#and here i was thinking we were get an alive father-kid relationship

[iwantflyingpigs]

asagiri kafka; bomber of childs and killer of father figures

[peaktora]

𝐁𝐄𝐃𝐓𝐈𝐌𝐄: 𝐃𝐑𝐀𝐆𝐎𝐍 𝐄𝐃𝐈𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍˚◞♡ ⃗ dad!satoru gojo

𝙧𝙚𝙫𝙞𝙚𝙬 ┊ instead of sleeping, satoru and your daughter argue over what to name her stuffed dragon.

𝙘𝙤𝙣𝙩𝙚𝙣𝙩 ┊1.9k words. established relationship (#married). the toddler dialogue is purposefully not structured correctly since it’s words from a toddler. fem!reader. intended lowercase. warning: you will wish you had a kid with gojo after reading this.

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚.┊this was gonna be a basic thought post, but i got more and more interested in the concept and was like “y’know what? fuck it, ima just make this into a full fic.” so here we are with a more full look at dad!gojo <3.

satoru mumbles, "but i think he likes being called spike,” and it's obvious that he's sulking. you don't even have to look up from your book to confirm it.

“well, you don't know him like i do!” your daughter replies, tucking herself into your side.

you flip through the picture book's pages fast, just getting brief glances of its colorful illustrations. unicorns, dragons, knights, and princesses decorated the pages. after turning the last page, you sigh and put the book down on the nightstand. despite the fact that the book was designed for toddlers, it actually looked interesting. you just know you would love to read it to your toddler. you can imagine yourself reading it to her, seeing the excitement on her face as she explores the world of fantasy—her absolute favorite genre.

but unfortunately, that image in your head will have to wait for another day, because her attention? is completely taken by the debate between her and her father.

how the argument started is beyond you. just ten minutes ago, you and satoru were snuggled up on your daughter’s bed, trying to read her to sleep. and now? satoru and her are in a heated debate over what to name her stuffed dragon. it's tough not to be amazed at how something so easy can become so complicated with him.

"i bought him, drove him around in my car, and wrapped him up in a cute little box for you. i think we know each other pretty well.” satoru smiles and reaches across the bed for the dragon.

“nuh-uh! he not even like you!” your toddler, with her tiny hands and puffed cheeks, clutches her stuffed dragon tightly against her chest. the plushie, its vibrant green scales and friendly eyes, seemed to come alive in her hold.

he retreats back to his seat on the edge of your daughter's bed, his lips curled into a frown as he asks, "how come?"

her mouth opens, then closes again. you look away for a moment to give satoru a look of disapproval, and by the time you return your attention to her, her brows are already starting to furrow. she mumbles under her breath, "because," running her small fingers around the plush dragon’s ear. she looks to be at a loss for words, as if she hasn't come up with an answer to satoru's question.

but that's okay, since you—happily, do.

"because you’re taking his time away from storytime. and satoru, in case you didn't know? when it's time to go to bed, we have storytime.”

your daughter looks up, her face beaming as she screams, "yup! and mommy picks the super-duper bestest stories ever!"

satoru gasps, his eyes never leaving yours as he rises from his bed and holds his chest. "baby, who's side are you on?"

you roll your eyes, "i'm just sa—"

"oh, sweetheart," he mumbles as he rushes around the corner of the bed, his movements quick to reach your side. without wasting a second, he rests a palm on your forehead, checking your temperature with a clear look of false concern. concerned people don’t have to hold back the urge to smile. actually, they don't have a smile at all—but for some reason, satoru does, and he's terrible at hiding it. "are you sick? having some hallucinations? is that why you've decided to side with enemy?”

your daughter giggles, and it only feeds satoru's act.

he turns his head towards the source of the giggles. a playful pout forms on his lips as he teasingly asks, "or did this little munchkin of ours use her princess magic to change your mind? she has a way of doing that to me sometimes, y’know."

his free hand reaches towards your toddler, fingers wiggling in anticipation. as his fingers make contact with your little one's soft, ticklish skin, even more giggles slip past her lips.

she tries to squirm away from his touch, but that's when he adds another hand to the tickle fest, and all chance of escape is gone. at that point, she visibly gives up, curling into herself to try to halt her dad’s tickling.

“i-i don’t have powers, daddy!” you daughter manages to stifle out through her laughs. you smile at the sound—it’s one you'll never get tired of hearing.

"you can't be a princess without powers! every princess has powers!"

“i-i'm n-not a princess though!“

satoru's fingers pause in their spot, his eyes widening in disbelief. "not a princess? how on earth can that even be?"

you’re sure if she needed him to, he could easily write an entire book about how she’s a princess.

he scoops her up from her place next to you, careful not to let her dangling legs hit you in the process. she lands on his hip, her eyes fixated on him as he lovingly whispers, "you're daddy's little princess!" he pauses, then adds, "and mommy is the queen, so that makes me—"

“the king?”

“you’re just so smart, huh? see, a perfect quality of a princess.”

“but princesses have dragons! big ones with so many pretty colors and names! they go—“ she cuts herself off and raises her tiny arms high. with a wide smile on her face, she takes a deep breath and lets out a loud roar.

satoru nods and smiles warmly at her, "oh, i see...well, y’know what? not all princesses have dragons.”

she tilts her head, and you awe at the sight. “they don’t?”

"nope," he says, taking her tiny hand in his, wrapping it securely around his finger. he lightly massages the back of her hand, and it’s soothing—scratch that, reassuring. you can tell from the way your daughter leans her head on his shoulder, tucking herself in the crook of his neck. "you don't need a dragon to be a princess. you're my princess ‘cause you're kind, smart, and full of love. i'd say that's all you need to be one."

"really?" she asks, waiting for his nod before continuing. "okay…but i still want a dragon."

"i get it, munchkin," he hums as he takes the dragon plushie from the bed. "we still haven't figured out a name for this guy, hm?"

“nuh-uh!”

“he looks like his power is being super cuddly. he's so cuddly that he puts you right to sleep…how ‘bout…fluffy?"

“ew.”

“fluffy sounds cute, no?”

"but dragons aren't cute. daddy, they breathe fire."

"wel—" satoru begins, but your daughter interrupts.

“his name should be fireball!”

“satoru, she does have a point,” you assert.

she really did. it was a dragon, not something adorable, but something that’s usually thought of as a villain—or a protector. athough deep down, a part of you just wanted this little debate to finally wrap up so you could finally catch some much-needed sleep.

“i thought i took away all of her princess magic?” satoru frowns, "stop siding with the enemy!"

you can't help but snort at his comment. mostly because, for whatever reason, he’s taking this dispute very seriously. so seriously that he doesn't seem to notice you're trying to do anything to finally get to bedtime. "baby i was just sa—"

"who says this dragon had to breathe fire anyways?" he interrupts.

when your toddler goes to respond, it hits you. "what about fluffy fireball?" you mention. it's a perfect combination of the two. well, okay, maybe not a “perfect” combination, but it's good enough to finish this debate.

if you weren't so tired, you’d stop and ogle the way they ask "huh?" in sync.

you shrug, "well, why not? he is pretty fluffy and spits out fire. there can’t be a better name than that."

your daughter holds out the dragon, looks at it for a while, then brings it up to her ear.

she gives the impression that he’s nodding his head before hushedly saying, "got it." she then turns back to face you and yells confidently, "fluffy fireball agrees!”

"well, i don't agree," satoru huffs. "the name is way too long an—"

“satoru.”

“but—“

"satoru," you say more firmly, and his shoulders sink as he mumbles "okay" beneath his breath.

your daughter lets out a yawn, and your eyes are immediately drawn to her. you signal for satoru to come over to the bed, and he does, bending down to your level.

“is my girl sleepy?”

"um," she pauses and looks at her dragon. "just a little bit."

"i can tell," you say, gently rubbing her back. you sneak a quick glance at your husband, and he looks the other way because he knows it's way past her bedtime. you sit up next to her ear and murmur, "i think fluffy fireball is ready to go to sleepy-time."

she gives the dinosaur a look before asking him, "y’wanna sleep with me?” then, she shakes the dinosaur's head up and down before exclaiming, "okay!"

you watch as she leaps out of satoru’s arms, and plops down on the bed. the room fills with giggles and the creaking of the bed as she scampers towards the middle. once she's next to you, she settles in and gets comfortable.

you can't help but smile as you see her tiny hands reaching out, playfully fluffing the pillows around her. then finally, with a satisfied sigh, she snuggles under the covers, cocooning herself in warmth.

she sets her dragon on her left side, making sure her loyal companion is there to do his job and look after her (the princess). it’s cute really. however, if that dragon becomes even a little bit too comfortable with the job, you know satoru will undoubtedly compete for the position. he'd say, "it can't just show up one day and take my job," or something along those lines. knowing him, he might even contemplate throwing it away—who knows.

you’re jolted out of your trance when your daughter asserts to her dinosaur, "you can sleep on daddies side, he snores."

satoru gasps, “i do not—“

“yes you do!”

“when have i eve—“

"guys," you sigh, feeling the weight of exhaustion in your voice. you cast a glance at both of them, making sure you have their undivided attention before pressing on. "c'mon, let's all take a breather and save the debate about your dad's snoring for tomorrow, okay?"

"but mommy, tell him he snores!" she whines. "he goes—" she cuts herself off to mimic satoru's snoring, and his face is priceless.

"now that’s just rude. how can you speak to me so coldly?” satoru scurries underneath the covers on the side of the dragon. and just like that, your daughter and her dragon are nestled between the two of you.

“this’ll be settled in a family meeting tomorrow. you two have already had one debate today. so right now? lets all go to bed.” you declare, then nestle deeper beneath the covers, closing your eyes.

as the voices of saddened "okays" and "alrights" blend together, a collective sigh fills the room. the sound of a click follows, and even with your eyes closed, the absence of light is unmistakable. it makes you feel even more exhausted than before.

you feel satoru’s arm slide around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. meanwhile, your daughter stirs slightly, searching for a more comfortable position in the cozy space between the two of you. you can feel her movements, her small body nestled snugly against yours.

you snuggle impossibly closer to your pillow, and take a deep breath.

silence, that’s what follows—and it’s nothing but peaceful. that is, until satoru bursts out laughing. "i don't snore," he blurts out into the darkness, his voice filled with mischief. "i just provide a little background music for the night."

it's at this point that you decide to be extremely biased at the family meeting tomorrow. he’s not winning a damn thing.

[bulbabutt]

okay. lets bite the bullet and talk about 2012. lets talk about child abuse, familial abuse, generational abuse, toxic family units, whatever you wanna call it. lets talk about it and whether it exists in this show. i actually encourage you to read this no matter what your take is, just to hear it out. let me be FUCKING clear: i love this show, but i get scared to talk about it seriously. everyone on every side is defensive all the time but i love every turtles show to no end.

this post is going to go over so well and not controversially at all.

precursor: every splinter is some level of shitty dad. he always has been. the fucking bare bones of the character is that he raised his children to kill the man who killed his own father. thats inherently fucked up. every splinter has some level of fucked up about him. maybe hes inattentive, or neglectful, or strict, or secretive, maybe hes just not very good at dealing with his kids. splinter is supposed to be far from perfect. thats what makes him splinter. maybe he grows over the course of a series, maybe he doesnt. maybe hes supposed to be shitty his whole life, maybe hes not. thats just splinter. each is adapted differently depending on the story being told.

and 2012 has a very interesting tone to its story.

lets start at the beginning, back in japan. this is season 3, was this story what they intended when they started writing the show back in season 1? probably not, theres probably things they would have written differently had they known this was where splinter's story started. thats kind of the way tv works, you add the details later. but for our sake of analyzing the character of splinter as a whole, it seems best to start here as if its all intentional.

hamato yoshi is a member of the hamato clan. theyre a very traditional old ninja clan in the modern world, they have old feuds and theyre trying to keep their culture alive. they're literally the last of a clan of ninjas like this, having (supposedly) defeated the foot clan (their generational enemies) back when yoshi was a baby. hes set out to lead next, and its very important to him. and yet hes married to a woman who works in the city, a modern woman who doesnt live the life he does. she even moved to be with him. i feel the need to compare this to how men in the real world who want traditional wives never go for women who are willing to be their housewives, always try to break down the independent ones. splinter seems unconcerned with how his wife wants to live. with how she wants their daughter to be raised.

im not necessarily saying this is how this comes off in the show, but i find it interesting to think about. this is absolutely the most rounded version of tang shen as a character (thus far) it stops her being just a name on a page "hamato yoshi's love and the object of his enemies affections who died" and turns her into a woman who has a stake in the story. gives her more agency.

its very interesting that this show implies an actual relationship between tang shen and oroku saki, albeit a one-sided one that didnt work out, but they do seem to have parted on equal ground. the pair of them discuss yoshi's inattentive duties as a husband and father, that he's too obsessed with the tradition and lineage of his clan. honestly, if this woman just took her baby and left no one would blame her! he has his priorities set, and it leaves no room for her and their newborn baby. if she ran away with saki at this point, the story would make just as much sense.

but then disaster strikes, saki learns the truth about his family, that he was actually a child of the foot clan (honestly i wish we saw this play out instead of jumping ahead in the story but thats not what this post is about) and he kills he and yoshi's father. revenge for him having killed his. cycles of abuse and revenge that never end. the pair of them were raised in this society that values lineage like this, that would kill for it. its no wonder they both grew up this way.

anyway, tang shen is killed by a blow meant for yoshi, and saki takes their child and raises her. based on splinter's lack of desire to be a father so far in the story, its honestly not one you can blame him for. its fucked up, but it makes sense. saki does to miwa exactly what his father did to him. cycles of abuse and revenge.

yoshi loses everything, and moves to america. he's turned into splinter the mutant rat, and gains four turtle sons.

so as established, he's not exactly grown up with a stable family life. he obviously, while human, wasnt acting as a stable father for the child he intended to have. so how good is he at this?

ive talked before about how the 2003 show treats the turtles as kind of one whole unit. they don't have individual relationship arcs, they dont have overarching storylines where they grow apart or closer, they're always in each other's corner.

2012 makes this more dynamic. here we see that 15 years seeing no one but each other, growing under this splinter has come with its own quirks. these brothers dont understand each other that well. they get jealous of each others treatment, some are left out, some are misunderstood. raph resents leo, none of them appreciate what donnie does, mikey bothers everyone else for attention, etc. it creates a really good starting place for this show.

(the issue i have with this show is more that they never really open or close any of these beats, at least not in ways that last. but boy does it make for some good dramatic scenes)

we see over the course of this first season that splinter treats his children just as he was, as little ninjas more so than sons. he raises them to follow his traditions, the ones tang shen never cared for. but this is all he knows how to be! you cant really blame him.

most people bring up mikey as the quintessential example when they talk about this, i dont want to do that cuz i know you've all heard it. while i think his father does disrespect him and i think it is paid forward and his brothers do too, i'd rather talk about raph for a change.

in one episode, raph loses his temper. to teach him a lesson, splinter makes his brothers pelt him in training while insulting him any way they can, and tells him to just... not lose his temper. this is a terrible lesson in general. instead of trying to coax out why he might be angry, it just plays up that if he loses his temper bad things happen.

splinter in this episode basically encourages bullying. this comes up a lot when it comes to raph. to compare, in 2003 when raph loses his temper, hes told to blow off steam which he does. his brothers don't blame him for having emotional outbursts, they know thats just how he is so they know how he needs to cope with it. he's given the physical space to let it out.

im not saying this show needs to be like that show, im just saying thats a version of this story where the outcome is better for raph as a whole. since this outcome is not as good for him emotionally, you can tell why he's still got these emotional issues. splinter never helps him more than that. thats more why this raph differs from that one, if that makes sense. one has his family in his corner more than the other.

speaking of. raph has a pet turtle. this turtle is the only one he can talk to about how he feels. why might that be? it's the only thing hes kind and gentle to, and he refuses to let his brothers make him feel weak for being kind to it. where did he learn to be ashamed of being kind and gentle? thats a learned behaviour. in a house full of other men... yeah, that would happen. but whos values start that?

when this turtle gets some mutagen spilled on it, it tries to get revenge on his family. there is such a resentment going on here, its extremely juicy. the show chalks this up to "post mutation insanity", but its just as easy to think that everything raph has experienced has made him seem angry and resentful and perhaps scared to his pet, and that former pet wants raph to himself so they can be free. the frustrated venting of a child complaining about how no one understands him in such a big way turns slash into a vengeful monster, cuz thats all he's ever heard. it makes sense, he went from a little turtle to a fully cognizant adult aged being in an instant. emotionally no one would handle that well, and definitely not someone whos only ever heard the worst about people.

he comes around later. notably by being on his own, away from the hamatos.

again, im not saying the show is writing this intentionally, but i think tonally its in the zone where you could see this analysis as being canon. that these little pieces of narrative fit the worldview of a toxic family unit that isnt dealing with its problems in a healthy way.

there's other small aspects. leo slaps mikey early on, having seen it on his favourite show be used as a way of getting someone to calm down. mikey questions this behaviour, leo seems to feel bad about it when questioned. if we know that that behaviour was bad, what other things might he emulate in a similar way?

there's things like donnie's predatory behaviour towards april. in a world where all they ever knew was splinter's stories of the outside world (and perhaps television from decades earlier), hearing splinter's story of his love for tang shen, his rivalry with his own brother over her, you could actually see why he would behave the way he does, why he claims her the way he does. not as an excuse, but as a reason he learned the behaviour. and there's multiple opportunities for his father to tell him off. he never does. why would he? he knows no better.

this splinter, unlike every other, is not old or disabled. he doesnt require a cane (at the start, but also was never a good cane) and its interesting that despite being like... a 40 year old man in the peak of his life he does not accompany his sons on missions. he sits around doing nothing and disproves of his sons heroic actions. april literally calls him out for this at one point. the show is actually telling us some of this man's behaviour is wrong.

one of the more upsetting things that happens in this household is a lot of physical hitting. "theyre training" you might say. understandable. but when you see a lot of hitting come from the father in this show, played for a laugh, when you see splinter play the "drunk master" bit it makes you think. is that okay? isnt that a bit much?

the end of the muckman episode is a freeze frame of splinter (after having knocked out all of his sons to punish them for leaving while grounded) turning his anger on april and her running away. idk thats just not funny to me. this is a bit of the dating of the show, 2012 was a time where character's in shows were meaner, less affectionate, more bullying in nature. that was the sense of humour at the time. that isnt me making a judgment, it's just kind of the era. a pre steven universe world, if that makes sense. so many of the jokes that end in a hit aren't funny in 2024. especially not when they come from a parent.

when this splinter speaks about his kids to their brothers he often ends up insulting them. "you should be like mikey, he never overthinks because he doesn't think", this would be a big reason the boys speak about each other the way they do to their faces. puts forward a bit more of that bullying thing i mentioned earlier. if their own father talks about them like this, of course their brothers do too. so of course they join in and give payback.

again. splinter wasnt raised in a normal family. he was raised in a ninja commune with a bunch of murderers. he wasn't great with his wife and baby daughter. its not surprising that he's bad at this.

so, ive just said a bunch of things about what's wrong with this household as a whole. i think ive explained why the family unit behaves the way it does: generational teachings of feuds and traditional values. i dont think this makes the show bad! i, in fact, wish there was more of it. i think theres so much low hanging fruit that the show kind of wants to play with, but cant fully bring itself to.

specific example: during the space arc on a planet thats driving all the characters emotions against each other we get this amazing scene where raph screams at leo for being splinter's favourite. leo responds by hugging him. its really well done!

however its never brought up again, never actually getting into the nitty gritty of why raph feels like that is exactly what i think makes this show resonate with so many people

its dark! it pulls at your heart strings! it makes people feel seen! we go in mikey's head at one point and see such splintered (lol) personalities in his head. he has a huge anger problem (much like raph) in there. he retreats into imagination land when stressed. the show kind of toys with "these kids are fucked up!" but never lets those character moments go anywhere. i love how fucked up this family is. its so complex, it feels real. at least real to me. i wish it went that little step further and let the characters talk about these things a little more.

maybe you have a different experience, and thats fine! but i wouldnt brush off people like me who look at 2012 and say "these dynamics make me uncomfortable". to excuse it by saying "my family is like that and we're fine" sometimes i just wanna say... <:/ are you? have you talked about that? and if that's your read on it is that its fine, thats great. but some people notice patterns and those patterns can make them uncomfortable. i hope ive explained the patterns here.

i think thats why the fandom is as big as it is. this show would lead to the most amazing deep introspective fan-works youve ever seen, it lays the pieces out so perfectly for you to draw your own conclusions about why they are this way. you cant really blame people for talking about it as if its got a way higher rating than it does. it feels like it does.

i should say, i dont even know if i blame the show on its own for leaving those pieces laying there, it was on nickelodeon. i sense studio meddling in the tone. i mean, given that the show wanted to end with the big mutant apocalypse storyline, and yet the network wanted to end it with the big 87 crossover..... yeah i think its safe to say nick would rather they keep it light.

which is funny, because i think the most controversial thing i can say is i personally love the finale arc as the mutant apocalypse. it so encapsulates my favorite part of this show. to end this show in the darkest timeline and say "even though these characters are so far removed from who they used to be and even though the entire world is over they still have each other in the end" and i find that so perfect.

so. i understand that this is always a touchy topic. i know people want to brush it off as "people say the 12 brothers are abusive to mikey but mikey is fine", and i think thats a really skewed version of it from both sides. first of all. mikey is not fine, look in that boys head. look how he copes. he's not. but also, mikey is not the only victim. they all are. these turtles are victims of their upbringing, victims of generational war. of men who didnt know how to be good fathers in the first place. and thats good writing! it feels deep! it connects!

for more context: any fucked up way you can think of karai being raised by shredder? its probably the same way here. splinter and shredder were raised the same way.

i guess i think about this a lot, cuz i always see things like "oh, rise fans write crossovers where the rise boys love each other and have to teach the 12 boys how to be nice cuz they dont like 2012!" and i just think to myself:

guys. do you understand why a person might do that? why would someone (likely a teenager) want 2012 mikey to be treated nicely by a kinder more openly affectionate version of his own family? do i need to spell that out for you? why do we connect with media at all, why do we write our own stories about it?

if you genuinely dont. i mean, im glad for you. but sometimes you wanna imagine a world in which your own family is more openly affectionate with you. where they hug and tell you theyre proud and love you and you never have to question it, never have to look elsewhere for that kind of approval. its less that they're idolizing rise, and more that they're looking at the two families and saying "this one is emotionally mature and in touch with their feelings more than that one. how would that play out?"

doctor feelings ass response.

look, im not saying everyone understands 2012, that everyone likes or needs to like it. im just trying to say that i think these fucked up parts of 2012 are all around my favourite parts of the show. its an inspiring story about this fucked up little family that has no one but each other, and they're not great about it. they try, but they don't always get it right. i just wish the show would have talked about that part more. but i think that since it doesnt people get to fill in those blanks themselves, and they do it so beautifully. and i really wish people on the internet would be more kind to one another when they wanted to discuss these darker themes they find in it.

these are the reasons i love this show. i think its so very interesting that splinter dies this fucked up father figure who never really apologized for his behaviour. i like that raph needs to be held to stop punching his brothers. that leo doesnt have a good grip on what it is to be a leader, that he tries bad ways of doing it. i like that no one copes well! i like that their relationships are so complex! this show is messy! its good! i wish it was more messy!

and id love if we could be more honest about these things and how they make us feel instead of just brushing each other off as "likes the show" or "doesnt like the show". the things that make me uncomfortable are why i love this show and i'm pretty sure i'm not alone there.

