#and god they all deserve so much more love

[endless-ineffabilities]

chemical override

Ewan Mitchell x actress!reader

a/n: i caved and did an actual Ewan fic! Given that the lad is more of a public persona nowadays, I reckon it's fine (?) This is pure self-indulgence for all my Ewan loves. May have a continuation but idk for now, enjoy!!

all my other works

The reader and Ewan are paired for press interviews. Despite barely having any scenes together and only knowing each other in passing on set, the chemistry they share cannot be denied...

Your first round of press takes place in a primped up hotel suite in Paris, thanks to the team at HBO.

You are an up and coming actress, much like some of your costars in the show, but the pressure is heavier on you because you were entering in season two, whereas everyone was already well-acquainted with one another.

Your few scenes were mostly with Jace and Baela, so you grew close to Harry and Bethany.

However, the media team decided to pair you up with Ewan for the day. A little fun initiative was set by the team that a character from the Blacks would be do press with a counterpart from the Greens - hence, yourself and Ewan.

You're nervous as you walk down the hallway, unable to fully pay attention to the instructions your lovely assistant gives you.

She tells you about the different interviewers for the day, bloggers and magazine writers from all over the world. She reminds you that each one will only be for a maximum of 5 minutes, so it shouldn't be too complicated. She smiles and eagerly says, "Take a deep breath, you got this!", as you reach the suite doors.

But in your mind, all you can recall is your first interaction with Ewan, almost a year ago right after the table read. You had nervously blurted out to him that Aemond is your favourite character, after he just asked, "How are you?". He laughed, said thank you, before he was pulled away in conversation by Tom.

You pray to the fictional Westerosi gods that things will fare better today. That you won't get all tongue-tied when those steel blue eyes land on you.

Upon entering the room, the team is quick to fuss over you. Sometimes you forget that you're actually an actress now. A celebrity, some might say. It all feels surreal and you have a inkling it won't ever stop being this way.

Ewan is already seated in front of the camera, and he stands to give you a hug as you finally walk over.

"Hey there, how are you?" he smiles widely, smelling like cigarettes and something muskier as he wraps his arms around you.

Unroll your tongue. Rework your brain. Calm down.

"Hey, Ewan!" you respond. "I'm doing great, happy to see you again."

"Well, I only wish we could have had more time together on set." Ever the gentleman, he gestures for you to take your seat before he does the same. "But next season perhaps? Who knows?"

"Oh, sure." You settle in, pleased by the fact that your chairs are only about a foot apart. "We can both look forward to my character giving Aemond the arse kicking he deserves."

He laughs, eyes glinting with mischief. "Come on now, I was thinking our characters are actually quite compatible, no?"

"Well, I sure wouldn't want to step on Alys' shoes. She'd probably curse my character all the way to Yi Ti."

"Hmm," he hums, biting his lip. You can't help but hear Aemond when he does that. "I say you can always count on Aemond and Vhagar to come to the rescue of a beautiful maiden such as yourself."

Well, you'll be damned. Ewan, while still an introvert of his own sort, is as charming as can be. If he's turning it on to get himself hyped for the press, it's working.

It's definitely working on you, to say the least.

The media manager gives the signal for the first interview to begin, and a reporter walks in, all ready with prepared script in hand.

"Here we go," you mutter, facing forward.

"Good luck," Ewan replies.

You both shake the reporter's hand, and he introduces himself as Jared.

"So guys," Jared begins. "Why don't we start with you telling me a little bit about what we can expect from your characters this season?"

The question is easy, and it doesn't take long for you and Ewan to think it through. Jared asks a few more basic questions, before drawing the attention more to you.

"When you watched season one, did you have a favourite character?" he asks you.

You smile, "Oh, I mean, I have to say - and Ewan already knows this, by the way - that Aemond was my favourite character."

"Was?" Ewan says, feigning shock. "Unacceptable."

"Was... Is... " you shrug, rolling your eyes playfully, earning a laugh from Jared. "I think I might be more a Daemon girl now."

"Oh!" Jared exclaims happily. "Does Matt know about this?"

"I'll be sure to tell him - "

Ewan interjects, shaking his head at you, "There's no need to tell him, because I'll convert her back to Team Aemond in no time, trust me."

"Daemon is awesome, though," you say to him, smiling.

"Sure." Ewan makes a face like that fact doesn't matter. Wasn't he the one who said that Daemon would be the character he would most like to play if not Aemond?

"And Caraxes is my favourite dragon." You share a look with Jared, hoping he would agree.

"Yes!" Jared says. "Caraxes is the best dragon in the show, in my opinion."

"Ah, you're both wrong," Ewan says. "My Vhagar is the oldest and baddest dragon in all of the land."

"My Vhagar, he says," you joke. "Seems like someone still hasn't shed Aemond for this press tour."

"And I never will, darling." His gaze is intense when he turns to you, and you clear your throat to fight the warmth rushing to your cheeks.

"Alright, they're giving me the wrap-up," Jared thankfully breaks the tension. "It was a pleasure talking to you guys, congratulations on the new season!"

One interview down, and your nerves have already considerably subsided. Ewan tapping your arm to start up a conversation once more surely helps in distracting you.

In the best damn way possible.

"How do you think we did? That wasn't too bad, was it?"

"I think we did quite well," you casually offer a high five, but your heart skips a beat when Ewan interlaces your suspended hands for just a moment.

"I'm glad they paired me with you," Ewan says, after releasing your hand. You hold on to the armrests to keep your fingers from twitching.

"I am, too," you admit. "I am a fan of you, after all, but I think you already know that."

He blushes, "Well, that's not a bad thing. I think you're a fantastic actress. I must have seen your first film a good ten times."

"You mean my first and only film," you add humbly. "But thank you."

"Only film for now," he affirms. "No doubt this is only the beginning for you, darling. With your talent and your charisma, I'm sure you have potential scripts piled up already."

"I could say the same for you! Have you seen what your fans say about you online? You're the internet's new boyfriend, Ewan Mitchell."

The media manager announces the next interview, but Ewan follows up with a response for you under his breath, "I have seen some things. But when I have a girlfriend, I'll make sure she won't have to share me at all."

Oh, so apparently he is single. But wait - why is he telling you this?

You don't get to mull over that thought. For the time being, the next interview starts and you make sure you do a good job at what you're paid to do - promoting the series.

Not daydreaming about getting with a costar, for heaven's sake. Stay professional.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

You feel lightheaded after finishing the seventh - or had it been the eighth? - interview.

Your assistant delivers a coffee to you during the twenty-minute break. Ewan had stepped out to the balcony to have a smoke, leaving you alone with your thoughts.

He certainly is everything you expected him to be, and so much more. Insightful, cheeky, dedicated. An artist, through and through. He was in the business for all the right reasons, passion and respect for the craft.

If he had any flaws, you weren't privy to them yet. If there are any reasons for you not to be attracted to him, you didn't know what those were yet.

But with every flirtatious remark and pointed smile, you can't deny the hope blooming in you.

"Hey," he reappears, pulling you out of your musings. "I hope you don't mind that I smell of smoke."

No, you didn't, not when it's him.

"Don't worry about it," you reassure him. You tilt your head forward to take a sip of your coffee, but a lock of your hair falls in front of your face. Annoyed, you think to reach for it, but Ewan beats you to it, tucking it back in place.

"There you go, darling," he croons, gesturing for you to proceed in drinking.

"Th-thanks." His eyes don't leave yours as you take a slow sip.

"So," you say, desperate to break the silence, "which interview did you enjoy the most so far?"

"How can I possibly choose? I mean, I really liked the one with ComicSociety, the guy that said our characters have a lot of chemistry and should get together next season. He's right, I already told you!"

"Ohhh, sure, that will go down really well with the Blacks and Greens."

He smirks, "I don't see why not?"

"For one, Aemond is ensnared by Alys, and my character will never give up fighting for Rhaenyra. I just don't see it happening, Ewan."

"Right," he mutters thoughtfully, "there is still Alys in the picture."

"Still in the picture? With the amount of steamy scenes you two have lined up for season three, I'd say she will be Aemond's entire picture in and of herself."

"Hmm," he glances at you once, then looks down. Dare you think it, does he look disappointed?

"But hey," you add lightly, "maybe we can talk to Ryan and he can flip the entire script just for our characters."

"Yeah," his cheeky smile resurfaces, "maybe you can take Alys' place."

Take the place of Alys? Of Alys. Is he insinuating...

"Next round of interviews, guys!" The media manager announces to the room.

"Here we go again, darling," Ewan squeezes your hand once, before putting on his professional face once more.

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

By the end of it all, not even caffeine can perk you up. You were exhausted, you and Ewan having finished four full hours of press.

Your assistant comes to your aid, ready to direct you back to your own hotel room.

"This has been such a pleasure, Ewan, really." You stand, this time initiating the hug.

He squeezes you gently, humming in your ear. When you pull apart, he says, "I honestly wouldn't mind trudging through hours and hours of press with you."

That's sweet of him. You're too tired to mask the warmth that rises to your cheeks. "And I feel the same. Today couldn't have gone any better."

"Truly, and listen, maybe we could - "

"Ewan!" The manager approaches. "I'm so sorry to rush with this, but we need to film just a quick soundbite with you for Aemond. Just two to three questions for the Max Tiktok account?"

"Oh, okay - " Ewan is reluctant to turn away from you.

"Perfect! If you could just stand there by the windows please..." The manager already has him by the arm, directing where he has to go.

"We have to go," your assistant says. "Still have to prep for tomorrow."

"I'll see you soon, Ewan!" you call out to him. "Thanks again."

He gives a half-hearted wave, dejected as he watches you walk out of the room.

"That wasn't too bad," you share with your assistant as you enter the elevators. "Not bad at all, actually."

"Oh, you did so well," she compliments. "It definitely helps with the press that you and Mr. Mitchell have such insane natural chemistry."

▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎ ▪︎

In the calm of your hotel room, you get ready for bed.

Just when you're about to finish with your nightly routine, your phone rings from your bedside table. You're quick to rush over, thinking it could be your assistant or your manager, with an urgent update about work.

But no - it's an unknown number. A UK number, as it appears.

Confused, you click answer anyway, putting it to your ear with a tentative, "Hello, who is this?"

"Hi, darling."

"Ewan?"

"Yeah, uhm, I hope I didn't disturb you - "

"Not at all," your answer comes out in a rushed breath.

"I also hope you don't mind that I got my assistant to ask your assistant to give me your number? It's what I wanted to ask you before you left today."

"Oh." You feel fully awake now, by some miracle, butterflies finding home in your stomach. "I don't mind. I... I should have given you my number, anyway. I have most of the cast's, in case I need to get a hold of you guys."

"Hmm, right," he says from the other end. You hear him calmly breathing, the sound strangely comforting, and wonder if he can hear the same from you.

He says, "I just wanted to keep hearing your voice. Didn't get enough of it today," and your heart just about stops.

"Oh. Okay," is all you are able to respond with.

"What are you doing?"

"Just... just getting ready for bed." Phone pressed to your ear, you shuffle around the room, putting some things back in place.

He says nothing for a few seconds, but you still hear his breathing, and some shuffling in the background. It occurs to you that he might just be as nervous as you are now.

Maybe.

"Listen," he finally says, "do you want to hear my pitch to Ryan about why our characters should get together next season?"

A genuine laugh escapes you. He sure is persistent. Playful, sure, but you're definitely willing to play along.

"Let's hear it."

"First," he says, "you have to renounce Daemon as your favourite character - "

"Not a chance."

" - and swear your love for Aemond."

"Keep dreaming."

He laughs, and you can only picture the corners of his eyes crinkling.

"Aww darling," he teases, "don't you love me?"

The OGs will know that the final line is a nod to my first ever Aemond fic! 🖤

Did this slightly delay my series works? Yes, yes it did. Do I regret it? For Ewan frickin Mitchell, I would never ~

[kaszuma]

Second Guesses | Hoshina Soshiro

Part 4 of "Certainly Yours"

pairing: Hoshina Soshiro × fem!reader

summary: you and Soshiro have never once addressed your relationship. But that all changes when he sees a man hand you a drink.

warnings: mentions of alcohol. Adult drinking. Afterparty drinking. Hint of Jealousy, Nothing too serious.

wc: 2,836

---

note: Not proofread. Not really good at writing jealousy for Soshiro. I assumed he'd be more subtle in his advances. I've already planned out the next part. Might be getting an NSFW scene soon. So stay tuned.

---

It's been a few days since you've established this strange relationship with the Vice Captain of the Third Division.

All those admiring glances and careful touches have now been pried open to reveal lasting kisses in the hallways of the early mornings when no one was watching. Even in the heat of the afternoons, he made it very clear to you that he was handsy. Desperate to be close to you. And his palms, which had often been restrained to make innocent touches on your shoulder. Would evolve into a hasty fit of grabbing. Slotting themselves around your waist, subtly spelling his name on the small of your back. All a ploy to pull you much closer when you kiss.

And you reciprocated all the same by running your hands through the smooth roots of his hair. Scratching the gradual taper down to the base of his neck. Where you'd feel him shudder from your touch. Desperate enough so that he stops you from your movements to reply back with an even larger gesture.

Like you had deserved the world and back.

But despite the risky kisses you two would share in the middle of work. Soshiro had made sure that no one was watching. Keeping his loving glances to the privacy of your eyes. Letting not a single person witness his affection for you.

Not letting anyone get any dirt on him. And surprisingly, he was pretty good at keeping this situation between you two a secret.

From pulling away the moment you'd hear voices. Or looking around to see if cameras and voice recordings were within reach.

And luckily since he had access to most of it, he'd easily be able to remove the evidence before Captain Ashiro can check herself.

And should they be discovered? Soshiro was a master of evasive manipulation. Likely with his words alone, he'd be able to wriggle his way out of the situation and make up an excuse for the both of you so that you won't be caught in the awkwardness of it all. Both a boon and a bane to be dealt with.

Though, you highly doubt it would ever come to that situation.

Because for as long as you remember. Despite the guise of his easy-going persona. He was still the respected Vice Captain everyone knew him as. And like his responsibilities. He remained disciplined, loyal to Kaiju slaying. His meticulousness shows in the way he practices his swordsmanship to the privacy he has with you. He keeps his cards close and you even closer.

He holds you as if you were a treasure he found and was unable to share, lest you be taken away from his safekeeping.

And God forbid, if something happened to you.

There would be hell to pay.

And like all his bad habits. He had been able to keep up this persona. Even with you, it seems he still isn't used to that newfound feeling that he's come across. He wasn't used to the ever growing importance you had on his life.

Unable to comprehend the feelings that bloomed within him when you managed to crawl your way into his hardened heart. And now that you're there, he doesn't know whether to hold you tighter or not.

And for whatever reason. You understood that sentiment exactly. Even when those words never left his mouth.

Although it wasn't ideal, you had decided not to confront his aversion to public intimacy. If he had not decided what you are to him. Then so be it. You would be nothing and everything to him, if that helped ease his mind.

Soshiro was a busy man. He was often the last person to shut off all the lights in the training room. And the first person to grab a cup of coffee in the mess hall. And to ruin that routine now, and ask for his confirmation of exclusivity? You’d rather not overwork the poor man who already has enough on his plate. The task was still far too early a concept for the both of you to grasp.

So, you let the man be.

As much as it did sting to see him ignore your presence entirely instead of greeting you in the crowded mess hall. You had not moved from your spot. Letting Soshiro take the lead. Only hearing the trace of his faint laughter ring out as he answered vaguely from the few questions he'd get from some of the officers.

And you smile knowing fully well that he had not alluded to you at all when someone asked if he was seeing anyone.

That is until that persona of his cracked unexpectedly..

It was the evening after a successful mission. The third division had just gotten back from exterminating an army of Yoju in the area. And just like its repertoire, no casualties were sustained during the attack. Not even a broken combat suit that needed fixing. Which made your job a little easier no doubt.

And now, the entirety of the Third Division had been invited out to drink. Renting a large bar down the street, nearest the base.

It hadn't been a few minutes since you sat down. Recognizing a few operators like Okonogi who invited you to sit down next to her. She had excused herself momentarily, likely a trip to the restrooms. When suddenly a martini slid towards you. It had the color of liquid poison, and it reminds you that you haven't had a single drink that night. Unlike the few rambunctious folks who had cheered when a glass of beer was poured to their glasses.

The moment you turn your head you see the telltale signs of an Officer staring right back at you. His grin was one you hadn't recognized, languidly pushing the pretty glass towards you where it was within reach. His cheeks aflame from the steady intake of alcohol.

He was likely a new officer. A recruit from this year's batch. Otherwise, you'd have recognized him from the plenty of times officers would come by to the lab to have their weapons upgraded or repaired.

“Drink up! It's a successful night after all.” He moved uncomfortably closer. And you could smell the stench of his breath that made you want to cringe away. But you didn't really want to seem rude, so you gently nudged him back. To leave enough room between the two of you. Luckily he had seemed to have gotten the hint and poured another glass for himself.

“Want another one?”

The encouragement makes you smile. He had likely not realized that he had been talking to the wrong person. Too drunk to notice that you weren't an officer like the rest of the people in the bar.

“No thank you. I'm good.” you said. “Though, you might consider drinking some water? Maybe it'll help you sober up.” You gestured to the bartender. Though the martini is handed to your palms before you could raise your hand. And you caught yourself before the liquid could make a mess and spill all over the place.

“The night's still young and it's rare that the Captains are treating us to a drink.” He convinced you. And you find yourself second guessing, staring at your drink in thought.

It did look like a very expensive martini. And from the looks of the officer that had offered it to you, he'd been chugging down his own set that he had ordered himself. Already moving on to give you some of his glasses that he had planned to drink.

It wouldn't hurt to taste it, right?

“I suppose it wouldn't hurt to try.” You had interjected, already moving the petite glass to your lips.

What you hadn't realized however, was the intense stare you'd get from the back of your head. Red eyes line your figure from across the room. And the bottle of Sake he had ordered was long forgotten at his table with Captain Ashiro.

Before you knew it, the glass rim had been blocked by a hand. And you could see the appearance of an arm obscure the right side of your vision. Blocking both the drink and the drunken gaze from the officer in question.

“Don't ya know you shouldn't accept drinks from strangers, sweetheart?”

Soshiro's husky voice quivered from behind. And you could hear the way his chest rumbled as it pressed against your back. Hand already putting the martini back on the table, away from your lips.

“Vice Captain..?” You hear the officer exclaim in slow syllables. And suddenly the man shot up in a salute. Though dazed from the drinks he clearly had, the rest of the officers behind him had laughed. Clearly amused that the Vice Captain had made an appearance, with an audience no less.

And that was enough to turn your head around to meet his eyes.

And his smile. The smile that had always been difficult to read, had not faded at all the moment you faced him. At least not entirely, as it looked a little irritated. More forced than usual. It seems you're starting to get better at reading his grins. At least, to some extent.

“At ease, we're just about to leave.” He spoke nonchalantly. His gaze not once leaving yours. Which makes your breath hitch slightly.

Your eyes had darted around, first seeing the perplexed faces of the officers. And then seeing the calm expression of both Okonogi and Captain Ashiro just eating some karaage from the sidelines. With the bespectacled girl in particular, clearly enjoying the attention both you and Soshiro had received. She had probably returned long ago and saw the commotion happening.

Likely alluding to the fact that they had already been made aware of their strange relationship. Which makes you a little calmer, knowing that this hadn't been an official work setting. Celebrations at the bar is one thing, but plenty of the Third had still been present, making this seem all the more exposed than ever.

Shit.

Why was he here?

Wasn't he afraid of letting people know about them? or whatever situation their relationship was at the moment. He had made it very clear that he wasn't keen on his admission. Not a single word from his lips that they were more than friends. Let alone lovers. What's changed?

“We were?” You had whispered to him.

“We are. So let's go, yeah?” He simply gestures for you to stand up, hand on the small of your back whilst pointing his chin to the direction of the door. Though before he could gently lead you away the same officer had squinted his eyes. As if a strange idea had popped into his head, but had doubted the premise for it to be factual.

“Where are ya’ going, Vice Captain? You can't just pick girls up like that..” You had seen the small twitch on the corner of Soshiro's lips. It quivers in that irritation you knew well. And it was just their luck that this drunken officer had spoken his thoughts out loud.

Shit. You decide to intervene. “No need to worry, I was just about to grab an uber back to base anyway-”

“What?” Soshiro had looked at you. “No yer’ not, do you know how late it is?”

You had flinched upon hearing Soshiro's firm voice. A first in which he spoke to you with a slightly raised tone. And you could feel the curious stares in your direction.

“Yes, I am.” You said. “And the Vice Captain here is only going to escort me out until my ride is here.” You say between gritted teeth. The sorry excuse of a reasoning was sloppy at best, but you had at least hoped some people had just gotten the picture and left the topic alone.

But Soshiro couldn't help but sigh, remorseful of the way he had raised your voice at you like that. He was only concerned for your safety. And added to the irritation of prying eyes, he didn't mean to reveal so much just from one sentence of his.

“No, Just-” He starts, “Listen, I'll take ya home myself. I don't want ya out this late. Now come on.”

He had grabbed your wrist. Already pulling you along to the exit. Of course, this had garnered stares from their audience. And although some had been wise enough not to ask further questions.In fear of insubordination, it seems not everyone had been sober enough to read the room.

“Woah..Am I missing something here? It's like you two are dating.” The officer had taken a sip of his martini. Curiously glancing around and back at the two of you.

And Soshiro looks back at the crowd who now had incredulous looks on their faces.

“Got a problem with that, soldier?” He spoke with his eyes open. Deep crimson staring at the soldier who could barely stand from the Alcohol he consumed. And you could feel the way Soshiro had nudged you past the door before you could meet any of their prying eyes.

“N-no sir.” He had gulped, turning around to pour himself a shot. Likely already knowing that he might've done himself in by the look at Soshiro's face. His expression, though laid-back as usual, had spoken everything it needed to tell him.

And he was definitely going to run laps, or clean bathrooms the morning after.

“You there. Remind him tomorrow morning to meet me in my office.” He pointed towards the Officer that was nearest the drunken man. Who had proceeded to drink another glass. And before he could hear the response. He walks out the bar's entrance, with you in tow.

Immediately you turned towards him. Brows furrowed in response to his strange behavior. Jealousy was one thing, but now you had an even bigger question. A more sincere one, that you didn't think would be a possibility until now.

“Did you really mean that?” You spoke hesitantly. Watching him walk past you, fishing out the keys for his car.

“Mean what, sugar plum?” and you had half a mind to roll your eyes. Suddenly baffled that his demeanor changed so quickly.

“Don't change the subject. Do you or do you not mean it?” She had stopped walking. And halfway on his step Soshiro had turned towards her. A hint of shock on his expression, but it was so miniscule that you were second guessing if it was truly there.

And his grin had been all the same.

…

Silence would engulf the two for a moment. The type that had been sickening if it went on for too long. But Soshiro hadn't let it get that far. And he spoke.

“I mean it.”

He had turned to avoid your gaze. His hand fidgets to fish out the keys in his pockets, despite having already found it long ago. “I’ve been meaning to talk to you about it for a while..I just..didn't know how.”

“So you shamelessly announce it to the entire Third Division?” You couldn't help but smile. Reaching out for his hand until she held him firmly. And his touch had all but devoured her warmth.

“Do ya’ have to remind me?”

“Yeah. You dug your own grave on that one.” A chuckle escaped your lips. And he turns to you. With unusually pink cheeks that had reddened up to his ears. A rare sight to behold it seems.

