#and i do have a fairly above average understanding of that

[stoportotouch]

i think my chief Complaint with the tv adaptation of the terror is that it doesn't do enough to really twist and warp the themes of overwhelming christianity until they're completely unrecognisable (or, better, still very recognisable but now bleeding and frothing rather than seen how the men would have seen them).

fortunately, of course, the main use that i still find for my knowledge and understanding of the liturgy is doing exactly that in my writing. so, you know, keep an eye open.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

The overwhelming misery of going viral on YouTube

In April of 2021, I posted a short to YouTube - a 60 second video in the format of their TikTok competitor. In the nature of shorts, it was a one-minute, necessarily un-nuanced hot take about a subject I like to talk about: character design. Specifically I made the mistake of lamenting that the character design of female heroes in major games tend to prioritize attractiveness rather than using their body shape to do storytelling about their lives or capabilities.

It did okay, garnering about 38k views in its first month. Didn't set the world on fire, but I got my point out there, and while there were some crappy comments, for the most part people seemed to understand what I was driving at.

The short had eventually climbed to about 100.000 views after a full year of being online, which is respectable, but in the world of YouTube Shorts a fairly middle-of-the-road level of success (these are extremely short videos being served extremely quickly to a huge base of users). Fast forward to November 8th of this year, and... something happens. More than a year after it was originally published, it starts gaining traction.

Slowly at first, a few thousand views, but by the 14th it's gained 80.000 views in a day. On the 16th, 400.000, on the 17th, 680.000. I have no idea why this is happening, there's no influx of viewers from any outside source, there's no topical news event that would make the video suddenly relevant.

I tweet about it, bemused by the sudden jump, but also hinting a bit at the other side of this story.

"There Is No Such Thing As Negative Press"

On YouTube, there is on the systemic level very little difference between positive attention and negative attention. If you create excellent work that brings joy into people's lives, they engage with your video and the algorithm reads that as success. And if you create miserable, hateful content that makes people angry and stokes them to responses of outrage, disgust or jeering, the algorithm reads that as a kind of success, too.

Hate-bait and rage-bait YouTubers operate in that latter space, churning out inflammatory or distressing content, hoping to elicit either reactions of horror, or gleeful cheering from people who like it when their favourite online personality trolls the Other.

But there's another way to garner negative attention, and that is to create content which is not at all designed to bait or elicit a negative response, but whose subject matter nonetheless produces a negative response from a certain kind of person.

That is the unfortunate slip-and-slide I have found myself on.

At the time of writing, the short sits at 6.8 million views, has been gaining on average 2 million views per day, and it still seems to be accelerating. Despite those skyrocketing numbers, however, it only ("only") has around 1300 published comments underneath it.

That is because, after the first couple of million views, I told YouTube to automatically hold all comments for review. That is, YouTube allows users to comment on the video, but those comments are not published until I manually approve them.

The reason I did this is... well, it's easier to show you with some pictures. Content warning, these are unfiltered YouTube comments, so expect casual bigotries.

These are screenshots from the "held for review" tab of my YouTube Studio backend. YouTube in recent years has gotten good at filtering out content like overt racial slurs and the worst of the worst insults, which is nice, but the filtered comments tab is still not a particularly pleasant place to read through right now.

Most of the comments are like what you see above: casually rude, fatphobic, homophobic, transphobic or otherwise unpleasant. Some of the comments are more intense, threatening me with violence, insulting me personally, "I hope your mom gets raped by a [racial slur]," and worse. The worst comments are a small percentage, but as you can imagine, they do stand out in the mind, and a small percentage of a huge number can still be a lot of comments.

And that's the thing. There are hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds, and hundreds of comments. I scrolled for fifteen minutes and did not see the end of it. YouTube doesn't keep a visible count on how many comments are held for review, but I'd not be surprised if the 1300 comments count would have been doubled if I hadn't stopped it when I did. And since the video is still accelerating, that number is likely to skyrocket as well.

This provides me with the best theory I have as to why the video took off: the YouTube algorithm started showing it not to people who it thought would like it, but to people it thought would dislike it enough to react, to comment. And the more people did comment, the more the algorithm showed it to other people just like those who commented, who were also likely to dislike it.

This causes a feedback loop of negative attention, which the YouTube algorithm (horrifyingly) interprets as a success and an incentive to keep pushing the video.

Moderating this comments section is now physically impossible - I would need a staff of a dozen to handle it, which I can't afford and who I wouldn't want to expose to it, and while this deluge is going on, moderating the comments of other videos becomes next to impossible as well, since the "held for review" tab is utterly monopolized.

One fix for this problem, of course, is to simply disable the comments. But in my experience, doing that only encourages the worst of the commenters to seek out your other content and leave even worse comments there instead. In fact, a couple of dozen particularly irate people have already sought out my other channels to post insults there, adding to the stress and workload of dealing with all this viral "success."

How YouTube Makes YouTubers Worse

This situation is stressful, because humans are monkey creatures with monkey brains that do not like being exposed to a constant stream of rudeness, cruelty and casual bigotry. However rational you try to be about it, however detached and cold, it wears on you. It chips away at your mental defenses and becomes a constant source of low-level stress and misery.

But as far as YouTube is concerned, it's a huge success.

YouTube's systems are all set up this way. They celebrate increases in numbers with cheerful messages and positive green arrows and "helpful" statistics showing just how much things are growing - meanwhile, if you post otherwise positively received work that doesn't attract as much attention, it will give you dour "your content received fewer views due to lower interest this month" messages and greyed-out downward arrows. If you have a video that does really well on the numbers, YouTube will even play a little fireworks animation on its statistics to celebrate.

It's a form of not-so-subtle psychological manipulation. As a YouTuber you are dependent on your statistics to inform your work - if your rent depends on making those numbers go up, you essentially have no choice but to pay attention to them and let them guide your decision making. And so YouTube designs its systems to push its creators towards the behaviour that the platform finds most beneficial: numbers optimizing.

And the thing is, if I went only by the numbers, I would look at the success of this short and go "oh, there's a viable content strategy here!"

I could try and replicate its "success" by creating more content around the same topic, by targeting the same kind of outrage-baiting, by identifying the contentious subjects and trigger points brought up by the angry people in the comments and hitting them repeatedly, hoping to make engagement fall out.

YouTube would reward me for that, quite handsomely, in fact, even as mental health and professional happiness would absolutely crater. I don't have the personality for that kind of content creation, it's not what I want to do with my work, it's not the kind of person I want to be.

But I am not immune to propaganda. I have already changed as a person from doing this job, I know this for a fact. My priorities have shifted, my wants and needs have changed. Not for the worse, I believe, not yet, but the platform is constantly, constantly pushing on me.

It's unpleasant and it's stressful. It's hostile design, coupled with primitive and insufficient moderation tools, coupled with an aggressive algorithm which will go out of its way to ensure your relationship with your audience is toxic, if that toxicity produces better numbers for the platform.

Viral success is often thought of as a desirable thing, something which can launch a career or skyrocket an unknown to success. The reality is, it is mostly just overwhelming. I'm a grown man and I have done online content creation for a long time, and I have learned strategies to manage toxic comments sections over years of experience.

But imagine if something like this happened to a sixteen year old. Imagine if it happened to a teenage girl just starting out making videos. Or a trans person. Or, hell, any person from a marginalized community. I am sheltered by my privileges, but I have seen how dark it gets and how fast it gets dark for people who don't have those extra protections.

Well, it does happen to them, and no matter how rancid, bigoted and horrible the abuse they receive, they will log in to YouTube Studio to see happy fireworks and "Nice! Your video got 20 million views!" with a little green upwards pointing arrow right next to it.

You might have seen articles and thinkpieces around "creator burnout," and I want you to know that a huge part of what burns creators out is the primitive, profit-optimizing, hostile systems that power these platforms and monetize our worst experiences on them as "engagement."

In case you're wondering how much money I've earned from those 6.8 million views, by the way, it's about $20.

YouTube says they're rolling out full Shorts monetization next year, so I guess I just picked the wrong month to go viral.

---

If this story resonated with you at all, do me a favor and leave a nice comment under the work of an online creator you enjoy. It helps more than you might think.

You can tip me on Patreon or Ko-fi if you want to.

[annabelle--cane]

I got into tma in 2022 on a road trip with no internet and then only tangentially interacted with the fandom (light hcs, fanart) and I am. so compelled to understand what the fandom was like in 2020. what were the takes. why was it so awful. does it explain why every time I try to look into protocol I get a rancid Vibe and jump back 5 feet.

to preface: on scale, it really wasn't any worse than your average fandom, it just A) got Very popular over a short period and B) that period was during a time of particularly high stress where many people suddenly could only experience a social life online. tma is also a fairly political and progressive work, which inevitably leads to certain kinds of Takes. it also got Very popular right at the point where the episodes were reaching their peak of explicit social commentary and sustained morbid tone, which, especially combined with point B from above, drew out some really visceral reactions from a lot of people. nothing was actually inherently rancid about 2020-2021 tma fandom, there was just a bit of a perfect storm of factors.

having said that. some common discourse themes:

the perennial shipping discourse. georgie is the only one of our leads to have never killed a person, but really, I pinky promise that your ship between two unrepentant serial killers is 100x more problematic than my ship between two unrepentant serial killers.

asexuality: how dangerous is it? on a scale of 1-5, with 1 being "mostly" to 5 being "completely," how humiliating is it to be asexual? what is the singular true asexual experience that is unproblematic to write about?

wow, jonny was so out of line for writing this episode, what gives him the right to--oh he said it's directly based on personal experiences? so sorry, my bad, I'll learn for next time. wow, jonny was so out of line for writing this epi--

I did not like this episode. this is obviously a direct act of violence against me. why would an episode be Not Good when there is, in the world, Sadness?

hello, I have sorted all of the characters into a simple chart that clearly delineates which of them are completely irredeemable monsters with no interiority or motives and which of them are perfect angel victims who have only ever been nice and never hurt anyone, ever (and if they did hurt someone then that person deserved it). if I see you adding nuance to any of my rulings, I will kill you. this also extends to the podcast writers. #ilovebinaries.

the characters... are queer... and maybe even other marginalized identities as well... and yet, they do bad things? there's not even a single completely morally innocent character? by god, did they not think about the implications this might have!

web!martin. lol people are so stupid for thinking that the theory is at all plausible, media comprehension much? that would lichrally imply that a queer, poor, mentally ill character might be capable of badness. what do you mean we are currently listening to an arc where he's an accomplice to serial murder.

[elizais]

hi elizai!!!!!!!!!

okokok what about like chuuya and dazai r both dating 2 girls who are best friends?? can u do it from like two povs so like one set is if reader is dazais gf and the other is being chuuyas gf?? tysm tysm!! if u need help for a bsf name my go to is emi its short and japanese x

"girls just want to have fun!"

as above, and ty nonnie for the bsf name i do struggle w picking names!! mby read both sides because they will reference previous points!! and are fairly connected. warnings: mentions of alcohol but not explicit dividers by cafekitsune!!!!

chuuya:

-despite him not exactly being bestfriends with dazai, he will do anything for his girl. so he will put up when he has to bump into dazai when picking you up from wherever you two got yourselves in trouble.

