#and it was deserted and the mall was kinda

[cynicallyneutral]

i had a dream

[bluastro-yellow]

I see some of the place I live in Martinaise. of course the situation is not the same, and it's not as bad, but this part of the city is a shithole on the beach with so much potential to be great left to rot on its own (it has an even worse fishing "village" too)

but still. the sea and pinewood forest are so beautiful and full of life, and there's still people who're trying to live their lives and change the situation. "but I love it nonetheless. It belongs to me as much as it belongs to you" is changing my perspective

[good-wine-and-cheese]

I think I just experienced an indie survival game

[fingertipsmp3]

So all the shorts I ordered fit me well, but I assumed they wouldn’t so I have a train ticket booked to go into town tomorrow to buy shorts that I now don’t need. What do

[bruciemilf]

Okay so civilian AU where the batkids don't want their dad dating Clark (not because they hate Clark, they love him, they just don't want their dad Dating) but they don't outright say it because Clark makes Bruce happy, so they just. Commit micro aggressions.

Clark gets turned around in the Manor? Jason has a snarky comment about how "if you can't even find your way around a house, how do you expect to find your way around Gotham?"

There's a bomb threat while they're out at the mall (it's Gotham) and Clark’s slightly panicking. Dick helps calm him down, but not without the patronizing comment of, "the first bomb threat's always the hardest. You're not going to last long here if you still get so freaked out about bomb threats—it's best if you just go back to Metropolis."

Clark asks why Cass resorts to sign language only when around him, like stops mid-sentence and switches to sign when he enters the room. Cass looks innocently at him and signs, "I only speak around people I'm comfortable with and I know will stay."

Damian just flat-out ignores him. Clark can't even say anything because Damian’s just Like That. Titus chews up all Clark’s clothes? "I'm not responsible for my dog's habits, Kent."

Clark tries and fails to articulate a business proposal on the behalf of WE Tim comes to rescue him with a sympathetic but pointed comment about how, "it's okay, not everyone knows how to pitch proposals. In upper-class society, it's a necessary skill—even Steph knows, and I doubt she's ever set foot in WE, but it's fine you don't know, really! Just...stay away from my company, will you? It's a family affair."

Clark Knows they don't like him, but the comments are isolated and innocent enough that he can't point anything out without it seeming like he's nitpicking.

- batposts (on anon because I'd rather you didn't see my main)

WHEEZE POOR CLARK - this tastes so much like the bitterness I had for my mom's first boyfriend. Let me tell you me and my brother invented a new layer of hell for that man.

OH OH OH - Clark thinks the batkids are invincible, they're Bruce's perfect baby angels (quoted from the titan dad himself) but he quickly realizes that's not the case at all.

Like, maybe Tim says something snarky during dinner, something intentionally smarmy about the class difference between clark and Bruce and isn't it wonderful they lasted so long despite being so different?

And Clark doesn't even blink at that, he's used to Tim being Tim, but Bruce? " What did you say, Timothy Jackson Drake-Wayne?"

An ivory red lits Tim's ghostly pale painted face on fire. " Um. Jay-"

" Don't look at me, man."

" Dick-"

" Eşti pe cont propriu, cretinule. (You're on your own, moron - I like to think Dick only ever insults his siblings in Romanian)

" Steph?"

" No habla little bitch."

" Dami?"

Damian stares at him, silently squishing his cheek againts a fuming Bruce's forearm. Needless to say Tim doesn't have desert or coffee for a WEEK and Bruce has a long talk with his kids.

Counterattack: Clark's kids do the exact opposite. They just snatch Bruce, OUR DAD NOW, CHUCKLEFUCKS, and dip straight up.

When they actually DO meet, let Jon look at Dami glowering at him, because NEW BABIES? IN THE NEST? NO- and just laugh.

He laughs. That's it. " Okay, first of all, you're adorable and I love everything about you. "

Conner is straight up like,

hey Jason, right? You don't have to worry about Bruce anymore, dude. I'm kinda planning on moving in? So you can move back out. I know for a fact you have the best room in this overpriced box and I plan on taking it. Haha, just messing! Seriously though, move out. I got this.

[queenlua]

also: aforementioned shopping mall was in Los Angeles (or, rather, one of the infinite technically-separate little cities that have taken big ol' chomps out of LA over the years, even though they are very obviously part of the same metro, isn't white flight / redlining / etc a trip, etc)

ANYWAY. it was my first time really getting to explore LA as an adult, and

the city might be cursed??? but i also kind of dig it???

it kind of reminds me of Las Vegas, in the sense that both cities seem audacious and in defiance of natural law & good sense & God's will & all that,

but whereas Las Vegas's form of defiance is: "fuck you, we are making the city of Sin And Gambling And Sex, and it's going to be So Goddamn Gaudy, and on top of all that we're building it in an *uninhabitable desert* just to prove that we can"...

...well, Los Angeles's form of defiance seems to be more like: "fuck you, we are making our city One Infinite Suburb, except with taco trucks everywhere because come on we're not *that* kind of suburb, HOWEVER the car WILL reign supreme, and instead of having a City Vibe it will be like a hundred little neighborhoods each on their own little island surrounded by the Sea Of Traffic, and also if anyone tries to build a SINGLE GODDAMN SKYSCRAPER they will be SHOT ON SIGHT"

which is obviously not how a city should work!!! and yet there it is, vast and sprawly and even with some tbh pretty dope access to nature, extremely good food, Silver Lake was a lot of fun, etc

like obviously this is just a cursory feel from spending a handful of days there, many grains of salt, etc, but. wow what a vibe. i kinda dig it in the way I dig all loud ostentatious defiances and such

[yandere-wishes]

QUICK with which Genshin characters do you ship your mutuals with, why and ship dynamic!

This wasn't quick at all, it took me like four whole days to write this. Most of my mutuals aren't really into Genshin but here are the four who actually play the game,

@yandere-romanticaayandere-romanticaa: Ovious Childe, like come on who else am I supposed to ship her with? She's gone on record to say she's ABSOLUTELY FERAL over him~💖💖

But…If I were to get creative with this. I'd say Ana and Alhaithalm would be a super wholesome couple. Dates would include, cuddling together as Alhaithalm reads her a romance novel. Or maybe a cute, aesthetic cafe date. Eating sweets together and staring into each other's eyes with longing.

Like Ana come on he'd be the perfect husband for you, he's 85% Lana del Rey coded.

@feedmestraycats You would literally be perfect for either Tighnari or Cyno. In both cases, it's because you get so passionate about something and need to tell all your friends about it. Tighnari and Cyno would absolutely adore you for this trait, commenting about how adorable you get when you talk about your latest passion. They'd also spend hours talking to you about their obsessions.

Cyno would teach you how to play TCG and buy you the prettiest cardholder. He'd also take you out on dates in the desert, enjoying the sun and sand as he shows you a new card combination attack he learned.

Tighnari would take you out on picnics in the forest/jungle. Having prepared numerous tasty snacks and treats, plus a nutritious meal. He'd show you all the different flora and funga. He'd spend hours explaining their traits to you. He'd be so happy to be in his favorite place with his favorite person.

All this being said, I can also see you and Albedo being together. since you both share a love of art. He'd definitely would try out a surrealistic medium and gift you his best works. Would also take you on dates to Dragonspine and make you hot chocolate as you cuddle by the fire and watch the snowfall.

@minteasketches I know you're a huge Scaramouch lover…BUT hear me out, KAVEH. you guys are both so passionate about your art. Pouring your heart into your work, leaving fragments of your soul in your creations. Kaveh would 100% refer to you as his muse and hang your art on the walls of his buildings. He'd also personally design the ring he proposes to you with. Asking you to be his eternally with rosy pink cheeks. He'd try to propose outside during a full moon. Wanting everything to be PERFECT just like his darling.

@surveyycorps This one is obvious but DOTTORE. I know how much you love Genshin's resident mad scientist. So I'm putting the two of you together for this assignment. If you two met during his Zandik days, then cute study dates at the library would be a must. He'd tutor you in every subject wanting you to exile. But you'd also have to comfort him on his more…moody days. Assuring him that "He's the best genius in the entire academy".