[byunpum]

I can be a better father

Pair: Tsu'tey x Child y/n x Child spider

Warning: Sad, jake being a bad parent, tsu'tey being the peer we all love. Neytiri being a sweetheart.

Note: I had a previous version, but I wanted to make this one from scratch. But if you want to read more about "bad dad jake" HERE. I hope you like it a lot, I really enjoyed making this oneshot.

Request: (anonymous) Idk if your the one who did Jake having a daughter from a one night stand thing and him and her having a strain relationship , I was thinking if Tsu'tey is alive and him seeing her and Spider being literally outcast and kinda neglected by the humans for one reayor another he kinda adopted both of them as his own ( and proybe bit petty for Jake being the way he is he do things better) Like reader just call Jake Jake and not dad but have a good relationship with their half siblings ( they call Tsu'tey dad and he may be rough he dose care about his kids )

Avatar masterlist | Part 1, Part 2 , Part 3

If there was one thing tsu'tey liked to do in the afternoons, it was to go hunting alone. Walking through the jungle, with his bow and enjoying the silence that the jungle provided. He was very comfortable in various branches and bushes, the austrapede was right before his eyes, standing still while eating grass. Just as he was about to shoot, he saw the animal raise its head in alertness and run away. At the same time, he heard a noise coming from his feet. Looking down, he found a small creature. Little Y/N. He relaxed his shoulders, and lowered his bow. Watching as the girl was still literally sitting on he feet with a fruit. The girl was moving the fruit up and down and tapping it on the ground in order to break it.

"y/n" tsu'tey speaks softly, watching as the little girl looks up to see her favorite person. "Tsu…look!!!" speaks the little girl, lifting the fruit in the air. Tsu'tey laughs a little, and kneels down so that he can be at the same height as the little girl. The girl gets up from the ground, and automatically approaches the na'vi. Showing her the fruit. " I want….hunger" y/n speaks, in a very basic na'vi language. The poor thing was trying to learn to speak na'vi and English at the same time. Tsu'tey takes the fruit in her hands, the fruit was very big for a little girl. "What are you doing here alone?" asks tsu'tey stroking the little girl's hands, noticing that she had some scratches and her clothes were all dirty. Out of nowhere, a noise calls her attention…looking up to some bushes ahead. Tsu'tey takes the girl by the arm. Hugging her in order to protect her. "Y/N!!! LOOK…I FOUND MORE!!!" shouts spider, running to the direction where the girl was. Tsu'tey's heart calmed down, as he saw the other human child passing by in the village.

The child run, and bumped into tsu'tey's arm which had them reached out for the child to hug him. "spider…what are you doing here?" asks Tsutey, he knew that spider spoke the na'vi language better and was more extroverted than y/n. "We were hungry and went out hunting" says spider, playfully gesturing with his wooden bow, which tsu'tey had given him as a gift a couple of months ago. "you guys are hungry…wow" says tsu'tey, watching as y/n settles more on his chest. Tsu'tey noticed that spider was also dirty and his tired little face was showing. "Are you tired?" asks tsu'tey, wiping some of spider's hair. They both nod their heads. "How about we go to my hut and I help you cut this fruit?" says Tsutey, the children got happy and started jumping up and down. Tsu'tey stood up and began to guide both little ones home. He didn't have to worry much, both children knew the way very well.

It was not the first time tsu'tey had encountered these two human children. Left alone in the jungle, without parental supervision. This made him uncomfortable and annoyed him. He knew that spider was the son of the man who had hurt his clan, his planet. And he also knew that Y/N was the daughter of jake, well…of the human version of jake. He knew the whole story, neytiri had told him. At first it all seemed strange to him, but with time he could understand. What he couldn't understand was why jakesully didn't love you and always rejected you in some way. Y/n was still his daughter…whatever it was. But apparently he didn't understand this, which caused the man to care much more about the young children. They were both 5 years old, and he could not stop worrying about the welfare of both children. At first it was difficult for him to get close to the two children, but he got used to it.

"Ok…sit over there…and I'll help you cut that fruit" says tsu'tey watching the children running around the hut. Laughing and playing as they sat down where tsu'tey had ordered them to. The man reached for a container of water and a cloth. He had to clean the children up a bit, it pained him to see them so careless. He sat down next to spider, while y/n sat on his lap. "Tsu…I want a giant piece" says spider, yelling a little. Tsu'tey tapped him on the glass of his mask. "Spider…don't scream…I'm right here beside you" says tsu'tey laughing as he watched the boy get up to start playing with some toys tsu'tey had. He made some wooden toys for when they would visit him at his home. "Let's see…you know what you have to do. Hold your breath, pull up your mask and put the fruit in your mouth" says tsu'tey handing a piece to y/n. She was sitting on his lap all this time, quietly.

After the children eat their fruit, he cleans the children. Cleaning their hands, face, combing some of their hair. He even put some beads in their hair, according to him to make them look more of the clan. "How about if I make you some new clothes?" said tsu'tey. The children were so happy, spider grabbed y/n's hand, inviting her to play with him. Tsu'tey enjoyed the view, watching the children play and run around the hut. This felt so good, he always wanted a family. It all seemed so far from reality…he had gotten the idea that he was never going to find his mate. And that he would never have a family. So he enjoyed these moments with the children. After a fun afternoon for him, he decided to take the children to their respective homes. That was the ugly place which humans called 'laboratory'. Tsu'tey had the children carried in his arms, spider was on his neck holding his head, while y/n was on his left arm. The child was holding a little flower she had found on the road. "Y/N!!!" a somewhat loud voice was heard from the distance, tsu'tey watched as jake approached him. The man approached tsu'tey, and tried to take y/n in his arms. But the little girl clung to tsu'tey's arms. "Come here…we have to go home. Where had you gone?" asks jake, his tone of voice sounding annoyed. "They were in the jungle…both children" says tsu'tey holding both children tighter. "I think they ran away from me and…" jake started to give an explanation.

"There is no excuse…you have to be more aware of them. If you don't want y/n, at least watch out for their safety," tsu'tey says even more annoyed. Jake remains silent, he knew his friend was right. Jake did love you, but he didn't have the same connection he had with his children. He was never there during your pregnancy, or in your first years of life. So to him…y/n was just another child. Tsu'tey carefully handed both children to jake. "Take them to a safe place…please" tsu'tey talks, while releasing the little ones. They didn't want to get away from him. Spider was whining and y/n was starting to cry. Tsu'tey gave him a little kiss on the crown of his head and said goodbye to the children. Watching as jake tried to soothe them. It broke his heart, how he wished he could stay with them. But how could that be possible? He could pick up spider, he had no one. But y/n? She had her father…he couldn't go and ask her…that would never happen.

That same week, the children continued to hang out in their hut. Playing and spending all day with him. He practically had two new little tails. He would feed them, which was a difficult task because of the oxygen masks. He also taught them what they needed to know to survive in Pandora. And he gave them lots of love…who would have thought that a man like tsu'tey could be so loving. He combed and cared for his children. He liked to think of them as his…his little babies. Everyone in the clan was surprised to see tsu'tey with two human children, treating them as if they were his own. They talked and said comments but he didn't care. Someone had to take care of these two orphans and he was doing it. While jake and norm were in their own worlds…neytiri noticed tsu'tey's new behavior toward the human children.

Unlike jake, neytiri cared about you. She always tried to take care of you, when you were in the family hut. After all, you were half-sister to her children. It was the middle of the day…and she was sitting in the hut, looking after and watching her young children play. And in that group was y/n…playing with lo'ak. She watched as the little girl ran up, screaming. "'Dad…daddy!!!'" says y/n. Running toward the entrance, neytiri turns around expecting to see her mate. But she was surprised to see tsu'tey standing in the doorframe. The man had a basket full of vegetables, and was kneeling down waiting for the little girl's hug. The girl hugs him with all her heart, as he lifts her into the air, settling her in his arms. Walking to where neytiri was. "Hello…neytiri. I brought something for the family" says tsu'tey, he seemed to be very happy. "Thank you…I am grateful" says neytiri, accepting the basket and watching as her friend sat down next to her. All the children went to greet them, he lovingly greeted them one by one.

Neytiri appreciated the treatment and love tsu'tey had for her children. That's how it should be…after all he was practically her brother. After greeting all the children, Y/n hugged tsu'tey again and settled on her lap. "my pretty flower…how are you? Have you eaten?" asks tsu'tey, adjusting the girl's hair. "Yes… neyney gave me a nice meal" says the little girl lifting up her dirty shirt to show her stomach. Both adults laugh, neytiri reaches over and touches the little girl's stomach tickling it. She liked that nickname the little y/n had given her, neyney….sounded so adorable. "That sounds perfect…look I brought you something?" says Tsutey, pulling something out of a little pouch on his waist. Neteyam had come over, sitting right next to you on tsu'tey's lap. "Is that clothes?" asks the little neteyam, squeezing his sister. "yes, it's for y/n…it's just like kiri's" says tsu'tey, untangling the clothes. Stretching it out to show it to everyone, neytiri was surprised. It was small, but it was very beautiful. With feathers, and very delicate stones.

" My,my,my!!!" y/n speak, raising her arms so she could take her clothes. "Kiri…why don't you help your sister change" neytiri says, while kiri took y/n's hand. Behind the two of them, there was neteyam. "We have to put a bracelet on her" shouts the boy, both adults laugh. Tsu'tey was surprised at how attached the children were to y/n, even neytiri. So the problem was…jake. "She calls you dad," neytiri says, not mincing words. As she looked at what was in the basket. "She just calls 'jake' to her father…" neytiri was about to keep talking, when tsu'tey interrupts her. "Neytiri… being a parent is something you earn. And I think I have done an excellent job with those children." Tsu'tey says, he was proud of his words, for he knew they were true. "I know… and I am very proud of you. I'm aware that my partner doesn't give her the attention that child needs… so you've earned that title," the woman speaks. They both stand in silence for a while.

"I think I would be a better father to her? And also for the boy?" speaks tsu'tey, neytiri now looks at him with concern. She didn't know what to tell him now, this was a difficult situation. "You mean…you want to adopt them?" asks neytiri, she wanted to be sure she had listened well. "Yes, I want them to be my children. I will take complete care of them and Jake won't have to worry about anything…they will be in good hands."

Neytiri knows deep down that this is for the best. Although it was hard to believe, tsu'tey had accepted the presence of those human children. Maybe he felt sorry for them, since they spent all day alone. If Y/N was not with neytiri, she was alone with spider doing what things. She knew tsu'tey would be an excellent father, and she would support him. "I'll talk to jake…but I'm not promising anything" says neytiri, seeing how on tsu'tey's face a big smile was drawn. "She will still come and she will be with her brothers…I just want her to be safe" tsu'tey tries to convince neytiri. The woman puts a hand on her friend's shoulder. "Calm down…I will do what I can" neytiri speaks. They both looked up, when they heard the children approaching. Y/N had the na'vi clothes that tsu'tey had made for him. She also had a few accessories that her siblings had put on her. Y/N runs to neytiri, wrapping her small arms around her neck. "Let me see…you look very pretty. Do you like it?" says neytiri, arranging several pieces of the outfit. "Yessssss!!!" shouts the excited little girl. "Mom…did you see that I put my bracelet on y/n…it looks better on her" says neteyam, arranging more of the piece on her sister's arm.

"They did a great job," tsu'tey says. Neytiri fixes the girl's hair, while her brothers play with her. "Hey…how do you say?" orders neytiri looking at you with a serious look. "Thank you" y/n gets shy, while thanking tsu'tey. The latter reaches over and caresses a cheek of the little one. He could already feel the excitement, hopefully jake would accept. He felt grateful to know that someone cared for her, neytiri was doing a great job in taking care of her. And if he kept the little girl, he would bring y/n every day to spend time with her. He could tell they had a nice relationship. After a while, the man said goodbye to everyone, neytiri told him that she was going to stay with y/n and not to worry. He had to go to the lab to look for spider. He had also prepared an outfit for his little boy.

When he got to the lab, he knocked on the door. Norm let spider out, the man took good care of him. But not well enough, children need to be given love and time. And these people weren't doing that. He waited patiently for his boy to come out. According to Norm, Spider was asleep and he had to get him up. After about 5 minutes, the little boy came out, sleepy. Tsu'tey carries him, and the little boy hugs him. "I brought you a surprise," says tsu'tey, lowering the boy to the ground. As he pulled out a bundle, in which his new outfit was wrapped. Spider was so happy, tsu'tey's eyes lit up at the sight of the little boy's face. So excited, for such a simple gesture. Spider took the gift and ran inside the lab to change. "Wait for me here!!!" shouts the boy tsu'tey laughs and sits down on the metal stairs to wait for the boy. He is convinced that it was a good idea to create their own na'vi clothing, this way they will be cleaner and feel more comfortable.

The day happened just as he had planned it. If everything went well…Jake would agree to let him stay and take care of y/n. If he was a smart man he would agree to let him stay and take care of them. If he was a smart man he would agree right away. Tsu'tey began to clear away the mess he had in his hut. There were a few toys that the children had left in the morning, he was so happy. After a while, he heard someone enter his hut, "Hello…" tsu'tey spoke, noticing that it was Jake who had arrived. He quickly interrupts him. "You think you can just go to neytiri and ask her for me to give y/n to you. That's not how it works" says jake, he was a bit annoyed. This put tsu'tey on alert, how dare he complain to him if he didn't even want to and didn't even pay attention to y/n. "Are you listening to yourself… I'm the one who takes care of those children. I'm the one who feeds them, takes care of them and watches over them. You don't even pay attention to y/n" tsu'tey raises his voice, he is so upset. He wanted to hit this man right now, but he was controlling himself. Just then, neytiri arrives at the hut. She was agitated and you could see her worried face.

"Norm lost the children!!!" says neytiri worriedly. The woman had taken y/n to the lab in the afternoon. She handed her over to Norm, since y/n couldn't sleep all night in the hut, the oxygen wouldn't last long. But couple of minutes later, lo'ak came running to his mother saying that when he went to play with his sister and didn't find her and that norm was looking for her. And that with her was spider. Neytiri quickly tried to explain everything to the men in front of her, she felt that she had interrupted something that was about to end very badly. Hearing that spider and y/n were lost, he quickly ran, pushing jake aside and going to the lab area. Neytiri didn't even look at Jake and took off after his friend. Jake followed some time later.

Tsu'tey arrived at the lab upset, norm was in his avatar body holding a flashlight. Tsu'tey grabbed norm's shoulders, he had to tell him where the children were. "No…they said they were going to play nearby, they said something about some flowers" norm spoke quickly, tsu'tey could be quite an intimidating man. As soon as norm mentioned flowers, tsu'tey knew where both children are. He relaxed a little, but not at all, the road to that place could be quite dangerous at night. Tsu'tey started walking, ignoring some complaints from jake and some questions from neytiri. They decided to follow the man without any protests. The path was quite close, it was a place where tsu'tey used to take the children to play. A nice meadow that had a lot of flowers, bright. It was a beautiful place, but it could be a bit dangerous for two five year olds.

Arriving at the meadow tsu'tey saw two small figures in the dark, he approached slowly accompanied by jake, neytiri and norm. "And what are you two doing here?" speaks tsu'tey with a calm and sweet voice. Causing both children to look up, running a little towards the man. Tsu'tey wrapped his arms around them, sighing with relief. "I thought something serious happened to you guys…you shouldn't be here at night" says tsu'tey, looking annoyed at the children. "We're sorry!!!" says both children, holding hands. Jake walks over to where the children are, carrying them. "Well…we have to go" says jake, neytiri stood next to tsu'tey…she knew he was upset. She took his hand and gave it a squeeze. "I tried…but he's kind of stubborn" neytiri speaks. "He doesn't know how to take care of them…. y/n. He…" tsu'tey turns away from neytiri and starts walking home.

He could feel several tears running down his cheeks. He felt anger and insufficient… he only wanted the best for these children. He himself felt strange, to feel compassion and affection for human children. He arrived at his hut, and quickly lay down in his hammock. He had to get used to the idea that he could never have his own family, that he would never be able to take enough care of these children, because they did not belong to him and although he did not like the idea, they already had their own parents. He settled down, trying to relieve himself of his feelings. He almost got his sleep, but finally after a long time he was able to sleep. The night passed quickly, and as usual he got up early. Wiping his face, not noticing anything else around him.

Out of nowhere he felt someone moving something in his hut. Turning his eyes slowly, he saw a spider looking in the basket where the toys were. Then he saw y/n sitting down, she was playing with one of the wooden ikran. He couldn't believe it, what was going on? Why were the kids here so early in the morning? "Norm said he'll bring you an oxygen capsule later…so the kids can sleep in there" speaks jake…he was on the other side of the hut. Sitting on the floor. Tsu'tey is surprised, and pulls back. "What?" tsu'tey was surprised, he didn't understand what was going on. ""You're so right….I'm a bad father to Y/N"" speaks jake. Both men talk, and begin to set the record straight. Jake knew that he wasn't the best thing for Y/N, and that he neglected her too much.

He had talked to neytiri at night, she talked to him. That it was best for Y/N to be with tsu'tey. Jake had been thinking about it all night, it was the best thing to do. Besides, he wouldn't be far from her…besides, his daughter didn't call him father. To her, her father was the man in front of him the one who had taken care of her for the last two years. Like Y/N, Jake talked to Norm…he told him that Spider should go with Tsu'tey, that he was the best thing for these children. Jake said goodbye to both children, and walked away without looking back. Although he didn't want to admit it, it hurt him a little to admit that he was a bad father and that it was too late now.

Left alone with both children, tsu'tey sits still stunned by the situation. He could not believe it, eywa had heard his prayers. His heart wanted to burst out of his chest, he was so happy. The little girl approaches her father, and hands him the toy. She had a cute smile on her face. "You know you will stay with me…I-I will be your daddy" says tsu'tey, taking the hand of spider, who had come closer. Both children nodded their heads. "I promise I will take care of you…I promise" both children hug their new father tightly. Even though they always knew…that he was their father.

ps. Thank you for leaving your request, I know it took me a long time to reply. I have had some problems with my laptop, but I will be answering them this week little by little. But don't think I have forgotten you.

