#and he needs to like firstly fully and honestly acknowledge that

[youarejustintime]

Before playing Before the Storm, I honestly didn’t think I would have so many feelings about Rachel Amber but oh boy, here we are.

I just want to start off by saying that I am a Rachel defender through and through. I will die on this hill. Call me Chloe Price because I am president of the Rachel Amber fan club. 

The belief that Rachel had no care or compassion for Chloe and was only using her is insane to me. We are talking about a 15 year old girl who feels like she has to be everything for everyone all the time while still maintaining perfect grades and a perfect reputation. She has a broken family with a father who is a master manipulator so of COURSE Rachel knows how to manipulate, it’s all she’s ever learned and she thinks that’s how you have to move through life. Chloe is the first person she’s ever met that she could maybe be real with and she doesn’t know how to handle that emotionally. She does love Chloe, she just doesn’t know how to show it very well because it’s never been demonstrated to her.

When talking about Rachel, I think we need to remember that she is a victim, right up until she was buried, and even during her burial, she was victimized. Even her body could not get the peace it deserved. 

Firstly, she was 100% a victim of her family. The mother who was sick and couldn’t recover for her until it was too late, the mother who lived a lie Rachel’s entire life and didn’t have the heart to say anything, the father who demonized a hurt woman and refused to get her help, who kept a part of his daughter away from herself, and who would rather hire a hitman to kill her real mother than actually allow them to meet. Say what you want about him doing what he believed was best, he was still wrong.

She was a victim of Frank. I have a lot of mixed feelings regarding Frank in general, however I do believe that this is another case of Rachel being victimized. I’ve seen a lot of “Why would she cheat on Chloe with Frank?” online and it’s baffling. Are we forgetting that Frank is a fully grown adult who is 13 years her senior? Regardless if they started dating after she turned 18 (which we do not know for sure is the case), he still met AND liked her when she was 15 years old (considering in BtS, if you tell Frank over the phone that you’re helping a friend, he asks if it was your friend from the other night at the mill, and agrees to help only because of her). In the diner during the storm, he does acknowledge that she was too young for him, but that he did genuinely care about her, which I don’t doubt, but the relationship is inappropriate regardless. The relationship also likely started because she was a user and running drugs for him as a means to make money to leave town with Chloe, who he believed was “trying to take her away from him,” a sentiment that is common within grooming.

She was a victim of Jefferson, having been coerced into whatever their relationship was, her feelings for him being self-described as “obsessed”. She never truly loved him, only being manipulated into it because she was young and desperately needed a father figure-esque man to make her feel worth something. All he really was was an adult who wanted to do disgusting things to a child.

And lastly, she was a victim of Nathan, who she gave years of friendship to, but he was so broken and so blinded by pleasing his so-called mentor that he allowed her to die and left her in a junkyard like she was garbage.

Rachel was a just baby who was crying for help ever since she moved to Arcadia Bay, and the only one who could hear her was Chloe. Unfortunately, despite doing everything she could, Chloe was also a child who was dealing with her own trauma. She couldn’t always be at Rachel’s side to protect her, and Rachel was scared to tell her the truth in fear of losing her. No one was able to step in to give Rachel what she needed, and she continued to escalate, lash out, and put herself in more and more danger until it led to her death.

[thatgirl4815]

i can’t stop thinking about the episode nine preview because i’m just so curious as to how we get to a point where sand is fully admitting his feelings and not only that but he’s kissing ray.

firstly, ray looks like he’s on a mission in that scene of him telling sand that he won’t let him walk out of his life. i used to be scared of that scene and scared of it really showing ray’s selfishness and feeling of possession over sand but honestly based on the preview and his facial expression in it the scene seems like it’s going to be more of him being desperate for sand to not go. and i also think it would make sense if he’s thinking about his behavior and what he said to sand last episode. i’m not sure it could still end up being another possessive to sand but based on where they end up by the end of this episode or something it’s something that moves sand possibly.

i can maybe imagine sand’s admittance of his feelings is not exactly him expecting anything back and maybe it being him like “yes i like you a lot but i’m not going to be with you obviously and i need to move on and you’re not letting me” just saying his feelings out loud not expecting anything back from ray but then the question is, how do they end up kissing?

i’m also curious about the state of the raymew relationship. i want to believe that it’s going to end before all this happened but i’m nervous that it’s not and ray is going to start his two timer arc. but at the same time, i just can’t imagine sand falling for it? it kind of looks like mea is not flirting back but fine with that one person flirting with him in the preview so that kind of makes me think that they’re done possibly? or maybe it’s just hopeful thinking because i’m getting tired of this plot line fast.

i guess you can say also, if they’re not done, sand might know but i cannot imagine sand ever agreeing to cheating. maybe it’ll be something that just happens and sand did say that he’s never been so yielding to someone in his life so he acknowledges that for ray he do things that he normally wouldn’t but i still can’t imagine it. he’s so forceful about not being the second option i cannot ever imagine him being “the mistress”.

i’m also curious if ray and mew are done and ray wants to let sand know that so they can continue seeing each other why sand allows it or is going to go with it. i want to say sand is just like fuck it i deserve to try but at the same time he’s so serious about not being the second option that i feel like ray had to have said something important or really genuine? because I feel like sand would be like “ok so you want to come back to me because you and mew broke up absolutely not”

and real quick i’m not saying that’s how i feel btw. i think it’s completely fine if ray decides he wants to try to move on with sand finally because he likes sand and sand likes him and it’s ok if he still is in love with mew and has lingering feelings he can try to move on and be with sand and i wouldn’t really view that as sand being a second option anymore personally. feelings are just so complicated that sometimes the “rebound” and “second choice” talk annoys me. but for SAND i don’t know if sand would want that or view it the same. i don’t even know i just hope whatever they’re gonna do makes sense for a sand’s character because i have loved how he’s been betrayed so far and i refuse to believe that he would be so easy to give completely especially after last episode.

Yeah, Ray must do one hell of a job convincing Sand that he’s the only option next episode. In all reality, I think it will be a mixture of Ray being more honest and open with Sand about his feelings and Sand’s own leniency with Ray in general that does it.

I also can’t imagine Sand putting up with any form of cheating. I think Ray will have to say point blank that he’s not really with Mew, or that their relationship was just for fun but isn’t serious. I’d really prefer if Mew and Ray have a discussion about their relationship (and why it doesn’t work) preceding this, but that’s probably wishful thinking.

I feel very good about Sand’s level of self-respect despite his admitted leniency towards Ray. Last episode really solidified that Sand’s got a soft spot for him, but he’s not willing to compromise that if Ray doesn’t show him that he’s his #1 option too. I’m confident Ray won’t just bat his eyelashes and that’ll be all it takes to convince Sand to forget about his toxic behavior. At the same time, I do see a lot of empathy in Sand—I think he sees what Ray is going through in a way his friends don’t. And I believe a large part of that is because they’ve all known Ray for longer, so they’ve formed an idea of him in their heads involving his alcohol use and behavior. But Sand can be more objective, and I think that’s exactly what Ray needs right now.

About Ray’s feelings for Mew: I think it’s unrealistic to assume that Ray will be able to move past his feelings for Mew fully in a short amount of time. Even if he does move past them eventually, I think a small part of him will always love Mew purely because he was the one who came when he called two years ago. But I agree with you that having love for Mew doesn’t automatically make Sand Ray’s second option. Ray can admit that a romantic relationship with Mew doesn’t work, but that doesn’t mean he has to let go of those feelings for Mew altogether. (I also don’t think Sand fully expects anything different; he just wants proof that Ray is committed to him romantically above everyone else.) Despite what people say, it’s not inherently wrong to have feelings for more than one person, but it’s how those feelings manifest and develop that is so crucial.

[not-poignant]

Thanks for answering my ask about Arden’s POV! Makes total sense. Totally different style question, but in your opinion will Gwyn and Ef be able to come together again in the far future and have a relationship of some sort with heavy boundaries, or will it be better for them to not ever speak again? I could see it both ways so I am curious. Anyway thanks for writing! FFS has become a comfort fic for me as a “bad” ocd haver…

Hi hi

Yes! Actually that's very much what I imagine (that they do meet up again in the future). The reason Efnisien cut Gwyn off now was, in many ways, so that they could have some kind of connection in the future.

If things continued as they were now they would have never learned how to be healthy together. For a start, Gwyn had zero accountability for his own actions, because anything toxic he did, he threw under the 'you started it' bus. Which is not useful to, well, anyone. Even Gwyn. Gwyn's only going to learn that accountability with better therapy, and some time to actually process his childhood and what he experienced.

Likewise, Efnisien needs to learn how to respect himself around folks like Gwyn, and how to stand up for himself and his boundaries healthily. Gwyn violated his boundaries literally every single visit they ever had, and even the times Efnisien did weakly try to stand up for himself, Gwyn consistently and repeatedly ignored him. It's safe to say that was happening for years before this story started. So Efnisien certainly needs to learn to a) stand up for himself more firmly around Gwyn and b) walk away with a strong 'if you keep treating me like this you do not get my presence, period' if Gwyn ignores him.

I do think they can get there with time (a significant amount of time, like a decade or two). I think especially once Efnisien doesn't need Gwyn in any shape or form, and Gwyn has sort of learned some perspective on how he wants to treat people in general, including people that treated him badly (i.e. if he wants to go down the path of Lludd, which he's tentatively done already (Gwyn is, actually, extremely violent, and attempted to murder Efnisien, and did not stop himself - but was stopped by Augus), or if he actually wants to develop a personal ethical code, which Efnisien is lightyears ahead of vs. him - largely because of choices Efnisien was forced to make, and Hillview).

Honestly I like to imagine that one day they do meet, and Efnisien has pet dogs (or a pet dog) of his own, and as soon as Gwyn looks at them like 'oh god what are you doing to them' Efnisien's like 'right, see ya!' because he's just not going to put up with that anymore after the years and years and years of hard work he's done on himself. And then at their second meeting, Gwyn is much better lmao, and he actually gets to know Efnisien as a person, and they start figuring out a new path forward together. :)

[lululawrence]

Can u please be nicer on ao3? Maybe you should try answering people's comments

when i read the first line i was honestly flabbergasted and wracking my brain trying to figure out when in the world i wasn't nice on ao3 ever. because i honestly truly try to be nice to everyone always, even when i'm angry or frustrated or people are going after those i love and want to protect. if there was a time i WASN'T nice on ao3, i wondered if it was maybe because my comment had been misunderstood or someone saw me razzing an author i'm good friends with and they didn't get that we are close and i said what i did with so much love and appreciation, you know? like what??? did i do???

but then i read your second line. and please forgive me if i come off as rude in my response to this, because honestly i'm in a pretty bad spot mentally and emotionally in general right now, but PARTICULARLY today, and this ask triggered an anxiety response in me. so. i'm trying really hard to word this in a way to educate without being condescending or mean, but i might not succeed.

firstly, thank you for your comments i'm assuming you've left. i'm also assuming they were nice comments, in which case extra thanks. i'm sure i'll send you effusive responses on ao3 when the time comes.

secondly, please understand that sending an ask like this, on anonymous no less, is incredibly entitled. writing is not my profession, i receive no compensation for my works that i post for free online, and as a part of that it is not required of me to respond. i do my very best to reply to every comment i receive, but it is not always in a timely manner, because i have other priorities in my life. all of which leads us to my third point, which is:

writers do not owe you a reply to your comments. end of. there are no other qualifications or quantifying modifiers to be added to the statement. is it nice to be acknowledged and know your comment was seen? sure. but do they OWE you one? hell no.

in fact, i'd like to offer you a suggestion. a way of tweaking your thinking about the comments you leave on fics. instead of looking at comments you leave as being something that deserves a reply from the author, think of your comments as your way of paying the author for the gift of their time and talents that they have shared with you by posting their fic. that's how i think of the comments i leave for authors. i'm giving them my thanks for the words they've shared! i want to help THEM feel as amazing as they have made ME feel when i read their fic. in fact, my hope isn't necessarily a response from them, but instead my hope is THE GIFT OF THEM SHARING MORE FIC WITH ME. i'm a selfish bitch in that way and i always want all the fic to read. i never want that well to go dry. one way i can ensure that doesn't happen is by supporting authors and being kind to them and spreading all the love and excitement i can about their writing in the hopes that my words will inspire them to share more.

because whether they reply or not, i GUARANTEE they are seeing your comments. i PROMISE they are. and for all you know, your comment might be the one that keeps them writing even when their words aren't coming easily or when they are tempted to give up.

but, again, please remember that no matter what, these authors (including me) don't actually owe you anything.

the rest of this is going under a cut, because honestly my reply is already far too long and i have a LOT more to say now that you've gotten me started.

