#and got used to only expelling all my loud in controlled ways and recovering from that

[dredshirtroberts]

the saddest thing about my life to this point is that because of it, if I talk just slightly "too much", or I want to sing for longer than like a couple notes of a song (especially at an audible volume), or I start laughing in earnest, or I've eaten something delicious, i start coughing. This is because my body is so unfamiliar with the sensation of having a good time that it freaks out and over-produces phlegm any time i'm utilizing my throat because it has no idea how much we're supposed to need for this shit.

I spent most of my life not talking, or laughing with my whole being. (i did sing a lot but normally as part of a group and i was afraid of being heard and judged to be as bad as my sister told me i was at singing, so if i'm audible it's more likely to make my throat freak out). The eating thing may not be connected, but like. any time i've enjoyed a food, my throat's like "mmm we need more lube in here" and then BLAM phlegm city while i choke on it.

And then of course if my throat is raw from coughing because of the aforementioned things, you know what it likes to do? make more phlegm to lube that shit back up. Which makes me cough.

You'd think staying hydrated would fix this problem but no! in fact it does not! it can sometimes make it worse! my body is a horror show and existence is a nightmare! :D

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 280: I Am Red Riot

Previously on BnHA: The pro heroes over at Gunga Mountain struggled against Gigantomachia and the League until finally Midnight was all, “fuck it, let’s just put the kids in charge.” Momo immediately got to work organizing a sophisticated counteroffensive involving an exploding swamp, a bunch of sedative cans, and a massive coordinated team attack. I gotta tell you guys, it’s really something to watch a large-scale group attack in which all of the team members are actually competent. I don’t know what Japan put in the water when all these sixteen-year-olds were growing up, but that shit has paid off big time, and basically the only reason Machia hasn’t gone down yet is because he cheated and was all “sneeze” and the kids all got blown away because they are little and because he is really, really big. Anyway so then Dabi set the forest on fire because he loves doing that, and the chapter ended with Mina using her Acid Man attack to make herself FUCKIN’ FIREPROOF so she could charge through the woods ready to save the day and stuff!

Today on BnHA: Mina launches herself straight at Machia like the beautiful corrosive wild child she is, but then everything goes to shit when she recognizes him from that one time she almost got murdered while giving a strange man directions. Just when it’s looking like she might get killed for real this time, KIRISHIMA SHOWS UP TO SAVE THE DAY AND SHOVES HER TO SAFETY AND IS ALL “BOTTOMS UP” AND HEAVES A LITERAL CAN OF WHOOPASS RIGHT IN MACHIA’S MOUTH. At this point the grown-ups are all “oh wow look at that, time for us to take over for you kids now, don’t worry we’ve got it all under control” because Oh Those Wacky Pros and all that, but at least Majestic finally deigns to show his face so that’s a plus! The chapter ends with us cutting back to the Jakku battle, where Tomura is curled up in a little ball all “curse you heroes, how dare you [checks notes] save people all the time”, which is a real take and a half. Anyway so things are looking up, which can only mean everyone is about to die. That’s how it works, right. Shit.

HOLY SHIT LOL

THIS IS MINA. SHE’S REALLY COOL AND SHE CAN MELT PEOPLE. um, the hell kind of tagline is that?? holy fucking shit?? “melt and succumb”?? IS THE SUCCUMB PART REALLY NECESSARY. IS THAT NOT ALREADY IMPLIED. it’s like saying “die and then perish”, which actually sounds really badass and I’m about to make it my new go-to threat actually so you know what never mind. where the fuck were we anyway

“IS EVERYONE SAFE” some absurdly bad-at-gauging-situations kid from class B is yelling while the forest is on fire and all the kids are recovering from having been catapulted fifty miles by King Dodongo’s windy yeet breath. of course they are safe, sweet child. of course everyone is absolutely fine, why the fuck would they possibly not be safe after something like that

KAMINARI NOOO MY POOR SWEET BABY

AT LEAST HE’S STILL CONSCIOUS ENOUGH TO MAKE STUPID JOKES. holy shit this baby got concussed to hell and back and then Machia turned him and the others into precipitation and he wasn’t in any kind of state to even try to land safely, I hope to god someone caught him

Sero is all “is there anyone still in range!” and damn, I like that he’s taking charge and trying to regain their momentum. he is so criminally underrated. I feel like he’s in the top six or seven of class 1-A kids who I would most trust to take charge. which is very high praise because that class has a lot of charge-taking kids

SPEAKING OF

it “probably” can’t get through her acid, she says. my god. sometimes the spirit of Plus Ultra just takes ahold of these kids and it’s like, I want to ruffle their hair proudly and then grab them by the shoulders and shake them vigorously because WHERE EVEN IS YOUR SELF-PRESERVATION WHY DO NONE OF YOU HAVE IT GODDAMMIT AIZAWA REALLY SHOULD HAVE EXPELLED YOU GUYS AFTER ALL

man. and yet I really do love this “be the one who can do it” stuff. what a heroic fucking attitude dfjfklks. I’ll just go put on my humongous sandwich board that reads GIANT FUCKING HYPOCRITE and go stand in the corner

damn it this week’s scan is annoyingly dark, it’s really hard to tell what’s going on but it looks like the pros are attacking Machia and the League at long last. way to go guys it only took you seven years but you finally hopped to it

MINA WHY IS THE ACID COMING OFF OH MY GOD OH MY GOD OH MY GOD. PUT IT BACK!!!

I KNOW SHE’S NOT GONNA DIE DAMMIT BUT AHHHHH AHHHHHH AHHHHHHHH

okay what the hell is up with these weird zen proverbs though

“your fear stricken heart”, “the shortest path”, what the fuck even is this. whose thoughts are these. normally these translations are honestly decent enough but I gotta say this time around I’m totally being thrown for a loop lmao

(ETA: FYI I’m only just now realizing that he was saying the shortest path to Master, as in Tomura, not “master” as in to master something fjkldjskf lol some delayed reading comprehension there. so basically he’s just bitching about how annoying these little “flies” are proving to be.)

JESUS CHRIST

okay is it just me, or is Gigantomachia suddenly showing intelligence in his eyes instead of mindless animal instinct the single most pants-shitting thing you’ve ever seen?!! holy shit. the way he just LOOKS at her out of nowhere all of a sudden?? holy fucking shit DO NOT HURT MT. LADY OH MY GOD I’M FREAKING THE FUCK OUT. AND DON’T YOU DARE HURT MINA EITHER!! JUST FUCKING DIE AND PERISH

but also though, is that recognition in Mina’s eyes?? because even though this dude is 80 feet tall now, her encounter with him a couple years back had to have been one of the more memorable experiences of her young life. damn I was wondering when this would finally come into play

OKAY YES THE NEXT PAGE IS A FLASHBACK OH SHIT

this has nothing to do with anything but Mina just has the prettiest hair, btw, and this “just woke up covered in acid” look is a particularly good one on her. it looks so soft and fluffy, like damn. this is like Shouto-hair-billowing-in-the-wind levels of pretty here

NOOOOO

oh my god holy shit?! putting her back in the school uniform to show the slip in her mentality is a PUNK MOVE, HORIKOSHI, and I respect the shit out of you for it you manipulative bastard. goddammit. bracing myself for the incoming wave of Mina feels... here they come... they’re a lot... let’s see if I can latch on to anything I can actually figure out how to describe in words

okay well here’s one, my respect for Mina’s bravery just went up like a thousand percent in this instant, because now we know this was actually such a traumatizing event for her that hearing Machia’s voice again years later immediately sent her into a full-blown flashback. she was that scared and yet she still stood up to him and didn’t hesitate. and now I’m remembering how her knees just buckled right afterwards, and just...

and this visual, though!! what a brutally effective way to show that in her mind she went right back to being that scared middle schooler again for a moment. god fucking damn. holy shit you guys is Kirishima fireproof because if he comes waltzing out of the woods next I don’t even know what I’m gonna do. lolo kids getting traumatized left and right this arc is fucking merciless

um eXCUSE ME!?!?!

YOU MOTHERFUCKING PIECE OF SHIT LET GO OF HER RIGHT NOW OR I AM GONNA LOSE IT!!

THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT!!

holy shit he could have fucking snapped her neck like that??! I don’t like this at ALL WHAT THE FUCK

OKAY SERIOUSLY

I’M GONNA NEED ANOTHER KID TO STEP IN HERE WITH A LAST MINUTE SAVE LIKE RIGHT THE FUCK NOW, OR I AM GOING TO THROW MY COMPUTER OFF A FUCKING CLIFF AND MOVE TO THE DESERT AND BECOME A HERMIT AND NEVER READ MANGA ON THE INTERNET AGAIN

OH THANK GOD

TODAY WE SPELL “REDEMPTION” K-I-R-I... ETC. THERE’S A LOT OF LETTERS BUT YOU GET THE DRIFT!!!

holy fucking shit y’all. I mean, it’s not like it came out of nowhere, like the setup could not have been more obvious, but let me assure you that none of the predictability lessened the actual impact of this moment in the SLIGHTEST. Horikoshi really wrote a flashback scene one hundred and thirty five chapters ago and planted it, watered it once a day, and patiently waited for THREE LONG YEARS until he could finally harvest the badass fruits of his labor in the midst of his most epic arc to date. I’m so fucking hyped I’ll even forgive him for sacrificing Mina’s big moment and having her get rescued, because it’s such a good reversal. he didn’t freeze up this time. he promised himself he’d never freeze again and he didn’t and he saved her and god fucking damn. anyways so now Machia is going to treat him like a fucking action figure though but he’s a solid little dude he can take it hopefully

NO WHAT IS THIS!!! STOP KILLING MY MOOD!!!