If you two started going out during his Dottore time period. Then I could see him taking you to expensive restaurants and high-end malls. Wanting to spoil you. But he'd also lock himself in his lab for days on end, so the relationship could be rather lonely at times. DW he'd totally make it up to you later.

So in conclusion I'm the best matchmaker in history (cupid who??). That's everyone Anon. Now I'm kinda curious who I'd be shipped with lol 🤣🤣 Let me know in the comments/askbox

[cuttingpenisblackmetal]

edit: on AO3

tw: canon-typical homophobia, medical gore (near the end). pre-dethklok magnus and murderface, just dudes bein roommates

They pay the security deposit with the last of Magnus' college fund and put Murderface's grandfather's name on the lease instead of their own. It's garbage day, so they spend their morning cruising around a neighborhood on the nice end of town, occasionally stopping to throw furniture into the back of Magnus' truck. They bribe Nathan with a case of beer to help them 'move in', and by the afternoon, it almost looks like a real home: tatty sofa, cracked TV screen, stack of amps along the wall, their own mattresses on the floors of their rooms. It's a two-bedroom, but they deserve a two-bedroom, because they're going to make it big, after all. Nathan almost has a drummer lined up, a big name supposedly, and the gigs are already being penciled in, and they know by instinct that Dethklok is going to be big. Really big. They should be living like kings.

So, on their first day in their new apartment, Murderface and Magnus sit on opposite sides of their freshly-scavenged couch and watch their cracked TV. Magnus has done some 'creative' wiring so that they can 'borrow' cable from the neighbouring apartment, but right now they're only getting one channel and it's the one where people try to sell you things. Deluxe vacuums, currently. Nathan's gone off to have some meeting with their potential new drummer, so it's just the two of them, in their new apartment, that they're now renting together, on their own personal couch. Just the two of them. Roommates. Sitting on a couch…

"Is thisch gay?" Murderface asks aloud.

Magnus glances over a him. "Excuse me?"

"Thisch is kinda gay, right? Two guys living together?"

Magnus blinks at him. "Oh, yeah, totally, man," he replies apathetically, directing his attention back to the television.

"Wait, fuck, scheriously?"

"Seriously. Says on the lease we have to suck each other off every night."

"Fuck. Thatsch not good."

"Trust me, you get used to it."

"Aw, man, this schucks! I don't wanna suck a dude off! Can't I jusch jerk you off or somethin'?"

"If you jerk me off, we don't get the security deposit back."

"Fuck the shecurity deposit. That's your money anyway."

Magnus gives Murderface one of his famous cutting glances from the corner of his eyes. Then he settles back into the couch, propping an ankle over his knee, jiggling his foot a little.

Murderface tries to mimic him, likewise sinking into the sofa, likewise crossing his legs. Super relaxed, super cool.

"I'm not suckin' nobody's pee-pee," Murderface grumbles. "My name's not even on the schtupid lease."

Magnus has already lost interest in the joke. "Oh. Sure. I guess legally, your grand-dad has to suck it."

"Dude, grossch--"

"Shut up," Magnus sits up, gestures to the TV. "Look at that."

The vacuum infomercial has ended. A man dressed as a cowboy now stands before a fake desert backdrop, delivering an inaudible monologue (the speakers on their TV are broken).

"Aw schit," says Murderface, "Now that jusch makes me homeschick."

"Keep watching, idiot," says Magnus.

Murderface keeps watching. He watches as the cowboy reaches into his hip-holster and draws a long, shiny samurai sword.

"Schit!" Murderface sits up. "That's fuckin' aweschome!"

"Right?"

"I want a fuckin' sword-holster! You know what? I'll suck you off if it means we get your money back and use it to buy a fuckin' cowboy ninja sword!"

Magnus looks thoughtful. "You know," he begins slowly, "I have some money left in my college fund."

They lock eyes. No further words need pass between them. They stand and go for the door.

~

Magnus and Murderface are standing before a kiosk in a shopping mall, admiring a dazzling array of knives.

They have big knives; knives with bad-ass triangular holes in them (aerodynamic!); knives with iridescent blades; knives with that fancy stripy folded-steel blades; They have hunting knives with camo-print handles, little pocket knives, Swiss army knives, pocket knives with bullets for handles, pocket knives with lighters for handles, pocket knives hidden in lipstick (for the ladies). They have knives with spikes on them and knives shaped like axes and knives with jagged serrated edges that look like shark's teeth. And, of course, they have swords.

"Schit," Murderface says, pointing, "I want that one."

"Bad quality steel," Magnus says, without looking.

"Fuck that schit, the blade is black. That means high carbon. Extra scharp."

"This is what you want," says Magnus, pointing to a plain steel hunting knife. "Utilitarian. Functional."

"Boooo-ring."

"Classy. That's a knife you can bring to a fancy dinner."

"Check out that knife," Murderface interrupts him. The knife he points to has a blade the length of his forearm, with spikes all around the base near where it connects to the handle, and several triangular holes in the centre.

"Shit," Magnus breathes. "That's a cool knife."

"So fucking cool."

"You want that one?"

"Well, yeah, but…"

"But?"

"I've been thinking, we schould get a lot of knives. An aschortment of knives."

"Oh, yeah, absolutely."

"We need the right knives for the right occasions. Every knife scherves its own purposch."

"And a sword, of course."

"Two schwords! One for you, one for me."

"Three swords. We'll have to keep one by the door, in case of intruders."

"Yeah! It's a bad neighborhood, who knows what could happen."

They lock eyes. They nod. Magnus signals for the clerk.

~

They've just pulled onto the highway and an awful staticky death metal band is blasting over the radio when Magnus turns the volume down and says, "We should have a special dinner. To celebrate the move."

"Dude, grosch," Murderface, whose lap is currently full of knives, replies. "That's gay."

"I'm gay? You're holding a rainbow knife."

"Uh, it'sch called an oil-spill butterfly knife? It'sch limited edition?"

"Whatever, man. It doesn't have to be anything fancy. We can get steak or something. Champagne."

"Gaaaay."

"The champagne makes the lease-required dick-sucking easier, William. You'll thank me later."

Viscerally disgusted, Murderface stabs Magnus' dashboard with his newly-acquired limited-edition oil-spill butterfly knife. "Eugh, just don't call me that while you're talking about dick-sucking! You're really grosching me out."

"Whatever you say, honey."

"Hammersmith--"

Magnus turns up the radio, rolls down the window to let the wind blow in. Murderface watches him tuck his long hair behind his ear, then stabs his dashboard once more, for good measure.

~

They are standing in a grocery store looking at the meat cabinet. It's all very red, and fleshy, and if you think about it, it should be brutal-- a cabinet of dismembered body parts, ruthlessly torn apart, laid out like inanimate objects to be purchased for money and consumed by strangers. Brutal. And yet…

"I don't like it," Murderface declares.

Magnus is frowning at an array of whole fish. "Hm."

"It's jusch lame or something." Murderface rams his fist against the glass. "Whatsch the point of eating meat if you don't even get to kill the animal first? It's fucking bullschit!"

"Hm," Magnus repeats himself. "What about that?"

He points towards a door leading to the back room. Through it they can see a large, steel table, and on top of it is a full half of a pig, skinned and ready for butchering.

"Yeah…" Murderface says slowly, "That's pretty schick."

"You," Magnus snaps at the clerk behind the counter, "We'll take that one. Yes, that one, in the room back there…"

… Ten minutes and a great deal of haggling later, they're pushing half a pig in a cart down the cheese aisle.

"My roommate in college was a law guy," Magnus is explaining. "He went to a lot of fancy events. Showed me the ropes."

"Did you suck his hog?"

"The secret is in the cheese. You have to get the right cheese, and… olives."

Murderface leers at the cheeses before them. "This one looksch fancy," he says, grabbing a package at random.

"Good, get a hard one as well."

"We're in a groschery store, Hammerschmith, that's not appropriate."

"You know," Magnus says quite calmly, "One of these days, I am going to stab you."

Murderface grabs another package at random and throws it on top of the pig carcass. "Oh I bet you'd like that. Schtickin' things in guys."

"William," Magnus lays a hand on Murderface's shoulder. "You're fixated on my sexuality because you're insecure about yours. I get that, and I just want you to know, as a friend, that I don't mind if you're gay."

