#and honestly so much of the stuff i've grown to love as a result

[spiltcandycoatedpunkblood]

maybe there's sort of like a grimy look and feel to them that i get? it's more haunting, especially from a perspective of now. i'm sad about a lot of things that happened years ago to me. i guess it's kinda soothing??

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA for not helping my brother unlearn some hate?

I (16F) and my brother (9M, let's call him K) are both from a third world country with some less-than-friendly general views, most of which my parents agree with. I couldn't care less if my mom is vividly disgusted at Chinese/Korean products/music or if she wholeheartedly believes that having crushes on your female friends is "normal" and "not homosexuality", because she's a really kind and sweet person and I just love her, you know? She never voices these thoughts around people who are that way and even has Chinese friends herself, but once I ask her "what do you think your friends would feel if they knew you said things like that sometimes?" to which her response was basically "it's not like I'll ever say it to their face, that's rude, and I don't think they're any less humans than us, their country taking over the industrial world and music is just disgusting". Or she immediately demands the channel be changed if the tv is showing an LGBT couple (this is illegal in our country, we connect to foreign satellites which don't censor this).

Anyway. Sorry for the ramble. This leads me to two problems:

My brother is kinda short and skinny due to genetics. And when I say "kinda", I mean like, he's really, really small and tiny for his age and often gets mistaken for a preschooler or first grader. My mother worries over the fact that the boys at his school (since we're all being raised in the same toxic society, huzzah) bully him for being smaller than them. And K has a tendency to easily cry at insults, furthering this issue. I've talked to him several times on how he'll get a growth spurt and it's fine, but my mom's talks mainly consist of how he's a grown boy now and it's not nice for boys his age to cry in public like that. She also doesn't really like me getting "involved" in K's bullying issues. Please, PLEASE don't send any hate to my mom, okay guys? She's one of the best people I know.

The other issue here is that K technically IS growing up, but he's also learning some of the really uncomfortable aspects of this society by repeating things like "the referee for this soccer game probably let the other team win because he's Chinese" (to which I had to correct him and say the referee was actually Filipino, but never mind) or asking me with GENUINE curiosity if I, as a girl, play soccer at my school (he loves soccer so so much, I try to encourage this love for him).

I correct him on this stuff as much as I can, but honestly... sometimes I just don't. Sure, I think it's bad and all, but I (probably, I don't remember much) grew up being the same way considering the way our society is. And if I turned out nice enough, I'm sure he just needs to be the right age for some more technical guidance and all I can do here is randomly tell him he's wrong when he says this stuff. My mom just... she thinks it's a huge stretch to "call everything racism nowadays", which I think REALLY depends on the context! My brother says this stuff very, very rarely, but I don't think he really... gets /why/ it's bad, you know? Again, I'm mostly planning on giving him advice on occasion and letting him figure it out by himself, but I don't want him saying racist/antisemitic/sexist jokes by accident in public, less so because it might humiliate the family and more so because it might actually upset someone.

Again, WIBTA? Don't call my mom the asshole here, please. She's super extremely polite to everyone, calls for action against our dictatorship of a government, and gives medical care to her less financially stable patients for free (she's a doctor). She just has some little views here and there that are the result of her upbringing, same as ours are the result of what we experienced. I can wholeheartedly forgive her for that.

[weirdkpopgirl]

Breakdowns | Dream Reaction #8

Reaction: When their gf has a mental breakdown

Genre: Angst, slight fluff

Warnings: mentions of mental breakdowns, anxiety, and other mental health stuff

Word Count: 2636k

Author's Note: I know I've written scenarios similar to this. But someone on my most recent post for Jeno left a comment saying I should make an imagine version. So I thought decided to just try it. Because who doesn't love mental breakdowns? On the serious side, I really hope you have someone in your life who is there for you during hard times. Thank you for reading ^ - ^

~ ~ ~

MARK

Mark and you were different but similar at the same time. You tend to approach things with logic and pessimism. On the other hand, he was more optimistic and expressive with his thoughts. But you were similar in the sense that you were both workaholics. Sometimes you chastised him about overworking. But deep down, you knew you were a hypocrite because you did the same thing. 

Lately, you’ve been having trouble balancing college and your part-time job at a bakery. There’s been drama with the upper management. As a result, people were getting frustrated and quitting. Your boss was also asking you to do things that were beyond your pay grade.

Since you were young, you formed this habit of letting stress pile up. Which obviously wasn’t healthy, but you’ve grown used to it. When the load got too heavy, an explosion was quick to follow.

Mark witnessed this for the first time when you came home from another late night. He had let himself into your apartment after his schedule for the day. When he heard the front door being unlocked, he quickly greeted you.

“Hey Babe, how was work?” 

You stared at your boyfriend momentarily, too tired to respond to his question. So you walked into his embrace. Your nose pressed against his gray hoodie, as your arms circled his waist to hug him. 

Mark was a little taken aback because you rarely initiated affection. He became more concerned when he felt something wet on his hoodie. That was when he realized you were…crying.

“(Y/n)?”

You didn’t respond and let the tears fall. Your body slowly started to tremble. Nothing particularly awful happened to make you cry. Things just got to be too much, and you didn’t have the strength to hold yourself together anymore.

Luckily, Mark reacted quickly. Honestly, he was a little scared because he’s never seen you like this before. But he hugged you tightly, deciding that was what you needed right now. 

Moments later, you pulled away and looked up at him with red eyes and wet cheeks. Your eyes widened in panic at the tear stains you left on his shirt.

“I-I’m so sorry,” You cursed, still a little shaky. “I didn’t mean to—”

He cut you off by taking your hand. “That’s not what I’m worried about.”

After helping you clean up, he brought you to your bedroom to lie down. There, he got you to talk about what’s been bothering you.  His arms wrapped securely around your waist.

“Don’t feel like you have to keep in all that, okay?” He said later. “I know I get busy, but you’re important to me. I don’t want you struggling on your own.”

“Thank you…and I’m sorry again,” You mumbled, playing with his fingers.

He responded with a kiss on the crown of your head. “Don’t be. I love you, (Y/n)-ah.”

You closed your eyes and snuggled further into his chest, before whispering you loved him back. On a terrible day like the one you had, Mark’s embrace was the place you needed to be.

✎__________________________________________________________

RENJUN

Renjun knew about your tendency to overthink and how your head got to you sometimes. He could tell if you were having a bad day by the slightest change in your tone. Sometimes you didn’t want to talk about it, and he respected that. But he made sure you knew that he was always there when you needed him.

One day he found you on the floor, shaking with long, racking sobs. This wasn’t the first time Renjun has seen you break down like this. And it still broke his heart every time. 

He’d cautiously go over to kneel in front of you. You slowly lifted your head when he placed his hands on your shoulders. He was giving you the most gentle look, and the waterworks started again.

“R-Renjun…”

“(Y/n)-ah, I need you to breathe for me, okay?”

You nodded shakily and let him guide you into taking several deep breaths. Once you had calmed down a bit, Renjun brought you into his arms. 

Renjun and you weren’t the most affectionate couple. But it was during those moments that you found yourself seeking his touch the most. And if comfort was what you needed, Renjun had no problem showing how deeply he loved you.

✎__________________________________________________________

JENO

The first thing Jeno did after getting back from Japan was see you. Barely a week had passed since you last saw each other, excluding the late-night video calls in between. But being the clingy boy he was, that time away was too long for Jeno.

