#and especially when it is such a sensitive topic. at best it's tone deaf at worst it's straight up hate. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whitleyschn33 · 3 years

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Nitpick November: 02

For a series that hosts a backstory built on two gods, and the main villain + her main rival once taking up the mantles of gods, Remnant sure has... no explicit religious expression in it’s world and cast (or at least, not any that are fleshed out). This is a very sensitive topic, I know, and I’m going to try to be as respectful as possible, so please let me know if I’m mistaken or say something potentially offensive.

This is a nitpick mainly coming from V4′s A Much Needed Talk. In Exposition Dump The Episode, Qrow says this:

Qrow: Not many people are super religious these days.

Qrow caps and sets the flask down.

Qrow: This world's been around for a long time, long enough that people have created dozens of gods. But if you believe Ozpin, two of them are actually real.

So, religion isn’t as prevalently practiced, okay - but why do we see no references to in-world religion at all before this, or much at all after this? It seems weird that Remnant is so utterly devoid of any kind of faith in the first three volumes. This is a world with seemingly scientifically acknowledged souls, man-eating monsters drawn to negativity, unique superpowers born from the soul that not everyone gets to discover - and we get no flavor text on how the people of Remnant have come to explain and find meaning in these? We hear that there are dozens of gods that have been worshipped over time, and we never hear about any of them? No stories of being blessed with Aura, of gods leading humans to the first Dust deposits, of being spared from Grimm attacks that should have be all means killed them by a benevolent goddess or spirit, of powerful Semblances being gifts from the divine to protect the faith and the family? Even if being openly religious is fairly rare in the present, shouldn’t there still be holidays, religious observances, turns of phrases referring to gods or holy scripture, references to religious stories, even just small signs of familiarity with a faith in something beyond the physical?

And before you bring up the crosses on Ruby and Qrow’s designs - that’s another problem I have with Remnant’s religion/lack thereof. Why would they wear crosses? Christianity shouldn’t be a thing in Remnant, and while you could argue that the cross is such a... relatively simple symbol (in terms of design!) that it could easily be repurposed for another narrative, it’s so heavily associated with Christianity and such a integral part of the faith that appropriating it for a fictional religion without proper care strikes me as tone-deaf at best and deeply offensive at worst. On one hand, RT thankfully didn’t craft any kind of in-world explanation for the crosses, but on the other... they didn’t give any reason for them to be design aspects, especially when they don’t really need to be there. Ruby’s cloak pins could have been any shape, and Qrow’s necklace would have been of his emblem, something related to Oz or Signal Academy, or of something relating to the two brothers to hint at his own faith in the gods that he’s been told are true. There was no need to make it a cross beyond referencing real world religious associations.

Side note, speaking of the two brothers - and here is where things dip out of nitpick territory into some heavier stuff, but I’ve been wanting to talk about this for a bit so I’ll slap it here - I also dislike the implication that they’re gods that have been worshipped in Remnant currently/in the recent past of Humanity 2.0. There’s no reason for why this version of Humanity would know about the brothers at all, unless Oz tried re-establishing this religion in the past. It would seem more likely, after the Lost Fable, that Oz and Salem would be the worshipped gods representing life and death through the simultaneous prosperity of their kingdom vs bringing death and war to their neighbors.

There’s also the uneasy implications of one particular religion in Remnant being established as “true” and the others as “wrong”, that ironpines has pointed out in the past. While I don’t like the idea of the brothers being worshipped at all in Remnant as we know it because I don’t think it makes sense after a full population reset, I think something along the lines of (from my very limited understanding of it, please let me know if I’m just completely off base because my SO Asian Religions professor was the worst I’ve ever had) how the gods in Hinduism are portrayed would have been less insensitive - that they are increasingly specific aspects of a supreme being worshipped in the specific capacity that those who worship them require for their needs. Ancient Greece, for another example, didn’t have that kind of increasingly selective gods and goddesses, but they did have divine epithets that indicated in what capacity the deity was being worshipped; Greeks gods had multiple fields and aspects to them, and an epithet can show what part of their domain a worshipper is worshipping them in.

So, for the brothers, if Oz did indeed reintroduce the religion in an early attempt at unity/to pull people away from Salem and his old reincarnation, other religions that developed in Remnant could be based on that religion, with the domains of the gods becoming increasingly worshipped for specific aspects of their domains, and soon becoming a separate deity in their own right of those domains (this is something theorized to have happened with a lot of ancient religions, gods spawning off of an older deity to be worshipped in a more specific capacity. Like, Pan and Hermes are theorized to have once been the same, but separated into their own gods as the needs of the people changed). This would make it less “there’s only one real god/faith” and more “these are all true, but there’s also more to the picture”.

But back to more nitpicky, less heavy territory - I think it could have been a good world-building tool, having religion be used as a way to define our main and supporting cast, as well as giving us different perspectives on how different communities of people in Remnant view the Grimm, Dust, Aura, and souls. Pyrrha seems to take an almost religious view of Aura, with her speech as she unlocks Jaune’s aura seeming very similar to a prayer, while the development of a machine that can transfer Aura suggests Ironwood and Atlesian scientists take a more secular viewpoint. The donning of a Grimm mask by Raven, without being connected in any way to the White Fang, combined with that she and Qrow are from a “tribe”, made me think there might be humans out there that have a different perspective on the Grimm, seeing them as beings worthy of respect for their prowess, or as symbols of power for being able to defeat one or for aligning themselves with the power of the Grimm, or even as a symbol for the bandit tribes symbiotic relationship with them - the bandits’ increasing negativity to lure Grimm to human settlements, and the panic caused by Grimm attacks making looting settlements easier. Characters could pray to gods or goddesses for protection, for strength, for guidance to their Semblance, the truest expression of their soul and therefore a very fertile ground for religious connotations, or aid in battle through luck or Aura. There’s just a lot you could do with a world like Remnant that I’m sure people more creative than me could come up with, and it just feels like a lost opportunity.

#rwby #rwde #nitpick november #religion

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local-ground-apple · 4 years

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May i request for some headcanons on how riddle,azul,vil and malleus would react to a fem!s/o who’s an insanely good badminton player. Would they support her during her games? Would they attempt to play with? How would they react when she dominates the court against both NRC and RSA has students?💛

I love this request~~~!! 💛 💛 It was fun to write. Pardon me for starting with Malleus

🐲 at first he didn’t understand the hype behind sports, especially badminton. But when you shyly invited Malleus to come cheer for you and give you mental support on your match, he was…overjoyed,

,,Could you, perhaps, if you have time, of course....come to my badminton match?”

Malleus: *happy invited noises*

🐲 needless to say, he and his Diasomnia squad who tagged along had the front row all to himself. People politely moved away from his intimidating aura. The mere fact that Malleus Draconia came to sport competition shocked absolutely everyone, including Crowley,

🐲 he was awkward at first, not really knowing how he should behave. Malleus is royalty after all and he has a certain image to maintain. But for you, just seeing his gentle smile and feeling his eyes fixated on your form is more than enough to give you mental support,

,,Ufufufu~~ Sebek, mayhap you could show Malleus how cheering looks like?” “Yes, Lilia-sama”

🐲 you had undoubtedly the loudest cheering out of all contestants and to think that it was just one person. Sebek’s screaming woke up Silver who almost had a heart attack, Malleus took mental notes to always bring Sebek with himself on your next matches, while Lilia was wheezing

,,Y/N-SAMA DESTROY THEM. ARAHHHHH YOU GOT IT”

🐲 Lilia is the definition of “You’re doing amazing sweetie” taking multiple pictures of you,

🐲 after a match, practically deaf Malleus came to see and gently took you in his arms, tightly hugging you, as his hands gently caressed your back. He’s softly whispering how good you were,

,,Malleus I’m sweaty” “You were absolutely amazing, darling” “Malleus-“ “Your skills are truly admirable, you were able to defeat every team. I’m overflowing with proudness” “You’re not listening, right?”

🐲 Malleus wasn’t surprised you had dominated the court and crashed RSA and NRC students. After all, you’re an endearing human who has great badminton skills,

🐲 Malleus may have hard time trying to express his support for you, but he truly does his best. After each game, he makes sure to tell you how much he loves you, how amazing you were, all that while showering you with gentle kisses,

🐲 after long pestering and Lilia’s interference, Malleus finally agreed to play with you. You soon regretted this,

🐲 Malleus claimed that he had never tried this game before (which was true) and he asked you to show him some basic moves and practice them with him until he got a grasp of them. He swore he wouldn’t be using any magic for his own benefit (he’s a man of his word)

🐲 you forgot that he’s an ancient fae, whose senses are more sensitive than yours. Malleus is faster and has better reflexes than humans, so after five minutes you were having a hard time keeping up with him,

,,You’re a fast learner” “Oh, Lilia used to say this to me all the time” “YAH, Malleus play like human”

🐲 Lilia was quick to remind him to tone down his abilities,

🥀 Riddle is very supportive, he’s your fan number #1. He may not show it in front of everyone, but he’s always cheering for you and crossing his fingers that you will win,

🥀 your personal hype squad that Riddle always drags with him to your matches is the definition of chaotic support. Cater takes pictures of you while screaming at the top of his lungs “Y/N-CHAN DESTROY THEM” . Ace and Deuce are chanting your name while holding big ass banners of you. Trey is definition of “you’re doing great sweetie” and he has a water bottle as well as healthy snacks prepared for you after the match. Riddle is aggressively clapping and soon he joins the first years,

🥀 you have a celebration tea parties a lot. A LOT. After each match Riddle has always prepared something for you,

🥀 Riddle showers you in compliments after each won game. If you somehow lose one, he’s there with strawberry tarts and fine tea to cheer you up,

🥀 he is beaming with proudness when you win against every team and snatch the first price. He won’t shut up about this for weeks. Literally,

🥀 Riddle lets you train in Heartslabyul gardens. If you need a professional couch or another player, he will gladly arrange that for you. He sometimes watches you practice, admiring your passion and dedication,

🥀 at first, Riddle was rather reluctant to play badminton with you. You assured him with a playful smile that you would be lenient with him. Surprisingly, Riddle really enjoys your small match and shyly asks you for another round. You happily agree,

🥀 you both are often seen together playing badminton in Heartslabyul gardens and Cater always coos at how cute you both are,

🥀 pretty sure, Cater runs a fanpage of yours. You always get embarrassed when he floods you with your pictures and shows you how popular your fansite is,

,,Cater, I suggest you to refrain from making Y/N flustered, otherwise it’s off with your head”

🐙 Azul did his research when you briefly mentioned you’re playing badminton. He watched few videos, read rules of the game and generally familiarised himself with that discipline,

🐙 he’s really supportive, even though he’s not into sports. Azul won’t miss any of your games. Any.

🐙 expect him to sit in the front row with Leech twins. He may not be shouting and cheering loudly for you as Floyd does, but just a mere glance at this beaming with happiness octopus who clap for you is more than enough,

🐙 when you dominate the court and destroy both NRC and RSA students, he’s extremely proud and doesn’t even hide it. Azul is quick to sweep you off the ground and twirl you around, while pressing kisses all over you and breathing praises in between.