-probably gets along with your bsf too, since you are so close he can find common interests with your friend. and he will sort dazai out too, especially if his gf told him about whatever shit dazai pulled the other day.

-doesn't understand how him and dazai end up in this predicament. and if you both are civilians too,, what are the odds?

-i'm kind of seeing you both becoming friends after chuuya and dazai get into an argument in the middle of yokohama and try to drag them away from each other. you both probably exchange numbers so you can schedule around it happening since it was so hellish.

-then you become friends and dazai and chuuya are dragging their respective gfs away from each other so they can hang out with them.

"doll?" he called out from the entrance of the bar, his girlfriend was chatting away in a table he had not spotted yet. dazai followed, not noticing chuuya, also looking for his girlfriend.

"mackerel.. what are you doing here?" chuuya growls, looking around for her. "someone's not a happy bunny!" dazai chimes sarcastically. dazai carries on, "i'm looking for 'bella. you?"

"i'm looking for doll." he simply states, dazai gasps in realization. "have they.. become friends?"

chuuya looks at dazai, rolling his eyes. he chooses not to respond, happy his girlfriend and her friend were so close. although that will mean more run ins with dazai.

"there they are! you must have not seen them, the people in here are average height. don't beat yourself up over it, chuuya!" dazai remarks, rushing over to the pair of girls so chuuya doesn't yell.

dazai:

-he is not as happy as chuuya. chuuya isn't happy about it either but dazai whines about having to see "the slug" constantly. maybe slap him round the back of his head when he complains?

-when you and your friend go out to the bar, he tries to get there slightly after chuuya because he knows chuuya will take the tab.

-when your friend comes to your place, before you promptly kick dazai out for a girls evening, he asks her things such as "i know chuuya's pay is good, but how much does mori pay you to put up with him?"

-when he is finally kicked out for girls night, he will never admit it but he and chuuya just stay at the other's place depending on which girlfriend is hosting. they think you don't know but you both definitely do.

-if you and your friend both work for different organisations, there is sooo much gossip shared.

-i also just think that dazai will eventually not care too much that you guys are friends, yeah he would much rather it be kunikida or something to bother kunikida more but it is what it is.

[haikyuufanficwriting]

Chapter 8: Ushijima

Prompt: Reader falls asleep on Character’s shoulder Character: Ushijima _________________

Since starting your third year at Shiratorizawa Academy, you can’t remember the last time you’ve gotten a proper amount of sleep.

Much less sleep in general.

Being in such a prestigious school, of course the workload would be bigger than any average high school. You just didn’t expect to be struggling this hard.

Back in middle school, you remember being levels above your peers. Maybe it was the hours your parents spent drilling you at home, or just natural talent, but you’re pretty confident that your reputation half brought you here.

But as you would learn, reputation and talent could only take you so far.

With your house being way too far to walk or bus, your parents allowed you to stay in one of the schools many dorms. While you were ecstatic about your new freedom, it did have some pitfalls.

Pitfalls being that your study habits were only enforced by your parents. So as any normal teenager would, you started to become lazy. And your grades began to slip.

Fortunately for you, there was rule where students had to obtain a certain average by the end of the year, or they would be kicked. That rule definitely blew some smoke up your ass, because during your first and second year, you did your absolute best to keep above that average. Which you did. Fairly well, too.

But entering your third and final year, you were just so tired. All of the motivation and strength seemed to vanish the harder your classes became. You couldn’t understand your subjects, which lead the unhealthy habit of pulling all nighters, trying to grasp the material on your own.

Eventually, your sleeping schedule had become so messed up that you were only powering on coffee and instant noodles just to get through the school day. And like a deadly cycle, certain classes and concepts were harder to comprehend the longer your brain was starved of sleep.  

One example being. Advanced Functions.

For the life of you, you just couldn’t seem to understand anything in that class. No matter how hard you tried to concentrate, tried to focus, it was always in one ear out the other. The textbook seemed so convoluted that it only managed to confuse you further, so studying on your own was a no go.

Needless to say, you weren’t even close to passing this class, and final exams were coming soon. You absolutely needed to do well in this, or else you’d get a letter sent home to your parents, and you can’t even imagine what they’d do to you.

Thankfully, your teacher had the same thought. After class ended, he called you over to his desk.

“I’ve asked a student in this class if they’d be willing to tutor you. I haven’t told them anything about your grades, just that you need some help. They’re available to work with you on Tuesdays in the library. Will that be alright with you?” You manage to keep your face passive and devoid of any emotion. Honestly, you weren’t exactly keen to be tutored, but with your grades this low, you’re really don’t have any other choice other than to throw away your pride and bite the bullet.

“Yes, thank you Sensei, that would be perfect.” You bow and make your exit, having your respectful smile drop the second your face is out of view. You sigh heavily as you made your way to your dorm.

You just hope whoever’s tutoring you can help make sense of this nonsense.

~~

Ushijima was a busy man. Key word was. After losing to Karasuno, the time he needed spend in the gym was significantly less than before. Of course, he went to the gym to practice regularly anyways, working on anything and everything to improve. But, after the coach found out, he told Ushijima to relax and take a break, claiming that he should take this time to rest and relax. Just for a couple weeks, and to take time focusing on his studies.

The only problem was, he didn’t need to focus on his studies. Or relax. He already had highest marks in most of his classes, and stress had never been an issue for him. While most ordinary students could study everything under two hours, he could. While most couldn’t function with five or less hours of sleep, he did. Ushijima had gotten so used to his hectic timetable, that having a huge chunk of it missing was extremely odd to him. Like he didn’t know what to do with himself.

“This is your time to find a hobby, Wakatoshi-kun.” Tendou had told him, to which he only tilted his head in confusion.

“But I do have a-”

“One that isn’t volleyball.” That made him pause. A hobby… That wasn’t volleyball?

Was there really anything?

If there was, he couldn’t think of one.

“How do I find a hobby?” He asks, causing Tendou to hum.

“You gotta try different things out. See if you like it or not.” Ushijima nods, absorbing the advice. It was good advice, but it did bring up an important question.

What’s one thing he could try?

That stuck with him, circling his head for the rest of the day. There seemed to be too many and none all at once. Even if he did find some that seemed interesting, which would he do first? Could he do multiple at once to become more efficient? What if he liked a new hobby but had to stop due to his schedule becoming normal again? If that’s a possibility, what was even the point of trying to find something new?

Ushijima was close to exploding with all the questions that he couldn’t answer and was about to call Tendou again for help, at least until his advanced functions teacher called him to his desk.

“Ushijima-kun, I need your help with something. There’s a student in this class, (Name), who needs a little help understanding the material. Since your season is over and you’re fairly good at the subject, do you think you could help her out?”

As if the gods heard his cries for help, an opportunity had dropped on his lap. But did tutoring count as a hobby? It seemed like a commitment too…

‘You gotta try different things out. See if you like it or not.’ Tendou’s words ring in Ushijima’s head. Well, if he had to try different things out, this seemed like a good start. With the thought being the final push, he agrees with a solemn nod.

“I don’t have a problem with it.”

~~

You jerk awake from the bell ringing loudly in your ear. You confusedly look around to see students getting up and collecting their items around you, signaling in your brain that you must’ve fallen asleep in class again, and you slept through yet another lecture.

Guess I’ll be staying up late again…

You yawn, standing and picking up your bag before making your way out of the class, about to go the cafeteria, at least until you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket.

Was someone calling you?

Confused, you pull it out to hear a soft alarm and text across your screen in dark bold letters reading ‘Tutoring today at the library!’ causing your eyes to widen. You had completely forgotten about it! You let out a slur of curses as you rush up the stairs to the library, hoping that you didn’t make your tutor wait too long.

Practically slamming the library door open, you speed walk to the study area of the library, searching the students that littered the desks, seeing if you recognized anyone from your class. You stand there for a couple minutes longer than necessary, with your extremely heavy eyelids making it considerably difficult to scan peoples faces, but after not seeing anyone at first glance, you start to walk around the area. You don’t know how much time passes until someone calls out to you.

“(Name)-san.” The deep voice makes you jump far harder than it should’ve, with you almost dropping your school bag. You collect yourself as fast as you could and turn your head to the sound, finding none other than the star of the school.

Ushijima Wakatoshi.

Your brain blanks as you continue to stare at him, your mind too tired and too shocked to put together sentences. After a couple minutes of silence, he tilts his head, clearly waiting for your response. That manages to kick your brain into gear.

“Wakatoshi-san.” Your voice is meek, and your face flushes at how stupid you sound. If Ushijima sees your cringe, he doesn’t acknowledge it.

“I’m glad I found you. I thought for a moment you had forgotten about our session.” His comment confirms your suspicions, but it only manages to disorientate you further.

You just never would’ve assumed that the Ushiwaka, the ace and captain of this powerhouse school, was wasting his time tutoring you. You mean, you’re not entirely surprised he was picked to help, he was one of the smartest in your class, (You’re fairly certain he’s a robot, how could someone be so good at everything?) but you just thought he would be way too busy to help anyone.

You also thought with his personality he wouldn’t want to help anybody. Honestly, you’re just confused as to why he even agreed to help you at all. Maybe to put it on his resume?

You don’t know, you assumed that being a prodigy in sport was enough, but you digress.

“Come, I’ve already set up a table.” He motions you to follow him, and with a soft ‘alright’, you follow him to a more secluded part of the study area, with a single desk surrounded by bookshelves, each stocked to the brim with dusty old books. On the desk was you assume his study books and utensils neatly organised. Of course he was a neat freak.

You sit in the chair just across from his, feeling your body almost go limp in exhaustion the second you sit down. You wait until he settles himself and opens one of his books. Your brain once more begins to fail you as you stupidly watch him flip through pages, basically falling asleep with your eyes open. You don’t even realize until you hear a sharp knock on the table.

“(Name)-san?” The voice suddenly comes into focus and you snap up. “Y-yes?”

“Aren’t you going to pull out your books?” Ushijima asks, face stoic as ever. You stutter out a slightly slurred reply as you open your school bag and search for your books.

Only to not find your math books, but your biology books. You scrunch your nose in confusion. It takes your brain a couple of seconds to realize what you did.

You switched your books on accident.

Oh, how badly you want to curl up and cry right now.

Not only was it embarrassing to have one the most popular boys in school tutor you, but to also act like a total ditz was almost too much for you to take. It’s almost like the gods want to mess with you for shits and giggles at this point.

You have to slowly put your bag down, and look back to your tutor, who’s been staring at you for the past few minutes now.