Honestly, you were happy to see him too. He came to your place, where you prepared home-cooked food for him. So Jeno had a nice time catching up and giving you all the kisses he missed.

In the middle of him telling you a behind-the-scenes story, your phone screen lit up with a text notification. You side glanced over to see the message and flipped the device over. Jeno caught the slight frustration in your expression.

“Is everything okay?” He asked.

You forced a smile on your face and nodded. “Just stuff with my mom. It’s fine though, I’m fine.”

Jeno knew you were lying because you always used that response in these situations. Regardless, he chose to not ask any further questions, with the hope that you’d come to him eventually.

When it got late, you suggested he just stay over for the night. You partially asked out of selfishness. Lately, you haven’t been sleeping well and thought you’d have an easier time if Jeno was there. You didn’t tell him this, but he happily took up your offer.

Jeno fell asleep long before you did. He was probably exhausted from the three-day concert and traveling. You, on the other hand, could not sleep for the life of you. Instead, you ended up getting drowned in your thoughts. You hated it, how every dark thought you had seemed to creep up on you at night. 

Despite being a heavy sleeper, Jeno was awakened when he heard soft whimpering. He slowly opened his eyes to see your back facing him on the other side of the bed. He could tell you were trying not to wake him.

“(Y/n)? What’s wrong?” He asked groggily.

You pressed your arm against your eyes and wailed, “I’m such a bad daughter.”

Jeno didn’t need to ask any questions to know what you were talking about. He knew about the immense guilt you put on yourself for the current relationship with your mother. Even though you acted otherwise, he knew she had hurt you a lot over the years.

“No you’re not,” He said affirmatively, squeezing you tighter. “Your mom just doesn’t realize how blessed she is to have you in her life.”

Jeno’s words only made you cry harder. But he held you the entire time. He wouldn’t go back to sleep until he was sure you were okay. 

“I’m sorry for keeping you up,” You said later, sniffling.

“Don’t apologize,” he said.

“Sorry.”

He lifted his head and gave you a look. “(Y/n).”

Your mouth opened to apologize again but quickly closed. Jeno chuckled and pulled you in closer so that your head would rest on his chest. The sound of his steady heartbeat calmed you. Jeno would probably persuade you to talk some more in the morning. But for now, you were content with sleeping in his arms.

✎__________________________________________________________

HAECHAN

Early in your relationship, Haechan was positive you were the one for him. He loved how you encouraged him to follow his dreams, and supported him in the hard times. You made him a better person. He loved you so much that it was overwhelming. And whenever you were hurting, he hurt as well.

As time passed, Haechan began to notice a pattern with you. Any negative emotion you experienced was bottled up inside and kept hidden away. Until something or someone pushed you to your limits.

Usually, Haechan was with you when that happened. He’d scoop you into his arms and do his best to calm you down. While he didn’t mind giving you all the love in the world, his physical comfort could only do so much for you.

The following day you’d act like you didn’t spend the previous night crying your eyes out. And the cycle started again. Despite the number of times, Haechan witnessed the effects of holding everything in, you never did anything about it. 

After another breakdown, Haechan sat down with you on the couch and decided to confront this issue. He used his thumb to wipe a stray tear off our cheek.

He hesitated before bringing your hand in his. “Jagiya, this isn’t healthy. You know that, right?”

You met his sad brown eyes. By the soft way he was speaking and the genuine concern in his eyes, you knew that he was being serious. You glanced down at your hands and mumbled a barely audible, “I know.”

His opposite hand reached to brush a loose strand of hair behind your ear. He was always so gentle and caring with his touch. 

“Do you want to go see a counselor or therapist?” He asked cautiously. 

Haechan’s suggestion set off an internal conflict in your brain. In the past, seeing a professional had crossed your mind. Clearly, you did a poor job of handling your mental health. But the thought of actually addressing this problem terrified you.

Seeming to have read your mind, Haechan then added, “I know it sounds scary. But I think talking to someone can really help. At least give it a chance?”

You didn’t say anything for two or three minutes. The anxious part of you wanted to just hide away like you always did. But if Haechan was so willing to help you get better, maybe you should try it for his sake.

“Will you be there with me?” You then asked, still hesitant. He smiled at your question.

“Of course,” He said, squeezing your hand. “We’re in this together.”

Haechan leaned over to place a peck on your lips, before returning to your previous cuddling position. At that moment, you knew that Haechan truly loved you. And you truly loved him back.

✎__________________________________________________________

JAEMIN

Jaemin knew you were having a hard time because of your parent’s divorce. On the outside, you pretended as if you weren’t that bothered. You kept brushing the topic off, saying that you saw it coming years ago. But Jaemin saw right through you.

One night after he came back from a schedule, he caught you having a breakdown. You had your knees curled up to your chest. Your hands soaked with tears as they pressed harshly against your eyes. Seeing you like that broke his heart.

You’d slowly lift your head when you felt him sink on the sofa cushion beside you. Immediately, you panicked because you didn’t intend for him to see you in this state.

“Jaemin I—” 

But he shushed you and engulfed you in the biggest hug on earth. 

“Just let it out, Jagiya. I’m here now, it’s okay.”

His words pulled a trigger, and then you were crying your heart out. Jaemin could feel all the frustration and grief you’ve been holding in. He stayed the whole time, gently rocking you back and forth, and pressing a dozen kisses into your hair. He also made sure to remind you that you weren’t weak for crying. 

Being in Jaemin’s arms made you feel like he was the only person in the world you could be your true self around. You seriously didn’t know what you’d do without him.

✎__________________________________________________________

CHENLE

Ever since you were young, you’ve been an overachiever. Back then, your parents’ approval was what drove you to get good grades. But after entering college—with the absence of parents, you were finally in control of your life. However, you still carried the mindset of having to excel at everything, no matter what.

So far, things were going pretty smoothly. You were able to handle all your classes just fine. All except for calculus. Math wasn’t your weakest subject, but it wasn’t your strongest either. Sometimes it takes longer for you to understand certain concepts. By the time it came for assessments, you were usually fine.

Unfortunately, you were not having the same experience this year. No matter how many notes you took during class, or how much time you spent outside of class studying, it never seemed enough.

The high-stress levels from this class were slowly breaking you down. So much so, that you kind of forgot you had a boyfriend. You seldom missed Chenle’s text messages and replied right away. He figured you were just busy. But he got worried when three days passed, and there was still no response from you.

So he visited your apartment one evening to make sure everything was okay. He punched in the passcode to your door lock and let himself in. All the lights were turned off in the living room. The kitchen was the same. Only when he entered your bedroom did he see you, mercilessly gripping your hair as tears rolled down your face.

He rushed to your side and pulled your hands off your head. “(Y/n), what’s wrong?!”

“I’m so stupid!” You cried, hitting your fist on the desk. Chenle glanced at the crumpled test paper on your desk.

“One low test score doesn’t mean you’re stupid, (Y/n)-ah,” He spoke softly, rubbing your back. “It’s just one grade. You’ll bring it up in no time.”

You shook your head. “I’ve been studying so hard, but I still don’t understand it.”

“And you probably haven’t eaten or slept, right?” Chenle responded, standing up. 

And that was how you spent the rest of the afternoon being pampered by your boyfriend. He insisted that you take a break and wouldn’t let you go anywhere near your schoolwork. After getting you to eat, you guys would cuddle on the couch.

“Wow, your eyes are red,” He muttered, caressing your cheek with his thumb. You pulled his hand away with a glare. 

“Shut up.”

He laughed and pressed a quick kiss to your forehead. “No, you look cute though!”