now, all of this in mind, i'll explain to you why i'm not great with keeping up with comments made on my fics the last couple of years. i don't owe you this explanation any more than i owe you a response to your comments, and i'm honestly not sure you deserve this explanation either, but i'll still offer it anyway. it'll help me feel better knowing i at least put this out there, whether you care or not, mainly because if i don't do that it will cause me greater anxiety having you possibly think i am not responding to people because i feel all high and mighty or that i think i'm better than the comments or whatever the fuck kind of motivation you're attributing to me to see my lack of a response as something "not nice" towards the commenters.

i'm not sure if you've noticed, but i put out a lot of fic. like a lot. a lot of words and shit. i love writing, it's often my therapy and a way for me to help keep my anxiety and depression and ptsd at bay.

now, more personal shit for you, i've got three kids ages 9 and under. the oldest has adhd which we have yet to find a med for that helps to the extent she needs without side effects that aren't healthy for her to continue with, she also has anxiety, AND she's extremely gifted and starting a new program at a new school, all in the midst of a pandemic. and all of those situations exacerbate her anxiety! huzzah! she's also dealing with the beginning of her tween growing up shit, which is great fun because it means where she used to be pretty damn understanding of her younger brother, she is finding it much more difficult to. because the second oldest? he's autistic with some pretty significant gross motor, speech, and socialization delays that have only been exacerbated because of the previously mentioned pandemic. PLUS he transitioned from his special needs preschool to a fully integrated elementary school for kindergarten last year and then had to deal with all the ups and downs of the switch from e-learning to hybrid to all in schooling when everything in him screams for a normal schedule he can rely on to keep his own anxieties and fears and struggles at their minimum. and that youngest child? he was born in january of last year. he STILL barely leaves the house and has only met other children in close range a couple of times because, once again, pandemic!

add onto all of this my own mental health issues, the fact that my husband ALSO battles major clinical depression, adhd, and anxiety, AND we live with my parents who have their own health issues, both mental and physical. i run the home for our house of seven. i keep this place functioning, fed, clothed, clean, and everywhere we need to be for all of our five million appointments every. fucking. day. there is a REASON i've been borderline burnt out for the last fucking year and a half.

now, for fun, i have fandom shit. i love it here, even if it is a dumpster fire on the best of days, and getting to be a part of the writing community is so very lovely. i adore it. honestly, it's because of those friendships i've built with other writers that i have been able to keep writing and have found just how helpful it can be for my mental health. but i'm REALLY. INCREDIBLY. BUSY. i hardly have time to get on tumblr for just a quick swipe through my dash most days. i put off asks so long i forget i have them. i don't have the mental and emotional capacity to talk to people on here or interact fully a lot of the time. but i do my best to do so and be kind while i'm at it even when i don't want to be.

then, on top of that? i also run fic fests like @wordplayfics and help friends run their own. because not only am i a writer, i'm a reader. i LOVE fic. fic has saved me soooooo many times over the past seven years that i've been here. i want to do what i can to support other writers the best way i can, which is to provide a space for them to create their works that welcomes and helps promote them, but also by doing my monthly fic lists and pocast highlighting what i've been able to read, reblogging their fic posts, and then commenting and kudosing their fics too.

sometimes i get really fucking down on myself because i'm so behind on replying to comments, but my brain is very much a "if you start this, you have to finish it" kind of a brain, and i feel even WORSE sometimes if i reply to comments on some fics and not all of them. but i do my best and reply when i can. i was actually really fucking proud of myself because i had a couple days to myself in june, and i spent hours replying to comments on 20 of my fics. when you have almost 150 fics (i think? i don't even know how many fics i've posted by now), that is only scratching the surface. but i tried and i was so so happy i did that many fics at once. it's exhausting, though, and takes a lot of spoons for me to reply to them in mass like that plus time consuming. so i tried to be happy with those 20 fics and the comments i responded to there and told myself that when i ha a moment to breathe, i'd go and work on replying to some more.

but see, that again causes anxiety and guilt. because i haven't replied to all of them. and that anxiety and guilt can cause me to put it off further OR to put off important things like feeding my children or getting sleep in order to finish it, so i have to make myself put things into perspective and ensure i'm doing the important things, like taking care of myself and my family, first.

and then, i have a moment where i CAN go ahead and reply to comments... but i also have MANY fics that are on deadline and i actually have a schedule. a SCHEDULE. for when i'm going to focus on which fics. i can spell it out for you if you really want. i made it back in APRIL to make sure i didn't sign up for too many fic fests because there are so many going on right now that i want to participate in, but i know i can't do all of them so i had to pick and choose. and when you are SO overscheduled and busy that back in APRIL you had to figure out what fics you would focus on at what time to ensure you got everything written when you wanted to through THE END OF THE YEAR, more choices have to be made.

for example. my writing time and time for myself came down to only one evening a week for ALL fandom things i'm doing and a part of right now once the kids were out of school for the summer. it quickly became apparent that for my own self care i needed more time, so i worked with my husband to find two other days i could carve out at least 30-60 minutes to myself to write every week. and i did. but if i'm already only getting that much time and have committed to those fics and fests and things that you're running etc, you have to choose am i going to use this time to try to squeeze in some comment replies? or am i going to write? and i choose to write. simple as that.

so yeah. see it as selfish if you want. see it as mean. you can honestly see it as whatever the fuck you want, but for me? i know that as soon as i possibly can and i can breathe freely for once and not feel like i am constantly drowning in my day to day life and am doing pretty well when it comes to my fic deadlines and getting started on those christmas cards i'm once again going to be making by hand for everyone on tumblr who chooses to sign up for one this year out of the KINDNESS of my heart and the love i really do feel for so many of you, then i promise i'll be on ao3 catching up and commenting. my friends laugh and make fun of me for it sometimes, because they will sometimes get 10-12 replies to their comments in a single day. they know that's how i work. i WILL reply to every single comment i get, no matter how old it is. but for the love of all that is holy, do NOT add to the anxiety and guilt i already feel over it. the only place that will get you is the ask/comment getting deleted if it's a good day, a fucking long rant like this one if it's not, and a block if it's a REALLY bad day.

if you're asking me to be nice on ao3, then i ask in return that you also be nice by not demanding things of people that they are not in any way obligated to give.

[cube-cumb3r]

The Means Reflect On The Ends Actually, (c!Dream & the conditioning of Exile)

What was the point of exile, storywise? What does it say about c!Dream? Sure, it’s showcasing how far he’s willing to go to achieve his own ends, but I don't think all discussion about what exile tells us about c!Dream should start and end there.

Dream is not cruel for cruelty’s sake. Dream’s end goal is not to hurt as many people as possible. He views his cruelty are “necessary evils”, and he doesn’t dwell much on whether the things he does are “good” or “bad”. He’s fully aware he’s hurting people and he ultimately thinks that hurting people, to the extent that he does, is worth it. That being said, while Dream has an ends justify the means mindset, but the truth is, the means absolutely reflect on the ends. His true intentions aren’t a mystery, it’s very clear in the text that his ultimate goal is unity, but why does he want unity? And what would said unity entail?

(Before this essay starts I have to do an ad break to promo @daggryet's very helpful [transcriptions from the exile streams], which I'll be using a lot of. Thanks for the very helpful resource.)

TW: Relatively extensive discussion abt the abuse in exile arc & the effects of said abuse.

Firstly, I don't think you should deny his relationship to control. A through-line of his character is achieving harmony through control, and more specifically, obedience. There’s a reason why he tends to single out Tommy the most. It’s not actually because Tommy is remarkably more troublesome than anyone else on the server, but rather, because his disruptive nature is at Dream’s expense. Tommy is the only character who’s consistently over and over again refused to respect Dream’s authority, and though he isn’t particularly threatening on his own, it’s the sentiment itself that’s dangerous. Similarly, this is why he has consistently targeted L’manburg, moreso than any other faction on the server such as, say, Badlands, El Rapids. It’s almost as if they represented the sentiment, “Hey, why are we listening to you anyway? Why can’t we be listening to anyone else?”, which is why he crushed them, over, and over again. What if everyone figures out they can just stop listening to him? What then?

We talk a lot about the effects exile had on Tommy, and rightfully so, but we don’t talk enough about what Dream was actually doing. What was the purpose of exile? Was it just a way to get closer to the discs? Just a means to an end? What was the end?

TOMMY: What, what could you possibly want more from me? You’ve tortured me.

DREAM: I’m just keeping an eye on you, Tommy.

TOMMY: What does that mean?!

DREAM: I’m just, I’m making sure that you’re not up to no good.

TOMMY: But, how, you’ve exiled me, you fucking stupid, manipulative fucking green bastard!

DREAM: I know! And you know why I did that?

TOMMY: Yes? 

DREAM: No, you know why?

TOMMY: Why?

DREAM: Because you don’t listen to me ever, you’re the only person who doesn’t ever listen to me. If I tell you to do something, you’re like “no, fuck you!”, and you go and like do like the exact opposite.

[full transcription]

As much as I have to preface this with that this is speculative and we may not have any irrefutable confirmation, I think it's very likely that it's literally just what Dream is saying he's doing. Tommy is the one person who refuses to listen to him, and he wants him to listen. Exile was not only conditioning Tommy to believe that nobody other than Dream cares about him, not only conditioning Tommy to be entirely reliant on him, but also conditioning Tommy to listen to him, without question, without disobeying. And that is such a significant and reoccurring motif for it to arguably just be the intended reading of exile.

Abuse is a vague term that encompasses a lot of abusive practices. There are a good handful that apply to exile, I'm sure if you ask someone qualified they'll be able to provide you a nice handy list, but ultimately, all of them target Tommy's own sense of agency and autonomy, and it all revolves around power and control. Dream creates rituals purely to disarm him, threatens him and punishes him when he doesn't listen, and rewards him when he complies (or rather, conditions Tommy into thinking that not being punished is a reward).

TOMMY: [begins throwing his armor and axe down for DREAM to explode.]

DREAM: No, no, it’s fine.

TOMMY: Re-really?

DREAM: Yeah. Today’s the party, right?

---

TOMMY: So when can I- no, I wanna go back. I… hey, thanks for letting me keep my armour today.

DREAM: You’re welcome.

TOMMY: Kinda nice of you.

[full transcription]

Dream isn’t only hurting Tommy for the sake of hurting him. People tend to frame it as if Dream Just Hates Tommy, but that’s not true. He finds Tommy fun, in a twisted way. There are a lot of moments in exile where they’re both on very good terms and Dream is friendly with Tommy. But, it's also all part of horror of exile, making Tommy reliant on him and his company, getting him to doubt his sense of reality, making him question whether his friends back in L’manburg ever cared about him at all, and possibly questioning whether he’s imagining the abuse as well, Dream is so kind to him after all, why would he ever want to hurt him?

Over the course of exile Tommy agency and sense of self start to deteriorate as well as his mental health, he starts worrying about what Dream would think, starts asking Dream for permission, going out of his way to avoid upsetting him, his only friend, his only reliable caring companion.

TOMMY: Yeah, so I’m thinking we- and then I can- but the thing is; so recently my buddy, Dream, has been doing this thing where he, uhm… it makes sense, though, because I’m not in his land anymore, but he takes my shit from me, so I need to make sure- […]

---

RANBOO: Yeah, so what do you say- does Dream like take your armor? Is that what you said?

TOMMY: I don’t know, he just- hey man, I just follow the boss.

[full transcription]

TOMMY: “Visit Techno” no, no, what would Dream think? […]

---

TOMMY: I’ve had a little idea, by the way, and I wanna know what you think, and also if I’m allowed

DREAM: Okay?

[full transcription]

TOMMY: Yeah, I know he’s actually - he’s sort of my- he’s borderline my owner, Big Q, so I’m not really sure.

MEXICAN DREAM: He’s your dad?

TOMMY: No, no-

MEXICAN DREAM: Ey! Ey, Papa Thomas!

TOMMY: No, no, we’re- as in labor.

MEXICAN DREAM: You gotta teach your child some manners.

[full transcription]

Dream’s outburst in exile after finding Tommy’s chests, is arguably one of Dream's most emotionally honest (and reckless) moments in exile considering it was what made Tommy realize he needed to save himself and escape. And it's punishing Tommy for going behind his back and planning to revolt.

TOMMY: I’m really, no, I’m really sorry, though. Why don’t we just pretend this never- yeah, let’s, shall we just pretend this-?

DREAM: Sorry doesn’t cut it, Tommy. Listen, I’ll leave you here to think about what you did-

TOMMY: What about the nether? What about the nether, my friends, what-?

DREAM: No! You can’t go to the nether, no one can come here, you are alone, okay? As soon as I think that you have changed, have become somebody who isn’t going to hide and lie and try and revolt; then people can visit you again. You can go to the nether again. But for now - no, no one can. You- I was being very lenient. Yesterday I let you go into the Dream SMP on a temporary pass, and then what do I find out the next day?

TOMMY: I’m so sorry.

DREAM: I have been nothing but gracious to you. Tommy. Think about what you did.

