#and im gonna continue doing my own thing Regardless

[raayllum]

like in a perfect world 5x08 would have no consequences. finnegrin is dead, giving the spell didn't amount to any tangible harm, rayla's life was saved. callum did dark magic under circumstances that are understandable and sympathetic; the snake rattle is small and already dead. he, genuinely, did what he had to do.

but like, tdp is nothing but "your actions however good intentioned will often have disastrous consequences or not heal everything you wanted them to perfectly": the Show so like.

it's not looking good, particularly given a followup comment from aaron in this interview:

I will say, I'll add one more thing. Another way that the use of him using dark magic we’ll revisit is, do you think he's going to use dark magic again? What are the longterm consequences of that? How does that change him? Does he evolve past beyond the pale of the person [Rayla] knows and trusts or not? What, what does that character development and personal development mean to Callum? Is he going to go down that path or not? And what does that mean to their relationship, trust, friendship, etcetera?

[nerdie-faerie]

Why is it that when I'm sick, finishing work late because a load of people didn't show up and ongoing work drama, stressed about my upcoming essay and still have a hour walk before I can get home, my dad is apparently kicking off and threatening to kick me out when I'm not even there??

[tpwk-formula1]

It Was Obvious - LN4

Lando Norris x Fewtrell Twin reader

Summary: Lando and Y/N Fewtrell have been seeing each other since just before the season started, what happens when they all go on vacation for summer break and are forced to continue and try to hide their relationship.

TW - NOT EDITED, lowkey mad cheesy, some fluff, talks of slight anxiety, secret relationship

WC 1200+

Y/N POV

"Lando, he's going to kill us if he catches you in here," I whisper to my boyfriend of 6 months, who is currently in my room pulling me in for another kiss.

"I'm willing to fight," Lando whispers again before kissing me again. It was a rushed make out session knowing we didn't have much time making me feel like I was back in year 10 hiding my boyfriend from my parents. But instead of my parents not knowing it's my twin brother who just so happens to be Lando's best friend.

"I love you," I whisper when he pulls away. I see the light blush crawl up his neck before settling on his cheek showing that regardless of how long we have been together we still get the giddy feelings.

"I love you too," he whispers back before slipping out of my room presumably going to his or Max's.

It's not even ten minutes later before another knock rings out through my room making me think Lando is coming back in already..

"Come in," I call out not moving from my bad. When the door opens to reveal Pietra I relax slightly knowing I don't have to worry about my twin coming in and finding out the truth had it been Lando.

"I wanna talk to you," P tells me softly making me sit up and start to feel some anxiety sink in, not knowing what she wants to talk about.

"Im not picking sides in the divorce," I joke softly making her laugh and shake her head.

"I'm not breaking up with your brother," P tells me softly making me laugh cause I knew damn well she wasn't trying to talk to me about that.

"So you and Lando?" She asks with a smirk on her face. I instantly feel all the air in the room leave making it increasingly more difficult to breathe.

"Hey, hey, hey, calm down! I'm not here to get anyone in trouble. I just wanna know more information," P tells me softly when she notices the panic starting to take over my body.

"Please don't tell anyone," I whisper out not knowing how to to trust anyone right now.

"I won't tell anyone. I think it's something you and Lando will need to do on your own time," she tells me with a smile making me relax a little bit more.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asks me with a smile. I nod my head with a smile knowing I haven't been able to talk about my relationship with anyone but my mom.

"We started dating in February shortly after Max dragged you and I to that stupid golf thing. We had been talking before that but after Lando got wasted and couldn't take care of himself I went back home with him and pretty much babysat him until he went to sleep. The next morning he woke up and he set up a really cute brunch where he asked me out," I tell her with a smile making her smile with me.

"How did you figure it out?" I ask making her laugh out loud.

"Girl I love you to death but you guys are terrible at sneaking around. We've been here for for two days and everytime I can't find you, Lando just so happens to be missing as well, so I decided to spy on yall. Well kind of, I just so happened to be coming out of the bathroom when he was leaving your room and I truly wouldn't have thought anything of it but I was already suspecting you guys," she tells me making me nod.

"I think Lando and I are gonna make Max to lunch and tell him. I'm tired of lying to him and hiding my relationship," I tell her making her nod and smile.

"I think it's about time 'cause that was almost 7 months ago," she laughs out. I laughed with her happy to know she was happy for me and supported my relationship.

We're nearing the end of our trip and I have decided it was time. Keegan was already making jokes about us being together and thankfully Max was brushing them off as a joke but I'm sure he's going to start realizing the truth.

"Hey Max, I was wondering if you wanted to go to lunch later?" I ask softly not wanting to give too much information and try to pass it off as twin bonding.

"Ya, we could go to that one restaurant you've been begging to since we arrived," Max says with a laugh.

"I saw it on TikTok and it looked amazing," I reply back showing my excitement.

I make sure to text Lando the plan and while I plan to tell Max just us I want Lando nearby incase he wants to talk to both of us.

We're halfway through our meal when I finally drop my fork and clear my throat.

"I have to tell you something," I tell him making him drop his fork and roll his eyes jokingly.

"I knew you didn't just want to hang out with me," he jokes making both of us laugh.

"Ya, um but you have to promise to hear me out before getting upset," I tell him suttering in stress a little making him focus on me completely.

"So, please don't be upset but, landoandiareseeingeachother," I breath out in one breath talking too fast for anyone to understand.

"Try again and breathe this time," Max says trying to stay calm at the situation.

"Lando and I are dating," I tell him refusing to look at him. When I meet his eyes I he is giving me the most disbelief look possible.

"Are you kidding me?" Max asks in pure disbelief making me grow increasingly more nervous.

"I promise he's a good one," I quickly come to defend my partner.

"You thought I didn't know?" Max rephrases his statement making it clear he already knows.

"You knew!" I announce being quite a bit louder than I had hoped.

"I've known since Miami. I mean that confirmed it but I definitely caught on before that," Max tells me slightly stunned that I didn't realize.

"I wanted you to tell me when you were ready. Besides its been funny watching you and Lando try to sneak around all this time," Max tells me laughing slightly.

"So you don't care?" I ask him trying to get clarification. He just shook his head no.

"What about P?" I asked just getting curious to the situation now.

"What about her?" Max asks, clearly confused now.

"She came into my room earlier in the trip and asked me about it," I tell him, giving him some more detail about the conversation.

"Oh, no I didn't tell anyone I knew. Meaning she also caught on to your guy's terrible sneaking," Max laughs before adding, "Hell, even Keegan caught on."

I just laughed at that before sending Lando a quick text to let him know he could come in if he wanted. When he met us at the table Max explained to both of us how he caught on and when he realized we both had feelings for each other, which had been long before we started talking.

"Hey but if you break her heart I will pay Verstappen to take you out," Max tells Lando as we are walking back to the beach house we rented for the week.

That just made Lando laugh before telling him he wouldn't dare hurt me.

It was nice being able to spend the last few days of break not having to hide my relationship.

[going-to-ikea-for-the-fries]

It's a Match! || 141 x reader

[ The Prequel ] || [ Chapter 2 ]

Pairing: Gaz x Reader || 141 x gn!Reader Words: 1K~ Summary: While overcoming recent heartbreak, you decide to join Tinder in search of a rebound. Your friends advise to just Swipe Right indiscriminately... What happens when 4 soldiers from the same squad match with you?

Chapter 1: Kyle

All of last night you and your friends spent time tinkering with your profile, putting up the sexiest pics of you that you had, some of them from Instagram, some from your camera roll, and filling in all the fields of info you could… 

And then you started checking out the profiles, definitely judging and roasting the men that popped on your screen (blame the alcohol), but always swiping right, regardless of what you (or them) thought of the most recent man on the screen.

But, once they left, you turned off the notifications and alerts from the app and went to sleep. You had acquiesced to downloading the app and making a profile, but the last thing you wanted was to be on that app constantly and get bombarded with DMs and Likes/Super-Likes…

The next day came and went and, as you sat in your kitchen after work, unboxing your take-out boxes of dinner, your group chat pinged with a text from Leah.

leah: How's Tinder going? 👀

You bit your lip and sighed as you typed out a response:

you: haven’t touched it all day bc i was at work. leah: Better touch it then!!

Rolling your eyes, you set the phone down on the table again, and locked the screen, as you began stirring the noodles you bought with your chopsticks.

Mia joined not long after with her own opinion. 

mia: ive got a good feeling about today! ur gonna find a hot bloke i know it 🫶 im sending good energyyyy!

“Yeah, right…” You grumbled. But, once again, you acquiesced and clicked on the little flame-shaped app icon.

The app lagged at first, for a good 5 seconds, and then a bunch of DMs and Like notifications pinged your phone.

You couldn’t help but chuckle to yourself… Oh, how predictable men are… They see a picture showing just a bit more skin and they try to chat the person up. But, at the same time, it made you feel quite good…

You skim through the DMs you’ve already gotten, over 99 of them… And none of them tickled your fancy. Plenty of them were variations of “Oi.”, “Hey.”, “Hi.”... Not to mention the ones that were just directly asking you to meet up right from the get-go.

Returning to the groupchat, you text your friends a screenshot of the 99+ counter on both the DMs and the Likes, which causes them to break into cheers at you.

leah: Look at you!!!! mia: i knew it. you: not into any of them tho. mia: then go back to swiping girl!

Biting back a little groan, you returned to Tinder and flicked onto the Swiping page.

Surprisingly, now that you were alone (and kind of doing it against your will), it was a lot easier for you to not get lost over-analyzing the profiles and simply… mindlessly moving your finger.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Right.

Ew, that’s a catfish of a famous male model, Report.

Right.

Right.

Right.

“Kyle.” You said softly as you read the name on your screen. He looked adorable, with a squinted ‘the-sun-is-in-my-eyes’ smile. “29… A soldier… a Brummie…” You mused as you slipped a Chinese roll past your lips and chewed.

You took a screenshot of his profile and sent it quickly to your friends’ groupchat before you returned to Tinder. As you clicked through his photo gallery, you saw the push notifications pinging at the top of the screen.

leah: HE’S STUNNING! 😫 mia: 👀👀👀👀👀 mia: smash.

Chuckling, you continue going through his pictures. “Holiday photo, holiday photo, I seriously hope those are his nephews or something, mandatory picture in uniform, and… JESUS CHRIST, a warning would’ve been NICE?!” You said to no one in particular as your jaw dropped open and you almost dropped your Chinese roll. 

“Bloody hell… Is that sweat or baby oil?” You asked yourself as you looked at his slick, bare chest in the mirror selfie he uploaded. “And is he cupping his-” You stopped that train of thought before it could go too far from the station.

Clicking the arrow in the corner you finally brought his profile into full-screen and proceeded to find yourself chuckling at his bio. 

His pictures were all wonderful, he looked like a guy who took care of himself, and he was funny which was the best part. 

Taking a deep breath, you press the Green heart at the bottom. A squeal escapes your mouth when the phone screen suddenly changes to the darker ‘It’s a Match!’ screen with Kyle.