Murderface smacks his hand away. "Ughh! Don't try your shrink-school bullschit on me!"

"I fully support you and your rainbow knives."

"Shut up! What elsch do we need, olives?"

~

They're stopped at a gas station while Magnus fills up his truck. Murderface is standing in the wine section selecting only the finest gas station champagnes for their housewarming dinner. Which is some bullshit, now that he thinks about it. What the fuck even is champagne? Bubbly wine, right? Maybe they can just drop an alka-seltzer into a carton of Franzia. That's probably easier than trying to read the French gibberish on the labels of all these bottles.

Murderface has a carton of Franzia on his shoulder and is heading for the medicinals section when he catches sight of something truly marvelous.

There, by the door, stands a glass display cabinet. And contained within that cabinet…

"What is that?" Magnus asks, when Murderface returns to the truck.

"Behold," says Murderface, with eminent pride, "A gnife!"

Like a modern bayonet, the 'knife' is, in fact, a very small pistol, with a knife's blade inexpertly welded to the barrel. He waves it in the air so that Magnus can get a proper look.

"Damn," Magnus breathes. "That's pretty cool."

"Right?"

"I don't care for guns myself, but even I can admit-- cool."

"It's scho fucking cool."

"Where's the champagne?"

"I figured we'll just throw a little alka-seltzer in thisch boxed wine. Trailer park champagne."

"Fine, fine. Get in, let's go."

"Hold on. I didn't pay for your gasch--"

"Get in the fucking truck, William!" Magnus yells.

William hurls himself into the passenger seat, landing uncomfortably atop their pile of newly-acquired knives, and Magnus peels out of the parking lot before the cops can show.

~

They're back in their apartment. They've laid the pig carcass out on the card table Nathan's parents have loaned them, and Magnus is holding a samurai sword.

"Come on!" Murderface urges, hitting his fists on the edge of the table. "Cut it already!"

"Give me time," Magnus growls. He's fixated on the carcass, his eyes are wide, pupils blown with excitement. "An artist's cuts must be… precise."

"Well, be preciser faster!" Murderface complains. "I wanna see a pig get fucked up!"

"Silence, grasshopper. Watch and learn… the way of the warrior!"

With one rapid stroke, Magnus brings the sword down, fast and hard, across the pig's torso. There's a loud meaty thwack. The sword is embedded a couple of inches into jiggly pig flesh.

"Shit!" Magnus yells. "The fucking sword isn't sharp!"

"Magnus, Magnus," Murderface says soothingly, sidling over to Magnus, gently nudging him aside. "Go get yourself some wine, let the blade-maschter handle this one." He eases Magnus' hands off of the sword's handle, takes it in his own firm grasp.

Grumbling, Magnus lets himself be pushed aside. "It's a problem with the blade," he complains. "My technique was perfect. Perfect!"

"It's not a problem with your technique, it's brute schtrength that matters the most." Murderface wrenches the sword out of the pig and raises it high above his head. "Watch and learn, Hammersmith!"

He rams the sword as hard as he possibly can into the pig carcass' neck.

The entire card table buckles and collapses.

"Brute strength," Magnus echoes, observing the pile of plastic and pig meat before them. He's already poured himself another solo-cup of shitty white wine.

Murderface stares at the wreckage for a few seconds. "Schwords not sharp!" he yells. "The fucking schword's not sharp!"

"Want some cheese?"

"Fuck yes, fuck this schtupid pig! Where's my butterfly knife? I'm cuttin' some bacon…"

~

Magnus and Murderface sit on opposite sides of their freshly-scavenged sofa in their brand new apartment and watch infomercials on their cracked TV. There is a pile of knives and swords in-between them.

"Pasch me some cheese," Murderface says.

Magnus drives the point of the knife in his hand through a block of cheese and holds it out to Murderface. Murderface skewers it on his own knife.

A man on the TV is talking about the virtues of humidifiers. Magnus has used his technical wizardry to plug one of their amps into the TV, so they have sound now.

"This guysch a fuckin' idiot," Murderface announces through a mouthful of cheese. "Who needs a humidifier in fuckin' Florida?"

"As if my hair isn't ruined enough," Magnus agrees, idly stabbing the arm of the sofa.

"I thought gay guys liked big hair."

"You're thinking of glam rockers. Also, William, I'm getting pretty tired of the gay jokes."

"Hittin' a nerve, am I?"

"If you have feelings for me, sort that shit out yourself. Or at least get a new joke. You're boring the hell out of me."

Murderface bites the tip of his cheese-knife and watches Magnus through narrowed eyes.

Magnus is staring boredly at the infomercial, ramming his knife into the sofa's arm with precise rhythm. When he's not having his notorious violent outbursts, he's actually quite cool and aloof, taking every affront with casual nonchalance. It's only those who have known him for a long time, such as Murderface, who know that below the artificial calmness lies a simmering rage liable to explode at any moment. Murderface has depended on Magnus since he left his grandparents' home; Murderface has seen Magnus flip out at waitresses without warning and throw chairs through diner windows. He is Murderface's idol. He's a ticking time-bomb.

And now they've moved to Florida together, and they're renting an apartment together, and no matter what Magnus says, it really does feel kind of gay.

Murderface picks up a random knife from their pile and starts ramming it into the sofa's arm, matching the timing of it with Magnus' stabbing.

They sit there for a while, each stabbing their respective sofa arms in peaceful synchronicity.

Murderface feels Magnus glance over at him. He stabs the sofa with a little more force.

"Hey," Magnus says in a low voice. Suddenly a piece of paper lands on his lap, with 'LEASE' written at the top. No instruction needed, Murderface stabs it.

A few minutes later, Murderface pulls off his vest and throws it to Magnus' side of the couch. Magnus balls it up and stabs it.

On Magnus' turn, he throws a whole block of cheese onto Murderface's lap. Murderface puts it on the sofa's arm and proceeds to stab the absolute shit out of it. By the time he's done he's practically reduced it to paste.

Magnus has been watching him all the while, ramming his hunting knife idly again and again into the sofa cushion beside his leg. Murderface can't think of anything else to throw at him, so--

"Schtab me," Murderface says.

Magnus looks mildly surprised. And he waits only a moment before leaning over and stabbing Murderface firmly in the top of the thigh.

"Holy schit!" Murderface shouts. "Fuck! Shit! Goddammit!" He clamps his hands over the wound-- blood wells out from them immediately-- he presses down hard, hissing with pain. "Fuckin' schit, Magnus!"

"Oh, grow up," says Magnus dismissively.

"You fuckin' schtabbed me!"

"There's a first aid kit in the truck. Here are my keys."

"Fuck. You aschole."

~

The sofa is covered in knives and blood. Murderface is drunk off of his ass on cheap wine and alka-seltzer, pantsless, sitting on a camp chair in the kitchen of his brand new apartment. Magnus is on the ground between Murderface's knees, holding a lighter in one hand and a sewing needle in the other.

"You schure you know how to do this?" Murderface slurs.

"Of course I do," Magnus says. His elbow is resting on Murderface's un-stabbed thigh, his gaze is focused on the needle he's currently heating with the lighter.

"Yeah? Schince when?"

"I dated an EMT for three months."

"What was his name?"

Magnus puts down the lighter and picks up a packet of dental floss from the floor. Brow wrinkled with concentration, he bites off a long length of it, then threads it through the eye of the needle. Then he drops the dental floss and picks up a handle of vodka. "William?"

"What."

"Don't be a little bitch."

The pain is excruciating. It's like his entire thigh has been set on fire and is being ripped apart from the inside by a thousand hell rats from hell (fuck, good song idea.) Murderface bites down on one of his own wrists, and then buries his other hand in Magnus' hair, clutching a handful of thick curly locks. His eyes water and the tears shatter the world into kaleidoscope-colours until he squeezes them shut; when he opens them again he sees the top of Magnus' head between his own bare and bloody thighs and he's wracked with pain and the sight is delusionally sublime.

Fuck.

Maybe there is something to that shrink-school bullcrap. Murderface just let a man stab him. Is that gay? Is he gay for letting his roommate stab him and then stitch him back up? When this is done he's going to have to do some real self-inspection, or whatever it's called.