---

Exile wasn’t only a means to getting closer to the discs or getting Tommy out of the way. Exile was a means to conditioning Tommy into listening and respecting Dream as his superior. Dreams solution to Tommy being disruptive and troublesome was to [physically beat], emotionally abuse, and psychologically condition him into obedience. Only seeing exile as a testament to how far how willing he was go to meet his ends is reductive, and not acknowledging what Dream considers to be a “problem” and what he considers to be “solutions” is to not engage with his worldview. You have to take exile into account and what it actually says about his ideals of harmony and unity.

---

TOMMY: I can’t go back… I can’t go back, and see my friends and see Tubbo. This is a shithole! He wasn’t- he wasn’t here ‘cause he was my friend. He was here to- what did he say on the first day? Got a little bug that he can’t flig off? I’m the only person who never does exactly what he says?

TOMMY: I’m the only person who never does what he says. Me! He said that to me, didn’t he?

TOMMY: He was here to watch me.

[full transcription]

Dream’s relationship to Tommy can (and honestly should) be compared to his relationship to the entire server at large. Not to imply that He Literally Wants To Abuse The Server, but rather the he views the server revolting as a problem, and the solution? Well. The [prison]. The hall of attachments. It’s no surprise that the disc war, a conflict that was initially only primarily between Dream and Tommy*, is suddenly about everyone. Bargaining and blackmailing using attachments, something Dream initially only subjected Tommy to, to keep him under his control, is now a means to control everyone.

Is Dream's goal of unity for the sake of the overall happiness and quality of life of the people living within said unity? I don’t doubt that this at some point in time was true. But, the fact that he’s willing to ruin lives and long-term psychologically destroy people over it, means that his goal isn’t unity for the sake of the people living in his ideal version of the server, but at their expense. Him believing he needs to control people to maintain unity and harmony means that he believes himself to know what's best for people moreso than the people themselves, and therefore he's the only one responsible enough to make decisions for them. And it also means that his motives has warped and twisted overtime, it’s likely that he’s become so fixated on the goal of unity itself that he’s lost track of why he wanted it in the first place.

Anyway. Stop buying into Dream's own self-justification of "ends justify the means" and put his deeply flawed and broken worldview and view of people under a little bit of goddam scrutiny.

[stanevansgossip]

Hii!! I really liked your pinned post and I hope you can create this safe space here. And I would like to know your opinion about sebastian and alejandra

hi anon ❤

and yes me too, i really want to create a safe space for everyone.

and ah Sebastian and Ale, this is a big one:

firstly, i dont think they are PR or fake, i also dont think they ever were imo.

I think they were introduced through Jon K, and talked on the phone for a bit or maybe met before ( i think this is contested, i have no idea how they started honestly) but i think those Yacht pics, thats when their relationship became legit and serious.

I think Seb was really alone during the pandemic, i think it really got to him and he wanted someone, i think he jumped into this relationship with Ale in big part because of the loneliness he felt during the initial lockdown. i think Ale is carefree, and always laughing and partying and having a good time, always traveling 🤡 and just lives life without a care, which appealed to seb because he wanted that happy carefree life and he wanted to be happy.

Sebastian seems to want a women who is beautiful and kind, but isn't more intelligent then him and doesn't criticise him, but constantly praises him ( i dont mean this in a negative way, this is just my opinion ), he seems to want someone who doesn't challenge him but follows him. and to each their own, but i think this is exactly who Ale is, and honestly she seems like she fits into his friend group perfectly.

personally, i think Seb needs more, someone who is closer to his age, someone who is more intellectual ( now obviously i dont know ale - so she could be very smart who knows? this is just my opinion) someone who will challenge him.

Now do i think Seb and Ale love each other = yes

do i think they are in love with each other = maybe

do i think they will continue to be in-love with each other= No.

I dont see them lasting tbh, but i do think they will be together for a long time. this relationship just seems so easy for them. They live on opposite sides of the world, they both work, everytime they see eachother lets say only 6/7 months out of a year all they do is travel and party and have fun, its carefree, its easy - they don't seem to have to worry about any of the real serious relationship problems that put strain on couples, they don't seem to argue over big things- because imo i dont think they ever talk about big serious things.

its an easy and carefree relationship, they would break up if they had to face the serious conversation of settling down or falling for someone else - and tbh i dont see this happening at all.

i also kind of have this feeling that maybe in a year or 2 they will get engaged - but being engaged is what makes the realise this isn't right for them and they need more and then they break up. but Seb doesn't seem to want marriage or kids anytime soon, so i hate to break it to everyone but unless they have a big fight they will be together for a long time.

Now for the bad shit:

the travelling - im not going to go into this fully we've all discussed it enough,, but i think it was hypocritical and really kind of made me sad, it seems like they just dont care about the pandemic and are all about living their own lives and having fun.

Cultural Appropriation - ughh, yep- this is also a topic everyone has exhausted, but here is my opinion:

She was ignorant, whether that was because of where she was raised, how she was raised or just a general lack of awareness - she was ignorant. It was not racism it was ignorance.

Now, here is my problem: if she was someone who genuinely cared about being culturally aware and sensitive, if she was someone who could own up to her mistakes and grow from them, if she was someone who felt guilt and regret over offending someone even unintentionally - she would have apologised.

she clearly made mistakes, but the minute she refused to apologise for them, own up to them or even acknowledge them - those mistakes were no longer unintentional mistakes. her ignorance was no longer ignorance, because now she is aware she did something wrong- and she has CHOSEN to not apologise.

she doesn't care. and that is disgusting to me.

yes, i agree however that the main reason people are continuously bringing up her cultural appropriation is because she is dating seb- but it doesn't matter why- it still exists. and she wont apologise. and even if she did now, i personally feel it is too late.

Now in saying all this, i think it is disgusting the way some of Seb's fans treat her- the bodyshaming, the slutshaming, the racism and bullying - that is not ok.

she is an ignorant rich white girl. yes.

but be better than her, dont be bullies because you think she is awful, be better. We have exhaustedly pointed out her ignorance, she knows it, sebastian knows it, everyone knows it - so let it go, she will never apologise, seb will never address it and harassing them in their comments everyday, it makes you just as bad as them.

personally, i feel that the harder your try to break seb and ale up the more they will want to stay together to prove a point, to not let you get to them- the harder you push them to fail the stronger they will be - SO IGNORE THEM, make them lose all the attention we give them, stop giving a shit - and i guarantee, eventually they will just end it on their own.

there are so many more important issues you can be using this energy to help, so many petitions, awareness campaigns - things that will actually make a difference. please, put your negative energy into doing something good, attacking Ale ( an ignorant rich white girl who will never be affected by anything we could throw at her ) is not worth it.

SPREAD KINDNESS ALWAYS ❤

[impaladolan]

Capture - Grayson Dolan [3/-]

summary: everything has started to whirlwind around Y/N as she realizes what predicament she’s in, but is consoled by her captor.. her nameless captor..

warnings: smut & slight fluff :/

a/n: hey, this is part THREE of this little series! if you haven’t, check out part one and two before reading this, or you might be a little confused :) enjoy!

"Don't you make one fucking sound.."

To his hoarse words, your teeth instantly clamped shut around your bottom lip and you closed your eyes in anticipation. You expected to be ruthlessly grabbed and shoved into by his cock, but the slowness of your panties being pulled down your legs and the ever so soft touches of his long fingers against your inner thighs brought you a surprise. And suddenly, the world began spinning around you the moment you felt his thick, and warm tongue glide against your soaked folds. The pit of your stomach shuttered in the overwhelming pressure he had against your extremely sensitive nub, something you have been day-dreaming about ever since you first saw him.

He was slow— almost passionate with the way he moved his pleasureful tongue around your pussy, slurping your arousal like it was a glass of ice water on a hot day. Your hips slowly rolled against his mouth, unintentionally, and your head fell back against the soft mattress beneath you. Your hot breaths filled the absence of sound, as well as his lapping and frustrated groans from underneath you. It seemed purely magical when he creeped one of his thumbs to your bundle of nerves, swiftly rubbing it in small circles. It made your breath become caught within your throat and had your own fingers running through his heavenly soft hair. The way his gruff groans and grunts vibrated through your core and up your spine made it excruciatingly difficult to keep your sounds to yourself.

You had had it when his only free hand crept up through your gown and wrapped itself around your breast, caressing the tenderness and softness. When your hips began to buck a bit more violently and the small, quick intakes of breaths that had queued your soon dispatching, he stopped.

He lifted his head from you and licked his lips, flashing a grin your way. "Such a pretty girl, already fucked out and you've barely been touched." He chuckles as he turns back to his little pile of clothes on the floor, snatching them and leaving the room in a hurry.

You were infuriated.

So much so, that you led your own little hand down there and began to rub at yourself, trying to finish off whatever he had started before he could notice anything. You just circled your clit quickly until your high came, and went, before slipping into your comforting bedding, yet again regretting your day's decisions and falling into a deep and useless slumber.

-

When you first wake, you quickly notice the weakness between your legs, like it was missing something, but soon after you feel the stretching of your esophagus. And then you're hit with the reoccurrence of the night before. Again, you had let this unknown man take full control of you and liked it.

How disgusting were you? To enjoy something superbly disturbing? What would your mother think?

You shook your head to your own thoughts, sitting up against the pillows and reaching for the newly placed water bottle on the nightstand. You unscrewed the cap and chugged the liquid until there was no more to be gained from it. It at least soothes the aching you felt in your throat, but nothing could stunt the aching and needing pains that your pussy was currently throbbing with.

You didn't feel an ounce of drowsiness at the beginning of the day, like you had the days prior. You felt fully regenerated and well awake. Maybe now you'd be in touch with your morals and mature senses. It has become terribly boring in this room, staring at the walls and ceiling for what seems like hours doesn't help the fact. You would've gotten up and explored your confinement space, but you were terrified he'd make an appearance the moment you step on the ground.

You actually haven't seen him at all today.

You didn't really have a source of time, but by the way the sun was sat in the sky, you had gone a whole entire day without a thing to eat or drink, which angered you. He should at least have enough courtesy to provide meals for your famished self if he's gonna keep you hidden in this place for so long. But then again, you were forcefully kidnapped from a bench only days ago, and could be kept in much worst conditions than you are now. With that simple thought, a tear had formed, watering and blurring your eyesight. Without any consent from your own self, tear after tear began to trail down your frozen cheeks, staining them a darker red. You didn’t even realize you were crying until an explosion of hiccups began to sound from your mouth and send you into a sobbing mess. Your throat began to burn as well as your eyes and your stomach began to lurch within its self, while your head became pained with all the activity that’s happening. You grab one of the pillows laying behind you and squeeze it against you roughly, trying to soothe the discomfort and agony of your new coming realizations. The flow of your tears and whimpers only strengthened, like your body was combusting with the amount of held back frustration you had. The streams of tears began to pool at the bottom of your chin and roll down your neck in thick waves.

You weren’t too sure why you were crying, but it made you feel a little better.

Your sobbing hadn’t come to a stop when the door soundlessly opened and closed. You didn’t even hear him enter, let alone sit beside you. When his large and warm arms wrapped around your small, shuttering frame, you helplessly fell into them. You let go of the pillow and snuck your arms around his muscular torso, squeezing him tighter than you did the pillow as you uncontrollably cry in the crook of his neck. “Why? Why’d you trap me here?” You hardly whispered, but his heart sank deep in his chest the moment you acknowledged him.

He didn’t have an answer. He just swayed the two of you back and forth, easing you into a peaceful sleep that you truly didn’t want, or need. You weren’t awakened when he had easily lifted you up, and carried you away from your enclosed space, leading the two of you down the hallway until he was at the threshold of his own door. He didn’t need to think twice before quietly opening it and settling you on his much more comfortable bed, leaving the lights off and classical music on in the background. He understood your saddened questioning, but he just couldn’t do anything about it quite yet..

-

You awoke for what seemed like the fiftieth time in a place you didn’t recognize. Instead of the boring grey walls and the one gold-trimmed painting, you were surrounded by pristine white walls with a few different posters of musicians you didn’t really know, except Tame Impala. Your heart almost skipped a beat as your eyes scanned the poster that had tour dates and the songs from the 2015 Currents album.

What a coincidence?

You drew your eyes away from it and settled them on the man sitting in the chair in the corner. Again, your heart leaped out of your chest from slight terror. You hadn’t noticed him before, but he seemed harmlessly asleep. Though his presence slightly angered you, he really did look peaceful and almost cute, snoozing away in the little recliner. A smart person would’ve ran to the door and exited the house as quick as possible and make it to freedom, but your head really wasn’t in the right place for the moment. You just sat there, silently interrogating the nameless man snoring in the corner.

He hasn’t been anything but nice to you, except for the lack of food and water. You faintly remember him saying something about knowing you, but everything’s truly a fog and you can’t tell whether anything is a dream or real life, since you’ve been sleeping entirely too much. Hell, you can’t even recall how you were placed in this room, or why.