Your eyes widen in surprise and, just as you press the DM button, intent on coming up with something to message him, you notice it.

Kyle: bought some shoes from a drug dealer this morning. don’t know what he laced them with but I’ve been tripping over myself all day and now think ive finally fallen for you 👀

The cheesy pick-up line has you closing your eyes and exhaling through your nose. It’s starting off terribly… But he’s the first bloke you felt inclined to text… That has to mean something, doesn’t it?

you: you fell out of a helicopter… i dont think its the shoes. i’m starting to think ur just clumsy. Kyle: holy shit you’re not a bot! let’s goooo you: a bot? you really thought that? Kyle: when someone has posted pics as cute as yours you cant help but have that worry in the back of your mind 😅 Kyle: or that ur a catfish 🤷‍♂️ you: i promise you im neither. you: and thank you. you’re cute too. Kyle: thats exactly what a bot/catfish would say 🙄 you: well how would a human talk then?? Kyle: cant tell you bc then ur gonna machine learn and start doing it you: well then how else am i supposed to prove im not either?? Kyle: let me take you out. let me get a proper good look at you. you: was that all a ploy to invite me out?? 🫠 Kyle: first time on tinder? you: that obvious huh? Kyle: a little. Kyle: so is that a yes? you: I’ll think about it. Kyle: i can work with that. 🥴 Kyle: hmu whenever youd like. no pressure. 

Maybe you would hit him up later… Once you gained enough courage to go through with the whole ‘rebound’ thing.

Biting your lip, you click off the DMs and return to the Swiping page…

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

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taglist: @daisychainsinknots , @bunnysdaydreams , @iite-cool , @lahniu , @pagesfalling , @tapioca-milktea1978 , @live-love-be-unique , @thelaisydazy , @littleghosthunter , @bossva , @emotion-no-hot-yes-hotel-trivago , @chamomiletealeaf , @ghosts-hoe

[solarnomoon]

tame - nishimura riki

ni-ki always stood out to you, or atleast, in his own way. when you started noticing him more, it was easy to like him.

pairing >>> ni-ki x male reader

tags >>> college au, fluff, friends to lovers

warnings >>> swearing, substance usage, suggestive themes

wc >>> 3,073 words

author's note >>> ni-ki is just so freaking pretty i want to give him the biggest hug and never let go＼(≧▽≦)／ also js remember this is ooc also if you guys ever to just talk about random enhypen stuff or virtually anything im always down to talk n stuff anyway i hope u guys enjoy this one!! it kinda spawned out of nowhere and also all over the place so idk lol bye!!

it wasn’t like you to fall for a boy so easily. at least, not in the way that occurred, especially for a guy like nishimura riki. it was cheesy, to say the least: you two have been acquaintances since middle school, quite literally knowing each other for 6 years now, even now attending the same university (completely unintentional, of course). you always just kinda knew him as that lovely kid that was the same height as you, even throughout high school. don't get it twisted, you weren't that tall, but regardless of the fact, he was the same height.

the first time you saw him the summer after high school was at your orientation. you were placed in the 12th group, and when you reached the meeting spot, you noticed riki immediately, much, much taller than before, giving you two a height difference that wasn't present before. the second thing you noticed was the drop of his voice, which you discerned from his "yo, y/n!" coupled with a slight wave.

"ni-ki? what-" and before you even finished your sentence, the orientation leader interrupted, telling the group as a whole that they were about to start as you happened to be the last person they were waiting for. your conversation had to be put on halt until 20 minutes later where she began a tour of the school.

while you began to follow the group to the first destination, ni-ki reconvenes with you after speaking to a couple of the other group members, nudging your shoulder with his own to get your attention. "y/n, i didn't know you committed here? i thought you were gonna go to ucla for sure," he questions you with a voice of slight familiarity.

"no yeah, i was, but i thought about it and i just wanted to go here." he hums in acknowledgment, giving a few seconds of downtime before you begin to speak again. "dude, when did you become so tall? and have that deep ass voice? weren't we like basically the same height a few months ago?"

a few other differences were left unspoken but assumed nonetheless. first off, his hair, which historically was left black and much shorter throughout highschool, but now was longer with an ombré effect going from a light grey to black at the ends. secondly, his style, which flipped 180 from sweatpants and a normal shirt to something straight out of k-dramas. and lastly, his piercings, double lobes with a helix on both. or maybe one? point is, he looked good. too good.

he laughs, knowing this must come as a shocker to you because last time you checked, he was completely anew. "well for one, i turned 18 and was basically allowed to do whatever i wanted with my body. for some reason i went through a second puberty," he signals your height difference by putting his hand out flat at the top of your head and then bringing it to his, just shrugging. "also, i got a modeling job that allowed me to buy random ass clothes. so... yeah!"

your mouth slightly ajar combined with your head tilt let him know you were still in fact lost, so he continued on. "well, you know that dance group i've been in since a few years ago right?" the nod coming from your stature allowed him to finish the thought, "so basically some of the guys in that group like... told? their manager about me and gave me a chance to attend one of their casting calls, and i made the cut."

the group stops in front of the library, allowing you guys to sit down at one of the slabs nearby, half listening to your tour guide, but more focused on conversing with one another because you two had already toured the school when filling out college applications.

"wait, congrats ni-ki, that's insane!" you turn to him, giving him a quick cheeky smile with two thumbs up, and he just chuckles at you, putting his face into his hands at the sight of your cuteness playfulness. "what, did i say something wrong?"

"n-no, it's just... nevermind..." he tsks at you, not wanting to reveal the fact that he found you cute for a second.

you two continued to chat about anything and everything, eventually learning more about the guy that you would've never known previously. for one, he hates the color pink, even though all of his friends tell him that the color suits him—even his model designer thinks pink is his most suitable color. you also learned that the group that he's apart of, enhypen, is actually pretty popular on tiktok and youtube: garnishing over 4 million subs on youtube and 2 million followers on tiktok. he's also been with his group for multiple years now, and you even met some of them at sports events and stuff, like sunoo and jay.

other things include the fact that he has an older and a younger sister, he loves to dance, he likes to play piano, and one time he met jung ho-yeon before she was on squid game and he was so confused on why they looked so familiar, he thought they were long lost siblings or something. then he found out that she's korean.

he still believes it though...

soon enough, you guys find yourselves at the end of the orientation, having made friends with others, but especially between you two. you asked him if he could hang out during summer, but he has plans to go to japan the rest of summer, so you just plan to hang out during your time in college.

᧔◍᧓

the one thing that you didn't talk about was your rooming situation, so imagine your surprise when you're in the middle of your move-in, and in the hallway, you see ni-ki, walking into the suite right across from yours. "no fucking way, nishimura riki." you yell to him due to his headphones over his head, and he turns over and immediately puts a grin onto his face.

"y/n l/n." he puts his box down and walks over to you, embracing your smaller body, allowing you to practically melt in his scent and hug. once he lets you go, he just gazes at you, still smiling. "how have you been?" he leans against the wall in his cool-guy-esque fashion, but after talking with him the entirety of orientation, you know that he's a lot more of a nerd and introvert than he lets on.

"it's been good! honestly dude, i missed you." you don't miss the fact that his cheeks slightly flush with color, losing the eye contact that was previously held. "how was fucking japan, you looked like you had so much fun on your story and shit!" while asking, you point toward his box, silently questioning if you could come in and help him with his stuff while you updated each other.

while speaking, he brought you to his room that was surprisingly extremely decorated: full of neutrals and darker tones with some pop of color, many boxes and clothes on the floor but already pretty put together.

"wow, you're already way farther in the move-in than i am—i feel like there's just so much fucking stuff," you explain, taking a seat on his bed. you bounce on it a couple of times, mouth wide open by how comfortable it is. "wait, ni-ki, how did you do this?"

"mattress topper." he replies, placing his last box down on the floor and beginning to re-arrange his clothes onto the outside hanger he had bought. "looks like we're gonna be neighbors, y/n," he said in his deep tone, always catching you off-guard, but somehow giving you a tinge of butterflies in your stomach.

"yeah!" you chirp, excited to explore the newfound friendship with ni-ki.

᧔◍᧓

after the first month of university, many people in both of your guys' social circles had created a conceived notion around ni-ki: that he was a nonchalant, cool guy.

you knew this wasn't him at all though.

but you understood why people had thought that of the guy. for one, he's 6 foot something (he doesn't tell you his exact height just to tease the fact that he's much taller than you). next, he dresses stylistically as if every day is his last waking day. lastly, he loves to observe, and not talk much, but every time he did, he always had something witty or something flirtatious to say.

that is until people saw how he was whenever he was with you.

the cool guy persona had completely shifted into something more friendly, more recognizable as a regular person. ni-ki explained his day rapid-fire, telling you basically everything that happened, showed you a specific dance that he and his members had learned, or maybe gave you a sneak peek of what he was gonna wear to some fashion show. he also would tell you about his interests, the things he did on the side, even the people he met. when his friends saw how different he acted around you, they confronted him first, then confronted you after.

"what did ni-ki say?" you ask, wondering why he acts so different around yourself than other people.

"he just said that's how your dynamic was." heeseung had shrugged. "even though we've been members together for like 5 years now, i've never seen ni-ki open up this much to someone. it's like you guys are like... dating or something."

the sentiment gets a cough out of you, not expecting those words to come out of his mouth. "w-what?! of course not, we're just friends!" you deny frantically, waving your hands in front of him. "me and ni-ki are just friends."

just then, an arm wraps around your waist, a voice entering the conversation, "who's just friends?" ni-ki questions, smiling at you and heeseung.

of course, heeseung just looks at you, looks at the arm around your waist, then at ni-ki, and back to you. he raises his eyebrows and puckers his lips before walking away. ni-ki turns to you in confusion. "what's that all about?"

᧔◍᧓

as time went on, you and ni-ki had become exceptionally comfortable with one another, becoming each other's ride or dies. unfortunately for you though, it meant he had become increasingly flirtatious with you. you knew he was straight, he had explained his previous crushes to you and what he was looking for in a girl, but you on the other hand had fallen susceptible to his advances, convincing yourself that this is just what friends do.

on his birthday, he had brought you to smoke at the "top of the world," so he called it, which was literally just a trail that led you to the top of a scenic cliff. romantic, you thought, but you knew it was just out of you two becoming best friends.

"y/n-ie," he starts, the nickname sticking after calling you that one drunken night during halloween. "what do you think about teddy bears?"

you passed the joint back to him after taking a hit. "teddy bears? ni-ki, what the fuck are you on about??" the words come out a little too harsh for your liking, so you quickly follow-up, "sorry, i didn't mean it like that."

ni-ki gets up and turns to you. "that was kind of mean," he pouts, putting out his joint before putting back into the metallic holder he had thrifted. the taller had shifted slightly closer to you, wanting to lean his head on your shoulder. it was a little awkward due to the height difference, but the guy made it work, and it made you begin to sweat on your palms.

