#and doesnt even apply to my research group

[goldyluna]

Did you ever had to bullshit through an essay with actual legit information? I do right now, I try to explain something that never was explained but the thesis I write rn has a lot of criteria and one of them is that I can't have an original thought (mostly) because thesis is a "recycled work" with lots and lots of sources and names and dates. You want to write that sky is blue? Ok, but who wrote that first. And if nobody ever came to the conclusion that the sky is blue, but your research showed clearly that it is, then you have to prove it... still with other people work and opinions.

[spaciebabie]

🌻go wild

yeah so people write wukong and macaque as touch starved and yeah they totally are but i dont think that most people write about/convey how deeply they are touch starved. from my very limited research (so dont take this as gospel (i plan on doing more)) monkeys are always touching up on each other in social groups. its a primary method for bonding. now i think wukong is less touch starved than macaque since he's on flowerfruit mountain surrounded by other monkeys. they probably all groom him and he grooms them they play they have their social dynamics but its always from a place where hes the ruler of them all in the social heirarchy so they all kind of have to do that. monkey society rules. so he suffers from a different kind of touch starvation where hes kind of been bombarded with it by his monkeys but its not 100% genuine yk? he'll always have their affection b/c hes their king but idk...maybe he wants someone he sees as an equal to be affectionate with.

now macaque has suffered from extreme isolation for hundreds of years probably and we know from Research™ (a la that one (cruel) study where scientists separated baby monkeys from their mothers to See What Would Happen) that this has probably fucked him up really bad. not as much as it would have if he were an infant monkey but that kind of isolation is detrimental. like no wonder hes snappy, distant, suspicious of others. he doesnt know how to act in these new social situations. and hes lacked one of the IMPERATIVE ways monkeys keep their sanity. just constant touching and grooming of each other and SOCIALIZING. this boy would CLING to ANYONE who offered him even the tiniest hint of affection. hed BEG for it its so fucked up. at first i thought that maybe it wouldnt be w/in his character, but doing outside research has made me realize it may be even more in character for macaque to be touchy than wukong. i can see macaque becoming really distraught if someone rejected his quite frankly, need for affection. it could be so interesting. someone who he comes to expect to always provide affection just. saying no once and how hed probably snap over it.

not even like. in a romantic sense either. monkeys just like touching each other. honestly something churning in my head rn is wukong and macaque reconciliating and then taking turns grooming each other out of respect + generally being cuddly completely platonically. its enthralling actually. not to mention completely in line w/how ive been imagining macaque and wukong. these boys do NOT kiss its all nuzzling and cuddling and maybe playful biting. ive also been reading up on (macaque specific but ive read it can also apply to other species of monkey) monkey behavior in general and like. ough. them just cooing and chittering at each other having conversations while grooming or laying around. lip smacking at each other affectionately. ouuuuagh. their own special little language nobody else understands. i read that macaques are especially cuddly w/one another after a fight. so like. macaque and/or wukong have some sort of end of the world fight deal and one of them comes over to the other to seek comfort. god its everything. we havent even factored in mk who regularly displays this comfort after battle behavior w/wukong.

i also think that exploring how their instinctual monkey behavior has mixed w/the behavior that they have learned mortals find acceptable. b/c. there's plenty of monkey behaviors that would make mortals eyes pop out of their heads if wukong or macaque were to do them around them LOL

monke.

[clefrot]

re the scp foundation itself

just my general thoughts

to keep people alive, there are actually sports teams per site, all employees ofc but it keeps them happy sometimes.

I do believe that FAM radio is around

theres sites all over the world, and generally they each work with their own language (and more if multiple) but english is the common ground since it started in the us. not always required but importsnt documents tend to have english translation, though not required as a working language

many large businesses are foundation fronts in order to fund it. sometimes, though not every time, they can be a safe-house for scp agents wherein they can receive or give materials/information. they can rest or resupply or communicate from every cheesecake factory. many hotels n motels are also under the foundation for this purpose

the foundation has its own schools, granted theyre all undergrad and grad schools intended to either give employees further education on particular subjects or develop research externally. definitelt not as widespread as icsut but most major countries have at least one

its a misconception that Every site is underground. many are only partially underground and many are entirelt above ground. it depends on the purpose of the site ofc

there is an entire departmenr dedicated to giving everyone their assigned “backstory” thats consistent with their skills and background so no ones suspicious and Everyone is in order. these guys are mostly writers

the pay is a LOT and the insurance is Even Better

since theyre a clandestine organization, they also have their own systems for a lot of things. legislative, judicial, law enforcement, etc etc because the law does not apply to them nor can they rely on external services

its not unknown for people from gois to work for the foundation at some point (e.g. goc to scpf or mc&d to scpf) but it is a bit unusual

people from the cia and similar intelligence groups get bullied. a lot. especially by agents and mtfs. especially by disinformation.

its easy to get lost in site halls, and as much as they Tried to improve it, it doesnt always work. they get used to it

the cafeteria food is FIRE its always insanely good in order to keep everyone from doing bad things

there are a few sites (in the us mostly) that are purely administrative in purpose and do not contain scps. they can also be for supplies or storage of other stuff, or generally just to keep people in. but its mostly administrative sites that are like this since yk theyre the central office

[the-s1lly-corner]

HIHIHI

Soo i had a very fun ideia

Idk if you know ride the cyclone but basically its a musical theater show where shows a group of dead teenagers who died in a rollercoaster called cyclone and they were in some kind of limbo and they have to decide between themselves whos going to revive since only one can.

Theres this mysterious participant called Jane doe in the musical, nobody knew her when she was alive, no one knew her actual name, no one knew NOTHING about Jane, not even Jane knew herself completely. She only knew very little from her life and that she desperately wanted an identity.

SO HEAR ME OUT!!!

Jane doe type!reader and the gang

Like reader remembers very little from her life but enough to know that they were lonely, and they have this very mysterious personality where they have almost no emotion in their voice and very unaware about how they talk and act, like reader can say the most disturbing thing to others without even noticing. And reader is a doll like character just like Jane, so they sometimes act in a robotic way, almost like imitating a doll.

Example on how they talk:

Someone of the gang brings up something that freaks them out and reader will go like: "you know what really freaks me out? When a lioness and a lion have children the lioness will stop making love to the lion and give attention to the children, the lion gets jealous, sometimes so jealous that he eats the children, you think that would upset the lioness? Far from it, they just go back to making love as if the children never existed. I find that ideia terrifying."

In a full emotionless robotic-like voice without even knowing that they just said the most terrifying thing ever.

But when someone asks about reader's real life, they will go full SAD MODE AND START THROWING VERY EMOTIONAL THINGS.

Saying things like: "i knew very little from my poor life, but i knew that i was just a lonely poor soul. Lost in the way of life, i ask myself everyday, why such misery?" And keeps blabbering about it.

(If you want you can listen to Jane Doe's music to understand a little more better about the voice, its called 'the ballad of Jane Doe')

Sorry for making it so long, wanted to just make things easier for you by explaining everything without you needing to burn your beautiful little brain researching! I love your vlog by the way <3

The rest of the cast x jane doe type! reader!

linking the other post under the cut, but if i had a nickel for how many times someone has made a RTC themed request for TADC i would have two, which isnt a lot but its odd thats is happened; in the same day no less!/lh/nm

i think this is my sign to get into RTC, ive only listen to 3 of the songs (talia, ballad of jane doe, and noels lament)

ballad of jane doe had a choke hold on me in September, as well as noels lament

POMNI, JAX, AND RAGATHA

CAINE:

aha! haha! i think he would shoot back a fact thats nearly just as disturbing and/or obscure as yours!

though if its something particularly macabre he might look like the gif above. just pauses, speechless, before just

"oh! thats nice reader!" i mean, he might scold you if its too much, afterall the circus is a place for all ages and he would hate that be compromised!

youre in luck, he doesnt really ask you about what your life was like before the digital world, since well, he understands that everyone pretty much forgets everything; i think this applies to everyone tbh

GANGLE:

side note its so hard to find gangle gifs

very similar to ragatha in the regard that she tries to make sure youre not wandering off during a rather hectic IHA

kind of just grins and bears through your "fun" facts, but if her comedy mask is broken shes very bad at hiding some of the shock and discomfort on her face

probably makes a little whining sound/sounds like shes about to cry if you spit out a particularly brutal one

i forgot to mention it in the previous post for ragatha but i think her and gangle would be the ones most likely to try to console you if you begin grieving your lost life and memories

ragatha probably being the more successful one whereas gangle just lets you cry and get your feelings out; as well with some complimentary awkward shoulder pats

ZOOBLE:

finds some of them interesting! i think i said somewhere that zooble would be the type to be into the dark stuff before getting trapped in the circus, or at least they do to me. so i think you two would be on par with one another in terms of infodumping

unless im confusing them with someone else, i do have a habit of getting my hcs wrong and/or mixed up (looks at my old posts for crp where i constantly switch back and forth on whether or not slenderman would know how to cook)

with that aside, i think if they truly were not in the mood to listen to you or just wanted the quiet they would let you know in the nicest way zooble can