“Wakatoshi-san, I just realized I brought the wrong books by accident. I’m sorry but I’ll have to go back to my dorms to get the right ones.” You give him what you hope is an apologetic smile and begin to stand up, until his voices rings in your ear once more.

“That’s not necessary.” You pause.

“Excuse me?”

“We’ve already wasted enough time as it is. I have no problem sharing my books for this session.” With that he pulls out the chair right next to him and offers the seat.

You’re pretty sure almost every girl would kill to be in your position right now. You can’t stop the blush that forms on your tired face.

“Oh-uh… ah, thank y-you.” You finally managed to get out, wanting to slap yourself subconsciously as you take the seat next to him. The second you sit down; your overworked brain is hit by so many things at once.

He smells nice. Like really nice. You definitely wouldn’t mind curling up to that. Not to mention, his warmth.

You can feel the warmth coming off him in waves.

Sleeping next to that would be so comforting…

You’re snapped out of your thoughts again when you hear a textbook being slid over to you. If you were a little more awake then you are now, you would realize how intimate this was. Sharing a book caused you to be a lot closer than necessary, but of course with you being sleep deprived and Ushijima being Ushijima, neither of you commented.

“So, what are you having troubles in?” He asked, and you go to answer, only to be met with emptiness.

You were so confused; you didn’t even know what you were confused about. You mentally kick yourself. That’s a new low.

Of course, not wanting the captain to know how much a dumbass you were, you responded, “The first couple chapters really messed with me.” Which isn’t a lie, you just didn’t mention the rest of the chapters that messed you up as well. He nods and goes to the beginning. Then begins to explain the main concepts of the chapters.

“A polynomial function has specific characteristics that define them from another other kind of function. With those characteristics being a domain of real numbers, a possibility of the range being restricted by both upper and lower bounds, and these functions do not have horizontal…”

You hear his words turn into nothing but mixed sounds as he continued to explain. As much as you tried to focus, you feel your eyelids becoming impossible heavy. You were trying, you really were, even pinching yourself ever once in a while and biting the inside of your mouth as hard as possible, but with Ushijima’s voice this low and soothing, you were fighting a losing battle. You didn’t expect that when he wasn’t scaring you out of sleep, that his voice was actually extremely nice to listen too.

Not to mention his unexpected but totally welcomed comforting aura, his warmth, his smell and the quiet atmosphere, they were all begging you to let go and leave the realm of the conscious. While you were too busy fighting the war, Ushijima was too focused on the book and pointing out examples that he didn’t even realize.

You only manage to last a couple more minutes, until you see nothing but long awaited black.

~~

“…Then there’s quartic, quintic, so on and so forth. There are polynomials bigger than these, but the likely not to appear on the exam so we don’t have to cover them. Between these main five functions there are subdivision that we can also use to characterize them, for example-” Ushijima is cut off by a warm pressure falling on his arm. He turns confused to find you, positively knocked out and now using his arm as a pillow. His thought process is cut off.

Well this is… a development.

Ushijima figured you were tired. In fact, he had known for a long time, that you weren’t getting the sleep you needed. Just a quick glance in class, or talking to you, your slurred speech and heavy eyes, made it easy for anybody to figure out. However, he didn’t think it was to the point of passing out anywhere and everywhere.

He’d be impressed if he wasn’t inherently worried.

He been around people who were sleep deprived, previous senpais and enthusiastic kouhai’s who couldn’t get enough of volleyball, and it does terrible things to brain. Once it had been the point of someone ending up in the hospital.

Ushijima watched you with worried thoughts swirling his mind, as you had a look of absolute comfort on your face, even sleepily nuzzling your face into his arm, which caused him to stare at you a couple seconds above normalcy.

His slightly weird stare was cut off by the bell, which did put his thoughts back into gear. What was he supposed to do? Wake you? Call a teacher?

Well, one things for sure, he couldn’t just leave you here.

So, seeing this as the best course of action, he attempted to wake you.

“…(Name)-san…” He said gently, nudging you with the arm you were sleeping on, you made some sounds of discomfort, before rubbing you nose into his arm again and falling back to sleep.

It was almost cute. Almost.

“(Name)-san.” Ushijima says with a little more finality, which does cause you stir a little more, even causing you to open your eyes a little, but he could tell you were far from awake.

“She’ll be right with you.” You breathe out, which does make Ushijima lips quirk up the tiniest bit.

“(Name)-san, you have to wake up.” He’s reached his regular loudness now, hoping that he wouldn’t have to raise it higher to get you to wake. Thankfully, you manage to open your eyes fully, but is was safe to say that you weren’t completely conscious. You were almost like in a drunken state, with your pupils blown wide and the dazed expression you wore. Looking at you, Ushijima then decided what he needed to do. He couldn’t possibly let you go to class like this, not when you needed something so vital to the brain.

He grabs you by the shoulders to bring your head off him, making sure you don’t wobble too much. Once he’s sure you won’t bang your head on the table, he gets up and starts to collect your things.

“Hm? Is the session over?” You slur, eyes have lidded as you watch him pick up your bag.

“Yes.”

“Did I do well?” You ask with a tired smile, clearly not remembering what happened. Or what didn’t happen. For reasons even he didn’t know, Ushijima decides to humor you.

“Yes.” You raise your arms in the air in happiness, letting out an excited ‘yay!’ in a shushed voice, which Ushijima is extremely grateful for, as he didn’t want to cause a ruckus in the library.

He turns back to you. “Can you stand?” His question turns your mood for some reason, and you huff like a child. “’Course I can stand! Who d’you take me for?” And very quickly, as if to prove your point, you stand from your seat, only for your mind to spin and knees to wobble. Out of reflex to stop you from falling, Ushijima grabs your waist to steady you.

You two stand like that for a while, with your bodies a lot closer than they should’ve been. After what felt like an eternity, you break out into a goofy yet proud smile.

“See? Told ya I could stand.” Ushijima face is passive at best and remains silent. Only giving you a nod while he grabs his stuff along with yours as you two make it out of the library. He holds onto your waist to make sure you don’t fall when walking, but when he secures that you can walk, albeit a little slow, he still doesn’t let go. Walking through the halls and out to the dorms you both we’re met with a lot of stares. And whispers.

Not that either of you noticed.

After he’s exited the school and begins to walk to the girl’s dorms.

“What is your dorm number?” Ushijima asks, for you to snap out of whatever trance you were in.

“Uhhh… red… I think…” He looks at you, visibly confused.

“What?” You look at him back, clearly trying to think through the mess that was your brain.

“Wait… What did you ask me?” Ushijima has to keep in a sigh.

“Your dorm number.”

“Oh… That’s… Uhh… four…thirty-one.” You say.

“(Name)-san, there’s only two floors.” You two now stand in the front of the girls’ dorms, and since it was lunch hour, the likelihood that someone would be there, was considerably low, which did save Ushijima the explanation. You try to articulate a proper answer, but your brain this melted, Ushijima didn’t really have high hopes. So instead, he let go of you for a second, to read the names on the lists of the many mailboxes that littered the entrance hall. After a couple minutes, he found your name.

“208.” He says. Not even close. He watches the look of realization appear on your face.

“Ohhh, yeah that’s right!” He doesn’t hold back the sigh this time, grabbing your hand, and bringing you up to your dorm. Surprisingly, the dorm is unlocked, but you must’ve forgotten to lock it this morning when you left. He opens it and leads you in. You just follow in after him and just stare, clearly not knowing what to do.

Ushijima drops your things on your desk and takes you and sits you on your lower bunk bed.

“You should stay here and rest. You don’t have to worry about your next class, I’ll go and tell your teacher that you’re not feeling well.” He tells you, but like before, you just stare at him, telling him its just going in one ear and out the other. Out of the corner of his eye, he’s spots a random notepad and pencil. Ushijima turns away from you and takes the notepad and pencil.

“I’ll just write this down for you, so you can read it when you are in a correct state of mind. I hope you can learn to have a proper sleep schedule, it’s extremely vital to your health and not sleeping is actually- ” When he turns to you again to place the note, he finds you just as before. Knocked out on your bed, not even lifting your legs from the ground.

Ushijima watches you again for more than he cared to admit, before taking his stuff and leaving your room.

And to think he just wanted to try something new…

~~

You slowly open your eyes, to find yourself on your bed and still in uniform. You sit up, confusion hitting you hard.

How did I get here? What day is it? What time is it? How long did I sleep for?

You started panicking a little, at least until you spot a piece of folded paper on your nightstand. Curious, you open it.

(Name)-san, you fell asleep during our session, and I didn’t feel it was acceptable to leave you, so I brought you back to your dorm. I told your teachers that you weren’t feeling well, so please feel free to relax and rest. I strongly recommend that you get a proper sleep schedule, as what you are doing is dangerous.

We’ll continue our tutoring next Tuesday, hopefully you should feel better by then.

Ushijima Wakatoshi

You might just have cardiac arrest.

[mtkay13]

I say now is the time I start updating my tumblr gallery again... I've been slacking...

More TYK design studies! Here, specifically, an evolution of Zhou Zishu and Wen Kexing throughout their lives, to see what stages they got through to reach who they are during book canon.

I headcanon ZZS as this little smug genius and tried to keep this unimpressed, self-satisfied smirk throughout, with I hope a noticeable shift for the last two.

5 y.o., still living at the Zhou estate, with his family. He's a bit of a weak child (pulled from ZZS saying he didn't have nearly as good a constitution as ZCL does), but quite smart, already with a knack for spying on people.

10 y.o. has joined Siji manor, proud and smug and feeling superior for having been chosen by QHZ and being hella good at what he does.

15 y.o. is now freshly appointed sect leader, and I think it's going well enough, that he's quite feeling himself there.

20 y.o., has now been working for HLY for a bit more than a year, roughly.

25 y.o., right after the ending of Qi Ye, right after the war, right after he pretty much got his very personal bad ending. I feel like he's quite numb, can only survive through floating above everything and just focus on work and some distracting, meaningless things.

29 y.o., TYK canon after unmasking.

---

With WKX I wanted to represent, without being too on the nose, the progressive loss of humanity.

5 y.o., still living with his Jianghu heroes parents. Quite a happy and playful child, more interested in having fun than studying. Probably a natural at many things, however, such as learning his father's sword techniques (unlike the arts of healing lessons that he probably didn't pay much attention to)

10 y.o., has been in the valley for a few months already, surviving.

18 y.o., is a servant for whom is currently the Ghost Valley Master.

21 y.o., is now the GVM himself, has successfully lead a coup against his own master and then won what was basically a battle royale for the throne.

26 y.o., is now a seasoned GVM, has been in this position for much longer than average, is working on his plan.

30 y.o., TYK canon.

