready to help Uzi kick some butts... Just look at her happy face.

Uzi's little laugh when Nori gave her "parental" advice is so sweet too. In all the years of her life, she never got that from her mom until now. And she finally got her mom back. It's so sweet.

Along with the shy smile and wave Uzi did, as if she's saying "Do I look good with the necklace?" And Nori responds with the cute emoticon on the stone.

Of course, that gets cut off my N RAMMING Uzi with the spaceship and oh my god, them.

LOOK AT HOW PROUD AND HAPPY HE LOOKS!! Plus, we got to see his little fangs!

And when he admits that he was mad about Uzi trying to sacrifice herself... Like, you can clearly see it in his expression and voice, he was really hurt by what she did, but also, he's happy that she's alive.

And honestly, I can't be the only one that when she first grabbed his face, I thought she was going for a kiss lol.

BUT OF COURSE CYN HAS TO RUIN THE MOMENT

I really wanna know what they said, Uzi probably cursed a lot lol

AND OF COURSE, THAT SCENE.

My god, hearing the music, the beautiful visuals... Like, the fact that "Falling for you??" is playing here and the way they hold each other and look at each other with so much love and adoration... The scene gives me so much goosebumps.

I loved how Uzi admits that she can't read the room because that's another point for autistic Uzi!

Their soft expressions, and Uzi's tiny "yay" oh my god they stole my heart.

I honestly kinda wanna know how N managed to steal the spaceship and go past J.

AND V'S BACK, LET'S GO!!

I was almost screaming like crazy in the hotel room, I've been hoping SO SO MUCH THAT SHE WOULD COME BACL!! :D

AND SHE'S RIDING ON THE SENTINEL, LIKE HOW COOL IS THAT?!

The way she says "Working with CYN?!" WAS SO SATISFYING AND GOOOOOOD she's so angry, go beat up ur ex babe /silly

This scene made me lose my shit, it's so funny, why is Lizzy being shook like a maraca

The backstory we're getting between them too. So I guess both were aware on everything, but only V was the one that wanted to change but was too scared to.

The amount of backstory we're getting on J too here kinda breaks my heart and kinda makes me angry at her. The way she said "it tricked me too..." probably because she geniunly through Tessa would be alright and fine, just for her to be... not.

J is obviously heartbroken. But she feels like she has no other choice but to team up with the Solver, especially know that it is wearing Tessa's skin, that's the closest J can ever have something of her.

"You know there's no escape, even in death!"

That line makes me think as if J wanted to die at some point, but couldn't. There's so escape for her from the reality that Tessa is dead, because the Solver will always bring her back.

Help, she's so smooth and cute and akhjdskjhsfdakjsda

The way how teriffied he is breaks my heart

When I saw that, I was in panic.

All of his eyes are focused on Tessa.

Cause of his trauma

Man, this entire scene with V apologizing for everything and even crying... She's been through so much pain and keeping so much secrets to protect N, but the burden of everything kept on weighing on her.

And her face as she realized that he revealed himself because he wanted her to stop...

And just as Flesha was about to eat N's core, Khan saves the day with DOORS! >:D Gosh I wanna kiss him on his stupid face

Gotta love V's tiny smile at Uzi, you go bisexual

I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI I LOVE NORI

SHES SO AMAZING AND BEAUTIFUL AND STRONG AND AWESOME AND SUPER AND HAVE I MENTIONED I LOVE NORI?? BECAUSE I TRULY LOVE HER

AND THE NIGHTMARE PLAYING FOR THE FIGHT, GOSH I NEED THE SONG NOOOOOOOW

The Solver plays soooo dirty, making Uzi believe that she accidentally killed N. Gish, her expression...

The song is so catchy my god

They're so stupid, let them get married now

MY GOD SHES SO STUPID I LOVE HER I WANT THEM TO GET MARRIED AGAIN AND KISS AND ARGHHHHH

Tumblr doesn't let me add more images at that point rip :')

I'll give a more formal opinion on a seprate post!!

[friendsoup]

HEYYY I LOVE THE WAY YOU WRITE MEDI IM SOBBING AAAA- could you write something with medi getting hurt in some way, and reader patches them up? :>

Boo-Boos

Recipe: Not strictly romantic, Medi is implied to have romantic feelings for reader, Reader's feelings are up to you, Medi x Reader, GN! Reader, APPle and Regulus ship it, Clumsy! Reader, Oblivious! Reader, Medi is a tsundere. Sorry.