"no one wants to hear your net facts, reader"/ref but in a tired and over it tone whereas in the last post with jax hes kinda mean about it

KINGER:

do not say a bug fact he will not shut the hell up, he will go on and on for hours about different bug stuff, perhaps you two going back and forth for god knows how long. i dont think he would be too creeped out by the more... creepy facts of the critters, oddly enough, since like, he understands it so why would he be afraid?

probably gets put off by your tone and movements, but its not enough for him to approach you to talk about bug stuff

mf yall are both wandering off during an IHA TToTT

[ame-wa-ame-2]

What do you mean by not believing in psychology/psychiatry? You said people could ask about that and I'd love to know (*^-^*)

aw hell yeah i like to talk abt this shit. the soapbox is my home

uh cut. since this will probably turn into a rant. also please note that im not formally educated and this whole thing is going to be simplified to hell and back because of that, id recommend researching antipsychiatry on your own instead of letting me formulate your opinion skbdksbsks

so psychology and psychiatry are actually sort of different, i just lumped them together for the sake of brevity. psychology is just the study of the human mind, which isnt catually what i dont believe in. psychology is for the most part fine, if a little too scientific to properly capture the human experience

my main issues are with psychiatry. psychiatry is the study/field thats incharge of discovering/handling disorders, mental illness, and shit, the field thats meant to diagnose

ok now that we have that out of the way. we need to break down why psychiatry exists as a field of study

human beings are destined to always try to order things into neat little boxes, its an evolutionary feature that was peetty useful back in the day... but nowadays, trying to fit mental illnesses or just other human in general in a box is... futile at best, very very harmful and ableist at worst.

for example, lets use an asd diagnosis. what is asd? well, anyone properly edicated on the term would tell you that... its a spectrum... for autism!!! but calling it a spectrum is a bit obtuse. its sort of more like a checklist, not one where everything needs to be checked, but just one to mark down what applies, and to what extent. and the things needing to be checked are symptoms!!

but also, the symptoms can exist on their own! and not having a few symptoms doesnt mean you dont have asd. also, have you ever wondered how disorders are discovered anyway? well to my knowledge its when people (usually doctors/scientists) take a look at a group of symptoms and realize theyre comorbid quite often!! and so they group them up together.

so, disorders/syndromes/a lot of other terms that i dont want to list are really just a group of symptoms!! so why dont psychiatrists, when theyre diagnosing asd, just diagnose the symptoms? if someone has a fairly monotone voice, why not just say that? and why need to diagnose those kinds of things anyway? if someone has a harmful symptom, cant you just treat that without conflating it with these other symptoms that it just so happens to be comorbid with often? there are so many questions!!!

i dont really have an answer to most of those questions, but i can say with confidence that a lot of it has to do with 1) again, humans tend to try and fit everything in boxes, and 2) ableism, even in the field of psychiatry. and theres a LOT of it, not even just for mental disabilities too!!!

and then theres the Elephant. in the urgent care room. because, while the "trying to fit shit into boxes" schtick can be pretty harmful, if we approach it right, it isnt too bad. but the Major Issue most people have with psychiatry is the ableism built into its foundation. you cant just remove the ableist parts of modern psychiatry and leave it even just functioning, if you tried the whole system would just topple over.

psychiatry is built on the idea that neurodivergent people are dangerous and must be found or must be fixed. and even though modern psychiatry tries to say that it no longer believes this, you cant just remove the foundation on a house with no issue! its still there, but it tends to be quieter. many psychiatrists/therapists will tell you that ableism barely exists in the field!!! which is obviously untrue, even to those without any experience trying to get a diagnosis or even just trying to go to therapy when you have a personality disorder.

it also ties into structural ableism everywhere else too!!! a good psychiatrist/therapist could mean one that has to refuse to diagnose their patients in order to protect them!!! having a diagnosis like aspd or npd can get you something like an extra ten years of prison time if you get in serious trouble with the law, or it could mean no one believing you if you try to report abuse or harassment, or ot could mean companies refusing to hire you, or it could mean so many other bad things happening that i dont want to list!!! how fucked up is that???

tl;dr: psychiatry is built upon ableist and flawed ideas that are impossible to remove without the whole field falling apart, not to mention how the way it conceptualizes mental illness and the human experience being almost impossible to defend, especially considering how it contributed to the inherent ableism.

i used common terminology for brevitys sake as well, also due to my aforementioned lack of education here

again, so many others can explain this shit better than me and can tie in their own experiences too, dont just listen to me, do your own research as well!!! i dont have any reading/posts to recommend on the fly but trust me youll get a lot more insight listening to someone else instead of my ramblings

[etherealspacejelly]

i've sent an ask before about self-diagnosed autism and whether or not it's valid (i would link it but i can't because i'm anon and i'm too socially anxious to reveal myself grrr). first of all thank you so much. i quite often reread it to remind myself im valid. <3

i have a follow-up question/kind of a rant. i have a friend who's diagnosed audhd, and she's the only neurodivergent person in my life who seems to think i'm not autistic (she thinks i'm neurodivergent though, but nothing applies well to me other than anxiety which idk if that's generally considered a mental illness or a neurodiversity??). it's so weird how she expresses this too, for example, saying i "have a lot of autism symptoms, but don't seem autistic" (i mask a LOT). and every time i vent about my autism symptoms and how they affect me, i literally swear i can see it click for her that i'm likely on the spectrum and she STILL chooses to invalidate me.

what makes it worse is that another person in my friend group self-diagnosed with autism and dx friend is so validating of him. which is good for self-dx, but it makes me upset that we receive different treatment from her despite both having the same symptoms and diagnosing with the same thing (which may be a selfish thought, i have no idea but i don't intend it to be). self-dx doesn't ever point this out, then dx and him act like they're the only autistic people in our friend group, and it gives very much a "you can't sit with us" vibe. therefore there's only two people in my friend group who i'm fully comfortable with talking to about my neurodiversity (and are now aware of this issue but don't really know how to help).

ig it's just starting to piss me off. every time i post about or even mention autism i hear dx's voice in the back of my mind telling me i'm not really autistic. do you have any ideas on how to handle this? i've been friends with this person since we were in kindergarten and she's a great friend besides this, so i don't wanna cut her out of my life or anything, but i really wanna call her out on this bs without making her feel bad or making her too upset.

i'm so sorry if this is bothersome at all ghjfks feel free to ignore if thats better. thank you again for your past help, your posts have been so nice and comforting to see <33

hey anon! i remember you. im glad that post helped!

sounds like your friend has some internalised ableism going on. thats a real shame.

its absolutely not selfish of you to be upset that you're being treated differently than your other friend, thats really unfair.

also her arguments dont make any sense??? if you have enough autism symptoms then. you're autistic. thats how that works? you wouldn't be like "well. you have a cough and a runny nose but you just dont seem like you have a cold." like thats. a fucking weird thing to say?

idk what to suggest honestly. i know it really sucks but, maybe its time to start to pull away from this friend a little? it sounds like she doesnt really respect you.

if you're going to call her out on it, shes probably going to feel bad. you're going to have to reconcile that im afraid. its the consequences of her own actions that will cause it though, its not your fault that she has upset you and invalidated you. you deserve to assert your feelings and boundaries.

at the end of the day, you know yourself best, and if you think you have autism (after doing your research and a lot of self reflection) then you probably are. self diagnosis is absolutely valid, no matter what anyone says.

[acesolaris]

Education in a Solarpunk World

Education is the kindling of a flame, not the filling of a vessel. ~ Socrates

I'm very passionate about knowledge. I'm extremely curious and love to share everything and anything. As you might notice when scrolling though this blog, I love to deepdive into topics and pile and sort the informaton I find, both for me but also for others.

I'm also living in a western european country and my school system is terrible. So bad in fact, I gave up my wish to become an schoolteacher and followed another passion. There are other well articulated and better researched sources that go into the why our school sytem is this way. I'll only talk about my vison to make it better.

The whole plan is creating an individualized curriculum for each student with a focus on creating citizens who are mentally-balanced, socially well-adjusted and know how to think, so the teaching would differ for each student.

My Solapunk version of education, has three pillars.

The first is free education. Free acess to the Institutions, but also the knowledge through libraries, free acess to the Internet, free acess to academic studies. Free acess reagardless of age. there is a minimum time you have to spend in education, but lifelong couriosity, learning and exchange is encouraged, even after you started doing your chosen daily labour in the community.

The second pillar is the fact that the concept of general knowledge is a construct by the society and state you live in. So let's completely revamp this. I strongly believe that general knowlede should be considered everything that helps you taking care of yourself when you don't have acces to the help of others. Examples out of my head are cooking, basic maintenance of your home/prosessions/garden, first aid, but also how to get and revaluate knowlede you need and don't have. That, and a basic understanding of numbers, reading and reading comprehension to evaluate what you are reading and be able to apply it to your life. To properly form arguments and comunicate in a non-vilolent way. Thats the basic curriculum, the shell so to speak. It doesnt matter how you learn it, via games, from your parents or classes you take. You can't leave education untill you have proven to function in those in your way.