Whatever, he's getting stitched back together in his own brand new apartment. Way more metal than having some doctor do it, and Murderface is no stranger to stabbings or their aftermath. He lets himself moan in pain, leaning back in the chair. He tilts his head back, whimpers, readjusts his grip on Magnus' hair. Fucking brutal. It's like a war movie. Like one of those civil war soldiers before they invented medicine. Every stroke of the needle vibrates through his core like heavy bass.

And suddenly-- it's over, too soon it's over. Did he black out? Magnus is standing in front of him, his bare chest covered in blood, wiping his hands on his trousers. Murderface glances down and sees his bare, pudgy thigh, likewise blood-stained, with a small stab-wound in one criss-crossed by uneven stitches.

"You're alright," Magnus says reassuringly.

Murderface struggles to sit upright. "Yeah…" he chokes out. "… Schit, that's a good knife. That's fucking scharp."

"I told you. Classic hunting knife. Can't go wrong." Magnus takes a swig of the vodka, then thoughtlessly wipes his mouth. A diluted streak of pinkish blood is left across his cheek. "Can you stand?"

"Uh, give me a schecond." Murderface feels woozy. He feels very warm. He wants Magnus to stab him again. He needs another cup of wine.

"Just hurry up," says Magnus, turning away. "That samurai cowboy guy is on and I need to write down the number."

"Yeah…" Murderface sighs, slumping back in his chair. "Yeah, sure, write it down for me, too…"

It is their first night in their new apartment. Everything is covered and blood, there is a pig carcass in the centre of their kitchen, and they just know they're going to make it big.

[tartagliatum]

this is kinda random, but ive always liked the idea of someone taking their s/o to the mall and just stopping at every desert/bakery place, and just spoiling them! (i had no one to share this idea with so hi)

ohh this is so incredibly cute ,, they can’t say no despite how full they are bc it’s all their favourite treats :3 cue loosened belts and warm tummy rubs afterwards

[bluesfortheredj]

Always watching.

A/N: little bit of violence and smut ahead.

The store falls oddly silent as you turn away from the shelf you’d been focusing your attention on to realise that you’re now standing alone in a deserted aisle.

“Billy?”

There’s no response to the call of his name so you move to the end of the shelving and look both ways to see if you could see him; still no sign of the man.

“Billy?”

Again only silence meets your ears and you walk along to the next aisle quietly as your eyes dart from side to side for any clue as to where he’d disappeared to. Just as you approach the end of the shop a hand reaches out from behind the shelf and grabs your arm, pulling you towards them with a playful growl.

“Billy!” you giggle, surprising yourself with how girly you sounded in that moment.

You place your hands on his shoulders then slide them up to his neck as you look deep into his eyes, getting lost within the blue waves of them in a matter of seconds, and you smile as the corners of his lips lift into a besotted grin. The two of you may have been in a shop in the middle of the mall, but it truly didn’t matter to either of you as you stood there in a little bubble of happiness, completely oblivious to anything or anyone around you; and there was definitely someone in particular who was around you at this present moment.

“Where are we going now?” Billy asks as his arms wrap around your waist.

You shrug nonchalantly, “no idea… where do you wanna take me?”

His innocent grin turns into a smirk and he bites his lower lip lightly before answering, “that’s a… that’s an inviting question.”

“Keep your mind out of the gutter, Hargrove,” you warn playfully.

“Okay, okay, uh, how about we grab something to eat?”

“Sounds like an excellent idea.”

He kisses the tip of your nose before his arms slip away from your body and he turns to leave with you following him and happily watching those curls of his bouncing along with each step he takes. As you exit the doors of the store a small shiver runs up your spine and you turn quickly to see if anyone is behind you following a little too closely, yet no one is to be seen when you turn on your heels.

“Babe, you okay?” Billy asks, noticing that you’d fallen behind.

“Huh?” you ask, snapping your head around to look at him, “…yeah… fine.”

You choose the burger place in the middle of the food court to have something to eat in, yet throughout your meal you can’t shake the feeling of someone observing you, and Billy notices your anxious body language quickly.

“What’s up?” he wonders, popping another fry in his mouth.

“Nothing really,” you shrug, bringing your eyes back to the man you were sitting opposite, “just had a feeling.”

“What kind of feeling?”

“I dunno, it’s silly really.”

“It’s not silly if it’s making you this jittery,” he points out before biting down into his burger.

Your finger digs through your pile of fries until you find a small one to nibble on then you shrug as you swallow it, “kinda felt like we were being watched.”

“Watched?” Billy scoffs, “why would anyone watch us? Obviously we’re the hottest couple around, but still…”

You shake your head from side to side with a laugh at his blunt statement, “told you it was silly.”

“Nah, babe, it’s not silly, but just try not to worry about yeah? I’m sure people have got better things to do than look at us all the time.”

You hum in agreement, “yeah you’re right.”

Once you’ve finished your meals you head out to his car hand in hand ready for the ride home but Billy pauses after he’s started the engine, and he turns to you with a surprisingly soft smile that you’d only ever seen a handful of times before, “you’re beautiful,” he says quietly.

A shallow confused frown creases your brow momentarily but it’s soon lifted once your lips turn up into a smile to match his, “you’re not too bad yourself.”

He places a hand on your cheek and his thumb strokes the tender skin beneath your eye tenderly before he returns his hand to the steering wheel and drives you both home. The music blares from the speakers but he’s quick to turn it down to a more manageable level as you exit the car park and you fix your eyes on the horizon as Billy tries his best to stay within the speed limits.

“See you tomorrow,” you say as you unclip your seatbelt.

“You’re forgetting something,” he reminds you the moment your hand lands on the door.

You turn to see the smirk that’s now spread across his face and you lean over to kiss his cheek but instead get his lips as he snaps his head around at the last second which causes you to smile against his mouth.

“See you tomorrow,” he winks.

The walk to school in the morning was long and tedious but Billy usually ran late so you couldn’t always rely on him for the lift; although once you were at school and eventually reunited with him it certainly made the walk worthwhile. You spot his familiar figure through the doors of the school, walking towards them with his signature swagger that came so naturally to him, and just as he opens them to enter the building Jason runs up behind him and taps his shoulder, so you approach to see what he wanted.

“Yeah?” Billy asks, turning towards him with a frown.

“You two a thing now?” he questions irritably.

Both you and Billy look at one another with bemused expressions at his interest in your relationship, and he turns to look back at Jason with his hands on his hips, “what’s it to you?”

“It… I...” he struggles to find a legitimate reason to his initial question and Billy interrupts quickly.

“That’s what I thought,” he remarks, “mind your business Jason.”

The question posed by Jason plays on your mind your mind for the rest of the day, and the feeling of being watched only intensifies over the next couple of weeks even though Billy reassures you time and time again when you mention it to him. You’re almost convinced he’s right until one particular day where a trash can is knocked over from behind a wall that must have been caused by a person walking into it, and even though you rush to see who was lurking around the corner they’ve disappeared by the time you get there.

“Babe,” Billy says from behind you, causing you to jump and scream after your close call, “woah! Are you okay?”

He wraps his arms around you, feeling your shaking frame beneath his hands, and you take a deep breath, “no. No I’m not. Billy, I swear there was someone following me just now, honestly. They must have gone into the bin because it definitely didn’t just fall over on its own.”

“Alright baby,” he soothes, “it’s okay.”

“It’s not!” you protest, pushing him away with a sigh, “it’s making me into this jumpy person who’s scared of their own shadow, and I fucking hate it!”

He sees how upset this situation has made you then moves in to hold you once more, “I will make this okay. I will find out who the fuck is scaring you and I’ll deal with it, okay?”

“Promise?”

“I promise,” he sighs, kissing the top of your head gently.

Billy begins his mission of finding out who’s freaking you out, and it doesn’t take him long to see that Jason was the one following you around almost everywhere you went as he was less than subtle about the whole thing. He may have found out who it was, but the motive was a complete mystery to him; neither of you interacted much at all, and apart from the odd question a few weeks back he barely even looked at Billy. He knows he needs to confront him about but he’s not even sure what to say about the whole thing with how random Jason’s actions seemed to be. Billy’s mind is racing as he enters his last lesson of the day while you sit in the library on your study period waiting for him to finish, and just before the bell rings for the end of school Jason walks in and strides over to where you’re stood collecting up your books.