,,Azul, I’m sweaty” “I don’t mind” “Azuuul~~~”

🐙 Azul doesn’t excel at sports so he was more than reluctant to actually play with you. He’s clumsy and since you’re such insanely good player, he can’t help but feel insecure in your presence. Yet, you assure him that you will go easy on him and just teach him some basic moves

,,Come on, I will teach you~!” “I’m rather a busy businessman, angelfish” “I prepared a contract” “A contract, you say?”

🐙 let’s just say, you promised that for each point Azul gains, you would give him a kiss,

🐙 Leech twins will be having the time of their life catching discreet glances from bushes at the two of you trying to play. When they see clumsy Azul desperately trying to score at least one point, while you casually block each of his attacks, they can’t help but burst in laughter

🐙 Azul may say it loud, but he does enjoy those little playing sessions. It’s a nice alternative from his usual routine and may I say, he finds you absolutely stunning when you play,

👑 he’s your hype man#1

👑 you will be the best dressed badminton player ever. Vil likes to make you try multiple tennis skirts, shorts, tops and t-shirts to find the best one. You’re the only female around, so obviously you have to look the best,

👑 you wear designer clothes and Vil is certainly doting on you right before the match, wanting to make sure you would look absolutely stunning in every moment of the game,

,,Vil, don’t apply make-up on me, it will get smeared and I will be sweaty” “Trust me darling, when I apply it, it won’t smear at all”

👑 he was right. You came to the match in impeccable outfit, with flawless, delicate make-up and perfectly styled hairstyle. No one would look better than you,

👑 Rook for sure is taking pictures of you from trees, while Epel is the photograph on the land. Vil has a whole album from your different matches,

👑 Vil absolutely savors the moment when you dominate the court against RSA and NRC students, especially if Neige is playing too. He’d be like: “everyone, this is MY girlfriend!!”, Let’s just say he will be boasting about your success everywhere, casually bringing this topic,

👑 Vil is rather organised and after a won match he has everything prepared. Healthy snack to rebuild your energy? checked. Small make-up bag to brush up any eventual imperfections? checked. Some towels so you could sweep off sweat? checked. Water bottle? checked.

👑 Vil won’t hug you though, not until you take a shower. But he will immediately praises and compliment you, while he’s fixing your hair

,,You did amazing, darling. I enjoyed the look of absolute defeat on Neige’s face when you crushed them”

👑 Vil knows that you’re the best, but he’s sure you could be even better. There’s always room for improvement, right? He’s in charge of your diet, making sure you’re eating healthy food. Vil even planned your trainings, gets a coach for you and ensures you attend them,

👑 he acts like your stylist, coach, dietician and boyfriend - all in one,

👑 Vil agreed to play with you, saying it’s a nice break from his usual exercises. After he got a hang of it, it turned out he’s actually pretty good and you’re often seen playing some matches together. Rook always appears out of nowhere and coos that you’re both the most beautiful badminton couple ever,

,,Mon lapin!!! Quelle beauté!!!” “Rook, stop being so close to her!”

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rethesun · 3 years

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there is a difference between speculating opinion and facts

Just when I think I've seen and heard enough, Twitter/TikTok "logic" strikes again.

I read an extensive post about Harry's gender and sexuality back in June. @genuineconspiracy originally made the post. So thank you to Genuine Conspiracy for your take, and thank you to Tumblr and my IRLs and my psychology major as well for further education. In regards to Harry I added my commentary on the post after learning more.

Plain and simple:

It is not inherently disrespectful to wonder about someone's gender or sexuality. However, how people go about claiming without knowing someone + not having permission from the subject to say so is disrespectful.

Exclaiming to speculate about someone's identity is outrageous denotes a tone of phobia and implies that het/cis is the default when it is not.

Adding a note here: If you find that someone is wondering about another person's sexuality okay but not about said person's gender, you may have some underlying transphobia to address and vice versa.

I've made my point above, but I'd further like to elaborate on two exhaustive points.

1. Again, I do not particularly appreciate how many people on TikTok and Twitter make posts like this. I do try to give people the benefit of the doubt first. However, it’s perhaps due to boredom, escapism, and seeking attention. I get this pandemic, and life is challenging to cope with, but it's not healthy to treat people like this. Be better than the trashy dehumanizing celebrity magazines. I haven't commented on this directly before because getting into social media drama is like trying to save a sinking ship. It’s better to pick your battles and maintain boundaries with social media. Yet, it doesn’t change that it’s sad to see the behavior encouraged and normalized because many have become desensitized so we shrug at it.

Frequently, it's true that these posts are for personal gain and are not coming from an innocent place. Ideally, people would have genuine, respectful commentary, e.g., "I'm happy for that person either way, and I have no way of knowing for certain if my speculations are true, but this is what it made me think of because of XYZ. What are your thoughts?" The behavior tends to go both ways. One person of many on TikTok is claiming something. At the same time, many on Twitter are saying all sorts of tone-deaf or even phobic things.

Again, assuming that Harry or anyone chooses specific colors, lyrics, clothing, for anything, further from "it is a coincidence" that is somehow "far-fetched." As though to imply that heteronormativity and being cis is the default or it’s taboo/wrong when it is not.

2. I'll use Harry's words to finish this and not just my own clouded rambling biases.

When asked about the Fine Line album art in this Guardian interview,

Int: I suppose my only question, then, is about the stuff that looks like clue dropping. Because if you don't want people to care, why hint? Take the album sleeve for Fine Line. The design seems to gesture at the trans and bisexual pride flags with its horizontal pink and blue stripes and a splash of magenta. Which is great – unless the person behind it happens to be a straight dude, sprinkling LGBTQ crumbs that lead nowhere. Does that make sense?

Harry: "Am I sprinkling in nuggets of sexual ambiguity to try and be more interesting? No." As for the rest, he says, "in terms of how I wanna dress, and what the album sleeve's gonna be, I tend to make decisions in terms of collaborators I want to work with. I want things to look a certain way. Not because it makes me look gay, or it makes me look straight, or it makes me look bisexual, but because I think it looks cool. And more than that, I don't know, I just think sexuality's something that's fun. Honestly? I can't say I've given it any more thought than that."

Because I'm only human, even if anyone besides Harry said this, I still have the same response: part of me personally says ouch because many people have oppressed identity and wouldn't casually call it "just fun" and something "Honestly? can't say I've given it any more thought.” More than that, the other part doesn't want to assume anything. I respect what he says because a. Harry has the right to privacy, and he's in the spotlight, so if he's choosing to be vague, that's valid too. b. If that's his unfiltered raw answer, in general, I don't ever want to invalidate anyone's experience and feelings on something personal, especially when Harry was willing to share some thoughts about it in the first place. I also don't want to stigmatize these topics in any way further. Talking about queerness taking up space as casually as hetero/cis embraced life is right and validates many people.

In the midst of me trying to be respectful and not invalidate anything I just remembered this comment: ‘everything gets watered down in the press so what you see is the non-potent version of reality’ which came from Rebecca Ferguson’s twitter two days ago. So, no need to be black and white about things.

Finally, when the discussion was close to wrapping, the interviewer asked if Harry minded any of the questions before they stood up. Harry's reply is straightforward.

Harry: "What I would say, about the whole being-asked-about-my-sexuality thing – this is a job where you might get asked. And to complain about it, to say you hate it, and still do the job, that's just silly. You respect that someone's gonna ask. And you hope that they respect they might not get an answer."

In conclusion, it is best not to assume and hold false entitlement to someone's identity if we do not fully know + have permission to. Furthermore, be aware/sensitive of how you word your opinions. All in all, If you do respect people enough to ask, be prepared not to receive an answer or the one you prefer to hear.

#harry styles #iconic quote #you respect that someone's gonna ask. And you hope that they respect they might not get an answer #sexuailty #gender identity #fine line #queerness #there is no need to be black and white about things #source: me #lgbtq+#rethesun

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milkchu · 5 years

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❝anyway the wind blows❞ three.

Summary: (Y/N) Mercury’s journey of love, fame, and pain, alongside what would become one of the most legendary bands ever, Queen.

Pairing: Borhap!Queen x Reader, eventual Brian May x Reader

A/N: quite a long chapter here lmao. and this is where it all begins !!! happy reading! 💓

Warnings: Swearing, some suggestive themes.

{previous chapter} {next chapter}

“Don’t you think I sound like shit?” You huffed.

“No, it’s good,” Brian nodded.

“Can we try it again?” You looked over to RT.

“Sure, yeah,” RT replied, before you immediately left the room, “Sure, it’s your money.”

John, who was beside him, sighed, “Literally.”

You are mine I possess you,

I belong to you forever. . .

Ever. . .

After hearing the redone recording that part, everyone still looked quite unsure.

“Sounds a lot better,” John said.

“We need to get experimental.” Brian looked over to you.

You paced a bit before finally getting an idea, “Try bouncing us left and right for the ah-ah-ahs.”

RT puts his hand up in agreement before altering the recording.

You then faced back towards your boyfriend, who was sitting on the couch, then shot him a small smile.

You are mine I possess you,

I belong to you forever. . .

Ever. . .

You then point and sway your finger around in tune with eh ah-ahs, Your three other bandmates at the edge of their seats.

Brian stood up, “Now dead center for the last.”

“And blast it!” Roger also stands up, shooting a fist in the air.

Brian nods and smiles at the result as you put your hand on his shoulder and shot him an excited grin.

After that, it just went crazy.

Swinging the loudspeaker around while Brian played,

Roger drumming on multiple kitchen pots and kettles

Pretty sure RT was tired but he still went with it.

“Do we have time to stack a few more?” You leaned over the recording panel.

“The studio opens at eight, so we got thirty more minutes.” Before RT could even finish his sentence, you all went back inside the booth.

Roger drumming with coins on top,

Putting a tambourine and a maraca inside of a piano,

Oh, it was experimental, all right.

Little did you know, while you were all busy inside the booth,

“Oi, RT, who are these kids in the box?” A man in a well-dressed suit walked inside the room.

“Uh. . . a student band doing some weird stuff.” RT replied, clearly wanting to go home.

“How about demos? You got some?” The man stared at you lot in amazement.

RT let out a sigh, “Been up all night, mate.”

You were happy to say that finally making your ever first album was satisfying, but was a bitch to record, especially with your three lads, but you still loved them.

After some time, you decided to propose the idea of a new band name. Your bandmates felt iffy about it but after some puppy-eyes and screaming, they finally gave in.

You lie down on the bed, finally finished with the new design you drew for the band’s new name.

Matthew then comes out of the bathroom, buttoning his shirt, “So, the new name is Queen?”

“As in, Her Royal Highness,” You say in a ‘posh’ tone, “And because it’s outrageous, and I can’t think of anyone more outrageous than me.”

He then joins you in bed, “This is the most impractical bed,” Matthew chuckled.

You look up at the piano you placed above the mattress, reached up, and began playing a tune that’s been on your mind for a long time.

As you were playing, Matthew looked over to you and smiled, “That’s beautiful.”

After finishing the tune, you tilted your head, “Think it has potential.”

Matthew then looked over to you, and looked into your eyes.

You then leaned closer, capturing his lips in a kiss that was getting heated pretty quickly.

You then started to lean over him, before he pulled away gently.