"sorry, ni-ki." even through the nervousness, you had half a mind to pretend like nothing's wrong, so you lean your head on top of his just barely. in case he questions it, then you could always play the ambiguity card: 'i didn't do anything, it was all you.'

"it's okay baby." he also started calling you that after thanksgiving, when he heard sunoo calling you it. he crossed his arms and wouldn't talk to you for the rest of the day until you came over to his room and asked you why sunoo called you baby and he couldn't, so after that it was a deal that he was allowed to.

you checked the time, which just hit 12 am. "oh, happy birthday ni-ki." you tell him, reaching from your tote bag for a smaller, paper bag within. you hand it to the guy, looking into his eyes for validation. "for you, it's not a bomb, i swear!"

he takes it from you and opens it, revealing two keychains that matched, alongside bracelets from his favorite brand. "y/n..." he trails off, not knowing what to say to you.

"i know, i know, the bracelets are expensive. but ni-ki, you're my best friend. i would do anything for you." you tell him, not wanting him to freak out.

the bracelets had been on his mind since the summer, you remembered from one of the random conversations that you had during orientation, and even though it was a long time ago, you knew he had been wanting them for months, but couldn't allocate the right funds to get it, especially because he was building his closet at the time.

"y/n... i... thank you." he finally stammers out, looking back at your eyes. even in the pale moonlight, you could discern the water in his eyes, but you knew that he hated when he cried, so you didn't say anything of it. "you remembered, huh?"

"uhh, duhh! of course i did," you joke, attempting to lighten the mood. you place your hand onto his shoulder to give him some comfort, but he takes that arm and uses it as leverage to push you onto your back, crawling on top of you. "w-woah, ni-ki?!" you yelp in surprise, not comprehending what just happened.

he just grins, placing his large hand on your face, rubbing your cheek softly. "y/n..."

little did he know though, this was your final straw. you couldn't take it anymore, the incessant flirting, the changes in his behavior around you, hell, even the constant sleepovers that he asked you all the time. so you did the only thing you could think of: run.

᧔◍᧓

of course it didn't really work though.

he was miles more athletic than you were, so he caught up to you within like 5 seconds which is honestly embarrassing on your behalf but you were too sad and a little turned on to even care.

"ni-ki, let go of me, i can't take this anymore!"

the taller just holds your arm, but the rest of his body was frantic, like he was afraid that if he let go he'd lose you for good. "w-what, y/n, what! you can't take what?!" he yells, not knowing what happened.

you twist your head around, looking at him like he grew a second head. "what do you mean, this! i can't take it, calling me nicknames and pet names, flirting with me constantly, sleeping over, acting different around me than your friends. friends don't do this, so you need to st-" and with that explanation, he gently grabs your head, leans down, flutters his eyes shut, and places his lips onto yours.

the scent you know and learned to love floods your senses, and with that brief moment of confusion, he grabs your waist and pulls you in closer, deepening the kiss. and considering this is all you've wanted for the past months, you allow him to take your lips, kissing him back with the same softness.

after moments pass you by, eventually he lets go of you, wanting to look at your reaction. "y/n, i really like you. i kinda... always have. even since we were in middle school." your mouth opens to say something, but you let him speak. "you were always so... cool. and i just... i wanted to be something to impress you... if i'm being honest, i knew you were going here, to this college, sun told me, so i wanted a chance, a possibility, anything to impress you."

he lets go of you, reaches into his pocket to fish out the matching bracelets. "these are beautiful y/n. but, it would be more beautiful if i could put this on you, use this as a courting gift even, and show you that i really do like you, and i want to be yours."

he unclasps the bracelet, handing out in front of him. "will you let me?" you reach your arm out, allowing him to put it on you.

"yes, nishimura riki."

᧔◍᧓

with that, nothing really changed. except for the fact that you and ni-ki are now dating, of course.

people around you realized that the cool nonchalant guy was ni-ki from the dance group enhypen, giving him massive amounts of popularity quickly (you didn't even know popularity in college existed...)

however, it also came to light the fact that you were dating ni-ki, and you slowly began to be known as y/n: the ni-ki tamer, which was crazy in your opinion, but ni-ki loved the title, so you let it slide.

other than that, you started to become integrated with the rest of enhypen, the rest of the members seeing how ni-ki changes when he's with you, but they realized it was for the better as you all hung out, as they saw a side of him that didn't even know existed.

you loved enhypen, they took you in as their own and integrated you into their friend group, even giving you free dance lessons just so you could also join in some of their choreos.

"guys," you pant, exhausted from the lesson ni-ki was giving you. "why did you not tell me that ni-ki is considered the best dancer in this fucking group? and why did you let me take lessons from him?" you complain to the rest of enhypen, who are watching from the sides.

"you have to suffer like we have," jake shouts while jungwon cheers for you.

sunoo and jay also just laugh, the former explaining, "i swear, before you, ni-ki was a fucking nightmare if we didn't get the choreo correct."

"alright, enough talking, more dancing, y/n, one more time."

you love ni-ki. but damn sometimes you regret falling for him.

...

nah, not really though.

[kcrossvine-art]

Hi friends! Just a day after this years Yule and a few days out from Christmas, regardless of what you celebrate during this winter months, we're gonna be cooking a tangy tango between two traditional english staples-

Yule Plum Pudding and Wassail from Lord of the Rings Online!

(You can find the cooking instructions and full ingredient list under the break-)

MY NAMES CROSS NOW LETS COOK LIKE ANIMALS

SO, “what goes in to this Yule Plum Pudding?” YOU MAY ASKPlum Pudding is not a "pudding" as us americans think of it; its closer to a fruitcake but less shit.

Cranberries

White raisins

Macerated prunes (in brandy)

Chopped candied peel

Blanched almonds

All-purpose flour

Cinnamon

Nutmeg

Cloves

Sugar

Breadcrumbs

Lemon zest

Unsalted butter

Eggs

Whole milk

Half a bottle of brandy

It also doesnt contain any capital-P plums! it actually does contain plums im so fucking stupid i never connected the dots that prunes were dried plums oh my god. But they still ued any dried fruit, and "Plum" here is just referring to any dried fruit. And what about the birth of todays wassail?

4 cooking apples

2 pears

Brown sugar

Cinnamon sticks

2 lemons

A bottle of sherry

The other half bottle of brandy

Wassail is very similar to apple cider drank in the fall, with a few differences like the addition of pears and different alcohol source. It was commonly drank while "wassailing" which was a Yuletide predecessor to christmas carolling. People would go door-to-door with a big bowl of wassail, play music, and give well wishes- offering drinks from the wassail in return for small gifts!

AND, “what does Yule Plum Pudding and Wassail taste like?” YOU MIGHT ASK

The puddings like a fruitcake but if a fruit cake tasted good and wasnt a brick

Its thick and rich, and somehow actually tastes like plum despite that not being intended or making sense

I love the macerated prunes so much. Juicy berries to forage for. Enrichment

The icings reminiscent of buttercream but more savory than sweet

The wassail is like drinking the golden edges off the clouds at sunset

Its got a little bit of the dryness from the sherry that makes your mouth water the moment you stop drinking it

You just want to keep drinking more to sate yourself

Even without eggs its surprisingly full bodied and thick

I had to make a few substitutions from traditional elements due to either being not available or too expensive, but with a little problem-solving nothing was too hard to do.

. Used a bundt cake pan instead of a pudding tin .  Suet (animal fat) was historically used for plum pudding. I couldnt find any and used butter instead . Used golden delicious apples when called for . Used concorde pears when called for . Some wassail recipes fold in egg whites before serving, to make the drink creamier. I didnt do this, but if you do, the recommendation to drink it fresh still stands (and strongly)

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I gotta admit, I was nervous approaching this recipe. Not only because I didn't own and couldnt find a "pudding tin" without ordering online, or because the concept of steaming a pastry(?) feels foreign and odd, but also because of how old and storied this dish is. You always run into the issue with historical foods who date back to the times where oral history was the only history. The issue of people being combative that their recipe is the only true variant of the recipe, and all the others are mucking the whole thing up.

Its good to remember that like with most dishes, cooking is something that evolved and continues to evolve overtime. Unless someones trying to rewrite history and claim that ants on a log is a creme brule in which case you should run them over with a '98 Pontiac Sunfire.

Theres a few things I'd do differently when cooking again, like chopping the blanched almonds. They were a bit too big when left whole. And adding some amount of heavy cream to the icing? Maybe? To give it a fluffier/milkier feel? But the proces of cooking itself was very straightforward and I have no real complaints or modifications to make. When having leftovers of the pudding it did seem to "mature" and taste better and better the more days i kept it in the fridge, so thats something to keep in mind! But it tastes great a day after all the same.

I give this recipe a solid 10/10 (with 1 being food that makes one physically sick and 10 being food that gives one a lust for life again.) Happy winter everyone! Congrats to another year of staying alive!

🐁 ORIGINAL RESIPPY TEXT BELOW 🐁

Yule Plum Pudding Ingredients:

16oz cranberries

12oz white raisins

9oz macerated prunes

4oz chopped candied peel (any fruit)

2oz blanched, chopped almonds

4oz all-purpose flour

Measure spices with your heart (cinnamon, nutmeg, and cloves)

8oz granulated sugar

8oz fresh white breadcrumbs

lemon zest (one lemon)

4oz grated unsalted butter

4 eggs

8oz whole milk

Pudding Icing Ingredients:

1½oz unsalted butter

1½oz all-purpose flour

10½oz whole milk

3oz granulated sugar

2 tablespoons brandy

Yule Plum Pudding Method:

A week before making, macerate your prunes in brandy.

Mix together all the dried fruit, peel, and almonds. Sieve flour and spices together then add to the fruit mixture along with the sugar, breadcrumbs, rind, and grated butter.

Beat eggs and then blend with 8oz of milk.

Stir the egg/milk mixture to incorporate into the dry ingredients. Add prunes, and stir some more.

Put batter into a well-buttered pudding basin, with parchment paper to cover.

Get a large pot and place a kitchen towel or something similar at the bottom- then place the pudding basin on top of the towel, inside the large pot.

Fill the outer pot with water until it’s halfway up the side, cover the pot with a lid (or foil).

Steam on the stovetop at 210f for 4-6 hours depending on size of pudding basin. If the water gets too low, add a bit more.

After steaming, uncover and allow to cool to room temperature. Do not remove it from the pudding basin! Cover with fresh parchment paper and foil and store in a cool, dry place for at least a day.

(optional) to reheat; steam for 40-80 minutes, until warmed through.

Pudding Icing Method:

Place butter in a medium saucepan with the flour, pour in the milk then whisk everything vigorously together over a medium heat.

As soon as it comes to simmering point and has thickened, turn the heat to its lowest setting, stir in the sugar, and let the sauce cook for 10 minutes.

Add the brandy and stir to mix. Keep warm until required.

Wassail Ingredients:

4 cooking apples

2 pears

Brown sugar

4 Cinammon sticks

2 lemon

1 bottle of Sherry

½ bottle of Brandy

Wassail Method:

Core the apples and pears, leave the rest intact, and set in a baking pan. Fill the hollow centers with brown sugar.