✎__________________________________________________________

JISUNG

In Jisung’s mind, you were so strong. Knowing all that you’ve been through, he admired the way you walked out of it as a mature, loving person. But he was also aware of the scars life had left on you.

Remember those late-night talks that have been mentioned several times in previous Jisung scenarios? It was in those rare moments when the two of you were alone, that you’d open up to Jisung. The two of you would sit on the couch with one blanket covering your lap. 

It was kind of an introvert thing for you, going so long without having a real conversation with someone. Then when you finally got the chance, everything sort of just spilled out. For you, Jisung was your safe place. You felt like you could tell him anything, and he would never judge you.

Sometimes you didn’t realize how much you held in until you guys talked. Then the emotions would sort of hit, and you’d break down. But Jisung would be right there to hug you tightly.

After a while, Jisung pulled away slightly and cupped your face in his hands. He caught the last few tears with his thumbs. Though you often talked about everything you hated about yourself, he couldn’t see any of it. When Jisung looked at you, he just saw beauty.

“I love you, (Y/n),” He said, knowing he didn’t say it enough. 

And that simple reminder was enough to get you through whatever storm you were in. 

✎__________________________________________________________

[ectoplasmic-entity]

Your oneshot with kid!reader got me thinking- what are your headcannons for Dan as a father/ father-figure and with or without a partner to aid him in rearing a child?

I like to think that thanks to the Vlad in him he would LOVE to have children but I don’t think he’d be the best dad- like, he’d only ever act towards his child with good intentions but that doesn’t mean his intentions are good for them. He’s not exactly the best role model either.

I've played around with the idea of Dan being a parent with some DP next gen stuff, it's changed a bit here and there over the years bc I'm honestly not entirely sure how Dan would act as a parental figure.

But, considering that he lost his family, that part of him that hurts the most would probably be elated of having a family of his own. He'd definitely be involved, but he probably won't be the most paternal and treats his child more like a sibling. Another factor is the child's personality, I'd think if his child takes more after him, he'll gravitate more towards them. If their personalities don't mesh he won't connect as much to them. This is more apparent if he has more than one child.

One thing he's determined to do is make sure his kid(s) know how to take care of themselves, especially if the world's going to throw shade at them for being his offspring. Dan would be protective of his kid(s), not exactly in a possessive way, but it would be unwise to threaten them if he's in the closest proximity. One funny thing I like to do with next gens for Dan is have at least one of his kids be drawn to him no matter what, he's not too keen on it but lets it be bc that's his kid.

In the future, when the kid(s) are grown, chances are they might resent Dan for being their father. This is highly dependent on whether the other parent is involved or not. If the other parent is involved, the kid(s) will see two different people and will come to their own judgement based on those interactions. If it's just Dan, his child may be more biased towards him.

So, Dan can be more or less a parent, maybe not the best. He does what he thinks best, which... generates somewhat mixed results.

I do have a few finished pieces of my next gen ocs if ya want to see them.

[crazylittlejester]

I have some food (oranges🍊🍊🍊) for thought - which people in the chain are blood-related, other than Time and Twilight?

Time and Twilight are the only Canon blood relations in LU, but maybe there are others? Personally, I'm don't think EVERYONE is related, some I see as Found Family, like the downfall duo, but I have cases to make (but if you or anyone thinks otherwise, you do you!)

Sky and Legend are 100% related, Hylia told me herself back when I found the triforce, and I believe it wholeheartedly🫶🫶🫶.

I know that the original line in ALTTP didn't mean to imply Legend and Fable are siblings and was the result of wonky translation from Japanese. Honestly, it took me a while, but I've grown to really love Prince Legend - I think this headcanon gives Legend's character a lot of depth. Imagine being hunted by the knights who are meant to PROTECT you, as you are the prince of Hyrule.

Sky is definitely the father of the entire royal line of Hyrule, it's made veryyy obvious in Skyward Sword. That makes him related to literally every single Zelda everrrrr he's like every princess's grand grand grand grandpa lol😂.

By proxy Legend is Sky's descendant. Sorry, I don't make the rules💁‍♀️

And to me they're kinda similar in some stuff: both carry the Fi as their chosen blade, enhanced/tempered the master sword, are total softies (🐇 Legend is proof), they love playing music, they saved goddesses/oracles in their quests, and they are both total gremlins lmao.

Their dynamic has a lot of unused potential- back when Leg got turned into Mr. Fluffy Pinky Bunny Sky was practically the only one allowed to see him when he was weak and at a disadvantage. Sky understands Legend- he sees past the facade right at the beginning, he knows Legend has a truly kind heart. They are family, your honor 🥹🥹

So, Sky and Legend being related - yay or nay for you?

P.s. I will probably send the next part tomorrow. This has grown too long loll

I do really like this theory/headcanon!! It’s got so much angst potential, plus I love the idea of Legend being a prince it’s so funny aldkdkkd

i like my family found, so i don’t really headcanon a lot of em are connected, but i do like that one alskdksk :)

[not-poignant]

Hi Pia !! I just saw your retweet about letting authors know when you like their work, and I've been thinking about sending you an ask anyway so hereby I shall do both!!! First of all I want to tell you that I'm currently rereading Game Theory. A friend of mine told me about a fantasy world he created in his head and then let me rant to him about how much I love and adore Fae Tales, which then got me back into rereading it. While rereading, I got the notification that you're editing GT. That's so cool!!! My question for you, if you want to answer, is how does it feel to go back to GT after all this time? Besides the question I just wanted to let you know that I REALLY REALLY REALLY love GT and Fae Tales in general. Thank you so so so much for writing it. Its a huge comfort to me <3 I love you!!

is how does it feel to go back to GT after all this time?

Omg anon it's SO WEIRD

It's like getting into a time capsule.

So first up, I haven't reread Game Theory in its entirety for a few years because I find it kind of painful, a few things are out of character, and I know there's a lot of stuff to change to make it better suited as an original story and introduction to the world, and so when I start rereading it I see all the work I have to do and can't just immerse.

And that's been so annoying on a personal level, because I really believe in writing stuff you love - and for a long time I did!!

Going back to it I've found that:

Baby Pia didn't use the word 'cock' as often as I use it now. Which is kind of cute. I think I was still getting comfortable with writing explicit sex, or...something?

It's still better than I remember it. Like, as a follow on from SAL it's solid. I like the dialogue, and I like the 'feel.' I have no interest in changing that and in many ways I'm trying to remove as little as possible. I'm tightening prose/sentences, and being additive. I do know there's at least one scene I will have to remove (like Gwyn masturbating) because it's OOC and I will try and make that up to people somehow.

I really want more...background in the story. Not infodumps, but like...Gwyn actually fighting a fae driven mad because it was poisoned because of Augus' actions. Or Gwyn talking with his family. Gwyn talking to the trows!!! I'm so excited to add these sorts of scenes, things that are fleshed out and hinted at more in COFT and TIP, that I can make really robust now in GT as well. Things that I think will really strengthen the story, but also make it more captivating, and perhaps also make Gwyn more...understandable as a character. He's an extremely cold character to love if you haven't read SAL first.

I actually kind of get frustrated with how long the chapters are. I remember why I made them so long, and it was because I felt so terribly ashamed of how long the story was! So I 'hid' how long it was by condensing the number of chapters down and putting things that really deserved their own chapters into the same chapter and as a result, wrote shortcuts and really squished things that deserved more time and writing. I'm not angry at past me, I was genuinely frightened that people would hate the story if they saw a really big chapter count. And it's taken me a long time to let go of that. I know some people really like long chapters, and I think when it's appropriate it works so well, especially single sex scenes, but like...oof there are some chapters where it's like 'damn Pia you really were just trying to tell this in less than 45 chapters weren't you.'