“I’m going to be late!” He let out a soft laugh. You smirked, and got off him.

Looking over to Matthew, who was putting on the rest of his clothes in front of the mirror, you couldn’t help but wonder,

“How did I get so lucky to have you?” You pondered out loud.

Matthew then looked over to you through the mirror’s reflection and gave you one of his smiles that sends your heart beating so fast.

Then came the day of your birthday, also the first time you will meet Matthew’s mother, who was deaf and mute.

You also invited your three best friends along. Roger bringing a random girl, of course.

Currently, his mother was telling a story about when Matthew was a child, even though he was protesting against it.

Matthew then interpreted what his mother was signing, “When I was a little boy, I used to run around the house and hide and she couldn’t find me.”

Your uncle smiled at her little story before she ended it, “Clever boy.” Matthew finished.

Brian, on the other hand, let out a small chuckle at Matthew’s mother’s story.

“Please tell your mother it’s nice to meet her,” You turned to your boyfriend.

Matthew nodded, “I have.”

“Then thank her for the lovely birthday cake,” You said, before Matthew replied again, “I have.”

“Then tell her his son’s an epic shag,” You whispered, sending your boyfriend a small cheeky smile.

Matthew’s smile then disappeared at your provocative comment, “(Y/N), she can read lips.”

You paused, then looked over to his mother, who looked like she definitely knew what you said to her son.

Your aunt then decided to break the uncomfortable silence, “Matthew, I can’t tell you how long I have waited for (Y/O/N) to bring home a nice lad like you.”

Matthew, along with your bandmates, looked at you in confusion in the mention of your real name.

“(Y/O/N)?” Matthew said, as confusion crossed his face.

“Did (Y/O/N) not tell you she was born in (Country)?” Your aunt asked.

Matthew then turned to you, “No, she did not.”

Your aunt sent you a disapproving gaze before she left the table to God knows where.

“I thought (Y/N) was born in London?” John asked.

“Oh, she was, at the age of eighteen.” Poppy jested, leaning over to you with a smug smile.

“Shut up,” You hit her shoulder softly.

Your aunt then came back with a huge photo album, “Here are some pictures.”

Oh shit, you know where this is going.

“Auntie...” You protested, “Auntie, Auntie, Auntie,” You stood up, trying to take the photo album away from her.

Matthew, along with your bandmates nodded in excitement, “Yes, please!”

When Matthew finally got a hold of the photo album, you sighed in defeat before your uncle started talking about how you moved to London, a story you’ve heard a million times so you just left the table and went straight for the nearby piano.

Matthew smiled at the many pictures of you when you were little.

While everyone was looking through them, Brian found a peculiar picture that sparked his interest.

It was a picture of you as a child, watching a woman perform in front of a relatively large crowd from what seemed to be backstage or the side of a stage.

Brian then showed the picture to your aunt, who was beside him, “What is this picture?”

Your aunt then turned to him, finally taking a look at the picture.

She was a bit hesitant, because this picture contained a very sensitive topic to it, especially to your family, but decided to tell Brian about it before she got interrupted by your uncle.

“That’s (Y/O/N)’s mother,” Your uncle started, the air getting a bit tense at the topic, “My sister, she died in a terrible car accident when (Y/O/N) was only eight years old.”

Brian then shook his head, feeling sorry, “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

Your aunt then decided to lighten the air, “She was a singer, a very good one at that! One of the best voices I’ve ever heard.”

You swore you felt your chest ache a little bit when they started to tell more about your mother to your friends.

“Happy birthday to me,” You began singing whilst playing the piano.

Happy birthday to me,

Happy birthday, Miss Mercury!

Happy Birthday to me!

Poppy then propped her elbow against the table, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, “Mercury?”

You then looked to the lot, “No looking back,” and back to your front, eyes coincidentally landing on a portrait of your mother, “Only forward.”

“So, now the family name’s not good enough for you?” Your uncle chastised.

Your aunt then tried to reason with him, “It’s just a stage name.”

“No, it’s not. I changed it legally, got a new passport and everything.” You disputed, in an almost monotone voice.

The air definitely became even more tense than it did before, your friends exchanging uncomfortable gazes.

To lighten the air, Matthew decided to chime in, “Poppy, how old were you here?” He pointed at a picture of you and little Poppy.

“Oh, I don’t know, it was before (Y/N) went off to boarding school,” Your cousin smiled.

“I sent (Y/O/N) away to make a proper behaved girl of her,” Your uncle began, “She was too wild and unruly, but what good did it do? Good thoughts, good words, good deeds.”

You internally rolled your eyes, and decided to sing and play more to sound him out, “I come from London town.”

Poppy then looked at her father with a frown, before running to the telephone when it started ringing.

“You can’t get anywhere pretending to be someone you’re not!” Your uncle’s voice raised.

You just continued singing until your cousin called you over, “(Y/N) Mercury. Phone call,” She gave you a smile.

You stopped playing, before walking over to the phone, “Quite like the sound of that.”

“(Y/N) tells me you’re some sort of a scientist?” Your aunt asked your curly-haired friend.

“Astrophysics, actually.” Brian said, as-a-matter-of-factly.

John then pointed over to Roger, “He’s a dentist.”

“I was never a dentist.” Roger replied.

“He’s a dentist,” John nodded to Brian.

Roger then rolled his eyes at his friend’s joke before turning to your cousin, putting at arm behind her chair.

“Poppy, what are you doing later?” Roger asked, softly.

“Homework,” Poppy answered, eyebrows furrowing at his sudden question.

Your uncle then cleared his throat, your other bandmates looking at the blond drummer in disapproval.

“I was just making conversation.”

“I see,” Hanging up the phone, you slowly walked back to the table, “I have an announcement.”

Everyone immediately stopped their own conversations and turned to look at you.

“One of the A&R men...from EMI saw us recording,” You began, “Gave our demo to John Reid.”

A smile began to appear on your lips, “He looks after Elton John.”

Your bandmates immediately became overwhelmed at the news, putting their hands to their mouths in shock.

“Mr. Reid wants to meet us, and possibly even manage us.” You grinned at your bandmates.

Everyone was having a positive reaction except for your uncle, who placed his hand on the picture Brian asked about.

Before you know it, you were walking through a building with an unusual white leather jacket that you found while shopping with Poppy.

Opening the glass doors, your eyes landed on a three familiar heads of hair, seated on a table.

As you walked over to them, Brian immediately commented, “Wow!”

“I didn’t know it was fancy dress, (Y/N)?” He raised his eyebrows at you.

You grinned and did a little twirl, “I’ve got to make an impression, darling.”

“You look like an angry lizard,” Brian jested, making your two other bandmates laugh.

“It’s your best work,” John said, as you took your seat.

“Very subtle,” Brian nodded, before John added, “You gonna fly away?”

Brian just gave you the cutest smile, chuckling at your boldness.

“Can I borrow it for Sunday church?” John joked, before a man suddenly took his seat at the other end of your table.

Realizing it was John Reid, all of you immediately adjusted your jackets, readying yourself.

He looked over to all of you, “So, this is Queen,” Then pointed a finger at you, “And you, must be (Y/N) Mercury. You’ve got a gift, you all have.”

“So, tell me, what makes Queen any different from all the other wannabe rock stars that I meet?” Mr. Reid asked.

“I’ll tell you what it is,” You began, “We’re four misfits, who don’t belong together, playing to the other misfits...”

Brian smiled and nodded at your statement before you continued, “The outcasts right at the back of the room who are pretty sure they don’t belong either.”

You then gestured your two fingers, “We belong to them.”

Reid nodded, immediately impressed.

“We’re a family,” Brian said, before Roger added, “But no two of us the same.”

Another man then put down a tea cup in front of Reid, “Paul,” He said.

“Paul Prenter, meet Queen… our new signing.” Reid gestured towards you all.

You all then looked at each other in disbelief before Reid continued, “Paul will be looking after your day-to-day.”

“Pleasure,” Paul nodded towards you all, his gaze, however stopping at you in particular.

“If I can get you on the radio, maybe, I can get you on television,” Reid said, before Roger added, “Top of the Pops?”

“Hopefully,” Reid responded before you twirled your finger, “And then?”

Reid scoffed, “And then? It’s only the biggest television program in the country, no one’s even heard of you.”

“Look, I admire your enthusiasm. If it goes well, if it happens, I’ve got a promotional tour in Japan in mind,” Reid explained.

You tilted your head, “We’ll want more.”

“Every band wants more,” Reid replied, before John decided to fire back,

“Every band’s not Queen.”

atwb taglist; @yoonlatte // @alexfayer // @everything-you-dont-wanna-be // @itsametaphorbriansblog // @marequeenii // @killer-queen-xo // @jedi-dreea // @achernarsaa // @nevaeh-potter15 // @banana-tree-freddiemercury // @rogertaylorssunglasses // @pyrotechnic789 // @mirkwoodshewolf

other tags; @icantgetnorelief // @b-hardys // @spideyyypeter // @hunterswearingplaid

#atwb #hardyzello #bohemian rhapsody #borhap #queen #queen band #brian may #brian may x reader #brian may imagine #john deacon #gwilym lee #gwilym lee x reader #gwilym lee imagine #gwilym lee as brian may #ben hardy #ben hardy as roger taylor #joe mazzello #joe mazzello as john deacon

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distractedfanatic · 5 years

Text

Grey’s Talk + Real Talk

This delves into mental illness and it also discusses spoilers for Grey’s Anatomy 15x16.

Under cut for sensitivity and spoilers. This is also stupid (STUPID) long and I’m sorry but I needed to say it. Hopefully it finds the people who need to read it. 💗

[but seriously, it’s long]

Deluca’s Dad storyline was harder for me than I expected. And not for the reasons I thought. It was hard because I expected to be more conflicted and I felt guilty for how passionately sure I was about my reactions. I also feel that my strong (negative) opinions merit some explanation. Specifically, because my issue is not with his mental illness, but with the behaviour even (and especially) from the lens of mental illness. My possibly controversial stance is that mental illness is not an excuse. It’s a reason or perhaps an explanation, but it is not an excuse for treating people badly, for alienating people or for neglecting self-work and certainly not for abusive behaviour to people trying to help and support (and I know sometimes this is impossible. I get that.) But I do think Andrew’s Dad was manipulating him and it broke my heart to see Carina’s pain in this episode - give that woman a hug!

[Digression into some context building on my opinion....]

Mental illness is close to my life. It’s a personal struggle and journey for me and it is an active, constant, often painful commitment to remaining accountable for my actions and my relationships. It’s not easy, and it’s really not fair, BUT it’s my truth and I believe in the power of leading by example. So I don’t say it lightly that I believe mental illness is not an excuse and I believe I must out myself in order to take that stance. I cannot always control what I think or feel or even how I act. But I can control how I react to it after, how I approach damage control, how much accountability I take and how much power I give mental illness in exchange for wiping my hands of its destruction.