Ok, so the kids earn those skills in peer groups of around five or six people for as long as they need in their own pace, but what about, you know, everything else? They get let loose. There might be some age restriction on topics, but what I envison is pure interest and passion driven learning. There's no classes or grades, just develloping skills and knowledge. Every day there are three or four discussion pannels or lectures to a weirdly specific topic, like the manuscrips of Timbuktu, the life and times of Ghandi or how to best craft a basket out of different plant fibres. And anyone who wants can submitt a topic, and if it interests you, you go, otherwise you stay and work on your linewight in your drawing or solve math problems. Depending on your learning style, there 're videos, audiobooks, texts and writings in differnt lengths in differnt formating from bullet points to tomes. There are workshops, and studygroups, games and media that cover every topic you possibly want to learn about. It doen't matter when you do it, it matters that you do it. If you are a night owl, you come at 9pm, if you only can focus for 30 min before having to switch the topic, you can, if you leave with 15 because you are sick of learning you can come back with 21 when you regrett dropping out. Time doesn't matter.

There is a third pillar which is the treatment of children as actual people. Up until I was 18 years and suddently an adult my no was never respected, unless I gave an essay on why I didn't want to. Simply because I was a child and my parents knew better- every adult knew better. Which I see everywhere, and people are wondering why consens is such a dificult concept to establish as we have to learn that No is adequate. No justifications, just a No. So the learning Institute has scientists and social workers present, who are accessible as someone the students might go to for advice when needed with whatever neeed might come up: assist in finding resoures or give input and correction on fake news, or they may act as mediators in case-you know- kids being kids. Overall however, there is the understanding that children have a certain autonomity they can adjust themselves to give up or keep. Children are people and are treated as such.

The students keep a portfolio of their skills, both as a resource of knowlege and memento. Plus, after spending a specific minimum time depeding on how easy you learn the "general skills" you would be allowed to submitt this portfolio to a council of scientist chosen by you who will certify you for your chosen field of studies. You don't need to, but from my own experience having a ceritficate of your skills is damn sattisfying. And you can do it immediatly when you are free to or wait five more years because you don't feel ready. Again, the choice is yours.

Remember, you can stay as long as you want and even after shifting your focus away to the application of your skills in the community, you are free to participate in the discussions and give lectures. Everyone is allowed to give them, after all. Scientists are conducting their reserach at specific research centres that are connected to the education centres and the students are allowed there after a certain age or reaching a level of knowlege deermined by the scentists working on the project.

There are questions up for debate of course, especially how we want to teach history, tackle the things we did to each other and the planet. My country is prized for how selfreflected we are but our political climate sugests otherwise so, it's still open.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A small Linkspam on topic:

@safety-net-did muses about what should be considered general knowledge which inspired this post as well as @queerspacepunks contribution.

one of the many tumblr discussions on how children are a repressed class

another one on the same topic

a post of @missmentell on resources to learn basic life skills of adults

this reddit discussion on how to remember history.

~@acesolaris

[ftm-helper]

tips for dealing w dysphoria!!

this might not help everyone, but these are some tips n tricks that have helped me w dysphoria! 1. clothes!! if u can't get gender affirming clothes, try ur best to get gender neutral clothes!! if you're ftm like me, i suggest wearing your trousers quite low, even if they're not designed to be low waisted, it helps hide any hip curves!! n baggy shirts help me too, to hide anything my binder doesnt. i go to a support group for trans kids, and they have a free clothes rack, you can donate clothes or take clothes and they won't tell ur family or anything. even charity shops/thrift stores are good! if you dont like the clothes there or can't afford them, dont be afraid to ask your friends! the worst thing they can do is say no, unless you're not out to them

2. binding/tucking/packing,, i've found that binding and packing are some of the best ways to feel more at home in my body, but binders can be expensive, and cheap ones arent usually very good for you. i'd suggest body tape for my trans boys blessed with small chests, it doesnt really bind, but it holds things in place! u can watch tutorials on youtube but i'll link one just for u right here! the actual tutorial starts at around 1:36. https://youtu.be/Itzspq5K0z8

as for packing, you can buy an actual packer, or just use a balled up pair of socks! it might not make much difference but honestly just knowing i have that bulge has helped me a lot! i used to use socks, and it's quite easy to use, but remember they're there when you use the toilet,, ive dropped mine in countless times. i use a packer now and i love it so much, it adds the perfect bulge for me, and i wear boxers with a sort of pocket at the front to hold it in place!

when it comes to tucking i dont have any experience, but if you do a bit of research im sure you can find something!! just whatever you do....DONT USE DUCT TAPE!!!!!! that applies to all of u honestly. with stuffing a bra or something, you can buy adhesive silicone bra fillers from basically any store that sells female clothes! they'll add at least a little bit of cup size and if you have a bra, it'll make your chest look perkier and help fill it out a bit! plus once again, socks work for that! you can fold them, roll them, whatever you find works best!

3. friends!!!!!!!!! GET URSELF GOOD AND CONFIDENT FRIENDS!!! if ur out to people irl, and you get misgendered in public with friends, it can be so so uncomfortable to correct people! if you have confident friends/partners, you should ask that they correct people for you! you shouldnt have to go through any of it alone <3

more about friends !! find friends who are similar to you, but opposite! as a trans boy, i have quite a few mtf friends, and i've given my old clothes/bras etc to them, and they've given me boxers, shirts, and colognes!!

i really hope this has helped a bit!! dont stress yourself out, im here for anything you need and i'm always willing to help <3

[maximaxstreasurebox]

TWST Diasomnia Chapter Part 1

Summary notes(/reactions) I wrote while reading with the help of Google translate...obviously spoilers-

(2022.12.19) EP 7-1 to EP 7-19

yuu dreamed about the maleficent

freaks out, runs out to look at statue

meets diasomnia gang, calls Malleus 'Tsunotaro'

Sebek angy, Silver and Malleus shush him

Lilia runs in 'in school girl fashion'

slept over bcuz gamer night (Idia?), Silver tried to wake him up 3 times

Lilia is gloomy/anxious(?) during when waking up, bed-hair

Malleus invites yuu to talk about Maleficent

gang leaves to 3rd year orientation for 4th year

3 months per season, 3 courses, must do 2 to attempt graduation exam

company applications through interviews and grades

Trey thinks between food industry and science

Cater thinks between media and theme park management(?)

Ace's brother chose theme park management(?) back then

Should switch between companies for experience

Trey&Cater "idk what to choose, so time to listen to some classmates" tour begins; Vil&Rook

Vil - movie studio or potion, no college

Rook sad he cant see Vil in 4th grade

Rook- archaeological research, chose it after STYX accident showed him hidden beauty in world, college maybe?

Leona where the fck did you climb up from

lol he occupying a row to nap

Vil: take this seriously Leona: already applied :] everyone:??????

he's read the papers while Crowley was talking

Leona - mining and energy research company (geology)

of course he chose it to bitch about it for his bro

Rook: IDIA Idia: i do not exist

no Ortho here bcuz he's 1st year :)))

Idia: its a waste of time here when im already got a job offer everyone:????

he got offers after presentation on culture festival

Vil: is it…. STYX? Idia: nah hell, got kicked out temporally basically so media wont come after my fam *point at letter by dad*

Idia's parents got angy when he built a vacuum robot at age 8 and other shits

Vil: so where did u apply? Idia:……Olympus (no.1. market place, hardest to apply to) (btw web designer or what) everyone: EEEEEEHHHHH??!?!?!? (side note: this genuinely got me sad bcuz he first declined the offer back in chapter 5 epilogue)

Lilia: why are you laying on the desk, Cater?

Malleus cant decide which ones worth it

Lilia………….didn't choose anything……bcuz he will drop out of school

EVEN MALLEUS DIDNT KNOW IT

YUU TALKS ABOUT MICKEY TO REST OF 1ST YEAR GANG

Yuu showed the pic of Mickey, gang go uuuhh?

Grim: his ears are bigger than mine…

Ortho connecting to google, doesnt find anything about Mickey

Yuu talks about Mickey's room and friends

summary by Ortho: 1, Mickey is not from TWST, 2, time moves in Mickey's world too, 3, can only talk to him when he's sleeping

something with the mirror… Ortho uses this word: 銀歯 (silver-tooth????)

Ortho: do you know [Kouseki Radio]? (鉱石ラジオ)

oh we're going technology nerd talk, basically a radio made from ores and things without any electricity involved

sooooooooo the 'silver-tooth' he described is what used as a signal recorder(?)... like the needle on old vinyl

next nerd talk item: [Hitomi no Kagami], a hand mirror

current theory by Ortho: the mirror in Yuu's room is a [Hitomi no Kagami], a mirror used for communication

gang: wait.....then if Mickey is from another world, there might be a way to find Yuu's home world???

research group with 1st year gang! everyone takes turn at taking a chance to meet Mickey at night :D

Sebek and Silver flabbergasted that Lilia leaves school

LILIA....HIS MAGIC IS RUNNING OUT......... he can no longer fly, thats why he ran in the morning...