[lincolndjarin]

Every Now and Then - ch. two

[ And if You Only Hold Me Tight ]

pairing : joel miller x f!reader, platonicsoulmate!tommy & f!reader

word count : 9.3k

summary : you spend some time tommy, you spent some time with joel.

tags/warnings : 18+ mdni, angst, canon typical violence, language, panic attacks, violence, injury, wounds, possessive behavior, toxic relationships, animal death, i probs missed some i never know how to tag so lmk if i misses anything !!

a/n : this took so long and i dont even know it its good so i'm deeply sorry about that.

ao3 .𖥔 ݁ ˖ series masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ main masterlist .𖥔 ݁ ˖ kofi

Now - JACKSON, WYOMING : 2023

“It’s nice to meet you Ellie.” You hold your hand out across the table to her, offering your own name up in the process, noticing an incredulous look in her eyes as you say it. Of course she doesn’t shake it, you’ve worked with enough survivors her age to know how they think. 

She doesn’t trust any of this, and you can’t blame her. Every single thing she’s seen since arriving here is too good to be true, she’s waiting for the other shoe to drop. That’s okay, you can be patient. She just needs to learn how to be a kid again. When she makes no attempt to move you pull your hand back, your smile never wavering. You’ve met kids in much worse condition than this, you can work with this. 

“Why don’t you tell me a little bit about yourself, Ellie.” You set the notebook you’d been writing in back down onto the table, you don’t want this to feel like an interrogation for her, it needs to be a conversation or you won’t get any of the information you need.

“Like what?” She’s slouched down into the chair, her arms crossed across her chest. She has her defenses up, she has spent her entire life protecting herself, she isn’t going to stop just because a stranger offered her a mug of tea. A mug of tea that she has notably not touched. 

“Anything you want to, or I could ask some specifics if you’d like.” You take a sip of your own tea, hoping it might show her it’s safe. She only hums in response, you decide it might be for the best if you just ask her what you need to know. “Let’s start with a few easy ones, how old are you?” 

“Why do you need to know?” 

“We need to assess your health, what classes you’ll be put in, if you’ll be needing any feminine products. I promise, anything I ask is for your own good.” Seeing kids like Ellie is a painful reminder of just how lucky your own little ones are, it’s a wonder she made it this far. You can’t hold her skepticism against her, her distrust is why she’s still alive. “Would it help if we brought your father in? He’s just down the hall with Maria.” You aren’t sure why, you typically handle every stray but she had insisted on helping you out today. She’d spewed some sort of excuse about how Ellie might need some special attention but as far as you can tell she’s in the same state that most kids are in when they arrive. 

“He’s not my dad.” She’s quick to say it, as if it’s a sore subject. 

“May I ask his relation to you then?” Maria had told you she arrived with her father, you were told to expect one teenage girl and one man in his fifties.

“He’s… my friend?” She sounds unsure, unsure enough to ring alarm bells in your head. 

“Honey, are you in a safe situation? We can help you if you need-” She doesn’t even let you finish your question before sitting up straighter.

“No, no, no, gross, it’s not like that, he’s not like that.” The look of disgust on her face brings you immense relief, this world is full of enough horrors for a young woman to face. 

“Okay, I just wanted to make sure.” Even if she hasn’t been through that, she hasn’t had it easy, no one has. But there’s something distinct in her eyes. Loss. She’s seen more than enough of it, more than anyone her age should. Her eyes keep darting to the door, her head tilts in that direction every time someone walks by. She’s worried about her companion. She doesn’t want to lose him too. “I know none of this makes sense, and you have no reason to trust me but I need you to try Ellie. And if I ask you anything you aren’t comfortable with then you don’t have to answer but I need you to try, please. The faster we finish up here, the faster you can get back to your friend.” 

She takes a moment, you’re practically holding your breath when she finally nods.

Perfect, you can work with a nod. You love a nod, a nod is all you need to help this girl.

“Let’s start with your age again.” 

“Fourteen.” You’ll have to have a menstruation kit sent to whatever house they put her in, most people’s cycles start being regular once after a few months in Jackson.

“Thank you.” All you get is another nod yet you can’t help but smile. “Do you know where you were born?”

“No.” Her eyes are trained on your shoes, occasionally darting around the room but staying low for the most part. 

“Where did you grow up?” 

“The QZ.” The thought makes you sick for several reasons. The last place a child should grow up is the streets of a quarantine zone, even if she was in the FEDRA program it wouldn’t have been easy. The thought of any QZ still makes you queasy, even after this long. 

“Which one?” Anywhere but Boston. 

“Boston.” Of course. With your luck she would be. Someone’s far from home.  

“FEDRA program?” As terrible as they are, they always keep the kids' vaccinations up to date, one less thing for you to worry about. 

“Mhmm.” 

“How old were you when you left?”

“Fourteen.” How the hell did she make it to Jackson all the way from Boston in such a short period of time? Why come to Jackson at all? There’s certainly other QZ’s between here and there, there’s probably other settlements too. 

“Can I ask why you left?” It’s not a question you need to ask but your stomach is in knots at the mention of the Boston QZ and you can’t help yourself. 

“I’d rather you didn’t.” Something flashes across her face, she isn’t trying to be rude, she simply doesn’t want to talk about it. 

“That’s fine.” You don’t need to worry about it. She doesn’t know him. There’s no reason for her to know him. QZ’s house hundreds, if not thousands, of people. There’s no reason to spiral over nothing. “Do you have any allergies that you’re aware of?”

“Nope.” She makes a popping sound on the “P” as she leans back in the chair, trying to look relaxed despite how on edge she still is. You decide not to put anymore pressure on her, it won’t do you any good. 

“How are you feeling physically? Any symptoms of illness?”

“Like infection?” You have to stifle a laugh, if she was infected the two of you certainly wouldn’t be sitting here right now. 

“I’m not worried about that, I mean something more like a runny nose or a cough.”

“Oh. No.” 

“Any skills in particular you’d like to learn? Our school system is a little less traditional than what you probably had with FEDRA.”

“I like science.” She sits up a bit, good, you’ve found something that piques her interest. 

“Then I will make sure you’re enrolled in some science classes. But I meant skills like agriculture, construction, or veterinary care. Something you could learn about that interests you. You won’t be asked to help out around town until you’re sixteen but we like to let you explore different things to see what you like-”

“Could I learn how to shoot a gun?” She leans forward before you can finish your thought. 

“You could apprentice some of the hunters, we could also have you trained for patrol and scavenging which involves gun safety and training courses. You’re a bit young for those but I’m sure I could ”

“Really?” You can tell by the inflection in her voice that she still doesn’t trust you entirely, even if she’s excited.

“Of course, you’ll probably be the youngest student in the training class but I’m sure you can handle it.” She needs something good in her life. You want to protect everyone who finds their way to Jackson but this girl makes your heart ache. Most adults you’ve worked with aren’t able to hold themselves together this long, putting on a brave face despite everything. 

“Do you like burgers?” You almost cringe as you say it, hoping she’s had food outside of the synthetic shit FEDRA produces.

“I guess?”

“I’m having a little cookout tomorrow evening once everyone’s finished their work, it’ll be small, just me and some family but you’re welcome to join. You can bring your friend, I have two little ones you can play with. They might be a little younger than your usual friends but I promise they’re great company.” You swear she almost smiles, and suddenly you just want to make this poor kid smile. “You know, I’ve got a telescope in my garage, so if you stop by it’s all yours.”

“Seriously?”

“Absolutely, I’ve never even touched the thing so maybe you can put it to good use. Let me write down the house description for you, it isn’t too far from this building, you can stop in whenever you want tomorrow. There’s an empty house across the street as well, maybe I could show it to you, see if you like it.” You pencil it down, tearing the paper and handing it to her. This isn’t something you’d typically do but you can’t resist an opportunity to help her feel more at home here. 

“Yeah, I mean that would be great.”

“Perfect.” You lean back in your chair. “What sort of hobbies interest you?” You’ll be in charge of putting together a welcome basket for her since Maria has marked her down as a permanent occupant.

“Reading, I like comics. And I used to draw a lot in the QZ.” Perfect, books are easy to find since Jackson was built around a small library.

“Okay then, I think that’s all I need from you for now but I’ll be around soon once you get housing settled. You can go join Maria and your friend if you’d like, I have to figure out what house we’re going to put you two in but I’ll be stopping by later with a few things for you.” That actually isn’t all you need from her, there are more questions on your mind, one specific question. Ask her what his name is. 

“Thanks.” She stands, quickly heading towards the exit as you grab your notebook, you need to make a list of everything they’ll be needing. 

You shouldn’t. If by some stroke of misfortune you’re right this question will only serve to destroy everything you’ve worked so hard to push away. You shouldn’t.

But you do. 

Before she’s out the door you call out her name, you don’t want to know, but you have to.

“Ellie, what’s your friend's name?”

You found the treehouse two months after you found Jackson. 

With tears streaming down your face you had dropped the twins off at Maria’s, mumbling apologies before going to the edge of town, a large amount of Jackson was empty, and still is. They’re planning for the future. Someday, generations from now, the town will grow and they’ll use these houses to accommodate families. But for now it’s just an empty town, one that you realized had a treehouse. You had hidden yourself away there, curling up into a ball to become as small as possible.

Tommy had found you hours later, shivering, with no more tears left to cry. And he hadn’t chastised you or asked you why you’d done it, he’d just taken your hand and walked you home. It doesn’t take him hours this time, only about thirty minutes according to your watch. You hear the crunch of his boots, the walking pattern you recognize as his, and the creak of the boards as he pushes the hatch open before sliding up into the small space with you. 

Before he speaks you’re already reaching for him, desperate to cling to some kind of familiar safety. 

“Hey darlin’.” It’s a dance you two do, fluid and instinctual as he pulls you into his arms, you slot yourself between his bent legs as he wraps himself around you. You used to sit like this when you couldn’t find shelter on snowy nights, one of the many habits you had trouble breaking when you found Jackson. Maria would never ask you to change your relationship with him, it was a decision you had made with Tommy when he told you he wanted to marry her. A part of you just sort of knew she didn’t like it, so you stopped. And you’d never hold that against her, if the roles were reversed you certainly wouldn’t be as kind as she’s been. That’s why you’ve always loved Maria, since the first day you met her she has been like a sister, patient but blunt with you. 

Except in this one instance. 

She withheld some particularly important information.

“The twins?” You lay back against him as you mumble.

“Maria’s watching them. They’re helping her make dinner, you shoulda’ seen them in the kitchen. I swear she’s the only person they listen…” His voice trails off when he feels you tensing up all over again as you go back to fighting off tears.

A silence falls between you, familiar and reminiscent of your first few days together out in the woods. And just like back then, you’re the one to break it. 

“Have you seen him yet?” The words feel small and hoarse in your throat.

“No. Couldn’t bring myself to.” He rests his chin on your shoulder, you wish you could find comfort in any of this but there’s just too much dread. Too much unease fills your stomach to relax. 

“Does he know you’re here?” You wish your voice didn’t tremble so much.

“Maria didn’t tell him.” 

“Are we sure it’s even him?” 

“Not a lot of Joel Millers walking around during the apocalypse.” It’s like he can sense your skepticism as he quickly continues. “She said he looked like a Miller.”

“What does that even mean?”

“Like me but grayer.” Fair enough.

“Does he know I’m here?” There’s no way. He couldn’t. 

“No.” 

“Good.” 

“Can’t stay that way forever.” You know that. But you don’t have anything to say about it so you move on, and redirect the anger that mixes with your confusion and fear.

“Why didn’t she tell us?” He can’t take your side in this, as much as you want him to, he has to take her side because her’s is the rational one. Do you have a side? Can you be mad at her for this? Are there even sides?

“Probably because she knew we’d react like this.” His head tilts a bit to rest against your own. You’re thankful for this position so you don’t have to look him in the eye.

“She should have told us.” You’re trying to remain calm but your voice is pitching up higher by the minute. 

“She was going to, she just didn’t know how. She thought she had more time” 

You need to relax. It feels like your heart is going to burst from your chest and you’re certain Tommy feels it too. 

“How did he find us?” He wouldn’t have been looking for you specifically, unless he had a death wish. 

“On accident, I think. Maria said he was looking for me when they found him.” That makes sense. It’s just a coincidence that you’re also here. He has no way of knowing that you even know Tommy. How he managed to locate him is another matter. 

“We’re two thousand miles away from the QZ, how the fuck did he find you?”

“He always gets what he wants.” 

You can’t argue with that. Plain and simple, you don’t need much more than that. 

“I don’t want to see him.” An impossible request, but you make it anyway. 

“We both know that isn’t possible.” 

“Tell her to send him away.” Also unlikely. 

“You know she can’t do that, we don’t turn folks away from Jackson.” 

“Then I’ll leave.”

“Like hell you will.” There is no fight in his voice, just certainty as he holds you a little tighter. Not without me. The silent promise that lingers under his words, but it’s more complicated than that now, you have two toddlers and he has a wife, there is no running away from this. No running away from him

He’s inevitable. 

It doesn’t matter if the world ends, and you run halfway across the country, Joel Miller is inevitable.

“He’s got a kid.” You mumble as you reach for his hand, entwining your fingers with his. You hadn’t realized how cold you were until you felt the warmth of his skin against yours. 

He scoffs. “He’s got two.”

“Another kid, some girl. He brought her here all the way from Boston.”

He shifts a bit, clearly confused. “Why?”

“I was hoping you’d know, it isn’t exactly in his nature to help the needy.” 

He pauses for a moment. “Well, I mean, how old is she?”

“Fourteen.” 

“Well there’s your reason, Sarah was fourteen.”

Sarah.

A girl you know very little about other than the fact that she’s your daughter's namesake. Sarah Ruth Miller. It had been Tommy’s idea, you had only picked out a name for a boy and you owed Tommy everything for keeping you alive that long, so when he asked if he could pick his niece's middle name you’d been more than happy to oblige. 

It hadn’t been Joel who told you about Sarah, he never even told you he had a kid. 

Tommy had told you about it just before the twins were born. You’d been snowed into a cabin and he’d just returned from hunting with a grin on his face as he told you he had a surprise. You couldn’t sleep, between the cold and the pain in your lower back you were just too uncomfortable most nights. Tommy always insisted on staying up to keep you company even if he ended up falling asleep most of the time. 

That night he told you about how he lost his niece on outbreak day as he skinned the fox he’d caught in one of his traps as you sat beside him in front of the crumbling fireplace. When he finished the story he held up the pelt and told you he was going to make your babies first blanket with it. 

Of course at the time neither of you knew that he would have to make a second blanket, or that he would need to do it a month sooner than either of you had planned. 

“I invited him to dinner tomorrow.” No sense in hiding the fact from him, he’ll find out either way. 

“What?” His hand tightens around yours and it’s your turn to comfort him as your thumb rubs circles against the tense skin.

“Ellie- the kid, I invited her before I knew about Joel. Even told her she could bring him.” You almost laugh at how ridiculous it all sounds now. Of course you invited him to dinner completely by accident, sounds like something you would do. 

“Then why don’t we just get it over with?” Or you could leave, brave the Wyoming wilderness with your kids and his wife and make a run for it, far, far, away from Joel Miller. 

But you can’t do that. 

So you might as well get it over with. 

“Together?” You bring his hand up to your face to warm the icy skin of your cheek.

“Together.” 

He means it. He stays with you until the next day, walking you back into town and bringing you to his house. Maria starts apologizing the second the two of you walk through the door but you just hug her. She doesn’t owe you anything, any anger you thought you felt towards her was misplaced. 

And you all settle in for the night. 

On particularly bad nights you’ll spend the night at their house. It’s been happening less and less these last few months but it’s an unspoken decision tonight as Maria brings down sleeping bags from the attic for the kids. 

You tuck the kids in by the fireplace, hoping that they don’t catch the vacant look in your eyes as you kiss their foreheads. Thankfully they both seem to be too excited about having a living room campout to notice. You hear hushed whispers from the kitchen, it sounds like an argument so you just sit on the couch, wrapping a blanket around yourself as you stare out the window facing the street. 

What house did she put them in? There are a few options for temporary housing, but he could be anywhere. The thought makes you nauseous. Thankfully you’re distracted when you eventually hear Maria stomping up the stairs followed by a sigh from the kitchen before Tommy joins you on the couch. 

“Everything all right?” You mumble, hoping to not wake the kids as you offer up some of the blanket to him. 

“It will be.”

God you hope so.

“How do you wanna do this?” 

Good question. 

Preferably you wouldn’t be doing this at all, instead you would be enjoying what might be the last nice day before autumn sets in entirely. You, Arthur, Ruth, Tommy, and Maria. You’d still be happy if Ellie came over by herself but that’s so unlikely you don’t even consider it an option. Joel’s too protective and you confirmed with Maria that Ellie would be coming. He won’t let her go alone, you know that better than anyone. 

You rub the back of your neck with your freehand. “The kids stay inside with Maria.” Ruth is already there, helping her aunt with the salad as Arthur sits in your lap, playing with a few stones he’s set up on the picnic table. 

“Okay.” Tommy’s biting his nails, you’d spent weeks reprimanding him about that until he broke the habit.  

Your knee starts bouncing, a nervous habit of your own that you’ve had for as long you can remember. Thankfully Arthur simply hums to himself as you bounce him. As far as you can tell neither one of the twins knows something is wrong, you can only hope it stays that way. 

“We can wait for them out here, I can ask Ellie to go in and help Maria with the kids.”

“And then?”

You frown in contemplation. “I haven’t planned that far ahead.”

“So you didn’t plan for the most important part?”

“Did you?” 

His teeth shift when you ask, biting down hard enough to split his nail lower than he intended. You watch as blood blooms there while he curses under his breath.   

“Shit, go inside and grab a bandage, they’re in the cabinet above the sink.” He stands as you wave him towards the house, he brings his thumb to his mouth, his brow furrowed. “And bring Maria and Ruth out with you when you come back so we can go over everything with her.” He nods, humming in response before he disappears behind the screen door.

“Is Uncle Tommy okay?” When you look down you’re met with a worried look plastered on your son's face. You instinctively cup his face with your hand, using your thumb to smooth out the wrinkle between his brows. He looks too much like his father when he does that. 

“He’s okay, love. He’s just gotta go get your Aunt and Ruth.” You lean down, kissing his forehead before turning to set him down next to you. 

“Okay, Mama.” He seems satisfied with your response as he gives your leg a little pat before running off towards the edge of the yard. You’ve got a patch of rocks and gravel the kids like to dig through. You turn to watch him, with your back now leaning against the picnic table as he crouches down, examining the ground before finding a suitable stone. Clutching it in his hand he rushes back to you, holding it up for your approval.

“Very pretty, thank you.” You take it from him with a smile, setting it behind you on the table with the rest of them. He repeats the process several times, staring down at the ground, scrutinizing each rock before bringing the ones he deems good enough over to you. You give appropriate oo’s and ah’s to each one, grateful for the brief peace your son is able to give you. He carries on with this for sometime, until you have a sizable pile of rocks beside you. 

He leaves, and he returns, dozens of times until he decides not to return to the patch of gravel. 

You thank him for the speckled stone he hands you now but instead of running back across the yard he squints, staring up at your expression. 

“What’s wrong?” He hops up onto the bench next to you, grabbing the sleeve of your shirt and bunching it up in his little fist as you give him a soft smile.

“Nothing’s wrong, hon.” You ruffle his hair a bit but he doesn’t seem convinced. 

“Why’d you make a mad face then? Uncle Tommy too.” 

So much for the kids being clueless, they’ve always been too smart for their own good. 

Shit.

You sigh, looking up at the clouds briefly before looking back down at him.

No sense in lying to him. “You know how Uncle Tommy has a brother?” You wrap an arm around him, pulling him close.

His face scrunches up a bit as he thinks. “Yeah…” He doesn’t sound entirely convinced as you give him a reassuring smile. 

“Well, we don’t really- we don’t always get along with Uncle Tommy’s brother, and he’s gonna be visiting us soon.” 

“Why?” 

“He’s in Jackson for a little bit, and he came a long way to get here-”

“No Mama, why don’t you like him?”

This is a conversation you had hoped to have with your children when they’re older. Preferably it would be one you wouldn’t have to have at all, but it’s just another unavoidable part of Joel. They’re already old enough to ask questions, it started when kids in their class began asking if Tommy was their dad. Which of course led to the twins asking you one night just before bed the same question. 

“No love, he’s your uncle, who told you that?” You don’t want that rumor going around, people already talk about it, it doesn’t help that they both bear a resemblance to him.

“No one, Annie asked us.” Your daughter answers as you brush some of her hair behind her ear.  You recognize the name, it’s a girl in their daycare class. 

“And what did you tell her?”

“That we just got a mom.” Ruth answers but Arthur picks up the second she’s finished speaking. 

“Do we have a dad?” He tilts his head to the side as you swallow loudly. 

“Yes, you do.”

“Where?” Ruth asks. 

Last you’d heard he was in Boston. 

“I’m not sure.” They turn and look at each other before turning in unison towards you, you should have known they wouldn’t take that answer. “We lived together for a little while, in New York, and then we got separated.” None of that means anything to either of them but it’s an answer, which is better than nothing.

Arthurs tiny hand squeezes yours, pulling you back into reality. You often wonder if they know when you’re lost in a memory, he looks up at you curiously. What did you do to deserve such a patient child? 