While some folks say 'I can see how much you've grown as a writer' there's still some stuff I did better then than now. I think there's something to be said for having a long break there. Although I can also see some of my weaknesses a lot more clearly, because they're things I've like mended since then, or have been actively working on.

It's honestly been pretty fun. It's really important to me to preserve the integrity of the original story, because that's the story that got me here, and it reached people for a reason. Even if I'd write it differently now, I want to keep the basic essence of it the same. Ideally it just feels like reading 'Game Theory with some extra scenes' and all the other stuff blends into the background naturally, and doesn't feel jarring or strange.

It makes me so happy that you love Game Theory! Honestly it's folks like yourself letting me know things like this, and letting me know that you'd love to have it as a book one day, which has kept this as a dream in my head for a decade, and while I may be the world's slowest editor, the fact that this could actually come to fruition in 2024 is wild to me. Apparently it just takes me a really long time to commit to something lmao

[notetaeker]

Goodbye 2022

@peregrination-studies thank u for the tag! I love love planning and reflecting on the year so this was such a fun tag for me to do

What are things you've grown to like this year?

The process honestly. I've always been impatient when it comes to seeing results but over this year I started to appreciate the process of things? I've always been the type to start a project and then work on this project for 3 days until I'm done and by then I'd get so tired of it or be unsatisfied with the result because it doesn't reflect my tireless 3 days worth of work. But nowadays I start projects, put them away, continue it later, and it's been so enjoyable. I take time to fix any small things I would have ignored in the interest of time, start over if necessary. Just you know, processing it slowly. Instead of rushing toward the result, the experience of whatever it is- is the most important. It's still a work in progress but i think this is one of the things that surprised me the most in myself - the fact that I'm even able to do it. Other things I've grown to like: autumn lol and maybe even winter just a teensy bit.

What are things you've learned this year? Oof a lot of things actually. I think I'll make a list from my journal - Every morning I get to decide how to live my life / what I prioritize - Allah will open doors for you from placed you couldn't imagine - But you have to put in some effort and show you're trying - Living is much easier when you accept it instead of fighting it -Surely as the evening comes after a scorching hot day, so too will respite from whatever you're struggling with, it is the law of the world (the mercy of Allah) and all that was only until June asdlkj let me not make this too long lol maybe I'll make a post on stuff I learned this year

What works did you enjoy this year, be it films, books or other art? Books: The Secret Garden, Born a Crime Movies/Anime: Spy x Family, Julie and Julia, Also I watched all the spiderman movies on some random week like a crazy person Other art: sarah burns studio on youtube and her seascape watercolor paintings. They're so simple but also really beautiful

Is there something you're still looking forward to this year? There's only 2 days left! I was looking forward to buying yarn and I got it yesterday, so excited abt that. I'm hoping to go the beach today or tomorrow and see (sea) the ocean so :') excited for that if it happens (its so cold tho who knows). OH ALSO i wanted to bake cookies for my students for the first day of classes back from break and might make those early so that too ! :D

What would you like to see happening next year? SO MUCH omg - 1. Improve my arabic: I enrolled in an Arabic class because I've literally forgotten so many things so excited abt that. I also signed up for some other islamic studies classes b/c there was a discount so hopefully those are fun too! 2. take more notes !!! I keep reading / listening to such good stuff and telling myself I'll write it down when I have more time later and never doing it D: so next year hopefully I fill up a notebook or smth with those 3. Hopefully get comfortable with traveling / visiting places and then do exactly that 4. D: waiting on the result of my interview for a 2023 internship 5. turn some good deed into an unconscious daily practice. Rn I'm thinking sunnah prayers, because I've kind of dropped off from regularly doing them in the last year :( 6. ART. MORE REGULARLY. like i was doing this year :') im pretty pleased with the amt of art i did this year alhamdulillah

Tagging: @wayfaringmuslimah, @gushuwa, @wecandoit, @frenchiepal @humble-boness, @ckmstudies, @juliistudies, @heliops, @museeofmoon, @iwillsurvivecollege, @learnelle, @caffeinatediaries, @caramelcuppaccino

[princess-ibri]

Honestly, I love lore and I love hearing about your DisneyVerse so anything you are willing to share would be great

Awwww thank you so much! I love sharing it :)

Here, I'll share a little about the Multiverse of the DisneyVerse as I've formatted it xD

The best way to think of it is to picture the Realm of Magic as like, a sea full of water, with the magic being the water and each realm an islsnd floating in it. Each realm is it's own universe by right but it's also part of the larger Multiverse (very Woods Between the Worlds-y but with an Ocean)

(So when Sofia in Sofia the First is flying around seeing the Mystic Isles what she's really seeing is portals into different realms/things that can access those realms)

The two main worlds are Our World (the Disney-fied) verision at least) which basicaly follows our rules of reality and history but has some magic that leaks into it from the realms, and the Everrealm, where all of the Disney Princess movies that don't have an explicit Our World setting (ala Mulan, Hercules, PatF, BatB and Brave) take place.

There are places that link the two, where the borders between them have grown thin and things can leak through into one or the other. Maldonia and Arendelle and Belle's provence in France for example. They all sit on the border of both world (in a wibbly wobbly sort of way) and eventually may get pulled into the Everrealm proper as time passes on.

Then there are are several pocket dimensions that sort of float between those two major realms, brushing up against both of them. Places like Elvenhome, The Spirit World(s), the Plane of the Genies, Wonderland, Giantland, Oz, and Neverland to name a few.

Neverland particular is part of a fairly large sort of leak between Our World and the Everrealm that has resulted in the NeverSea, a nebulous place that houses the Neverland Archipelago, of which Neverland itself is the biggest island, and is directly linked to the portal of the Second Star to the Right. One can get to both Our World and the Everrealm from Neverland.

And besides these theres also a couple other worlds, such as the Anthropomorphic world that Robin Hood, Chicken Little and Zootopia all take place in, and the other Anthropomorphic world that Ducktales, GoofTroop and Mickey Mouse take place in xD

(Did a Mickey Mouse ancestor from said world get summoned into the Everrealm to serve as the apprentice to the Sorcerer Yen Sid? Maaayyybeeee?)