For reasons, it's quite important to me to have this overview and to consider in detail each of their progression since I think it participates heavily into how I understand them as people. The followings were already posted in my previous post with all the design, but since it's thematically coherent I will add the families and some details about them:

The Wen family, especially the parents, were Jianghu heroes in the best wuxia tradition. Wen Ruyu had to look a like Wen Kexing, and Gu Miaomiao be this pure, strong, energetic heroïne. As mentioned above, I like child WKX to be a very fun and energetic child himself-- he likes the colours his mother wears, likes to run around and look at beautiful things. I found that the two buns were a cute addition to his design. He's about 3 y.o. on this illustration. The Zhou family is meant to look plain and normal, as ZZS himself-- little parenthesis: although I do like to draw ZZS as handsome, I think he isn't much more than that; I think that it's fine to consider that he looks rather plain, especially next to people like WKX or, obviously, JBY or YBY. Since ZZS seems to have a fascination with heroes in the book, I like to imagine that he was naturally the least heroic of the brotherhood; both his brother and sister being a better match than himself (although ultimately they are all fairly normal people). I liked to have his mom be the originator of his height (I think he should totally be the tallest of the brotherhood, btw).

That's it! Thank you for reading!

[saintsenara]

Hiya! What do you think of the idea that Jily and Romione are meant to be parallels? I personally don't quite agree, but what's your take?

thank you very much for the ask, anon!

and the short answer is that i am definitely not convinced...

i presume that the idea that jily and romione are meant to be deliberate parallels hangs on a couple of things. the first of these are a series of superficial similarities, which i think we can dismiss fairly easily:

that each pairing is made up of a pureblood man and a muggleborn woman; that one person in each pairing is ginger; that both pairings fancied each other the moment they met, but didn't act on that attraction until their seventh years; and that both pairings seem to communicate primarily by bickering.

none of these hit for me - not least because, individually, none of james, ron, lily, or hermione are particularly alike.

[and i certainly think that it's tedious to suggest that two female characters must be broadly similar in terms of personality and serve parallel narrative roles simply because they're both muggleborn...]

the second piece of evidence for the two couples being intentional parallels is, however, slightly more persuasive. on paper, at least...

this is, of course, that idea that ron and hermione act like harry's "surrogate parents".

i do see why this is so widespread among the fandom [ron weasley, domestic god, my beloved], but it's a reading of the text which, i'll be honest, brings out the contrarian in me...

harry's character archetype is primarily the "everyman hero" - a hero who is perfectly, averagely normal in terms of talent, intellect, and appearance - who defeats a villain who is abnormal and exceptional. this is - obviously - one of the most common archetypes in the history of human storytelling, because it enables the people who read or hear those stories to see themselves in the protagonist, to root for them, to comfort themselves with the idea that evil people must be so unusual in terms of appearance or behaviour that they can be easily spotted, and to believe that ordinary people can triumph over evil.

but, nonetheless, harry is also required - like all heroes - to be special, and to be set apart from [and, indeed, above] all other characters in the series in terms of importance by virtue of this specialness.

[not least because the main hero-figure he resembles - especially in deathly hallows... is christ.]

in harry's case, his much-vaunted ability to love fulfils this requirement.

and we can see this narrative purpose affecting many of his relationships within the canon text - above all, in the way that he primarily views all the other characters with whom he interacts either as people he needs to keep safe from voldemort or people he needs to keep others safe from.

ginny is the primary victim of this tendency, especially at the end of half-blood prince, but ron and hermione experience it too - albeit in slightly more subtle ways...

for example, everything they ever know about harry's mission is at harry's own discretion - he notably doesn't trust them with several key aspects of it [above all, that he's a horcrux and that he's going to walk into the forest to die] within the canon narrative, and he generally holds the view that their interpretation of events is partial and wrong because they lack the special knowledge that he has as the series' singular hero [in particular, how he says several times in deathly hallows that neither of them understand voldemort as well as he does, and that's why they're so convinced that he'd have hidden a horcrux in the orphanage].

similarly, he insists throughout the series that following him - and following is the operative word - is dangerous to them. he never considers that being associated with them puts him in danger - because his narrative purpose is to be more important than they are in voldemort's hierarchy of interest.

[and, indeed, it's always really striking to me that deathly hallows heavily implies that voldemort doesn't have a clue who either of them are...]

ron and hermione certainly demonstrate many traits which can be associated with parent-child relationships - they are extremely loyal; they are [especially ron] extremely caring, including in domestic and pseudo-domestic ways. ron also provides harry with his greatest longing - the experience of a loving family - in a way which, superficially at least, mirrors james providing the same for sirius after he runs away from home.

but harry is - before the pre-epilogue end of deathly hallows - still set apart from the weasleys by virtue of his narrative specialness. we can see this throughout the series - in chamber of secrets, just after harry is astonished that everyone in the burrow likes him, his vastly different financial circumstances make him feel like there is a division between the weasleys and himself; in order of the phoenix, he initially aligns himself with the group who aren't family when visiting arthur in hospital, and is only brought into the family group at molly's insistence; he leaves ron's bedside in half-blood prince to make room for family visitors; he is adjacent to the family grief over both george's injury and fred's death in deathly hallows.

similarly, while james and sirius' relationship is set-up in canon as essentially fraternal, the same cannot be said of harry and ron. ron is narratively lesser than harry - he isn't as academically successful, or as good at quidditch, or as instantly recognisable, or as aspirational to get to know - and he is very aware of this, which is why his jealousy plays such a major role in the series.

[although it's worth saying, on a more positive note, that his and harry's relationship is genuinely close, mutually fulfilling, and nowhere near as codependent as james and sirius'...]

and so the apparently parental traits which ron and hermione display for harry actually reveal a power-dynamic which is very different from a pseudo-parent-child one - in which we would expect the parent-figures to consider their care for the child-figure to be their responsibility. instead, the dynamic is a [benevolent] master-servant [or, to return to the christ allegory, master-disciple] one - in which ron and hermione fill the role of harry's faithful retainers, who care for him, serve him, and follow him because it is their duty.

this doesn't mean that ron and hermione aren't more important to harry than other characters [ron - in particular - is harry's saint peter, the most important of the apostles, who doubts], but it does mean that they're subordinate to him within the narrative's hierarchy of power.

and this - obviously - is not the dynamic which existed between harry, james, and lily prior to his parents' deaths...

[aquaquadrant]

Hello! I've been told to ask you this =D

What do you think about Jimmy as a minecraft player, what is he?

It's for a project =3

ooh a project, how fun :0

i should preface this by saying i’m not the BEST person to give this opinion, cuz despite how much i write jimmy, i uh… don’t actually watch his pov? i haven’t seen any of empires (except the hermit’s crossover in s2), i don’t watch his streams, and i don’t watch the one-off vids he posts on his channel. most of my knowledge of jimmy comes from his appearances in other pov’s life series episodes and how ppl portray him in fandom.

howEVER, that said, i’m curious how my interpretation would line up with other ppl’s. i view minecraft players as generally fitting into a few broad categories- tho there can def be overlap between them or a jack-of-all-trades situation. and this prob applies more to people who actually play minecraft professionally (ie. ‘play video games for a living’) than the casual player (such as myself hagshdha).

builders: have a creative eye and practiced skill in building to the point where they can, generally speaking, throw down a decent build on the fly (things that require a lot of planning/detail work often drafted in creative mode first). have good understanding of achieving a certain shape and color with their block placements. may or may not include terraforming ability. generally drawn to the game’s building aspect and spend a lot of time/care making things look good.

redstoners: have an adequate amount of base knowledge for how most redstone components work and interact with each other, tho they may occasionally still use tutorials or take inspiration from others (can only reinvent the wheel so many times). usually capable of making simple redstone machines/contraptions on the fly. generally drawn to the game by the possibility of farms and automation. some take it to extreme game-breaking lengths (doc).

competitors: have highly-trained skill in areas such as PVP, parkour, and/or any other multiplayer server type minigame. think hypixel and MCC. this isn’t to say they don’t have their own solo worlds for building or other projects, or don’t participate in smps, but their main draw to the game initially was competitive multiplayer and it features heavily on their channels. to me, speed-runners/challenge-seekers are a subcategory of this.

explorer: this type doesn’t actually show up often in popular mcyt bc it’s a largely solitary- and in some ppl’s opinion, boring- experience. but these are the players that spend hours in their solo worlds just traveling around, mining out massive caves, or doing any other kind of repetitive grindy work as a manner of relaxation. some ppl really enjoy this aspect of minecraft and it’s a major draw for them. special mention for kurtjmac, a mcyter who’s spent 13 years and counting just walking to the farlands in an old version of the game (tho he does other things on his channel as well).

and now for what category i think jimmy fits best in (which again, doesn’t mean he can’t build or do other things). i don’t have a good name for it rn so i’m just gonna call it ‘the sillies’ (affectionate).

sillies: above all else, they’re here to have fun. most, if not all, of their content is on multiplayer worlds (both public servers and private smps), and on these worlds they are extremely social, making a concentrated effort to interact with others even if not legitimately roleplaying. high amounts of pranks and hijinks abound, as well as ‘committing to the bit.’ lots of videos feature them doing some kind of funny little challenge, game, or mod with their friends. again, that doesn’t mean they can’t engage w the other aspects of the game or be skilled in those categories, but generally, it’s not their main objective and not how they spend most of their time.

that’s what i’ve got! obviously u could split all of these into many subcategories, and your average player is gonna be fairly well-balanced. but for our pro cubitos, i think this is a nice way to categorizing things (and it at least makes sense in my mind).

[vickyvicarious]

I have a lot to talk about in this scene, boy oh boy. First of all, I love the character implications of Enoch's reaction here. He isn't happy at all at the reveal that Courtney was the one who actually killed Asman. The fact that he gets outright angry at her is so interesting. It reveals just how deeply he desires his revenge, and how emotionally driven his actions are despite his logical thinking. He's able to keep himself from outright confessing for a long time even when it's fairly clear what he's done, because he knows there's no actual proof and he doesn't want to implicate himself. He suppresses his pride again and again, hinging his defense on the pretense that he doesn't understand stuff or made dumb mistakes (his clients' designs, the scene in the graveyard, his claim to be a merely average student). But here, he can't hold himself back. He gets so mad, because in his eyes she has stolen his revenge out from under him, in much the same way she was one of those who helped to steal his future back then. It infuriates him.

And his word choice is super revealing too. He asks if she's been taking him for a fool first. Because that matters hugely to him. He is just fine playing the role of someone who is less intelligent (meaning only average rather than above, he never really tries to act outright dumb) because he knows that he is playing a role. Every time someone believes him about that, it's in the context of him successfully fooling them to get his way, it's him outsmarting them. He still has his Young Scientist award. He never got the formal qualifications or the career he aspired to, but he's always seen that as the fault of others. His own capabilities are something he has faith in. So the fact that not only did his murder plan fail to actually kill his target, but that Sithe has successfully lied to and fooled him makes him utterly furious. He's supposed to be the one who tricks others. He's not supposed to get tricked himself. It spits on his pride in his intellect, the one thing that has never been compromised.

So that's Drebber in isolation.