But you liked it a lot better than the original room you were in. It’s not freezing cold in this bedroom, it’s comfortably warm and soothing with some sort of autumn smelling candle. Even the few little Halloween decorations around the room, which are slightly early, made this place feel a lot more homely than it should. Because honestly, you shouldn’t be “enjoying” being kidnapped/stolen by some nameless hot guy.

Speaking of, what the hell is his name?

Suddenly, the so-called nameless man begins to shift in his seat, his eyes slowly opening and widening as they adjust to the small light surrounding him. The only light within the room was the window, which displayed the day’s dark overcast from the soon-coming rain. Once he’s familiar with his own room, his eyes land on yours, a sheepish smile covering his lips compared to your stern one. “Good morning, sweetheart.” He firstly says before stretching his arms above his head and letting in a deep yawn.

“Cut the shit, sweetheart. I want to know why I’m here and when I’m allowed to leave, now.” You mock with a darkened voice, just to get your serious point across. He exhaled a large breath and stands to his feet, shuffling over to his dresser, probably finding a shirt since he feels the need to be shirtless all the time..

“Listen, I want details. I’m tired of fucking waking up and falling asleep in a strangers home. So if you could politely drop me off at my own house within the next hour, I won’t press charges. Fair and simple.” You almost plead as he takes his time looking through the drawers of his dresser. His silence and slowness was beginning to get in your nerves. It’s a large pet peeve of yours when you aren’t directly answered.

“Love to, but can’t.” He just simply answers with that, throwing a white shirt over his head and fitting it upon the rest of his body. You internally groan to his statement, shifting your eyes to the doorknob that looked very much enticing. Your head began forming a plan b, if bribing him doesn’t go too well.

“Please..?” You surprised yourself with the stupidly seductive voice you used, something you do to get what you want with men, and it most generally works. “Maybe.” He shrugs, carelessly. He seemed so disinterested and distracted to care about any of the words you were uttering. He strides over to his connecting bathroom, slightly closing the door to piss and brush his teeth.

I guess we’re going straight to plan b, huh?

You hobble out of bed and quietly walk towards the door, successfully letting yourself out without notice. Holy shit. You sprint down the somewhat familiar hallway, around a corner and through the kitchen and what seems to be a living room, until you see a front door looking exit. You immediately scram towards it and unlock the handle and the two deadbolts, successfully pulling it open and letting the outside air smack you right in the face.

Freedom at last.

You run outside, not even caring to close the door, and sprint straight towards the tall fence, the eerie tree-covered surroundings offsetting you slightly. Nevertheless, you ran as fast as possible to the nearest fence sticking your foot in one of the holes to begin your climb. “Hey, get back here!” His low, demanding voice rang through your ears, but you didn’t stop there. You kept climbing, as fast as possible, nearing the top of the fence. You didn’t have the heart to look back and see where he was, you just kept climbing to what would hopefully be safety. The moment you make it to the top to swing your other leg over the fence—

You feel a hand attach to your bare foot..

(masterlist)

[luxurybrownbarbie]

Firstly, I am sending you well wishes with regards to what is going on in your life. It seems, based or your post, you are having a hard time. So good luck❤ Also take as much time as you need to answer this.  This is going to be pretty lengthy. I will also be asking a few personal questions, so I hope you do not mind. I don't mean to be intrusive rather I am aiming to be educated and to hear different perspective of people who posses knowledge in this area, which I presume you do. Also everything written is meant respectfully. So I have been doing more research on everything concerning level up and hypergamy culture. My interest has definitely been peaked. Where I think my caution lies in this whole culture is the emphasize on age and in relation to that love. Based on my short experience following different sugaring, sex workers level up and hypergamy blogs my out look on love in particular has changed. So to start my two main points. Since the age of women is what is especially emphasized in these above mentioned spaces, how do you navigate this? I am in particular talking about wealthy men for the most part desiring younger women. Not to make this too personal but say for example you and M being close in age is something that happens but that does not seem as common in this culture. But both of you will age. Do you struggle at all with the idea that (for example) M can cheat (this is not at all about the fake assumption of wealthy men cheating more than men who are not wealthy. I know there is no difference between the two. Also knock on wood) or get a divorce leaving you to be with two kids just to start a relationship with a younger woman just because you are not 'young enough' anymore? I feel like it puts a expiration date on a woman which is obviously moronic and untrue in my opinion. I struggle and get a little bit confused specifically when I see these blogs with women saying things like 'you are young and fun, something his wife is not' (or something close to this) as if at some point these women won't be the same ages as these wives being mentioned. I guess this leads to the point of love. Do you believe that there can be genuine love in such relationship? As stated its pretty much a trade: beauty and youth for wealthy and status and vice versa. If one fails or gets away, it will be replaced. How do you not get cynical with these perspective? I have read stories of sex workers and sugar babies on here where the men admitted things such as 'being happy to be with a younger woman because his wife of x years was old and not exciting anymore' (which honestly this is something that happens on the regular with broke men too so I guess this whole section can be lumped into a big 'Is love even worth it at this point' or 'should you fully low your partner is there is a chance of being unfaithful?') My mind is all over the place and I am still trying to cultivate my stance on all of this and see how I want to build my journey. I hope this was somewhat coherent lol.💕 i am probably going to have follow up thoughts and questions

I’m going to answer this in sections.

Firstly, I am sending you well wishes with regards to what is going on in your life. It seems, based or your post, you are having a hard time. So good luck❤

Thank you. Losing people is never easy, but we move.

Also take as much time as you need to answer this.  This is going to be pretty lengthy. I will also be asking a few personal questions, so I hope you do not mind. I don't mean to be intrusive rather I am aiming to be educated and to hear different perspective of people who posses knowledge in this area, which I presume you do. Also everything written is meant respectfully. So I have been doing more research on everything concerning level up and hypergamy culture. My interest has definitely been peaked. Where I think my caution lies in this whole culture is the emphasize on age and in relation to that love. Based on my short experience following different sugaring, sex workers level up and hypergamy blogs my out look on love in particular has changed. So to start my two main points. Since the age of women is what is especially emphasized in these above mentioned spaces, how do you navigate this? I am in particular talking about wealthy men for the most part desiring younger women.

Our society as a whole is incredibly focused on youth. Because of the way it’s set up, youth is the preference, because of work, childbearing, and so forth. It isn’t new, it’s just that swers and to a slightly lesser point, hypergamy blogs discuss age regarding women. It’s a very nuanced discussion though. It’s interlinked with a lot of other societal discussions. For most men, youth makes them feel virile and youthful.

Not to make this too personal but say for example you and M being close in age is something that happens but that does not seem as common in this culture. But both of you will age. Do you struggle at all with the idea that (for example) M can cheat (this is not at all about the fake assumption of wealthy men cheating more than men who are not wealthy. I know there is no difference between the two. Also knock on wood) or get a divorce leaving you to be with two kids just to start a relationship with a younger woman just because you are not 'young enough' anymore?

Our age gap both is and isn’t common. For our peer group and circle of friends and acquaintances, our age gap is normal. We also have friends with age gaps of a couple of decades. If you take a holistic look at our relationship and the steps towards it, especially with my goal being to marry a trust fund kid, it’s in line with the “norm”. In older money circles, there’s large age gaps, and there’s small age gaps. It’s all there. I have to remind people, there’s wealth in all ages.

The guy doesn’t have to be 96 and knocking on death’s door. (Also, with medical advancements being what they are, this probably isn’t a solution for short term gains. That guy could probably live another 8-10 years.)

I don’t fear infidelity. He could cheat, or I could cheat. Both of those are possibilities we could face in our future. How likely they are, who knows. But they are possibilities. Either party could be culpable for cheating. If we get a divorce and he chooses to be with a younger woman, so be it. But I could also go be with a younger man. I might get more questioning looks than he might, but I could do it. I don’t... really care. It sounds flippant, but the two of us have talked about it before. I think in discussions like these, we tend to remove women’s agency. Anything a man could do to end their relationship, a woman can do as well.

Side note, infidelity isn’t a dealbreaker for everyone. Some of our friends literally say they can excuse cheating, but not lying about finances or moving their parents into the house. No joke. Infidelity tends to be the most prominent dealbreaker, but it’s not everyone’s.

I feel like it puts a expiration date on a woman which is obviously moronic and untrue in my opinion. I struggle and get a little bit confused specifically when I see these blogs with women saying things like 'you are young and fun, something his wife is not' (or something close to this) as if at some point these women won't be the same ages as these wives being mentioned.

Thankfully, I haven’t seen that in a while. But I think it was borne out of a bout of cynicism that tends to take hold with this. Yes, we will all age, it’s a natural part of life. But like I said before, society is very youth focused. People acknowledging that youth will be a factor in getting one of these men isn’t a bad thing, it’s the truth. But it’s also a constant reminder to always be building something of your own, because things aren’t always perfect.

I don’t believe women shrivel up and die at 28, nor do I believe every marriage is doomed the minute the woman gets older. I think moving with the idea that all marriages fail once you both get older is very concerning. Very.

I guess this leads to the point of love. Do you believe that there can be genuine love in such relationship? As stated its pretty much a trade: beauty and youth for wealthy and status and vice versa. If one fails or gets away, it will be replaced. How do you not get cynical with these perspective? I have read stories of sex workers and sugar babies on here where the men admitted things such as 'being happy to be with a younger woman because his wife of x years was old and not exciting anymore' (which honestly this is something that happens on the regular with broke men too so I guess this whole section can be lumped into a big 'Is love even worth it at this point' or 'should you fully low your partner is there is a chance of being unfaithful?')

You’re going to be very disappointed if you go through life thinking you shouldn’t love people just because there’s a possibility of infidelity.

Also, saying love isn’t real because is some old men want to have their cake and eat it too is not healthy. Some men just suck. Doesn’t mean they all do.

Love is real. It is. There is a lot of cynicism, but I can tell you, I’m fairly certain 75% of the women who marry wealthy actually like the person. They either find them to be a great companion or a great partner for life.

Possibly building a life with someone you don’t even like is not advice I’ve seen in a very long time, so I would say you need to evaluate each piece of information you get, so you don’t internalize bad advice.

I was cynical for a long time. I drained my SDs dry, didn’t care, and moved forward.

When my goal became marriage, I decided to actually be with someone I loved and liked. It made the lows even more painful, but the highs even better.

There’s many versions of love, many different ideas, and sometimes companionship is the piece people want.

There’s different versions of genuine love, because solely looking at your relationship as a transaction of beauty and power will exhaust you. It’s normal to think about it, casually, but it’s not the center of every discussion.

Entering this world full of cynicism is not smart. You don’t have to be doe eyed and overly optimistic, but you cannot be a cynical woman who doesn’t want to actually be vulnerable with the person she enters into a relationship with, you’ll lose out every time.

The hypergamy journey is about choosing the best partner, one who actually brings something good and doesn’t bring you down. If there’s a connection, either a great friendship or romance. That’s at the heart of it all.

[silvershewolf247]

Honestly it seems like some fans have trouble seem outside of Malcolm's pov, which is understandable given he is the show's protagonist and very sympathetic one at that. That being said regardless of how well intended Malcolm was he did make Ainsley doubt her own sense of reality and was projecting by assuming she wouldn't want to know or couldn't handle knowing. Yes the way Ainsley went about making that point was completely messed up but she did have a point to make.

Okay first things first, sorry it took me so long to get to this, I had a lot of thoughts to put together before I responded because I need to talk about Ainsley. 

I’ll start with the fact that I seem to emphasize with Ainsley more than a lot of people. Maybe it’s because I am the youngest sibling, with older brothers. Maybe it’s because I have “easier mental illnesses” like OCD and ADHD in comparison to others. Maybe it’s the fact that one of my older brothers has much more severe mental health issues and I’ve been reminded how lucky I am in comparison to him and others. Maybe it’s because my mother has been my best friend since I was a teenager. Or maybe it’s because I try to be someone else's emotional support while neglecting my own mental health until I eventually snap. Maybe it’s the fact that supportive figures in my childhood have turned out to be less than ideal as of late. Bottom line, Ainsley is someone I care a lot about, and I need to talk about what is going on with her. And why she isn’t evil or abusive. 

Let’s start out by debunking one argument. That being Ainsley’s lack of remorse over what she has done. Now this argument bothers me for a few reasons. Firstly, because Nicholas Endicott was a monster who deserved what he got and everyone on the show acknowledges that. Like Jessica and Malcolm do not morally disagree with killing him, Malcolm says flat out that he deserves to die. He’s just scared of being like his father and scared of losing his friends, this is an important distinction between him and Ainsley that I will get into. Secondly, we don’t see Ainsley’s initial reaction aside from her nearly crying in Malcolm’s flashback. According to Halston, she found out at some point around episode 4. Martin might have told her during their visit, she might have figured it out reading his journal, it could have been the nightmare she tells her mother about. We don’t know, we just know that by this point she has dealt with it. 