HE ALSO MOVES OUT AFTER SCHOOL;;;;;;;;;

His home country(?) is [Akatatsu no Kuni] (red dragon)

LILIA WASNT PLANNING TO GO BACK WITH MALLEUS IN THE VERY BEGINNING- *sobbing on floor*

He wants to live in peace and not being b-tched around :(

WE GOT MAL MAL'S GRANDMA NAME: QUEEN MALEFICIA

Silver and Sebek are so heartbroken;;;;;;;;

LILIA IS MOVING OUT WITHIN A WEEK???;;;;;;;;;

Lilia: I'm impatient bcuz I don't have much time! me: *chewing pillow*

Malleus: Are you sure you're not gonna change your mind? Lilia: Nope!..or rather, It has been decided a long time ago, no matter what..

"Fate can't be changed..."

oh man heeeeeee's maaaaad....

Lilia asked Sebek and Silver to help out packing up

Silver cleaning up one of Lilia's drawer be like; 'a test from 2 years ago......broken keyboard........expired coupon......hardened nail polish......candy boxes.....Is he really sure he can live like this? 😭'

..Ring on chain with rotten seeds(?) in candy box....

Silver: ".....Have I seen this ring before?....Aurora-colored jewels..."

Silver: .........so sleepy..... Lilia: Silver?

Silver: I found this box with the withered seeds(?)........can I throw it away- LIlia: NO!

Silver: So.. should I pack it? Lilia: No, I'll just take the bracelet (there's a bracelet in the box too??????),...and the ring can be given back to the rightful owner.. Lilia: To you, Silver. Silver: ??????

Lilia found baby Silver with the jewels on, and planned to give it back when he's grown up 🥺

Silver almost asks about his parents but then he just goes 'thank you'

Sebek found a.....magic tool?... Lilia's weapon when he was still a guard

Sebek notices that the metal part of the tool is made of [Mistium], an old metal thats no longer mined

...and Lilia used to use it also as an ordinary axe..rip Sebek...

MICKEY HUNTING BEGINS! First night: Ace&Duece!

Riddle only let them have away from dorm if they study, so he made study tests for them,even for Yuu&Grim💀

THERE'S EVEN FOR ORTHO, JACK, AND EPEL AHHAAHAHHAH-

Grim: If Yuu goes back to their original world....can I still stay in NRC?

Nooo sad time :"( gang is sad, then got back to midnight study session

Day 1 to meet Mickey - failed

Yuu can't sleep, but then sees light and a shadow outside

It's Tsunotaro......and not in a good mood..

IT'S SNOWING OUTSIDE

And Malleus seems really out of focus........snaps back his attention when Yuu appears, and stops the snowing

Malleus starts talking (read: trauma dumping) about how he got scolded(?) by Lilia for having the castle in ice bcuz of an argument he had with his grandma, and no one else dared to get close to him

OMG LONG HAIR LILIA WE WON WE WOOOOOOOON

Lilia made shredded ice with syrup from the ice and gave it to tiny Mal Mal???

Lilia: "You have a great power...don't waste it" Lilia: "Today who's here at this table could have died"

Malleus: You can say Lilia was always close to me.......but now.....he'll no longer scold me....

Malleus: so after my trauma dumping, what do we have here Yuu? :) Yuu: there might be a way to get home Malleus: ......................................so you're leaving too...

Yuu: I feel lonely about saying goodbye to everyone Malleus: ....if there was a way without losing anyone....would you wish for it?

Yuu says it's normal to be sad about goodbye, and goes back inside with a good night/goodbye..

Lilia: "You have a great power...don't waste it" Lilia: "Today who's here at this table could have died"

Malleus: ...Even with great power, I get nothing, I just lose... Malleus: ...they will leave me, leave the table eventually...

Malleus: ...those who invite me...are no more...

[thecookieraakshas]

hey this is weird but im also a biotech major (btech) and im in my 3rd year and my ass doesnt have any idea how and when to do internships any advice

HI!

So I'm finishing a 3 year BSc Hons degree and I recently got an internship for my bachelor's thesis. So I can tell you what I have experienced myself and what I have gleaned from my seniors and faculty.

There is no bad time to do an internship. I honestly wish I could have done atleast one more but certain global pandemics that must not be named meant that I couldn't do any for the bulk of my college life. But internships are all about your own skills, time management and interests. You can find part time ones during week days or full times ones during the summer break.

The harsh truth I have noticed is that getting research internships at prominent institutes is really difficult without knowing someone or having some kind of contact to get face time with your preferred researcher. HOWEVER, you should still try to contact these professors and researchers anyways. So you can do that by:

Going through the institutes website and look at their departments, faculty, professors, research groups and recent papers. Focus on identifying what exactly matches your own interests.

Prepare a CV - look through examples online. Put your information across in formal language and proofread over and over again. If you feel like your CV is lacking, sign up a course or two on Coursera, EdX or NPTEL. (Pro tip - You can just audit the course instead of paying for the certificate in Courser and EdX. The course page will have a free track or an audit option). Put almost everything in your CV in a detailed but concise manner. Try to Google "how to put ____ in a CV". Limit the size to two pages MAX.

Identify specific researchers you want to work with and familiarize yourself with their work (you don't have to go too in depth but just get an overview). Prepare a cover letter for each researcher you are interested in. And make sure to express your interest in their work and why exactly you are interested in the topic.

Send your cover letter and CV to their email id. Sit tight and hope. You can remind them of your application maybe a couple of weeks later if you don't get a reply.

You will be rejected by most of them. It's alright. It's almost certainly not personal. Try again with the next researcher.

A lot of institutions, companies and other organizations also generally have specific slots open for interns especially during the summer. So, you can find out if your university or one of your teachers can help you sign up for these or notify you when the applications are open.

NGOs are an excellent place to gain experience and contribute to society while also building up your merits and your CV. And NGOs are always looking for volunteers and interns. So, you can try to narrow your selection down to the kind of work you are interested in and apply to their HR department or even go in person of that is possible. Some NGOs also take in interns from different states to work from home with online resources. So you can look into that too.

I'm including some links to resources about making CVs and drafting cover letters:

Basics of building a CV:

Basics of cover letter drafting:

Yeah that's about how much I know right now. This is by no means an exhaustive guide. So try to reach out to a teacher you like for further guidance. You can even send them your CV and cover letter drafts so they can help you hammer out any and all kinks.

All the best!!

[hauntedzone]

how do you know all your astrology stuff 🤔 i want to learn more

hi! the short answer is lots of googling ^_^;;; this will probably get long as hell so im gonna put it below a cut

but yea i used the internet for a lot of my "research" if you could call it that, ive been casually studying for a few years. i like this site (its basically a wiki) and i also use astrodienst to keep my charts. there are many other websites but you have to figure out which are reliable and which are more uhh pop-cultury or people with strong bias

as for what to study since its such a big field! definitely start with the 12 signs first. like what are basic things about scorpio for example. this includes the generalized traits (taurus is stubborn and security-oriented, aquarius is unconventional and humanitarian, etc). youll notice each sign has an element (earth, fire, water, air) and modality (cardinal, fixed, mutable), those are helpful to know about too! it also puts all the signs into smaller groups that might make it easier to remember ^-^

after that, id recommend looking into planets, then aspects (how the planets in a chart interact), then houses (how planets are placed relative to the ascendant). thats a lot of info lol again it took me a while to move on from even just the 12 signs. astrology has a lot of patterns, and it also helps if youre familiar with greek/roman mythology as the planets are named for those. if you want i could make a post laying out some of the more basic stuff about these

its also good to practice looking at charts & applying knowledge there! even if youre not comfortable asking people for info, there are a bunch of celebrity charts out there & even looking at your own chart could be insightful both for astrology and your own life where applicable. that said i learned a lot from looking at & trying to analyze my friends' charts

ultimately astrologys a really subjective field where everyones interpretation is different, there are some basic things that most will agree on but beyond that its what you decide applies and what doesnt, so dw if different places say different things about the same stuff. good luck & feel free to hmu if you have other questions! (goes to anyone else reading this as well if youre still here lol)

[caffeinetheory]

TIMARI SOULMATE AU THING

-Anything you write or draw on your skin appears on the other’s

--This applies to injuries and cuts

-Tim is older by a few months

-They find out about the connection after Mari’s 7th birthday when they both get sizable bruises on each leg but can only remember causing one

--Que parents explaining what it means and frantic research

--Constant conversations follow

--Both become fluent in the other’s language with in 2 years (and even then people find out after 2 years because sometimes they slip when talking)

--Many inside jokes and weird words they made up trying to understand the other language that only they know the meaning of

-They send notes of worry to the other after bad injuries and notes of encouragement

-Wonder Women basically adopts Mari when she finds out there is an active Ladybug

--Mom used to be a Ladybug so she knows all about the Muraculi

-Mari does still have friends despite Lila’s best efforts

--Lila isn’t a main antagonist though still isn't a good person (I want to focus on more fluffy things so that's why; she is no way a good person or redeemed character) 

--Her class support system: Cholé, Alix, Adrien, Kim, Luka, Kagami and Max

--Juleka comes around after hanging out with everyone and talking with Luka

--Nino, Nathaniel and Marc also support Mari but aren’t as open because fear and Nino is on the fence about his Girlfriend 

--Jagged, Penny, Clara, Audrey all have a respect and care for Mari

-Tim and Mari have battles of witt on their arms to try to figure out who is smarter