“So?” He started. “Do you want to? Be with me, I mean.”

“Hmm…let me think..” You had walked much closer to him. Until you were practically chest to chest with his solid form. And before you knew it, you were leaning up to capture his lips for a momentary kiss. Taking his breath away like all the times he had done the same to you.

Though, you hadn't expected his immediate reply when he slid his free hand to your jaw. Replying back with purposeful kisses. This time, slow and drawn out. Not at all the rush you were used to from all the kisses prior. The haste was likely a result from not wanting to get caught.

And the moment you pull away, you could see the familiar cheeky grin he has on that face of his. Thumb running across the underside of your jaw. “I assume that's a yes?”

“What do you think, genius?”

You feel yourself be pulled into a tight embrace. And you could smell the fresh laundry of his uniform invade your senses. His scent had been all but intoxicating. Relaxing you to the bone. Helping you feel safe within his arms that not even a single Kaiju would dare threaten.

“Yer’ really keepin me second guessing huh? I suppose I deserve that.” He spoke, burying his face against the crown of your hair. Relishing in the feeling of your steady form.

And he supposes he'll have to ask a thousand times more if he was allowed to.

So that no more second guesses are made.

[agirlwithglam]

but honey, what about you?

you're always there for others. always listening to them about their problems, always trying to help them out, make them feel appreciated and included, but what about you? you, my sweet princess are so gentle and kind to others, are so considerate and uplifting with others, you are perfect, or at least you aim to be. but honey, what about you? you give and give and give so much love and appreciation to people in your life, but yet you dont give it to yourself? what kind of crusty musty dusty behaviour is this? it is not arrogant or rude to love yourself the same way you love others. i promise you, it is not. and if the people around you currently can't understand that, then i promise you that one day you will find someone who will.

but in the meantime, my only request is to treat yourself with the same unlimited love you give others. listen to your own problems, be gentle and kind and patient with yourself, try thinking about yourself for once, ok?

you, my dear angel, deserve the same treatment as you treat others. but then you find yourself wondering that if thats how it should be... why don't i feel loved and included? because not everyone has the same heart as you sweetheart. not everyone has the same pure intentions and heart as your own beautiful, flawless self.

remember that you are completely perfect, just the way you are. girliepops, you are thee dream girl. are you funny? caring? patient? kind? understanding? inclusive? positive? happy? loving? smart? have a good personality? then girl stop worrying. literally the only thing thats missing is the confidence and self love. you're perfect. not even kidding. stop lying down on a puddle so others don't get wet. thats not your responsibility. let me rephrase that: it is not your responsibility to disrespect or hurt yourself for others. in fact, not only is it not your responsibility, it is something that you absolutely mustn't do. don't laugh at something thats rude to you. don't be desperate in trying to entertain others. you are not on this earth to entertain others, but to entertain yourself.

by all means, love people above and beyond, but that includes you. your love for you must be unlimited. why? because every. single. inch. of you deserves love.

tbh idk how much more i can say this. love yourself. love yourself. love yourself!! please oh for the love of god, believe that you're deserving of a pure kind of love, the way you love others. you're more than deserving! own it! <3

[gravehags]

let the devil in

Pairing: Cardinal Copia x f!Reader (Curator!Reader)

Rating: EXPLICIT, MDNI

Tags: OH THEY FUCKIN, PinV, loss of virginity, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, improper timing of satanic prayer, lots of ooey gooey feelings, secondo being a real one, stelline the rat makes a brief return, sister imperator being unsettling as shit

Words: 6,803

Summary: You have just about had enough of dancing around one another. It's now or never.

a/n: bro writing this had me shaking THIS IS IT, THE BIG ONE god i hope it lives up to my hype

The remainder of your time off passes without incident - for better and for worse. 

Copia has been lovely - a perfect gentleman - but as much as you appreciate his sweet words and his kind heart, you’re left wondering why he hasn’t made any…advances towards you. When your kisses turn heated he shies away and you don’t pursue the issue, wondering if you’re just coming on too strong. Wondering if he regrets the evening you spent together on New Years Eve. You try not to let it get to you but every night you lie awake, staring up at the ceiling worried that he has regrets. Part of you - the part that sees the sincerity in his eyes when he dotes on you, the logical part - tells you that he’s just being cautious. The other part of you…well. That little parasite is constantly in your ear telling you he’s just being kind - too kind to rip the bandaid off and break it off with you. Back and forth these two sides play tug of war and you’re the one left to suffer in silence. And it’s not just your mind that suffers but your body. Your body aches for him, your fingers frantically pressing against your clit in a poor imitation of the curve of his cock. You crave his touch and are filled with sadness as you watch the bruises his fingers left on your thighs yellow and fade. You want to bring your concerns up to him but the fear that the awful little parasite in you has been right all along keeps your mouth shut. So you let him court you - bring you more flowers (dark red peonies this time, you dried the roses he gave you the moment they began to wilt and now the bundle hangs from your bedroom mirror), hold your hand on your daily walks, eat by your side - and hope that through sheer force of will he seeks out your embrace once more. You’re almost relieved when you start back at work again, able to keep your hands and mind busy with something other than your unsettling thoughts and anxiety-fraught fledgling relationship.

–

Copia feels as if he’s going mad.

Not from you, never from you but…his desire for you. The way his body and his mind relive the feel of your cunt pressed up against him, the heat and wet pushing against his clothed cock. He clenches his fist and shifts in his office chair, the wood creaking beneath him. He’s trying his best - his very best - to be good and sweet and docile for you. To treat you like he wants to, like he knows you deserve. But his want for you is all-consuming, dogging him day and night, in your presence and without it. He wants your body - wants to corrupt your body - true, but more than that he wants…you. Hungers for your soul, your love. Wants to crawl inside your veins and make a home in your heart. He’s told you he loves you, true, but would the extent of it scare you off? He’s torn by wanting to confess the darkest parts of his passion to you and keeping you at a safe distance, like a porcelain doll on a shelf. New Year's Eve left him reeling, dizzy even as he slept beside you that night and you curled into him. You’re so good to him - far better than he deserves - and he can feel the lust radiating off of you whenever your kisses become heated. The devil whispers for him to let go, let you untether that beast inside him that he tries so hard to muzzle. The chain that holds him back weakens day by day, every moment you give him that look from across the couch or the dinner table he’s closer to ruin.

Which leads him to today. 

You’ve popped by his office on your lunch break, standing by the windows and holding his hands in yours. 

“Come over to my place tonight?”

He’s about to answer when there’s a knock on the door and it swings open. When he sees Secondo standing there he drops your hands as if burned and takes a step away from you.

“Mi scusi, I’ve interrupted something,” Secondo turns to leave but Copia calls out.

“No, no. Eh, nothing interrupted. She was just leaving - weren’t you, signorina?”

He immediately regrets his choice of words when he sees you jolt as if slapped at the cold tone of his voice and the return of your old title. Secondo’s sharp gaze flicks back and forth between you and him but he remains silent.

“Y-yeah. Okay. Sorry, Secondo. Goodbye, Cardinal.”

Ouch. He deserves that. As does he deserve the way you leave and shut the door behind you without a second glance back to him. Anxiety sinks heavy in his stomach as he lowers himself to slump on the end of his desk. He nearly forgets his fratello is there when the imposing papa clears his throat.

“Che cazzo, stronzo?” he barks, making Copia wince and fold in on himself. He’s not sure if it’s wiser to play dumb or fess up to his feelings but judging by the steely look in Secondo’s eye, he’ll take nothing less but the truth.

“It’s…a long story.”

“No it isn’t,” Secondo snarls, stalking over to him and jabbing him in the chest with a long finger. “You’re being chicken shit, aren’t you?”

Leave it to Secondo to suss out the reality of the situation in a heartbeat. Copia shifts himself out of poking distance and rounds the desk to collapse in his chair.

“I…eh…sì.”

Secondo crosses his arms and stares down at him imperiously.

Copia reaches up and rubs the bridge of his nose, unsure of how much detail to give him. Judging from the look on Secondo’s face, he wants to hear all of it.

“So we…got together. The night of the Yule gathering. I walked her back to her rooms and we… eh…made out along the way. We got to her place and she invited me in and I…I wanted to treat her as she deserves, sì? Flowers, dates, chocolates, the whole shebang. So I told her that. Then she–”

His voice cracks and he clears his throat, the mere memory of the incident enough to rile him up.

“She tells me she’s a virgin. A virgin, Secondo. Sathanas, I nearly grabbed her and had her in the damn hallway.”

Secondo makes a noise, his eyebrows rocketing up. He’s clearly not unmoved by this information either.

“So after that I…I try my best - my fucking best - to keep my composure. And maledetto inferno she did not make it easy, the little minx. And then I asked her out on a date. Our first. We went to Lucia’s on New Year’s Eve - came back, opened a bottle of champagne and well. Things escalated.”

“Did you…?”

“No,” Copia says hastily, “I mean…we didn’t do nothing but she remains ah…intact. Since then I-I don’t know what to do. The way she looks at me, the way she kisses me, touches me…”

“Fratello,” Secondo says, leaning against the wall and crossing his legs at the ankle, “forgive me but I’m not seeing the problem with a beautiful, young virgin desiring you.”

“No, no, no, that’s not it,” Copia says, “it’s not what she wants that scares me…it’s what I want. Secondo, I love her more than anything, desire her more than anything but…I’m afraid if she sees the extent of my passion, my obsession with her I’ll…I’ll drive her away. Like everyone else, sì? So I restrain myself at every turn.”

Secondo nods, quiet for a moment before speaking carefully.

“Copia, have you considered telling her any of this? That perhaps maybe sharing your fears with her - someone who loves you very deeply in return - will help alleviate your angst? Not to mention you’re probably driving the poor girl mad with lust, vecchio cane.”

Copia snorts and Secondo smiles.

“You two were so blind for so long, unwilling to see the feelings you had for one another when to everyone else it was obvious. She was made for you, and you for her. I’ve seen you chase after a few people over the years, fratello, and you looked at none of them the way you look at her. So tell her. Show her, for fuck’s sake. You know full well how many in this abbey would kill to be in your position, huh? Terzo, for one, which is why this stays between us, sì? You need to make your move before he catches wind of her…condition.”

Copia nods vigorously, heaving a deep sigh and tipping his head against the back of his chair.

“Grazie, Secondo. For listening, as you always have.”

Secondo nods solemnly before pushing himself off the wall and making to leave.

“W-why did you come in originally?” Copia asks.

Secondo shrugs and winks his white eye.

“Brotherly intuition. Ciao, Copia.”

With a little wave the papa is gone and Copia sighs.

He’d come see you tonight. It was now or never.

–

You make sure to stay out of Copia’s way the remainder of the day, more confused than angry. When he’s with you he’s hot and cold - professing his love but ultimately shying away from your touch - and when you’re around others, well. With Terzo he’s possessive, with Secondo he’s jumpy. What is going on in that head of his? Well. Doesn’t matter. You’ve already made your mind up to go to him tonight and sort things out. He’s got confession duty until eight which gives you plenty of time to…prepare. A shiver runs through your body at the implication that if you play your cards right, tonight could be the night. Perhaps…you look at the small bundle of keys on the lanyard around your neck, sorting through them to find a specific one. He gave you the key to his rooms last week. Perhaps he would be more ah…pliant…to your desires were you to simply be…waiting for him. You giggle, actually giggle aloud, in your empty office. He’s not going to know what hit him.

You’re distracted the rest of the day, head filled with plans and scenarios, and you move through your tasks mechanically. When Sister Imperator drops by to give you a heads up about another painting she bought at auction she gives you a curious look. She’s been kind of weird around you since after the break - looking at you shiftily during meetings - and you’d be unsettled by it were your head not already filled with other things. When she turns to leave your office, she casually tosses “why don’t you take the rest of the day, hmm?” over her shoulder. You sputter, baffled as to how she seemed to know, and she turns around to give you a tight smirk before leaving with her red stilettos tapping on the marble. You’re holding your breath watching her retreat down the hall and you look at your watch.

3:21 PM

You’ve got hours but there’s a lot you have to cram in before then. First to head to the dining hall and wolf down a meal, then to Primo for a restock of your…meds, then to your quarters to shower and figure out what you’re going to wear. 

Better get going.

By the time you finish your tasks and return to your quarters, it’s 5:36 PM. You were waylaid by a group of siblings after you left Primo’s greenhouse who politely asked you to help them take pictures for the Ministry’s social media account. Dropping your keys and phone on the side table, you strip and leave a trail of clothes on the way to the bathroom. Your shower is swift but you still make sure to use your best smelling products. You go through your skincare routine and step out to look at the clock next to your bed.

6:17 PM

Shit. You feel like you're pushing it and you’re glad you ultimately decided not to wash your hair tonight. Padding out into your bedroom, you open your drawers and rifle through them. You wanted something that gave the impression you were…his for the taking. Something soft and well…virginal. When you pull a knee length cream colored silk nightgown out of your pajama drawer you make a loud noise of appreciation. A little wrinkled, maybe, but you doubt he would care. Tossing your towel on your bed you pull the slip over your head, shivering at the touch of the cool material. Your eyes travel to the top of your dresser and you spot your perfume - the one you know he loves - and give yourself a few spritzes before touching his gold grucifix on your collarbone. That should do it. But now you have to get from your quarters to his and somehow you think doing so in a thin nightgown isn’t the wisest decision so you grab your robe and wrap it snugly around you. Stepping into your slippers you walk out of your room and grab your phone and key, taking a deep breath.

It’s now or never.

The journey up the two floors to Copia’s quarters passes without incident, unless you count the siblings who saw your attire and gave you funny looks. Your hands are shaking - actually shaking - as you reach his door and unlock it, stepping inside. It’s dark.

“Shit,” you hiss, fumbling for the switch. When you manage to locate it and flip it on, the room is bathed in a soft yellow glow. His quarters are nice - not that yours are a dump, by any means - but the level of decorative detail has you inspecting every corner of his living space. Looking around you remove your robe and set it on a chair by the door. When you hear a few squeaks you shuffle over to the large rat cage in the corner, cooing at the little faces peering up at you. Stelline stands on her hind legs, nose snuffling in your direction.

“Hello, little loves,” you murmur, “I’ve got to be nosy for a second so you stay put, okay?”

When Stelline lets out a particularly loud squeak it makes you laugh so loud you clap your hand to your mouth. Before any more objections can be made you head to the other side of the room, past the wall of leaded glass windows, and through a doorway on the left. A small kitchen. Cute. Which means the other doorway leads…your heart thuds as you approach the darkened alcove and turn on yet another light switch. 

Copia’s bedroom.

It feels forbidden to be in this space and you step in cautiously, expecting at any moment to get busted for breaking and entering. It’s a decent size room - bigger than yours - with dark wood paneling and tapestries on the walls. There’s an empty fireplace on the left and a large dresser, as well as a high backed chair. There’s a doorway which undoubtedly leads to his bathroom and…there it is. A large four-poster bed with dark red hangings and matching covers. You swallow thickly, stepping over to it. This could be it, you think, running your hands over the duvet. This could be the place where y—wait, what’s that?

There’s a scrap of black peeking out from under his pillow and curious, you reach for it. When you pull the item out, your jaw drops.

Those. Those are yours. Your…

“That little pervert!” you crow, veins flooded with warmth at the thought of what he did with your underwear. Your dirty underwear. Filthy man…filthy delicious man. Well who are you to deprive him of his simple pleasures, you think as you stuff the garment back under the pillow. Should everything go right tonight you’ll tease him about it…afterwards. Shaking your head you look down at your phone.

7:21 PM

Still got about forty minutes to kill, assuming confession doesn’t go over. Suddenly you’re kicking yourself for rushing all day and walk over to the chair to plop down. Hopefully a little time on your phone will pass the minutes.

You’re on your…how many games of solitaire was this?...when you hear the distinct sound of a key in a lock. You can feel the blood drain from your face as you set your phone aside and grip the arms of the chair. When he enters and shuts the door behind him, making his weird little noises, you can’t help but smile. 

“Buonasera, i miei bambini!”

You can hear him scoot over to his rats, sighing deeply. He talks to them for a few moments before his footfalls begin to approach where you are. He’s got his biretta in hand as he spots you and stands frozen in the doorway, mouth agape.

“Hey,” you say, slowly rising out of the chair.

It takes him a moment to speak, too distracted by your outfit.

“Cara…” he breathes, setting his biretta down on his dresser, “I-I was going to come to you tonight.”

“Hmm, well,” you shrug, “beat you to it.”

There’s a ringing silence between the two of you, your heart thundering against your ribs. You take a step towards him.

“Copia, you don’t have to hold back. You don’t have to…have to hide from me. I love you. You know that.”

“Sì,” he whispers, “but do you know how much I love you? How I would do anything for you - to you - if you let me? Dolcezza I–”

“So what if I let you?” you ask, taking another step towards him. “What if I want you to? What if I’ve always wanted you to? What if you’re the only one I’ve ever–” you take two more steps towards him until you’re a breath apart, “--wanted to?”

He exhales shakily, breath stirring the hairs around your face.

“I’m giving you permission, Copia,” you breathe, “I want you to take, and take, and take from me until I have nothing left to give. I’m yours, my love. I’m–”

You don’t finish your declaration - don’t get a chance. Copia lunges at you like an animal, wrapping his arms around you drawing you snug against his chest with his lips pressed against yours. He’s never kissed you like this before - like a starving man - lips and teeth and tongue mingling with yours and peppered with groans and growls. He’s holding you so tight he squeezes the breath from your lungs as he nips at your throat, ravenous.

“Mine,” he growls, “amata mia. I’m going to make you sing, bellezza.”

When he licks along your carotid you gasp, and gently push at him.

“Let me undress you,” you breathe as you pant, “please Copia I want to see you.”

Copia pauses and pulls away to rest his forehead against yours before nodding. When he takes a step away from you, you mourn the warmth of his body.

“Go on, amore mio,” he murmurs.

“I-I don’t know where to start,” you confess with a smile. He offers his hands out to you.

“Here.”

This act alone is far more intimate than anything the two of you have done before. You know how he is about his hands and when you reach for them your own shake. Your fingers slide up the palm and wrist, taking the zipper and pulling. Gently, you ease each finger out of its sheath and pull the leather away. His hand is…beautiful. Large, freckled - like the rest of him - with a dusting of fine brown hair and–

“What happened?” you ask quietly, index finger tentatively brushing against the scar tissue in the center. “Copia is that–”

“Sì,” he answers simply and you reach for his other hand to repeat the process. You want to know, want to ask why but stay silent and save your curiosity for another time. Once the other one is bare you take them both in your hands and look at him.

“Beautiful,” you say softly, keeping your eyes on his as you raise each palm to your lips and place a firm, lingering kiss at the center. Some of the raw hunger leaves his eyes - replaced with utter adoration.

“What’s next?”

“This,” he points to his grucifix. It takes you a minute of peering at his pellegrina before you see where the bejeweled accessory is hooked. Delicately you detach it and set it on the dresser.

“Next?”

“My fascia,” Copia whispers, gesturing to his belt. When you loosen it from his waist, the long red material sliding through your hands, he watches you intently. You fold the garment up neatly and set it aside.

“Cassock?” you ask.

He nods, guiding your fingers to his neck. Each button feels like an eternity and by the time you reach his waist he can sense your quiet frustration.

“We can cheat with this one,” he murmurs, grabbing the sides and inching them up his body before pulling the garment over his head. When the red wool falls in a pile on the floor, you regard it fondly.

“I don’t know if I can wait any longer, amore,” he says, standing before you in his clerical shirt, suspenders, and trousers.

“One last thing, please,” you say before darting away and into the bathroom. You rummage around in the linen closet for a moment before pulling out a rag and turning on the sink. When you return to him with the soaked cloth he looks perplexed until you raise it to his face.

“If I’m going to see you naked,” you say, gently wiping away the paint on his right eye, “I want all of you naked.”

He chuckles, hands behind his back as you remove every bit of the Cardinal you can find. When you finish, he takes the rag from you and tosses it to the floor.

“On the bed, amata,” there’s a darkness, a self-assuredness in his tone that would feel almost foreign to you if you hadn’t heard it first on New Year’s Eve. It makes a shiver run down your spine as you step over to his bed. He follows, toeing off his shoes and reaching down to remove his socks, mismatched eyes watching you like a hawk as you clamber onto the red duvet. He pauses at the foot of the bed and slides his suspenders off his shoulders so they hang by his sides before unbuttoning the first few buttons of his clerical shirt to expose a pale sternum covered in more fine brown hair. You blink up at him before taking a deep breath, sitting up on your knees, and pulling the nightgown over your head. The garment falls to the rug in a whisper and there you are. Bare. Your heart is in your throat as you lean backwards against the pillows, presenting yourself to him.

Copia doesn’t look hungry anymore. 

He looks feral.

When he presses his knee on the bed and slowly begins to crawl towards you, your breathing comes in pants. He urges your legs apart, spreading you open for him and eyeing the thatch of curls at the juncture of your thighs before situating himself between your knees.

“Dolcezza,” he growls, bare hands ghosting over your hips without actually touching you, “will you join me in prayer?” 

Your mouth falls open.

“N-now?” His eyes fall to the heaving of your breasts as you continue to take ragged breaths. The drag of his gaze along every dip and swell of your body makes your face heat up.

“Sì, amore mio. For when else am I to give thanks to Sathanas for this most blessed gift? What better place than right–” he hands touch your knees, making you jump, “--here?” His hands slide up your thighs as he shuffles forward to loom over you, breath dancing with yours. Mismatched eyes bore into yours, the corner of his lips curled slightly in a wicked smile.

You nod.

“Unholy Father,” he begins before leaning down to slot his lips against yours. The kiss is unhurried, decadent even, and when his tongue slides hotly along yours you whimper into his mouth. The chuckle that reverberates into you has your body arching into his, eager for his touch. You think he’s about to do just that when he pulls away, a lewd string of saliva connecting the two of you. 

“Today I give thanks for this–” he inhales deep through his nose “--glorious favor you have bestowed upon me, a most faithful son.”

He lowers himself towards you once more, to press open-mouthed kisses along your throat. With some hesitancy, you bring your hand up to his head and drag your fingers through his hair, causing him to groan. His tongue traces a path across your clavicle - briefly pausing to kiss the gold grucifix that rests there - and continues down your sternum. 

“For what greater honor–” he pauses to suck at the swell of your breast, “--can you provide than an eager–” his lips drag torturously close to where you need him, “--willing–” his tongue darts out to graze the taut bud, “sweet–” he hovers over your nipple, eyes trained up on yours, and his hot breath makes you shiver, “--virgin.” When he finally, finally lowers his lips to slip the hardened bud into his mouth you let out a keening moan. He sucks hungrily, teeth teasing at it and tongue soothing the catch of bone on flesh. 

“Copia, fuck,” you breathe, fingers buried in his hair to cradle him against you, “mmm just like that. Just like that, love.”

He rewards the endearment by bringing his hand up to your other breast and cupping the soft flesh in his large palm. When his thumb brushes over your nipple your hips buck again, and you can feel him smile against your skin. He wetly pulls off of you and you let out an undignified whimper at the loss.

“I have her heart,” he says, and you’re wildly confused for a moment before it dawns on you that he’s not done praying. The realization makes your head fall back against his pillows, your tongue sliding out to wet your lips. He’s abandoned your breasts now and has slid further down, hands on your waist. 

