#and he IS improving so much i am really really looking forward to seeing where we can take his writing as he goes on

[justinefrischmanngf]

i teach this kid usually twice a week and he's a bit of an asshole sometimes, but we're slowly building up a relationship and his writing is really improving and it's genuinely such a joy to see. i told him yesterday that i was really enjoying reading his writing as it became more detailed and he asked if that was a good or a bad thing so i told him that it was a really good thing, i liked what he was writing and that he was becoming much more clear in it and it was cool to be able to see his writing form. and this kid, this fucking kid trying not to look pleased because that's uncool i guess, but the excitement and pride and happiness that crept into his voice after that, it's one of the most beautiful things about teaching

[vrystalius]

Hihi! Firstly, I love your writings. For English not being your first language, I would not have guessed. Your English is brilliantly used and translated throughout. Secondly, I did have an ask, but I do want to put it out there that I am only now finishing the Hashira Training Arc. (Also, thank you for the heads up on the Sanemi post about it being after Infinity Castle...I have it marked to read after I get through that Arc :D ). Okay, so actual ask: Ahem, could I possibly ask/somehow con you into doing a short or head cannon with either Sanemi or Kyojuro having an s/o with confidence anxieties; like a family that always told them they would never be good enough kind of thing? If this is a no, no worries. It's kind of darker so I get it but I was just curious. Thank you for your works and your time. I look forward to reading your new things as they come :)

❔Confidence issues

You have don’t have enough confidence to become a swordsman. What does your S/O think?

Note: Thank you so much for requesting and liking my works! Compliments like these really make my day <3 I hope you don’t mind that I added Yorichii. You didn’t tell me about kind of confidence anxieties you’d like me to write about, so wrote it about becoming a swordsman against your family’s wishes and them disapproving heavily. I hope you enjoy anyway!

Pairing: Sanemi, Kyojuro, Yorichii x gn!reader

(Heavy Spoilers for Yorichii’s backstory in Yorichii’s part)

💚 Sanemi Shinazugawa 💚

What? You don’t have the confidence to become a demon slayer? Seriously? You’re one of the most talented slayer- no- person Sanemi ever met! And you dare to doubt your own abilities? C’mon now.

“The fuck are you even talking about? Are you serious right now?”

Sanemi is feeling a mix of utter confusion and anger towards you for being insecure. He’s seriously baffled at where you even got the idea of from. Whatever you did amazed him: your fighting, your clothes (even if you are wearing the uniform, it just fits you much better than anyone else), your breathing style, your hobby, the way you walked or even talked to him, in his eyes you are beautiful and amazing.

He’d confront you about it. Where’d you get this idea even from? But after finding out that your insecurities mainly were because of your family’s nagging and disapproval, Sanemi got furious. You’ll need to either talk him out of beating your relative’s ass or hold him back by tackling him to the ground and THEN talk him out of it.

Now, from this day on, Sanemi will try his best to make you more confident in yourself. In his eyes, you are the most perfect and talented person. Sanemi feels like he should the one who should feel insecure. You’re so patient and understanding with him and you manage to calm him down by just simply touching his arm, it’s almost embarrassing. You are so absolutely gorgeous to him in every way. He feels like he doesn’t deserve you in any way.

Sanemi is not the biggest fan of you wanting to join the Demon Slayer Corps, but he’ll encourage you to keep training and fighting anyway. He’ll make time in his day to train you personally and to spar with you, making sure to point out your improvement.

“Hey, you’re even faster than yesterday! Keep this up and you’ll beat my ass in no time! You’re doing great.”

❤️‍🔥 Kyojuro Rengoku ❤️‍🔥

You’re so funny! You? Not confident in your skills or talents? Hahaha!

…

Wait. You’re not joking?

“But my flame, what made you think that? You’re almost as strong as the other hashira!”

Kyojuro’s first reaction was to laugh at your face. Surely you were joking! Your breathing technique is controlled and powerful and your slashing is accurate and swift. If you’d receive proper hashira training, you’ll be on his level in no time! Demons will sense your presence from a mile away!

But after seeing how your face faded into frown, Kyojuro silenced himself immediately. He apologises loudly and bowed to you. You are so talented and powerful, he seriously thought you were joking! What made you think like this in the first place? Did someone upset you? If so, he’d need a word with them!

After finding out your insecurity stems mainly from your family, he’ll suggest to speak to them. Kyojuro believes he can teach them wrong by pointing every single perfect thing about you. But if he did, he’d be there all day and night.

But if that’s not what you want, he’d totally understand. Kyojuro would then continue point everything perfect and talented about out to you instead! You need to see yourself from his perspective! You are good enough, you are loved and you are talented!

And he did so until you had to physically stop him with either a kiss or shoving food into his mouth.

Kyojuro means well. He wants you to see yourself the way he sees you: his talented, amazing and beautiful partner. From this day on, he’ll make sure to compliment you every day and on whatever you are doing. Even if it’s a little silly.

“Your kisses are especially tender today! Your affections set my heart ablaze, my flame!”

Bonus:

☀️ Yorichii Tsugikuni ☀️

Yorichii understands where you are coming from. He feels the exact same way, since his father beat it into his skull every day: He’s a failure, shouldn’t have been born and that he should’ve killed him at birth, regardless about how much his mother protested.

He is incredibly self-doubting and insecure himself, wich only increased after loosing Uta so brutally and his brother to Muzan’s luring. He is a person not worth remembering and not worth of being called a demon slayer, perhaps not even worth living. So it surprised him that you expressed similar insecurities.

“My sun, you are a very capable slayer. If not for you, we wouldn’t have beheaded this many demons together, and I surely would’ve struggled on my own.”

Yorichii would talk to you about your insecurities. Why do you feel this way? What made you think this? How can he show that you are wrong?

All of the sudden you tell him that him being such a strong slayer, in addition to your family’s behaviour and words, made you so insecure. Yorichii feels terrible for being partly responsible of making you feel even more insecure.

Yorichii a very quiet man, preferring to listen rather to talk. But for you, he’ll try to speak up more. The way you just swung your sword at the demon, that was excellent sword-handling. Your foot movement you did back there was very impressive, he should learn from you. Your cooking is excellent, this is now his new favourite dish. Your craftsmanship, no matter if you sketch, write or whatever, looks very well made and beautiful.

“You look very beautiful today, my light. Could you show me your stance from yesterday? I’d like to learn from you.”

💠

Thank you for reading! Hope you enjoyed. I would also like to credit my cat as a co-author.

My masterlist for the hashira.

My masterlist for the demons.

Make sure to EAT, SLEEP and DRINK enough.

Take care of yourselves <3

[ef-1]

A 10 day timeline of statements by Christian Horner and Helmut Marko in the lead up to keeping Perez

- July 19, Hungarian GP FP | Horner: "I think he's been in a bit of a headspin the last the last few races, but hopefully today were the signs that he's coming out of that - and the team are working very hard with him to support him and make sure that he does re-find his form, because we desperately need it." [source: Sky Sport F1]

- July 19, Hungarian GP FP2 | Helmut is asked to confirm if Perez has performances clauses in his contract that can be triggered by summer break: "There are various forms of performance clauses and, ultimately, it doesn't matter what a contract looks like, you just have to perform.” + “We'll have a look at the two races and then we'll sit down together to decide what and how things will continue after the summer break."

Helmut is asked who the favourite is among Ricciardo, Tsunoda and Lawson to replace Perez, he replies: "That was a nice question. I'll give a nice answer: everything is open." [source: ORF]

- July 20, Hungarian GP post-quali | Horner: "I think I have shown that I am very patient, but this was really the last thing he and the team needed. We now have to get everything back together, repair the car and see what we can get out of it during the race.”

Asked about Perez’s future, Horner replies: "Any discussions we have with him will of course take place internally and not in front of the media. But of course we can't run on one leg." [Racingnews365]

- July 24, commenting about Hungarian GP | Helmut: “It was a typical grand prix weekend for Perez: unpredictable. He continues to have this up and down, nobody knows when he will shine or when he will make a mistake, he simply lacks consistently good performance.” [source: Speedweek]

- July 26, Belgian GP Free Practice | Horner: "Checo’s future is in his hands. He has to have a good weekend, because we need his points for the constructors’ championship and McLaren has recovered a lot in the last races." [source: FormulaPassion Italia]

- July 27, Belgian GP pre-quali | Helmut: “Sergio knows that for the constructors' championship we have to have both cars ahead of McLaren if possible, and that hasn't been the case in the last few races”

When asked to set a specific goal for Perez, Marko refuses: “No, the goal is to win both the drivers' and constructors' championships, and we'll discuss the best way to achieve that on Monday [the 29th].” [source: Motorsport.com]

- July 27, Belgian GP post-quali | Helmut: “But it’s great to see Sergio, who has really improved. He will start on the front row due to the relegation and now things are looking much better again.” [source: Motorsport.com]

- July 28, Belgian GP post-race | Helmut: "Sergio had the opportunity to achieve a good result from second place. Unfortunately, that wasn't the case. Especially in the last stint, he completely collapsed, driving 1:48 times. What looked so positive in qualifying unfortunately didn't come true in the race." [source: Sky Germany]

- July 29, Red Bull Racing factory, Milton Keynes | Horner: "Checo remains a Red Bull Racing driver, despite all the speculation of late. We look forward to seeing him perform on circuits where he has done well before”

[kiskisur]

This might be a long one but hear me out…

Xiao x m!adeptus!reader

Xiao angst where we were an adeptus that went missing during the cataclysm. Xiao misses us deeply but after all these years is starting to slowly forget our facial features. 🙈 Andddd maybeeee we come back and he takes a while to recognize us.

Ty and have a nice day! 💟

ᝰ.ᐟ you know I can't fight the feeling.

warnings: angst with comfort, adeptus!male reader x xiao, he/him pronouns for [name] (you!) (sorry huhu it helps me improve my writing but I'll try in a 2nd POV maybe? ^^), reader goes missing for hundreds of years.

note: I'm so sorry it took long!! I was resting from. school but here you gooo~ I enjoyed it!!

In the heart of Liyue, where the sunlight dances on the water, [name] and Xiao found themselves in a rare moment of tranquility.

[name] grinned playfully, nudging Xiao with his elbow. "Hey, you with the brooding expression. You know, you've got this whole mysterious aura going on."