she better not be dead!! SHE BETTER NOT FUCKING BE DEAD I WILL RUN MY PC THROUGH A PAPER SHREDDER AND GO AND LIVE ALONE WITH MY FEELS ON A MOUNTAIN IN TIBET

CHINTETSU!!

well we know he’s fireproof. another callback at the least expected of times lmao

so Tetsu’s all “yeah Kirishima’s not really all that fireproof but he totally ran over here anyway to save you. oh wait that probably wasn’t very comforting of me to say.” maybe that’s why it seems like he might not have actually said it out loud, now that I’m reading this over again. good call Tetsu

ARE YOU STANDING UP AND CASUALLY STRETCHING OUT YOUR BACK

I CAN’T EVEN BELIEVE HOW MUCH I HATE THIS GUY RIGHT NOW. WE’RE REACHING LEVELS OF HATRED RESERVED FOR NAZIS AND PEOPLE WHO WALK TOO SLOWLY IN FRONT OF ME IN A GROUP SHOULDER TO SHOULDER INSTEAD OF SINGLE FILE SO I CAN PASS IN FRONT OF THEM. YOU’RE A FUCKING TOURIST IN NYC YOU PIECE OF SHIT

lmao he’s just dropping this random hero person and letting him fall to his doom wheeeeee

remind me to leave all of the League of Villains’ texts on read for the foreseeable future. goddamn. I still love you guys but also, fuck you so damn hard

OHO A LIL RED SCALY BOI ISN’T DONE YET!!

real talk, just between you and me, I’ll lower my voice so that Kirishima can’t hear. so uh. we all agree that even if Kiri is fireproof and squishproof, that little can of tranquilizer juice technically shouldn’t have been, right? but we’re all going to hush and pretend like it was anyway for the sake of not spoiling his big moment. even though I am crossing my arms and tapping my chin with my finger while doubtfully glancing to the side

anyway here he goes!

YEAH KIRI GO GETTIM [stage whisper] there it is, in his pocket. should’ve burned. we won’t discuss it

OH FOR FUCK’S

TOGA YOU LITTLE WIENER BUT WHAT’S THIS ABOUT “MY HALF” NOW????

DID HE GRAB MINA’S MID-AIR?? IS HE REALLY REACHING INTO HIS BACK POCKET AND FUCKING UNZIPPING IT RIGHT NOW WHILE HOLDING ON TO NOTHING AND PRESUMABLY FALLING THROUGH THE AIR. DID A LITTLE BIT OF OCHAKO’S QUIRK RUB OFF ON YOU OR WHAT

OH SNAP SON HE REALLY DID THE THING HOLY SHIT???

AND TOKAGE FLEW OVER AND SAVED HIM AND NOW TANKS ARE SHOOTING AT MACHIA, LMAO WHAT IS THIS. MOMO HOW MANY GUNS DID YOU MAKE

Shouji standing there trying to be useful any way he can. are eyeballs really that much more effective if you make them the size of tennis balls and hold them up above your head. legit question, I don’t really know how eyes work

okay after 45 seconds of googling this my impression is that no, they are not. well good on you for giving it the old college try anyway though Shouji

oH MY GODLKDLK?!?!

DID SHE SAY WHAT I THOUGHT SHE SAID, DID SHE SAY MAJESTIC, ARE WE GONNA SEE MASJKESLTKCI DSFLKJL

oh my god he really is the Magic Man dude??? TIME TO DUST OFF MY INVENTORY OF ADVENTURE TIME QUOTES

(ETA: AHH FATGUM AND GANG ORCA ARE THERE TOO YESSSS!)

“that’s enough depending on some interns” oh, okay. now that they’ve done all your work for you. I see, I see

so now Gigantomachia is LITERALLY UNHINGING HIS JAW I can’t fucking believe this dude you guys. everything he does is just like, ARE YOU SERIOUS

please go to sleep already. thanks to you I have my keyboard set to capslock as the default for the duration of this chapter

ARE YOU SERIOUS YOU FUCKING WAITED UNTIL MAGIC FUCKING MAN SHOWED UP TO TEACH US MAGICAL LIFE LESSONS AND NOW YOU’RE CUTTING BACK TO THE TOMURA FIGHT?? WHY DO WE KEEP LETTING THIS MAN GET AWAY WITH THIS

oh my god you guys they really fucking did it

I guess that Howitzer slash fire punch combo really was that potent huh

anyway so now Endeavor is standing there making a big speech instead of reaching into Tomura’s pocket and taking the bullets that he doesn’t know about and shooting him with one asap. dammit Endeavor

aaaaand Tomura is firing back with the wisdom of Shimura Fucking Kotaro of all people

well you sure convinced me. damn I don’t know what I was thinking. heroes suck you guys. how dare they help other people all the time

so now he’s all “PERIOD, EXCLAMATION POINT!!”

take that Endeavor. you heard the man. it’s not destruction without conviction, as god as his witness he will have you know it is destruction WITH conviction. something something the great sage Shimura “I hurt my family for absolutely no reason at all, fuck this ‘helping others’ bullshit” Kotaro. I hope you packed your textbooks because you just got SCHOOLED. I hope the person who ordered you signed up for delivery notifications because you just got SENT. I HOPE YOU LIKE CAPITALISM BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT OWNED. I HOPE YOU CHOSE PAPER AND NOT SCISSORS BECAUSE YOU JUST GOT ROCKED

what an absolutely, unreservedly bizarre place to end the chapter lol. we’re really just done with this week, just like that. Majestic showed up and Gigantomachia opened his chin like a garage door and Tomura is all “you may have won the battle but you suck” while he buys time for Aizawa to suddenly sneeze or something so he can make his terrible comeback and continue Horikoshi’s Traumatize Every Kid in Class 1-A 2020 campaign. what an arc this is my friends. what an arc

[fullmarvelheart]

The Man From the Night

Pairing: Avengers x Enhanced!OFC

Word Count: 2,815

WARNING: swearing, angst themes of anxiety, such as panic attacks. Sexual assault is also, vaguely, mentioned as well. Please read at your own discretion.

A/N: Ooh your savior is here! Had to do that! But things are just getting interesting. Image is not my own, all rights to the owner. All mistakes are my own.

Series Masterlist

As I begin to wake, the first thing that greets me is a throbbing headache. Though, as I reach to help ease the pain, I find my arm being pulled slightly back from something attached to it. My eyes quickly shoot open and after blinking away the blurry fog that fills my vision, I see a metal cuff encasing my wrist, tying it to whatever hard surface I'm on. I go to pull it off with my other hand but find that restrained as well. I being to panic and take notice my surroundings.

The walls are filled with old looking wallpaper that's peeling off the walls, blank of any object. The air smells musty and damp. If I had been found by them, I know this isn't the place I'd wake up to. Still, that doesn't ease my fear.

I begin to thrash around, trying to loosen whatever is holding me down. To no avail, however. The noise must have notified my captors because I soon hear a pair of hurried footsteps echoing up some stairs. I inhale sharply when I feel his presence. The man who is not of Earth.

Realizing I had recovered my strength in my sleep, and by sheer adrenaline and instinct alone, I expel a force only where the shackles rest that send them flying through the walls of the room I'm in. Clumsily, I climb off the table as dizziness began to set in from the new and surprisingly intense task I preformed.

The door suddenly flies open and I find myself backing against the farthest wall, prepared to blow it out in case I need a quick escape. The man wears a smirk of amusement, but his body language holds a defensive stance, while his hand grips onto the door knob. He looks ready to strike at any given time. I put my guard up, silently cursing at the fact that I had no weapon near me if I needed one. Though, I do take this time to finally observe the guy.

I was right when I said he was tall. He stands at a height of what appears to be a few inches above six feet. His long raven-colored hair is slightly curly and some of it hangs lazily on the side of his face. His bright emerald green eyes are staring directly into my own blue ones. That smirk is still plastered on his face, though, his breaths come out rapid and uneven, as if he had just ran from somewhere. The stairs, duh... I wasn't able to get a good look at the rest of him as a voice interrupted my... um... observing.

"Are you finished staring at me, human?" His voice, smooth and heavily accented, one that sounds vaguely familiar to me. Though, I do not miss the condescending tone in his voice, and I dare not correct his mistake.

"Pfft! I wasn't staring." I sneer back at him.

"Then what would you call that?" He inquires as his smirk seems to grow.

"Analyzing." I reply quickly, almost too quickly.

He scoffs and rolls his eyes while crossing his arms. My eyes dare not to explore the being standing in front of me any further.

"Who are you?" I growl lowly, feeling defensive again. "Why was I locked up?"

Again, he rolls his eyes and I really want to punch him and just take my leave. In a split second he stands before me and I immediately plaster my hands against the wall, summoning my powers to them, draining any energy source nearby, other than him, that I could. He looks down slightly and I catch the faint blue of my ability reflecting in his eyes.

"I wouldn't do such a foolish thing. There is another mortal behind that wall, and judging by the way you acted earlier today, I think you wouldn't want any harm to come to them."

I think of his words before feeling for a presence behind the wall. Sure enough, he's right. I can feel the energy surge through the person's nervous system, and even their heart. But that doesn't mean I'd let him scare me into submission. Beings much scarier have in the past, and he isn't one of them. Instead of blasting the wall back, I flip my palms over and used the force collected to push him back away from me. He flies over the table I was chained to and I try to make a run for it. I'm almost at the door, when I feel a blade at my throat and my body being jerked back.

Our heavy breaths are the only thing filling the silence of the room. When he drops his guard seemingly thinking I submitted myself to him, I use my hand that's closest to his own to apply just the right amount of pressure to his wrist, causing him to drop the blade before my other hand catches it. I step out of his reach and point the blade towards him, still taking small steps back to create distance.

"I'm going to ask this again," I say in a voice heavy with adrenaline and caution. "Who the hell are you?"

He grins, menacingly, as he stepped towards me.