--(Spoiler: they are both insanely smart) it is basically a tie

-Most of the good in person fluff will take place after Hawk Moth is defeated and Mari is the official Guardian

--My girl needs some happiness and good luck man

-Mari and Tim accidentally find out each others identity after they leave themselves notes on their arm and putting the pieces together; however this is often forgotten between stress and more important things

--Because of this though when the Justice League gets a message from Paris, he knows it is real and believes it

--When they find out they don’t tell the other because they understand and respect how important secret identities (this is part of the reason it doesn’t really cross their minds)

--Mari figures out who Robin is; she forgets that Red Robin is a thing so doesn’t look into finding him out

--Figuring out Robin was an accident so she doesnt looking to the rest of the BatFam

--Tim forgets about all the stuff about Ladybug on his arms because living in Gotham has enough to deal with so he tries not to focus on too much at once/has bigger problems

--“I JUST MEET RED ROBIN/LADYBUG” moment in Paris, after a patrol where they run into each other when the League is investigating the plea for help

--The Wayne’s and Diana are there on “official” business but really it is just a cover so they can investigate

--Diana hears about this from both sides as she befriended Mari earlier and finds this a lovely development

---She also figures out that they are soulmates but doesn’t tell them, it’s better if they figure it out themselves

---Does often have a knowing smile when talking to the 2 of them about it though

-It took years before the team decides that they need to contact the League 

--This is a few years in maybe 4 going on 5

--Wonder Woman is the one going through the messages and immediately wants to help

--Tim walks in about ½ way through the message and stops what he is doing, immediately knowing this is real thanks to his soulmate

-BATBOIS

--Jason basically gets adopted by the Dupain-Cheng’s after coming to their bakey every morning while in Paris

---Loves Mari and would do anything to protect her

---Loves the fact she can easily flip him like its nothing

--Damiain respects her abilities and accepts the fact she is basically his older sister now

---Both end up becoming very protective of the other in their own ways

---Wants to teach her how to use his blades so badly and to meet all his pets

--Dick loves her from basically the beginning

---Loves her happy and optimistic attitude despite her situation (he can see himself in her a little bit)

---Instant friends and she smuggles sweets to him

--They meet when Dick follows Jason to the bakery one morning

---When Dick introduces Mari to Kori she is taken into a bone crushing hug that everyone is worried about the small girl but she instantly returns and is perfectly fine

----Kori already loves her

--All the boys meet her in Paris at the bakery but Tim and Bruce (Alfred did not come)

--Tim was never awake so they brought him back coffee and Bruce while he did go, she wasn’t there at the time

-There many “dumb” battles of witt have lead to many late night talks

--Anytime the bois need help with a really bad puzzle by the riddler Tim asks his soulmate under the guise of a normal “battle”

---There is rarely context but always a fun time

-Both have gotten a lot of big scars that sorry the other but they have comfort in the fact they know the other is still ok and alive

--Small messages and self care tips/messages usually litter their arm after a particular bad injury/scar

--This always makes them feel better and brings a small smile to their lips on both parties once they get the message they are okay

--Lots of check in messages too after big fights and encouragement 

-Team Miraculous 

--Ladybug is the leader and tends to be point base for public relations (Mari)

--Chat Noir is the second in command, and is the go to if Ladybug isn’t available 

---Adrien has matured a lot and is a respectable force to be reckoned with 

---Both of them help train the others and often spare together to blow off steam 

--Ryuuko is  Kagami, she became a permanent holder at the same time Luka did

--Viperion is Luka and it is after the four become a semntited team that Mari decides they should know each other’s identities

--Queen Bee joins a little but after, she’s a reformed Cholé

---While hesitate at first Mari gets them all to be accepting 

---Probably changes name and outfit though, but is a permanent holder

--King Monkey and Pegas are semi permanent holders (Kim and Max respectfully) 

---Only not permanent because they want to avoid suspension but are full members of the team

---Also work as civilians, helps with the cover

--Alix also is a part of the team but only as a civilian 

---They have considered giving her the Fox 

----She helps answer questions and acts as a ground base for the hero’s as she is the main “civilian” the government goes to if they need the team

--They are a really tight team and trust each other fully

--The turtle and fox get used but sparingly 

---Ivan might be turtle sometimes 

---Nino later might be a good choice too, I’m not fully sure yet

----Fox has been used by Alix and maybe Juleka too but unsure about Juleka right now

--All holders have slight effects from their miraculous 

---Mari and Adrein have the most as they’ve had theirs the longest 

---Mari has good luck and is able to embed some of that luck into what she makes

----She also doesn’t do well in the cold

----Things tend to grow more around her, especially flowers, almost like they are growing toward her

---Adrien has bad luck (thanks to Mari’s gifts this isn't really bad though) and if not careful can break anything

----Likes to take naps in the sun and is very protective 

----Cats like to gravitate to him

---Kagami has lots of extra body heat

---Luka can sometimes predict what is going to happen, can predict a lot of normal everyday things

---Cholé can easily knock people out now, she knows all the right places to hit to incapacitate someone

---Max (weaker cause hasn’t had as long) knows the fastest way to get places and shortcuts basically anywhere

---Kim (weaker cause hasn’t had as long) is able to freerun and parkour with little training 

----Can also sense when some chaos is about to happen, however it isn’t to sting yet but does get stronger the longer he has his miraculous 

---Alix (has the weakest, but still strong) has the ability to tear apart half truths and lies, she gets this from the fox but also works on it herself after vowing to not let Lila fool anyone she cares about again

-After Hawk Moth is defeated Adrien moves in with the group

--Mostly stays with Mari and Kagami

---Considering moving with Mari when she leaves Pairs

-Mari becomes the Guardian before Hawk Moth is defeated 

--It is about when she makes a real team, Fu gives her the knowledge and training she needs

--He’s been doing it indirecting since the beginning (well a few months in) but after she takes initiative with making the team he is more direct

--He waited to make sure she as ready and she is

-Mari plans to move to Gotham to properly meet her soulmate after school

--This is to move the Miraculous and to further her career 

--This is one of the biggest motivators to contact the League to get help defeating Hawk Moth

--The team is more than onboard with going with her and follow where she goes 

---They are basically family, and family supports family

--This move would also help them with Uni and furthering their potential careers, so it is a win-win for everyone

--They do want to stay a Superhero team after Hawk Moth but more low-key, the move would also give them a chance to be more open about wanting to do this

---They don’t want to step on toes but want to help if they can

-Soulmates in this au (romantic at least)

--Tim and Mari (duh)

--Adrien and Kon (Conner/Superboy)

--Cholé and Kagami (maybe Luka, unsure but I’m a sucker for poly, I could always make it a Young Justice member, any ideas welcome)

--Kim/Max/Alix (we love poly and these are a good trio)

-Kon-el/Conner and Adrien 

--For the longest time Adrien didn’t think he’d ever be loved/have a soulmate

---Conner wasn’t around yet so that’s why his connection wasn’t there

--Adrien cried the first time he got a mark he cried

---It made him know there was someone else

---Mari stayed with him the whole night holding him and telling him, she knew he would have someone

--Conner rarely responds, the boy doesn’t know French so it’s kinda hard

---Tim notices the language and offers him help, he is also the one to explain what soulmates are to Conner

--Conner feels bad for his “other half”

---Partly due to the whole secret identity thing

----He isn’t great with people

----His other half seems to get hurt a lot and doesn’t want to be another cause of that pain

--Despite never getting much from his soulmate Adrien always leaves messages of encouragement and validation

--He understands how much that can mean to someone

---He starts to leave some in Englsih too, just in case his soulmate only knows Englsih 

----Mari’s idea but he was more than on board for

---He often apologies of injuries he gets 

----Conner doesn’t usually notice the injury but the note afterward

-----part of his alien blood is why he doesn't usually feel

------When he does notice he does worry a lot because if he feels it what must have happened to this other person (is under the impression it is a normal civilian)

--Adrien is so happy to know he is loved by someone else, because as Conner may not show it, he has a feeling his other half cares

---Mari is so happy that her best friend has gotten what he needed to know he was loved she cries with him too

----It happens a year or so after being heros so they are close but don’t quite know each others identities yet, but that happens not long after

--Conner is convinced to go and help when the Justice League goes to Paris

---He goes and stays with Tim most of the time

---Tim is the one who convinced him to go and acts as a translator, as Conner has a grasp of the language he isn't too confident

---He does meet Chat Noir but only briefly; both are more focused on the bigger picture

----Both act like lost puppies with Mari and Tim respectfully; and when they get together this doesn't change too much

----They are a really fluffy couple, Adrein needs physical affection and Conner accepts

-How they meet (Tim and MAri) [finally I know]

--They meet as heros before they meet as civilians

--They meet as heros on a patrol before the final battle with Hawk Moth

---This is where the “HOLY SHIT I JUST MEET RED ROBIN/LADYBUG” moment happens, after they get back from patrol they indemnity write the other

----Mari talks to Diana about all this over breakfast the next day

-----they both know the others identity because Diana told Mari so she would trust her because she knew Mari because of her connection with the Miraculous, instant connection