(And House of Mouse, Kingdoms Hearts and the Nightmare Before Christmas worlds are all their own delightful things that i'm not going to touch the fictional metaphysics of with a ten foot poll xD )

So yeah, there's some more DisneyVerse stuff for you, probably more then you wanted but what the heck xD

[plutobutartsy]

You Mentioned OCs. (np)

oh di i'm so excited you asked about them i'm actually jumping up and down rn bc like,,, i've had these two for YEARS, i rotate them in my mind every single day and with all the media i consume i always think ok but what if the protagonists were ACTUALLY my ocs like i'm so mentally ill about them

their names are Briar and Evelyn (Evie for short) and they're both so silly and so disgustingly in love, think vincent and lovely but ten times worse

also this got like REALLY long so don't feel obligated to read it all lol

let's start with my boy Briar

his name frequently gets mistaken for Brian and it makes him so irrationally angry lol

he's a born vampire! so no old man activities this boy is like 17 as of now

he's the one who knows how to cook! he makes food for others as a love language

also fun fact there's like an actual vampire cuisine in this universe so vampires can consume food that's not just blood and still get nutritional value out of it

his family are part of the older vampire generation technically? what i mean is his family have been vampires for a few centuries now so they're kinda rich and well known

that said, his parents are for sure around 80-100 but him and his sisters are young!

as i've said he's only around 17 and he's the youngest out of his siblings

he has 3 older sisters (20ish, 24 and 28) and they're all very protective of him because omg!!!! that's their baby brother!!!

sometimes too protective to the point where they underestimate him and make him feel bad,,, woops!

he still really looks up to them and puts them on a bit of a pedestal, making him an overachieving perfectionist while he strives to get to what he assumes is their level

spoiler alert this results in a lot of angst and him not feeling good enough despite his parents and sisters never really pressureing him to do anything

he definitely tries to hide his insecurity by overcompensating and acting more arrogant than he is but his friends can read him like a book lol

"i had this leftover because i made too much on accident, eat it so i don't feel bad about being wasteful. honestly you should feel honored to be allowed to taste my cooking" translation: "you seemed stressed so i made you your favourite meal but please don't bring it up or i'll die. hope you like it ^-^"

terrified of bugs which is unfortunate since his 3rd sister loves them and keeps them as pets

when i said overachiever i meant it. student body president. excels in most sports. top grades.

he has to be perfect or he will literally die (real) (not fake)

oh he's also scared of dogs and he's very pathetic about it. i'm talking he sees a tiny puppy and he crosses to the other side of the street.

works at a convenience store because he doesn't want to end up being a spoilt rich brat stereotype lol the old ladies at check out love him because he always offers to carry their bags to their car for them

tries to act all serious and grown up when he's around his sisters to impress them but it's a lost cause

he's a complete sweetheart please tell him he's doing a good job and watch trashy dramas and reality tv with him

okie Evie time :3

she's a witch!! wohoo magic

she has like a billion siblings

jk just 5 but still

all of them are adopted and a different magical being (for example her older brother is a werewolf) simply because i think it's funny

listen hear me out: her dad is like fucking bruce wayne, adopting kids left and right, but he's just a regular schmegular human so i think it's hilarious that he adopts a new kid and he's all like "oh great they're just human phew no stress for me"

just to find out that no, this child is in fact NOT human, and on top of that they're an entirely different species than the rest of his kids so he has to learn about their specific needs and quirks and whatnot all over again

listen it's hilarious

okay anyways

evie stress bakes!! so she always has new stuff to give to others because WOW girl you're stressed beyond measure

brought 5 loafes of bread to school once to give to her friends. "thanks but you already gave me 2 yesterday my family really can't eat all of that :(" "girl PLEASE you have to help me i have 12 more at home and my dad is fucking PISSED he told me to get rid of them immediately."

if Briar needs to be perfect or else he will die, then Evelyn needs everyone to like her or she will die

she's honestly a bit of a pushover because of that but she's working on it and has made great progress (therapy queen)

fashion lover and lover of cute things

her outfits look like a claire's threw up on her

her magic manifested when she was like 5 when she got into a fight with her brother and she just. launched his ass into the sky lol

that accident broke his leg and made her resent her powers for a bit

like she wanted nothing to do with them and straight up refused to go to a school where she would learn about them. her dad was so worried because suppressing magic longterm makes you actually sick

that is until a friend of her dad explained to her that learning to control her powers would help her prevent any more accidents

that friend is called Makena and we love her! she's a witch as well and ended up giving Evie private lessons and also helped Evie's dad with learning about magic and how to care for non-human kids

at first Evelyn rly sucked at magic like REALLY sucked at magic and she was like, are you serious this is ASS

but she was just a slow learner and is really good now :)

works at Makena's cafe in an effort to help with her social skills

i have drawings of these two somewhere but it's been a while so i can't fund them 😭

[iztopher]

sits coquettishly. bats eyelashes. i'm not going to say answer every question this time because i respect that you have many others thing to do over answering 48 questions in a row, and thus: 5, 12, 15, 24, 36, 42, 50!

EHEHE THANK U BOTH FOR UR MERCY AND UR ENTHUSIASM

5. What do you wish someone would ask you about [insert fic]? Answer it now! (don't you dare go down)

"Hey, Iz, you frequently list don't you dare go down as your favorite fic you've written, even though it's years old at this point. Why?"

I'm really proud of this fic for several reasons: I overall still really like the writing, people consistently compliment my favorite lines on it so it makes me confident I got across what I wanted to say, it covers some of my favorite te'ijalahad concepts.

I love this fic because, more than any fic I've written, it's essentially distilled headcanons. I knew, for years, that I wanted to write a fic about Te'ijal patching up Galahad after the fight where he got the scar across his eye, and a fic about Galahad reflecting on Te'ijal after the tower scene. I came up with the idea of Te'ijal getting scarred from the tower scene and realized I had the opportunity to put it in a fic. I kept thinking up ideas about Te'ijal helping Galahad with his injuries, and then about him always wearing armor and how that reflects on his (dis)comfort with her. I love the genre of te'ijalahad fic that's understated improvement in their relationship simply through the contrast of how it used to be and how it is now. And I got to include all of that in this fic!! I love it, and it means that people reading it are essentially listening to me ramble about a lot of my favorite ideas for my favorite characters.

12. Are there any tropes you used to dislike but have grown on you?

I answered meta already - but I'm blanking on others, honestly. I feel like trope-wise my tastes have narrowed, but more generally they've broadened and I like reading about more characters/ships/headcanons than I used to.

15. What’s your favorite AU that you’ve written?

"AU" is a hard genre for this question actually. If we mean strictly alternative universe, I've only ever written one, which wins by default: left undead.

If we expand it to "canon divergence", then my favorite AU I've written is one I never cleaned up or, uh, finished well enough to post, called only "stella kills gyendal AU". I don't think I'll ever end up finishing it, but mostly because I think I'm going to end up mixing it into my TDP rewrite!

24. Are there any easter eggs in [insert fic], and if so, what are they? (now we're two of a crime)

okay this does not have any easter eggs but while rereading it to confirm that i jumpscared myself with myst referring to banana boy, so i guess it's a reverse easter egg LMAO

36. Do you visualize what you read/write?

I genuinely have no idea how to answer this question. I think I do, but my visualization is so clipped and vague that calling it that doesn't feel fully accurate. I have to make a point to visualize when I'm writing, but I do make that point a lot.

42. Have you ever received a comment that particularly stood out to you for whatever reason?

I've had comments on both ill-conceived and you try so loud to love me that feel too personal to repeat here, generally stuff where my fic really resonated with someone or made them rethink something, and that feeling is maybe the best feeling I've ever had as a result of writing.

50. Answer any question of your choice, or talk about anything you want to talk about!

i miss writing (sobs) i haven't had the time and/or brain energy for it since classes started back up! i also really want to finish the fic i'm currently working on, i started it like two years ago and i'm so ready for it to be done jksdfld but i'm just having so much trouble getting the tone right. i hope i can knock it out in the next month or so

[pepperf]

2022 has been, well, let's say a continuation of the pandemic years for me. I'm a little lacking in emotional resilience these days, and I'm dragging myself over the line with the hopes that next year will be kinder. But it hasn't all been bad. I've had some amazing times with friends and family, I paddled in the sea with my nephew, I finally saw @bethanyactually again after so fucking long, and I've learned a few things. So I thought I'd do the counting my blessings thing, and look back on the good things this year.