“You and Billy,” he starts, pushing a chair out of the way to get to you and backing you up into the wall, “what is it with you two, huh?”

You scoff at him at how out the blue this confrontation is, “what the fuck has it got to do with you?”

“Just tell me, are you two a couple?”

“I don’t need to answer that question,” you state, leaning away to pick your bag up.

Just as you move over to the side his fist connects with the wall that would have been directly next to your face, and all of a sudden he’s been pulled away and thrown to the ground where Billy then jumps onto him and begins to pummel his fists into his body one after the other in rapid succession.

“Billy!” you gasp, “stop!”

He looks up at the sound of your voice and climbs off of Jason in an angry daze, only calming when you place your hands on his arms and lead him out to the car so you can drive him to yours to clean him up. Billy doesn’t say a word on the way home even though you’re in the driving seat of his prized possession, and all he does is stare down at his bloodied hands, flexing his fingers every few seconds to see if it was real.

“Are you okay?” you finally ask once you’ve pulled up outside the house.

He looks over at you and nods, “yeah. Fine.”

You nod towards the front door and the two of you exit the vehicle and set up camp in your room along with tissues and a bowl of warm water to clean his hands with. Billy watches as you carefully wipe between each of his fingers and along every nail to wash the red away from his pale skin, then once you’ve cleared away all the used items and emptied the water out in the bathroom you return to your boyfriend who sits on the edge of the bed waiting.

“Hey,” you smile, filling the gap between his legs and letting his head come to a rest on your stomach, “how are you feeling?”

His hands slide around your thighs and up over your bum to your lower back then he turns his head to the side to reply, “less angry than I did before.”

“Good,” you whisper, your fingers running through his hair comfortingly.

He nudges the hem of your top up with his nose so he can kiss your stomach, then his hands move around and further up until he reaches your breasts where he begins to massage them, digging his fingers in to your soft supple skin. Clothes fall to the floor around you both, then there’s a blur of flesh being kissed and nibbled, bodies connecting and slotting in to one another like puzzle pieces until you’re both in a sweaty, panting heap on the bed with Billy making you arch your back off of the bed with one almighty moan of his name falling from your lips in a stuttered breath.

“Damn,” Billy exhales as he buries his head in your neck, “baby.”

You pull the covers up over both of your bodies and he lifts his head to give you a sleepy smile that melts your heart, “never leave me,” he whispers, showing a rare moment of weakness.

“I promise.”

Request: I would like to request Billy being oddly clingy randomly with reader when they are alone in public but a few times Jason catches them and asks about it and they brush it off. After a while Jason starts following her and Eddie told Billy that Jason was following her. The first time Eddie tells him Billy doesn't believe him. The next few times he catches Jason following her. Jason later confronts her and asks about what she is to Billy and when she doesn't answer he punches the wall near her and Billy just walks in the door and sees this. At which point it ends in a fist fight and Jason leaves. Reader cleans up Billy and it eventually leads to smut?? If possible. You can have fun with everything in the middle of all that.

[sophsiaaa]

going home

CHAPTER 1

bnha masterlist

pairing: tomura shigaraki x fem reader

summary: Stranded in another world that eerily follows the plot of your favourite manga, you find yourself sucked into the story, trapped on the side of the villains. You're just a girl who knows too much and wants to go home, but with Tomura Shigaraki watching you, escape won't be easy.

notes: I know this is a kinda cringey premise but I've had this idea trapped in my head for months and I love shigaraki so here.

chapter contains: attempted sexual assault (not shigaraki), canon typical violence

——————————————————————————————————

Shigaraki

Tomura was in a bad mood. 

This whole business with the Hero Killer had really pissed him off. Made worse by the fact that the media was still looping his arrest footage, his oh so tragic backstory. Every convenience store and outlet on the way back from the mall was running it.  

But what about his Nomu? They’d terrorized Hosu. They should be on the front page. He’d attacked the USJ. His master had promised that the world would learn to fear him. This was bullshit. Fucking Stain .  

Tomura ducked his head low beneath the dark shadow of his hood, keeping to the alleys and deserted side streets on his way back to the bar. The sun was dipping below the horizon, night rising, but it was still best to be careful. After all, he’d just held that Midoriya kid hostage at the mall and there were bound to be heroes looking for him by now. They could look all they liked, with Father in his pocket instead of on his face, he’d be unrecognizable. Unlike Stain, his face wasn’t being blasted on TVs across Japan.  

At least that little mall trip had helped. Tomura was still pissed, but now he had some clarity, something to work for. Killing All Might and forcing this rotten society to question just how secure its sense of peace and justice was. Yeah , he liked the sound of that.  

He grinned and kicked a can down the street. It clanked against the pavement in a hollow roll, but its tin-rattle was quickly drowned out by the voices Tomura heard in the next lane over.  

He slipped around the corner and raised a brow at the scene before him.  

There was a woman on the ground in a pile of rubbish and a blanket, looking wide-eyed up at two guys standing above her. She looked like shit, but that didn’t seem to phase the men. They were practically licking their lips as they leered down at her ragged figure. Gross .  

Tomura thought he might have seen them around before, they were pretty generic looking; just two NPCs playing at being villains. Clearly low level. The taller one had no obvious quirk, and his hair stuck up in pineapple spikes, sleeve tattoos plastered to his skin. The shorter one, who was now grabbing the woman roughly by her shirt and yanking her up, had massive radio-dish ears – a hearing quirk of some sort. Potentially useful.  

“Pretty stupid of you to be sleeping out here where anyone could grab ya!” said Radio-Head.  

The woman leaned as far back as she could. “Let me go!” she said, in English.  

Tomura raised his other brow. He could understand English well enough, though he was better at reading than speaking. His master had wanted him prepared to make allies with whomever it took, Japanese or foreigner. Still, it was jarring to hear her English against the familiar Japanese of the two men who had her.  

“Foreigner?” said Pineapple-Head. “No way. This is great!” 

“Yeah, means she won’t go to the heroes. They’d never believe her!” Radio-Head yanked her close and she yelped, kicking out at his knees only to be pressed against the rough brick of the alley wall. “Isn’t that right lovely?”  

“Fuck off! Let me go!” she said, again in English. She bit Radio-Head's fingers when he tried to press a palm over her mouth.  

He jumped back and Pineapple-Head pinned her arms instead. “You good?” he asked.  

“Fucking bitch bit me!”  

Tomura had had enough of watching this cutscene like some creepy vouyer. He shoved his hands in his pockets, pinkies tucked into his palms, and slipped out of the shadows, heading down the alley toward the bar. The two men startled, caught like misbehaving kids. Pineapple-Head almost jumped out of his tattoos. Radio-Head pulled out a knife and stood in the way. He hid his throbbing fingers. Tomura smirked. Heh . The woman was clearly pretty stupid if she let herself be caught sleeping out here, but at least she wasn’t just rolling over for these losers. Even now, she was trying to wriggle free as the men glared Tomura down like he was a threat, a bigger dog who might wrench away their bone. 

“Fuck are you doing here?” Radio-Head said. “Can’t you see this alley’s taken? 

“Yeah, piss off man!” said Pineapple-Head in the lamest gangster voice ever. 

Tomura scowled. Who the hell were these bastards to tell him to leave? Did they have any idea who they were dealing with?  

The woman called out this time. “Help!” she said and strained towards him.  

Tomura’s scowl only deepened. What, did she think he was her hero or something? This was her own mess. He needed to get back to the bar before Kurogiri bugged him. Plus, he had those new recruits to deal with – the crazy girl and the ugly guy with patchwork scars.  

“Get going before I make you!” said Radio-Head, brandishing his knife. It gleamed white in the rising moonlight. The bastard was all confidence as he barrelled closer.  

Tomura didn’t like that. Didn’t appreciate being threatened .  

He huffed. “You really think you could make me leave?” And he took a step forward, fingers itching in his hoodie, the weight of Father suddenly heavier. He was just going to leave; this woman wasn’t his problem. But these cocky assholes were just begging to be destroyed.  