----Wonder Woman figures out they are soulmates through this (Tim had a mini crisis with her that night)

--She “may or may not” leave hint to Bruce to set something up for them

--The 2 are to focused on the final battle to worry about the potential revelations 

---While fighting they have instant synergy and chemistry that goes unnoticed by them at the time but everyone else notices and takes note

--Bruce decides to “spontaneously” sponsor a trip for a class to go to Gotham, as a senior/graduation reward for a class that has done a lot for their community

---It is also a way to give a break to the poor kids who have been dealing with this for far to long

---The “contest” is announced about a week or so after the final battle

---Wonder Woman tells Mari about it

---Mari then proceeds to write far more than one would have expected, she really wants her class to have something good finally, and even excluding all the hero end stuff they do it is close to being a novel

----She would have won even if wasn’t a set up 

---Wonder Woman tells Bruce which class to choose and doesn’t question it as he trusts her judgment, he also doesn’t question why she is so insistent but completely agrees with her choice

----Diana is the one to tell Mari who instaly is giving her a bone crushing hug which Diana returns in fold

---The whole squad is hyped

----Luka and Kagami pulled some strio “happen” to be going to Gotham themselves

----This is also seen as a great opportunity for them to scout places for them to consider moving after school is done

--They meet at Wayne Enterprise building

---Dick is leading the tour

----Diana may or may not have given him some hints that Tim’s soulmate is in the group

--Lila’s empire is destroyed that week, she tried to lie about the Waynes to the Waynes 

---Tries to say she is dating Damiain who is way younger than her and knows nothing

---Conner is staying with Tim because his soulmate said something about Gotham and figured spending time with Tim isn’t bad either

--Identity get revealed on purpose during the trip (probably near the end) 

--When Mari sees the boys she is confused but happy to see her new friends again so soon

--Diana is a good support for Mari and a “wing woman” of sorts 

--Jason is so happy to she his new “sister” when he crashes the tour to mess with Dick

--Tim is passed out in his office when they pass

---Mari writes a note to her soulmate about how funny it is, this makes Conner look up as he is watching Tim and sees the note appear in his arm

---Mari doesn’t notice but Dick and Jason do

---This leads to the 3 trying to get them to talk

---Adrien catches on and instantly wants to help his bestie meet her boy

----Adrien then tells his soulmate about it later because he wants to and Conner sits straight up and has a huge revelation

-----The boys along with Diana and Mari’s squad set them up and they have a good time and it is really cute                                                                                                                                                      

[summersnowy]

A GIRL IN ME - Intro

My mum and dad got divorced when I was at a very young age around 7-8y.o. My mum re married and I was left with my dad who was I'm the military force. He was always deployed in the operation and not at home most of the time. Taking care of me was my aunt who was in her mid 30s.

I remember during my school days I was a wimpy boy who was quiet and timid.

Slender and fair and doesn't have many friends around me most of the time I was hanging around with the girls and most of the boys jeered and make fun of me because of that.. maybe they are jealous of me having good friendship with the girls...

And truly I'm well mannered doesnt talk loudly and using vulgarity or rough words so I was deem to be a sissy confront of the boys

The schooling days was a tough one for me having loneliness at home and not having someone I can trust to talk to...although i have mainly the girls friend but i know I'm not really a part of their conversation they cant share the girls things that they are gg thru...hence I cant never be a trusted friend. That's how I think...I begin wanting to be like them...have long hair that can be tied up wearing skirts, neat and tidy appearances..In fact when I'm around 6-7 y.o i start to think why I'm different from a girl and that's when I discover the difference between a girl and boy.

Questioning myself why am I not a girl why I was born a boy? I started to get curious and wanted to try wear a dress. But I was too young and who I can look forward to is my aunt..she is in her mid 30s and an attractive woman as I can see she have alot of Male friends some I often see them around with her. I would sneak into her closet and see all her clothes and lingerie. Observe her appearance and makeup, the clothes she worn...h&M, forever21, Zara all the clothes she had are so pretty and I wish I can wear them and look as pretty and attractive...So at a tender age of 8-9 I begin to explore women clothes and makeup but I only started to wear my aunt clothes when I'm around 12-13 y.o.. I dont know how I know most of the girly things but I just understand how to make up and wear bra and panties and have my Male part tucked... maybe it's thru the observation and my group of girls friend... my aunt is slim and slender so the clothes she have are mostly XS or S which i can sometime fit some are a little oversized for me but still I think I look pretty in it...😍

This lasted for a few months and which time I became bolder from just the lingerie to dress, blouse , skirt, stocking, makeup etc and my aunt ain't dumb she know someone is touching her things but kept quiet. But for me I'm clumsy and dumb I might have mess up the thing she placed in order...she know I did it every afternoon when I'm back from school and at late night during weekends when she goes out partying or holiday trips..

During this time of dressing up, I felt more and more wanting to become a girl. It a strange feeling, inside of me there seem to be girl trying to come out but the outside of me is trying to moderate the out burst knowing this is a perverted thoughts there are little knowledge of what this is all about....the only thing that I know is its abnormal...I try to read and research about it it's the age of the internet at that time but still there are limited information back then. But I learned from chatting platform talk to sister with similar issue and who are just like me I'm definitely not alone...all this topic on cross dressing, transgender m2f, ladyboy, hormone replacement therapy, Srs (sex reassignment surgery), sexuality etc

Now that I knew I'm not the odd one out I felt better. I know it's a mental disorder but I also knew that I'm an Asian and this is not acceptable in the society I'm in..all this thoughts I have need to be kept secret..its a struggle like fighting against my own self...the only time I can let out the women in me is the private time i have to dress up as a girl looking in to the mirror seeing the beautiful face in the mirror...i know it's a not right to wear my aunt's clothes but I'm still a student financially i can afford. I begin saving up but it too little to get what I wanted...

I mentioned that my aunt knew but kept mum about it. I also try my best not to dirty any of her clothes, panties but I cant help the pre cum that leaks when I see it I will clean and dry it I guess sometime I'm too muddled head...so there was this day which I thought my aunt was at work and will usually return in the late evening...after shower and drying up I step into her room and took out a set of black panties and bra..slip into the bra hooking the back of the strap skillfully as though I wear it daily and tucked my little boy peck into the panties which fits almost like it was mine.. I look into the full length mirror adjust my bra abit and pull my panties tighter so it will hold my manhood in position.. I hate my boy hair style...I took out the wig which I bought after month of saving from my drawer which I hidden it in layer of clothes like a pirate hiding his treasure chest..putting on the mid length wig and look into the mirror again...smiling at myself I look almost like any of the girls in my school. Everytime that happen I will ask myself why am I not born a real girl why is it so unfair why I need to hid and do this like a thief...telling myself I want to be a girl badly God if you hear this please turn me into a princess..of course that was how naive I was back then..I have so short time to enjoy this i need to hurry...opening up the compact powder foundation I begin applying on my face lightly and colouring my lip with a glossy mellow red lipstick...that's all I can afford but enough to brighten up my face a little to look pretty..next I slide open the closet where my aunt latest collection of clothes and took out a floral red skater dress. Slipping up the dress and zipping up the back of the dress before turning to the full length mirror..that imagine of me is what I wanted not to remember but to be let this without capturing it into by memory..At this moment I hear the footstep and clinging sound of keys..before I can react the room door open and my aunt saw me in full dress..my heart almost stopped.....Not surprise by what she saw but a little shock that someone is in her room my aunt look at me and stare for a while..my throat was choke with words feeling a gush of blood rising to my head. Shawn? Is that you?

All I did was nod and look down to the floor. Are you the one who touch my clothes and makeup? I was a little surprise to hear that but remain silent..hey Shawn you better own up else I'm going to ask you father here to see his son turn daughter. You know your father shawn you know what he will do. Aunt please dont please dont tell my dad I am sorry to touch your stuff please dont tell my dad i will do anything but please dont tell my dad about this. Then you have to tell my the truth why are you doing this. My heads was running around searching for an answer.

Should I tell my aunt my true feeling or should I just tell her a lies and promise not to do this ever again....

"Shawn look at me, Do you have anything to say about this? " she said in a calm tone. I suspect and knew you have been touch my things for several months. I didn't sound out because I thought you are only curious and will stop in a while but it obviously didn't. And I realised my birth control pills are missing a whole lot every month and that's the point I thought I need to talk to you. Are you trying to turn into a girl? Do u know what will happen if u take these pill over time? I remain silent and tears wells up in my eyes. Her tone change alittle as I didn't speak up. She Pick up her phone by her tote bag, I am going to call your dad now. Aunt! Please dont and kneel down . I'm really sorry . Dont tell me sorry I want to hear why are you doing all this. Aunt I want to be a girl and I hate being a boy..I dont look like a boy anyway but I feel happy when I'm dress up as a girl. I took the pills because I know it is female hormones and I wanted it so badly. Hearing this my aunt move towards me and held me up and lead me to the side of her bed and sat me down. Ok Shawn but birth control pill are not the right medication for this. Also your dad will probably kill you when he see you like this. But Aunt I couldn't help it I just wanted to feel happy. I am always bullied and isolated in school. My peer call me a fag, ah gua, gay all this nasty words I didn't took it to heart but it still hurt me when I'm feeling lonely and what makes me happy every day is to know that I have a private time be look like what I think I should be like..