Going back to Malcolm’s fear of losing his friends. Malcolm’s guilt is from having to lie to his found family at the precinct. That is what makes him feel awful. This is something Ainsley does not have. She does not have any found family to lose. Malcolm has to keep lying, Ainsley doesn’t have to. Obviously it eats her up less. Speaking of Ainsley’s support system, or lack thereof, let’s go through it.  Starting up, Jessica, mother of the year, diminishes her daughter's career, blatantly insults her, emotionally neglects her for twenty years and snaps at her whenever she expresses her problems, undermines her issues, this only changes after she murders a man. Next we have Martin Whitly, out of her life for twenty years, literal serial killer, and yet somehow the most emotionally supportive member of her family. Then there’s John Watkins, Mr. Boots, childhood bestie, possible paternal figure, child groomer, who ultimately tries to murder her in favor of her brother. Gil Arroyo, Malcolm’s adopted dad who seems to find her incredibly annoying and only talks with her when somethings wrong. That leaves us with Malcolm, emotionally broken older brother and the only person Ainsley feels she can trust. Yeah, that’s destroyed. Malcolm shattered that trust with his actions. Malcolm is afraid of losing everything, Ainsley already did. 

Now we’re up to Ainsley’s actions in this episode. No they weren’t gaslighting. Malcolm was not forced to question his own sanity or memories due to her actions, he was just scared of her and for her. She just lied to him, an incredibly shitty lie that horrified him, but it was just that, a lie. He also wasn’t breaking down due to it, he was scared for his sister, but he honestly seemed pretty kept together throughout the episode until the end. At which point his frustration seems to stem more from the situation he’s in and what he’s “had” to do for her. Now I fully admit that what Ainsley did was shitty. But it doesn’t make her toxic. If it does, then Malcolm is as well because he does the exact same to the people he investigates. Was it abusive, maybe, but so’s gaslighting your sister, slapping your son, and punching your friend. But these aren’t patterns of behavior, they’re one time things that happened during highly stressful and emotional situations. Speaking of which. 

Yes, Malcolm did gaslight her. Gaslighting is a technique used by a lot of awful people, Malcolm doing it does not make him awful, but he lied to his sister about her memories and perception of the world and it made her emotionally spiral for months. In comparison, Ainsley let this go on for maybe two or three days, a week at most. I’d also be remiss if I didn’t mention that Ainsley gave Malcolm several opportunities to tell the truth. He had the entirety of Bad Manners and Head Case, during both of which she gives him reasons to come out with it and tries to get him to do it. She was trying to make him prove that she could still trust him, he failed to do that until he got a concussion and Ainsley decided to make sure that he never did it again.  

Now Ainsley did something horrible, I fully admit that. That being said, don’t act like Malcolm would have just listened if she told him not to lie to her again. She’s already told him and her mother to stop shielding her. Now there were definitely better ways to do this. Or if she was going to scare him, scaring him and then telling him the truth the next minute, hour, morning, which would still be bad, but less so. But Malcolm is someone who learns a lot better by experiencing than listening. She was trying to show him what consequences his actions could have had. Scaring him straight. She took it way too far, but the motive was understandable. 

Finally I want to dispute this idea that Ainsley is being ungrateful towards Malcolm. Firstly, she thanks him profusely in the first episode of the season. Secondly, she didn’t ask him to do this for her, and the show fully implies he might have screwed them both over by doing this instead of immediately going to the police and claiming self defense. Finally, Ainsley killing Endicott has been thanked by no one. Remember how he was going to have Malcolm sent to prison and only by getting rid of him was Malcolm able to get the DNA evidence properly refuted. One could argue Ainsley took a great risk and saved him too. Ainsley saved Malcolm from prison just as much as Malcolm saved Ainsley. 

Look Ainsley is flawed, I wouldn’t love her if she wasn’t. But let’s not act like she’s crossed the moral event horizon with this. Or that she did this completely unprovoked and everything she said towards Malcolm was invalid. Both of them are broken and in pain and I hope by the end of this they can grow even closer than before. 

[carlatsukinamistolemyhamsandwich]

Carla’s CL Route: A Shin Fan’s Thoughts and Feelings

I have such mixed feelings on this route but I’m going to try and relay them as articulately as I can. Obligatory warning, this post contains massive spoilers for CL (mainly Carla’s route but i’m going to mention some of the other routes too). Now without further ado:

Before I delve into any of the issues I had with this route, let’s start with what I liked. Firstly, I think it’s safe to say that Carla hands down deals with the situation the best after he gets his memories back compared to the other routes I’ve played (Shin’s, Shu’s and Laito’s) and I would be very surprised if any of the other characters are able to handle things as well as he did (although admittedly that’s partly because he’s just so much more powerful than everyone else). I did like that the writers were able to show off how capable he can be, while still bringing up stuff like how it isn’t good at cleaning or cooking.

I liked the plot point about Carla being able to live without Endzeit if they stayed in the miniature garden as I thought it was an interesting concept.

I found it very interesting that Subaru was the only other character to regain his memories in this route, especially given that Carla actually played a role in his LE route which wasn’t the case for any of the other Sakamaki brothers in LE. I can’t help but wonder if the writers have them as a brotp when considering that they were also paired together in the Versus IV CDs. Regardless, I did enjoy seeing their interactions in Carla’s CL route.

The scenes between Carla and Yui after Carla gets his memory back are great and I’m sure Carla fans will have a field day with them.

Now, lets move onto to the issues I personally have with this route.

Because Carla is shown to be so capable, I never really felt fearful for the characters. In contrast, in Shin, Shu and Laito’s routes they all had moments of genuine peril outside of the bad endings, which meant I felt really concerned and was drawn into the story. Carla’s route however, went something like this: Oh no, how are they going to deal with this unexpected development? Ah wait, he solved it in an instant, as expected of Carla I suppose. Oh no, how are they going to deal with this other unexpected situation? Ah no nevermind, he dealt with it right away again... and so on.

This might just be personal preference, but in my opinion if you really want people to get invested in a story, there needs to be some element of risk for the characters (even if you know there’s going to be a good ending). If you take that away, even though the fluffy bits with Carla and Yui were lovely, every time we got to one of the more plot-orientated parts of the story, I’d start to get invested only for there to be no pay off as there never really seemed to be much of a problem in the first place. This is why you have to be a bit careful when coming up with characters to make sure that they have some sort of weakness, otherwise the audience knows they’re going to be fine whatever.

Yes Carla is undoubtedly the strongest of the boys when Karl’s powers aren’t involved (and especially when Endzeit is removed from the picture) but I still feel like there should have been something. We came a little close with Shin getting close to being killed by the Scarlet family but Carla took care of it so easily that it just felt a bit... I don’t know, flat maybe?

And now onto my biggest bugbear of the route: how they handled things with Shin. 

First things first, I am fully aware that I am incredibly biased here and Carla fans, you may see no issues with this route at all and honestly, good on you, I’m glad you enjoyed it, but hopefully after the end of this post you’ll at least understand why I was a little upset.

Things started off really well on this front, I loved the scene where Carla starts to remember things, Shin cuts his arm and then says that seeing Carla kneeling in front of him makes him feel frustrated for some reason. I was pleased when Carla and Yui went to rescue Shin (and by extension Ruki) when they were being attacked by the Scarlet family and the angst when Carla and Yui saw Shin treating Ruki as his big brother. But it then just... went nowhere (well in the Euphoria ending anyway, I’ll get onto that Labyrinth ending later).

The writers threw in some token lines from Shin in chapter 15 sure, but did he get his memories back before they returned to the real world? No. Did we get any sort of scene between Shin and Carla after Shin had gotten his memories back? No. In the route to achieve the Euphoria ending could Shin have stopped existing from about chapter 12 onwards and it wouldn’t have changed anything? Honestly, yes. 

I genuinely don’t think this would have bothered me so much had it not been for two things: 1) how much of a big deal trying to return Carla’s memories was in Shin’s route (although I would never have really expected anything else) and 2) the fact that all of this Shin and Carla angst was dangled in front of my nose only for there to be no pay off whatsoever.

I know this route is meant to ultimately be about Carla and Yui, not Carla and Shin’s brotherly relationship but I can’t help but feel cheated that the little Carla and Shin content we did get never amounted to anything. There was no heated discussion/argument between the two of them, there was no exciting climax where Shin tried to kill Carla because he still had his fake memories. Hell, we didn’t even get a token scene at the end where the brothers finally both had their memories back; Shin was unconscious for the conversation with Socrates and then he never comes up again.

My main point here is that I don’t think it was a good decision to include all these bits about Shin being important to Carla and then to not do anything with it in the climax of the good ending.

I acknowledge that there was no big climax in Laito’s route with the triplets either but at the very least Kanato and Ayato got their memories back and made sure that Shu and Reiji didn’t kill Subaru while Laito and Yui were trying to find a way out of the miniature garden. Shin didn’t even do that much.

Now as for labyrinth ending, oh boy where do I even begin. Putting aside the fact that Shin getting infected with Endzeit is literally the one thing I never want to happen in the franchise, I wasn’t a fan of it at all. Part of my reason for not being a fan of this ending comes back to my point about Shin playing such a small role in the Euphoria ending version of chapter 15 that he could have been replaced by a mop and I don’t think anyone would have noticed. 

However my biggest issue is that we get no information on what’s actually happened to him in that ending.

For anyone unfamiliar with that ending, in the Labyrinth version of chapter 15 Shin tries to kill Yui before they reach the church (as he still hasn’t got his memories back) but Carla protects her and gets stabbed. Shin gets covered in Carla’s blood and because his wounds from earlier in the route haven’t healed yet, they suspect he’s gotten infect with Endzeit. As a result, Yui and Carla decide to stay in the miniature garden where time is effectively frozen rather than return to the real world and have Shin potentially die from Endzeit.

The actual ending is just Yui and Carla talking about whether they’ve made the right decision. They say Shin hasn’t shown any signs of Endzeit but did he get his memory back? Are they just keeping him locked in the dungeons so he doesn’t try to murder them both? Who knows.

I can’t help but feel that it was very unfair to have Shin used as a bad ending plot device and then cut him out of that ending too. 

Also I am calling complete bullshit on that line about Carla being able to suppress his symptoms. I get that Rejet are probably trying to hint to his DF ending where Yui’s blood is magically able to hold off Endzeit symptoms (which was retconed for LE but might be thing again now apparently?) but then why was there any hesitation from Yui over going back to the real world versus staying with Carla in the minature garden??? Like this makes no sense at all. Either Carla is dying from Endzeit or he isn’t, you can’t pick and choose within the route itself depending on what’s convenient.

Anyway I’m starting to rant which isn’t good, so I’ll bring an end to this post here. 

Do I think the route has its good points? Yes, absolutely, I think Carla fans who enjoy his softer side will have a great time playing it. Do I personally have some very specific problems with it which are likely related to the identity of my favorite character? Again, yes.

Anyway I’d be interested to know if anyone agrees with me or if I am just a Shin-obsessed mad woman. I’m going to go and listen to one of Shin’s drama CDs or something while I go and calm down. Hope you’re having a good day and thanks for reading :)

[ultrahpfan5blog]

Watching Snyderverse Part 3 - Zack Snyder’s Justice League

After BvS, I was honestly not particularly looking forward to Justice League. For me, it was obvious that Snyder’s versions of these characters and his overall doom and gloom approach was not something I was particularly enjoying despite some promising elements in both MoS and BvS. Then we saw exactly how JL production went down. Despite the happy face they tried to paint, the fact that there was going to be a 2 hour mandate, the fact that Whedon basically reshot a bunch of Snyder’s film with the film being a mishmash of two directors who couldn’t be any more different in their sensibilities, and that that the actors, specifically Ben Affleck, looked like they couldn’t wait to be done with this movie and this role, made it obvious that the movie wasn’t going to turn out well. So my expectations were rock bottom for the theatrical cut. As it happens, that was a good thing. The theatrical cut of JL is a thoroughly unremarkable movie. I don’t abhor it but it is so obviously a patchwork job and a studio mandated film that there is no passion or vision in the movie at all. I mean, I didn’t like BvS much at all, but there was a vision there. Theatrical cut of JL seemed like a film that felt like WB just felt they had to put out there and then move on. And then years later, we get Zack Snyder’s full version of Justice League. I watched it in one sitting, which was maybe a mistake because it is heavy viewing for 4 hours. Without a doubt it is a better movie than the theatrical cut. Its a little tough to judge this film because this is no way a movie that would have been released theatrically. But its also impossible to judge on what it may have been if it was edited down to a 3 hour length. So best to just judge it on its own merits.