“I have her mind,” he places a soft kiss to the curve of your belly once - and again - before sliding down even further.

“Her soul–” he kisses the underside of your stomach once more, his mustache tickling you, “--I’m working on—“ 

When he glances up at you with a grin you smile back, deliriously enchanted, “--and her body…” 

His breath stirs the curls between your legs and your heart pounds. “...Is now mine.” The low, almost sinister tone of his voice makes you gasp, knowing full well what comes next. 

“Nema.”

“N-nema.”

He bows his head in reverence and taking his thumbs, spreads you open and drags his tongue through your slick folds. The sensation sends a shockwave through you, your back arching off the mattress as you squirm.

“Copia!”

His hands fly to your hips, gripping and kneading the flesh as he continues to work his tongue against you. He’s content to lap at your entrance for a couple of minutes before dragging the muscle upwards slightly and–oh. When he curves the flat of his tongue along your swollen clit he really has to hold you down. Your fingers cling to the silvered brown strands on his head, holding him against you and through your lowered lids you can see his hips minutely grinding against the mattress. You’re laughing, high and breathy, as he flicks the tip of his tongue against you, better than your fingers or any vibrator. When he moans into your cunt, fingers digging into your flesh you gasp.

“Fuck, my love, right there. Don’t stop, don’t stop, Copia please.”

He grins against you, mouth returning to gather the slick at your entrance and the tip of his long, large nose grinding against your clit. The sensation is overwhelming as your body thrashes and, you think deliriously, he’s definitely going to leave marks with how firmly he’s holding you. When he pulls away from you - no doubt to catch his breath - he leans up on his elbows a little and gives you a wolfish grin. 

“Dolcezza, what a sacrifice you make. Ave Sathanas.”

You laugh, grinning down at him as he returns to his task. When he wraps his lips around your clit and sucks, again and again, you know it’s over. You’re babbling nonsense, sweet little words of praise at your lover, as you feel that familiar wave begin to crest inside you.

“Copia, oh fuck Copia I’m so close honey.”

He hums around you, hips continuing to rut into the duvet as he devours you. When you no longer have the ability to form words, you moan, higher and higher as you grip his hair and the covers. He pulls away slightly, making you cry out in desperation but when he returns he gently nudges the tip of his finger inside you. It’s not enough to make any real impact but the knowledge that he’s simply toying with you as you thrash below him has you letting out breathy, hysterical laughter.

“So good for your Cardinal,” he pants, and when you meet his gaze you can feel yourself clenching around his finger. “So tight for me and I haven’t even filled you yet. Tell me - did you use your own fingers while thinking of me?”

“Copia pl–”

“Ah, ah, ah,” he chastises, licking his lips. “I won’t give you what you want until you answer me, amore mio.”

You’ve only seen glimpses of this side of him before - hints at what lurked below the surface but now that you’re being fully exposed to this Copia - self-assured and smug in his power - your hunger for him increases tenfold.

“Yes, I-I did.”

“How many?”

He asks the question with all the casualness of asking for the price of apples at the farmer’s market.

“D-depends. Sometimes two. Sometimes thre–ah!”

He doesn’t even let you finish before he’s easing a second finger into you, stretching you open.

“My fingers are much bigger than yours, amore,” he says as he begins to slide himself in knuckle deep. “We’ll start with two today to eh, warm you up, sì? Would you like that?”

He’s right - his fingers are a lot bigger than yours and when he pauses to gently crook them inside you your jaw falls open in a desperate moan.

“Y-yes. Yes! Fuck, Copia just like that. Please, my love, please.”

“You beg so prettily for me, dolcezza,” he growls, lowering his face to your cunt once more, “keep going.”

The sounds he draws out of you as he licks and sucks and fucks his fingers into you are unlike any you’ve made before. Somewhere in the back of your fuzzy mind you wonder if people passing by in the hallway can hear you but that only makes your hips buck into his touch even harder. You do as he asks and begs, promising him anything, anything as long as he doesn’t stop, please don’t stop. When you finally come apart, your muscles burn and you scream his name - fuck now you know someone heard that - as he presses against that sweet spot inside you. You don’t even notice him removing his mouth and pulling back so he can watch your face contort as you pant and sweat against his pillows. Your vision has gone blurry as you stare at the canopy above you, only somewhat aware of him sliding his fingers out of you and pulling back. You look up at him, sitting on his haunches looking both smug and full of affection, as he licks at the mess on his hand.

“C’mere,” you say, crooking a finger at him. He obliges with a smile, and when his face approaches yours you grab him by the back of the head and pull him in for a slow, wet kiss. 

“Mm–like the taste of yourself, ragazza mia? Filthy thing.”

You can feel his cock nudging you through his pants and you grind upwards against him. He growls into your mouth before pulling away.

“Don’t finish me before I get started, amata,” he purrs, leaning down to run his tongue along your jaw.

You laugh.

“That wasn’t you getting started?” you marvel, and he pulls back to give you a lewd wink. “Take these off, my love. I want to see all of you.”

He nods, sliding backwards off the bed to stand. You watch him intently as he finishes unbuttoning and untucking his clerical shirt before unfastening his pants and sliding them and his underwear down to step out of them. He’s…gorgeous. You always knew he was but seeing him like this - bare and freckled, the brown hair on his body abundant - you sigh. Something dreamy and romantic sits on your tongue until your eyes travel to the juncture of his thighs and your mouth runs dry. He crawls on his hands and knees towards you, settling in between your legs and stroking his thick, reddened cock.

“You, eh. You like it?”

You nod dumbly, unable to form anything coherent. His body is clearer now in this light - he’s got a scar on the right side of his abdomen and on his left pectoral you see–

“A tattoo?!” you splutter loudly. 

The self-satisfied smile on his face drops as he lets go of his cock and it bobs in front of him.

“Really? That’s what you’re focusing on?”

The ridiculousness of the whole situation hits you at once - the two of you nude, you being a virgin, him with his tattoo, both of you in this fucking Satanic abbey - and you tilt your head back and laugh. He growls and throws himself forward, caging you in underneath him.

“I show you my cock and you laugh?” he chastises you, mustache twitching as he fights back a smile. “Have some dignity, piccola vergine mia.”

Your laughter dies and you take in the flushed face of the man above you, strands of hair falling into his eyes. 

“I love you.”

His eyes get misty, as do yours, as he reaches up to cup your cheek.

“Amata mia, dolcezza mia, vita mia, tutto mio. Ti amo. Per sempre.”

He leans down and places a sweet, soft kiss on your cheek before nuzzling into it.

“Are you ready?”

You cup his jaw and run your thumb over his cheekbone.

“Have your wicked way with me, Cardinale,” you smile, your hips shifting up against his. The drag of his wet cock against the heat of you makes him groan.

“Diavoletta mia,” he growls, leaning back and taking himself in hand. You spread your legs wider, still soaked from your earlier activities, and present yourself to him. When his cockhead prods at your entrance, you jump and his eyes fly to yours for confirmation. You nod and gently, slowly, he pushes himself in. There’s no pain, only pressure, as he slides in, his breathing ragged in an effort to maintain control. When he bottoms out, your bodies flush to one another, you pant up at him.

“Y-you okay?” he stammers, clearly trying his hardest to restrain himself. You watch a drop of sweat slide down his temple.

“Copia,” your voice is calmer than it’s been all evening, “don’t hold back.”

You feel his arms wobble on either side of you at your words as he slides nearly all the way out of you and pushes back in. He repeats the action, each thrust gaining more force than the last. The feel of him stretching you is divine, hypnotic, and watching him slowly come apart above you even more so. He’s moaning desperately with each slide of his cock, his eyes frantically searching yours.

“That’s it, baby,” you breathe, canting your hips upwards to meet his thrusts. “Just like that. Don’t stop.”

When you experimentally clench around him he whines, his hands seeking yours to entwine your fingers. He fucks into you a little harder, little deeper with a shift of his hips, making you arch your back and press your breasts against him.

“S-so good,” he whimpers, “so tight, amore. So–ah–sweet for me, always.”

All you can do is moan in response as he jerks against you. You’re full - so deliciously full of him - and wildly you wonder how you went this long without him. This man that you adored so deeply - who adored you back - who always cared, always listened. You can feel tears prick the corners of your eyes and you whimper as you wrap your legs around his waist as tight as you possibly can. His movements are limited now by your actions but you don’t care - all you care about is keeping the two of you joined as close as possible.

“Amore, amore, amore,” he whispers, pressing his forehead against yours. Despite his thrusts no longer being quite as deep, they are no less forceful.

“Thank you,” you manage to eke out, “thank you. Vita mia. Mondo mio. You’re perfect.”

He chuffs out a noise between a sob and a pant, clearly moved by your use of language. The snap of his hips picks up and you can feel that pressure building inside of you once more. 

“Copia,” you whimper, “Copia I’m close, I’m so close, don’t stop. Please, my love.”

His fingers tighten in yours, palms slick with sweat and you feel yourself falling, falling. Your cunt spasms around him as his thrusts become wild, erratic and you feel wave upon wave of pleasure spreading from your core through your limbs and into your fingertips. It’s different from your usual orgasms - less violent, less frantic - but no less intense. You can feel the tears sliding down into your hair as you buck up against him, desperate to wring out every last moment of the feeling.

“Cara,” Copia’s voice is hoarse, “I’m–I’m going–”

“Let go. Show me how much you love me, Copia.”

Your command is all the permission he needs and lets out a low, broken moan of your name as his hips spasm into yours and you feel his seed pulse inside of you. Idly, you think about how glad you are that you visited Primo before this. You look up at the man on top of you and reach up to push his hair out of his eyes. His eyes are bright, white eye glowing, as he shakes and struggles to hold himself up. Gently, you ease him to the side, making sure to keep the two of you joined as he collapses next to you. You’re simply not ready to let go yet. The two of you tremble in each other’s arms, content to bathe in the heavy emotion. Your tears have dried and now a calm washes over you.

“Hey,” you murmur, fingers raking through Copia’s sweaty hair. He’s watching you carefully - every dart of your eyes and twitch of your cheeks - as if he’s anticipating something.

“Hey,” he says softly, reaching out to run his thumb over your bottom lip. “So was that, eh. Satisfactory?”

You snort and tug lightly at his hair.

“I think I can now say I’ve been thoroughly and successfully ravished, Cardinal. This must be quite a feather in your cap. You’ve made your Unholy Father proud.”

Now it’s his turn to snort.

“Just be thankful no one else found out about your, eh, former condition. You’d have had clergy and siblings and ghouls all lined up for you.”

“Oh,” you begin with a not-so-innocent tone, “so that’s why you romanced me, huh? Wanted first dibs?”

“Cara, no,” Copia says, deadly serious all of a sudden, “this isn’t–I would never–”

You laugh, dragging your fingers through his chest hair.

“My love, it’s been almost a year, I thought you’d be used to my stupid jokes now.”

“Ah!” he rolls his eyes and waves at you dismissively, making you laugh even harder.

You finally have to separate, his softened cock sliding out of you as you push backwards. When you try to swing your legs over the bed and stand a hand wraps around your bicep and hauls you back down to bounce on the mattress.

“And where do you think you’re going, signorina?”

“Well I was gonna go pee and then–”

Quick as a cat, he rolls onto you, grinning down at you.

“Bellezza mia,” he purrs, “I hope you didn’t make plans for the next few days. We have, eh, lots of time to make up for. And you,” he leans down and runs his tongue over your pulse point, feeling it thunder against your skin, “have so much to learn.”

When the two of you text Sister Imperator with suspiciously matching illnesses the next morning, she smiles to herself. 

All in Lucifer’s plan.

[kozumesphone]

💌┊₊˚⊹꒷ RED WINE SUPERNOVA .ᐟ

⤷ piper mclean x daughter of dionysus!reader ‧₊˚ ⋅

♡ liked by aphroditesfav.piper, mcshizzleman, j.grace, sallysgoldenboy and 96,337 others

tagged: aphroditesfav.piper

yn.yln baby, why don't you come over? red wine supernova, falling into me . . .

view all 69,325 comments

aphroditesfav.piper I love you so so much my baby 💓 I have no idea what I did in my past life to deserve someone as amazing and perfect as you, princess <3 happy 6 months of chaotic gayness 😌🫶 ilysm!!! AND thank you SO much for playing all my favs on your guitar, I think I fell asleep crying about that so 🫣

ㅤ ↳ yn.yln bro literally. our chaos potential is so unmatched 😌 and babes stop- idk what I did to deserve YOU, someone who’s so stunning, smart, and loving. happy half a year to us, and here’s to many more years of us to come 🥂🤍 AHHH my love, i’m so so so happy you had fun w me <3 ilysm angel <3

larue.c she plays the guitar? and writes handwritten letters and adds lipstick marks? AND shares wine? wifey material fr 💋

ㅤ ↳ yn.yln STOP i’m blushing too much man 🫣

ㅤ ↳ aphroditesfav.piper HELLO?? that’s my girl right there- go smooch chris, clar 😭 gimme back my girl 😭

mcshizzleman FOUR PLUS FOUR???!!

ㅤ ↳ yn.yln ATE? no, WE DEVOURED, BABY 🗣️‼️ okay but fr. I owe you forever for helping me set up everything for this yesterday bb 🫶

ㅤ ↳ mcshizzleman all I ask is to be the best man at your wedding + that I be the godfather to your kids + that one of your children gets named after me. that’s all 😌

ㅤ ↳ aphroditesfav.piper homie you WISH 🙄

sallysgoldenboy exactly HOW much wine might have you consumed last night, without adult supervision, might I add? 🤨

ㅤ ↳ yn.yln less enough to drive us home sober dw, DAD ✊

j.grace congratulations, guys (: you’re literally endgame and my personal otp, so 🫡

ㅤ ↳ yn.yln AHAHAH JACE ILYSM BBY ❤️!!

♡ liked by yn.yln, larue.c, mcshizzleman, j.grace and 93,617 others

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aphroditesfav.piper so baby, let's get freaky, get kinky, let's make this bed get squeaky . . .

view all 69,490 comments

yn.yln BABY?? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH?????! running back home asap, be right there, my sweet angel ���‍♀️����

ㅤ ↳ aphroditesfav.piper i’ll be waiting for you, ma’m 🫡

ㅤ ↳ mcshizzleman ew

ㅤ ↳ yn.yln wdym ew ): i’m going home fast to bake stuff for pipes so she doesn’t blow up the kitchen ):

ㅤ ↳ aphroditesfav.piper oh my GOD, please have SOME faith in me

mcshizzleman KEEP IT PG 13 OH MY GOD, THERE'S KIDS ON THIS APP?? (@/j.grace 😞)

ㅤ ↳ aphroditesfav.piper you're just jealous shush ✋

↳ j.grace oh, shut up, leo 😒

↳ mcshizzleman yes, sir 🫡

dio.urlocaldrunkard should I be concerned?

ㅤ ↳ yn.yln LMAO no, chill, dad <3

larue.c if one of yall was a guy, you’d be pregnant like yesterday

↳ aphroditesfav.piper …valid

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@sunnitheapollokid @jgracie @canonfeminine @cinemaconrad @roses4plvto

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@moon-drop18 @d4rkdi0rrr @hopelesslyromantic-shark @saltwatergirl6 @hope92100

answering this req from char !

[dronebiscuitbat]

Oil is Thicker Then Blood (Part 17)

Aside from their new third. The night went rather similarly to how it normally would, Uzi had brought over several more movies for them to go through over the next few days. Pretty much resigning herself into cooping herself up in N's apartment while she was playing the part of Tera's live in nanny.

And currently, they were trying to choose which one to start with, N digging around the pile of disks as she laid with Tera, keeping the little one curled slightly under her arm so that there would be no more rolling away.

“N oh my robo-god just choose!” She laughed in faux irritation, not loud enough to wake the baby but definitely loud enough for N to pout back at her.

“But all of these are scary!” He pointed out, lifting up several of the boxes to reveal the graphic covers, Uzi just giggled mischievously.

“Dude we deal with way scarier stuff. Nothing compares to centipede J.” She replied, rolling her eyes at his second pout, adjusting the charge cord still sticking out of her like it would make any difference in her comfort.

“I guess…” He picked the one that had the least terrifying cover and popped it into the player, watching as the beginning credits zipped across the screen.

“What one did you pick?” She asked, head tilting to the side, small smile on her face.

“Uh… I didn't look at the title, just the cover.”

“Oooh~ Roulette.”

He didn't quite like the sound of that… were all of these the same level of terrifying? Was it like a “choose how you want to get traumatized” thing?

He settled onto the couch, holding his tail in his hands as Uzi focused entirely on the screen, well, her eyes were focused on the screen, the other hand was subconsciously petting the droneling snuggled next to her, still solidly in sleep mode.

Still being amazing at this, without even trying.

As the movie started the tension that had settled over N slowly unwound, this was… fine. A little creepy sure, but Uzi was right, it was tame in comparison to the genuine terror they'd already experienced, although the stakes being your life instead of a passive observer probably helped.

“Where… are they going? Why are they separating off from the rest of the group?” He asked as the main couple snuck off together, hand in hand, as one of the other characters was explaining that they should probably stick together, because something creepy was going on.

“To make out.” Uzi smirked, literally all these horror movies were exactly the same, teenagers were dumb… even in real life.

“Now?!” He asked incredulously, the entire group had just witnessed movement outside the house they were staying in, and they decide to leave? To kiss?

“Love is always the best decision.” She quoted him, and he felt his own words come slapping him in the face, that had felt so long ago now…

“That was an entirely different scenario, that was romantic, this- this is dumb.” He defended, watching as the couple went outside their relatively safe cabin leaving it unlocked so they could get back in. And went off into the woods in the middle of the night.

“They deserve this.” He mumbled to himself, and he half meant it, not only were they dumb, but complete assholes to the rest of their “freinds” that were totally going to get murdered.

Uzi cackled at his reaction, trying to muffled it after Tera stirred, thankfully she didn't wake up.

“Honestly yeah…” Uzi admitted watching as the camera followed the couple through the forest, the undergrowth getting deeper, darker, and way more thick around them, not that they seemed to notice.

“Immoral makeout sesh. Check.” Uzi hummed and N just shook his head.

“Seriously, what's so great about it that it's seen as this important? Rebecca and Darren did this too…” He was honestly talking more to himself then to Uzi, but once he realized he was referencing camp. He shut his mouth instantly.

“Oh I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to bring… that up.”

“It's fine.” She still had a smile on her face, and it wasn't a forced one; he knew what that looked like. It was a little pained, but it looked like she wasn't so effected by it anymore.

“Some people get turned on by danger?” She suggested, breezing right past whatever perceived mistake he'd made and barreling right into a dumb joke.

“Uzi!” He found himself blushing at her crass, even if it was such an Uzi thing to say, he hadn't expected it to come out of her mouth, she laughed a little at him.

“I mean, look at them, don't they need air?” Uzi brought his attention back to the screen, where the couple was noisely sucking face, hands going way too fast but going to places he didn't want to see.

He immediately ripped his head away from the screen. Watching drones make out was one thing (he'd went past a few couples the longer he spent in the bunker.) But watching humans had another level of uncanny valley, especially since his only real experience with them was Tessa. And her parents, but they were less pleasant to think about.

“Ew.” He found himself saying, which was surprising even for him because usually he was into romance, but right now all he felt disgusted.

“Really? You're grossed out? Damn I am rubbing off on you.” She laughed again, but blessedly fast forwarded it to when they finally stopped (which was ten whole minutes later, why was that necessary to include?!)

“It's not even that, it normally wouldn't bother me. I mean, I'm… a romantic.” He started, doing his best to phrase it in a way that didn't imply anything.

“A helpless romantic.” She corrected, shit eating grin and all, he felt his visor heat up again, yes he was, for her and her smart mouth.

“As I was saying, I've seen drones kiss before, that doesn't bother me. But I just fell like I don't wanna see… that? I dunno.”

He didn't want to see what should be private between two people? Maybe, would he feel the same way if it was him and someone else? Immediately, his processors betrayed him, serving him a hot and piping thought of Uzi up against a tree, hot breath leaving her, and him leaving a trail of kisses down her neck-

He shook his head so hard he could almost hear it rattle. That was not where his brain needed to go right now, in fact he needed to get far far away from that line of thinking pronto. He willed his furious blush away, wishing he could focus on the actual movie like Uzi was doing.

Uzi wasn't too focused on the movie either, instead she was having a private little daydream about pushing N up against a tree and kissing his cute little golden face until he was breathless. Thankfully she was stone faced, so long as she didn't look at him she wouldn't fluster, but that had taken some practice to reign in. Practice, because at this point thoughts like that were so common that she'd overheat constantly if she blushed at all of them.

Thankfully for N the rest of the movie pushed it out of his mind. Not because it suddenly became scary. Humans being chopped to bits with a meat cleaver was a lot less terrifying when you weren't human and you thought the entire cast was stupid. No, but it did become funny.

To make fun of.

The effects were laughably terrible, the killers mask was crooked the entire time, and, intentional or not, it destroyed any intimidating factor he had, since it looked more and more like a grown ass man in a bad Halloween costume.

It didn't help thar the voice acting was equally as bad, sounding sarcastic at best “Oh no don't kill meeeee.” And straight up bad at worse, some of the delivery was so off N had to rewind to even catch what they said.

“This movie is terrible.”

“This movie is laughably terrible.” She corrected him again, and he shot her a look that made her dissolve into laughter again.

He supposed she was right in that regard, they were making fun of it, and he no longer feared being scared tonight. Heck if all the movies were like this he wasn't fearful of ever being scared by them.

“Are all of them like this?” He asked, relaxing back into the couch with a sigh as he watched a teenage boy get decapitated, huh, he knew how that felt, ow.

“Only my favorite ones!” Uzi replied, laughing as one of the girls conveniently tripped over… something, her own stupidity most likely. Giving the killer time to catch up.

That didn't surprise him in the least, she was the one who wanted to go to earth and wipe out all the humans, so that tracked.

Still she kept trying to adjust, the cord seemed to be getting more and more uncomfortable the longer she laid.

“You good?” He asked as the movie began to wind down, the final girl setting a trap for the killer, to finish him off for good.

“I'm fine. Just… not used to having a baby attached to me. I can't get comfortable.” She admitted, crossing her arms awkwardly. N just smiled, and without thinking spread his arms to invite her to join him on his side of the couch.

She hesitated, before this there had always been some sort of plausible reason for them to end up in close proximity, weather it just be the size of what they were on or a traumatic event. Now though, there was no pretense. He was asking to be close because he wanted her close.

If she was looking for hints he might feel the same. This was her biggest one.

She did accept, crawling over to his lap where she could lean against his chest, she slotted perfectly there, tucked underneath his chin as she adjusted Tera again, only this time, N took her into his arms, removing the tension from her side almost entirely.

“Better?” He willed his voice to not crack like he was five, he hadn't meant for this to happen, he'd just… done it. Subconsciously. And now he was having to quell his feverishly humming core due to his own dumb actions.

“Heck yes… didn't realize how much she was pulling on me.” Her tension released immediately, and once again she found herself soothed by his ambient warmth, and his core humming underneath her. The movies credits had just begun to roll, that was fine, she'd seen it before.

“Maybe we can get you a baby bag or something, so she's not hanging off you and you don't have to carry her?” He suggested, and while on one hand that sounded *great*, and appealed directly to the “problem = solution” portion of her brain, it also made her fluster.