"Someone you don't want to mess with." Suddenly the knife vanishes and I let out a startled gasp.

Barely a millisecond later, I feel my body push my legs towards the open door in order to escape. However as soon as I do, I'm tackled to the ground. My head hits with a sickening thud, stars dance across my vison. I try to move but find my hands bound above my head and pressure on the lower half of my body. I open my eyes to find him hovering over me while holding my wrists in one hand, the other near my shoulder to keep him off my torso, and his legs holding down my own.

My heart starts to beat faster and my breath grows sharper as I feel myself reliving a nightmare. Tears prickle my eyes before I clench them shut while focusing on trying to stop the panic attack that is beginning to develop. The pressure on my wrist lessens as my breaths grow harsher and I feel my body trembling.

I can't stop it.

Words are being spoken above me, but I can't hear over the ringing in my ears or the sound of my quickening heartbeat. I try to not summon my powers but in my panicked state, I can't focus on controlling them. A few things burst around me, causing me to shriek in fear.

Suddenly I'm being lifted up and encased in a strong embrace. One hand is rubbing soothing circles on my back while the other one brushes through my hair.

"I'm sorry. Shh, you're ok. I won't harm you like that." A voice says above me.

My cries slowly turn to whimpers and things stop breaking. Pretty soon, it is just my trembling form being gently rocked by the being who holds me close. They continue to whisper calming words to me as my breathing began to even out.

"Are you quite finished?" The voice, his voice, asks rather annoyed, sounding completely different than he did moments ago.

I growl lowly to myself as I forcefully, by that I mean shakily, push myself away from the raven-haired man.

After getting up and not sparing a glance towards him, I walk over to a small table that was placed in the hallway. Glass shards and other debris littered the floor but I don't care about the wreckage around me. Using the table to prop myself up, I begin to grow angry, which slowly replaces the fear still coursing through my tired body. My fingers began curling into fists and my breath grows heavy with rage.

I'm pissed.

At the raven-haired man, but mostly at myself. It had happened so long ago yet it still constantly gets the better of me. Constantly! Everything they did does, and everything he did still remains a heavy burden on my mind.

"DAMN IT!" I scream, hitting the wooden table hard enough for it to go crumbling to the floor.

The man behind me chuckles.

"That was quite... the... s-show..." His words fade as I begin slowly taking the energy coursing through his cells, making him grow a little more tired with each passing moment.

He stumbles to the floor.

"I'll ask you. once. more." I growl through gritted teeth, slowly turning towards him.

"WHO ARE YOU?!" I roar, causing the man to flinch back, though tired.

"L-Loki, of A-Asgard."He breathes out.

Satisfied with the answer, I stop draining him, and with a flick of my wrist emitting a soft blue glow, he seems to be able to breathe again.

"Why was I chained up?" I sneer, though sounding significantly less pissed off than before.

"I-I do believe that it was you who attacked me first. Call it insurance."  He arrogantly says, bringing himself up to stand, though as if he was a newborn creature.

"It was you who came at me with daggers, after you created a... shadow... or whatever it was." I counter. "I was only defending myself." I say the last part quieter, feeling the adrenaline leave my system.

I groan in frustration before bring my hands to my face and sliding down the wall to sit on top of the now broken table.

"You know, you remind me of someone... when you lose your temper, that is." He comments with a sly smile that I miss. Though, I do hear him still stumbling slightly from the drain.

"Shut up!" I growl into my hands.

He scoffs.

"Why'd you bring me here?" I ask after a few moments.

I'm met with silence.

"What? Got nothing to say?" I snap, looking towards where he stands, leaning against the wall.

"Would you rather me leave you in the street with the spectacle you created?" He shot back.

It was my turn to be silent as I press my lips into a thin line and move my eyes to the floor. My mind began to swirl with the "what ifs". Those two dangerous word kept popping up in various scenarios. None of them good. They never are.

"Got nothing to say?" He mocks.

I shoot him a small glare before bringing my gaze back to the floor.

"Thank you, but only for getting me out of there." I say, barely loud enough for him to hear.

He grunts in acknowledgement and a peaceful silence engulfs the room. That is until the biggest spider I have ever seen in my whole damn life lands directly on my flats I had worn to work.

I squeal loudly and jump up in terror then proceed to fling the spider off my shoe. When it lands, it begins to run, though doesn't get far as my foot comes crashing down on top of it. I huff with rapid breaths before looking over to the man, Loki as I recall, to see his eyebrows raised and amusement lacing his features.

"Don't say anything." I quickly command to avoid feeling more embarrassment.

He raises his hands in mock surrender while slightly chuckling to himself, only for me to flip him 'the bird'. But now that the air between us is calmer, I take the chance to look around and get my bearings.

The air still smells musty, but it's now clouded with dust particles, and the walls still look worn and old. The wooden floors, cracked and falling apart. Old wallpaper hangs, peeling off the walls and a thick layer of dust rests on the undisturbed objects in the hall. If it were just those things, the place would look untouched and abandoned. However, because of my destruction, that's far from accurate.

Besides the broken table, all the various lights once hanging off the walls and ceiling have been blow up. Broken glass resides in the old walls, their jagged and sharp edges sticking out like clear knives. Other pieces lie littered over the floor. Bits of dry wall, where electrical lines ran along them, lay across the floor, the edges chard and smoking. Objects from the walls lie scattered over the floor as well, some broken while others are not.

I take a deep breath as I take in what I did, but I push the internal regret aside as I turn back to man that's looking at me apprehensively. This place has this familiarity to it, one that brings back not so good memories. So, I try to push it all back in the locked box I keep those things in.

"You live here?" I question with disgust, masking my inner turmoil.

"Well it looked a lot better before you happened. And it's the only place available for the amount of riches I had. Why must you Midgardians make things so ridiculously expensive?"

I let out a breathy chuckle as his grumbling is realistically funny.

"I wish I knew..." I murmur before a few moments of silence. "Tell me, what did you have in mind for after I woke up? Unless you were planning on keeping me chained up the whole time?" I sass while crossing my arms and shifting my weight to one leg.

"I hadn't gotten to that part of the plan yet before you woke up." He says with annoyance.

"Perfect..." I grumble. "Well... There's no way I'm staying here. I have my own home that needs to be attended to. But you aren't staying here either." I say sharply while starring the man down.

He sways slightly, eyes widened.

"Beg you pardon?" The disbelief in his tone has me smirk.

"Do you have anything here that's important?"

"Wha-wh-I..." I grin, seeming to catch him off guard.

"Well if you do, it won't go anywhere." I say marching up to him.

Before he has the chance to dodge my hand, I manage to collect enough energy, grab him, and teleport us to my living room. The smell of mint quickly surrounds me before it is replaced by the fresh sent of my home.

"Oh, this is so much better." I groan tiredly while flopping on the couch.

Finally, something comfortable...

"You weren't complaining about the remains of the table when you sat on that."

My eyes widen in shock. I just heard Loki's voice inside my head.

No! That's impossible!

"Not impossible, darling." He chuckles from somewhere in the room.

My mouth falls agape before I turn to look for him. When I find him, he's mumbling something before a dizziness sets in. I hold onto the couch for stability but still fall over, fading into the blackness.

~Loki's p.o.v~

Finally! Although the girl's abilities are extremely powerful, she is extremely naïve.

I smirk at this small mortal, but it quickly fades when I remember how she forced me to give her information, information I lacked in return. Or how she overwhelmed me with the feeling of exhaustion, one that's still very present. Or how she blocked me from her thoughts as she was calming down and right before she brought us here. The even more worrisome thing for me is that she didn't even know she did so, or rather, appeared not to know such things. Usually, blocking my abilities takes practice, training. All of which she clearly lacks. Her powers feed off of her emotions, I noticed. Such a pity. But her raw power is terrifying.

I begin to slowly walk around the place in which she brought us, perhaps her home. I look around for something to eat, as she left me quite tired and hungry. While I'm beyond shocked at how she brought me here, I am grateful. She wasn't wrong to be disgusted by my old lodgings, but I also felt her understanding of the situation. Which confused me even more than I already am. Her thoughts often betray her outward mannerism, creating this paradox to her.

As I wander, I notice the place is void of anything personal, besides her articles of clothing. There are no pictures that you'd expect to see in a Midgardian home. Not even an image of her. Ever her mug is a blank white. There is no personal touch in the place, it's rather... unnerving. If she didn't act so comfortable here, I would assume this was a random building.

I walk back to where she lay in order to wake her up. But as I get closer, I notice how comfortable she is, how peaceful. I noticed the dark circles under her eyes when I brought her back to my place. I had expected her to sleep longer, but she was out for barely thirty minutes.

Deciding she needs this, I exit the room and find a way to occupy myself and hopefully find something to eat.

Chapter 3

[xsilversprings]

Pokeshipping Week - Day Two.

Possessed/Evil Ash.

A cloud of black smoke invaded the room.

It canceled out sight altogether as it hovered in the air, preventing anything from being properly seen. Scuffling could be heard before a few coughs that followed it.

"Ash? Misty?" another cough. "You guys okay?"

Brock coughed again as he swung his arm in front of his face. He wasn't met with anything except his own growing confusion. He was quickly becoming dizzy in the head as well, trying desperately to make out anything he could in the thickness of the smoke.

"I'm fine," answered Misty as she stretched her arms out in front her. "Where's Ash?"

"I don't know."

Her hand knocked into Brock's arm, and she gripped onto it so that they wouldn't become separated again. The same look was on Misty's face through the thin layer of haze that hung between them. Both of them were then squinting while they looked around them, calling for Ash again.

"Ash? Come on Ash, this isn't funny." Misty frustratingly called out into the smoke. She waved her hand back and forth in front of her face, searching for him until an unfamiliar voice answered her.

"There is no Ash."