WC: 1,351

Chef's Note: SOOOO.... I may have read this prompt wrong the first time.... So you get the best of both worlds! Medi patches up reader, and then reader patches up Medi! I hope you enjoy!

You always manage to get in the worst situations. Perhaps it was because you’re naturally clumsy. Or maybe it was just due to dumb luck. Whatever the case, tragedy always seemed to befall you. Whether it be knocks to the head, tripping over nothing, or scars you had no clue the origins of. Today was no different. You were on patrol, fighting critters for the timekeeper, when your legs got twisted with each other, and you fell. You were lucky that your teammates covered your slack, though you’d managed to get quite the hefty scrape on your chin. Not that it bothered you, though. You’d suffered greater scrapes and bumps in your time, and were convinced you’d be fine on your own. Regulus was the one to change your mind on that. “You’ll be no use to us if your wounds are all infected!” She argued, as the two of you walked back to the suitcase. “You should go see Medicine Pocket! They’re a doctor!” “I’m sure just a few bandaids will cover me.” You said, rubbing the back of your neck. “Does it really look that bad?” “You’re bleeding!” Regulus exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. “If you get sick, then your chores will fall onto my shoulders!” You laughed at that. Though she was right. Getting sick was a good way to throw off the entire balance of the team, and you didn’t want to be a burden to the timekeeper.a

“Besides, if you go see Medi, you might get some special treatment.” She elbowed you in the side, the action only shooting more pain up your ribs. “What do you mean by that?” You asked, your eyebrows drawing up in genuine confusion. 

Regulus just stood there for a moment, stunned that you didn’t understand her words. 

“What the Captain is meaning to say, is that Dr.Medicine Pocket is awfully fond of you.” APPle pipes up, floating behind the two of you. “Perhaps, if you are to visit their room, they can provide you with a better experience than our other healers can.”

“Medi is fond of me?” You ask, blinking. “No way! They’re always so mean…” That simply earns a groan out of Regulus, who shakes her head. “God, you’re just like Vertin! I can’t stand it sometimes!” “You should visit Dr.Medicine Pocket anyways, and confirm for yourself.” APPle encourages. You nod. If even the reasonable APPle agrees, then perhaps there’s some merit in what Regulus is saying.

And so, you make your way through the suitcase, down to Medicine Pocket’s laboratory. It’s quite easy to find, following the sounds of dog’s barking and the sterile smell of medical equipment. It’s a path you’ve walked before, many times. “Medi, are you here?” You call from the doorway. Instinctively, you rub at your chin, cringing when you glance back at your hand. That’s a lot of blood. “Yeah, yeah, I’m in the middle of something. Can you come back-” They dismissively wave to you, before looking up from their work. “Holy fuck!” “Haha! Hi!” You smile and wave. “[Y/N]. What the fuck did you do?” They hiss, standing from their seat and making their way over to you. They grab you by the shoulders, pulling you into their room, before pushing you down on the examining table. “I tripped!” You explain. “Down a fucking cliff? You look like shit!” Medi shakes their head, digging through their supplies. They return with a handful of cotton balls, alcohol wipes, and bandages. “Just on some pavement. I did slide a bit though, which is probably why I look so rough.” You admit, glancing somewhere else. Anywhere but Medi’s disappointed look.

“Fucking dumbass.” They sigh, pulling on new gloves, before picking up a cotton ball with tweezers. “You’ve got to be careful.” They bend to your height. Muttering a quiet,”Lift your chin now.” Their breath hot on your cheek. You obey, feeling a bit flustered with how close they are to you. Gently, they dab the cotton on your wound, soaking in the blood and wiping it away. It feels weird against your skin, both soft and cold. The intensity of Medi’s gaze makes your heart speed up, which you pray they can’t notice.

“I try!” You protest, squirming slightly in your seat. “It’s just difficult. Y’know? These things happen without me trying!” Medi grumbles something inaudible before responding. “It doesn’t seem like you’re trying, when you come into my office nearly every day with a new injury. I have important work to do, y’know? I can’t spend all my time with you.”