It would feel much more official then, that she was a parent as much as he was, it had been a feeling she'd been ignoring, starting from whenever they'd first seen Tera and growing every day since then. That this pillbaby, this… fragile thing. Was hers.

That she was a mom. And N was a dad.

And that thought made her giddy and flustered and scared. Best freinds don't typically adopt children together, even her very limited experience of friendship could tell her that.

"Uh... maybe..."

Their relationship right now was… complicated. They weren't together, neither of them had said anything or addressed it, but she did know that they were too close and their lives too intertwined to still just be calling it “freindship.”

And yet she was, and so was he. Because what else would either of them call it? She still couldn't completely prove he felt the same way! He'd been closer… more touchy. But that was kinda just N! "Boundaries" was not a word in his dictionary.

But here they were, cuddling, looking like a happy couple that had just brought their newborn home. She looked at them through the reflection of the now blank television.

N looked happy, extremely happy, eyes closed and holding both her and Tera close to his chest like they'd both slip through his fingers somehow, his tail was slowly wrapping itself around her leg, almost like it was trying to sneak up on her.

But her biggest hint? The thing that made her core flip when she realized? He was purring.

It was so soft it was almost impossible to hear. But she could feel it, the soft rhythmic vibrations that poured out of his core presumably without his knowledge. If he'd done it before she'd become… this. Then maybe it wouldn't have tipped her off so much. But now…

She had a purr too, another change made by the solver to her body to make her more like a disassembly drone, and her purr had only ever triggered when she was thinking about N, specifically how much she loved him.

While she was sure N's would be less specific in what and who triggered it, it something reserved for love. And considering she'd never heard it before, she could decern that it wasn't just something N just did.

Which meant it was her that was triggering it, or her and Tera together that was.

She felt a blush work it's way to her face as she looked up into N's visor, even though his eyes were closed, she knew he could still see her with his visor, and had probably been watching her the entire time.

So she just smiled, and curled herself into him. Hiding her face just in case she got flustered.

N liked her, and she finally had her proof.

[mrm0rgansw0man]

hi !! can i have a more angsty arthur fic of the reader admiring him from afar and wanting to give him all the love he’s deserving of but feels she doesn’t have the chance to ? :)))) happy ending would be nice maybe arthur reads a note of hers !

god i love writing angst. LETS DO THISSS

hope you enjoy!! Xx @risingtripletaurus

I can let you down, I can make you Hurt.

Bitter, freezing cold. That was all you felt. Just the cold and the ache in your heart. Your whole chest ached, from the cold or from the emotions you were feeling you didn't know.

This whole Blackwater fucked up mess was just what you needed. You had already been struggling, being new to the gang and trying to help out and earn your keep. And, not only that, but Arthur Morgan hated you. You were sure of it, you had no clue what you did to offend him but just until right before this mess he started pulling away from you.

He was always friendlier with all the women of the camp, but you and him had taken a liking to each other. But one day, it just stopped. The hellos. The cups of coffee he'd bring you every morning. The shared cigarettes. The random talks, it was so nice. You'd be lying if you said you hadn't fallen for him. You though he could be falling for you too, but looks like you were wrong. You knew it was too good to be true.

"You're so down." Charles said simply. You looked up at him, not even having noticed he came into the cabin you had been sitting in.

"I can practically feel it in the air around you." He continued. Your eyes flit away from him and back to the floor. You watched a few snowflakes melt into your boots.

"Why do you care?" You asked quietly. "I'm sure you've got much better things to worry about than my problems."

Charles shrugged. "Just wanted you to know I'm here if you want to talk. I'm not doing much lately, cause of this hand. So I've noticed more."

Tears welled in your eyes. You blinked them away before you thought Charles could notice. But he still did.

"I've never seen you like this before. I'm worried about you, (Name)." Charles said. His voice more stern now. "Ask anyone, it feels like and looks like, no offense, that the life has been drained out of you."

"It's jus' the cold..." You mumbled. "I'm fine Charles.."

"You know, I was sitting in this cabin with you for hours. You didn't move once. You didn't even know I was here, did you? And Abigail came in to try and talk to you, but it was like you were in a whole different world."

Uh oh. Fuck. He's got you there. You didn't even know Charles had come in, let alone Abigail.

"Have you ever had to love someone from a distance Charles?" You asked weakly. You finally lifted your head enough to meet his eyes.

"No." Charles said with a sigh. "But I can't imagine it's a great feeling."

"It's not." You said with a sniffle. "Not at all."

"Can I ask who it is?" Charles asked you cautiously.

You let out a choked cry. You took a few deep shaky breaths, trying to keep yourself together. It was getting harder and harder by the second. God dammit Charles why do you have to care?

"Arthur." You whispered, wiping away the few tears that managed to escape your eyes. "It's Arthur."

Charles didn't say anything, he only nodded. So you kept talking.

"He was so kind to me when I first started riding with you. We got on real well too." You said, finally starting to weep. Who cares anyways? "I started falling for him. Quick and hard, and could you blame me?"

"No, I was convinced he was sweet on you." Charles admitted. Though all it did was send more tears floding out of your eyes.

"He'd bring me coffee in the mornings. We'd talk. He always said Hi to me at the very least when we crossed paths." You said softly. "And he made sure I was eatin'- I mean you know how I was when I first got here."

"Always sick and thin as paper." Charles said grimly, having been on of the few people that helped take care of you during that hard time.

"Neither of us sleep very well, he'd come find me or I'd go find him. We had such nice talks on those nights, he opened up to me. Like really, really opened up to me. And I opened up to him too." You continued, your cries becoming harder and your voice rising.

"I don't know what I did!" You cried. "But one day it all just stopped! He wouldn't talk to me, he hasn't even looked me in the eyes Charles! I don't know what's wrong with me! I just want to love him!"

"Oh (Name)..." Charles started, but you cut him off.

"He deserves so much Charles!" You sobbed. "He is such a good man, no matter what he says when he looks in the mirror! I just want to love him, he doesn't even need to love me back! Do you know how pathetic that is? How disgustingly pathetic I am to love him like this!?"

You inhaled and exhaled at a frantic pace, running your hands over your tear soaked face. It was too much. You couldn't breathe. You wrapped your arms around yout face and buried yourself in your knees. Charles rushed to your side, kneeling down next to you. He placed both his hands on your shoulders and just stayed there, giving you something to hang onto. Keeping you grounded.

You finally lifted your head and met Charles's eyes, only to find them already locked on you.

"I just want to love him. T-that is all I w-want." You managed to get out between sobs. "And now I've lost m-my chance! I can't keep going like this Charles! He's- he's been through so much. That poor man has suffered and s-suffered and I just want t-to make him feel like he deserves something!"

"Arthur-"

"Needs me! And I need him to need me because look how badly I need him! If he doesn't love me the-then what am I supposed to do?!"

You broke apart, sobbing harder than you were before. Probably harder than you have ever cried in your life. Charles caught you, and he wrapped his arms around you. He let you sob and scream into his chest until you couldn't breathe.

"I just want a chance I just want a chance! I want to know what I did wrong!" Was all you could say, over and over again. Charles rocked you back and fourth, letting you cry yourself out. It took at least an hour, but eventually your cries had lulled to a stop.

Once your breath had returned to normal, Charles spoke.

"I'm going to go get Miss Roberts and Miss Gaskill. They'll take care of you. I'm going to talk to Arthur, don't you worry about this for another second." Charles said soothingly. It was all you could do to nod a yes at him. He pulled away from you, but right as he was about to reach the door you called out for him.

"Why are you being so kind to me?" You asked horsely. Charles looked back at you and gave you a small smile.

"First of all, I like you. Quite a bit, your a good person (Name)." He said simply. "And secondly, you haven't moved from that spot for over a day and you haven't even noticed. Someone needed to do something."

And with that, he left. You sat in silence until Abigail and Mary-Beth showed up. They tried to talk with you but you didn't have the strength to even reply to them. They accepted this, and helped you to your room and laid you down in your cot.

You laid there for what felt like hours, completely lost in thought.

"Glad to see your feelin' better, Miss." Arthur said, handing you a tin cup filled with scalding hot coffee. You took it gratefully.

"Thank you, Mr. Morgan." You said with a smile. "I've got to say I'm liking your company more and more each morning you visit me."

"Oh don't be too flattered, your jus' the only one up as early as me." Arthur said with a smirk, playfully elbowing you in the side. You chucked and hoped Arthur didn't see the blush spreading across your face.

"Well a girl can dream!" You said, that same flirty smirk crossing your face.

"Arthur! I need to talk to you!" Dutch called.

Arthur groaned in annoyance. He turned to leave, but at the last moment he turned back. He grabbed your hand and squeezed it.

"Meet me at the campfire tonight. We never get t' talk without gettin' bothered." Arthur said. You nodded your head happily as he turned to leave, running of to do whatever the hell Dutch wanted him for.

You felt yourself smiling at the memory, even if it was just a weak one.

That night at the campfire was the first of many, you two met every night you could. And that was when you truly began to fall for Arthur, those nights by the burnt out campfire. The last night it happened, you told him about your life before joining the gang, and why you were so sick when you first arrived.

"No one in my family was right." You said with a deep sigh. "My daddy hung himself in our living room right before my mama had me. And since then she just never had any happy in her head."

"Jesus.." Arthur mumbled. "Was your Mama good t'you, at least?"

"Pfft, no!" You said with a laugh. You took another swig of whiskey from the bottle Arthur stole from Pearson for you. "Beat me halfway to hell every other day. I think she had some disease. Think I might have it too, honest to god."

"D'ya really think that?" Arthur asked, taking a swig of his own whiskey bottle.

"I jus' get so low sometimes.. Not enough happy in my own head." You said sadly. "Not something I can really help, but it happens. Part of the reason I was so sick when I first got here, that and being out in the elements."

"What a woman you are, Miss. (Name)!" Arthur said with a laugh. "Survivin' yer' Mama, survivin' runnin' away into the wild, and survivn' yourself!"

Arthur and you spent a lot of time talking about your past life that night, so much time you had finished that whole bottle of whiskey. Bittersweet tears filled your eyes as you remembered what happened next.

You stood up from the ground, and wobbled your way over Arthur and poked him in the chest.

"Tell me, Mr. Morgan!" You slurred. "What have you survivedddd?"

"Oh sweetheart, we ain't got time for that tonight." He said, shaking his head at your drunken boldness.

"Pleaseeee Arthurr??" You whined, a wrong step sending you tumbling down into his lap. He wrapped his arms around you instinctively, and you smiled happily. It was a giddy childlike smile that Arthur would never forget.

Arthur had no idea what possessed him to do so, but he gulped down the last of his whiskey and started talking.

"My mama died when I was real young..." Arthur said, his voice going quiet. "My daddy was a thief, a petty one at that.. Wasn't even a real father. He wasn't good t'me at all. The lawmen got him when I was jus' eleven."

" 'M so sorry Arthur..." You said, wrapping your arms around him and hugging him tight. He rested his chin on your head and returned the hug, god it was so nice to be held like this. To be able to feel freely.

Arthur had no clue why he was so drawn to you from the very start, but ever since he first laid his eyes on you he couldn't get enough. He knew he was a goner, but he'd be lying if he said the thought didn't terrify him. Hell, sitting here like this with you terrified him! But even with the fear in the back of his mind, he could feel the whiskey clouding his thoughts and what little remained of the walls he so constantly put up crumbling.

Arthur went on about his family for a bit, and then told you all about getting taken on by Dutch and Hosea. He told you about what a deliquent he was, told you about when they brought John in. And Miss. Tilly. Then he told you all about a girl named Mary Linton, and about the love they used to share. You listened intently to every word, even in your drunken state. You prayed to whatever god above that you remembered this all tomorrow.

"I had a boy once." Arthur said, after a long stretch of silence. "His name was Issac. He passed on, though."

"Oh Arthur." You whispered, finding his hand and holding it tight. "I'm so sorry!"

"Some bastards killed him 'nd his Mama. Eliza." Arthur said, his voice breaking. "Shot 'em. All for a measly ten dollars."

"What is wrong with this world.." You murmred. Arthur just shook his head.

"I wasn't there f'him much. I shoulda been a better father to my little boy..." Arthur mumbled, his words starting to slur. "I was good to them when I was 'round, but that doesn't make up for nothin'. I'm a horrible person, (Name)."

You sat up, moving your legs around Arthur so you were straddling him. You grabbed his face in your hands, forcing him to look you in the eyes.

"Did you love his Mama? Did you treat her well?" You asked fiercely.

Arthur nodded his head frantically. The change in you startled him.

"Did you play with your boy? Did you hold him? Did you tell him stories, or sing him to sleep?" You pressed on, even with the tears forming in Arthur's eyes.

"Y-Yes!" Arthur said, stumbling over his words. "He was small, but he still liked to run. He liked being held-"

Arthur stopped, a strangled cry escaping his throat. You took your hands off of Arthur's face and wrapped both of your arms around his neck. He wrapped his arms back around you, burying his face in your hair and neck. Arthur thought that he should want to leave, but he realized he'd rather be buried alive then leave your arms right now.

"His favorite was 'Hush Little Baby'" Arthur said softly, you could feel the tears falling from his eyes now. "I was so happy to sing it to him the last time I...."

You sat up- which scared the wits out of Abigail and Mary-Beth-and covered your eyes. Trying to block out the image of what came soon after that.

The comfort you brought Arthur. The way he held your face in his hands. The kiss, so passionate. You both tasted of lust, whiskey, and pain. It was a fiery mix of emotions that sent you both stumbling into his cot and ripping off each other's clothes.

And then he wanted nothing to do with you.

"Honey? What's wrong?!" Abigail said, she wrapped her arm around you and Mary-Beth took your hands off of your face and held them.

Charles had given them a brief explanation of what had happened, but they were anxious for him to get back. They wanted to know what Arthur had to do with you being in an absolute state. They sent each other worried glances.

"When will Charles be back?" You asked with a sniffle. You leaned into Abigail and held Mary-Beth's hands tighter.

"Shouldn't be much longer, I promise honey." Abigail said.

"Want to tell us what's wrong?" Mary-Beth asked softly, she was testing the waters.

You looked between your two friends, and smiled weakly. God, you loved them so much.

"Okay."

»»———-　　———-««

"Arthur? Are you here?" Charles called out before going right into Arthur's room.

Charles found Arthur sitting on the edge of his cot. He was reading a letter.

"What is it, Charles?" Arthur said, still not looking up from the paper in his hands. Arthur didn't even seem like he was listening to Charles.

"Put that down. I need to talk to you." Charles said, his voice becoming more serious.

Arthur re-read the words written on the paper one last time before looking up at Charles.

'Arthur, please tell me whatever I did. I just want to talk to you again. Please, just talk to me whenever you read this. Your true friend, (Name)'

"You know, (Name) isn't doing good. She's been sitting in the corner of her room, curled up. Not moving, not talking. Nothing." Charles said simply.

Arthur's eyes widened, but he didn't say anything. Charles continued.

"I sat there with her for hours, and she didn't move a muscle. I watched Abigail come in and try and talk to her, but it was like she was talking to a wall." Charles said. "And that was after Molly had tried to talk to her for hours the night before. She's the one who came and got me."

"Is..is she alright?" Arthur asked, his nerves evident in his voice. He knew this was his fault. He could feel it in his bones. Oh god, he was a fucking idiot,

"No! She's not alright!" Charles snapped. "She barely even looks human! When I finally got through to her all she could do was cry! And she was crying about you!"

"No.." Arthur said softly. "Where is she now? I need to go see her-"

"You can go see her when we're done here." Charles said sternly. "Arthur, did you know she was in love with you?"

Arthur ran a hand over his face. Oh great, now he'd really done it.

'I'm such a piece of shit..' Arthur thought to himself. 'God.. Oh my god..'

"No." Arthur said. "I jus' thought... I don't know what I thought! I jus' didn't think she loved me."

"I just want to love him. He doesn't even need to love me back." Charles said with a sigh. "That's what she said to me, while she was sobbing so hard she couldn't breathe. And then 'I just want a chance! I want to know what I did wrong!'"

"I get yer' point!" Arthur shouted. "Jesus christ..."

"She's broken. Between having to be here, the whole mess in Blackwater and you completely disregarding her, she is broken." Charles said.

"I KNOW GOD DAMMIT I GET IT!" Arthur shouted, standing up from his cot. Charles stood firm, crossing his arms over his chest. He had said his part, now it was Arthur's turn to speak.

"Does.. Does she really love me?" Arthur asked weakly, taking off his hat and running his hands through his hair. Charles nodded. " I thought she was just' sweet on me a little bit, I thought I was jus' sweet on her.."

"Do you feel different now?" Charles asked. When he joined this gang, he never expected this would be the role he took on. Oh well.

Arthur stilled for a moment. He knew how he felt about you. But how could he even say it out loud, knowing how love had turned out for him in the past?

Mary had to leave him. Her father hated him because of his life as an outlaw.

His love for Eliza and his child only got them shot.

How could he condemn you, someone who has suffered and suffered, to a life with him? He wanted nothing more than to make you feel loved, protected, and cared for. He wanted to hold you like he did that night, to keep you close. To kiss away all your pain and never let you feel like you don't deserve it. Because you deserved the world, Arthur just didn't think he could give it to you.

And he was scared. He was so scared, so instead of being a decent fucking human he ran. And now look at what he did to you. Sent you right back to that dark part of your mind where you never wanted to be stuck in again.

"Yes." Arthur said finally. "But, how could I even try anythin' with her? I don't want nothin' happening to her cause of me! She deserves so much more than I can give her!"

"Arthur, I don't think you understand." Charles said with a deep sigh. "She doesn't want more! She isn't expecting anything of you! All she wants is. you."

"Why does this matter to you anyways! Who are you, t'come in here and talk t'me about this!" Arthur spat. "You have no right-"

"Yes I do!" Charles said, his voice rising. "I took care of (Name) when she first joined us, so I'll continue to take care of her now! She can't function! She needs you, Arthur! And I have a feeling you need her too."

Arthur stood there, glaring at Charles. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to scream foul things at him, for getting into his head like that. But he also wanted to thank him. For being there for you while he failed miserably.

"Figure it out. And then you go see her." Charles said coolly. "Don't go see her like this, she's not strong enough."

Charles left, Arthur's cold stare practically ushering them out the door. Arthur stood there for a few more moments, not really knowing what to do with himself. Charles had sent his mind reeling.

He knows what he wants to do. He wants to go to you, hold you, kiss you, tell you how sorry he is. Tell you that he loved you so much but he got scared, and instead of facing it like a man he ran like a boy. He never wanted to hurt you, but look how bad you were hurting now!

You loved him. And he loved you, but Arthur ran away and now would you ever be able to forgive him? He hadn't even told you he loved you! Arthur was sure he had already ruined everything. Not to mention the two of you slept together, which Arthur didn't even know if you knew it happned or not you were both so god damn drunk!

Arthur sat down and sighed. He took out the letter you left for him to find. He read it again, only this time he stopped over a certain line.

"Just talk to me."

It echoed in his mind. Arthur could practically hear your voice, begging him to talk to you. And he knew what he had to do. Arthur folded the letter up and placed it neatly in his pocket, before placing his hat back on his head. He made a beeline for the hut you were staying in with Molly.

»»———-　　———-««

You had just finished telling your sob story to Abigail and Mary-Beth when Charles returned, not even giving them a moment to react.

You didn't even look up at him when he came back, feeling so weak having to relive what happened with Arthur yet again.

"He's coming. I don't know when, he needed to collect himself. But he'll be here to see you, (Name)." Charles said softly. You nodded, reminding yourself to go and thank him properly when you were better.

"Miss Roberts, Miss Gaskill, please stay with her until Arthur gets here." Charles asked them. Of course they agreed. And then Charles left, god he needed a drink.

Abigail and Mary-Beth stay there with you, wrapped up in blankets in your cot. It was a comforting couple of minutes of silence before Arthur practically broke the door down and rushed into your room. Abigial and Mary-Beth said some hurried goodbyes to you before rushing out of the room.

You knew Arthur was there, but you couldn't look at him. You continued to lay down on your cot, wrapped up in blankets and facing the wall.

Arthur looked at you for a few moments, before taking a deep breath and starting to speak.

"(Name)" Arthur said softly. "Can I uh.. May I sit with you?"

You rolled over slowly, and forced yourself to meet Arthur's eyes. They looked just as broken as yours did when you looked in the mirror. You nodded yes weakly, and Arthur sat down on your cot next to you. He placed a hand on your shoulder, and you closed your eyes. Arthur saw the tears flowing from them.

"I'm so sorry honey." Arthur said with a shaky sigh. "I should never have pushed you away like that."

"You fucked me." You spat, opening your eyes to look at him. "You fucked me! And then you wouldn't even look me in the eyes!"

"You know!?" Arthur gasped, completely shocked. He didn't think you were sober enough to remember what happened that night.

"I OPENED UP TO YOU ARTHUR!" You yelled, finding the strength in your anger to sit up in your bed. "I GOT CLOSE TO YOU- I LET YOU IN! YOU KNOW THINGS ABOUT ME KNOW ONE ELSE DOES!"

Before you even knew what you were doing, you got up and started pounding your fists against Arthur's back. He was caught off guard, so you got a couple solid punches in before he turned around and grabbed you by the wrists.

"You FUCKED ME! AND THEN YOU THREW ME TO THE SIDE LIKE SOME WHORE! YOU MADE ME LOVE YOU! AND ALL FOR WHAT!? ALL FOR WHAT ARTHUR MORGAN!? IS THAT ALL YOU WANTED FROM ME FROM THE START!?" You cried, not knowing when the shouting stopped and your tears began.

You fought to get your wrists out of Arthur's grasp. But he wouldn't let you go. In fact he held on to you tighter, pulling you firm against his chest. He wrapped his arms around you tight and without even knowing what he was doing started peppering your head with kisses.

You punched, you sobbed, you screamed, you fought like a bat outta hell trying to get out of his grasp. But Arthur wouldn't let you go. He took every hit, every foul name and every insult.

Eventually, your thrashing stopped. Your sobs turned into small shaky breathes, and instead of punching him your arms were wrapped around his neck and you crawled into his lap. Arthur started rocking you back and fourth, and was whispering comforting things in your ear.

"I didn't know you remembered.." Arthur said softly. "Honey.. I thought I took advantage of you. I didn't think you'd wanna sleep with me if you were sober."

Arthur felt you softly shaking your head, but you didn't speak. So Arthur kept talking.

"I never woulda' acted how I did if I had known you remembered that night." Arthur whispered. "And, I can't lie to ya' honey. I was afraid. I didn't feel worthy of somthin' like what we had going on. I wasn't thinkin' right- actually I don't think I was thinkin' at all."

"Do you love me?" You asked, your voice a broken whisper. "Arthur I have loved you from the first moment I saw you. You know just as well as I do that there is some type of connection between us that we didn't even spark ourselves. Everyone saw it happen before their very eyes."

Arthur looked down at you, and you were looking up at him already. You looked like a scared little girl, and it broke Arthur's heart. How could he have done this to you?

Arthur swallowed thickly. It was now or never. He was afraid, but his fear meant nothing. Nothing mattered when it came to you. Arthur couldn't bare to lose you, especially not like this.

"Yes." Arthur breathed out, a small chuckle leaving him. "God, I love you so much. Please forgive me f'being such a goddamn moron-"

Before Arthur could continue, you grabbed Arthur by his coat collar and pulled him down into a passionate kiss. Arthur moved his hands to cup your face, using his thumbs to wipe the tears that fell from your closed eyes.