Add about an inch of water to the pan and bake at 350f for 30 minutes, or until the fruit is soft.

Move the fruit to a large pot, add a bottle of sherry, half a bottle of brandy, lemon peel, and 4 large cinnamon sticks. (Feel free to use less booze!)

Bring the pot to a simmer for about 45 minutes, stirring occasionally. Strain before serving!

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

This is pretty low stakes and no matter what, everyone likes each other a lot. So it's not a huge problem. But also, I'm steadfast on this...

I live with my sister a several roomates and we all consider each other family. It's a very cozy living situation. However, that doesnt mean we always get along and X and I butt heads on plenty of occasions.

X is a wonderful person but they're also extremely sensitive. They're autistic and dont like certain sounds or behaviors but also they run around screaming a lot or will walk up up and start talking randomly about something. I dont mind it, it can be really annoying when I'm trying to work but understand it and usually hear them out. However the running around screaming "CUM" and "I'M GONNA KILL YOU" can be pretty grating.

Anyways, I really like singing. I have a high soprano voice akin to a victorian childs ghost and I sing when I do the dishes and X haaaaates it. They always tell me to "fucking stop or I'll kill you" (they just speak in an extreme manner as a joke or out of habit it's not threatening just annoying) or "stop, I cant take it". I sometimes stop but sometimes I tell them to get over it because 1) they scream cum like 24/7 2) our other roomate sings until 3 am (deep husky voice very epic to celtic songs) and nobody complains and 3) idgaf. They tell me I'm mean and I tell them they're being overly sensitive, and then they say that they're autistic.

On one hand I understand that they have sensitivities, our other roomates and my sister are autistic as well and have certain things we need to keep in check. I also recognize that I can be overly harsh at times since they have a hard time understanding boundaries (I have issues with people touching me or invading my business so I have very short temper I that area). On the other hand they are the kind of person who cant take their own medicine, even if they're joking the CUM screaming and constant "I'm gonna kill you" really wears you down. I feel pretty justified in my snapping, like when they kept a walking into my room and caught me changing and said "why dont you put a curtain up?" (I had to reiterate that its MY ROOM!) Also when talking with my other roomates we dont have these kinds of problems and we understand what compromises we need to make.

Anyhow, I was singing These Are A Few Of My Favorite Things and X asked me not to because it gives her bad memories and I said I wouldnt, I sang a Neir song and X asked me not to because it's scary and I said alright, i was singing Lullaby of Birdland and X said something and I said GET OVER IT YOU SISSY and they got really sad. I was going to return to piano playing so I can learn Malo from Turn Of The Screw which is possibly the creepiest victorian child song you could sing, they probably wont like it but nowadays I just say "I literally dont care" and continue.

I know im really harsh and probably being rude but the double standards are very annoying and my other roomates think I'm fine. They say I'm mean but they think everything is mean. We are friends regardless. AITA

What are these acronyms?

[catgirlbussy]

im gonna do a lil sadpost, as a treat. if u dun wanna read that or interact or anything there's no harm done <3 it kinda feels nice sayin stuff into the void tbh, cause i know as i look out ill always see myself at minimum, and im still thankful. im alive. if someone can relate or whatever then thats a neat bonus ★

I'm not super sure how to formulate these thoughts, cause lots of it is just incompressible /feeling/. I've been on HRT for close to two years now, and modifying my internal physical landscape alongside the work I put in with the ways I've learned sharing benefit so far, like therapy and self-directed exploration of my emotions and the simple but vital practice of being more open with others about how I'm feeling, has uncovered a lot.

It's been overwhelmingly positive in so many ways. I don't have any regrets for starting this set of changes, even with full knowledge of the difficulties I've had rise as a result and that more are on the horizon, and also full awareness in that I will need to continue putting in the *good* work to care for myself and learn how to navigate the parts in my mind I'd kept hidden or obscured for so long. It's not /bad/, I feel so grateful to have this opportunity at all and I feel bounteous joys in this trove of beautiful experiences that, up 'till not too long ago, I never thought I'd be able to experience -- though I absolutely still dreamed of having them so vividly.

I have a lot of good graces in my life re: my transition. In a lot of ways I feel I've been exceedingly lucky. Canada has its fair share of problems without a doubt, but I also know full well there are a lot more places on our planet where it's much more difficult to be openly trans, let alone dangerous or lethal. I don't take that as an opportunity to rest, either, because having cracks forming in the firmament, letting in light to my dream of a world where trans experiences are accepted (and to note most thoroughly, I'm learning more of a lot of cultures in days gone by, /including some aspects of my own heritage/, having extended gender representations ingrained in their societal norms, some as far even to revere the dynamic and unique experience of existing beyond the gender binary in whatever way they saw as such) for **everyone** spurs in me an even deeper and impassioned drive to work in the ways I'm able to foster communication and connection while rebuking hostility so more and more beautiful, valid trans folks can experience respite and respect and safety as well.

I'm not wanting necessarily to change minds and upend the posture of society with this particular post, though, and so I hope you'll forgive me in my expressing my small, localised set of emotions in this moment. At the root of everything I experience I'm starting to get better at reminding myself that I'm a valid *individual person* in addition to being a contributor in the push for good and kindness for all.

It's probably telling that I feel the need to offer ~4 paragraphs as a disclaimer that I spend time learning about the global scale and am effortful in enacting progress there before just getting on with what I'm even feeling sad about. I don't see myself as a holy martyr for being nervous about expressing myself, but it seems more and more common evidently rather than by my hypothesis alone that many trans individuals would get by prior to exploring their gendered identity with burgeoning self-acceptance with a marked self-exclusionary behaviour when it came to opening themselves to emotional experience, regardless of any given instance being gendered or not. Until it becomes unmanageable, it feels easier to lock away senses of joy, sadness, etc. cause you can keep gettin on by in a sort of functional state and you tell yourself thats enough.

This is far from the worst thing I've come across so far, but I am feeling confused and the confusion is unique in its own way to the extent that I'm not even able to pin down how I /feel/ about feeling it. At its heart I can't seem to muster the right formulation of words to explain to others these particular experiences I'm having in my transition. Painting in broad strokes can be such disservice to the nuance for any individual's cluster of experiences, but tumblr if anything *for me* has brought much happiness in finding threads of commonality with others. Stark contrasts to my feelings of loneliness and seclusion from the world around me give me so much hope. I'm writing this partly in hopes that there is another one of those threads people might appreciate seeing. I do more than my fair share of journaling, but this one feels special and worth sharing right now, and so decadently I write these words for a community beyond myself.

To be blunted, perhaps I might phrase it by saying 'i feel sad about being happy.' It's that sort of absurdist perspective that helps me wrap my head around it a little better with how little sense it makes to my normal machinations. I'm not sad that I am having these new and thrilling experiences of adding or or changing parts of myself to live in the way I best see fit for who I am, but I feel sad because I don't know how to.

I get locked up at the slightest things. Someone compliments my nails, and its so hard to communicate efficiently the impossibly depthed importance this literally surficial act has for me. They aren't even painted well, but I painted them /myself/, I felt catharsis in exploring my love of artistic expression in the choice of colours, I rode high on the thrill of watching this new skill form in my own hands. The coat is uneven and I can't quite keep myself from getting knicks in places as they dry yet and I'm still practicing the nail care associated with maintaining healthy and resilient nails, but if I can be so bold to say, god forbid women do anything.

This person obviously wasn't chastising me for partaking in a traditionally "femininely-associated act", let alone that so thoroughly most things people take for gendered in no way innately are, the whole binary supposition is a damned myth. But because of how I was brought up and the mindset I was taught to have before I fought to think for myself instead, this was a joy I'd always admired but felt I was abhorrent for wanting to partake in. Absolutely anyone who feels otherwise can irrevocably go fuck themselves if they aren't willing to examine the falsity of the foundational thoughts they 'think' they have leading them to ever want someone to abstain from such a viscerally unobstructive and innocuous form of self exploration and creativity bexause it's "for girls". This goes for anything. For anyone. Idc who you are or what label you wanna use at any given moment, go explore. Live life. God fuck do we need people to just experience joy in some ways so we aren't so incorrigible and hostile towards eachother.

But you don't stop whoever took 15 seconds out of their say to mention to you they like the colour and wanted you to know to discurse at length upon the structural bastardisation of who people are allowed to be, cause more than any of that I just want to feel happy about it.

I literally stutter out whatever form of thanks my malformed emotionally-communicative faculties can muster in this surprise and try not to start sobbing in the grocery store aisle or whatever. It's so /good/, and it's so frustrating that I don't even know how to just process and appreciate that it is.

I was so much an absentee in my own bodied self that I could not fathom an understanding of what gender euphoria was until it snuck up smashed me in the teeth. I didn't have any basis of understanding for what it was really like to be happy about some part of myself.

Despite my loneliness I have still had the experiences of friendships, people caring about me, and relationships where a partner genuinely appreciated parts of me, physical, mental, emotional, whatever. More now than ever I am having those experiences as I learn to come out of my cloister inside my head. But this time I'm not just numb to everything. Sure, as I'm learning to not just be unilaterally numb until my bastion of self-isolation fails and I break there is abundance of pain, but the pain I honestly prefer. It's more vivid than it's ever been before, but I can benchmark that I'm still alive by its contrast to neutrality. It's familiar, and my mechanisms of clutching my emotions into my soul can still carry me forward as I try to figure things out. But fuck me is it ever hard to have a happy experience and not know how to communicate that it tore my sense of stability in those moments to shreds. To lose the composure that carried me for so many years because someone sought to share something with me they thought I'd appreciate because they care about me feels so counterproductive to just enjoying the absolute gift that experience is.

Abstractly, as I'm wont to do to a remarkably self-apparent fault, I can tell myself that these things take time. Human emotion is so complex, and its panoply of shifting lights glinting as the facets move their positioning relative to the light of being alive is what drives me to do art, and it always has been, contradictory so fully to my desire to lock everything away. I can't circumnavigate multiple decades of trauma and be free and unfettered in my senses in an instant just because I'm aware it's possible. And so I try so fucking hard not to just sit down and cry in that grocery store aisle, cause it hurts so bad to be happy.

How dare I find glints of good in the polluted landscape we live in. But that mindset helps nothing. People striving to live amidst turmoil is what makes life worth living. There will always be strife, but there will always be the possibility for hope alongside it.

Without fail, each night I'll self-soothe myself into a mode of somewhat-restfulness imagining what it would be like to trust myself enough to be imperfect and let someone hold me. It's the only thing I do anymore. It even backfires sometimes and I just waking-dream my way through countless blissful scenarios about what it would be like if that cute girl I've been starting to become friends with mentioned she wanted to hold my hand for hours until the sun comes up and I know I won't have any sleep at all. It's so goddamn worth it. I revel in it, because at least in the theatre of my mind I can find small ways of letting myself feel those joys. They aren't really happening. It's my own hand rubbing a thumb gently along my collarbone in a faux affection. But it's the only way I've found that's not so obstructively blinding in intensity for me to practice what it would be like to be close to others.