You take a moment to think of a way to phrase it. “We… got into a fight. A long time ago.”

“About what?”

“Grown up stuff.” Your heartbeat quickens, you don’t want him to know about all that, he’s too little, you need to end this conversation.

“What kin-“ When he starts another line of questioning you poke at his sides, sliding him off the bench in a fit of giggles. 

“Time to go inside, nosy little man.” You follow after him as he rushes away, brown hair that’s just starting to curl at the ends falling into his eyes as he runs away from the house.

You catch up to him within a few steps, scooping him up and cradling him like a baby. He lets out a high pitched shriek until you squish your face into his cheek, kissing the rosy skin until he quiets down to a few small giggles. 

“Your aunt needs some help in the kitchen, you’re gonna go play with her and your sister now.” He nods as he squirms in your arms until he’s more comfortable, wrapping his arms around your neck and resting his chin on your shoulder as you walk him back towards the house. 

He’s gonna need a nap soon, which means Ruth is gonna need a nap soon. Maybe you should try and get them both down before everything else happens. 

Right on cue, Tommy pushes open the door with Ruth on his hip, Maria not far behind him. Based on the smiles they’re both sporting you can assume they’ve made up. They always do. 

“I think it might be time for these two to head inside.” Tommy gives you a soft smile and for a single second you get to pretend that everything’s fine. Maria takes a lighter towards the grill, trying to light it as you go to stand next to Tommy, the twins both grinning at each other. 

In your own little bubble, everything is completely fine, and you’re with your family. 

And at the end of your single perfect second the bubble is popped. It all happens before you’re ready, although you doubt you could ever really be ready for this. 

Maria pockets her lighter, mumbling something about going inside to look for matches after a few unsuccessful attempts. You set Arthur down, nudging him in her direction, he quickly runs towards her, taking her hand as she begins to make her way back towards the house. Tommy wraps his free hand around your shoulder. Giving you a reassuring squeeze as you rest your head against him to stare at your little girl. 

“We’ve got this.” He gives you another squeeze but you’re struggling to find safety in it. He’s always been the strong one, the confrontational one. He’s got this. You don’t. You tilt your head to stare at him when Ruth’s gaze goes from your face to his but your head snaps to the side when you hear your name called. 

Everyone looks up. The twins, Maria, Tommy, and you, as Ellie walks around the side of the house and waves at you. The sound of your name makes the man walking behind her look as well, his all too familiar scowl scanning the yard, softening into a look of disbelief when his eyes settle on you.

Then - NEW YORK CITY, QUARANTINE ZONE : 2019

“I don’t like havin’ you out there on your own. I worry too much.” He mumbles the words against the back of your neck as he tightens his hold around your waist. At some point the two of you had stopped pretending you’d wake up any other way and just went to bed like this. “Stay here, angel.” 

You’re so comfortable you almost consider it, but you ran out of cards last week and you’re cleared for work as of today. “I have to go if I want to sign up for any of the well paying shifts, Joel.” You peel his arms off of you, sitting up as he matches your movements. 

“Don’t sign up for that shit, it’s always somethin’ stupid or dangerous.” His voice is low and thick with sleep as he wraps his arms back around you. “If you need somethin’ I’ll get it for you.” He hasn’t shaved in a few weeks, his coarse facial hair rubs against your shoulder as he murmurs. 

Who knew big, scary Joel Miller could be so clingy. 

The most surprising part of your relationship, if you could even call it that, with Joel is just how needy he is. You don’t have any problems with it, it’s just a bit of a shock. Although maybe needy isn’t the right word. 

Protective. 

You’ve left the apartment two times in total since moving in with Joel, both times you insisted on needing air much to his dismay. He accompanied you around the block without a word the first time. The second time was the same, the only difference was that you stopped to buy a small bag of buttons, Joel had frowned as you made small talk with the older man sitting behind the table before rushing you home. 

“You could have just told me you needed buttons.” He grumbles as he holds the door open for you as you make your way to the kitchen table, taking a seat as you take his flannel off of you, the sight of your tattered sports bra serves as a reminder of how badly you need to get back to work once you’re cleared. 

“I don’t need buttons, you do. Every shirt you own is missing at least one.” You laid the shirt down on the table, pointing to the drawer next to the sink. “Get me the sewing kit.” His frown deepens but he does as you say before sitting down across from you.

Reaching across the table he sets the box down beside you, crossing his arms in front of his chest. “Still, you should have just asked me.” 

You open the small tin, unspooling a bit of thread. “I needed to go outside for a few minutes, it’s stuffy in here.” 

“We could have opened a window.” He grumbles under his breath as you grin, holding the thread between your teeth while sliding the other end through the needle.

“It’s not the same and you know it.” You mumble through your teeth before releasing the thread and setting the needle down. You pour the buttons out onto the table, searching for one that best matches the beige of the buttons on the flannel. Eventually his hand encompasses your own as he guides you to one that’s a slightly different shape but matches the color perfectly. “Thank you.” You give him a teasing smile as you place it over the frayed threads where its predecessor once was. 

That was a week ago and you haven’t been outside since but when Joel went to get the mail from downstairs he brought you a notice from the doctor that you were cleared to return to work today. Despite his protests you start to push the blanket off of you but he’s quick to pull it right back up into place.

“Stay, please.” He continues to hum against your skin. 

“I need the money, Joel.” You turn to look at him, his usual morning sulky look seems doubled today.

“How much do you need?” He raises an eyebrow at you as he lets his face fall forward, his forehead resting on yours. 

“It’s not like that.” You swear, if you asked him to, he'd find a way to give you the moon and stars, but you hate relying on him for everything, especially after such a long time of being dependent on him. “I just need to work.”

“You don’t need to. You want to.” His breath still smells like whiskey from last night as he gives you an exasperated glare. 

“Fine, I want to work. My leg’s fine now, you can barely tell anything was wrong with it. I’ll be okay.” You lean just a bit more towards him, kissing his cheek before sliding out of bed. 

You aren’t exactly dating Joel. 

Dating seems so trivial during an apocalypse, and you haven’t had any conversations about it. It just sort of happened. You woke up one day and neither one of you wanted to pull away from the other, and it progressed from there. He came home from a job one night and climbed into bed next to you, wrapping himself around you and he kissed your forehead before falling asleep. You still don’t know if he knew you were awake. The next night you’d taken his face in your hands and kissed him, just to see what he’d do, thankfully after a moment of shock he’d kissed you back. And it just became another unspoken part of your life with Joel. He kissed you goodbye when he left to go do the things he refused to tell you about in any detail, and you always greeted him with a kiss when he returned. 

But you don’t have sex. 

You want to ask him why but you hold your tongue, it’s possible you’re just being impatient or maybe he just wants to wait. So you don’t push it or bring it up because you like how things are with him. 

The word boyfriend is not a word that suits Joel. 

He isn’t your boyfriend, he’s just sort of, yours. 

“Angel, please.” He continues his griping as he pinches the bridge of his nose. 

“Joel, please.” You repeat back at him, trying to mimic his low tone.  

“I’m bein’ serious. Things have gotten bad out there recently, too much FEDRA bullshit.” 

“It’s always been bad and I’ve always managed, I’ll be fine.” You pull one of his shirts out of the closet, slipping it on, starting to button it as he makes his way to the end of the bed. 

“Can we at least talk about this?” He rests his elbows on his knees as he hunches over. The morning haze on his face is gone and is replaced by the stern scowl you’re used to. 

“There isn’t anything to talk about. I’ll be careful, there’s nothing to worry about, I’ll see you tonight.” After digging through the dresser drawers you eventually find your only pair of jeans. Once your boots are laced you walk back over to him, standing between his legs and taking his face in your hands. 

Staring down into his surprisingly gentle eyes, so dark that in the dim morning light they look pitch black. 

God he’s pretty. 

Even with that stupid pout of his. 

“I’ll see you tonight.” You lean down, placing a kiss on his forehead before pulling away only to be stopped when his grip on your waist tightens. 

“Just- wait.” You’re about to push him away with a laugh but his voice cracks just enough to make your smile drop. 

You start to speak in a soft tone but you only get one word out. “Joel…” 

“Please- I just- I can’t let you go out there and sign up for that shit. There’s jobs that aren’t dangerous, simple stuff.”

“Those jobs pay a few cards at best, hon. I can’t wear your clothes forever, I need new underwear, socks, all sorts of things. And I want to contribute around here, I’ll be okay, I promise.” You push the mess of hair falling across his forehead back as you stare down at him. 

He looks so genuinely upset already and you haven’t even left yet, he’s making this far more difficult than you thought it’d be. “I won’t be able to do anything if I don’t know you’re safe. It’s dangerous for both of us, I can’t be distracted like that.” You sigh, long and loud as you drop your hands to your sides. 

The more you think about it the more it makes sense. He really does worry too much, and even if you don’t know exactly what he does for work, you know it’s dangerous. 

Maybe it won’t be so bad. 

“Okay.” You groan. 

“You’ll stay?” The corners of his mouth start to raise a bit. 

“I’ll do the safer jobs.” The hint of a smile that had been on his face dissipates. “It’s a compromise. You can’t always get everything you want.” 

“Fine, come right home after.”

“I will.” With one more kiss he finally lets you go. 

So, at Joel’s request, you sign up for the easy jobs. 

They’re boring, and generally sort of terrible, and they pay the least, but Joel doesn’t make any further arguments about it. So you keep signing up for them. Typically it’s childcare, or filing documents for FEDRA, or working in the entry level food processing jobs. 

Boring, boring, jobs that involve standing around and doing nothing or wrangling kids who don’t deserve to grow up in a place like this. You hate the look on their little faces, they always look too grown up for their ages. 

But you put up with it, because at the end of the day you get to go home to Joel, Joel who seems to be in significantly higher spirits ever since you’ve agreed to those specific jobs. So you make it work. He makes it worth the banality of it all, at the end of your first week back to work he surprised you with a large paper bag, grinning like you’d never seen him before. When you unfolded the crumpled bag you were greeted with a mess of fabric, different colors and textures. You poured the contents onto the bed and immediately realized what he’d gotten you. Bras, panties, socks, and two pairs of jeans. It must’ve cost him a fortune and your eyes began to water immediately. You had wrapped your arms around him, barely letting go of him for the rest of the night. 

After that it got even easier, eventually you got used to it. 

You learned to live with the terrible jobs, and if you wanted anything you couldn’t afford with your meager savings Joel always managed to get it for you, even if you hadn’t told him you’d wanted it in the first place. 

You probably would have stayed like that forever if you hadn’t started taking the long way home. Weeks had passed before it happened, you had grown comfortable, vulnerable. Joel always made sure you felt safe and you let your guard down just long enough for something to happen. 

Joel had left early that morning, telling you that he was gonna be late, before he kissed you, he was out the door before the sun came up. 

Whenever Joel told you he would be late you took the long way home. Winding back alleys that were mostly empty that always led back to the apartment building. It was just a treat for yourself, something to do to fill time that would be spent at home, waiting for him. 

You never had any issues or alterations. 

Until that afternoon. 

Joel will be late. 

So the second your shift is over you take the handful of cards and make your way through the city. And just like you’ve done every other time, you look behind you every once and a while but not nearly as much as you should. Because of this, you don’t see him until it’s too late. 

It’s a younger man, probably a year or two older than you at most peering around the last corner you turned. Once he knows he’s been seen his pace quickens and instinctively you do the same. 

“On the ground!” The second you hear it you pray it’s for someone else, it has to be, you’ve done nothing wrong. You walk faster, hoping to avoid what could be a messy confrontation when the sound of boots slamming on the pavement rushes towards you and you’re forced up against the wall of the alley. 

In your peripheral you catch the white text against the black of his uniform. 

FEDRA. 

Your knees are kicked from under you as he pins your arms behind your back, the force at which your head hits the stone has you dizzy as you try to catch your breath. Too much is happening too quickly, when you finally feel like you can use your voice the wind is knocked out of you as you feel him hit you in the side, hard enough to have you wondering if he broke a rib. The force of the hit makes your knees crumble completely as the officer lets you fall, only giving you enough time to get to your hands and knees before his boot slams into your stomach knocking you onto your side. 

Finally, when you roll over onto your back you get a clear look at him. He looks like your average FEDRA officer, the only thing out of place is the unsure look on his face. Your ears are ringing so you barely make out what he says, all you catch is something about thinking you were someone else, before he turns and leaves as if it never happened.

Leaving you alone to clutch your stomach and wonder what just happened, and what you did to deserve that. 

You’d never heard of random attacks from FEDRA before. Maybe in other zones, but the city has always been calm as far as that goes. Maybe things really did get worse while your leg was healing. 

Joel was right. 

That’s all you can think about as you stumble to get to your feet, everything hurts but now is not the time to assess your wounds, you need to get home before something else happens. You manage to hobble up the stairs of the building, nearly collapsing by the time you opened the door. 

You feel so stupid. 

Joel was right. 

It isn’t safe out there, at least not for you. No one fucks with Joel, no one attacks him on the street because they’re afraid of him. No ones afraid of you. 

It’s a long couple of hours after that. 

Mostly a lot of berating yourself as you try to take in the extent of the damage. 

Surprisingly it seems to mostly be surface level. Sure, you’re going to bruise pretty bad and your face got scraped up on the stones but nothing permanent seems to have been inflicted. 

Once you’ve showered and slipped into an old shirt of his and a pair of panties you climb into bed, wanting this day to just be over, but you know it isn’t. Right on schedule you hear the lock click as Joel steps through the front door, you hide your face in your pillow. 

“What are you still doin’ up? It’s almost midnight.” His voice is a low whisper as you hear the familiar sounds of him kicking off his boots and setting down his things. You hear the outer layer of his clothing hit the floor, you told him a while ago you thought it was gross that he slept in the clothes he wore all day. He started sleeping in his undershirt and boxers after that. “You okay, Darlin’?” The bed shifts as he sits beside you and the second you turn and look at him his jaw twitches. “Christ… what the hell happened? Who did this to you?” He’s managing to stay mostly calm but you’re already worried he’s going to blow. 

“It’s nothing, I just had an issue with an officer on my way-“

“This is not nothing.” He’s already fussing with your face as you take his hands and move them away from you. 

“Joel-“

“Tell me what happened.” It’s a command and you’re too tired to fabricate something, and for the first time in a while, you’re afraid. 

So you tell him exactly how it happened. And before you realize it’s happening you’re sniffling, a part of you feels like you’re about to be scolded for this but he only nods, never interrupting you until you’ve finished. 

Your vision’s blurry with tears when you look up at him, the weight of being attacked starts to weigh heavy as you realize just how lucky you were that that was all that happened. And then you say the words he’s been waiting to hear.

“You were right, Joel.” 

“I’m sorry, angel. I should have been there to protect you.” He holds his arms open and you don’t hesitate as you lean forward into him. You do your best to hold it together as he lays you down before clicking off the lamp and pulling you back against him. He softly scratches your back, kissing the top of your head as he does. It’s silent for a few more minutes until he suddenly whispers into the darkness. “Tell me you’ll stay here from now on.”

“Joel, I-“

“No more going out there without me. You’ll stay safe right here, no one can hurt you here, not while I’m around.” You open your mouth to argue again but stop yourself. 

He’s right. 

Now that you’ve calmed down you know that you’re lucky to even be alive. You don’t know why you were attacked but you know it could happen again, and there are worse things than being beaten. 

No one would hurt you here, not with Joel around. 

“Stay here, angel.” He murmurs, softer this time. 

Joel is right.

“Okay.”

He isn’t beside you when you wake up, your hands searching through the cold sheets seeking his warmth. He had mentioned something as you were falling asleep about an early morning supply run but you had hoped to say goodbye before he left, you wanted to make him breakfast. As you get ready to roll back over and sleep a bit more you’re startled into an upright position. 

“You should watch where you’re flying, angel.” You bite back a shriek as Tess’s voice comes from the direction of the kitchen. 

“Christ, you scared the hell out of me!” Your heart skips a beat as you reach over to the nightstand, pulling on the little chain that turns the lamp on. “Joel’s not even here, what are you doing?” You don’t like the idea of being alone with her, she doesn’t come around much anymore, you used to see her in the hall on her way here constantly, but after you moved in she stopped. 

You do your best not to flinch as she makes her way over to you, standing at the foot of the bed.

“I’m not here to hurt you, there’s no need for theatrics.” You hadn’t realized you were shaking so badly until she said it, it takes a conscious effort but you manage to stop it for the most part. “I’m just here to talk.”

“About what?” 

“About you and Joel.”

You don’t want to talk about that with Tess. You don’t want to talk to Tess at all, she frightens you and she knows it. 

“There’s nothing to talk about.”

“Don’t talk to me like I’m stupid.” This time when you flinch she hesitates. For a brief moment the facade of a woman who fears nothing drops, and you swear you see sympathy in her eyes. “Joel is dangerous, you need to be careful with him or you’re going to get hurt.”

Is that why she’s here? To try and break you up? 

“He won’t hurt me, he cares about me.” You wish you sounded more sure of yourself. 

“You’re right, at least for now.” She flips her pocket knife open, ever so carefully running the blade along the underside of her nails, scraping away any dirt or grime she so happens to find, you fight the urge to flinch again. When she finally looks back up at you she takes a moment, examining your expression as if this was an interrogation. “Being loved by him is the worst thing that could possibly happen to a girl like you.”

You can’t help but scoff, now look who’s being theatrical. “A girl like me?”

“Good, too good. And fragile.” She points at you with the blade before returning to her nails. “He’ll do anything to keep you safe, even if it means breaking you into tiny little pieces, just so you’ll fit in a box he can lock.” 

You’re about to call her a liar but you hesitate. “Why are you telling me this?”

“You deserve to know.”

“Okay, but why? You don’t even like me.”

“You wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like you.” 

Fair enough.

“I think you should go.” You don’t want to hear anything else. You don’t believe anything she’s saying and the entire conversation makes you feel sick. She doesn’t know anything about your relationship with him, and she clearly doesn’t know anything about Joel. He’d do anything for you, you don’t think you’ve ever been taken care of before you met him.  

“What do you know about glue traps?” She doesn’t make any effort to leave so you decide to just answer her with a sigh. 

“Like the ones you use to catch mice? I don’t know, Joel buys them sometimes.”

She points her knife in the direction of the corner of the room, it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust. Sure enough, in the corner of the room, peeking out from under his dresser, is the faint outline of something on the floor, you’d never noticed it before. 

“It’s the worst kind of way to catch a mouse.” She stands, walking across the room and peeling up the trap with the edge of her blade before snapping it shut and taking the edge of the trap between her fingers, dragging it across the floor to the middle of the room so you had a clear view of it. “They’ll do anything to get out.” The tip of her boot nudges the corner of the trap, now that it’s been dragged into the lamp light you can see exactly what she wanted to show you. Two things are in the bloody trap. A mouse, barely alive, based on the way its chest rises and falls, and something else. A caterpillar maybe? 

No. 

A leg. A bloody mouse leg, on the edge of the trap. 

“They’ll chew off their limbs, and peel off their own skin just to get out, the ones that manage to are lucky enough to bleed out somewhere else. The ones stuck in the trap though?” She nods down at the creature you now refuse to look at. “They’ve got it the worst. Suffocation, dehydration, the ones who try to peel off and can’t, bleed out, stuck in place.”   

With a sudden crunch, her boot slams down on the trap. You watch, slack jawed, as she peels it off the sole before tossing it in the bin in the corner. 

“I’d take a quick death over either of those.”

“I think you should leave. Now.” You try to sound authoritative but your voice trembles too much to sound anything but afraid. 

“I heard you got caught up in some FEDRA business yesterday.” She starts again but you’ve had enough.

“Tess.” You manage to have a bit of sterness this time in your tone but it doesn’t seem to affect her much. 

“Fine. I’ll leave. But don’t say I didn’t warn you.” You catch that sympathetic look one more time before she unlocks the door chain, twisting the doorknob before speaking one last time. “I noticed some of our inventory is missing, this is the only warning you’re gonna get about that. If you want shit like that just ask, I’m sure Joel would be more than happy to have another way to control you.” She doesn’t turn around when she says it, simply slamming the door and leaving. You have no clue what she’s talking about, but that isn’t the part of the conversation that sticks with you. All you can think about is that crunching sound. 

So you avoided her after that, writing off her words as an act of jealousy. 

Joel would never do anything to hurt you.

Of course you know better now. She was just like you, she had been in the glue trap herself when she tried to keep you from joining her, but you hadn’t listened, instead you’d fallen face first into Joel. And he wouldn't let you go without keeping some of you for himself.

i don't have a taglist anymore !! follow @lincolndjarinnotifs for updates on all fics !!

[marvelfanfn2187a113]

What do you think a relationship between Mary and Sister Winchester would really be like?

In the event that Sister Winchester is clearly not Mary's daughter

John had an affair with a normal woman and although we know that he never forgot Mary, he really came to care about the Winchester sister's mother, until she died or left. How would Mary take finding out that John was with someone else? Or I think the question is whether I could come to terms with it even though Sister Winchester is a constant reminder that John was with someone else.