And besides, he was still in a bad mood .  

Pineapple-Head was starting to move his palms toward the woman’s chest when Radio-Head lurched forward. The knife swiped in an ungraceful arch, missing Tomura almost comically. Off balance, Radio-Head fell forward, caught only by four fingers.  

“You know, you really should be more careful with that thing.” The knife clattered against the ground as Tomura pressed a fifth finger down. “Somebody might get hurt .” 

Radio-Head couldn’t even scream as his body turned to ash.  

“What the fuck?!” Pineapple-Head, finally catching on, forgot the woman and dashed for Tomura. He had no weapons, but he extended a palm and blinding light spewed out in an arrow. An emitter quirk, then.  

Tomura ducked it but had to squint as he reached out and held Pineapple-Head's face in his palm. The creep struggled and gasped, a fish on the chopping block, as veins of decay spread over his skin. He didn’t turn straight to dust, but rather, fell to the floor in chunks. His blood ran in lines through the grooves of the pavement.  

Tomura grinned. The thrill of destruction coursed through him, had his heart pounding. He’d killed them. The incessant itch that had bothered him since the Stain incident dissipated just a bit and he breathed deeply. Damn that felt good.  

“You killed them.”  

Oh, right. He forgot about her. 

The woman had cowered back in her nest of squalor, palms pressed flat to the ground, back against the wall, eyes rimmed with the glass of coming tears. She cast her gaze between her villainous saviour and the two dead piles of men.  

“Yeah, I did,” Tomura said in English. He grinned wider and stepped toward her. One more kill couldn’t hurt. Besides, this woman had seen his face. Seen him kill. It’s not like he could let her live.  

But as he approached, fingers poised to kill, she suddenly stood up. “Thank you!” she said. “Thank you, thank you, thank you.” She whispered it to herself, over and over, lowering her head in relief.  

Tomura hesitated. His movements stuttered. Was she seriously thanking him right now?  

She looked up at him, and there was something sickly about her that made Tomura almost feel sorry for her. A pallidness, a darkness. An otherness. She looked like she'd been sleeping in this alley for a while. She looked pathetic.  

Tomura pursed his lips and shook his hood back on. “Whatever,” he said in Japanese. He walked away, reaching for Father, for the sick comfort of the hand over his face. He really should kill her. He headed back toward the bar. 

“Wait!” Footsteps.  

Tomura ignored her, feeling an itch creep up his neck. The woman jogged up beside him, following.  

“Hey, please!”  

He could feel her looking at him as she struggled to keep pace. Would she just piss off already before he changed his mind? He didn’t have time for this side quest. “Go away.”  

“I need help.” 

The itch grew worse. “Do I look like a hero to you?” Tomura hissed.  

She stepped in front of him. "Please. Can you-" she paused, looked up at the hand on his face. Recognition lighted her eyes. She backed away. "Oh, you're..."

Her back was against the alley wall in a second, Tomura’s four fingered grip around her throat. He squeezed hard. He itched harder. This was more like it, the fear in her eyes, not that sappy gratefulness. Finally, someone who knew who he was.

He bared his teeth, scarred skin pulling tight. "Oh, you recognise me? That's nice."

The woman couldn't even speak.

“I did tell you to piss off,” he mumbled in Japanese, a little lightness entering his voice, a little laughter. He reached up and scratched, nails dragging coarse red lines over his neck. So itchy. “I'm glad to be noticed," he switched back to English, "but can't have you running to tell the heroes where I am, so...”

He pressed his fifth finger down.  

And nothing happened.  

No relief, no thrill, no death. The woman stared down at him, her pulse rapid in her throat. She didn’t decay. Tomura pressed in harder, as though he could tear into her flesh and turn her to dust. But she just wheezed. His quirk had no effect on her.  

His bloodshot eyes went wide. Why the hell wasn’t she dying ?  

“ Please ,” she said. "Don't."

Tomura sucked in a harsh breath; his eyes slitted into vicious papercuts. It must be her quirk. Some sort of immunity, like Eraserhead. He was touching her, skin to skin, hand on neck, and she wasn’t dead.

“What’s your quirk?” he demanded.  

The woman grimaced, tugging at his hand. “Quirk?”  

“Yeah. Tell me.” Tomura leaned closer, breath on her face. He needed to know. He needed...

But no amount of closeness could have prepared him for her response.  

She took a weak breath and shook her head. “I don't have a quirk...”  

Before Tomura could even understand what she meant, her eyes slipped closed and her head lulled into strangled unconsciousness.  

[cheolhub]

how would u take ur moots on dates?

OMG I WAS KIDDING BUT HSHSH OKAY OKAY, sorry if u cringe <3

@ncteez letting her paint me like one of her french girls (joking, im taking her to chili’s and paying for it and then im giving her dessert 🙈 ) and then we will go to vegas and get married fr

@hwanghyunjinenthusiast OMG my bff!!:)/ rj and i are going on an adventurous date. ill drive us to a city neither of us have been to before and we’ll do all the touristy shit bc BEING A TOURIST IS FUCKING FUN IDC WHAT ANYONE SAYS. id also let her talk to me ab skz cuz idk anything ab them

@toruro TO THE MALL we’re going shopping bc i feel like that’s something we’d both enjoy + i hate shopping alone so the company would be so nice :> and i think mika and i are pretty compatible so we’d have a lot to talk abt (i.e. how minghao is being shared between the two of us)

@lovelyhan my kai 🫂 a botanical garden just bc you remind me of flowers (idk if thats weird lol) but ur the greatest so u deserve the cutest date

@heesbaby CINNA!!!!:)2)2 i dont know why but i need to take you on a platonic yet romantic candlelit dinner??? will you accept??? ill make u a jay cardboard cutout if u say yes

@majestyjun i wanna take mills on a cute date like fruit picking or something 😭 but realistically, just a simple lil coffee date and like maybe walking arnd the city and getting to know each other :3

@luvrkives anywhere with a roller coaster tbh, i feel like we’d have so much fun even tho im the most annoying person at amusement parks hehehd

@bowmonde MY LOVELY LU, id want to do everything in a day with you ^^ cafe, museums, shopping, dinner— you would actually be so tired of me at the end of the day lololol

@gyulovly im taking daisy out to the city and we’ll eat at a hole-in-the-wall type of restaurant and then we’ll walk around downtown till our legs start to hurt lol

@hyuk4ngel I WOULD TAKE U TO THE FAIR!!!!! i love the fair so much even tho its like super overpriced and there are children (🤢) walking arnd, but we could eat fair food and take pics and if you like rides, we could do that too :>

@shua-s A DRIVE IN MOVIE SO I CAN ANNOYINGLY STATE MY OPINIONS ABT THE FILM WE ARE WATCHING WITHOUT GETTING SHUSHED AT. i would buy u food after to say thanks for putting up with me

@onlyseokmins i kinda wanna go on a ghost tour with you? LOL idk i get scared really easily but i feel like it’d be really fucking fun 😭 we could get ice cream/any desert after tho lnbshs

i didnt get all my moots, just the ones i talk/interact with the most 🫡 and once again these are platonic (not hon’s, i was being fr there) BC I DONT WANT TO MAKE ANY OF U UNCOMFYSHGSG

[goldenguillotines]

Lil facts about Xygrex-

he's like 8'2" btw.. Probably around Naka/Ketana/Lammeks age.. I shall try to do a full body another day but he's got a big ol taily. He can actually hide his fins and usually does so for shoots/going out in public but occasionally let's them out. Colors are complicated and he's got enough force in his one arm to take down anyone who wants to start some shit over it. He generally lives pretty quiet/passively and isn't ashamed of his life. He's got bank from being a pretty guy and just being himself. Why would he care what a stranger has to say about him..

Like Zatori- he's harboring drinker genetics. Makes his lifespan, unbeknownst to him, incredibly long. He's not as feral as he could be about it, just occasionally needs blood.. and does occasionally have to skip a day out in moonlight so he doesn't sunburn. He isn't provoked by the smell of blood and generally can hold himself back

frequents the malls / restraunts and ends up getting followed by a fan or two through it. Doesn't seem to care. Lives pretty unbothered. Does a lot of silemt vlog content and really knows his angles that make if fun and not boring. He does occasionally speak in them and make ootd appearances. He's kinda known for the toothy smile he has when he comes om camera, because despite his aesthetics/vibes he is pretty nice. Just a little hidden because of his bangs.