But I also want to talk about Sithe here. She also snaps, shouting and collapsing on to the podium. For someone usually so cool and collected, this is a big deal. And it confirms that she has a completely different set of priorities. She feels so weighed down, and has for years now. Exactly what went down back then is still unclear, but it's obvious that she has a deep sense of duty that she places even above her own wellbeing. Whether that is the Yard's reputation, her staff, or the secret from so long ago... she tries to keep it covered up and safe as much as she can. She's willing to break the law and even commit murder, and then eventually to admit to varying degrees of doing so, before she is willing to tell the truth. It's clear in this moment that she doesn't enjoy any of this. But she feels like she has to do it. I don't know if her motives are truly big-picture all the way down or if there is some element of coercion much deeper than what Drebber tried on her (something with her daughter, maybe?) but either way it is her duty to someone/something outside herself that dictates all her behavior.

I especially love noticing both of those things about each of them here, because on a more surface level they have a lot in common. They both have a really cool 'cold scientist' aesthetic, they both are very logical and mostly calm, very intellectual about what they say. They both have a scary smile. They share a very similar color pallete, with pale hair and skin, gold accents, black and white as the overwhelming colors in their clothes (just in reverse, with Drebber wearing black with a white tie, and Sithe wearing a white coat with darker clothes underneath). The way they both collapse forward onto their arms when overwhelmed is really similar. And they both do that here! But for very different reasons. Enoch is driven by emotion, by revenge and pride. Sithe is driven by duty, by protectiveness and burdens.

Drebber has a bad reputation but pride in himself, going in to this. Sithe had a good reputation but guilt weighing on her. And in this scene, that reverses at least a little. Drebber's proved correct about the events in the graveyard, and innocent of any actual murder... but he learns that he has been fooled. Sithe's proven to be corrupt and a murderer... but as a result, she no longer has to be responsible for the way things turn out anymore. It's not total in either case - Drebber still tried to kill Asman, and Sithe is still keeping secrets - but it's still super cool.

[princelylove]

My Prince,

If it would be to your liking, would you share your personal intelligence rankings, which you spoke of in the tags of a previous request, to the court?

Thank you, Your Highness.

Intelligence is classified by your ability to apply things you already know and the skills you already have. You can be bright but slow, or a quick thinker but lack experience. There's many things to take into account when talking about intelligence. This may not make sense, as I am a bit loopy from switching meds recently.

Loosely:

Giorno is obviously at the top. I think it's criminal that his intelligence is listed as a B on his stats. Giorno doesn't slack in any of the things I understand intelligence to be, he applies absolutely everything he has and somehow never misses. Giorno spent his entire childhood figuring social etiquette out the hard way, he's hard wired to figure out what to do and not to do as quickly as possible. To Giorno, survival means being the best of the best. Has he always been absolutely perfect? No. Has he always bounced back? Yes.

Trish is fairly young, it's a bit unfair to put her up against grown men. She takes after her father in many ways- one being how clever she is. She may not understand stands yet, or why she couldn't just stay home and never go out again, but she's very quick to adapt. Trish did well in high school, she had a high gpa and did lots of extracurricular activities, which just means that she's a hard worker. Her ability to adapt and her natural curiosity is what leads me to believe that she's on the higher end, it's just that she lacks experience pre canon. Post canon, she's a force to be reckoned with. A Trish that understands how to fully use her stand, how to do what her father did and make someone disappear entirely, and how to manipulate the public so they think her kidnapping victim lovely darling is on tour with her is a very dangerous Trish indeed. If this is strictly pre-canon, bump her down to the middle-lower end.

Some people may not like Guido being in the top three, but I'm fairly firm on it. Guido's a quick thinker and has managed to stay alive for this long. Does he understand things like infections and germs? Not really. Could he, if you explained it to him? Sure. Guido's street smart- he never went to college, but he reads a lot. He's a curious guy! If something interests him, he'll look into it. He's got great instincts and a ridiculous amount of luck, which isn't intelligence, but often will help him figure out what's going on. He checks for Sale's shadow under a truck, he yells at Narancia for not telling him the stove was on and it wasn't safe to fire his revolver. He knows what he's doing, even if it seems like he's just fucking around until something clicks. That's kinda scientific theory, isn't it? Fuck around and find out? Yeah, he gets it.

Pannacotta... the author Her Highness does not believe in IQ tests, as most people who claim to have a high IQ got it off of some online test made to stroke the quiz taker, but I believe Pannacotta is very intelligent. He's just not socially intelligent, which bumps Trish and Guido above him. He left behind his prissy, rich lifestyle in favor of being homeless for a little while before Bruno found him- he's left behind most manners and forgotten most unspoken rules. In this case, Trish and Guido outdo him. What worth does purely academic intelligence have if you cannot apply it, and it has nothing to do with the situation? Pannacotta is intelligent, but he isn't creative enough to apply what he has. Who makes a vaccine on the spot like that?????? If he wasn't so in his head all the time, he'd probably be a lot scarier. I mean, who thinks to put capsules in things you're not supposed to be touching anyway?

I think it's a bit silly to put Bruno so low when he is, in fact, an adult with a fully developed prefrontal cortex. I don't think Bruno is unintelligent at all, he's a man of average intelligence for his age. He's only so low because everyone above him is not average, even if they pretend to be. An older, more mature Pannacotta would have him in too many categories for comfort. Guido has him in reaction time and blind instinct, and while some may argue that isn't intelligence, it's applying what you've got. Bruno can be a little slow at times mentally, but never in combat. He pauses to make decisions that would take Giorno a split second. He makes mistakes that, although he makes up for later on, he still makes in the first place. He's formidable- he has experience and knows how to use it, but he's not very creative.

Narancia's not all there all of the time. It's not fair to say Narancia's stupid because he isn't good at math or academics in general, you can be smart and have weaknesses. But not Narancia. He's a little lacking. He doesn't try to make up for it at all, but he's figured some things out that he definitely shouldn't have before, saving him from dead last. Narancia has some crazy instincts, but he doesn't really know what to do with them. Instincts don't equal intelligence, but it helps. He'll take credit for anything you're willing to blame on him- FUCK yeah he figured out you're trying to escape 'cause you left some shit on the table. (He felt it in his tummy and got anxious that you're leaving him.)

Leone went through some schooling, but he barely passed. You could always argue that he was too depressed to do his work, but I personally don't believe so. Leone's slow and prone to picking the hard way- not because he's a masochist, but because he's been living off of going "Well, one of these is right." for the past three years. He's just happy he finally got a stable job. His instincts are terrible, his reaction time is shit, he has very slow realization in general- the list goes on. Does that mean you're getting off easy? Nope. He's still taller, and stronger. Doesn't take a lot of brains to pin someone, especially when it's muscle memory. Leone can bump himself up over Narancia eventually, but only because Narancia is emotionally stunted. You have him in the emotional maturity (aha. Leone and emotional maturity?) category, and what else? Get a grip. Leone knows how to do more- makeup and cosmetics is a skill, so is media literacy- but Nara's got him in reaction time, realizing that dots do in fact connect, and learning how to put you in your place at a faster rate.

[13eyond13]

a friend of mine who isn't into Death Note asked me why people ship Lawlight. I gave her a pretty good answer but I feel that couldn't encapsulate it fully and you are the most articulate/analyzer person I can think of here, can you help me?

omg, I'm flattered you think that, but a bit worried I won't be able to speak for everybody about this! I'll probably just have to mostly say why I like to ship it and hopefully that will suffice...

1) the constant tension and the mind games between them is the heart and soul of the series to me. Light's a complicated character that is both very entertaining to follow and also sort of an infuriating bastard to watch as well, so when L waltzes in being like "HOLD ON A MINUTE HERE I KNOW IT'S YOU AND I'M DEFINITELY GONNA PROVE IT" and Light both seems to get extremely excited about how clever he is and also horrified and determined not to lose, that makes for a very charged dynamic that keeps you on the edge of your seat. Light's curiously positive reactions to L opposing him, as well as the way L intuitively understands him and pushes his buttons so effectively, is definitely one of the funniest and most intriguing things to watch in the entire show.

2) there's a lot going on in the narrative to continuously draw parallels between them and to sort of suggest that they're the true equal and peer that the other one has never actually had their entire lives, the solution to the boredom and loneliness and aloof superiority they've both been feeling due to their above-average intelligence and privileged positions and ambitious competitive stubborn streaks and so on. People love that and also find it super tragic/angsty or fascinatingly ironic and darkly funny that they end up only meeting in an enemies, "you're the closest thing to a real friend I've ever had but one or the other of us will have to die" sort of way

3) This part of their relationship also gets me as well - they probably would not have easily met if Light HADN'T been Kira, because L never has to meet any of the people he works alongside nor any of the criminals he catches in person - Light was just good enough at being a criminal to force L to meet him in person, basically. And there's also no guarantee that if they DID meet in other circumstances that they would have clicked so weirdly well as they do, because their cat and mouse game was probably the best way they could both impress each other the most and prove their own intelligence and entertainingness to each other as well. The immense difficulty of setting up this ship so that it actually works is part of the enduring appeal to me.

4) I think there's just a lot of intrigue to how much is left unsaid between them the entire time. They literally never get to have an actual straightforward heart-to-heart even once in the story, but they're seen obsessively thinking about each other the entire time (and Light continues to do so for years after L's death, even to the point of comparing everyone else who opposes him to L unfavorably after his death and admitting he feels bored again now that L is gone). I think a lot of fans were kind of dying to see them interact in a more straight-forward way

5) the handcuffs are certainly fairly suggestive and kinky hahaha... and the memory loss arc definitely brings up a lot of interesting "what if" type scenarios in every shipper's mind. Not everybody is convinced that they really hate each other, and seeing them work together on the case like that causes a lot of people to think about how they might get along if Light had never picked up the notebook in the first place. The fandom has a lot of people who really like the idea of them together whenever Light isn't Kira, and also a lot of people who think their dynamic is superior and works better when Light IS Kira - and having both of these different dynamics between them presented to us in canon makes for even more interesting possibilities to explore

[stinkyme]

okay guys, this is not a malicious intent, nor me trying to be bitchy, but if you see requests are closed and still send in a request, it will make me a bit eh

I understand that everyone want to see their favorite character in a certain setting, and yes, I know I did some previous requests because I found them not pressurable at the moment, but then more requests immediately piled up right afterwards, even though I repeatedly said how they are closed + it's right above the ask box in capital letters

I try to write as much as I can, but at the same time, it makes me feel pressured and it's hard to write under a pressure of knowing there are people waiting for a writing, lol

If you say "i know your requests are closed, but" , you are actively ignoring me and a boundary I've set over and over again

I truly appreciate you enjoying and complimenting my writing, and I truly love making people happy if I can, and for those requests I have right now which is around 6 - I will do my best to do them in a decent time frame, depending on how inspired I am/how much time I have

Please keep in mind that I also write fairly longish fics (this may not be long for some, but for me it is given how much time and energy I spend + writing on the phone can be pain in the ass sometimes), on average 4-6k words, I am trying to always be as detailed as possible and I don't want that to change just so I would be quick in finishing. I also have ideas of my own that I wish to write, so please, don't request anymore until I say that requests are open :)

This is not against anyone, nor do I find people who request annoying or anything, I just ask for a little bit of respect and understanding :)

[h0neytalk]

Mango v. LingQ v. Anki

I’ve been using the above apps for a while now and I couldn’t find a ton of somewhat easy to understand comparisons/explanations of how to use these various cult favorites. I figured I would make one if anyone is wondering where to start or making a departure from Duolingo.