“Sorry.” You mutter, feeling a great sense of guilt fill you. Medi grumbles something else, before wiping down your wound and sticking a bandage on it. With that done, they get up and begin working on something else, completely leaving you alone.

…

A month has passed, and the two of you haven’t spoken a great deal since your accident. You’ve been managing to handle yourself, and Medi has been too busy with work to come out of their shell. However, the two of you are now on patrol, preparing the last things for the Storm.

Medi walks ahead while you trail behind, your mind wandering in the other direction. Neither of you say a word, you haven’t since you left the suitcase. You don’t particularly mind though, the silent walk is nice. Medi stops suddenly in their tracks, their eyes focusing on something else. You, who’s attention is far away from what’s in front of you, don’t notice, continuing to walk forward. You bump into Medi, and they trip while trying to steady themselves, falling on their knees. “Ow! Shit!” They hiss, scrambling to a sit. You jump back, trying to comprehend what just happened. “Ah! Medi!” You exclaim, dropping to a kneel besides them. “Fuck, I’m sorry! Are you okay?” “I’m fine, asshole.” They cradle their knee, wiping a bit of blood from their scrape. “I have bandages in my lab. I’ll fix it myself-” “I can help!” You argue, digging through your pockets. Out come a crumpled bandaid, and a package containing an alcohol wipe. “Here- I have these! Let me help!” Medi blinks. “Since when did you start caring about first aid?” They ask tilting their head. “Well, last time I showed up at your office, you seemed a bit mad! So I learned how to clean and bandage my own scrapes, so I wouldn’t bother you again!” You respond, giving a smile. “Now, roll up your pant leg, I’ll clean the wound.” Medi obeys, though they seem lost in thought. “Oh.” Their voice is a bit forlorn, as they glance away from you. You fiddle with the packaging of the alcohol wipe, completely oblivious to their expression. “You know I don’t mind you stopping by every once in a while.” “What was that?” You ask, pressing the wipe to the scrape. Medi nearly jumps out of their skin. “That’s not how you’re supposed to do it! God damn it, that stings! And here I am, trying to have a moment with you! Fuck!” “Uh. Sorry.” You mutter, removing the wipe from their skin. “I’ll just put the bandage on now.” Guilt fills your chest. You didn’t mean to make them worse. 

“No, I…” Medi sighs. “Thank you for your help. You saved me some supplies.” They rub the back of their neck, struggling to focus their eyes on you.

The smile returns to your lips. “Oh! I forgot to do one last thing!” You exclaim, after smoothing the bandage out on their skin. You press a quick kiss to the top of the bandaid. “All better!” Medi jumps again, this time to their feet. Their face is tomato red, their eyes frantically looking back and forth. “I-I think we should call it here!” They exclaim, letting out a nervous laugh. “I’ve got lots to work on, y’know? And Vertin is only going to sponsor me so long without any progress!” They turn around, and begin to run off, leaving you sitting there. Confused. What did you do this time?

[buckets-and-trees]

Hehe I’m here with a dare 😏

So I’m such a sucker for angst but with a happy ending - I’d love to hear how you would go about writing a forced proximity meets the one that got away fic, from what I’ve read of your writing I feel like you’d really do those tropes justice

Alright, Em... let me stretch my fingers and get ready for this one...

I THOUGHT about this.

Ari Levinson

Modern AU - college and then mid-to-late-30s Ari

We're going to call this... er... maybe an "imagine-novella"? It kind of ended up being a 2500-word plot exploration. No content warnings, only some language.

You meet Ari in college. He’s tall and toned and tanned, always in a baseball cap unless forced otherwise, and he’s already sporting a full beard and looking good with it. He’s a couple of years older because he worked out of high school before for a couple of years - long enough to put enough away to pay for tuition without being a burden on his parents. When you meet him, it's when there's the huge club rush out on the quad your junior year. It's in the middle of campus in the first weeks of the semester so everyone does wander through by the nature of when and where it is. You see the table for the radio station on campus. Truthfully you don't even notice him at first. You're standing twenty feet away looking at the sign and thinking about whether or not it's worth it, maybe shake things up, you love music - you're that friend always making the playlists, discovering new songs and bands, dying to go to big music festivals, etc, and your campus has a radio station...