I still lose my sense of self so often. I find bruises from where I bumped into things and wholesale didn't notice until the tiredness sets in and I can't autonomously ignore how sore I am. I dive effortlessly into the placid waters of dissociation when someone gives me a hug, despite that being what I have dreamed of for so many years during my self-imposed isolation. Someone tells me they like an art piece I've made and I stopper any sense of pride or appreciation for their kind words despite pouring however much time channeling my slowly uncoiling understanding of reality into every particle of it and wishing that my experiences could convey any amount of any feeling whatsoever to another living being with the entirely selfish act of wanting that I feel like I had a real connection.

I can't get by with chainsmoking and shelf-set pain medications and blind ignorance any more. I can't ignore how badly I want to feel. I am figuring it out instant by instant and it scares me horribly. One day my yearnings for closeness will be actualised because I'll be ready to open when they come. My selfsense-extracted mutterings of the hypothetical joys of being pressed down into sheets and kissed because someone deigned to gift me with attention for they hold appreciation of this newly forming, ill-configured, but ultimately revelatory feminine self I'm becoming will no longer be fiction and prose but the rawness of experience that I, once, and then more, can lose myself into without terror thay I'm inadequate and never truly worth it. Someone will touch my breasts and love me for loving them myself and I'll give in to the annihilating instant where I am no longer a sense of self but just am. This body is not me but my, and I will scrape and fight however I can muster to live vicariously thru it because that is what I am meant to do by being here alive at all. If anything ever again I want to feel what love is like.

I'm not even reading this back to see if it conveys properly let alone makes sense at all. I'm exhausted and in so much pain. If you read this, thanks, and, if you can, go hug someone you love today.

[wisteria-cherry]

forty days and forty nights (day thirty-eight!)

(guys im so sorry it’s late😭😭)

the next day was a relief. after being in the house all day yesterday, you were getting restless, despite it being your own decision— what would your boss say if she found you out and about despite you saying you wanted the day off to recover from a semi-traumatic experience? no way you were willing to risk it.

by the next day, you’d taken off again; you knew there was no way you’d stay at home now that you had a date with katsuki. katsuki was going to pick you up at 4am, which was ghastly, but you figured that it must be worth it. katsuki wasn’t one to half-ass things, you knew that much.

you roll out of bed after hitting snooze about a million times, finally trudging over to your closet and throwing on an outfit— comfy yet cute. katsuki was adamant about not telling you the destination, which made it much harder to dress for, much to your annoyance. regardless, once you were dressed, you made your way to the kitchen, sifting through the fridge, finding an apple to munch on and call breakfast, knowing full well that katsuki would nag you about how it isn’t sufficient. so, to make up for it (and give yourself leverage for when katsuki would inevitably comment on your breakfast), you pour yourself a bowl of cereal.

half an hour later, katsuki’s sharp knock caught your ears. he let himself in, allowing you to work on your bowl of cereal, which you hadn’t finished yet, because your apple took longer than you’d expected to eat, since you kept finding little things around your apartment, like finding an empty wrapper behind the coffee machine on the counter or noticing that there was a feather sticking out of your pillow, so you had to pull all the feathers out.

“coming in.” katsuki called, opening the door. “hey, dumbass.”

“mm!” your eyes widen, your mouth full of cocoa pebbles. you quickly finish your bite before continuing. “katsuki, is it time to leave already?”

“naw, ten minutes.” katsuki sat down next to you, staring at your cocoa pebbles critically.

“are you judging my cereal?” you turn to look at him with a skeptical look. katsuki looked back at his hands, folded and resting on the countertop.

“yer gonna want more than that.” he warned.

“i had an apple, too.” you inform him matter-of-factly.

“we’re goin’ hiking. yer gonna want more.” katsuki repeated. hiking. no wonder you were up so damn early.

“it’s almost time to go, though.” you frown slightly, drinking the chocolate milk and setting the bowl in the sink. katsuki glanced at his watch.

“…there’s a bakery on the way to the trail. we can hit it up if you wanna. on me.” katsuki said finally. “order ahead and whatever.”

“okay.” you agree.

you do indeed hit up the bakery, and you get a sandwich. you’re very grateful for that sandwich, because, as you soon discover, the trail he had in mind was a whole ass mountain.

“this thing is massive.” you marvel. “we’re not gonna climb the whole thing, are we?”

“duh, we’re climbing the whole thing.” katsuki snorted.

katsuki wasn’t kidding.

however, halfway up the mountain, you found yourself completely spent— which was fair! it was a big ass mountain! regardless, you had to ask for a break.

“katsuki—“ you say between breaths. “i have to stop.”

“hah? we’re only halfway.” katsuki narrowed his eyes.

“we’re not all pro heroes with greek god bodies.” you gasp out. “shoot, i have to sit.” you finally sit down on the ground, dry leaves and pine needles providing a crunchy (but cushiony) seat and tugging your coat tighter around your body. katsuki surveyed the area.

“get back up, i know a spot.” katsuki grunted.

“but i just sat down,” you protest, but stand up anyway, following him. he was going along the side of the mountain, you noticed, not up, so it was significantly easier to walk.

katsuki lead you through the trees into a cleaning— a beautiful one. it was more so a rocky slope than anything, but big boulders provided front-row seats to the most beautiful sunrise you’d ever seen.

“we weren’t gonna make it to the top in time, anyway.” katsuki informed you, before sitting down on a flatter boulder that would be easier to sit on. you would have brought a picnic basket if you knew this was where you were going. “hurry up and sit down, dumbass.” then, almost as if katsuki had read your thoughts, he begins pulling containers out of his massive hiking backpack.

“wait, did you cook?” you ask eagerly, sitting down next to him. there were two thermoses, and you noticed some of the tupperware were steamed up on the inside— meaning, he’d made warm food, perfect for the chilly morning.

“obviously.” katsuki snorted. “dig in.” you curiously open one of the thermoses, inhaling deeply. miso. katsuki passed you a spoon, and you happily pour some into the thermos cap. salty and smooth, the miso was perfect.

“so this is why you had be up so early.” you muse, gazing at the sunrise. it was a picture perfect date, really. the sun painted the sky pink and orange and yellow, and the crisp autumn air mixed with the smell of deliciously cooked food, all paired with katsuki, made you want to stop time in its place and live this way forever.

“no shit. wanted ta do somethin’ special.” katsuki grumbled.

“all this for one date? you’re setting my standards really high, y’know.” you joke.

“then i’ll meet ‘em. hell, more than meet ‘em, i’m gonna blow ‘em outta the water.” katsuki looked toward you, his lips twitching up, daring to become a smirk.

“so there’ll be more?” you ask, half jokingly, half seriously.

“yeah. i want’cha to be mine.” katsuki stared straight ahead, his hands clenching into fists.

“you mean-“

“yes, i’m asking you to be my girlfriend, goddammit!” katsuki snapped, now looking away. you grin. his ears were pink.

“okay.”

“hah?” katsuki turned back to face you. either he couldn’t believe it, or he just couldn’t hear you. either one was plausible, but it was cute nonetheless, seeing his pink cheeks getting pinker and his pretty red eyes glaring at you.

“yes, i’ll be your girlfriend.”

“then i’ll meet ‘em. hell, more than meet ‘em, i’m gonna blow ‘em outta the water.”

(feel free to comment + leave your thoughts!)

tags: @kazuumii @k0z3me @stevenknightmarc @failingstudents-blog @faerikitty @cherryblossomclarity @deathsmajestysworld

[eundiarys]

02. sweet stranger

genre : idol! au, fake dating au to actually really dating, fluff, no angst i think!!!!! maybe, my humor sorry

warnings : mentions of drinking, and yn being a little sad and taehyun comforts her :3 that’s it i think..

summary : in which — yn who just debuted gets into a dating scandal with one of the most famous group members because of a misunderstanding and is forced to fake date with him. what happens if it isn’t as bad as she thinks? and and what if she finds comfort with him?

“the total is 10,000 won. thank you for shopping with us.”

you gave the cashier the money and walked out the store. you needed some fresh air to ease up. you felt too nervous about your debut. but hey, what can a drink not fix?

you sat down outside the store and started drinking. very immature of you, drinking your worries away. but you don’t know who to talk too other than the members.

you felt a tear fall down your cheek. but rather than wiping it away, you chose to ignore it and continue drinking.

you were pulled back into reality when you heard a voice. “excuse me? are you okay?” he says.

you turned to your side to see a tall guy with messy pink-ish blonde hair and big eyes. that’s the only thing you could see on his face since he was wearing a mask. he must think im crazy.

“oh um. im fine, thanks for asking.”

silence filled the atmosphere. you thought he’d leave but when you peeked at the side you can still see him standing there.

is he a ghost or something oh my god am i dying before i even get to debut???? please, i can’t waste my two years like that! i haven’t even been to a twice concert!

but to your suprise, he actually sat down beside you. he opened his mask and also took out a drink, and placed it on the table. you looked up to him, confused.

“you can talk to me. you don’t have to be embarrassed cause you don’t know me. im sure talking to someone will make you feel atleast slightly relieved.” you could tell that he was giving you a small smile because his big doe eyes grew smaller as he smiled.

“umm.. well i don’t know where to start.” you replied, voice lower than before.

“i don’t mind. take your time.”

“okay um i can’t tell you my real situation right now but i’ll use like a psychology or whatever you call it.”

“do you mean analogy?” he chuckled softly. you hid your face out of embarassment.

“yeah. that. so okay its like im joining a team or something but im scared at how other people will think of us. i don’t want them to look bad just because people don’t like me you know? like i don’t want them to lose popularity. or something. so im worried about public’s opinion and stuff.”

“you make it sound like you’re an idol debuting in a group thats well known and you’re scared netizens won’t like you and it’ll effect the group.”

thats exactly my situation. i hate smart people sometimes. “eh, who knows. i might be”

“sure you are. well, i think that you shouldn’t worry about this.”

“thats easy to say” you sighed.

“im not finished. i get it that you’re worried but im sure people will like you as long as you’re not rude or something. why should people care if you join the group or not? they don’t know you. im sure you’re an amazing person with an amazing personality and that they will love you.”

“oh wow. thanks” you gave him a small chuckle.

“what? im not really good at giving advices. but i am trying to comfort you..”

“and i really appreciate it. thank you ... ???”

“taehyun. im taehyun” he says.

“thank you, taehyun. i mean it. im sorry but i’ll go now, my friends are gonna be worried if i come home late.”

“of course. do you need me to talk you home?” he offers, but you kindly reject. you both gave eachother your goodbyes and went to your own ways.

while walking home, you felt relief wash over you. you thought about how sweet it was of him to comfort you, regardless you guys not knowing eachother. he stayed and comforted you even though he does not even know your name.

you hoped to see him again. and next time hopefully not crying.

masterlist ʚ♡ɞ next

authors note , HOW WAS THIS WRITTEN CHAPTER?? plz give feedbacks, i don’t rly like it but its okay, i’ll get better. Well. hopefully :/

taglist , @kiribirien @wccycc @hanniluvi @imhuh @ashxxkook @yeniiverse @suburbiataehyung @eveyi (thank you for reading!)