You kissed until the both of you needed to pull away for air, and then Arthur kissed you again. He never thought he'd be able to feel your soft and loving lips against his own ever again, so he made sure to savor every moment.

Once you had both caught your breath, Arthur sat there. He held your face in his hands. The love in his eyes sent a blush to your cold and tear stained face.

"I love you (Name) (Last-name)." Arthur said, placing a gentle kiss to your forehead. "S'much. More than you'll ever know. More than I'll ever be able to show ya' sweetheart."

You let out an airy laugh, and for the first time in a long time you felt like you could breathe. Your chest wasn't heavy anymore and it felt like your heart was actually beating.

"But I sure as hell will try. Like you said, there is somethin' between us that's not even we could control." Arthur said softly. The smile on his face sent butterflies to your stomach. " 'M so sorry I made you feel so horrible. I'll do everythin' I can to make this right. To make us right, honey."

"It's okay.." You whispered. "It's not entirely your fault, y'know I'm sick anyway-"

"Which is another reason why I shoulda' been smarter!" Arthur said, his voice soft still but also firm. He pulled you into another hug. "I need to keep the happy inside your head."

"You remember that?" You gasped. You were deeply touched that he had remembered something so small.

"I'd have to be dead to forget any of the talks I've had with you sweetheart." Arthur said, his tone nothing but truthful. You smiled into his chest, his words made you feel like you were floating on a cloud.

You both sat there in a comfortable silence, Arthur gently rubbing your back and rocking you back and fourth. You had your eyes closed, listening to the steady beat of his heart. Arthur noticed a shift in your breathing, and he knew you had fallen asleep.

As quietly and comfortably as he could, Arthur shifted so that you were both laying down again. Arthur wrapped you up in a blanket and let out a content sigh. This felt so right. So perfect. He was still scared, but he couldn't let it keep him from you. It was better to be afraid with you, so you could learn and grow together, instead of pushing himself away and hurting the both of you.

"I'm gonna give you the world, my sweet girl. Jus' you wait and see.." Arthur whispered. He planted a kiss on the top of your head, before drifting off himself.

»»———-　　———-««

a/n: i hope you guys enjoy this! ive literally spent all my free time on it the past few days lol i got wayyy to invested into this, but are we suprised at this point??? Xx

[dinogoofymutated]

Kissin and shit - Morph, Colossus, Gambit, Quicksilver. Heehee. here they be! I might or might not do more. It really depends bc I'm doing these as a writing exercise more than anything lol. TWS: Alcohol consumption mentioned, lots of overly enthusiastic smooching. Sexual references but no smut.

Morph

    “I love you- I love you so, so much” Morph doesn't have a minute to reply to you as you kiss them senselessly. Every once in a while when you separate to breathe, they try to speak, only for you to interrupt them with more kisses each time. Morph hums in a confused but happy sort of way. You’ve basically thrown yourself onto them, kissing them again and again until they loose their balance and the two of you topple backwards. The moment you realise you’re falling your hands slide behind their head to cushion the fall, and after a wide-eyed moment of shock both of you are laughing.

    You kiss all over their face, eyelids, cheeks, that little bump where their nose would be- and you don’t stop even as they start to fully fall victim to their laughter. God- did you love that sound! You catch their lips in a kiss again, and they hum in appreciation, panting when you finally pull away with a genuine smile on their face.

    “Not sure what I did to deserve that, but can you tell me so I can do it again?”

Colossus

    Piotr is struggling to keep up with your fiery, passionate kisses. He’s just a quiet as he always is, but you can feel his chest heaving against your own. His breath hitches as you drag your teeth across his bottom lip, before moving your kisses down his neck. You’re gentle with your kisses and nips- lavishing him with all of your love. He’s still silent, not a sound leaving his mouth, but you can feel his large hands squeeze around you just slightly. 

    “Piotr? Are you okay?” You ask when you finally pull away. He’s more red than you’ve ever seen him before, flushed from his ears and all the way down his neck. He doesn’t respond to you at first, his blown pupils looking back and fourth from your lips to your eyes a he fights the urge to pull you closer and kiss you until the next morning. 

    “Yes… Yes. More than okay.”

Gambit

    “You’re so drunk.” You giggle, hands buried in Remy’s hair before he pulls you into another drunken kiss. They’re wet, messy, and sloppy kisses, but you can’t seem to get enough of them. You can taste the alcohol on his toungue as it slides against your own, feeling the slight sting of the taste.

    “Pot callin’ the kettle black, Cher. You’re just as drunk as I am.” Remy chuckles, having pulled away for just a split second before you reel him back in again, your skin buzzing with delight from the feeling of his body against yours. His hands drift down to your thighs before he’s hiking one up against his hip.

    So what if you were both a little drunk? To be honest, even if you were sober, you knew that the two of you would still have ended up in the same place you are now- smoochin.

Quicksilver

    “We really need to get going.” You say, and yet you’re still kissing Pietro, holding onto his tie that he hadn’t even been able to put one before the two of you had gotten carried away. He snorts a laugh against your lips, picking you up and wrapping your legs around his waist in a split second, his lips hardly leaving yours the entire time.

    “To what? Father’s stupid gala? We have plenty of time.” Pietro sighs, pressing his forehead against his own, pretty, white lashes resting against his cheekbones with his eyes still closed. “I’ll just zip us over when we’re done.” He says, walking you over to your desk where he sets you down- french kissing you the entire way there. You hardly have time to pull away and breathe to respond to him.

     “Believe me, Speedy, if we don’t get going, we’re going to be here all night.”

[ghouljams]

nooo please psychoanalyze that sudsy boy, i legit dreamed about him last night, he’s so on the brain i wanna hear about him

The Catholic guilt is so real with Soap in my mind. Like he hasn't been to church or confessional in ages and it WEIGHS on him. He calls his mum and the first thing she asks is if he's been to church recently. He is also a huge slut. The man has been trained to seek external validation. He's a sinner, he has to be forgiven, God is watching him, he's guilty, guilty, guilty. He's a murderer even if it's for the greater good, and he can pretend that Price is his priest, but at the end of the day Price only believes in the ends justifying the means and Soap has to live with that.

So you can imagine how this must influence the sort of people he gravitates towards.

Just for sex I'm sure he looks for easy marks, he looks for people that will do what he tells them, people that are already dirtied by hands that aren't his own so he doesn't have to feel bad leading them to sin. He knows he should care more, that he should be saving himself or doing right by the people he sleeps with, but he can't. He just wants to feel wanted for a little while. He has this deep gnawing pit in his stomach that he isn't worthy of the love he receives because of the things he's done, that there are too many sins to be forgiven and at this point he's already damned so why bother saving himself? He'll live in sin and be punished for it because that's what he deserves.

So when he meets someone that seems uninterested in him, uninterested in the sin he embodies? That's a saint. That's someone worthy of love and it just burns to think he can't have that. He knows he can't, knows he's not worth it, but at the same time... why won't they fall for his act? Why do they look at him and see through the carefree Casanova just to grimace at the core of him? They're special to him, they're smart enough not to like him, not to want him. They're smart enough not to fall for his tricks, to actively resist falling into his temptation. It just makes him want them more.

Because he can see himself in them. He knows how it feels. Look, look! He's torn his chest open so you can see the barbs around his heart as well. He's just as undeserving of love as you think you are! You're different sides of the same coin. You see through his act the same way he sees through yours, and it hurts. It hurts to know that someone who could understand him so well doesn't want him. It hurts to see that he's worthy of love, that the same hurts he has(you have) haven't made him dislike you or think less of you. It hurts because he can see what there is to love about himself reflected back at him and he can't do anything about it because you won't let him close.

So of course he goes for the ones that are hissing and spitting at him. He gravitates towards the lonely souls, and the hardened hearts. If he can't absolve himself of his sins, maybe they can. If he can't find the faith to care about sin anymore maybe their disgust towards him will do the trick. Maybe if he can tie himself to someone he sees as good, he can be good by proxy.

He does also like the fighting back, the chase, he's given into his animal instincts too much, too often, he's not the same man he was when he joined the SAS. He isn't even sure if he considers himself a man at all. He likes someone sure of themselves, a rock, a steadfast hand. He likes knowing if he stumbles in the dark there's someone there to catch him, even if they're a little broken too.

[mochinomnoms]

Do you think PTM!Jade would have some sort of size kink?

I’m like, hella frickin short (5’1) and Jade is a fricking MONSTER to me (in terms of height and build) and god forbid I’m gonna have to crane my neck just to look at his face 😭

But what about from Jade’s point of view?

The prefect’s a literal shrimp in size, which makes him want to capture them in his arms even more. Every time he sees them scurry around, it makes him just wanna CHOMP on their neck, lock them in his room and—

Well, ykno hehe

BUT SHDJSJXJS JUST THE THOUGHT OF IT IS MAKING ME BLUSH SO BAD— JADE IS JUST SO TALL AND DEVIOUS AND HEAVEN HELP ME—

shorty squad let's go!!!

I personally think that it can either go one of two ways, and it's not limited to PTM, I personally think this can be applied to Jade and the rest of the trio in general. :

First way: massive size differences in the sea are common enough that most people end up with someone at some point who is massively smaller/bigger than them. It's relatively normal so there's no real kink to develop cause it's just a matter of fact for them.

Second way: Yes lol. It's not just the size that gets to him, it's how vulnerable you are. You are so small, weak even, you need someone to protect you! He does have a bit of a prey drive around you, to be honest...he and Floyd both do around the smaller classmates on campus. But with you, it's a bit more. It's not just the vulnerability and the prey drive, but also the knowledge that you trust him to not harm you.

After all, he's not only much bigger than you, but much stronger, much sharper, and yet ever so positively in love with you. He'd never want to harm you, maybe spook you a bit with a snap of his jaws against your ear, just to see the way your chest rises as you gasp in surprise and your pupils dilate. He wants to trace his claws and see the goosebumps on your skin. He just wants to see you cry out, maybe a bit in pain and a lot in pleasure, as he tries to fit himself in you. He wants to make sure you depend solely and whole on him and him alone, as selfish as that might be.

But he deserves to be a bit selfish, doesn't he? He's always ready to serve everyone else, to be made into a wallflower, and to be seen as the ever dutiful right-hand man. But you're his, his to hold to know to clutch to his body to the point that he might mold your bodies into one to make the idea of being alone but a foreign concept. He knows how to handle something fragile. He knows how to make you feel loved and revered, and only he knows the limits to your mind and body. He's not known for being a gentle man. Polite, yes, benevolent, debatable, cunning, absolutely. But gentle? That's rare, even when comparing Jade to his brother.

He can't trust someone else to be gentle with you in the way you need, or to be just rough enough to make you scream. So, back to your question, yes, he does. He loves the size difference, because he gets to live with the fantasy of simultaneously indulging in his more sadistic and protective sides. Jade gets the privilege of you, inside and out, and he gives himself to you for the same purpose. Only you, romantic as it is exhilarating, no?

[forever-once-gone]

Day 5: When they want a romantic night, and instead you’re obsessing over a fictional character; jealousy jealousy <3

Part of the Love, Amour, Aur Pyaar drabble series for February! (lol)

Word count: 0.8k, 0.7k, 0.9k, 0.7k, 0.8k, 0.6k, 0.9k (respectively, for a total of ~5.8k) again, wayyyyy too long :(

Content and Warnings: soft yandere (though can be read as not yandere, for most of them), love, jealousy, SPOILERS FOR JJK AND SNK (though I think everyone knows about the current state of jujutsu kaisen and shingeki no kyojin finished ages ago now), insecurity, threats from Y/n, Hoseok's section gets spicy, mature 18+ content, baby talk in Hoseok's, grinding, gn reader for most of them except Hoseok's where reader is very vaguely implied to be afab, kissing, throwing pillows, implied cosplay sex (?) for Namjoon, lingerie in Namjoon's, isolation from loved ones, UNEDITED (I thought this day would be pretty tame, but with with this big paragraph, maybe it isn't?)

Author's note: Beep beep boop. Beep boop beep. Beep boop. Boop beep beep. Boop. Boop beep boop. Boop beep boop beep beep. Boop beep boop. Boop boop. ...Enjoy!

Seokjin (ft. Levi Ackerman from snk):

“It isn’t fair, you know, the fact that he had to go through so much. He was humanity’s strongest but really he was just an abused boy who did the best he could. He deserved so much better. I mean, at least he didn’t die. God knows that Hajime Isayama loves to kill all his characters.”

Seokjin just gritted his teeth, keeping his eyes locked with the wall.

“But like, still, considering everything, if one person deserved a true happy ending it was him.” You waved around your hand like a professor emphasizing the point they were trying to make as the other flipped through the pages of the manga you’d been talking about for the past fifteen minutes.

“Like, at least most of the other characters from Paradis had somewhat normal childhoods. They had some sort of happy memories, but Levi never got to have that joy. Everything in his life, when he would begin to cherish them, would get snatched from him! Petra, Gunther, Eld, Oluo, Furlan, Isabel, Erwin—all taken from him!” You pouted as you gazed down at Levi’s bandaged face, your frown only deepening at the sight of his missing fingers.

In a hushed voice, you said, “if I were Isayama, I’d have given him the best ending possible.” Then you let out a sigh before moving on from the sad page of Levi’s injuries. “But then again, Isayama barely gives anyone a happy ending, so the fact that Levi even survives is a miracle,” you mumbled near the end.

Jin just hummed, refusing to give you any proper response. 

Just how many times do you need to discuss Levi when he’s right there in front of you? Quite rude of you to be talking about some other man in his thirties when your boyfriend has been sitting beside you for the past twenty five minutes. This should be considered cheating right? Emotional cheating, as you gush over some other guy instead of your handsome boyfriend? Seokjin sure thought so.

“You know the manga has been done for years, right?” Seokjin couldn’t bother hiding his snippy tone crossing his arms across his chest. “Maybe it’s time you get over it, and focus on more important things.”

Your brows furrowed together, looking up at him for the first time since you brought down the small stack of manga volumes from your bookshelf. You were greeted with the sight of you boyfriend sitting at the absolute far end of the couch from you, arms crossed, back straight, as he glared a hole into the wall beside the tv. He refused to look at you, even though you were sure he could feel your gaze with how he momentarily shifted in his seat.

“What’s this ‘more important thing’ I should be focusing on instead of Levi?” you asked, as you shut the book and placed it with the others on the coffee table in front of you.

Seokjin just shrugged his shoulders. “Idk, maybe your handsome boyfriend who finally had some free time today? You know, maybe him?”

His lips were downturned again, as you moved to sit right beside him.

You tried to fight back your smile by pressing a finger to your chin as if you were thinking. “But Levi doesn’t have free time today?”

Jin turned towards you so quickly, you were afraid he’d pull a muscle.

You giggled at the affronted look he gave you, mouth hanging open in disbelief.

“I’m just kidding!” you defended yourself, trying to pull his arms from his chest but failing miserably. “I’m sorry, okay? My gorgeous boyfriend is you, and I shouldn't be talking about some fictional character when he’s gotten dressed up so well for me. Isn’t that right?” 

You managed to pull his arms away from his chest to give you a view of the nice clothes he had put on specifically for you. He wore your favourite clothes today, hoping you’d fawn over him, only for you to spend the better part of the past while talking about some drawing from a book. He thought you hadn’t noticed the effort he had put into today, but hearing evidence if your absolute attention had red creeping up his neck and onto his ears.

You threw yourself into his chest, causing his arms to wrap around you to steady the two of you. You nuzzled into him for a few seconds before looking up at him with a small grin.

“I love you, you know? More than anything and anyone. And I care more about our happy ending than anyone else’s, even if it is humanity’s strongest’s.” You strained up to press a kiss against his neck which left a chill against Jin’s skin, before settling down in his lap. Pleasure coursing through you at the sight of Jin’s pleased smile from below.

His arms tightened around you before he bent down to press against your forehead. “As long as you know who matters most,” he mumbled against your skin.

Yoongi (ft. Blade from hsr):

You finished up the simulated universe world. Even though you hadn’t gotten great relics this time around, you still got to collect the weekly rewards, so you couldn’t be too mad. But you had to admit, it did sting a bit.

You switched back to the character screen after salvaging the useless relics that you obtained and checking on your stock of stellar jades. Blade stared back at you as you fussed with the relics that you had currently adorned him with and tried to level up the one promising relic you had obtained. When you ended up with defense being levelled up for the second time, you gave up on the relic, instead just salvaging it as well.

You sighed as you clicked back to Blade, seeing him stare back at you before performing his idle, bringing his sword up to his eyes, inspecting it before bringing it behind to his back as it disappeared into shiny gold.

“Bladie, Bladie, Bladie… Why is it so hard to find good relics for you…?” You rested your chin in the palm of your hm gazing lazily at your monitor.

Blade, of course, did not reply. Instead he stared right through your soul as if putting the blame right on you.

“Hmm… I was so lucky when building Kafka, but the relics just suck when I’m farming for you.” 

You clicked out of the character screen and instead ran around the map with Blade, listening to NPC dialogue and fulfilling random small tasks for stellar jade. You were out of trailblaze power and had nothing of significance to do. So you just enjoyed watching Blade’s mechanics as he interacted (being pretty liberal with the definition of “interact”) with other characters and took in his visuals.

He was your favourite character when you first started playing honkai star rail, but with time you realized you should probably try and make him stronger with more elite relics. It was harder than you originally thought. And now, even after a month of only farming for Blade, you had yet to pull what would be a legendary relic for him.

As you lamented your poor luck, you failed to notice the door to your gaming room opening behind you.

Yoongi creeped up behind you, listening to the music streaming its way out of the speakers he got for your set-up on your last birthday. He wasn’t surprised to see a zoomed in view of Blade’s face on your screen when he peered over your shoulder. He had expected it as soon as he’d heard the hsr soundtrack.

He stopped behind your chair, starling you as he began to speak. “Here I was hoping to see my wonderful spouse after work today, but instead I see them on a date with some depressed guy in my own home.” He sighed for effect, placing his hands on the back of your chair as he leaned over you to look at your screen.

“Oh hush,” you told Yoongi.

“What? So I can’t even speak up when I catch you with your second boyfriend now?” He placed his chin atop your head.

You laughed a bit, jostling Yoongi around a bit. “Don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt a date?” You finally played along.

“Not if it's between you and Blade, no it’s not. He doesn’t get to steal you away from me.” He wrapped his arms around your neck, holding you close against him almost as though he was pulling you away from Blade’s reach.

You held onto his arms as you laughed, feeling him press a kiss to the top of your head. Between laughs, you said, “Stop! You’re embarrassing me in front of my date.”

“Fuck your date.” He removed his arms from around you, spinning your chair around so you faced him. “You’re going on a date with me now.” 

He pulled you up and out of your chair into his arms. He pulled you right into him until not even one air molecule was in between your bodies. 

“Get dressed, I’m taking you out for dinner.” He reached a hand behind your intertwined bodies and turned off your pc with a pointed click.

He was willing to entertain your interest in other men so long as they were like Blade: fictional. The day he feels your interest swerving to real men, he wouldn’t take it so lightly.

Hoseok (ft. Choso from jjk):

“Look at him being all emo but so sweet!” you cooed at the man on the screen.

Choso was speaking to Yuuji about being brothers and just being all adorable, and it was getting on Hoseok’s nerves.

“Like when you look at him, you’d think he’s gonna be all grouchy or mean, but look at him—fuck, I’d ruin him.”

Hoseok’s eye was twitching.

“Like he’s so pure? But so hot? But so loveable? But so destroyable? I’d definitely ruin him.”

Hoseok’s blood pressure was rising.

“He’d be such a good father to my kids.”

Hoseok’s patience broke. “Well too bad Choso’s not real then since you wanna date him over me so badly!”

You jumped at Hoseok’s loud proclamation. You weren’t prepared for the enraged look on your sweet boyfriend’s face. Had you gone too far?

“I wasn’t being serious, baby,” you started, speaking as softly and level as possible. “He’s just a character that I find cute.”

Hoseok scoffed, his lips pulled into a frightening, annoyed half-smirk. “Yeah, a character that you want to have sex with.”

You placed a hand on his thigh, trying to calm him down. “Babe, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said that.”

“Pfft, so now you feel bad? Not when you were talking about how another guy was so hot and how you want to have kids with him? And how cute you find him? Do I mean nothing to you?”

Hoseok’s leg was shaking now, falling and dropping under your palm restlessly. You tried to smooth your hands over his leg to soothe him, but it only seemed to agitate him further.

He scoffed again, not even giving you a chance to defend yourself against his accusations. “You’ve never called me ‘destroyable.’ What, do I not get that right? Do I need to put red eyeshadow around my eyes and paint a black stripe over my nose for you to think me worthy of being the father to your kids?”

You winced. You didn’t think something as harmless as a fictional crush would upset your darling boyfriend so bad, but now you could see how you’d been out of line. I mean, maybe you wouldn’t like it if Hoseok had spoken about some other person, fictional or not, like that in front of you.

You crawled over to him on the couch, straddling his thighs despite how they shook even with your weight pressing down on them. He hadn’t stopped his periodic scoffs, his eyes locked on a point to the side as he seemed to be caught within his internal dialogue. He seemed to only be making himself  madder with each second.

“Baby,” you called him, placing your hands on his shoulders. “I’m sorry. I was out of line.”

Hoseok just shook his head, still not meeting your eyes.

“I was being stupid,” you continued. “Choso is pretty—” 

He scoffed once again, causing you to wince. Wrong way to go about the apology, yet again. Goodness, why did you suck at apologizing?

“—But! I love you, not him. If anyone is cute, it’s you. If anyone is hot, it’s you. If there is anyone who I find loveable, it’s you. If there’s anyone that I want to destroy, it’s you. So don’t be mad, baby, he’s nobody.” 

You did feel a little weird about how you had to make it clear that Choso wasn’t stealing you from your boyfriend, but you hated to see Hoseok so upset. 

And it seemed like Hoseok appreciated the reassurance, because he was finally looking at you.

He watched you for a second, as you continued to massage his shoulders while sat in his lap. Hoseok could see Choso over your shoulder on the tv, and it gave him some sort of kick to know that despite him being on screen, you had your back turned to Choso. Your full attention on him, only him. 

The worry on your face made contentment bubble in his chest, this is exactly how he liked you: fawning over him.

“Yeah, baby?” He asked, pulling you into him by the hips until he had his face pressed into your neck, placing small kisses on your pulse. “You like me more than him?”

You felt heat rise to your cheek as his hands slipped under your shirt, rubbing one hand on the small of your back as the other gripped at your waist, guiding you to grind against him. 

“Yeah…” you managed to get out between soft gasps as he began to move you harder and faster against his hard-on.

He bit into your neck, rubbing his tongue over the teeth marks he left behind possessively. “You don’t sound all that convincing, baby.”

“I, um, I—” you gulped, overwhelmed by how quickly the situation had changed. You could feel him getting harder and harder under you. “I mean it, I only see you that way.”

Hoseok pulled away from the marks he’d sucked and bit into you. Looking up at you with a hooded gaze. “How you gonna prove it to me?”

You didn’t know what to say. Isn’t it proof enough with the way you were panting on his lap with his bulge pressing into you?

“Would you do anything to prove it to me?”

You nodded frantically at the olive branch he had extended towards you. He was giving you an out, and you would be a fool to miss it.

“Yeah, baby? You’d do anything?”