Firstly, the positives. This is definitely a more coherent and clear movie. The plot is not rushed and every sequence, be it a character moment or an action sequence, is fully realized without any weird edits. The film does have some more humor than the previous two Snyder films. Mainly courtesy of Ezra Miller and Jeremy Irons. And the humor is not awkward like in the theatrical cut. Ezra Miller in particular benefits from that because some of his cringey lines from the theatrical edition are cut. The special effects are largely impressive and definitely an improvement over the theatrical edition. On a character level, definitely Cyborg gets the most benefit out of all the characters. As we get a full and thorough backstory for him. We get insight into his relationship with both his parents. Steppenwolf also gets significantly more screen time and his motivations are definitely more clearly defined in the movie than in the theatrical. Miller and Momoa also get some more scenes to flesh out their individual characters. What does surprise me is that the film contains a lot of scenes which are essentially just alternate versions of scenes from the theatrical cut. The film isn’t radically different from the theatrical version, but the scenes included in this version feel a little more real. Like a scene with the entire League discussing Superman’s return in the theatrical cut made it obvious that the actors weren’t in the same room together, whereas the original scene in this movie has them clearly in the same physical space. The Superman scenes are also infinitely better without the CGI upper lip. Thankfully, Snyder doesn’t do what he did with the previous two movies and gives some breathing room between action sequences. Probably a bit too much time, but that’s better than no time at all. the tunnel action sequence and the climax set piece is definitely pretty cool. Flash actually having an active role in the climax was a big improvement. My favorite action sequence is still the Superman vs the League because it shows just how powerful Superman can be. Also, the color palette is a lot more consistent and better than the weird bright and red color palette that is used in the theatrical cut.

When it comes down to the performances from the cast, nobody really stands out. They are all fine, but unlike in BvS, where Affleck stood out. Everybody here is just motoring along. In the theatrical cut, Affleck looked completely checked out. I was hoping the original cut would beef up his performance. While it is slightly better, he’s still just a bit too restrained in the role and doesn’t leave the type of impression he left in BvS. Everyone is at their most dour self. Gal Gadot’s WW is more serious and therefore does not get to show her more radiant side in Patty Jenkins’ movies, Momoa is also similarly more dour and serious and not quite as fun as he was in Aquaman. Ray Fisher is decent but its a role that requires him to be very robotic for large chunks of the film. So its a little difficult to assess his performance. Cavill is in far too little of the movie to give much of a performance. He’s perfectly fine in the handful of scenes he has. Miller is probably the best of the lot, even though he’s still more Peter Parker than Barry Allen. Some of the supporting cast actually fare a little better. Irons is a delight whenever he’s on screen and Affleck is also at his best when they have scenes together. That dynamic works. Joe Morton is surprisingly affecting as Silas Stone, as is Billy Crudup in his brief scenes as Henry Allen. Its always nice to see more of Willem Dafoe, Diane Lane, Connie Nielsen, and JK Simmons. Simmons as Gordon was great casting and its a pity we won’t get to see more of him in that role. Amber Heard for some perplexing reason has a British accent in this film as Mera. Given Dafoe and Momoa both speak in their normal voices, that must have been a choice. It did feel a bit funny. Jared Leto and Jesse Eisenberg are back as Joker and Lex and neither of them particularly improve on their performances. I mean, they have a scene each so its no harm done, but the Joker scene particularly drags on for too long. Amy Adams has a small role and she does manage to make to get some emotion out of a handful of scenes.

The film has more than its fair share of issues. Firstly, it is just way, way too long. The pacing is glacially slow at times. And I mean that in the most literal manner. There is so much slow mo in this movie, its crazy. I swear, if you removed the slow motion, you might lose 20 minutes of the run time. Snyder is clearly in desperate need of an editor here. The film has the exact opposite problem of the theatrical cut. Whereas in the theatrical cut, it always felt that every scene was just edited a little too short, in this movie there are scenes that are going on for far too long. There are some very strange edits. Like an entire scene where women in the village are singing hyms when Arthur leaves and smelling his clothes. There is a meet cute between Iris and Barry which is completely unnecessary and is frankly slightly creepy where Barry is caressing her face while she is in the process of being thrown out of her car. Some music choices in these scenes are also a little bizarre. Everything involving the Martian Manhunter is not necessary. I mean, his involvement in a crucial Martha and Lois scene actually takes away from the emotion of that moment. And then he has a very tacked on final scene which is kind of awkward. The Knightmare scene also drags for a bit too long, especially given they are supposed to be in danger while being out in the open. We still have no more clarity as to why Bruce is having these visions. The slow pace does make things boring at times as well. While I am glad that Cyborg’s backstory gets beefed up, there is a bit too much of Cyborg being angry at his father. After a while, it gets monotonous. The film takes too long to get the team together and the first JL action sequence doesn’t happen until over 2 hours into the movie. The film should have spent a bit more time with the team interacting with one another. That’s what made the Avengers movies work and some of the best parts of this movie are also the team together. There are some Snyder tone deaf moments as per usual. While WW’s entry action sequence is very cool, I do find it funny that they have her comforting a girl and the girl wanting to be just like her after she basically obliterates the terrorist into dust. Given her abilities shown in that sequence, there is no reason she wouldn’t have been able to disable him. But instead she just obliterates him. Its all very Snyder. I do also have to wonder about that sequence. I still don’t get exactly how terrorists feel that blowing up a few city blocks will bring down the modern age. I thought this was a weird Whedon thing but it turns out to be a weird Snyder thing. Also, for all the hype about the black suit Superman, its really nothing more than an aesthetic choice for no rhyme or reason. I honestly prefer the Blue and Red if the black suit doesn’t have a point, like the restorative factor from the comics. Also, for all the blame people put on Whedon about the skimpy outfits on Amazons and the weird backside shots of WW, turns out they were all Snyder. There are a few select things that the Whedon cut did slightly better. For example, there is no real major debate or conflict within the team other than minor objections from Arthur over the implications of using the mother box to bring back Superman. Also, a sequence in the theatrical cut where Bruce admits that Clark was more human that he was, is a better version of a similar scene in this movie. Also, while not perfectly executed, the theatrical cut did acknowledge that Bruce was a human fighting amongst superpowered individuals. Also, most importantly, while Steppenwolf is an improvement over the theatrical cut, this is still a movie where the plot involves a villain trying to find three boxes. Steppenwolf is still pretty boring and the main story is not interesting at all. The Darkseid angle of this story is also overhyped since he’s barely in the film. 

In the end, it feels that there is a pretty decent 3 hour movie hidden in an ok but dragged out 4 hour film. I’m glad the Snyder fans got to see it. I have had my issues with Snyder’s vision. While I feel he has grand ambitions and a sense of scale and scope, he hasn’t really got the sense of story and script to really make it work to a degree where the audience at large would appreciate it. I have seen his old storyboards and read his recent interviews about what he was going to do. It sounds very grand and very cool, but with a big potential of being a gigantic mess. Who knows what will happen in the future but at least it right now seems that they are moving on from Snyder’s vision. For this film, I am right now landing at about a 6/10, which is the highest mark out of all the Snyder DC movies. I’ve only watched it once and watching it again is a big endeavor so I won’t do it anytime soon, but maybe revisiting it will make me either like it more or less.

[urujiako]

hey jia this ask is going to be really long but i just want to tell you that i am here for you no matter what, even though i'm just a friend on the internet- hearing what you've said breaks my heart. i can't say i know exactly how you feel because i'm not you and i will never be in that exact situation, but i will say that i've walked through some rough patches in life before as well, and i want you to know that in the end, there is clarity; and in the end, things will be okay.

it's easy to find ourselves in difficult situations. that's how life is, i guess; one moment we are full of joy and feel as if we're living our best life, the next moment it seems as if everything can come crashing down all at once. and sometimes it's very, very hard to understand why we get stuck in situations that are seemingly impossible to get out of; sometimes it's difficult to wrap our heads around why we, out of all people, we who try our best to be kind and loving, have to experience the heart-wrenching pains of life.

and i just want you to know you're not alone. you are loved, even if it may not be the kind of love that is ideal to feel in these kind of situations. you're loved by me, and all of us here who appreciate you so, so much. i say this truthfully and honestly that you are one of the friendliest people i've met online and irl combined; the first time i saw you in my notifications i was overjoyed because i'd seen how you interacted with my other mutuals, and you were so full of love and i instantly felt comfortable.

but your compassion and care for the people around you is evident, whether it be us or those you know in real life. and i know how difficult it can be when you feel as if the emotions (and possibly future) of someone you care about is in your hands, it can feel like a heavy burden, even if that's not how we want it to feel- but it's okay, it's okay to acknowledge that. and it's okay to take care of yourself, and leave space for you, because at the end of the day you are the most important, you should be the most important. and even though it sounds self-centered, we can only care for others when we care about ourselves first. it's okay to not always be positive and radiating energy to everyone, because sometimes you need to be cared for too. you deserve just as much as you give.

i know it's a lot harder said than done. but know that pain is always temporary, and there is always relief to be found, there is always happiness along the way. and it's okay to feel down, it's okay to feel lost sometimes.

and i know this isn't what comforts everyone, but perhaps knowing you're christian i'll leave you with something that often guides me and gives me peace.

God will guide you through life, even when you feel as if you're unable to escape. He will never put you in a situation which you cannot handle. and maybe the way of "handling" the situation is out of your comfort zone, maybe the experiences you go through will hurt. sometimes people and things come and go in our lives for reasons we may never fully understand until we look back on them in hindsight. inevitably, we will go through difficulties in life that change us, and we won't know at first whether it's for better or for worse. but either way, they shape who we are, and i don't think that you should ever be ashamed of who you are. because you're wonderful. and believe in yourself; even if you may feel unfit to "suit" a certain role, whether it be in someone else's life or in your own, just know that you are worthy, and you are strong.

and know that everything will be okay.

i hope the troubles ease soon, and that aside from all the loving and beautiful humans on this earth, God will always love you, too, and he is always watching over you.

sarah.

(this is a bit long, so full msg under the cut!)

this post made me so unbelievably happy. you should have seen the smile on my face TuT genuinely cried, this was such a sweet ask! i love you so much – thank you for making my day a little brighter!

firstly; yes. i'm here for you too, my love! my dms are always open when you want to talk. <3

secondly; i love that. there will be clarity – this whole phrase is just so comforting :") this is true, everything will work out for the best one day. it may not be today, nor tomorrow, nor next week – it'll happen one day.

thirdly; yeah, def! life fluctuates so much its really disappointing but change is the only constant ig haish. even if it is really painful at times. comfort zones are called comfort zones for a reason :""")

fourth; sarah, this part just made me cry. i love you so much. this was genuinely what i hoped this blog would be – a safe shelter with warm food and blankets that just.. radiates a space of love, you know? part of being a christian is also advocating for love to each other :") i'm so happy you feel this way about my blog. this means so so much to me. i'm so happy that you're comfortable around me, it means a lot. i love you dearly, sarah <3

fifth; this hit hard. this is exactly whats going through rn. and it sucks ass. i don't think it's self centered to love yourself first – thats basic human decency XD you're absolutely right, my dear.

sixth; pain truly is only temporary. <3 this is such a lovely reminder honestly.

seventh; this makes me so happy. thank you for the words of encouragement – of peace, of comfort, of assurance. this was beautifully written and i'm so glad that it was for me! He will always be there to ground me when i float too high, and i think that's truly something worth living for. my anchor, my hope. thank you for this sweet message!

sarah, i love you. you've been the absolute sweetest since day 1 and i genuinely cannot imagine not having you in my life. you've been such a big blessing and inspiration (all glory to Him!) in my life and i'm so happy that God put us on these crossed paths! i love you so much, have the most wonderful day/night.

mega big hugs from me. mwah. xx

[lucidpantone]

Reacting to reactions: Kynicole s4 ep1 (comments edition)

Okay, so you know when something comes out and you need to talk about it with other humans because you can’t hold it in?  This is me right now with the youtube comments on kynicole’s reaction video. I am about to burst 🤯.

**First and foremost lets thank kynicole for doing what most of us aren't willing to do for ourselves which is revisit the trainwreck that is wtFOCK s4.**

Disclaimer: This is long as hell

Ok so literally first comment I see is this:

People!!! Moyo from all the information we’ve been given as a fandom am pretty sure is not blocked. You know that saying, actions speak louder than words?Well let's analyze the actions of wtFOCK(particularly Rutgers) and Noa. I have asked sooo many people about the block question and I always get the same answer “I don’t know”. Which coupled with everything else that has played out tells me a lot. Ok firstly, we are all aware that wtFOCK is yet to comment on or even acknowledge s4. The newsmonkey article wtFOCK did after every season they skipped entirely after s4. You know what wtFOCK did do? They sent out Nora b4 s4 even ended to calm down the fandom. Oh lets send the WOC out to quell the screams from all the fans that are screaming at the injustice of giving this season to Romi(who was a way less experienced actor, who had no previous backstory on the show, who no one asked for, who was white, a legitimate model, and to put it simply didn’t work anywhere near as hard as Noa for 3 seasons). Anyways here is why I am pretty sure Moyo isn't block.