They both froze. The smoke evaporated. It lifted and cleared, leaving the sight of Ash left to them, all the way across the room. But it was a strange vision of him. Misty was on the verge of yelling and throttling the boy into next week, but quickly went from impatient to frightened and tense.

"Ash?" came the sound of her tiny voice. She could hear the quickening pace of their breath.

A low, deep chuckle was her response. One that was definitely not in Ash's voice. It was cold and dark, echoing off of the walls and trapping them just like the smoke previously had done.

Then he raised his head. The sight of it almost threw Misty off of her feet, and even Brock staggered back a step or two. A pair of black eyes were staring blankly ahead of him. Some kind of evil, twisted grin was plastered onto his face while he looked at them, somehow finding them in the emptiness of his gaze.

"He's possessed, Misty," came the breathless realization from Brock. He didn't know how it could've been possible, but that was definitely not his friend. "It's the box.. he opened the box!"

She was silent. Her eyes remained fixated upon him, lost between disbelief and fear of reality. The box that contained a dark force lay open with its ends sprung apart.

"Ash!" her voice raised despairingly as she chanced a step forward, but was prevented from doing anything further as Brock held her back by the arm.

"Don't!" he hissed in a whisper. "That's not Ash!"

Misty yanked her arm free. "What are we supposed to do?! We can't just leave him this way!"

"I'm afraid you don't have a choice." the force drawled out darkly, causing both of them to turn their attention back to him.

"The world you know is about to be conquered, now that I'm free. I've been locked for centuries and now it's finally time to unleash my power."

Misty traded a helpless look with Brock. Both of them were shaking with fear and anger, and even more anger from the fear that they couldn't do anything about. But it was Misty who couldn't take another word and started marching over to him before Brock could hold her back this time.

"Stop!" he called after her.

But Misty wasn't listening as she took a handful of his shirt and was ready to drive whatever it was, out of him. In whatever way she could. Or what she intended to do, anyway. Because Ash felt heavy enough against her hands that he may as well have been stone. She was immediately drained of strength, eyes flashing with confusion.

"Foolish girl," he whispered menacingly. "If you think I'm about to spare you or your friend, then you're sadly mistaken. I have enough power to erase an entire city. And once I have the control of every pokemon that's left, then no one will be able to stop me. Least of all, you."

Misty could feel the evil energy rolling off of his body in raw waves of anger. It was corrupting her senses worse than the smoke had, and she was unable to move. But before she could even think of trying to do anything next, Ash, or whoever this was, had her pinned to the wall by the arms.

"Misty!" Brock called from across the room again. He tried to move, but something held him back from doing so. But he was quicker to make the connection this time. "Let us go!"

Seething hatred lashed before her once again. Ash didn't turn around, but instead let his eyes linger on the redhead. Flames were almost dancing in his eyes.

"There's nothing you can do." he growled venomously. His words broke the anger in her eyes and turned into despair. Brock must have sensed it from across the room, because he was shouting to her in the next moment, hopelessness climbing into his voice.

"Don't listen to him!"

Brock sounded like he was miles away. Misty's eyes were glued to the image of Ash in front of her, unwilling to believe what she was seeing and hearing. Someone or something had as much of an unrelenting grasp of control over his body as much as hers in that moment. And it was the pain of being driven into the jagged wall that brought her back to attention, wincing as it became close to piercing through her skin.

"I know you can hear me, Ash." she whispered as tears began to fill her eyes. "Wake up and fight it."

He laughed and shook his head.

"You know nothing. And because of what you just tried to pull, I'll make sure that nothing will be all that's left of you. Both of you shall witness the great extent of my power for the first and last time."

It was after that declaration that one hand promptly found its way to her neck. Misty squeezed her eyes shut, using her free hand to try and pull it away from her, but to no avail. His grasp was too strong for her limited use of mobility. Brock was yelling at them, but it sounded even farther away now.

"Ashhh-shhhh..." his fingers curled around her neck even tighter. Tears began to slip down her face, falling onto the hand that held her. But then something happened. His eyes flashed from black to brown in a split second, slackening his grip in just that moment. It was only fleeting, however. And it wasn't long before her feet left the ground as he raised her from it.

He was trembling with rage now, holding her above the ground. "My vengeance will prevail, once and for all!"

"Ash..." her voice was a whisper as her struggles to escape were becoming weaker and weaker. And he was sweating, losing the breath in his own chest. Then he let out a loud growl of something that Misty was too disoriented to determine. But that was when she was suddenly flung aside to the ground, and he fell to it himself on all fours.

"Misty!" Brock shouted from across the way. She could hear him running as she took the air back into her. She was unable to vocalize anything just yet, and watched as the other was trying to recover from whatever that was. All she could make out in that moment was a cloud of black smoke expelling from Ash's frame and into the air. But it was Brock and his quick thinking of holding the box open toward the dark cloud, calling it back into seclusion.

"Misty!?" it was Ash's voice this time. And it were his frantic brown orbs that settled over her rattled form upon stumbling over to her. She was visibly shaken, eyes holding his own in a sense that pleaded for what she was seeing to be real this time.

"Misty!" he prompted a second time. He was at his knees in front of her, hands on both of her shoulders and completely disheveled. "Look at me!"

She coughed repeatedly. "Ash?" her teary gaze held his in suspicion, one of her hands placed over her neck. He nodded while Brock was looking over his shoulder and setting down the box as carefully as he could.

"It's me, I'm back. Are you alright?"

Misty waited a moment before answering. His hands were warm on her shoulders this time, and she was careful as she stood back up. Ash followed her every move without taking his eyes off of her. She was watching him back as if expecting him to turn back or speak in that forbidden voice again. But all that she could see in his eyes were fear, nervousness, and relief. Nothing changed or left the impression that it was going to.

But when neither one of those things happened, Misty chanced a step toward him. Ash was just beginning to smile when she suddenly swatted him across the arm.

"Hey!" he exclaimed in surprise. "What was that for?!"

"Don't you ever, ever, do that to us again!" Misty fumed. Steam was nearly pouring out of her ears. "You don't know how stupid you can be sometimes! Next time you know something is cursed, do us a favor and leave it be!"

Ash thought she was about to strike him in the arm again by the look on her face, but then was even more confused when she threw her arms around him. He slowly and fearfully let his own fall around her while keeping her in the corner of his eye. Then he flinched when she pulled back to look at him.

His shoulders dropped out of guilt. "I know, I'm sorry. I'm sorry to both of you. And I never meant to hurt you, Mist. You know I'd never do that."

Misty swallowed and nodded. Her own hands began to tremble as the aftershock of everything treaded on her nerves, and she was only vaguely aware that Ash had taken hold of them.

"You knew it was me, though." Ash couldn't help but grin. "You knew I was still awake."

"Of course I did." Misty sniffed and rolled her eyes before eventually wiping at them. Brock had walked back over to them by then, tired but smiling.

"Glad to have you back, Ash."

He grinned. "Thanks, Brock. It's good to be back."

The breeder slid his hands into his pockets. "What got it out, anyway?"

Ash shook his head. "I don't know. But I could see and hear everything it was doing. It was still me, but I wasn't in control for any of it. And then I saw what it was doing when..."

His eyes flicked back to Misty and he cleared this throat, deciding not to continue.

"I guess maybe I was able to gain enough of my control to kick it out."

Misty softened up slightly when she could see the genuine remorse in that split second glance. That's when she realized that he was still clasping one of her hands and felt a fleeting sense of embarrassment, but didn't draw it away.

"Yeah." she commented, barely audible. "Well.. I'm glad you're back, anyway."

She could see the corners of his mouth pick up in a smile. "I know you are. Me too."

Brock was looking between them both with a painfully restrained smile of his own, knowing exactly what it was that drove out the demon. But he kept his mouth closed about it.

"Well," Misty grunted softly after a minute. "All I know is that if you ever do that again, you'll have more to deal with then some power crazed, ancient lunatic."

He coughed a laugh and nodded. "Understood."

A ghost of a smile graced her features.

"Alright. Now let's get the hell out of here."

[justaramblingromantic]

superheroes need childcare benefits too

Characters/Pairing: Kobayashi Rindou, Tsukasa Eishi, Tsukasa Hi’en (OC)/EiRin

Type: Superhero!Family!AU, Freestyle

Word Count: 3071

A/N: Inspired by this post. 

This drabble has been sitting in my draft pile for a couple of months already, I think? I was fooling around with the random super power generator and decided to write out something with the results I got, just for fun. Was also in the mood to write cute baby things...so there was that, too, lol. 

The thing about being a superhero was that the benefits suck.

There were no such thing as paid leave or annual bonuses and the nature of the work was akin to voluntary military service to the country so it wasn’t exactly very high paying in the first place, either. In fact, it was something like an anonymous, part time obligation to society on top of juggling a ‘normal’ day job and whatever life issues and familial commitments the ‘normal’ population had to deal with…only maybe with a bit more explosions and dangerous, life-threatening events randomly thrown into the mix.

You get to meet all sorts of interesting people with interesting abilities too, and then, depending on their intentions and alignments, you try your hardest to incapacitate, or outright kill, each other. Fun times.

Rindou quite enjoyed it, actually. The thrill of living a secret double life. The excitement and unpredictability that came with every mission. And who would not enjoy being a superhero? Her partner was something amazing too, and they worked together seamlessly. Their abilities complemented each other extremely well, and after all the years of being paired together, their teamwork was one of the best in the country, for their rank and specialty type, even.

That was just as well, since they were partners in every meaning of the word. They had known each other from a young age and had only grown closer over the years, from teammates to best friends to lovers.

Recently, they had also become parents. And with parenthood, came responsibilities that both were suddenly acutely conscious of, towards the tiny young life that they had made together. Being reckless for the sake of having fun was no longer acceptable. They had to be more careful during assignments now, and for the moment at least, they had also agreed that both should not be going on call at the same time – one would remain at home on baby watch while the other was out performing their civic duty.