At this point my tears was pouring and my makeup smudged my aunt place her arms around my shoulder and give me a hug. Shawn if you wanted to live like this then you have to do it the right way and all the way. You need to think about the things that will happen in the future if you take this path and dont regret it. You know it's better being a guy. Being the stronger sex you have a lots of benefit and privileges. Being female you will be the weaker sex over Male. Shawn I think you are old and mature enough to think for yourself. Aunt will be supportive in whatever decision u make but taking this path your dad will be someone you will be having tough time with. I nodded and remove the female clothes and makeup change into my boy clothes and return to my room. I lied on my bed and have a long thought.......

Scene 1

During that time, I had a online friend whom i known for a while from the picture posted on his social media he looks mature and was probably in his 40s. I have been chatting with him for quite a while exchanging picture of myself dress and he return some picture of him. I was feeling down that day my mind is floating as all this thoughts flooded my mind and I just want to stop thinking about it...after listening to my issues, he ask me to come out to have a chat. I dont really like to meet people who knows that I'm a CD but he was really a nice man from the conversation we had and he told me that he really wish to see me as a girl. I finally agree as he make me feel like I am a girl patience, loving and nice..

To be continued................

[scripttorture]

I have a character who torture another character with sleep depravation, electroshock, and brutal beating. Said torturer, knows the consequences about what all those things can have on the human body. They are doing it just for the sake of it( can torture be made just for the sake of it?). I hope that the torture doesnt come out as sophisticate just bc the torturer knows some stuff. They are a psychopath with a morbid interest in torture devices, so i guess its only natural to know some stuff

If the character is a ‘psychopath’ loner with a strong interest in torture devices then realistically they are very very unlikely to be in a position where (legally speaking) they can torture.

 I’m not saying there are no abusive individuals who fit this description. But I feel like the legal definition of torture is important here because what you’re describing does not sound like a torturer.

 For something to be torture, legally speaking, it must be:

Painful

Done by a government employee acting as part of their job (some countries also include international organised crime groups or armed groups controlling territory)

Have one of the following motives:

Punishing the victim or someone else

Terrorising the victim or someone else

Forcing a confession

Attempting to obtain information

 So no, legally speaking torture can never be ‘just for the sake of it’. If it doesn’t have one of the above motives then it does not meet the definition.

 The kind of person you are describing is the kind of person that government organisations even in regimes that openly torture actively screen out. They see these people as impossible to control and a liability.

 The evidence we have strongly suggests that torturers are normal, healthy individuals before they start torturing. It is likely that their mental health problems are a result of torture rather then the other way round.

 I also think it’s incredibly unlikely that a character who has an interest in torture devices would actually have a good working knowledge about what torture does to the body.

 Yes I realise that I am saying that as someone who clearly has at least a passing interest in torture devices and knows what different tortures do to the body.

 Here’s why I think it’s unlikely: the books that talk about historical torture and torture devices are uniformly written by people who have zero knowledge of medicine, psychology, and neurology. They often seem to have no grasp of statistics or the scientific method either.

 I say this with some confidence because I have slogged through a lot of them. And while they seemed like convincing sources when I was 13 they now make me grit my teeth and despair of the state of science education globally.

 These books are useful for collating historical sources and describing what different cultures did at different times. They are good sources of historical witness statements. They’re good for getting an idea of common vs uncommon torture practices and how practices changed with time.

 Scott, bless him, can give you a decent account of what breaking on the wheel looked like. But I would not trust him to give a decent assessment of the ultimate cause of death any more then I’d trust him to perform heart surgery.

 The people who write about the history of torture do not tend to read about the psychology, neuroscience or medicine relevant to the subject.

 And this feeds into the prevalence of torture apologia. There is a massive lack of cross-disciplinary communication which hampers our ability to tackle apologia in a concerted way.

 Unless your character is also interested in medicine and policing and psychology specific to trauma they are extremely unlikely to know anything near the full range of effects.

 I get survivors who have access to expert help telling me they hadn’t realised some of the things they experienced were symptoms. And I have yet to meet or read a single historian who knew that beatings cause kidney failure.

 It is not natural or normal for a character who is primarily interested in doing these things to know how they work.

 This is not information you find by looking for how torture was performed. It’s not even information you find by looking for how survivors heal.

 It’s information you wrench out in a hundred pieces over years of reading history, psychology, survivor accounts, medicine, scientific journals and the work of people actively trying to stop torture.

 In other words; not the sort of thing a ‘lone wolf’ terrorist type character would think to look for or find.

 If I’ve made it look as though coming by this knowledge is easy let me disabuse you of that notion. I can do this because I have spent decades building up this knowledge and because I read very widely. Much of my knowledge has not come directly from my obsession with torture but from reading widely enough to apply ideas from different disciplines to the topic.

 Frankly I don’t think anyone looking up torture devices would find any accurate information about torture at all.

 I also think that trying to give a character like this so much unusual knowledge is suggesting that torturers (or in this case abusers) are smarter, more ‘competent’ and controlled then they actually are.

 People like this do not know the effects of what they’re doing. Half the time they don’t even know the basics beyond ‘this hurts my victim’ and ‘if I do it too long they’ll die’.

 They often carry on to the point that disabling injury or death is likely.

 This sort of character really misrepresents torturers by propping up the idea that they’re somehow specialists. It is buying in to and backing up the puffed up machismo torturers spout.

 This isn’t close to a realistic torturer.

 The research we have on torturers is currently lacking but if you want to engage with the subject here are some typical traits:

Development of common psychological symptoms as the character tortures others

Loss of prior skills

Strong connection to a group of torturers who become the character’s entire social circle

Unhealthy competitiveness which turns abuse into a competition

‘Hyper-masculinity’ which equates worth and manhood with violence (not necessarily a feature prior to becoming a torturer but appears constant in torturer-sub-groups across countries and cultures)

Reduced ability to relate to others, lack of insight into their crimes

Often a delusion that torture is effective, even when confronted with constant evidence that it is not

Constant, justifiable, fear that other torturers will turn on them

Arrogant delusions about their own worth and value

Mood swings

Self centred

 These people do not look like intelligent lone wolf ‘psychopaths’. They look like anti-social, asshole trauma survivors with awful political opinions.

 If you want to write a serial killer-type character there is not necessarily anything wrong with that.

 But there are big differences in the way these people operate and the scale of violence to which they are exposed.

 One of the torturers Sironi interviewed during her work was involved in the torture and murder of an estimated 13,000 people over a period of about two years. Those are not unusual figures.

 Is that really what you’re trying to write? Because if it isn’t then you haven’t grasped the magnitude of what you suggest when you use the word ‘torture’.

 If you want to write a torturer who isn’t typical there is not necessarily anything wrong with that.

 But if you’re doing that you can not assume your audience knows what is actually typical, and the ways you choose to depart from reality are not necessarily neutral. Think about what the unusual elements you include imply.

 And if any part of that implication is the idea that this particular torturer-character is somehow ‘better’, ‘smarter’ or ‘more capable’ then understand that you are supporting the kind of delusions of grandeur that real torturers use to justify their crimes.

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Disclaimer

[the-orangeauthor]

Its that time of year again, A level results are coming out!!

So everything is a little weird this year with exams being cancelled due to COVID-19 and all, but you're all still getting graded and universities are still processing your applications the same way.

I've seen a lot of people asking around about what to do if you've failed a class and

I am an expert ~

When I did my GCSEs I got 4 As, 4Bs, and 2Cs, I did pretty good. When I did my A-levels I got a C in psychology, a D in biology and an E in chemistry. My predicted grades where AAB respectively. I had an offer to study medical genetics at Queen Mary, a russel group university.

The morning of results day, both of my offers were retracted and I was put into UCAS clearing.

Did I cry? Yes

Did I keep crying? Sporadically throughout the day, yes.

At this point you will probably have no idea what to do, but fear not, for I did plenty of research.

Tally up your points

Even if your grades are low, they still carry a certain amount of UCAS points, see how many you have altogether, you'll need ghis for the next step.

Use a course finder or UCAS clearing or go direct to university websites.

I prefer to use a course finder website - theres dozens of them out there with various filters - and type in the course you want to do.

If the title of you degree is very specific, consider a broader term. For example, at Queen Mary I applied to medical genetics, but I extended my search to all biomedical science degrees.

Check the entry requirements

During clearing, many university's will look at your point total rather than individual grades by this point, so its handy to have that on hand as well as your individual grades if you take it further.

Pick A Few Options!!!

Make a note of univeristies that have the best options. Remember, you still need to consider:

Travel

Accommodation

Costs

Course specification

Optional modules available

Is the course accredited by major institutions? (Make sure thats a YES)

And any other personal requirements you may need

Make some calls!!!!!

For the final step, call up all your options, ask them if they have space for you, see if you can get any wiggle room.

Do not be afraid to do a foundation year, it can only improve your knowledge and understanding.

I was bummed to be doing one initially but it actually really helped prepare me fornuniveristy life since one of my main setbacks during A levels was mental health.