Xiao rolled his eyes but couldn't hide the hint of a smile. "I'm not trying to be mysterious. It's just... who I am."

[name] chuckled, leaning in as if he had a juicy secret to share. "Well, lucky for you, I'm the only one who gets to see through that 'mysterious' façade of yours."

Xiao raised an eyebrow, a mixture of skepticism and curiosity in his gaze. "Oh, really? And how exactly do you manage that?"

[name]'s eyes twinkled mischievously. "Simple. I see the Xiao who loves dandelion seeds flying in the wind, the one who secretly enjoys the good I make when he thinks no one's watching."

A faint blush colored Xiao's cheeks, but he crossed his arms in mock defense. "You're making things up."

[Name] pouted dramatically, feigning offense. "Hey now, I thought you'd be happy that I pay attention to these things."

Xiao's resistance finally crumbled, and he couldn't suppress a laugh. "[Name], you're unbelievable."

"That's why you love me," [name] teased, his tone turning softer.

Xiao's gaze softened as he looked at [name]. "Yeah, I do."

[name] beamed, his heart practically radiating with joy. "So, my dandelion-loving, enjoying-my-food Xiao, what's been on your mind lately?"

Xiao sighed, his expression turning more serious. "It's just...I've lived for so long, seen so much. Sometimes, the weight of time feels overwhelming."

[name] reached for Xiao's hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "I get it, Xiao. But remember, I'm here. We're in this together. And even when you feel like time is dragging you down, I'll be here to lift you up."

Xiao's eyes softened further, gratitude shining in his gaze. "You always know what to say."

[name] winked. "That's because I pay attention to my enigmatic, dandelion-loving boyfriend."

Xiao shook his head, unable to suppress his smile any longer. "You're incorrigible."

"But you love me for it," [name] said with a wink, pulling Xiao into a warm embrace.

One day, though, [name] disappeared. Poof. Just gone. Without a single word, leaving Xiao in a state of shock. Imagine, someone who was always in your space suddenly vanishing like an elusive treasure.

Fast forward through countless sunrises and sunsets, and Xiao's demeanor had changed. He became colder than a Cryo user in the middle of a snowstorm. The once-expressive man turned into a stoic figure, his laughter a rare occurrence, and his interactions minimal.

It's like [name]'s absence took a piece of his soul. You could see him staring into the distance, his eyes clouded with a mixture of sadness and longing. And those dandelion seeds he used to love? Well, they now seemed to remind him of [name], so they got the cold shoulder too.

Time passed. Centuries flowed by like a fast-forwarded play, and the memory of [name] started to blur like a vivid dream upon waking. Xiao's chest ached at the thought that he was forgetting [name]'s laugh, their quirky habits, and even the way their hand fit perfectly in his.

One day, he stood by the Liyue harbor, gazing out at the waves, and a wave of panic washed over him. [name] was slipping away from his mind, and he couldn't stop it. Every detail, every laugh, every touch – they were all fading, and Xiao felt like he was losing [name] all over again.

Zhongli, always the wise one, tried to console him. "Xiao, memories may fade, but the emotions you shared are timeless."

Xiao's gaze was distant, lost in the past. "How can I move on from someone I loved for hundreds of years? It's like letting go of a part of myself."

But then, a day that felt like an echo from history happened. [name] stood before him, as if time had bowed to their love. Xiao's jaw dropped, eyes wide like a Geo traveler who just found a rare artifact.

"[Name]?" he gasped, his voice a mix of shock and disbelief.

[name]'s grin was familiar, the twinkle in his eyes undiminished. "I told you I'd find my way back."

And in that moment, the years melted away, the pain dissolved, and time seemed irrelevant. Xiao rushed forward, unable to hold back his tears, his emotions like a flood bursting through a dam.

"[Name], I... I thought I'd lost you forever," he stammered, voice quivering.

[name] pulled him into a tight embrace, his warmth a reminder that they were real, that they were here. "I'm here now, Xiao. And I'm not going anywhere."

As they stood there, wrapped in each other's arms, the weight of the centuries seemed like a distant memory. The forgotten memories resurfaced, the laughter echoed like a long-lost melody, and their love, well, it was stronger than ever. Time might have tried to erase their story, but it had failed, because in the end, love was the ultimate conqueror.

ᝰ.ᐟ and every night I feel it right now, I wish you were here with me.

[vincentbriggs]

Good sir, I am hoping to pick your brain. I’m making an 18-century (“pirate”) shirt as a gift to my friend. He wants tie closures on the neck and cuffs instead of buttons. Might you have any insight or resources for this? I’ve seen the ties in at least one of the extant shirts I’ve viewed online. I’m still pretty new to the sewing gig and I’d like to minimize inventing metaphorical wheel as much as possible. Thanks in advance!

It's very unusual, but do know of one example! (Not that extant one though)

But first - Link to my most thorough shirt construction blog post. (It's a few years old and I've improved a few little things in my technique since then, and I mean to finish writing a new and better one before the year is over.)

Ok, ties on shirts! I'm assuming this is the extant one you're talking about? Tbh I'd discount this one entirely if you're looking for information on 18th century men's shirts because I don't think it is one.

Besides the attached ties, the sleeves are extremely weird. They're cut off and have no wristbands!! This would make it quite impossible to wear under a coat, the wristbands are an absolutely essential part of an 18th century shirt. I also don't see any reason to believe this is actually 18th century when it could just as easily be 19th century, and considering how short the slit is I think that more likely.

(Lots of auction sellers like to say "late 18th century" about things that are like... yeahh maaaaybe that's plausibly from a very fashion forward guy in the late 1790's but it's much more likely early 19th century. And with court dress they sometimes just straight up date it several decades too early. Look at lots of examples and always question everything, because museums don't always date things correctly either.)

I think I remember seeing someone mention once that it was a 19th century workman's garment of some sort, but I can't remember where, and all we've got to go on are a few pictures and a brief caption from a seller who doesn't know what they're talking about. It does look like it could have been worn over another layer though, and the fabric is very coarse. It could also have been altered at a later date for theatrical costume, which is something the Victorians did to A LOT of 18th century garments.

So just ignore that shirt!

The vast majority of 18th century mens shirts close with 2 or 3 buttons on the collar, but there is a style that uses ribbons. It appears to have been fairly common in the late 17th and early 18th century, and then slowly dwindles as the century goes on. I have a section for it on my shirts pinterest board with 64 examples. Ooh, wait, 65, just found a new one.

The collar is made with little to no overlap and one buttonhole on each end, and a ribbon is threaded through them.

Portrait of Carl Gustaf Tessin, 1728.

Sir Charles Howard, 1738.

I actually made one of these last year!

The collar doesn't sit as well with the ribbon as it does with 2 buttons, but once you put a stock over it it's fine.

Nearly every single depiction of an 18th century shirt I've ever seen (and I've spent a LOT of time looking) uses sleeve links on the wristbands. (Which I have a tutorial for! They're really easy to make!) I do sleeve links on most of my everyday shirts because I like them better than sewn on buttons. When the wristband is this narrow, sewn on buttons don't sit very nicely.

But! If your friend wants ties on the wrist in a historical way, I do know of one single example, and it's this guy!

Giovanni Maria delle Piane, Portrait of a nobleman. No date given, but if I had to guess I'd say 1680's or 90's. Very late 17th century looking fellow.

We can't see his collar closure, but I think it's very possible that he has a matching red ribbon holding that closed.

Personally I wouldn't want to try these, because they look like an absolute nightmare to tie by yourself one handed. But the good news is that you could make just regular wristband that take sleeve links and they'd work for this too, since both just have a buttonhole at each end! I aim for a finished wristband length that's 10-14mm longer than my wrist measurement, with the buttonhole being about 4 or 5mm in from the edge, which gives me enough ease to wear them comfortably with sleeve links, so if you do that then he'll be able to wear them both ways.

[irondadfics]

Hello! I was wondering if anyone knows any fics of Peter being a bit of a dick? I love the stories where he is rude to people, normally as a way to push them away so they can’t see how bad his life is. Any examples of rude/sassy Peter would be greatly appreciated!

here are some for you! Happy reading

Wake up and smell the coffee by Bergen

The Avengers find themselves in need of Spider-Man’s help to improve their reputation. Peter Parker, however, doesn't exactly have the best reputation: he has been dabbling in a life of crime. Tony really doesn't care about picking up after some degenerate teen. Peter really doesn't care about some dumb adults telling him what to do. And nothing will ever, ever change their minds.

100 Hours (Community Service is for the Turtles) by orphan_account

“Hey there, Parker. I’ve got some exciting news about your community service sentencing,” the bright voice from the other line says. "It looks like you've been reassigned." “Oh, yeah?” Peter asks, warily. His social worker sounds excited, but he's been burned a few too many times to take any "good news" at face value. Peter listens to her explain with a furrowed brow, and when the call is over, he opens the web browser on his cracked Android and quickly types the words september foundation into the search bar. His eyes narrow as he peruses the top result. Oh, he is going to kill that Stark bastard. - All Peter Parker wants to do is fly under the radar. He wants to go to school, work off his sentence by picking up trash at the stupid park, and avoid going home for as long as possible each night. Unfortunately for him, Tony Stark has never been one to see untapped potential and not do something about it.

The seventh escape by Bergen

Tony and Pepper snatched Peter up only a few weeks after the first Spider-Man video went viral. Real fucking coincidence, right? Suddenly, Tony Stark rocked right up at his group home, strewing business cards around like he was Oprah. If Oprah were an ugly white dude with a goatee. “Big fan,” he told Peter, fasting forward through a video of Spider-Man catching a bus before it crashed through a road block. “In and out of foster care your whole life, am I right? I believe my wife and I could provide a very fitting home for you.” “Pass,” Peter said.