Someone else was talking to him as he's running that table, and they leave and then he sees you standing there, and, "Hey! You!"

It jolts you out of your thoughts and you're caught off guard for just a half a second, and go, "Me?"

He grins, "Yeah, you."

Your feet move before you even really think about it because ... that's just what you do when people call you over. It’s an instant crush for you but you try and reign it in, because he's excited that you're actually interested in the station, and you genuinely are excited about it. He's a Journalism and Communications major and the station manager, and so he gives you the pitch to come to an info meeting they're going to have, he'd love to see you there.

And you do go. Because... it doesn't matter that he's cute. The more you keep thinking about it, you decide it would actually be fun. You get a show, you make a lot of new friends with the other station people - some of them are total nerds, but they're all fun or nice or a little bit irreverent, and so station meetings once a month are fun. You're a good DJ. You have fun with your shows. Ari takes note - he appreciates it. The station is his baby. He puts everything into it. He's not outgoing, even though he's charismatic, but he can't help but gravitate to the people who really fucking love it like him. You don't get to know him super well that first year, but when it's time for him to appoint new directors to run the station the next year, he pulls you aside and says he loves what you've done with your show and wants you to think about applying for a director position.

You do. It's going to be your last year of college, the DJ gig hasn't been work, it's just been fun, and ... you love being part of the team, love to work on exciting projects, dig your hands into the dirt and make something great, so yeah. You throw your hat in the ring, because why not? And it could be an extra thing to go on your grad school applications.

Ari not only picks you for the team, he actually ends up picking you to be the director of programming, his number two, the one who oversees the DJs and putting together the roster for shows each semester. And that's what launches everything to a new level.

You lock down DJs that you want to come back the next fall, you both go away for the summer, but now you're texting somewhat regularly about ideas for the next year, things you'll work on, and the real working friendship develops. When fall semester starts and it's full speed on the ground, you and the team of directors really work to make the station great, but it's A LOT of you and Ari.

And to say he becomes one of your best friends senior year? Maybe. You tread that line because there's still that part of your heart that crushes on him, but the part that loves doing everything station and music and working on this big beast together? That's big. You let that be the focus. Because it's fun. And he's fun. And he's brilliant (like you, which is why he likes you) and ambitious (like you) and he's got this great, rich laugh that you get to hear a lot. And a lot of your other friends are busy with their senior years, too, and so are you, and so you don't mind any of the time you spend working on the station with Ari and the other directors and the DJs who are just this pack of a couple dozen people who come and go. But a lot of you and Ari.

And he doesn't date anyone. Not the entire time you know him. You heard/thought maybe there were some hook ups he indulged in during your junior year, but not that year before you both graduate. He clearly doesn't have time for a girlfriend and doesn't love anything more than the station, but you do think - just a little bit - just in the back of your head sometimes - that maybe you don't hear about him with anyone this year because... he's not going to date you - that would be unprofessional for you two and the station - but maybe it's because you are close. And maybe as you get closer to the end of the year... maybe he's going to make a move. He's always said he's already a confirmed old bachelor, but the way he smiles at you, the way he values your opinion, how often he says how amazing you are and how he appreciates you... you're going to be the girl who finally gets him.

But time is running out. And even though you both pour your hearts into the station together, there are never any late nights (those are given to studying, passing classes, etc). The last month, he says stuff like he's never going to see any of you again. Jokingly. You all laugh as directors because how could he mean it? He's made you all a family.

He makes more comments like that in the last weeks and days, and when he says he's going to shut down all of his social media, because he only had it to run and promote the station, you call him on his bullshit. And he says no. He's serious. He's going to go into journalistic photography, and he's going to create the network he needs where he needs it, but he's not playing the PR games to do it - the dream is wild nature photography, work in remote locations, never talk to humans again if he can help it. And it's so stupid. You tell Ari he's being ridiculous. He can't want to live so far off the grid.

"I'm sorry," he says, kindly but matter-of-factly. "But when we graduate, I'm never talking to any of you ever again."

You scoff. But this conversation is now just you and him in the station on a Saturday afternoon. But then you look at him for a half a second and really see his face. And you think he means it. "Ari, I did not give my fucking heart and soul into this station for the last year as your friend for you to never talk to me again. You at least owe me a lunch five years from now."