“Rindou.” Eishi’s calm, smooth voice spoke over the comm earpiece that she was wearing. “Are you heading home soon?”

“Mm,” she replied distractedly, concentrating on focusing her powers and directing them to work as she intended. Her abilities had always been a bit on the wild side and not very easy to control, and she constantly had to work on them so that they would not get the better of her.

It was a simple rescue mission this time. There was a serious collision between two freight vessels off the shores of Tokyo, just sitting on one of the major shipping routes. She had been activated by the agency because her powers were probably the most useful to deal with an incident of this scale involving huge mobile constructs. The crews of both vessels had already been evacuated and airlifted out of the scene so now it was her turn to flex her muscles and get down to business.

“Can you swing by the store for some milk and eggs on the way back? We ran out.”

“’Kay~” Slit gold eyes grew unnaturally bright as she concentrated, willing all her energy into intense mental focus. Visualizing the bright, glowing rope of power in her mind’s eye, she proceeded to grab firmly onto it and give it a mighty heave.

Just like that, the atmospheric pressure dropped, and the energy around her shifted.

Hovering midair over the vast ocean, a mere fifty feet above where the partially submerged cargo ships were rapidly taking in water and about to sink right in the middle of the high sea traffic zone, the redhead watched musingly as a couple hundred thousand tonnage of steel and freight creaked and groaned ominously as the absolute laws of physics were exerted on them…in an entirely unnatural way.

“Is there anything else that you want me to pick up, dear husband?” she asked cheerfully. She was in a good mood today, and for obvious reasons. The sun was shining overhead, the weather was great. All in all, it was a really nice day to be out and about, even if she had to help haul back to the bay two huge ass ships.

There was a pause, and then her significant other remarked. “You’re just really happy to be finally out of the house, aren’t you?”

Before Rindou could respond, a loud, unintelligible squawk transmitted through the earpiece, followed by what sounded like awkward, unsteady flapping. Both parents winced at the ringing, pitched cry.

“Is that En-chan? What’s he doin’? He sounds energetic.”

“Our son is sitting on my shoulder.” Was Eishi’s reply. “I think he’s screaming for you.”

She could not help but grin at the mental imagery of her somewhat ruffled mate having to stay at home wrestling with their quirky and unruly offspring. The baby was barely six months old but the rapid manifestation of his unique abilities meant that his parents never quite knew what to expect next when it came to him. Regardless, Rindou still thought that her son was the best thing since sliced bread. Eishi more or less rolled with the lofty opinion because he largely felt the same way ever since they handed him the squalling newborn straight out of the delivery suite.

“Geeze, he’s probably just hungry again. Feed him well, Tsukasa~!”

The semi-submerged vessels were no longer sinking. If anything, they were expelling water at an incredible, exponential rate, and starting to recover miraculously from their previous, badly listing conditions. Rindou kept a halfhearted eye on the ships, but her attention was caught more by the slight commotion coming from the other end of the line.

Eishi muttered. “He doesn’t want his bottle. I don’t think he’s even interested in milk right now.”

More indignant chirruping and belligerent rustling could be heard from the other end of the line. The older of the two also seemed to be having quite a time of it pacifying the younger one. “En, settle down. I know you hear her voice, but your mother’s not here.”

There was a querying, unhappy cry of what sounded like a young eaglet. By then, Rindou could not contain her curiosity any longer. Her son had been a normal human baby (a super cute, chubby cheeked one) when she had left the house, but apparently that was no longer the case. She would have been more worried as a mother if not for the fact that this peculiar occurrence happened too often for her to be alarmed anymore. In their household, this type of situation was only normal, when one’s offspring possessed the rare ability to randomly shapeshift.

“Eh? What did En-chan become this time? How come all the interesting things happen only when you’re home alone with him? That’s hardly fair at all!”

There was a brief pause as her husband struggled not to share his actual thoughts on the matter, which more or less amounted to how he would rather have preferred not to have anything interesting happen at all when he was left in charge of watching their only child. Because Hi’en was still very, very young and had no control whatsoever over his powers, the infant often randomly shifted into supernatural creatures that had only been heard of and read about in myths and legends. The first time it happened, the boy was only a couple of months old when he abruptly turned into a phoenix chick, and when the panicked parents found the young creature floundering about in their son’s cot, they had initially thought that someone had stolen their precious offspring only to replace it with this strange looking…scraggly, angry baby bird of unidentified origins…and that which could also random burst into fire.

The problem with their child being able to shapeshift into random mythical creatures was that when he was in those forms, feeding and caring for his needs became a unique challenge. Sometimes Hi’en would stay in one creature form for an hour at most before popping back to his sleepy human baby self, other times, he stuck with whatever form he was most comfortable with for days on end and that was when his parents abruptly realized that (mythical) animal husbandry had also became an important prerequisite when it came to parenthood. This time was no different.

Eishi observed his awkwardly flailing son, all wings, talons, feathers…paws, claws and tail. The wings on the back were still small and not yet fully developed, the feathers all fluffy brownish-bronze baby down and not even molting anytime soon. The body was that of a very young lion cub; soft russet gold fur still speckled with camouflaging spots and clumsy, tapering tail fat and stubby from infancy. The front limbs ended in raptorial, razor talons and the back limbs in feline paws and equally sharp pinprick claws. A fuzzy, aquiline face with beady golden eyes and a sharp hooked beak paid rapt attention to his male parent, who was squinting at the youngster just as discerningly.

Hi’en let loose a series of demanding chirrups and clumsily headbutted his father for attention. Eishi plucked the youngling who had insisted on climbing precariously onto his shoulder when he heard his mother’s voice earlier and cradled his cat-sized child against his chest, barely even flinching when the baby dug his tiny claws into his forearms for stability. The white-haired man balanced the cellphone between his ear and shoulder, distractedly replying Rindou even as he padded into the kitchen with the fussing cub in tow.

“I think he turned into a griffin this time.”

“…Huh. What do those eat?”

That was a very good question, and one which the young parents found themselves asking almost every other week these days.

In the background, the massive constructs that were the damaged shipping vessels were now floating lightly on the shimmering ocean surface, delicate as a pair of drifting feathers. Thanks to her abilities to manipulate gravity and air, sending the ships back to the shipyard for repair would be a breeze. Pun intended.

“Think the packet of raw chicken sitting in the freezer will work?” Rindou asked as she started to gather and shape the climate to obey her will. Her gaze turned upwards, watching the gigantic nimbuses roll in and dim the skies overhead. The barometric pressure quickly dropped further, and the ambient wind speed started to pick up. The previously calm, tranquil waters became more restless, choppy, though not turbulent enough to send the ships back down to the bottom of the ocean. Rindou exerted her will and steadily pushed.

The two vessels slowly started to move, the howling gale and reduced inertia enough to set them both limping in the direction of port. Rindou trailed her responsibilities closely, making sure that they would reach their destination with no unforeseen accidents along the way.

Back home, Eishi obligingly popped open the door of the freezer compartment and pulled out the cellophane wrapped tray of chicken. He presented it to Hi’en, who nudged at the Styrofoam curiously with his beak before recoiling from it with disdain.

“No?” he asked the little griffin. His son peered at him briefly with his slit gold eyes before deciding that his father’s shirt buttons were much more interesting. He started to peck at one of them, trying to pry it off.

“I’ll defrost and cut the meat into smaller strips to see if he wants it,” Eishi spoke into the phone, shutting the freezer door and setting the packet of chicken on the counter to thaw. “I think we should find that anthropology professor at the university again and seek his opinion, just in case.”

Rindou grimaced at the thought of meeting the suspicious, twitchy man once more. She was pretty sure that the man was starting to suspect that something weird was going on with the overly insistent couple who kept asking him overly specific questions regarding the diets and behavioral patterns of legendary creatures that should not exist.

“Alright, if you feel that’s gonna help.” An excellent idea struck her. “Maybe En-chan would want fresh seafood instead. I can rustle up a waterspout and bring some catch of the day home!”

“…Please don’t do that.” Eishi was quick to shoot down the idea before his mate could run wild with it. The last time she did something similar in a misguided attempt at domesticity while harboring delusions of a homemade dinner, it rained fish intermittently over the city for an entire day. “The agency frowns upon that sort of power misuse and we don’t have enough fridge space.”

Rindou grumbled. What use were her powers even if she couldn’t apply them for little things like that?

“Come home soon,” Eishi continued. Their child lifted his head from where he had been gnawing at his father’s shirt and chimed in with an accompanying series of inquisitive peeps and chirps. “We’re looking forward to your safe return.”

Despite her disgruntlement, Rindou’s cheeks warmed happily. “Then I shall, since you asked so nicely.”

When two beings with the recessive mutated genome that gave them unique abilities produce an offspring, it is virtually guaranteed that their progeny would inherit the same metamorphosed DNA sequence as well. However, just because that peculiar gene had been passed down from parents to child did not mean that the latter would end up with the same type of ultra-abilities that either parental units had. As such, having children when one possessed superpowers was very much like entering a lucky draw.

There is an implicit understanding that there will be a special prize, but what it is exactly or how useful it will be is something entirely up in the air until the child’s powers finally chooses to establish themselves.

Even before the birth of their son, Eishi and Rindou had already decided on his name out of two reasons.

The first was for bond. Both parents were distinct air types and spent so much of their time in the skies that they might as well have been born birds themselves. They had flown together, fought together, courted, loved. Their mutual joy, their steadfast devotion to each other… Hi’en was the precious culmination of all this happiness.

The second was for blessing. It was the parents’ sincerest wish for their firstborn that he would always be able to fly as far and as freely as he wanted to, just like a brave and lithe swallow, unfazed and unhindered by all the challenges that he would ever meet in life.