Paradigm shift by Bergen

Peter got a Stark phone when he was ten. Adrian took him to a big store with lots of TV screens that all played the same video of Tony Stark declaring to the world that he was Iron Man. They ducked behind the microwaves, both of them giggling as Adrian stuffed the phone under Peter’s sweater. They walked right out the door without tripping the alarm, and Adrian bought him ice cream to celebrate. — After his parents die, Peter is taken in by the Toomes family. Things slowly, then quickly spiral out of control. All Adrian wants is to take revenge on Tony Stark. All Peter wants is to do the right thing. Why is that so much harder than expected?

the long game by niniblack

“Your prints were a match for a missing persons case from ten years ago. A little boy who was kidnapped.” The officer pulls out a picture that she turns toward Peter. It’s a little boy around four years old, with curly brown hair. “That’s you,” she says. Peter shakes his head. “Do you remember how you got to that park? Who left you there?” “Lady, I don’t remember jack shit,” Peter says. “I was like four. No one remembers shit from when they were four.” --- Or: the biodad au where Peter gets arrested for selling drugs, and that actually improves his life.

[chahnniesroom]

tenderness | epilogue: jet lag

[noun] /ˈtendərnəs/

1. the quality of being gentle, kind, or loving

2. the feeling of pain, aching, or soreness

pairing: bang chan x female reader

summary: in a world where soulmates are rare and precious, you don’t know why the universe has decided to give you one. you never could have imagined that they would be an idol, and one that you worked with at that, or the challenges that would arise from your bond.

chapter word count: 1.3k

chapter warnings: none :)

a/n: i really cannot believe i'm saying this, but here's the last part of tenderness! thank you so so much to everyone who has interacted with this story in any way. i apologise for the fact that sometimes i take a while to reply, but know i treasure each and every comment, reply, tag, and like that i have received. i couldn't have done it without you all!

i am working on two other fics, so if you like my writing, please stay tuned!

previous chapter | masterlist | read it on ao3

When you had initially heard that there would be a three week break between the Tokyo concerts and the North American leg of the tour, you had been surprised. You knew it was partly due to predetermined schedules, but it had seemed like such a long break between shows.

Now you're more than grateful for the extra time it gave you to rest and recover. Your health has significantly improved in that time. For the first time in weeks you’re no longer exhausted, all your concussion symptoms have disappeared, and your wounds have mostly healed. The stitches are still tender and if you move too quickly or laugh too hard then it pulls at the healing muscle and skin, but you feel comfortable walking around slowly without any pain. 

Since your doctor still advised that you avoid carrying anything remotely heavy, all of the boys have been refusing to let you do any housework and spending as much time with you as they can. You would have thought that the constant company would become suffocating, especially with the way they hover any time that you move, but surprisingly you don’t mind. Since you’d been forced to be independent for your whole childhood, it kind of feels nice to be doted on like this.

The eagerness to assist in any physical tasks means that packing for the trip consists of you directing Chan on what you want to bring and the two of you are finished in no time. It’s a relief since somehow neither of you had even started until the evening before you're scheduled to leave.

Once you’re changed for the flight and head out of Chan’s room, Hyunjin and Changbin are already there. Hyunjin is sprawled out on one of the couches with an arm draped over his eyes to block the light while Changbin is rummaging through the cupboards.

“Oh, where’s Jisung?” you ask, not waiting for an answer before you start making your way towards his room. “I’ll go check to see if he’s ready to go.”

You knock on his closed door, then ease it open when you don’t get a reply. Jisung is sitting on the side of the bed, head in his hands. The curtains are drawn which means that he’s shrouded in shadows. His bags are packed and placed near the door, but he makes no effort to move.

“Jisung,” you call. When he doesn’t respond, you soften your tone and try again. “Jisungie.”

He looks up at that, revealing bloodshot eyes and lips that have been bitten raw. It’s obvious that he hasn’t been able to sleep and you mentally kick yourself for not anticipating this. Jisung has always hated airports the most out of all the members and you know that past events have likely worsened any travel related anxiety that he already had.

You step forward and bend over slightly to pat his head, then smooth your hand over so that it rests on his shoulder. He leans into your touch at first, then his eyes widen in realisation.

“Noona, you should be sitting! It’s not good for you to bend like that,” he says, tugging on your arm so that you settle on the bed beside him. His touches are light, as they have been for the past few days, like he’s afraid of hurting you.

“It’s okay, really. The doctors have said that I’ve been healing well and I’ve been cleared for travel,” you reassure him.

“I don’t want to go,” Jisung confesses. “I couldn’t stop thinking about what might happen when we leave.”

“Yonghwan told you guys the plan, right?” You loop your arm into his and lean your head against his shoulder. “They’ve got everything prepared so that there won’t be any fans when we leave. We’re not going to be at Incheon today, we’re taking a private flight, the official schedule that was released shows we’ll be leaving in a couple of days, and there’s going to be enough security that even if there were to be any fans, they wouldn’t be able to come close.”

“I know that they’re doing all that stuff, but it’s not making me feel better. It’s so dumb,” he says in a broken voice. “I’m sorry, noona. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. You were the one that got hurt last time, so why am I freaking out?”

“Hey, no. Last time was a scary experience for all of you, even without what happened to me. It’s natural that you’re feeling anxious, I know that I’m a little bit nervous too.”

"I guess," Jisung agrees reluctantly. "I just wish I didn't feel like this."

“It’s hard,” you agree. “But you’re excited for the concerts, right? At least there’s something to look forward to in the next few weeks. I’m finally going to get a chance to see you guys from the crowd instead of backstage!”

“Really?” Jisung seems to perk up at that. “Don’t tell me where you’re going to be, I want to look out for you!”

“They didn’t tell me yet, so I can’t even share if I want to, but I think it’ll be a pretty good seat.”

“Are you going to make a sign? I can help make one with you at the hotel! I know exactly what it should say.” Han pretends to write out a poster. “‘‘Han Jisung is the Best!’ I think it’d be perfect!”

"Hm, I’m not too sure about if I want to be holding a sign, especially one with that on it," you say. You’re partially amused, mostly relieved that he seems to be in a better mood. “But first, we have to get there. Let’s go, I think the car is going to be picking us up soon.”

—

Your flight is scheduled for extremely early in the morning, a purposefully awkward time that serves as an added layer of protection against any fans trying to catch the group’s departure. The sun hasn’t even risen by the time you leave the dorms, but at least there’s not a single person around other than staff or security when you make it to the airport.

The flight is uneventful, although you really appreciate that the private plane means that you don’t have to be concerned about trying to hide your relationship with Chan. The two of you get to sit beside each other which makes it significantly easier to make up for the fact that you spent time packing instead of Charging last night.

You wake up as the plane starts to descend, the changes in pressure causing your ears to pop. You were slightly nervous at the airport this morning, but now your anxious thoughts have come back even worse. Your stomach churns and your heart rate starts to pick up. Logically, you know that everything will be fine, but your body doesn’t seem to have gotten the memo.

As if reading your mind, Chan reaches out and laces your fingers together even though your palms have gone clammy. His thumb traces steady circles that help to distract your thoughts for a while, but your breathing still hitches when the plane lands. You go stiff when the seatbelt sign blinks off and all the other members start getting ready to leave.

Chan tightens his hand around yours reassuringly. Somehow, it manages to squeeze the tension out of you. It’s not just the gesture or the Charge that makes you feel better. Just his presence is enough to comfort you.

"Hey," he says softly, "No matter what, I'll be here with you."

You know it's true. Even after all that the two of you have been through, even after all of the pain, the tears, the heartache, you trust him. 

With Chan by your side you feel safe, protected, cared for.

You feel loved.

previous chapter | masterlist | read it on ao3

[itsnothingofinterest]

Hey 👋 been a while, hope you're doing well?

Regarding the recent bnha chapter, and the ones before it, does it feel like the way things are going that everyone is kind of missing the "point"?

Because yeah, it's great for Deku to finally be seen as a "rising" hero that also inspires everyone, with them all fighting together and the civilians cheering them on.

But is all of that really so different from when All-might fought AFO at kamino? With the heroes helping All-might win and everyone else cheering him on?

It feels like everything has gone in one giant circle up to this point...

It doesn't seem like anyone (except for ochako, shoto and maybe Deku depending on what he does with shigaraki now) has really changed or learned anything.

(Aizawa is in a weird place because kurogiri is doing all work for him by glitching out and helping the heroes now, so aizawa can see that shirakumo is still in there, so he just acknowledges that.)

Because It's true that the civilians did try to "help" the heroes in a recent chapter but looking past the symbolism, all they actually did was give Deku a shirt and the other heroes some bandages or something, it wasn't very moving in my opinion.

And the hero side may take a more nuanced kind of view, with how they deal with aoyama and lesser villains like gentle and la brava, but that doesn't really help anything either.

Because aoyama was practically a hostage and gentle/la brava were the least "villainous" villains ever.

Can I ask what you think about all this?

Hey good to see you too, and yeah I 100% get what you mean. I don't want to act like I didn't like the chapter for the spectacle, but it is lacking something; and I think it's the sense of progress and improvement you're talking about. Because the chapter feels like it wants to have that, but i just don't feel it does.

And so, though I find the chapter rather fun & inoffensive on the whole, I'm still gonna throw some of what I will politely call constructive criticism at it and the last few before it for a bit if you're giving me the chance to.

These past few chapters have just been tossing all else to the side to get all gung ho about Deku and his hero allies becoming the greatest heroes, the heroes they were always meant to be (the kind of black & white story you'd expect AFO to usher in)...and I'm just not feeling it. I mean the team-up montage trivializing all of AFO's moves was cool but I got all style, no substance from it. Just typical hero stuff, comparable as you said to All Might with the other pros at Kamino.

It's like, I've been feeling this real want from both the readers and these latest chapters to say that Deku is surpassing All Might, and this is the moment where it's happening. 422 even talks about Deku's having a 'weakness' All Might lacked let him get up again and inspire others to get up again. But I've said before; Deku hasn't done anything All Might wouldn't in the same circumstance, and I think people who believe otherwise tend to assume AM was a lot less kind & a lot more independent, and Deku a lot less independent, than they are. Plus, All Might was the king of inspiring other heroes and he had to be literally paralyzed to stop fighting so what's that even about?

(Thinking about it; the problem might be that the manga wants to say Deku is more inspiring than AM; but the group we see him inspire to action most by far is fellow heroes, the same group All Might too most inspired to action.)

So yeah, it feels on the whole like we've just come full circle with our wheels spinning where I was hoping we'd move forward by now. And maybe there are a few exceptions where you could see some change, but even for them I question how much.