He smiles. "Okay. Maybe in five years. You find me in five years and I promise I'll take you to lunch."

And you graduate a week later, and he says goodbye, and you're not sad about it. Maybe just a bit wistful for what might have been. But after that specific "five years" conversation, you realize it was only you who was maybe a bit foolishly hopeful. He'd really never led you on. You never told him you had a crush (you had tried to keep it professional, because you did genuinely love the friendship) and he'd never given you or anyone else any illusion that he was there for anything other than working on the station and that bonding and camaraderie. If he had led you on, if there had been late nights, maybe you would've been hurt. But aside from being secretly hopeful, there really wasn't much harm done by your pining. But maybe in five years, you'll look him up for that lunch he agreed to.

He does fall off the gridl You take a busy summer job and then a paid internship in the fall, and you try and track him a bit, but you do just… get busy and move forward. You think of Ari a lot, but less and less as the time goes on. You know the name of the newspaper he was going to start off with right after graduation, and although he got rid of social media, he did have a beautiful website he set up for his photography. And you check that once in a while, but less and less. You get a fulltime job after the internship, and your life becomes even more full with the things that aren’t Ari, and sometimes you think about him, but most times you don’t.

When that five years rolls around, you start to think of him more again.

But you let it come and go.

You didn’t necessarily feel like you were living your best life, and if you were going to get one lunch to win over the one who got away and make him realize you were the love of his life… maybe you’d feel a little better – a little more accomplished, go to the gym more, be really something – in ten years.

Fleeting thought in ten years. Though you do think of him when you realize it’s that ten year mark. And you just kind of smile because ten years ago you was so wildly for him, and five years ago you was still a touch foolishly hopeful, and wouldn’t it be something if you did look him up now? But you really don’t need to anymore.

Then a couple of years later, you move to a new place, and without ever even trying, who else should somehow be living two doors down from you but Ari fucking Levinson?

And he sees you first. He’s just gotten home, opened the door from the garage into the house to be reunited with his good girl – a beautiful golden retriever who’s waited for him all day, walked with her trotting along at his side out to his mailbox, and looks down the street to see who’s just sending off the movers out of curiosity for who’s moving into the neighborhood, and he does a fucking double take because it’s you.

His god damn jaw drops and he laughs and then calls out your name.

You turn, hardly believing it but knowing that voice anywhere, and you laugh and shake your head. “Ari Levinson?”

You push the messy hair from the long day’s work of moving out of your face and are glad you’re not besotted for this man anymore, even if he does look like even more of an Adonis now, because you do know you look a mess, but you don’t even care. Having moved out of state for this dream job, you couldn’t be any more happy just to have someone from your past right at your new home base.

“’Of all the gin joints in all the towns in the world!’”

He meets you halfway, and he pauses a beat away from you because he’s not a hugger, but somehow there’s just this draw to hug you, and so he does. Only surprising to you for a second, but you’re so tired and it’s been a good day but a long day, and you were excited for this move, but you can’t deny a familiar face just feels good, so you melt into him just for the comfort of it for a moment. It’s just nice.

And when you pull back, the obedient but attentive dog draws your attention, lighting your face up with a beautiful grin. “Can I pet your dog?!”

But the two of you are already drawn to each other and bonding before he gets the, “Sure, of course,” out of his mouth.

He doesn’t wear those old baseball caps every day anymore, so he pushes his hand through his hair, and that move has practically made women drop their panties for him over the years, but you don’t even notice, too busy showering affection on his sweet golden girl while the two of you exchange the kind of words two of the oldest friends do when they haven’t seen each other in ages. Why is his chest so tight and warm all at once. Why does he have the thought cross his mind that you showing up here feels like home? Why are you falling in love with his dog and not with him? Wait, why did he think that?

This feels like a slippery slope.

But maybe he doesn’t fucking care.

When he is back inside his house, starting to pull something from the fridge to heat up for dinner, he remembers that he promised you a dinner.

It’s later than you two made the deal for, but… he’ll start there.

Just old friends who are new neighbors.

That night when he’s plugging his phone in to charge before bed, he remembers that he never did get rid of your contact in his phone. You might have the same number.