When Hi’en’s powers initially manifested in an unexpected way that turned him into a firebird, his parents wondered if they had perhaps named him a bit too aptly. Even though the kanji ‘Hi’ in his name translated to ‘flight,’ it also shared the same pronunciation for the kanji that denoted ‘fire.’  

Regardless of the fact that their child’s abilities bore no similarities whatsoever with theirs, his parents remained endlessly delighted and fascinated with their strange little chick. All of his little milestones and progresses Eishi noted down meticulously and Rindou cheered for with pride and glee. Hi’en was developing physically and mentally faster than the average infant, though in all likelihood it was because he was switching forms so often. However, all that growing was exhausting for the young baby, and so he ate a lot, and then he slept a lot.

When Rindou returned that evening, it was to a quiet apartment with the lights dimmed. There was a flickering glow emanating from the living room, and when she exchanged her shoes for indoor ones at the genkan and went down the hallway, she discovered that the source of light was from the television, the volume muted so that only the images were playing across the screen. Eishi was sprawled out in the middle of the couch strewn all over with toys, his eyes closed, faintly, halfheartedly humming a lulling song. Curled against his chest was a little ball of fur and feathers, and the little thing must have tuckered himself out after running his father ragged all day, for he barely stirred even when his female parent approached and sank onto the adjacent cushions.

Eishi cracked opened one eye, sleepy lavender meeting quietly amused gold.

“…Okaeri,” he greeted his mate softly. He wasn’t exactly his usual neat, immaculate self. It appeared that even possessing the ability of accelerated thought process was no match to counter the sheer unpredictability of a small but determined infant. Eishi’s hair looked like he had run his hands through it several times that evening alone, his shirt was missing some buttons and partially untucked, and there were unidentifiable stains on his jeans and also on his collar. She thought that he looked manly and attractive all the same, exuding responsible daddy vibes, very irresistible.

“Tadaima,” she mouthed back. Her hand came up, fingers brushing over his crown, trying to help arrange the unrulier locks into some semblance of order. “Looks like you had a nice time with En-chan,” she drawled innocuously, trying not to grin at his visibly disheveled expression. She petted his hair affectionately, at the same time leaning in to brush her lips against his jaw. “You’ve worked hard today, papa~”

He silently tilted his head against hers, his arms already occupied cradling their child. Rindou’s gaze lowered onto where Hi’en was quietly sleeping. His fuzzy little face was barely visible, tucked under one downy front limb as he continued to doze, his little torso gently rising and falling with the cadence of his deep, steady breathing. Just looking at her son made her very happy, regardless of what form he chose to take. He was safe and protected, he was perfectly healthy, and he was growing up well. That was all that mattered.

“…Ah. I forgot the milk and eggs.”

Eishi’s eyes had closed again, and he leaned just a little more into her before she could move away.

“Let’s do that tomorrow… Stay.”

…So maybe she wasn’t the only one who felt a bit lonely now that they wouldn’t be able to take missions together, at least not in the immediate future.

She snuggled down beside him, this boy she loved first long before he gave her another to dote on and adore. Their family might be small and there were also times when it felt like they had no idea what they were doing, but to her, this was perfect.

“’Kay.”

Eishi: Accelerated Thought Process, Mid-Air Combat

Rindou: Gravity Manipulation, Primordial Air Manipulation

Hi’en: Mythical Bestiary, Electric-Fire Manipulation

Chouko: Faithifery, Existence Sense

[therainroguefanfiction]

🔥 ℝise Ⱥbove I̾t ◈ Chapter 010 [Unfairness]

📑 Table of Contents | ◂Backward

Word Count: 2,552 ☁

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

〈“There’s a demon inside. Just like Jekyll and Hyde. All this anger inside.” Five Finger Death Punch, “Jekyll and Hyde”〉

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

I could feel a presence hovering over me. “Don’t even think about it,” I muttered, opening my eyes to glare at Toshi. His hand was hovering by my cheek, ready to smack me awake.

“Oh, you’re already awake?”

“Unfortunately,” I muttered, rising up like a corpse from a coffin. “I barely slept.”

“Excited?” he grinned.

“Something like that,” I glanced at the clock as I stood up, heading for the bathroom.

“I must be going!” he called. “I will see you at school!”

I flushed the toilet, heading over to the sink to wash my hands. Man, I look like shit. I splashed my face with cold water, hoping it would help to wake me up. Toshi was gone by the time I made it back to the couch. My phone buzzed on the table and I grabbed it, glancing at the clock again. It was only five o’clock and class didn’t start until eight-twenty-five. I took a shower last night so I just had to brush my teeth and get dressed. The phone buzzed again, then again a minute later.

With a scowl, I opened up the gaming app. There were five messages, all from Murder and sent within the last twenty minutes.

‘Oi, extra’

‘Wake the fuck up’

‘I cant sleep’

‘ARE U FUCKING IGNORING ME’

‘ILL KILL U BITCH’

Damn, this kid has some serious anger issues. I settled down under the covers, putting on my headphones and turning on some rock music before replying to him, ‘Keep ur damn panties on. I can give u the name of a good therapist seems like u need 1’

‘Fuck u’

I laughed, ‘When is ur bday? I can send u a diary to vent all that repressed anger fam’

‘FUCK U TACO!!’

I laughed again, tossing my phone onto the table. I closed my eyes, intending only to relax for a bit and listen to some good vibes, but the rock music thumping in my ears lulled me back to sleep.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

I winced at the bright light shining directly on my fucking eyes. I really hate those sheer curtains. I pulled the headphones off my head and yawned, reaching for my phone. Eight o’clock. I yawned again, standing up and stretching my arms above my head. I hope there’s some Dr. Pepper left. I need to stop by the store after… school…

My eyes widened as the realization hit me.

School, fuck! I’m gonna be late on my first fucking day! Tosh is gonna murder me, ugh! I got dressed as fast as I could and ended up stubbing my big toe on the fucking coffee table which received an angry kick in retaliation, flipping over onto the floor with a loud thud. I grabbed my phone, shoved my feet into my sneakers and rushed out the door, only to rush back halfway down the stairs because I forgot to fucking lock the door.

It was eight-twenty-one when I made it to school.  I stifled a yawn, tugging at the red tie around my neck. Every school I had ever attended was a public school with barely any rules regarding clothing – as long as no one showed up naked, anything was fair game.  Being stuffed into this stupid ass uniform made me feel uncomfortable and even a bit claustrophobic, but at least Toshi had convinced Nezu to let me wear the boy’s uniform. I’d fucking drop dead before getting caught in that short ass skirt the girls have to wear.

“You’re late,”

I turned around and deadpanned. Aizawa was standing in front of me, his body completely hidden within a yellow sleeping bag, save for his face which was framed by fluffy black hair. “What the fuck are you wearing, Aizawa? That can’t be the proper apparel for a teacher.”

“‘Sensei,’” he corrected, hopping down the hall like a bunny.

I followed, stuffing my hands into my pockets. “Do you know how stupid you look, though?” When he sent me a glare, I added, “Asking for a friend,”

“Can you at least pretend to take this seriously?”

Bitch, I ain’t the one hopping around in a sleeping bag, okay. I shrugged at him, looking away from his penetrating gaze. “Hey, Aizawa.”

“What,”

“I’m sorry,”

He stopped hopping, but I continued on, rounding the corner. A boy with a mop of messy green hair and a bright red face stood in front of the open classroom door, a round-faced brunette girl geeking out about some punch or some shit. One-Punch Man? Did that even exist in this world? I should head to the book store and see, cause that manga is lit.

I stopped in my tracks, feeling dread settle in my stomach. Wait, maybe it’s just because I didn’t eat breakfast. I noticed movement by my feet and sweatdropped at Aizawa as he inched along the floor like a fucking worm, stopping behind the two. No one noticed him until he spoke up, and the look of horror on their faces was priceless.

“If you’re just here to make friends, then you can pack up your stuff now. Welcome to U.A.’s hero course,” he sighed deeply, tugging down the zipper just enough so he could drink from a pouch of juice.

Aizawa, you’re a literal child and I fucking love it.

He stood up, pushing the zipper down the rest of the way so he could step out of the bag. “It took eight seconds before you all shut up, that’s not gonna work. Tims is precious. Rational students would understand that.” He waved his hand to me and I entered the room, glancing at the seating arrangement pinned to the board.

I’m in the very back row, an odd number. Guess that makes sense. I threw my bag onto my chair before leaning against the desk, my eyes scanning the room. I didn’t recognize anyone but two people. The first is Fumi, who wasn’t paying attention to me. And the second was that damn prep from the exam. Damn, why did he have to be put in this class?

“Hello, I’m Shouta Aizawa, your teacher.” He dug around in the bag and pulled out a gym uniform.

Okay, seriously – what is with the U.A. staff and having endless space? First, it’s Granny with damn endless gummy bear supply and now this fucker with an endless amount of space in a sleeping bag.

“Right, let’s get to it. Put these on and head outside.”

The students hesitantly headed to the locker rooms to get changed into the new uniform, which looked like something you’d wear to the gym. The first thing I did was check to see if the pants had pockets.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

Aizawa looked over the group, looking as if he wanted to be anywhere else but here. “We’re going to be doing a quirk assessment test,”

“But… what about orientation?” The brunette asked. “We’re going to miss it!”

“If you really want to make the big leagues, you can’t waste time on pointless ceremonies. Here at U.A., we’re not tethered to tradition. That means I get to run my class however I see fit. You’ve been taking standardized tests most of your lives, but you never got to use your quirk in physical exams before. The country’s still trying to pretend we’re all created equal by not letting those with the most power excel. It’s not rational. One day, the ministry of education will learn.”

That’s pretty deep, fam. I closed my eyes and grabbed my chin. I guess in a way it makes sense. It’s like participation trophies back home. Even if you didn’t do jack shit, you still got a trophy for participating, so even if you lost you still ‘won’. It prevents kids from trying their hardest to reap the rewards.