For one thing: I’m honestly not sure how much of Deku and Shoto’s more nuanced behaviour to their villain foils is from them being better heroes and what’s from Touya and Tenko being exceptions to them. Like, how will Shoto treat the next Dabi he meets if they aren’t his sibling? How will Deku treat a Tomura Shigaraki type that he can’t psychically see the inner child of? Ochako's the only one going against the grain just for the sake of a villain, and even then, it's not like we can expect repeat results. Fun as it sounds, she probably can't date every abused girl she meets and send off to jail.

Not to mention these past few chapters haven't even had any talk of villain saving anyway; no one has come here to save Tomura. I mean, Deku might (though sadly even his intentions must now be qualified with a 'might') but everyone else is here to save their fellow hero and beat the big bad; same as ever.

The civs haven't done anything too noteworthy or out of expectations we would've had for them in the early arcs either: just provide small help ranging from medical aid to one guy's shirt, and then sit back like a cheer squad for the next symbol/pillar while the heroes rush forward to do all the work, inspired by that same symbol/pillar. Maybe that's more than they would've done without the events of ch. 323~325...but that thought is mostly just depressing.

Even the cases of Gentle, La Brava, and Nagant don’t seem like these signs of progress to me; because I’ve said it before, but police asking criminals to catch worse criminals is normal. This has been standard procedure throughout. And Aoyama shouldn't even count and I'm almost angry that the story thinks he does.

Something that kind of caps off all this is how All Might talks about how Deku is his greatest hero; that line Deku was always eventually meant to embody (and apparently always did to AM). And cool as that is to confirm he's met all of All Might's expectations, it also feels like it's saying he's ended his arc; at this point where, if you ask me, he's only gone so far as to match All Might at best in every department besides raw power. Which is fantastic as far as Deku's personal goals go, that's all he's ever wanted; but when it feels like the world of HeroAca needed a guy who could exceed All Might, would could lead the charge for a generation of heroes to exceed their predecessors, it’s a shame that’s a level they’re all content just to meet. And that small shame sours something that should be really cool.

[bengiyo]

Don't Care for an Old Man's Underwear Ep 10 Stray Thoughts

This watch made possible thanks to @isaksbestpillow.

Last time, Hasegawa had the baseball team talk to Kakeru about why he felt uncomfortable with them. Over a series of conversations, the guys came to a better understanding about how their behavior made others uncomfortable, and realized that sometimes those behaviors make them uncomfortable too. On top of that, we got to see the baseball team mingle with Kakeru's girl friends. Elsewhere, Moe asked Makoto to go with Mika to the concert. Mika shared with Makoto that when she was in a dark place, RANDOM gave her something fun as a mental break and helped her make it through. Makoto listened closely and came to the fantastic analysis that RANDOM is the Okita family's benefactor. He had a great time at the concert with Mika, let her hang out with her fellow fans after the concert, did some research on his new bias, and then finally shared his research with Mika. They had a fantastic night, and met their kids on the way home. They invited Daichi and Madoka to hang out with them, and then Madoka proposed to Daichi in front of the Okita family. They later went to tell Daichi's mom and it was beautiful. I cried. We left at the family waiting to hear from Madoka, who went home to tell his family.

Oh no. Mihoko is definitely talking to Daichi's dad.

The costuming here feels intentional. Daichi and Makoto have come so far together that it feels like they're on the same page with their clothes looking so similar in color scheme.

Also, Makoto has become such a better listener. He can respond in compassionate ways to Daichi now that is supported by the earnestness he's always had.

I just love how thoughtful Makoto has become.

Kakeru looks so much more relaxed these days. He's having big youth moments.

Aw, Makoto was trying on the makeup trivia, and they dunked on my man.

Madoka succeeded!!! 🎉

Is Daichi's dad back to be homophobic? Sir, do you realize you are in the penultimate episode of the improving yourself and unlearning toxic masculinity show?

I am mad. I like Makoto slowing down to think about how best to support Daichi here.

I am with the makeup rival that they may be unintentionally encouraging Shizuka to change herself for her romantic interests.

Sir, your intellectualized homophobia is not cute.

I remain a fan of Haranishi.

Mika is such a good mom. I love the way she listens to Kakeru and gets him to the emotional core of his feelings. I also like that she doesn't disguise that some things aren't easy.

I will never forget Daichi. It's so rare that the characters can tell you how their own internalized homophobia cripples them in front of their relatives.

Yes, Kakeru! Tell him to meddle!

Well well well, Kakeru, look at you taking your own advice.

Wow, this man has gone too far. Do not talk to someone else's kid this way.

Yes, Makoto. Please go kick this man's ass.

This is such a difficult episode. There really is nothing you can say to someone to remove the infection of internalized homophobia. It's so upsetting because we learn shame at home. That's what this man put into his son. He is so rude, and I need him to have his ass handed to him pronto.

This was such a great episode reflecting on where we all fit into the society. I keep thinking about the scene about the colleague of theirs who got downsized. We contort ourselves to fit in only to be discarded when we're no longer useful, and then we lose our spouses.

I'm looking forward to the conclusion of this show, but I know I will miss it so dearly.

[reviewinghiccup]

Hey!!! I’ve gone through your entire list of posts and loved it. There’s a lot of psychoanalysis which makes the work a fun read.

Though I’m curious, what is your biggest inspiration or take-a-way from Hiccup? Do you have any other HTTYD character that equally inspires you. What about the franchise that speaks to you the most?

Sorry if the questions are loaded, but I’m curious, you dissect and approach the franchise in a detailed, humanistic way, I wonder if that’s kind of how you also view the universe.

HELLO DEAR!!! Sometimes I wish you guys weren’t anonymous so that I can find you and thank you for filling up my Inbox with such amazing words of encouragement.

To hear that anyone has just read this blog and enjoyed it really makes my day. I pour my heart into my writing and I just want to say I love answering these questions and I am sorry I took over a year to reply. Before I get to why lemme answer you first.

My biggest inspiration and take-away from Hiccup is:-

He is different

I grew up with Hiccup. When the first movie was released I was the same age he was and going through my own season of not fitting in and awkwardness. I wanted so much to be noticed and recognised. Physically I was also very different. I didn’t fit in anyone’s mould.

Peers are precious about certain things and kids with many friends usually meet their criteria - but I couldn’t. Not even close.

I know how it feels like to be alone and misunderstood, even by my own parents.

but he is always kind…

Hiccup doesn’t subscribe to revenge, at least not around his immediate peers like Snotlout who sometimes, I really do feel he deserves it. He believes that there’s always something, to understand, to fix or to improve. That industriousness actually makes him the perfect leader to propel his people forward into the future. In a world where everyone focuses on what’s on the outside, he hyper fixates on what’s on the inside and if we really start listening to why people say what they said instead of just taking their words literally you hear so much more.

he stewards his gifts well.

He can invent. He’s been inventing before meeting Toothless. He’s good at it. And he meets every physical challenge he has with an invention.

He is also a natural born leader - though he never fit the mould of what a Viking should look like, he fits the mould of what a leader should be. A leader needs to earn his respect, and though still the smaller male Viking, he is very well respected.

He is fearless.

Push comes to shove, Hiccup is reliable, courageous and quick thinking. He does not back down from a challenge. Yet, he isn’t intimidated by others strength - he allows everyone else to hone their skills and be their best selves as he has allowed himself to be.

HICCUP inspires me because his growth and leadership and story comes from him first accepting himself and in time, he becomes everything he was suppose to be. My biggest take-away from him is, you will never lose if you give yourself time to see the bigger picture of why things are the way they are.

Of course I love Hiccup for so much more, but I don’t know how much you’d wanna read 🤣 Nonetheless, on the top of my head, that’s what I think he means to me.

The other HTTYD Character that Equally Inspires me is, of course, ASTRID

To be fair, we know her significantly more than the other characters so it’s natural to fall in love with her.

But they have created a very beautiful character to love.

Astrid is strong and independent, but nothing about that takes away from her femininity. Sometimes I feel like movies/shows about strong independent women make those women so unfeeling and hard.

Astrid feels real to me. She’s driven, self-disciplined and honourable, but she can also be condescending and harsh - and instead of getting defensive about it, she actually listens to that constructive criticism when it comes and changes.

She knows she is born to lead (though not in the same way Hiccup is - which is also admirable because she humbly gives way to him to do his thing) so she needs to learn how to inspire her soldiers, help them improve and make them better. She can’t do that if she always thinks she’s right. That’s what brings about toxic leadership. And she is not toxic.

I admire her dedication to improve. It’s something I love in Hiccup as well, but Astrid just works on herself and her performance. It’s inspiring.

While there’s more, I’ll keep it to these two things for now.

What about the Franchise that Speaks to me Most

Friendship. Trust. Becoming. Young Adulthood. Reality Check. Being lost. Finding Yourself.

So much really. So much.

When I first started writing this blog, I actually lost my grandmother. I loved my grandmother so much. She was warmth, love and life personified.

After she left, I was lost for a very long time, failing exams and switching careers. I couldn’t focus.

This show helped me piece together a lot of my own personal feelings. It helped me think through certain problems. When I synthesised those thoughts into this blog space, I felt like I was dealing with them.

And when I watch Hiccup and Toothless glide in the sky, it made me feel like I am there with them. The soundtrack itself is also very transportive.

I think my favourite thing about the franchise was/is that it made me feel again. At least on the rewatch leading to the creation of this channel.

The franchise when I first watch those movies, when I was really young made me feel “found”, if that makes any sense to you. Because, it talks about not being alone - like how the loneliest dragon could find the loneliest boy Viking. And that these two in turn, found a lonely girl looking for something to see herself in.

Each step of Hiccup’s life was mine. Even when he didn’t want to “take on the family business” and desired to be more than he and the world he’s in is built - that was me, still is me.

This franchise has something for almost everyone. And every which way you turn Hiccup, you will see a small glimpse of yourself in him.

In essence, I think the franchise just speaks and that’s what makes it so damn good.

[cazort]

I have been seeing some left-wing people rejoicing or celebrating about Trump getting shot at, and I'm like, you guys really don't get it. This is just all-around bad:

It's an escalation of political violence, and it could cause copycat and/or retaliatory violence such as attacks on the Democratic nominee or other politicians or candidates.