2022 was the year that I…

Wrote nearly 200k words. That's over 500 words a day. That is two full-length novels. And I finished and posted about 130k of it on AO3, which—look, I've not been tracking it this way before now so I don't have the stats, but it's DEFINITELY a higher rate of finishing than I've had before. And @wheresmytowel deserves all my thanks for, oh, so much of that. I'm gradually figuring out what works for me in terms of completing stories, and I'm really happy with my progress on that front.

Discovered that armpit hair is cute. I'm serious. Look, I've given up shaving before, but I don't think I've stuck to my guns for this long, well, ever. But this summer, after my last trip to the beach with the family, I decided, to hell with it. And now it's all grown past the spiky stubble stage, and the beard-on-someone-who-can't-really-grow-a-beard stage, and it's kind of luxuriant and…goddamn it, it's fluffy. It is cute. Why is it always seen as a Statement or an insult, something strident and unfeminine and unkempt, when long hair is otherwise seen as an ultra-feminine attribute? I love my fluffy little pits, and legs, and bits. It's possible I'll chicken out when summer comes around again—but until then, I'll get a fond little 'yay' moment, every time I see the kitten fluff under my arms.

Decided that I didn't want the career I've got. This is a difficult one, but it's been a long time coming. A large part of why I am where I am comes from me trying to live up to the (impossible) legacy of my mother, and…okay, yes, I am also a firm believer in the value of public sector work and everyone pitching in to make the country and the world a better place. But I've been doing something along those lines for nearly 20 years now, and I'm kind of burnt out, ngl. And I'm sad to say, I might be done with the NHS. I truly believe in it, and I am loyal through and through, but…it's an increasingly hard place to work, and I don't think I have the mental stamina for it any more. Maybe once I've stepped away, and regrouped for a few years, I will come back. But at the moment, it's a really bad place to be for my mental health, and as a result of that, I'm doing an increasingly poor job of things that I used to find easy. So, I just need to stop, really, for everyone's sake, and do something different.

Started painting again. Slowly and cautiously. I started to think about it in the summer, and took some reference photos of some stuff I might like to paint—then a few months after that I got my easel down from dad's attic and took stock of my paint and brushes—then I dragged out one of my old canvases that never got properly used—and a couple of months ago I ordered some new paint—and applied a base layer to wipe off a painting that was haunting me with bad memories—and then applied another base layer to start building it up into something new…and, yeah, that's where I'm at. But it's a start, and it's more painting than I've done in a very, very long time, and I'm…cautiously excited.

Put some other tentative stakes in the ground for things I might want to do—job stuff, writing stuff, house stuff…all too much to do all at once, and it probably won't all happen next year, because I don't think I could handle that, but at least it feels like I'm not stagnating. Even if I need to remind myself of that, sometimes.

Jesus, I sound fragile. I am fragile, honestly, my confidence is easily knocked, and I'm anxious about a lot of stuff, and I feel like I keep having to gently lead myself along like a 90yo with a broken hip, and I've got things in the new year that I'm dreading (particularly job hunting, god help us—but I'm on a temp contract at the moment, so I don't have a choice). But…I'm getting there.

Here's to 2023.

[yioh]

I'm south asian and it infuriates me that I actually like the sumeru characters 😭 I feel like I'm betraying my own identity and it genuinely pains me to think abt their designs for too long

Tighnari is the worst for me bc he became my favorite character in the whole game personality-of and I've grown to love his design because of it but???? I just feel so guilty for it bc I know it's just not. Correct???? And on top of that the english voice actors being told to pronounce the characters names wrong deliberately to make it easier is just so gross ughhhh. And I feel like I'm a bad person for continuing to play the game and indirectly supporting hyv's colorism as a result but I'm so attached to this game and these characters and im :'(((

omg bro don’t worry at all askdbdjdb ur absolutely allowed to enjoy the game, that’s exactly why we play it in the first place right🥺 like sure genshin gets a lot of stuff wrong but there’s also a lot that it does beautifully e.g. the entire world building in sumeru and the environment design is one of my favourites in the whole game !! for me, i just have lower tolerance and can’t stand hyv’s colourism as well as orientalism

but like… as long as you can acknowledge that the issues exists and don’t pretend like sumeru is just some cutesy exotic place (as i’ve seen a lot of people do 😭) it’s really honestly fine imo

like i agree that tighnari has a very interesting personality, also i’ve seen a lot of people complain abt his design but honestly i think the amazigh inspiration is one of the most obvious in the game and think it’s so wonderful that amazigh people get to be represented through such a cool character🥺 not to mention how much i myself learned abt all these cultures that are usually never talked about in other media, it’s really really cool !!! i also think his design in general is actually very pretty lol i really adore the mesh of colours and how it’s an obvious reference to amazigh clothing,

there’s really no correct and incorrect way to think about it because everything is so meshed together and weirdly structured, we can definitely agree that the colourism and orientalism is very much an issue (as seen with dori and nahida mostly), treating many brown cultures as interchangeable is also really annoying in general because of how much it already has been done in mainstream western media and the effect it already has is amplified, (abt the english translation i don’t even play in english because 💀 i never liked how they translated stuff in general to english tbh even before sumeru)

but at the same time, hyv brought light to so so many under represented cultures and stories, even the music !!! them using actual instruments we hear in our own music like the sitar is so amazing !!!!

don’t feel bad at all for enjoying the game, i always play it to destress and will continue in the future, it’s not like the company will ever listen to complaints or critisisms by boycotting the game anyways so there’s rly no point and u might as well enjoy what u like yknow😭 i only rly have a bone to pick when people are able to just . mindlessly enjoy the game as if it doesn’t have valid issues (which clearly does not apply to you hdfjbdkdf)

i talk too much but also i just wanna mention that… as a southasian the colourism bothers me the most but i feel like a lot of my disappointment in sumeru mostly comes from an aesthetics pov😭 i think in general i just had a different vision for the type of characters we’d be seeing, seeing cultural references in clothing has always w spiked specific joy in me because the history behind all the clothing just makes everything feel much more real and impactful ??? whereas other then tighnari, nilou, kind of layla, candace and maybe cyno (i haven’t read much on his design) everything just looks as if it’s been inspired by some generic anime rpg isekai fantasy game🥲 like kaveh, nahida, dori etc etc ,,, so rather then sumeru being ‘wrong’ moreso what hurts me is the potential is what it could’ve been ?? i think that’s why it bothers me when everyone gets so excited abt kaveh’s design or whatever when i’m just here like wow… another blonde white boy with a feather in his hair 😭😭😭😭 they can use sanskrit language and panipuri as food but not have the southasian inspired archon with hindu motifs wear cultural clothing or have even slightly darker skin as a lot of southasian people do 🤨 ok this is just me venting again LOL but basically . don’t stress at all it’s really really fine to like the characters you do (i can’t support positive opinions abt nahida and dori tho MDBSKXND i may be petty) but u Defo don’t have to feel guilty abt enjoying the game 🥺 most of sumeru characters aren’t even southasian so you’re not betraying ur identity at all !! merely enjoying new cultures :’) just make sure to remain critical and be observant of how the people of those cultures being shown feel abt these things and don’t let your opinions be dictated by whether it’s ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ often times in these situations it’s never that clear cut 😭

[infin-8-morphosis]

So hmmm, 3 weeks of relative freedom and lets see, what did I do with it.