Think about everything we know about Noa as a human being the way he treats the fans, his demeanor and just overall vibe. To me he seems like a very nice person, he writes back to most of you guys when you talk to him. I saw him comment heart emojis to fan accounts that commented on his award acceptance the other day and you know what he said at the award “That the fans are the most important thing”. Now connect the Noa we know from his actions to his own words on the day the main was revealed:

To me this tweet implies whatever he is speaking about involved a choice and the chooser chose to make money over morality. Now lets exam Rutgers actions. He has never publicly spoken about the season and the reason I believe he doesn't speak is because any decent journalist is going to ask him to explain his casting choice. Also your telling me that if Moyo had been blocked after week 4,5,6,7,8 of having the fandom hurl insults at wtfock and also Romi calling a meeting they wouldn't have used their end of the season interview to confirm Moyo wasn’t an option to shut the fandom up? Oh and last week Noa accepted the award for wtfock and Rutgers posted Noa on his story??? Moyo wasn’t the main of s4. Wouldn't it make sense to have a main accept the award? Why Noa? Rutgers is not stupid. I don’t believe for one second that Moyo was blocked. What I believe is that wtFOCK’s leadership who happens to all be white men are to embarrassed to go on the record and say “yeah Moyo wasn’t block but we still didn’t chose him” and that instead of giving the season to Noa who worked his ass off for 3 seasons they gave it to Romi because they thought “her look” was more appeasing to advertisers. Her look was obviously what sold them on her because next to Noa we know who the better actor was and Noa literally landed a feature film to prove that. Anyways everyone needs to stop pushing this idea that Moyo was blocked because if you actually look at everyone’s actions involved its pretty clear to me he wasn't blocked and Rutgers and the team are refusing to confirm what to me is fairly obvious answer because they know they are going to get fucking dragged. Also whoever this commenter is they know what's up. I agree with everything you stated:

☝️☝️☝️Say it louder sis. wtFOCK bypassed Noa on purpose they chose to do what they did to him. I do genuinely believe they regret the decision now because from everything I heard I really do believe they wish they could go back and chose Noa but the damage is done. 

Next YT comment:

You know when early on in the season a bunch of POC said that this season was merely a platform to embolden and give free reign to those who already harbored racial micro-aggression 👇👇👇

Oh surprise, surprise..... this commenter sees no redeeming qualities in both black boys who in their respective remakes are written as being homophobic, with undertones of aggression and as bad friends. Oh and then this commenter points out how poor Moyo treated Kato. Bwahahahaha what?? Yea Moyo insulted Kato but he never accused her of being a drug dealer, or implies she has a drug problem, or racially profiles members of her community or manipulates her with saying I love you as a form of keeping her but Moyo treats Kato badly. GTFO!!! I am sure this commenter is a Mailin stan too and would say Ava isnt someone she would be interested in seeing main either. Wonder what all these characters have in common🤔. This type of commentary is what created the divide that still resides in the wtfock fandom to date. This shit is what tore the fandom apart and eventually led people to leave the fandom or take time off because people went for each others throats as the season got worse and those who defended wtfock at the beginning were eaten alive. Honestly tho I dont want to excuse people’s troublesome povs on race but wtFOCK’s decision to make a season where their white main never fully apologizes or owns her behavior with the appropriate language perpetuates a pattern of bad behavior so am kinda of not shocked no one came out with some insight on race relations after s4 if anything probably with less of an education then they began with because wtfock themselves peddled the agenda that its ok to silence people of color (as they did with moyo at the end of the season, he never says his piece to kato and stays with her) and Kato never takes ownership of her actions and states that her actions stem from some form of racial micro-aggression.

Final Comments reviewed:

I mean.... look I will always adore season 2 & 3 of wtfock. Nothing will ever change that for me but these people ☝️☝️are right. It takes a real fan to be honest with themselves and to me this is the worse season in the universe and it makes me so sad mainly because it could have been the most fearless, ground breaking season but wtfock made a choice. They literally had the opportunity to go big and do something that had never been done before and in the end they choked and paid the ultimate price. What a waste.......could have been amazing the had the perfect actor to main and they fucking blew it because in their mind Moyo wasn't an important enough story to tell 😞.

p.s. I noticed kynicole said at least half a dozen times in her video I still dont get why this wasn’t in Moyo’s pov? Literally said EVERYONE!!!

[yet-another-saberface]

Story Headcanons: Fuyuki (Finale ~ Sections 9-11)

Oh boy, this is gonna be something. This final bit of Fuyuki was an absolute treat to write, especially Section 11. Part of it was likely the writer’s high I get between 10:30 and midnight, but I’d imagine it’s also just that I really resonated with those bits story-wise. Prepare for something a bit more intense than the last 2 parts! And thank you to everyone so far who’s supported this little writing project! It means a lot to me that something I’m doing for fun like this is enjoyed by other people!

And, of course, spoilers!

Section 9: The Dark Cave

Eva does not like being in a cave. She isn’t particularly claustrophobic or anything, but between the tiredness, the anxiety, and her injuries, she just really doesn’t feel like hiking through a cave to fight evil servants. (Something she would normally be very up for doing.)

Panics just about as much as Olga when Archer shows up, and does her best to dash behind Mash, hiding her limp. Sadly, the grail mud has corrupted him way too much for her to even try to guess who he might’ve been beforehand. If they’re going to fight, they’re going to have to go in mostly blind as to how powerful he is - the exception being anything Caster already knows.

Now that Mash has her phantasm, Eva’s actually regained some confidence in giving orders during fights. While she was struggling before, during their fight with Archer, she manages to stay behind Mash most of the time and call out her orders confidently!

It takes a while, but they eventually manage to take down Archer after taking hit after hit after hit. Eva’s very grateful that Mash is a Shielder, because she’s pretty uniquely equipped to have drawn-out fights against long-range attackers like this.

Going into her fight with Saber, she’s actually really confident that she’s going to be able to win, so long as she has Mash tanking blows and Caster attacking. One might say she’s actually just a bit too confident…

Section 10: Facing the Greater Grail

Stopping right before the grail, Eva still doesn’t have any doubts, and honestly, kinda wants to just rush in there and get stuff done. Caster’s affirmations that that’s the right attitude only spur her on.

But she gets tricked into resting again beforehand. (“Oh, I guess I should let everyone else rest,” she tells herself because she must justify every break as something other than giving herself a break.)

She’s not that surprised to learn about how her magic circuits are being stressed - she’d pretty much identified that issue already herself. Despite this being an obvious chance to mention that ankle injury she’s been neglecting… She’s actually forgotten it’s there at the moment. She’s so hyped up for this last fight that she can’t feel it at all, and is just naturally shifting her weight off of it when she needs to. 

She’s never going to turn down tea, though! She actually puts a worrying amount of honey in hers - enough to make the others stare in concern. (“It’s fine, I’m just trying to keep my energy up and all that!” “Senpai, the tea already has caffeine in it.” “...I like honey?”) She doesn’t admit it to herself, but she really needed this break. By the time they’re all done and have packed things up, the lingering bits of anxiety, regret, and fear are gone, leaving only her determination to finish things.

That said… Olga I’m glad you finally acknowledged her but couldn’t you have saved it for after the final battle? All of this praise is really going to her head. And she needs it. But she also needs to go into this remembering she isn’t going to automatically win… It’s good though, that she’s had this chance to regain her wits and laugh a bit at Olga’s tsundere-ness. 

Those skeletons that show up? Bold of you to think she doesn’t know how to deal with them by now. *cue fight sound effects*

Section 11: Grand Order

Eva is astonished by the sheer size of the Greater Grail when she first sees it. She’d read about it in correspondence to Holy Grail Wars back during her research, but no amount of reading can prepare you for seeing something like that in person. She’s snapped out of it, though, when Saber notices their group.

Upon learning that Saber’s strength is mostly in her magical output, Eva’s confidence is bolstered once again. She may be trash when it comes to physical capability, but she knows magic. If Saber’s attacks are powered by magic, there’s a chance that they won’t even have to take her down the normal way. Maybe there’s a way to find a loophole in how her magic works! That would certainly be more efficient. 

It was very wrong for her to be as confident as she was going into this fight. Things start off pretty well initially, with Mash guarding against each and every strike. But there’s a big difference this time. Saber’s large attacks may be magical, and long-range, but she’s also bombarding them with lots of close-ranged physical blows. While the shield is still somewhat effective, it quickly becomes too heavy for Mash to easily move to block every strike.

As soon as Saber gets her first hit in, everything goes downhill. She’s through their defenses now, and starts forgoing attacking Mash in favor of taking out Caster, their offence. Luckily, with a bit of a magic assist from Eva, Mash manages to get back on her feet and draw Saber’s attention again when she bashes her with the shield.

Mash manages to hold out for longer before getting hit this time, but eventually, her defense is broken yet again. Eva starts reciting a healing spell again, but Saber catches her this time, rushing towards her in an attempt to take out the Master. Eva just barely manages to dodge her, tripping over her own legs, and further spraining her ankle. She tries to get back up and keep running, but she finds she can’t put any weight on her right foot now, not without pain too great for even the adrenaline to get rid of.

But just as Saber’s about to get in that final hit, Mash rushes in out of nowhere, blocking the sword with only one hand on her shield, the other compressing the gash she’s got on her side. Saber pulls back, preparing to unleash her Noble Phantasm, while Eva desperately rushes through the healing spell to get Mash back to full capacity. She manages to finish just as it fires, with Mash activating her own phantasm on instinct before they’re obliterated. The beam reflects off the shield, weakened, but some of the attack still hits Saber. 

As Saber dies, Eva is dragged up to standing by Mash, who then lets her hold onto part of her shield as a temporary crutch. But before Saber truly fades away, Eva does her best to remember two things: Firstly, that Saber unintentionally held back against Mash at the end of the fight, implying that something fishy is up. Perhaps there’s a connection between the king and the servant Mash fused with? Secondly, she notes that Saber refers to Caster as Ireland’s Child of Light, which, combined with the previous mentions of him also being a Lancer, is more than enough for Eva to commit to memory that that’s definitely Cú Chulainn.

Eva’s annoyed with how injured her leg is, and how that’s mostly her fault, but she’s very satisfied with the fact that they won, and is grinning like a madwoman… Up until she notices Olga spacing out. She’s still riding that high from winning, but doubt is slowly starting to creep in. This can’t be the end. Something’s not right.

And so, when she hears Lev’s voice and sees him step out in front of the grail, instead of pure dread - though you better bet she’s feeling dread - her reaction is more of just a long sigh accompanied by a facepalm. She’s tired, injured, and hyped up right now. Nothing makes sense anyways so you know what, sure, Lev is a bad guy now.

She limps behind Mash again, cringing whenever she has to step on her injured leg. And then Olga runs up to Lev. And the dread gets worse. 

Eva isn’t at all confused by learning that Olga’s actually dead, even as she stands there in front of them - magically, it makes perfect sense. But she can’t help feeling sad, and guilty. The reality of everything is just now starting to fully hit her, with the adrenaline slowly draining away. Hundreds of people died in that explosion back at Chaldea. Including the woman standing in front of her. And she couldn’t do anything to stop it. She didn’t cause those deaths, but she also didn’t save a single person. And now, all that dread is mixing with the weight of those deaths, and the stress is starting to build, and the pain in her leg seems so much more prevalent now, and she can’t stop herself from breathing faster, and faster, and faster-

And then it all seems to stop. She stops breathing. She stops blinking. She stops moving. All she can feel is her heartbeat and the sharp pain shooting up her leg, as she looks on in horror as any hope she might have had of Olga surviving is erased forever, accompanied by cries of how this woman - someone with issues scarily similar to the ones that Eva’s subconscious knows she has - will never be good enough, how she’s never been properly acknowledged…

Mash has to snap her out of it, placing a firm hand on Eva’s shoulder. She starts breathing. She starts blinking. But she’s still frozen, stuck in a state somewhere in between being in the moment and the abyss of her own anxiety.

She doesn’t register most of what Lev says, only clinging onto two things. They’re all probably gonna die right now. And a name. Flauros. Something in her memory begs for her to think just a second longer, that she knows something about that name - but her mind’s not operating correctly right now, and before she can remember what it means, the panic takes over once again. They're all going to die right now.

As the cavern begins to collapse, Eva is frozen again, her mind full of panic and replays of Olga’s screams and the thought that she’s about to die without having accomplished anything and the nagging feeling that if she could just think she’d figure all of this out rather quickly. And within a few seconds, it’s too much, and her vision starts to cloud, the last thing she registers before passing out being Mash yelling and grabbing her by the waist in desperation.

By the time she wakes up in Chaldea, the panic seems to have mostly subsided, in favor of confusion. Her leg has a boot on it now, and she can remember enough to know that she injured it. And something in the back of her mind keeps telling her that there’s one detail she needs to remember, that it’ll make things make sense… But she just can’t.