Standard langblr disclaimer: I am ultimately just a person on the internet, I’m not an expert in language learning or a world renowned polyglot. I’m not even an expert in any of these apps/programs. These are all just thoughts and opinions I have about the value of each app to myself as an average consumer trying to learn a language and intended to help other people decide where to spend their time.

Anki

Anki is an open source spaced repetition flashcard program. It has an incredibly loyal fan base of med students and people who just want to learn things. This is also the one I have the least experience with so I recommend diving into forums and other blogs who go in depth on all the ways you can use this program. The web version is completely free and there is an official paid mobile app. There are also unofficial paid apps, this is the source of great drama and discourse and I’m not touching that here. Spaced repetition essentially means that the program will present you with cards at intervals designed to maximize your retention. When you flip over a card, you have four options that boil down to: fail, hard, good, easy. This is how the program determines what to show you and when.

Key Features:

The main draw is obviously the spaced repetition system. It’s much easier and more effective than sorting manually.

Because it’s open source, there is a way to customize the settings and cards to do basically whatever you want. There are also tons of premade decks to import and either use as-is or use as a base.

The online web version is completely free.

You can add really any media type to the cards. You can add sound clips of pronunciations, images, even drawings and diagrams.

Having the four options is particularly useful for the nuances of learning a language. For example, for general vocabulary decks I’ll assign one “point” to general meaning, tense/part of speech, and pronunciation. Getting the general meaning but not the other two means I select “hard” when I flip the card.

Best uses:

Vocab or learning a new alphabet. Specifically for drilling any of those “slippery” words. I don’t know if this happens to anyone else, but there are some vocab words that just refuse to stick with me. I’ve found the Anki SRS does help pin them down.

Potential downsides:

While there are decks to import, there could always be errors that you won’t catch just seeing single vocab words with no context.

The available customization is labor intensive.

The UI for the official app and web version isn’t super slick and intuitive.

Even the best flashcards are ultimately just flashcards and have limits to their usefulness.

Mango

Mango is similar to Babbel or other programs that focus on speaking (and doing so quickly). I much prefer Mango to Babbel or any other similar app and find that it does what it says it will. Languages are split into units. Each unit has chapters and each chapter has lessons. A lesson will start with an optional pre quiz and a brief recording of a conversation that you will be able to follow by the end of the lesson. Each lesson concludes with a listening and reading quiz. It also utilizes spaced repetition and gives you daily flashcards to review.

You learn based on phrases rather than individual words. A long sentence will be presented in its entirety. The lesson will then go through each word individually before combining them into phrases and, finally, the full sentence from the start. Then you will learn vocabulary needed for variations. The activities are fairly standard for a language app: speaking, listening, multiple choice. You can also turn off the interactive feature and have the lesson run as a “speak and repeat” style podcast. It tracks the hours you’ve spent learning a language and there is an activity log, but no in depth stats.

Key features:

It is focused on speaking immediately.

Has a ton of languages and several dialects for those languages.

Focuses on phrases and patterns that are most useful if traveling or having brief, friendly interactions.

Presents information in a digestible way and isn’t overwhelming.

Includes culture and grammar notes.

$12.99 a month but most public libraries and schools give you free access. You can also set up a household account for multiple people and split the cost with friends/family.

The first lesson of any language is free, and some rare and indigenous languages are completely free to access.

Audio is native speakers. When you record yourself, your vocal wave pattern appears that you can compare with the native speaker.

Best uses:

If you are traveling soon and want to navigate basic, friendly interactions, this will get you there quick. Within 1-3 months easily, depending on the language and how often you practice.

I also recommend this as a starting place when you are totally new to a language or to learning a language in general. The structure is excellent for getting a feel for things.

This is also great if you studied a language previously and need to refresh your memory or get back into it.

Potential downsides:

The “record yourself” feature is fairly buggy and often freezes up. It can also be annoying to try and match the timing of the native speaker, but you don’t have to record audio to progress past those lesson points so it isn’t too much of an inconvenience.

It isn’t meant for total fluency. As stated, the lessons (at least that I have done) are focused on speaking while traveling and making small talk. Some of the early lessons teach you to say “sorry, I don’t speak [x]”. Which is very useful if going abroad soon, but less so if you would rather just be able to speak that language.

The regimented nature can make it feel slow/too easy if you are also using other methods.

The review flashcards only have a binary “yes/no” option which feels annoying for longer phrases or after using Anki-style cards.

With any course like this, you aren’t going to have much choice in the vocab you learn or prioritizing topics.

LingQ

I am honestly surprised I don’t see more about this. I think they have been making a bunch of updates recently so maybe the version I’m using is miles above previous ones, but it is shockingly powerful. It’s also the hardest to explain (which may be why I don’t see much written about it and why this is going to be a long section.) LingQ (pronounced “link”) operates on a hybrid comprehensible/massive input model. While Anki prioritizes memorization and Mango priorities speaking, LingQ focuses on comprehension and listening. LingQ is comprised of courses which are made up of lessons. There are pre-built courses made by LingQ but the real goal is to make your own (more on that later).

Each lesson within a course has an audio recording and a written transcript. Words you haven’t seen before are highlighted blue (when you start, that’s every word). You click the word to see the definition and assign it one of 5 statuses: ignore, new, recognized, familiar, learned, or known. “Ignore” is used for things like names or borrowed words, they won’t be counted in your stats. “Known” is for words you knew before seeing them. You likely won’t have any of these if you’re starting a new language with no prior experience. Levels 1-3 highlight the word yellow and it becomes a LingQ. You can create a LingQq using as many words as you want. You can manually change the status of a word when you see it. You can also do various review activities similar to Mango, and if you get a word right twice in a row it will automatically bump up a level. You can always adjust it back down if needed. LingQ is very focused on the value of listening to a language. You can add lessons to playlists and listen to them like a podcast.

My personal favorite part of LingQ is the ability to import lessons. Especially YouTube videos. The site has a browser extension that will import any content in your target language into a lesson as an embedded item. You can then read/listen to/watch that content right in the app and get “credit” for it. LingQ’s statistics are some of the coolest/most motivating I’ve seen. You get coins for completing tasks but those are really just to see a number get bigger. It also tracks the words you’ve read, how many words you know, the hours listened, and speaking/writing if you utilize their tutor marketplace or writing forum.

The free trial is very limited but it’s enough to poke around and get a feel for things before signing up, not necessarily to learn anything substantial. The monthly membership is $12.95 and there’s a $199 lifetime option as well. I definitely recommend spending some time playing around at the free level and then upping to monthly if you like it.

Key features:

The ability to import lessons. It will also create a simplified version of shorter content. This is an AI generated summary of whatever you’ve imported. I use this for videos where natural speaking cadence can make it hard to parse things sometimes. It’s easier/more productive if I know generally what’s going on.

The creation of LingQs. I just think it’s a really cool and useful way to approach comprehensible input. You can visually see the yellow fading as you understand more and more of a lesson.

You can export LingQs to Anki (theoretically). I’ve never done this myself and I’ve seen some forum posts saying it doesn’t work super well all the time but it is a built in feature.

In-depth stats tracking and the ability to consume all the content easily in app. The stats would be annoying if it wasn’t literally easier to watch a video via LingQ than on YouTube.

Community features. There are community challenges (like Duolingo) but also a forum to submit writing that will be corrected by native speakers and a marketplace of tutors to easily sign up for speaking lessons. The forum is free and volunteer based, but scrolling through I didn’t see anyone who didn’t have at least one reply. The tutors are paid at an hourly rate and you can also pay by the word to have them correct written work.

Super flexible. There really isn’t any one right way to use this app so you can structure it however you like and set your own goals/metrics.

Playlists and focus on listening. It really does help to constantly be immersed in what a language sounds like, and being able to read and listen to the same thing has been so nice.

Actually decently helpful emails and not just spam.

Best for:

Hardcore language learners. The app/site provides some guidance on how to get started and the basic idea, but you’ll need to play around with it and spend some time reading forum posts or the emails they send to find what works for you.

Getting to higher levels of fluency after maxing out other apps/self study methods.

People looking to spend a lot of time on language learning because they enjoy it. This isn’t snarky, but there’s a difference between wanting or needing to learn Spanish to communicate at work or on vacation and just really enjoying learning languages. This is an app for language nerds.

Potential downsides:

Very overwhelming. They technically say you can jump right in with 0 knowledge of a language and be good to go, but I think it would be hard to make a lot of progress unless you’ve learned other languages before. If you’re looking to learn a new language for the first time, I recommend starting with Mango to get your bearings.

Doesn’t teach new alphabets. This isn’t a huge issue for Mango since it’s speaking focused, but I wouldn’t jump into Arabic or Russian on LingQ without spending some time learning the alphabet with other methods.

User generated definitions. This is a double edged sword. The definitions being linked to sites like Globse can lead to wrong definitions, but because you’re seeing things in context it’s easier to catch. And looking into what a phrase means is a great way to learn if you are really into languages.

The import feature isn’t 100% perfect when it comes to videos. It will only create a transcript when the video has captions enabled or a transcript provided, otherwise it just shows up as an audio file. It will also sometimes randomly just not be able to import a video which can be annoying, but in the grand scheme of things these are very minor annoyances.

Time commitment. The method doesn’t require a ton of actively sitting down and reviewing vocab or reading new words, but it does assume that you’ll swap out listening to music or podcasts while going about your day with listening to content in your target language. This is all well and good unless you really enjoy listening to specific content while doing tasks or need help not getting distracted. It’s going to be a lot of incomprehensible noise for a while before you can parse it. This might not be a downside as much as something to keep in mind when considering how effective it’s going to be for you.

Not as active of a community. Maybe it’s just for my particular languages, but there definitely aren’t a ton of people actively doing things like challenges. This really doesn’t matter much to me but it could be a bummer if you’re looking for that.

tl;dr just tell me how to learn things

If you need to learn a new alphabet, start with that. Otherwise, Mango to get your bearings, Anki to add to your vocab as you get bored with Mango, and LingQ to realistically get “fluent”. Then start writing and speaking either using tutors or people you know or local language groups.

[magicalgirlpictureencyclopedia]

This has nothing do with the main page's agenda, but I need to make a distinction here for my own sanity. Yes, I will be using examples from mainly magical girl series.

No, it does not matter - but these two character types aren't the same, although on internet pages I see them grouped together.