“Bakugo, you managed to get the most points on the entrance exam.” He looked at the red-eyed blonde. “What was your farthest distance throw with a softball when you were in junior high?”

“Sixty-seven meters, I think.”

“Right. Try doing it with your quirk.” His eyes followed the blonde as he stepped into a circle drawn onto the earth with white chalk. “Anything goes, just stay in the circle. Go on, you’re wasting our time.”

“Alright, man. You asked for it.” Bakugo stretched his arm, clutching the modified softball. “DIE!!” The ball took off into the sky with an explosion propelling it.

Damn, son. That was a bit excessive but mkay.

“All of you need to know your maximum capabilities.” Aizawa’s phone beeped. “It’s the most rational way of figuring out your potential as a pro hero.” The screen on his phone showed 705.2 meters.

I whistled, folding my hands behind my head. That’s kinda impressive. I wonder how far I can throw it?

“Woah, 705 meters, are you kidding me?”

“I wanna go! That looks like fun!”

“This is what I’m talking about. Using our quirks as much as we want!”

Aizawa narrowed his eyes. “So this looks fun, huh?”

Oh boy, he’s about to get all dramatic again, ain’t he?

“You have three years here to become a hero. You think it’s all going to be games and playtime? Idiots,” He smirked, but it looked kinda sadistic. “Today, you’ll compete in eight physical tests to gauge your potential. Whoever comes in last has none, and will be expelled immediately.”

Called it.

Everyone started to freak out at the statement and I sighed, looking up at the clear blue sky. I had grown to know this man pretty well after spending every single day with him for months and I had no doubt in my mind that he would expel anyone he deemed unworthy. It sounds cruel, but I know he has his reasons, whatever the hell that was. I feel like, more than anything, he’s just trying to ruffle some jimmies. And it’s working.

“Like I said, I get to decide how this class runs.” He pushed back his bangs with his hand. “Understand? If that’s a problem, you can head home right now.”

“Pfffttt,” I tried so fucking hard to hold back my laughter, I really did, but the bitch looked like a little kid trying to act tough to intimidate someone older. He snapped his glare to me and I quickly turned my back to him, trying to control myself.

“Is there a problem, Winchester?”

The way he said my name told me that I was definitely going to get hit later. I coughed a few times, banging on my chest before turning around with my hand covering my mouth. “Ah, no, not at all, sensei.” cough cough. “Sorry, I’m recovering from a cold, don’t mind me.”

The other students were staring at me with a mixture of disbelief and amusement.

“Wait a minute, you can’t send one of us home!” The brunette exclaimed. “I mean, we just got here! Even if it wasn’t the first day, that isn’t fair!”

Oh no. She said the F word.

“Oh, and you think natural disasters are? Or power-hungry villains, hm? Or catastrophic accidents that wipe out whole cities? No. The world is full of unfairness. It’s a hero’s job to try and combat that unfairness. For the next three years, U.A. will throw one terrible hardship after another at you. So go beyond -”

“Plus ultra style,” I stepped forward with a grin, locking eyes with him. I had heard the ‘fairness’ speech before, shortly after we started training together. He hated it when I used that word against him, and he always repeated the same thing each time, drilling it into my head that the world just isn’t fair. That isn’t something parents tell kids when they can’t have their way, it’s a real, life lesson that kids gotta learn the hard way.

He nodded at me, the corners of his lips twitching. He totally almost just smiled. “Show me it’s no mistake that you’re here. Now then, we’re just wasting time by talking. Let the games begin!”

“Jen~!”

I turned just as my vision was overtaken by a black and purple blur. My eyes widened, body seizing with fear as I remembered the darkness surrounding me. My breathing grew heavy as Gramp’s lifeless face flashed in my mind, my body beginning to shake as my skin grew hot. I could hear muffled voices, but only one stood out to me.

‘I have come to bring you home, Jen Winchester.’

“Jen!”

A familiar feeling settled over my body, like someone had slammed the door shut before my power could escape. My vision started to focus, settling on Fumi who stood in front of me in a defensive posture. Shadow hovered behind him, tears in his eyes as he stared at me in fear. I glanced to the left, scanning the scared and wide-eyed expressions of my classmates. And then I met Aizawa’s red, glowing eyes. He’s using his quirk… on me?

The block on my power ceased and Aizawa speed walked over to me. I let out a breath I didn’t realize I was holding, a small puff of smoke escaping my lips. My body was trembling, the pendant around my neck like a block of ice against my skin. He put a hand on my arm and helped me to my feet. When had I fallen to the ground?

“Go see the old lady,” he ordered into my ear.

“What? But – the test -”

“You don’t need to take it, just go.”

“I-I’m fine, really, Aiza -”

“I wasn’t asking,”

“Sensei, I can take her.” Fumi’s posture relaxed a bit as he stepped forward.

Aizawa was quiet for a moment. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,”

Fumi held his hand out to me and I hesitantly took it, feeling confusion bubbling within me. Did I… try to attack Fumi? But why the fuck would I?

He gently tugged on my hand, leading me toward the school building. I could feel everyone staring at us as we left and I just wanted to disappear. When we stepped into the building, he turned to me with soft eyes. “Are you okay?”

“Did I… try to hurt you?”

“I’m not quite sure…” He held his hand up to his mouth. “I believe Dark Shadow startled you and you blacked out temporarily. Your quirk may have activated as a self-defense mechanism.”

“Did you get hurt?” My eyes scanned his body, but he looked unharmed.

“No, I’m perfectly fine. You just startled Dark Shadow.”

Great, I’ve got fucking PTSD now because of that stupid ass shadow man. I put my hand on my face and huffed. “Sorry, Fumi…”

“No need to worry. Dark Shadow shouldn’t have rushed at you like he did.”

“I’m really sorry…” Shadow mumbled sadly, sticking close to Fumi’s shoulder.

I forced a smile, holding my hand out to him. He looked at it for a moment, looked at Fumi, and then back at my hand. Slowly, as if not to startle me again, he placed his clawed hand on mine. His cold body was calming against my warm skin. “Forgive and forget?”

He nodded happily, rushing toward me only to stop and shake his head. He approached slowly, nuzzling his head against my shoulder. I smiled for real this time, patting him before we continued on to the nurse’s office in comfortable silence, Shadow lingering between us.

⊱ ────── {⋅. 🔥 .⋅} ────── ⊰

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[spinjitzu-comics]

Lloyd Garmadon Headcanons

My headcanons for The Child™ Lloyd, as requested by that anon who asked who my favorite Ninjago character was.

Bear with me on some of these because I’ve only watched up to the end of S5 (they don’t have anything past that on Netflix) and I dunno much about the later seasons past Hands of Time involving some serious timeline bullshit of Homestuckian proportions.

Sometimes he has nightmares where his dad is accusing him of betraying him and yelling at him for sending him to the Cursed Realm. He wakes up sobbing and usually with a lightbulb blown because his powers surged while he was dreaming.

The first time he ever kills someone, he doesn’t think much of it at the time. But when the reality of what he did sets in after the adrenaline fades, he locks himself in his room for a week and refuses to talk to anyone. He’s never really the same afterwards.

He hates it when people treat him like a child, but he also hates being given too much adult responsibility.

“Kai I don’t care if I was 10 when I met you I’m mentally a teenager dammit don’t treat me like I’m little.”

“SENSEI I AM LITERALLY LIKE 12 WHY ARE YOU ACTING LIKE I’M AN ADULT I CAN’T EVEN DO CALCULUS AND REMEMBER TO FEED THE FISH LET ALONE TAKE CARE OF THIS PLACE BY MYSELF FOR A WEEK”

When he’s depressed, he’s extremely self-destructive in one way or another. Sometimes it’s actual self harm, others it’s self neglect like not eating or sleeping.

He’s less likely to cut himself than he is to purposely give himself bruises.

His least self-destructive tendency is working out excessively, until he strains his body so much that he can’t move for about 15 minutes.

He color codes his clothes most of the time, but sometimes he just can’t can’t be bothered to or he doesn’t feel like wearing green so he’ll wear dark jeans and a black jacket or hoodie.

Sometimes he thinks about Morro and wonders if he would have ended up the way he was if Wu had warned him that there was a chance he wasn’t really the Green Ninja.

He also thinks about all the things that Wu doesn’t tell any of them until its too late and it makes him really mad.

He cries every time he thinks about his dad for more than 5 consecutive minutes.

Kai is his best friend in the whole world but sometimes he really resents him and he can’t figure out why.

He looks up to Zane and/or Nya as sort of pseudo-mother figures when his own mom isn’t around.

He’s really good at drawing and painting but he prefers not to because he thinks people will take him less seriously if they find out.

His preference is nature drawings, namely vines and flowers because he can repeat patterns and such and he finds it calming.

He prefers to paint when he does do anything artsy, and usually uses watercolors.

When he draws/paints anything other than flowers/vines, he tends to do portraits of people in oil pastels. So far he’s got portraits of his mom, dad, Kai, Zane, and Cole... He’s planning on drawing Wu, Jay, and Nya at some point too.

He holds grudges like a boss... But only against people who deserve it.

That said, he can be incredibly petty if he wants to be and there are a few boys from Darkley’s that he has grudges against for things like “he looked at me funny”.

He was kicked out of Darkley’s for “lacking the motivation to be a villain” (canon), but in reality he didn’t really want to be evil, he just wanted to be able to make his dad proud of him, which is why he kept trying even after he was expelled. If he had really wanted to be evil, he probably could have taken over Ninjago in half the time it took his dad to attempt it.

No matter how old he is or what universe he’s in, he always has a sweet tooth. Always. He just learns how to control himself after a while.