“Yes,” you purred, head falling onto his shoulder as he pulled your shirt off of you. “—do anything for you,” you said between gasps.

“Good,” he said, pressing his lips to yours, reaching down to unbuckled his belt. “Then make me a dad.”

Namjoon (ft. Nanami from jjk):

Nanami Kento was the living embodiment of a gentleman. The guy you’d bring home to your parents. The guy you’d imagine living the rest of your life with. The guy to buy you a house in the suburbs with a white picket fence. The guy who’d listen to your rants about work drama, or friend drama, or family drama, any drama really.

He was perfect.

And he reminded you entirely of your boyfriend, Namjoon. The man you could always rely on, the only one who you’d brought home to your parents, the man who forwarded you real estate listings every weekend as he’d sweet talk you with the plans he had for your future together.

He was perfect.

And you needed to see Namjoon in a Nanami cosplay.

“Please, baby, pleaseeeee.” You gave him the best puppy dog eyes that you possibly could. “Please, please, please, please! I’ll do anything for you if you do this for me!” You had your hands pressed together as you begged in front of him.

He had just gotten out of the shower after a hard day of dance practice, and with just a towel covering his bottom half, he was bombarded with you and the outfit spread out on the bed.

“Please, please, please! If you do this for me, I’ll even put that lingerie set that you got me as a gag gift, just please, try it on.” You grabbed his hand, pulling him from the ensuite door, closer to the bed. He had to hold onto his towel with the other hand to prevent it from falling from how hard you were pulling him. You’d, in the time it took him to shower, spread out an off-white suit, a blue dress shirt, a set of brown suspenders, and a yellow tie with brown animal-esque spots out for him.

“Love, I do not want to get into a suit right now. I just showered.” His hair was dripping onto the clothes as he looked down at them.

“Baby! Please! It won’t be for long, I swear! I’ll get you out of it as quickly as I get you into it, promise!”

Namjoon raised an eyebrow at your words, a smug smile shining down at you. “Oh~ I see how it is. Me in this outfit, you in that skimpy lingerie—you seem to have a very precise idea in mind of how you want this to go, hmm?”

You couldn’t help the embarrassment from washing over you. You punched his shoulder lightly with a whine, before wrapping your arms around his muscular bicep, pulling yourself into his side. You pressed your cheek against his cool, damp skin as a way to hide your shame. You could feel him chuckling at just how quickly he’d seen through you.

“I wasn’t thinking of only that… I also wanted to take some pics of you in the cosplay ‘cause I thought you’d look cool in it…”

“Fucking liar,” he laughed more heartedly at your piss poor attempt of saving yourself from further humiliation.

“I swear!” you defended yourself, looking up to see his dimples smiling down at you, eyes filled with love. Your heart stopped for a second looking at the handsome man. Did you need to see him in a Nanami cosplay to have some fun? Cause right now, looking at his sparkling eyes and wide smile, you didn’t think you’d be able to give him the chance to put on the outfit before you jumped at him.

He raised a questioning eyebrow at your sudden stillness. “Not gonna beg me to indulge in your fantasies anymore?”

You shook your head before pressing your cheek back into his bicep, only for him to pull him into his chest instead. He was looking down at you with that look again. The look that reminded you of how this was the only mad you’d ever consider marrying.

“I think,” he said, swinging you around his arms a bit teasingly as he continued to look down at you with his wet hair, and glossy skin, “that I could put on this outfit despite how tired I am if you stay true to your promise of that lingerie. Think you can do it?”

You thanked God everyday for blessing you with a man who indulged you as much as Namjoon did.

“A-huh,” you replied, breathless.

“Okay, then get to it.” He gave his head a shake, causing the water from his hair to rain down onto you, making you giggle, the tension easing. “You get as long as it takes me to put on this cosplay to figure out that set of straps that they called lingerie before I come to get you myself, okay?”

Jimin (ft. Alhaitham from genshin):

“Turn it off.”

“No.”

“Turn it off.”

“No.”

“Turn it off, please?”

“No, thanks.”

“Oh, come on!” He threw his arms up before throwing himself face first onto the bed. He whined into the duvet convulsing around before rolling onto his back when you didn’t come over to him to soothe him.

“You hate me,” he said, looking at the ceiling.

“Nope.”

“You do, I know you do.”

“Nope, I do not.”

“You do, otherwise you wouldn’t be playing that stupid, partner-stealing man’s story quest.”

“Nope, it just means I like the character.”

“It means you hate me.” He shuffled up to sit beside you at the headrest of the bed. Letting his head fall onto your shoulder as he watched Alhaitham’s inexpressive face on the phone screen. Stupid, stupid man.

“Just admit it, you hate me. We might as well break up since you like this guy more than me.”

“Literally when did I say that?” you sighed, trying your best to pay attention to the plot of the quest as Jimin continued interrupting you.

“Just now.”

“When?”

“When you just said it.”

“I actually didn’t say anything, Jimin.”

“You said it in your mind and I could tell.”

“Jimin.” You turned to look at him. He was still glaring at Alhaitham. “You’re always doing too much.”

“Just admit you want to break up.” He weaseled his way from your shoulder into your lap, his head right under where you held your phone, looking up at you with fake teary eyes.

“Baby, it’s a video game.”

“It’s a declaration that you hate me and that you want to break up.”

“Jimin, if you keep saying that, I might actually think this is your way of breaking up with me.” You went back to tapping at your phone and trying your best to recount what you were meant to do next.

“I would never!” Jimin defended, burying his face into your stomach.

You relented to his whining, bringing one hand down to run through the hair on the back of his head. 

He was picking at the side stitches of your shirt absentmindedly though he was still buried face first into your stomach.

You felt him mumble something into your stomach. “Hmm?”

He looked up at you, repeating what he’d said, “I’m gonna delete your account if you don’t pay attention to me now.”

“Jimin!” You turned off your phone, trying to push him away from you only for him to hold onto you tighter, resuming his position against your stomach. “I’ve spent years on that, you can’t just delete it!”

He’d followed through on these sorts of threats before, so you knew he was not just joking when he said this. “I don’t care, I’ll delete it if it gets between you and me.”

He’d deleted contacts of friends, peers, and coworkers from your phone before, but you never thought his jealousy would extend to video game personas.

“Jimin,” you stressed. “He’s just a bunch of pixels on a screen.”

“And those unfeeling pixels are stealing your attention from me.” He looked up at you with a pout that would be cute if he wasn’t being completely disagreeable once again.

“I literally spent the whole week with you, didn’t open genshin once, why can’t I just play for a few hours now? Besides, aren’t you supposed to be at work right now anyway?”

“Can’t go when my spouse is threatening to leave me.” He was kicking his feet now, clearly content with how his threats had worked. Your phone was off now and you were looking at him, speaking with him.

“Goodness, Jimin. I really don’t know what to do with you.”

“You could kiss me for a start.”

“Not after how much you’ve annoyed me today.”

“So you are breaking up with me? For a stupid fictional scholar? A scribe?”

“You know an awful lot about the man you despise so much, why is that?”

“He’s trying to steal you away from me. Successfully stealing you away from me. God forbid I did some research on the man.”

“Just for that attitude, I’m not gonna give you any kisses.”

“Okay,” he straightened out in front of you, sitting between your legs. “Then I’ll give you kisses.”

He pressed a kiss to your cheek with a goofy smile. Then your forehead. Then your other cheek. Then your nose. With each kiss, another bit of your anger subsided.

“Now you kiss me.” He puffed out his cheek, bringing it in front of your face.

“You’re lucky you’re cute.” You grabbed his cheeks, and turned him to face you before giving him the proper kiss he’d been craving all afternoon.

He instantly melted into you, attempting to deepen the kiss, only for you to pull away from him.

“You only get more if you promise not to delete my account.”

He huffed. “Fineeee. I promise… for now.”

You smiled, shaking your head. “I guess that’s good enough… for now.”

Taehyung (ft. Howl Pendragon from Howl’s Moving Castle):

“Do you prefer blond Howl or black-haired Howl?” You were lying down on the couch with Taehyung lying on top of you, his head resting on your chest as Howl’s Moving Castle playing. You had stopped rubbing his back when you asked him the question, though your eyes remained on Howl turning into green slime over his dyed orange hair.

Taehyung just grunted, half asleep. His arm reached behind him, forcing your arm to move up and down his back again before letting go when you’d resumed your previous ministrations.

“What do you think?” you asked him again.

He was practically asleep, maybe it wasn’t the best time to be asking him about the movie.

Just when you thought he had fallen asleep he replied, “Orange-haired.”

You laughed. “Be serious for a second.”

“I am.” His arms tightened around your back, pressing harder into you.

“Come on, you’re not being serious. Blond or black?”

With his voice heavy with sleep he said, “Black.”

You hummed at his answer. “Yeah, black hair is nice on him. But I liked him blond better.”

“Why?”

“Why not?”

“His actual hair colour is black. It suits him better. It’s his true self.”

You pondered. “I guess so, but I just am a sucker for his blond look. Makes him feel… I don’t know. I don’t really have an explanation, I just like it.”

Taehyung was quiet again, you turned to check if he was asleep now but instead he was looking up at you with a scowl. “Is this your way of telling me you want me to go blond again?”

You brought a hand up to cover your smile, knowing it’d only cause him to be more adamant. “No, Tae. I was just talking. People always seem to discuss which Howl version they like more. Just wanted to know what you thought.”

“Well, I think I should go blond.”

“Literally why?”

“Cause you’re thinking of some other blond man. Want you to only think of me when you think of blond.”

There he goes again. “God, Tae. Forget I said anything.”

“No no, go on about how you hate my black hair and want to see me fry my hair to be blond again.” He was now propped up over you, using his hands to keep him hovering over you. All his sleep whisked away due to the arising fight.

“I wasn’t trying to imply anything, Tae. I love you how you are, I love your black hair.”

“Doesn’t seem like it.”

You were getting angry. Over the past few weeks he was getting more and more accusatory. Accusing you of not loving him. Of wanting to change him. Of having ‘wandering eyes.”

You were tired.

You didn’t even want to defend yourself at this point.

“Come on, say it.”

You closed your eyes, biting at your cheek as you tried to control your frustration. The last thing you want to do is give into his taunts and turn this into a full-on verbal fight. 

You opened your eyes, bringing your hands to the nape of his neck, trying to pull him back into your chest. “Baby, let’s just watch the movie.”

Tae allowed you to play with his hair as he considered whether to drop the topic. With the way you were caressing him, he really wanted to, but the nagging voice in the back of his head urged him to continue.

You watched him analyze your face for a minute or two. And you did the same for him, counting the beauty marks scattered across his beautiful face. His black hair falling into his eyes as he held himself above you. It was hard to believe that this angelic man was the one who would make day-to-day life so difficult at times.

“Can we?” you asked. You brushed his hair back from his eyes, holding his bangs back for a second before letting them fall back to their place.

His eyes flitted between yours, debating. Then he gave in, falling into your arms once again. “Fine. But I choose the next movie, and I’m gonna make sure there are no pretty blonds in it.”

Jungkook (ft. Gojo Satoru from jjk):

“Nah, I’d win!” Jungkook yelled, running away from you, ducking from the pillows you’d throw after him.

“Stop it!” You picked up the fallen pillow before resuming your chase.

“Nah, I’d win! And then—” he traced a line across his neck with a wide smile, before throwing his head to the side, tongue sticking out.

“JUNGKOOK! Stop it!” You threw the pillow at him again, but Jungkook easily dodged it, running into the kitchen.

He giggled loudly as you chased him around the kitchen island, stopping when you stopped to catch your breath but then giving you another taunt to make you chase after him again.

“What happened to your big strong boyfriend, huh? Couldn’t keep up with Sukuna now could he?” He asked with a wide toothy smile.

“Jungkook!” You called the name through your snarling teeth.

“What did you say again?” He put on the most atrocious imitation of your voice humanly possible and said, “He’s Gojo Satoru! He’s the strongest sorcerer alive! He’ll beat Sukuna easy!”

“Jungkook, I’m gonna kill you!” 

“Oh, like Sukuna killed your little sassy boyfriend?”

You threw the pillow at him again, only for it to hit the Gojo figurine you had placed on your side table. You both watched it tumble onto the ground.

It was still in one piece, but seeing it on the ground made your anger flare up even further. 

“Jungkook,” you sneered, turning to look at his frightened face.

He had his hands up in defeat. “I didn’t hit it, you did.”

“Jungkook,” you bit out the word, stalking towards him.

“Hey, baby, it’s fine! Look, it’s fine.” He picked up the figurine, and to be fair, it was fine. But your anger didn’t care about that now. Your anime/manga boyfriend was dead, and your actual boyfriend was being a dick about how upset you were over it.

You had picked up the pillow again, walking towards him slowly, and as you pulled your arm back to hurl it at him again with a scream, he sped off for your bedroom.

“Y/n! I’m sorry!” He didn’t seem all that sorry considering he was back to giggling again like a child as you ran after him. He jumped around couches and tables before slamming the door closed before you could follow him into the bedroom.

“Open the door!” You slapped your hand at the door a couple of times, jiggled the doorknob only to find it locked. “Jungkook, let me in!”

“Nope!” He popped the p sound, giggling behind the door. “You gonna kill your real boyfriend just cause the inferior, fictional one died?”

He was honestly very happy that Gojo had died. He was tired of not being the only golden man in your eyes anymore. Jungkook was the one who was good at everything that he did, not that dumbass anime man. And he had proved it, didn’t he. Inadvertently. After all, Gojo was dead, so he wasn’t perfect now. 

Jungkook was full of glee.

“Jungkook, if you don’t come out right now, I’m gonna rip your collectible posters.”

He just giggled again. He could imagine your angry frown perfectly. How you probably wanted to destroy all his anime memorabilia as revenge for how he made fun of Gojo’s death. But he knew you were all bark and no bite.

“No, I’m not opening it.”

“Open it.”

“Hmmm,” he pretended to think out loud. Then: “nope!”

“Jungkook, you’re gonna have to come out eventually, and when you do, I’m gonna be waiting right here for you.”

Jungkook laughed, but when three hours had passed and you remained in front of the door, periodically knocking and asking to be let in, he didn’t find it as funny anymore. Well, it was still a little funny, but also it was a bit scary how your anger wasn’t subsiding.

Jungkook listened to the doorknob rattle from the bed, but didn’t bother opening his eyes. It was locked, you couldn’t get in.

So then could someone explain why the door was swinging open and you were suddenly set on top of his supine position. Your eyes red with both anger and sadness, your scowl set deep.

“Hey, Y/n,” he said sweetly.

“Hi, Jungkook. Wanna repeat what you said earlier?” Your hands were pressed against his pecs, face leaning in closer to him with each second.

“I don’t think I should,” he said with an eased smile. His arms were crossed behind his head, as if he didn’t have his angry spouse sitting on top of him at the moment.

“Not gonna gloat that Gojo’s dead?”

He laughed, jostling you around with each breath. “Don’t need to. You already know,” he said with a smirk.

You took your pillow from beside his head and smacked him upside the head with it. The soft downy fluff only made Jungkook erupt into giggles once again, his hands coming up to try (and failing) to prevent subsequent hits. He only laughed louder and louder, until he had wrapped his hands around your torso and tugged you into him.

You continued to struggle against him. “Let me go!”

“Nope!” He pressed kisses all over your face between giggles. Laughing at your half-hearted slaps at his triceps and forearms. “Can’t let you go when I’m so happy to have my partner all to myself again. Fuck that Gojo guy.”

You stopped struggling, exhausted from chasing him around and making a lockpick to get into the bedroom. “You’re so mean,” you whined. “Remember you used to like him too. You said he reminded you of yourself.”

He pressed a kiss to your head. “Not since he made me second place with my own spouse.” He turned you to look at him, giving you a smile before kissing you sweetly.

You returned the kiss before breaking it. You pressed your temple against his pecs, snuggling up into his arms. “So fucking extra.”

As you can probably tell, I'm still salty about some things lol.

[agirlwholovesrockstars]

baby come back

♡ STEVE HARRINGTON'S MASTERLIST ♡

❁ AGATHA'S MAIN PAGE ❁

This is a sequel to "Careless Whisper"

✧ Summary : they say "you should leave all the past behind" but what if they deserve a second chance?

✧ Word Count : it might be long but I hope it's worth it

✧ Warnings : 18+ MDNI‼️ Past!Ex-Boyfriend!King Steve! Harrington x FEM!reader, eventual smut, cursing, mentions of bad household, complicated father & son relationship, slight emotion invalidation & misogyny, cheating, separated parents, alcohol consumption, mentions of smoking, child neglect, trauma, intense confrontations, fluff, angst, not giving away anything! don't wanna give you guys ideas 🤭

✧ What to Expect : ANGST, FLUFF AND SMUT‼️reader will be so unsure of him but she'll get there ;)) I promise this will so fast paced, the story goes back to present and past!

✧ Note To Reader : YOOOO y'all making me inspire to write more for Steve! THANK YOU FOR ALL THE LOVE AND SUPPORT omg- even it's just small numbers of recognition is enough for me 🥺🫶🏻✨

✧ Author Note : I literally tried to think of a better song to associate the next part and my god- my brain was like zapping up to Baby Come back and I was like "THAT'S IT!" 🤩🙌🏻

"Henderson, I already told you not to wipe your feet on the inside of my car"

"Must've slipped off my mind"

"I've been your chaperone- wait a second- I'm your goddamn babysitter for the past 3 years!"

"Just step on it, already!"

"Remind me why I'm being friends with you" Steve turns on the engine of his car and held onto the steering wheel

"It's because I'm a great person"

Steve chuckles as he shakes his head but a fond smile is evident on his lips

"What time should I pick you up?"

"The usual"

Dustin talks about his night yesterday after school with the whole segment of the D&D Campaign, while listening as he kept his eyes on the road, I think he could make a word count on how many times he mentioned Eddie

Steve watches his young friend steps outside of his car, "Okay, see ya"

He's heading on his way to Family Video, where she meets Robin sitting on the front stairs

"What are you doing?" He asks as he gets outside of his car and puts his keys inside of of his pocket

"I guess, we're both too early, too early that Kevin hasn't even arrived yet" Robin stood up as she walks closer to Steve

Steve looked behind him, there's a new diner in town that he hasn't been it yet

"Wanna go there and eat some breakfast?" He nudge his head on the facility that he's looking at

Robin follows his gaze and clasps both of her hands together "Let's go, I'm getting bored here for waiting"

Once they get inside, the smell of brewed black coffee invades both of their noses and the sweet scent of pancakes and waffles

Robin already got an eye on the waitress who is serving some delicious fully packed breakfast plate, she swore that she is drooling over it and it made Steve chuckle

Steve is always been a pancake and bacon kind of a guy, he likes the combination of sweet and salty, so, that's where he is aiming for

Both of them saw a table that is near to window, they sat together across from each other

The male waiter was about to gave them menu's but they dismissed it

He nods gladly as he calls someone else to fill up their order

"Hello, goodmorning, what's your order-"

"Hi, can I get-"

Oh my fucking god

Holy fuck

It's you

His mind is going ablazes because he pretty much knew himself that he has a 20/20 vision

But at this time? All of his insides are overheated

He hasn't seen you since....the prom

Fuck, the memories starts to take him back

You just finished your last school year on that history that you both happened before and you move out of the school

Not only moved out of school, but you also left the town, Hawkins Indiana

Yes, you left.... without sparing him a single word about your departure

The town that you've never wouldn't have thought you could ever get back to

But, this is your hometown where you truly grew up in

You only decided to comeback since

You got homesick

You missed your family, that's why you take the chance to finally be with them

Temporarily

You clear your throat, you try to mask up your expression as you completely forgotten his companion that you briefly glanced and you noticed her confused look at you

She darts back and forth on you and Steve

You remained civilized, "What can I get for you?"

You say softly as you clicked your pen and holding up your notepad

He blinks as he takes a deep breath, "Uh- Pancake and Bacon and Coffee"

Damn, you wished there's a machine to mind sweep your entire memory of him

You still remember it

He still eats the same way

"Okay, um, should I bring creamer and sugar?"

"Yes, please"

Shit, he still makes his coffee the same way too

Fuck, fuck, fuck

Who in the right mind that you chose to have your vacation here?

When you could do it somewhere else

You trust yourself too much that you thought you won't be able to see this familiar face again

You nod but you can feel his eyes on you

You look incredible

Of course, he'll take every chance to look at you

You cut your hair shorter, you even changed it into different shade of color, your natural dark brown is gone, it turned into more lighter brown

The wavy length and the bangs looks so perfect on you is shaping your face that he still does love until now

You dress so differently now too, he could tell by your silver rings and....

A piercing? You have three earlobes now

He adores how you wear your makeup, not too flashy but it enhances your features

He is delighted to see your face again, he never thought that the universe will give him another glimpse of you even is just like this

A part of him that made him sad for a sec, it's understandable that you changed your whole appearance

You changed because you want to forget who you were before

You have to remove every single thing about how you look that reminded of him

Maybe in another life....

You're happy together

You motion to Robin who is still absolutely puzzled from the not so obvious look of recognition form the both of you

She could already tell that is something is deep between the two of you

Before she tells her order, he catches Steve who is not even afraid to gape on you, he's not even trying to hide it until she spoke up and he heard her voice

He got shy all of the sudden and runs his fingers through his hair

"The Breakfast meal?"

"Yeah, right that one"

"A drink along with that?"

"Oh, a cup of coffee too as well"

You nod as you clicked back your pen as you tear off the paper from your notepad

"It'll be ready in a minute" you say, you offer the both of them with a small smile as you finally take your leave

Robin leans forward with her hands together, "Okay, what was that?"

"What?" He acts clueless, he knows Robin won't drop the scenario that just happened

Robin chuckles in amusement "Well, you tell me" she nudges her head to you

He glances at you with those eyes, you can still freaking feel them on you

You start cleaning the table and picked up the tip from a another customer

"Robs-"

"Don't you dare "Robs" me and don't you ever lie to me" she throws her hands up as she raises both of her eyebrows at him

He sighs as he scratches the back of his neck

"Do I really need to tell you?" He shuts his eyes for a second as he takes a deep breath

"Uh yeah? Because that look it isn't something that is far beyond that you just know the person"

"You knew her"

She leans backward as she crosses both of her arms

She can't even tell if she just struck off a nerve or offended him

"I'm just messing with you, dingus, it's okay-"

"No-No, it's just-" he exhales

"it's been a while since I saw her" he speaks in a voice that his bestfriend couldn't ever expected to hear

It sounds so broken, it increases her pique of interest even more

What happened?