In her haze, she doesn’t even really question Da Vinci’s presence - she’s just glad that she seems to be alive. And while the vague reminders that she’s got a lot of responsibility now begin to drag in that all too familiar stress… She just needs to get to the command room. Maybe someone there can remember whatever it is that she’s forgotten. Maybe she can figure out what the hell happened back in the cave after Olga-

Nope. She’s not gonna think about that.

She spends most of the briefing Roman gives her in denial. There’s no way she managed to actually save Mash back there. There’s no way that all of humanity is dead for all time. There’s no way that if it is, she’d ever be able to save it. But when she’s asked if she’ll do it… 

She says she will. Because that’s the only thing to say. Because she can’t let these few people that seem to believe in her down. All of the guilt and stress and need to remember is still in her system, but she can pretend it isn’t there. For their sake. She’ll become a Master and “save humanity.” If it’s the last thing she does.

Uh... Tags.

@contractgreen​ @panyum​ @withanina​ @campanulabell​ @delfinaschiffer​ @princessaslan​ @armageddon25​ @patproductions​ @xviicprc​

My next post in the series actually won’t be jumping straight into Orleans, but will probably come out on Friday, maybe? I’m still working on how I want to format it, but it will cover the short period of time between Fuyuki and Orleans, all the summonings that happen then, some slice of life, etc. I’d like to include at least 1 real (though probably short) fic post to go along with it, but I’m not settled on what exactly it’ll focus on. Thank you again to everyone who’s been reading these!

[childotkw]

Hi 👋 I love you 😘 but I agree with Dumbledore, please hear me out! this is gonna be long..

Just keep in mind that Tom never had to answer to any of his actions before Dumbledore’s visit. While people suspected that he had a hand in the torment and that he was guilty, they never did hold him to it, they just didn’t have enough evidence to actually punish him, in short. He gets off, while the victim suffers.

Tom is not afraid of the consequences, think about it, a child who isn’t afraid of punishment, a child who is arrogant enough to think that he’s above getting caught -or god forbid-getting hurt, isn’t it more dangerous and damaging to a child to grow with that kind of mentality and entitlement? Especially in the Wizarding world, where any crime can land you in Azkaban 😨 with great power comes great responsibility, Dumbledore knows this, so he warns him from the Ministry and getting expelled.

If anything, Tom should be grateful to Dumbledore when he’s older and more mature. Dumbledore could’ve easily made the choice to not interfere, to smile kindly and give him his Hogwarts letter. But no, Tom needed a reality check as soon as possible, and Dumbledore gives him just that. I honestly would’ve looked down on him if he hadn’t interfered, if he just brushed it off, I am sure someone like Slughorn would.

If punishing Tom for a wrong he did is enough to turn him into an enemy, then that’s Tom’s own entitlement, not Dumbledore’s. By burning his possessions he showed him the gravity of the situation, by punishing him, by holding him accountable. He taught him that he can lose everything he ever had in a fleeting moment, because of his own actions.

As a fellow orphan myself, I have a lot of empathy and understanding towards Tom’s circumstances, hell I’ve been in most of the situations he was in if not worse. But I won’t excuse his actions or wrongdoings, same goes for Dumbledore: what the hell is he thinking! Making a child go alone in— Anyway, that’s why I think I have an understanding to what Dumbledore was trying to achieve. I see these lessons as the following:

Upon first meeting him Dumbledore is nothing but patient and gentle when he was dealing with Tom’s hostility-except for when he was punishing him, but even then- he’s firm, but not malicious, because when Tom asks about his father, Dumbledore immediately softness.

When Tom openly disrespects him, he corrects him, and Tom catches himself little by little. In those few minutes: he gave him every tool he needed to exceed in Hogwarts, but most importantly, something I really respect, is his choice in not revealing Tom’s true nature/ability to the other teachers, even when Tom opened the chamber, and framed another orphan and killed a student, he gave him a chance to do better.

So, isn’t it fitting for Tom to have a feather from Dumbledore’s Phoenix? When Tom was going to rebirth in the Wizarding world anew, much like Harry did.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hey there!

Firstly, thank you for being so polite about this. I know a lot of these discussion can get hot really quick 😊

So, largely, I fully agree with you. Children need discipline and structures and to be corrected when they do things wrong – it’s the most effective way for them to learn what’s dangerous and what’s not allowed on a societal level.

And you’re right. Tom’s behaviour at the orphanage was left unchecked for far too long, and as a result he got used to be the uncontested big fish in the pond – and the second a larger fish came along he didn’t handle it well.

Tom’s actions – tormenting the other children, stealing, killing the rabbit, scaring the adults – was not okay, and I would never condone that sort of behaviour. Dumbledore recognised that Tom was going to be a problem. And that’s fine. The younger those traits are identified, the better you can try and curb such things.

And I’m not saying that Tom didn’t desperately need the reality check that Dumbledore provided. He needed to be aware of the rules of the world he was entering into. And Dumbledore’s initial approach to talking to Tom was correct. Gentle, patient, firm when necessary.

My issue is with the way Dumbledore chose to demonstrate both his power (in comparison to Tom’s, it would have come across as a classic I could crush you like a bug display), and the concept of punishment. 

I don’t care how troubled a child is. I don’t care how disturbing their behaviour is. Burning their only possessions – even if they were stolen – in front of their eyes is not an appropriate response in any scenario. Dumbledore, in that move, made Tom immediately categorise him as a threat.

(Off topic, but the scene in Brave when Elinor burns Merida’s bow is a perfect example that no matter what age a person is – if you destroy their property, they’re going to react strongly.)

Tom was 10/11 during this meeting. Dumbledore was almost 60. He’d been a teacher for decades at that point. He should have known, with all his years of experience, that such a violent and sudden form of punishment would do nothing but aggravate the situation, and potentially exasperate those traits. With a boy like Tom, Dumbledore should have taken a different approach to explaining the consequences of his actions.

It’s not like he had no warning that Tom wasn’t troubled in some manner. The matron warned him off, and Tom’s own words of “she wants me looked at” should have set off all the alarm bells. Dumbledore’s inability to measure the strength of his own teachings with Tom is what I had a problem with.

I don’t claim to be a budding Dark Lord. I had a very stable upbringing – but I still would have tried to cut a bitch if they ruined things that I considered mine.

But I respectfully disagree with Dumbledore not revealing Tom when he was younger. The second someone - a young girl - was murdered, Dumbledore should have acted. I can’t excuse the fact that he still didn’t act against Tom, didn’t even try, until he was running around starting a war.

I guess I just don’t like Dumbledore, and I do acknowledge that that colours my perception of him. As does the fact that I like Tom more. I am automatically skewed in his favour. But still, for me, and likely for Tom, Dumbledore came across as threatening and dangerous. Which is not something I believe any authority figure should present themselves as.

[ardenttheories]

i feel the worst part of these latest upd8s is.... 2? 3? things? firstly, it's implied dave and karkat wanted kids too - jade could've ectobiologically had a kid w dave. dave was willing and proposed to her, he did love her. rose lied to kanaya and broke her trust but she also broke her brother's trust.... and dave n kanaya will probably never get to discuss that, nor will kanaya likely be allowed to be upset bc the narrative won't let her :)

Honestly? Something I hate most about the Yiffany situation is that Jade actively acknowledges Ectobiology. Like, she outright states in the Epilogues that she and Dave can’t have biological children because of Bec fusion shit (which implies she was a cis woman beforehand, since she says it’s explicitly because of the fusion that she can’t have children anymore), and then she admits that Ectobiology is an option.

What’s her reasoning for not using Ectobiology, though? 

JADE: but i dont think any of us are really interested in having a kid with ectobiology

JADE: it just feels…

JADE: well

JADE: i think weve had enough of ectobiology for one lifetime!

So... if Dave and Jade want children... but the only way for them to have a child - which, by the way, would still very much be biological since Ectobiology takes your fucking DNA - is through Ectobiology... we’re just meant to believe that they looked at each other and went “actually, on second thought, not having a child is the better option :)”

Firstly, that’s pretty shitty. The concept that a child isn’t worth the effort to have and raise if they’re not biological is outdated at best, and incredibly harmful to be read in something as popular as Homestuck, considering how young people were when they got into it, the wide range of ages it caters to, and the fact that a fair amount of people who are currently into Homestuck are LGBTQIA+ (aka, people who might not be able to have biological children). 

It’s even worse when you consider that through Ectobiology, the way they’ll have that child will just mean that all they’re skipping is the pregnancy part of it. That child will still genetically be part Dave and part Jade. It just means that Dave didn’t impregnate her. 

Yes, I understand that Jade might miss that - miss being able to bond with a child over 9 months while they’re growing in her womb, miss the actual act of childbirth, miss the moments she and Dave could have shared together waiting for her due date - but at the same time? If you are that desperate to have a child... that is biologically yours... with your partner... why would you not go for it?

It does bring up the question if Jade thinks her womanhood has been taken from her with her sudden lack of working womb, which feels slightly transphobic/misogynistic to write into a character who is already being badly coded as a trans woman (implying that trans women aren’t “real women” without the ability to bare children), but then. Why would her literal next option be to have sex with her best friend. 

That’s the part that doesn’t make sense to me. If this isn’t Jade having a gender crisis (”my body has been physically altered against my will and now I cannot have biological children, which is affecting me psychologically”), then why does she sleep with Rose? She’s not even the one carrying the child. Hosting that baby inside her body clearly does not mean that much to her if she impregnates Rose. 

So, she doesn’t care if the biological child is made with her actual partner’s DNA. This isn’t Jade finding a way around not being able to bare her own baby. This is Jade deciding that she can’t have an actual biological child without the act of sex.

Jade would rather fuck her own best friend behind both their partners’ backs, quite literally encouraging said friend to cheat on her wife, than have a perfectly legitimate, biological baby with her partner through Ectobiology. In what universe did the writers think this made any form of sense. 

In what universe did the writers think that a woman who is desperate for a child with her partner would overlook something as wondrous as Ectobiology - something that would let her have a baby with her and her partner’s DNA, a baby that would be biologically theirs. 

In what universe did they think Jade would view sexual intimacy as an important part of having a child, an important part of making that child biological and legitimate. When she herself wasn’t born from sexual intimacy. When sexual intimacy would require cheating on her partner. 

Even if we ignore that fucking mess, you’re completely right - we’re never going to see how Kanaya reacts to this. She’s been shafted to begin with, anyway; all we hear from her about the situation is that she and Rose have talked about it. That’s it. She and Rose have talked about the situation off-screen, and suddenly she’s perfectly okay with the concept that her loving wife of several decades has cheated on her and kept a child secret for fifteen years. 

It would have been cathartic to see the conversation. It would’ve been important to see how Kanaya copes with the logic, how it affects their relationship - to see Kanaya be angry, be upset, to show any form of emotion towards her wife’s long-kept secret. To see Kanaya tell Rose she loves her, and that they’ll work through it. To see Kanaya ask Rose why she didn’t just tell her, that she would’ve been supportive, that she would’ve helped, and Rose’s guilt about not telling her. To see Kanaya say she would love to meet her some day, her wife’s other child, and Rose happily telling Kanaya all about her. 

As a writer, you need to add in this sort of catharsis for your readers. You need to help your readers work through their emotions at the same time as the characters do, especially if they’re as loved as the Homestuck characters are. You need to let them slowly come down from the outrage alongside the characters who are feeling the emotions, to see the logic, to see the aftermath, so they can feel legitimised and find it easier to accept what’s happened.

Instead, it’s just... sorted. It’s already done. Kanaya’s okay with it, supposedly, but we are not. We are outraged on her behalf because she has been written to not care. Because we never got our catharsis, so we can never accept hers. 

That’s not even taking into account Dave. I know, in some ways, it might not matter as much to him; Dave didn’t fully love Jade, and their relationship was built on shambles. He’s also Davebot, now - and we have no idea what he does or doesn’t know, what he’s come to terms with on his own off-screen. But even that comes with its own flurry of questions. 

Will he be mad at Rose and Jade? Will he be glad for them? Will he even care? What does he feel towards this child, considering it’s his wife’s child? Will he feel anything? Will he see her as partly his own? 

How amazing would it have been - or be - to see Dave and Kanaya have another conversation? We’ve already seen them talk in Meat, we know their conversations can be cathartic and good for each other. Seeing a Candy conversation between them, Dave opening up about how he feels while Kanaya admits her own frustrations and feelings... it would have been a wonderful. 

It would’ve been something we could compare against the two timelines, something to analyise, something theorise with, something to judge development between in a starker manner - but instead, Dave’s gone, and Kanaya is just okay with it. 

It is endlessly fucking frustrating. Everything about how they wrote this reveal is just awful. It’s such horrific writing practice I genuinely don’t understand how they thought a single part of this was anything close to okay.