What he doesn’t know is that when he left the harbor, sure, you waited with that boat hopefully for a bit, but then you finally took your ship and sailed – everywhere really – and you may be eager to fall happily in love with his dog and genuinely grateful to know you’ll have someone in your corner on this new adventure, but you want nothing more than that good friendship in your life. He was one of your greatest friends all those years ago. But you finally got over that pining crush, and here’s no way you’ll be foolish enough to fall for him again, nor do you want to. You couldn’t ask for more than to have your old friend as your new neighbor, with his gorgeous golden retriever.

Ari does text you that night… just a welcome to the neighborhood again, and that he thinks he owes you a dinner, if he remembers correctly (he does, he’s just being casually clever), so he’s gotta take you out tomorrow night.

And it is still the same number, but you fell into the blissful rest of your bed, exhausted after move in day, so you don’t even see it that night. It will wait until you get to it in the morning.

Just like Ari will have to wait for what he wants. And work to try to even bring you around again.

Will he have waited too long and you’ll be the one who got away?

[save-the-villainous-cat]

Could you write a spicy thing with a villain and hero who’ve been fighting for a long time and basically see each other as friends or friendly rivals at this point, and the villain starts trying to flirt, expecting the hero to just brush them off, but the hero flirts back— like, really well— and it’s agonizingly (sexually) tense for a moment and then the hero just snatches the moment away with a joke and a wink, leaving the villain dumbstruck?

Very specific I know— it is absolutely okay if you don’t want to do it, no pressure!! I love your writing style <3

"Oh my god," the hero gasped. Their lungs burnt from the fight and they needed to put their hands on their knees as they took in greedy gulps of air. Sometimes, they asked themselves why they had chosen a job which forced them to do physical activities. What an actual nightmare. "That was..."

"Unexpected, yeah." The villain next to them looked down at the bodies and they seemed fairly unimpressed. They were completely calm, not even breathing heavily. They had been efficient and the hero would've found it unfair if the villain wasn't so nice about it.

"Unexpected? I thought we were gonna die." Slowly, their body calmed down. Their racing heart found a rhythm even the hero could agreed with. Their gaze turned to their nemesis whose eyes were basically glued to the hero. At times, the villain looked at them like they were the centre of the world but the hero figured, they did that to everyone every once in a while, just to freak people out.

"I thought no one was supposed to be here," the hero said. The mission, in its entirety, was rather simple: break into the facility to steal documents and get out alive. The team-up was spontaneous. Months ago, the hero would have been suspicious but now, the villain was rather an annoying friend they disagreed a lots with than someone they wanted to decapitate.

"That was the plan." The villain tilted their head and closed their eyes, as if they were trying to gather their thoughts.

"We need to be more careful," the hero said. "Security seems to be more intense than we thought."

"Nothing we can't handle." The villain shrugged. "You're bleeding."

"Wha—?" The hero followed the villain's gaze and, indeed, there was a huge cut in their biceps. The hero hadn't noticed it, hadn't even felt any pain. Now that the adrenaline had worn off, they could see this being a problem.

"Sit down."

"I'm okay," the hero answered.

"You're not okay and I won't catch you if you fall over. Sit down." The hero rolled their eyes and (reluctantly) sat down. Immediately, the villain was on their knees and held the hero's arm, observing the injury. Luckily, they had thought of bandages which was something the hero never did. They wondered if they should start carrying those around with them.

"You're being dramatic." The villain's hands worked fast as they bandaged the hero's wound. It hurt more than the hero wanted to admit. Whenever the villain was a little too harsh, they swallowed a groan. "It's just my arm."

"Yeah and in an hour it's just your pretty face." The hero stared at them. Admittedly, their face felt quite hot. Suddenly, they were all too well aware of the proximity between them. The villain's fingertips were warm and they were gentle, despite the raging pain the hero endured. The villain was kind and funny. They cared enough to make the hero greedy for more.

Someone they could give everything, the good and the bad. The hero wished they could be that person for the villain and vice versa.

Was it a sarcastic comment, though? Or did the villain mean it? Did they really think the hero was pretty? And not this broken thing that needed help? God, the hero sometimes really felt like they weren't anything more than a burden. Even back then, the villain had done most of the work.

"I don't have a problem with that," the hero answered quickly. "If it means that you'll be on your knees for me again."