Political violence, especially in the US, tends to benefit the right more. Four presidents have been assassinated: (1) Lincoln, who is best known for his anti-slavery stance (2) Kennedy, a wildly-popular Democrat who was replaced by his much less popular VP Johnson, who then lost to Nixon, (3) McKinley, who was a centrist and probably the most conservative of the four, and (4) Garfield, who was known for strong support for public education particularly as a way of improving civil rights for black people, and who appointed an unusual number of black people to higher posts in government.

It could create a sort of "martry complex" around Trump, a sense that he's being unfairly targetted and is the victim, and this could lead more people to support him or lead his supporters to become more passionate or loyal.

Because it's such a prominent, public act of violence and is already attracting so much media attention, it could cause escalation of violence in society as a whole, such as all sorts of random people trying to kill or assassinate other public figures, not necessarily just politicians.

It pushes us away from the conversations we need to be having and the work we need to be doing. Trump is not the problem; the problem is that we have a large segment of the populace who would vote for a person like Trump. If he weren't there, someone else would be. And the problem is that we have a political machine and other institutions like social media and other media, that elevate people like Trump into positions of power. Even if Trump were to die and none of the above problems were to apply at all, removing him wouldn't really solve much in the long-run. We'd still have a large segment of society willing to throw in behind someone like Trump, and a political system and media that elevates people like him. We need deep, radical, grass-roots change and violence targeted at a single isolated politician is not going to do this and is probably going to make it worse.

I do think that most of the prominent moderate-to-progressive politicians understand this. And this is why you have seen them all strongly condemning the assassination attempt on Trump. They know where this leads, and they know it's nowhere good. And they want to take another path.

So please. Stop celebrating this. It is not good news. It is very, very bad news and the only way to move forward is to treat it as such. Honestly, I think the worst news I am seeing around this whole thing has been how much I am seeing people on the left celebrating this.

And I get it. It's easy to see Trump as this supervilliain-type, a symbol of everything that is wrong in our political system, our society, and our world. But let me tell you, he's not. He's just some guy put there by a bunch of very powerful systems. And frankly I think he's kinda pathetic in a lot of ways. It is the systems that are the problem. And political violence is part of these systems and strengthens them.

This is why I am always telling people change needs to start within. If you cannot root out the violence and the authoritarianism from your own thinking, you will end up indirectly supporting an authoritarian leader, acting in ways that causes such a leader to rise to power. If we really want Trump and his supporters and people like Trump to be disempowered, we need to do the tough work, and that work involves looking inside our own minds and rooting out the authoritarianism, the tendency towards violence, hate, and groupthink.

If we cannot protect ourselves from falling into these things, the war is already lost.

Please see this and please stop celebrating this assassination attempt, or any type of political violence, especially when it is targeted at people we see as "the bad guys". This case is when our wisdom and restraint is most necessary.

[sirfrogsworth]

Actually, I might have too many reasons.

I'm afraid it has been a really difficult few years for me and my family.

Our beloved corgi, Otis, developed a terrible condition (degenerative myelopathy) that made him lose the function of his back legs. Once his quality of life diminished passed the point where he could no longer experience joy as a dog and only had hardship and suffering to look forward to, we had to put him to sleep.

In February, despite taking painstaking measures to stay safe, my entire family contracted COVID and I also developed a kidney stone at the same time. Unfortunately, my mother was on medication that made her immune system pretty much useless. She died a horribly lonely death in the ICU. The last time I got to speak to her was over the telephone, with a nurse holding the phone up to her face. She was confused and scared and could not breathe despite being on two different breathing aids. All she could do was ask if my dad and I were okay. She was more worried about us than herself. Then they had to put her mask back on and she kept trying to talk even though I couldn't understand her. All I could hear was the fear in her voice. I tried to tell her how much I loved her one last time, but I have no idea if she could hear me.

She lost consciousness soon after and never woke up. Eventually her heart gave up and she passed. I only got to see her once briefly through a glass door. Her body was still alive, but she was already gone at that point. Just an unconscious vessel attached to machines.

My father has kidney failure and heart failure. He is being kept alive by dialysis 3 times per week. He hates going and it wipes him out every time. We hope he has a year or two left, but it's impossible to know for sure.

I am his caretaker even though I am also disabled with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and Narcolepsy. I do my best to make sure his needs are met. My brother has been almost no help at all. A few friends and my aunt come by every once in a while to help with chores, but it's pretty much just me alone taking care of the both of us.

I have no idea where I am going to live if my dad passes away. I have no plan. I have no energy to make a plan. And that fear makes it hard to sleep many nights.

Then I was having these horrible stomach issues and lost nearly 30 pounds (in a bad way). The discomfort got so bad at one point I became suicidal. My dad feared for my life and so he called the police and EMTs. They admitted me into the hospital. After 2 days in the ER, being stuck in a small room because they had no other place to put me during COVID, I was finally admitted to a psychiatric ward for observation. Weirdly my stomach issues started improving and my suicidal thoughts passed.

I'm honestly not sure if I would have taken my own life if I had not been admitted. But I will say those two days in a tiny ER room did not do much to improve my mental health. It is sad that in this country with all its resources, there is no such thing as urgent mental healthcare. They just stick you in a room and make sure you can't hurt yourself as you wait in line to get the actual help you need.

Thankfully I was able to adjust some medication I was taking and resolve my stomach issues. That seemed to relieve me of my dangerous thoughts and I have been okay in that regard ever since.

My dad had a serious infection in July that placed him in the hospital. He lost the ability to walk, his heart stopped briefly, and he started having horrible hallucinations. At one point I wasn't sure if he would ever return to reality. Nothing he said made any sense. Thankfully once they treated the infection and he got decent sleep he returned to lucidity. But he had to go through brutal rehab in order to walk again (with a walker and only short distances).

He was in hospital and rehab for over a month. After what happened to my mom, I promised myself that my dad would not be alone in the hospital. So, no matter how bad I physically felt, I pushed myself to visit him and be at his bedside every day and all day until they kicked me out. It was grueling for both of us, but I don't know if he would have recovered if I hadn't been there. Partly because I kept his spirits up, but also because I was able to get him better care as an advocate. I had to push to make sure he got the tests and medication he needed and saw the doctors that could help him. It was one of the hardest things I've ever done.

The only bright side of his hospital stay is that we rediscovered our love for St. Louis Cardinals baseball. We bonded over it and ended up watching every game. We were very sad when they were quickly eliminated in the first round of the playoffs. But it was a magical season as two fan-favorite players were playing their final season and they had amazing and emotional sendoffs. (Albert Pujols and Yadier Molina) It is my hope that my dad has at least one more baseball season left in him.

My health took a serious downturn earlier this year. It happened on the very same day that my best friend Katrina came to visit from Florida. I got so sick I could barely appreciate her presence when she was here. I had been looking forward to seeing her for a very long time and my stupid chronic illness ruined it. I was counting on that visit to give me a mental health boost.

I recovered a few weeks later, but my health has never been the same. I had to adjust to a new normal and adapt and find ways to take care of my father despite being further impaired.

I also lost my last creative outlet--writing. I enjoy researching and writing long and humorous political essays, but since my health declined further, I have not been able to write like that ever since. I'm really hoping I can regain that ability, but I'm unsure if that will happen.

One of my best friends is trans and I have many trans friends and followers and I am just really scared for them right now. The laws that are being proposed and passed are unjust and cruel. I have never witnessed such an effective campaign of hatred in my lifetime. I mean, I know there has always been hatred of the marginalized in every era of modern human existence, but this seems to go beyond just the conservative hate-mongers. It is not couched in subtext and dog whistles. It is overt and very "out loud." And I'm seeing people who claim to be progressive join in this hatred.

They are suddenly super worried about sports they never used to pay attention to. They think bathrooms are suddenly dens of danger despite trans people existing long before this concentrated hate became popular and bathrooms being perfectly safe beforehand. And now people believe that helping trans kids with proper healthcare is akin to child abuse. They think accepting trans kids is "grooming."

I see Twitter and Reddit threads filled with transphobia and it often brings me to tears to see people openly and comfortably hate the people I love so much. They hate people who have no tangible effect on their lives. People who just want to exist and be respected.

I just don't know how people can hate my friends so much without even knowing them.

Also, I'm just... really really lonely. All the time. It feels like a constant punch in the gut. I miss seeing and hugging my friends. I miss romantic companionship. And I've got a 20+ year streak of being sexually frustrated and am completely unsure how in the world to address that.

And finally, I decided to watch The Handmaid's Tale which is just full of rape and sadness. I figured I'm already horribly depressed, so a show probably isn't going to do much more damage. But it is still a tough watch.

That's the major headlines of my depression.

I'm just trying to survive and find little ways to cope. Mostly I am leaning on my support system and amazing best friends to keep me propped up and functioning.

Best I can do right now.

[just-your-average-tangerine]

This is reviews and ratings for the narrative/ fiction podcasts I have/ am listening to. This is mostly for me but if you want to use this as a recommendation go for it but be warned I'm not talking about plot or giving a description, there's no mentions of potentially triggering material so do your own research first if that's something your concerned about.

Welcome to Night Vale

-Night Vale owns my entire ass, no one does it better. I've been listening since the beginning and while I do think the quality has dipped a bit in the last few years its still really good. 9/10

The Magnus Archives

-Nearly perfect. Holds up and even improves with subsequent listens. The final season drags a bit imo but worth it in the end. 9/10

Old Gods of Appalachia

-really good story, gives you a lot to keep track of character wise but is written well enough that its not too hard and you can still follow the story if you forget some. 8/10

Moonbase Theta Out

-I can't wait for this to be over. Unfortunately, the storyline has a chokehold on me, and i need to know how it ends. Otherwise, i wouldn't be listening anymore. While there are several pretty good voice actors, there's enough bad ones that it's hard to listen to. Took the idea that characters should be flawed a little too far and made nearly every character completely insufferable. Nearly everytime a character is being given critical and emotional information it cuts away, in what I assume is an attempt to save the audience from listening to the same information over and over again, but instead it deprives the audience that look at how the character reacts to the information, which could go a long way in making them seem more fleshed out, instead you only see them emote in angry outbursts or melodramatic soliloquies (which is not helped by the subpar acting). 2/10

Death By Dying

-pretty funny but I don't think there's been enough episodes to make a educated review or rating

Hello from the Hallowoods

- very good overall. Good story, heartfelt and well written. Percy's story hits close to home for me, which sometimes makes me mad because he comes across as very weak and insecure and it gets on my nerves. But honestly that's less of a problem with the Percy or the writing and more of a problem of him being one of the very very few trans masc characters in existence so its extra disappointing when i find him irritating. Polly owns my ass, I would die for him. 8/10

Where the Stars Fell

-I binge listened up to the current season which I feel wasn't the way to go but it's still pretty enjoyable. 6/10

Midnight Burger

-Very funny. I love the characters and their dynamic and just the idea of a time a space traveling diner, it's beautiful. The beginning of this new arc confused me a bit but it's starting to come together. 7/10

We Fix Space Junk

- Very funny but with the underlying terror of what's going on with automnicon. Looking forward to new episodes. 6/10

The Sheridan Tapes

-started really strong but has been spending too much time on the characters agnst and not enough time actually progressing the story. At this point I'm just looking forward to a conclusion. 4/10

Camp Here and There

- it was pretty good, nothing exceptional but not bad but then I took a single glance at what was going on in the fandom and it was so obnoxious that it immediately ruined it for me. I feel bad lowering the rating due to the fandom but like, yikes. 2/10

SCP Readings

-very entertaining, easy to follow even if you don't have any prior knowledge about scp, which I do not. 7/10

The Amelia Project

-I think I'm to early in this one to make a solid judgement but I enjoy it so far. Venerio haunts me.