How would Dean and Sam tell this to Mary?

Dean and Sam try not to talk about Sister Winchester's mother in front of Mary or talk about her as if she was nobody in John's life (never in a cruel way) so as not to hurt Mary's feelings, in the same way that Sam and Dean tried not to talk in front of Mary about what a bad father John was and that bothers Sister Winchester because she's like "she's my mom, if you don't want her Mary knows about her, that's fine, but don't talk about her as if she were nobody."

And which brings me to my last question.

If somehow Sister Winchester's mother were alive, do you think Sister Winchester would spend more time with her mother than with the boys when Mary returns?

What would the relationship between Mary and Sister Winchester's mother be like?

How would Dean and Sam take it if the Winchester sister wanted to go live with her mother after Mary returns (and before she leaves) so as not to make things awkward?

I think the boys would be a little heartbroken when their sister tells them "I want to stay with mom."

(I’m gonna write this like a reader insert so that I don’t have to keep writing sister Winchester 😅)

Ok, so first I don’t really think John could get super close to another woman, he was too obsessed with Mary, but for the sake of argument let’s say he did.

I don’t think she would still be around—if you could’ve had a safe life, John/Dean wouldn’t let you live with them, they’d want you to stay with your mother. Unless of course your mother didn’t want you, and left you with John.

This is how I think it would go down—you got kidnapped with Sam, so Mary doesn’t meet you right away. Dean, ever the avoidant one, doesn’t tell Mary about his little sister, so her meeting you is quite a shock. When Dean and Mary bust in to save Sam, she sees you tied up right next to him. After an awkward yet excited greeting with Sam, Mary starts to wonder about you.

“I wonder how many other hunters they have stuck in here,” she says. “I mean, this is just a kid! What could they want from her?”

“They don’t have anyone else,” Sam says. “They wanted information on other hunters.”

“Well, then how did they get her?” Mary asks.

“She…she was in the bunker with me,” Sam says. You haven’t said anything—you know who this is, you’ve seen her in pictures, and you’re too shy and shocked to say anything.

“Mom,” Dean cuts in. “She’s our sister.”

The ride back to the bunker is super awkward. Once they get there, Dean tells you to go back to your room for a bit so he can talk to Mary.

Dean explains about your mother, but he makes it sound like she wasn’t anyone important. He’s trying to dampen the blow for Mary, but in doing so he makes your mom seem like a nobody. Little does he know that you didn’t actually go to your room.

“Hey!” You speak up for the first time since Mary showed up. “You don’t have to talk about her like that, Dean. If you don’t want Mary to know about her that’s fine, but don’t talk about her like she was nobody!”

“Hey,” Sam would interrupt, trying to sooth you. “Let’s take a look at you in the bathroom, ok? I know they hurt you, we should clean up some of those injuries.”

You’d let Sam take you away now that you’d said what you wanted to.

“I’m sorry,” you said to Sam while he fixed up your wounds. “I’m not trying to mess anything up with your mom, I’m glad you got her back, I just…Dean was talking about my mom like she didn’t matter.”

“It’s ok,” Sam said. “I know you didn’t want to ruin anything. And I know it must’ve hurt hearing Dean talk like that. Dean…he’s always been in a bit of denial about your mom. You know, dad was always so obsessed with getting revenge for mom, that Dean thinks that that means he couldn’t care about anyone else. But he did, he did care about your mom kiddo.”

Mary would stay away from you for the most part. She doesn’t like you, and deep down everyone knows it. I mean, she came from the past, so as far as she remembers, she was married to John like yesterday. So the idea that she died and he moved on and got with someone else, and right in front of her is John’s child with some other woman?—that has to hurt. (I’m playing devil’s advocate here but in reality I really don’t like Mary).

I think Mary would probably belittle your ideas, like—

“Well she’s a child. She doesn’t understand how this works.”

And Sam would very gently remind her, “Mom, she’s been hunting for a while.”

“Not nearly as long as I have.”

Because of this, you’d speak up less and less before hunts. In fact, you talk less in the bunker in general, because whenever you do Mary gives you this side eye, like she’d forgotten you were still there.

It doesn’t become too much of a problem at first, because pretty soon Mary leaves to “get some space” (one of the main reasons I hate her) and “adjust” or whatever. As soon as she’s gone, the boys notice the difference in you. Your more confident in the bunker, and you talk a lot more. You always shut up, though, whenever Mary comes to visit.

You never talk about this with the brothers, because you’d never try to hurt their relationship with Mary.

So back to your mom—let’s say she’s alive, but she left you with John. You never wanted to find her before, because she left you with John because she didn’t want to put herself or her family (she has a lot of siblings and friends that she’s super close to) in danger. John told you all about it so that you would know that it wasn’t about you—your mom wanted you, but it was too complicated with the possibility that demons knew about you. You wanted to leave her be, but with Mary around you got desperate. You finally tell the boys—

“I want to go find my mom.”

They’re heartbroken that you want to leave, but they won’t make you stay. They know why you’re leaving, after all, and they can’t do anything about it—Mary’s their mom, and you’re their little sister, and they can’t pick between you.

So you go after your mom and find her—she’s happy to see you and know you’re ok, and she lets you stay with her, but after a while you start to feel unwelcome there, too. You know you’re probably putting her in danger, but you just don’t know what to do.

Just when you’re at the end of your rope, the brothers come and find you. They ask you to come back.

“Mary isn’t around much anymore,” Dean says, and you notice he sounds bitter. “She…she was working with the British Men of Letters.”

This comes as a shock to you, but you can’t deny that it feels great to come back to the bunker with just your big brothers. Of course they kind of-ish reconcile with Mary after a while, but since she betrayed them like that they stand up for you now—after all, you’ve never betrayed them like that. So the first time Mary tries to shut you down, Dean snaps at her—

“She has more right to be at this table than you, so let her speak.”

And Mary doesn’t do it again.

When John comes back, you don’t know what to do. This day is about the Winchesters, and as much as you wanted to see your dad again, you didn’t want to wreck anything. Your hiding out in your room for a while when John notices.

“Where’d your little sister go?”

“I think she’s in her room,” Sam says, and tells John where it is.

John’s the one who goes to find you. You’re expecting Sam or Dean when you hear a knock, so when John comes in you’re surprised.

“Hey baby.” John smiles at you. “What are you doing in here?”

“I-I didn’t want to mess up your family day,” you say.

“You’re my family, too,” John says, coming over and sitting on your bed. “I…I know things are probably a little strange with Mary back, but…but I want to see you, too. You’re my baby girl, always. Ok?”

You hug John, and he laughs.

“Ok.”

[fanfic-writer-and-rambler]

You should never kidnap this man’s daughter.

Ski mask (on the phone): Listen very carefully.

Jason Todd: Nope.

He ends the call quickly.

Ski mask: Hello? Hello? They hung up on me!

Kidnapper 2: Call him back.

Ski Mask (dialing the number): I hate when they do that.

Jason: Hello?

Ski Mask (serious): Don't hang up this is important.

Jason: Bruce, I told you I unblocked your number.

Ski Mask: Bruce?

Jason: This isn't my father?

Ski Mask: No! Is that why you ended the call, because you thought I was your dad? Kind of cold.

Jason (exhausted): It's a long story, okay if you're not my father who is this? If it's the Mormon church I will scream.

Ski Mask (on the phone): No! We have your daughter!

Jason: I don’t have daughter.

Ski Mask: What?

Jason: I can guarantee you I do not have a daughter or kids in general. Minus my little brother, that's about it.

Ski mask: Son of a bitch! Hey, Chung Li, this isn’t her father!

Chung li (kidnapper 2): She said that was her other dad.

Jason: Chung li?

Ski mask: He’s into the game… Okay well the kid said you are her other dad, we’ve kidnapped her.

Jason: Name.

Ski Mask: Scuse me?

Jason: The kid you took, what is her name?

Ski Mask: Um... We're not telling you.

Jason: If this is the Jehovah witnesses tricking me into attending their church, I swear to every God I will find you-

Chung Li (in the background): Lian! She said her name was Lian.

Ski Mask: You heard that, it's Lian.

Jason (alarmed): Lian?

Ski Mask: That's right, know her now?

Jason looks over at Roy Harper who is listening to music while cleaning his arrows.

Jason presses a button on his phone and is able to trace the call.

Jason: Does she have black hair in two pigtails, mixed race, big smile?

Ski mask: Yes and we want a ransom of-

Jason: Oh, okay. I know her. I’m more her uncle, but I like messing with her dad, we’re in a heterosexual relationship and all that.

Ski mask: What?

Jason: Nothing you need to think hard about. Hey, man I’ll call you back in five minutes to discuss details about the ransom. Have to compose myself real quick.

Ski mask: Call me back?

Jason: Okay thanks, pal.

Jason ends the call, pinging the location and walks to Roy. He removes his earbud.

Jason: Some people have kidnapped Lian. I already tracked their location, here’s the phone.

Roy runs out the house with the phone.

Jason: Yup, I'll drive.

30 minutes later

Ski mask: I can’t believe he hung up. He said he'd call back in five minutes to discuss the ransom.

Chung Li: Why can't people keep their promises, dude.

Ski Mask: Right? What are we going to do with her while we wait?

Lian: Can one of you help me with my homework?

Chung li: What are you working on?

Lian: Times tables!

Chung li: I’ve always sucked at math, Ski mask, can you help her?

Ski mask: We’re not supposed to be helping her with anything-

An arrow shoots through a window aiming right at Ski Mask’s shoulder. He falls back shocked and in pain.

Lian claps happily.

Lian: Yay, daddy’s here!

Ski mask: Wait, your dad shoots arrows?

A bullet shoots through the door hitting Chung Li in the leg.

Lian: Yeah, they’re both here!

The door is kicked open cueing Lian to cover her eyes while giggling. Her dad always told her to do if a situation like this happened. That was the best answer as her father and Jason beat the kidnappers were barely alive.

Roy unlocks the cage and pulls Lian out, covering her eyes.

Roy: You okay, sweetie?

Lian: Yeah, a little sleep though.

Roy: Aww, that's okay. Let's get you home and tucked in.

Jason: Oh yeah I'll handle these guys. You two fucked up messing with his kid.

The crooks don't respond.

Jason: Glad you agree.

[dbnightingale24]

React

A Stepcest Love Story About Jim

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Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3

I think my internet has finally stopped hating me, but I can't be too sure. We'll see what happens.

Word Count: 5,531

Warning(s): SMUT (MINORS DNI), Swearing, Stepcest, Infidelity, Step-Daughter/Step-Father relations, Family Drama, Forbidden Love, Lying, Sneaking Around, Emotional Cheating, Drinking, Self Loathing, FLUFF, Crying...I think that's it?

Summary: You and Jim have discovered that you don't want to stop, and don't even want to entertain the idea of it.

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I do not give permission/consent for my stories/works to get posted elsewhere. I do not condone this type of behavior/relationship, this is for entertainment purposes only.

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Chapter 4

You and Jim are horrible people, there’s no other way to put it. Jim woke you up the next day with his head between your legs, and you didn’t even attempt to stop him. Nor did you stop him when he told you get on top of him and get yourself off on him. The first two hours of the day were spent getting lost in one another and, for a moment, you forgot why it was wrong.

Then, you heard your Mother the second you opened the basement door.

“Well, why did ya sleep on the sofa, Jim?!” she snapped.

“My kids are still asleep, Y/M/N,” he huffed as he ran a frustrated hand through his hair. “You were a mess yesterday and-”

“I wasn’t that bad.”

“I had to carry you up the stairs in the middle of the movie.”

“Listen, I’m sorry, okay? I got nervous and they seemed to take more to-”

“That’s been your reason for every time your shit faced now, and it’s always Y/N’s fault.”

“I don’t say that it is-”

“Yes you do, and she’s only here because you asked her to come! Jesus, where’s the woman I met? The woman I fell in love with?!” he snipped and your heart broke.

You wished you’d never come back.

“And you? What do you think?” your Mother asked once she spotted you trying to creep out of the kitchen.

“Please, leave me out-”

“What do you think?” she snapped.

You let out a heavy sigh, because you knew how the rest of the day was going to go.

“I think I should’ve never come back,” you sighed as you leaned against the entry way. “I feel like you do better when we don’t see each other, and I’m not even mad about that. That’s how things have always been between us, and I don’t know why I expected it to change. Since I’ve been home, you’ve been drinking non-stop and an emotional wreck. You asked me to come back and I feel like it’s something I shouldn’t have done. I messed up your progress,” you finished softly as you toyed with your fingers, avoiding her hurt and irritated gaze.

As far as she was concerned, you and Jim were ganging up on her. Hell, if you hadn’t spent the previous night and that morning fucking her husband, you would’ve been able to feel like you weren’t ganging up on her. However, the guilt was eating you alive instantly, and it only got worse when she grabbed a bottle of whiskey off of the top of the fridge. 

It wasn’t even 10am and she’d snapped.

She was drunk off of her ass by 12pm, which meant that it was up to you to save the day for your...step-siblings. 

The day wasn’t even hard because you didn’t like them, it was hard because of what you’d done. With their Father. It didn’t help that they really had seemed to take a liking to you, and they wanted to do everything with you. Especially after your Mother passed out at 1:30pm.

“You alright, Angel?” Jim asked softly once he’d closed the door behind him to your bedroom.

The room that was right next to your Mother’s.

“It’s fine. They go back tomorrow and I’ll go to Ciara’s-”

“I want you here-”

“We already had this talk. Once was enough, Jim.”

“Angel-”

“It’s wrong! You’re married to her! Even if you get a divorce, she’s still my Mother! We can’t just...no, this can’t happen again.”

“I’ve been thinkin’ about ya all day, Angel,” he confessed softly as he made his way closer to your bed.

“You’ve been thinkin’ about fuckin’ me.”

“No, I’ve been thinkin’ about you,” he confirmed softly. “Your smile, the way you laugh, the sound of your laugh, how caring and sincere you are, how thoughtful-”

“Jim-”

“I’ve been thinking about you,” he promised as his right hand cupped the side of your face. “Have you been thinking about me?”

“Jim-”

“Have you?” he asked sincerely as he focused your gaze on him.

It slipped out before you even had a chance to stop yourself.

“Yes.”

You honestly hadn’t meant to get so caught up in the kiss, and you hadn’t meant to give him a blowjob. However, both of those things happened, which led to him fucking senseless in your bed.

Which is, once again, right next to your Mother’s bedroom. The bedroom that she shares with your Stepfather.

You couldn’t get out of that house fast enough the following day. However, when you got to Ciara’s, she wasn’t proving to be much help either. 

“I’m sorry, you two did what?! How many times?!” she squealed before she took a sip of wine.

“We only did that position once, but we had sex.. a few times,” you mumbled, very clearly ashamed of yourself. “What the fuck is wrong with me?”

“You’re in love,” she shrugged as if it was the most simple thing in the world.

“I’m in love with my Stepfather. He’s married to my Mother-”

“Your Mother is awful.”

“Be that as it may, she’s my Mother. She wanted to start a new chapter with Jim, and her new found sense of-”

“She did this, love. She created this fake version of herself, then let it all come crumbling down when you came home. She invited you back, then had a meltdown on the both of you. Is this right? Of course not. However, do I understand it? Of course. I know you feel terrible, and I would too, but lets not pretend you meant for any of this to happen. Hell, you didn’t even know she’d gotten married. Yes, it’s wrong, but you both did your best to fight this and seemed like the harder you two fought against it, the more she went out of her way to be problematic,” she sighed as your phone went off again. “What’s goin’ on there?”

“Jim and my Mother have been messaging me all day,” you muttered with an eye roll. “She wants me to come back because she feels awful and is tired of driving me away. He wants me to come back because he misses me and wants to fall asleep next to me. I’m staying far the fuck away from both of them.” 

“You’ll be goin’ back soon enough, and that should help,” she smiled mournfully.

Honestly? It should’ve. It should’ve been enough to keep you focused and your thoughts away from all of the other bullshit. It’s your final year, and you have so many things to figure out. You need to decide on a job, figuring out living arrangements, where you’re going to live, and a million other things. However, Jim was persistent. If he wasn’t calling and texting, he was sending you flowers with the cutest notes attached. 

By day four, you’d crumbled and told him to come to Ciara’s. 

He took you out to dinner at a cute little restaurant outside of town, and spent the entire time picking your brain. He wanted to know if you were excited or nervous about graduating (you told him that it’s an evil mixture of both), he wanted to know if there’s anything in particular you’re excited about getting back to (you told him about the cute dog adoption center that’s not too far from campus that you visit when you’re feeling too overwhelmed), and he wanted to know your favorite things (that had you rambling longer than you meant to).

Yes, the whole thing was sweet, but you rightfully had your reservations.

“Jim, how do you know this is real? No to be a total fucking cunt, but this will be your second failed marriage. What makes you so sure this will work?” you asked softly before you took a sip of your drink.

“This isn’t like what Yvonne and I did. I was in a good marriage and I fucked it up. I fucked it up for selfish reasons and looked for everyone to blame but myself. This...I honestly never knew this side to your Mum. If I had, I wouldn’t have married her in the first place. Yvonne and I...it started for all the wrong reasons. It started for selfish reasons on both of our parts, but this isn’t wrong or selfish, I promise.”

“Your wife made you unhappy-”

“Don’t. This isn’t something I started because I was havin’ a bad day. You just...you’re so beautiful, Angel. I don’t just mean on the outside. You step up when you shouldn’t have to, you’re thoughtful, you’re so damn funny, you’re witty, you’re patient, you’re painfully considerate...I could go on for hours. When everything started to fall apart, you stepped up and kept a level head. Between the two of us, you were the more mature and calm one. Hell, this whole thing started because I can’t control my feelings for you.”

“What about when I make you mad?” you asked timidly as you toyed with your fingers. 

“You’re not your Mum, Angel. We can talk things out and make it work. We can have an actual relationship that works.”

“Your kids-”

“They love you-”

“As their step-sister.”

“They’ll get used to it.”

“Jim-”

“Angel, I love you and I want this with you. I know I have a lot to prove, but I’m willing to try if you are. We’ll...test this out for a few months and you can decide-”

“A few months?! Jim, she’s my Mother-”

“I’m filing for a divorce, Angel. No matter what we do, I’m filing for a divorce. Things aren’t what they were and they never will be again,” he confessed with a scoff, but you could hear the pain in his voice.

He really thought he got it right with your Mother.

“We can’t...we have to take our time with this,” you told him softly as you tried to force yourself to come to terms with what you were saying.

What you were agreeing to.

“We can do whatever you want, Angel. Whatever you’re comfortable with.”

“We should wait until we have sex again.”

“If that’s what you want, that’s what we’ll do,” he promised with a nod as the waiter came over to ask if you both if you wanted anything else.

You folded like a lawn chair the second you and Jim were in front of Ciara’s house. You pulled him to the backseat of his car and had him until you were both spent. He ended up sleeping over Ciara’s that night, and he held you so close, as if he were afraid you’d run off in the night.

No, none of it had gone ideally. You and Jim spent every moment you could together, and he made it so easy to ignore the guilt. Every kiss, every touch, every date, every laugh...he made you forget how wrong all of it was. He made you forget that the both of you were committing the worst kind of betrayal.

Which is why you’re now pacing around your dorm room, waiting for his phone call. It doesn’t matter that you have an essay you need to start on, or that you have job applications to fill out, because you miss him and he makes you feel like a lovesick idiot. It also doesn’t help that he sent you a beautiful bouquet of pink peonies earlier in the day.

The second your phone goes off, you almost pounce to answer it.

“Baby?” you ask breathlessly, a smile coming to your lips.

A horrible way to answer the phone for the current situation you’re in, honestly. 

“It’s me, Angel,” he chuckles softly. “I miss you too.”

“In my defense I ‘aven’t been this excited to speak to someone...ever,” you giggle softly and he laughs. “How was your day?”

“A bit stressful, but it was good. I hate drivin’.”

“Why were you driving?”

“Had some things to take care of,” he sighs as someone knocks on your door. “Who’s that?”

“I’ve no clue. I didn’t make any plans with anyone,” you shrug as you make your way to the door and unlock it. “JIM!” you scream, throwing your phone to the side and jumping on him as your legs wrap around him, and he laughs softly. “Why are you here?! How?!” you giggle as you wrap your arms around his neck.

“Hi to you too, Angel,” he laughs, carrying you inside with a smile, before kicking the door shut behind him. “I missed you, and I wanted you to have a good few days before...”

“Before what?” you question with a cocked eyebrow.

“When I go back....I’m filing.”

“Jim...”

“I want this, Angel. I want us. I’m not gonna regret this and I hope you won’t either.”

“I just...Jim...”

“Do you still want this?”

“You know I do, but...you have to really commit. You’re leaving your wife for her daughter. Are you truly sure this is something you want? Are ya sure you want me?”