[masquayla-the-splendid]

Some things from Twitter I grabbed from the limited amount of time SatAM was trending.

Thank you, team SatAM Reanimated. This is why I took 4 parts in that collab.

I think some need to realize localization does not equal bad. I can get behind "he's almost like a fairytale creature in that regard," but AM's "rad dude" contrasts more heavily with Mario at the time, I feel.

[More below cut]

Ex of localization: In Splatoon's Salmon Run, Mr Grizz is supposed to be the shady boss of the job you're working. The characteristics of a shady boss differ between cultures. In JP, he is characterized as overly nice and forgiving. In AM, he is characterized as ruthless, unforgiving, and rough, with the occasional compliment to keep you motivated. Either way, both cultures get the idea that something is fishy with this guy.

Bringing it back to Sonic, in both continuities, he is characterized as a carefree do-gooder with an attitude, more or less. He is cool. However, like the Splatoon example, he is given multiple ways to portray this to the right audience.

People have their aesthetic preferences, and it is incredibly convenient that we are able to communicate information across the globe, so we now know of these different interpretations, and can pick which one we like. It'd be one thing if that weren't the case, then I'd understand why people would be upset, because these interps would be gatekept from everyone else.

This one I thought was funnier than the original. It's generalized. (That's the Archie comic font iirc. 🤓)

It reminds me of how many Sonic copycats there were around the mid-late 90s because of how successful of a character he was.

The drawing on the left reminds me of some arcade collection games I played on my Xbox as a kid.

That also reminds me how many people who defend SatAM are 90s kids. This was their first impression, and they love it. I'm the oddball youngin who so happened to prefer this version after typing "Sonic Cartoon" into YouTube in the year 2013, but it makes me wonder how old are these lil petty babies who have nothing better to do than complain about a cartoon animal? (Trust me, you are going to look pathetic regardless of your answer.)

This one took me by surprise! Talk about sabotaging a Sonic story! I don't like this guy too much, but he is occasionally a credible source. I feel like that's the case in more recent times than say at least 10 years ago. This one you can take his word for, as there are mutple pieces of evidence to support this. (Im not your mom, do your own research. The feds wont be after you if you type "SatAM production history" into your search bar.) The first sentence is a full on mood. It felt like Lily Orchard's "Steven Universe is Garbage, Here's Why" video, and 90% of it is them struggling with story comprehension and changing their opinion every 5 minutes.

Anyway, I'm gonna go draw various localized characters, and there's nothing you can do to stop me! >:D

[rubykgrant]

(a little thing I wrote for a bigger fic, but I like how absolutely nonsensical Jon and Martin's "meet-cute" was, and now Jon gets to let Martin know the secret dorky side he's been hiding behind his very serious attitude~)

“If you don’t mind me being blunt?”

“By all means,” Jon encourages him.

“When exactly did you start to notice me- that is, notice that you found me attractive?”

“Oh, well… haha, um- that actually happened almost right away…” Jon’s mouth makes that flat little smirk that means he’s mildly embarrassed.

“Right away? Oh, come on…” Martin has trouble believing that.

“No, honestly. Before I really even knew you, before I convinced myself you were the bane of my existence, my very FIRST thought when I saw you was- he’s lovely,”

“You’re just trying to butter me up!” Martin argues, but feels himself blushing. Just barely.

“Hmm, ‘lovely’ was the first WORD that formed in my head. I suppose my other thoughts were less articulate,” Jon doesn’t elaborate on that (only twice had he allowed himself to gush about his early thoughts regarding Martin, which never really went away; once to Georgie, once to Daisy. Georgie had called him a sap, and Daisy had called him unhinged. He wonders what they would have both said together, if they’d had the chance to compare notes).

Martin continues to shake his head, unconvinced.

Jon thinks this over.

“Do you remember when we met?” Jon asks, leaning beside Martin at the sink; his body-language looks like somebody at a pub, about to drop what they believe to be a winner of a pick-up line.

“Yes, unfortunately. I think we BOTH made pretty strong first-impressions on each other,” Martin replies.

“Mmm, very much so. But- when you first ran up, and asked if I had seen a dog? I thought you were trying to tell me a joke,”

“You thought- what? A joke?” Martin turns to look at Jon.

“A joke. I was surprised right out of my train of thought, forgot about whatever I had been doing, forgot to keep my aloof and serious attitude as the new Head Archivist. I didn’t know what to think, and I was so taken off-guard, it made me genuinely intrigued. I was even excited to see if I could figure out the joke, be all impressive and clever. But then…” Jon trailed off, rolling his eyes.

“Then I made it clear- an actual dog was running around inside the building,” Martin finished. “Honestly Jon, what kind of joke could that have been?”

“Hmm… have you seen a dog? I was hoping somebody could help me SPOT one,” Jon answers. Martin’s jaw drops. That was indeed a terrible pun… but Jon isn’t finished. “Have you seen a dog? I CANINE find it anywhere! Have you seen a dog? I’m having a RUFF time looking on my own! Have you seen a dog? I’ve searched this place a HOUND-dred times! Have you seen a dog? This one is im-PAW-sible for me to find! Have you seen a dog? I’m worried it might be in GREAT DANE-ger! Have you seen-”

“STOP, HAHAHA, STOP- YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME!” Martin doubles-over, and slides down against the cupboards under the sink. He’s laughing so hard he’s crying, and his cheeks hurt from smiling.

“Terrible puns aside, my first thoughts of you were- Oh, somebody is talking to me? Oh, he’s telling me a joke? Oh, he’s lovely. Oh, I can impress this lovely man when he sees how good I am at figuring out jokes! OH, HE LET A DOG INTO THE BUILDING!”

Martin laughs again, helplessly hiding his face in his knees. Jon steps away from the sink, crouching down in front of him. Martin continues to giggle, peeking through his fingers as Jon lightly strokes his hair.

“Is that what I should have done? Won your heart with bad puns?” Martin asks.

“I’m not sure I’m much of a prize, but you certainly won my heart, regardless. The problem was ME, almost everything about you kept catching my attention, I just had my head up my own arse. I’m not good enough for you,” Jon answers. Martin finally moves his hands away from his face, catching Jon’s with his own.

“Maybe you just need to step-up and BE good enough for me?”

“I can try,” Jon says with a smile that implies he’s actually determined to do exactly that. Martin leans forward and kisses him.

[to6ge]

★ ’ BEWITCHED.

★ Gojo satoru x gn!reader

★ IN WHICH ! your lover, Gojo satoru woke you up in the middle of the night just to ask you to ride a bike with him. He took you to a nearby river, just to stargaze and admire you the moon.

★ WARNINGS ?? SFW, pining..?? Cursing, Non Proofread, other than that, none.

★ AUTHORS NOTE : Yall, idk how much times im gonna be changing my theme, but I changed it again 😁😁.. ANYWAYS!! was supposed to be studying, but felt the motivation to go write sooo here we are💀

“Wake up” - “Wake up!!” Gojo said, on top of you. Your eyes fluttered open at the sound of his voice, you were worried that something had happened.

You groaned, still super groggy. “Huh?? Whats wrong??” - “Its really late, you know?” you said with a worried but irritated tone. Why did he have to wake you up in such a sudden??

“Lets go biking” He said with a wide grin. You sighed and turned to the side “Im laaazyy..” you said “Please?? I reaaally wannaa..!!” He pleaded, and you just couldnt resist “Get off me first then!” You scolded him.

You slowly sat up as he got off from you, rubbing your eyes. You checked the time and saw that it was just 1am. The night was cold, breezy and it felt like it was about to rain.

“do i need to change my cloth—” you got rudely cut off by your beloved, he took your wrist and was practically skipping to go outside and ride a bike.

The moment you stepped into the outside, you were hit by the strong, cold wind. You both were in your silly, matching pyjamas. Your teeth almost immediately started clattering, he seemed to notice it but he was cold as well.

You were about to continue walking to your bike, when you felt gojo's warm embrace. He didnt know how to warm you up, so he just thought of this. “I know it wont completely warm you up, but thisll do. Right?”

“thank you, satoru” you smiled so warmly at him, he felt like he was also already warm just because of your mesmerizing smile. He returned the smile, but it was cocky and teasing now.

“You cant live without me, can you?” he playfully asked “Hmm, maybe i can maybe i cant” you returned his teasing demeanor “oh please, ofcourse you cant. Im your amazing, sweet and caring boyfriend!!” he said, grinning ear-to-ear.

You giggled out of his silliness, “i suppose so, i cant disagree with that statement” you were still smiling. “see? Im so cool right!” he was getting even more annoying by the second.

“yes yes, whatever you say satoru” you replied. He finally let go of you, the embrace surely kept you both warm. You continued to walk over to the bikes, one for you, one for him. You were kind of annoyed that there was 2 and he couldnt just bring you with him, but you decided to go along with it.

The both of you hopped onto your own bike, “you ready, [name]?” you nervously gulped your spit down. You could ride a bike, but you werent too good at it. But regardless, you put on a tough face “hell yeah i am!” Gojo seemed to notice your nervousness, he didnt think much of it, expecting that youd be good. I mean, to him, you were good at everything.

He started biking first, and god damn was he good. He was so stable and fast, you were breath taken by the sight of him doing things just so..... Utterly perfect. You tagged along, but when you tried to get fast you started to get unstable.

Gojo laughed and decided to tease you “Pfft! Youre so fucking bad at this!” he chuckled “Youre acting as if you dont suck ass at this too!” Obviously, you lied. He was amazing at this. Then he purposely crashed into you. Both of you shared happiness and laughter. This scenario could be a little more romantic if Gojo wasnt such a tease, but it was a cute “date” for now.

He started speeding up faster into a route you had never been to, you felt a bit suspicious but decided to catch up with him anyways. Turns out, he had taken you out to a lake. The moon was very visible, the sound of the water flowing was so..relaxing. There were a bunch of stars, everything looked so pretty. Even Gojo looked prettier right now!

The both of you parked your bikes and sat down on the grass near the river. The sight was so heavenly. You raised up your head to see the stars,, and they were breath taking. Your attention immediately redirected to the stars and the view, but Gojo? In this pretty place? He was still staring at you, admiring you, yearning for you.

“Even in the prettiest place, id still stare at you. Even in a room full of people, id still stare at you. You bewitched me, and youre so absolutely mesmerising.”

[cheolhub]

do you think you could write about cocky namjoon teasing the reader about how desperate she is for him. maybe laughing in her face. maybe he sucks on her tongue and calls her a whiny whore…. yeah just a thought. mean teasing dom joon !