"I hesitated because-" he looks at her with guilty eyes "I think you're not going to look at me in the same way ever again"

Robin listens intently as she gestures her to keep going

"I am here to reassure you that I'm not going to judge you"

"I did something bad in the past, Robin, but I've changed"

"We all have done something wrong in our lives, Steve, the right way to do is to face it, hold yourself accountable for it, and learn from it, but that doesn't make you a bad person"

He looked at you again, you are now serving someone else a vanilla milkshake

"Yeah, you're probably right, but to her? I am"

Flashback to 1986

He spent all of his allowance that his father gave to him

All of his money going out all night in the town

The prom was one month ago

One month ago

He trying to do anything to get you out of his mind

He drank a lot of alcohol and gets drunk most of the time

But when the morning comes, it felt like he needs to start it all over again

He realizes that trying to forget you, it's just a waste of time

He wants you to come back, he needs you to come back

He'll do anything for it

Anything at all

He knows it won't be easy

He angrily crumpled and tear off all of the pictures that he had with his friends

Friends that aren't not even real

He knows that you're right about him, it's just his own stubborn mind who refuses it

He hates himself

No, scratch that, he loathes himself for becoming like this

His mom's words were very dear to him even it's just a simple phrase

"Don't try to be something that you're not"

Don't be a fucking people pleaser

Now, he got the point why you don't like these titles at school

The social cliques at the campus

It's also his own fault that he got into this

He wanted to be somebody

Even it hurts people that he loves the most

So, that same morning, he is so determined to be different this next coming school year

He trashed everything that upsets him, he even ditched some of his varsity jackets, all of his trophies he put them all in a case and placed them on the attic

Everyone is going crazy how he acted so differently at school

He just rolls his eyes at it, god, now he really fucking gets it why you're so ick to this

"They're so overdramatic at this stuff, I mean- what's the damn point?!?" your voice echoes to his mind

That's where he retired of being King Steve

Everytime he heard someone mentioning it, he just grimaces, winces and even cringed at it

He doesn't even Iike to be called on that name anymore

Sure, he is still good at his academics and sports but now ever since he pulled that "dropping his title" at school?

He is now getting the treatment of true colors

Now, he is out of that barrier of being on the top popular guy at school

His eyes and mind opened at your perspective

He can see it why, fuck, that adds more salt to the wound

He cannot even blame anyone for making him being this way

Maybe, high school is tough that's why he did it

But then, he notices a pattern of events on his life

Fuck, he is just like his father

He rarely visits the house and just talking about his work and didn't gave him a chance to speak what is going with his only son

He never paid attention, never even cared, not even felt any affection to him

But when he does, he just snaps at him, and tell him that being emotional is weak

Having feelings are weak?

How fucked up is that?

So, he kept his mouth shut even though he wanted to yell at his father

The only parent that he felt being loved is his own mom

His mom that left them both behind, he can still remember it

Because why?

His father cheated on her too

It's like a damn cycle, it making him violently vomit at the thought of it,

History repeats itself

He made a promise to himself that he won't ever be like his father

But, he already done it and it angers him even more

"Hey, Steve" he opens and locks the door behind him

Not "Hey, son" am I even your son? He thinks to himself as he keeps his eyes on the television his own father doesn't even noticed the obvious scowl on his face

"There's this woman at work, who-" he chuckles in a salacious way and it sends shivers down to his spine

"Who slapped me right after I kissed her and told me that she isn't interested in me" he chuckles yet again as he removes his coat

"She wears that outfit and expect me not to do anything? She did that in order to seduce me, she wants it" he scoffs as he shakes his head

He gotten so uncomfortable, he starts shifting from his seat

Steve needed this bottled up emotions to blow up

He wants and he needs his father to hear him out

"That's what you did to, Mom, too, huh?"

The silence is too loud, Steve is so fucking insane for doing this confrontation but he has to do it or else he will lose his mind

"What the fuck did you just say?" His dad grumbles as he stares down at his son with a fire on his eyes

He glares at him as he chuckles dryly, "You're so messed up that it hurts" he spats

"What are you even talking about?" He pushed him by the shoulder

"I hate that you're my dad!" He does the same action as he stumbles back, Steve thought his mind playing tricks at him but he swore for a brief moment that he saw his dad cracked

He is guilty, he is ashamed of it, he knows he is not a perfect father, he is not proud of it

15 year old, Steve would've been shitted on his pants for doing this but he is not afraid of it anymore

He is completely appalled, lost for words, the way his narcissistic exterior washed out on instant

"I lost the girl that I ever truly loved because of you!" He points at himself with anger and sadness swirling into his eyes

"Do you think it's easy for me to live out my life there knowing that my own fucking father is proud to have this mindset?!?" He steps closer as he makes hand motions to his head

"I can't just push you away because why? You're my dad, I-I can't just do that" He throws his hands up as he sighs in exasperation

"I-I have so much things that I wanted to scream out loud for you to hear because I've been carrying it for a long time and it really sucks because this argument isn't going to change anything" He is trying to so hard not to bawl in front of his old man but it his voice wavered badly but he didn't care

This is the most unfiltered thing he has ever done in his life and he knows for sure this will help him....A lot

"You've gone soft, Steve, that's the real world"

He looks at him with furrowed brows as he shooks his head

"I'm not gonna grow up to be just like you, asshole" He laughs incredulously as he starts picking up his shoulder bags and luggage

"Where do you think you're going, young man?"

"I'm going to leave because I'm sick of you and this big house"

"You're not able to survive out there without my help"

"You know for the first time in forever made me realize having a enormous fortune isn't necessary in life sometimes"

"You listen here-"

"What is fortune when you don't even have a good fucking relationship with your parents and household"

That's where he slams the door shut and breathes out a really long satisfying sigh with a proud smile on his face

He feels good, he feels great, he feels he has done something wonderful in his life

This is just the start of it

He takes his car keys and drove away like nothing ever happened

"Steve! Earth to Steve!" Robin clapping her hands right across to her bestfriends face

"What- I'm sorry" he says as he began shifting on his seat

"Okay, so to be clear, y'all are highschool sweethearts before-" Robin squints her eyes as she make gestures to her expressive hands

"and I was...." His shoulders slumped down, he doesn't even want to finish the sentence

"King Steve" Robin shrug both of her shoulders as she gave a sympathetic smile

"yeah" A small but sad smile flashes on his lips as he ducks his head down in shame

Robin is obviously needs some more information to fully understand what happened to your relationship with him

"Is it so bad?"

"is far more than bad, Robs"

"Did you kill someone?"

Steve eyes widened as he genuinely laughed, "N-No- I didn't!"

She chuckles but she is glad she made him laugh, "So, what is it then?"

He just made this one look to Robin and as she tries to read his eyes, her smile drops

"Oh"

As if you we're on cue, you placed their orders on their table as Robin made a stressful brush up to her hair as she glances at you

"Your order's are complete, just call me if you're ready to-"

"We can pay now" Robin's voice is firm but a hint of disappoint surrounding at the tone of her voice

You looked over at Steve for a sec who still gave you those pleading eyes as you tried your best to look away as you gave the receipt to them

You've taken both of their payment as you walk away quietly

Did just Steve talked about you to her?

Fuck

"Robin- I"

"I know it's in the past, It isn't my place to open up the wound again" she sighs as she tug up a smile to him

He smiles as he nods to her words, he is worried that this could ruin their friendship

"But I am fond that you chose to change, Steve, you changed for her" she places her palm on top of his as she pats it gently

"Do you still love her?" Robin asks him as she tries to search his eyes

She can see it, the same devotion is still there, it never died and it never will be

His last words to you echoed into his mind

"I can't never love again, I only want you"

And it truly did

He still does

Robin chuckles slightly to Steve with those lovesick eyes, "Of course, you do"

"You can't never get over with your first love"

You're done with the night as you put on your jacket along with your sling bag on the shoulder

But when the time you got inside of your car, your vehicle won't start up everytime you try it won't ever run

You sigh in frustration "Goddamn it!"

You look over to the other side of the road, you saw Steve locking up the doors at the Family Video

Shit, the universe is really testing you

You walked outside of your car as you close the door with a slam as you start to pace around it

You fumbled with the stuff inside of your bag as you pulled out a cigarette stick and you flick the lighter in your pocket

You inhale deeply as you blow out the smoke, you massage the back of your neck as you try to figure how to get the fuck outta here

You're mad that you're hopeless to get home

The last thing that you wanna do and the last option is to get ride home with Steve

You felt a hand behind you, you shrieked as you almost punched him in the face

"Woah- it's just me!" He held both of your wrist as he takes as step foot back to dodge your aim

You huff as you tap off the excess from your cigarette, you mumbled a small "sorry"

Well, isn't this great? Your first conversation with him after what??? 3 years???

He doesn't want to react because he hasn't seen you smoke before, I mean- you can do what you want but both of you really did changed

Did you developed anything else such as bad habits? that added another pang into his chest seeing you do things that you've never done before

He looked over to your car, "What happened?"

You blew out the smoke as turn your head into the other side, you try your best to remain calm but it feels all too much when he is this close to you "My car won't start"

"I can take you home, I know a place that can fix your car tomorrow" he suggest as he offers you a ride home respectfully, you can see that

Something is not right to him and it's giving you the creeps not in a bad way but why do he seems so nice? Is it because of you or he changed too?

You have no other choice, the terminal closes up pretty early, so, there's no train or bus to take

Only for tonight, just this night

You blew out the last smoke as you stub the cigarette into the nearest ashtray near the trash can

His eyes are glued to you, he watches your every move, of course, he knows that you wanna wrap this all up and forget all of this ever happened

As much as he wanted to talk to you ask you if you're okay, he respects your peace and boundaries

"Okay" you walk back up to him as the both of you crossed the road

What the fuck? Is he a gentleman now? You're not used to him like this, opening up the car door for you?

You flashed him a small but also confused smile as he jogs into the driver's seat

You saw the oh so familiar necklace that hangs on the rearview mirror

You made that necklace to him

Why does he still keep it?

He starts the engine as he put his hand over the headrest as he drives backwards

The drive was....so awkward and how quiet it is ringing to his brain

You just busied yourself watching all of the scenery outside in the car window as you passed by into different places

He takes his chances to glance at you

My god, he can't believe that you can still made him feel like this way

You crossed your leg that made your skirt rides up a little, he clears his throat

"Uh, so, which way should I go to?"

"Just turn here" you point out to him

He brings the car around the different small houses and his breath staggered he recognizes it

Oh, you're here because of your family

You're only having a vacation

"Stop here!" The tires screech as he stops abruptly and you accidentally bring yourself closer to him that he almost almost can kiss your lips in just one move

His breath hitched at the gap between the two of you

Your eyes flit to his and to his lips

It felt like eons that you both just stare for each other at the moment

You know and he knows

Fuck, you still love him

"I-I gotta go" you slowly move back up as you open the door but before you get outside, you softly say "thank you" and closed the door

You didn't give him a chance to reply as you quickly grab your house keys to unlock the front door

He sighs as he massages his forehead, he rolls up the windows before you get inside

"Take care" he says as you only nod and closed the door behind you

You squeezed your eyes shut at whatever that was inside of his car

"What are you even looking for?" He says not looking at you as he looks at a Nazareth vinyl

"Michael Jackson's Bad album" you say as you squealed gleefully when you found the one you were looking for

"We're going to be late for the movie, sweetheart" he hold both of your shoulders to grab your attention

"They're aren't going to start without us, Eddie" you say as you smirk at him as you walk away

"We have to buy popcorn-" he whines jokingly as he kept being all dramatic while he slings his arm around yours

"and drinks and other goodie stuff, I know, I'm just gonna pay this, stay calm" you giggled as you excitedly take the purchased album into your hands

"Hey, Eddie!" The same girl with the dusty blonde hair greets him the same time as you both are about to leave the record store

You can't never avoid him, huh?

She looks at you and your hand is wrapped around his forearm as she gives you a small wave

You only nod and smile, Steve is right behind her

"Dude, what's up?" Eddie greets him, right you forgot they studied in the same school

Of course, they knew each other, except for you because you left

You're nervous because of what Steve might think of you but you can't see anything on his face and his eyes

He doesn't seemed to mind that you're with someone else, there's no jealousy, mockery, sarcasm as he talks to Eddie

He doesn't even noticed how close you are at the metalhead

Meanwhile, Robin saw how you study him, but you look away you don't want to make him realize that you still care for him after all of this time and as she does as well

"Where are you two going?" Steve beams as he takes in how divine you look, Eddie didn't even catches it

"To the movies!" Eddie grins as he pulls you by his side as you roll your eyes playfully

"Are you guys going to watch Batman?" Robin gasps as she watches Eddie eyes goes big in excitement

"Yeah" you nod at her, Robin who is surprised that's the first ever interaction that you just had with her, so, she decided to introduce herself to you

"I'm Robin, by the way, I'm the bestfriend of Steve- ow!" He hits her by the shoulder as you chuckle in amusement in the way Robin punctuates and emphasizes the words to you

"We gotta go now" Eddie chuckles as he wraps his arms around you, but halts his tracks as he remembers something

"Sure, see you later" Steve nods as he purses his lips together as the both of them step inside

"Harrington, you could invite her to your party!" Eddie points at you and your close your eyes in embarrassment

You didn't tell Eddie about your history together with Steve but you did kinda....throw some hints at him about your past but didn't reveal the real name

Party? He still does that? you think to yourself

You saw how Steve became jittery all of the sudden as he tries to drop the topic right away but Robin, a glint of mischief on her eyes as she snaps her fingers at Eddie

Damn, you got yourself invited but you grew amused to the mystery girl

"I can't fucking believe you did that" he glares at his bestfriend who is pretending to be innocent as she walks away from him

"Oh- please, don't act that you didn't want that" she scoffs at his in denial behavior as she saw a vinyl that is similar to his situation

"You still want her, right?" Robin smirks as she gives the vinyl to him who is now gauging at his reaction

He takes the vinyl out of her hands without looking at it first but he laughs as soon as he saw the title

"Baby Come Back by The Player"

She wiggles her brows at him, he tries to kick her by the leg but she managed to dodge it

"Don't fuck it up this time, dingus"

"Trust me, I won't"

You had fun watching Batman with Eddie, he'll be right back with you as he headed at the men's restroom

You overheard a kid who is very defensive with his bestfriend, you try not to pry but until you heard the name "King Steve"

You've never looked around so fast in your entire life and your eyes fall onto the boy

"You're being friends with a douchebag-"

"He is not a douchebag!"

"Yeah, right, I heard he break girl's hearts like it was nothing-"

"T-That's not true!"

God, your mind is saying no but your heart is making you walk towards him

Curiosity got the best of you as you listen closely, but you stay alerted when things get heated

The poor kid, huffs as he shifts on his stance as he watches the two young ones left him

"He doesn't even like that name anymore, what a bunch of assholes"

"Hey, are you okay?"

He quickly swipes the tears away "Y-Yeah, I'm good"

He probably doesn't even remember you, "Dustin, right?"

"Yeah"

You smile sweetly at the kid, you really shouldn't ask a lot about him but you feel mystified of what you just witnessed, "Was that true? about what you said at Steve?"

"He cares a lot, he loves a lot, he is willing to do anything just to protect- Wait a second- who are you anyway?" He was getting into until he realizes that he is talking to a stranger and he paused

The kid missed the endearment on your eyes as you blink rapidly, you looked over your shoulder as you saw Eddie searching for you

"I'm gonna go now, bye" you say as he tries to chase you but you got lost in the crowd until he can't no longer see you

"Whoever that person is, that's so bizarre" he speaks for himself

"I have to tell this to Steve at the upcoming party"

He is not looking forward to it

But he wishes you were

He doubt that you will show up over at his house

But, honest to god, he thought the time stopped when I saw you walking by alongside with Eddie and Robin

His brain is muddled and his heart rate is increasingly so fast

"Hey, Steve-" Dustin jogs over to him but his mind is elsewhere as the door swings open

"Here we are" Eddie does his classic antics as he opens his arms as you chortled

"Welcome" Steve steps aside as he lets you all walk in

"Where's the drinks?" Robin feels so at home like she unashamedly looks through his refrigerator

"It's literally 7pm- don't you dare drink-" He puts his hands over his hips as he reasons with Robin

"Not that- I'm just thirsty" Robin rolls her eyes as she tries to explain

"You?" Dustin loudly made a sound that all of the guests caught their attention

You give him a small wide and a crooked smile and now you're regretting attending this

Steve clocked your reaction as he hold your shoulder leading you away from him

"Why are you point at her, Henderson?" Eddie is perplexed as he tries to understand the situation

"You mean- you didn't know?" Dustin bunches up his eyebrows at the metalhead

Steve glares at Robin who winced at the look that his bestfriend just gave him

"I think, you might want to sit down, Munson"

Steve has taken you in the backyard as he slides the door close

Oh, hell no

Not this place

Steve cringes what he just realized but he tries to keep his composure

"You still do parties, huh?"

He stare at you for a second, are you actually having a conversation with him?

"Uh no- we're going to have a movie marathon, not a party"

"Oh" you nod slowly in understanding as you stare at the swimming pool, you breathe in deeply as you keep your hands to yourself

Your sight of vision fell into Eddie, Robin, Dustin bickering at each other as you saw the guilty look on your metalhead bestfriend directed at you as you send him a small smile as you look away yet again

"I see that you told them"

"I-I'm sorry, I only told Robin-"

"Save it, Steve" your voice has gotten serious unlike earlier, but he can see it in your eyes that you're fighting between your emotions

You're trying your best to resist yourself for giving yourself away too fast

Steve's shoulders tensed as he looked up into the sky to find the right words to say to you

You deserve to know that, he needs you to know that him and Robin are nothing more than a platonic friendship

"Robin is just my bestfriend, she helped me"

"Help you?....with what?" You knit your brows together as you look at him in question with your arms crossed

"I- uh- I moved away from my dad after we- to live on my own independently" He suddenly became shy as he scratches the back of his neck as he averts his gaze somewhere else

That's where he truly see your eyes soften as your eyes went everywhere to his face

He can communicate properly with you now?

He is actually saying the truth to you?

You're not used to it and he knows he doesn't blame you

Before you can reply, Dustin calls out at the both of you as Steve sighs when you're the first one to walk away from him

"Hey, are you okay? dude?" Dustin asks him sincerely

"Yeah, man, I'm good" He lies, as he gives his young bestfriend a forced smile

False bravado, that's the mask that he's wearing all the time ever since you reappeared again

Tryna' keep up a smile that hides a tear

He wants you so bad, but how he will ever to win you back?

"Sweetheart, I'm so sorry, I didn't know-"

"It's fine, Eddie, it's not your fault"

"Do you want to leave?"

"No, I'm gonna stay, Eddie- it's alright, I promise"

"Just tell me, if you're not up for it anymore, okay?"

"Okay"

Everyone is a blobbering mess after seeing Dead Poets Society, except for you and Steve

You caught him giving you those eyes yet again like he was begging for you

Begging for you to give him a chance

He wants to talk to you, the scariest thing you could ever say to him that your doors are chained and he'll understand

But the thing is that, he can't live without you

He'll do anything to persuade you, convince you, make you believe that he is nothing like the "Steve" the one you've met before

If he could go back in time, he would redo everything

The moment when everyone is leaving and saying their goodbyes

He took your hand and he must swallow his shock because you let him hold you for the first time in forever

Eddie even talked to him while you were distracted by Robin, by him saying "I don't know what happened between the two of you that much but.... I'd get her back, man, whatever it takes"

"Can we talk?" He whispers as he puts you in the corner where no one else can see you both

"Steve-"

"Just give me the chance to make you see-"

Oh, Steve's brain just mushed down

Because you're fucking kissing him

He recovers as he cupped both of your cheeks as he gives into you

Your hand gets lost to his hair, god- he misses that a lot, your sweet scent, he's inhaling it so much that electrocutes his brain

The kiss went into seconds, minutes and feels like an hour

You don't know what's gotten into you but you know you're going to blame yourself for this

You already told yourself that your guard is up

But, your heart tells no otherwise and your body reacted, so, positively that it flushed down closer to his

You stopped yourself as you saw him chasing after your lips but then he saw how hurt you look, his heart drops to his stomach as he gulped

He is flustered and so are you, but he sees the recognition in your eyes, the realization

He flinched the way you angrily punched him in the chest all of the sudden as you wept in front of him

No words thrown out between the two of you

It's the same damn kiss

It never changed, it still feels the same, moves the same, the way both of your lips melded into one another is a complete shocker to you

He didn't care about your outburst as he let the tears fall from his face as he embraces you instead

He starts caressing your head as he tries to keep you calm on his warm hug

You held onto his shirt in a fist that you violently sobbed face flat in front of his chest

As much as you wanted to stay in that area

You begrudgingly dragged yourself away from him as you walked outside, not giving him a second look

He knocks off one of his picture frames as he slides his back down against the wall as he started crying

Love is embarrassing, isn't it?

3 years, 3 goddamn years, you both still yearn for each other

Your first kiss after 3 years invaded his mind the entire night, he stares at the empty space of his bed

God, he wishes that you were here next to him on his arms

You've never packed up your stuff so fast in your entire life

You're ready to leave first thing in the morning

The door bell rings and you hold your breath for a second

"Oh no, not you- Steve-" you tried to close the door but no to avail as he stepped his foot to prevent you from for not letting him in

He glanced at your luggage and bags that makes his stomach twist

"Have you used up all of it?" He says as he kept his eyes on you

"W-What are you even talking about?!?" You threw your notepad in the near table, fuck- you shouldn't have double checked too much on your lists before going out

He got you now, you can't escape this

"All the love in your heart"

That's where you avoid his eyes as he moves closer to you

"Ain't there nothing left for me?"

"Steve- stop!"

"That's right-"

"What-"

"A lot of people that I know what I did to you was foolish, anyone can see it"

You let your stubborn attitude subside as you listen to him

"There's was something and everything about you"

You take out a shuddering gasp as your eyes burn from the threatening tears

"You can blame it all on me, I was wrong, baby, I-I just can't live without you"

He could've done this before

Take the responsibility of his actions and not to sugarcoat every word and have the guts to hold the accountability of his mistakes

"Steve, you gotta move on-" you lie what you truly feel, what's stopping you?

"Baby come back, come back to me, please"

"S-Steve, I don't know if I can trust you-"

"I didn't realized what I had when you're were mine!"

Your guarded demeanor has shunned off as you let your arms dropped to your sides

"I-I confronted my dad after one month ago when we go on our separate ways, I-I know this is unbelievable but I removed everything that you didn't like with me, my friends, my title, all of it, and it did helped me to become a better person"

He looks straight into your eyes, he never looks away as he tries to make you understand

"And I'm so very sorry that pulling up that fucked up shit that I did before just so I can improve myself and to have a character development was utter bullshit, hurting you was never right"

You purse lips together as you shake your head in disbelief

"What I said back there was still true too"

"What do you mean?"

"That no matter what you do to me, whatever happens to the both of us, I'd still love you"

He cries, his face glows so red as he takes in every feeling that he's receiving

You're the first one yet again to kiss him

He yelped as he brings you closer to him, your hands went through his hair as you throw your arms around him, he dives in deeper earning a moan out of you

He breaks out of the kiss, your face went pale but he shuts off your thoughts with the words

"You sure, you want to do this?"

"Steve, yes, I do, I want you like you want me, I need you like I need you-"

You're about to dove back on him aggressively but something feels so different on his touches, it's not foreign but it's making you want to bawl at how he is so soft with you

His eyes crinkle in awe and delightment as he couldn't get anymore happier

He carries you upstairs as he puts you onto the bed carefully

He removes his shirt and his pants, you get out of your shoes and when you're about to remove the straps of your dress, he beats you to it as he slowly takes it off but not without kissing your neck

His hands goes under your skirt as he plays with the garter of your panties

You spoke his name so decadent that he nearly melted down on you

You held onto him by the shoulder blades as he finds the zipper on the back your dress, he unzips carefully and lovingly as he takes his sweet time to adore and treasure every single moment of you

This is not just sex, he never looked at you like the one from before only filled with lust

This is love and admiration and it touches your heart so deeply that it might've been stop beating for a few moments

It's unreal that he is doing this to you, it's also unreal that you let him do this to you

When all of it's left is your paired black lacy undergarments

You both stare together for a while as you held his cheeks as he rests on it

He smiles so wide that it actually hurts and so are you, your smile lingered everytime he looks at you

You raise yourself using your elbows as he unclasp your bra, he threw your bra across the floor somewhere, he can't help but to kiss you again, you mewl as you fall back down on the mattress, you grind yourself against him as he groans when felt how wet you are

You kept grinding yourself onto him as he grants your wish as the friction increases more

Next thing to remove is your panties, you whine, when he licked a stripe into your cunt

"Steve-"

"Yes, baby?"