“Get dressed,” he smiles once he sets you down, “I’ve got somewhere to-”

He’s cut off by a knock on your door, “Y/N, are you in? It’s Mum,” your Mother proclaims from the other side of your door.

FUCK. Fuck, fuck, fuck!

“What are ya doin’ here? Give us a moment, I just got out of the shower!” you panic as both you and Jim try to find a place to hide him.

“Well, Jim is gonna be gone for a few days to go and see a friend, so I figured I should come and see you. We didn’t end on the best of terms.”

“Mum, I really don’t have any issue with you or Jim. It’s just better for you if-”

“I know I haven’t always been the best Mother, but I want to change that. With time, you and Jim will grow to like each other and get along. I know I don’t always act like it, but I want all of this to work. I want us to be a proper family,” she confesses, remorse painfully clear in her voice.

By the look in his eyes, you can tell that Jim wants to say something, but he can’t without giving himself away.

“I don’t hate Jim,” you prattle on as you push him into your bathroom and motion for him to lay down in the bathtub. 

You’re quick to run to the sink and wet your hair, while trying to swallow down all of the anxiety and guilt.

“I don’t hate either of you,” you continue as you look yourself over in the mirror, “I just felt that it would be better if I finished holiday with Ciara. Let you two work on things.”

Lie, lie, lie.

“I just feel like me being around only makes things worse for you, and I don’t want that,” you explain, making your way back over to the shower. “Silence your phone,” you whisper before closing the shower curtain.

Taking a deep breath, you open the door to your room, “I really wish you would’ve called.”

“I figured it would be fine since you didn’t get back too long ago. You don’t have too much work, do ya? We could grab a quick bite,” she smiles hopefully.

You truthfully don’t know what to do, because it’s not like the trip from Dublin to London is an easy one, but Jim also made the same trek and is currently hiding in your bathroom. Seeing as he is about to file for a divorce just to be with you, maybe you should go to dinner with her.

However, Jim did get here first.

“What are you doin’ tomorrow?” you ask, hopeful that she won’t be too hurt.

It’s not as if you’re saying no all together, just not right now.

“Leaving,” she laughs awkwardly. “I figured I’d head back early tomorrow. I’m hoping Jim will come back early and we can talk things out. We got into a bit of an argument before he left, and I’m afraid I’ve really made a mess of things,” she admits shyly.

Fuck.

“Let me grab my things and we’ll go,” you smile solemnly.

Quickly grabbing your phone, you text Jim a quick ‘I’m sorry’, before grabbing your purse and key to your dorm.

“Is there any place in particular that you wanna go to?” you ask, locking the door to your bedroom.

“I figured we’d go somewhere you love. My treat,” she smiles and it only makes you feel worse. 

“We can go to Chez Jules, and don’t worry about me, I can pay for-”

“I’m surprisin’ ya, I should at least pay for dinner. Besides, I put you through a tough Summer-”

“It’s alright-”

“Just let me be a proper Mum for once. Please?”

You hate yourself. You hate yourself to your core. Yes, you and her have always had a turbulent relationship, but never in a million years did you see this scenario playing out as it is. Hell, you honestly didn’t think you two would be in each other’s lives at this point. You and Jim falling in love isn’t even a result of you being angry with her, it just happened. Hell, you fought it so hard because you do actually love your Mother.

Now, it’s just a big mess. You don’t want to hurt her, but you can’t pretend your feelings for Jim aren’t real. You honestly wish you never came home for the Summer.

“How does it feel to be back?” your Mother asks once you’re both seated.

“It’s weird,” you laugh awkwardly, “I can’t believe this is my final year.”

“I’m so proud. Ya did what I couldn’t.”

“You can always go back whenever you want. You know that.”

“It was never for me. I don’t think an of this was ever for me,” she laughs softly.

You don’t even catch yourself as you mumble, “don’t I know it,” slips out.

“ ‘m sorry, Y/N. I really am.”

“I didn’t mean-”

“You’re hurt and you’re angry. You have every right to be. This past Summer...I don’t know why I reacted like I did. I don’t know why I always react the way I do to you. I do love you, I just don’t know how to be a Mother. I never have and I never wanted to be one. I just...I really thought it was a role I could grow in to. I’d like to think I’m better now, but we both know that I’m not and it doesn’t even matter now. You’re an adult all on your own and your own person.”

“Can we not do this in public? I’m too sober for an argument-”

“I don’t want to argue, I want to be honest. I’m trying to...I want to apologize. Ya didn’t know about Jim and for me to react the way I did...I just felt like he was taken with you more than I would’ve liked,” she sighs as the waitress comes over.

“Y/N, I already know your order,” she laughs before turning her attention to your Mother, “for you?”

“Gin,” she smiles.

“Do you need a moment for food?”

“Um, I’ll have the pork loin steak.”

“Mum!”

“Jesus, I can afford it, as can you,” she laughs. “What do ya want?”

“I don’t-”

“She’ll take the braised shoulder of lamb,” your Mother nods, grabbing your menu and handing it back to the waitress.

“Mum, we can’t-”

“It’s a girl’s night!”

“I have class in the morning,” you lie with a giggle. “I can’t be out too late.”

“I won’t keep ya too long,” she smiles. “I just felt like this would be good for us. I was afraid if I called, ya’d say no.”

“I just...time apart has always been best for us.”

“That’s not how it should be. Jim loves ya, his kids love ya, and I just...I got jealous. You getting to the house before me...I should’ve waited, because I knew you would’ve been hurt. It was a big decision and I didn’t even take you into consideration. I was just so in love with Jim and I felt like...I figured I could finally do it, ya know? Be a proper wife and Mother. Be someone everyone could finally be proud of. I didn’t tell Jim much about my past, because it’s not anything to be proud of, but I did tell him about you. I told him that you’re the only thing I’ve done that’s right. I knew you two would get along, but I still had my reservations. The way I had been with him was a side of me you’d never seen, and I was afraid you’d resent me for being better with him and his kids than I ever was with you.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me about him?” you ask, swirling your drink in the glass.

“I don’t know. We were in our own little bubble, and it was nice. I didn’t want to ruin it, and I know you’ve never been a fan of the men I’ve been with, which I can’t blame ya for. I was just scared. It got so bad so fast, and I know it’s on me. I’ve never actually committed to this part of myself and failed before I even gave myself a chance. I let you down, again, and I’m sorry.”

You say nothing as a new wave of guilt washes over you as your dinner is delivered. How could you fuck up this badly? How could you let yourself end up in a situation that will end so horribly?

“I know it was all in my head though,” she continues after the waitress walks away. “Jim barely knows you and you don’t see him like that. You don’t know him well enough to look at him in that light. It was just my own insecurities getting in the way, and I’ll do better. I’ll be better for the both of ya.”

“What did you and Jim argue about before he left?” you ask, doing your best to fight back your tears as you cut up your lamb,

“He’s rightfully angry with me. The drinking, the way I acted around his children, the way I treated you...he said he doesn’t know how to be with me anymore. I was drunk, we both raised our voices, I threw some things...it’s not lookin’ good,” she chuckles humorlessly as she wipes away a few tears. 

“What do you think-”

“He wants to leave me,” she interrupts with a shrug. “He didn’t come right out and say it, but he said it in so many words.”

“Is that what you want?”

“I don’t, but I can tell that he really is at his end. Even with sex-”

“Sex?” you eagerly cut off before you mean to.

You hate that you care so much. 

“Don’t worry, I’m not goin’ to give you too much information,” she laughs softly. “We barely ever have it, and I feel like I have to beg for it anyway. When we do, he never seems to be...in the moment. He always feels a million miles away, and it feels so empty. It was never like this before, and I know it’s on me. I made such a mess of everything this Summer.”

“Maybe you two just need some time apart,” you suggest, knowing damn well that, that won’t solve anything.

The man is waiting for you in your dorm room.

“He seemed pretty put off before he left. I tried to talk to him, but he just...he walked out. He doesn’t love me anymore, and I have no one to blame but myself.”

“Well, why do you do this shite? Huh? You finally had what you wanted-”

“I know, I know,” she sighs, throwing her fork down and drying her eyes with the backs of her hand. “It was goin’ too good. I got too nervous and I just...I let my fears win. I took it out on you, I took it out on him...I can’t fix it,” she sniffles, drying her eyes.

“I can talk to him for you,” you offer quietly.

You fucking idiot.

“My estranged daughter pleading my case for me? That’s even more pathetic,” she scoffs, before taking a sip of her drink then picking up her fork. “Anyway, tell me about school! Are you more excited to be back, or to be graduatin’ soon?”

For the rest of dinner, you try to keep up appearances, but your mind is going a million miles a minute. You know what you need to do, but you also know how much it’s going to hurt. You and Jim have spent so much time trying to build some form of a relationship, and you’re about to destroy it. 

To be fair, the relationship should’ve never happened in the first place.

“You’ll tell me when you’re home and safe?” you ask once you two are back at your dorm.

“Of course,” she smiles, wrapping you in a tight hug, “thank you for this. I really needed it.”

“Of course.”

“I’ll let you get back to your studies,” she laughs awkwardly as she lets go of you. “I love you.”

“I love you,” you smile with a nod before unlocking your door, “let me know when you’re at your hostel, yeah?”

“I promise.”

“Well...goodnight,” you nod once you’re in your room.”

“Night.”

You wait until you see her turn the corridor down the hall before finally closing the door, and letting out a heavy sigh. You know what comes next is gonna break both you and Jim’s heart.

“I know that sigh,” he comments as you close the door.

“Ya can’t leave her, Jim. Make it work.”

“Angel-”

“She’s so in love with you and she’s so sorry-”

“Stop it.”

“She’s my Mother! What do you want me to do-”

“Why do you keep trying to spare her feelings? She did this!”

“Jim, please-”

“I love you, Angel. I’m in love with you-”

“She’s your wife, Jim. She’s your wife and I’m her daughter. Your stepdaughter!”

“I didn’t even know you until I met you! This isn’t some relationship that we built up over years! I met you and we just-”

“Jim...please,” you sob.

He lets out a heavy as he wraps his arms around you, “please don’t cry.”

“I can’t do this anymore. I can’t be the reason you walk away-”

“She did this! She lied, she drank herself into a stupor, she lied-”

“You married her,” you sob softly, looking up to meet his heartbroken gaze. “I can’t hurt her like this, Jim. I can’t be the reason something else-”

“You’ve never taken anything from her!”

“Jim...”

“I love you! What’s the point of staying with her if my heart isn’t in it? What’s the point of faking it-”

“You two can find that happiness again-”

“I’ve found it with you, Angel,” he husks as he pins you against the wall.

“Jim...stop,” you moan as he kisses down your neck.

“No.”

“Jim-”

“Say it like you mean it. If you really want me to stop, I’ll stop,” he promises, unbuttoning your shorts and pushing them down along with your panties. 

“This...this is the last time,” you whimper as he starts teasing your clit.

“Sure it is, Angel,” he chuckles as he hoists you up and forces your legs around his waist. “Whatever you say.”

“Fuck...Jim!”

“I know, Angel. I need you too,” he groans as you undo his jeans, and force them down.

“I love you so much!”

“Do ya? Do ya want me?”

You know where he’s going with this, and you know it can’t go any farther.

“You know it’s wrong, Jim! We can’t keep on as we are!”

“Lets see how wrong we can be tonight, shall we?” he chuckles as he thrust himself inside of you, barely giving you a chance to breathe before he starts loving you hard and fast.

“Jim...don’t stop!’

“That’s a good girl.”

Yes, you’re going to end things with Jim and do your best to move on from this completely fucked up situation, but for now? For now you just want to live in this moment.

You just want to be with him. 

“I want to be with you,” he pants as he lays you on your bed, before resuming his pace and fucking you brutally hard. “I love you!”

“Oh my God!”

You don’t care if you two wake up the whole damn building.

“Tell me you don’t feel the same! Lie to me and tell me you don’t feel the same!”

“I fucking love...Jesus...Jim! Don’t stop!”

“That’s right, Angel. Take everything I’m givin’ ya,” he husks, pinning your hands above your head as starts biting and sucking on your neck.

“Oh fuck!”

“I’ve missed you so much, my Angel,” he grunts, the feel of his breath on your neck making you clench him tighter. “Fuck, just suckin’ me in!”

“Jim...aht...please!”

“Give it to me,” he groans as you ball your hands into fists.

You squirt hard as you lull your head back and arch your back,”fuck!”

“So good for me, Angel,” he groans as he pulls out.

Before you can whine in protest, he flips you as if you weigh nothing, and you’re instantly ready to go again.

“Hands and knees for me, Angel,” he demands gruffly, and you instantly comply, arching your back and curling your toes in anticipation. “You think we can just stop?” he asks rhetorically, gripping your hips tight before thrusting into you.

“Ah shit!”

“You’re mine, Angel. You’re mine, just like I’m yours,” he whispers seductively against the shell of your ear, thrusting harder and faster.

“Jim...I love you! Fuck, I love you so much! God...that’s it!” you cry out, strangling your pillows as he hits that spot he’s only ever been able to find. “Right fuckin’ there! Don’t stop!”

“Say it! Fuckin’ tell me what I need to hear!”

“ ‘m yours, Jim! All yours, always!”

“Fuck, not gonna...cum with me Angel! Please!” he husks pathetically, resting his head in the crook of your neck, kissing it softly as he coats your inner walls with his desire.

You have no choice but to obey, and you yell his name in the process, as mind numbing pleasure washes over you.

“So good for me, my Angel. So sweet,” he coos as he rides out both of your highs.

You’re quick to collapse onto your bed, trying to clear the euphoric clouds out 

of your head. You don’t know why you thought you’d be able to think clearly 

around him, especially when you’re already so emotional. You know what the 

right thing to do is, but it’s not what you want. It’s not what either of you want.

You hate this so much.

“We can figure this out,” Jim promises softly as he gets in bed next to 

you, instantly pulling you close.

“Jim...what we’re doing is wrong. What we’ve been doing is wrong-”

“I want to be with you.”

“You’re her husband and she’s my Mother. Jim, it should’ve never 

gotten this far. We’re horrible people.”

“Are you afraid of her hating you?”

“I can deal with her hating me. Shes always resented me a bit and 

that’s fine, I’ve always been able to handle it. What’s hard to handle is me 

being the reason she’s heartbroken. She doesn’t deserve that.”

“It wouldn’t be-”

“Jim you may have been the one who initiated everything, but it’s not 

like I ever tell you no and meant it. I want every part of ya just as much as you 

want every part of me.”

“I don’t wanna stop, Angel. I don’t want you with anyone else and I 

don’t wanna be with anyone else.”

“I love you and I’m so happy when we’re together. So fuckin’ happy, 

but this isn’t right. You leaving her for me...Jim, we can’t.”

“So, this is it?”

“We don’t have a choice.”

“We do, you just don’t like the other option.”

“Jim, for as angry as ya are, I know you don’t wanna hurt her.”

“I don’t, but you’re who I’ve always been lookin’ for. We were made for 

each other.”

“Jim...we have to let each other go.”

“After this week,” he sighs heavily, pressing a kiss to the back of your 

neck, “I’ll stay away.”

“Jim, I do love you, it’s just that...this is the right thing to do. Give it a 

few months, and everything will be back to how it was. It’ll hurt for a while, but 

it’ll be alright.”

“How it is now is how it always should be,” he mumbles into your hair 

before pressing a soft kiss into it. “Lets sleep, you have a lot of work to do in 

the morning.”

It’s not like this isn’t ripping your heart up. You want to be with Jim more than 

anything, but you can’t handle hurting your Mother like this. The ultimate 

betrayal. You have to get over this, because what’s the point? Your 

happiness shouldn’t have to make your Mother miserable. No, this is for the 

best. Yes, it’ll hurt and drive you insane for a while, but it won’t always be like 

this. It’ll get better.

Or so you hope.

~~

[tamtuliko]

Tyme, dear, revenger Tyme.

As we are heading to the end, we must talk about Tyme. Now that we saw the real timeline and have a prove how messed and fucked up Great is, we must take a look in Tyme's life.

Look, I'm not saying that Great is a bad person, he is not, he is broken, neglected, lost child who has problems with his emotions, he is rich kid whose family members are assholes and his choice of friends need to be questioned, but again Rich, spoiled kids are sticking together right? Title is rich, spoiled, wicked as well, killed his classmate, locked his girlfriend, and I don't think that it's his first time, as well as Great's. They have done many bad things, but remember what Tyme said: depends on how rich you are, you can get away even with murdering someone, even if it was an accident. So, no, guys, Great is not good or bad, Great is a tragic child.

But I want to talk about Tyme. Let's see what we have:

•dead perents

•grandmother with whom he has strong bond

•Girlfriend - ex, but they've been together pretty long, right? She said Tyme had changed in the last two years.

•friend - s.

My wild guess is that, two years ago, before the real-time line, Tyme found out how his parents were killed, finding the diary his mother wrote. We have seen pictures of him and his mother, alive, innocent, and happy. I think even after his parents' death, he and his grandmother were happy. The old lady did say that she wanted to see Happy Tyme again, that he was happy before. Even if they didn't have money, they still had each other, Tyme was getting his doctor degree, he had a strong relationship with a beautiful girl and had friends. So Tyme was happy, he was not alone. Until he finds the diary and all the hell breaks. I guess he started his search and planned the revenge. With this, he lost interest in other things. His happiness was lost, and his whole life became an idea of revenge.

This is the Tyme me meet. We have not seen happy, carefree, having girlfriend Tyme. We see anger, no emotional strings, cold Tyme, the one who has no interest in his girlfriend, she broke up, and he was standing drinking coffee.

I mean, look at him ,he gives no fuck.

And then an opportunity, a golden one appears in front of him, kind of God itself send him gift. BTW this is the gift:

Fucked up son of his enemy. And the whole plan was born in his pretty head. Let's seduce, fuck him, film it and put it out on porn site. Tyme, darling you said you did your search about Great, tf you thought he would care about anything. Here is Tymes first mistake. He doesn't get Great at all. He doesn't know how wicked this kid was. But he learned.

And Tyme went and forgot all human side of himself. Went straight to Great and seduce him (btw his pick-up lines in every timeline are garbage, dude seriously🤣)

So they fucked, and the way it was shown, we can see that even it is for revenge, they both very much enjoy it. If Tyme didn't enjoy it, he wouldn't be caressing Great's body. It's a simple anatomy. If you don't like or feel anything towards someone, you won't get a turn-on. What we saw is that both of them are turned on beyond belief. They fuck (not make love, like Great's timeline). Tyme filmed it and here, he had second thoughts about posting it. We see how he is fighting to himself and the morals he once had. But then he sees the photograph, bright, alive, happy, and he goes with his revenge.

And here he miscalculated another thing again, Great, who he thought, will never appear in front of him appears and chases after him, like lost puppy/kitten , he is.

See Tyme ignored Great with not answering him, but Great, the brat he is goes after him. I guess that D was good, but he is intrigued. Someone was able to stand up his father. Even his mom, Korn they obey his father, but we've got Tyme who did something crazy and Great is interested. Again, it doesn't make him a good person. So they go on dinner, and here Tyme sees it, understands it: he was wrong about Great. Look at his face:

The disbelief in his eyes. He is like wtf kid.

Tyme, with all his glory plan, understands the small mistake: Great can't be controlled, can't be used, because he doesn't care. And he understands the tragedy of this child, because he is child, he was brave to come and find Tyme, when he was told to go home if he doesn't want to eat in cheap place, he didn't, he said that he will eat, he cant even eat spicy food and yet, just to be near Tyme, to have more time with him, Great choose to eat it. This is a child who doesn't want to be left alone, who is lonely and doesn't know how to be a normal human being, cause around him there are no people with morals.

And Tyme does what Tyme can do, leaves Great, cause he can't be responsible for Great, he can't deal with Great, for Great it is a game, for Tyme it is revenge and his life on line. Nans life, his grandmother's life. For Great: just a game, where he will enjoy a good fuck and make his dads life miserable, but the same the cure of his loneliness.

So Tyme leaves. Without looking back.

See, Tyme is not a good person, but again, he is not bad either. Tyme is also a very tragic character, a person who couldn't move on. He is supposed to be a doctor, saving life, and must have morals. Yet we have a doctor, with not many emotions, trying to be a doctor for money, and not happy at all. The irony, right? He must be saving life's, instead he is losing one's.

Tyme is tragic because he can't save Nan, and he does blame himself, but all anger he takes out on Great. And yes, Great could've saved Nan, but he is a coward and didn't, but Great saved Tyme. Because he is genuinely interested in Tyme, he is emotionally connected (onesided) with him. So he couldn't stand Tymes' death. We saw that he had no problems with other people dying. He developed feelings, and Tyme might be bad with plans, but I think he knows about Greats one-sided interest in him (not love).

Here is one thing I liked in Tyme, instead of using that one-sided interest, he did one right thing, showed Great his own cowardence. Told him how weak he is. They said awful things to each other. Great telling Tyme to go die, Tyme telling Great that he deserves to go to hell.

See, they are not good at all, but they are not bad either.

The society they live in is garbage. And they are tragic characters who could've saved each other. Instead, they will be the end of each other.