Probably most importantly I now have a standing desk (It's great. Now I can walk away every 5 minutes and not have to sit back down n remember what I was doing before I get distracted again) and most most importantly I have a functioning tablet that does not make my eyes bleed and brain cry from the colour inaccuracy. I hadn't seen purple in so long. You have no idea how much this speeds things up. In theory.. I'm still slow. It's just how I function, and that's okay.

Well I'm redoing the map again, to no-ones surprise.

Decided on it being a tidally-locked moon, with pretty extreme temperatures either side but a moderate middle. Its orbit is skewed so the moon has earth-like seasons, but less extreme. It has a lot of land, and 2 separated oceans, plus lots of craters, the ecological impacts (pun unintended but appreciated) of so many massive collisions it looks cool okay.

For reference the edges of the map, and the centre line horizontally, are the equator...s. If you cut it in half along the central horizontal line, the centres of the resulting squares would be the poles.

Bit outdated but, like this. That lower right corner is actually like 50% of the globe, probably too big but... it's okay, it's mostly frozen wasteland on account of being near perpetually dark.

Only the top of the main continent is done but I'm feeling good about it. Also bought a plugin to make it interactible so eventually it'll have many layers including the heights, climate, biomes, political stuff, roads, towns, etc. Don't you miss when old web games had interactible maps. Like Neopets. I am now living beyond my wildest dreams making them. Awesome.

Perhaps the biggest thing is this. Sort of... I decided to make a big worldbuilding decision, one I really have wanted to make for a long time but never knew how to go about it in a way that was better than just 'theyre aliens but happen to look like humans' (booo)

so the Valkyries are now 100% home-grown aliens, or I guess more accurately natives, since they used to be aliens to this planet.

This has some fun opportunities to explore non-magical possibly also sapient offshoots and relatives, better flow to the biology aspect now they don't feel so separate to the rest of the world.

Importantly they maintain a pleasantly human-like look and I guess function, while being visually and functionally different. They breathe through their necks (Realising Avatar already did this but they didnt give their humanoid the cool necks so boohoo i beat you to it. Also I forgot about the neck thing in that so I guess we're both cool. Theyre derived gills.) Also their neck is. on the back of their head. Its really cool. Their eyes are really that huge, but are oval shaped and dont actually rotate... only the layer of skin over it does, which contracts to from a pupil of differing sizes. So they have 3 eyelids, 1 skin, 1 membrane, 1 sphincter thing. Lovely.

You've maybe guessed already (Well probably not I hardly post them) But uhhh. This has a lot of implications for my characters, and more direly the uhhhh. giant comic I'm halfway through making.

Honestly I've kind of given up on 'finishing' it. I dunno, I feel content to move on with the story and just work on it whenever I want to do a bit more with it. It was always intended to be my 'practice' for the 'real' comic, which I feel fully capable of. Doesn't mean I'll do it tho.

And you can maybe also guess why I'm modelling them therefore. Uhhhh.... 3d comic anyone? maybe? probably not but ooooh. the ease of doing complicated poses, you have any idea how much of a wall a wierd pose is. using the 3d model as the background. I dunno, I've never seen it done before, I'd like to be the first at something, even if it doesn't work. I feel a lot more secure in my work than I used to be., to be free to fail.

If I can get the model to be as expressive as my 2d art (Which. Wuargh. Hard task.) and set it up so I don't need to unsymmetrise it (daunting but doable I hope with a few tricks) then there's nothing to stop me. Oh also clothes I guess and people touching and What To Do with Water and How To Rig Hair but like. I love 3d. And it'd be so much less destructive than 2d. I redo so many panels over and over from scratch because the pain of adjusting dozens of layers is greater than just redrawing. Imagine destroying that problem by being able to redo whatever I like and rerender it. Honestly the comfort something is changeable would maybe stop me from endlessly changing things.

So this model is ideally going to be a template for me to model my characters. I'm unsure if I'll be able to make them share a rig to the point that poses and such will be reusable... but I'll try. I think as long as the bones have the same names it'll work.

Here's an example of a redesign. Also little teen teri... cursed and skinny... Still a mild victim of funky tablet colours so if it's wierd, yeah.

(It's hilarious putting her proportions into 3d. She is so dense. She is easily 4x the body mass of the template, its ridiculous. And that was only the muscles, I didnt even add the fat yet. I probably won't model everyones skeleton and muscles but she needs it okay)

3d is really just, the closest you can get to those flash dressup games, you know the ones, but with complete creative freedom. And cloth physics.

[shooter-nobunagun]

//*pulls self out from coffin*

//J/k this blog was never really dead but it's really quiet; I just recently (finally) posted a new one-shot, and I really, honest-to-god am still working for my ongoing long stories (like I promise the drafts are still there and every few months I write like...1-2 sentences):

Divine Intervention

Hunt or be Hunted

While I post individual chapters here, I would strongly recommend checking out my AO3 if you want a better format/archive. (also they allow pron yay)

Some other shorter-but-ongoing stories are also still WIP; admittedly I cannot promise I have much of a plan for those except that I'll get around to them if/when I have new ideas...a few of my fics I actually am in the process of re-writing just b/c so much time has passed since I started vs now I feel I've matured more as a writer, and some of the content was...kinda amateurish. As always one-shots pop up whenever I get inspired (read: when I get a particularly hot skeb commission lmao)

(you don't wanna know how many drafts I've started and then just stopped b/c the initial idea just wasn't as strong as I thought)

On a side note, while this blog is still 'officially' retired for roleplay, for certain, specific reasons, I will revive (somewhat) bits and pieces of it as time and circumstances allow; i.e., I am not accepting long threads/ongoing plots, nor do I have the wherewithal to revive and update Sio's bio/interactions/etc. but I think it may be fun to poke around here and there depending on circumstances.

(aka I might just drop some asks and/or small bits but I don't have the time or brainpower for long threads; sorry)

But do know the asks are always open regardless if it's RP related or not; I actually still check my main @celebistar on a daily basis so if I don't respond here you can poke my main.

Honestly I feel bad I haven't been writing as much...this year has been strangely more challenging than I've expected, especially given similar circumstances last year; on one hand it sucks to have to deal with insomnia/anxiety but on the other I do feel I've learned alot more about myself and grown as a result, so no great loss with out some gain? Right now things are much better so I'm grateful for that, but I look back on the calendar and I'm like man, how long has it been since I last wrote something substantial? That's not even to say my drawing....

Anyway; I suppose the tl;dr: is

i swear to mother-fucking god I am still invested in my long-haul fics

i might dabble again in some lite-RP activities

If you're still following me and reading my stuff from like 10 years ago, or even if you only recently discovered my stuff then I have nothing but love and gratitude xoxo - Kayu

[imlitterallyjustblogging]

You reblogged that reblog this to get random asks post, and the conversation about hair accessories we started is interesting to me, so here's a random ask:

See, around December 2021/January 2022 my life had a lot of upheaval. I had to move apartments under traumatic circumstances. I was about six months into a new job. . I'd either had some realizations or started asking questions about both my orientation of attraction and my gender identity. There was a lot going on

So, I decided to do some new year, new me stuff.

I got my ears pierced. I admire people who have tattoos and piercings and body mods of various sorts, but I've always been just a little too scared of the need le to have anything done personally. But I felt going forward that being able to wear pierced ear rings would be a thing I really want to do, so I made an appointment at a piercing studio and got my ears pierced.

I'd spent about a month growing out my facial hair just out of apathy and exhaustion. I didn't have the energy to shave most days, and didn't care so much about my appearance the rest of the time that I just kind of grew the start of a beard for a time. Then I decided to shave that all down to a baby-faced clean-shaven look as best as I could.