"I wanna feel you"

You don't need him to ask him twice as his boxers flew off somewhere

He carefully enters your sopping aching hole as you both moan in pleasure

Your jaw falls slack as your furrowed brows crumpled up even more as you adjust to his size

He kisses every part of your body, worships it while you're losing your mind of how it feels so fucking good just like before

"F-Fuck" he curses, praising you as he kisses your jaw

He watches how your cunt clamps sucking him inch by inch, he grunts when you start clenching around him

You're drooling, your eyes are fucked out, you're brain is mashed up

You're a fucking goner

He kneads your breasts as you moan even louder, the squelching sounds that comes in and out of you is music to his ears

"S-Steve, pleas-e move!" you squeal and your voice becomes so tiny that you bit your lip

He spreads your legs far more wide as he grabs your hips harder

You arch your back when he picks up the pace and hitting the spot were you're mostly addicted

"Oh!"

Your eyes roll backwards as your mouth hangs "0" shapes as Steve watches your expression contorts in pleasure

Breasts are jiggling, he goes faster and faster, he places himself on the crook of your neck as he puts lovebites all over it

You locked him in place as you can't keep your suppressed screams any longer

"Steve!"

"Christ-"

You scream his name so loud that his brain shortcircuit as you both came undone

He peels himself off of you but you held him close

"No, don't pull out just yet"

You tap him by the shoulders as you switched positions, he let out a sharp gasp at the angle that you're on top of him

Despite the overstimulation, you grind yourself onto him

"Woah- baby, fuck-"

"Yeah?"

"Don't give me that look- I'm gonna bust"

You giggled as you close your eyes at the sweet sensation as your brows pulled together and you moan when you start to bounce on his cock

Holy fucking shit, you rocked up his world

His hands are everywhere literally setting you on fire, he brings you closer as you continue to do your job as you look at him with blacked out eyes

His eyes got even more darker as he copies your move making your head fell onto the side allowing him the access to kiss your neck

You both went off to one another as you both entered another climax

You fell asleep together after 3 years

The scenario you'll never thought you could experience again

You woke up in a cold empty bed as you look around in your room, you can't see his clothes anymore, maybe he's in downstairs

The last night events flashes right before your very eyes as you bring your knees up

A tinge of pink on your cheeks as you try to remember every detail happened last night you were so beyond elated and in a complete bliss

You wore your dress again as you went downstairs only to find Robin

"Robin?" You ask in confusion, not that you don't want her here but it's just so random

"Hi" she waves awkwardly as she scratches her head

"What are you doing in here? Where's Steve?" You look for him again but it seems like he left

"Don't freak out-" She breathes out

You raise both of your eyebrows as you motion for her to continue

"He's at the airport" She says as she starts following you making you stay focus but she has no power to control you

"What?" You take your car keys as you went inside the vehicle and turn on your engine

"Wait- stop! He didn't told me the reason why! He just said he'll be at the airport!" She shouts out loud as she rests her back against your front door

"Okay, I'll be here at your house! Steve and his ridiculous lovelife- I swear to god- I'm gonna kick him in the ass" she slumps down in defeat as she mutters words under her breath

Why would he leave you?

Fuck, no- did he regret it again?

Tears well up in your eyes as your stomach began to churn as you fighting for your dear life to get into the airport as fast as you could

No, Steve wouldn't- stop overthinking- maybe, he has a reason

He won't just leave you like this, you felt how soft and he made you feel like you're the only person on his life

He made you think that the both of you had a future

So, why would he leave without a word?

You ran as your feet can take you, but when you saw the airplane takes it flight, you rest your head against the window and sobbed

The familiar voice calls your name and you look around a bewildered Steve who is now walking towards you

"Baby, what are you doing-"

"I thought you left me" you hold him tight as you looked at him in the eyes

"You're not going to leave me? Are you?" Your voice sounds so small that he doesn't want to see you crying anymore

"Honey, I'm here, I would rather jump off a cliff for leaving you all alone again, okay?" He reassures you as your worried features decreases but there's still uncertainty on your eyes as he takes a deep breath

"Robin is in the house, I don't-" he cuts you off as he tuts

"Ah-ah, let me speak- the airline called me in the morning and told me that the schedule that I booked in for is going to take off and of course, that would be a disaster since I used half of my expenses for the flight right? So, I made a decision on the spot- I called Robin to accompany you because you were peacefully asleep, baby, I don't wanna wake you and I was about to come back to you and tell you that you're coming with me" he held up in front of your face of two airplane tickets

Your unsureness totally fades away as you look at the ticket, you read aloud what it says

"Chicago?"

"Yeah, I'm going to take you with me while I study for college"

"I actually want to take master's degree too"

"Yeah? We can go together"

A big smile grows on your lips as you step forward to him as he closes the gap and gives you the most promising kiss

"We better start packing up soon"

"We sure are"

"I love you"

He kisses your cheek, "I don't think I could love you more, baby, I love you more than anything"

•

special mention to @savage-aespa, this person here is the main reason why I made this fic! literally giving me an idea that there's a possibility for them to be together and I hope I did my job alright! I'm sorry, it took me a month to finish this up and if you made it here, thank you so so much for reading, your support and your kindness will always be appreciated! take care always! 🥹🫶🏻✨

[nthspecialll]

We have all seen the edits and drawings of Dutch with "I'm your man" by Mitiski, more specifically with the lyrics "you believe me like a god, I betray you like a man," but it is not just those lyrics that fits Dutch and practically the entirety of the gang.

(Warning I am not a huge Mitiski fan so I will just take the lyrics as they are without any deeper meaning and compare them to red dead to give them a deeper meaning)

While the whole "you believe me like a god" might make it sound like the "me" also sees themselves as a god as well or at least superior to the other party, that is not the case.

"You're an angel, I'm a dog

Or you're a dog and I'm your man."

This part hints at confusion between standing of the two parties. The "I" isn't sure about what their position is with the other party, either the "you" is an angel and themselves a dog, someone lesser, something lesser, or the "I" is a man and the "you" a dog. The "I" never put themselves as something eternal, they never claim to be unworldly or godly, instead they willingly put themselves underneath the "you" and only above them in the same way a man would an animal, a dynamic that while it might hold love also is clear on who is in control.

Dutch and Arthur's dynamic is constantly changing. On one hand, Arthur is a workhorse, the one Dutch sends our for his dirty work, the one Dutch knows he can control and make him do anything, on the other hand we have their family dynamic of Dutch saying that Arthur means more to him than what a son would and acting as if he is the best thing ever.

"You believe me like a god

I'll destroy you like I am."

While the "I" never sees themselves superior, the "you" puts the "I" on a pedestal, making them their god and the "I" takes advantage of that and destroys the "you." This is similar to Dutch and Arthur. Dutch was not a good man ever, while he and the others did do their Robinhood act, they were never good men, they killed, they robbed and they ruined, but Arthur saw Dutch as a god or a father more than a mere mentor and Dutch ruined Arthur for that in the end.

"I'm sorry I'm the one you love

No one will ever love me like you again."

The "I" knows they are bad, they know they are ruining the other and they know that they will never get the loyalty that the "you" gave them again. While this might not seem like Dutch and Arthur, it very much is in the end.

Dutch in the end when Arthur is dying seems angry, frustrated and conflicted, because while he is seeing his son dying, he knows there is something he does not know. While he feels angry that Arthur did what he did, he never did think Arthur was a "betrayer", he thought John was, he thought John was talking to the Pinkertons and had convinced Arthur that Dutch was bad. He felt sad that Arthur was dying because of John and his manipulation and he knows he will never find the loyalty Arthur gave him again from anyone, and he is right, even in 1911, he has yet to find someone like Arthur.

"So when you leave me, I should die

I deserve it, don't I?"

I am of the firm belief that Dutch spent a long while alone after Arthur's death because the newspapers while talking of him, do not mention another gang, only the old one, and in red dead one they speak as if Dutch's gang is fairly new which would also explain why the Agents were suddenly able to locate him, because he became active again.

This could be to lay low, or it could be because he was thinking over what he had done and what had happened, and considering how much Arthur meant to him it wouldnt be strange to say he might have spent some years in self hatred or pity.

"I can feel it gettin' near

Like flashlights comin' down the way

One day you'll figure me out

I'll meet judgment by the hounds."

This is where it gets a bit more tricky because I believe the "you" changes here, where "you" were Arthur before, it can now be seen as John.

In 1911 John is hunting down Javier and Bill, something Dutch no doubt knew and heard about, while he might have hoped to be able to defeat John, he would have known that John would come for him and he would be able to "see him come near" as he kills off the two others. Dutch knows one day John will be his end, one day John will figure him out and he will have to face the consequences of his actions.

"People always gave me love

Others were never to blame after all."

This is quite obvious how it comes to Dutch, they gave Dutch everything, they gave him their lives to lay if he so wish and in the end it was not their fault that the gang split up. No it was not Micah's fault, while Micah did manipulate, he never forced Dutch's hand, even without Micah Dutch would have lost himself down the road, it was in the end Dutch's fault.

"You believe me like a god

I'll betray you like a man."

John loved Dutch, maybe even more than Arthur, after all John is often seen as Dutch's son while Arthur is seen as Hosea's, not just by the fandom but the characters as well. We see characters call John Dutch's golden boy and his pet. It was also Arthur who had to convince John and truly let him see what Dutch was doing, to let him know that the concerns he had were true.

Dutch removed the noose from John's neck when John was twelve, saving him like a miracle, yet Dutch shot at John in the end like he was no one special, just another man to be put in the ground.

[streets-in-paradise]

In These Arms - Achilles x (Fem) Trojan!Reader

Warnings: Paris dumped the reader for Helen before she gets to meet Achilles. Includes break up angst + discussion of cheating.

Summary: Heartbroken and publicly humilliated after being abandoned by Paris, you seek peace in the promise of giving up on men without realizing the consequences of his actions would find you one last time.

Turned into a war prisoner and handled to the leader of the myrmidons, the unusual comfort of your master offers you a second chance.

Note: Inspired by two prompt lists by my dear friend @alysinwonderland-at-tea

Angst list - Prompt 4 " Everyone told me you were going to break my heart. I should have listened to them. "

Fluff list - Prompt 2 "I think about you. Ceaselessly."

Tags: @lovelybaka

If everyone else in Troy had reasons for sorrow, on top of theirs you were the most damaged. The man you loved had returned home bringing someone else on his charriot. A stolen queen, woman you didn't have the slightest chance of comparing yourself to given the charm of her famously inhuman beauty. Even when Paris never made any expressed promises priorly, love confessions had once been mutually retributed and you believed in that.

You trusted him going against the advice of many people who attempted to warn you. His own brother had told you that no matter how much he spoke of it, Paris knew nothing about love. Blinded by your feelings, you didn't care, and it turned out the worst mistake of your life.

" Everyone told me you were going to break my heart. I should have listened to them. "

It took you all the strenght you had left not to cry, but at that moment of confrontation it was him the one sobbing in front of you.

" I never meant to! Dear, what I felt for you was real … But it wasn't true love, and I had no way to tell the difference untill I meet Helen. "

You couldn't believe the excuse that was being given to you.

" It was for me, Paris … and because of you I think I will never love again. I gave you everything, but turns out all I am wasn't enough. "

The assumption seemed to have offended him.

" You know I don't mean that! Please, try to understand! "

" What's left to understand? You betrayed your homeland and you betrayed me. You too deserve each other, indeed: a cheater for a cheater … Lovely couple to doom us all! And me the first."

He gave you a hurted look, as if after what he did he still cared for your forgiveness.

" My heart breaks for you, and i am ashamed of myself for the pain i'm causing you … But what can shame do to stop the intensity of love? I would have never accompanied Hector to Sparta if I would have known there I would fall like this for someone else. I couldn't return pretending nothing have happened, and making you live a lie would have been even more unfair than this. You deserve better, I still hold good feelings for you. I swear it on these arms that had comforted you countless times before. "

Paris attempted to pull you closer for a hug, but you stopped him ríght away.

" You humilliated me in front of the entire city! And how strongly I wish I could get granted the mercy of never seeing you again, but Troy is not big enough for that. Blessed is the king of Sparta, who gets the ríght of spreading hate without having to see his wife in the arms of other man every day! Me, instead? I get doomed to watch you smile happyly from afar in the balcony of the palace alongside your mistress for the rest of my life. Do you call that justice, Paris? If that is your mercy, I would rather get your hate. "

In the most twisted way possible, the gods granted at least one of your wishes.

Promising yourself to never love another man ever again after your first love had ended so bitterly, you took the first step into the only path allowed for a woman in your position. With the help of Briseis, who remained your friend despite what happened with her cousin, you seeked to get choosen to take vows in her temple. It was a quick way to restitute your honor in the public eye and be left alone as well. Unfortunately, you didn't get to even try on the priestess robes before the concecuencies of Paris' actions reached you once more.

Greek warriors brought to avenge the husband of his new lover destroyed the temple, killing the priests and taking you prisioner. You would never get to see the great city of Priam again and, despite the sorrow you felt when thinking of your family, that also caused you a dark sense of relief. Because of Paris you have lost everything, even the most bassic of goods such as your freedom. Only after loosing so much, of hitting rock bottom, you had a real chance to be free of him.

Enslaved to Achilles, but liberated from everything you were before, the worst part was having to stand the provocations. The myrmidon enjoyed himself attempting to seduce you, but wasn't forcing you into his bed, and that worked good enough for you in that context.

At one given time you did found his teasing going too far, and only then you became fully honest with him.

" Why did you choose to love a god? I think you will find the romance one sided. "

It made your blood boil, even if you could tell he spoke to you like that because he had no idea of who you were despite knowing your name. Achilles believed to be teasing a priestess and in the discoverment of his mistake you ended up laying eyes on him for longer than you should.

He was wearing the same type of long egyptian styled robes Paris would typically wear in the domestic environment, keeping arms and shoulders covered while fully exposing the torso. It was matched with the same sort of long skirt made of light fabrics opened at the side for more cassual expousure. You could vividly remember he wore a black outfit almost identical to that one during the first night you made love.

And yet, that man looked nothing like him. His sun kissed skin and the sculpted muscles were as contrasting as his blond hair and blue eyes.

" I have choosen nothing, fate forced me to seek shelter in the cult of Apollo after being abandoned by the love of my life. I told myself that, if i could never love again, I could at least give my devotion to the regent god of my city. Because of you I never got to become a priestess, so now i'm a double spoil: rejected for marriage and dragged out of the temple. "

Although standing ríght in front of you, disbelief faded some of the cockiness.

" You won't be rejected here, that's a promise. I had a minor altercate with Ajax because we found you so pretty we both wanted to keep you."

He sat on the ground ríght next to you and observed you with tenderness before taunting you once more.

" Did I ruin your life, or arrived just in time to restaure your faith in men? I don't understand how a girl like you could think of running to hide inside a temple instead of getting herself a better man. "

You answered with the truth, but carefully crafting enough disdain.

" There was nothing I could have done to keep him with me when the competition was the most beautifull woman in the world. The majority of men would have done the same, and that's why I have choosen not to believe in any other ever again. "

Achilles wasn't expecting to find out he was struggling for the attention of the woman that the trojan prince had left behind in his pursuement of the spartan queen.

" Will all mankind pay for the crimes of Paris? That bastard is not even a man. You are so much better without him, consider that perhaps the queen has made you a favor. If he is your reason to give up on men, I have to say it's quite offensive for the rest of us. "

You could tell where his speech was coming and you tried to stop him.

" You would have given me to Ajax if Briseis wouldn't have ran away. I didn't left with her only because I have nothing left to live for. Living in Troy is unbereable for me, but at least here I don't have to worry about seeing them and that's the only perk i expect. Don't try to pretend you could be any different, specially when I'm here because you couldn't find any other more beautifull slave girl to claim yours. "

His hand was then on your face, lifting up your chin so your eyes won't leave his as his thumb caressed your lips.

" I think of you, ceaselessly. If there is any daughter of trojan judged more beautifull than you, I don't need to know and I don't care, because I want you over any other. "

Your hand followed his and pulled down, rejecting his contact.

" Sweet lies won't win me over, not this time. "

It frustrated him, but wouldn't make him desist.

" Would you believe me if I bring you his head on a spear? I can make him cry a painfull death to pay for your tears. Whatever vengeance Menelaus dreams of would be called mercy compared to what I can do to that trojan bastard in your name."

The strange rush of passionate defense encouraged you to reveal yourself.

" Revenge is not on my interest, all I want is to forget. Can you make me stop thinking of the first man who made my heart beat? The moments when we were happy still haunt me like a disease of the spirit, but then I remember someone else occupies my place now and it's like my heart gets eaten raw inside my chest. Pain and regret is all I have for you, son of Peleus. Paris drained me of anything else. "

Achilles got rid of his black robe and wrapped your shoulders with it.

" One night in my arms is all i think that would take me to vanish the memory of that fool from your mind. You haven't yet been loved by a real man: whatever he gave you would taste like few once you would have tasted me."

The fabric was still warm from the contact with his skin and he was holding both sides of it on top of your chest in an attempt of wrapping you tighter.

You didn't try to escape him that time and he used the new proximity in his advantage to trap you in his strong grip, pushing your body against his.

" In this arms you will find happiness again, if you allow me to show you how good I can do just for you. "

[xxsycamore]

@writingwhimsey asked: Congrats on the followers! You deserve all of them and all of the love! If you're still accepting requests, could I get 4 (breathe in their comforting scent) with ikesen Motonari? Pretty please and thank you!

Thank you so much!! I'm reading Motonari's route now and it's been very interesting! Hope I do him justice here!

[🌸] 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚋𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚍 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚘 𝙼𝚘𝚝𝚘𝚗𝚊𝚛𝚒 '𝚜 𝚜𝚌𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚕𝚎𝚝 𝚒𝚝 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚝 𝚢𝚘𝚞…

MOTONARI:

When you enter the bedroom you share with Motonari, you almost miss the fact that he's right there... Not because he's inconspicuous, god no, it's because of how unlikely it is. He's a busy man, it's a miracle if you run into each other before nightfall. You're sure he'll be off again when he's done retrieving what he came for."Oi, come here."

He's told you more than once that you wear your heart on your sleeve, and you're still surprised now when he scans over your features as if he noticed something wrong. Just as you open your mouth to ask what's the matter, he reaches out and wraps his arm around your head, forcing you to lean down and press it flush against his chest.

You're never getting used to the physical contact, not now that you're dating, never. It will always catch you wide-eyed and with warmth spreading on your cheeks... And you have a feeling he knows it damn well.

But his touch is not the only thing you can bask in, in your current position. Motonari's faint yet distinctive scent hits your nostrils, and he smells like home. He smells of the spices he cooks with, of musk and something masculine you can't quite put your finger on; he smells like crawling next to his figure at the end of the day when you push the day's hardships to the side and allow yourself to be completely present in the moment of tranquility. Somehow, you've begun to see it as a reward and not as an energy replenishment to be taken when needed. Motonari is here to remind you of that.

"Hope that 'charged yer batteries' or whatever ya like to call it."

Oh yes. It definitely did.

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[the-phantoms-kiss]

I am sorry

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John Wick X Fem!Reader 𓍯𓂃 Angst • -1k Words

Maybe he was right all along…perhaps people like us don’t deserve to feel love, and yet, here I sit on the floor in the hallway to a house he rarely resides in, weeping as I pick up the last of my belongings. Maybe he was right… I’m the problem. It has to be me, I must be the problem, otherwise he wouldn’t be afraid of loving me. That’s got to be wrong though, that would insinuate that he loved me at all which isn’t true. I could never be loved.

“Don’t make this any harder than it has to be, just take your stuff and leave.” His voice was muffled from the other side of the door I was sitting across from. “John, please-“ god I sound so pathetic, it’s no wonder he hates me. Silence, my pleas were met with silence, but not the kind we were used to, sorry, the kind I was used to. It was no longer silence where words weren’t enough to communicate, it was the kind where words would only take up more space within the heavy tension. Maybe he simply didn’t hear me. My John would never leave my pleas unheard. ‘My John’ what a foolish concept, he was never mine.

“Why? Why John? WHY?! Why? Just tell me why John. Tell me and I’ll leave you alone. I just need to understand why. Please.” I must be incomprehensible with all the sniffling and babbling. Bang. The door opens and slams against the wall. There he was, aggravated, wearing his usual suit, I don’t think I’ve ever seen him this upset. Man, I must have ticked him off. “I’m sorry.” The whisper breaks, barely leaving my lips. “This. It’s when you do this shit that really pisses me off. When you go and say sorry for every little thing as if it’ll get you some sort of pity points.” Borderline screaming, standing tall on the frame of the door. “I’m sorry.-“ “There you go again.” “I am NOT done speaking. I am sorry that my poor ol’ pitiful me bothers you so much. I am sorry that I’m not as independent as you’d like me to be. I deeply apologize for stupidly thinking that being together for 5 years meant that I’d get to hug my boyfriend once he got home, I am so sorry for assuming that you’d like to have a nice warm homecooked dinner by the time you got home. Shit, I’ll even apologize for loving you even though you told me that killers like us could never feel love. I’ll apologize for every last thing I can because it’s the only thing I’m good at doing. Ain’t that right Jardani?” “Yeah, you’re right. Now take your stuff and get out of my house.”

I stand, push him out of the way, and enter to grab my last belonging. The room was in disarray, with clothes all over the floor, drawers half open, and the dresser which still had my dresses surrounding it. Atop his nightstand was within a frame, a Polaroid he had taken of me on our first official date. Back when we were both working as assassins, before the crash.

I miss those days. I miss when I didn’t think that every bad thing that happened was because of my own fault. I miss the days when I thought I had it all under control. I miss when John would draw me a bath and rub soothing circles on my back after a long day. I miss when I felt loved.

“You never loved me, did you? You don’t need to answer that. I already know the answer. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more for you. I hope you find someone you’ll love. Goodbye, John. Goodbye. ” Up until now, he’d had his back turned against me since I walked past him, and now he watched in fear as I walked past him again he grabbed my wrist, the one with the frame. “Not this. It belongs to me.” I resisted but his grasp only became stronger, not enough to be tight, but enough to stop me.

“Stop, you’re losing me.” And to that, he let go, scared that he’d hurt me as if I was another assignment. “I’m sorry… just please… It’s mine…” “No. It isn’t. She isn’t. Not anymore. I’m taking my belongings like you told me.” “NO!” His voice cracked midway through, and his breathing was now shaky and erratic. But despite his job, his mood, and his strength, he didn’t have it in himself to stop me from walking out the front door. He probably did. He simply didn’t want to. He didn’t want to or else he would have chased after me instead of falling against the closed door, slumped with his hands on his knees like a little kid who’s hearing their mom drive away.

But it’s for the best. I’m simply wasting his time, loving him, knowing that he’ll never love me.

Where will I go now? Where will I go now that no one has waited for me, now that I’ve been left behind by the only person I gave my all to. Let’s be honest, I never had much to offer, I’m surely not the only female assassin. I’m just a waste of time…