[goblinpuppy35]

Paw Prints in Fresh Soil

(Previous Chapter) - Part 2 - (Next Chapter)

Professor Remus x Male Reader

Summary: While teaching at Hogwarts Professor Lupin tries his best to conceal his strong crush for the green fingered grounds keeper Y/N but soon a strong friendship blooms into something more.

------------------------------------------

A week of teaching flashed past Remus at an expectational speed and he loved every moment of it. Everyday was slightly different with what he taught and he was beginning to see a genuine improvement in the students Defense Against the Dark Art skills. He felt a place of pride for them all in his heart. The connection he had built with his students did help to combat the consistently delicate relationship he held with most other teachers.

They would exchange polite nods with Remus down the hallway yet this was always accompanied with a swift step to the furthest wall to increase their distance between themselves and the Proffesor. It was an agonising staff meeting when it had been made aware to the rest of the teachers about Remus being a werewolf, several protested intensely, with Professor Snape being the biggest. During this discussion Remus had kept closest to the door with his head hung staring at his scuffed shoes. He felt a constant sense of anxiety that this whole opportunity would be whipped away from him any second.

Each day Remus considered it a blessing he was still at Hogwarts. At this point he had become accustomed to doing his scheduled night patrols alone. His eyes adjusted well to the dark night surroundings, personally Remus would have been happy to wonder without a light but to not startle any potential wandering members of the castle, he illuminated his path by the tip of his wand as he strolled down the hallway, passing sleeping paintings. 

The night had a cold but peaceful atmosphere to it which Remus took solis in, enjoying a few squares of his nighttime supply of chocolate. As Remus used his sharp back teeth to press down on a particular hard piece he froze in the middle of the hallway and observed a dull warm light grow in intensity around the corner. It was the glow of a lantern and Remus prepared himself to give a wandering student a stern yet measured reminder of Hogwarts after dark curfew rules, but the figure's size threw his focus. Taller than a student yet not as tall as the Professor himself. With Remus remaining stagnant and figure not fully looking where they were going the two almost collided.

With only a few steps to spare the lamp and the head of its carrier whipped forward in Remus' direction, their two light sources highlighting the other. "Y/N!" Remus said in surprise, "Oh Christ! " was the groundskeeper's response followed by him stepping back, clinching his chest and letting out a small nervous laugh "You really need to stop sneaking up on me Professor Lupin". Despite the shock Remus found himself pleased to see the young man again "forgive me, I didn't expect to see you of all people on my patrol, what are you doing up and about?". By now Y/N had caught his breath back, "Same as you actually" he explained "Hagrid wasn't feeling so well so asked me to do his night patrol for him. I don't spend much time in this castle, I'm honestly amazed you all don't get lost in this maze more often!". There already seemed to be an element of comfortable familiarity between the two men which Remus enjoyed, "Well we all get lost in our first year but soon you start to know Hogwarts as a second home along with all its strange passageways" he beamed towards Y/N, however this shared experience seemed to be lost on the groundskeeper who looked back at Remus with a polite but confused smile.

Remus wasn't able to speak again before the conversation was deliberately interrupted by a slow cough echoing down the hall, it's perpetrator made themselves viable from their own wands light. "Interrupting something am I?" each word was more drawn more then the last and Remus brow dropped as Proffesor Snape approached them. "The fact your granted the responsibility of night patrols is truly beyond me, especially since it seems you'd rather spend your time gossiping" Snape's dark eyes lookee between Y/N and Remus who then looked towards each other. "With all due respect Proffesor Snape" Y/N carefully began "Professor Lupin is an incredibly capable member of staff and takes his role with absolute seriousness" Remus' mouth dropped open slightly, it was rare he was ever stood up for. "In fact I was just about to ask Professor Lupin if he would accompany me on my petrol for the rest of the night since I don't know these halls as well as him." Y/N finished with an air of confidence though alas this began to diminished as Proffesor Snape came closer.

"This is NOT the kind of individual anyone in this school should be conspiring with" hissed Snape towards Y/N, "If it was put to me he would be on the first train out of here" as the ghoulish positions teacher paused he leaned in closer to Y/N making him visible nervous. "And you would be a close second Mr Y/L/N. You have no business being here, the only small positive in your gross act of misjudgement is the only person your endangering is yourself of course". Y/N's face showed he was certainly upset by these comments yet he stood his ground, gripping onto the handle of his lantern tightly.

Once Snape was satisfied with his torment he adjusted his robes and started to walk down the eery corridor "Of course, it's in my best interest for you to not get yourself harmed. I will need your help collecting the herbs I need for a certain Someone's medicine" with the word someone being emphasised as Snape briefly turned back to glare directly as Remus. It wasn't until Remus was satisfied that Snape was out of ear stop he could relax and turn back to Y/N "he's as insufferable as when he was child. I'm sorry about him Y/N please don't take his words to heart. You have a right to be here as much as anyone" in a moment of rare forwardness Remus places his hand gently on Y/N's shoulder.

This gesture was met with tender eyes and a small warm smile from Y/N which was enough to make Remus draw him in closer but by force he controlled his impulses. "Thank you Lupin" Y/N said genuinely "But Professor Snape is right, I don't exactly belong here" as Y/N contemplated he began to walk down the hallway and Remus swiftly followed. "You know originally I withdrew my application to come and work here at the school but it was Dumbeldore who found me and encouraged me to reconsider." as they walked Y/N seemed to be talking to the sleeping paintings as much as he was to Remus, nevertheless he was happy to just listen. "I knew the risks coming here and I knew it wasn't going to be easy yet at the same time I was hopeful, if that makes any sense". "Completely" Remus said earnestly suddenly finding himself connecting even more with the gentleman next to him. Was it possible they were more alike then he had originally thought?

"Well" Y/N said with a sudden chuckle "that's what I get for being a Muggle living under Hogwarts roof". Remus instantly scrapped his previous thoughts. "I'm sorry what? .. your a Muggle?" Y/N seemed shocked by Remus' own level of disbelief, "had you not noticed" he asked lifting up his hand  to Remus "no wand". This was true, Remus had never noticed a wand on Y/N's person and it would explain why he was walking at night by latten light and yet Remus was still struggling to grasp this new information. Y/N had stopped walking forward, folding his arms he leans against the stone wall, allowing Remus to remain dumbfounded "if it helps you reacting as well as most people do" there was a hint of sarcasm in Y/N's voice. This was not the first time he'd had this conversation. In this moment Remus recognised the familiar emotions of uneasiness and panic he had often bared witness from others now being expressed outwardly from himself. He took a moment to recenter himself and rejoin the conversation with Y/N, the last thing Remus wanted to do was make him feel more isolated.

Without being prompted Y/N began to talk, "I'm sure you've got questions so I'll give you the basic run down . My parents went to Hogwarts, they met each other, fell in love and had a child. A healthy baby boy who grew up to be a very capable wizard in the ministry. Then they had a second child .. a child who showed no signs of magical spell casting abilities. And before you ask they did numerous tests on me. Some just said I was a late bloomer and needed more time but nothing happened. No wand chose me and that was that". They had reached the end of the hallway which had an enormous decorative arched window looking out towards the still lake and Y/N watched the clouds reflection dance in the water ripples as he continued. "So my parents decided to send me to a Muggle school, not that I really fit in there either. But I still had such an interest in the magic world, I read all my parents books on wizard history and creatures. I got particularly fascinated by magical herbology hence why I help out in the greenhouses so much. So yes, I may be a Muggle technically but I know a lot about this world and I feel more connected to be in it then the one out there." Despair was hidden behind Y/N's eyes though he did a good job holding it from rising to the surface.

Remus said nothing at first, he simply looked at Y/N in awe, processing every word he'd said. Finally as the full murky colours of dawn began to creep into the sky and morning birds tweeted in the dark trees, Remus reached out and took Y/N's hand. It was Y/N's turn to now stand silently, in shock of Remus' sudden action. "You may not be a magic caster Y/N .. but you have me spellbound" even within the dark Y/N cheeks clearly turned a warm pink and he almost tried to wiggle out of Remus' grasp. "You are proving everyone who ever doubted you wrong by being here and that is immensely courageous, I implore you to believe in your own capabilities, or at least let me believe in them until you can" when Remus had said 'let me' he could feel Y/N's own grip in his palm get tighter for a moment. "That's .. that's quite a romantic statement Proffesor Lupin" Y/N couldn't meet Remus' eye contact until he said his name and in a heart beat both men were the same shape of pink and exchange nervous chuckles.

"Please, call me Remus" he noticed the warm colour coming back to Y/N's face which caused Remus to gaze out of the window and see that the morning sun was swiftly approaching. "And I'm just speaking honestly...Looks like our patrol together is almost done. Would you like to watch the sun rise with me?". Y/N nodded and their hands parted as they sat down of the stone window ledge and enjoyed the steady glow of the horizon. "What did Professor Snape mean when he said that you shouldn't be here either" Y/N ask and looked at Remus with curious eyes. Remus kept his eyes forward at the lake and his jaw tightened. "Oh nothing really. Just old school boy grudges really." Y/N continued to stare at Remus and then eventually turned back to face the sunshine "oh. okay then."