I'd also grown my hair out for six months to a year, and the apathy and exhaustion reason probably partly explains it again. I booked an appointment at a barber shop and had them buzz it all down like I was about to go to boot camp.

Right after I did all that, I liked the look. I think the phrase that came to mind was "I look like a butch lesbian, and I like it."

But time passed, and after further thought, I decided I wanted to grow my hair again because I wanted a more feminine look over-all and for me, that means long hair.

Then as I started to get some length to my hair again I started to collect scrunchies. I didn't like the results when I first tried to tie my hair back in a scrunchy pony tail, but I started wearing the scrunchies as bracelets. Then about a month ago I tried the pony tail thing again and liked it better, so now I try it a bit more often.

first off al, damn that was an exciting rollercoaster!

i had too move house/school alot as a kid too so i geuss i kinda relate (idk how old you are but im 16)

new year new me i feel that! ive had my ears pierced since i was six tho! and this year i got my second piercing in my ear! ive never really been scared of piercings so i cant relate on that part but its awesome you overcame your fear and just did it!!/gen

wow! the transition from beard too clean shaven is huge!! love that you did that for yourself/gen

looking like a butch lesbian is awesome honestly i love them!!

as for the long hair i feel the same way i wanted the fem look too so now im growing my hair again (for context i used too have hair down too my hips and now its like shoulder length-ish)

i love people who collect scrunchies!!! how many do you have??

good luck on your personal journey of growth<3

how long my hair is:

hair style i wear alot:

[womanofwords]

STEM Kids Shenanigans (Chapter 24)

Chapter 24: Layla's Plants

Layla loved her plants. They were some of the only things that kept her sane during times of chaos and upheaval. When everyone else changed, her plants stayed the same.

"Why do you even like this stuff?" Miriam asked.

"It's quiet. Soothing. And the best part is, it doesn't go into my room and turn the lights off while I'm reading," Layla said.

Miriam huffed. "You don't have to be like that about it."

"Stop turning off the lights in my room, then."

"No."

(PAUSE)

Layla especially loved conducting her own plant experiments to enhance her own natural beauty. Recently, she'd been making her own hair care specials with plants she'd grown herself. Some aloe vera gel mixed with lavender oil for fragrance. Coconut oil dissolved in water to give her hair a glossy shine. But recently, she'd been wanting to make her hair longer. It was just longer than shoulder length. She wanted it down to her backside like her older sister.

And she was going to use science and her plants to get what she wanted.

First, she got her books about plants and scanned them all for ones which boosted hair growth. When that didn't work, she googled it and found a recipe for hair growth serum, which was a mix of different essential oils, along with some aloe vera oil. After mixing and straining, she finally had the finished product.

Now to test it.

(PAUSE)

Layla began diligently applying the mixture to her hair once a week, letting it sit for hours and then carefully rinsing it out. And she began to see results pretty quickly.

Her hair began to grow a lot.

As in, a lot.

"Layla, habibti, your hair is too long. I think you might need a haircut," her father said.

"No she doesn't. She looks amazing," her mother said. "How did your hair grow this long?"

"Uhh . . . I didn't notice. Is it really that much?" Layla asked.

"Yes," her parents chorused.

Layla's parents weren't the only ones to make appreciative comments about her hair. "What the hell?" Aaliyah asked. "Your hair is super long. As long as mine."

"You think so?" Layla asked, giggling.

"Yeah, girl. I need to know your secret," Aaliyah said. "What have you even been using?"

"My own recipe."

Aaliyah laughed. "Girl, I will pay you for a piece of that recipe."

And with that, an idea was born.

(PAUSE)

Layla had honestly thought she was alone at the time.

She was applying even more gel to her hair when she was spotted by two older girls. "What the hell are you doing?" one of them asked.

"It's a . . . hair growth . . . thing," Layla stammered.

"That stuff grows out your hair?" the second girl said, an eyebrow raised.

"Well, look at my hair and come to your own conclusions," Layla said, shaking her hair out of the bun she'd put it in. It cascaded down from its previous bun imprisonment and went halfway down her thigh.

"You've got a point," the first one said. "Where'd you get it from?"

"I . . . made it myself, actually," Layla said, gaining a burst of confidence.

"I've been meaning to have something to make my hair thicker," the first girl said. "How much?"

"Wait, what? How much?" Layla's head was spinning. "I didn't think people would want any."

"Course people would. I would right now. You could make a lot of money off of this stuff."

"Oh, I could?" Layla asked, while gears turned in her head.

(PAUSE)

And that was when her school hustle was born.

From there, every Friday, girls would go into an art classroom and walk out with small mason jars of gel. Nobody noticed how Layla's bag was bigger at the start of school and dramatically decreased after lunch. It had even escaped the authorities (AKA teachers and prefects). And every day, she would get more compliments from her clients.

"Layla, you are a miracle worker!"

"You're the best!"

"Worth every penny!"

But, like everything good, Melanie became suspicious.

"What's in the bag, Layla?" Melanie asked, cornering the Muslim girl as she walked with Yujin, Angelo and Dante.

"My stuff," Layla said, as she walked faster. She was so close to being off school grounds, so close to freedom.

And then Melanie grabbed her.

"You're hiding something in there, aren't you?" she snapped. "Show me! Show me what's in the bag right now!" She grabbed Layla's bag and tugged. Layla tugged it back.

"It's none of your business! I've done nothing wrong!" Layla yelled. A tug of war commenced. Yujin grabbed another part of Layla's bag.

"You four are always up to something," Melanie snapped

A crowd was forming of students eager to see a fight go down, and a chant spread. "FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT! FIGHT!"

"We weren't doing anything!" Layla yelled over the chanting.

"What on earth are you doing?" Dr Violet boomed. Everyone sprang back.

"Dr Violet!" Melanie giggled nervously. "W-what a pleasure t-t-to see you."

"What are you doing?" Dr Violet asked.

"I thought that Layla had something suspicious in her bag," Melanie stammered. "When I decided to look at it, she wouldn't let me. So I began to attempt to forcibly take the bag from her, which was when Moon intervened on Layla's behalf."

Dr Violet did not look impressed. "And on what grounds did you believe that Layla would have anything suspicious in her bag, Miss Sainsbury?"

"For as long as I've known them, they have been rude, crude, and disrespectful to authority figures. If anyone's going to be breaking rules, it's them!" Melanie pointed an accusing finger at Layla.

Now Dr Violet looked genuinely angry with Melanie. "I have met the STEM club and interacted with them on a personal level. They have no such negative qualities about them. And I thought you knew that you were no longer a prefect," Dr Violet said in her icy tone.

"Oooh," the crowd whispered. Melanie looked at the floor as her face turned red and the crowd whispered.

"Now let them go," the headmistress ordered. Melanie released her hand, and the four left the school grounds.

"Melanie got her prefect badge taken away? Who would have guessed?" Dante mused.

"Who wouldn't celebrate news like this?" Angelo laughed.

"I can't believe that Dr Violet said that so publicly," Yujin said.

"Well, I can't believe that she grabbed my bag and tried to search me, so I'm not exactly going to be sympathetic," Layla said.

"Neither am I, but I'm still shocked," Angelo said.

As the four went their separate ways, Layla scoffed at the turn of events. Melanie always thought they were up to something.

Shame she could never catch them.

Arabic translation

Habibti: darling (female)

To read the other parts of this fic, see Masterlist.