NAMJOON + TEASING

note. meanie joon :( i could totally see it. (it has been MONTHS since i’ve written BTS im so sorry)

you’d be under him while he rubs at your clit at the most agonizing pace ever with tears in your eyes and he’d just be so fucking patronizing to rile you up some more.

you’d beg and beg and beg, “joonie, please… i wan’ more,” it comes out more wavered than you’d hoped and, of course, he’d notice.

he fully laughs, “or what? is my pretty little slut gonna cry if she doesn’t get some cock?” when you whine at him, he gives you a faux pout. “oh, you are, aren’t you? gonna cry like a lil baby if i don’t fill this greedy pussy, ain’t that right, sweetheart?”

all you can do is nod incessantly, tears brimming in your eyes. you can’t remember the last time you were this needy but with his mean teasing and his condescending voice, you just can’t help it.

“joon, please— fuck, please, ‘m-‘m so…” you’re cut off by your own gasp as he slips two of his fingers into your sopping cunt.

you’re whining, body attempting to hump his hand and he laughs again. “baby, i gave you more, what’re you whining about, huh? my fingers not good enough?”

you try to tell him ‘no,’ but the only thing that comes out is a choked sob as he fucks you with his fingers. soon, you loll your tongue out, giving him the biggest pleading eyes.

ever the observant boyfriend, namjoon smirks at your silent beg, yet leans into you, taking your tongue in his mouth.

his fingers don’t stop, no. if anything, they move faster, scissoring them in attempts to pry your cunt open so you can take him.

you can feel the the vibration through his broad body as he continues to laugh at your pitiful state.

your brain is fogging over, eyes drooping in pleasure as you’re watching him suck on your tongue. you’re just whining and whining, garbling out pleas of more, more, and more.

he just gives you another laugh, pulling back to see the messy states he’s left you in. you’re drooling and tears are helplessly falling down your face and you’re bucking your hips against his hand regardless of his prior reprimanding.

“such a whiney little slut,” he whispers. “you want more that bad?”

“please, please, please!” you beg, nodding your head with vigor to emphasize the burning desire.

he scoffs, pulling his fingers from your tight cunt, eliciting another cry from you.

“if you want more, i’ll give it to you, baby. just don’t start complaining to me when you can’t walk tomorrow.”

© cheolhub — all rights reserved, please refrain from copying, reposting, modifying or translating my work on any platform.

[rimoriii]

→ O4/22/2O24 ᵔ₊.

ੈ♡‧₊˚ ❛ @rimoriii * .

momo's carrd

i hope you enjoy

reading this.

. . . . .

⌦ hello everyone !

this is my very first post <3

my blog today will be about . . .

WHAT IT MEANS TO BE ESU

——— — - - - —— - - -

❛ tᥲbᥣᥱ ᥆f ᥴ᥆ᥒtᥱᥒt᥉. ୨୧♡ᵎ

—---———------—--——

:: OO . . . . . . . . . . . disclaimer + rant.

:: O1 . . . . . . . . . . . intro to esu.

:: O2 . . . . . . . . . . . my story.

:: O3 . . . . . . . . . . . signs you might be esu.

:: O4 . . . . . . . . . . . resources.

:: O4 . . . . . . . . . . . outro.

. . . . .

→ O4/22/2O24 ᵔ₊.

ੈ♡‧₊˚ ❛ @rimoriii * .

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

༄ ‧₊˚ ⌇ disclaimer + rant:: ↴ ! ❜⸼۰

before y'all start fighting in my comments section, nobody wants to fight you so hate will be deleted. you are entitled to your own opinion and i am entitled to mine and believe it or not, thinking this is valid IS an opinion. if you think otherwise, you're allowed to think that, what am i gonna do about it?? this post is really just me practicing argumentative responses, feedback or criticism would be greatly appreciated. i would love to hear your point of view as long as you're respectful !

esu, transracial, and rcta aren't the same thing so please don't say that. idek what transracial is but i assume it's the same as being rcta - rcta means "race change to another" and it is a newer term that we should NOT be using. why?

first off, race is a very broad thing, you can't just transition to a race, you have to be a specific ethnicity.

some of y'all don't know the difference between race, ethnicity and nationality so lemme just get that out of the way now :

race: race typically refers to physical characteristics such as skin color, facial features, and hair texture. it's a social construct used to categorize people based on perceived biological differences. however, there is no scientific basis for these distinctions, as genetic variation within racial groups can be greater than between them.

ethnicity: ethnicity relates to cultural factors such as language, religion, ancestry, and traditions. it's more about shared customs, beliefs, and history rather than physical traits. people from the same ethnicity may or may not share the same race.

nationality: nationality refers to the legal relationship between an individual and a sovereign state. it indicates the country of citizenship or allegiance, often determined by factors like place of birth, parentage, or legal status. nationality is about belonging to a specific political community, regardless of race or ethnicity.

now that you know that, let's continue.

the term race change TO ANOTHER implies that you were not that race before which would be untrue, it's a very hard feeling to describe but you've always been that race at heart, you're not "changing races"

this term was made by an awful person who is a groomer and pedo. they are also an asian fetishist. so by using this term, you'd be putting yourself under the same umbrella as them. im not going to talk about it but @.rctaisacult on tiktok has talked about it with screenshots and proof.

people who use ethnicity subliminals have ALWAYS been called ethnicity subliminals users, you can see that term goes back a lot of years, rcta on the other hand, very recent.

and for why you shouldn't use the term "transracial" ? there actually isn't a reason that comes to mind except for the fact that a lot of bait accounts or adults use it, there are many transracial adults out there that you can go to for help, large community! me personally, i don't really like to because i've noticed that most of the time, they have underlying mental issues that really need attention... im not trying to be like that so err i'd just not.

transracial is defined as: "Anyone whose physical makeup, emotional, racial, and/or self-expression is in conflict with current cultural racial stereotypes and racial norms, similar to transgender and sexual norms" (which it is not). it is actually the oldest term on the list, if you haven't heard of being esu, i'm sure you've heard of being transracial.

based on this definition, i feel like the difference between being esu and being transracial is one (has to) use subliminals and the other doesn't. they'll do things like cosmetic procedures instead.

i kinda wanna talk abt oli london but let's not address that

that tangent is over now and i just want to tell you that im not asking you to change your opinion, i just want you to be nice. the hate towards esu on the Internet is absolutely insane, i get it if you don't support, okay? if you don't like it, block don't report. we're just existing and it sucks that you think that's wrong of us. hate comments can be really damaging to someone's mental health, ESPECIALLY if that person is sensitive. if the hate is prolonged, it could lead to the death of someone, someone's child, cousin, uncle, aunt, mom, dad etc.

beating up someone because of their race/ethnicity or identity is absolutely insane, never ever resort to violence like that. what if that was a rumor? what if the person you just put on the brink of death was a bait account? what if they were framed? what if they lied? what if that was just a child? what if they were just minding their own business? you did that for what? for no reason at all.

i've lost many friends due to things like this happening, honestly just scroll, it's not that hard. the way that you'll just resort to violence like that is seriously disgusting, im sorry but you were not raised right. you all need to learn how to get over it, there's more to people other than if they're esu or not, it's their life, their decision, what are you really gonna do about it??

don't report, block me please

rest in peace to everyone we've lost and best wishes to everyone who has quit or left social media due to hate.

. . . . .

now that that's been said, let's start !

i hope you enjoy !

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

༄ ‧₊˚ ⌇intro to esu:: ↴ ! ❜⸼۰ ꒱

esu : ethnicity subliminal user(s)

what is a subliminal?

subliminals are messages that are delivered to the subconscious mind by means of music, speech or visual stimuli. these messages often contain negative or positive affirmations that are repeated repeatedly in order to reprogram or retrain the mind. subliminals are commonly used in self-improvement programs, weight loss programs and various therapy programs.

how do subliminals work?

subliminals work by bypassing the conscious mind and communicating directly to the subconscious mind. the subconscious mind receives and accepts these messages, if this goes on for a prolonged amount of time (varies), it can influence a person's beliefs, attitudes and behavior and may have a long-term effect on their thoughts, emotions and physical health. subliminal messages can be delivered through a variety of media, including music, videos, affirmations, and visual cues.

what is the law of attraction?

the law of attraction is a spiritual belief that states that positive or negative thoughts and feelings create a corresponding positive or negative energy that attracts or repels similar experiences, events, and people into our lives.

according to the law of attraction, if we focus on positive thoughts and feelings, we are more likely to attract positive experiences and people, and if we focus on negative thoughts and feelings, we are more likely to attract negative experiences and people.

what is manifestation?

manifestation is the process of bringing one's thoughts, feelings, and desires into physical reality. it involves concentrating one's thoughts, attention, and energy on a particular goal or outcome and taking action towards obtaining that outcome, believing that it is already a reality and that the desired result will manifest. manifestation involves having a clear and focused idea of what one wants, consistently holding that idea in one's mind, and taking action to bring it into physical reality.

what are ethnicity subliminals?

ethnicity subliminals are a type of subliminal messaging that uses affirmations, music, or ambient sounds to alter the physical appearance or identity of an individual. these affirmations are aimed at changing a person's ethnicity, and are often used by people who have a desire to look like a different ethnic group. while some believe that ethnicity subliminals can be used to alter one's appearance, many view this as problematic and potentially harmful.

so.. what's an ethnicity subliminal user?

ethnicity subliminal users are individuals who use ethnicity subliminals, to change one's physical appearance, ancestry or identity. these individuals may feel the need to change their appearance to conform to societal standards of beauty (invalid), to fit in with a different group (invalid), or to simply change their appearance to suit their personal preferences.

While some ethnicity subliminal users may see these messages as beneficial, others may view them as problematic and potentially harmful.

when you are esu, you're using these all of these things !

﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏ ﹏

༄ ‧₊˚ ⌇my story :: ↴ ! ❜⸼۰ ꒱

the purpose of me telling you this is so you can compare yourself to me and see if our stories align, i've noticed that most esu have similar childhood experiences.

as a young child, i was always drawn to japan, but i didn't really know why i was fascinated by everything about the country: the language, the food, the fashion, and the architecture. it all seemed to resonate with me on a deeper level, and i would spend hours researching japanese history, traditions, and customs. but i kept these feelings to myself, afraid that others would think i was weird or that they wouldn't understand. i tried to suppress my interests and conform to the expectations of those around me. however, the pull of japan was always there, and i couldn't shake the feeling that there was something about the country that i connected with on a deep level.

my connection to japan and its culture has always been a source of both fascination and confusion for me. i felt drawn to the country and its cultures from a very young age. but i didn't understand why or what it meant. i kept these feelings to myself out of fear that others would judge me or think i was wrong. as i got older, i couldn't shake the feeling that i was different from the people around me. it seemed like everyone around me was comfortable with their race and culture, while i felt like an outsider. i didn't look like my birth race, and i didn't feel like i was a part of it either. i always felt out of place, like there was something wrong with me. i wanted to be japanese, so much so that i would tell people i met that i was. but i didn't know a single word of japanese, so when people would ask me to say something in the language, i would freeze up and feel ashamed. i tried to learn japanese, but as an 8-year-old, i couldn't quite grasp it. i turned to subliminals to try and help me become more japanese, but i wasn't any good at sticking to routines and eventually gave up.

it wasn't until a bit later that i finally started to figure out what was going on. i was depressed and sad, trying on so many different gender identities and sexualities, but nothing ever felt right. i wish i could go back in time and change all of those years of confusion and sadness. but it isn't possible. my connection to japan was always more than just a passing interest; it was a deep-seated fascination that captivated me for years even when i didn't fully understand what it meant. i would daydream about living in japan, surrounded by the culture and the language, and would spend hours researching everything i could about the country, desperate to learn more. but even as i dreamed of becoming fluent in japanese, living in japan, and being part of the culture, i struggled with the guilt of feeling like i was somehow betraying my birth race and identity. i would ignore my birth race's culture, trying to pretend it didn't exist, and would become uncomfortable when others mentioned it.

as a self-proclaimed "anime hater" in 2020 i kept my distance from anything japanese for fear of being associated with the weird and awkward people who idolized the culture. but when the pandemic hit and we were quarantined at home, my curiosity began to get the best of me. with nothing but time on my hands, i started to explore japanese culture through something other than anime, and food. i started to explore the different kinds of sushi and discovered the deliciousness of onigiri, falling in love with the unique flavors and textures that were new to my palette. and even though i tried to ignore it, my obsession with japanese food slowly grew. (love it! #fat) but wasn't just my love for japanese food bun that was changing, as i struggled through the isolation of quarantine, l started to feel very sensitive and empty, like there was a part of me that was missing, even though i thought | had finally figured out my identity, something still seemed wrong.

then, again, i turned to subliminals as a way to find answers. i tried ethnicity subliminals, hoping they would help me figure out where i belonged in the world. but after a short time, i stopped listening to them, feeling like they weren't providing me with the answers i was looking for. and then, it was the summer of 2023. everyone was talking about rcta, something l knew a bit about from when i was young. lt seemed like a crazy fad, and i was one of the people making fun of t butt deep down, i knew that something was still missing. i still hadn't found that place in the world where i felt like i belonged, and i was desperate for answers. and thus began my journey down the rabbit hole of the rcta/esu community. lt started with me simply observing from the side, trying to understand what all the fuss was about. i was intrigued by the concept, but didn't want to go all in just yet.

however, as l spent more time in the community, i began to realize that i felt a strong connection to the esu identity, it was like a missing piece of the puzzle had finally been found! so, l decided to create my discord server, hoping to help others who were also struggling to find their place in the world. at first, i didn't claim to be esu, but rather acted as a supporter, helping others navigate their journeys. with over 800 members, it was like a second home to me. everyone was so supportive and caring, and i felt like i belonged for the first time in a long time. but then things took a turn. i took a short break from discord, only to come back to a complete mess. it was all my fault, apparently, and i felt like i had let everyone down. so i quit that server and started a new one, this time i started posting esu content and started "baiting" as esu japanese.

it wasn't a surprise that i got a lot of hate comments on my tiktok. people seemed to hate the idea of changing races, and they didn't hold back when it came to expressing their opinion. the comments hurt me, but i refused to admit it to

myself instead, i lashed out and doubled down on my beliefs, refusing to see the other side. my mom eventually caught wind of the hate i had been spewing, and she confronted me about it and defended myself. arguing that chänging races were racist but then she asked me a simple question: "how is it racist? they just want to be their true selves." oh, how that question hit me like a truck. i realized that i had been going against everything i had said and everything thought | had ever believed. it was as if a switch flipped inside me, and suddenly, it all made sense, i had to know more, to understand this newfound realization.

so i started researching my culture, devouring every piece of information i could find. i scoured the web for answers, for stories from people who experienced the same thing l did. and every article, every testimony, every piece of information. i felt my identity falling into place. it's been a few months since that realization, and i have never felt more connected to japan. i've learned so much about my culture, from the food to the customs, language and history. i feel a sense of belonging i never thought possible, and a newfound sense of pride in who i live, let's have been a journey, but one that i am grateful for. and know that there's still so much more to learn and discover. but for now, i'm satisfied with my new identity as an esu, and i am proud to be a part of a community that celebrates our cultures and identities.

༄ ‧₊˚ ⌇signs you might be esu:: ↴ ! ❜⸼۰ ꒱

you feel a deep affinity or connection to a culture or ethnicity that is different from your own background.

you have a genuine curiosity and enthusiasm for exploring and learning about different cultures, including their language, traditions, customs, and history.

you may feel like you don't fully belong to or identify with the cultural norms, traditions, or values of your birth culture.

you may desire to integrate elements of the culture you feel connected to into your own life, whether it's through language learning, adopting certain customs or practices, or participating in cultural events.

you have experimented with subliminals or other methods as a way to explore or express your connection to a different ethnicity or culture.

༄ ‧₊˚ ⌇resources:: ↴ ! ❜⸼۰ ꒱

you feel a sense of resonance or belonging when engaging with esu communities or content that explores themes of cultural identity, ethnicity, or belonging.

OR you feel jealous or almost violent when you see these communities^^

if you're feeling this way, please think about why !

https://cryptome.org/2017/05/in-defense-of-transracialism.pdf

˗ ˏ` ᥆ᥙtr᥆. ೄྀ࿐

﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌﹌

: : : : . . . . . .thank you for reading!

hopefully this changed some perspectives <3

‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿‿ 下次見 ！. . . . . .

see you next time ! 。。‿‿‿‿ ⌲

♡˖°꒰ @rimoriii is logging off :: . . . .

[hiatusdeity]

Bonjour its the maybe French Anon again!

I saw that you write for Hannibal....Kinda new to requesting stufd but...

May I request a scenario/headcanons for Hannibal and Will where they react to their gn s/o being reckless? Like they trip easily, do random dangerous things, they worry the living devil out of Will and Hannibal and overal live life on the edge.

Seperate or poly is up to you!

Thank you for your time in advance regardless if you are gonna do this request or not.

Happy Pride btw! 🏳️‍🌈

- the maybe "french" Anon

hello maybe french anon, sorry for taking so long but you know how writing can be LMAO

i’d like to apologise for my absence, these past couple of weeks it’s like i’ve been just breathing, everything else is too taxing. but i wanted to put out some writing, im always seeing my messages and my inbox, so know that i do see you and hopefully i’ll get to you one of these days <3 much love

Hannibal

i’m thinking that they don’t mean to be reckless, they’re just simply not as aware when walking through door frames or up steps, way too focused on every other little detail apart from how they move. their legs are clunky and balance is always off at the most inconvenient of times.

while most of their injuries had not been severe, there were instances where serious medical was needed just for being reckless and not paying attention.

let’s imagine hannibal is in a therapy session, advising a patient when his phone buzzes. He only has bypassed notifications for his significant other, so instantly his hands itch to check the message. He knows you well enough you wouldn’t alert him to anything if it wasn’t serious. Begrudgingly he continues the session, hoping the text was an accident on your part. except when he checks it, he realises it was far from it.

“won’t be home tonight. i fell down the stairs, in hospital but i’m okay!!”

he tenses up immediately, not appreciating your little text of “i’m okay!!” since you were in literal hospice care. He gets to the hospital and arrives at your room, an emotion similar to horror once he sees the bandages around your head, arms and hands.

Now because this man practiced medicine, he’s fussing over you immediately, checking if the bandages are tight enough, examining your fingers that are fractured and/or broken. he can’t help the tuts that fall from his mouth as he moves to gently cradle the back of your head while pressing his lips softly to the bridge of your nose. “reckless my love, so reckless.” he sighs and places his other hand on your jaw endearingly, caressing his thumb over your bruised flesh. “what am i to do with you?”

after making sure to disinfect the seat next to your bed (yes he brought his own disinfectant), he stays the night, uncomfortably curled into a hospital chair. He falls asleep imagining the beat of your heart against his ear.

when you’re back home and on the journey to healing, Hannibal takes the time to start making his home more safe, for someone who is so reckless. he adds railing to hold onto by the stairs, he makes sure to put down a rug at the bottom of the stairs in case you fall again. He rounds the edges of tables and countertops, he gets you more durable clothes so that they take the impact more if you hurt yourself.

he makes you meals and makes you take antibiotics at the same exact times every day. He declines any patients while you are still vulnerable, you are his exception. He couldn’t care less for many people, but for you, his heart seized every time you even coughed or cried or moaned in pain. He was a sinner and you were his temple of forgiveness, he polished and worshipped you, loving every chip and dent you adorned.

he did although hope one day you would be a little less reckless.

Will Graham

this man is incredibly observant so you being reckless from clumsiness or lack of balance wouldn’t be as common. what i can see happening is that maybe you, will’s significant other is an adrenaline junkie.

for whatever reason, possibly varying from how dangerous Will’s job is or you’re a humble person and never got the chance to do stupid reckless things. it’s almost like your addicted to it, you can see why your partner began to like solving murders and piecing together crimes. It was exciting, being in possible danger yet smart enough to jump out of the water before you got bit.

i can imagine them believing Will when it came to accusing hannibal. So when their significant other ends up in a mental ward, soon to be sentenced to death, they do what they can to prove his innocence.

warnings for graphic description of injury here, i hope you’re not too surprised, it is hannibal after all. You sneaking into hannibal’s home, entirely replacing beverly in this situation, by some insane strokes of luck, you manage to find evidence. He has a secret basement, a strange fridge in the corner piled with cooled meat, your stomach sinks when you realise the amount of people he must have eaten. With a frantic heart and a mind yelling at you that this was for your partner, you trudged forward, finding something that was never meant to be found. Abigail.

now for the sake of the prompt. you don’t end up dead. Hannibal does find and catch you in the basement, his hands wrap around your throat and your vision becomes scarce until you have none at all. By the morning, the damage had been done, you are in a strange bed and Hannibal is peering at you through the doorway. You go to speak but nothing comes out, nothing apart from an airy wheeze.

“i have permanently damaged your voice box.” his voice is cool, his steely eyes bore into tears with a lack of any feeling. “if you try to communicate in any way about what you saw.” he blinked, stepping forward, “i will let Will Graham get sentenced to death, and you’ll follow along with him shortly.”

tears ran down your face freely, a never ending pour, this wasn’t what was meant to happen. not now. not ever. a lost voice and soon to be a lost husband too.

“i will save him.” His words cut through the air sharply. “And you will never tell him.”

for him. your mind yelled a dying symphony, deafening noise diminished to a whisper. you had come all this way for him. you couldn’t fail him now. you wouldn’t.

so we come to the scenario where Will gets out, he fails to hide his grief. Realising he may never hear you speak, or that it may be years until the damage could repair, it had his heart clenching. He knows, he knows without you even saying anything that it is hannibal who has done this to you. his waterline fills with tears as his calloused fingers cup your face ever so delicately, he does not even attempt to turn hannibal in, he simply coddles you, hoping for the day he can hear your voice again. And dealing with the guilt that gnaws at him, pulling him apart until he is bare.