My easy days are what some would consider their hardest. It’s all on a spectrum. My reality allows me to see both sides clearer because I have such a stark comparison between good and bad, up and down. I refuse to give mental illness credit for the absolute beauty and gratitude I have for my life and my good days, so why would I blame it fully for my bad days. Giving an illness I did not ask for and cannot control, the power of saying it makes me who I am or it dictates my quality of connections is not worth it to me to be able to surrender to it and hide behind it and I owe it to myself and everyone else to embrace it and understand it so it does not control me. I do name it. I do speak it - but how that looks for me is not rooted in shame or manipulation, it comes from a place of honesty. Of “I’m not okay today and I can’t have this conversation”. Of “I wasn’t myself and I’m doing the very best I can”. I feel the responsibility I carry as a result of mental illness and I have deep respect for anyone who is doing their best - whatever that looks like. And I draw the line at painting myself a victim - it is a disservice to the honest to god work it takes to be a human with a mental illness in a world still not built for us. And these stories on Grey’s about parents with mental illness are tough for me because I recognize that I’m in the drivers seat and should I decide to raise kids I will need to hold myself even more accountable because the cards I’ve been dealt cannot be any child’s burden. But I also appreciate this is a deeply personal topic and I respect that other people may disagree - that is their right. This is simply my own truth.

[Back to Grey’s….]

When mental illness is depicted on TV that’s always risky. (Shout out to You’re the Worst and A Million Little Things for getting a lot of stuff right and being self-aware). My personal experience is also why I have SUCH a soft spot for Helen (or at least, the season 15 version of her). I’m so proud of her, if that makes sense. I’m happy for Alex to have this time with her as her best self, and I’m proud of her. I loved how in 15x15 they played with the audience and Alex’s perception of what mental illness looks like and what stability looks like.

It is a struggle to accurately portray these topics because it’s a struggle to actually live them, or to watch loved ones live them. On TV and in life, it’s hard to balance a fear that you or your loved one isn’t okay, but also be open that they are not defined by their illness and that it can (hopefully) be managed (by meds, therapy, alternative options, or a combination). That they are a person that is bigger than any illness. And the cruelty is that “okay” and “not okay” can look so very similar.

So in Helen’s situation the bar was set low for Alex and he’s seeing that she is doing okay, so maybe he can stop looking at her as someone to take care of and focus on building a relationship. Andrew is doing the same, in theory - even if I think his motivations are influenced by other factors. But I do think Helen and Dr. Deluca will be foils to each other here. Both struggle with mental illness, both have sons deeply impacted as a result. But are the outcomes going to be different?

But also, has Helen primed us to expect that he will be opposite. If she is stable, do we automatically expect him not to be? We do have it on good authority (Carina) that he isn’t as okay as he seems. How much are they playing with our perceptions and misconceptions about mental illness? I don’t know that. I also don’t know Dr. Deluca enough to know what his personality is. He does come across as quite intense from the get go - but I don’t want to unfairly assume this is nearing manic territory, when it could just be who he is: a passionate, excited doctor and father who may be a bit tone deaf as to the impact he’s had on his family. My gut feeling is he is not okay. Carina tells us he is not okay. Everything. EVERYTHING about her in this episode exudes pain and exhaustion and proof of how not okay he really is and how she is shouldering that burden - more so with Andrew not open to seeing her side.

Now, regarding the conversation between Deluca and his Dad - that I personally feel fueled Andrew’s desire to take his Dad’s side… As it was happening I wasn’t convinced he would go down that rabbit hole. So I’m kind of disappointed that’s what seems to have happened. But there was a very key connection that tells me this was intentional - and if that’s the case, it is a larger theme that needs to be explored between him and Mer.

In 15x12 when he’s getting frustrated with her hot and cold he says (I’m paraphrasing my ass off here) [“I thought you were so BEYOND me. But you’re not. You’re like a child”] -- say what you will about the validity or appropriateness of those comments. But he was tuning into a real feeling he was having and naming that he had felt undeserving of her, at least in part. He was giving us a window into an insecurity he may not even be fully aware of.

SO. To see his Dad echo that to the letter was very interesting:

VD - “I see you... but this woman of yours, she is beyond you.”

AD - “Wow... Thank you”

VD - “Andrea, even I have heard of Meredith Grey, all the way back home. She’s more than a beauty, she is brilliant.

AD - “Yeah, I’m aware”

VD - “So... then... we change the word together! We save the babies!”

If I’m correct in how intentional this was, then I 100% believe Deluca got hijacked by this nagging insecurity and is going full speed ahead, not only because he wants to give his Dad a chance or believes he is truly stable enough for this project (which may be true for all we know). But an additional, and perhaps more powerful motivator for Andrew is that if he can be part of medical history then he can meet Mer on the pedestal he has put her on - subconsciously or not.

My disclaimer to all this is that I do believe he is confident, and I’m aware he went after her first. But you can be confident and sure of an attraction and still insecure. You can be open to love and still be intimidated. He can feel all the things. I think the trouble will be if he is unaware that he is feeling them and therefore does not deal with them. And finally, if this is an issue that surfaces, and it’s not addressed, it could breed resentment and frustration on both ends - I do not want Mer taking this on as her own because she is not lording her power over him and in fact, she was concerned about that dynamic because she understands how hard it can be. My hope is that she recognizes it and can reassure him and he will find some solid footing in their relationship and with his Dad. If I didn’t love them so hard and love him so hard I’d probably enjoy seeing him all innocent and vulnerable, but I’m just scared he’s opening himself up to be heartbroken by his Dad. And I’m not sure I can handle that. haha. Finger crossed no matter what happens with the Deluca famjam, it only serves to bring Merluca closer. 🤞💗

I’m fascinated by where they could take all this. I’m cautiously optimistic that even if it goes sideways, they can still offer some valuable commentary on mental illness and the stigma around it.

I’m so excited to see the reactions from the rest of the fandom!

Sorry this got so real (and SO long). I just couldn’t talk about this episode without going into what is informing my thoughts. Talking about mental illness and mental health matters, and if my openness resonates with just one person, that’s enough. Everyone has light inside and it’s okay not to be okay. And for everyone else fighting this monster, and doing the very best to be your very best: I see you. You are not alone. 💗

#trigger warning #tw: mental health #grey's anatomy spoilers #grey's anatomy 15x16 #spoiler alert #okay not to be okay #you are not alone #real talk #mental illness #mental health #long post

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cometthespacechinchilla · 6 years

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Some people said they didn't brush runa issue aside and hinted at redressing it. What was said exactly?

So I don’t have access to that chapter anymore and I’m not going through 10/11 chapters to get the scenes specifically, but basically when Runa tells MC the gist is that MC can imagine a younger (19 year old) Runa casting a spell on Kamila, not thinking too deeply about the implications of what that entails. And beyond that, that’s about how deep they get.

They also only have Runa apologize to Kamila for leaving. She never apologizes for bespelling her in the first place or what emotional damage that itself may have caused. In the end, despite being the victim who is lashing out at the woman that raped her (and therefore even though that doesn’t excuse what she did, especially dragging innocent people into it, it does make her actions a lot more understandable than Runa wanting to take her down a peg), Kamila is the villain in the story.

It’s also tone deaf that Lucien tells MC that she should think of the kiss as something she was made to do, rather than something she did voluntarily.

Hmmmm... kinda like how everything Runa did took away Kamila’s free will.

The almost-sex-scene also highlights the fact that Runa doesn’t entirely understand consent. When you suddenly spring this on a person that you’ve kissed once (and didn’t check for consent then either), you need explicit, enthusiastic consent. Eventually MC gave it, but Runa already had her shirt off and it was pretty obvious she would have continued even if MC had stayed silent. What if she had been going along with it because Runa was unintentionally influencing her or she wasn’t 100% sure that this was a good idea? We the audience may know her thoughts, but Runa doesn’t. It’s really bad when I don’t have full confidence that Runa wouldn’t have kept going because anything less than a protest sounds to her like a green light.

And here’s the thing: Lovestruck ain’t the place to redress fucking rape. They can’t even address Atlas’s goddamn alcoholism even though they’ve had opportunities. Firstly, Lovestruck has shown a lack of sensitivity and nuance that dealing with rape entails. Secondly, the format of Lovestruck and how it’s supposed to be romance-forward doesn’t lend itself to someone accepting that they raped a person and attoning. If they want to do that then Runa should not be getting in any relationship for a goddamn while until she works through this and that timeline does not work for them. Yes, they deal with topics of abuse and alcoholism and other heavy topics, but this is entirely in its own category. Not only is rape is a beast to tackle in and of itself, it’s also something that will undoubtedly trigger a good portion of their audience. Even if they redeem her properly, do you honestly think a good percentage of your audience wouldn’t want to romance a former rapist anyway? It’s one thing to romance someone who was sexually abused and has to deal with that trauma. That can be understood. That can actually be helpful and encouraging for trauma victims, to be able to use their story to help them process and learn to handle their own trauma. But a rapist? At best, it’s neutral. Most likely, it’s damaging.

#i hope this answered your question #it got longwinded i'm sorry #and rambly because i'm exhausted #rape tw #sweet enchantments #anti runa #Anonymous

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ailuronymy · 6 years

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back when i first wrote wc fanfic i wrote cishet abled characters, and now after a few years of now writing i want to write again. but i'm so afraid of accidentally being transphobic when writing a trans cat coming to terms with their true gender or evoking a cliche i didn't know about when writing a lesbian couple... i want to write diverse characters but i also don't, what do i do?

My dear Ruddles, you are asking me one of the biggest and most unanswerable writing questions of all: how do I not be afraid? I want to know the answer as much as anyone, so I can’t help you there, but I can tell you some of my observations and thoughts on ways of working through these kinds of paralysing fears.

The first thing to understand is that there is no version of events where you are safe from criticism. There is no safe option, where if you only write that kind of character or that kind of story, you will be protected from having to experience criticism. I think you, like many people, have made the mistake of thinking that writing only able-bodied cishet characters will insulate you from criticism, whereas writing characters who aren’t able-bodied cishets will open you up to criticism. That thinking can make the idea of branching outside what you’re used to very daunting, because you feel more vulnerable.

However, that thinking is wrong. You are always vulnerable. I’m not saying that you scare you more, or make you anxious. This thought is a liberating one, if you approach it from the right angle! No matter what you write, someone is going to dislike it, or be totally neutral about it, or disinterested in it, or might even hate it. That’s just what it is to be a writer of any kind–or any kind of creator. If you want to be a writer, you’re accepting that you will be criticised at some point: it could be for good reasons, it could be for silly ones, it could be because someone decides they just really don’t like what you like to write. It doesn’t matter! It happens to everyone. You cannot please everyone and you don’t have to. You only need to do your best work. You need to love your work enough that someone else disliking it doesn’t make you love it less.

I had the opportunity some months back to go to a writers’ festival, and listen to a heap of extremely skilled, established creators (novelists, poets, performance artists, journalists, all kinds) show their work, talk about their process, and discuss certain themes and topics on panels. One panel was about the anxiety and uncertainty that’s part of writing. There was a lot said during this panel that really helped me personally and changed how I thought, but the most relevant bit for you was said by Omar Musa: “Accept that you will face criticism. That’s part of the job. That’s the game you’re in.”

When you decide what kind of character to write–i.e., between able-bodied cishet characters or a more diverse cast–you aren’t choosing between “no criticism” (able-bodied cishet) and “criticism” (diverse). You are simply shaping what kind of criticism you might receive. If you write only able-bodied cishet characters, the criticism you will get will reflect that: you will be criticised for your lack of diversity, your work might be called boring or derivative, you might be accused of -isms based on how a story built only with privileged characters takes shape.