Bifauxnen is a trope found in Japanese media where a girl, usually androgynous in appearance, is seen as elegant, charming, and is fawned over by many women in said universe (and even IRL by fans.) This trope's origins are rooted in series such as Rose of Versailles, where its titular character, Oscar François de Jarjeyes, is raised as a man, but is known to be female among many. Oscar herself took influences from the Takarazuka Revue performers, which I linked since the topic itself is fairly extensive. Please know the performers are all women as well, so do with that information what you will.

See? There's a clear difference.

They are usually lumped in with tomboys, which... isn't the same thing.

A tomboy, meanwhile, can look either feminine or masculine, but rarely is she androgynous to where telling their gender comes with difficulty. In many series, a tomboy still wears feminine clothing as well (ie schoolgirl uniforms, skirts, etc), which unless certain circumstances is moreso rare with the bifauxnen character archetype. I understand some of the confusion, as some similaritied can overlap. For example, tomboys and bifauxnen usually do not align straight with femininity, so using pronouns such as boku (僕) may be one. Both girls can also have short/long hair, be taller than average, and confuse the audience as to what exactly is going on thematically. However, it ignores that...

1.) The audience usually does not know at first that the character is, in fact, female. Several boxes may not tick for the viewers, such as higher voices, not wearing the girls' school uniform (in fact, some may wear a customized uniform or none at all. Even so, some do.)

2.) The bifauxnen in comparison appears to be older than their actual age.

3.) Bifauxnen characters take heavy inspiration from the Takarazuka Revue, whereas tomboys do not. Tomboys in anime can vary from just having short hair and not liking makeup, or a woman with more muscle mass, but it's no secret she's a woman.

So, I'm going to list some examples between the two below, as my post online via Twitter (the collage) shows up, but is blanked out. Sorry. 😅

Haruka Tenoh/Sailor Uranus - Sailor Moon S (1994)

Itsuki Myoudouin/Cure Sunshine - Heartcatch Precure! (2009)

Akira Tenjou/Cure Chocolat - Kira Kira Precure a la Mode (2017)

To help a bit more about how to tell the difference, and which characters are either tomboys or bifauxnen, here you go. I made small collages.

The girls above are tomboys, who are all from magical girl anime ranging from 1983-2012.

The girls here are bifauxnen, where at most I could use Utena, but most bifauxnen aren't in magical girl anime a lot as is. They pop up here and there, but not too often for me to make a collage. Maybe I'm forgetting some? I'm not entirely too sure.

[stellerssong]

Hi again. I'm on some level here to ask for a complete explanation of every aspect of Hawaiian culture that is even tangentially related to your latest fic because I know absolutely nothing and there is the ever present concern that the terms run through cursory Google Translate and internet searching will lose nuance and implications. There were definitely some references to divinities and myths and such that went over my unenlightened head. The story you wove was rich and intricate enough to be held in the mind of someone who knows less than nothing and still have great meaning and truth, but I know that it will mean yet more if I can see the threads you used to make it. (On another level, I'm asking for the explanation because I am abruptly deeply interested in a topic I had previously not thought about very much, and you seem to be significantly more of an expert than the average internet search.)

first off! well first off i am blowing you so many kisses for this very kind ask, thank you so much for giving me an excuse to ramble at (great, great, great) length.

so second off! i would just like to stress that i am very much not an expert in hawaiian language, folklore, history, culture, etc. i am neither kānaka maoli (native hawaiian) nor kamaʻāina (born in hawaiʻi although not necessarily of hawaiian ancestry), and i have not studied these topics formally/in a setting that applies academic rigor. i am an enthusiastic amateur with a personal connection to hawaiian culture, the kind of brain that likes to fixate on areas of interest, and a willingness to scrounge around for reading material. i have, i think, a decent sense of what some of the baseline texts in the field are, and a fairly good bullshit detector (and the understanding/ability to dig into things when i can't rely on the bullshit detector), but ultimately i am a layman and an outsider with corresponding perspectives and biases. i also, i will admit frankly, have a pretty sharp knowledge cutoff corresponding to the time of first european contact, just because of my own personal interests and reading preferences.

read that whole disclaimer? let your eyes glaze over while you skimmed it? good! here's my real quick (lmao) rundown of Sum Things U Should Know If You Wanna Close-Read Kīpuka:

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi 101

Good grief when I put it like that I do NOT feel qualified to tell you any of this. Anyway. We can keep it basic just so you can get a sense of the mouthfeel of the words. And just fyi ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi is the proper name of the language; i'll be using "Hawaiian" as the adjective form, sans ʻokina, assuming an English-speaking readership.

ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi as it is commonly rendered today has 13 letters: 5 vowels (A, E, I, O, and U) and 7 consonants (H, K, L, M, N, P, W), plus the ʻokina or glottal stop (that little apostrophe-lookin' dude at the beginning of the word ʻokina, also the source of most of my typesetting woes). Pronunciation-wise, there are no silent letters and no though/through/enough-type surprises: every letter is pronounced, and all of the vowel renderings are approximately equivalent to how you'd pronounce them in Spanish or Italian. Hence, the word kuahine = koo-ah-HEE-nay rather than, like, kyoo-ah-highn, which made me feel gross even just typing it out.

The ʻokina is pronounced, and bear with me here, like the dash in the english nuh-uh. or, if you're a try-hard vocalist—reattack the vowel after the ʻokina instead of eliding it to the vowel prior. So the place-name Kaʻū is pronounced ka-OO, as distinct from the word kau which is pronounced more like kow (which is a bit of an oversimplification of the latter word, but I'm trying to be efficient here).

That leads us neatly into the other diacritical marking used in ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi, the kahakō or macron which helpfully appears in its own name. No worries here; the kahakō just serves as a stress marker, so you'd say kahakō = ka-ha-KO instead of ka-HA-ko, or from the example above ka-OO rather than KA-oo.

There are a couple of other little pronunciation tricks here and there. The letter W is sometimes pronounced as a V, and unfortunately I can't really describe the rules for that shift; that is one I must admit I know mostly from vibes. For example, the correct pronunciation of Hawaiʻi itself is ha-VAI-ee, but I've never heard the place-name Waimea pronounced as anything but why-MEY-ah.

Occasionally you will encounter the letter K pronounced as a T, which I believe is an artifact of the morphological shift from older related languages such as Tahitian and Samoan which do preserve the letter T as a unique phoneme. To my knowledge, the Kauaʻi dialect (spoken today on Niʻihau) also preserves the T, but most spoken ʻŌlelo Hawaiʻi heard elsewhere is based on the Big Island dialect, which lacks the T. One notable exception is the word tūtū (an affectionate/respectful term for a grandparent or elder), which you really don't hear pronounced as kūkū.

Really, though, listening to Hawaiian music is how I got the language in my ear and imo it's the best way to get it in yours. Can't go wrong with Israel Kamakawiwoʻole (of "Somewhere Over the Rainbow" fame), but I have a personal soft spot for Kealiʻi Reichel, Weldon Kekauoha, Amy Hanaialiʻi, and the Cazimero Brothers.

The Place-y-ness of Hawaiian Literature

This is more of a sidenote than its own heading, but I'm the one driving the essay, and I think it's an interesting thing to point out, just because it helps establish a particular perspective I wanted to keep in mind while writing this fic.

Something you might notice as you start to look at Hawaiian oli, mele, and myth is the high level of specificity of place. Hawaiʻi is, let's be honest, not that enormous of a place when you consider it on a global scale—but the specificity of localities within Hawaiian literature is kind of astounding. Not only are there loads of place-names referenced in any given work, there are unique Hawaiian names for landmarks, cliffs, peaks, hills, streams, waterfalls—even rains and winds of specific locations merit their own names.

"kīpuka" is very specifically set on the windward side of Hawaiʻi island, so I made an effort to focus my references to place-names on that region—Hilo, ʻŌlaʻa, and Waiākea are all locations on the eastern side of the island, and the one reference to Kona on the leeward side reflects the coming of someone bearing grievances (in addition to eia aʻe ka makani Kona being an existing idiom warning the listener to watch out for an angry person, the windward and leeward sides of Hawaiʻi island have a long history of territorial warfare and jockeying for control of the island). I'd also considered having the bird discussed in the fic be a different species, the kākāwahie—but that species is/was endemic to Molokaʻi, and quite honestly my knowledge of the history and culture of Molokaʻi as a separate polity is not that great.

(This is partly due to sample bias—my introduction to Hawaiʻi was within a Big Island-based context. At the same time, another thing you may notice about the better-known source texts is that many of them center around Hawaiʻi island and, to a lesser extent, Maui, thanks to the political supremacy during the unification/post-contact era of Hawaiʻi island and Maui aliʻi. Ross Cordy wrote a whole ass book about the Oʻahu chiefdoms that is simply not to be had for love or money no matter how I search for it. I am THIS CLOSE to straight up cold emailing the man and being like I WILL VENMO YOU $75 USD DIRECTLY IF YOU WILL SIMPLY JUST SEND ME A COPY OF YOUR BOOK. PLEASE. SAVE ME ROSS CORDY.)

Girl (Gender Neutral), I Cannot Explain Hawaiian Mythology, Poetics, and Mythopoetics As a Subheading in One Post

Honestly. I can't do it. But some tidbits to assist your further research:

A great deal of Hawaiian literature and oral tradition hinges on kaona, roughly "allusion" or "metaphor." In a description that is useful to precisely no one but myself, it's not unlike the complex plays on words, puns, and deep well of references used in Heian Japanese epistolary poetry. Some of it is easy to grok for newbies: for example, the concept of one's lover as a lei adorning the body, or being splashed or sprinkled with water as a euphemism for sex. Some of it goes a lot deeper, relying on historical or folkloric place-name associations, puns, and ancient practices and superstitions.

The Hawaiian "pantheon" I place in scare quotes because ancient Hawaiian religious practices and superstition were highly syncretic, often extremely localized, and more contradictory the more you read into it. In a very, very, very, VERY rough and off-the-cuff sense, though, there were thought to be four major gods: Kāne (associated with dawn, the sun, the sky, running freshwater, and irrigation-based agriculture, among other things), Kanaloa (associated with the ocean, sea creatures, and sometimes death, as an opposing or complimentary force to Kāne), Lono (god of fertility, agriculture with something of an emphasis on dryland agriculture, rainfall, and peace as embodied in the Makahiki festival), and Kū (god of war, the deified kingship, fishermen, sorcery, and quite honestly a ton of other things in various manifestations).

There were also quite a large number of "lesser" gods, the word "lesser" used just in the sense that they weren't honored to the same extent as the four previously named in state-sanctioned religious practice. Probably the most well-known of these is Pele, the volcano goddess. (I reference another in the fic, Niolopua, god of sleep—but the jury's out on whether or not that refers to an actual god or is just metaphorical in the same way that most people think of "the Sandman" as a euphemism for sleep and not a literal guy who comes into your house and puts crusties in your eyes.)