I don't know what can be more tragic than this.

Two souls, trying their hard to live, but....

Well, they are gonna die, there is no doubt. I just hope they can find their ways to each other, forgive each other. In the end, we are all humans. We can learn on our own mistakes. And try and live our life without regrets. There might be no second chance.

We are still going to see Tymes regrets, his and Greats cardiac arrest is going same time, so they are gonna meet again, they are going to have their own 4 minutes, and one of them will be saved and another will die, or both of them will be dying moving to another life. My brain is on 🔥.

My bet is on Tymes' death. He did see door opening and light. Typical afterlife entrance. But again, this drama is not a typical one, so two more weeks...

P.S

They are giving me butterflies 🦋

[logansargeantsbabymom]

Too Good To Say Goodbye pt 5

Logan Sargeant x Fem!Reader, Lando Norris x Fem!Reader

warnings: cursing, mentions of miscarriage/stillborn

part 1 I part 2 I part 3 I part 4 I part 5 I part 6 I part 7 I part 8 I part 9 I part 10

F1 Masterlist

Follow my instagram account (THATS STRICTLY FOR THIS BLOG) for updates on when i post and fun stuff like that!

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I couldn't put this off anymore. I had to talk to Logan about the night in the delivery room and I had to tell Lando about my reoccurring dreams. I know I technically haven't done anything wrong and I haven't cheated but something about my dreams have been feeling a little too real. My feelings for Logan might be too real.

No, stop that Y/N, Logan treated you like shit, there's no way you possibly like him. No. You're not that naive , you know better than to have feelings for a man that treated you like shit. But he also gave you a kid. A kid you so desperately wanted, one you needed to have, to love, to hold, to care for, to cherish after my first born passed.

I'd gotten off the phone with Logan shortly before Lando re-entered our room.

"She's finally back down, her pacifier fell out of her mouth." all Lando said before he got back into bed, trying to cuddle me. I felt so awful with myself and felt like I didn't deserve his comforting touch so I scooted away and attempted to get out of bed.

"Hey what's wrong? Where are you going?" a hint of sadness in his voice but that was quickly covered up with a simple clearing of his throat.

"Shower. Me and Lily are gonna hang out. Maybe you and Oscar could have Yelena for the day? I know Oscar has been begging to take her out and be the favorite uncle but I don't trust him alone with my daughter." a chuckle leaves my lips as I try not to sound nervous.

Why is the thought of having a civil conversation about the well being of my daughter with her father making me feel so icky and nervous? Part of me longs to have a healthy relationship with Logan, I mean he was my everything. Logan made me believe in love, he gave me 2 wonderful pregnancies even if I'll be able to never meet my other baby.

I quickly gathered things that I would need for my shower, a McLaren t-shirt, a pair of jeans, a bra, underwear, my Bose speaker, and a pair of slides before I made my way into the bathroom. I turned the shower on hot before I set everything down and got all my hair products that I'd need.

I took my H/C hair out of the bun I'd just had up prior, letting it fall past my shoulders in a curly nappy mess. I loved my hair don't get me wrong, but all the products I needed for it and how fast it would get nappy would sometimes be too much for me.

Stepping into the hot shower, I let it flow over me and letting my hair get soaked before I started lathering on some shampoo. While I was working the shampoo on my scalp, I couldn't help but imagine a life where Logan and I were endgame, a life where we didn't have split custody of our daughter, a life where when me and Yelena went to the paddock we were going into the Williams garage to cheer for Daddy instead of going into McLaren to cheer for mommy's new boyfriend, a life where little Theo James Sargeant was still alive.

Thinking about little Theo always made me emotional, I couldn't ever imagine a moment in the future where I could talk about him and not want to sob and quite frankly, I don't want their to ever be a time where it doesn't. I'll feel like I forgot about him and that's the last thing I want.

Maybe if Theo was alive none of this would've happened, me and Logan would still be happy, we could have 2 kids instead of 1. If Theo were here all my problems would be solved, I would be happy, Logan would be happy, but I wouldn't be with Lando. Life had its ups and downs, I wouldn't trade my relationship with Lando for the world.

It felt like I was lathering my scalp while being deep in thought for hours but in reality, when I snapped out of my trance I heard the ending of Taylor Swift's All Too Well (10 minute version). I quickly rinsed the shampoo out before quickly conditioning and brushing my hair out. I put my hair up in a little bun to allow my hair to soak up as much conditioner as possible while I scrubbed the rest of my body clean, I decided that today would be one of my ‘everything’ shower days so I also grabbed Lando’s razor that he has in the shower and shaved my legs and armpits.

Once I was done shaving, I took my hair out of the bun and rinsed the conditioner out while simultaneously raking my hands through my hair to get rid of the knots that formed. Once that was done I turned off the shower, wrapped my velcro towel around my body and wrapped my hair in a towel wrap. I’d looked at the time on my phone while trying to change the song, only to realize that I’m supposed to meet Logan at a little coffee shop that was 10 minutes away, in 20 minutes and I wasn’t ready yet.

I’d quickly a no makeup makeup look before quickly drying off my body and throwing my clothes on. I took my hair out the wrap and quickly, but efficiently worked some product in my hair to make sure I still had the curl and bounce when it dried.

I was so busy rushing out of the bathroom that I almost ran right into Lando who was holding Yelena.

“Oh there’s mommy!” Lando says while he points in my direction while simultaneously poking Yelena’s tummy “We were just coming to say bye to you. Oscar is waiting in my car” a smile appears on my face. Lando’s been so good to me and how do I repay him? I’m going behind his back to talk to my ex and baby dad about reoccurring dreams I’ve had about us being a happy family after our little “moment” in the delivery room.

I place a quick sweet kiss against Lando’s lips before I place a big fat one on Yelena’s head “Sorry I took long in the bathroom. Took an ‘everything’ shower, you know how it is.” a small chuckle leaves his lips before we hear a honk from outside “You guys should get going before Uncle Oscar gets mad” I say while I also place delicate pokes on Yelena’s tummy. A quick nod, faint goodbye and a goodbye kiss from Lando was what I got before he left.

I checked my phone again, I had 5 minutes to get to a coffee shop that was 10 minutes away. I quickly shot Logan a text saying that I was gonna be about 5 minutes behind schedule because I got caught in ‘traffic’. I figured it was believable when Logan shot me a ‘All good, I’ll be here when you arrive’ text.

——

When I’d arrived at the little coffee shop I spotted Logan in a quiet corner. He quickly spotted me because he’d basically leaped out of his seat to welcome me.

“Hey, I figured since you were gonna be late, I’d just order your drink for you. I got you a y/f/d, I hope that’s still your favorite.” the nervous smile that sprawled across his face made my heart clench. He was so cute, oh how badly I wanted to grab his face and pull him close to me. I shook my head to rid the thoughts in my brain.

“Yep, once my favorite always my favorite.” I graciously took the drink from his hands before we both sat down. We sat in silence for what felt like forever before Logan started the conversation.

“So, I called you here because, oh man, how do I say this? I asked you to be here because,” he let out a shaky breath before continuing “because ever since that night in the delivery room, I haven’t stopped dreaming of you. About us, all of us being one big happy family. Me, You and Yelena just living the life and I can’t help the yearn for that. I know you want nothing to do with me but” he placed his hand on top mine that rested on my drink “I know I fucked up big time all those months ago, and I know you hate me and want nothing to do with me, but please, give me one more chance. One more chance to prove to you that I’m a better, changed man. To prove to you that I’ll do anything it takes to be the best father and husband I can be. I love you and Yelena, will all of my heart, soul and bones I love you.”

Tears welled up in my eyes, I can’t tell him I’ve had the same dreams and that I feel that way too. The universe has a weird way of trying to get people together.

I pull my drink up to my lips which caused his hand to fall off mine. “Logan, I- We can’t- I’m with” I closed my eyes and took a long deep breath before I tried to continue “Logan, I love you more than you’ll ever know. You gave me a beautiful daughter and a life I never thought I’d have. I owe you so much but that debt I owed you went straight down the drain the moment you said that I should’ve killed myself, the moment you said I was another piece of ass to you and the moment” a few tears slipped “The moment you said you could impregnate ANY woman.”

I placed my drink down before grabbing a napkin from the dispenser on the table to wipe the fallen tears off my face. A beat or two passed before anyone said anything.

“Do you ever think,” Logan waited a beat before the continued, almost as if he was regretting what he was about to say “Do you ever think that if Theo were still here, none of this would’ve happened? That we’d be happy and together, that Yelena would be able to meet her big brother?”

I could see the tears forming in Logan’s eyes and the tears that once stopped falling came right back.

A choked sob left my throat at the mention of our late son. My body shook with so much pain and sadness that I hadn’t notice Logan left his seat. Not at least until I felt his big strong arms wrap around my body in a tight embrace. I could feel his body shake in his own quiet sobs. We stayed like this for what felt like hours, just in an embrace, sobbing, in public, where everyone is staring.

“Y/N?” Oh no, I recognized that voice. We pulled apart at the mention of my name turning to see Lando pushing a stroller and Oscar following suit “I thought you said you were hanging out with Lily?” Lando sounded suspicious as he looked between Logan and Me observing both of us red eyed. “Why are you both crying? Baby, are you okay?”

“Oh! Yes! Haha, Lily was running late so I grabbed a drink and saw Logan here and then we started talking about Theo” I said wiping the tears from under my eyes again

Oscar’s eyes closed and his face contorted in its own way of saying ‘oh no’

“That’s so funny babe because” Lily walked in “We actually ran into Lily and she mentioned nothing about your guys’ plans. Actually said that she’s been trying to set up a day where you guys could spend the day out and shop and have girls night but said that you kept postponing it. So why are you here with Logan and why’d you lie?”

The tension between us so thick you could hack it with a butcher knife a few times and it wouldn’t cut.

I’ve been caught in lies before but this one, I don’t know how I’m getting out of it.

“I promise I will tell you everything Lando, just not here”

Lando turned and whispered some things to Oscar and Lily whom nodded in agreement before handing them the stroller and the diaper bag and kissing Yelena goodbye.

He’s taken on such a natural fatherly role in her life that to the outside world, Yelena was his daughter and that’s what I admired about him, that’s why I fell in love with him and that’s why I really, really can’t lose him.

“We’re leaving.” was all Lando said before I whispered a goodbye to Logan and followed him out the door and to his McLaren.

The car ride home was awkward and silent. It hadn’t felt this bad in a car alone with him since I told him all those months ago about what happened with me and Logan. After what felt like an eternity we finally arrived at our house. The walk inside and into our bedroom was also awkward and silent.

Oh how I hated when Lando was mad at me.

“Why’d you lie?” it sounded cold, kinda made my heart break “Why were you out with Logan and why did you lie to me?”

“I-” I released a shaky breath “I met with Logan because” I was cut off

“Are you still in love with him?” betrayal and heartbreak coated Lando’s voice

“No! Absolutely not! Lando please don’t think like that!” I quickly walked over to him cupping his face and used my thumb to wipe a stray tear from his face

“I was with Logan because he wanted to talk about that night in the delivery room. He wanted to tell me that he’s been having dreams of us being a big happy family. He asked me what he could do to get me back, to win us back” the look in his eyes told me he believed what I was saying

“and what did you say?”

“I told him that after the way he treated me that I would never get back with him.” I felt him nod against my hands that were still holding his face before I wrapped them around his neck and pulled him into a tight hug feeling his arms wrap around my waist and squeezed tight.

I wanted to stay like this forever, wrapped up in his tight embrace. I felt like nothing bad could happen, I felt on top of the world and that’s how I wanted to stay, but all good things eventually come to an end.

The churn of my stomach is what pulled me away from Lando and I knew I was gonna be sick. I rushed myself to the bathroom before spilling my guts into the toilet. Lando quickly rushed in to hold my hair back and rub my back.

“I’ll be back. I’m gonna grab you a bottle of water” Lando said before he quickly jogged to the kitchen.

I’ve been sick before, but this felt different. I’ve felt this kind of sickness before. Twice, actually. I rested my head in my arms on the toilet seat before frantically looking around in the sink cupboard. I had to search quickly before Lando came back, I couldn’t find it and I didn’t want to call for Lando. One more quick search of lifting things up is when I finally see them.

pregnancy tests.

-

HEY!! I MISSED YOU!

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[ohmycale]

I guess I am alive again...

I have not been in the fandom for quite some time due to life and many things happening in real life. Somebody in real life asked to read and comment on a post defending Deruth. It's a good read and I agree on most of it. Which even surprising that I'm writing this. I hope I would not offend anyone if I would just highlight some of the things I read that make me think. A bit of a long post incoming

I agree that he's an okay parent...for any other child and any other time except during Jour's death. But since ogCale was a neglected child by most adults around him (during and after this time), especially his parents, I would beg to differ. And here I am thinking that parents try their best even at their worst times. Tbh, the post feels like an excuse Deruth's neglect like many posts that I have read. Just another one who handwave neglect and worse, treat it as something so trivial. Neglect is treated as something so minor that should be waived by time or force. Assuming that we're not holding Deruth on a pedestal, why is an apology for his failings such a bad thing to do, fathom or even ask for?

Father and child were both grieving but it seems that it was only Deruth's grief that mattered. Nobody gave a shit for the child who had his life upside down from losing his mother, ignored by his father, and got a new family that he was (for intents and purposes at that time) didn't even ask for. Because Deruth moved on, everyone, especially Cale, has to. Because of a new family, og!cale never said anything coz he'd probably be answered by 'Don't you want your father (Deruth) to be happy?' (classic line for stepkids) If that's the feedback, why bother opening up and saying something? Og!Cale will be the bad guy for expressing such thoughts and feelings. In real life blended families, it's the parents who facilitate everything including communication. It's the adults who should be guiding the children and have control of the situation. Also, let's not forget that it was Deruth who distanced himself from og!Cale first and never bothered to patch their relationship and issues even to the point that og!cale changed a lot aka Roksu appeared.

I understand that people are not at their best selves when grieving. I was the same. But I am not an adult nor a parent. I didn't have a child that I had to care for or be responsible for. It might have been hard, but it would not sit on my conscience to burden a kid with my messy emotions or pull away. Because pulling away from a person who thought they were loved by you leads them to think that they are at fault. At the very least, og!cale deserved a conversation about his mother's passing and his father's actions at that time.

I don't care about the worst father list. As mentioned before, Deruth only gets the benefit of the doubt already because he is kind and trying. Trying but didn’t succeed. For me, his trying is not for readers to judge, His effort should only matter to og!cale and whether it is enough to absolve Deruth for his failings.

I agree that both Deruth and og!cale are bad at communicating. Deruth did set the precedent of not communicating and pulling away.

The first few chapters show that he cares for his son in his way. Yeah, but he's not reaching his son, does he? They barely had a functioning relationship and we're supposed to congratulate him? As a reader, we get it that he cares for his son. But if we ask Deruth, should he be happier that he’s winning over strangers rather than the person he's trying to care for? And if Deruth is on speaking terms with og!Cale to his son, it’s not gonna be that hard to bring out a topic or issues.

Not touching the Violan bit because she is his stepmother (and stepfamilies are so complex and hard) and to be honest, a better adult than her husband,

8. You can also argue that Deruth didn't try hard enough. He does try. He's not just good efficient as exemplified by the post. He doesn't speak about the things that matter to them both but does the indirect and inefficient ways. He shouldn't be surprised if keeps trying bad ways to reconcile and act surprised when it fails.

9. So for parents to try harder doesn't usually end up with a heart-to-heart talk unless the other wants to talk. It's a risk that a parent has to take - either grab them by the horns or be miserable trying to communicate via the mind. And suffer the odds for the risk.

Re Basen and Lily. I am ambivalent about them. It’s not because they were kids or they did something bad to og!cale. For some people, especially the people who were left by their parents to have a do-over family, they are a symbol. I mean, sans og!Cale, Deruth is winning. He has a new family – a wife that shares his burden, a (spare) son for the county, a daughter that he might have wished for. There are real fathers and mothers who abandon their original families/children because THEY CAN. Is it projecting? Absolutely effing lutely. Is it reasonable enough to expect? Yes. Because Deruth is a flawed human being who already showed that he CAN abandon og!Cale if he so wished. And nobody can stop or even disapprove of him because of his status and position. It is good that Deruth in the story defies this but he’s still doing the BARE MINIMUM.

Overall, whether Deruth is a bad father will be a recurring conversation topic for the fandom. There are many viewpoints but I always always side with the views most relevant and applicable to og!Cale even it might be biased. If og!Cale is here with us, I am sure he will be more than happy to tell us what he thinks.

But we don’t. Any opinion, even the scathing and unpopular ones, deserves merit. It’s good that fandom is not a monolith especially in this because this topic and og!cale’s experiences are so relatable.

Here’s a summary of my stand

Being a good parent to Basen and Lily doesn’t mean he was a good father to og!Cale even if og!Cale does love him

Og!Cale doesn’t need to forgive or forget what Deruth did in the worst time of their lives because he loves him

Deruth is afraid, I get that. But if he remains afraid, his hope for reconciliation isn’t gonna pan out as he hopes to.

Deruth needs to accept that there is a chance it is too late.

Deruth needs to accept consequences for the negative things he gave to og!cale, unintentional or not. Even if og!Cale understands why he did what he did.

Did I just log into my dormant account to post this? Yes.

Is this longer than I intended? Also, yes.

Are my fanfic bunnies dead yet? Maybe.

Hope somebody enjoys this one.

[villainsandvictimsalliance]

Ok, I’m arguing with someone about the Todoroki family, and like I get there maybe some responsibility on Rei’s shoulders as a parent. However, they’re saying Rei was abusive towards Enji, that she abused him and her being aggressive and constantly yelling is what changed him. They said he was a victim turned abuser, and that his family emotionally abused him. Did Rei abuse him? Was he emotionally abused by his family? Like the situation was a spiral I guess but in no way did it give off that he was the victim of the family situation???

Tell them to reread the manga. In the best way possible, really. I probably have to reread the manga too because I don't remember all that well the whole Todofam drama, but here I go:

Long post, beware!!!!! ;)

For what I know, Enji's trauma started with the death of his father. That's what motivated him to become a hero. After that, he got blinded by his perfectionism and his jealousy towards All Might.

The only reason the Todofam exists is because Enji wanted a child with both fire and ice quirks. That's why he proposed to Rei. The Himuras were very old-fashioned, in the sense that they didn't even like their members marrying outside of the family so as to not stain their names. Their quirks got weaker with time, they started losing money and influence. That's when Enji arrived: he'd give money to the Himuras if Rei were to marry him.

Now, Rei's trauma comes from her family and the ways of the Himuras. Her trauma didn't start with Enji, but it surely intensified with it.

Attempting to create a quirks through arranged marriages is a dangerous dangerous thing to do. We see a doctor telling that to both Enji and Rei. They were aware of that. The problem with the union of Enji and Rei is that, even if there was love at the beginning —even if— it depended solely on the quirks of the children. A man who willingly pushes away his children because they don't have the quirk he wants and that forces their mother to raise them alone— that's not a good husband or father, you know?

Rei was there to provide him with children and to take care of them. It sounds more like she was an employee than her wife. It was abuse right from the start, okay?

Rei did what he asked. Birthed his children and took care of them. She was submissive at first. Went along with his plans. You know the drill.

When it was revealed that Touya's body couldn't handle the heat of his flames, that's when things got ugly. They knew the risk, it shouldn't have been a surprise. At that point, Enji had put a lot of pressure and expectations on little Touya. He filled the kid's head with lies, made Touya value himself only by his dad's expectations. Touya was born for one reason alone and he had been living for it and it was killing him.

Rei saw that. Enji saw that.

Both tried to do damage control and backtrack, but Touya was too smart. While they told Touya he could live his life as something else than the hero his father wanted, he knew that it made him a failure in their eyes. The stress of destroying her children's lives got to both Rei and Enji. It wasn't something intangible. It was their son burning alive right before their eyes. It was their son telling Rei the truth of her marriage to her face.

Let's be honest here, Rei was one step away from being a slave. She married Enji to save her family and damned children in the process.

I think in order to properly understand Rei's role in the whole drama, you need to consider certain cultural aspects. Like how women are viewed in Japan, what is expected from them once they get married, the power a husband has over his wife, how women get economically trapped by men in relationships all the time... I'm not an expert on those aspects, but it's worth mentioning them.

Now, back to Rei and Enji.

Rei started "fighting" Enji after Touya was fully deemed a failure. You can see that she didn't like the idea of another child, especially because it'd be terrible for Touya's wellbeing. It'd confirm he was not enough. Still, she went along with Enji's plan. It was not a happy house. Enji was acting more and more aggressively, Rei was more and more nervous. Shouto was born and Touya tried to kill him— he didn't want to be replaced, he did not want to lose his place at home.

It started building. what happened to Touya was not confined to Sekoto Peak. It was years in the making, that tragedy. I can only imagine how Rei felt when she got the news. She had begged her son to stay, but her submissive role couldn't save him. It wouldn't be enough.