If you write diverse characters, your criticism will reflect that: you will be criticised for including diversity (”why does everything have to be X these days???” or “I don’t understand why Y was there, it wasn’t plot-relevant”) or accused of pandering, you will be criticised for how you write these characters by people who might mean well but have only ever read stereotypes (”next time you write about X character, I think you should do it differently, I just don’t think it’s realistic that [some nonsense opinion]”), you will be criticised for how you write these characters by people who are similar to these characters but in all likelihood different people will probably give you totally different feedback and have different responses to your work (person one: “I didn’t like how you did X, it was uncomfortable for me”; person two: “I was really into how you did X and it resonated with me, it was fun to have a character I could relate to like that”), and so on.

When I think about this, it makes the choice easier: I would rather take criticism for attempting diversity than criticism for not even attempting it. What also makes all writing easier is remembering that, although it can feel very personal to be criticised for something you made, at the end of the day, it’s just a chunk of words. It’s not sacred. It’s not you. It’s a thing that you made, and if you made mistakes, next time around you can learn from it and do better. We can all change as soon as we choose to, and therefore a mistake who wrote isn’t who you always have to be. You don’t have to be perfect to be doing your best.

If you do your best before putting your work out into the world, you don’t have to worry. If you’ve done your research and had a beta/sensitivity reader (if you can, it’s not always possible and not always necessary for every piece of work) and genuinely tried to do good and respond appropriately to feedback along the way, you don’t need to fret. You might still get criticism and if you do, that’s good. Constructive criticism is an opportunity to grow; you can see it as a slight against you as a person or you can see it as a chance to improve as a writer and expand your worldview/knowledge. I can really recommend the latter.

I can also strongly recommend working to separate your feelings of self-worth from your writing as much as you can, because then you can disengage from criticism on a personal level and engage with it on a critical one. Not all criticism is useful or good or relevant! Some feedback you will get and laugh at. I don’t respond to/post most of the negative feedback I’ve received running this blog, but wowsers, do some people use some choice words about me! If you only receive criticism as personal, you will be tempted to believe all of it or value it more than it needs to be valued, whereas if you look at criticism with a critical eye, you will be able to judge what’s helpful, what’s nonsense, what’s worth listening to and learning from, what’s someone airing their personal grievances and has simply selected you as a target, and what’s totally tone-deaf and inappropriate.

Also, it’s okay to know your limits. You’re a growing writer. You’ve got a lot of experience yet to have. The weight of curing the whole world’s problems isn’t on your shoulders alone. You don’t have to do everything. You don’t have to try to represent everyone in every story you write. Some stories are going to have a central focus: it’s what you’re passionate about. It’s the story you need to tell, because you can’t get it out of your head. If you don’t have it yet, you can’t force it. I’ll find you, and in the meantime, have fun with writing! Practice new things. Build skills. Read a lot. Read diversely! Experience living in the world, because that’s probably the best way to grow as a person and a writer. That way, when you do find things that feel right and good and important to write about, you’ll be able to do them justice. I really feel there is something uniquely powerful about sincerity and love in a story–it shines through, and the writing is always better for it.

So, basically, to try to make a long story short:

1. you will be criticised. You can either accept that, or not write. You can go, “Okay, but criticism isn’t the end.” You can go, “I want to be a better writer, and that means doing new things even if it’s scary and I might make mistakes.” For me, the love of writing outweighs the fear of criticism. The idea that things might go right (if I try my best) is more powerful than the worry that they might go wrong.

2. writing is a hobby. It’s an art that you can practice and improve. It might feel important and central to who you are, but it’s a skill, like riding a bicycle or juggling. If someone tells you how to ride a bike better, you can either go, “That’s sensible, next time I ride a bike I’ll sit on the seat instead of running alongside the damn thing,” or you can go, “I’m a terrible fool for not knowing how to ride a bike, I will never ride a bike again because I am worthless and bad.” When you handle sensitive material about the real world and real people’s lives, it’s important to do everything you can beforehand to learn about how to ride a bike–but if you do mess up and run over someone’s toes or be a hazard in some way, don’t cling to your pride: apologise, learn, move on, do better.

3. never write anything out of a feeling of obligation or fear. You will do it badly, because it’s very hard to write anything you’re not personally interested and invested in. You might be feeling guilty for only writing a certain type of character, but unless you can shift that guilt to genuine excitement and desire to write different types of character, don’t bother! If you write out of guilt, it will be miserable for everyone, including yourself. Also, recognise that you can write certain types of character without having to engage with stickier issues that might come with the character type–i.e., you give the example of trans characters, but if you’re not trans, it’s not really your business writing in-depth about “the trans experience,” especially if you’re not already very familiar with it and involved in the community and confident in working in that area. You almost surely can’t do it justice and will stumble into problems and will likely receive some harsh, and probably deserved, criticism. The solution is to write about well-developed trans characters whose “trans journey” (or whatever you want to call it) isn’t a central focus of their story or characterisation, because they’re already living as/accepted as their gender, etc.!

I hope this is somewhat helpful to you, Ruddles, and I hope in the future you’ll find your feet writing more diversely! Try not to put too much pressure on yourself to begin with. Pick one new thing and explore that. There’s no hurry. You can get there in your own time. Good luck!

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kevindurkiin · 4 years

Text

Louis The Child Responds To Harsh Criticism Over Hitler Comments, Alison Wonderland Responds

Yesterday, Louis The Child became involved in a thread on Twitter with Alison Wonderland that made its way to a discussion on Hitler, using him as an example of letting go of hate in the name of personal mental health. While it’s a horrible, horrible example, LTC’s message was clear. Still, it didn’t stop EDM Twitter from passing around screenshots of the deleted tweets and calling them out for their tone deaf stance.

Late last night, the Chicago duo posted a short apology on the topic:

Louis the Child stands for love, inclusion, health, and making the best of the present moment. In no way do we support any form of hate past or present. We’re sorry for any pain we’ve caused and will always learn from our mistakes

— louisthechild (@LouisTheChild) May 6, 2020

Alison responded to the tweet, as the two apparently had a “long talk on the phone last night.” She says they didn’t understand the gravity of what they said at the time, but they now do. They want to move past the issue and remain as friends.

Had a long talk to LTC on the phone last night. I want everyone to know they were extremely sincere when reaching out & I don’t think the gravity of what was said was understood at the time, but it very much is now. We want to move on & we are still friends.

— ALISON WONDERLAND (@awonderland) May 6, 2020

While the apology aimed to reaffirm the values of the duo, and the talk resolved things with Alison, it did little to appease anyone else who found fault in their original statements.

Like, i know yall are just a couple of rich kids having fun with your parents money but maybe just shut the fuck up on things that you are ignorant about and learn how not to be a spoiled little racist fuck

— dont worry, i always have this cough (@bleepbloopbass) May 6, 2020

I’m putting on the yikes glasses pic.twitter.com/L3wdETZy63

— QUIET BISON (@thequietbison) May 6, 2020

Yo so which one wears the moustache

— monsieur le hab (@habstrakt) May 6, 2020

eye to real cruelty and evil, and a rosy outlook on everything just comes across as ignorance. i respect the message you all are trying to send, and support it – but especially when you’re artists of your size you should be mindful about how that message is presented.

— computer man 420 (@locacacas) May 6, 2020

for the people saying “you did nothing wrong!!” & “people are so sensitive.” please think about people that are affected by statements like “hate has no place here” when they’re part of marginalized communities have had to fight against systems built to kill or exclude them.

— -:- (@_tyler_tyler) May 6, 2020

Thanks for this apology but it’s very generic and doesn’t really show you’ve learned anything except how to delete tweets

— Hologram Gary (@munkeezrool09) May 6, 2020

This tweet aged so well and continues to grace us with its eloquence

— Ally Kattastrophe (@Kattastrophic13) May 6, 2020

Just saw the tweet, and as a north side Chicago born and raised resident I think you should have known better… not a good look. I think a lot of people can understand the point you were attempting to make, but that was the wrong person to make it with.

— Corey Rehbock (@coolest_cpa) May 6, 2020

This article was first published on Your EDM. Source: Louis The Child Responds To Harsh Criticism Over Hitler Comments, Alison Wonderland Responds

Louis The Child Responds To Harsh Criticism Over Hitler Comments, Alison Wonderland Responds published first on https://soundwizreview.tumblr.com/

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bestdjkit · 4 years

Text

Louis The Child Responds To Harsh Criticism Over Hitler Comments, Alison Wonderland Responds

Late last night, the Chicago duo posted a short apology on the topic:

— louisthechild (@LouisTheChild) May 6, 2020

— ALISON WONDERLAND (@awonderland) May 6, 2020

While the apology aimed to reaffirm the values of the duo, and the talk resolved things with Alison, it did little to appease anyone else who found fault in their original statements.

— dont worry, i always have this cough (@bleepbloopbass) May 6, 2020

I’m putting on the yikes glasses pic.twitter.com/L3wdETZy63

— QUIET BISON (@thequietbison) May 6, 2020

Yo so which one wears the moustache

— monsieur le hab (@habstrakt) May 6, 2020

— computer man 420 (@locacacas) May 6, 2020

— -:- (@_tyler_tyler) May 6, 2020

Thanks for this apology but it’s very generic and doesn’t really show you’ve learned anything except how to delete tweets

— Hologram Gary (@munkeezrool09) May 6, 2020

This tweet aged so well and continues to grace us with its eloquence

— Ally Kattastrophe (@Kattastrophic13) May 6, 2020

— Corey Rehbock (@coolest_cpa) May 6, 2020

This article was first published on Your EDM. Source: Louis The Child Responds To Harsh Criticism Over Hitler Comments, Alison Wonderland Responds

from Best DJ Kit https://www.youredm.com/2020/05/06/louis-the-child-responds-to-harsh-criticism-over-hitler-comments-alison-wonderland-responds/

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bluebuzzmusic · 4 years

Text

Louis The Child Responds To Harsh Criticism Over Hitler Comments, Alison Wonderland Responds

Late last night, the Chicago duo posted a short apology on the topic:

— louisthechild (@LouisTheChild) May 6, 2020

— ALISON WONDERLAND (@awonderland) May 6, 2020

While the apology aimed to reaffirm the values of the duo, and the talk resolved things with Alison, it did little to appease anyone else who found fault in their original statements.

— dont worry, i always have this cough (@bleepbloopbass) May 6, 2020

I’m putting on the yikes glasses pic.twitter.com/L3wdETZy63

— QUIET BISON (@thequietbison) May 6, 2020

Yo so which one wears the moustache

— monsieur le hab (@habstrakt) May 6, 2020

— computer man 420 (@locacacas) May 6, 2020

— -:- (@_tyler_tyler) May 6, 2020

Thanks for this apology but it’s very generic and doesn’t really show you’ve learned anything except how to delete tweets

— Hologram Gary (@munkeezrool09) May 6, 2020

This tweet aged so well and continues to grace us with its eloquence

— Ally Kattastrophe (@Kattastrophic13) May 6, 2020

— Corey Rehbock (@coolest_cpa) May 6, 2020

This article was first published on Your EDM. Source: Louis The Child Responds To Harsh Criticism Over Hitler Comments, Alison Wonderland Responds

source https://www.youredm.com/2020/05/06/louis-the-child-responds-to-harsh-criticism-over-hitler-comments-alison-wonderland-responds/

#edm #music #music production #music news #edm news

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devsavesdaworld-blog · 7 years

Text

So. I’m gay. That’s pretty neat.