The gods were thought to manifest in a variety of forms, called kino lau (literally "four hundred bodies"). You can think of this in the sense of "Lono takes on the shape of an albatross or a tropicbird to interact with mortals, while Kanaloa prefers to manifest as an octopus," and in stories kino lau are sometimes represented that way, but in practice it's less of a Greek myth-style practice of shapeshifting and more of an animistic religious belief. The kino lau in nature embody the god and in a metaphorical sense illustrate the interconnection between divine and earthly and the presence of the divine on earth.

(HUGE OVERSIMPLIFICATION. HUGE OVERSIMPLIFICATION. PLEASE DO MORE RESEARCH AND DO NOT TAKE ONE TUMBLR POST AT ITS WORD ON THIS.)

The Endless, in the fic, are very easy to loop into the concept of kino lau, because of their canonical universality. Danny appears as a shark (a symbol of chiefhood), a pueo, or Hawaiian owl (an 'aumakua, or ancestral guardian), a manu-o-Kū, or fairy tern (a bird associated with the god Kū, likely in his aspect as a god of fishermen, navigators, and wayfinders), a kalo plant (a staple crop of ancient Hawaiʻi, a kino lau of Kāne, and a symbol of duality and rebirth), and a snowcapped mountain (a sacred site considered kapu, or forbidden, to all but the highest chiefly individuals). Despair, meanwhile, appears as an ʻalae ʻula, or Hawaiian moorhen (another ʻaumakua, but also an animal whose cry was thought to foretell misfortune), a stingray (for her barbed tail), a hāpuʻu fern (in contrast to Dream's kalo, the hāpuʻu was considered a famine food), a lava flow and its first growths (acknowledging Pele as both a destroyer and a creator of land, just as Despair also embodies hope), and a number of other things meant to embody the devastation of Hawaiʻi (rats, feral pigs, and mosquitoes have decimated endemic birds and insects; the kiawe is an invasive plant species that forms dense, thorny, and difficult-to-destroy groves; light pollution affects behavior and migratory patterns of both avian and aquatic species).

All pretty simple, obviously!

Further Resources and Recs

Okay, so, obviously I'm not going to be able to explain every single reference in this fic in a single post, though I obviously tried my damnedest. In lieu of that, I'll offer some useful resources for further reading:

Stephen Trussel's Combined Hawaiian Dictionary is a fantastic resource for vocab that incorporates several major Hawaiian dictionaries in a straightforward (well, as straightforward as this gets) text-based web page. Ulukau also has a searchable interface, which is a little easier to interact with, but I like having the Trussel for reference.

Huapala is everyone's go-to for translations of Hawaiian lyrics. I've linked to it in the endnotes of the fic for readers interested in more on "Ka Ipo Lei Manu," but it's got nearly any ʻauana-style Hawaiian song you please, and if I recall correctly even a few traditional oli. Again, another slightly old-fashioned text-based site—but we all know how to use CMD + F in a page, do we not?

Native Books is awesome if you, like me, prefer reading things in print but would prefer not to feed your dollars into the maw of the Amazon beast. A lot of the lit on Hawaiʻi was printed either a long time ago or in very small releases and is now out-of-print and difficult to find even in libraries, so it rocks that there's an independent bookseller that specializes in getting those works to an audience in hard copy. @ NATIVE BOOKS PLEASE CONSIDER GETTING ROSS CORDY TO RE-PRINT THE RISE AND FALL OF THE OʻAHU KINGDOM THANK YOU SO MUCH. University of Hawaiʻi Press is also a good source for academic texts, although their website is...mm...difficult to navigate, and do be warned that they charge academic press prices.

In terms of who to read, you really can't go wrong with Mary Kawena Pukui, a Native Hawaiian scholar, author, composer, and educator whose work is the backbone of just, a fuckton of writing about Hawaiʻi, both academic and popular. Her book ʻŌlelo Noʻeau: Hawaiian Proverbs and Poetical Sayings is worth at least a skim just to get the feel of the Hawaiian mindset; it also contains a healthy dose of myth, folklore, and history in the explanations of the sayings. Absolutely adorably, I've found two books she edited that I read the absolute FUCK out of as a child available as PDFs through Ulukau: The Water of Kāne and Other Legends of the Hawaiian Islands and Hawaiʻi Island Legends: Pīkoi, Pele, and Others. Definitely worth a quick read if you want more on the myth side of things.

As a non-specialist, I've really enjoyed Patrick Vinton Kirch's writing on precontact Hawaiʻi. For a field archaeologist, his writing is both highly engaging and very respectful of the peoples he studies, and trust me, I do get my back up easily when it comes to white people writing about Other Cultures TM, so I'd posit it means something that he passes my sniff test. A Shark Going Inland is My Chief is a great overview of the history of the Hawaiian chiefdoms from the first settlement of the islands to immediately precontact, and Kuaʻāina Kahiko offers a bit of a closer look at everyday life in a specific locality in the islands (in this case, Kahikinui, Maui).

Kamehameha and His Warrior Kekūhaupiʻo by Stephen Desha (trans. Frances N. Frazier) began its life as a serialized Hawaiian-language history of the rise of Kamehameha I. It's a dense read, and it WILL test your ability to remember who the hell all these people are to its limit—it mostly discusses the lives and times of the major players of the aliʻi class in the late precontact–early postcontact era, and when you remember that a) a hell of a lot of personal names in this tale begin with the letter K and b) the aliʻi class of Hawaiʻi practiced a mindboggling amount of political marriage, consanguineous marriage, and sanctioned adoption between blood relatives, the family trees get real complicated REAL fast. If you can hang on through all that, though, it's an intensely detailed and very vivid portrait of a culture at a tumultuous moment, it gives a great sense of how the Hawaiians viewed themselves and the world, and it's an interesting exercise in the mythologizing of the Kamehameha dynasty.

Okay, So...?

So...if you hung on through all that, god DAMN are you dedicated. Have what is quite possibly my favorite Hawaiian song for your trouble. It is, funnily enough, about a bird.

EDIT: I am retroactively making this post unrebloggable. I'm really, really glad folks have found it interesting and are looking into the resources I shared, but I absolutely do not want this getting passed around as Hawaiian Culture 101. If you want to learn more about Hawaiʻi, I must stress that you should look to a reputable source and not some schmuck on Tumblr rambling about her effortposting fanned fiction.

[howtofightwrite]

There's also the robustly tested physics equationp=mvor momentum (p) is equal to mass (m) times velocity (v).Mean mass of a male population is reliably, and considerably higher than a female one, as is maximum velocity

So, first, a piece of advice, “equationp=mvor” is not a real physics equation, certainly not the F=MA one that you're trying to reference.

Now, do you understand how stupid citing this equation is in this situation?

First of all, F=MA, or P=MV, don't actually concern themselves with maximum velocity. If taken literally, “maximum velocity,” means a grain of sand striking with enough force to vaporize you. Since you can't vaporize people with your hands, I think it's safe to say your arms are moving a little bit slower.

“But, wait,” you cry, “girls are small!” And, you know what, that's true (sometimes.) The average weight of a woman in the US is ~167.6 lbs (this number is technically a little higher, because the data set I'm looking at is indexed by age.) In turn, the average male in the US weighs about 197.9lbs. But, there's a fatal problem with this thought process. You're not hitting people by leaping from passing buildings and slamming into them. You're (in theory) punching people. Now, this may be a shocking revelation, but your hand weighs a bit less than 200lbs. And by a bit less, I mean, on average about 1.2lbs. The average woman's hand weighs about 0.8 pounds. So, that sounds significant, right?

Well, not that much, actually. You see, when you sit down and start calculating something like F=MA, you're normally worried about calculating fairly chunky numbers, like that grain of sand example above, where if you try to solve for F when F=Mc... it doesn't matter, because c is goddamn infinite. (Technically, it's 3x10^8m/s, but the result is sufficiently extreme that, “infinite,” is close enough.)

So, what you've actually proven here... if a man steps off the curb in front of an uptown bus going 60mph, he will do more damage to it, than if a woman performed the same feat. Though, at that point, you're basically claiming you're an inferior fighter to such martial arts masters as, “a light pole,” “a slab of concrete,” “a mule deer,” and “an octogenarian oak tree.”

My money's on the mule deer.

While physics is important, we're talking about an object that weighs, on average, about 1lb, hitting another squishy sack of meat, traveling at about 15mph. But, there's a problem here, boxers frequently punch at speeds of up to 35mph. And if you remember the physics a moment ago, you'll remember that this is multiplied. Going off of simple raw kinetic force, that punch is going to be hitting over twice as hard. This eats the that .8lb vs 1.2lb average weight differential.

And it gets worse. Smaller martial artists and boxers find it much easier to reach even higher speeds. Small men and women, with a martial arts backgrounds have had strikes clocked at 45mph. At that point, they're basically tripling the force of their impact, before you try to account for their smaller hands, which still doesn't drag them below hitting with more than twice the force you can muster.

So how does this happen? Well, it's physics. It's easier to get a smaller object moving faster, than a larger one. F=MA, works both ways. The force you have to put in is related to the mass of the object and the desired speed. So, for a woman, it takes significantly less power to get their hand moving at speeds your muscles simply cannot match. Ironically, this is one place where smaller men do lose out, because, while their hands are smaller overall, they're still larger in relation to their body mass, than a woman's. (Each hand is ~0.65% of your weight if you're male, if you're female the average is ~0.5% So, if you have two 120lb fighters, with one being male and one being female, the woman's hands will be lighter than the man's. And, if their training is roughly equivalent, it's likely she'll still have an observable speed advantage.)

Also, in case anyone's wondering, the overall statistics for your arms exhibits similar sexual dimorphism; women's arms average about 5% of their total body, with men their average is about 5.7% of their total weight. (Those statistics are for each arm, so for women, about 10% of their total body weight is in their arms.)

Things get a little more interesting when you look at the legs, a larger portion of a woman's total weight is in her legs (~18.4%) versus men (16.7%). This creates a situation where the small man might have a marginal speed advantage for kicking.

There's something else I'm skimming over here, but it's important to remember when you try to dig out physics in combat: Fighting is not turn based. It's not like, “oh, the girl got to go first, but I'll hit her after her turn's over;” that never happens. A speed advantage frequently means you don't get to respond. You get hit, and then while you're trying to recover, you get hit again, and while you're trying to recover from that, you hit again. Until you are neutralized.

Any competent martial artist, with a practical background, will know how to neutralize you before you can figure out, “buh, wait, it's supposed to be my turn now.”

Now, physics does teach you something important in this situation, someone with a martial background (whether that's sports, recreational martial arts, or practical hand to hand training) will hit more than twice as hard as your untrained ass. That obliterates, your, “buh I'm bigger, I can hits harder,” margin. And as the cranial injuries stack up, and you start slipping out of consciousness, “but I'm bigger,” doesn't fucking matter.

-Starke

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