In same-age AUs, his friendship with Kai has the very real possibility of turning into something else due to how close they are and how compatible their personalities are.

It’s still possible in the main/canon timeline, but it’s less likely because even if he liked Kai, Kai would probably be incredibly hesitant due to Lloyd really being so much younger than he is and Lloyd wouldn’t want to make him uncomfortable.

He lowkey thinks that Cole and Jay are secretly gay for each other.

He also thinks they both might be a little gay for Zane.

Loud noises and big crowds make him uncomfortable, but absolute silence and total loneliness terrify him. He has a hard time finding a proper balance of sound/silence and the right amount of people.

When in a situation where he has to sit still for long periods of time, he spends the majority of it bouncing his knees, drumming his fingers on stuff, and chewing on the insides of his cheeks and on his bottom lip.

In modern/real world AUs, fidget cubes are his best friends.

In the High School AU, Lloyd is outwardly sarcastic and sassy to everyone around him, but below that salty exterior he’s actually a really sad and vulnerable kid.

He’s super sensitive, too, but he’s trained himself to hold in his emotions until he’s alone.

Any time he’s criticized or yelled at, he cries.

If someone calls him out on how he acts, he gets hurt deep down but externally tells them something that rhymes with “Duck Glue”.

When he finally reaches his “rebellious teenage phase” he ends up with a really foul mouth for a couple months but grows out of it. He still drops the occasional F-Bomb from time to time but mostly he manages not to curse.

When the day finally comes that Sensei Wu dies, all the ninja are utterly devastated. Lloyd is the only one who doesn’t collapse into emotional turmoil, remaining, for the most part, outwardly calm.

Kai takes it entirely the wrong way and explodes on him about it, saying a lot of things that he later regrets very much. (”You don’t even care, do you?” “I guess I should have expected something like this from Garmadon’s son.”)

Lloyd locks himself in his room afterwards and doesn’t come out until Cole talks him into coming out to eat something because he’s hungry. He spends a few weeks being entirely apathetic to Kai but eventually their relationship recovers and they go back to being bros.

When he gets frustrated he spars with Cole to take out some of his aggression. It works pretty well for both of them because they can both fight almost at their peak without having to worry too much about hurting each other.

Somehow, some way, he still has a little bit of his Golden Power locked up somewhere. He knows it’s there but refuses to try and use it because the longer he leaves it alone the more it starts to replenish itself. He kind of hopes that one day he’ll have it all back, but even if he did he’d only use it in extreme situations.

Some of the Devourer’s venom did get passed on to him, but his Golden Power and status as the Green Ninja kind of quash down the “evil” aspect of it, making it surface mostly in small ways.

When he gets really, really, really mad, his eyes turn red.

He has little fangs and whenever he’s so mad his eyes turn red, they get bigger and sharper.

He’s a really good liar because hey you know snakes are deceivers.

Also his whole grudge-holding thing? That’s another thing caused by the venom.

Movie Lloyd (Luh-loyd) has some severe depression, anxiety, and abandonment issues that are constantly perpetuated by Garmadon being an huge deadbeat.

Every time Bad Blood played in the trailer it was because Luh-loyd was thinking it because he’s secretly a meme lord.

If Lloyd and Luh-loyd ever met, Luh-loyd would probably resent the fact that Lloyd’s dad actually knew his name and cared about him, but then would immediately feel bad about it when he finds out that Garmadon is Garmadead.

Okay seriously I have more but I think this is more than enough for one post.

[sarahcassellsuniverse-blog]

A Hidden Pain

Stress. 

The word conjures up so many different images. A heavy workload, a tough boss. A new baby, a new house. A heartbreak, grief, a loved one that’s ill. Even exams, schoolwork. Body image. The list is endless. 

The modern world is a hive for stress and anxiety. With pressure coming from all sides it’s little wonder that so many people will suffer from both at some point in their lives. 

The sad thing is, there are few who realise the strength of the illness when it hits. It can be completely debilitating, and excruciatingly painful. Tiredness, aches, sickness, swinging emotions and headaches, it can be a rollercoaster ride for the sufferer and those who have to sit and watch, knowing they can do nothing to help.

I have never hidden my anxiety, but I’ve never spoken that honestly about it. It’s still quite a taboo subject, but it’s the key to understanding it, that’s important. The thing to understand is that it can strike anyone, at any time. You don’t have to be a life long sufferer to still go under a few times in your life. It all depends on what’s happening to you. 

I’m speaking about it now because I’ve recently suffered a bad bout. I know my triggers, which helps you when trying to recover. I’ve been having a few problems at work, which I didn’t realise were affecting me so badly. Anyway, the prospect of going back this week seemed to trigger a bad reaction, and boy was it. 

Shivers, aches and pains grip your body until you no longer have control. All your limbs feel far too heavy, and you can barely think to move. I say think, because you can document the process by which you are trying to move. My brain would think - you need to move that arm now - but your thought was going nowhere, and the arm stayed put. It’s pure paralysis, and it’s terrifying. 

I tend to vomit a lot when I’m stressed. It’s one of the only ways I can expel how I feel. Sometimes it makes me feel better, other times I just can’t wait for it to stop. It usually happens when I agitate myself to such a temperature I have no other option but to run for the toilet, or the bucket, as has been the last few days. 

All you want to do is lie in bed. You have no motivation, no desires, no appetite. And it’s a vicious circle. Because you have no will to change your circumstance or situation. No will to fight the bully that is harming you. No will to make changes that will benefit you. And so you spiral deeper into the black hole. 

The hardest thing for me, is watching my loved ones watch me. Because they can’t help me, and that is all too obvious on their face. They try, offering meals, kind words and cuddles just because they love you. They know you’re going to cry before you do, and they’re already waiting. 

They wait, like you do, for the storm to pass. Because it will. Your body can only stay in that heightened state for so long. And one day you’ll slowly start to feel better. You’ll feel a bit more hopeful. You’ll be exhausted, but you will slowly regain your strength. 

You’ll go back outside. You’ll speak to people. You’ll walk around in the daylight and the fresh air. People’s voices will seem too loud. Your eyes will feel like they are constantly adjusting. And your head will swim. 

But it will clear. And you will start to eat again. You may start to smile again. You may even start to laugh. And your loved ones will see you come back to them. Even if it’s just for a little while.

So I’ve got some tips that help me, and some tips for the helpers. They may not work for you. You will find your own things that calm you down, or get you back to normal. But it needs to be something you choose. Because only you will know how that makes you feel.

1. Breathe

It may seem like an obvious one, but that’s because it’s the one that works. When you’re starting to lose control, and you feel like you’re losing your body, you need to regain some power. And that comes from your breathing. It’s the only sure thing that you can concentrate on, that is always with you. Count down, or up. In and out. Whatever works for you. But focus on becoming mindful of your breathing, and you will find that your body slowly starts to calm down. Useful for panic attacks, nausea and short bursts of anxiety, concentrating on your breathing can make all the difference.

2. Relax

It’s tempting to try and fix your situation when you’re in this state. To get back to work, to apply for new jobs in a desperate bid, to make grand ambitions that you just do not have the manpower to do right now. The most important thing to do is listen to what your body is telling you. You need to rest, you need to take the pressure off and give yourself a break.

3. Listen to music

Music is a biggie of mine, and I haven’t really been listening to it lately. Probably why I’ve become a bit agitated lately. Choose something which has some good connotations, something easy, something empowering, whatever makes you feel good.

4. Read a book.

Books are a great way to escape your problems, even just for half an hour. Just take some time to visit another world, to be in the company of other characters, and forget things for a while. You’d be surprised how much it calms you down. 

5. Let your loved ones look after you

It’s tempting to push your loved ones away when you feel like this. You’re going to feel worthless, probably haven’t put any make up on or had a wash in the last few days. And it is important to be selfish, in the nicest sense of the word. Your priority during this time is you. You shouldn’t be worrying about anything but trying to get better. But when they’re trying to help, you should let them. Let them feed you, even when you don’t want it. Let them bathe you, even though you don’t feel well. Let them hold you, even when you know you’ll cry. Remember, they love you. No matter how little you love yourself. 

Tips for helpers

1. Feed them

Your stressed individual is unlikely to want to feed themselves. Whether it’s lack of appetite, the effort of making it, or a dodgy tummy, they’re not going to want to bother with food. So offer them little things when you can. If they say no, they say no. But watch for that little spark that might mean they’ve perked up at a certain suggestion. 

2. Don’t get bogged down.

It’s hard to watch someone you love suffer. I’ve been on both sides, and they’re both just as difficult as each other. You have to remember to look after yourself. Go to work, see your friends or family. You don’t have to be there 24/7. Just be there when you can. Try not to get lost in a dark atmosphere. It is difficult to separate yourself, but it is imperative that you do.

3. Distract yourself and them.

Stick on a funny film, a comedy series or a drama that will just get you both blubbing. You don’t have to ostracize yourselves from society. If you think your person is up to it, ask them, take them to meet family or friends, or venture out for a little bit, even if it’s just for a walk. 

4. Don’t take it personal

The mood swings can be the hardest for the carer to deal with. When they want to be alone, or are angry, don’t want to be fed, don’t know what they want to do, try not to take it personally. Sometimes they really don’t know, and you can be sure they are wracked with guilt minutes after they’ve said something they shouldn’t. It’s hard, but try your best to keep a positive head, and know that they will come back to you.

5. Stay Positive

It’s easy to get dragged down by constant stress or anxiety. But you must try to stay positive. For yourself and your loved one. All you can do is be there for them. That’s how you will make it better. Not by fixing anything, not by pushing, not by abandoning. Just listen, love, and care. I promise, that’s enough. 

I’m feeling a lot better now, except I’ve come down with a nasty cold. Hooray. For now, the sunshine is out again, and there’s hope. Always remember that. And this - IT WILL PASS. 

I promise.

x