Hes got a soft spot for snakes and dogs. Specifically pitbulls. He genuinely cannot help the uncharacteristic "awh..." He let's out when he sees one. If he actually had a house, he'd have one but alas..

His wardrobe is pretty goth/tech/streetwear heavy, he does have some nicer/dressier outfits tucked away but they're more casual than too formal. He does tend to stick to blacks/whites. Doesn't wear any colors on purpose.

His favorite foods are very meat heavy, he prefers them more rare but why ruin a good cut of meat, ykno? He's not very picky but he seems to linger towards certain types of foods. He prefers spicy over sweet but will absolutely not turn his nose up at a good desert..

He likes getting out and doing stuff. Little adventures are a must. Something his former captain- The Calamity, told him to savor. So.. he did. Wholeheartedly. He enjoys his little adventures and they keep him in shape and athletic. He goes out to the beach for volleyball with the sea dwellers and goes hiking with mid/lowbloods. It's fun for him and makes him feel like.. yknow. Apart of something

[mittensmorgul]

2022 in Mittens Fic

It’s time again for the annual accounting of things I wrote this year! I’m pleased that while still a disappointingly low total for me, I still beat my total word count from 2021, so progress is being made, which I’ll always gladly take! Honestly anything is better than that 2020 total at this point lolol! I long since abandoned my goal of ever surpassing the 250k i posted in 2015, but that’s okay! I still wrote a decent bit!

For reference, past year end summaries can be found here:

2021 | 2020 | 2019 | 2018 | 2017 | 2016 | the closest thing I have to a 2015 wrap up post is the lil bit of text at the bottom of 2016′s post… even though my two most popular fics were from 2015 lololol

I managed a Pinefest fic, a DCRB fic, AND a DCBB fic this year, which is the first time I’ve ever managed all three, so go me I guess? And maybe I enjoy working to deadlines more than I ever assumed before? Or maybe I would’ve written even more if I hadn’t been pushing at deadlines (and letting myself slack off, even if rest is important and beneficial to writer brain, when I was far ahead of schedule...). But I’m overall pretty pleased with this year’s works.

I tied last year’s fic total, with six, but beat last year’s word count with 117,486, so go me! Not even counting the ~63k fic i’m working on for pinefest this year...even if it’s already written it’s not posting until February. Love rolling over a big fic into the new year every year like this. it feels weirdly like cheating somehow, yet I do it every year :’D

Also slightly cheating, but since I mentioned it last year, I still haven’t missed a week of my eternal rewatch podcast, @spngeorg which is still going strong! Uploading episode 91, 5.09 The Real Ghostbusters tonight! If my millions of words of written meta aren’t enough for you, you can now hear me being grumpy about this show out loud! (new episodes drop every Thursday night at or around midnight eastern time, if you’re interested you can start from the beginning on AnchorFM or wherever you enjoy podcasts!)

Let’s get to the fic! Presented in the order they posted:

Mr. Fix It (54,383 words, rated M) written for the Pinefest. It started with a photo of the shopping center sign that Mel sent me several years back, and the instruction “this is a writing prompt.” Amazingly, it was a great writing prompt! and a great art prompt, thanks to @lotrspnfangirl! Dean runs a repair shop called Mr. Fix It with Charlie, and Cas runs the bar at the other end of the strip mall, Steve’s. There’s shady real estate dealings, secret identities, and found family taking care of each other through it all.

lectio in equis (13,016 words, rated T) my first ever DCRB, and I screamed delightedly when I claimed @scarlettmichkat ’s artwork! Actually still kinda lowkey screaming about it. I LOVE this artwork. Like, wanna frame it and hang it in my living room love. Canon case fic, sort of, as Dean and Cas get to play cowboy for a day looking for a lost MoL chapter storage facility out in the New Mexico desert. Plus, Jesse and Cesar being the best retired hunters.

Baby X-File (2,698 words, rated T) Written for the final GISH hunt, a crossover scene between SPN and the X Files, canon-adjacent to both, to a prompt from my team captain who isn’t on tumblr... thank you Sammy!

honey wine  (764 words, rated T) annual deancasversary fic! They go to the rennfest, and medieval hilarity and fluff ensues

Heart Shaped Box  (43,504 words, rated M) my DCBB this year, canon case fic wherein Dean and Cas are the case. beautifully illustrated by @marvfortytwo​ and a cathartic walk through a series of memories. I mostly wanted to revisit . Set within days of Dean rescuing Cas from the Empty, because that’s exactly what happened in canon as we all know (I SAID, AS WE ALL KNOW).

The Ghost of Christmas Present(s) (3,121 words, rated T) annual holiday fic, Dean and Cas attempt holiday shopping together. hilarity and shmoop ensue.

And that’s my year in fic. Like I said at the top, I’ve already got more than half this total written to post in 2023, so it looks like I’m still not slowing down. Since I posted my To Be Written file’s stats last year, I figured I should do the same again...

lol... a year later, two pages and 1400 more words added... i swear at this rate i will never finish writing it all, which I find weirdly comforting.

Thanks to everyone who’s read, kudos’ed, commented, reblogged, rec’ed, and enjoyed anything I’ve written in the last year. I love you all. <3 See you in 2023!

[timelessxmemories]

Rating ALL the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe soundtracks because I'm autistic!

------

Mushroom Cup ;;

Mario Kart Stadium: 7/10. It's the first soundtrack in the first cup. Classic, but good. I like it.

Water Park: 8/10. Genuinely really enjoy this one. It sound very beachy which I really enjoy.

Sweet Sweet Canyon: 4/10. Definitely not my favourite. When I play Mario Kart I expect upbeat and playful music which is exactly what this is, but I just feel like it's missing something.

Thwomp Ruins: 3/10. Eh. Doesn't do it for me.

------

Flower Cup ;;

Mario Circuit: 5/10. It's just okay.

Toad Harbour: 8/10. It gives me Pokémon vibes and I don't know why. I vibe with it.

Twisted Mansion: 10/10. Honestly really fucking good. Lives up to its name and is a banger tbh.

Shy Guy Falls: 10/10. Yes please. Give me more of this thank you.

------

Star Cup ;;

Sunshine Airport: 0/10. I just don't vibe with it. I don't enjoy.

Dolphin Shoals: 9/10. Again, beachy vibe. I like it.

Electrodome: 6/10. Meh. Could be better, but still pretty good.

Mount Wario: 5/10. Another meh for me over here.

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Special Cup ;;

Cloudtop Cruise: 10/10. It's a classic. Ya gotta love it.

Bone-Dry Ruins: 4/10. Genuinely thought I'd like this a little more, but nope.

Bowser's Castle: 10/10. It's Bowser. Need I say more? It's a head-banger for sure.

Rainbow Road: 2/10. Eh.

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Egg Cup ;;

Yoshi Circuit: 10/10. Again, a classic. Absolute banger.

Excitebike Arena: 2/10. Where'd the excitement???

Dragon Driftway: 9/10. Okay, now we're talking.

Mute City: 10/10. yes please.

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Crossing Cup ;;

Baby Park: 5/10. It's okay.

Cheese Land: 0/10. Why does this even exist.

Wild Woods: 0/10. Too calm for me personally.

Animal Crossing: 10/10. I'm an Animal Crossing enthusiast.

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Shell Cup ;;

Moo Moo Meadows: 2/10. ????

Mario Circuit: 3/10. I kindly ask you to stop.

Cheep Cheep Beach: 7/10. Kinda lost the beach element, it's still there, but it's also not.

Toads Turnpike: 0/10. Stop.

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Banana Cup ;;

Dry Dry Desert: 9/10. Feels nice.

Donut Plains 3: 0/10. No thank you.

Royal Raceway: 1/10. Where is the royalty feeling???

DK Jungle: 10/10. No regrets.

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Leaf Cup ;;

Wario Stadium: 5/10. Got a bit better than last time.