Some people might be surprised by this, some others maybe not. It doesn’t really matter anyhow, because the way I am is really the way I am and there’s no changing that.

But even just a year ago, I wouldn’t have been able to talk about this so freely and candidly. A year ago, my life was entirely different. Two years ago, three, five, 10. So much has changed from that dorky kid who grew up in a small farming town where the cows outnumbered the people.

It was in this small farming town where I learned that “gay” was synonymous with “wrong” or “weird” or “broken.” Kids would throw gay around as an insult, and some of those insults were thrown at me for being a sensitive kid who would rather lend someone a pencil to make them like me than actually stand up for myself, even though I knew I was never going to get that pencil to come. I cried when the dogs in Where the Redfern Grows ended up dying. I didn’t want to be mean, and I loved hugs. I was skinny and not that athletic, but smart, and felt more comfortable around girls even though they made me feel like shit most of the time because most of my cousins were girls. But really, I was just always myself. I didn’t even know what “gay” was at the time, let alone sex or any of those R-rated concepts that were thrown around.

High school wasn’t much better, but I started learning. My friend groups shifted a few times, but I always more of an innocent kid. Still smart, but long and gangly after a growth spurt that left me a bean pole. My mom even thought I was going to die one day from being so skinny. Awkward, gangly, etc. But innocent and unaware of much outside of small farming town.

Then high school continued, and I started growing and maturing, and I started noticing more of these impulses and intrigues I had towards guys instead of girls, though I was so confused at the time because, well, guys were supposed to be in relationships with girls, right? I didn’t even know how that all worked, but I tried my best to do the typical teenage stuff. Tried going after a few girls, tried kissing a few, ended up kissing one. But it was never really exactly the most comfortable of experiences.

Still gangly. Still a dork.

Then I hit a major depression, and that sucked, but at least during that time I grew a lot and I learned more about myself. But I still never really understood the whole gay thing.

And then I became a Christian. I felt like God brought me into his arms, and I fell in love with Christianity and the Church and everything that came with having Jesus in my life. But there was one thing that was always off, and that was that I started understanding my sexual attraction toward boys instead of girls. When it finally hit me that I had the oh-so-sinful “same-sex attraction,” I was scared in a way because everything so far had reinforced this tainted image of what being gay meant. In college, I came out to a few people in the first couple of years, but I was so cared.

I even came out to the pastor of the church I was going to at the time. His first questions for me was “Were you ever sexually molested as a child?”

No, pastor.

“Have you ever heard of the Exodus program?”

Again, no. Looked into it. It was a “reparative therapy” program that attempted to make gay people become straight.

What it really did was make people want to kill themselves, which they did time and time again. It was shutdown for being inhumane, and I’m glad I never followed that pastor’s advice.

But I was stuck in a place of pain, of struggle, or having to put on a façade and lie constantly and not be open with myself and with others because I was afraid of how the world would react, especially the world of American Christianity. I heard the horror stories, and the pastor I came out to really didn’t help me feel comfortable with it either.

I was constantly praying for change, while at the same time feeling guilty for how I felt, and seeing and hearing Christians condemn homosexuality. I was confused, I was struggling, and I tried to repress so much but ended up just getting hurt more and more.

In my college Christian group, I had better support. People who were “praying for me.” Praying for me to change, for me to be delivered from this “sin,” etc. Proud of me for not falling into that “lifestyle.”

But then I left that college Christian group after graduating. I loved it, and I still do, and I had lots of love come from it as well. But I still always had to hide, and had to be ashamed of who I was. I had some hard, difficult things happen.

After the group, I found some friends who started showing me even more support, and a different kind of love. Not a love that asked me to change, but accepted me for where I was and who I was. These people I started hanging around – Christians and non-christians – helped me to understand that I shouldn’t be ashamed of who I was. But it still wasn’t enough for me to accept myself, to feel that freedom.

And then a group of pastors and other people came together to create the “Nashville Statement,” where 14 articles (without any scripture referenced) were thrown together to condemn not only gays, but gay Christians, transgendered individuals, and anyone who supported them, saying that they were all barred from heaven. But they said it nice. But it was still damaging, and completely tone deaf in the midst of Hurricane Harvey, as well as a complete blindness to all of the harm and damage that the church has done to people and to the mission of Christ, all of the people the lost their lives because of hatred and bigotry and ignorance from the church. All of the people they’ve pushed away, or made feel wrong, or drove to killing themselves.

I was close a few times myself.

But these articles were so bad, so dumb, so atrocious and ignorant that it motivated me to dig more into the Open and Affirming side of Christianity. Side A, they call it. Accepting of anyone, no matter the gender or sexuality. An open church, with open doors and open arms. Rachel Held Evans, in her book Searching for Sunday, wrote about it a lot as well, which honestly made me cry more than once because of how close to home they hit.

That’s when I decided to accept my sexuality, accept that I was gay, and own it. Nothing about who I was changed from that decision, though. I just became more confident, more comfortable, more in tune with myself. I’ve felt freer than I ever have before, and honestly more in touch with God than ever before as well. Because that’s the thing. I can be a Christian, and I can be gay, and it’s amazing and comforting.

“But the scriptures!” people will say.

But that’s for people who think that the bible is an inerrant, magical book without flaw, which is not how I see it. Sacrilegious, I know, but this “inerrant” bible hasn’t really been used in the best ways when interpreting it literally, without sense of context, translation errors, man’s influence, etc.

The truths still stand to me. God as creator, Jesus as savior. If we agree on that, then there may as well not be more conversation unless we come at it on the same basic assumptions about the bible and its nature.

Anyways, now that I’ve finally accepted this huge aspect of my life, I feel great. I came out to friends, parents, siblings, and I have a loving, supportive circle of friends who love me a lot, and I love them a lot as well. It’s helping me to be a better friend and family member as well because, well, now I don’t have to continue to hide, or be someone I’m not.

So the reason I’m writing this is…well, there are a few reasons.

1. I wanted to come out publicly so that people know where I stand and where I’m at, which will hopefully challenge a few people’s perceptions on the whole topic, and so I don’t have to be in the dark anymore.

2. Because maybe someone, somewhere, will see this and understand that there are people here for them, and that if there is something weighing on you like this, that me and a lot of other people are out there who will love and support you no matter what.

3. So I don’t have to be afraid anymore.

Anyway, if you made it to the end. Thank you for hearing my story. If you have any questions, feel free to ask over messenger, as long as you’re not some religious idiot who’s going to tell me I’m going to hell, or tell me I’m living in sin, or encourage me to turn from my sinful ways or whatever.

Those people are literally the absolute worst, and Jesus cries whenever they do shit like that.

But for everyone else, thank you. Nobody should have to live in fear or in the dark just for being themselves.

#gay #outofthecloset #christian #church #culture #pride #love #loveislove

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maizasaif · 6 years

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TV presenter Megyn Kelly has been a mainstay of US cable and network news for more than a decade - but now the career of one of the country's best-paid anchors is in doubt.

NBC News announced on Friday that the Megyn Kelly Today show is being cancelled and her co-anchors will replace her in episodes airing next week.

The move comes after she was heavily criticised for defending Halloween costume "blackface" during a segment on her morning show earlier this week.

"But what is racist?" she asked an all-white panel on Monday during a discussion about a university crackdown on offensive costumes.

"Because you do get in trouble if you are a white person who puts on blackface on Halloween, or a black person who puts on whiteface for Halloween. Back when I was a kid that was OK, as long as you were dressing up as, like, a character."

She then defended a reality television show star who drew ire last year for darkening her skin and donning an afro wig to dress as Diana Ross.

"Who doesn't love Diana Ross? She wants to look like Diana Ross for one day? I don't know how that got racist on Halloween," Kelly said.

Skip Twitter post by @tommyxtopher

Report

End of Twitter post by @tommyxtopher

The backlash was immediate - and the anchor was accused of being tone deaf and ignorant to racial sensitivities.

Incredulous viewers shared videos of the segment on social media, pointing out the well-known history of degrading depictions of African-Americans using blackface throughout US history.

Kelly apologised to NBC staff internally and then publicly to viewers on the Wednesday edition of her show.

But questions are being asked about whether the career of one of the country's highest paid news stars can, or should, recover.

Kelly joined Fox News in 2004, with little previous experience as a reporter.

Born in 1970 in upstate New York, Kelly was the youngest of three children of a college professor father and a mother who worked as a nurse at a veteran's hospital.

A keen cheerleader in high school, she went on to study political science at Syracuse University before qualifying as a lawyer in Albany and practicing as an associate in a law firm for about a decade.

She then decided to switch careers and made a demo tape that got her work as a reporter for a local ABC affiliate in Washington DC, before bagging a job at Fox News about a year later.

Jonathan Klein, former head of CNN US, told the New York Times in 2015 he regretted not signing her to his own network: "If you'd have asked me who was the one talent you'd want to have from somewhere else, from another network, I would have said - and did - Megyn Kelly."

Roger Ailes and the dawn of hyper-partisan television

How the news divides America

In 2010 Kelly got her first solo spot presenting Fox's America Live. She was credited by the network's then head Roger Ailes for improving ratings, especially among younger audiences.

She was known for her unique and tough interviewing style, upper-cutting guests with a sharp line of questioning that would often leave them scrambling for a response.

As an anchor she courted controversy, especially from the left, with her coverage. In 2013 she made headlines after declaring Santa Claus had to be depicted as a white man.

"And by the way, for all you kids watching at home, Santa just is white," Kelly said on the show. "Jesus was a white man, too... He was a historical figure, that's a verifiable fact, as is Santa. I just want the kids watching to know that."

The segment drew ridicule - and Kelly later said she regretted the comments, as well as other "stupid [expletive]" she said while at Fox.

Her profile soared spectacularly in 2016 after she sparred with Donald Trump during a Republican primary debate.

"You've called women you don't like fat pigs, dogs, slobs and disgusting animals," she challenged the candidate.

Mr Trump fired back - labelling the question inappropriate and criticising Kelly in several interviews, including one where he seemed to suggest menstruation was to blame.

"There was blood coming out of her eyes, blood coming out of her wherever," he told CNN.

Fox News cuts down Trump over boycott

Kelly not apologising for debate comments

Bill O'Reilly and Megyn Kelly clash over sex claims

After Fox News CEO Roger Ailes was sued by other women at the network for alleged harassment, Kelly came forward with her own allegations against him in her 2016 memoir.

Despite an apparently more lucrative offer from Fox to keep her, Kelly announced her departure for NBC at the start of 2017.

She was given the 09:00 morning slot for Megyn Kelly Today - a magazine news programme spliced with lifestyle and celebrity segments, and recorded live in front of a live studio audience.

It was a sharp pivot from her previous role, and the show was panned by critics who found Kelly's transformation less than convincing.