The villain stopped and looked up. Their eyes found the hero's before they dropped down to the hero's lips. Shy. The hero had managed to make the villain shy. Even though the villain had always tried to portray someone heartless and cold, they were blushing now and the hero's heart was beating so loud, they feared the villain could hear it too.

Sometimes, they wished they weren't enemies. Sometimes, the hero hoped they could trust the villain forever. But they knew that was a dream and they were scared of the day when it turned out that the villain would betray them.

"I-" The hero watched them swallow.

God, they wanted to kiss them so bad.

"We should go," the hero said. They forced a smirk and winked. "I doubt the documents will fly away but you never know."

"Oh...yeah..." The villain watched as the hero stood up and for the rest of the day, they seemed rather distracted.

[riririnnnn]

As I mentioned in my post earlier:

His cuff (that thing around his neck) is near transparent which gives us a lot of room to ponder since we don't exactly know what this chain even represent.

Taking Hiori as an example, let's suppose the chain represents the burden that holds back someone's true ego.

His cuff being transparent gives us two things:

1. It might be plastic which doesn't really make any sense if I were to be honest.

2. It is glass which makes a lot of sense because how's glass? Hell yeah, my geniuses, glass is really fragile which completely fits into what he said:

Further, in that volume cover, he has pulled down his collar which puts a lot of spotlight into his blue rose tattoo, and we all know what that tattoo symbolises for Kaiser.

In case you don't remember: Kaiser got this tattoo as a reminder to himself to never fall back into his weak mentality because Blue Rose symbolises the achievement of impossible, and he saw it as an example to turn impossible to reality since Blue Rose, itself, is artificial and defies the natural order.

What is said above can be found with a quick Google search:

But what grabbed my most attention is this panel:

WHY?

If he only wanted to push the soccer industry to despair, then why he is adamant about winning the Champions league and the World Cup?????

Also, contrary to popular beliefs, I don't actually think Kaiser has a superiority complex because, look:

What Chris said could be considered as an exaggerated way to rile someone, but isn't this, indirectly, exactly what Kaiser says after the Manshine City match ended?

Kaiser said something along the lines of, "BM's main character is Noa and it's impossible for me to be the current number one, that's why I came to NEL to use Isagi as a way to increase my value." He even went as far as to say that he is a secondary character in BM because BM is Noa's team.

I don't think so that anyone with superior complex will admit such real facts.

Further, why did he got so angry when Chris said those things? Isn't someone bound to be angrier if the other one was to point out their obvious weak point? So, does this mean, Kaiser actually got an inferior complex?

I'm not a psychologist, so I'm not dwelling too much into it.

However, there is another thing I want to point out:

So, because of that spreadsheet/official art of a very damaged soccer ball beside Kaiser's foot, the Fandom widely believes that Kaiser was poor while growing up .

BUT!

Being poor as a backstory has already been used three times: Naruhaya Asahi, Noel Noa, and Lorenzo Don.

I understand that in any sector with a lot of money and/or fame, there are many people who come from a poor economic background, but this is fiction, baby. No author wants anything be repeated to the point it feels overused.

That's why, I highly believe that Kaiser was either bullied or mistreated by his seniors when he started playing soccer which explains that he practiced fucking hard that the soccer ball was damaged, and also his supposed hatred towards the soccer industry. It also explains his long, unkempt hair because he was too indulged in practice.

OR!

It goes a bit darker, so proceed with caution:

Soccer somehow destroyed his family's peace just like the brotherhood of Itoshi brothers.

I may write about others in another post, but in this post, I would like to think that the person who destroyed his family's peace was his own father. It could be that his father was a soccer player himself and due to some circumstances, he fell off the soccer industry which took a toll on his mental health, and he started physically abusing either Kaiser, his mom or both.

Why physical abuse? Because Kaiser is shown having an affinity to choking.

If we get our minds out of the gutter, then there have been instances when he choked himself because he was frustrated. Also, didn't he say that he stroked his rose tattoo as a good luck before matches and compared it to, "as if tightening a noose," or something.

That's why, I kinda think that, AT LEAST, someone has choked Kaiser as abuse/bullying.

I'll rant about the above thing in another post tomorrow or some time later because I don't want this post to be too long, and also because I'm hungry af.

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I remember a vivid dream when Kaiser threatened me to join BM.