'Honestly my arse' thought Remus with a sigh.

[facingthefossegrim]

Mo Guan Shan's Guitar: Part 2 。

Part 2 is the symbolism. (Part 1 [here].)

My first post on the subject describes Mo Guan Shan's interest and desire to play music, specifically the guitar. What I was really getting at here is the symbolism behind it; the guitar as a representation of his interest and desire in He Tian.

Chapter 226: Mo's longing here runs parallel to his longing to He Tian; someone who he sees as unattainable as the guitar, and so he dismisses him as an impossibility.

But He Tian doesn't see it that way. He goes and buys Mo a custom guitar after hearing Mo admit that he couldn't afford it on his own; couldn't move forward in that regards. In a similar vein, doesn't He Tian also make himself available to Mo despite Mo seeing their relationship as an impossibility?

Chapter 346: Even after receiving the gift, Mo hesitates to accept it, claiming that He Tian doesn't understand him. In a way, this proves to be true to some degree (see below), but He Tian also pushes for Mo to change; to move forward from such a bleak mindset. Although they don't understand each other quite yet, He Tian says they'll have the opportunity to get to know each other better later on.

Chapters 363-364: There's a parallel here, in the way Mo turns his head away at the sight of He Tian (just like he turned away from the guitar by the window in chapter 226). He Tians asks him if it isn't about money, which is kinda insensitive af, but also, looking at their previous conversation in chapter 299 (see part 1), Mo had stated then that joining music club (aka. pursuing his interest) would be a waste of time and money.

With guitar/music being representative of He Tian, am I reaching in thinking that Mo sees pursuing a relationship with He Tian as something that would go nowhere at this point? Mo admits to his shortcomings and sense of inferiority in this chapter (how ill-suited he thinks he is to be with He Tian), not that He Tian would let him use it as a reason to leave him.

Mo tells him, "You don't understand," which echoes his inner turmoil in chapter 346 and the theme of the two of them not understanding each other continues.

Chapter 397: He Tian previously told Mo, "If you don't even have the courage to change, then you don't deserve to dream." We've fast-forward a bit here, but after Mo's initial confrontation with She Li, we see that after Mo accepted He Tian (accepting his "dream"), he's been making that effort to change.

He put more effort into his studies with He Tian's help (his support) and it paid off in improved grades, but I picked this scene to highlight because this is the moment where his courage is made manifest.

The teacher who previously scolded He Tian pretty much disparaged Mo by highlighting his insecurities (of being unworthy of He Tian), and yet instead of continuing to turn away, to run away from He Tian, Mo decides to move forward towards change. He aims to become someone who could proudly stand next to He Tian; to pursue his dream.

(I got a little sidetracked from the guitar metaphor this was supposed to be, but hopefully y'all get where I'm coming from.)

[simplyrochellemari]

Don’t Leave ~Dean Winchester~

Request: 

Hey! Can you do a oneshot where you dated Dean like 10 years ago but had to break it off due to family issues on his end, you bump into him in a bar 10 years later and find out he has a girlfriend, but old feelings arise between you both and there's a lot of flirting and reminiscing until you give in and there's a whole lot of dirty rough sex (none of them regret it). Thanks!

Warnings: Rough sex

Pairings: Platonic!reader x Sam, ex!reader x Dean

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The tar road of the parking lot crunched underneath your boots as you climbed out of the passenger seat of a truck. The rain trickling down ever so slightly onto your leather jacket. The crisp night burning at your lungs. 

Another date night, another bar, another one night stand that you probably won’t ever see again or remember for that matter. 

The bright eyed, pale face ran around to your side. You forced a smile as he grabbed your hand. He was good-looking, well-off, and evidently liked you, so you convinced yourself to give it a go.

In between hunting and constantly moving around the country there wasn’t much for you to look forward to at the end of every day. This although, was nice, enough, for now. 

“I do really enjoy this place, great food and great beer.” Paul, your date beamed. You smiled as his hand squeezed yours leading you towards the bar. You silently hoped you didn’t end up in the bedroom with him. 

“Well, we are in luck, I am both hungry and thirsty.” you joked and he chuckled. You both quickly approached the entrance to the bar, the music pouring out loudly with every whip open from the door. 

You followed Paul into the bar, the warmth rolling over your shoulders. Almost instantly bringing a calm and relaxing mood over your body. 

“I’ll get us a drink!” he called over the music and you nodded your eyes drifting towards the pool table. 

“Do you play pool?” you called back and his quickly whipped back, going back and forth between you and the green table. 

“Not really, don’t like it” he stated, looking uninterested at the suggestion. 

“I’ll show you!” You smiled back as he turned and walked towards the bar. You could’ve sworn he rolled his eyes. 

You shook your head slightly, trying not to self destruct the date before it had even started. You quickly made your way through a sea of bodies, placing a coin on the table to ensure you would get the next game. If Paul didn’t like pool this might help you get some sort of conversation going. 

The music was blaring, people were chatting and laughing. Some were dancing on a dance floor and you couldn’t wait to loosen up and get a drink down you as quickly as humanly possible. It had been a hard few days of hunting and doing it by yourself was taking a toll. 

You found a bar stool and table close to the pool area. You quickly slid off your leather jacket to reveal your lace bodysuit emphasising your toned arms and showing your midriff off, through the tight lace. You caught Paul’s eyes in the crowd coming over with two drinks in his hands. 

You waved him over as you silently took a seat. His eyes rolled over your toned shoulders and you almost suddenly felt too exposed. He quietly sat down and slid your pint over to you. 

“Thank you!” you smiled, “We are in next, for a game.”  

He nodded and turned towards the pool table. 

“Or I’ll just play the winner, whatever works.” you suggested, he nodded slightly. “That way we can do it together.” 

He nodded again and you inhaled deeply. An awkward tension fell over you suddenly as you took a long sip of the beer. 

“So, do you enjoy the corporate world?” you questioned as his eyes came back to yours. 

“Yes I do, lots of room to improve and move up in.” he answered poignantly, taking a long sip of his pint. You forced a smile, sipping on the beer, attempting to think of another talking point. The conversation online had been so incredibly dry but he was willing to meet in person and you were hoping for the best. 

Maybe he just couldn’t translate well via messages? But, as the date ticked on, you realised quickly it was the same in person. 

“I’ve always thought of pursuing it as a career.” you lied, hoping that you sounded enthusiastic enough but to your surprise, he let a laugh escape his mouth and your eyes slightly widened. 

“Sure!” he laughed again and your eyebrows furrowed. You were about to interject when someone’s voice halted you a stop. 

“Next game!”  

You slowly stood up, attempting to push your annoyance with Paul to the side for laughing at your attempt to make some sort of conversation with him. Fuck you, you silently thought. 

You shook your head and approached the table when your eyes landed on the one and only, 

Dean Winchester. 

You hadn’t realised all the emotion that was still attached to his face, but every single bit flooded into your head as if flood gates had broken. It made your arms numb. Your tummy released a flock of butterflies and your heart rate increased. 

He looked just as surprised as you were and within an instant, smiles broke across both of your faces. 

“Dean!” you exclaimed, throwing your arms around his neck, embracing him. He squeezed you tightly and spun you around laughing into your neck. 

“Y/N, it has been too long.” he called out laughing, sipping the last of his pint. You laughed with him, shaking your head in agreement. 

“It really has Dean.” you stated, almost teary eyed at the surprise of seeing him. Sam suddenly appeared behind him and you broke into yet another wide smile. 

“Sam!” you called as he embraced you for a hug. 

“Oh Y/N it is so good to see you.” he said as you had to swallow a few more tears threatening to roll down your cheeks. You suddenly felt warm, your heart felt at ease and you felt that you could finally unwind but before you could continue chatting with the boys, Paul suddenly appeared next to you, hand around your waist pulling you closer to him. 

“Y/N, who’s your friends?” he questioned as you frowned at the odd gesture. A minute ago mocking you, and now seemingly very insecure. 

“Paul, these are two old friends. We worked together about 10 years ago.” you smiled as they nodded, introducing themselves. 

Dean’s eyes lingering on you a little longer than necessary, especially on Paul’s uninvited hand on your waist. 

“Sam and Dean, nice to meet you.” Paul nodded, averting his attention to you. 

“Should we get onto pool then Y/N?” he questioned and you nodded. 

“It’s actually one of you competing against the winner of the previous game.” Sam stated smiling, 

“Which is Dean.” 

Your eyes widened as you smiled towards him. Paul stiffened next to you, almost tightening his grip on your waist. 

“You are so on, Winchester.” you chuckled. Paul’s eyebrows furrowed as you pulled yourself from his arm.  “Y/N” your name echoed, “We should probably head off to get a table, for dinner, or just head some other place.” 

You turned slightly as Paul shifted uncomfortably, you nodded slowly. 

“One game, and I am sure our table will be ready. I can show you how to play too.” your answered as he pulled you closer. 

“It seems to me you are a little too comfortable around your work mates.” he sneered into your ear. 

“Look, Paul. Go ahead, if you’d like to go that is fine, but I would like to stay.” you responded quietly,

“I get we are on a date but I think we both know we aren’t each others cup of tea and that it isn't going to go anywhere, you are welcome to join us but if you are not comfortable. I do understand.” 

His eyes were wide in astonishment as he slowly nodded. You did feel a pinch of heartache, the type you get when you know you are being slightly unreasonable but it was true, that this was never going to eventuate into anything. Without saying anything else he turned and left. 

You took a deep breath and slowly turned around, and cracked a smile when Sam threw his arm around your shoulder. 

“Where did you get that guy? Jesus.” he chuckled. Dean’s eyes were still glued to you as you smiled at him. 

“Well, I didn’t just end a date for you to keep staring at me like this. Are we going to play or not?” you slickly questioned as Dean smirked. 

“God, have we missed you.” 

---

A couple of hours later and about 10 whiskey shots in, you were seated clutching at your belly with laughter. Sam’s head back and Dean’s laugh filling your head to the brim. 

“Man, do you remember that time when Y/N tased Ed from ghostfacers?” Sam laughed, mimicking the “GHOSTFACERS” in the deepest voice imaginable. You burst out laughing again, 

“I mean, c’mon do you blame me?” you called out as you caught Dean’s lingering eyes on you again. 