The rocky start worsened when actress Deborah Messing said she regretted appearing on the show after Kelly asked a Will and Grace fan whether he had "became gay" because of its influence.

Viewing figures continued to be lower than those enjoyed by the show's previous hosts.

Kelly then got into a very public feud with another guest, actress Jane Fonda, over an interview where she pressed her on her history of plastic surgery.

In January this year, Kelly escalated the feud in a three-minute monologue where she brought up the actress's record of protesting against US involvement in Vietnam and the nickname "Hanoi Jane".

NBC staff told the Washington Post newspaper that colleagues had become fed up with Kelly well before the blackface controversy.

Her other NBC slot, Sunday Night with Megyn Kelly, only aired eight times and has not been broadcast since July 2017.

The new row has led to previous comments she made when covering racially charged topics at Fox being brought back up, including one report where she described black communities of having an "anti-cop...thug mentality".

"This is not Megyn's first go around with racially tinged talk. We know her history; we've watched her on Fox, stirring up political divisiveness and animosity," former ESPN vice-head Roxanne Jones wrote for CNN.

Kelly has now parted ways with her talent agent and there are strong rumours in US media that NBC is in negotiations to pay off the rest of her rumoured $69m (£54m) contract.

Could a return to Fox be on the cards? In a short statement on Thursday, the network rebuffed the rumour, stating: "We are extremely happy with our entire line-up."

https://ift.tt/2ORf6dD

#IFTTT #Blogger

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foursprouthappiness-blog · 6 years

Text

10 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re An INFJ, The World’s Rarest Personality Type

New Post has been published on http://foursprout.com/happiness/10-things-people-dont-realize-youre-doing-because-youre-an-infj-the-worlds-rarest-personality-type/

10 Things People Don’t Realize You’re Doing Because You’re An INFJ, The World’s Rarest Personality Type

God & Man

The INFJ (standing for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling, Judgment) is the rarest personality type of the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, making up only 1-2% of the population. But how does their unique personality translate into real-life contexts?

Here are ten things people don’t realize you are doing because you’re an INFJ:

1. Fixating on people and situations that don’t necessarily matter in the long run; planning in advance for everything and imagining every potential scenario possible ahead of time.

As an INFJ, you’ve got quite the imagination (which makes you pretty talented at visualizing and manifesting things). On the other hand, this can be a recipe for disaster if you haven’t gotten a handle on your anxiety or taken the appropriate steps to set healthy boundaries with yourself and others. You may fixate on a problem for far too long without coming up with realistic solutions. You may become easily deeply entangled and absorbed in how others are behaving or what they think of you. This habit of “fixating” and obsessing over others can also make you prone to engaging in fantasy relationships. While this can benefit you as a creative type, it is very easy for you to get lost inside of your mind and out of touch with reality.

In social groups, you tend to be the overthinker who’s already on top of issues and topics among those who haven’t given them a second thought. You’re likely to anticipate anything and everything that could occur in a future event and pre-plan ways in which you could solve potential conflict or navigate obstacles that haven’t even occurred yet.

Unfortunately, you can’t just plan for everything. People can be unpredictable, life is always in flux and the only constant is change. It’s important for INFJs to realize that the only thing you can plan for is how you can best take care of yourself emotionally if things don’t quite turn out as you expected.

2. Dissociating from the material world to live in your own head.

INFJs have a running joke about frequently running into poles while walking or tripping over their own feet because they were daydreaming or thinking too deeply – and unfortunately, this joke hits all too close to home. Going inward allows us to be innovators, but it can also disconnect us at times from our immediate surroundings.

There’s the “real life” that we acknowledge exists – and then there’s an elaborate, rich fantasy life we have that we tend to disappear into every day, where we create full-fledged interactions, conversations and events that haven’t happened (at least not yet). Which world is more real? To an INFJ, the answer is not as clear-cut as it seems. The truth is, if you know an INFJ, they’ve have already had multiple conversations with you – you just weren’t there physically when they happened.

3. Reading the emotions of people and absorbing their energy.

INFJs are natural empaths who soak up the emotions of those around them. They have a knack for intuitively sensing what others are feeling and understanding what is left unsaid in social interactions.

They tend to be very compassionate people who are overly generous and conscientious to the needs of others. This makes them a target for predators like narcissists who seek to exploit them. That’s why it’s important for INFJs to develop a healthy radar and move slowly in relationships to ward off these toxic types. They also need to ground themselves mindfully as to not take on the emotions of others.

On the other hand, this ability also makes INFJs gifted healers, highly attuned to what other people need in their journey towards personal development. INFJs can use their emotional intelligence to excel in professions that involve teaching, counseling, coaching and inspiring social change.

4. Having your guard up, yet desiring and chasing after meaningful connections that last for a lifetime.

INFJs are deeply sensitive personalities that become easily hurt when mistreated. That’s why many of them learn to guard themselves when meeting new people or letting people into their “secret” world. Since INFJs can be quiet and reserved in certain situations, they can sometimes appear cold and standoffish, especially when deep in thought. Very few people get close enough to discover the true core of an INFJ.

Yet with their loved ones, INFJs are loyal and compassionate, warm-hearted and sentimental. They value their friendships and relationships with an intensity and intimacy that is surprising.

However, their emotions are extremely strong and once you get to know them a bit better, you realize they are actually very warm and loving people. As observers of human behavior and astute students of “people,” they are startlingly thoughtful in their ability to connect to what makes others happy around them. Their sentimental nature may not come through when INFJs are being guarded with their hearts, but as they slowly learn to drop their guard around trustworthy people, their bright energy shines through easily.

5. Using your intuition in a way that’s eerily on point.

Friends, family members and loved ones may call you slightly “psychic.” And, well, you kind of are. INFJs have an uncanny intuition about situations and people that goes beyond facades and surface-level appearances. They may have dreams and premonitions that come to life or gut feelings that, while at the time seem ridiculous, are later confirmed by unexpected life events.

For the most part, they can make accurate predictions years ahead of time and have their finger on the pulse of what’s about to occur. A challenge for the INFJ is to learn how to trust their intuition early on; they need to know that the way they come to conclusions is quite different from other personality types that are more “practical.”

6. Slamming the door on toxic people with a ferocity that shocks onlookers.

While INFJs can have a difficult time setting boundaries with toxic people at the onset, they all eventually reach their limits. The INFJ personality type is known for the infamous “door slam,” a phenomenon that occurs when the INFJ feels so violated by someone that they no longer have the emotional reserves to tolerate any more of their bullshit.

Although the door slam can sometimes be used in contexts that don’t warrant it, often times the INFJ slamming the door has more than enough reason to do so. Remember that this type is very conscientious: so before cutting off contact, they’ve likely already weighed the pros and cons and have probably tolerated numerous transgressions prior to ending the relationship or friendship.

7. Being immediately turned off by insensitive personality types, especially ones that are tone-deaf and emotionally obtuse.

Blunt, unemotional people are a natural turn-off to this personality type. Because INFJs are so conscientious and tend to overthink and over analyze everything they do and say to others, it baffles them that other people could be so unaware, cold, indifferent or downright unempathic in their interactions with others. They are easily overwhelmed by bullying types who treat others with a reckless disregard or treat people with abrasiveness. The exception being, of course, manipulative charmers who can “present” a more gentle personality type at the onset, but later unmask themselves to be cruel and callous. INFJs can have a more difficult time detoxing from manipulators simply because of the trauma this “unmasking” reveals.

It’s probably this same indignation that explains why INFJs tend to be justice seekers, always with a mission to right wrongs and support the underdog. It’s important that INFJs keep in mind that other personality types may deal with their emotions differently, while also being mindful of the company they keep. INFJs have to learn to be so comfortable in their own skin that they don’t end up trying to cater to the needs of toxic personalities, even while remaining diplomatic.

8. Disappearing for days after just a few social interactions.

INFJs can appear very friendly and extroverted to outsiders. In fact, this is one of the most “extroverted” introverted types. Yet their energy can get drained easily by social interactions, even the most positive ones. They need time to absorb and process social interactions in a way that can appear somewhat unusual to outsiders. They might disappear for days without contacting you or seem uncharacteristically emotionally distant even while physically present.

If this disappearance occurs after a conflict, it’s important to let the INFJ retreat and unwind by themselves. They need time to cool down, relax and reconnect with you later (if they aren’t doing a “door slam,” that is). If they disappear after a positive interaction, don’t worry. They’re usually just spending time reminiscing over and processing the fond memories. For the most part, INFJs retreat not because they don’t enjoy spending time with you, but because their alone time is essential for their self-care.

9. Being overly organized in some areas and highly disorganized, even neglectful, in others.

Being a perfectionist comes naturally for an INFJ, so they’re usually stereotyped as being organized, meticilous and neurotic in all facets of their life. However, the INFJ is a complex and contradictory type. They can get so absorbed in something that they neglect other important aspects or even neglect their own wellbeing.

It’s common to see an INFJ spend hours on a project while neglecting to eat or sleep, or for an INFJ to become so lost in a creative undertaking that they lose sight of their external environment, causing them to leave their living arrangements in disarray. Sometimes, they focus so much on the details that they lose sight of the bigger picture – or vice versa.

That’s why you might encounter an INFJ who is incredibly precise and detailed in certain projects, but seemingly messy and disorganized in others. It’s because their logic and reasoning is very tied to their intuition – they do things on “impulse” and from their inspiration moreso than deadlines or protocols because they have an intuitive sense of knowing of what will work, what won’t and how they work best.

You’re also likely to meet INFJs who are very high-strung and devoted to a goal or dream, often at the expense of their social life or their mental health. How an INFJ thinks and organizes things may not make sense to an outsider, but they definitely bring a unique perspective into everything they do. They just have to learn how to take better care of themselves in the process.

10. Appearing to have multiple personalities.

If you’ve asked an INFJ a tough question, don’t worry – one of their personalities will be with you shortly. This complex type has many different facets to their identity, many of which can contradict one another.

You may witness a seemingly scientific and “rational” INFJ exhibit a keen interest in spiritual or even paranormal matters, or a normally serious INFJ morph into a mischievous comedian with a knack for telling dirty jokes.

Don’t be alarmed. These are all sides of the same person. INFJs have a rich inner life that they normally don’t share with others, so their inner monologue when “outed” is quite intriguing to say the least. When it does come out and reveal some sides of them you haven’t seen before, realize that you��re just getting another piece of a very intricate and unusual puzzle. INFJs are tough personalities to figure out, but that’s what makes them so interesting.

#Happiness

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gardencityvegans · 7 years

Text

Weekend Reading, 10.22.17

http://www.thefullhelping.com/wp-content/uploads/2016/12/weekend_reading.jpg

You may have heard that Google Maps just pulled an experimental feature that told users how many calories they’d burn if they walked to a destination instead of driving. The feature was intended to promote exercise and greater awareness of energy balance, but pushback from eating disorder treatment professionals—as well as troubled consumers—turned the tide.

The app not only showed the caloric deficits associated with walking, but it also framed these deficits in terms of food: for example, it would inform users that a certain walking distance “burns around 125 Calories—that’s more than 1 mini cupcake!” (Mini cupcake icon included.)