Touya dies. Enji spirals.

Horikoshi is careful to draw Rei terrified. She tells ugly truths to Enji's face. Is that abuse? Is it abuse if a woman who's being treated like an employee and who had to watch her husband traumatize their kids screams at said man? We know that Enji was physically abusive with Shouto and that he even went against Rei, which made Shout stand up to him to stop him from hurting his mom.

The only reason why Rei had a mental breakdown (freaking diagnosed) is because the very eyes of Enji were enough to make her shake and want to defend herself physically.

It's obvious she was scared for her life. It's even more obvious she was convinced he would hurt her. She was terrified of her own children 'cause they looked like him.

Rei was definitely not the best mother. She didn't deserve to reach that level of abuse, tho.

What made Endeavor be like that is the violence of the society he grew up in and his very own competitiveness and low self-esteem. Then the consequences of his own actions. For All Might and Deku to feel like they need to protect Shouto from Endeavor? For Rei to rather be in a mental hospital than at home? For Touya to go back and decide he didn't want to be alive?

He is textually treated like a villain in the manga. At least at first.

Even if Rei confronting Enji caused him some psychological damage, it's the same as saying that a criminal got physiological trauma from committing his crimes. Saying Rei was the one who made him like that is awful victim blaming.

Enji created all those situations himself. I guess that's why Rei reminds him at the hospitals that he doesn't get to play the "poor me" role, when they all have been dealing with the hurt of what happened to their family.

Later, Endeavor acknowledges it himself. He takes responsibility for it, stops feeling pity for himself and decides to do something about it. Namely, puts his life on the line to solve the issue with the Todorokis. You know how fire is known for its purifying properties? You can say that the Todofam burning together gave them a second chance, somehow.

Their resolution involved Rei taking an active role in saving Touya (same with Fuyumi and Natsuo), while Enji put himself at the service of the son he always ignored and mistreated. I didn't write it, it was all Horikoshi.

So again, kindly tell the other person to reread the manga and then you both can engage in that discussion again. As it is, I doubt it'd reach any productive term.

Hope this answer satisfies you, anon!!!!!

[cluescorner]

I have been unable to get the idea of baby Kaeya sneaking off to Sumeru without telling anyone out of my head

Baby Kaeya: I have successfully snuck into Sumeru in a merchant convoy. I may have left without saying goodbye, but I’m sure the Ragnvindrs will not mind. After all, surely they don’t see me as their actual family. They might raise a fuss and be in agony if Diluc were to disappear, but not for me. 

Meanwhile......

Crepus, on his 8th bottle: How on earth have I managed to lose an entire child?? Did he get kidnapped? Did he run away? Is he alive? Is he safe? I’m going to have a breakdown holy shit. I have failed as a father. Elzer, have the knights gotten back about their search of the area? Or the private squad I hired? 

Elzer: I’m afraid they have found nothing...but look on the bright side! At least we haven’t lost Diluc...

Adeline, literally physically restraining Diluc to stop him from running off to search for Kaeya: Yet. We have not lost Diluc YET. 

----------------------------------------

Merchant guy: Hey, uh, guys? 

Merchant lady: Yeah? 

Merchant guy: Can somebody read this handwriting? I think whoever wrote this must have been in a hurry or something. And are those...tear stains? 

Merchant lady: Sure...hm looks like the boss’s son is missing....

Merchant guy: Huh. Well we guarded the goods pretty well but let’s check just to make sure. 

Merchant lady: *Opens up the goods to find Kaeya wedged between 2 crates* Oh we’re so fired. 

Kaeya: In your defense, it’s only been a few days. One time I hid from...something for a week. And it was far more perceptive than you are, so you can hardly be blamed for missing me for only a few days. It was a fun challenge, but I was very hungry afterwards. By the way, do you have some water? I did not want to risk revealing myself, so I have not moved from this spot since we left. 

Merchant guy: We’re not fired...we’re dead. 

------------------------------

Crepus, sprinting to Sumeru: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

----------------------------------------

Merchant guy: So...while we wait for your dad, why did you come here anyways? I’m sure we could do something fun. 

Kaeya: Hmmm, no. You should not look into why I came here. That would be bad, for me and for you. 

Merchant lady, whispering to merchant guy: Hey, um, what the fuck does that mean?

Merchant guy, whispering to merchant lady: The boss said his new kid was kinda odd, but this wasn’t what I was expecting. 

------------------------------------

Crepus: KAEYA! OH THANK GOODNESS YOU ARE OK! 

Kaeya: Hello Master Crepus. I hope I didn’t cause too much-

Crepus: WHY ON TEYVAT WOULD YOU JUST RUN AWAY? DID YOU JUST WANT TO GO TO SUMERU TO SEE THE RAINFORESTS OR SOMETHING?

Kaeya: ...Sure. I read about it in a book and thought it looked cool. I wanted to see it, and so I left. 

Crepus: *sigh* Kaeya, next time you want to take a vacation somewhere, please just tell us. You ARE grounded for a month since you broke a very big rule, but afterwards I’ll see about arranging a trip to Sumeru for us. 

Kaeya: Crossing Teyvat to find me, grounding me, and arranging trips around my preferences? Why are you treating me so similarly to how you treat Diluc? 

Crepus: Because you are both my sons. Why on earth would I treat you any differently? 

Kaeya, forming the first healthy relationship with an adult in his entire life and realizing that he has grown attached to the very family he was left to spy on then eventually betray: Oh. This...I feel weird. Bad-weird and good-weird. 

Crepus: Well, you probably feel weird because you were LODGED BETWEEN TWO CRATES FOR 4 DAYS STRAIGHT? You’re going to give me a heart attack one day, I swear. Now we’re going back to Mondstadt right now, and you’re grounded starting the day after we get back. I highly doubt Adelinde and Diluc will be able to restrain themselves from fawning over you, they’ve been a mess. 

Kaeya, realizing that now only has he grown attached to his new family, but they have grown incredibly attached to him: Oh...oh no. 

[pigdemonart]

Do you ship Fox and Krystal?? Because they were my childhood 🥺 baby's first otp yknow

hahah I do! But with a BIG asterisk. Putting it under cut for INSANE STAR FOX RAMBLINGS

* <- the big asterisk: I ship them, but like I also am okay with them not being end-game. I think their relationship could be so much bigger than that!! OK so, let me explain. When I was a kiddo I shipped them! I was a baby furry and I loooooved that there was a playable girl character in Star Fox FINALLY (though, you know that was for only a split second bhnjmk) But now, I just think the way they were both written in the games was a little boring and one-note. Also just uncomfortable at times, since her first appearance Krystal was made out to be weird kinda-fetishy, sex-appeal and not much else. I don't think that's a controversial statement though LOL Later games I don't much feel for their chemistry either, though they have cute moments here and there. The more interesting parts about them is when they're not seeing eye-to-eye and they're apart from each other, honestly. So in my drawings I was picturing something less canon and more re-imagined. Krystal is the lone survivor of her race and she's on Sauria trying to find the truth about what happened to her home planet while also aiding the local wildlife. I don't imagine the dinosaurs speaking much in my version, but Krystal is telepathic and an empath, she can read their minds well enough to talk to them and be understood. I imagine also she knows about Andross, but doesn't believe he's the reason her planet was destroyed (there's disagreements on if that is canon or not, and I think its pretty silly to blame every bad thing on the one guy.) I think it would be fun if Krystal (never being encased in a crystal because that plot was dumb) meets Fox on Sauria early on in the events of Star Fox Adventures. I mean it would have been GREAT if Krystal was his partner, instead of Tricky. Though in the drawings I included Tricky too, cuz why not? I like the dynamic of Krystal being kind towards all living creatures and Fox having to learn to keep up with that. Nature never seemed like his -thing- ya know. See I like the idea of their personalities crashing a lot at first. They are from different cultures and backgrounds, their understanding of Lylat history is different -- Fox being from Corneria means he views the war against Andross as a necessary thing, something Andross brought on himself and eventually paid for with his life, not to mention the death of his father weighs heavily on him forever. Krystal disagrees, being a firm believer that war is never the answer and the price of peace for some came at the cost of the death of others, including her own people. Like...DO YOU SEE HOW MUCH THEY WOULDN'T MIX, they are just too different and too caught up in their own life missions to really get the other's intentions. But then in spite of all that, they become friends. I think my ver. of Krystal while looking down on Fox somewhat for being a mercenary would also be intrigued by him. She would want to know how exactly this guy and his team defeated Andross, and from there know more stories about his life. Likewise, Fox being stuck on ground on Sauria with Krystal I think would open his eyes a bit more (lmao touch some grass for once) and they would at least bond with each other while also helping each other stay alive. I think they realize on their own that they each bring out good things about one another... at least at first.

In the games Krystal is pretty much assimilated into Star Fox and we don't really see how that happens or how she really feels about it. We just know she eventually breaks up with Fox and cuts ties with the rest of them, something that broke my heart when I was a kid, but I'm not super against or in disagreement with. Personally I just think her sort of beliefs and upbringing would have never lent itself well to the line of work Star Fox does, at least not so easily. It came off to me like she was a young woman caught up in a romance that felt right at first and then became bitter and unfulfilling once reality set in. And in my eyes, I think its more interesting if she becomes disillusioned with Star Fox and the Cornerian Defense Force because, put simply, Krystal isn't pro-military. And that's sad...but it's pretty raw, too. And I love my stupid children's game about furries in space being full of dark themes!! Nintendo already set the domino pieces up, I just feel like we never got to see them all come tumbling down. We were teased with possible ideas that the Cornerian army and General Pepper were morally grey and that Andross had good intentions mixed in with every totalitarian thing he did. Krystal even is the one to defend Andross in one scene in Command, which is fucking crazyyyyyyyy!!! but it doesn't GO ANYWHERE -tears hair out- But anyways, as you can see Fox X Krystal drives me insane. /pos There isn't really an ending I love or subscribe to the most from Star Fox Command. That game really just threw a lot of the fans for a loop with all the drama and "bad," not super fulfilling ends to beloved characters. Though, that being said, I lowkey like the Kursed/Krazoa arc for Krystal, I think it's like an interesting path for a character like her. Like yeah, turn this woman into a hardened butch bounty hunter!!!! why NOT!!! She'd get under his skin better than Wolf ever could!!! Plus, how often does a pairing go from friends-to-lovers-to-enemies-to-strangers?? Fox can't recognize the love of his life anymore because she's been fundamentally changed by the world HE introduced her to. Now they both gotta live with that with Sauria being nothing but a distant memory. It's tragic, it's messy, it can go in so many different directions and I just think these furries should yell at each other for my amusement. anyways that's all. :] i'm actually normal about them tee hee.

[pojofi96]

Finally 😈 a chance to talk about my mans

Short answer is yes obvi but like his character, my thoughts on this are a bit more complicated.

In the flashbacks we see showing his life “before”, he was shown to be an exemplary dad - but of course, this would inevitably change somewhat with being traumatized. Hanzo at his core is a flawed person and the very essence of his story lies in his humanity - most notably, his mistakes and circumstances - and how he copes with his own earned consequences + just straight up awful luck. This is inevitably going to reflect on how he tutors/raises children and MKX Blood Ties illustrates this well with his treatment of Takeda.

Throughout most of Takeda’s shown upbringing, Hanzo is shown to be in a tetchy mental state and it makes him prone to being overly harsh when scolding him for a minor mistake. You get the feeling Hanzo is purposely trying to keep him at a careful emotional distance as strictly “teacher and student”, even though it’s evident that their relationship is more through their own shared needs of familial bonds. It’s not abuse by any stretch of the imagination but the distinction between a “tutor” and a “father” is important to remember when examining their relationship. There’s a plentitude of potential reasons that Hanzo could have for acting like this given his past and what he lost, so you can’t truly blame this aspect of his character for being any fault of his own. Again, he is only a man making sense of the circumstances that were thrust upon him. But this inevitably would affect how he “raises” people.

The comic goes deeper into Hanzo’s mental state and how his hellfire works in the first place - and it’s here that we see something crucial. At it’s core, his utilization of it (i.e. how he has to relive the most traumatic event of his life every time he uses it to put himself in a bad headspace) is counterintuitive by design to his own growth and recovery. His strength, his most defining battle trait, is also what’s dragging him down. Objectively, Hanzo would have to let down his own personal guards (not use his hellfire) to keep from falling back into bad habits. But the current state of his life - strife with combat and the constant threat of sudden gorey death - doesn’t allow room for his emotional growth. On top of that he’s responsible for the well being of a kid, so he doesn’t have room to think about himself - he has to put Takeda first. But that also begs the question of if he had the chance to escape that life - would he? Does he have the capability to let down his hellfire when it’s because of his hellfire that he’s still even alive?

He’s not truly doomed but Hanzo believes to his core that he is and this is one of his biggest obstacles to his self recovery - this belief makes him lash out and self-sabotage - and it keeps him from really making any remarkable progress in getting better.

That being said, I was genuinely surprised to see the reactions for this tweet mostly being unconditionally positive on Hanzo’s side. What I’m trying to say is that Hanzo is far from perfect, he’s far from a perfect mentor and a perfect father. He’s still a good person at heart though - he does his best and Hanzo’s biggest flaw at the end of the day is the result of being human in hellish circumstances. It’s worth noting that Takeda in the end grew up to be an upstanding young man who feels very positively about his father-figure-mentor… so Hanzo did remarkably well overall, a lot better than most people could do in those same conditions. But all the replies being like “Anyone who says no deserves to be executed” feels like they’re missing something crucial about him. Him being attractive doesn’t absolve him of accountability!

In canon, he’s more accurate to the relative that we know has had a rough life that we all have complicated feelings about.

[jqmalikhsgib]

quest

ten

feeling someone try and climb into the bed woke you up. you looked down and smiled when you see your shy boy. laughing you look down before picking him up gently.

“hi, baby. what are you doing up so early?”

he just cuddles you before trying to grab his fathers hand. aaron grunts as he gently opens his eyes and smiles.

it had been a few weeks since your first appointment at marriage counseling. the two of you have become a little bit stronger. you were both still trying to navigate your relationship.

aaron’s been more attentive. he’s also taken time off. letting derek and dave handle everything unless he was extremely needed.

“good morning, theo. how’s my boy?”

“papa, sleepy?”

aaron chuckles. “not too sleepy for you. hungry baby?”

theo nods.

“ill go make breakfast.” you were about to get outta bed before aaron stops you. “ill make breakfast. you and the kids relax.”

“aaron—”

aaron shakes his head. he kissed you gently before getting out of bed and heading downstairs. currently you were packing. finding a house big enough for your family.

you and aaron had money, sure. with aaron growing up wealthy his father left him, his mother, and his brother quite a lot of money. aaron’s grandparents did the exact same. leaving them to never have to worry about anything.

you on the other hand had just come from money. receiving everything that your father left behind. including the house back in texas. but he also had homes all around the world, including a home near quantico.

it’s already been paid off and it has nine bedrooms. big enough for everyone to have there own room and possibly even have more children, which is something aaron needed to discuss with you in the near future.

once aaron finished making breakfast he ran upstairs and smiles when he sees you cuddled up to all your children. he loved having his family back together. even more so having three new children the two of you created together.

his family

though he thinks a lot about the woman that’s missing, haley. she should be here. alive and well. she would have loved theo, izzy, and roe. so much so she would have offered to take them along with jack even if they weren’t hers biologically.

not because she didn’t think you couldn’t handle it. but to give you a little break to yourself. she would have given you pointers and you would have taken them. the two of you would probably be closer than before. bonding over the love you have for the children in your lives.

haley loved you so much. you were a huge part of jack’s life. she loved how much you loved her son. in fact the day she died she told aaron to find you. to not let jack lose two moms.

“daddy!” isabella yelled when she spots her dad in the doorway.

the rest of his family looks at him lovingly. he climbs into bed and kisses his kids.

“good morning. breakfast is ready.”

jack was the first one downstairs. he was very hungry. you and aaron laugh as you grab the triplets and head downstairs.

you all enjoyed breakfast together. laughing and giggling. the day was starting off perfect. what you didn’t know was aaron had made plans for you two. he wanted to take you out without the kids.

normally when you go out the kids are around. but he had called both jessica and jj to come and take care of your four children. hoping jj was free the whole day so jessica didn’t have to take care of four children alone, though she had stated plenty of times that she was more than happy to and was more than capable. he just didn’t want to overwhelm her.

with jj having two kids, and one more on the way, he thought having her around to help would be great for jessica.

“jack?”

“yea dad?”

“could you take your siblings to the play room while mom and i clean this up?”

jack nods. he grabs his siblings as he heads the the play area.

“what was that about?”

aaron holds your hand.

“just—we don’t ever get any alone time.”

you scoff playfully. “we have four children, aaron. hard to get that.”

“i know. but if we’re gonna do this, restart everything, we should probably have more time to ourselves, don’t you think?”

“what do you suggest?”

aaron smiles. he kisses the top of your head before he continues to the dishes. you eye him suspiciously.

“what are you up to mister hotchner?”

aaron smirks. “it’s a surprise misses hotchner.”

no matter how many times you hear it your heart skips a beat. being called misses hotchner has always made you feel giddy.

“fine, don’t tell me.”

he chuckles while you help him finish up the dishes.

that night, after a grocery store run, without the kids because aaron insisted they stay with him while you have a little break, when you got home it was quiet.

it made you nervous. you hadn’t been use to the silence in so long.

“aaron?”

when you got no word from him you immediately locked the door and called him.

“hotchner?”

“aaron, where are you?”

“go upstairs.”

you frowned. heading upstairs you walked into your shared bedroom and seen the most beautiful silver dress you had ever seen. you runs your fingers over it.

“do you like it?”

“aaron! it’s beautiful.”

“you better get dressed, angel. we got a date tonight. just you and i.”

“what about the kids?”

“jessica and jj are watching them while i take my lovely wife out on a date she deserves. we got two years to make up for. im gonna make up for it in one night.”

you giggle. “okay, big boy. don’t get ahead of yourself.”

aaron just chuckles. “get dressed and meet me at our favorite spot. you still remember don’t you?”

“of course.”

“see you soon, misses hotchner.”

the line soon goes dead. you squeal like a teenager finally going on her first date with the guy she’s been crushing on for years before getting ready.

when you arrived at your favorite restaurant, the same one aaron proposed, you saw eyes on you. granted you looked like a movie star, you were still very shy.

when aaron sees you he couldn’t keep his eyes off. it was like your first date all over again.

“wow.”

“is it too much?”

aaron shakes his head. “absolutely not. you look breathtaking. everything about you is just—im one lucky man, huh?”

“im one lucky woman. look at you. the glasses are—”

“yeah? this doing it for you?” he laughs.

“absolutely.”

the two of you sit across from each other. aaron had already ordered a bottle of wine.

“i figured white wine would do. unless you want red, darling.”

you shook your head. “this is just fine. thank you.”

the two of you continue to have conversation. talking about the kids and the big move. aaron even discussed work. how a lot of cases were hard but others he took home with him. you listened intensely. once the two of you ordered he begins talking about the time you were gone.

it upset you at how much you missed. in aaron’s life and in jacks. but he kept letting you know that it was passed. the two of you should focus on the new beginnings of your lives and still be able to enjoy the stories you get to tell each other when being apart

when your food arrived you continued to catch up. it was like a new start. it felt good to talk to aaron again. not that you haven’t since being back. but it was always someone around. rather that be your therapist or your children. now you get alone time to just chat.

“how was the team? during everything?”

“they were tip-toying around me. trying to tread lightly. making sure i didn’t get upset or triggered.”

“im sorry you had to go through that. i should have—”

“hey, stop! remember.”

you hummed. “i know. just feel guilty.”

“well you shouldn’t. we both made mistakes. we talk about it every week. no need to talk about it here, with each other. we’re okay.” aaron smiles as he grabs your hand gently. he kisses the back of it to get you to smile gently.

aaron has always been affectionate. but recently it was different. though he kiss you on the cheek, forehead, behind your ear or hand the two of you never actually kissed each other on the mouth.

you weren’t in any rush. but you felt like he was hiding something. you weren’t a profiler but you knew your husband. you were giving him time to completely open up to you. hopefully he would eventually.

when you both hear his phone ring he frowns. he was still using his vacation time. when he sees it’s jj he panics a little.

“jj? are the kids okay?”

this made your heart beat. hoping that your children were safe. aaron’s usual scowl back in tune.

“yes, i understand. ill be right there.” he ended the call and sighs.

“im so sorry, yn. it’s a case involving a boy. he’s a little bit older than jack. i gotta—”

your heart broke just hearing that. you couldn’t imagine what the parents were going through. if something happened to jack or any of your babies you don’t think you’d be able to handle it.

“no, don’t apologize. go!”

“thank you.” he kisses the top of your head. he goes to pay the bill before you head out yourself. suddenly needing to just hug and kiss your babies.

sorry ive been gone for a little while. dealing with family drama kinda sucks the soul out of writing! but im back with a new part

yes i changed the title again. wasn’t really feeling like doing the whole song title anymore

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