Start an application at the various universities, and once you've confirmed that you can get a place at them, have a look through each one again and pick your favourite.

Remember, you dont have to do this all in one day.

I took a place at Greenwich univeristy but their campus was 3 hours from my house and I was unable to get accomodation.

In september, the week before I was supposed to enroll, I changed to London Met and I'm so glad I did.

Please remember that bad results don't mean you wont acheive your dreams, it just means you have to find a new way to get there. You will be okay.

Feel free to ask questions, and reach out. And dont be afraid to take aome time to feel sorry for yourself. A bad grade is terrible and its gonna suck, but it doesnt mean you should stop there.

Happy course hunting!

[aridara]

@truehosffanatic (who is in the notes of this post about abortion):

it doesnt matter about being forced or not

False - it does. You claimed that Margaret Sanger promoted abortion because she was racist. Except that your accusation makes no sense: Sanger did NOT target black people. There literally was no racism involved.

She knew the history on African Americans and new at the time the level of education. They took advantage of a minority group in Hope’s to lessen them.

False. For starters, you have no evidence that Sanger deliberately targeted black people.

Second, and most importantly: making abortion legal and accessible doesn’t increase abortion rates. In fact, “making abortion legal + accessible” decreases the rate of unsafe abortions and increases the rates of safe ones; this means less complications like infertility and death.

And Sanger knew this.

Their racism is excused based on whether they’re successful or not?

No, Sanger’s racism isn’t excused. But making abortion accessible simply wasn’t racism. There was no attempt to reduce the Black population. In fact, Sanger tried to increase it.

Then mkie pence and conversion isnt homophobic.

Your argument makes no sense. The objective of conversion theraphy is to torture LGBT+ people, for no reason other that they’re LGBT+. And Pence knows this.

That’s homophobic.

He isn’t forcing you to change from being gay.

He’s simply torturing you because you’re gay. Which is STILL homophobic.

I dont know if you’re hard or reading so I’ll stress this one last time

rape is not good, rape is less than 1% of abortions

Irrelevant. You claimed that the only way someone can get pregnant is through consensual sex. You’re wrong; for example, both rape and in-vitro fertilization exist.

Also, 1% is NOWHERE near “we can ignore it”.

So in regards to the high majority of abortions, they are consentual, therefore the woman is 99.9999999 at fault for choosing to have sex. Why? Because that man could do nothing with her if she said no. It’s her fault for saying yes. If you say yes, you are at fault if you get pregnant. So stop repeating the same nonsense.

YOU are saying nonsense. In your scenario, the man could’ve said “no”. If he says “no”, the woman can’t do anything, no sex can happen, and there wouldn’t be any pregnancy.

According to your logic, the man is ALSO at fault. 50% of the blame.

So, since you believe that “you chose to have sex” means "you must lose your own bodily autonomy in order to preserve the life of the resulting fetus”, you must apply that same rule to the non-pregnant parent.

“I have a right to who uses my organs” first off you psychopath, that’s a fucking baby.

...And? Maybe you didn’t notice, but in this society where you live in, babies do NOT have the right to use other people’s organs without said other people’s consent.

Also, fun fact: anti-choicers believe that already-born babies do NOT have that right. Anti-choicers believe that only fetuses have that right.

YOU put them on your organs because YOU were the goofball who wanted to get laid. You don’t get to choose whether a child dies when you’re the reason they’re alive. That statement is the reason abortion is murder. They didn’t ask to be conceived. YOU did that.

As I said: let’s apply your logic to the non-pregnant parent.

BOTH parents are the reason why the fetus is alive. BOTH parents are responsible for the fetus’ conception.

Therefore (according to TrueHOSFfanatic), parents (pregnant or not) cannot choose whether the fetus dies; parents must ALWAYS choose the option that will guarantee the fetus’ survival.

Which means that, if the fetus needs some organs/tissues to survive, we can take them from the parent.

The fetus’s survival is completely dependant on the pregnant parent. By which I mean that, if the health of the pregnant parent worsens, the fetus’ survival is put at risk.

This doesn’t happen with the non-pregnant parent. If the health of the non-pregnant parent worsens, the fetus is completely unaffected.

Therefore, the non-pregnant parent cannot choose whether the pregnant parent dies and/or gets sick; the non-pregnant parent must ALWAYS choose the option that will guarantee the pregnant parent’s health (and, by extension, the fetus’ health).

That’s not your organs, that’s THEIR body.

In a pregnancy, the fetus is the one who uses the organs of the pregnant parent. The pregnant parent only uses their own organs. Don’t you know how pregnancy works?

Adoption is a thing.

Alright, try putting up a 3-months-old fetus for adoption. After all, you can put babies up for adoption, right?

You kill babies because you want to not because you need to. That doesnt even prove that adoption is NEEDED. You just proves my point that it isnt needed. That you just want it.

This mostly depends on what counts as “need”.

We’re talking about abortions, which involves people who are pregnant, but don’t want to. You want them to keep the pregnancy anyway. This means that, if you have your way, those people will face the effects of...

being pregnant;

against their will.

Do THOSE count as “need”? Remember - the side effects and risks of forced blood/bone marrow/liver tissue donation are all vastly inferior to THOSE. Which means that, if THOSE do not count as a “need”, then “the side effects and risks of forced blood/bone marrow/liver tissue donation” also doesn’t count as a “need”.

And now that I just read it, are you that dumb? Abortion is FACTUALLY built on racism. It isnt a theory. It’s a historical fact that I researched. Because, you know, that’s a thing that very few people do these days.

Your research is shit. We know this, because you claim that Sanger deliberately tried to reduce the Black population. The problem: Sanger 1) used tactics that increased the Black population; and 2) used tactics that she was 100% sure they would’ve increased the Black population.

So you deny facts based off of your own opinions, consider unborn children criminals for being PLACED in your womb by your choice.

This bit is contradictory nonsense, for two reasons.

One: in this society, there is pretty much no circumstance where already-born Person A is allowed to use Person B’s organs/tissues without Person B’s consent. In particular, if B deliberately caused a situation where A’s only options are “use B’s organs to survive” and “die”, A STILL cannot use B’s organs without B’s consent. Person A is not a criminal; but they can’t use Person B’s organs without B’s consent.

So, your “children should be allowed to use the pregnant parent’s organs without the parent’s consent” contradicts the rest of reality.

Second: if the pregnant parent must sacrifice their own bodily autonomy because “you chose to put the child in your womb”, then the non-pregnant parent must ALSO sacrifice their own bodily autonomy. After all, they ALSO chose to put the child in that womb.

The fact that you repeatedly blame the pregnant parent but try to spare the non-pregnant one is inherently contradictory.

And without reading I already know you’re going that it’s a living being inside you because I’ve never met an abortionist that researches information or understands science. The fetus is living. Science itself has told us this repeatedly. Honestly I can’t imagine boldly saying “that’s wrong” to a nondisproven fact.

Fun fact: I do acknowledge that a fetus is alive. I simply don’t see why is it relevant. Already-born babies are alive, and yet THEY don’t get to use someone else’s organs without said someone’s consent.

So, evidently, just being alive doesn’t magically give you the right to ignore someone else’s bodily autonomy.

Like abortions racist history or a fetus being alive. It’s like you never used Google at all. You just make an assumption and go “yup. That right to me.”

I’m sorry, were you saying something relevant?

Oh. It’s also scientifically and medically proven that very few women are harmed or die of birth every year due to advancing medical technology. I’ve studied this crap kid, theres a whole list of information on my Instagram about it.

There is a slight problem. Your statistics are about pregnancies in general. But there’s two types of pregnancy:

Pregnancies where the pregnant person wants to keep the pregnancy.

Pregnancies where the pregnant person doesn’t want to keep the pregnancy. The abortion debate involves only the pregnancies in this group.

Is that a problem? Yes.

For starters, when a pregnancy starts to go really bad, people generally decide to abort it. Therefore, unsalvageable pregnancies (like those who causes harm or death) tend to go in group 2. Your statistics, instead, are about pregnancies in general.

The truth is, 1. Historical fact, abortion was built with racist hopes and intent.

False.

2. Baby is alive.

True, but irrelevant. Being alive doesn’t magically give you the right to ignore other people’s bodily autonomy. Hell, being a living BABY doesn’t magically give you the right to ignore other people’s bodily autonomy.

Abortion isnt NEEDED its wanted. You proved that yourself.

What are you on, and can I try some.

It’s funny how you all cry when men try to have a say on abortion, but wanna include them when you’re being blamed.

This is nonsense. “Abortion” and “sex” are two different things. You’re trying to blame women for sex, but not men - which is completely absurd.

When you can logically prove that a man should be considered when it comes to the female stupidity of giving consent and getting pregnant, when you can prove any of your stupid points, then maybe I’ll even consider you being right.

In your scenario, the man consented to the sex and caused the pregnancy. Boom, done.

Also, funny how you berate women for daring to have sex. Real progressive of you.

That’s what separates you and me. I have loads of scientific and historical evidence in links and pdfs to back all my claims up. You don’t

I have a blog and the ability to post this in public.