Reading about the controversy, I was brought back to anorexia recovery, when my commitment was constantly tested by our cultural focus on weight loss. I did my best to eliminate the triggers I could: I stopped reading certain blogs, I stopped purchasing most women’s magazines, and I consciously excused myself from passing conversations that were focused on dieting or exercise.

Eventually I realized that it was impossible to hide from diet talk and food noise. Instead, I would have to train myself to handle them.

It took me years to understand that exposure to diet culture hadn’t just triggered me; it had also brought to the surface a lot the anger I was carrying around about my recovery process. I told myself that I was angry at a cultural dialog that condones body shaming, and this was part of the truth.

The whole truth is that I was also angry to not to be a part of this culture anymore: the rituals of starting a new diet, having a new “thing” with food, monitoring my body’s inputs and outputs. Those rhythms had ruled my life for so long, and I felt lost without them. To indulge them, I knew, would be a rejection of the healing process I had committed to. I could distance myself from them, but I couldn’t help envying those who didn’t have to.

At that point, I needed recovery a lot more than I wanted it. Things changed. Eventually I would discover how liberating it is to hop off of the dieting roller coaster for good. I would realize that I’m entitled to eat simply because it keeps me alive, and it tastes good, not because I’ve burned off so many calories exercising or walking. I stopped defining my diet in terms of what I avoided, and I stopped flirting with shiny new restrictive experiments or food eliminations.

Back then, calorie and activity tracking were still specifically associated with weight loss. Nowadays, tracking has become a lot more normalized, thanks to apps and Fitbits and the like. You don’t have to identify with being on a diet to monitor how many calories you burn in a fitness class, or how many steps you’ve taken over the course of a day.

I have to wonder the impact that the mainstreaming of activity/food tracking has on men and women in ED recovery, not to mention anyone who’s susceptible to fluctuations in body image. It pains me to think that there are more triggers than ever, even though I understand why these programs, apps, and devices exist and see their potential value.

As the Times article notes, consumption of high-calorie, low-fiber foods and inactivity are major health threats in America. While it would be nice to think that our epidemic of lifestyle-related diseases could be combatted exclusively through mindfulness, I know that’s a lot to ask. Forging a conscious relationship with food takes time, energy, and emotional investment, whereas tracking promises dependable and timely results: do the math, stick to a plan, and you’ll get the results you want.

I’m glad that Google pulled the maps feature, because it wasn’t elected: users were forced to see theoretical calorie burns whether they opted to or not. I think ED treatment professionals were right to intervene, and I’m not surprised that many consumers reported feeling shamed by the app. At the same time, I don’t condemn tracking programs, so long as they remain voluntary. I know that they help some people, and so long as that’s true, I’m glad they’re out there.

A huge part of ED recovery is learning to accept one’s own health needs without having to generalize them. You can’t create a trigger-free world for yourself, and you can’t police the way that other people experience food, exercise, or body image. Tracking and calorie counting work for some people, and dieting can be an appropriate health choice, depending on the circumstances. Those who have suffered through disordered eating may always need to create strong boundaries around these topics, and that’s OK. But it’s personal.

I kept coming back to this thought as I read about the Google maps controversy over the weekend. I was less interested in the controversy itself than in the question of how we can all navigate an increasingly BMI-focused world while honoring our bodies. I was reminded that my ED recovery would not have been possible without my learning to identify and protect my needs while letting go of the expectation that my environment would ever make it easy.

Today, I want to offer up strength and encouragement to those of you who might be experiencing anxiety, triggers, shame, or any other tensions as you navigate the journey toward body respect. We dwell in a complex food environment, and we’ll continue to see a lot of proposed solutions in the coming years. Most of them will be well-intentioned, and some of them might be tone deaf or have unintended consequences. The best any of us can do is to stand by ourselves and our unique relationships with food, trusting that intuition will guide us toward the tools that serve us best.

On that note, here are some of the recipes that have called out to me in the past week.

Recipes

I’m so into Amanda’s creamy vegan pumpkin pasta: it’s pure comfort food with a short ingredient list!

This mushroom soup is so nutritious, packed with vegetables, white beans, and turmeric. Just the thing to fend off a fall cold with (though fingers crossed we all manage to escape those this season).

Another soup, this one of the blended/creamy variety. I love how flavorful Lindsay’s Zanzibar carrot tomato soup is; it’ll be a great way to satisfy my love of tomatoes once the fresh ones are out of season (sniffle).

My mind is already inevitably turning to Thanksgiving ideas, and I’m so inspired by Rosie’s maple pecan sweet potato pie. It’s a true sweet and savory hybrid—she describes it as a sweet potato pie and shepherd’s pie hybrid—which is right up my flavor alley.

Is it possible to bookmark too many vegan chocolate chip cookie recipes? Hope not. Erin’s awesome looking vegan chocolate chunk cookies are my latest pick.

Reads

1. The New York Times reports on Google maps’ calorie counting feature.

2. Joanna put this series of photographs on my radar. Artist Conor Nickerson photoshopped current images of himself onto childhood photographs, creating a series in which his child and adult selves are hanging out. I think it’s a such touching idea, almost a visual rejoinder to the hypothetical of what we’d tell our younger selves if we had a chance.

3. I never doubted it.

4. Many vegans consciously elect to work with vegetarian or vegan RDs, but doing so isn’t always an option, especially if the client prefers to meet in person or has limited options on a health insurance plan. I’m so glad that Matt Ruscigno has contributed this article, a primer on working with vegan clients, to Today’s Dietitian.

Matt doesn’t only address things like B-12 supplementation or meal ideas; he also encourages non-vegan RDs to be sensitive to the fact that there are many motivators for choosing a vegan diet, to ask lots of open, curious questions, and to ask about the healthcare practitioners clients may already be gathering information from online. Great information for the dietetic community to have at its fingertips.

5. Good news for transparency in scientific literature: PubMed will now display information on conflicts of interest and funding right below abstracts. This information is generally disclosed within a paper, but many consumers get information from abstracts, especially if they don’t have subscriptions or access to full articles online. It’s an especially strong step forward in making the public aware of nutrition studies that are funded by industry.

Enjoy the food, enjoy the reads. I’ve got a comfort food dish on the way in a day or two, and I’ll be sharing a flavorful recipe (and giveaway!) from Richa‘s fabulous new cookbook on Friday.

[Read More ...] http://www.thefullhelping.com/weekend-reading-10-22-17/

#infrared #health

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hollywoodjuliorivas · 7 years

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PENTA DAILY How Grandparents Wisely Pay Their Family’s Education Fidelity Investments, Wells Fargo Private Bank offer advice on how not to bungle a well-intended educational gift. ByAbby Schultz June 6, 2017 12:56 p.m. ET ILLUSTRATION: GETTY IMAGES If you are a grandparent, chances are you want to help your sons or daughters shoulder their children’s tuition costs that can easily reach $250,000 for each child, just for four years of college. If your children are being honest, they often need the help, but too often parents and grandparents shyly wait for the other to initiate the conversation. It’s understandable. Grandparents don’t want to intrude and children don’t want to beg. Kevin Ruth, head of wealth planning and personal trust at Fidelity Investments’ Private Wealth Management, suggests that the naming ceremony of an infant grandchild, or some other rite-of-passage occasion, is the ideal time to bring up funding education in addition to gifting that $1,400 Bugaboo stroller. Complex or potentially fraught discussions go over best at happy times, and that’s when you can easily slip in, “So, there was another present I want to talk with you about.” But, before you do, get clear in your own mind what you are prepared to offer. Do you want to pay for everything, just room and board, or something in between? Also be sensitive to how you might inadvertently trigger dormant rivalries better left slumbering. If, for example, your son has one child but your daughter has three, how can you be fair to both families? Ruth says its best to be upfront about the issue and invite your children, at the right time, to say what they think. One solution? Give the same amount, say $500,000, to each family,for the parents to disperse for education and related expenses – as they see fit. This effort to invite your children’s input into the gifting process is no small thing. Money can be used as a tool of control, especially in wealthier families. Ruth recalls a client who set up a $10 million trust to pay for secondary education through graduate school for his own grandchildren as well as the grandchildren of his two brothers. It was an extraordinary offer, made humbly, at a family gathering. The problem: One brother was deeply insulted by the implication he wasn’t successful enough to pay for his own grandchildren’s education, and curtly said, “No thanks.” The other brother was thrilled – and accepted the generous gift as it was intended. There are other ways tone-deaf grandparents can inadvertently bungle their generously-intended gifts. In particular, grandparents who don’t bring the topic up when the grandchildren are young have to recognize that as college approaches, their children will probably have put money aside to pay for the schooling themselves. They may even have a plan, say, to pay 75% of all expenses and to require their children to work or take out loans to cover the rest. “That could be core to what they are trying to teach their children,” says Katherine Dean, national director of family dynamics at Wells Fargo Private Bank. “You have to collaborate, so there’s not a miss.” One way to ensure this doesn’t happen is to open a discussion with your children around shared values. Recently Dean worked with a grandmother who wanted to pay tuition for her six grandchildren. With Dean’s guidance, the grandmother first contacted her sons and their wives separately to give them an idea of what she was thinking. Then Dean brought the families together for a “values experiences” talk that gave everyone a chance to reveal their key values, and allowed the grandmother to share why education topped her list. The session allowed her to take the time to step back and explain, Dean says, “not just write a check.” Of course, on a more practical note, gifting large sums for education is also a useful way to reduce the value (and taxes) of your estate. Federal law allows you to give $14,000 to each of your children a year, $28,000 for a couple, before a federal gift tax of 40% kicks in. But 529 college-savings plans allow you to front-load five years of annual gifts at once, which comes to a total of $140,000 per couple. Rules for 529 plans differ by state, but generally, they provide flexibility, tax advantages, and control. You can, for example, decide when the proceeds are disbursed. There are other savings vehicles to consider, including custodial accounts via the Uniform Gift to Minors Act or Uniform Transfer to Minors Act, although funds saved in these investment accounts become the child’s at age 18 or 21 and don’t have to be used for college. The ultra-wealthy often use an irrevocable trust with generation-skipping provisions, known as a dynasty trust. That’s the structure the generous brother used with Fidelity’s guidance to create an educational fund for his extended family. The taxes on distributions from these trusts are paid by the beneficiary. You can also dispense with setting up trusts by paying the tuition bill directly to the university. A $50,000 check written to Stanford instead of your grandchild isn’t considered a gift, so you won’t trigger a transfer tax, but be warned that the gift exclusion doesn’t apply to room and board. Our point: The best strategy is always to have the college-tuition conversation early on, as your grandchildren first embark on life. If your intent is to invest in college-savings vehicles, for example, getting an early start gives your funds more time to grow tax free, and early talks allow you to get a jump on flagging education as an important family value. And what better family gift is there than that? EDUCATION FAMILIES FINANCE WEALTH MANAGEMENT Please sign up to comment on Barron's blogs. MOST POPULAR General Electric: A Fantastic Asset? Kroger: What the Heck Just Happened? The Biggest Loser: Kroger Tumbles Like It’s 1999 Cummins: Not So Fast Tesla! The Stumble? Dow Slips form Highs, Nasdaq Drops for Second Day

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