Sherbet Land: 0/10. Can I leave?

Music Park: 0/10. No.

Yoshi Valley: 7/10. Gives Yoshi.

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Lightning Cup ;;

Tick-Tock Clock: 9/10. Silly. I like it.

Piranha Plant Slide: 7/10. It sure is.

Grumble Volcano: 10/10. Is it okay??

Rainbow Road: 10/10. Genuinely enjoy it.

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Zelda Cup ;;

Wario Goldmine: 0/10. Please stop.

Rainbow Road: 0/10. Gives me anxiety. What is even happening.

Ice Ice Outpost: 10/10. Toads always come in clutch.

Hyrule Circuit: 1/10. As much as I love TLOZ, this one doesn't do it for me.

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Bell Cup ;;

Neo-Bowser City: 1/10. Nuh-uh.

Ribbon Road: 8/10. Okay, alright, I hear ya.

Super Bell Subway: 0/10. No thank you.

Big Blue: 100/10. Y E S.

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DLC WAVES:

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Golden Mushroom Cup ;;

Paris Promenade: 0/10. French people don't exist silly!

Toad Circuit: 0/10. Carbon copy of Mario Circuit.

Choco Mountain: 0/10. No.

Coconut Mall: 100/10. Get coconut malled idiot.

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Bell Cup 2 ;;

Tokyo Blur: 4/10. It exists.

Shroom Ridge: 10/10. It's a vibe.

Sky Garden: 6/10. Nice feel to it.

Ninja Hideaway: 10000/10. TOP FUCKING 3.

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Turnip Cup ;;

New York Minute: 0/10. I don't vibe.

Mario Circuit 3: 0/10. Im in hell.

Kalimari Desert: 0/10. ???

Waluigi Pinball: 10/10. Only because Waluigi got recognition.

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Fly Mushroom Cup ;;

Sydney Sprint: 0/10. Help.

Snow Land: 9/10. Getting somewhere finally!

Mushroom Gorge: 100000/10. AGAIN, TOP FUCKING 3.

Sky-High Sundae: 0/10. No.

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Rock Shroom Cup ;;

London Loop: 10/10. I vibe.

Boo Lake: 5/10. It's here.

Rock Rock Mountain: 8/10. I like it!

Maple Treeway: 10000/10. NOT TOP THREE THO. JUST BECAUSE WIGGLER.

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Moon Cup ;;

Berlin Byways: 10/10. Fuck yeah!!

Peach Gardens: 0/10. Please leave me alone.

Merry Mountain: 6/10. Merry chrisler

Rainbow Road: 0/10. I can't escape.

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Peach Cup ;;

Amsterdam Drift: 7/10. I'm vibing, I'm vibing.

Riverside Park: 2/10. ok.

DK Summit: 5/10. Yeah it exists.

Yoshis Island: 10/10. Please do more of this. I like this.

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Boomerang Cup ;;

Bangkok Rush: 0/10. It's certainly... unique..?

Mario Circuit: 0/10. STOP. PLEASE. LET ME FREE.

Waluigi Stadium: 100/10. MORE RECOGNITION FOR OUR BOY.

Singapore Speedway: 2/10. Uh.

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Feather Cup ;;

Athens Dash: 10/10. Sounds regal, I love this one.

Daisy Cruiser: 6/10. Yeah.

Moonview Highway: 10/10. I'm vibing!!

Squeaky Clean Sprint: 100/10. For the ducky alone. It's a mecore track.

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Cherry Cup ;;

Los Angeles Laps: 0/10. No.

Sunset Wilds: 10/10. Feels very Shy-Guy and I'm 100% here for it.

Koopa Cape: 10/10. Yes please.

Vancouver Velocity: 10/10. Familiar for some reason.

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Acorn Cup ;;

Rome Avanti: 5/10. Fancy.

DK Mountain: 10/10. Oooo!

Daisy Circuit: 10/10. Just because it has Daisy and Luigi dancing.

Piranha Plant Cove: 8/10. I can vibe with it!

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Blue Shell Cup ;;

Madrid Drive: 10/10. I vibe.

Rosalinas Iceworld: 10/10. Again, more recognition for our girl is needed Nintendo!!!

Bowser Castle 3: 100000/10. TOP FUCKING 3. HOLY SHIT.

Rainbow Road: 7/10. Got a bit better!

[erigold13261]

>:3 more headcanons

1. Mayday and Purl Hew start purring if pet for long periods of time ( You bet thier partners take advantage of that)

2. Tatiana tried licking a curling iron when she was younger, it didn't go well

3. West and DJ love depressing county music and give each other recommendations on songs the other might like

4. Kliff has a big collection of 50's rock movies

5. Mama bit a guy in 8th grade who wouldn't stop touching her hair, he got better luckily but she hasn't told anyone since

6. Sofa chills at a cat Cafe when the crew have a day off of course Sayu merself joins in

7. Zimelu is a huge Gundam nerd and has several models, that no one is allowed to touch

8. 1010 found the old advertisements J shot for NSR and have never laughed harder, J was just embarrassed the whole time and made sure this would never be found again

1). I LOVE the headcanon that Purl makes weird or animalistic noises so much, and I can totally see May also doing that! May doesn't mind purring for her partners, Purl does and if pushed they will just leave for the night all pouty.

2). You know what? I'm pretty sure NO ONE in Tatiana's family or friend group would have a curling iron. So that literally means that Tatiana either went to a mall, hair salon, or some random person with a hair iron and licked it lol!

Also, I see her as not being hurt, so that isn't the "didn't go well part." What was though was either Joust or Quida thinking it was not hot because of Tatiana's lack of reaction and so one of them licked it, which is when things went down hill and chaos ensues!

3). Honestly, I don't see DJSS as liking country music until they hear West and Purl listening to depressing country music and he fell in love with it. Before all he heard was like the stereotypical "bad" country music that a lot of people seem to hate, so hearing a "good" country song was something else for them.

I also don't know if this counts as "depressing country" music, but I can see them all really liking Poor Man's Poison (which is Folk genre but kinda close to Country, maybe. Let me know if I'm wrong lol). I love that band so much and some of their songs are on the darker side! Purl would love "Stronger than the Whiskey" while DJSS I can see liking maybe "Pressure Cracks" or "Black Sheep" and West would really love "Georgia Law Man" and " Hell's Coming With Me."

4). I don't knoooow... Kliff doesn't seem like a rock fan to me. /j

No, but he totally would! I can see Kliff having all the major songs, vinyls, CDs, cassettes, and whatever else of all the most popular rock bands of each year/decade. Then he'd have smaller artists that he liked and then just a HUGE digital collection of all kinds of rock music too! This guy lives, laughs, loves rock!

5). I can honestly just see her punching a guy touching her hair. She knows not to bite people unless really in danger or something because she could potentially kill someone with her venom.

That being said, she WOULD bite someone to protect Papa when they were younger. It only happened once, but that kid (and other kids) never bothers Rubato after that incident ever again. It finally put a stop to all the bullying he was going through at the time, since none of the other adults would ever stop it.

And again, thankfully he got better. She doesn't like to tell that story, and Papa knows this, so it never gets told to people around her. Though I'm sure her mom would let it slip one day during a visit with Yinu probably lol.

6). Sofa, Sayu, Haym, and Yua all have weekly cat cafe meetings. Many fans await the many photos of foam cat coffee or cute deserts that the 4 put out after the outing lol.

7). The only one who would be allowed would be Eloni and that's only because he would have helped Zimelu build them lol! Other than that they are never touched and put inside a beautiful display case (I know nothing about Gundam other than it is a mecha anime lol)

8). I honestly don't see Neon making advertisements without 1010 as I see him and 1010 as starting NSR together and not like Neon started as some guard or something and then made 1010. So 1010 would definitely already know all the advertisements Neon would have made.

However! I can see them looking back to the first ever 1010 advertisements and laughing at how bad they were for the time. Neon is obviously embarrassed at how messy and awful they are, but is happy with how much he has improved.

If anything, I can see 1010 doing embarrassing advertisements at first before they finally told Neon "We don't want to do this commercial" or whatever. Now 1010 and Neon make sure they communicate if they want to do a ad, collab, promotion, etc.