“Dean looked like he was going to murder either one of them at any given point in time.” You teased, shoving his arm ever so slightly. Noticing he had gone quiet. 

“Anyway, what have you been up to?” Sam questioned, “Linking up with other hunters?” 

“Here and there, but mostly on my own.” you retorted, 

“I mean tonight was the exception, just wanted to feel normal, but it rarely ever works out.” 

“Well I am happy that our paths crossed again, but I need another drink and so do you two.” Sam stated, getting up with a long screech of the chair. You smiled over at Dean and he caught your eyes. Too many whiskey shots impairing your thought process. 

“I don’t think I ever thanked you, for what you did for me.” you spoke suddenly and his head turned to you. 

“You helped me become such a strong hunter and helped me through so much of my own trauma and I am deeply sorry for never being able to do that for you.” 

“No, no, no, don’t.” he started leaning forward, 

“Do not apologise when we both know it was my fault you left.” he croaked, you swore you could almost see him tear up. 

“Dean, don’t start with this.” you spoke up, leaning over and placing a hand on his forearm. He almost twitched at your touch. 

“It was just the wrong time for us.” you softly reassured. He nodded. 

You both knew at the time you were perfect for one another, in each and every aspect of your life together it was a match made in heaven, but he was taking on too much in his life, too much responsibility for you to be a priority for him. 

A tear tore at your cheek, you chuckled. 

“But, it was not all for nothing. I’ve got two amazing people, who I still love and care for here now, catching up and thinking back to all the good times we've shared,” you sniffled, 

“And I wouldn’t give that up for the world.” 

He smiled, squeezing your hand tightly. Sam returned managing to carry three more whiskey shots to the table. You and Dean both groaned in protests and laughter escaped from Sam. 

“Just drink it.” he stated. You clinked your glasses together and threw the whiskey down your throat. It violently burning at your throat. You exhaled sharply, 

“So, what else has been happening in the life of the Winchesters?” you chuckled, leaning back on the chair. Sam and Dean both chuckled. Dean’s eyes shifting uncomfortably as Sam’s gaze landed on you. 

“Well other than Dean getting tied down by a girl, not much other than hunting.” Sam shrugged his shoulders and your eyes widened. 

A pang of sadness, guilt, and regret pooled over your chest. Your eyes stayed glued to your empty glass, slowly spinning it around in your hand. 

“Yep, always me, getting tied down there Sammy.” Dean’s voice came, annoyance laced in his tone. 

“Well, congratulations on having a little bit of normalcy in your lives then.” you laughed, breaking the odd tension. 

“I had to pretend that I would like to explore and climb the corporate ladder tonight.” you scoffed and Sam gave a low whistle as Dean leaned back in his chair. 

“Ah, the joys. Well, Molly doesn’t know about any of this.” Dean lowly stated, as you nodded. 

“Well, I don’t blame you. It’s a big responsibility to carry.” 

The conversation dwindled as you took a slow slip of the glass of water that remained untouched until now. 

“Well, I think that is my cue. One too many whiskey shots for me.” Sam stated, getting up. He placed a kiss to your temple and squeezed your shoulders slightly. 

“Goodnight sweetheart, come by tomorrow and we can see if we can crack this poltergeist case.” he stated, lazily and drunkenly wandering out of the bar. You nodded, calling a goodnight sentiment after him. Silence fell over the table. 

“I’m sorry about that. I should’ve told you sooner.” Dean angrily stated. 

“No, no, no. It is fine.” you reassured, 

“I guess after 10 years there are still some feelings there.” you drunkenly continued. His eyes slightly widened, and you almost stabbed yourself with the blunt butter knife on the table. 

“Like I mean not like that, but like feelings you know,” you murmured on, eventually placing your hands on your cheeks as Dean let out a low laugh. 

“I didn’t actually think “like that” but now I am.” he stated, locking eyes with you. Your eyes widened as he let out another low chuckle. 

“Dean Winchester.” you warned, reminding not only Dean but yourself of the seriousness of this situation. He nodded, putting his hands up in defence as you felt a familiar feeling in the pit of your stomach. 

“Well, we should probably follow Sammy’s example and head off to bed.” you announced, slipping on your jacket. You and Dean lazily walked out of the bar and stood outside, shaded from the rain. 

“Well, I am right across from here.” Dean lazily pointed. You nodded, 

“I am across town, so I will see you tomorrow.” 

Dean nodded, wrapping his arms around you. He squeezed you in a longing manner and all you could think about was how safe and secure his embrace felt. Nothing prepared you for what happened next. 

Dean swiftly pushed you up against the wall, planting a deep kiss on your mouth. Squeezing you tightly. He tasted of whiskey, and something that just made him, Dean. 

You were so shocked a sudden and deep moan escaped your mouth as your mouths melted together. You didn’t know if it was the alcohol or your own lust that kept you there longer but you quickly pushed him away as every inch of your body protested. 

“Dean, w-we sh-shouldn’t do this.” you struggled, as his orbs rolled over your facial features. 

“Y/N, all I can think about is, you.” Dean stated in frustration, 

“I have never felt the same about anyone after you.” 

Your eyes almost rolled back into your head when he kissed you again. This time you didn’t hesitate to kiss him back, pull him close and feel him against you. Your body had longed to be in his embrace, once again. 

“Come with me?” Dean questioned, out of breath from the kiss. You inhaled sharply, quickly shaking your head. 

“No, Dean, I mean...” you struggled, fidgeting with your hands, 

“We can’t do... and what about Molly...” 

You saw his face shift as he too came to the harsh reality of what you both were doing. He swallowed heavily, pulling away from you. The warmth of his body suddenly leaving you, it was suddenly too cold. 

He ran his hand over his face roughly and you almost burst out into tears, from pure frustration, hatred towards the situation you had gotten yourself into and seeing him so upset. 

“You know it’s never going to work with Molly.” Dean’s voice cut through the air, and your eyes glued to his every move. 

“I will call her now if I need to, but I don’t want to leave you,” Dean’s voice cracked, 

“ever, again.” 

His eyes were filled to the brim with tears threatening to run down his face. You closed the gap between you. His jaw tightened, 

“Everyday I wake up knowing that I lost you, I didn’t fight for you and that I didn’t do enough to keep you in my life.” 

Your eyes widened as he paced in front of you. The feelings of regret and sadness pooling over his face. 

“We don't have to do anything tonight.” he murmured, 

“I just don’t want to lose you again.” 

You smiled at him, closing the gap between you and slowly taking his hands in yours. 

“Dean, you never lost me.” 

“Come with me?” Dean questioned, again. 

“Yes, of course.” you responded as a smile cracked across his face. 

“Well, we will have to make a run for it.” he laughed, out. 

You ran laughing in the rain, across to the motel. Dean and Sam had booked seperate rooms, and at the back of your mind you were so extremely grateful.  

Dean quickly opened the door, and before you knew it, he had you up against the door. His kisses and embrace had more passion than before, more want and more need. He kissed and sucked harshly on your sweet spot- the one he’s clearly not forgotten. He teased moans out of you, that only he was ever able to do. 

“Oh god, how I've missed hearing that voice.” he lowly growled against your skin. You suddenly realised how wet you must be, warming more and more as he continued to kiss and bite at your neck. 

A bruise or two bound to be evident. 

“You still like it rough Y/N?” he questioned, pulling away slightly and you nodded. 

“I appreciate all the questions but can -” you managed as he grabbed a hold of your clothed sex, providing the right amount of pressure to make you bite back a scream. You grabbed onto his shoulders, pulling at the t-shirt. He chuckled lowly. 

“I have missed the sarcasm, and I’ve missed how you squirm and moan.” he teased as you shot him a warning glare. He pulled your jacket off, discarding it somewhere in the room, turned you and pulled down your jeans. 

Your head pressed against the door, panting in frustration and need for him. 

“Did you think I was going to give it to you that easily?” Dean chuckled in your ear, making you groan in want. You slowly turned, stripping off whatever clothes you still had on. His mouth glued to your skin. 

“Well, it is your turn.” you teased, “To get undressed.” 

You walked towards the bed and seductively waited for Dean to get close enough behind you, before bending forwards slowly. Feeling him harden through his boxers. He groaned as he gripped your hips tightly. 

“God, I have missed every bit of you.” he panted, pulling his boxers down. You squirmed, arching your hips back in hoped of feeling more of him- but he slipped inside of you easily and pushed forward in a hard motion. 

“Dean!” you exclaimed as he repeated the motion again, hands gripping onto your waist. Your fingers getting lost in the bed sheet as he continued to fuck you hard from behind. 

He leaned forward pressing up against your back, still deep inside of you. Gripping you tightly, clearly struggling himself. He stilled. 

“C’mon Dean, don’t tell me someone is struggling.” you teased as he chuckled against your skin, slowly pulling out of you. You almost moaned at the loss of his cock inside of you. 

He flipped you around and planted his mouth onto yours once more. Before you knew it, he slammed himself into your wet sex and you both moaned into each other. 

“Dean” you whimpered, as his eyes locked with yours. 

“You okay?” he quickly whispered, slowing his actions. You nodded, 

“I’m close.” you managed and he smiled, placing a kiss to your forehead, slamming hard into you once more. You moaned loudly, body going numb with pleasure as you gripped onto Dean. 

“There you go sweetheart” he ushered as your moaning grew louder with every thrust of his body. Your eyes squeezed shut as Dean’s movements grew harder and harder. 

“Come for me Y/N.” he whispered and that was what pushed you straight over the edge. Dean’s thrust didn’t falter as you came, body twitching with the wave of pleasure that crashed through your core. Then you felt him reach the peak of his pleasure thrusting into you and movements sputtering as his body went limp against yours, holding you tightly. 

He fell down next to you, embracing you and pulling you close to him. Resting his chin on your shoulder, kissing your shoulder as both of you regained your breath. 

“Everything with you in, is better.” he whispered. You smiled, 

“You have to tell me that because we just had sex.” you joked. He chuckled, 

“Very true, but I don’t lie.” he answered back, squeezing you ever so slightly. 

“Don’t leave.” he murmured against your skin. 

“Never again.” you whispered back as you both drifted off into a deep sleep, knowing that you were in the arms of the only person that has ever truly cared, seen and loved you for you.